#this has been sittin in my ask box for months

[poly-pan-0118]

Sweet Talker

Bakugou/FemReader

Lots of praises and dirty talk

WC:2136

Things felt different tonight. You could tell from the moment you sat in Katsuki’s car. Those vermillion eyes locked on yours as a large palm settled on your thigh. You’ve always known that the explosive blonde had an insatiable desire, and you're not complaining. You lost count of how many times you brought him lunch at the agency just to find out you were the meal getting devoured on top of his desk. Legs spread open as your back arched off the number four’s desk. 

You’ve known Katsuki since UA and always thought he was attractive. Years later, after graduation and making a name for yourselves in the hero world, looking at Bakugou Katsuki should be an outright sin. His lingering glares didn't go unseen either. It wasn't until you decided to transfer to DynaMight’s agency that you realized soon after you had a crush on said hero. 

After two missions together, the tall blonde Tsundere asked you on a date. Well, Katsuli’s exact words were, 

“Meet me at our usual ramen shop. Or whatever.”

A walk back to your apartment and a kiss later, you were inseparable. Months later, Katsuki asked you to move in with him, and now, it’s been a year. Sex with Katsuki has never been vanilla though. It’s always been rough and fast. Not fast, as in it was over before you knew it, but fast, as in he couldn’t get enough of you. All hands grabbing everywhere, teeth mashing and hair pulling. Katsuki never finished before you and when he did reach his climax, it didn't mean he was done. 

That’s why you knew tonight was different. The touches, the looks, the way he talked to you during dinner—the tension was thick enough to cut. It was almost as if it was the first date. The restaurant wasn't far from his place, so you both decided to walk back. Hand in hand, you both walked, no words spoken, just enjoying each other's company, but you couldn't wonder if something was on his mind. 

Your questions were answered soon after you arrived home. After slipping off your shoes, you placed your purse on the kitchen island and turned to face Katsuki, still standing at the door, hands in his pockets and eyes cast to the floor. Before you could ask what was wrong, he dropped to one knee. You realized real quick that it wasn't sexual in nature as his arm extended and, in the palm of his hand, he held a ring box.

Of course, you said yes and now here you are, slowly riding your fiance as you admire his pecks that you feel just a tad bit jealous of. You lose yourself in the sensations of each pass his cock made past the ridges of your walls. Getting lost in the praises and his large hands that roam over your ass, encouraging you to move against him.

“Can you hear how wet you are? That's it. Use the curve of my cock, baby. Find that spot. Oh fuck. That's it. So fucking good. You're doing so so fucking good for me. Fuuck! You're making my cock throb.” 

You whine and shake at his words, loving every second of it. Katsuki gave you praises before, but this time, it was different. The dirty talk and praises were thrown at you in full force and you craved more of it. 

“You feel good, baby, hmm? Yeah? You ride this cock till you cum, you hear me? 

Finally, your walls tighten and you yell that you're cuming. Katsuki pulls your chest down to his and holds you down so you can't move. 

“Keep that chest on mine and you bounce that ass, baby.”

“Keep that pussy sittin' tight on my dick. Wanna feel your walls pulse. Mmmm,”

You came hard as his tip hit your cervix. You laid your head on his chest, trying to regain your breathing as Katsuki let out low moans as your sweet cunny squeezed and unsqueezed his shaft.

After a moment of not moving, your cunt still quivering, Katsuki thrusts his hips upwards. 

“Katsuki, t-oo sensitive”

He rolls over so you are now under him, never slipping out of your tight, warm hold. 

“I'm nowhere near finished with you.”

“This cock fits so well, doesn't it? Slides right in.”

And he's right. You're soaking the sheets underneath and he's just getting started. Katsuki hasn't pushed in all the way just yet. He barely pushes two inches, then pulls out to the very tip, letting his cock head tease your clit. 

Finally, he pushes till his balls slap against your ass, causing you both to moan loudly. 

“That's it, that's the spot, isn't it? Fuck, baby, feels like you were made to take this cock.”

Just as you feel your core tingling and your release on the cusp, he pulls out. You are about to protest, but he slaps your pussy lips with his heavy cock drenched in your slick and his pre. 

Katsuki falls on top of you, holding you tight beneath him. The only things he's moving are his hips and their thrusting relentlessly. You can feel that sweet release building again and silently pray that he doesn't take it away this time. 

“That's it. Squeeze me, baby girl. Squeeze my cock. Wanna feel you cum again.”

You howl his name and Katsuki buries his head in your neck, moaning deeply. He thinks if he could stay like this forever, he would. Hitting that spot that has your cunny gripping his dick, it feels fantastic. 

“Holy shit, right there, right there. That's it, angel, cum for me. Cum for me.”

Katsuki slows down, barely moving as he lets you fall from your high. He's trying to hold off on cumming, wanting to make this moment last. Not only that, but he also enjoys watching your blissed-out face. 

“Good girl. You're doing so good, baby.”

Katsuki can't help it, though. He starts to speed up with his thrusts; your pussy feels so amazing. 

“You feel so good, baby. Can't stop. Just too fucking good.”

But he does stop. Just long enough to give you sweet kisses and help you roll over onto your stomach. He tells you to lie with your legs together, and you immediately feel his lips on the back of your neck. Slowly, achingly his lips trail down your spine till they find your ass. 

Katsuki's hands are callous and rough yet also soft and gentle. An enigma you don't try to understand; you just enjoy the feel as they spread your cheeks. His cock is stroking back and forth between them and for a quick second, he thinks he'll just get off like this. 

That won't do, though. No, Katsuki needs to feel you strangling his cock one more time. The instant thought of how it felt minutes ago has him turning feral. All he thinks about is how he wants to fill you with his cum, wanting to breed you. 

He pulls a small pillow from the bed and places it under your pelvis. Your ass is tilted up at a better angle and he's practically salivating to feel how deep he can get. 

Katsuki slowly slips inside and nearly collapses on top of you. His chest to your back, his hands find yours and fingers intertwine. You steal the words right out of his mouth when you moan how deep he is. His cock is touching places he's never felt before. 

“I wanna feel every part of you. Gotta,” Katsuki pushes up on his arms and it feels as if his cock may push out through your throat, “gotta go deeper.”

He's not moving too fast or too slow—his pace is just right. The only sounds are heavy breathing and moans mixed with the wet schlick. 

While he's stuck in this moment of bliss and staring at your beautiful ass, Katsuki has a thought. His hand glides over your clit to push you even further, yes, but to also get his thumb nice and wet. He thrusts a little faster as his thumb hovers over your puckered ring and he thinks about asking first but wants to see your honest reaction.

He watches your face, the half that he can see that isn't buried in the sheets, as he slowly prods at your entrance with his thumb. He can see your eyelids flutter and your jaw drops. Taking that as a good sign, he pushed his thumb further until his knuckle disappeared. And that's when he thinks he has seen heaven. 

Your pussy squeezes him tighter than it ever has before and Katsuki knows there's no more stalling. He needs to cum and the way your walls are gripping his head, it won't be long now. 

Katsuki thrusts faster but not as fast and rough as he usually goes when he's about to spill into you. He's still trying to savor what he can from this moment. 

“Keep going. Keep going, Katsuki, please.”

Hearing your pleas has his toes tingling. He's trying his best to hold out for you. His fingers find your clit again and it's not long before you're screaming his name and coming. 

“That's it, sweet girl. My angel.” 

Katsuki slows for just a second as he praises you and watches your totally cock drunk face before he chases his high. 

“I wanna fill you up. Wanna cum so deep inside that it gets you pregnant.”

Your continued moans and pleas for him to cum inside you edge him closer to the finish line but its two little words that escape your mouth that does him in. 

“Daddy, please!”

A deep and guttural moan rumbles from his chest as he slams his cock deep as it will go and spills his all. Once again, his chest is flat against your back, but he's careful not to smother you. Not that you'd care at this moment. 

Katsuki thrusts very slowly a few more times as he finished coming. It didn't seem to stop for a second. Katsuki’s arms shake as he holds himself up to kiss your back before sitting up. He hisses as he pulls out and watches his cum leak from your still-clenching hole. 

“Suck a messy pussy.” Katsuki's voice croaks as he kisses your ass. He pulls the pillow out from underneath and reminds himself to throw that away now. You hear his footsteps to the bathroom and running water, but before you know it, he's back beside you.  Katsuki sits a glass of water on the bedside table before he cleans you with a warm towel and asks if you are okay and if you need anything. 

You can barely keep your eyes open and focus on Katsuki's words as you lay on your stomach. The feeling of Katsuki’s warm hands gliding up your legs and over your back, his lips trailing across your skin, leaving little kisses. The sense of urgency is gone, but his touch is still intimate. A side of Bakugou Katsuki you never thought you'd see years ago. Whispered praises leave his lips with each hot kiss he leaves behind. 

“Get some rest, sweetheart.” 

Katsuki whispers, ‘I love yous’ in your ear as you slowly fade into slumber. His arms engulfed your body, something you would never be able to sleep without ever again. To have and to hold, til death do you both part. 

[sixhours]

Meteor

She remembers the space he’d carved around himself, and the moment she realized the distance was too great to cross.

Rating: PG Word count: 1k

Notes: X-Files revival era fic.

Originally posted at ao3 01/19/2016

~*~

She makes her way up the long drive, the old farmhouse looming like a specter from her past. There are no lights in the windows, just a cold, hulking shadow against a darkening sky; an apt metaphor if she thinks about it too much, which she won’t.

“Where are you, Mulder?” Scully whispers to herself. His car is parked next to the porch. It’s evening, too early for sleep.

The air is damp as she leaves the warmth of the car, carrying a folder of papers. Spring has turned the ground to mud beneath her feet, and she, in her most expensive pair of heels, frowns. Her good boots are at the bottom of a box at the back of her closet along with the rest of the things she never unpacked.

The porch creaks in the same places, the screen door still protests on its hinge. She knocks once before trying the handle, finding it open.

“Mulder?”

The house is dusty and silent. She curses under her breath, gooseflesh rising along the back of her neck, wishing she had her holster. Three months on the job after so long away and she’s still not used to carrying.

She’s debating whether to check upstairs or leave the file on the kitchen table when a voice calls her name from outside.

“Scully?”

She steps onto the porch, squinting into the darkness. “Mulder? Is that you?”

“I’m out back,” he calls. “Watch your step.”

She turns on her phone’s flashlight and makes her way to the back yard. A shadow sits on the frame of the old pickup they haven’t used in years.

“I’d have left the porch light on if I’d known you were coming,” it says.

She points the phone in that direction, eliciting a wince from her partner as the beam hits his eyes.

“Ow, Scully.”

“Sorry,” she mutters, shutting off the light. “What are you doing out here, Mulder?”

There’s the distinct sound of liquid sloshing, the kiss of a bottle at his lips.

“Just sittin’ and thinkin’.”

“In the dark? It’s chilly,” she says, rubbing her shoulders for emphasis.

His face resolves as her eyes slowly adjust. He’s sitting on the tailgate, legs dangling off the end, a beer nestled between his thighs.

“I thought you’d be working.”

“Guy can’t take a break once in a while?”

She smirks. “Who are you and what have you done with my partner?”

“Hah-hah, funny. Have a seat, Scully.”

She does after a pause, easing herself onto the tailgate to join him.

“This’ll warm you up,” he says, offering her a beer.

“How many of these have you had?” she asks, accepting the bottle with a raised eyebrow.

“Just the one, doc. Don’t worry,” he says. “It’s not that kind of party.”

The cap twists off; the taste of malt fizzes on her tongue, goes down smooth.

“I take it you’re here for business and not pleasure,” he says, nodding to the folder in her lap.

“Mm. It’s the autopsy results for Lisa Baylor. Scrapings from her fingernails revealed traces of skin; they’re processing the DNA and I asked the lab to run it through NICS. We’ll have the full results in the morning, but I thought you’d want to get an early start.”

“You ever heard of email, Scully?”

“You mean the thing that keeps you tethered to your computer at all hours? Yeah, I’ve heard of it,” she mutters.

He offers a wry smile. “You didn’t have to drive all the way out here for that.”

“Maybe I wanted to talk about the case in person.”

His voice grows soft. “You don’t need an excuse to visit, you know. You always have a place here.”

“I wasn’t looking for an excuse.”

“Checking up on me, huh?”

“Mulder,” she sighs. “Don’t start.”

A cricket chirps in the grass at their feet, filling the stillness that hovers like a black mist. She remembers the space he’d carved around himself, and the moment she realized the distance was too great to cross.

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” he says finally, nudging her shoulder in apology. “Been a rough year. Sometimes I forget we’re on the same side now.”

“I’ve always been on your side, Mulder,” she murmurs, feeling their history like a lead weight in her chest. “I’ve only ever wanted what was best for you.”

“I know,” he nods, then holds out his bottle. “Truce?”

“Truce,” she agrees, letting the glass clink softly. For a moment, the silence is comfortable, familiar, and she closes her eyes.

When she opens them, she’s looking at his profile in the dusky light. With his beard shaved and his hair trimmed, she can almost see the man she met twenty odd years ago. Without thinking, she reaches out to touch his cheek, the stubble rough against her fingers.

He looks over, bemused, and she pulls her hand away, still feeling the ghost of his skin against her palm.

“You clean up good, G-man,” she says.

He chuckles, his gaze turned upward. “Hey, it’s starting.”

He points to the sky and her eyes follow, trying to see what he sees. A pinprick of light flicks across the sky, followed by another, and then another; the beginnings of a meteor shower.

Mulder reaches behind them and pulls out two rolled sleeping bags, settling back against one in the bed of the truck. She doesn’t ask why he brought two instead of one, for the same reason she knows the extra beer in her hand was never intended for him.

She pulls the rolled blanket behind her and lies back to watch the show. Her eyes flit from one corner of the heavens to the other as more of the blue-white streaks make their way across the night, and she marvels at how the stars can still stun her with their beauty, how the universe in all its endless mystery can be so breathtaking, even after bringing such grief.

His voice is rich and vulnerable, spoken to the open air. “It wasn’t all bad, was it, Scully?”

She doesn’t have to think. Her response is as immediate and as involuntary as a heartbeat. “No…it wasn’t.”

She finds his hand without trying and listens to the sound of their mingled breathing as the sky falls around them.

cc @today-in-fic

[fiapartridge]

You said will and daisy are mine by Taylor swift coded how so?

omfg i've been waiting for this ask

You were in college, working part-time, waiting tables Left a small town, never looked back I was a flight risk, with a fear of fallin' Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts

daisy has always been scared of love (even though she has so much to give). her parents didn't really express their love as they always expected the best from their kids in everything they do: in school, in athletics, in being a good person in general - so she didn't want to be in a relationship where it would just end up in heartbreak

that's why she was so reluctant to be with will (she hated him for a while, but after hanging out with him without gabe around 24/7, she realized that he wasn't that bad - and that she really liked him)

I say, "Can you believe it?" As we're lyin' on the couch The moment, I can see it Yes, yes, I can see it now

daisy and will confessed their feelings during the summer before her senior year (+ the summer before will's 1st year at college -> they confessed their feelings at the draft) & they officially got together (in secret) during her senior year & they went public during her first year at bc.

they were hanging out in will's apartment the day they went public and they were holding hands and cuddling on the couch & it was the first time that they could be affectionate without hiding anything. "can you believe it?" daisy beamed up at will, her hands raking through his blonde hair. "we don't have to hide anymore." will smiled softly before leaning in to kiss the happy girl. "i'm so incredibly happy that i can call you mine."

Do you remember, we were sittin', there by the water? You put your arm around me for the first time You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

daisy's always been careful. she watched out for herself. her sister, lili, was one of her best friends but she barely hung around the house anymore after she left for college, and her older brothers, jeremy and jacob, were there sometimes, but she never felt close to them - there were no similarities, nothing that bonded them other than the fact that they lived under the same roof and had the same parents. gabe was her protector. he made sure she was safe and careful - he never let anything bad happen to her. they bonded over music artists, movies, and their weekly drives to the lookout only they knew of.

gabe and lili protected and cared for her because her parents weren't there to do it. yanic perreault cared for one thing and one thing only: hockey & 4/5 kids fell into that category. the last kid was long forgotten, only added into conversations when they asked her how her grades were doing and if she was still doing well in ballet.

hell, they never even went to her ballet performances. she would book out a whole row for her family and the only face she would see in that row was gabe's- every single time.

so daisy was careful. because if she wasn't careful, who was going to remind her to be? gabe was going off to college so he wouldn't be there as much and lili only came home every couple months. if daisy was lucky, she would see lili 4 times a year rather than the usual 3. so if no one was there to check her, she had to do it herself.

she never went out past midnight, she never missed out on an assignment, she never went to any parties - at one point of her life, she was sort of floating through the motions.

but when she hung out with will, it was like all of that was gone. she didn't care about coming home at 2 am, or sneaking into closed beaches, or going to parties and having a drink. when she was with will, she felt alive - and she wanted to feel that way everyday.

Flash forward, and we're takin' on the world together And there's a drawer of my things at your place You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

she has a box of her things at will's apartment: extra clothes, a toothbrush, a loofa, a hair brush, all of her snacks are in the kitchen - will's bedroom isn't just his. you can see daisy in there, too.

will understood why she was so reluctant to trust him, to be in a relationship and admit that she's fallen for him - and he was okay with it. he didn't need her to be ready at that exact second. he would wait for her - because she was someone worth waiting for.

And we got bills to pay We got nothin' figured out When it was hard to take Yes, yes This is what I thought about

will was daisy's first bf. she didn't know what she was doing or if anything she was doing was right. but will promised to her that they would figure it out together.

And I remember that fight, two-thirty a.m. 'Cause everything was slipping right out of our hands I ran out, crying, and you followed me out into the street

Braced myself for the goodbye 'Cause that's all I've ever known Then, you took me by surprise You said, "I'll never leave you alone"

when will told daisy that he was moving to san jose after his second year at bc, she was already bracing herself for heartbreak so when the time came, it wouldn't hurt so bad.

she expected him to break up with her. to realize that he didn't want to be with a girl that wasn't there for him 24/7, that was across the country, that wouldn't pack up her whole life to be with him. but when he told her that he wasn't just going to leave her alone, that he wasn't going to give up on their relationship, she realized that he was the kind of guy you don't let go of, that you don't let out of your grasp no matter how hard the situation is, that he was the best thing that's ever been hers.

[hella-free-space]

Pass the happy along! When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and then send it to the last 10 people in your activity! :D

Five Things that Make Me Happy:1 ALL OF Y’ALL, DUHsrsly tho, I love all the comments and messages and asks that y’all leave :’) I genuinely enjoy interacting and sharing this hobby with all of you. Seeing all of your tanks, getting advice, reading posts, and everything inbetween helps me to grow as a fishkeeper! Thank you! :)I’m also really glad that I’ve found a social media platform where I can be a total geek about anything that I like and find like-minded people who I can geek out with! :)

2 MY MUTUALSy’all know who you are ;D I’ve managed to make a few really good friends on tumblr and they have a special place in my heart ^-^

3 MY PETSI have a dog (Lulu), a kitten (Hana), 3 bettas (Moriarty, Triton, Bubbles), and like a TON of nerite snails (Lestrade, Hombre, Mack, Scotter, Freddy, Albert). 

4 COMPUTER SCIENCEme and cs have a love-hate relationship. when it’s good? it’s fan-freaking-tastic *3* doing cool stuff like makin websites and coding smol projects n stuff~ when it’s bad? i want to bang my head against the wall and cry because the compiler is an asshole and what bugs? WHERE ARE THE BUGS!? and why you gotta throw me them segfaults bruh? ;n; okay, maybe I just have a love-hate relationship with c. 

5 THE PEOPLE IN MY PERSONAL LIFEmy friends and family and loved ones that aren’t really involved in tumblr or in fishkeeping? i love them too (even if they think I’m ‘the crazy fish lady’ lol I only got 3 fish I’m gonna need some more fish if I’m gonna live up to that title) :3

[wri0thesley]

sparring practise - sorbet x reader x gelato

you realise how helpless you are after an attempted burglary, and sorbet and gelato attempt to help you defend yourself. things do not go as planned. 

warnings: not sfw. reader is gender neutral and neutral of body. mentions of fighting, guns, knives, blood, home invasion, choking, cannibalism, serial killing, violence, general sorbet and gelato type warnings. 

yes this is self indulgent no i do not care

The home you share with Sorbet and Gelato is cloaked in civility. It’s in a nice neighbourhood that has a low rate for crime, and Sorbet dutifully tends to the flower beds – Gelato paints your front door in a shade of yellow that makes the neighbours whisper under their breaths even more than the nature of the relationship the three of you share, but nobody comes out and says it because as a whole, you seem like three perfectly well-adjusted and functional members of society who keep to yourselves.

