#this has been in my drafts for like a week and I haven’t realized lol

[h31fd3ad]

We need to make Transformers weirder

Like come on, their robot aliens think of the possibilities

[every-sanji]

I don’t have much to say other than I really love your dedication to this, you don’t miss a pixel if it even smells like sanji lmao. You haven’t stopped since I started following you, and I feel like this is an archive the people need. Oda would be proud, I think ❤️ just showing so much needed love your way, have a good day :)

wawawawa thank you!! as thanks i'm gonna give a glimpse into my journey running the blog under the read more :)

this blog has been through a lot of phases at least for me. anyone who has been around since the beginning probably remembers when i still added captions to every. single. post. that eventually evolved into my occasional tag rambles you still see today but the captions ranged from commentary to just random thoughts i was having at the time. for whatever reason i thought i had to caption every post and this lasted for a while until i realized i didnt have to do that and could just post the photo.

also when i first started the blog it was at the very very start of covid and i got very bored because all of my college classes suddenly halved their work load and i had all the time in the world to do whatever i wanted so i instantly threw like 500 posts in my queue and drafts because this was still the era when you had a maximum of 300 posts in the queue. and since you cant reverse chronological sort your drafts, every single day as posts left my queue i would go into my drafts, scroll through all 200 posts in there, and press add to queue for 5 posts to refill it to the maximum.

eventually though i went back to school and suddenly didnt have as much time as i used to so i dropped down to anywhere from 1-3 sanjis a day depending on the era. this is part of why it took so fucking long to get through water 7 and enies lobby because i was going through it 3 posts at a time. i kept the queue barely afloat with like 30 posts at most in my queue and did a chapter or two every week. this period lasted about 3 years as i finished school.

now i should mention that with everything above, i was queueing sanjis from my phone. i didn't have an automatic screenshot clipper on my college laptop so i didn't really have any other choice without going through like 5 extra steps. i went through 4 phones (my first one was a galaxy s8 that i'd had from 2018 all the way until ~2021 when it broke, followed by some notepad phone that just couldn't run games for shit so i immediately turned it back in and went back to an s8 that used to be my mom's which i had until right before i graduated college when the charging port stopped working properly and i finally upgraded to the s22 that i have now). up until about august of *last year* i was making every single post from my phone. after i moved for my summer job last summer i realized my new laptop allows me to clip my screenshots and started queuing things that way.

anyway while i was posting on my phone i did have one brief period for i think a week where my queue ran out and it was during finals for my last fall semester of college since i just had a lot happening. we had a few close calls if anyone remembers summer 2022 when i was going through some stuff irl with a death in the community but it turns out i use this blog to ground myself when i'm feeling bad sometimes lol. funny how that works

well since last summer when i realized it was easier to queue from my laptop i've been doing it like that ever since with only one exception which you might have seen my tags about lol. i had 2 weeks in august this year where i didnt have internet and my queue was running low so i bit the bullet and just added posts from my phone.

as for how i manage to find even the smallest of sanjis: i mostly just skim chapters and try to track his movements between panels. i keep an eye on who sanji is next to and what other landmarks might be there and when the panels zoom out i can normally find him if he's shown somewhere. which leads to those insanely small sanjis that are five pixels tall. it's definitely a skill you have to hone through practice and i'm sure i've missed a few sanjis even doing this but i'm definitely a lot closer to getting every single one. i do sometimes wonder if these gimmick blogs are known outside of the tumblr fandom and if word has made its way back to people involved in the series. this is mostly just a pipe dream and i know its not very realistic but a guy can dream right.

and if you've read this far, just a reminder you can make me post more sanjis a day by donating to any of the gfms in my pinned post! each donation extends the current queue by 2 weeks so you can make me really expedite the process of getting some of these sanjis out there. i'm getting close to being done with punk hazard and i'm so excited to get further

[jazzy-art-time]

I didn’t post about it on my mod blog because I didn’t want to dampen the spirits that everyone else was having but I’ll mention things.. briefly here before the year ends.

If you just follow me for art then you prolly wont know what I’m sayin!! Carry on soldier. I will post more art again soon, it’s just time for me to post a long text post that prolly 90% of the people here wont know wtf I’m on about!!

Putting under the cut to avoid long post/put that negative crap under wraps

This year was horrid for me. In many ways but.

The entire thing with the stalker/doxxer went.. a lot deeper than people realize it was. That’s due to me just not mentioning what happened directly but It wasn’t just hate and harassment and doxxing it was..

Abhorrent. I’ll spare the nitty gritty details, to be Frank idk what good it would do to mention it all.

But even so, I was not the best person this year due to this.

I became irrational and paranoid. I left places suddenly without a word (or was being told to and did so out of fear). I stopped talking to a lot of people and became more of a concept than a person to many. Got snappy and bitter a lot of the time as well. Just overall became afraid of everyone and didn’t trust anyone at all and it made me someone I didn’t want to be.

Regardless of the situation I was going through, I shouldn’t have acted in a lot of ways I did. I can play the “I was being abused so wehh it’s ok how I acted” card all I want but the reality is.. it wasn’t really cool of me. I’m a grown adult, I’ll own up to that.

And I know I caused a lot of people worry by my sudden disappearances or mood changes. I was too focused on trying to protect myself and those I cared about that I became a bit?? Of a prick. And honestly I feel like I caused more damaged trying to “protect” other people from the situation. Irony is a cruel mistress.

I let someone else get too much control over me and my actions and let them use my own mental illness against me and make me somewhat nasty.

But it wasn’t right of me, no matter the circumstance.

But it’s all over now! All over now… for now anyways. But I still have to look at the mess left in the wake of everything and try to reassemble what I can.

So, if you were someone who was effected by my irrational and erratic behavior.. I do apologize. Idk what real “good” me saying that does.. but I don’t want to just not say anything at all.

I’m not saying all this as a like NYEHEHE IVE APOLOGIZED AND NOW I EXPECT EVERYTHING TO RETURN TO NORMAL that’s not what’s happening trust me lol. This is just my own guilt welling up a bit and me chucking it out into the world for the time being

I’ve been drafting and deleting a post like this all week because I didn’t want to go into a new year just brushing everything aside. But kept wondering what good it would even do or who would even give a shit.

But. Here is this post! It exists, for now! Who knows I may wake up tomorrow and go WTF NO and delete outta paranoia. Idk!

All in all…

I’m going to spend 2024 trying to rebuild myself. I haven’t been.. myself in nearly 2 years due to everything (and IRL circumstances as well that I won’t get into).

I have a better support now. So that helps me and has been helping me get better again. Not just in recovery and help with legal things but like. Just emotionally keeping me in check lmao

So I hope in 2024, things will be better. If not for me, then for others at the very least.

I know this post was long and negative and repetitive, but if I spend too long revising it I’ll just delete it again.

Idk if anyone will actually read this but??? Shrugs. Oh well. If anything I’m being selfish and just posting this for my own personal “”closure”” if you will

Happy new years, see you all around.

[martyreasemymind]

for the WIP tag game: more on BS please

(because it reminded me of drafting sideways before it had a name and the doc was called BS which obv stood for billy/steve but nevertheless my brain autocorrected it on sight, given the usual acronym, until it came time to post and i realized i couldn't actually name my fic bullshit)

i won't go TOO into this one b/c it's very old and a mess (yes the bs stands for bullshit lol)

this was an original work about a family of shapeshifters trying to care for two of their children who escaped from government captivity/experimentation/military use.

Llena, the younger sister, is traumatized but generally able to function.

Jay, the older brother, yo-yo's between being fragile and being completed dissociated due to his experience with scientists/military forcing transformations and causing him to lose his identity and connection with reality.

the ki'd family had been dysfunctional and bordering on abusive before their abduction, and completely unraveled after. at the beginning of the story there has been a degree of recovery due to the remaining kids being removed and the parents receiving treatment.

the story is told primarily from the perspective of the eldest brother, Coda.

Excerpts:

-

He felt the anxiety in his gut twist into hate. Like a house fire. The kind you have to douse for hours to really get rid of. To kill.

Arlo stood behind him, watched him dig his forehead into the harsh bark. Wordless. 

It was a strange feeling to be seen like this. Flayed open. Like he’d been caught.

When he turned and settled on the ground she joined him. Looking at the stars, he felt her head rest on his shoulder.

-

“Is there any chance he won’t make it?”

“No. Not unless something catastrophic happens.”

Catastrophe is relative. It could be anything. Five years ago it was Pela breaking a plate.

“Get out of your own head. You’re not helping anyone.”

Nessar stood in the open threshold of the hospital room.

“You probably shouldn’t be hanging out here either.”

Nothing.

Her eyes narrowed.

“You know he can pick up on your stress”

He didn’t like this version of her. Doctor-Aunt. Emotionally detached but close enough to get under his skin.

“Thought you said he’d be fine.”

“Being fine and being not dead are two different things.”

He looked at her. Gave her his best pleading look as a final grab for sympathy.

“It’s not good for you to be here.”

Goddammit.

“Look,”

Her eyes went away from him.

“It’s been a week and he’s doing fine. The hardest part is over”

She shrugged.

