#this film is in fact exactly as gay as i was told it would be. i am thrilled

[bread-cat-luna]

no but this is literally a romcom break up scene why are they like this.

[jessejaredstories]

Walk on the Wild Side

Sergio was a walking gay man’s fantasy. He was tall and muscular as fuck. Beefy could barely even begin to describe him as everything from his biceps, chest, thighs, back, and even ass were massive! He made his living off of flexing his hot body as well as fucking other beefy dudes on camera. Sergio was truly living the life many could only dream of having.

But although Sergio was living the good life, he couldn't deny that something was missing. More specifically, something about his sex life. Sergio loved his very active sex life and was more often than not satisfied after every hookup he had. Yet at the same time, Sergio found himself wanting more. He wanted something new, and he knew exactly who to contact. Kris the Kink Witch.

Sergio reached out to Kris through Twitter DMs. Kris, like Sergio, also made his living off of recording and selling the videos of his gay escapades. He was known to be one incredibly kinky motherfucker online, and he took great pride in it too- as evidenced by his self proclaimed title the Kink Witch. But unlike Sergio, Kris took a much more professional approach to his line of work. For Kris, it wasn't about pleasure, it was about money. He meant business, and he never shied away from demonstrating that fact.

Fortunately, Sergio was also pretty well-known in the online gay community. Kris recognized Sergio and responded back to him within a couple of minutes. Their conversation went as follows...

S: Hey, you're the Kink Witch right? I've got a request in mind.

K: Yo. Yeah that's me. You want to film a collab together?

S: Not at all. I was actually thinking you and I can link up and have some fun. No cameras. 

K: Sorry, I don't do charity work. 

S: Trust me, I don't either. I just need to have some real fun and I know someone like you can help me out with that goal. I'll pay you a good amount too if you're interested.

K: Go on, I'm listening...

Sergio and Kris went on to negotiate the deal. In exchange for a kinky night of fun, Sergio would pay Kris $2500 in cold, hard cash. However, in order to earn that money, Kris needed to get Sergio to cum and to feel real pleasure while doing it too. But before they could seal the deal, Sergio gave Kris a heads-up by saying that he had already done almost everything anyone can think of. If it wasn't something new and exciting like he wanted, then Sergio had no problem calling the deal off. Yet despite his stark warning, Kris accepted the deal without any hesitation. It slightly unnerved Sergio how confident Kris was. He was pretty sure they both had more or less the same amount of experience when it came to sex. Could Kris really know something Sergio didn't?

Regardless of the initial unease Sergio felt, it was too late to back down now. Kris was already on his way to his apartment. Sergio passed the time by doing the usual prep work of cleaning himself out, just as Kris told him to. Yet despite his best efforts to distract himself, Sergio couldn't help but wonder what Kris had in store for him.

Does this twink really think he's gonna satisfy me just by fucking me? Ha! I've already taken on plenty of men, there's nothing new he can do there! 

Sergio chuckled at his own thoughts. His curiosity was making his mind run wild. Luckily it didn't take much longer for Kris to arrive. He showed up at the entrance of the building and Sergio buzzed him in. Sergio then welcomed the young man into his home, and although he was excited to hook up, he couldn't help but wonder if he was in over his head by hiring some 20 something year old dude with messy hair and a dirty hoodie. 

"Alright, you ready?" Kris said as he began to strip down to nothing but his underwear. 

"Yeah, do you wanna go-" 

"Wrong answer," Kris interrupted Sergio. "I'll excuse the first mistake but you'll only address me as Sir, Daddy, or Papi from here on out. Got it?" 

Sergio was thrown off by how to-the-point Kris was but decided to just ignore it. 

"Yes, Sir." 

"Good boy, now whip out your cock. Get hard too,"

Sergio did as he was told. Kris did the same. Sergio was impressed with Kris' member. It was long and hairy with some decent girth too. Although his was definitely longer, Sergio's cock was the thicker one. They were both hung, Sergio like a bull and Kris like a horse. Once they were both erect, Kris reached down to his pants. He pulled out two rings out of the back pocket, one gold and one silver. He put the gold ring on, then handed the silver cock ring to Sergio.

"Put this on, then on the count of 3, twist it to the right."

Sergio held the cock ring in his hand. The silver hue of the ring almost seemed to glimmer under the light. He hesitated putting it on. It definitely wasn't the first time he wore a cock ring, but Sergio got an inexplicable feeling telling him that he shouldn't put it on. Kris noticed his hesitation right away.

"C'mon, don't be shy, put it on!" Kris said firmly. Sergio looked up and met his gaze but didn't say anything. A moment of silence passed, then Kris sighed.

"Look man, you paid me to do a job and I plan to deliver. You trust me, right?" 

Kris seemed slightly more empathetic now. It was just enough to make Sergio trust him. Sergio nodded, then proceeded to put on the ring. He placed it on the tip of his dick and slid it down to the base of his rock hard member. 

"Alright, ready? 1... 2... 3!!!"

Sergio and Kris then twisted their cock rings to the right at the same time. The moment they did, a wave of orgasmic sensations hit their bodies, causing them to throw their heads back with pleasure. 

"UURRGGGHHHHH!!!" They both moaned obscenely loudly. 

Sergio's vision blurred as he felt the wave of pleasure overtake him. His body trembled as the ring grew tighter around his cock, making it engorged. Then suddenly, Sergio became extremely lightheaded. He could feel his very soul leaving his body. As his soul stepped out of its vessel, Sergio lost all physical feeling as he became nothing but a mass of light. He looked ahead and saw the same had happened to Kris. Both of their souls had just stepped out of their bodies!

Sergio was mind blown by what he was seeing. But before he could even react, his soul began moving on its own. His soul was floating towards Kris' body. At the same time, Kris was floating towards his body. During the brief moment they passed each other, Sergio could've sworn he saw Kris smirking. His soul continued its march towards Kris' body, and as soon as it made contact, it began sinking into the soulless body. Sergio's soul aligned with its new vessel within seconds. Every single cell of Kris' was invaded by Sergio's soul, and he could feel ecstasy wash over him as his soon-to-be new body surrended itself to his control. Once it was done, Sergio immediately felt the difference as he longer possessed his jacked, beefy body but instead a hairy twink like Kris. 

"Arghh fuckk.. what the fuck..." Sergio said with his new voice. All of the extraordinary sensations he just experienced made him fall to the ground. While he was busy trying to recover, he could see his body moving out of the corner of his eyes. 

"Bro look at these fucking pecs! These are some massive slabs of meat on your chest!!" 

Sergio watched as Kris bounced and groped his pecs with shameless joy. Slowly but surely, while Kris was enjoying himself, Sergio came back to his senses. He sat up, then kneeled down onto his knees. Well, Sergio was mostly back to his senses anyway. The sight of seeing a burly man play his own chest was filling him with lust. The only thing on Sergio's mind was how to best worship and please his master. 

Kris noticed Sergio was basically drooling and smirked.

"What's the matter, you want something?" Kris stripped down naked, then bounced his pecs again. Sergio nodded his head vigorously. "Then ask for it, tell Daddy what you want."

"I want milk Daddy..." Sergio said with bated breath and dilated pupils. "Please, Sir, let me worship your beautiful pecs!" 

"Good boy," Kris put his thumb on Sergio's chin and flicked it down, leaving his mouth hanging open with his tongue out. "Now show your Daddy what you can do with that mouth."

As soon as he heard he got permission, Sergio couldn't contain himself anymore and pounced onto Kris. He immediately planted his mouth on one of Kris' nipples and began suckling away while Kris enjoyed getting serviced. He was smirking all the while. His plan had gone off perfectly; the cock rings switched their bodies! That was the kink Kris had planned for Sergio, and he knew it would be the fun night he could've never predicted. After all, nobody knew how literal his title of Kink Witch was. But while Sergio was aware that they switched bodies, there was one little detail Kris kept to himself. Both rings would allow a body swap, but only the gold one would let the user retain their original personality. Because Sergio used the silver cock ring, his soul was forced to absorb Kris' hidden total sub personality when it took over his body. It might still be Sergio in mind and spirit, but it was now Kris in personality. With Kris possessing Sergio's muscular body with his mind still intact, the conditions were now set for him to complete the request Sergio made. 

"FUCK yeah, just like that!" Kris moaned. He could feel as Sergio alternated between licking, sucking, and flicking his nipple with his tongue. His warm mouth felt amazing against his sensitive nipples. Kris pressed Sergio's face down into his chest. Sergio let out a muffled groan of pleasure as he motorboated Kris. They were both having the time of their lives, filling the room with their sensual moans. 