They figure that Sorbet and Gelato work nights, perhaps as a security guards or some kind of manual labour – in the dark, bloodstains can look like all kinds of different things. They greet you when you go to the supermarket and gather your shopping, not blinking when you buy another new sharpening steel with the laugh that all three of you are foodies, and you seem to have an unfortunate habit of breaking them--

The house is your domain. The careful windows, the flower boxes, the neatly vacuumed carpets and the sigh as you stare at Gelato’s muddy boot prints in the entrance hall. They do their best – but sometimes, it is half past one in the morning, and they are weary and simply want to come to bed and embrace you.

The basement, though . . .

That is Sorbet and Gelato’s domain, and you are very rarely in it.

Not because you disapprove of what they do – but because they worry about you, you think. You are smaller than they are, not as scarred, not quite hardened by the years of their past.

“It’s better if you don’t get involved in Passione shit,” Gelato has said, a hundred times. “We need you here, amore! Who fuckin’ knows what we’d do without you?”

“He’s right,” Sorbet has intoned, wrapping his arms around both of your waists. “Bad enough we’re involved.”

“You love it!” Gelato accuses, leaning into Sorbet’s shoulder despite it. Sorbet’s mouth tilts at the corners, a small smile on his face. You know that a hundred men or perhaps more have had that smile be the last thing they see, Sorbet’s eyes dark, his face streaked with blood. It should strike fear into your heart – but all it ever does is make you want to poke his cheek, kiss him until you can feel the curve of his lips echoing all over you.

“Yes,” he says simply. “I do.”

Sorbet and Gelato keep their weapons down here, mounted on the wall. There’s an iron-topped table like the kind one would find in a butcher’s shop beneath the knives, shining brightly despite how often you’ve poked your head down there to tell them dinner is ready and seen it practically bathed in blood. The training mats to one side of the room, a table and chairs and fridge on the other side. Opposite the side of the room with the table and chairs are four iron manacles set into the brickwork, for times when hits have to be taken home and interrogated before being brought to an end – and for some of Sorbet and Gelato’s other outside of work activities, though they don’t talk to you much about those.

And tonight, you are here too.

“You leave me a gun in the bureau,” you’d said to Gelato, a night after a would-be attacker had attempted to burgle you, seeing that your house was neat and pretty and hearing on the grapevine that one homeowner was often alone. “But if someone overpowers me, I’m useless--”

(Sorbet and Gelato had not treated the man kindly. The basement is soundproofed, but you had still heard rhythmic thumping, and the next morning Sorbet had come into the kitchen with several unusual cuts of meat.

“They won’t fit in the fridge down there,” he’d said. Sorbet does most of the cooking. His meals are always delicious.)

It had been Sorbet’s idea to try sparring with you.

“We could leave you some knives too,” Gelato had suggested. “Maybe some other guns? A chainsaw?” and Sorbet had had to point out that none of those things would actually assuage your fears – in fact, if the perpetrator managed to wrangle them off you, you were left much worse off facing a chainsaw than you would be if you had never had one in the first place.

Gelato is closer to your height, so Sorbet makes him wrap his fists and take off his shirt. You do your best not to stare at his torso too much, though he is all lean, wiry muscle dotted with scars and starbursts that you have kissed a thousand times over. He sees you looking and gives you one of his most manic grins, his teeth all sharp – you repress the shiver that runs through you at that, trying to remind yourself you are here to learn and not merely to ogle your boyfriend. Though he does look very good, with his gold hair all tousled and a rush in his eyes that you always see when he feels like he has the dominant position.

Sorbet had taken a seat at first and told you to approach Gelato as if he were hostile, to see if you could get a punch in and so they could work on that – you had made a valiant attempt, despite every bit of common sense you had immediately whispering that Gelato was a predator and you were a prey animal.

You had not been surprised when he had flipped you easily, and you had landed on your back on the training mats with a great thump of air, all of the breath knocked out of you. One of Gelato’s heavy military grade boots had landed, gently, on your abdomen, as he’d bent over you with his eyes glinting in the fluorescent lighting of the basement.

“You look cute like that!” He’d laughed. “Come on! You can do better than this, tesoro!”

He’d been delighted as you’d dragged yourself back up, and as you had made attempt after attempt to get ahead of him. All of them had inevitably ended with you on your knees, or on your back – or once against a wall with a knife far too close to your back for comfort, Gelato’s hand easily around your throat.

That one had almost pushed you to the brink, your breath coming in little pants, a hot jolt of arousal coursing through you at just how Gelato was looking down on you. Gelato had obviously felt it too, because his grin had widened just a little, pressing closer to you so you’d felt the stiff, hot heat of something in his fatigues pressing heavily against your thigh--

“Come here,” Sorbet says. He’s stood up from the chair now, his hands coming to unbutton his own shirt. He is not quite as covered in scars as Gelato is – the blond is more reckless, and you have gathered his previous military experience was more dangerous than . . . whatever Sorbet did, after leaving his church school. That does not make any difference to the fact he is broad and muscled, sculpted from training and years of violence. “You’re not starting right. Your stance is all wrong.”

“I started that last one sittin’ on the floor to give ‘em a chance,” Gelato says, breathlessly, as he peels himself away from you and your hand flies to your throat, recalling the echo of Gelato’s calloused fingers. It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve had one of their hands about their necks, but . . . well. It never gets old, does it? “’N I’m doing fine.”

“You have experience behind you, caro,” Sorbet’s tone is patient. “Of course you do.”

Gelato grins as he gets back into position opposite you, clenching his fist.

“Sorbetto,” his tone is sing-song, wheedling. “You’re not gonna tell me what a good job I’m doin’? C’mooooon--”

Sorbet chuckles, crossing the room to wrap an arm around Gelato’s smaller form, using one hand to tip up his face and place a chaste kiss on the tilt of his crooked nose. Gelato’s had two broken noses in the past six months.

“You know you’re doing wonderfully,” he coos at his boyfriend, who dutifully reddens despite asking for the praise. “But that’s not what we’re here for, is it?”

“No,” Gelato admits, with a sigh – he looks at you, and he gives you a nod. “You’re not doing too badly! Look, Sorbet could knock me down without blinking, if you’re gonna learn from him, some low-life fuckin’ thief is gonna be a piece of cake.”

Sorbet kisses him on the sweaty mass of his pale curls and comes to you.

“Here,” Sorbet murmurs, getting in very close to you. “Your feet are too far apart.” One of his feet kicks gently at your own, forcing you to widen your hips. He grabs a hold of those next, rearranging the tilt, his body so close that you can feel the heat radiating from his chest. Your breath catches as he takes your wrist, helping you curl your fingers into a fist. “Not too tight, don’t put your thumb inside or you’ll break it--”

He’s bent over you, his dark gaze on your hand – and you feel the puff of air he dispels in a breath, warming your neck and shoulder. You can barely breathe. Your heart is beating ten to the dozen.

You know Gelato is turned on – you’d felt that when you were pinned against the wall. You hadn’t realised until Sorbet had come up behind you that watching you was doing the exact same thing to him.

“Alright,” Sorbet says. “When you throw the punch, aim to get it through him, you’ll need the follow through.” You nod, but your throat is dry and your head is spinning.

“Yeah,” you say, “I will.”

Sorbet gives you a pat on the shoulder, before pausing and leaning in to whisper against your ear;

“Aim for his ribs. He’s got a weak spot, left side. You should be able to kick him and sweep him off-balance too.” A hand on your hip drags down, squeezing your ass. “If you manage it, he’ll fuck you into next week.”

“Don’t give ‘em too much of an advantage,” Gelato says. “Can I rush on them now?”

Sorbet gives a small smile again.

“Be my guest,” he says, but he does not go back to his chair – instead, he steps to one side so he can observe. Gelato bounces on the balls of his feet, all buzzing and unrestrained energy. You keep your fists as Sorbet told you to, re-running everything you’ve been told about punching today--

And Gelato moves like a wild animal, chaotic and quick. You dodge one of his blows by inches, sliding your foot forward towards him to alter your balance slightly, your dominant hand coming out with as much force as you can muster, everything you can remember about how to hold your fists running through your mind as it connects hard with Gelato’s left rib and the blond sputters.

Kick. Sweep. Under the ankle, despite his heavy boots--

Gelato stumbles to one side, balance lost, coughing – and then Sorbet is in the fray too, pushing you down in between the two of them so that you’re trapped between two of his legs and topple onto Gelato. The blond snarls hungrily, grabbing a handful of Sorbet’s hair and dragging him into a hungry kiss.

Sorbet’s stiff erection digs into the meat of your ass whilst Gelato’s digs into your front, stuck between the two of them, your glory at getting Gelato off of his feet seeming much less important than the frantic beating of your heart.

“You told them about my ribs,” Gelato grumbles. “Asshole.”

“Your asshole,” Sorbet reminds him, and kisses him again, before pulling away to wrap his arms about your middle instead. “Besides.” Sorbet’s voice turns low and smug. “You can’t tell me you didn’t notice . . .?”

Gelato snickers. He lets go of Sorbet’s hair to cup your face roughly.

“Cucciolo mia,” he says. “How long have you wanted to be fucked?”

Your face grows hot, but that just makes him grin harder, sparks fly from his dark eyes. He grinds his crotch into your thigh and you swallow the thickness that rises in there.

“M’sorry,” you say, after a moment, as Sorbet joins in with the bullying, grinding his hips against your ass. “I--”

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Gelato says, with a laugh like a rusty iron grate. That’s one of those laughs that his victims hear – one you should be scared of, but that makes nothing rise in you except want. “As you can probably feel--” Sorbet’s lips brush your ear, teeth worrying at the earlobe so you moan aloud. “We’ve got the same kinda problem ourselves. Y’know.” His teeth flash, sharp, bright, and you imagine them coated in blood. “If y’wanna help out some.”

You don’t respond to him in words. Instead, you press your lips against his hard, and when he bites hard enough to draw forth blood you moan.

---

When everything is over and done with, you lay sweaty and panting in between both of your boyfriends – Sorbet’s front pressed protectively against your back, Gelato clinging to your waist as he tucks his head beneath your chin.

“Next time,” Gelato breathes, already looking ahead, as if you three did not just spend several hours tangled hot and heavy within each other, biting and moaning and groaning and making the entire basement smell like sex. “We should teach ‘em to fire a rifle. I think they’ve got potential.”

“Mm,” Sorbet says, very low, making his chest reverberate against your spine in a way that has you shivering. “I think you’re right.”

[xsarcasticwriterx]

Wonderwall-part 2

Summary: Y/n find out something that changes the course of her relationship and life forever.

Pairing: tony stark x reader x bucky barnes

Warnings: angst and angst and angst, panic attack, swearing, some bitter sweet fluff,

note: I know its a weird change cause i went from she/her to you and stuff but i like writing you more than her so here we are pfft also i mention civil war but this story doesn't fit in the timeline it just fit for the scenario.

Wonderwall masterlist

You and tony sat on the ship with IVs being stuck into you. bucky sat next to you “hey... wanna talk about it? he ask softly. you shake your head. “not now not yet” you say with tears falling down your face. you had cheated on him. you cheated on the love of your life the person you'd been with for 3 years. Not only that but with someone who has tried to kill bucky on multiple occasions. Tony moved next to you. “Hey...” he said with a sigh. “Promise me we will never ever tell them about this” you say with a panic. he nods frantically. “that's exactly what i was going to say.” and with that you two spent the rest of the time in silence.

You sat in your room. It was 4 days after you got back. you felt weird and had been getting sick for the past few days. The others assumed it was due to your body still adjusting to being on land with consistent water and food. but you had other ideas as to why this could be happening.

Your hands shook as you paced the room. “fuck fuck fuck ok it'll be ok” you said to yourself. you walked into the bathroom and opened the pregnancy test box. panic was all you felt as you took it. you set a timer and walked back to your room. you continued to pace. what would you do if you were pregnant. what would you tell buck? what would you tell tony?! you two promised not to tell anyone. the timer went off. you put your head into your hands. “ok its probably negative i mean what are the chances” you say walking back to the bathroom. you heart was going at a pace that was scary. your whole body was shaking. you grab the test and flip it over.

positive.

you stared at the 2 lines. you felt tears fall down your face and your breathing become rapid. a panic attack that's what this was. you fell to the ground as your breathing became uneven. “no no no no no” you say getting louder. you curl up and feel your whole body shake. you try desperately to grab for every breath but its like inhaling nothing. you start to cough from lack of oxygen and tears. snot ran down your face. you grab onto your hair and scream into your legs. the door immediately opens and bucky rushes to your side. 

“hey its ok im here” he says putting his hand on your shoulder. “count with me ok” he says. you barely hear him it's like being underwater but you nod with what strength you have. “ now 1″ he says. “1″ you reply dryly your throat is dry and your lungs feel empty.

you two count to 10 slowly. you gradually catch your breath. the shaking stops and you feel more exhausted than ever. he pulls you close. “wanna talk about it?” he ask kindly. you look down seeing the pregnancy test and bucky sees it too. he grabs it and turns it over. his breathing gets deeper and he stands up. he walks back and forth and nods. “tony?” he ask with an angered tone. you nod. his nodding and pacing gets faster. 

he walks out the room. you stand up quickly and chase after him. “buck bucky don't” you say quickly seeing him walk towards the one door that would fuck up everything. he nods hard and fast. You feel the tears fall faster and faster. “bucky stop it!” you yell at him. Tony opens the door and immediately is met with a metal fist. “fuck!” tony says holding his nose. Bucky pushes him again which shoves tony down. bucky get on top and keeps hitting him. “bucky! stop!” you say going towards him you try to just pull him but that does nothing.ok next plan. you grab his shoulders “Stop!” you say using your powers. 

you keep pulling him and he does stop. he falls back into your lap. “you promised me you'd never use your powers on me” he says looking up at you. “i'm sorry buck” you say tears falling still. his head falls back onto your stomach. tony looks up at you his face bloody and beat. the metal fist definitely did not help. he looks at you confused. “im pregnant” you say to him. you see his eyes widen. “wha-what” he says shaking his head. 

“shes fucking pregnant with your damn child” bucky says trying to pull out of your arms. you panic and hold him with all your strength. “sleep” you say feeling him go limp in your arms. tony just blinks looking down at the floor. “your....” he says trailing off. his breathing gets deeper.

Doors open in the hall. natasha is the first to come out then steve. Bruce slowly emerges. Wanda and vision come out in a worry. Clint is the last to come out hes geared up ready for a fight. “what's going on?” nat asks. they see tony and bucky's bloody fist. “I thought we were past this?” steve ask in a panic. you look up at wanda and natasha. 

Steve takes bucky away from your lap and takes him to the main room and lays him on the couch. You stand up with natasha and wanda's help. vision,clint, and bruce still look concerned but less worried. “anyone gonna tell us what happened?” clint ask.  

Bruce hands tony a rag to put on his possibly broken nose. “uh let's go sit on the couch.”  wanda says leading you to the main room. bruce helps tony to the couch. “I should...” you say nodding to bucky. They nod as you slowly go to him. you put your hands softly on his head. “wake” you say and immediately bucky shoots up angry and tears edging his eyes.

“buck buck hey calm” steve says grabbing bucky's shoulders. Buck stares at steve angrily. “sooo?” clint ask sitting on the couch. nat and wanda sat down too. you were in front of all of them. “tony and I spent a month and a half up there.” you start off. everyone sits up more. neither you or tony had spoken of your time up there sense yalls return. 

“We saw no end and I was about to have a meet and greet with death himself. Tony was giving up his food and water to keep me going” you say looking down messing with your hands. “I don't understand why this led to bucky beating she shit out of tony.” Clint ask. “let her finish” steve said. “We got closer than ever and had agreed that there was no chance at us returning. We were desperate to stop the pain to just be with someone be cared for before the end. We slept together.” you state. bucky's breathing gets more rapid and his hands form fist. everyone starts to yell at tony natasha tried to silence it which only made her a target.

“Shut up!” you say yelling at them. They look at you surprised. “shut up before we end up with another battle and let me fucking finish what the hell i'm saying before attacking tony which by the way it takes two to tango so shut up please.” you say looking at the floor hands making fist. everyone turns to you and shuts up even bucky and tony.

“Now I am pregnant with tony child. Now before you all start yelling and attacking tony just try to understand the situation.” you say. “Understand the situation?!” bucky yells. steve tries to calm him. “no no just no ok. He mmm he saw her vulnerability and used it!” bucky says standing up and pointing at tony.

“Buck no that's not it he didn't do that. I saw a world without you with no one except me and tony on that stupid ship dying slowly and mercilessly.” you say feeling tears falling again. natasha stood up and walked to you. “I know your pissed as hell at tony and at y/n but right now” she points at tony “you are going to be a father” and she points at bucky “and if you stay, which i think you should, are going to be a step father so let's just try to deal with that right now.”

Natasha held you by her side. Bruce stood up “I’ll help it whatever way I can.” he said. “me too” clint said standing. “I will too” vision said standing. Wanda stood “You always got me.” she said with a small smile. steve looked at bucky then tony and then you. He sighed and stood up “you got me too” he said with a nod. 

you swallow “thank you all of you” you say softly then look to tony and bucky. “You definitely have me i'm not going to bail on my child just because its a complicated situation.” tony said standing up. bucky let a soft growl out. “buck?” you ask hesitantly. He looks up at you and shakes his head. He walks off and soon yall hear a door slam.

You dropped your head. “Give him time” nat whispered to you. you nod. she nods to steve and steve nods and walks after bucky. natasha takes you to your room nodding to tony who nods back and walks to the kitchen. sittin on your bed you look down at your stomach. there's a person in there well soon they'll be. nat sat next to you “how're you feeling?” she ask. “I don't know...Im going to have a child and it's not the child of who i always pictured it as. I broke the love of my life's heart and broke tony and I’s promise.”

“bucky just needs time is all steve is talking to him and i'm sure tony understands that you couldn't keep it a secret you two made that promise when you didn't know you were pregnant and don't worry you have all of us here to help and protect you.” nat said. “I’m an avenger...I had a father who used me as a testing subject and gave me powers i couldn't control till i was 17 how am i supposed to be a parent? Their father is a billionaire who is ready to die at any shot and their possible step father was born in 1917 and was brainwashed to be a murderer.” you spew out.

“you'll be ok we are all broken and a mess but together we can raise this child. I promise. We will figure it out” she says rubbing your arm. The door opens and in comes tony with a glass of water. “figured you could use this” he says walking towards you. nat looks at you and you nod. she stands up and walks out. 

Tony sits next to you. “i'm sorry” you say immediately scared of tony being angry. “no no don't apologize you had to say something its not like you could just avoid questions when your stomach grows.” he says with a chuckle. “y/n i want you to know i am going to be the best damn father i can be and if you and bucky stay together...because you and bucky will stay together i know he will have a huge role in that child's life and i'm so glad they get 3 parents who love them more than anything in this world. I will protect the with my life I will not die for them. I will live for them.” 

“Tony...” is all you can get out through choked sobs. you hug him holding him close. “thank you” you say pulling away “what about pepper?” you ask concerned. “I’ll tell her just need to let this” he moves his hand to the room “settle before any more people get mad” he says. the door slowly opens and an exhausted, messy haired, red eyed, wrapped hand, bucky opens the door. upon seeing tony he sighs.

“can I speak to her alone?” he says with no emotion. tony nods and walks past bucky out of the room. tony closes the door behind him and walks towards the bed.

he sits next to you and sighs. “buck-” you starts but he cuts you off “don't....let me speak” he says. “I am pissed as hell at you dont get me wrong...but i understand...you didn't see a possibility as being back here all you saw was death. I will be the best step father i can and the best boyfriend i can be. I am far from forgiving you but I still love you and I don't want us to end and this child is amazing news even if they aren't mine. I will be as much of a father to this kid as I can be and I will raise them as my own. I'm here for the long run.” he says looking at you. you smile and hug him. “I love you too bucky...thank you” you say. 

This journey was far from over but for now the world felt damn good. This kid would have 3 parents who love them more than anything or anyone in this world.

