#this happens to me nearly daily.
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you ever just.
#brief blorbo Fugue StateTM#i can't be the only one#this happens to me nearly daily.#my art#artists on tumblr
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was genuinely in a haze drawing this
#it was like 3 in the morning i had a mission or something#i think that this would be one of the first things to happen after the events of the game though.#i cant tell you how often i think of this. i dont even know if the writers intended him to be so autistic#he is absolutely the funniest character to me#gets in your party. explicitly says “small talk has never been my forte”. instead infodumps about biology in nearly every conversation.#i didnt think i had this much to say in tags but i always need to mention the absolute impression this guy gives off#especially on a 2nd playthrough given [SPOILERS] but i digress. if its not obvious i think of him the most. we need to kill him with hammer#crosscode#daily crosscode#c'tron#toby tremblay
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daily whistlebreeze until spo becomes PoV day 1398
I like seeing how different I can make gray cats by throwing Whis at them; anyways, Spotfur's been on my mind tonight
#warrior cats#whistlebreeze#spotfur#windclan#medicine cat#warrior#mostly thinking about all the potential she has that was never really used#how Spotfur's rebellion flopped so badly by being Like That#and how she literally stopped existing in ASC#woman has a COMPLICATED relation with having children because her mate died#next arc she's just a generic queen#goddamn these books piss me off sometimes with how neglectful they are about their characters#and it's not like this surprises me. Let's remember I am DAILY WHISTLEBREEZE#I have been drawing a random nobody for nearly four years now and you can still barely give anything Specific about Whis from the books#yeah FrostWhistle. Whis is kind and helpful and they saved each other and it's cool#yeah Ivypool's heart is a thing#but does it really characterise Whis in any interesting way whatsoever?#in my opinion not really no#I've searched fro every instance of Whis appearing on screen and it's mostly Whis being thrown around by the plot or the other cats#or by a fucking rabbit#a few cool things you can say is how Determined Whis was to save Leafkit. that's something#and you could also say that Whis prioritising helping Frost above obeying The Code is something too#but you have to Extrapolate all of this#the books don't give you any insight on what's going on in Whis' mind#and they won't#and that's what they do to most cats in their books#and we all know it and we all just see canon happen and then take the bits that interest us and make it Better#and yeah Spotfur is one of those cats that would really enjoy that treatment#Spotfur has drama on both a political level and interpersonal one (Bris Stem her kits and even her siblings just fucking off n stuff)#and they made her such a weak character by giving us Spotfur's rebellion
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;~; (tags vent)
#i feel so lonely and i dont know how to fix it#im trying to engage with people. im trying ot take space. im trying but nothing is helping#and like im hormonal so i wanna cry about it today#and like this loneliness isnt for one reason only#there's no One Thing#but so so many things making me feel like i cant connect#and even wiht making progress and even with coping and even with reminidng myself its okay to just feel bad sometimes like#i want company. i dont want online company i want irl company. i want friends. and im so miserable about the fact that i struggle to#make irl friends - not bc im not a good friend!! honestly tehre's been plenty of opportunities for me to make friends is the worst part#between work; disabilities; energy; and like interests/things to talk about its really hard to make friends (and tbh the first three-#really are the biggest drains). and i love my online friends i do i jsut. miss them all so much when i talk too much and then it hurts more#and i lost a friend group recently so im feelng really out of place#nearly everyday for the last idk. 5 months i had a group of people going “hey. love you” (even if they didnt say it verbatim daily) and lik#im so sad! and the feelings are coming out today ig cause i havenothing to do at work so im just. here#but yeah - ik part of this grief im experiencing is YET AGAIN experiencing change and loss re:friendships bc of things largely out of my#control /: and every time this happens it just brings up every single wound#im talking with my therapist about it too i just. wish friends were more permanent in my life yk?#or at least that i had friends irl still /: but all my deepest connections are all So far away#and it hurts so much to miss ppl rn im just. isolating myself#but i dont awnt to TALK. i dont want to TEXT. i dont want to hang out on a vc. i awnt to be held and loved and just talked to about anythin#other than the stresses in peoples lives. i want people to infodump to me w/o me having to Beg or Engage Correctly#i want people to tell me about themselves. jsut fucking lore dump in my inbox. its not dumping. i dont care about trauma dumping. if you do#cw i guess i jsut. im so tired. im tired of the “haiiiiii love you!!!!!” i have to do over the keyboard to have social connections#im tired of being so disabled i cant make friends bc no one wants to be friends w/ me irl and all the reasons (“ur a flake” “u cancel plans#“u never want to go out” “u never have energy” “why do you disappear when you need to recharge it makes me feel bad?” etc etc etc) all#relate to me being disabled and like.i feel like the problem. my existence is a problem. and the worst part is all iwant to do is just.#go run errands with someone. do important tasks &get a little treat to celebrate after. go to the doctor. the hospital. wherever im allowed#i want ot be a PERSON#): i jsut miss my friends#and liek im going to a thing later this month to try and make friends irl even if its just exercise friends
