#this fandom is tragically small and I’m desperate for more content

[paperlit]

PSA: all stjr fans out there you should check out Hulu’s new show The Artful Dodger! It’s a continuation of Oliver Twist focusing on Jack Dawkins who’s s a surgeon and former thief in the 1850s. The love interest, Belle, is the governor’s daughter who wants to be the first female surgeon!

The romance isn’t the whole plot but it was so good and gave me major cressworth vibes! The tropes and angst were also *chefs kiss* in my opinion. 8 episodes starring Thomas Brodie Sangster and Maia Mitchell! Highly recommend!

Oh also it’s on hulu in the US and Disney plus basically everywhere else I think it also doesn’t come out until January in the UK

[knackeredforever]

AN OWL HOUSE SHOW RETROSPECTIVE BEFORE THE FINALE PART 1 SEASON 1:

So we’re around two weeks from the finale and I’ve spent the last two weeks rewatching all of the owl house (I’m not the kind of person who can binge a lot of episodes in a small amount of time). First of all my relationship with this show is somewhat unconventional to say the least I started watching the episodes on Disney + while just season 1 was on their because I had heard of the show’s similarities to gravity falls (which is one of my favourite shows) and really liked it and was excited to watch the later episodes however due to living in the uk Disney who in their complete dumbfuckery had already stopped airing the Disney channel / Disney XD here like they used to do I had to wait for the episodes to come to Disney + and so I couldn’t really interact with the fandom to avoid spoilers which was infuriating. Even more because with every chunk of season 2 that came on Disney + it became clearer that the owl house is one of the best shows to come out of the last few years with amazing characters , story and animation that was simultaneously really funny but also very mature and the fact that Disney decided to shorten the show is legitimately one of the dumbest decisions in the company’s history and We can only hope that them finally realising the shows success means we may get future content in this world hopefully more than a book or two although only time will tell. Anyway with the introduction over I’m gonna talk about the actual episodes not all of them I’ll be skipping most of seasons 1 cause it’s the only season with filler episodes and probably a few on season 2 but not cause their filler I just don’t have much to say about them:

A lying witch and a warden/witches before wizards: The first two episodes of the show but arguably some of the lesser quality compared to later episodes probably due to luz, eda and king being the only actual main characters but they are still important from a story sense so their still fine episodes in there own right… however the first two S3 specials make these first two episodes way more tragic I’ll obviously talk more about the S3 episodes when I get to them but damn does what we learn about luz’s past with her father’s death being the catalyst for her love of azura make these episodes so much more interesting in retrospect and S3 E2’s all I’ve ever wanted was to be understood makes this idea of luz’s desperation for a sense of belonging and believing she’s special to escape some of the unfortunate parts of her life so fucking tragic. I also find it funny how people referred to S1 luz as luz before the trauma when she’s been using her love of azura and hyperactive attitude to deal with her trauma in the first place. So yeah while this doesn’t change the fact these are both just ok episodes S3 does contextualise them in a completely new light.

I was a teenage abomination: the first episode to introduce willow, gus , AMITY and hexside as a whole in general a step up from the last two episodes purely because of the introduction of new main characters including amity (we will get back to amity later when she gets character development) who in this episode is mean girl who is absolutely feral. This is also the first episode to introduce abomination magic which will become one of the most interesting and unique parts of TOH’s magic system which essentially combines concepts such as magitech, homunculi and used in a way similar to waterbending in atla (quite appropriate considering katara and amity share a VA) but yeah a good episode overall.

The intruder: in my opinion this is TOH’s first great episode while the plot twist is quite obvious the suspense the episode creates is really good the way luz learns her own unique way to do magic through the glyphs is great the owl beast is genuinely quite creepy mainly for me due to the noises it makes but one of my favourite parts is how edas curse is a beautiful done metaphor for chronic illness shown through the line “nobody likes having a curse but If you take the right steps it’s manageable” (or something like that I misremember stuff easily ok) anyway not much else to say genuinely great episode overall.

Covention: This episode is basically what sets up most of the plot of season 1 with introducing lilith and her mission to capture eda overall lilith in season 1 is a pretty generic villain compared to what will come later with belos in season 2 onwards. Lilith isn’t that interesting until in season 2 when she becomes the much superior cool aunt lilith. This episode is also what introduces the concept of the coven system and one of the most interesting ideas of toh that being that it’s magic system is constricted and controlled by the ruling government the emperor’s coven and that the coven system is an inherently evil thing so Is separating the different types of magic which is s thing that many magic systems in fantasy do so it’s cool toh takes that idea and puts it in a negative light. This episode also contains TOH’s first major fight scene and oh god it’s great. Overall toh definitely does quality over quantity with its big fight scenes so this is great for the first major one the giant Hooty statue that grows smaller hooty’s is definitely the best part. This episode is the first one that shows luz and amity’s relationship and amity try’s to kill luz for the second time although this is also the last time amity try’s to kill luz so progress? Anyway good episode.

Lost in language: not much to say about this episode except more lumity development which is cool i like Edric and emira and. I like how emira calling luz cutie and luz blushing because of it is an early tease of luz being bi. And finally amity’s line about trying to figure out why luz keeps trying to be around her and deciding on luz is a bully has literally been living rent free in my head since I watched the episode because it’s such a good line and unexpected that the character that has been presented as a bully thus far actually thinks the main character is trying to bully her is something I’ve never seen in another piece of media before and It’s just interesting how amity views luz in this episode.

Something ventured ,someone framed: I hate / love Matt tholomule so much and the detention pit is so insanely overkill it’s funny like they casually just throw kids into a lovecraftian horror for detention and everyone from the BI just thinks that’s normal.

Escape of the palisman: PLEASE tell me we’re gonna get a conclusion to who the bat queens original owner was int the finale.

Sense and insensitivity: the episode that first introduced kikimora my beloved / should probably be put on trial for crimes against witch kind.

Adventures in the elements: ice ice lesbians. But this is a really good episode too and I love how luz finds the second ice glyph also love how at this point eda is fully willing to let the blights die if she can escape the slitherbeast which if that did happen do you think eda would let Odalia and alador know or she would pretend not to know. Just me wondering that ok MOVING ON.

The first day: the first day 13 episodes in is a fine episode luz has the worst look with school in the universe and gets sent to detention eternal on her first day of school for mixing magic where she meets the detention squad including: viney , guy who knows French for some reason and a talking dog who can tell the future they’re great the part where luz is looking through the secret openings and see’s amity trying to convince herself she’s not gay for luz is hilarious and adorable. The main plot focusing on the invading basilisk is ok in the episode but cooler in retrospect because it sets up vee.

Understanding willow: the first episode that sets up willow and amity’s past friendship and also willow’s character arc of becoming more self confident in herself which is funny cause she spends most of the episode partially comatose. This is also the first episode where amity transitions from having gay thoughts for luz to being blushing tomato gay girl which is great. I love how this episode sets up the idea of entering the mind in a lower risk environment compared to hollow mind where all the shit hits the fan. The fucking he’ll scene with eda being absolutely manic is great. Cool how this is the first episode that shows odalia and alador. It’s interesting how amity’s parents forced boscha to be her friend considering what we learn later about boscha having a crush on amity. And what odalia says when she finds out luz is amity’s girlfriend. Makes me wonder if odalia and maybe alador thought boscha would be an arranged marriage for amity in the future it’s interesting to think about. I like how because amity is nice to willow now they don’t immediately become friends again because of what amity did but they still are understanding of each other it’s a very nuanced ending.

Enchanting grom fright: not much to say for this episode despite the fact it’s essentially the episode that started to skyrocket the owl house to popularity because damn the dance scene is one of the most important and beautiful scenes in animation of recently and the only things to top it are later episodes of the the owl house Itself. Luz being so oblivious to amity is hilarious but sort of sad considering it’s out of a fear of previous rejections on Luz’s part that cause her to not even assume the idea that someone has a crush on her damn this girl needs a hug. Also the ending first teasing vee but as this terrifying doppelgänger instead of the wholesome cinnamon bun she ended up being is just the cherry on top

Wing it like witches: it’s funny how confident amity was dancing with luz in the previous episode probably only fully realising what she’d done in retrospect explaining why amity is a complete and utter lesbian disaster in this episode every other sentence from amity in this episode is gold and she has become an evolved gay tomato new power unlocked being scooped up by your crush and going oh wow sports. When I first watched this episode I had to watch it again because of just how fucking wholesome I haven’t even talked about the episode itself but it doesn’t matter rename the episode to amity down bad because that’s the highlight of the episode and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Agony of a witch/young blood old souls: the two part season 1 finale amity was too gay so she’s been sent to the time out corner so is not present throughout the rest of the season finale. It’s interesting how willow and gus actually respect belos at the start of the episode thinking he’s the BI’s greatest witch showing how far and wide belos’s propaganda has spread. The general aesthetics of belos’s castle due to how the BI has been shown to be hellish in its design with all the plant life being read literally being on the dead body of a long dead Titan and bonesborough’s design especially invoke that feeling so it’s appropriate that the villains castle is actually the opposite looking like this holy palace from its golden interior and the emperor coven’s design of gold and white are not that of typical villains but due to the unruly chaotic design of the BI makes the emperors coven look like they do belong their which they don’t they are their to restrict freedom of the people and though most of its members don’t realise they are helping bring about there people’s destruction for a ruler that secretly hates them. The designs of stained glass windows obviously show the religious inspiration of the emperor’s coven which is really cool but when you enter the emperor’s throne room you see the twisted pipes and the steampunk dark atmosphere and the giant beating heart which can always be heard in the background of the throne room which always adds to the ambiance their making it way more terrifying. Now my thoughts on belos in this episode is that with what we now know about him everything he does in this episode is way more intriguing and interesting. But taking this episode on its own belos is presented as incredibly mysterious but also not super interesting on his own he is shown as a tyrant that has very vague goals who lies to his underlings to get them when I first watched this episode I saw belos as in a joking manner “ sans undertale hollow knight reject” referring to the mask getting shattered later in the episode revealing his one blue eye and the fact his mask makes him look like a hollow knight character (although considering how similar some of his actions are to that of hollow knight’s pale king I guess I sort of predicted the future with that one) little did I know belos would soon become one of my favourite villains of all time as season 2 progressed. The second fight scene between eda and Lilith in agony of a witch is even better than the last with it being anime as fuck. And considering how similar due to eda being morally opposite sibling fighting each other with similar powers and with the good one in a red colour scheme and the bad one in a blue colour scheme the fact that Lilith never said “foolishness eda foolishness” as a DMC reference is one of the shows biggest missed opportunities in my opinion. Also Lilith being the one to curse eda is an insanely obvious plot twist considering their was literally no other character introduced at that point who could have realistically done it but it works in the story as a way to show how far people will go to serve the emperor. In young blood old souls luz goes into murder mode and basically single-handedly takes down the entire conformatorium security including warden wrath who was the main threat in the first episode so it’s a good way to show how far luz has come as a character power wise it’s also cool how the first and last episode of season 1 takes place in the conformatorium. When we get to the Lilith vs luz fight all I can think is how much I wish toh had a higher age rating so we could have actually gotten luz saying “talk to the glyph bitch” anyway belos being the sassy can not recognise irony if it stared him in the face asshole that he is sitting on the demon skull throne in shadowy lighting about to use the most demonic magic possible motherfucka probably thinking to himself what a considerate morally good guy he is. WAIT TUMBLR HAS A TEXT POST LIMIT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[bamf-jaskier]

Okay so I’m going to try and do a comparison of some of the major scenes between Geralt and Yennefer in Bottled Appetites vs The Last Wish. 

Warning: this is a very long post and I tried to keep it as short as possible but Geralt and Yennefer is the relationship that is mainly focused on in both the short story and the show so there’s..a lot of content here. 

Now, before I really jump in it’s important to note that the show is basically the spark notes version of the book, there’s a lot of missing content in the show mostly because the book just has so much more complexity so for a brief timeline:

Jaskier is injured

Talks to Chireadan 

Meets Yennefer

Take Bath Together 

Yennefer mind-controls Geralt and send him off to go fight some council members

THEN this is where the show and book differ 

In the books, Yennefer’s mind-control has more obvious consequences and Geralt gets into legal trouble and there’s a whole scene with some town leaders threatening Geralt and Jaskier. (Although it is important to note Yennefer in the books has a back-up plan to save Geralt)

As well when Geralt goes to stop Yennefer in the books from capturing the Djinn  she portals away with Geralt and they hate-crash a Noble’s party before having a conversation and fighting the Djinn again, Geralt makes his third wish and then they have sex 

So basically the townspeople sub-plot is removed in the show and the Djinn fight is streamlined into one-scene instead of multiple. Now understanding that, let’s get into the scene comparisons. 

Geralt Meeting Yennefer:

The Last Wish:

“You parried my spell,” she finally said. “You're not a sorcerer; that's obvious. But you reacted exceptionally fast. Tell me who you are, stranger who has come in peace. And I advise you to speak quickly.”

“I’m Geralt of Rivia. A witcher.”

Yennefer leaned out of the bed, grasping a faun—engraved on the pole—by a piece of anatomy well adapted to being grasped. Without taking her eyes off Geralt, she picked a coat with a fur collar up off the floor and wrapped herself up in it tightly before getting up. She poured herself another mug of juice without hurrying, drank it in one go, coughed and came closer. Geralt discreetly rubbed his lower back which, a moment ago, had collided painfully with the wall.

“Geralt of Rivia,” repeated the sorceress, looking at him from behind black lashes. “How did you get in here? And for what reason? You didn't hurt Berrant, I hope?”

“No. I didn't. Lady Yennefer, I need your help.”

“A witcher,” she muttered, coming up even closer and wrapping the coat around her more tightly. “Not only is it the first one I’ve seen up close but it's none other than the famous White Wolf. I’ve heard about you.”

“I can imagine.”

“I don't know what you can imagine.” 

She yawned, then came even closer. “May I?” She touched his cheek and looked him in the eyes. He clenched his jaw. “Do your pupils automatically adapt to light or can you narrow and dilate them according to your will?”

“Yennefer,” he said calmly, “I rode nonstop all day from Rinde. I waited all night for the gates to open. I gave your doorman, who didn't want to let me in, a blow to the head. I disturbed your sleep and peace, discourteously and importunately. All because my friend needs help which only you can give him. Give it to him, please, and then, if you like, we can talk about mutations and aberrations.”

She took a step back and contorted her lips unpleasantly. “What sort of help do you mean?”

“The regeneration of organs injured through magic. The throat, larynx and vocal cords. An injury caused by a scarlet mist. Or something very much like it.”

The Show:

Yennefer: And quite a bit more. You’re immune.

Geralt: You must be the mage.

Yennefer: Yennefer of Vengerberg. 

Geralt: Hm. Chireadan didn’t mention that, uh…

Yennefer: What did he fail to mention?

Geralt: We need your help.

Yennefer: “We”? [Geralt looks to Jaskier who gives a feeble wave.] Just a friend, I hope? [Geralt looks back at her.] Your heartbeat, it’s extraordinarily slow. You’re… a mutant.

Geralt: A witcher. Geralt of Rivia.

Yennefer: The famous White Wolf! [Standing up she steps close to Geralt.] I thought you’d have fangs or horns or something.

Geralt: I had them filed down.

Yennefer: [chuckles] First time I’ve seen a witcher up close. [She circles him, looks him over.] What little spells can you cast with your hands? Call it professional curiosity.

Geralt: Please, Jaskier here needs immediate attention. And then, if you’d like, I’ll indulge your curiosity all night long.

Yennefer: It won’t take all night. But I’m sure we can find a way to fill the time.

Geralt: [holding up the small sack with the pot’s shards] He was attacked by a djinn.

Yennefer: A djinn?

Geralt: Whatever’s wrong with him, it’s spreading. [Yennefer takes the sack and inspects the contents.] Fix it and I’ll pay you. Whatever the price.

Yennefer: You’ll have to do better than juice. [to the undulating figures] "Ragamuffin"!

In the books there is no orgy sequence, instead Yennefer has been mainly just been fucking with the merchant Beau Berrant, who in the show is the Mayor of Rinde. The apple juice sequence occurs in both adaptations and Geralt goes to Yennefer. In the books, Yennefer is alone in Berrant’s bedchambers, in the show she is in the orgy sequence. If you read the passages, they share the same bare bones. Yennefer tries to bespell Geralt, he is immune, she comments on his mutation, Geralt asks for help. 

Yennefer and Geralt have the same flirtatious overtones in both adaptations. Honestly I don’t have much to say here because it parallels relatively well as far as characterization goes. I will say I prefer the book’s prose but I also understand that the show has more simplistic writing and wording. 

Anya Chalotra has fantastic energy in playing Yennefer and the tension between the actors in this scene are quite apparent. 

Bathing Together:

The Last Wish:

She entered the bath-chamber just as Geralt, sitting naked on a tiny stool, was pouring water over himself from a bucket. He cleared his throat and modestly turned his back to her.

“Don't be embarrassed,” she said, throwing an armful of clothing on the hook. “I don't faint at the sight of a naked man. Triss Merigold, a friend, says if you've seen one, you've seen them all.”

He got up, wrapping a towel round his hips.

“Beautiful scar.” She smiled, looking at his chest. “What was it? Did you fall under the blade in a sawmill?”

He didn't answer. The sorceress continued to observe him, tilting her head coquettishly.

“The first witcher I can look at from close up, and completely naked at that. Aha!” She leaned over, listening. “I can hear your heart beat. It's very slow. Can you control how much adrenalin you secrete? Oh, forgive me my professional curiosity. Apparently, you're touchy about the qualities of your own body. You're wont to describe these qualities using words which I greatly dislike, lapsing into pompous sarcasm with it, something I dislike even more.”