[barbasbodaciousbeard]

IF You Love Someone, Let Them Go: Part 5

Summary: Since starting with SVU, Sonny hadn’t kept much terribly close to the chest. The squad knew about his family, growing up on Staten Island, the classes at Fordam. What was hidden was why he didn’t date. Sonny Carisi was also separated from his childhood sweetheart, a separation neither ever took to divorce. They had the same haunts. They’d grown up neighbors. Their paths crossed every few months, and divorce talks would turn into reminiscing would turn into a night spent together, sometimes sex sometimes just talking until the early morning. It always ended with one of them waking up alone however. How will that change when the squad finds out?

Pairings: Sonny Carisi x Original Character,

1 - 2 - 3 - 4

March 2015

“You’ll see me two times in three weeks,” Victoria smiled, wine in hand as she settled in the seat beside Sonny. It was Tommy and Bella’s engagement party, which Gianni was treating as a bridal shower. The whole engagement would only have been three months, and it seemed the two younger Carisis had cost her the months of parties and planning Gina and Teresa had given her. At least Sonny and Victoria had gotten married in a church a year after they eloped. Tommy and Bella would be getting married outdoors, while she was pregnant. Everyone pretended not to notice the slightest bit of a bump, easily confused for weight gain if you didn’t know, when Gianna was around before fussing over Bella the minute she left.

“I’m a lucky bastard.”

“I hope you told your squad.”

“We’re all going out the Saturday before. I’m doing it then.”

“Really pushed it off, huh?” she asked, and he didn’t like the hurt she was trying to hide. 

“The cases got heavy during the holidays. And then we busted up a sex ring and I was undercover. That also felt like a weird time. I kinda realized there wasn’t going to be a good one.”

“Yeah. Tommy and Bella inviting them kinda twisted your arm, huh?”

“Yeah. But it’s good. The last step.”

“They all coming?”

“Olivia for sure. I think Rollins and Amaro are coming together, and then honestly? Barba will when he finds out there’s gossip. He’s kind of a dick, but an amazing attorney. I really wanna shadow him sometime, but I’m too green to ask, y’know?”

“Yeah. I’m sure it’ll be nice when the time comes. And I think it’ll make Bella and Tommy happy. If it weren’t for them, it coulda been bad.”

“I got brother brain instead of cop brain, so yeah. I still can’t believe she’s having a baby.”

“It’s wild. And I know you don’t like Tommy, but he’s got a good heart.”

“And got locked up.”

“Everyone has their own problems.” 

“Yeah,” he muttered. “Same deal as Gina’s wedding? No marriage problems talk. Just have fun and be sentimental.”

“Deal. Though if your squad asks, I’m not ignoring it.”

“Fair. But also tell the cute stories.”

“I’ll bring the photo albums.” He laughed, arm settled around her shoulders. When they’d moved out, she’d taken to collecting all the pictures of them and adding them to a photo album. She’d gotten copies of dozens of pictures from his mom, who had always kept them organized by year in boxes. When she left, Victoria took them, and he missed being able to thumb through the pages. There were multiple volumes at this point. The pages got harder to find. She didn’t scrapbook. Instead, she used the pages with four slots each, keeping them up as time went on. He wouldn’t be surprised if there were pictures from Gina’s wedding in the most recent. Maybe there were even pictures of them separate from each other to bridge the gap. 

“Please don’t give Rollins and Barba that ammo. They’ll steal the really bad ones.”

“I like the ones from prom the best. Could we look any more 2004?”

“We looked damn good.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s not super dated.”

“True. It’s okay. We got the pictures from Gina’s wedding. We don’t look like we’re separated in them.”

“True. You got the dimples on full display.”

“I seen the dresses Bella picked. I know you hate it. You won’t like this one so much.”

“I love it.” He raised a brow at the feigned enthusiasm. “Dom, that pink is gonna be so bad on a pale red head.”

“I like you in pink.”

“You like me in anything.”

“Because you look good in anything. Dark green’s my favorite though.”

“Mine too. Thank God for Gina. I’ll wear that dress again.”

“I’m sure I’ll have to go to some fundraising thing…”

“You asking me to be your date before you even know?”

“You’re always who I ask to be my date.”

“I better be. We’re married.”

“Gettin’ awful territorial, Mrs. Carisi.”

“You put your ring on your hand today.”

“And you put them both on the right finger.”

“It’s almost like we’re making progress.”

“I want to tell you. I’m ready. But not until after the wedding.”

“Why then?”

“In case you don’t look at me all happy anymore.”

“Literally nothing you could tell me could make me not want to work on it. Unless you cheated on me.”

“You’re the first, last, and only.”

“You are too.”

“We oughta stop being sappy. People are coming and we got put with people we don’t know.”

“Gross. It’s like ma is mad at me.”

“I’m just glad she knew better than to try and make us sit apart. I’m sittin’ with my wife.”

“You two aren’t even pretending to be awkward,” Bella teased, leaning to hug Victoria and then her brother. “This nonsense almost over?”

“Butt out,” Sonny warned, but he was still smiling. “Strictly married talk.” 

“Two weeks and ya can’t use that excuse.”

“Then it’ll be strictly talks with my wife.”

“Stop, Dom,” Victoria laughed. “You look beautiful, Bella. How you feeling?”

“Kid’s making me tired as hell. I’m excited though. Tommy talks to her every night. It’s been hard, after what that bitch did. But he’s doing so good.”

“I can tell. I’m just glad you’re so happy.”

“I really am, T.” 

“You look beautiful. I like this dress a lot.”

“Thanks. I like feeling all bridal.” Sonny was content to watch Bella and Victoria catch up. Over the last year, he’d come to realize every time they talked came around to when Victoria was taking him back. He probably hadn’t helped that any, constantly acting like he didn’t know why she’d gone. Thanksgiving had changed that. He stood up to his mom more, told her he was in therapy, and openly defended Victoria. The last part wasn’t new, but this time it was specific to her decision to leave. He’d told his family in no uncertain terms that, while he thought she should’ve told him earlier instead of letting the hurt fester, he had done something wrong and he was trying to fix that so they could start over. His mom and dad didn’t like that. Generationally, bottling up feelings was more acceptable to them. His sisters, on the other hand, hugged him tight and told him they were proud of him. 

Their table filled up quickly as guests arrived, and Sonny was happy to help Victoria keep conversation moving until his parents spoke. That was the plan for tonight. Appetizers, speeches from the bride and groom’s parents, dinner, dessert, and finally dancing and cocktails. It was quickly apparent all the family’s required-but-barely-liked invites went to the table they’d put Victoria and Sonny at, a sure sign Gianna was over dealing with their drama. He was thankful his sister wouldn’t be having assigned seating at the reception for anyone, the bridal party included, though the thought of having Victoria joining his squad at a table made him nervous.

“I thought they’d never go dance,” she said softly against his ear, and Sonny smiled more from the closeness than the sentiment. Damn, it felt good to have her on his team. She wasn’t there day in and out, so these events felt more valuable to him now.

“Right? He’s from dad’s work. Known each other forever. I don’t know why the hell they invited him.” Her hair tickled his cheek as they gossiped, watching the people around the room and nursing their drinks. He decided they didn’t have a heavy case, so he’d tell the squad the next day, that way the giddiness of the evening would still be fresh. When they’d both finished their drinks, he took her hand, pulling her towards the floor. 

“I was comfy,” she protested half heartedly before she realized he’d pulled her up for Sinatra. One hand on his shoulder and the other in his, she let him lead the few moves they’d learned in a ballroom class they’d taken. It had only been a couple years into their marriage, and they took it because it made them feel older and less like imposters. Now, all either could really remember was a boxstep, and their frame was terrible. That didn’t matter though. What did matter was Sonny resting his temple against hers to sing softly against her ear. When one swing tune melted into another, she was grateful Gianna had picked the music for this wedding event. 

“Looks like we get to dance all slow again,” he teased, giving her a spin before holding her close.

“For someone getting mad when we get along, your ma worked real hard for us to get along.”

“She’s just mad it isn’t like when we were kids. If we fought in middle school, she’d give us a pizza, and we’d be over it.”

“Very true,” she grinned, looking up at him. He looked handsome, and after what came out to two years of seeing him deteriorate, she was grateful he was actually getting back to himself. She wasn’t sure if therapy, the job, or the slow progress they were making was the reason, but he was her Sonny again. He kept his hair cropped, face shaved, and smile present.

“You’re staring,” he teased before tightening his grip to dip her. 

“You look good. Like not just handsome. Happy.”

“Thanks,” he smiled softly when he pulled her up again. “I’m learning to process stuff better.”

“That’s good.”

“It sounds messed up, but thank you for leaving. It made me go to therapy. I really wasn’t being good to you, Tor. And I’m sorry for that.”

“I forgive you, Dom. I wasn’t doing a good job talking to you about it. I’m sorry for not pressing until we hit the point of no return.”

“It’s okay,” he said, forehead resting on hers. “I think we’re gonna be okay.”

“Me too.”

“Can we get somebody to take pictures of us?” 

“Bella got a photographer, and he has definitely taken several.”

“This camera shy Sonny or detective Sonny noticing?”

“It’s Sonny seeing Gina tell him to.”

“You ever feel like the kids are trying to get us back together?”

“All the time, doll. You know how often Gina or Teresa go after me? Then Bella meddles. But Mia? She’s 17 and bound and determined she’s going to be the one to talk sense into me. And she kind of is. She actually talked to me about therapy.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. She doesn’t know why but knows my brain shuts down when I try to open up. Heard me tellin Teresa. Said it’s toxic masculinity makin’ me feel like talking about feelings is girly and I gotta get over that if I wanna stay married and making you happy.”

“I ever tell you Mia’s my favorite?”

“She’s got a good head on her shoulders.”

“How long until we can run away and go to a bar?”

“Anybody else left yet?”

“Your cousin Lauren and some of Bella’s friends.”

“What bar you thinking? Because you look too pretty to not take to some classy wine bar.”

“That works for me.”

“Then let’s go tell Bella and Tommy bye.”

“What about Gianna?”

“It’s not her engagement.” Victoria almost felt like they were back in high school and cutting class as they said their goodbyes and got their coats. Why the hell his sister was getting married outdoors in winter was beyond Victoria, but she was grateful for the fact they’d probably end up rained out and inside for the ceremony. Sonny hailed a cab, waving when he saw his mother watching them from a window. 

“She’s pissed, Dom.”

“Too bad. Taking you to a nice wine bar. Ordering a cheese board.”

“You’re making it sound like a date.”

“I been shit and ain’t taken you on one in two years. Can it be?”

“I’d like that.” She was nervous, but it had become apparent he was trying. From what he said, in a couple weeks he’d be willing to open up. He was also communicating with her as it was. Maybe treating the next two weeks as a trial run could be good. Ease into the heavy discussion. He’d mentioned being afraid how she’d react. Maybe if she was always there again, he’d realize she wasn’t leaving. 

“C’mon, whatcha thinking Tor?”

“Just that I’m happy we’re making progress,” she fibbed, lacing their fingers. He looked to their hands and smiled, squeezing her fingers gently. 

“Me too.” Soon enough they were settled at the bar, and Sonny, true to his word, had ordered a bottle of wine and a cheese board. She was turned to face him, legs carefully crossed. He had the leg towards the room on the footrest around the base of her stool. She was boxed in, but it felt reassuring when paired with his hand on her leg. 

“So what’s this new squad like?” Sonny had never quite settled in anywhere since he’d become a detective, and he seemed smitten with his spot in Manhattan. 

“So Barba is the ADA. Covered him. Liv is Lieutenant. Nobody ever really gave me a shot before. Apparently I can be abrasive.” He threw the hand not on her leg up in mock affront, and she laughed. 

“You? Never.”

“I know,” he said, ignoring her sarcasm. “Rollins is cool. She’s been through a lot. She’s from Georgia though. I know you mostly grew up here, but you get that same Southern catty as her. Means it doesn’t get to me, because I know the secret. That she doesn't really mean it. Amaro is cool too. Had some problems too. Come to think of it, I don’t know why I’m acting like they won’t understand or accept our marriage. Fin’s been there longest, other than Lieu.”

“They treating you well?”

“They are. I think I’m finally not just a newbie. Barba gets mean. He’s not southern snarky though, so I think he means it.”

“I’ll fight him.”

“You’d win. He’s got a big mouth, but I don’t think he’d be scrappy.”

“I’m just real proud of you.”

“That means a lot to me, Tor.”

“You worked real hard. I watched that. And you’re going to be an amazing attorney.”

“I think I wanna try for the DA’s office if I pass the bar next year.”

“You’ll pass the bar.”

He rolled his eyes, pouring her another glass of wine as he topped off his own. When the night was over, he walked her to her door, kissing her goodnight and going to his own apartment. Sonny had decided that if it was going to be a date, he’d be a gentleman. Things were still delicate, and he had to leave early when she had a day off. He did text her the next morning to say he’d enjoyed their date, not wanting to have the wedding be the next time they talked. When he arrived at the precinct, he went to Olivia’s door, knocking. 

“What’s going on, Carisi?”

“Since the squad’s coming to my sister’s weddin’ now, I felt like I gotta tell everybody I’m married and it’s really confusing.”

“Since you hadn’t mentioned it, I assumed you were getting a divorce.”

“You knew?”

“I did get sent your file when you started here. You know, I do read those.”

“I messed up bad, y’know? She’s a baker, right? And I’ve known her since I was five. Got married when we were eighteen. It was all good until I got to homicide.” Oliva gave him a sympathetic, knowing smile. “What I told you guys? How the women got to me? I was scared if I told her, I’d, like, tarnish her. Make her see all the bad stuff we see. It’s amazing talking to her, Lieu. She never stopped seeing the best in people. And I stopped acting like her husband because I thought just being close to me would transfer all of it. She left me, but we’re in a weird limbo. She’s in the wedding, and we act married when we see each other. This’ll only be the sixth time in a year and a half. But I don’t want her to meet everyone and they’re all like who the hell are you.”

“This job can make that part of life incredibly difficult, Carisi. I feel the same way sometimes about Noah. What if they take him? What if I’m so paranoid he grows up paranoid? Or god forbid he sees pictures? I try to refocus it. I think about how he can make light in those bad times. I don’t know much about her, but I’m guessing she does too?”

“She does.”

“Tell her, Carisi. If she knows something is wrong, she’ll be able to get through it.”

“I’m telling her after the wedding. My therapist said it might make it less stressful. I’ve been afraid she’ll change her mind when I tell her.”

“It’ll work out. It is a smart idea to make sure everyone knows. Barba’s coming with me, so I’ll make sure he knows and keep him in line.”

“Thanks Lieu. For this whole talk, but also giving me a shot.”

Tag List: @cycat4077 @fear-less-write-more

[risthebrave]

day 16; “blush”

free-form; college au, omega louis, alpha harry

happy birthday @moonyblouie!

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m hungry,” Liam says, grimacing as he starts packing up his things. They’ve been studying here at the library for nearly three hours already but Louis feels like he’s barely made a dent. “Do you want to grab something to eat?”

“Thanks, but no thanks,” Louis says immediately, eyes darting to the library entrance as the doors swing open and someone enters. Except it’s just an omega girl, messing with her scarf. He slumps, disappointed. He only glances back at the others when Zayn clears his throat, flushing apologetically. “You all go ahead though,” he assures them.

“You’re going to stay here?” Liam says, frowning. “I think we’ve studied enough, don’t you think? My eyes are burning, for fuck’s sake.”

“Just want to go over some of these concepts one last time,” Louis mumbles, ducking his head to hide the blush coloring his cheeks when Zayn sends him a knowing look.

“We can technically run through some more flashcards on the way,” Perrie chimes in, scrolling through her phone and most likely searching for a place. “Emma told me about this new place on Fourth that’s apparently really good.”

“No, really it’s fine, go on without me,” Louis stresses, pulling his textbook out of Liam’s reach when he tries to pick it up. “I think I need to do some independent revising anyway.”

“Are you sure, Lou?” Liam asks.

“If you’re really worried about the test, we can meet up again tomorrow,” Perrie says, clearly assuming that Louis is overwhelmed. Well, he is, but not because of that.

“I just really need to study by myself,” he insists. He should have come up with a better excuse for not going out with them and then come back to the library discreetly, he thinks frustratedly. But it’s too late now to backtrack. “Seriously, go on!”

“Just tell them the truth,” Zayn murmurs in a low voice, coughing right after. Louis shoots him a warning glance.

Unfortunately for Louis, Liam and Perrie both caught the exchange. “What?” they both ask in unison.

“Nothing,” Louis squeaks, cheeks turning even more red.

Perrie narrows her eyes, looking from his flustered face to Zayn’s exasperated one. “What is it?”

“It’s nothing. Zayn is stupid,” Louis says. He gestures to emphasize but ends up knocking over his pencil box, sending pencils and highlighters and other random crumpled up pieces of paper spilling onto the floor. He groans, chair dragging against the carpet as he drops to his knees to pick them up.

“It sounds like something,” Perrie continues to needle, crouching down to help him.

“It’s not a big deal,” Louis deflects, shoving a handful of pens back into the pink pouch. “It’s genuinely nothing, actually. There’s nothing to be told, just -”

“Louis is pining over some alpha that sometimes hangs out at the library when his friend is working as an aid,” Zayn blurts.

Louis sighs. “I hate you.”

“An alpha?” Liam exclaims, sounding confused.

“Your future alpha?” Perrie says, perking up immediately. “Lou, you need to tell me everything. Like, now!”

He groans. “There’s nothing to tell,” he grumbles. “He’s just… really cute. And he smells so good. And he doesn’t even know I exist.” He groans again.

“Yet,” Perrie says loudly, getting the attention of a beta from another table that glares at them. “He doesn’t know you exist yet,” she whispers, lips curling up into what Louis has dubbed her ‘scheming’ smile in the past.

“Oh, no,” he says, recognizing the look she sends Zayn. He shakes his head wildly. “No, no, no way. Whatever you’re thinking, it’s a big no.”

“C’mon, Lou, you’ve been fawning over this alpha for a month,” Zayn says and Louis makes an indignant noise, crossing his arms with a pout. “You need to just get it over with and talk to him.”

“Why can’t he talk to me?” Louis whines, tipping his head back with a sigh. “I’ve tried everything. Sitting attractively, looking for books in the aisle next to the one he’s standing in, wearing those low-neck tops that usually work like catnip.”

“Yeah, except every time he even gets close to looking at you, you hide behind a book!” Zayn accuses, narrowing his eyes. “Don’t deny it, I’ve seen it with my own two eyes!”

“That’s not true,” he insists anyway. “Alphas are dumb!”

“Well, that’s true,” Perrie snorts.

“Hey,” Liam complains, brows furrowing. He grimaces, considering. “Actually, that’s fair.”

“Alphas are dumb so you need to make it easy for him,” Perrie says seriously. “Go up to him. Let him get a whiff of your scent and see that pretty neck and he’ll be hooked, I’d bet a million dollars on it.”

Louis turns to Zayn. “I hate you,” he repeats.

“Perrie’s the one making a plan,” he complains, offended.

“I despise you.”

“Both of you, shut up,” Perrie says, clapping her hands together. “So obviously none of us are going to the cafe.” Both Louis and Liam groan, but for two entirely different reasons. “Quiet! This is important.” She turns to Louis with a solemn expression on her face. “What time does he normally show up?”

“Six thirty,” he answers reluctantly.

They all turn to look at the clock at the same time, right as the minute hand joins the hour hand at the big six. It’s six thirty.

“I hate all of you,” Louis decides, dropping his head into his hands.

“Okay, let’s practice what’s going to happen when he walks in,” Perrie rushes, eyes wide. “Lou, what does he look like?”

“What does who look like? What are we talking about again?” he asks, heart pounding in his chest. Any minute now, Harry Styles is going to walk through that door and his friends are going to embarrass him and ruin any chance of him ever being interested in Louis.

“He’s tall. Curly hair. Green eyes,” Zayn offers, and Louis throws the damn pencil case at him. “Dimples too.”

“Liam, pretend to be the alpha,” Perrie commands.

“Hi, I’m the alpha,” Liam says, voice monotone and face blank. Zayn masks his laugh with a cough.

Perrie is not impressed. “Give me something to work with,” she says. “We only have a few minutes and we need a plan.”

“Are we going to watch?” Zayn asks, sounding eager.

“No,” Louis says, right as Perrie and Liam say, “Yes.” He glares at all of them. “Don’t you dare! Harry’s going to think I’m so -”

“So his name is Harry,” Perrie grins. “Louis and Harry sittin’ in a tree -”

“Guys, I’m still hungry,” Liam says woefully, eyeing the clock.

“You know what? Let’s go, Liam,” Louis says, standing up abruptly. “I’m not doing this.”

