#this has been a wip for far too long - i had so many plans for this build

[magsintherain]

okay update I’ve been Instagram stalking and I think I can put pieces together. This is such a long deep dive so bear with me.

January: "I have two that I've written the first draft of and will go into revision soon. I have one that I'm writing now and I'm about halfway through. I have another that I'm planning." (source)

I will label these four books, in order, Mystery Book, Big Book, Paper Model Book, and Little Graceling Book. We'll follow them over the course of the year, and you'll see where the names come from.

The one that she was writing at the time, we're going to call Paper Model Book, because she said this about it: "My WIP includes a character who’s building a paper model of a castle and does other paper art too. Butterflies and moths are also an important part of the book." (source)

This draft was started many months earlier, pre-brain surgery, and went on pause for obvious reasons. From earlier notes, it appears the main character may have an M name. (source) I believe the draft was started all the way back in September 2023, and just took a while due to the aforementioned brain surgery, as well as copyediting for There Is a Door in this Darkness. (source)

She continued working on Paper Model Book for several months. She finished and submitted the manuscript around late April/early May. Several of the notebooks for this book have fox stickers on them, and she also had fox socks and fox art on her desk, which could mean there are foxes in it, but could also mean that she was just in a fox mood.

May: "With this draft done, I now have three entire books in revision, plus There Is a Door in This Darkness releasing on June 11." (source)

In May, she was on a bit of a vacation, but mentioned at one point that she was "listening to a lot of math podcasts and books to help me with a character I’m brainstorming." (source) Guessing this was for Little Graceling Book, the book she started writing in September; it's the only one she would have been planning/brainstorming for.

In June, she began revising a 430-page book. She described this revision as "so complicated" and the novel as "pretty complex". (source) The first draft of that book was written, in part, summer 2023. (source) This should be the one we have called Big Book. She continued revising Big Book for several months, while also doing release stuff for There Is A Door in this Darkness.

Peeks from that revision:

(source 1, source 2)

In September, she started plotting a new book, which we will call Little Graceling Book. Two posts about it have been tagged #gracelingrealm, implying that it's the next Graceling book.

Words I have caught in her notes for this book include: “fox” “castle” “heartless world” “the reader has guessed what A is up to and so has O; move on to other mysteries” (who’s A?? could it be adventure the fox??). Stickers include at least two foxes and a very Graceling-feeling castle.

On November 10, she mentioned writing “a bunch of pages, in a book about a world where things can change for the better (as they can in our world).” <3 (source)

A few days ago (December 21), she posted that she will be setting aside the partial first draft of Little Graceling Book to return to Big Book, her next book to come out. This book has gone through two drafts, and she’s about to get editorial letters back that will allow her to start on the third draft. There appears to be a grandfather clock and a horse sticker on the cover of its notebook, but we don't know anything else about it as far as I can tell. (source)

She also shared that two other books (Mystery Book and Paper Model Book, as far as I can tell) are in progress and hanging out on a shelf. They appear to be printouts with sticky notes in them, which indicates that they're further along in the revision process.

So. That's what I have. Hopefully this is of interest to someone besides me that will justify the several hours I spent back-scrolling Kristin Cashore's Instagram lol

hi excuse me kristin cashore is working on FOUR books rn ??

what do we think they are 👀

[moonwoodhollow]

ts4 wip: shifting back into Mid-Century-Modern mode

[resident-idiot-simp]

Bucky and Steve running across Logan and meeting Wade and Laura in the process

(x)

Logan was out shopping when he heard a whisper "Lucky James." And smelled familiar scents. It's Barnes and Rogers, he knows immediately his plans for the day are going to be postponed.

He just sighs and walks towards an alley so they can talk without too many onlookers. They stand at the opening of the alley with crossed arms and wide eyes. Logan just puts his arms out to the side as if he's showing off.

"It's been a while." Logan acknowledges.

"A WHILE?!" Rogers half shouts, "How are you not old It's been close to a century?" Barnes asks.

Logan just raised an eyebrow at them, "I could ask you the same thing but I know the answer to that." Logan points out.

"Of course you know the answer everyone knows did they enhance you too?" Rogers asks and Logan shakes his head. "Nah I don't need enhancements I was born this way." Logan says with a shrug.

"Explain." Barnes orders and Logan does. "I'm a mutant."

Barnes and Rogers share a look. "So what are you just slow to age?" Barnes asks. Logan smirks, "Kinda It's more like I have a healing factor the likes of which you've never seen. With a few other things." Logan tacks the last part on like an afterthought.

"What do you mean?" Rogers asks. Logan chuckles to himself, "For all intents and purposes I'm immortal. I was there when the bombs dropped in Japan and I'm still here."

Barnes and Rogers looked shell-shocked.

"I'm twice as old as both of you." Logan adds just because he can.

This seems to break them slightly. "Do you want to get lunch with us so we can catch up?" Barnes asks and Logan shrugs. "If you pay with that Stark money." Logan offers, and they agree.

They go to one of Logan's favorite places Wade had shown him and he takes their normal booth in the corner. The waitresses greet him happily and he smiles and waves back. It's very different from the world he was in and he'd like to keep it that way.

Barnes and Rogers couldn't keep their eyes off him like if they looked way he might just up and disappear. He understood but couldn't really relate.

"H-how have you been what have you been doing?" Rogers asked and what a question to start with. He might as well rip the bandage off now.

"I'm not your Lucky James." He says completely ignoring that question for now. "Also it's Logan now has been for a while."

They stare blankly and he continues.

"The man you served with isn't me he died a while ago. I'm from another universe a far shittier one of my own making. I was brought here as a replacement for the man you knew."

"...what?" Barnes breathed sounding a bit heartbroken.

"It's complicated and I don't know the full story, but you need to understand I'm not the same person you knew. It is most likely that we had the exact same experiences, but you are not my Barnes and Rogers and I am not your Logan."

"What happened to him?" Rogers asked.

"He sacrificed himself to save some kids. He was a hero and a legend to those who knew him." Logan answered.

"And you're not?" Rogers asked, sharp as a tack that one.

"Not in my world. I did a lot of bad things got real mad...lost control...... I'm not like the other Logan my story differs after the X-Men."

"You are an X-man?" Barnes asked and Logan looked away.

"Your Logan was. I am just a disgrace who couldn't accept I needed to get over myself."

Barnes's eyes lit up as he connected dots, "You're Wolverine." Steve's head wipped towards Logan as he also realized.

Logan nodded.

"Well, the question still stands How are you and what have you been doing?" Steve asks and Logan smiles slightly.

"Better, I have a new purpose and shot at life thanks to Wade. I'm doing jobs with the maniac and living a pretty normal life."

"Who's Wade?" Barnes asked with a raised brow. Logan smiles he can't help it. "My fiance. He's the one who brought me here, but that's a long complicated story that I promise isn't that interesting." Logan answered with a shrug.

"You said you did jobs. You want to specify?" Rogers asked and Logan rolled his eyes.

"We work for the TVA which is something I'm not going to get into and normal merc shit." Logan says offhandedly.

Rogers splutters his drink and Barnes looks interested. "Would I know Wade?" Barnes  asks and Logan smirks, "Definitely." They give their orders as the waitress comes and Logan gets a call.

He answers with a surprisingly soft, "Hey kit." That has Barnes and Rogers looking at one another eyes wide.

"Yeah yeah, we're at our favorite place." A pause. "Yeah ok, do you want your usual?" Another pause, "Ok see you in a bit bye."

The waitress raises an eyebrow at Logan, "Does she want her usual?" Logan nods and she scratches something else down before leaving.

"What was that?" They ask at the same time and Logan just smiles. "The main reason your Logan sacrificed himself is coming." He says and he sounds so incredibly fond.

They talk for a while longer until Logan perks up and the super soldiers turn to see what Logan's looking at.

It's a young lady who looks so much like Logan all of the questions they have are answered after just a glance.

"Come here kit." Logan calls his voice seeming to vibrate like a purr. The lady makes her way to the seat next to Logan smiling.

"Hi, papá." She greets her voice vibrating the same way. Logan throws an arm over her shoulder and squeezes before letting her go.

Rogers is trying and failing to speak as Barnes just stares. "This is Laura." Logan introduces and Barnes manages to get himself under control first.

"Nice to meet you Laura you can call me Bucky that's Steve." He sounds only slightly breathy which is impressive. Logan knows full well this is one of the last things they expected.

"I know." She says flatly and Rogers can't help the bark of laughter that escapes him. That's definitely Logan's daughter no doubt about it. Barnes seemed to have a similar reaction but managed to only snicker.

Logan doesn't even hide the shit-eating smile that crosses his face.

"Did Wade follow you?" Logan asked and Laura rolled her eyes. "He said he wouldn't so I give it 30 minutes until he shows up." Logan nods along like he expected this answer.

Barnes seemed to remember what Logan had said about this being the reason they're Logan had sacrificed himself as he looked at her closer.

"You're our Logan's kid." He stated more than asked. Rogers jerked in his seat as he too recalled that. Laura just sighed. Barnes suddenly felt like shit. Logan however didn't seem upset or annoyed at him.

"Yes, but I'm technically a clone. They took his DNA during the Weapons X program. I'm an attempt at recreating the perfect weapon." She said as she gestured at Logan who looked pissed off at the reminder.

There was a lot there that Rogers and Barnes hadn't heard yet none of which sounded good.

"I miss Dad but his sacrifice wasn't in vain. I have another life now a better one just like he wanted." She answered easily. Rogers and Barnes nodded sagely It definitely made them feel better knowing that their friend had sacrificed himself to save his daughter.

"I don't know how much you want to answer but what exactly was Weapons X?" Barnes asked the both of them.

Logan answered, "It was an organization that prays on mutants. It really started with me they tricked me into getting adamantium adhered to my bones before...well...they made me into the perfect weapon and took away my free will."

Laura leaned into him and Logan welcomed it smiling softly at her before continuing, "I was the tenth attempt and the first success. I eventually escaped, But they couldn't let it go so they tried cloning me." He breathed out.

Laura picked up from there, "I'm the 23rd attempt." She answered with a shrug. "Weapons X has been taken down but there's still offshoots that's what got pop."

Logan growled softly. "Fucking Francis." He snarled. Barnes seemed to look like he might be connecting some dots but couldn't quite put the whole picture together.

They were interrupted by the food being delivered. They talk for a while longer about less touchy issues after that, Laura even explaind what it's like in the mansion. That is until a while later when the diner goes silent and Logan and Laura perk up.

Rogers and Barnes reluctantly turn to see Deadpool sans his normal outfit. As he makes his way to the back booth where they are sitting. People he passes scramble out the door behind him.

Most of the waiters and waitresses look nervous, but he pays them no mind as he makes his way over. Rogers and Barnes prepare for a fight. "Peanut Mini, how are we doing?" He chirped.