He didn't answer.“Well, enough of that. My bath is getting cold.” Yennefer moved as if she wanted to discard her coat, then hesitated. “I’ll take my bath while you talk, to save time. But I don't want to embarrass you and, besides, we hardly know each other. So then, taking decency into account—”

“I’ll turn around,” he proposed hesitantly.“No. I have to see the eyes of the person I’m talking to. I’ve got a better idea.”

He heard an incantation being recited, felt his medallion quiver and saw the black coat softly slip to the floor. Then he heard the water splashing.

“Now I can't see your eyes, Yennefer,” he said. “And that's a pity.”

The invisible sorceress snorted and splashed in the tub. “Go on.”

The Show:

[Later, in the bathroom, Geralt takes a bath while Yennefer keeps him company]

Yennefer: Fishing for a djinn seems an extreme measure to remedy sleeplessness.

Geralt: When extreme measures seem reasonable, yes, I’m desperate.

Yennefer: And yet you didn’t ask me to help with that.

Geralt: Looming death kind of jumped the queue. Now I’m wondering if I can afford you. Have I accidentally agreed to indentured servitude? [Yennefer notices his scars.] Go ahead, ask about them. Everyone does.

Yennefer: Everyone else is boring. [She undresses and steps into the tub.] Turn around.

Geralt: [Tries to look at her in a mirror, but Yennefer moves it with magic so he can’t see] That’s cheating.

Yennefer: Nobody smart plays fair. Tell me, are all witchers similarly blessed? [She sits down so they’re back to back.] Come now, you promised.

Geralt: Hm. I haven’t conducted a survey, but I’d hardly say we’re blessed.

Okay!! Now I can get more into the characterization differences because oh boy are there some here. First, Yennefer mentions Triss in the books which I would have loved to see in the show but the main thing here is how they objectify each other. In both adaptations, Yennefer notices Geralt’s scars when they begin to bathe together but in the books, Yennefer uses it as a way to pry more into the biological functions of Witchers whereas in the show she uses it as a way to talk about their shitty childhoods. 

This ties into how the show, instead of focusing on the more biological aspects of Witchers, focuses on the tragic backstory of the characters. Of course, Lauren is of the mindset (like much of fandom) that Witchers are more animalistic while Sapko really pushes the idea that Witchers are creations of science so it makes sense the show wouldn’t want to talk about Witcher science as much. 

As well, in the books, Geralt is rather respectful to Yennefer, promising to avert his gaze and she ends up turning invisible so she can objectify him but he can’t objectify her. It places Yennefer in charge and the obviously more powerful force in the room. 

In the show, Geralt tries to take a peak at Yennefer and they sit back to back, establishing them as equals. And this is no mistake. In the books, Yennefer is quite a bit older than Geralt, she is powerful mage and Geralt is just a guy. Yennefer is the one in power in their relationship and that is obvious in every aspect of their relationship. 

The show made Geralt 32 years older than Yennefer. They push a narrative of Yennefer and Geralt being on more equal footing (or even at times go as far as to make Geralt seem the more mature and older one which we will see later with Yennefer not being aware of the Wish). 

This reverses a lot of the show/book dynamic where instead of Yennefer being the dominant one she is on equal footing with Geralt. Of course, this is likely due to Henry Cavill being around 37 and Anya Chalotra being around 23. Hollywood is allergic to the older woman/younger man dynamic that is seen in the books so making Yennefer seem younger is not a problem specific to The Witcher but with Hollywood at large.  (Not to say it isn’t still bad to see this perpetuated in the show because it is)

Yennefer mind-controlling Geralt:

The Last Wish:

“He's asleep,” said Yennefer. “And dreaming.”

Geralt examined the patterns traced on the floor. The magic hidden within them was palpable, but he knew it was a dormant magic. It brought to mind the purr of a sleeping lion, without suggesting how the roar might sound.

“What is this, Yennefer?”

“A trap.”

“For what?”

“For you, for the time being.” The sorceress turned the key in the lock, then turned it over in her hand. The key disappeared.

“And thus I’m trapped,” he said coldly. “What now? Are you going to assault my virtue?”

“Don't flatter yourself.” Yennefer sat on the edge of the bed. Dandilion, still smiling like a moron, groaned quietly. It was, without a doubt, a groan of bliss.

“I already knew what you were like,” she continued, “after exchanging a few words with you in Beau's bedroom. And I knew what form of payment I’d demand from you. My accounts in Rinde could be settled by anyone, including Chireadan. But you're the one who's going to do it because you have to pay me. For your insolence, for the cold way you look at me, for the eyes which fish for every detail, for your stony face and sarcastic tone of voice. For thinking that you could stand face-to-face with Yennefer of Vergerberg and believe her to be full of self-admiration and arrogance, a calculating witch, while staring at her soapy tits. Pay up, Geralt of Rivia!”

She grabbed his hair with both hands and kissed him violently on the lips, sinking her teeth into them like a vampire. The medallion on his neck quivered and it felt to Geralt as if the chain was shrinking and strangling him. Something blazed in his head while a terrible humming filled his ears. He stopped seeing the sorceress's violet eyes and fell into darkness.He was kneeling. Yennefer was talking to him in a gentle, soft voice.“You remember?”

“Yes, my lady.” It was his own voice.

“So go and carry out my instructions.”

“At your command, my lady.”

“You may kiss my hand.”

“Thank you, my lady.”He felt himself approach her on his knees. 

Ten thousand bees buzzed in his head. Her hand smelt of lilac and gooseberries. Lilac and gooseberries…Lilac and gooseberries…A flash. Darkness.

The Show:

Yennefer: If you wake him before he’s healed, the spell won’t take. That’s no way to treat a friend, Geralt.

Geralt: You want the djinn, but the amphora’s broken. The djinn’s already long gone. [Suddenly the candles around the sign flare up.]

Yennefer: [rubbing perfume onto her wrists] Do go on. Tell me how stuff works. The djinn is tied to this plane and its master. How many wishes did the bard express before he lost his voice?

Geralt: You need Jaskier to make his last wish so you can capture it.

Yennefer: So that’s… two then.

Geralt: The djinn will fight you. If you try and bend it- [He breaks off, clears his throat then inhales.] Ah… That scent… Lilac and…

Yennefer: Gooseberries. [Geralt exhales sharply.] Tough to get in your head. You have a strong will, but you can’t contend with me. Sorry I couldn’t be direct, I knew you’d fight it. [She leans up to kiss him, bites on his bottom lip until it bleeds.] And I do love a good old-fashioned trap.

Geralt: [slurring] A good old-fashioned… nap. [His eyes flutter shut.]

I mentioned how the show is a spark notes? Well, in the books Yennefer finds out through interrogating Geralt in the bath how many wishes are left. As well, in the books Yennefer is much more physically violent, again asserting the idea that she is the dominant one in the relationship and that she is in charge. 

Honestly, the show softens Yennefer quite a bit in this scene. While she does bite his lip, it’s slowly and not particularly violent. In the books, she is compared to a vampire, grabbing his hair, pulling him down. 

It all ties into the softer, younger version of Yennefer we see in the show vs the books. She is not as aggressive in the show and also not as dominant. Again, this could be due to the actor’s age difference but I also think it ties into Hollywood’s avoidance of placing women in a position that is above a male character. (Especially with Henry Cavill as Geralt, he would be unlikely to play a more subservient role to a woman purposefully considering some of his past statements about Me Too). However, having Yennefer as less aggressive also might make her more relatable to the audience and have her be more likable. At least, that could be what the writers were going for but I’m not psychic and I couldn’t tell you for sure. 

Geralt trying to save Yennefer from the Djinn:

The Last Wish:

“Yennefer saw him, jumped up and raised her hand.

“No!” he shouted, “don't do this! I want to help you!”

“Help?” She snorted. “You?”

“Me.”

“In spite of what I did to you?”

“In spite of it.”

“Interesting. But not important. I don't need your help. Get out of here.”

“No.”

“Get out of here!” she yelled, grimacing ominously. “It's getting dangerous! The whole thing's getting out of control; do you understand? I can't master him. I don't get it, but the scoundrel isn't weakening at all! I caught him once he'd fulfilled the troubadour's third wish and I should have him in the sphere by now. But he's not getting any weaker! Dammit, it looks as if he's getting stronger! But I’m still going to get the better of him. I’ll break—”

“You won't break him, Yennefer. He'll kill you.”

“It's not so easy to kill me—”

She broke off. The whole roof of the tavern suddenly flared up. The vision projected by the sphere dissolved in the brightness. A huge fiery rectangle appeared on the ceiling. The sorceress cursed as she lifted her hands, and sparks gushed from her fingers. 

“Run, Geralt!”

“What's happening, Yennefer?”

“He's located me…” She groaned, flushing red with effort. “He wants to get at me. He's creating his own portal to get in. He can't break loose but he'll get in by the portal. I can't—I can't stop him!”

“Yennefer—”

“Don't distract me! I’ve got to concentrate…Geralt, you've got to get out of here. I’ll open my portal, a way for you to escape. Be careful; it'll be a random portal. I haven't got time or strength for any other…I don't know where you'll end up…but you'll be safe…Get ready—.” 

... (description paragraph skip)

“This way!” shouted Yennefer, indicating the portal which she had conjured up oh the wall by the stairs. In comparison to the one created by the genie, the sorceress's portal looked feeble, extremely inferior. “This way, Geralt! Run for it!”

“Only with you!”

Yennefer, sweeping the air with her hands, was shouting incantations and the many-colored fetters showered sparks and creaked. The djinn whirled like the bumble-bee, pulling the bonds tight, then loosening them. Slowly but surely he was drawing closer to the sorceress. Yennefer did not back away.

The witcher leapt to her, deftly tripped her up, grabbed her by the waist with one hand and dug the other into her hair at the nape. Yennefer cursed nastily  and thumped him in the neck with her elbow. He didn't let go of her. The penetrating smell of ozone, created by the curses, didn't kill the smell of lilac and gooseberries. Geralt stilled the sorceress's kicking legs and jumped, raising her straight up to the opalescently flickering nothingness of the lesser portal.

 The Show:

[In the bedroom]

Yennefer: [still chanting in Elder]

Geralt: [as he enters, Yennefer lifts a hand in his direction.] Don’t! I’m here to help you.

Yennefer: [lowers her hand] I don’t need your help. You’re free. No longer under my spell.

Geralt: And yet here I am.

Yennefer: You seem to want to meet your end.

Geralt: As do you.

Yennefer: [groans] The djinn isn’t weakening. The bard expressed his last wish, but it’s- [screams] it’s getting stronger! Go!

Geralt: That’s because I’m the one with the wishes.

Yennefer: You? You’re the djinn’s master?

Geralt: Yeah.

Yennefer: Well, what are you waiting for? [She screams as her bones crack.] Make your wishes!

Geralt: Becoming the vessel for the djinn will have you lose control, not gain it! Can’t you see what this is doing to you?

Yennefer: True transformation is painful.

Geralt: Release the djinn! I’ll give you my last wish!

Yennefer: You heroic protector… noble dog, permitting my success so long as you command it yourself. Fuck off! I’ll do this myself!

Geralt: Damn it, Yennefer! Tell me what you want!

Yennefer: I want everything!

[In the bedroom, Yennefer’s eyes have gone red, her voice distorted]

Djinn: [speaking through Yennefer] Make your wish! You can have anything you want! You could choose not to be a witcher. What do you desire? Immortality? Riches? Fame? Power?

Geralt: I wish… [The rest of his words are drowned out by the wind. Yennefer falls forward and the wind calms down. Geralt pulls up his sleeve to reveal the third cut.]

Yennefer: The djinn… Wh- Where did it go? [The house groans and creaks, and the two look to the ceiling as it crashes down.]

Yennefer still craves power and wants for everything in the show. In the books, she is more established and wants to try and control the Djinn. This is why when Geralt comes back for Yennefer, both versions express surprise at why Geralt would come back to help after they cast a spell on him but Netflix!Yennefer tells Geralt to fuck off on the basis she doesn’t want a man controlling her life (tying into the Strong Female Character Trope) while Book!Yennefer wants Geralt out of danger first and foremost.

Of course, much of this in the show is likely a response to try and subvert the “damsel in distress” stereotype and while the books have Yennefer as the dominant one and in control, showing that she in not in distress, the show has her explicitly point this out because she is not established as the dominant one as much as in the books. 

The show constantly is more overt with its themes that the books which are far more subtle. 

Yennefer is mad at Geralt and then they have sex:

The Last Wish (Warning this is rather long and I even tried to shorten it without removing content!!):

“You moron!” Yennefer yelled, trying to scratch out his eyes. “You bloody idiot! You stopped me! I nearly had him!”

“You had shit-all!” he shouted back, furious. “I saved your life, you stupid witch!”

She hissed like a furious cat; her palms showered sparks.

Geralt, turning his face away, caught her by both wrists and they rolled among the oysters, seaweed and crushed ice.

“Do you have an invitation?” A portly man with the golden chain of a chamberlain on his chest was looking at them with a haughty expression.

“Screw yourself!” screamed Yennefer, still trying to scratch Geralt's eyes out.

“The wish, Geralt! Hurry up! What do you desire? Immortality? Riches? Fame? Power? Might? Privileges? Hurry, we haven't any time!” He was silent

“Humanity,” she said suddenly, smiling nastily. “I’ve guessed, haven't I? That's what you want; that's what you dream of! Of release, of the freedom to be who you want, not who you have to be. The djinn will fulfill that wish, Geralt. Just say it.”

He stayed silent.

She stood over him in the flickering radiance of the wizard's sphere, in the glow of magic, amidst the flashes of rays restraining the djinn, streaming hair and eyes blazing violet, erect, slender, dark, terrible…

And beautiful.

All of a sudden she leaned over and looked him in the eyes. He caught the scent of lilac and gooseberries.

“You're not saying anything,” she hissed. “So what is it you desire, witcher? What is your most hidden dream? Is it that you don't know or you can't decide? Look for it within yourself, look deeply and carefully because, I swear by the Force, you won't get another chance like this!”

But he suddenly knew the truth. He knew it. He knew what she used to be. What she remembered, what she couldn't forget, what she lived with. Who she really was before she had become a sorceress.

Her cold, penetrating, angry and wise eyes were those of a hunchback. He was horrified. No, not of the truth. He was horrified that she would read his thoughts, find out what he had guessed. That she would never forgive him for it. He deadened that thought within himself, killed it, threw it from his memory forever, without trace, feeling, as he did so, enormous relief. Feeling that—

The ceiling cracked open. The djinn, entangled in the net of the now fading rays, tumbled right on top of them, roaring, and in that roar were triumph and murder lust. Yennefer leapt to meet him. Light beamed from her hands. Very feeble light.

The djinn opened his mouth and stretched his paws toward her.

The witcher suddenly understood what it was he wanted.

And he made his wish.

... (time skip)

Yennefer, slightly flushed, knelt by him, resting her hands on her knees.

“Witcher.” She cleared her throat. “Are you dead?”

“No.” Geralt wiped the dust from his face and hissed.

Slowly, Yennefer touched his wrist and delicately ran her fingers along his palm. “I burnt you—”

“It's nothing. A few blisters—”

“I’m sorry. You know, the djinn's escaped. For good.”

“Do you regret it?”

“Not much.”

“Good. Help me up, please.”

“Wait,” she whispered. “That wish of yours…I heard what you wished for. I was astounded, simply astounded. I’d have expected anything but to…What made you do it, Geralt? Why…Why me?”

“Don't you know?”

She leaned over him, touched him. He felt her hair, smelling of lilac and gooseberries, brush his face and he suddenly knew that he'd never forget that scent, that soft touch, knew that he'd never be able to compare it to any other scent or touch. Yennefer kissed him and he understood that he'd never desire any lips other than hers, so soft and moist, sweet with lipstick. He knew that, from that moment, only she would exist, her neck, shoulders and breasts freed from her black dress, her delicate, cool skin, which couldn't be compared to any other he had ever touched. He gazed into her violet eyes, the most beautiful eyes in the world, eyes which he feared would become…

Everything. He knew.

“Your wish,” she whispered, her lips very near his ear. “I don't know whether such a wish can ever be fulfilled. I don't know whether there's such a Force in Nature that could fulfill such a wish. But if there is, then you've condemned yourself. Condemned yourself to me.”

He interrupted her with a kiss, an embrace, a touch, caresses and then with everything, his whole being, his every thought, his only thought, everything, everything, everything. They broke the silence with sighs and the rustle of clothing strewn on the floor. 

They broke the silence very gently, lazily, and they were considerate and very thorough. They were caring and tender and, although neither quite knew what caring and tenderness were, they succeeded because they very much wanted to. And they were in no hurry whatsoever. The whole world had ceased to exist for a brief moment, but to them, it seemed like a whole eternity.

And then the world started to exist again; but it existed very differently.

“Geralt?”

“Mmm?”

“What now?”

“I don't know.”

“Nor do I. Because, you see, I…I don't know whether it was worth condemning yourself to me. I don't know how—Wait, what are you doing…? I wanted to tell you—”

“Yennefer…Yen.”

“Yen,” she repeated, giving in to him completely. “Nobody's ever called me that. Say it again.”

“Yen.”

“Geralt.”

The Show:

[Yennefer and Geralt portal into the room inside the manor, where they first met.]

Geralt: Yennefer? [He gets to his knees and shifts the hair of her face.] Yennefer. It’s me… Geralt.

Yennefer: [She opens slowly her eyes, shoves Geralt away and rises.] I know who you are. What did you do? You stopped me, didn’t you? I nearly had it.

