#this got. a bit long oops

[elizabethshaw]

thoughts on "echoes"!! under the cut bc of spoilers:

this boxset absolutely came out at one of the worst possible times for me (my busiest day of the week, at a time when i have 6 different exams, a presentation and also assessments for my home uni to prepare for), and i fear it may have regnited my 8das fixation somewhat which is. not something i have time for rn lmao. we'll see how it goes i guess! anyway personal stuff over now-

i definitely enjoyed it overall! i'm still not entirely sure where i'd rank it in comparison with the other post-stranded boxsets but it was a lot of fun, and it was (as expected) a joy to hear this tardis team together again :)

i will say however that i did have one major qualm with it, which is that i felt a bit let down with how little it followed through with the emotional plotlines set up in the preceding two sets. i got the feeling when listening to "what lies inside?" and "connections" that they were very much going somewhere with this team's (particularly helen's) emotional arc, and while i won't deny there were some nice scenes with them in this set, the fact that these threads were otherwise left to one side most of the time was a disappointment. there was potential to do some really interesting character work in continuation from the events of those previous episodes and it just. didn't happen. i don't want to sound too down about it because i did still really enjoy these stories, but i think this side of things was missing a little bit for me. hm.

anyway, episode-by-episode thoughts:

birdsong

i think this was my favourite of the set. i really love audio drama that leans into more horror-adjacent aspects (even though i'm not a massive horror fan otherwise tbh), and also love it when audio drama just gets kinda fucked up with it. this story hit on both counts for me :)

love that this continued the running trend from the previous boxsets of the episode starting with eight, liv and helen just getting to be silly for a bit before the Horrors inevitably happen :D

lowkey actually love the concept of barcodes as a written language! part of me wants to try and work out how that could work now

scots pine trees... it never rains... bracken... sand... they're literally in breckland lmao

saying that it does also have the Suffocating Quietness going on so i think i'm onto something here...

when the vortex previews for this set mentioned a family member of helen's first mentioned in doom coalition being relevant to this story, i wasn't expecting it to be the grandmother she mentioned in "ship in a bottle". however it was actually really nice to have helen's relationship with her developed further, and it was woven into the story well i thought

being Normal about the scene between liv and helen at the fireside. i am being so normal about it

"i'm not sure i could do this with anyone else, you know? everything from exploring strange new worlds... to talking about my family." i'm fine. i'm fine!!!

[putting on my clown shoes] this is how liv/helen can still be canon in some form before helen inevitably dies! :))

i love how vivid this story felt to me. i always end up getting visuals in my head as i listen with any audio drama but some stories end up, for storytelling or sound design reasons, or both, creating really clear and vivid pictures in my mind and this was definitely one of those

i hope to god that when i visit home over the summer and listen to these with my mum (who loves these audios but refuses to listen to them without me, which is kind of sweet of her), my dad is not in the same room. i love him but he absolutely would be asking me to pause it every few minutes so he could identify the bird calls and then also getting really frustrated when i inevitably end up being unable to guess any of them correctly myself lol. the pains of being related to an ornithologist

big fan of the way things got increasingly more disturbing towards the end. i do think the eight-liv-helen era has been lacking in terms of properly creepy stories (this is just my personal taste tbf), so it was cool having them properly lean into that for once. i have to say though the mental image of the scout's body with all the roots forcing their way into her eyes is not going to be leaving me for a long time

also thought the sound design was really well done on this one!! you could really feel the discomfort of the silence i think

got slightly choked up at helen and liv singing to bex as she died. i might have just been in a weird mood while i was listening to it but. yeah. it did something to me

anyway had a lot of fun with this episode! it had a lot of elements that appealed to me personally, and the character work it did was nice. i look forward to listening to it again one day :)

lost hearts

m.r. james episode!! i've only ever read two of his stories (both of which are products of me knowing this episode was coming haha), but was quite excited for this one regardless because a) ghost stories! and b) he's actually got connections to a village in the area i grew up in, and as i've never actually seen/heard any stories set where i come from in my life, it was neat to have a story in my favourite show, featuring some of my favourite characters, star someone more or less from where i'm from :')

have to say though i am disappointed to have lost the unofficial "will they namedrop great livermere" bet i had going on with my mum and brother. it's such a middle-of-nowhere village (it's not on the way to anywhere, has 3 streets (one of which is named "the street" and another of which is actually a dirt track), and you invariably see more chickens there than actual people), it would have been deeply amusing to me for it to have canonically existed in the dwu

loved all the direct (and indirect) callbacks to "the red lady" in this story! it felt fitting seeing as on some levels they do share certain elements in terms of plot/setting, and was also just fun for me as that is one of my favourite stories :)

was also a big fan of how active the story felt (not sure if that's quite the right word?) - each of the characters had a clear role to play and all the main cast got something to do, it never felt hugely like any of them were being sidelined, which does happen on occasion with 3+ person tardis teams

if helen had punched someone at some point in this story i honestly wouldn't have blamed her

"he's like the museum of cairo, stuffed inside a... well, a-" "a rude, ungracious little twerp?" oh my god askdfjdsfjkds

(let her swear!!!)

i like how the story was riffing off some of the plot/vibes of m.r. james' actual short story "lost hearts" (helpfully one of the two i've read)! it gave it that nice kind of connection, without feeling overly derivative and like it was straight-out copying it

my only main issue with this episode was that robert felt kinda underdeveloped. they started off well in his opening scene with liv, but i don't think we got enough of a chance to get to know him as a person after that point and i think the story suffered for it a little. i don't think it helped either that he's not a family member helen had ever mentioned prior to this episode, so they were essentially having to start from scratch and with everything else going on in the narrative, didn't quite find the time to give him sufficient detail

loved the emotional moments that were brought out when helen got erased... "helen, she's my- she's everything i have left" ough

and the salzburg parallels?? liv attempting to fly the tardis in a desperate attempt to rescue her friends, much like helen did? this is so... it's a lot

i won't lie, it did feel a bit odd to me that they would go to such lengths to avoid actually naming the uni in this episode as cambridge. i suppose it may have been to avoid spoiling the "it's m.r. james!!!" reveal at the end, but given that i think anyone who would have guessed it was him from the setting being cambridge probably would have guessed it anyway beforehand either from the episode blurb or the fact that the episode literally starts with him reciting one of his most famous short stories, it feels a little pointless. i mean i clocked it as an m.r. james episode when the set was announced and i had never read any of his work at that point lmao. not a glaring issue or anything, but felt like a weird choice

anyway loved helen getting to geek out a bit at the end... i love her :')

i think i'm going to have to relisten to this at some point so i can fully get my head around it but i did enjoy it!

slow beasts

this was a solid ep. not my favourite story this tardis team has ever had, but i did absolutely enjoy listening to it, and thought there were a lot of really good ideas in it!

the colonialism plotline especially worked really well for me, it felt pertinent in just the right sort of way. it's not necessarily something new for dr who, but i think it was definitely a good example of how to do it well.

i think "simple, but effective" is the way i'd sum this one up tbh. not exceptional, but it knew what it was setting out to do, did it, and did it well, and i think that worked. it did admittedly feel a bit strange after two more complex/experimental sort of stories, but i don't think that's any reflection on its actual quality

"here is the psychic paper. be confident. it only works if you're confident." "but... i- i'm not confident?" me if i got asked to use the psychic paper tbh

enjoyed the use of the translation circuit in this one :) i have a lot of thoughts on it as a general thing so i always like seeing the ways it gets utilized in different stories

so! had fun with these! a couple of things that maybe could have gone better, but overall a set of three stories i had good fun with and i suspect will enjoy listening to again. fingers crossed the december boxset is with these guys again and they do a bit more with helen's emotional plotlines next time :)

[hinamie]

i don't normally participate in these redraw challenges but it's megumi so i'll make an exception

[vincentvalenfine]

ok but hear me out—you trying to accept vincent and his past with lucrecia but he keeps on pushing you away, until you've finally had enough and decided to give him that space he oh so "wanted" and him realising he is losing the only person who has cared for him after all this time and trying to win you back. i NEED this man to grovel!!

Sometimes love is letting go, Cid tells you over shots of whiskey at Tifa's bar. Some people are best loved from a distance, to give them the independence they require, and you think Vincent may just be one of those people. Too many times he's pulled away right when you think you're making progress with him, too many times you've heard him self-deprecate in one breath and place you on a pedestal in the next, supposedly out of his reach even when you're right there reaching for him.

"Just take a week to yourself," Tifa advises. "Guys like that just need a little time to realize what they actually need."