Laura starts purring, "Pop." She greeted. "Thought you said you weren't going to follow the kit darling?" Logan asked his voice warbling the same way Laura's was.

"And let you two have all the fun? Please!" He rolled his eyes. He then turned and finally looked at the other two men and his eyes went wide.

Logan lunged at him covering his mouth, "Don't you dare scream Wade." He threatened as he pulled him down into the other open chair next to him.

Laura just laughed and Logan glared at her. Eventually, Wade managed to wiggle out of Logan's grasp, "OMG CAPTAIN AMERICA MY HERO!" He cried.

Rogers looked distinctly uncomfortable, "YOU KNEW I WANTED TO BE EXACTLY LIKE YOU WHEN I GREW UP DESPITE THE FACT I AM CANADIAN!" Wade exclaimed excitedly.

Rogers wanted to point out the fact that he ended up the exact opposite of him but didn't. His face however must have conveyed this because Deadpool answered." I KNOW I DIDN'T QUITE MANAGE IT BUT I GOT PRETTY CLOSE!"

Steve went to speak but Bucky was quick to speak over him because he had questions. He had never dared get close to Deadpool he was terrifying but now seemed like a perfect time.

"What do you mean by pretty close? I mean you're known for taking any job with a high enough pay?" He didn't ask rudely just really pointing out a fact in the underground.

Wade turned his attention to him, "Well sure But it's mainly bad people, Hell I'm quite warm-blooded for a merc. Besides when you're the best at what you do you end up taking the dirty jobs." And then as an afterthought tacked on, "And I do like money how else am I supposed to buy cocaine?"

"Al does love her cocaine." Laura agreed and Logan nodded along with that train of thought.

Rogers looked like he might explode and Logan looked lovestruck. The soldiers wondered distinctly what Logan saw in this maniac.

"What do you mean warm-blooded?" Barnes asked.

"Well, sometimes when kids get desperate they come to get help through unorthodox means. Most people don't touch it because the pay isn't good." Deadpool explained easily.

That seemed...actually pretty sweet which was surprising for someone like Deadpool.

"Besides I mainly take hits on drug lords, child traffickers, rapists, murderers, and the other unsavory," Deadpool answers easily and Logan nods at that confirming it.

The conversations continue and surprisingly Deadpool or Wade actually seems... Okay. Logan is enamored with him and it's understandable he has a charm to him if you can get over his...eccentricities.

Laura also clearly loves him and that's enough for them. They plan to have lunch at some later point. They pay and Wade leaves a generous tip...like a couple hundred dollars generous. The waitress seems to know him and thanks him with a smile. And just like that the trio is gone.

Steve and Bucky make their way back to the tower as they try to figure out how to explain the encounter they just had with the other Avengers.

"So where have you been?" Tony asks the moment they appear in the main area. The two share a look, "We met an old friend and caught up."

"Old friend, how old was he 90?" Clint asks from the couch. Bucky chuckles, "Actually he's much older than that. We had no idea though turns out he's a mutant."

Everyone pauses at that and looks over to them all asking them to continue with just a glance.

"Super enhanced healing factor It's as immortal as it sounds." Steve answered.

"Yeah?" Tony asked eyes gleaming with excitement.

"Yeah, but it's complicated and it turns out he has a kid and fiance." Steve answered easily.

"With immortality? that sounds painful." Tony asked seeming haunted at the idea of outliving Pepper and Morgan.

Bucky chuckled, "Funny thing that they're also immortal."

Everyone paused, "How did that happen?" Bruce asked.

"Both are experiments from his DNA." Barnes revealed.

Tony and Bruce shared a look, "Is there any way we can meet them?" Tony asked excitedly.

Bucky and Steve shared a glance, "Well...sure but.." Steve trailed off.

"One of them is Deadpool." Barnes finished.

Natasha and Clint seemed to jump a foot in the air out of shock alone.

"WHAT?!" They both shouted in shock.

(I plan on posting this tomorrow to Ao3)

[wolfjackle-creates]

Bring Me Home Arc 2 Part 18

Welcome to another WIP Wednesday!

Story Summary: Tim and Danny are both neglected by parents who care more about their work than their families. They deal with this by spending too much time online and find each other playing MMORPGs. They keep up their friendship as Tim becomes Robin and Danny becomes Phantom and don't bother keeping secrets from each other.

Arc 1 AO3 Link

Arc 2: Part 1, Previous

Word Count: 1.7k

-----

From the radio station, the four traveled to the television studio for their next interview. The host had listened to their radio interview and helped summarize much of the information before asking further questions.

Tim and his teammates called into question the biases of the Drs Fenton and hoped their criticisms would bring others to think twice before taking their word as gospel.

When they were finally done, it was almost nine.

Tim shot off a quick text to Bruce for his morning check-in. He noticed Conner texting someone, too. “Who’re you talking to?” he asked.

“Sam. She says Danny’s still passed out. But her parents are talking about some sort of press release the mayor is planning on putting on at City Hall at ten.”

Cassie groaned. “Ugh, more reporters. Please say we don’t have to go.”

“We should,” said Tim. “But we can go in civvies.”

“Can we at least get breakfast first?” asked Bart. “It’s been hours since we woke up!”

“Yeah,” agreed Cassie. “I’m starving. Let’s get some food. I think I saw a diner when we flew to our second interview.”

Before Tim could consider protesting, Conner had him secure in his arms and TTK and they were in the air.

“Lead the way, Wonder Girl.”

Tim scowled to hide his smile. “Oh sure, don’t listen to your leader. Just do whatever.”

“You’d let us starve?” wailed Connor. “Then we’ll stage a mutiny!”

Cassie laughed. “Yeah, see how long you remain in charge of a hangry speedster, half-kryptonian, and demigoddess.”

Tim grinned. “Oh, but you forget I know you all very well. I can win you back to my side. Starting with Kon.”

“And how do you plan to do that?” demanded Conner.

“Easy. I’ll just bribe you with Alfred’s cookies and a great movie. If I add in a dash of ‘I need your help’ and my puppy dog eyes and you’ll be eating out of the palm of my hand.”

“That’s another square on my bingo card!” called back Cassie. “And look, we’re here!” She pointed down to a quintessential American diner with green glass windows.

The group met Bart a block away in an alley where they shed their gear.

“I’ll tell Sam what we’re up to.” Conner pulled out his phone to send the message.

“Quit wasting time! We’re on a deadline,” moaned Bart as he positioned himself behind Conner and tried to push him towards the street and breakfast.

Conner laughed and refused to budge, so Tim figured a demonstration of his power was in order.

He got in front of Conner and pouted at him. “I know I was joking about not allowing breakfast, but I’m the one who didn’t eat before the interviews. An omelet is calling my name.”

Conner groaned and ran a hand down his face. “Fuck you, Rob.” But he stalked forward out of the alley.

Tim and Bart exchanged grins.

“Seriously, Tim,” said Cassie. “This trip has been great for my bingo card.”

Tim stuck his tongue out at her and jogged to catch up with Conner.

Breakfast was simple but tasty and they devoured far too much food. Their waitress was clearly impressed with her first exposure to a speedsters appetite. Add in a super and a demigoddess and it was obscene.

All too soon, however, it was time to go to the mayor’s press conference. As they made their way there, they joined a growing crowd. Clearly many people were interested in whatever the mayor had planned.

In the crowd, he could hear comments about their interviews. It seems both had been posted online and already had thousands of views. Some people seemed to be sympathetic to them, but others were mistrustful of the “outsiders.”

“If they’re such good friends, why did it take so long for them to come here?” asked one man of his friend.

“I’ve a cousin in Central City. She says trouble always follows a superhero,” said another.

Tim exchanged a look with Conner. He’d be able to hear more conversations and could share his perceptions later.

Before long, they were entering City Hall. Already the seats were full, so they were forced to stand in the back. Jack and Maddie were sitting near the front. Jeremy and Pamela Manson sat on the opposite side of the room as them, but also were near the front of the room.

Tim exchanged looks with his teammates to make sure they saw both couples. Conner was glaring at Maddie and Jack.

“They’re complaining about our interviews,” said Conner. “Throwing around guesses that we are either possessed or have already been brainwashed by the ghosts.”

“At least we know they aren’t observant. Maybe they won’t notice us.”

Mayor Montez stepped up to the podium and everyone fell silent. “People of Amity Park, we have been faced with a threat the likes of which we’ve never before seen! And based on the events of this morning, it doesn’t seem like we’ll be able to rely on outside help to get us out of it.”

A stone sunk in Tim’s stomach and he exchanged looks with his friends.

“We only have one piece of business today: Defeating the ghosts that infest our town. And to do that, I'm calling for a vote to cede all ghost policing and security decisions”—he held up a photo of Maddie—“to Maddie Fenton.” As Tim watched, however, the mayor’s eyes glowed red and he winced. “I mean Jack,” he corrected, holding up a new picture of Jack Fenton. “The completely competent Jack Fenton.”

“He’s overshadowed,” breathed Conner.

Tim nodded and was already sending a message to Sam, Tucker, and Danny. “And who knows who else.”

Before they could say anything else, the mayor continued, “And we’ve located the ghost responsible for all the terror inflicted on our town.” He held up a picture of Phantom. “Whatever some outsiders may have tried to lie to you about this very morning.”

A gasp rang out among the crowd. Tim glanced at his friends. Conner was glaring at the mayor fiercely and Tim attempted to step in front of him, as pointless as their relative sizes made the action.

The mayor smiled viciously as a panicked crescendo rose from the crowd. Tim’s phone vibrated in his hand and he saw a response from Sam.

Sam: We saw Sam: Danny is on his way Sam: And we’re following as fast we can

Under his breath, Tim muttered, “Conner, you and Bart should go suit up. Cassie and I will stay and keep an eye on what’s going on. Stay close, but try not to be seen unless an attack happens.” Subtly, grateful for their places against the wall, he passed over the thermos he’d taken with him that morning.

Tim heard Conner’s sigh of relief as the two slipped away. He hated pretending to be a civilian in a crisis. Even more than the rest of them.

Cassie whispered, “I almost hate you for keeping me here.”

Tim just bumped their shoulders together.

The mayor, or rather the ghost inhabiting him, raised his arm and silence slowly fell. “We cannot call for outside help. Those who call themselves the Young Justice today proved that the so-called heroes of this world will defend our enemy over us. That they will spread lies to keep us subject to the whims of these ghosts.” The last word was spat. “So we must solve the problem ourselves. Jack Fenton, if the people of this town agree, you and those you train will be our defense force, will you do this?”

Jack near jumped three feet in the air in his excitement. “I’ve been training for this my entire life, Mayor Montez! I’ll be honored.”

“I believe we must institute martial law! The 9 PM curfew will remain in place. No one will be allowed on the streets alone. No loitering. The park will be closed until further notice. Same with the public pool and library and a number of other locations. Drs Fenton, will you be able to set up buildings protected by ghost shields where people can gather for safety?”

