#this game has consumed me fully for 2 months and then crushed me at the end

[what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque]

I am so... empty and happy and idk... experiencing withdrawal after that baldur's gate 3 epilogue yall

I can't get over everything around the endgame scenes with Karlach and Astarion (and I mean the "good" endings!), I am literally still processing it days later 😭

Plus Gale being a professor, free of the orb?? Shadowheart being at peace, finding herself and able to adopt the Owlbear?? Her visiting Gale and Tara for tea??? Making her own cider and wanting to do a reunion party every year??? Being invited to lecture Gale's students and bring Astarion too and also stay and chat in his tower??? Halsin gets to be a dad like he's always wanted with all the orphans??? Karlach has hope for a new engine and may return home and might be more than friends with Wyll??? Lae'zel raging her dream, riding red dragons and learning to be more diplomatic? Jaheira being Jaheria and Minsc visiting Astarion much to his dismay (and somehow when he's not with my Tav in the Underdark or looking for a cure lol)?? Just... everyone living their best lives??? All of the hugs!???? My heart is so full the more I think about it but I also want to see it in the game and not my head 😭

Only issue is who gets Scratch??? Where has he been the past 6 months and where is he staying afterwards?? Did I miss this detail??

Basically that epilogue is so so wholesome and hopeful. Got me feeling like this once again

[iren-n-ire]

Astrology Observation 8

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

🚩 Take note that I'm not a professional astrologer, I just share what I experienced (or observed).

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

┈┈┈┈․° ☣ °․┈┈┈┈

⚠️THIS BLOG WILL BE LONG, I BET THERE'LL BE AN INFINITE PARTS LOL⚠️

Shoutout to @oldsoulinanewera for today's super long blog. Now my hands & arms are tired🤣 typing this. Thank you for your question♥

Venus in the 8th house... I'll be speaking my experience as someone who have this.

💔 I love secrets and I can keep it to myself even if they don't believe I can (ya know that so called trust issues type people who said that are you sure that you're keeping it hidden?)

💔 If you want a living yandere, this definitely it lol (if they let themselves be consumed by it.)

💔 Venus is related to beauty so as you can see my tumblr aesthetic screams Scorpios' home: the 8th house

💔 My closet is highly composed of black fashion then white and red comes next

💔 They both love to be a top and bottom (if you know what I mean😎)

💔 Admirers maybe hidden, good at hiding their feelings, they may also keep their feelings to themselves or a few people, no more like one person lol because the more people you share it, it's no longer a secret ya know and the same goes to the natives.

Idk but my present crush right now, why do I feel they have feelings for me lol so I just say to myself I'm delusional (I already confessed). Maybe they have a little? Whatever let's go back on to the the topic lol

💔 You're the obsession of everyone, magnetic as everyone says

💔 You didn't expect some people or THAT person have feelings for you

💔 If you don't want to read this anymore because its long lol in short: their ideal or type obviously screams the characteristics of a Scorpio, 8th house which goes to our next bullet;

💔 Love life of these natives are: enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies, revengers to lovers, partners in crime, ride or die, crazy in love

They're ideal love story maybe screams this too

💔 You want mind games in your love life? Go with these natives lol (Remember that Libra is paired with Venus and Libra is an Air sign)

💔 If they're not yandere, they'll be tsundere🤣

💔 Maybe too indepent or dependent to their lover and it's a never ending switch of it

💔 They are intimidating physically speaking; the way they deliver their message is strong verbally, it always have an impact on others

💔 You want someone clingy, possessive, will let you live in their mind and body rent free? Go with these natives

💔 They are worth the wait, trust me especially if their Venus is conjuct with Saturn

💔 Extras: Venus conjuct with Saturn has always these part two or season 2 in their lovers or crushes. If you don't get it then here's an example:

Let's say you moved on from your crush in September then you let the feelings come back again the next year in October after the two months of simping to them, you moved on fully.

💔 As stated on the example above, you may have these tendencies because you're missing the adrenaline rush

💔 Have rebound tendencies?

💔 Fifty Shades... they might be into these kinds of ya know...

💔 The simp of emotionally unavailable people, why? 8th house have themes similar to Lilith and Chiron so if they're crushes or type have this, it's like they want to be the one who'll let them be vulnerable or fall for someone again. Again, 8th is transformation.

💔 These natives have THAT sex appeal, people maybe lowkey sexualizing them

💔 The Venusian type who plays hard to get and loves to play the chaser as well😆

💔 Love Game? Count me in! (depends on the native if it includes seggs)

💔 Shameless sometimes and doesn't give a fudge because what happened happened and it is what it is

💔 Eye magnet of the humanity because they scream intimidating bish energy so it's annoying when you always need to make the first move.

💔 Love is a distraction or destruction to them

💔 People have high expectations and huge respect to them.

💔 Ghosters as well when they feel like they want change, when life is falling apart for them they do this too (though everyday is a never ending transformation to them)

💔 The topic of the gossip when they're not around

💔 People are curious what's going on inside their head in public because they cold blooded looking and seems detached

One time, my Capricorn sun friend told me I look tired💀

💔 Suppression of emotions tendencies

💔 Their favorites (anime, manga, manhua, manhwa, movies etc.) always have that 8th house & scorpio things

💔 Mama I'm in love with a criminal

💔 Can be the villain in any story especially ROMANCE lol, the ones who is just an option

💔 The one that got away

💔 Has an extreme, strong, and colossal that no titan (Attack on Titan) nor wander (Shadow of the Colossus) can climb or break. As other tumblrians in the astro community said, they have so many tests like a teacher💀 for you to be qualified in their verified circle of their hearts.

💔 Danger sounds fun to me

💔 Connecting their music taste here (since Venus is the planet of love), they love rnb, slowed & reverbed versions, rock

💔 Songs about toxic love & seggs is also their faves (rebel songs as well)

💔 One of the most loyal Venusians in my opinion

💔 When moving on, they're always be like: its time to be the Killer Queen/King, definitely the definition of Taylor Swift's Reputation

Btw, that is my no.1 fav album of hers 😎

💔 When it comes to the artist, Lana Del Ray, The Weekend, Chase Atlantic, Mother Mother, The Neighborhood, Arctic Monkeys etc.

💔 Spouse maybe their sugar daddy (can be literally) or they will be financially stable if not rich

💔 The people who don't need to be sugar babies because they're spoiled in some way by strangers, friends, family

💔 LOVE x HATE is their THANG

💔 This is like a Virgo Venus, analytical in love

💔 Sarcastic and blunt in love or in their relationships as whole (from family, friends, and so on...)

💔 They said that people with this Venus crave deep, passionate, and meaningful relationship, it's true.

💔 Loves too much so they suffer too much if they break

💔 Open minded to the Taboos because they're here to break some irrational things that are called Tabooz

💔 I don't have any plastic in my DNA so get lost if you have

💔 Poker facers

💔 Rejection? I'm used too much to that so why bother?

💔 Third parties or love triangle or harem seems to be a pattern

Almost all of my ex crushes situationships have that and let me tell you, bro is living the harem dream💀 why? Majority of them are Libra🙂

💔 Basically, they're picky lovers as well: ALL OR NOTHING in love

💔 They're member of the Tarot Community and ofc, Astrology Community. Oh! They're also witches too!

💔 Lilith is also like Venus in the 8th house

💔 Love language: Physical Touch & Quality Time but lowkey expects gifts🤣

💔 Has that addicting energy to them, alluring too

💔 Do you love spicy (& sweet spicy) foods like how spicy you are? (Bc I do)

💔 Favorite colors? Probably black (red too)

💔 Some songs to describe us girls 8th Venus (may apply to boys as well): Dark Horse (Katy), Killer Queen(Tsai), Boyfriend (Dove), Goddess (Jaira), High Enough (K.Flay)

🍷 The following are really personal so I'm just showing mine as an example:

♥ 8TH VENUSies wallpaper:

💋 8TH VENUSies makeup:

👠 8TH VENUSies fashion:

❣️8TH VENUSies ideal boy:

┈┈┈┈․° ☣ °․┈┈┈┈

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

❤️‍🔥FOLLOW ME HERE❤️‍🔥

Facebook Pages: IREN & IRE

Instagram: iren_n_ire

Pinterest: iren_n_ire

Twitter: iren_n_ire

Tiktok: iren_n_ire

Tumblr: iren_n_ire

YouTube: iren_n_ire

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

❤ Thank you! See you on my next post! ❤

💋 Be you, Do you, You are You! 💋

[halfmoth-halfman]

may i interest you in some fic recs????😉

y'all know the drill, we got a rec list for fics i read, liked, and were written in the month of may!! there were so many that i actually had to split this into two posts cause tumblr has a link limit LOL

if you wanna see more more of my fic recs and favs, i have em all on my recs blog, here!! please note the navi page is still under construction!!

and of course, if you have any fic recs of your own, feel free to send em my way here or on my sideblog - i love finding new fics and writers!! 💜

may fic recs pt. 2

Alex Keller

sfw headcanons - @deadbranch

✧ super solid characterization for alex, like you took how i imagine alex to be and explained it in the perfect way. like this line alone "Bearing his thoughtful & intentional demeanor in mind, he is sometimes reticent as he considers how to respond." what is it like to be able to understand a character so well, and be able to so beautifully explain them??

Anakin Skywalker

redshift - @chaoskrakenuwu

✧ how dare you pull me back into my star wars hyperfixation, and even more so how dare you make me feel things for anakin goddamn skywalker 😭 even though i knew what was going to happen, you still have me tearing up every time i read about anakin and his big feelings

Arthur Morgan

until the last falling star || blood upon the snow - @lunallaa

✧ i always love me a good arthur morgan fic and this was absolutely fantastic!! i cannot wait to see where this goes, i know it's going to be amazing because you're characterization of arthur (and the rest of the gang) is *chef's kiss*

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw

i fully blame @uselsshuman & @lunallaa for introducing me to tg:m and giving me brainrot and also cannot thank them enough!!

right now - @uselsshuman

✧ i'm such a sucker for characters holding in their feelings until a life or death situation when they finally confess, and you wrote it so great. i was giggling, and twirling my hair and cheering along with the rest of the squad at the end!!

i wanna hold you - @uselsshuman

✧ love me a good panic attack/comfort fic and this scratched that itch so unbelievably well!! it felt v close to my own experience with panic attacks and really hit home for me. very easily one of my fav new comfort fics!!

Carlos Oliveira

untitled - @cowboybxtch

✧ yeah i've been stunned to silence with this one absolutely no words just

David "Hesh" Walker

crimson fangs sing me lullabies - @halcyone-of-the-sea

✧ it's the way that i dropped everything to consume all 18k words of this fic like my entire life depended on it!! i've been turned into a hesh girlie, i am obsessed, taken over by the absolute perfection of this fic

Jake "Hangman" Seresin

darlin' loves only a game - @uselsshuman

✧ i need more "teaching someone how to play pool" fics in my life, esp ones like this!! the teasing, the hands on the hips, the flirty touching i need all of it. such a cute, fun fic emma i love it

would that i - @uselsshuman

✧ "The small tabby cat that had been your kitchen companion—affectionately named Sock for his one white paw." forget everything else, Sock is my new favorite character. this is a Sock stan account now. for real tho, i love the way you write jake and make him the perfect amount of tease and gentleman!!

Javy "Coyote" Machado

worry, my love - @uselsshuman

✧ ahh the source of my tg:m hyperfixation, i was so excited when you posted this and read it about 87 times and i'll probably read it 87 more time tbh. i love javy and the way you write him (and him using the word skedaddle LOL)

John "Soap" MacTavish

right person - @halcyone-of-the-sea

✧ how dare you. really, who gave you the right to do this to me? why must you hurt me in this way? why must you write so beautifully and so captivatingly that i literally could not put this down despite the ever growing pit in my stomach? you've ripped out my heart and crushed it to tiny pieces and all i can say is thank you and how dare you

cleaned up - @bloodyknucklesforme

✧ this was so cute, and omg i adore nina. she's so funny, and their banter and her little quips are adorable. “Next time have Kyle spray you down before you get back." adksadlj i love her.

memories are fresh - @mvtthewmurdvck

✧ it's not a fic rec list if i don't include a piece from jo that completely breaks my heart and then puts it all back together again with such beautiful words and sweet moments. idk how you manage to work my emotions so well, i'm in complete awe of your ability and talents.

infinity in the palm of your hand (eternity in an hour) - @yeyinde

✧ hello?? reincarnation!au??? soulmates??? not even a paragraph in and i'm completely bewitched by this fic. i can't be expected to be normal after this, this fic has re-shaped the way i feel and think and read.

[imkylotrash]

Searching For Calm

Pairing: Sky x Stella. Sky x reader. 

Request: Maybe you could write a Sky one where reader is always there for him and he just sees Stella. So the reader (mind fairy) shuts herself out and it takes some time for him to notice. Anonymous

A/N Ignore the text on the gif. I couldn’t find one I liked for this fic. 

“Are we still on for tonight?” you ask knowing what’s coming but hoping you’re wrong. Sky doesn’t notice your face fall when he shakes his head.

“Sorry, I promised Stella she could come over. She had a rough day.” You want to scream at him that every day is hard for you. Every day you wake up and feel every emotion that runs through Alfea. Happy, sad, lonely, scared. Some days you can’t even figure out which feelings are your own. You want to confess how the only calm you ever feel is when you’re with Sky, but it doesn’t matter. He only has eyes for Stella. 

“Yeah, no problem. Talk tomorrow then?” He never has the chance to answer. Stella sits down on his lap stealing away the short time you and Sky had alone. You literally feel her dislike as she turns slightly your way. 

“Oh, I didn’t see you there.”

“Yeah. There’s a lot of things you didn’t notice,” you mumble hinting at the five empty chairs around the table but they’re already to consumed by each other to pay any more attention to you. 

“Bye, Sky.” There’s no reply, but you didn’t expect one. It’s been 2 months like this ever since Stella decided that Sky was good enough for her despite her dumping him over the summer to spend time with other boys. A fact they’ve both decided to ignore. You put on headphones hoping it might help you drown out everyone’s emotions. You know Farah told you to focus on shutting other people’s emotions out, to only feel them when you want to. But lately, you haven’t been able to focus and you have a suspicion it might be related to the way Sky’s been treating you. 

“They’re locking tongues again. It’s getting disgusting.” Riven appears next to you with a sour look on his face. The one person who just might hate the relationship more than you. 

“I know. He cancelled on me again.” 

“He’s treating you like trash.” You sense his anger more than you see it. You’ve been a trio since you were young and Stella has gone ahead and ruined that. She dislikes you and Riven and for some reason Sky always chooses her. You guess love really does blind people. 

“He treats you like trash too,” you counter not ready to face the truth yet. 

“Yeah, but most of the time I deserve it. You, however, doesn’t ever deserve it.” He’s radiating affection as he looks at you. He’s well aware of your crush on Sky and he’s made his feelings clear on more than several occasions that you deserve someone who actually cares. He’s like your big brother, always looking out for you. 

“I was thinking I might just take some time to myself. See if he misses me.” It’s a very cruel game that you’ll be playing with yourself because you know he won’t notice. Not as long as he’s dating Stella. Riven puts his arm around you as you walk down the hallway. 

“I think that’s the smartest thing you’ve said in months.” You nudge him lightly but regrettably have to agree with him. In the next couple of weeks, you stay away from Sky. And even though you already knew his reaction, it still feels like someone is pulling at your heartstrings when you see him being just fine. It’s like he doesn’t even realise that you’re not around. Riven tries his hardest to cheer you up, but now that you’re without any comfort from your powers, you feel the toll much more than before. You start sleeping in Riven’s bed whenever Sky stays over at Stella’s. There’s nothing more than friendly comfort in it. Slowly, Riven becomes your escape from everyone else and it feels so good. You know you shouldn’t depend on others to help you cope with your feelings but it’s all you can do right now. Tonight is one of those nights where Riven has the room to himself. Or at least that’s what he’s been told by Sky but for some reason he stumbles through the door in the middle of the night. 

“Y/N?” He sees you first. There’s no missing the feeling of betrayal going through him. You know exactly what he’s thinking. Riven? Really? It’s all over his face and you hate it. You hate that he gets to judge you when he hasn’t talked to you in weeks. 

“I thought you were going to be with Stella tonight?” Riven starts to stir next to you.

“We got into a fight. What are you doing here?” 

“I’m sleeping.” You know you should tell him that there’s nothing between you and Riven but there’s a small, petty part of you that really likes how he feels right now. 

“Yeah, but with Riven? Are you dating or something?” He’s trying to act unbothered but you’re both painfully aware of your ability to feel everything he feels. 

“That’s none of your business, man.” Cue Riven who’s ready to provoke Sky. He’s been upset with him for a while and with the way Sky is acting right now, Riven can’t help himself. This is going to end in a fight if you don’t get it under control. 

“I can’t sleep alone, okay? I haven’t been able to for a while. Riven calms me.” You thought you were defusing the situation but somehow your comment just makes everything much worse.  

“He calms you? So I’m not good enough anymore?” His voice almost breaks and in turn something breaks inside of you. He doesn’t get to be the one with the broken heart. He let you go and forgot you even existed. He spent the last four weeks in Stella-land and now that they’ve had a fight, suddenly you’re good enough. You’re about to tell him off but Riven beats you to it. 