Geralt: You had shit all. I saved your life.

Yennefer: And I saved yours! You let the djinn escape. Who knows what havoc it’ll wreak now that it has no vessel at all?

Geralt: No more havoc than you. Djinns are only dark creatures when held captive.

Yennefer: How can you be so sure?

Geralt: When did you last feel happy when you felt trapped? And if you were going to portal us to safety, you could’ve taken us out of this shit town!

Yennefer: A fine critique if you could make a portal yourself. And it wasn’t a shit town, it was a fine town till you came along. I had a plan!

Geralt: [chuckles] And that was going swimmingly!

Yennefer: It was. Like a drowning fish. [They kiss and begin to have sex.]

I tried to keep it short here, but the show combined multiple scenes from the book here. I do love the fact that they kept the shit-all line, it’s a favorite. Of course, many people have likely noticed the HUGE difference between the show and books. In the books, Yennefer knows what the wish is and she’s aware Geralt tied their destinies together. 

The show keeps Yennefer in the dark about the wish (likely as a way to manufacture tension on the mountain and have it be dramatic tm) and this just further places her as the not-dominant one in comparison to Geralt. I will also say I love how in the books, Geralt gets a flashback through Yennefer’s past and her trauma. It would have been interesting to see that in the show. 

This final scene suffers so much in the show by being so shortened. We don’t see Yennefer and Geralt have a long conversation about the consequences of the wish or what they might do next, they just exchange a few lines about the Djinn which makes the sex scene seem more sudden than in the books. 

Of course, I will give props to the actors for the sexual tension they are able to generate in just a few lines as they move closer to each other (granted this tension is ruined as soon as the music starts playing and Jaskier shows up, making the sex scene humorous instead of impactful). 

The last lines in the book passage where Yennefer asks Geralt to call her Yen just breaks my damn heart and I would do anything to have seen it in the show. The way the books showcase two very traumatized people finally finding each other is just so lovely and I don’t understand the directing decision to have the tone of the scene switch so quickly in the show from serious and impactful to light. It takes away a lot from the characters. 

In the end, the show has Yennefer in a less dominant position in the books and also has her act younger in a sense. This could be due to the actor’s age difference or Hollywood’s allergy to dominant women but despite this, the actors bring a lot of chemistry to the screen (especially in the first meeting/bath scenes). 

I would have liked the show to give Yennefer more agency in regards to the wish, especially considering that is her character arc in the show, but I did appreciate how many scenes paralleled each other and I believe at the end of the day, the show was able to preserve enough of Yenralt to make it a believable pairing in the show and I can see them improving the dynamic they have already established throughout the first season in season 2. 

[wylanvnneck]

Jurdan, Angst, prompt number 3 please!!🥰

Angst Prompt #3: "No, don't cry, I hate it when you cry."

Fandom: TFOTA

Ship: Jurdan

Masterlist | Prompt List

------------------------------------------------

The High King of Elfhame feels a fissure start to build in his semblance of a heart as he gazes upon the downturned face of his wife standing before him. The picture that she paints is tragic and beautiful, her umber hair loosely trailing down her back over her ivory nightgown, her face turned down and away from the moonlight shining through the window, her usually fiery eyes hidden from view. Just seconds ago she had changed his life with her words and he’d been glowing and luminescent, the excitement mixed with trepidation racing through his body like the finest of wines but now the air around them is cold and damp, uncertainty and confusion taking over his euphoria.

There’s a silence that he doesn’t know how to break. Even the drapes on their shared four poster bed make no noise as the wind rips through them and the whole atmosphere is quiet and still, a stark contrast to the panic and turmoil rising within him with every passing second.

He can’t take much more of this, he doesn’t have the strength to and he needs to change this, to fix this, to bring back the laughter and the happiness. Before he can demand that she speak, tell him, help him, his pointy-tipped fae ears pick up on the low sounds of a sob. A hitched breath.

He steps forward right up in front of her, desperate. “Jude? Jude look at me.” He hears the anguish in his voice. “Please.”

Finally, she meets his stare, her eyes glistening as she blinks hard against the reluctant tears starting to trail down her cheeks. Gently, he reaches out to catch one of them, absorbing her sorrow with his fingertips.

“No, don’t cry, I hate it when you cry. I never know what to do.”

She lets out a shaky breath and attempts a small watery smile and the fissure in his heart starts to heal. He cradles her face and leans down to be closer, searching her closed expression. His wife so rarely broke down, always putting up a brave front, but in moments like this, despite his sadness on her behalf, he’s also grateful to be the only one that she would remover her armor for, the only one who would ever see the mortal High Queen of Elfhame so vulnerable.

“My Darling Villain, what is it? Are you unhappy about this?”

The question hurts, the idea that Jude doesn’t want this, but he hopes she can change her mind. He’d thought of their possible future children before of course, and it had always felt so far away, something exciting but not pressing. Now that the reality was in front of him it was frightening, alarming, maddening, delightful, wonderful; it was many many things.

“It’s not that I’m not happy. I am - I think.” Her expression is softer now, her tears slowing and her voice is strong, all good signs. “It’s only...Well, look at us Cardan! We were two broken halves that miraculously fit together, what do we know about good parenting? I was raised by a blood thirsty Redcap that I no longer speak to and you by an uncaring mother and absent father, how could we possibly raise children of our own without messing them up!”

She had a point. Neither one of them had had loving childhoods, their parents either dead or as good as. Still, if there was one thing he was determined to do now that he was High King with Jude as his queen, it was to write his own destiny. A prophecy had caused his pain but in the end Jude had helped make it his salvation. She herself was a mortal, a mortal who had gone on to become the Queen of the Fae, something that no one would ever have imagined before. Yes, their younger days had left them undeniably scarred and beaten down but not broken, never broken. There’s not much he need reassure her about, not much he needs to help her with but over this, he can.

“Jude, listen to me. You and I, yes, we have our scars. But we also have the power to be who we want to be. Look at where we are now and look at where we started. We have the power to create our own fates, which means that we have the ability to raise our children up together in the way that we want to, regardless of how our own guardians raised us. Will we have some navigation issues along the way? Probably. But will we always try to do our best by our kids and love them unconditionally? Absolutely. And that, My Queen, is how I know that we won’t mess them up. At least, not too badly.”

Her brown eyes are wide, the tear tracks beneath them already drying. A corner of her tantalising lips lifts up. “When did you get to be so wise?”

He smirks, grateful for the levity that was starting to come back, chasing away the tumult. “I’ve always been so, it’s not my fault you were determined not to admit it.”

She shakes her head and laughs and the sound unleashes a warmth inside of him. Smiling now, he wraps his arms around her small frame and pulls her close, breathing in the woodsy scent of her hair and dropping a kiss to the top of her head, love and contentment welling up inside of him like a waterfall.

--------------------------------------

Omg @cupcakesandkittens, I'm so sorry for how long this took, I wasn't quite decided on what I would do for this prompt but I kinda like how it went and I hope you do too💕 Thank you for being such an awesome mutual🌻

Tagging: @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln, @thewickedkings and @kittkatandbooboo 💓

*Please let me know if you'd like to be added to or taken off of my taglist.

[centaurianthropology]

A List of Older Fandoms for Quarantine Viewing

I thought it might be fun to put out a list of older fandoms or smaller fandoms that might be of interest to folks here.  As we’re all still stuck with quarantine, perhaps you’re looking for some new/old media?  Perhaps this list could help?

This is halfway between a rec list and a charting of my own fandom history.  For anyone looking for some new fandoms to check out that are various flavors of interesting and a little older, check ‘em out! 

Feel free to add your own!

In no specific order (other than maybe my DVD shelf??)

Patrick O’Brien books/Master and Commander - this was a fairly good-sized fandom back when the movie ‘Master and Commander’ came out.  A must-watch for anyone who likes historical fiction, age of sail, and powerful homoeroticism.

David Drake’s Royal Cinnabar Navy series - did you ever want Master and Commander in space, but Stephen Maturin is a librarian named Adele Mundy who is a sharpshooter and utterly terrifying and wonderful and beloved ace representation?  Fair warning: this series contains grapic descriptions of violence from an author who’s still working through his Vietnam PTSD.  Here be dragons.

Adam Adamant Lives! -  an Edwardian adventurer got frozen in a block of ice by his arch-nemesis The Face, thawed out in 1969, and now fights crime with a young woman sidekick and an actor-turned-butler who spouts limericks.  It is a completely insane show and joyously dumb.  Everyone involved is having a whale of a time.  It’s hard to come by, but so worth watching it for the pure silliness.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - I can’t believe this has become a fandom some people haven’t heard of, but here we are, far enough out from the massive cultural impact of Buffy that I need to remind folks.  1990s series about a cheerleader-turned-vampire slayer, struggling with both the supernatural and with high school (which is much worse).  

Angel - spinoff of Buffy, and in some ways my preferred series?  It has so many problems, and the writing of seasons 3 and 4 is quite weak, but the characters are strong, the stories are solid, and Alexis Denisof’s Wesley Wyndam-Pryce remains one of my favorite character arcs in television.

Marble Hornets - here’s another fandom that doesn’t feel like it should be old, but it’s now over a decade since its premiere.  One of the early webseries, Marble Hornets is still one of the best.  Well done horror with occasionally iffy amateur acting, easily overcome with a surprising touch for cinematography.  I’m a sucker for amateur film, especially when it’s well done and ambitious.

Babylon 5 - This was the first fandom I posted about on here, and still one of my great loves.  Arcs before arcs on television were a thing.  Huge overarching stories playing out over seasons.  Great political intrigue on a space station.  The grandest, most tragic Shakespearean romance that ever played out between two middle-aged alien diplomats.  

Carnivale - HBO prestige show before they had prestige shows.  Bought the DVDs on the cover art alone, and they were so worth it: “1934.  The Dustbowl.  The last great age of magic.”  Like most HBO shows, every possible content warning does probably apply to this show, though it’s not nearly as extreme as Game of Thrones, so if you could watch that, you can probably watch Carnivale.

Firefly - space western courtesy of Joss Whedon.  Only one series long, but really well done.  Probably Whedon’s best work.

Homicide: Life on the Streets - early 1990s police procedural with a twist: it wanted to be a very accurate, realistic portrayal of a homicide unit, based on a documentary novel.  The characters all feel real, you’re certain they all smell like cigarettes, coffee, and sweat.  Also, can we applaud a show that has a female homicide detective who doesn’t wear makeup, has frizzy red hair, and never wears heels?  Kay Howard is such a fantastic character.  Frank Pembleton and Tim Bayliss and John Munch and Gee are all such wonderful, real characters.  Another great show for prestige-television-before-it-existed.

The Last Detective - British detective series about a detective who gets small, mournful cases ignored by everyone else and solves them mostly through dogged work rather than brilliance.  This show is the most melancholy show I have ever seen, shockingly good in the quietest way possible, and remains one of my favorite detective series ever.

M*A*S*H - have you ever wanted a proper tragicomedy billed as a sitcom?  There’s a reason this show is still considered the greatest sitcom ever made.  Fair warning: the early seasons really haven’t aged well, and a lot of the comedy doesn’t land.  But if you’re willing to stick with it to the later seasons, you’ll find a show that shifts toward one of the greatest tragicomedies ever.  

Sapphire and Steel - 1970s/1980s British horror/sci-fi show about two mysterious beings that appear to resolve science fiction reinterpretations of horror concepts.  Despite a shoestring budget, the writing is phenomenal, and the acting is perfect, particularly the icy intimacy between the two leads, David McCallum and Joanna Lumley.

Sherlock Holmes - before the modern interpretations, there was the 1980s series starring Jeremy Brett.  If you want the single most accurate interpretation of Conan Doyle’s work, with characters who feel and look like they’ve stepped off the page (and the series that singlehandedly rehabilitated the character of Inspector Lestrade), this series is a must-watch.  This has been my go-to comfort viewing for years.

    Also, if you’re a Sherlock Holmes nut, and you’re desperate for more content, and willing to navigate a Cyrillic DVD menu for subtitles, might I suggest the late 70s Russian Sherlock Holmes series?  Vasiliy Livanov’s Holmes is such a different interpretation of the character, and he’s a delight.  And Vitaliy Solomin’s Watson is possibly my favorite Watson ever.  He’s so done with everything.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - sort of the forgotten middle child of the Star Trek series, but in many ways it’s one of the most ambitious.  It was a rival/developed at the same time and somewhat by the same team as Babylon 5, so there are some striking similarities (space station, overarching stories, etc), but while B5 manages the political intrigue better, DS9 does a war better.  It’s the darkest of the Star Trek series, investigating the more tarnished edges of the utopia.  The characters are more deeply developed and flawed, and I love them all.  Andrew Robinson’s portrayal of tailor-with-a-mysterious-past Garak is probably the best character Star Trek ever created in any series.

Hope those of you looking for new things to watch and dig into might find something in this list!

[moonydaydreams]

𝐣𝐮𝐱𝐭𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮

Fandom: It Lives In the Woods

Pairing: MC x Noah, MC x Connor (past)

Words: 7.363 (holy cow)

Summary: Lightning never strikes the same place twice, but a second chance does. Even for someone like Noah Marshall.

Warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT, angst 101 and swearing for dummies

Author’s note: This is my first Choices story and, holy cannoli, this is longer than I intended to be. But nonetheless, this an AU of what could have been had neither Noah or MC sacrificed themselves to take Jane’s place (THIS IS, IN ANOTHER WORD, A FORM OF DENIAL, Y'ALL. CAUSE THAT ENDING WRECKED ME) and Noah fled from Westchester. I’m sorry if the characters seem OOC or the story feels meh. So if you’re digging it or simply detest it, let me know, yeah? thanks!

———————————————————————————–

In a city where the subway stations smell like after-shave and peanut butter and jelly breath smelling college students at nine in the morning, and half of the street names that he still can’t recall to this day, a young man in a beanie, who couldn’t have been more than twenty or twenty-one enters a small 24/7 convenience store with his hands thrust deep inside his coat pockets.

A burly, beer-swilling, 6 feet of a man behind the cashier, elbow-deep in the football magazine in his last season’s Real Madrid jersey, glances up from his reading upon his arrival. His eyebrows narrow.

“Never seen you visiting this late,” Romero comments dryly over the trip-hop music that is playing over the speakers and flicked his eyes back to the magazine. “Did you accidentally shoot your dealer or some shit?“

Romero’s attempt on making small talks with him, albeit as condescending as it sounds, does not fall on deaf ears. But it’s cold outside and he’s hungry and broke, he simply doesn’t have the will to entertain him.

“Shut up. I’m hungry,” replies the young man, stopping by the instant food section. His eyes finding the many varieties of flavors and brands and feels his stomach sick at the amount of artificial food he’s been consuming over the years. It’s like being eight all over again.

“Well, knock yourself out. We just stocked up those crazy spicy Korean ramen you kids can’t seem to stop feeding.” Romero’s face breaks into a mocking grin. “Can’t wait to see you all die from cancer.”

“Instant noodles don’t directly cause cancer on its own, actually.”

Romero burst into laughter. “And how the fuck does a two-bit junkie like you know that, Malcolm?”

The boy’s face involuntarily twitches.

And it isn’t because of how alien the sound when someone addresses him with his fake name or how Romero somehow thinks he has his character all figured out. The thing about living in incognito for years, he’s already become accustomed to those; to prejudices and living up to the persona that people design for him just to inflate their egos and ward them off of his tail in the process. No one wants to affiliate themselves with “the junkie” or “the hot-headed mechanic with suicidal tendencies” and he is more than fine with his solitary.

No. It is the nature of the question that throws him off guard and how his mind all too soon, against his better wishes, refers to her.

Suddenly, he is Noah again. Thirteen years ago at the age of eight, looking out of the window with Jane as they watched a girl about their age in a short tutu dress and combat boots climbing up the oak tree in their backyard to save a distressed kitten.

Their parents saw this, did a double-take, went hysterical and called her parents. He later learned her name was Liz and that she’d just moved into the neighborhood a week ago.

Then he sees Liz again, now a few months after their first encounter, running off to the forest with Jane’s arm linked with hers. He remembers her messy braided hair and freckles multiplied by the sun as they led Noah and the rest of their friends to abandoned ruins they’d somehow stumbled on a week ago. 

His memory of her somehow jumps forward. Now, he sees her in a different light, a different vignette. It is from three years ago this time and she was no longer the Liz all knees, elbows and mud on her shoes young girl from his childhood. She was Liz, on the edge of seventeen, her hair nine shades lighter than when she was a kid (she also had bangs now) with a barbed wire bat in her left hand, and a fire axe in the other, but still the same dark-eyed sprite that made his cold, dead heart skip a beat whenever she looked at his way and smiled that smile of hers; the kind that radiated her cheeks and lit up her eyes. 

The same light that he watched slowly waning from her eyes when she discovered his ulterior plan. 

His heart feels like shattering into smithereens all over again. He doesn’t realize he’s been squeezing on the noodle packet too tight until he hears the contents shatter in his hand. 

“A friend told me,” Noah finds himself saying even before his brain can halt it. Staring blankly at the packet, his mouth dropping into a frown.

He can feel Romero’s gaze on him, curious and confused. Shifting between the packet in his hand and his glazed-over expression. Noah, realizing he’s just projected his emotion right out in the open, huffs and throws the squeezed noodle packet into his shopping basket. 

Romero clears his throat. “Sounds like quite a friend.”

Noah pretends as if the jig isn’t exactly up and decides to actively ignore the older man. He gets the rest of his needs, holding the last of his composure against slipping and brings his groceries to the cashier, looking down at his feet whenever Romero glances at him in genuine concern.