Whispering broke out among the public. Maddie stood tall next to her husband, though being continually overlooked in favor of him was clearly grating on her. “We can. Fenton Works is already protected and within two days we can have another shield up and ready. Within the week, we could have five.”

The whispered were almost loud enough to drown her out by the time she finished speaking

“Order! Order!” called Mayor Montez. “All in favor of declaring martial law, and allowing the completely competent Jack Fenton to mobilize a massive ghost hunt, please say—”

But cutting off the mayor, Danny, in his Phantom form, suddenly appeared in the air in the middle of the hall. “I might be too young to vote, but I’m casting one anyway.”

Around them, everyone gasped and people began backing away even as Danny shifted to look at them. Tim and Cassie both tensed and prepared to run.

“You people have to listen to me,” urged Danny. “I’m on your side.”

Mayor Montez took a step back as members of his security moved to stand in front of him. Jack and Maddie jumped up and glared at him.

“You’re not fooling anybody, ghost kid!” declared Jack. “You are going down!” He reached back and pulled out the Fenton fishing rod, the line was horribly tangled and Jack began messing with it. “As soon as I finish untangling this thing.”

Cassie let out a disbelieving huff.

Tim shook his head. “Apparently,” he replied to her unasked question. He pulled out his phone and shot a message to Bart and Conner.

Rob: get back here now Rob: All 4 of us are needed

Before he even finished typing his last message, Bart was at his side. Just in time to see Danny mutter something and shoot an ectoblast at his parents who were thrown back with the force of it, destroying the podium and leaving a burn mark on the ground.

“Shit,” muttered Tim. “Cassie, let’s go. Impulse, try to help where you can.”

“You’ve got it.”

----

Next

And so the best of intentions go awry!

I can almost taste the end of this arc, but for all I know, that'll take another 10k to finish. So we'll see what happens. Hope you enjoyed.

I no longer do tag lists, but please check out the Subscription Post if you want to be notified of updates.

[ihni]

Okay so I read a fic (in another fandom) that made me think, and this morning I woke up with ready-made fic idea in my head which I will ABSOLUTELY NOT WRITE, I have too many WIPs already, so I'll just ... write it all out here and then hope that's enough to get it out of my head.

So! Harringroveson-ish. Very rough, train-of-thought style.

Imagine Eddie and Steve smoking together and hooking up on the regular, because they both live in a small town and it's difficult and risky to find another guy who's willing to fool around in small-town Hawkins. So they've been doing it for a while, and they have fun and like each other kind of a lot and are comfortable with each other and all even though they keep it on the downlow for obvious reasons.

And then Billy Hargrove rolls into town, and he's mesmerizing and both Steve and Eddie can't really keep away from him. But Billy's acting so über straight that surely, none of them have a chance, right? So they may talk about him when they're together (for the Thrill or Sexytimes of it, idk), but they don't really think they have a chance. Until they start realizing that Billy's eyes ... wanders, if he thinks no one is watching. So they start talking about it, about trying to see if they can seduce him to the gay side of Hawkins, and it's mostly a joke between them, to get the other riled up when they're together; talking about what they'd do to him if they could. Because Billy's always taking girls out, and he's got quite the reputation - SURELY he's got a lot of sexual experience and would be up for whatever, right?

And like, they both think that THEY'd be the one to succeed to sway Billy over. Steve thinks that since he's the former King Steve and plays sports with Billy and they hang out in the same circles, of course he'd have luck with the guy than Eddie, but Eddie claims that with the music Billy listens to and the car he's got, he's obviously got more in common with Eddie than Steve ...

So they make a bet. Mostly as a joke, but a bet nonetheless; Which one of them will bed Billy first?

Meanwhile, Billy is of course secretly gay and has been moved to a closed-minded town against his will by his abusive dad for being found out just kissing another boy, and even though he's secretly eyeing both the former King of Hawkins High and the King of the Freaks, he does not fool himself into thinking something will happen. He can't allow himself to show a single sign of his preferences. So he takes girls out on dates, a string of them, and he parties and he flirts and he wraps Hawkins around his thumb, and only shows the careful mask he has created, and not an ounce of the real Billy, because he wants to live until graduation, thank you very much.

He had planned to just keep his head above water and survive until he could get the hell out of town, but that gets increasingly difficult when the two guys who he's been eyeing start to approach him. Trying to be friends? Trying to throw him off? Or ... check out the competition? Billy's not sure what's going on here, but he knows it's messing with his mask and his composure. Harrington didn't use to play this hard in gym, did he? Rubbing up on Billy like he is, now. Didn't use to smile at him and talk to him and like, stretch out in the shower after practice. And Munson had kept his distance until then, so what's up with the way he suddenly appears whenever Billy's sneaking off for a smoke, offering a good price on weed and inviting Billy to see his band play?

So, Steve and Eddie do their best to seduce Billy, mostly as a challenge between the two of them, but when they notice that Billy gets flustered when they touch him or lets his gaze for a little too long when they do things like stretch or lick their lips and so on, they start to suspect that this could actually happen. It's not so far-fetched as they might have thought. So they talk, and find it very exhilerating to imagine that maybe they both actually stand a chance, here ... but of course, the bet is still on. Who will have him first?

Billy's only human. And gay. And desperately alone in this sea of people, since no one knows the real him. So he's falling for it, even if he's hesitant and afraid (because of Neil, because of what if this is an elaborate prank, and also partly because all that he's done with a boy thus far has been kissing (Your choice as to what he has actually done with girls)).

Maybe both Eddie and Steve are getting bolder, right about now. Putting the moves on Billy, so that there's no mistaking their intentions. And Billy is tempted, so very tempted - but also so very scared. He backs off, or draws back, or maybe stammeringly mentions that his dad would kill him if he found out. "He's not gonna find out," whoever is with him says, but Billy bites his lip. Hesitates. Shakes his head.

But like, of course, eventually one of them - Steve or Eddie, your pick - succeeds. Billy gives in, gives up, throws caution to the wind. He gets to sleep with at least one of his crushes, and it's GOOD, it's so much better than he could have ever imagined sex to be and he can't believe he's so lucky that he gets to have this.

And of course whoever won the bet is thrilled. Both because they got to fuck Billy (who they are realizing that they LIKE, just like they like their other boyfriend), but also because of the thrill of winning the bet. So after, directly after or the morning after, your choice, they hurry back to their boyfriend to gloat about their win. Maybe they have to look for him, though, so they don't find him right away. Because of course for PLOT REASONS we need Billy to be at that place, too - feeling light, happy, and for the first time not feeling like a prisoner in this town - and overhearing. Overhearing the gloating, the "I won our bet" and "yup, fucked him good" and the "he was so sweet, you should have seen him". And then, for added angst, of course Billy sees the two of them kissing, making out. Looking very busy and into each other.

Billy should be angry, but he's so shocked and gutted that he can't bring up even a spark of anger.

And I want them to spot him there. Realize, by the paleness of his face, that he heard every word. That he thinks they've used him, made fun of him - and they kind of HAVE. But when they break apart and turn horrified eyes on him, Billy turns and runs. They go after him, try to stop him, but oh THERE's that anger (bubbling up to hide the HURT), so he rips himself out of their grip and snarls at them not to TOUCH HIM. Maybe he yells at them, for using him and stringing him along and making him think he meant something when really he was just a pawn, just a game. Maybe he doesn't say ANYTHING, just blinks away tears and leaves. I don't know which is worse.

But he leaves, and they feel horrible. They realize that they fucked up BIG TIME, they should have approached this differently, they never should have made that bet. They talk (again) and realize that they actually DO both like him, and they want him with THEM, all three o f them together. They decide to try to make things right, somehow. Explain to Billy, grovel at his feet etc.

But oh, it's not that easy of course. Because Neil has gotten wind of Billy being seen with some boy (maybe a neighbor saw him when either Eddie or Steve reached for his hand or pressed a kiss to his cheek or something, in the late stages of the seduction), and he punishes Billy for it. Severly. Billy's home from school for a week, recovering. Steve and Eddie thinks he's avoiding them, but eventually put their foot down like, enough is enough, if he doesn't come to us we'll come to him, so they go to his house.

Thankfully, Neil isn't home. But Billy is. And when he opens the door, still black and blue, they are horrified. Billy is afraid that anyone will see them and tells them to go, and even scrapes up some anger and tells them that this is their fault, which shuts down their attempts at apologies, and then slams the door in their face.

Eddie and Steve do some more talking, maybe some minor stake-outs. Realizes that when Billy said his dad would kill him, he meant it, and if the man knew what Billy had done, Billy might be lying dead in a ditch somewhere. They feel bad (as they should, and also because this is my fic and I live for the guilt).

In the end, I think they'd have to find a way to get Billy out of his abusive household, as a way to prove they are sorry, and that they're serious about him. Maybe they set something up to make sure Neil gets caught in the act, maybe they involve the police, maybe they blackmail the man or threaten him somehow. I don't care how. But they get Billy SAFE. And THEN they grovel. As they damn well should.

And I hope that eventually, they manage to convince Billy that in fact, they were BOTH into him from the start, and the bet was just a way for them to dare to act on it. They both wanted him, with them both. And they still want him.

And maybe Billy might just be lonely enough to eventually believe them.

[skyrim-forever]

WIP Wednesday

Hello everyone! It's another Wednesday <3 Thank you to @changelingsandothernonsense for tagging me (love the Josh and Erra updates) I'm tagging @lady-iizsil @dirty-bosmer @theoneandonlysemla @thequeenofthewinter (you've already since this snippet oops) @lucien-lachance

This is a part of a much dark part 2 to this fic, my depraved Thalmor Embassy shenanigans. So this snippet features mentions of things in that fic including: sex, blackmail, voyeurism, the glove (iykyk). Under the cut also has mentions of torture, murder (as speculations) and Rulidnil being even worse (that's definitely present). So yeah, MDNI and read if you're cool with that. Anyways time to tease the horror. Chapter 1 is done and currently being edited, expect to see it soon~ its 6k OOPS

“Theodora.” She almost snaps her neck with how quick her gaze finds him. How did one of them know her name… she had only met one other male Thalmor… Akatosh preserve me. With each step inching closer, her body tenses as the suspicious are concerned. 

“Ah, Rulindil.” She grits her teeth. “Fancy running into you here.” 

It was none other than the mer who used them for sexual blackmail, first listening into their conversation and other activities at the Embassy, and then demanding to watch them engage in more of these activities. That had been his compromise after being told he could not fuck her himself. Originally Theodora had told Ondolemar she would have done it just to shut him up, but after meeting him, she could see his concerns were not unfounded. Her lover had told her all about how he ended up in the position he occupied now, how his life experiences lead him to serve the Dominion and of how he was harbouring severe doubts. Many of which had come from knowing her. With Elenwen, she could see that although she could be cruel, having been a torturer during the Great War, she understood there were multiple ways to solve a problem. Violence was not the only way to get information, treating people well, good wine and good food, could do wonders and was far easier than bleeding them out. The Ambassador was firm, but fair; at least as far as the Thalmor went. 

