#this goes for letter from the refuge as well

[dashiellqvverty]

crazy how santa fe prologue is the most romantic song in newsies

[sea-lanterns]

PSYCHO

synopsis: (slasher! AU) you find yourself at a creepy inn in the middle of nowhere.

featuring: hu tao

rating: 18+ smut (men and minors dni)

warnings: sub! afab fem reader, dom character, stalking, peeping, perverted character, yandere-ish character, ooc character, peepholes, mast.urbation while peeping, breaking and entering, usage of a se.x to.y, fin.gering, shower se.x, degradation, obsessive character, not proofread.

art credits: my hero academia

The rain was heavy and loud, beating down against your windshield as your wipers fought furiously to keep your window clear. Driving out late at night in the middle of a storm was not ideal, however you really wanted to get to your destination soon without having to sleep on the side of the road again, so you continued to press on.

As the minutes passed by, it appeared the rain wasn’t letting up anytime soon, forcing you to seek refuge at any of the nearby motels in the area. Though you were literally driving through the middle of nowhere, your eyes spotted something flickering in the distance; a beam of red light that was unmistakable for a sign. You drove closer, pulling up to the sign and reading it through your watery windshield; “Wangsheng Inn” it read in big bold letters, a beacon of safety in the raging storm around you. 

“Ah…screw it.” You grumbled to yourself, pulling into the parking lot of the motel so you could rest for the night. This would definitely take a small dig into your wallet, but at this point anything was better than driving in the storm.

You parked your car and got out in the heavy rain, immediately getting soaked under mother nature’s downpour. You hurried to grab your bags from the trunk and drag them to the dimly lit check-in office in the corner. Through your hurry to get inside as soon as possible, you failed to notice the shadowy figure watching you from behind the curtain, watching as you scrambled across the parking lot to get to the office.

‘Cold cold cold cold’ you mentally cursed yourself and opened the door to the office, the warmth of a nearby radiator hitting your face and making you sigh with relief. Ah…that was better. You hurried inside and shut the door behind you, letting the warmth and dryness of the indoors seep into you while you walked up to the front desk.

Huh, that’s strange. There was no one there. You waited a few moments before looking over at the bell on the counter, underneath a sign that read “Ring for Service.”

So, like any other functioning adult, you tapped it once. Twice. Until finally you heard footsteps shuffling in the room behind the office, the door finally opening and revealing a young woman with a cute smile. 

“Ah, hello there!” She greeted rather cheerfully, her demeanor already coming across as cute. “Didn’t expect anyone to be out in this weather. Quite a storm huh?” 

“Uh, yes. It really is.” You were taken aback by how energetic she was so late at night, but you chalked it off as just her doing her job. “I would like to check in for the night.”

“Just one night?” The woman smiled peculiarly. 

“Ah…yeah. Just until the storm goes away. I’m kind of in a hurry.” You glanced at your watch and noted it was almost 9pm now. 

“Awe…I see.” The woman sounded almost…disappointed. “Well in that case, you can have Room 1! It’s right next to this one and it’s vacant, like all our other rooms…” 

She laughed off her small joke and extended her hand while she flipped through the guestbook. “Anyways, I’m Hu Tao, proud owner of the Wangsheng Inn.” 

“I’m (Reader)” you responded calmly, giving her a small handshake in return. She smiled when you took her hand, seemingly enjoying the feel of your hand around hers. “(Reader)…that’s a pretty name for a pretty girl.” 

You smiled nervously at the compliment, wondering if she was flirting with you or not. You wouldn’t mind usually, but right now you were tired and just wanted to take a hot shower and lie down in a warm bed. “Yes…thank you. Uhm, may I get the key to my room?”

“Oh! Of course, of course!” She hummed nonchalantly, grabbing a key off the wall. “You must be exhausted, please make sure to enjoy all the luxuries our rooms have to offer.”

She winked at you and handed you the key, its small weight pushing firmly against your palm. You held it securely in your grip, nodding as you let her escort you to the room next door. The rain outside poured heavily still as you dragged your luggage behind you, opening the door to Room 1 and turning the lights on inside. 

Hu Tao soon followed suit behind you as you took in the warm hospitality of the room. Like the office, it was warm and well lit, a comfortable place to stay the night while you waited out the storm. “Here it is, our famous Room 1 suite!” Hu Tao exclaimed jovially. “Does it accomodate to your tastes, ma’am?” 

“It’s lovely for such a bargain price. I am surprised you didn’t charge me any higher,” you hummed in astonishment, setting your luggage down on the floor. 

“Well, no one really drives through these parts. The Wangsheng Inn is off to the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. I have no choice but to make the rooms cheap,” she smiled softly, looking at you. “Though, I was quite surprised to see you tonight. Out in the storm in the middle of nowhere, what exactly were you doing out there…?”

She leaned in close to you, her face just inches away. Your breath hitched and you felt the hairs on your neck stand up on end, a little creeped out by how prodding she was being. 

“Erm…please don’t take this the wrong way but that is my own business to worry about,” you responded firmly. Hu Tao chuckled and took a step back, raising her hands up in surrender. “Right, I apologize. I shouldn’t have been so nosy.” It seemed that no matter what the topic was, Hu Tao always had a smile on her face. Though it was slightly unsettling, you chalked it off as just being her personality. “It’s alright, though…I would like to unpack for a bit. My clothes are soaking wet, so I’d like to change.” 

“Of course ma’am. Let me know if you need anything, my office is right next door.” She grinned and walked out of your room, shutting the door behind her. Now alone, you stood in the middle of the quiet room, taking a deep breath and shaking off the unnerving feeling you felt after encountering the manager. 

‘What an odd woman…’ you thought to yourself, beginning to unload your luggage and dig through your clothes. ‘Quite attractive…and somewhat charming, if not for being so nosy.’

You sighed and pulled out a few clothes from your suitcase, wondering what to wear to bed before hopping into the shower. 

“This should do…” you murmured to yourself, pulling out a pair of pajamas and setting it on the bed. Slowly, you began stripping out of your wet clothes, your skin glistening from the moisture of your clothes, beautiful and refined. As you were busy changing, you suddenly felt as if you were being watched, a feeling of unsettling fear rising in your chest. 

…That can’t be right though. You were alone in your motel room, surely your paranoia was just playing tricks on you. 

You shrugged off the feeling and began taking off your underwear, eager to step into the warm shower and wash away the grime of today. 

In the office room next door, inside the back room where only Hu Tao was allowed to enter, she breathed heavily and watched you through the peephole hidden behind her picture frame, eying the way you slid out of your undergarments rather sensually. On the surface, Hu Tao appeared as a quaint and spry young woman, effortlessly charming with her bright smile and casual demeanor. However, underneath it all; she was just a huge pervert, fingering herself to the sight of you blissfully unaware that you were being peeped on by the innkeeper next door.

‘God…how beautiful,’ Hu Tao thought to herself, unable to contain her sleazy grin as she pressed her fingers deeper against her clit. Her thighs buckled with each forceful motion of her fingers, drooling over the sight of your beautiful body just out on display for her. ‘It’s not often that a pretty lady like her shows up…goodness, I’m a mess.’ 

Hu Tao stifled a whimper as she pushed her fingers further up her cunt, feeling her velvety walls clamp tightly around her digits. She was a complete mess just watching you, her pants pulled down to her knees while she touched herself imagining various fantasies with that stunning body of yours. The loneliness and isolation of running a roadside inn was really catching up to her as she craved to feel another woman against her body.

“Turn around…” Hu Tao whispered to herself, lusting for the sight of seeing your breasts and full body on display. “Oh fuck please turn around…” 

She eyed you hungrily before watching as you turned around to grab a towel, her pussy throbbing at the sight of you exposed before her. 

“Nnnh…damn.” Hu Tao licked her lips and fingered herself faster, watching as you went into the bathroom to shower. She didn’t have a peephole to look in there, but she could imagine the warm water cascading down your body, the room all hot and steamy as your body grew slick from the moisture. Hu Tao couldn’t take it anymore, her thoughts were growing stronger and her body’s needs were becoming more urgent. 

She slid another digit in, closing her eyes and trying to urge herself to release. No matter how hard she thrusted, or added another finger, or ground against her hand it still wasn’t enough. She needed to have the source right in front of her. 

“Well…looks like I’ll be using that spare key after all…” Hu Tao mumbled to herself, sliding her slimy fingers out of her folds and pulling her pants up. 

Turning on the shower head, you let out a sigh of relief when you felt the hot water run down your body. All those hours of being cooped up in your old car left your body cramped, an ache present in your muscles as you stretched them out to get them working again. “My back is killing me…” you grumbled, arching your back to hopefully sort out a few knots that have gathered. You took some soap and lathered your body up, relieved at the sensation of being clean again after so long. 

Your eyes fluttered shut under the shower head, so lost in your pleasant shower that you failed to hear the sound of your bathroom door slowly opening. Each footstep fell onto deaf ears as the shadowy figure in front of the curtain drew closer, raising something in their hand that looked strangely long and pointed.

The shadow continued to stand there, almost as if they were admiring your silhouette showering like a creep. They stood there for a few more moments of silence, before suddenly yanking the shower curtains open, causing you to open your eyes abruptly. 

You let out a scream once you saw the figure in front of you, covering your chest and backing up against the wall. The hardness of the tiled wall hit your back with a cold slam, adrenaline spiking in your veins once you saw who had broken into your room. 

Hu Tao? The innkeeper?! 

She stood there with that same, chilling smile like always. “I figured your body was quite sore after your journey, so why don’t you let me deal with that for you…?”

Her eyes went half lidded, obsession swirling in her eyes before she raised the object in her hand. Your breath hitched and you immediately let out another scream, raising your hands to shield your body and face from the knife you thought was in her hand. What you expected for pain and bloodshed did not come, however. Instead, only the soft chuckle of Hu Tao’s amusement rang out, causing you to hesitantly open your eyes. 

In her hand…wasn’t a knife, no. It was long… but definitely not sharp. Far from it in fact. 

Heat rose to your cheeks and you let out a confused whimper. Was…that a sex toy? 

“Didn’t think you’d be so terrified of a dildo…” Hu Tao giggled, stepping into the shower with you, still fully clothed. You felt adrenaline spike in your chest as she backed you further against the wall, pinning you there. For a few moments, Hu Tao just stood there, admiring your naked form as the hot water dripped down her face, her wet hair sticking to her skin. If not for how utterly psychotic she looked, you had to admit that her hair all wet really added to her physical appeal…

“Oh, looks like you’ve finally quieted down,” She giggled, slowly tracing the tip of the sex toy up your thigh. “Good girl, can’t have you screaming in fear when you should be screaming in pleasure.” 

…Did your pussy just throb? You had no idea what your body was doing right now, a mixture of fear and arousal pooling at your core. “Wh…What are you doing here?” Your voice trembled greatly, unsure if you should fight, flee, or freeze. 

“As the innkeeper of Wangsheng Inn, it is my duty to make sure all our guests’ needs are met,” she licked her lips and leaned closer, her breath tickling your own. “Especially for the pretty women we so rarely get.” 

She giggled and traced the tip of her dildo a little higher, eliciting goosebumps in their wake as it got closer to your core. The steamy bathroom was not making your desire any less stronger, but although you were already trembling in fear, a part of you felt your knees buckle at the curious temptation Hu Tao had to offer…

“Let me show you a good time…” she purred, the lust glistening in her eyes. It was clear she was heavily attracted to you, “I promise I won’t hurt you…if you don’t want me to.” 

