#this got more serious than i meant it to be :/ but he was diagnoses with bipolar so the psych think i have that. not sure abt that
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makedamnsvre · 9 months ago
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still it was sooooooo funny and uncomfortable at the psych appointment because she saw ? somewhere in papers/files that my mom and dad divorced in.... 2015 i think and shes all like "so.... usually divorce causes problems in children... how was that for you was it hard on you...?" acting all nervous/gentle like lmaooooo thats not even the worst part i dont think i cared about the divorce In Comparison to Everything Else. hed been abusive to my mom and generally neglectful not great to us (me and sibling) and theyd been separated for 6 years before the divorce because he kept going to jail for drug related things which he would often steal money from us for it and generally made my moms life hell by like manipulating and emotionally abusing her and hed have violent tantrums where he broke things (there are still holes in the walls and other damage in the house from him) and also sorta ruined our lives a bit and then in 2019 he was accused of some crime and he ran away to escape getting arrested or whatever and i think legally he is classified as a missing person and we dont even know if hes alive or not.
so like the divorce was whatever to me i guess.
#i think abt this sometimes and its just weird to me#like not the psych appointment that was just like 4 days ago. like the dad situation#its uncomfortable to think he might be dead and its also uncomfortable to think about what the hell hes doing if hes Out There#before id actually searched him up on the internet a few times within the past few years wondering if something was found out and i wasnt#told or something. seeing if maybe there was a police report or something or even an obituary or something. but there wasnt#this got more serious than i meant it to be :/ but he was diagnoses with bipolar so the psych think i have that. not sure abt that#but like i kinda want to talk about this or like tell people i know about it mostly bc i just feel like idk i feel like this is something.#like. i think it says things about me i feel like maybe this information would give people a more complete view of me in a way#i guess lawl but also i know its uncomfortable probably and im scared of that. the widespread hate of 'trauma dumping' makes me#feel like i cant tell people things that might be uncomfortable#oh and i guess something else about this is while obviously this has psychological effects but the effects feel more. not mild#but. interwoven. they dont seem as apparent or like they dont stand out as much. like i get more upset about the topic of outdoor cats#than i get upset about this. like for me this was just something that happened i guess. mostly bc i know that basically everyone#has some kind of issues with their parents. or at least most people i know lawl. me befriending people like#OMG youre also fatherless !? so twinning right now#or like other things like crappy parents or divorce or this or that.#but i think thats most people but also maybe i just have a skewed perception lol
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turtletaubwrites · 9 months ago
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Bend Until You Break ~ Part 1
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Thank you for this request from the lovely @anemptypuddingcup for a Yandere!Law that the Reader goes to for help with a serious health condition, only for Law to take a liking to her... I swear I will write sweet Law one of these days, but for now please enjoy Yandere!Law. This contains !!DARK CONTENT!! so please check the warnings, and skip this one if it may be triggering or uncomfortable for you. This one's for us hypermobile baddies out there. 🥄
Pairings: YANDERE!Trafalgar Law x Fem!Reader
Bend Until You Break ~ Masterlist
Word Count: 2679
Ao3 Link
Summary: You have struggled with mystery pains and injuries for most of your life, and had resigned yourself to suffer after every doctor told you there was nothing wrong. But when a world renowned doctor/pirate comes to town to offer aid in exchange for supplies, you decide to give hope one more chance. Maybe you'll finally find a doctor you can trust.
Rating/Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ ONLY, MDNI, AFAB!Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Reader-Insert, DARK CONTENT, DUBCON, Dubious Consent, Swearing, Eventual Smut, Yandere, Manipulation, Power Imbalance, Hypermobility, Medical Examination, Medical Trauma, Medical Conditions, Chronic Pain, Injury, Physical Disability, Physical Therapy, Doctor/Patient, Abuse of Authority, Kidnapping, Possessive Behavior, Other Additional Tags to be Added, (Reader is described as having hair "above her shoulders" that she can brush)
A/N: This chapter is SFW, but I'm adding in many tags to start out with since this mini series will contain heavy/dark content. PLEASE heed the tags, and do not read this fic if you aren't comfortable with these topics. Some of these medical issues may or may not have come from personal experience 🙃
Extra A/N: I am not a doctor, and this is not meant to be educational, or to contain any health advice. Please seek a health professional. Hopefully you'll have better luck than Reader 🙄
| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 |
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I should just leave. He’ll just tell me the same things. It’s a waste of time. 
You were close to convincing yourself to walk away, especially as the discomfort and pain of standing in one place for so long started radiating up your body. 
The line got shorter, and you stretched and bounced, trying to hang onto a sliver of hope.
“Hello, how’s your day going?”
A talking polar bear in an orange jumpsuit waved at you from behind a small table, handing you a clipboard. 
“I-I’m well thanks. How…”
“Good! It’s always nice when the captain can help people. He’s the best! Just fill that out, and he’ll be with you soon.”
Looking at the form brought you out of the shock of speaking to a bear. Instead, it filled you with intense frustration, until you were practically boiling in your skin.
‘Rate your pain from 1-10.’
How the fuck am I supposed to rate all the different types of pain I’m in on any given day?
‘Circle the parts of the body where you are experiencing pain.’
I could put circles over so many things. Might as well circle the whole fucking chart, and have them call me a liar.
‘List your diagnoses, and family medical history.’
I don’t have one, doctors never find anything. Mom has some similar symptoms, but they're so mild that she's never tried to get a diagnosis. You’re the one who’s supposed to figure this out!
You resisted the urge to vent your anger onto the page, bullshitting your way through instead. You tried to write in the most convincing way to get this new doctor to take you seriously. 
This new doctor. “The Surgeon of Death.” A fucking pirate. 
But he was supposed to be the best, and he was here on your shitty little island for a couple of weeks, trading medical treatment for the town's supplies. You had already heard reports of “miracles,” that he could perform surgeries in an instant, that he could fix anyone. 
Please fix me.
This was it. You couldn’t take anymore trying after this. Just trying to get a doctor to listen to or believe you was almost worse than the daily pain. Almost.
“Miss Y/N? The captain is ready for you now. My name is Bepo, by the way,” the bear grinned as he took the clipboard from your clammy hands. At least you hoped it was a grin.
He handed the form back to you as he led you through the dimly lit hallways of this strange submarine. It felt like you’d entered some other realm, an underworld, on your way to strike a deal with a demon. 
As long as he can fix me…
“Here you are,” Bepo motioned as he opened a large metal door. “You’re in great hands.”
Hands. 
Hands were the first things you noticed as you entered the examination room. 
Those hands were tensed over the back of a rolling chair, gripping the thin padding as if waiting for you so he could sit down. 
Long fingers mesmerized you, tattoos etched along the back of each hand. And as you stepped into the well lit room, you saw the word “death,” spelled out across both sets of those fingers. 
The sound of his throat clearing snapped your eyes to his, your skin flushing as you realized he’d been speaking to you. 
As you realized how fucking gorgeous he was. His black hair looked a bit mussed, but it only added to the effect, along with his goatee, and his dark, pretty eyes.
Already more useful than my other doctors. Easy on the eyes. 
“May I look at your form, miss?”
‘Oh, of course,'' you stuttered, thrusting the paper toward him. “I’m Y/N.”
“Dr. Trafalgar. You can take a seat.”
Well, his bedside manner seems pretty standard, you thought with a small sigh, sitting down on the familiar crinkly paper covering the exam table. 
He circled behind you to close the door, and what sounded like a lock clicking into place had your heart rate spiking. 
“Stand up, please,” he said firmly, your form still unseen in his hand. 
“Oh, sorry. I thought you said–”
“Walk to the corner, and sit back down, please.”
His voice was unreal. You would have jumped through hoops for him anyway, praying that any doctor would listen. 
But his command seemed to curl into your brain, and you followed it immediately. 
“Why are you favoring that hip?”
“Oh, it…” 
Here’s where your credibility would fall apart. Your nails dug into your palms as you willed him to believe you.
“Sometimes if I stand too quickly, it feels loose. Sometimes it pops, and is so painful that I can’t put any weight on it.”
He stared at you for a moment, and you fought not to recite a list of excuses, to try to explain why it hurts when you’d never been injured before. 
“And your right knee?”
“Oh, it’s not bad right now. It used to swell sometimes, and was really painful. But it’s not as bad as it used to be.”
“Did you sustain any injuries?”
“N-No. None that I can recall.”
His lips quirked a bit before he reviewed your chart.
Believe me. Believe me. Believe me.
“You’ve reported your shoulders as being your most pressing concern. Why is that?”