She's been waiting on Cloud for longer, you realize. Maybe... love really is letting go, leaving it in their hands to decide on someday. You take your phone out and send off a quick text to Vincent. Whether he'll respond, or even read it to begin with... you don’t know. It won't matter anyway, turning your phone off as soon as the text is delivered and turning to Cid to harass him into playing taxi for a trip to Costa del Sol for the week.

[Let me know when you make up your mind someday.]

Four days later, you're just getting into your pajamas in your inn room for the evening when an alarmingly loud knock rattles the door. You can't help jumping, hurrying with your shorts as you call out, "Just a second!"

Another knock thuds against the wood and you swear you hear it creak a little this time. That's worrisome enough to make you hurry on over with shorts just barely making it to your hips in time, and with just a glance through the peephole you know exactly who's on the other side, throwing it open for him.

Vincent looks like he hasn't slept since you sent off that text, eyes sunken in and lined with shadowy bruises. He takes just a few tentative steps in when you make space for him - and then drops to his knees, head hanging. You can't help crouching in front of him, hesitating to reach out, but this time he doesn't shy away from your hands as they meet his cheeks, leaning into your touch instead like it's the respite he so desperately needs right now. Your heart leaps into your throat.

"Vincent?"

"Forgive me," he murmurs. His eyes seek out yours with sorrow creeping out of the corners, damp trails glistening down his cheeks. "I did you a disservice, and you... deserved to be treated fairly."

Not better, as he's said before - fairly. That's... actually an improvement. You open your mouth to reply, but he continues to speak.

"I... tried to make the same mistake twice. And I thought it would protect you, from who - what I am." He takes a ragged breath, somehow keeping his voice from wavering initially even as the tears continue trickling. You take your thumbs to gently wipe them aside and the look he gives you is one of desperate desire. This time his voice does waver as he pleads.

"Please. I cannot - I am... far from perfect. But I wish to try again. If you allow it."

You lean in and kiss him. Vincent melts into your arms, heedless of where and when, desperate for the affection you give him. It's going to be messy, nothing's ever been simple with him... but just maybe he can let you close now.

[biblically-accurate-dca]

super disorganized sketch page because i do what i want

[camarilla-arts]

….. Pokémon au…..

Detailed teams and thoughts below the read more.

These teams would be around the start of the black whale arc, i lightly mapped out which arcs they’d catch and evolve in! No deaths in this au, lesser stakes, this is pokemon. This is only the main 4 for now.

Gon’s team: lots of heavy hitting at the sake of taking damage, lots of environmentally useful moves.

Kon- Ursaluna: Main Partner. met as teddiursa with Kite as a child. With him for all of series.

Bon- wailord: caught in whale island, evolves into wailord during hunter exam. I love the concept of a small child with only massive Pokémon tbh.

Mon- Togekiss: Mito(Poke-breeder) gave him this egg to hatch and everyone finds it funny his hair matches. Probably trains and evolves with Bisky(Former Champ/Gymleader) in GI training times. Once she evolved to Togekiss they LOVE flying together.

Ja-Jan- Scizor: he caught scyther traveling with Kite and evolves it training with Knuckle, it’s cause of Knuckle that his naming pattern is different. Ja Ja Ken themed pokemon! Bisky teaches them how Mega-evolution works!

Don- Kommo-o: Instead of a video game, Ging left Gon two dragon eggs, one he kept and hatched into the battle loving Don and the other he gifted to Killua. Also evolves during GI training. They have immensely similar personalities.

Solgaleo doesnt belong to him, they're friends. Killua and Gon both help a Cosmoem/Cosmog and when fighting along side Gon it takes on this form! only see this during the parallel to the Chimera Ant arc.

I also consdered: Koraidon, Hitmonchan, Heracross, Kanto-Nintales, Pidgeotto, Eevee, dondozo, Wishiwashi, Annihilape, Dragonite, etc.

Killua's team: the Zoldyck family is notorious for their Dark and poison type trainers and protecting Kukuru Mt. a similar vibe to Aether research group.

Cocoa-Weaville: Main partner. perfect IVs, Good EVs, a classic Zoldyck match. they get better together. Her nickname is a secret between the both of them till after Gon and friends rescue him from his house.

Mallow-Crobat: Also already on his team for the Hunter Exam as a Golbat. also Family Approved. He's frustrated by its inability to evolve until he does while visiting Whale Island with Gon.

Pop Rocks- Luxray: Caught during Heavens Arena timeline and evolved fully with Bisky training. his first time choosing a pokemon for himself and having fun.

Taffy- Silvally: Given to him by his Dad as a Type:Null, but rarely used because Killua knows it hates battling and doesnt want it to hate him. the Mask removal likes up nicely with the Needle removal moment. they learn to Battle for themselves and enjoy it over time.

Bonbon- Salamence: Killua's first time hatching a pokemon egg gifted to him by Gon. shes a little defiant and stubborn, Killua blames Gon's influence. Also evolved under Bisky training. If asked why her nickname matches Gons pokemon he will tell you to stop imagining things.

Lunala is also not technically his, he also helps out the same Cosmog/Cosmoem and is blown away when it takes on this form for him while he's rescuing Alluka/Nanika and their Jirachi.

Also considered: Miraidon, Killowatrel, Hitmontop, Floragato, Morpeko, Jolteon, toxtricity, snealser, Alolan-Ninetails, etc.

Leorio's team: this man is deceptivly good at battling but no one would guess it looking at his team. He has the slowest progress in training compared to his friends but tbf he's also attending medical school. lowest effort nicknames.

Gimmi-Gimmighoul: Main Partner. here from the start but stays as a Roving form until we see Leorio again at the election arc and its in its treasure chest form! they are besties.

Pooch- Mightyena: has as a Poochyena for the Hunter exam and his main battler. Cheedle first notices Leorio because she pays extra attention to Dog pokemon and approves of how they battle together. both of these guys give bad first impressions.

Audi- Audino: also a pokemon he starts the hunter exam with but he's a little self conscious of her. Not that either of them ever hesitate to go doctor mode even if they don't match each others vibes. She knows Leorio deep down has a good heart and she refuses to tolerate his nonsense so she can be dis-agreeable until he says what he really means. Learns Mega-evolution off camera just like his nen.

Boar- Tepig: gift egg from Ging as a congrats for getting the Zodiac position after him. Leorio is trying extremely hard to live up to expectations and Boar is probably the most spoiled Pokemon by all of Leorio's team.

Lunch- Applin: in a reference to the Gon giving Leorio and apple scene in 99 anime i really wanted to put an applin on his team. probably given to him by Gon, maybe from whale island. Leorio has no idea how to train this guy, hes working on it. I'm not 100% on this one.

Xerneas- its not unusual for hunters to form bonds with legendaries if they impress them. and i think Xerneas would like Leorio's gumption and kindness. :) plus parallel for Kurapika. probably starts bonding with him around the end of the Election arc.

Kurapika's team: I wish we knew more about the Kurta language cause i think he'd name them after that. It was less a massacre and more a mass destructive event as the PT looted their remote village looking for rare and valuable pokeon, probably following the rumors of a psudo-legendary doomsaying pokemon.

Nemesis-Absol: Main Partner. They both feel responsibly for the attack and seek both vengeance and the return of any pokemon taken. She is just as driven and determined as he is. they learn to mega-evolve while training with Mizuken pre York New.

Prometheus-Blaziken: caught as a torchick post PT attack. insp by the ride-able birds in the Memory comics! the second most dedicated and determined on the team along side Nemesis. loves training. pressent for Hunters exam.

Aion-Metagross: caught and trained with a matching beldum alongside Pairo. Sheila helped them catch them! too bad Pairo's beldum went missing in the PT attack. present for Hunters exam.

Odysea-Palafin: a pokemon Kurapika always adored and was super excited to catch. Dolphin fan boy. Heroic type the vibes are perfect.

Achlys- Rattata: F.E.A.R. tactics. A gift from Pariston after inheriting his Zodiac position. neither of them are above using this tactic if need be lol. His feelings about her are cautious suspicion but they are growing closer over time.

Yveltal is the Legendary that Kurapika willingly made a deal with to give himself the certainty of defeating the PT. they are what they are and its not the healthiest bond but Kurapika would never blame it for its nature and his own choices.

Also Considered: Dodrio, Gyarados(Shiny), Hydredgeon, Talonflame, Giratina, Corviknight, Armorouge, Husian-Zorark, Klefki, All of the Ruinous legendaries, ect.

[good-beansdraws]

I've always wanted to do hiatus-attack fanart but never got to it until now...