“You haven’t been here! She’s been going through shit and you’ve been so caught up with yourself that you didn’t even notice that you guys haven’t talked for weeks. If anything you should be thankful, I’ve been here!” The situation is escalating much faster than you thought possible. They both radiate feelings overwhelming you. It’s difficult to keep track of which feelings belong to who. 

“He’s right, Sky. Ever since you and Stella got back together, all you’ve seen is her. You cancelled all of our plans and completely cut me out.” You want to cry or hit Sky right in the face and you’re not sure which feeling is your own right now. Instead of doing either of those you get up and run away from the situation entirely. They both call after you but you just need to find a quiet place away from people’s feelings. You run outside and down the field. There’s a tree at the very back that you’ve crawled up more times than you remember. It’s always been your safe spot whenever you needed to get away. You’re hoping that Sky doesn’t remember it and after an hour alone you start to feel safe. But then you feel it - or more precisely him. There’s no doubt in your mind that he’s coming right at you.

“Y/N, I’m coming up.” You want to scream at him to go away but suddenly you’ve gone mute. 

“I’m so sorry. I’ve been a dick.” You don’t argue with that statement. He really has been a dick.

“Riven really set me straight after you left. And when he started pointing it out, I realised that I haven’t been myself. I’ve been distant and cold, I’ve taken you for granted,” he says and you feel his regret just as much as you see it on his face. 

“I never meant to do that. I got so caught up in Stella’s web and because of that I hurt the person who means the most to me.” 

“You took away my calm,” you mumble blinded by tears. It sounds so childish saying out loud but he was the one person who could make you feel normal. His energy cancelled out everyone else’s. You look over at him blinking several times before being able to focus on his face. 

“I’m really sorry.” He takes your hands in his and you let him. It’s that heart of yours that’s betraying you. It always beats a little faster when he looks at you. 

“I can’t do this again. I can’t keep losing you over and over again,” you admit dangerously close to just owning up to your feelings. How he takes your breath away just walking towards you, how he makes you smile even at your worst moments, how he makes your palms sweat whenever he’s near. You want to admit it all because you’re so tired of having to hide your own feelings when everyone else can have their feelings heard. 

“You won’t have to. I ended things with Stella before I came out here. When I saw you with Riven,” he pauses to take a deep breath, ”I felt my heart crack. I hated the idea of seeing you with anyone else.” You stop breathing. For once, you use your powers to reach out and feel his fully. You feel like screaming when you notice the very feeling you’ve been consumed by yourself. 

“Did you just-”

“No!” You say it too quickly. He knows what you did but he doesn’t seem to mind it. He smiles as he takes your hand. 

“I know this is really poor timing and I hate how much it took for me to realise that what I feel for you is way beyond how I should feel for a friend. But if there’s even a small part of you that cares for me like that, I’d really like a second chance.” You’re pretty sure you’re dreaming because there’s no way you went from being ignored by him to have him confess his feelings for you. It doesn’t change how fast your heart is beating in your chest or the blush creeping onto your cheeks. 

“You just got out of a relationship, Sky.” Even though your heart is all for jumping into his arms and riding off into the sunset, the logical part of your brain can’t help but recall how he was in a relationship up until an hour ago. 

“I’m too late, aren’t I?” 

“I really like you, but I also feel like I don’t know you anymore. I look at you and see the face of my best friend, but I also see a stranger.” You don’t know how to explain it properly but somehow Sky gets it. 

“How about we start out easy? Get to know each other again.” He cups your cheek as he looks into your eyes. He opens his mind to let you know that he truly means everything he’s said. You can feel his feelings yelling to be heard. 

“I’d like that.” 

[experiment-000]

My Top 10 Ships of 2020

It's been a weird year but I've seen other people doing this. Plus this year I've been way more into gen fics (love a bit of found family especially in clone wars and marvel) than anything shippy. So I genuinely don't know what imma put on here aside from two ships for sure. Sorry this post is super long idk how to do the below the cut thing and I've had this app for 5 years...

10) Viktor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki - Yuri!!! On Ice

It was a real toss up between this, supercorp, kanera and wolfstar cos they're all very integral ships to my fan heart but this son because of the Yuri on Ice fandom's rebirth this year. I've never stopped shipping this, never stopped reading fanfic of them for any extended period of time, they're still my most bookmarked ship on ao3 (although I think now star wars - all media types may have overtaken them for fandom). They were one of the first things I watched where the queer ship I loved became canon and I can't wait for the film (and hopefully someday a season 2). Heck I even made my mum watch Yuri on Ice with me so I think that says it all.

9) Edelgard Von Hresvelg and female Byleth - Fire Emblem: Three Houses

My first fire emblem game was fates when I was like 14 (and finally gay awake lol). I was so disappointed that I had to be with a guy character because the only female option was kinda creepy and also I wouldn't get the character of kana. So when three houses came out I was so happy because finally there were beautiful incredible female characters my female byleth could romance (I'm so sorry mlm you deserved so much more than you got). I got the game as soon as it came out (had to search a lot of shops let me tell you) and started on black eagles. I was actually kinda disappointed back in 2019. I didn't like the explore the monastery bit (still find it kinda tedious) and the battle mechanics weren't quite the same as fates (no pairing up?! Aka my main battle technique for protecting the weaker units). So I got like 20 hours in and put it down. Came back to it in lockdown and finally finished it! I'm so proud of myself I virtually never finish games. And I fully fell in love with the useless lesbian edelgard in the process. When I started back playing in 2020 I was like eh I wish I'd picked a different character to romance (like shes an emperor that's morally very shady) but then the romance stuff started with edelgard and I fell the heck in love.

8) Cory Matthews and Shawn Hunter (and Topanga Lawrence) - Boy Meets World

Disney+ was released in the UK this year and I finally got the opportunity to watch boy meets world in its best quality (aka not on YouTube). I watched it back when I was like 12 or 13 and it's such a nostalgic show for me. Watching it again I still absolutely adore it (and my bi ass was low-key crushing on Shawn especially in chick like me - I'm 18 btw and I got so scared for a sec but rider strong was 18 when chick like me came out so it's fine woah). And of course now I see the possibilities of the beautiful Cory and Shawn relationship like they were so bromance it was basically romance and throw in topanga it's the perfect ot3 (but I'm also fine with just Cory and Shawn or just Cory and Topanga). Read some good fanfic for them this year. My favourite was one about Shawn stealing makeup and stuff and exploring gender (need more fics like this I'm biiii).

7) Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes - Marvel Cinematic Universe

I rewatched all the MCU films this year too. And got really into Peter parker whump and irondad. Plus my eternal obsession with identity and relationship reveals of course led me from Spiderman identity reveals (and found family cuteness) to stucky coming out. Especially when it involves the internet and social media. Not my favourite ship but it's been significant to my year due to the sheer amount of marvel stuff I've read.

6) Satine Kryze and Obi Wan Kenobi - Star Wars

I rewatched clone wars in prep for season 7 and wow Satine's death was sad and sudden. She first appeared in S2 E13 I think and just the sheer sexual tension of their bickering. "The sarcasm of a soldier. The delusion of a dreamer." Just ugnnhhh my bi ass can't take much more of this. And Anakin just sipping his wine in the background grinning. And I fully believe korkie is a Kenobi.

5) Commander Cody and Obi Wan Kenobi - Star Wars

I am very much an Obi wan multishipper. I don't really have a favourite but I fully believe he was with satine and Quinlan in his life. I don't think be would've actually done anything with Cody because of the whole superior officer thing. And this probably isn't even my favourite Obi wan ship - that honour probably goes to quinobi or obitine. However the most popular ships in the fandom are codywan, quiobi and obikin. No offence to anyone who ships these they're just personally not to my taste, but I can't stand quiobi, and obikin I find only slightly more tolerable and I think that's just because there's so much obikin content so if I like the concept of a fic that happens to be obikin I'll read it. I'm just not a fan of the mentor/student relationships. So I generally favoured the codywan fics when there was shipping involved meaning I read a lot of them this year. Needed that nice fix it content post season 7.

4) Zuko and Katara - Avatar: the Last Airbender

Again I am a multishipper I have nothing against zukka it's cute. But I'm a zutara shipper first and foremost because when I first watched avatar I was like 13 and denying my gayness and gayness in general so I shipped the straight things and the straight things only. Most of these ships I stopped shipping - dramione, spuffy, some my little pony ones which we don't talk about. Zutara stayed. (I have nothing against any of the things I used to ship I just stopped shipping them so much/shipped new things more). I've continuously shipped zutara since I first watched avatar even if I didn't necessarily spend that much time on it it has always been here as one of my favourite ships. It has such good fanfic I swear including my favourite ever fanfic from any fandom - love thy enemy. Plus like the black games (reread this for the millionth time this year), a delicate subterfuge (which I read for the first time this year and damn it's so good) and so many more. With the avatar resurgence this year I haven't actually rewatched avatar aside from my normal random episode every now and then when I feel like it. But there's been a lot of avatar on my dash from people I follow getting into it and people I followed for avatar returning so naturally I returned to the fandom and read quite a lot of fanfic. I also read just a lot of avatar gen fics which were great at the whole found family thing I've been so obsessed with this year.

3) Catra and Adora - She Ra and the Princesses of Power

Catradora is canon! They kissed! What more is there to say. Arguably they should've been top but I never shipped them that much since I was always very much a multishipper when it came to she ra so yes I was very happy it became canon because we actually won for once but also I've never read much fanfic for them etc. But they are very much a dynamic I love and watching she ra all again in prep for season 5 I really enjoyed the build up of their relationship. The other two only go above because Buffy is my favourite show ever and damn there's some good fuffy fanfic and Aphra and Tolvan is both fresh in my mind and star wars owns me. Would love some catradora fic recs btw if anyone has them tho.

2) Buffy Summers and Faith Lehane - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I didn't realise it was last year that I got super into them but according to my ao3 bookmarks it was lol. 2020 I swear it's lasted an eternity. I got into them about a month before lockdown (which feels like another lifetime). I've loved Buffy since I first watched it when I was 13. It's arguably still my favourite TV show. I've been through a lot of ships for Buffy - bangel to spuffy and now fuffy. I still think angel and her were a beautiful ship back in season 2 and especially in the angel episode I will remember you. But faith and Buffy had so much chemistry in season 3 - she would've been a fresh start for Buffy and the amount of fix it fics I read I swear. My favourite has to be one where they met in LA during Anne and how that changed everything feat Buffy's internal homophobia.

1) Cheili Lona Aphra and Magna Tolvan - Star Wars

I read Darth Vader (2015) and Doctor Aphra (2016) for the first time at the end of 2020 (got a comic subscription which has served me very well already I've nearly finished the star wars canon comics). Just to see canon queer ladies in star wars was so magical for me as a queer lady. I didn't think star wars would be so overt yet as to have a queer kiss in canon (even if it's in the comics) and especially not with the main character of arguably their main comic series. Now we just gotta hope that we'll get it in live action someday soon. They weren't the ship I consumed the most content of in 2020 but they were the highlight of my 2020 because star wars did that and I finally found out about it

Honourable mentions: Vivian and Elle - Legally Blonde, Candace and Vanessa - Phineas and Ferb, Stevie and Alex - Wizards of Waverly Place, Xander and Spike - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I actually don't ship this but damn some authors are good - this was the ship that made me realise I don't need to like a ship if the author is good enough to write it well), Eli Vanto and Mitth'raw'nuruodo - Star Wars (started reading the books last year but finished this year and only started with fanfic this year), Villanelle and Eve - Killing Eve, Kanan and Hera - Star Wars, Barriss and Ahsoka - Star Wars, Remus and Sirius - Harry Potter, Kara and Lena - Supergirl (let's hope this becomes canon next year!) (Those last four are ones I've shipped forever some of my og ships but nothing particularly big has happened for me this year with them so)

I got Disney+ this year so rewatched a fair few things from my youth and though hey my obsession with that character may have been a little gay.

[possiblyawesometmblr]

Unus Annus: A Complete Ranked List

well, now that every single video has been released, i’ve compiled them all into a complete ranked list, from best video to worst! this took way longer than it had any right to.  (also, please note this is just my opinion, and in all honesty, this list was really hard because so many of these videos are fantastic. you could tell me that you’d rearrange anything in the 50-250 range and i’d probably agree with you.) 

And if you don’t feel like going through the whole list, here’s Unus Annus ranked by month!

If the video is in: Top 50: 5 points 51 - 100: 4 points 101 - 150: 3 points 151 - 200: 2 points 201 - 250: 1 point 251 - 300: 0 points 300 or below: -1 point (Any ties settled by which month had the highest ranking video overall.)

November: 93 October: 72 December:70 September: 66 February: 66 August: 63 June: 60 January: 59 July: 53 May: 43 March: 37 April: 1

The Truth of Unus Annus (Oct. 31st)

Ethan Finally Becomes a MAN (Jan. 10th)

Phasmophobia in Real Life (Oct. 25th)

Mark and Ethan Attempt an Escape Room (Dec. 6th)

Hunting HeeHoo (Aug. 29th)

DIY Geriatric Simulator (Jan. 18th)

Recreating Every Single Unus Annus Video (Nov. 4th)

Mark Teaches Ethan to Read with Hooked On Phonics (Jun 6th)

Ethan Gives Mark a Viking Funeral (Dec. 9th)

Cooking with Sex Toys (Nov. 15th)

Mark Reviews the Impossible Burger But There’s a Looming Sense of Impending Doom (Dec. 13th)

Helium Therapy (Nov. 29th)

2 Truths and 1 Lie -- Waxing Edition (Nov. 26th)

Ethan Will Be Kicked in the Balls (Nov. 22nd)

Being Brutally Honest With Each Other (Nov. 3rd)

Would Chica Save Us From Drowning? (Jul. 24th)

Mark and Ethan are Now Fathers (Mar. 22)

Ethan Kidnapped Mark (Oct. 30th)

Mark’s Outdoor Escape Room (Aug. 28th)

The Unus Annus Last Supper (Nov. 2nd)

Mark and Ethan Go Casket Shopping (Jan. 11th)

The Sensory Overload Tank (Jan. 7th)

Mark and Ethan Summon a Ghost (Nov. 25th)

Mark Knows What Ethan Did… (Sep. 22nd)

Pee Sauna (Jun 17th)

We Made Nude Paintings of Each Other (Dec. 14th)

All of Our Video Ideas that Never Happened (Nov. 5th)

Mark Teaches Ethan How to March in a Marching Band (Sep. 4th)

Hiding Our Sins From Amy’s Holy Peepers (Jan. 2nd)

Our Perfect (and last) Valentine’s Day (Feb. 14th)

The Barrel - Official Music Video (Mar. 9th)

Edward Pumpkin Hands (Oct. 26th)

This Video Is Completely Unedited (Oct. 17th)

Ethan Teaches Mark How to Swim (Jun. 28th)

The Unus Annus Annual Sleepover (Nov. 12th)

Everything’s Legal if You’re Dead (Nov. 10th)

Harnessing Our Dogs’ Unlimited Energy (Dec. 23rd)

2 Grown Men Attempt the Presidential Fitness Test (Dec. 31st)

Learning to Breathe Underwater (Jan. 13th)

Playing Children’s Games in Total Darkness (Aug. 17th)

The Unus Annus Annual Costume Contest (Oct. 28th)

Saying Goodbye to All Our Guests (Nov. 9th)

We Got Pepper Sprayed (Mar. 10th)

The Cryptid Olympics (Oct. 24th)

Mark and Ethan Get Into a Fight (Mar. 8th)

Mark Punishes Ethan (Jan. 27th)

Ethan Watches as Mark Achieves the Impossible (Sep. 29th)

Drunk College Party Simulator (Feb. 15th)

God’s Fitness Test (Nov. 8th)

3 Big Boys Attempt the King’s Royal Fitness Test (Feb. 18th)

The Beginning of the End (Jul. 26th)

Mark Cooks Blindfolded While Ethan Guides Him Through FaceTime (May 22nd)

Pitching a Tent in the Woods But There’s a Bear 15 Feet Away (Aug. 22nd)

We Forced James Charles to Run a Military Obstacle Course (Mar. 23rd)

We Tried a Labor Pain Simulator (Mar. 20th)

The Bad Kind of Cupping (Nov. 20th)

Ethan Destroys Mark’s Van with a Bat (Dec. 7th)

Duct Tape Crucifixion (Amy, Please Don’t Watch This Video) (Dec. 29th)

A Bear Attacked Us in the Middle of the Night (Aug. 24th)

Mark and Ethan Look at a Puppy for 10 Minutes (Jul 7th)

Building the World’s First IKEA Boat (Jun 27th)

Goat Yoga (Feb. 22nd)

10 Strange Amazon Products Ethan Bought Mark Because He Doesn’t Know How To Spend Money Responsibly (Feb. 16th)

Top 10 Worst Things Your Friend Could Possibly Spend Their Money On (Feb 29th)

Fixing Mark’s Hole with Ramen But Every Time We Add Glue We Get 5% Closer to God (Jan. 14th)

Being Attacked By a Fully Trained Bodyguard Dog (Feb. 19th)