Kris let Sergio worship his chest for a while longer before moving onto the next phases. Within the span of the next half hour, they made out passionately and intensely. Kris stuck his tongue inside Sergio's mouth as they grinded their bodies together, sharing their body heat together. Kris then began moving his mouth down Sergio's body, covering his neck and torso with hickies as he bit and sucked on his body. All while Kris had his middle finger firmly set inside Sergio's ass, massaging his hole and making him squirm while he claimed him as his sub. 

Then, before the final act, Kris tore Sergio off his body. He had a hand wrapped around his throat, lightly choking the panting young man. Sergio's eyes were lit with an intense lust, begging and desperate for more. Kris smiled internally. He had him right where he wanted him.

"Fuck, Boy!! You really know how to please your Master, I wanna give you a reward... Are you ready? Are you ready for Daddy's present for his favorite sub?" 

Sergio whispered "yes Sir, please Sir." Kris then pulled out a couple more things he brought and gave them to Sergio, who put them on enthusiastically. 

Sergio laid there with his ass perked up. Kris came up from behind and laid his big, strong hands on Sergio's perky cheeks. He massaged him first, letting Sergio's bubble butt jiggle in his hands for a bit. He then spread his cheeks apart and leaned down to stick his tongue deep inside his ass.

"Nghh..." Sergio groaned. He could feel Kris' tongue swirl and flick around inside of him and it. Felt. AMAZING. 

Kris ate Sergio out for a while, making sure his ass was nice, wet, and ready for his girthy cock. Once he had enough of using his tongue, Kris got back up and positioned himself just above Sergio. He let his dick rest in between his cheeks and moved it up and down, making Sergio squirm in anticipation. Then, with a wide grin on his face, Kris stuck his dick inside of Sergio. He let out a silent "fuck..." as he watched his cock head penetrate his bound up sub. He thrusted slowly, letting inch by inch of his fat member disappear into Sergio's hole. Kris was proud of his tight and warm hole, and now he finally got a chance to fuck himself in a very literal way. He waited a bit to let Sergio's wall expand to accommodate his dick, then began pounding away at him. 

Loud obscene moans, guttural groans, and boorish grunts filled the room as the two men fucked. Kris found the perfect rhythm to move his hips, fucking Sergio like he was a jackhammer. Sergio closed his eyes as he took the dicking down like a champ. Somewhere in the back of his head was the vague memory that he and Kris had switched bodies. The thought of getting fucked by his own body made his pleasure increase tenfold. It was his own cock stretching out his hole and rearranging his insides. It was a strange thought, but Sergio didn't care. All he could think about was how he was Daddy's personal fleshlight and how much he was loving servicing a big, strong man like Daddy. 

They fucked for a while longer until Kris couldn't hold his load in any longer. He pulled out, flipped Sergio over, tore off the jockstrap, then stuck his cock back on.

"C'MON! CUM FOR ME! COVER ME WITH YOUR- FUCKKKKK!!!!"

Kris finished mid sentence. He rammed his throbbing dick deep inside Sergio and let out all of his loads inside of him. Hearing Kris' satisfied groaning as he cummed along with the sensation of getting filled with his seed made Sergio shootout ropes of warm jizz all over. Within seconds, they had both become incredibly sweaty, potently musky, and drenched in Sergio's spunk. Sergio got his walk on the wild side and Kris completed his job.

Once they cooled down and cleaned up, Sergio collapsed onto his bed. Aside from the mind blowing sex, he was also exhausted by swapping bodies. He was a first time swapper after all, it was only natural. 

But just before he could drift away into a deep sleep, he noticed Kris was still moving around with his body.

"Hey... what are you doing?"

"Daddy's gonna go have a night out with his bros. Don't worry about it, just go to sleep."

Kris hopped into bed with Sergio. He kissed him on the forehead, snuggled with him, and watched as he fell asleep in his embrace. Sergio was way too tired to question it, and Kris was glad. Kris then hopped out of bed and let Sergio rest inside his body while he went out to complete his next assignment: find a hairy, muscle bear with a big ass. Now it was his turn to bottom, and although Sergio woke up the next morning not knowing where Master was with his body, he had no problem patiently and eagerly waiting until Daddy returned home.

[mmkclarkey]

We have a spare room- Part 3

When all goes wrong, moving in with three guys will solve it?

It had been three months since you moved in with three random men, all of which having their own weird affect on you. Chris had quickly become the person you went to when you wanted to talk about Taylor swift or Chappell Roan or anything of the sort, he loved the fact that you didn’t judge him for his feminine side. And you loved the fact that he allowed you to rant about anything to him, always giving the best rants back.

This however meant that you had to judge him for something else, now if there’s one thing you learnt about Chris, it’s that he’ll test his luck, he had the tendency to be a dick to his friends. Arthurtv told you about that one time in school when Chris told the girl Arthur liked that they were in a gay relationship, much to the girl’s dismay.

The way to combat this you may ask? Chris does something wrong, he has to put £1 in the jar, they stole the idea, some show called new girl apparently?

Besides Chris, Arthur was the best person to go to if you wanted something interesting, he had this amazing ability to be able to make you laugh at the most random times. Like the time last week where you were all arguing over the shared bathroom, having the biggest shower you tended to argue over who was going to use it when you go out. Arthur fully started to strip off naked, making you all leave as he shouted that he’d flash you all if you didn’t let him use the shower. In the end, you George and Chris sat on the floor outside the bathroom laughing for nearly an hour.

And then there’s George. George was the classic, blast music and go to parties and drink kind of guy. Somehow you found yourself roped into going to yet another influencer party at least once a week, however, you can’t exactly say that you didn’t like it. Aswell as this, he was absolutely amazing at giving advice, about anything, you had problems with filming? George knew what to do. you had no idea what to wear? he did. It was shocking how good the man was at just daily advice, it made you really appreciate the fact that you have him as a friend now.

~

You had uploaded a video three days ago where you were playing a horror game on Roblox, which you didn’t see an issue with and as usual got the views you were used to. But today? Today it peaked, around 9000 more people liked it in just the one day.

Then came the comments. and that’s where you realised your mistake. At one point you scream particularly loud and George (being the only other person in the flat at the time) shouts in from his room asking if everything was okay, to which you laugh and shout through that you are making a video and you’re okay. And this would be absolutely no issue if it wasn’t for the fact that your editor left it in, and your viewers, and just people people in general, did not know that you had moved out of your old flat let alone moved in with another man.

This caused a shocking amount of people to guess that you must have broken up with your boyfriend, and got with George almost straight away, and that’s why he’s in your house, concerned whether you’re okay. It didn’t take long for George to be knocking at your door, asking if you were decent so he could come in.

“I’m decent George, come in”

“So… I saw your comments” he says while sitting down on the bed, a bit of a red look on his face, clearly just back from being outside.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise my editor left it in, i’m making a tiktok literally in a minute to tell people that we aren’t together, it just means explaining why I’m here” you say back in an apologetic tone, aware of how overwhelming the fans can be sometimes.

“It’s fine, I promise, do you think we should get us all in the vid just to prove it a bit?” he asks with a curious tone.

You make the decision to do so, making everyone group together on the sofa as you set up your phone, pressing record.

“So… hey guys, i’m making a quick short video to address some things i guess? for reference, I made a video last week that was released three days ago, and in it, George here asked me if i was okay, which is lovely, but we are just friends.”

Arthur giggles and says “We’re all just friends, she just wanted to hide from you guys that she moved out of her old place”

Chris chimes in “Yeah, so if anyone, preferably three girls and a guy want to come wife up this flat feel free”

“Chris shut the fuck up” All three of you say in response, yet all laughing too.

“So yeah, I moved in with Chris, George and Arthur and I guess that’s where I am now, hope this clears things up and I love you all”

You post the video and the comments come in immediately:

this quad is literally iconic

we all know why she moved in with three guys

chris is so Schmidt coded argue with the wall

i’m so glad to see you living your best life baby omg!!

they are such iconic friends we need more videos together

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N i am so incredibly sorry, i’ve been completely procrastinating this, i hope we like it!! also can we notice the fourth wall break xx

taglist: @loveheart-123 @ooostarwarsfandom501st @rougetv @le-le-lea @onlinesuzie @44-ilton @chilwellsancho @pretendyoucantseeme @theresglittleronthefloor @raekensluver @viagracex @neivivenaj @authortelevision

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

I know you've been a fan of Jimin for a while and as someone who only became a fan in 2023 I wanted to ask you a question about this:

https://x.com/moonlightkive/status/1831725500626030765?t=4WIxob-Fc9xmk510LqQbmg&s=19

Even in the short time I've been a fan of Jimin I learned not to always trust what armys say about him. So I'm not sure what information is true and what is exaggerated or even completely made up. I've seen this dieting subject be brought up before when it comes to Jimin and it seems that the general concensus in the fandom is that Jimin struggled with that more than the other member, but is that actually true or is it just another case of armys's double standards when it comes to Jimin? Like, I've seen people mention him doing extremes diets, something about him not eating for 10 days, about him passing out multiple times, starving himself, being concerningly thin back in 2016 or 2017 (I don't remember what year exactly they were talking about and looking at him during time I didn't really notice it myself), and a bunch of other stuff. Is any of that true? What I'm guessing is that probably only some of it is true and possibly exaggerated, but I can't be sure. So that's why I'm asking you, cause I figured you'd at least know more than me. Cause some people seem convinced he had an ED, and I don't know how I feel about people diagnosing him with something serious like that.

