#this has been in my drafts for 4 years whoops

[blackbackedjackal]

Wendy Klemperer

[itsmespicaa]

The way I literally lost my mind when I saw them in the movie omg...after 40 years, my beloved twins are finally back together 😭🫶💖

(I spent like a good chunk of rewatches just trying to spot every single appearances of them HAHAHA- OTL i hope we DO get a sequel and when we do, hopefully the twins will be there too :"D)

[ivystoryweaver]

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

This has been in my drafts for a year, enjoy that

Poe Dameron Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Summary: You expected your best friend to be as optimistic about Life Day as he is about everything else. But he's different this year. (This is set after the events of The Last Jedi if you're interested in the timeline)

Pairing: Poe Dameron x gn!reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Content: Poe is a sad/tipsy/handsy puppy, angst, inebriation, drinking, kissing, misunderstandings, discussions of death, probably inaccurate Life Day nonsense, friends to lovers, pining, this boy's trauma deserves some attention ok

Poe wasn't at breakfast.

He missed your morning run together.

Life Day spirit was in the air and General Organa had released as much personnel as could be managed, particularly those who celebrated.

Maybe Poe headed back to Yavin 4 without mentioning anything?

Your best friend usually told you everything, so if he left without saying goodbye...

"Have you seen Poe?" You asked a few dozen people throughout the day, even going so far as to find General Organa, pleading with her to tell you if he was off on a solo mission, or a secret one.

She assured you she had ordered no such mission.

So where was he?

Deciding to head back to your room to change for the festivities, you tried to shake off the anxiety prickling your skin. After a quick trip to the fresher, you put on your best outfit - which was basically the only thing you owned that wasn't Resistance-issued attire.

Upon checking Poe's room one final time, you reluctantly made your way to the mess hall, which, for the people remaining at the Resistance base, would serve as a dance floor.

Colorful strings of lights illuminated the dimly lit room, mismatchedbulbs from droids and ships and even various lanterns. Trinkets special to Resistance members were strung up here and there - good luck charms and souvenirs from missions - anything that would reflect and sparkle and shine.

As if holiday magic itself was guiding you, the sparkle of a familiar gold necklace glinted, catching your eye. All the sudden, there he was, sitting in a corner, surrounded by people, slurring his way through a story of battle glory.

Shit, he was already tipsy? Not good.

His dark brown eyes brightened as they landed on you.

"There you are," he laughed out, reaching out for you, suddenly ignoring the others vying for his attention. "I was just talking about you, come here."

Despite the fact that he was nestled in a corner booth, he insisted you shimmy your way to sit down beside him.

"Poe, it's okay, there's no room. I can just - "

"Nooo, 'sokay," he waved his hand dismissively before reaching up to pull on your sleeve. "Sit with me, right here. Been waiting for you."

Poe was so damn stubborn when he'd been drinking...which is how you ended up smooshed up against his side, halfway on his lap.

"You smell so good," he murmured, burying his nose behind your ear as his arm slid around your waist.

Nudging him with your shoulder, you couldn't help but smile. "How much have you had to drink? It's early."

The corner of his mouth curled knowingly as he touched his forehead to yours. "Started early. You weren't here to stop me."

Your face heated up at how flirty he seemed this evening. "What are you talking about? I've been looking for you everywhere."

"Not everywhere or you would have found me here," he shrugged, pushing his half empty drink toward you. "Gotta catch up."

"Uh, no thank you," you giggled, trying to find a comfortable sitting position that didn't land you all the way in Poe's lap. On second thought, maybe if you finished Poe's drink, you could keep an eye on what else he chose to imbibe for the rest of the evening.

"Actually, give me that." You downed it in a couple gulps, to Poe's great amusement and a whoop from your table mates.

"Okay, okay, you have to play the game too," a fellow pilot informed you, nodding to a cheap looking bottle of something or other in the middle of the table. "Truth or dare?"

You glared over at Poe. "Truth or dare? How old are we?"

"Four-hundred thirty-seven," an alien pilot opposite you teased. "Haven't played Truth or Dare since I was around two-hundred."

"Exactly," you decided to let a couple of centuries make your point.

"Come onnn, play with us," Poe breathed on your ear, goosing your ribs, which sent your backside jerking against his thigh as you shrieked in surprise. You nearly lost your balance, but Poe wrapped his arms around your torso to steady you.

"Truth or dare?" You were asked again.

With a groan, you decided on truth.

"You've hooked up with Commander Dameron," she declared. Everyone at the table leaned in, ready for your answer. You should have known.

"No, I haven't. That's the truth."

"Commander?" She challenged, fact-checking your statement with Poe.

"Don't ask me, it's not my turn," he mysteriously shrugged, which elicited some 'oooh's' and made you groan.

The game continued until it was Poe's turn. He choose truth and was posed the same question as you. His answer confirmed yours - no hookups between you. That fact didn’t stop his thumb from languidly tracing circles on your stomach as he held onto you.

On your next turn, you tried to avoid another probing question by choosing dare.

"Kiss Commander Dameron," the older alien pilot challenged. You felt a chuckle rumble in his chest.

"Fine," you shrugged, turning your head to peck him on the cheek. A chorus of 'boo's' went up, but you silenced them, letting them know they didn't specify where or how you had to kiss Poe.

So, naturally, when it was Poe's turn, he chose dare, and was dared to kiss you. On the mouth.

"Okay, time for bed," you decided, attempting to climb out of your crowded seat and off Poe's thigh, which you were certain had fallen asleep by now underneath your weight.

"Aw, don't go," Poe complained, keeping a loose hold on your wrist, but not holding you back, in case you really wanted to leave. "It won't be Life Day without you. Promise I won't kiss you."

Your eyes met his and you swore you saw a flicker of sadness dance across them. "Okay, I'll stay, but no more Truth or Dare." Hitching your thumb at your table mates you whispered, "They're ganging up on us."

"Then let's go dance," Poe proposed, releasing your wrist and clambering out of the booth and onto the dance floor. Just to make you laugh, he did a silly twirl and struck a pose before offering his hand. “Shall we?”

"Wow, you are so drunk," you cackled taking his hand and following him willingly.

You made it to the middle of the makeshift dance floor, and he pulled your hand to his chest, slipping his other arm around your waist as you began to sway to the music.

Smiling at him sweetly, you released his hand, pushing your fingers up over the exposed skin of his chest, revealed by one too many buttons unfastened. Not that you were complaining. Up your fingers traced, toying with the chain nestled there, over the smooth column of his neck. His throat bobbed under your touch.

Looping your arms around his neck, you tugged your bottom lip between your teeth, swaying back and forth with a silly, dramatic flare, which earned a chuckle from Poe. His hands found your hips and squeezed, dragging you closer until your chest pressed against his and his forehead dropped to yours.

"What is going on with you?" You murmured, heart fluttering in your chest as you attempted to keep your wits about you.

"Nothing, just...really glad you're here. Missed you today," he whispered, alcohol tinged breath ghosting your lips.

"Could've fooled me. I couldn't find you anywhere, Poe. I thought you went back home for Life Day without even telling me."

"Without you? No," he shook his head as if trying to clear the cobwebs. "Not without you. Without telling you, I mean."

“But I couldn’t find you,” you insisted, resisting the urge to toy with the curls at the base of his neck. It felt good to be close to him - to have his attention. But he wasn't in his right mind and you couldn't take advantage of your friendship. "I thought maybe you were avoiding me. I was worried."

His gaze dropped, jaw clenching as your swaying eased to a stop. "I'm sorry."

In a group, drinking and telling stories, he could keep up a festive facade but you saw right through him.

"Hey," you softly redirected his gaze back to yours. "It's Life Day. You love Life Day. Right? The tree and the lights?"

"Yeah," he whispered, eyes flickering down to your lips. "I just...I'm not feeling so festive this year."

Stepping back, you ran your palms down his arms and took his hands. "Wanna get out of here? Let's get some air. We can look at the tree."

He nodded, following your lead out into the night, gripping your hand as if you might evaporate right before his eyes if he let go.

You walked quietly for several moments, cheeks burning as a few passersby noticed you holding hands with the Commander, prompting you to finally release your hold. Without the tether, Poe’s walking slowed, turning into a listless stumble, which was how you realized he might not be in any shape to take a stroll through the woods.

Perhaps he was better off tucked into a booth, surrounded by people. The fact that you misread the situation and his needs brought a wave of trepidation and regret. You stopped walking and turned to him, pressing your palms against his chest.

It took his mind a second to catch up, so you guided him around the side of the closest building - closed for the holiday. Steadying him up against the wall, with hands on his chest once more, you apologized. “I should take you back to your room.”

Gripping your elbows, he stared at you so intently it made your knees go weak. As your body swayed into his, he wrapped his arms around you, gathering you close. Mistaking it for a hug, albeit an intimate one, you turned your head to lay it on his chest, but his mouth met yours, capturing your lips in kiss.

All the air rushed out of you as he tasted you, spreading his hand over the curve of your back and pressing and pulling you into him harder. The heat of his tongue and the solid warmth of his body consumed you utterly and you found yourself kissing him back with fervor.

The sound of voices and a clattering bottle nearby jolted you out of...whatever this was, sending you stumbling back, dazed. You felt as drunk as Poe apparently was, but from him alone rather than the half drink you’d downed.

Poe, mistaking your withdrawal as rejection, reached for your arms, murmuring, "No, no, I'm sorry, don't go."

Noticing his obvious distress, you allowed his touch, gripping his biceps through his leather jacket. "It's okay. I'm here," you breathlessly gasped, mind reeling and heart pounding. "Let me take you back."

"I don't want you to go," he whimpered, grip on your forearms tightening. "Don't be mad. I don't want...I can't - "

"Hey," you soothed, touching his cheek to direct his bleary gaze to yours. "I won't leave you. Not ever."

This seemed to appease him and he followed your lead back to his room. Your instincts seemed to somehow be way off with him tonight, and you regretted tearing him away from the fun he seemed to be enjoying before you interrupted.

Maybe it was you. Perhaps that's why he'd avoided you all day. Hot tears burned your eyes as you guided him to lie down on his bed. As he pleaded with you not to go, again, you hushed him, swearing you wouldn't.

You worked his boots off his feet before helping him sit up to remove his jacket. Climbing into bed, you wrapped your arms around him, guiding him to lie down on your lap. His distress calmed almost instantly as he murmured, "thank you" a few times, burying his nose in your tummy.

"Love you so much," he whispered so faintly, you convinced yourself he must have said something else.

Raking your fingers through his slightly damp curls, you shushed him a few times, realizing you'd never seen him like this. Tipsy? Yes. Drunk? Maybe once or twice. Handsy? Always. But broken? Not like this.

He fell asleep in minutes and only then, did you let tears escape your eyes. Before long, you felt your eyes grow heavy, so you worked your way down onto the bed, hoping not to wake Poe.

Somehow, exhaustion mingled with the pounding in your heart - from worry, from sharing Poe's bed, from the flavor of alcohol on your lips from his kiss. And from the words he uttered - things he probably wouldn't even remember.

Sleep finally came, granting you both reprieve.

The next morning, you awoke while there was barely light in the sky. Since Poe was still asleep, you decided to freshen up a bit and get him some toast and something hot to drink. You crept out of his room and back again as quietly as you could manage.

Upon your return, you were surprised to find him sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows digging into his knees and head in his hands. Dark curls tumbled over his fingers, obscuring his handsome face from you. His shoulders slumped defeatedly.

"Hey there," you softly greeted, presenting the tray of bland food and hot tea to him like an offering. "How are you feeling?"

"Like an asshole," he lamented, voice muffled by his hands.

"Well, I'm used to that," you attempted lightly. "But you had a lot to drink last night. What was that about?"

Raking his fingers down his face, he managed to face you then, eyes bloodshot and lips parched. It was kind of endearing to see him not looking completely perfect for once.

"First of all, tell me how pissed you are. I can take it." He visibly withdrew, waiting for your verdict on how he behaved last night.

"I'm not pissed," you assured him, "just really worried. Why don't you eat something and then we can talk?"

After Poe choked down some toast, you decided to swing by your room and change while he visited the fresher. You promised to return, and when you did, he was waiting for you with open arms.

Folding you close, he breathed on your ear how sorry he was, over and over, while you pressed your nose to the clean scent of his damp neck, exposed by the clean, thin shirt he wore.

Easing back, you reached to toy with the wet curls flipping out behind his ear. "What are you sorry for?"

"Where do I begin?" He scoffed, his gaze dropping. "I ruined your Life Day. I ignored you all day. Kissed you."

"So...you're sorry for kissing me," you clarified, your stomach dropping.

"Yes. No." He shook his head, confused. "I didn't want to be alone." He winced, regretting the words as they left his mouth.

