#this grown ass man (he is only a few years older than me but. hes graduated so he is a grown ass man.) told me to kill myself because i said

[p33p33p00p00]

im sorry but if ur a grown ass man telling a teenager to kys over south park ur just a shit person im sorry

[alastwhorez]

Alastor with a mommy kink

♡ Pairing: Human!Alastor x MILF!Reader

♡ Summary: Alastor can't help but want his new neighbor

♡ warnings: 18+, MDNI, breeding kink, mommy kink, pet names, oral, p in v, unprotected sex, Alastor is 23, reading is in late 20s early 30s, Alastor calls reader Ma. Age gap, I think that's it. If I missed anything, please let me know.

♡an: not proofread, probably spelling errors, if you don't like mommy kinks or Al calling reader Ma, or Age gap please do not read.

Thinking about early 20s human Alastor with a mommy kink..

You just moved next door with your kids right beside Alastor and his mama.

Alastor helped you move in observing that there was no man with you, he offered to help which you graciously accepted. His mama invited you and the kids over for dinner that evening saying “it's so nice to have children around again now that Al is all grown up” as she pinches the taller male's cheek. Alastor rolled his eyes at his mom's actions trying to cover up the blush rising to his cheeks. He may be “all grown up” as she says but he is still a mama's boy and always will be.

After dinner you help clear the table and do dishes with Alastor as his mama plays with the children in the living room. You fall into a comfortable silence before Al breaks it “so where's your husband?” You look at him and smile before telling him you don't have one. Al hides his smirk from you. in all honesty he didn't offer to help you trying to be neighborly or a gentleman. He offered because of the heat he felt seeing you mother your kids.

Over the next few weeks Al is always there. He is there when you need help putting something together, someone to go to the grocery store with and even when you need someone to kill the pesky little bugs when you are too scared. His mama started babysitting for you as you wanted to find a job. Living Off of you savings wasn't going to last forever. And Al was there for all of it.

Over the weeks Al noticed the heat he would feel intensifies everytime he sees you mothering your kids but what really got him was when he was over for lunch and you wiped his mouth with your thumb to clean a crumb off his lip. He couldn't deny the tightening in his pants at you doing such motherly things for him. It didn't help that you also wore some frisky outfits for your time and that you weren't that much older than him, in your late twenties to early thirties at most.

The twenty three year old quickly became very obsessive and possessive over you. Scaring away suitors. Always telling you, you don't need a boyfriend, you have him and he is right across the lawn. All you have to do is open a window or stand on your porch and yell and he will be there.

Over the weeks of Alastor being around you couldn't deny your attraction to him. He was a very attractive man, one several women in town are always throwing themselves at but you never see him with a woman. He tells you he has his eyes on someone he just doesn't know how they feel yet. That brings a ting of pain to your heart but you smile at the younger male and tell him anyone would be lucky to have him pinning over them.

looking back you wonder how you got in the situation you are in now. Bent over your kitchen table, dress flipped up over your plush ass, and panties down around your ankles as Alastor is on his knees licking and sucking on any flesh his mouth can find. He parts your folds with his tongue as he licks up you. His hands on your ass spreading you open for him. You try to hold back moans forgetting you don't have to be quiet. His mama has the kids. He was only supposed to be over here for a quick visit. He was dropping off leftovers his mama made. But they were quickly forgotten. Left on the counter.

“Fuck ma, you taste so good” He moans against your cunt. Your mouth falls open in a silent moan at the vibration of his voice. Oh god his voice is another thing about him that attracted you to the younger man. His deep raspy voice with his cute little accent. It could make you wet just hearing him talk, and it has.

you yelp as Alastor lands a slap on your ass then squeeze and massage the red spot. His tongue dips in your entrance As his thumb finds your bundle of nerves and starts to rub. Your legs are shaking, thank fuck your on the table. You Turn around trying to see him. Wanting to see him between your legs. He chuckles and smirks against you, feeling you wiggle. Trying to maneuver your body just try so his mouth stays attached to you.

You scream out his name as he speeds up his thumb and quickens his thrust with his tongue. He's moaning against you as he bites, licks, and sucks everywhere he can reach. You're a moaning mess on your table. You can feel that familiar tingle before it snaps and your jerking,moaning, and screaming “Oh Al, baby” eyes rolling back and back arching. He moans as your juices coat his tongue, swallowing it down like it's his last meal.

You're laying on the table trying to catch your breath when he pulls away and stands to his full height. You hear him undo his belt and unzip his pants. You bite your lip in anticipation. “g-gotta feel you around me ma”

Ma, he started calling you that a week after you met.

You feel him slide himself between your folds, wetting himself in your juices before he slowly slides on, stretching you perfectly. You both moan out at the feeling. He starts slow and shallow before getting confidence and speeding up. He's gripping your hips so hard you know they'll bruise but fuck does it feel good to finally have his hands on you. He fucks you from behind until your about to finish when he pulls out. “No nononono!” You whine right before he flips you onto your back and pulls the dress off the rest of the way.

“You little minx” He says when he sees you weren't wearing a bra. You bite your lip looking up at him. His hands find your thighs and push them apart as he stands between your legs pushing himself back into you.

You grip his shoulders then let your hands slide down to his back when he speeds up, giving you an extra hard thrust. “Feels so good,ma” He whines into your shoulder. “Wanted you for so long”

“M-me too Ala-STOR” you moan when he hits that spot that makes your toes curl. He pulls away from your shoulder and slams his lips onto your, the kiss is hungry, feral. It's all teeth and tongue. You can taste yourself on his lips pulling a moan from you.

He pushed your back onto the table as he lays over you and his thumbs finds your clip. Only a couple of thrust later and your cumming all over his cock, begging him your not exactly sure what your begging for pleas fall from your lips

“Fuck, fuck ,FUCK” He says as he puts his face in your shoulder biting and licking your neck.

“Gotta-gotta cum in you ma, make you a mommy again”

“Yes! Yes Al” you beg as you feel another orgasm approaching.

Alastor grabs your tits, “gotta see these Full and round” He says before sucking on into his mouth. Three more thrust is all it takes before he is shooting Ropes of cum into your heat, hips stuttering, his eyes rolling back, and moans falling from his lips. You cum for the nth time seeing Alastor so blissed out,tightening around his cock, milking him for everything he is worth.

You both lay there for several minutes catching your breath. He pulls out a few seconds later but replaces his cock with his fingers pulling a moan from you. “Gotta make sure nothing goes to waste” He says right before fixing his glasses that are now all fogged up. He smiles down at you, helping you up before picking you up bridal style and carrying you to your bathroom.

He runs you a bath, both of you sitting in It, your back against his chest. He is peppering kisses all over your shoulder. He stays with you till nightfall when his mama yells for him to come home and that your kids are on their way back over.

He kisses your lips one more time after your kids run through the door.

“Same time tomorrow, ma?” He says, smirking down at you and then winking before heading back to his mama.

[cloudcountry]

auburn!!! i’m so glad that over these five years (half a decade wow 🤑) your work and most importantly your amazing personality has grown to receive so much recognition and love. i’m proud of you and i’m glad we’ve known each other for so long 🫶🏽. i hope your work continues to grow and you continue to do amazing things and be generally pretty cool. okay thats too much sappiness bleggh poop fart shit fuck ass ☝🏽

erm anyways i would like the chocolate swirl bread slices with brown sugar bubble tea in the special 3k event cup with cat cap… rubs hands together like fly…

would also be cool if the reader was FTM and/or was not-so-subtlety avoiding leona for any reason

DANIEL YOU BUTT THATS THE SWEETEST THING YOUVE SAID TO ME IN FIVE YEARS AND YOU END IT WITH POOP FART SHIT FUCK ASS????? ANYWAYS this almost made me cry what the fuck i feel like a baby bird leaving the nest even though im older than you. i cant believe we're like adults now. what happened to being weird ass teenagers on quotev dot com. i cant say i miss that era though but i do miss kaomoji IDK WHERE HALF THE FRIEND GROUP IS LMAO anyways thank you for being my friend mwah you are a real one you have seen me at my worst and stuck with it IDK HOW YOU DID THAT anyways your lion man

an order of romantic angst with leona kingscholar!

Leona watches your back as emotions he would much rather not acknowledge fester and boil in his chest. His tail flicks, his ears twitch, and it’s obvious to everyone around him that he is exceedingly annoyed.

That’s not the shocking part, however.

It’s the fact that he’s annoyed with you, the one boy in this whole school he never should have felt that way towards.

Leona wouldn’t be so annoyed in the first place if it wasn’t for the fact that you’d been inexplicably ignoring him for the past few weeks. As petty as always, Leona was sure he could outlast you, ignoring you in much the same way. He was good at being nonchalant, at taking it easy even though his affection shifted to bitter resentment.

Could he really call you someone close to him if he’s starting to genuine dislike you?

Nah, it’s not like he should have expected anything in the first place. He turns on his heel and walks off in the opposite direct of you, tail flicking lazily behind him. If you don’t want him anymore, that’s fine. If he’s not your number one anymore, he’ll just grin and bear it, bear like he always has and always will.

He thought he had something just for himself. How naive could he be?

Leona scowls, digging his hands into his pockets. If he sees everyone else in the hallway giving him a wide berth he doesn’t show it, his vision laser focused on Savanclaw’s dorm, his room, his bed, where he can sleep and ignore his reality for a little while longer.

The reality that you were so clearly avoiding him, the reality that you probably didn’t want him anymore, the reality that he was finally number one to someone and now he wasn’t.

Leona was once again second, but when there were only two people in a competition, second was the same as dead last.

[tomshelbystitsfics]

Untitled Fic.

Eventual!Carmen x Reader

(this is just the beginning for the fic. its storyline/plot building. also the reader is midsize. not skinny but not plus. in the middle)

(im posting this its the beginning to a fic im writing & i just wanted to post this lil excerpt. hoping to get some feedback & see what people think! please, let it rip:)

Home. Home? What did that word mean to you? It was a noisy, dirty, yet charming city. An old house, at least sixty years old. Paint now peeling, gutters full of old leaves and shit. Home, a minute's walk across the road. Inside a warm dish of delicious food awaits. Michael hands you that first plate. There it was, the moment of truth. Determining if you were friend or foe. Not really though, just testing to see if you were a narc. (Later you would argue with Mikey that his logic made no sense whatsoever.)

You found a home in the dysfunctional, crazy ass Berzatto family. They quickly accepted you as one of their own. Having been Carmy’s best (and only) friend. Always so polite and sweet. Until Mikey or Richie pissed you off. They were always picking on you and Carmy. And sometimes they pushed hard enough to set you off. That is exactly why you’re all in this situation now.

“Fucking A. You ain’t gotta hit me that hard asshole! Seriously, it was just a fucking joke man! Lighten the FUCK UP!” Richie yelled. You sat across the island from him. Mikey was digging through the freezer. He was trying to find something to ice Richie’s face. You had given the bastard a black eye and a bloody fucking nose. Mikey was more than impressed. So was Richie, but he wouldn’t be telling you that any fucking time soon.

“I’m sorry Rick,” he scowled as you called him that. “I tried to warn ya that you went too far, but no, you just had to go there.” He just stared at you, deadpan. You sucked in a breath, cheeks puffed out. Head in your hands you let out the breath. Standing up and making your way in front of the man. A hand extended out, an olive branch.

Scoffing he smacked the hand away. Your chest tightened, Richie was basically your older brother. His rejection hurt, a fucking lot in fact. Not wanting him to see the tears starting to well up, you start to turn away. That is when you feel it. Two long, solid arms wrap around you. Twisting around, you rest your chin on his shoulder and grasp the back of his old ass hoodie tight. Fingers clenching the fabric.

“It’s all good Doll. I still love ya. Even if you broke my goddamn nose.” Richie held you, then after a beat, “I mean shit. My cheekbone feels like a grown man split it, kid.” The tender moment was over for now. Richie is trying to make a joke out of it. You smirk, shoving him by the shoulders into his previous seat.

“ ‘S what ya get asswipe! Quit fucking with her when she says. It’s called ‘boundaries’ cousin? Ever heard of the concept?” Mikey slapped a steak on his eye. The other man groaned.

“FUCK SAKES MIKEY! Please, could ya be a little more considerate or some shit? I already got rocked. Don’t need a worse fucking bruise.” Mumbling as he pushed Mikey’s hand away, holding the slab of meat.

“I am not eating that shit later Mikey, no fucking shot.” Giggling, you give the man a kiss on the cheek. “What’s for dinner anyways?” The dark haired man seemed to think for a moment, then said something similar to what landed Richie his shiner and fucked nose.

“Ask Carmy, I’m sure he has a few ideas for what he wants.” Wagging his eyebrows at you. The smirk was audible. Mikey seemed to be proud of himself for the quip.

“Y-You…motherfucker.. I swear I’ll end you, Berzatto. YOU BITCH, C’MERE.” You took off around the island to where he stood in front of the kitchen sink. Richie was screaming and crawling up onto the counter, “ You two fucks better watch out for me. My shit’s busted enough. Get the fuck outta here!”

The memories of Mikey and the family keep swirling through your head as you stand in front of the funeral home. It had been a year since you physically saw any of the Berzatto clan. Too many years since seeing your best friend. Carmen Anthony Berzatto. A name you desperately wanted to forget. The name felt hollow to say, a distant memory. A smoke show that never existed except only in the dark recesses of your mind. Brought up when you wish to torture yourself even more than usual.

Drinking in the cold Chicago air, you begin the trek up the stairs. One measly step at a time. Hoping to calm your racing heart. It felt like the organ was lodged in your throat, bound to come up in a grisly mess at any second. The walk into the foreboding building felt like it took light years and seconds all at once. Standing before the doors, hand hovering over the knob. Psyching yourself up you finally grasp the knob and starting to pull and-

“Fucking Christ! This is fucking insane.” A familiar voice barks out. The door was quickly and haphazardly thrown open. PANG! Jumping back it only caught your arm a bit. The pain was nice and a needed distraction.

“Oh shit, I am so sorry, I-I didn’t realize anyone…” a small gasp of surprise and a tearful chuckle. Then a slow shaky intake of air, “Doll, is-is that you? Or am I just fucking nuts?” Desperation paints his tone. His words crack and waver with emotion, no, sadness and grief. And a bit of hope.

“Hey cousin, I guess it's only fair, I did bust ya up good when we were younger. An eye for a, uh- arm, I guess.” Your voice was thick with the tears ready to be shed. Before you know you’re shoved into his warm chest. All you smell is stale cigarettes, and his woodsy, Ed Hardy cologne. The aroma of smoke, along with bergamot and amber soothes you. There was a time you despised this fucking scent. It was always too strong and pungent. Telling Richie he smelt like a hooker, wanting to piss him off.

“At least one of us is shaking ass and making some cash Doll.” SMACK! Richie shook his hips at you.

“You made it inside yet? ‘Course not, fuck. I-I’m sorry Doll, my brain is fucking lost. I-I don’t have a goddamn clue about what’s going on.” Apologizing and rubbing his nose roughly.

“Can’t lose something you never had Rick.” You smirk, jabbing him in his ribs.

“Hardy har. You got fucking jokes, eh? Nice, real nice…Shit.” Richie let out a loud sigh and looked at his feet, “Don’t call me fucking Rick man. Shit wasn’t cool when you were a kid, sure as shit ain’t cool now pip squeak.” He smacked you lightly on the back of your head. Reaching into his coat he grabs a cigarette, and swings the pack towards you. You quit smoking, (mainly vaping) a year ago. But, fuck it.

It is a funeral after all. Might as well take the edge off somehow. Being sober was fucking awful at times. You both finished the cigarettes in silence. After stubbing the cherry out, you gestured to the door.

“Think we should, uh, ya know?”

Richie swallowed his nerves and gave a single nod. The man had a hold of the handle before you could even think about it. Walking into one of the absolute worst possible moments of your entire fucking life.

[yellowocaballero]

hi! i've been reading some of your older fics and was wondering if there's any merit in watching buffy for the first time in the year 2024

This may not be obvious, but this is actually an extremely complicated and highly subjective question. I'll try to go on for too long.

As background: my mother loved Buffy and its spin-off Angel growing up. It was our Bible (besides the actual Bible). Not kidding, she was on the forums and fan groups and wrote fanfiction for it and everything (These days, she's really into kdramas and Asian dramas, and calls me about how the Thai seem like big fans of gay people). So I'm quite biased.