Yes, it's 10000% an exaggeration.

Jimin never showed or gave anyone reason to believe that he struggled with an eating disorder. Everrrr. I want to give people the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe Jimin's talked about it the most through the years so everyone has the wrong idea, but I can't even say that. I can't even say that Jimin's talked about skipping meals more than the other memebers, because it's just not true.

The only thing that's happened is army being stupid, honestly. That's really it. Their tunnel vision and their inability to put two facts of someone together and make that someone a complex, real person. They look at Jimin (and all the other members) as if he's a fiction trope. And they keep talking about a nonexistent eating disorder because it fits the trope they've made up of him; frail, skinny, gay, cute, too nice for his own good, defenseless.

Yoongi has legs like toothpicks and he doesn't get eating disorder allegations. Why? Because it doesn't fit the musky-perfumed, whisky lover, smoker, granddad idea of army. I'm pretty sure last year he also said on live something about eating one meal a day.

You can see Jungkook literally binge eating in every BTS content ever filmed. After binge eating he starts talking about how he needs to lose weight and shouldn't eat anymore. Every. Single. Time. Eating disorder allegations? No, because he's got pecs and like two defined abs. Eating disorders go both ways. Binge eating as a habit is ALSO an eating disorder. And for the record, I doubt Jungkook binge eats like that 365 days a year for all meals, but if he did, it would be an eating disorder and army still wouldn't say anything as look as he "looked" healthy.

Some recents comments about food/eating that BTS members have made:

Jimin:

And I'm pretty sure there's one from last year too where he told a fan to not skip meals.

It really is just army's tunnel vision.

They've chosen this career and they've always known what it would entail. Dieting and fasting before schedules is something normal to them. It might not be normal for you, me, or some dumb armys but it is to them the same it's normal for bodybuilders and people like Michael Phelps to eat 12k calories a day -which also isn't normal for like anyone in the planet-.

If dieting is an eating disorder, then I think we should go ahead and say all idols have an eating disorder including the other six members of BTS.

[artoatsblog]

What your favorite Nick toon says about you but it's EVERY Nick toon

Doug- When you were asked what you wanted for Christmas, you said "plan white bread."

Rugrats- You're a "90's kid" who wants the modern cartoon enjoyers to get off your lawn.

Hey Arnold-Same as Rugrats, but 5 time worse.

Rugrats (2021)- You only said this one to piss off the above two.

Ren & Stimpy- You're a gay man and all you OCs are ugly men who you need to kiss each other or else you'll die (This isn't an insult, you're the strongest member of our society.)

Rocko's modern life- You relate to at least one character way more than you would like to admit to others.

CatDog- Weird furry.

The angry beavers- Weird furry with taste.

Aaahh!!! Real monsters- You like the idea of Tim Burton's movies but your too cool to actually enjoy them, also your probably non-binary.

Kablam- As a kid you wanted to make something with this exact energy and now, you're a youtuber.

Oh Yeah! Cartoons- same as Kablam but you really miss Cosmo's old voice.

The wild Thornberry's- You worship the ground Tim Curry's walks on SO BAD.

Rocket power- Honest 90's kid.

SpongeBob SquarePants seasons 1-4- You're annoying about seasons 5+.

SpongeBob SquarePants seasons 5+- You know better than me about those people being annoying about seasons 5+.

As told by ginger- You were going to say Hey Arnold, but you didn't want to be lumped in with certain other people.

Action league now- You made at least five short films that look exactly like this.

Chalkzone- Your playlist for working out has the theme song for this show looped for five hours and nothing else.

The fairly oddparents- Your trans, and you hate no other person more than Elmer Hartman.

Invader Zim- You were a vary emo kid/teenager in the late 2000's (same, no shade)

Jimmy Neutron- you're really glad that that you picked the show in "Jimmy Timmy power hour" that wasn't made by an asshole.

All grown up- Come on guys "As told by ginger" is right there.

Avatar: the last airbender- I don't want to hear the lore of the fantasy book you wrote.

Avatar: the legend of Korra- Same as atla but You also made a LOT of shipping fanfics.

My life as a teenage robot- Transfem.

The X's- You don't exist, if you're going to go into the comments and say this is your favorite Nicktoon, you're lying.

El Tigre- This is just the good version of Danny Phantom.

Danny Phantom- That was a Joke don't yell at me.

Mr. meaty- You want this odd but cool type of puppetry to come back (if you thought I was going to make fun of this one your wrong.)

Tak and the power of Juju- Your enjoyment of this show is based entirely on the fact that you liked the games.

Back at the barnyard- Shitposter.

Fanboy and Chum Chum- Shitposter but awesome.

Catscratch- Yeah, I think Wayne Knight's voice is hot too.

The mighty B- Gay.

The penguins of Madagascar- I don't have a joke for this one I just think you have impactable taste.

Planet Sheen- You always wanted Jimmy Neutron to have more "Rawr XD" swag.

T.U.F.F puppy- You ether are Jerry Trainor, or you have a Jerry Trainor stan account.

Kung fu panda: legends of awesomeness- You have a three-hour lore video on this franchise, and I hope it does well.

Winx club- You wanted to help them get free from Netflix.

Robot and Monster- It may just be me, but I think you might enjoy Dan vs.

Teenage mutant ninja turtles (2012)- You don't like rise of the tmnt.

Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles- You don't like tmnt (2012).

Sanjay and Craig- You used to freak other kids out with your scabs.

Monsters vs aliens- You can deny Coverton's rizz (sorry).

Breadwinners- Your about to go into every cartoon reviewers house with a shit ton of water balloons.

Harvey Beaks- In the middle/late 2000's you were more of a cartoon network kid, you loved Cowder.

Pig, Goat, Banana, Cricket- Same as Harvey Beaks but with Flapjack instead of Cowder.

Bunsen is a beast- Your Elmer Hartman.

Welcome to the Wayne- You wrote at least one fanfic for the ending of this show.

The adventures of kid danger- We don't talk about this one.

Middle school Moguls- it's ok monster high is about to come to Nick for real.

The loud house- Your ether a sapphic girl or a straight guy with a DeviantArt account who needs to be punished.

The Casagrandes- Same as the loud house but with the added advantages, because if you have a DeviantArt account in this one you're more likely to have a normal relationship with your family.

It's pony- You don't hate the British as much as the rest of us.

Middlemost post- John trabbic III is such a bad ass name though, wait this show has Del the funky homosapien and Tony Hawk as guest stars, I might need to which this.

Star trek: prodigy- You really like Netflix original animated shows don't you.

Big Nate- You haven't read the books.

Monster high- You the perfect in-between of goth and prep.

Transformers: earthspark- Why does this show have better non-binary rep than most other shows...I mean they are called Transformers for a reason.

[onepiece-polls]

One Piece Shipping War - Round 1 Side D

PeroUta edit made by @braindeadmaggot ❤

Propaganda under the cut.

Propaganda for Shanks x Buggy:

What if we were childhood friends who gave up our drama for each other then never saw each other again for years

What can I say, I'm a fellow shuggy truther too 🤝

Shanks obviously adores Buggy, and Buggy is so tsundure~! Mr 'I hate Shanks'-but-will-take-every-opportunity-to-talk-about-him-and-be-with-him.

Oden says in his journal that he can't tell if they're friends of enemies, and I just love that. Plus when you add in the revelation about Shanks and Buggy in the recent chapters.

They're childhood friends. They're exes. They've been married for 20 years. They're opposites. They're the same. They're silly goofy guys who make me want to cry my heart out. Red/Blue is always meant to be.