Your jaw clenched as you struggled to maintain your composure. "So you're sorry for kissing me? Or you're sorry that you kissed me while you were drunk, just so you wouldn't be alone?"

Pacing away, one hand landed on his hip while the other tore through his hair. "That's not what I meant. I...I was trying to forget everything and just drink and have fun, but not with you."

Shit. Wrong wording. Again.

"So, that's why you avoided me all day." It wasn't a question. The realization of it stole your breath from your lungs and you sank down on the bed as tears burned your eyes.

"No, baby. No." Poe was quick to kneel down before you, reaching desperately for your hands. "This is...shit, this is coming out all wrong." Seeing tears pool in your beautiful, shining eyes seared his insides with guilt and shame - his companions ever since the events leading up to the Battle of Crait.

"Tell me what's going on," you whispered. "What did I do?"

"Nothing," he insisted, bringing your fingers to his lips and kissing them urgently.

"Too many people have died," he finally confessed, his head bowed and his voice a broken whisper. "It was supposed to be Life Day, but there's only death. We lost over half the fleet."

"I know."

"So many families couldn't celebrate Life Day. Too many." His eyes met yours, wet with fresh tears. "And how many of them are dead because of me?"

"Poe, we all know what we're signing up for when we join. We're all ready to give our lives, you know that. You can't possibly take the blame for what the First Order has done to us."

"There's blame enough for me to share, believe me," he insisted. "And I just couldn't hang anything on the tree yesterday and celebrate life. Not with over half of us gone."

Eyeing him sympathetically, you squeezed his hands. "Life Day isn't only about being alive. Death is a part of life. Life Day is also about remembering the dead. And part of living is grieving the dead, and sometimes feeling a little guilty that you're still here."

“But I don’t, though,” he admitted. “I’m glad I’m here, and more than that, I’m glad you’re here. You, most of all. You're the one person I don't wanna...that I can't..."

"Come here," you coaxed. Poe joined you on the bed but never let go of your hands. "You're my one person too, you know. The person I look for after every mission. The one person I need to be okay.

"It scared me so much yesterday when I couldn't find you," you went on.

"I'm so sorry," he repeated, rubbing his thumbs over your knuckles. "Please don't hate me for yesterday. It's been a long time since I had that much to drink. I know it's no excuse for what I did."

"So you don't remember, then...what you said?" You should have known Poe would only kiss you and utter heartfelt confessions when he was wasted.

Releasing your hand, he titled your chin up to meet his gaze. "I know what I said. I do love you. Always have." A nervous, breathless laugh escaped his perfect lips. "But I understand, you know, if you don't - "

You silenced him, pressing your mouth to his for a tender kiss. "Believe me. I do."

The sadness lingering behind his eyes started to seep away, replaced by a flicker of hope. "Is there any way we could re-do yesterday?" He proposed, tracing the shape of your jaw. "I only have one meeting today."

"That sounds perfect," you agreed, leaning into his touch.

Hand in hand, you visited the Life Day tree, said the prayers, remembered those lost. Then you had something to drink with friends - just one though, before dancing and laughing all evening.

When he kissed you this time, he meant to do it, and everyone saw it. And when you walked back to his room, he asked you to stay. And you did. Every night.

1000 Follower/Holiday Celebration Masterlist

Poe Dameron Masterlist | Main Masterlist

[mysticlongan]

HOLLYTAYA FANKID DROPPED 🔥🔥🔥

say hi to Mistleberry Cookie! consider her a cross between hollyberries and mistletoe! despite not resembling mistletoe much, I've chosen to name her Mistleberry because mistletoe often gets confused with holly... (or at least I confused them???) much like Mistleberry is (technically obligatory for Hollyberry's sake) "confused" with ONLY being Hollyberry's kid. Looking at Mistleberry, it's pretty clear she's also Pitaya's daughter, but. Shhh. We wouldn't want House Cranberry to find that out. Giant dragon wings are... kind of hard to hide, but seeing as Pitaya was able to hide theirs easily in Legend of the Red Dragon, we can probably assume Dragon Wings™️ can be turned on/off in the settings 💥

Fun facts and OC lore!

- Mistleberry can fly and DOES have a dragon tail that she can't hide! That's why she wears her huge dress!

- I don't consider her as co-existing with Royalberry Cookie! She's sort of a "what if Hollyberry had baked her kid with some of Pitaya's dough too?"

- ^ The above is funny because I headcanon Royalberry as being Pitaya's kid... BUT IF HE WASN'T... Oh, whoops. That's not a Mistleberry fact- Back to her!

- Her personality is a mix of Pitaya's and Princess Cookie. Like Princess Cookie, she often runs off on adventures (and to go see her other mom/dad/parent at the Dragon's Valley. But you know. She doesn't have to do that very often because they spend more time in the Hollyberry Kingdom.)

- She has massive amounts of beef with wyverns. My other OC, Shadow Milkshake (Mistleberry's cousin!) knows more Dragontongue than her. Mistleberry can vaguely understand Dragontongue, but not speak it. Therefore, she gets clowned on by wyverns for being the daughter of the Red/Greenish Red Dragon and being TRASH at Dragontongue. Despite this, she can take on a small dragon form for short amounts of time. I'd say she's the size of Pitaya Dragon if they were scaled down to 3/4 of a door's height. Weird measurement to use for my OC? It comes with being American 💔

- One of her favorite places to sneak off to is Dragon City, which Hollyberry used to disapprove of (since she's half-dragon). Hollyberry stopped caring after she was an adult, but she'd sneak off there as early as her teen years! To this day, she wonders why she's told she resembles Sweet Pinkyberry Cookie whenever she visits. Like, who is that? ⁉️

- She DOES have a disguise for her travels! I'll draw it soon! It's about as good as Hollyberry and Pitaya's. You can guess what that means 😭

thanks for looking at my OC!!!! this has been in the drafts for a bit so I thought I'd free her ♥️

[itsallmouthwashing]

Tulpar (JimCurl Band AU) Playslist Expansions

Playlist here, Part Two here

I'm doing more than 5 for my first post on this because by god the WORMS. I'll try to do these consistently so we're all on the same page

Content warning for: mentions of assault, mentions of parent death, drug abuse, VERY ooc characters

1.) Kiss Me (Crawlers)- In between her studies, Anya has a hard time processing the feelings of her recent assault. Her boyfriend isn’t treating her well, overall uses her for sex when he’s pent up or stressed or whatever excuse he has for why he needs his dick sucked that night. One night she’s continuing to say no. Her boyfriend proposes a drink to cap off the night and drugs her, rapes her, and breaks up with her. She can't come forward about the assault for reasons (i haven't figured out whoops). It’s the song she performs for Jimmy to ‘prove her worth.’ She plays her own bass, does her own vocals, and Dai is on drums before his own audition (Curly lowkey helped her revise the song and work through it. Sometimes she would cry to him during the process and he would just hold her. When she auditions for Tulpar, it’s the first time she doesn’t cry when she sings the song.)

It really hits Jimmy in the heart as many of his ‘friends’ (people he felt close to but those people really didn’t want to be around him) had experienced or took care of others who were victims. Of course he tries to push these feelings aside and judge the song fairly (girl, it’s a banger, let her IN), and he convinces himself that his approval had nothing to do with the topic (it didn’t really, it was a banger)

2.) Ængus The Prize-Winning Hog (The Toxhards)- A silly song Curly wrote with Jimmy at the beginning of their Tulpar ventures. They passed it around back and forth between classes when they were together. One time they got caught passing notes and the teacher read the lines out loud. She really laid into them, accusing them of taking drugs and scribbling nonsense (Jimmy was also known for passing around bud at school if other kids asked for it. Curly got him to cut that shit out at school senior year but was convinced by Jimmy to keep getting bud for them and Dai and Aynya.)

It becomes their closing song when Tulpar goes pro and signs with Pony Express Records. Anya and Dai do chorus vocals!

3.) Be Careful What You Wish For (Bad Omens)- In return for Jimmy teaching screams, Curly teaches Jimmy to sing! This is a song Jimmy wrote after he apologized to Anya and Dai and Curly for the way he’d been treating them. Still on the fence about therapy but feeling heavy with his thoughts and feelings about what he’d done. He refuses to let Curly see it or workshop it with him (he tries to hide the fact that he’s writing at all) Instead, he comes to Dai and Anya! He performs his first draft for them, can't help but cry afterward and they give him hugs for a while. They workshop a little after he calms down. It’s almost never performance ready because Jimmy can't help but tear up after he sings it, but when Curly convinces him to sing at one of their larger concerts he still cries but the crowd is so enthusiastic about his performance and emotion that he starts t feel it doesn’t matter if he does cry on stage :)

4.) Through Hell (Melrose Avenue)- A song that Jimmy’s kept private for all of his life. Songwriting was a way for him to cope and process his feelings for as long as he could remember, and this song had been with him through the beginning. One day Curly and the crew find it and decide to surprise him during one of their concerts by learning it and performing it. Curly does the entire song! Jimmy joins in with his own screams and vocals at 2:28, and they sing the song together from there :)))))) Dai does background vocals throughout the whole song, so he’s the one singing along at the start. 

The whole time Jimmy is trying to keep up on his guitar- he knows the song by heart, but seeing his friends performing a song so so dear to him makes him feel whole. (Maybe canon Jimmy would find it disrespectful and get pissed. But this barbie thinks its moving)

5.) Vampire By Rumor (TX2)- Honestly this song is only on here cause I can't get the image of Daisuke doing this song as a halloween special “concert only” song for the fans. He’s dresses as a vampire, Jimmy is a zombie (he forgot about the song bit entirely, green and purple face paint was somehow on hand and he didn’t mind ripping holes in his shirt and jeans (said the fans go wild for the skin)), Curly is a cowboy (OF COURSE), and Anya dresses in bloody scrubs ("It's still in theme!" she argued when Jimmy pointed out it wasn't really a costume). Swansea even joins in the fun by dressing up! (he pins a paper scrap that says "costume" on his tech blacks)

6.) Forgotten (The Plot In You)- For sure one of their heaviest songs and Jimmy takes the lead. He wrote it after many years of processing his parents death. For a time he turned to drugs to cope with everything he was feelings, and after starting therapy and medication he wrote this song as a subtle promise to himself and their fans that he would stay clean

7.) At My Back (Madds Buckley)- The song Anya sings at Jimmy and Curly’s wedding :) Dai does ukulele and Anya does the drums as she sings :) 

8.) Gut Punch/Don’t Meet Your Idols (Everybody’s Worried About Owen)- Another song in the many Jimmy wrote after his parent’s deaths. Written after he apologizes to Anya and Dai. He performs it at a local open mic that (coincidentally) Anya, Dai, and Curly are at for drinks and to vent. The ‘idol’ in this context would be his dad. The crew agrees to keep it secret that they saw him, but end up being the loudest when he finishes. Thankfully he doesn’t notice them and thinks he’s just hearing things

9.) hover like a GODDESS (WILLOW)- Anya wrote this after a crazy hook-up with a girl at a bar. She realizes she’s queer and FULLY embraces it. Tulpar does an Anya-centric album 

10.) she knows it (Maggie Lindemann)- Another song Anya wrote and sings. Curly gets a girlfriend and Anya is falling head-over-heels for her (while Jimmy is getting so frustrated that Curly is with someone else). Depending on how long the relationship goes on for Anya tries not to stare at her while she sings but can't help it. Jimmy can't help but look at Curly

[darcydarlingdabbles]

❣️🖋️ Darcy Darling’s Writing Update 🖋️

Dec 17th, 2024

(yes, I'm using the banner again. Causes it's pretty and I like it~)

🩷Fanfics |✒️Original Fics |🩸Fave Comments

~Fanfics~

At Mid Winter~

Posting every day until Christmas ~

All other fics on pause for the holidays

I made a new Banner for this AU~ first fic listed on my master post

Falling for the Morningstars ~

The rough draft is about...8 chapters ahead of the posted fic

The tension, is delicious~

I write linearly, but this is the slowest burn I've written and I AM DYING.

Until the Devil's Last Dance ~

First draft of Part 2 completed last night at 1am XD

Ngl, the ending of Part 2 made me cry

I can't wait to start Part 3, the in Hell section is my favorite and it has the happy ending~

A Harmony of Haunted Hearts~

This is the Alastor/Charlie/Vaggie one, my only not RadioApple

Rough draft is only about 2 chapters ahead of the posted fic

My other slowburn baby, killing me softly,

The Melody Between Us~

The spin off of The Static Between Us that I said totally wasn't happening but now totally is. XD

I started out writing shameless smut about Vox being cucked, now it's a whole thing.

This fic is last on my list currently, sooo don't expect updates until like mid January. But I'm impulsive so the first chapter/Prologue is up. (it's just a scene setter though don't get too excited XD

~Original Fics~

You can read these for free on Ream, but I've also got a special offer for my fanfic peeps to read for free for a year.