BTVS is both a product of its times and ahead of its times. It was a show about feminism and the struggle of living in this world as a woman, when very few shows were doing that. It was the first show to have a long-lasting lesbian couple, and the first show to depict a kiss between them. For better or for worse, it was one of the codifiers of broody vampire boyfriend. It was pretty unafraid to be experimental in a lot of what it did. It had incredibly complex and nuanced character work and growth that I still aspire to. Spike's arc is still matched in quality only by Avatar's Zuko. Angel's long term arc, from Buffy to his spin-off series, still makes him one of the most complex characters on TV. It had the most complex depiction of depression on TV at the time and I still think it's one of the best. I think the show had very high highs.

It also had very low lows. Some of the feminism is problematic in retrospect. The sapphic couple has a rather famous element that was severely problematic. There are, overall, some deeply atrocious arcs that I can appreciate objectively but not in practice. Xander: a whole-ass character aged awfully. On a meta level, the workplace conditions were bad (thanks, Whedon.) There are no people of color. The spoiler's sake I won't go into detail on this, but in general the good stuff was so influential and the bad stuff was just awful.

I think these days people tend to brush off the entire thing because it's Whedon. That is more than fair. But I'd also say that Whedon & Buffy is extremely similar to Brian Michael Bendis & Ultimate Spider-Man. Bendis was fantastic at writing sassy, bouncy, permanently stressed-out teens - issue was, he wrote entirely different serious adult characters the way he wrote these sassy teens. Same with Whedon: the annoyingly constant quips are perfect for Buffy, because that's who the characters are. They're awful in Marvel, because Steve Rogers is not Xander. Kinda similarly, Buffy was genuinely feminist for 90s TV - issue is, Whedon has not grown or developed his views, and now his works feel so sexist (oh my fucking god why did you treat Natasha like that). After a certain point it's egotistical: you're writing like that because you're Joss Whedon and it's how you write, not because it's what's best for the characters and story. But it was really important to me to get the character voices right, and it's freaking difficult to endlessly write dialogue that distinct, full of voice, witty, and clever.

I think BTVS & Angel TV's greatest influence on my writing is how intensely character-driven both of those shows were, and how intricate the characters were. What every character did was something they would do, if that made sense. Even the stuff I hated to watch, that made me uncomfortable, was the culmination of so much (usually). I think I also picked up the constant wit and humor lol. On a personal level, the conversations I would have with my mother where she broke down the character motivations and composition of the story was my first exposure to looking at storytelling from an analytical perspective and a framework of critical analysis, which was an approach I carried into the rest of the media I consumed and that was the primary reason I was able to become a decent writer. Thanks, Mom. Have fun with your kdramas.

TL:DR: There is merit, especially if you care about good character work. There are things about it that may make you want to drop it, which is extremely valid. Season 1 is rough but interesting, Season 2 and 5 are the best, Season 3 is pretty good, Season 4 and 7 skippable, and Season 6 is........epic highs, epic lows......

[delulu-with-wandanat]

ayo i have a request! platonic mob boss!natasha and single mother female reader! nat is a mob boss who is known to be heartless and merciless. reader is struggling financially and decides to take a loan from nat’s mob, which she can’t pay back. she’s taken by nat’s men and beaten, but then when nat sees reader out of place among the drug dealers and crackheads, she takes pity on reader, forgives her debt and protects her, as well as helping reader out financially. kinda like older sister protective vibes

THANK YOU I love all your writing!!

Alternative Proposition-

A/n: Awww thank you! I'm sorry this took a while, life finally catch up on me and I'm find myself writing less and less. I never actually dipped into mob au's beforee so, sorry if anything is out of place. I'm actually a little scared of posting this ngl- :')) I try to not give the daughter a name, only like a nickname so you can decide it for yourself. Anywayy, I hope you like it!!

Reader Description: She/her, single mother, mid 20s.

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Reader (Platonic), Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff (Romantic).

Warnings 18+: Mature themes, mentions of drugs, violence, crimes, (idk what else i need to put tbh), threat, use of guns.

Summary: Struggling to take care her 5 year old daughter, Y/n took out a loan from the mob to start a small business in hopes that it would resolve their financial struggles. But small businesses takes time to flourish, which Y/n doesn't have and ends up biting her in the ass... or did it?

PUNCH!

Right on the stomach. The man tugged her from behind so she would stand up straight.

TWACK!

Christ, her nose was probably broken now. Perhaps she should've known better than to follow her friend's advice.

"Fucking bankers..." Y/n said out of frustration. Her appeal to take out a loan was rejected once again. At this rate she might have to finally settle for just working double time and barely making ends meet for her and her daughter. Suddenly, she hears her neighbor next door arguing and smashing god knows what.

For fuck sakes, again?

Gun shots can be heard from out the window, a few minutes later a police sirens follow through. The neighbor above blasting music and making noises on what could only be... something.

Her heart ached as he mind raced to the 5 year old sleeping in her room. No, she deserves a better life, a better living condition, a better future. She has to find a way, there has to be. The front door flew open and her friend walked in with a dopey smile.

"You look like you could use a happy sniff!" Y/n only rolled her eyes at her friend.

"I'm way past that, and you know it. Besides, those things are bad for you." Y/n responded without even looking.

Her friend plopped down beside her on the couch with an exaggerate groan. "You've gotten so boring since she was born. We used to have so much fun, no?"

"Grown out of it," She looks at her friend. "So should you."

Kate then rested her head on Y/n's shoulder, looking over her notes. "Bank denied you again?" She said almost mockingly with a pout.

"It's so stupid. I just need some cash to start this business, I did the numbers and the market is huge! Yet, none of them are willing to even listen at all..."

Kate then repositions herself to rest her head on the arms of the sofa. "You're asking the wronggg people." She giggled. Clearly high on drugs.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I know someone who could help you. Actually... I know someone who KNOWS someone. No questions asked, just gotta pay them back on time."

"No questions asked? Sorry, Kate, but that sounds really shady." Y/n is too tired to even listen to her.

"Give it a tryyyy. You're confident about your business?" Y/n nodded. "What's the worst that could happen?" Kate concluded. Perhaps she was right, that what it takes to start a successful business no? Take a risk-

TWACK!

Famous last words. She did in fact took out a pretty huge loan, and promised to pay once a month with interest. Very high interest. Even though Kate was right, they asked no question whatsoever, the risk was also extremely deadly-

SMACK!

-right on the jaw this time. "I was late, I'm sorry. Please I promise I will-"

TWACK!

"We've heard that excuse many times before." The man said with a thick Slavic accent. He grabbed a handful of her hair and tugged it harshly so she would face her. "And when you take out a money that big, the boss doesn't play around."

TWACK!

"Please..." The poor woman pleaded. "I swear-"

"Swear on your life? That is what we will take." Instead of a punch, the platinum haired man pulled out a gun, Y/n felt her stomach dropped the moment he pointed the gun to her head.

"Wait, wait!"

"Hold." She heard the other man who was holding her from behind spoke. "We're needed elsewhere."

"Now??"

"Just put the rat back in her cell, we'll deal with her and the rest later."

The blonde man hesitated for a few second before putting away his gun. He bent his body to her eye level and spoke, "You are one lucky son of a bitch."

Y/n was put back in the filthy place. Among with all the other hostages they have taken and beaten. She grunts at every single move she makes, every part of her body was extremely sore with the amount of punching she had endured.

The warehouse was dark, there was only one source of light, it was now probably almost midnight, fuck she needs to get home. She asked Kate to babysit her daughter, which was probably not the best course of action as Kate was quite a heavy drug user. But fuck she didn't have anyone to go to.

Kate will take care of her right? Well, she was... She wasn't addicted, but- Oh fuck her mind is running a mile minute.

She doesn't know how long time has passed as all she could think about was her daughter. Her sweet little bug. "Be safe, please, please be safe."

Oh god, what if Kate uses drugs in front of her? Come on, Kate was the one helping Y/n throughout the pregnancy, she would be more mature than that. Then again drug addicts are selfish- No, Kate is not like that. Kate adores Y/n's daughter, even going as far as supporting this business so the little bug would have a better future.

But what if Kate-

Y/n perked up at the sound of a door opening. Heavy sets of footsteps could be heard walking in her direction. "Cut the crackheads fingers as a warning, that oughta teach them." Y/n shivers at the woman's command. "Their debt remains, any late payments will be paid by their hand."

"What about the dealer?" Her men asked.

"Kill him, he went against our terms and conditions. Make him suffer." Y/n heard a unanimous 'Understood.' This woman definitely held a high power among all of them.

"And Stark's men?" Another one of her soldier asked. There was a beat of silence as the woman weighted her decision.

"Send him our... parcel. He'll understand." Whatever it is, Y/n is sure it's not what is implied.

She heard a few cells opening, some of the hostages cried and plead for their life. "I have nothing to do with this!" The man screamed. "It was Mr. Stark's order-"

"Stark and I, despite our rivalry, have mutual respect with each other." The powerful boss spoke again. "Though I won't be surprised if the orders did in fact came from him."

"Please..." The hostage started crying. "Please, I- I have kids-"

"And a wife?"

"Y-yes."

"Good. At least there's someone to take care of them." Fuck this woman is a sadist.

The poor man continued to thrash and screamed, yet he was no match in his condition and the strength of his taker. His screaming gradually disappears as they take him god knows where. And finally, the woman came into view as she stood just outside of her cell.

Y/n had pushed herself into a corner, hugging herself, knowing she would be next. And from what she has heard, there was no way of convincing a woman who holds such power and fear. Reality dawned on her that she had failed her daughter, her sweet 5 year old bundle of joy.

I'm sorry, bug...

The red headed woman studied the hostage before her. Seems like her men had taken her after she had finished her shift, Y/n was still wearing her waitress uniform.

"It's the one that took out the big loan." Another woman with blonde hair told the boss. Y/n notes she has a thick Russian accent.

"And?"

"She claims the purpose was to start a food and beverage business. Late payments, but I doubt the business even took place. I haven't seen or heard any new establishment in the area." The blonde woman explained.

The boss narrows her eyes. Y/n refused to speak or even look at them in the eye. As the red headed women was about to decide her fate, they heard a phone ring. Y/n's head turned to the source of the ringtone, it was her phone. "Shut that phone." She told her men.

"No wait!" All eyes turned to Y/n as the hostage finally spoke for the first time. "Please, that's mine. It might have something to do with my daughter..."

The goons gave the boss Y/n's phone. The woman looked at the caller id, "Kate."

"That's my friend, she's babysitting her. I just need to know if she's alright." The blonde and red haired woman shared a look, they've seen this before. Last act of desperation to seek help.

Finally, the boss bent down to her level beckoning Y/n to get closer from her position. Y/n hesitantly crawled closer so she was able to speak to the phone. Before the boss answered the phone, she looked at Y/n dead in the eye. "Any attempts, I will track this caller id. Understood?"

The boss didn't have to elaborate further, Y/n nodded while shivering in fear. The woman then accepted the call, and put it on speaker. "Mama??" A little girl's voice could be heard.

"Hey there, bug!" Y/n responded with fake enthusiasm. It was very convincing, even an adult wouldn't notice anything. "What are you doing up so late huh?"

"I'm waiting for you! You promised me movie night." The little girl said sadly.

"Awww, I know bug. Something came up at work, and I needed to work extra hours. But how about this, I'll make it up to you and we'll go somewhere special on your birthday, how does that sound?" Y/n spoke, her heart aching as she was making fake promises to her daughter. After all, the mob would most likely take her life.

"Yey!!! Aunty Kate, did you hear that?" It seems like the little girl was so happy at the idea. Y/n can imagine her daughter running to Kate in their tiny apartment excitedly to tell her the news. She then heard Kate responding as excitedly to the little girl. This is her chance.

No. She can't put her friend in danger. Even though that idiot gave her the stupid idea- No, I made the decision.

"Kate, it's already midnight. Can you make sure she sleeps please?"

"Aww, it's weekend! I'm sure she can stay up once a while with her aunty." Kate responded over the phone.

"I gotta go." Y/n said after noticing some of the goons growing impatient. "And Kate..."

There was a beat of silence, would she do it?

"Please remember to restraint yourself." Kate could be heard signing on the other side of the phone.

"You know I would never do that in front of bug. I promise, I'll take care of her. Just come home safe ok?" Kate understood Y/n's fear. And Kate knew better than to use drugs around children's proximity. In fact, she wasn't using the addictive substance as much as she used to... Only when she party that is-

"Of course. See you." The red haired woman then ended the call. She wasn't going to lie, she was quite impressed at this hostage. Perhaps this girl was something else...

-

Natasha came home way past midnight, it wasn't unusual for her of course. Though she does sometimes wishes to leave the crime life completely. Well, sometimes was an understatement, she wants to leave the crime life and focus on her own family. However, her sister was far from ready and there were numerous business she had to resolve first.

Then again, perhaps that was just an excuse. The cycle would never end. There's always something coming up, and she was the one the city held respect and fear for. By the end of the day, Natasha wasn't even sure if this life would leave her completely.

It was tied to her like an anchor.

She sighed and walked over to the master bedroom quitely. When she opens the door, she found her wife already fast asleep. She made her way to the bathroom, changed her clothes into something far more comfortable. She opted to skip her nighttime routine, and walked out of the bathroom.

Her wife had moved in her sleep, and it seems like she is awake. A small smile appeared on Natasha's face. "I didn't mean to wake you up." The mob boss said apologetically.

"The Americans would say, old habit dies hard." Wanda responded with a sleepy smile. Natasha soon joined her on the bed, giving her wife a loving kiss on her lips, and the slope of her nose. Despite being married for a couple of years, it warms Wanda's heart at Natasha's actions.

For someone who have gained the reputation of being merciless, she was so gentle on the people she loves.

"Everything alright, darling?" Wanda asked, she knew there was always something in this line of business. But really, what else was she supposed to ask?

"Same old, same old." Natasha answered as she settles on the bed next to her. Wanda then nuzzles onto Natasha like she always does every single night. "I'm getting too old for this."

Wanda chuckles, "Well, Yelena is next in line."

"Oh please, she her patience is as thin as a baby hair. She wouldn't last a 30 minute meeting." Natasha then starts to rub small circles on Wanda's back. "And you?"

"Just the usual, took the boys to school. They're already asking me if they could get their own car now that they're in middle school." Natasha let out a small chuckle.

"I hope they know they have save up their own money for that."

"I doubt it." The two women shared a laugh and fell into a comfortable silent. It was nights like these that Natasha adored. She may ruled the city, and had resources the average person can't imagine, but all she wanted was simple nights in the arms of the woman she loves.

Crazy to think how they met each other, all those years ago. When Natasha was only a second in command and Melina was ruling the mob, and Wanda was just a single mother trying to get by. Just like-

"Your thoughts are loud, detka." Wanda said, her wife truly knows her inside and out. "Care to share?"

Natasha lets out a sigh before continuing, "There was this girl, probably in her mid 20s." Wanda stayed silent, listening to her wife. "She reminds me of you..."

Wanda pulled away slowly to look at Natasha in the eye, "Natalia... If this is your way of asking us to open our marriage-"

"Excuse me, how did you even come to that conclusion?" God no, Natasha never even had that thought.

"Well when you start with that kind of sentence..." Natasha only rolled her eyes and pulled Wanda back into her arms.

"No, It's not that." She sighed, trying to find the right words. "I'm just..." She trails off once again. Wanda waited patiently for her wife to form her words, except Natasha ended up letting out a soft chuckle. "I think I'm just getting too old and too soft for this."

Wanda made herself more comfortable on Natasha's chest, listening to her heartbeat. Something she finds rather comforting. "You kept your heart. That is something I love the most about you." She shifted slightly so she could look at her wife in the eye. "But moreover I think that is something Melina would be so proud of..."

Natasha's heart warmed at Wanda's words. She pulled Wanda into a soft kiss, pouring the immense love she had for the woman before her. Natasha's hand gently cupped her wife's face, she held her ever so carefully as if Wanda was the most precious and delicate flower to ever exist.

--

Y/n waited, and waited.

She glanced at the clock, and then back to the front door. Still no one...

She heard a groan from Kate and looked at her friend/co-worker now. "Where are all the people..." She whined as she waited at one of the empty seats.

"It's ok. There's time like these, we just have to be patient." Y/n responded optimistically, even though deep inside she was screaming. The restaurant barely made enough to be self-sufficient. Despite it being small, and having herself as the staff with the occasional help of Kate, all of the profit had gone to running the business.