She didn’t see any of that in Rulindil. Interrogation was not his job, it was his passion. I enjoy making people scream he had told her. Enjoy. There was this pit in her stomach thinking about the fact that even if he was not in the Thalmor, he would likely still be doing that very thing. Perhaps he would be not unlike the Butcher in Windhelm, carving up all manner of people to just hear the sounds they made dying. The screams of those she killed during the war made their way into her nightmares sometimes. How anyone could desire such a sound she hoped to never understand. From the way he shook her hand, less shaking it than grabbing her wrist, grip lingering too long that the mere memory of it caused her to shudder; to the way his sexual degeneracy had no bounds. Stealing a glove that had been inside her. She hoped it was just a trophy, but the sinister look in his gaze now told her that that was decidedly untrue.

“I am freed from the confines of the Embassy for a few nights. Many of us are here, I believe Ondolemar is having a solo meeting with our lovely Ambassador.” Slight panic washes over her face at that. The dark chuckle that comes from him unsettles her even more. “Oh no, it’s not like that, I haven’t said anything. Seems he's been especially productive to the cause lately and is currently getting a rare bout of praise from Elenwen. Isn’t he lucky?” She smiles, happy to hear he’s okay and so that Rulindil stays friendly until she can leave this conversation. 

“Very lucky indeed.” She clears her throat, stance facing towards the Temple. “Wonderful to see you again” she lied “but I’m afraid I must be going, I’ve got plans.” 

“Your plans don’t include him do they, unless you’re all dressed up for someone else?”

“No, not him nor anyone else. Just going to have some drinks and do a bit of dancing.”

“Perhaps I will join you.” He smirks as he says this, enjoying the uncomfortable look on her face. 

“I was planning to go to the tavern here. The Skeever, and I don’t think you’d like to be seen in public with me, least of all places in a grubby Nord tavern.”

“Hmm.” She continues smiling. “Well, you own property here, don’t you? Why don’t we return there instead?” The smile falters. 

“How do you know I own property here?” His hand reaches for her hair, she forwent her normal circlet for some wildflowers, to match the embroidery on the new dress. One of the flowers is plucked from her. It twirls between his fingers.

“I know a lot about you.” 

“Ondolemar said you were… satisfied.” 

“I am satisfied with him, I never said anything about you.” Chest tightens. 

“I’ll tell him, you must know that.” Another sick laugh from him made her nauseous. 

“And what will he do? Harming a fellow agent is grounds for extreme discipline. Killing me would be certain death. There would be nothing he could do that wouldn’t result in more eyes being drawn to you. Not everyone will be as kind as me.” Kind. The word makes her nauseous. There’s an audible gulp. “All I want is a little time with you, Theodora. Why can he have that and not me?” She wants to tell him why, all the reasons Ondolemar is leagues above him, in every manner from their organization to her affections. But upsetting him is the last thing she wants to do.  

“I suppose you’re right. There’s no harm in a few glasses of wine.”

[lizardperson]

lizardwriting wrapped 2024

because this whole thing deserves a little yearly review too...

after not writing anything for the public in sooo many years, i actually wrote quite a lot this year. only had to overcome the initial feeling of "cringe omg i can't post that 😬", and now have lost all shame and am enjoying myself immensely, subjecting the world to my bullshit. i think i actually improved quite a bit over the whole year.

AO3 STATS [link]

28 works 48,102 words total 18x ocworld: 17 short bits + 5 chapters Dark Lights, Shine Loud 7x fallout: 6 of those Courier Mika including 20 oneshot chapters Come All Sufferers (#fnv au) 2x star trek disco

---

SPOTLIGHT some points stolen from this list

.characters i thought most about: mika - light of my life, bane of my existence. the ultimate blorbo from my brain, bouncing around in there 24/7. she's terrible and i love her so much. (#mika tag) gabriel - grew SO MUCH this year, mostly thanks to the silly little fallout au. i have a lot of thoughts but not enough words. i love him so much. (#gabriel tag) special mention: fiona - what started out as daria's nameless dead backstorywife somehow turned into an actual character that has been living in my brain now extensively. little miss tortured poet. i love her. (#fiona tag)

.favorite title And there are days like this, too because it's the perfect throwback to the kinda-first part 4261 days. and i wasn't even the one who came up with it, that was @voidthing special mention: The Hills Have Eyebots. because it's just funny.

.favorite opening line

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Mika cursed when her can of energy drink let out the familiar hiss of danger. Despite her best efforts and a few quick sips, she still managed to spill some of it on herself and the couch. Great, another point for Nic's long list of things to be pissed about. As if the general mood in this apartment hadn't been shitty enough those last few weeks. Oh well, let her bitch then. [Dark Lights, Shine Loud]

is it my best line? nah, far from it. is it the perfect introduction to Mika? hell yea - cursing, consuming caffeine, and making a mess. what more do you need to know lmao. i just really like that one, still. the whole first chapter, actually.

.favorite piece of dialogue

"You didn't answer my question - you think we're doing the right thing here?" "Yes." There was not a bit of doubt in his voice. "You believe in our stupid plan?" "I believe in you." [Doing The Right Thing]

just sums up the whole fallout au and their dynamic so well, and also *clutches chest*

special shoutout to the close second, the "I'm not a lesbian" bit in In Whiskey Veritas

and another special shoutout to the last bit of Left My Heart In The Sierra Madre because. T_T

.favorite ending line

Falling in love with her best friend was such a bad idea, July thought, and yet she didn't know how not to. [Viola sororia]

it's so sappy. but 🥺🥺🥺

close second for a completely different vibe:

Freud would probably have something to say about distracting yourself from your shitty mother by sleeping with a woman roughly that same age. Good thing Freud was dead. [Mommy issues]

.favorite text overall 4261 days i still think this is the best thing i've written. for someone who does not have particularly much experience with grief in general, i really really like writing a lot about it somehow...

---

OUTLOOK 2025

the big multi chapter thingies are very far up my to do list, but yknow how it is with adhd brains - ohhh lets do that quick short text first, and that one, and that one *procrastinates the big ones*

BUT that is the plan:

. finally getting some more chapters into Dark Lights, Shine Loud. there are a bunch lying around as first drafts, but they still need some work. soonTM

. continuing the way-too-ambition plotheavy heistthing What Happens In Reno, Stays In Reno after those first few intro chapters. this requires an extensive brainstorming session to get the actual plot hammered together.

. the shiny new wip that i am itching for (because shiny and new), because it's gonna be a bit different in various ways so that makes it excitingTM

....and of course just continuing to write, overall. gonna keep my #fff streak up.

---

SPECIAL THANKS

@voidthing for basically being my secret co-author. always improves the quality by SO MUCH and is the bestest anyway 💕💕💕

the whole @flashfictionfridayofficial community - turns out a regular thing is really good to get a habit going, and also y'all are so nice and cool and just 💕💕💕

everybody who reads my stuff of course :D yes, i mostly write for myself, but of course it's always awesome if someone else likes my bullshit 🙏

[takaraphoenix]

🍪🍪🍪 my official ask for the Stalion WIPs 🍪🍪🍪

THANKS SO MUCH FOR ASKING! ^-^ *munches on the cookies*

There are currently seven Stalion fics in my WIP folder:

The FBI Liaison, the Mischief Monday for December 2nd

Future fic more or less in-universe, but with the canon divergence of the Alpha Pack being good and working for the Magic Council, having gone to Beacon Hills during 3A to evaluate Derek as an Alpha.

Years later, they are sent to work with an FBI liaison of the council's. Neither of them are thrilled because usually council liaisons who work for the US government are stuck up and annoying.

Until they meet the agent and realize it's Stiles.

--

The Overbooked Council Convention, originally a Mischief Monday but has since been upgraded to Wednesday Oneshot, to be posted on December 11th

I actually posted a sneak peek for this fic already, but here's the premise: Also the twist of the Alpha Pack being good and working for the Magic Council, also a future fic. But in this, Stiles was pushed out of the McCall Pack after Donovan and has been traveling the US on his own for the past three years, working as a freelancer for a bit before he got recruited by the Magic Council.

Every year, the council gathers all its representatives for a convention, an open exchange. This year is the first Stiles attends as an official representative. And the council somehow overbooked the hotel, many left without a room. Thankfully, other participants are willing to share.

Deucalion is willing to share with Stiles. Stiles is glad that Deuc is so generous and he's happy to see the Alpha Pack again, had missed them all. What Stiles doesn't know is that Deucalion's pack had come back to Beacon Hills only weeks after he had left the town, weeks after graduation, because Deucalion had every intention of courting the Spark. Finally, Deucalion has found his chosen again and this time, he wasn't going to let Stiles slip away so easily.

(This story started as a poor excuse to write "there's only one bed" with Stalion and then I developed feels and grew attached to the mentor/mentee Marin-Stiles dynamic and now I'm sitting at 7k and they still haven't gone to bed...)

--

The Demon Wolf's Distraction, an upcoming Mischief Monday

Part of the promised "at least a dozen 'Deucalion rolls into town with A PLAN but then Stiles fully hijacks that' fics" I talked about in the A/N of Smells So Sweet.

The Alpha Pack comes to town to evaluate the Hale Pack and while doing so, a curious Spark seems to be spending an awful lot of time with them. Deucalion finds Stiles far more interesting than the local pack and is soon enthralled by the inquisitive, powerful boy.

--

Sexed Up By the Demon Wolf, an upcoming Mischief Monday

Not to repeat myself, but good Alpha Pack comes to town to evaluate Derek. The Darach starts sacrificing virgins and Stiles grows very, very nervous about his v-card and the lack of willing people to take it. Deucalion has no idea how anyone could say no to that, but he is more than happy to help Stiles out.

--

Revenge Is a Meal for Two, an upcoming Mischief Monday

In this one, the Alpha Pack comes neither because of the Magic Council nor for Derek or Scott at all. Deucalion is exclusively there to get his revenge on Gerard Argent. Him and his pack want to kill the man, but they come just in time of the season 2 finale and Gerard slithering away, so they go and track him down.

Stiles, bitter and vengeful after he got kidnapped and tortured by Gerard, isn't going to let the bastard get away either and tracks him down too.

They meet for the first time when they find Gerard and kill him together.

--

How to Seduce Your Best Friend's Alpha, an upcoming Wednesday Oneshot

Stronger AU on this one; Deucalion's pack isn't an Alpha Pack, they're a regular pack - and they're not located in the US. They never come to Beacon Hills at all, instead they're the London Pack Jackson relocates to.