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daily writing update
ivory rain: 2,823
ivory rain total: 56,918
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Do you ever listen to a podcast and you hear some of the coldest takes you’ve ever heard in your life (I’m talking colder than the heat death of the universe) and the little devil on your shoulder says you should start a podcast to just tell these poor souls why they are so disgustingly wrong about every topic they chat about but the little angel on your other shoulder tells you to just move on and hold strong, to not give in to the desire to make a podcast??
Is that just me??
#shenzi rambles#I tell my darling on nearly a daily basis that I want to make a podcast but he keeps me on the straight and narrow#I just want to talk about whatever and critic all these idiots that have just God awful takes about everything#I am testing a new podcast to see if I’ll like it and it’s not been good to me#it’s mainly two dudes they will sometimes have other people on too#but they’re all super sleazy they will just sleep around to sleep around#and then they wonder why all the women they interact with and have relationships with are all crazy#like my brother in Christ#do you see your habits???#no self respecting woman would deign to give you the time of day#you’re sleeping around constantly so of course you’re not going to find someone who wants to settle down#or someone who wants to stick with you no matter what happens#you are gonna get women that just want sex and are nuts#like#when you add 2 and 2 you get 4 every time
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I feel like I've been walking around for months with a constant stress level of like 8 for no reason at all
#it's just exhausting#like the tiniest little thing will just set me off#and it happens nearly daily#and I don't know why I'm like this and I don't know how to make it better#personal
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does anyone know if the feeling of loneliness ever goes away
#i just…#ever since i was a kid i’ve just felt so. alone#i had friends but. school friends.#friends who were friends just because we happened to see each other every day#i didn’t really have any friends that i talked to outside of school#and even now with my best friend and girlfriend who i talk to nearly every day#hang out with daily and i know they love me and#still i have the worst sense of loneliness#i’m quite sure i could be in a room surrounded by loved ones and yet. the feeling that i. am. alone. would overwhelm me#and it’s strange and feels like something i should have outgrown because i feel like a lonely kid who’s been excluded#so tell me. does that feeling ever go away?#personal
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I hope i get my Dad's silver hair when I get older, it looks really cool and i think it'd feel a bit like carrying a piece of him with me always
#orion rambles#it's so so weird to see growing old as something that will happen to me#for so long i thought I'd die before like 25 but that's just around the corner. I'm turning 23 soonish and I'm not going to die#i don't really want to die anymore#and that's such a big overwhelming thing#despite the horrors of the world i want to be here to see the good parts#ro see my sister become an adult#to watch my cousins and friends get married#to maybe get a long term partner(s) and take care of children of my own someday#it's just#the medication i was put on about a year ago for my migraines is technically an antidepressant that is commons used for hard to treat cases#of depression and. it's working like noticably#it's not perfect and maybe if i was on a higher dose of it or had another antidepressant and an antianxiety med added to my mix of daily#medication I'd feel even better. like a normal person is supposed to#but the weight of the world doesn't hang so heavy on my shoulders nearly as often anymore#and that's an amazing thing#so here i am crying in my dorm room at 2:30 am when i need to be awake at 8 because i want to live#I'm graduating in the fall#I'm going to miss this place and everything and everyone that I'll possibly lose contact of when i leave but it'll be a new chapter of life#and though I'm normally terrified of change I'm also a bit excited to#*too#going to eat a snack tgen shower and sleep#see y'all on the other side#if you're reading this i hope you are doing good and that life is treating you kindly#take care of yourself#<3
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I forgot that taking my migraine medication results in me being knocked out for a good 10-12 hours
That shit’s potent
#it’s because I’m not used to it anymore and i know that#i used to have to take it every night but eventually I saw a doctor who said ‘hm. that aint right’ and told me to only take it as needed#pro: I have to buy medication less#con: I am unavailable for a whole day because I am a sleepy bitch#my migraines aren’t nearly as frequent as they used to be but dear lord when they hit they hit HARD#they used to be literally daily and they’d last for HOURS at a time#to the point I missed like almost a year of school#so having them now as Infrequently as they happen is a lot better
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Help save Bilal's family!