Moreover, she has to pay back the mob.

Fuck... "Kate, what day is it?"

Kate quickly checked her phone, "Friday. Why??"

Shit... shit, shit, shit. Her next payment was due tonight. She opened the register to check on the cash she had separated to make the payments. Y/n hastily re-counted the money and found that she was still $1000 short, "Fuck-"

"What's wrong?" Kate asked upon noticing her friend's frustration.

"Nothing..." Y/n sighed, no point in panicking now. She rubbed her temple and started giggling out of the immense frustration she was in. "Out of curiosity, is there a way to make $1000 in less than 6 hours?"

"We could always turn to crime."

"Few years ago I would've agreed, but I have a daughter to take care of." Calming herself down, she puts the money back and closed the cashier. "I need to pick up bug soon, you think you can manage on your own?"

"Don't underestimate me..." Y/n only gave Kate a look as she walks towards the cashier, "I will man the fort."

Y/n merely chuckles and took her bag, she gave Kate a quick hug. She has been such a great help, the definition of true friends lie on none other than Kate Bishop. "Thank you, I'll be quick!" Y/n said as she made her way out of the restaurant.

--

"-And I made a new friends!" The little one said as she held her mother's hand on the way to the shop.

"That's wonderful, bug!" Y/n responded as enthusiastically. Relief that her daughter was doing well on her first day of elementary school, not that she ever doubted her daughter's capability. In contrast to Y/n, her daughter was much more outgoing than she was when Y/n was younger.

"Maybe I can invite them to the restaurant!" Y/n chuckles at her statement.

"Well you know what? Tell them I will give their family a VIP service." The little bug scrunch up her nose in confusion, she look up to her mother.

"What's a VIP??" She asks, just before they entered the shop. Y/n bent down to her level with an adoring smile.

"VIP means, 'Very-Important-Person'. And because they're your friends. They're important, don't you think so?" The little girl nodded her head as her mother explained, "Meaning they'll get special treatments."

It was like a lightbulb switched on inside the little one's head. "Oh! I get it!!"

"My brightest star." Y/n said while ruffling her head, "Come on, let's head inside. Aunty Kate might need some back up."

The two entered the shop to find Kate talking to a customer. Oh thank god. Their back was facing Y/n, once Kate noticed Y/n she perked up. "Oh! Y/n, you're just in time. This is our owner, and the mastermind behind all these amazing dish!" Well, gotta give the enthusiasm to Kate.

The customer turned around and Y/n felt chills down her spine.

"So I see." The same powerful woman spoke. Y/n tensed up, but the little hand she was still holding kept her grounded. "Y/n, was it?"

"Y-yes." She cleared her throat. No, nononono, the payment was still in a few hours. Well, she was still short a $1000. Fuck, fuck, fuck-

The redhaired woman shifter her eyes downward to look at Y/n's daughter. "And who might you be?" She asked the little girl kindly. Was it genuine? Y/n doesn't even know.

"My mom and aunty calls me bug!" The girl said excitedly. "I like your hair."

The mob boss laughed, "Thank you! I like your little braid. Did your mother did that for you?" Oh well, she's surprisingly good with kids?? Such a stark contrast to the one Y/n met at the warehouse-

"Yeah!" The little girl giggled.

"I'm having trouble choosing something to eat. Since I have the owner and I'm assuming the chef, perhaps you could recommend me something?" The woman asked.

Y/n snapped back to reality, "U-uh, well... Our uhm the-" Speak, SPEAK, why am I so-

"Oh, oh!" Her daughter excitedly ran up to the dangerous boss, she went on her tiptoes to take the menu off the counter. "You should get this one! It's my favorite and my mom makes it the best."

"I will take your word for it." The woman said with a kind smile, she turns to Kate. "I'll take the recommendation from this little one. I'll sit in that corner."

"We'll be right with you, ma'am!" Kate said, obviously oblivious to who this woman is.

Fuck.

--

Y/n hand shook as she plated the food for the mafia boss, Kate noticed it and giggles. She clearly doesn't realize how bad the situation is.

"Hey relax, boss." She nudges her friend, Y/n only let out a nervous chuckle. "Alright, I'll take it from here." As Kate was about to take the plate to serve, Y/n stopped her.

"I got it, why don't you go stand by the cashier in case any more customers comes in." Thankfully for Y/n, Kate agreed and went back to her station. As much as she would like to avoid the mob boss at any cost, she doesn't want Kate to be involved further.

Y/n walks towards the table with food in hand, the woman was sitting by the corner looking out the window. Heart stammering in her chest as fear and anxiety tried to take over her body, what did this woman want?

"Your food, ma'am." Y/n sets the plate with shaky hands.

"Oh, thank you. It looks delicious." The redhead said turning to face Y/n with a smile. Just as Y/n was about to leave, the lady stopped her. "Hold on just a minute, I wouldn't mind the company of the owner herself. Take a seat." It sounded more like a demand than a request.

Y/n took a deep breath and sat across from her. The woman took a sip of her drink, still looking out the window. Maybe I should've poisoned her food or something-

"I believe I haven't introduced myself." The woman's voice took Y/n out of her trance. She looked up to see her staring back at her. "Natasha, pleasure to meet you under... better circumstances." Natasha offered her hand to shake.

Y/n reached out, hand still visibly shaking a little as she shook her hand. "Y/n, although I'm sure you knew that already."

Natasha only nod, she then picked up a fork and a knife and started eating her food. After the first bite, she lets out a soft laugh. "Your daughter wasn't lying when she said this was the best."

Y/n could only force a smile as multitude of things ran in her head. Was she here to execute her? Did she know that Y/n was still a few dollars short? Was this a genuine interest in her food or was she here for business?

"How's business so far?" There it is.

Y/n sighed and looked around at the empty restaurant. "We've had better days."

Natasha only raised an eyebrow as she continues eating her food. "So I see."

There was a few minutes of silence as Y/n waited for Natasha to speak further, however, it seems like the other woman was just simply enjoying her food.

"I have to say I am incredibly impressed with your cooking." She said as she wiped her lip with a napkin and set aside her cutleries.

"Thank you, I learned it from my mother."

Natasha nodded and fixed her posture as she set the plate to the side to rest her hand on the table. "I'm sure you know why I'm here. It's strictly business." Y/n took a deep breath, but before she could say anything Natasha cuts her off. "Although, seeing the state of your establishment, I'm assuming It's barely making anything to run itself."

"I- I promise you I can-" Y/n stammered.

"Oh don't make promises you can't keep, Y/n."

"This month's payment might be a lower but I swear it just takes-"

"I've thought so." Oh god, what has she gotten herself into. Her chest started to feel heavy, something felt like it was stuck on her throat. Y/n couldn't utter a single word. She was a dead woman...

"Which is why I would like to offer you an alternative proposition." Natasha as she leans back against the chair. Y/n who was still in the state of fear only looked at her. "I would like to turn your debts into an investment."

...I'm sorry, "W-what?"

"I would like to invest in your business instead, I see great potential. It should help lighten the burden." Whoa, what??

"I- What's the catch?" Natasha only laughs, not one of those evil laughs, just... laughed.

"I get 20% share of your profit, but to say that's a catch would be misleading as that is just the nature of investment."

Y/n thought for a moment, this wasn't so bad. No, actually it was great. Instead of having debts, she only need to pay Natasha a share of the profit that the restaurant made.

"That's... a very generous offer, Natasha. Thank you. Although, may I negotiate?" Natasha smirked slightly at the sentence and nodded, she liked this girl. Normally people would take the offer without any hesitation, so to have someone negotiates back was refreshing. "I think 20% is too high, how bout 10%?"

"Hmmm, that's too low for me. How about you and I meet in the middle, 15%?" Y/n nod and Natasha had a satisfied smile on her face. This time, it was Y/n who reached out her hand.

"We have a deal."

--

To say the mob boss was being generous was an understatement, but Y/n wasn't going to ask questions. It helped elevated the financial burden a little, as she did not have to pay a fixed price every month. If the business soars Natasha gets a good cut of the revenue, it it fails, well they fall together.

What's weird was Y/n had expected for there to be a catch, maybe even have Natasha suddenly barging in and run the business however she likes. Or making some sort of speakeasy underneath her restaurant, or anything crime related really. But she never did, in fact, Natasha became a regular at the restaurant. She comes by once or twice every week, one time she even comes with a lovely lady who Y/n quickly learned was her wife.

Natasha's wife, Wanda, was a truly lovely lady. Overtime, Wanda stops by more often on her own. Although truth to be told, Y/n had a feeling they adored her daughter the most as bug truly was the ray of sunshine in the restaurant.

Doorbell chimes through the restaurant, the little bug excitedly dings the bell on the cashier counter top informing the kitchen of an incoming order.

"Ms. Wanda's specials!" The little girl said loudly, causing Wanda to giggle slightly at the scene. Y/n comes out of the kitchen door to greet her as she was in the middle of cleaning up.

"Wanda, good to see you again! Your usual?"

Wanda smiled and nodded. "For me, as always. Another one of the same for my wife, and 2 dish of your recommendation for my boys please."

"Anything in particular?" Y/n asked.

Wanda hummed for a moment, before glancing at Y/n's daughter who's practically bouncing on her little feet to make the decision for her. She then smiles and said, "I'll let the little chef surprise me."

Bug beamed upon hearing her sentence, Y/n smiled at her daughter and gave her an encouraging nod. She pulled down her mother to her level and whispered her recommendation. Y/n then pulled away and playfully gave her a salute, "Right on it, chef!"

As Y/n was walking back to the kitchen she heard her daughter yelling, "And be quick, it's for our VIP!"

She was glad her daughter seems to make the restaurant her own little playground, most of the costumers adored her too whenever bug was around. She wishes that her daughter could go out more often and wasn't forced to be stuck in the restaurant as much as she is now.

As time goes by the restaurant started to gain more and more exposures around the neighborhood and Kate has been a big help through it all. Arguably it was good for her too, as she used her spare time to work instead of partying and doing drugs.

Many more months have passed, and their popularity continues to rise and rise to the point where Y/n NEEDED to hire a cook helper and a waitress. She was grateful to say the least, but she wonders if the mob boss had something to do with it.

Y/n noticed that she had seen one of the customers being the one that kidnapped her, she was terrified for a minute only for the same platinum haired man to apologize and leave her with a huge, and I mean HUGE tip. She found out that his name was Pietro and he was surprisingly a funny, cocky, yet quite the gentleman.

The other one was the blonde woman that stood next to Natasha. However, at that time she was rather busy in the kitchen so Kate was the one who interacted with her the most. She didn't learn much about the blonde woman, only that her name was Yelena and that Kate seems to have a big crush on her.

She starts to wonder if half of her customers were affiliated with Natasha's mob. There were times when Natasha came by with a group of people, was it for a business meeting or whatnot she doesn't know. She doesn't even want to know. One thing for sure, Y/n's perception of Natasha changed. The initial impression of Natasha being a cold, heartless, merciless woman was gone, it turns out Natasha has a heart of gold.

From spreading the word about her restaurant, to giving huge tips every time she eats, refusing on-the-house meals and paying more than what her bill stated. To even, at least to Y/n's assumption, keeping the area of her restaurant safe. It wasn't confirmed by any means, but Y/n had a gut feeling Natasha had something to do with it.

--

All in all, business was great and was making enough for her to profit from it as well. She can now take her daughter out occasionally and not having to worry about starving herself in process.

Today was rather slow than usual, thank god...

She probably shouldn't as a business owner, but damn girl needs a room to breathe sometimes. Calm before the storm they said, and Y/n was going to use it to her advantage and catch up on her book as she waits for the next customer.

A good few minutes into her book, the door bell rings. Y/n looks up and put on her smile at the customer. Kate called in sick today and their waitress was having a day off, so Y/n had to cover both for both. "Welcome! What can I do for you on this fine day?"

"Hi there." The woman with a black hair said with a kind smile. "I heard this was the new hotspot in town. What would you recommend me?"

"Well that depends, are we looking for somethings sweet or savory?"

"Hmmm...." The woman scanned the menu quickly. Finally she looked up and said, "I'm feeling adventurous, surprise me."

Y/n smiled, "Take a seat anywhere you like, I'll be right with you." The customer thanked her and sat by the corner. From the corner of her eye, she could she the woman seems to be observing the restaurant. It wasn't weird by any means, maybe she's just one of those food bloggers.

Nah, she's dressed so formal to be a food blogger. Oh, shit... is that a food critique? We'll let's impress her.

After a few minutes, Y/n goes to her table. "This is one of our favorites." She said as she set the plate on the table, "And this is a complimentary drink, it's on the house."

"That's very kind of you." The black haired woman said. "Say how long has this place been established?"

"Oh we've just opened a couple of months ago."

"The owner certainly has an exquisite design taste." Y/n smiled at the compliment.

"Thank you! It was highly inspired by my heritage." The woman raised her eyebrow.

"I take it you are the owner?" Y/n nodded. "Wow! Congratulations on your business! The food looks amazing, please, would you mind joining me? I would love to listen more to your stories."

"Certainly!" Y/n took a seat in front of her, she was used to this, sitting and talking to different customers. It helps build relationship and making them a regular. "Are you new around this area?"

The woman chuckles, "No, I know this city like the back of my hand. My name is Maria Hill, pleasure to meet you." Maria offered her hand to shake.

"Likewise, I'm Y/n." The two shook hands and Maria leaned back on her seat.

"I'm guessing you're not originally from here?"

"No, my family and I migrated to the US when I was younger." Maria hummed again as she stared Y/n down, honestly Y/n was feeling rather uncomfortable. It was like she was... observing her, maybe even assessing her?

One thing for sure, Y/n was starting to get really bad vibes.

Maria suddenly let's out a small laugh, "Perhaps I should be more frontal." She fixed her posture and leaned her elbows on the table. "I was going to ask you sooner or later."

Oh god, what is it? Am I getting deported??

"Are you aware of an individual named Natalia Alianovna Romanova?"

Y/n twisted her head in confusion. "No, that doesn't seem to ring a bell."

"What about Natasha Romanoff?" The woman continued to prod. Well, she only knows one Natasha, she's a-

"I'm sorry, I just-" Y/n was confused, "What is this all about? Are you a health inspector or an immigration officer because-"

Maria raised her hand to stop Y/n, "No, neither of those." Y/n raised an eyebrow. "I'm an FBI agent."

Oh...

"I've been investigating an organized crime for the past few years."

Oh, fuck.

"You're not in trouble, Y/n. I merely require your assistance."

This isn't fucking calm before the storm-

"So are you or are you not," Maria took out a picture, a photograph of Natasha walking out of HER restaurant. "acquainted with this individual."

This is calm before a fucking typhoon. And she is in the middle of it.

[nightfallsolace]

Our Little Secret// Hanma Shuji x Reader  || Chapter 2

in which (Y/n) Ryuguji Draken’s little sister, has a hidden affair with one of their enemies, Hanma Shuji.

The music was blasting trough your headphones, you knew if someone walked into your room they would hear the raging music all the way from the door frame. You didnt want to lower the volume, it was perfectly fine. Yes sure there was a risk that you could potentially go deaf but thats only pontential, it wont come true anytime soon. Yet despite not wanting to lower the volume you had to anyways, after all your older brother could knock at the door at any given moment and tough the sound would be lowered by the sensual moans in the room beside you, there was still thatslight chance and you didnt want to worry your dear brother.

While you were turning down the volume a notification popped up on the top of the screen, the contact read "Wanna be Annabelle" and you groaned not wanting to deal with that Wednesday Addams rip-off

"Hey (n/n) wanna go and hangout? "

You scoffed at his audacity, seriously? In broad daylight he'd invite you to fight when he knows youd rather jump off a cliff now than let yourself be known, it'd ruin the years of eefort of concealing the fact you werent just some clumsy little girl hiding behind his big strong brother's back. The three dots appeard on the bottom left of the screen as another message popped up

"i know youve read my message :)"

As much as you wanted to leave the man on read you couldn't because he knew who you really were and any day now he could tell your dear old precious older brother, and he wouldnt actually belive a word rannabelle would say he would still give the benefit of doubt, Ken-chin's a brute but hes not stupid.

"and by hang out you mean go and dislodge some joints? why should I accept your invite? What even will i get from this?"

Sent.

