#this game has been constantly in my head since the full release lol

[serpentstag]

Baldur's Gate Crossing lol

I'm currently working on making a sticker sheet with the main 6 :D

[coconox]

my 2 cents on the state of whb

i've been contemplating about my thoughts on this game since i never really sat down and processed it, and a month of not playing the game and just keeping up with fandom content/official game news i think i can properly format my words (hopefully idk lol)

if you're looking for a specific section dw i'll properly format everything under the cut so you can just scroll till you find whatever you're looking for (also head's up it's insanely long i'm sorry but kinda not sorry i wanted to just put all my thoughts into one post rather than multiple)

SMALL INTRO

for some context on my experience, i have been playing this game everyday since launch/day 1, i was f2p up until i got juno's card, which i'll talk about later, but just know in advanced that juno was the only case where i've spent money. i uninstalled around the time the announcement was made in regards to no posting full stories of paid content, so almost month ago, and only reinstalled recently to grab certain items to add to the spreadsheet that i've been maintaining since november (aka a month after launch)

i've said it privately to a couple of close friends but i'll say it publicly here: imho, i think they released the game way too early even with the fact that they delayed launch 3 times.

i understand a handleful of bugs are from the fact that the public servers are significantly larger than test servers, but playing this game after the servers kinda stabilized feels like we are the test players, like we're constantly given rough drafts rather than the final copy.

the localization is rough to say the least, but i think i've been so used to it from other gachas that i've played that it didn't really ruin the experience for me,,, except when the text would switch to an entirely different language HJGFDHJGK

from visual bugs to gameplay bugs to voiceline bugs, there's been a lack of communication in terms of what has been fixed and what is still a wip. instead the players just have to "fuck around and find out" in terms of whether something has been fixed or not.

as i continue to state the issues with this game and its direction i'd like to put a disclaimer that i am by no means an expert in any of this stuff lol. i'm just a guy who nerds out over math, spreadsheets, and video games and everything i'll be saying is my personal opinion based on what i've seen/experienced.

THE ISSUE(S)

SOLOMON SEALS AND GACHA

i think the first mistake was them adding solomon seals in the first place. based on what packs in the past looked like, it looked like red keys were originally designed to be for debut characters, but instead they throw a curve ball and add ANOTHER gacha currency that was essentially p2w only up till some point early this year. this ultimately led to there being 2 standard banners, both of which essentially do the same thing except one doesn't have A/B/C-ranks. the fact that now even with realm of seraphim, in order for f2ps to have enough to guarantee with seals, they need to save for a year and a half. that is WAY too long for ONE character. this is of course worst case scenario of needing to hit pity, i'm aware you can get characters early but you should never always expect you'll get early in gacha games, i learned that the hard way during my idk how many years i've been playing gachas lol

i personally think that there's no winning across any of the gacha banners. there's no pity for either of the standards, and debut L/S-ranks have imo too high of a pity for what we're actually receiving per week. we essentially get more or less 1 pull per week in terms of red keys, yellow keys, and seals through dailies/weeklies alone, though of course that can vary cause of the rng key boxes, monthly login rewards, etc.

PANCAKES

there seems to be a general pattern that i've noticed of rather than confronting an issue directly they try to create something new in hoping that fixes the issue instead. an example of that would be the pancake shop.

the old pancake shop was fine as is, we could get a multi for relatively cheap price and get pie boxes everyday (albeit they're rng but pies are pies). what they could've done was add the L-ranks and skip tickets or whatever new thing they wanted to add into that old shop, adjusting the currency wherever necessary. yet instead they just remove the old system entirely and replace it for a new one that no one really asked for? while having the L-ranks in shop are nice, an entirely new system wasn't necessary to make that one relatively small addition. having A+-ranks and lower give gold and books was also not necessary, we have resource stages containing those 2 things and it's very accessible to everyone. what resources we are lacking in however are tears and pies, which are arguably more important than gold and books since those 2 currencies are the core to ascending/lvling characters and their skills.

PIES

i've emailed pb in the past in regards to if there will be other permanent methods for obtaining pies, and their response was holy coin portal and events. those two are NOT stable enough for pie income considering the prices of skills. if there's instances in unholy board where we need to level a character's skills, i'd expect there to be some sort of resource stage that would allow us to get pies so that we can easily obtain that skill level requirement.

"META" GAMEPLAY

i'll explain the quotes in a bit but i do want to put a disclaimer that whb was the first time i've experienced a full on tower defense style gameplay for gachas. i was already familiar with how it works kinda because of neural cloud even though the game as a whole is more like an auto-chess game of sorts, but some story gameplay had tower defense mechanisms and i learned a fair bit from playing that. personally i also haven't played arknights since i'm trying to cut down on the amount of gachas i play but i am aware of its playstyle through friends who like to attempt to drag me into playing it cause of certain characters that i might simp over (*cough flamebringer cough insider cough chongyue cough*)

disclaimer aside, trying to piece together what characters work and what don't genuinely hurts my brain. i put "meta" in quotes because realistically there's only 1: all L-rank light types, ideally at least 1 tank, maybe 1 healer (though a tank can act as both), rest be whatever dps you'd like really (preferably satan considering the fact he can be extremely reliable without his ultimate unlike a few characters). of course, everyone will have a different opinion on what they deem as meta, but that's the general idea i'd personally follow based on what kind of battles have been given to us, what characters are available, etc. the rest tbh are just "cope and seethe" for lack of a better term.

there's a huge type advantage with light and dark types, and i really wish they could buff the other elements more just show they have some spotlight too. i also wish there were more non-light L-ranks. as of making this post, out of the 23 L-rank characters there is currently only 1 non-light L-rank, and it's juno, an L-rank fire marksman.

the part that really "hurts" me the most (don't really know what other word to put here LOL) is the fact that this game is going in a very specific direction of just dps'ing through everything and hope you clear the stage before the enemies kill you.

this game has a huge and imbalanced ratio between dps characters and support characters regardless of element. the fact that we only have 5 healers (NOT including lucifer (victory) considering he's technically a marksman and the healing is from his artifact and not in his skills) and 8 tanks, whereas marksman and close-rangers have twice or thrice the amount is absurd. what pains me more is the fact that for tanks, if you don't have mammon, you're screwed. arguably the best non-mammon option players have that's accessible is bimet. valefor and eligos share the same kit with the fact that their downfall is the possibility that they could be instakilled the second they pop their ult. healers on the other hand are somewhat more lenient. if you don't have lucifer, marbas is your next best, then gamigin (marbas and gamigin can technically be placed interchangeably since their healing differs by 0.1%, it just depends on who you have), then morax, then maybe buer but he only heals 1 unit at a time rather than multiple but i digress. healers still have multiple and very reliable non-L-rank alternatives whilst tanks really only have 1. i really, really hope there's more support units in the future cause man this sucks.

NIGHTMARE PASS

spending $50-$70, on paper, is significantly better than spending ~$400 for a character, and that's really the only "good" thing about it 💀

$50-$70 may feel like nothing to some players, but to a majority, that is a portion of a cost towards food, groceries, rent, etc. basically, i'd assume a majority of people would prioritize surviving than watching pixels on a screen.

i understand at the end of the day pb is running a business, but for kings to be fully locked behind a paywall knowing for a fact that a majority of the player base are 1. casuals/f2ps and 2. are here for the kings is absurd. plus with the fact that typically nightmare pass characters aren't added to standard and aren't always 100% guaranteed to rerun in the future just puts the nail in the coffin for me.

i think it makes more sense for non-kings like juno to be in nightmare pass because it's just additional fun and silly content that arguably won't be tied to the main lore and whatnot, maybe referenced as a silly bit here or there but it'd be more of an easter egg than something important that you absolutely need to know.

personally i bought juno's pass because i love his design, kit, and voice. story was kinda meh for me personally but i really just cared more about the va and gameplay. gameplay-wise, he certainly does not disappoint as a gehenna support unit. but do i regret purchasing him? yes and no. oddly enough this was probably the first i've ever felt guilty in terms of buying something i wanted in a gacha game. yes i regret it in terms of i'm no longer really playing this game anymore, which is unfortunate considering i barely made it through half a year of this game's release. yet at the same time, no i don't regret it because he is a really fun unit. for example, when it's gabriel's rotation in realm of seraphim, juno's, leraye (nostalgia)'s, and leraye's ultimates absolutely DESTROY gabriel in a matter of like <10 or so seconds and it's so satisfying to see. i also just really like his va, scratches a very particular itch in my brain.

anyways before i get sidetracked over appreciating juno, the fundamental flaws of nightmare pass are essentially

you shouldn't need to buy both tiers to get the character. you should realistically need to buy the highest tier and by default it unlocks all previous tiers below it

ui is a bit confusing. i still don't get why f2ps have to unlock parts of nightmare pass that they can't even access/obtain. there should be a clear separation between what f2ps get, what advanced tier gets, and what premium tier gets.

it's too expensive. most bp's i know are ~$10 at the highest tier, though that's considering the fact that bp's i'm familiar with only give cosmetics rather than actual units

from what i've heard through the grapevine, beel (bath) is basically in the same formatting as all the other currently existing bath cards, which are all currently obtainable through gacha. beel has no reason to be in nightmare pass. it genuinely makes no sense as to why pb put him there aside from getting money and that in-turn alienates a majority of the fan base since we can't even view the prologue of card stories if they're a nightmare pass character.

when nightmare pass was first released during christmas, everything was in chaos. the fact that a nightmare pass character needed the other two limited gacha characters gameplay-wise is absurd (mind you, this was before we were given the chance to earn seals through weeklies). everything was too expensive, and rather than an enjoyable christmas event it felt like a "merry christmas, now give us money" kind of situation. i think nightmare pass should not be happening as frequent as it is now. the gap between gabriel and juno was perfectly fine (4 month gap btw), but for a nightmare pass to happen back to back on top of gacha events is too much for both f2ps and p2ws.

the point of buying packs, bp, anything that costs real money in a gacha game is so it makes your gameplay experience easier, paying shouldn't be the main component of your game. personally based on what i've experienced through playing gacha games you should theoretically be able to pull for almost every character on debut just by playing dailies/weeklies/events, yet here we get a bit over a multi per patch (this includes playing realm of seraphim).

DICTATING FANDOM INTERACTIONS

i wholeheartedly believe a fandom is what keeps a game alive. a hindrance to the fan base is a hindrance to the game, which can be seen with the aftermath of pb announcing that legal action will be taken if full stories of paid content are shared publicly. while i understand from a business standpoint that pb would want to enforce the "no sharing full story" thing for paid content since they want players to yk, buy the card, like i mentioned in the previous section, the majority of the player base just cannot afford it.

the people who posted full stories wanted to share to those who cannot afford it, some people may not want only tidbits of the story but rather the whole context, especially those who enjoy dissecting character lore but don't have the irl funds to fully experience it themselves. some people may even want to archive it, cause honestly no one knows how long this game will stay up and we want to archive story so that it's something we can easily look back on. to essentially make players borderline terrified on trying to figure out whether or not it's ok to publicly post stuff in relation to any sort of story content is absurd.

there is also that loophole of what is defined as a paid story. when events end and get put behind a paywall, does that now count as paid story or is that still ok? what about debut L-ranks that are behind seals and there's a 3 month downtime till they're added to standard? or is it just referring to nightmare pass characters? paid stories in the context of the state of the game right now is insanely broad, it's practically at least 50% of this game (i'm exaggerating (or maybe not i wouldn't be surprised if that was actually the case)).

i understand no datamining, while it technically speaking isn't illegal, it's disrespectful to the devs, but a lot of these call to action methods they're announcing are rather extreme imo.

with the most recent cards either being put to standard 3 months after their banner ends or flat out paywalled and not 100% guaranteed to have a rerun, story content as of late has been very sparse. what people want most is a main story update, which we were originally promised to be updated every 3 months and it is now month 6 and we still have nothing.

EVENTS AND EVENT STORIES

event stories being locked behind a paywall after the event ends is probably the first time i've ever seen a gacha game do this. most of the gachas i've played either don't archive event story at all and just rerun it every year, don't rerun or archive the event at all (i.e. if you miss it, cope and seethe), or they archive it for FREE. it feels insanely greedy how EVERY event story needs payment if you ever want to backread an old event.

what also concerns me is the fact like instances like gamigin's event or beleth's event carry so much lore for their respective region and that may never show up in main story, which then screws new players over in not knowing the full context behind every region. events like minhyeok's or bimet's are fine in the sense that it doesn't carry that much lore in comparison to the more recent events. the first few events were like silly banter and getting to know a bit more about the cast.

also changing the event shop from daily pies to a set limit per account was an awful choice it just emphasizes my point earlier of how unstable obtaining pies are in this game.

FULFILLING PROMISES

i think while it was a smart move to list what's gonna be implemented throughout the year, they shouldn't have stated deadlines on when they're doing so.

the following are the things that still aren't implemented yet as of making this post:

new daily chats (expected within february)

friends system (expected within march)

birthday system (more specifically celebrating your bday) (expected within april)

new main story chapter (new chapter expected every 3 months)

if pb were to just say "here's what to expect in 2024" and NOT give specific months, that's fine, but giving these specific months sets an expectation that they would complete it within that timeframe. main story for example is probably the one people have been anticipating the most. by now as of july, if we were to follow the expectation pb gave us, we would currently be on chapter 7, or at the very least chapter 7 would've been released some time this month. we have not even gotten chapter 6 yet. chapter 5 was released in january. it has been 6 months since the last main story update. failing to meet these timeframes will make people upset, because it was mentioned in the announcement that it's 1. a promise (i hope i'm not the only one that takes promises seriously) and 2. in bold yellow text, "what we can realistically expect to see in 2024." the only promises that were fulfilled on-time were the ones in january, the rest have been delayed by at least a month. if you're giving a timeline of what's happening, announce if there's any changes to that timeline, because not doing so will make players believe you were lying to them even though you probably aren't and are instead just falling behind schedule.

i think what hurts more to me is the fact that they aren't publicly communicating these delays. it shouldn't be our responsibility to find out why or when something isn't happening within the timeframe they promised (e.g. by emailing them), it should be up to the devs to communicate that publicly to us. i'm not saying they should overshare what's going on behind the scenes, it can simply just be a simple announcement of "hey, we're very sorry but we're having some technical difficulties with this certain feature and we need more time. here is some compensation in the meantime, thank you for your patience and again, we're very sorry." it's that simple.

FINAL THOUGHTS

i mentioned back in my intro that i feel like this game was released too early purely because the fundamentals of making a bare minimum decent gacha game are just not there. if every patch update has people complaining on what's just recently been added/removed, you're not fully listening to what the audience wants. while i understand pb is a small business, a business is still a business regardless of size and criticism/feedback is necessary especially in a game dev setting.

i've followed this game's news ever since it was teased, which was december of 2022, i've lurked/participated in the fandom (on here at least) ever since september of 2023. i've felt a rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions of "omg this is so great" to "why is this even a feature," hoping that over time the game would get better, but the only thing that's improved was server stability (and even that's still a bit rocky 💀).

a huge part of my stay was just being a lurker in the fandom. i genuinely appreciate all the creatives who fulfill asked prompts of characters, make ocs, fanart, write theories, reactions + many more. i love seeing other people's works/opinions and having just a lively fandom made it all more fun.

but at this point this game is just not for me. i've really only stuck around to read mammon's lore but since main story hasn't been updated in 6 months i'll really only chime back in when there's finally an update. it still amazes me to this day that my patience lasted this long. i think i've covered everything i wanted to cover but my memory is swiss cheese so if i forgot something,,, woops 💀

as for the future of the spreadsheet for those who check back on it, it's still being managed by myself and windy, who has been a huge help since day 1 of creating the build lists and team comps and i honestly can't thank her enough for also enduring this pain of a game with me as we've worked on this spreadsheet together hgjdfgh (luv u bestie 🫶). though it's written in the narrative that both of us will eventually quit updating it entirely if this game persists on not having any signs of improvement. when that day comes i'll make sure to post an announcement about it.

as for myself i'm probably still gonna lurk in the fandom/keep an eye out on game news. i doubt i'll be making any fanart anymore unless if i really have the motivation/boredom for it, but currently i'm revamping the "aesthetics" of this account so nothing's really set in stone. maybe i'll make a few whb rambles here or there if some game news really irks me but for the most part i've already been in the process of moving on to other things.

if you've stuck around this long to read this mess of a post, thank you for sticking around and have a cookie, you deserve it 🫴🍪

[makeste]

but I just feel too tired to be fighting

this is a follow-up post to what I said in my recap the other day about this arc being the Deku Angst arc, as opposed to the Villain Hunt arc or the Deku SIXQUIRKS Exhibition arc. I feel like the fandom discussion tends to focus on the flashier parts of the chapters -- the sexy villains and the new quirk reveals and the Shindous -- each week, and so the quieter emotional beats sometimes get overlooked, especially since the character arc here is playing out in little bits and pieces over time rather than all at once.

this has always been a very reactionary fandom, and there’s a tendency to judge the chapters week to week without ever going back to look at how they all fit into the big picture. so I figured I would try to attempt that, and basically go chapter by chapter here to look at what exactly Horikoshi is setting up and how it all fits together.

so let’s start with the end of chapter 306, which is when the arc officially kicks off. specifically with the very last page:

this is imo one of the best pages Horikoshi has ever drawn. I got the sense that this was a scene he’d had in his mind’s eye for quite a long time, and that he was excited to finally get to this part of the story. it’s extremely effective as both a chapter-ender, and an arc-opener. like, look at this:

it establishes the initial premise of the new arc -- the world is in chaos, and Deku is now seemingly on his own

it leaves the readers with a number of questions. why did Deku leave U.A.?? is he really on his own now?? why does he look so beat-up and exhausted?? what is he up to?? what is the world like now that all these villains have been unleashed and the heroes have been decimated?? and most importantly of all, what the fuck is going to happen next??

it pays homage to some of Horikoshi’s comic book influences -- Batman in particular

it dramatically hits us with that “THE FINAL ACT BEGINS” and lets us know that shit is getting real now

that’s some good shit. so much so that I think people tended to overlook the other notable thing about this page amidst all of the initial excitement and discussion and speculation about where the series was headed. and that is the fact that the final panel in this chapter is NOT the panel of Deku standing above the city. the very last panel, the one that this chapter actually ends on, is instead the close-up of Deku’s face. his face, which is covered in shadow; and his eyes, which have dark circles under them and are prominently missing the usual flecks of light that give him his signature “sunny optimistic shounen protagonist” look.

not to mention this last line here, which is a call back to the very first time we saw the 14-year-old Deku way back in chapter one.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Horikoshi chose to throw this reference in. nor is it a coincidence that THIS is the scene he actually chose to end the chapter on. what this does is show us the drastic shift in Deku’s emotional state of mind, and his attitude towards being a hero. he’s gone from being thrilled and excited to being jaded and exhausted. he’s matured, but at a great cost. it’s always been his dream to be a hero, but “be careful what you wish for” is a popular adage for a reason. and right now he looks the furthest thing from happy.

and this is the emotional beat that Horikoshi chooses to end the chapter on. this is the panel that closes out the War arc, and begins the final act. to me the message could not be clearer -- this arc will be about the exploration of Deku’s character, and his struggle as he tries to live up to the expectations that have been placed on him as the Last Holder of OFA and quite possibly the World’s Only Hope.

it’s a character arc that builds on a lot of the things we’ve already learned about Deku over the course of the series, such as the fact that he is reckless, and that he focuses on others often at the expense of himself. but more importantly, it’s an arc that finally expands on the dark side of what has up until now been a net positive for Deku -- the power of OFA. up until this point, despite its ups and downs, it’s been a boon for Deku overall and has allowed him to pursue his dream. but now we’re finally reaching the point where the monkey’s paw part of the OFA blessing/curse finally starts to come into play. OFA gives Deku more power than he could have ever dreamed of, but it also comes with a built-in destiny that he can’t opt out of whether he likes it or not. AFO is on the loose and out there trying to destroy the world. and now everyone has pinned their hopes on this sixteen-year-old kid, and the question of whether or not the sixteen-year-old kid is ready is apparently not one that anyone feels inclined to ask (possibly because they’re afraid that the answer might be “no”).

he doesn’t have a choice in the matter. he has to do it, because there’s no one else who can. that’s the kind of pressure that is on Deku now.

and on that note, we begin the Deku Angst arc.

chapter 307

this in hindsight was mostly just a set-up chapter to better establish the current state of the BnHA world at large (spoilers: it’s not good), while also providing an answer for one of the big initial questions of the arc -- namely, “what happened to all of those villains that AFO released from Tartarus?” these are important things to touch on, but the pacing could definitely have been better, and the bulk of the chapter was dedicated to providing fanservice to all of the Shindou fans who spammed the most recent popularity poll (which, whatever lol). anyway, so this was the sole chapter thus far with absolutely no Deku development. thankfully the arc picks up from there.

chapter 308

on to the next one! this was the one and only chapter thus far which I think actually qualifies as an “exhibition fight.” this was definitely all about showing off Deku’s current powerset, as well as introducing us to another of the SIXQUIRKS. however, there was Deku development here as well, most notably in this scene:

this is the scene that got a lot of people speculating that this arc was going to focus on Deku hunting down all of the old villains. but I think people got so caught up in that speculation that they overlooked what this scene tells us about Deku’s mindset. and yes, there is new information being revealed here, and it’s not just a rehash of the stuff we already knew. like yes, we know that Deku was shaken up by the recent encounters with Dabi and Tomura, and we know that made him start questioning why villains become villains in the first place, and all that good stuff, and that’s great. however, there are two additional important things that this scene helps establish for us.

the upcoming battle with TomurAFO is weighing heavily on Deku’s mind. this is something that will become a recurring theme in this arc. Deku is thinking about this constantly. the question of what to do when he finally encounters TomurAFO again is knocking incessantly at the back of his mind, and this won’t be the last time it comes up.