Buggy """""HATES""""" Shanks. This hate is so strong that he WILL yell at this red-haired bastard despite the fact that he is a coward, who is terrified of all the Emperors. Everyone thinks this is strange. However, when you grow up with said Emperor on the same boat, watching him stumble over his feet as he's trying to learn to use a sword, stuck scrubbing the whole deck because he was stupid enough to prank "Dark King" Rayleigh, and make that same stupid pouty face every time his Conqueror's Haki doesn't do anything because he is an itty bitty child, most of that fear gets pretty quelled. Also, that same fucker lost an arm because he's a DUMBASS and he deserves to be made fun of for it (not because Buggy is worried and missed him not at all no no Shanks is just DUMB and needs to be TOLD he is dumb more. But just by Buggy. Because Buggy has known his idiocy forever. He has earned the right to yell at this stupid, stupid Emperor for being a self-sacrificing fool and for giving away that stupid hat and... Wait, hang on, when did this bastard get hot!? WHAT THE FUC-) And Shanks just keeps smiling at Buggy and his antics because he has 100% been in love with him since they were children (his actions while they were on the Roger pirates are the DEFINITION of pigtail-pulling as flirting) and he is just happy to see that he's safe while being exactly the same larger-than-life clown he always knew. He would gladly give up his life of sluttery (that I am convinced this man has. Just look at how he exists) if Buggy would just agree to join his crew, but will not push him if he doesn't want to. He just loves his pretty clown from a distance and waits. TLDR: Buggy is mad that he's in love with Shanks and Shanks just likes existing with and/or annoying Buggy (they come as a pair). GOD I just love childhood friends to lovers bro. Just let the cabin boys kiss.

[Spoiler Warning] Red and Blue gays! Emperor husbands! Childhood friends to enemies to lovers!

Propaganda for Perona x Uta:

Fuck it. If they have one fan, it’s me. All they needed was a 5 second interaction for promoting Film Red and they became real to me. Halloween and Valentine’s Day are girlfriends and they are kissing.

The daughter of shanks and the “daughter” of mihawk? Kissing? It’s more likely than you think

[bengiyo]

Tokyo in April is…: Ren Thought He Raped Kazuma for Ten Years

I apologize for the provocative title, but it’s something I want to unpack in this episode. As a Sad Gay Boy Who Watches Too Much Stuff, I want to get into the depths of the horror that Ren has lived with for ten years, and how it informs so much of his behaviors. I have a lot of complicated thoughts about this and will be using direct and sometimes-coarse language to talk about some of these ideas in this post. Please bear that in mind as you continue.

Trigger warnings: sexual assault, self-harm, suicide, child abuse, child disownment.

Ren is such a terribly tragic character. It’s been a long time since we had a gay character so completely unable to accept the love being poured onto him, and I think we need to get into why Ren is so incapable of love that he doesn’t even know how to cook.

It’s Mutual, But They’re Gay

Let’s start with everything through the aftermath of their first time.

We often see the trope of “It’s mutual, they’re just idiots.” I don’t think that applies here. Like with Lee Wan and Shin Ki Tae in Our Dating Sim, Wan didn’t conceive of a reality where Ki Tae reciprocated his feelings. Ren couldn’t ask Kazuma directly if he was also interested in him and had received indication from Kazuma that he was interested in girls.

In a spiral that he would never connect with Kazuma, a kind boy that he loves dearly, he decides to just get it over with and solicits sex from a stranger on the web.

Meanwhile, Kazuma has been nursing a crush on Ren this entire time, but he keeps second-guessing himself because every time Ren invites him somewhere, Ren also covers the fact that he’s angling to be alone with Kazuma by inviting other people around. When asked about girls, he gives the expected answer; we’re all men here, right? When he sees Ren going so far as to solicit sex online, he’s confused.

He chases the guy off, and declares that, if Ren has to do it, to do it with him.

Ren is always holding back with Kazuma, and it hangs over their first time. He apologizes that Kazuma’s first time is with him instead of a girl he might like, and Kazuma’s face drops. Ren asks if they can kiss, and quickly backs off the request. He remains completely still for the kiss, clearly scared of taking too much.

During the act, Kazuma gets overwhelmed with emotions about how the boy he admires so much is having his first time in such a seedy place. He begins to weep, and Ren interprets this as Kazuma being upset that he just did something so intimate with him. He thinks the favor he asked for hurt his friend.

Kazuma has no memory of anything after that night. He got deathly ill, and by the time he was cogent again Ren was gone. For Ren, the horrors are just beginning.

The Horrors

Before we get into this, I think it’s very clever of this show to frame the scenes in the past within this episode as coming from the memory of Ren. I think it gives them permission to go for style, and I think it makes filming easier for everyone. It allows things to be played kind of stilted.

The next morning, Ren realizes that something is wrong with Kazuma and he’s very sick. He does the responsible thing and calls for medical assistance. I can’t imagine how terrified he must have been at that moment. The boy he loves is dying, and now he’s got to tell the adults in his life that he might be the culprit and he’s been told that Kazuma might die. In his mind, he coerced Kazuma into sex, and in conjunction with his waiting around in the rain, enabled him to get deathly ill. A part of him probably wonders if he should have noticed something while they were intimate and sleeping next to each other.

gif by @save-the-data

He knows exactly what he’s admitting to, and still goes through with it. He doesn’t like. Kazuma’s life is more important to him than any consequences he might face. He says he forced Kazuma to have sex with him and reports on his lack of food intake, and then Kazuma’s mom slaps him and says to never appear before her son again. He is then summarily disowned by his family, forced to change his name, and sent away to France to be forgotten.

I think it should be noted here that Ren is a bottom. I can’t help but imagine the kind of images the adults int eh room must have conjured when he reported his actions. You know in their minds he forced himself inside of Kazuma as Kazuma struggled weakly. Could they have conceived of some sort of psychological coercion where Kazuma tops him? I don’t think so. They will never understand the sad disconnect between two boys who loved each other.

Seeing that he may never see Kazuma again, Ren has a terrifying moment involving a sharp tool. Thankfully, he fails, and goes to see Kazuma at the hospital. He breaks down crying as he apologizes to an unconscious Kazuma for liking him.

He begs Kazuma to live.

gifs by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

After this, he is sent to France, and Kazuma loses his old phone and his various Tokyo contacts.

That’s what Ren sat on for ten years. His last encounter with the first boy he loved was an emotionally confused sexual encounter followed by a terrifying health incident and ostracization from his family. He thought Kazuma regretted the entire exchange and almost died because of it. He believes he forced his friend to do something against his will. He thinks he raped his friend. He lost his family. He wears a wristband to hide his scars

That was the last ten years for him until he finds Kazuma’s box of research.

Ren Has Few Love Languages Left

Oh, but Kazuma is here! He was looking for him! Kazuma doesn’t regret what they did! He means exactly what he’s been saying this whole time. He missed Ren. He searched for him. It wasn’t just Ren. It wasn’t just in his head. He’s literally begging Ren to let him back in.

I cannot overstate how gentle it was for this show to follow up on such a heavy set of reveals by showing these two in a domestic bubble for most of the remaining episode. Still, I can’t get over how this forces us to see how stunted Ren is by the entire affair.

Ren doesn’t have much game. He doesn’t flirt with Kazuma that much. All he can do is spend time with him and seek reassurance and connection through sex. He doesn’t have a lot of other hobbies, so has no special places to share with Kazuma. He can’t make food for Kazuma to share his affection.

gif by @my-rose-tinted-glasses

So often in these Japanese shows, food itself is love. Unlike Kakei Shiro, Ren doesn’t know how to cook. He can’t express his affections back to Kazuma in that way. All he has is love of his shows and the ability to spend time with Kazuma. It’s at this point that their Friends With Benefits rules start to break down. Ren spends the next few days living with Kazuma. He doesn’t want to leave him anymore.

gif by @my-rose-tinted-glasses

They start cooking together and feeding each other food. As a gay man, I’m choosing to read them both feeding each other in a sexual context. We get Kazuma’s voice over saying, “Nothing else mattered. You’re the only thing that’s important to me, Ren,” as Ren smiles at a sleeping Kazuma and strokes his face.

These two are doing so much better that their coworker comments on how good they both have been looking lately!

Final Thoughts

My only goal with this was to write down how deeply sad Ren made me in this past episode. We see so many gays in these shows that are Shiny and Chrome. I find myself often drawn to the gay men in these shows who have suffered, because I have suffered. I carry old wounds on my soul from the gay disappointments of my youth. For all the spectacular sex that these two are having, I am struck with the deep sadness that Ren is just now learning how to express love to someone.

I know what it’s like to feel like you’ve hurt someone because of a misunderstanding and know that you will never be able to do anything to make it right. I know what it’s like to be young and love a boy and think that he doesn’t love you back only to later be told that he was interested. It hurts. It is a permanent ache you feel in the joints in your hands.

I get Ren. I am rooting for him.

[realhousewives-fan]

Honorable Mentions of 2023

The Bravo year 2023 was actually full of interesting and memorable moments. It was a good year for Bravo.

Not everything could make the top list, but these are the honorable mentions of the year 2023.

1. Raquel's Betrayal of Sandoval

After everything was said and done with the reunion, Raquel Leviss surprised everybody by returning to Bravo for a final time to say her truth – and by doing that, she betrayed Tom Sandoval.

She revealed how he had wanted them to lie about their affair, and it was eating at her. She knew that if she betrayed him now, she would have no one.