You should not have gotten as turned on as you did, but that longing inside you was curious to know just how good this innkeeper really was.  Unconsciously, you found your head tilting downwards in a nod, before Hu Tao immediately moved forward to kiss you. Her tongue immediately darted in between your lips, catching you off guard before sliding her fingers up to cup your already wet cunt. 

Though her fingers were on the smaller side, they were quite lithe and flexible, gently pinching your clit before rubbing tight circles around your heat to get you to relax. You found yourself bucking up against the innkeeper’s fingers, the hot water amplifying your sensitivity while Hu Tao drooled over how your walls spread so easily for her.

“Nnnnh fuck, you feel even better than I expected…” she purred, getting lost in the feeling as she speared your warm folds further apart. “Gettin’ so wet for me already…how naughty. Did you touch yourself in here thinking about me? You can’t be this wet and pathetic~”

You grumbled and shook your head no, causing Hu Tao to grin and degrade you further. 

“Well…you’re gonna be touching yourself a lot more after this. Gonna have this needy pussy craving to be filled by me everyday.” She laughed and pushed her fingers deeper, filling you up while she thrusted at an uneven pace. Hu Tao was getting so wet and pent up already just watching you, and she knew she had to get to the main event soon if she wanted to climax tonight. 

‘Damn…I wanna see her take the toy. She’d be so hot trying to take it.’ Hu Tao bit her bottom lip as her perverted thoughts made their way to her brain. The more she felt her fingers get squeezed by your cunt, the more she longed to see you squeeze the toy she chose for you as well. 

“I think you’re wet enough. Let’s move on to the big one, alright?” She stifled a giggle and slid her slick-covered fingers out of you, not bothering to clean them off in the shower water as she stuck them in her mouth instead. “Mmmmpf.” Her eyes filled with lust as she moaned at the taste of you, suckling her fingers rather lewdly to emphasize how much she was enjoying it. 

She took her sweet time in cleaning off her fingers, her warm tongue sliding over each digit and making direct eye contact with you while you squirmed under her body. How…deranged this woman was being, and yet you couldn’t help but find her mannerisms extremely attractive at this moment. 

“Come on now…let’s get those pretty lips wrapped around the toy…” Hu Tao purred, helping your lower lips slide over the tip before slowly pushing in. “Oh…oh. Look at you taking my cock so well. I picked it thinking of you, you know. I figured a girl like you would prefer more…natural colors.” 

She giggled and drooled at the way her realistic-looking dildo sunk deeper into your hole, making you arch your back against the cold tiled wall and moan. In the closed space of the steamy bathroom, your moans echoed in a rather beautiful way, making the sicko moan too with how much your noises pleased her.

“Ahh…moan like that again…” she whined, pushing the toy deeper and watching as it speared you open, slick juices starting to gather at the handle and coat her hand currently holding it. She bit her lower lip and couldn’t resist the urge to push her pants down to finger herself to the sight of you, throwing her head back as she too, was getting lost in the throes of pleasure. “It’s been so long since I’ve had a girl so close to me like this…” she gasped and began thrusting the faux cock at an even faster pace, “I want to keep you to myself. You can’t leave tomorrow, you simply can’t!” 

You tried to say something in retaliation to that, but all that came out was a choked out moan, her thrusts growing harsher as the toy inside you began making you grind your body against her hand. Hu Tao complied with your silent needs, grinding her palm against your clit and making you bottom out on the cock so easily. 

“Live with me at the inn, yeah? On that old house up on the hill, where it’s just the two of us and the inn in the middle of nowhere…”

Hu Tao moaned as she found herself coming closer to her climax, that same spiraling obsession starting to show in her eyes again. 

“…No one to bother us. No one to interrupt.” 

She groaned and bucked her hips harder against her own hand, her other hand slamming the toy cock brutally against your hips, almost bulldozing with how hard she was thrusting. 

“Just you and me, forever, (Reader).” 

She grinned, a small trickle of drool leaking past her lips before you both came at the same time. Hu Tao’s hands were absolutely coated in both your guys’ cum, as well as a combination of the shower water that still rained on top of you. As you panted and came down from your high, your body collapsed into Hu Tao’s, causing her to hold you up in her arms and pull you in for a desperate kiss.

In the bathroom, the echoey moans and wet slaps ceased, with only the sound of the shower water hitting the floor bringing interruption to the silence. 

“Poor girl…you must be exhausted…” Hu Tao pouted, reaching over to turn off the faucet as you both stood in the bathtub together, enveloped in each other’s embrace. “Let’s get you dried and dressed up, hm? I can’t wait to tell grandfather that I’ve finally found myself a woman.”

She smiled that same, chilling smile, carrying you out of the tub bridal style and making her way out of the bathroom. The storm had long stopped outside the motel, but for you, the effects of the storm will forever linger at the Wangsheng Inn. As you would soon find yourself not staying for one night like you thought, but for every night for the rest of your life. 

[bullet-prooflove]

The Duck Pond: Alden Parker x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @mandy426 @caffeinatedwoman @elefrog25-blog @toheavenwmydrms

Companion piece to:

Pillow Talk - Alden realises he's a shitty husband.

Two Points For Honesty - Alden makes a confession about his time on the run with Viv.

Wild Flowers - You confront Viv about what happened with Alden.

You’re not in your office when Alden comes to find you at the end of the day, the lights are off and the door is locked. Through the glass panelling he can see the spring wild flowers sticking out of the trash can, a tulip wilting over the edge and he knows in that moment that Viv has been to see you.

This situation between the three of you, it’s becoming untenable. His case is no closer to being solved and the longer it goes on…

Well he worries about there being a marriage to come back to because as tortious as he’s finding her presence, it must be a thousand times worse for you.

He finds you on a bench by the duck pond the two of you like to visit on Sundays. You always bring a small bag of frozen peas because it’s nutritious and the ducks love to play with them.

There’s a pink pastry box from the Flamingo bakery by your side and your fingertips are covered in powdered sugar. He sighs because this is another one of your stress behaviours, if it’s not smoking it’s donuts and from the size of the box he knows you’re going to be bouncing off the walls when you do decide to come home, if you decide to come home.

“One of those days huh?” He says as he picks up the box and takes up residency in it’s space. He sets it back down on his lap, feeling the weight of one donut remaining.

“Yea.” You reply, gesturing towards the box. “I got you a Boston Cream, I was going to bring it home with me but...”

You aren’t quite ready to go home yet because the apartment you share, it doesn’t feel like the sanctuary it used to, it hasn’t since that whole mess with the Raven started. You’ve been working hard, trying to get back into that mindset but it’s hard when the place keeps getting invaded.

First by Viv after the Raven took her, then the FBI, Alden with his secrets and Kris with his letters. It doesn’t feel like your refuge anymore, the sanctity of it’s been broken and you’re not quite sure how to fix it.

“Can we stay somewhere else tonight?” You ask him, your cheeks colouring as you make the request. “I know it’s stupid, but I just need to be somewhere where it’s just us, where there’s no memories of anything else, anyone else. I just need…”

You need him, him to remind you that you’re a priority in this relationship, that everything Viv says isn’t true, that you’re not just a placeholder to their inevitability.

Alden’s jaw clenches as he looks out across the duckpond and you feel something inside you just die, because you know what’s coming next.

“I can’t, there’s a stakeout tonight…”

He trails off unwilling to say the next part and he doesn’t have to because you know he’s spending the night in a car with his ex-wife, talking about old times, rekindling that flame. She’s right because there it is, that inevitability.

“Ok.” You say, your voice barely more than a whisper as you raise to your feet. “I forgot I need to be somewhere…”

“Lisa…” He calls out after you but you don’t respond you just keep your head down so he can’t see the tears on your cheeks as you walk away.

Love Alden? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[fuckyeahnickburkhardt]

headcanon, monroe is one of those parents who hears that one of their kids is trying to get into a new hobby or wants to get into a new hobby, and he instantly goes to the store and buys EVERYTHING even mildly associated with it for the kid.

"hey dad, ive been kinda thinking about getting into crochet." and then they go to school, come back, and their room is full of yarn, hooks of every size and shape, needles, poly-fil, and even random items that the crochet-masters he bugged at the store recommended to him (headlamps and stuff).

he'd also be the best parent for lgbt kids. specifically trans kids. he'd be looking up shit constantly, asking pronouns and new names, buying stuff with flag colors, and wogeing in transphobic peoples faces. rosalee would be awesome too, but would be calmer about it.

Yes! I love this and it's so in-character for him!

Of the blutbau triplets (which we have some blog headcanons for if you're new here! that I'm about to add to lol), Felix comes out as gay when he's in 10th grade, on the ride to school. When he gets home that day, his parents are waiting in the living room, which looks like the Pride section of Target (R.I.P.) threw up on it. There's rainbow bunting on the fireplace, a rainbow cover on the couch, rainbow balloons and streamers hanging from the ceiling, and a big rainbow slice cake that says "Congrats on Coming Out!" in frosting letters. Monroe and Rosalee are in matching rainbow cardigans and party hats. Felix is absolutely mortified, god parents are so embarrassing! But underneath that, he knows he's loved.

Monroe proceeds to become the most over-invested stereotypical PFLAG parent imaginable (in the best way). He audits queer studies classes at a local university. He volunteers for the city's Pride committee. He sponsors and chaperones events for Felix's high school GSA. He knows the whole world won't be a safe space for his son, but he makes damn sure to create as many of them as he possibly can for Felix to run to when he needs.

The [Redacted]-Calvert home becomes a refuge for closeted kids who are friends of the triplets and don't know how to tell their parents. Once or twice over the years, one of his kids comes home with a crying kid carrying a backpack in tow, when telling their parents didn't go well. Every time, Monroe looks at his son and remembers holding him as a baby and every moment of watching him grow up, and cannot imagine how any parent could turn their own child away for any reason, much less for something that hurts no one.

Rosalee is less effusive, but no less supportive. Those few times her kids bring a friend home crying, Rosalee gives them mom hugs and makes up the guest room for them, and once they're soundly asleep or having dinner with her family and starting to smile again, she quietly ducks out and goes straight to their parents to give them a piece of her mind. Monroe can't imagine abandoning one of his kids, but Rosalee can imagine a dozen ways to shame someone into the ground for doing so. She's so good at it and so persuasive that by the end, one of the couples actually thanks her for it and begs her to help with apologizing to their kids.

When some one million mom or other tries to get a queer YA novel banned from the school library, they quickly find they fucked with the wrong fuchsbau. Rosalee tries reason and she tries diplomacy. But when the woman starts passing around lists of yet more books to ban and making noises about enforcing "birth names" and "correct bathrooms," Rosalee ropes Nick into helping staff the next PTA bake sale and introduces him to everyone, including Mrs. One Million Moms.

Poor Nick, totally oblivious, greets her with a smile and a mild look of surprise when she woges in front of him. Rosalee makes sure to mention, all smiles, how Nick is such a dear old family friend who's really helped her with so many little problems over the years. Nick gets bashful and puzzled at the praise. Mrs. One Million Moms turns white as a sheet and come Monday, suddenly her zeal for banning queer books and forcing trans kids to be deadnamed in class has mysteriously dried up.

Rosalee knows that was fighting dirty. She doesn't give a shit. You can't take the high road with people that dedicated to crawling around in the mud. It's not just about her own kids, though that would be enough. She's held a kid whose name she didn't even know yet while they cried so hard they nearly threw up because of people like that woman. When it comes to making them feel safe, she'll fight far dirtier than that if she has to.