Deku is using these villain encounters as test runs. can Tomura be redeemed?? is he just being stupid and naïve?? or is this really something worth attempting?? the interesting thing about this is that Deku’s resolve to save people is usually so strong and unwavering that it’s more than enough to overcome any doubts that he might have. but this time it seems like the repeated objections posed by the Vestiges and Gran Torino have really gotten to him. it’s possible I’m just reading way too much into things, but to me it really feels like Deku’s recent attempts at Talk no Jutsu were meant to do more than just show his growing awareness that the line between heroes and villains is thinner than he once imagined. they’re also serving as trial runs for the real test, when it finally comes. if he can “save” even a villain like Muscular, there’s hope for him being able to save Tomura as well. and so that moment when Muscular rejects him out of hand is all the more disappointing to him, even if it wasn’t really unexpected. basically it wasn’t the answer that he had been hoping for.

aside from those little notes though, like I said, this was unquestionably an exhibition fight first and foremost. which is fine; we needed to establish where Deku is currently in terms of strength, and it was also just fun to see him kick some ass, ngl. in terms of story purpose this chapter was similar to 219, which showed us how Shouto and Katsuki had powered up after getting their provisional licenses. people who don’t care about those characters might argue that these fights weren’t necessary, but as someone who stans all three characters hard, I would disagree! but anyways, moving on.

chapter 309

in contrast to the previous chapter, this chapter focuses more on establishing Deku’s current mental state, as opposed to his physical state. and this is what we learn:

(1) Deku is ~technically~ being shadowed/accompanied by All Might and the Hawksquad (but in practice he’s avoiding them).

(2) it was Deku’s own decision to leave U.A., and he did it because he didn’t want anyone else getting hurt in order to protect him.

and finally, (3) Deku’s game plan is to stop Tomura and All for One before they reach full power.

this last part is very important, because it means there’s a countdown in effect. as far as Deku is concerned, there’s only a finite amount of time before TomurAFO becomes unstoppable. which means that he’s not only under “gotta get stronger” pressure, but time pressure as well. he doesn’t have the luxury of taking his time and training in safety. he’s being rushed now; this is do-or-die.

this chapter is also the first in this arc in which we get to see Deku’s expressions without the hood covering up his face, and what we see is very telling. as previously stated, the light is gone from Deku’s eyes. he keeps his expressions very neutral, and the only time we even see a hint of a smile is when he hugs his mom in the flashback, and it’s clear from the dialogue (“it’s okay, I’ll come home to you”) that he’s doing it for her sake in order to comfort her.

but aside from that, this is very much not the Deku we’ve grown accustomed to. this is the chapter that really establishes his current mental state imo. above all else, he’s afraid that more people will get hurt because of him, and so he’s distancing himself from everyone around him. and he’s also morbidly preoccupied with the inevitability of having to face TomurAFO again, and soon. the chapter ends on the flashback of Gran giving him his cape, and telling Deku that “killing can be another way to save someone.” there’s a lot on this kid’s mind, to say the least.

chapter 310

this chapter opens with a gang of civilians who are trying to open fire on a nice fox lady whose only crime was walking around in the rain at night. Deku intervenes to save her, and it’s the first time in this arc that we see anything close to the “old” Deku, who just wanted to save people with a smile.

but it’s bittersweet, because all the lady can talk about is how scared she was, and how horrible everything is right now. and so Deku, who feels responsible in a lot of ways for everything that’s happened, just feels that much more pressure to somehow make things right again.

there’s also this extra throwaway line which is especially heartbreaking:

“I can’t afford to be around anyone.” fucking ouch. just reinforcing once more how incredibly isolated Deku is right now -- not by choice, but because he feels like it’s not safe to let anyone else get close to him. and so he’s out here running around this dystopian cityscape in the middle of the night in the pouring rain all on his own, and neglecting himself to the point where All Might practically has to force a bento on him.

but does he complain? of course not. because his focus is never on himself. instead, when he settles down to eat, his thoughts immediately drift back to, guess who...

it’s that time pressure once again. “unless I draw out One for All’s full power, I can’t stop any of this.” it’s just nonstop, I have to get stronger, I’m running out of time, I have to do better, and constantly thinking about that inevitable confrontation.

Deku is a thinker, you guys. and when left to his own devices he will overthink, every time. his mind will run in endless loops while he mentally works his way through all of the possibilities. and that’s one of his greatest strengths, don’t get me wrong, but at a time like this it’s also one of his greatest weaknesses. it’s just so fucking easy for him to get stuck in his own head, in his endless rambling thoughts and analyses. and without anyone else there to help distract him, or help him focus, he’s become fixated on his mission, and it’s slowly consuming him.

this, incidentally, is also the chapter in which we finally see Two and Three’s faces, and learn why Two in particular is so reluctant to lend his power to Deku. he appears to be the lone holdout at this point, so stay tuned on that, because I don’t doubt this will wind up being crucial to Deku’s future development, however it winds up playing out.

chapter 311

this chapter flips back to the Hawksquad for the first half, so we get a brief respite from the ongoing Dekuangst. right before we switch back though, we do get confirmation of something we had pretty much already guessed:

like, that much was already apparent based on what we’d seen (the bags under his eyes; the fact that he refused to sit still in any one place for very long even at night), but it’s always nice to get the official confirmation so that people can’t dispute it lol. so yeah, Deku isn’t sleeping much. and not eating much either, if all he’s getting is the occasional bento from Dadmight. so basically not taking care of himself at all, huge shocker there. but this is something that’s important enough to the story that Horikoshi took the time to point it out in the dialogue, in addition to all of the visual clues we’d already gotten.

and just in case we needed to drive that point in any further, this chapter ends with the appearance of Lady Nagant! like yeah, no shit Deku isn’t getting much sleep, what with him having to fend off racist civilians and hired assassins every five fucking minutes. smdh. can he live??

chapter 312

so this is the chapter that properly introduces Lady Nagant, who maaaay or may not be one of the primary antagonists of this arc?? like, it’s really unclear right now tbh, but she gets hyped up by Hawks and AFO, and has a flashback and a mysterious past and a weird trump card (where did you go, Overhaul) and all that good shit, so yeah? one can hope at any rate.

but anyway. so to his credit, Deku’s first thought is to retreat, but he quickly abandons that plan once he figures out Nagant’s location. this is played off like a logical strategic decision at first, but the subsequent chapter quickly makes it clear that Deku’s decision to take the fight to Nagant is less rational than he might have you think.

chapter 313

so yeah. last but not least, the most recent chapter, in which Deku’s real reason for targeting Lady soon becomes apparent:

what’s more, it quickly becomes clear that he miscalculated and probably would have been better off following Hawks’s advice, seeing as he promptly gets himself shot, and subsequently realizes that AFO gave Nagant an extra quirk, something he hadn’t taken into account. but instead of cutting his losses and running at this point, he doubles down instead and not only breaks out Smokescreen, but also the Third’s quirk which he has never even used before.

it’s worth noting that both En and the Third start telling him to chill at this point, and warn him that what he’s attempting is too dangerous. but tbh if they were expecting him to listen, they haven’t been reading the same arc I’ve been reading. once again, Horikoshi makes it clear that Deku has one thing and one thing only on his mind right now.

of course. once again it all comes back to this. hunt down AFO. it doesn’t matter that he’s exhausted. it doesn’t matter that he’s just been shot twice. it doesn’t matter that Hawks, despite knowing what Deku was capable of with his OFA abilities, specifically warned him away from this one person only. it doesn’t matter that even the Vestiges are trying to tell him you’re going too fast and you’re trying to do too much and it’s too dangerous.

he just doesn’t care. long story short, the only thing that matters to Deku right now is tracking down and defeating TomurAFO. and as the person who knows him best once so aptly put it, “he doesn’t take himself into account.” and therein lies the major challenge of this arc.

and so this is where we’re currently at now. and this has been a very long post, but if nothing else, I hope I was able to get this one point across: there is absolutely no way that Deku will be able to defeat TomurAFO as he is now. not a chance in hell. somehow he’s managed the uncommon feat of waging a war of attrition against himself, which is really quite an accomplishment. he’s not taking care of himself, and he’s refusing to listen to sound advice from the people surrounding him, and is trying to skip ahead to the final boss battle before he’s ready, because the guilt and pressure from feeling responsible for the current situation are eating him up. the only way that the world can go back to normal is if he can defeat AFO; therefore he has to do it as soon as possible, because time is running out and everyone is counting on him. this is who Deku is. and this is what inevitably happens when his saving mentality is taken to extremes, and left unchecked.

anyway so to wrap up this post now, I do think this arc is a lot more cohesive than it’s gotten credit for thus far, and Deku is the glue holding it all together. I for one am loving the exploration of his character and all the subtle little angsty touches as we build up to the big moment, whenever it finally comes. just keep in mind though that if his decisions right now seem reckless and short-sighted, it’s because they’re supposed to seem that way, because Deku is not in a good mental state right now. the cracks are finally showing in our perfect protagonist, just like everyone has been wanting this whole time. he is just a kid. he is doing his best. he is trying far too hard to do his best, and it is hurting him so badly, but he doesn’t even realize. this arc is not an endorsement of the Angsty Nomad Hero lifestyle, lol. it’s the exact fucking opposite, and I think it’s being wildly misinterpreted with all of the emphasis on “oh look at that, he mastered another quirk with no effort”, as opposed to “oh look at that, he is shutting down emotionally and is a few more missed nights of sleep away from a complete and total breakdown.”

tl;dr the overarching storyline of this arc is all about Deku slowly falling apart due to his trauma from Jakku, and the subsequent pressure that was put on him by the Vestiges with their whole “GUESS WHAT, YOU’RE THE LAST USER OF OFA, THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S ALL ON YOU BUDDY” pep talk. and mark my words, things are not going to go according to plan. something is going to go terribly wrong here. whether it’s something happening to All Might, or AFO setting up a trap for him, either way Deku is being set up to fail in a major way. unless of course, someone (or a group of someones) manages to intervene first, and possibly stage an intervention or something. it’s what he needs right now, but idk if Horikoshi is going to make it that easy.

anyway, but in other words, the point of this arc is not to show how much stronger Deku has gotten and how he doesn’t even need his friends anymore. it’s the exact opposite -- the point of this arc is to show that Deku needs his friends now more than ever. that in spite of OFA and all of its mystical trappings and fancy SIXQUIRKS, Deku can’t do this alone. he needs his friends. that’s the core message. and right now, we are at the “I can get by on my own” part of the story. and the part we are all waiting for, but which is coming -- I guarantee it is coming, you guys -- is “the thing is, you don’t have to.”

and that shit is going to slap hard you guys. and I for one can’t wait. but until then, enjoy the angst.

[tetrakys]

Eldarya A New Era - episodes 1 and 2

Let’s start with a brief recap and then my comments at the end.

Not much happens plot-wise, which makes sense since the first chapters are always about exposition and introducing the characters.

Episode 1: 

We wake up in the new Crystal room and are swiftly taken by Huang Hua to the infirmary, we are perfectly healthy and have a chance to meet one of our old friends. Since we have been revered as a deity for the past 7 year sin the Crystal, Huang Hua has to make an announcement to the whole HQ saying that we are back into the living world, then we can finally explore HQ, meet old and new friends, get a new outfit and later attend a party in our honour. This is pretty much the plot of the first episode. 

Episode 2:

In the second we have the chance of picking a Guard to belong to, Huang offered the Light one but Erika refuses because she doesn’t feel ready yet. We also get a new sword that Jamon has created for us and we can train a bit with him, afterwards we join a mission and go the forest. Once there we realise there is something wrong, as if some areas looked corrupted. We find a hurt companion and a very human shotgun bullet next to it and an evil-looking companion who attacks us causing us to end our very first mission at the infirmary, as usual. Once we are back on our feet we talk to Huang Hua about the bullet and realise that there is something she is hiding from us, then we help Ewe making a potion to save the companion. The companion got attached to us so we decide to adopt it.

Now a bit of info dump about the characters:

Huag Hua is the new head of the guard since Miiko went back to her family obligations. She is no longer the Phoenix apprentice although we don’t know why yet, she is in a romantic committed relationship with Ewelein who is still the head of the infirmary and member of the Light Guard. 

Aleja and Sonse got married and left, Colaja joined them and she and Jamon broke up since he stayed. He was sad for a bit but then got over it. Kero left when most people left no one knows where he is. Ezarel left with Twilda and Mary Anne to try to make a new life for themselves. Memoria disappeared and no one knows what happened to it and all the dragon spirits. Karuto is still he chef and he became much nicer in time, also is food much better after fruits and vegetables in Eldarya became edible. There is speculation about his relationship with Feng Zifu who is still very polite but much older looking, however nothing confirmed yet.

Huang Chu is the new head of the Absynth Guard, she looks and acts kinda strict and matter-of-factly but she is also surprisingly open-minded, she encourages Erika to think with her own head and never blindly accept anyone’s order not even her own. She doesn’t get along with Mathieu at all.

Koori is a kitsune member of the Absynth Guard, she is funny, provocative and flirty. She wants to become friend with Erika and even flirts a bit. We see her both flirting with and mercilessly teasing Mathieu, not sure if she’s actually hitting on him or playing him, but this seems to be her normal behaviour. 

Chrome is now the head of the Shadow Guard, he and Karenn are still together and while he is the official head it seems that she is his boss as usual so hierarchy is a bit blurry. The both became more mature in time, she is less into gossip and he went through a rough self-blaming patch, but he looks pretty happy right now, eating a lot and constantly making lame jokes, and she seems to have become a real fighter (everyone is recommending to never train with her).

Adalric is a sylph, Erika comments he kinda looks like a genie. He has constantly his head in the clouds forgetting all the most trivial tasks, he talks with the stars and the wind apparently.

Ophelia is this little girl we see for just a moment, we feel that she has the same aura as the Oracle, we hug her but she just smile and leaves. We are told she showed up after the White Sacrifice and no one actually knows anything about her, not even if she sleeps and eats and where. 

Mathieu is a human who stumbled in a mushroom cricle about one year ago, he was sort of a recluse with no friends nor family on Earth, only thinking about fantasy and adventure, so he is very happy to be in Eldarya and couldn’t care less about going back to Earth. To his dismay the test assigned him to the Absynth Guard and he’s constantly hoping to be reassigned to the Obsidian instead. He’s the happy-go-lucky type but seems to also have a certain depth that we will hopefully find out.

Nevra is now a member of the Light Guard and Huang Hua’s right hand (he basically got Leiftan’s old job). He looks more severe and it seems that the events of S1 hardened him. He is back to his slutty ways but in episode he admits frivolous relationships don’t bring him happiness. 

Leiftan got out of the Crystal with us but it took longer for him to wake up. He says that he needs to find himself and wants to put distance between him and everyone else, in fact he refuses to rejoin the Guard. When Erika asks him to train her aengel powers he refuses and says that he won’t ever touch a blade again and will never be responsible of further violence. Nevra can’t stand him at the moment because he thinks he is escaping his responsibilities. 

COMMENTS:

Since people liked the expression I’m going to repeat it again, let’s address the elephant in the room first. (Guys “elephant in the room” is a figure of speech, it’s not a real elephant lol).  No one mentioned who is the head of the Obsidian Guard, when Erika tries to ask one time the subject is swiftly changed and people seem to go out of their way to not go there. Everyone, including their grandparents, their cousins, neighbours and the cousins of their neighbours has figured out that the head of Obsidian is Lance, who is name dropped constantly. I know that there are some people who still like to live in denial, kudos to them. BV all but told me that Lance is coming in episode 3 before Christmas, the release pace is like MCL’s so I’m expecting episodes every second Wednesday of the month at this point, but we’ll see.

The situation with Nevra and Leiftan is heavy not gonna lie. I’ve only played the episode with Nevra so far and my heart broke in tiny pieces, but I want to savour the angst and enjoy the ride. I don’t blame either of the two, Leiftan went from traitor to saviour in a matter of what two days? He had not time to think about his choices and properly reflect on himself. I think it’s fair that the writing his giving him a bit of depth as a character now and not just using him for his abs and to kill and save people when needed. So yeah, I approve him going to therapy or whatever is going to do to achieve self-growth. 

Nevra is a bit trickier, he spent one year moping in front of the Crystal every day, then moved on simply out of survival, and he’s well aware that the life he has now brings him no joy so one would think he would jump into Erika’s arms immediately? He is probably still very much hurting about everything that happened and he still has a fight or flight reaction about everything regarding it, his subconscious reaction when he saw Erika must have been DANGERDANGER RUN. Sleep around is easier because he doesn’t care and can’t be hurt again. While I can understand this, I also think it’s pretty cowardly and I would’ve liked to have given the reaction to get mad, to demand him to spend time with us, because yes he hurt but we spent 7 freaking years in a coma and no time has passed for us, the day before we were swearing love to each other and now this coldness. And yes I could’ve chosen angrier options with him instead of being understanding, but then my LoM would’ve dropped. 

So what I think I’m trying to say is that I would like to have the option of getting mad without having devastating consequences on all the relationships. I know that the next episode is called Rage-something so I am hoping Erika will blow up. We are probably going to run into Lance, find out that he’s been forgiven and working with the Guard and go full violent mode. And hopefully she will get mad with the other guys as well. Homegirl needs to unleash since episode 13 AT LEAST.

Also, since Leiftan refused to train her, I’m expecting that Lance will at some point. Sweaty training sessions with a strict instructor who she kinda hates but also kinda thirst for... 😏😏😏 I have expectations now.

My general comment is that I like the writing so far, I see much improvement from the previous season although it’s too early to judge. I loved the shade thrown at Miiko and the Guard test, you can really tell the writer’s thoughts sometimes, he uses Mathieu to tell us what he thinks. 

The one think I didn’t like is that, while I can understand most of the choices and the events of these two episodes, I don’t understand how the writing can justify Erika not looking for Ezarel if she were on her route. No time has passed for her, anyone would go looking for their lover in a situation like this, not just “oh well, he’s gone”. I know he can’t be brought back, but give me a good, logical reason in game. (Also, I hope to never see him and Valkyon as secondary non-datable characters because I would die inside).

About the other characters, I like Koori and Huang Chu, I don’t like Adalric, just personal taste, he seems to be the type of person who would be into yoga and spiritualism and it’s just not me at all lol.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Whats your favorite song at the moment

Hey Nonny!