His eyes were almost painfully sharp as he scanned you, focusing on your face as you answered him. He’d sat backwards on the rolling chair, his arms folded across the back with his legs spread wide to either side.
“They’ve been acting up recently. They often feel… loose. That’s how it feels to me. Sometimes if I move a certain way it almost feels like they pop out of place. But I can still move them after, it’s just incredibly painful. And then it’s weak, and I can barely hold anything.”
“What are some of the activities that have caused this to happen?”
He was impossible to read. But you couldn’t lie. He wouldn’t be able to help you if you lied.
“Um, brushing my hair. Taking off a jacket. P-Putting a sports bra on.”
“Did you used to have longer hair?”
“What?”
“Do you keep your hair above your shoulders to prevent shoulder pain? Or does brushing it still cause issues at this length?”
“Oh. Yes, actually. I used to have much longer hair.”
“I imagine you’ve adjusted many aspects of your life to cope with this pain.” 
Warmth flowed into that deep voice, and you shivered as you watched him steeple his fingers against his lips for a moment. 
“If you are comfortable, I would like to run through a few simple movements to check your flexibility. Many of which you can do on your own, but I will check in again if you are comfortable with me touching you for the others. You can always let me know if you would like to stop.”
“Okay.”
The doctor dug through a drawer to pull out a clear measuring device, almost like two rulers connected at one end. He adjusted it, creating an angle before setting it aside. 
He never picked up the device again, and you fought not to shake. He looked at your elbows, your knees, your thumbs, your pinkies, frowning slightly as you followed his instructions.
“Now, please bend over, and try to touch your toes. Just go as far as you– hm.”
Your palms were flat on the ground, just as they’d always been able to go. You could even put the back of your hands down, and stretch them along the ground behind you if you wanted to. 
“Doctor?”
“You can take a seat.”
Wincing as you sat, you shook out your legs, feeling his eyes as he watched your every movement. 
He stood, towering over you as he came close.
“For this next part of the examination, I will be touching you with my hands, and in some cases leaning or holding parts of your body against mine so that I can check the range of motion in your joints. I may also massage certain tight muscles to help you relax as we move through the problem areas. You have quite the list for us to get through, but if at any time you wish for us to stop, just let me know. Do you understand?”
“I do,” you breathed, your face angled up to meet his.
“Do you consent to me touching you?”
His voice came out softer once again, and you couldn’t hold in a shiver as you consented.
Those fingers…
His long fingers were so gentle as they crept across your body, testing, pushing, pulling. You fought to listen to his commands, pushing against or holding your body how he told you. 
“I imagine that seeking treatment has been challenging for you,” he rasped as he leaned over your face, his fingers gently massaging your shoulders. 
The pain and pleasure of his hands testing you had brought up a strangely emotional pressure, almost like tears in your throat.
“It has.”
“I’m sorry, Y/N. It must be incredibly difficult to suffer so much pain, and not be believed.”
You started to nod to keep your voice from cracking, but he pressed his fingers into your skin just a bit.
“Can you keep still for me,” he whispered, and it sounded so close that you opened your eyes.
“Just relax,” the doctor soothed as he stepped away, pulling a few tissues out to press against your cheeks and temples, catching the tears that had spilled when you’d opened your burning eyes.
“I’m sorry, doc–”
“No need to be sorry, Y/N. You have been suffering, been living with pain for years. It’s all those doctors that left you like this that should feel ashamed.”
His fingers had returned to your body, still relaxing, and testing.
“Thank you, doctor.”
“Please, call me Law.”
He was pressing gently along your collarbones as his name rolled over you, a small sound escaping your throat as you melted beneath him. 
“Do you have a good support system? People in your life that can help you with this?”
“I mean, my mom and my boyfriend help me. They’re supportive.”
He took those fingers away, and you mourned them, wishing you could feel that soothing touch forever.
“I’m going to test your hips now, Y/N. Please tell me if you experience any pain.”
“Okay,” you agreed, feeling self conscious of your breathy voice. His words just kept pouring over you, his voice so relaxing, so good. 
“How does that feel, Y/N?”
“Fine.”
He had your leg stretched along his torso, your foot dangling over his shoulder. You clamped your eyes shut. The sight of him between your spread legs, pushing your leg toward you, had you biting your lip, trying not to make any more embarrassing noises. 
“How’s this?”
“Fine.”
He hadn’t gotten close to your limit, but he went agonizingly slow. You could feel his firm abs warming your thigh through your clothes, his thin shirt not doing much to keep the press of him at bay. 
“You said that your mom and your boyfriend support you. How do they do that?”
“Oh, uh,” you shook your head, trying to focus on the question, and not the gentle rocking motion he’d started as he pushed you even further.
“They help me when… They help me when I’m having bad days. They listen. They both do little different things when things are bad.”
“How’s this?”
“Still fine.”
“You can go further?”
“Yeah, I can–,” you had reached for your thigh, planning to pull it toward your chest to show him, but his eyes above you stopped you before his voice did. 
“I’ll get you there, Y/N. You can hurt yourself if you rush. Can you take it slow for me?”
“Perfect,” he praised when you nodded, still gently rocking your body forward and back as he pushed, finally reaching the limit. 
“That is quite the range of motion,” he noted, carefully laying that leg down to move to the other side. “May I?”
He set himself up again, moving slow as he used his body to stretch you.
“You said that they help you on bad days, is that right?”
Meeting his sharp eyes, you took a minute to understand.
“Yes, they do.”
His face tilted a bit as he pressed closer. He started that gentle rocking motion, almost thrusting against you to help your body relax. 
“But Y/N, from what I’ve seen today, it seems like all of your days are bad. Aren’t they?”
“I…”
“All these years with no one to believe you. It must be hard to believe yourself sometimes. Do you think they really believe you, Y/N? Do they believe how much pain you’re in as you struggle through each day? As you stand up too fast, or brush your hair? Do you think they understand?”
He’d pushed closer, looming over you as he held your thigh against him. 
“Why are you–”
“I need to make sure that my patients have the support systems they need.”
His voice had smoothed back now, from almost heated to cool and detached.
He’s the only person that’s ever seemed like they understand. He must believe me. Of course he would be passionate about it, he’s a doctor. A doctor that believes me.
Closer and closer, his eyes watching yours.
“Do they believe you?”
“I think,” you started, eyes wide as you fought more tears, “I think they try to believe me. They just… They don’t know what it’s like. They don’t understand.”
“How’s this?”
“It’s fine.”
“Alright, last push.”
Your thigh was pressed between your bodies, and he stayed there.
“Does this hurt, Y/N,” he rasped, his breath warming your face. 
“No.”
He helped you stretch your leg out on the table, sitting backwards in the rolling chair before he told you to sit up.
“I believe I understand the cause of your pain, and why you’ve had a difficult time obtaining a diagnosis.”
“Can you fix it?”
Your thrill of excitement got caught in your throat at the look in his eyes, his palm up to halt your questions. 
“I believe it may be a connective tissue disorder, which would explain your hypermobility, as well as the complications you’ve had with many parts of your body. You've already met the criteria for one type based on our examination today. I would like you to come back tomorrow so that we can review more of your symptoms to be sure, and to discuss treatments.”
“You can do surgery, right? Can you fix it?”
You had gestured to him, your body panicking with failing hope. A gasp left your throat as those tattooed fingers caught your hand, his thumb rubbing over your skin as his voice went low.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. This is not a condition that can be cured,” he confessed, squeezing your hand as your body slumped. “Connective tissues run throughout our entire body, and if I am correct, yours may be weaker than most. 'Loose,' as you said. Unfortunately, there is no known way to repair or replace those tissues.”
A weight fell over you, and you found yourself not quite in your body. Your body that you’d fought so hard to fix.
That can never be fixed.
The doctor pressed your hand between his, smoothing over and warming your fingers until you were present enough to meet his eyes.
“It may not be curable, Y/N, but it can be managed. You don’t need to suffer alone in such pain like you have been. I’ll do everything I can to ensure that things are better for you. Do you trust me?”
There was something so intense about his face. The way he looked at you felt heavy, like he really did see the weight you’d carried all these years. You sank into those gray eyes, and realized you did.
“I trust you, Doctor.”
“Please. Y/N,” he hummed, releasing your hand, “call me, Law.”
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Likes and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine✨ thank you so much!
a/n: Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Welcome to my frustration with the health care system 😅
Tag List: @shewrites02 | @jadeddangel
Part 2
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| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 |
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If Mike really loved El romantically, they wouldn’t have dragged out a weird plot of not being able to say ILY for two seasons. One season? Sure. I can let Season 3 slide somewhat if one discounts all the queer longing that takes place and the odd finale kiss. You could interpret S3 as an awkward kid building up the courage to say the L word.
