#this has been sitting in my docs for over 2 years now

[hay-389]

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Total crap.

Because as Maddie groans from the pounding in her head, her eyes open to a sight she wasn’t quite prepared for—a stranger lying next to her in bed, almost seeming to come to the same realization at the exact same time as her. She shrieks, clearly surprised, causing him to roll out of bed and onto the floor with only his boxers on.

There isn’t much concern though for why they are both barely dressed, not as he lifts his left hand up as if stunned to see a wedding ring on his finger. “What the hell?”

Now that causes Maddie to frown, because how do you suddenly forget you're married to someone?

But then her heart sinks, because she can finally feel it. The tiny cool object encasing her own finger. She lifts her hand up and reveals a silver ring, the exact same shade as the man’s, with a sparkly diamond resting on top for both of their eyes to see.

Well…shit.

Shit shit shit.

This can’t be real. This ring on her finger absolutely, one hundred percent, has to be fake. It has to be just some cheap piece of jewelry that she bought late last night as a joke, after she sold her ex-fiancé’s ring at the pawnshop for the money to go on this trip. Or maybe she saw it through a shop window and said to hell with it, she liked it and it looked nice, and she was leaving with way more money then she came with, so why not treat herself?

From the way this guy is looking at her though, a matching silver ring on his finger, Maddie knows this wasn’t something either of them expected to wake up to—no doubt married and not knowing each other’s names, most likely from a long night of heavy drinking. Things have suddenly become a thousand times more awkward, and Maddie just wishes she can lay back in bed and let the mattress swallow her whole because this simply cannot be happening right now. This trip to Vegas was supposed to be fun, but apparently drunk Maddie had way too much fun.

“I...I’m going to assume you remember about as much as me as how we ended up here?”

“Nothing?” She questions, holding the bed sheet just a little tighter to her body. Maddie feels very exposed, in more ways than one, even as this guy tries his best to avert his eyes and give her some sense of privacy.

“Oh yeah,” he replies, awkwardly scratching the back of his head with his left hand. “I remember meeting you at the bar last night and...that’s about it.”

She can remember that much too…and that it was Buck who convinced her to go.

Oh, she’s going to kill her brother…or maybe he’ll kill her after he finds out she’s married a complete and total stranger; all she knows is someone is definitely dying, and out of the two Buckley siblings it will most likely be Buck, because this mess has his name written all over it. There’s just no way Maddie Buckley, the girl who has always been just a little too shy and humble, had looked at some stranger she met in a Las Vegas casino bar and thought to hell with it, let’s get married. A few drinks would have loosened her up but not enough to engage in whatever the hell transpired last night, especially not as she’s trying to make a fresh start with her little brother. She must have been flat out drunk out of her mind, and Buck as well, because apparently he hadn’t stopped her from falling into that funny trap people joke about when visiting Vegas.

Come on Maddie, just a few shots. We came here to have fun, remember? You deserve it.

Those words ricashed in her head, causing her pounding headache to worsen at Buck’s encouragement to get her to have fun instead of looking over her shoulder for ghosts that probably weren’t there. Technically he was right, they were driving through Vegas for that reason alone, but her idea of fun definitely did not involve a Casino’s church and a waking up in a bed with someone she can’t even remember the name of.

Oh yeah, Buck is totally dead.

[l0vergirlv0mit]

Bags

Song to go with: Bag by Clairo ❤️

Pairing: College!Hazel Callahan x Reader

Summary: you’ve been in love with your best friend for years. Watching her date people sucks especially when one of the absolutely despises you.

Contents/warning: Switch!Hazel x Switch!Reader, fingering, oral, pet names, nipple play, cursing, threats, light? violence (nothing gory), sm yearning.

A/n: for the dorm imagine Buffy and willows dorm from btvs<3. Also reader isn’t fem but also isn’t masc but is definitely masc leaning. for my in between girlies 😘.

You alarm clock rudely wakes you up with an incessant buzz. Hitting it a bit to hard it falls off your night stand making you groan into the sunlit room. You sit up with squinted eyes not noticing that Hazel was still in the dorm. “Well good morning sleepy head.” She smiles at your groggy state.

You wake up just enough to snatch the alarm clock of the ground and punch it off. “Ughhh good morning.” Your eyes finally adjust to the light fully taking Hazel in. She was still in her pjs wearing a white wife pleaser and low waisted grey sweats. “Shouldn’t you be in class right now?” You ask her confused as to why she was skipping her morning class.

“I should but Anya had me up till 2.” She clasps her hands around the back of her neck. She still had her tired raspy voice probably having woken up a couple minutes before you. “Oh god spare me.” Suppressing an eye roll you got up from the bed and grabbed your towel, getting ready to go to the showers. Anya pissed you off to no end.

And it wasn’t because she was dating the person you wanted more than anything (maybe a little bit). It was her glares and her back handed compliments that she gave you any chance she could. How she would snap at people over anything and everything she was extremely abrasive.

Your friends tried to explain that that was just her personality but you didn’t function like that you were quiet and sweet. Both didn’t mix well so she tended to single you out. Always trying to push you out of your comfort zone by teasing and getting a rise out of you. You can barley ask a waiter for ketchup let alone defend yourself. But you refuse to tell Hazel about her behavior because she was happy. She was so sweet to Hazel and that made you most livid.

“Not like that y/n we went out for our 4 months.” She grinned at your scrunched face. “How fun nothing says I love you like sleep deprivation.” She raises her eyebrows at your grouchy mood with a soft smile still on her lips.

“Oh wow someone’s moody, anyway Josie was texting the group chat about a going to the bar tonight are you gonna come?” Hazel asks you hoping you’d say yes because you never go out. “Mmm I’ll think about it Haze Ill probably have a lot of work to do.” Hazel sighs. “Pleaseeee you never come out with us anymore.” She give you a pleading look. “I have a lot of today I’ll let you know if I’m up for it.” You giggle at her childish tone and pat her shoulder then leave the dorm.

—

You let Hazel know you were coming and put your phone down and change out of your work clothes. Your style has always been a bit more grungy and masculine only really dressing a bit feminine for special events or outings.

You put on your favorite baggy black jeans that hung off your hips so beautifully. Then put on a spaghetti strap tank top and a long sleeve over it made of black mesh and lace that was completely see through. You left your hair messy and smudged black shadow and liner on your eyes. Finishing off your outfit by putting on your black docs.

Hazel was already with the group so you drove yourself to Josie, PJ, and Isabel’s shared apartment. You found your way to the apartment door knocking timidly. You rock back and forth on your feet waiting for someone to open the door.

When someone finally does it’s her. She doesn’t talk to you directly. “Y/n is here now guys can we finally leave?” She says not letting you in yet talking to YOUR friends behind the door.

Hazel quickly comes to the door and smiles brightly at you pulling you in by your hand . “Oh wow someone’s trying to get lucky tonight.” Hazel softly says nudging you. This earns you a glare from Anya.

The group sits in the living room area to catch up before heading out. Everyone’s talking but your mind is elsewhere. You’ve always been the quieter one of the group so your lack of conversation goes unnoticed.

You can’t help but stare at Hazel and Anya. A deep grief blooms in your chest. Hazels arm around Anya protectively. Anya tucks a piece of hair behind Hazels ear and kissed her on the cheek. Hazels face becomes so soft and loving it tears you apart wishing so bad that you were Anya. Hazels hand travels to her waist to pull her closer just to top it off.

You look at Anya for a bit taking in how perfect and pretty she is. She’s so feminine and put together. She was everything you would never be. She had on a full face of makeup that was perfectly done and a dress that hugged in all the right spots. She was an absolutely gorgeous girl.

You were only pulled out of this haze by Josie putting her hand on your knee. Knowing exactly what was going through your mind. You had drunkenly told her about your 2 year long crush on Hazel in a club bathroom. You look back at her with glazed over eyes and squeeze her hand as a silent thank you.

“Are you guys ready to get wasted cause I am.” Josie announced and pulled you up with her off the couch. She looks to you and smiles trying to change the mood that’s setting in. You smile back but felt suffocated anyway and had to leave. Everyone excitedly agrees and heads over the bar.

—

This bar was THE bar all the college kids go there to find hookups and get drunk. The group gets drinks to loosen up but you decide to hold off for tonight. You let your friends make you dance their tipsy state amusing you. You move timidly at first but the encouragement from your friends has you swaying to the music.

You danced with Britney trying to absorb her confidence in some way. When Hazel comes over to playfully dance with you twirling you around and giggling. She saw your shyness and was trying to remedy it.

She made you sway with her hands on your waist. It was all friendly and playful and you were best friends so it wasn’t unusual behavior.

Nonetheless you felt your face get warmer at her proximity. Anya was staring from the bar after telling Hazel she didn’t feel like dancing. Anya really thought Hazel was just going to sit there and watch all of her friends dance instead.

Anya quickly changed her mind though. Seeing you too make her jealous. Hopping out of her seat and waltzing over to shove you away from Hazel with feigned innocence. Hazel mouths sorry towards you and it was your turn to go to the bar and watch from a far. You get yourself a coke to sip on since you would be driving later, not much of a drinker anyway.

You sit there mindlessly scrolling your phone trying to keep yourself occupied. Watching them still it hurts your chest. Hazel holds Anya close she has her face in the crook of her neck holding her from behind. It was a real sight. Especially when Hazel looked so good. Her cropped white tee and baggy jeans left just enough midriff exposed to mesmerize you.

Josie comes to sit besides you breaking your trance. “I hate her.” Is all she says and she looks from Anya to you. “Me too.” You both laugh together. “Yeah she’s kind of a bitch isn’t she.” Josie remarks pressing her lips together and furrowing her brows.

“Yeah she’s something.” You huffed and smiled brighter grateful for your friendship .That’s when Josie gets a certain look that you know to well. “You wanna smoke?” She flashes you a wide grin and wiggles her eyebrows. “Oh god yes.” You take one last sip of your coke and follow her outside.

—

You and Josie walk back into the bar in a hazy giggle. After a shit talking session that had you loosing your shit and gasping at gossip. You go to dance again and you notice Anya arguing with Hazel.

Anya rolled her eyes and says something that made Hazels face contort into hurt. Hazel says something in a pout then storms off in the other direction. “Jesus they do this shit every fucking night bro.” Josie rolls her eyes following Hazel to the bathroom. Every night? You though to yourself. You were under the impression everything was great?

The anger taking over your body doesn’t let you ponder over it more. Body moving without you telling it too, you yank her shoulder to face you. She was taller than you and definitely stronger then you but you didn’t care. The face Hazel made at Anya was enough motivation. You could’ve fought 10 frat boys and won.

“Hey! What did you say to her.” You could stand her being mean to you but being mean Hazel was absolutely not allowed. “I don’t think that’s any of your business y/n.”

She looks you up and down. “I suggest you fuck off before I tell her your little secret.” She gets closer to you only inches from your face. “What do you mean secret?” You started getting nervous. She grabs your face in her hand and looks in your scared eyes. “Your in love with her. It’s pathetic really the way you gawk at her.” Her acrylics are digging into your cheeks. Frantically staring at her in disbelief.

“Start keeping your distance y/n, Im not worried about you im just annoyed that you THINK that could happen. Like she’d ever be into someone like you.”

She let’s go of your face lightly tapping it. You feel tears fill your eyes about to break the barrier of your water line. “I-i… f-fuck you Anya.” Tears cascade down your face. Anya just vocalized your internal thoughts for the past 2 years now your sure she’s some demon from hell that crawled out to make your life miserable.

Just as Hazel and Josie come out of the bathroom they see you walk quickly out of the bar. Hazel feels completely exhausted, this was supposed to be a fun night you FINALLY agreed to have fun and hang out again.

Hazel follows you out just catching up to you when you get to the door of your car. “Y/n! Wait! Please, where are you going it’s barley been an hour?” She looks at you confused eye brows pushed together and hands on her hips. “I’m tired Hazel.” You can’t face her you can’t stop the tears rolling down.

You open the door but Hazel puts a firm hand down closing it again getting frustrated at your short response. You finally look her in the eyes and she takes you in. “Holy shit y/n are you ok?” She goes to put a hand on your shoulder but you flinch. Her face becomes even more worried than before. Staring at the streaks running down your cheeks.

“Please Hazel I just wanna go home. I’ll talk to you tomorrow ok.” Hazel moves her hand from the door and lets you open it. “We will talk about this tomorrow?” She ask you to get more confirmation. “We will.” You reassured her knowing talking was the last thing you were gonna do.

You drove back to your dorm still feeling shocks of fear pulse through you at the thought of Hazel knowing you were completely in love with her. Losing her would do more than wreck you. She’s been your best friend for what felt like forever.

Finally inside your dorm you rip your clothes off and put you pjs on as fast as you could. You didn’t bother to take your make up off and fell asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow. Thank god for the weed.

—

Your woken up by the jiggling of keys. You turn to look at the time and you way overslept. “Oh your up.” She closes the door lightly walking over to your bed. She puts a brown paper on your nightstand and smiled softly at you. “I got you a bagel from the place we like, I made sure they put extra cheese and hash browns. And I got you salsa.” The same sadness you felt the night before washed over you. Her sweetness makes you fall apart in more ways then one.

“Thanks Hazel.” You can only produce a small awkward smile. “Do you wanna talk about last night?” She carefully sat next to you and put her hand on your back, rubbing up and down. “I’m ok Hazel, really it’s fine.” You brush her off.

“I can’t help you if you push me away y/n. You’ve been really distant recently I’m worried. I-i mean did I do something?” She spoke softly and looked at your face silently begging for you to look her in the eyes instead of the floor.

But you can’t you start to cry before you can even get a word out. “No you didn’t do anything I’m sorry. Last night Anya was just really mean. Well she’s mean every time I’m around her but I-I’m sorry.” You spoke through tears and hiccups not even knowing even know why you were saying sorry. Regretting everything you just said. You knew Anya was going to tell her—everything was going to be ripped away from you.

Hazels face contorted into anger and shock. You were petrified that you had made her angry at you. “Anya did this.” Her tone was steady and dark. You nodded. Her jaw was clenched and her fist balled breathing heavily. She grabs her keys and opens the door. “I’ll be back in 30 minutes.” She shut the door behind her harder than she meant too. She quite literally couldn’t control her anger. She liked Anya, a lot actually, but the fighting has gotten to much. Hazel could handle a bit of sass from her here and there. But knowing she hurt you had Hazel enraged.

—

It had been 45 minutes of you sitting there bouncing your leg. Shaking anticipating the consequences of your breakdown. You tried watching a movie to get your mind off of your situation but you couldn’t focus. The bagel on your nightstand making you nauseous just by being there. Frustrated tears forcing there way up every once in a while.

You hear the knob jiggle and keys. Your immediately alerted. Hazel calmly walks through the door and moves to where you’ve come to stand infront of your bed. She takes your face into her soft hands pulling you into the deepest kiss you’ve ever had. When she finally lets you catch your breath she looks in your watery eyes .

“Why did you never tell me.” She whispers looking over your post cry face. Your lips puffy and pink frustrated cheeks. You notice that her lip is busted and she has a mark on her cheek that is definitely going to turn into a bruise. “Y-you aren’t angry? Are you ok?” You started to tear up again from the relief.

“No baby i could never be angry at you. And I’m fine just thought I should put what I’ve learned in my boxing class to use.” As she’s wiping your tears way, your remember, her and Anya took the same boxing class; thats actually how they met. Hazel looked angry but you didn’t think she was THAT angry. “I didn’t think you thought I was pretty.” She pulls you closer to her. “What! Why is that?” She questioned from the crook of your neck. “Cause you date girls like Anya I didn’t think I was your type.”

Hazel suddenly starts placing kisses on your neck. She realizes she has you turning into putty in her hands, like she always wanted. Everything about you was captivating to her in this moment. The way you smelled, the way your skin felt, how she could hear your breathing pick up with every kiss.

Your heart was racing you couldn’t believe this was actually happening. “Your not gonna have to worry about Anya anymore honey, I promise. Your the only girl I want. And your sooo my type.” Hazel sucks a bruise with no warning into your neck and licks over it. “Oh my god Hazel please.” Your hand reaches up into her hair your fingers tangled in her silky brown tresses. “Please what baby?”