Ooof Too many, hahhaha! Because I don’t leave home anymore, I’m not looking constantly for new music to add to my Playlist, so mostly it’s stuff that I come across on Tumblr and is living rent-free in my head on repeat, or me digging on my harddrives for a nostalgia kick.... currently, these are the top 5 cycling in my head, no particular order:

(EDIT IT’S NOW TEN. I COULDN’T CHOOSE. LISTEN TO THEM ALL. THEY’RE ALL AMAZING)

(EDIT 2 SORRY IT’S NOW 15!! NONNY I’M SO SORRY. I know no one cares, but I LOVE sharing my Music with people)

(EDIT 3 *SIGH* Now 20. :| HELP. Stopping before I get carried away. No one ever likes my music so I love when people ask me for my songs with genuine interest)

Nathan Evans - The Wellerman (220 Kid X Billen Ted Remix) (flashing images CW in video!) – Got into the original of this one during the sea shanty trend, and then this dance remix came out... those of you who know me well, know that I am HOOKED on remixes, especially dance remixes. So I was so happy about this official one.

The Kiffness - Ievan Polkka ft. Bilal Göregen (Club Remix) – This one I got into because I think, again, the original with the blind man was trending, and then I found this remix artist on YouTube from his remix of The Wellerman, and his is SOOOO good!! I loved this song back in the early noughts when it was popular as “Leek Spin”. But then these young folks had to go and make it amazing again!!

ZHU, partywithray - Came For The Low – (LOTS OF FLASHING LIGHTS IN VIDEO CW!) Thank Falcon And the Winter Soldier for this one! It took me a WEEK to find out what song they’re playing in the club in Episode 3 when Zemo’s dancing, and YAY I found this finally (not the one hour one, sadly, still trying to find the song D+ Marvel used for that one). I LOVE IT. LISTEN TO IT. SO good if you like heavy club beats

Sim Gretina - A Friend Like Me (Electro Swing Remix) – This is SATISFYING. I LOVE IT. Found it years ago after that homemade Aladdin carpet video was going viral, and every time it comes up on my playlist, I replay it like 6 times.

Linkin Park - Numb (80′s Remix) – That tumblr meme song that went around years ago? HERE YOU ARE!!! :D This is TOO SHORT and it’s also on repeat when I listen to it. Y’all, this is what depression feels like when you’re trying to pretend to be happy all the time LOL. It’s a whole MOOD. This one is great to blast in the car and have people confused at you singing at the top of your lungs. Like, “I AM NUMB AND AN EDGELORD BUT READY TO PARTY!!!”.

One Ton - Supersexworld – Okay, this is an OLLLLLLDDD one by a one-hit wonder Canadian band that I stumbled upon recently when I was going through my hard drives to find new stuff to put onto my iPhone. I was OBSESSED with this song when it first came out, forgot about it, and NOW... SHIT I can’t STOP. This one is BLARING when I hear it, and am so happy I found it again. It’s simple, amazing, and AWESOME. LISTEN TO IT. You will love it. Please. It’s got one verse and one chorus over and over, and it’s catchy as hell. It’s on my personal Johnlock playlist :D

Deorro - Rise and Shine – GUYS. This song. Also on my personal Johnlock Playlist, this one is SOMETHING. First heard it in my BodyPump class, I NEEDED it. It’s SO GOOD. Jazzy Club Music??? YES PLEASE! Video is all kinds of amazing? YES PLEASE. PLEASE listen to this. I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch (Eiffel 65 Remix) – Is this song a decade old? YES. Has it been on my iPod since it first came out? FUCK YES. Y’all, Eiffel 65 is SO underrated for their remixes. This is one of their best remixes, and it’s the PERFECT walking song. YES I look like an idiot walking to it, but I love it SO MUCH. It’s better than the original, imho.

Gotye feat. Kimbra - Somebody That I Used To Know (Bastian Van Shield Remix) – LOL I KNOW: sacrilege to remix Gotye, but Y’ALL. This is the DEFINITIVE remix of one of his best songs. Six minutes of pure club beats, and just... ANOTHER perfect walking song that you need to SCREAM at the top of your lungs. Also on my personal Playlist, John POV, that I will share eventually.... it makes sense in the song order on the list, I promise LOL)

Tee Lopes - Marble Zone '12 – Tee Lopes is the official composer for Sonic Mania, hired because of all his AMAZING Classic Sonic remixes he did as a hobby on his YouTube channel. This one has a Tango flavour, and it’s SO good and not long enough. There’s an extended version here. Also love his Flying Battery and Ice Cap remixes. If you love video game music remixes like I do, check out his YT channel. There’s a TONNE there and it’s GREAT music to write to.

Aaron Smith - Dancin’ (KRONO Remix) – I dunno where I first heard this one, but I LOVE it. It’s like trancey club music. It’s beautiful, and WORTH a listen.

Pet Shop Boys - I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind Of Thing [Extended Nude Mix] – Ooooof this one has been on my faves for a LONG time. Originally heard this on the PSB’s album Disco 2, back when their remixes were this good and long and clubby. I miss these so much. If you want a good club beat to thump your car, this is it my friends.

Informätik - A Matter of Time – FUCK ME I love this song. This is the song that made me want to start a Johnlock playlist. I talk more in length about it on this post here, but yeah, I still just.. MM. It’s just so beautiful and is what got me into EBM music in the first place. I listened to this and a lot of their music quite often in college when I was pining over people. Always the pining and never the requited, LOL. I just really love it. 

Pride and Fall - Paragon – GUYS. This one is SO good. Trancey EBM and just, UGHGGHHGHGHHHG It gives me so many feels. I’ve loved this song for SO many years, and just, still has to be on every iPod I own. It’s beautiful, and the lyrics are beautiful and I wish I was as beautiful as this song, LOL. Please listen and enjoy. Best bit is a 3:11 :D <3

Rammstein - Mein Teil (Pet Shop Boys Remix) – GUYS. This is one of the greatest collabs of all time. I love both Rammstein AND Pet Shop Boys, and was SO EXCITED when they remixed this song for the single. This is the better of the two remixes PSB did for them, and YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO IT. PURE CLUB BLISS. This is the PSB in their remixing best!!!! <3 Plus, it’s SUPER WEIRD to hear these angry Germans backing a club beat, I LOVE IT. Also, it’s literally a song about a true story of literally eating a dick, so.... *shrugs*

Pet Shop Boys - Love Etc. (PSB Mix) – Y’ALL. This is 6 minutes of LITERAL dance music BLISS. A fantastic remix of one of my fave songs from the PSB, which is essentially shitting on the materialism of relationships. And I love this one, it’s a great work out and car song. Honestly PLEASE listen to it.

Apoptygma Berzerk - Kathy’s Song (Beborn Beton Remix) – GUYYYYYYYYYsSSSS I love this song so much. The original is much slower, and I discovered Beborn Beton FROM this song (another great artist, check them out). This song is just, a great dance song, and just makes me scream out when I hear it. Full volume, beautiful song, beautiful lyrics. It’s my Android!lock headcanon song, but it is also on my JL Personal Playlist, LOL.

Darude vs. Robert Miles - Children of the Sandstorm – One of the BEST MASHUPS in the world, and I am CERTAIN it is an official one; I was obsessed with mashups when I was in college so I have a TONNE of them, but this one has always been a fave, and I still jam to it over a decade later. Seriously, these songs SEAMLESSLY blend together, it’s fantastic. Classic club and trance? HELLS YES. 

Eminem - Nobody Listen to Techno (Deep Dish Mix) – Another nostalgia hit for me. Is it pointless? Not if I enjoy it!! I LOVE this song. Deep Dish mixes were THE JAM in my college years, and like, this is just 9 minutes of PURE techno with some of his song “Without Me” sampled throughout. I LOVE IT. SO MUCH. This is a banger, and just, if you need music to listen to while driving or writing, this is one for you!!

Rammstein feat. Sharleen Spiteri - Stirb Nicht Vor Mir (Don't Die Before I Do) – And to bring the mood WAYYY down, did you know Rammstein did a love song? A beautiful, moves-me-to-tears love song? Because I did and it’s one of my FAVE songs by them. It’s SO beautiful, and the Till’s harsh voice WORKS for it. It’s gentle and soothing. It’s a German/English duet, and it makes me nearly cry EVERY TIME. Because I imagine John and Sherlock and then I die inside LOL. It’s so beautiful and I listen to this one years after it was released. Look up the translation, it is so beautiful.

AND if you guys happen to like any of these songs, copy the youtube video link and use this :)

Most of these that aren’t silly are on my Johnlock playlist, so do give the latter songs a listen! <3 I’m sorry for adding more than five... I just really love sharing things with you guys I like because I’m so lonely, LOL.

If any of y’all are playing these and trying to pick me up, *finger guns* Let’s go get cake and jam :D

AHH I like when I get asks like this! Sorry I took so long Nonny, but I just kept ADDING to it, as you can see. Had to stop because I could keep going.

[nanami-says]

Part IV (3/5): Chapters 40~44

 Chapter 40

[Mai to Miwa]

“Maki? She’s worthless”

She actually calls her “just a small fry” here. Which imo is more dismissive than just outright derogatory like in the official release.

“An iai technique huh? That’s strange. I have the advantage in terms of reach. She’s probably looking to disarm my cursed tool and create an opening.”

⇒”An iai [technique], huh? On top of that there seems to be some trick to it. With our difference in reach… rather than myself, she’s probably looking(...)”

Not mistranslated per se other than the “there seems to be a trick to it” line, which imo shouldn’t have been simplified to just “that’s strange”. But the original showed Maki’s thought process better.

“She broke it with her leg? Why is she negating her reach advantage.”

⇒ ”She broke it?? With her thigh?? You’re getting rid of your reach advantage here??”

Again, the meaning was all there but some of the characterisation was lost. Miwa sounded so frantic and full of disbelief here, haha.

[After Mei states that Maki should get promoted at least 2 ranks ASAP]

“I agree but her family seems to be getting in the way”

⇒ “I think so too, but you know, the Zen’ins keep getting in the way. It stinks, right”

More casual speech overall in the original, also Gojou’s more colourful language got a cut again.

MM:“Heh… I don’t understand connections not based on money” 

G:“And you’ll always be a cheapskate.”

I get why they went with “cheapskate” here, as the word Gojou originally uses would be accurately translated as “miser”, which’s the kind of word most people would have to check in the dictionary. (I know I had to.) Nevertheless it’s interesting to me how Gojou basically alternates between super casual speech and much less common terms like this one. He seems to like wordplays in general?

“Anyway, I can’t help but notice the video feed around Yuji seems to be a little inconsistent”

⇒ “Leaving that aside, the video around Yuuji keeps on cutting off for a while now, no?”

Again, meaning is there, the characterisation - sort of I suppose? But he was being more casual/straight to the point in the original.

[In reply to Gojou’s question whose side she’s on]

“Whose side? I’m on the side with money, of course. There’s no value in something that can’t be bought since you can’t exchange it for money.”

“Which side? I’m an ally of money, of course. Because there’s no value in things that cannot be exchanged for money. For you see, it cannot be exchanged for money."

I know it sounds like she’s repeating herself but that’s because she actually is. She’s literally saying that there’s no value in something that can’t be turned into money PRECISELY BECAUSE it can’t be turned into money lol. Also, imo “on the side with money” kind of muddled the nuance a bit. Other possible translations for "exchange" include "replace", ”turn into”.

Gojou in reply to above.

“I wonder how much!”

Actually closer to, “[I wonder] how much did you pile up”. The actual phrase is just “just how much did (...) pile up/stock”, so you have to supply the subject by yourself.

“I’m not sure what you guys have planned but Yuji’s different now”

⇒ “I don’t know what you’re scheming but Yuuji won’t be killed so easily anymore”

Again, the basic meaning is there but a lot of subtler nuance got lost.

(jp)

[Explanation on how the school can tell which side exorcised which curses during the competition]

“Talismans are placed on curses released in the area. When a curse is exorcised, the corresponding talisman also disappears. Using cursed energy, we’ve made arrangements for the following -- exorcisms made by the Tokyo school will be indicated with a red flame, while Kyoto’s will be blue. Maki is also participating, so we’ve made sure her exorcisms are marked red as well.”

When I read this for the first time in English, I found this explanation rather unclear. No wonder I did, as it omits vital details such as the original mentioning "recording cursed energy in advance" which imo seems to be pointing to them registering samples of all students' energy.

And then the Maki line adds that since Maki is there too, exorcisms performed by UNRECORDED forces will be marked red as well. And that's why later on the teachers weren't able to immediately discern whether the sudden destruction of curses was done by an outsider or not.

“All those one-on-ones. Did they forget the main objective?”

⇒“(...) Everyone’s waaay too disinterested in the game.”

“Main objective” sounds kinda formal and imo that wasn’t the nuance for the line.

[Nobara to Nishimiya]

“Got down here, you stupid witch!!”

Actually “you shitty witch”. Nanami would be proud ;;

“How dare you hit my sacred face.”

I like their take on this but it’s hilarious in the original because the word she uses literally means “your countenance”, as in you’d normally use it to respectfully refer to someone else’s face, definitely not about your own. And then she adds a “go-” prefix, which further ups the level of reverence haha. 

“A scar on the face can be a good thing for guys. But not for girls.”

Not really a mistranslation, but I love the original wording with its juxtaposition of a scar on the face being likened to an "order" for a man and a "blemish"/"defect" for a woman. It adds so much more depth to the line.

[Nishimiya after she points out how unfair the jujutsu world is towards women compared to men]

“And Mai has to deal with even more discrimination than that”

Actually something closer to ”irrationality”, “unreasonableness”, “unfairness”, “derision”. Discrimination was the translators’ interpretation of that, I suppose.

Chapter 41

[About Inumaki’s technique]

“Cursed speech is words with spirit. Essentially, it’s infusing sound with cursed energy”

...They translated it the other way around (“the spirit of words”) in ch. 33… Needless to say, this is still the same technique and still the very same term being used. I’d be leaning towards the more commonly used translation of “the spirit of language”.

“However if you’re not sure it’s coming… you’ll be in a constant state of unease. Protecting your head is difficult as it is”

⇒ “On the other hand, if you don’t know if it’s coming or not, you’re constantly distracted. Even though protecting the inside of my head is already something I’m not used to doing”

Not really mistranslated but I wanted to propose an alternate translation, especially for the second part.

“Inheriting the Zen’in family cursed technique is reserved for the privileged. Every other jujutsu sorcerer starts at a level much further below. And even within their family, some women aren’t treated equally.”

⇒ “Unless you inherit the Zen'in family's cursed technique, you start out as a sorcerer from a losing position. And for women, some of them are not even allowed to stand on that starting line"

Just an overall different meaning for the whole fragment. After all, it’s not like you can control who will inherit what technique, even if you’re from one of the three big families. Also it was about women being discriminated on a more fundamental level.

“Can someone who thinks that curse Yuji is an ally really understand?”

⇒ “How about you try thinking hard with that head of yours that can even mistake [that] curse for a comrade?”

Written with “Itadori-kun”, read as “[the] curse” - there’s no reason for Nishimiya to call him “Yuji”. Also she actually says 仲間/nakama here, which, as I stated before, I personally prefer to translate as “comrade” in the context of jjk. The official release seems to alternate between “ally” and “friend”, which are rather distant terms imo. I’m not sure either what’s their basis for when they go with “ally” because they also used it when Gojou was talking about raising a future generation of strong and bright comrades in ch. 11 (refer to part II).

[Nobara in response to above]

“Does that mean we have to forgive the unfortunate no matter the circumstances? And if someone is blessed with a fortunate life, do they deserve to be ridiculed?”

⇒ ”So if someone’s unfortunate, they’re free to do whatever they want? Then what? If in turn a person is [more] fortunate, you’re not gonna be satisfied unless you can talk behind their back?”

In the original Nobara speaks in shorter sentences and uses rather simple language, which imo really conveys how angry she is about Nishimiya’s words. It wasn’t really a philosophical conversation. 

“Have any of you ever stopped to consider the person behind the curse you’ve condemned?”

⇒ “And have you people even thought what kind of a person the idiot that you’re trying to curse [from now] is?”

Not “condemn as a curse” but “that you people are cursing”! Huge distinction imo.

“What do I care about whether someone’s perfect or if something’s fair? Is your life just a job?”

⇒ “Are you obliged to stand up to [things like] ‘perfection’ or ‘unfairness’? (...)”

Lit. “where’s the obligation to live up to”. Emphasis mine! Nobara wasn’t saying she doesn’t care whether someone is perfect or not, imo the nuance was more that there’s no need to force yourself to try and meet people’s expectations/standards. 

“Boys versus girls? Give me a break! Just shut the hell up! I love dressing up and being beautiful! I love being strong!”

⇒ “Boys this, girls that? I don’t give a damn! Just do it all by yourselves if you wish! I love myself who dresses up beautifully! I love myself who [always] strives to be strong!”

I know fandom loves the “I love being beautiful! I love being strong” line - it definitely is short and impactful! But I actually really like the nuance that “strive to be/remain strong” has because it implies Nobara’s constantly putting in effort to improve herself and get stronger. Also the nuance of “I love myself who’s all those things [and more]” (emphasis mine) rather than simply “I love being those things”/“I love the act of”, even though to an English speaker the former may sound a bit awkward. 

[Mai saying she can’t contact Mechamaru after his fight]

“It’s not a good sign if he was forced to use his finishing move and this is the end result.”

⇒ “If it’s like that [that we can’t contact him] despite him being forced into a corner to the point of having to use his finishing move, then he’s probably lost”

This was Mai speculating Mechamaru has most likely lost if they can’t contact him despite him having used his special move.

“I need you”

⇒ “If you’re not here, we’re in trouble”

Rather than Mai needing her personally, this was her reiterating Nishimiya’s importance to the team. (Same phrasing as in ch. 35.)

Chapter 42

[About Maki and her family]

Y:“But why wouldn’t they want someone so strong?”

N:“They don’t wanna accept someone they’ve already rejected. They’re stupid that way”

⇒Y: “Wouldn’t a jujutsu family welcome a strong sorcerer with open arms?”

N:“(...) Because they’re stupid/idiots.”

Slightly more informative for Yuuji’s line in the original imo. Let’s not forget that Yuuji’s still super new to the jujutsu world, so he’s not really familiar with its inner workings. Imo this line had such a nuance.

“So we have to win this event. You better put your life on the line!”

Not incorrect as much as it's just so much funnier in the original because she tells him to put enough effort to die one more time lol (emphasis mine).

[Maki to Tokyo team, telling them to focus on the competition rather trying to make her look good]

“Don't’ worry about me”

⇒ “Don’t think about unnecessary stuff”

Imo this showed Maki’s personality better.

[Mai to Maki, in her head]

“You thought you could get the jump on me? While keeping your distance as well?”

⇒ “So what if you’re in my blind spot. Aren’t you dumb to put distance between us”

This was more about it being advantageous for Mai, a gun being her weapon, if Maki gets farther away from her.

“I knew it! Maki has something I don’t”

⇒ “I knew it… Maki has a talent I don’t have”

How a single exclamation mark can completely change the meaning of a whole line. Yes, it is “I knew it” but as in “I understood it”, “I felt it”. It’s not some revelation about the fight itself, it’s the beginning to Mai’s retrospection about herself and Maki and their approaches to life that follows after. Also, it literally says “talent” there, not to mention the line gets repeated word for word at the end of the same chapter for emphasis before the conclusion is given to Mai’s musings. (Gege seems to like this particular trick a lot, huh?)

”Did you hear about the daughter of the Ougi?"

Hmm, I tried googling the phrase with “Ougi” in it just to check if it can have some hidden meaning but found out even Japanese fans weren’t sure about the exact meaning of the word. Probably a name, either of a person or of a place.

[Mai thinking about Maki]

“You were always so carefree. I hated it. You just kept moving fearlessly forward into the future”

⇒ “I hated how you were always boldly pushing your way towards the future as if you had no worries/unease”

Imo a slightly different nuance for this line (which’s just a single sentence). “I hated how” could also be “I hated you for” and other translations for “pushing your way to” include “plunging forward”, “pushing on”. 

(jp)

[About Mai’s cursed technique]

“Unlike creating an object inside a domain, objects created with cursed technique: construction will not disappear after the spell is finished. However, an immense amount of cursed energy is used, which has a harsh effect on the body”

⇒ “Unlike materialisation of an innate domain within the barrier that occurs in ‘domain expansion’, objects once created with Construction Technique will not disappear even after the technique has finished. That’s why(...)”

