#this has been in my drafts since last august but I finally had my first laser appointment today

[hunter-sylvester]

Getting my only tattoo with meaning removed because life is meaningless 🥰

[kookslastbutton]

Those Eyes Chico ༓ myg (m) | Teaser

✒ Summary: As the new marketing director for Min Yoongi’s upcoming D-Day album & tour, you’re expected to bring your expertise to the table. This shouldn’t be a problem—you’re the best in the business and you’re used to drawing a strict line between your professional and personal life. But what happens when the lines you’ve fought to keep as separate blur for the first time?

pairing: idol!yoongi x plus size!poc!reader

genre/AU: angst, fluff, smut, slow-burn, coworkers2friends2lovers, winter setting, forbidden love?

word count: tbd, 835 for this teaser

warnings: oc is 28, Yoon is 30, oc is not originally from South Korea, oc has light brown eyes, swearing, mentions of alcohol consumption, mentions of anxiety, panic attacks, body insecurities, fear of being blacklisted, emotionally restrained Yoon, mentions of smoking, unstable parental relationships, conservative parents, mentions of therapy, mentions of dating scandal, eventual sexual content, and more specific warnings per chapter.

now playing: Sweet Dreams by The Last Shadow Puppets

a/n: Okay this has taken over six months to release but it's finally beginning and I am super excited to share! 🫣 I am low-key terrible at choosing a proper teaser so hoepfull this works haha. ANYWAY, this series is dedicated to my wonderfully crazy friend and beta, Gloom @theuselessdaydreamingidiot, and to all our fellow Yoon lovers bc we miss our sweet man SO MUCH 🥺 Enjoy! 🥰 Also huge thank you to @itaeewon for designing this beautiful series header! Love it!!

Series Masterlist

“Did you get the files I sent to you?”

The woman nods her head in affirmation while sweeping a few pieces of her long, silky hair behind an ear. To strangers, she appears to look about 24 which is only four years younger than yourself but nonetheless she’s the same age as you. Hei-Ran is her name, meaning “graceful orchid” according to Korean translation.

Hei-ran is one of Hybe’s newest hires and based on her experience, a near perfect fit to being South Korean boy group Tomorrow X Together’s new marketing manager. Until about three months ago, this had been your job.

You never imagined giving up the position after three years of working in the role. But with December right around the corner Hybe had other plans for you.

"Graduated summa cum laude with a bachelors degree in BTech in Electrical and Electronics Engineering and a MBA in Marketing from NYU Stern. You worked two years as a brand manager for U.S record label Atlantic Records immediately after graduating, and are now working at BigHit Music as a marketing manager for TXT including liaison with their global marketing team.”

You recall PD Bang’s voice vibrate in the back of your mind from mid-August. You thought you were called into his office to discuss details of TXT’s latest promo, so having your resume read back to you was a sweeping curve ball. Your determination must have far exceeded the heaviness you felt in your chest because before you knew it you, you were shaking hands with your boss in acceptance of your role – the new marketing director for Min Yoongi’s upcoming D-Day album & tour.

The tedious knot that’s formed in the nape of your neck reminds you that as surreal as the situation might be, it’s undeniably real.

Months spent drafting a comprehensive marketing proposal for D-Day; often until the wee hours of the night, inevitably takes its toll on even the mightiest of warriors. An entire new team of fifty people, all of who you’ll be in charge of orchestrating for the next eight months, doesn’t provide much to relief either.

You’re excited nevertheless. Working with one of the most respected artists in the music industry is an opportunity you couldn’t let slip by, especially since the album’s rock-inspired genre aligns closely with your own music taste.

“Thank you so much for helping me get settled __,” Hei-ran’s gentle voice returns you to the present. “I appreciate the time you’ve taken these last few months to train me despite the tight deadlines you have.”

Smiling, you shake your head. “It’s no problem at all and if there’s anything you need in the future, feel free to give me a call or stop by my office.”

“On the 16th floor right?”

“1656A. Take a left off the elevator and walk to the end of the first hallway. The door on the right is mine.”

Referring to any room on the 16th floor as your own is something you don’t take lightly. For one the offices are double the size of any other office spaces in the building. Yours in particular has a giant skyscraper window draped with heavy white curtains. Secondly, the floor above is the 17th floor which is exclusive to Hybe artists only.

"How's the proposal coming along, by the way?" Her curiosity is palpable, genuine in its nature. You’ve always appreciated that in an individual.

“It’s done,” you respond. “Only thing left to do is to prepare for our meeting with C-suite executives next Monday. It’s nearly perfect as is, but the presentation could use a bit of refining in terms of organization.”

Hei-ran is silent for a moment longer than usual before her next inquiry, which is undoubtedly the question on both of your minds. “I can't help but wonder what it'll be like to meet him for the first time,” she muses.

You don’t bother asking for clarification on who the “him” is; you’re already well aware that it’s Min Yoongi. The same subject has managed to intrude your own thoughts more and more as the date of meeting him draws closer. It's peculiar honestly, considering you’ve encountered him before. Granted, it was only a small handful of times the hallway, both heading in opposite directions. Min Yoongi typically greeted you with a hoarse 'Good Morning' those instances, along with a curt nod of his head. You would nod back with a brief 'Morning' yourself. Deep down you feel he'd make a quality friend, though it's only a premonition. It’s not like you actually know much about him beyond those small exchanges.

"I'm not sure what to expect, honestly," you admit. "I imagine it'll be similar to previous professional collaborations—composed, focused, and intense. D-Day is poised to become a global sensation for the next year, so it's going to need our full, undivided attention."

Hei-ran gives a knowing nod. “Good luck __,” she wishes you well as you head towards the elevator doors. Breaks over, back to work.

a/n: Chapter one will be released soon 🙃 Thanks for reading the teaser!

Masterlist | Requests: closed | Taglist | Fic Recs

no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

[curseofhecate]

My heart wont start anymore, for you

Sirius Black x fem!reader

She was in love with him. He never felt the same

1.7k

tw: mention of Y/n, slight swearing

This has been in my drafts since August. The ending is sloppy.

It had been going on for years now. Ever since she'd first saw him, that September 1st on platform 9¾, she'd only ever had eyes for him.

Stolen glances, innocent brushes of her hand against his, so many signs and yet he never picked up any of them.

Sirius Black was too focused on other girls to notice his best friend pinning after him, even now, after all these years. And yet her feelings never changed.

"So, who's that?" James teasingly asked the black haired boy, glancing towards a ravenclaw girl in their year, who was practically eyefucking Sirius from across the room.

"Jessica Monroe" Sirius smirked, then continued eating his breakfast. "Dude, that's like, the 3rd one this month" Remus pointed out.

"It's not my fault the ladies can't resist me"

"And as it seems, neither can you" Peter chimed in. "At least n/n here hasn't fallen for your charms yet" James joked, eyes set on the only girl in their friend group.

"As if!" She laughed, trying to cover up the rosy color of her cheeks.

Little did James know how wrong he had been.

It wasn’t until two weeks later when things really started going downhill. She had just returned from her perfect's duties when she found Sirius waiting for her in the common room. It was well past midnight and everyone had retired to their dorms long ago.

"Finally, I've been waiting for you for hours" the boy jumped up from his spot on the couch once he saw her. She stared at him confused. He gently grabbed her wrist and dragged her to sit beside him as he plopped himself on the couch.

"What are you even doing down here at this time?"

Sirius ignored her question. "I need to talk to you."

"Well, couldn't it wait until the morning? I'm exhausted" She groaned, leaning her head back on the couch.

He ignored her again. 

"I realized something."

His words had her sitting straighter in mere seconds.

Had he finally figured out her feelings for him?

She wasn’t exactly subtle about them either.

He must know.

Sirius looked at her. Whatever it was she was suspecting at that moment could have never even come close to what was yet to come.

"I've been sleeping with Thalia" he breathed out.

It wasn’t unusual for Sirius to sleep with different girls then dump them within the course of the next week. Most of the time he didn’t even mention who it was he was having sex with, so why would bringing her up now?

"Okay?"

She finally said not knowing how else to respond.

"The thing is, I want us to be more. As in, I actually have feelings for her. She makes me the happiest just by smiling at me. So much that makes me want to stay by her side until the end of my days."

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm in love with her. Hopelessly and utterly in love."

And it was in that moment when the little candle of hope she had burned out. 

The thing was, that even if Sirius was with other girls, it never lasted long simply because he had never loved any of them. The flame was just weaker, flickering.

And now there he was, talking about how he couldn't imagine a world without the blonde Gryffindor, going as far as to admit being in love with her. There was no candle anymore, only a paddle of melted wax where it once had been.

The girl in front of him, blinked back tears as she shook her head. "I want her to ask her on a date '' Sirius continued.

"But when I do, I want it to be perfect. This is where I need your help. You know her better than me, you can tell me what she likes, for example which kind of flowers does she like the most? And what’s her favorite color? Does she prefer a picnic by the black lake or stargazing at the astronomy tower?" the boy continued rambling until the Y/n stopped him.

And as much as it hurt her to do so, she did value his happiness more than hers. In the end she agreed to help him.

It had been three weeks since Sirius and Thalia started dating. And it was safe to say they were stuck to the honeymoon phase.

The two couldn't keep their hands off of each other. They were always touching somehow and every chance they got to kiss, they did. They'd go on dates every other day and more often than not they slept in each other's bed, at the point where Remus had started complaining that she was practically living in their dorm.

Not to mention that they were always together. And when they weren't, which was a rare occurrence, all Sirius could do was talk about her.

She didn’t blame him. Thalia was a girl made out of angel dust, the prettiest and kindest one could ever be. She had to be the sweetest thing to ever walk on this earth.

Yet Y/n couldn’t help but envy her. The blonde was everything she wasn’t.

Once the two reached their one month anniversary it had started to become frustrating. And the closer the couple grew, the further the two friends slipped apart. 

Sirius didn’t know what had happened between them. One second she was there, the other one she was gone, completely out of sight. It seemed to him that earth might as well have swallowed her whole and left no trace behind. 

In the months following Sirius and Thalia getting together, Y/n had avoided him at any and every cost. She still hung out with the rest of the marauders, they were her best friends after all just not when Sirius was around.