Your face got impossibly redder whole body on fire unsure of how to answer her. Feeling the way Hazels hands roamed you made your head spin. You just couldn’t take it anymore pulling her up lightly by the hair to have her look at you.

“I need you.”

You make sure you say it clearly. Hazels eyes become more lidded than before overcome with lust. She pushed you backwards towards her bed until you fall into her sheets.

“Y-your so beautiful.” Shes stammering seeing you laid out in HER bed. She connects your lips again teeth clashing and tongues fighting for dominance.

You want to make her feel as good as she’s making you feel. Her knee comes between your legs giving you relief from pulsing heart beat that’s developed.

Your grinding on each other urgently. Years of pent up sexual frustration and longing being released.

You try to keep up with her kisses the best you can. The friction making you lose control. Completely entangled in each other, hands trying to feel every part of her.

Exchanging heavy breaths and soft whimpers. It was frenzied and sloppy it was the hottest thing you’ve ever experienced.

You tug her shirt over her head. She does the same for your exposing your bare chest. “Fuck.” Her brows pushing together as she feels her arousal pooling in her boxers. She can’t help but gently thumb your hard nipple trailing kisses from your collar bone to your breast.

She took the soft flesh into her mouth leaving hot kisses. Her hand massaged the other. Her lips wrapped around your nipple and released it with a pop. You let out a strained moan.

Her hand traveled to the waist band of your pajamas pants. Teasing you with her fingers moving back and forth under the fabric.

“Can I take these off.” She ask you her eyes begging you to say yes, desperate to see all of you. “Please” You nodded and she gently undressed you leaving your skin vulnerable to cool air for your dorm.

It doesn’t matter though, because Hazels warm body is pressed to you in a second. Her hand trails from your breast to your hip slowly, keeping your attention.

“Do you know how long Ive wanted you?” You shake your head, voice escaping you in the moment. Her finger slides through your folds, your wetness sending waves of pleasure and confidence through her. The sound alone made her ache.

“Way to fucking long.” She slips a finger in your soaked needy hole. You let out an open mouthed exhale. She slips in another finger. “Fuck! Mm-n!”

Her fingers stretched you out and the sensation was mind numbing. An endless repeat hazelhazelhazelhazel. Was all you could think about. Her fingers curled at a slow pace hitting just the right spot. Working your clit with her thumb at the same time.

“Im I making you feel good honey?” Her voice was gentle and attentive. The way she was grinding down on your thigh mixed with your pretty noises was making her go insane. Your moans start to get more frequent. As you were embarrassingly close to release so soon. “S-so good Hazel.”

“Talk to me sweetheart. This is all mine now right?” Hazel questions you her pace picking up and mouthing your tits. “All yours all yours all yours all…” You mumbled to her as your eyes flutter. “That’s right honey.” She kept a rough tempo leaving marks on your chest until you were finally coming undone under her.

Shes watches as your orgasm possesses you. Moaning her name as you arch your back grinding yourself against her fingers. “Yeah honey just like that cum for me baby.” She doesn’t stop till your squirming from overstimulation.

You catch your breath for a second before becoming focused. You didn’t want your fatigue from your orgasm to keep you from pleasing her. Hazels already pulling you into another deep kiss like before.

“I want to make you feel good now Hazel.” She seemed a little shocked. As you think about the girls she’s hooked up that’s probably not the kind of treatment she was used too.

“You don’t have to y/n, making you cum is pleasure enough.” She seemed almost nervous. You shake your head and take her hand placing the two fingers that were just fucking deep inside of you into your mouth.

Releasing them with a pop. Her eyes are droopy and mouth slightly open. Her chest breathing deeply overwhelmed with lust. “No Hazel. I really want to make you feel good.”

Hazels ripping off her sports bra without another word. You nudge her shoulder down and straddle her. She’s frantically trying to take her sweats and boxers off. You help her rip them off and throw them across the room.

The sight is beautiful she’s completely soak, all you want is to have your face between her thighs. “Can I taste you?” You ask coyly as your hands rub up and down the tops of her thighs, your words going straight to her core. “Fuck, y-yeah, yes p-please—I mean.”

You settle between her thighs leaving light kisses on her inner thighs. Hazels having a hard time keeping still with you so close to where she needed you.

You look up into her eyes through your lashes as your breath fans over her soaked cunt. She lets out a whimper on accident and it set her body on fire with embarrassment.

Finally you lick a broad stripe. Hazel sign in relief. Her fingers pulling at your roots. Your hands are hooked over her thighs keeping them apart. Tongue flicking over her clit at a pace YOU didn’t even know was possible.

Hazel eased into the feeling of being taken care of. She’s switching between look you in the eyes and looking at the ceiling when the shyness become too much. She quietly took in the sensation of being taken care of before speaking trying to get rid of the shyness.

“I’ve thought about you like this s-so many nights.” Hazel mumbles out between whimpers. You push your finger into her curling. “Yeah?” You question quickly. She throws her head back when you go back to sucking on her clit.

You add another finger. Pace becoming quicker and deeper. “I always imagined this,oh god,h-happening during one of our movie nights.” You hum into her creating a whole new sensation as her legs start to quake. “I th-thought youd take the hint. Oh god don’t stop.”

She let out a soft laugh until the knot in her stomach was becoming to much to handle. “I mean we c-cuddled for like 3 hours at a time! Shitshitshit!” Hazels grip on your hair became tight as her eyes rolled back, letting out a loud moan. The knot in her stomach snapping as the white hot feeling flushes over her.

You watch her in awe. Her chest heaving as she grinds into you her other hand gripping the headboard showing her toned tricep.

You help her fully ride out her orgasm then pull away to use your shirt to clean yourself in and lay next to her gently.

Hazel turns to look at you with a tired smile spreading across her face. She cups your cheek once more kissing your forehead. “I thought it would end like this too.” She says to you quietly. “Me too.” You reply going to kiss the tip of her nose. She looks into your eyes for a moment thinking.

Her eyebrows push together as a though crosses her mind. “Did you ever eat the bagel?” You laugh at her genuinely concerned question and pull her into an embrace, warm bodies lovingly entwined. “No I actually thought I was dying though in my defense.” Hazel pouts at you.

“Did you beat up Anya?” You question her instead. “I tried to but she honestly kicked my ass sooo bad, like embarrassing I’m so happy you weren’t there” You laughed at this too.

“I looked cool though right?” She dropped her voice dramatically. “Oh yeah sooo cool.” She gasped at your sarcasm.

When your both of yours laughter dies down it’s seems both of you have the same realization that your best friend was now your girlfriend. Eyes saying what they needed too.

“You wanna watch a movie?” You asked quietly. “Only after you eat cause a $12 bagel on a college student budget is atrocious.” She kissed your forehead and nudged you to get up.

(Thank you for reading😙)

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 3.3

John having to get high out of his mind because he knows he's invited Paul to come play with him is so so sad. These are the same guys who used to sit facing each other on a bed playing guitars for hours, and now this is them?

Is John calling Paul “Jack Lemon” a reference to “some like it hot”? Because if so, I have questions. Anyway, when your estranged best friend shows up to hang out with you and a bunch of people, talking about being in love again and getting jizzed on is extremely normal and acceptable behavior.

This jam session is so fucking painful though. Paul's doing his best to just push through and get them to actually play something and John's just too far gone.

My theory: there's two reasons he did this. 1. He's avoidant and the last thing he's going to do is let on how bad he needs John in his life and how scared he is that if John gets back with Yoko that that'll be difficult. And 2. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't. If he'd kept it from John that Yoko wanted him back and later John cried to him about how much he missed Yoko or something? Paul can't have that.

John singing a snatch of Yesterday before a take of “Whatever gets you through the Night”??? Did either of them ever write a song where they weren't thinking about the other? Did they ever have a minute of peace without the other rattling the bars of the cage in his brain?

“Hold me Darling, come on, listen to me. I won't do you no harm.” Duh it's about Paul. Oh my gosh.

And with Bless You I'm always so torn. There are so many obvious references to Paul which the doc points out beautifully, but situationally it could also be about Yoko. Maybe it's about both of them in the same way that don't let me down is about both of them.

Anyway the cosmic visuals are gorgeous.

Why'd you have to phrase it like that though? Twice?

Hall of Fame moment. It's a high point for him career-wise and he chose to pull Paul into his spotlight. Not only to sing Paul's song, not only to name-drop him, but to publicly call him an official romantic title. Not “boyfriend” or “ex-wife” which both could've been much more mocking if that's what he was trying to do. But “fiance”. It's official and respected, but it's still got the lustful, unsettled, connotation that something like “husband” lacks.

Johann Weener, everyone. What a loser.

Everyone who still refers to Lennon Remembers like it's the fucking Bible listen to this. It doesn't go on for the next five years, let alone fifty.

John refusing to walk to blocks to sign the papers when George and Paul flew over the ocean. And only on the basis of astrology. He really didn't want the divorce. My heart aches for him. But he made his bed as they say.

I'm putting on my tinfoil hat again here, but I do just have to point out that one of John's first songs, “Hello, Little Girl,” has a line that goes, “you never seem to see me standing there”. And the earliest draft of WISHST, which was started soon after, answers that line. “I saw you standing there.” (Yes, it said you originally, not her). So maybe. Just maybe. That song wasn't just a Paul song, but a song that John knew Paul had put a message in for him. Okay, I apologize for the insanity. On another note, I do wonder if he ever found out what Paul thought of that.

Interviewer: ≈ at this point, do you like writing by yourself, or do you want to write with Paul again?≈ John: ≈well it's a bit of both. It's the same for Paul. We were talking about it a week ago. Okay, cool. So they definitely talked openly and honestly about potentially writing together again.

John, about their partnership, “There was always the feeling that someone was there if you needed it.” Paired with the gayest picture ever taken and then Paul singing “if I can do anything at all, let me help.” Thanks. I hate it.

John was so excited for New Orleans! What happened? I mean I have my theory based on May's book and the sudden shift in behavior. But it's pretty dark.

You know how crazy Paul is about John in interviews now? How he can't seem to keep John's name out of his mouth? John was worse in the seventies. He's promoting his Rock’n’Roll album, talking unprompted and romantically about how he met Paul, when the interviewer reminds him what relationship he's supposed to be romanticizing right now. So John remembers too and dedicates the album to Yoko who he's just got back together with.

Biconic quote.

Interviewer asks, after John's brought him up, if John's pleased with how well Paul's doing. John expresses his relief that Ringo has "found himself a niche" and then

I really do think that last bit sums up a big chunk of how John feels about Paul, and why he feels alright playing dirty against Paul or slagging Paul off. Why it would have been the furthest thing from his mind that Paul actually struggled or was insecure. Why Paul had to remind him, “I'm only a person like you, love.”

What an insane thing to think, let alone say. What if Julian had heard that? I'm pretty sure Julian and Paul weren't in contact, really at all, until the eighties, right? So John's doing better than he is at this point (I mean he's his dad, he should be). John is insecure about every possible thing and compares himself to Paul in every possible way.

Baby. He needed some serious help. The thing that sucks about being ahead of your time is that you also have to live in a world that's behind your needs.

And then. “There's always a friendly tv channel to turn to that's going to make you feel less alone.” I wonder if Paul “Call Me Back Again, John I know you're not that tired from the baby just let me in the fucking door” McCartney heard this? It's possible with how obsessive they were, but it's also impossible with how busy he kept himself.

Okay, here's the first story we've been missing about Paul experiencing negative emotions. And, of course, as always in this doc, it's paired perfectly with “Don't Let it Bring you Down” which is the musical mission statement of Paul's clenched-jawed smile philosophy.

"I tend to get a bit absolute in my statements." Yes, John. Yes you do. Another quote that Big Lennon fans should keep in mind.

John on the three weeks he took to decide if he wanted to continue the band after the first Hamburg trip: The others were mad because we could've been making money. Yeah, John, Paul suddenly had to work in a factory after he'd thrown away an educated, white-collar career (the first in his family) to be in your band. I'd be pissed too if you just didn't even bother to call. Anyway I just hate how casual John is about it. Someone who never had to worry about money is just never going to get that.

John doesn't even remember a ballpark number of how much they were making. Paul remembers exactly bragging to his professors that he was making fifteen a week in Hamburg. Sorry to go on and on about this right before Paris, but to me it's an important difference between them.

Anyway, the fact that Paris was more than just a vacation for them. The fact that – according to Stuart and John at least – they might not have come back. It's dizzying. They really thought about just running off together. I wonder what made them decide to come back and continue the band.

No offense if you do, but I don't personally believe in this stuff. What would the motivation have been for the tarot reader to tell him that? Either way, fuck him.

Gosh the live version of “Call Me Back Again”. You feel it, physically, how bad he wants this phonecall. And the desperation from such a successful man is fantastic. Literally, John, how did it feel to be the only man in the world that could get Paul McCartney to beg? “Pretty baby” “what can I do?” “Boohoohoo babe.” “I tried the operator, but I just can't get through.”

Reporter at the Wings over America tour: No John Lennon, no George Harrison, and no Ringo Starr, just Paul McCartney. And for everyone here tonight, that seemed to be plenty! Obviously he's loving this praise after all the negative press. Anyone would, and Paul needs it more than most people actually. But I bet part of him is like “stop. Don't say it like that, they already hate me enough as it is.”

How many times has John admitted that he finds Paul attractive? “It was no surprise, you know, when the kids – girls saw him, they go ‘ooh! Ooh!’ right away, you know?”

“I know it's true. It's all because of you.” Playing over this? Are you kidding me? Anyway I've never seen the picture version of this, so I thought I'd screenshot it.

But actually, in a way, the original written lyrics to Now and Then are less depressing than what he sang on the demo. “I know it's true, I'm still in love with you, and if I make it through, it's all because of you,” is obviously sad because they're both married to other people. But at least in that version, John's saying his own personal resilience to life's struggles comes from his relationship with Paul, which is nice. Whereas when John, who is sliding into a self-hating deep depression I'm comparing himself to Paul's phenomenal success, sings “it's all because of you” in a general sense, it almost feels like a callback to the ‘I'm shit and I couldn't do anything but be a Beatle (and ride Paul's boat)’ quote. Which is heartbreaking. I wish he could've recognized his own genius.

But yeah either way it's enough to make your heart heavy. If anyone needs a good cry, just go to the last five minutes of this. That should've been the now and then music video, but Paul's too scared of feelings. Which. You know. Considering how much it affects me, I can't even imagine how much it affects him. So he gets a pass.

“Why must we be alone? It's real love. It's real.”

[anama-cara]

Take care

Boston Era!Joel Miller x you

Part 2

Summary: You're a nurse working in the Boston QZ and when a handsome new patient comes in you just can't help yourself. Word count: 1.4k

Warnings:  Dead Dove Do Not Eat, +18 minors dni, handjob, somnophilia, noncon. reader has no physical descriptions such as skin color or body type

You fucking hate it here- you hate Boston, hate FEDRA, hate your job, hate the world, hate your life. You need some excitement, something new. You're working as a nurse in a dirty QZ hospital. It's such a fucking joke. The hospital (if you can even really call it that) looks like an abandoned building. The lights flicker, the glass windows are shattered, the floor is always covered in grime, some of the brick walls are even crumbling in the front. Whenever a surgery needs to be done they just dip the instruments in a bucket of alcohol, theres no such thing as a sterile procedure anymore. There aren't enough supplies or staff left to properly function as a real hospital. There are only a few doctors for a ton of patients, some people that come in don't even get seen by a doctor. So that's where you come in, the nurses. You aren't even an actual nurse, you've never been formally trained. Before the outbreak you were a radiology tech, and once the QZ was set up they went around asking for anyone who was in the medical field. You volunteered, but you had no idea it'd be for a job like this. They just threw you to the wolves and over the years you've improvised and learned what works. It was messy in the beginning, you were scrambling and scared and had breakdowns almost daily. But now you feel like a hardened nurse, numb to most things. 

You're sitting in the "break room" munching on some jerky and absentmindedly kicking at a smudge mark on the ground with your boot. 