Throuple vs Plant Zombies -

Books 4, 5, and 6 have been vaguely summarized, about to do a chapter outline before the end of the year.

Book 1 is being published Jan 22, 2025 and is on preorder now!

Alpha reader gave me feedback that there was too much drama, not enough zombie...me, dramatic? Never. But I fixed that XD

Smalltown Sheriff 2nd Chance MM -

Book 3 has been finished!

Book 1 is being published Feb 19, 2025 and is on preorder now!

Everywhere but Amazon...thanks Amazon.

Got flagged for being erotica...whoops, look my boys are horny Okayyy? XD

MM Age Gap Superhero/Soulmates -

Book 3 finished this morning!

Book 1 is being published March 19, 2025 and preorder is up now!

Another slow burn bb, why do I do this to myself. The first major sexy scene is the end of book 3...killllling meeeee.

~Fave Comments~

"I love it when they play nice with each other and have each others back 🥹" Ream User on Take Me Home "Oh I loved this so much. Alastor is always the one to console and care for Lucifer. Seeing Alastor being taken care of is so beautiful. Doms also need reassurance that what they're doing is okay by their subs. Consent, words of affirmation, and safe words are for both parties. I'm glad we got to see such vulnerable displays from not only Lucifer but Alastor as well." Kermit_in_disguise on At Mid Winter " Omyfuckinghell!!! 😳😳😳 I think I need to change my pants now....... Al sooooo good and hot as dominant role here, so I understand Vox in 5 chapter. I'm wanna be in Luci's place too... Anyway in all your works which your write amazing sex scenes. Your fics with dominant Al are really one of the best, which i found in Ao3." Anji_Newman on Boys at the Beach

You have no idea how much my ace ass prides myself on having amazing sex scenes XD

Thanks for reading~

[mobolanz]

7, 12 & 18 for the oc asks 💓

Ty Em (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡💞💞💕

7. Have any of your OCs gone through major revisions in the year 2023?

Shocking reveal up until last April Evelyn used to look like this 🤧

Ultimately her eyes and hair swapped xD

I do kinda still love this pallette I need to reuse it with someone else maybe. Cecille considering they were sisters in early drafts during the attempt to insert Evelyn in bnha? Idk.

Then one day , year and two months into shipping her with Reiner, I was like "WAIT WHO TF IN AOT EVEN HAS BLUE HAIR OR DRESSES LIKE THAT MAYBE THAT'S WHY I'M UNINSPIRED ON ART IT FEELS UNNATURAL- " (no Rico doesn't count mappa made her blonde anyway)

I had 3 options between Auburn (low-key could work?) , blonde (nahhh she'd have looked like hisj clone xP) , and scarlet that ultimately won for me. ( and thematically one that makes most sense 🍎🩸🤧)

Nowdays you have this absolute beauty, and she's even got a pre-timeskip design! 🥰🥰🥰

It got extremely long to show it's been 4 years....

Someone else too let me see... I feel like next ask would expand on it 😳😳

12. Were any of your older OCs revived in 2023?

Almost. Were late 2022 to count I'd have answered with Kaguya & Kira (my secondary AOT & BNHA ocs). But that said might need to look into their cases again for this year since it's been a while and I had major steps with the others meanwhile. Like I said with Evelyn's previous blue hair,,, I'll need to do something with kaguya but still have her recognizeable BC I'm sentimental 😆 but otherwise Mia & Evelyn were the ones for the 2023 spotligh-...

Silly me, as I type this I remember Towa during my sailor moon s1 rewatch 🤭 who underwent her third name change (kiyo in 2018 (it was from before i watched fruba i swear- )> Rei in 2019 until that point when i realized i want to insert her in the sm universe anddd can't have her share name with an already existing character xD and ber hair was brown/black. > Towa by now) .

her current characterization from what i wrote down is giving her more of a challenge with it being how she's precieved as dull and invisible for granted , being reserved and thinking it's natural and only logical. Until,,, whoops. She also reveals a more cynical curious and snarky to her.

And also my third character attempt to ship with nephrite. Mia was first edgy attempt in 2016( or maybe I'm too harsh. I was a teen in bad place and the only person I shared with was kinda toxic about it) . Evelyn was the second in 2019,( not talking about this one because really.... nothing came there xD bbygirl underwent about 5 ships before I figured who her true love really is (🛡️🍎) I think and glad it's him 😆😆😆)

What were your biggest inspirations for developing your OCs in 2023?

Answered it here ^^ 🤧

oc wrapped: 2023 edition!

[corpupine]

A Long-Awaited Update

I’ve been putting off writing this update for a while now. Not because I’m suffering or struggling at all—life is actually really good! It’s had some truly awful, crappy stuff mixed in, but for the most part my life is very happy. The reason I’ve been putting this off is that I really don’t know where to start. Most of you will have noticed that I stopped posting updates of NemaTale on here sometime last year. There are a couple of reasons for that that I want to explain, then I want to move on to life updates and what’s coming next for NemaTale.

First: Why did I stop posting on Deviantart?

There’s no special reason or controversy here. I post on three sites: Deviantart, Tumblr, and Tapas. Both Tumblr and Tapas offer a scheduling system so that posts can be queued in advance. I was able to schedule posts on those two sites, but Deviantart doesn’t have that function, so each time there was an update I had to go in and manually enter all the information. As my life got more and more hectic (which will be explained a little bit more in the life updates section), I found that I was forgetting to update on Deviantart. I kept on putting it off, figuring I’d get around to it eventually. But uh, whoops—the end of Chapter 4 has been posted everywhere but on Deviantart! I’ll get those last pages up and running soon, but I wanted to offer some sort of explanation before I did so.

(As a side note: I haven't been keeping up with updating the links between pages on Tumblr, for a similar reason. I'll hopefully get those up and going soon so you guys can read the comic more easily on here.)

Second: What’s going on with Corpupine?

So much, you guys. Soooo much, and most of it is—like I said—truly wonderful. I haven’t been posting updates about my life hardly at all, and I want to maintain privacy, but here’s a few fun things I wanted to tell you about:

-Got a big girl job working for a local publishing company (I’m an editor by day and I love it, but it’s very time and energy consuming)

-Helped my wonderful husband self publish a book (that I edited, naturally)

-Moved to a different city

-Finally, finally finished a draft for a novel I’ve been tinkering with for 9 years

Oh, and also, this:

Yes, in what may be the best (accidentally) kept secret ever, I’m a few months away from giving birth to a baby girl. That has been the main reason for my absence online as my husband and I have been preparing for her arrival. This baby has been very much something we have hoped for, and it took longer than we expected to get this far, so we are very happy. We are over the moon excited, a little freaked out, and ready to snuggle her sooo good.

So with that bombshell dropped, let’s talk a little bit more about the stuff you’re all really here for.

What’s next for NemaTale?

Months before I got pregnant, I had already finished Chapter 5. The script for chapter 6 is about 50% written—the broad strokes are there, I just need to nail down the dialogue. Then I started my big-girl job, and life started to get a little out of control. I was incredibly busy all the time with my job, and helping my husband with his book, and I really wanted to start using any free time just to rest and recuperate. I think that was the best choice for me; too much on my plate would have probably led me to have a nervous breakdown, haha. As it is, I’m doing well emotionally, but . . . I haven’t drawn anything since about June of last year. So we’ve got Chapter 5, totally finished and just waiting to be queued up; chapter 6, partially written; aaaaand then a big black void in front of me. (Why does that word feel so . . . familiar?) That should be scary to me, but it’s not. I’ve accomplished a lot, even if I haven’t progressed on the comic. I’m proud of myself and how far I’ve come. But what does that mean for you guys?

Here's the lowdown: I’m giving birth soon. I’m not going to be able to commit to any sort of comic goals in the near future. I’m not even sure what the future of NemaTale looks like, but I do know this: I still love this story. I don’t want to stop creating it, but now’s not the right time for me to be focusing on that. Sometimes life just gets too full to do everything on the list. I just can’t keep this at the top of my list for now.

Chapter 5 is, as I’ve said, completely ready to go (except for the chapter cover, which I haven’t made yet.) So I’m going to put this choice out to you guys. What do you want? Do you want me to go ahead and post chapter 5 over the next few months and then I’ll just see you all when I see you, somewhere down the line? Or do you want me to wait to post chapter 5 until there is also a chapter 6 officially on the way? That could take many, many months, so be aware of that.

I love the interactions I have with all of you. I’d love to keep having them, even if I won’t be able to post new stuff beyond chapter 5 for a while. But I really am okay doing whatever you guys think is best with regards to posting chapter 5. Just let me know in the comments below.

All right, I think that’s everything. I appreciate your patience with me in all this. In the past year, so much has happened. My husband and I have gone on adventures. I turned twenty-five and I’m finally starting to feel more comfortable in my own skin. I tragically lost one dear relative and for a while we thought we were going to lose another one—which, miraculously, we haven’t. Spring is here, and there’s a little girl kicking me in the ribs as I write this. Life is good.

[striveattemptfail]

ao3 wrapped [writers edition]

stolen from here. answering everything myself bc i'm too impatient to wait for people to ask me things lol. all stats are as of publishing this post ✌️

(cw: gifs included for some answers)

——————————

1. How many words have you written this year?

20,488 according to my stats page

technically speaking though i've written way more bc i have a bunch of wips i haven't posted yet 😅

2. How many works did you publish this year?

nine (9)!!!

i wish i could round this out to 10 before the year ends but i'm 90% sure it's not gonna happen 😔😔

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

You'll be there to push me up the hill — poolverine — 154 kudos — 900+ hits

it's chockfull of my personal movie!deadpool headcanons and things i want for post-canon dp&w

i only wish i could've squeezed in even more scenes to include russell and x-force but i barely managed to finish it on time for poolvertober so alas

special shout out to: Feel your way — poolverine — 113 kudos — 1.1k hits

i haven't written smut in literal years so i'm both shocked and grateful that i 1) wrote it at all, and 2) finished + posted it lol

4. What work of yours has the most hits?

for 2024: knee deep in the couch seat and you're not eating me out — 1.5k hits

in general: Just take my hand, and let’s enjoy — miragen & kuroko — 8k hits

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

knee deep in the couch seat and you're not eating me out — 8 comment threads + a lot of very sweet comments on tumblr and twitter (ಥ‿ಥ)❤️💛

i rushed to post on time for that day's poolvertober prompt so i wasn't very proud of it

but i'm so glad that a ton of people liked it anyway!

6. Favorite title you used

knee deep in the couch seat and you're not eating me out — insp. by chappel roan's casual

i saw the honda odyssey scene, then i heard the song, and I Immediately Knew i had to bastardize these lyrics for a fic lmfao

once again, apologies to ms roan /o\

i just!!!

does this not embody those lyrics?!?!?!?!?!!!

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

i haven't repeated an artist for titles this year!

in general though, i use red velvet english lyric translations the most LOL

8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

wade wilson/logan howlett aka poolverine

it's not even close

i'd be embarrassed but tbh i'm just shocked i even managed to finish one (1) fic at all

much less publish several of them!

i meant it when i said the poolverine brain rot might pull me out of my misery era (no jinx!)

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

poolverine

mustard and ketchup old man yaoi has me in a chokehold but i'm not particularly upset about it looool

10. What work was the quickest to write?

chaos, we so catostrophic — poolverine + blind al — 1.1k wc

i finished it in one frantic session filled with 10-min sprints 😅😂

my original idea for that day's poolvertober prompt was getting too long to finish on time, so i spent ~2 hrs in a haze laughing at myself while i thought about how funny it'd be for blind al to shoot a glock inside the apartment lmfaooo

11. What work took you the longest to write?

maybe it's a little too early (to know if this is gonna work) — poolverine — 5.2k wc

the dang &1 scene took me way too long to write bc i couldn't figure out a sideplot for it

did it need a sideplot? no.

would it have bothered me to no end if i didn't set the scene properly? yes.

and that's not even getting into the fact that logan and wade kept getting horny instead of keeping things cute and sweet like i originally planned!

i rewrote each scene multiple times bc they couldn't be serious smdh (=_=)

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

uhhhhhhh—

*checks phone*

*checks laptop*

—a lot.

at least 20.

definitely more.

i'm too lazy to count all of them between the fact that i have multiple draft files of the same fic + many of these are wips i've been sitting on for years

whoops soz

😁😁😅😅😅🥴🥴🥴🥴🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

13. What’s your longest work of the year?

You'll be there to push me up the hill — 5.4k wc

despite being the longest and hitting a wall with a few of the scenes, it was relatively easy to write

like i said, it's just filled with personal headcanons ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

all i had to do was verbalize whatever the hell goes on in my head and put it on paper lmaaaooo

14. What’s your shortest work of the year?

Back Seat — poolverine — 380 wc

it was supposed to be 300 words flat so it could be a triple drabble but these two idiots don't know how to shut up lol

ngl i completely forgot about this fic so this is likely the correct answer for q.10..........