“Physically”

Fuck you.

“And I know you wanna be here and look after him but it isn’t healthy for you. Mentally. You should get back to class and get your mind on something else. Or at least try to.”

He turned back to his unconscious brother.

“Have you spoken to either of your parents in the last week?”

He scoffed.

“What? To make me less stressed?”

Nessar’s fingers went to her temples.

“Fine. You all wanna be stubborn shits and refuse to talk to each other, fine. But just think about what you’re leaving him to wake up to.”

He scowled, but rose from his seat when she stepped out.

-

“Oh.”

Coda sat at the breakfast table. Didn’t look at his father standing in the doorway. Couldn’t.

“Is there something wrong?”

He felt the anger crackle inside of him, the familiar thump of blood in his ears that heralded an outburst.

Communicate. State your feelings.

“I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you.”

He could see his father’s shoulders lean back in shock from the corner of his eye.

“I’m still…”

His mouth twisted into a sour grimace. 

Try again.

“I’m still...angry”

His father looked on but Coda didn’t see him. It was easier to pretend he wasn’t there. To pretend he was alone in his room, screwing his eyes shut and whispering threats and promises into the empty space and truly believing that it would hold them forever. That it could.

I’ll kill you

I’ll kill you

I’ll kill you

I’ll kill you

“And I’m angry...that I’m still angry.”

Asil tilted his head. Eyes soft.

“Coda...If this is about me getting my feelings hurt-”

“It’s not. It’s… We need to be together for when-”

His teeth tug into his bottom lip.

“For when he wakes up.”

There was a silence, both considering.

“I understand, and I appreciate you taking that stance,”

He didn’t think he’d ever get used to it. To his father being calm and rational and compassionate. He still doesn’t.

“But I don’t want you to feel like any anger you have towards me needs to go away just because there’s a bigger issue at hand.”

Tears stung behind his eyes. He hated this, he hated falling apart in front of the person he was always supposed to be better than.

He felt his father make an abortive step forward. The desire, the duty, to stay stoic and quiet and grown ground against the protean need to be comforted. The fist against the open palm.

The chair scraped against the wood floor as he stood up and trudged outside. Don’t run. Not from him.

[vacantgodling]

🖋️,❤️, and😭 !! Don't have a specific wip in mind, so you get to decide !!

thank youuuuu 🥺💛 i can talk about the liminal space series for these lol :3

🖋️"what inspired you to write your WIPs?"

donut wip was inspired by my frustration at not being able to finish a story, and i thought if i just plotted out an easy, straight to the point, horror novel (cuz whoops donut wip is straight horror p much) that i’d be able to finish it. i wrote like 15 chapters in 2 weeks and then burned myself out when i started a new job in 2021 BUT as i was thinking about it, more and more could i see it fitting into the universe that already existed in jenna the reaper. but… there was no bridge from point a (college horror) to point b (high school supernatural horror literally across the country)

this is where the inspo for noi, alone came in. i’d had noi as a character in some form, for about as many years as i’ve had jenna but i never knew what to DO with them. but it seemed so perfect to make them the bridge between juls and jenna’s stories, even if they must also go through the horrors 😔 them having a demon entity thing in their eye was always a thing so that makes the transition even better (well, worse for them but better for plot)

and then jenna… tbh i never “had” inspiration for jenna. i was literally chilling at my ex’s house in hs when all of a sudden jenna just knocked on the door of my brain like “hey yeah i’m here now.” with all her plot already figured out LMAO. 💀💀 so in case you were wondering she’s always been like this. all i’ve really done is just tweak it and fit it better into the world with the other two wips, and add stuff on etc etc.

mason at the airport sort of came about from me wanting to take a slightly different direction with liminal spaces, like explore different kinds?? so mason’s story, while it’s in the universe it is Slightly different than the rest of them just cuz i wanted to try something new and LESS horrific lmao

❤️"what are your favorite scenes from your WIPs?"

donut wip (gasp that i’m actually willing to talk about Some spoilers lol):

the donut sharing scene is the most important scene To Me

the elevator flashback that talks about juls’s past & trauma around elevators

when juls and joaquin kiss (even tho the poly is alive and well in my head, this relationship is kind of the only one that gets enough time but it’s something i wanna change when i try to write draft 2)

also a particular scene involving news anchors that i don’t wanna spoil but i LOVE it

noi, alone:

tbh i haven’t plotted this one out that well but when noi meets seph is gonna be soooooo funny bc they’re lowkey attracted to him Immediately and lilly loves making fun of them about it. secondly, when the three of them break into the dorm i want it to be kind of messy

jenna the reaper / jenna the witch king:

the scene where noi reveals their demon

the scene with vega that is sad……. ough……

the scene where jenna tells carlos about frankenstein, i actually have that written out lol

the scene where jenna and yehna merge is gonna be OOF

mason at the airport:

i also don’t have much planned yet but i’m excited to write the beginning when mason realizes that there’s something Wrong with the airport and that he’s Alone (or is he)

😭"what are the biggest challenges writing your WIPs?"

honestly for all of these wips it’s just attention span. i enjoy all these stories but sitting down and writing them since 2021 and i burned myself out on donut wip has been a challenge. i’m hoping i can come back around to wanting to write them, but it’s probably gonna be a Long while (cuz i’m projecting in terms of original projects, i’ll write paramour then vampires don’t take road trips and then perhaps after i’ll come back to these)

[mermaidsirennikita]

so i finally read devil in winter, thank you so much for that btw, i had a GREAT time, finished it in one afternoon, bless you truly <3 now i understand evie and sebastian appear in other novels? could you tell me which ones to read bc i swear i loved those two and also any other novels i might like if i enjoyed that one? THANK YOU

Yessss I’m so glad enjoyed it!!!! I saved this as a draft and I'm not sure if you're going to see this if I don't make it public (I'm sorry!) so posting now. If you haven’t read the other Wallflowers books, Evie is in all the other ones as a supporting character. Sebastian is the villain of book 2, obvi, lol. He also cameos in book 4 where he’s kinda on thin ice with everyone but Evie is preggers so they’re stuck with him.

They have their own cute scenes in A Wallflower Christmas, where they have pregnant Christmas sex.

Otherwise, I think Sebastian cameos in Mine Till Midnight…. Then in the Ravenels he and Evie show up a lot because three of the books are about the offspring.

Devil in Spring—their son Gabriel is the hero, it’s real cute; the prologue is them role playing while Sebastian tries to break it to Evie that their oldest son totally compromised a girl lol

Devil’s Daughter—their eldest, Phoebe, is the heroine; it’s very popular and she’s a widowed single mom who falls for a former scoundrel, but tbh this one does nothing for me

Devil in Disguise—very controversial but super connected to their family, especially Sebastian. Not sure if you've been spoiled there, so I won't say more :)

For book that might hit similar places, I'd recommend...

When the Duke Was Wicked by Lorraine Heath. An all time favorite of mine, and I think it has a great rake hero (also, the heroine is a sweet redhead!) The basic setup of the book is that the hero and heroine were raised as family friends, their parents were tight, but he's nine years older. He had no idea, but she had this intense girlish infatuation with him and was crushed when he married young... and he was super devoted as a husband, but then his wife and young daughter died and he radically changed and became this super slutty rake. The impetus of the novel is that the heroine, Grace, asks the hero, Lovingdon, to help her find a good husband and he ends up corrupting her--which is maybe what she wanted, lol. He's so slutty, but he also adore Grace and can't fucking accept it because he's having such a hard time with accepting that he could love someone else... maybe even more than he loved his wife.

TW: past medical crises are discussed at length; lmk if you need more info.

You could also check out Surrender to the Devil by Lorraine Heath--another bad boy duke aristo hero and a lovely redheaded heroine, lol. This one is about the parents of the heroine of the book I just recommended. She grew up on the streets and is just this really sweet woman, he's this rakish caustic duke (who has a lot of inner pain, naturally). He decides to make her his mistress, but ends up falling head over heels.

TW: heroine was sexually assaulted as a child and is very traumatized; the hero is really gentle with her once he realizes she has sexual hangups. There's also a lot of discussion of the abuse of a side female character.

Any Duchess Will Do by Tessa Dare. This is another "we saw this hero be a slutty douche in a previous book, now he's back and falling in love". Tessa's books are funny and sexy but also emotional. The duke in this book was introduced in "A Week to be Wicked" (also a great book) as a tool, and he won't settle down, so his mom is like please choose a bride... and he's like you know what I'll choose this fucking barmaid. His mom takes him up on it and decides to My Fair Lady the barmaid, who he has no actual intention of marrying... until he falls for her lol.

How to Steal A Scoundrel's Heart by Vivienne Lorret. This one works really well, imo. The hero is a marquess who propositions the heroine to be his mistress, and at first she turns him down... but then she gives because she has nowhere else to turn. He's super cool with his love affairs, and gives her this contract that last four months, no more and no less. It's this super romantic, lovely romance and I so recommend it.