Instead she’d now hang out more with Lily, Marlene and Mary, the three growing closer ever since she started sitting with them at dinner. She’d joke about how her and Marlene were practically married at this point and she’d even had made friends with Regulus (or something along those lines) after finding him up at the astronomy tower. 

To say things had changed was an understatement. 

It was a slow progress too. Yet Sirius failed to notice it. Until now.

Him and Thalia had had their first argument the night before. It was unusual for the two to fight at all, much less not be on talking terms. Sirius needed to talk to his best friend but how could he do that when she was nowhere to be found.

It was in the common room, well after dinner when Sirius managed to spot her. She was sitting next to Peter, helping him with his potion’s essay. 

“Hey” he greeted taking a seat opposite her. She muttered a quiet ‘hi’ back but didn’t look up. 

He sat in silence for a little while, waiting for them to finish. When he finally decided he couldn't wait anymore, he cleared his throat. The two looked up at him confused. “Anything you need Sirius?” she asked, rather coldly. 

He wasn’t used to her calling him by his first name. It was either Siri or pads and sometimes ‘my star’ but never just plain Sirius. “Yes, actually. I need to talk to you.”

“Well can’t it wait. I have to help Pete with this and then I promised Lily I would put her hair into French braids” she said, trying to make up a lie to avoid him. She didn’t even know how to do French braids.

“It won’t take long, I promise”

“Fine,” She sighed. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Not here” he said, motioning for her to get up before doing so himself. He guided her upstairs to his and the boy’s dorm room. It had been a while since she’d last been there. And yet nothing had changed.

“What is going on with you?” Sirius asked after shutting the door closed and turning to her.

“What? Nothing. Everything is perfectly normal” the girl shrugged trying to play it off.

“Except it isn’t. You are never around anymore.We never talk anymore, you don’t even sit with us in the dining hall. I haven’t seen you since the last full moon and even then you didn’t talk to me. You were my best friend. Us against the world, remember? What the hell happened to us? What the hell happened to you n/n'' The more he spoke the more his voice rose. 

“No” she shook her head.

“What do you mean no?” He asked, frustrated.

“Sirius, you were the one who started pulling away. After you got with Thalia you were always with her. And when you weren’t it was your main, not to say only, topic of discussion.”

“That’s not true” he argued.

“Yes it is! Tell me Sirius had you even realized I wasn’t around you as much before today?” she defended. 

She was right. He hadn’t.

“And you know what’s worse? I was in love with you. I have been in love with you since the first day on the train.”

She has done it now. 

“Do you even know how fucking hard it is? Listening to someone you love constantly about someone else?”

Silence. She hadn't intended to say this but she couldn't have controlled it. She had finally reached her limit. 

Sirius looked down at the floor. He hadn't expected to hear such words from her yet he felt extremely guilty.

This was it. Her entire world came crumbling down and it was clear that whatever hope she had for salvaging their friendship was now gone. She had ruined it. 

She looked up. Sirius' gaze was still pinned to the floor. It hurt her that he wouldn't even look at her. 

She left the room slamming the door shut behind her. There were too many unanswered questions, more than before. There was confusion and then there were mixed feelings. It seemed that nothing was certain anymore. 

And in that moment her heart stopped. And she knew, her heart wouldn't start anymore, at least not for him.

[kaypeace21]

[The future of this BLOG]: SHOWS I'm planning on analyzing here & on YouTube

Interview with the vampire

Invincible

House of the dragon

The boys

Umbrella acadamy

Bridgerton probably (still haven't had time to watch part 2 yet)

stranger things: I have mixed feelings about reviewing it given what certain staff has said and done. I oscilate between wanting to review the final season or wanting to boycott it (especially as someone who has been part of the BDS movement for 1/2 her life). But, on one hand, It's not the fault of the underpaid (and talented) writers and staff who don't have these views. And I do believe some of the writing staff may have good intentions and want to give us a positive and powerful message to the audience about healing from childhood tr*uma. However, other members of the writing staff may just want to go down the stereotypical and popular-easy route. We'll just have to wait and see what happens in the last season. If I hear the ending isn't simply another re-hashing of prior seasons and it's more like s1-2 (without the cliches of s3-4). I'd be more inclined to review it by *cough* and watching it elsewhere. Once I was logged back on to tumblr: I did have a whole draft saved about my politics since I was a kid and why I still feel so strongly about such conflicts, today . But, I shouldn't make the topic about me- and I'm not sure anyone wants to hear my life story XD. So, the big point (to my followers) is regardless of whether I chose to watch it or boycot it-

I'm not deleting the old ST content: so do what you want with it (like, reblog, add details to reblogs I didn't notice). Have fun :D !

Analyzing ST certainly helped me improve in terms of media literacy (and it'll be beneficial for the future content I make). So even if it sometimes got messy here, I do appreciate all the positives the ST blog and followers brought to me.The kind words meant a lot. For those who want to unfollow me for my political beliefs , that's totally fine. That's your prerogative. For those who want to unfollow cause again ST was pretty much my whole blog: again I TOTALLY understand and I wish you the best :). I'm not going to judge, take away, or guilt anyone, for their choice of media they like. Enjoy it (I truly mean that).

For those who continue to follow my blog . I appreciate you SO MUCH! I've been gone from this blog for such a long time cause of school (and I appreciate those who stayed and were excited to see me again). The positive words meant a lot over the years. Everyone have a lovely day. Take care of yourselves.

Sincerely, Kay

ps: I'm open to other media suggestions too so you can drop them in my message box (recent films/ shows, mini/limited series, animation, heck i'm open to comedies and foreign media too).But, analyzing them will most likely be after the shows listed above .Right now I'm focusing on my national exam and my mental health. My first video will probably be in late August or early September. My test is August 20th. Hope everyone is doing well .I'm feeling much better mentally. Hope everyone is feeling the same way :)

for my 1st video I’ll just post it to youtube . But for other videos I may make a early access patreon (like a week before the next video comes out free on youtube). Have to google how all that works (or if there's better alternatives) . Totally fine if you can't afford it (you'll get to see it for free on youtube regardless :D) . I'll be honest . I'm primarily thinking of doing it cause I need to pay off those student loans and I'm trying to hopefully move out of state in a few years. Plus, I love analyzing media anyways (so making it a part time job would be a dream come true .

[bowties8glasses]

Two commissions made for @daroachie, both being his OC becoming real (designed)

One is Fabian, a smeargle whose tail lacks the fluid the species use for paint, he pursued making cooked and baked goods, using his dry tail almost like a food brush instead!

The other is Erena, a glaceon who is the main antagonist of Daro's story, you can read it here! c^^

Creative Process:

First commission is of Fabian (done in may), most of his lore was already set before, including his outfit which Daro had already doodled (left) which before starting I drew while pretending I didn't know what a smeargle looked like (right)

then came my genuine attempt

I choose to give Fabian a lil' red nose (like Rudolph) based on Daro's sketch (something he said was just him misremembering the pokemon)

I wanted the piece to involve Fabian doing some kind of multi-tasking, his hands on one thing while the tail is busy with another

it took a few drafts before landing on the version that became the final pic

Second commission was of Erena (done in august), it's been a long time coming considering her role and the fact her gf became real first

Daro notes for the design were just that she has a ice arm, and that she had "gremlim energy"

I started by drawing not her, but Sio and Cerys first (the main Daro OCs) so to use them as reference of how she'd contrast with them, especially Sio, who has something in common with her

designing process went by smooth, since Sio has more angular features than sylveons usually do, I thought Erena could then have more curled and rounded parts

most of my focus was on the face, I wanted her to have a meanine kind of look, using Jessie TeamRocket as reference for the eyes, plus I was dead set on giving her mouth a little "Lupin the 3rd"-type curve, Daro wasn't sure on it at first but now he considers it very important c^^

alongside a render of her standing on all fours, I wanted to do a pose that showed her "in action" of sorts

I first did the sketch that became the render, but before deciding on it I wanted to do another attempt, for a pose that also showed her back, which I thought could have unique markings kinda like a tattoo, unfortunately that pose wasn't working out

(unshaded version)

last detail was adding a black spot in Erena's ice arm, the arm was made after she got wounded, that spot is then is a trace of that wound

bonus cerys:

[pastafossa]

The last day of 2023.

And holy shit has it been a chaotic ride, one which you all shared with me, or that's what it feels like!

The Major Moments:

Feb: Cato's cancer diagnosis and discovery of weird mutated cells that likely won't be explained until after he passes away. He's still with me, fortunately! No idea how much time he has left but I'm grateful for every second

April: a small leak in my dining room ceiling turned into a bigger leak which turned into a massive hole in the ceiling, at least it wasn't winter???

May: DD Born Again Photos give us all a goddamn heart attack

May: I FUCKING REACH MY OVERALL 1,000,000 WORD COUNT ON AO3. 🎊 🎉 🎊 Next stop is 1mill for TRT!

June: Went to my first con since Covid! Drove all the way down to Philly to see Charlie Cox, WHICH WAS FUCKING AMAZING, HE HELD THE RED THREAD FOR OUR PHOTO, MY FANFIC DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE, AND I TOLD HIM WHAT DD MEANS TO ME AND HE WAS SO NICE I COULD CRY

June: At that same con, I finally FINALLY got to meet my bff @wonderlandmind4 in person after many many many late nights of chatting, and we just CLICKED like we'd been friends for years, which I should have expected, but still! And then I got to meet a bunch of my readers, too! Best con experience EVER

July: enter Whoops Covid Finally Got Me After 3 Years But Charlie Was Worth It ™

July: Finally dusted off my draft of Pasta's First Dark Fic cause even if my brain was too fuzzy to write, I figured I could edit a bit. And I did! And was pretty happy with the results!

August: Shit Now There's A Long Covid Heart Issue And I Can't Be Seen Until Late November Thanks Covid ®

August: leak in the garage leads to me losing about 65% of all the beautiful, special woods pieces I'd gathered over the course of six years for carving. Within a week I am gifted a huge bin of wood from a kind soul at my local witchy shop

Sept: TRT's 6th anniversary!

