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fakecrfan · 4 years ago

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POV: You wake up in the TMA universe at the start of season 1.

You find yourself on the streets of London, cold and confused.

You try to figure out what happened and get home. You discover the place you lived no longer exists. The place you worked no longer exists.

You try to call the numbers of family, friends, anyone you knew. Baffled voices that you don’t recognize answer you, and then hang up.

As you're wandering around the streets getting increasingly terrified, you pass by the Magnus Institute. Then, everything makes sense.

You hurry in and blurt out: "I would like to make a statement"

Rosie smiles politely.

“Alright, let’s get you the proper forms then.”

She tells you that the Archivist, Jonathan Sims, will see you in a moment. As you are waiting for him, you recall what happens to people who give statements to Jonathan Sims. Unceasing bad dreams. Unrelenting panic attacks. Enough that Jess Tyrell stopped being able to go out in public.

"Ah," you think. "I will not do that then."

You leave in a hurry. Outside, you realize:

oh, I'm the only one who can stop the apocalypse now, aren't i

You shiver. That thought can wait, you think. For now you need to find... somewhere to stay. You are effectively homeless. No, not effectively. You are straight up homeless.

You pull out your wallet to pay for food. Your card is declined. You try to use cash, only to be told it’s counterfeit. Everything is just a little too much to the left of your reality for you to navigate.

Finally you find social services of some kind. They ask for your information, including your NIN. you aren't surprised when they say the info they have on file for that number is.... not you. You are disappointed though.

They help you to a homeless shelter. You sit on your cot and cry self-pityingly for a bit, and then that pressure comes back to your mind:

The world is going to end. You know the world is going to end. You're the only one who can do anything about it.

You turn over and decide that's something you can deal with in the morning.

----

The next day, you think about it again.

"That's something I can deal with when I have an apartment," is what you think then.

So that becomes your next project. Finding your footing as a displaced person. Social services helps but it's... sporadic. It takes months for you to get more stable housing.

When you lie down on the couch of the new, well, new associate you've made, you once again remember that the world is going to end. That you are the only one who can do anything about it.

"I'll think about that when I get a job"

-----

Time continues to pass. As you are trying to get on your feet, you make feeble attempts to... start something.

You go to the Magnus Institute a few times. But it's hard. You've always had terrible social anxiety,. And everyone there seems so cold. You can feel eyes on your back: staring, watching your every move. Normally that alone is enough to make you quit for the day.

A lot of times, the main cast you remember is out doing research. When they are there, you are about to walk up and speak to them when the anxiety hits you again.

What if Elias sees you talking to them? What if he kills you?

You decide to retreat for a little while, then. Just to think of a better plan.

You spend the next month getting your first job in this new world. You start a timeline of when you think the apocalypse is going to happen, but remembering the canon dates is hard. It's not a very helpful timeline, and so you give it up.

Eventually you think the best thing to do is to wait until Elias has been arrested and then talk to the others. When Elias is in prison, he can't murder you for revealing your plans.

This means Sasha and Tim will die. But--they might have died anyway, even with your intervention. Who’s to say? Anyway, you’re not the one who will kill them. It’s not your fault.

You scan the news every day for things about the Magnus Institute, particularly the head of it getting arrested.

During this time, you do a little better. You have a nice apartment now, you think. Nice by your own standards, at least. You decorate the place a little. Get some video games that you like--or well, they aren't the same ones as in your world, but close enough you think?

Months pass.

One day it hits you that maybe the papers would never actually report on Elias being arrested.

Oh shit, you think.

You go back to the Magnus Institute then. By this point, Rosie recognizes you. She grants you the same expression one grants a wayward alley cat. You ask who the current head is. You are told "Peter Lukas."

Shit.

"Can I make a statement?"

Rosie looks nervous. "Um, the Archivist is on medical leave."

"Okay can I talk to one of his assistants?"

Rosie gets this very tired look in her eyes.

"I'll... ask."

Rosie phones the archives extension

it rings

"They've all really been through it recently," Rosie tells you. "They don't--like to talk to anyone else, now."

"I have to talk to them," you say. "Um, can you--can you tell Martin Blackwood specifically that I need to talk to him? That it's about Jon?"

Martin is--you like Martin. Martin will be nice and safe. He'll be easier to talk to than Melanie at this point, or Basira. Still, Rosie looks tired again.

"I'll have a chat with him," Rosie says. "How about you go home for now, and I'll call you when I've talked to him."

"But--"

You're bad at this. You were always bad at this. You can barely sign up for anything on your own. Your mother has done so many calls and filled out so many forms for you.

You never cultivated the skill of standing in a lobby and insisting to talk to someone. Maybe you'll just irritate Rosie and she'll blacklist you if you dig in your heels now. Anyway, you're already so tired from this. You think about going home, and playing some Medal of Honour IV.

"Fine," you say.

You go home. You play the game. You sleep.

You're not giving up, you say to yourself. You're just--biding your time.

Rosie does not call you.

It pains you, but you realize you have to go back in and ask to speak to someone again. You'll go today after work, you decide.

No, wait, you're too tired from work today. You'll go tomorrow.

Maybe on the weekend.

----

You finally go back

Rosie tells you she just--hasn't been able to get a hold of Martin.

"Fine," you say. "Any of the other assistants."

Rosie actually looks a bit worried for you. "Um, they're not--they don't take well to unexpected visitors. Let me wait and chat them up about it."

You do not listen this time.

You march down into the basement level where the archives are. The door is--well. Shit. It's barricaded? You knock. You keep knocking.

"Melanie! Basira!" you say. "I have to talk!"

The door opens too quickly. You barely get a glimpse of Melanie's snarl before she strikes and your vision goes white.

She hits you a few times. No knives, just fists. You hear Basira in the backround, barking for Melanie to stand down. Once there is an opening and you can blearily see again, you run away in terror.

It's not--you didn't intend to run. You were just afraid.

----

You go home, and realize that Melanie didn't even really hit you in a super serious way. Nothing that would warrant a hospital trip, at least. Nothing that has left you with a lot of pain, outside of the immediate terror of physical violence.

You probably could have stuck it out there. You should have.

You think about all the months--no, years now--that have passed without you making any progress.

"But that’s not my fault,” you say.

"I was having a really hard time. I was homeless. I've been struggling with my mental health. I still have to keep the rent paid and feed myself."

"It's not my fault. It's not."

"I will do something. Just--I need some more time."

You sleep.

You decide to wait a bit for your bruises to heal up before going back.

When you do drag yourself back to the Institute, now there is a PTSD reaction to going into the Institute on top of the social anxiety.

You leave quickly. Rosie looks so sad for you.

You do try to go back. You do try to get back in contact with the Archives, or go back when Jon is back up. But there's always something. Not something directly stopping you. Just--

Tiredness. Work. Illness. Doctor's appointments. Panic attacks. The Archives staff being unreachable.

The world is going to end. You're the only one who can stop it.

"That's not true though," you think. "I mean, technically anyone could. I just have a little more information that could help."

"It's never one person's fault," you tell yourself as you crawl into bed after another flight of anxiety struck you as you were about to cross the street to the Institute. "It's everything. It's--a whole system. It's Jonah's fault really. If I don't--I'm not to blame."

“I’m not to blame.”

----

You are playing Medal of Honour V when your phone lights up with a notification that there was an outburst of violence at a place known as the Magnus Institute, and billionaire Peter Lukas has disappeared in the confusion.

You should get up. It’s going to happen, and happen soon. You hand twitches on the controller.

You remember a quote you saw before you ended up here, on Facebook of all things.

"Don't wonder what you'd be doing in Nazi Germany. Whatever you're doing now, is what you would have been doing then."

Because bad things were happening in the world all the time, your preachy Facebook aunt said. There is always genocide, and famine, and war. It’s not some movie fantasy from the past.

You think about that. About the horrors in your world. Those movements that you retweeted support for and occasionally donated $5 to. The protests you awkwardly passed by on your way to work.

You quietly realize what kind of person you are. What you would have been doing in Nazi Germany, or the civil rights era in the U.S., or during the catastrophes in your own world, or right now.

It's what you were always going to do.

And so you get back to Medal of Honour V.

----

You're still dreading the apocalypse of course. It won’t be easy. It will be around six months to a year of full on torture, specifically designed to be the worst you have ever felt. Something about that soothes you. Something about knowing you are a victim too, or maybe knowing that you’ll be punished.

But--it will end, and then you'll be alright. Everything will return to normal, and you can go back to your apartment and your job and your games. It’s not all that bad.

You feel a twinge of guilt for Martin and Jon, who you could ave intervened for. You feel more than a twinge for the worlds the Entities will infect after. But--maybe it will all work out okay. Maybe the universe is a kind place. Maybe other worlds will be able to handle the fears better.

Who knows! There is always hope!

----

[When the sky turns red and the great Eye opens, when you start to hear the howls of your apartment neighbors through the wall--

Nothing happens to you. You are fine. It does not touch you.

Oh.]

#the magnus archives #tma #tma fic #self insert #reader insert #my writing

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gimmeyoon · 5 years ago

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Slayer: Call It Magic

✰ pairing: warlock!Jimin x Slayer!reader

✰ setting: Buffy the Vampire Slayer AU (part 4)

✰ word count: 5.6 k

✰ warnings: explicit language, mentions of death, violence, heavy angst, smut (oral (f), bondage, choking, degradation, )

✰ summary: ❝Yoongi has been missing for months and the Slayer has lost focus because of it. Jimin offers to brew her a potion that should mend her broken heart.❞

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It's strange the way the world keeps turning even when you're certain it won't. It's almost unsettling how unchanged things are. The demons keep maiming, killing, or bringing about the apocalypse, and you still head to the front lines to defend the world and all the good that is in it. Even when it feels like there is no good in it.

You haven't seen Yoongi in a month now, the pain of it all only slightly better. Namjoon's seen him. He checked in with your watcher a week ago when he heard a demon had plans to kill you.

Jungkook said after the demon was long dead that he could smell Yoongi the whole fight.

He had still be watching, ensuring your safety.

You wish he had stepped out of the shadows long enough for you to stake him. Or maybe to hold him. You weren't sure.

He was staying in the city nearby. Jimin had scried for him just to make sure he wasn't dead. He found him ten miles away. Close enough that you could track him down and kill him if you really wanted to.

Maybe that's why you knew if he did come out of the shadows you would welcome him back with open arms.

You felt weak for even thinking that.