After the Nogitsune, Stiles and Jackson form a long-distance friendship because Stiles finds that he has an easier time talking to the former kanima about the possession than anyone else. Jackson just gets it, in a way nobody else does.

So after graduation, Stiles packs up and moves to London with Lydia to be with Jackson. That's when Stiles meets Deucalion, Jackson's Alpha, and quickly falls for the handsome, charming, powerful man.

--

Get Out of Hell (to Find a Demon), an upcoming Wednesday Oneshot

Canon divergence where the Alpha Pack never comes to Beacon Hills at all, but they are the pack Boyd and Erica run into when they flee the town. They join the pack, train with them and along the way, kill two rogue Alphas to gain Alphahood themselves and thus, their permanent place in the pack. All the while, they stay in contact with Stiles, texting and calling him.

When Stiles kills Donovan and Scott won't believe him, Stiles doesn't know what to do or who to turn to, so he calls Erica and Boyd. His friends come to pick up the pieces and the Demon Wolf opens his den to his pack members' friend, without knowing what he signs up for or how much Stiles was going to grow on him.

[bunnymermaidwrites]

pls tell me about odette and why you want to trap them in a snow globe and shake them until they’re concussed?

the fact that you compare hilbert to odette makes me already quite fearful

Hi!❤️❤️❤️

Okay, so Odette... Odette very much deserves to be trapped in a snow globe and a lot more if you ask me, but I'll let you be the judge.

While her crimes might not be as bad as Hilbert's (attempted murder of child and gaslighting vs genocide and I'm sure a lot of other stuff that I'm unaware of), the emotional wounds she causes are just horrible.

Let me give you a (hopefully) very quick rundown of what's going on here (if you have any questions here's my wip intro with links to all storts of things including characters or you can always ask):

The majestic country of Galla is floating in the sky, put there by the doves themselves to protect the humans from what lies beneath. The Black swamp, a place filled with monsters, fear, and madness.

Odette at 19 years old is a triarhist, one of three future rulers of Galla. They may be humans but their powers are devine, all powerful, that exist for one purpose alone: To protect people.

She is kind, clever and compassionate. She loves her people with everything she has and even as a young child she took her duties very seriously. She is also selflessness, always willing to help another.

She would do anything to keep her people safe like she's supposed to.

Odette, when she was little, was terrified of the Black swamp, of the stories about the place. Of having to be the one who stand been it and her beloved people if it comes to that. So she came up with an idea:

Build a machine and destroy the Black swamp for good.

However, her father disapproved, saying that what she wanted to do was way too extreme, that they were safe where they were. So Odette hid her plans, deciding to bide her time until she is officially crowned on her 20th birthday.

But someone found them... and Odette had to keep them quiet.

You see, Odette has a boyfriend, another triarhist, just like her. Endre. They love each other, understand one another better than anyone.

Endre has two younger siblings: Adél, the main character (15 yo) who idolizes Odette, she wants to be just like her, and Ákos (10 yo).

Sweet, little Ákos: smart, extremely curious, but unfortunately still naive. He was bound to find a secret drawer, with Odette's plans hidden deep within. He was bound to be confused and even frightened.

And Odette looked at him. The kid she helped teach how to read... and she pushed him off the edge of Galla and he fell...

All

The way

Down

Into the Black swamp below.

Anything for her people, right?

There are many reasons I hate Odette. Tiny things that just make everything worse.

Odette is selflessness, she doesn't care what happens to her as long as her people are safe.

Her selflessness stretched so far and so so thin that her sacrifice somehow became Ákos.

And she thinks she did the right thing.

😁Now let me just list a couple of my favorite (maybe petty) reasons to hate Odette:

Why I want to trap Odette in a snow globe:

Ákos for a long time blames himself for what happened partially because Odette was so perfect.

Ákos in general is just so confused about the whole thing. It's very hard for his young mind to wrap around the fact that someone that loved him could hurt him like this.

Like I said Adél wanted to be just like Odette. Now, she will spend the rest of her life fearing that she succeeded.

Endre lost the only person who could understand what he was going through as an heir!

Ákos was wearing a cat mask that Adél made when Odette pushed him. He looked adorable and innocent, and she still did it! Seriously, how can someone look at this and hurt him:

If put in the same situation, Odette wouldn't hesitate to do it again because she thought it was necessary.

I could go on, but for the sake of simplicity here, it is.

Tldr: She looked at a kid who saw her as a big sister and went: YEEET!

Thank you so so much for this ask! It made me really happy! I hope I answered your question well enough! ❤️

[not-so-secret-bi-badge-bunny]

WIP of the day (Temp Title: Evan takes charge)

~~ I have an overwhelming desire to read fic's where Buck is more dominant because Tommy craves it. I like my premise so far but I want to know your thoughts.

Thank you for reading-Em

Tommy has always enjoyed relinquishing control when he can. Years of high stress jobs that require you to be a very fast thinker, making life versus death decisions for not only himself but his co-workers and members of the community, having to make choice after choice, questioning if it was the right one? Was there a better one to be made? Not to mention all the “what if’s” can become exhausting and dangerous if you're not actively taking care of yourself and doing what you can to avoid burnout. He always had little ways to minimize his mental load for himself. He would meal prep for a week in advance to avoid having to make one more choice after a really long shift and he kept as strict of a routine as one can with shift times changing from week to week. His days off were spent trying to recharge in between running errands and household chores. It has been a long while since he felt comfortable asking anyone to help with much of anything, let alone being so very vulnerable.  It has been a really long week filled with too many losses and not enough saves and all Tommy wants to do is let go and let all choices be made for him. He knows that he can ask Evan for help with this, he is sure he would be on board immediately, but trying to put together the words to explain what he wants is harder than he thought it would be. He knows that Evan gets off in a few hours but he doesn’t want to chicken out of asking for help. A call and worry Evan, so he sends him a text instead : “Hey Ev, do you think we could alter our plans for tomorrow? After the week I had I was kinda hoping you could help me by taking off some of the mental load while I recharge so to speak. It is ok if you're uncomfortable with the idea of doing so, we can discuss this more when you get home tonight.  Stay safe, I love you.” Evan responded back impossibly fast for being on shift  “Of course Baby, do you want me to call you so we can talk about it?”  Tommy ponders for a moment but ultimately decides that it can wait “Just call me before you leave the station. I’m ok, I promise.”  “ Ok Baby, don’t miss me too much, I will be home before you know it.” 

[msshinylemon]

Thanks for tagging me @ohhcinnybuns :D

Fanfic Writer Interview

How many works do you have on AO3?

As of now, I only 4 published works, one of them ongoing. However, I also have others that aren't currently published.

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

Who Needs Rings When You Have Potatoes? (6,209 words), General audiences, complete - childhood friends skk exchanging potatoes as a love language.

The Bridge Between Us (13,149 words), teen and up, complete - Modern au where skk meet on a bridge one night and slowly get to know each other.

Forget Me Not (2,138 words), General audiences, complete - Atsushi is sick. Dazai and Kyouka bond as he helps her find a get-well-soon gift.

Red and Blue are Complementary (6,042 words), M, ongoing - Canon compliant where skk were childhood friends

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I like seeing what readers enjoyed about my writing as well as getting to interact with them.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I haven't published any fics with an angsty ending. I love my fluff too much, although I've tried my hand at writing hurt/comfort but always with a happy ending.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Probably Who Needs Rings When You Have Potatoes? with childhood friends skk. A lot of fluff to be found with skk being sillies together. It didn't have any angst except for a tiny bit, but it was definitely the fic with the happiest ending.

Do you write crossovers?

I haven't, but I've thought about trying later down the line. For now, I'm thinking about writing an alien stage fusion but nothing posted yet.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

As far as I'm aware, I haven't. However, even if I did I would just move on.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don't write smut, but I've thought about trying. My one attempt ended with soft and emotional smut, but I prefer to mostly write fluff.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I haven't.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not exactly, but I'm currently bouncing ideas back and forth with a friend.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I like a lot of ships, but SKK has been my favorite ship for a few years now. I have a few other favorites in different fandoms, like ivantill and mizisua for alien stage, and timebomb for arcane.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I have way too many wips, but one I think I'm least likely to finish would be the Yosano in pm au, where Mori succeeded in getting her instead of Fukuzawa.

What are your writing strengths?

I tend to lean a lot into introspection, and one of my strengths would be coming up with ideas and connecting them. I love planning and outlining my stories, seeing where I can add different things, and weaving different ideas into the story.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I could do more narrative exposition and descriptive imagery. Both are something I'm working on. I'm also a slow writer, so a lot of what I write ends up as a wip.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it can be really fun, but it can sometimes get a bit too much. I use Japanese honorifics and some Japanese-originated words because it takes place in Japan.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I think I would want to write something for Ivan/Till, or for alien stage in general. I love the ships and the worldbuilding, but not sure when I would get around to do that.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Surprisingly enough, I can't choose between "Who needs rings when you have potatoes?" and "Red and Blue are Complementary". Both childhood friends aus which was fun to write. The potato fic is the one I'm the most proud of, but the canon-compliant fic is the one I'm excited to write since it's my first long fic.

@cryptid-juzou @nolongerforthetainted @spccts no pressure tho :3

[melodyonthewireless]

MelodyOnTheWireless, masterlist of works...

Main series...

This series currently consists of my main WIP, A Match Made in Hell and the first spinoff/ prequel flashback of my main OCs life before she fell and found herself in Hell, Modern Day Broadcasting. This will be updated as the series expands.

Links to these two works individually below with their summaries/ descriptions...

After being suddenly and unceremoniously taken from the land of the living, many years too soon, she finds herself thrown in at the deep end as she awakens in Hell. Trouble finding her much like it did in her early life, before she started seeking it out herself.

She had no regrets, but many secrets to keep. She struggles to accept the hospitality offered to her as she finds herself meeting the residents of a hotel, ran by the princess of Hell herself and dedicated to her naïve dream of rehabilitating sinners and allowing them to rise. She knew she fell for a reason, in death she begins to find what she never felt in life, but struggles to open up in fear that she will be rejected if her new friends truly knew her. Doubting she could ever be redeemed, knowing she wouldn't want to be, she begins to carve herself a place in Pentagram City, and in the heart of an unexpecting demon who makes her feel accepted for everything she is and understood in ways she thought was impossible. Who knew Hell could be so homely?

But Hell is Hell, and life after death is far from straightforward and challenge free here.

This is a slow burn Alastor x OC fic where the main OC is a strong match for Alastor, a witch, avenging femme fatale type who can be both brutal and soft, she is witty, guarded and very observant. Alastor has his soft moments but his competition and intrigue with the witch leads to him forming a soft spot for her. Her lore heavily features and original content and plot points are planned, this is a long fic. More spinoffs will be added over time to the series.