Ever wondered why domain and domain expansion related stuff is impossible to understand? Well, here’s why. They only left “inside a domain” out of the whole explanation... “Materialisation” was actually “realisation” but I thought the former would be easier to understand. Also it literally says only “realisation of an innate domain” but imo it could be also interpreted as “inner domain and things within in”.

(jp)

“Maki has something I don’t. Kinda like Mechamaru’s Heavenly Restriction but the opposite. You were supposed to be born with a cursed technique but you traded that in for superhuman physical abilities. This skill was shunned by the Zen’in family. And it’s an ability I don’t have.”

⇒ “Maki has a talent I don’t have. (...) A talent which didn’t get appreciated in the Zen’in family and which I didn’t possess”

Like I pointed out earlier, this is the conclusion to Mai’s retrospection about herself and Maki and some of its effect was, in the original, achieved by repeating the line about Maki’s talent that Mai didn’t have, and by further expanding on it here.

Chapter 43

[About Kamo’s attack]

“A trace of blood on the arrow fletching. Like I thought, Kamo’s technique defies physics”

⇒  "The physics defying trajectory [of the arrow] was because of Kamo-san's cursed technique after all"

More informative in the original, I’d say. The arrows themselves are (and look) normal, hence double the wham i suppose?

[Megumi about Kamo’s Blood Manipulation Technique]

“The ability to control whatever touches his blood”

⇒ "The ability to control his own blood and whatever is stained with it" 

Why would they skip the "the blood itself" bit…

[Kamo about Megumi’s Ten Shadows Technique”

“A cursed technique passed down in the Zen’in family”

Just to be clear, it’s actually specified here that it’s “one of the techniques”.

[Kamo about his technique]

“I can manipulate blood beyond its form or motion”

Once again sounds a bit like a more general explanation. “To manipulate blood means (...)”.

[After Megumi calls him out on doping]

“Very good. Although I don’t appreciate the negative connotation”

⇒ “But I’d prefer if you stopped with the vulgar phrasing”

Simpler, more direct language here.

[After Maki’s taken off with Miwa’s sword in tow]

“Mai’s sister is gone. Well, that makes sense. I’m useless without my sword”

⇒ “Mai’s older sister has gone somewhere. Well, it was a correct call as I can’t fight without my sword”

The phrase used here that got translated as “I’m useless” while can indeed mean something similar has the nuance of “to not be useful [in battle]” . So although it’s not incorrect per se, I’m not sure if I’d go with “useless” myself, especially because it comes with tandem with “correct call”/”good decision” wording.  She DOES literally say she’s useless later on though.

“We’re a little disorganized after all”

Not incorrect per se but imo the original line might’ve had the nuance of “we’re not monolithic [as an organisation]”.

“Use this scent and whistle to control it. If you can, make it kill Itadori”

⇒ “This scent and whistle were used to train him [this cursed spirit]. If a chance arises, use it well and kill Itadori”

I’m not sure if this can be interpreted as it being JUST the curse itself that’ll do all the work.

Chapter 44

“- Why does everyone torment mother?

 - Because she’s a broken mistress”

Closer to “dissolute”, I think. Also the word used for “mistress” can also mean “concubine” and “kept woman” but it’s apparently also an old expression for “close female servant”. It’s hard to say which it could have been without more context but it’d actually make a lot of sense if it was the last one, especially given the fact how Kamo is one of the olden jujutsu families, and very traditional at that. 

“Then why do you favour me? Why did you deceive me into becoming a heir”

⇒ “(...)Then why did you take me in and lie about me being a heir”

I may be wrong but it doesn’t sound like they deceived Kamo himself but rather, everyone else. The word used also means “falsify”. “Favour” here is the same word as for “patronage”, btw.

“Then as the heir to the head of the Kamo family(...)”

It’s just “the next head” here, possibly an allusion to his plans for /after/ he becomes the clan head.

[After Kamo praises his growth as a sorcerer]

“Why are you acting all familiar with me?’

⇒ “What’s with this sense of comradeship you keep on showing?”

Not incorrect per se but I found the phrase he used interesting. Also means “fellowship”.

“I intend to kill Yuji Itadori”

“By principal Gakuganji’s order?”

“No, this is my decision.”

⇒ (...) “No, this is my personal/individual judgement.”

Emphasis Gege’s. The word does mean “decision” as well but imo “judgement” (as in “call”) fits better here.

“As a member of the Kamo and the big three families, I believe it is the right decision. You should also understand it. (I must play the part of the heir to the Kamo family)”

⇒ “(...) I consider it a correct call. It’s something you should be able to understand as well. (I must conduct myself as is appropriate for the heir of the Kamo family)

Lit. “think it’s(...)” for the first bit. Imo “you should also understand” could imply that Kamo’s trying to convince Megumi here but in the original it’s more him appealing to the common understanding he feels must already exist between them because of their similar positions within their respective families. Also, wording his inner thoughts as “must play the part” was imo giving off a wrong impression. 

Cont. from above

“You and I are the same”

Not wrong but the original has the connotation of “the same kind”.

“He’s saying some scary stuff”

Skipped “all of sudden" here.

(jp)

“(I’ve never thought of myself as doing the right thing.) Actually, I’m sorry. I don’t care if I’m right or wrong. I only believe in my conscience. I will follow my conscience and save people. If you disagree with that then, let’s agree to curse each other.”

⇒ ”(...) No, I’m sorry, that is incorrect. It’s just that I believe/have faith in my own conscience. I will help/save people the way my conscience tells me. So if you’ve denied that, then there’s nothing left but to curse each other.”

Again, like in ch. 9 (refer to part I), the nuance here was actually that Megumi will save people BASED on his conscience. Here it’s literally “I will save people according to my conscience” (emphasis mine), which imo heavily implies that he will choose which people to save, as had already been indicated in ch. 9 as well. This is a huge distinction from the way he’s been (mis)portrayed in the official release as just wanting to save people because that’s what his conscience says or because he thinks that’s the right thing to do. (That’s Yuuji). Also, the way they phrased it as basically “let’s agree to disagree” was imo way too mild.  And it wasn’t just “if you disagree” but “if you contradict/negate/renounce”.

“A shikigami! It was still around?!”

Not sure but given the context it might’ve meant “so he still had some left” instead.

Cont. on next page

“He used a wounded shikigami as a decoy!”

⇒ “He used a shikigami at the verge of being called off as a decoy!” 

“This uses too much cursed energy, so I can only summon it once”

⇒ “This eats a lot of cursed energy so I can only summon it solo”

Lit. “a shikigami before the release/dissolution” for the first one. Coupled with Megumi’s reply, which was “as a stand alone” instead of “only once”, imo the whole thing meant that Megumi called the frog off intentionally.

[Megumi about the elephant shikigami]

“It only recently surrendered to me.”

⇒ “I’ve only exorcised it very recently”

Seems like they confused “to exorcise” (調伏)  for “to surrender” (降伏)...The word he uses here is the former, it also means “to unwish”!

Btw, “surrender” is actually used later in the manga when Getou’s curse manipulation is discussed in the Gojou’s Past arc (ch. 73).. So to me there definitely seems to be a distinction between those two terms and which techniques they apply to.

[to part iv (4/5)]

[jawritter]

I Kinda Like The Disease....

WattPad Request: If you could do a demon dean smut something kinky, and for the girl use the name Krystal. Or KK please.

Word Count: 1689

Warnings: Smut!, Unproteced Sex, Public Sex, Choking, Hair Pulling, Demon Dean (Yes he has his own warning.) Language, This is pretty much porn with a vague plot lol.

A/N: As always all mistakes are mine, and feedback is appreciated! If you want to be added to my tag list let me know! Hope you guys enjoy this one!!

Pairing: Demon!Dean x OFC Krystal (KK)

Want More? Check out my masterlist?

******MASTERLIST******

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Krystal and Sam had been tracking down the Demon version of Dean for months now, neither of them had gotten any closer to finding him. Dean didn’t want to be found, and Demon or human, if Dean didn’t want to be found, finding him was almost impossible. All those years of hunting, and hiding from shit that wanted to kill you had evidently paid off for him, add a supernatural ability to that, and what you have is a lost cause. 

Krystal couldn’t give up though, if they had a chance of finding and curing Dean, then that’s what she’d do, even if it killed her. 

Her search had taken her to Downtown New Orleans, Louisiana, following a lead by Garth. A man had been murdered at a gas station just outside of New Orleans by a man on the security camera fitting Dean’s description. The only problem was that the same story had been said to have happened in a town just outside of Queens, New York.. 

So that means she and Sam had to split up, and while he didn't like the idea of leaving her alone to look for his brother, she welcomed the silence. 

Sam had become increasingly annoying. Constantly trying to convince her, or himself she thought more than her, that this would all work out and  be alright, that they’d find Dean and together cure him. Then work to get that damn mark off of his arm that started all of this in the first place. 

She didn’t want to hear more “It’s all gonna work out” pep talks though, She wanted results. The rest was just words, and words didn’t mean shit. You could talk all damn day long, but until he was found and he was her Dean again they meant nothing to her.

Krystal had chosen to go to New Orleans because there was word that Crowley had also been seen there, and she was almost willing to bet that where Crowley was, Dean would be to. Sam chose New York because he said it was more “Dean’s Style of a killing.” She disagreed though. They seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

Upon arriving in New Orleans she was almost sure she had the right place. It was Mardi Gras, and this place was currently a Demon’s playground. Insecure little bitches running around nude or almost nude. Adultery, Fornication, Murder, Glutteny, all of your big time players in the deadly sin game were on full display, and Krystal knew that any Demone worth his salt would be here, and wouldn’t pass this up. 

Alas so far besides all that she’d had no luck. So she made her way through the crowded streets in search of her way back to her hotel room. People were packed shoulder to shoulder. Drinking, dancing, waiting on the parade floats to make their way through, It was loud, and disorienting. 

Just as she found her way back onto Canal street. A hand reached out from behind a dark alleyway and grabbed her, pulling her with inhuman strength towards the dark alley. 

“Hello sweetheart.”

Turning her around, and slamming her into the hard brink wall of the building she was between; she came face to face with Dean’s face and the haunting black eyes of a demon. 

He was the same, but so different. His eyes snapped back to the green she loved so much, the one that haunted her dreams at night since he’d left her, the ones she’d wanted to see more than anything. Right now they were right there in front of her, the same, but oh so different. 

He was thinner, his hair was combed over in a way that Dean would have never worn if he were himself. He cast this creepy feeling with him that made her stomach curl, and even though he wore Dean’s signature smirk, it wasn’t her Dean that was standing here before her. Looking at her like she was something to eat.

“I told you and Sammy to stop trailing me, but no, you just had to keep right on at it. Well you found me, now what? Not what you expected?” He said with a mincing chuckle, and for just a moment her blood ran cold.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, and he didn’t miss her apprehension. Tilting his head to the side he looked at her quizzically.

“Aww what's wrong baby girl? Don’t you miss me?” He didn’t give her time to answer before he had his hand wrapped in her hair. Pulling her head to the side, and exposing her neck to him. HIs teeth sinking into her pulse points, drawing  a moan out of her that even she didn’t expect. 

It had been SSSOO long since they were together, and she missed the intimacy that he’d give her if he were her Dean.

Even though he wasn’t her Dean his mouth felt the same against her sink, his hot breath fanning over hers in the night air, creating little bumps to erupt everywhere in his wake.

Arousal polled in her underwear, making her shift her legs uncomfortable. 

“You know what? I think I missed that tight little pussy more than I realized. You want me baby, want me to fuck you right here in the alley. In front of all these people that could catch us? Hmm?

She couldn’t answer, because if she was being honest. She did want him to take her right there, just to feel him inside of her, his skin on her skin, after she thought that it would never happen again. She’d give anything to have him balls deep inside of her right now. 

“KK don’t lie to yourself. You know you missed my dick… It’s right here. All you got to do is tell me you want it, and if you can keep that pretty little mouth shut while I fuck you, you can have it.”

And boy did she, she just for some reason couldn’t make her mouth form words right now.

“You know what I’m gonna take your silence as a yes” He said, snapping reaching down and pulling his belt loose, freeing his already hard cock from his boxers and jeans, forcing her hand to touch him, and she couldn’t stop the moan that fell from her lips at the feel of him in her hand again. Hardening even more under her touch.

“Too close sweetheart. That shits got to go.” 

Pulling the first blade out from nowhere he ripped her jeans right at the crotch, she can’t figure out how he didn’t slice her, but the tip of it just grazed against her throbbing clit as it slipped through her layers. Making them fall open in just the right places. 

The cold night air hitting her soaking folds as the parade music started up. Cajun music floating through the air, along with the sound of screaming drunk people.

Dean looked at the direction of the parade as the first float passed. The blade tucked away again. He put his long finger to his lips, shushing her, letting his eyes flash black for moment to reminder her exactly who she was dealing with, and that it would do her well to keep her fucking mouth shut. 

Without warning he sipped his hand around her throat and squeezed it just enough to make breathing a struggle. Running his other hand over her folds, testing to see if she could take him. When he was satisfied that she would need any prep he smirked at her. Making even more silk slip down her already soaked thighs. 

“Is all that for me KK? Miss me that much baby?” He asked her, his deep rumble almost drowned out by the music and people. “Well let’s not make you wait another minute then.”

Without that he slapped her hand away from his leaking cock and spread her legs with his thick thighs. Slamming his full length into her before she could even get her legs wrapped around him properly. Doing her best to hold onto his shoulders and bite back the screams she wanted to let escape her as he pounded into her cunt at a brutal pace.

Stretching her in a way that she’d missed so much. Hitting the spot deep down inside of her with each hard thrust that only he could hit. One hand still squeezing her throat leaving bruises and marks as he sucked at sensitive skin behind her ear adding to the sensation even more. The other hand holding up her leg to help her balance.

“So fucking tight baby?” He grunted in her ear as his hips started to falter and her world started to spin in combination of her own release and the lack of oxygen. 

“Cum for me Krystal. Now '' He growled as he spilled himself into her, and she did, her walls milking his thick length for all it would give her, his lips meeting hers. Swallowing down her moans and cries as she exploded around him.

When they both came down from their high he let go of her throat and dropped her hard to the ground, tucking himself away before kneeling down next to her. Jerking her panting form up by her hair. Making her look into his black eyes. 

“Now you and Sammy keep to your own damn business, and leave me be…” His lips met hers again in a bruising kiss. “I’ll be seeing you soon, and you better stay ready Krystal, because you never know where I’m going to show up.”

Before she could respond he disappeared. Leaving her laying alone in the dark alley, used and his cum still running down her thighs, leaking out of her. All she had left of him. 

Even though she failed to get him this time. At least she had him one more time before he left again, and couldn't help the anticipation of his return that he’d promised. 

If she had to admit it, she liked the disease maybe a little too….

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Tag List:

@deanwanddamons​​ @imabitch4jensen​​ @rvgrsbrns​​ @bi-danvers0​​ @onethirstyunicorn​​ @i-love-superhero​​ @akshi8278​ @alanegaming​

[talpup]

Erase the Shadow: 15

So I got what I consider good news from my Doctor today.  He wants to make a case study of me.  Yes, I might being a boring introvert that might one day be a bionic woman with all my joints replaced; but at least doctors find me interesting.  LOL.  The study might not mean much for me directly; but it might help other doctors better understand and treat patients with both hEDS and RA, and other illnesses caused by what I call the two big bads. Considering I’ve seen doctors who literally had to look up what hEDS is, this is something I see as a BIG win.  So here I am wanting to celebrate with you all but updating my three main fics.  Apologies to Erase the Shadow readers, I don’t have a lot for you; I promise I’m not drawing out the AizawaxReaderxMic smut scene to tease.  Anyway, here you all go.  I hope these updates can share a portion of my happiness with you.

Summary: Despite sharing dreams with Teris for as long as he can remember, Aizawa Shouta never believed in soulmates.  That was until he met Teris in the real world on his first day at UA.  Trouble is, Teris doesn’t know anything about their shared dreams.  And the one time Shouta tried to tell her, he nearly lost her completely.

Five years after graduating from UA, Shouta still believes Teris is his soulmate.  But things have only gotten worse.  Teris moved to another town shortly after graduation.  And now she’s dating his best friend Yamada Hizashi.

Please remember, this fic is rated explicit and has warnings of sex, violence, and other possible triggers.

***If you prefer reading off AO3 here’s the link for that: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22027552/chapters/55634086

If you enjoyed reading this at all please comment and let me know. Since I post for free, think of it as nice way of leaving a tip.  And since comments are the only thing that encourages me to keep editing and posting, it’s also a benefit for you.

Thank you to those who have left hearts.  And a VERY special thank you to those who have recently left comments or re-blogged. They REALLY mean a lot.

As always, an extra special thank you to @inorganicone2230 for their encouragement and friendship.  Also for them helping plot bunny this story out and proofreading most of this chapter before its posting.  This fic was my personal guilty pleasure, and without them never be getting posted.

15.1

As many times as Shouta had been, and even stayed over at Hizashi's, he had never been in the man’s bedroom.  Where once he may have looked about the space in interest, right now his attention was solely focused on Teris.

Hizashi was kissing her, the two standing at the foot of the bed.

His best friend pulled away from the love of his life and gave him an impish, knowing smirk.

“So you decided to stay and join us.  Come on in, Shou.  Don’t be shy. We’re all friends here.  Aren’t we, Baby?”  Hizashi turned back to Teris, licking at her lips.

“Are you sure you’re comfortable with this?”  Shouta asked, eyes on Teris.

“I wouldn’t have invited you in here if I weren’t.”  Hizashi grinned through gritted teeth.

Shouta's gaze flicked to Hizashi.  “I wasn’t talking to you.”  He looked back at Teris.  “Are you alright with this?”

“Of course she is.”

“Shut up and let her answer.”

“Wow!” Hizashi blinked.  “You’re making me start to wonder about this myself, Shou.  Here I am graciously giving you both what you want and what thanks do I get?  You snap at me.”

Shouta stepped toward the other man, bristling.  “Giving?  Teris isn’t yours to give. She’s her own person.  And if you really loved her you wouldn’t be--”

Shouta stopped and exhaled, releasing his building anger.

It was clear that Hizashi didn’t love her.  If he did he wouldn’t be offering to share her like this.  If he and Teris were together Shouta never would have so much as consider such a thing as this. But he and Teris weren’t together.  And if she stayed with Hizashi even after their feelings for each other had been made clear, who knew how long it would be before they did get together.

Hizashi’s hands tightened around Teris’ waist.  “You have no idea what real love is and what I would do for it.”

Shouta stared at the floor, afraid he had ruined this chance.  “I just want to make sure Teris is okay with this.”

Hizashi stepped back from her.  “Well, Babe?  Spotlight’s on you.  You’re center stage with two guys watching and wanting.  What’ll it be, Ris Wren? Will you let us make you sing?  Let me give you what you want?  And don’t pretend you don’t want him.  I saw that near kiss in front of our building.”

Shouta's head snapped up.

Teris’ eyes widened.  “Zashi… I--”

Hizashi held up a hand and stepped back to her.  “No need to say anything, Babe. Scratch that.  Tell, Shou, that you want this and let us please you. I promise we’ll give you the ride of you life, Sweet One. Well,” he chuckled, lifting a shrugging shoulder, “I will.  I can’t vouch for Shouta.”

“Zashi!”

Hizashi smiled, glad to have lightened the mood enough to get an embarrassed scolding out of her.

“Well, I did hype him pretty good calling him a beast an’ all.  Now it’s up to Shou to live up to it.”  Hizashi said, still clinging to the small hope that his friend would be so terrible that Teris would forget all about him.

Shouta swallowed, Adam’s apple bobbing.

Now that Hizashi mentioned it, Shouta wondered if he would be able to please her.  He had watched Teris please herself enough times in their dreams that he knew what it took to get her off; but watching and doing were two very different things.

If he couldn’t even kiss her a third time without smacking his face into hers, what blunders would he make having actual, real life sex for the first time?  He didn’t want to screw this up.

It was bad enough that their first time together would include Hizashi. But he still wanted it to be special.  Memorable.  Well if he messed up and made a total fool of himself it would certainly be that.

Hizashi pressed up against her. “Gonna need an answer, Baby.  What’ll it be?”  His lips grazed up the line of her neck.  “Are you gonna let me do this for ya?  Or are you gonna keep on feeling guilty about wantin’ Shouta?  The secret's out, Ris.  And here I am, being understanding an’ offering you a chance at what you want.”