She didn’t reveal any shocking details, but she admitted what everybody already knew: Sandoval’s a liar.

2. Guerdy Has Breast Cancer!

Guerdy Abraira’s scary breast cancer diagnosis is something that has gripped me, but it’s probably because she’s so scared, vulnerable, and raw about it.

Seeing the way her husband Russell Abraira is taking care of her and supporting her, bring me to tears.

But another reason, though it’s an unfortunate one, why her cancer journey is so upsetting to me, is that as soon as she had told Larsa Pippen about it, Larsa told everyone!

And she had no remorse about doing it either. That’s mind-blowingly rude!

3. Monica's Affair with Brother-in-Law!

When the newbie Monica Garcia revealed that she’d had an 18-month long affair with her brother-in-law, I was so shocked. Talking about owning your own skeletons in your closet!

Monica was sharing a lot about her struggles and her toxic relationship with her mother, but one of the scenes that stood out to me was this little bomb.

4. Tamra Wanted to Destroy Heather

RHOC had such an entertaining season this year, but I wasn’t exactly thrilled to have Tamra Judge back. It was obvious she had an agenda and she wanted to take Heather Dubrow down.

As her numerous attempts failed time after time, it became quite tiresome. But at the end of the day, the joke was on her.

5. Denise at Kyle's Weed Dinner

Denise Richards’ behaviour at Kyle Richards’ Weed Dinner was bizarre from start to finish.

She broke the fourth wall and talked about You Know Who, made absurd faces and made no sense whatsoever.

On top of it all she confronted Erika Girardi about something and wore her jacket upside down. She had a busy night.

6. Mary's Confrontation in the Van

RHOSLC truly had one of their best seasons ever, and their chaotic trip to Palm Springs was the gift that kept on giving.

After Heather Gay had gotten drunk on Espresso Martinis, and Meredith Marks had mistaken a waiter for security, Mary Cosby and Whitney Rose got into it in the van.

While Heather tried to stay alive, she was able to help Mary with the right word.

7. Gina Called Shannon an Alcoholic

After Gina Kirschenheiter learned what Shannon Beador had said about her kids and DUI, she’d had enough and said that she needed to check herself into rehab!

“If you can say things that are that fucking hurtful and not even remember that you said it, you need to go check yourself into rehab. And then when you do, and you get to the ‘I’m fucking sorry’ step, I’ll be waiting for that apology.”

Was she wrong, though? Shannon was arrested for hit and run DUI after the reunion was filmed.

8. A Room without a Bathtub!

This image of Meredith is probably how I felt leaving the year 2023. It had been a rough year, maybe for all of us.

But Meredith is just very unintentional funny to me. She was so emotional and dramatic about her near death experience where she almost drove off a cliff.

The editors kind of ridiculed her turmoil, but I also found it a little funny.

Another unintentionally funny moment for me was when she accidentally took two sleeping pills on their flight to Bermuda and was so out of it, she couldn’t secure herself a decent room.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned that Meredith loves, it’s her bathtub. And the fact that she was furious that no one would give up their room for her, made me laugh a little bit.

9. Dorit Called Erika a Bitch!

In the premiere of season 13 Dorit Kemsley confronted Erika about her mean comment about her marriage at BravoCon in 2022.

As Erika said she as a showman simply gave the fans what they wanted, Dorit had this to say in her confessional:

“Standing up, going to the center stage, delivering the line, and then flipping her hair, coming back and feeling very good about herself — that’s not a showman. That’s a bitch.”

I thought that maybe shady Dorit was back, but then it quickly turned out to be a little too much, as she belittled Garcelle Beauvais’ feelings and implied that Sutton Stracke had a drinking problem.

It’s fair to say that shady Dorit is back, but at what cause?

10. Alexa, Open Refrigerator!

The reboot of RHONY was entertaining and interesting, but it had also fun moments.

And when Brynn Whitfield couldn’t figure out Erin Lichy’s refrigerator in the Hamptons, she tried to open it by asking Alexa to open the refrigerator.

Brynn was the breakout star of RHONY, but Jessel Taank and Jenna Lyons also became huge fan favourites. It showed promise.  

[onomatopoeia-core]

being a “trailblazer”/ the first out trans person in a place fucking sucks for a lot of reasons. but the actual worst part for me is that after all the shit i went through being out on my homophobic ass christian campus, two years later no one remembers that i was the first to come out to professors. first trans person to be recognized by their chosen name in a school production, first person to have pronouns in their signature, first put trans person to hold a campus job and go by their chosen name/prnouns. none of that!!

what everyone fucking remembers me as is an Evil Problematic Gay based on the fact that someone spread lies about me that can’t be disproven without sharing secrets that aren’t mine to tell

so two years later, the gay kids on that campus, when they hear my name, they scrunch their noses or roll their eyes bc they believe stuff about me that is false - which i don’t blame them for! they don’t know the truth!

and the girl that told lies about me gets to star in a short film made by the very gay people i paved the way for - PLAYING A CHARACTER BASED ON ETHEL CAIN - this girl that NEVER ONCE GENDERED ME CORRECTLY is playing one of my most treasured fictional characters/trans artists

and even though the shit i suffered through made that short film possible, the people making it think i’m a terrible person. bc this homophobe got the last word.

and i’m so glad the art is getting made and if i had to go back in time and do it all again, i would do it exactly the same. but lord. it fucking sucks.

[mollymauksboi]

Signals and Curiosities | Robin Buckley x Fem!Reader

this fic is dedicated to my wonderful friend austen. i hope you like it dewdrop 🥰

word count: 1,116

(no use of y/n, sfw. fluffy romance)

You had been a frequent customer to Scoops Ahoy and Family Video for a number of years, partially because you liked their selections of films and delicious ice cream, but mostly because you loved to see one particular woman. Robin Buckley. You had admired her from afar for some time before gathering the courage to approach and try to befriend her, and was surprised to see that while quite awkward, she was incredibly friendly. You had yet to come out of the closet to most people around you since it wasn’t exactly the most accepted thing here in Hawkins, but here and there you would send little signals to Robin, mostly to see if she was queer like you. And once again, much to your surprise you had finally found another gay. Now, the real problem was finding out if she was into women, and from there taking your shot.

It had been a nice sunny day in the town, the sun was setting over the horizon which set the sky ablaze with beautiful pinks, purples and oranges. Hawkins was shutting down for the night, all except for Family Video, which was open for a little while longer. Taking a deep breath and pushing your black locks from your face, you stepped inside the video store and looked around for a few films, hoping that whatever you picked might intrigue the beautiful brunette behind the counter and it could be your ticket to asking her on a date at yours that night. Steve had finally encouraged you to go for it since he had let it slip accidentally during a conversation that Robin was in fact, a Lesbian. After taking a little bit to pick out a few classic horror movies like Halloween, Friday the 13th and The Fog, you decided to gather up your courage before it was too late and walked right up to the counter.

“Good evening Robin, how’s the shift been? Stevie annoying the hell out of you yet?”

You asked with a soft laugh, to which the brunette laughed along with you.

“It’s been good so far, and yes.. Always. He’s SO annoying~”

Robin playfully jokes, earning a whine and protesting from the boy, which in turn had you both giggling as Robin rang up the price for renting the three films.

“Good choice in movies. I especially loved Halloween”

She commented with a smile, giving you the total in which you promptly paid for.

“Really? It’s actually mine too.”

You took a second, looking at Steve who gave you a thumbs up and smiled sheepishly at Robin.

“Actually, I was kinda hoping that you might be free for a bit tonight? I’d love to watch it with you”

You watched as Robin for a moment stared up into your doe brown eyes in shock before her cheeks turned a light red. Were you asking her on a movie date?

“Y-yeah sure! Uh..”

Looking to Steve, Robin gave him a pleading look, to which the boy shooed her away, telling her he had closing covered but she owed him big time for letting her run off on a date.Grinning, you watched as the brunette quickly grabbed her coat, hopping over the counter and grabbed the little bag of movies for you. With that, you both bid your farewells to Steve and walked back to your home.

“I’ve got plenty of snacks and some pop, I’ll let you head upstairs and get settled. Make yourself at home okay?”

You told Robin which room was yours and asked if she could get the movie started for you two while you made a large bowl of popcorn and grabbed two sodas for the both of you to drink. It only took you a few minutes to get everything ready and head to your bedroom where you spotted Robin on your bed, just having gotten the movie to the opening credits. You dimmed the lights, hopped up onto your bed and placed the bowl in front of you both and with that, the movie began.

Neither of you were very scared of the film since you’d both watched it several times, knowing where the jumpscares were and were even laughing at some parts where you know the characters should have been smarter about what they did in that situation before getting caught by Myers.

“What an idiot!”