"dont be mad princess you know i wouldn't invite you for a friendly beat up session with no proper excuse"

There was a pause  before the phone rang the iconic "ding"

"The group's harassed alot girls in the area bannering around their petty little title and evn used me and Rin-rin's name, CAN YOU BELIVE IT? THE AUDACITY THOSE ASSHOLES HAVE--

Anyways im sure youd love to beat them up due to their background, and to top it all off,  they've been collecting money from old ladies off the street"

Your face contoured in disgust and anger, they even targeted GRANNIES?? DO THESE MEN HAVE NO HEART??

"fine, but when i get there i better have a (favorite drink) and starberry shortcake with the extra jam and cream or im shoving your batton up your ass.

Meet me at our usual cafe. "

Sent.

Read.

" ah yes, there's the woman with anger issues ive grown to love"

You scoffed with disbelief

"atleast I havent been charged with murder."

You didnt wait for a reply and got up to get ready, throwing on some cloud spun stockings and a a pretty pink skirt, putting on a cycling for extra measure to make sure no would could peek. You quickly did your eyeliner and applied a heavy coating of strawberry lip balm cause your lips were dry as hell and it was starting to hurt.

You threw on the sweater your brother had given you a few months back as a congratulations present for being the top student in your class, it was a nice shade of pastel yellow and had a few blue and pink accents here and there. You grabbed one of your wigs and a cap gently placing it in your bag.

You sent a text your older brother saying you'll be going to Roppongi and will be back before midnight and got a "ok, stay safe, message me when you get there." as a reply.aWith that done you walked you way to the nearest train station greeting a few classmates along the way. You made pyour way to the counter to purchase a ticket and wait for a solid 5 minutes before the train to Roppongi was called, the train was pretty croweded considering it was the weekends and there was a new shopping mall that just oppened in the area.  It was suprisingly quick considering the travel time was normay longer and slower, you got off the train not before helping an old lady get to the platform.

You walked trough the busy streets of Roppongi passing several small stalls and a few several malls, the streets were busy and loud, music blasting from each store front the boisterous music competing in volume trying its best to attarct the most customers, even in the day this place is always so loud and livey. You stopped at a cafe in the near outskirts of the main city, it was less loud and had more of a calm feel to it, youd prefer this place than the city anyday. As you got closer to the cafe you spotted a man with long black hair with bleached accents stiiting under one of the purple parasols shading the tables and chairs outside the cafe, instead of his normal pigtails, his hair was held up in an elegant bun and wore a fold framed non-perscription glasses. You called out to the man and he shot a look your way

"Ah there you ar-"

"my food?"

"yeah yeah here" the man handed you a bag of (f/d) and strawberry shortcake with extra jam and cream

"good" you opened the bag to inspect the contects to see if it actually had extra cream and jam, and once you finished you smiled satisfied. "thank you"

His face showed pure "genuine" shock "You?! Thanking me?! Oh my i must be dreaming, have you had a change of heart? Oh ive been blessed!" he dramatically put his hand on his mouth and prentented to faint "someone catch me this is to overwhelming!" he fell backwards and you had to catch him despite your raging urge to let him fall. "get up Ran you're heavy" you push him upwards to help him stand up and he stood with a huff and brushed himself off even tough he didnt even fall.

"where's Rin? You said looking around "I tought he'd be here" Ran scoffed in disbelief "Wow im the one whos standing right here beside you and you look for my brother? Im hurt (n/n) "  you shook your head and took out the (f/d) from the bag opening the can

"well thats because his attitude is more tolerable than yours" 

Before he could have time to reply you dragged him out of the cafe's property and led him to the alley near by.

"enough folling around I plan on tending to my plants before going home, where are the guys you were talking about" he pulled out his phone and searched for a bit before placing the phone in your hands, "thats where they usually are, i got it from some residents around here" you looked at the picture and the coordiantes "and how are we going to get there?" he smiled big and toothy

"I tought youd never ask, were taking my bike" you took your bag and pulled out the wig and cap you brought "I tough so" you tied your hair up and put on the cap, placing the wig and appliying a bit of wig glue around the rim to make sure it wont fall of during the ride.

"kay im done let's go" the two of you walked to where his bike was parked back at the cafe, he got on the bike and revved it up and signalled you to hop on. The two of you sped trough the streets of roppongi

"AH- PLEASE-" you stomped on the man's nose as his blood gargled in his nose as he struggled to breath. 

"please? Pathetic, look at you begging for me to stop, to listen to your pleas, but tell me, did you listen to all those women who said no?" you crouched down to reach the man's height 

"did you listen when they told you that it hurt, or was uncomfortable with what you were doing?" the man stayed silent, his breathing was ragged and rough.

" i asked you a question." a hard blow landed on the mans stomach as he wheezed in pain, unable to scream due to the damage done to his body. 

"NO- I DIDNT-- IM SOR-" a painful smack hit him across the face. 

" it shouldnt be me you should be apologizing to, its all the women youve hurt and scared" you looked at Ran and answered as if he already knew what you were thinking. 

" no i dont have the women's adresses or names, i never received any info on it" you frowned dissapointed

"well i guess we'll just have to end this guys misery dont we?" he smiled at you and looked blankly at the man

 " you do the honors"  the man panic thinking this would be the last moment he would breath, but in reality you were just going to make him pass out, unlike ran you were "merciful" to those you beat up. You punched his face hard and blunt knocking him out. 

"my job here is done, drive me to the station?"

"whats the magic word? ~" the man sang annoyingly, you really really wanted to punch this guy's guts right now and leave him cold and passed out but you didnt wnat to walk to the train station. You chcked the time on your watch and the clocked flashed 4:45, it was pretty decent since you left at around 10 in the morning. You sighed defeated really not wanting to walk. 

"Ran will you please drive me to the station?" he smiled content, "alright". 

You got on his bike and he sped his way trough the streets ince again and dropped you off at the station. The two of you bid your goodbyes and you had told him to say hi to Rindou for you, he simply smiled and left. The ride home was tahnkfully peaceful, you had wipped your shoes and removed your wig at the stations bathroom and discarded the tissues in the bin. You opened your phone to find several missed calls from your older brother. 

"shit I forgot to text him" you muttered under your breath. You called him and sent apologetic looks to the people around you, bowing at them because of the ruckus you'll cause. 

"hello? Aniki?" you kept your voice hushed and low. 

"are you ok? you didnt text me and i was starting to get worried" you smiled at his reaction, your brother was a man that had a tough facade, which scared people, it made them think he was just a mean gangster, but in reality, he was extrenly kind and caring to those he loves and holds dear. 

"yes im ok, im sorry for not texting you when i got there, i forgot" he sighed relieved. 

"its alright just make sure to get home safe" "dont worry I will, i gotta hang up im on the train, love you"

"love ya to (n/n) keep safe" a long beep was heard as he hung up, you once again bowed and sent apologetic bows to the people in the train and they simply bowed back, well more like nodded but what is is what it is. You got off the train and walked your way towards one of the nearby beaches where you had set up your own makeshift garden, it was littered with nightshades and foxgloves, which you sold after you processed it extracting its poision and seeling it a pretty decent price. Was it illegal? Yes, yes it was, could it pottentially get you in trouble? Yes, yes it could, and could it pottentially be a gateway to a more darker path in life presumably in the mafia of a larger crime gang? Yes, yes in fact. 

You turned left to where the big stone which was hiding the plants only to see a man standing in the patches of nightshades and foxgloves. You stopped in your tracks, usually no one was there, infact, the only person who ever came there was you. Maybe it was the fact that it was a pretty secluded area, and the fact that atleast 6 murders happened there, including the nightshade poisoning incident, people were advised not to go. But there stood a figure looming in the darkness, you were readey to fight as you got closer you were able to make up who was the man standing in your garden, and there he was, in all his glory Hanma Shuji. 

[cosmicjoke]

I'm really excited about this extra story we're getting about Levi, so of course, even though we only have the first four pages of rough draft sketches, I want to talk about them, haha.

The first page shows us a shot of Levi watching his mother, Kuchel, and even from this rough draft, and the translated dialog, assuming it's accurate, we can see Levi viewed his mother in an almost ethereal light, his dialog talking about how the filth and rottenness of the Underground seemed all the more extreme in contrast to his mother's grace. Levi is looking at his mother from behind, and Kuchel seems to be drinking tea and looking out the window. It's almost a whimsical impression. The two panels frame her, from Levi's perspective, as almost angelic it seems. I think we can assume from this that Kuchel stood out among the general inhabitants of the Underground in terms of her comportment and demeanor. We know Kuchel came from the surface, only fleeing to the Underground out of desperation to escape the king's persecution. I'm guessing Kuchel came from a fairly well to do family and life, given the Ackerman's position in relation to the crown before they were perceived to be a threat and hunted down. We kind of get that too from Kenny's interaction with his grandfather, and how he reminded Kenny of how he used to dote on him.

By contrast, then, it throws Levi's childhood, having been born in the Underground, into extreme poverty and deprivation, into literal darkness, into stark relief. It would make sense that Levi would latch on to any crumb of beauty and light and hold that image dear and close to his heart, given the darkness and despair he's otherwise surrounded by, which otherwise defines his existence.

And that image of his mother, this idealized image, becomes only more understandable when we cut to the next panels and pages, and see the harsh reality of Levi's life.

He's getting beat up, and brutally at that. We see a full grown man punching him in the face, before he's kicked back several feet to crash into a wall or furniture or something of the like. This whole image really stands out to me and has affected me deeply, because it's such a stark contrast itself to the image of Levi we've come to know. Of course, when we first meet Levi, even in "No Regrets", he's a full grown man and more than physically capable of taking care of himself. He's, in fact, physically superior to other full grown men, and any physical altercation between him and others is, inevitably, going to end with the other party getting their ass handed to them.

But here, for literally the first time ever, we see the opposite. Levi's getting manhandled and beaten down, he's getting beaten up. We have to remember here, Levi is just a little boy. He can't have been even ten years old when Kenny found him, and given what the men here say about him and his appearance, I doubt he's much, if any older, at this point. The men talk about him being just "bones", which tells me, even with Kenny looking after him, Levi still isn't getting much to eat. I think we can extrapolate from that, that Levi was still largely on his own at this point and having to fend for himself. Kenny wasn't coddling him by any means, which isn't any kind of surprise. Also just the fact that Levi is there, surrounded by these men, on his own, seems to lend itself to that assumption. I don't think Kenny was around too much.

We also learn that Levi went to get back something that his mother was forced to sell to feed them, which again highlights how much she meant to him, how desperate he was at that point to hold on to the memory of her. He says earlier that her grace is the only thing he really remembers clearly from that time. I'm assuming he means the time spent with his mother. The few, short years he had with her. I think this is incredibly heartbreaking, that his memory of his mother, it seems, is hazy at best. That the one, good thing he had in his life is a fleeting memory. He's really just left with an impression of her. The fact we see her from Levi's perspective, from behind, not seeing her face, but framed in this ethereal pose, also seems to suggest as much. It would make sense then that a physical object which belonged to her would mean so much to him, why he would risk his life to try and get it back. I think that also highlights just the desperate circumstances of Levi's life, that something so small would mean so much to him. This need to hold on to the memory of his mother, even if he can only find it through this object. It demonstrates the deprivation of his life.

The other aspect of these four pages that's really devastating of course is what these men say about Levi and how they regard and treat him. I've talked a lot about how Levi grew up in an environment in which life was seen and treated as worthless, and how that makes his own attitude toward life, the way he values and cherishes life, so remarkable. And we really see that disregard for life played out and demonstrated here with how these men treat and talk about Levi.

They talk about him like he isn't even there, like he's an object. Their immediate reaction to his presence and attempt to take back what belonged to his mother is to kill him. They talk about cutting him up into pieces and feeding him to the pigs, and they brutally beat him. We can see on the third page that Levi is curled up in agony, face twisted in pain, his arms wrapped around his midsection from the kick he just took to the gut. Again, we have to remember this is happening to a little boy, to a young child, all for the crime of wanting to retain a piece of his mother whom he had to watch die right in front of him from starvation and illness.

The men then start discussing other uses for Levi, and most horrific of all, they suggest making him do the work his mother did, suggesting he's inherited her "talent", which of course means performing sex work. Again, this is truly beyond the pale, more so when you once more consider Levi's age. This immediately reminded me of what Mikasa went through too, being abducted to be sold into a sex trafficking ring. We have to assume that the men that kidnapped Mikasa meant to take her to the Underground. But Levi is already there. This is the world he was born into. These are the kinds of men that populate that world. People who are willing, without qualms, to brutally beat a young child, kill a young child, sell a young child into the sex trade. I really don't think people give enough thought to the nightmare that was Levi's life, to the hellscape that was his world.

Some people have the nerve to criticize Levi for his violence later in life, but when you're faced with the terrible reality of his childhood here, Levi's violence becomes more than understandable. When you grow up in a world like this, when you grow up surrounded by men like this, men who are willing to do to a child what these men are doing to Levi, and what they're threatening to do to Levi, violence becomes the only option. These are the type of men Levi compared Eren too during the raid on Liberio, when he told Eren he never thought he would turn out like the scum he grew up with in the Underground. Men who would hurt anyone and do anything for self-gain. This is who Levi was referring to.

The last page shows what seems to be the men standing around Levi, discussing what to do with him. In the last panel, we see one of the men leaning in close to Levi, seemingly holding him by his hair and smiling at him in what's obviously a devious and cruel expression, even in these rough sketches. Again, this is the kind of world Levi grew up in, these are the kinds of people he was forced to survive among.

I talk a lot about how Levi is really a miracle of a man, because he held onto his humanity, onto his kindness and goodness, onto his value for life, despite everything in his life growing up, and even into his early adulthood, doing its utmost to rob him of those things. And I think, from the few pages we get here, seeing just a taste of what Levi endured as a child, it drives that point home all the more. Levi really is a miracle of a man, because of how he defied the odds. Because of how he rejected what his life tried to force him to become. He could have so easily turned out like the men who are torturing him here. Men who have no value for any life, not even the life of a child. But Levi instead turned out to be exactly the opposite. To be someone who gave his whole life for the lives of others. That's incredible.

Anyway, that got a lot longer than I intended, as usual, lol. But I just wanted to talk about these few pages a little bit more, and how moving and heartbreaking and devastating they are, but how they also prove all the more why Levi is a man who deserves so truly to be admired. He's a good man, and he became a good man despite growing up surrounded by, and even reared by, bad men. Truly astounding.

[killsaki]

stay home ☆ you want to go out, but your step brother has other ideas.

ran haitani x f!reader

2k words | minors dni

cw / tw : stepcest, dubcon, fingering, oral (f! receiving, exhibitionism-ish, jealous/possessive undertones. — be so incredibly nice or i’ll deactivate.

“you’re not goin’ out in that, are you?” amethyst eyes peer over at you from where your step brother is sitting on the couch. it makes you stop for a second, pursing your lips while squinting at him, blinking a few times to hopefully convey your loss for words.

“now, why would that matter to you?” you tilt your head, shaking it. ran has never cared to speak on any decision you made before. not who you chose to hang around, when you chose to leave, and especially not what you wore. but ever since you came back from college, that seems to be all that comes out of his mouth.

“because ‘m older,” he shrugs. this summer is supposed to be for you, your dad and ran’s mom have vacations lined up back to back for the majority of it. so, you were going to do whatever the hell you wanted in your hometown before you transferred from your community college to the major university across the country—at least that was what you had been planning for the last two months. “and you should respect your elders.”

he doesn’t move from his seat, just spreads his arms along the back of the couch, rolling his head to look up at you, waiting for your eyes to meet his own before he gives you a small, disingenuous smile.

“and maybe ‘cause my mom told your dad i would keep an eye on you while they’re gone.” he turns back to whatever he had playing on the tv, raising his hips to adjust his seating.

“i dont need you to babysit me.” you grumble, walking towards where you lanyrd hangs by the front door to escape the conversation. only, of course, your designated hook is empty. “haitani.” 

“oh, guess you need these to leave, huh?” he doesn’t look back as he holds up your keys, shaking them tauntingly before wrapping the lanyard’s material around his fingers and pocketing them.

“give me my keys.” you sigh, dragging the words out like a pleading child. you already know this is going to be useless, if you learned anything from the past six years you’ve spent as a stepsibling to the two toned haired man, it’s that he gets off on tormenting others.

“i’m just looking out for you.” he almost sounds sincere, but then you make the mistake of looking at him. and even with the distance between you and where he’s now standing beside the couch—you can make out the look of sadistic amusement written all over his face.