[orykorioart]

Cleaned up this sketch from a couple months ago bc I still really like it :-) They’re probably watching the sunset on top of Hammerlocke tower and admiring each other.

+ Little teaser/WIP for a request: it’s hurt/comfort time :-)

Pls know that even if I take a whhiiiiillllleee to get to requests, if you sent in one about Trans Rai I am kicking my silly lil feet about it, and will try to do it even if it takes some time 🥹

[maingh0st]

@belabellissima's tags on this post deserve a post of their own, i—

[another-lost-mc]

I hate how Mephistopheles has no lore. I'm making an OC that out ranks him and the fucker has no established rank??? Sir your whole goddamn thing is "I'm a noble, goddamn it" and like no rank? No bitches? No nobility??

So I'm picking one (Grand Dutches, technically?) and going with the punches, but how do you fix Solomare's near non-existent lore so well?? This shit is hard! Mad props!

I'm grateful that we got more Mephisto lore in Nightbringer, but like many characters, new info or interactions are few and far between except when it's needed as a plot device. lol

Even though Mephisto isn't a member of the Ars Goetia, he's a Faustian demon or what I call a "named" demon which has important relevance in my personal world building. Other than that, we know that his family has deep roots to the Devildom nobility, are highly influential, and that he was basically raised to be Diavolo's friend. We know his special power now thanks to Nightbringer, but my version of it is a bit sinister because, you know, demons.

Unless you're new around here, my solution to gaps in the game's lore or storytelling is solved by personal headcanons/world building and creating OCs. I knew I wanted to write more about Mephisto, and that meant exploring his relationships and history outside of what the game told us.

Before NB existed, I was already developing his little brother OC because using characters/info only found in the games limits the potential for complexity and drama. Plus, writing an OC for Mephisto's brother helped me develop my own interpretation of Mephisto's character too.

When the game only leaves us crumbs to work with, here's what my brainstorming looks like to try and explore possible ways to fill in the gaps:

Creating an OC for Mephisto's younger brother: Mephisto is a named demon and part of the demon nobility. My thought: his brother is probably a named demon of some importance too.

Naming Mephisto's little brother: After doing some reading, I learned Mephisto wasn't part of the Ars Goetia, but that didn't mean his brother couldn't be. Result: I just picked a name off the list that I liked. LOL

Note: I have friends that have OCs based off other Ars Goetia demons so I purposefully avoided choosing those names because I write about my version the Devildom assuming those OCs exist within it.

Developing Bathin as an OC: Okay, we have a name. Cool, that's usually the hard part. Now we have to build him up from nearly nothing! What I knew about his character before NB released: he was significantly younger than Mephisto (I imagined the same or slightly younger than Luke with a similar childlike appearance) and that Mephisto was a very attentive and doting older sibling. Based on the RAD Sports event in OG, I concluded if he was that protective of Luke, he would be even more protective of his younger brother as well. I also interpreted the events and assigned Mephisto his demonic trait (having a tail of some kind instead of wings). In my mind, demonic traits are something that might be part of the family's heritage, so I decided that Bathin would look similar to Mephisto in his human form and also his demon form.

Identifying gaps/issues with Bathin's character: The main concern I had to address for Bathin was his existence as a demon of the Ars Goetia. Solomon has pacts with all of them, and this implies that he would also have a pact with Bathin - a literal demon child. Oops!

Questions I needed to answer:

Why would Solomon want a pact with a child and how did this happen?

Are there any limitations/restrictions if a pact is made with a demon child that isn't mature/"of age"?

Should I change his name to something else to avoid this issue? Nah.

Solving Bathin's existence as a child in the Ars Goetia: I basically wrote a world building theory about demon death/exorcism and respawn cycles to explain which demons can respawn and which ones cannot. Naming conventions and the impact on existing pacts are part of this theory.

Conclusion using fill-in-the-gaps world building:

A form of the death & rebirth cycle exists for demons.

Using theory, Bathin can exist as a member of the Ars Goetia because he was killed/exorcised as a mature demon. His essence/power exists within the version of him that was reborn later.

Implications and things to continue developing:

Bathin made his pact with Solomon as a mature demon and the pact persisted through death, although as a child the pact is weak and practically unusable.

Demons who respawn usually have no memories of their previous existence, but Mephisto would remember him from before. That can explain why he might be close and very protective of his younger brother. Solomon would also have memories of past!Bathin as well and that could have some interesting effects on how Solomon interacts with Mephisto as well.

Demons that are exorcised and respawned might carry some lingering physical evidence of their death - for example, the power of an angel's grace maiming some part of their body. This helped me visualize Bathin's physical appearance and explain any potential scars or flaws he was born with.

Child!Bathin won't be a copy of his former self, so there is potential for drama/angst as those that knew him best before re-learn the "new" him.

The possibility to explore Mephisto as a child and how his friendship with Diavolo was fostered/pressured by those around him (and Bathin's feelings/attitudes about Mephisto's potential (mis)treatment).

Explaining past!Bathin's untimely demise in the first place and the characters/circumstances involved.

If you ever wondered how I take a random throwaway reference in the game and expand on it to create an OC, here's what the process looked like when I was developing Mephisto's brother. He's very precious and though I doubt we'll see much more of him in the game other than some vague references, I enjoy writing about Mephisto enough that dedicating an OC to his little brother was worthwhile.

I'll end this with a treat for those of you that decided to read through all this rambling:

[cuz-reasons]

Summary: Elesa is invited over to Ingo and Emmet's parents' house for the weekend. Honestly, it's about time she met them. Doesn't make her any less nervous about it.

This makes 80 published works! How did this happen?

[the-red-thread-that-strangles]

Rei is late for the first time since he's started working at Poirot.

Neither terrorism attacks nor hostage crises have affected his being on time. Not even a runaway horse managed to keep him.

But he spends one night with Akai Shuichi, and his perfect record is ruined. Asshole.

Despite his calling ahead, Azusa gives him a worried look. He stops briefly to give her a mock-embarrassed apology, turning up the charm. Promises he won't be late again. Then he's off to the storage room.

He needs to fetch his ingredients and get to baking.

Rei's going to find Akai and strangle him, just as soon as his shift is over.

.

Roughly 12 hours earlier.

There's a gun aimed right between his eyes.

That in itself is nothing unusual. The situation could be worse, really.

After all, his own gun is pointed right back at Akai Shuuichi's annoyingly smug face. At this distance, he'll be able to read his movement, react in time. He'd rather talk, but if the sniper fires, Rei will drag him into hell too.

Blood for blood. Mutually assured destruction.

(His excitement is slightly dampened by the fact he's rather certain Akai won't kill him.)

"Caught you." Rei can't help the satisfaction slipping into his voice.

Finally. After three years, their game of cat and mouse is over. He'll have his answers.

The most pressing of which-

"Where's Scotch?"

The words cut into the silence, sharpened by fear. His best friend might still be dead, after all. (If he isn't, why hasn't he contacted Rei?)

It's not like he has much to go on to suspect he's alive, besides the fact that Akai himself came back from the dead. Rei can only hope he brought Hiro along.

Before Akai answers, there's a click. The world becomes dizzyingly bright, expanding past the muzzles of their guns.

Rei blinks the disorientation away. Spots silhouettes from the corner of his eyes. He hasn't met them before, but he's familiar, of course, with the owners of this house. How long have the Kudos been watching them?

While he's busy processing that revelation, Akai holsters his gun. Part of Rei hates how nonchalant Akai is about all of this, exposing himself so easily. Like Rei isn't a threat, won't put a bullet in his head because of a couple of witnesses. (Hates that he's probably right.)

"I propose a trade. For old time's sake."

(The words leave a bitter taste with Rei. They haven't exchanged anything, not goods, not words, not warmth, in years.)

Akai snaps open a cheap flip phone - likely a burner. His thumb hovers over the call button. The fingers of his other hand, long and dextrous, wrap around the barrel of Rei's P7M8, tugging gently, but insistently.

Rei considers his options. He holds no illusions - without his gun, he won't be able to dispatch Akai. But he's more than capable of holding his own for long enough to escape, if need be.

(He could just fire, right now. It wouldn't have to be lethal. Could take the phone by force. But chances are, whatever information Akai has, he'll be much less willing to share it with a bullet wound.)

Rei looks up at Akai, meets his green, green eyes. The part of him that shows genuine emotions, some days. (Not that Rei is one to talk.)

Finds Akai looking...tired. He wears a small smile, but it's worn around the edges. There's no open mockery, no quiet amusement. It's just the two of them, and an offer.

Rei lets go of the gun. He hopes he won't be needing it, tonight.