There's a flurry of commotion the hallway and the door flies open. 

"Jen?"

Your friend pokes her head in. "Oh good you're here, come on, we've got an intake. Male in late 40s, early 50s. Stab wound. "

"Is the doc coming to take a look?"

"Nope. Busy. It's on you."

"Me? He's not my patient and I'm supposed to be on break."

She laughs. "Yeah sorry. I would. You know I would. But my plate is full. I got a gun shot wound that's infected that's taking all my time. I wouldn't throw you this one if I didn't know you can handle it."

"Of course Jen. I got your back." You're following her down the hall rushing towards the emergency entrance.

"Thanks. Two guys brought him in." She nods to a room at the end of the hall on the left. 

"OK thanks Jen." You give her a nod and head towards your newest patient as she bustles down the corridor. 

"Hello I'm- shit." This is the kinda shit you're getting sick and tired of. The men just dumped him and left. Your patient is fully unconscious, laying flat on his back on the exam table, wound still bleeding. This guy needs a doctor, but you're all there is. You sprint for the supplies closet, grabbing alcohol wipes, gauze and suturing materials. With your arms full you rush back to the room. Good thing he's unconscious, you think, because this is going to hurt and the hospital ran out of pain meds long ago. 

You tug and rip his flannel shirt open, making the buttons pop off. You're tearing open packets of gauze and trying to clean his wound so you can get a good look at the entry point. Finally after wiping away the dried and fresh blood you get a clean view. You begin disinfecting. There's an open gash about four inches long running underneath his ribs on the right side.

You blow out a deep breath, pull up a chair and get to work closing the laceration. 

--

An hour later you push yourself up, set your instruments aside, wipe the sweat from your brow and look over the stitches. Given the circumstances its looks pretty darn good, you're actually proud of yourself. 

You look your patient over, eyes moving past his wound and taking him wholly in for the first time. 

He's probably in his early 50s, patchy graying beard, tan skin, ruffled hair. His flannel shirt you ripped open reveals his hard chest and soft tummy. You study his sleeping face, the creases in his brow and the hard angles of his jaw and nose. He's undeniably handsome.

You notice the blood on his flannel and you sigh as you stand up from your stool. You stretch, back aching after leaning over him to sew his wound. You reach for his flannel and begin tugging his limp arms out of the sleeves. You pull the bloody shirt out from underneath him and toss it on a nearby table. His arms are muscular and you notice a few scars here and there. Your hand reaches out on its own accord to lightly trace over a jagged white line on his bicep. He twitches at your touch and your hand quickly pulls away. 

You move down to his jeans. After unbuckling his belt you slowly pull them down, trying to be as gentle as possible. Now that the immediate danger of the bleeding stab wound has been dealt with you need to do a physical exam and make sure he has no injuries elsewhere. You toss his pants on the table and walk back to your patient, examining every inch of his beautifully tanned skin. You can get him a hospital gown later. Your hand traces up his leg and you watch it as it moves over his dark hair, over his knee and rests on his thigh at the edge of his boxers. You shift your gaze higher and to your surprise you see his hardened bulge pushing against his boxers. You gulp and your hand lightly glides up and down his inner thigh, tracing along his muscle. You shoot a glance up to his face - he's still out. You look at the closed door and try to listen. You don't hear anyone in the hallway. The only other nurse on duty in your unit of the hospital is Jen and she's definitely still occupied with that gunshot wound...

You reach up and with one hand you pull the waistband and his boxers out while your other hand slips underneath, wrapping around his hard cock. His cock twitches when you first touch him and you smile. You slowly move your hand all the way down, feeling the full length of him. Damn he's got a nice one. You swallow the spit that's pooling in your mouth. You drag your hand back up and your thumb runs through his slit and circles around the head. You look at Joel's face again. He's still completely out but you think his brow looks more furrowed and his mouth a little more opened. You continue to gaze up at him as you twirl around his head, feeling precum beginning to bead at his tip. You swipe and gather it on your index finger before popping it in your mouth. Salty and warm and deliciously masculine. You pull your finger out and hold up your hand as you tounge it, licking your palm and fingers.

Your grab his cock again, pumping him faster now as your hand glides over his warm smooth skin. You hum to yourself as you work. 

Minutes later and you feel him tightening. You quickly grab a cloth from the table and tuck it under his boxers just in time. He erupts under your hand, ribbons of messy cum spilling into the cloth. When he's done your pull the cloth out and wrap it up neatly, keeping everything it caught tucked into the middle. Joel's eyelids flutter and he makes a groaning noise. He'll be waking up soon. You place the dirty cloth in the laundry bag and step into the hallway to grab a patient gown from the clean linen cart. You wash off your sticky hand and quickly dress him. You're tidying up your instruments when Joel finally wakes up, groaning as he tries to sit. 

"Woah mister careful, you got a pretty good gash in your abdomen there. Easy. Just relax. You're in the hospital now. I'll take good care of you." 

You smile pleasantly at him. 

[sleepy0s]

Such a strange man

Grian: “I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy” I would. Pussy.

Grian: “I’m not gonna sink to their level” I will. Coward.

Grian: “I’m the bigger person” I’m 150cm tall give me the gun bitch.

GRAIANN

Hi guys :> Felt like being nice, have a long one! (Long for my standards lol)

1399  Words

~~~

Look, growing up on the streets does a lot to a man you know? Grian was never taught that ‘two wrongs don’t make a right’ No, no he was taught ‘You want something, take it.’. Like seriously, man has no morals.  Of Course... The hermits don’t actually know much about his past- Even Pearl HIS SISTER doesn’t know more than everyone else.

Most strangers look at Grian and see a cute, small avian who wouldn’t hurt a fly when in reality he is an eldritch being who grew up in mafias and will not hesitate to pull a gun on you. (Xisuma keeps trying to take them off him but he just keeps showing up with more???) This leads to some interesting experiences. For everyone else, not Grian.

The ‘first’ one.

~~~

It took Grian some time to open up when he joined hermitcraft (Yk, he had just spent the last couple of years locked in a cage in the end dimension lol) So, for the first month or three everyone assumed he was some nice parrot hybrid who was just shy. He didn’t talk in meetings and usually, you had to find him if you wanted to hang out. Even after he had come out of his shell he was still polite and kind (He is still kind but like, more open and friendly) 