"All of the demon's victim's are young people who have given into one of the seven deadly sins," Namjoon said, pulling your attention back to the meeting.

Your watcher had called the Scooby gang together after he got a tip that the police reports on the most recent murders all had some unexplainable elements. Namjoon, of course, could explain them. The supernatural was afoot.

"Wait," Jimin said, sitting up straighter. "You're telling me all of the things my grandma tried to tell me about sin was real?"

"Well," Namjoon said, looking a bit uncomfortable at the question. "That depends, do I know if you will be ultimately judged by one specific higher power? No, I don't know. Do I know that there is a demon that specifically targets people based on what also happens to be the seven deadly sins? Yes. Yes there is."

"Maybe he'll come for me," you said, looking down at your hands and sighing.

"Way to keep the mood up, kid," Jimin said, patting you on the shoulder.

"I've got a lot of wrath," you said turning to look at him.

"Yes, and I'm the king of lust, so let's not bring any 'maybe he'll come for me' energy into this room," Jimin replied.

"_____ has a point," Namjoon said, pushing his glasses further up his nose bridge. "We should always be vigilant."

"How does he feel about cursed humans?" Jungkook asked, earning a punch in the arm from Jimin.

"Oh, so you're cool if you're safe? What about the rest of us?"

"What about former demons turned human?"

"Hey!"Jimin said turning to Taehyung. "Since when is it every man for himself?"

"I just want to know how vigilant I should be?" Jungkook grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and sinking further down in his chair.

"At least you have magic," Jin said. "I'm a sitting duck, waiting for this demon to get me."

"What's your vice?" Jimin asked.

Jin shrugged. "Depends on the day."

"It might be easier if we all die," you said, not thinking much before letting that thought out.

"Yes, but then we'd miss the annual Kappa Alpha Tau roast and toast, miss doom and gloom," Jimin said turning in his seat to look at you. "And I for one want to get drunk and eat pork in the middle of the day for no reason one more time before I die."

"You have to be invited,” Jin said, earning a scoff from Jimin.

“As if I haven’t had my date with the one gay guy in the fraternity lined up since Fall.”

“Maybe Yoongi’s gay,” you said. “Maybe he realized that and that’s why he left town.”

“For some homoerotic self-discovery?” Taehyung said.

“Well, Vampires are usually described as being bisexual in the literature on them,” Namjoon said, drawing everyone’s attention across the table to him. “The act of drinking blood can be very erotic and as they don’t discriminate against victims based on gender.”

“So, he is gay?” Jin asked.

“I don’t mean to presume someone’s sexuality,” Namjoon quickly added, shutting the book in front of him. “I just meant to present the facts for a fuller understanding of vampire sexuality.”

“We’re all a little gay,” Jimin said with a shrug. “Jin said he’d suck my dick once for a cup of coffee.”

“That was hyperbolic,” Jin said, eyes wide.

“Is dick sucking an acceptable form of currency among humans?” Taehyung asked.

“Depends who you ask,” Jimin said just as Jungkook and Namjoon replied in the negative. “Oh, so I’m the only one?”

“It’s prostitution,” Namjoon said, shaking his head. “That’s what you’re looking for, Taehyung.”

Jimin frowned. “Respect sex workers.”

“I might as well have prostituted myself,” you said, earning a sigh from Jimin.

“No, you slept with a guy and he didn’t call you back. Welcome to the very real world of human problems.”

“At least I would have gotten something out of it if I had prostituted myself.”

“Very true,” Jimin said, earning another dismissive look from Namjoon. “The moral of the story is never sleep with anyone without securing the bag first. Love is dead.”

“My heart is dead,” you agreed.

The room went silent as your friends all looked back at you an uneasy look on all of their faces. This was becoming a very familiar look.

“So, a demon is murdering people,” Jin said breaking the silence.

“Yes,” Namjoon said, nodding his head slowly. “We should patrol.”

“Okay,” you said, standing from your seat and grabbing your stake off of the table.

“We,” Namjoon said, standing as well. “Plural.”

“Nosotros,” Taehyung said, causing everyone to look at him. “What? I speak seven demon languages, but you draw the line at Spanish? That’s racist.”

The Scooby gang minus Jin and any vampires that may or may not want to be a part of the group, all go patrolling through campus. It's odd, having so many people with you. Occasionally Namjoon would join you, especially when had his suspicions that you might skip it for a party or other various social event, but having Jimin and Jungkook, basically undertrained humans, with you. That was weird.

You accidentally bumped into Jimin when both of you rounded the same mausoleum and a you were inches away from piercing his throat with a stake. He looked back at you with wide eyes that seemed to wake you up from whatever haze you were in, but only for a moment.

Sometimes you find yourself looking at your own life like a spectator. Like you know you're no fun to be around right now. You can hear yourself whining, feel yourself losing focus, but you can't stop yourself. You can't make your heart hurt less and its infuriating sometimes.

It feels like Yoongi stole something from you.

Like right now, you know your lack of focus is why Jungkook and Jimin are risking their lives. Namjoon, this was his job. He had killed plenty of demons without your help. But Jungkook and Jimin? This was not easy for them.

Jungkook was basically a human who got a little hormonal three nights a month. Jimin was a novice witch with little to no fighting skills. Yet they stood beside you as your rocks. As the one's here to ensure you didn't die tonight. It was unfair of you.

Still you couldn't get your head on straight.

It was like watching someone else live your life. Like you were controlling yourself in a game of Sims but couldn't get your character to respond for some reason. Probably needed to restart the whole game.

What was the real life equivalent of restarting the game? Cutting all of your hair off, moving to a new city, and adopting a new name and accent?

But you liked your hair and didn't have enough money to move to a new city.

So you seemed to be stuck like this.

The demon has bright red eyes. You stare into them, seemingly unable to move. You're not sure why, it's like he has a power over you, but he doesn't. Not in actuality. Yet you stand frozen right in front of him.

He roars in anger, one of his large clawed hands coming up to slap your face, sending you tumbling to the ground.

Jimin shouts something that you can't make out as your ears ring from the blow.

Jungkook reaches you first, pulling you away from the demon and behind a tombstone, one next to where Jimin is chanting something, holding a crystal in his hand. You try to identify it, but Jungkook blocks your view as he crouches down in front of you to see if you're okay.

You don't respond immediately to his inquiry, causing his eyes to widen in fear.

"I'm fine," you said, shaking your head slowly to try and wake yourself up. "Namjoon?"

"Right," Jungkook said, standing up and running back towards the demon.

You're able to stand up slowly, and as you turn back to the demon, you watch as Namjoon swings a scythe, taking the demons head off with one blow.

"That was close," Jimin said, taking your hand in his and giving it a light squeeze. "You good?" You nodded your head in response as you dropped his hand. "I'm okay but I'm not okay."

"Yeah, I know," he said, following behind you as you walked to join Namjoon. "It's going to get better though."

You spend more days as a ghost, your physical body being present but your mind being far away.

You feel yourself just existing, though at the same time the days seem to blur together. Each one seemingly as insufferable as the next. You have never been happy, you are sure of it. Life has always been darkness.

"_____ will agree with me," Jungkook said, calling you attention back to the group.

You've actually left your apartment today to get lunch with Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook after Jimin promised to buy you a cake pop for your sorrows. It hadn't been as effective as you had hoped.

"Hm?" you mused, as you picked at your lunch.

"Should Jimin sign Taehyung up for Tinder?"

"All dating is suffering," you said with a shrug.

Jungkook seemed to hesitate for a moment before turning towards Jimin. "I think that counts as a no, so I was right she sides with me."

"There is something seriously wrong with you," Taehyung side, causing both Jungkook and Jimin to turn quickly towards the former demon.

"Tae, we try not to tell people they have something wrong with them when they are going through emotional trauma," Jungkook said, earning only a noncommittal head nod from Taehyung.

"I mean he's not wrong," Jimin said, offering you a small smile. "I've been looking into potions."

"To fix me?" you said, looking around the table, a bit embarrassed. You knew you weren't at the top of your game, but it was never nice to hear your friends were actively looking for ways to improve you.

"There's nothing wrong with you," Jimin said, shaking his head. "I just want to make it hurt less."

"So you've found a potion that'll rip out my heart and any emotions I have ever had and/or ever will have?"

Jungkook's eyes went wide at your remark before he turned to Jimin to wait for his answer.

"No, it's a potion to mend a broken heart," he said. "We're not turning you into a robot."

"Not even if I ask nicely?"

"Can you do that?" Taehyung asked, leaning forward on the table.

"No," Jimin said. "Well, I mean, I don't think so."

"Lame," you said, earning a scoff from Jimin.

"At least you still have your sense of humor," he deadpanned.

So that's how you end up at Jimin's apartment three days later, on the new moon.

You like his apartment, it's changed a lot since he discovered Wicca. It's usually dark, his preferred method of illumination being vintage lamps and candles. Velvet curtains stop any outside light from entering, and his opulence is accented with a velvet couch he got from his grandmother and the velvet throw blanket and velvet pillows on the floor next to it. It's a sea of darkness and velvet.

He's in the kitchen when you invite yourself into his home. He never locks it, even after learning that all of the horror stories he was told as a child are real. Or at least most of them. Still no word on Bloody Mary.

His argument is that vampires need permission to enter your home. You almost thank God you never invited Yoongi over. Your apartment will always be free of him.

"I'm making it now," he said as he acknowledged your presence.

He's placed a small piece of rose quartz in a glass jar, surrounded by a nearly clear liquidly you can't identify, and rose oil which you ascertain by the bottle on the counter. he throws in Chamomile leaves almost as soon as you stop beside him.

"You need to inhale this," he said, motioning towards the rose oil on the counter. "Relax your mind."

"Easier said than done."

"All I'm asking for is a good old college try from my favorite co-ed."

You picture yourself floating in nothingness, clearing your mind until everything around you goes silent. Rose petals float around you as the scent fills your sense. For the first time in what feels like forever your brain actually stops yelling, even if for just a moment.

"And now we let it charge," he said, drawing his line through the salt circle surrounding the jar and taking it to the balcony where he left it in the moonlight.

"May I interest you in bad reality television?" he asked as he reentered his apartment.

"Sure," you said, following him towards his couch. "I want to hate other people more than myself for a moment."

"Don't hate yourself," he said, earning a glare from you. "I know, easier said than done."

"Do you ever tell your brain to stop doing what it's doing, but it doesn't?"