i want to talk about my friend Bilal @bilal-salah0. for over a year now, Bilal has been living in germany, trying to adjust to his new living situation in a foreign country, learning a new language and working full time.
when the war started, he was far away from home and his family and has been living in daily fear for their lives ever since.
being forced to work long hours and promoting his family’s fundraiser at the same time, he has taken on more responsibility than anyone ever should. still, he managed to raise money for their evacuation fund and helped take care of his family’s daily needs with the money he was making while working.
in a cruel twist of fate, all of this got taken away in an instant. he lost his job and his apartment and even his residence permit. which means he is at danger of deportation from germany that could happen as soon as next week!
i have been in daily contact with Bilal for a while now and connected him with some of my friends in germany. together, we are trying our utmost to make sure he can stay in the country. anyone who knows german bureaucracy knows what kind of hell it is. but we won't give up.
without his job, he was forced to dip into the money of his family’s evacuation fund to cover their daily expenses like food and shelter. this meant he had to raise his goal from €70,000 to €100,000. this was not an easy decision for him to make, he even asked for my advice on whether or not to do it, because he did not want anyone to think he was scamming people.
even in such a desperate situation, Bilal does not want to be seen as someone who would ever take advantage of people's generosity
his family is comprised of 18 members, 10 of them are adults and 8 are children under 16 years old, some of them newborns who were born amidst the chaos of war and displacement.
currently, he is sitting at:
€71,817 / €100,000
donations have been slowing down ever since he reached his original goal. i cannot stress how important it is that they pick back up!
WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME! HE NEEDS TO REACH HIS GOAL BY AUGUST 15TH!
THAT MEANS HE HAS TO RAISE NEARLY 30K IN THE NEXT TEN DAYS. THIS CANT WAIT.
his campaign has been verified and can be found on @/el-shab-hussein’s and @/nabulsi’s list of vetted fundraisers here (#132, line 136) so PLEASE don't hesitate to share and donate.
With such a tight deadline, i cant do this on my own. So i implore you to PLEASE share this wherever you can– on your whatsapp groups, on your discord servers, please share his story on other platforms wherever you have reach! Please share his story wherever you can, so that we can ease this burden from his shoulders.
[ID: a gfm link with a picture of two small children sitting in the sand in front of a cooking pot. they are looking up a the camera, eyes half-closed. the title reads "Donate to Help Evacuate My Family from Gaza to Safety, organized by Bilal salah" End ID]
tagging for reach under the cut, please let me know if you'd like to be removed:
@meaganfoster @briarhips @dirhwangdaseul @mahoushojoe
@schoolhater @pcktknife @sawasawako
@feluka @terroristiraqis @irhabiya @commissions4aid-international @wellwaterhysteria
@deepspaceboytoy @post-brahminism @khanger @kibumkim @neechees
@mangocheesecakes @kyra45-helping-others @7bitter @tortiefrancis
@toiletpotato @fromjannah @vague-humanoid @criptochecca
@aristotels @komsomolka @xinakwans @heritageposts @nibeul
@ot3 @amygdalae @ankle-beez @communistchilchuck @dykesbat
@watermotif @stuckinapril @mavigator @lacecap @yugiohz
@socalgal @chilewithcarnage @ghelgheli @sayruq @northgazaupdates2
@vakarians-babe @wayneradiotv
@psychotic-gerard @mavigator @communistkenobi @socalgal @chilewithcarnage
@ghelgheli @determinate-negation @papasmoke @omegaversereloaded
@xinakwans @givemearmstopraywith @loombreaking @killy @deathlonging
@palms-upturned @blackpearlblast @littlegermanboy @loveaankilaq @sar-soor
@fridgebride @27-moons @tamarrud @familyabolisher @fleshdyk3
@decolonize-solidarity @palipunk @gothhabiba
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currently thinking about bakugo “it’s not that deep” katsuki.