Anyway, getting distracted. 

~~~

Xisuma had just finished talking about the important stuff, and everyone was chatting away. The hermits would probably stay in the meeting room for a while longer- the area was comfy.

Around half an hour into the hangout someone had pulled up a video on their comm of a server being destroyed whilst a player was still inside, which had become the current topic. “I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy..” Tango mumbled, the blaze hybrid looked horrified with one hand covering his face as he tried to look away.

Now, Grian had been on a server whilst it was being destroyed, multiple actually in his many attempts at escaping so he was fully aware of the agony and pain someone felt when being essentially erased from existence. He also had many enemies, which he would wish this upon, but his worst enemy? Without a doubt, Sam Gladiator. The bunny hybrid that had tortured his childhood, and god he would probably laugh if he got to watch Sam go through that torture.

Unknowingly, Grian had started laughing to himself just at the thought, which meant some people were looking at him weirdly. “Grian? Why are you laughing?” Xisuma asked.  

“Wha- nothing- nothing I was just imagining something.” He had stopped laughing but still had a smile on his face. “I would like- totally wish that upon my worst enemy.” He added simply, sitting up in his chair.

The trip to the main hub.

Some of the hermits had decided to go on a little trip to the main hub for shopping purposes. The small group included; Xisuma (He wasn’t letting them go off on their own.) Doc, Gem, Pearl, Scar and Grian. And it was going well. They each had budgets that they couldn’t go over and everyone had their own bags full of materials. 

They had been told to meet up at the portal at 3 pm, and it was currently 2:55, and the only person not at the portal was Pearl. Oh- wait no Xisuma can see her. The Moth hybrid was rushing down the street, trying to get to them on time. “I’m not late yet- I’m not late- Ouch!” She had run head first into some older-looking man, luckily she hadn’t dropped anything.

“I'm sorry- I wasn’t looking where I was going! Are you okay?” She apologized, but when she looked up she was slightly shocked by the look on the man's face which was rage and disgust. “Ugh. Hybrids ruining everything, I'm going to be late for my meeting now because of you.” The man spat at her, before shoving her and causing her to drop everything.

Grian immediately ran over to his sister's side to help pick everything up, as with the others. “Are you just going to let him do that? Aren’t you going to do anything?” Grian asked as he handed her the stuff. 

“No, I’m not going to sink to his level,” Pearl responded, but it was obvious she was upset. And look, he knew his sister could handle herself but if she was too shy to stand up for herself in public then he would do it for her. That was one thing he had learnt growing up as a hybrid, if you want to be respected then you can’t play nice. “Grian- Don’t!”

It was too late, he had stormed up to the man and was tapping him on the shoulder.  “Sir? Sir. Sir!!!” He spoke, continuing to tap the man until he turned around. “What? I don’t have time for this.”

Grian didn’t look bothered by the man’s attitude, still smiling. “I would like you to apologize to my sister.” 

The man laughed, “You think you can get me to apologize? No.” And Grian’s attitude switched, kicking him in the crotch and grabbing his collar, his face emotionless as he stared into his eyes. “It wasn’t a question. Now, Apologize before I pull my gun out.” He whispered into his ear, before letting go of him.

“Yep- yep understood!” He whimpered, rushing over to Pearl and continuously bowing. “I’m sorry for using such language- are you okay? Please be okay or he might kill me.” 

The Intruder!

Hermitcraft is famous for being a very safe server, with some of the strongest protections. So, it’s very unlikely that someone can break in. Unlikely, but not impossible. 

So, imagine everyone’s surprise when they wake up at 2 am with their comms ringing alarms that there had been a breach in security and that they all had to go to spawn. So, all 25 or so hermits had met up at spawn. Grumpy, cold and tired. 

“Okay, so everyone is here yes?” Xisuma called out from the dirt pillar he had just built, “So.. uhm I’m not sure how to say this but there is an intruder on the server.” This, immediately caused an outburst among everyone, beginning to talk and whisper, despite Xisuma’s attempts to get everyone to listen

“SHUSH!” Doc screamed at the group, causing everyone to immediately go silent.

“Uh- thank you Doc.” Xisuma coughed, “So, we are all going to go into groups and find the intruder, thank you.”

The groups were decided quickly, and Xisuma ended up with Grian, Pearl, Scar and Mumbo. Everyone was on call, the comms acting as a radio. Xisuma’s group was near Grian’s base, walking through the trees behind the large rocks (Season 9) when Mumbo let out a yell. “Mumbo! What’s wrong- Oh.” Pearl ran over only to find Mumbo being held at gunpoint. 

Grian, immediately reached for his own gun only to find Xisuma holding it, “Grian, be the bigger person.” Now, Xisuma was probably about to shoot himself in the face because he had never held a gun before so it would probably be safer to give Grian the gun (God thought I’d never write that) But also, Grian is a tiny guy.

“Xisuma, respectfully I am 5 foot give me the bloody gun.” He responded calmly, in a hushed voice so the intruder wouldn’t notice that they also had a weapon. “It’s him or Mumbo X, what are you gonna choose?” 

“Oh god fine.” Grian really was very persuasive. The second the gun was back in his hands Grian was gone, completely disappeared into the trees.

“HAH! What are you gonna do? You call for help and I’ll shoot this... Strangely tall man.” The intruder threatened, seeming much too proud. “Now- I, Oh what do I want? I didn’t think I’d get this far..” Scar and Pearl had attempted to negotiate with the man.

“OH! I know- HEY!?” He didn’t get to put in his request as he got tackled from behind and didn’t have time to shoot Mumbo as he felt the cold feeling of a gun at his own neck.

Grian was sitting on top of the man, a scary smile on his face and a gun aimed at his neck and he genuinely looked excited at the chance he might get to shoot him. 

[morgana-larkin]

Love your writing and if you have time I have a prompt: I would love to read a Mel x reader soulmates story and can be any type of soulmate: tattoo on the body with words, marks when they touch each other, one feels there pain or any other type. Thank you ❤️

I loved this prompt! I always have a soft spot for soulmate prompts and fics. I went with 2 different ideas that I like. A soulmate counter, that keeps going up with every interaction and feeling a pull when you touch for the first time. And I’m sorry in advanced, it has smut and most of them this week more than likely will as I’m starting my period in a week so my hormones are everywhere right now. Anyway not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

On another note: if anyone is ever curious about what fics are on my list, let me know and I’ll post it. I noticed how many people liked when I posted the Google docs one and I was surprised. Anyway, I wish you all luck with my period driven fics this week.

It Starts With Zero

Warnings: smut, fluff

Words: 3.6k

Melissa is in bed staring at the inside of her wrist. They say when your soulmate is born, then a 0 will appear on your right wrist. If you don’t have a soulmate then one will never appear. If you’re born right away with a 0, that means your soulmate is already born. When you meet your soulmate, that 0 changes to a 1, and keeps going up every time you interact with them. The first time you and your soulmate touch each other, you feel a pull. When you and your soulmate fall in love, the number on your wrist changes to a heart.

Melissa is 22 and is set to marry Joe tomorrow. Her wrist is empty, which means that her soulmate isn’t born or she doesn’t have one. Joe doesn’t have one either, so naturally she and Joe decided to marry each other.

So here she is, in bed, staring at her blank wrist. She’s about to tear her eyes away and go to sleep when all of a sudden, a 0 appears on her wrist. Melissa freezes and her eyes widen. She has a soulmate and they were just born. That means her soulmate is out there and they’re 22 years apart. She decides to keep quiet and just cover up her wrist as she has to get married tomorrow.

*25 years later*

You walk in the doors to Abbott. You were so excited, you’ve been a sub for a couple years and then you saw a full time teaching position at Abbott. You immediately applied and you got it.

You get your teaching badge and classroom key and Ava brings you to the break room to introduce you to the other teachers there. You step in with her as Ava introduces you and 2 teachers immediately come barrelling at you and they introduce themselves.

“Hi I’m Janine, nice to meet you!”

“Pleasure to meet you y/n, I’m Jacob.” You shake hands with both of them and they ask you a couple questions before they go and sit down again. You look over to your right a bit and that’s when you see her, all red hair and green eyes.

You go up to the table and you introduce yourself and hold up a hand for her to shake but she just stares at you unimpressed.

“I don’t interact with newbies.” She says. The teacher beside her immediately introduces herself and you shake hands with her.

“Hi I’m Barb.” She says.

“Pleasure to meet you Barb.” You tell her. Ava then escorts you to your classroom. You’re so overwhelmed for most of the day from meeting a bunch of the teachers there that you didn’t notice that your wrist has a 1 on it now. Well you don’t notice until the end of the school day.

Melissa’s wrist also changed to a 1 and Barb notices as soon as you left the break room.

“Melissa, your wrist.” She says and Melissa looks at her wrist and sure enough there was now a 1 there and she gasps. Barb’s wrist has a heart as she and Gerald were soulmates and are in love.

The trio heard the conversation and walk over to the table to look at Melissa’s wrist.

“Omg Melissa, you met your soulmate!” Janine says excitedly.

“When did it appear?” Jacob asks.

“I don’t know. It wasn’t there last night.” Melissa says shocked.

“That means that you met them today!” Janine says. “Who have you interacted with today that you haven’t before?”

Melissa thinks, she didn’t go anywhere today, just straight to the school. She looks up to where you were standing and doesn’t respond. She got her soulmate mark 25 years ago and you look to be around that age. You were also the only new person she interacted with today. Barb looks to what she’s looking at but doesn’t see anything, then it clicks. “Is it the new teacher?” Barb asks and Melissa looks at her, still stunned.

“I- I don’t know.” Melissa says.

“When did you get your soulmate mark?” Gregory asks.

“25 years ago.” Melissa says. “The night before my wedding to Joe.” Melissa mutters and they all gasp as they heard it.

“Oh I could find out how old she is for you.” Janine offers.

Melissa looks at Janine and nods. “Ok ya, thank you.” Melissa tells her and Janine smiles softly at her.

So before the assembly starts, Janine sits down next to you while everyone else sits across the room to keep their distance.

“So is this your first full time teaching job?” She asks you.

“Ya, I got my teaching licence a couple years ago and was subbing until now.” You reply and Janine smiles.

“So you’re what? 25? 26?” She asks and you look at her confused.

“I just turned 25 a couple months ago.” And Janine grins but you look at her even more confused.

“Sorry, just I love birthdays. Happy belated birthday!” She says and you smile and thank her.

Janine sits there and keeps asking you questions. The whole time knowing that Melissa got married 25 years and a couple months ago.

After lunch, Janine goes to Melissa’s classroom to tell her what she found out. Turns out, Barb, Jacob and Gregory were there as well, all wanting to know. Janine closes the door and walks over to where they are in the middle of the classroom, all sitting on desks.

“What did you find out dear?” Barb asks Janine and Melissa looks over at her scared.

“She just turned 25 a few months ago.” Janine starts and Melissa looks shocked.

“Do you know her birthday day?” Melissa asks and Janine nods.

“June 15.” Janine says and Melissa covers her mouth.

“I got married to Joe on June 16.” She says as it hits her. You were her soulmate. Melissa’s eyes got watery and Barb hugs her while the others try to comfort her the best they can.

At the end of the day, you look at your classroom and sigh. You did a lot of work today and you still have the rest of the week to get ready for the students before they arrive next Monday.

You leave and lock your classroom. As you lock it, you see your wrist and realise that there’s a 1 there instead of a 0 like there was this morning. Does that mean that your soulmate is a teacher? But then realised you met like 20 teachers today and you shook hands with 15 of them and didn’t feel a pull. All of them are older than you so it could be any of the 5 that you didn’t shake hands with. You’re so busy looking at your wrist that you don’t realise that Melissa is looking at you from down the hall. She knows you’re her soulmate but then she sees that you don’t know who your soulmate is yet. She walks away to her car and you hear her heels click and you look up at the sound and see Melissa down the hall, walking away to the parking lot. You briefly wonder if it’s her. You didn’t shake her hand today and you interacted with her.

The next day you wander in and you ask Ava for your help to find your soulmate. She immediately agrees and shows you last year’s yearbook. You point to the 5 teachers that you met yesterday but didn’t shake hands with them. The last one you get too is Melissa and you point to her. Ava gives you a look but doesn’t say anything, she just writes Melissa’s name down.

Ava starts to bring you to the teachers to figure out who your soulmate could be. You start talking to them and for the first 3, the 1 on your wrist doesn’t change. She took you to the 4th and take a deep breath, you realise if this one doesn’t change then you think you know exactly who it is. You interact with the fourth one and while you get along with her, the 1 on your wrist remains.

“Ok, the last one is Melissa.” Ava says and begins to walk you to Melissa’s classroom.

Melissa saw you and Ava walking around, she wonders if Ava is bringing you around to meet teachers or to find your soulmate. Then when she puts the chalk back down after writing ‘welcome back’ on the chalkboard, she dusts her hands off, then looks up and sees the two of you at her doorway.

“Can I help you Coleman?” She asks Ava then looks at you.

“Nope, just showing Newbie here the teachers.” Ava says and pats your head. You look offended at her patting your head and glare at her. Melissa sees and has a small smile on her face before frowning again.

“Well I told her yesterday that I don’t really interact with newbies.” Melissa tells Ava. She doesn’t want to interact with you, fearing that 1 will change to a 2. She’s about 99% sure it’s you but it changing to a 2 will make it 100%.

You realise that Melissa isn’t going to talk to you and realise if you want to know then you’ll have to take the chance.

“The newbie is standing right here and can hear you.” You tell her and cross your arms. She looks at you surprised because you just interacted with her, she didn’t expect you too. She glances at her wrist briefly and sees a 2. Crap!

Melissa quickly wonders if she should get to know you or just stick to not getting to know the newbies until a year later like all the others. But then quickly thinks that you’re not everyone else, you’re her soulmate. And that makes her freeze, you’re her soulmate and you’re standing right there looking at her.

You look at her surprised reaction and you don’t see the 2 on your wrist as you crossed your arms.

“Sorry.” Is all she says. You nod then uncross your arms and you quickly glance at your wrist and see a 2. You do a double take and freeze, looking at your wrist. Ava sees the 2 and smirks then looks up and sees Melissa looking at you then down at the ground.

‘Oh’ Ava thinks. Melissa already knows. “Well this was fun but I got people to influence.” Ava says then quickly leaves, leaving you and Melissa in the classroom.

You and Melissa stare at each other in the eyes for a second.

“Well I guess I should go.” You say nervously and turn to walk out.

“Wait!” Melissa says and you turn around. Melissa walks over to you and holds out a hand for you to shake. “Welcome to Abbott.” She tells you with a smile.

You glance at her and think of how pretty she is when she smiles. You then smile back at her and shake her hand.

The moment you put your hand in hers, you both felt it. The pull in your heart. Melissa feels it too and she quickly lets go of your hand. She realises you could probably feel it too and she shouldn’t have offered a handshake.

You look up at her after she yanks her hand away. “Alright well, nice meeting you kid but I got a classroom and a school year to get ready.” She says and turns around and starts to walk away to her desk.

“You’re my soulmate.” You say and she freezes and doesn’t turn around. “You know that though, don’t you?” You say and at that she turns around.

“Look kid, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She says and you walk towards her. You stand in front of her and take her right arm and move it to see her wrist. Sure enough there was a 2 there just like on yours and you show her your wrist with the 2 as well.

“I felt it when we shook hands, the pull that everyone talks about. It felt like my heart did a flip.” You say and a tear falls down her cheek. “Hey, why are you crying?” You ask her confused.

“You’re right, I know it already. From the moment we met yesterday.” She says to you and you drop her wrist gently. “The 0 didn’t appear until the night before my wedding. I still got married and then I hid my wrist for 10 years until Joe finally saw it and then we got divorced.” She tells you and you finally realise why she’s crying. She’s scared, actually no, she’s terrified. “I know you’re 22 years younger than me. I knew that when the 0 appeared 25 years ago. But what if you don’t want someone 22 years older than you?” She says and you look in her eyes and tuck a lock of hair behind her ear.

“You’re my soulmate for a reason, Melissa.” You tell her and she looks into your eyes. You saying her name felt different than when other people say it. With you, it felt right. Like her name was meant for you to say it. “I don’t care how much older you are. When I first saw you yesterday, before I knew that you might be my soulmate, I thought you looked beautiful.” You tell her and she smiles a bit at that and has watery eyes. “Would you like to go on a date with me?” You asked her and she looked stunned then smiled and nodded.

“Yes, I would love to.” She says and you beam.

“Great! How does this Saturday sound?”

“It sounds perfect.” She says and gives you a soft smile.

On Saturday, Melissa picks you up and brings you to her house and cooks for you. The two of you have been talking to each other throughout the week and getting to know each other. You glanced at your wrist when you were getting ready for the date and it said 26. 26 times you two interacted this week and you smiled.

After you two ate what she cooked (which tasted like heaven), you sat on her couch and you saw faint lines of a heart around the number on your wrist. You two were falling in love. Melissa puts a finger on your chin and gets you to look at her and you blush. Melissa saw the heart on her wrist earlier and she smiled when she saw it. When you look up at her, you lock eyes and then you both lean forward and kiss.

To Melissa, the kiss felt different than it did with Joe. When she kissed Joe it was nice but something was always off. But kissing you, nothing felt off, it felt good, it felt right. You both pull away and just stare at each other and smiled.

The rest of the week went by quickly. You got to greet your students and their parents and met more teachers, you were loving your job. You and Melissa kept talking throughout the week and you were both loving it. She gave you her phone number last week so you wouldn’t have to be apart if one of you wanted to talk to the other.

The next Saturday, you two had another date and you went to her house again. You two were talking while she was cooking. At one point you just stare and watch her in her element and she smiled when she caught you staring.

“Whatcha looking at?” She asked you.

“You.” You simply said and she blushed. “You look stunning.” You said and you had a big smile and a blush on your face.

“Thank you hon, you look stunning too.” She replied back to you with. You notice how the faint heart was more noticeable this time.

You both sat on the couch again and you both leaned forward and kissed. Only this time, neither of you pulled away. You scooted closer to her and she held on your hips while you cupped her cheek. It got more heated and you had both hands in her hair, and hers moved up to your upper back just under your shoulder blades.

You moaned into the kiss and Melissa smirked. She then moved a knee up to be on the couch and turned more to you. She then gently kept leaning forward, pushing you back, but giving you the option to stop if you wanted.