The Serpent Prince by Elizabeth Hoyt. A great "flashy rake x shy virgin" book. The heroine finds the hero left for dead on the side of the road, and she nurses him back to health.... And whoops, the rake falls hard! It's also fully insane, because Hoyt.

The Devil of Downtown by Joanna Shupe. A Gilded Age villainous rake/sweet virgin book. The hero is a rake and a gangster, and he ends up falling for the do gooder activist daughter of an influential man in town--and it's kind of a "who's corrupting who" thing.

[angieowlie]

Writing Progress #18 🪶

Sooo a couple weeks ago I finished writing Vol 1 draft 2!! 😆

AAAHH it was such a beautiful day. The night before whilst in the shower, I was struck with THE cutest way to end the book and gaaah I love it so much! 😆 I had a really good writing session that day as I finished the draft. A couple days before - as I was nearing the end - I got really emotional. I was crying a lot because I didn’t want it to end...I just felt so happy with this draft. Isn’t it weird how you want something to be over and done with, but once it’s happened you long for it to go on, instead of ending? T0T

Anyway, I had a celebratory quesadilla from Chipotle 😂 (Not dim sum this time, lol.)

Right now I’m taking a writing break~ I actually wrote a list of stuff I wanted to do during this time (including, but not limited to, rewatching Banana Fish 😂💔)

I haven’t done much writing since, just a drabble here and there. Strangely enough, I had thought this break would be a fun and relaxing time to rejuvenate and refill the creative well. But I’ve actually been stressed as HELL 😂🙂 Work has been super busy, there’s some family and friends stuff going on, the weather is HOT as shiz, and I realize now that perhaps my daily routine of writing in the morning before everything else has been what’s keeping me anchored all this time. Huh 🤔 Perhaps next time, for the next writing break, I should still do some light writing in the morning, something unrelated to the series, but make myself sit down and write nonetheless.

Anyway - I’ve done some fun things that weren’t on my list, too!

We went to watch Elemental, and lemme tell you, I cried so much, my eyes were so dry up till the next day. It was so good, my god 😭 The crap marketing did not do it justice at all!! I also couldn’t stop staring at Ember’s nose the whole time because it kept flickering because she’s made of fire 😂

(Side note: that attack on AO3 had scared the HELL outta me. But I’m glad things are okay now!! We will not be brought down so easily!!)

I’ve also been making space to prioritize reading. It’s been good. I’ve been finding a lot of titles I’ve never heard of before, sampling on Amazon first before borrowing from the lib. Something I’ve started doing is going to the lib on Saturday morning and just sitting there reading for like an hour or so. I find that blocking off a chunk of time and just, like, read uninterrupted REALLY helps to get yourself immersed into the story. So yeah, haha. I think that ’bout sums up what I’ve been up too.

Oh! One last thing. Today’s actually the 2nd anniversary of the day I started to seriously write this series 😸 (At this point I have so many anniversaries to celebrate each year, but whatever 😂 Romanticize your milestones, yo!)

[cnroth]

Tag Game

Thanks @elephant-in-the-pride-parade for tagging me, dahhhhling!

Share the first lines of the last 10 stories you wrote and then make an analysis I guess?

For the purposes of this challenge, I am eliminating the mini-fics that were intended to tease my Mirrorverse part 3 multi chapter and am only listing separate works not connected to one another. Why? Cuz that’s what I wanna do and, like Ron Swanson, I can do what I want.

1. She didn’t realize it until they were stuck on that planet—how much she had come to lean on Chakotay. —Emotion (VOY, J/C)

2. “I guess I’m just not good enough for you!” Tom yelled, voice so loud it echoed in his quarters. —Renegade (VOY, P/K)

3. “I never want to see you again.” —Escapism (VOY, Tom Paris)

4. If the landscape of B’Elanna’s mind was real, there’d be bite marks on her captain’s cheek. —Temptation (VOY, J/T)

5. Beverly crept along an underground passageway, her back to the stone wall and her disruptor aimed at the floor. —Little Girl Gone (PIC/VOY/TNG/Mirror, R7)

6. They line us up like this every day. —The End of Love (VOY, Seska)

5. I see it like a midnight dream, hazy and haloed in moonlight. —carnations you had thought were roses (PIC, R7)

4. As a child, I used to tell myself stories. —Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve (VOY, J/Owen Paris)

3. Terminal. —The Children (VOY AU, no ships)

2. If Tom had to rate anything as the best experience in the universe, it would definitely be sex. —Sweet Nothing (VOY, P/K)

1. “The time is 0600.” —Looking For Eden (VOY AU, K/OC, other various ships)

Analysis: I think I’m meant to analyze patterns in my first lines, but I see no patterns here, so my analysis is that I use song titles/lyrics for fic names. And about half of them are Taylor Swift lol.

Tagging: Y’all this has been sitting in my drafts for like a week cuz I don’t know who has and hasn’t already been tagged and I don’t wanna bug people so if you haven’t played yet, tag you’re it

[noonaishere]

So I was sitting here, thinking to myself, wondering how long I’ve been working on this fic [also: I was thinking about this LAST week, I just forgot to type up this post. I feel like that’s just… this whole thing in a nutshell] and I decided to go through my phone to find screencaps and go through my gdocs to find the earliest document that’s associated with this coming fic...

And… I had forgotten that - originally - I was planning on doing a Choose Your Own Adventure-style Otome fic. It’d have each member of Ateez be one of the personality types you see in Otome games, and you’d read through it and click links and choose who you’d end up with in the end. I read a really great CYOA story on Twine a long time ago and I’ve been wanting to do one since then, though I haven’t had an idea that I felt was befitting it.

So I looked up the main Otome personality types and tried to fit each Ateez member to each type and then sort of ran out of ideas/was too busy with work, and so I just put it in a folder marked “fics” which has all fic ideas that I’m kicking around (some come to fruition, some don’t). The document is called “Otome Character Archetypes” and the date on that document is Jun 5, 2021.

Anyway, I recall kind of thinking about the idea for a while after that and then forgetting about it. My Jaehyun fic was still updating, and while I wanted to start a new fic so I had something for when that one was done, I think I might have been also working on some original stuff as well.

At some point I scrapped the Otome idea since I didn’t feel like I grasped the personality types enough to be able to write it well, and created a new doc called  “Ateez smau idea.” It’s creation date is November 7, 2021. (I don’t really use this anymore - the last time I opened it was February of last year lol - because I made a better, more organized “book bible” kind of thing at some point.)

Then I got this comment that sort of blew my mind.

And I was like… YO, what IF there were two couples trying to get each other together, our favorite (or at least my favorite) fic chaos but doubled? 

…

What if it was two fics?

So I started writing notes like, immediately-- AND I DELETED THE ORIGINAL DOCUMENT LIKE A FOOL. I KNOW I made posts about it in April and May, but I guess I copy/pasted the text out of the first documents and deleted the remains as I got everything together and made it make sense? Which - I now realize - I need to STOP. DOING. Since I don’t fucking journal about what I’m doing at all, I need to keep the docs themselves to know when I did things 😫😫😫😫😫

I don’t have the original version of the one side of the fic (it’s two fics. I’ll explain when it’s ready to come out. I don’t know why I do these things), but a file called “Notes from first draft” has March 8, 2022 on it. So I had to have written the first draft of it before then; somewhere in between January 19th and March 8th, because those are the dates of luvvvx’s comment and the day I apparently had enough of a first draft to read it and make notes about additions. The first drafts (of each side of the fic) had to have been very bare bones though, because the doc has a lot of smaller points in it that are intrinsic to the plot and that I know I decided on early on in the writing process.

So I started somewhere between: January 19th and March 8th, 2022. 

…And now it’s over a year later since I started the missing doc of the first draft, and I missed BOTH anniversaries of starting the fic (the comment and the first doc).

When I first was like, “When did I start this?” I thought maybe I could make a little post about it and be like, “Congratulations to STILL NOT BEING DONE” and it would be a lark and kind of funny since I’ve been working on this for so long, but I MISSED BOTH OF THEM. I had two and I missed them.

So yeah, idk what this is. 

Happy missed anniversaries I guess 🎉

[underluci]

seven deadly kinks | lesson 2

♦ food play // beelzebub x fem!reader

♦ tags/warnings: it turned out to be more like highly suggestive lol [but still MDNI], some kissing and licking in there, tension, may or may not make a continuation of this bc then again I can’t control myself, spoilers for lesson 21 if you haven’t reached that yet

♦ wc: 1.1K [now cross-posted on AO3]

♦ a/n: this literally took me too long to write bc the initial draft was like 1K+ words and was somehow not okay with it so I scrapped it and then did this one and it turned to also exceed 1K+ T-T but then again I don’t have a control of myself lol anyways this was basically how I can imagine at least a smexy splice during that cream puff scene somewhere in lesson 21 lol so *sips tea* kinda struggled finishing this since I just finished finals week but yeah *smirks*

His parched lips and warm tongue agonizingly drags through the thick coat of whipped cream across your sensitive neck. 

“B-Beel—” you hitch a moan as he licks every nook and cranny of your neck immaculately clean while his large hands keep grip of your wrists that inevitably keeps you planted on your back on the kitchen table.