(Also, yes. When Farrin casually mentions she's thinking about taking up painting one night at dinner, she wakes up the next morning to find an easel with a fresh canvas next to her bed, acrylic paints, oil paints, watercolors, watercolor paper, and every brush the local craft store had. It's...a bit much. But the thing about Monroe and Rosalee is that their support always comes without pressure. She knows if she decides after a week that painting isn't for her, she'll never hear a word of guilt-tripping or disappointment from her parents about it. The materials will all go into storage, or be donated, or passed on to some friend or other, and she'll get the same level of over-the-top support the next time she wants to try something.)

[thoughtsonhurtandcomfort]

Shun the Light - Ch. 7 - The Garden

Slow Burn | Refuge | Decision | Mend | Hunger | Thin Mints |

Author's Notes: Thanks a bunch to everyone who has read these so far <3

Content Warnings: honestly none this time? There are some graves. That's about it.

----

By the next evening Matteo is inexplicably still in the house. Feeling better after a couple days in a real bed, he gets up and does some stretches, then goes to look for his host.

Outside the sun hasn't quite set, and Matteo concludes that the vampire is still sleeping. He's at a loss for what to do.

I should leave.

The weather has improved but Matteo isn't exactly eager to be out in the wilderness again. Eventually he'll need a meal that isn't a box of cookies, and he imagines the reclusive vampire will want his peace and quiet back. But Matteo can't bring himself to walk out the door just yet.

I'll at least wait to thank him first. That's what he tells himself.

In the meantime he wanders the big old house. He doesn't open any doors, drawers, or closets, mostly to respect the owner's privacy but also a little out of fear of what he might find.

Some parts of the home are well kept while others show their age. Matteo can't help noticing the discolored rectangles of varying sizes on the walls where frames once hung, or how every mirror is covered with a sheet.

He ends up at an ornate dining room. Chunks of what was once a large, solid wood table are shoved into a pile in the corner, and all its chairs stacked against the wall and covered, leaving only a small round table with a single chair in an alcove by the window. The curtains are shut.

On the table is a small stack of opened envelopes, yellowed with age and crumpled from regular use. Each contains a folded letter, but Matteo refuses to give in to the curiosity to read them. He only looks at the fronts, which are all postmarked with dates from the 1970s and all addressed to the same person - Philip Townsend.

That must be him.

Matteo parts the curtains a little so he can look outside. The window allows a perfect view of what must have been an incredible garden, with multiple levels, walking paths, benches, and even a small fountain. All of it grown over with vines and roots and fallen leaves, as if the forest is slowly closing in around the house and its lonely inhabitant.

He slips quietly out a back door into the garden. It's a cool, clear night. As he ventures further he keeps his gaze away from the bright moon and on the stone path before him, quickly regretting coming out here without a shirt or shoes.

About halfway in he comes upon a clearing - and stops abruptly.

Matteo stares at the four graves that are framed by a circle of trimmed shrubs, the only attempt anyone has made to maintain order.

Each grave has a roughly made marker, slabs of wood engraved with names and dates.

Three are clustered closer together. They read: William Henry Townsend, Mary Esther (Bailey) Townsend, Philip James Townsend.

The fourth reads Dario Alberti.

Matteo is fixated on one of the graves in particular when suddenly he gets the feeling he isn't alone. He can feel the vampire's presence just a few feet behind him.

He turns to look at him, trying to put a coherent thought together.

"If...if he's here..." Matteo motions to Philip's grave. "...then who are you?"

[whumpninja]

I saw you like musicals, do you have any whumpy musical recommendations? 👀

Heck. Yeah.

Phantom of the Opera, first off. I’ve always said that the line “My power over you grows stronger yet…” is a killer whump dialogue line. The whole musical is very Gothic and creepy- Christine gets hypnotized at one point. Also the Phantom’s backstory is really whumpy, and there’s a lot of emotional angst/turmoil. Raul also gets tied up with a lasso at one point.

Newsies, which happens to be one of my favorite musicals! There’s a lot of stage fighting, and some of it doesn’t go very well for the heroes (Crutchie😭) The song Letter From The Refuge will absolutely break your heart. I personally prefer the live performance on Disney+, I haven’t seen the original movie.

Les Miserables. The thing opens with Jean Valjean as a galley slave. The whole musical he’s being chased/hiding his identity, and when it’s revealed it is ridiculously whumpy. There’s also plenty of emotional whump if that’s your bend!

West Side Story. Gang fights, injury, plenty of emotional whump. I will admit that I don’t like this musical very much, too romantic for me- I only watched it because I found a version with female actresses playing two of the male characters and I loved that. It’s whumpy, though! Just not my cup of poisoned tea.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame. They use the songs from the Disney version, but insert them into the book’s plot. It is WHUMPY AS. Pillory scene, the entire Court of Miracles scene, a prison scene that-warning- goes places where Disney did not, and the burning at the stake scene. Not a happy musical, but whumpy!

Hadestown. The scene where Orpheus gets beat to hades and back in the underworld lives rent free in my brain. Also the whole thing is emotional angst like mad.

[erose-this-name]

Every Time a Bell Rings

Cult of the Lamb Ficlet

⋅∴∵∴∵∴∵⁂∵∴∵∴∵∴⋅

It had been a long night serving at the drinkhouse for the yellow-furred cat follower (of varying name). He is behind on getting everything cleaned and shut down for the day.

Then the Lamb happens to walk by, yawns, and picks up a mop. Their favorite, eldritch mop.

The yellow cat says, “Leader, it’s fine, really, I can handle this on my own.”

“And yet, you have my help.” The Lamb smiles.

If the yellow cat has learned anything about his leader, it’s that they’re not the kind to delegate. If they see something that needs doing, they just do it. No matter how dirty. This is starkly contrast to every other crown bearer he’s ever heard of.

The bell around the Lamb’s neck rings with each push of their mop.

“Leader, I hope you don’t mind my asking, but why are you always wearing that bell?” The yellow cat asks.

“Huh? Oh, I’m sorry, it’s not annoying, is it? I suppose I could change into another fleece…” Lamb says.

Yellow cat says, “No, no! Not at all. Actually, it's nice to hear you’re near, makes me feel safe. It’s just, I mean, a lot of us have been wondering why you wear it? Isn’t it annoying for you?”

“Oh, baahaahaa! Yeah, I guess it’s not a very ‘fashionable’ accessory, is it?” The Lamb laughs.

Somehow the thought people would question the bell has never crossed the sheep's mind. They goes back to mopping, their brow furrowing slightly.

“Um, so when I was very young, I used to crawl all over the place. You know how babies do that. And, my parents were afraid I’d wander too far and, uh… attract the Bishops to our hidden refuge. So they put the bell on me. So they’d always know where I was. Even when I got old enough to not need it, when I understood… it just kind of felt wrong if a bell doesn’t ring with every step, you know? I was so used to it.” They say.

The cult leader has been absentmindedly moping and mopping the same patch of floor well past the point of spotless.

The Lamb holds the base of the bell and rings it in their hand. Its tinkling sound rings clearly. “I find it calming.”

Yellow Cat sees that several other faint children’s names had been crudely engraved into the base of that old, dinged up bell, then scratched out. Each name’s marks are increasingly worn down and filled with tarnish. The last name has had every letter except L-A-M-B scratched off, in their place are marks fresh enough to still expose raw shiny brass beneath the layers of patina.

SHEPHERD RAMSES BOPEEP COSSETTE LAMBERT

The feline follower’s expression had been steadily falling through the whole story. “Oh, right. Of course… I’m sorry I asked, Leader.”

The Lamb puts on a half smile and coquettishly tilts their head to the side. “Don’t worry about it. Also, the collar keeps my head from falling off.”

"Huh?"

⋅∴∵∴∵∴∵⁂∵∴∵∴∵∴⋅

One day, many days later, Leshy and that same yellow furred cat he hangs around barge into the Lamb’s office.

The yellow cat stutters, face turning more red than yellow. “Hey, Leader, so… um…”

Leshy cuts off yellow cat, “I have utilized this lowly cat’s perfect genes to mother a demigod heir to rival your tyranny, foul Lamb.”

Leshy holds up an egg. It is the cult’s first birth.

The Lamb stares, at a loss for words, “What?… an *egg*? I thought you’re both male? Didn’t you just… HOW?”

“Do not underestimate the power of my clitellum, small-minded mammal!” Says the green earthworm, which as it turns out is a hermaphroditic species.

The yellow cat mumbles, traumatized, “I didn’t even realize we were having sex in that way, worms are so weird…”

⋅∴∵∴∵∴∵⁂∵∴∵∴∵∴⋅

The egg is about to hatch. Yellow Cat, Leshy, Lamb, Shamura, Kallamar, Narinder, and Heket have gathered around to watch.

Kallamar delivers the baby and, despite being a potent source of slime himself, he recoils at the albumin and viscera.

Yellow Cat and Lamb are the only one’s to greet the new life with smiles, everyone else grimaces at the hideous abomination of nature. Except for Leshy and Shamura, who have no idea what’s happening.

Leshy asks, “Well? Is it mighty? DOES IT HAVE MY TEETH?” 

Kallamar wrinkles his lack of a nose, “It’s… uh, I mean, I guess it is healthy, but…”

Narinder says, “It’s an ‘it’, alright. Aym and Baal were much cuter kits.”

“SACRILEGIOUS BEAST, GIVE ME THE RED CROWN, SO I MAY SEE MY CHILD THROUGH IT!” The horned worm leaps at the Lamb, trying to wrestle the Red Crown away from them.

“NEVER! IT’S MINE! MY PRECIOUS!” The woolly God of Death roars as they push the ex-god off them. Narinder rolls his eyes.

Yellow cat says, nervously, “They’re… I mean, I love them, and they’re a perfect ball of joy… but…”

“WON’T SOMEONE TELL ME HOW OUR CHILD LOOKS?!” Leshy cries.

“… ugly…” Heket croaks.

Leshy falls to his knees, “NOOOOOOO!”

Yellow cat turns to the Lamb and gently hands the baby to them.

“Leader, we talked it over, and we thought it’d be best if you name it.” Yellow cat says.

The Lamb smiles, “I’d be honored to-”

“Wait, no, what were you thinking, cat? GET AWAY FROM MY DEMIGOD, GOD-MURDERER! Godparent Shamura, you shall name it!” Leshy commands.

The ex-chaos bishop rips the infant away from the Lamb and thrusts it into Shamura’s arms, who is about as surprised as everyone else.

The concussed spider looks down at their new niece/nephew, cradling it in two of their arms while gently wrapping it in a silk swaddle with another two. Tiny malformed fingers wrap around a thin chitinous thumb.

Shamura mumbles, “Hmm… Yes. I see you, lowliest worm, just begun. Becoming our moon, yet you reached for the sun. Zero becomes one becomes two. You are named ‘Metztli’, aren’t you? She has your eyes, Leshy. And my thumb.”

The yellow cat smiles, “‘Metztli’, what a beautiful name. Leshy, your eye looked like that? They’re so pretty!”

⋅∴∵∴∵∴∵⁂∵∴∵∴∵∴⋅

Several days later, after returning from an impromptu crusade, Lamb knocks on Leshy and the yellow cat’s door. They are greeted by the cat.

The Lamb says, “Hello! I have a gift for Meztli… uh, Metzi? Mets-klee-”

“Metztli?” The cat corrects.

Lamb nods, “Yes, that. I can speak in tongues, how do you do that?”

The Lamb gives the yellow cat a small box. The feline follower opens it to find a single fine golden bell on a soft ribbon necklace. It is expertly engraved with the name Metztli.