Preserving Ourselves in Wax (Dec. 26th)

Santa’s Mukbang (Drinking 1 Gallon of Eggnog) (Dec. 24th)

The Unus Annus Space Program (Jul 11th)

Ethan Explores Mark’s Haunted Basement (Dec. 17th)

Dummy THICC for Dummies | A Tale of Two Butts | Pushing Our Butts Even Further Beyond (Jul. 4th)

DIY Bungee Jump (please don’t try this) (Jan. 4th)

Unregulated Axe Throwing (Feb. 7th)

Making the Ultimate Unus Annus Burger (Sep. 15th)

How to Rescue a Cat from a Tree (Aug. 23rd)

Beer Sauna: Turning a Portable Sauna Into a Portable Hell (Mar. 16th)

The End of Unus Annus Is Almost Here… (May 15th)

We Accidentally Made an SCP While Amy Was Away (Sep. 13th)

We Play The Newlywed Game While Consuming That Which Will Kill the Other (May 23rd)

Building IKEA’s Hardest Piece of Furniture Without Instructions (Jun 18th)

Recharging Our Phones Using Only Brute Strength (Jul. 30th)

Eating Only Onions for 24 Hours: How Many Onions Does It Take to Kill a Man? (May 8th)

The Candy Bra Challenge (Jul 6th)

We Bought Every Grinch Costume on Ebay (Oct. 13th)

Only UNUS-es/ANNUS-es May Watch This Video (May 28th)

Only Watch From 2:25-6:11 --- DO NOT WATCH ANY OTHER PART OF THIS VIDEO (May 29th)

We Force Mark to Swim in the Ocean (HIS GREATEST FEAR) (Oct. 22nd)

Recreating The Miracle of Childbirth (Mar. 21st)

Making Our Own Sensory Deprivation Tank (Nov. 18th)

Turning Mark into an E-Boy (Feb. 2nd)

The First Annual Unus Annus Roast (Nov. 7th)

Reacting to Your Hilarious Green Screen Memes (Jun 5th)

The Ultimate Trolley Problem (Feb. 21st)

We Looked at Unus Annus Memes (Apr. 30th)

Exploring the Unus Annus Subreddit for Your Delicious Memes (May 16th)

BLACK LIVES MATTER: Resources and How You Can Help In The Description (Jun 2nd)

The Chubby Gummy Challenge (Dec. 4th)

Who Can Teach Their Dog a Trick the Fastest? (Mar. 5th)

Taped and Afraid (Dec. 20th)

We Played Strip Poker (May 20th)

Consuming the World’s Hottest Chip (Sep. 30th)

Mark and Ethan Learn About the Human Body (Jan. 26th)

1 Man 100 Accents (Dec. 1st)

Mark Steals Ethan’s Face (Jan. 15th)

Chickens Teach Us About Life and Death (Feb. 17th)

We Lubed Our Floor for a Sliding Competition (Aug. 3rd)

Mark Conquers His Fear of Night Swimming (Oct. 11th)

The Ultimate Paper Airplane Showdown (Jun 20th)

We Pierced Each Other’s Ears (Sep. 11th)

Crushing Watermelons Betwixt Our Mighty Thighs (Jun 3rd)

7 Minutes in Heaven | 7 Minutes in Hell (Nov. 11th)

Two Men in a Trench Coat Teach You How to Save Money at the Movies (Jun 26th)

Having an Adventure in VRChat Because We Can’t Go Outside (Mar. 27th)

Preparing a 5-Star Meal for Our YouTube Famous Dogs (Jul. 16th)

Mark and Ethan Shave Chica (Aug. 8th)

The Wubble (Aug. 7th)

How to Start a Fire (except don’t…) (Aug. 27th)

Unus Annus (Nov. 15th)

This Is Goodbye (Aug. 5th)

Puberty Simulator (Aug. 13th)

This Video Went Completely Out of Control (Oct. 1st)

This Video Will Never Make Sense (Sep. 23rd)

Blowing Our Souls into Some Hot Glass (Feb. 28th)

We Attempted to Create THICC Water (May 10th)

Brick Soccer (Sep. 19th)

Accepting the Truth (Nov. 1st)

Drinking Real THICC Water...How Bad Does It Taste? (May 19th)

How Far Can We Chuck a 16lbs Rock? (Sep. 10th)

Recreating Ourselves as a Cursed Mannequin (Jan. 8th)

Recreating Childhood Photos (Jun 13th)

Nutball: The Most Dangerous Game (Feb. 10th)

Mark Teaches Ethan How to Play the Trumpet (Aug. 1st)

How to Safely Bury Your Friend (Aug. 25th)

Mark Breaks His Nose on an Aerial Hoop (Oct. 4th)

DIY Bed of Nails: OH GOD, PLEASE DON’T EVER TRY THIS (Jul. 20th)

Pee Soda (Sep. 17th)

We Had to Drink Each Other’s Pee (Dec. 16th)

Creating Mark FISHbach (Jun 21st)

Making Our Own Gravestones to Prepare for Our Inevitable Demise (May 11th)

We Made Fanart for Each Other (Jun 11th)

Bear Trapping 101: An Elegant Knot for an Elegant Beast (Jun 25th)

Pressure Washing Our Sins Away (Oct. 21st)

Literally Finding a Needle in a Haystack (Oct. 8th)

We Ate Dog Treats so You Don’t Have To (Sept. 12th)

Giving Away Our 1,000,000 Subscriber Gold Play Button (Dec. 18th)

2 Idiots Get Crushed By 18-Ft Giant Snakes (Mar. 15th)

We Cryogenically Freeze Ourselves (Jan. 20th)

DO NOT OPEN UNTIL 2080 (May 27th)

Fighting Fish to the Death in the Deep Blue Sea (Oct. 23rd)

DIY Teeth (Jul. 17th)

We Attempt to Make UNHOLY Water (Sep. 24th)

We Attempt to Make Holy Water (Sep. 20th)

DIY Cheese (Jan. 29th)

Making an Indoor Tornado to Flex on Mother Nature (Feb. 9th)

Literally Eating Fire (Feb. 6th)

2 Absolute Beginners Experience the Dancing Glory that is Salsa (Jan. 17th)

Team Building for 2: Trust Fall, Tug-of-War, and More! (Aug. 26th)

The Great Ice Cream Cake Race (Sep. 27th)

The Unus Annus Confessional Booth (May 26th)

Blood Bath (Oct. 27th)

2 Dirty Boys Wash Their Filthy Mouths Out With Soap (Jun. 30th)

Who Can Make Themselves Taller? (Jan. 6th)

Mark and Ethan Share a Drink (Aug. 6th)

2 Adults Take a 4th Grade Math Test  (Sep. 6th)

Bobbing for Literally Anything But Apples (Oct. 16th)

Momiplier Teaches Self Defense (Aug. 15th)

The Human Mop (Jul. 21st)

We Attempt Pottery Without Amy’s Help (Sep. 8th)

Becoming One With the Horse (Jun 19th)

Wikifeet: A Tale of Two Tootsies (Apr. 4th)

We Found Websites That the World Forgot About (Apr. 11th)

1 Gallon of Jello Nearly Broke Us (Aug. 20th)

We Finally Drank Our DIY Wine (Sep. 5th)

We Do It Better Than Icarus Ever Could (Jul. 25th)

We Turned Our Bodies Into Art (Jan. 25th)

You Blink, You Lose (Dec. 30th)

Can You Bake a Cookie from Cookie Dough Ice Cream? (Jul. 13th)

Mark Turns Ethan into a Mummy to Prepare Him for the Great Beyond (Dec. 3rd)

Ethan Turns Mark Into a Werewolf (Oct. 29th)

Making Soda with Literally Anything But Soda (Sep. 16th)

Dunking Oreos in Literally Anything But Milk (Jul. 15th)

Making Snow Cones With Literally Anything But Normal Flavors (Sep. 7th)

How Many Slaps Does it Take to Cook a Chicken? (Sep. 2nd)

Play Doh Thanksgiving (Nov. 28th)

Hot Dog’d to Death (Nov. 17th)

Mark and Ethan Build a Scarecrow (Oct. 20th)

Transforming Mark into the Eighth Wonder of the World (Aug. 16th)

Unus Annus Try Pole Dancing (Jul 8th)

Mark Teaches Ethan to Wrestle (Sep. 28th)

Ethan Teaches Mark Gymnastics (Sep. 26th)

Who’s Cutting Onions in Here? (Nov. 6th)

How to Escape from a Hostage Situation (Jul. 18th)

Are We Already Dead? (Feb. 13th)

Bored? Press This Button (Apr. 27th)

Judging Your Terrible Unus Annus Ideas (Aug. 10th)

This is for FUN and NOT a Fetish (Oct. 10th)

This is What Being Tased Feels Like (Jan. 21st)

Learning the Ancient Art of Chinese Archery (Feb. 20th)

Tearing a Phone Book in Half With Our Huge Manly Hands (May 31st)

Beating Inanimate Objects to Death (Dec. 27th)

Edible Slime was a Mistake. (Feb. 23rd)

We Eat Bugs (Jan. 3rd)

Amy Sent Us a Mystery Box (Sep. 21st)

Hydro Dipping a Baby (Aug. 11th)

The Egg Smashing Game (Jul. 12th)

BEYBLADE NUTBALL (Sep. 14th)

Discussing the Idea of Murdering Each Other But It’s Just a Joke and Definitely Not Serious Haha (Feb. 12th)

Mark is Guilty. Ethan Has the Proof. (Jul 1st)

Learning How to Lockpick (FBI Please Don’t Watch) (Jun 22nd)

Mark Needs to Rub Ethan and Only His Mom Can Help Him (Mar. 14th)

Learning to Use the Force (Sep. 18th)

The Secret Unus Annus No-Touchy-Touchy Hand Shake (Apr. 25th)

We Google Each Other to Find Our Darkest Forgotten Sins (Apr. 6th)

Shooting Archery ON A HORSE (Oct. 6th)

Ethan Redefines Male Beauty (Feb. 3rd)

Ethan Roasts Mark for 15 Minutes Straight (Jun 7th)

Playing Cards: The World’s Deadliest Weapon (Aug. 2nd)

Morphing Our Bodies Into Superhero Poses (Jun 4th)

Becoming a Master of Mime (Feb. 11th)

This is the Most Dangerous Children’s Toy Ever Made (Jul. 23rd)

A Serious Conversation Under the Stars (Jul. 29th)

Is Mark a Masochist? (May 1st)

Literally Laying On Literal Broken Glass (Feb. 8th)

Bad, Bad Beans (Jan. 23rd)

DIY Wine (May 30th)

2 Men 200 Accents (Apr. 18th)

DIY Boob (May 24th)

Mark and Ethan Go On a Drum Date (Feb. 27th)

10 Miracle Products to Give YOU the Thiccest Jaw On Planet Earth (Jun. 29th)

Ultimate Horseshoes (Jul. 28th)

Mark and Ethan Get a Full Body Scan to See What Secrets Lay Hidden Within (and learn their body fat) (Mar. 13th)

Acupuncture is NOT Painful (Dec. 11th)

What the Hell is a Pink Trombone? (May 2nd)

Donating Toys to Charity w/ Jacksepticeye (Dec. 22nd)

Poopsie Sparkly Critters (a slime surprise…) (Nov. 27th)

The Great Meat Mistake (Dec. 10th)

DIY Minesweeper (Oct. 7th)

Popping Popcorn with a High Powered Laser (Aug. 12th)

Bobbing for Apples but the Water Keeps Getting Thiccer (Oct. 3rd)

We Buy a Professional Hypnosis Video and React to It (Dec. 5th)

Long Hair, Do We Dare? (Feb. 25th)

Recreating Mark’s Childhood (Jul. 2nd)

Professional Fire Cupping (Going Even Further Beyond) (Feb. 4th)

An Extremely Sour, Not-at-All Sour Meal (Feb. 5th)

Purging Our Sins with a Neti Pot (Nov. 16th)

Attempting to Build IKEA Furniture Without Instructions (Jun 9th)

The Annual Unus Annus Dunk Contest (Jul. 27th)

Our Fans Try to Scare Us With Their Homemade Creepypasta (Jun 12th)

There’s Something Horribly Wrong With This Picture… (June 8th)

Too Many Pickles (Aug. 21st)

5 Products to Grow Your Patchy Beard (Jul. 31st)

What is the Least Viewed Video on YouTube? (Apr. 10th)

Baby Hands Operation (Nov. 24th)

Mark Builds a Pillow Fort for the Very First Time (Apr. 2nd)

Are Reptilian Humanoids Living Among Us? (May 6th)

Mark and Ethan Bet Everything on a Wikipedia Race (Apr. 15th)

We Will Churn Thy Butter (Sep. 25th)

We Take a Lie Detector Test to Uncover Our Darkest Sins (Jan. 12th)

Drawing on Each Other’s Backs in Total Darkness (Oct. 9th)

Drawing Memes from Memory (Nov. 30th)

We Made Every YouTuber Battle in the Hunger Games (Apr. 5th)

Ultimate YouTuber Boxing Showdown (Mar. 30th)

Tasting Weird Food Combos: Pickles and Chocolate? Ice Cream and Soy Sauce? (Jul 10th)

How to NOT be the Perfect Boyfriend (Apr. 13th)

Help Us Break a YouTube World Record (Apr. 17th)

Momiplier Tells Us True Scary Stories from Korea (Oct. 18th)

DO NOT TRY THIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES (Aug. 9th)

The Most Dangerous Shave (Jun 23rd)

We Took the Polar Plunge (Jan. 1st)

2 Complete Amateurs Enter a Body Building Competition (Jun 1st)

Does This Magnetic Skincare Routine Really Work? (Jul. 19th)

Mark and Ethan Milk a Goat (Oct. 5th)

Pumpkin Spice “Challenge” (Oct. 19th)

Doing Each Other’s Makeup in the Dark (Nov. 23rd)

We’re Better Than Dogs (Aug. 18th)

We Have the Best Bellies on YouTube (May 25th)

The Good Kind of Cupping  (Nov. 19th)

Hacking the Very Fabric of the Universe (Jan. 30th)

Where in the World is Unus Annus? (Apr. 1st)

Mark and Ethan Become United States Citizens (Jun 10th)

Mark and Ethan Desperately Attempt to Feel Something (May 4th)

We Took an IQ Test (Jan. 9th)

Mark Teaches Ethan Korean (May 13th)

Lost Omegle Video (Mar. 31st)

Finding the Most Cursed Image on the Internet (Jun 15th)

Amazon Shopping for the Apocalypse (Mar. 28th)

Desperately Trying Not to Touch Our Faces (Mar. 24th)

Going on an Internet Scavenger Hunt (Mar. 26th)

Reading YOUR Scariest True Stories (Apr. 21st)

The Scariest True Stories on the Internet (Apr. 12th)

REAL Ghost Hunting At An Abandoned Zoo (March 2nd)

Bleachus Annus (Jul. 14th)

Pumpkin Taste Tier List (Oct. 14th)

Floating in a Real Sensory Deprivation Tank (Dec. 12th)

Was 2020 a Bad Year for Unus Annus? (Aug. 30th)

Speed Reading 1000+ WPM to Gain a Complete Understanding of All Human Knowledge (Apr. 9th)

We Give Each Other Tattoos Blindfolded (Mar. 11th)

Mark’s 1 Weird Talent Leaves Ethan Absolutely Speechless (Apr. 3rd)

Learning to Jump Higher in 16 Minutes and 16 Seconds (Oct. 15th)

You Breathe You Die (Jan.16th)

Breaking Glasses With Our Screams (Aug. 4th)

The 1000 High-Five Challenge (Oct. 2nd)

Becoming the World’s Greatest DJs (Mar. 4th)

Grip Strength Test: Loser Becomes the Winner’s Butler for a Day (Aug. 14th)

Forcibly Turning Mark into Santa Claus Against His Will (Dec. 25th)

We Smell Every Smell (Sep. 1st)

We Wrote a Hit Pop Song in 30 Minutes (Feb. 26th)

Unus Annus Carves the Roast Beast (Mar. 18th)

The Painful World of Aerial Skills (Oct. 12th)

The Koala Challenge: TikTok’s Intimate Couples Trend (Aug. 19th)

Ethan Traps Mark’s Soul in the Palm of His Hand (Jun 24th)

Will We Break the Boards...Or Will They Break Us? (Jun 14th)

DIY Chiropractor (Mar. 7th)

Mark Gives Ethan a HOT (stone) Massage (Aug. 31st)

We Bought a Camera That Can Look Inside Us (Mar. 3rd)

Can Plants Feel Pain? (Sep. 9th)

This is Hiding on Your Body RIGHT NOW. (Jul 9th)

Strange (and legal) Things You Can Do With Your Body After Death (Jan. 28th)

Like It Or Not...This is What The New Human Looks Like (May 7th)

Looking at Long Lost Memes (Jan. 31st)

We Played Mad Libs and Ran It Through Google Translate (Apr. 7th)

Running Internet Drama Through Google Translate (Apr. 24th)

Mark and Ethan Desperately Try to Name a Single State in the USA (Apr. 8th)

Professional Fetish Scientists Rank the Best/Worst Fetishes of 2020 (May 3rd)