.....that said, i'm not rewriting my answers bc i'm lazy whoops /o\

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

.......wasn't this already asked in q.12? lmao

i guess i'll give a special shout out to the poolverine professor/student au from an outsider pov bc the premise is so funny and i have it all planned out already

will i actually finish it? who knows!

certainly not me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

actually informative tag: Canon Compliant — 8/9 works

fandom specific tag: Logan Is So Done (X-Men) — 4/9 works

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

i love writing wade wilson aka deadpool bc our inner monologues are very similar

babbling on and on and on happens effortlessly

(it's the rampant adhd lmao)

both of us also have a crude sense of humour so writing the stupid crap that comes out of wade's mouth is easier than with other comedic characters bc i have the sense of humour of a 12 y/o boy and luckily wade usually does too lol

the problem is i am not near as witty as him, nor do i have the wherewithal to actually write how brutal he truly is sometimes, nor am i acquainted with pop culture enough so he can break the fourth wall effectively

which now sounds like i shouldn't be writing him at all but WHATEVER! IDC!!!

i still love writing him as a ramble-y, annoying prick bc i am a ramble-y, annoying prick myself LOOOOOL

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

logan howlett aka wolverine

i know i wrote in his pov more than wade, but still

writing logan is hard for a simple reason: i'm not like him

my biggest self-critique is that it just seems like i gave logan adhd

his internal monologue is filled with run-on sentences when it really shouldn't be

and then his actual dialogue is just.

constant grunting.

lmfao.

i do understand and relate to him in some ways, but there's also a reason why i haven't really gotten into him as a character despite being adjacent to the x-men franchise for most of my life

he's a complex dude and i'm honestly just grateful i haven't received flames yet (omg i'm in old fart) for not writing him with the care he deserves

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

honestly i wouldn't mind staying on the poolverine train for another year

it'd be nice to branch out to other ships i enjoy (tbh i can't believe i haven't posted anything for jayroy, or more wlw)

but if poolverine wants to keep their hold on me for even longer, who am i to stop them?

LOOOOOOL

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

everything bc only a third of them were beta'd lol

21. How many kudos in total did you get this year?

as of drafting this post: 1,099

hopefully by the time i publish this i'll break 1.1k! 😩🙏

ETA: I'VE BROKEN 1.1K KUDOS FOR THIS YEAR WOOHOO \o/

22. Which work has the most comments?

it's a tie!

You'll be there to push me up the hill — 18 comments total

Feel your way — poolverine — 18 comments total

23. Did you do any collaborative works this year?

unfortunately no 😔😔

i've had tremendous help from @broosepayne and @comatose--overdose with idea bouncing though!

24. Did you write any gifts this year?

again, unfortunately no

25. Did you receive any gifts this year?

nope!

which is just fine since i couldn't give any gifts 😅😅

26. What’s your most common category?

m/m

shocker, i know (<- sarcasm)

i actually have some m/f and f/f wips but none of them are anywhere near complete or polished enough to post 😩😔

27. What do you listen to while writing?

for the past few years, it's usually playlists from this channel!

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

You'll be there to push me up the hill

refer to q.3 for why lmao

(can you tell i'm running out of steam trying to finish this? /o\)

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

it's a tie between

“He believed that I, a hero, could still save someone after I refused to save him.” Piotr’s eyes wander back over to where Wade is, whose hands are in the air as he enthusiastically elaborates on something to a very patient Laura. The two siblings laugh at something he says. “Wade is not perfect,” Piotr finally rumbles, “but perhaps what he is doesn’t need to be.” (via You'll be there to push me up the hill)

and

And with a body aching from a day’s hard work, a full belly, a dog on his lap, and a man he realized was dangerously close to falling in love with sleeping peacefully by his side, he thought, I think I could live the rest of my life like this. (via tanoshii omoide — victuuri — 600+ wc)

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

it truly is the fact that i wrote AND published anything at all

i've been in a slump (creatively and otherwise) bc of my aforementioned mentioned misery era

jotting down ideas has been the extent of any creative endeavours for a very long time

finishing anything was a shock

actually posting them even more so

the fact that it happened more than once is nothing short of a miracle tbqh

mr reynolds and huge jacked man put crack something in this year's old man yaoi and i am very grateful for it!! 😂😂

WOOH i finally finished! if anyone actually reads this: you're a real one and i thank you<3

[shivasdarknight]

I've got a LOT. Like, a lot a lot so I'm going to have to put this under a cut. But let's go over Surkukteni's first :3c

First we got Surkie's fiances, aka the Engaged Quad, which is her, Ysayle, Estinien, and Aymeric.

Technically she fell for Ysayle first, and Estinien last, but the order of people getting together was jumbled because of msq and other bullshit. It basically went that pretty much all three of her fiances were at varying levels of Into Her through hvw (Ysayle in the deepest, Aymeric was probably The Most Normal About It, while Estinien was in very complicated denial), but none really said anything because of all that was going on and it feeling inappropriate (also Estinien and Aymeric weren't just only into Surkie; part of Estinien's denial was the fact he struggled processing having active feelings for two people). Obviously hvw happens, Surkie ends up extremely fucked up over the apparent death of Ysayle (it's my canon now), a huge schism has come between her and Estinien, and it's Aymeric she ends up getting a lot closer to - both through her work with him as a Dark Knight (which is a Very long story), but also in ending the Dragonsong War. He asks her out during 3.X, but she really can't bring herself to because right when she was feeling comfortable he's nearly assassinated. Taking it that she's cursed, she refuses to get attached and fucks off.

I've got a fic going of the reconciliation with Estinien during the drg70 quest which eventually turns into their fwb situation. It's a lot of complicated and messy feelings because she's struggling through a lot and he's trying to keep his own feelings out of it because she clearly needs an outlet and it seems to help with the physical loneliness/touch starved state she's in. But Whoops she goes and catches feelings and is under the impression that he wouldn't reciprocate and it eats her alive all the way into 5.3. Perish the thought that him clearly being worried about her, confiding a lot in her, being very openly fond with her could ever mean anything - and yes, she is a bit of a dense dumbass.

Through all of this is Surkie maintaining an (attempted) casual relationship with Aymeric where all of their feelings are very well laid out, but Surkie's not at all ready to commit to anything because she's still very fucked up over hvw (and her abusive ex gf). They're also in a somewhat fwb situation, but unlike with Estinien, they know it's reciprocated just not official. So there's this tone of melancholy that pervades every interaction of theirs. There's this promise of acting upon feelings when she's more adjusted, but it's been ~4 years and she's only getting worse from being denied the time to process everything.

5.3 is where Surkie breaks down and confesses to Estinien out of fear that she'd lost him to Elidibus thanks to that nightmare instance in Amaurot. And unsurprisingly, he's honest with her as well and it ends up in them renegotiating what they are to each other while making it clear that it's not going to be monogamous even if they're officially together - in part because they're comfortable in things being open, but also obviously because of Aymeric. This is also where they fuck up, but that's not discovered until 5.55.

The tailend of 5.3 is where Surkie reunites with Ysayle, and this is also a fic that can be read! :D Ysayle wasn't dead and instead spent 3.0-5.3 trying to recover from hvw and figure out what she wants to do with her life (this is also a fic and another wip one). This leads to the first arrangement of Surkie being with Estinien and Ysayle that eventually leads into a triad as Estinien and Ysayle work out unresolved issues (very fun draft I'm working on), and then pulling Aymeric into Surkie and Estinien's relationship - and that one ends up turning into a proper quad. The dynamic developed predominantly through the wait between 5.55 and 6.0 thanks to that Mistake from 5.3 (they didn't think elezen and au ra could have kids, now they've got infant twins at the start of enw), so they've been cohabitating for the last year or so? More now that we're in post enw. Aymeric proposed at the start of enw, and Surkie is still really giddy about being able to say fiances even if they never go all the way to married (they are tho, the idea of getting to call Ysayle her wife means a lot to Surkie). They're all still living at Aymeric's place while they figure out a more permanent living situation - seeing as Surkie has a bunch of murder pets like Fenrir of which there's no space for + she doesn't like city areas - and a top consideration is just fucking off into the middle of Dravania to get away from everyone lmao It's also an eventual necessity because beyond her pets (three hoarhounds - two full grown, one an adolescent - a young lykaon, and a full grown coeurl), it's four adults (well, five but living in a decent enough space with their four kids (Allie was adopted after the Werlyt storyline, then there's the twins previously mentioned, then one during 6.2) and they figured it might be better to find a place sooner rather than later.

The group is made up of two extremely sardonic people with a history of communication problems, and then two very charismatic leaders who are beyond patient - yet still have cheeky streaks underneath it. It's also three orphans and then Surkie, who isn't an orphan but also doesn't consider her blood parents to be her family. Not a single one is straight (all are bisexual, with Aymeric being the only one without a strong leaning since Surkie and Ysayle are very inherently sapphic while Estinien predominantly likes men; this arrangement is very funny to me because of this), and like half of them aren't cis (surkie's bigendered and intersex as it relates to au ra, while aymeric is a trans man). Lots of fun overlap in politics vs wanderlust as well as other interests, but mostly I just really enjoy them from the perspective as four really lonely people who found comfort in one another getting the chance to build a family together, especially when there have been so many instances where they've nearly died. Getting to build something like that with people who Get It just really gets to me it's so sweet qnq

There's also Heustienne in this. I'm still trying to figure out how she interacts with half of the Engaged Quad, but she does end up eventually seeing both Surkie and Ysayle - and specifically, it's starts seeing them again since they were both separate flings back in hvw. Heustienne has a lot larger of a role in my rewrite and isn't stuck in the drg50-60 quests, specifically she's part of the main group in hvw up until her being turned and then she ends up joining the Scions around shb. So she's around during the extended wait between 5.55 and enw and ends up back with Surkie and Ysayle, meaning that (at least for now) Estinien and Aymeric are metamours - Aymeric's more cordial since he doesn't know her super well ahead of time, but Estinien is super familiar with her and (playfully) harasses her a Lot.

Moving from them, we have another one of Surkie and Ysayle's partners.

This one's fun because it's the whole immortal and their reincarnating lover, but it's like. 2 reincarnating lovers, each meeting more and more tragic ends, but the ones that finally break through are so far divorced from the original that the immortal has to put aside her feelings for her old lovers as they're long dead and works to get to know these two present people.

Venat was lovers with Charon (Surkie) and Khione (Ysayle) back in Elpis, and Charon is a whole fucking complicated thing but it was basically three people who felt really alienated by their own society and found solace in one another. They'd always wanted a family but between Khione's infertility and Charon's severe dysphoria at the mere thought of that, as well as not knowing anyone who'd be willing to surrogate, it was something that really ate at them while Venat's original lovers were still alive. Yeah, of course they considered adoption and were more than happy to do that, but the world ended before they got the chance. Khione died first, Charon - who was supposed to be the heart of Hydaelyn - died soon after, leaving Venat as Hydaelyn for millenia. And as Hydaelyn, she had the misfortune of watching them reincarnate and find each other - time after time again - only for things to end poorly and prematurely. Across every life, across every shard - nothing seemed to improve and Hydaelyn kept finding herself forestalling their reincarnations little by little each time as a way to spare them of further grief. The worst was during the 3rd Era on the Source when Ammut (Surkie) and Macchi (Ysayle) were horrifically murdered by Ammut's on brother, Amon. The rage that carried over even in death had Venat keep their souls with her for three-thousand years until the aetherial sea swept them from her to reincarnate as Surkukteni and Ysayle. Weakened as she was, Venat did what she could to try and protect the two of them - which is why both have her traveler's mark - but she could only do so much. This is the first cycle in which both reincarnations of her lovers are aware of her existence, yet it's so distant and she can feel the animosity rolling off of Surkukteni over the idea of having someone deign to lord over her life's course.

Endwalker is when Surkie does ease up a lot on Hydaelyn as the reality of her growing weaker begins to hit her. The lack of contact, the lack of action - no shit she hasn't intervened, she's basically dying. And it only really hits her when Hydaelyn intervenes during Garlemald (i altered that one 83 instance, its very different now) to keep Surkie's daughter, Yukiko, alive. Surkie only just managed to get to her daughter in time before Hydaelyn's intervention wavered, having exerted too much energy. She goes totally silent then, and it's only then that Surkie begins to regret much of what she's said about and to Hydaelyn upon realizing the direness of the matter.