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But two seasons? Nah. If the first interpretation were true, things would’ve been resolved when El confesses that she loves him back at the end of S3. But things were not resolved? And the show goes out of its way to emphasize that Mike isn’t even writing “I love you” in his letters? And they have a big, explosive fight about it… and he still can’t say it? Nah Michael, I diagnose you with homosexuality.
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“But saying I love you is scary and a big deal and yada yada…” Okay sure. Saying ILY is a big deal. But middle school kids still say it pretty casually. And they certainly at least write it. It’s not uncommon for a kid to drop the “L” bomb to someone they’ve only been dating for a short period of time, only to break up the next day. Things are fluid and chaotic and unpredictable and messy. In Romeo and Juliet, Romeo thought he was in love with Rosaline until seeing Juliet, and he immediately changed his mind.
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But even if we just assume it’s harder for Mike to say ILY to El because Mlvn is serious and more meaningful than a fleeting crush, that still doesn’t let Mike off the hook. If Mlvn really is as soulmate-coded as Mlievens believe, when have you ever heard of a soulmate-coded relationship in media where the writers went out of their way to show that saying ILY was like pulling teeth? Imagine if there was a whole section of Titanic where Jack struggled with saying ILY to Rose? Imagine Leia got into a fight with Han because he couldn’t write “love” in his romantic letters, and Han was all like, “I care for you so much, Leia.”Imagine Katara pulled out the receipts, and Aang was like, “Okay, okay. Katara, you’re being ridiculous. Like what is this?”
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That would be absurd. And you’d either demand an explanation or stop rooting for them. It’s not that ILY isn’t often a big deal in stories. It’s that when it’s emphasized in a weird way and dragged out for two seasons, you have to side-eye it. It’s one thing when the big ILY is the logical and natural culmination of an arc, whether at the end of a season or the end of a series. That makes sense. It’s another thing entirely when someone is literally begging you to say it, and you still can’t say it. And then when you finally do say it, it’s in the penultimate season, and it’s extremely anticlimactic. And everyone has to emphasize how you said it 9 times to cope/compensate.
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If Mlvn was meant to be endgame, and Mike really loved El romantically, they would’ve just… shown Mike and El being in love with each other. There wouldn’t be any doubt. None of the other couples, other than Stancy, have ever gone through this weird kind of ritual where words are emphasized over actions. No one doubts that Lumax, Jopper, and Duzie are in love with each other. Jancy is a little more complicated cause they were separated throughout S4 and doubts were raised, but even so, it’s nowhere near the odd situation with Milkvan. Jancy, Lumax, Jopper, and Duzie have all shown they love each other through their actions. They don’t rely on big gestures or words to prove it. In fact, Lucas even specifically says to Max, “I don’t want a letter.”
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All I’m saying is, if Mlvn is treated with a considerable lack of seriousness post Season 2, if the show keeps them in a weird Groundhog Day plot of constant fights and lies and not being on the same page, and if it takes a third party with vested romantic interest in the situation for Mike to finally monologue a measly ILY to his girlfriend, then maybe there’s a reason for this? 🤔
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concerningwolves · 1 year ago
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I've been walking around with this hypermobility diagnosis my entire life, and no medical professional ever told me definitively what it means. My parents can't remember specifically when I was diagnosed or who by – I was a severely premature baby with a rare disorder and a slew of other health issues, and the hypermobility got lost somewhere in there with all the other medical noise. Mostly, I was left to see hypermobility as something that made me super bendy and was fun to pull out at parties when I made all my fingers bend weirdly.
Everything I have been told about hypermobility came to me piecemeal, usually by happenstance. A nurse who said that the hypermobility explained why it was always difficult to draw my blood. A GP who mentioned that hypermobility was likely why my ankle hadn't broken, but had instead subluxated and then been left to heal incorrectly because it'd been misdiagnosed as a sprain. A rheumatologist who I was only seeing because of a colossal fuckup, who explained that hypermobility makes you far more prone to bruising. Everything else, I had to find out under my own steam, trawling websites repeatedly over the years and watching as the body of information grew.
When I went to my paediatrician with joint pain, she told me it was growing pains on multiple occasions. I've been to physiotherapy three times and multiple OTs when I was younger and none of them noticed that my knees' resting position was hyperextended. (It took 22 years and the aforementioned colossal fuckup that landed me back at rheumatology instead of seeing the chronic pain specialist nurse for someone to tell me that that wasn't normal.) PE teachers and gymnastics instructors made me feel lazy and inadequate and work-shy instead of thinking hey, this child has told us he's hypermobile, maybe we should pay attention to that. For a little while I got to use a portable slanted desk in middle school which was meant to make writing easier for me in lessons (it didn't). In high school I got to use an AlphaSmart – not because anyone listened when I explained that writing caused me serious hand pain, but because I was writing too slowly to keep up in lessons (and I was still told repeatedly by teachers that they were surprised I needed the AlphaSmart because my handwriting was so neat, as if that had anything to do with anything). It wasn't until my GCSEs that I first got serious accommodations in exams.
Did all those doctors I saw about my pain just think I was, I don't know, too young to be sick? I was born sick. It was there in my records! They knew, and they either decided I was some other speciality's problem or they straight up did not care.
Children can be ill and disabled. More than that, they deserve to be given all the information they might need and be offered necessary accommodations. They should be listened to! Parents shouldn't have to fight and claw for something as simple as a crappy plastic slanted desk. If I could trawl my brain to extract everything I'm feeling right now and inject it into the minds of every doctor who failed me, I would.
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liaromancewriter · 1 year ago
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What Could Have Been (4/?)
Series Premise: When Ethan breaks his promise, Cassie is forced to accept they’re not inevitable after all.
Book: Open Heart Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Cassie Valentine) Rating/Category: Teen. Angst Words: 1,195
Series Masterlist
Chapter 4: New Normal. Old Habits. Time to accept the reset and explore new possibilities.
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Whenever Cassie Valentine had imagined her life as a doctor, it invariably involved her medical hero, Ethan Ramsey. Back then, she had only known his words and thoughts on diagnostics.
She had come to Edenbrook to learn from him and hopefully impress him enough that he’d agree to mentor her. Falling in love with him hadn’t been part of her plan.
Their relationship hadn’t been the plan, and yet they were inevitable. Or so she had believed once upon a time.
Nothing lasts forever, she reminded herself as she got dressed for work. She would always carry a version of him in her heart, one she didn’t have but couldn’t lose.
Despite the awkwardness of the last few weeks, their relationship had begun to… normalize. They were professionals, after all, and loved the work. When it came to the Diagnostics Team, Cassie was already learning so much.
Their latest case involving Lamar Stevenson was the perfect example. It would have never occurred to her to conduct a home visit to diagnose an illness. But the systematic way Ethan walked her through the process opened her eyes.
For a while, she forgot that they were no longer together as a couple. Once they were away from the hospital, the easy banter returned, and so did the light teasing she could never resist with him. Ethan could be too serious, but never with her.
“If I lived here, I would lose my mind,” she said dramatically, gazing at the placid bay.
The beach house didn’t even have the melodrama of angry waves crashing against the rocks. What exactly did people do with so much quiet?
“What about this would make you go insane?” Ethan asked in surprise, clearly not expecting her answer.
“Are you kidding?” She shook her head and spread her arms to encompass the scene. “It’s way too boring! I need to live in the middle of the action.”
“One would think you already get plenty of action,” Ethan grinned, his expression more relaxed than she’d seen in a while.
When Cassie raised one eyebrow, his face flushed, and he stumbled over his words. “I meant your casework. Get your mind out of the gutter.”
“Too late,” she almost quipped but suddenly remembered who they were, or weren’t rather, and swallowed her words.
When she almost fell off the chair while reaching for the photo album from the top of the armoire, she never doubted Ethan would catch her. But she hadn’t been prepared for the scent of his cologne and that feeling of rightness as he held her in his arms.
They stared at each other, blue eyes clashing with green, both reluctant to let go. Following instinct, she leaned closer, and he did the same, their foreheads almost touching.
This is how it could’ve been, Cassie thought wistfully. But it wasn’t; she was only torturing herself and him by letting the moment linger.
That was yesterday. Today, it was back to being Dr. Valentine and Dr. Ramsey.
Cassie exited the subway station with Sienna, half-listening to her friend talk about her intern Mitch. Her mind was jumbled with her dream of Ethan last night and Lamar’s worsening condition.