Reddit 50/50: Two Player Edition (Mar. 25th)

Mark and Ethan Find the Lost City of El Dorado (Apr. 14th)

Using Google Maps to Find the Lost City of Atlantis (Apr. 20th)

We Hired a Real Hypnotherapist to Analyze Our Darkest Dreams (Jan. 24th)

2 Boys 2 Poops (Sep. 3rd)

This is How We’ll Die... (Jan. 19th)

Nutball Extreme: Taser Edition (Mar. 1st)

You Made Beautiful Music for The Barrel...But Only One Could Win (Dec. 15th)

Can Sound Therapy Heal All Wounds? (Jul. 22nd)

Middle School Science Experiment Teaches Us About Life and Death (Mar. 6th)

Reverse Engineering a Kite to Steal the Idea of Electricity from Benjamin Franklin (Jul 5th)

Ethan’s Relaxing and Totally Normal Nail Salon (Dec. 19th)

Mark and Ethan Take a Personality Test (Apr. 22nd)

An AI Generates Our Worst Nightmare (May 5th)

Learning to Cry on Command to Increase Our YouTube Views (Jun 16th)

How Big Can a Nuke Get? (May 17th)

Granting Access Into Heaven’s Sweet Gates (Feb. 24th)

We Put an Apple Watch in a Rock Tumbler (Jul. 3rd)

Whom Would Eat Whomst First in a Zombie Apocalypse? (Mar. 29th)

Bigfoot is Real and It Ate My Friend (May 14th)

What is the Most Painful Thing We’ve Ever Endured? (Dec. 21st)

Don’t Go In The Ocean....Ever. (Apr. 28th)

An AI Predicts How We’re Going to Die (Dec. 2nd)

Harnessing Our Yodeling Power to End The World As We Know It (May 21st)

The Creepiest Videos on YouTube (Apr. 16th)

What Does Astrology Say About Our Friendship? (Mar. 12th)

Discovering the Secret to Eternal Life (Feb. 1st)

What Happens When a YouTube Channel Dies? (Jan. 22nd)

5 Weird Apps That Predicted Our Death (Mar. 19th)

Emotional Pain vs. Physical Pain...Which is Worse? (Dec. 28th)

How Tall Can a Human Get?: An Impartial Review By 2 Average Height Men (May 12th)

Will AI Soon Take Over Humanity As We Know It? (Apr. 23rd)

Mark and Ethan Hunt the World’s Most Wanted Criminals (Mar. 17th)

The Illuminati...Do They Really Exist? (Apr. 19th)

We Explore the Most MYSTERIOUS Mysteries of Our Wildly Mysterious Mystery Moon of Mystery (Apr. 29th)

Two Male Men Judge Female Women On Their Beauty (Apr. 26th)

We Have the BEST Thumbnails on YouTube and No One Can Tell Us Otherwise (Jan. 5th)

How Much Caffeine Does It Take to Kill a Man? (May 18th)

There’s Still Hope… (Dec. 8th)

Unus Annus ASMR (May 9th)

The Worst Kind of Cupping (Nov. 21st)

[recentanimenews]

OPINION: How Umineko Changed My Entire Approach to Fictional Media

All screenshots captured on Playstation 3 by author

  The following article contains a discussion of thematic elements and motives that appear during the second half of Umineko When They Cry. While no actual plot details will be revealed, some might still consider it spoilery. So if you want to experience one of the greatest pieces of fiction ever completely untainted, you should check it out on Steam right now.

  The internet is pretty rad, isn't it? You can follow your favorite creators, watch tons of awesome shows, and talk about your favorite things with other people. How about we do that right now? Well, too bad, because YOUR FAVORITE THING IS BAD, ACTUALLY! You made the mistake of posting about it online, so prepare to be sent lots of negative comments linking to 5-hour video essays pointing out every single flaw about your favorite story and why you are wrong for enjoying it!

    It's a situation I'm sure many of us have experienced at least a couple of times online. While the internet can be fantastic for finding like-minded people to chat with about things you deeply love, it can also be a gamble and sometimes you end up in a discussion where your conversational partner seems more interested in showing off their intellectual superiority over a work instead of openly discussing its merits or flaws. I certainly know — I used to be one of them.

  "As I've eaten my way through countless tales to escape boredom, I haven't really been eating them. I've just been killing them." - Hachijo Tohya

  The rise of social media has opened the gates for some incredible in-depth discussion and has changed the way I experience things over the years. But there is also a dark side to the discussions on the internet and that is the trap of wanting to feel intelligent in how you approach stories, which is often accompanied by not really being emotionally earnest. I myself tried to come off as perceptive by pointing out so many mistakes and bad things about media which led to exactly one thing: me becoming absolutely miserable. All I cared about was consuming as many things as possible (FOMO's also one of the many downsides of social media) and appearing as "smart" about them as I could. Until one fateful 10-month stretch in which I played a certain visual novel known as Umineko When They Cry.

    Umineko really is tailor-made for catching people with that mindset: It depicts a mystery story about how mystery stories are told and consumed — and what genre would be more fitting to challenge someone concerned with intellectual superiority than one that is all about the clash of Author vs Reader? 

  "Books aren't a competition. It's not about who's read the most. But boasting that you've read all your ever need to read is just as wrong-headed" - Battler Ushiromiya

  Umineko starts off with a well-known mystery trope: A family meets up in a mansion on a distant island, gets cut off by a storm, and then slowly gets murdered one after the other until everyone is dead. And just as in Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None (which served as one of Umineko's main inspirations), a bottle detailing the events of the incident to the public eventually washes ashore. But this only serves as Umineko's prologue, as its main character Battler quickly finds himself facing off against a self-proclaimed Golden Witch known as Beatrice on a meta-narrative level where he must prove these gruesome killings could have been committed by a human culprit, or be forced to acknowledge her existence and allow her to fully revive.

    Thus begins a game of chess filled with exceedingly preposterous murders in which our protagonist's family gets killed by demons, giant goat butlers, and sharpshooting bunny girls — all supplemented by the so-called Red Truth, a truth-revealing tell not unlike Martha's vomiting in Knives Out. Battler must use these authorial proclamations and find a loophole that enables him to explain the murders in a way that does not frame any of his beloved family members as the killer and still allows him to deny the existence of the gruesome and torturous witch.

    Umineko's all about how stories are perceived and told by both their creator and their audience. It explores how remarks by the author in every situation — no matter how off-hand they might be — can be used, applied, and twisted to shed a completely different light on a story regardless of its original intent. It shows how adding meaning to a narrative that wasn't meant to be there can both add to or subtract from its most important element: The heart its creator wanted to convey.

  "If I had found meaning in only exposing the truth, I would have sunk to the level of a truth-revealing witch and fallen into ruin, spreading only hatred, [...], crushing and refusing to acknowledge anything but the particular truth I seek, unable to escape the cycle of misery." - Ange Ushiromiya

  Umineko goes through many different angles of how we create, share, and discuss the tales that fuel our discourse. It ponders the importance of rules when creating storylines and tackles how easy it is to overlook major themes and motives by just focussing on minute details that are open to misinterpretation and irrelevant to a story's soul. It even includes the typical misanthropic yet oh so intelligent detective that usually gets idolized in most media (think BBC's Sherlock or House, M.D.) and puts them at odds with every other character because who would really want to cooperate with someone that completely disregards you as an equal human being and merely perceives you as an amalgation of hints, motives and alibis?

  "Sheesh! Just one more step and I'd have been able to take a heart as innocent as the smooth sand just after a wave had pulled back and tear it to bits. What a shame. This isn't fun anymore." - Erika Furudo

  And just when you start to really get into Umineko, it moves away from its main conflict, providing you important hints for its solution which most readers ignore as they aren't presented with facts and logic but on an emotional level distanced from the characters we long to get back to. But most importantly, it conveys how one single element is so indispensable to enjoying the narrative odysseys we embark on in our lives, to cherishing the characters that are presented to us in these tales, and to truly understand a story's message behind things like story developments, plot twists, and narrative tricks. I, of course, am talking about love.

  Be it the love you feel for characters, for certain staging elements, phrasings of prose, orchestrations of music, design of sound effects, implementations of themes and motives, or cinematographic puzzle pieces — the one thing that is indispensable to truly enjoy all kinds of media, is love. Or, to quote Umineko directly, "Without love, it cannot be seen."

    By the time, I was nearing the end of Umineko's eight main chapters, it had transformed from an intellectual battle between author and reader to an all-out war of a story against its community of readers who simply wanted to tear it down to cold, hard "facts." I had spent ten months and over 100 hours. The first half took eight of those months to get through (owing to a few lengths in Episodes 2 and 4), I finished the second half in less than two despite my busy schedule. I even dedicated a whole 15-hour marathon to the final episode as I was too glued to the grand finale to move away from it.

    A new me came out the end. I no longer had an interest in tearing apart media for minor missteps. I enjoyed them much more deeply and honestly and began taking my time with the things I consumed. Instead of filling my plate at the buffet of stories as much as I could, I gave each dish its own course on the menu so I could appreciate its flavor in a different way — one bite at a time and not stuffed up simply to give the outward appearance of a seasoned gourmet. And for that, I will never be able to thank Ryukishi07 and his co-creators at 07thExpansion enough.

  "The point of theory-making is not to create a culprit or to trample the truths that lie in the hearts of those who have not sinned. If you want to play detective, don't neglect the heart. Otherwise, we're just intellectual rapists. Don't forget it!!" - Willard H. Wright

  If you are interested in reading Umineko When They Cry, you can find both its Question Arcs and its Answer Arcs on Steam, GOG, and MangaGamer. You can also read the manga adaptation digitally on Bookwalker (though I personally recommend the visual novel for its award-worthy soundtrack alone).

  What work of fiction has touched your life in a profound way? Tell us in the comments!

      René Kayser works for Crunchyroll as a PR and Social Media Manager in Germany. You can find him on Twitter @kayserlein where he tries to get people into Umineko every single day.

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[kalluun-patangaroa]

rules – answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people who you want to get to know better

@giant-gloria​<3 tagged me in this, so here we go...

 nickname(s): Never really had any

zodiac sign: Sagittarius

height: 164

last movie I saw: Nothing worth mentioning, but I’m primarily into non-English-language cinema - European, Latin American, Asian... Rarely watch Hollywood blockbusters

last thing I googled: Things to see and do in Zagreb and on the Croatian coast! I’m flying over to Zagreb in 7.5 weeks time to see - yessssss - Suede at InMusic Festival and decided to stay the total of 16 days in Croatia to combine the festival with some lazy holidays at the seaside

favourite musician: Male - Brett Anderson / Suede, female - Shirley Manson / Garbage (sharing the 2 with giant-gloria, ha! :)). And I’ll see these 2 sex demons - same day, same place - on June 25 in Zagreb. Amazing. Overall I think the 80s/90s was the best time in pop/rock music ever and I’m a fan of umpteen other bands from that time, some of which I’m gonna mention in the ‘fave songs’ section below

song stuck in my head: Right now Mil Caminos by Lucybell (a great song by a cool Chilean band), ‘cause I’ve just listened to one of their CDs

other blogs: Only this one, but even this one wasn’t originally intended as an active blog when I started it some 4 months ago, rather as storage space for scanned vintage press articles about Suede. Right at the bottom of my archive, the first 100 or so posts are almost exclusively reblogs of scanned press materials, but gradually, and a bit surprisingly to myself, this has evolved into a fully-fledged Suede blog of sorts. I've become kind of addicted to it and it consumes quite a lot of my time now, but it's really good fun, so what the heck :)

following: 64 (at least half of which are seemingly abandoned blogs with great Suede archives)

followers: 98

do I get asks: This tag game is my world debut in this role! ;)

amount of sleep: Always too little, like 4-6h per night, rarely more than that. I’m a night owl

lucky number: Got no lucky numbers as such, but I take 9 if I am to choose any

what I’m wearing: Jeans + t-shirt (how original)

dream job: Wouldn’t mind being paid for farting around, I’m quite good at it

dream trip: My childhood dream was to go to Argentina+Chile<3 and since I made it come true some years ago now I’m happy to go anytime anywhere I haven’t been to yet. I’m an avid traveller, always eager to set off on another journey

favourite food: Indian food, natural artisanal ice creams, chirimoya fruit

instruments played: Piano - went through a 6-year classical training as a child, but haven’t played it for years now

languages: Polish, English, some Spanish, some Russian, plus a handful of words/phrases in a handful of various European languages

favourite songs: Pulp - Common People, The Jesus and Mary Chain - Head On, The Manics - Ocean Spray, Radiohead - Fake Plastic Trees, Elastica - Never Here, Garbage - #1 Crush, Peter Murphy - Cuts You Up, Talk Talk - Such A Shame, The Damned - Eloise, Happy Mondays - Step On, The Smiths - How Soon Is Now, The Verve - Lucky Man, Simple Minds - Alive and Kicking, Echo and the Bunnymen - Lips Like Sugar, The Cure - A Forest, Placebo - Slave To The Wage... This list is endless. But no Suede songs here - they’re in a league of their own

random fact: I’m inherently unable to answer questions in a concise and to the point way, I always need to ramble on. Proof: see above and below

aesthetic: Classic punk/goth/darkwave (yeah!), Art Nouveau (architecture + applied arts), varied natural landscapes (secluded sea coves, desert dunes, lush forests, rocky outcrops, gently rolling hills and suchlike), sunny and lazy summer afternoon and me sitting in an outdoor cafe in the Old Town of a random European city, sipping coffee and watching the world go by

 Well, I normally hate various questionnaires, finding them dull, tedious and homework-like, but this tag game was fun to do, so thank you @giant-gloria for tagging me in this.

I could already read here the answers of @llllusion<3 and @funeral-wave so I’m not asking the 2 of you, but I’d also like to read the answers of @tiesandtea, @lighten-up-squirt, @arcticsheen, @letsgotobread, @bluefestivalkitten and whoever else follows me / fancy answering this

[goldendream-s]

decisions (pt. 2)

summary; shawn and you see each other after weeks and months of missed phone calls and unanswered texts, but when they finally find a time to talk, hearts only continue to get broken.

PART ONE || PART THREE

MASTERLIST || REQUEST

It had felt like a stab in the back, but you couldn’t seem to pull the knife out. Shawn had chosen his girlfriend over you, and you couldn’t deny the obvious: you felt betrayed. You so badly wanted all of this to be a nightmare and to run into the arms of your bestfriend, but you knew that was no longer an option. 

The past three days have had you consumed with trying to get a hold of Shawn, begging for him to hear you out. Your heart told you to leave him be and to hate Shawn, but you couldn’t even will a finger to do so. The six going on seven year friendship between you and Shawn was too valuable to give up without a fight, but it was hard fighting a battle single-handedly. You might’ve been mad at the moment, but as much as you hated to admit it, you couldn’t ever get yourself to fully hate Shawn.

Luckily for you, Ian, Geoff, and Matt had been over at your house trying to comfort you since the night that everything blew over. You were initially surprised how they sided with you knowing how close they were to Shawn, but you were grateful for their support nonetheless. They’d check up on you, bring you food, and gave you the company that your heart so badly needed. The three were like the older brothers you never had.

“Seriously, thank you guys so much for doing all of this,” you gestured to all of the snacks, drinks, and games they brought over to you face.

“Anytime,” Ian said while throwing an M&M at you.

Flinching, you were quick to toss one back. 

“You don’t have to thank us, bud. This is what friends are for,” Matt added.

The four of you were in your living room with you listening to the tour stories that your three friends had to share. You loved hearing of their adventures as it took your mind off of the situation in front of you.

“Holy crap, remember when we had like hundreds of fans swarming the tour bus?” Geoff recalled while asking Ian and Matt to confirm the fond memory.

“Who wouldn’t?” Ian laughed, “I can still hear all of those screams in my nightmares sometimes,” he joked as the four of you broke into a fit of laughter.

The conversation began shifting to the topic of Shawn’s band, and you knew what was coming up next.

“What if I told you that Charlie was flying out here to Toronto for a week and wanted to meet you?” Matt wiggled his eyebrows as you buried your face in the pillow sitting in your lap.

You regretted telling them about your mini celebrity crush on the popstar knowing the teasing was inevitable. 

“What if I told you that you guys were crazy and that I was just joking about you guys hooking me up with him,” you shot back. You weren’t a huge fan of Charlie, but you definitely loved the songs you heard on the radio from him.

“We might be crazy, but we aren’t kidding. He’s coming to town next week to do some interviews for his next album. Figured we’d do something to help you to get your mind off of things,” Geoff explained to you.

“Thank you guys, but I think I’m gonna have to pass. I don’t wanna embarrass myself and look stupid or anything,” You tried convincing them.

“If you ask me, you’re one of the coolest people I know,” Ian chuckled.

“C’mon, just do it. How often do you get to say that you got to hang out with Charlie Puth?” Geoff added.

“Okay, but what if I fangirl and creep him out, huh?”

“Please, you’ve been bestfriends with a world sensation for six years, if your fan girl antics haven’t freaked out Shawn, I doubt it will Charlie,” Matt said.

Ian quickly nudged Matt in the ribs knowing that the mention of Shawn made you slightly uncomfortable. You laughed at the gesture, but quickly brushed it off.