There’s an edge with the way he’s licking every searing corner of your skin, warm tongue desperately nipping away every cream-laden flesh with tenacity and carded in every sensitive spot that your neck has to offer for what feels like the latter part of a millenia. For once, his heavy breathing is not induced by strenuous workout, but rather the tightness in his pants are too hard and painful to ignore.

Too much to ignore that it starts erratically brushing off of your clothed crotch. And as much as he wants to breathe, the last thing that he wants to do is to scare you to oblivion by unzipping out the inevitable hardness in his pants.

He’s better than that.

It’s one thing to wear a sundress while in the midst of the cool breeze and eternal darkness of the Devildom, but it’s another when you’re not wearing anything but your vulnerable undergarments beneath in your situation. Not when the both of you as well as the majority of the kitchen are coated in viscous layers of what was once Belphie’s cream puff, and certainly not when the skirt of your dress has long been shuffled and lifted by Beel’s ministrations.

And certainly not when even the throbbing inner corners of your thighs are dripping with sweet, sticky cream.

“You—lick—taste really—lick—good, Y/N,” Beel groans in a slurry of moans and grunts, each one louder than the last as his voracious tongue thrashes each whipped cream left on the sensitive spot behind your ear, leaving no stone unturned and leaving you gasping for air.

Saying that you taste good is an understatement, because you have no idea just how delectable you taste. The sweetness of the cream and the mild saltiness of your sweat makes more than just a perfect blend in Beel’s taste buds.

The muscles in your thighs clench, all spread out while your calves reflexively tighten their grip on his hips, further jutting and pressing his hardness on the growing pool staining in your panties. Your eyes widen at the undeniable feel of it, growing concerned every second just fully realizing the effect the syrup has induced as your hands claw at the warmth of his jacket sleeves.

Maybe I should have heeded Satan’s words, you thought in the back of your mind as his words play and spiral again as if it was a broken record on loop.

“Listen to me, Y/N. You need to make sure none of my brothers find you...”

Of course you don’t miss the spasmic gulp in his throat as he cleans away with his tongue. He’s too close, in your opinion, if his Adam’s Apple bobbing and prodding on your neck while licking away and the ragged breathing coming out of him and tickling your skin was any indication.

“Please, please.”

There’s something in the way you pleaded to him that makes the seemingly bottomless pit of his stomach churn into a blazing inferno fueled by the syrup, but there’s also a part of him that’s telling him to stop before he further gives into the potent aphrodisiac, judging by just how red and shaky you look in front of him.

“Because there’s no telling how they’re dealing with the effects of the syrup...” the last of Satan’s words ring against your brain, numbing you with the way it constantly echoes in your head.

“L-Let me help you down there.”

He gives one last loud slurp before stopping in his tracks, trying to sink your words in only for your lips to effectively lock him in a deep kiss lickety split.

His mind goes haywire, momentarily ceasing the lock of his hands on your wrists and enabling you to use them to prop your body up from the table and further kiss Beel torridly. His hands and deft fingers are already way past the hem of your skirt, flinching a bit when his clammy thumbs touch on sticky cream.

“Y/N—mmph—you still have whipped cream on you,” his breath is all ragged, each breath becoming shorter than the last as he abruptly unclasps his lips away from yours, only for your lips to swiftly nibble against the parched texture of his own. Once you are able to latch your tongue against his, all you can taste is him—the sweetness of the cream, the savory taste of dinner earlier, and just the natural taste of his mouth, all colliding into one that only leaves you more insatiable.

Once you’re both out of hot air, your arms fall limp to the broad expanse of his sturdy shoulders, both taking gulps of air as both your eyes pierce each other. His hands never let go of the stickiness of your thighs, only gripping harder as his thick, clunky fingers dig deeper into the flesh.

Your eyes trail down to the cream sitting on your thighs, now all sloppy from the heat in your body. To your curiosity, you proceed to spread your legs wider, face anxiously dipping down as if to gesture at him to look, only to see a faint mark of Beel’s hand imprinted in sloppy, runny cream. Only then can you feel just how plain sticky and sickly sweet you are right now.

“Y/N”

There’s a pregnant pause, air thick with insurmountable tension. Your name falls out of his mouth like a final verdict, matched with ragged breathing more worse than the last time. Only then when your eyes landed on the strain on his pants did you realize just how bad Beel needs help down there.

“Y-You make it really hard to stop, Y/N. I can’t get enough of it.”

In no time, he dives down, kneeling to make sure he’s eye level with your quivering cream-stained thighs. He eyes you for quite a while as if he’s asking for your permission, and you really got to hand it to him for still prioritizing your consent despite being afflicted by the aphrodisiac.

Not to mention his appetite.

It’s hard to breathe, you feel, but the way he warmly massages the caps of your knees with his big hands as a way to give you a sense of reassurance only made you want him more. An unbridled sense of joy bubbles up in your veins as you carefully bent down and planted a kiss on his already scorching forehead, but not without spreading your legs further to perfectly give him a glimpse of the wetness already soaking your underwear.

And safe to say, that was more than enough to give him the go signal.

♦ back to the seven deadly kinks navigation ♦

[faolanmoon]

HC of Sunny from Omori with a S/O who cares about him so much! Like she will ask him stuff like “Have you eaten yet today?” Or “How much water have you drank?” And if he is feeling down she will hold him close and tell joke everything is going to be ok! (I just need fluff with my boy Sunny lol)

~Sunny with a caring S/O~

This probably isn’t going to be a long one since I’ve had a really busy week and haven’t been feeling good today plus I have five freaking drafts, four once this one is published.

Bruh Sunny would actually appreciate that you care about him. He’s probably not that good at showing it.

He’d probably just awkwardly sit there poker facing as he mentally blue screens the first time you ask if he’s eaten anything or how much water he’s drank. The most he’d probably say is a quite ,”uhhh” the first time you ask as well not actually knowing. Then you fix him something to eat or drink and he finally answers,” uh not that much,”as he can’t help but be reminded of Hero, especially when you feed him. Poor Sunny might end up being reminded of Mari also, with how close they were as brother and sister that he might start slowly eating or drinking whatever you’ve given him, not because he doesn’t want to make himself sick or choke but because he’s sad again. Depending on how much he’s reminded of Mari poor baby might stop eating or drinking whatever you’ve fixed for him only to lay his head down on the table and cover his face with his arms as he gently weeps .

Sunny probably wouldn’t notice you holding him close or rubbing his back once you realized he was weeping, all that’s on his mind right now is Mari, the sister he loved dearly and yet he “killed” her. Even if you don’t know much about her, since there’s no way talking about someone he accidentally killed would be easy for him, it’d probably take more telling him a lighthearted joke to cheer him up, Sunny become a shut in after her death after all. All that’s on his mind is the final practice for their duet they’d never have, him getting frustrated at Mari for trying to make everything “prefect” then him angrily throwing his violin, breaking it in the process and finally shoving her down the stairs. Then there’d be the fact Basil, his former best friend was able to convince him to frame her death as a suicide , and how everything in his life spiraled downwards and the pain he felt after that as he weeps louder. I don’t think a joke can cheer him up when he’s reminded about Mari, it’d probably take a lot of holding him, repeating,”it’s ok,” over and over , maybe a bunch of affection as his cries grow louder. It would definitely take a lot to calm him down when he grieves for Mari but he’ll definitely hug you tightly and burry his face into your chest once he realizes your there as he cries.

Not sure if telling a joke can cheer him up when he’s sad, especially if it’s about Mari, he doesn’t seem like the type to burst out into laughter. Most he’d do is exhale through the nose like he found a good meme. He seems like the type to have dry humor tbh, like when he jokes he sounds dead inside especially when if he’s being sarcastic. Like no joke I can see him telling jokes in a monotone voice with deadpan delivery.But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like your jokes, he just has a different way of reacting to it.

After awhile of getting used you, he’s definitely going to become a lot heavier and more difficult to easily lift of the ground, because he’s eating more. Ya boi skin is actually going to look a lot more healthy, he’d have a dry mouth and chapped lips a lot less since ya boi is getting him water.

Sunny straight up would appreciate you showing him you care and are willing help him feel better. Like boy is touch starved as HELL. He’d probably just let you suffocate him in love and affection, he’d be down with that. But if he’s giving you affection, you’re not going to be able to move an inch, don’t try it.

[stinastar]

MI6 Cafe Creators Tag Game

What work of yours challenged you when you were creating it? Well, I’m new to the fandom & only have one thing I’ve finished and posted in the fandom so far, lol. The first was pretty easy. So, I guess the 5+1 that I’m currently working on. The first four sections of the first draft came pretty easily, but I’ve been stumbling a bit on the fifth.

What is a fanwork you’ve seen which gave you a new headcanon about a character? Hmm... OH. I read a fic where Q loses a bet to Eve and has his nails painted gold, and was a bit obsessed with that visual. I don’t know if it’s exactly a hc, but I think he deserves gold painted fingernails and it would be utterly distracting and tantalizing. I encourage everyone to give him painted nails, as a treat :p

Is there a fanwork that you really want to make, but you haven’t started yet? So the 5+1 is something like 5 times Q unintentionally hurt James by reminding him of Vesper, and one time it was a comfort, but it ended up being from Q’s POV. So, because I’m a little angst gremlin, even though I haven’t finished writing it, I’m already thinking about writing a companion piece that’s from Bond’s POV for 300% more angst lol.