“you can look out for my foot when i put it up your ass.” you smile tighty, making your way towards him.

“nah, i’m not into that.” he shakes his head, clearly not bothered by your words or the intimidating look you’re trying to give him.

you give up on talking, finding no use when everything that comes out of his mouth is just to tease you. he meets you in the middle of the kitchen, as soon as he’s close enough you try to get your keys, shoving your hand in his sweats pocket, but you find nothing—well, not anything metal. you find warmth, something much rounder, softer than your keys.

“pervert.”

with wide eyes and burning cheeks, you draw your hand back, pressing it to your chest.

“i just—i want my keys.” you blink, face burning as you look everywhere but up at the deep lavender eyes you can feel staring down at you.

“i know you just watched me put them in my other pocket.” you can feel your stomach turn at how he speaks so coolly. “if you wanted to touch my dick you could’ve just asked.”

“what?!” you cringe, finally looking back at him. “you’re disgusting.”

his eyes are low, an eyebrow raised, long braided hair accentuates his face. you realize you haven’t stood this close to him since you’d arrived, only now recognizing how different his stature is. he’s always been tall, but the few inches he’d grown, plus the weight he’d put on—it’d made all the difference.

“you’re the one who grabbed my dick.” he does that stupid shrug again as he licks his lips, not bothering to fight the smirk that plasters itself on his face. no longer bothering to hide how much he was enjoying tormenting you.

“on accident.” you retort, eyes falling to his other pocket, hesitant to try to retrieve the keys again.

“aw, sure.” he nods his head, looking back towards the living room—glancing down at you for a split second before walking that way, and like a needy toddler, you pad behind him.

“i didn’t mean to.” you argue again, though you know, that he knows that you really didn’t.

“whatever you say.” is all you get back.

“just give them to me!” you nearly run into his back when he suddenly stops just before the couch.

“okay,” he turns back to you, keys in his palm, pulling them out of the pocket they definitely were not originally put in. “you can fuck me for them.”

your jaw physically drops. you can only blink up at him. he looks down at you, head tilted to the side as he wants for your answer. your lanyard stays wrapped around his hand—the metal resting in the center of his palm, just an arm away.

“eat shit, haitani.” you try to put more bite in your words—but they come out weak. your arm extending in an attempt to snatch the keys, but he pulls back that much faster.

“gross.” he sneers, “you into that?” 

“you’re awful.” your face scrunches again in annoyance. “we’re related, you fuck.”

“hm, but we’re not?” he says it so cheerfully, like he’s so sure of himself. you’re sure he’s delighted you’ve been playing so far into his game.

“can i please just—” you try reaching for them again, to no avail. this time though, ran catches your wrist. you have no time to pull away before he bends it behind your back and uses it as leverage to push you down over the back of the couch.

“what was that?” you can feel his breath as he talks by your ear, body folded over your own. “please what?”

“ran—“ you cut yourself off with a gasp as you feel his dick rub against your ass.

“yeah?” he leans back, grinding his waist against yours. your tight clothing makes it easy to feel his hardening cock. “thought i was gross? you’re begging for me now?”

“as if,” you try to push yourself up, to jerk free from his grasp. but all that training has to be good for something. “just let me go ran!”

“aw, but you’re getting wet,” he notes out loud, his free hand coming between the two of you to adjust his cock so that it was pressing against your cunt with each roll of his hips. “‘can feel it through this stupid fucking skirt.”

it makes you pant, the warmth of it, the thickness—the dirty dirty thought of getting turned on this easily, and by him of all people.

“really want me to stop?” he asks softly, seemingly giving you an out. but the heat pooling between your legs, the image of his soft lavender eyes as you look over your shoulder at him, the way his eyelids hang low with lust, it clouds your mind too much for you to be logical.

you bite your bottom lip as you shake your head, keeping eye contact as the stupid god damn smirk reappears.

“yeah?” is the only thing you hear before the sound of ripping material.

“ran!” 

“shut up,” he tears the skirt a bit more, right down the seams it feels, and all you can do is lie there. “hate this shit.”

you’re about to open your mouth to say something else, to chastise him more but the press against your slit steals the words from your tongue.

“now these,” he runs his finger up and back down, pressing the wet, soft lace into your skin. “i like.”

you close your mouth, biting your lips in an attempt to silence the pathetic sounds building in your throat the second ran peels your underwear to the side. but it almost immediately becomes impossible with the way his fingertips feel against the most sensitive part of you.

he takes his time, pressing small circles around your clit and making your knees wobble before retracting back to tease your entrance and watching as your hips try to push back on him.

“ran, please.” you drag out, impatience coursing through your veins right along with the small bits of pleasure he’s allowing you.

“now you are begging for me.” he chuckles lightly, but gives in and presses his middle finger into your cunt down to the knuckle. “thought i was mean? or was it disgusting?”

he adds another before you can even think to form a response. you can feel every curve of his slim, long digits as they drag out of you slowly before he presses them back in and rolls his wrist. nowy you do press back on them, trying to fuck yourself on them, desperate for what he’s not giving.

“so desperate, i thought you didn’t wanna fuck your step brother?” you hear his voice lower, feel his body crouch behind you. but the hold on your wrist, the fingers in your heat don’t move an inch. “who’s gross now?”

he nudges your legs apart with his knees, and however he does it—you can’t see anything but the black given to you by the couch cushion you've shoved your face into, you feel him lick up his own fingers, lick along your slit and attach his lips to your clit immediately sucking in pulses.

“fuck, fuck—” you can feel your legs about to give out, and he must feel it too because the hold on your arm is gone and is now bruising at the curve of your ass. he kneeds at the soft skin, as his other hand starts to rotate, fingers curling in against your soft walls in attempt to find that spot that’ll have you creaming on his face.

it only takes seconds for him to find it, even shorter for you to start chanting out his name as you grind down against him. doing all you can to hold yourself up, you can’t even think about the feeling of his stupid fucking lips smirking against your pussy as he brings you closer and closer to the edge. because even as your legs quake, your cunt spasms and gives him what he’s been working for, he doesn’t let up.

you attempt to move away but you’re far too weak in the legs, too weak everywhere to even really try. thank god your phone rings from where it somehow fell on the floor.

“yeah?” you hear him answer, though his fingers still push against your clamping walls languidly. 

“no shit, this is mitsuya, huh?” he laughs darkly, pushing his fingers deeper, rougher inside you and it makes your stomach drop. “nah, my sister’s not coming out tonight.”

you hear silence behind the speaker between your overstimulated pants, and then ran is up again, fingers withdrawing from your cunt. and you try to catch your breath, but your sweet step brother doesn’t give you a chance before the phone is held up to your ear.

“go on, tell him you’re not coming out.” he says, moving behind you to drop his sweats.

mitsuya says your name through the phone hesitantly. you were supposed to drive across town to meet him and his friends, spend the night at his place. and you knew it was a bad idea the moment you agreed to it, that ran—even as nonchalant as he was about you before—would most definitely be pissed if he was to find out. and if you weren’t dripping down your thighs with arousal, your mind wasn’t fuzzy from the movement of ran loudly running the tip of his heavy cock along your slit; you probably would bite your tongue right now before giving away that you were fucking your stepbrother.

or maybe you’d question why ran didn’t have that much of a reaction to who was on the line.

but the feeling of him kissing your nape and lining himself up with your entrance pulls all thought from your head and you rush out something so you can just get the fuck off the phone and fully focus on pleasure.

“‘can’t come out—” you gasp as he presses the thick head of him past your entrance. “i have something to do at home.”

repost of a repost ! (my fic tho!)

comments + feedback appreciated !

[shoyoist]

rekha :(((( just to torture ourselves what kind of angsty scenario do you imagine would bring hanma to tears if he’s in a relationship with you? sobs or is it only the death of those few he cares about that can break a man like him :(((( bye i’m so sad over him now pls

content: fem!reader (feat. my selfship content), established marriage, papa! shuji, angst. accidental pregnancy. mention of not wanting kids, family-related insecurities. thank you for indulging me rivvy<3

note: ok listen! i've been thinking about this all day. shuji isn't much of a crier, but when he does cry, it's over the people he loves.

shuji always says to you that he doesn't wanna have kids. and hey, you're cool with that. you don't need kids to make a family and a home with him.

just the two of you is plenty enough<33

but you get one accidental pregnancy after the other, and you find yourselves with two or three kids that shuji ends up loving more than life itself.

he jokes to you every now and then about how he doesn't know why he was so apprehensive about the idea before.

he's so happy! he loves his little kids, they share his and your features so evenly, their bubbly giggling at his silly faces are so adorable, taking care of them is so fun and god, he's just so full of love and joy.

until he's painfully reminded of why he didn't want to have kids— when they grow older and their personalities start clashing with his.

as a father, shuji jumps from too easygoing to too overprotective real quick. he finds something like their secret cigarette stash, that they've been drinking at parties, or they miss a curfew or two and it gets him irrationally mad at them — and when shuji's angry, he yells </3

he's just concerned for his kids because he knows full well what a reckless, dangerous childhood is like. and while he wants to be the chill parent so bad, he gets scared sometimes.

and his fear for his kids' safety comes out as anger and yelling. and his kids take after him, so his anger only makes their tempers flare up — which often results in a shouting match between father and children.

and while shuji tries to stay kind, sometimes, his kids say the meanest things at him.

(credits to my gf for these lines btw! this is actually from my selfship 🤭) one time, shuji is trying to confiscate his son's phone and ground him for a bit for staying out of the house a whole day and night after a prior argument, and it goes like this ↓

“give me your phone”

“what the fuck, you're not serious- i'm a grown ass adult!”

“give me your phone. you're not fucking grown. you're grounded, and i'm keeping tabs on you from here on out. now hand it over or i swear to god, i will take it from you”

his tone is threatening enough, and your son has no choice but to hand over his phone and shuji shuts it down and pockets it.

your son hisses under his breath like “this is bullshit”

and shuji retorts with a “this is how being a parent is”

and then his son says, in the meanest tone he could muster— “yeah, because you and mom were sooo smart for having so many fucking kids while being world's most wanted.”

and for a tense moment, there's a silence before shuji just heads to the front door and his shoes on, takes helmet and jacket and storms out, slamming the door shut behind him. he drives somewhere like yokohama wharf and just. breaks down and cries. all by himself. imagine ;( </3

he lights himself a smoke for the first time in years, tears rolling down his cheek and hanging for a moment at his jaw before they fall and stain his jeans with tears, and he's just wondering if he's a good father at all in the end.

he cries and cries and cries— and when he finally comes home to you late at night after everyone else has gone to bed, his eyes are puffy and red, and his hair is dishevelled. he looks so sad.

and when you hold out your arms for a hug, this big, 6'6 (because he was 6'4 at age 16. he's grown at least a couple of inches since then!) tall man, smelling of cigarettes and tears in his leather jacket and ripped jeans just slumps into you, his wife that he loves so much and just wants to be good to.

he's silent as you lead him to bed and help him undress, and while you're in bed, wrapped up in eachother's arms under the blankets, he asks you in a raspy, hoarse whisper, “am i... am i a good father to the kids, baby?”

and god, you kiss him, kiss his forehead and his face and his hair and you tell him yes, yes shuji you're such a good father to our children, and you're so good to me! so good to me and so good to the kids, shuji. you're okay.

he can't help but cry again after he hears that. he cries quietly but he sobs out loud, body racking and shaking your shoulders along with his own each time he takes a ragged breath in.

shuji knows he's not a family man. but god, god he wants to be one so bad. he wants to be good, for you and for his children that he loves so fucking much. and it makes him cry, whenever his fear overtakes him and convinces him that he may not be enough.

[saffron0v0]

thoughts on tachihara

The bbg of all time ‼️

In all seriousness though, if we're talking about my in depth thoughts of him, then here we go:

My thoughts on his background:

His life was hell from day one.

He was five when Shūnzen left for war. Five. His family was comparing a five year old to a whole grown ass man.

Just imagine how incapable they are of raising children. No wonder Michizō turned to a life of crime. The only thing they properly taught him was who Shūnzen was, and how much better he was than Michizō. The only reason he probably remembers how Shūnzen looks to this day is because of the sheer amount of pictures his family has on the wall. If I were in his position, I'd become sick to my stomach everytime I see a hint of any resemblance. Anything to remind me of his face that haunts me. The silhouette of his will always loom over me, to remind me of how much of a failure I am.

The fact that Tachihara probably didn't have his ability manifested back then must've made their judgements on him worse; they believed Shūnzen was a golden child, what is an 'ability-less' snot faced five year old against him? I don't think he ever got the chance to tell his parents about his ability, they don't seem like they'd give him the time of day to listen. Even if he did get the chance to tell them, you actually believe they'd praise him for it? They'd go straight to comparing how dull his ability is compared to Shūnzen, or some baseless comparison like that.

He somehow found out about what happened, and how Yōsano was seemingly 'responsible' for his brother's untimely death. She was the 'reason' he's suffering like this. He was probably either too young to understand the concept of suicide, or no one told him the truth, and with the fact that Yōsano blew up the ship, it's solid enough proof for anybody.

He lived in that deprecating excuse of a home for years, and years; forced to become a second version of his brother. He'd dye his hair out of spite, and would go in the exact opposite direction, because he wants to be his own person. He always planned to run away at one point, but then he overheard his parents planning to send him to a boarding school or something— Nope. Fuck this, he's done. He's leaving. He packed a few belongings, stole a wad of cash from his dad's wallet, and ran out the door to meet up with some gangster friends he might have. He lived in constant instability, probably exploited by his gangmates for highstake heists, and giving him this false sense of freedom he craved. That is, until the hunting dogs showed up.

This is where it gets the most fucked imo.

His time with the hunting dogs:

The hunting dogs were no rescue. They weren't there to give him a home. They were there to stop a small time gang from robbing a bank, eliminate them, and then leave. It's a cake walk for them. They just happened to come across an ability user with too much wasted potential. What makes it sadder is that he was aware of it. He was fourteen, and to him, this was his golden chance to proof that he could be so much better than anything his parents imagined, all while being his own person. Them considering him nothing more than a comrade was something he was fine with. They probably told him of the surgeries beforehand, through a little deliberation, and no other options, he agreed to be a lab rat. It's saddening how much he went through for him to just end up being a military soldier like his brother.

He probably developed his reason to live because of some offhand comment made by either Fukuchi or Teruko. I'm unsure of when Jōnō, and Tecchō joined, but I could just imagine Tecchō feeling like his sense of justice is being tested when he allowed a young boy barely in his teens to join their ranks. Tecchō isn't much older than 20, but at least he was old enough to think for himself, Michizō's self preservation is quite questionable on the other hand. Jōnō would–in his own way–reassured(?) Tecchō's guilty conscience, and convinced Tecchō that Michizō had complete control over his decision, and that they didn't force him into anything; they merely gave him options. Tecchō isn't convinced, but he let go of the topic for a while.

Teruko might not be outright about it, but she's come to care for the hunting dogs, having a soft-ish spot for their youngest. She obviously adores Fukuchi, but that doesn't make her care less for Michizō. At first, I think she was indifferent, maybe even mocking, and when they trained together, she never held back; she had to wip this twig into shape. Her overall feelings for him were purely work related for a good while, but she eventually started to care for him. Hc: Whenever they had their monthly surgeries, she'd volunteer to share a room with him, (he doesn't know she's doing this, he just thinks they don't have enough rooms) and would keep him distracted from the post surgery fatigue, and pain by ranting about everything, and anything that comes to mind. After having him train under her for a year or three; she fully recognized his talents, and officially views him as capable enough to be a hunting dogs; she'll never tell him that though. (Their sibling relationship is my biggest comfort tbh.)

I don't think he had any particular hard feelings against the commander, but he could be unsettling under that goofy demeanor; Michizō always watched his step around this man. He'd never imagine himself, never in a million, years going against him, not in the same way he would years later.

Michizō was seventeen, with three years of experience as a soldier under his belt, having already been trained, and turned into an ideal superhuman soldier through medical malpractice, when it was finally time for him to be assigned on his biggest mission yet: infiltrate the Port Mafia ranks.

The Port Mafia mission

My heart self destructs at this one. The thought of him going in with a hardened-by-years-of-training heart, and leaving every month or two feeling softer, and his resolve weakening.