"Yeah, I get it," he said, pulling you into his side. "It's going to listen to you one day. Hopefully soon, if I'm actually a warlock."

"Best warlock I know," You said, as you let yourself relax in his embrace.

"Only warlock you know."

You fall into comfortable silence as Jimin's terrible reality show of choice numbs your brain just enough to keep you content. He rubs small, slow circles into your arm as his head comes to rest on top of yours. Jimin is nothing if not comfortable to be around. He has the kind of presence that makes you feel at home no matter how well you know him.

You've always liked that about him.

"It's going to be okay, friend," Jimin said as the first episode came to an end. "I know it's not right now, but one day, one day you'll feel whole again."

"How can you be so sure?" you asked, looking up at him.

"Because you save the world. You can save yourself."

That night, you don't rub the potion over your heart as Jimin instructed you to do before you left his place. Three times he told you exactly what to do, but you don't. You're not sure why, but as you hold the jar, something in you says to set it down on the table and go to sleep.

You suppose in some ways Jimin becomes the potion. You find yourself at Jimin's almost every day that week, him always coming up with a new way to distract you. Your favorite was when the two of you went shopping for clothes that reminded you that you were in fact "that bitch." Your least favorite was when you, Jimin, and Jungkook went mini-golfing, as Jungkook insisted Jimin cheated using magic, and ended up breaking the club in half in his rage. That's how you all discovered the wolf was latent. Always ready to emerge. It wasn't how you had expected your night to go, though in the course of the last month or so it certainly wasn't the worst.

Jimin manages to convince the whole gang to go see a movie together, even Hoseok shows up, which is perhaps the oddest experience you've had in recent memory. It's a horror movie, per your request. Namjoon and Jin scream like babies, Taehyung looks the happiest you've seen him perhaps ever.

At some point you start to feel better. You're not sure exactly, when but one night as Jimin and you do homework together on his bedroom floor, you realize you're not waiting for Yoongi to walk in the door so you can stake him or hold him, the jury is still out on that one.

It's not life changing, you're not your old self again, but you feel slightly more at peace.

You laugh easily for the first time in many moons. Jimin is telling you stories about his child hood, and the animated way he recounts them has you nearly rolling on the floor with laughter.

"Can I say something and you promise to hear me out?" Jimin said, his bright smile causing you to mirror it.

"Of course."

"Of course," he laughed. "Like you ever listen to me."

"I do," you defended, punching him lightly in the shoulder. "You're my best friend."

"You don't listen to anyone," he said. "Especially not me. Maybe Namjoon, but I have several nights out with you to prove that you don't listen to him."

"Get to it, or you'll piss me off so much I won't let you."

"Okay," he laughed. "I think you should sleep with someone."

"Oh, so you're a comedian now?" you said, raising an eyebrow at him. "Do I need to recount to you my past two sexual encounters?"

"Please do, with detail," he said, earning another punch in the arm.

"Seriously, I slept with a demon that tried to kill all of my friends and a vampire that hit it and quit it."

"So sleep with a human," he said, to which you rolled your eyes. "Have you ever considered that both of those sucked because you slept with creatures of the underworld."

"Are you kink shaming me?"

"Never," he said, with a wink. "Seriously, find a nice, normal, safe guy and fuck him."

"No," you said.

"See, you don't listen to me."

You laughed at this as Jimin's wide, accusing eyes stared you down. "Sorry, I can't be the hoe friend you always wanted."

"I guess I'll forgive you."

"Only if you can find it in your heart," you said, batting your eyelashes dramatically.

Jimin and you laughed together as the two of you laid back on the floor, the melody of your friendship filling the room.

"Seriously," Jimin said looking over at you as you lay side by side. "It helps me. Stressed? Fuck. Heart broken? Sex. Feeling the existential dread of life? Do the do."

"You just think sex is the answer to everything."

"That's because it is."

"I just can't keep hooking up with people I barely know," you said, shaking your head. "I've put my trust blindly in two people and it was horrible."

"What about me?" he asked.

You shoved his shoulder, pushing him away from you. "What is this, an elaborate ploy to get into my pants?"

"Fuck off," he laughed. "Someone explain to me why two friends can't fuck and still be friends after. I mean, your friends offer emotional support, so why can't they offer physical support when necessary. I'm not about to confess my love to you, no offense-"

"None taken."

"I just don't understand why two friends can't blow off some steam together."

You lay there in silence for a moment, letting his words fully sink in. "Why is that a solid argument?"

"I've been thinking about it for a while."

"Okay," you said.

"Okay, what?"

"Okay, I'll do it."

"Seriously?" Jimin asked, sitting up quickly. "I'm going to join the fucking debate team, I can't believe I convinced you."

"But only when it feels right," you said, sitting up as well. "Right now it feels like a mediation. I want to be in the moment, feel sexy, want dick."

"Fair," he said, giggling as he laid back down on the floor, looking up at the ceiling with mirth in his eyes.

You're in the moment a week later at a party that Jimin dragged you too. It's at a frat you he usually frequents and the two of you are easily pulled into the party atmosphere by his friends. You want to feel miserable but Jimin's making sure that it isn't, pulling you into his friends room to play drinking games.

It's about 3 shots of tequila later that Jimin pulls you to the dance floor. It's innocent at first, him jokingly dancing to try and make you life, which is highly successful due to the aforementioned tequila shots. At some point the two of you start dancing normally but facing each other with enough room for Jesus and at least one if not two disciples to dance between the two of you.

It's when a stranger unceremoniously starts grinding against you, that Jimin pulls you towards him, spinning you so that your back is flush to his body. You don't hesitate to continue moving your hips, grinding into him as his strong arms keep you against him.

The hit and run grinder gets the message and leaves with his tail between his legs, and even though that is enough of a reason for you to return to your safe distance away from Jimin, you don't. The two of you stay body to body, moving to the rhythm together.

And while you want to say this is what did it for you, that feeling him grow hard against you was what convinced you tonight was the night, you knew you would end up there before he'd even lead you to the main room to dance. It was earlier, when he pulled you into his side and laughed at a funny story his friend was telling that you knew. You wanted him, if only for the night.

You're absolutely sure hours later as the two of you sit on his couch, greasy gas station food between the two of you as you watch the Kardashians. Jimin's saying something about how Scott is the only valid member of the family when your hand casually rests on his thigh and begins to move upwards.

He just looks at you as if this is something that happens all of the time between the two of you. It almost makes you rip your hand away and return your attention back to the show. But there's the other part of you that takes it as a challenge.

That part of you wins as you move so that you're straddling him, his hands almost instantly coming up to rest on your hips.

"Can I help you?" he asks, a smirk slowly growing on his face.

"I think we can help each other," you replied, your hands moving across the expanse of his chest.

"I think you're right," he said, smiling as he pulled you as close as possible to his body.

You're not sure who leans in first, maybe it's you, maybe it's him, but it doesn't matter as your mouths connect in a rushed kiss. It feels better than you expected, no trace of awkwardness as the two of you move together, your hips rotating against his crotch as your tongues dance together.

When your hands move to his belt, Jimin stops you, his hands grabbing your wrists. "Bed," he said, moving his head in the direction of his room.

You almost try to make a joke about him being bossy, but there's something in the way he looks at you that has your brain disconnecting from your mouth and leaving you at a loss for words, so you do what he says.

"Strip," he said, as the two of you stood before his bed.

You blush at how quickly you oblige, your skirt falling to the floor almost instantly. Jimin smiles in a way that lets you know he noticed, but he doesn't tease you. Instead, he closes the space between you and lightly caresses your face as he looks at you with fierce eyes.

"Lie down for me, _____," he said, lightly pressing on your shoulder until you sat down on the edge of his bed.

You feel safe and loved among the velvet and silk of his bed. Even as Jimin moves around the bed, looking at you with predatory eyes, you know there's no one else you trust more in this moment than him.

"Are you sure?" he asked, coming to sit on the bed beside you and giving you a softer look than before.

"I thought you were going to fuck me?" you said, smiling at him. "What are you? Afraid of the Slayer?"

Jimin's gaze grows predatory again as he stands to his feet. "Snap," he said. "Do it."

You did as he instructed, though not without a raise eyebrow and look of confusion.

"I would have suggested a safe word," he said, smirking as he leaned down to kiss your forehead. "But I'm afraid you might not be able to say anything with that pretty mouth of yours.

"So this is what you're like," you mused, looking him up and down.

"You've thought about me?" he asked, humor in his eyes.

"You talk about sex all of the time, it's kind of hard not to."

He laughed kissing you on the lips this time. "I've thought about you too, baby."

"And how do you want me?" you asked, more confident than you perhaps should be considering his earlier warning.

Instead of answering you, Jimin only smiles as he move to stand at the food of the bed. “Irretite.”

You only notice the plants placed at the four corners of the bed as they stir at his words, the vines quickly growing to ensnare your limbs. You instinctively fight against them, but Jimin's magic ensures your bond and unable to move on his bed.

"Now," he said, getting on the bed and resting between your legs. "Do you trust me to make you feel good?"

"You and no one else," you said, your breathing already slightly erratic just at the sight of him.

"That's what I like to hear," he said, kissing the inside of your thigh.

He licks slowly up your cunt, pressing a light kiss to your clit, before looking up at you with those same predatory eyes. He sucks your clit into his mouth, causing your head to fall back into his pillows, his comforting scent filling your senses.

He laps at your clit as he fingers your cunt, his movements precise and motivated by your sounds as they fill the room.

You long to entangle your fingers in his hair, but despite your pulling at the vines, they don't let up. If anything you swear the tighten, but you don't mind as Jimin's attention to your body has your mind completely focused on him.

“I always knew you were just a dirty little slut,” he said lookin up at you with dark eyes.

There’s something in you that feels a stranger to this Jimin. His foreign words have you clenching around his fingers and yearning to pull your arms free and get your hands on him.

You can feel your high approaching as two of his fingers fill you and another works circles into your clit, but just as you go to tell him to keep doing what he's doing, he pulls his hands away from you.

"What?" he asked innocently, though the look on his face said differently. "I thought you trusted me?"

"I do," you said breathily, panting as you felt your high disappear.

"Good," he said, kissing your hip as he moved up your body. "I like it when you do as you’re told."

"Please Jimin," you said, pulling against the vines. "Fuck me."

"Only because you said please," he said, before leaning back on his heels and pulling his shirt over his head. It feels like torture as you long to run your hands over his defined abs, and it feels practically like murder as he slowly removes his pants. You want nothing more than to reach out and quickly rid him of them, but all you can do is whine as the vines tighten back around you.