What fanwork of yours surprised you, and how? The first 4 parts of the 5+1 did in how easily they flowed onto the page, and I’m really happy with Q’s voice in it.

What themes/styles/subjects are common across many of your fanworks? Alternatively, what themes/styles/subjects are you most interested in creating? I think if you go all the way back through my fanworks the results are a bit skewed, because I did a lot of prompt writing. But I guess I tend to write pining, getting together, fluff, h/c & angst. I always have happy endings and I do not accept MCD lol. I throw MCD in the trashbin. The things that are born from my brain rather than prompts tend to always centre around angst / h/c. I am generally starving for angst, I really love a good angsty fic with a heap of comfort. I thought you were dying and confessed my love kinda flavour. I thought I lost you/almost lost you and will now never let you go 👌🏻👌🏻

What other fandoms do you create for, if any? I started in Good Omens and still write for it occasionally, I was most prolific in The Witcher and still have a ton of WIP for it that I may or may not ever finish, and I wrote one for Our Flag Means Death, which I have notes for a follow up for, again, if I ever actually write it... I have notes for a LOTR fic that will probably never see the light of day 😅 I also have some original projects, current WIP is MLM with a vampire. I also write poetry.

Is there an artist that you like to listen to while you create? Or one whose work always inspires you? No, I need music without lyrics when I write, or I get too distracted. ADHD, baby! I usually listen to lo-fi music while writing, occasionally something like “peaceful piano.”

Share a fanwork that you’ve found yourself thinking about weeks after reading/seeing it. Ok, again, I’m suuuuper new to the fandom. I read my first 00Q fic maybe a couple weeks ago. Mlle_Heloise’s general universe lives rent-free in my head. I adore their OC Stella. I read most of their fics in a bit of a fugue state, and literally read them back to back over the course of a couple days, so they’re a bit mushed together in my head. So I’ll just go ahead and say all of their works, lol. Then living on the faultline by @thestalwartheart was one of the tastiest angsty fics I’ve read in quite a while!

Finally, share where you post your works! I post all of my fics to both @stinawrites here and on AO3 under stinastar.

Tagging @aprettyspy @boffin1710 @slimysuckers I realize y’all might have done this ages back, but I’m new here, so... apologies, haha.

@spiritofcamelot @mi6-cafe

[cinnamonest]

Inbox Reopening! (Important details below)

So with that last one, I am FINALLY done with those profiles and can move on to other things (and thereby more frequent posts again). I was hoping to be able to do them all in one month time but failed that, but at least they're done now. Irl life has been insane for me recently but thankfully it's dying down, and I'll have some free time for about two weeks until it ramps up again. I've queued/drafted the remaining asks from last time so those can roll out too.

I've updated the masterlist, and more importantly, since the rules page was super outdated, I'm scrapping it and made a carrd (I made it in like 5 minutes so it's very simple right now, I'll make it prettier later lol). This was easier bc I could have multiple pages and thus address some common questions I get here a lot. I get a lot of asks on how to block tags, so I made a place for that, and a transparency note to avoid discourse in the future. It'll also be in the pinned post from now on, but I'll provide you the link here as well.

Finally, I have a few longer things to work on, but I'd like to go back to posting smaller posts throughout the day while I work on those, so for about 24-48 hours I'm opening the askbox again!

Then I'll take those and get smaller posts out while working on bigger stuff. Basically same as last time, just general smaller reqs are fine, also feedback on/asks about things I've written especially since last time is much appreciated. However, note that I updated rules and tags (available on the carrd and on this post below). Also if you don't see something you asked answered by tomorrow feel free to ask again, sorry I know I can be bad about missing things.

I realize I've been a bit inconsistent on tags and whatnot since the tag ban for apple devices, I'm still not sure how that works and all so I'm changing the tags for good. I know I've been a bit inconsistent since I kept forgetting, sorry about that, I should be good now. Tags are on the carrd.

Furthermore, I've made some rule adjustments. For now I wanted to make some important notes on changes and additions to the rules of things I won't write, and just some important changes/notes. I've realized I'm uncomfortable with or just don't feel I can write some things well, hence adding some. Some of it is sensitive, sorry for not tagging this one, but it’s important to not tag it because the people who need future content tagged need to see this in order to do so.

I said this once in the masterlist and forgot to put it into practice, sorry about that, but from now on I'm separating normal incest and momcon, because there's a lot of momcon and some people wanted to just sort by the more sibling-oriented stuff. So the tag "#in.tg" will be all other incest, "#.momcon" is mom-son stuff specifically. This means that mother-son content will not have the normal incest tag and you need to block both tags if you don't want to see any incest!

I didn't have this on the rules before, but suicide content. This rule may change with time, but that is my ruling for right now. I thought I would be okay with it by now, but I tried to fill some reqs related to this and found I'm not capable of it yet as it just brings up some old things. Sorry to change rules so late into this.

Another thing I'm adding to "will not write" is basically content focusing on reader being a virgin. Mentions or aspects are fine, just not if that's like the whole and only focus of the post/ask. Basically this is just because 1) I can't really relate to that very well/don't remember what that mentality is like so I feel like I'd write it badly, and 2) I want to avoid attracting kids to this blog, and that sort of thing is popular with young teens.

Also just fyi I haven't gotten to play the game in a little while, so I don't know anything about any of the new content other than logging in for like 5 minutes for commissions and leylines 😅 I'll probably get to that soon.

[jean-kayak]

Falling Back Into Your Bed

Summary: One night was enough to have you crawling back to him

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x black!fem!reader

Warnings: college!au, (smut 18+!!), fingering, oral sex, unprotected sex, degradation, Eren's a little shit, little bit of ass smacking, mentions of sex under the influence (consensual), enemies to lovers sort of?

Word Count: 3120

A/N: This is has been in the drafts for a while, and it wasn't supposed to take the turn it was supposed to but I'm happy with it lmaoo. Completely unrelated, but I like making headers lol

It happened one time. To say you weren't really in the straightest mindset, but it happened once and now you're hooked. Your brain only filled with those images from that night. You groan as you pull at your hair, no matter how hard you try, you can't focus on studying. Your brain completely occupied.

"You seem troubled? Need some help?" The snarky comment comes from your right, and you scoff as you rub your forehead.

"Shut the fuck up," you spit with a little more aggression than you intended as you try to focus on anything but that amazing night.

"You thinking about that night? It could always happen again." The words whispered against your skin makes the images flash fully in your head, and you push him away from you, which only gets a chuckle in return.

"Fuck off, Jaeger," you groan as you close your textbook.

"You alright?" Sasha asks you, and you sigh as you nod.

"Yeah, it's just been a long day. I think I'm gonna head back to my dorm." You end your study session with your friends, stuffing your books in your bag, giving them a wave of goodbye as you walk out of the library, sighing in content when the sun rays hit your skin.

You slept with Eren. The only person who can get on your nerves to the nth degree. You woke up in horror realizing what you did, but the horror was that you liked it. It was amazing, the best sex you've ever had. Of course, it has to come from the person you despise the most.

It was a party that Jean wanted you to go to, and he happened to be there, annoying you to no end as he usually is, and then he was kissing you, and then you're walking up to his room and the rest is history. The memories of that night flood your head again.

The way his hands felt hot against your skin, branding a path all over your body. The way his lips brushed all over your skin, stopping to show some parts of your body some love by sucking dark marks onto the skin that took you forever to cover up.

The way his d--

Wait, stop! What am I doing?

You shake your head as you take another deep breath. This is not how you thought your week was going to go.

"I don't know if you have mind-blowing sex what's the big deal? I'm failing to see the problem," Hitch says, and you roll your eyes as you fall back on your bed.

"The problem is that I don't like him. He gets on my last nerve. Why can't I have amazing sex with a guy that I don't wanna stab on a daily basis?" you argue, and Hitch scoffs as she rolls her eyes.

"Well, maybe it's the fact that you don't like each other that's making the sex great."

"I just wanna stop thinking about it," you admit.

"Well, it doesn't seem to be bothering him as much as it is you," she responds, and that part is what makes you the most irritated and confused.

You were sure you weren't that bad,  but it's like he isn't even fazed by it, only teasing you about it in the best way possible. You groan as you roll over, burying your face in your pillow.

The only reason why you're forced to interact with him is that you're friends with Armin who's best friends with Eren. If that wasn't the case, you probably would never see him again, let alone be in the same room as him where he can annoy you.

"Whatever. Maybe I just need to get laid again, get him off my mind," you mumble into the pillow, and you know Hitch is giving you a look without even turning your head.

"Yeah, okay. Whatever you say," she muses. "Speaking of getting laid, there's another party tonight if you want to go."

You turn your head to the side to face her. "Weren't you just a party last weekend?" you comment, and she shrugs.