“Okay, let’s do it,” you smirked.

+

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” you asked timidly through your phone screen.

“Yes, baby, I’m positive. What has it been? Like two and a half months? I’m ready if you are,” he enthusiastically said through the other line. The facetime call did no justice when it came to showing how excited he looked.

As cliche as everything sounded and turned out, you still weren’t sure how you landed yourself in the position you were in right now. After Matt, Ian, and Geoff’s little stunt that they put together to set you and Charlie up, the two of you immediately hit it off. Of course, it wouldn’t be a date if you didn’t spend it trying to awkwardly break the ice and get to know each other, but you were glad when Charlie asked for your number and texted you about a second date three days later.

In that time, you had still been trying to get a hold of Shawn, which was no use. Don’t get it wrong, you were head over heels for Charlie and only Charlie, but your life felt empty with Shawn. You genuinely missed your bestfriend, but the feeling must’ve not been reciprocated. Half of you wanted to stay angry at Shawn but the other half wanted to run back into his arms. He might’ve done you wrong, but you wanted to think that it was all just some twisted nightmare.

“Charlie, you know I’m fine with people knowing that we’re dating, but are you sure that your album release party is the right place? The nights supposed to be about you and your music. We can always wait for another time,” you suggested.

“Darling, I’m very sure. I just want the world to know that I’m with the most gorgeous and amazing girl out there,” he chuckled.

You laughed at the name. Shawn used to always call you that.

“You’re all the way in L.A. and you still know how to make a girl blush, huh?” You half joke.

“Only for you, bub,” his laughed joined yours.

“Hey, I gotta go for an interview, but everything’s set okay? Everyone practically knows that we’re dating so it shouldn’t be much of a surprise. Bye, love. See you in 12 hours!”

You quickly said your goodbye, turning off your phone and crashing onto your bed. You still couldn’t fathom how an average girl from Toronto like you would catch someone like Charlie’s eyes, but you were grateful nonetheless. He treated you like a princess and lifted some of the sadness and betrayal that you had felt for past few months. Now here you were, about to fly out to Los Angeles to celebrate your boyfriend’s album drop.

Without a doubt, you knew Shawn would be there, but you were learning not to care. If he didn’t want anything to do with you, you figured it was about time for you to do the same.

+

“You must be Charlie’s girl! He has told me so many good things about you!” The man that looked a year or two older than Charlie said to you.

You couldn’t help but blush, especially since Charlie’s hands were around your waist, gripping you tightly to his side. The past thirty minutes have consisted of meeting his friends as a mix of his new songs and other chart toppers blasted through his condo. It was a little smaller compared to the release parties that Shawn has had for his two albums, but the low-key atmosphere eased your nerves.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you!” you greeted back, sticking your hand out but quickly receiving a hug from the guy instead.

“Hey Charlie, ‘grats on the album, man!” Another person called from the opposite side of the room.

Both of your heads turned to the call, and your boyfriend turned back to give you a knowing look, asking to go greet what must’ve been a friend.

“Babe, it’s your party. I’ll be fine on my own for a lil’ bit,” you promised while eyeing the mini bar.

“Okay… you know where to find me if you need me,” Charlie gave you a side hug before heading over to the growing group of people.

As soon as he went, you stopped to take in your surroundings – something you haven’t been able to do since arriving. The wall to your left was lined with vinyl records while the ceilings were adorned with streamers. His condo was as simple as they came, but you liked the cozy vibe it gave off.

In the middle of your little look-around, your head immediately stopped and you almost had to do a double take to make sure you weren’t hallucinating.

You’d recognize that head of soft brown curls anywhere. From the guitar tattoo to the awkward stance, you knew you weren’t seeing wrong.

Turning around it hopes that he didn’t notice your stare, you were too late. You felt footsteps near you and another warm body approach yours. Your efforts of heading to the mini bar failed as a hand clutching a shoulder stopped any further movement.

Suddenly, all of the pain, hurt, and betrayal you had pent up these past months turned into icy bitterness. Your fists clenched and your veins seemed to be pumping your blood at an incredible speed.

Taking a deep breath, you whipped your head around to be faced with none other than Shawn.

“What do you want?” you impatiently tapped your foot, hoping that Charlie would come to the rescue and save you from exploding in front of your ex-bestfriend at this party.

“Please don’t be like this. I just need to talk to you. I swear if you just give me five minutes I can explain everything to you,” he begged.

It didn’t take you time to give in. You might’ve been mad, but you wanted answers. You wanted to know why you were the second choice.

“Fine, follow me,” you didn’t turn back as you tested your memory. You’ve only been in this condo one other time, but you knew the only way the two of you could have a productive conversation would be in the quiet confines of the guest room.

Finding the room, you opened the door gesturing for Shawn to enter before closing it again.

“You have five minutes, Mendes.”

“Look, I don’t know where else to start but to say sorry,” Shawn started, “so, so, fucking sorry. I chose a girl over my bestfriend and I-I don’t know why I’d do that,” his gaze moved everywhere around the room until they met your furious eyes. 

Your intense glare almost softened for a moment until you snapped back into the reality of the situation. You could only nod your head, not satisfied with his half apology. Shawn’s anxious pacing told you he had more to say.

“I broke up with her a week after it all happened, I can’t believe I stayed with her for that long. I should’ve known that when she made me choose between the two of you that she was with me for all of the wrong reasons. Fuck, I should’ve known the moment she started talking shit about all my friends,” Shawn crashed his face into his palms.

Walking over to the window watching the busy cityscape outside, you finally opened your mouth to speak.

“So what about all of the times I tried to call you? All of the times my texts went unanswered and calls got sent straight to voicemail, huh?” You said as you thought of the hundreds of times you tried to reach Shawn before you eventually gave up on the nearly impossible task.

“Rylen blocked your number from my phone. I didn’t know you were trying to get a hold of me until Geoff and Matt told me,” He explained.

The sound of Shawn’s ex-girlfriend alone sent shivers up your back, but you stood your ground.

“Things will never be the same as they were before that, and you know that, right?” You asked all while trying to hold in your building anger.

“Of course I know it’s not! You don’t have to rub in how stupid I was for ruining our friendship. Please, let me have at least one chance to fix this. I can’t lose you,” He begged without skipping a beat.

The uneasiness of this confrontation was beginning to weigh down on your shoulders, pushing to you to go straight to the questions you’ve been wanting answers for.

“Why though, Shawn? What’d I do to be the second decision? The back-up plan?” you bitterly questioned.

“Hey, what? No! You know you’re anything but a bac-”

“Cut the bullshit, Shawn. Just tell me what I did to deserve being ditched and cut off by who I thought was my bestfriend. You left me in the dust for that girl, I’m pretty sure I’m the back-up person” Your harsh words that you were spitting startled yourself as much as it did Shawn, but you couldn’t bring yourself to regret your tone.

“Do you really wanna know?” Shawn huffed. You weren’t facing him, but you could feel the aggravation beginning to lace in his usually chirpy and bright voice.

“Well that’s why we’re here, right?”

You were so close to getting your answer, but the door swung wide open before either of you had another second to speak.

“Babe, there you are! Andrew wanted to mee- oh, uhh… I’ll let the two of you talk,” you were greeted by your searching boyfriend.

You quickly ran to the door to assure Charlie that you could handle it all by yourself, but from the already heated conversation that was lingering in the air, Charlie seemed to understand what was happening.

“Oh my go-. Shawn’s the asshole that you were talking about? He’s the one that left you for his girlfriend?” Charlie frantically realized as his fist and jaw were beginning to clench.

Surprised by how he figured out so quickly, you were quick to hush him, crossing your fingers that Shawn hadn’t heard that. “Babe, I got it. Don’t worry about it.” 

He nodded his head before telling you where to find him if you needed any help, closing the room’s door to leave.

You silently thanked the heavens for having a boyfriend as understanding as Charlie because you knew how wrong the scene looked. You and Shawn alone in a dimly lit room together, who wouldn’t have mistaken it to be something else? You shot a smile to Charlie before he closed the door, resuming the dreaded conversation between you and Shawn.

“An asshole that left my bestfriend, huh?” your head turned back to Shawn, who’d obviously heard Charlie’s words.

You were about to object, but Shawn cut you cut.

“Holy shit, I should’ve known,” you heard Shawn murmur under his breath again. Your eyebrows perked up, unaware of what Shawn was getting at.

“You’re dating him, aren’t you?” he quickly searched for your eyes before turning his back away from you.

You reached for Shawn’s shoulder to turn him around, but it looked like he had other plans. As he made his way to the door, you knew exactly what he was trying to do.

“Shawn, where are you going? I thought we were gonna talk this out?” you frantically questioned.

“I-I’m sorry, I have to go,” Shawn replied without even looking back once again. Before you had any time to react to his sudden flea, Shawn was already making his way through the door. You called for his name, but you knew he wasn’t going to turn back. Now here you were again, alone and full of questions.

If there was one thing that Shawn was good at, it was leaving you.

+

Shawn didn’t want to admit it, but he knew that he was slowly losing you like sand slipping through his fingers. Yet despite all of his regret, Shawn knew that he had messed up big time, and he was getting what he deserved. The feeling in the pit of his stomach only got worsened by the fact that Shawn knew he hadn’t made any efforts to talk to you besides making a few phone calls that you never answered. After the night of Charlie’s party, he knew he’d probably ruin any shot of getting your forgiveness.

It seemed like the seconds turned into hours as hours turned into days without seeing you. Shawn was finally getting time off from tour, but he was instead spending his break wondering how to get you to forgive him.

He lost his bestfriend because he chose some girl over you, and he didn’t know how to fix his mistakes. Shawn didn’t know how to explain it any other way but to say that he lost his other half. You had always been there for him, and he had let you down.

Everything surrounding him reminded you of him. From the pool in his backyard that the two of you would always swim in during the summers to the sheets on the bed that you helped him pick, he couldn’t escape your presence. Music, which would always be Shawn’s way of escaping his troubles was something he had to avoid, too. His favorite guitar hanging from his wall along with six other acoustics was gifted from you on his 17th birthday, and he would be lying if most of his songs were secretly about you.

No matter how much he didn’t want to acknowledge it, you would always find a way to creep back into his thoughts and actions. The butterflies in his stomach when a friend would ask about you and the way his heart would beat faster by the simple mention of your name drove him crazy. He missed your touch, he missed the friendship the two of you shared, and he missed having you be one call away.

“Come in,” Shawn tried to shout through his door as a knock sounded through his room.

“When are you gonna get out of your room? We haven’t had your bestie come over in a while so can we ask her to come over for dinner? I miss her,” Aaliyah asked while walking closer to his bed, finally seeing Shawn in the state he was in.

“That makes the two of us,” he barely whispered under his breath, burying his head into his plush pillows.

“Holy crap, what happened?” Aaliyah hurried to pull Shawn into a hug as he finally let go of the tears he’s been trying to hold in since you walked through the door the other night.

“I-I messed up,” Shawn shakily answered, trying to stead his breathing. 

Shawn wasn’t one to cry so easily, but he couldn’t stop the constant wave of tears streaming down his face. He didn’t even try to hide is regret and cries from his younger sister who was trying to piece together everything that was unraveling before her eyes.

“What do you mean?” Aaliyah tried her best to stay calm for the sake of her brother, but the underlying feeling in her bones and stomach told her you wouldn’t be coming over anytime soon. 

“I-I think I love her,” Shawn mustered to say through his emotional state.

Aaliyah was now beyond confused. Why would he be crying over the fact that he loved someone? She knew Shawn had gotten a girlfriend recently, but it wasn’t something she worried too much about.

“Isn’t that a good thing? Her name was Rylen, right?” 

Aaliyah tried moving the conversation along, “Shawn, I know as little about love as you do, but aren’t you supposed to be happy? I mean, I dunno, but those don’t look like tears of joy to me,” she tried her best to make her older brother smile, but it was no use.

In fact, instead of bringing bringing a smile to Shawn’s face, her comments only seemed to make his sobs louder and stronger.

“N-No, I think I love my bestfriend.”

[krs724490]

4/15/21

I’ve been read Dr. Joe Despenza’s becoming supernatural. and he is talking about making mind movies. which i might do! Right now, however, I will write them out in a detailed fashion to help me envision my future. He also suggest making several for the different areas in your life. I agree that this would be super helpful! I want to make one for my career, my home/environment i exist in, my love life, and my health journey. I will start with my love life because it’s the one that so easily consumes my thoughts so i want to knock it out first. so it doesn’t distract me as a i move through the others. I may come back and add detail later. or rather i should. well we’ll see how this practice goes.... 

1. LOVE

I deeply sighed before writing this because I’m not so sure. If that makes any sense. Like I’m unsure of what I want my love life to look like because I don’t fully trust myself with love. Which sucks. I’ve just gone down too many rabbit holes and its funny because in my head I always say “waste my fuckin time” in that funny voice. but what it really is is me wasting my OWN fucking time because I don’t feel like I have the self control to stop myself from being with men or from discerning which ones are worth my time. I think back to Collin Thiex from less than a year ago and I laugh. Same with Cooper Johnson. Two boys that were so clearly wrong for me and yet at some point I was swept up in them. Maybe it’s because I have met Chase and Tyler and they’ve raised my standards for men. They make me believe that better men, men more meant for me are out there because I’m done wasting my energy. The saddest part is that I keep thinking.. what if I’m wrong about Tyler? What if its just another one of those honeymoon illusions where I think the guy is great in the beginning and then he ends up “waste my fuckin time?” I dont know. I don’t know if I believe in marriage. I’ve just seen too much divorce. Too much shift in people’s lives and maybe I’m too selfish to work with someone like that. You need to value the relationship SO much to prioritize it and make it work. I want to think that I could end up married to someone who challenges me in the best ways. Who encourages me to be my best self and helps me do so. I run a pretty tight ship. I like to be on my routine. On my game. I don’t like to drink or smoke or do anything that feels unproductive. I think Tyler drinks more than I do. Or I know he does. I dont think I want that to be a big part of my life. I do fitness. I dont have room for a hangover. There is just no space for it. Tyler is so amazing in so many ways but I’m just NOT SURE. and i know i dont have to be. but it sucks not to be because your brain is constantly searching for answers. its like im getting closer and closer to that person. and i love chase. chase is me. chase and i are the same. and like FUCK because he’s just so out there. I feel like my husband is an aubrey marcus type. idk. maybe it is tyler?! i know he cares about being healthy. i just OIJAOSIJDOADJIASOPJD. im so young. when i envision my love life in the future. i see white. i see nothing. i have no expectation. which is good. i think for love thats all i need. wow it took me all of this goo to come to this conclusion. my love life is a blank slate. i dont have any ideals here. Other than our interactions building me up to have more energy rather than sucking my energy away. i dont know about marriage. i dont know about a relationship. i just take that shit day by day because to have this fairytale planned out is just unrealistic. I meet so many men. I love men. I love them. I just dont know if one really fits into my life. like SUPER well. this is just me treading lightly because of what ive been through. i need to accept that this one doesn’t have an answer and move on lol.

2. CAREER/MONEY

All I want is a job that can sustain me without too many frills. I want one that can sustain my basic habits. My grocery bill, car insurance, random nights out with friends. Where I can save up for a flight home. I want to know all aspects of my finance. I want to have it as nailed down as the meal plan I’m going to have. I want to track where everything is going. I want to have it on lock so that when I do go astray I know I have the space for it. Let’s say I spend $2000/month. I want to save for retirement, save for plane tickets to visit ppl, save for trips. I want to look closely at everything I’m doing. So I want a career in fitness that can sustain that. I acknowledge that right now I’m at the bottom of my industry working to gain more experience and that I will move up. Right now is a grind, but I will never stop looking for ways to move up. I will make it. I will make it in 2021 to a high position. I will be running something. I will consolidate. I will begin to HONE IN. To get more specific. I envision myself walking into VASA. I really do. VASA in Willow Creek. I envision the group classes being more popular than ever. I envision everyone in a myzone. I envision helping new instructors. I envision ALL OF IT. I know I would be great at this job. I know that THIS IS THE JOB. I know it. I know it. The energy I’ve already produced there. It’s been incredible and its where i want to grow my career. I know I’m the best person for the job. I’m no longer wish washy. I know I am. I feel ready to take it on. I feel ready at this point in my life. I’m just READY. I want to pull into that parking lot and look at that building and think this is my home. I care about this place. Despite any criticism anyone else has... this is my place. I am determined to make it a success. Chris wont know what hit him. and I think he’s super sweet. He is someone I would want to learn under. This next interview with Lori will be the best interview I’ve ever had because it is something I love and care about so deeply. They will. have no choice but to give me this job.

3. HEALTH/WELLNESS

I am on my way hunny!!!!! This is finally exciting for me to write about haha. I really want to shoutout Chase here. This nutrition plan is giving me LIFE. I can already see myself running those full marathons. LIFTING WEIGHTS. Teaching cycle and yoga and all of the things and absolutely thriving. Following an exact nutrition plan that I have nailed down to the point where I can seasonally switch things out?! ?!!?!? what?! Taking the supplements. Becoming more specific with my goals and absolutely crushing the fitness game. This week has been busy but I’ve been handling it so well because ive been sleeping and eating right! It’s like my classes aren’t overwhelming and I’ve even been working out on my own??? I’ve done some long runs. I’m proud of myself. I know I’m goin places and I’m slowly leaving Mara at the door more and more.