Modern Day Broadcasting

This is the first spinoff and is a flashback to when Sybil was alive. It currently serves as a hint into future chapters as although it is set when she was alive, it feeds into the main fic just before a future chapter and is a nice tease and a bit of a hint as to what is to come, but has no big spoilers. It is set within the timeline of the main fic and sees Sybil sat in the library of the Hazbin Hotel reminiscing over a treasured memory with her sister, Clemmy, when she joined Sybil for work experience and saw her sister work on her radio comedy. It is cute fluff and a little sad if you know the main fic.

Memento Mori

This is a complete mini fic of just six chapters and is a crossover between Hazbin Hotel and the Dead by Daylight game universe. I wrote this for a Halloween writers event and it was a joy to write! The lore and setting of the game and the series really fit well and created a unique storytelling opportunity. It is Alastor x Sable Ward and is plot with a smut ending.

Alastor finds himself in The Entity's realm and bound by new chains of servitude that he is as unwilling, as ever, to accept. With no idea how he got there, he grapples with his fate, testing the entity and incurring violent physical and mental tortures as it works to bend him to its will, as so many have been before, clinging desperately to his plan for escape as he teeters on the edge of madness.

In Hell he had a choice, he could only ever blame himself for the deal that landed the fist pair of manacles around his wrists. After all, the system of dealing in souls had benefited him far greater than it had worked to his detriment, he could respect it, even. But The Entity is not a force driven by deals, nor does it give, but only take. Beyond the fog there are no other distributions of power, only The Entity... and it hungers!

Hope you enjoy! And as always, thank you.

[starwritingbri]

20 Questions for Writers

Thanks for the tag @theblueeyedfirebender!! I appreciate it! 💙💙

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

42! (And I have a backlog of at least 10 unpublished things I'm working on)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

667,317

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Predominately, I wrote for Lockwood and Co, but recently I dipped my toes into Fullmetal Alchemist because I've had so much inspiration to work with.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Lucy's Letters

I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside

No grave can hold my body down

How to be a Heartbreaker

Coming Home to a Forgotten Melody

All Lockwood and Co fics, which tracks for now 😂

5. Do you respond to comments?

Absolutely! I always stress that my responses to comments aren't enough, but I appreciate comments so much that I absolutely want to show some of that gratitude and interact.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Most of them Somewhat kidding. I do tend to lean into an angsty ending only because you know what will come to pass if it's canon compliant, I don't feel the need to rehash it. The angstiest so far is probably she lost her sense of light, she has to hold my hand. Main Character Death will do that, but I think a whumptober fic I've got ready for Day 2 will end up topping this.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'd say a toss up between Melody and I'll Be Home for Christmas.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Once or twice, but I have a good support system. Fic hate is so wild to me because it's free work people do out of pure joy for the material. If you don't like something, just don't read it? And if you're a new writer who received hate, don't let them stop you. Someone in the world will love your story and a hater says more about that person than it does about you!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have ONE smut fic. Just the one. I've wanted to try a couple other times, most recently for smutober, but it's just not something I really enjoy doing. I just enjoy writing other things more, personally. Power to those who can/do!

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not really? Like, I'll put the characters in a different world, but I haven't written a true crossover yet.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so, but who knows? There's so much content out there.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not really, aside from a friend helping with some French phrases on a fic, but I'd be so down for it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet!!! But Bugs and I have been prepping (and she's actually managed to write some one shots) on a FMAB Soulmate AU we're planning. I'm super excited for that, and would definitely be open to working with other writers too!

14. What is your all-time favorite ship?

I don't know if I can definitively say a favorite ship, but let me tell you, my favorite ship dynamic is very clear. Couple who have copious trauma, are absolutely soulmates in every sense, but they never kiss in canon.

Royai, Locklyle, Kanej

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Gahhhh, I want to say I have every intention to finish all my fics, because I really want to, but that Harry Potter fic that was my first ever dive into fanfic... I love the character I made and how the plot of the story grew. I know how it's supposed to end. But just...HP, right? It's hard to want to go back with everything that has happened with the author and all that jazz. So it's probably never going to be finished, and that does make me sad.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Metaphors, I've been told. I think I'm also good at creating emotion with my work and bringing humanity into what I'm writing.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

How much time do we have..... Kidding, but it can be really hard to uplift your work and really easy to tear it down. I know I can get long winded, I feel like I've got phrases I overuse or that characters end up sounding the same. I'm going to stop myself before I end up absolutely unraveling my confidence here.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I did this once, and it was difficult. I ended up having a friend offer to translate for me after she read it because it came off stilted and she's a native speaker. Bless her. I would love to do more because language has always fascinated me, I just don't have the ability myself to do it the justice it deserves.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The usual for someone my age - Harry Potter. I still have a soft spot for it getting me into fanfic and helping me write even when I didn't have a lot of ideas going on.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This is so hard, but I think it has to be Coming Home to a Forgotten Melody because I'm just so proud of it. It was a NaNoWriMo fic, and I wrote like 93k words in a month. Fun fact: I've fully edited it myself to be an original work. It's been looked at fully by a couple friends and then it's with one last person with a couple chapters left before I can start shopping for agents 🙈

Going to tag: @luckylolabug, @lenacarstairspotterstewart, @polithicc, and anyone else who'd want to do it! This was fun!

[nerdieforpedro]

WIP Tag Game (The XL edition) 🤣

I was tagged by @missredherring and sure I did it earlier this week. Could I have come up with a new WIPs because my mind is never quiet? 🤐

Yes, yes, Yes I did. 😆 I’m also structuring it similar to how she had it because it spoke to me. 🤭

Current foci (because having just one is difficult as I bounce around):

1. Weddings 101 with Dieter and @angelofsmalldeath-codeine - We’re going to finish it one day or at least the next chapter. Also AO3 link.

2. Coasting through the Rainbow 🌈 - I’m half way done with chapter four of this finally. 😆 2 and 1/2 more to go! Also AO3 link.

3. Waters of Lethe - The Qimir one. Maybe 2-5 parts? We’ll see where it goes. So far only one part. AO3 link

4. Honey and Sugarplum - With Jack Daniels and an OFC. Very sweet, smutty kinda and fluffy. ☺️ AO3 link.

Excuse me Ma’am? We’re over here in the back!

1. Unnamed Fae Jack Daniel fic for Monster Smash Challenge. I did write out some Fae facts for this one and I plan to keep it…..an actual one shot?! It’s been 900 years since Nerdie’s done one of those.

2. Fifty-Six Wildflower Lane - this one with Frankie still needs an ending, then I can post it here like. Just need part number four. AO3 link.

3. Tasting Ambrosia - Ezra, ever the scoundrel nagging at the back of my brain has a small WIP. No idea where this one is going. Also trying to do drama and will he make it out sort of deal. 👀

We been waiting for our day to come for so long:

1. Travel to You - A sweet and maybe a little obsessive Javi G? He’s adorable, has golden curls and can shoot those clay bird things down accurately so, totally fine. Have discord and FFXIV references, very nerdy. 🤣 AO3 link.

2. Therapy for the Well-Adjusted - Marcus Pike and Imani are finally going on that date. Or do they? Maybe they go somewhere else? Also AO3 link.

3. A Safe Place for Us - Dieter and Aisha continue to sort their feelings and trying to make a baby. What could go wrong? Also AO3 link.

4. Green Shop of Memories - that Marcus Moreno AU where I made him a wizard/warlock that owns a cafe. 😘 It’s all sad, and cute. Plus it has fairies and a Magic Council. Also fake dating? AO3 link.

5. Kissed by the Sun - I had an idea that Oberyn Martell was a son or descendant of Apollo and he pissed off Venus (Aphrodite if ya nasty) and was barred from his soulmate being able to interact with him other than his voice. Because…..I read too many Marcus A fics that kept referencing Roman gods. 🫡 AO3 link

6. Din’s in the Neighborhood- Modern Din AU that has him meet on OFC DV survivor post divorce. Also Grogu is a human boy and we have Finn/Poe. There’s also Johnnie Mae and Luke that are just together? No one’s asking and I don’t think either of them would given an answer. 😆 So many cameos and randomness, so little time. Side notes: I gave Din tattoos, Obi-Wan is a children’s author and there’s a Jedi Law & Order show. Also AO3 link.

7. Fire and Fury - Pero and Calista’s story likely has two more parts. Complete with smut, more fighting, a bathtub (I promised @avastrasposts that one) and they’ll get their revenge! But what happens after? Also AO3 link.

8. Hands of God - This could be a long one shot or I might have to split it up. The Marcus Acacius fic that @soft-persephone and @megamindsecretlair “gently suggested” that I write. I did start it. 👀 There will be some infidelity, plots, murder and a coup. Also a dash of smut just for seasoning. And maybe a subby Marcus A? Can I do it? Only time and Marcus’ sash will tell.

9. Front Office Adjunct - One of two Dave York fics. ☺️ Dave blackmails on OFC into working for him. Things appear to be stacked in his favor, but are they? This one is a slow burn one, enemies to lovers maybe? Also espionage, murder, violence, smutty and bad behavior. Just bad. 👀🤫 AO3 link

She hasn’t touched us in so long:

Pleasure Principle - The first series I ever started anywhere. Has Dave York in a toxic working on making it better relationship with an OFC. I’ll finish this one someday. 😭😭 Also AO3 link.

Uncomplicated Mi Amor - The fic where I swore I was going to have something sweet for Javier Peña. Which it is, I just haven’t finished it. 👀 Also I will finish someday. Also AO3 link.

Roc & Doc - A Tim Rockford crime series with an OFC ME that is my love letter to the likely thousands of hours I’ve spent watching crime procedurals or listening to true crime podcasts. Also AO3 link.

Some have just AO3 links, I haven’t gotten around to putting them on Tumblr yet and some are in both places. A few just exist in notes. 🗒️ I should also never look through my WIP this in depth again. This thing is very long. 🤣🤣🤣

NPT because you may have already done it but I described things this time around. 🙌🏽

@schnarfer @maggiemayhemnj @lotusbxtch @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @604to647

@inept-the-magnificent @connectioneverywhere @for-a-longlongtime @lady-bess @tinytinymenace

@perotovar @julesonrecord @yourcoolauntie @clawdee @magpiepills

@trulybetty @rhoorl @grogusmum @syd-djarin @sin-djarin

@harriedandharassed @missladym1981 @jolapeno @pedrospurplerain @alltheglitterandtheroar

@movievillainess721 @notapradagurl7 @bishtrouille @fhatbhabiee @secretelephanttattoo

@gasolinerainbowpuddles @din-cognito @djarins-cyare

[rockyroadkylers]

It's Friday night here, so I'm kicking off my weekend with a

Weekend WIP Game!

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more).

Someone tagged me to do this last time, but I just felt like doing it this time because it's been over a year and my list has changed drastically so... I guess I'm starting a fresh tag chain 😂 I don't know who created this game, but thanks to whoever did, because these are fun questions!