While much of her perspective is changed during Endwalker (especially during Elpis and getting to properly meet Venat), this relationship is only built after Endwalker once everything has been secured and they can take a godsdamned break. During Endwalker, Surkie managed to save Venat by collecting her tattered soul after their final battle into a white auracite - something that she left with Nidhana as she didn't want to risk hurting Venat while traveling, especially when they had to go to Ultima Thule. During the recovery period of 6.0-6.1, it's with the help of Gwendoline (another wol, she's below) and Nidhana that Venat has a vessel built for her in the same vein as the older Varshahn vessel - but whereas both Varshahns are more puppets for the sake of observation and function, Venat's was designed to be as realistic and livable as possible. And so Venat spends 6.X effectively relearning how to be mortal, getting used to her new body, seeing what she can of the star she so diligently protected, and slowly building up new relationships with the inheritors of her lovers' souls. They're officially together at the start of 6.2, Venat ends up joining everyone during 6.4 when Ysayle has to dip out because she and Surkie fucked up gg guys, and she lives in the Borel manor now since she doesn't really have anywhere else - which also was Aymeric's idea by the way, he's more than fine with company and especially if said company is the lover of two of his fiances.

Venat's also with Gwendoline and I'm thinking maybe Y'shtola? But I'm still trying to decide on it. But a definite is that Surkie-Gwen-Venat and Surkie-Venat-Ysayle are all absolutely a thing.

And yeah, Surkie is with Gwendoline because it's a really cute dynamic of these two knowing each other for 7 years and this just really sweet slowly building dynamic of really really good friends turned into really close lovers. They got together after Endwalker and have been inseparable.

So, speaking of Gwen:

I only really have gposes of one of Gwen's relationships, and that's with Zero. But like Surkie, she's very polyamorous and has a lot of fun relationships.

So like as just a thing to point out, Gwen's a demisexual femme lesbian and is very married to her work. In spite of all of this, she has managed to end up with Y'shtola, Nidhana, Venat, Surkukteni, and Zero. The dynamics are Gwendoline-Y'shtola-Nidhana, Gwendoline-Y'shtola-Zero, Gwendoline-Surkukteni-Venat, and she's been in this mess since ARR.

Gwen began to catch feelings for Surkie mid-to-late ARR, which was also when she was beginning to grow fond of Y'shtola. But that led to her sitting there going "do I find them very good friends, or do I actually like them" and wound up trapped in a state of indecision of what to do - like, should she act on either? Bloody banquet happens, Y'shtola's gone. Hvw happens, Surkie is very obviously into Ysayle. Gwen is regretting a lot of things, but she's trying to support Surkie regardless of what happens. It's really rough for her through most of hvw - especially since she's dodging (accurate) accusations of necromancy - but things do ease up when they managed to find Y'shtola. The two are very close over shared research fields, curiosity, humor etc., but Y'shtola's recklessness managed to scare Gwendoline so badly that she ended up confessing soon after getting her back out of the fear she'd lose her again so suddenly. It's...rocky, especially because of trying to help Y'shtola now that she's blind, but they have a very strong foundation for a very long lasting relationship. ...Little does Gwen know that her feelings for Surkie were reciprocated and Surkie was beating herself up over a missed opportunity, but then what fun would it be? :)

Gwen spends the next four years dealing with a horrifically messed up Surkukteni, someone she deeply loves who is going through it after the perceived death of Ysayle. Worse, Gwendoline is one of the people who worked to keep Ysayle alive - she knows better, she knows that Ysayle is alive, but she can't tell Surkie just yet due to the danger of drawing attention to a weakened Lady Iceheart when the Garleans were already really agitated by the Warriors of Light. She feels fkn awful about lying to Surkie, but she doesn't see it as something that could help by telling her; first it was because she was unsure that Ysayle would pull through, then she didn't want to draw attention that could get Ysayle killed and have it be on Surkie's hands, then everything was too chaotic to have the time to do so, and then they were on the First and on a time limit. And all the while, Gwen had to watch someone she loved deteriorate. It hurt! A lot! Even more so when Y'shtola disappeared because of shb, and then everything with the Light that threatened to destroy Surkie.

Lot of helpless feelings in this. Lot of Gwendoline having to swallow feelings because nothing felt appropriate to admit. Things were finally calm and maybe she could say something----and Surkie's settling into a relationship and expecting twins. Gwen swore she was going to go insane.

Through the course of enw, Gwen builds up a lot of rapport with Nidhana - and similarly, so does Y'shtola. So yeah, admittedly even if it takes Gwen a bit to properly catch feelings for Nidhana, she does use this as a distraction to see if she can ignore the feelings for Surkie that have only grown more intense with time. She does love Nidhana dearly, don't misunderstand; but she was pursuing what distractions she could to no avail.

Elpis is a fun section, for the sole reason that it gets to Gwen bad. She likes to say she's only immediately fallen for someone once and it was such an intense and overwhelming feeling that she prays it never happens again. .......Yeah it happens a second time, and it's Venat dropping down from the sky and cleaving a shark in two. Gwen is in a state of things, she's extremely flustered, and she doesn't know what to do with herself because this is Hydaelyn. From a past that no longer exists. Y'shtola thinks it's the funniest fucking thing, but Gwen is Suffering.

Ultima Thule isn't any better. Having lost so many allies to this bizarre reality - and mind you, Estinien and Ysayle disappear at the same time - Surkukteni's not in a good headspace whatsoever. It's down to her, the Leveilleur twins, and Gwendoline. She's desperately trying to keep things together but she's on the verge of falling apart. Worse when it's those three's turn to sacrifice themselves and Gwen steps out of the group to be painfully honest in a way she's never allowed herself to be. She admits the feelings she's been harboring for the past seven years, admitting to her reasons for not saying anything, mentioning Surkukteni needn't reciprocate since all is falling apart...she just needed to get it off her chest. She seals it off with kissing a stunned Surkie before getting swept off by Meteion with the Leveilleur twins, leaving Surkie alone and distraught.

When she manages to bring everyone back for the final push into the Dead Ends, Gwendoline is having a brief Moment realizing that Y'shtola's mad plan actually worked - meaning those weren't her last words and that wasn't her last action. Surkie is, understandably, smothering the two fiances that came with them and reaming them out for being self sacrificial assholes, but it's not long before she turns on Gwen who didn't let her answer. And wouldn't you have it, Surkie grab's Gwen and drags her down to kiss her silly and asks her to put things on pause so they can talk about it when things are done.

.........and then surkie does a self sacrificial thing that gets her yelled at by p much everyone, but it's deserved.

Gwen and Surkie make things official during the recovery period of Endwalker, which also is when Gwen starts work on Venat's body. She knows she's gonna have to confront someone who managed to get her attention immediately, but she wasn't expecting Venat to be so patient and kind with her - just makes the feelings worse. It's over the course of Venat's recovery and adjustment that the two end up falling for each other and get together, which just so happens to be when the Void stuff starts up and Gwen gets to meet Zero.

patch complicated things, so I'm just going to talk as if this is up to 6.4. Gwen didn't trust Zero at first seeing as this was Zenos' voidsent - and she has every right to be wary. She was very standoffish and didn't understand why the others - especially Y'shtola! - were giving her the benefit of the doubt, and did everything in her power to remain cordial and not let venom slip through. Gwen's gut feeling has saved their asses on many an occasion, but she was off with this one by a bit: had Zero remained as they'd met her, then she'd've been right. But Zero's growth countered that gut feeling and allowed them to warm up to each other. ...Very slowly. What's funny is that Surkie and Gwen had opposite reactions with Zero. While Surkie was willing to give her a chance at the start - trusting the story of being used by Zenos and wanting to help her - the two became a bit awkward with each other not because of anything serious; no it's literally just they're basically pointing mirrors at one another and it makes Surkie v uncomfortable lmAO It's nothing against Zero, she just doesn't like being called out. Gwen, on the other hand, warmed up to Zero and managed to get through to her in part due to her experience dealing with Surkie. I also have a fic for these two, it's really cute I adore it, and I'm going to have to...do a bit more planning with them.

Lastly, we got the token monogamists:

Altan is Surkie's little sister (half sister specifically), and W'khittri is her girlfriend. Both have been on the team since mid-to-late ARR and have specifically been friendly with one another since post ARR. W'khittri is a fair amount older and more experienced than Altan (11 year difference), but it's less of a power imbalance and more W'khittri picking up on Altan's interest and trying to get her to act and be more confident in herself. Altan's a baby butch lesbian who's still trying to figure herself out (especially ARR-STB), while W'khittri is a bi trans woman who lost her long-term partner to the Garleans. So it's a lot of fostering Altan's curiosity and desire to experiment with her gender presentation, and being a resource for her whenever she needs it. Altan's agency isn't encroached upon whatsoever, she's closer to 20 when the two end up together, and much of what they do is on Altan's terms based on her comfort as she figures herself out.

They're honestly a really sweet couple, especially as they do what they can to support each other. Stormblood is A Trip, seeing as W'khittri has to deal with constant reminders of the destruction of the W Tribe and the deaths of her partner and father. The only family W'khittri has left is her daughter, W'leinshi (who's like 5 in arr, so a preteen in enw), and Altan is constantly doing everything in her power to do right by this kid. Altan and W'khittri are a solid team as Scions, and eventually become inseparable in their personal lives. When Surkie approaches Altan to take over many of her responsibilities as the Warrior of Light while she's on the First, W'khittri is quick to back her up much like how Altan helped W'khittri gain closure for her tribe's massacre.

Unfortunately it's not all happy. While yeah, I still stand by that their relationship remains really sweet, things get messy when Altan is betrayed by Misija and loses both of her arms. This relegates Altan to a non-combative role, with W'khittri having to step down as well to take care of Altan. Even though Altan isn't mad at W'khittri for what happened, it still frustrates her that she's so immediately helpless after the injury and it really fucks with her head. Worse is when she realizes that she can't do a lot for herself, but one thing that she voices and causes her to break down was she "can't hold W'leinshi anymore" and won't be able to properly hold her niece and nephew without fear of hurting them with her initial prosthetics. And honestly it takes W'khittri by surprise because she was expecting something to do with her mobility, her ability to fight, to stay as a Scion - not if she'd be able to hug her girlfriend's daughter, or hold her sister's children without hurting either of them. It spurs W'khittri to do what she can to help Altan bounce back and try to make sure her spirit isn't too crushed by all that happened, but it does mean that they're not involved in enw save for helping Aymeric take care of the Engaged Quad's kids while the other three are trying to stop the Final Days.

Both are back as of 6.X and tighter than ever. Altan's about...26 at this point? A lot more confident in herself and her relationship with W'khittri, and the two have been together for so long that she's genuinely thinking about proposing but she wants to figure out how to do so in a way that'd work within the W Tribe's customs.

There's a lot more that I have. Like Seraphin and Teodore (ocs) who are part of the og WoL group, there's Katsuro/Thancred/Urianger and probably G'raha maybe idk (+Katsuro's grand fuckup with two different Ascians), Melisande and Yotsuyu who are Very Very fun (Mellie also had a past thing with Laniaitte), Zirnghota and Athanasia (ocs), Iolaine and Odin (oc + friend oc, but actually it's Urth and Odin and odin's a LESBIAN), Lillith and Avian (another oc + friend oc thats been a thing for years now - i love @/lcvnderhazed so much), Krystsyng and Misaki (ocs, Misaki is Surkie's abusive ex), Saoirse and Cylva (which is fun >:3c), Philomene and Saoirse (ocs), Ammut and Macchi (ocs), Ammut and Bahamut (ya i said what i said), Macchi and Tiamat - which then also extends into Ysayle and Tiamat, and even a bunch of past relationships/flings like with Surkie and Cylva .o.

I just think that this is all v neat and fun

WoL/OC Question(s)!

This one goes out to the WoLshippers! Who do you ship your WoL/OC with? An NPC or another WoL/OC? How did they meet, and how long have they been together? What kind of relationship do they have?

Show me your favorite SFW gpose/art of them together!

[desireatmidnight]

Setting Realistic Goals for your own self-sabotaging Brain

yes, I am starting my first original post like this. yes I know it is kinda cliche for someone to talk about setting goals but this is gonna be different!

Just for some background, Ive been keeping a bullet-journal for at least 4 years. I have never since successfully used a monthly spread in a way that felt like I had actually used it. I am a college student now, so I have allot more things on my plate and a whole lot more free-time interspersed between them. I also have tried out a whole bunch of different spreads. All of them have mostly failed to be really used in a way that mattered. Either I forgot about the spread entirely whenever I got too stressed out, or I never gave myself the right tools to use on the spread for fixing those stresses

So instead of just thinking about what was going wrong and looking for a different spread to try and magically solve my problems; I decided to actually write down what those problems were. Took on of my one of a million copies blue Bic pens that I got as a present ( IE. a disposable non fancy pen) and a scrap piece of paper and started dumping all the reasons I couldn't use it.