You didn’t stop her, you knew what she wanted and you wanted her as well. Melissa was on top of you on the couch and you were still making out with her. You then moved your hands down her body and slipped them under her shirt. You were roaming your hands all around her stomach, hips and back and you moaned again. This made Melissa feel good, you haven’t even touched her chest and you were already enjoying her body.

Melissa had one hand on the arm of the couch to keep herself up a bit to not put all her weight on you. You then started pulling her shirt up and she shifted her body so her knees are beside you and you’re able to pull her shirt off without her crushing you.

You break apart to lift her shirt off and you stare at her. Melissa was self conscious for a second. She knows you’re aware that she's 47, and she thinks that her body looks like it’s seen better days, and she’s definitely not a thin skinny woman.

All her doubts fade away however when you stare and run your hands all over her again and smile. “You’re so beautiful, inside and out. Your skin is so soft and so much to touch.” You tell her and she smiles.

“So you’re alright with the fact that I’m not skinny?” She says and you look taken aback.

“What? You got amazing hips, thighs for days, and your stomach is incredible. You're curvy and I prefer that more than those stick girls. You have the body of a woman and I love it.” You tell her and she blushes. She goes back to making out with you and she unclips her bra when you don’t and she gets impatient. You giggle at her actions and take the bra off after she unclips it and you don’t stop kissing her to look at her chest. Melissa gets confused about that. 3 thoughts run through her head. One: either you don’t care much about breasts so you’re not bothering. 2: you don’t like what you saw of her chest already and would rather prefer kissing her instead of seeing her breasts. And 3 (probably most unlikely, Melissa thinks): you’re so into the kiss that you forgot to look or you don’t want to pull away cause you love kissing her.

Her thoughts get interrupted when you cup her breasts and moan into the kiss. You pull away and look at her chest. “They’re perfect and so beautiful.” You tell her and you’re showering her with compliments and she’s not used to that. She wants to kiss you again but then you pull her up a bit then back down and wrap a nipple around your lips and you suck. Melissa puts both her hands on the arm of the couch to stabilise herself from the pleasure and she starts grinding her hips. You pull back and Melissa wants to pull your shirt up but forgets to pay attention to where she puts her knee and her legs slips and she falls off the couch.

“Woah!” She says and lands on her back. You turn to her and glance down.

“You alright?” You ask her and she nods with a pout. After you know she’s ok, you try really hard to suppress a giggle. But after she glances at you with an arched eyebrow after she sees you suppressing a laugh, you can’t help it and begin laughing. Melissa sits up and leans her forearms on the couch and sits on her knees.

“So me falling off the couch is funny to you? Hmm” she asks and you nod and giggle. Melissa’s response to that was to take off all your clothes and dive her mouth to your core and you gasp. She ends up putting her hands on your boobs and plays with them while sucking your clit. You end up bucking your hips too much that she has to pin you down instead and continues sucking your clit until you come. She stands up and sees your blissed out face and she takes her pants and underwear off. She then sits on your thigh and starts grinding on it. You end up grabbing her hips and help her but then when you’re fully recovered from your orgasm, you shift her off your thigh so her pussy is between your legs.

You stick a finger in her entrance and a thumb on her clit and you finger her and rub her clit at the same time and it doesn’t take long for her to come.

The two of you just stare at each other and smile and neither of you notice that the number on your wrist has vanished and there’s a full heart in its place.

“I love you Melissa.” You say while moving a piece of hair out of her face and you cup her cheek. She leans into your touch and hums.

“I love you too y/n.” She says softly and a soft smile on her face. Melissa is so happy at that moment, she had to wait 47 years but she thinks it was worth it if she gets to wake up next to you and love you for the rest of her life.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

@idonothingalldays-blog

@sexysapphicshopowner

@dvrkhcld

@lilfartbox1

Let me know if you wish to be added!

[loubouskz]

take care of you

lee felix x fem!reader

description: you keep going on and on about how boring sex is and that something is missing. and like any your best friend, he offers to help you find out.

warning: SMUT! bestfriends to lovers, unprotected piv sex, cunniligus, dirty talk, praising kink, minor degrading kink, breeding kink, aftercare and cuddles. if I missed anything let me know

wc: 2.6k

a/n: I finally got this done! I had to borrow a laptop. I found my old chromebook but couldn't find the charger for it so I have to order a new one and wait for it to come in😭😭 I wanna be able to finish writing my stories that are just sitting in my google docs, collecting dust. anywho I hope you all enjoy this! I had so much fun writing this! feedback is greatly appreciated!

and my requests are open btw, so send in your requests! I'd be so happy to write something for you!🥰

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“wait really? ” felix asked, putting down his water bottle on his bed. “yeah.” I said with a straight face. “not even the last guy you were with? you were so loud.” felix said in fits of giggles. “just because I was loud does not mean it was that good. he start off strong, lack in the middle of it, and was okay during the climax- but all together..it just wasn’t that good.” I said, shugging my shoulders. “i feel like i haven’t had great sex. good, sure. I feel like there’s not enough in the middle of it. it’s just kind of boring sometimes.” I said. “what do you think is missing?” he asked, laying next to me. I sighed and just looked at the ceiling as i thought. “anything. a kink. dirty talk. hell I don’t know.” I said before looking at the time on my phone. “it’s 2:23am, I need to go to bed.” I said as I sat up. “alright.” felix said in a kind of distance voice. “you okay? was talking about my sex life weird to you? i’m sorry.” I said as I got up.

“no it doesn’t, we’ve been best friends for years y/n. i’ve heard your best and worst of everything. we talk about almost everything together, we know each others’ limits when we talk about things. you’re good.” felix said with a nice smile, but I could tell his mind was wandering. i huffed out a small chuckle and said goodnight to him as I made my way to his door.

“what if I help you out?” i heard him say really fast as my hand grabbed the door handle. I turned back to him to see him sat up and looking at his hands. felix, my best friend of eight years and roommate for three. and maybe my crush of four…is willing to have sex with me. i felt my brain short-circuit. this has to be a dream.

“what? can you explain more.” I asked, standing in place. “what if i help you find out what you’re missing during sex?” he asked, messing with his sleeves. I looked at him with wide eyes. “are you being forreal?” I asked him. “i wouldn’t have asked if i wasn’t being forreal y/n.” he answered, while laying back. “well i don’t know what to say felix.” i said. 

“well you don’t have to answer right away nor do you have to say yes at all. but you know i would take care of you.” felix said, locking his eyes with mine. that sentence alone: but you know i would take care of you, the way he said it, made my knees go weak. “don’t say it like that lix.” i said as i felt my insides twists in ways i never thought they would for my best friend. felix’s eyes scanned my body and saw how my body reacted to his words. he brought his eyes back up to mine but now they were much darker. full of lust clouding his chocolate brown eyes. felix slowly got out of his bed and walked over to me. “say it like what y/n?”

i didn’t know what to do, so i started backing up. felix just followed with a small smirk to his lips. i gasped as my back hit the wall. he placed one arm right above my head against the wall and the other on my waist. 

“you gonna answer me?” felix said, placing his head really close to mine. “say it like it’s true.” i said in a small voice. “well it might be, you won’t know if it doesn’t happen. right baby?” he asked, tilting his head to the side a bit. my eyes darted to his lips and back to his eyes. i nodded my head. i could feel my underwear becoming more and more slick. “i need you to be verbal with me.” he said, dragging his hand that was on my waist up to my face. he kept his hand on my cheek, stroking his thumb in a comforting way. my eyes fluttered at the sweet gesture. my mind quickly coming up with the answer. “take care of me felix, please.” i said, just barely above a whisper.

felix sucked in a breath of air and smiled at me, ‘is it okay if i kiss you now?” he asked. “yes.” i answered. felix slowly brought his lips to mine and kissed me. i closed my eyes as i felt his soft lips on mine, but it quickly ended by felix pulling back. “want more?” he asked. i nodded my head, too breathless to answer. felix leaned back in and i met him halfway, making him groan into the kiss. he put more pressure into the kiss, sliding his tongue on my bottom lip. i parted my lips to let him in. felix placed both his hands on my cheeks as i gripped the sides of his shirt. felix took his time exploring the inside of my mouth, like he was trying to memorize it. 

after our little makeout, felix pulled away slowly. both of our lips, red and swollen. felix placed his hands back on my waist as he kissed his way back my jaw to my neck. sucking hickeys all over, i moaned as he found my sweet spot. i ran my hands into his hair, pulling at it lightly. felix groaned as his hands made their way down, just above my shorts. he kissed my ear, “can i continue?” he asked in his deep voice. “yeah.” i said breathless. i held my breath as felix’s hand pushed its way past my shorts and underwear. he continued marking the other side of my neck as cupped my cunt.

“oh fuck baby, you’re already getting slick and wet for me.” he said, dragging his hand back and forth. he placed his fingers on my clit, drawing small circles. i head feel back against the wall, moans becoming louder and louder as he picked up the pace. “oh felix.” i moaned out. he lifted his head, looking at my face. ‘yeah baby. you like that?” he asked. “yes. need more,lix.” i whined. “what kind of more?” he asked, kissing the corners of my lips. “fingers. inside. please.” i answered, chasing his lips. “good girl.” he said, smashing his lips back on mine. he pushed carefully pushed two fingers inside of me. i gasped into the kiss. 

“are you going be good for with me y/n?” felix asked. i nodded my head, “faster please.” i said, felix did exactly what i asked for. curling his fingers every time he brought them down, hitting my clit every time. i breath quickened, chest heaving as i felt the pressure building to its max. “gonna let me see how pretty you look when cum all over my fingers.” he said. “yes.” i said through a broken moan, keeping my eyes on his as i felt the knot unravel. cumming all over his hand. “oh god felix!” i said as he guided through my orgasm. he slowly removed his hand out and placed his fingers in his mouth, eyes never leaving mine.my lips parted out of surprise.

“you taste heavenly.” felix said. “fuck me felix.” i said, pulling him by his pants. “really?” he asked. “yeah, like you mean it.” i said with my own smirk.

he grabbed the hem of my shirt, making sure it was okay to take it off first before it was removed. i was ready for bed so i didn’t have a bra on. felix kissed down my body as he made his way to the ground. he pushed my sweats and underwear down along with him. face to face with my bottom half. “god, you’re beautiful, you know that?” felix said with meaning that was more than just lust. i felt my heart skip a beat. i smiled at felix as he kissed my stomach. he stood back up and grabbed my hand.

we walked over back to the bed. “lay down.” felix said. i climbed back onto the bed and got comfortable. felix removed his clothes, but left his boxers on. he climbed on the bed, over top of me. “will you let me eat you out beautiful?” he asked, placing a soft kiss on my lips. i shuddered at his words but agreed none the less. felix took his time kissing down my body once again. he took my legs, pushing them up and on his shoulders. he marked up my inner left thigh before doing the same thing on the other side. 

felix blew on my clit before giving a long lick up my cunt. i arched back and rolled my hips, making him chuckle. he kissed my clit then proceeded to suck on it gently. he opened his mouth, rolling his tongue out licking up. basically making out with my lower lips. i clamped my thighs around his head, making him groan. the vibrations sending shocks up my body. “felix!” i moaned out, threading my fingers into his hair. felix brought one of his hands up to my entrance, pushing his fingers in. thrusting his fingers in and out plus the motions of his tongue on my clit made my climax come even faster than last time. “i’m gonna cum felix.” i said as my body started to shake. “cum for me.” he mumbled. felix flattened his tongue, pressing it on my clit and shaking his head side to side. my body arched one more time before my vision became white. “good girl.” he said, slowing down his fingers. felix removed his fingers and licked up my cum till i pushed his head away. felix sat up with his hands on my thighs, stroking them lightly. 

“still need more sweet girl?” he asked. i nodded my head, trying to reach for his underwear. felix quickly grabbed my hands and put them above my head. i looked at him with wide eyes. “ah ah ah. didn’t you say you wanted me to fuck you?” he asked. “yes i did.” i answered. “then roll over. hands and knees.” he said, letting go and sitting back up. i quickly turned over. as i steaded myself, i heard felix removing the last of his clothing. 

i felt felix grabbed my hips and pull them back. he guided one of his hands down my back and pressed down. i put my arms under my head and pushed my ass out, learning it a playful smack. i giggled a bit as felix pressed his body to mine. “ready for me to take of care you? fuck you how you need it?” felix asked, lining up his dick with my opening. a moan slipped pasted my lips. “yes please lixxie. fuck me, i need you so bad.” i whined out. felix pushed into me with a groan. “so fucking tight even after stretching you out.” he said as he bottomed out. i clenched around him, bucking my hips back. he drew his hips back and thrusted back in once and hard. my eyes rolled back at the feeling. “be patient.” he growled out, gripping my hips tightly. i huffed out and felix heard…and did not like that. he started snapping his hips at a decent hard pace. bringing a moan every time..

“i was trying to be nice, but all you wanted was to be full and fucked, right baby?” he said, not really asking. “just so fucking needy, didn’t even care who it was huh? not even if it was your best friend.” he continued. i whined into the pillow as i gripped the sheets. the sound my wet skin echoed throughout the room. good thing we didn’t have neighbors. “i bet you just want to be stuffed full of my cum.” he said, making me clench around him hard. “oh am i right?” he asked, laying his body on mine. grabbing my boobs with both his hands, pinching my nipples a bit. without pulling out or stopping, he lifted my body where my back was against his chest.

“answer y/n.” felix said, grinding his cock right on my g-spot. i cried out from the pleasure building up. “answer or i’m stopping right here.” he threatened. “yes! i want to be stuff full of your cum. so deep inside me.” i said with tears in my eyes. “yeah, so deep that i put a baby in you?” he asked as i cried out again. “you gonna be a good girl and take my cum like the little cumslut you are?” he asked as his thrusts started to become sloppy. “yes!” i said. i could barely hold my head in place as my body started to feel like jello. i turned my head to see him. “can i cum?” i asked as tears fell into my cheeks. “fuck. yeah go ahead a cum baby. cum with me.” he said, bringing one hand up to my face and holding my head in place so i didn’t look away. 

one final snap of his hips and my body spasmed from how hard my orgasm hit me. felix followed and stilled his hips, cumming deep inside. “shit.” he moaned out. he gave a few more shallow thrusts before completely stopping. felix buried his head into the crease of my neck and shoulder. i took a deep breath and brought my hand up to felix’s hair, combing it out of his face. he lifted his head up, kissing my shoulder. “you did so well y/n.” he said, still out of breath. i chuckled and smiled. “you did to lixxie.” i said. “let’s go get ourselves clean up, yeah?” he asked, i nodded.

felix helped me up off his softening dick and bed. after helping me to the bathroom, felix went to go pick up our clothes. after i did my business and got cleaned up, i heard a knock at the door. “yeah.” i said as i was washing my hands. felix popped his head in and handed me my clothes. “thank you.” i said grabbing them. i put my underwear on first then my hoodie, deciding not to put my sweats back on. “so we made kind of a mess on my bedsheets, is it alright if we go sleep in your room?” felix asked as blush forming across his cheeks. i laughed out and turned to him. “yeah felix. lets go.” i said as we left the sex-scented room.

we both climbed into bed and under the blanket. “i forget how much softer your bed is compared to mine.” felix said, snuggling in. “now i know you’re just saying that because your sleeping next to me because we have to exact same mattress.” i said, cuddling up to him. felix wrapped his arm around me and pulled me even closer. “yeah you’re right.” he said with a big smile. “can you turn off your side lamp now lixxie.” i said. “why? i won’t be able to see your cute face.” he said. “well this cute face needs her beauty sleep, so please turn off the light.” i said. “alright.” he said, quickly turning off the light and turning back to me. 

“so did you figure out what you were missing?” felix asked. i closed my eyes and nuzzled my head into his chest. i nodded my head, slowly falling asleep. “what was it?” he asked quietly, most likely sleep taking over his body as well. “you.” i whispered before fallen into a peaceful sleep. “good. i hoped that it was.” he said, kissing the top of my head. “took us long enough.” he said before fallen asleep.

[avatar-anna]

I feel like there has to be a time when the kids are so over being on your: they hate the moving, being woken up at ungodly hours, etc. So is there a point in the document where harry and y/n shed light on how touring is/can get to be too much for the kids?

Id love to see the kids interacting with the Pauli mitch and the rest of the band for the love on tour doc fic

Young dad!Harry x Young mom! Reader universe

Part 1 Part 2

bold and italics: camera directions, or what you would be seeing as a viewer of the documentary in person

just italics: interviewer questions, or people who are speaking off camera

Love on Tour: The Documentary, Part 3

In an interview room sits a man with long hair and a beard, The screen reads, “Mitch Rowland: guitarist and long-time friend of Harry Styles.”

“So, how long have you known Harry?”

“Forever it seems like,” Mitch says. “But a few years now.”

“And how long have you known Y/n and the kids?”

Mitch grins, as if recalling a memory. “Almost as long, but not quite.”

“Do you remember when you found out he had a family?”

“It was the most bizarre day,” Mitch says. “We were filming and recording a bunch of songs off the first album that was going to be in a documentary. No one knew at the time. I remember Y/n, Simone, and Collette being there but not really knowing why. I think I thought they were some executive’s family member who got invited to watch Harry record the songs or something like that. And H would go over every now and again to talk to Y/n, but they weren’t like, overly affectionate or anything, and obviously Y/n had her hands full with the baby. I thought he was just being nice.nBut then there was a point where the baby would not stop crying.”

Cut to Y/n’s interview.

“I was so embarrassed. It was the first time we got to do something like that. Me, Simone, and Collette, I mean. I was always so used to having to stay behind with the girls and hear about Harry’s day after the fact. But Jeff told Harry that we could come, that no one knew who we were anyway, and as long as we kept a low profile it would be fine, so I thought, why not, you know?”

Back to Mitch’s interview.

“And I could see Y/n in the corner bouncing the baby and doing whatever she could to get Collette to stop crying, and everyone was kind of aware of this young woman that no one really knew holding everything up. I was about to ask Harry if he knew Y/n, but he walked over to where she was, and they had a quick conversation before he took the baby and walked off while Y/n stayed with Simone. By that point Jeff had called for a fifteen-minute break, so everyone was splintering off but still kind of watching Harry walking around with some random woman’s baby.”