Nov: I was slowly getting back into the swing of things, doing a bit of writing in between learning to manage whatever was going on with my heart (which we'll hopefully figure out in January when I get all the results of testing in Jan)

Early Dec, and the worst week of my life: mom got sick. Within one day she went from not feeling good to needing an ambulance. By the next day, she was in the ICU - flu induced double pneumonia that was interfering with her breathing and heart issues. And with one more day, she was put into an induced coma and ventilated, without any of us sure if she'd pull through. They told us she'd likely be under for two weeks, potentially longer even if she made it. The amount of messages and supportive comments I got from all of you, the talks I had with @wonderlandmind4 and @shouldbestudying41, just the general sense of having a community to help me means more than I can ever say as you all helped me through that terrible, horrible moment, even if it was just gently messaging me to remind me to try to eat.

Mid Dec: against ALL odds, Mom was off the ventilator in a week. By week 2, she was out of the ICU. By week 3? Off to the physical rehab center. She was there a grand total of 1 week before she was allowed to come home to finish her recovery. Early December was the worst moment of my life, and yet it was also bookended by the best Christmas of my life even if it was spent at the rehab center, because I got to have my mama back, and hug her and tell her I loved her and make jokes, and now she's home and we've been watching Christmas movies and eating grilled cheeses, and as far as I'm concerned, that's what the holiday is to me: not presents and snow and lights, but this moment, this time with her. 'In all the places you find love, it feels like Christmas.'

In just a few hours for me, it'll be 2024. I have no idea what to expect going forward, or even what to plan for, much less a resolution. I know I want to get back to TRT when mom's a bit better (she still needs a lot of help, understandably). I know there are wood carvings I want make; friends I want to visit; witchy events at my local shop I want to go to. But other than that... who knows? If I'm lucky, things will be calmer than this past year. But even if they aren't, at least I know I have dear friends, all of you, and my family, including Pasta Mama, to help me through it.

Goodbye, 2023. Hello, 2024.

[etsuven]

rating: fluff cw: none includes: maybe badly written, wingpaimon because i feel like she can be very smart and perceptive when she wants to be, reader is pretty because of course you are <3, summary: aether has a little crush on the merchant he visits often...

note: IM ALIVE DONT WORRY!!! i've had no motivation lately since ive been going to bed too late and waking up too early, and that just leaves me feeling drained.... anyways when i first started writing this it was 12:43 AM LMAO. it's not late now, buit it is a few days later-. anyways x2 i've had this in mind since before August 27th and i needed something quick to write and this was in my drafts anyways im rambling- also this is my first time writing for aether forgive me-

he saw you for the first time on an emergency food run.

aether and paimon had been on the road for a while, and because of that, they never actually had the time to properly shop. but now that everything in sumeru was pretty much done, he finally felt it was time to properly do some looking around. (also because paimon was begging for something other than sweet madames to eat.)

the famous traveler took note of all the items around him as he glanced around the market place, keeping track of things he might have wanted to buy in the future. paimon was flying next to him, talking his ear off about things he didn't care to listen to.

"traveler, look! let's go over there!" the small flying companion was already making her way over to the stand before he even had a chance to respond, which also meant that he had no choice but to follow. he noticed that the selection of items was quite nice, but they were quickly put on the back of his mind as he noticed the person selling the items.

you were already talking to paimon, a pretty smile on your face, and your hands gesturing excitedly as you told her about your items. due to the angle of the sun at that time of day, you had light shining on you in a way that looked almost angelic. the shrill voice of paimon reached his ears, but he barely registered it as he was too focused on the sound of your voice.

"i assume you're with this one?" you spoke, gesturing to paimon. aether nodded, snapping out of his little trance as you continued to speak. "she's been pretty interested in this harra fruit jam, and it was just made last night! would you care to buy some?"

harra fruit jam? he had heard of harra fruit being ground up into spices thanks to its aroma, but jam? a spicy jam wasn't the most usual thing, but it seemed fun to try.

taking out his bag of mora, aether handed you the amount needed for one container of jam, as well as a few other things paimon had secretly picked out. the two said their goodbyes, leaving soon after with new ingredients in hand.

-

aether continued to stop by over the next few weeks. for the harra jam, of course. nothing else.

he had to admit, it was quite good. adding it to certain foods gave them a bit of a kick that he didn't seem to mind very much. he even added it to the food he brought with him whenever he had a commission in dragonspine.

the jam was his way of disguising the fact that he secretly wanted to see you. you had become accustomed to his and paimon's presence over those few weeks, and you had even started to give him more of a discount than he usually got from other merchants.

'you're my most loyal customer!' you always said, the same pretty smile on your face. you were pretty too, but you wouldn't catch aether saying that out loud. paimon, however, seemed to catch onto the tension forming between the two of you.

the lingering touches you shared when you handed aether his items, the shy smiles sent between the two of you, the fact that her traveling companion seemed to be absolutely star struck when he first saw you. (and the fact that he constantly visited you 'for the harra jam.')

it was obvious that the two of you had a little thing going on, and paimon couldn't stand the sight of her favorite person fumbling around like a love struck idiot. which he was, but he could have tried to hide it more, he was embarrassing her!

paimon set her plan in motion one evening. aether had gone to bed super early after a long day of commission after commission, leaving the flying child to fend for herself. glancing at the sky, she noticed that it was around the time where most merchants began to close up.

flying out of their shared hotel room, paimon raced to catch you before you set off to your own place. luckily she was right on time, as you had just started to pack up you things for the day.

"(y/n), (y/n)!!" she yelled, her voice projecting over the almost empty shopping district. you jumped at the sound of her voice, a smile gracing your face once you realized who was calling you. "good evening, paimon! how come you're by yourself, is everything okay?"

there was a bit of worry in your tone, and paimon quickly shook her head, reassuring you that everything was fine. "nothing's wrong! aether's at the inn right now, he's had a loooong day, so he's turned in early for the night!"

you let out a little hum of acknowledgment, reaching into your bag. you handed her a small piece of homemade candy, her eyes lighting up in excitement at the sweet. "is that so? don't wander off too much, i've heard how easy it is for you to get carried away!"

paimon tried to splutter out an excuse, only stopping when she realized she had a plan to fulfill. "speaking of getting carried away.. i'm sure you've heard of the upcoming festival?" you nodded, a small smile on your face.

"of course i've heard of it! i've taken a day off, so i'm free to use it as i please!" the flying child smiled, feeling her plan slowly come into motion. she continued to talk with you for a little bit, only leaving when she finally finished her candy.

now, to start the next part of her plan...

-

the first day of the festival had come quickly, and aether was getting prepared to leave when a small cough caught his attention.

looking in the direction of the noise, he noticed that his travel buddy was tossing and turning in her bed. another cough left her mouth, and aether quickly found himself walking over to her with worry etched on his face. "are you okay, paimon?"

paimon nodded, a small smile on her face before it was ripped away by another cough. something was... off about it, but the traveler quickly pushed that thought to the back of his mind. "paimon's fine, don't worry! she's just feeling a bit under the weather... you might have to go to the festival without me..."

aether tried to argue with her. he could just stay with her and go tomorrow when she felt better, but paimon refused to let him do so. eventually he did agree, but not without leaving her with a few snacks to keep her fed.

now by himself, the traveler wandered around the festival area, taking in the colorful sights and smells of the area around him. it was quiet without paimon, but he found that he didn't mind it too much. now he actually had the time to look at what he wanted.

while browsing for items, aether thought he caught sight of you. he ignored it, thinking he was just imagining things. that was, until you called out for him.

"oh? aether, hello!" you grinned, waving at him from a stall nearby. you collected your items and skipped over, continuing to speak. "i saw paimon last night, so i was sort of expecting her to be with you today! did she wander off somewhere?"

aether shook his head, telling you the reason why paimon was gone that day, and that it was just him for now. "since i'm by myself too," you started, adjusting the bag you were holding. "let's hang out together today, it can even be like a little date! if you'd like, that is-"

the traveler nodded quickly, his face flushing as you grabbed his hand to lead him around. he had a sneaking suspicion that paimon had something to do with this, maybe she snuck out when he was sleeping the previous night.

oh well, perhaps he would bring something back for her. just as a little thanks.

[fuckyeahdindjarin]

Fuck Yeah 1st birthday fic vote

I survived one year on this hellsite! 😉 It's been a wonderful almost 365 days in our little Pedro fandom - March 19 was the day I posted It Would Be, and what a ride it’s been since! Thank you friends, mutuals, readers, followers and everyone who makes it so much fun to create and to share with you guys ❤️

How about a ✨ fic vote ✨ to celebrate? It's been a while since we had one, and I've been very mean and teasing y'all with so many plot bunnies. Help me decide what to write next!

Since I have no plans to start a new series after I finish Palomino, these are all one- or two-shot ideas. I hope to get round to writing all of them at some point, but I will write them in the order of votes received. Fic summaries below the cut!

Young!Joel Miller x Baker!F!Reader | outbreak, what outbreak? | fluffy meet cute with a smutty second part | planned two-shot

Summary: What if Joel doesn't forget to buy himself a cake for his birthday? But by the time he remembers, all the bakeries in his neighbourhood are closed - except yours.

The first draft of this idea was Speed Dial, which was supposed to be a PWP, but as it turns out, I'm not great at PWPs... so how about a two-shot instead?

Javier Peña x Centra Spike Analyst F!Reader | accidental audio voyeurism | one-shot, might be more | sexual tension galore

Summary: It’s New Year’s Eve. You’re alone and transcribing a tape recording of an informant for Javier Peña, something you've done a hundred times before - except this time, you overhear something that is clearly not meant for your ears.

I've been stewing in this idea since before New Year's. Probably the most creative idea I've had so far, and will probably be difficult to write, but this fic haunts my dreams and I will have no peace until I sit down and write it.

Agent Whiskey x F!Reader | straight-up filth | planned two-shot

Summary: He's absolutely not your type. But hey, what happens in Glastonbury stays in Glastonbury - especially mistakes in the shape of a silver-tongued, smarmy American cowboy sporting a ridiculous belt buckle.

After going to a music festival last weekend, this is all I've been thinking about.

Joel Miller x F!Reader | self-conscious!Joel and shy!Reader | 👏🏻 body positivity 👏🏾 | planned one- or two-shot with potential to be more

Summary: Joel has a problem. Having settled into some semblance of a 'normal' life in Jackson that no longer involves running for his life and living off scraps, his clothes are getting a little… tight. Self-conscious, he deals with it the way he does most things - he ignores it.