“Catch ya later, Malcolm,” Romero says as he hands Noah the change. “And, uh�� stay safe, you hear me?”

Noah, in return, only nods his thanks, probably a little too curt according to the polite society and leaves.

Outside, thunder begins to roll overhead. Noah eyes the sky nervously. It’s going to rain soon. And hard judging from the way the clouds are moving across the black midnight sky.

Noah rifles for his cigarette pack from his pockets, lights one and begins making his way back to his hellhole of an apartment. Treading slowly through the deserted streets, steering clear from alley-ways and suspicious characters until he can see the window of his apartment.

Then, Noah’s feet skid to a hard stop.

His jaw drops, his cigarette falling unheeded to the ground.

Sitting on the front steps of his apartment building is Liz, swathed in an oversized overcoat, her head leaning onto the railings, she seems to be sleeping.

What in the sweet fuck?

For a good minute, Noah stands stock-still. He simply gazes at his former best friend, nonplussed and borderline panicking. A migraine begins to form in his head. He gazes over his shoulder, watching and waiting for anyone to jump at him from the alley or anything, because there is no way in hell this is not a trap. This can’t be. 

He waits and waits, but no one comes out. Confused, Noah looks at her again, his expression inscrutable. If this is not a trap, then this must be a cruel dream the universe pulls on him for all the wrongdoings he has committed in his life. That, or Noah must have tragically died on his way back home and ascended to heaven. 

But then, if this is heaven, why is he here?

Eventually, Noah kneels before her. He reaches his hand out to her, hesitating mid-move and touches her shoulder.

“Liz?” he gives her shoulder a gentle shake. “Liz, wake up.”

She does. Slowly, her eyes flutter open, bleary and brown, and meets his gaze for the first time in three years. Noah feels like his breath stuck in his throat.

“Noah?” Liz blinks sleepily, twice, then yawns into the back of her hand. “What time is it?”

He glances at his phone. “A quarter past two.”

Liz’s brows furrow. “Huh. What were you doing out so late?”

“Had to do a supply run.” Noah gestures to the shopping bag in his hand. Then, “Liz, what are you doing here?” he asks, his voice a broken whisper.

Liz doesn’t answer his question, merely wraps her arms around herself, attempting to keep warm and sighs tiredly.

“Noah, can we go inside?” she pleas, instead. Desperation fuelling her voice. “I’m tired and cold and I…” she trails off.

Consideration flashes in Noah’s eyes for a moment. The logical part of his head insists for him to take her to the nearest train station and send her off back to Westchester. It’s the right thing to do. Considering that he’s been laying low for years now, the last thing he needs to add to his ongoing headache is for the police to suspect that she’s an accomplice.

But he’s never been the wiser one.

So, he takes her gloved hand and helps her to stand and, after giving one last look at their surroundings, of course, ushers her inside the apartment building. 

Neither says anything as they make their way to the staircase, as they venture through the grimy hallway where the dim and shadowed lights overhead following their every step like vultures and past the occupied doors where a loud, sexual moan comes from behind one of them.

She doesn’t make any comment about the awful state of the place he lives in, while he simply doesn’t have the capacity to be embarrassed because everything happens so sudden, Noah himself is still second-guessing if any of this is real. 

Finally, they stop by his door. Noah produces the key from his wallet when he hesitates, remembering the state of the room the last time he left it.

“A bit of warning, though…” He rubs his neck, embarrassed. “it’s pretty messy inside.”

“It’s fine.”

Noah turns the key and eases the door open.

The rain has started to pour. Noah turns the side lamp on and takes off his coat, his groceries on top of the kitchen counter. He watches as Liz, as if in a daze, tosses her coat and gloves to his bed and walks towards the direction of the window. A hand against the windowpane, the flare of the street lamp outside illuminating her features in the dimness, she silently watches as the rain falls on the pavement. Lost somewhere in the tangled cobwebs of her thoughts.

And it occurs to Noah that she is no longer Liz, on the edge of seventeen with a barbed wire bat in her left hand, and a fire axe in the other. She is Liz, older, with circles under her eyes, the world on her shoulders and a few pounds lighter than he remembers, but still the same dark-eyed sprite and with the pale shades of haired girl that he yearns to wrap his arms around and tells her how sorry he is for all those years ago, for leaving without saying a proper goodbye and how all these years it is her that keeps him going through every day and drives him insane at the same time. 

But he can only remain in his place and forces to quell his desire to do the aforementioned. Because Noah’s pretty sure that privilege is long gone the moment his betrayal came to light. Even to be standing in the very room with her is a crime, yet here they are.

Here she is.

“Liz?“ 

“Yeah?”

“Have you, uh,” his gaze finds the ramen packets, suddenly feeling inspired. “Have you eaten anything?”

She is silent for a while. “No.”

“I’m making ramen, you want some?” 

“Okay.” 

With that, Noah rolls up his sleeves, takes two eggs and a few vegetables from the fridge and begins to work. He ditches the salty packet of MSG and makes his own broth while at the same time, mincing the garlic and green onion and grating the ginger. By the time he sautées the aromatics, Liz makes a beeline from the window and hops onto the counter, watching him distractedly as he continues cooking. 

She stays silent and so does he. Despite the lack of words, everything feels strangely… domestic? Under different circumstances, Noah can easily get used to this; him cooking for her, with her becoming his taste tester whenever he’s experimenting with new recipes he finds on the internet and simply impresses her on a daily basis. Yeah, he can definitely get used to that.

Ten minutes passed, Noah then moves the ‘upgraded ramen’ to the bowls and serves one to her. The taste will probably pale in comparison to the one that her mom used to make, yet it earns him her first smile of the night, albeit small and closed-mouthed, it’s still a smile nonetheless. 

He grabs two cans of beer from the fridge and moves onto the couch with her. They finish their meal within minutes, still in silence. For a moment, the only sound that encompasses the room is the rain and his next-door neighbor who has the TV going in full-blast. That asshole.

Noah reaches out for a cigarette pack from the coffee table, dexterously flicks his wrist so a single one pops halfway out of the carton. He casts her a sidelong glance.

“Do you mind if I…?” he trails off, gesturing to the cigarette. 

Liz’s stare zeroes on the cancer stick, scowling, as if she doesn’t approve of this vice of his, but shrugs nonetheless. 

“So, how, uh…” Noah clears his throat, gathering his courage. How does he do this? How do you break the ice with your former best friend who you happen to have a crush on for more than a decade and almost murdered because your dead twin sister compelled you to do so without being awkward? 

“How are you, by the way?“ he manages to ask behind a plume of smoke. 

“I’m doing okay,” she says but in a tone when someone is obviously not okay.

“Just okay?”

“I…” she hesitates. “Yeah, just okay.” Liz lies and manages a weak smile. Noah decides not to press for more information. “Though I’ve been busy these days. I’m trying to finish my dissertation sometime around next year.”

"Already?” And she nods. Noah whistles, obviously impressed. "I’m guessing you did take the English major?”

Liz’s eyes widened slightly. “You remember." 

"Yeah.” Noah looks down. Of course he remembers, not when it’s impossible to forget the very idea of Liz Mortimer. “And your old man doesn’t try to fight you for this?”

“Nope. After Ja–” she clamps her mouth shut. “I graduated, let’s just say he had a hard time saying no to me.” She chuckles, but just for a good three seconds and Noah doesn’t have to ask why to know the reason behind her father’s sudden change of heart.

“How about you?” she asks, then shakes her head. “I mean, how are you?” She amends.

Heaven knows I’m always miserable, Liz. But he doesn’t say that. “I’m okay, too, I guess." 

"Just okay?” Liz parrots his own words at him and he smiles, the left side of his mouth higher than the right. They may still be painfully awkward to one another, but it feels so good to be talking with her again.

“Nothing new under the sun for me, but I’m thriving. And, um, how’s the others?” a.k.a the bunch of group of friends I hurt.

“They’re alright. Lily started her own video game called Pixie Moon, which I have no doubt will take the world by storm the way Candy Crush did; Ava is writing a book about witch trials; Stace is studying journalism and basically kicking ass; Dan is pursuing psychology; His majesty King Kang himself is playing for the Bighorns; and Lucas, as you can expect, is off to save our earth.”

Noah swallows the information one by one. His face an inscrutable blank. All of his friends somehow have found a place on this earth, they all have moved on except for him, again, who’s still scratching around in the same old hole; his future derived, his past an endless pitfall.

“And Connor?” he asks quietly, when in truth he doesn’t give two-shits about the man. But he knows she does, and Noah loves her too much to let his jealousy dictate his behavior. 

Suddenly, her face falls. Teeth chewing nervously on her lower lip. “He's… fine. He’s probably at home now as we speak.“

“And now you’re a long way from home.”

“So are you.”

Noah shakes his head. “Westchester stopped being my home the moment I turned eight.” He sighs forlornly, looks the other way, hands fidgeting. Force of habit. “Liz, as much as I’m glad to see you, but why did you come here?”

“How long have you been staying here?” Liz evades his question as if he never asked it in the first place.

Noah raises an eyebrow, exhales, but decides to play along. “Since August. So that’s two months. Probably, the longest I have ever stayed in one place.”

“Where have you been all this time?”

“Well, there was Utah and Kansas. Then Minnesota for a couple of weeks, but I couldn’t stand the cold and the rest is history,” he keeps his answer as vague as possible, not when he still has no idea the nature of her visit. “Look, why are you here?”

But still, the girl dodges his question. “Why do you–”

Until his patience can’t simply take it anymore. 

Noah is all but scoots over to her position until their knees are touching, the cigarette forgotten on the ashtray, and grips her arms firmly. His eyebrows knitted as he takes in her stunned face. 

“Liz.” There is a twinge of anger, confusion and desperation in the way he says her name this time. “Why are you here? You know you can’t be here. Goddamn it! If the fucking cops find out that you’re here…” Once he realizes what he is doing, he withdraws his hands as if she’s fire and now he’s burning.

“They won’t. I can assure you that." 

"You don’t know that.”

“I know what I’m doing, Noah. Trust me, I wouldn’t have come here if I knew it’s not safe,” Liz replies, her tone doesn’t leave any room for doubts and he knows there is no way to talk his way around it. Not to mention, he trusts her, if there is anyone who can sneak behind authority and get away with it, it has to be her.

Noah shrugs, agreeable, but he isn’t going to let her off so easily. 

“How did you find me, anyway?” he questions, reaching for his cigarette and takes a deep, long drag just to spite his throat. He has a feeling he might be smoking his misery away all night by the time she’s left.

The blonde-haired girl shrugs and absentmindedly leans her back against the couch, one arm wraps around her midsection. “It wasn’t easy, actually. But I made some new friends in Pine Springs and one of them is acquainted with the newly-minted Police Chief. Pulled a few strings and here we are.” 

“Pine Springs? What the heck were you doing there?”

“It's… a long story. But there were people there needing my help, and in exchange, they helped me track you down. An eye for an eye.”

Lightning suddenly jags across the night sky, briefly illuminating the room, pulling him out of his musings. She jumps at the sound, startled, and instinctively reaches for his hand. Noah freezes at the contact, forgetting how her skin feels like on his or a decent human contact in general. It’s been so long. And somehow he loses the ability to speak, to think.

He definitely doesn’t think when Noah moves his hand under hers, intertwining their fingers together.

Noah feels her head moving, her eyes darting from their joined hands and to his face that turns into a parade of expressions– misery, regret and melancholy. The holy trinity of feelings he’s been bearing for the past three years– for the past thirteen years of his life, actually– and feels her hand squeezing back his. 

“Christ, I can’t believe you went all through that shit just to find me,” he croaks, all but on the verge of tears. “And I left you just like that even without saying sorry.”

“Noah…”

“No, let me say it, Liz. I need to say it.” His hands are trembling, his composure this close from crumbling. “What I did was unforgivable. And I know there is nothing in this world that could help me undo the damage I’ve done to you and how I’ll spend the rest of my day regretting it, but regardless, I’m sorry,” he sobs, his whole body is shaking by now. 

“I’m so sorry for the nightmare I put you through. I was so blinded by my own volition and revenge for Jane’s death that I hurt you, all of you in the process without giving a single rat’s ass about it.” Noah pauses, wipes his tears with the back of his hand. “I’m a monster, Liz. A selfish, heartless, miserable monster. God, I should have died that night.”

“Hey, hey, look at me.” She plucks the cigarette from his other hand, discards it on her empty bowl and places her other hand on his shoulder. “Noah, look at me,” she says again, her voice like a caress. He looks up. “Don’t say that. You are not a monster. You’re just a byproduct of the pain from losing your sister, loneliness and bad parenting. That doesn’t make you a monster. That makes you human.”

“A normal human being wouldn’t lure his friends into abandoned ruins in the middle of a fucking forest where his sister died and put their lives hang in the balance.”

“No, they wouldn’t, but if there is anything Dan taught me is that people react to loss in different ways.”

Noah groans and pushing himself to his feet. “No, don’t try to find a way to justify this. Didn’t you forget, I could have killed you that night. You! The- the only one who gives a fuck whether I’m breathing or not.” The only one who matters. “If you hadn’t stopped her… God, I don’t even want to go there.“

She gets up from the couch as well. “I’m not justifying anything. Yes, what you did to us was… It was harrowing, it was despicable but I also knew the extent of your agony that drove you to do it. I understand… and like what I said that night in the cave; it’s not your fault. Not exclusively, at least. And I forgive you for it.”

“Liz–”

“No, listen to me, we all made mistake–”

He snorts. “Not on a grand scale like this, I bet.”

“Maybe not. But the fact that you give a shit and beat yourself up for years for what you did, that already speaks a lot,” she says. “You’ve tormented yourself enough. It’s not going to do you anything good. It’s not going to erase anything. What you need to do now is to close that book. Get a new one, write a new story, move on. I have forgiven you, I’m sure the others have forgotten about what happened until someone mentions it, it’s your turn now.”

Her words hit him like a piledriver and for the first time in probably like forever, he does feel slightly better. Even if only an infinitesimal amount and even he may won’t be forgiving himself anytime soon, but still, hearing those words coming from her mouth mean the whole world to him. 

“Why did you really come here, Liz?” The question is a tad out of place, but it feels like their previous conversations were made entirely to build up for this. 

Her frown melts away, replaced with somewhere between doubt and conflict. He holds her gaze for a minute, undeterred, then she turns her back on him to face the window once more. The suspense gnaws at him, yet still, he bides his time. 

“I have something to tell you,” she finally says, keeping her voice low.

“What is it?” He replies rather impatiently. When she seems to be hesitating, he adds, “And don’t beat around the bush, Liz.”

A deep breath, foot taps, a hand clutching at the hem of a buttoned-up dress and another deep breath. 

“Connor proposed to me.”

A beat. Then,

“Oh,” and it’s barely audible. And Noah feels like his heart has been torn from his chest, thrown into the ground, drags it through the mud then stomps on it for good measure. And that he feels worse and emptier than he was before she came here. “Congratulations.”

The words that come out of his mouth could have been his, because he can barely hear his own voice in this white noise. He always knew Connor and her were smitten with each other the moment she stepped into the hardware store for the first time, but Noah doesn’t expect it all would extend to marriage.

She looks over her shoulder, half-turned, one eye on him. “I wasn’t finished.”

Noah blinks at her, momentarily confused. “What?”

“I…” her voice wavers. When she turns to face him again, she is pinching the bridge of her nose. Her eyes scrunched up. “Ah, fuck this is never going to be easy. Long story short, I freaked out, made a scene at a restaurant, ended our three-year on-and-off relationship and went here.”

“Wait, what?”

Liz shrugs, guiltily, all Atlas-and-the-weight-of-the-world.

“Yeah,” she, much to his surprise (and concern), chokes a laughter, manic and loud. “Yeah, I did it. I fucked up the longest relationship I’ve ever had and broke my best friend’s brother’s heart because I wasn’t ready, because I’m an idiot.” When she does look at him, her eyes are bright. “Because I’m in love with someone else.”

For a brief, candid moment, Noah’s brows furrow as his mind goes to one of his former friends. Is it Dan? Ava? Or could it be Lucas? Because the last time he saw them together, they were pretty inseparable– although their relationship is strictly platonic as far as he’s concerned. Has that dynamic changed after he left? 

Then Noah realizes her eyes are still on him– and quite expectantly, that is, and that’s not… no, that can’t be right, can it? 

His demeanor shifts drastically as he stands there, stunned silence. Disarmed by her confession. 

He tries to speak, but his jaw won’t shut back to its place; his brains short-circuiting.

“Yes, I have loved you ever since I’ve known you, Noah Marshall,” Liz mutters when he remains silent. He can tell this is something she’s been holding in for a long time. “Even though we hadn’t spoken to each other for years after Jane, there hadn’t been a day that I didn’t think of you. When we finally reconnected three years ago, I wanted to say all these things to you, but..” she smiles wistfully. “Well, shit happened.”

“Why?” Of all the people you could have fallen in love with, why me? What he means to ask.

“Because you understand me like no one else; because you climbed up to my window to bring me your homemade grilled cheese sandwich when I was grounded when we were 8; because you actually listened and showed me that my vulnerability doesn’t always have to be my weakness; because I love the way you wear your beanie like 24/7 and the way you shake my hair whenever I say something stupidly amusing to you. Because it’s you!”

“No.” It’s a denial, it’s an attempt to ward her off from someone like him. It’s a lie. “No, no, no, no, no, Liz, you can’t fall in love with someone who’s-who’s mentally unstable or tried to kill you in the past, that’s like…” he gesticulates wildly. “Crazy! You are crazy!”

“I’m sorry, are you any better?”