katsuki’s got a temper that makes him more chalant than not, but when it comes to everything else the blonde is relatively…unreactive. it’s not like he tries to be that way, he just has to be. when you’re surrounded by idiots like denki & sero on a daily basis, you eventually learn to choose your fucks & allocate them wisely.
“bakugo, class 1-B’s been hogging the hero equipment—how do we train now ?”
“it’s never that deep, tape face. just go later y’dumbass”
“bakubro, i think my situationship just blocked me—“
“literally just move on. really not that serious.”
the phrase has practically become katsuki’s signature one liner. so it’s a shock when his friends make you realize you’ve never actually heard the words from his lips.
“katsuki ? and nonchalant ? in the same sentence ? you must be joking.”
mina & sero are watching outer banks with your laptop while denki & kiri glance at each other in confusion. “you’re serious? he’s never said stuff like that to you ?”
“like ever?”
“never.” you run a brush through your hair. “though i guess i could imagine him talking to you guys that way.”
“double standards go crazy” mina mumbles. “real.”
“no, guys—all hope is not lost. it could be that y/n is really rational so he never has to say it, you feel me ?”
you scoff, but denki keeps talking, “we can test this out. just get y/n to act really dramatic and see how bakugo reacts.”
sero pauses the episode, ignoring the scowl that graces mina’s lips. “fifty bucks there really is a double standard and bakugo won’t act all nonchalant.”
“fifty bucks ? that’s half my salary!”
“not my fault you work at mcdonald’s dawg. you guys in or what ?”
kiri’s quick to strike the deal on kaminari’s behalf. denki’s about to protest when the fiery blond walks in.
“disgusting. why are you all sitting around like degenerates? not you baby.”
“what happened to ‘hello, how are you?’”
“hi ‘suki.” you purr, ignoring sero. katsuki dips his head to peck your lips, a quiet ‘hey pretty’ mumbled into your cheek.
sero snaps his fingers at the display of affection. “excuse me? in front of my obx?”
“the one you’re watching with my netflix subscription?” bakugo snaps the laptop shut and mina protests with a mouth full of popcorn. you’re about to playfully defend the duo when kirishima nudges your elbow. he cocks his head towards bakugo and you understand immediately.
“katsuki,” you tug at the hem of your boyfriend’s sleeve & look into his eyes with the most tender expression you can muster. “i’m out of lipliner.”
“okay ?”
you hear a snort and you know it’s from sero.
“there’s nothing ‘okay’ about it ‘suki. i need a new one or else i’ll literally die.”
bakugo’s brows knit in confusion. “is this your way of begging me for money?” he begins to dig at his wallet and you swat his arm away.
“beg is insane.”
“i don’t need your money.” you snap. “i need my lipliner. now”
“just order—“ “now.”
“what do you mean now? it’s almost nine pm, where the fuck are you going ?”
“nowhere. i just need it.”
“do you have a fever ?” “katsuki!”
“i need it now ‘suki,” you hug your arms around his body and place your chin on his chest. “if i don’t get it right now i’m literally gonna cry.”
your lips jut into a pout. you can tell he’s about to protest so you take his palm into your own. “it’s not that—fuck. whatever. where the hell are my keys ?”
he gently nudges you off him before grabbing the car keys off the front table, a string of grumbles leaving his lips as he sets out on the side quest regardless. he shuts the door behind him & suddenly the room buzzes back to life.