You laughed, facepalming a little as you watched one of the girls run straight into Myers, only for Robin to burst into giggles, leaning her head against your shoulder as she agreed. The contact made you freeze in place, your heart began to pound wildly inside your ribcage. She was so close.. And gods above did she smell nice too. Setting down your drink, you brushed some of her locks from her face and smiled down at her.

“You are so damn beautiful, Birdy”

You complimented Robin, both of you began to blush immediately. Where the hell did that surge of confidence come from? Well… Robin didn’t seem to mind at all, in fact she sat up and cupped your cheeks, giving you no warning nor any time to prepare for what came next as her lips pressed firmly against yours. They were soft, a lot softer than you had ever imagined and she tasted so sweet..Immediately, your lips moved in tandem with hers, fitting perfectly together as if you two were truly meant to be. Everything around you faded away until it was just the two of you, fireworks bursting in brightly lit colours behind your closed eyes while your hands found purchase against Robin's waist and pulled her into your lap. Abandoning all thought of the movie still playing in the background, the two of you kissed heatedly for some time until you needed to pull away for a much needed break of air.

Resting your head against hers, you gently rubbed your noses together in a butterfly kiss, rubbing little circles into the woman's skin.

“I love you, Robin…”

You murmur softly, brown eyes fluttering open to meet hers, in which the flustered mess of a woman above you pecked your lips once more.

“I love you too..”

Having lost all interest in the movie, the two of you curled beneath the blankets of your bed, talking into the wee hours of the morning, laughing, cuddling and just loving each other until you both eventually drifted off into a peaceful slumber within the other’s arms.

What had started off as any other night renting movies to cure your boredom and yet another excuse to see Robin again had ended in the most wonderful way you could have ever imagined. It was perfect.

She was perfect…

[moonfurthetemmie]

once again I am learning more history from my fucking college music program that’s meant to be about music and sound shit than my actual history classes in elementary-high school

Tonight I actually got to hear what exactly the Stonewall riot was, beyond it being police vs queer people.

And I am fairly confident in its accuracy because my professor this month has said MANY times over the course that he could actively cut things out of the videos he showed us if they were factually incorrect.

Stonewall, the place itself, was a club. It was a club were mostly gay people gathered, at a time where there couldn’t be gay clubs. And when the police showed up to ‘put a stop to it’, the club goers decided they were sick of all this and fought back.

And ever since queer people have been getting louder and louder.

And it…reminded me of another documentary I watched earlier this month. Just last week, I think. There was a producer or engineer, I can’t remember anymore with my goldfish memory, but she was very very good at what she did and she was mentioned briefly, as they talked about how electronic music was getting started.

She was introduced as “Wendy - then Walt(er) [last name] -“ and then they continued with what she was doing. I wish I could remember her whole name, or what exactly her job was, but after a bit of narration it switched to someone being interviewed and the guy said “Wendy, or Walt, at the time; I never quite worked out what that was about-“

And that was it. And we continued on. I bet I could tell you what that was about, but mayhaps Wendy never told anyone explicitly. Maybe Wendy never labeled herself. Maybe she didn’t know the words to describe it! But there was no judgment or snide remarks or anything. Just acknowledgment and then moving on.

Later on in that same documentary, a band member was talking about how adding a couple of girls to their group would help them reach a larger audience. Saying that up until that point, they were only listened to by guys. And then he goes “…and transvestites.”

Again, with…no judgement. It was just like saying ‘Hispanic and Jewish people tended to listen to Latin music most’ earlier in the course. It was just There. Just a note. No undertone of distaste or hatred, just ‘oh, and also this.’ And then we moved on!

Is transvestite a slur? Was it a slur at the time? Fuck man I don’t know, but they were all slurs at one point. All the words we use for queer people.

But he didn’t say it with any derogatory, and he may not have had any other word for trans people.

And I am! So glad. That those were there. Just a little nod to them. The fact that they didn’t leave Wendy out for being trans (almost definitely). The fact that the band guy was so chill about having trans people make up a notable portion of their fans. The fact that they didn’t leave out Stonewall.

Wendy in particular touches me. Because these were both British documentaries, and while these were filmed years ago, the fucking miasma of transphobia and shit from over yonder, that drains me emotionally every time I think about it, makes this touch in a different way. The documentary didn’t leave her out for what she was. They didn’t make any shitty remarks to comments about her, or the band guy’s fans being trans. They just moved on.

Even with as loud as the transphobia is I know not everyone in the UK is like that, but documentaries aren’t usually made by small groups of people working independently, are they? But whatever network they worked for let them leave it in.

Maybe we can at least get back to that. And god I hope we can get even better.

And my instructor? He’s an older white man. And being terminally online I do not expect much or any tolerance or acceptance of these things from older white men. I know they’re not all bigoted assholes, but I’m sort of conditioned to prepare myself for it, for lack of better words

But he didn’t cut them out either.

These documentaries were uploaded to a site specifically for the school, for students to watch. He absolutely could’ve cut them out. And he didn’t. He left them. He’s been teaching here for twenty years and has altered the course several times he had so many opportunities to edit them out and he didn’t.

idk something something finding a little hope and light in a time when I only ever hear bad news

[notmuchtoconceal]

Keep referring to Michael Fassbender as Fassbinder cause I haven't actually seen a lot of German movies, and he's my primary point of familiarity.

Love is Colder Than Death (Liebe ist kalter als der Tod) aside from being the greatest title ever attached to a film is so clearly a zero budget German Breathless knock-off held together by sheer passionate striving, I will always love it.

I fucking love humble beginnings like this, where an artist is following a clear lead, but doesn't need to be defined by it cause he ain't a bitch more concerned with artificially inflating or distinguishing himself as a form of covert self-sabotage. Boo hoo. Woe is me! I'm not good enough to be the author of my own life and work with people to create real stories which have a life in people's hearts and national markets.

God, when I was like 22, or 23 this fucking dude who was maybe 18 or 19 and dated a girl the same age as me when I was 14 (meaning he was 27 or 28 at the time) wanted me to finish the screenplay for a film he was making, since I was a writer and he evidently wasn't. Apparently he knew I had zero interest in ghostwriting his sub-Kevin Smith style dreck (Kevin Smith being uneven in that Joss Whedon-y way, where his craftsmanship can be middling, but his best works come from the heart, while his weakest rely on stylistic trademarks as advertised) so he had to sucker me in somehow. He told me, and I quote, that he wanted to see "my version" of his film.

He knew he was appealing to my narcissism to entice me, treating me like a collaborator, when in fact, he wanted to scrub every original idea I brought, keep the skelton of the story I filled out, and you know... maybe, maybe keep some of the jokes I added, if they weren't too gay. (Gay jokes in the mind of straight dudes are always deflections, dares, forms of impotent negotiation.)

So I held him to it. Being primarily a prose stylist with a novelistic sensibility, I was aware of certain structural differences between a novel and film plot, and I figured I'd just learn by doing. I figured writing a screenplay would help me improve my dialogue, a feature of my writing I wasn't confident in at the time. I had a month, and editing and polishing is often the most time-intensive part of writing, and I didn't really feel any of his characters, or understand the heart of his story, so I figured...

Yeah, just go for it. Write way too much. Take those unnecessary detours. See what the characters do. Experiment. Play around. Have fun. Once it's done, and you see where it went, you'll have the shape of the whole in mind. Once you have the essence of the characters, you can distill that and streamline their portrayal. Basically, it was the type of bloated but fascinating hybrid work you typically get when having novelists write screenplays, or see in writer/directors who operate more novelistically.

This dude fucking hated it.

Sure, it ended up being three hundred pages, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was I made it mine. The problem was I did exactly what he fucking said he wanted, but he was acting in bad faith, trying to manipulate me and it blew up in his face

I told this fucker "Yeah, I know it's long. Just give it a read. Got a pretty good idea of what needs to be cut, and can deffo get this under 120 pages."

Cause, uh... You know. It ain't fuckin hard to figure out what's necessary. I admit and take delight in dense, maximalist styles, though also -- I equally delight in an understated poetic minimalism. I really admire lean, athletic works with all the fat trimmed off. All I asked this fucker was to read the screenplay he asked me to write a single-time, then talk to me about it. Man to man. As a fellow artist.

That was too fuckin hard for him. He immediately got defensive and frightened and protective of the work he asked to make mine (as though his version somehow didn't still exist in the draft he sent me). He accused me of trying to steal his film from him, as he would exasperatingly whine "If we can get it down to time!" as though dragging a mouse cursor over redundant scenes I wrote to amuse myself and hitting delete were somehow an insurmountable labor. It was like ... you want to keep all the work I did, but you don't like any of the work I did?

Like, I figured we'd sit down in the same room at some point and discuss the changes, or our differing views of the characters, or the heart of the story, or uh... At least have an email correspondence.

Nope. Totally clammed up. Ass cemented shut.