As they neared the hospital’s entrance, Sienna nudged her shoulder forcefully. Cassie glanced at her friend and realized someone was standing before them, blocking their way.
Nate Hanson looked just as good as she remembered. They had gone on one date six months ago but had flirted plenty over text. Conflicting schedules kept getting in the way of their second date.
And then things between her and Ethan changed after Miami. There wasn’t room for anyone else in her heart after that.
“Nate? What are you doing here?” she asked, wondering if she missed a message from Max that his friend was coming to Boston.
“Board meeting,” he said, smiling in a sincere way that was part of his charm. “My company concluded the research project with the hospital, so I’m presenting final recommendations to the board.”
Nate looked askance at Sienna, who was watching him with curiosity. Cassie quickly made the introductions.
“It’s good to see you, Cassie,” Nate said, the appreciative look in his hazel eyes boosting her self-confidence. “Is it too much to hope you’re still single?”
“She’s definitely single,” Sienna grinned cheekily.
Nate laughed, and Cassie threw her friend a disgruntled look. Unrepentant, Sienna waved it away and slid a lascivious sideways look at Nate.
His phone pinged, and he checked the screen. “Shoot. I have to head upstairs.”
He moved closer, and Cassie tilted her head back to gaze into his eyes.
“Can I please take you to dinner tonight? Our previous efforts at scheduling didn’t work, so let’s be spontaneous,” he added when Cassie looked doubtful.
“I get off at six,” Cassie relented.
“Great! I’ll pick you up at seven from your apartment. If that works?” Nate said.
“Seven is perfect,” Sienna piped in.
He smiled and winked conspiratorially at Sienna, making Cassie huff in exasperation.
“Don’t you want to know where I live?” Cassie called out as he started to walk away.
“I’m a hotshot CEO. I’ll find out,” Nate shot back cockily over his shoulder.
Suddenly, he turned around as if pulled by a string and slowly walked back toward her, looking abashed.
“Sorry. I was trying to be cool,” Nate said, nervously running one hand through his hair. “I have no idea where you live and, short of asking your brother, no way of finding out in a way that would be considered legal.”
“Give me your phone,” Cassie ordered, rolling her eyes but secretly amused too.
Later that day, Cassie sipped the coffee Alan Ramsey had bought her as thanks and absently reflected on her upcoming date.
But her mind kept drifting to Ethan and his vulnerability, barely there before his mask descended when his mother was mentioned. So much of his life was a closed book and always would be, she thought morosely.
Meeting his father, knowing Ethan had mentioned her to him, had been the highlight of her afternoon. And for another brief moment, back at the coffee shop, they’d forgotten about the reset.
She hated seeing Ethan upset and reached across the table to press her hand to his. He didn’t resist. Instead, he gently stroked hers with his thumb. The gesture was so loving and familiar tears pricked her eyes.
“I’m here for you,” she whispered, feeling his anger and pain.
Cassie wanted to wrap her arms around him, for him to be hers again so that she could comfort him in a way not allowed between colleagues. But the spell broke with his next words.
“I mean it, Cassie. This means nothing,” he said definitively. “I don’t even know why my father came all the way here to tell me.”
It was sobering to realize the man she loved could be so heartless. If he was willing to easily cut his mother off and call her a stranger, what chance did Cassie have that he’d eventually let her back into his life?
Despite his gentle touch, Ethan could be harsh and unforgiving. And she would do well to remember that.
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smoft-demons · 8 months ago
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MC ask game random answers
Link to OG post! Feel free to ask me to answer other questions, from the OG post or otherwise!
(I am answering the questions about Auva, my obey me MC. She is a 20 year old human. Aroace. Loves her seven weirdos so damn much. Aaaaand that about sums her up lol)
Question 2: Do they have a nickname?
Yes, she’s got a whole collection of nicknames! Each of the seven bros call her something different. I guess it’s more accurate to call them pet names rather than nicknames, but what’s really the difference lol
“The baby” is a common one, from Mammon and Beel usually but the others all use this one too every so often. Mostly to make fun of her, but she doesn’t mind. Like they’ll ask each other “where’s the baby” referring to her, and “how could you say that to the baby?!” Etc etc lol
- Mammon is the main one with the “baby” allegations, though “gremlin” and “nerd” and “dummy” and “loser” are all also pretty common from him. All affectionate! She has been diagnosed with baby, he insists. “Human” is the other very common one, that might as well be her name to him. Mammon only uses her name in particularly serious or soft situations.
- Levi’s not exactly big on the nicknames, but he does refer to her as his player two and his Henry very often.
- Beel usually uses her name, but pre-belphie jailbreak he would occasionally call her “bug”. Sometimes, it’s “little bug”. When questioned, Beel just kinda shrugged and said “I like bugs. And I like you. Both are small.” and that was that, apparently. (The way they all talk about her, you’d think she’s so short, but no. She’s 5’7”. It’s just that they’re all taller than her. And older. And she doesn’t mind being babied in this particular way, so she doesn’t bother to stop them.) Post-jailbreak, Beel adopted Belphie’s nickname for her, and started using that one slightly more often than bug.
- Asmo uses nicknames for everyone, and he’s got a whole roster. He uses “hon” and “sweetie” and “darling” and such like punctuation. He really seems to mean it when he’s talking to Auva, though. “Lovely” is one that seems to be just for her.
- Satan aligns with Beel on the frequency of nickname use, so usually just uses her name. If he does call her something else, then it’s “love” or “darling”. He likes the classics.
- Belphie uses her real name more than Mammon and Asmo do, but less than Beel and Satan—and DEFINITELY less than Levi and Lucifer. He calls her mouse, or sometimes mousie. It comes from that period of time a handful of weeks post-jailbreak (and homicide/revival/time travel situation) when Auva was still afraid of him but working hard on trying not to be, because she was sick of it. She had come up with and executed a self-assigned exposure therapy/desensitization plan. She would approach Belphie, shaking like a leaf but still determined, and gradually get closer, more comfortable. He would respond to that with understanding and gratitude, carefully remaining chill and gentle and reassuring. “Brave little mouse”, he commented, when she first got to the point of being comfortable enough to hug him. Intending it to express his understanding of how scary this is, how much stronger than her he knows he is, how threatening he knows that must be, how awed and grateful he is at her determination to be his friend anyway. They think very similarly, so she understood what he meant. Took it as the praise it was meant to be. Brave little mouse indeed.
- The nickname stuck. She is Mouse, to Belphie. Beel adopted that nickname for her too, because he thinks it’s fitting and cute.
- Lucifer is about as big on nicknames as Levi is. Which is to say, not at all. Still, though, very sparingly he’ll drop one. “Little one”, usually. Or “my dear” or “little star”, because Auva is named after a star. It’s in Virgo. (I did that because MY name, Adhara, is also a star! It’s in Canis Major) Belphie occasionally steals that nickname from Lucifer, too. It’s one of the only things he’ll admit to agreeing with him about lol
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bhaalitsm · 2 years ago
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⠂⠀⠀⠀Hero show 醒めないでよ DOKIDOKI 抱きしめて oki doki 視線は heart Hit する sing a song LA LA LA love⠀⠀⠀ ⠂
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⭒ .⠀Klan Children of Bhaal⠀⠀ㅤㅤ⟢ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤshe/he/thou ⠀ㅤ⏖⠀ㅤ20. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀BPD ﹒ DID ﹒ AUT
⠂⠀⠀⠀Hibikaseru izure sumikko no innen o subete Hazama nureru hodo ni imi o koboshite tsutaeta Nokori tamae...sono "shimi" ⠀⠀⠀ ⠂
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══╬  Hi! You can call me Dikke or Di, please don't use plural terms unless prompted, I prefer to see myself as a person with DID rather than just as a system. My disorders are influential but I don't want them to define me ─ I am only interested in interacting with 17+ people who are not chronically online, if the discourse can't exist in the real world I really don't want to hear about it . . . my system is very persecutor heavy, introjects are not their sources, etc etc etc. I am an OA cult survivor so tag content around that for me if we're muts!   🌾    ) I have a lot of interests, some of them being : anything horror related, dead by daylight, attack on titan, attack on time, uma musume pretty derby, fear and hunger, atarashii gakko, baldurs gate, skylanders, hotd/got, the boys, idv, coryxkenshin, reverse 1999, brain rot mascot horror, dandys world, cod, figure collecting, until dawn, mouthwashing, and more obviously 𓂃🚬 I kin Brian and Stewie Griffin and I'm kinda like if Charlie from smiling friends was mentally unwell, my friends describe me as "a frat boy if he was a lesbian." I'm also a wasian jew and do talk abt sinophobia in online western spaces sometimes so erm
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⠀⠀⠀⠀ꕀ some frequent frontiers of mine are ; 🍾 Avery, me, the host ︵ she/him Levi, the addicted one, trauma holder ︵ he/him Emil, the dogist boy, trauma holder ︵ he/wag Acunín, 11 year old elf, prpr ︵ he/thon Merithe, my nicest alter, cohost ︵ she/hx Homelander, exactly how he sounds, trauma holder ︵ he/him ᛝ🧺 I am diagnosed, my alter count is around 11. I'm not here to debate syscourse I'm more interested in making sure misinfo for CDDs isn't spread- yes, this includes the 'I'm 12 and have 1400 distinct alters and also have hcdid' this isn't meant to be mean, I support self diagnosis but some of the claims I see, mostly said by minors who aren't very educated in the disorder they claim confidently to have bother the hell out of me, like just don't include the disordered part PLEASE if you parrot antisemitic conspiracy theories as opposed to using updated terminology like OA just don't interact with me, I'm a cult survivor and I'm not gonna surround myself with peoples who's main source of info is satanic panic.