“y/n your pussy cannot be that good.”
“literally what i’m saying bro.”
“ho did you use rose quartz on him ??”
“i always knew you were a witch for real.”
“this whole interaction just piss me off.”
“i’m going home. denki and kiri, you owe me fifty bucks each.”
“EACH ?”
( bonus )
it’s nearly half an hour later & katsuki isn’t back so you’re starting to get worried. sero and the gang have already left, leaving you to deal with the growing anxiety by yourself. you finally decided to text your boyfriend only to find he’s sent you several messages already:
© ─ heartkaji ; do not steal, copy, edit, translate or reupload
#✷ ─ [ 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒 ]#mha smau#mha#smau#my hero academia x reader#my hero academia#mha bakugo x reader#bakugo x reader#mha bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo#katsuki bakugo x reader#mha bakugou#bakugou x reader#bnha#boku no hero#mha fanfiction#fanfiction#bakugo katuski#bnha bakugou#bakugou katsuki#bnha bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo mha#bakugou x you#katsuki bakugou#my hero#boku no hero x reader#my hero acedamia#my hero academia fanfiction#bnha oneshot#bnha x reader
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Brain is turning itself inside out chewing on nothing but the intangible gristle of nonexistent ideas
#bruh can the ebb and flow of my creativity not be on the scale of MONTHS#I s2g December’s gonna be a proper daily drawing month#or something#I’m not nearly as happy this month and sure a lot of background shit has happened#but I do think a large part of it is not creating consistently#so I get this brain turning inside out feeling#going nowhere and nowhere all at once#me stuff
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advice for a character who grips control like a lifeline. who wants to be in charge of every little thing because whenever they're not in control of something something bad could happen. has happened. they can't let a single variable be wild or in someone else's hands
How to Write a Controlling Character
Backstory Rooted in Trauma or Guilt
This character likely has a history that has ingrained the belief that they must be in control or face devastating consequences. Perhaps they once trusted someone else with something crucial—a promise, a responsibility, or a life-altering choice—and that trust was broken in a way that had lasting repercussions. For example, maybe they lost someone because they weren’t “careful enough,” or they experienced a betrayal when they trusted another person’s plan.
They might frequently flash back to this moment, possibly catching themselves thinking, If only I’d been the one in control, this wouldn’t have happened. This memory fuels their need to keep a tight grip on everything, especially if they’re in high-stakes situations.
Rigid Daily Routines and Habits
This character’s day is probably packed with small rituals and routines that give them a sense of security. From double-checking door locks to setting multiple alarms, they rely on routines to give themselves a sense of order. In fact, they might be nearly ritualistic about small actions—checking emails three times before sending, never leaving a task halfway finished, or meticulously arranging their workspace.
Even something as simple as making coffee can become a precise process. If someone moves one of their tools or a file from their desk, they may feel a spike of frustration or even anxiety, seeing it as a disruption to their personal “system.” They could feel that control in their daily life is the only thing keeping chaos at bay.
Intensely Observant of Details and Mistakes
They are hyperaware of mistakes or inefficiencies in others, mentally cataloging things like a coworker’s slight lateness or a friend’s disorganization. They may feel a sense of superiority (or frustration) over people who don’t “have it together” and take it upon themselves to organize or “fix” things for others.
In conversation, they might cut people off or “correct” them even over small points, often justifying this to themselves as necessary. For instance, if someone shares a plan that seems half-formed, this character could immediately dive in, pointing out potential problems or filling in details.
Controlling Relationships and Social Situations
This character struggles in relationships where they aren’t the dominant or organizing force. They might instinctively take over when making plans with friends, micromanaging even casual hangouts to make sure everything goes “right.” For example, they might pick the restaurant, plan the travel route, and check weather forecasts—assuming that if they don’t, no one else will think of these things.
When someone resists their attempts at control, they can respond defensively, often turning cold or resentful, unable to understand why anyone wouldn’t want them to manage the situation. Statements like, “Fine, but don’t blame me if this doesn’t go well,” are frequent in their interactions.