Lamb says, their own bell jingling, “I’ve been worrying about her… I just wanted to keep her safe.”

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[dndwriting]

Someone I Used to Know

When Bastian goes to his old friend Draiocht for help, the fire genasi finds similarities between Bastian's party and some old friends of his...

Draiocht had been dealing with the consequences of the now ended war in Calinsham. Having helped people evacuate, he had taken refuge in the church. The last he heard of his old friend Bastian, he had been building some sort of portal to bring those from other dimensions. Whether or not it had been successful is unknown. However, his questions were about to be answered when he heard people enter the church.

"Hello?" he heard an unfamiliar voice's echo. "Is anyone here?" Figuring it was just a random explorer, he made his footsteps prominent as he snuck between each pillar, hoping to scare the person off. When he looked out to peek, he noticed his old friend Bastian and a couple of unsettled looking humans. One of them seemed to be carrying an undead bird. He felt bad for unsettling strangers that were accompanying his friend, so he stepped out, trying not to look intimidating. Bastian simply smiled.

"Hello there, Draiocht." The fire genasi chuckled as his cyan mask covered his face.

"Long time no see, eh Bastian?" he said, shaking hands with the old man. "What can I do for you?"

"Well," Bastian said as he switched hands to hold his cane and rub the back of his neck. "My portal worked a little... too well." Draiocht's eyes widened upon realizing those people accompanying Bastian were not from Taleryn at all.

"Bastian!" Draiocht exclaimed. "How many times do I have to tell you to not mess with planar travel?" Bastian put his hands up.

"I know! I know! That's why I'm here. We found something in Skulltrod that you might want to see." Bastian holds out a chest to Draiocht, to which the genasi opens it. Inside he finds a gold dragon comb with garnet stones that seem to resemble eyes, a jade chess board with gold playing pieces, a black mask stitched with silver, and a handkerchief. Out of everything, Draiocht took the handkerchief out, observing the letters embroidered onto it: S.C. His expression turns to one of worry and curiosity.

"How did this get here?" Draiocht asked. "Last I saw of Silver, he had that handkerchief..."

"I'm not sure," Bastian shrugs. "There should also be a crown in there." Draiocht stuck his hand back in, trying to feel for a crown to no avail.

"There's not a single crown in there." Bastian began to panic for a moment before turning to Cloud with a cold stare.

"Did you steal it again?" Cloud began to sweat a little.

"Nuh uh!-"

"Take off your hat." Defeated, Cloud takes off his hat to reveal a golden crown. Draiocht walks over to Cloud, taking the crown off his head.

"A fellow rogue," he chuckles. "Word of advice next time, get a satchel. I've stolen plenty of artifacts in my time and trust me, it does wonders for such a small bag!" Cloud nods at Draiocht as the genasi looks at the crown, using his hair to light up the room a little more.

"So?" Bastian cuts in. "Is it what I think it is?"

"It's Ralph's crown alright," Draiocht nods. "Silver's probably going to be looking for these things."

"You know where he is?" Jade asks, a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

"I don't," Draiocht sighs. "But I have an idea of where he could be. I'm 90% sure he's at Silverwind's kingdom."

"Well, how do we get there?" Jade looks at Bastian and Draiocht. Bastian went to answer, but the genasi answered first.

"If you all really want to reach Silver... into the woods, you will find a crossroads. Go to the left. When you get to a harbor, you will find two ships: choose the left ship. Trust me, I've been on both, the left is a smoother ride. Once you land in the frigid cold harbor, continue into the woods across the wooden bridge. When you get to the city, stock up on supplies. Then, head straight to the kingdom. There, you'll find the new king and Silver." Everyone took a mental note of the directions before Cloud speaks up.

"This is cool and all, but how do we get home?" Draiocht looks at Bastian. The two walk closer.

"Don't tell me they have to go through-" Bastian says worriedly.

"Unfortunately... I don't see another option." Draiocht solemnly nods.

"Go through where?" Jade cuts in. Draiocht points down at the ground.

"As much as I hate to say this, you may end up in the Underworld at some point or another. Some of the items Bastian needs comes from there. I'd recommend reading up on what goes on down there just in case."

"How would you know?" Cloud asks, stepping closer, dropping Fray in the corner. He approached Draiocht, trying to intimidate him, which did not work in the slightest.

"I've been there before," Draiocht says deadpan. "It's not for the weak. Not many humans end up in hell, so creatures may want to kill you. The place is mainly demons, dragons, and goblins. Well, at least Avernus is."

"Avernus?" Cloud says.

"The first level of hell," Bastian chimes in. "Draiocht has died there before."

"I wasn't even me," Draiocht grumbled. "I was in the vessel of a stupid bird brain-" Before he could finish, Cloud narrows his eyes.

"Are you insulting Fray?" Draiocht paused, looking at Fray still asleep in the corner.

"...why would I insult a sleeping bird? Besides, I was an aaracokra, not an owl." Cloud backed off. Bastian walked over to Draiocht, seemingly holding out his hand for something. The genasi pulled out a piece of paper. "Here, just in case you guys get into a situation in hell." Jade walked over to look at the paper. Bastian opened the paper to find the goblin language written down.

"How did you know about this?" Jade asked. Draiocht cleared his throat, speaking fluent goblin. The party's eyes widened, Bastian's especially. Draiocht laughed at their shock before calming down.

"I've had a few encounters with goblins, so I decided to learn their language. You'll definitely need it in hell."

"Why can't you come with us?" Jade asked. "I mean, you know your way around hell, don't you?"

"I- um-" Draiocht stammered in surprise. "I mean I do, but I don't know how much good it will do you all, especially since I'm more prone to dying in there." Jade shrugged that statement off.

"If we're going to a place, I don't know about you, but I'd like to go with someone who has a good idea of where we're going." There was something about that sentence that set some memory off in Draiocht. Something familiar...

When his party had finally escaped hell and went back to their bodies, they all rejoiced, Draiocht specifically. The fact he was back to normal and not a stupid birdbrain was something he cherished.

"About time!" he sighed, hugging himself happily. "I feel like me again!"

"Speak for yourself, lettuce head!" Vixen said, back as his deertaur self. "At least you didn't change races a thousand times!"

"Well at least you were alive for most of it, Vixen." That sentence caused Vixen to shut up. Draiocht turned around to see his dragonborn friend Iron looking somewhat content as he hugged Kiara. The two had been inseparable in hell. The fact they were back to normal now made Draiocht feel happy for them. After a bit, Kiara turned around to notice Draiocht alive and okay.

"Draiocht!" she called out, running to him and hugging him tightly. Draiocht's happiness took over his thoughts, hugging Kiara back with the same familial love she was giving to him.

"Kiara! Thank gods you're alright!"

"I should be saying that to you, silly!" she laughed. "I mean, you're here and alive!" Kiara eventually let go and turned to the others with a smile. Draiocht stood up straight, looking ahead.

"So what's next?"

"We continue stopping this god war, duh!" Vixen chimed in, making Draiocht's stomach drop.

"Do we have to keep on with this?" Iron complained. "We've been doing this for how long at this point? It's like this will never end!"

"I'm with Iron," Draiocht said. "After what went down in hell, I'm not sure I want to keep doing this." Kiara frowned, grabbing Draiocht's shoulders.

"Hey, we're family. We're going to do this together in hell or high water. Plus, what will Athena think if we just gave up now? You have us, Draiocht. I promise."

As Draiocht snapped out of his memory, he saw Jade looking at him concerned. It was as if she was calling him for a while now.

"Draiocht? Are you alright?" she asked him. All Draiocht could hear was Kiara, his old party member. The one he always saw eye to eye with. There was something about Jade's kindness that just reminded me of her. The genasi smiled gently at Jade.

"I'm alright," he said softly. "You just remind me so much of an old friend of mine. Your whole party does. That hotshot blonde over there reminds me a lot of my pal Vixen, while the sleepy bird reminds me a lot of my friend Iron. You all just have so much in common with people I know. It's like I'm with them again." Jade nodded understandably.

"Well, I'm glad we can provide you with some sort of comfort. Um- do you think me and Cloud can talk in private?" Draiocht and Bastian both nodded, walking out of the church with the box. Bastian leaned against the church's exterior with a sigh.

"They're something special, aren't they?"

"Oh yes," Draiocht smiled. "I'd say keep them close, dear friend. You struck gold like I did. With the party you have, they may get into mischief, but I believe that you will make good memories as I did with mine." Draiocht took out a picture of his old party. They appeared to be in a nice grassy area when they took the picture. He rubbed his thumb across the picture reminiscently. Bastian patted his back.

"I'll protect them as best as I can, I promise." Draiocht nodded as he looked in the church's window, noticing Cloud and Jade talking to an orange butterfly.

"I never thought I'd ever see a butterfly again. Nature doesn't come through here often."

"I think that's just Jade's patron," Bastian said, looking with him.

"Still," Draiocht smiled. "Still a precious sight."

"I agree," Bastian added before looking at Draiocht. "I see what you mean when you said Cloud reminded you of Vixen. You could have sworn he's a bard, but he's not. As for Fray, he's just like Iron. He mainly stays off to the side and he's quiet, but I can tell he has quite the potential."

"We'll have to see in the future, but I believe in them, Bastian. You harnessed a fine party. I know I've said it multiple times, but I mean it."

"I appreciate it, young man." Bastian chuckled at calling Draiocht a young man. He wasn't wrong. Their age gap was insane. While Bastian was 84, Draiocht had lots of life ahead of him at just 27 years old. The two had shared plenty of laughs in the 6 years they knew each other. They shared ambitions, inventions, even tears. The bond the two had were close to what Draiocht would considered as strong as his previous party.

Eventually, Cloud and Jade would walk out of the church, Fray over Cloud's shoulder.

"Welcome back, you two!" Bastian greeted them with a warm smile.

"Yeah, yeah, we're still here," Cloud said dramatically. "Let's just go."

"Cloud!-" Jade elbowed Cloud gently. Draiocht chuckled.

"Yep, just like them."

[dorn-queen-of-thorns]

" A wind of change"

Prolog for " Our future signed in letter"

Time to move on

Paradis the year 857 late summer (1917)

The young woman stands there with a chilled look. She has been invited to the Queen's country estate today by Queen Historia and Diplomat Kiyomi Azumabito. Rather, she was persuaded to do so and brought here. The former members of the alliance will arrive at Paradis in 24 hours and both heads of state are both hoping that Hizuru’s last direct descendant of the shogun will find a capable marriage candidate among them.

The two servants eagerly take the measurements from the 1.78 m tall woman, who has grown a little since the war against Eren Jaeger. She doesn't like the fact that she is taller than all other women. She looks bored with her silver-gray eyes that don't radiate a bit of joy.

The servants have received an order from Diplomat Kijomi to dress up the young lady standing in front of them. The servants are constantly teasing her with their needles, giving her instructions to keep still, and asking questions about which color or fabric she prefers. They dress her up nicely like a docile doll. Ugh!

She doesn't understand why everyone is scurrying around so excitedly and talking in a tour when everything seems dreary to her. How much she misses the quiet of her garden in which she mourns after her memories and in which she can dream of better times. Her oasis of refuge where nobody is welcome, well almost. One is already dead, murdered by her own hands and the other someone she left injured; and until recently she thought that someone had died too. A stab goes through her heart.

You seem to have a lucky hand for men and you seem to treat them wonderfully, she thinks sarcastically about herself.

The background noise of her surroundings brings her back into her reality.