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𐏐With the serious stuff out of the way, here's some more abt me! My flags are below (ask if you don't recognize any) as well as some user boxes that are silly I also occasionally reblog terms/flags I identify with check #⚢ My IDS
If you made it down here let's be friends! I need to interact with more adults w DID/OSDD etc ♡⃕ ⠀⠀⠀  🧟‍♂️    ) I do NOT have a DNI, if anything makes me uncomfortable I will just block and move on like a regular person <3
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my-castles-crumbling · 6 months ago
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hiya cas! i hope youre well 😊
so, i have some medical issues (nothing serious!! probably - im still waiting for a proper diagnosis but ive had a few appointments and tests etc and have been assured its nothing to be concerned about) and so i obviously have to go to hospital appointments sometimes for the aforementioned tests and discussions. it was scary at first (i hadnt been in a hospital since the day i was born up until this point, and i was 18 when i had my first of these appointments) but its easier now, but im still a little stressed
im not technically estranged from my family - i still live at home with both parents, and we're on decent enough terms - but we dont really have any sort of important conversations. or any personal conversations either. so i guess we're just not really close? idk. anyway, this has meant i have absolutely no idea what any of my family medical history is. i had to find out through my older sister that my father was diagnosed with diabetes four years ago (and she only found out because she worked at the pharmacy where he got his stuff from), and my eldest brother was the one who told me my grandparents' causes of death (they died before my birth and my parents never mention them), but they dont know any more than that either
this hasnt been an issue for me before, because obviously ive never needed to know. ive never been asked about it, but now that my own health isnt right, i kinda need to know. in my first appointment i got asked about it, but i told the doctor i didnt know and would ask at home
i did ask, to be fair. i spoke to my mother and explained why i needed to know but she just kind of... brushed it off? idk if thats the right way to phrase it. she said there was some vague thing about heart issues but she didnt say anything specifically, or which side of the family it came from, or anything all thay helpful at all
its so frustrating because im not the first of their kids to need this information. my sister has medical problems too (different issues than mine though) and our parents were no help with her either
i spoke to a friend about it last autumn when i first went to hospital and he looked at me so oddly, it made me feel so broken, i guess. apparently discussing medical history isnt a taboo subject in most households, because he knew all of his and he's never been to hospital for anything. but the way he looked at me like i was weird or something for not knowing was awful. again, it made me feel genuinely broken and damaged. it was kind of one of those moments where you realise 'oh, my family isnt normal' and it sucked, because i thought id had that realisation years ago
its happened with some other stuff too (i.e. telling parents about a relationship, friends, interests, spending time with family etc) and it just... it really sucks. i dont know what else there is to say than that ig lol
i was going somewhere with this ask, but ive kinda gotten off track and now i cant remember, soooo.... have a good day! thanks for reading my ramble 🥰
Hi hon!
I’m so sorry, whose moments of realization suck, truly. Please know that you did nothing wrong <3 
Because this is a health thing, I do have some advice for you (ignore me if you want!) There are forms on the internet that have questions about family history. Print one out and just give it to your mom and dad. Don’t give them room to question it. Say your doctor needs it, and you need them to fill it out.
I wonder, though, if your parents don’t share their history with you, they might not know their parents history. A lot of times, these kinds of things that happen in families are passed down. 
But yeah. Just give them a form and make it a health thing. You deserve that info. 
Again, please know that you are NOT broken, and it has nothing to do with you <3
(naming you medical anon)
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pruengs · 1 year ago
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a symptom of being human - master post
a symptom of being human is my humanverse gerame & pruk hetalia au. i am hoping to write a cohesive story about it one day but for now i'm compiling this information here (taken from discord & my google doc) for you to look at. i'll link to the other posts here.
all posts of this au will be tagged as #asobh.
general info.
it's set in germany. arthur meant to study abroad for two semesters, but ran into gilbert because they studied the same thing (art history) and then never left. alfred wanted to escape the unites states and went to germany as an au pair, which is where he met ludwig.
arthur and gil are 4 years older than lud and al.
ludwig has autism.
alfred & gilbert are trans.
arthur speaks fluent german, alfred is learning german but is having a much harder time learning it than arthur.
alfred and matthew are still twins, but matthew lives with his father in canada, while alfred lived with his mother in the united states. they still talk generally.
the next paragraph is technically also general info but it needs to be expanded so it gets its own bullet point list here.
gilbert and his thing with death.
terminal illness! discussion of death and dying!
gilbert has an unspecified illness that is going to kill him before he's 30. i haven't decided on what yet, but it's a degenerative disease that he was born with, and it got diagnosed when he was a young child, and he has been raised with the knowledge that he won't make it past 30.
UPDATE: gilbert has hermansky-pudlak syndrome type 1, an extremely rare autosomal disorder, that causes albinism, bleeding diathesis, immunodeficiency, and pulmonary fibrosis.
he has a life expectancy of around 30, and has been raised with that knowledge. he's well aware he's going to die.
so is ludwig, of course, but it's still hard on everyone. ludwig cannot cope with the concept well, because he cannot fully grasp it.
gilbert's mortality especially becomes an issue once the relationship between arthur and gilbert becomes serious.
because gilbert didn't talk about it when they got together, because he assumed they wouldn't stay together long enough anyway, and then suddenly arthur is proposing to him and gilbert realizes this is a conversation they have to have immediately, 'cause he will not marry him under false pretenses.
gilbert is pretty optimistic despite the dying thing, usually. he planned his own funeral because he's pragmatic like that. his testament is written and he jokes about it constantly, he doesn't care because he never knew anything else. but of course even he has his limits and gets very, very upset about it sometimes.
when it comes to leaving his family behind, or even more personal things.
like settling down or starting a family he has difficulties dealing with it. because he's good with kids, maybe would even like some, but he knows it's not really feasible. he wouldn't live long enough to see them growing up, and he couldn't put the stress on arthur on raising children alone, and he couldn't put the stress on the children either. to lose a parent. adopting isn't an option because of that, and biological kids even less so because he would be too scared of passing his illness on. and he is really struggling with it, because it's something he always wanted.
the only person gilbert really talks about his issues with is his father. gilbert can't possibly imagine how hard it must be for him to know he's going to lose his son, but he talks things through with him a lot and in the end they both feel better, especially because gilbert sometimes just needs to rant.
that and his therapist. because you bet your ass germania put this kid in therapy the moment that diagnosis came.
links.
the german family. german family part 2.
pruk.
germerica.
bad friends trio.
roderich.
misc.
fic: baby, pull me closer. [prueng, explicit]
[will be updated with other links, like arts or fic.]
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sprouseandall · 4 months ago
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𝒀𝒆𝒉 𝑫𝒐𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒚𝒂𝒏 𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕
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sʏɴᴏᴘsɪs: Inspired by the song with the same name and the movie Five Feet Apart.
Set in 2019. It is the story of a young Indian girl named Asher who had a dream of becoming a singer since the age of twelve when she wrote her first song along. Her world was turned upside down when she got diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis (CF), a lung disease. Making her live on borrowed air, through oxygen cylinder with pipe throwing air inside her lungs and the day she gave up on her dreams she even gave up on her hope and life.
She was 17, when on a regular weekend she caught the eye of Cole Sprouse as she played guitar alongside her friends in the central park of New York.
It started off as friendship but eventually love found its way into Asher's heart despite her efforts. She tries to distance him away thinking she was saving him from a heartbreak by breaking her own heart. She thought she was being brave soldier as she stood alone in this battle when inside of her, she was scared but the almighty had sent someone for her to hold onto. He wouldn't leave her no matter how hard she try because he's meant to love her. No matter what.