4. HOME

Always CO. I think the only thing I would consider like I’ve always talked about is moving closer to the mountains but nature is such a priority for me. The mountains truly hold a lot for me. They carry things I can’t carry. They hold them for me. I love their energy. I dont want to get too attached because like Ram Dass says if you’re doing your work New York City and a Himalayan cave feel the same. So I just want somewhere cozy to exist. Where I can keep my snacks and get my beauty rest. Somewhere to feel rooted. I feel like I’ve got my roots dug pretty deep here :)

[wanna-one-imagine]

Wanna One Kim Jaehwan College AU

For Anon! My ask box is open again :) Enjoy! (You + Kim Jaehwan)

It was your freshman year at college, and you were attending one relatively far from your family. You were slightly anxious about starting meeting people and professors from scratch, but you were looking forward to making new friends and learning regardless

You arrived on the college campus for orientation completely clueless, but hey that’s okay

When you first moved in, you did that thing where you be friendly to pretty much anyone, to try to find some friends/people to hang out with

Anyway

You were put in a four-year dorm, meaning that freshmen up to seniors were all in the same dorm: this made you somewhat anxious but you thought you’d be fine

The day before classes started, your dorm all met up together to do introductions and awkward icebreakers

It was the first time you were meeting any upperclassmen, but from the beginning one person stood out

This person, whose name you would later find out to be Kim Jaehwan, was undoubtedly the life of the party

He was constantly joking around and screaming “OKAY OKAY” every couple of minutes, but nobody was annoyed by him – in fact, the RAs in charge of the dorm seemed to be completely used to his antics

He even had this really strange sounding scream-laugh that escaped his mouth at times, but all it did was make other people start giggling along with him: he was contagious and you personally thought it was incredibly charming

Needless to say, he was, even if it was unintentional, incredibly well-liked by people older and younger than him

And this popularity made him seem... unapproachable, like he was on a pedestal, at least to you

Where in reality, he was probably... definitely willing to talk with anyone

From that first encounter with the group, you had developed an innocent crush on the guy

He was incredibly funny and likable not to mention really attractive

Anyway you didn’t share many classes with him, since he was 2 years ahead of you in school, a junior

And that was fine, you weren’t looking really to make a relationship out of this, you just thought he was a cute guy lol

But during all the dorm activities, you got so distracted because of him

There would be game nights and group dinners and movie marathons and you (and your friends, to your dismay) frequently caught you wistfully staring at him or laughing a little too hard at his jokes

You thought you were subtle about it, but if someone hung around you at the same time Jaehwan was in the room, it really wasn’t that hard to tell where you mind and heart were lol

Despite all this (and pressure from your friends), you never approached him, because like, how?

Well before the first semester ended, you actually happened to have one interaction with him

You usually didn’t attend any of the dorm parties, because you are extremely physically irritated by loud noises and music, and so far most of the parties had been the “turn up” type, not many of the chiller hangouts, so you pretty much stayed in your room doing quiet things with your friends like games or internet browsing

But at the end of the semester, there was this one winter holidays party that “everyone” attended, as your friends and dorm-mates told you, so you decided why not, to just check it out for a bit

You didn’t think you would be there for too long, so you didn’t dress up too much: you wore red sweatpants and a green shirt to embody the “holiday spirit”

When you got to the party, you realized why people said it was much more extravagant than the other ones

This one seemed to have a much larger budget, and there were beautiful decorations everywhere, with balloons and Christmas trees and pretty holiday lights

And to your pleasant surprise, the music wasn’t super loud or anything, in fact it was just the regular old holiday music lol

Everyone was dressed up way more than you were, but you felt comfortable, much more than you thought you would when you first heard about the idea

Trying new things isn’t so bad, (Y/N), you instructed yourself, content with the experience so far (even though you hadn’t talked to anyone yet lol)

You didn’t know how to dance to Christmas songs, so you headed to kitchen to grab some good food yuss

Surprisingly, the kitchen was completely empty when you entered: the perfect time to steal all foods ! ! ! !

Unable to hold back the evil smile that was starting to cover your face, you stacked snacks on your plate, growing happier and happier as your plate filled up to the edges

You were so glad you had come to the party LOL

Satisfied with your collection, you headed over to the drinks, where there was various bowls of questionable substances

What are these even… there wasn’t a label or anything

As you scratched your neck and bended down to smell the liquids, you didn’t notice another person entering the room

Yes you guessed it

It was the one and only Kim Jaehwan, and you failed to notice his eyes boring into the top of your head, as he stood on the opposite side of the food counter

Multiple things about this first meeting:

1. Jaehwan already knew who you were. lol. and he also knew about your crush. also lol. word spreads pretty quickly through the dorm, and you were unaware of that! congrats !

2. There are two people now in this room: you and him,,, and you have your nose hovering above a bowl of punch or something

GREAT FUCKN JOB (Y/N) TRULY INNOVATIVE

Anyway yes you were smelling the punch because you didn’t want to consume any sketchy alcohol at this party (you hadn’t drank before anyway, and you didn’t want the conditions of your first time to be mystery fluid)

“Is this alcoholic…” you mumbled to yourself, before your eyes flicked up to meet Jaehwan’s, making you gasp and stand up straight in surprise, almost tripping over your own feet, making Jaehwan laugh at your reaction

Nice one, real nice, (Y/N)…

He looked too good for words, his brown hair looking messy but perfect at the same time, in his own pair of sweats and a long t-shirt, with an adorable reindeer antler headband on his head

“I’m pretty sure the red one has alcohol, and the peach one just has some sodas, punch, and ice cream.”

They were the first words he had spoken to you, and you wished you were capable of acting completely normally but you were too much of a spAZ to do that

“Oh, okay, thank you, I-I’ll get the red one then,” you sputtered out

“You want the alcoholic one? Oh, I thought you were under the impression you didn’t, with the way you were sniffing those bowls, haha”

“Oh, no I meant the non alcoholic one, gah” you corrected, mentally kicking yourself for literally saying gah like out loud

“Nah you’re good, these parties are pretty confusing at first, I totally get it. I came for the food too,” Jaehwan said with his gorgeous laugh

“Oh, you did? Come for just the food, you mean?”

“I mean, look at me,” Jaehwan said, pointing to his outfit. “This is my sleep outfit, and I have fully planned to fall into a food coma today.”

You couldn’t stop your blush from rising to your cheeks in reaction to his joke, before you asked without thinking, “you sleep with those antlers on?”

Jaehwan seemed slightly caught off guard for a split second, before he smoothly responded, gasping and clutching his chest

“(Y/N), I am so offended, the antlers aren’t a costume, its a serious physical defect, I can’t believe you don’t have the sense to not talk about that to me,” he cried out

You couldn’t keep up the joke and started giggling, before you realized… did he just say my name? How does he know my name...

But guess what? Your thoughts had unknowingly slipped out of your mind, and he heard you ask him that, out loud, you only realizing you had done that when you looked up to see Jaehwan staring at him, his cheeks turning a shade of red that matched your pants

“Ah, of course I know the name of my fellow dorm-mate, we’ve been living in the same place for the past couple months,” he saved, looking less confident than you had ever seen him

Just then, another freshman from your dorm walked in, and with some confidence you had unknowingly conjured up, you challenged Jaehwan out of nowhere

“Okay, so what’s their name?” you asked, as Jaehwan coughed randomly into the air, claiming that your game was completely unfair to him

“I bet this person isn’t even from our dorm and just snuck in here, please,” he replied with some fake arrogance

“Fine, then do the next person that enters,” you said, enjoying his misery

And the two of you just stood there in the kitchen, leaning on the countertop, staring at everyone who came in, for the next 30 minutes, stuffing food into your mouths

Turns out, Jaehwan barely knew any of the freshmen or sophomores in the dorm, leading to a lot of laughter from the both of you as he made up random names on the spot

After some time of this, when the kitchen emptied out again, you let the question that had been lingering on your subconscious slip out

“So why did you only know my name?” you laughed, before stopping instantly, realizing what you had said

And you were met with… silence

Your nervously looked up at Jaehwan, and saw him staring at his feet, which were bending over on the ground uncomfortably, a drastic change from his usual psycho demeanor

“Uh, well, I sorta heard thatyoulikeme…” he quickly said, the volume of his voice trailing off

And just like that, you could have sworn you heard your heart drop

Oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing, your cheeks pinking for a different reason than they had been the rest of this evening

“Oh,” was all you managed to get out, standing up straight, subconsciously starting to move away from him, your head turning to face a different direction

“Wait, no, (Y/N), I’m not talking to you just because of that,” Jaehwan said, placing a soft hand on your shoulder, holding you back, making you hesitantly look back at him

“I mean,” he said, starting to awkwardly laugh, “a lot of people knew about it, although I didn’t realize how much you enjoyed looking at me until one of my friends told me,”

“Ugh I get it, I’m totally obvious, I have a huge crush on you, big deal,” you replied, disheartened, moving Jaehwan’s hand on your shoulder with one of your own, but he took advantage of the contact and took your hand

“Wait, no, I’m sorry, I don’t think I’m explaining this properly, I heard you liked me and I didn’t know who you were, but I found out soon after that, and I sorta noticed you were really cute and you always laughed at my jokes and seem really nice and I want to get to know you better because I kinda like you too,” he hurriedly confessed

You were totally overwhelmed at the past minute of new information, staring blankly at Jaehwan, as he looked back at you, waiting for a response

“Uh, what?”

Jaehwan smirked at you, making your heartbeat rise; seeing you get all flustered at his words made him incredibly satisfied

“So do you want to get to know each other better?” he asked, poking your nose

You finally let a smile break free onto your face, nodding enthusiastically

“What? I can’t hear you,” Jaehwan teased

“Okey okey!” you exclaimed, making Jaehwan lose his cockiness and pull you into a hug

“OKEY OKEY!” he screamed, and you kicked him in response, your physical reaction being completely different from your rapidly beating heart but who cares hahhahahaha

You two just chatted and ate for the rest of the party, sometimes going out to stare at the people dancing, the both of you proclaiming that you weren’t “dancing people” (Jaehwan demonstrated some of his… questionable dancing moves to demonstrate his point)

Anyway when your friends heard this news, they were all relieved, claiming that they thought it would never happen (GEE THANKS)

(Jaehwan’s friends were equally happy, having been annoyed for the past couple months of him staring at you and asking them if you had laughed at his attempts to be funny)

You two still didn’t share many classes, but met a lot in the dorm, and activities were actually able to be enjoyed by you after this because not all your attention was on him!!! Wowza!

For example,,, movie nights turned from staring at each other from across the room to cuddling under a blanket AHHH

(well that might not be the best example… as his presence next to you was tbh still pretty incredible for a little bit haH)

You two raided parties solely for the food, becoming infamous for creepily staring at people while the both of you munched on snacks

As you loosened up around him and became more comfortable with your dorm group as a whole, you actually found that you had a psycho laugh as well (some people said yours sounded like a hyena mixed with a squeaky door)

Who needs a power couple when you can have a psycho couple

y’all are weirdos but somehow it’s still adorable

Masterlist

Requests are open! Thank y’all for waiting ❤️

[a-goose-egg]

Chicken wings

It was a fine fall friday evening in Massachusetts. I had been there for just a couple of months, a skinny, sweet-faced Indian kid, already missing everything he had left back in India. A fellow American grad student with whom I shared the occupancy of my university lab approached me in earnest. Ever since I had made his acquaintance, he had been the recipient of daily complaints about how American food was so flavorless compared to spicy Indian food. Today, he had decided to expose me to something called “Buffalo chicken wings”. You want spicy, I’ll show you spicy, said my labmate whom I’ll call Burt because that was his name.

“Buffalo chicken wings, huh”, I said. It was the first time I was hearing about this zoological oddity. We took the campus bus to our local mall housing the Ground Round brewing company that was our destination for these wings.

The menu in the Ground Round rated wings from 1 to 5 fire alarms in increasing severity of heat. Since Instagram did not exist at the time, Burt was ready with pad and pencil to sketch my reaction to the heat explosion. The waiter arrived to take our order.

“I’ll do a dozen of the 3-alarm wings”, I said, just to be on the safe side.

Burt was shocked. “Are you sure, these things kick ass”, he said. His concern for my well-being touched me to the very core of my core.

“Okay wait”, I said to the waiter, “I’ll go with the 2-alarm wings instead”. Burt looked relieved.

The wings arrived in due course. I took a tentative bite. Burt was scanning my face for my reaction. My face was blank. The wings were bland. Not spicy at all.

“Burt”, I said, “This is not hitting the spot. They are not even in the same zip code as the spot.”

Burt was confused. “Okay let’s try the 3-alarm wings”, he suggested.

We ordered the 3-alarm wings.

They were less bland but still pretty bland.

We ordered the 4-alarm wings. Nothing. I was getting impatient now. The spice clock in my body was ticking.

We ordered the 5-alarm wings.

When the wings arrived, Burt’s eyes started to water. He was holding the menu between himself and the wings to shield his face from the fumes.

I took a bite. The vinegar fumes were blinding me but I still couldn’t taste the spice. What. The. Fuck.

“This is IT”, I yelled, “I’m done with this”. I jumped out of the booth so hard the wings fell to the floor. “Let’s go, Burt”, I demanded.

“He’s holding a 5-alarm”, whimpered a guy cowering underneath the table next to us.

I pointed a wing at him. “Don’t do anything stupid and no one gets hurt”, I said.

We slowly backed out of the bar and fled to the bus stop to wait for the next bus back to campus.

Chicken wings are America’s “guilty pleasure”, ”finger food”, “watch sports and drink copious amounts of alcohol while eating crap” crap. But chicken wings are also something much better than all these things. Chicken wings are where American cuisine leaves its boring roots, spreads its wings and flirts with the gods of world cuisine watching over us as we try to live out our life on this doomed planet. Chicken wings can be cooked and spiced in a thousand different ways; fried, roasted, mild, hot, buffalo, garlic, parmesan ranch, honey barbecue, tandoori, Sichuan, teriyaki, I could go on forever. Chicken wings are adaptable enough to accommodate every single palate and lifestyle in the world except vegetarian, pescaterian and cannibal.

Every American has their favorite wing joint, a place they will swear by and scamper off to during the zombie apocalypse to spend the remaining few hours of their life in wingful bliss. As part of my ongoing quest to find such a place for myself I visited the Pizza time saloon, a bar near my house. Word on the street was, their wings were the absolute bomb. I hailed the bartender and requested the wings, with the caveat that they be the hottest he could possibly make them.

The bartender stared at my face and said, “Are you Indian”?

“Yes”, I replied, “why?”

He leaned in conspiratorially and whispered into my ear, “Would you like to try…The Indian Special?”

“The Indian Special?”, I said, confused but also mildly aroused.

He gave me the scoop. Apparently quite a few regular patrons of this bar were Indian, employed in the pharmaceutical company next door. One day, frustrated with the blandness of the 40 cent buffalo wings they were being fed during happy hour, they had conducted a peaceful civil disobedience movement in the kitchen until the chef concocted a wing recipe that was spicy and flavorful enough for their tastes.

“So, how about it?” said the bartender.

“Yes please, I’ll have a dozen Indian Specials”, I replied.

When the wings arrived they looked nothing like a typical buffalo wing. The disobedience had certainly paid off. The wings were covered in a chunky dark sauce replete with an ominous amount of red pepper flakes dotting every millimeter of the wing. The scent of garam masala and chilli powder wafted up into the atmosphere. If you closed your eyes you could still hear the buffalo sauce screaming silently in the background but that was all that remained of it. They were garnished with cilantro and it was clear that the blue cheese accompaniment had no idea what the hell was going on.

The flavor was terrific. The spice was just hot enough to make me tear up but not weep profusely like I had done back in college during a theatrical screening of Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa when the girl I had a crush on presented a rose to someone else on Valentine’s day.

I had found my go-to zombie apocalypse wing place.

A few years later, I was birding with my friend Duck on the grounds of an abandoned psychiatric facility. I apologize for the hard segue but there is a context, wait for it. After a fair bit of peeking into partially broken windows of abandoned buildings hoping to see disenchanted spirits and staring into trees trying to spot yellow warblers and orioles, we realized that we were both ghoulishly hungry and thirsty. Quickly I google mapped the nearest bar. As it so happened, there was one right within these desolate grounds. We drove there and found ourselves standing outside the Shanahan bar and grill. It appeared that once upon a time this establishment used to be a single family home, now converted into a bar with a cozy interior and more importantly, a nice patio area in the back facing the woods. Google had advised me that this place was famous for its hot wings. Confident in our ability to tackle the hottest the Buffalo world had to offer, we ordered the “complete total insanity” wings. The waitress looked us dead in the eyes and said, “Are. you. sure?”

Look, in my defense, I’ve experienced this question in bars and restaurants all across the US. As a person of Indian descent I am offended whenever someone questions my ability to consume the spiciest foods, meats and soups their establishment has to offer. And therefore, staring sternly back at her, I replied, “Yes, ma’am, I am very sure. Please. Bring them on.”