Bored, she listens to the chatter of the two servants, which only consists of gossip:

- " Have you ever heard? Rainer Braun is one of Alliance returnees. According to rumors, he has a weakness for the queen ... "

- " No, not possible. The poor will be disappointed to find out that the queen is already under the hood. But such a liaison would be too complicated between Paradis and Marley. "

- “Or not, it could have been a sign of peace between the two nations. But we still have our second candidate. Rumors say, that one of the Alliance members has a weakness for Miss Mikasa ... This would strengthen the bond between Hizuru and Paradis and create a strong alliance. "

The young Ackermann is not at all interested in the political talk between the two of them. Mikasa just blows a strand of her black hair off her face, bored. She can guess who it is. She expects that Jean will ask for her hand and she has known for years that he is in love with her, but has never been able to find anything romantic about her former comrade and friend. Now he thinks he has a good chance in the hope that she would agree to a marriage out of weakness. Far from it ... Eren is still on her mind ... and also her captain . She never really got off with Eren and her guilty feelings towards Captain Levi wear her down over time. There has never been room for Jean except a feeling of family camaraderie, at best friendship.

The conversation continues:

- “You don't mean the captain, are you? Diplomat Kijomi finds sympathy and prefers him ”, the servant escapes a giggle.

At the mention of the captain she feels deep guilty feelings that cannot be shaken off and she ever regrets talking to him about his request on Falco’s back. She wonders how he would react if he saw her now. She has to admit that she misses him very much. At night she cries for Eren and the captain in her sleep. Again and again she has the dream where she lives in the vastness of nature with someone who has the characteristics of Eren, but also of Captain Levi and leaves her confused after waking up.

She thinks the captain would send her away disappointed for leaving him with Eren's head in her arms.

She feels nauseous at this grotesque sight she has presented to everyone. She's not proud of what she did. But she had no choice, did she?

She had to give Eren an acceptable burial and peace ... Peace that she seeks and wants for herself too.

Other snippets of conversation:

- "Oh, what are you thinking again? Well , he looks good, but who would get involved in such a little stinky boot? No, I mean Officer Kirstein! According to the newspaper articles, this turned out to be a really handsome young man. A leader at that! He would suit her. "

Both servants look expectantly at Mikasa. At best, she reacts in frustration. Mikasa is slowly losing patience. There is no way she can take this conversation any longer. She hates being talked about, but nobody asks for her opinion, even though she stands in front of them. Surely they interpret her silence as a silent admission. The only joy she feels is that she will definitely see Armin again in 24 hours. The second member of her self-chosen family with a little luck and a lot of hope also her former superior.

Armin's letters show that he married his Annie and that they are both expecting their first child in six months. At least one of their trio who has found happiness and peace.

But you don't really count yourself that lucky. Don't be silly, Mikasa! She tells herself.

I don't want any of this, why doesn't anyone here understand me? Tears of anger well up in her.

"Are we done here?" It comes out of her. The servants put everything aside at her request and grant her wish to dismiss her.

As she disappears out the door, she hears a disapproving fragment of conversation:

- "What's the matter with her? She doesn't seem to appreciate the luck, that will drive her again, tomorrow ?! "

Mikasa turns around and looks in disbelief in the face of the cheeky servant.

“You're talking about luck ?!”, she exclaims angrily , “no, you were lucky that I saved your ass and that Armin saved your ass one more time by clearly advocating peaceful, diplomatic solutions. Paradis and the last nations that Paradis could have been dangerous ... How lucky is it to have to live with the burden of having killed a loved one whom one could not save from oneself? “She holds her hand to her forehead in frustration. Her tears run incessantly, “how lucky it is to have left someone who just asked to stay with him and the others. If that means happiness, then it is MY HAPPINESS every night thinking about it and crying myself to sleep ... "

Mikasa says goodbye with the door slamming ...

 

24 hours later:

Mikasa has to sadly discover that not all members of the former alliance have appeared on Paradis.

Captain Levi, the two Marley children and Onyankopon are missing. That the captain did not show says so much about him and her depression pulls her into a deep hole. She hoped to be able to exchange a clear word with him, the need to open up to him is huge in her and she wanted to apologize sincerely to him. Crap!

She sits there, dressed like a doll, feeling out of place, although she is sitting next to Eren's stone, his final resting place. She would like to go back to her garden or be alone with Eren with her thoughts ...

To find some comfort, she pulls Eren's old scarf up to her nose and listens to the conversations in a depressed state. Everyone exchanges old memories with her about Eren. She knows it's meant to be kind, but it doesn't help her much.

"Are you okay, Mikasa?" It is her friend Armin, he and the others look at her with concern.

"It's okay ..." she says thoughtfully, she feels Jean’s pitying look on her and she hates it. She wishes someone else would care for her like that. She sighs in frustration.

Armin watches her , but only says: “I see. Are you coming with us to Historia? It's her daughter's birthday today and we wanted to talk about old times again. "

She doesn't like the idea of visiting Historia and her family at all and notices that in the 3 years she has never seen the queen's daughter. It's almost as if Historia's daughter is a state secret. Everyone is talking about her, but no one has caught a glimpse of her so far, which makes Mikasa extremely skeptical or is the daughter just kept secret from her eyes for a specific reason?

Don't think about that , Mikasa! , she thinks. "Go ahead! I'll be back later, ”and she waves to the others and looks into the distance.

Why didn't you come back with the others? I didn't mean it that way, and she cries into her scarf.

"Mikasa?"

Shit Jean! The hair on the back of Mikasa's neck stands on end and her former comrade crouches down in front of her and comes uncomfortably close to her.

She still perceives someone close to them . It is the former titan shifter of the car titan Piek Finger, who stands a little apart between Mikasa and Jean and also the abandoned group. Apparently she doesn't really know whether to follow Armin and the others or wait for Jean and Mikasa.

Jean timidly takes one of her delicate hands and wipes a tear from her face.

What the hell are you doing ?, Mikasa feels like everything inside of her is cramping together.

"Mikasa, I'm so sorry for you ...", Jean begins, "you shouldn't have been alone here for 3 years and you shouldn't have to be now ..."

She can feel Jean’s gaze on her. She feels that she is starting to sweat and she is uncomfortable with it.

"I wish for you that you find peace and that you can let go of your past and I am always there for you ...", Jean continues. He has to take a deep breath.

“My concern, why I am here, Mikasa. I've always worried about you and I still do. I want to ask you if you like to marry me? "

Mikasa expected Jean’s plan. Standing before a fait accompli hits her with a cold fist in the pit of her stomach. She glances at Piek.

From Piek’s facial expressions, Mikasa can tell that she feels similar to Mikasa, although probably for different reasons.

Mikasa looks at Jean again, who looks at her expectantly. “Oh Jean, that's so nice of you. But please give me two days to think about it! “, Mikasa, you‘re wretched liar! Ugh!

She can see from Jeans facial expressions that he has not expect this answer. Does she see any signs of hurt vanity or grief?

Mikasa is sorry for Jean for rejecting him and now feels guilty about him.

Piek answers: “Come on‘ Jean. Give her some time ... “The mood of the young Marleyr seems a little brighter than it was before. At least it gives the impression to Mikasa.

"Get ahead of you two. I'll be with you in 20 minutes, ”she exchanges a look with Piek, but Jean doesn't notice anything. Mikasa believes that Piek is silently thanking her.

Mikasa is now all alone, she feels that she is not ready to move on and soothingly puts her hand on Eren’s tombstone. A flock of seagulls flies overhead. She looks after them in the distance.

“What do you mean Eren? Should I follow his request or should I rather wait for someone else and take my time? ”As confirmation she sees a seagull separating itself from the group and slowly flying towards her. The bird carefully tugs at her scarf and wraps it around her neck.

When the animal rejoins its group, Mikasa looks after it.

"I guess I can wait a little longer and will have to give myself time," she says thoughtfully and leaves the stone. But instead of following the group, she takes a different route. She wants to go to her home, to her garden. There she can be to herself and no one will disturb her there. When she gets there, she throws herself into the tall grass. Finally she is for herself, finally she is alone ...

Weeping, she falls asleep in the grass, hoping for a cure and better times.

Two hours later…

She feels like someone carefully touches her shoulder, drowsy she thinks to see her former captain above her. A nice dream …

Not yet fully awake, she says: “ Captain ?! "

But she has to realize that it is Armin's ocean blue eyes. He looks at her in surprise, at best he would have expected that she would take him for Eren.

Mikasa is shocked to see what she was actually saying. Frustrated, she holds her hand in front of her face. That can't be true now, can it ???

“No, it's Armin!“ Someone else is here. It's Annie. Great ...! Mikasa looks over at Armin's newlywed wife, startled.

“Mikasa, we've been waiting for you all afternoon and we're worried about you,” Armin speaks gently to his childhood friend. Annie sits down next to them and takes Armin's hand.

Mikasa sees the young couple and their bond. If she had acted differently 3 years ago, she might have had the same.

She can still clearly hear his words “ Stay here with me! “ And a feeling of deepest sadness and remorse comes back to her.

Why couldn't he ask for her hand today instead of Jean? Why can't she let go of Eren? She feels tears start to flow and she can't stop them.

“Mikasa, what's wrong? “, Armin asks her empathetically and Annie also shows her compassion, although both women had a rather hypothermic feeling towards each other.

"I turned Jean down ..." she tells both of them.

"Doesn't surprise me ..." Annie says dryly.

"Annie! That doesn't really help her now… ”, and he carefully takes Mikasa's hand,“ is there something else? ”From Armin's look, Mikasa feels that he already knows enough about her.

"Armin, what should I do? I can't marry Jean ... I don't want him ... ", she looks to the side, depressed.

"Would you like someone else?", Mikasa senses that Armin is hinting at her former superior.

Damn Mikasa! What you want is not right! It doesn't work! She thinks.

She answers Armin with a nod and continues, "He said the words ' Stay with me ‘!"

Armin's eyes widen in surprise and knows who she's talking about, “when? Where? "

Annie can't hide the surprise on her face either.

Mikasa looks at the evening sky, which is red over the three. She clearly remembers the situation when she was alone with him on Falco’s back before she decided to put an end to Eren’s madness.

"He asked me to do so when I was alone with him on Falco’s back before I killed Eren….", The tears begin to suffocate her and she holds her hands in front of her face as if she can hide something from the others. As her tears slowly fade, she continues, “but it doesn't seem to matter anyway. I just disappeared with Eren 3 years ago without saying goodbye and he will have found someone better than me. Today has to be enough for me as an answer ... "

"That's not true!", Annie interferes in the conversation. Mikasa looks at her in surprise.

“Annie, is right! You know, he's still badly injured and his wounds just wouldn't heal. Mikasa, he didn't have the strength to come here. Otherwise he would have come back to you with us today ”, Armin tries to encourage her.

Mikasa pensively tugs at a blade of grass, “what should I do? I wanted to apologize to him today and now I can't tell him the words… ” Mikasa's cheeks turn red at the admission.

"Is it that so important to you? “, Armin looks at her understandingly. Mikasa nods silently in confirmation.

“Just write to him a letter !” He suggests.

"Write?", The idea could have come much earlier, "but what if he does reject me of disappointment or at best simply ignores me ?" Mikasa's thoughts roll over and thinks that he will reject her.

"Then at least you will know his answer to that. But I don't think he reacts that way ... “, Armin has a knowing smile on his lips. He also knows his former captain well and he knows that he is attached to his former subordinates, especially Mikasa ...

Mikasa's behavior today ultimately confirmed that Mikasa felt the same way.