.

Akai helps him up, his hand warm and steady. As soon as he's upright, Rei lets go - he can walk perfectly fine by himself, thank you very much.

The FBI agent shows him to the living room, tells Rei to make himself a home. After all, the Kudos have promised to give him some privacy, for his chat.

For a moment, the sniper lingers, gaze caught by the phone. Then Akai casts his eyes down, and leaves Rei alone.

Silence, if not for the crackle of the damned fireplace, fills the room. Rei hesitates for a moment. Then he presses 'call' for the only number in the directory.

The phone crackles with static, beeps as it establishes connection, then-

"Hi, Zero."

The world stops moving. Relief floods his system, sapping the tension from his muscles. He leans against the soft backrest, breathing freely for the first time in a good long while.

.

Their talk is short. Rei asks some questions to establish it's truly Hiro, not an imposter (though that would make a very poor basis for the negotiation the Kudos have planned).

Hiro tersely explains some things, although he isn't allowed to give away much. He's in the FBI's witness protection program. That they're talking at all is a massive bending of the rules, authorized only because of Akai's insistence. He claimed it was of critical importance to their mission.

It certainly is, to Rei.

.

The next hours are a blur.

The sofa dips when Akai sits down at his side, the Kudos already having taken their seats on the other side of the small coffee table. (He wishes Akai would sit farther away. That he be less reasonable in his assumptions and demeanour.)

It's somewhat surreal to think that celebrity actress Kudo Yukiko of all people gives him a steaming cup of chamomile lavender honey tea. Good thing working with Vermouth has knocked most of the starstruck behaviour out of him; his younger self would have made a fool of himself.

He can't afford that. After all, they are seeking him out in an official capacity, requesting PSB senior agent Furuya Rei's cooperation.

It certainly is strange for them to reach out through him, considering his known enmity of Akai. But he's a professional - he might be reluctant to work with the man, but it's not his decision to make. He'll relay the offer, unless it's utter garbage.

So he pays attention while they share what they can of their plan to take down the organisation. Listens to their pledge for equal contribution, and their promise of crediting the PSB with a successful operation; an obvious play intended to soothe the wounded pride of the Japanese, after years of illegal activity. But it's the least they can do.

If one were to ask Rei, the offer is certainly worth considering. The PSB has been working the case for five years now, and while they have gathered intel, and managed to place Bourbon as a vital asset, they're barely closer to shutting the organization down than when they started. It's sprawling, interconnected with various businesses, and, worst of all, active internationally. If they don't cut off all its heads at the same time, odds are the members will simply flee to a different branch. Maybe lie low for a bit, and then go about their business with renewed vigour.

It seems like an international cooperation might just be necessary to achieve this task. So he'll be their messenger; it's above his pay grade to decide whether to take them up on the offer or not.

Though privately, he hopes his superiors agree; every day they lose ground to the organization. By this point, Rei doesn't really care anymore whose plan it is that finally does the organization in, as long as it gets done. (And as long as he and the PSB are finally treated with the appropriate amount of respect.)

Still, he can't help thinking they wouldn't be having this conversation now, if these foreign agencies had respected the official channels ahead of time. Maybe Hiro could be hiding in Nagano then, with his brother, instead of being confined to the other half of the globe. In the US, of all the terrible places to be. He shivers.

.

By the time they're done it's very late. Rei is already half-dozing off, despite his best efforts to stay awake. It would be highly irresponsible to drive in this state, so he's asked their hosts for a coffee (he's sure a place housing Akai will have more than enough of it to go around). He'll just rest his eyes for a moment, until they're back.

.

Something light is being dropped on him, almost stirs him to consciousness. But it's warm, soft, and smells of huddling together in an abandoned apartment.

(Of long-forgotten small comforts.)

Not a threat.

Thus satisfied, his body collects its due, and he's dragged back under, into deep, dreamless sleep.

.

Which brings Rei to the reason he's late.

Someone, and he has a very good idea of who it was, put his phone in airplane mode, drew all the curtains shut, and kept the rest of the house quiet.

(Let him sleep for as long as he needed to.)

So Rei wakes up with a start, in a barely familiar place, the digital clock on the wall indicating it's way past opening time for Poirot. Shit.

He grabs his belongings, pistol, clothes and keys and all, and dashes out the door. He swears he can see Okiya - no, Akai, he was right, damn it - look down on him from that favourite window of his. Asshole. Contrary to him Rei has a job, a cover to maintain. He'll get back at him, yet.

.

It should probably worry him that he can perform the drive to Poirot on autopilot. Too many late-night stakeouts turning into impromptu naps, requiring him to drive straight to work after. So much trouble, over nothing. If Akai had just cooperated sooner-

Then, what? Rei hadn't managed to track him down before his supposed death, and the less interaction there is between Okiya Subaru and Amuro Tooru, the better for both of them. He grinds his teeth, barely manages to brake in time for a redlight.

(Hates that he understands the caution, to a degree.)

.

The universe really is conspiring against him, today.

After the lunchtime rush, a certain pocket-sized detective is ushered in through the door, followed by his guardian and her best friend. The kid gives him odd looks all throughout ordering lunch, too sharp in a way that makes the hairs at the back of his neck stand in up. Rei gives him his sunniest smile, and an extra packet of sugar. He's played games with Gin and Vermouth in worse conditions; he won't yield to a particularly precocious six-year-old.

Despite getting more sleep than the last three nights combined, he's not feeling too well. A single good night's rest can't undo weeks of insomnia. If anything, it only makes apparent what he's lacking.

He finds his mind wandering, glad the preparation of food comes automatically, by now. Whisk and mix and pour. Fry, remove from the pan...

"...uro? You seem unwell."

Too-familiar green eyes stare back at him, bags under the eyes and all. Rei barely manages not to flinch.

Of all the people to catch him spacing out, it just has to be Akai's little sister. The gods must truly hate him.

"Ah, miss Sera. I apologize, I was just pondering some new options for our menu." He winks, gives her his most dazzling smile. "The chamomile lavender honey tea cake has me under its spell."

In response, she just wrinkles her nose, unimpressed. Squints at him with those jade eyes that always see through him too easily.

"Are you sure you're not running a fever? It seems a little warm in here already, yet you're working in a sweater."

Rei blinks at that. The temperature seems fine to him. Azusa hasn't said anything about it either.

"I appreciate the concern, but I assure you, I'm perfectly fine. Now, what can I get you?"

One slice of red velvet cake (of course - why did they even keep that on the menu?) and a macchiato later he's rid of her.

For now, at least - she's joined her friends at the window seats, and judging by the way she keeps sneaking glances at him when she thinks he isn't looking, he hasn't seen the last of her yet.

Still, her questions are odd. Surely he doesn't look that terrible?

(Vermouth has taught him some of her secrets; he's been concealing the shadows under his eyes for a while now. Nobody's ever found him out. Why is it now that people notice?)

.

He continues to work mindlessly, unfocused. This damn shift just doesn't seem to want to end.

He just about manages to avoid knocking Ran out for leaning over the counter, into his space. She remains blissfully unaware of the danger she just escaped, smiling brightly, kindly.

"Excuse me, I have a question."

Rei closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, counts to four. Smiles at the girl. "Go ahead", he says, continuing to whisk some cake batter.

Ran leans in closer, conspiratorially.

"Masumi is too shy to ask" - that's a bold-faced lie, if he's ever heard one, and he's something of an expert on the matter - "but she'd love to know where you got that sweater."

Now, Ran's a lovely young lady, always eager to help. It's a pity she's being manipulated for Sera's gain. Because there has to be more to the question, even if Rei can't see it yet.

Of course, he can't tell the girls the truth - Kazami bought it for Bourbon's cover. But the best lies are closest to the truth, so-

"I apologize, but I do not know where it was bought. A friend gave it to me." His best calculated-apologetic smile smoothes the blow, hopefully.

"Oh. I see." Ran visibly deflates. Still, her good manners prevail. "Thank you, though!" And with that, she's heading back to her table.

Strange. What could Sera possibly want with his sweater? If she wanted to track him down, surely there's more efficient ways, and it's not like he doesn't have a dozen similar cream sweaters-

Wait. Cream?

Rei's pretty sure he dressed in black to infiltrate the Kudo manor. He's not been home and he hasn't changed for work.

He manages to supress a groan, but he's sure there's some unpleasant emotion visible on his face.

...he must have grabbed the sweater along with the rest of his belongings in the morning rush.

Now that he's looking at it, it's clearly a little too large for him. It's also warm, fuzzy, soft, and utterly unoffensive. That's probably why it didn't register, before.