“Zashi, I’m--”

He gripped her hips and pressed his thigh between her legs. “Don’t say you’re sorry, Baby. We’re way passed that. Just give me an honest answer.  Do you wanna fuck Shouta?”

Teris wanted so much more with Shouta that just sex.  She wanted to be with him.  But she was with Hizashi.  And Hizashi constantly proved himself to be an amazing, wonderful, near perfect boyfriend that she felt stupid and terrible for even thinking about his best friend.

She looked at Hizashi mournfully.  “Yes.”

Hizashi cupped her face, thumb wiping away the lone tear that had fallen from its banks.  “It’s okay, Ris Wren.  You deserve to be happy.”

I just wish that I alone was enough to make you happy, he thought.

“You did good, Babe.”  He kissed the heated apple of her cheek and turned to Shouta.  “Answer enough for you?”

Shouta nodded.

“Then get over here and let’s rock my girls world.”

Hizashi’s cock stirred in his pants while he watched Shouta and Teris kiss. Much as he didn’t like Shouta touching his girl like that, he couldn’t help but find the image a bit hot.

The way Shouta made his girl mewl and moan.  The way Teris’ body squirmed and tried to press even closer into Shouta's.  This was how she looked with him.  And it was a beautiful, seductive sight.

Hizashi pressed up behind her, grinding his half hard cock against her ass. The friction and feel of her sent him to straining at full mast in an instant.

“Fuck, Baby.  You look so good kissing Shou like that.”  He pulled her hips back against him.  “Bet you’d look even better with him kissin’ that pretty pussy of yours.”

A low, hungry rumble sounded from Shouta's chest.

“You like that idea, do you, Shou?”

“Yes.” Shouta answered his friend, sandwiching Teris’ body between his and Hizashi's.

Teris gasped.

Shouta's teeth grazed her neck and sunk in, lips sealing over to suck.

Her head fell back against Hizashi's chest.

Hizashi tilted her chin up, licking and kissing at her lips.  “You wanna let Shouta see how good you taste, Baby?  Hear just how well you can sing?”

Just the thought of Hizashi's words made Shouta press his aching cock against her.

Teris’ nails dug into Shouta's clothed shoulder.

“Yes.” She said in response to Hizashi's question and Shouta's action.

“Good girl.”  Hizashi gave her another kiss.  His eyes met Shouta's over her shoulder.

After years of friendship, Shouta understood Hizashi’s silent instruction.

The two men moved as one.

Shouta tugged up her shirt.

Hizashi undid her jeans.

Kissing her again, Shouta's hand wrapped around to the closure of her bra.

Hizashi pulled down her pants and panties in one fell swoop.

Teris squealed.

“I won.”  Hizashi declared.

“It wasn’t a game.”  Shouta frowned.

“Only loser's claim that, Shou.”

“Zashi.” Teris chided.

“What? Life’s a game, Babe. One I fully intend on winning.  Especially when it’s gotta do with my girl.”  He smirked at his friend. “You need some help with that, Shou?”

“Ha!” Shouta barked in victory, his fingers finally successful in unhooking Teris’ bra.

Hizashi raised an eyebrow.

Shouta ducked his head, cursing the small hook and eyes.

He should've figured there was a reason why the boys back in UA talked about practicing undoing girls bras.  He was a grown fucking man.  He should be able to smoothly do these things.  Or at least not act like winning the struggle with the damned thing was such an achievement.

“If your that excited about getting off her bra, just wait till you actually get her off.”  Hizashi teased.

Shouta felt the heat of his blush reach his ears.

“I find it refreshing.”  Teris said, blushing just as deeply as Shouta.

She almost called it cute, but thought better of it.  Instead she swallowed her own nerves and sought to take Shouta's mind off the minor fumbling.

Shouta's head lifted.  He swallowed, watching the straps of the bra slide down Teris’ arm.

Teris took in a fortifying breath.  Even though they had come this far and this was the last article of clothing, it still felt like a protecting piece.

What if Shouta didn’t like what he saw?  What if he took one look at her and changed his mind?  There were far prettier women.  Delphin alone was--

“You’re… beautiful.”  Shouta breathed, dark eyes taking in her uncovered breasts.

Shit, Shouta.  Talk to the woman, not her tits, he silently scolded.

He forced his gaze to meet hers.  “You’re beautiful, Teris.”

“Why don’t you step back and get a proper look, Shou.”  Hizashi suggested.

Shouta did exactly that, sucking in a breath at Teris’ exposed lower half. How had he forgotten Hizashi had taken her bottoms off?

“My girl’s really pretty, isn’t she?”

“Perfect.” Shouta muttered, eyes pulling over her.

Embarrassed, Teris moved to cover herself with her hands.

“Nope. No covering yourself up, Baby.”

Hizashi stepped toward her, hand reaching for her arm; but before he reached her, Shouta clasped her hand.

“Don’t hide yourself.  Please.”  Shouta's other hand lifted.  “You’re so beautiful, Teris.”

At the last moment, he lost his nerve.  His lifting hand lifting further to cup her face instead of her breast.  He kissed her, groaning when she wrapped her arms around his neck, bare chest pressing into his covered one.

Wonderful as it was, it wasn’t enough.  He needed to feel her.

Shouta pulled back and tore his shirt off over his head, dropping it blindly to the floor.

He was pressed back against her in an instant, his mouth and hands on her.  His lips left hers and trail a line down her neck to her chest.  Pulling off her just a fraction, Shouta's eyes opened and lifted to hers. The line of his lips twitched marginally upward when he found her staring down at him.

Mouth right in front of a pert nipple, Shouta blew a cool, teasing breath. His eyes flicked back down, watching the little bud harden further. He lightly rubbed the stubble of his chin over the dark peak, gauging her response.

Teris tugged at his hair, back instinctively arching. “Shou…”

Shouta hummed, loving the feel of her hips dancing beneath his hands.  He took her nipple into his mouth, tongue flicking and rolling against it.

“Shou!” Teris breathed.

Shouta pulled off her, standing back to his full height.  His mouth once again sought hers.  Arms wrapped around her, he lifted her into the air.

Teris squeaked, legs wrapping around his waist.

Hizashi watched his best friend lay his girlfriend out on the bed.

A wave of feral jealousy rushed through him.  He wanted to pull Shouta off her.  To yell and kick him out.  But as he watched Teris kiss and touch Shouta in return, he was reminded of why he was doing this.

He would lose Teris to Shouta if he didn’t share her; and what he said about games and winning had been true.  Love was the greatest, most satisfying game life had to offer.  And now that he had won and claimed his long time love, he wasn’t about to lose her.  He would do anything to keep her.  Even if it meant sharing her with Shouta.

Shaking away his possessiveness, Hizashi pulled off his shirt and leapt into bed.

He was Yamada Hizashi.  UA teacher.  Voice Hero.  Star Radio Host, DJ and Emcee extraordinaire.  He had five older sisters.  He’d seen all sorts of lingerie drip drying in the bathroom long before Shouta even knew what a bra was. He knew all about women.  More than that, after three years with Teris, he knew all about her.  He knew all her spots and what treatment to give them to made her sing any tune he wished. Shouta couldn’t outshine him.  Aizawa had nothing on him.

He sat back against the headboard, pulling Teris up and back against him.  “Shouta and I are gonna show you a real good time, Babe.  But first, you’re gonna let him have a taste.  Yeah.”

“Zashi…” Teris squirmed in his arms.

Lips against her ear, Hizashi bucked his erection against her ass. “Come on, Baby.  Open those pretty legs and let Shouta show you what he can do.”

Hizashi's sharp green eyes locked on his friend in challenge.  He hooked his legs over Teris’ and pulled them open.

Shouta's teeth pressed together at the sudden discomfort in Teris.  This wasn’t how he wanted his first, or any time with his Love to be.

A bit of nervousness and uncertainty was to be expected with anything new; but discomfort, that was unacceptable.

“Let her legs go, Yamada.  ...Please.”

Hizashi didn’t miss the shiver that went up Teris’ spine.  Though he couldn’t say whether it was from the deep, gravel of Shouta’s voice, or the order he gave before he remembered his place.  Possibly it was both.

Hizashi's grin tightened, but he slowly unhooked his legs from Teris’.

Shouta was heartened and relieved when she didn’t snap her legs closed.

Instead Teris relaxed, stretching them out on either side of Shouta’s kneeling frame.

Hizashi nuzzled her neck, and Teris relaxed further, leaning back into him and tilting her head to the side.

Hizashi's full grinned returned at that.  He shot Shouta a look, as if to remark at how good and compliant his girl was.

Shouta watched the two a moment.

This was the first time he had ever found the sight more stirring than upsetting.  He still didn’t like Hizashi's hands and mouth on her; but being involved and able to touch and kiss her himself certainly eased the boiling jealousy.

The tips of Shouta's fingers run up her calf.

Teris jerk, goosebumps prickling her skin.

“Ticklish.” Shouta smirked, finger trailing down and wrapping around her ankle.

“Oh, yeah!”  Hizashi beamed, lifting off of her neck.  “My girl likes a firm touch.  She even likes it rough and nasty.”  He grabbed her hair and tugged her head back.  “Don’t ya, Baby?”

“Zashi…” Teris glanced at Shouta and tried to her face in Hizashi neck.

“Aw, Baby!  Don’t be embarrassed!”  Hizashi kissed her head and pet her hair.  “Maybe go a bit easy on her though, Shou.  It’s not just your first time here.  My girl’s never had a threesome before.  Have you, Baby?”

Teris shook her head, heated face still buried in Hizashi's neck.

She had never wished Hizashi to shut up more than she did right now.  This was different and embarrassing enough as it was.  She didn’t need her boyfriend’s teasing encouragement and constant comments.

As if in answer to her silent plea, Hizashi's phone rang.

“Shit!” Hizashi lifted his butt off the bed, pulling out his phone.  “This is the big, big boss that owns the station.  They said he would be callin’ but I didn’t…”  He urged Teris to sit up and followed suit, getting out of bed.  “I gotta take this.  Keep things simmering but don’t do the do without me.”

Hizashi's more professional greeting voice dimmed as the bedroom door was closed, leaving Shouta and Teris alone together.

[gardenofdreams-fanwriter]

Hello! I’ve been lacking in angst lol so may I have a request where Yushiro reacts to his best friend going missing only to find out she’s been controlled by Muzan and was waiting for Yushiro’s scent to lead her to the hideout to attack? Thank you and I hope you’re doing well!

▭▭▭▭

Pawn off. [Blood, gore, death]

All day, the worry and pain stored in his heart were developing to morbidness. Her disappearance perturbed Yushiro, he’d go down a spiral in his mind as he searched for her all night.

‘Where have you gone to? What happened to you, [Name]?’ He’d look at the moon behind the cold window, his hand on his face and on his pressed lips, sitting away from Tamayo at their place. Cautious not to affect Tamayo or her work with his own turmoil, so he’d turn his back and spill his emotions away. Tamayo was heedful enough of the change; he’s been spacing-out often and slipping more into sadness and agony with no news from [Name]. Shrouding his emotions been his thing since ever, she awaits him to speak but won’t budge in, fearing it’ll bother him to open up. “Be careful, Yushiro” She asks him, before he left for another night out.

Yushiro goes to the same place him and [Name] used to meet at, and on the streets and the dark alleyways he knows of. That’s been the route he’d take till one night something has revealed. On one of these nights of him wandering the city to find her, he saw from a distance a familiar shadow; his eyes squint in hope to see who’s under that shadow casting off the building (the one close by the place they used to meet at). Is that [Name]? His eyes grew as his lungs clinched in overwhelm ‘it’s… her!’ the one standing simply there, as if she weren’t missing for days. Slightly shaking his head in disbelief, he intended to stride on his feet right at this moment to his friend, but she was looking strange. The sense grew on, not off the joy to have finally found her but off the way she stood there. Although there’s a distance separating, his sight couldn’t mistake her concerning expression, [Name] is standing and waiting like a menacing scarecrow, not moving, not breathing, and not flinching. Something was off about her, it’s corrupting the air and leading into his lungs and never exiting his body.

After disappearing for so long and now hiding behind the wall too, something was up, Yushiro’s hunch telling him to tread carefully, to reassure his suspicion first.

 Since she hadn’t noticed him he snuck behind [Name] and the building, there weren’t anything of concern in the area and nothing showed up to attack him, so he continued ahead with his soundless steps. Till he reached her back, he tugged on her shirt immediately.

[Name] turns her head heavily to him (Yushiro is still not fully comprehending in his head that indeed it was her), seeing her face after a long time had softened his heart. Though— in her eyes, there is conflict, those ever-friendly eyes were glistening and confining inside them. “[Name]! Where have you been?!” Vexedly asked as his severed fingers flung off suddenly, releasing off his grip, [Name] took few steps backwards while his arm still extended and his bloody hand open. She feels different her aura is unsettling. Yushiro is baffled, not understanding what’s the need for a weapon in her hand but he continues to walk towards “[Name]… It’s me Yushiro, don’t worry.” innocently calling her, thinking that he must’ve scared her off then her dagger lunged to pierce through his chest. In a struggle his brows furrow.

“Just lead me to the hideout, Yushiro, it shouldn’t come to this.” [Name] spoke enigmatically, forcing the weapon to cut deeper.

His half regenerated fingers grasped her hands to pull out the dagger till it scrammed out of him, blood was gushing and its splatter plummeting on the ground.

“What are you trying to do [Name]?!” It takes time before his wound heals— he felt unwell, that weapon she has! and her grasp on it was stronger than he’d expected.

“Your time is limited— Just tell me where the hideout is and I’ll cure your poisoning”

 But now he swears his previous perturbation was nothing compared to his anger right now, it’s ringing inside his bones and thundering through his body.

 That must be one of that man’s poor schemes, a desperate attempt to manipulate through emotions.

“You’ll never infiltrate, and will never find Lady Tamayo or even lay a finger on her” he said “Friend or not, it’s not going to happen, not on my watch.”

[Name] wasn’t a demon, it’ll be easier to beat her and especially since [Name] is a normal human being, not a demon slayer nor a swordswoman. Yushiro already forming a plan on how he’ll take her down, while concentrating on slowing his blood circle (to prevent the poison spreading before his body terminate it) ‘Sorry Lady Tamayo, if things go out of control I might have to eliminate [Name]’.

“Yushiro!! Stop it with the heroic act; you’re but a boy risking your life and mine as well in the process. Let’s stop intervening in this dangerous game. We’re not suited” “Once you give the direction, he wouldn’t even care about you anymore, we’ll get to live freely he said” She said, finding his reply daunting and hoped he’ll change his mind “He threatened to kill every last one of my family, MY family, Yushiro! You’re but protecting one woman.”

“Are you insane!? That monster wouldn’t play fair as you think, even if you give him the exact hideout’s location; get it through your thick skull you idiot! He’s controlling you for his own gain, you’re but a pawn.”

“Yushiro, you don’t get it, he turned me into a demon, he got me on a thread— he said my death will be slow and painful, I’d die if I don’t succeed” [Name] said with a voice of agony, he was shaken up with shivers running down his spine, he didn’t even notice that she’s now a demon; is it because that filthy blood of Muzan is yet to merge with hers? “… You were supposed to walk right into that hideout, for me to follow your scent and end this all”

Yushiro quieten till the last second of his wound healing, now that she’s a demon this might go bad.

“This dagger is still left with portion of poison, Yushiro my friend, it’s either my entire family or just that single stranger woman… which you don’t even have a direct relation to” She sniggered “Come on, the answer is easy.” With a piteous look in her face she begged “It hurts to hurt you, don’t make me do it again, just tell me where is the hideout. Let my innocent family live on, let’s survive this and live together”.

“[Name], you don’t get it, it’s the fact that he’s endlessly scheming to get her that should be telling you something, Lady Tamayo have saved dozen of people’s lives and she saved mine too. She’s too important and it’d hurt me to let her down, and all the patients depending on her. I’m sorry for your family, [Name]”.

A smashing fast attack, Yushiro’s aligned fingers punctured right through her skull. She yelled in terror and waved her dagger to dig it in his neck, but he grasped her wrist in time. While her other free hand was peeling the skin of his forearm, he notice her yet small nails were growing demonically ‘This is a nightmare’ this entire scene made him sick. He can’t believe his only friend has become a demon, after all that he’s done to protect her; he’s now the one to take her life. [Name] yanked her cuffed arm, throwing a defensive kick to his left knee; she constantly kicked like a hammer till his bones detached. Both of them dropped on the ground, Yushiro decided to do it now and pull her head off with full force as she struggle to push him off her, it was getting gory as her blood was seeping out on her cheeks. [Name] cried hysterically “YUSHIRO IT HURTS!” crying and forcing her way on top of him to thrust her sharp weapon in his larynx, jolting it to cut his neck but he continued on pulling her head off and getting his other hand into her weak neck.

[Name] wasn’t fully strong and if she were then it’s because she is miss using this power she just gained, that’s the reason why he could detach her head. Pulled the dagger off his neck, then lay his sight on her dead headless body that stopped moving. Yushiro arched his brows as he realize she’s dead, the body fell on top of him as his breathing got louder and the blood was spilling onto him and down the ground.

“[Name]! I’m sorry…” He couldn’t move his hand either to hug her, horrified of what he’s done. The only thing he could do was apologizing on and on.

Yushiro swears on killing that man with his bare hands; mutilate his head with his own nails, crushing that skull like an insect. No matter what.

▭▭▭▭

[scripting-life]

FFVII: returning to my first love

 *peeks out of the corner of my lurking spot*

Hello? Anybody out there? It’s only been, oh you know, four-ish years since the last time I’ve posted anything here. I apologize in advance for anybody who’s still following me from my Castle days. If you couldn’t tell from my extended absence, I’ve mostly moved on. Castle and Beckett were fantastic characters that let me to play with some deep-dive analyses, and Castle will always hold a special place in my heart as my comfort show and my first real and extended experience with online fandom. I’ll always be grateful to the community I’ve had the joy of interacting with (or, the community with which I’ve had the joy of interacting, as Castle would correct me my dangling preposition).

I honestly didn’t think I would ever have reason to come back to Tumblr after Castle ended. But the FF7 Remake has returned me to my very first love--when I was young and innocent and before I knew anything about OTPs or ship wars. I’ve been back lurking for several months now and seeing all the fanart/fanfics and fun theories and analyses has reignited my enthusiasm for the FF7 franchise. It’s also fun coming back to this franchise with a more mature understanding of the themes/concepts that completely flew over my head as a young preteen.

(This ended up being super long, so the rest is below the cut to spare everyone the pain of scrolling. Apparently, my rambling tendencies have not changed at all. lol.)

When FF7R was officially announced (five freaking years ago!), I was filled with apprehension. FF7 was my first taste of a “grown-up” game. I was 11 and played my brother’s copy of the OG on PC in 1-2 hours spurts on the weekends when I visited his apartment. It took me months, if not years, to finish the game (I ended up stealing his copy to play on our computer at home...lol), and I was so blown away by it. I remember the exact moment I finished it and how I was literally shaking as I watched the ending FMV.

Later, when I found out my brother had a copy of FF8 (my poor brother was so accommodating to his annoying little sister...haha), I was so excited to play, in large part because I thought it would continue the story of FF7. Young, naive me didn’t understand the numbering conventions of Final Fantasy titles. I was madly theorizing and breaking my brain trying to find connections between the two games’ plots and had literally played through more than half the game before I finally realized the storyline of FF8 had absolutely nothing to do with FF7. I was sorely disappointed, and I think that has somewhat tainted my appreciation of future titles. Not to say I haven’t enjoyed the subsequent FF titles, but I think a little part of me is always comparing them to that first experience of wonder and awe that I had with FF7.

I discovered fanfiction in my teens and starting writing FF7/Cloti fics in college. Aside from interacting with a few fic writers at the time, I was not involved in any online communities, so I kept myself pretty free of any ship war drama and the like. When I did research for my fics, I’d sometimes see shipping sites and theories where I didn’t always understand the logic of how certain conclusions were reached, but frankly, I didn’t much care and didn’t realize that Clerith vs. Cloti was such a touchy subject. I was peripherally aware that some sort great LTD war was waging, of course, but it didn’t really touch me. I stayed in my Cloti shipping/fic-writing lane and was probably a lot happier for it. And, to be honest, based on FFN’s listings for FF7, I felt like I always saw a bunch of Sephiroth/Cloud fics and thought that was just as popular as the more conventional ships.