“Of course not! But to forgive me is one thing, Liz, to love me, that’s a whole different level of insanity.” Noah begins to pace agitatedly around the room back and forth. “Fuck. I can’t hear this. Not from you.”

“Why not?” He sees the hurt expression on her face. Then interrupts just as soon as he opens his mouth. “Noah, I’m not asking for your answer this instance–heck, I’m not even asking you to reciprocate my feelings, but please don’t invalidate my emotions. Not when I waited for years to say it to you.”

“But this fucking complicates everything!” Noah points out.  

“Maybe. Maybe not, but you don’t know that,” she says resolutely, echoing his words from before. 

Noah doesn’t say anything in return.

She steps closer and slowly raises her palm to cup his cheek, an attempt to calm the storm within him. His hand grasps her wrist before she can make contact. 

“Noah–" 

His breathing quickens. Noah swallows and shakes his head.

“Liz, we can’t do this. No matter…” he sighs, his eyes boring into hers. Here he is, again, dangling on the edge of damnation, of what’s right and wrong. It’s wrong, yet he knows that she knows, from the heat and electricity that dance between them, from the pressure of his fingers that tell different stories, that he, too, wants the same thing.

“No matter what, Noah?” She murmurs, staring up at him with hopeful eyes. She really wants him to say it, does she?

He extricates her hand from him, taking steps back, putting as much distance he can from her. “Forget it.”

“Look, Noah, if you feel what I think you’re feeling, then what is it that you’re afraid of?" 

Noah whirls around to face her again. "Everything! Can’t you see that if we do this, the world will turn against us?" 

“Since when do you care about other people’s opinions?”

“I wasn’t worrying about me.”

"Well, I don’t give a fuck what others or this thrice-damned world thinks!” she exclaims mulishly. “After all we’ve been through, is it so wrong to be selfish, to follow your own heart just once– just once? Is it– don’t you care about what you want?”

“I want-” Noah stops. His hands tugging at his red beanie cap. “Never mind what I want.”

Her voice is quieter now. “What do you want, Noah?”

For an interminable moment, heavy with the promise of both release and regret, he only stares at her. Contemplating his options.

Perhaps loving her shouldn’t be the sin he thought it was, especially when she wants the same thing in return. Although he’s more than aware that he’s the last person in this world who deserves her affection, but deep down, Noah knows that he’ll never forgive himself if he didn’t run the risk now and spent the rest of his life wondering what it felt like instead.

“You.” Always you.

She holds his gaze. “Then have me.”

And as if an unknown force was taking over his body, Noah crosses the distance between them, his free hands cradling her face, drawing her close and kisses her.

It’s like a dam breaking, everything floods out. They do not kiss gently, desperation orchestrating their every move that the world around him grows distant and dim.  Twelve years of pining for each other, of secretive glances, of murder attempt and mutual misery and it all leads them to this. His thumb skimming the curve of her throat and feels her pulse leaps. He stops. Worrying if he’s crossed the line.

But Liz grabs the front of his clothes, pulling him even closer– as if they aren’t close enough– and kisses him back with a matching fervor. Her body pressed against his, warm and unfamiliarly familiar, and Noah swears his heart skips when she emits a quiet desperate noise that he happily swallows. 

Suddenly, Noah pulls back. “Liz, I’m sorr–” he says breathlessly.

“No, don’t you dare apologize,” she says firmly, her lips still tinged pink from their kiss. “I… I started this.” Her tongue darted out over her lips. “Are you okay with this?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I want this.” Noah’s hands dropped to her waist, his cheeks burned. He’s inexperienced, yes, and it shows, yes, but this is Liz. The last thing she does is to laugh at his face about it. “You?”

“You have no idea.”

His cheeks grow redder. “I’m, uh… now what?" 

"I think,” she leans in, tiptoeing, her arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders and playfully says, “I want you to kiss me again.”

Noah grins, more relaxed now knowing he has her consent. “I think I can provide that.”

He let her set the pace this time. Kissing him softly and sweetly, but as equally mind-blowing as the first time before the next thing he knows, they are kissing senselessly once more; the next thing he knows, she swipes her tongue on his lower lip. Drawing a surprised groan from him. His lips instinctively open up to her ministrations and he is rendered weak when Noah feels her warm tongue delves into his mouth. He tries to follow her example, but can hardly navigate through his own mind every time.

He can feel her fingers toying and tugging his beanie off, her nails grazing his scalp and his desire rocketed. And this time, Noah isn’t afraid to act, as his hands on her waist slowly glide upward; from her hips to her ribs, stopping just under her breasts which results in Liz’s breath to hitch in his mouth. His mouth travels down her jaw, the length of her neck, her collarbone. 

When he finds himself on the bed, on his back, and Noah has absolutely zero clue how or when he got that way. 

He sits up. Without thinking, grabs her hips to pull her onto his lap, hands rough, settling her against him as he tips her head upward and continues his onslaught on her neck. Her hands on his shoulders, coming up to the strands of his hair. Encouraging him, guiding him lower and lower until his mouth reaches her clothed breast. 

“Oh my god.” Liz’s eyes closed in pure bliss, caught up in the sensation, and ground her hips against him and, fucking hell, the friction feels so good and erotic and sets his entire being alight that Noah isn’t fast enough to stop the low, rumbling moan that comes from his mouth. 

“Fuck,” Noah swears and rolls his hips in response. At this rate, even if he wants to, he can’t hide the evidence of his physical desire, growing hard against her, making her produce these small high-pitched gasps every time his bulge brushes her just right, her pupils blown to hell and fucking fuck.

He is dry humping Liz. Liz. His sister’s best friend. His Achilles’ fricking heel. Good fuck, if Jane was still alive, what would she say about this?

“Noah?” She whispers.

He doesn’t realize he’s been lost in his own thoughts. “Sorry.” Noah mentally clears his head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to space out on you back there.”

She stares at him, seemingly unconvinced. “Did I go too far?" 

"What? No, no, you are incredible. Don’t worry.” To prove his point, he gives her thigh a distracting squeeze. “Liz, what if I say I want more? What if I say that I want you?”

Liz is quiet for a while. “Are you sure?" 

"Yeah. I know the last time we met I said I wasn’t ready for dating and stuff, but it’s you. And if you’re up for it, I’m game, but if you–” Liz chuckles at his stammering. Whispering “You’re fucking adorable” as Noah groans and hides his face on the crook of her neck. “Liz, you’re fucking driving me out of my mind here.”

“Well, I’m game.” Liz leans in and kisses his temple. Noah can practically hear her smile from here. “You know, for someone who seemed adamant on pushing me away, you’re awfully eager.”

He grins, running his finger down her spine until every hair in her body stood up. “Keep teasing me, and you’ll regret it, Mortimer.”

“Bite me, Marshall.”

Noah does bite, literally, on that delicious spot under her ear before flipping her onto her back on the bed, making her giggle like a drunken schoolgirl; making her dress hike up to her thigh, just enough for him to see her underwear. He settles himself atop her, right between her legs. His hips and an unmistakable hardness press firmly against her soft thighs. 

This is it, then. The wheels are in motion now and Noah can scarcely believe this is happening.

She props up on her elbows and begins undoing the buttons of her dress with great speed, eyes never leaving his until she pulls him for another searing kiss. Then Liz raises her legs, wrapping them around his waist and rolls her hips once more.

She moans softly, as Noah’s mouth trails wet kisses down her throat, nipping and sucking as he goes, until it finds its way to her nipple. He bucks up into her, growling, as he takes her other nipple in his mouth. His shaky hand makes to drop her legs away from his waist, yanks the hem of her dress upward and dips between her legs, slipping past the waistband of her underwear to touch her that she jolts, gasping and moaning loudly altogether. 

Liz writhes, her hands clutching onto his sweatshirt like a lifeline, head tilted back as her hips involuntarily move against his hand, desperate for relief. Noah inserts two fingers, watching with heated gaze for her reaction as he pumps in and out, long and slow, short and fast. Pushes deeper, crooks his fingers a little. The rough pad of his thumb rubbing her clit in fast circles until her moan grows increasingly loud and she comes hard, shattering into Noah’s fingers. 

When it’s over, Liz is a panting, limp noodle.  She lays there, properly spent, smiling contently at the ceiling with heavy, bedroom eyes. Noah hovers above her, kissing her nose with a newfound satisfaction as he watches her trying to even her erratic breaths.

“Whoa.” She breathes out. “I guess I should have known those hands weren’t made only for kitchen knives.” And lazily wraps her arms around his neck. “Jesus, I’m wasted.”

His teeth gently nibbling her earlobe, his hand teasing her nipple again. “I’m nowhere near done with you.” Fingers trailing down to her warm, still over-sensitive slit again that Liz shudders like a flower. “Not even close.”

“I can’t–” And Noah freezes, thinking if he’s gone too far. “No more foreplay. Fuck me, Noah. Now. Please, I want you.”

In an uncontrolled frenzy, Noah pulls away from her, removes his sweatshirt while Liz assists with the buttons of his shirt. He works on his belt, freeing his member from the tight confines of his jeans and pulls her panties over her knees. Not bothering with the rest of her dress.

They kiss again as he repositions himself above her. Liz’s hand reaches down to grab him, guides the head toward her entrance, her legs once again settling around his waist. 

In his head, Noah mentally prepares himself, counts to five, then slides his girth into her. The two groan in unison at the joining.

“Jesus fuck.” Noah’s head flops forward, jaw clenching. He is inside her, and it feels a dizzying kind of spectacular. “Fuck, Liz, you feel so good.”

Below him, a crackling gasp escapes her lips, her mouth drops into a perfect circle as her head falls back to the bed and looking oh so beautiful. Noah begins to rock his hips into her, the strands of his brown hair brushing against her damp forehead, the parts of his brain that enable him to think slowly shut down. His hand wanders to touch every part of her body.

Everything is on fire. Everything feels so fucking good.

“Look at me.” She does, through lidded eyes, lashes heavy with arousal. “Say my name.” Noah never really thought he would be this vocal in bed, but there’s just something about Liz that brings this side of him. “Say it, Liz.”

“Noah,” Liz moans his name, clinging to him like mad, nails raking his back. “Noah, shit. Faster.”

Noah wordlessly obliges, liking the way she thrashes underneath him. Her breaths coming faster, higher so he moves even faster, pounding into her with reckless abandon just to show her how much strength he has. He finds himself growling rather animalistic against her skin, biting her shoulder. Feeling himself drawing closer and closer to the edge. He isn’t going to last any longer.

He puts a hand between them to rub her clit and Liz’s eyes roll back.

“Ooohh, god. N-noah!” she cries out, her words quickly morphed into a desperate wail. "Don��t stop, don’t stop, oh, please!”

Liz is a blubbering mess, screaming against the pillow. It is too much. The combination of his cock fucking her mercilessly and the friction his fingers provided on her sensitive spot is enough to make the girl convulse pathetically on the bed. 

When she comes, he follows not long after. Going rigid and groaning gutturally in her ear, emptying himself inside her.

When the ripples have passed, Noah collapses on top of her. Both panting and sweating from… whatever is it that just happened between them. Liz cradles him against her breasts, peppering tired kisses to his hair that is now sticking out wildly in every direction, locking him in her embrace, their left hands intertwining.

They stay like that for a few minutes, in a very much comfortable silence since she first set her foot here before Noah rolls to the side on the bed.

“Holy shit, we just had sex,” he says when he’s regained the power to speak again.

Liz chuckles and turns to face his side, sticking one of her legs between his while he pulls the covers over their forms. “Yep. Though, honestly, I never would have thought we’d end up having sex when I came here tonight.”

“Liz, I didn’t even know you’d be coming over. I can safely say tonight has been one hell of a surprise after another.”

She doesn’t say anything. At least not for a while.

“I hope you know I meant every word that I say to you,” she says kindly. “You’re not the villain in the story, but neither you are the hero. You are human, with your flaws and all, and I love you despite all of it.”

“Except you. You are an angel, Liz.”

“Noah, I basically turned down Connor’s marriage proposal, broke up with him and went straight into your arms in a matter of days.” She sighs guiltily. “No, we all just wear our demons differently.”

“Maybe. But you said it yourself, we are all just humans with our flaws and all. But you,” Noah turns and cups her cheeks in his hands. “you will always be an angel in my book. You saved me, Liz. When the whole world raised their torches and forks on me, you freaking saved me where you could have fed me to the mob. You’re the reason why I’m still here today and I love you for it, you hear me?” He pulls her into his arms when a tear starts to fall from her eye. 

“I’m so in love with you, Elizabeth Mortimer. Always have and always will.” He kisses her cheek. “You’re the kindest, most beautiful, the brightest human being I’ve ever known. I’m the luckiest person to have you be in love with me and if you’re up for it, I want to build a world around you.” He adds, “Instant noodles included.”

Liz laughs, still teary-eyed, shoves him playfully on the shoulder, feigning a glare. “You jerk. Always have the flair to ruin a moment.”

Noah chuckles. “Technically, you love instant noodles, so it’s only right, don’t you think?” She shoves him again. “And I’m your jerk now.”

“My jerk.” Yet she says it the same way someone says ‘my love’. “I love you too, Noah Marshall. And I want to build that world together with you.”

Noah smiles. Because he loves her and because for the first time in forever, his life makes fucking sense.  

Yes, he doesn’t know whether their relationship will last or will it crash and burn in the future, but at this exact moment, he’s happy and it seems that she does too. And that is all that matters now.

And if there is one thing that he’s sure of is that he knows that he doesn’t ever want to let this go. Not in a million years.

[ladyxanatos]

Daenerys Targaryen is the main character of GoT… by accident

(Credit where credit is due: I am building on meta I’ve seen floating around fandom in other places)

Game of Thrones is now Daenerys’ story. Before S8, GoT arguably had three main characters: Dany, Jon, and Tyrion. But S8 retroactively changes that and the story is now Dany’s and Dany’s alone.

Every single character (with one exception I’ll get to later) who survives to S8 has their entire narratives and character arcs hijacked and redirected into serving Dany’s narrative. Everyone and everything is diverted into maneuvering Dany to her end point. The entire overarching story, and all the characters’ individual stories that comprise it, warps and bends itself completely out of shape in service to the Mad Queen reveal.

Jon’s parentage and Targaryen heritage are only relevant because of how they impact Dany’s arc and mental state. The Long Night must precede the fall of King’s Landing because Jorah must die in order to further weaken Dany’s mental stability and further isolate her from “good” advice, and also to put her and her forces in a generally more vulnerable position. Arya kills the Night King  try to undermine Dany’s status as the Savior and minimize Dany’s importance to the North. Sansa mistrusts and hates Dany for no reason other than feeding the conflict between Dany and the North, while feeding into Dany’s own trust issues and paranoia. Jaime can’t get redemption because a character we care about has to die in the King’s Landing firestorm doing something “noble” (i.e. protecting his sister-lover). The travesty that is the characterization of Varys and Tyrion is solely in the service of the Mad Queen narrative (there’s more than enough meta on that already in existence, I don’t feel the need to add much to it).

The whole entire story warps around Dany’s supposed villain arc. Every character has their individual arc trajectories, which had been painstakingly laid out over seven seasons, completely dismantled and reassembled with only one goal: Dany’s demise. Every characters’ story is now subordinate to Dany’s.

This also means that since the end of all these characters’ narratives is the sole purpose of bringing about Dany’s death, this retroactively means that their arcs in their entirety, across the whole eight seasons of GoT’s run, are now about Dany. Making Daenerys Targaryen the sole main character of Game of Thrones, because she is the epicenter that the entire narrative revolves around.

And the best part is that this was done completely by accident and through the sheer incompetence of the showrunners. They were so desperate to vilify Dany and had also imposed such a strict and completely artificial time constraint on themselves, that they had to wreck their whole story to make it happen and as an (I’m very confident) unforeseen consequence the whole story is now about Dany and no one else.

This is why, in the last half of the final episode after Dany’s death, the show and all its characters feel strangely and suddenly…rudderless. The whole reason for being of the show and every last one of its surviving characters is dead, taking all the heart and the meaning with her, and now we’re stuck watching a bunch of characters just kinda jangling pointlessly around inside an empty, vacuous narrative devoid of meaning.

That’s why the second half of the finale feels so odd and it’s so difficult to stay engaged with it, and ultimately its why the ending Stark Victory Montage falls incredibly flat, ringing absolutely hollow despite Ramin Djawadi’s best musical efforts to try and force the audience to feel something--or just anything at this point.

And so, that is how D&D, in their petty small-minded zeal to destroy a female character whose religious imagery and savior narrative had spun wildly out of their control making her more popular than their white male faves, accidentally made Daenerys Targaryen the main character of their show, while they were actually trying to vilify and discard her like garbage, in a twist of dramatic irony.

They also retroactively made Dany a tragically maligned messianic figure, because they utterly failed to actually vilify her or make her the Mad Queen. They worked so hard to make every character around her incessantly talk about nothing but her madness, bending every character to serving her narrative, but then “kinda forgot” to write her as Actually Mad. All they succeeded in doing is painting her as a ruthless military commander who mercilessly refuses to accept an enemy’s surrender, which sure, is morally yikes, but is not a sign of actual madness.

A great example of just how bad this laziness in the writing gets is the way D&D use quasi-nazi-esque imagery to hurriedly frame Dany as Evil in the last episode, but don’t actually fill that imagery with content to match. Dany isn’t proposing racial cleansing (stop calling the destruction of King’s Landing genocide, omfg. Words mean things. And destroying a city =/= attempting to wipe out an entire race. Get off my lawn) or presenting the Unsullied or Dothraki (or herself an a Valyrian) as the Master Race; she’s not spewing nazi propaganda. She’s talking about conquering the world, but many leaders throughout history have had that goal, and they weren’t nazis by default. But D&D still use that cheap visual shorthand to try and quickly prejudice the audience against Dany, because they “kinda forgot” to write her an actual villain arc.