"None of that," he said, throwing his clothes into a corner of his room. "Behave, baby, and you'll get what you want."

You don't shy away from staring at his hardened cock, the tip red and dripping with pre-cum. You almost moan at the size of it and the thought of it filling you up. "Give me what I want, and I'll behave."

Jimin raised an eyebrow as his hands gripped tightly at your hips. "You might regret that."

You go to respond, just as Jimin aligns himself with your core and immediately rams into you, not giving you any time to prepare. He gives you the small mercy of catching your breath before he starts setting his pace and rhythm.

He grunts above you as he works to angle your hips so that he has better access to your g-spot, his face breaking into a proud grin as you let out a loud moan once he finds it.

"I get it," you said, panting as one of Jimin's hands moved to play with your nipple. "I get why everyone wants to fuck you."

"You gonna fall in love with me and my cock? Want to be my cock slut forever?" he teased, bending down to kiss your chest directly between your boobs, before slapping your ass. What ever happened to sour then sweet?

"In your dreams, Park," you said, though the bite of the remark was cut short by the load moan that followed it as he spanked you again.

"Oh, that most certainly will be," he said, picking up his pace.

"Creep," you said, laughing a little, though regretting it as soon as Jimin didn’t follow suit.

"If you don't have anything nice to say," Jimin said, giving you a dark look and yet another spank, the burn of your skin hard to ignore at this point. "Don't say anything at all."

You considered his words for a moment, a thought hanging on the tip of your tongue. "Make me," you said, a thrill running through your chest and to your core at the thought of what he would do.

Jimin raised an eyebrow in challenge. "Irretite," he said, causing another vine to stretch from the plant on his right bedside table and entangle itself around your neck.

Your head feels light as the vine pulls tight around you, but you're not sure if it's the thrill of the danger or the actual lack of oxygen that does it.

"Oh look at that," he said, a smirk on his face. "Looks like the Slayer's not so big and bad after all. You're weak for my cock. You couldn't fight it even if you wanted to, which you don't. Because you're just a cock slut pretending to be the chosen one, right?"

A mumbled yes dies on your lips as the veins tighten around you, causing your eyes to roll back in pleasure.

Jimin's thrusts seem more intent to be your undoing as he watches the vines on your throat with the sort of proud confidence you loved to see from him.

His moans increase as he thrusts become sloppier, and as you cry out in ecstasy, Jimin drops the vines hold on you. He helps you ride out your orgasm, your hands reach for his arms on instinct, and when you finally reopen your eyes and look at him, you watch him pull out and stroke himself to his own completion. He cums in long ribbons across your stomach, panting himself as he finishes and pressing a quick kiss to your thigh again.

He looks at the cum for a moment, before swiping some of it up with two of his fingers, and pressing it to your lips. You take his fingers into your mouth and suck them clean, Jimin muttering a curse as he watches you.

"Please," you said as he pulled his fingers from your mouth. "Not all of it."

Jimin laughed at this, a bright melody filling the room. "Okay," he said. "But only because you asked so nicely."

The next time you see Jimin it's normal. The two of you go your separate ways the next day after cuddling each other to sleep, and when you finally see him at lunch two days later, he's the same way he always was. You don't expect it.

He doesn't tell anyone either, which perhaps is what surprises you the most. Jimin was absolutely the type to kiss and tell. When Taehyung asked what had gotten into you as you laughed easily with them at that lunch, you nearly choked on your coffee, already anticipating Jimin to say his cock. But he doesn't.

"It's nice to see you happy again," he said instead. "Whatever it is, I'm glad it helped."

"Me too," Taehyung agreed with a nod as he returned his attention to his sandwich.

You feel lighter. You smile more. It's all you could really ask for. You're not cured; the only magic was that of friendship.

You want to choke just thinking that.

You can already hear Jimin offering you his vines in the back of your mind.

#jimin smut #jimin fanfiction #jimin writing #bts smut #bts fanfiction #jimin x reader #magicshopnet #bts writing #Slayer #park jimin

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mactiir · 6 years ago

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What are some of your favorite videogames?

I’m super bad at making decisions so here’s an essay about this ask. If you just wanted a list I put the relevant games in bold.

I’m a sucker for a good strategy game and have loads of hours logged in Paradox grand strategy games (Crusader Kings 2 and Stellaris mostly, I keep meaning to learn EU4 but somehow always end up murdering my CK2 second cousins instead). I like the Total War franchise a lot (some more than others – Attila is my fave) but I do get tired of them pretty quick, I have to take them in small doses. And of course there’s Civ V (VI is aesthetic goals but the diplo sucks). I like squad strategy games like XCOM as well (I still log into XCOM 2 occasionally to attempt their dailies). I used to go NUTS for Soulsborne games but kinda got burnt out after DSIII – I have yet to decide if I wanna play Sekiro or not. Dark Souls 1 is definitely still my favorite of these, with Bloodborne close behind it.

I love Mortal Kombat just for the gratuitous violence (It’s WWE with gore, what’s not to love?) and can’t really rank these – though I was really fond of 9.But my first and last love is character-driven western RPGs, which are unfortunately few and far between these days with Bioware getting gutted. Witcher 3 Wild Hunt is one of my favorites of all time, and I don’t even want to know how many hours I have in various playthroughs. I replay Dragon Age Origins once a year or so (though I’m not as fond of the other installments in the franchise). Baldur’s Gate 2: Shadows of Amn is an oldie but a goodie, and it’s worth a play if you can get past the fact that it was made in like 2002 and controls like asscakes. I like Obsidian RPGs a lot, but seeing as I’m a sappy romantic at heart, I really hate that you can’t romance anyone in their games (I’m still sour that Fallout: New Vegas didn’t let me date Veronica). I’m hesitant to name Kingdom Come Deliverance, because even though I was in love with that game when it came out, it’s been soured for me by the monumentally bad takes its head developer decides to fart out on a regular basis. Also faves, and in no particular order: Portal 1 and 2, Half-Life 2 + Episodes, Okami, Horizon: Zero Dawn, the reboot Tomb Raider series (I know, they’re trash, but I love them), The Sims franchise (guilty pleasure), Titanfall 2, Dishonored 1, Shadow of Mordor, the Mass Effect series, Hellblade Senua’s Sacrifice, Pokemon games, Fire Emblem games, the Metroid series– and probably a lot more that are slipping my mind at the moment.

You’ll notice almost none of these are multiplayer games. That’s because I am uncontrollably competitive and multiplayer games make me cause property damage, so I have cut myself off from them because they are bad for my: controllers, blood pressure, headsets, television, interior walls, and marriage. That said, I do still attempt them. I have been known to break things for Apex Legends from time to time. Back in days of yore, I was pretty handy at the original Titanfall. I loved Evolve when it first came out, before DLC and microtransactions ripped it to shreds, and went through a really intense Overwatch phase that ended when Sombra was released because I was too impatient to learn a new hero. Usually you’ll only find me playing these sorts of games for about a month before I get burned out on rage and go back to murdering people to gain the throne of England.

#personal

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jaggedwolf · 6 years ago

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2018 LGBTQ Recs

The usual yearly list of stuff with lgbtq stuff I’ve consumed this year that I thought were a fun time. Probably will be dominated by queer women because uh, I’m the one writing this list, man. Last year’s list is here. Any media with content warnings usually has said warnings listed wherever it’s linked, or wherever you’d get it.

Games/Interactive Fiction

Heaven Will Be Mine - Made by the creators of We Know The Devil, HWBM is a visual novel about three terrible girls piloting mechas and fighting each other for the fate of space - while occasionally making out with each other. IDK even how to describe how awesomely specific the atmosphere of it is, but it’s such a good spiritual successor to WKTD. If WKTD was about desire that you were certain was an impossibility for you, a forever unsure longing for something out of reach, HWBM’s about having this thing you know you have no right to, power that feels unearned - but you have it anyway, so what are you going to do with it?

Butterfly Soup - Look, it’s literally self-described as a “visual novel about gay asian girls playing baseball and falling in love” do I have to actually say more words about this than that, I guess I can. I adore all four main girls, it gave me the gay high school coming of age stuff I’m always down for + sportsball team feels + two pairings I’m Invested in. I am looking forward to that 2019 sequel so much.

Hustle Cat - Dating sim where you are an employee at a cat cafe and can date one of the other employees but there’s magic things happening you’re trying to figure out??? A very cute game, you can pick your character’s pronouns and one of six protag designs, there are 4 male love interests and 2 female ones so you can knock yourself out with the pairings your heart desires. Would cat again.

Kindred Spirits - Yuna is a high school student used to eating lunch alone on the roof...and one day she’s joined by two female ghosts that are a couple, and want her help with matchmaking a bunch of potential couples they’ve spotted around their all girls’ school, since she’s the only one who can see the ghosts. Super entertaining, and whole host of pairs to get invested in.

TV Shows

One Mississippi - It kicks off with Tig (played by, yep, that stand-up comedian Tig Notaro) returning to her hometown in Mississippi after her mother’s death, dealing with her stepfather and brother as they all settle mom’s affairs. It’s darkly humorous little show with a surprising amount of heart. It also had a surprise!duet of a song from Fun Home that like, messed me up a little in a good way. Still sad it got cancelled after season 2.

Comedy Specials

Nanette - It’s a tour de force of talking about comedy, about Gadsby’s specific experience growing up where she did as who she is but also about the general experience of misogyny and homophobia. There’s a part in the middle where she reveals the darker truth behind a funny story she shared at the beginning that still takes my breath away whenever I think about it. The exploration of that instinctual minimization of experiences of bigotry (hahaha aren’t they stupid) which fundamentally, covers up the very real possibility of violence lurking around those stories. You’re funny, until you’re a threat.

Rape Jokes - idk what to say here, man, it’s a really clever and somehow funny standup special about sexual assault and the culture surrounding it.

Happy To Be Here - It feels a little like a fault of mine that this is the first Tig Notaro special I’ve actually watched/listened to, considering the ones that launched her to fame. But this is such a happy, funny time of a special, with Notaro talking about family life and her new kitten, all with her usual dry take on things. Way way lighter than the previous two specials in this list.