𝐒𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬?
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A/N: It's really special story to me as for first time I put myself into the shoes of the female protagonist. As an acting student it is really important to feel and become that person and respect and appreciate them so that's what l'm gonna do. It's gonna be challenging but worth it to write and I can't wait to see how the story goes but I can assure you that it's going to be a emotional roller coaster and this new story is my way of giving the characters their happy ending or as I say "happy beginning".
I recently watched "Five Feet Apart"... again and it is movie that hits me in my core and make me cry more than Stella as the movie reaches its climax. Also I got inspired by a Hindi song "Yeh Dooriyan" which means "These Distances" I'm a Indian for those who don't know so I understand that depth in the song and two nights ago I got this storyline stuck in my head.
I'm really excited and nervous, l'm doing a lot of research on the disease to make the story as accurate as possible but still if there's a mistake then I'm sorry in advance, I'll try to write as detailed as possible but since l'm not a professional writer go easy on me and at the same time feel free to reach out to make suggestions and recommendations. My DMs are also open forever 💗
On a serious note, I wanna show my respect to all those people who deal with serious diseases like CF and all of other sorts. It's not easy and if you're moving forward everyday with it, YOU ARE BRAVE. And I'm SO PROUD of you guys! I'm always there.
I'll be updating my new story every weekend as college as officially started. So the story isn't just mine anymore, it's ours.
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Catch early updates on Wattpad
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Prologue (posted on July 23rd, 2024)
Chapter 1 (posted on July 23rd, 2024)
Chapter 2 (26/7) (published on Wattpad)
Chapter 3 (29/7)
Chapter 4 (01/8)
Chapter 5 (04/8)
Chapter 6 (08/8)
Chapter 7 (12/8)
Chapter 8 (15/8)
Chapter 9 (TBD)
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licorishh · 6 months ago
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I would like to share something a little more serious than what I usually post here.
So for the last two years, ever since I got diagnosed with celiac disease, it's been nothing but a barrage of more and more health issues showing up. I figured out I likely had ADHD and autism, I got diagnosed about eight months ago with hypothyroidism and Hashimoto's, I still don't know what's causing my chronic shoulder pain, for a few months almost everything I was eating was making me sick and I y'know twice in the span of one month, I'm dangerously underweight because I've barely been able to eat anything, and I have tons of food restrictions that make it extremely difficult to find something to eat. I felt miserable.
The last time I was sick was a week ago. I was nauseous two days in a row and was sick the second day. I felt awful, but afterwards the feeling went away, thankfully. The problem was that it suddenly out of nowhere set in a terror of feeling sick, feeling nauseous, and even just eating. The idea of eating scared me. I immediately felt a phobia of it, and Friday I wasn't even feeling bad but I had an episode of my heart racing and feeling really shaky and faint.
While I was feeling that, I knew it was literally just fear. I wasn't actually nauseous at all, but I was sitting there perpetuating a fear of feeling bad, and it was giving me all the symptoms of feeling sick without actually being nauseous. I was making myself feel bad because I was so terrified of feeling bad.
So I sat on the couch in the living room and read Revelation for a while. I eventually asked my mom just to pray for me and to help me get past this fear, because I am not meant to have a spirit of fear. She prayed for me, and then we just started chit-chatting about Revelation and about the Lord and when I tell you I felt so much better.
Since then I've had a couple of times when I started to really freak out just because I felt the slightest twinge, but for the last week I've had a monumental shift in my mindset. The Lord has not given me a spirit of fear, and neither has He given that to you.
I feel like in the last few days I've finally understood what it means to be truly thankful for Jesus and not just for the material things I have in this life. Yes, food, A/C, a roof over my head, electricity, and water are all wonderful things and I'm extremely thankful for them, but now I finally realize how it feels to be thankful for peace and hope and joy and Jesus. I cannot even begin to express to you how unfathomably comforted I have felt these last few days. I'm bout to frickin cry rn yet again dadgumit I've cried like eight times in the last couple days
I've been listening to a lot of Kari Jobe's music cause she has so much good stuff, especially "I Am Not Alone." I absolutely love that one and would highly recommend it if you're feeling lonely or fearful right now.
You probably think I'm overreacting a bit, but I was legitimately terrified. But in spite of that, I've been readjusting my mindset and praying more than I ever have before and just existing with God and I literally can't possibly communicate how comforting it is. There are simply no words. No matter what time of day it is, no matter how bad I feel, no matter how afraid I might be to eat that particular thing for fear of it not sitting well, I really legitimately feel more strongly than I ever have in my entire life that He is with me every single step of the way and He loves and treasures and values me and is holding me in His hand.
I so desperately want every single person on this earth to experience that feeling. It's a feeling you cannot begin to imagine until you've experienced it. The goodness and the kindness and the peace of the Lord is unmatched by anything on this earth.
I know this is way more serious than what I usually post but I just can't not. I have never felt this peaceful or joyful or thankful or hopeful in the seventeen years I've been alive and that is something nothing can ever take away from me. It's my sincerest hope that you will see this and hear it and believe it.
I'm not naturally a very fearful person, so this took me by surprise. I'm not used to feeling terror. It feels dark, hopeless, lonely. But that darkness, that hopelessness, that loneliness, and that fear is nothing in the face of the Lord's goodness. Nothing. I'm telling you.
Please, please, if you are in a dark place right now, I am begging you to take my word for it. If you call out to Him He is there. I've never been more convinced of this in my life because I finally have seen it. I finally stopped saying "Yep, yeah, uh-huh, that's great" and actually did it myself.
That doesn't mean all our struggles and trials automatically vanish. I still slip up and feel scared sometimes, but to be honest with you, feeling emotionally stable and spiritually satisfied is so much more important than feeling nauseous or being wary of eating. The peace and joy and faith and hope I have right now is greater than feeling good physically.
The Lord is so, so, so good. He is so kind, so loving, so comforting, and I so badly want everyone to be able to feel how I feel now.
He sees you in the midst of your struggles. He does. His heart aches for you, He weeps with you, He adores you in ways you cannot begin to imagine. You are His precious child, His beautiful creation, the love of His life.
Please, please believe me.
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alj4890 · 2 years ago
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On the Run
(Tobias Carrick x F!MC) I'm a Choices Open Heart Drabble for Day 6 of Tobias Appreciation Week
A/N Just a short drabble of Chris seeing what kind of doctor Tobias is once he's at Edenbrook.
Rating: G for fluff.
@tobias-carrick-appreciation-week @jerzwriter @hopelessromantic1352 @choicesficwriterscreations @twinkleallnight
Masterlist
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It took a while, but soon there were certain sounds that Dr. Chris Valentine became familiar with over the course of a few months. The soft whirring noise of the robots Leland Bloom had on every floor to help the nurses became the norm as Chris went from one patient's room to the next. Laughter from the children's ward each time Sienna and Rafael were working there. And of course the sounds of a particular doctor running down the hallway no longer made her heart pound in fear.
Tobias Carrick had a way of making everything exciting for Chris. His method of jogging through the hallway was meant to keep the interns on their toes. It reminded them that time was something most patients didn't have.
"Plus," he told her late one night, "it gives you a chance to admire the man you plan on marrying."
Chris did indeed take the time to pause and watch him in action. As much as she loved seeing how his mind worked in diagnosing the difficult, often undetectable maladies, watching his body get from point A to point B to allow that brilliant brain of his a chance to shine was almost as equally impressive.
She knew it wasn't a serious emergency when he flashed his smile her way. If he didn't or if he called her name as he ran past, she knew she needed to run after him to help out with whatever crisis was developing.
Once tensions between him and Ethan eased some more, Chris would often see the two make an impressive team as they ran from the diagnostic office to a ward their latest patient had been placed in.
One day at lunch, Chris asked Aurora about if he'd been that way at Mass Kenmore.
Aurora rolled her eyes. "You mean the running? Yeah, he did it all the time. Me and a few other interns had to huff and puff our way into most rooms, just to be in time to review cases."
"How was he as a mentor?" Chris asked.
"What do you mean?"
"We both were critiqued by Inez, Zaid, and Ethan. Those three couldn't be more different. What is Tobias like?"
Aurora set her fork down as she considered that. "I wouldn't say he is as sweet as Inez, but he also wasn't glaring at you either like Zaid. He isn't insulting like how Ethan could get. In fact, he basically uses his bedside manner with his interns."
"So he's a charming, funny mentor?" Chris asked.