He's building meaningful relationships with so many people; the same people that happen to go against everything he stands for as a hunting dog. Hell, he started calling one of them big sis subconsciously. He has a complicated sort of rivalry with the Mafia's top assassin, but he couldn't say he genuinely hates him. (HE THINKS GIN IS A BOY TO THIS DAY IT'S TOO FUNNY NOT TO INCLUDE) The strongest Mafia executive smiles at him, and treats him with undue respect, which genuinely terrified Michizō at times; just imagining that smile turned into a betrayed scowl haunts him at night.

His periodical surgeries served as a wake up call, he never thought he'd feel so grateful for them before. He leaves remembering he has a mission to complete, ignoring the gnawing guilt in the back of his mind.

That's what kept him together for the two years he's been undercover.

Hirotsu knows there's something behind Michizō, but he has full faith in one thing, and that is when the time comes, Michizō would side with the Mafia, because that's where he truly belongs. He never expresses it, but his worry for the consequences that would face Michizō once he's exposed grows by the day.

More on Michizō:

We've seen Michizō's Mafia 'sona he puts up for the mission, and despite everything, it feels so genuine. He's that good of an actor. However, sometimes, I feel like that facade slips from time to time, and he's either genuinely happy, sad, worried, and angry. It scares him how he's starting to become genuine, and how true his Mafia 'sona is becoming. He's kind after everything, and he'll always care. He might be a 'traitor', but he'll do his darnest for people he cares for. The look on his face when Hirotsu, and Gin were in the hospital just reflected how guilty he was for hurting them. It was what sparked his confliction.

He may be a hunting dog in name, but he's a Mafioso in truth, and will forever have a place in his heart, and memories for both.

He's my blorbo, and I love him. 💕🌹

[wakandas-vibranium]

Not a Virgin

-- Pairing: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

-- Warning(s): 18+ minors DNI 👁️ smutty smut, age gap(legal), kissing, swearing, teasing, dirty talk, oral/fingering(v receiving) unprotected p in v sex, creampie, slight dom!joel if you squint, praise kink, you like it rough and of course Joel obliges.

-- Word Count: 3.7k

-- Summary: You are on your usual afternoon patrol in Jackson with your usual group and the guys your age won’t stop questioning your nonexistent sex life. 

-- A/N: Sorry, no beta reader(nobody likes me on this app) There shouldn’t be too many mistakes though. Please like, comment and reblog!

You’ve been in Jackson for a little over three years now and you were grateful. The outbreak turned your life upside down and seemed determined to take everything and everyone you loved. 

You were surprised to not only find a new home in Jackson but also a new found family you’ve grown to care deeply for. You got close to Maria quickly because she reminded you of your mom’s sister. She was the spitting image of your Auntie Giselle. Maria was kind enough to help you keep your locs in tip top shape. She was very sweet, but also a very firm when needed. 

You weren’t super close with the hundreds of people here in Jackson, but a good 20 or so had your back and they knew without a doubt that you had theirs. 

You were currently on your afternoon patrol with your usual group: You, Felicia, Melvin, Josh, and Joel. Your group patrolled the gate entrance Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays from 2pm to 8pm. 

It was a quarter to 7pm and you were ready for this patrol shift to be over. Not only because you were starving, but also because Josh wouldn’t shut the fuck up. As per usual, but today you were more miffed because you were hungry. Hangry. 

“I’m not a virgin, Josh. I just haven’t gotten any in 4 years.” You reluctantly explained to the taller man. 

Melvin and Felicia made taunting noises of pity and you rolled your eyes at them. Not everyone was as lucky as them to fuck like rabbits every chance they got. Joel of course didn’t say anything, but you could tell he was listening. His shoulders straightened and his grip on the gun loosened. Definitely a dead giveaway. 

“Well, don’t you miss orgasms?”

“Of course I do.” You huffed. 

“Damn, why so long then?”

“Because my husband died 4 years ago, you nosey asshole and I haven’t found anyone interesting enough to let fuck me.” 

“Well, no need to look any further, Y/N. I’m right here.” Josh boasted, holding up his hands as he did a full spin. 

“Oh, please,” you scoffed, waving off his no game having ass, “I want a real man, Josh. Not you.” 

Josh had been in Jackson almost two years now and he’s been a real gigantic pain in everyone’s ass, but he’s still family. Sort of. Yes, he was young and his bronze skin was gorgeous, but his impulsivity on patrols and all around arrogance was a major turn off. 

Plus, you fancied older guys with brown eyes anyway. 

“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m 31 just like you. If that ain’t grown then I don’t know what is.” 

“Well, maybe she’s into more mature dudes.” Melvin pointed out. You grinned at him and nodded in thanks. He was one of the few men your age who used his brain every now and then. 

“Well, how old was your husband?” Josh continued to prod. 

Felicia rolled their eyes at Josh’s invasiveness. He’d always intrude carelessly but it was still annoying. 

“My husband was 10 years older than me, but there’s more to being a real man than age, Josh.” 

“Like how?”

“Well, my husband took his time to learn my body. He was the type of man to make sure I finished twice before he did. Does that sound like you?”

“Hell yeah it does.” He lied right through his crooked teeth.

“Nah, I don’t think so,” You disagreed, “Cause from what I’ve heard, you cum after four pumps and all that tells me is that you’d be a waste of a fuck.” 

Melvin and Felicia snickered loudly while Joel at least attempted to hide his chuckle with a cough. Josh flushed as he stood there in embarrassment. 

Good. 

He talked too damn much. He should’ve just stood there and shut the hell up like the rest of y’all who were on patrol did.

Josh frowned at Joel as he noticed the older man covering his grin, “And just what the hell are you laughing at old man? You’re so scary nobody here wants to fuck ya.” 

“That’s not true.” Felicia laughed as they shook their pointer finger. 

“Definitely not true.” You chimed in, laughing even harder at Josh’s horrified face when Melvin nodded in agreement. 

“So, what?” Josh huffed, gesturing wildly to where Joel was perched, “You won’t fuck me, but you’ll fuck Miller? Are you serious?” 

“I’m sure Miller can last more than four pumps, so yeah...” You shrugged. 

Joel still didn’t utter a word, but he raised a curious eyebrow at you, no longer covering his knowing smirk. You shot him a soft smile before turning back to Josh’s aggravating ass. 

You had a thing for Joel that you refused to let be known. The older Miller was a mystery and simultaneously he reminded you of your late husband. You knew getting involved with Joel wasn’t a good road to go down for several reasons. However, there was a tiny voice in the back of your head and a deep ache between your legs that wanted you to push that big red, Joel Miller button and have as much fun as you could. 

“8pm switch!” Tommy called from the ground. 

Thank all the beings in the world for Tommy. You couldn’t hear any more comparisons from Josh or you were going to toss his giant ass over the railing. 

It was dinner time. 

Your patrol group usually ate dinner together for about an hour or so. 

Today was Wednesday which meant Joel stayed later because Ellie was spending the night at Dina’s. There’s no particular reason why you knew this information. You just did. 

Tonight they were serving stewed beef and potatoes. One of your favorites. You all prepared your plates and grabbed a half bottle of whiskey before sitting down at your usual table.

Josh moved to sit down next to you, but Felicia and Melvin swung their feet under the table and slammed them down next to you, making it impossible for Josh to sit down.

“Sorry Joshy,” Felicia started, “This table is for people who don’t cum quick.” 

You and Joel choked on a piece of meat and you refused to look up at Josh. Cause if you did you’d lose it.

Joel would never admit it, but he looked forward to patrols with your group and dinner. He was grateful to spend time with people other than his brother and surrogate daughter. 

A few months ago he started paying attention to the heated looks you’d give him when you thought he wasn’t looking. Still, he wasn’t gonna say anything. 

“I don’t cum in four pumps,” Josh growled. 

“Well, three pumps then.” Melvin shouted. 

You took a sip of your whiskey to refrain from making a guffawing noise. 

Josh shook his head and stormed off, “Fine. I’ll just eat outside you fuckers.” 

Dinner went very nice that evening. Everyone was more relaxed and in a good mood. Melvin started asking about your husband and you could tell Felicia thought it made you uncomfortable, but it really didn’t. You were glad to have friends to talk about your late husband with now. 

“Did y’all have any kids?” Melvin asked as he stabbed his last potato and shoved it into his mouth. 

“Nah, we didn’t really want kids. Plus I was born without a uterus so…” You trailed off awkwardly. 

You chanced a quick glance at Joel to see if he was listening and you jerked slightly when his intense eyes met yours. 

Fuck. Real smooth, Y/N. Real smooth. 

“What about you two? You gestured toward the energetic couple and grinned at them, “You two fuck so much I’m surprised Fel’s not already pregnant.” 

“My pull out game is strong.” Melvin grinned back at you. You held out your fist for him to bump and laughed softly when he did. 

“Was it Infected that killed your husband?” 

“Melvin!” Felicia admonished as they slapped their partner’s arm.

“No, it’s okay,” you reassured, “I’m at a place where I can talk about him now.” 

“Are you sure?” Felicia asked.

You nodded at them as you gave a small smile. 

“My husband and I were headed to a QZ in Atlanta. Things were going pretty well until a bomb went off 10 steps in front of us. I was a few paces behind him so he took most of the damage.” 

“Fireflies?” Joel asked as he sat forward, leaning his arms against the table.

You looked at him and nodded, “Fuckin’ fireflies, man.” 

“Marlene loves her fuckin’ bombs.” Felicia grunted.

Felicia and Melvin left a little before nine, leaving you and Joel there. Joel didn’t say much, but it was clear he enjoyed listening to you talk. It was a little after nine and you were ready to head home so you could masturbate, shower and go to bed. 

“I killed her.” Joel whispered as he leaned closer to you across the table.

“Who?” You whispered back as you peered into his intense brown eyes. 

“Marlene.” 

“H-how?” 

“I shot her twice.”

You don’t know if it was the one shot of whiskey, a full belly or if it was the sheer knowledge of Joel bringing justice to your husband’s killer, but you started giggling. 

Joel’s dark eyes widened in surprise and he only began to chuckle once you let out a full blown cackle. You both quieted your sounds as you received weird looks from some of the kitchen staff. You motioned for him to scoot closer so he would hear your breathless question. 

“Did she beg for her life?” You asked before bringing your half empty glass of water to your lips. 

“A bit.” Joel admitted as he shrugged nonchalantly. 

Your whole face lit us as you choked on your water, bursting into giggles again. It was the way he said it and how he tried to stop the corners of his lips from turning up, but you caught it. Joel let out a full blown belly laugh. It almost sounded like it hurt him to laugh. You wondered how long it’s been since he’s allowed himself to laugh like that. 

He should laugh more often. He had a dazzling smile and dimples that were partially hidden by his beard.

“You have a heart stopping smile Joel. You should smile more.” You reached out your hand and traced the outline of his lips. 

“I like your hair.” He complimented as he traced one of your locs, squeezing it curiously between his thumb and pointer finger. 

“Oh?” You beamed at him. Unable to stop your body from getting warm at the slightest touch from him. 

“Yeah it’s kind of like Maria’s but a little longer.” 

“You can pull on it while you fuck me from behind back at my place.” You propositioned.

Joel stood up as he gathered your trays and cups to throw away, “After you.” He gestured to the dining hall exit. 

Luckily, your house was not far from the dining hall. It was surely closer than Joel's. Joel picked you up as soon as you opened the door. You let out a shriek and wrapped your legs around his waist. You kissed him hungrily as he walked through the doorway, into the kitchen, and sat you on the counter. You nearly forgot he came over before to repair a few broken windows, which explains why he was so familiar with your house.

“Joel?”

“Yeah?” He breathed as he unbuttoned your yellow top. 

“You should shut and lock the door.” He took one look at the wide open front door before looking back at you with crimson cheeks. 

While he moved to close the door, you finished taking off your shirt and jeans. When he returned to the kitchen, you were still there where he left you, but only in your bra and underwear. You bit your bottom lip in response to him gawking at you and the erection in his blue jeans.

Once he was within arm's reach of you, you pushed two fingers behind his leather belt and pulled him in between your legs. 

You made quick use of unbuttoning the blue jean sweater he had on and once you had access to his full neck you licked a wide stripe before sucking a mark there. 

“Oh,” He murmured softly, “You like leaving a mark, huh?”

“Mhm, you’re mine.” 

“Damn right.” 

“Take me to my bed, please.”

“Your room’s still down the hall, right?”

“Yes.” You nodded. 

He picked you up and took slow steps towards your bedroom. Once you made it in your room he kicked the door shut before plopping you down onto your surprisingly comfortable mattress. You still haven’t gotten used to its fluffiness. 

Joel uncinched your bra and flung it across the room. He kissed your breast tenderly while placing his palms on either side of you, boxing you in. 

He leaned back to admire the wetness between your spread legs and let out a groan as he palmed himself through his pants. You were soaking wet.

“Goddamn you’re wet.” 

“All for you.” You hummed happily as he helped you out of your underwear. 

He leaned down on his forearms, big hands resting on top of your lower abdomen, licking a warm stripe up your wet slit. You jerked slightly in anticipation of the touch. It had been a long time since you had been handled in this way. You were almost positive that you were going cum within minutes. 

“You don’t have to finger me, you know?”

“Hmm? You don’t like being fingered?”

“No, I love it actually. It’s just that…when you finally slide your dick into me…”

“Yes?” He urged as he added a second finger and began to suck on your clit. 

“I like it to hurt a little bit.” You rushed out, biting back an obscene moan. 

“Naughty girl,” Joel quipped, adding a third finger, “I’m still gonna finger you a bit. I’m on the larger side.” 

“Oooh baby,” You let the pet name slip, moaning loudly, “I mean Joel—fuck!”

“No, you had it right the first time.” Joel chuckled, hooking his thick fingers upward and twisting them at a much faster pace. 

“Shit it feels so good.” You panted as he kissed your soft inner thighs gently. The complete opposite of what his fingers were doing. 

“Joel, I’m cu—“

“—I know, baby. I can feel it. Cum for me. I need you nice and wet for the good ole poundin’ I’m about to give you.” His filthy words, coupled with the sensual inflection in his voice, were enough to drive you home, your moans growing louder as he talked you through the best orgasm you'd had in years.

As you writhed against the bed, your fingers pulled at his soft silver-streaked brown waves. You couldn't decide whether you fancied his mouth or his fingers more. Either way, 10s across the board.

Joel backed up to remove his pants and underwear before settling both his knees on the bed. His hungry, chestnut eyes bore into yours as he jerked himself slowly in one hand. He smirked as your gaze drifted to his hard dick, mouth watering at the enticing sight. You ran your tongue across your bottom lip in anticipation. You wanted to taste him so bad. 

“Don’t get too excited. We’re savin’ that for another time,” He said as he motioned for you to turn around, “Hands and knees.” 

Once you assumed the position, Joel pulled you back against his hips to line his thick cock up with your entrance. In one swift motion, Joel was fully seated inside you. He stretched you pretty good with his fingers and you were soaked, but it still pierced a bit as you adjusted to him. It was that good kind of hurt that you missed. Joel had to be seven or eight inches in length, but his girth was astounding. 

You guess your luck was finally starting to come back around. 

You were already losing your mind, and he had only just slid inside you. You knew you weren't going to last. Joel pulled all the way out and slammed back inside, moving you higher up the bed. He thrusted a third and fourth time, and that tight coil in your stomach snapped. Your orgasm caught you both off guard. You had no choice but to lean forward into the pillow and scream as your thighs shook violently.

You came as hard and as loud as you wanted. Sleeping neighbors be damned. You'd been holding on to it for four long ass years. The orgasm was more than pleasant, but you knew the older man had more in mind for you.

“Fuckin’ hell, Y/N. I guess you’re giving Josh a run for his money, huh?” Joel teased as he gently rubbed your thick quivering thighs. 

If the circumstances were different, the utter surprise in Joel's voice would have made you snort. You were too busy cumming your brains out and sinking your teeth into the pillow to find any amusement at the time being.

“You good to go or do you need a minute?” He asked, smug as ever. Your head was still buried in the pillow, but you could hear the smugness in his voice clear as day. 

You lifted your head and cast a smoldering glance over your shoulder at him, “Shut up and fuck me.” 

“Yes ma’am,” He smirked as he lined himself up again and sank in until he bottomed out. 

“Ugh,” He grunted, “The way you wrap around me is gonna be a problem.” 

You giggled at the peculiar way he told you your pussy was tight as fuck. You rocked back into his slow thrusts, finding a flawless rhythm.