Extreme Anxiety or Panic When Control Is Taken Away
When things go beyond their reach, this character might experience panic, as if they’re suddenly powerless. For instance, if an unexpected roadblock prevents them from handling a task (like a canceled flight they needed to board, or a plan that falls apart), they might spend hours trying to regain control, calling every contact or frantically exploring alternatives.
Their reaction may feel extreme to others. Even minor setbacks—such as a colleague taking initiative on a project or a friend planning something without consulting them—can trigger a disproportionate response, like clenching their fists, pacing, or silently stewing as they feel the situation “slipping.”
Inability to Accept Help or Collaboration
Their controlling nature makes it hard for them to collaborate, as they believe their methods are the only ones that work. For them, accepting help feels like an admission of weakness or failure, so they rarely delegate or ask for assistance. If they do reluctantly accept help, they are constantly supervising or “suggesting” things, making it feel more like they’re still in charge.
In a team setting, they might take on all the major tasks, either out of distrust in others’ abilities or a feeling that no one will match their standards. Their motto could be something like, “If you want something done right, do it yourself,” even if that means working late or burning out.
Reluctance to Show Vulnerability or Need
Since vulnerability and control rarely coexist for them, they avoid showing weakness at all costs, preferring to mask stress or struggles as “just part of the job.” If they do become overwhelmed, they’re more likely to shut people out, saying, “I’ve got it handled,” even if it’s far from true.
When people push them to let go or share the load, they might lash out, accusing others of “just not understanding.” They often see their intense responsibility as a form of sacrifice, justifying their behavior with, “If I don’t handle this, who will?”
#creative writing#writeblr#ask box prompts#how to write a controlling character#how to write#writing tips#writing advice#writing resources#writing help#writing reference#writing prompts#how to#writing tools#writing techniques#writing stuff
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the new girl - mattheo riddle
summary: despite their best and most ardent efforts, each of the slytherin boys gets rejected by you, and can't figure out why, not knowing that one of them holds a secret that explains it all.
word count: 1.4k
warnings: suggestive content, probably 18+ish, please read responsibly my dears.
The boys watched eagerly across the Great Hall as Enzo leaned over the table to get your attention. You looked up at him, and smiled instantly, a blush rising to your cheeks at whatever he’d said.
“Yes, mate” Blaise whispered in encouragement.
You ducked your head and curled a piece of hair behind your ear, averting your eyes demurely as he continued and Draco realized he’d stopped breathing altogether, the anticipation nearly crushing him as he moved to grasp Theo’s arm in excitement.
Finally, your eyes met Enzo’s and as you started to reply the boys’ gaze was glued to your perfect lips, wishing they could hear what you were saying as they all physically leaned forward, like it would make any difference at this distance.
Enzo rubbed the back of his head abashedly, nodding and smiling before he turned to walk back to the Slytherin table. He took several steps in his swaggering gait but his pout betrayed him as he caught their eye and shook his head subtly and they let out a collective gasp.
“Fuck!” Theo said rather loudly, garnering the attention of a few third years nearby.
“Damn it all” Draco agreed as Blaise threw down the Daily Prophet that he’d held clenched in his fist.
Enzo approached the table and slumped down onto the bench.
“She said… no” he muttered, like he was in a trance, like he couldn’t believe the words coming out of his own mouth before he shook his head. “It’s official, then, she’s impenetrable, if she’s not going to go out with me then the rest of the school is fucked.”
“Mate, who the fuck says no to all four of us?” Blaise pondered as he looked between Enzo, Draco and Theo who were all equally gobsmacked.
One of them getting rejected happened occasionally, rarely, but all four of them? It was an impossibility they’d never considered as they looked back at you like you were a unicorn. And gods if that didn’t take them down another notch because just the sight of you quickened their heartbeats; you were the new girl and you were hot, unbelievably hot. The type of girl any of them would have on their arm in an instant.
They had just started to ponder the depths of their failure when Mattheo sauntered into the Great Hall, ambling to their table and picking at the platters of food in front of him nonchalantly, totally unaware of the cataclysmic breakdown that was occurring amongst his friends.
“Well look who decided to show up” Draco sneered, shooting Mattheo a gaze with narrowed eyes. “And where’ve you been?” he asked.