"Pretty much." Aurora focused once more on her lunch. "He has no problem taking the time to guide an intern toward the correct conclusions for diagnoses and treatments."
Chris assumed as much. Most doctors went to Tobias with a question more so than they did Ethan. He was simply more approachable.
****************
Later that evening in the diagnostics office...
"Hey." Chris leaned down behind Tobias to wrap her arms around his shoulders.
She pressed a kiss to his cheek.
"Hey." He leaned back to meet her lips in a quick kiss. "You finished for the night?"
"I am." She rested her chin on his shoulder. "You?"
"Not quite." He gestured toward the laptop in front of him. "I've got a few things I need to show Ethan before I head home."
"You want me to wait?"
"No." He patted her arms still draped over him. "I'm not sure how long this will take."
"What are you working on?" Chris narrowed her eyes at the screen.
"I'm doing like you insisted."
She read a few of the convoluted lines. A delighted smile bloomed in the process.
"You're finally writing about your finding a cure to the maitotoxin!" She squeezed him in a hug.
"Why do you sound more excited about this than when I proposed?" Tobias teased.
Chris laughed as she pulled a chair up beside his. "Because you'll finally be getting the recognition you deserve!"
He shook his head. "I'm not doing it for that. I'm doing it to share the process of how I formulated the cure in case that helps some other doctor down the road figure out a way to find one for another toxin that doesn't have one."
"Which is how all doctor's takes should be when getting published."
He scoffed, fighting a grin over her compliments.
She propped her chin on her hand while watching him begin to type once more.
"Not that I mind being stared at, especially by you." He winked at her. "But you are very distracting."
"When do I get to read it?" Chris asked.
"You want to?" His smile dimmed. "I thought after going through it, you'd probably want to forget about it as much as you can."
"Of course I want to read not only what my hero did but also proudly show everyone I find what my soon to be husband wrote!" She snorted. "Just try and stop me."
His hand found hers as he took a deep breath.
"I'm not going to lie, Chris. This has been the hardest thing I've ever had to write."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm having to write this in a cold, clinical, completely detached fashion." His fingers laced with hers. "We both know that wasn't the case."
Chris lifted their clasped hands to press a lingering kiss upon his knuckles.
"I know." She said softly.
His eyes traced over her face. He could still remember the immense panic he felt when he found out what happened to her. Since they'd been keeping their relationship a secret at the time, he wasn't able to break down or curse with each failure. He couldn't tell the other doctors that she was the love of his life and he couldn't face the future without her.
He'd had to stay focused, not think too much about the precious minutes ticking by, and start once more on an antidote.
Writing it brought back every single torturous second of that day.
"Since Ethan's had more experience than I have with being published, he's been helping me with the mechanics and such."
"Good." Chris got to her feet. "Then I'll leave you alone so that you can get some work done."
A startled laugh escaped her lips when he yanked her down in his lap for a kiss.
What was meant to be a playful kiss goodbye changed the moment Tobias gently cupped her face.
Chris sighed into the tender, sweet way his lips moved over hers. It reminded her of the kiss he'd given her the moment he could enter quarantine safely.
Tobias pressed his forehead against hers. His eyes were closed as he simply soaked in the warmth and vitality of her soft body. He needed that reminder now that he was at the part of going in depth with the symptoms of the maitotoxin and their effects on the human body.
Chris remained in his lap, knowing he needed her to be quiet as he dealt with being haunted once more from that horrific time in their lives.
He opened his eyes and met her steady gaze.
"Am I interrupting?" Ethan asked from the doorway.
"Not at all." Tobias kissed her cheek then released her from his hold. "Chris was just telling me she was on her way home."
"Ah." Ethan "Then I'll see you in the morning, Chris."
"Don't work too long." She ordered them both.
"No promises." Tobias replied.
She placed her hands on her hips. Her eyes narrowed as she stared them both down.
"Geez." Ethan laughed, nudging Tobias with his elbow. "I've never been more happy not to be you."
"You know I won't stay long." Tobias reminded her.
"Better not." She warned.
Chris motioned subtly for Ethan to step out in the hallway.
"Hang on a minute, Chris." Ethan called out when he realized she didn't want Tobias to know. "I need to ask your opinion about Jennifer Stanley's red blood cell count."
He told Tobias he'd be right back, as he followed her out the door.
Chris glanced back at the office then smiled at Ethan. "Thank you for this."
"For what?"
"For helping him write this. I know he wouldn't do it with just anyone, so thank you for encouraging him." She replied.
Ethan rubbed the back of his neck. "It's nothing. It isn't like I'm doing much other than helping occasionally with the wording."
She knew he didn't see it and Tobias probably didn't either. But she believed that their working on this after hours would help them rebuild the friendship they'd both once enjoyed.
"I know, but still. Thank you, Ethan." She said, waving goodbye. "I'll see you tomorrow."
He watched her disappear through the hallway's double doors, a slight smile on his face, then went back into the office to get back to work.
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khaleesiofalicante · 2 years ago
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Hey Dani! I'm so sorry you are sick, being sick sucks. I hope you drink a lot of water, eat and get lots and lots of sleep. That's the best thing about being sick. I got diagnosed with covid yesterday so I feel you. Sending you lots of strength and hugs🥰
Okay I was rereading some TLND Mavid chapters today because I need fluffy Mavid and TLND is my personal favourite Mavid fanfic (I love the others too but TLND was the first story of them I read and I feel like I am allowed to love them a tad more).
First of all, I missed that little gem here because I didn't know Jackson when I first read it and when I realized I kid you not I chocked on my water
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Jackson throwing shade at Max will never not be funny. I love their relationship and I miss their interactions they are always top comedy😂 I miss Mina too though, if she was in Max's life in IALS I feel like everything would have worked out so much faster. Just imagine, the potential
IALS Max: David hates me
IALS Mina: *smacks the shit out of him*
IALS Max: Mina I'm serious!
IALS Mina: JESUS ARE YOU OBLIVIOUS?
IALS Jackson: God those two are meant for each other
IALS Mina: You have to deal with this too Jackson my man? Let's go for a drink
*They go for a drink and plan Mavid reconciliation*
Mina and Jackson supremacy, their brotp would solve everything wrong with my life. Will we get Mina in LBAF V? Please say yes🥺
I also read this in another TLND chapter and laughed so hard
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Max blowing up his trust fund in every reality to buy David a house is simply amazing, that boy is whipped.
Okay, I'm done. I think rereading TLND for the millionth time makes me feel better and I hope reading Chain of Thorns will help you feel better. Books really are magical. Hope you feel better soon, allow yourself to get some rest and take the time it needs to recover🌷
Not covid! Oh, babe. I hope you feel better soon too. I'm manifesting clear throats and noses and airways for us because this shit sucks indeed.
And ahh! You noticed the Jackson thingy. I love him 🥺
I love playing with relationship dynamics in every fic. It really tells you a lot about characters and their arcs when you include or remove certain people from their stories. For example, if Mina had been Max's best friend in TLND, the fic (and his storyline) would've been very different. The fact that he had someone his age to rely on, someone who would've understood his pain and fears, would've completely changed everything. Similarly, I shudder to think what would've happened to IALS David, if Jackson wasn't part of the story. I literally shudder. These little things often remind me of how important friends are in our lives and how their presence (or absence) can have detrimental effects on our stories (just as much as a parent or a significant other)
We will definitely see Mina in LBAF V. Can't wait for you to read her reaction when she finds out Max got married in secret 🙊
And of course, if he doesn't blow up his entire life savings for you, then what's the point of them, really? Max is an icon. No one else is doing it like him oof.
I've been reading chain of thorns (and just reading in general after a long time) and I definitely missed it. It's so much more fun than writing lol.
LOVE YOU. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF 💙
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kleinstar · 30 days ago
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🍅🍎🍐🍓🥝
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𝐅𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒   ♡   (ACCEPTING)
how does my muse feel about plastic  /  cosmetic surgeries   &   procedures?  is it something they have done or would do?  do they mind if others do it?  
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Eiden will probably encourage you if it's something you really want to do but might still ask your reasons, talk with you - not to try to change your mind, just talk. In the end he believes people are beautiful as they are (regardless what he might prefer etc)
He probably wouldn't want to go through it himself I think!
how stable is my muse’s mental health?  have they been diagnosed with any mental illnesses and  /  or conditions?  do they have any undiagnosed mental illnesses and  /  or conditions?  do they or should they attend therapy?  
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As this one sayyyys...