Perrie and Zayn both protest but he brushes them off, shaking his head. He’ll just stick to his sensual reading tactics and hope it one day works. There’s no way he’s approaching Harry today, especially with his nosy friends in close vicinity.

“Thanks, but no thanks,” he repeats his words from earlier. He grabs his jacket and shrugs it on, pulling his books up and hugging them to his chest. “Liam, let’s -”

He freezes as the library door swings open and Harry steps in. “Shit.”

december word prompt challenge 12/16/20

[ears-awake-eyes-opened]

Wedding Colors (Part 3)

(Hayffie ❤️🧡💛💚💙💖. An exploration of Effie’s evolving character as she faces past and present personal intensities while making preparations for Finnick and Annie’s wedding.)

13:00—lunch. For the first time since the ominous day in July that she’d descended into the gloom of 13, Effie’s belly was full. As weeks had turned into months, she hadn’t felt hunger. She’d picked at meals and pushed unpalatable food around her tray. But now something was different. Flint scraped over steel inside her like the wind across her cheeks that morning. Her spoon repeatedly clinked the bottom of the bowl of squash soup. It took every ounce of restraint to not bring the whole bowl to her mouth and tilt it upward to collect the last drops.

Keenly observant, Cressida noted, “That’s new.”

“What?”

“You finishing a meal here.” She dropped her voice. “Are you pregnant, Trinket?”

Effie’s face flushed scarlet, blushing through burnt cheeks. “Bite your tongue!” she snapped.

Cressida glanced at Pollux, and Effie recognized her own faux pas. “Please excuse me. I wasn’t thinking about...”

Interacting with an Avox who was a regular citizen rather than a servant of the Capitol was still a new experience for her.

Pollux signed, “No problem,” and his brother offered the translation.

Effie returned her attention to the inquisitive filmmaker. “I’m JUST hungry. Must a woman be pregnant in order to finish a bowl of soup?” She whispered “pregnant” as if saying it too loudly might invite the situation. Or just as worrisome, Haymitch could walk in at that moment, hear the word, flip out, and not touch her again. Now that she’d opened the Pandora’s box of sex with him, she didn’t want to put a lid back on it.

“Okay. I get it.” Cressida was intrigued by Effie’s blush, but otherwise mollified. “You like the soup. End of story.”

It was golden orange in color and lightly flavored with spices that tasted like autumn. Ginger was recognizable, but the others were a mystery to Effie. Her experience with cooking was mostly limited to a course she’d taken a decade and a half prior at Charis School of Grace, Beauty, and Charm.

Her mother had insisted on “Finishing School” for Effie after she graduated from the Academy. The summer classes had been a compromise, since her father was resolute in his intention to send her to University. He’d even dipped into his personal inheritance to pay extra tuition when her test scores didn’t qualify her outright for admission.

“Charis will focus Euphemia on the most sophisticated etiquette and deportment, preparing her for marriage into greater wealth,” her mother argued.

“University will prepare Effie for a practical career suited to her strongest skills,” her father contended.

“Grace, beauty, and charm ARE her strongest skills. Face it, dear. Like you, our daughter lacks the talent to be a Gamemaker.”

“She has the talent to be more than a rich man’s wife.”

“If I were the wife of a RICH man, then we wouldn’t be having this conversation, would we?”

Their barbs stung each other. After years of practice, the Trinkets knew just where to aim them. They agreed that Effie needed a path which would secure an optimal future for the family. Neither of them asked her what she wanted.

If they’d asked back then, she would have had one specific answer. And if she was honest with herself now, her deepest desire was exactly the same. If she’d voiced it then, her parents would have sent her to the Asylum first before anything else. So she said nothing about it.

By 18, she’d become a master at the art of knowing when to hold her tongue. She’d internalized the pressure to please her parents and reflect positively on her family’s name and station in society. The burden of doing so was a heavy weight on her shoulders.

Effie’s shoulders ached too from the physical work of gathering and carrying around large sacks of perfect leaves. She daydreamed about a bath full of bubbles followed by a nap on a real bed. Allowing the fantasy was a mistake because then her body screamed for it.

She wondered if even babies were allowed to nap here, or did they get merely a half hour of “reflection” before dinner like everyone else? Did they have daily schedules imprinted on their chubby little arms? Eat. Poop. Sleep. What else did the tiny things do? She’d never paid much attention to them in the Capitol. Had she ever seen a baby in 13? She couldn’t recall.

***

14:00—volunteering. The children would be out of school soon. Plutarch told her to expect them along with anyone who was between work shifts. Coin was allowing more flexibility than usual in order to encourage volunteerism. Effie considered the irony in the word spelled out on her arm in purple ink. Following schedules was mandatory. Once “volunteering” is tattooed on your body, doesn’t it cease to be voluntary?

That place made her head hurt if she thought about it too much. She pulled her rose-tinted sunglasses out of her pocket and put them on, hoping the change in light would temper some of the ache, and help her feel less vulnerable.

“Ready or not, here I go,” she said out loud.

She approached the kitchen staff for permission to use large plastic serving bowls to hold the leaves at the tables. The kitchen manager, a middle aged woman named Cuire, put up resistance, muttering something about needing authorization from the president.

Greasy Sae showed no qualms about interjecting. “Now, those leaves ain’t all that different from a salad. We’ll have the bowls washed again long before dinner service.”

The older woman, with her hair up in a kerchief more plain than Effie’s, carried a stack of serving bowls through the doorway without waiting for the manager’s consent. She returned to the kitchen for more until every serving bowl in 13 was in the dining hall. Cuire pursed her lips but said nothing.

Sae pulled a handful of leaves out of one of the canvas bags and dropped them into a bowl. “The list of procedures here’s a mile long. Sometimes the only way to keep these folks from sayin’ ‘no’ is to just not ask ‘em. And then work fast.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Effie joined her efforts to quickly transfer the leaves to the bowls. “Thank you, Sae.”

“Thank YOU, girl. Gatherin’ up all these to make pretty things for the weddin’, you must be exhausted.”

“I had help. From Haymitch.”

“Did you?”

“I had to ambush him.”

“Nah. As often as that boy looks at you, I’d guess he went willingly.”

Ambushed and willing. Yes, he was.

Beetee wheeled up to her with several spools of wire, wire cutters, rolls of electrical tape, and several pairs of scissors.

“The copper color is PERFECT!” Effie gushed.

“This wire is at least a hundred years old,” he replied with little emotion, “The only reason it shows no corrosion is because 13 is fastidious about its storage conditions, including adequate air circulation. The gauge is small. The electrical current from present technologies, would overload and overheat it. The wire is rather useless actually.”

“Well, we’ve found a use for it!”

“In the absence of copper tape, this seems the best match, which is ironic since brown is typically used for high voltages. And high voltages would burn right through this particular wire.”

“We’re just making garlands today, not blowing out an arena!”

“You’re speaking non-metaphorically, of course. We might hope the propo will play a role in shattering the Capitol’s grip on the restless minds of its citizens... That said, it isn’t my intention to imply that YOUR mind is gripped and restless.”

A gripped and restless mind sounded fairly accurate to Effie. “I doubt the Capitol views me as its citizen at this point.” I guess that makes me homeless, even though my family home, my apartment, my belongings, my entire history are all there.

Beetee noticed her smile fade. “You might be right about that. ...I’m sorry.”

After seeing what her victors had been through and what they were still going through, she felt uncomfortable being apologized to by a victor who she held in high regard. I don’t deserve an apology, though manners dictated the proper response to an apology was a gracious, “Thank you.”

“Will you be staying to help?” she added.

“I’m needed in Special Defense. Bring the leftover supplies when you come down later.”

“Beetee, thank you for this.”

The clock was ticking. Effie went to work immediately, arranging leaves in alternating colors and shapes and adhering the stems to a long length of wire.

“What a beautiful pattern!” A friendly voice spoke over Effie’s shoulder. She turned to see Delly Cartwright whose blonde hair fell free of its usual braid.

“An artisan! Delly, I’m grateful you’re here to help with production and quality control.”

From their occasional chats at mealtimes, Effie had learned that Delly’s parents had been shoemakers, and 13 put her to work in textile production as soon as she’d turned 18.

“Me? An artisan?”

“You WILL be, dear. I’ve seen your stitching. I’ve also observed your congenial way with people.” Effie cut a long length of wire for Delly and set her up with supplies to work at another table. “Let’s spread around the talent.”

When school let out, Delly’s younger brother was the first to arrive, not wanting to go “home” to empty quarters. Posy Hawthorne followed close at his heels, skipping to keep up with his much longer legs.

“Stop followin’ me!” he told her.

“I’m not followin’ you. We’re just goin’ the same place, that’s all.”

“Well, you’re a baby, and I don’t want you sittin’ at MY table.”

“Cordwain!” Delly interjected, “That’s not polite!”

“I’m FIVE years old, and I’ll sit wherever I please, CordWAIN.” With three older brothers, Posy could hold her own in disagreements with just about anyone, especially boys. Effie admired that along with her manners.

“Aw, Dellyyyy,” her brother whined, “You’re supposed to call me Cord!”

“You apologize to Posy, and I won’t have to be so stern.”

“Do I HAVE to?! She’s just Vick’s little sister.”

“And you’re MY little brother, so, yes, you do. You know Ma and Pa would say so if—“

“Ma and Pa are dead!” Cord sat at the table with Delly and folded his arms across his chest.

Delly sighed, and her tone softened, “Cordy, honey, that’s all the more reason to apologize.”

His lip quivered, and he muttered in a hoarse voice. “Sorry.”

“I’m sorry they died,” Posy empathized, “My daddy died b’fore I was born.”

She sat across from Effie and looked at her for a long fifteen seconds. Effie wasn’t used to children being so young. The girl’s dark hair fell long past her shoulders in two braids. Her gray eyes were deeply set. She had the look of a person who’d seen the shadow of death and kept going.

“I like your pink glasses.” Posy twirled one of her braids around her finger. “I used to have pink ribbons. Two of ‘em.”

“When I was your age, I wore pink ribbons in my hair. Pink was my favorite color.”

“Mine too! Gale says we can’t go back fer the ribbons. He says they’re gone. Do you think they’re gone?”

“Well... I...” For goodness sake. What does one say to a child whose district was fire bombed to rubble?

Cord muttered some more, “Of course they’re gone!”

Posy ignored him, waiting for Effie’s response.

“Your brother, Gale, is wise, dear.” Effie saw her expectant little face fall. “I am going to your district tomorrow. With Katniss. Would you like for me to look for the ribbons so you know for certain?”

Posy nodded.

“Then I’ll be sure to do that. In the meantime would you like to help make a garland? There aren’t any pink leaves, but there are other pretty colors.”

Posy reached into the bowl and pulled out a red one. “Can I do this one?”

“Of course. Let me show you.”

Effie demonstrated with a different leaf then watched Posy’s small fingers peel and cut the tape and use it to add her chosen leaf to the copper wire.

“How’s that?” the girl asked.

The tape was crooked. The leaf was crooked, and it didn’t fall in line with the pattern. Effie considered telling her so. Aemilia Trinket certainly would have. And for that reason if no other, Effie said to the five-year/old, “That’s wonderful, dear.”

Posy beamed. “You’re nice. You’re not scary at all! I’m gonna go tell Rory that he’s wrong.” She hopped out of the chair and skipped away, turning around long enough to say, “I’ll be back!”

Effie watched her go, not knowing quite what to think. Rory?... She couldn’t remember who that was. One of the Hawthorne boys?

“This year would have been Rory’s first reaping,” Delly explained.

Effie didn’t need to hear anything more in order to understand. The truth split her heart. Half of it dropped like lead into her stomach. The other half rose up into her throat, threatening to choke her.

The children are afraid of me.

Even without a reaping ball in front of me, they are still afraid.

In that moment, she didn’t have time or space to process the realization. She just sat there, forcing a smile, trying to keep the vacant feeling in her chest from showing on her face. As volunteers streamed into the dining hall, she swallowed the lump in her throat, pressed her palm to her stomach, and directed the project as planned.

More children arrived giggling and singing, 🎶”Come live with me and be my love...”🎶 It was the beginning of District 4’s wedding song, which they’d started learning in school. 🎶”...I'll take you out upon the sea...”🎶 drew them into conversation about how the ocean might look, feel, sound, smell, and taste. None of them had ever been to the seashore. They’d only seen it in books.

🎶”...To share the starry night with you...” 🎶 intrigued them too. Some of the children from 12 tried to describe the stars to the kids from 13 who had never been above ground at night. “A star is like the tip of the flame of a candle that never flickers.”... “They just pop out in the sky as it’s changing from blue to black.”... “My grandma says stars are ghosts that come to visit us at night. Good ghosts, not scary ones.”... “Ghosts ain’t real.”... “Are so!”... “Are not!”

Dozens of adults were there to cut wire and strips of tape for the younger children and to ensure the garlands turned out beautifully.

With so many helping hands, Effie had to let go of her precise plans. The work of other artisans became apparent as some patterns emerged which were even more pleasing than what Plutarch and Effie envisioned.

Boggs showed up, carrying his son on his hip. The boy seemed younger than Posy, though Effie was far from an expert about children under 12. Boggs sat at a table with the boy in his lap. The little one reached for the leaves just as Boggs’ communicuff started flashing wildly. “Damon, buddy, President Coin is calling. I’ve just lost my break time. I’m going to need to take you back to daycare, but maybe Miss Trinket will let you take one of the leaves with you?” Boggs gave Effie a pleading look. The last thing he needed just then was an upset kid.

Damon’s big brown eyes welled up with tears. He wiped them away with the backs of his hands which were filled with leaves that he didn’t want to let go. Since the epidemic, Boggs and his son had been on their own. Looking into those teary eyes, Effie couldn’t help but feel for them. The feeling seeped into that empty space in her chest, and eased a bit of the void.

“Your son can stay awhile, if you’d like. Then I can take him back to daycare.”

“Are you sure? He’s a handful, and you have a lot going on here.”

Seeing herself in the moment as “scary ghost” rather than a star, Effie definitely was NOT sure that she was the right person to be looking after a young child. “Of course, I’m sure,” she spoke through her smiling mask.

“What do you say, buddy? Do you want to stay with Miss Trinket and make a garland, or do you want me to take you back to daycare now?”

“It’s Effie. The only one who calls me Miss Trinket around here is Mr. Heavensbee.” She laughed.

Damon climbed down from Boggs’ lap and up into Effie’s. “Oh! Well, hello,” she said, pushing her chair back far enough to make room for him. He was heavier than he’d looked in the strong arms of his father. He squirmed around reaching for everything at once: more leaves of every shape and color, scissors...

Boggs’ eyes widened.

Effie handed Damon a roll of tape in trade for the scissors. “You can hold the tape, and I’LL do the cutting.”

‘Thank you,’ Boggs mouthed the words then told his son, “This is an important job, soldier. Effie is your commanding officer. Are you going to take this work seriously and mind what she tells you to do?”

“Yeth, thir, Daddy, thir!” His lisp melted Effie’s heart.

“At ease, little man. I’ll pick you up from daycare at 18:00.” Boggs kissed his son’s forehead, and Damon was already hard at work attempting to peel tape off the roll.

As Effie helped the boy put leaves on the wire, Posy returned, accompanied by one of her brothers who hurried to claim an open seat next to Cord. Posy skipped up to Effie and patted her head. “I got Vick to come, but Rory’s stubborn. YOU know how boys can be.”

Effie looked up from the table to see Haymitch leaning against a pillar near the edge of the dining hall. He was watching her closely. The expression on his face was a loaded mix of curiosity and seriousness.

“Yes, I do know how boys can be,” Effie agreed, “Especially when they are afraid.”

Haymitch had never seen Effie around little kids, and he was fascinated. The Hawthorne girl chattered on and on, tucking leaf stems into the top knot of Effie’s kerchief. Boggs’ kid was in Effie’s lap, crushing leaves with his hands and unwrapping tape for her to cut with scissors. A girl Haymitch didn’t recognize sat to the side, touching Effie’s bracelet. “Is this silver and gold?” the kid asked.

“This s costume jewelry,” Effie answered.

“What’s ‘costume’?” the girl wanted to know.

“A costume is... something you might wear when you are... pretending.”

The Hawthorne girl said to the other one, “You can wear one of my pink ribbons sometime, and we can pretend to be twins... if Effie finds my ribbons in 12 tomorrow.”

Effie locked eyes with Haymitch. “I promised I’d look, Posy, but please don’t get your hopes up, dear.”

He was trying to make sense of the situation. Effie’s going to 12 tomorrow? Why? And why is nobody telling me anything! Pissed off, he started to walk away.

“Excuse me, girls. Damon, let’s go talk to Haymitch for a few minutes.” Effie stood up, holding the boy on her hip as Boggs had done. “Haymitch! Wait...” She caught up to him before the staircase. If he’d really wanted to avoid her, he would have already been long gone.

“What are you thinking!?” he asked, unsure of what he was wondering about most... Why was Effie going to 12 where the burned corpses of his people were still rotting? Why didn’t she tell him about her plans? And what the hell was his heart doing as he watched her with those little kids?

“Annie needs help selecting one of Cinna’s dresses for the wedding, and Katniss asked if I could go with them for support. So, of course, I said yes. ...Not that I owe you an explanation.”

“You owe me nothing, sweetheart. But it’s bad there. You’re going to see things that’ll change you.”

“I’m already changing.” She boosted the kid up on her hip. “There’s nothing I can do to stop that. ...And I don’t think I want to stop it.”

Damon dropped the leaves and rubbed his eyes. “Are you tired... buddy?” Effie hesitantly used one of Boggs’ nicknames for the boy. He shook his head ‘no’, but rubbed his eyes again. “How about we take these leaves to daycare so you can show your daddy?”

Damon nodded and opened his hands to the floor where the leaves had fallen. Haymitch bent to pick them up and handed them back to the kid. He stood close to them. Effie smelled like the woods, faintly like ginger, and mostly like her. The fragrances helped him feel less agitated. They were familiar, as if less was changing all at once.

“Thank you,” she said about the leaves, “Will you please tell Delly where I’m going and ask her to stay until I return?”

“Sure”

She rested her palm on Haymitch’s shirt where his sweater gaped open. She brushed her fingertips along the buttons. “Will YOU stay until I return? I could really use your help hanging these garlands in Special Defense.”

Her touch felt too good for him to say no.

The peace in his expression was answer enough for her.

As he watched her walk away, a smile crept over his face. He was far too amused to remind Effie that the Hawthorne girl had embellished her head wrap with at least a dozen leaves. In all the years, it was the best *wig* he’d seen her wear. If she was going to roam around 13 looking like a tree, then who was he to stop her?

[ladyfiresfanfiction]

Never Leave - The Walking Dead Fic - Merle x OC

She was finding herself wishing she had died three weeks ago.

Life at the prison was going from Heaven to Hell in a short matter of weeks. Woodbury's makeshift army was scouting the prison, and had shot up the place on more than one occasion. It was dangerous to be outside for more than a few minutes if you didn't know how to fire a gun, or wear body armor for that matter. Everybody was extremely angry or extremely paranoid and scared, and most were at each other's throats.

Kati found herself spending more time in her cell, writing down her thoughts several times a day in her old diary. She was keeping away from Rick, who was turning more and more into a loose cannon. She helped the others with Judith, who was now only a few months old. She and Daryl were on the outs, and for what reason she didn't know. Her aunt, Carol, was livid that she had slept with Merle, who was a good thirty years older than her, and not exactly liked in the group. Glenn avoided her as much as possible, and Maggie wasn't as friendly as she used to be.

"Just gotta give everybody some time, Kati." Hershel had told her a week ago. "With everything going on, everybody here isn't very stable. We're still a family no matter what, and we will be okay."

She and Merle spent their nights together, when mostly everyone was asleep. He would sneak into her bunk and fall asleep cuddling with her, or they would talk about everything that was going on.

"I think we should leave, babygirl. You, me, and my baby brother. Just get the hell out while we still can. There's a small winda of time left." He told her one night.

"This is our family, Merle. We can't abandon them." Kati replied, sliding her fingertips up and down his chest, her head resting on his shoulder. "We just can't. What about Judy? And Carl? And my aunt...?"

"Y'all don't know The Governor like I do. Once he has something, or someone, that he thinks is a threat in his sights, might as well bend over and kiss your ass goodbye. I don't want nothin' happening to you and Daryl. Y'all are my family."

"We can get through this, together. We're weak without each other. I can't leave. And I don't want you leaving me." Kati said, looking up in his eyes.