Movies

The Miseducation of Cameron Post - I had my doubts going into this adaptation. My favorite part of the book was certainly the first half, as much as I loved the whole, and knowing the movie would focus on the latter half’s conversion therapy plot put me off. I’m happy to say I was very wrong. The movie’s focus gives it a purpose it wouldn’t otherwise, there’s good usage of contextualizing flashbacks, and it communicates so well that precise horror of the slow erosion of one’s self. Cameron, Adam and Jane can take the piss out of the camp as much as they want, but being there still takes something from them.

Love, Simon - I watched this in theatres twice. For the record, I usually watch like, 5 movies in theatres a year if I’m not being dragged by family to them, so, uh, I really enjoyed this movie, even the ~mystery~ of which guy Simon was emailing, and him jumping to conclusions every time. Simon looks So Done and Tired in 90% of his scenes and honestly if that’s not the one truth about being closeted in high school what is.

Books

Of Fire and Stars - F/F fantasy YA romance, combined with arranged marriages that have to be snuck around and secret magic powers. There’s a subplot about one of the girls learning to ride a horse, is the level of fantasy tropes we’re at here. A quick, fun read.

Queer America: A GLBT History of the 20th century - Read this for my gay and lesbian history class and liked it as the quick reader it was - lots of pointers to other sources, and like you’d want from any good history book, covers lots of different of viewpoints LGBTQ folks have had about lots of issues without ever doing the bullshit “All gay people thought X at this time period” claims. Intra-community arguing, always been a thing.

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay - Spoilers, but the gay romance subplot in this novel uh, doesn’t end happily, but like, I really like Sammy Clay as a character, and the depiction of his life as a gay man writing superhero comics from the 40s well into the lavender scare and the congress hearings about comics promoting bad behaviour (read: gay) to impressional kids.

Podcasts

The Strange Case of Starship Iris - Uh, my new fandom obsession, in case that isn’t patently obvious. Tropey space opera podcast with a small disaster spaceship crew, and a clearly telegraphed f/f endgame that constantly delights me. Queer characters, purple aliens, found family feels, what else could I want from a space opera canon? (The answer is more episodes...please...)

The Penumbra Podcast - There are two main storylines, a sci-fi noir one and a fantasy one. I only listen to the sci-fi noir one but I love it, and the protagonist, angsty PI Juno Steel who suffers so well and also happens to be bi as hell. I also really like the Season 1 one-off episode The Coyote of the Painted Plains, or f/f Robin Hood fun-times. [I started listening to it and the other podcast listed below in 2017, but 2017 iteration of this list did not have a podcast section, because I was a fool]

Queer As Fact: Queer history podcast where every episode is the delightful experience of listening to a bunch of Australian history nerds talk about some cool queer person or object while being really smart and delightful. Apparently they sometimes record while sitting in a literal blanket fort and this makes me rank this podcast even higher in my heart.

#not on the list: critical role now has two canonically not-straight PCs and i love it but i feel like it doesn't quite fit on this list #then again one year i recced supergirl #so who knows #it's just a lot longer of a time commitment #recs #long post

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motherkuma-and-monokubs · 2 years ago

Note

Who hears likes Kingdom Hearts?

"None of us play video games," Suke explains, "the violence can be upsetting, so the most video games we occasionally play are peaceful ones, such as Stardew Valley, Animal Crossing, My Oasis and the like. Though I've seen Kid, Dam, and Taro play games like FNAF or The Mortuary Assistant, or even White Day: A Labyrinth Named School. Phanie has a particular enjoyment for dating Sims, and I've caught Dam playing a few, as well."

#danganronpa #danganronpa ask blog #danganronpa roleplay #danganronpa rp #dr rp #rp #dr roleplay #roleplay #🐻.asks #monosuke #💛 suke 💸

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yourpinkoverlord · 3 years ago

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Oh my god I’m actually in the mood to play the Sims 4. That high school pack awakened me. I’ve been wanting active school in the Sims for as long as I’ve been a fan of this franchise. I need to prepare a Sim and make them have a teen by the time this pack comes out (I never really liked starting with more than one Sim!) I have a starter Sim in mind and I’m gonna make use of that pronoun update.

I was pretty well versed in the game circa 2014-2016 but I stopped because it just wasn’t nearly as good as Sims 3.

I didn’t follow the game much after that. I think my dad still bought the occasional pack on sale even tho he played Sims 4 even less than me, and there’s been tons of updates since (I haven’t even played with the Sims 4 toddlers!) so there’s stuff I really need to catch up on. ESPECIALLY before I install all the mods I’ve been looking at for ages (Slice of life, more drama, life tragedies, extreme violence, LGBT+, Wonderful Whims, pre-teens…oh, master controller of course. Probably more big ones I forgot. Any mods I haven’t mentioned that you recommend?) I don’t like playing with mods before I already have a good, CURRENT understanding of what the game is like without them. I don’t think I even have CC installed? Maybe there’s still some CC my dad installed back in the day but not much.

Also, I haven’t had to worry about mods being out of date in a LONG time, so that’ll take some adjusting if modded Sims 4 can keep my interest long enough lol!

After this little Sims 4 experiment I need to try getting back in Sims 2. I started it for the first time about a year ago with all the packs, and it’s a bit overwhelming. People say Sims 3 is overwhelming but I’ve played that game so much I know a loooot of the stuff you can do and how. Sims 2 is new to me, and a bit of a learning curve! Even the way relationships work is totally different and I’m excited to give it more of a shot.

#the sims #the sims 4 #the sims 3

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pride-vns-blog · 7 years ago

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LGBTQ VN Week: Day Four! (6/21)

Wow, we’re already at the fourth day of LGBTQ visual novel recommendations! You’ve probably seen this preface on previous parts of this list, but if you haven’t read my first post, that writeup’s “One note before we get started” section, explains more clearly what this list is and why I’m writing it!

Plenty of visual novels talk about sex and intimacy, so for today, I’ve set aside four with my personal favorite approaches to the topic — CODE:Phantasm’s 404 Error: Connection Not Found, parade’s No Thank You!!!, SugarScript’s Cute Demon Crashers, and Mitch Alexander’s Tusks: An Orc Dating Sim, plus a conversation with Mitch about his creative process on Tusks.

Head on in to hear about your little brother dyeing his hair pink, a truly inscrutable protagonist, freeloading demons playing Mario Kart, and inspirational Skyrim mods!

404 ERROR: CONNECTION NOT FOUND (CODE:PHANTASM)

Itchio Tagline: “Sometimes connecting to others is harder than loneliness.” Genre(s): Slice of life; drama. Release Date: July 30th, 2017 (demo); TBA (full version). Content Warnings: Text-only depiction of sex and sex work; adult content.

404 Error: Connection Not Found is the story of Ren Matsuura, a camboy who ran away from home after turning eighteen and supports himself financially through camming — but thanks to his agoraphobia and general anxiety, he rarely goes outside, to the point that he’s pared all his social connections down to casual conversations with his clients and lying to his younger brother Haru about what he does for a living. When his brother decides to come visit for the first time since Ren moved out, Ren is forced to confront the fact that his guilt and shame have driven him into a corner with no support system. In the span of the demo, he starts to try and reach out to the clients he has a more regular relationship with to prepare him for Haru’s eventual visit, ending on a cliffhanger that seems to be leading directly into the plotline of the main story.

This visual novel’s demo is the shortest of all the stories on my entire list, to my knowledge, but it’s also the most memorable demo I’ve played in a long, long while. As someone who’s had to contend with similar mental illnesses in the past — paranoia and agoraphobia unsurprisingly have a pretty high degree of comorbidity! — I felt like Ren’s slow struggle to make progress for the sake of his younger brother was written sincerely, thoughtfully, and believably in the timespan of a single demo playthrough. Ren can be funny, when he’s not spiraling internally, and his rocky progress at trying to talk to others more honestly is loaded with plenty of funny jokes and quips about his takes on things. He’s a sympathetic, well-rounded protagonist who comes across strongly in the demo alone, and I ended up really rooting for him to make it to a place where he was happier with his life.

There’s another aspect to the story that I ended up really liking, too: the fact that sex work, especially jobs like camming, can be extremely common among LGBTQ people who can’t support themselves financially in other ways. Ren can’t go outside and can’t interact with many people without severe, earth-shattering anxiety attacks (a few of which we see in the demo!), so this job is what he’s got. It’s a job that’s sustained him for years, and although it’s certainly fed into his own relative isolation, 404 Error seemed to walk that careful balance of making it explicit that it’s Ren’s own lack of steady support for his mental illness instead of the simple fact that he does sex work that causes his interpersonal problems. I’m optimistic about the remainder of the story’s handling of those kinds of things, too, because what was present in the demo was sympathetic and sincere! There’s not very many sex workers or camgirls/camboys in visual novels outside of an extremely tiny handful, let ones alone in conjunction to stories that acknowledge of the way LGBTQ people as a whole can struggle with more convential jobs, so Ren’s genuinely empathetic personality and the hope I have for his future makes me excited to see where CODE:Phantasm takes 404 Error from here.

404 Error: Connection Not Found’s free Yaoi Game Jam demo is available now, and you can follow the CODE:Phantasm team on Itch.io, Twitter, or Tumblr to stay updated on their progress with Ren’s story.

NO THANK YOU!!! (PARADE)

MangaGamer Tagline: “This summer vacation begins with a car accident...” Genre(s): Comedy; drama; mystery. Release Date: June 28, 2013 (Japanese); February 27, 2015 (English). Content Warnings: Adult content; multiple sex scenes; frequent sexual harassment; blood; drugs; violence; death.

Right off the bat, I think parade’s debut visual novel (as a studio, at least) does a lot of interesting things and definitely seems to be aiming high with creating distinct, memorable stories. The art in No Thank You!!! is gorgeous, its voice acting is top-tier, a lot of the side characters are compelling even beyond the space or role the narrative gives them, and the love interests alone are all fully-realized characters with interesting stories. Romance option Ryu’s route, in particular, fleshes out the larger sense of mystery and the other characters to an astounding degree! That’s to say nothing of the most unique mechanic — which I mostly call the NTY!!! button — that offers you the chance to say “no thank you” in a variety of scenes without always telling you what it is you’re saying that to. It’s occasionally a little too easy to guess, but at certain points I ended up lulled into a false sense of security with that easiness that the game was all too ready to take advantage of with a much less obvious choice.