So, not only is everything now about her, but Dany is now a tragic failed messianic figure, Jon is now her Judas who literally betrays her with a kiss, and she is murdered by characters and a narrative that have framed her as Mad while in actual fact she is not. So, not only is this now The Story of Daenerys Targaryen, it is specifically The Tragedy of Daenerys Targaryen. By accident.

Now, for that one exception I of spoke of earlier. The only character in S8 to not have their whole arc hijacked in service to Dany’s tragedy, and the reason Cleganebowl is so satisfying, is Sandor Clegane. His arc remains purely his own and he remains on the trajectory he had been on since the beginning.

Complaints that S8 “throws out Sandor’s character development,” opining that S6 was somehow about “redeeming” him from his vengeance quest, must be from people who…didn’t actually watch S6.

Sure, the Hound encounters a septon (I refuse to call him Meribald) with whom he forms a fledgling bond, and this septon opines that “violence is a disease” and “you don’t cure a disease by giving it to more people,” sure. But then when the guy is murdered by rogues from the Brotherhood, Sandor immediately picks up an axe, tracks them all down, and murders them gruesomely in an act of vengeance, effectively spreading the disease of violence to yet more people.

This ain’t a guy who just turned away from his path of vengeance; this is a guy who’s just reestablished that vengeance is his whole entire arc. S7 also supports this, by having Sandor confront his brother in the Dragon Pit and declare, “You know who’s coming for you. You’ve always known.”

So, S8 Cleganebowl was not “out of nowhere” and was completely in keeping with where Sandor, on the show, was always headed.

Sandor Clegane’s arc remains his own in S8, he’s never sidetracked by hand-wringing about Dany’s “madness” or plotting Dany’s downfall, and he remains on the track he has always been on, which is why his arc resolution is so satisfying (even if we can debate the morality or thematic soundness/faithfulness to the books’ anti-vengeance themes). Although he does die in Dany’s firestorm at King’s Landing, which fire he and his brother burn in is arbitrary. Sandor Clegane is the only character with an arc that stays clear of Dany’s blast radius.

Literally every other characters’ arc gets caught in that blast radius, which is why Dany takes down not only the entire show but all of its characters (save one) with her, and retroactively becomes its main character.

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 123 Poll Results

The chapter 123 poll closed with 1,732 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

This month’s poll team: alooulla, @attraversiamo19​,  @erensjaegerbombs​ @momtaku​, _Puppet_ , @reikukaja​​, @shifter-lines​

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,732 Responses

This chapter was down slightly from the previous two but it hardly matters considering ¾ of the fandom have given it the highest possible rating. The manga continues to excite and impress month after month and it shows.

The end has come…

I'm both excited and horrified. I'm still hoping for another twist!

"Eren has a secret plan that doesnt involve genocide" And other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself!

I loved the flashbacks. It was the calm before the storm and we saw the 104th happy for one last time. 💔

Am I allowed to ground my 19 year old fictional adopted son

Amazing and beautifully drawn. I can’t wait for the next chapter

Genocide - Xenocide - Mass Murder - the friggin' APOCALYPSE -- whatever you want to call it, it's not the answer! Unless you're a god. And you know? I'm starting to think Eren is beyond our human judgment.

At first I was disappointed, I couldn’t believe that Eren would choose such a path especially since you have to consider just how much he values life and believes everyone deserves a chance ‘because they were born into this world’. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that there was simply no other way.

The world: we shall banish this devils on that island Eren: NO U

I loved everything about this chapter. It had great humor, drama, violence, bombastic imagery...everything that I love about SNK

Gotta give Isayama the credit, he really put effort and thought in all of this.

I'm having withdrawals already, where's the next chapter?????

cow car cow car cow car cow car cow car

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,772 Responses

In a chapter filled with sweet flashback moments, it was “Eren’s declaration of intentions through Paths” that snagged nearly ⅓ of the vote. “Eren and Mikasa’s intimate late night conversation” (17.8%) and “The 104th throwing one last party” (13%) rounded out the top three.

I feel overwhelmed. It was bittersweet. I enjoyed reading the chapter from Mikasa's POV, plus her moments with Eren, Levi and the clown, Hanji saying "Hello car!", Sasha eating... I'M NOT CRYING AT ALL.

Eren Jaeger is best boy <3

Call me biased, I love wholesome moments so much, and we FINALLY see Levi and Hange after EIGHT whole months

Mikasa eating ice cream is the most adorable thing ever

Levi in a suit made me cry, scream, and nut all at once. I was left confused with emotions for an hour on my bed, nearly comatose at 1:30pm. By the time I realized what had happened, I looked at my phone again and saw the screenshots I took and started hyperventilating so hard I was drooling. It was great. 11/10, would do it again.

I really enjoyed the 104th getting drunk together, and it was so... Sad to see Armin ramble at Mikasa whilst she looks at him with uncertainty as he desperately tries to convince himself that Eren is on their side. Also, the moments with the car and Levi with the clown are genuinely hysterical.

Would be die from cuteness overload watching Mikasa eating ice cream!

  WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP? 1,778 Responses

Three characters dominated this question’s responses, leaving the rest relegated to a small portion of the graph. Where have we heard that before?

43.5% of you thought Eren was the MVP of this chapter, while nearly 31% thought it was Mikasa. At a somewhat distant third, Levi is in at just shy of 18%.I can’t be sure why this distribution is the way it is, but my guess is because saving immigrant children is really in season right now, but not nearly as much as genocide.

Eren is a GOAT!!!

OMG! Levi how I've missed you.

MIKASA'S NARRATION AND ACTUAL AGENCY. GIMME MORE!

  WHAT WAS THE FUNNIEST COMMENT ABOUT THE CAR? 1,761 Responses

Poll worker #8 here. I haven’t read the rest of the results yet, but I’d guess the lighthearted nature of this question is going to be sorely needed given some of the other content in this chapter.

Onyankopon’s realization that the Paradisians really are just Like That™ got first place in this question, being voted for by a solid 40.9% of respondents. Hange’s “Hello, car!” secured second place with 23.7% of the vote, and Levi, who knows that the gang is Like That™, got third place with a clean 19% for his prediction.

  AFTER LAST MONTH’S CLIFFHANGER, WE IMMEDIATELY JUMP TO FLASHBACKS! WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE SHIFT? 1,753 Responses

More than two-thirds of respondents really enjoyed the flashbacks juxtaposed with last month’s cliffhanger. 17% of you liked them, but would’ve preferred that this chapter start in the present, and 9.7% were glad they were there, but thought that they took up too many pages.

The flashback in general might not have been necessary but it was very much appreciated for once. It took me back to the comedy panels Isayama used to scatter in other arcs. It may also serve the purpose of making us remember how much we love these characters before they kill them all in front of us because Yams is sadistic like that and there is no way he won't enjoy our tragic tears. Love him though.

I didn't mind the flashbacks coz it was so nice to see characters like Sasha, Levi and Hange again :'(

I honestly thought the flashback was important, it showed when and why Eren was changing, to later show us what it had led to. I feel like more flashbacks are important before we truly dwell into the rumbling fully.

I really appreciated the flashbacks, the chapter overall was amazing.

  MIKASA WONDERS IF EREN’S EVER REALLY CHANGED, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 1,761 Responses

The air around how Eren is viewed has changed immensely since chapter 1, but has he?  The large majority at 77.3% feel he’s developed, but is still the same core person.  12% think he’s a completely different person, and 8.5% don’t believe he’s ever changed one bit in essence.

Eren doesn't really change, all he did was to focus his grudge on the people outside the walls after he knew the truth about the titans and I believe that Mikasa never knew Eren, properly.

He is the same as he ever was, what changed was our perception of him.

He's experienced more of life and developed his perspective under ever-changing circumstances, as we all do, but his core principles appear to have been the same since the day he was born - freedom is his right, and he will have it by any means necessary.

Eren will fight others for what he sees as freedom. Unfortunate, since we can never truly be free of the limitations we place on each other simply by virtue of existing together, but then Eren has never been particularly thorough in thinking things through.

He has changed in the way of his mental state. He is no longer “just” Eren. He is more like his father than ever, and he’s probably having an identity crisis.

Everyone changes as they grow older, it's impossible not to. Especially given that Eren also has the Memories of multiple persons. He even states so in his conversation with Reiner that he now understands them. So he did change, that not the question. But his will the live a life in freedom and destroying whoever tries to take this away from his, this didn't change at all.

He always had the potential to become who he is now, but he was not always a monster. he used to be a fundamentally good person with a dark side. he felt compassion towards innocents and regret/remorse over their deaths. now he locked that compassion away and let that dark side overwhelm him. he is broken.

His ideals are the same but they've amplified dangerously

There’s two sides to Eren. His good side never changed, but his potential for darkness has deepened.

It's sad that his idea of saving what he thought was all of humanity turned out to really only be an idea of saving Paradis. At the start of the series, it gave him an empathetic nature. Now, he's rather cold.

He has changed since the moment he touched Historia's hand and saw that 「THAT SCENERY」

  WHAT DO YOU INTERPRET BY EREN BEING "SPACED OUT", AS ARMIN PUTS IT? 1,729 Responses

Eren was acting rather odd this chapter, and while Armin picked up on it he didn’t seem to know why.  We have a pretty even split, with 47.3% thinking he’s having second thoughts about going through with a plan that would put these civilians in harm; meanwhile 45.5% believe he already knows they’re going to die.  3.3% think he’s just in awe of the new people and technology.

A mix of all the above

He is seeing his future memories and want's to see for himself whether or not they are the real truth, and the more he sees the more he comes to find out it's exactly as his memories have guided him

He sees the technology and the people and wonders how humans can treat each other in such horrible ways.

Being consumed but all the past Attack on Titans while experimenting things first time himself. Kind of like a deja-vu.

Both indecision and sadness as well as general depression due to his experiences and having to come to terms with what he sees as the only solution.

Coming to terms with the reality of the outside world, and Paradis' place in this world

General sadness and indecision. He’s seen all this before in memories and I think he’s just broken-hearted

He's searching for any reason not to go through with the plans he's already forming, but at every turn he just sees more that enforces his path (the mistreatment of Eldian refugees, the outreach commission that just wants to use Paradise as a scapegoat). He's spaced out because he isn't looking at little things like ice cream or cars like the rest of them, but instead trying to find any last spark of hope.

Realizing that this place is filled with many people and useful technology but he has to do the plan that will harm everything outside the walls for his own kind

Eren spaced out because he realized how much harm he'll put on his friends but he has no choice but to do it.

He feels nothing because he is a psychopath

Yum, tasty human rumbling patties

  WHAT DID EREN MEAN WHEN, AFTER SHEDDING A TEAR, HE SAID NOTHING HAS HAPPENED TO THE BOY FROM THE MARKET YET? 1,751 Responses

After acting strange upon arriving in Marley, Eren’s seen crying for seemingly no reason over the boy they met.  44.2% believe he’s seen the boy die in the rumbling, 35.4% believe that Eren knows it’s a cruel world this boy has to live in and is fearful of his future, and 18% think Eren knows something else terrible will happen to him.

When I saw that tear running down Eren's cheek, I suddenly felt so emotional that I cried too.

I certainly enjoy the vagueness of character moments such as these. Before I state my interpretation of the scene, I don't think eren knows the boy's fate like an omniscient being. He can only assume the future he saw when touching Hisu's hand is the cruel fate that will snuff the life out of this poor child. I'd say all of the above, minus the "He saw" bit.

He already had the intention of killing every non eldian and has an internal conflict because of this

He already knows he rumbled the world from Grisha's memory so I think he's mourning for every innocents that died bc of that.

He didn’t see the boy specifically. He saw the rumbling. Connecting to the boy makes him sad cuz he probably won’t make it through the rumbling. That’s why he’ll talk to the boy Personally 1on1 (memory shard), something like “you have to do X when time comes to survive”.

He saw himself in the boy and remembered the day he lost his home and his mum.

He's reminding himself of the day everything was taken from him and where he's forced to live in a refugee camp. Also he'll need to boy to get in Fort Slava.

I think hearing all those people talk about how they'll punish the kid reminded him of Grisha's sister getting killed, and he believes its only a matter of time for the boy to receive a similar fate.

The boy and his family most likely will reject and hate Eren after finding out that he is an Eldian. Eren knows that they are good people and they don't deserve to die, but even them are going to push the Eldians away, that why peace between Eldians and humanity isn't possible in Eren's eyes.

The boy was just like him, a refugee. The difference is that the child wasn’t alone in the world, and was able to stay cheerful despite everything.

He knows he finna die in the rumbling

  WHY DID EREN ASK MIKASA WHAT HE IS TO HER? 1,735 Responses

Some fantastic responses here. The majority of you seem to think Eren is seeking some form of reassurance; that he is a good person, and that he matters to her, but that the scene is not particularly framed as romantic, which as an answer only achieved third place. A number of responses focused on the fact that he might be testing if the Ackerbond is true; though it is debatable whether or not he knows of its existence at this point. Given his access to memories and Yelena’s presence on Paradis, it is not impossible that he does. At the core of the responses though, was the idea that he’s just a young man feeling guilty and seeking reassurance that he matters and is cared for.

He was testing to see if her response would be the same as how he saw it in his partial future vision.

He was questioning how free she was. Is her ties to him because of a debt owned from saving her? An obligation to family? Ackerman loyalty? He wants her love for him to be a genuine choice of hers - freedom.

He was trying to figure out whether or not the Ackerbond is true.

He's depressed and needs to know he matters

I think Eren was trying to find out if his friends love him for being "Eren", or if they simply stay by him because of loyalty. I think he was trying to find the strength to go through with the plan.

Let's break it down. The context of the situation is eren's sadness over the people he will have to kill especially the kids as he was watching the kid even eariler. now, eren is worried that mikasa's care for him is based on the belief  that he's a good person who saves kids but it's not who he truly is, he has it in him to kill kids and he will. So is her care genuine if it's build upon an idealized image she has of him? He asks because he has to know and he asks and he asks again and it takes this many attempts to get mikasa to say her answer slowly. I think isayama wanted to create the impression that mikasa had a different answer in mind(that she's in love with him) then the one she gave and eren could see that so he took it to mean that " family" wasn't wholehearted. He didn't find the confidence he looked for, that her familal love was why she cared for him and not her misplaced loyalty to a saint. He had a shred of doubt that he will take to his meeting with zeke who will tell him about the ackerbond

Maybe he wanted to hear that he is just Eren and not the savior of Paradis Island or some sort of devil.

  DO YOU THINK THE SCENE BETWEEN EREN AND MIKASA WAS FRAMED AS ROMANTIC? 1,761 Responses

Now this scene was very interesting. 47% of you think the scene was ‘somewhat’ romantic; that it had romantic elements to it, that it was romantic on Mikasa’s part but not Eren’s, or some other reason, but was not clear cut enough to be deemed a true romantic scene. Nonetheless, ‘yes’ was on a respectable 35% whilst ‘no’ trailed at 17%. The idea that Eren had seen this moment before and was hoping for a different answer as part of some test of whether or not the future could be changed was a common response, as in the previous question.

He loves Mikasa, thus he wants to know if Mikasa eventually feels the same, so he could have a reason not to destroy the whole world

He doesn't understand Mikasa's attachment to him

Eren has romantic feelings to Mikasa and most likely knows about her feelings to him. He was looking for a reason to change his path and start a family instead of crushing the world. The same was with Grisha, who gave up on his plan and decided to live a peaceful life with his family.

Confirm that the memories are true and to see if His future and fate with Mikasa and their relationship was already decided.

He saw this moment and hoped that Mikasa would answer differently - to see that the future isn't set in stone.

He wanted to know someone was there for him. I feel like once Eren changed he saw the true colors of the people around him and emailed that no one truly understood how he was feeling or tried to get him to talk his feelings out. I honestly don’t think that Eren likes Mikasa like that and I don’t think Mikasa knows Eren as much as she thinks she does.

He wanted to see if the future he saw was preordained. Mikasa answering that and the squad arriving with "perfect timing" made him realize it was, indeed, inevitable.

He was trying to make up his mind if either Mikasa was bound to him because of her Ackerman blood or if she had authentic feelings for him.

he was worried or afraid that he stole Mikasa's freedom

  WHAT WAS THE BEST PART OF THE 104TH DRINKING TOGETHER? 1,745 Responses

In a series like this, a happy and peaceful moment like the 104th passing out together after a night spent drinking  was sincerely appreciated. ~980 out of 1,745 of you said that was your favorite part of the drinking scene. 15% liked the part where Yung Fez crashed into Eren best, while 13.6% of you preferred the part where Sasha encouraged underaged drinking, and 8.4% preferred Connie and Jean’s late night resupply trip.

  WHO WAS THE MOST WHOLESOME IN THE PASSED OUT SCENE? 1,753 Responses

Here we have a question with no wrong answer! Most of you seem to agree that the scene in its entirety was pretty wholesome and relaxed, something we have been missing for quite a while. That said, we did force you to pick your favourite parts, and Mikasa sleeping whilst resting against Eren won, with Eren surrounded by his friends a close second. A fitting result, for a chapter focused so much on them.

I love the wholesome flashbacks!!! like ugh yes my children deserve 2 be happy :(

Can I join the 104th getting drunk please?!

Drunk 104th squad, best squad.