We sat in that scenic patio with a view of the decrepit asylum buildings, drinking our Sam Adams Boston Lager in the early spring sunshine, watching red-bellied woodpeckers tapping on the forest wall and waiting for our wings. When the wings arrived they looked innocuous, even benign. I would even go so far as to call them congenial. When I bent down for a light sniff I did not detect toxic fumes upon my face or nostrils. So Duck and I, we each picked up a wing and took a bite.

Oh, how pernicious, you wing. The sauce was not vinegar-based and that’s why there was a lack of facial assault. But the spice was pure powdered habanero. The wing was fierce. I chewed on gamely and took another bite. Duck coughed gently and excused himself to go to the bathroom. In his absence I began to weep freely. I took another bite. At this point my goal in life was simply to finish this one goddamn wing without dying. What had hell wrought upon us? I finally finished it but my mouth was acres of wildfire, not to mention my fingers and everything they had touched on my face. I went to wash my hands and face in the bathroom. Duck was there, completely drenched, slapping water all over his entire body. Duck was crying. Duck and I, we lay on the floor for a while hugging each other and wishing for death that never came.

I boxed the rest of those wings and took them home. I had a goddamn biological weapon in my possession that I had paid good money for and I fully intended to use it.

Monday, when I got to work, I dispatched the following missive to the company email list:

Gentlemen,

In the fridge, there are 8 chicken wings. These are no ordinary wings. These are wings of death. As you know, I am Indian and we eat, drink and breathe spicy. When we get hurt, we stop the bleeding by sprinkling red pepper flakes on the wound.

But these wings defeated me. I was unable to make it past 1 and it was a near death experience.

Here are the challenges, should you choose to accept them:

Eat 4 of these wings and I will pay you $20.

Consume all 8 and I will pay your surviving next of kin $50.

Who among you is up for this?

Note: You will sign a waiver absolving me of all liability before you embark upon this feat. Also, please make sure you notify your next of kin.

Only serious challengers need apply.

A few minutes after lunch Brian and Tony approached me. Brian is a fresh faced sales guy and Tony was in tech support, a hefty former college football player. They had perused my email, had a quick conference and decided that they would take on my wing challenge as a team. I told them that I would pay them $20 each if they managed to stuff four wings each down their bellies. They agreed to these terms.

The moment the clock struck 5 the entire company began to trickle into the kitchen area. Word had spread all afternoon about Brian and Tony accepting my challenge. The contestants walked in and it was on.

I microwaved the wings for 30 seconds, just to loosen up the sauces and the hurt. They each picked up a wing.

Five years later, the one thing I remember vividly from this day is Brian’s face. Brian is a very attractive dude with a shapely round white face. As I watched his face get redder and redder and eyes start to bulge from their sockets, I remember wondering if his face was going to literally explode. Tony, on the other hand, is a big swarthy Italian guy so his agony was manifest more through choking sounds and tears. I have to give it up to both of them, they plodded through the wings gamely. I cannot begin to imagine what was happening to their body on the inside and on the outside. The moment they were done they ran to the fridge and emptied an entire carton of heavy cream between themselves.

The next day we received an update on what had transpired after they left work. Driving home, Brian had experienced severe acid reflux as never before and had to stop at a pharmacy to purchase antacids that cost more than 20 bucks, thus effectively putting him at a monetary loss. Furthermore, after he reached home he was severely chastised by his wife for his decision to even accept such a death defying challenge in the first place as a married man with familial responsibilities.

On his way home, Tony had to stop multiple times to vomit by the side of the road. He was reticent to describe what had happened after he reached home but I suspect it’s because the college football player within him was loathe to reveal such delicate details to a largely mirthful audience.

So seeing as we have reached the end of my autobiographical chicken wing ruminations, allow me to let you in on my personal recipe for hot wings. Roast the wings in an oven until they’re crispy. The base for your sauce should be vinegar, Frank’s hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce, chopped fresh garlic and most importantly, butter. Heat this stuff together then go wild improvising the spice aspect. A few suggestions: freshly chopped peppers (jalapenos / habaneros / Indian green chillies / literally any hot chilli pepper in the world), powdered heat (cayenne / chipotle / chilli powder / smoked or Hungarian hot paprika / garam masala). Mix it all together with the base sauce and toss the wings in it.

And welcome to wing heaven.

[spin-me-a-tapestry]

85 question game

rules: answer these 85 statements and tag twenty people

tagged by @dasfreefree

the last

drink: water

phone call: a work call lol

text message: (to my friendo kelsey) “aahhhh omg i totally forgot lolol ill do it tonighy”

song you listened to: Do I Wanna Know? by The Arctic Monkeys

time you cried: *katya voice* i havent felt emotion since the accident (jk it was yesterday lolol)

dated someone twice: never lolol

kissed someone and regretted it: back in junior year of high school when i had to kiss someone on stage for the musical lolol

been cheated on: never

lost someone special: i guess when my grandma died which was 3 years ago now

been depressed: right now lololol

gotten drunk and thrown up: back in junior year of college i did a performance art piece for one of my classes where i filmed myself taking a shot of vodka roughly every minute for a half hour (i ended up consuming like 19 shots)

three favourite colours

baby blue

forest green

baby pink

in the last year have you

made new friends: hhmmmm idk??  ive def met new people

fallen out of love: idt ive ever been in love so uuhh no

laughed until you cried: prob this past weekend

found out someone was talking about you: idk im always paranoid about other people talking about me tho

met someone who changed you: not really

found out who your friends are: i guess??

kissed someone on your facebook list: nope

general

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? basically everyone

do you have any pets? yep! a kitty

do you want to change your name? not really, i cant really picture myself with any other name tbh

what did you do for your last birthday? my friend took me out to brickwall tavern and i had a really good chicken pot pie

what time did you wake up? for work i have to get up at like 6 or 6:30 but when im not working it depends on how late i stayed up the previous night lolol

what were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping

name something you can’t wait for: to move the fuck ooouuutttt and also to have enough money to go on a trip somewhere ive been dying to travel

when was the last time you saw your mum: last night cause uuhhh i live at home still :’)

what are you listening to right now? the sound of my own typing

have you ever talked to a person named tom? yeh!!  i was friends with a guy named tom in college and we had a lot of studio classes together but i havent talked to him in a while

something that is getting on your nerves: work related things

most visited website: its between tumblr youtube and facebook i kinda just check those three on an endless loop all the time

hair colour: blonde but im trying to grow the color out so my natural colors coming through (its like a light brown)

long or short hair: suuuuuuuper long i havent gotten a haircut in like a year

do you have a crush on someone? yeh sort of

what do you like about yourself? im smart and funny and actually have some common sense B) B) B)

piercings: just one on each ear

blood type: omg i used to know this and i forgot but i think im AB something

nickname: ernie B)

zodiac: capricorn

pronouns: she/her

favourite tv show(s): Rupauls Drag Race, Steven Universe, Legion, Chewing Gum, Bob’s Burgers, Louie, Black Mirror, Face Off

tattoos: none but i want one sooo baaaddd

right or left handed: left!

surgery: got my wisdom teeth removed and got a mole excised but thats it

sport: played basketball for 2 weeks in the 1st grade lololol

vacation: last time i went on a legit vacation was last year to Cape Cod with the fam

pair of trainers: sketchers B)

more general

eating: nothing right now but i just had a panera sandwich & chips & a cookie for lunch

drinking: water

i’m about to: avoid doing more work for the next like 10 minutes

waiting for: this day to be over so i can go home and sleep

want: to go to the beach again before summers over but the weathers been so crappy

get married: i honestly dont want to???  like if i settle down with someone and they wanna get married i would but if they didnt id be cool with that too

career: just trying to make money and pay my bills tbh i havent done what i actually enjoy doing (art) in months

which is better?

hugs or kisses: ive never been kissed before but i think id enjoy kisses more tbh

lips or eyes: waahhh this is a hard one!!!  uuhhhh eyes

shorter or taller: taller

older or younger: older or same age

nice arms or nice stomach: both please (but nice arms is always gud)

hookup or relationship: relationship!

troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant but its my secret fantasy to be a troublemaker rebel lil shit who doesnt care about anything and like has millions of piercings and a shaved head and wears leather jackets all the time u feel me

have you ever

kissed a stranger: nope!

drank hard liquor: thats literally all i drink lolol

lose glasses/contact lenses: i lost my glasses multiple times as a child my parents were not happy with me

turned someone down: yeah a few times and i honestly regret it but im such a nervous anxiety-ridden lil shit its a vicious cycle

sex on the first date: prob not i would get nervous just kissing someone on the first date

had your heart broken: oh yeah

been arrested: nope!  just pulled over a couple times

cried when someone died: yes

fallen for a friend: hehehehehehehehehehehehehe

do you believe in

yourself: recently not really but im trying

miracles: not really??  its nice to think that miracles do happen but im not spiritual/religious enough to fully believe in them

love at first sight: hell no its a lie

santa claus: i mean who else gives me sick presents certainly not my parents who eerily have the same exact handwriting as santa claus

kiss on the first date: never been kissed never kissed anyone so no

angels: idk about this one cause i like to think that somehow family members who have died are looking out for me???  but again my atheist ass finds it hard to believe

other

eye colour: green!

favourite movie: u cant ask me this do u know how many movies ive seen i cant even count all my fave movies on both my hands

idfk who else to tag cause all the people i know have already been tagged so if u see this and u follow me DO IT IF U HAVENT ALREADY DONE IT!!!!!!!

[bibbykins]

Moonlight Reign (Ch. 1)

A/N: Okay, my first series (since Snowfall All Year is only a two parter I need to finish) I’ve been wanting to write a mafia!au for the longest time, and I am crazy late on the trend but fuck it. Hope y’all enjoy and give me some love!

Pairing: Mafia boss! Yoongi x reader (hopefully it’ll stay that way)

Word count: 2.7k

Genre: Angst, fluff, maybe some smut

Summary: Some things in this world are dangerous, and you, him, and the world you once lived in that now belongs to him are just some of many you can’t be free from, but do you even want to be?

“It’s time to go now, y/n.” 

1, 2, 3, 4

“Five years after the fall of the underground power family, Moon Corporation, people still suspect an even more powerful company has taken their place since…”

1, 2, 3, 4

“The color red doesn’t suit this house well.”

1, 2, 3, 4

“The exposure beheld more answers than questions, but on the five-year anniversary of the suicidal explosion that killed the head, Mun Byungyeol and his daughter, the, as ordered to remain anonymous, green haired 13 year old. Colleagues mourn in secret and establishments fear an anniversary heist…”

1, 2, 3, 4

“Locals have several theories on the big conglomerate that now controls Seoul’s business, underground and above, with mafias and gangs running rampant, people fear the government is under their thumb as well…”

1, 2-

You inhaled deeply, as if just surfacing from the drowning body of water residing in your brain. Your fingers stilled from the tapping, a  desperate attempt to make you surface, a sorry technique therapy drilled into you.

Four was too perfect of a number for such an ugly world, a world you had to feign blind to now.

Your palms retracted from their firm placement on the wall you leaned on, relaxing you. Releasing your slightly curled fingers, you stifled a laugh at the desperate attempt to grasp onto something. 

Your little episode was finished as you settled your mind with the news continuing to drone on. Looking at the time, you decided it was time to get ready for your study session with Jungkook. 

Jungkook was a guy in the same university as you, he was older, but you were a year ahead, so you were in the same class. He was your neighbor in this adequate apartment complex that you kept via a crappy waitressing job. He was the regular party boy always at clubs and coming home at ungodly hours of the night. 

You weren’t exactly a social butterfly, so if you found one friend in Jungkook, you figured it wouldn’t be such a crime.

You faced the mirror, patting down your hair, “The green didn’t suit me well at all,” You mused, fixing your natural shade of hair, “Although the forest green was a nice shade on my skin.”

After gathering your study material, Jungkook knocked on your door and you studied like usual. He would always get distracted halfway through, though.“Why do you still have the news on?” 

You looked at the TV and shrugged.

“I guess I forgot,” You spoke, “Now what did you think this-”

“Mafias and gangs…” He mused, “Aren’t they the same?”

The pencil in your hand stilled. Absolutely not. Gangs were pawns, the mafias in this world were the players. As a little girl, that was the first thing you had learned, how to play chess outside a casual park bench, how to play chess crushing people in your hands as you moved them.

“Like I care.”

“You aren’t scared of these guys at all?”

“Failing class is scary, that,” You gestured to the TV, “Is a cheap haunted house in comparison to the hell of getting a D for my semester grade.”

Jungkook stifled a laugh, “I’m thanking every divine being if I pass, but it’s worth it as opposed to only studying and working.”

You rolled your eyes, “Sorry I’m not a child of the night.” Not anymore, at least.

—-

A few days later exams went well for you, and you finished your semester and had a solid two months off. All was well and it was peaceful in the dead of night.Too bad your body rejected sleep.This week was a big week.

////

“Dad?” You whimpered as a strong hand patted your head to calm you, or soften the blow of what’s to come, “Tell me you didn’t.”

Mun Byungyeol was a rough man who took you in as a young child. His men killed your parents for revenge and a nearly-dead 3-year-old suffering from starvation and cigarette burns was found at the scene. Initially resistant to your arrival, he got right to training you to be the heiress to replace the heir he never received.

He may have been rough, but he was a caring dad, even if you had never been his priority.

Not unless you could be used as currency.

“Y/n, it’s time for us to go,” He sighed, “I let this greed consume me, and I’m afraid it’s begun eating me alive now.”

Your mind couldn’t comprehend his words. The news was drowning out the comfort he attempted to give you. “…such evidence is linking the Moon Corporation to heinous mafia activities painting them as a possible syndicate, but no arrests have been made or criminal investigation on Mun Byungyeol himself, but many workers are being targeted due to possible involvement…”

Everything was dying. All your training was never for anything but fuel for his greed. You should be angry, shocked, appalled, but you weren’t. He’s been cashing out for so long on the blood of his family and foes that you didn’t even flinch when he said it. You did, however, flinch when the whole world highlighted it.

“If I just cash out and retire, we could never live in peace,” He shook his head as he switched off the TV, “But Uncle Byungjoo has a plan that I think might just work, but you and I won’t meet for a few years-”

He was going to abandon it. Cash out one last time, and leave. You were too surprised, you had put an inkling of faith in his heart to love this empire, like a fool. Your eyes widened at the notion of him abandoning you too. All you knew was his presence. All you knew were your father figures, “But the empire-”

“We were never an empire,” His self-loathing clung to each word, “I treated this organization as a bank, a money maker, it was inevitable that the paper I cradled would catch fire.”

You didn’t scream, yell, or cry. At least you hadn’t, yet.“Then who will rule Seoul?” You wondered aloud.

“A real syndicate.”

“Who will stay with me?”

He smiled warmly at you for the third time in your life, “One day, a real human.”

////

You woke up with a start from a bang on the door, but considering the 4 am hour, you chalked it up to city noise. Five years ago today, you saw the match light. In two days, it will have been five years ago you saw the flames engulf your home, your family, and everything you were. Each year, this week was chaos for the city of Seoul. Each day was accompanied by an event that slowly grew more and more above ground. It was almost mocking the past, the surfacing of dirty secrets. Secrets the world knew, but never wanted to see, cowards.

The new syndicate at the top of the kingdom was known as Bangtan to the underground scene, but with a “Group” tacked on after the ominous name, they were also the kings of the business world. They were much better at actually hiding their identities, hence why most average people assumed there was no such syndicate anymore or that the “law” took care of it. As if the “law” wasn’t under the thumb of the kings. 

The only reason you were aware of their presence was because getting out of the game was easy, but you could never fully burn the console.

Another bang on your door startled you out of your thoughts, “I knew I shouldn’t have let you go alone to the bar before such a big day- where are your keys?!” 

An unfamiliar voice spoke through your door.

“Ask, y/n,” Jungkook’s slurred voice rang out in a yell as you flinched at the volume, “Y/n! I need stitches!” 

This wasn’t the first time Jungkook was yelling outside your door, most likely bleeding on your doormat. You never really asked questions, you just patched him up and left him on your couch.

“Is this even your door?! Did you lead me to one of your whore’s places?!”

“Bangtan!” Jungkook chanted in response.

This made you huff as you hopped out of bed in your large t-shirt and shorts and ripped the door open. You were faced with a blonde haired man in a three-piece suit accompanied by a trashed Jungkook with a short, but deep, cut on the corner of his forehead. The blonde-haired handsome man stopped struggling with Jungkook as he looked at you with the most pristine judging face, “Look, just forget we were-”

“Y/n!” Jungkook cheered before he passed out.

“He lives next door,” You remarked flatly, “No, I’m not one of his whores, more like one of his classmates, but I’ve seen those lines get blurred with him a lot, so I understand the assumption,” You looked at his forehead again, “And he does need stitches.”

The man narrowed his eyes, “Do you usually play nurse for him?”