“Except it wasn’t a random baby, obviously.”

“Right, but at the time I remember giving Sarah a look. I think she put it together quicker than I did because she just kind of smiled and shook her head.”

Cut to an interview with a young woman who is introduced as, Sarah Jones: drummer and long time friend of Harry Styles.

“The baby immediately stopped crying when he picked her up,” she says like it’s obvious. “And you could tell that this was not Harry’s first time holding and comforting a baby. He looked like he’d been doing it for years. He looked completely at ease, and so did the baby.”

Back to Mitch’s interview.

“What was your initial reaction when you found out?”

“Shocked, I guess?” he says. “I didn’t really know him from One Direction, everything I knew about H was from our interactions together, and he didn’t let it slip. Not once. I remember asking him once if he was seeing anyone and he kind of just shrugged and was like, ‘I’m perfectly happy with the way my life is right now,’ which to me sounded like he was happy being single, but obviously he was raising a family when he wasn’t in the studio. I think he and Y/n would’ve just had Collette when we first met.”

Back to Harry’s interview.

“Did you plan on expanding your family after One Direction?”

Harry raises his brows at the camera. “I see were fishing for some steamy answers,” he jokes. “But honestly? Yeah. Y/n and I had a lot of long conversations about what we wanted. And I think in the back of our heads we wanted more, but weren't sure if it would be, like, allowed while I was still in the band. And we were still pretty young. I planned on taking some time off after the band, and we thought we were as ready as anyone could be. I mean, there’s no surprise like finding out your pregnant at seventeen, so…”

“What was that day recording in the studio like?”

“Collette was teething, which was why she was crying so much,” Harry explains. “And I knew that Jeff, Y/n, and I kind of had a plan for how the day would play out. There were cameras around for the album documentary, so we had to be careful, but everything was going well, but when I saw Y/n struggling, I knew I couldn’t just leave her to deal with Collette and Simone by herself when she was having a hard time. And, you know, that was my baby. Hate hearing her cry and all that.”

Then, he adds, "But before that I was over the moon that they were there. That I could show Simone what I did for work, even if it was from far away."

Back to Jeff’s interview.

“So what did you do?”

“I told everyone that Y/n was a friend of mine who was shadowing me for the day and her sitter canceled last minute. Somehow everyone bought it.”

“But how did Collette end up in the other documentary?”

“Harry and I both saw the final footage before it was released,” Jeff says. “But there was no indication that Harry was the father of the baby he was holding, and Y/n and Simone stayed out of the camera’s way. Collette was still so little, so she didn’t have any distinguishable features. It just looked like she was some random baby on set that day.”

Back to the interview with Simone, Collette, Maeve, and Julian.

“Collette, how does it feel to be in a documentary when you were just a baby?”

“I was a movie star!”

“Now we all get to be in a movie,” Maeve says. “Except for GiGi and Natalia. They’re too little.”

Back to Mitch.

“What it’s it like going on tour with Harry’s family?”

“Honestly? It’s fine. I think for obvious reasons, H has always been selective about who he travels with on tour, and not just for the sake of keeping his secrets. None of us are the ‘sex, drugs, rock and roll’ types, which helps when you’ve got little kids running around or riding on the bus with you.”

Cut to a montage of clips from Love on Tour: a rehearsal onstage with Mitch, Sarah, Pauli, Ny Oh, Harry, Simone, Collette, and the twins. Collette is on Pauli’s shoulders while Simone is sitting at the drum kit. Harry is holding Julian while Maeve clings to his leg; another clip of the Love Band on a tour bus with Simone and Collette playing a board game; Simone playing peek-a-boo with a baby boy and baby girl whose faces are blurred for privacy; Harry and Y/n asleep with all their kids on a hotel bed, a baby curled up on Harry’s chest; Mitch showing Julian how to play the guitar.

Harry’s Voiceover: Obviously it isn’t always easy traveling with five kids, one of them being a few months old. And there was the added risk with Covid and everything. There were times when we had some very…cranky children, especially the first few nights of tour when everyone was trying to get back into the swing of things and Y/n and me were trying to figure out a schedule that worked best for the kids.

Back to Y/n and Harry’s interview.

“How did you make it all work?”

“When I’m on my own, I usually just sleep on the tour bus, but a hotel room is a lot more practical when you’ve got the whole family,” Harry says.

“A suite,” Y/n says, almost dreamily. “The girls and Julian would share a room connected to ours, and Geneva would sleep with us, though by the time we woke up, there could be any number of new additions in our bed.”

“Then I would do school with Simone and Collette in the morning before I had to leave for rehearsals and take the twins with me while Y/n finished up the older girls’ schooling for the day, and then they would come meet us after. We’d have lunch together, and then Y/n would either go exploring with the kids or hang out at the venue or the hotel.”

“That was the plan we’d made, anyway,” Y/n says. “There was hardly a time where it went perfectly, but we made it work. And Sarah toured with her son, which made me feel a little less alone when Harry was off doing whatever and a little less crazy.”

Back to Sarah’s interview.

“I had one baby to look after and I was exhausted,” Sarah says. “Y/n and Harry had a baby and four other kids to look after. And Harry’s a great dad and everything and so good about doing his part, but Y/n really is a rockstar in her own right. She even helped me with my son a few times.”

Back to Harry and Y/n’s interview.

“Hear that?” Harry asks. “You’re a rockstar.”

“Oh hush,” she says to him. Then, to the camera, she says, “I don’t know a lot about music or performing, but I do know a thing or two about getting a baby to fall asleep.”

More clips of Love on Tour behind the scenes, but these seemed to be centered around Y/n. Her and Harry in the back of a tour bus while his head is in her lap as she runs a hand through his hair; Y/n in a dressing room with the Love Band laughing before they go onstage, Y/n reading to all the kids in a hotel room; driving a golf cart around a venue with Maeve, Julian, Simone, and Collette riding with her as she yells, “Thanks for the tip, Louis!” to the camera.

Back to Y/n’s solo interview.

“I tried to make it as fun as possible for them. It…Touring is not exactly Disneyland or the playground, but I did what I could. Golf carts, hotel pools, you name it. I think at one point a small slide got added to the crew’s packing list so that the kids could play when they were tired of watching rehearsals.”

“Would you have done anything differently?”

Y/n shakes her head. “No. I think going on tour as a family was the right thing for us at that time. Simone and Collette were doing full-time homeschool, and H and I would do some preschool lessons with the twins. Maybe some parents will judge me, but they’ve also never been in my position before. I know what’s best for my family, and at the start of the tour, staying together wasn’t up for debate.” 

“But you eventually went home.”

“Yes,” she says. “When it was time. Maeve and Julian were having a hard time with not having as consistent of a sleep schedule, getting everyone up and going early in the morning was difficult, but for me, the thing that bothered me the most was how isolated they were.”

“How do you mean?”

“Harry’s tour was obviously right at the start of when things were opening back up, and before that, it was just us in the house during lockdown,” Y/n says. “Not being around children your own age affects a child, and I wanted my kids to have friendships outside of each other, build social skills, that kind of thing, and they weren’t going to get that while touring with a bunch of adults.”

Back to Harry’s solo interview.

“How did you feel when Y/n and the kids went home?”

“Bummed, obviously,” Harry says, scratching at the stubble on his chin. “I agreed with Y/n when she said it was time to enroll Simone and Collette in school and find a preschool for the twins, and honestly, I didn’t want Y/n to stretch herself thin with having to homeschool the girls when she went back. She already does so much. I knew why they had to go back home, and I always want what’s best for my family, but after having them around on tour…It was an adjustment for sure.”

Back to Sarah’s interview.

“You would’ve thought Y/n had broken up with him,” she jokes. “He moped for weeks after Y/n took the kids home. He was the same as always onstage, but once a show ended, he was on the phone.”

Back to Harry’s interview.

“I never wanted to go back to the way things were before the pandemic,” he explains. “A big fear of mine was that we’d somehow end up back to that point.”

Back to Y/n’s interview.

“Did you worry about that too?”

“No, I didn’t,” she says. “I know how H felt about it, but I knew he would never make the same mistakes again, and I knew things were different this time. I wouldn't have given him a second chance if I didn't think things were actually going to change. We were on the same page for everything, and he would fly home between shows if he could swing it. He’d have to wear a mask at home the whole time, but he was willing.”

Back to Mitch’s interview.

“I think…I think he was fully aware of what he stood to lose this time around,” Mitch says. “I don’t pretend to know the inner workings of his relationship with Y/n, but I know both of them pretty well. Harry doesn’t take failure lightly and I don’t think Y/n would have let him fail a second time. And there was the other thing.”

“What other thing?”

“I’m not sure I should be the one to say.”

Back to Y/n’s interview.

“I got pregnant on tour. Did H already tell you that?”

Back to Harry’s interview.

“Didn’t you say you had a baby sleeping in your bed?”

Harry looks sheepish as he thinks about his answer. He plays with his bottom lip and avoids looking at the camera. He says, “I’m not going to tell you how or where it happened. That’s my wife!”

Harry laughs along with everyone behind the camera. As they all laugh, he tries to speak over them.

“I mean, I promised to be open, but not that open! This is a family show!”

Cut to a rehearsal of the second leg of Love on Tour (2023). The camera goes up to each member of the love band to ask a very serious question.

“Were you surprised when Harry told you Y/n was pregnant?”

“Uh…no,” Elin says. 

“You could definitely tell something was up,” Ny Oh says. “Harry was calling and texting whenever he wasn’t needed. And he was sometimes a little…high strung.”

“I would’ve put money on it,” Jeff says when Pauli tells him the question as he walks by.

Sarah shrugs as she says, “Y/n told me to keep an eye on Harry before she left, and before that, you could sense this energy between her and H. Like they had this big secret.”

“Secret? Yes. Big?” Mitch shrugs. “Eh. Like Sarah said, you could just kind of tell. And when they had moments alone together, they were giggling like idiots and being all...they were all over each other when the kids weren't looking. In a PG way,” he says, adding the last part as an afterthought.

Pauli says, “I may have heard some things that I maybe shouldn’t have as I was passing a concert bathroo—

The camera cuts off mid-sentence. More behind the scene clips play.

Harry’s Voiceover: The “love” in Love on Tour is broad. When I play a show, I want my fans to feel safe and loved, even if they might not feel that way in their day-to-day lives, in that space and time, they only need to feel love. But on a personal level, all my loves were on tour with me, and while I have loved touring before, it was different having them with me, even if it was short-lived. So calling the tour “Love on Tour” just made sense. There was lots of love to go around.

Back to Harry’s interview.

“And you made love on tour,” Y/n says off-camera.

Harry hangs his head and holds it in his hands. “Jesus Christ.”

The whole room erupts into laughter, including Harry, who still won’t show his face. When he eventually does, his face is bright red.

“A family show! This is a family show!” he insists, but everyone just keeps laughing off-camera. Shaking his head, he says, “Or is it? Now if you excuse me.”

Harry takes his mic off and stands up from his chair. The camera follows his movements as he walks over to where Y/n is still laughing, even when he picks her up and puts her over his shoulder to carry her out of the room. “It was a good joke!” she says, still mic’d up. Then the audio cuts and the screen cuts out like a wink.

[another-goblin]

Meeting the family

Just some Raturine ideas (it could have been a fic if I could write) Part 1. Aventurine takes Ratio with him to Sigonia-IV (a bit sad). Part 2. Ratio retaliates (less sad).

Part 1. On Penacony, Aventurine was forced to confront his tragic past in a rather abrupt and traumatic way. He now feels that, to make some semblance of peace with it, he has to revisit Sigonia-IV after all these years and face it on his terms. The problem is, he's not sure he'll ever be strong enough to do it alone.

Luckily, there is Ratio. Probably. They have been in a weird sort of relationship for months now. They clearly enjoy spending time together, but they'd rather die than talk about their true feelings. Both are stumped by overanalyzing this situation. For Ratio it's "Yes, he's being playful and charming with me, but I saw him act the same way with other people, he's probably just toying with me, I shouldn't embarrass myself by showing my true feelings." And for Aventurine: "Does he care for me in a special way, or is it just a part of his "I'll keep the damn gambler safe and emotionally stable because I'm a decent person" routine, am I a burden to him, is he deliberately being emotianally distant with me or is it just how he normally is?, I know that I'll never be able to tell him how I actually feel because he won't believe me, he'll think that I mock him, it'll just drive him away."

So, as a last resort gamble, he tells Ratio, in the most nonchalant way possible, that he's going to visit Sigonia, and Ratio can go with him if he wants. He fully expects to hear an indifferent "Why are you telling me this, why would you expect me to go with you?". Instead, Ratio is in shock.

He did do some research on Aventurine's past. So he realizes immediately how important this trip should be for Aventurine, and how real and vulnerable he's being right now, and what that offer means for their relationship. It's much more revealing than any confession Aventurine might have made. He realizes that it's also Aventurine's subtle, desperate test for Ratio's true feelings. So he doesn't even bother to say yes, he goes directly to planning.

They finally end up going to Sigonia. Imagine the most tragic road trip ever. "In this valley, most of my people were brutally massacred." "Behind that rock my mother died in my arms,"  "And that's where I said goodbye to my sister forever,"  "This is where I've been cought", "Over there are the ruins of the town where they sold me into slavery." Meanwhile, Ratio is quietly panicking: ("Veritas, you stupidest person ever, say something reassuring. Hold his hand. Do something")

At the end of the day, he would end up awkwardly putting his hand around Aventurine's shoulders. They'd just silently sit like this looking at the sunset.

(at first it ended here but then I decided to lighten the mood, so…)

Part 2. After that, Ratio would realize that it's time for Aventurine to meet his parents. He would introduce Aventurine as a "collegue", to his amusement. As far as I know, there is no info on Ratio's family, so the following is pure HC. I like to think that his parents are alive and well. They are weird and quirky, and they love their son in their way, and they are beyond happy that their son has finally found a "colleague".

Cue all the most cheesy and stereotypical "meeting the parents" tropes. Them immediately referring to Aven as Ratio's boyfriend (you are not fooling anybody, doc). Them being a bit skeptical of Aven first ("Our little Veri deserves only the best"). Followed by the obligatory nine circles of humiliation hell for poor Ratio, with all the child photos and embarassing stories ("Here he's 5, he's dressed up as Nuos for the Autumn Spirit Festival", "And here is him getting his first quantum nanoscope for his 9th birthday (a photograph of an awkward lanky child with thick glasses and brackets)", "Veritas, dear, remember that time when you got accepted into all these prestigious schools you applied to and cried all night because you couldn't decide which one to choose"). Them besieging poor Aventurine with all kinds of questions about himself (he'd end up sharing much more about himself than he intended to). The parents getting absolutely charmed by Aven and immediately taking him under their wing ("Feel free to call us whenever Veritas decides to be difficult", "Visit us anytime, you can come alone, we know that our son apparently has more important things to do than visiting his poor old parents")

("Oh and here are socks Grandma knitted for you both when she heard that you were about to visit")

Meanwhile, aventurine.exe has stopped working 5 minutes after meeting them, not fully able to comprehend what's going on (these weird people are so unlike his own parents, yet being with them feels so painfully familiar, and this long forgotten feeling of being a part of something big, safe, and accomodating, is it what having a family feels like?, why are they so warm and welcoming to somebody they just met, and why is Ratio so comically embarassed, shouldn't he be the happiest person ever with parents like that?)

[shu-box-puns]

Shu what do you think happens to Tsu’tey, reader and spider when the humans come back in Avatar 2.

When the sully family leaves (let’s say spider doesn’t get captured). What would tsu’tey’s family. Would they go with the sullys, or spider and reader go alone with them while tsu’tey stays behind? Or would tsu’tey and his family stay behind bc they’re mostly after Jake…

I’m curious abt ur thoughts on this

OOOH, I have the fic plan for this EXACT scenario sitting in my google docs, and I don't want to spoil that too much, so I'm going to be vague.

To put it simply: chaos.

This trio would be so tight knit and scarily protective of one another, I can see war crimes being committed readily.

If Spider isn't captured, I would think that nothing would change in High Camp, since the RDA would not be in danger of finding its location without Spider. Which would of course keep Jake from panicking and running away. High Camp would still be secure. The kids would be on strict instructions to remain out of the forest unless accompanied by hunters, however, Quaritch would now know that the kids exist, which would be its own fresh set of problems, but he would be no further forward in finding the camp.

If Miles IS captured however, (can't help myself :D) I feel like there would be two very pissed off parents strategising a way to get him back. Whether this comes as some crazy plan to infiltrate Bridgehead itself, or a more drawn out, long game of keep close tabs on Quaritch and his squad to follow them across the jungle and the sea, I cannot say.

All I will say is that, the RDA wants revenge. They want the traitors wiped off the planet so they can build their 'new earth' in peace.

Whereas Jake wants his family safe. And Tsu'tey is still driven by what is best for the clan.

He has been Olo'eyktan for sixteen long years now, and he would no longer be the angry, grieving man from the end of Avatar 1. He would have helped his clan rebuild their lives in peace and safety. He would have welcomed a new generation into the world, and had watched his people thrive. They have made it through war and peace, and he has done his best with the hand Eywa dealt him.

If the time comes where he believes what is best for the clan is not him, he would step down. He doesn't HAVE to be Olo'eyktan to ensure his people are safe and cared for. And if he is not the best fit for Olo'eyktan, and is too concerned and focused on his family's safety, he would pass over the mantle.

He is not as young as he was. He has more to lose than ever. And like Jake, he has something truly precious to fight for.

Hope this answers most of your questions! :D

[docholligay]

Bozeman Half Marathon 2024

The race starts at 8. The shuttle drops us off at 6:55. 

There was a little bit of fucking around too close to start time, so we ended up in the back of the pack. As I break over the start line, it’s immediately clear to me that I am behind people who are shooting for a 2:30 or more time, which is so beautiful and hope they had the best time but all of my encouragements to newer or slower runners immediately die away in a wave of “get the fuck out of my way.” I have never bobbed and weaved as I did here, and I get afraid that I’ll lose my pacer, because I am trying so hard to just get get out of the fracas. 