That is until one day, the zipper on his jeans finally gives up after one too many desperate tugs, leaving him stuck. With neither Tommy nor Ellie anywhere to be found to get him out of the tight spot, Joel begrudgingly heads to the clothing store he’s seen in town for help - and a new pair of jeans.

There, he meets you.

Thank you everyone who has been so enthusiastic about this idea! It definitely has Grays vibes, but can you blame me for wanting to give this man reassurance? I’m also super excited to write a shy reader, which is a departure from my others ❤️

Frankie Morales x F!Reader | enemies to lovers | second chances | angst | planned two-shot

Summary: At the Summer House where you and the boys have always spent the last week of August, some traditions are held sacred. Above all, Frankie always brings a girlfriend, and you're always single.

You really should’ve known better than to tempt fate. The summer Frankie shows up alone and you bring a boyfriend is when it all falls apart. 

I am beyond excited about this one. I've teased the idea before - it's going to be so self-indulgent and will have all the tropes that I've wanted to write for. It's been a while since I've written angst, and damn this will be angsty!

Got any burning questions? My askbox is open as always! I'll leave this poll up for a week, excited to see what the results will be ❤️

[sloanesallow]

invisible string

Five years after their graduation from Hogwarts, Ominis travels to Siobhan Sloane’s home in Nottingham for an overdue visit. Having suppressed his feelings for her for years, the encounter causes chaos in his heart. And then, to his everlasting surprise, Siobhan says, “please take me to bed.” Who is he to deny her?

Ominis Gaunt x f!MC  Tags: Sexual Content

read on Ao3 | read on wattpad parts of this story have AI generated voice overs on TikTok @ siobhan_sloane

 August, 1898

Dearest Ominis,

I would be delighted to have you visit my home. It has been far too long. 

Your ever-patient friend, S. Sloane

Ominis read over the letter with his wand again and again as the carriage trotted along, finding humor in its brevity and warmth in its tone. Sloane— Siobhan , as he insisted on calling her—was right, it had been several months since he visited her last, and it was hard not to hate himself for it. Long gone were the school days in which they spent most of their time together, usually up to no good with their mutual friend Sebastian Sallow. It had been five years since their graduation from Hogwarts, and despite the assurances they’d stay close friends, fate had other plans. 

Sebastian had initially— surprisingly —accepted a professor’s position at the school, taking over for a retired Hecat in Defense Against the Dark Arts. After his sister Anne made a miraculous recovery, the two moved to America, and the last anyone heard from them they were gallivanting across the land, simply enjoying life. Siobhan was still living in her childhood home just outside Nottingham, devoting her time to magical research and muggle-wizard relations. As for Ominis, he’d accepted an Auror’s position with the Ministry of Magic, much to the chagrin of his family. Despite his estrangement, the harassment continued, his family sending letters threatening the severance of his inheritance if he didn’t accept one of the many unfavorable marriage contracts they’d drafted. He tossed all Gaunt correspondence to the fire. 

When he learned his new assignment would be taking him to Leicester, the first person he thought of was Siobhan, and sent an owl to inform her he’d be in the area. He’d be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t hoping for an invitation, struggling to remember the last time he saw her— figuratively . It had been Christmastime, the previous year, a somber affair with it being so shortly after her father’s death. His final wish, she’d said, was to see his only daughter married and happy, a promise she intended to keep. Ever since, the emotions he thought he’d quelled years ago resurfaced, plaguing his mind. Siobhan would soon be wed, and he’d have to put his lofty dreams of pursuing her romantically to bed for good. The visit would ache and soothe his heart all the same. 

Since she technically lived amongst the muggles in the countryside, he took care to transfigure his wand into a walking cane—a disguise he’d relied upon now for years while working for the Ministry. It was not as precise, but he could still easily get around without too much scrutiny by the common-folk. He had barely exited the carriage, paying the driver with what he hoped was the appropriate amount of muggle money, when he heard her boots along the cobblestone, rushing down the path to greet him. 

“Ominis!” He expected her excited demeanor, but did not anticipate the way her arms wrapped around his neck, the force of her hug nearly toppling them to the ground. He steadied himself, reaching his free hand around her back as he returned the embrace. It wasn’t that he had an aversion to physical affection, he just found it strange when people, especially Siobhan, wanted to touch him. If he had it his way, he’d stay wrapped up in her warmth forever. 

“Merlin’s beard, have you gotten even taller ?” He was sure he hadn’t, but Siobhan loved to tease him about it ever since he spouted up in seventh year, towering over her and Sebastian both. She was looking up at him, that much he could safely assume, and he angled his chin down to flash her a smirk. 

“Perhaps you’ve gotten shorter , my dear,” he teased, chuckling when she playfully pinched the back of his neck in mock offense. 

“Come along, the supper is almost ready,” she pulled away, and he followed closely behind. 

Once they were inside the cottage, he took stock of the surrounding environment, checking if anything had changed since he’d last been there. He touched the back of a settee, dragging his fingers along the wool of a blanket that had been there last winter. Siobhan had draped it over him when he fell asleep before the fireplace. It was empty now, unused due to the summer heat, but based on the sound of chickens in the garden and a slight breeze, she had opened the windows. 

“Sebastian sent me a lovely bottle of whiskey for my birthday,” her voice called from the kitchen a few paces away. Ominis frowned to himself—all he’d sent was his well wishes in a letter. “All the way from New York City, though, I’m not sure how it’ll taste with the duck.” 

Annoyance prickled his spine—he didn’t want to talk about Sallow. He had long moved past the turmoil the boy had put them through during their school years, but still did not enjoy it when he was the focus of conversation. “Might we stick to wine?” 

Siobhan hummed in thought, oblivious to his short-lived displeasure. “Good idea.”

Ominis made his way to the table, disappearing his cane to the magical ether in which the rest of his travel belongings were temporarily stored. He followed her movements around the space as best he could, listening as she set the table and poured the wine. He wished he could be of more assistance, but then again, Siobhan enjoyed being able to dote on and serve her guests. 

“This smells delightful,” he complimented, waiting until he was sure she’d taken a first bite before lifting his silverware. “Tastes wonderful, too.” 

“Thank you,” she replied. “It all came from the garden, and the local butcher gives me a discount.” 

Pleasantries aside, he struggled to think of a topic for casual conversation. There was so much he wanted to ask her, so much he wanted to say, but was unsure of where to start. Would she consider moving to London so he could visit her everyday? No , that was too forward, and assuming. She’d never leave the place where she grew up. What if he agreed to move to Nottingham? He had little experience with farm animals, but was willing to learn. Even if he had to smell like sheep everyday, and chop wood with an actual axe. 

Siobhan broke the silence for him, in an unexpected manner. “He proposed we get married.” 

Ominis nearly choked on his wine, snapping his hand to his mouth to wipe the spittle from his chin. “What— who proposed?” 

“The butcher, Mr. Nelson,” she explained, rather casually. He was truly at a loss for words, staring in her direction with a flabbergasted expression. Where did this come from? She sighed. “You disapprove.”

He scoffed, “I was unaware my opinion would be so valued when it came to potential suitors of yours.” 

“ Of course I want to know what you think,” she started. “He might be thirty years my senior, and already grey in the beard, but I suppose you could call him handsome. Oh, and he’s missing at least three fingers, lost to a mislaid cleaver. But he has a successful business, and is rather friendly with all the old bitties around town. How does Mrs. Siobhan Nelson sound?” 

He was going to be sick. “You can’t be serious.” “Definitely not,” she snickered. It suddenly dawned on him that she was having a laugh at his expense. Her laughter grew, and he couldn’t help but smile at the sound, despite his slight embarrassment. “The look on your face, Ominis.” 

“Please tell me the fifty-year old butcher didn’t really ask for your hand,” as preposterous as it sounded, and unlikely as it seemed, he still couldn’t bear the thought of her agreeing to be a butcher’s wife. 

“No,” she said. “But my options do seem to be dwindling. My father is rolling in his grave.” 

Ominis supplied his own joke, “Have you considered sending for Leander ? I hear Prewett is still a bachelor. A very successful one at that.” 

“And you aren’t?” 

Touche . Though, he would never suggest she marry him . At least not outside his fantasies. In reality, even if by some miracle she felt any romantic love for him, it could never work. His family would never allow it. A muggleborn? He was ashamed of what other, more unforgivable terms they would call her, terrified of the potential physical harm they could cause. 

She pulled him from the darkness again, a cheerful giggle lighting his senses. “Could you imagine ? Me and Leander ? Our poor children.” 

What a horrid thought. 

The rest of the meal was spent reminiscing and laughing about their past adventures and mishaps, catching up on what they’d been up to as of late. Ominis told her about his recent promotion with the Ministry, and Siobhan shared the details of her latest research on the curative properties of mallowseet leaves. As the conversation settled, he swallowed the last of the wine from his cup, licking the tart flavor from his lips. It was getting late, judging by the increased insect activity outside. His nose twitched—it smelled like it might rain. Siobhan let out a contented sigh, and he wished he didn’t have to leave. 

“When are you expected in Leicester?” she asked, as if reading his mind. There was a solemn edge to her tone. 

“By tomorrow afternoon, at the latest.” 

“And here I’d gone through the trouble of setting up the guest room.” So hospitable—once a Hufflepuff, always a Hufflepuff. “Shouldn’t you enjoy a hearty breakfast before chasing down wayward wizards?” 

That did sound appealing. As much as he wanted to stay, his worry about her reputation held him back from agreeing. It wouldn’t be proper, in or outside muggle society, now that they were grown. A small voice in the back of his head wondered if he’d be able to resist further temptations. “And what will your neighbors think about you having an overnight guest?” 

“I’m an unwed woman who lives on her own,” she countered. “I’ve already been labeled a spinster, might as well add harlot to the list.” 

Ominis let out a hearty laugh, tossing his head back in amusement. He reached out, thankful to the ease in which he found her hand. “I’ve missed you, Siobhan.” 

If she was surprised by his honesty, she quickly recovered, flipping her palm up to squeeze his fingers. “And I, you.”