1. WIP List:

(in no particular order)

The Paris trip outtake (Flower Fic 'verse)

Loverboy Henry (the one where he woos Alex)

Oxford Boys

Omegaverse Rejection Sickness AU

Omegaverse Rejection Sickness AU Prequel

Single All The Way AU

Dad Alex AU

Hanahaki AU

Childhood Friends Sequel

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

Hanahaki AU, I think, but Dad Alex is catching up fast!

Edit: lmao, just kidding, Dad Alex AU has like 8k on Hanahaki AU so far, prose-wise. I had to check the actual word counts because I haven't looked at Hanahaki AU in a while, but I've been working on Dad Alex AU a lot lately, so that makes sense.

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

Hard to tell; it always is, at this point. The outline for Hanahaki AU is around 18k. Dad Alex's outline is about 10k. The sequel for It's Nice To Have A Friend is going to be long, too, but I'm nowhere near close to finished outlining that, yet. But the size of the outline doesn't necessarily indicate how long the fics themselves will be; it just means I included a lot of detail so I don't confuse myself when I get around to actually writing the scenes I have planned.

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

Currently, I'm really enjoying Dad Alex. It's not completely angst-free, but what angst is there is generally pretty quickly resolved, because I can't stand to draw out conflict and drama when there's a little kid involved. This AU is sort of my escape, right now; it's lighthearted and sweet, and that's exactly what I need, right now.

(I've also been enjoying writing my New Year's fic, but I literally just finished writing that, so it's not really a WIP anymore lmao)

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

Hanahaki 😂 it's a huge project, and so many people have been excited about it for so long, myself included, i'm worried that it won't live up to the hype that's been built up around it. Plus it's such an intense concept, sometimes I just sit and look at it like "oh my god, what the fuck" 💀 like yeah, it has a happy ending, but it takes sooo long to get there. I promise it will be worth it, though!

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

Maybe Single All The Way? Because I proposed that concept as a potential holiday fic idea and it won the poll I put out a couple months ago, and I do like it, but I ended up losing steam on it pretty quickly. I started thinking, am I doing this because I want to, or because everyone else wants me to?

It might have just been bad timing, there was some other life stuff going on around that time that kind of made me not want to work on the fic, but I haven't really looked at it since October.

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

I have a very lovely beta ( @44whispers muah 🥰) for Hanahaki AU! They also look over some of my other stuff from time to time, but most things I just edit myself lol. It's not like I don't have the time 😂

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

Oh, absolutely. Why do you think it's taken me this long to get started on the INTHAF sequel? Why do you think Hanahaki AU has taken this long? Why do you think I've posted three fics this year, none of which have been even remotely related to anything I was talking about beforehand? 😂

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

I don't think any of my WIPs have OCs yet... Alex will have an OC doctor in Hanahaki AU, of course, but I haven't picked a name for her yet because I haven't written any of her scenes. I think y'all will like her, though, she's absolutely not gonna take any of his shit.

...

oh my fucking god

ISA IS AN OC

DAD ALEX IS AN AU FOR A REASON

DO YOU EVER GET SO ATTACHED TO SOMETHING YOU'VE CREATED THAT YOU FORGET IT WASN'T PART OF THE ORIGINAL MATERIAL

I'm not editing that answer, that was a spectacular brain blip 🤣

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

I still don't really write smut 😂 My New Year's fic is probably the sexiest thing I've written, and it's all still mostly implied. But, again... that's not a WIP anymore. It's just also not posted 😅 Other than that... the Paris fic or Oxford Boys might give it a try? Dad Alex AU will have a couple scenes where Henry and Alex get intimate, but that fic mostly focuses on family. The rest are either T or G, or too far into the hurt/comfort/whump categories to get too sexy 😅 (Though, in the case of Hanahaki, that's not for lack of trying on Alex's part.)

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

Hanahaki. No question. The Rejection Sickness fics are gonna tug at your heartstrings, but they're not gonna drag it out nearly as much as Hanahaki.

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

Hmm... That's a good question tbh. Probably one of the longer ones, like Hanahaki or Dad Alex, but... characterization is one of the main things people compliment when they comment on my fics and there's no way to not make that sound like a flex 🤣

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

I still don't know what this means 😅

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

Hanahaki, probably. It's been a few months since I've actively worked on it, but I have not forgotten how much effort I put into that outline, lmao. That was MONTHS of work, going back and forth with my beta, working out plot holes and having sudden middle-of-the-night realizations that I had figured out a scene that had been stumping me for weeks. That 40-page outline is a thing of beauty.

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

Currently... Probably Dad Alex 😂 Idk why, I feel like it should probably be Hanahaki, but... 🤷‍♀️ maybe it's because Dad Alex is a little easier to write?

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

Maybe sometimes. Just vaguely Firstprince-shaped dreams once in a while that bear resemblance to things I write about, which makes sense because the things I write about come from my brain and so do my dreams 😂

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

I mean, yeah, Hanahaki AU is complicated as fuck 🤣 So many things in that fic are like... none of this would have to happen if Alex made even slightly different choices, but he's Alex, so he doesn't.

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

Ooh! Maybe the "Loverboy Henry" fic. That's the one where he takes Alex on a date after Alex gets stood up, and Alex thinks he's just doing it to be nice but Henry is doing everything in his power to make Alex realize that it's a real date. It's miscommunication at it's finest and it's so ridiculous because everything Henry is doing to try to woo Alex is working but Alex thinks Henry is just being a good friend.

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

A couple of them will, yes! Hanahaki AU and Rejection Sickness AU and the childhood friends sequel will all at least briefly contain outsider POVs.

Edit because I somehow missed the second half of this question: Rejection Sickness prequel will focus a lot on Oscar having to face the consequences of his actions following the divorce, mending his relationship with his kids and earning back their trust.

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.

There's gonna be a scene in Oxford Boys where Henry has a drunk white girl "can I tell you a secret" moment and tells Alex he loves him but I haven't decided what happens the next morning 😅 Will Henry pretend he doesn't remember anything? Will he run away and ghost Alex? Will he confront his fears and talk it through? Who knows 🤷‍♀️ not me!

A tag per WIP

@affectionatelyrs, @cricketnationrise, @wordsofhoneydew, @songliili, @gay-flyboys

@anincompletelist, @gayrootvegetable, @everwitch-magiks, @hgejfmw-hgejhsf

[alwaysvivid]

𝐝 𝐮 𝐥 𝐜 𝐞 𝐭

sweet and soothing in all aspects especially in regards to a voice. delightfully pleasant.

PLOT chan is beyond sweet, he’s everything sora has ever wanted and more. she can feel herself falling for him but that was never part of the plan.

CHARACTERS lee sora ˒ bang chan & im changkyun

﹙ mentions kelsey @inter-stellar-jyp.⠀﹚

WORD COUNT 3.7k

GENRE angst ft some smut

PLAYLIST s o r a.

﹙ send in songs that remind you of sora.⠀﹚

a/n i haven’t written in literally 2+ years & it’s unedited so please PLEASE be nice to me. i’m proud to finally be writing again and trust there’s many more wips to come !

[ sept. ‘19 ]

sora needed a distraction and she needed it fast.

she hadn’t realised how far she had fallen until it was too late, until she found herself waking up in chans arms for the 9th consecutive morning. She had lived in chan’s dorm - and skin- for over a week , and yet she still wanted more. she could stay with him forever.

both vivid and stray kids were on vacation leaving chans dorm empty and sora available to keep him company. the vacant dorm allowed them to play house the full 2 weeks, ignoring the fact that they had barely even admitted having anything more than a sexual attraction to each other. within those walls they were soulmates who couldn’t be separated for even a second, she loved him and he loved her and they lived happily ever after.

they get to play pretend.

when it came to sora she had 1 golden rule that she made sure she never broke no matter what and that was don’t stay the night. waking up together was too intimate , that was how it started to get complicated. the domestic cuddles and sweet performing kisses always warped the boundaries of their relationship and sora did not have the energy for any of that. she just needed passion and attention then to be walked to the door and never spoken to until the next time she needed a warm body at night. she had become an expert in the game , and that was because she never broke her number 1 rule. but yet there she was day after day draped in one of chans oversized hoodies, hugging his back as he made her scrambled eggs just the way she liked them.

there werent words that could accurately explain how she felt about chan, the closest word she equated it to was obsessed, she was absolutely obsessed with every little detail about him. on the rare mornings that she woke up before him she found herself watching as the sun streamed through the miniscule gap between his curtains. she’d lie cramped into his bunk bed staring at him. she would watch the way his lashes fluttered ever so slightly against his soft pink cheeks. she should be embarrassed by how long she spent just looking at him, but to her own concern she did not care. she attempted to snuggle even closer to him as she connected every freckle on his face. his freckles were all faint and easily missed but sora noticed them early on. she would count every single one of his moles, they were only visible when she was this close to him. he had 7 scattered across his face. chan was a breath taking type of beauty, you don’t even realise you hadn’t taken a breath in 5 minutes until you’re passed out conveniently in his arms.

every time she’d sense him stirring beside her she’d act as if she had been asleep just like him, only to be ‘“woken up” by chans soft lips on her forehead and his rasp filled whisper of “good morning.”

every morning and every night she’d wait in anticipation for the gentle touches that always grew rougher , the sweet kisses that escalated until they were desperate and deep. she was obsessed with the way he’d look at her just before she came , like she was his absolute favourite thing to ever exist. her brain would fog as she begged for a kiss , his hands tightly gripping at the flesh of her thighs as he pulled her impossibly closer. He always whispered the prettiest words in that moment. sora sometimes felt like he kissed her like he actually was in love with her , like he was just as obsessed as she was

when people spoke about butterflies, sora never imagined them to be so overwhelming and nauseating. yet ,her heart never let her get up and leave thus stopping the weird stomach flutters. it all felt so real, she almost believed it too be real, almost. sora liked to believe she wasn’t delusional enough to think they actually were anything more than fuck buddies. but there she was lying awake almost every night hoping one day he’d roll over and say the words that scared her the most.

and that was delusional.

sora needed to feel grounded again, she had been floating for far too long she was losing herself. she had to get him off her mind and out of her system. she needed a distraction or maybe a reality check , whichever came first. bottom line was whatever she needed, she needed it immediately before her delusions lead to heartbreak and betrayal once again. which is all to explain how she found herself pressed against the door of a random club bathroom ,changkyun thrusting into her with the birthday dress he’d bought bunched at her waist.

the details of everything that lead to the current events hadnt yet registered in her brain. Somewhere between her tequila shots and martinis she found kelsey and asked for the tiny pill she knew she always had. honestly the details were lost in her brain but at least she wasn’t counting the moles on chan’s face.