Looking through those reasons I could then pinpoint the root cause to my problems, the thing that killed my spreads as soon as I finished making them.

Outside of events scheduled in the future, I had no real reason to use the spread or check it.

See, all of my habit trackers migrated in my weekly spreads around year two of having a bullet journal. I’ve been stuck in a sort of ‘ survive this week’ mode for a long time, so everything I do revolves around my weekly spreads. It was just natural to only track my small habits, like eating twice a day, on my weekly. But that just meant there was nothing left for my monthly spreads. Re-tracking my small habits did nothing for me on a long scale.

So it made me look into how to make this monthly spread more accessible for me, and if it couldn't become accessible, what would replace it’s space and limited functionality.

This is where I go into the meat of why I am making this post, goal tracking is one of the perfect things to track on a monthly spread. Problem being, I have a really hard time setting attainable, do-able goals that work with me versus against me.

So how do I set those goals? By tossing almost everything everyone else had to say about setting goals. Smart random acronyms don't help me identify what goals i need, what does help? Looking for the laughably, smallest achievements I could do in a single day.

Read 5 pages, only 5 pages, a day. Write 200 words a day of anything at all, keep a duolingo streak through the lowest possible daily goal setting.

because guess what, if you do that. If you manage to laugh your way through those 5 pages of whatever book, it doesn't matter what book. those 200 words, even if it is all pre-planning for future writing or just dialogue-outlining? just keeping up with your duolingo streak by doing one lesson a day?

You’ll have read 150-155 pages, written 6000 words, and completed 30-31 lessons in just a month.

None of these tiny goals are difficult to muster. The worst for me is the 200 words. 5 pages is a 10-20 minute task you can do while eating a meal, a duolingo streak you can do walking down the sidewalk between classes.

Easy achievements every day are your bread and butter.

From there you can work outwards, breaking larger chunks of what you want to do into the most insignificant steps possible. Even if that step is “ I got out of bed today” That is still an accomplishment, and achievement, something you have done to make your next step.

Work with yourself, not against. And if something doesnt work, dont get upset, just look at why.

Were you too busy to write 200 words a day? Try 50. Try 25.

[marvelslut16]

Oh baby

Prompt number: 18 "I don't think this is your problem."

Fandom: IT

Pairing: Richie Tozier x reader (aged up to 17 or 18)

Rating: 18+

Word count: 3.4k

Warnings: Swearing. Teen pregnancy. Mentions of attempted forced abortions. Some angst. Abusive parents. Fluffy in the end.

A/N: This has literally been in my drafts since 2020, and I finally finished it for fictober this year. It is my baby, please be kind to it, I love it so much. The main reason I haven't finished it till now was I was scared people would hate it. The only adulty looking gifs I could find of Finn were from season 4 of ST, whoops. Also, Richie would totally have that hair.

Richie Tozier was undoubtedly the love of your life, the problem being that you two are only in a friends with benefits relationship. It all started one night when the losers were getting drunk in the barrens in celebration of all of you passing your junior year finals, Richie and you snuck out to see the stars and one thing led to another. And the next thing you knew you were pressed up against a tree, denim shorts and cotton undies discarded a foot away, and Richie was thrusting into you. Your drunk inhibitions had been so addicting that you’ve fucked multiple times a week almost every week for the past year. You’ve kept it a secret from you friends, but the looks Bev gives you two makes it fairly obvious that she’s caught on. 

Your friends with benefits relationship had been going great up until recently, when you made the worst mistake of your life. In the heat of the moment you told him those three words you had kept bottled up since that summer with Pennywise, I love you. If Richie understood what you said right away, he didn’t show it. It took him until after he was done for your words to register in his brain, and he immediately got dressed and left in an awkward huff. There was the occasional cuddle afterwards, but usually you’d just go to the living room and play your Atari, or go play street fighters at the arcade. But this time he left with a non comitial ‘see you later,’ and you immediately knew you fucked up. 

The next day at school Richie pretty much ignored you, unless he had to make conversation with you to hide that anything was out of the ordinary to the losers; gone were the flirty comments he would send your way during lunch, and the arm wrapped around your shoulder as you walked from class to class. When Richie went as far as to flirt with a girl in history class you felt a sickness wash over you, it was so intense that you had to rush out of the class and through the halls to make it to the girls bathroom before your lunch came rushing out of you. Your teacher had sent Bev to come collect you, since you had left without a pass, but instead she took you to the nurse and you had to go home early. 

You and your parents had brushed it off as some bad cafeteria food, nothing to worry about. But when you woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon and your stomach started to churn, you knew something more serious was wrong. You spent that day and the rest of the weekend barely leaving your bed, and getting fairly used to the churning in your gut from certain smells. All of a sudden your favorite foods smelled down right nauseating, but you chalked it up to a change in your tastes. Or at least that’s what you told yourself. And when you missed your period two weeks later you told yourself it was just stress from your upcoming graduation and the fall out with Richie.

Your mother figured out your missing periods after your second month. She had come into your bathroom to check your pad supply while making a list of things the maid needed to pick up at the store, at first she was confused that the package of pads was still unopened; but your peckish eating, on and off nausea, and being in a constant state of irritation started to click into place as she realized you were pregnant. You weren’t expecting her to be understanding when she learned the news, but you didn’t expect her to rip you a new asshole. 

“What were you thinking?” your mom storms into your room, unopened box of pads in hand. 

“What are you talking about?” you feign ignorance, subconsciously moving a pillow to rest on your lap to hide your still unshowing belly. 

“You’re irritated, you don’t want to eat what’s for dinner, instead wanting weird concoctions of food, and your pads from two months ago are still unopened!” she throws the box to her right, it smashes into your wall, box opening and pads come tumbling out. “You got yourself knocked up! God, (Y/N), I didn’t think you were this fucking stupid!” 

“I’m just stressed!” you feel anxious tears start to pool in your eyes, you just need to get through the next month and you can leave Derry. Then you can have the kid in New York and your parents would be none the wiser. 

“Bullshit! You stopped drinking coffee,” your mom laughs humorlessly. “I should have known then. What the fuck were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t!” you cry out, letting the tears you had been holding in for the past two months finally spill. 

“You’re right, you weren’t thinking! Just wait till your father hears about this-” your heart rate spikes at the mention of your father. 

“We don’t have to tell him,” you scramble off the bed and rush to your mother's side, grabbing her hand to try and get her to empathize with you. 

“Don’t tell him?” she lets out a manic laugh, ripping her hand from yours like you’ll taint her somehow. “He’s the goddamn mayor, this will kill his reelection campaign. You’re so fucking niave and self centered (Y/N).”

“I’ll be in New York soon, no one has to know!” your voice goes up an octave, voice rising higher as your desperation grows. 

“You really think I trust you enough to go to New York? Now?” she cocks her head to the side, giving you a calculating look. “You’re not leaving this house until we get this taken care of, and after graduation you’ll be staying in Derry so I can keep my eye on my perfect, innocent, daughter.”

“You can’t do that!” you cry out, taking steps away from your mother. “I’m an adult, I can decide what I do!”

“And look where that got you, knocked up by some deadbeat at eighteen,” your mom gestures to the empty space beside you. “He’s not here right now, he won’t help you take care of a baby. You’ll thank me one day.”

She slams the door to your room behind her as she leaves, you can hear the lock sliding into place. Your parents hadn’t used the lock since you were a child. They used to lock you in your room if the Governor was visiting, or if you got in trouble and your mother had to keep you contained until your father returned home. Walking to the window you assess the distance between your second floor window and the ground below. Coming to the conclusion that it is, in fact, not worth possibly hurting your baby in order to get away from your parents. 

The polaroids of you and Richie tacked to the wall above your desk seem to mock you. Your mom's right, no matter how many plans you made of leaving Derry together, he doesn’t want you. And he sure as hell won’t want the responsibility of the baby growing inside of you. Your eyes land on a picture you took of Richie right after you had made some joke about Eddie’s mom; Richie’s head is thrown back, mouth wide open in laughter, and curls blowing in the wind. Richie may not want you nor your baby, but you aren’t going to deprive the world of another Tozier, a tiny little Richie.

You're so engrossed in studying the picture of Richie that you don’t hear your door being thrown open until it’s too late to block it. There in your doorway is your father; panting, red faced, and steam practically coming out of his ears. If only the people of Derry could see their precious Mayor now, ready to attack his pregnant daughter because it’s bad for his image. He storms up to you, grabbing your arm gruffly, and pushing you into the wall behind you.

“Who’s the fucker that got my idiot daughter knocked up?” he screams, his face so close to yours that his spit is landing on yours. When you don’t respond to his question, he moves his hand from your wrist and grabs both of your shoulders, pulling you forward just to slam you back into the wall. “Answer me you ungrateful bitch!”

“No!” you scream back, kicking your father in the shin as hard as you can. 

“You’re going to fucking regret that,” he shoves you one last time before slightly limping out of the room. 

As soon as he’s gone, you slide down the wall and curl into a fetal position on the ground. Laying in front of you is a polaroid that Bev took of you and Richie one day at the quarry last summer; it was shortly after the two of you had stared hooking up, Richie’s standing behind you, arms wrapped around you, he’s sopping wet from just getting out of the water and you’re almost completely dry, having arrived late from some political lunchin, your white sundress turning transparent from his wet body. Life was a hell of a lot simpler then, and then you had Richie to talk to when your parents were being grade A assholes. 

You spent hours curled up on the floor, or at least that’s what you think because the sun had gone from shining into your room to below the horizon. Your parents never came and got you for dinner, leaving you locked up in your room as they ate the food the chef had prepared. You wait until you hear your father leave his study and head to your parents room before you move from your spot. Immediately moving to your red landline sitting atop your desk, sighing in relief when you hear the dial tone. You start to dial Richie’s number out of habit, before catching yourself and switching to Bev’s. You mutter pleas for her to answer the phone as you type in the extension to the phone in her room. 

“Hello?” Bev sounds half asleep, you probably woke her after she fell asleep doing her homework again. 

“Bev,” your voice cracks as a sob starts to bubble in your chest. 

“(Y/N),” you can hear her shuffling to a seated position, adjusting upon hearing the desperation and fear in your voice. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

“I'm pregnant, Bev” you rush out, glad that you’re finally getting it off your chest to someone you trust. 

“Oh my God,” she murmurs. “Is the father who I think it is?”

“Yes,” you sigh, knowing she means Richie. “My parents found out today, they’re trying to force me to get rid of the baby as soon as possible.” 

“I won’t let anything happen to either of you,” she promises, and you wish you could believe her. 

“I have to go,” you whisper, footsteps getting close to your door. You quickly and quietly hang up the phone, hiding it beneath your desk, hopefully your parents forgot you have your own line. You quickly hop in bed, covering your body to your chin and pretending to be asleep. Light from the hall floods in as your father opens the door, but you make an effort to keep up your sleeping ruse. 

“Don’t worry, everything will be fixed tomorrow morning,” he quietly shuts the door behind him. Tears start to fall as soon as he shuts the door, how can he force you to do this when it isn’t what you want?  

You don’t remember falling asleep, you must have cried yourself to the brink of exhaustion. So you’re more than startled to wake up to yelling downstairs, the voices are muffled but you can clearly make out your father’s voice yelling at someone to get out of his house. You jump out of bed and immediately run to the window to see if there’s a car on the driveway, and there is. You know it’s Richie’s with one glance, the 1975 Mustang Cobra that you helped him rebuild a few summers ago, and leaning against his car is Bev who is looking straight up at your window. 

You run for the door the moment you hear a crash downstairs, hoping that your father forgot to lock the door the last time he checked on you. Luckily he didn’t, so you pull the door open and run down the stairs two at a time. At the bottom of the stairs are shards of what used to be the priceless glass vase that was atop the hutch next to where your father is standing.

“Let me see (Y/N),” Richie’s voice is far more demanding and forceful than he’s ever used with your father, knowing he was the one adult that could really get him in trouble. 

“She’s not here, she was throwing up all yesterday so we took her to the hospital last night,” your father lies effortlessly, using the same inflection that he does when he promises the people of Derry changes he can never provide. “She was dehydrated so they kept her overnight, she should be back in a day or two.” 

“I don’t believe a god damn word that comes out of your mouth,” Richie seethes, his anger only continuing to grow when he catches sight of you on the stairs. “(Y/N), go pack a bag, we’re getting out of here.” 

“I don’t think this is your problem, kid,” your fathers voice is cold and calculating, and you're frozen on the bottom step. you want to listen to Richie and follow him like you’ve always dreamed of, the future could be your oyster, but you also know that your dad has the sheriff in his pocket and could make sure Richie is arrested and sent away for a long time. “Leave while you still can.”

“Like hell it isn’t my problem!” Richie shouts, his Chuck’s crushing the glass into a fine powder as he walks over to you.  “She’s pregnant with my child!”