Ominis awoke to the sound of summer rain and the pad of soft footsteps in the hall. He continued to listen through the sleepy haze of his mind, confused when the pacing didn’t fade away. What was Siobhan doing awake? Was she simply using the facilities, or had a bout of insomnia taken over? He knew she was prone to nightmares, just as he was, and couldn’t help but feel worried. Curiosity finally got the better of him and he sat up, hesitating before he stood and somewhat clumsily made his way to the door, leaning against the frame as he tried to parse out what Siobhan was mumbling beneath her breath. 

“Is it morning already?” he asked, sarcastically. 

She let out a startled gasp. “ Oh! I’m so sorry, Ominis. I didn’t mean to wake you.” 

“The rainstorm is the more likely culprit,” he replied. “And what is your excuse?”

“I was—” she cleared her throat. “Just…closing the windows. Wouldn’t want the rain to get everything wet, now would we?” 

A lie? Interesting . 

“Are you sure ?” he questioned. 

Siobhan said nothing at first, the nervous shuffle of her feet placing him within arms reach. “You have to promise not to tease me.” 

“I promise,” he agreed without knowing the terms. 

“I was trying to find the courage to either join you, or ask you to my bed.”

Oh. His heart lodged in his throat, an instant wave of warmth awakening the more male parts of his body. It was the last thing he expected her to say, the last thing he expected to occur that evening. Her tone allowed him to assume, but he needed clarity. 

“You’ll have to be more specific than that.”

“Ominis.” His name, so soft on her lips, alluding to so much more. Her hand laced with his own, and she stepped closer. “Please take me to bed.” 

Gladly . 

Ominis pulled her back into the room, allowing her to lead until they were standing at the foot of the bed. Siobhan, to his everlasting surprise, had made the first move, but he wouldn’t be outdone. He hooked his arm around her waist, pressing his hand flat against the small of her back and scooting her closer to his body. With his other hand he reached up to face, cupping her cheek within his palm. He traced the line of her jaw, stretching his slender fingers so they curled around her neck and threaded into her soft hair. Her bottom lip quivered as he pressed the pad of his thumb to her mouth, a puff of hot breath meeting his skin as he slowly dragged it down. 

“Ominis…” There was his name again, coming out like a desperate whisper, her body arching to chase his touch. “ Please .” 

It was too easy to taunt her, “please, what ?” 

Siobhan inhaled sharply, unable to stifle a whimper. “ Kiss me .”

Who was he to deny her? 

Ominis did as she asked, slowly at first, acclimating to the feel and fit of her lips against his own. It was better than he could have ever imagined—soft, warm, and perfect . He traced his tongue along the seam of her lips, swallowing her sigh as he licked into her mouth. Siobhan slid her hands around him, eagerly accepting his kisses, one clinging to the fabric of his sleepshirt, the other threading through his hair. He grazed his teeth along her bottom lip, breaking away for the slightest gulp of air before returning in a fervor, languid kisses giving way to pure passion. 

She tugged at his shirt collar, nimble fingers loosening the buttons until she could slide her hand inside, pressing her palm flat against the skin above his heart. He reached down to cup the back of her knee, lifting it to hook her leg around his waist as he pulled her tight to his body. She moaned into his mouth, repeating the noise when he rolled his hips, creating a delightful friction between their partially clothed bodies. His conscience seemed to catch up to him, and he titled his head away, swallowing hard as he caught his breath. It would be too easy to give into temptation and simply bed her, especially given her seemingly pliable state. But Ominis wouldn’t allow himself this pleasure if it didn’t have a deeper meaning, or a promise he’d be able to make love to her again and again, in perpetuity. 

“Siobhan,” as painful as it was to detangle himself from her, he needed to be sincere without the distraction of her soft skin. 

“Is something wrong?” 

“No,” he disliked the anxiety in her voice, as if he was about to come up with an excuse to leave her. “Not at all.” 

“I need to know,” he licked his lips, swallowed his pride, and bared his soul. “I love you, Siobhan. I have loved you for what feels like a lifetime already. If we are to continue, I need to know if you feel remotely the same. I can’t—I won’t— do this if it meant to occur only this once. I’ll always want more. Call me selfish, call it what you want, I will always want more .”

Siobhan was quiet, worrying him until she closed the gap between them again, kissing him sweetly and softly as if for the first time. 

“I do. Feel the same way, that is. I have loved you as long as I can remember,” she said, the words whispered against his lips. There was no doubt to what she was saying. “I love you, Ominis. Never doubt that. I will always love you.” 

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him tightly as he deepened the kiss, unable to respond in any other way. She loved him— he scarcely believed it, clinging to her as if she’d disappear if he let go. She responded in kind, quickly undoing the remaining buttons of his shirt before sliding it off, tossing it to the floor. They paused, if only for air, Siobhan sliding her hands across his shoulders and down his chest. He hoped she could feel the wild beat of his heart. 

“You’ve done this before,” she hushed, and he sensed her trepidation. He understood her meaning, guilt tugging at his heart.  

“I—” he sighed, nodding once. Better not to explain the circumstances. “Yes. Does that bother you?” 

“Does it bother you that I haven’t?” 

“Of course not,” he assured, caressing her shoulders to calm her nerves. “I am at your whim, darling. Whatever you desire, you need only ask.” 

“I want…” the rest of her sentence went unfinished. 

Ominis hummed, sure he could elicit a better response. Despite her naïveté, Siobhan was a confident woman—after all, she had been the one to initiate this situation. He brushed the wild hair from her face, leaning to whisper in against her ear. “You’ll have to speak up, my dear. Do you want me to… kiss you ?” 

He did just that, softly, placing another along the nape of her neck, kissing along the hem of her nightgown. He tugged at the sleeve until the skin of her shoulder was exposed, tracing his tongue along the dip of her collar. 

“Yes,” she finally breathed. Progress . 

He curled his hand around her waistline. “Do you want me to touch you ?” 

“Yes.” 

“Where?” He slowly slid his hand upwards until he tentatively cupped her breast. “Here?” 

Siobhan made an agreeable sound, repeating it when he brushed his thumb across her clothed nipple. Ominis pulled at her nightgown again, this time lowering the fabric completely until it pooled around her feet. He kissed her neck, surely leaving bruises in his wake, her rapid pulse beating against his lips. With both hands he explored her body, groaning at the silken softness of her skin beneath his fingertips. He palmed her breasts once more, this time arching down to lick and suck at her nipples until they were pointed peaks beneath his tongue.  

Ominis trailed one hand lower, squeezing at her hip before sliding his hand around to fondle her buttocks, grinning at the little squeak that escaped her throat. He could do better than that. Lifting her leg again, he pressed his fingers into the flesh of her thigh, scraping his blunt nails down and up as he inched closer to her centere. 

“Here?” he asked again, hissing at the wet warmth that greeted his fingertips. “I already know the answer.” 

He traced along her seam as she clung to him, crying out as he curled one finger inside. M erlin preserve him , she was so hot and wet already, his briefest of touches already causing her legs to spasm. He pressed his clothed erection to her hip, moaning as he thrust up to mimic his hand’s movements. 

His voice was hoarse, “do you want me to fuck you?” 

“ Yes .” If she was scandalized by his term, she didn’t show it, gasping when he removed his hand. 

“All in good time.” 

She dug her nails into his arm, whining. “If I knew you’d be this much of an insufferable tease, I’d have never asked.” 

“Admit it,” he laughed, finding joy in the way she yelped as he plucked her from the ground to place her on the mattress. He leaned back to shed the rest of his clothing before kneeling on the edge of the bed. “You love it.” 

There was something else she wanted to say, he could sense it as he loomed over her. Ominis relaxed his expression, hoping his advances hadn’t startled her. “Tell me.” 

“I wish—” she cut off, and he could only assume what she was going to say. “I wish you could see me, Ominis. The way I’m seeing you now. You’re beautiful . I—I can’t believe you’re here, with me. I feel like I’ve been dreaming about this forever .” 

“What I wouldn’t give to see you, Siobhan,” he sighed, allowing her to pull him to her so their lips could meet. He rested his forehead against hers, hating that magic couldn’t give him this one thing. “I want to see what your mouth looks like after I’ve kissed you breathless. I want to know the expressions you make as I enter you for the first time, and I want to see my name on your lips as you’re screaming in ecstasy.”

“ Oh …” was her breathy reply, and he smirked—he’d stunned her into silence. He adjusted her so she was propped against the pillows before sliding down her body, leaving open-mouthed kisses in his wake. 

“Now, open for me, my love,” he kissed below her bellybutton, shifting his body to lie along the mattress between her legs. “I want to taste you.” 

Siobhan complied, spreading her knees further apart to accommodate the width of his shoulders. His hands firmly grasped her thighs as he licked along the jut of her hipbone before pressing the flat of his tongue against her, sliding her open to sample the wetness he found there. Ominis refrained from immediately devouring her, overcome by the heady scent and her soft mewls of pleasure. 

He continued, maneuvering one of her legs so her knee was hooked around his shoulder, allowing him greater access. Slow measured strokes turned into faster ones, darting his tongue to her clit and sucking until she was screaming in blissful agony. 

“Oh, God !” 

He paused, murmuring against her sensitive flesh, “Tell me, is it God that is giving you pleasure, or me?” 

Siobhan’s shaky laugh dissolved into another moan as he advanced, lapping at her like a starved man. With a gasp for air he replaced his mouth with his hand, sliding two fingers through the slick gathered at her entrance before pushing inside. He could hear her fingers grasping desperately at the bedsheets as she cried out. 

“ Ominis !” 

So she could say his name afterall. He curled his fingers up in a come-hither motion, and Siobhan writhed beneath him, legs frantically swishing across the sheets as she fought her end. That wouldn’t do , he thought—he’d help her find that sweet release. 

He nuzzled the soft flesh of her inner thigh, mouthing the words against her skin. “Be a good girl, and come for me.” 

He moved his lips to her center again, circling her clit as he thrust his fingers deeper, coaxing her to just let go . Her hips lifted from the bed, her fingers threading through his hair, tugging to keep him close. With one shuddering moan, she collapsed, trembling as the ecstasy washed over her senses. He could’ve found his own release just then, pressing his strained arousal hard against the mattress in a vain attempt to stave off his pleasure. Removing himself from her, he rested his cheek against her hip, and listened to the way she struggled to catch her breath. He grinned, allowing himself to momentarily indulge in his own ego— he’d done that. 