The sweater does smell decidedly of Akai - cigarettes and a hint of his obnoxious aftershave. The warm scent of curry is new - though unsurprising, given his foray into cooking. Great. That's why they've been staring at him. Sera likely recognizes the sweater and Conan spends enough time with Akai to know the scent.

His gut instinct is to go change, right now, get rid of the damning piece of connection to the man he has too many conflicting emotions about. But a long-sleeved black turtleneck is hardly appropriate work attire for Poirot. Besides, if he changes now, the pair of detectives watching him will just have their suspicions confirmed.

So he grits his teeth, takes in a deep breath that smells too much like Akai, and gets back to work.

.

Rei does change out of the sweater as soon as he's done with his shift.

(It doesn't help. The scent lingers.)

.

He's tempted to just toss the sweater, but can't help feeling like it would be a waste. It's quality craftsmanship, well-worn but taken care of - this kind of sweater would pill, otherwise.

It really shouldn't be faulted for its owner's flaws.

So he puts the sweater in a bag, intending to have it dry-cleaned and give it back later.

He should really hunt down Akai, too, but if he's honest, he's just too tired. He probably shouldn't even drive, in his condition, but he needs to get to a safe place, to think about the developments of the night.

.

He reports to Kuroda, showers thoroughly, and falls into bed.

.

Rei can't have slept long. The sunset colours the world in blood red hues by the time he wakes up, out of breath, heartbeat too fast.

Visions of smoke and ash cling to him. Explosions, destroying him one by one, until nothing remains but death alone.

Hagiwara and Matsuda, taken by violent flame.

Hiro's remains, crushed and burnt beyond recognition.

Akai's smile, grimly defiant, as he's shot by Kir. He too finds his end in a blaze, lacking glory.

They're gone.

Consumed by the inferno that seems to follow Rei around. Which burns everything he cares about, leaves him freezing in its wake.

(He can't even cry, his tears evaporating in the heat.)

Rei shivers, draws the blankets closer. Hopes for a little bit of cover, a little bit of warmth.

Please. If he could just shake off the nausea. If he could stop his spiralling thoughts. Logically, he knows that's not all true, even if his heart burns. Akai and Hiro aren't dead.

It's a lie, they're alive, it's a lie, they're alive, it's a lie a lie a lie a lie-

A set of sharp barks rips him out of his thoughts, back into the present.

Oh. He's woken Haro.

The little guy stands in front of his bed, ears tucked back and hackles raised. A defiant ball of fluff that cares so much, trying to growl the nightmares away.

(It might just work.)

Slowly, shaking and somewhat off-balance, he reaches down to scoop up his dog. Wiggles the blanket off his shoulders so he may cradle the whining bundle of fur to his chest. It's soothing, to feel the warmth of another living being by his side. They sit, the silence permeated by Haro's huffed breaths. His body heat seeps into Rei's chest, nestles in his heart.

"I apologize for worrying you. I'll be fine, soon."

He's not alone.

Haro nudges his hand, demands to be pet. Rei obliges, of course he does.

He's not alone.

.

Still, the headache is a pain. He won't be able to go back to sleep like this, will need to grab a painkiller.

He makes his way to the kitchen counter, keeping to the walls because he's still somewhat unsteady, carrying his bundle of warmth along.

The dog throws a fit as they pass the bag with Akai's sweater, growling and yapping at it. Despite the circumstances, Rei can't help but smile.

"I'm glad to see we feel the same way about him."

Wait.

Inspiration strikes in the form of a very stupid idea.

Because that sweater, with its stupid mixed scents, reeking of Akai, is proof he didn't just imagine last night's events. Tangible and olfactory and physical proof. If he were to wake from a nightmare, with it by his side...the anger at Akai would surely keep the pain at bay.

It's worth a try.

.

As he goes back to bed, Haro lies down beside him. Rei keeps petting him, one-handedly. With the other, he holds on to a cream sweater that isn't his.

When he breathes, it smells of too-long stakeouts in windy apartments.

Of Rye's extra blankets, the ones he started to bring when he noticed Bourbon always freezing; irritating to no end, how he was always better prepared for cold weather than Rei.

(It smells of Bourbon's cooking, given in exchange for soft blankets.)

Scents of a tentative alliance, as thread-bare as the fabric between them.

Grounded between the warmth of Haro, and the scent of Akai, Rei falls asleep, waiting for the dog days to finally be over.

[local-redhead-bookworm]

I 100% agree with you about Olrox and turning his past love into a vampire. yeah there wasn't much info given in that conversation but no where did it imply it was or wasn't a consensual turning. especially given Olrox is the survivor (that I'm assuming, unless was turned by a vampire Conquistador) of his people being brutalized. if anyone knows even a bit of history of colonization there was no consent in anything those pillagers did to the people of that time.

Olrox has a past of horrible thing(s) happening to him and I doubt he'd do that to another native person who was also fighting for his freedom too! people jumping to that conclusion about an Aztec vampire really just rubs the wrong way :/

That’s my reasoning as well. We don’t have a super firm idea of Olrox’s character as of yet, but like you said, given his own past and seeing his culture wiped out, I don’t really picture him as the type to turn someone without consent.

It’s still unclear exactly how Olrox became a vampire, whether he was turned by the conquistadores, or if he already was a vampire before their arrival in Mezoamerica. From my brief research, there do seem to be Aztec ‘vampire’ myths, but the correlation isn’t very strong and those vampires were usually women who died in childbirth. Which, you know, Olrox doesn’t really fit the bill for.

I personally think, given this show’s very clear use of vampires as a representation of colonization, Olrox probably was turned sometime during the fall of the Aztec empire. And that’s another reason why I find it unlikely that Olrox would turn someone without their consent, especially if he himself was turned without his.

And I agree. Olrox clearly admired and respected his Mohican lover a great deal, even if historically, fighting on the side of the American revolutionaries still didn’t work out well for the native peoples. I’m not casting moral judgment on those who did make the assumption, but it feels wrong and, in my opinion, a bit racist to jump to the conclusion that the only native character in the show would commit such a serious breach of a person’s autonomy. After all, given that turning a person is overall how vampires reproduce, it would essentially be SA to turn someone without their say. Again, jumping to the conclusion that the only native character in the show would do that is really uncomfortable for me.

It’s also not consistent with his actions toward Mizrak, in my opinion. If Olrox had wanted to, he could have kept Mizrak from fighting, but in spite of how much it pained him, he let him go. Olrox is definitely morally questionable in some areas, but I think it’s clear that he respects his lovers’ decisions. I could picture it being a last-minute decision to save his lover from dying, but that’s the only circumstance I could really see Olrox turning his lover without his consent.

[vulturevanity]

I feel like SV girlies haven't seriously considered "codependent mutually obsessive JuliNemo" yet and that's a shame, really. I've seen a lot of wholesome ChampionRank (really cute but a rehash of every wholesome yuri I've ever seen, not much original content here and that's okay) and one-sided obsessive yandere!Nemona ChampionRank (REALLY do not like the villainization of Nemona's neurodivergence but eh, you can do whatever you want forever) but not as much "these two get on like a house on fire. and boy, it's dry season" ChampionRank.

Where is "battle-hungry socially starved trainwrecks who have no one but each other" JuliNemo. Where is "oh god these two exacerbate each others issues into the stratosphere and this can only end in disaster but I can't look away" JuliNemo. Where is "bringing out the worst in each other and scaring the hoes" JuliNemo. Where is "you two are perfect for each other. Never change, just never involve anyone else in any of this" JuliNemo. There's so much potential here. Toxic codependent yuri save me

[dare-g]

Drumming action shots

[di-daynamic]

@hinnymicrofic May Day 21: Drunk

“Alright, Weasley?” Potter smirked at her. “Not too despairing, I hope? I won’t catch you if you faint.”

“Ha fucking ha, Potter,” Ginny snarled. “Just because your team got this shot doesn’t mean you’ll win. Wait and watch. We’ll be winning today.”

Potter smiled that absolutely infuriating smug smile of his. “You go on dreaming,” he said in a faux soothing voice. “But I have to go fly. And win.”

He flew seemingly erratically and dismantled her teammates’ formation with next to no effort.

Ginny gritted her teeth.

Harry Potter was a legend in quidditch. He’d been selected for his house team in his first year, led Ravenclaw to a victory several times, missed a catch only a handful of times and had been picked as reserve seeker straight out of school by the Pride of Portree before starting for the Ballycastle Bats.

The first time, Ginny had been excited to play him.

That had been before she’d realized what a Merlin damned asshole he was.