Graduating college and entering “real life” pretty much ended my FF7 fanfic-writing journey. In the intervening years between college and the release of FF7R, I haven’t gone back to the OG too much. I’ve played almost all the Final Fantasy games since then, and I always enjoy getting my FF7 crew fix when I play the non-canon mobile games or the Kingdom Hearts franchise. But FF7 was a happy part of my teenage years, and I was content to think on it with sweet nostalgia.

Remakes, in recent experience (*cough cough* Disney, why?), have been hit or miss, with a lot of misses. It’s hard to strike a good balance between catering to nostalgia and delivering a fresh product, never mind the change in social mores through the decades. I was so afraid FF7R would screw up my memories, especially since I wasn’t the biggest fan of Advent Children. The graphics were great and the action scenes were fun, but the story felt like a let-down. Cloud, in particular, felt so different (and yes, moody) from where we left him after the OG. I understand now that a lot of his character motivation was better explained in the On The Way to a Smile novels, but back then, I just felt like AC came out of nowhere. 

Btw, because I see this question a lot on other blogs when I’m lurking, I’ve ALWAYS thought that it was very clear in AC--even without reading anything else--that the reason for Cloud’s depression was due to guilt and not because he was pining for Aerith. The only reason I didn’t like his characterization in AC was because it felt like it came out of nowhere since AC is set 2 years after OG and by the end of the OG, he seemed to be in a pretty decent place mentally and emotionally. That being said, I can absolutely understand why some traumas resurface years after the originating incident and how times of peace might actually be worse because he is no longer solely focused on saving the world, but I was just surprised and a little bummed that this was the direction the devs chose to take AC at the time. Now that I’m older, I do better appreciate the complexities of Cloud’s mental state and the fact that they depicted a hero with lingering mental health issues is actually pretty awesome. I’m drawn to characters that have flaws--sometimes serious ones--but try their best anyway. Hence, why why Tifa Lockhart and Kate Beckett are some of my all-time favorites.

Anyhow, that didn’t stop me from pre-ordering FF7R, of course. I avoided reading any reviews as I didn’t want my first impressions to be swayed, and boy, was I happy that I went in mostly blind. That sense of awe really almost felt like playing the OG for the first time again, but somehow more. The combat system is incredibly fun and the world-building is nothing short of incredible. The variety and abundance of NPCs gives the game so much flavor and the locations have been rendered so well. As I’m going through areas like the Sector 7 train station and Wall Market and Aerith’s house, I can almost superimpose the layout from the OG in my head, but now it’s in 3D and so rich and full. It’s obvious that a lot of attention was paid to details, and I love all the head-nods and homages to the OG.

And oh, the characters!

This is the Cloud I’ve been wanting to see in glorious HD and the Cloud I remember from the original game: all awkward, dorky trying to be cool, socially inept, mentally unstable, abrasive-at-times, reluctant to act depending on who’s asking, wannabe hard-ass who’s actually a big softie inside Cloud. I remember reading an article a few years back about how the devs basically redid Cloud for the Remake because they wanted him to go back to his dorky roots--which ends up making him closest to his personality in the OG than his appearances in other franchises--and I was SOOOO incredibly happy to hear that. I was so sick of the way Cloud was constantly depicted as this cool, broody McBrood in his cameos when he was a pretty big dork in the OG. (Anybody remember him doing squats in the Highwind when Tifa says it’ll be lonely with just the two of them and Cloud responds that he’ll make enough noise to make up for it? Like I said: cute, but a dork.)

I WAS surprised by how comfortable and sweet and touchy (so very very touchy) the devs made him with Tifa from the beginning. That initial scene of Cloud being such a smooth operator giving Tifa the flower had my jaw-dropping and every single flirty interaction after that (and there are many) had my Cloti heart overflowing in shock and bliss. Throughout most of my years as a Cloti shipper, even though I believed Cloti was supported by canon and pretty clearly together, I was also under the impression--mistakenly or not--that Cloti was the minority ship. So for Square Enix to make it so blatantly obvious that Cloud is really into Tifa at such an early stage has been an unexpected gift.

Also, they’re just really hot together. (Clotiscrew tunnel--be still my heart!)

As for Tifa...oh, what wonderful character development we’ve already gotten for Tifa. Tifa has always been one of my all-time favorite characters ever since reading her character blurb in the OG game manual. Initially, as a child, it was because I saw so much of myself in her. She was outwardly bright and optimistic, but tended to hide all of her stronger feelings inside. She fought with her fists, and for someone who was a tomboy growing up who liked playing contact sports with the boys, I connected with her in a way that I had never been able to connect with other female protagonists who were primarily back-row specialists. (I also aspired to grow to her listed height of 5′4″, which alas, did not happen...lol).

I love how the Remake delves into more of Tifa’s moral conflict between the destruction that she causes as part of Avalanche and needing to do something to stop Shinra, and yes, even seeking revenge. They touched on this in the OG lightly, but the Remake really hammers it home. She’s perhaps the most conflicted character in terms of motivation in Part 1. That scene with the Shinra manager on the train is actually one of my favorite scenes of her because it highlights that tension. The elevator scene, if you opted for it instead of the stairs (or if you did one, saved, and reloaded to do the other one, like me), is also underrated in terms of how much it reveals about Tifa’s inner struggle.

On this point, I also appreciate that the Remake has the characters reflecting on the damage they’ve both indirectly and directly inflicted--the Avalanche team all do this to a certain degree. In particular, Jessie’s constant inability to figure out what she’d done wrong with the bomb to cause such a massive explosion and her remaining feelings of guilt during her death scene (”they were my victims” ouch!) were heart-breaking.

Aerith’s depiction was another pleasant surprise. I’ll be honest; I didn’t much like her in the OG. She was too pushy and willfully oblivious to the point of being mean at times. In the Remake, much of her sometimes too in-your-face playfulness was kept--perhaps still a little too much--but I appreciate the nuance that they gave her. The train graveyard scene tells the player that she didn’t have friends growing up, and I think that partially contributes to her lack of social tact at times. The other factor that gives her personality more nuance is the hint of special knowledge that affects how she interacts with the rest of the group. It gives her additional hidden motivation and adds to her mystery for new players while simultaneously pulling at the heartstrings for old players who get the impression that Aerith is somehow aware--to a certain, unknown extent--of her own fate. 

I also appreciate that Aerith is more grounded as a real person than as some sort of revered being. I do blame AC for some of that. When you have the power to cure a fatal disease from the afterlife and send the dead back to life, it gets into some godlike territory. Maybe it’s a fair depiction of her powers as a Cetra, but I just get the feeling that Aerith herself wouldn’t really appreciate being made into this goddess-like figure. Remember that her character blurb in the original game manual implied that she was more interested in earthly things (i.e. the love triangle) than in exploring her own powers. I personally think that Aerith used the “love triangle” in the OG as a form of escapism from the weight of her burdens rather than genuine interest, and I just think she’d want to be thought of as a person rather than as a god. One of my favorite scenes for Aerith is when she and Cloud are traversing the rooftops and she slips on the ladder, letting out a simple, “Shit.” It humanizes her in a way that combats some of the ways she’s sort of been deified in the last 23 years. Also, Aerith wielding a folding chair like it’s WWE never fails to make me laugh. Overall, she just comes off as a more reasonably flawed and--as a result, to me--a more likeable character in the Remake, and I do very much like her now.

Barret is pretty much the exact larger than life character I imagined in my head, only somehow even better, and I really love how expressive and emotional his eyes and facial expressions are. His scenes with Marlene are truly the cutest thing ever. Red XIII is a big, furry ball of sass, and I need so much more of him in the coming parts (Cosmo Canyon still wrecks me to this day). The interactions between the Wedge, Biggs, and Jessie are incredible, and they really feel like people who’ve been friends and basically each other’s family for years. The Turks and Rufus are pretty much as cool as I imagined them in the OG.

There’s still so much more I haven’t even started touching on about the Remake, and I think that’s why I’m finally posting this now. I just can’t contain my love for this game any more, and I really really need a place to express myself. I don’t know if anybody is still reading, but I appreciate having the opportunity to finally gush about this game and franchise that I’ve loved so much for pretty much two-thirds of my life.

[purplesurveys]

793

write the year you were born and bold what you do

born in: 1998.

Millennial

Binging Netflix a lot: I’ve certainly been doing that recently with watching several episodes of Queer Eye or Descendants of the Sun, but I only have phases of it that come by very seldom. Always Snapchatting everything: I used to. I stopped using Snapchat regularly around 2017, when my depression was at its boiling point and I couldn’t keep the account up. In the end I never got around to reviving it even when I got better. Struggling with Instagram captions: I don’t have an Instagram. Always having to delete stuff because of full storage: Not because of full storage since my phone and laptop have a pretty large memory, but because I never like storing too much stuff on my gadgets especially if I don’t need a large chunk of them. Tl;dr I always delete stuff because I don’t want to end up with full storage to begin with. Eating out at a place you discovered on Instagram: No Instagram, but I do check out restaurants that are getting traction on other social media, like Facebook.

(holy crap, definitely not at all a millennial looking at my first few answers)

Used iPods/MP3 players to listen to music: Only up until high school. I have the Spotify app on my phone and laptop if I want to listen to my music. Wanted a flip phone before iPhones were invented: Yeah, because flip phones were popular first before iPhones even existed. I did get my flip phone for Christmas 2007, when I was 9. That baby could last a war; I once dropped it all the way to the ground when I was being tossed around on a fair ride and it turned out okay. Can’t help but post everything on social media: This was me as a teenager when I still felt like releasing everything about my life on Twitter. I’ve toned it down so much ever since then, and it’s been a lot better that way. Have/had/want acrylic nails: No/no/no. Always looking at the phone: Unless I’m with good friends that I want to be spending time with, I could never put my phone down, yeah. Use a bunch of hashtags: Ugh no... only much older people, at least where I live, bombard their posts with many and extremely long hashtags. It’s lost its original meaning so I never really use them anymore. Have tattoos or piercings: I have piercings on my ears. That’s it, though. Shop online: I’ve done it once or twice, but I prefer seeing and getting a sense of a product before I buy it. I only shop online if I’m too busy to drop by a store. Eat a lot of avocado/avocado food: I like dishes with avocado, and I’ll eat them every time, but I don’t get to encounter them often. Closet is full of unnecessary clothes: It has some unnecessary clothes here and there but my wardrobe isn’t THAT useless lol. I still like most of the clothes that I have. Get your food delivered: Yeup, especially if we’re in Skywalk and just waiting for our next class, or if we’re too lazy to go to the mall altogether. Love drinking coffee: Yes. I always wanna try out different kinds of coffee, too. Use public transport a lot: No thanks. Unless they fix up the nasty, neglected public transport here, I won’t feel sorry using my private car.   Eat a lot of takeout food: Isn’t that kinda the same thing as delivered food though? Buy clothes or things you don’t necessarily need: Sometimes I’ll buy useless, novelty stuff just because I find them fun when I first see them, but I make sure it doesn’t blow up into an unhealthy habit of dropping my money on absolutely anything. Work out/go to the gym/want to be fit: No/no/no. Focus on self-love: Uh, I guess. I’m working on it and it’s looking like this these days, so there’s that. I address my self-destructive behaviors more responsibly now, too. Have at least one entertainment site subscription: I’ve never been subscribed to anything. Love traveling/traveled overseas recently: LOL no. My last trip was last August. Spend too much money: Shhhhhhhhhhhh

Gen Z

Spend most of your time online: Yeah, I’m constantly online and I think most of us are? Even if I’m not using my phone I’m connected to the internet and I’ll still get notifications from Messenger; I’m sure it’s the same with most people, unless they deliberately turn off notifications or have a spotty connection.

Procrastinate 24/7: For tasks I don’t enjoy doing as much. If I’m invested in something, or if I know that I can’t afford to procrastinate on a certain job, I do it early on. Consume too much tv/media content: People universally consume media every minute of the day, if not every second. You have your phones, television, newspapers, novels, billboards, music, signs, radio, etc.  Know a lot about technology: Enough to get by. I can’t fix a computer or hack a website though, if that’s what you mean by ‘know a lot.’ Aware and accepting of diversity: Everybody should be, and the only exception to this is for people who support causes that hurt the marginalized. Binge Netflix: I already answered this. Enjoy creating things: I’m not very creative, so no. I like being crafty, but only if a head start has already been provided, like paint-by-numbers kits where I’ll know where the different colors would go so that the end product looks nice. Share a lot on social media: I already answered this too... I guess millennials and Gen X’ers are similar in a lot of ways, still. Prefer to do things digitally: For sure. It’s quicker, more instant, and more convenient. Also it saves me from having to talk to more people than I would like to interact with on a daily or weekly basis. Grew up in a digital world: Pretty much. We had several game consoles at home growing up, I spent my days watching TV, and by the time I was born my parents were already regularly using a computer, mainly to send emails because my dad works overseas.  Talk to friends online more than in person: This would be accurate now, but before this whole mess started I was in school for most of my days and was always around people. I probably only spent eight hours at home everyday, and the rest of the time I was at school. Have met a lot of new people online: For sure. I’ve been on the internet since I was ten and I was exposed to social media from day one since the very idea of seeing other people who are also online fascinated me as a kid. I’ve jumped from fandom to fandom and joined a number of online communities in the last 12 years, so I’m constantly interacting with people from the internet. Prefer digital books to hard copy: I read digital copies more often now, but I do still prefer physical copies since the former can be distracting. I don’t have a Kindle, so reading books from my laptop or iPad will sometimes make me check social media from time to time. The books I’m mostly into (wrestling autobiographies) are never available here though, and I have had to digitally download 96% of the ones I’ve read; but I have no problems with that. Career-focused: Yeah, and I think the pandemic has strengthened that mindset further too. Prefer online shopping over physical: I’m not a serial online shopper so for now I’m not too sold on it and would rather go to a physical store. Idk, it might change though. Interested in things like fashion, beauty, and health: Kinda, no, and no. Watch a lot of YouTubers: Not anymore. I watch more channels that consist of a group of people than vloggers these days. Aware of world issues and want to help: In any way I can. Eat a lot of fast food: I don’t eat them an abnormal amount, but I do enjoy a Big Mac or Jollibee spaghetti every once in a while. People your age are Insta “baddies” and “influencers”: I mean this is more of an established fact than a sentiment I hold, don’t you think? I was born in 1998, so yeah I’m definitely a part of the general age range for today’s influencers and popular people on social media.

[yoongiiggles]

Happy For You, Happy For Us | Part 1

Type: Series

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-Sized Reader

Summary: You have been in love with Dean for as long as you have known him. Wanting to be more than friends with him, you pour out your heart to him in a confession to which he turns you down immediately saying that he has been in a long term secret relationship with a girl named Lisa. Not wanting to damage your friendship even further, you suppress your feelings for him and support his relationship. But when they get married, you become heart broken and leave your life behind to start anew.

Word Count: 2k

Warnings:

A/N: Having all these ideas for writing my own fan-fiction and searching songs that would match the story is making me think about my love life and Im miserable lol. I relate to this song so much, as I’ve invested so much of my time on this guy and he decides that a long distance relationship is not worth it (he moved to another state for college). And the last words he said to me and how easy it was for him to say “it’s for the best” leaves me confused and bitter. But I guess we all are not allowed a happy ending I guess. Anyway, hope you enjoy this series!

Song: Saved - Khalid

Part 1   ||  Part 2  ||  Part 3  ||  Part 4   ||  Part 5  ||  Part 6  ||  Part 7  ||  Part 8  || Part 9  ||  Part 10  ||  Part 11  ||  Part 12  ||  Part 13  ||  Part 14  || End

          God. You love him. For as long as you have known the Dean Winchester, you were in love. But did he know? Of course not. You were more likely viewed as a sister figure in the Winchester’s life. The same way you see Sam Winchester as your little brother. But as for Dean, you feel nothing but pure love. Although some say to just go for it and tell him you love him (as Sam would say), it wasn’t easy for you to just do exactly that. Being his friend before any of your feelings developed to love, you have watched his consistent habit of bringing a woman back to the motel for a one night of pleasurable fun and even sometimes going for another day and even going as far as getting their number and calling them whenever he needed a release of some sort. But lately, this habit of his has seemed to stop for a while.

          “Got it! I just figured it out, it’s an old witch using traditional witch craft to lure her victims in thinking she can grant them any wish they want”

          “Seriously Sam? You couldn’t wait until we finished eating huh?” Dean mumbles as he chews loudly on his burger.

          “Seriously guys? You can’t discuss this without food in your mouth?” You chuckle as you throw away your empty bag that was once full of french fries and a burger. As you begin to sit down on the couch, Dean perfectly throws a piece of wrapper in your face. “Hey watch it Dean-o! You need this pretty face to lure in the enemies!”. He ignores you pleas and begins his second burger of goodness. 

         “She’s right. This witch only seems to attract female victims. Nothing particular about them, just the fact that their a female. And most of these cases of missing females disappear at every fancy party held by the mayor. And lucky us, there’s one two days from now and if we leave by dawn we’ll be able to be there one day before the party starts. So eat up and gear up. I’ve got our outfits prepared and...” Sam continues to ramble as he types at rapid speed on his laptop, “we’re on the guest list.” Just as Sam finishes his sentence, Dean throws another burger wrapper his way. “Ugh! Seriously Dean”, You and Dean laughing hysterically.

         “Just tell him. Dean Winchester might be a lady’s man but I know him enough to know that he won’t hurt you intentionally. Besides, he cares about you too much to hurt you”.

          “Easy for you to say Sammy. You’ve never been in this position. Besides look at him and God! look at her! How can I compete with that!?”.

          “Ouch!” It wasn’t the first time Sam has hit you in the back of your head. “Seriously (y/n), he’s not even doing anything. And can’t you see her struggling for his attention?” And it’s true, strangely enough. Dean hasn’t paid her any attention since he’s been at the bar, grabbing you and Sam another round of beer. And now that you’ve thought about it, every time you guys came at the bar after every hunt, he hasn’t taken a single woman back to the motel, choosing to down a couple beers and play a game of pool. 

           “Yeah you’re right... I wonder why that is...” Even though he hasn’t paid her any attention, it still makes you insecure. Knowing that these were the types of females he goes after-- skinny, blonde, gorgeous, and tall. Looking down at your fingers resting on your chubby legs you don’t notice Sam giving you a sad look. 

          Sam groans inwardly, frustrated that you don’t see what he sees. Dean’s glances and lingering touches. But how could you? Just as much as you know them both, he knows all too well of your insecurities. Curtesy of your drunken nights at the bar while Dean is away with another woman, you have nothing but Sam at your side, listening endlessly of your rants about the things you don’t like about yourself and how Dean will never notice you in the way you have noticed him because of how you look.

           Groaning, you place your head on the table “Ugh... Why couldn’t I have fallen for you instead?”. Again, missing the sad look Sam gives you.

          “Well, Good Morning to you sweetheart”. Damn Dean and his choice of words. You groan, lifting your head from the window, “Are we almost there?”.

          “Not quite. It’s taking us longer than I thought. We’re gonna head to a dinner just a couple minutes away from where we are, you good with that?”. Sam says looking back at you. You say nothing and nod, placing your head back on the window. It’s a nice scene for once, green trees and blue skies, a complete different contrast to the dream that you just woke up from. 

          And just as Sam says, the diner appears in your line of sight just after 5 minutes. And just like any diner you’ve been to, it has that classic retro vibe like the one they had in the olden days. Climbing out of the impala, you notice Dean constantly checking his phone screen from his pocket. Thinking nothing of it, you follow after Sam entering the diner, deciding to pick a booth by the window. As you sit down, you notice Dean through the window on the phone against the impala, a wide smile gracing his facial features. “Wonder who he’s talking to...”.

          Sam too, after ordering food for the three of you guys, looks out the window and says, “Probably Bobby Singer. Heard that he’s getting married to this chick called Jane”. You look at him in disbelief, “Seriously? You knew and didn’t tell me anything about it!?”. He shrugs nonchalantly, “totally forgot about it”. You roll your eyes and notice Dean and his suppose phone call with Bobby is over, walking over to the two of you guys. And as always, Dean sits by you. 