He's got his own issues! I believe the prison even also talks about Eiden not wanting to show any weakness, he's obviously gotten better at being vulnerable but you see him getting jokey/defensive about it aaa lot. I don't think therapy would like .. make things worse at least? But Aury and him weren't meant to be loool. He also has abandonment issues rooted in his childhood and later years - he used to think there was something off about him and so on.. he still got these but hes less self-depreciative now but hes still pretty scared of getting shunned (like if there was a situation where he was shunned hed be pretty upset!). He's also said he's scared of losing his confidence and what he would be without it.
He's to a degree aware of this all but ofc forgetting his own feelings he might not be so conscious off lol
how intelligent is my muse overall?  are they smarter than the average person,  or less than?  are they primarily self-taught,  or did they acquire most of their knowledge in school?  are they more street smart or book smart?  
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So Eiden might appear ditzy and goofy and doesnt always think things through but he's actually pretty smart, i find it hard to compare to 'average' person though but he's definitely pretty smart! More streetsmarts so though!
how is my muse typically seen by others?  does it ring true to who they really are?  does their reputation matter to them? 
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So he can be pretty charismatic and magnetic personality (he gained following in a prison, for instance loool), especially when he wants to but just as much come as a bit of a goof ... which he also is!! Both are true!!! He does want to be seen cool and neat and will be like slight sob if he gets told he's not skfkgk but its not THAT serious tbh, it won't ruin his day - he knows he cant please everyone... he does want some approval though!!
does my muse have any  ‘  unusual  ’  habits,  interests,  and  /  or talents?  do they hide it,  or are they proud of it?  
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...if you ask him this he's going to talk about sex!!! dkgkglgl but yeah, he's a sextoy designer, that is probably considered pretty unusual??? like yeah haha sextoys funny but also like in a serious sense not just horny sense if that makes sense, he just genuinely thinks this is his career and he loves to create adult stuff!! i think even in the game its taken like semiseriously, or at least comes off genuine?
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critcallylowhp · 2 years ago
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Tell me more about Humanformers diabetic Fulcrum
ALRIGHT HERE WE GO-
So, very similar to me, he was diagnosed at a very young age. He’s never really known not being diabetic. He was a lil bullied for it in school and other kids hated him cause he got special snacks. (He was actually dying though so ya know. I’m still salty about being hated for that and it’s been at least 10 years)
When he reached middle school, he was able to get an insulin pump and did really well with it! He was able to do everything in his own and kept up with his diet and sugar levels like he was supposed to. He was the doctor’s dream patient.
Slowly, he just learned to not tell people he was diabetic. Since he’s so skinny he’d get a lot of “I thought you had to be fat to be diabetic” comments and stuff like that. He also hated people pointing out his pump or any continuous glucose monitors and it made him insecure. So, he just started hiding it.
When he finally reached college, he wanted to be as independent as possible. Sadly, this meant he’d have to make some serious medical choices. Due to the price of pump supplies, he switched back to insulin shots. That way, he could pay for it without his parents help even though they insisted they’d cover it. And… he did really well at hiding it.
Don’t do this. Seriously- I know most juvenile diabetics already know this, but never ever hide it from the people you live with! It’s super dangerous and can get you killed. Super low blood sugars can cause seizures and super high ones can cause ketoacidosis which can lead to diabetic comas.
The rest of the Scavs do eventually find out, but not the easy way. After a typical night of cheap beer and weed for them, Fulcrum doesn’t wake up right away. Misfire is the one who finds him and he isn’t really responding. So of course, there’s panic.
Spinister, the only one in any kind of medical school steps in and figures it out pretty quick. They call for paramedics while they search his room for any kind of help. Turns out, Fulcrum didn’t have any glucagon because he didn’t want to have to pay for something he may never use. (Think of it kinda like an epipen.) So, they gotta use what the do have… Cue spins shoving icing covered fingers in fulcrum’s mouth and rubbing it against his gums. (Gets the sugar into the bloodstream without forcing him to swallow. Also, don’t do this unless it’s an absolute life or death situation!!!!)
Fulcrum wakes up to fingers in his mouth and in his low blood sugar haze, freaks out as well. There’s a bit of shouting and screaming, but all eventually calms down. Paramedics show up, take care of him in the spot, and then leave the Scavs to have a very awkward conversation.
Fulcrum does confess it and he’s mortified. Not only did he never want them to have to know, but for them to find out like this is terrible. Krok goes full dad and is putting glucose tablets in every drawer in the house. He’s watching fulcrum like a hawk for the next month and checking on him before he goes to bed.
Misfire? Oh he’s loosing his mind. He’s been dating Fulcrum for like a month and has even done the deed and he never noticed? Now he’s starting to see all the little dots on the back of Fulcrum’s arms from the shots and how his fingertips look scarred from checking his blood sugar.
It still takes all of them by surprise when they see Fulcrum draw up insulin. Sometimes he does it at the kitchen table since there’s more space than the bathroom. Crankcase had to double take when he saw Fulcrum tapping the bubbles out of he syringe cause he completely forgot. He thought Ful was just shooting it up at the table
Overall- fulcrum is the diabetic I wish I was djdbsjjsjs im horrible about checking my blood sugars and keeping up with supplies. My doctor hates me-
Also- some pics of stuff for ref.
This is the insulin pump I actually have rn! I don’t have the lil white thing on the side there which is the continuous glucose monitor. I should though… I haven’t checked my blood sugar in months shhhhh
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This is typically how glucagon comes. I now have a nasal spray instead, but I think it’s only recently come out.
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Then glucose tablets! These things are like Candy to me- I used to look forward to low blood sugars as a kid so I could these bad boys. (The best flavor is grape btw)
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Now, my insulin comes in a vial, but I think fulcrum would mainly use the preloaded pens. I used to use them as a kid and my friend uses them now. This is also the exact one I used 10 years ago Omg- they still make them!!!! I can remember the clicks so distinctly
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chocojae · 3 years ago
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[12:06]
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pairing ▸ husband! kim doyoung x female reader genre ▸ angst with a happy ending wordcount ▸ 664. warnings ▸ mention of accident and amnesia
luna’s note ▸ yes i am indeed alive, just frustrated and busy. i just wanna thank you all for showing so much love to my works, i am really, really grateful ♡
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DOYOUNG HATES SPRING SO MUCH.
Unlike everyone, he has developed a hatred for those vibrant, dreamy, and beautiful flowers that bloom ever so lovingly in the spring — for those fresh, warm spring breezes that give people a sense of comfort, and a hope to live. 
As he walks past the crowded streets filled with cherry blossoms and the cheerful squeals of people, he feels empty. 
He feels empty because there is no one who would give his hand a tight, warm squeeze, there is no one who would give him a smile that would melt his heart there is no one who would make him feel like he is where he truly belongs to.
Because there is no one that compares to you.
It's been two years since he had been watching you over secretly in the hopes that you would remember him. It's been two years since you met with a tragic car accident and got diagnosed with amnesia. 
You never seemed to remember him, to remember he was the love of your life — your high school sweetheart — and your husband. He tried to start over but he failed, he failed to give you the same love and comfort that had made you his. Maybe his and your love weren't meant to last forever after all.
So he decided to enter your life once again, this time just as a friend — and that too for an excuse to see you once every week. He gripped the bouquet of flowers tight in his hand, his heart pounding for no reason. 
For the first time in two years, you had called him to meet in the same park where you first met. Your voice on the phone was heavy and serious as if you were biting back tears. And that made him feel scared. Perhaps you wanted him to get out of your life, to leave you alone, to just let you live freely because the love you had for him was all in the past. He doesn't know.
However, when his eyes landed on your worried and timid figure sitting under the cherry blossom tree and fiddling your fingers, his heart almost dropped. There was a diamond ring slitting on your finger prettily — no, a wedding ring slipped on your finger prettily, his gaze immediately went to the exact same band that his hand was adoring.
You looked up to see his figure just meters away from you, eyes widening at the surprised look on his face. Maybe it finally clicked him.
It wasn't long before you couldn't control yourself and ran into his arms, tears falling continuously. Doyoung was taken back for a moment but wrapped his arms around you so tight as if holding you any loosely would make you disappear. His hug felt warm, like a soft blanket wrapped around you, and the tears flowing down his rosy cheeks just shattered your heart into pieces.
You missed him.
Doyoung doesn't need words to know that you finally remember him. He isn't interested to know how you regained your memories, he is just too overwhelmed to even utter a word. Having you back in his arms and knowing you are his is more than enough for him.
He is glad you are back. He is glad the spring he once enjoyed is back.
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luna’s note ▸ ahem. this piece is so random because my mind is not working at the moment but i still tried— feedback is much appreciated! find my other works here
© chocojae 2022
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