Well. Famous prodigy or not, she and her team would beat him and his.

Ginny seized the quaffle mid switch of the Bats’ Chasers. She passed it to Val who passed it back to her right in time and position to score. Fans roared and booed. She turned to Potter and made a violently rude gesture at him.

He only smirked back at her.

For some reason, that sent a shiver down her spine.

The next forty minutes were a deadly dance of taunting and dodging and scoring and flying. Ginny’s blood sang in the air. Flying brought a thrill to her she never got anywhere else, except for from Harry Potter’s scorching glares and mocking.

He seemed to delight in frustrating her. He was edging her, blocking her, ruining her plays ever other second. She couldn’t shake the feeling that he was unnervingly concentrated on her, despite him always being an active seeker in all his matches.

A Bat scored again, and Potter did a loop-de-loop in celebration before shooting in a slanted line towards the centre of the pitch.

Ginny’s heart skipped a beat. The Snitch!

Potter was widely regarded as the best Seeker in the League. Melissa was good, but Ginny wasn’t being cruel when she thought she was no match for him. Their only hope was the score: which was currently two-ten to sixty in the Harpies’ favour.

If Potter caught the Snitch, they would lose.

Ginny dove down, and her stomach dropped and rose all at once at the terror and thrill and joy of the act. She buzzed the opposing chaser, nearly Blatched another, grabbed the quaffle and threw it at the hoops.

It was a long shot – but the keeper had been distracted by the Snitch chase and the quaffle sailed through the left hoop right as Potter’s fist closed around the Snitch.

The spectators roared. There was a great deal of confusion. But finally, the referee declared the Holyhead Harpies to be the winners.

Ginny whooped as she took her victory lap. Her eyes met Potter’s, and she tilted her head towards him cockily. His gaze was burning. Hate and, somehow, admiration. Ginny’s heart flipped unnaturally, and she ignored it as she sped towards her celebrating teammates.

She spent the next few hours at the Holyhead unofficial pub, getting congratulated and mobbed by fans and drunk with her teammates. Vision blurring a little – she’d perhaps had one drink too many – she flooed to the nearest public floo point to her apartment.

Her head spun as she walked back home, dazed and drunk on joy and alcohol.

“Weasley,” came a slurred voice. “If it isn’t the bloody heroine of the hour.”

Ginny turned. If she was drunk, Harry Potter was completely plastered. His hair was more of a rat’s nest than usual, his features were slack, but his green eyes were as blazing as ever.

“Potter. Why, here to expend your Loser’s Lurgy?” She instantly regretted referring to one of Luna’s wild stories. To her surprise, Potter just barked a laugh.

“You’re friends with Luna too, huh?” She stared. Why the hell had she never told Ginny Luna was friends with Quidditch Star Harry Potter? “Nothing like that. Mates an’ me got drunk, and Dad and Mum and Sirius will never let me hear the end of it if I go to them, and Hermione would kill me for drinking dangerously. And Nev’s out of town. So just. . . Wandering ‘round.”

In one sentence Potter had told her more than she ever wanted to know about his life.

“Like I wanted to know, Potter,” she jeered. She turned to go.

“You asked, Weasley.” Came his teasing voice. Ginny pressed her eyes shut furiously. She supposed she had. “Not going to bitch or gloat about your win?”

“Me, gloat?” Ginny’s voice was taut as she went and pressed her finger to his chest. He just smiled at her, giving her that damned smugly superior look she hated. “Says Harry Potter, the sorest winner in the whole world!”

Potter laughed incredulously. “Coming from Ginevra Weasley, the most morally superior too good for everyone player?”

“The worst—”

“Bloody crazy and arrogant—”

“Infuriating asshole—”

“Self-righteous shrew with attitude problems—”

“Smirking like the bloody devil himself, why are you so—” Ginny breathed heavily. “So incredibly good at quidditch—”

“And why are you so. . . .��� Potter’s voice dropped to a ragged whisper. “So. . . so fucking pretty?”

Their eyes met. And the next moment, they were kissing.

Potter kissed like a storm. He kissed her like she was the last thing left on earth. He kissed her like she was water in a desert.

Gasping, they tore away from each other as someone called at them to get a room.

This was a terrible idea.

Her brothers would encourage it, which was a warning all in itself. Her parents would be very sternly horrified. They were on opposite teams, facing in the league.

She didn’t care.

He was a drug she wanted to get high, delirious, drunk on.

This was a terrible idea.

“My apartment’s that way,” she said.

[avirael]

The Frozen Lake

It was the third day since he had stopped feeling like dying.

About a week ago he had woken up from his far too lifelike fever dream and a few days later the last spikes of the fever itself had been gone too just like the hallucinations it had brought in his sleep.

He still had been sick though and welcomed Rael telling him to stay in bed until he was perfectly healthy again all too eagerly.

While he still sneezed every now and then, it was at least tolerable now, still annoying but he didn’t feel incredibly uncomfortable anymore.

That day, just like the last and also the ones before that, he had awoken late. Against Rael’s order to stay in bed he had found the courage to get up and take a look out of the window. It was a sunny day, which in Coerthas still meant that it was bitterly cold though. But the sun was shining brightly and already high in the sky too which meant it had to be almost midday. He had slept way too long again, way to many hours for a surprisingly dreamless sleep. Or maybe it was exactly the lack of dreams that allowed him to finally rest, after all in the past there rarely had been good ones…

For a moment he considered to go downstairs and ask for a late breakfast if that wasn’t too insolent given the late hour but then a knock sounded from the door.

Quickly he hurried back to bed, just in case it was Rael, but the person who carefully peeked into the room a few seconds later wasn’t a viera.

“Ah, you are awake! That’s good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and brought a small tray with hot soup and also something warm to drink. “It is so late already, you must be horribly hungry. Alphinaud checked in on you earlier but you were still fast asleep and he didn’t have the heart to wake you.”

A little uncertain on how to answer to that, A’viloh just nodded. Haurchefant grinned, put down a mug on the bedside table and handed A‘viloh a comfortingly warm bowl filled with some rather delicious smelling stew.

Instead of fetching the chair from the small desk by the window, Haurchefant sat down at the lower end of the bed balancing the tray with his own lunch on his knees. Rael once told him that ishgardian society had an absurd amount of strict and antiquated rules and so A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder, that although it seemed like a very appropriate distance to him, in Haurchefant’s hometown the fact alone that he dared to sit on someone else’s bed was probably scandalous.

“I hope you don’t mind me having lunch with you.”, the Elezen asked as he noticed A‘viloh staring.

Quickly the Miqo’te lowered his gaze to his bowl of soup. “Not at all.”, he muttered and tried a spoonful of the food just to change the topic. “Mhh, this is very good!”, he mumbled, still chewing, surprised by how good this really was compared to the bland food and bitter teas Rael had usually brought him these last few days. It must have been the Viera’s way of punishing him for running away.

Haurchefant laughed and then for a while they ate in silence.

“You look a lot healthier already.”, the Elezen stated after a while with an amiable smile on his face before taking a sip from his mug.

A‘viloh shrugged a little embarrassed, since it had been his own fault that he hadn’t been well in the first place. “Only because all of you took so good care of me.”

Haurchefant nodded. “You know, you had us all horribly worried right?”

“Sorry about that.”, he said and guitily looked into his mug.

Curiously Haurchefant eyed him for a moment. “Why did you do that anyway? Run out into the storm.”

A bit surprised A’viloh looked up. Had they all thought he had done this on purpose? “There wasn’t a storm when I left! What do I know about weather? I didn’t expect it to start snowing, let alone that much!”

That made the Elezen chuckle again but he still looked at him expecting an answer.

“Still… why did you leave?”

“I assumed Rael told you…”, A’viloh replied not sure what Haurchefant wanted to hear exactly. He nodded. “Rael did. But maybe I want to hear it from you…”

A’viloh sighed. His plan hadn’t been very smart and he felt a little uncomfortable having to explain his reasons to someone else, when in retrospect it didn’t make much sense even to his own ears.

“You know the… circumstances under which we fled Ul’dah… I couldn’t… um… the fact that we didn’t even know what happened to our friends… I wanted to find out, because it doesn’t seem fair to me that we escaped while all of them didn’t…”

“Mhh…”, Haurchefant nodded thoughtfully but let go off the topic for now. Instead he asked, „And how are you feeling today?”

Somehow that question confused A’viloh even more.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a simple question, isn’t it?”, he said still smiling politely.