“I slept in” Mattheo snapped back with an annoyed look on his face, “S’that alright with you, mother? Christ.”
“Mate you’ve been totally MIA lately—�� Blaise started before he was promptly interrupted by Enzo who was still in the heady fog of rejection as he stared at you.
“—Maybe she swings the other way?” he said. “Doesn’t even fancy a lad. That would make sense” he urged, hope rising in his voice as he glanced to his friends for reassurance.
“No, my cousin heard from his neighbor that she dated Viktor Krum” Draco said, proudly spilling tea that had eyebrows shooting up around the table.
“I heard she’s part Veela” Theo said quietly and Enzo nodded his head in agreement.
“Didn’t she come from Beauxbatons?” Blaise asked.
“Diggory told me that Potter asked her out and she said no to him too, if that’s any consolation” Theo added.
“Barely” Draco muttered darkly.
Mattheo looked around at them, perplexed until he muttered with a mouth full of food “What’reyou onabout?”
Enzo nodded his head in your direction, “YN” he said, like it was obvious. “Literally where have you been? She’s all anyone can talk about.”
Mattheo sat up a little straighter and swallowed his food so quickly he almost choked.
“What about her?” he asked.
“She’s a fucking enigma” Enzo said frustratedly. “She said no to every single one of us” he huffed.
“—What if it’s a test to see who will ask twice?” Theo asked, nearly moving to his feet to try.
“Wait, wait” Mattheo said, stopping him, his voice rising in a way that garnered their attention. “You all fucking asked her out?” his voice was a low growl that was lost in the midst of their frantic banter.
“Have you seen her?” Blaise said, grabbing Mattheo’s arm and pulling him closer to him as he gestured to you. “Fucking look at her! Merlin’s beard. I would take a bludger straight to the head for just a taste of that.”
Mattheo pushed Blaise off of him as his hands curled into fists, but his reaction was ignored as he watched them ogle you, each of them nearly drooling now at the way you were softly biting your bottom lip, twirling a piece of your hair and reading the book in front of you.
“Can we just … not?” Mattheo said, exasperated, in an effort to divert their attention from you.
“Shut up, Mattheo” Enzo snapped, his eyes never leaving you.
“How about you shut the fuck up Berkshire - just because you found one girl in the whole school who won’t suck your dick” Mattheo argued.
“What’s gotten into you?” Draco replied, his face scrunched in annoyance as he finally looked away from you to Mattheo.
“Don’t be a fucking prick just because she said no to you too” Enzo mocked. “Join the fucking party mate.”
Mattheo straightened up at the comment, shifting a bit in his seat, but remained silent.
A moment.
Two.
And the quiet is what finally got their attention. Enzo turned around slowly, his gaze peeling away from you as Draco, Theo and Blaise followed suit.
Enzo’s eyes narrowed as he leaned in.
“Riddle?” he said questioningly, accusingly.
Mattheo fidgeted again. “What?” he spat back, eyes narrowed.
“You did ask her, didn’t you?” Enzo pressed.
Mattheo thought back to the night he bumped into you in the library. It was well past midnight and he was making every effort to learn an entire semester’s worth of astronomy for his exam the next day. You had nearly collided with each other around a bookcase and as he helped you pick up the tomes that had tumbled from your hands he’d been startled by how beautiful you were, how sweet you were to him, how fucking good you smelled, like amber and vanilla, how he immediately wanted to know if your lips tasted the same way.
Within 43 minutes he knew that they didn’t. They tasted like cocoa butter, they were smooth and soft and he knew that he’d probably be thinking about the way you kissed him for the rest of his life. He also knew that you wanted to keep your tryst a secret… for now.
Mattheo came back to the present and bobbed his head from side to side noncommittally. Did I ask her out? he thought.
“Ehh” he replied. He didn’t remember a lot of talking from that night.
“Did she say YES?” Theo asked incredulously, as he leaned in.