I feel like the wholesomeness of the drunk shenanigans is a terrifying indication that something awful is about to happen. We needed the other flashbacks but that wasn’t necessary. It seems significant somehow.

I really enjoyed the 104th getting drunk together

  WHY DO YOU THINK EREN LEFT WHEN HE DID? 1,733 Responses

Eren quietly left after one last night of partying with his friends, but why then?  60.9% say he left immediately following the man at the podium speaking due to it signifying to him peace wasn’t a plausible option.  32.3% think he had been planning to leave at that specific time for a while no matter what; and 4.6% say his conversation with Mikasa lead to him choosing to leave the next day.

Either the man's words led him to believe peace was impossible or he's a slave to the predetermined future he's seen.

He became disheartened and made up his mind to carry his own plan

He knew less people would notice and nobody could follow him so by the time they decided to chase him he'd be safe

He got some insight from the man on the podium on how they view Paradis, I felt like he left to truly confirm that this was their belief and peace wasn't an option. Hence why during the marly arc it was said that Eren vanished and lived in Marley for a while before attacking during the festival. + he was following the flow of his vision.

He had further proof for why the future that he saw couldn’t be stopped anymore.

Hearing the terrible speech from someone who they hoped would support him confirmed Eren’s suspicions that the world really is their enemy.

His plan to leave had been forming for some time. He was willing to try and search for some of these non-violent solutions the others were aimed for, but watching that speech just confirmed to him that there were no peaceful solutions for the Eldians of Paradise. Even the people most sympathetic to Eldians in general, still wanted to lay waste to the Paradise Eldians. Eren does care about his friends, and to him, this is the only way to go forward that ensures they will be safe.

He had it all planned and was looking for a reason not to do it, but didn't find any :(

That activist's words were just the cherry on top confirmation that peace was near impossible.

The Eren of the future made him decide to go

  DO YOU THINK MIKASA’S ANSWER TO EREN HAD ANY EFFECT ON HIS ACTIONS? 1,749 Responses

Mikasa regrets what she said to Eren and blames herself for his actions, is she right?  63.5% agree it could have changed something, but never his end goal.  22.6% don’t think it had any bearing on Eren’s actions or goal, and 11.9% believe he would have changed his path completely upon a different response.

Absolutely unsure. It might have made a difference, maybe not. In the end, it's the question if one can change the future they have seen thanks to the Attack Titan, I guess. Or if it's inevitable as Eren said.

Communication with her and his friends as a whole could've possibly changed things

I think that’s exactly what Eren needed to hear. He refuses to lose anymore family. It reaffirmed him.

If mikasa had said anything different than what she said, it would confirm that the future he saw was not definite. That the world would not be ending. That there was a different way.  And he could have taken that path.

He might’ve not done what he did in 112 to Mikasa. A fight could’ve been avoided.

I think Eren would've most certainly stayed with his family (yes I call them family) and changed his plan to align with what Mikasa and Armin favor at the moment, simply crushing the allied forces with the rumbling rather than crushing all of Planet Earth.

He was only trying to convince himself Mikasa was not taking care of him only because her Ackerman blood

It might not have changed his plan completely, but I believe it would have mattered in some way. Perhaps he subconsciously wanted her to talk him out of it.

I think he already knew the answer she was going to give, and by asking only confirmed what he knew. If she would have confessed it would have thrown Eren off for a moment only for him to stick to his plan no matter the cost.

It just affected his mood, not his decisions.

We honestly couldn't possibly know, and I think that is the beauty and the point of the entire scene.

I have no clue but I must scream AAAAA

We'll never know. And I think that's the point.

  WHAT DO YOU THINK OF EREN’S TITAN FORMING? 1,760 Responses

Despite the unusual shape and size of Eren’s final titan form, only 5% expressed that they where not a fan of it. The remaining 95% of the fandom was impressed with “WOAH” (42%) being the word that best sums things up

Bruh he can't even move in that form

Bridge titan

His titan is a homage to Godzilla, which was a homage to nuclear weapons so things have really come full circle

I think it just looks cool

I think he'll be over 500 meters. He'll be gigantic. The devil that oversees the destruction of the world. Godzilla Titan. It'll make the size of the Wallossals look like regular pure titans compared to the colossus.

It's a monstrous form to emphasise his monstrous actions.

Maybe it's a literal manifestation of activating the founder's powers from Ymir, but it can be symbolic of him being "unstoppable" at this point.

Renewed rotisserie chicken titan with SPIKES

This is pure conjecture but I think the titan is immobile. The limbs are tiny and if the ribs aren't imbedded in the ground they'll certainly cause a lot of friction. Also, it it very cage-like, and like the houses of Shiganshina it looks like the Colossus Titans are avoiding it. So.., perhaps people will be able to hide out inside it?

What if the two “spine flaps” develop into wings?

  DO YOU THINK THE SIZE AND/OR SHAPE OF EREN’S TITAN WILL BE IMPORTANT? 1,740 Responses

The general consensus is that Eren’s 15117 meter titan is going to have some unique significance. ~20% don’t think it will, and the rest have varying thoughts. Let’s take a look at them:

I figure it had something to with the founding titan power since we saw something similar with Rod when turned into a titan but, other than that I'm not sure

I think it is just a sign that brute force it will not effective to defeat him. That there is another way to stop him.

I think it’s the original form of the centispine

Chekhov’s plane

"size and shape of Eren's TITAN"? I like you very much poll people 😂

It will resemble the size of Yimr’s Founding Titan

It'd be very funny if he just...couldn't move.

No one engages thicc mode for no reason

Somewhat. Seems like the size would make it not be able to move, but it seems like a central node of sorts.

  THE WALL TITANS ARE ABLE TO TURN AROUND, AND THEY’RE COMING FROM WALL MARIA TOO! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE START OF WHAT APPEARS TO BE A RUMBLING? 1,743 Responses

The fandom was unswayed by speculation about the titans position in the walls and all the things that could go wrong, so it was time for bragging rights.  “I knew Eren would have control of them” was the most popular answer (37.5%).

Curiosity about the rest of Paradis was secondary. “I hope we get to see the status of the other walls” (31.8%) and “They’re causing so much destruction to Paradis” (28.2%) were in the second and third spots. The write-ins were filled with questions about swimming titans. In retrospect, we should’ve had that as an option.

Can those Titans really travel across the ocean? They're big and all, but can they grasp the necessary movements to go through water? They were put in place to destroy THE ISLAND, after all. How slow would they be at that? Rumbling sounds dramatic but there's still plenty of time before shit starts to go down in other nations

Eren seems to be trying to minimize as much damage to Paradis as you can see how the colossal titans are walking organized in a single-file line.

I don't care I'm just worried about the Blouse family!

I hope wall Rose & Sina are ok. If not, then are favs families are in danger.

I knew Eren was going all out on this, meaning making all the walls collapse and this scene was just awe-inspiring and terrifying, holly hell

I hate this, is that an acceptable answer?

I wish we would’ve gotten to see more of it.

I'm worried about everyone, even the people from Paradis. I trust Eren's powers but I don't think it's the right choice. I have hopes that his plan turns out bigger than this.

This is a perfect excuse to see the northern district

  WHAT DID YOU THINK OF EREN SPEAKING TO ALL ELDIANS THROUGH PATHS? 1,741 Responses

The numbers are in, and JUST shy of 90% of you thought it was really cool to see Eren use PATHS FM to talk to every single Eldian. A few others don’t love the prominence of the P A T H S. Let’s look at a few other thoughts:

A mix of the two. Loved it, incredible dramatic effect, but what the actual fuck PATHS can't do anymore

Awesome. It's important to the plan that Eldians on the mainland heard his message too.

Chilling. Oh my god, the king is speaking.

Fucking awesome and Annie 100% heard him talking

Hahaha what the sweet fucc

@everyone

It feels weird the way he announced it... something’s up.

Tell everyone he knows his true intentions. Or makes someone make a choice based on what he's planned, which is the real outcome hes seen.

Very Interesting. Annie will likely hear and not be too thrilled.

  WHAT IS YOUR PRIMARY THOUGHT ABOUT EREN’S MONOLOGUE? 1,751 Responses

The snk fandom? Divided on Eren’s actions? Who could have predicted this!? 31.2% of respondents said that, above all else, they were primarily glad to see Eren’s thoughts and plans finally revealed. Trailing close behind, like Shia Lebeauf, 31% said that Eren’s monologue will go down as one of the greatest speeches in anime/manga history.

23.2% were disturbed that Eren’s plan was about killing billions of people. 11.1% of voters were just Connie Springer on 190 computers, saying, “It didn’t seem like Eren. It gives me hope that this isn’t his true plan.”

You’ll notice that there’s a seemingly missing part of the graph. Nothing is actually missing there, that’s just like, sixty different 1 vote responses. Three cheers for technological limitations!

Both awed and disturbed

Epic, not quite as epic as Erwin's speech from The Nameless Soldiers, but the artwork and transitions between real world and path world were amazing and really added a lot.

He's making himself into an enemy that the world will unite to defeat.

I am sad to see the decision he took. I do understand his motives and I also feel like there's no other way, the cycle of war and hatred would continue until one of the two people is exterminated. Let's not forget that Marley and other nations want to exterminate the eldians. In a sense, he's trying to protect his people, it's a sort of self defense. That's not to say it's the best way.

I don’t necessarily believe it since his flashback/pov is not even shown yet.

Well yeah, I'm in to what I think he's planning

well, it's clear that Eren will be the final antagonist.

Yuuki Kaiji's going to snatch all of us when this hits the anime

  EVERY EREN IS HOT. TRUE OR FALSE? 1,772 Responses

Dedication to Eren in all his forms is clearly evident as 52.9% classify Eren’s nightmarish final titan form as hot.

I hope Eren’s face doesn’t stay that messed up

Eren is a chad and needs more shirtless panels.

Eren's face looks like an Oni mask in the last panel

  DO YOU THINK MIKASA BEING PRESENT IN THE PATHS DIMENSION DECIDES THAT SHE HAS ELDIAN BLOOD, ONCE AND FOR ALL? 1,742 Responses

We thought this was an important question to ask, as many fans are confused as to the exact nature of Mikasa’s heritage and blood. Therefore, a lot of the responses we got were from fans who thought it was obvious she had Eldian blood; despite this, the majority of you still think she cannot turn into a titan, perhaps because the Ackerman genome prevents it. Nonetheless, a small number of fans also seem to think she has no Eldian blood at all, and is only in the paths dimension due to touching Armin.

Ackerman is said to be sub product of titan experiment. It is possible that Eldian Empire injected Titan Shifter's spinal fluid to non eldian, including Ackerman. They have maybe little DNA of Eldian that related to Titan transformation.

Ackermans are titan experients that use the paths ... so Im not surprised she is there ... I dont think that necessarily means she can turn into a titan

Don't Ackermans have access to PATHS as well, even though they don't have Eldian blood? Or do they have a separate PATHS dimension? I think Levi's on the brink of death situation will answer this

Hasn't it been clear for a long time that she has Eldian blood?

I always thought the Ackermans were of Eldian blood.

I didn't even knew there was doubt

No, she touched Armin

No, she's there because she's touching Armin

She always was eldian you dolts lol

  DO YOU THINK EREN TRULY INTENDS TO DESTROY THE WORLD, OR DO YOU THINK HE’S BLUFFING? 1,755 Responses

What’s the expression, “Nothing new under the sun?” Eren’s been talking about destroying the entire world since Season 1, and nearly 60% (58.2, technically) of you guys think he’s actually about to do it. Just over a third (33.9%) of you think he’s totally bluffing, and if I can do math at at least a third grade level, that leaves 7.9% of you guys unsure about whether or not he’s telling the truth.

  IF YOU BELIEVE HE’S BEING HONEST ABOUT HIS INTENTIONS, DO YOU THINK THAT HE WILL BE STOPPED? 1,705 Responses

Regardless of how we view the full rumbling, 60% of the fandom think he’ll be stopped one way or another. Armin and Mikasa stopping the genocide was the top answer (37.8%) followed by the Survey Corps (7.1%). Zeke saving his little brother (3%) narrowly edged out the Warriors (2.5%). As always, we had plenty of write ins.

Survey Corps x Warriors team up to stop the mad lad himself

All mentioned groups will finally work together to stop him

All of these options are possible, and I'm scared.

Armin and Reiner will probably be the ones to stop him.

Armin Arlert, Reiner (Helos) Braun, and Annie will team up to stop him. titan Reiner will ride on titan Armin's shoulders and blend into the colossal crowd, until they get close enough to stop Eren. Then Annie, awaken by the total rumbling, will use her scream to cause the collosals to consume each other. the end

Armin or Mikasa will have to kill him

At this point, i believe that Zeke, The Warriors and probably someone from the old gang will join to stop him.

Both sides like the paradise/survey corps and Marley/the warriors/rest of the world will work the together as one to take down one powerful enemy, it’s eren Yeager and his army of wall Titans that will destroy the outside lands

Eren said when Armin was dying that Armin would be the one to save the world. Maybe it's something he saw from the future.

Everyone else except Zeke and a few others (like Yelena and Floch) will be involved in stopping him as well as making sure Zeke doesn't get his will either

He won't stop out of his own free will, but something might go wrong and the rumbling will get interrupted before the whole world is gone.

I don't think he will be (or even could be) stopped, but I believe the SC and the warriors will still try to stop him

Yes, every nation in the world + Paradis will gang up in a Great Alliance

I hope he can be stopped somehow but I don’t know how. Poor Ymir might have to make another awful sacrifice. Ugh. Or historia.

I think he will be stopped. I think he WANTS to be stopped. But I'm not sure by who and how

Reiner will stop him, at the cost of both of their lives

I'd like to choose the first option but I don't think A-M will succeed only with 'talks'. I believe they'll be forced to do 'something more' than it.

No "Team Effort" answer?

Ymir will stop him

  IF EREN IS NOT BLUFFING, DO YOU BELIEVE THAT HIS ACTIONS ARE JUSTIFIED? 1,759 Responses

Eren’s seemingly finally revealed his plan, and it’s drastic.  But is it justified?  We got an incredibly close split, showing just how divisive Eren’s actions are, but also that there’s a lot of support on both sides.  By a hair, at 50.4%, the fandom is overall condemning of Eren, while the other half at 49.6% can see where he’s coming from.

This chapter made me to understand Eren better. I found that he hasn't changed and he is really in pain. Eren didn't turn into a cruel monster who hates his friends. He is full of pain because he believes that his fate is about killing a lot of innocent people. He was trying to avoid it as much as he could but for some reason the vision of the future was always right. I believe that Eren isn't free but is a big slave of his own beliefs. He is sure that he cannot change anything. Yet he forgot that his freedom is about his decisions and actions he takes.

There is no such thing as self-defense genocide, as much part of the fandom wants to force it to be neither is ever justifiable

There is more to Eren's plan. Perhaps it's a bluff? Or a warning/threat? It will go much deeper than What It appears now.

Opens a lot of interpretations, which I am not a fan of. Eren still has not proven himself to be a villain or a hero. Will have to wait

We need a way to put Eren down. He’s already disposed of Zeke’s plan, now he’s calling out for help. He’s taunting every Eldian via paths to try and stop him, to please stop him. Armin has been foreshadowed as the one to save humanity, and I think now he will live up to it to protect the ones he loves.

I don´t understand how you could justify Eren´s doings. To save his homeland, to protect his family is not enough to justify this genocide. I hardly sympathize with him, and killing each and everyone of his enemies is not the right solution.

The chapter was great but seriously ppl who are trying to justify eren's plan and motives just need to calm the fuck down

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  DO YOU THINK THAT EREN IS THE VILLAIN IN THIS STORY? 1,769 Responses

Token Eren supporter here. This graph speaks for itself, so instead of rattling off numbers at you guys for like, the fifteenth time this post, here are some fun, relevant facts:

You can’t spell slaughter without laughter!

There are an estimated 12 times more trees on the planet than there are stars in the galaxy. That’s a LOT of places to check for a centispine.

Eren Jaeger did nothing wrong

Those are some neat facts! That’s probably because I’m a genius and I’m way smarter than everyone, because I support Eren Jaeger. Now before you REEEEE in the comments, here are the thoughts of the unwashed masses:

At this point, I see Eren is a example of 'You either die a hero or live long enough to you see yourself as the villian' and somewhat of anti-Villain.

Eren is not *the* villain, but he is *a* villain. SNK has always emphasised multiple points of view. There will never be The Villain.

WHICH STATEMENT MOST CLOSELY MATCHES YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT EREN’S PLAN? 1,749 Responses

Thoughts on Eren’s plan are very interesting to look at, so let’s look at these numbers on the graph in another way.  While the majority, at 57.8% agree that Eren’s plan is the best route, they admit it’s cruel.  So while this number outshines the total 34.9% that don’t side with him, both groups of not siding with him outshine the 7.3% that gave Eren’s plan the best moral ranking you could out of the options.

Even I, eternally wary of Eren and all extremist characters in general, was surprised that his plan was unlimited destruction rather than offensive attacks until capitulation. The wholesale destruction of every living being without actually knowing whether they personally hate and fear Paradis is vicious and fearful beyond what I expected from him.

Eren is a great MC for his grey areas so I don't like people reducing him to just evil when it's clear that it's his desperation and love for the Eldians what led him to this. I hope when the anime comes the public will see the bigger scheme and not just hear the words of a "genocidal" because that isn't Isayama's intention at all.

Eren did nothing wrong! But seriously I question if there was really another way since the ones ruling the rest of the world are determined to end paradisians if not all eldians. Eren being able to see glimpses of the future is a curse which drained him and ultimately he wished for things to be different but the world would not allow that.