"Fine," Merle sighed. "I'll stay. But only to save your pretty little ass, which will need saving."

"Promise?" she asked quietly, looking deep into his eyes.

"I promise. Ain't nowhere I wanna be if you ain't with me, darlin'." he replied, kissing her lips tenderly.

Two weeks had passed since Kati and Merle had their talk. War was approaching, and the entire prison was on guard. Kati was helping Carol, Maggie, Glenn, Carl, and a new member of the group, Michonne, stock up the prison inside and out with loaded firearms and grenades. Daryl, Rick, and Hershel had gone for a meeting with The Governor, set up by their friend Andrea. Merle was hostile and on edge. His baby brother was out there without backup, and he didn't like it.

"Don't set right with me, my baby brother being out there. They sittin' ducks. Y'all know that?" he said as most loaded the guns with bullets, and others packed bags full of weapons to place in certain areas of the prison.

"They will be fine. The Governor won't do anything that rash."Michonne spoke up.

"You don't know him like I do. He will. And if anything happens to Daryl... Well, it's y'alls asses." Merle warned.

"There's nothing we can do. If we go back them up, they could be killed on the spot. Then we could get killed. We told Rick we would hold down the prison while they're gone, and that is EXACTLY what we are doing." Glenn snapped.

"And what if your pretty little girlfriend had gone? Would we be doing what Officer Friendly wanted then? I don't think so, China Boy." Merle scoffed.

"Merle, please." Kati said, eyeing him with pleading eyes.

"My dad will be fine. He can take care of himself!" Carl said, handing a heavy bag of guns to Maggie.

"Sorry, son, but your daddy's head may soon be on a pike."

"Merle, shut up. Don't tell him that!" Maggie cut in, glaring at him.

Carl went off with Carol outside to load up the dock and the towers with their weapons.

"I'm just bein' honest. Y'all must be dumber than a box of rocks. Fuck this. I ain't letting Daryl get killed, or my girl. I'm doin' what shoulda been done by now." Merle replied, walking over to a filled back of weapons.

"Merle, no. You said you wouldn't do this!" Kati hissed, standing in front of the bag.

"I'm doing this for you, babygirl. You and Daryl. You two are the only ones who matter to me. I'm blowing The Governor's Goddamn head off then comin' back for you." he said, lightly pushing her out of the way and grabbing the bag.

"Merle, go take Kati up to her cell. You aren't leaving. We told your brother and Rick we would stay here. That is what we're doing." Glenn said, standing in front of the door.

"Get out of my way, boy." Merle snapped as he stood in front of Glenn, glaring down at him.

"No. Take your girl and get out of here." Glenn replied calmly, standing his ground.

"Merle, come on. Come with me. Please." Kati said, anxiously.

"You wanna play it that way? Fine." Merle said, smiling.

He grabbed Glenn by the waist as they tumbled down the steps. Kati tried grabbing Merle and pulling him off, but he shoved her into the table, where her back hit the sharp edge of it. Merle punched Glenn in the face twice, then drew his knife from his armored forearm. Maggie jumped up and on his back, putting him in a choke hold. Michonne went over to help Maggie, trying to pull Merle off of the now bloody Glenn. Kati sat there shaking, her eyes wide and her back searing with pain. She was frozen and didn't know what to do.

"Merle, stop!" Kati screamed, trying to stand up on shaky legs.

"Get off him!" Maggie screamed, smacking him with her free hand.

"ENOUGH!" Beth shouted and fired two shots into the ceiling, making everybody look in her direction.

"Get off me! Get off of me!" Merle yelled, finally freeing Glenn from his grasp.

Maggie checked on Glenn, who had a busted lip and his right eye began to swell. Beth walked over and helped Kati up on her feet, Carol speeding toward her as Michonne took Carl to check on his sister.

"Are you okay?!" Carol asked, hugging Kati.

"I'm fi-fine. Just a scratch." Kati stammered.

Carol turned Kati around gently to see the so-called scratch. What she saw sent her into a rage.

"You EVER touch my niece like that again, Merle, and The Governor will be the least of your problems!" she screeched.

"What? Shit... Kati..." he said, looking at her.

She had a gash on her back that went down her spine. The sharp edge of the table cut into her from the top of her back between her shoulderblades, and down to the small of her back. She hit the floor after and landed on a bag of guns. It had started to go light purplish in color, and she had tears in her eyes.

"Sweetheart I'm sorry... You can't get in the way like that..." he said, inching toward her slowly.

"If you-you're going to leave, th-then leave. Don't t-t-touch me." Kati sniffled, and walked off to her cell, Carol and Beth in tow.

"Shit..." Merle mumbled, and walked after them.

Beth sat with her, cleaning up the little blood from the scratches. She tried to carefully clean up the dried blood around the bruising on her back, and Kati was sobbing into Carol's shoulder, while Carol promised her it would be alright.

"I don't kn-now what to d-do. I..." she trailed off, wincing every time Beth touched her cuts and bruise.

"Can I talk to you alone, honey?" Merle asked from the doorway.

"Get the fuck out of here, you asshole!" Carol barked.

"I'm done here, I gotta go check on Maggie and Glenn. Call if you need me, okay?" Beth said, giving Kati a hug.

"Thank you.." Kati said, looking over at Merle with puffy red eyes.

"Please... I didn't want to hurt ya. I was tryin' to prevent that. Kati, please... You know I wouldn't do that. " He said, looking at her with an exasperated expression.

"I'll come see you when we're done here. Thank you aunt Carol." Kati said, giving her a hug.

"You scream if you need me. I'll come running." Carol said, walking out and glaring at Merle.

She stood in front of the bunk, her arms wrapped around herself and her eyes on the floor. Her long brownish-blonde locks of hair hugging her shoulders, and covering most of her face. She let out a small whimper as her blue-green eyes looked up at him.

"Come here." Merle said, standing still in the doorway.

"Please don't. You promised me. You promised me you wouldn't leave. We would stick it out." Kati said, looking up at him with fresh tears in her eyes. "Not too long ago you asked me if I was gonna try to leave you again. I said I wouldn't so long as you weren't goin' anywhere. Then two weeks ago you promised me you'd stay. You promised me, Merle Dixon. You promised me you was staying. And now you're trying... You're... You're trying to..." Kati trailed off, her whole body shaking and her bottom lip quivering.

He sighed and finally walked over to her, taking her in his arms. She shoved him back, slapping him hard across the face.

"No! Don't! Just please don't..." she sniffled.

He grabbed her and held her tight against his body as she tried to push him off. Once she finally gave in and gripped his shoulder blades, she leaned her body into his and cried into his shirt.

"I'm here, babygirl. I'm here. I'm sorry. I won't leave." Merle said, quietly whispering into her ear while his hand rubbed where she was bruising. "You know I ain't goin' noplace without my lady." he whispered, taking in the scent of her hair and kissing the top of her head.

"Please don't leave. Please." Kati sobbed into his tight black shirt, gripping his shoulder blades even tighter than before.

"Hey, hey look at me now." He said, his hand moving up from her back and gripping her chin. "I go no damn place without you. You're by my side the entire time, no matter what or I don't go. I won't leave you, darlin'. I'm so sorry I hurt you..." He said, caressing her cheek with the back of his hand as she leaned her cheek into his hand, his eyes searching hers for some sort of recognition of his words.

"Its o-okay. I know you'd never hurt me inten-tentionally." She said, holding onto his waist now, tears silently falling down her cheeks.

"That was not okay. What I did to the poor bastard wasn't okay, and laying my hand on you like that... I lost my cool and I'm sorry about that, baby. I would never touch you in a violent way. I... You know." He said, avoiding her stare.

"I know what?" she asked, holding on to him to keep from falling down. She was still so shaken up.

"Let's lay you down, huh?" He asked, lifting her up in his arms, their lips meeting for several seconds as they made their way to the bunk.

He set her in the bed, then crawled in beside her. She crawled closer to him, gripping his side and laying her head on his chest. He pulled the sheet over them to keep her warm and close to him, looking down at her as she rested her head on his chest comfortably. His heart was trying to beat out of his chest, which made her look up at him worriedly.

"Your heart... It's beating like crazy. Are you alright?" she asked, cupping his face in her hands, her body leaning against his.

"I'm fine. I just.. I love you." He mumbled.

"What?" She asked again, ,moving her hands down on his pecs. She was sure she misheard him.

"I said I love you, babygirl," his arms locked around her protectively and his hand rested on her ass. "I really do."

She didn't know what to say. Merle and feelings didn't go in the same sentence. But hearing the words, and seeing the look of sincere affection and care on his face. Her heart melted. She loved him too.

"And I love you, Merle Dixon. So much. That's why I just can't lose you." she whispered.

"You'll never lose me. I'll always be here, fighting alongside you. Keeping you safe." he whispered, his eyes looking from hers and down to her body.

She moved to the side of him and looked at him, a devilish grin stretching across her pouty lips. She pulled off his tear soaked shirt before beginning to kiss his neck passionately. He grunted in her ear, his upper body tensing from each delicate, deep kiss. His nails gripped into her ass, holding her lower body against him.

"Damn, baby... What you do to me." he moaned.

"Shhh. Your babygirl is gonna take care of you for once." she whispered, leaning down to kiss his lips as she straddled his lower body.

She whimpered, feeling him getting a hardon as she moved her lower body on top of his, nice and slow. His hand grabbed her hip and guided her down, allowing her to feel everything. She grinded her hips forward, becoming wet as she felt his cock fighting to be freed from his pants. His arm muscles tensed up, and she eyed them. She always loved his arms. They were so big, and so strong. She never felt anything but safe when he locked them around her waist. And holding onto them during sex made her so wet.

He grunted, moving his lower body up into hers roughly, making her moan. He tore off her tight camo top, revealing she had gone braless that day. His hand cupped one of her C-cup breasts as he leaned up a bit to take her nipple from her other breast in his mouth. She cried out his name, her nerve endings going into overdrive as she slammed down on his clothed cock. She raked her nails down his muscular chest, making him grunt as he continued to suck on her nipple, and his other hand rubbing her breast and pinching her other nipple gently, making both perk up from the attention they were receiving. As he let go, he looked in her eyes again, panting.

"Sweetheart, you deserve to be taken care of, especially after this..." he trailed off, his eyes growing sad when he ran his hand over the scratches on her back.

When she winced it made him feel even worse. He flipped her down onto her back gently, his arms locked around her protectively and his body lying atop of hers.

"I want to cater to you, Merle." she whispered sweetly against his lips.

"Later. Right now, my babygirl gets pampering." he whispered back, his lips overtaking hers and their tongues fighting once more for dominance as her hands rested on his muscular back. She moaned, taking in his saliva as their tongues glided against each other, enjoying the texture of each other's tongues. She pinned him down on top of her, her nails digging into his back.

He forced her legs open and pinned his lower body into hers, grinding his boner into her, making her squirm and moan. He pulled away and started leaving sweet kisses down her neck and slender shoulders, his hand sliding down her stomach. She raked her nails down his back, leaving little pink scratches that made him grunt and look in her eyes with a look of lust and annoyance.

"What have I told you, girl? No touchin' of any kind 'til I say so." he said in a deep voice.

"What you gonna do if I don't, hm?" she said in a small yet seductive voice.

"Mmm you wanna play those games, huh? I'll show you what I'm gonna do then." he grunted into the moist flesh of her neck, making a shiver run down her spine.

He bit her bottom lip, tugging on it hard as he ripped down her capri pants, making her gasp. He was getting harder and she could feel her whole body starting to quiver. She went to slide down his beige slacks but moved her hands away, his tongue forcing its way into her mouth, quieting her moans and cries.

He lifted her ass a bit off the bed to finish pulling off her capris, throwing them in the corner of the cell. He then leaned down and used his teeth to drag down her booty shorts, looking up at her as she watched him in delight. He threw them with the rest of her clothes and his shirt, then unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, sliding them and his boxers down to his ankles as he leaned over her body again, looking down at her curves in awe.

"I think we gotta get you warmed up first, huh?" he said, plunging two of his fingers inside her wet pussy. "Damn, you're already so wet for me."

"God, Merle. Don't tease me like that. Fuck me, and fuck me hard!" she growled impatiently.

"In due time, sexy." he winked.

He curled his fingers inside her as he began to pump them in and out, making Kati moan his name quietly. His thumb played with her clit, applying pressure on it as his fingers pumped up against her g-spot, making her gasp and cry out. He smirked, feeling her inner walls clutching around his meaty fingers, and just as she was about to cum, he removed them and stopping playing with her clit. Her legs were shaking violently and her body shook, looking up at him with wide eyes.

"Now, I think you're ready." he said, licking her moistness from his fingers. "Come here, now." he ordered, pulling her body up against his as he plunged his throbbing cock deep into her soaked pussy.

"Oh my God, Merle!" she gasped, biting down on the sweet spot of his neck.

She rocked her hips against his as he slowly and torturously slid inside her. She felt every solid inch of his cock, the tip hitting her g-spot slowly at first, and then hard again and again. She was so close to cumming. Her nails were digging into his shoulder blades as she kissed his biceps and stared into his eyes. He was looking back into hers as he grunted and bit his bottom lip in concentration.

"God you're tight, just how I like it." he moaned seductively in her ear.

"I'm about to cum!" she cried, her walls tightening, making it tougher for him to enter her.

"Cum for me, baby. Come on." he said, his eyes never looking away from hers.

His arms wrapped around her waist, and his lips traveled from her shoulders and down her chest bone. He sucked hard on her collarbone, down to her breasts, and over her stomach. He ran his tongue up her body and into her mouth as she let her tongue slide against his, her hands resting on his lower back. Just as she was about to grab his ass and force him deeper inside her, his hand grabbed her throat and held her down on the bed, looking in her eyes.

"Fuck, I'm coming!" she gasped, her eyes rolling back in her head.

"Babygirl I'm almost there. Cum for me, come on. That's my girl. Oh!" he grunted as her cum sloshed over his rock hard cock.

"Oh God, sweetheart, there it is." he moaned against her left breast, his own cum filling her and sending a warm wave throughout her entire body.

His body collapsed on top of hers, his arms locking tight around her again. He let his head rest against her boobs, panting. Their sweat mixed together as they held each other, their hearts hammering against their chest cavities. She kissed his forehead and rubbed his back, whispering that she loved him.

"I love you, too, Kati." he said, looking down at her as he pulled out and slid over beside her.

"I think that's the first time you've ever said my name." She smiled, moving over to him and resting her head on his chest. "I like it."

"You have a very pretty name, darlin'. I should say it more often." he chuckled, taking her body in his arms and kissing the top of her head.

"So no more fights? No more trying to leave?" Kati asked, sliding her fingertips up and down his chest.

"No more. I can protect you here just as good as going to Woodbury." he replied, his fingertips sliding up and down her spine.

"We're all in this together, Merle. We can make it." she said reassuringly.

"I know. I know, Kati. Its us against the world, babygirl."

[billhaderlovebot]

willy mclean hcs

ah yes. it is time for another hannah and molly headcanon extravaganza. we've been thirsty for this hoe all damn week. @gazebros

you think you know willy the first time you meet him properly.

in fact, you do know him.

you've seen him around, verbally abusing pool-goers and smoking pot on his breaks.

you've never crossed paths other than the one time you asked him where the toilets were and he blew smoke in your face.

but the first time you meet him properly it's kinda an accident, in that you weren't looking for company.

you'd just broken up with your extremely long term boyfriend that week.

u have a child together.

it wasn't a toxic relationship and it didn't end on bad terms, and you loved each other very very much, but you both agreed that you'd grown apart and you'd be better as two seperate people.

plus, you needed to keep it cool between the two of you for the sake of your son.

nonetheless, it was a bummer.

you were the only one left at the pool, and it had long since closed. you'd been sat on the side, watching the ripples and ignoring how cold and dark it was getting. the only source of light came from the LED's on the bottom of the pool.

and willy came out of the weird room thingy he sits in while people are swimming.

"we're closed, man."

probably the biggest joint you've seen since college in his hand.

"yeah. sorry. lemme get in on that, though."

you reach up to take the joint from him and he shrugs and hands it to you.

"you good?"

"just broke up with this guy, um, we've been together since... i don't know, fuckin, forever. im sad, i guess. he's staying with his mom."

"oh, worm. i can get my bong."

and you don't know why you find yourself telling this random guy everything.

but you talk and smoke for hours.

willy is like a breath of fresh air.

you can't remember the last time you'd laughed until your ribs hurt.

and you've told each other like

everything there is to know about everything

and in this moment you actually feel like nobody else knows you better in the entire world

even though you've only been talking for like four hours.

by the end of the night you're basically sat in his lap.

you're so close that your lips almost touch when you light another joint and pass it between you.

and you hear his breath hitch

and his eyes are dark.

"your ex didn't give you syphilis or anything, did he?"

"no. why?"

and then suddenly his lips are on yours and he's holding your face in his hands.

and all you can feel is him

and its Perfect.

and he's warm and soft and you fist your hands into the front of his stupid poncho

and you have to go back to your apartment to fuck because he doesn't have one oops.

and you get there and you apologise for the mess because you've not been in a good place lately.

"dude i live in a fucking pool don't even worry."

thus begins Friends With Benefits.

the best sex you've literally Ever had in your life along with the best weed and the best 4am talks and a guy who talks to you like you're a normal fucking person for Once.

Willy McLean E*ts P*ssy.

you pull his hair sometimes

nothing extreme jus a light tug yknow

but it drives him Insane

he Loves It.

he doesn't dirty talk a lot but he's very vocal. like he's not one of those guys where it feels like you're fucking an ice sculpture. he actually like makes noise.

and tells you what he wants.

so it's just u guys hanging out and fucking for like a long time. and it's good. it's great.

no commitment or anything it's pretty chill.

you go off the radar a few times a week to spend time with your son, who's currently living with his father until you get your life in order.

one night, after sex (it was during the shining bc that movie is Long so y'all jus ignored it n Got On With Things) willy is watching you sleep.

he's watching you exist.

he just watches you for the longest time.

his heart melts when you subconsciously shuffle closer to him and bury your face in the crook of his neck.

and he realises that the feelings he has for you run deeper than he thought they did.

he realises that he might maybe a little bit love you.

maybe.

you're so strong and you would do anything to protect your kid and you're not afraid of looking stupid and you make him laugh like nobody has ever made him laugh.

also the sex? 😔👌

he thinks you're probably the most wonderful human being in the whole world.

you didn't plan on introducing willy to your son.

because you didn't think it would ever be anything serious and therefore not have an impact on his life.

but it had to happen at some point.

and one day he gets in your car and there's this lil curly haired toddler in the back in this lil car seat.

"uhh. we have to go sign him up for preschool."

you'd forgotten it was almost august.

willy is really nervous because he's sure he smells of pot and he doesn't really know what to do around kids.

but elias is surprisingly quiet and he giggles along to whatever dumb shit you and willy are talking about in the front seat even though he has no idea what you're saying.

willy falls even harder for you when he watches you ruffle elias' hair and kiss his head.

and elias really likes willy's poncho.

and when you get to the school and the secretary starts gushing about what a cute couple you and willy are

willy Loses His Mind

and he's about say something

but you're like "thankyou so much!🥰" and take his hand and the paperwork she gives you and drag him into the waiting room.

"wh-"

"we are a cute couple."

he pretends not to notice when you don't let go of his hand for the rest of the day.

because you fuck and have been fucking for a while but this is Soft.

and you pretend not to lose your shit when willy picks up elias and you look at them both together, giggling like idiots and realise that they're all you need.

a couple months later, when the pool closes for the winter months, you realise you haven't seen him in a couple days.

which is worrying, since he lives at the pool um-

and so you go there

n he's just

jus sittin.

"hey, babe."

"hey, where have you been?"

"just around. come sit."

and for a minute it's normal. you're talking and laughing so hard that your sides split and kissing (ft inappropriate touching)

and it gets a lil cold and he puts his obnoxious knitted poncho over you.

and he looks at you for a bit.

and you barely hear it when he whispers

"i think im in love with you."

and oh

oh fuck.

of course.

and you love him the fuck BACK

but he takes your stunned silence as rejection, mumbles some garbled apology and stands up to leave.

you run right after him, though.

it's something straight out of a romance movie, he thinks, when you spin him around by his arm and pull him down to your lips by his collar.

"i love you too. so fucking much, will."

that night you invite him to stay over.

"isn't elias staying with you right now?"