Mile 3. I call out, “What are we sitting at?” “9:05” comes the answer. I’ve been fucking around too much, and make a breakaway in between two runners in front of me. I’ve got to hit harder than this. 

My pacer grabs his stomach and steps off to the side. 

You’re a beautiful person, but this ain’t ‘nam, and I’m leaving your ass. I will buy you a drink later, salutations and good luck. 

I actually start running faster at this point--i hadn’t realized how much I was holding back because I sensed he was struggling and I didn’t want to leave him in the dust. I need something to pace me. My stryd isn’t connecting, i don’t even have a timer watch, and I didn’t set my music to time me like I usually do, until the tornado siren. There are two girls in matching outfits, including pink banana shorts. They’re the ones. They look fast. 

If it were not for them, I don’t know that I would have been able to get it back, because they got me into a rhythm of running about a 8:30 mile for two miles, which gave me a huge cushion. Mile 4 and 5 were entirely on their pink-festooned backs. They stopped for water mid Mile 6, and i kept going. 

Mile 7: What the fuck have I done wrong in my life, and why is it being visited upon me, the sweetest and most innocent of human beings, right now? There is a long, slow, plodding hill. 

There is a moment, in every race I have ever run, called, “What the fuck is my problem?” It is very important to get over the ‘What the fuck is my problem?” hump, because it is my own personal Jesus being tempted by Satan in the desert, with the idea of walking and giving up. Why would I, a sane woman with a loving family, think about running 13 miles and change full send? Did I think that would be fun? What about my life up to that point made me think it would be fun?

We have to attack this little demon inside us. We can always doubt the wisdom of our decisions later, but for now, the only way out is through, and my only reward for slowing down is that I have to be on the course longer. 

I round the corner, no longer on the hill, and then from behind me, the sound of a truck, and a voice I ahven’t heard in a while: 

“C’mon Doc, let’s fuckin go! It ain’t that far!” I look to my left, and it’s my buddy Jake! I haven’t seen him in a couple years, and he must have figured out it was me by sheer chance of “I bet that little red headed dyke in the unicorn shorts is Doc. She loves to run” and he is correct! He bangs twice on the side of his BLM truck, laughs, revs his engine at me, and drives on down the course. 

This carries me for a solid two miles. If your family has been in Montana for as long as both of ours have, it’s hard to hide from each other. Do i want to come across as a little bitch to Jake? Do i want to tell him it was just too fucking hard? Fuck no. 

The Tracer voice inside me, “What’s the worst that could ‘appen? Push it!” “We die?” “Not a problem we’d ave to deal with!” 

I push. I go. I fly through the cross country kids handing out water. I’m trying to pace myself beside runners just a little ahead of me, runners that look fast and also infuriatingly casual in their matching banana shorts and pink tank tops. They hold me on for the next few miles, but as they start into their negative splits (Unfortunately, they not only look fast, they are fast) they begin to leave me behind. 

I have heard the half marathon called “10 decent miles and then the worst 5k of your life” and for me, at the very least, that seems to hold true. I am getting exhausted by the time I hit mile ten, and my form is falling apart. I like like one of those inflatable noodle men, running down the street, limbs flopping. My body is swinging wildly, which is costing me energy, but I can’t stop myself. I’m getting tired mentally and physically. 

In  the middle of mile 11, I hit a pothole. I’m not watching what I’m doing, my foot goes directly onto the lip of the pothole and I go careening forward. I know it’s a cliche to say things happen in slow motion, but I swear it must have taken me ten seconds to fall. I had time to think about how I absolutely did not want to hurt my knee, so I, with a reasonable amount of stupidity, put my arm out straight, which keen-eyed viwers will note is a great way to break your wrist. I didn’t, so, unearned victory for me, but I slammed down hard into the asphalt, and threw myself onto my hip. 

A struggled for a minute, and then, as I held up my hand to stand, someone grabs it, without breaking his stride at all, and yanks me to my feet. 

“We’re fucking doing this!” he yells to me. 

And then he continues on. I could have given up, and my pride and my time are badly hurt, but having that moment gives it all back to me. I might not be able to run this in time, but I can run it to the end, and not give up. Giving up isn’t what I do. 

Unfortunately, to be the people we tell ourselves we are, we have to make the choices that make us those people. If I am a runner, who doesn’t give up. I need to both run, and not give up. Annoying. 

So I keep on. By the time we reach the city proper, I am in mile 12 of 13, and I am well and truly suffering. It hurts so bad, and I want to stop, but I can’t stop, because I am so close, and how much would I hate myself to run all this way and give up now? I can’t walk. I have to keep going. 

The tornado siren goes off in my ear. I have ten minutes to cross the finish line before losing my goal. I haven’t hit the final mile yet. This is bad. But the only way to get there faster, is to run faster. I have no idea what I drew on in that moment. But I find something deep inside me, and I yank it out and throw it on the road. 

I go down the final pull, praying, waiting for the final turn, where I can see the finish line. That always gives me something more, sets off a firework inside me. 

There’s a gal with a sign by the side of the road that says, “ ***ing finish so we can drink!” and, again, it is only through the encouragement of strangers that I have made it through this race at all. I point at her sign and smile, and she yells to me, “You know what I’m talking about! Fuck yeah! Go! Go!” 

This last mile is one of the hardest of my life. I just keep having to chant, ‘Right, left, repeat. Right, left, repeat.” 

The final turn! I can see the finish line, I only have to run three more stoplights before I make it. I can do it. I kick on the afterburner. I am so close. I’m almost there. 

My heart falls when I see the timer. 1:57:40. I’ve already failed. There’s no way I can cross the finish line in 15 seconds. Or can’t I? Fuck it, whatever, I will maybe not make it, but I will run as hard as I can. My hip is screaming, my form is the worst it has ever been, and I don’t care about absolutely fucking any of that, because if I cross even one second under, I will have made PR. 

I go. 

I cross the finish line, wobbling, half limping, about to throw up. I’ve made my time goal by about 3 seconds. Great. That’s enough. The guy giving out the medals is nice enough to come over and put it on my neck, because I look like I’m suffering as much as I am. The text comes through. 

I COMPLETELY FORGOT IT TOOK ME NEARLY A MINUTE TO CROSS THE START LINE. I have made my time by a full goddamn MINUTE. My joy is total. I would jump up and down screaming but I do not have even the slightest amount of energy for any of that. I have a can of champagne in my drop bag, and I am going to go get that, and crush it. 

Someday, I’ll stop setting PR, but today is not that day.

Video evidence of my extremely bad finish: You can tell how much I'm favoring my hip, which is making me swing my body WILDLY.

[lavender-long-stories]

Writing Advice: Getting Words on a Page

With the 75k word count in November and 90k in August, I have been asked questions like how do I keep focus and what do I do when I get stuck. I am going to compile all the advice I have.

Over the last few years, I have posted 700k+ words of fan fiction and have been posting 3 to 6 chapters every week for the last ten months. This is not how to make your writing better. This is how to get words on a page. 

This is not all my original ideas. This is just a collection of things that have worked for me.

I am not sure I am the person to tell you how to make your writing better, but if people want my thoughts on that. I can make that post too.

When inspiration strikes, write like wild. 

If you have the time and you are bitten by the writing bug, keep writing anything while you are in peak form. You will thank yourself later when you feel like you can’t write everything. I have done the extreme version of this where I have a month (four chapters) written ahead of almost everything on my post schedule (you don’t need this), but this was really nice after I brunt out after finishing out the 90k challenge I destroyed myself with in August.

Write in little pockets of time.

You don’t need to sit down and write for two hours. Write 100 words here and 500 there. It will all add up. When I was struggling at the end of the 75k, I would just open a doc every few hours and write half a page until I got distracted and tried again later.

Change your font.

If you are struggling to edit or even just find yourself drifting while writing, change your font. It helps trick your brain into paying attention. (I like doing a mono font like Courier when I need writing vibes. It looks typewriter-y)

Take a shower. 

Not just for shower thoughts, being clean and fresh helps with focus

Get dressed.

I love being comfy, but something about getting dressed makes me feel like I am working and should finish my task. Extra points for it being fun. (Maybe cosplay a pirate or something.)

Move Locations.

Desk, kitchen table, bed, outside: changing location helps move you out of a brain rut.

Handwrite notes.

I take most of my notes on notion, but when I am struggling with my plot, I write out notes by hand, starting with what happened last and continuing from there, writing even things I know will happen. Then I transfer this to my digital notes so they are easier to move around in order, AND a lot of time, I add details when revising them to digital. Double power.

Always, always write down your thoughts and keep them.

Some of my most popular stories came from me rediscovering a 2 am thought that I wrote down six years ago. Keep a notepad next to the bed if you have to.

Change POV

If something is not working in a scene, maybe it is who you have reacting to it. Try switching POV. It helps you think of the scene from another perspective.

Watch a show in your genre.

I watch a lot of the silliest KDrama’s and get lots of romance ideas. Maybe I didn’t think of sending my character to a park or trapping them in a sky lift. Maybe I should add a stalker that sounds fun.

Take your bathroom breaks.

You should always drink lots of fluids and remember to take your bathroom breaks because the brief moment of walking away always gives me an idea.

Skim through the story and make notes on what HAS happened, not just what will happen.

This helps more with my style of having next to no plot outline. Need your next plot point and don’t know where to go? Remember that time they did x? Let’s build off that. This helps intertwine the plot without losing things.

Just read the story back.

You don’t always need to make notes, but sometimes just reading from the beginning can make you pick up on a detail that was unimportant at the time, and you may not even have meant to put in that could have a lot more meaning now. Then, you can call it clever foreshadowing.  

Explain your problem or the scene you are struggling with out loud.

It doesn’t have to be to someone. It could be a glass of water. This is called ‘rubber ducking. It’s a programmer term (hello, that is my day job). Restructuring your problem in a way you have to articulate it most of the time makes the solution come to you.

Try focusing on the scenery.

If you can’t get a scene to work open with the weather or how the floor is creaking under step, give the world a new feeling. How does the person feel about the weather or the temperature of the room? 

Can’t figure out what is wrong? Rewrite the chapter from scratch. 

Open a new doc and rewrite the chapter from memory. I do this a lot in the beginning of a story that didn’t quite hit the way I wanted it to. I will start the chapter from memory and skim the old one to ensure I didn’t miss anything important. Can’t do it from memory? Read a paragraph and write that from memory. 

Take a left turn.

Sometimes, if you can’t go any further, go back a sentence, a paragraph, a scene, a chapter, and just make a different decision. Turn left instead of right. Change how someone reacts to an argument. It opens a whole new lane to go down.

Excited for a scene that is in the future?

Write it! You don’t have to use it word for word in the future. Sometimes, you can copy and paste it in, and sometimes, you can just rewrite it, and you lose none of those thoughts you originally had.  Writing it might remind you of something that needs to happen first to help you get there.

Have more than one story you are working on.

I don’t think you need to be working on four+ stories like I do, but having something to switch to when your brain really isn’t feeling your main is a great way to keep you writing. Call it productive procrastination. This is the REAL reason I have so many stories uploading.  (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

Other Somewhat Related Advice

Context Switching

I work on multiple projects at a time, and I tend not to mix them up because they have a different vibe to me. It feels like stepping into each world.  If you are struggling with context switching between stories, I suggest finding a song or making a playlist that gives you that story’s ‘vibe’ and keeping a link to it in your writing folder or snagging a section of your story that captures the vibe you are going for and keeping it off to the side to reread when you need to switch.

Don’t edit the same day you write.

You’re not going to catch errors. Your brain is too familiar with what you wrote. Also, I recommend Grammarly or another grammar checker for all your missing comma and period needs. (Word, Docs, and any other text editor simply won't bully you enough.)

If you hate editing, don’t leave yourself with a painful amount of editing.

When people ask me how I edit my work, how many passes I take, etc, I tend to disappoint them. The short answer is one read-through (after using a grammar checker).  I learned a LONG time ago that as much as it would be nice to write a bunch of dialog and then tell yourself you will go back to add all the actions or write without quotes because it takes time, you will save yourself a lot of time and pain if you learn to write it correctly the first time and then editing won’t be as much of a chore. I have been writing for years, and I am used to how I write and edit. If you are newer to writing, give it another pass or two, but try to shift some of that work to the writing process, not the editing process.

Make yourself an editing cheat sheet.

Make yourself a doc or a notion of words you notice you use too much or common words you misspell when writing.  I usually make one when I get back and do a post edit (when the story has been up for a while and I get back with fresh eyes and edit it). Reading through your old work and find things that you don’t like or don’t want to do anymore is a great way to build this list and improve your writing.

Now go write.

Got any advice for me? Reblog and tell me.

[flamie-42]

Soukoku’s New Year

A little present from me since I havent updated my fics in a little bit, sorry :(

It’s New Year’s Eve, Chuuya gets a mysterious text from his old partner.

Mackerel: come to our place at the port

It’s late and Chuuya is already 2 glasses deep into his celebratory end of year wine he had been saving.

But it’s Dazai and so he begrudgingly puts on his jacket and a scarf. The sound of his motorcycle carries him down the streets until he reaches a warehouse at the end of the docs.

He climbes onto the roof and there he finds his (ex) partner sitting at the peak of the roof. Without saying a word he sits down next to the taller man.

You actually came

He has a tired smile on his face as he looks off into the black abyss of the ocean.

Of course I did

It was the same response he always gave when he got texts like this one.

Why did you text

His tone was standoffish as usual but he proceeded to flop down beside Dazai on the metal roof.

I wanted to see my Chibi! It’s been a while

He was cheerful but Chuuya could see the sadness in his eyes as he spouted his usual nonsense

Yeah I’m sure, what’s the real reason

He had placed his hand on Dazai’s to force the man to look at him instead of avoiding his line of sight. Dazai’s well manicured facade fell as he did so and a more melancholy look appeared on his features

The rest of the agency is throwing a party but….

It seemed as though that thought would go farther but instead he changed his tune and switched topics

Remember our first New Years? I dragged you down here to watch the fireworks and you wouldn’t shut up about how much you hated me?

Chuuya laughed to himself, It had been a long seven years since that date and so much had changed. As he though about all of the previous years a warm body slumped against his shoulder and he could feel Dazai's hair against his neck.

Yeah you made me stay until the fireworks went off and then tried to convince me to kiss you for "good luck in the new year"

He felt a warm laugh from the man lounging on his shoulder at that comment. He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and searched for a lighter he knew was stored in his jacket. Not finding it he huffed and motioned to Dazai. Seconds later a small flame bloomed between their huddled form and Chuuya used it to ignite the stick set between his fingers.

What if that's what I'm trying to do this year?

Dazai's muffled voice filtered up to him as he blew a puff of smoke into the darkness. Chuuya looked down to try and see if the bastard was joking or not only to be met with his unruly mop of hair blocking his face as he leaned on Chuuya's shoulder. Without seeing his old partner's face he was unable to know the real intention so he merely scoffed and took another drag of the cigarette in his hand.

mhm sure Dazai

It was the only practical response to make and it seemed to satiate Dazai as Chuuya's attention was drawn away to the sparks of color that began to paint the night sky. A loud boom echoed through the quiet port and Chuuya remembered why they always used to watch the fireworks from this spot. It almost felt as though you were right in front of the bursts as they erupted over the quiet port. He hardly noticed the absence of the weight that had just previously been attached to his shoulder until he felt a hand turn his face to the side.

Dazai was now staring right into his eyes and if Chuuya didn't know better he would have thought there was a slight blush across his cheeks. He leaned in closer until their lips fell together in a much too short kiss. As Dazai pulled back Chuuya was sure that there was a blush adorning his cheeks. As quickly as it had happened Dazai had turned away to look out at the fireworks again.

Chuuya shook his head and decided to ignore what he was sure was a goofy grin on his face. He flicked the stub of the cigarette away and pulled Dazai's face back towards him.

Come back here, Mackerel. I need some more luck

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

My Chapter 51 Thoughts and my thoughts around ShimaMitsu in general

So @mapoeggplant​ had a really cool discussion thread on twitter and I wanted to contribute to it. But I got very longwinded and now idk if the pics in my google doc even loaded... so I decided to share my thoughts here on tumblr as well!

Be warned, this post is littered with manga spoilers so if you are an anime-only or haven’t caught up to the most recent chapters, avoid this post so you don’t have the journey spoiled for yourself ^o^

Mika realizing something is up with Mitsumiー Mika is definitely a character that surprised me in how much I ended up liking her! Everyone in S&L I think is a subversion of popular tropes in manga’s past where on the surface they look like a trope and then boom, sensei hits us with a reality check and explanation as to how they are. Mika is clearly the ‘mean girl in shoujo who hates the protagonist by virtue of crushing on the male lead’. *Worry not, I’m aware S&L is a seinen*

But her maturity and growth over the series? Astounding. From reconciling with her envy of Mitsumi, Nao helping her come to terms with the idea of Mitsumi and Sousuke dating hypothetically in the future and becoming such a good friend? Love it.

So I love how Mika is the first to really notice that something is off with Mitsumi in regards to Sousuke.

Pretty sure that back in chapter 47 it was established that all of the girls have noticed something was off with Mitsumi. But they decided to respect her privacy because if she wants to tell them what’s wrong, she’ll tell them and they want to give her the chance to come to them first. Though they did express they were worried she wasn’t truly seeming like herself.

And the reason Mika starting to connect the dots this most recent chapter is so ‘big’ for me, for lack of a better word, is because it really puts into perspective how Mitsumi has been handling the breakup.