"You only live once." You raise your eyebrows at her answer but shrug anyway.

"If I don't have anything to do, then I'll go."

~

You should've stayed the fuck home because this party is not it. You don't know if it's because you really don't want to be here or the fact that you're sober, but you can't help but sigh in annoyance as you walk through the crowd until you find a corner where anyone isn't making out.

You nurse your drink, but the taste of the beer is slowly making you sick after two sips, so you just hold it to give you something to do. "You look like you're having fun."

You roll your eyes at the familiar voice, tilting your head to the side as you look at him. "I should've known you'd be here." You knew that you should've listened to that weird feeling in the back of your head the moment you stepped into the room. "I'm not really feeling it," you say, and he steps closer to you.

"Well, we could always go somewhere else, and I can make you scream while I split you open on my dick again." You clench your jaw as you find something else to look at, trying and failing to ignore the way his words make your body hot all over.

You scoff. "Yeah, in your dreams."

"Really? You don't miss this?" he asks, pulling you into him, and you can't help when your mouth falls open slightly your breath hitching. "Cause I sure miss the way your tight pussy clamped around me."

Your thighs squeeze together subconsciously as you let out a small moan, luckily it's muffled by the music, but he doesn't miss your reaction. "Yeah, I'll pass," you muster, and he smirks as he chuckles.

"Fine, have it your way. The offer still stands," he says before he walks away, and you sigh heavily as you drink from your cup. You have to get out of here.

Eren can't take his eyes off of you as you walk around the room. You've filled your cup back up, but you haven't drank from it, the only thing on your face is that you want to get out of here. Even as you talk to some blond guy, Reiner he thinks his name is, your face is very evident in showing that you're tired of this conversation, but you're too nice to leave.

He walked over to talk to you just to tease you but ended up doing the same thing to himself. He finds it funny that you seem to deny what happened between you two even though you reacted the way you did. If he could take you in front of all these people, he would.

Well, he can, but he's better than that.

He doesn't tell you this, he doesn't think he will, but you're the only thing that's been on his mind, but he's just better at hiding it. He can't count how many times he's thought about your body, the noises you made, how fucked out you looked as you took his dick. Every time he touches himself, those are the only things he thinks about.

And every single time he finishes, he declares that he's going to get you back into his bed.

Which is why he decided to come to this party even though he didn't want to. He knew Hitch would drag you out here, and he knew that there was no way he was letting you go.

He almost feels bad for the guy. Even though he can't hear the conversation, he knows Reiner is trying and failing to woo you with his awful flirting tactics. He can recognize your fake laugh from a mile away.

He decides that he can't stand to watch this horror show any longer, and he moves over to where you are, rolling his eyes at a lame pick-up line he hears come from him. "Hey, I need to talk to you," he buds in, and you give him a look.

"I'm in the middle of a conversation." You state the obvious, and he gives you a lazy look.

"Yeah, not really," he responds, and you squint at him. "Come on, it'll take a second."

You sigh, giving in before turning to the buff guy next to you. "I'll be right back," you tell him, and only Eren knows that that's not true.

He eyes Eren before giving you a smile and a nod, and you follow Eren as you walk the too familiar walk to his room. He closes the door behind him when you walk in, and you cross your arms. "What was so important that you had to pull me from my conversation?" you question, annoyed, and he smiles at you.

"Yeah, it totally looked like you were enjoying that little chat." You roll your eyes as he takes your cup out of your hand, setting it on his dresser. "How much have you had?"

You frown at him. "To drink? Not enough because it's difficult to have a conversation with you sober."

He chuckles lightly as he walks closer to you until your knees hit the bed. "Can I say something?" he asks, and you try to act like his close proximity isn't bothering you.

"If it'll make this end sooner."

"All I've thought about is that night," he tells you, and he moves closer, making you fall down onto the bed as you look up at him with wide eyes. He hovers over you, one hand on the mattress next to you, the other trailing down your body, making goosebumps break out over your skin.

"How good you felt, how loud you were, how fucking soaked you were." His lips brush against yours as he runs a hand down your tube top, biting your lip when he rolls his finger over your nipple.

"What does this have to do with me being sober?" you ask breathlessly, and he smirks as his hand moves down to your shorts, and he doesn't miss the way your thighs tense like you don't know whether to close them or not.

"Because I want to see if I can make you scream just as loud." He crashes his lips down on yours, making you squeak in surprise before you finally let him in, moaning when his tongue rubs over the roof of your mouth.

You thought your thoughts about Eren would change if you were sober, but he's just as addicting as he was that night, and you find it difficult to object to anything he's doing.

He crawls with you as you move up further on the bed, your body flushing hot all over. He works your shirt off, throwing it somewhere off to the side before trailing hot, wet kisses down your neck before moving to your chest.

Your hand makes its way into his hair, messing up the bun that it was in as he mouths at your nipples, pulling the taut bud with his teeth and his fingers before switching. "Did I ever tell you that you have nice tits?" he tells you with a playful smile on his face as he fondles them, and you scoff at his childish comment as you shift on the bed, the rough abrasion of your shorts against your crotch becoming extremely uncomfortable.

He works his shirt off as he slides down your body, his lips just grazing your skin to be teasing, and he unbuttons your shorts, peeling them off your legs, letting out a huff when his eyes land on your panties.

"You're so fucking wet," he mumbles, and you hiss at the cool air hitting your sensitive core when he pulls the fabric down and off your legs. You start to say something when he doesn't move, but you let out a low moan in surprise when he licks a broad stripe up your folds.

Your back arches off the bed at the sudden stimulation, and he lays an arm over your hips to keep you still, his other hand digging into the flesh of your thighs as he keeps you spread open. "And you taste so fucking good," he groans as he moves from licking between your folds to flicking at your clit.

"Fuck, Eren," you whine, pulling at the roots when his tongue prods at your hole.

"Come on, baby, I know you can be louder than that," he challenges, pushing one of your legs over to give him more room. His tongue prods at your hole before he replaces it with his fingers, his mouth going back to focus on your clit.

He's already curling two fingers inside of you as he sucks on the bundles of nerves, pulling it into his mouth, before circling his tongue around the bud. What you definitely didn't forget was how amazing his head game was. Your toes curl as the grip on his hair tightens, and it takes a few more pumps on his fingers hitting that sensitive spot inside of you to make you cum, moaning loudly as your orgasm hits.

"There we go. That's better," Eren says before moving his tongue to your hole to lap up your release. You're panting as he moves back up towards your face, his covered in your release. "But I still think you can be louder."

"You sound like you're all talk," you challenge even though you're still breathless.

He chuckles darkly before getting rid of the rest of his clothes, putting himself right back over you. "Sounds like you're undermining my skills," he jabs back as he lines himself up.

"Sounds like you're overestimating yourself," you counter, but you trail off before you can finish the last word as he pushes himself in, and you both moan at the feeling.

"Shit, I'll never get over how amazing you feel," he breathes once he bottoms out, and you're urging him to move, which he quickly obliges, your mouth falling open at the feeling of being stretched out with every stroke.

He moves himself so that he's on his knees, your hips angled upwards as he thrusts into you way too slowly for your liking. "Come on, Eren," you whine, knowing he can make you feel way better than he is right now. "Fuck me harder," you plead, and he coos at you.

"Aww, but I'm trying to make love to you, princess," he drawls, and you groan in frustration as you try to move, but he holds you down, making sure he's the only one moving.

"I don't want you to make love to me," you whine, desperate to have him fuck you until you see stars.

"But I like seeing you beg for me, seeing you so desperate, it's cute, keep going," he says, and you roll your eyes.

"Fuck--" He cuts you off with a sharp thrust, nailing your g-spot with ease.

"Me? Well, you're already doing that, sweetheart." You scrunch your nose at the stupid pet name, and you scoff before you smirk at him.

"As I said, you're all talk," you taunt. "Pretty sure Reiner could make me scream louder than you ever could." The playful demeanor in his face drops and his eyes are going dark, and suddenly he's pulling out of you, and rolling you onto your stomach.

He pulls you up to your knees, and he slams into you, making you cry out at the sudden intrusion as your eyes roll back. "You think you're funny, huh?" he spits before pulling you to his chest by your shoulder. "You wanted to get a rise out of me so that I could fuck you like a filthy whore."

You can barely respond, your body feeling like it's being shocked every time he rams that spot, and you jolt when he pushes on your clit. "Already going stupid? I haven't even done anything yet."

He pushes you back down, pushing your back until your chest is flush against his bed. "You're such a needy slut, aren't you?" A smack to your ass, the sting snapping you out of your daze. "Answer me."

"Fuck yes!" You can barely get it out, your knuckles starting to hurt from how hard you're gripping the sheets.

"Who's fucking you this good?" You don't answer quick enough, it's not like you can, but that only makes him fuck you harder. "Who?!"

"You! God, Eren, you," you moan, and you release your grip on the sheets as you feel yourself starting to drool.

"Who owns this fucking cunt? Fuck." His head falls back on his shoulders as you clamp around him, and he pushes on your clit again when you don't respond.

"You, oh fuck, 's all yours." You buck your hips back, meeting his, and he smacks your ass again.

