#this felt different
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actually listened to owl city's newest (i think?) song, the tornado, cause people on tiktok kept on going feral about the bit in the middle (and then the nightmare started etc.) (which fucking slaps)
and im just in actual tears cause
no one really talked about literally. everything else afterwards
"That was when I saw my family with my eyes shut real tight / Would they know how much I loved them if this was how I died? / No, I vowed I'd not be murdered by a monster in the sky that night" ??
"it's always darkest before the dawn / So I kept hanging on" ????
"I blinked a tear back 'cause I felt lucky to be alive" ??????
"And that was how I learned to live when you can run but you can't hide / How to feel trapped in a tunnel but come out the other side / 'Cause with all the stormy weather in the world, you learn / To take life one storm at a time, you don't have to be afraid / And now when there's bad weather on the way, I stay calm / And I keep hanging on because it's always darkest before the dawn" ???????????????????
i mean, yea, its tiktok. but i cant believe the song has ALL OF THIS, and people fixated on that one bit, it kinda feels like a disservice
i was like "oh that sounds like a new direction for him" and then the whole staying hopeful bit started and i was like "oh. yeah. there he is."
#im just rambling dont mind me#i just. i heard that bit so much on tiktok and i was like huh ! he does talk about heavy topics in some songs but#this felt different#and i was right! it is different! because thats not all of what the song is about!#i thought id have another song to add to my depression list for when i feel like shit#and instead it gives me comfort and strength and hope#but then again thats why i love owl city.#Charlie chatters
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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happy booping! 🐾
#and happy halloween!! 🦇#dick grayson#damian wayne#daminyan#dynamic duo 2.0: what would you do without me?#booping and kneading are v different things but. kneading cute 😔#felt fitting to do beast world art for this year and the return of boops was perfect timing 😭#will return to my vampire Damian roots tho haha i miss him!!#also first time making a gif so not sure if the quality is just always Like That lol
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"We Myrmidons are not the sentimental type."
#referenced patroclus' armor from the 3d model since the subtle differences between the two felt like a nice visual touch#anyway hi hello the brainworms grabbed me momentarily after playing the game for a week straight more or less#really adored the way they were written here or how the game in general dealt with relationships and feelings#own art#fanart#hades supergiant#hades game#hades achilles#hades patroclus#achilles#patroclus#patrochilles#digital art#illustration
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Day 12: Core
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#jorm scribs#inktober#wei wuxian#wwx#wen ning#wen qing#mo dao zu shi#mdzs#mdzs fanart#I know the butterflies are vibes from a different book but it felt empty without something#This is supposed to be when they excise his golden core to give to Jiang Cheng#wen ning and wen qing just kinda like. You good buddy. Do you need some water#I imagine the process wasn't clean. Post-op care I guess.#didn't get to finish this yesterday so it's a day late#grandmaster of demonic cultivation
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me in big fandoms: oh cool, it's so active and there's so many people to vibe with, this is amaz-
*finds my niche angle that appeals to approximately six people*
me: okay, folks, it's you and me now
#doctor who#shaun temple#doctor x donna#donna noble#fourteen x donna#doctordonna#fourteendonna#donna x shaun#this used to be how romantic doctordonna felt back in the day#but now it's wanting to know why shaun is how shaun is#like why are you THAT chill with all this#what life experiences have led you to this place#and where the lines where he would actually get frustrated with the doctordonna shenanigans are#coming up with a reason is more interesting than just blaming it on a flaw in the writing#though that absolutely may be what it is#why he can seem a bit flat#because rtd does not have a great history with black characters#for the record#i respect the different takes#mostly#but i always seem to do this with something#and overall i think donna might have a more complicated time adapting to the new situation than either shaun or the doctor#but let's not reduce shaun to a cardboard cutout
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was gonna wait 'til I'd done all the poms, but it's been a day, so have Vil with a Salazzle 🍎
#art#twisted wonderland#poketwst#what are they plotting? you don't want to know.#sigh. once again the whole 'i don't wanna do more than two each' thing is coming back to bite me.#salazzle was the immediate obvious one and then there were like two or three others i was really torn between#(milotic is the other obvious-seeming choice but there were others i felt fit more in different ways and...yeah)#then i remembered i don't actually have to draw more than one pokemon so here we are#with the ✨QUEENS✨#(me drawing salazzle's weird little feethands: heheheheh)