Started to gradually exclude me more and more from the production, as if he now needed to reassert his sole personal vision after asking to see mine, while also feeling overwhelmed by the mess I lead him into it. He seemed to want to film without a complete screenplay, which would be a production nightmare, cause what if you rewrote a scene and then needed to refilm something? Like, usually you go into a lengthy cost-consumptive task like shooting a film with a firm foundation, but nah. Maybe I was expecting too much by asking him to read? I was experiencing the pure childlike joy of creation and excited to make a movie, but I guess I was just way too fucking intimidating for him.

At the time, I felt so spurned and neglected, nearly heartbroken. I didn't know where this was coming from. My assumption was he'd be able to tell what was and wasn't relevant to his version of the story, but I was also likely expecting too much by thinking he was interested in story. Directing and starring in a movie was apparently a pure power fantasy with the aim to capitalize on known cultural fixtures to receive attention from an established ego mass because his story didn't have any heart, and he didn't have a soul. He didn't want to finish the movie because he didn't want to be recognized, being nothing, so he found a convenient way to make me an insurmountable obstacle hampering him from his hopeless dreams.

I know what I like, and I love what I do. I'm still overjoyed to create, and I'd like to create more with people, but tiny dicks and big egos seem to get in the way, many it seems not wanting to create for the right reasons, they themselves being unmade.

Anyhoo, you can clearly see how the follow-up in this collection, Katzelmacher connects to Fassbinder's theatrical roots, it very much having the feel of a filmed stage play, with minimal character and camera movement, but plenty of dialogue. I confess, the only other film in this set I can remember much of is The American Soldier (Der amerikanische Soldat) mostly for its haunting score and boffo finale. It was the first time I felt Fassbinder's aesthetic sense cohere into something unique and memorable, where I could begin to see his influence on someone like Tarantino.

I confess, a huge part of why I immediately loved Inglourious Basterds was I had just gone on a major Godard binge and it felt like seeing a French New Wave film in a multiplex, what with half of it being subtitled and all the fourth-wall breaking artifice.

Breathless remains a weird, hilarious, absolutely intoxicating noir film, with a tone absolutely true to its title. Jean-Paul Belmondo is a hot af boxing stud and I love him running around in a fedora doing a Humphrey Bogart impersonation. I remember my high school film studies professor, Mr. Costigan (who filled that class as a labor of love, and was also my yearbook and drama instructor) thinking it "didn't hold up" after he showed it to me, and frankly I just felt he didn't remember how to be young.

Anyway, now I'm talking about French movies. We all know the reputation of French movies, but tell me bro. How many fuckin French movies have you actually seen? Do you let the idea of other people's masturbatory pretensions close your heart to the sublime? Is nothing worth doing cause you're spending all your time posing as someone who isn't a poseur? God. Isn't it fucking exhausting, living up to the ultimate pretension of agreeable normalcy?

Imagine being the type of fucking twerp who feels a twinge of resentment and rage at someone else owning Criterion movies cause you think you can pass for a sophisticate with your consumer choices.

When I first got into fucking film, streaming wasn't a thing and I pirated everything, like constantly. I would download five or six films a night, then watch them on my shitty laptop in the dark. I fucking both felt bad for stealing, and also, yeah -- wanted to watch the films uncompressed and on a real television. There was a lot of fucking shit I would "steal" -- not only music and movies, but property, energy, souls. I'd felt I was on a largely invisible redemption arc, for ultimately my own moral integrity amounted to nothing but a private daydream in an amoral world, as if my attitudes weren't shaping my reality. To me, supporting the creators of the artworks I admired once I had the means to do so (even if it was largely symbolic) mattered more than how I'd appear for buying things cause shit's how it is, not how it looks.

[rhombology]

for the ask game: 1-35

fuk u

what is your nickname?

lol at work a couple people call me "gay-aron," which is a play on A-Aron, and "twink" which is indubitably true

2. when is your birthday?

february 20 :)

3. what was your longest relationship?

3 years and 3 months

4. what is your favorite book?

uhhh imma say the song of achilles

5. what is something you're insecure about?

honestly just my general appearance

6. 5 male celebrity crushes

avan jogia, pedro pascal, michael cimino, matt bomer, bbno$

7. 5 female celebrity crushes

keira knightley 5 times

8. what is your dream job?

i would love to just play video games for a living lmaoo or something with animals maybe

9. what do you consider your biggest accomplishment?

i think graduating college with a 4.0 was pretty cool but even better was that i chose to be a cook immediately after that

10. what is a fact about you that nobody would believe?

i've never had lobster or crab

11. what were your highs and lows for this last month?

getting the teet yeet was definitely a high but the lows of recovering alone haven't been great

12. where is somewhere you'd like to visit?

i'd like to visit the arctic someday so i can see the northern lights and the stars without light pollution

13. how do you de-stress?

i like playing games where you do mindless chores, like powerwash simulator, american truck simulator, etc

14. what are your favorite apps besides tumblr?

pokemon go lol and instagram for the reels

15. describe yourself in one sentence.

stupid gay cowboy that loves cats and falls in love with any guy who is vaguely nice to him

16. what do you think makes you attractive?

dumptruck

17. what is something you're really good at?

i don't struggle with autism, i'm actually really good at it

18. what is something you're really bad at?

not being a clingy simp

19. a time that you told a lie.

i honestly can't think of anything lmao

20. what's a totally random and useless fact that you know?

giraffes have blue tongues so they don't get sunburn when they're eating leafies

21. who knows you the best?

prolly my best friend

22. what is your most prized possession?

my pc i think, it's super rainbow and i built it myself

23. what is your longest friendship?

i've known my childhood best friend since kindergarten

24. when did you first feel like an adult?

dude i'm 24 and i don't feel like an adult and i don't think i ever will

25. do you/have you played any sports?

yea i used to play soccer when i was a kid

26. how are you feeling right now?

eepy

27. are you an early bird or a night owl?

definitely a night owl

28. do you believe in love at first sight?

maybe not love exactly but there's definitely like "special connection" at first sight

29. favorite song lyrics right now?

"lightning in our fingertips today / i jump each time you touch me / always on the upswing, baby"

30. what does self care look like for you?

lots of sugar and one of my comfort films/shows

31. describe yourself with 3 singers.

hozier, gregory alan isakov, ben schneider

32. what makes you nervous?

talking to new people :')

33. what's a pet peeve you have?

people who just like don't clean up after themselves

34. what will always make you cry?

the ending of brokeback mountain

35. what kind of first impression do you think you make on people?

i think people see me as a shy gay weirdo lmao

[denimbex1986]

'If All of Us Strangers managed to reach inside you and grab at that gooey centre, then I’m genuinely truly happy it did. It’s special to have a film that you’ve connected with, especially enough to make you cry, and I understand when your relationship with a film is strong enough to make you resistant to criticism. I don’t believe a film being about sensitive issues absolves it of criticism, though, and I will criticise, so you’ve been warned.

All of Us Strangers is a film about loneliness. Our protagonist Adam is a gay man living in London alone, with no friends, no partner, and no family. He is still heavily grieving the loss of his parents to a car crash when he was twelve. We have clichéd circumstances already, but that’s not my main issue at all. If the exploration of Adam’s grief wasn’t addressed so heavy-handedly, I would be more forgiving of this basic premise.

The thing is, Haigh is afraid you’re going to forget the film is about loneliness. Many scenes deal too transparently with the fact that Adam has been practically alone his whole life. “I can’t even begin to imagine how lonely you must have been”, Harry says to Adam after learning of his deceased parents. This line, in essence, encapsulates the film. Adam’s loneliness consumes him to the extent that he can’t connect with others. Later, his ghost-mother remarks how being gay is “a lonely kind of life”. Adam replies, “If I am [lonely], it’s not because I’m gay. Not really”, reminding us again how lonely he is. It’s an engaging concept on paper: the specific loneliness that comes with being gay, paired with the loneliness of losing parents at a young age, but there’s a lack of trust in the viewer’s ability to understand obvious themes, which produces dialogue that feels clunky, dramatic, and wholly unrealistic.

In this, Haigh loses the subtlety that All of Us Strangers so badly craves. There’s nothing abstract about Haigh’s vision; it’s as if he’s frightened of being unobvious, of allowing for interpretations. And I don’t mean the practical interpretations of whether or not Adam is hallucinating, seeing ghosts, etc. I mean emotional interpretations; the script is emotionally manipulative to the viewer. Characters say exactly what they feel when they feel it, which in turn means viewers are being told exactly what to feel and when, instead of the film working to elicit emotions naturally. It’s over-reliant on delivering emotional beats and the predictability of this becomes arduous. Andrew Scott might as well have broken the fourth wall several times just to let the audience know they should be sad at this part, by the way.