"Come on, baby, you can say my name." He sounds just as wrecked as you, and his name is the only thing you're coherent enough to say, and you know that you're loud and that anyone walking past the door or on the other side of the walls can hear you.

"Shit, your pussy is so," he cuts himself off with a groan, his body curling as he feels his high building up as you suck him back in.

"Eren, I'm--" You try to tell him that you're close, so close, but you can't, tears running down your face from the constant stimulation on that spot inside of you.

He responds with a groan, and you know he's close too, and the next thing you know, you're cumming hard, your body going rigid. Your orgasm triggers his, and he cums with a moan of your name, his climax hitting him so hard, he falls on top of you.

Both of you fall down on the bed, his ragged breathing fanning against your neck, and he rolls the both of you over before rubbing up and down your top half softly. "You okay?" he asks against your neck, and you can feel the smirk on your skin.

You respond with a content whine, and his grip on your waist tightens when you try to move. "Stop moving. I'm trying to cuddle you."

You scoff before chuckling lightly. "Since when you do cuddle?"

"Since now. Now, shut up, I'm trying to go to sleep."

You roll your eyes at the words, but there's no heat behind them, and you feel sleep catching up to you as well.

Eren Jaeger might annoy to no end, but maybe this isn't so bad.

[heartcal]

distant; c.h.

it’s finally here omg and being posted on time too (barely)!

this was an idea i started writing back in late 2015 (literally the first few paragraphs are from the old draft with some editing) and while cleaning up my drafts i decided to continue it since i liked it :^D

pairing: calum hood x reader (i tried to make it gender neutral so if i used pronouns while describing the reader, i apologize and feel free to let me know!)

summary: you feel like the relationship is deteriorating because he’s gotten distant. you want to bring it up with him, but how can you when he doesn’t realize something is wrong? and why does it invoke a hurtful argument when you voice your feelings?

warnings: none really other than some cursing, arguing, and cal’s kinda an ass sorry lol

genre: angst, very angtsy 

wc: 2,645

my masterlist!

The candle flickered on the coffee table as the sound of rain hitting the roof was prominent. Total silence engulfed you as you finally made up your mind. Your thoughts were running wild for at least the past two hours as you went through numerous scenarios on how he’d react.

Calum had been acting different ever since he came home from tour. It felt like he was distancing himself from you as he began to hang out with his friends right as he got the time off. He already planned visits to his family, which were coming up very soon. He would text you, but they’d only be a couple of words or no more than four sentences a day. At first, you believed it was because he was tired from tour, and honestly who wouldn’t be tired if they had been on a tour bus and planes for almost a year with minimal breaks?

You understood his profession and what comes along with it, you really do.

But when you saw fan pictures or paparazzi pictures of your boyfriend having a hell of a time, obviously without you, it hurt.

You’re not clingy at all; you want him to have a lot of fun considering his age and, due to his fame, he can’t do a lot of the stuff you and other non-famous people can do. You’re not clingy at all, but you would appreciate some one-on-one time with him, especially now that he’s back from tour and soon would be promoting yet another album.

You took a few deep breaths to calm yourself down and bring forth your final thoughts on the situation. A break-up is the last thing you want to do. You want to work out whatever is happening between you two, talk it out, and straighten out any knots within the relationship. You don’t want to throw away the past two and a half years, and possibly the five years of friendship.

When you two got together it didn’t come as a surprise to those close to you. The guys were waiting for it to happen, and when it did they didn’t even bat an eye. Your family already thought the two of you were dating, while Calum’s family let out a sigh of relief when the news came out because they saw how happy you made him as a friend.

It started as a test; to see if this is what you want and if it feels right. It did, more than it should if you had to be honest. It almost scared you just how normal it felt to be with him, and the same can be said for him. You had minimal arguments, minimal disagreements; the good outweighed the bad.

But the honeymoon phase can only last so long.

The first time he went on tour when you got together, it was a promotional tour. He wasn’t gone for a long time but he did travel often. That left little to no time to talk, text, or facetime. When he was able to contact you, it was short, but he managed to make it worth it with sweet words and words of encouragement from you.

The second time was a domestic promotional tour. He had asked you to join him, and after getting the OK to work remotely from your boss, you agreed to join him. It was almost like a vacation for you, even if Calum was gone most of the day. On his days off, or when he had part of the day off, it was spent with you alone or with the guys plus you and their significant others.

The third tour was when things started to dwindle. Six months after their third album was released, they went on tour and contact was hard to get. You joined him for a month or two, but after leaving to get back to work, it began to feel like the first time he went on tour. Towards the end of the tour he frequently contacted you, stating that he was, “stressed from the constant traveling,” and he had a hard time keeping up with what day it was.

You didn’t think about it much. Touring like that can strain anyone, amateur or pro. But what you couldn’t understand was how he behaved after the tour. After the first two tours, it was fine, but after tour number three you noticed how distant he would get. Ignoring calls and texts, but updating social media at any time of day and night. It struck you as odd, but he eventually came around with an apology and lots of makeup dates.

Now after tour number four, he’s as distant as ever. You gave him some space but he never came around. It’s been two and a half weeks since you’ve had proper contact.

Running over what you want to say to him in your head, you miss the knocks on your front door. You also miss the sound of your lock turning and the door opening.

“There you are,” You jump at that, turning towards the front door with a hand on your heart.

“What—how did you get in?” You stumble, gone are the thoughts you had previously.

Calum holds his right hand up, his set of keys and key chains jingling as he shakes his hand lightly. He has a small smile on as he speaks, “You gave me a copy, remember?”

You stare blankly at him, recalling the time when you finally moved out of the apartment you shared with an old friend and their partner. You were so happy that you found a place to live on your own, closer to work and closer to Calum. You made him a copy so that he knew he was welcome (and also for safety reasons).

You nod with a hum in response, your eyes moving to the painting a few feet away from him.

If he notices your behavior, he doesn’t mention it as he puts his keys on the hook next to your while taking off his shoes (something you nagged him about since the living room had carpeting).

You knew you had to bring it up. It was sitting on your tongue but your brain couldn’t form the words and sentences that you had previously thought of.

He sighs out as he takes a seat next to you on your couch, his right arm stretched behind you on the back of the couch while his left arm rested on the arm.

You sat stiff, not leaning back or into him no matter how much you craved it. Rather than giving in, you were more focused on the anger starting to bubble up inside of you. How can he act like nothing is wrong after ignoring you for almost three weeks?

“You’re quiet tonight,” he retracts his arm from the back of the couch and moves his hand to your forehead, “You feeling okay?”

When he brings his other hand up to his own forehead, you smack his arm away.

You scoff, letting your anger show, “Really, Calum?”

His puzzled look pushes you over and you stand up.

“What?” He asks as his eyes follow you as you head to the window.

Taking a deep breath and staring out at the city below, you realize that it’s now or never. Releasing the breath as a sigh, you turn towards him.

“Is something wrong?” He questions again.

“I know that tour takes a lot out of you,” you begin, willing yourself to bring your eyes up to meet his, “but you’ve been distant—more than usual. I know you want some time to yourself after touring, and I give you the time, but I can’t help but feel ignored Calum.”

Calum stands with a frown, bringing his hands up to his head before running them down his face with a sigh. His mouth opens to say something but nothing comes out. He stands in front of his seat on the couch, hands on his hips and shoulders slumped. He wants to say something, wants to tell you that he’s not ignoring you, but he can’t bring himself to say so.

“I’ve seen the pictures of you out with your friends. I’m happy you’re spending time with them, that you’re out there having fun because I know you haven’t seen them in so long. And your family, too. But I would like to spend time with you before you head out again.”

“I spent a lot of time with you before I left,” he mumbles, taking a few steps towards you.

“I know-” you hold your hand up to stop him from getting closer, “but you also spent plenty of time with your friends.”

He takes another step towards you, ignoring your signal. His body language shows that he doesn’t want to argue; his steps are small, head tilted only slightly, his eyes are staring intently at you.

It’s silent. Your breathing picks up as you hold back frustrated tears, which causes Calum’s own breathing to falter. He moves his jaw to help ease the tension he feels – a tick you know he picked up from a tour crew member – and shakes his hands as if he was trying to rid them of something.

He inhales, eyes on the floor at his feet, “I feel like we spend too much time together.”

Ouch. His words had a sharp impact, like a punch to the gut when you least expect it. The kind of heart-dropping, breathless pain.

“You think—do you think I’m clingy?” The word leaves a bad taste in your mouth because you felt that you were far from it.

“That’s not what I said—,” he stops, taking in his lower lip with a hand ruffling the hair on his head, “—that’s not what I’m saying at all.”

“But that’s what you’re implying,” you accuse with narrow eyes.

He shakes his head, growing upset with how this night is turning out. He came over to spend time with you, knowing that when comes back from visiting his family he will have only a couple more days of rest before putting all his focus on the new album.

“Look,” he sighs and sits on the edge of the couch with his head in his hands, “all I’m saying is, I wanted to spend some time with my friends since I don’t see them as often as I see you.”