“Jo—Joel! Shit, you fuck me so good.” You whined as you reached under your thighs and played with his balls. 

“Goddamnit!” Joel cursed as his thrusts faltered just a tad. 

“You’re doing so good for me, baby. Takin’ every single inch I give you.” He praised, angling his hips before starting up at a merciless pace. 

Goddamn.

This man knew just what to say to get you over that fucking edge. 

The lack of a full-body mirror in your bedroom was bittersweet. You knew Joel must have looked downright mouth watering while he drilled into you from behind. You were also mindful that your eyes had rolled into the back of your head and that you were an incoherent slobbering mess.

Joel gathered as many of your medium locs as he could in one hand and yanked them back while his other hand gripped your waist and his hips brutally slapped against your soft, round ass.

The entire fucking room sounded like mouse traps going off.

“Fuuuck,” You cried out, eyes shutting tightly, “I can’t believe I’m cummin’ again.” 

“That’s alright,” he encouraged, letting out a low, guttural groan as he felt your walls clench around him once again, “Give it to me.” 

As you came, he landed two hard slaps on your bouncing asscheeks. Your mouth fell open in a silent O. You didn’t even realize that you were trembling, but Joel sure as hell did. You couldn’t remember ever feeling so blissed out like this. Has it really been that long? Or have you just never had this level of sex? Something to ponder about in the morning. 

Joel trailed steamy kisses down your sweat glistened back, scraping a fingernail down the back of your thigh as you rode out your consuming climax. 

He flipped you on your back in one hasty motion, tapping your sensitive clit with his swollen tip and slurping your hardened nipple into his hot mouth as he lined himself up with your drenched entrance.

He hovered over you, gazing into your lust filled eyes as he raised an eyebrow, “Do we need a break?” 

“Don’t fuckin’ play with me, Joel.” You huffed impatiently, slapping his backside for good measure. 

He shook his head fondly at you before plunging back inside you. His smile vanished swiftly as you both let out a ridiculously high-pitched moan.

You wrapped your legs around him even tighter and clung to his arms and shoulders as he fucked you into the mattress. You sobbed a moan as hot tears began to pool in your eyes as you were railed into a purer level of ecstasy with each calculated thrust.

“Are those tears, angel?” Joel slowed his pace, fucking into you deep and slow. 

“Yes. Hap—happy tears. I never thought I’d be able to experience pl—pleasure like this ever again.” You admitted breathlessly. 

“Thank me.” He ordered, licking the escaped tears that streamed down your cheeks.

“Thank you,” You praised, whimpering softly as he found that sweet spot inside of your core. You cupped his face in your hands and kissed him wherever your lips could land. His cheek. His nose. His bearded chin, “Thank you. Thank you Joel for fuckin’ me so good.” 

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

“Fuuuuck,” Joel whined as your praises got to him, “You’re welcome, sweet baby.” 

Joel locked his lips against yours in a desperate kiss, both moaning as your tongues danced together. His unrelenting thrusts and needy kisses were causing you to run out of air, but you couldn’t give a damn. If this was how you were gonna go out then so be it.

“You’ve fucked me into oblivion so now it’s your turn to cum. Please Joel.” You panted, eyes blown wide with anticipation. 

“Mmm,” He gasped as he felt his end nearing, “Where do you want it?” 

“Cum inside me.” 

His movements faltered for a brief moment as he thought about something then nodded his head in agreement. 

“Okay.” He grunted as he buried his face into your neck, sucking a bruise onto your shoulder. 

“Please, baby,” You begged as you felt his cock pulse inside of you, “Give me all of it.”

“I’m cummin’, baby.” Joel warned, panting as his rocks lost their rhythm and became more erratic. The first stripe that shot inside of you made you shiver and you jolted right along with Joel. 

“Ahhh!” You would have let out an ear-piercing scream if your voice hadn't already been shot to hell. Another climax ripped through you. You bit your bottom lip and clung to Joel for dear life as you both shook with pleasure. 

“That’s one for the history books.” Joel blurted as he snuck a quick peek at you before settling back down along your spent body.

You both burst out laughing as you tried to calm your hash pants. 

Both of your untamed laughs eventually turned soft giggles then into steady breaths, and within 10 minutes the room was filled with soft snores.

[mikecardenmpreg]

so real quick i need to explain something about warped tour 2008 before i get into this story. bloodsource (you know, the blood donation place) had this thing where if you were 18 or older, signed up beforehand to give blood at warped tour, and then actually showed up and gave blood, you would be given a wristband that allowed you full access to the parking lot where all the artists parked their buses. this a crazy gimmick and i hope it's something that isn't revive with the new generation of warped tour because, as i'll get into, it wasn't executed very well.

so anyway when i was 15 years old, i went to warped tour 2008 with an 18 year old who was on that list. she had signed up with a different friend who was 18 but that friend bailed on her so she took me instead. first thing we did when we met up was head for the bloodsource tent to get our wristbands. my friend swore to the bloodsource lady that we would 100% come back to give blood, knowing we wouldn't be able to because i didn't have ID that matched the name on the list and i wasn't old enough to give blood anyway. the bloodsource lady was skeptical (and rightly so) but gave us the wristbands anyway (does anyone else see the problem with not IDing us? because an underage girl was just given an all access pass to all the musicians on warped tour). after receiving our wristbands, we immediately made our way to the buses. my friend was in love with william, so that's who we were looking for. we didn't find him (we never did, actually), but we did find tai...'s bus. we knew what it looked like because they kept showing it in episodes of taitv (maybe they shouldn't have done that?). andy was hanging out so we said hi and got pictures. really nice guy. we decided to come back later, because there were a few sets we wanted to catch and we wanted to check out the merch.

fast forward to later that evening. we ended up out by the buses again around dusk. this is where i'd like to pause and mention that in this bus lot, there was no security whatsoever and hardly any lights set up. super unsafe, super sketch. the only security was set up outside of the gates and only to check badges and wristbands. once you were inside, you were shit out of luck if something happened to you. idk if this was just a thing at this particular amphitheater or a massive oversight with this bloodsource gimmick in general, but whatever. it's not like there was (and still is) a huge problem with grown ass men sexually assaulting literal children in the scene or anything.

ANYWAY we went back to tai...'s bus to once again look for william. and once again he was not there. but you know who was? mike. and he was literally standing all by himself in the near dark, doing nothing. he wasn't drinking or smoking or seemingly waiting for anything. the man was literally alone outside just standing there. now it had been less than a year since the last time i met him and made a fool out of myself (i was 14 and awkward and in love!!!) and i was pretty anxious about word vomiting at him again so i kind of stayed quiet. and most unfortunately for my friend, mike also decided to stay very quiet and kinda just said single word sentences at us. not in a rude or mean way, just in an awkward, probably high out of his mind way. there was a lot of awkward silences and stares. but nothing weird, mean, or inappropriate. in his defense, we had caught him off guard, in the growing dark, on what was essentially his front porch, and one of us wasn't talking. so whatever, he was weird, we were weird, we took pictures, thanked him, and left.

we were a few buses away when i felt like i was being watched, so i turned around and there was mike again, attempting to hide himself behind the bus but absolutely failing to because i could fully see him. it's too hard to describe what i saw so here's a rough approximation

(except he was not smiling, he had that classic dead eye mike carden stare on his face)

and the thing is, we made eye contact. so he knew i saw him. and i was like well ok that's totally normal and i turned back around and whispered to my friend "so...he's watching us" and she said "he is not" and i said "ok but he is" and she turned around and you know what? he was still there. and she nervously laughed and grabbed my arm and we kinda hauled ass out of there.

now i do not really have any explanation for this, similar to having no explanation as to why william standing in my hallway in his underwear. i have to assume he was simply confused about our presence in the bus lot, but also incredibly stoned, so not able to make quick judgements and act like a normal person. but who really knows what's going on in that dude's noggin. im just glad he's way more normal now.

[bibimbinge]

10 BL boys I want carnally <3

Much much love to @ayansbff for tagging me!! I hope you know what you’re in for cause tagging me in a post to simp?? ok! I have a reason to SCREAM about these men who made me question my asexuality.

Mantrisanu - Jeng (Step by Step)

nobody but my acemate (@mooniyuta) knows just how obsessed I was with Mantrisanu during the Step by Step era. When I tell ya I forgot I was ace as soon as I saw his giant 1.90m ass on screen.. I forgot I was even a person. I am a squirrel needing to climb a tree. WOW! just WOW!! Step by Step? No! Step On Me.

Jam Rachata - Tinn/Jiu (Laws Of Attaction/To Sir With Love)

just Jam Rachata in general. He’s just a few years older than me but I will call him Daddy. When I saw him in Laws of Attraction I was intrigued then I stayed for the plot then I got hooked with their chemistry. Lucky for me I’ve never watched To Sir With Love before, so I did… and I can hear the wedding bells ringing as soon as I saw how his hunky meaty goodness handle that rusted half scissors turned murder weapon.

First Kanaphan - Alan/Sand (Moonlight Chicken/Only Friends)

I’ve been salivating for this man since Not Me. I suffered through The Shipper for this man. It’s not just his beautiful handsome gorgeous self that does it for me, its also his charm. Like he’s so charming and has this aura about him that’s just warm and homey. His smile is like the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. His eyes are just so sparkly and beautiful, if I ever meet him irl I’d probably trip over myself getting lost in them. I understand Khaotung not wanting to share him with anyone because I would do the same.

Bright - Yai (I Feel You Linger In The Air)

He’s so handsome I can cry. This man is like Jam x2. Like he has such a perfect face for male lead in romance genre. Where has he been all my life?? Maybe its Yai the character that feeds my deluluism, but when General Yai popped up in ifylita with a freakin porn stache and I wasn’t immidiately appalled, I knew I was a goner.

Neo - Boston (Only Friends)

Neo has always been cute to me. Catches my eye in every series he’s in but then Only Friends happened AND I WAS FLOORED!!! It was like ya know when you enter your teen years and that cute person you’ve grown up with had a growth spurt and you’re like daaaang when did you get hot 👀 Yeah that’s me with Neo.

Ohm Pawat - Pat (Bad Buddy)

specifically Ohm as Pat cause he was chunky and meaty and oof his arms were distracting as fuck. Anytime he showed up with that damn tank top I was like pls may I bite. He’s just so *feral animalistic growling* I personally love a man whos chunky meaty mucles and looks like they can lift me. AND HIS SMILE??? HIS TWINKLING EYED SMILE?!?!?!?! I’m gone. what a baaaabe!!!

Try imagining? alrighty if you say so 😚

Keita Machida - Kurosawa (Cherry Magic)

I remember watching cherry magic for the first time in 2020 and I was in awe. He is so dreamy and handsome. I hate to say it again guys but.. his smile!! Like I’m obsessed with him!! Both me and bestie screamed when we saw him in Alice In Borderland (overgrown blondie with roots showing and he is messy and he smokes and I was barely breathing) and then scream cried when his head EXPLODED!?!?!?!) Anyway, I’d marry this guy. like legit.

Earth Pirapat - Jim (Moonlight Chicken)

I am not done with the young dilfs. I have no other words other than !! HIM !! like I would need to make a seperate Earth appreciation post to start talking about him. This post is getting too long anyway so I’m gonna not say much here but.. just know I would drop everything for him.

Papang - Gumpa (Not Me)

my need for Papang to suffocate me in his tiddies arms is like my human need to eat to keep myself sustained. He just looks like the best recharging station. That doesn’t make sense but it makes sense.

Even going through the gif list to choose a Papang gif gave my tummy flips

Bosston Suphadach - Pruk (Between Us)

THERE’S A NEWBIE ON MY LIST WOO!!! I feel like because he hasnt been here long and has only played sub-minor parts, people forgot about him .. BUT I. DID. NOT. <3 Did you see him in between us alongside Sammy?? Yes. I too would be purposefully tripping in front of him so that he can hold me in his big strong arms. Also him and the doctor in Be My Favourite?? SIIIIICKKK!!!! Let’s just say I’m excited to watch their spinoff next year ✨

I’ve got a few more but these men are mainly the ones that I need to have. In conclusion, Big Guy, Big Arms, Big Smiles. Love them, Love Him.

thank you lovely gif makers @zhivchik @mushiemadarame @rayandgay @wanderlust-in-my-soul @kiyosuku @warmday @sunsetandthemoon @bunnakit @daikunart and lovely moots @dramalets @drama-nonsense @mooniyuta @mooninagust @these-emo-thoughts @sparklyeyedhimbo @khaotungsfirst @blue-grama @absolutebl @troubled-mind who enable this obsession.

[bigmusclenm]

Bigger, Bro? - Part 2

[Part 1][●]

It’s been three months since the day Gabe moved in with his older brother and things have changed a lot. Kyle has no idea what’s happening but Gabe has been getting bigger really fast and has even grown taller. It doesn’t make any sense because even though anyone can gain some muscle, it’s not normal for an 18 years old boy to grow almost a whole foot in height in just three months.

“What’s wrong bro? You look… distant”. Gabe says while both of them walk to the gym like every day. Gabe is just an inch shorter than Kyle by now and the rest of his body is almost as big as Kyle’s. Every single inch of Gabe’s body has grown to be as perfect as Kyle’s big body. Both of them have weighed themselves the night before and Gabe is just 3 pounds lighter than Kyle and it really shows. “Nothing, I just… I’m just proud of you little bro. You’ve done an amazing job so far”. Klye says trying to be nice and pats Gabe’s strong shoulders. Gabe smiles big at his older brother but he knows that’s a huge lie, Kyle is just jealous of how much he has gained in such a short time and today, that inch and those 3 pounds that make Kyle the bigger brother will both be a thing of the past.

As soon as they get in the gym, Kyle goes with his buddies and Gabe sneaks into the locker room like every day. Since that first time when he met the biggest man he has ever seen, he comes back every day to get his daily “treatment”. Over the last three months he has been sucking on the huge man’s dick and swallowing the huge loads that the man is able to provide. He’s still unsure about what the man is since nobody else can see him but the only thing that matters to Gabe is that the man’s cum is making him grow.

So, Gabe gets in a private bathroom where he’s not supposed to have access to but he knows nobody will mind and as soon as he gets in, the man shows up and even after all these months, Gabe can’t believe how big and hot this man is. “Hello little boy. Perfect timing as always. How are you feeling today?” The man asks and Gabe smiles. “Great. I mean, look at me… I’m better than I ever thought was possible and you promised I’ll be outgrowing Kyle today so… this will definitely be the best day of my life”. Gabe says and gets closer to the huge man, whose dick is already hard and looks ready to feed Gabe with even more cum. But right when Gave is about to lock his lips around the huge head of the man’s dick, the man stops him. “Today will be different. If you wanna outgrow your brother… you gotta pay a higher price than just sucking me off”. Gabe looks confused and then the man pulls him closer and grabs Gabe’s ass cheeks with his big hands. Immediately Gabe understands what he means.

Gabe thinks about the offer for a while because he has never ever considered taking a dick up his ass, even less if the dick is as huge as this man’s dick is but… the idea of him finally becoming the bigger brother is simply too good to dismiss the offer. “But… I don't think it’ll fit. Look at you and… I haven’t… you know… ever”. Gabe says and the man smiles. “It’ll fit, believe me. But it’ll still hurt. That’s the price to pay for the size you want”. The man says and sits on a bench that’s in the corner of the bathroom with his dick pointing up, looking even more massive than before. Gabe hesitates for a minute and the man just looks at him waiting for an answer. “Okay… I better get really big”. Gabe says and takes his shorts off to reveal a pretty big dick and full balls, though a little bit smaller than Kyle’s. “You’ll be the biggest, I promise”. The man says and Gabe takes a deep breath.

A few minutes later, Kyle is wandering around the gym looking for Gabe and the young boy is nowhere to be seen. “Where the fuck did he go? Gonna hire a babysitter if he keeps getting lost like this”. Kyle says pretty angry and keeps looking for his younger brother until he gets tired of it and gets out of the gym to get a smoothie from the place across the street. Kyle is still trying to process the fact that his little brother is getting as big as he is and even though he’s kinda proud of him, he can’t deny the idea of Gabe getting bigger than him is just… horrible. “Maybe he has a hormonal disorder… I should take him to see a doctor before our parents find out he’s getting so big. Fuck… I can already hear mom making up a story to blame me for pumping his perfect little sun full with roids or something like that”. Kyle says when he’s getting out of the smoothies place and he hears loud cracking sounds coming from the gym. “The fuck is happening there?” Kyle says and wonders if Gabe is still in the gym.