"yeah. he misses you. he keeps asking about the poncho man idk"

when he wakes up the next day after watching two and a half hours of paw patrol with your son (he kept him entertained, seeing how exhausted you were, and allowed you to nap.) you're not there.

he heads into the kitchen where you've sat elias down with a bowl of cereal and you're dancing around to whatever's playing on the radio.

and he sees a box of his stuff next to the couch. everything he owns. you must've gotten it from the pool while he was asleep.

"what's going on, baby?"

"shit, yeah, um, you're moving in."

his heart explodes

and he's trying so hard not to cry

at the concept of having a home

and with you, nonetheless.

he's sure he's never been so in love.

but he cries anyway, when your back is turned, when he thinks you don't know.

he Loves You.

[dailyaudiobible]

10/02/2020 DAB Transcript

Isaiah 66:1-24, Philippians 3:4-21, Psalms 74:1-23, Proverbs 24:15-16

Today is October 2nd welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it’s great to be here with you today as we move forward and take the next step through the Scriptures, and yeah we’re at the beginning of a new month and a new quarter. And, so, we’re just getting oved in and an understanding of where we are and doing what we talked about yesterday, thinking about finishing well, finishing strong in a…in a year that has done a lot to challenge us. So, let's dive in. And we’re working our way through the book of Isaiah, and we've actually reached the conclusion. Today will be our final day in the book of Isaiah for this year. We’re reading from the Lexham English Bible this week. Isaiah chapter 66.

Commentary:

Okay. So, in Philippians today we kinda dropped into the middle of something that was being said that we had finished up with yesterday. And, so, we see Paul kind of doing the boasting thing again where he’s like…he’s kinda forced to boast in order to defend himself from things that people are saying. So, he’d rather not be doing this at all, but he has to do it. And, so, he's saying what he's done. Like, “I was circumcised on the eighth day. I…I’m from…I’m an Israeli. Like, I’m a natural born Hebrew from the tribe of Benjamin. I was a Pharisee. I was so zealous about it I persecuted the church. I was blameless in keeping the law trying to be righteous before God.” And then Pals says, “but all the stuff that I did, it doesn't mean anything to me. It…it's…it's a loss. Like, I count it as a loss because of what I have gained in Christ.” And that juxtaposition is Paul again saying what he has always said in his letters. “I was trying to obey the rules. I threw myself at it wholeheartedly. I wanted to be able to be righteous before God, so that I could one day be welcomed by God, so that one day I would be righteous before God. And, so, I did all the right stuff, but it wasn't going to me there. So, now I realize it was a loss, like I count it as a loss because of what Jesus has shown me since I've met the Lord.” And once again this is Paul trying to say, “the rules are not the relationship. The rules do not come before the relationship to gauge whether there is a relationship.” For Paul that's like backwards, for Jesus as well. The spirit of the whole thing had been lost and so all that was left were rules when the rules were actually a byproduct of a relationship. And basically…I means…here's a way of looking at it. If you're married…even if you're not married you’re gonna understand this…if you're married you don't…you don't dig out your marriage covenant and read it every time you have a fight, right? Every time you have a disagreement you don’t dig out your marriage license and begin reading and say, “wait a minute. These were our vows. This is what we said.” I mean there are times that this needs to happen, but this isn’t what defines the relationship. Love defines the relationship. And when two people are in love than the rules become apparent and you don’t have to like study and ritualize and try to make the relationship work by the rules. If there’s no love there it's going to be pretty tough to do. And this is what Paul is trying to argue. Like he had tried to do this, always knowing his failures because the law showed him his failures, always having an understanding of God being displeased because of his failures. Everybody felt that way. Like nobody could live up to the law. Everybody felt that way on a continual basis just looking for the other shoe to drop. And that's what Paul is trying to say. Like that's not freedom, that's not freedom. Christ came, fulfilled the law, God began a new thing by raising Him from the dead, faith in Jesus makes us righteous before God, fulfills all of those requirements that we think we have to live up to. We are free to be in love with God, free to be in love with God as He is in love with us. Rather than understanding him as an angry deity we now see Him as Father as our Papa as a loving child would refer to their parents. That’s what Paul has been after today. And, so, he says something very famous. “I haven’t achieved that. That's where this is going. We are all on that path. Why would you want to turn from that path and go back into bondage because somebody's telling you something different than what I've been telling you. Let me tell you my credentials.” And then he goes through his credentials. “I have done this.” That’s his point. “I have done this with all of my heart, and it cannot be achieved, but Jesus came and revealed Himself to me and revealed how this actually works. It's a leap of faith and I have not achieved this. I can't achieve this, it can only be achieved inside me by God”, which is the same for all of us. We can't achieve anything. Everything that we have is a gift from God. “So, I haven't achieved it” Paul says, “but I am trying. Like I am doing one thing. I am forgetting the things that have gone behind me and I am pressing toward the things that are ahead. I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” And that should do for us what it would've done for the Philippians and what it did for the Philippians. And it encouraged to them. It reminded them. And, so, yeah most of what we just talked about are things we have talked about before, but Paul repeats these things in the letters and the letters got passed around from church to church so people were being continually reminded in those early days, just like we are continually being reminded now because we forget. And in the same way we get back to the rules. We know our failures. We know we can go to the Father and ask forgiveness but we know our failures. And, so, we live sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop. We live feeling as if we don't keep our act together something bad's going to happen when that's simply…at least according to Paul, at least according to Jesus, that's not how this works. And, so, once again we are reminded of God's mercy and grace and we need to press forward because of the deep and growing love of the relationship that we have with God. The rules become apparent. There are things we wouldn't do against our spouse because we love them, and we wouldn't want to break their heart and we wouldn’t want to cause them pain and suffering. There are things that we wouldn't or shouldn't do in our relationship with God for the same reasons because we are committed in a covenantal relationship and in love. Let's remember that as we head into the end of the week.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You. We thank You that You loved us first. There is nothing we can do. There is nothing we have done to earn that. You have loved us and come for us. And this salvation that we are working out in fear and trembling isn't about how often we step out of line. It's about us being aware of what we will not do because we are committed to You, because we are in love with the creator of our souls, with the lover of our souls. So, Holy Spirit come. Make this a reality. May we live into this fully in the name of Jesus we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it’s the website, it’s where you find out what's going on around here.

Still reeling, not reeling, just still kind of floating from the announcement we made yesterday about China and Ben expecting their first child, their first baby. And the outpouring of love and good wishes and prayers is so encouraging. It’s like a lifting…lifting spirit and we need that. We need…we need our spirits lifted in these days. And, so, thank you for…for that. And thank you for your continued prayers and…and…and just joy we go through this process and through…then through the winter months and into the spring and then as spring brings new life and this spring will bring really new life into our family and so we’re very excited. And thank you. Thank you for your…your love and being a part of life here in community as…as we move forward.

I remind you that the website is home base. And, so, and it's not very complicated. It's actually made to be pretty simple.

There’s a Community section, that’s where you can get connected on social media and that's where the Prayer Wall is. There is a Shop full of resources for the journey through the Bible in a year. And there's Initiatives, things that are going on around here. So, be…be aware. Check it out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, I can't thank you enough because the reality is if we didn't do this together, we wouldn’t be doing this at all. And, so, so grateful, so humbled that we can take this journey, day by day step-by-step fresh every day moving forward in life together in community. Like this is really happening, we’re really doing this together. And what a joy that is but it wouldn’t happen if we didn't do it together. So, thank you for your partnership. There’s a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. There is a Give button in the Daily Audio Bible app in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement 877-942-4253 is the number to dial or if you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app…and if you’re not you should…you should be…this is the portal into community, there’s a Hotline button in the app, the little red button at the top, No matter where you are in the world you can…I mean that's sittin’ in your pocket. You got a Hotline, you got a way to reach out at any point when your shouldering things that you just can't carry anymore or when you're so full of joy that you just have to tell somebody because that's community. That’s the friendships that we have forged as we've just gone verse by verse page by page, chapter by chapter book by book all the way to here in the Bible. So, you can always reach out there.

And that is it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hello this is Lacey from Cape Cod Massachusetts I’m an elderly woman alone in the world with no family. It’s just me and my precious dog and Jesus and I’ve had some serious serious health issues with my back and I’m severely arthritic but my dear precious dog has been very sick and I beg your prayers that…for healing for her and mercy for me because I just cannot imagine life without her. The loneliness and isolation is just so painful. And before Covid…but now with Covid it’s 10 times worse. She’s my baby and my precious companion and I need her, and I love her. Please pray for mercy. Thank you in Jesus’ name. God bless you all. Thank you. I’ve been listening for over a year…about a year. Bye-bye.

It is September 26th this is joyful Jay from the Everglades. I just want to say thank you DABbers. Thank you, Brian, Jill, China and all who make this daily campfire happen. I’m a longtime listener and very rare caller. Change is coming. My fear of saying the wrong thing is less than my fear of not being known by a community of believers who live fearlessly in loving each other and want to be known by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Oh Lord to let people in, to let people know me, you know this is my struggle. Thank you for opening my year and opening my heart. Thank you to all of those who call in on a regular basis. Your voices, your accents, the cadence in your speech. This is how I’m getting to know you. I will not know you because I can see you, but I will know you because I know your voice. Your words bring me joy and at times lay a heaviness on my heart. Just hearing the different tones, the tunes of all your voices and songs. I am crying as I listen to people saying they prayers. Hearing the songs, hearing the prayers, hearing the encouragement is nourishing to my spirit, leaving me wanting more of this community and a desire to change and desire to be known by you. Thank you, Lord Jesus. This is JB saying thank you for all of you calling in and setting an example of caring for each other in prayer. Have a great day. Blessings in the Lord Jesus. Bye.

Good morning DAB family this is Dawn of a New Day from California calling to lift up our sister Tammy from Canada. Tammy God has you in the palm of His hand as your reaching out, your crying out, your trusting and believing even in the face of not feeling like you can still hold on and trust God. In the name of Jesus, you will not crack, you will not fold, you will not lose your mind. You will get the best sleep you have ever received ever. And Father we give You praise, we give You glory, and we give You honor right here and right now not just for Tammy’s sweet sleep but for every person that has insomnia for every person that feels as if their sleep deprivation is cracking their life God. We trust You are Lord. We lift this ministry up to You God. We lift up every prayer request. We lift up our sister who was invited by her two brothers who is excited to be a part of our DAB family God. We lift up each and every heart the grows in Your word that loves Your word. We lift up every single person that listens and absolutely believes and trusts You more God. I pray that we will spread this word of this ministry, that we would then learn and grow and serve, believe God that we would reach out and reach in and…and absolutely not give up. We love You like never before, and we thank You now for loving us back. We love you Tammy. Your DAB family is calling out your name and glory not just this day but in all the days to come and we will hear your testimony of your breakthrough and sweet sleep. God bless you sister. Thank you for calling in for the first time. DAB family sew a seed of support today. God bless you all.

Good afternoon DAB family this is Lady of Victory on Monday, the 28th of September calling in for Jody who called in for prayer for Desiree, a 15-year-old, I believe, who has been diagnosed with cancer that has metastasized to her lungs and other parts of her body. So, we want to lift her up in prayer. God, we thank You, we glorify You, we magnify You because You alone are worthy to be praised. God what a report to have said about someone so Young who is dealing with all that she’s dealing with God. And yet according to Jodi she is not lost for Jesus joy. Some of us have been diagnosed with a lot less God and we have turned our backs on You. And, so, God we thank You for the joy that Desiree has in You in spite of God the diagnosis. Now God our prayer is that You would heal her on this side of every disease God. We recognize that cancer is a name and You said that at the name of Jesus every knee is going to bow. And, so, God we tell cancer to bow in the name of Jesus. God, and we lift her up before You. We ask that a miracle will be performed for Your daughter. God but if that is not Your perfect will for Desiree’s life God it sounds like she’s ready to meet You and to hear those words good and faithful servant well done. And that’s not what we want God while ultimately that’s all of our desires. God but we want her healed on this side, but we also want Your perfect will to be done and established. Comfort the hearts of those around her God who are lifting her up who have to see her suffer. Do it for Your glory.

Hi, DABbers I may first time call inner just started listening to the Daily Audio Bible this January, it is an answer to prayer, truly. I just wanted to call in because after five years of having Ménière’s disease, it’s a…a vestibular disorder a balance disorder, I was able to, little by little, build up an art business but I got very used to working alone, as hard as it was. And since social distancing has occurred, I’m just having a really hard time I find now connecting with people and I’ve always been so gregarious. And there’s so many winds of doctrine out there I…I don’t feel like I fit anywhere anymore. And I…I know that that’s not God’s will for me, that His will is that I live in community but I’m very, very, very confused and I feel very lost and in a real desert place. Not depressed but lonely but yet I feel that there’s this glass around me that I can’t cross over. Also, if you’ll pray for my son. He’s been an addict for 10 years. He’s living in Philly now in a sober home but he’s…he’s using when he can and just so afraid of him dying. God has kept him for 10 years even as a homeless person and he’s had many, many maybe over 40 rehabs. But I really hope that you hold Jesse up in prayer and for his complete deliverance…

Hi family is Purely Pampered of main. I have an answered prayer praise report to call in. Yesterday we helped my son and his fiancée move into a new apartment about an hour away. My future daughter-in-law found a full-time job and today my son started a two-month temporary job. Right before we left their apartment for the last time, I asked them to indulge me and I thanked God for all the wisdom they gained through the challenges they’ve had these past 2 ½ years living there more than I could never go onto and I prayed that as they closed and locked the door they could let go and leave behind all of the pain and look forward to their new beginning. I told them that hundreds of thousands would be rejoicing with them when I called in this praise report. Thanks to each of you prayed for them and thanks to each of you that took the time to call in and pray for them. I won’t list your names, but you know who you are. I so appreciate you. There’s just no explaining how it feels, for others lifting up my family’s needs. Thank you. Please continue to pray for all of us dealing with transgender pansexual and gender spectrum issues in our families. We so need those prayers. I love you family. Bye for now.

[peter-parkourwrites]

Lose You To Love Me (one shot)

1940’s Bucky x Reader

Based off of the song, Lose You To Love Me - Selena Gomez

Warnings: mentions of getting shot, literally all angst, if you squint fluff

Word Count: 2k

——

We'd always go into it blindly

I needed to lose you to find me

This dancing was killing me softly

I needed to hate you to love me, yeah

You had met James Barnes on a humid and foggy night in Brooklyn, July 1st, 1939.

One Year Before Drating

Your friend’s Alice and Rose has decided dragging you out of your house to go out for a night on the town, drinks, dancing, the whole shebang!

When you had stepped out in your baby blue colored dress, the one with the white ribbon tied around the waist, your friends erupted into squeals, mentioning how the boys would be the ones swooning tonight.

You simply laughed, grabbed your cherry red lipstick and raced them out the door, the sound of your heels clattering against the pavement could be heard, paired with loud giggles.

If only you knew how right they would have been.

Bucky had been dragged along dancing with Steve, his scrawny best friend who happened to go beat red every time a decent lookin’ gal showed up in his peripheral. Of course, Buck never minded dancing, truth is he adored it. The sway of a dames hips, and the frill of her dress as he would twirl her around the dance floor to Billie Holiday, or Duke Ellington. The curl of their red or pink lips as he whispered something less than ‘professional’ in her ear.

‘Course any other girl in his eyes would merely become a silly pest when he met you.

There you were, sat at the bar your bare legs crossed and dangling a few inches from the ground, even with heels on.

Bucky cleared his throat, downed the rest of his drink for some liquid courage and stood up. He brushed off the front of his jacket adjusted his cap and strode off towards you. His collar seemed to get tighter as he approached you, even though he could have sworn he loosened it. The room was growing hot, at least he thought so, and yet he continued forward hoping and praying he wasn’t getting sick with the flu that had been going around.

“So, why’s a gorgeous dame like yourself sittin’ here by your lonesome?” He asked, leaning against the bar and shooting you his most dashing smile. His eyes met yours and the world seemed to stop spinning. Your irises were dark and wide, pooling with information as you took in your surroundings, not daring to look at him just yet.

But oh when you did meet his ocean blue eyes, his heart started beating out of his chest, skipping beats, slowing down, speeding up, the whole nine yards. He swallowed thickly, hoping, praying that love at first sight wasn’t just some myth and this wasn’t his mind playing tricks on him, and asked…

“You wanna dance love?”

January 1st, 1940

6 months until the drafting

“James!”

Bucky winced at your tone, his bare feet digging into the sand. He watched as your peach sundress flapped around with the salty ocean breeze. Falling in love more and more every second.

“Bucky I swear to- ahhh!” Strong arms wrapped around your waist and hoisted you up, your bare back going flush against his bare chest. Your cheeks heated up as you kicked at his thighs, watching the world pass by you as he ran towards the shore.

“Bucky no no no!” You cried, but it was too late, you were tossed into the water. The ice cold green and blue surrounded you, as you sat there underneath letting your hair float up around you along with the scattered fish, and seaweed.

Pushing up from the ground you broke the barrier between the cold water and the now even colder air.

“Sorry doll,”He chuckled, a smirk crossing his lips as he leaned in close to you pressing his lips to yours.

You promised the world and I fell for it

I put you first and you adored it

“Bucky.” You grumbled shoving him back, watching as he slipped and fell into the water, last minute pulling you in with him. Now the both of you stood shivering in the winter air, teeth clattering and goosebumps rising with every gust of wind. “You ‘oughta have a good explanation for this hun.” You spoke up, dragging him out of the water behind you and onto the shore. “I love ya, but I oughta get some hot chocolate and dancin’ after this mess.” You hummed, before freezing in your tracks realizing what you had said. “I-I uhh I mean-”

“You love me?” He asked, spinning you around to face him and gripping both your trembling hands in his own ice cold hands. “Well I reckon now as good of a time as ever to mention, I love ya too dollface.” James grinned, looping an arm around your waist and dipping you bringing you flush against him and kissing you deeply. Your hands gripped at the back of his dripping wet uniform and squealing as his fingers tickled at your sides.

“I’m never letting you go baby girl, when I get home I’ll give you the world, and until I leave you’ll have the world.”

“You are my world Bucky.” He hummed and leaned in for another short kiss.

I saw the signs and I ignored it

Rose colored glasses all distorted

Set fire to my purpose And I let it burn

July 6th, 1940

Drafting Day

Bucky lays awake that night, his mind going a thousand miles a minute. Unable to sleep he sits up, letting the sheets pool at his waist leaving his bare chest exposed to the warm summer air. HIs fingers reach out, ghosting over your sleeping features and he prays that if you wake up you won’t think it’s creepy.

But he needs to remember the way your cheekbones become more prominent in the hot weather, when you don’t wear as much makeup. He needs to remember the warm glow that sets on your face as you sleep soundly beside him. The way your lips curl every so slightly as he runs his fingers through your hair, massaging your scalp.

His blue eyes filled with adoration, and sadness as he watches you almost purr with delight in your sleep as his soon to be cauloused and rough hands card through your hair.

The sun is now seeping through the white curtains that have long since been stained, such a contrast to when you first had gotten them. It makes him sick thinking they’d have the possibility of changing by the time he returned.

His home, your home… would be different. He’d no longer walk in to your room, and the same glow would not be there. Your brightly colored dresses, pinks, blues, and bright yellows with polka dots, would be switched to greys, blacks, and whites. You had picked up a job as a nurse for the veterans that were coming home already, and you didn’t start until two days after he left. The general having some regard to let you mouron and miss him. Letting your heartbreak settle before working on hand with other people.

And now as you kiss him feverishly, your hands looping around his neck and grasping at his hair. Begging him to stay without needing words he puts on his most charming smile, brushes the salty tears from your cheeks and places one last kiss to your forehead. With a promise.

“I’ll be home soon doll, wait for me.” He said, placing another peck to your lips, shoving a black box in your hands and boarding the bus.

March 18th, 1942

Two years since Bucky has been gone.

Your heart fluttered as you read his latest letter. Something about how they were going in on a mission to gain more intel from Hydra, and try to take them down once and for all. You laugh as he mentions something about ‘following Captain America into the jaws of death’. Steve was prone to dramatics. He mentioned being nervous, considering he only just got out of their hands. You shed a tear as he mentions how he hasn’t been sleeping much since. But he pushes your thoughts from that when he starts talking about some girl Dum Dum was trying to pick up at a bar, and she threw her drink on him.

“Mrs’s Barnes?”

“Louise, how many times have I asked you to stop callin’ me that.” You scoff, sparing a glance down at the ring on your finger, getting lost in its beauty for only a second.