“Ominis,” she beckoned, combing what he assumed was disheveled hair from his brow. He lazily made his way back up to her, meeting her lips in a breathless kiss. She sighed as he trailed away, kissing along her jaw to her ear, down the slope of her neck and back again. She smoothed her hands against his shoulders, nails gently scraping at his back, and he lowered his body, stopping when he heard her surprised gasp. 

“You understand, don’t you darling?” He gradually dragged his hips down against hers so she could feel the heat of his cock between their bodies. “I need you,” he whispered against the shell of her ear. “Say you’ll have me, Siobhan. Please .” 

Ominis hadn’t meant to sound so desperate, but that’s exactly what he was. A desperate, foolish man who’d wasted so many years not ravishing the woman he loved. He needed to make up for lost time, starting tonight. 

“ Yes ,” she sighed, arms circling around his middle to pull him closer still. “I’ll always have you, Ominis.” 

A promise. It was more than what he could’ve asked for. He shifted, bracing his weight on one arm as he reached down to grasp his length, reminding himself to go slow for her sake. He pressed against her entrance, clenching his jaw at the overwhelming tight heat that encompassed him. She tensed, and he curled himself around her, embracing her and murmuring words of encouragement until she relaxed, allowing him to slide forward until he was fully sheathed inside. 

Ominis could feel his whole body thrumming to the unsteady rhythm of his heart—or maybe it was Siobhan he was sensing. He refrained from cursing, “you feel… incredible .” 

He moved, gradually retreating before pushing forward again, mustering all the willpower he could to not spend himself right away. It needed to last— he needed to last. Ominis would’ve been content to keep the leisurely pace, listening to the way her soft sighs mixed with the rain, the slight creak of the bed echoing through the room. 

Siobhan surprised him, turning her face to press a kiss near his ear. “ More .” 

Ominis eagerly complied, grasping her waist tightly with one hand as he fully withdrew, capturing her wondrous gasp as he lunged forward. He found a steady but quick rhythm, and with every thrust she hushed incoherent words, sending silent prayers sent to God and Merlin and him . Siobhan clung to him, attempting to stifle her whimpering sounds as he moved back to hook her legs around his hips. He leaned back over her, the change in angle allowing him to reach deeper, her cunt pulsating around his cock—it was torture, sweet, euphoric torture . 

“None of that now, darling,” he hissed, finding her hand pressed to her mouth. He laced their fingers and pressed them into the pillows above her head. “Don’t be shy… tell me .” 

Her nails scratched down his back before grasping tightly at his hips. “Make me feel like I did before,” she sighed. “I want that—I want you .” 

He fucks into her, more than willing to give her what she wished. He always would, given the opportunity—he’d worship her until the end of time. Determined, he thrusts harder, faster until the friction makes it difficult to focus. She was falling apart in his arms, limbs trembling as she crested a new climax. Mixed breaths shorten into gasps, urgent pleads and sharp whispers of I love yous pushed him to meet her. His hips stuttered and as he clamped his mouth and teeth along her throat he snapped forward, practically growling as he spilled inside her welcoming heat. 

In the aftermath, Ominis struggled to regain his composure, barely able to keep his body lifted so he wouldn't crush her. Siobhan was breathing deeply, softly humming as she floated back down to earth. With his last remaining strength he pulled away from her, rolling to his side, pulling her close so her back was flush against his chest. They could clean up momentarily—perhaps enjoy a shared bath—but for now he wanted to bask in the afterglow.

Siobhan was snickering as she traced a finger along his arm. He gathered it, locking their hands together. “And just why are you giggling ? Not the kindest reaction for a man’s ego.” 

“I’m not laughing at the performance ,” Siobhan clarified, though he had already assumed that wasn’t the case. “It’s the situation . I had hoped something like this would happen when I invited you to visit.” 

“Naughty girl,” he playfully scolded, tickling her sides so he could listen to her continued laughter. “Should I be worried that I’ve been taken advantage of?” 

“Heavens, no !” she shifted in his arms, likely to face him. “I love you, Ominis.”

“I love you ,” he replied, warmth enveloping him again as she pressed chaste kisses along his face before finding his lips. “I’d be honored to make an honest woman of you.” 

“That’s one way to propose marriage,” she teased. 

“I want nothing more than to be your husband, Siobhan,” he clasped her hand, holding it to his cheek as he kissed the underside of her wrist. All too familiar fears started to creep up and he struggled to steady his racing heart. “I may be estranged from my family, but that will not stop them from coming after us. We may never know peace.” 

“I understand,” was her quiet reply. “But the danger is worth it, if it means I am with you. I am not afraid, Ominis. I will gladly fight for you, run away with you. I want everything—to be your wife, to be the mother to our children and, God willing, I want to grow old with you.”    

“You are enough for me.” 

Ominis could find no other words to say, allowing her comfort and love to settle over him, deep within his bones. Despite feeling undeserving, and selfish for allowing it, he was happy—content. He always would be, as long as Siobhan was at his side.

[yuriko-mukami]

Ecstasy Writing Process...

Updated: 09/10/2023

The first draft of the main story finished on August 20th, 2023, and the special chapter October 9th, 2023

📖 Word count: 44 133

📖 Library scene count: 6

📖 Smutty scene count: 4

📖 Biting scene count: 6

📖 Cover art: Needed

📖 CG edits: 1/2 done

Prologue - final version done

Ecstasy 01 - final version done

Ecstasy 02 - final version done

Ecstasy 03 - final version done

Ecstasy 04 - final version done

Ecstasy 05 - final version done

Ecstasy 06 - final version done

Ecstasy 07 - final version done

Ecstasy 08 - final version done

Ecstasy 09 - final version done

Ecstasy 10 - final version done

Epilogue - final version done

Brute End - final version done

Manservant End - final version done

Vampire End - final version done

After Story - final version done

Special - the first draft written

17/07/2023: I made this post for myself to follow the progress of the story. And now, I can't but laugh since with two chapters written we already have two library scenes... That's Ruki and Yuriko for you. 🤣

19/07/2023: Three chapters in, three libraries visited. Oh my, these two... 😅 Jokes aside, it's so nice to write Elizabeth and Yuriko's interactions but also Ruki and Shin's bickering.

24/07/2023: Oh boy... I felt bad when I had to write another Laito scene. Such a disgusting moment but I think it still serves the story. But I can't wait for writing sweeter scenes between Ruki and Yuriko later...

27/07/2023: I haven't been able to write as fast as I hoped, but I'm still making progress. There are so many tiny things I need to fit into this that I start to regret I decided to follow the game structure. I need to think if I want to do that in future stories or if should I simply make my own structure for those...

Also, I ordered two CG edits yesterday, instead of one. Now, I need to decide which chapter will get one. The other goes to the After Story.

28/07/2023: I hoped I would have reached Ecstasy 10 by today but I guess that was a bit high goal. Still, I'm happy with these results. And damn, I enjoyed writing Ecstasy 08 today.

31/07/2023: Oh my... It was so much fun to write Ecstasy 09 too, even though the chapter isn't happy at all. But I think Yuriko has great moments there. Poor Ruki though...

31/07/2023 || Second Note: I managed to write Ecstasy 10 and start Ecstasy Epilogue. Of course, there is still a way to go with all the endings and the After Story... but I begin to have my skeleton version here. I'm rather positive that the first draft might be finished in August. Of course, there are editing rounds to come but still... I'm pleased about this.

02/08/2023: I wrote both Brute and Manservant Ends... and oh boy, that was quite a trip. Prepare yourself for a yandere Ruki. Now, I only have Vampire End, After Story, and Special chapter left before it's time to write all the smut scenes~ My reward is almost here! 💙

03/08/2023: I finished the first draft of the Vampire End. Huh, that was quite a roller coaster. The text is terrible at the moment though, such bad writing... but since I'm going to edit the story anyway, I don't mind it at this point.

Also, my goal was 30 000 words for this story but I guess I will go past that since I reached it already and there are still things I need to add. Like all smut scenes.

04/08/2023: OH MY GOSH! The story's first draft is pretty much finished. Only the smut scenes are missing from the main story.

I will work on the special story a bit later since it won't be released on Tumblr but in the ebook version of the story. So, the next project is to scribble three different types of smut scenes. 😏 The fourth and last one will be at the end of the special chapter.

09/08/2023: Haa... I have such huge writing urges but I got an unexpected job offer for three weeks and now I'm all stressed out and tired whenever I have free time... 😢 I should stop saying yes to these odd job offers, I guess... since I already have the job I love. But I'm bad at saying no... Buuut I managed to start the first smut scene! I hope I have the energy to finish it tomorrow or the latest at the weekend.

12/08/2023: I just finished the first smut scene of the story... and I think it's the dirtiest one so far in the whole His Possession. 🙈😳 The next ones won't be this dirty I think, since they serve different purposes for the story... But gosh, I rarely turn into a blushing mess because of my own writing but this... We'll see if I edit it milder or not... 🫣

17/08/2023: Finished the second smut scene. So now, there is one to go for the main story (there will be one in the special chapter too). Soon, I can leave this story in Ruki's admin's care. Though... tbh, it might still take a while since I have been so damn tired after work. Writing has become slow and difficult because of this. But I'm trying my best. I want to publish this story by the end of this year.

20/08/2023: The main story is finished. 🥳 I will write the special later, but everything else is now drafted. Of course, there will be a lot of editing and I might even add scenes here and there but mostly the story is now formed.

Anyway, the next step is to give this in @ruki-mukami-dl's hands but I'm positive that everyone else can read it before this year ends. So, look forward to that.

09/10/2023: I got the special chapter back from @ruki-mukami-dl today. I still need to make some fixes in it, but it's mostly done. It will be published only in the ebook version of the story. But it will bring almost 20 pages worth of extra content. The chapter will be in Ruki’s point of view, and it can be rather triggering for sensitive people. But it surely was interesting to write together with Ruki’s admin 💙

Other than that, I'm making the cover for the printed book on the weekend. So, the ebook's cover is on its way, too. Then, just one final CG edit and everything is ready for November. Ah, I can’t wait to share the story!