Inside the gym, Gabe groans and runs out of the bathroom while his whole body is expanding. He has managed to fit the man’s dick in his hole and even though it hurt a lot, the man has fucked him and filled him with gallons of cum, expanding Gabe’s belly to the size of a small beachball. “Uggghhh what’s happening? I’m… getting too big”. Gabe says while he slowly walks toward the front door trying to adjust his clothes that are feeling tighter than ever. He looks around looking for Kyle but his older brother is not there. Gabe is starting to panic while his body is quickly outgrowing his clothes. He’s definitely bigger than Kyle by now but the growth isn’t stopping. “Dude… are you okay? Kyle was looking for you”. One of Kyle’s friends comes but then he notices Gabe’s body expanding and looks at him in horror. “Are you… growing?” the man says and soon a crowd forms around Gabe’s expanding body. “Where’s Kyle? I need this to stop”. Gabe says but nobody answers.

Gabe’s muscles keep expanding and he feels his back getting thicker and wider by the second. He’s definitely wider than regular door frames by now and that’s not even considering that his lats are getting so thick that his arms are rising thanks to them being so thick. He can’t put his arms down because of his lats and at the front he can barely curl his arms thanks to his biceps being too big. His pecs are expanding at an alarming rate and are almost rubbing against his chin by now. Tears are forming all over his t-shirt and the growth isn’t stopping. When Gabe tries to take a step toward the front door, he notices he can’t walk normally anymore. He has to waddle because his thighs have gotten so thick that they rub against each other permanently. Also, his shorts are barely holding on, his crotch feels extremely cramped inside them and his ass is just as tight. Everything is getting bigger and Gabe can’t stop it.

Gabe tries to run but it’s impossible while his thighs get thicker. The closer he gets to the door, the harder it’s for him to walk. He looks around and he notices that he’s now taller than anyone else, way taller than any other person he has known and still getting bigger. A few seconds later Gabe’s shirt finally gives up and it’s completely destroyed by his growing mass. Soon, the shorts and underwear have the same fate and Gabe is left completely naked in the middle of the gym while everyone is looking at him. He can’t estimate how big he is but everything is looking tiny next to him by now, even the front door. Gabe has to kneel to try to get out but then he notices his shoulders have gotten wider than the double doors too. It’s getting harder for him to move. His muscles are all fighting for space and when he tries to fit through the door, he hears the walls cracking and the double door’s metal frame bending. That’s when he sees his older brother getting closer. “Bro, help me… I… need this to stop”. Gabe shouts out and Kyle just stands in front of him in shock.

“What have you done?” Kyle asks while looking at his former-little brother. Gabe’s young face is still the same but the rest of him is simply out of this world. Gabe seems to be so tall that even though he’s kneeling really low, he’s as tall as the door. Gabe’s head is surrounded by muscles so his traps and pecs won’t let him move his neck that much. His shoulders are stuck in one of the widest doors Kyle has ever seen and it seems like if Gabe tries to move, the whole wall will fall down. Gabe’s pecs seem to have more meat on them than the biggest bodybuilders have in their whole bodies and his huge nipples are leaking… milk? How is that even possible? How any of this is even possible. Gabe’s arms are clearly bigger than Kyle’s whole body and the definition is simply insane. Kyle can see a wall of abs that look as hard as steel and the lower part of his little… or younger to be more accurate… brother is just unbelievable.

Gabe’s thighs are beyond three trunks sized but what’s between them is what calls Kyle’s attention. Gabe’s dick is several feet long and way thicker than Kyle’s torso. The massive cock is resting heavily on top of Gabe’s huge balls that are bigger than yoga balls. Apart from the size of Gabe’s dick, he’s uncontrollably leaking pre and forming a pool in front of him. Kyle looks at his brother up and down over and over again and he doesn’t know what to do. How will he explain this to his parents? How will Gabe live a normal life now? What if someone wants to experiment on him? Kyle has so many questions and Gabe’s face shows how terrified he is. “Bro, help me… please”. Gabe says and Kyle’s heart warms up but a crowd forms around Gabe, both inside and outside of the gym. People start taking pics, videos and even going LIVE right on the spot but Kyle and Gabe can’t focus on anything else but each other.

Then, everything around them starts getting colder. It feels like it’s about to snow or something. Gabe recognizes the feeling but Kyle is confused because it seems like nobody else notices. Kyle looks around and the crowd keeps looking at Gabe, unaware that there’s mist surrounding them. Then, the huge man that has gotten Gabe into this problem gets right by Kyle’s side and pats his shoulders. Kyle looks up at the big man and he can’t believe how big the man is and that he’s naked in front of the crowd but considering Gabe’s condition the man’s nakedness isn’t that shocking. “Look what you did to your brother”. The man says pointing at Gabe. “Who the fuck are you? I did nothing” Kyle says and Gabe looks surprised. “Wait… can you see him?” Gabe asks. “Who? This man? Of course I see him… I’m not blind”. Kyle says and the man laughs. “I think Gabe learned his lesson, coveting your brother’s size might be counterproductive but you… Kyle Thompson… you need to learn an even bigger lesson. You’re always bluffing about how big you are and your greed for size and attention will leave some big consequences”. The man laughs while Kyle and Gabe look at each other in horror.

The End

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

Reborn Again (and again and again)

(Sanzu's bday fic with tones of angst)

(Bonten HaruMai)

It's been a while since I posted my fics here bc no spoons kept my away of tumblr ( I'm gonna try to post all of them and they are always on ao3!)

But.... Sanzu Haruchiyo birthday seems like the perfect occasion for this!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LIL PINK GREMLIN, I LOVE YOU DEARLY AND YOU DESERVE THE WORLD! (but I'm gonna give you angst and a lap full of Mikey, oopsie?)

(link to ao3 in case someone wants to read it there)

Summary: Sanzu remembers his last birthday, bittersweet memories that keep his delusions afloat.

And of course, he'll never lose his faith in his king.

(even when Mikey's eyes are completely devoid of all emotion)

Warnings: Manga Spoilers (Bonten timeline, so yeah), Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Implied Suicide, Mental Health Issues (issues is an understatement xD), Toxic Codependent Relationship, Heavily Depressed Mikey, Burn Out Sanzu, Unrequited Delusional Love, and idk, is Bonten they are so totally not fine and it shows, okay?

Yeah, this fic is an emotional roller coaster, it felt like it writing it and is not less of it as a reader (or I've been told that). Oh, Sanzu is sad and horny bc you can't tell me Bonten Mikey has energy to fuck (or live)

There is a part of the fic inspired on this art, bc Mikey sleeping on Haru's lap is for some reason precious to me 💜

Sanzu was bored, his feet kept tapping the ground, his mind drifting far away from here. He should be paying attention to his surroundings, guarding the building where his king was. 

Instead, he was lost in the memories of his last birthday, almost one year ago. Wondering if it would be different this time, if Mikey remembered his promise. He shook his head, immediately feeling guilty for daring to doubt it. Of course he did, Sanzu was only feeling insecure, nothing new. 

(He had to repeat it as many times as necessary, to convince himself that Mikey’s eyes had not been completely devoid of all emotion for more than a month)

To be fair, the fact that Hangaki didn’t represent any type of threat to his king, wasn’t helping him focus on the present or to keep his thoughts from wandering back to the previous year.

Sanzu was having a shitty day. That wasn’t exactly unusual lately, he had become more and more tired during the last years few months. Exhausted would be the right word, but he couldn’t afford to rest, to even entertain the possibility that he should delegate some of his responsibilities to others if he didn’t want to end up completely burned out. But of course, he couldn't trust anyone else to perform his duties, so Sanzu was forced to continue stretching himself thin.

(If he was more honest with himself, he could admit that he had been falling apart for way too long. But he wasn’t, he couldn’t)

Whatever. He was used to it. He’s handled this weariness before — today wasn’t unique. He was a grown ass man, who definitely wouldn’t throw a tantrum just because everyone forgot it was his birthday. And twenty-seven wasn’t a memorable number either, so who cared? 

This was just Sanzu being salty, tonight's job took up more time than he anticipated, so he had to see Takeomi’s ugly face for way too long. Yeah, it was totally unrelated to the pang of jealousy he felt when he overheard the older man explaining to Kakucho how this week was special, since the anniversary of Senju’s death was close. He wasn’t that pathetic, to hold a grudge because, even now, his sister kept hogging all the attention.

(What sister? Sanzu was an only child, his own mind was playing tricks to him again)

He sighed, using his own set of keys to open the door of Mikey’s penthouse and trying to be as silent as possible. He was fully aware his king wouldn’t be sleeping — it was getting harder each day to convince him to even try it.

It was better to be quiet anyway, at least, until he had a clue of which mood he was going to find. Would it be one of those days of empty glares and cold words, where he was only ‘Sanzu’? Or…

“Haruchiyo?”

A weak whisper, but more than enough for him to quickly locate the source. Mikey was sitting on the sofa, completely in the dark except for the dim light that came through the window, proving the outside world was still there, uncaring and merciless. 

“Hey… I’m back.”

His heart sank when he got closer, finally noticing Mikey’s puffy eyes and his tear-streaked cheeks. He wanted nothing more than to comfort him, caress his beautiful face and erase any trace of pain in it. But he knew better. Years of walking on broken glass around his lover taught him better.

(Was ‘lover’ the right word? When he had to repress his own feelings, pretending there was no love in order to stay by Mikey’s side? Probably not)

“What’s wrong?” 

He asked cautiously, sitting on the nearest armchair. Mikey blinked a couple of times, looking at him in awe, almost like he was processing that Sanzu was really here.

“I thought you wouldn’t come tonight.” 

There was no point in reminding him that he could just text or call —that no matter what he was doing, Sanzu would leave it in a heartbeat to run to his king's side. Mikey was fully aware of it, but he refused to show this type of weakness.

“I’ll always come back to you, Mikey.”

He gave him a soft smile, hoping it was somehow reassuring. It seemed to work, considering the next moment he had a lap full of Mikey, wrapping his arms around Haruchiyo’s neck and hiding his face in it. He didn’t have to think twice before hugging him back and gently pulling the thin body closer.

“I’m sorry, the deal took longer than I thought.” 

A noncommittal hum was the only answer he received,  another sign that Mikey cared less every day about his own organization. It was fine, Sanzu could keep the gears turning and perfectly greased, waiting until his king was ready to step back in the game and take what was rightfully his. 

“But I’m here now, I’m right here…” 

His voice dripped with affection, his touch conveying the same feeling as he started to play with the white locks. The soft caresses spoke louder than the words he’ll never say. It was fine — he was good at hiding parts of himself, burying it with all his secrets.

(So many secrets, weighing him more every day, slowly drowning him until he couldn’t recognize his own reflection)

“You are.” Mikey finally lifted his head, looking at him like he was trying to figure out something. “Even if this morning…”

“No idea what you’re talking about.” 

It was a lie, they both knew it. Of course he remembered how detached his king had been, how disgusted he looked by his weak attempt at cuddling. The cold voice, clearly commanding him to disappear from his sight. ‘Don’t you have work to do, Sanzu?’

It was a lie, one of the many he carefully crafted for Mikey’s sake. There was no need to dwell on it when Sanzu wanted to comfort him, not burden him with guilt. Especially when the cause was his own inability to hide his stupid hopes and desires. 

“Apparently about nothing.”

“Yep, nothing at all.” He repeated, softly brushing a strand of hair out of Mikey’s eyes and kissing his forehead, earning a simper in return.

Wait, what? A smile? A coy one, small and probably easy to miss for anyone else. But not for him, Sanzu was able to spot the most subtle change in his king’s expression, and this wasn’t subtle. A genuine smile on Mikey’s face? And thanks to him? 

Sanzu’s inner turmoil disappeared. The fatigue that he constantly carried with him was gone too. Just like that, a simple gesture from his king, made everything better, all the problems more than worth it as long as it meant protecting these rare moments of happiness.

(A necessary reminder of why he kept fighting, always so restless, refusing to let go, reinventing himself over and over)

He leaned in to cross the small distance between their lips, kissing him slowly, wanting to savor the moment. There was no rush for once, and even if he longed for more, even if his body reacted to the closeness and the familiar taste, he knew too damn well Mikey’s libido had been practically nonexistent lately. 

No matter how much he yearned to go further, he’d take whatever his king offered to him without presumptions. For now, Sanzu was content with the way Mikey’s lips parted, allowing his tongue to explore freely. He couldn’t stop himself from moaning inside the kiss, realizing he sounded too desperate. 

Damn it, when was the last time they actually had sex? He couldn’t recall when it was, but he could clearly see the memories – the way Mikey whimpered in his ear, his body pressed against the shower wall… 

Fuck, he had to calm down before his own neediness tarnished this moment doing something stupid — Like pressing Mikey’s warm body down onto his growing erection, bucking his hips slightly, rubbing himself just enough to feel the friction against that tight ass he adored so much… Stop it, brain!

“Sorry…”

Sanzu pulled away from the kiss with a flustered face, looking at Mikey with glossy eyes and pressing their foreheads together, still catching his breath. 

“Why are you apologizing, Haruchiyo?” There was a sad undertone in his voice that didn't go unnoticed. “It’s me, I can’t even give you that, you should…” 

“Don’t go there.” He gently placed a finger in front of the other’s lips. “I don’t need it, okay? I can live perfectly fine without fucking.”

“But you want it.” Mikey deadpanned. 

“Of course I do, because you’re gorgeous and I can’t help feeling attracted to you.” He gave him a soft peck. “And that’s on me, you don’t owe me anything, alright? Having you in my arms like this is already the best birthday gift I could ever wish for.”

“What?!” 

“Nothing.” It was too late — he knew as soon as he saw Mikey’s eyes widening in a mix of surprise and clarity.

“Fuck, it’s July… That’s not nothing!” He groaned in frustration. “Did you get to celebrate it at least?” 

Judging by the way Mikey looked at him, the answer to this was probably written in his face. That was the exact reason why he didn’t tell him, to absolve him of the guilt, to prevent him from falling deeper into self-loathing. 

“It’s okay, we can still celebrate it together if you want-”

“It's not even your birthday anymore.” 

His rage was icy cold, Sanzu was sure the temperature of the whole room dropped a few degrees. Suddenly he was freezing, despite the anger not being directed at him for once. 

“Then we don’t? It’s not a big deal, really, there will be other occasions. It happens every year, right?” His gaze stared at him with disbelief. “What? I’m serious, I don’t need some fancy ass shit, this is already perfect.”

“Haruchiyo…” Whatever his king wanted to say, the way Sanzu hugged him tighter seemed to change his mind. Instead, he sighed, burying his face on the crook of his neck. “Fine. Next year?”

“Next year it is.” 

He started to stroke his hair once again, wanting to leave this conversation behind. It was true, his day got infinitely better the moment Mikey sat on his lap and hugged him. Sanzu couldn’t ask for more, because there was nothing but him.

“I won’t forget it, I promise.” 

Sanzu gasped at the honesty in those words, a lump in his throat that threatened to make him cry, touched by his king making a promise to him. It wasn’t going to happen, he couldn’t put his own burden on Mikey, it was his to bear alone. 

(Alone and isolated inside of his own mind)

“I know you won’t Mikey, I believe in you.” 

He whispered with raw devotion. He will never lose his faith in Mikey, because as long as his king kept breathing… Everything was possible. 

Sanzu smiled softly, melting slightly with the memory of how Mikey ended falling asleep on his lap, of how he made sure to stay still, to not interrupt the other’s dreams. If he closed his eyes, he could see how perfect Mikey looked when he woke up hours later, well rested for once. The way his face lit up when he saw that Sanzu was still there, hugging him for hours and making sure he was comfortable. He could even feel the lingering sensation of his lips on his own… Damn it, how could he miss Mikey so much when they were almost living together?

(It was due to Mikey fading in front of him, disappearing somewhere out of his reach. No, he couldn’t admit that)

He sighed, frustrated with himself. He was doing it again, yearning instead of being grateful for what he was given. 

A sudden change in the white noise from nearby pedestrians forced him to snap out of his inner turmoil. He lifted up his head, scanning the surroundings to find the source of the commotion. 

Sanzu’s eyes widened with panic, the world went silent. Except for the echo of his own delusions shattering into thousand pieces, ringing in his ears for a split second that lasted for ages.

“Mikey?!!”