One of the sticking points with No Thank You!!! that I’ve seen other players express, on the other hand, is the way protagonist Haru is written. That’s not to say his writing specifically is bad — parade clearly had a vision in mind for Haru’s personality, and from his sketchy beginnings to his clearer end, he’s a coherent character with a consistent narrative. While the crux of the story is more insight into Haru, where he came from, and what the truth behind all those mysteries might be, though, Haru’s behavior still underpins a lot of what drives the romance routes forward. And his behavior... The official quote on his personality, “[s]exual harassment is an everyday activity for him,” can at times seem like it’s underselling exactly how often he tries to grab an ass. It’s no surprise that a fair few other players I’ve seen have walked away with pretty strong opinions on Haru as a character. (I’m personally not a huge fan.)

But to me, a divisive protagonist who you don’t actually fully understand as a character — Haru’s thoughts on a lot of key things are far less accessible than the likes of Aoba Seragaki or most Western M/M protagonists, which leaves you knowing most of his thoughts or feelings via his interactions from others — seems to go perfectly hand-in-hand with the way the visual novel as a whole operates. No Thank You!!! puts you at a distance by Haru’s viewpoint being occasionally “indecipherable” (to use the official phrasing), and then it throws you further with its sometimes-unpredictable NTY!!! button mechanic, but the strength of its other individual pieces taken together still sold me on it as both a solid set of mystery stories and an 18+ dating sim.

Also I really like Maki.

No Thank You!!! is available for a sale price of $19.95 on MangaGamer’s store (18+), and you can read more about parade’s story and characters on MangaGamer’s designated No Thank You!!! page (also 18+).

CUTE DEMON CRASHERS (SUGARSCRIPT)

Itchio Tagline: “A short and silly consent-friendly and sex-positive VN!” Genre(s): Modern fantasy. Release Date: April 7th, 2015 (Mirari and Akki’s routes); August 15th, 2015 (full version). Content Warnings: Multiple sex scenes; detailed uncensored nudity.

I don’t think I could sum up Cute Demon Crashers better than the Itch.io tagline does — it’s short, it’s hilarious, and it’s got an emphasis on consent that meshes perfectly with its goofy “a bunch of incubi and one succubus come to the mortal realm to have sex” plot. The characters are all charming and fit perfectly into its universe, with distinct personalities that come across clearly without ever feeling hamfisted in the limited time that the script lets you spend with them. Although this isn’t necessarily a romance game, especially given that incubi and succubi are “closer to what people know of as aromantic” according to the SugarScript FAQ, its cute, thoughtful writing and adorable design in everything from the characters to the user interface mean that there’s plenty of love infused in every aspect of Cute Demon Crashers.

Like yesterday’s We Know The Devil, Cute Demon Crashers is one of those visual novels with a distinct, memorable mechanic that almost placed it squarely in Tuesday’s creative design list. Cute Demon Crashers is one of the first visual novels — or, by my experience, the first altogether — to implement a mechanic specifically themed around stopping in the middle of sex. If you’re ever uncomfortable or you just plain want the scene to end, you can hit a button and protagonist Claire will talk with her partner to bring things to a close. (There’s also an option to just plain old not have sex with any of them, and spending time with the characters!) A lot of the dialogue in these scenes in particular is thoughtful, nuanced, and reads to me as being a pretty realistic depiction of how someone like Claire might ask those questions or express those kinds of concerns.

The way Cute Demon Crashers handles intimacy and sexuality, by another measure, is one of those things that I think has also had a not-insignificant impact on the visual novel community as a whole; I’ve seen a fair number of people who’ve apparently never enjoyed an 18+ dating sim before talk about how its portrayal of sex resonated with them or brought them some measure of comfort. Because of the SugarScript team’s relative investment in the English-language visual novel scene as a whole, too — this project was born out of NaNoRenO and I’ve seen them promote development forum hub LemmaSoft or other small visual novels more than once — the compassion for the player that’s written into every aspect of Cute Demon Crashers seems to extend naturally to everyone else around the team in real life, which is something extremely special.

The entirety of Cute Demon Crashers is available now for free, and you can find out more information on its upcoming sequel (Cute Demon Crashers: Side B) on the SugarScript Twitter, Tumblr, and Itch.io!

Itchio Tagline: “GAY ORCS available in YOUR AREA.” Genre(s): Romance; fantasy; community building. Release Date: July 18th, 2015 (First Day demo); January 1st, 2018 (FUARLANG/full main story); TBA (individual route endings). Content Warnings: Adult content; sex; mentions of violence.

Mitch Alexander’s Tusks: The Orc Dating Sim, from head to toe, is one of my favorite depictions of sex and intimacy in video games — and with every gradual update, especially the most recent FUARLANG build that finished out the mai storyline, I’ve only become more sure of that. There’s an endearingly genuine quality to its art, character dialogue, and even in things like the NPC autonomy feature, where your companions have just as many chances to sway things like group votes or decide who’s on watch as you would without NPC autonomy being enabled.

Interested to hear Mitch talk a little bit about his design process and the inspiration behind Tusks, I got in touch and asked him a few questions!

Thanks for taking the time for an interview, Mitch! While the title might be fairly self-explanatory, haha, how would you outline Tusks: An Orc Dating Sim in more detail to somebody new?

Tusks is a visual novel where the player joins a group at an annual orcish gathering, in a forest at the edge of a semi-mythical version of Scotland, and you then travel with this new found family and get to know them better. Most of the game is your group getting into adventures, talking to them one-on-one at camp at nighttime, and making decisions about how to go about your travels. The game's cast are all queer, and the game itself is an exploration of queer identity, community, history, and our relationship with the idea of monstrosity/Otherness.

I think it's fair to say that Tusks, as well as your larger body of work, deals a lot with intimacy and sexuality, especially the intersection between those two things; this is probably a question you've thought over yourself a fair bit, but what in particular interests you about those topics that drives you to explore them in Tusks and your other work?

Part of it is the fact that intimacy and sexuality are areas that can be massively important to queer people (especially since many of us are marginalised as a result of our sexuality being seen as deviant) but there aren't a lot of mainstream sources that play with intimacy and sexuality in relevant ways. And part of it is just because exploring sexuality for its own sake can be fun as well!

Definitely! There's always room for more fun with depictions of sexuality, haha. The premise for an all-orc dating sim is definitely a memorable one, and one you've fleshed out incredibly well with the thoughtfulness of your worldbuilding and character dynamics. What was the original inspiration that you built Tusks on, and what helped carry you across the finishing line of completing (for the most part) its story?

It was a lot of different threads coming together: I'd been playing a modded Skyrim save with an orc character who, in my head, was gay and had left his stronghold so to find other orcs like him and establish his own wee found family. That happened at the same time as me finding out about the NaNoReNo visual novel game jam, plus wanting to work on a game that actually put queer characters and discussions first and foremost rather than us just being a token presentation.

As for what carried me through, there was lots of things: the excitement of getting to tell stories that you just don't see in mainstream games, getting amazing feedback from players, and then at the end when I released the full main story on New Years', it was sheer bloody-mindedness.

There's a fair few interesting mechanics in Tusks, especially with regards to NPC autonomy; can you share a little bit of insight on why you decided to include those and how they function in the code?

NPC autonomy's a small but effective way of just slightly upsetting this idea that in visual novels, the player character gets to make all the decisions -- it automatically puts you in a decision-making leader role, and it's up to the writer then to narratively justify that -- which can be difficult if you're wanting to tell a story about a group of equal partners. So instead, NPC autonomy lets characters vote on things or lets characters potentially turn you down for romantic encounters.

It's an optional feature, so it's possible to play the game without it being on -- it just slightly changes the flow of the story and makes it seem a tad-bit more like you're part of a collective, if that makes sense.

Yeah, that makes sense! I think my playthroughs where NPC autonomy was on were definitely more interesting, by and large, because it really does add a lot to that sense of cooperation and community.

If you had to pick just one, what non-human (and non-orc) creature do you think more people should appreciate?

I'm really interested in exploring things with strong mythological connotations like minotaurs, since they're surrounded by particular ideas like labyrinths, being half-human and half-animal. I'd also really like to see someone explore the monstrousness of hags from [Dungeons and Dragons], because I think there's probably a way to talk about them and explore their relationships to femininity, presentation, glamour magick, witchcraft, and power.

Good choices! Those are both definitely really interesting ones. To wrap things up, are there any LGBTQ visual novels from other developers that you'd like to recommend?

I'd recommend checking out The Bitter Drop, by Isak Grozny; Ladykiller in a Bind by Christine Love, and We Know the Devil by Date Nighto!

Perfect! It's been a pleasure talking to you, Mitch, and I'm looking forward to your future projects.

Tusks: The Orc Dating Sim is available now for a reverse-sale price of $2.02, and you can support Mitch Alexander’s work on Patreon or follow his “nonsense” on Twitter and fully-released work on Itch.io!

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thevideogamestudies-blog · 5 years ago

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A Cult Classic To Sink Your Teeth Into

Let’s be honest. Most of you have never heard about Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines, so you have no idea why everyone is so ecstatic - or negative depending on whom you talk to - about the new sequel coming out next year. Vampire: the Masquerade - Bloodlines isn’t considered a cult classic for no reason.

**Under the cut does include pictures of animated violence between fictional characters and blood**

What is V:TMB?

Synopsis: Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines is an RPG that takes place in modern Los Angeles and you play a character who has recently turned into a vampire - shocker - in the character creation you choose the vampire clan you want to be a part of, as well as their starting stats. The game revolves around following or disobeying the Masquerade, which is just a fancy word for vampire laws, that keep humans oblivious to all the vampires’ existence. The main plot centers around the arrival of a sarcophagus that is rumored to contain the remains of an old and powerful vampire - and without going into too much detail - there is some vampire politics because of this as well.

Vampire: The Masquerade started as a table-top roleplaying game in the 1990s, which sparked novels, and video games - such as Vampire: The Masquerade - Redemption, and Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines followed shortly after (Wikipedia). Bloodlines was released way back in November of 2004, and unfortunately, sold fewer than 80,000 copies. Compare that to other games released the same year like “GTA: San Andreas” which sold 12 million copies - and that was only on Playstation 2 (Wikipedia).

Why Did Bloodlines Perform So Badly?

According to the lead writer, Brian Mitsoda, "It was dumped on the market at the worst possible time - most people didn't even know we were out...both fans and the Troika devs are always going to wonder what the game could have been like with another six months,” (Lane).