“Sorry Ma’am-”

“It’s not Ma’am either darling, I am not my mother. Good graces if I ever act like her please just take me out back and shoot me.” You groan, pulling on your work gloves, fixing your nurses outfit and following her towards the infirmary.

We’d always go into it blindly

I needed to lose you to find me

Soldiers were being shipped in an out by the minute, you barely knew where to start. But your question was short lived when Louise shook her head and pointed towards the offices.

Suddenly your throat felt very dry, you brought a hand up to pull and loosen your collar as she guided you along beside her, her arm resting around your back as her hand gripped your own.

The news didn’t register properly until you were handed an envelope. Dirty, covered in blood, but there it lay in your hands. The last thing he wrote to you. Kept a secret, never to see the light of day unless he was dead.

The clinic sent you home early that day, and now you sat alone in your studio apartment, that was shared with him.

The letter sat on your coffee table, mocking you. That letter was the destruction of everything you had built with him. You knew what was in it without even having to read it.

Dear (Y/N),

My love, the sun to my stars, my babydoll. You are everything a man could ever wish for. And you know I hate formalities but I feel like if this didn’t start with dear Steve would have my head.

I hope you never have to read this because… it means I’m dead, or missing in action. Which either way means dead in the eyes of war.

When I first got my draft notice I was sick. I threw up the whole night, my ma and sister by my side. I couldn’t leave ‘em here, ya know? With my dad being gone… it never felt right. But I knew I had to go. Stevie was the one who actually wanted to leave. Always goin’ on and on about how jealous he was that I fit all those damn requirements.

So I guess that's when I started wearing my uniform with pride. Knowing I was doing something good for this fucked up world.

But then I met you.

You. Damn I could go on and on ‘bout how beautiful you were that night. By your lonesome, just smiling all happy in that dance hall, not a care in the world about the war, or if anyone would ruin your night.

So I guess that’s why I walked up to you specifically. You didn’t have a care in the world, you were just happy. So I figured, why not have a fun time with a beautiful gal, and then leave her that same night so she wouldn’t have to see off. I didn’t want anyone to see my off. Not my Ma, Sisters, Stevie. Hell I never even dreamt you would. I figured I’d ignore my draft notice long enough that I could elope with some gal who would go with me, and never have to fight in this damn war. But that night... when you took my hand in yours and smiled that cherry red smile... I was done for. Completely whipped man, and I guess that night I didn’t think of the consequences. I didn’t think I would fall so hard for a dame who I barely knew besides the color of her dress and the way it made her eyes pop.

‘Course I’m me, and well… shit happens. But I am so glad that it did. Because either way, loving you will always be the greatest thing I have ever done. No matter how badly I wanted to stay, leaving was the hardest thing.

I hope this letter finds you in good health, and if you want to hate me for the rest of your life, I wouldn’t blame ya sweetheart. If you find another man, I won’t blame you for that either doll. Live your life, live your dreams… just don’t forget me. I won’t forget you.

Yours forever,

James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes.

April 6th, 1942

You stared at the empty casket in the ground. It had yet to be covered up, and the rain was beating against it making the most horrendous sounds. Bucky always hated the rain. Said it got in the way. Of what? You didn’t know. You figured it was some odd thing from his childhood, maybe he got stuck outside in it and got sick, or maybe he just hated water as a whole.

But now you understood. The rain made everything dreary, and cold. A mood fitting for a funeral you presumed. Didn’t mean it hurt any less. If anything it should have been sunny for him. Bucky was always lighting up your life, or any room he walked into with that dashing smile of his.

His Ma, and sisters cleared out a while ago, to go back to their house for something to eat and to talk.

Something Bucky would have also hated. He never went to family parties, said it gave him headaches, and he hated having to use small talk with his own cousins because his Ma would have smacked him upside the head had she heard what they really talked about.

You stood at the foot of his grave. Your black flats kicking at the dirt. Tears no longer streaming down your face.

“I hate you ya know…” You finally spoke. You were silent for the whole ceremony, not even bothering to look up when you were asked to speak. You couldn’t. How could you when the love of your life was not even in his own grave, but out on the front lines somewhere in germany, dead.

“That night… when you” You cleared your throat and lowered yourself to sit on the ground. “When you asked me to dance… I wanted to say no. You were a man decorated for war, I knew only heartbreak would come.” You sighed, picking at the grasses that grew beneath your feet, scoffing at how it was able to live out its stupid life, and not him. “God if you could see me now Buck, you’d be laughing up a storm. I mean here I am, scolding fuckin’ grass for being alive. I must be a mad woman.” You laughed bitterly and it turned into choking sobs overtime.

“When you asked me to dance that night… my momma had always told me, don’t fall in love with a soldier. He’ll break your heart long before you even see it coming. To this day I still don’t know why she always said it… because you never broke my heart. Still haven’t, and I think I hate you a bit for that. I think it would have been easier if you left me alone that night underneath the lamp post. Maybe then I would have found some man worthy of my time as you’d always go on about. But there was never anyone else Buck. There never will be. It’s always you.” You took a deep breath and shake your head, your hands now sitting in your lap.

“All this, makes me think I deserve it… ya know? Some sort of sick karma… like I was so happy, so in love and suddenly it was ripped away from me. But I guess… I needed to lose you to find me because now… I work with the veterans. Sit and talk with them about the war. Hell one of them knew you, think his name was Pinky something… I dunno, but the nurses and I have helped them get back on their feet. Even started a home for ‘em, and their families. Same with orphans and widows of the war, they stay there when needed for food, medical care, and just company. You’d be proud of me I hope… I love you James… I’ll see you again someday”

Thunder boomed, as lightning lit up the sky. Brushing away the tears you stood up on shaky legs and placed a kiss to the casket, the red stain of your lipstick not even daring to be washed away by the rain. You gripped his dogs tags that lay around your neck tightly, your knuckles growing white as you made your way out of the cemetery and to an empty home.

And now the chapter is closed and done

To love love, yeah

To love love, yeah

To love, yeah

And now it’s goodbye, it’s goodbye for us.

[superfreakerz]

TDDUP 24

"Til Death Do Us Part"

Rated M for smut and heavy themes.

Summary: There are immortals and there are those who reincarnate, but it's best to keep these things hidden. Lucy is attending college and meets Natsu, a boy with pink hair, a devilish smile, and a body that never ages.

Read earlier chapters on FF.net

Chapter 24

Jellal's Birthday

"You should've seen her. She literally woke up, puked her guts out, and started crying," Natsu said, staring up at his ceiling.

Gray let out a low whistle. "Must've been a pretty scary dream."

He sat up, turning towards his roommate. A frown rested on his face as he said, "That's the thing. I'm beginning to wonder if that's all it was."

"What do you mean?"

"When I told her none of it was real, she said that it really was. I didn't really think much about it then, but I'm starting to wonder if she had a nightmare about something real."

"Why don't you just ask?"

"You don't think I've tried? Every time I try to bring it up, she just keeps changing the subject. It's obvious she doesn't wanna talk about it."

"Then just leave it alone,"

Natsu furrowed his brows. "Leave it alone? How can I just leave it alone? She was crying."

"Not everything has to be talked about," Gray said with a shrug. "Look, her mom's anniversary is coming up, right? It was probably just a dream about her mom. I've had plenty of those about my family, and I'm sure you've had them too."

Natsu couldn't argue with that logic. "Well why wouldn't she wanna talk to me about that? We talk to each other all the time about that kinda stuff."

"Maybe she's not ready. Either way, I say you just drop it. It's better than to keep reminding her."

"Fine," Natsu said, laying back down on his bed. It'd been four days since that night, and he couldn't get it out of his head. He'd never seen Lucy so shaken up before, it made a shiver run down his own spine.

Gray raised his arms above his head in a stretch before getting out of bed. "C'mon. We gotta go help with the party or else Erza will literally kill us."

Natsu groaned. "She gets even more violent on Jellal's birthday."

"That's because she always tries to make things perfect and fails every time."

"She really does suck at surprises."

As the two headed towards the lounge in the basement, Natsu noticed everyone running around with sweat dotting their faces as they hung decorations on the wall. Erza must've gotten to them. It was no secret among Fairy Tail that if someone messed up Jellal's birthday or even hung a decoration up crookedly, there would be hell to pay with the demonic redhead. Speak of the devil…

"Natsu, Gray. It is good that you two are finally joining us," Erza said, approaching the two. She shoved streamers into their hands. "You idiots can't possibly mess this up. Hang these from the ceilings. Find me when you are done so I can give you your next task."

Natsu knew better than to talk back on Jellal's birthday.

"Aye, sir!" the two exclaimed, saluting the girl. She gave a satisfied nod before moving on to check on everyone else.

Only after the basement was covered in colorful decorations, a beautiful cake sat on the counter courtesy of Mira, and everyone was gathered in the lounge did Erza officially commence the party. Everyone cheered their congratulations for Jellal.

Birthdays were cause for a huge celebration in Fairy Tail, big enough that they shut down the whole place. Many immortals, like Cana, had forgotten their actual birthdays over the vast years and chose not to celebrate. But after joining Fairy Tail, they were able to pick a new birthday for themselves and celebrate it with a group of people who cared and understood.

In Jellal's case, December 1st was not his real birthday. He had long since forgotten, partly due to his longevity and also due to what happened at the research facility. He and Erza were only fresh immortals back then, only recently discovering their secret. Before they could really understand what was happening, they were dragged to a facility against their will and experimented on for decades by mortals trying to find the secret to immortality. After repeated experiments, they lost track of the years and their brains had suffered damage.

They weren't the only immortals to go through something like that. Many of them had been through their own hardships caused by mortals, particularly Mira. Her story always made Natsu sick to his stomach just listening to it.

Only bad things came from mortals finding out about their secret, which was why they held a prejudice against Lucy at first. She was the first mortal who didn't know of immortality to prove to them that there were good ones out there.

Natsu kept a grin glued to his face, but he couldn't help but miss Lucy. After her nightmare, conversation between the two of them had been a bit tense. He wished she was there celebrating with all of them.

"It is time for gifts!" Erza announced while everyone was eating their cake.

"You guys didn't have to get me anything," Jellal said with a smile. He said that every year, knowing that they were going to go out of their way and get him something anyways.

"Nonsense! Here, open mine first!"

Jellal thanked his wife, accepting the gift. A chuckle slipped past his lips as he noticed the sloppy wrapping of the present. While some would suspect that the redhead would be neat and tidy when wrapping gifts, she was actually quite bad at it. And he loved that small fact about her.

Tearing the paper off, he opened the box underneath to find a worn-out journal. Its corners were folded over and its edges were torn, but it still managed to bring a huge grin to the otherwise stoic boy's face.

"Erza! How did you find this?" he asked, flipping open the book and running his fingers over the brittle pages.

"It was actually a lot of work to get," she answered with a small smile. "For one, they kept it in a museum. I've been planning a way to get it out of there for a year now. Then, I had to do it without being caught. Luckily, I did."

"Wait, you broke into a museum?" Cana asked, blanching at the redhead.

She shrugged. "Yeah. All it took was months of observing, a friend on the inside, tiny movements of their cameras every day so that they wouldn't notice, and then breaking in through a back window and taking it during the night."

"Erza, I don't think you know how truly scary you are sometimes."

Erza gave a smug grin. "Oh, I know."

"What is that thing anyways?" Gajeel asked, moving closer to Jellal to see what it was. "And how could you of all people break into a museum to get it? You're always sittin' on that high horse of yours, talkin' about morals and shit. Now look at ya."

"It's not really robbing if it was yours to begin with."

"This journal was mine," Jellal explained. "It was back in our hometown. I was studying and I wrote down some experiments I did in this journal. This was right before we were taken."

Everyone stared at the ground as Erza balled her hands into tight fists. It wasn't a secret that the facility still haunted her to this day.

"Anyways," Jellal said, trying to move quickly from that topic. "After that, I didn't go back to my old home for years, but apparently someone had raided it and took my journal. Apparently, it was interesting that someone from those days had formulated advanced equations, so they kept it preserved in a museum. I was very shocked to find it one day."

"This is the only thing we could find from the old days," Erza added. "Nostalgic, isn't it?"

"It is. I still cannot believe you got it back for me."

"That was pretty risky of you, Erza," Mira said with a chuckle. "But you'd do anything for Jellal! It's so cute!"

The girl's cheeks burned to match her hair. "A-Anyways, next present!"

The group went around, giving Jellal their presents until there weren't any more. After that, they drank and played games, so caught up in the moment that they didn't feel like outsiders stuck in hiding. In that moment, they were just a group of friends- a family- all of them celebrating a birthday like any normal person would.

"Don't drink too much," Levy said, watching as Gajeel downed an entire mug of booze. "Don't forget we're going to celebrate again later with Lu-chan. She can't know that we were already celebrating without her."

Don't worry, Shrimp. I ain't no lightweight."

"Levy does have a point," Gray said. "Maybe we shouldn't have gotten full off of the cake already. Knowing Lucy, she's probably baking one right now for us."

"She sounds so nice!" Mira gushed. "I wish I could meet her! Why do I have to be in a different cycle from you guys?"

"Yeah, yeah," Cana said, slinging an arm around the other girl's shoulders. "You've got me, Laxus, and his squad in your cycle. Can't beat that setup! After all, I take you to the cool parties that people throw!"

"Yes, and you shrug off your studies," Erza scolded.

"Psh. Oh well."

Natsu crossed his arms with a sour look. "Why can't I 'shrug off my studies' if Cana can?"

"Because you're in her cycle," Gray said with a smirk. "She can't have you making her look bad. Though, you bein' an immortal already makes the rest of us look bad."

Before the two could begin to brawl, Makarove climbed up onto one of the tables to give himself some more height. Even then, he still wasn't tall enough to peer down at everyone, but his air of authority made up for his lack of height.

"My children," he started, gazing at each and every one of them. "I am happy to be able to celebrate another one of your birthdays will all of you. Jellal, happy birthday. I wish you nothing but happiness. I know many of you have forgotten your original birthdays, but it is with Fairy Tail that you are given another! It is with Fairy Tail that you are able to celebrate with your peers! It is with Fairy Tail that you can begin anew! So cheers!"

Everyone lifted their glasses high in the air, the building rumbling as everyone cheered.

Lucy sighed as she threw the cake in the oven, dusting her hands off on her apron. She wasn't much of a baker, but as long as she followed the recipe, she was sure it would turn out decent enough.

The girl glanced around her apartment, making sure everything was ready for the party later. Streamers hung from the ceiling, banners were pinned to the wall, and games were set up on the dining table- games that she bought specifically for the occasion. All that was left was the cake, which would need to bake for roughly twenty minutes, cooled, then frosted. That left her nearly an hour to relax.

Making her way over to her desk, Lucy plopped onto the chair with a sigh. Rubbing her eyes, she stifled a groan. She could feel the heavy bags underneath her eyelids.

Ever since her nightmare, the girl had been having trouble sleeping. Even with Natsu there to hold her, she refused to doze off into sleep, terrified that her dreams would be plagued by her inner demons once again.

"Hopefully some concealer will do the trick."

Hoping to distract herself, Lucy worked on her story until the oven began its incessant beeping, informing her that the cake was finished. Taking it out of the oven, she eyed the clock. The others were supposed to arrive in half an hour.

"I probably don't have time to let the cake cool all the way and frost it before they get here."

Or so she thought.

Lucy slumped on the couch with a huff. It was nearing seven, and they were supposed to arrive at six.

"What's taking them so long?"

Finally, she could hear a key being pushed into the lock of her front door before it swung open to reveal Natsu and the others. It wasn't a surprise that they all showed up together since they all lived in the same place.

Lucy eyed them in annoyance. All of them wore wide grins on their faces as they bustled inside. Were they not aware that they were an hour late?

"Hey, Lucy," Gray greeted.

She ignored him. Eyes landing on Jellal, she forced a grin to her face as she said, "Happy birthday, Jellal."

The boy smiled back at her. "Thank you, Lucy. And thank you for letting us come here to celebrate."

"Don't mention it. I'm surprised that Fairy Tail was closed today. It's not a holiday today, is it?"

Erza cleared her throat. "Perhaps they are taking a training day."

"I guess that makes sense," Lucy replied with a shrug. Searching for Natsu, she found him sitting alone on the couch. She moved to sit by him. "Hey, Natsu. Why are you guys so late?"

Natsu smiled apologetically. "Sorry about that. Erza thought you said to come over at seven."

She arched a brow. "Erza said that? She's not the type to make a mistake like that."

"Well, I guess she did."

Natsu sighed in relief as Lucy shrugged her shoulders in acceptance. In truth, everyone was so caught up in the moment at Fairy Tail, they lost track of time. But he couldn't tell Lucy that. Not only was she not supposed to know about the others, but it would also probably hurt her feelings if she found out they had a party without her.

Lucy stood up from the couch. "Do you guys want any cake? I made some." Her gaze landed on Erza, finding that the redhead was already devouring a piece.

"Ehh, I'm good," Gray said, crossing his arms behind his head. He and everyone else had already filled up back at Fairy Tail. Any more would just make him sick.

Lucy bit back a frown. Nobody was going to have the cake? Well, besides Erza, of course. But what about everyone else? Did they think she was that incapable of baking? Mumbling to herself, she hastily cut herself a slice and sat at the dining table while everyone else chatted around her. First they were late, then they didn't even take a bite of the cake that she slaved to make for them.

Natsu cocked his head to the side, watching as Lucy shoved cake into her mouth. Her brows were slanted, and she wasn't paying attention to anyone. Figuring that she was still upset about her dream, he chose not to comment on it. Taking Gray's advice, he was going to let her handle it on her own.

Lucy heaved a sigh before taking the last bite of her cake. She shouldn't have been so bitter. The day wasn't about her, it was about celebrating Jellal's birthday. Who knows, maybe they just weren't cake people.

Lucy's eyes lit up as she turned to face her friends.

"Should we open presents now?" she asked, clasping her hands together in excitement.

Everyone shared an uneasy glance. They already opened presents back at Fairy Tail.

"Oh, uhh, we don't get each other presents!" Levy lied. She'd always been quick on her feet in times like these. Only this time, it wasn't working.

Lucy narrowed her eyes skeptically. "You guys don't get each other birthday gifts?"

"Nope! Too much of a hassle with such a big group!"

Lucy turned to Erza. "Even you didn't get your husband a gift?"

The other girl shook her head, following along with Levy's lie. "No. Jellal and I don't believe in gift giving."

Lucy's hands went limp at her sides. What did they take her for, some kind of idiot? "Okay. Does anyone want to play some games?"

That was how the rest of the evening transpired. Everyone played games and cheered while Lucy kept a feigned grin plastered to her face.

Once the party ended, the group helped Lucy clean up before saying their goodbyes and heading out the door. Natsu stayed behind as always.

He watched as Lucy marched over to the couch and plopped onto it with a huff. Taking slow, hesitant steps towards her like she was some sort of ticking time bomb, he lowered himself next to her.

"That was fun, right?" he asked, turning to give her a grin.

Lucy glared at him, turning on the TV without saying a word.

And just like that, Natsu knew her sour mood wasn't just because of her dream. She was mad at him.

Grabbing the remote from her hand, he turned it off before giving her a serious look.

"What's wrong, Lucy? Why're you so upset?" he asked.

The girl crossed her arms and replied in a flat tone of voice, "What do you mean? I'm not upset."

"You obviously are, so just tell me already."

"I'm fine."

"If you were fine, you wouldn't be acting like this. Can we just talk about it?"

Lucy whirled an angry gaze onto him. "You guys celebrated without me, didn't you?"

Natsu swallowed thickly. He should've known that she was going to catch onto them. "Lucy, I can explain."

"I knew it! That's why nobody ate the cake or gave presents! Not to mention you guys reeked with booze!"

"Lucy-!"

"No, no! Don't Lucy me! I know exactly what this is about!" Lucy stood up from the couch and planted her hands on her hips, tears pricking her eyes as she continued, "I'm never going to be good enough for your friends, am I? You all share secrets that I'm not good enough to know, you all lie to my face, and now I know you all celebrate without me! Just admit it, Natsu! I'm not good enough for you guys!"

Natsu shot up, his brows furrowed. "That's not it, Lucy! 'Course you're good enough for us!"

"Then why the hell did you guys celebrate without me? Why couldn't you invite me?"

"I-It was with other people!" Natsu answered with a gulp. The truth was at the tip of his tongue. He longed to tell her the truth for so long, now more than ever. But he just couldn't do that to his friends. "You don't know them, so we figured that you wouldn't wanna be there!"