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there are two wolves inside you: supreme sports and sporty girl
#project sekai#prosekai#prjsk#prsk#ena shinonome#akito shinonome#my art#THIS SET WAS SO COOL#I LOVEEEE THE COLORS ESPECIALLY AKITOS CARD#i was gonna add both the set names and then i realised both gachas had the word 'sporty' in it so#when i was drawing this ena and akito i felt bad cuz ena was the only one with a different hairstyle so i gave akito his fes hairstyle#cuz its my fave oneee <3
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relax bro no one's taking him from you [id in alt]
lineart below cut
#zukka#zukka fanart#sokka#zuko#zuko fanart#sokka fanart#atla#avatar the last airbender#myart#i imagine this isn't when they're together they just fall asleep like this all the time and everyone else is like 🤨🤨 u sure abt that#i held the wip for a while cause i wanted to do something painterly and different and then just felt like lineart today so. /shrug emoji#i wanna draw more zukka fluff...but all my comic ideas are usually angsty...i will have to think#also finally remembered to take a timelapse
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at an intersection, I heard a voice that sounded like yours
#persona 3#persona 3 reload#aigis#makoto yuki#minato arisato#persona#persona 3 mc#p3re#p3#shin megami tensei#finally finished reload recently#i think reload's version of the ending is my favourite across all the different versions of the game (even including the movie)#so I drew this immediately after finishing to capture all the emotions I felt 💙#and I based this piece around my favourite lyrics in kimi no kioku
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I'm tired, found that post on pinterest and felt silly. Enjoy
(Designs heavily inspired by @chloesimaginationthings)
#Man I think i used to ship Henry and William#I think#I have terrible memory#and i was part of an entire different fnaf(fanfic) series#henry x william#is that the tag?#Fnaf#fnaf fanart#doddle#Again i just felt silly#Dsaf#reference#i have 0 idea about the Vegas ending but i think its so funny#just me being silly#WallyLake doodles#wallylake art#my art
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AYO EDEBIRI as Sydney Adamu WILL POULTER as Luca THE BEAR SEASON 3 | Episode 10 - Forever
Are you close? Yeah. Kind of best friends and kind of lost touch, so. It's nice to reconnect. Yeah, especially when it literally is like a best friend that you saw every day of your life and you kinda went through this sort of battle together.
Bonus:
#the bear spoilers#the bear s3#the bear#sydney x luca#sydluca#sydney adamu#luca the bear#ayo edebiri#will poulter#the bear fx#tvandfilm#cinematv#the bear hulu#sorry y'all but bye sydcarmy and i am now a sydluca shipper!#cuz how these two have more warmth in one scene than anything sydcarmy had all season????#i need sydney to get a partner that actually listens to her instead of arguing#and she radiated such feminine energy in this scene and omg if that don't show how relaxed she felt around him and safe too omg i need more#next season i better see him courting her cuz i'm done with whatever was up with carmy this season#they've literally destroyed any hope of sydcarmy even happening at this point :(#and look how he reacted when the other guy walked in - he wanted to be alone with sydney!!! T_T#AND THEIR HEIGHT DIFFERENCE OMGGG MY BIGGEST WEAKNESS!
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At long last… the story of how Mumbo Deviates! I realize this is the most anticlimactic response i could've given to the crazy number of asks I’ve gotten wondering how Mumbo deviates and asking how angsty or heartbreaking or dramatic it is… but hear me out okay. The idea that mumbo is just doing Normal, Day-To-Day android stuff and some random mob just. spooks him so bad that he deviates on the spot and never tells a soul is not only Hilarious but it also feels Really in character DLFGKJFGJ
(And so, i stick to my guns about mumbo being spared from angst. silly goofy guy who i love so so much =w=)
#dbhc#hermitcraft dbh au#mumbo jumbo#mumbojumbo#hermitcraft#dbhc mumbo#hermitcraft au#art escapades#mumbo#what if iiiii love him so much#he's SO sillay#there were so many different ideas i could have gone with here like mumbo trying to teach grian redstone and getting so frustrated that he#just deviates to get onto him for not getting it LKFGJDLFJGKDFG#idk man but this felt too funny not to go with#it feels so perfect for him#dbhc art
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[lestat voice] siri play wuthering heights by kate bush from my louis playlist on spotify
(youtube)
#interview with the vampire#iwtvedit#loustat#loustatedit#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#amc interview with the vampire#iwtv spoilers#my videos#edits#this is a very different style of editing for me i don't usually go so slow but it felt right for this song#getting this finished and uploaded has been a nightmare i barely slept 4 hours last night#and i have to work all day the next two days so#i'll sleep now
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