“You fucker!” spit flies out of your fathers mouth as he screams at Richie, he’s taking large menacing steps towards your lover, so you do the only logical thing, grab Richie’s arm and yank him up onto the stairs, standing in front of him so he doesn’t get punched. “You did this to her?”

“Stop it!” you scream, as your father tries to reach around you to grab Richie. 

Egged on by your father, Richie tries to step around you to throw a punch, turning him around, you push him up the stairs and towards your room. You slam the door behind you, pulling your gaudy pink suitcase- which is covered in stickers from all the places you’ve visited with your parents- out of your closet and start stuffing it with clothes, knick knacks from your dead grandmother, and the polaroids of your friends that adorn your wall. You're closing the suitcase and Richie is shoving more shit in your backpack when your father throws your bedroom door open, his face scrunched up in anger and you can practically see steam billowing out of his ears. 

“You aren’t going anywhere,” he grabs your wrist, nails digging sharply into your skin and creating crescent shaped indents. 

“I’ll tell everyone,” you level with him, it’s a low blow but you know it’ll work. “My indiscretion will hinder your chances of winning reelection, why would people vote for a Mayor who can’t even control his own kid? It’s blasphemous.”

“What do you want?” he asks through gritted teeth, it’s his way of giving into your demands without openly admitting it. 

“Let us go. I’ll stay with Bev or Richie until we graduate, you’ll show up to graduation like the good father you pretend to be. And then I’ll be out of Derry, out of Maine, by the end of summer, long before anyone could notice my pregnancy.”   

He doesn’t respond, not with words at least, instead he steps out of my doorway and lets Richie and I walk past and down the stairs. Neither he nor your mother say anything as you open the front door, not that you’re all that surprised because you're a disgrace in their eyes. They just let the door shut behind you and Richie, and you damn well that you’ll never see them again after graduation. Your heart hurts that they’ll never meet their grandchild, but you're also thankful that your child will never know the conniving abusive ways of your parents.  

Bev runs up to you as you walk down the stone steps of the Mayor’s house, the only home you’ve ever known, and immediately pulls you into a gentle hug. The moment her arms wrap around you you break down, your parents really let you leave, they really don’t care about you, and you have nowhere to go. She keeps her arms wrapped around you as she directs you towards Richie’s stang, she notices your parents matching glares from the living room window. Richie takes your bags and shoves them into the trunk, while Bev climbs into the back of the car, and you begrudgingly take the seat next to Richie. 

The drive to Bev’s is awkwardly silent, except for your occasional sniffles. None of you knows what to say, the last thing any of you ever thought would happen just did; the Mayor’s perfect little Angel got knocked up by the town’s trashmouth, and consequently kicked out. Or as close to being kicked out as one can get. Upon arriving at Bev’s apartment, Richie gets out and lets her climb out that way, with one last encouraging smile she leaves you alone with the father to your child- you’re former friend and fuck buddy. 

“Where am I supposed to go?” you finally ask after fifteen minutes of him driving around in circles. 

“Back home with me,” you can practically hear the duh he added in his head. 

“You don’t have to do that,” you sigh, imagining what his parents' reaction would be to your current situation. “Could you just drive me to Augusta? I’ll find a woman’s shelter there or something.” 

“No!” Richie slams on the breaks, pulling onto the shoulder. Dirt flying everywhere at the force of his abrupt break. “Like I’m gonna fuking let you go anywhere without me toots.”

“Why wouldn’t you?” you bite back, months of anger finally being able to be taken out on the one who’s been causing you all of your hurt. “You don’t give a shit about me, you made that very clear.”

“OH for fuck’s sak, of course I give a shit about you,” he grabs your face with both of his hands, turning it to look at him. “I got scared, so damn scared. I didn’t want to fuck it up with you and lose you. Then you told me you loved me and I got scared, cause I’m a fuck up and I didn’t want to drag you down with me.”

“You aren’t a fuck up, Richie,” you sigh, your anger dissapating at the genuine emotion swimming in his eyes. “But what you did hurt me. You left me high and dry, and pregnant. I didn’t know what to do, I was so scared and the only person I wanted to talk to was ignoring me.”

“I’m so sorry,” he leans forward, resting his forehead on yours. “I wish I had worked up the nerve to tell you I love you that day, instead of running away like some damn pansy. ‘Cause I fuckin’ love you toots.”

“You do?” your hormones forcing a sob out of you at his confession.  

“I do, and I can’t wait to have this baby with you,” his right hand lets go of your face, moving to gently touch your belly. “I just hope they have your eyesight.” 

“I hope they have your gorgeous brown eyes and your big ol’ lips,” you giggle, and Richie can’t help but bark out a laugh. “I love you Richie, with all my heart.”

“Not half as much as I love you,” his left hand moves from your cheek to the back of your head, pulling you in for a long awaited kiss. When his lips slot perfectly with yours, you really feel like the two of you can make this work.

[atombonniebaby]

(Dang...this has been sitting in my drafts! whoops!) Aww this is so sweet! Thank you the the lovely @sassenashsworld for tagging me ❤️

Passing on the love to the next 10: @fallout-new-mudkip @adventuresofmeghatron @druidgroves @just-another-wasteland-merc @maccreadysbaby @bluegrasskitty @danses-with-dogmeat @perfectlypreservedpie @theartofblossoming @thegoblinwitchqueen

As an AuADHD gal... Fallout 4 (ok specifically MacCadoodle) is absolutely my hyperfixation so guys just make my brain buzzzzzz 🙌🏻

I'm still relatively new on here (previously named Neurodivergent Dweller) I came from AO3 to follow my favorite Sole Survivor x MacCready writers back in January and found so much more!

Somewhere around my high school years I stopped drawing and writing and you guys somehow helped me find that again... I'm 31 now... It's been a while!

It's been a blast so far, establishing Beth and her dynamic with Mac...

He's clearly thrilled 🤣

Send this to 10 other bloggers that you think are wonderful. Keep the game going, make someone smile!!

To @badastronaut27 @lightthatwontfade @starshineandbooks @baddieladdie @house-arismith @sassenashsworld @jackiegaytona @whatanightmaregrinch @cosmicclairea

You guys and the rest of my followers are amazing 🙌🙌🙌

[chayscribbles]

chayscribbles’ monthly writing update ☆ november 2022

☆ STATISTICS.

words written: 9835 drafting; 17606 redrafting/editing

projects worked on: Andromeda Rogue, Andromeda Rising

proudest accomplishment: i published my first art zine! oh and finishing the first draft of AR3 is also a thing that happened

books read: Memoria by Kristyn Merbeth; Cinder by Marissa Meyer, A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine

☆ GENERAL COMMENTS.

(book comments first: Memoria (the sequel to Fortuna, which i read a few weeks ago) was MUCH better imo than the first, 4.5 stars. Cinder was very enjoyable but i do feel like i am simply getting too old for YA and would have liked it better if i had read it a few years ago, 4 stars. A Memory certainly wasn't bad, but in the end it fell a bit flat for me, 3 stars.)

this month has been Very Weird. within the span of like 3 days a lot of things happened, including finishing AR3 and other Personal Stuff that resulted in me suddenly having a lot of free time on my hands that i did not know what to do with. but everything ended up working out! and a lot of that free time went to working on my wip.

i had thought that after finishing AR3 i'd work on one of my lower-effort sidewips, or work on other hobbies like drawing, but the motivation for those things just... didn't manifest itself? (also the Secret Space WIP, has become bigger than i thought it would, and i felt it would require more commitment than i am currently willing to give it)

anyways i just ended up going right back to AR kjdfgkjfds whoops

more specific wip-related comments + featured excerpt below.

☆ COMMENTS: ANDROMEDA RISING (finishing the draft)

did i really finish this draft this month? it feels like forever ago jkfdjk

so my unofficial NaNo goal was to finish AR3. i had originally estimated it would take 15k, and then adjusted it to 10k. i didn't quite make the 10k either but i DID finish the draft, so that's still a win. to me.

this draft turned out way shorter than i had hoped... and there's a LOT that needs to be fixed, and i'm not completely satisfied with how it turned out. but i really was at the point where i had to just get through it to call it done otherwise i never would, so thank fuck that's over with.

(trying not to think about how much needs to be fixed yet. gritting my teeth.)

☆ COMMENTS: ANDROMEDA ROGUE (draft... 2!!!!)

so i had this whole plan of letting the entire series rest, then rereading, reoutlining, reworking some plot, character and worldbuilding stuff, and only starting draft 2 in 2023... and then i got impatient lmao.

i was somewhere in the reoutlining stage about a week after finishing AR3 when i realized it felt like i was wasting my time. not much of the main structure of this book is gonna change, so i was pretty much just rewriting the exact same outline i already had. (i plantsed through draft 1 but made a reverse outline as i was writing.) most of the changes are adding or changing certain details to scenes and no amount of planning was gonna help any more than just writing out the changes. so, on the 18th, i started draft 2.

(besides, it's not like i didn't let AR1 rest. i finished it in june 2021 after all.)

i also had a bunch of editing notes from when i was drafting, + stuff i thought about later while writing the sequels on how to better set things up, + notes taken during my reread. so i ended up just annotating the hell out of my first draft to show where i would add or change things, and then i put the old draft on one side of the screen and a new doc on the other side and started rewriting it to include the changes.

i've gone through about 5 chapters and added an epilogue so far! it's going pretty fast haha. i've already added over 2000 words just by fleshing things out a bit more, now that i know my characters and the world much better than when i started. it's SO much easier now that i have the entire series in front of me.

chapter 5 is where i've been slowed down as there is a considerable amount of stuff that needed to be rewritten completely-- it's quite exposition-heavy (it's the scene where Petra gets a rundown of her xenobotany mission), and when i first wrote it, i wasn't exactly sure where i was going with the story. and even though i now have a fuller picture in front of me, it's always hard to write an exposition-heavy chapter and include everything that needs to be said without making it drag. not to mention, foreshadowing and setting things up appropriately.

right now, i'm taking a quick break from redrafting to iron out some of the political backdrop of the story. not only did i need to rest after wrestling with chapter 5, but i was disappointed reading A Memory Called Empire, which was supposed to be a political intrigue, and it was one heck of a motivator to try to make the politics in my book better haha.

☆ FEATURED EXCERPT.

very short passage i added to AR1 to further demonstrate how much of a nerd Petra really is.

“Petra,” Dr. Derosy said, “you did your thesis on vitaplants. Would you mind giving us a brief definition?” Petra coughed and sat up straighter in her chair. “Vitaplants are a category of plants that boost the growth and health of other living organisms around them, specifically through the emission of vitawaves," she said. "Vitaplants have been found to have evolved independently on multiple planets around the sector and are not confined to a single genus, which has confounded taxonomists—"

“Thank you, Petra. I did say brief.”

☆ TAGLISTS. let me know if you want to be added/removed to either.

general taglist:

@nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @stormharbors @quilloftheclouds @ashen-crest @writeblrfantasy @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @extra-magichours @avi-why @lefttigerobservation @chazzawrites @bardolatrycore

andromeda trilogy taglist:

@bebewrites @nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @stormharbors @akindofmagictoo @quilloftheclouds @nora-theteawriter @ashen-crest @corpsepng @writeblrfantasy @toboldlywrite @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @cheerfulmelancholies @extra-magichours @writeouswriter @cilly-the-writer @lefttigerobservation @rose-bookblood @drowsy-quill @chazzawrites @cynic-and-chief @enchanted-lightning-aes @aesa

[procrastinatorimagines]

I Want Us Part 10 (Final)

Fandom: Chicago PD / SVU

Series: I Want Us

Part 1 //  Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9 // Part 10 (Final)

Pairing/s: Sonny Carisi x Intelligence!Reader

Warning/s: tw rape, murder, assault

Word Count: 2,222

Summary: The Intelligence Unit’s last case with Manhattan SVU had them flying out to New York to track down an abducted boy, and had Dectective Y/L/N and Detective Carisi growing close in the process. Now, a string of rape-murders in Chicago has SVU boarding the next flight out, believing the suspect to be the same man responsible for a set of identical crimes 10 years prior. As the case unfolds, Y/N and Carisi are brought back together, reigniting the spark between them.

A/N: Wow I found this sitting in my drafts unfinished after like 6 plus months, whoops, here you go

Tags: @the-baby-bookworm​ // @inlovewith3​ // @averyhotchner​

The case was pretty open shut when it came to the court side, though you’d been informed when it had been extradited to New York that he had pled insanity. 

From what you’d been told, Tate had been involved in a childhood accident his mother had caused, resulting in his scar and an axe to grind with women that looked like his mother, never able to become the handsome prince he’d always wanted that swooped in to save the day like he had wished someone would do for him.