Lucy rolled her eyes with a scoff. "Yeah, right. It's nice to see that you're breaking our no-lying agreement. You think I don't know when you're lying by now?"

"I'm sorry, Lucy, but-!"

"Save it."

"But Lucy-!"

"I don't want to hear it."

Natsu's brows furrowed in annoyance, watching as Lucy turned her back towards him.

"You're kinda a hypocrite, you know that?" he said, the words fumbling out of his mouth before he could even think them over.

Lucy whirled around, giving him an incredulous look. "Excuse me?"

He shrugged. "You're a hypocrite."

"How the hell am I a hypocrite?"

"You aren't the only one who can tell when the other's lying. Do you really believe that you haven't told a single lie since that night?"

"I have not!"

"There it is again!"

Lucy's mouth gaped open like a fish out of water. Okay, so she had lied a few times to keep her reincarnation a secret. But those were necessary lies! And it wasn't like she expected him to know she was lying.

"See? You can't even argue because I'm right," Natsu said, shoving his hands into his pockets. His voice was cold as he continued, "You're being a hypocrite. We both lie for whatever reason; the only difference is I don't get on your back for doing it."

Lucy's fists trembled at his cold disposition. "Well then maybe that's a sign."

"A sign of what?"

"That we shouldn't be together," she answered. Her heart dropped to the floor as Natsu gave a pained expression, his eyes wide and his mouth parted. Her throat felt tight as she fought back tears. "You said it yourself. For some reason, we both keep lying to each other. Maybe that means-"

"Yeah, I got it," Natsu said, cutting her off. "If that's what you want, then fine."

"Natsu-"

"Nah. You're good, Lucy. You don't hafta explain yourself." Removing the necklace from his neck, he grabbed Lucy's hand and placed the spare key into her palm. Without saying another word, he marched towards the door, slamming it shut behind him.

Lucy stood still, tears clouding her vision as she stared at the door. Her mind was a blank slate, unable to process what just happened. But when she did, it was like a switch went off in her mind.

Once the first sob wrangled its way out of her, she was no longer able to contain herself. Her hand tightened around the key he left behind, the cold, ragged edges engraving into her skin.

This time, she couldn't even blame reincarnation for what was happening. She could only blame herself.

Natsu slammed the door to his bedroom before marching over to his bed. He plopped onto it, staring up at the ceiling and ignoring Gray's questioning glances.

"Uhh, everything okay?" his roommate asked.

"Shut up," Natsu replied, his voice hoarse. There was no way in hell he was going to talk about what happened with Gray. He had just managed to stop crying on the way home, and if he talked about it, the dam was sure to break again.

Gray wasn't deterred by his remark. "Did something happen with you and Lucy?" Natsu ignored him, giving him the answer he needed. "What happened?"

"None of your business. Now shut up, Gray. I'm serious."

"No, I won't just shut up. What the hell happened between you and Lucy? We were just having a good time."

"Maybe you did, but she didn't."

"Lucy didn't have fun at the party?"

"Nope. Because she knew that we celebrated without her." Natsu sat up, giving the other boy a blank stare. "Know what that means? It means she was asking me why we celebrated without her. And I couldn't even tell her because of this damn secret we have."

Gray frowned, fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. He wasn't sure what to say. Hell, there probably wasn't anything he could say that would cheer him up. That was one of the many unavoidable problems of dating a mortal, and even though he loved Lucy like a sister, there was no changing the rules that were there to keep them safe. What Natsu did was the right thing, even if it didn't feel like it.

"I'm sorry, man," Gray said, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. "But I'm sure Lucy will get over it."

"Nah, she won't. She broke up with me."

"Wait, she what!?"

Natsu shrugged.

Gray heaved a sigh. He hated seeing Natsu like this, and he was sure Lucy was hurting just as much.

"You know, Juvia broke up with me once," Gray said, laying back and staring at the ceiling as well.

Natsu's brows rose as he turned to face his roommate. He hadn't heard that story before, which was strange considering all of them lived together. "She did?"

"Yep. Back when we first got together. I was an idiot back then, and I pushed her away too much. Everyone has their breaking point, and I pushed her to that point. She dumped me."

"How did you guys get back together?"

"As I was sitting here, staring up at the ceiling like this, I realized that I didn't want to lose her. I went back to her and apologized. Luckily, she forgave me and since then, I've been doin' my best to make her happy because I don't wanna see the sad look she gave me that night."

Natsu scoffed. "That's different. That was your fault. This wasn't even my fault this time!"

"I'm not saying it is." He faced the other boy. "Look, your relationship with Lucy isn't easy. She's a mortal and you're an immortal, there's bound to be some fights that happen because of it. But in all the time I've known you- and really think about how long that is- I have never seen you as happy as when you're with Lucy. Even if it wasn't your fault, are you really willing to lose her now?"

Natsu's gaze dropped to the floor. "Well why do I hafta be the one to apologize?"

"Well, it's not like she can just come here and do it. Besides, maybe it's not her fault either."

"What do you mean? If it's not my fault, then-"

"Maybe it's neither of your faults," Gray interrupted with a shrug. "It's not like she ever asked to date an immortal with a shit ton of secrets and baggage. And she doesn't even know about it. Without her knowledge, she's dating someone who makes things harder for her without a choice."

"Just tell me what I should do already!"

"Do you wanna be with Lucy?"

Natsu's hands balled into tight fists, his eyes lighting with resolve. "Yeah, I do."

"Then go be with her, idiot."

Without another word, Natsu dashed out the door.

Lucy's eyes fluttered open as a cold gust of wind washed over her. With a groan, she forced herself into a sitting position. Her head pounded after all of her crying, and the bags under her eyes had only gotten worse. Going to get some medicine, she turned, only to find a dark figure standing at her bedside.

A bloodcurdling scream slipped past her lips before a warm hand slapped over her mouth. With wide eyes, she watched as the hooded figure removed their hood to find pink tufts of hair.

"Shh!" Natsu said. He really hoped her neighbors wouldn't call the cops after that. But then again, if they didn't, maybe her apartment wasn't that safe to live in after all.

Lucy pried his hand off her face, panting. He must not have realized that his hand was large enough to cover her nose as well.

"Natsu!" she shouted, turning on the lights. "What are you doing here? I thought you were a murderer!"

"I want my key back," Natsu replied. His eyes bore into hers, his gaze serious.

Warmth crept up to the girl's cheeks. "W-What?"

"My key. I want it back."

"What do you mean?"

"I know I used to climb through the window all the time, but using the door's a lot easier. So, I want my key back." He held his hand out, shaking it with impatience.

Lucy arched a brow. "But you- we- I mean-"

"Lucy. I want my key back."

The edge of his voice sent a shiver down her spine. She took in his features. His eyes were a bit puffy and pink, his hair a disheveled mess.

"I don't understand," Lucy said, her voice just a whisper.

Natsu sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Jeez, Luce. Do I really hafta spell it out for ya?" Taking a step closer, he leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. His hands slid into hers, giving them a gentle squeeze. "I don't wanna break up."

Lucy's breath hitched in her throat. "R-Really?"

"'Course, weirdo. And I hope you don't wanna break up either."

"I don't!" Lucy exclaimed. "I overreacted earlier. And you're right, I was being a hypocrite. Telling each other the truth might not always be possible like I thought it was. Maybe… Maybe it's okay if we lie to each other sometimes… Right?"

"I don't mind if you don't," Natsu replied, his lips twitching upwards into a small smile.

"Well, as long as we don't lie about important stuff."

"Duh."

Natsu propped his finger underneath Lucy's chin, lifting her head so that he could press his lips against hers in a gentle kiss. Electricity shot through his body at the light touch, her soft lips moving against his. His arms snaked around Lucy's waist, pulling her flushed against him. His hands tangled in her shirt, clutching onto her as if he would lose her again if he let go.

Breaking apart for air, the two stared into each other's hazy eyes.

"Is it weird that we're doing this?" Lucy asked.

Natsu arched a brow. "Weird that we're kissing?"

"No, I mean being together and agreeing that it's okay to lie. Is it really? Don't get me wrong, I don't want to break up, but isn't that what normal people would do?"

Natsu shrugged. "Well you aren't normal. You're a weirdo. So it makes sense."

"I'm serious, Natsu."

"I don't know, okay? I don't know what other people would do in this situation. All I know is that I wanna be with you for the rest of my life, and I don't care what it takes."

A smile etched itself over Lucy's face. "Yeah, you're right. I don't care either. I just want to be with you."

Natsu grinned. "So? My key?"

"Oh, right!" Lucy grabbed the key from the nightstand, handing it back to him. "I believe this is yours."

"Thanks," Natsu replied, putting the necklace on, back in its rightful place. "Your eyes are super puffy, by the way. I can barely even see your eyes."

"Yours are puffy too, jerk!"

"Not as puffy as yours!" He reached out and poked the swollen skin. "I'm really sorry for makin' you cry, Luce. That's not what I wanna do."

Lucy grabbed his hand and gave him a smile. "Don't worry about it. Let's just call it even and forget about this, okay?"

"Sounds good to me!"

Taking her hand, he led her back to the bed. They cozied up under the covers, tangling their limbs into a ball of comfort. Natsu breathed in Lucy's scent while she traced her finger over his chest. With everything resolved between them, they let their eyes droop closed for some much-needed rest. Their secrets were safe, along with their relationship.

If only they knew that secrets always had a way of getting out.

[cryptidhanzoshimada]

hanzo calling jes cute? not directly to his face but probably one day jes does something, like, try to tip his hat when he's not wearing it, not uncommon, and he hears han say the word 'cute' under his breath and maybe if he were a different man he'd be insulted but instead he doesn't know what to do with himself bc cute?? he hasn't been called cute in years and it made his heart stutter bc hanzo thinks he's cute??

In Fareeha’s humble opinion, nothing feels better than a nice long shower after a nice long workout.  Zarya had run her ragged through a new weightlifting routine and then more than a few rounds of boxing and now all Fareeha can took forward to is her shower with surprisingly excellent water pressure.

What she is not looking forward to is opening her door and finding her brother spread eagle on the floor.  Goddammit this is the third time in two weeks.

“What is it this time Jes?  Did he work out shirtless again, or laugh at one of your stupid jokes.” Fareeha asks as she drops her bag on her bed and steps over Jesse on the way to the bathroom.

Jesse mumbles something but she can’t quite here it over the sound of the shower turning on.  “What was that?”

“He called me cute.”

That makes Fareeha pause.  Well that’s new.

She sticks her head out of the bathroom.  “Called you cute?”

“Called me cute.”

“Are you sure he wasn’t like, taking a jab at you?”

“Nope, he had this beautiful little half-smile on his face when he said it.”

Fareeha purses her lips, she’s got a little bit of time until the water finishes heating up, might as well let Jesse get all of this out now.

“Okay, tell me what happened.”

Fareeha takes a seat on her bed while Jesse finally sits up.  When he finally gets upright he wears a stupid little smile and his shoulders slump in the tell tale way of someone who is truly and utterly besotted.

“We were in the rec room, sittin’ on the couch.  Hana was sassin’ me somethin’ fierce while playin’ one of her games at the same time, how she does it I still don’t know.  But anyways, Lena eventually walked in and ganged up with Hana and stole my hat to top it all off.  Hana finally said that at least she wasn’t dumb enough to underestimate the spice of Indian curry and dump half a bottle of hot sauce into like I did last month and well I had to admit defeat there and so I went to tip my hat to her but I forgot that Lena had stolen it.”

“So you ended up looking like an idiot.  What’s new?”

“I mean, yea, probably for like a second there but I don’t need anymore sass today thank you very much.  Anyways that’s when Hanzo snorted a laugh and said ‘cute’.”

“I don’t know Jess, it sounds like he was making fun of you.”

“Naw, like I said he had this sweet smile and he said it so quietly it was almost under his breath.  If Hanzo was gonna to take a jab at me he would make absolutely sure that I could hear it.”

Fareeha laughs.  God, Jesse is so far gone over this man it’s entertaining.  And she really hasn’t spent enough time with Hanzo to dispute his interpersonal habits beyond ‘glare at everyone to make them go away’ (though she hasn’t seen that around the base as much lately, only around strangers).

“Alright, so he was genuine.  What are you going to do about it lover boy?”

Jesse’s head whips around with a panicked look in his eyes.  “What am I gonna to do about it!?”

“Yea.  It sounds like he actually might be in to you and you’ve been pining over him for the past month so what are you going to do about it?”

“He- You- I’m not gonna to do anythin’ ‘bout it!”

“Why not!?”  Though Fareeha shouldn’t be that surprised.  She asks this every time she finds him in here and it’s always the same.

“Because he might not actually be that in to me!  And yea we've all been here for almost a year but he’s still settling in and figuring out shit with Genji and-” Jesse comm suddenly goes off stopping him in the middle of his spiraling rant.  His look of despair is replaced by a bright smile and Fareeha has a feeling she knows who sent that message.  Good, her shower’s probably warm by now.

“Speak of the devil?”

Jesse is startled by her voice.  “Oh, uh, yea.  He’s just askin’ if I want to join him on the skybridge for a drink.”

“Hmm, sounds like a date,” she says, smiling knowingly.

“What? No, he’s just finally opening that bottle of shochu Genji gave him last month and wanted to let me try it.”

Fareeha rolls her eyes and gets up.  “Mhm, whatever you say cowboy.”

“It’s not!”

“Alright, just make sure to lock the door on your way out,” she says right before she closes the door the the bathroom.  She can just barely hear Jesse groan from the other side and a door close a few seconds later.  Before finally stepping in the water she fires a quick text off to Genji.

[its time we took matters into our own hands]

[draculalive]

Mina Murray's Journal

1 August. -- I came up here an hour ago with Lucy, and we had a most interesting talk with my old friend and the two others who always come and join him. He is evidently the Sir Oracle of them, and I should think must have been in his time a most dictatorial person. He will not admit anything, and downfaces everybody. If he can't out-argue them he bullies them, and then takes their silence for agreement with his views. Lucy was looking sweetly pretty in her white lawn frock; she has got a beautiful colour since she has been here. I noticed that the old men did not lose any time in coming up and sitting near her when we sat down. She is so sweet with old people; I think they all fell in love with her on the spot. Even my old man succumbed and did not contradict her, but gave me double share instead. I got him on the subject of the legends, and he went off at once into a sort of sermon. I must try to remember it and put it down:---

"It be all fool-talk, lock, stock, and barrel; that's what it be, an' nowt else. These bans an' wafts an' boh-ghosts an' barguests an' bogles an' all anent them is only fit to set bairns an' dizzy women a-belderin'. They be nowt but air-blebs. They, an' all grims an' signs an' warnin's, be all invented by parsons an' illsome beuk-bodies an' railway touters to skeer an' scunner hafflin's, an' to get folks to do somethin' that they don't other incline to. It makes me ireful to think o' them. Why, it's them that, not content with printin' lies on paper an' preachin' them out of pulpits, does want to be cuttin' them on the tombstones. Look here all around you in what airt ye will; all them steans, holdin' up their heads as well as they can out of their pride, is acant -- simply tumblin' down with the weight o' the lies wrote on them, 'Here lies the body' or 'Sacred to the memory' wrote on all of them, an' yet in nigh half of them there bean't no bodies at all; an' the memories of them bean't cared a pinch of snuff about, much less sacred. Lies all of them, nothin' but lies of one kind or another! My gog, but it'll be a quare scowderment at the Day of Judgment when they come tumblin' up in their death-sarks, all jouped together an' tryin' to drag their tombsteans with them to prove how good they was; some of them trimmlin' and ditherin', with their hands that dozzened an' slippy from lyin' in the sea that they can't even keep their grup o' them."

I could see from the old fellow's self-satisfied air and the way in which he looked round for the approval of his cronies that he was "showing off," so I put in a word to keep him going:---

"Oh, Mr. Swales, you can't be serious. Surely these tombstones are not all wrong?"

"Yabblins! There may be a poorish few not wrong, savin' where they make out the people too good; for there be folk that do think a balm-bowl be like the sea, if only it be their own. The whole thing be only lies. Now look you here; you come here a stranger, an' you see this kirk-garth." I nodded, for I thought it better to assent, though I did not quite understand his dialect. I knew it had something to do with the church. He went on: "And you consate that all these steans be aboon folk that be happed here, snod an' snog?" I assented again. "Then that be just where the lie comes in. Why, there be scores of these lay-beds that be toom as old Dun's ’bacca-box on Friday night." He nudged one of his companions, and they all laughed. "And my gog! how could they be otherwise? Look at that one, the aftest abaft the bier-bank: read it!" I went over and read:---

"Edward Spencelagh, master mariner, murdered by pirates off the coast of Andres, April, 1854, æt. 30." When I came back Mr. Swales went on:---

"Who brought him home, I wonder, to hap him here? Murdered off the coast of Andres! an' you consated his body lay under! Why, I could name ye a dozen whose bones lie in the Greenland seas above" -- he pointed northwards -- "or where the currents may have drifted them. There be the steans around ye. Ye can, with your young eyes, read the small-print of the lies from here. This Braithwaite Lowrey -- I knew his father, lost in the Lively off Greenland in ’20; or Andrew Woodhouse, drowned in the same seas in 1777; or John Paxton, drowned off Cape Farewell a year later; or old John Rawlings, whose grandfather sailed with me, drowned in the Gulf of Finland in ’50. Do ye think that all these men will have to make a rush to Whitby when the trumpet sounds? I have me antherums aboot it! I tell ye that when they got here they'd be jommlin' an' jostlin' one another that way that it ’ud be like a fight up on the ice in the old days, when we'd be at one another from daylight to dark, an' tryin' to tie up our cuts by the light of the aurora borealis." This was evidently local pleasantry, for the old man cackled over it, and his cronies joined in with gusto.

"But," I said, "surely you are not quite correct, for you start on the assumption that all the poor people, or their spirits, will have to take their tombstones with them on the Day of Judgment. Do you think that will be really necessary?"

"Well, what else be they tombstones for? Answer me that, miss!"

"To please their relatives, I suppose."

"To please their relatives, you suppose!" This he said with intense scorn. "How will it pleasure their relatives to know that lies is wrote over them, and that everybody in the place knows that they be lies?" He pointed to a stone at our feet which had been laid down as a slab, on which the seat was rested, close to the edge of the cliff. "Read the lies on that thruff-stean," he said. The letters were upside down to me from where I sat, but Lucy was more opposite to them, so she leant over and read:---

"Sacred to the memory of George Canon, who died, in the hope of a glorious resurrection, on July, 29, 1873, falling from the rocks at Kettleness. This tomb was erected by his sorrowing mother to her dearly beloved son. 'He was the only son of his mother, and she was a widow.' Really, Mr. Swales, I don't see anything very funny in that!" She spoke her comment very gravely and somewhat severely.

"Ye don't see aught funny! Ha! ha! But that's because ye don't gawm the sorrowin' mother was a hell-cat that hated him because he was acrewk'd -- a regular lamiter he was -- an' he hated her so that he committed suicide in order that she mightn't get an insurance she put on his life. He blew nigh the top of his head off with an old musket that they had for scarin' the crows with. ’Twarn't for crows then, for it brought the clegs and the dowps to him. That's the way he fell off the rocks. And, as to hopes of a glorious resurrection, I've often heard him say masel' that he hoped he'd go to hell, for his mother was so pious that she'd be sure to go to heaven, an' he didn't want to addle where she was. Now isn't that stean at any rate" -- he hammered it with his stick as he spoke -- "a pack of lies? and won't it make Gabriel keckle when Geordie comes pantin' up the grees with the tombstean balanced on his hump, and asks it to be took as evidence!"

I did not know what to say, but Lucy turned the conversation as she said, rising up:---

"Oh, why did you tell us of this? It is my favourite seat, and I cannot leave it; and now I find I must go on sitting over the grave of a suicide."

"That won't harm ye, my pretty; an' it may make poor Geordie gladsome to have so trim a lass sittin' on his lap. That won't hurt ye. Why, I've sat here off an' on for nigh twenty years past, an' it hasn't done me no harm. Don't ye fash about them as lies under ye, or that doesn' lie there either! It'll be time for ye to be getting scart when ye see the tombsteans all run away with, and the place as bare as a stubble-field. There's the clock, an' I must gang. My service to ye, ladies!" And off he hobbled.

Lucy and I sat awhile, and it was all so beautiful before us that we took hands as we sat; and she told me all over again about Arthur and their coming marriage. That made me just a little heart-sick, for I haven't heard from Jonathan for a whole month.