[chayscribbles]

chayscribbles’ monthly writing update ☆ august/september 2023 double feature

☆ STATISTICS.

words written: 4273 in august; none in september BUT that's because i did a lot of revising

projects worked on: Gemini Heist in august; Andromeda Rogue in september, then procrastinated so hard i ended up writing a few paragraphs on Third, Secret Wip

proudest accomplishment: i compiled all my AR1 beta feedback without giving in to the urge to set the book on fire and also myself

books read: Network Effect (Murderbot Diaries #5) by Martha Wells

☆ GENERAL COMMENTS.

so basically i started off august decently solid, working on gemini heist while andromeda rogue was off being torn apart by the betas. (i'm joking. it didn't get torn apart. i think you guys were being way too nice actually.)

and then all kinds of shit hit the fan in my personal life all at once in mid-august. both good and bad. it was a lot.

anyways the first half of september was spent recovering from all that, BUT i took a week off work mid-september to catch my breath and also get back into writing, and it was really good for me.

on another note! i am very seriously considering making an etsy shop for some of my art, because as much as i loathe the thought of monetizing my hobbies, we are living in a cost of living crisis, and i don't wanna be in my ice water soup era forever, ha. anyways stay tuned. (and if you think it would be a good idea/you think yourself or others would be interested in buying things PLEASE LET ME KNOW. EXPLICITLY. because otherwise i will assume no one cares and the idea will fizzle out.)

more specific wip-related comments + featured excerpt below.

☆ COMMENTS: ANDROMEDA ROGUE (draft 2 editing)

i went through all the beta comments during my week off and while i am glad it doesn't look like i'll have to do any more BIG rewrites, editing sucks and i want to give up.

☆ COMMENTS: THE GEMINI HEIST (draft 0.5. okay fine it's draft 1 but i feel better about myself if i call it draft 0.5 okay)

honestly when i was working on this feels sooo long ago i don't even remember what there is to say?

i hit 20K at some point in august. i think.

OH YEAH i "finished" act 2/7. the quotation marks are because i absolutely did not finish it, i only finished writing all the main plot-relevant scenes and skipped anything else. which means there's like a whole chapter and a half that haven't actually been written bc they're probably gonna be exposition or character building stuff that i haven't figured out yet and i'm hoping will be easier once i know what actually happens in the rest of this story. (reminder that i am a plantser.)

anyways i suspect this wip will be going dormant again for a while as i focus on getting AR ready for publishing. (sidenote it's been over a year since i started the GH draft and i feel like i've done fuck all on it besides come up with useless lore and make extremely specific playlists. world's slowest writer. the playlists slap, though.)

☆ FEATURED EXCERPT.

uh have this random snippet of Euna about to pop off!

Somewhere far, far, away, Leo was shouting, “Just get your ass out of there, Li!” but her voice seemed muffled in Euna’s ears, blocked out by the rage that had been steadily mounting ever since that guard shot her arm and ruined the fight for her. All she could hear was the blood rushing through her own ears, the buzz of the guard’s electrified gauntlets, the crackle of the electricity in her own hand. She reared her good fist back and slammed it into the guard’s face. Their nose made a sickening crunch against Euna’s knuckles. Blood flowed down over their mouth and chin as they staggered back, but Euna wasn't done. Her right arm, still spouting sparks, swung into the side of their head, finally bringing them down. Before they could get up again, Euna dropped on top of them, pinning them to the ground with her knees on their chest. She grabbed their shoulders and yanked their upper body off the floor, preparing to slam them down one last time— Purple light surrounded her. For a frightening second, she couldn’t move. Then she was thrown off the guard and dragged, upside-down, through the air towards the exit.

☆ TAGLISTS. let me know if you want to be added/removed to any of them.

general taglist:

@nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @onomatopiya @quilloftheclouds @ashen-crest @writeblrfantasy @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @extra-magichours @avi-why @lefttigerobservation @chazzawrites @bardolatrycore @innocentlymacabre

andromeda trilogy taglist:

@bebewrites @nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @onomatopiya @akindofmagictoo @quilloftheclouds @nora-theteawriter @ashen-crest @corpsepng @writeblrfantasy @toboldlywrite @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @cheerfulmelancholies @extra-magichours @writeouswriter @cilly-the-writer @lefttigerobservation @rose-bookblood @drowsy-quill @chazzawrites @cynic-and-chief @enchanted-lightning-aes @aesa @outpost51

gemini heist taglist:

@florraisons @akindofmagictoo @cream-and-tea @nicola-writes @memento-morri-writes @antique-symbolism @rose-bookblood @afoolandathief @pepperdee @avi-why @zonnemaagd @chazzawrites @analogued @enchanted-lightning-aes @innocentlymacabre @kahvilahuhut @celestepens @cilly-the-writer @extra-magichours @onomatopiya @outpost51

[enneamage]

I got an ask asking about the Nikifold breakup timeline but I accidentally deleted it, so this was the response that was meant to be attached to it.

(Archive readers, I got cold feet on the post that this was a response to saying that it’s looking like the Nikifold relationship ended in cheating. It’s still a possibility, but as I sat on it for longer I got lost in the possible loose ends so I nuked the initial post and went over the source videos again.)

It was, at least, a suspiciously close shave. It might be safter to say that the thing that burned the Nikifold /p bridge for good was the relationship between Jack and Eleanor. I’m not the best at keeping track of solid timelines when it comes down to it but there have been suspicious breadcrumbs along the way that suggest that some interest was shown before Jack and Niki properly separated, and that there was some overlap there.

My read on nikifold was that it was a situationship or had some ambiguity attached to it rather than a straightforward relationship-- the kind of setup that gives you feelings but no solid container to put them in. I want to say that they went abruptly sour around July-August. If I go back to the ‘large, unlabeled blowout’ theory, there was a severing point where things became quite abruptly not good between them. The simplest answer may be that this was Jack and Eleanor having flirtations, but it could be more textured than that and they only started moving closer together after that point rather than that being the turning point itself. I have kept in mind that the cheek kiss video (July 2022) probably introduced a lot of pressure into their dynamic and the question of being public or ‘official’ started hanging over them a lot more aggressively, throwing fuel on the fire.

(Edit from future: Between Jack saying that his ex girlfriend hexed him and Niki saying she burnt the scrapbook of her previous relationship because he cheated, this looks more like a traditional hidden relationship that ended in cheating. hindsight is 2020.)

I’ll show my work so you get what I’m trying to interpret:

“we’ve been together nearly six months” -Jack “I have a girlfriend” VOD, uploaded February 20th 2023. Jack states that they got together in August after not speaking since their first meetup at a party in June 2022. Both agreed that their first dates could be described as parties that they happened to both be at where they spent the majority of their time together.

August 2022 feels like the action zone. A lot of the timestamps are imprecise because it takes a while for vods to get posted and vlogs to get edited, but things seemed normal-ish until around this month.

August 16th, Niki posted this tiktok, what a way to begin the end. (Another edit: I remember Niki wearing this exact outfit a bit before this was posted, and the longer I’ve sat on it the more it seems like she make this tiktok draft privately for fun and then posted it on the day that ‘something happened.’)

Jack and Niki Willingly spent time together for the Sleepover vlog posted on August 20th, clip on the ranboo vods channel places the filming time around august 13th, probably even earlier than that – Them moving at the same time in the same direction in the vlog felt very “duo-y” to me, and backs up that the final stream together wasn’t just a fulfilled obligation to stream.  

Vod from when they last streamed together posted August 28th likely streamed earlier in the month, Streaming isn’t dating but going from how bad their public separation got there’s at least some significance to this. (Edit: had a look at a website that marked this as August 12th, an interestingly wide delay between recording and upload)

Niki does a stream about going on break for her mental health (briefly, not the focus of the stream at all) brings up being single and how she has wanted to avoid the feelings of dependency that relationships bring due to BPD. A lot of people relate to this as one of the big separation landmarks. - Very quick clip channels date this around the 29th, Niki states that she took two weeks off where she didn’t have any contact with the internet, which would ballpark the start of the break around the 16th.

Disclaimer is that I don’t want to completely attribute the state of Niki’s mental health to the state of her relationships, she’s got an enormous amount on her plate with or without her romantic life. It’s just that this seemed to be a turning point in the timeline where the before and after of her and Jack seems to abruptly shift and get progressively worse from there, it’s still hard to play ‘chicken or the egg’ from outside.

“The second time we met up and I slept here is when the queen died” – Jack, talking about September 8th 2022, a very solid time stamp because of the world event attached to it. Both at a boat party where they spent the majority of their time together the day before. Jack says that this was when they were still trying to figure out if they were together or if this would just be a series of hookups, which means that they were ‘together’ at least once before.

“I got three new tattoos and a piercing this week” – September 15th TikTok from Niki, strongly suggesting that they were related to recent emotional turmoil.

This toktok from Eleanor is interesting because it suggests that Jack was a “Guy she told her ex not to worry about.” I don’t know what her personal breakup timeline was but that could give some more detail to when they came in contact and what their chemistry was at the time.

Something happened that caused raw feelings, most people following the story seem to agree with that. If it was only the fallout from the video causing the meltdown I’m compelled to believe things would have been somewhat more sympathetic than they turned out to be. Niki has been peaceful with exes before so it seems that there’s a schism here that goes beyond a mutually agreed upon separation.

The fork in the road keeps presenting itself, either this was a breakup quickly followed by Jack and Eleanor becoming an item or there was some overlap. The thing that’s driving me crazy is I swore that somewhere along the way I saw a post where Niki overtly said something along the lines of wanting a BF who doesn’t cheat, but I can’t find it for the life of me, so the situation stays murky in my brain.   