          “Im gonna head to the restroom”. You watch as Sam leaves to the restroom and wait until he’s inside, you finally turn to dean, “Who was that? Bobby Singer? I can’t believe you and Sammy knew he was getting married and didn’t bother telling me about it!” you exclaim, hitting his shoulder blades. 

          He looks at you, with what you think would be mild uncomfortableness, “Uh yeah, forgot to tell you about that...sorry...” he quickly looks away from you and gets up to the bakery side of the Dinner to order a cherry pie. Suspicious and knowing that there’s probably more to that phone call, you put it in the back of your mind as your food arrives. 

          “Sammy are you crazy!? Im not wearing this!” you cry out. There is no way your wearing this dress. Your chubby arms are in view and just looking at the slit of the dress resulting in your legs in view for anyone to see makes you sick. Your not used to wearing these types of clothes. Of course you’ve worn dresses for hunts like these, but you wore dresses of your choice that concealed your whole body. And knowing Sam picked out this dress for you AND knowing your insecurities, you cry out of frustration.

          Sam is shocked to say the least. You were so beautiful, the dress hugging your curves in all the right places. So just as you are frustrated, he’s also frustrated. But seeing those tears run down your face, his frustration fades and a wave of sadness hits him, “Hey now, why are you crying?” with no response from you, he cups your face “You are so beautiful (y/n). I picked this dress out because the color compliments your skin tone, it brings out the colors in your eyes, and...” you don’t notice it but his voice shakes, “I knew this dress would look absolutely amazing with your gorgeous body...” Sniffling loudly and still frustrated, you don’t catch his last sentence and finally look at him “what?”.

          Releasing his hold on your face he lets go and coughs “Nothing. Look, we have don’t have much time to waste, the party is gonna start in two hours and we have an hour drive to the hotel”. You nod silently, deciding to put your heels on and again not noticing the lingering stares of Sam. 

          Dean walks in and Sam quickly turns away, facing Dean “Are you guys ready? Wow...” Putting your last pair of heels, you don’t notice the silence in the room and two men staring at you, too caught up in your self-discrimination. With the strap hugging your ankle, you turn around “Im ready” and begin walking towards the door to the impala, again not noticing their eyes following you. As Dean finally register that your standing by the impala he leaves the room. But Sam just stays behind and shakes his head. Dense she is this woman. If you would just stop and look at them, you’d see how beautiful you are to the both of them. 

          You’re blown away. You’ve never seen anything like this before, it was like you were in another world, a fantasy world. Immediately, you feel silly about your reaction on your dress, as you look around, you feel under dressed. But no time to linger on those thoughts, as you hear your ear piece pick up with Sam’s voice and Dean’s arm around your waist tightens. “She’s there somewhere. Not sure of her appearance or age, but based on most witch cases, she should be able to stand out from the crowd”. You nod unknowingly and allow Dean to lead you to the bar. 

          Standing closely to you, you hold your breath as Dean leans down to whisper in your ear, “Notice anything suspicious about any woman?” You shake your head softly and whisper back, “No, but Sammy said that any woman that stands out from the crowd could be her”. He nods back at you and as planned, he leaves your side to get a couple dance with a few women, on the look out for any that stands out. You release your breath as you watch him lead a woman to the dance floor with a wide grin on his face. 

          “Easy (y/n/n), try grabbing a drink from the bar and act like your looking for a potential dance partner”. You release another shaky breath and order a drink. As soon as you have your drink in your hands, you have no time to look around in the crowd as a man approaches you with a flirtatious smile, “Hello love, name’s Brian, and you are?” you take a minute to study him, tall, blonde hair, blue eyes staring back at you, and a golden suit you’ve never seen a man wear before. it really does seem like you’re in another world. You shake his hand firmly, “Daisy”. You quickly glance back to the dance floor and notice that Dean is nowhere to be seen. “Beautiful name for a gorgeous dame like you” in your ear piece, you can hear Sam scoffing. Alarmed at Dean’s disappearance, you nod a thank you and excuse yourself. But you don’t get far away from him as he is in front of you offering a dance. Thinking of it as a way to look around in the dance floor more closely, you accept. 

          “I’ve never seen someone like you here before. Whose family name are you from?” Completely. Different. World”. Another quick glance over his shoulder and you see her. She’s talking to an elderly man and Dean still nowhere to be seen. where the hell is he? You look back at him, “Im from no family name. I just happen to know the mayor”. The look he gives you impales you. You’re not sure if you should be intimidated or flustered at the intense look he gives you. But before you can even think about it, a hand taps your shoulder and relief floods you as you recognize Dean’s cologne, “May I?” The guy takes one final look at you and then Dean and kisses your hand and leaves. You watch him walk away towards the witch not realizing how close Dean is holding you.

          You finally look back at him and realize he said something to you. “What?” He spins you around and brings you back close, whispering lowly in your ear and again, your breath hitches in your throat, “I said did you see her? The guy that was just with you came with her, i’ve noticed.” You look back at her, talking to “Brian”. You nod gently to him, “how do you know they came together?”. They’re walking to another room, a female following closely behind. “I was at the entrance and saw them both come in, holding hands. You think there’s two of them?” They’ve just entered the other ballroom. “Dean we gotta go, a girl is following them to another ballroom”. With quick actions and Sam confirming that there is indeed two witches, you finish the job quickly and stealthy. 

          “Good job guys. Im leaving the motel now, where are you guys?” Dean looks back at you, “It’s cool Sammy, we’ll walk. (y/n) insist that we do. sides’ its snowing and you know girls and snow” you can hear Sam laughing from the phone, “yeah don’t worry “Dad”. Okay okay bye”. As you stare up at the sky dripping down snow, Dean begins to mumble something, not hearing him clearly, “What?” He looks away rubbing his neck, “I said you look...” he looks back at you “...beautiful”. Your heart rate picks up. But before you can something his phone starts to ring. He excuses himself from your stare and leaves you breathless. You begin to think back on what Sam said, 

 “Just tell him. Dean Winchester might be a lady’s man but I know him enough to know that he won’t hurt you intentionally. Besides, he cares about you too much to hurt you”.

          “Yeah okay... Bye”

          You look at his back, concern radiating from your voice, “Everything okay?” He turns back at you with a smile in his face, “Yeah. Everything is great.” He walks back at you and you stare at him, with your palms shaking and sweating, your heart racing, and throat growing dry you finally say, 

          “I have something to say”

          “I have something to say”

         Dean chuckles at you, “You first” 

          Releasing a shaky breath, you stare at him intensely and say “I don’t know how to say this but...”

          “...But??”

          “I-i-i love you” 

         “I love you too”

          You shake your head frustrated, “No, I mean... Im in...” you exhale another shaky breath, “Im in love with you, Dean Winchester”. 

Part 1  (you are here) || Part 2 ||  Part 3  ||  Part 4   ||  Part 5 ||  Part 6  ||  Part 7 ||  Part 8  || Part 9  ||  Part 10 ||  Part 11  ||  Part 12 ||  Part 13 ||  Part 14  || End

[elizaviento]

Protect & Serve

Okay.  @lolliequinn gave me the inspiration for this Cop Rick x Reader fic that’s been brewing in my head for the last few days.  This first chapter contains a good bit of the Reader’s back story and, yes, this will be another multi-chapter affair.  (Although, it won’t be nearly as long as Assimilation.  You’re welcome, lol.)  Anyway, without further delay-- 

Protect & Serve (part 1)

(Cop Rick x Reader)

SFW (for now, but not for long)

(FYI:  Additional chapters of Protect & Serve can be found in the Rick Fic Masterpost link in my blog description.  Or, you can click the #protect & serve tag in this post, within my blog, to access additional chapters.)

*****

I met my first Morty a year and a half ago.  I had been brought in to assist with an initial evaluation at the group home he was assigned to three weeks after his entire family had disappeared.  The exact circumstances that led to the disappearance were hazy at best and all anyone could seem to get from the poor boy is that his grandfather was the ultimate culprit.  Every other detail Morty begrudgingly divulged seemed ripped from a fever dream; talk of portals, interdimensional travel, alien worlds, alternate realities, infinite versions of not only himself but of nearly every person in existence.  Yeah, I had seen more than my share of cheesy science fiction films, but none were ever as descriptive or – dare I say – believable as what poured from Morty Smith’s mouth.

Eventually, he was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic and was put on so many medications that he soon became just a shell of a boy.  I continued to see him on a regular schedule; no less than once a week.  When he wasn’t drugged up into a near catatonic state, he seemed happy to see me.  I would try my best to get to the truth of what happened to him and his family, but he would either constantly change the subject or tell the same story he’d asserted time and time again.  After several months of this, I changed my tactic and just tried to be a friend to him.  I would show up to our weekly appointments with games, candy and junk food and spend our allotted hour trying my best to go over his personal goals which consisted of relaxation techniques, educational milestones and socialization.  He was a sweet boy and I felt him growing on me as the months passed.  And, even though his trauma was severe, I could see the curious, fun loving side of him hiding just underneath.  

Then, one day, he was gone.   

I’d arrived to the group home at the same day and time as I usually did, expecting to see him either in his room or in the common area playing video games. But, when I checked in with the receptionist, she told me to take a seat and the director of the home would be by to fetch me shortly. 

“I’m sorry to be the one to inform you, but Morty Smith was claimed by a relative last week, right after your last visit,” the director said when we were securely behind the closed door of his office. 

“How is that possible?  It says in his chart that he has no other family.  He’s essentially an orphan.”  I opened his chart and began scanning through the information for what felt like the millionth time since he’d been assigned to me just shy of 6 months earlier. 

“A man showed up claiming to be his grandfather’s twin brother.  After searching through family records, we confirmed his story.”

“Okay,” I replied, pinching the bridge of my nose.  “But that still doesn’t explain how this man was able to just take Morty and stroll away with him. Morty was court ordered to this home.  There would have to be another court hearing to determine if that man was even fit to care for Morty, given his serious diagnosis!”  I was beginning to raise my voice in ire as I continued to explain my position.  There was no way any of this could be possible just from a legal standpoint alone, not to mention an ethical standpoint. 

The director just blinked at me and gave the same speech he’d given seconds earlier. It was like he was in some type of trance and any countering argument or insistence of further information was swiftly knocked down. 

“Fine.” I conceded, standing from my chair to prepare to leave.  “Then I have no choice but to report this to the state’s child protective services.  I have a duty to Morty as his case worker to make sure he is cared for and safe and I have not been given the proper assurances or required documentation.  I’m also going to note in my report that you, personally, have neglected your professional duties as the director of this facility.”  And, with that, I left. 

When I made it to the sanctuary of my car, I couldn’t stop the tears that stung my eyes and leaked down my cheeks.  It was a blessing but also a curse that I had a personal conviction to care for children such as Morty. I didn’t know if I would ever find out what happened to him, but I swore to myself – and to him – that I would try my best.

However, when I finally got home that evening, I was shocked to find him sitting on my living room couch.   

“Morty!  What the hell?!” I screamed, startled.  I dropped my bags on the floor to quickly closed the distance between us, kneeling directly in front of him.  How did he get in here?  How did he even know where I lived?

The first thing that struck me is that he looked… different.  He had put on weight – no longer the bone thin boy who hardly ate during meal times – and was dressed in a suit and tie.  His hair was slicked back and he no longer sported dark circles under his eyes.  He looked like a normal teenage boy dressed up for a junior high school dance. 

He didn’t speak. At least, not at first.  He only placed a hand on my shoulder with a calm smile and turned his head in the direction of my dining room where a man sat in one of the chairs.  He was dressed in some type of guard uniform and looked eerily familiar.

“What’s going on here, Morty?  I was at the group home today and they said you were released to your grandfather’s twin brother.”  And, that’s when it hit me.  The man sitting in my dining room looked identical to the photos I’d seen in Morty’s file of his grandfather, Rick Sanchez. “Is that him?” I asked.  Then, leaning closer and lowering my voice - “Or is that Rick?”

Regardless of how discrete I had tried to be, the man had obviously heard me as he quickly rose from his seat and began to approach Morty and I. Instinctively, I shifted my crouched position so that my body was completely in front of Morty, attempting to shield him from any harm the man may try to inflict. 

“It’s okay,” I heard Morty say from behind me, placing his hand on my shoulder once again.  He sounded calm and lucid which immediately took me aback. “I’m not the Morty you think I am.  But, I’ve been watching you and I’m very impressed with the dedication you’ve shown to the Morty of this dimension.  We could really use someone with your type of character on the Citadel to help other wayward Mortys.”

At this point, I was completely speechless and felt my stomach drop to my toes.  Morty – my Morty – had spoken of the Citadel many times during his, what I assumed to be, psychotic ramblings.  Could it have all been true? No, it couldn’t be…

The man dressed in the guard uniform was now standing directly in front of me and was offering his leather gloved hand.  Seemingly running on autopilot, I took it and allowed him to pull me to my feet and slightly away from Morty.  Then, I heard the flush of a toilet and whipped my head toward my bathroom as it opened to reveal Morty – another Morty. This one was dressed in a white button down oxford shirt and black slacks and was carrying a briefcase.  Around his neck, there was an ID badge that read –

Morty Smith N-1519 – Personal Assistant to the President

“Mr. President –” the other Morty began, glancing at his watch, “– we need to get back soon. You have a speech in two hours and you must prepare.”

Morty – President Morty? – nodded and turned his attention back to me.  “The Morty from this dimension is fine, by the way.  We took him to the Citadel last week.  You’re more than welcome to see him, if you decide to join us.  So, what do you say?”

--------------------

A year later, I found myself standing outside of a run down, abandoned building in the middle of what the locals called ‘Morty Town’, waiting for my mandated and mandatory Citadel Police Department escort.  As I flipped through the files of each Morty suspected to be squatting in the building, my mind began to wonder back to that night, when my life was flipped upside down.  As I stood here now, I didn’t regret my decision to move to the Citadel.  It was actually very easy to leave my old life behind considering most of my family lived on the other side of the country and I didn’t have many friends to speak of since I was a self proclaimed workaholic.  Once I had agreed, President Morty gave me two weeks to settle things in my home dimension before sending his assistant and the guard back to fetch me.  He then gave me an additional two weeks to acclimate myself to Citadel life, which was decidedly more difficult. 

Mortys and Ricks. Ricks and Mortys.  Everywhere.   

I’d never met a Rick before that night in my apartment.  But, being thrown into an entire space station full of them was very unsettling.  Mostly because they were all exactly alike but incredibly different.  It was an oxymoron of there ever was one and I fumbled through the nuances of daily life among them.   

Getting used to the throngs of Mortys was just as difficult, which is something I should have expected.  Thousand and thousands of 14 year old boys stuck in the middle of space with almost no females – of course it was an adjustment, to say least.  Despite the constant giggling, red faces and awkward flirting, most of them were joys to work with – except for the ones that weren’t.  But, those were different stories in and of themselves and the main reason I was recruited and voluntarily gave up my life on earth to come here. 

I was suddenly pulled from my thoughts when I heard the crunch of tires on the gravel covered asphalt and turned my body to face the police cruiser as it approached and parked just behind my car.   

“Hello, Officer Sanchez,” I greeted with a smile as he stepped out of the cruiser and adjusted his utility belt.  He gave me a small smile in return as he strolled toward me with his hands in his pockets.   

“Just call me –”

“Just call you Rick,” I cut in, smiling wider.  We played this game almost every time he was required to meet me for what was mandated as a ‘risky’ assignment and somehow, it hadn’t gotten old.  At least, not for me.

“One cream, no sugar,” I said, plucking a cup of coffee from the drink holder on the roof of my car to hand to him.   

“Uh, thanks.  You didn’t have to –”

“I know,” I acknowledged, cutting him off again.  I seemed to do that an awful lot and it sent a frustrated blush to my cheeks every time.  “Just consider it a ‘thank you’, okay?  I know it’s your job to come assist me with these visits but I appreciate it nonetheless.”

He only nodded in response as he took the cup from my outstretched hand, his fingers lightly brushing mine in the process.  Immediately, my neck and cheeks flushed anew. 

Damn it. 

As much as I hated to admit it, I had been harboring a crush on Officer Sanchez for most of the year I’d been here.  The first time I found out that I was required to take a police escort on ‘risky’ visits, I had been offended.  I was a seasoned professional at that point and knew how to take care of myself in iffy situations.  I had even taken self defense classes and carried mace on me at all times.  I tried arguing this point with my boss - another Rick - and even went to President Morty myself, but it was hopeless.   

“You’re the best we’ve got.  Most of the Mortys trust you but you know first hand that some of them have been traumatized well beyond trusting anyone.  This is for your own safety.”  He then left me standing in the waiting room outside his office, frustrated and determined to make miserable any officer who was unlucky enough to be stuck with me.  What an absolute brat I had been. 

“What – what do we got?” Rick asked me, taking a sip of his coffee and leaning casually against the side of my car. 

“Um – looks like four Mortys are squatting in this building.  All of them are presumed to have been caught up in the unsanctioned Pocket Mortys ring and are most likely still chipped,” I replied, flipping through the files to try to familiarize myself with each Morty’s individual look.   

“Yep,” he agreed, placing the coffee back on the hood of my car to check his utility belt.  He pulled out a taser and handed it to me.  “Take this.”

“Rick, you know I can’t –”

“Just – just take it,” he interrupted, grabbing my hand and thrusting the weapon into my open palm.   

I relented with a sigh and shoved it in the back pocket of my jeans before pulling an elastic band from the opposite pocket.  I then proceeded to tie my hair up into a tight bun, remove my earrings and other jewelry, and pull the belt from the loops of my jeans.  I’d worked with troubled kids long enough to know that the first rule of thumb is to never give them something to grab on to.   

After throwing the jewelry and belt into my car, I took a huge gulp from my coffee and dumped the remainder on the asphalt.   

“Ready?” he asked, removing his sunglasses and tucking them into his pocket so I could finally see his breathtaking brown eyes.

“Yeah.  Let’s get this over with.”

To be continued...

P.S.  Thanks for reading!  I think this will be a fun journey.  :)

[reimahowaido]

Spyro: Reignited review parte 6~

And we continue~~ It's been a few days since, buuuuut Alpine Ridge! Take 2 xD Ayyy I got really lucky and in the end I Did in fact manage to get the gem from that last firework! Nice! No need to go back there anymore to struggle! Good stuff good stuff! But I did still need to go back to the level itself because I was missing some gems. And since it had been a few days of me playing last, I did take a bit of a breather and a step back to do other stuff, I had to get a hold of the controls again but this time it was faster and I had some more confidence I was missing some few gems at the beginning of the level, but after a few failed jumps to that somewhat far away platform with two fighting wizards, I was able to make my way over there, grab the gems, trot a little further on and woop, 100%, level completed~ So other than having to grasp the controls again and a couple jumps failing for the smallest missing of making it to that other area, it wasn't too bad Now, we finish Magic Crafters! Here we are, once again. This time we're releasing one of my faves, Zantor~~ Finally xD As well as getting a little lost because it's been a while, but the map is helpful. But more than that, it's my first experience with the Super Charge. Oooooh I'm nervous, big time oh boy how's this gonna go. But thanks to a youtube commenter whom I pretty much owe so so many lives to I'd assume, who pointed out that you can use the arrow keys to turn with some more control. That comment. Was so useful. Like I didn't even really try much with the Super Charge before I had read that comment, just a teeny tiny bit I think, but it was extremely eye opening. Like, maybe it's a little dumb, but I did literally have a whole "Wow, what? Those work here too?". So either like, the arrows don't do much in Pokemon Sword or I was having a big 'head empty' moment. But it was a good tip none the less! Ay, so there's another egg thief, whom I Think I caught before reading the mobility comment, and it was so stiff to try and turn and I wonder if it'd have been easier with the arrows. But I can say that the PTSD from the Alpine Ridge egg thief was very present. I don't want to run off ledges unintended! But luckily we caught 'em before then. Which is good. Also figured out that there was a semi-hidden secret platform you have to glide onto from around that area and I Think I did it independently with the help of the map, so that was a proud moment~ Now, back to stuff though. Navigating the level with the constant fear of 'oh shoot a legde' & 'oh no, water' was a bit nerve wrecking, but we managed. Kinda did good too as we didn't die during the wholety of it. Traveled around some more, a little lost as to where to go until I'd find some gems again, and then the hidden area I was like 'ok, so is that a hidden spot or can you get there from the front?' I checked the front first, of course xD Tracked my way carefully back so I knew I wouldn't be taking unnecessary risks in going there through some 'harder way', but nope, it was the only way of going there so careful back-back tracking and success in finding the key within, and with some help from Sparx again, made the way to the chest. And I think with that the level was 100%'ed, or then there were still a few stray gems around, but I did complete the level so good stuff~ The only problem now was to find the levels xD Ummmm, yeah, it was a little hard to navigate, and now i had to somehow find my way to all the levels again. Shoot. Where was, literally anything xD Welp, the moment I found a level I certainly entered and jumped right in!