Sure, maybe the timing wasn’t right, but it didn’t help that the game was pretty much ‘unfinished’ when released. The engine used for Bloodlines, Valve, was still in development. The developers were dealing with code they were unfamiliar with (Lane). The issues with the engine caused the game’s development to extend longer than Bloodlines’ publisher, Activision, was wanting. After three years of being development, Activision was getting impatient, "We were told to wrap it up in a matter of months at a point where we knew that was going to require a lot of crunch. It was pretty obvious at that point that we weren't considered a very important project anymore,” commented Mitsoda (Lane). Shortly after release, Troika laid off more and more developers until Troika’s doors were permanently closed (Lane).

Why Does Bloodlines Have A Following?

The issue with Bloodlines was never the story. The unforgettable characters, dialogue, and storyline are why the game still has a following 15 years later. In ScreenRant’s article on the announcement of the sequel they commented, “Bloodlines is considered to be one of the best RPGs of all time (even if parts of it haven't aged well),” (Baird). In IGN’s “Top 100 RPGs”, they list Bloodlines as number 42, and Game Informer lists the game at number 98 in their list. PC Gamer mentions Bloodlines in their “The Best RPGs on PC” article as well.

Bloodlines gets the ‘unfinished’ label because it was unfortunately left a bug-ridden game, and as it gets older and operating systems update, the game seems to keep getting worse. In my personal experience, certain quests are impossible to complete because of bugs. Luckily enough, the fanbase has a passionate player, Werner Spahl, who continuously updates the game - and occasionally adds new content that he recovers from the game files - for free (Lane).

Bloodlines 2: Electric Boogaloo

Paradox Interactive, Bloodlines new publisher, and Hardsuit Labs, Bloodlines new developer, announced the sequel in March and will be released sometime in March of 2020.

What We Know So Far

We will be playing as a ‘Victim of the Mass Embrace’ in Seattle, and we are thrown into the middle of heated vampire politics. Your background, discipline, clan, faction, humanity will affect the main character throughout the whole story (Bloodlines). Brian Mitsoda is still the lead writer for the series, Mitsoda promises, “a true successor guided by the people who knew what made the original so special,” (Robertson). There will be more clans than in the original, new abilities such as telekinesis, turning into mist or bats (Game Checkup). In character creation for the sequel, we don’t choose a clan, (clans are picked later in the game) but instead, choose a background for our character, and since the character starts as a ‘thin-blood,’ we get limited powers (Alexandra). Senior writer, Cara Ellison, confirmed that there is a massive side quest revolving around finding all the other ‘Victims of the Mass Embrace,’ “We’re looking at introducing you to the idea that lots of different people will have a different experience of being a vampire,” Ellison said. “And their vampire puberty might be a bit more difficult or more fraught,” (Alexandra).

The sequel will also support all the features from Nvidia’s latest video cards - such as real-time ray tracing effects and DLSS technology - and mod support (Capel).

Response

In an article on GameGavel, they claimed Bloodlines 2 as the most anticipated RPG sequel (Bassili). In Kotaku’s review, they commented, “I’m cautiously optimistic about Bloodlines 2. The gameplay’s emphasis on exploration and Hardsuit’s goal of building a vibrant Seattle are compelling. The team’s willingness to talk about the first game’s stumbles was good to see. And it’s exciting to have a Vampire game that appears to play well,” (Alexandra).

“Farewell, Vampire”

If you haven’t already gathered, I am excited about this sequel, so much to the point, I am contemplating pre-ordering it - and I never, ever pre-order games – unless it’s a new Sims 4 expansion pack. I have pretty high hopes the sequel will be worth it, considering the positive reviews from those who tested it at E3 and that the lead writer returned. March 2020, please get here faster!

Follow me on Twitter @ girlfrmthesales where I post a lot about video games, comics, etc! Or follow me here on Tumblr @mentallyinnoir!

Also if you have never played the original and you want to check it out here is a link to a forum that links mods and the patches! But of course, beware of spoilers in the comments!

Buy the original game here on Steam for $19.99! Pre-order Bloodlines 2 here on Steam for $59.99!

Works Cited

Alexandra, Heather. “Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines Is Getting A Sequel, And It Looks Pretty Good.” Kotaku Australia, Kotaku Australia, 22 Mar. 2019, www.kotaku.com.au/2019/03/vampire-the-masquerade- bloodlines-is-getting-a-sequel-and-it-looks-pretty-good/.

Baird, Scott. “Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines 2 Announced, Story Details Revealed.” ScreenRant, 22 Mar. 2019, screenrant.com/vampire- masquerade-bloodlines-2-details/.

Bassili, Albert. “10 Best RPGs of All Time: Don't Miss Them Even in 2019.” Game Gavel, 14 May 2019, gamegavel.com/best-rpgs-of-all-time/. Capel, Chris J. “Vampire Bloodlines 2 Will Have Mod Support, plus Ray Tracing and DLSS.” PCGamesN, 23 Mar. 2019, www.pcgamesn.com/vampire-the-masquerade-bloodlines-2/vampire- bloodlines-2-mod-support.

“Game Info: VtM: Bloodlines 2.” Game Info | VtM: Bloodlines 2, 2019, www.bloodlines2.com/en/game-info.

Game Informer Staff. “The Top 100 RPGs Of All Time.” Game Informer, 1 Jan. 2018, www.gameinformer.com/b/features/archive/2018/01/01/the- top-100-rpgs-of-all-time.aspx.

“Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 25 Aug. 2019, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_Theft_Auto:_San_Andreas. Lane, Rick. “Reanimated: The Story of Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines.” Eurogamer, Eurogamer, 27 Apr. 2014, www.eurogamer.net/articles/2013-07-10-reanimated-the-story-of-vampire- the-masquerade-bloodlines.

PC Gamer. “The Best RPGs on PC.” Pcgamer, PC Gamer, 12 July 2019, www.pcgamer.com/best-rpgs-of-all-time/. Robertson, Adi. “Cult Role-Playing Game ‘Vampire: the Masquerade - Bloodlines’ Is Getting a Sequel.” The Verge, The Verge, 21 Mar. 2019, www.theverge.com/2019/3/21/18275652/vampire-the-masquerade- bloodlines-2-world-of-darkness-white-wolf-rpg-sequel-announced-release- date.

“Top 100 RPGs of All Time.” IGN, www.ign.com/lists/top-100-rpgs.

“Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines 2 Announced for 2020.”

Gamecheckup, Gamecheckup, 23 Mar. 2019, gamecheckup.com/vampire- the-masquerade-bloodlines-2-announced-for-2020/.

“Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 27 Aug. 2019, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire%3A_The_Masquerade_%E2%80%93_Blood lines.

“Vampire: The Masquerade.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 3 Sept. 2019, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire:_The_Masquerade#Video_games.

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alicedoessurveys · 8 years ago

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165 Questions

(this took a couple days to complete so I don't know if the answers will even make sense haha)

did you pay attention to anything you were being taught in health class? we didn't really have a ‘health class’ at our school. we had a whole day once a term where our usual lessons were cancelled and we were all split off into different groups to learn all that shit. i used to stay home on those days because the routine change sent my anxiety sky high

what are your feelings regarding shopping? i like it when I'm in the right mood

do you think people have any misconceptions about you? i think people sometimes mistake me for being rude or stuck up when its actually that I'm quite shy

have you ever worn fishnets? Nope

do you go somewhere to get your eyebrows done? my sister’s house

do you believe prayer really works? i do, especially after this week

do you have one best friend who is always there for you? kind of

describe one of your most emotional farewells. not really had any emotional farewells

have you ever been tied up? eh, nope.. well not in a serious way :’)

how many times have you been cussed out? i dont think i really have been in a genuine way, only ever jokingly

does it bother you when people ask personal questions? not really, if it did i wouldn't have a tumblr just for surveys haha

do you know anyone who’s been in jail? dont think so nope

have you ever considered acupuncture? Nope i cant do needles

have you ever watched the same sex undress? only when it happens in films/tv but never watched a guy get fully naked aha

have you ever seen the last person you kissed cry? Nope

have you ever seen your mom or dad drunk? Yeah, but only a handful of times

do you enjoy mario games? not really played Mario games tbh

do you think that necessities should be free? (ex. food, toilet paper) not sure

does it bother you when dogs lick you? i love my dogs but i don't really like being licked, i don't like the feeling of it especially on my face or feet

do you feed your pets human food? Occasionally, but we always double check before that its nothing poisonous or anything

which is worse: being sexist or racist? dont even get me started. They're both as bad as each other. The thing about racism is that its never picked up on when it happens to a white person. We experience it too, but for some reason it doesn't count if you're white.. Racism is NEVER okay and it affects ALL races. White people, black people and every skin colour in between.

do you think suicide is selfish? Only if the way you do it affects someone else. for example, jumping in front of a train or car, or throwing yourself of the top floor of a busy shopping centre in front of loads of people. thats when it gets selfish because youre forcing other people to witness something that could be potentially traumatising and could disturb them for the rest of their lives. Especially when it involves jumping in front of a vehicle because that driver has to live their life knowing that someone died because they hit them with whatever they were driving. personally, if someone jumped in front of my car and ended up dying i would never drive again and it would ruin my life. so yeah, thats when suicide is selfish, and this was a long answer haha

would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? No

what are the most embarrassing songs in your itunes library? probably glee songs

how picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? seems I'm not fussy enough from past experience :’)

do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? i wouldn't know

in your opinion, is it ever okay to get back with an ex? depends on the situation and why you broke up

what’s the first animal you go to see at the zoo? Whichever is closest to the entrance. we always need a system when we go to the zoo so we see everything haha

what’s the strangest or rarest creature you’ve seen at a zoo? when i went to australia zoo there were loads of creatures i didn't even know existed and i cant remember any of the names

what animal is at a zoo that really, in your opinion, shouldn’t be? im not sure. i think as long as the animals have a good way of life, are treated right and are happy then theres no reason why they shouldn't be at the zoo. and if being there means they're protected and can help the species not to go extinct then thats awesome!

do you like zoos or aren’t you bothered? i like the a trip to the zoo :) I'm gonna love taking a foster kid to the zoo

i offer you a cigarette, you say… no, and do not smoke anywhere near me

why do you think you were put on this earth? i haven't quite figured it out yet

is it ever okay to hit a child? when is this? it is never okay to hit a child

do you think violence in video/computer games influences the nation also? Maybe slightly, i think it can de-sensitise us and make us see violence as more normal. BUT saying that, i play gta and it doesn't make me want to go round punching/shooting people so it depends on the person i guess..

are you in any shape or form, racist? No. i don't understand it at all. at the end of the day, we’re all humans no matter where were born, what our nationality is, skin colour is. It doesn't matter. A person is a person.