Mattheo thought about the heat of your skin on his, the way it burned hot as he pressed you against the wall in the small broom closet this morning, hiking up your skirt. He thought about how utterly fucking perfect you felt and the way you gasped, the way he caught your mouth with his own to keep you quiet, because you wanted to keep things a secret… for now.
But for the life of him he couldn’t keep the shit eating grin off his face at the memory of it all as he shrugged.
The boys erupted.
“NO FUCKING WAY!”
“LEGENNNNNDDD!”
Theo had launched across the table and grabbed Mattheo excitedly by the front of his robes even as Mattheo laughed and swatted him away.
“Fucking Riddle” Draco said, a proud smile on his face as he shook his head.
“Well?” said Enzo as they settled back down and leaned in conspiratorially. “C’mon then, aren’t you going to tell us about it?”
“I’m dying here” Theo agreed.
“Please” said Blaise.
Mattheo smirked. “Yeah, alright, I’ll tell you” he said, motioning for them to get closer.
They leaned in.
“I’ll tell you that if any of you fucking pricks looks at her the way you were this morning, if you try to make another move on her or if you keep spewing worthless fucking rumors about her I will take deep pleasure in fucking you up in ways magic hasn’t figured out how to fix yet. Yeah?”
Each of their gazes flickered to the darkness in Mattheo’s eyes, and then slowly, quietly, they pulled back to their seats, resuming their breakfast.
ˋ°•*⁀➷ part two
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hello again! i sent the ask earlier about stuck kihyun. i actually think i'm an anon of yours... 🚇? i can't remember for sure though lol oh how i wish i could go back in time and witness monsta x's debut and be here for the entire journey. did you witness it? i too ended up going and listening to his solo music after sending my last ask. i'll have to go watch the stuck mv asap though! i'm just having a whole kihyun moment recently. he is my bias though so it's bound to happen every again, but being a multi impacts the frequency >.<
OMG subway anon!!!!!! Hi!!!! how are you??? how have you been???
no, i didn't witness their debut either (I got into them in 2018 and became a casual listener and in 2020 it became official <3) but I kind of prefer it that way... i will elaborate. for one i do no have the stomach to watch No Mercy, Even today. after watching Pentagon Maker against my better judgment i vowed to never watch an idol survival show. also tbh mx's earlier music wasn't really my taste so i probbaly wouldn't have gotten too into them anyway.
That being said, not a day goes by where I don't wish I had gotten into them sooner so I could experience being Wonho's Monbebe... like this is legitimately one of my few regrets in life: not getting to truly experience ot7.
#i was actally talking to Mira about this the other day...#like how the way mx interact with mbb totally changed after wonho leaving and the whole 2019 situation (plus covid)#random vlives in the dorms and hotel rooms without supervision never happened again#vlives became this rare occurance only for special occasions (bdays. announcements. anniversaries etc) in an office at the company-#-with managers sitting behind the camera making sure they don't say anything 'wrong'#we were actually talking abt how fanfic is dying in mx fandom and how the fandom isn't nearly as active & interactive in other areas either#and we came to the conclusion that its at least partialy due to the death of spontaneous and chaotic vlives#and the death of vlive itself☠️#those vlives created a huge part of 'funny moment' videos and 'fanfic worthy interactions' and 'giffable content'#they gave us so much to talk about and make content with#and it also gave us glimps into idols' lives outside of photoshoots and mvs where they're in full makeup and in professional mode#we got to see them be carefree and joking around with each other and mx especially had NO FILTER#plus they were free🤡 unlike these dysfunctional paid apps idols have to use nowadays with the ‘private chat’ function that was created-#-solely to satisfy one specific type of fans and make more money. even the idols complain abt how laggy and awful the apps are and yet…#but nowadays its mostly just photoshoots and MV behinds and occasionally 'travel vlogs' or ' daily vlogs'#and even those are usually a 1-person thing. like the vlogs they posted of shownu during his enlistments. they were nice. dont get me wron#but they don't have anything that memorable and lasting... as funny and etertaining shownu is even on his own#its interactions between multiple members that create those really memorable moments and memories that nearly ever1 in the fandom recognize#anyway kshfsrdh#i ranted once again ksdhfksdjhfsd#ask#🚇anon
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