[angst-in-space]

july '24 writing progress

words written: 13.5k

most words written in a day: 1,115

least words written in a day: 0

yearly total: 79.1k

projects worked on:

ya sci-fi book rewrites

finished a draft of the soukoku oneshot!

started writing the bsd regency au!

finished editing & posted the last chapter of sylvix dreamscape fic!

sylvix pacific rim au

works published in july:

you're a dream (i'm never waking up) - chapter 10 (fe3h / sylvix)

july goals

meet my camp nano goal of 30k words for the month / approx. 1k a day

finish ya sci-fi book rewrites? haha? *laughs through my tears*

finish first draft of soukoku oneshot

start a first draft of bsd regency au

implement beta feedback for sylvix dreamscape fic ch 10 and post

august goals

f-finish ya sci-fi book rewrites?? for real this time?? 🥹

keep up with goal of approx. 1k per day for 40k in 42 days challenge

edit (maybe post?) skk oneshot

make some progress on bsd regency au

maybeeee update one of my other multichap fics that i haven't updated in a long time?

perhaps work on some other fic?

notes:

july was pretty hectic for me... i went on 3 trips this month (a family reunion, a family vacation, and a wedding) so there was a lot going on, plus work was busy etc. etc. so honestly i'm patting myself on the back for getting anything done at all. i did not reach my goal of writing 30k or even getting halfway to it but THAT'S OK!! this was (i think?) my second-most productive month of the year so far, so that's impressive!

i stiiiiillll am working on ya sci-fi book rewrites, but am just finishing up the big climactic chapter. and the three remaining chapters after that are fairly short and not as complicated, sooo maybe i can get those done this month? 🤞

i actually got quite a bit done fic-wise during july! most notably, I FINALLY FINISHED EDITING AND POSTING THE LAST CHAPTER OF SYLVIX DREAMSCAPE FIC!! which took me over a year to post, oops. it had been about 4 years since i started that fic, so posting the final chapter was an emotional experience—but i'm really glad i stuck with it, and seeing people's reactions and kind comments has made me really happy. 🥹

i also finished a draft of my soukoku oneshot! it's about 7k and there are a few parts i want to edit, but i'm hoping i can get that done & posted sometime this month. i also started writing the bsd regency au (which is a joint soukoku & shin soukoku fic)—really excited for this one bc i've been planning it for months. probably will not be done with it for umm a Very Long Time but glad to have at least started it, and hope to get a chunk of it done during august.

i'd also like to work on a few fics i've had on the backburner... both in terms of writing and editing/posting. i hope to continue writing some other fics, mainly the sylvix pacific rim au (which i did work a bit on in july!) and i hope to maybe update some older fics as well since i have a huge backlog of stuff i haven't posted... oops. i'm trying to kinda just have fun posting my fics again and not let my perfectionism get to me too much. after all, i write fic bc i want others to enjoy it!

oh yes also some friends and i are taking on the 40k in 42 days challenge which seems super fun and helpful! i'm not sure if i can write the full 40k but i am definitely gonna try and hope some good progress comes out of it!

thanks for reading and wishing everyone a wonderful august 💖

[physalian]

The Woes of Formatting

I am… 22 hours into formatting ENNS for print (now ebook) and am making this post for posterity’s sake to say: Formatting is so. Tedious. I had to start over thanks to Amazon going “ha you didn’t set your margins properly,” and also some last-minute changes to the text. Yesterday (7/24/24) after a full day of work, I worked on Book from 2:30pm to 11:30pm. Today is probably going to be about the same.

My neck hurts from staring at my monitor, my pinkie hurts from the strain of holding a computer mouse in one position since 6am. I have forgotten to cook lunch and dinner, but I did have breakfast.

It doesn’t even feel real yet. I am exhausted. But you know what feels great? Eliminating widows and orphans on the pages to erase the page count only by one. If you don’t know, those are the little hanging words on the bottom line of a paragraph or the top of a page that can be resized to fit on the line above it.

Getting to the last page of the chapter and realizing there’s only 3 or 4 lines of text left eating up an entire piece of paper, and then scrolling back through the chapter like a madwoman to nudge other paragraphs around to eliminate that extra page… I was literally cheering in my room in satisfaction.

For the record it shouldn’t take you this long, but I wanted it to be pretty, and Amazon is incredibly precise with their formatting requirements down to 0.001inches. So I had to reformat the cover art, which took a while. Then I had to fix the margins at least 3 times until no more errors showed up. Then I had to reread the entire book for last-minute changes. Then I had to format the chapter header pages.

Before that, though, I had to make the art for the chapter header pages. And re-learn how to do all of the formatting on InDesign.

So here I am, 22 hours in, finally onto the ebook that will be done tonight goddamn. And I just want to say, if it’s within your power to do as much of the work yourself as you can, fucking do it.

I’d be losing my mind with stress if I was waiting for a cover artist to make adjustments whenever they deigned to find my order a priority. Or the person I’d be paying to format this book. Losing. My. Mind. Maybe after the ridiculous goose chase I have been on with editors for this book has completely murdered my faith in paid beta readers to do shit in a timely manner (ENNS' first draft was written in 31 days, it took from 2/25/24 to 6/10 for my tiny army of betas and the AWOL failed betas to deliver, then 6 weeks for the professional copy edit). Anyway.

Yeah it’s taken me a long ass time, on top of two full corporate-nonsense workdays, but the satisfaction I have felt hammering this project out isn’t comparable to paying someone to do it for me. I got the manuscript back from my copy editor and I wasn’t excited, I was like “I needed this 10 days ago thanks” (in my head) and then got right back to work. Copy editor is necessary, don’t get me wrong, it’s absolutely necessary, but the catharsis that I have now was definitely absent then.

So. Yeah. This is rambly and I’m not sorry. Even after the ebook is up for preorder there’s still work to be done and money to be spent. But I’m forcing myself to take a break, pause, breathe, appreciate the work I have already done.

I am hours away from launching my first published novel. Hours.

It doesn’t feel real. August 25th, 2024, Eternal Night of the Northern Sky's official release date. Gahhhhhhh.

—

For anyone curious:

Cover was done in Photoshop (I have the Lightroom student package for $9.99/mo)

Formatting was done in InDesign (%#&%# $35.99/mo after 7 day trial choke on rocks, Adobe)

Formatting did not need to be done in ID, but other one-time fees were either more expensive when I can cancel my subscription after the month is up, or the free versions were too limited and constricting in their capabilities.

I’m far too nitpicky to not have complete creative freedom and control over my work, with all the hours I have put in. So Adobe it is.

Back to work!

[withoutyouimsaskia]

Remember Me, Special Dreams - A Thank You

It is with profound, bittersweet pleasure that I can announce that I have completed the final chapter of Remember Me, Special Dreams. I am looking to post in the next few days once I have done my proof reading checks.

I’ll come clean with you, I’m really not ready to let this story go.

It all began mid-August 2022 while on a train back from Brighton. The Sandman had only just come out and I had very quickly become obsessed (thank you, Neil!), dedicating a lot of my spare brain power to thinking about it.

I started wondering about what I would say to Morpheus if I met him, particularly since I had been experiencing intense parasomnia hallucinations and night terrors at that time. It sparked an idea for a fanfiction.

The first sentence I wrote was the Daenerys Targaryen joke from chapter 3 and from there, I worked backwards to be able to facilitate this conversation. The rest, is what has played out in the 39k words that I have spent so much joyful time composing.

For the past 5 and a half months, I have lived and breathed this story.

The reader and Morpheus have constantly been in the back of my mind. I spoke their conversations out loud when I was alone. I researched the lore, pored over freeze frames from the series, soaking in every detail of the character's appearances and the locations.

When I began, I had no idea where I wanted the story to go. I just knew that I wanted to try something new by writing in reader self-insert style for the first time, and I wanted to write about Morpheus.

They say "write what you know", and dreams and nightmares and night terrors and parasomnia are things that I have a lot of memories of. I'd just never had a context in which to explore them so comprehensively until The Sandman came into my life.

And writing it has been like therapy for me. Last year was a year of two halves. I went to some dark places. But being here with you all, and writing this has been a release, an escape and a way of processing some of my own trauma and coping mechanisms that I had been exploring in CBT from March to August 2022.

That’s why it is so hard to let go. It’s been a refuge for me. Sure, I could come up with new chapters. There was a moment where I nearly did by bringing in a whole other puzzle for the reader and Morpheus to work through but it felt like I was trying to force something that was reaching a natural, happy ending. And I am so very happy with the way things have ended with my two beloved leads.

I'd like to sign off with a few words to my readers and followers who have accompanied me throughout this. Thank you all so much for the comments, likes and re-blogs and private messages. Hearing your thoughts and having your support has been immensely overwhelming and tear inducing. I send virtual hugs and love to each and every one of you. What a wonderful community we have here! Massive thank you and endless love to my IRL friend @theviridianbunny for suggesting I post the story on here, and for also listening to my Sandman-related screaming and the chapter babble that falls from my mouth every time we meet up ❤️

Now, to start working my way through the list of all The Sandman fics I have been saving in a draft on my phone. Turn me into a puddle from over-exposure to fluff! I am ready!

Until next time, all my love and best wishes. And don't forget to listen to your dreams and desires every once in a while 🥰

Saskia ❤️

P.S. Masterlist of chapters and playlist coming soon...

[fayoftheforest]

HI FAY IM A HUGE FAN OF YOUR WORKS AND 'SHIP IN A BOTTLE' HAD ME IN A HEADLOCK FOR DAYS /POS 🥺

Im just curious if you been working on anything lately? I miss your works and Friday ficrec events. Hope you are having a great summer tho :>

Hi there! Thank you so so much for your message, it was so sweet to read :D

I've noticed a pattern of behaviour within myself where between May to July every year, I wind up taking an impromptu hiatus from the fandom. I'm just usually burnt out from school work and my patience for buffoonery within the fandom has worn thin. Like the opposite of a bear (so functionally in this case... a vampire?) I must hibernate from the internet for three sunny months before I can return, rejuvenated, and ready to hunt for fish (or blood or something). But as you can see I'm still popping back in every so often! I don't have a set date I'll return full time, but I'd like to get back to doing ficrec Friday posts again in August, if that's something people are still interested in seeing :)

In the meantime, I have indeed been working on a few things behind the scenes! Most recently, I've returned to a longform project I've had on the back burner since last summer. It's called "Deny Me And Be Doomed" and it's a reality swap bunny AU between mild-mannered college student Butters and a dystopian-TFBW Professor Chaos >:] I had planned to write a second round of 50k words in July for Camp NaNoWriMo like I did last year, but I only made it about 9k before life got busy and I fell out of the writing habit again 😮‍💨 I wanna try to adjust my goal to a more achievable 25k this month, and 25k in august, so that hopefully I'll be able to finish the first draft by the end of the summer! And then there's just some editing and it'll be good to go :D My dream is to be able to post the first chapter on my 20th birthday, 1st of October, because I've been sitting on this project for so long and it would be so exciting to be able to finally share it with you lovely readers 🩷 I have no idea if I'll make that deadline, but hey, I can dream 🥰