Of course it was a simple question. Just the answer felt unreasonable complicated to him. To make things even more difficult people who asked such a question usually wanted to hear “I‘m fine, and you?” or “Very good, thank you.” for an answer and rarely the truth. They certainly didn’t want to hear “A few days ago I was convinced I was going to die and honestly it wasn’t that bad, so now I‘m still not sure wether I am happy to still be alive or not”.

“Alright… I guess.”, he mumbled instead. He had never been a good liar and could only hope that this fact wasn’t too obvious for the Elezen.

“You know what?”, Haurchefant proclaimed after watching him thoughtfully for a second. “Today is a wonderful day. We should go for a walk.”

“A walk?!”, A’viloh exclaimed wide-eyed, as if he had just asked something unreasonable of him.

“Why not?”

A’viloh couldn’t think of a good reason why not, other than that he was supposed to stay in bed, so he shrugged.

“Where’s Rael?”, he asked instead.

Haurchefant smirked. “Do you need Rael’s permission to go outside?”

“Of course not.”, the Miqo’te protested. “But Rael will be mad if I run off again, especially against their orders to stay in bed.”

“Rael and Alphinaud went to the observatory earlier.”, Haurchefant explained. “We’ll be back before they are, I promise.”

What was A’viloh supposed to say against that and also against the expectant look on the Elezen’s face. He took another glimpse towards the window and decided that it looked nice enough to go outside.

“Fine.”

“Good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and collected their empty bowls and mugs. “There should be warm clothes for you in the wardrobe. If you need anything else just ask someone. I’ll wait for you by the northern gate.”

After Haurchefant had left, A’viloh remained sitting in his bed for a moment longer contemplating on the Elezen’s question. Yes, he felt better again. But better in what comparison? Better than a few days ago when he had felt and also been half-dead? Though he didn’t feel sick anymore now, there still was a weigh on his heart. From his plan that had failed so spectacularly and even more so from the dreams he wouldn’t have minded to keep on dreaming forever.

Vehemently he shook his head and decided not to think about that now or he would just crawl back under the blanket of his comfortably warm bed again. Instead he got up and took a look into the wardrobe. Almost none of these were his own clothes of course since all he possessed were the ones he had worn on his body that day they fled Ul’dah. Very unsuitable for this climate. But neither did he see the borrowed clothes he had worn that night when he had tried to run away. Everything in here looked even softer and warmer like someone had wanted to make sure he was feeling comfortable. To his surprise the things didn’t look that much too big for him either, unlike his last set of clothes. Besides a few Hyur most people here at Camp Dragonhead were grown up Elezen but these clothes looked like they belonged to neither. Maybe it were clothes for Elezen children, he wondered and also thought that in that case someone must have brought them here just for him.

Grateful for so much effort he picked a few pieces and got dressed. Lazily he ran his fingers through his hair to get rid of the worst knots but the look into the small mirror at the washbasin, where his tired face stared back at him reproachfully, just made him sigh. Once he was ready he took the warm coat out of the wardrobe too and went out to look for Haurchefant. Just as he had said, the Elezen was standing by the gate that led to the north-east, towards the ruins of the Steel Vigil.

From afar Haurchefant already recognised the Miqo’te, his bright red hair a singularity among all the people living here. Pleasantly smiling as always he waved at him and A’viloh couldn’t help but smile a little too and wave back as he hurriedly walked towards him.

“There you are! I see the clothes fit you nicely.”

A’viloh nodded.

“They do. Thank you very much for these.”

Haurchefant dismissively waved with one hand. “It’s the least I could do…”

But he had done a lot more than that, A’viloh thought. “I think there’s more I need to thank you for. Rael told me it was you who saved my life.”

“Mhhh…”, Haurchefant tilted his head as if he wasn’t sure if this statement was entirely the truth. “Rael is too humble. They played a bit of a role in that too. After all it was Rael who noticed you were gone. And it was also Rael who didn’t leave your bedside and tried their best to heal you.”

A’viloh remembered waking up and finding the usually quite touch-averse viera cuddled up to him with a look on their face so horribly sad like he had never seen on them before. Rael had pretended it was nothing but it had been a very unconvincing performance. Asked about it Alphinaud had only offered a few sentences about how worried Rael had looked and how they had used all kinds of spells he himself had never seen or heard of before, all of it to try and save him. It had made him feel even more guilty for his stupidity.

So maybe Haurchefant was right. But still it had been him who had risked going out into the storm to find him.

“Anyway. I still want to thank you! Honestly.”, he insisted. But how honestly was it really?

Sure, he was glad to still be alive. After all his plan hadn’t been to run out into a blizzard and freeze to death, although some of them seemed to think that was the case. But once he found himself in this situation he had to admit that he had welcomed his fate rather willingly. A fact that shocked even himself a little looking back at it now.

“You’re welcome. After all you wouldn’t be any help to your friends frozen to death out there.”, Haurchefant joked with a wry smile on his lips.

“I guess not...”, A’viloh muttered, the topic of his friends making his mood visibly sink again.

Of course the Elezen noticed and his smile turned into a playful grin. “But I acted a little selfish too, you know? I think Camp Dragonhead is a lot friendlier with your company and I would like to have you and your pretty smile around a little longer.”

For a moment A’viloh’s eyes shot up to look at the others face before he quickly pretended that something somewhere a little bit to his left was a lot more interesting. Sometimes Haurchefant randomly said things, A’viloh hadn’t had the slightest idea how to react to. Not because he was that oblivious but simply because it puzzled him. Nonetheless the air suddenly didn’t feel that cold anymore on his face.

Haurchefant was always very kind to him. Well, he mostly was kind to everybody but sometimes he seemed to admire him especially. Him of all people, although there was nothing special about him. Haurchefant sometimes spoke of him like he was one of the greatest heroes of all time and it felt so ridiculous to him. He was just silly, cowardly A‘viloh! What had he ever achieved in his miserable life to justify such admiration? The people called him a Warrior of Light but wasn’t that some grand overstatement? Some days he thought all of this had been a horrible mistake. A great misunderstanding! Then he wondered how he had ever gotten entangled in this madness in the first place and also if he ever would get out of it again. But what else should he do with his life anyway...

While A’viloh’s brain still screeched in desperate search for a proper response, Haurchefant seemed to realise he had flustered him and glossed it over by gesturing to the gate.

“How about we walk a few yalms? There’s something you need to see!”

Still too dumbstruck to speak or to even wonder what the Elezen was talking about, A’viloh nodded and then proceeded to follow him out into the snowy landscape.

After a few minutes Haurchefant paused and took a deep breath. “Isn’t the air wonderful today?”

A’viloh followed his example, breathed deeply and let his gaze wander over the snow covered landscape with a few pines here and there and the mountains and ruins of the Steel Vigil in the distance. The air was cool and fresh, still cold enough that the warm sun couldn’t melt the snow. Instead the rays of sunshine made the scenery shine and sparkle as if everything was covered not in ice but in millions over millions of tiny diamonds.

“It is.”, he answered and smiled, surprised how beautiful this inhospitable landscape could be, before with a sudden spark of curiosity he finally asked. “Where are we going?”

“It’s not far anymore.”, Haurchefant said with a grin on his face and pointed into another direction. Shortly after and only a bit further ahead they reached a small lake.

As they got closer A‘viloh noticed that it not only was covered in a layer of snow and ice but also that quite a few off-duty soldiers, given the proximity to the camp he assumed they had to be, were standing right on top of the frozen lake. No, they were not quite standing. It looked more like they were dancing or flying maybe. More or less gracefully they moved over the lake‘s surface in fluid swift strides, some just moving in wide circles and other swirling around this way or that. A’viloh had never seen something like this and it looked strange and impossible but at the same time very beautiful to him.

The two of them had almost reached the lake by then, A’viloh a few steps ahead to get a better look at the wondrous people on the ice and he already wanted to ask how they did that, when his attention was drawn elsewhere by a curious squawking sound.

“Oh! Look at them!”, the Miqo’te exclaimed, his fascinated smile still turning a little brighter, as he gestured to a small flock of wild geese resting at the shore of the lake. With ruffled feathers they sat closely huddled together at the edge of the ice and suddenly A‘viloh couldn’t help but worry about them. They looked so unbothered by his presence, sleeping through the day and all the hubbub around them, looking all exhausted and frozen with their puffed up feathers. Like anything could happen to them and they wouldn’t even mind.

Strangely he wondered what he himself had looked like when Haurchefant had found him unconscious in the snow. He must have been a pitiful sight. Had the Elezen thought him beyond saving too, just like he himself had. What if he had found him a little later or not at all? Maybe that would have been better, a voice murmured to him just like it had so many times before and for a moment, tempted by the grief heavy on his heart once again, he almost believed it.