“Only when his blood is dripping on my doormat, for the third time this month,” You angled your head down for the man to see, “Bring him in, you aren’t the first friend of his I’ve met-”

“But-”

“Anymore blood on that mat and I’m making you pay for it, now come on,” You snapped as he walked in and sat Jungkook in a chair around your table. You shut the door as you pulled your first aid kit out, “You have to sit him on the floor or the couch.”He complied to the couch, 

“Why does he-”

“When he wakes up, he attacks whoever is in front of him,” You spoke, preparing the needle and thread, “And I can’t stitch and hold him down at the table,” You explained, settling your knees to lock on both sides of Jungkook’s legs and your elbows pressing on his shoulders.

“Aren’t you scared he’ll hurt you?” The man asked as you began stitching.

You scoffed, “The only thing that scares me are failing grades.” You chuckled, “Plus Jungkook hurting me? Yeah, right. He has the fight of a peanut.”

Eventually, you just went on stitching in silence until the man broke the silence, “Who are you?” The man spoke mid-way through your stitching.

You paused for a moment, “Didn’t you hear Jungkook? I’m y/n, and who are you?”

“None of your concern,” He stated.“You’re bleeding on my hardwood floor, that has me pretty concerned.” You gestured to your hand to show him the small cut on his, “Concerned for my floor I mean.” You clarified, “The other two told me their first names at least.”

You thought back to the much pluckier and grateful Taehyung and Jimin as they smiled at you before taking Jungkook away.

He sighed, “Namjoon-”

You were tying the final knot when Jungkook snapped his eyes open. He immediately dove at you, pushing you to the floor, making the needle in your hand scratch your forearm before you threw it across the room to avoid the tempting notion of stabbing him with it. Namjoon was trying to find an opening to cut in between the struggling as Jungkook was sloppily throwing his fist down and you were moving your head to dodge each blow. Though his moves were sloppy, they were still fast, and Namjoon ended up watching in awe as you fearlessly slammed your forehead on his fresh stitches to make him stop to register the pain. You took advantage of the opening as you effortlessly pinned his arms down with your knees planted on his upper arms, “Jungkook!” You snapped as Namjoon watched his younger friend finally recognize you in his drunken haze.

“Y-Y/n?” He questioned, his tongue thick in his mouth, “You hurt my head- hey, you’re bleeding on my shirt!”

Your arm had a gash the length of a half ruler, it was shallow, but still dripping blood, but you didn’t flinch, “Wonder who made me hurt both my arm and their head, jackass,” You muttered, examining his stitches to make sure the impact didn’t affect the new suture, “And you got your blood on my doormat and my forehead, so let’s call it a draw.”

Namjoon was beginning to suspect you were more than a college student. With the sheer fearlessness and those fighting skills, you had to be something or someone who was anything but a regular student. Upon this realization, he then felt enormous regret wash over him for telling you his name. Yoongi would be livid if the empire was affected by Namjoon’s poor judgment, even in the most minuscule of ways. This string of thoughts prompted his mistake of grasping your wounded forearm to make you stand so he could properly question you. What he didn’t calculate in that movement was the fact that he grasped your fresh cut, which hurt like a bitch. This pain made you bring your other forearm to his neck, pressing firmly into his trachea as his back hit the wall with a bang, “Don’t ever manhandle a lady, Namjoon,” You seethed as you released him, “Care to explain yourself?” 

Namjoon regained his composure, impressed by your reaction time and ability to weaken his pride in such a short matter of seconds, “Who are you?” His tone was rougher in comparison to when he first asked the question.

“None of your concern,” You mocked, “Now take your sloppy friend, an alcohol pad and go-”

Your anger was cut short by a cloth that smelled an awful lot like chloroform engulfing your senses and releasing you from consciousness.

[judefan831-blog]

analysis of state gaming revenue reports

Secure playing fields for games and practices. You hate to create a buzz for your league then have to scramble to find venues. A town or school system often have public fields that teams need to reserve in advance. The raspberry sauce is a speedy little delight made wholesale nfl jerseys from china from defrosted frozen raspberries that are crushed, then flavoured with a bit of sugar. You're welcome to swap in blueberries, strawberries, finely chopped peaches, or any of your favourite fruits. If you have the time and inclination to refine this part of the recipe, you can puree the berries, then put them through a sieve to remove the seeds before adding the sugar.

In 2014, $3.9 billion was gambled on sports wholesale nfl jerseys in Nevada, according to an analysis of state gaming revenue reports by the UNLV Center for Gaming Research. Nearly half $1.75 billion was wagered on football. (That includes both the NFL and college football, the analysis doesn't offer a breakdown by league).

You need a great eye, some luck with some technique. People still recall tests from 10, 20, 30 more years ago, but T20's? After a day or so has passed, all is forgotten. We have well www.cheapjerseysofchina.com over 120 players in our club just about all of them young and old, prefer the longer format as a game although most of us enjoy watching T20's..

If you're a fan wanting to buy a custom soccer jersey to show your support, the first place you should look is online. There are a number of online retailers that offer soccer jersey customization for a small or nominal fee. You can put any name you like and have the jersey replicate any team.

Seven of his nine wickets in the second innings were caught, with the only exception coming by lbw. The Southwell name is a familiar one at the Queanbeyan club, with younger brother Dean a regular among the wicket takers in first grade. "I always get his Cheap Jerseys from china acknowledgements in the paper, you just see D Southwell," Southwell said.

She now walked with purpose.Why the Soft Spoken Voice Does Not Sell. Simply put, if your words are not being heard, then your message is irrelevant. An employee of 3M, Don was not offering his opinions during the weekly management meetings because wholesale nfl jerseys he was constantly being interrupted.

It is indicated on Cheap Jerseys from china the New York state laws that one has no right to check the criminal history of other people. Thus, personal arrest files are the only ones that can be obtained by an individual. A $50 fee is needed when requesting for an arrest record.

Leaving, New Plymouth the Springboks crossed over to the South Island for the second time on tour and travelled down to the southernmost town in New Zealand, namely Invercargill to www.cheapjerseys-football.com play against the regions representative team, Southland. The South Island is considered to be main land in New Zealand and more patriotic and enthusiastic rugby supporters are hard to find. The real New Zealand men or the hard men comes from the Deep South; the men with natural strength, endurance, and grit developed by manual labour in tough and uncompromising environmental conditions windy, and hilly with little luxuries.

"I think it is an attractive club for a player," said the Spurs head coach. "Tottenham has big history and big potential for the future. We have a plan for the future, the facilities are unbelievable and a new stadium [on the way]. Dani Alves refuses to talk about his future before the Champions League finalThe defender has been Cheap Jerseys free shipping linked with a move cheap nfl jerseys to Manchester United, but says he wholesale jerseys will not discuss his summer activities ahead of the Berlin showpiece16:44, 25 MAY 2015Updated11:14, 26 MAY 2015On the move? Alves has refused to talk about his future (Photo: David Ramos) Get football updates directly to your inbox+ SubscribeThank you for subscribing!Could not subscribe, wholesale nfl jerseys from china try again laterInvalid Cheap Jerseys china EmailDani Alves has put to bed any talk about his future until after cheap jerseys the Champions League final.Alves' Barcelona side will face Juventus in Berlin a week on Saturday, and he as said he will not discuss what might happen in the summer cheap jerseys until the game is concluded.It was reported last month that he would still prefer nfl jerseys to remain at Barcelona, but wants a three year extension to his current deal which expires in the summer.He continues to be linked with a move to Manchester United, with the Red Devils also reportedly interested in Southampton full back Nathaniel Clyne and Dutch defender Gregory van der Wiel.Alves spoke to the press ahead of the European final, and said his thoughts are fully focused on the game.He said: "It is a reward to be playing another final, we know how difficult it is to get there. "We have to be very careful with Juventus. We know it'll be a tough game, worthy of a final."We have too much at stake for me to be thinking about my future.

Brady, who threw for most of his 277 yards in comeback mode, led the Patriots to a pair of fourth quarter touchdowns. But they were a pair of time consuming 80 yard drives. The second www.cheapjerseyssalesupply.com cut the deficit to 26 16 with 3:07 left, but the Broncos stopped on the 2 point conversion, and the celebration was on in Denver.

[terryblount]

Crackdown 3 – Campaign Review

The past four months paint a bleak picture of the big-budget gaming scene as players had to endure a long series of major disappointments. Games that have been overstimulating our salivary glands for months – or even years – since their announcement only seemed to drive the wedge between publishers and us as consumers deeper and deeper. It was also no secret that long-time fans of Microsoft’s classic, Crackdown IP branded the third instalment as yet another game that missed the bar in terms of fan expectations.

It was therefore with a sense of wariness that I installed my review copy of Crackdown 3 since the current state of the AAA scene has been likened to a dumpster fire by many. Adding to my reluctance was the fact that I never played the previous games, which ruled out any sentimental attachment I might have had to the series as a whole. Ironically, Crackdown 3 turned out to be a game that I think was lambasted due to being a product of its context rather than a lack of quality.

“Quack, quack motherducker!” Apparently it is some sort of long-running gag in the series. Don’t ask me.

I am not saying that fans of this series have no reason to be upset; it has been nearly nine years since the previous game after all. However, as a player experiencing Crackdown 3 in isolation from its roots (and with curbed enthusiasm), I really had fun with it. It has no ambition to be original, nor does try to convey a compelling narrative, but what it can offer to players is a hearty sandbox experience that never tries to overreach itself.

Join the crew, Terry’s crew!

The game plays out in a world where super criminals have given rise to super mercenaries for hire thanks to an organisation simply called ‘The Agency.’ With the power of cybernetic and genetic enhancements, The Agency has ushered in a new age of peace keepers where a single ‘Agent’ can represent the military advantage of a one man army. As in the previous two games, The Agency has once again been summoned into a metropolis (called ‘New Providence’ this time round) where the power of corrupt bureaucrats has grown beyond the reach of the law.

This time the focal point of corruption lies within a super corporation named ‘Terra Nova,’ and it is up to Terry Crews… I mean Commander Jaxon and his squad to overthrow the establishment from within. In a style that is virtually identical to Middle Eath: Shadow or Mordor/War, the aim is not to kick down the front door and open fire on the person sitting behind the desk. Instead, Terra Nova must be destroyed using the one, true antidote for tyrants: Anarchy.

The leader of Terra Nova, Elizabeth Niemand. The final boss.

As such, the player will spend their time unleashing all kinds of hell on processing facilities, freeing the local resistance militia, and recapturing outposts all while mowing down masses of hired thugs. You do this until the commanders of each division get mad enough to face you head-on, at which point the opportunity presents itself to strike at the head of the snake. Once all of the lessor bosses have been blasted to kingdom come, the time will come to move against the leader of Terra Nova itself.

That weird feeling of Déjà vu

Shadow of Mordor/War is not the only book that Crackdown 3 has borrowed a few pages from. In fact, virtually all of the gameplay mechanics will feel extremely familiar to anyone that has so much as touched a sandbox or open-world game in the last ten years. Fans from Saint’s Row, Grand Theft Auto, Infamous and even Far Cry will all find something they instantly recognise within Crackdown 3’s gameplay mechanics.

Much like Shadow of War/Mordor you can even gather bits of intel on the bosses, and defeating one makes a path up to those in the higher hierarchies.

Still, the most obvious pedigree would have to be Just Cause 3 both in terms of how the game plays, and equally within the structure of the objectives. Crackdown 3 similarly puts you at the edge of the game’s world, and lets you tackle goals and activities in any order of your choosing. The player can spend an hour blowing up chemical plants manufacturing a green goop called Chimera, and then switch freely to liberating resistance soldiers who could offer additional support against the pesky local militia.

All that matters is results, and I never felt pressured to focus on one particular path. Yet, the thing is, I can list so many other games off the top of my head doing the very same thing, and this is perhaps Crackdown 3’s biggest weakness. Instead of being the stylish, next-gen, sci-fi epic that would be a more authentic continuation of 2010’s Crackdown 2, this game’s identity faces a real risk of disappearing beneath all of its more generic elements.

Why would you NOT want to play as Terry Crews!?!?!?

As I mentioned, there is not a whole lot going on in terms of the story which might make many of the tasks seem superficial, if not somewhat repetitive. The city of New Providence is small when compared to some of the dizzying, colossal sandboxes from modern entries in this genre. As such, you don’t exactly pick out an objective, stock up, and take a long trip to where you carry out your tactically-planned mission. You blow up one stronghold, before literally walking to the next one where you just rinse and repeat.

I can likewise agree with the haters that this game never fully realises its visual potential (without digressing into whether or not Crackdown 3 was visually downgraded). The world is characterised by that sterile feeling of a game engine more interested in keeping the frame rate up as opposed to depicting a lush, full environment. The developers, Sumo Digital, even removed those iconic, cel-shaded aesthetics that have always defined the visual identity of this series. This all adds up to a game that just does not have the eye-candy worthy of a nine-year wait.

I thought you said you liked it?

In spite of all this, Crackdown 3 really began to grow on me once I noticed several small, yet significant ways in which the game made an effort to keep things tight and polished. Even if the narrative fades into the background, and the gameplay never innovates beyond what is familiar to the genre, Crackdown 3 is still really good at what it does. The action is slick, volatile and it just works for a AAA title that you expect to have Terry Crews in the lead.

Good for crushing enemies or blowing up pumps!

Take the gun play for example. Here Crackdown 3 lays emphasis on the thrill of momentum and agility, so there is the option of an auto-lock on mechanic. Just bring anything into the gun’s sights, and the designated target will automatically remain locked on while you are free to jump and dash around the battlefield like a kangaroo on opioids.

It is not just purely for style though, since movement is a crucial defensive manoeuvre against the ruthless, hit-scanning AI. The game eagerly throws large numbers at the player once the fight begins, so those moves serve the purpose of making you an impossibly lively target to hit. Moreover, just one strike from the later bosses is enough to take a meaty chunk off your health bar, so getting good at dodging projectiles is anything but a wasted skill.

Agent + mining facility = flames.

The guns are also really fun even if the arsenal at the player’s disposal is not exactly vast. Each gun has been tailored for maximum efficiency towards a specific enemy type which prevents the player from just going in guns blazing. Chemical weapons are virtually useless against refinery workers in hazmat suits, but once you start bringing out the incendiary charges and explosive weapons, the fight suddenly shifts in your favour. This forms a welcome aspect of sub-strategy in addition to the already frenzy combat lighting up your screen.

On top of all this, just because I think Sumo Digital did not fully replicate the visual potential of this series does not mean the game is ugly. On the contrary, the environment is still unmistakably colourful and vibrant, and Crackdown 3’s physics engine is anything but shy when it comes to flashy, thunderous explosions. A distinctive visual style has also been worked into the vehicles and the architecture so, overall, the game is rather easy on the eyes.

Not much in the way of draw distance, but the game can be beautiful when it wants to.

Everything is more fun with friends… or not

Regrettably, I never got a chance to play the multiplayer so my apologies for not being able to comment on that. This is because, firstly, the upload speed of my shoddy internet will only end with me hurling my controller and, secondly, you need an Xbox Gold membership. Besides, in between Anthem and Apex Legends coming out within the same month, will anybody even be playing this?

It behooves me to mention that the multiplayer aspect of Crackdown 3 is called “Wrecking Zone” due to the physics-heavy gameplay mechanics. Much like Warmonger, which came out way back when PhysX cards were still a thing, the player is able to use super realistic, environmental destruction as an active advantage during gameplay. Feel like raising an entire building to the ground to flush your opponent out from hiding? Go for it. Feel like blasting a hole in the wall for a quick getaway? Sure!

Microsoft, however, does the physics calculations for you on the cloud, so you don’t have to stress about bringing the frame rate of your PC or Xbox One to its knees. Let me know how it is if you get a chance to play the multiplayer (or if you would REALLY like a review of it).

Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate

So the dissatisfaction of fans is not entirely misplaced, and I had a blast playing through the relatively short campaign, but where does that leave you making your way through this review? Well, my final opinion is that Crackdown 3 cannot be called a bad game in spite of a few superficial flaws. I am truly disappointed that they did not squeeze more of the sweet visual juices from the Unreal Engine 4, and Terry Crews was hopelessly underused as a leading character.

The agency car you can summon at any time. Once you earn some additional driving skill points it turns into a buggy.

Yet, I just ended up having so much fun because, again, this game just focuses on a near flawless execution of its core gameplay. The action and movement are based on an intuitive control scheme that will have you feeling like a total juggernaut in no time, and the environments make up for their lack in visual fidelity through the level of thought that has been put into their design. The more skilled I became at running and gunning, the more rewarding the overall experience became because the game had no trouble making me look like such a badass.

Crackdown 3 therefore makes for the perfect game to play over weekends when you just want to blow stuff up without having to sift through intricate narrative webs or plot twists. If you already have a Game Pass subscription, or you have a sweet tooth for the more anarchic flavour of sandbox games, play this as soon as possible. For avid fans of the first two entries and newcomers alike, perhaps waiting a bit until the price comes down would be best, but you might just end up liking it lot.

Fast and furious combat

Easy to master

Rewarding exploration

Collectable hunting

Voice acting and sound

Somewhat bland world

Limited story depth

Repetitive in moments

Mediocre graphics

        Playtime: 10 hours total. For the single player campaign

Computer Specs: Windows 10 64-bit computer using Nvidia GTX 1070, i5 4690K CPU, 16GB RAM – Played using an Xbox One Controller

Crackdown 3 – Campaign Review published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/