His girlfriend is playing thoughtfully with the blade of grass. “I need help with that,” she mumbles. Her writing and grammar is not the best. She can barely read and write, and the writings outside the wall are even more difficult for her. She has learned it, but it is not easy for her.

“I'll help you with it, it's not difficult. In fact, the two scriptures are very similar. I think it will be better if we learn the new scriptures with you, it will also distract you from your own grief. What do you think? ”He asks her.

Mikasa's eyes start to shine, "would you do that?"

Armin holds her hand with both hands, "we'll start with it tomorrow if you want!"

Mikasa looks at the couple, "Annie, are you agree, if I would spending so much time with Armin?"

Mikasa feels that she should ask for her consent. There is no way she wants Annie to misunderstand anything. The young Marleyr smiles at her, “No, it's okay for me. I also need some time for myself and this is the opportunity for me. I don't have to feel guilty about not being there for Armin ... ”and her hand wanders to her stomach.

Mikasa recognizes the gesture and smiles at her, "I understand!"

 

Armin and Mikasa meet the next day to implement her plan and it is not at all easy for Mikasa to deal with the new font again. She tried years ago, but only half-heartedly. What she regrets now. Armin is patient with her and repeatedly gives her courage and praise.

"Oh Armin, that doesn't work that way! What should he think of me? Is that a 10-year-old trying to write to him? Although a kid would probably do better… ”, Mikasa is frustrated with her own attempt. Her writing is scary and full of errors ...

" Thats why I'm here. Take your time. You don't have any pressure behind you and you don't have to finish the letter today ”, his words of courage to speak.

“Do you think he would wait that long for me?” She asks Armin, uncertain.

"I can already imagine that with him," Armin looks thoughtful, "but you will only get an answer to that", and he points back to the letter that has begun. Mikasa understands the gesture and it tells her not to give up. Sighing, she goes on with her work.

On the second day, however, Mikasa has to suspend class with Armin. Jean is waiting for her answer and she has known from the start how to answer his request. Now she is losing the courage to ... But just agreeing to a marriage out of fear of his hurt feelings does not seem right to her. She also has to be pure with such a life decision and she definitely is not. She goes to the hotel where all Alliance members have quartered. It occurs to her that Jean’s mother lives in Trost and that he probably lives with her. She'd better choose the direction to Trost.

She meets Piek on the same way . She wants to go see Jean. It occurs to Mikasa to use Piek to convey the message.

That's not nice, thinks Mikasa. But it would also finally be a way for Jean to let go of her and Piek would be the perfect reason for that. Unlike herself, she is small and sweet as sugar with her wild, black, curly hair. Even back then, when everyone was sitting on Falco's back, Mikasa felt how both of them had established a bond with each other.

Piek's temper is a lot happier than her own. She could get Jean out of his grief ...

"Piek, wait!" She calls out to her. The little woman looks at Mikasa in surprise. Mikasa sees the concern reflected in Piek's face.

“I have to talk to you about Jean…”, Mikasa, embarrassed, takes a strand in front of her face, “you heard what Jean asked me to do. What do you think about the whole thing? "

Mikasa sees how the blush builds up on her cheeks in Piek's face. HIT!

Piek seems shy and embarrassed towards her. Mikasa has to take a deep breath. She is not proud of her request.

Mikasa pulls her scarf over her nose, "I want to ask you something ..."

Piek finds her voice back, "for what?"

“I would like to ask you to tell him that I cannot marry him. Unfortunately, I don't feel the way he would like and there is definitely someone who has such feelings for him and will be there for him …" , Mikasa looks at Piek expectantly.

Piek takes one of her hands, relieved, “ don't worry. I'll tell him about it. ” When Piek wants to go on her way, she gives Mikasa one last look. Mikasa has the impression that she wants to express "thank you".

It's time to let go and move on! , she thinks of Jean and ultimately also of herself and her own past with Eren. With this sad, but also liberating thought, she goes back to Armin the next day. He's already waiting for her with a cup of tea.

Armin looks at her relief to some extent, "Are you okay ?"

"Mhmm, I asked Piek to convey the message to Jean that I will not agree to his request," remembering this aromatic drink she has to think of someone else again. She tries to cover up her own blush with the cup.

" Understand. So you also noticed that Piek wasn't happy when Jean asked you? "Armin comments on the subject.

“Jean should be caught if he receives my refusal and Piek could be the right one for the job. Each of us has to move on and let go, ”says Mikasa calmly.

" And what about you? Will you move on? ”, Armin looks at her expectantly.

Mikasa looks to the side, embarrassed, and pulls her scarf up to her cheeks, which cannot completely hide her blush, "maybe ..." she says shyly.

In response, Armin smiles, "then we should continue with your letter."

It took a good two weeks until she had an acceptable letter in front of her. But unfortunately, apart from a few politeness phrases, it doesn't contain anything. Depressed about her work, she loses her courage for her project.

“Armin, I can't do that! I can't send something like that to him, there is nothing special in it ... Just superficial stuff ... “, Armin takes a look at the short letter. He sees how much effort she has put into her neat handwriting and reads the sentence "You are often on my mind…"

This sentence says a lot about her. Does she even realize how much she‘s going to say with it?

He carefully takes her hands, "Mikasa, please just have a little self-confidence. In truth, you two are not the most talkative, but rather the quiet listeners. The captain knows that too and, unlike him, you have the courage to take the first step. This says a lot about you and if his words were honest and sincere with you three years ago, he will appreciate it. No matter how much you've written. "

Mikasa's eyes brighten a little, "do you think so?"

" Believe me! At the end of the day, you have certainty for yourself and can close it if he turns you down. But I don't even think so… ”, he encourages her.

Tears of emotion come up in her, "Armin ..."

The next day she goes to the post office with Armin to send the letter. Reluctantly, she stands in front of the mailbox. If she throws it in now, there is no going back for her.

Armin notices that she is struggling with herself. He waits patiently. He knows she's afraid of the answer. She stands in front of the mailbox with a trembling hand and just can't let go of the letter.

"Armin ... Is it the right thing to do?"

"What would happen if you didn't send the letter?", Armin watches her patiently. She thinks, “nothing would change. I would probably ask myself if I would miss this opportunity and regret never daring to take this step. I don't want to end up with someone I don't know, just not have to be alone in the end ... "

There is a thoughtful silence between them.

"What would Eren think of that?", Mikasa looks at Armin doubtfully.

Both of them grieve at the thought of their best friend. It hurts that the third of her trio is missing. She looks at Armin sadly, “at least we still have each other. He has no one in London after the 13th and 14th Commander both died years ago. I'm just sorry for him how things happened. ”Her cheeks turned red at her admission.

"Is he that important to you?", He smiles at her empathetically.

Mikasa looks at him with sparkling eyes and nods in response to his question.

Armin lifts his arm and touches her hand with his hand, “then just let go. Believe me, everything will be fine. "

This is the last nudge she needed to send her letter on its way in the hope that everything will change for the better.

[readerbookclub]

Hello everyone :) I’m back with a new book list. This month, we’ve got books all about books. Bookception!

As always, please vote for your favourite using the link at the bottom of the post. 

Ex Libris: Confessions of a Common Reader, by Anne Fadiman

Anne Fadiman is (by her own admission) the sort of person who learned about sex from her father's copy of Fanny Hill, whose husband buys her 19 pounds of dusty books for her birthday, and who once found herself poring over her roommate's 1974 Toyota Corolla manual because it was the only written material in the apartment that she had not read at least twice. This witty collection of essays recounts a lifelong love affair with books and language. For Fadiman, as for many passionate readers, the books she loves have become chapters in her own life story. Writing with remarkable grace, she revives the tradition of the well-crafted personal essay, moving easily from anecdotes about Coleridge and Orwell to tales of her own pathologically literary family. As someone who played at blocks with her father's 22-volume set of Trollope ("My Ancestral Castles") and who only really considered herself married when she and her husband had merged collections ("Marrying Libraries"), she is exquisitely well equipped to expand upon the art of inscriptions, the perverse pleasures of compulsive proof-reading, the allure of long words, and the satisfactions of reading out loud. There is even a foray into pure literary gluttony: Charles Lamb liked buttered muffin crumbs between the leaves, and Fadiman knows of more than one reader who literally consumes page corners. Perfectly balanced between humor and erudition, Ex Libris establishes Fadiman as one of our finest contemporary essayists.

The Reading List, by Sara Nisha Adams

Widower Mukesh lives a quiet life in the London Borough of Ealing after losing his beloved wife. He shops every Wednesday, goes to Temple, and worries about his granddaughter, Priya, who hides in her room reading while he spends his evenings watching nature documentaries. Aleisha is a bright but anxious teenager working at the local library for the summer when she discovers a crumpled-up piece of paper in the back of To Kill a Mockingbird. It’s a list of novels that she’s never heard of before. Intrigued, and a little bored with her slow job at the checkout desk, she impulsively decides to read every book on the list, one after the other. As each story gives up its magic, the books transport Aleisha from the painful realities she’s facing at home. When Mukesh arrives at the library, desperate to forge a connection with his bookworm granddaughter, Aleisha passes along the reading list… hoping that it will be a lifeline for him too. Slowly, the shared books create a connection between two lonely souls, as fiction helps them escape their grief and everyday troubles and find joy again.

Lost For Words, by Stephanie Butland

Loveday Cardew prefers books to people. If you look closely, you might glimpse the first lines of the novels she loves most tattooed on her skin. But there are things she'll never show you. Fifteen years ago Loveday lost all she knew and loved in one unspeakable night. Now, she finds refuge in the unique little York bookshop where she works. Everything is about to change for Loveday. Someone knows about her past. Someone is trying to send her a message. And she can't hide any longer.

Words in Deep Blue, by Cath Crowley

Years ago, Rachel had a crush on Henry Jones. The day before she moved away, she tucked a love letter into his favorite book in his family’s bookshop. She waited. But Henry never came. Now Rachel has returned to the city—and to the bookshop—to work alongside the boy she’d rather not see, if at all possible, for the rest of her life. But Rachel needs the distraction, and the escape. Her brother drowned months ago, and she can’t feel anything anymore. She can't see her future. Henry's future isn't looking too promising, either. His girlfriend dumped him. The bookstore is slipping away. And his family is breaking apart. As Henry and Rachel work side by side—surrounded by books, watching love stories unfold, exchanging letters between the pages—they find hope in each other. Because life may be uncontrollable, even unbearable sometimes. But it’s possible that words, and love, and second chances are enough.

The Midnight Library, by Matt Haig

Somewhere out beyond the edge of the universe there is a library that contains an infinite number of books, each one the story of another reality. One tells the story of your life as it is, along with another book for the other life you could have lived if you had made a different choice at any point in your life. While we all wonder how our lives might have been, what if you had the chance to go to the library and see for yourself? Would any of these other lives truly be better? Nora Seed finds herself faced with this decision. Faced with the possibility of changing her life for a new one, following a different career, undoing old breakups, realizing her dreams of becoming a glaciologist; she must search within herself as she travels through the Midnight Library to decide what is truly fulfilling in life, and what makes it worth living in the first place.

Please vote here.