Blowhard! Ok so I forget since it has been a few days since I last played, but I Think I went to Blowhard first before the other remaining levels. It was either this here or some time later when I had the thought of 'I might as well go in and leave right away so I can find it later' and I can't actually exactly remember if I finished this one before Magic Crafters or not. But regardless, I finished it in one go, 1 death because bruh, platforms and gliding = still not my strong suit xD But overall the level wasn't too bad! I kept wondering if I'd have to go to the windmill and jump around on it for some of the gems, but luckily that wasn't the case and I didn't have to die trying something dumb. But man, it feels goooood to leave the level through the portal again xD Like I've done a good job~ And I didn't look up at a guide here either xD Fully finished it on my own, good job me! God that makes me sound like such a cheater, but nah, I'm just lazy High Caves! So Imma admit, I completely forget which one I did first, High Caves or Wizard Peak. I'm just going to have to go off on a limb and say it was High Caves since it has less Super Charging. Maybe the level was easier for me to find too? Who knows, it's been a while. But yes. Here we go, a completely new normal level, yeeeee~ And this time we don't have any bitter expectations or anything. Okay. The first bit with the spiraling way upwards with lots of elemental wizards on the way. Mmmmm, that's not as easy as it looks. Ye it's simple, but there's a lot and you can't see where you're going or what to expect, so it catches you off guard. No casualties though, some damage yes, but no deaths. The jumps at the 'green druids that insist on moving everything in sight' was a tad stressful, I think I fell down at least once there? It's those small teeny tiny bits where I just barely miss the platforms. But it didn't go to the point of frustrating, so we're moving forward Painting found and scorched, the actually flaming and hitting it process was the hardest (because I saw it first on a youtube guide, lol, I was eating lasagna and just looking at some 100% videos while eating because why not) the turning is still a bit stiff afterall. But speaking of those videos, I was fairly happy with this level because now we get to the area that has those fairies that lift you back up if you fail and fall. Absolute lifesavers~ Why aren't you on the other levels D: I neeeeed youuuuu~~~ But yeah, failed those jumps a handful of times, I knew to jump after the charge after a try or two, but there were plenty of trial and error bits with several of the glides. My head was constantly pondering whether the game wanted me to use the Super Charge & jumps to get to places or if it was expecting me to get to those side caves with just a regular glide. Regardless though, failure after failure and god-bless those fairies for honestly making this level actually fun and enjoyable to try stuff at rather than to scream and cry in frustration (a super good decision really, to allow people to try and have fun without the cost of failing) all side caves were reached and cleaned up~Good thing the fairies can't just up and quit after you've failed X amount of times xD Because they definitely would have stopped lifting me up after all those fails if they did That one chase with the Egg Thief around that pond though. Nerve wrecking, but I was trying to be tricky and like, extra sneaky about it in like, jumping over it and using the flame. Pretty sure I took a dip into the pond itself, but I got the thief, so.... Necessary sacrifices. And now we're onto the spiders. As a kid I'd probably have been Terrified - and yeah they're Still a little intimidating if you miss them and fail to kill them with a charge since they are invincible - but we made it through that area just fine. Or like, we did clear it up, but it was not a one and done kinda deal xD First run I managed to miss every single spider x2 And then had to hurry on out of there. But this is when I figured out that the fodder respawned after you had

gone far enough away from there, at least here it did, so I could refill Sparx's HP to full and then try charging again. Eventually I had hit all the spiders, gotten lost until I found the second path that lead up to the fairy that gives you a power-up (and yas Spyro looks so cool with the power-ups active in Reignited~) and then that was cleared~ Now all I had missed was a small area you had to glide to at the beginning of the level and then we were done~ Good stuff good stuff!! This was honestly a really fun level and I had a good time. Even left it through the actual portal :2 So it was a success! <3 Also I forget if I've mentioned it or not, but, the Green Druids, the ones that just move stuff around and laugh at you? I kinda like them. Yes they can be trolls, but most of the time they're harmless. They won't hurt you if you stand next to them, they'll just keep doing their things. And I, as not so good and skillful of a gamer, appreciate the lack of hostility. Thank you for just chilling~ Wizard Peak! Another level that was completely new to me and I hadn't really looked into it all that much. And right away I gotta say that this place is really pretty~ I love snowy wintery stuff, so that's an obvious yes from me. Also the music. Yessss, here's one of those iconic songs that truly say 'Spyro' when you hear it~ Overall I do like the level :2 Here we see more of them big purple gnorks, and also get slapped by them a few times - some of those rooms were Crowded, guys it's 'rona time, keep your distance. They're not bad though, just gotta work on that flame length. The wizards on the ledges are a bit of a taunt, since you can just barely not reach them, but sooner than later you figure that there will be some other way of getting to them And ah, Jarvis is right, this Is a very good spot to Super Charge. This spot is seriously like, perfect. The topside will pretty much always spawn a fodder for you to grab a butterfly from whenever you need one, so being hit is no problem at all! No stress in moving around and exploring. Moving onto the next bit with the super charge. Yo, they certainly bring you straight up on over to that one big jump that you'll have to eventually make. And that's an intimidating looking jump. You have this platform, at a distance, all on its own, and you know that you'll have to make your way over there, Somehow. But for now we're still going to just charge at these wizards, and then proceed to smack and hit that tough chest in one go~ First time babey! I Definitely wouldn't have expected that from the stress and trouble I was expecting for the super charges to cause me. I was feeling super proud :2 Alright, time for those distant platforms~ Successfully made it up there, and really, I knew from some past speedruns I've seen that there was going to be some gems hidden behind those walls, so I knew to look there on my own before hand. But what a genious move from the game developers to have that egg thief back there in the first distant platform~ You hear a sound, but where is it coming from? It's like right here but there's nothing? Bellow? Nah, but back here? Yes! Oh there's a hidden bit right here! Sneaky developers~~ It'd be really really cruel, but the egg thief is a good hint to the player that there's something they might be missing. It's unfortunate for deaf players, but other than that it's really smart! And because of this past encounter, you know to look onto the back at the other distant platform too :3 After all of that, all that was left was some gems at the start of the level on some narrow sides that were a little more stressful to get because we be walking on the edge, but it wasn't that bad and there was plenty of room to move. Also Yeet at thee wizards! As I'm looking at some playthrough to remember everything. I think that apparently both the wizards can be reached from those side paths. And now I'm like 'oh' because I definitely remember super charging and jumping on over to one of those higher platforms to kill one of the wizards xD I suppose I took the harder route on that,

but it's fine! Level 100% completed and we leave through the portal again as victors~ Beast Makers! Ah yes, we're kinda writing some extra here, but I did indeed finally enter the 4th world as I played last. I had the option of going here way back before because I had met the requirements for it a way back. But ay, we doing these in order so here we go! Firstly, doesn't seem anywhere near as dangerous or confusingly lengthy as Magic Crafters xD So that's a bonus. The aesthetic is definitely different, but it looks cool, I don't mind it in here. I Think I remember some older stuff being like, there was a black sky box here or such, and that made it look really eerie and kinda like a void or such. But ay, new graphics, new stuff, place was fine The Hogs though. Oh boy xD Jumping off that raft seemed to be hard enough, and now we have these enemy hogs just homing in on you after you've barely made it. Rude. Regardless though, a few things I remember from here. I took to entering every level that I found almost right away and then exiting them. This way I'd not get lost and lose sight of them and it'd be easy to enter them whenever. Yeah I had to treck through the first bit of the level several times over and over again, but overall I feel it was worth it. Reaching some of those distant small platforms via gliding from that temple was a little difficult as you might have guessed, but it wasn't frustrating. There's a sneaky 'well' in the level, I knew of it, even as I somewhat accidentally fell in it as I was checking out if it was the one well that wasn't filled with death, but all was well and good and the level was 100%ed sooner rather than later with no major problems and me figuring out the hogs relatively quickly and easily~ Not so scary anymore, you just have to have some reflexes And this is where we are at now in the games. Flight levels are still incomplete, but other than those everything up to Beast Makers Homeworld is cleared 100% and we're having fun and enjoying ourselves :2

[seigaku9th-blog]

japan week three ➜ ryosei’s summer thanks event

on july 16th, i had the chance to attend ryosei (8th inui)'s summer event & meet him!!

this was more of a just for fun ~i want to give back to my fans~ kind of event rather than one commemorating the release of a DVD or photobook or the like. i had no idea what to expect, but it ended up being sooo much fun!! this is my favorite event i attended.

i was sitting in the middle of the very first row of the venue, which was both nervewracking and wonderful. the venue wasn't full, but there were still a lot of us, and everyone had so much energy and was so nice!! it felt really cozy and fun.

the event kicked off with a talk section between ryosei & the MC, as well as a Q&A from the fans. they mostly went over ryosei's work within the past few months... when his hatsukoi monster character was brought up, the MC said ryosei kinda was like his character (a crazy fanboy of a young boy who dresses like a cute girl) and called him a pervert... ryosei didn't deny anything and even said "yes i'm pervert-san i look forward to working with you"... i... don't even... know...

when talking with the MC, ryosei was so loud and chatty, but when answering fans' questions he does this ADORABLE thing where he gives these really long detailed answers, and his voice gradually gets lower as he talks more & more... he would ramble a little and it was ADORABLE. i really appreciated him putting so much thought into his answers to fans' questions.

my favorite question was when a fan asked him about makeup.

Fan: "having been in tenimyu, you had to do your own makeup for 2 years. how is it to leave that work to makeup artists now?"

Ryosei: "you know, makeup artists do a great job, but there's moments where i have to tell them things like, that's not my foundation color, you made my face darker than my neck!! or things like that."

i thought that was really interesting bcuz i always had been curious about that; some tenimyu boys are so skilled at doing their makeup, and then you see how they look when other people do it for them, and... well.

being in the first row and sitting near where ryosei was, i felt like he was looking in my direction so often and it was so intimidating!! he's such a chill guy but he's also so beautiful and tall... he is. SO beautiful. i was especially happy because most of his freckles & beauty marks were visible thanks to how light his makeup was hehehe... also he has the most amazing cheekbones and these GIGANTIC hands actually that might be scary more than anything

he then brought his guests in: kodai (8th taka), tsuji (3rd higashikata) & . the guests were announced way after we got the lottery results & our tickets, so i was so amazingly happy that i'd get the chance to see kodai & tsuji.

the first thing they did together was this adlib skit competition. the MC would give them a specific prompt and then they each had to come up with a skit about it. the crowd would then vote for our favorite one.

the themes were: - you're the teacher and your student just graduated; - confessing to your childhood friend; - you confess but the person is already taken.

ryosei won the first one, but kodai won the other two!! he was just so pure and good it's no wonder... ryosei was like THIS IS MY EVENT WHY ARE YOU ALL VOTING FOR HIM ughhffjcsg

tsuji would get embarrassed & laugh in the middle of each of his skits, it was so cute!!

i really liked their skits for the third one. kodai's was like, "ah, really? well, that's fine!! i wish you all the best!!" while ryosei's was, "oh, okay then. bye. *turns & walks away*". i laughed SO hard. i feel like there was truly this dating game pattern of kodai being the sweet harmless guy, tsuji being the awkward goof & ryosei being the flirty, crazy and rude one. XD

then it was time for the performance numbers. okay, i really had NO idea any of this would happen AT ALL. it was kinda shocking...

so, ryosei & tsuji start talking about how they both love kpop... (a thousand red alarms go off in my head)... and how they... learned a choreography... (by then i'm already ready to die of embarrassment)... and so...

ryosei & tsuji did this entire dance cover complete with lipsynching of BTS' i need u? live on that stage? while i was in the first row? i'm still mentally scarred honestly?

but the worse is that. i actually. really enjoyed it. they're both really good dancers and were seriously going hard on that stage and they're both very tall you know... so when they did those sexy body rolling & neck touching & etc moves i was like OHHH. NOOOOOOOO

i honestly wish they had recorded it because despite how scarred i am i would definitely have rewatched that 488558 times. ryosei's legs...

afterwards all four of them sang kiseki by green boys? it was really pretty. ryosei did the rap part and it was so funny he is such a goof... however tsuji definitely stole the show with his wonderful singing~ poor ryosei keeps getting outshined at his own event...

afterwards, ryosei introduced his college friend, one of the first people he met after moving to tokyo. i thought it was really cool and sweet of ryosei to have invited this totally normal guy to his event! his friend was so quiet and shy, it was so cute to watch them.

the reason why ryosei had invited his friend was so he could play the guitar as ryosei sang his own songs. yes!! ryosei is apparently an amateur singer-songwriter now!!

it was a very heartfelt and sincere and lovely moment. ryosei isn't the best singer out here, but he still sounded so sweet, and the songs were really emotional. the second one was about going back to your hometown, coming home. when ryosei described his feelings behind the song, a lot of people in the crowd teared up, ryosei made fun of us!! (and then teared up himself while singing it.)

afterwards, it was time for us to meet ryosei. we could take a cheki, talk to him & personally hand him our letters.

what i thought was really cool about this event is that the cheki was included in the base price ticket. a lot of events require you to do crazy things or spend a ridiculous amount of money to get a cheki. (i bought 3 photobooks to get my cheki with zaiki LOL)

as expected, ryosei was so incredibly calm and casual. he greeted me and we took the cheki, please take note of how huge his hands are next to mine when i already have rather large hands... it was almost scary to watch girls and their small hands doing heart shapes with him i'm terrified

i told him how much i loved all of his roles especially jek and jouetsu and orion and INUI!! and how i've been supporting him from canada since he debuted in tenimyu and how i love his ""energy"" on stage (idk how to compliment extra-ness in jp).

he held my hand very firmly and warmly and he's sooo quiet and calm, idk why he does this thing where he's constantly yelling at his friends but basically whispers to his fans but it's so sweet... he is so beautiful and his soft face looks like cookies & cream what with his freckles... and his big smile is so cute!! he looked really surprised when i gave him my letter, maybe he didn't expect me to be able to write XD

i then went out to the goods area. honestly, i regret not buying more things. his photosets were GORGEOUS, the concepts, poses, expressions, outfits, image quality, everything were so much better than the bromides i got from everything & everyone else this month. no offense, but...

the cutest thing was the collection of cheki on sale. there were hundreds of unique shots: all hand signed & captionned by ryosei. i regret only getting one of them... i'll share higher quality pictures of the goods i got at this event at a later date.

as i mentioned, this was the objectively best event i attended this month. ryosei isn't even one of my top 10 actors or anything, but he's such a charming & entertaining guy. i'm really thankful to have met him & glad he treated me so kindly. i hope i can see him again!!!

thank you for reading this report!!

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

Is there any way you could do a Madam Red x Reader? Where reader is a maid/pet to Madam Red and constantly has to deal with Grell since she's the butler and technically the "Head" of the staff

Woooow, Grell is on a power trip here lol!!

A bit of trivia because a while back, my friend showed me an episode of a reality show that threw actors into different time periods to show what it was like, and the episode I watched was, no surprise, Victorian era because research! Actually quite entertaining, and the pertinent part is when Grell calls the reader “Jane” -- in real-life Victorian households, the male servants would all be addressed as John and the female servants would all be addressed as Jane by the masters of the house. Even though this is a fictional setting and that obviously doesn’t apply in canon, the fact that Grell calls the reader “Jane” is just one more way to demean her. THE MORE YOU KNOW! ;P

“Oh, Jane!”

Thatvoice grates on your ears, day in and day out, whenever you’ve madeeven the slightest mistake. At this point, you’ve all but given uptrying to please Grell. Even though you respect her – she’s afantastic butler and always so well put together – her standardsare far too high for any regular staff member to meet. Not tomention, given that your relationship with Anne is equal partsprofessional and romantic, Grell’s had it out for you from day one.She’s insanely jealous, so you learned fast to keep your hands offof Anne whenever Grell is around.

Funnilyenough, it seems that Anne realizes this, and almost revels inwatching the two of you vie for her attention. That’s disturbingenough, but she loves you, and there’s no doubt that Grell verymuch enjoys the game, so you’re willing to deal with it.

Hereyou stand before Grell again, holding your tongue and hoping thatwhatever you messed up this time won’t result in more verbal abusethan you can handle at the moment. “Yes, ma’am?”

Theregoes all your hope, though; it’s blatantly clear that Grell is notin any semblance of a good mood today. So instead of going easy onyou, that dangerous smirk of hers never fades, showing off rows ofsharp teeth as her hand tangles in the back of your hair. Leathergloves only make the strands catch, causing it to be that much morepainful. She’s grabbed quite a good fistful, too. “Do you think,my dear, that mediocritywill earn you any more good graces in the Madame’seyes?”

“…!”Your teeth clench together and you have to physically force yourselfnot to move an inch. Whatever she’s talking about, you’reclueless. Every one of your chores has been done to the absolute bestof your ability. The only trouble is that the best is never goodenough for Grell, so you’re always stuck trying to figure out whaton Earth it is this time. “I’m…sorry, ma’am…?”

Thebrunette all but shoves your head into the parlor room’s bookcase,leaving your nose barely an inch from the spines of the volumes youput away less than an hour ago after dusting there. “Look at this!Do you really think that is perfect alphabetical order? I should haveknown; you can’t even actually read.Shameful, embarrassing… I can’t understand why the Madamehired you!”

Beforeyou can say anything in your own defense, Grell’s hand pulls youback, and her other starts toppling books out of the case. “H-Hey!”you protest as you try to free yourself from her iron grip. “Youdon’t have to do that! Ma’am! I-I can just switch out the onesthat were in the wrong places!”

“Shutup!” Onceall the books on the top shelf are on the floor, the butler moves onto the next one down.

“Butma’am–” A sharp tug on your hair makes your mouth snap shut,letting her finish in uncomfortable silence.

Withthat, she releases your hair and gives you a hard shove down to thefloor, right over the books she’s just made a mess of. “Youare the maid, and I amthe butler. You are not to talk back to me. You are not to questionmy judgment. You areto follow orders – quickly, quietly, andexactly as I say they’re to be done. I’m the head of the Madame’sstaff for a reason, so you would do well to remember thatyour place is far below me,Jane.”

Assoon as you hear Grell’s heels clacking away up the staircase, youmove to get up. A wince spreads across your face as you feel theindents where corners of books have pressed into you. “Ouch…”

Itdoesn’t take long for you to regain your bearings and startorganizing the books again. This time, you try to be a little morecareful and pay attention to both title and author. You’re notcompletely sure which were out of place before, but you don’t wantto give Grell areason to snap at you again.

Justas you’re about to start on the second shelf, a pair of arms snakearound your waist out of nowhere. You would think perhaps it wasGrell come to apologize after a change of heart… if not for thefact that your actual name is whispered in your ear immediatelyafter. “(Y/N)…!” Because Grell never calls you that. It’salways Jane fromGrell; as if she can’t be bothered to remember your name even whenshe’s being sweet. A small chuckle follows the whisper, and athick-lipsticked kiss pressed to your cheek. “Goodness, did Grellbully you again? You poor dear!”

“…M-Madame…!”You push back the urge tocry, because Grell isn’t worth your tears. “I-I’m okay. It’sjust… I put these back wrong, after I did the dusting…”

“Tsk,tsk. It looks like Grell was hard on you about it, though. I couldhear her little temper tantrum from my study!” Her hands aredifferent, fingers stroking gently through your hair, straighteningwhat Grell’s fingers left a nest of tangles. Touchesfrom Anne are always full of love no matter what. Always tender,always comforting. “Well, don’t worry. As soon as you’re done…”Her lips leave another imprint on your cheek. “Why don’t you comesee me? I’ll make up for whatever she did to you.”