are you in any shape or form, sexist? again it doesn't matter what gender you are, you're still a human being

how do you think the world will end? as a christian, i believe it ends when God decides it will end.

what natural phenomenon do you find the most beautiful? Aurora borealis or however you spell it

would you kill someone who killed a child? how about YOUR child? i dont think i could ever kill someone.

what is your favorite cover of a song? pretty much everything Pentatonix does. I LOVE their cover of ‘Hallelujah'

have you ever been in love with someone who was fatally ill? neve been in love

have you ever received or given a make-over? Yup, received a few. given a few, my male best friend was the best because he let us do a photoshoot of him in full make up and i still have the pictures :’)

do you know anyone who is HIV+? not that i know of

have you ever been to a desert? no, i was supposed to go riding camels in the desert while on holiday but i got sick and spent two days stuck in the hotel in bed

do you know any trans* people? Nope

what is your favorite beatles song? let it be.. is that them? Idk

what is the poorest you have ever been? Teenage years when i got £70 to last a month but it basically all went on my gym membership and bills.

i’m sure you know of the gamer fad on youtube. who’s your favorite? dont really follow any gamers, i like watching pointless blog play sims though

is there something written on your shirt right now? nope, its a plain black shirt

what is your favorite song to play on guitar hero or rock band? i dont play either of those

where do you find the surveys you take? i follow a load of survey Tumblrs and steal ‘em of there

what’s one weird/annoying thing your pet(s) tend to do? Sit at the door and bark every time they see a squirrel. or a bird. or a shadow. Literally anything and one of them will bark, then they all start barking and having four dogs barking its an absolute headache.

what’s your favorite song by your favorite artist? oh i cant answer that, i have too many favourites.

do you have an “original character?” i dont really get the question

what about a persona/fursona? wut..?

do you ever MAKE your own surveys? nope im not very original

why’s it the woman who have to give birth anyway if the man is physically stronger in most cases? first of all, rude. secondly, its all Eve’s fault.. read the bible

do you get good internet where you live? yeah its alright most of the time

ever had a cavity? how many? Never

ever broken a tooth? Nope

what did you do on the playground at your school as a child? i liked playing make believe. me and my friend in primary school came up with our own pretend kids tv show called witches and fairies where she played a witch, i played a fairy and we had adventures :’)

are you into comics? a bit

did you ever have computer disc games you played as a kid? Sims!! Rollercoaster tycoon & zoo tycoon.

what do you think of people who have therapists? Brave. I've had a few therapists during school/college so i know how difficult it is and i gave up on therapy so i really admire people who stick with it

do you have any of those adult coloring books? i have a few, my favourite is one full of the original Alice in wonderland artwork. ALSO i found out the other day theres a fantastic beasts one and i rally want it

ever ridden an elephant? Nope

deserts: dreary or beautiful? i think they can look beautiful in pictures but i imagine they'd be dreary irl

ever seen a panda? only in pictures

what kind a camera do you have? my phone is my main camera. i do own a Sony a290 dslr that i have to buy for college but i don't use it anymore

do you have stretch marks? where? don’t be shy, they’re tiger stripes! i do, on my thighs

lobsters: cool or scary? Scary

opposoms: total vermin or cute? i dont know what they are

what tv channel dominated your childhood? Cbbc

ever actually seen a snake in the wild? dont think i have nope

have you ever had a PET snake? what kind? NO! Snakes scare me

ever had an encounter with a snapping turtle? they’re scary! i have not nope

do you like oatmeal? Nope

wherever you live, have you ever seen your national bird? does England have a national bird?!

ever had a reptile as a pet that you had to feed crickets? Nope. i would like a bearded dragon, but having to feed it live bugs freaks me out. even just the thought of having the bugs in my house i cant even

ever play hearthstone? dont know what that is..

ever gone hunting? biggest thing you’ve ever shot? No. and I'm disgusted by people who do hunt

how about fishing? biggest thing you’ve ever caught? i used to fish with my grandad when i was a kid, but i only ever caught small ones

coolest place you’ve ever been fishing? Idk I've only ever been to lakes on camp sites

which is cooler: african or asian elephant? i didn't know there was a difference

craziest thing you’ve ever eaten? i dont eat crazy stuff, I'm too scared of eating crazy stuff

what’s in a camel’s back? Idk ask the camel

steve irwin: foolish for messing around with animals or brave for teaching us? Brave. i love Steve irwin, i think he did great work and its a shame he died. I've been to his zoo in australia and I’ve never seen happier animals in a zoo. we spent at least half an hour watching the tigers play in the water with the zoo keepers and you could tell there was a genuine love between them.

what do you think of people who put their whole life on social media? If thats what they want to do then fine.

don’t you think it’s a bit deceptive to wear a push-up bra? nope. if wearing a push up bra makes you feel better about yourself and gives you confidence then you do it!

do you truly believe we came from chimps? No

well, what do you think of extra bones and even organs in our bodies? why do we have them? Idk

if you could choose anyone to be your father, who would it be? my dad

weirdest video game you’ve ever played? i dont think I've played any weird games tbh

we’re having a pig-pickin’! whatcha eating? a what?

ever been on a scary hay ride? no I'm a chicken

ever been to a castle? Yuppie live like half an hour away from Warwick castle so I've been there a lot in my life

what’s your favorite kind of penguin? rockhopper- we had to make penguin masks in college for one of the shows the actors were doing so i made a mask of a rockhopper penguin

whales. should they be allowed in sea world? if they're treated right then yeah

ever seen an albino? whether it be human or animal? yeah there was someone in my school who was albino

what do you think of the song “miss jackson” by panic! at the disco? Don't think I've heard it

what is the wallpaper on your best friends cell phone? it used to be a picture of me and him but i don't know if he's changed it

do you feel comfortable singing in front of others? No

do you like using big words when you talk? No I tend to say words wrong and make a fool of myself

do you EVER use caps lock? Rarely. i cant read things very well if they're written in capitals

are you loud when you’re having sex? Doubt it

have you ever wanted to drop out of school? yes, i hated school but in England you're not allowed to just drop out

when was the last time you watched south park? dont think I've ever watched it

are you italian? nope

are you interested in photography at all? Yes i enjoy taking photos and used to be super into it but when i studied it in college i had such an awful time it kinda ruined it

any survey takers that annoy you on tumblr? nope

do you like bob marley? hes alright, I've not really listened to his music much so i don't really have an opinion

can you talk to your parents about anything without them judging or bickering at you? my mom, pretty much yeah. dad, not so much.

are you interested in art? a bit, not a lot though

don’t you think we’re spending too much money on exploring the mere theory of climate change? no i think were not spending enough. we should all be way more concerned with global warming than we are

everyone always wants to know your favorite animal. what’s your SECOND favorite? i dont have a first favourite so i cant have a second favourite. i just have a big list of favourites

who’s your favorite disney character? again, i don't have a favourite there are too many. i tend to like the sidekicks in the movies more than the main characters like Sven & Olaf from frozen, Pascal & Maximus from Tangled etc

have you ever taken the eharmony personality quiz? Nope

do you take vitamins? if so, what kinds? Vitamin C

how much was your prom dress? what’s the most you’d spend? my prom dress wasn't very expensive, I can't remember exactly how much it was. I still have it in my wardrobe but I don't like it

would you marry someone of a different religion? Possibly, if i loved them enough. and if they understood i wouldn't change my religion

how did you learn the word “fuck”? probably at school

if you could make one of your enemies your best friend, who would it be? i dont have enemies so idk

what is the last movie you saw in theaters? Passengers

have you ever got into a wreck? not a serious one nope

do you think you are an argumentative person? Not really, unless its something I'm passionate about or if I'm hurt by something

can you admit when you’re wrong? Yeah

are you easily confused? very :’)

do you think you would make a good wife/husband? i think i would

have you ever caught a butterfly? not on purpose.

have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? nope i dont drink so i wouldn't try make anyone else

do you like being kissed on the neck? no, it feels gross

favorite song by the band the offspring? never heard of them

how many times each morning do you press the snooze button? i dont set an alarm often and when i do i don't press snooze

when you go out to eat, what sides do your order with your food? normally fries

what video game or computer game are you best at? sims

how do you normally come across new music? listening to the radio, or when ads or videos use a song i like the sound of i find out what it is

what subject in school do you feel is the least necessary? English, I've never had to analyse a book or poem in my life since leaving school

do you enjoy power outages or do you get annoyed? no they're annoying

are you pretty politically correct? idk probably

have you ever behaved like a stalker? probably online yeah :’)

do you appreciate other people’s opinions? depends what its about

if you could pick your own pet name, what would it be? pet name for myself or for an actual pet..? I've already decided when i get my own dog i want to call it moose

do you care what’s going on in the world? i care, but i don't make an effort to find out cause its usually all depressing stuff

how many partners is too many? at one time or like in a lifetime..? lifetime it doesn't matter but if you have more than one parter at once then thats too many

do you examine the tissue after you blow your nose? nope

do you prefer boys to shave down there? Idk

how much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? she knows its non existent

are any of your siblings married? what are their spouse’s names? Nope ut she lived with her partner Tom

have you ever had a pet bird? Yeah, we used to own to cockatoos called bobby and beauty

how many times have you moved in your lifetime? 2

if you could get one piercing and one tattoo, where would you want them? dont want any piecrings. i have a tattoo already but i want another one on my ankle/foot of a lighthouse

would you consider yourself to be adventurous? Nope

has any part of your house ever been flooded? dont think so

is there anyone that you’re worried about right now? who and why? our foster baby, he's two weeks old tomorrow but he's still in hospital with drug withdrawals so he cant come home yet

if you won a lot of money, would you donate any of it? to what organization would you donate it? I would donate to dogs home or a mental health charity

describe the best friend you’ve ever had, or the best person you’ve ever known. I cab right now

have you ever adopted a stray animal? We've adopted a few dogs in my lifetime but none recently

what time did you wake up this morning? about 9am

ever wonder if you’re someone’s everything? yeah, i cant see anyone getting to know me and being like ‘shes perfect for me’ like srsly I'm too much of a mess

would you ever bleach your hair platinum blonde? not platinum nope

what is your mom’s middle name? Anne

do you know the color of your ex boyfriend/girlfriend’s eyes? n/a

have you had your wisdom teeth out? Nope

your appendix? yeah, mine burst when i was two years old and tried to kill me haha

#survey #long

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