[mysterymanjoseph]

Opening Night: mysterymanjoseph and for-yun

Concerts were just not a thing for Joseph, but, this pop group was a huge thing in Asia, and the promotional company that his family's corporation owns a bit of stock in decided to bring the group to the states. He was invited to the VIP lounge to watch the show, and his executive assistant at corporate h.q., Janet, insisted he go, rather than spend another few days alone at the empty country estate. So, he went to the West coast, his special Grand Cherokee taking a trip on one of the cargo planes the corporation owns as well. Once settled into the hotel, he waits for the night of the concert, and when the show starts has to admit, even if the genre of music is not to his taste, the huge crowd is eating up the performance. As the encore is going on, he thinks, "Well, seems like the person who came up with this U.S. tour idea earned a big bonus." With that, his cell vibrates, and pulling it out, reads a disturbing message from Janet, marked 'UGENT'. It seems the cyber guys at corporate, who always have feelers out for what is going on internet wise, have been getting terrifying reports from sources in East Asia. It seems there is a cyber attack going on, but, the strange twist is, those nations that were feared would be the ones to launch one, seem to have suffered the first stages of it, and the attack is spreading, not fast, but constant. This was the sort of thing that Joseph's grandfather feared would eventually happen. Back in the 90's, at the birth of the internet and start of the development of 'high tech', the old man commissioned a think tank on the vulnerabilities society might have in the future. After the study was completed, the corporation, and the family and staff, were getting ready well before anyone heard the term Y2K. That particular event did not happen, but, every few years, the study was updated, and the conclusions got far, far worse. So, the preparations continued, alternate back up systems, without micro chips, and refuges for the family to stay and 'ride things out', were built across the nation, in case something happened while traveling. Joseph learned all of this after returning from his service in the Marines, being given a sealed letter from his grandfather after the reading of his grandparents will. He was shocked, but, the old man made too much sense to just ignore. Now, it was happening. Sending a reply to Janet, he ordered that the Level One Protocols be initiated, the corporation, all branches and assets, would unplug from the net, go independent, everyone goes home, with pay, and the buildings will be locked down until things stabilize. That done, he messages Janet to go home, and take care of herself and family. Putting his phone away, he thinks, "Well, might be some time before things go sideways here, running off in a panic will do not good." "Can wait, let the parking lot clear, then leave, just stay calm." The encore is over, and he thinks, "The calm before the storm though."

@for-yun

[terrence-silver]

Hi! Could you write a fic about beloved comforting Terry after Daniel rejected his apology? I love reading your blog it's one of my favorite sites.

---

-"Not everyone has to forgive you."-

You coo tenderly, fingers smoothing the outline of his hair, tied at the nape of his neck; the rare occasion Terry lets himself be like this, behind closed doors, on a leather loveseat that served as his refuge and sole confessional, head on your shoulder after he's returned with John from settling terms and drawing out the city's turf in finely established terms and conditions, doing so on Miyago-Do territory specifically --- a little flex of power and him and John playing dirty for old time's sake, admittedly. But, he hasn't got all he wanted during negotiations, as it were. Not by a longshot, having thrown everything at the situation to see what sticks and willing to adapt accordingly to whatever did, even being sorry, if being sorry was what worked. If being sorry was what it took to the point he'd almost imagine feeling what sorry meant. -"And that's entirely fine. Life goes on."- You continue with a soft murmur, clearly missing the point why he was in such a sour mood to begin with. He has to interject mutely, never lifting his cheek or his face, staring off into some blank point on the wall. Unblinking. He hasn't really blinked much since come back. A portion of his weight leaning on you. Life goes on. Life goes on, huh? Life never goes on. Not really. Life has been standing still for Terry since time immemorial.

-"No, it doesn't."-

Is all Terry says.

-"It doesn't go on."- He adds, somewhat galvanized. -"Wanna know why?"-

Finishing off with a question while playing with your fingers, he's agitated. He supposed it wasn't the lack of forgiveness on Daniel Larusso's part that bothered him as much as the act that he was so thoroughly seen and fundamentally perceived by someone, specifically in a bad light, and that he had no control or say in the image carried forthwith into the world, spread around, like a virus. He couldn't just take Larusso's brain, the contents inside of it and reset it like a machine. Like a robot. Turn it off and turn it back on again. Alter, erase and change memories, conclusions and sensations as he deemed fit, for the sake of humor, maybe. What happened over thirty years ago happened and that perception would infuriatingly remain, etched right where it was. Without budging. A sorry was just a symbol. A formality. A gateway. Four letters that carried an universe of possibilities with it. Terry Silver couldn't have given less of a damn if he was forgiven. What irked him --- what really irked him, was the inertia being so definitely deduced by someone came with. And so, Daniel Larusso had to be destroyed. If his mind couldn't be changed, well fine --- his mind would be gone along with everything else he held dear, and it would've been because Terry's hand was pushed.

After all, extreme measures require ---

-"Because not capitulating can only mean a declaration of war."-

Terry whispers, decisively, your hand still caressing him. He didn't want anyone's pardon. He was a grown man and he did much worse than rough up some kid back in '85. He wanted no pardon because he didn't regret what he did, regardless what he said or how he looked when he said it.

He wanted the enemy's surrender. Is what he wanted. The enemy didn't surrender.

And so, the enemy would fall.

[anotherdaveyjacobs]

Last night I saw a local production of Newsies

here are my notes!! (1000000/10, this was AMAZING)

the opening was so funny because they read the theatre rules like headlines (turn off your phone, etc) but the best one was about using the emergency exits and not rushing the stage, because of the fire curtain, it would be "great for readership, bad for you" 💀

important things to note: jack, davey, katherine, and race are played by college students. crutchie and buttons are played by 8th graders. the rest of the newsies, the delanceys, spot, bill, and darcy are all played by high school students. les is played by a 5th grader. the adults are played by adults.

(i didn't know any of this until minutes before the show, but they were on par with a full cast of adults imo)

tommy boy, henry, splasher, mush, ike, jo jo, and finch are all played by girls!! they did amazing

Pulitzer's cabinet is also all women!!!

When Jack is running from the Delanceys in the beginning, he did this cute little jump and wink at the audience, ran off, and when he came back he shushed the audience like we were gonna tell the Delanceys where he went

Race forgot his line ("don't worry kid it rubs right off") so Jack jumped in and said it for him

Buttons had little buttons sewn all over his suspenders and it was adorable

Medda was AMAZING oh my god I loved her so much

the bowrey beauties costumes matched hers, it was gorgeous

Watch What Happens was AMAZING. Katherine's actress sounded just like Kara Lindsay it's uncanny. She starts at her little desk and then moves her typewriter to Pulitzer's desk to get her inspiration. She also goes to take a drink of the alcohol on his desk, but puts it down once she smells it

During Jack's speech before the fight, the Delanceys are making fun of him (pretending to cry, yawning, etc.)

The fight scene was extremely short (no real pause between the start of the fight and the police showing up) but it was still really good

Crutchie gets carried away over a shoulder like a sack of potatoes (it was so fucking funny, I really struggled not to laugh)

Snyder gets face to face with Jack at the end of the strike but just has this evil laugh right in Jack's face before Jack runs away

Santa Fe??? CHILLS. he was SO GOOD. he pauses to heave breaths like he's crying and i.

Mr. Jacobi thought he was hilarious with his "fish in the desert" comment and repeated it to himself as he walked offstage

This production it was "there's a headline even Race could sell" 💀 poor Race (there was no Elmer in this show)

KONY was amazing. the bit where Katherine and Les have their little tap competition happens and then they like do a few twirls together it was so cute

Letter from the Refuge was excellent, Crutchie was on the top bunk with two newsies on the bottom. When the song swells the first time, they're gesturing at each other like neither wanted to be the one to tell him to shut up, it was amazing

During WWH Reprise when Jack calls Pulitzer a snake, he reaches back and grabs a fist full of Davey's shirt, who then has to get Jack's attention, and Jack smooths it down all apologetic like. love it

Also during WWH Reprise, DAVEY is the one who sings the "we've got Jack" line

Spot's voice was AMAZING

Jack doesn't shove or almost hit Les during the rally, but during the chaos of everyone running away and calling Jack a traitor and a sellout, Davey and Les are left standing in the middle of an empty stage looking lost and betrayed. STUNNING

Something To Believe In was really good, they harmonized so well together, Jack really belted the last "me" at the end and his voice just. ugh i loved it

Jack tried to spit shake Roosevelt so Davey and Spot LEAPT forward to grab his hand and stop him. Davey wiped Jack's hand with his hand, and then wiped his hand on his pants, and Davey and Spot were talking quietly amongst themselves while gesturing at Jack. iconic

"He doesn't do happiness does he" and Katherine shook her head like "yeah no"

Jack's mocking of Pulitzer "it's a compromise we can all live with" was perfect

Roosevelt had the funniest fucking fake moustache, it was this big black thing oh my god, i went back to the IG to check and he was NOT wearing it in the photo they posted, no idea what that was about lmao

Anyway the whole show was amazing and today's the last day of it, so I'm really glad I caught it when I did

[badlydrawndrawnings]

*sees that blue-hair student is a Persona User*

*curious to know about his Persona and what it means for the game*

Okay, so a quick search tells me that his Persona, Mandrin, is very likely to be one Louis Mandrin, was a French smuggler/highway man/French Robin Hood (another Robin Hood-like figure!) who was from Dauphiné, located in the southwest of France. Louis Mandrin hated the tax collectors, (which at the time was until the Old Regime that lasted from circa 1500 to the French Revolution of 1789).

In 1753, Louis Mandrin and a friend got arrested for a brawl and Louis Mandrin escaped, for on that same day, his brother was hanged for counterfeiting,  and Mandrin escaped, but on swore a personal war against the tax collectors.

Louis Mandrin then joined a gang of smugglers that was in the Cantons of Switzerland, France, ans Savoy, which at the time its own territory state. The gang smuggled bought the goods in Switzerland, and then sold them to the French population that didn’t involve taxes. Also apparently Louis Mandrin and his gang robbed the tax collectors, especially the unpopular ones. This allowed the gang to get lots of local support, but it had the tax collectors wanting Mandrin’s head.

So Louis Mandrin took refuge in Savoy. Remember how I said it was its own territory state? Well, the French tax collectors wanted Louis Mandrin’s head so badly, they sent in 500 men into Savoy in disguises to do that (help that two of Louis Mandrin’s own gang members sold him out). The Duke of Savoy and King of Sardinia, Charles Emmanuel III, didn’t approve of this AT ALL, and sent a letter to the King Louis the XV to return Mandrin back, but before the message could be sent, the tax collectors basically speed-run the trial to execute the guy.

Interesting here that this Persona goes back to the theming of the initial three Personas we know of: Jánošík, Awilda, and Rob Roy. They’re outlaws of sorts. The second set of Personas we learned of are Leucothea, Terpsichore, and Styx. They’re from Greak mythology.

I think it’s possible the blue-hair student, not using his name because it seems it’s still unknown at the moment due to different possible translations of the kanji of his name, joins after the initial first Palace. Maybe he’s the fourth party member. Or the fifth, for there’s still that unknown female party member left we don’t know about.

That, or there’s two groups of Persona users in P5x that start out as rivals, but eventually have to join forces to defeat in the new threat of the Metaverse. Group One is the new ‘PT’ of sorts, consisting of Wonder, Cattle, Closer, the Blue-Hair Student, and Unknown Female Persona User. Group Two is the ‘Classic Theme’ users, consisting of Seiji, Mont, Yuki, and maybe Unknown Male Star Arcana User.

Or I could be wrong on both accounts. Still, this gave me a lot to think about!

[shroomoth]

Here is the letter from the founder for those who want to read it.

Dear strangers,

From the moment I discovered the Internet at a young age, it has been a magical place to me. Growing up in a small town, relatively isolated from the larger world, it was a revelation how much more there was to discover – how many interesting people and ideas the world had to offer.