It... didn’t erase what he had done, but at least it was over now.

Besides, you’d had more on your mind the past couple of days. Sitting with Burgess in the locker room as she explained what was going to happen to Tate next she noticed the distant look in your eyes as you sat on the bench.

“What gives?” She asked, nudging you from where she stood in front of her locker. You looked up, coming back to reality, your mind still racing. 

With a deep breath you knew there was going to be no fooling her, or dropping this until you said it out loud. But saying it out loud...

“Y/N,” Burgess perched on the other end of the bed, brow scrunched curiously as she waited for you to answer.

“I...” Moment of truth, you sat up straighter and swallowed hard, “I’m pregnant.”

“Wow,” Burgess blinked, mind connecting the dots, “Carisi?”

All you could do was nod.

“Does he know?” She asked tentatively, well away of the logistics. 

You shook your head, knowing you had to tell him but not knowing what would happen once you did, even saying it out loud right now made it more real than it had been since you took the pregnancy test. 

“Y/N...” She put her hand on your knee in comfort.

“I know, I know I do,” you ran your hands over your tired face, the weight of all this keeping you up for the past two nights, “but Chicago, New York... I mean, what would even happen?” The question was more to yourself than her, but you knew she’d always try and help when she could.

“I don’t know,” Burgess admitted, “but neither will you unless you call him.” She was right, obviously, but how would that conversation even go?

Trudy called down for her from the stairs and she stood, offering you one last should squeeze of encouragement and support. “Call him.” She turned to go but stopped and turned back, a small smile on her face, “and, for what it’s work, congratulations.”

Then she was gone, leaving you sitting alone, pondering your situation with one hand ghosting over your belly.

No Molly’s tonight, or for a long while, you resigned yourself to realising as you headed home. There would be no liquid courage to help you through this conversation.

Your finger had been hovering over the call button for longer than you wanted to admit, the fear building up inside of you the longer you stared at his name and number on screen. 

“Pull yourself together Y/N,” you chided yourself, “you just caught a serial killer and now you can’t even make a phone call?”

With one last breath you quickly pressed the button before you could talk yourself out of it again. putting it on speaker and placing it on the table in front of you, waiting in anticipation as it rang. He might not even be in, it might so straight to voice mail...

“Hey Y/N,” Carisi’s voice clicked over the other end of the line, “Y/N?” He repeated after a long pause.

“Hey,” you finally replied, your throat tight as you forced your mouth to work. 

He seemed to notice something in your voice when he answered. “Everything alright?” 

“Er...” God, hadn’t you rehearsed what you were going to say a hundred times in your mirror? Everything had gone out of your head except the words you were dreading to say, but they seemed to be the only ones you could think of: “I’m pregnant.”

You blurted it out, no disclaimer, no warning, no sugar coating... maybe you should have wrote this down, you thought as you waiting in the silence. You knew he was still there, just processing what you had told him.

“Oh,” he said finally, then grumbled something to himself that made you grin a little, knowing he was kicking himself for that profound reply. “I mean, I- oh, that’s...”

“It’s okay,” you interrupted him as he tripped over himself to find the right words, “I’m not expecting you to say some perfect thing, I’ve barely wrapped my head around it myself and I’ve had more than the few seconds you have.”

You waited for his reply to come, and waited, growing more anxious with the seconds. You were about to check if he was still there when he finally spoke again. “What now?”

“Honestly, I don’t know?” You closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose.

“I could come to Chicago,” he offered, causing your head to shoot up.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” you told him quickly.

“You’re not asking... I want to be there, and your hold life is in Chicago.” He said, and you could sense the conviction in his voice.

“Carisi we don’t have to decide anything right now, your whole life is in New York,” you replied, “let’s just think-” You head Olivia Benson’s voice cut through the background, calling Carisi’s name to get his attention.

“You have to go,” you guessed before he could say anything.

“Y/N-” He started but you cut him off.

“No, it’s okay, go, we’ll talk more later.” You promised and he resigned himself to agreeing as you hung up, alone in the silence of your apartment. 

What were you going to do?

First, food, then decisions. It was never good to make up your mind on an empty stomach. 

About an hour later you were sat back in front of your phone, thinking about everything you’d done in your life so far.

Intelligence was more than just your unit, they were your family, but these last few cases... you’d felt a sense of purpose, a pull, like you were doing what you’d always been meant to do. 

So, taking a deep breath, you dialled a number, and waited for Captain Olivia Benson to pick up.

She answered after a couple of long rings, “Benson.”

“Hi Captain Benson, it’s Detective Y/L/N, from Intelligence,” you identified yourself, butterflies in your stomach as your nerves built. 

“Y/N, hi, I’m glad to get your call,” she told you, her tone giving you pause. 

“...you know, don’t you?” You didn’t have to elaborate, you knew Carisi often confided in his Captain when something was on his mind.

“Yeah, yeah I do,” she admitted, something like sympathy and understanding in her voice, “congratulations, by the way, I know it must be a lot right now, how are you doing?”

“I’m... processing,” you said honestly, tucking your legs under yourself and resting your hand near your belly. “It’s actually, well partially, what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“I’m all ears,” she said, waiting for you to respond even though you figured she already knew where this was heading. Had Carisi told her about his plans to come to Chicago? Probably. 

Here went... everything. “I was just wondering, how serious were you about that change of scenery?” You asked, remembering what she’d said to you after your first case in New York what seemed like forever ago.

“Serious,” she swore, “truly, I know you might think I’m saying that so I don’t lose Carisi, but you have a real gift Y/N, and I’d love to have you on my team.”

Your throat caught, emotion and relief washing over you all of a sudden. Damn hormones.

“I know it’s a big decision,” she continued, “but I want you to know you have options, and time Y/N, whatever you decide, make sure it’s the right decision for you.”

“I will, thank you Captain Benson,” you said sincerely.

“Take care Y/N, keep in touch,” she added.

“I will, bye Captain.” You promised.

“Bye,” she hung up and you put your phone down, feeling more sure of your next move than you expected. 

Olivia was right though, you didn’t have to rush anything, you still had time. Besides, there were more conversations to be had here before you did anything. So, albeit hesitantly, you went and put on your shoes and coat, grabbing your keys on your way out. Better to rip the bandaid off now, next stop, 21st.

Voight was the only one in the office when you arrived, looking up from his desk when you arrived, each step you took from the top of the stairs to his door feeling heavier than the last.

“Sarge, you got a minute?” You asked, knocking on the open door.

He pushed away the paperwork and gestured for you to come in, sensing this was important. With a pause, you sat down and told him everything. 

You waited in excruciating silence for your Sergeant to speak, his facial expressions betraying no emotions, no hint of his reaction to your news as you sat on the edge of your seat, your whole body tense.

Finally, he leaned forward in his chair and spoke. “You know, I knew there was something special about you from the first day we met. You were a good cop, and I knew you had the makings of a great one, and I also knew I needed you in my unit when that happened.” He took a pause, collecting his thoughts as you tried to stop the tears welling up in your eyes. “It seems I wasn’t the only one, Benson called me after that case in New York, wondering if I’d be willing to part with you, she saw it too. If this is what you want...” 

“It is Sarge, it really is.” You swore, grateful and more than a little shocked that both of them held you in such high regard. 

“Then congratulations, on both accounts,” he told you with a smile and a nod, “New York is lucky to have you, and so is Carisi.” 

He stood and so did you, offering you his hand in a professional handshake as you rounded the desk and gave him a hug. Needless-to-say, he was caught off guard, but he eventually returned the gesture. 

You called Carisi as soon as you were back at your apartment, and after a bit of arguing about who should go where and do what, you finally persuade him. “Honestly, a change has been on my mind for a while,” you insisted.

“Y/N, are you sure? What happens when you get here?” He asked.

“I am,” you promised, “and as for what happens next, we’ll figure the rest out when I get there, together.”

After that, there was only one last big step to take: saying goodbye.

-

"Drinks are on the house,” Herrmann informed you with a grin as you reached the bar of Molly’s, the place packed as everyone you knew and loved milled around. 

“What’s the catch?” Cruz asked suspiciously, pausing mid pour to look at his friend like he’d gone mad.

“The catch,” you answered with an amused smile, “is that I can’t drink alcohol and he knows it.” 

Herrmann laughed, ignoring Cruz’s eye roll as he fetched you a lemonade.

The night went on full of laughs, stories, and more than a few tears, and then, at last, it was time for you to go.

“If you need anything, anything at all, you just call me, you hear?” Antonio insisted once he’d walked you to the cab and closed the trunk with your bags, taking your hands and squeezing them tight. You could feel your eyes welling with tears. You’d been green when you joined Intelligence, and you wouldn’t have gotten to where you were now without him by your side.

“You’ll always be my partner,” you told him, smirking as he did his best to pretend a tear didn’t slip down his cheek.

“Damn straight,” he replied, pulling you in for one last bear hug. After a moment he let you go, clearing his throat as he tried to compose himself, “now get out here, you have a plane to catch.”

You nodded; it was time. Taking a slow, deep breath you wiped your eyes, glancing back to the cab waiting patiently to take you to the start of the next chapter of your life. 

“Bye Antonio,” you said. 

“Bye Y/N,” Antonio smiled, nodding as if to say you could go, they’d be okay. 

Turning you opened the door, taking one last look past your partner to Molly’s, the sounds of laughter and conversation reaching you from where you stood with your hand on the door handle, your other lightly ghosting over your belly.

Things had changed fast, but you knew you’d always have a home here, a family, it was just about to get a little bigger. 

You were ready, you realised as you climbed in the cab, waving to Antonio as you began to drive away, and you wouldn’t be alone. Whatever came next, you and Carisi would face it together.

Look out New York.

[peachym00]

Thank you for the tag @sushisweetie 🫶🏻!! This has been sitting in my drafts for ages (whoops) but I have finally gathered 5 of my current favourite songs to share with anyone who cares to know!

(in no particular order)

5. Granite by Sleep Token

I'm not usually a fan of progressive/heavy metal but BOY does this song have me in a choke hold. The lyrics are just.. they make me want to yell into the void.

I also really like Alkaline and The Summoning, (it's 6:35 long but from 4:30 is my FAV section of the song..iykyk)

4. Dum Dum by Jeff Satur

I listen to both the Thai and English versions of his songs but this one gets played the most, probably bc my native language is English lmao. Everything about his music is just🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻 notable other faves of mine are Hide, Black Tie and Steal the Show.

3. Daechwita by Agust-D

Listen Min Yoongi is the love of my life and this song and this album got me through 2020/2021, it has a very special place in my heart and will do forever lol. I love everything he’s done so far but People, Burn it and Haegeum are my other favourites.

2. Maniac by Stray Kids

This is the song that made me google their names and spiral into a new K-pop obsession. Their discography is so impeccable and vast that I haven't made my way through all of it yet and I am WAITING FOR UK TOUR DATES PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

1. Little Girl Gone by CHINCHILLA

This is the perfect female rage song, honestly if you're angry about anything this is great. I had an unexpected person in my life last year that hurt my feelings in ways that I never saw coming and this song has been amazing at dealing with the rage I feel when I think about what they did. (sorry that got deep for a second lmao)

I never know who to tag, apologies if you've already done this and as usual there's absolutely no pressure to respond! 💕 @29daffodils @13834 @27vampyresinhermind @kinyeee @vegasandhishedgehog 🫶🏻

When you get this you have to answer with 5 of your fav songs and then tag your mutuals to do the same :) (no pressure <3)

Oooh, I was tagged by @visualtaehyun and honestly you might regret this. Welcome to my brain.

5. Jeff

Jeff Satur - Comedy (OST He She It)

I haven’t actually watched this series, but it looks devastating - I’m in. Also that is the absolute correct reaction to Jeff Satur singing to you.

4. Jeff

Jeff Satur - Why don’t you stay (English version of the KinnPorsche OST)

The number of Voice Coach Reacts videos on YouTube dedicated to this performance is - a high number, I didn’t count.

3. SILVY - and Jeff

( if you look very closely you might just see a pattern forming)

SILVY & Jeff Satur - Far

Not the official video but it officially has its own room in my heart - the right atrium is all yours acoustic version Jeff and SILVY.

2. JEFF

Jeff Satur - Dum dum (English version)

Um, go watch the live performances of this song (in Thai or English), the choreography is breaking people.

1. Not Jeff. Kidding ofc it’s Jeff. Also I have ADHD.

Jeff Satur - Black Tie

My favourite to sing along to - also Jeff in red lipstick! It’s everything I need in life.

.

I realise you may have questions, like Zimmbs why the fuck are they all in English? Well that’s because I’m learning Thai. You may now have more questions. It’s a whole thing, I really need to write a post about but I’ll drop something in the notes.

Tagging @cryingatships @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas @sushisweetie, wanna play?