Mitsumi breaking things off with Sousuke was definitely a mature move. I’ve even been in the same position of breaking things off with a relationship because of feeling like the way we loved each other was different and it would be best to go back to friends. Then spending 2 years chatting with my ex as if nothing happened before having an emotional breakdown about it and needing two weeks of space from her before I could function around her. And it feels like Mitsumi is doing the same thing with Sousuke. But by virtue of Mika spotting Mitsumi’s discomfort in sitting next to Sousuke and starting to question things, it really solidifies how Mitsumi is processing things.

Like, Mitsumi telling Sousuke she can work on her own and such when he proposed the idea when she mentioned wanting to work to get Maharu a new wallet. She wasn’t just brushing it off and being all chill, kumbaya. She was more than likely trying to avoid him because she isn’t really ready to just be alone with him yet.

So I’m hoping in this arc that Mika is going to bring up what she’s noticed to Mitsumi. Because since she’s already processed her feelings, if Mitsumi were to admit to her that she and Sousuke dated briefly before she ended things it wouldn’t make Mika spiteful or anything weird like that. If anything, I think it would bring them closer together because if there is anyone who would understand the Sousuke-failed-relationship/rejection love pains Mitsumi is going through, it would be Mika.

Mitsumi & Sousuke (and Yasaka)ー

As for Mitsumi specifically, I think that her relationship with Sousuke as present is a ripple effect of Yasaka’s statement back during the chapter Mitsumi rightfully called Sousuke out for not standing up for her when she would definitely do it if the roles were reversed.

Immediately after that, we see Mitsumi beginning to contemplate what she said, her perspective of Sousuke and she doesn’t really know how Sousuke was raised, his relationships with his family etc. Like, she knows there is some drama there, based on the school festival arc with the play and running into Sousuke’s childhood friends and mother but she also acknowledges she doesn’t know the full story and how Sousuke came to be how he is today.

While Yasaka’s assessment did give Mitsumi the idea that she should keep in mind how she was raised and how others were raised paints how they become in the present, she is almost like… overly internalizing that and trying to be overly conscious of Sousuke’s feelings. And even the feelings of Maharu. I’m not sure I’d go as far as saying Mitsumi is blaming herself for what they are going through since so far I haven’t really seen anything that would indicate self-blame. The closest you can get to that is her scolding herself for expecting Sousuke to come to her defense just because they’re dating.

When, in reality, while Yasaka is right Mitsumi should keep in mind that Sousuke and her have different frames of reference and she should be considerate of that… Mitsumi was well within her right to be upset that her boyfriend was letting some mean girls shit talk in her face and made no effort to defend her.

Then the next time you see them interact in chapter 45, she essentially brushes that under the rug. She apologizes to Sousuke for getting upset, he says he is going to turn down their party invite and they go their separate ways… But Sousuke never actually apologizes for not standing up for her which, at least in Mitsumi’s eyes, would solidify the idea that she was in the wrong and was expecting too much of her at-the-time boyfriend.

This overly considerate behavior Mitsumi is now displaying even went as far as not wanting to tell her friends about the breakup and everything that led up to it because she was worried about how they would perceive Sousuke and possibly give him some sort of negative treatment in response to how things went. Not to mention, she’d rather just bottle up her feelings than cause a rift in their friend group they’ve had since first year.

When she breaks up with Sousuke, she goes above and beyond in reassuring him they have and always will be friends. Which while that is cool because the hiccups aside, they have a pretty great friendship, Mitsumi isn’t really allowing herself to feel hurt by the breakup and thinks that, while even if a large portion of it is that she and Sousuke’s ‘love’ is different her actions thus far would imply she thinks it is on her for expecting so much. (So I guess there actually is a good portion of self-blame from her, even if subconsciously!) 

And with the most recent chapter, Sousuke gets to see how Mitsumi is hiding how hurt she is by Maharu’s rejection of her gift and her outburst that Mitsumi is only thinking about herself and to me his expression is almost like a parallel to his expression in chapter 46 when Mitsumi broke up with him.

In chapter 46, Sousuke needed comfort. He’s worried about being abandoned or viewed as worthless because he wasn’t able to live up to the ‘use’ or ‘idea’ Mitsumi had of him.

This time, Mitsumi needs comfort and it’s like this moment has essentially confronted Sousuke with the fact that she isn’t as cheerful, mature and invulnerable as she has presented herself to him thus far. So while yes, Yasaka was right in how Mitsumi doesn’t know as much about Sousuke as she thought she did, the reverse is also very true in that Sousuke doesn’t really know Mitsumi as much as he thought he did.

Sprinkle all this into the fact that Sousuke is going through his own whirlwind of emotions regarding Mitsumi, their breakup and how he feels about her. He’s jealous of Ujiie and how close he is with Mitsumi, he feels left out that Mitsumi hasn’t really been including him in activities outside of school and he was pouty and perplexed in chapter 47 about her perspective of the breakup going far as to pout to Chris and Ririka:

And Chris rightfully being confused because he doesn’t get Sousuke’s reaction since back in chapter 42 he didn’t even really know if Sousuke really even liked Mitsumi romantically (as proven by how, when Sousuke told him about the breakup, he automatically assumed Sousuke was dumper and not the dumpee). Now he wants to be closer to her while Mitsumi is essentially going ‘I want to keep everything chill and normal but at the same time I’m still upset and trying not to be next to him for extended periods of time just yet’.

Fast forward to chapter 51 and Sousuke’s in Mitsumi’s childhood home and feeling out of place/out of his element. So this is all the recipe for him to confront his own misconceptions of Mitsumi and, hopefully, apologize for his part in the breakup and how he should have stood up for her. Which we do see him do later in chapter 50 when she isn’t present, but Sousuke has the self-awareness to know and bitterly accept that if Mitsumi hadn’t called him out before he likely would have let them continue talking poorly about her.

Maharu & Mitsumiー Now onto Maharu~ I’m fully looking forward to her part in this arc because it is very clear that she is dealing with insecurities regarding herself and her older sister. Mitsumi has been confirmed by multiple characters that she is essentially a prodigy in her hometown and her hometown is being hit with a very real-life problem the Japanese countryside faces. Like, it is to the point where schools in the countryside are shutting down because there aren’t enough students to justify keeping them open because the young people are leaving for the city, not returning and not raising their kids there (which most people aren’t doing anyway due to the decline in birthrates in recent years for Japan).

Mitsumi even went as far as telling Sousuke her thoughts that she might likely be the only one of her siblings to even leave their prefecture.

We don’t really know how much Mitsumi is discussed back in her hometown, but it must be enough to make Maharu feel the way she does. It is just unfortunately manifesting in taking things out on her sister rather than talking to her parents about how she feels or even trying to discuss it with Mitsumi. Hell, talking to Mitsumi about it first probably won’t even help things come to a positive conclusion. As it stands now, Maharu’s perception of her sister is that Mitsumi looks down on her for getting out of the prefecture and going to the holy grail that is the capital of their country for school.

She needs an outside perspective that isn’t ‘tainted’ by Mitsumi.

Mitsumi’s friends from Tokyo are out because 1) they are Mitsumi’s friends and 2) Maharu already is feeling insecure and putting them on a pedestal because they are Tokyonites and fancy people.

Her family is out because Mitsumi is essentially their pride and joy.

And the chapter end with Maharu running into Fumi and while I wanna say ‘Fumi, get in here and rescue this sibling relationship’-

Fumi would still fall under the category of ‘tainted by Mitsumi’ by virtue of being Mitsumi’s best friend, even if Fumi has been shown to be very close to the Iwakura family. So I honestly think it could go either way with Fumi trying to talk to Maharu and help her vent how she feels, but Maharu could easily do that and when Fumi tries to be reasonable Maharu could think that Fumi is trying to take Mitsumi’s side when she is just trying to help give Maharu some outside perspective.

So that would basically summarize all of スキロー thoughts with the most recent chapter sensei has delivered us. I’m loving it all so far and looking very forward to what happens next!

[silvyadrakkon]

3 Under-Discussed Writer’s Block Busters

You all know me as an artist, but my first love will always be writing. And writer’s block is REAL. 

So I thought I’d throw out a few of my moderately unusual writer’s block busters to help my fellow authors.

Of course, the most common “answers” to writer’s block are:

Just keep writing, even if you don’t want to. (Something is better than nothing.)

Write now, edit later. (Leave your perfectionism at the door.)

Find what makes you most creative. (Play music, write during the same time of day, find good snacks, write in the right setting, and so on).

These are definitely helpful tips—things you 100% want to do whether you have writer’s block or not, but they’re not much use against more stubborn forms of creative constipation.

That’s where my three failsafe fix-its come in. They have always worked for me, no matter the situation. 

1. Change your writing method.

Story time! I haven’t been able to write for personal prodjects on a computer for four years—about as long as I’ve been writing and editing for my career. I associate my computer with business—even now that I’m between jobs.

My creativity freezes up whenever I try to work on one of my stories, and I get really distracted. Eventually I end up down a rabbit hole looking up limnic eruptions or different types of crocodiles, having only written a paragraph of a completely unrelated story. 

I swapped to hand-writing stuff just after my son was born, and that worked for a long time. I filled several notebooks with some great content (that will eventually be ready for you to read). But then my kid started walking, and I became his favorite chair.

If I have a pen, my kid wants it. And he won’t take a decoy pen. He specifically wants the pen in my hand, so writing when he’s awake is kind of out of the question. (I can only draw when he’s awake because I can balance my tablet on the back of our sofa.) Plus, those of you with munchkins know that you’re generally doing other responsible adult things when the kiddo is asleep, making writing then rather difficult.

I learned I can get a lot of writing done on my phone in the Apple Notes app. It sure beats doom-scrolling Tumblr and is a vast improvement over my retro minesweeper game when I’m spending some quality time in the bathroom. It’s also something I can write with when standing up, sitting on the couch, or hiding behind the baby gate on our stairs.

Can’t get the words out on Google Docs? Switch to Microsoft Word. Getting distracted on your computer? Handwrite your story—in a notebook or even on colorful construction paper. Don’t be afraid to experiment, even across the same story.

2. Get a second opinion.

I have a character floating around my WIPs who’s an absolute blast to write (I can unleash my full punning arsenal), but he’s also an ENFP, meaning we see the world in completely different ways. I often find myself stuck on how he would get out of the really nutty situations he often gets himself into. Thankfully, my ESFJ husband has really strong Extroverted Intuition (an ENFP’s dominant Jungian function), so I can often turn to him and ask, “What would be the dumbest could-work way you’d fix this problem?”

Asking for a second opinion is surprisingly low on most writer’s block fix-it lists, but it is by far one of the most helpful. I’ve been my mom’s developmental story consultant since I could read, and it’s been a great way for her to really churn out the novels. (It’s also a great motivation to finish your story because at least one person will be wanting to read it when you’re done.)

Even if you don’t take someone’s advice, it might still spark something that’ll propel your story forward.

3. Change your story’s direction.

Adapted from The Writing Life by Annie Dillard

Writing, in many ways, is a lot like digging a silver mine. As you rummage around your own head for precious nuggets (those really impactful scenes readers remember forever), you’re setting up a sturdy narrative shaft, using exposition and rising action to fortify walls so your story doesn’t collapse on itself.

Experienced miners know when a shaft isn’t structurally sound. They won’t willingly enter or work on a mine that could cave in on them, gauging the safety of the mine through small clues—clues their demanding boss is completely blind to. 

Your creative subconscious is a miner, and you, its employer. While not always, writer’s block could be an early sign that your story is about to collapse. Perhaps you’ve accidentally let a plot hole grow too large to fill with easy edits, or maybe the way you’re taking your story will fall flat, leaving you and your readers unsatisfied. Sure, you can force your creative subconscious to continue, but you’ll end up with a lot of unusable content in the end.

If you think you’re in a mine shaft writer’s block scenario, go back several plot points and start writing in another direction. If that doesn’t work, go back a few more plot points. While doing so may temporarily upset the plans you had for the novel, it will let you continue writing in peace and produce a better finished product.

[youremyheaven]

I need some advice. I feel like I'm dying. Going through the worst period cramps ever (never had this in the past 11 years), it literally feels like someone is stabbing my cervix, uterine walls and the pathway walls (I feel a bit shy calling it what it is...like a normal woman). Its so bad, I've never had it like this before. Has to do with the fact I was having isues, doc put me on meds, as soon as the dosage was done: red sea spilleth over.

Know any home remedies to help? Or just any other advice to deal with this? Can't go to the doc rn, she'll suggest to hold off pain meds, I am taking over the counter anti-inflammatory stuff..yk the one for fevers and other pains. Its not working. Its been so debilitating...I can't sleep, sit, breathe, do anything...yk the type of pain that makes you bend and make your mouth water...idk if that happens to anyone else but yeah....

OMGGG 😩😨😨😓that sounds soooo rough, I hope you're feeling better now???

I have taken meftal spas for cramps since I was maybe 16-17 years old. Idk if that's available in other parts of the world??? but its widely available in India and its specifically for period cramp induced pain<333 I'm not a doctor so pls don't take any medication without exercising caution first!!! you may not react well to it or it may have adverse effects bc of the medication you're already taking ://// 😩😩

on that note, practicing yin yoga (which focuses on releasing stress from the hip area/psoas muscles) has greatly changed my reproductive system as a whole tbh, my sex drive changed, my relationship with my body changed (like even the way i walk changed bc my hips loosened up, which meant i walked more "freely" dont tell me its woowoo,, yk can just tell when someone's body is very "frozen" or "stiff" looking) and yesss my menstrual cycle was immensely affected by it.

i used to have HORRIBLE cramps, irregular cycles, HEAVY bleeding etc in my mid-late teens (this was because of trauma + eating disorder, in case u wanted to know) and now? my period is 3 days long, light bleeding, little to no pain and i attribute alllll of that to yoga<3

now i specifically like to do certain mudras and asanas (poses) which are supposed to help the female body specifically

and while this can help u when u are on your period, i suggest making it part of your lifestyle and living according to your monthly cycle's phases so that you can experience smoother periods. i dont think its realistic to do them if you're experiencing immense pain 😭

Legs-Up-The-Wall Pose (Viparita Karani)

This pose is known for increasing blood flow to the pelvic region which helps enhance the health of your reproductive organs.

2. Baddha konasana aka butterfly pose

helps the uterus<333

3. balasana or child's pose

tbh this might actually help even if ur ON your period, lying down like this is soooo soothing and comforting. ppl overcomplicate yoga, when the reality is that holding your body in certain poses can emotionally feel very comforting/freeing/nourishing etc but then again im only familiar with yin yoga/restorative yoga (there are manyyyy different types of yoga)

4. happy baby pose

as the name suggests this is how babies lay down and they seem happy for no reason,, i remember the first time i consciously did this pose and i was like???? this is yoga??? bc i would randomly do poses like these for no reason in bed (im sure we all do when we're bored) and if i intentionally do it?? its actually good for me??

again this pose helps with the hip muscles!!! the female body is always preparing for childbirth. regardless of whether or not you want to be a mom, taking care of your womb health and reproductive well being is CRUCIAL bc whether we like it or not we were designed this way and dont think of it as "preparing my body to bear children" just think of it as "preparing my body to be at its best" (the bearing kids is just a bonus) .. the state of your womb affects your whole being!!! its not a joke!!!

now here's some mudras:

yoni mudra

yoni means womb and as u can see, this pose imitates the 🫣🫣 its a highly beneficial mudra for women and helps with overall pelvic health. you can do it sitting cross legged. i like to chant mantras and do this pose,, it kicks in quicker or smthng idk 😳but it feels ✨

2. prana mudra

do this mudra on both hands btw!!

prana means life force

this mudra helps with overall immunity and pain management!!!

3. prithvi mudra

prithvi means earth and this mudra helps balance the earth element in your energetic system which means its gives you strength, resilience and physical energy (in case u feel tired, fatigued etc for no reason) as those are the qualities of the earth

now for some pranayamas

Bhramari/ honeybee buzzing

this is my fav bc its so simple and easy to do!! and who doesn't want to buzz like a bee??? 🥰😍

2. anulom vilom

this is also a very simple pranayam for beginners

the whole idea is to get your body into a state of relaxation so that you dont operate from a place of stress or anxiety. you can just feel peaceful all the time. imagine being that unbothered!!

sorry for going off on a tangent (me with every post lmao) these are some beginner friendly yoga asanas/mudras/pranayamas (all of which are diff components of yoga) that u can try when u feel comfortable!!

NOW about alleviating pain ASAP:

hot water bag

put that thing on ur stomach and lie down (after taking medicine) my mom used to do this all the time and it helped her a lot

2. roobois tea

i drink roobois tea almost everyday hehe but its said to help alleviate menstrual cramps 🤔and lower blood pressure,,

3. chamomile tea

is also said to help with period pain :o

4. look into your diet, sleep, overall lifestyle

you may not have had pain of this sort before but babe NOW UR A WOMAN ✨and u have to look at your lifestyle and ensure that its something that helps a woman's body feel rested and calm

being stressed all the time can take a physical toll on you and lead to all kinds of diseases later in life!! its in your best interest to RELAX

idk how much this helped 😭😭the most convenient thing to do would be to take medicine but u said u can't so :((( hot water bag + roobois tea???

ALSOOOO always wear socks during your period and keep your feet covered. i have sensitive feet so i wear socks at home often (this is uncommon in india, where we have a tropical climate lmao) BUT KEEP THOSE FEET COVERED,, there's some kind of science behind it but i dont remember it lmao,, all i know is that it makes me bleed less<333 and have more cozy periods and sleep better<33

ALSOOOO,, this could be an old wives tale but it worked for me (but im also delusional😍) eating dark chocolate and/or having a spoon of oil on day 1 of your period makes your period go smoothly?? 😭😭😭there's no harm in trying hehe

ALSOOO and ive never tried this but heating up like a tablespoon of oil and applying it to the bellybutton area 😳😳can help alleviate period pain 😳😳

lastly and most importantly, im just a girlblogger and NOT A MEDICAL EXPERT so pls dont put urself in an adverse position bc of something i said 😭😭😭

love always,

heaven ✨