Your jaw tightens, “I understand that, but what about our relationship?”

“What about it?”

“It doesn’t feel like a relationship anymore,” you’re blunt, straight to point out how you feel.

He scoffs, “Cut the bullshit.”

Your speechless, watching him stand up and walk to the other side of the living room. The rain outside has gotten louder with an occasional rumble in the distance, but you’re focused on how he brushed off how you felt like it wasn’t important.

“Just because I don’t spend all my time with you doesn’t mean we’re not in a relationship,” he says, resting his left arm on the bookshelf against the wall, “I have other relationships to manage besides ours.”

“You barely manage this one, Calum,” a tear threatens to spill over your lower lid, “Two and a half weeks of little to no contact, and you suddenly show up to my apartment as if everything is fine? I sat here wondering if something happened on tour that was making you this distant, but from what I’ve seen on Twitter and Instagram…you’re doing just fine. You’re smiling, you’re laughing—you’re seemingly your usual self. So why did all my texts get left on read, no response at all, especially when I just wanted to know that you were okay?”

He sucks his teeth, a humorless laugh leaving his lips as he turns to look at you, “You’re overreacting.”

Another jab to the heart, and this time you let the tears freely fall down your cheeks.

He stands up straight and licks his lips, eyes dancing around the room. They bounce over photos of you with your friends, family, and him. In the back of his mind, he knows this is too much. He knows his words may be overstepping and hurtful, but he can’t see where you’re coming from.

“I’m entitled to my own life, just like you. I have friends I want to hang out with, just like you. Sometimes I need time to myself away from you. Maybe you were right earlier, maybe you are clingy.”

He watches as your tears fall, the pained expression you wear didn’t go unnoticed but he does choose to overlook it.

He cuts you off when your mouth begins to open, “Maybe another thing you were right about before, this doesn’t feel like a relationship, right?”

He rolls his shoulders, jaw clenched as he walks to the front door. Your eyes are covered with unshed tears, previous tears leaving trails down your cheeks and nose. He sees them, there’s a pounding in his brain that’s trying to take control so he can go over and console you with unlimited apologies. But he doesn’t.

Calum grabs his keys, taking off your key and tossing it to your feet. He slides his shoes on, his movements rough as his breathing gets heavier. His eyes reach yours and those dark brown eyes you grew to love have now become hurtful, clouded by an unrecognizable emotion.

His hand blindly reaches for the lock, turning it before lowering to the handle, “If this relationship doesn’t feel like one, let’s end it, yeah?”

Without another word, he opens the door and leaves. Your eyes shed the built-up tears as they fall towards the spare key on the ground.

You don’t know how it came to this. You had your mind made up of how you wanted the conversation to go, what to do if worst comes to worst and how to repair the relationship itself. You weren’t expecting him to come over. Once he walked through that door all your thoughts evaporated and you were left grasping for any remaining thoughts.

You kneel to pick up the key, but your knees are too weak to stand back up. The key glares at you, reminding you painfully of what once was.

But behind your front door stands Calum, a racing mind and pounding heart. He stares at the floor and it finally dawns on him. Mindlessly he’s ended up outside, the warm air of your apartment lobby did not prepare him for the chilly rain outside. By the time he’s in his car, he’s soaked and he’s uncomfortable.

He doesn’t start the car, instead, he reaches for the steering wheel and grips it tightly. The emotions wash over him and the tears slide down as fast as they formed. He shakily inhales, followed by a sob and a sniffle.

The rain is heavy, muting his sobs to his own ears. A sharp crack of thunder makes him jump, and after a few more sniffles and constant wiping of his cheeks, he starts his car and drives back home.

It’s late when you go to bed. The numbing pain in your chest ruins your chances of a good night’s sleep, but selflessly you wished Calum a goodnight before attempting to sleep.

Calum sleeps on his couch, too tired to bring himself to his bed but too hurt to sleep. His eyes drift to his phone on the coffee table when it vibrates; a message from a groupchat talking about an outing scheduled for tomorrow. His sore eyes shut and he turns away from the table.

In the darkness, he sees your pained expression, the way you shrunk as he threw those harsh words at you. It’s an image that will be imprinted forever in his mind, and he regrets everything.

~~~

part two!

[fenristheorem]

Masterlist

~ Your own library of Fenris’s writing ~

... and guides, writing updates, and rules link, for your convenience ~

*Ask box is currently closed, please see rules list (linked below) for more details.

Last Updated Feb. 10th, 2022.

I write for Eldarya only, so all of this is for Eldarya.

Have a request? Wonderful! Please read the rules before asking - you’ll also find the link to the ask box in the rules post, as well as a lot of other important information regarding requests.

Ask Key: Most of these are ANE, anything starred (*) means it’s in Origins. If it’s in Origins it’s usually stated alongside the link as well. Warnings will be stated alongside the link if necessary. The term “WIP” means “work in progress”. Some asks are listed here for updates on how the writing is going so people know what I’m working on and how their ask is going (if they see their request on the list). If I use the term “review” and/or “edit”, it means it’s likely completed and I’m doing final revisions before posting. If I write “Draft” next to a listing it means it’s been put in my drafts folder but isn’t yet being written. I’ve acknowledged this ask’s existence and I will begin to think about it, but I haven’t started to write it (it would be a WIP if I was writing it).

To simplify my terminology because I may have been confusing in my writing above: an ask will be sent into my ask box. Eventually I’ll add it into my drafts folder where I will list it on this Masterlist and label it as “Draft”. Eventually I will begin to work on it, and this list will be updated to show “WIP” next to the listing to show that I’m working on it. When I’m done writing it, it will be under review for a few days, and the update here will say “Review” or “Edit”. When I post the ask, I will link it here and it won’t have any specific update - it’ll just have the underline that shows there’s a link to the completed request. 

~ Lance ~

My re-write of 2021 Lance Valentine’s Event

General Headcanons (3 normal, 3 romantic)

Lance with a very motherly s/o

Lance in a relationship with Guardienne with autism

*Ask requesting my theory on how Lance discovered the Guard was hunting down dragons (Origins)

Lance with Guardienne who is a dragon

Lance angry in a New Era - what would anger him

Lance with a really touchy Guardienne? (Some NSFW)

Lance’s reaction to the first hug Gardienne gives him

(Not exactly an ask, mainly a tiny hc) Lance has a mating season "clock"

Lance’s reaction when he realizes he’s falling in love with Gardienne

Guardienne and Lance's relationship when they're a couple AND part 2 to this ask (Very minor, mostly non-descriptive NSFW in the second)

(More of a theory than an ask) “Do you think Lance has mommy issues?”

(OC ask) Scenario/headcanon for human OC s/o and lance

Gardienne and Lance first kiss

Lance with a sapiosexual partner/s.o

Lance’s first time with Guardienne (Major NSFW)

Lance’s reaction to Guardienne having a nightmare

*Lance’s P.O.V. (point of view) during episode 26 (Origins)

*Guardienne joins Lance against the guard (Origins) 

Lance with an s/o who doesn’t like PDA (public displays of affection)

NSFW headcanons for Lance (Major NSFW if you couldn’t tell lol)

Lance dating a virgin s/o (Very vague NSFW)

2-part ask - Lance taking care of Gardienne with a fever that makes her delirious AND (seperately) where she has difficulty moving

Lance and Guardienne’s first date

Lance’s reaction to Guardienne’s suicide (Major depressive themes)

Lance’s first impression of Mathieu

Lance + begging + bondage NSFW (Major NSFW)

Lance’s reaction when he finds out Guardienne is awake (Quite a bit of swearing at first)

Romantic headcanons

Dragon headcanons

*(WIP) Lance NSFW (Origins) (Major NSFW) (3 week save)

Huang Hua’s observations as Lance falls in love with Guardienne

(Draft) Lance with a plus size s/o

~ Leiftan ~

*Leiftan with an s/o who's ok / amazed with him being a daemon (Origins)

*Leiftan with an s/o who doesn’t feel pain (Origins)

Leiftan dating a virgin s/o (Very vague NSFW)

~ Nevra ~

Nevra dating a virgin s/o (Very vague NSFW)

(Draft) (OC request) Special OC request

~ Valkyon ~

(Theory) “How do you think Valkyon and Gardienne relationship would be in ANE? if Valky were alive”

~ Huang Hua~

Huang Hua’s observations as Lance falls in love with Guardienne 

~ Lance Episode Guides ~

Episode 4 ANE

Episode 5 ANE

Episode 6 ANE

Episode 7 ANE

Episode 8 ANE

Episode 9 ANE

Episode 10 ANE (episode released but I don’t have a guide yet)

Episode 11 ANE (episode not yet released)

I might list my general Eldarya theories as well, but maybe not. I’ll see what I feel like doing in the future (if people would like me to add my theories to this list, however, I’m fine with doing that).

This is a link for info on my OC, Fenris, and her semi-AU in Origins for anyone who is interested to know. If anyone would like to request specific scenarios with these two (or request for me to write them in general) go ahead and ask!

Currently working on a masterlist for excerpts of Fenris (OC) and Lance. When it’s finished I’ll link it here.