But no, he would be dead then and while he would have liked to imagine that this would mean he could be with his loved ones again, it was not exactly what either of the tribes he had lived with believed.

Vaguely he remembered his father working for hours, digging a grave at what used to be Wellwick Wood. An elderly woman too exhausted by their long journey, his grandmother if he remembered correctly, had died shortly after they had arrived there. With a sad smile on his face his father had explained to his children, who had stared down into the hole in the ground with confusion in their eyes, how by returning her body to the earth there could still grow new life from this death.

Or the drake tribe of the Sagolii Desert, who always burned their dead and left the ashes to be carried away by the desert wind, believing that it would make it easier for the deceased‘s aether to return to the Aetheric Sea and create something new elsewhere.

With a sudden sharp pain in his heart A’viloh realised that neither of the people he loved had gotten the burial they would have wanted for themselves. And neither had A‘viloh himself wanted to die in the coldness of Coerthas and be forever forgotten under a thick layer of snow and ice. He had thought about dying before but never had he been this close to it. For a second he wondered if this was something worth speaking to Rael about, but he wasn’t sure they wouldn’t misunderstand and get mad at him again.

“Why do you make such a sad face now?”, Haurchefant asked having noticed the smile slip from the Miqo’te’s face. But A’viloh just vehemently shook his head and focused on the geese again.

“They must be horribly cold.”, he wondered in a voice that suggested he already planned to take all of them to the safety of his comfortably warm room.

Haurchefant chuckled. “Don’t worry, they survived the storm out here after all. They keep each other warm, that’s why you‘ll rarely see one of them alone. A bit like you and your friends.”

“Maybe…”, A’viloh answered thinking about this comparison for a moment. “I just wish it wouldn’t always be me who needs to be taken care of. But as proven in Ul’dah and now once again I am simply too weak and useless to keep myself alive, not to mention anyone else.”

The Elezen’s face got a little stern as he folded his arms in front of his chest. “Don’t say that, I am sure it’s not true! This was just bad luck! You are neither weak nor useless!”

A’viloh shrugged. “But that’s how I feel right now...”

Slowly Haurchefant nodded before speaking again with a silent but determined voice. “Listen. I‘ll never forget how bravely you fought for Francel although you barely knew him. You could have gotten yourself in trouble with that and you helped him anyway.”

“It’s not like I did that on my own -”, A’viloh tried to protest but was immediately interrupted. “But you still helped! And I’m sure even without Rael you would have done so!”

Another shrug was all Haurchefant got in response, so the Elezen thought for a second before making an offer. “You want to make yourself useful, right? Get stronger? I could teach you how to fight like a real ishgardian knight, with sword and shield. Or we have some dragoons at Camp Dragonhead too! I’m sure there’s a lot you could learn from them.”

A‘viloh‘s face turned to disbelief. “I really don’t think I could fight with armor and weapons this heavy…”

“You can’t say so if you don’t try! And I have you know that dragoon armors are surprisingly light. How do you think they could still be this agile otherwise? Promise me to at least try training with them a little!”

He didn’t really want to agree to that. He knew he would make a fool of himself. But how could he say no with Haurchefant trying everything in his power to cheer him up. Weakly he shook his head and muttered: “Fine…”

“Perfect!”, Haurchefant exclaimed with a bright smile on his face. “I think an early reward for your efforts is appropriate then!”

Confused A’viloh watched him take a small bag off of his shoulders, which he hadn’t even noticed until now. For a moment the Elezen was busy undoing a knot before he opened the bag and presented to A‘viloh a set of two weirdly shaped blades attached to pieces of wood with leather straps. He had no idea what these constructs were meant to do and that was plainly visible on his face. “What’s that?”

“Ice skates of course!”, Haurchefant said as if that would explain it all but the Miqo’te‘s face remained clueless, so Haurchefant gestured to the lake behind them. “You attach them to your boots so you can walk on the ice like this!”

“Oh!”, A’viloh exclaimed as he understood what Haurchefant was planning. “I don’t think-… I mean I‘ve never-… You don’t really want me to step on that lake do you?” The idea somehow scared him.

“Why not?”, Haurchefant asked for the second time today with this smile that made the question sound like a challenge.

“It’s just a bit of ice!”, A‘vi objected. “What if it breaks?”

The Elezen shook his head and proceeded to fasten the metal blades beneath his boots. “Ah, don’t worry. The ice is thick enough, it will take at least a few more days to melt.”

“I don’t know…”, was all A’viloh replied as Haurchefant pressed another pair of skates into his hands. But the Elezen remained determined and took a few wobbly steps through the snow and onto the ice. “See! I can stand on it and it doesn’t break! You are a lot lighter than me, so why wouldn’t you be able to?”

Oh, you don’t know my bad luck!, A‘viloh thought but Haurchefant didn’t look like he would take that for an excuse. Instead he stretched out a hand towards the Miqo’te. “Come one! Believe me, this is going to be funny!”

For a second A‘viloh pondered his options. The idea of nothing but a little bit of ice between him and the water still terrified him but Haurchefant seemed so excited about this and the other people actually seemed to have fun too. Maybe he should at least pretend to try... Reluctantly he sat down on a rock and tried to put on the skates just like Haurchefant had done a moment ago.

“The clasp on the back too. Make sure none of them are loose… Yes, that looks fine!”, Haurchefant helpfully explained. As A’viloh got up, he almost flopped right back down into the snow. It was a weird feeling to balance his whole weight on only two thin pieces of metal. As he carefully took the first few steps towards the lake Haurchefant reached out for him once more. “Here! Take my hand! I don’t want you to fall…”

Hesitantly A‘vi stepped onto the ice and immediately felt like the ground was being pulled away beneath his feet. He struggled for balance, feeling himself falling backwards, so Haurchefants arm was a very welcome thing to hold on to.

With a chuckle the Elezen tried to loosen A‘vi‘s desperate grip on his arm and instead took each of his hand in one of his own before carefully making slow steps backwards pulling A‘viloh over the ice, which A’vi could swear was making suspicious crackling sounds below them. There was no way to tell the blades beneath his feet not to move, so all A’viloh could do was try not to fall and plead to Haurchefant with ears flat on his head and panic in his eyes, as he slowly was pulled further onto the lake. “No, no, no. Take me back, that’s a horrible idea!”

“Calm down. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I promise.”, Haurchefant said soothingly and continued to explain to him how to move on the ice skates. And in fact the Elezen’s calm voice slowly made A’viloh feel less anxious. His hands, frantically clasping at Haurchefant’s, relaxed along with his legs. It was still a weird feeling to be standing on the ice but now it felt a lot easier to remain balanced. He glanced at the people around them while remaining as still as possible, studied their movements for a moment and then tentatively tried to mimic the way they slowly pushed their feet above the slippery surface. To his surprise he really moved forward without much effort and also without feeling the sensation of falling again, closer to Haurchefant who had steadied him with his outstretched arms so far.

“See! It’s not that difficult.”, he said while making another step backwards so A’viloh had to follow with another step forward. The Miqo’te, strangely excited about the fact that he was actually moving on these weird ice-blades, laughed happily. “You are even going backwards!”

Haurchefants laughed. “One step after the other. Let’s teach you how to go forward first, hm? I‘ll let go off one of your hands but don’t worry, I still got you. One feet after the other just like you did before…”

In fact it almost felt easier now that he could use one of his arms to balance himself. Very slowly at first they floated above the icy surface of the lake but soon A‘viloh got braver. Once he almost lost his balance but for a comparably tall and strong person like Haurchefant it seemed like a very easy task to keep a small Miqo’te on his feet. Almost falling had felt like a shock for a second but only moments later they were laughing about it and in the end A’viloh was surprised and also a little proud how quickly he had learned and how much fun this was.

He wasn’t sure how much time they spent there on the frozen lake but at some point a bell sounded from the nearby Camp. Startled A’viloh looked up (and almost lost his balance again). “How late is it? I’m sure you have more important things to do than this! I’m sorry if I’m keeping you from doing your work.”

But Haurchefant just laughed and teased, “What could be more important than prove to you that not all of Coerthas is a deadly wasteland trying to kill you? But I think we really should return soon. I don’t want you to get cold again and after all we also don’t want Rael to find out about this little excursion, do we?”

For a second A’viloh wished the viera could see him now and wondered what their reaction would be like. The thought made him chuckle.

And as they floated, one last circle around the lake, A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder that maybe it was happy moments like this. The reason he was still here. Moments that made his life worth living.

---

inspired by the poem The Reversal by Leila Chatti