“missed this. missed you.” changkyuns words came out choppy and muffled, his rambles almost incoherent due to his head being buried deep in her neck.his lips barely lifted from her skin as he spoke.but his words felt empty, he didn’t mean it and he didn’t bother trying to act like he did. at least chan felt genuine when he’d say the same thing , whether he actually was was a whole different story.

the bass boomed so loud that sora felt it against her back, the white wood doing very little to mute the music blasting on the other side nor was it any good muffling the obnoxious sound of skin slapping together. if anyone was within ear shot they knew exactly what was going on in the tiny-dirty- bathroom. it also didn’t help that changkyun decided to be particularly loud that day.

“you miss me too baby?” he lifted his head to make eye contact, his eyes dark and hooded. sora lifted a hand to brush the hairs sticking to his forehead to get a better look at him. he looked as good as she remembered. same sharp features she used to drool over, his stare just as hypnotizing as the last time, his dick filling her just the way it always did. there was a reason changkyun had sora under a spell for years, he was addictive.

sora nodded her head yes as her thumb dragged along his bottom lip pulling it down ever so slightly. changkyun had truthfully barely crossed her mind for the past 2 months but she agreed, hoping it would boost his ego and have him finish faster. changkyun chuckled as he nosed the strap of her dress until it fell off her shoulder, giving him just enough room to properly sink his teeth into her clavicle. “say it.” he demanded.

“missed you too.”

some twisted part of sora really did miss him. there really was something so familiar about the whole experience: the hollow feeling in her chest that she’d self medicate with alcohol and fickle relationships, the way every moment melted into each other as the bass of the speakers had her ears ringing, the way that changkyun looked at her and how their bodies moved together on the dance floor and the rushed kisses and movements against any surface they could find. even the emptiness of his words left some odd nostalgia in her.

she missed the way he would push her into the mattress till she felt like she disappeared, the shot of dopamine she’d get when he’d finally text her after disappearing for almost a month. changkyun kept her on her toes, had her wanting more every time. sora was never bored when it came to him, she never knew what to expect. the never ending excitement was also their downfall, the instability becoming all she knew.

sora wasn't stupid, she knew changkyun wasn’t good for her no matter how deeply in denial she was. she was aware it wasn't healthy to always leave his place feeling like a shell of herself, like it a piece of her was left behind . it left that ache in her chest that she grew accustomed to. but that was exactly what she needed, to be consumed by his meaningless touches, and let herself sink into the door. maybe then she’d wake up from the deluded dream she was living in with chan.

changkyun kissed up sora’s neck, pausing to bite into the flesh just under her jaw. chan usually sucked that spot. she couldn’t help but whimper ,slowly refocusing on the man in front of her. the tips of her long acrylic nails dug into his broad shoulders - chan was broader. she whimpered loudly as he started to suck on her neck harshly, definitely trying to leave a mark. he wanted everyone - chan - to know.

the words that changkyun whispered against the shell of soras ear didn’t register but she reacted by arching her back nonetheless. she used to fiend for moments where changkyun paid her this much attention but now all she could do was compare him. sora tried her hardest but she couldnt push away the sound of chans voice calling her pretty. she felt the ghost of his finger raking through her hair in the morning. she could feel him kissing her like he loved her. sora felt her eyes fill with tears as she forced them shut. trying to make the image of chan disappear. how did she let it get this far? why did she let anyone have this much of an effect on her. she hated it. she hated him and his stupid sweetness.

changkyun sped up at the sight of sora’s teary eyes , assuming it was his doing.

“feel that good baby ?”

sora didn’t reply just lulled her head back as the tears rolled down her cheeks taking her liner with it. it always smudged , it never lasted until the end of the evening.

she let out a small hum to appease him and it appeared to be exactly what he wanted.

“that’s right, better than that stupid boyfriend of yours?” he grumbled as he grabbed her jaw , his grip forcing her to face him. sora opened her eyes staring directly into his.

“i don’t have a boyfriend.”

her sentence came out short, her lack of breath abd already emotional state had her on edge. changkyun chuckled as his thumb pulled at her bottom lip jus as she had done earlier smudging her already messy lipstick. he pushed his thumb into her mouth slowly. “thought i lost you for a moment but you’re still mine. all mine.”

sora distracted him by sucking on his finger just as she’d always done. his eyes focused on her mouth as his thrusts sped up. she hated when changkyun said she was his. he’d go on and on about her being his but he was never hers. he made sure she knew that.

“i’ve never seen the point in exclusivity, no one keeps to it. someone always ends up lying to the other and cheating. just resentment and hatred everytime. why deal with all the rules and complications of relationships when you could just get what you want and leave.” the words once repeated to sora years ago rung loud in her ears as she tried willing away the tears.

changkyuns grip on her waist grew tighter as the strength that kept her up against the wall faltered slightly. “fuck, can i cum inside?”

“no.” she spoke quickly much to changkyuns surprise, she always let him cum inside.

sora tapped on his arm signaling for him to let her down. changkyuns face remained puzzled as he lowered her to her feet, the jelly state of her legs was the last thing on her mind. sora fell to her knees in the least elegant way possible, a bruise was sure to blossom in the morning. she tucked her hair behind her multi-pierced ear before opening her mouth slightly for changkyun to cum in. with a loud huff he tugged his fist up and down his shaft as he placed the salty tip on her tongue. his orgasm came in hot white spurts accompanied with changkyuns grunts. sora was thankful only a little bit got on her cheek, she really wasn’t in the mood for a full facial.

changkyun let out a soft sigh as he attempted to level his breathing. he watched as she crawled on the floor towards to roll of toilet paper, taking a bit and wiping at the sides of her mouth in an attempt to look presentable again. changkyun took note that she used to lick it up and open her mouth to prove she swallowed it all.

the tiny bathroom fell silent in a way that wasn't comfortable, it was agonizing. the sound of changkyuns zipper was all that could be heard in the small confines on the room. loud knocks filled the room as both their heads snon the door.

“just a minute.” sora yelled , surprised her voice wasn’t as horse as she thought it would be. she took a deep breath using one hand on the cool tiles of the wall and the other on the lid of the toilet for leverage to lift her up to her feet. despite being slightly unstable she managed to get up and look at herself in the grimey mirror.

sora looked at her reflection for far too long , she could feel changkyun staring at her in confusion. she couldn’t look away , the girl in front of her felt almost foreign. she hadn’t felt or looked like this in months and she didn’t like it yet she felt she deserved it. this is what girls like sora do. they don’t play house with sweet boys. they get get fucked in disgusting club bathrooms.

sora never felt like anything. she was just hollow and destructive. everything she touched felt like it was destined to fall apart.everytime anything felt good it would end leaving sora even more empty than she was before. a fun time until they get bored and move on to the next one. the constant rotation taking a piece of her until she had nothing left. the girl in the reflection looked hollow even with tears stains she looked devoid of emotion, devoid of a heart.

chan was good and kind and sora didn’t deserve all the good he had in him. she would ruin him just like she ruined everything else in her life. she didn’t want to ruin him but she couldn’t imagine leaving him. the come down was always more intense than the high and sora was feeling it. it was like withdrawals but from a person. she couldn’t breathe. fucking changkyun didn’t even work. she couldn’t escape him, her old ways weren’t working. there was no escaping anymore she was too deep in and her heart was doomed.

the knocks against the door were louder the second time pulling sora out of her haze. with a huff she swung the door open not even warning changkyun as she stood staring blankly, “oh my fucking god, here have the bathroom! fuck!” she pushed past the girl as they exchanged looks. sora could tell that she said something back but she didn’t care, she needed to get out of there. changkyun followed behind her as she walked off. fixing his hair as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder forcing her to stop in her tracks.

“we off to my place then?” sora kept walking as she felt his words like a weight on her chest. she couldn’t do it.

nothing. sora felt, heard, smelt and had nothing. the loud beating of her heart was the only thing reassuring her that she was, in fact, alive. she didn’t feel alive, she hadn’t for a long time.

taking deep breaths in through her nose sora tried to shut her brain up. she was spiraling she could feel it, but no matter what exercise she did that her new psychiatrist had taught her she couldn’t shut up her brain. her thoughts growing louder as her breathing became more labored.

“wait sora-“

before she even processed anything sora was walking. there were indistinct voices as she moved. it was as if they were screaming after her trying to get her to stop as she exited the club. she couldn’t tell who it was specifically,everything was blurred. she didn’t listen to them all she cared about was that she had to get out. the smoke filled room was suffocating her.

sora blinked slowly to adjust her eyes from the red neon lights to the dim street lamps along the road as she walked down it. she barely knew where she was going or what she was planning to do when she got there but she was moving and there was no stopping her. only after walking for some time did sora register that she didn’t have shoes on. they were definitely left in the bathroom but she didn’t care, at least she was out.

sora’s feet moved on their own accord,her mind still foggy. she couldn’t process where she was but it was familiar enough that even her overwhelmed and high mind was directing her somewhere.

her breath was still shaky and uneven as she stared at the same door she had walked out of just hours before. with whatever energy she had left she lifted her hand to hit her knuckles against the wood.

“sora?” the voice was soft yet strong. chan. she walked back to his dorm. she knew she hadn’t gone far when she left for the club. sora felt so embarrassed her stomach turned, why did she study the route from the club? she paid so much attention that even as fucked up as she was she still managed to somehow get herself back to the person she was running away from.

she didn’t reply, she couldn’t. his face was painted with concern yet he looked just as beautiful as she remembered. her beautiful boy. “come on let’s get you back inside where it’s warm and dry,” he spoke softly and slowly, not wanting to cause anymore damage than what was already done.

sora hadn’t even realized that it had been raining. her mind was too busy to notice that her body was soaking wet. she must’ve looked a mess , the tear stained look she had early barely compared to the state she was in now.

she tried to focus on his words and process what he was saying but the sound of her own heart beating in her ears drowned out anything and everything around her. the silence that filled the dorm was so loud sora thought she might scream. it felt like it was crushing her . why of all places was she there, with chan in his arms shaking. chan’s hands softly stroked her hair bringing her back to him. her breathing mimicked his as he attempted to help her as best as he could.

sora took a deep breath and allowed herself for the first time in months to feel at ease. she could feel him press his lips on her cheek like he always did when he tried to soothe her. it worked. she couldn’t understand why or how but chan never failed to make her feel at ease.

“you’re okay .” chan repeated in a whisper, continuously stroking her hair soothingly. sora forced herself to believe it even just for the night

in that moment chan didn’t care to ask where she had been or who she was with or where her shoes were or why she walked in the rain at 4am. he had to help her. he gently removed her makeup and changed her out of her soaked dress, his large sweatshirt engulfing her and surrounding her with his comforting scent again.

sora held him tightly that night, she pushed away the thoughts that she needed to leave, run away before the inevitable heartbreak. her heart was swelling and thumping the way she knew was dangerous,she was in love. and for the first time in years sora let herself feel everything. every nauseating butterfly, sickeningly soothing kiss to her face and headache inducing heartbeat; all of it. she wanted it all.

sora was in love and it was terrifying.