As a young teenager, I couldn’t just waltz onto a college campus and tell a student: “Let’s debate moral philosophy!” I couldn’t walk up to a professor and say: “Tell me something interesting about microeconomics!” But online, I was able to meet those people, and have those conversations. I was also an avid Wikipedia editor; I contributed to open source software projects; and I often helped answer computer programming questions posed by people many years older than me.

In short, the Internet opened the door to a much larger, more diverse, and more vibrant world than I would have otherwise been able to experience; and enabled me to be an active participant in, and contributor to, that world. All of this helped me to learn, and to grow into a more well-rounded person.

Moreover, as a survivor of childhood rape, I was acutely aware that any time I interacted with someone in the physical world, I was risking my physical body. The Internet gave me a refuge from that fear. I was under no illusion that only good people used the Internet; but I knew that, if I said “no” to someone online, they couldn’t physically reach through the screen and hold a weapon to my head, or worse. I saw the miles of copper wires and fiber-optic cables between me and other people as a kind of shield – one that empowered me to be less isolated than my trauma and fear would have otherwise allowed.

I launched Omegle when I was 18 years old, and still living with my parents. It was meant to build on the things I loved about the Internet, while introducing a form of social spontaneity that I felt didn’t exist elsewhere. If the Internet is a manifestation of the “global village”, Omegle was meant to be a way of strolling down a street in that village, striking up conversations with the people you ran into along the way.

The premise was rather straightforward: when you used Omegle, it would randomly place you in a chat with someone else. These chats could be as long or as short as you chose. If you didn’t want to talk to a particular person, for whatever reason, you could simply end the chat and – if desired – move onto another chat with someone else. It was the idea of “meeting new people” distilled down to almost its platonic ideal.

Building on what I saw as the intrinsic safety benefits of the Internet, users were anonymous to each other by default. This made chats more self-contained, and made it less likely that a malicious person would be able to track someone else down off-site after their chat ended.

I didn’t really know what to expect when I launched Omegle. Would anyone even care about some Web site that an 18 year old kid made in his bedroom in his parents’ house in Vermont, with no marketing budget? But it became popular almost instantly after launch, and grew organically from there, reaching millions of daily users. I believe this had something to do with meeting new people being a basic human need, and with Omegle being among the best ways to fulfill that need. As the saying goes: “If you build a better mousetrap, the world will beat a path to your door.”

Over the years, people have used Omegle to explore foreign cultures; to get advice about their lives from impartial third parties; and to help alleviate feelings of loneliness and isolation. I’ve even heard stories of soulmates meeting on Omegle, and getting married. Those are only some of the highlights.

Unfortunately, there are also lowlights. Virtually every tool can be used for good or for evil, and that is especially true of communication tools, due to their innate flexibility. The telephone can be used to wish your grandmother “happy birthday”, but it can also be used to call in a bomb threat. There can be no honest accounting of Omegle without acknowledging that some people misused it, including to commit unspeakably heinous crimes.

I believe in a responsibility to be a “good Samaritan”, and to implement reasonable measures to fight crime and other misuse. That is exactly what Omegle did. In addition to the basic safety feature of anonymity, there was a great deal of moderation behind the scenes, including state-of-the-art AI operating in concert with a wonderful team of human moderators. Omegle punched above its weight in content moderation, and I’m proud of what we accomplished.

Omegle’s moderation even had a positive impact beyond the site. Omegle worked with law enforcement agencies, and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, to help put evildoers in prison where they belong. There are “people” rotting behind bars right now thanks in part to evidence that Omegle proactively collected against them, and tipped the authorities off to.

All that said, the fight against crime isn’t one that can ever truly be won. It’s a never-ending battle that must be fought and re-fought every day; and even if you do the very best job it is possible for you to do, you may make a sizable dent, but you won’t “win” in any absolute sense of that word. That’s heartbreaking, but it’s also a basic lesson of criminology, and one that I think the vast majority of people understand on some level. Even superheroes, the fictional characters that our culture imbues with special powers as a form of wish fulfillment in the fight against crime, don’t succeed at eliminating crime altogether.

In recent years, it seems like the whole world has become more ornery. Maybe that has something to do with the pandemic, or with political disagreements. Whatever the reason, people have become faster to attack, and slower to recognize each other’s shared humanity. One aspect of this has been a constant barrage of attacks on communication services, Omegle included, based on the behavior of a malicious subset of users.

To an extent, it is reasonable to question the policies and practices of any place where crime has occurred. I have always welcomed constructive feedback; and indeed, Omegle implemented a number of improvements based on such feedback over the years. However, the recent attacks have felt anything but constructive. The only way to please these people is to stop offering the service. Sometimes they say so, explicitly and avowedly; other times, it can be inferred from their act of setting standards that are not humanly achievable. Either way, the net result is the same.

Omegle is the direct target of these attacks, but their ultimate victim is you: all of you out there who have used, or would have used, Omegle to improve your lives, and the lives of others. When they say Omegle shouldn’t exist, they are really saying that you shouldn’t be allowed to use it; that you shouldn’t be allowed to meet random new people online. That idea is anathema to the ideals I cherish – specifically, to the bedrock principle of a free society that, when restrictions are imposed to prevent crime, the burden of those restrictions must not be targeted at innocent victims or potential victims of crime.

Consider the idea that society ought to force women to dress modestly in order to prevent rape. One counter-argument is that rapists don’t really target women based on their clothing; but a more powerful counter-argument is that, irrespective of what rapists do, women’s rights should remain intact. If society robs women of their rights to bodily autonomy and self-expression based on the actions of rapists – even if it does so with the best intentions in the world – then society is practically doing the work of rapists for them.

Fear can be a valuable tool, guiding us away from danger. However, fear can also be a mental cage that keeps us from all of the things that make life worth living. Individuals and families must be allowed to strike the right balance for themselves, based on their own unique circumstances and needs. A world of mandatory fear is a world ruled by fear – a dark place indeed.

I’ve done my best to weather the attacks, with the interests of Omegle’s users – and the broader principle – in mind. If something as simple as meeting random new people is forbidden, what’s next? That is far and away removed from anything that could be considered a reasonable compromise of the principle I outlined. Analogies are a limited tool, but a physical-world analogy might be shutting down Central Park because crime occurs there – or perhaps more provocatively, destroying the universe because it contains evil. A healthy, free society cannot endure when we are collectively afraid of each other to this extent.

Unfortunately, what is right doesn’t always prevail. As much as I wish circumstances were different, the stress and expense of this fight – coupled with the existing stress and expense of operating Omegle, and fighting its misuse – are simply too much. Operating Omegle is no longer sustainable, financially nor psychologically. Frankly, I don’t want to have a heart attack in my 30s.

The battle for Omegle has been lost, but the war against the Internet rages on. Virtually every online communication service has been subject to the same kinds of attack as Omegle; and while some of them are much larger companies with much greater resources, they all have their breaking point somewhere. I worry that, unless the tide turns soon, the Internet I fell in love with may cease to exist, and in its place, we will have something closer to a souped-up version of TV – focused largely on passive consumption, with much less opportunity for active participation and genuine human connection. If that sounds like a bad idea to you, please consider donating to the Electronic Frontier Foundation, an organization that fights for your rights online.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who used Omegle for positive purposes, and to everyone who contributed to the site’s success in any way. I’m so sorry I couldn’t keep fighting for you.

Sincerely,

Leif K-Brooks

Founder, Omegle.com LLC

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#44 Dawn and the Big Sleepover: Chapter 2

A typical Chapter 2 with one of the worst Claudia outfits ever and that's saying something.

The Pike Army gets down to business writing letters and have decided what they'll send. Adam's sending the pennant after all, Nicky's sending the decals (stickers!), Byron's going to take pictures of the family, Vanessa's going to write a poem, and Jordan's going to tape record himself playing piano. Margo still doesn't know...well, since those last two are following their one personality trait, why doesn't Margo just puke in a jar and mail it?

As Dawn walks home, she can't stop thinking about how fascinating the Zuni are and is pretty jealous of the kids. She whines a bit about how she wishes the middle school did it too and goes into the house, pouting. Mary Anne takes one look at Dawn and thinks the Pikes tortured her. And look at how one-note Margo is - one of Mary Anne's guesses as to what happened was Margo got sick!

Sharon and Richard are in the kitchen together cooking a casserole and Dawn breathes a sigh of relief when she sees Richard's the one doing most of the work. She says Sharon's cooking is "eat at your own risk." She's definitely added dish soap while cooking before. While they finish cooking, Dawn complains about how she wants a pen pal on the Zuni reservation too. Mary Anne quotes her dad and says "Youth is wasted on the young" (you're, at most, six years older than these kids) and suggests Dawn write to the elementary school to get a pen pal of her own in the middle school.

Dawn praises Mary Anne for such a wonderful idea. It's the most logical one, Dawn. What's with these girls calling any idea someone thinks of brilliant? At this point, I'm skipping past the story of how Dawn and Mary Anne became sisters, because we've all heard it more times than necessary. The only thing of note is this is one of the books that takes place during Logan and Mary Anne's brief estrangement. The way Dawn describes him is hilarious: ...she's the only one of us BSC members who has ever had a steady boyfriend. His name was (is - Mary Anne broke up with him but he's still alive) Logan Bruno.

"He's still alive." Though I wouldn't put it past the BSC to kidnap him, throw him in the back of the Junk Bucket, and have Charlie drive him out to the desert, where he "mysteriously disappears." You don't mess with a BSC member on Kristy's watch!

You probably want to know about the other club members. No thanks, I'll pass, Dawn. Well, the BSC made me feel totally welcome. Everyone was open and friendly, which was great, because nothing turns me off more than cliques where everyone dresses and sounds alike. Please. The BSC is definitely a clique and in some books, they're downright cult-like.

Skimming time! Let's see if we find anything interesting.

Dawn lets her blunt side show and says Kristy is bossy, instead of the "She kinda sorta has a big mouth!" thing we see other times. And she describes Kristy's family story as a fairy tale called The Saga of Kristy. She laughs at the thought of Watson the Millionaire sweeping Elizabeth off her feet because he's balding and quiet and likes gardening. I think the garden is his refuge away from Karen - notice how he's out there all the time? Or, really, avoiding Karen at all costs whenever she's at the Big House? No wonder she's always acting out.

Oh here we go - a Claudia outfit description! And it's one of the worst Claudia outfits in the whole series. For instance, she walked into school today wearing a bright yellow oversize men's jacket with rolled-up sleeves; a wide paisley tie right out of the nineteen-sixties; orange stirrup pants; ankle boots; and huge hoop earrings - and you know what? On her, it looked totally cool. Um, no it doesn't! Also a bright yellow men's jacket, orange stirrup pants and a tie makes it sound like she was cosplaying as Big Bird.

Which is appropriate since Claudia probably says the alphabet the same way Big Bird does.

No outfit descriptions from Stacey, but Dawn bastardizes New York City with some stereotypes. Apparently having a map of NYC and an alternate side parking calendar on your wall makes you a true New Yorker. And no (ew, ick!) when talking about Stacey's diabeetus either.

Mallory already got her description in the previous chapter, but Jessi's is here. Did you know she's *gasp* the BSC's only black member? Because she is. Poor junior officers, they get like no description except for their one personality trait. Jessi and even Mallory deserve better than that!

The chapter ends with the Schafer-Spiers having dinner. I don't know if I'd trust Sharon filling a water pitcher, Dawn - she might fill it with vinegar instead.