All of this builds to a resolution that is undeserved. And here’s where I’ll get a bit more spoiler-y, so tread carefully. All of Us Strangers purports to be a queer story but ultimately falls victim to the over-used trope of gay tragedy. We are told that Adam, having finally gained closure for his parents' death through their ghostly hallucinatory presence, is a lot more mentally unwell than we previously thought. He is lonely, yes, but he is also sick, guilty, and not at all on the road to recovery like viewers would have assumed — completely undermining his journey up until this point.

There’s a trauma-porn element to the plot twist, a question of how much more this man can go through, can suffer. I would never argue that it should have ended happily, or that gay characters must always be happy and sane because that’s antithetical to storytelling as a whole. But I question what the film was trying to demonstrate about this experience, about this loneliness brought on through guilt and grief. Adam is not a good nor a bad person, he is a character built on his delusions, living in a world separate from others, the only true character in the story. But unlike similar cinematic characters, his illusion has a sense of meaninglessness. Suddenly, through this plot twist, the trauma Adam has spent the duration of his arc processing isn’t even the point of the film. It’s rendered purposeless in the face of a deeper, darker delusion.

What struck me when thinking about this was the lost story thread of Adam’s screenplay, which is swallowed by the developing plot and never revisited. Is Harry a character in it, too? He was originally writing about his parents, which prompted him to fall into his mind and fantasise about them in the first place. It’s not good criticism to think of what could have been instead of focusing on what’s there, but I can’t help but feel cheated out of a story connecting Adam’s grief and coping mechanisms to his desire to create. An artist forcing himself to process trauma for his art, to assemble fake realities to right the desolate world he resides within. The film had room for additional exploration of this theme (or any other theme, really), but it gets so wrapped up in its commentary on loneliness and the twist that it forgets to generate any other ideas.

For all my complaints and dislike of All of Us Strangers, all performances are fantastic, and Haigh sure knows his way around a camera. The scene in the nightclub is electric, dizzying, with bursting neon light. A scene of Adam alone on the London tube is harrowing; reduced to a child again, alone, lost, and afraid. When Adam first sees his father’s ghostly figure across a field, there’s a genuine sense of unease and peril. Scenes without dialogue stun with their keen eye for light, space, and movement. There is an originality hiding in All of Us Strangers, lost to the sparsity of its message and the hollowness of its emotional centre.'

[some-anonymity-preferred]

Good Omens Is Sexier On Tumblr

I'm a Good Omens book fan if anything. As in, I first read the book maybe twenty-five years ago, and it became a comfort object for a long time. That ended, eventually, when I finally stopped being able to take having to enjoy it past certain racist, misogynist, and homophobic "jokes" in the text. And then I kind of forgot about it.

I only watched the first series for the first time a couple of weeks ago, round about when series two dropped. I didn't mind the spoilers. In fact, Tumblr is what made me decide it might be worth my time. (We'll come back to that.)

Not just Tumblr meta and gifsets, but also comparisons to Our Flag Means Death, which is 1000% my jam. So I dove in.

The first gut punch was nearly immediate. Casting Black actors as Adam and Eve? Brilliant. Perfect. No notes. Leaving intact Aziraphale's line that he told them "not to let the sun set on them" in Eden? I very nearly quit. I did pause, discuss it with my partner, and get us a drink.

And then... Good Omens continued to be Good Omens. With many, but not all, of the problematic bits, removed or altered.

And filmed with very British pacing. And blocking.

My partner left the viewing project after s1e3. As we turned it off for the night, I said, "It's like OFMD in that it's two older male-presenting actors in a reality-adjacent workplace comedy/opposites-attract rom com. But with all of the actual cute, sappy flirting replaced by painfully repressed bickering."

Foremost, that's because of how the source material treats homosexuality and gender identity: as a joke at best, with disdain at worst. Never with respect. Which could not be farther from what OFMD does if it tried.

That Neil Gaiman Is the writer adapting it for television does not help. Gaiman is no queer ally and never has been. Even leaning into the fandom that grew up around Crowley/Aziraphale feels tone deaf and like a cash grab.

Then there's the acting, and the directorial guidelines I can only assume Sheen and Tennant are working within. Michael Sheen acts his mf-ing ass off at all times, and I love it. David Tennant. I should love him. I mostly don't. Particularly not as present-day Crowley (barring the break-up scene), and not as Victorian Crowley either. Other historical Crowleys I'm kind of into, but those two are just so ... manic? Abrasive in ways that don't seem to serve the development of the relationship? Maybe they would make more sense if less of the relationship were left to subtext, but--there's still so much left to subtext.

And yes, I get that the whole problem that our angel and demon have is that they never say what's really on their minds. Their exactlies are different. They talk past each other. They talk in code. (Which is poignantly gay, yes, but only if you know to look for it. Subtext. The actual text doesn't give us much to work with there--just a couple hooks just barely big enough for us to hang our own knowledge on.)

Which, for me, results in the feeling that, despite The Kiss, Good Omens still treads thisclose to queerbaiting.

I think that's largely on Gaiman. With healthy side servings weirdly distant blocking, even when the actors are touching, and with a camera that lingers longer on jokes that fall flat than on the emotional beats in the central romance.

Huge, huge thanks to all the Tumblrinas who post GO meta. I don't think you're reaching, I think so much of what you've written is great. I wouldn't have enjoyed the show very much at all--I certainly would not have made it through the whole thing--without you. I do think that Gaiman is going to mine some of your work, should there be a series 3, and continue to cock it up.

And huge thanks to the Tumblrinas who make and post gifsets that let us linger on what the tv camera won't. You're doing god's work.

In short, Good Omens is sexier on Tumblr.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[onepiece-polls]

One Piece Shipping War - Round 2 Side D

Propaganda under the cut.

Propaganda for Shanks x Buggy:

What if we were childhood friends who gave up our drama for each other then never saw each other again for years

What can I say, I'm a fellow shuggy truther too 🤝

Shanks obviously adores Buggy, and Buggy is so tsundure~! Mr 'I hate Shanks'-but-will-take-every-opportunity-to-talk-about-him-and-be-with-him.

Oden says in his journal that he can't tell if they're friends of enemies, and I just love that. Plus when you add in the revelation about Shanks and Buggy in the recent chapters.

They're childhood friends. They're exes. They've been married for 20 years. They're opposites. They're the same. They're silly goofy guys who make me want to cry my heart out. Red/Blue is always meant to be.

Buggy """""HATES""""" Shanks. This hate is so strong that he WILL yell at this red-haired bastard despite the fact that he is a coward, who is terrified of all the Emperors. Everyone thinks this is strange. However, when you grow up with said Emperor on the same boat, watching him stumble over his feet as he's trying to learn to use a sword, stuck scrubbing the whole deck because he was stupid enough to prank "Dark King" Rayleigh, and make that same stupid pouty face every time his Conqueror's Haki doesn't do anything because he is an itty bitty child, most of that fear gets pretty quelled. Also, that same fucker lost an arm because he's a DUMBASS and he deserves to be made fun of for it (not because Buggy is worried and missed him not at all no no Shanks is just DUMB and needs to be TOLD he is dumb more. But just by Buggy. Because Buggy has known his idiocy forever. He has earned the right to yell at this stupid, stupid Emperor for being a self-sacrificing fool and for giving away that stupid hat and... Wait, hang on, when did this bastard get hot!? WHAT THE FUC-) And Shanks just keeps smiling at Buggy and his antics because he has 100% been in love with him since they were children (his actions while they were on the Roger pirates are the DEFINITION of pigtail-pulling as flirting) and he is just happy to see that he's safe while being exactly the same larger-than-life clown he always knew. He would gladly give up his life of sluttery (that I am convinced this man has. Just look at how he exists) if Buggy would just agree to join his crew, but will not push him if he doesn't want to. He just loves his pretty clown from a distance and waits. TLDR: Buggy is mad that he's in love with Shanks and Shanks just likes existing with and/or annoying Buggy (they come as a pair). GOD I just love childhood friends to lovers bro. Just let the cabin boys kiss.

[Spoiler Warning] Red and Blue gays! Emperor husbands! Childhood friends to enemies to lovers!

Propaganda for Shanks x Benn:

Daddies hot

A (somewhat) idiot captain, and a calm, cool and collected first mate! Oda literally stated that if Shanks was the sun, then Benn would be his moon. They balance each other out very nicely and I know that one will always take care of the other.

Classic captain/first mate ship. Beckman got all white hair at 50 for dealing with Shanks I know that. There's a part in film Red when Beckman calls Uta "our daughter" that activated my monkey brain.

Your honor they are married! The domestic fluff is all there. Benn loves his captain even though he is a handful and is always there to support him. Shanks has also followed in his parents footsteps and honoring the tradition of falling in love with your first mate. But I mean honestly can you blame him. Plus they raised a kid together!

SHANKSBENN!