It upset me because genocide and I want to think there’s another twist coming but I wouldn’t say it’s ooc if the spade is indeed a spade.

Already knew his plan is mass genocide. Now my only hope is for his friends to stop and defeat him.

I think the outcome of his plan will be really bad. Even though I understand his intentions and don't even think he's a villain at all, someone will have to stop him and "set him free" just like he did with Ymir. I think that we're gonna lose Eren forever and that makes me really heartbroken.

#ErenDidNothingWrong2k19

  DO YOU THINK HISTORIA'S ALLEGIANCE IS WITH EREN? DO YOU THINK THEY'VE BEEN WORKING TOGETHER? 1,736 Responses

Historia is still a big question mark at this point, do you think she’s in line with Eren now that we know what he wants?  A little less than ⅔, at 63.5% say yes they’re working together, whereas about ⅓, at 36.5% still aren’t convinced she’s aligned herself with him.

This is Eren moving his Chess piece. I’m excited to see Historia make her move. Then to see how the Warriors and rest of the world are going to counterattack.

I'd love to see Historia's POV sooner or later

Eren already made up his mind since he talked with Yelena and Historia before his depart.

What does Hisu think about all the kids who weren't lucky enough to be born within the walls being crushed to death? Is she still determined to rush out there and tell them that they should have been born? Because there are gonna be a loooot of kids who wish they weren't born if Eren succeeds.

I hope we'll soon get to see Historia & Annie.

  WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,746 Responses

With the series winding to a close, we want it all and we want it now! While the Rumbling (27.2%), present day Levi and Hange (24.8%), and Historia (24.2%) are the top 3, requests for Annie have been up slightly with the last two chapters. The possibility of her being in the PATHS realm is strong. She was mentioned 21 times in the write-ins.

I just. Need Annie. For god's sake I can't go on reading snk without her I-

I want more rumbling and less flashbacks.

I hope to see Annie in the next one, that's all

The last question was unfair, there are so many thing I want to see next :D of course annie historia levi hange, as always. But I chose the eren-fez boy memory because it's the most relevant part now and I fear that if we don't see it now we'll never see it.

I want to see Annie and Hange/Levi AND rumbling AND more drunk 104th AND Historia and OMG pls show all in next 40 pages Yams thankx

Rumbling and Warriors! I want to see jean, reiner, and connie react to earth devil eren who is transforming in front of them. Mayne we'll see a reunion from jean/connie with their former brother figure Reiner. They'll work together.

i WANT TO SEE THE RUMBLING GOING FULL FORCE WITH NO HALF ASS STOP!!

I understand that flasbacks are very important, but I hope to see present-time action more

Less flashbacks, more rumble

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Levi anda hange come back in beg you

Why can't I pick all the options for the last question :(((

  WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,651 Responses

Reddit continues to dominate the discussion field, followed distantly by Tumblr. The mind absolutely boggles trying to understand why there could have been an exodus of Tumblr users that used to discuss the series there. I still remain thoroughly convinced that you four that voted snapchat either all know each other, or you’re all voting it for the meme. Nonetheless, unironically, jokes aside, in all seriousness, so there can be no doubt, genuinely, we appreciate poll takers from all platforms!

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 366 Responses

Awesome!!! Cruel, but Awesome!!!

God I had missed Levi so much

AoT has been one heck of a villain origin story

STEP ON ME, DADDY EREN

AoT has been delivering amazing chapters non-stop, and I fucking love it

Just hope floch lives tbh

My heart is shattered because of Eren. I truly love him and don't him to suffer anymore. I don't want to see Mikasa and Armin suffering for him again (I will never recover from chapter 112. I literally cried my eyes out when I read it).

I believe in Eren even if I don't like the fact that he's ready to kill (as it seems) the rest of the world. We still need some more fb and the one we got was amazing. It was really moving. I can't wait to see what happens next

For the past year, the manga just continues peaking and peaking. Eren is the greatest character in the story and these last 5 chapters have each been contender for the greatest chapter.

Incredible, Isayama has nailed how to tie flashbacks into what's happening presently in the story. This is by far the darkest chapter yet... can't wait to see what's next.

Best chapter of the entire story in my opinion and possibly the best chapter of all manga.

I hope this doesn't go the Code Geass route.

Best. Chapter. Ever. It puts everything together. I can't wait to see the next chapters, especially Eren's POV, though I kinda think we might only be getting it in the very last chapter.

The logistic problems of getting the wall titans to the other nations alone is enough to make me question whether they'll ever make it before Eren is stopped. Literally how are they going to get across the ocean? Stick rafts (I mean we've seen Eren's titan build a stick house before so that would be quite fun to me actually)? I sincerely doubt Eren is going to Paths-transmit a frontcrawl swimming lesson to them, and if they just trundle across the ocean floor they're going to run out of energy since neither sunlight nor moonlight can penetrate to that depth. AND they're gonna crush every fucking thing between them and ocean on their way!! Those things are far too massive to manoeuvre themselves around Paradis civilians. I just...don't see how this can work even if we DON'T look at the moral implications!

Founding Titan is overpowered as fuck. I can't stop thinking about that panel from chapter 2, when Reiner says Eren is the worst person to have the founding titan. I guess he was right

I felt that it was odd for eren to declare his motive especially when he knows Eldians from Marley can here it as well, I felt that he had ulterior motives.

Who needs cell phones when you have Paths?

Although I knew it was coming, I feel disappointed that the series went this way. Worldwide destruction is cartoonishly evil so I had been hoping that my fears wouldn't be realized. If we had to have this, I would have rather at least followed Eren through the events and gotten his direct PoV, rather than having his PoV become the new mystery drawn out over the course of a few years' worth of chapters, just to end up with this easily-guessed endgame, and only getting brief flashbacks to make us understand how it got to this point. I'm really underwhelmed by this arc.

Didnt think he'd legit kill every human. Doesnt even make sense. He doesnt really know what people think outside of what he's seen/what Kiyomi says. Talk about being ignorant.

Honestly, this may be dumb of me but I was expecting something a bit more nuanced? And, maybe it is we'll have to see. I'm not disappointed, but i guess I'm not all that surprised either. I'm more like, 'huh. i see'

I don't buy that he really wants to annihilate everyone outside Paradis (think of fez kid and family!) so I'm mostly curious why he needs to tell a lie only Subjects of Ymir will hear.

@the question "is eren the villain". I answered no but he's definetely *a* villain in this story.

Before reading this chapter, I was expecting to see mass destruction and I thought I was gonna be really sad while reading it, but I really like how there was a flashback. I know after the cliffhanger from last chapter, I didn't want a change of perspective, but I was actually happy to see the squad together in Marley because I do miss them all together ...I also really loved Levi in the flashback. It was hilarious when the clown thought he was a kid and I loved how he saved that kid who pick-pocketed Sasha. Seeing him the flash back made me realize how much I missed him and I really hope he is alive the next time we see him because he deserves to survive the end.

Christ, Eren is scary. I really hope he doesn't succeed, his plan won't bring peace

Drunk 104th squad, is the best squad

ELDIA 4 EVER

EM SCENES WERE SO GOOD AND BITTERSWEET!

Eren is about to pull a Lelouch so much.

Eren is more like Light then Lelouch

Eren is risking everybody on Paradis since he destroyed the three walls. It's not like he gave a delay for everybody to hide behind Wall Sina and unleash destruction with Wall Rose and Maria. The battlefield happens to be lucky because the city is deserted and Shiganshina is the southermonst part of the walled section. But in the meantime Eren is terrorizing the entire population on the island and might even kill those in the way. He's not doing this for Eldian supremacy either since mainland Eldians fall under the scope of his attack. Hell even their allies, Hizuru, are on his target list.

Everything about this chapter is SAD, eren leave his beatiful life with his friends, make a big responsibility on his shoulder ALONE, His friends denying about his behaviour change, forced to see a horror scenery in his mind (from future or past memories), and so yeah i hope eren will be "saved" by someone dont make him a mass murderer because his decided future. Someone like mikasa and armin, please..

the artwork in this chapter was quite fantastic. Some really good panels, and the last double page was just phenomenal. 11/10 for the artwork.

Given Eren specified that the walls' hardening had been undone, I think we will not only see Annie return given her hardened crystal may shatter, but I think next chapter we will see the return of all of the characters we haven't seen for a while as they look onto the horizon to see what has begun

There have been many warning signs throughout the manga that Eren’s ultimate goals have always been extreme, extreme to the point of complete annihilation, starting with the desire of completely annihilating the titans and then everyone who isn’t a subject of Ymir.

I definitely liked that we get a flashback, showing our favorite characters together one last time before everything goes down. But I REALLY think it’s about time we get to see Levi & Hange, especially Annie again in the next chapter.

I don't understand how so many people in the fandom are shocked that Eren wants to destroy the world, it was pretty obvious for a while. Also I'm really disturbed how many of his rabid stans still defends him... I mean, c'mon, you can love him and understand his reasons, but justify him and rooting for him is just fucked up.

I enjoyed it overall, but i did not expect or like the fact that the flashback took around 70% of the chapter. Specially when the flashback itself does not provide any kind of new information that we did not see in other chapters, other than the fact of showing us the Paradise main cast being on Marley for the first time, wich i loved.

Nothing can justify genocide, but I understand and feel sorry for him. This whole chapter is about him crying out for help, trying to change the future events he’s already seen, hoping desperately that SOMETHING will go differently and that he won’t have to do what he has to. But the world of Attack On Titan is a cruel place and the conflict between Eldia and the rest of the world won’t go away until one of them is destroyed. Zeke chose the world, Eren chose his country, his people and his friends.

I like to think that Eren at his core really does only wish to save the people he loves and promised to protect and fight for, and that he doesn't really want genocide and will even soften up soon, even if he needs help to be snapped out of it first. I also like to think his whole being, mind and ideology and all got convoluted when mingled together with the wills and memories of so many other previous titan holders, and that not everything is his own genuine will or wish.

I really hope Eren's solution will mirror the 'miracle' that happened between Uri and Kenny back in Ch. 69. Uri asked whether it was violence that averted their path of mutual destruction, and while Kenny makes a snarky remark about how Uri grabbed Kenny with his titanized hand, I think there's some truth in that. Perhaps Eren will clutch the world with the wall titans and stop the rumbling just short? Though I can't see Eren going to his knees like Uri did, so this may just be wishful thinking. Guess we'll see next month.

I really love how Eren turned out although some might think him as a heartless person. But that scene with him silently shedding a tear shows that he still has emotions and feels empathy & sympathy towards others. He is still very clear of his goal and plan and his courage to do what he thinks it's right even though everyone has doubts towards him really shows his courage to always move forward no matter what. I don't think destroying the whole world was his true plan after all, it just seemed way too far fetched for me. I can't wait for the next chapter to reveal more of his intentions and plan.

I really love the chapter because it was wholesome and tragic at same time which the author is good at balancing bittersweet stuff to his work which I love and respect him for doing it

I think it is time to the Ackermans to shine in this final battle. They cannot be controled by the FT unlike the rest of the eldians (including Historia and Zeke). I bet my money to Mikasa to become the "reincarnation of Helos" and defeat Eren (with a tons of angst betwixt). Kill your beloved one? sound like another twisted and evil idea from Isayama to make us suffer, his readers.

I thought I'll say that but here I am. I believed there is enough good in Eren Yeager to fight for all people. I was wrong and that hurts. I'm totally suing him.

I thought Ymir would do the rumbling though. Ymir, please show yourself more!

I’m so sad.. I love you Eren.. please use your pretty brain even though I know you’re trying so damn hard I love you and you deserve better

Isayama was attempting murder with that Eren and Mikasa conversation. I never thought he would make Eren ask something like "what am I to you?" to Mikasa in fucking canon and I almost died while reading.

i really miss when everything was about just killing titans, even tho i really like how the story is developing at this point. i could never imagined it wiil be like this.

look guys I know diplomacy isnt flashy and you want Eren to be the tormented anti-hero fighting for the little people. but I swear some of you are thirteen years old with the level of nuance you can apparently handle. Gabi is devil incarnate but Eren is justified in murdering billions of people he's never met or talked to because he's afraid they might not like him? You need to be better than this.

Looking forward to seeing the carnage Eren unleashes after years of abuse from Marley and the outside world.

Masterpiece!!! Love it!! It’s like you got a little bit of everything in this chapter! Mikasa POV, The Rumbling, a little bit of fan service, the Eren and mikasa talk .. 10/10

Eren using titans to kill his enemies? That the first king. This is the reason everyone hates Eldians, Eren what the fuck

Kiyomi is the most fishy character of Snk. I have noticed Kiyomi seldom makes eye contacts with the Survey Corps during the talk. She definitely hides info and lies to them.

Remember that you would most likely not be on Paradis. You would most likely be minding your own business, rocking your child to sleep or visiting your grandma, when that wall of titans came to crush the life out of you for the sin of being born in the wrong place at the wrong time. And if we thought that was unacceptable when it happened to Eren and co. then we must consider it unacceptable for every other innocent civilian caught in the crosshairs of war.

Seeing the "hero" descending to full villain and it being true would be crushingly sad, but cool and very daring at the same time. I'm not sure if it's definitely what Isayama is doing, but it'd be very ballsy and I'd adknowledge that. I love irony and it would be very ironic so, yeah.

Shows how miserable Eren's life truly is. He clearly doesn't want to do what he is doing but also understands that it NEEDS to be done. It can be only him and nobody else. How we went from an angry boi to a literal god.

SnK is the only series that can make me simultaneously want to see Eren fucking obliterate everything, but also want to see "those days" come back.

Starting of with the *many* elephants in this rom, I really liked how Issayma portrayed the colossal Titans marching. It looks so gloomy and dark. The flashback parts were so wholesome, especially for a a chapter about genocide. Having this shift in tone from the start was a great idea. I'm still not a fan of Eren destroying the entire world. I know it's the probably the only definite solution but I'm starting to like Zeke's Plan more now lol

Team Eren. Reset the world!

The beginning was so freaking cute. By the end, I felt disturbed and disappointed. I thought Yams was doing something that didn't make sense. But now I strongly feel that we still haven't had Eren's real plan revealed to us. Eren intends to sacrifice himself, letting his friends defeat him to convince the world to see Paradis in a different light and make peace possible.

The flashback in general might not have been necessary but it was very much appreciated for once. It took me back to the comedy panels Isayama used to scatter in other arcs. It may also serve the purpose of making us remember how much we love these characters before they kill them all in front of us because Yams is sadistic like that and there is no way he won't enjoy our tragic tears. Love him though.

Zook faceplanting the sand is a power move

What a chapter! Feels like last final breath before shit will hit the fan for real, can't wait for next chapter...

[full-course-identity]

gonna split this between canon character ships and oc-sprinkled ships. we'll start with canon (i also know most of these answer but eh): jeremy/rich, mr. heere/mr. reyes, michael/chloe, jake/rich, squip/michael, squip/brooke, brooke/madeline (STILL COUNTS, SHE'S TECHNICALLY A CANON CHARACTER), squip/rich's squip (in general fanon 'rich's squip isn't mo' situations--i'mma ask about OUR r!squip in the next ask)

HI SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG

Warning: Some of this goes into darkfic territory, and is lightly NSFW/NSFT.

Jeremy/Rich

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell (when this option is italized, it means OTP feelings, not Shipping Them As Problematique)

THIS IS MY FAVORITE ALWAYS-FLUFFY (or the comfort portion of hurt/comfort, or tragic lovers, etc) SHIP. It makes me SO VERY INCREDIBLY happy; Rich and Jeremy have this magnetic chemistry in the musical and in fandom--Hell, I even genuinely enjoy most fanon interpretations of the ship, which is really rare for me (still don’t read much fanfiction besides yours though... >u>; )

Also? Hot. Very hot.

... that was not meant to be a pun but I think it probably is...

Mr. Heere/Mr. Reyes

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell (bolding this one means it is/can be Problematique, obvs)

Platonic H/R? Nahhh. I think portraying both of them as queer is a good idea (Reyes gay and aro, Heere bisexual with a strong preference for women and femme enbys), but it just feels like Mr. Heere would want something else tbh. I mean, Mr. Reyes is pretty openly anti-children during the play, and Mr. Heere really loves his son and his son’s friend. I just can’t imagine they’d have much chemistry if they tried dating

Oh but what if... they were predators bonding over their mutual love of abusing the vulnerable people in their lives... haha jk... unless?

Michael/Chloe

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

This... is fascinating. I’m getting more into bisexual Michael for the sake of variety, and this would be... a very fun ship, actually. Especially if it was the two of them targetting Jeremy together... or, oh, actually, this would be a FANTASTIC companion to a Jeremy/Brooke story, w/ Michael and Chloe playing the villains... hm...

(I just really like playing around w/ evil Michael)

Jake/Rich

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

I’m so torn on this one. I really dislike most Jake/Rich in large, large part to just... the fandom around it... but I can also picture it being really fucking good in NSFW art, portrayed in particular ways (especially if it doesn’t act as a companion to boyfs), or like, if you did it? IT COULD GENUINELY WORK, but I haven’t seen it done in a way I particularly enjoyed.

Evil!Jake on good!Rich is fun, though I’m not suuuuuper into it--it’s a VERY nice change of pace with us, I like it in AUs, but I prefer Jake to just not be involved or else a small blip/one-off mention... or as the metaphorical sugar daddy to shenanigans gfnbhjvgfdfvdjnjvhfk

Squip/Michael

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

... I’m sorry friends, I’m just not interested. I see why it’s intriguing, I can see that it has what-if potential, but I just can’t care. Not even in an OT3 with Jeremy (though Jeremy being in a relationship with both of them separately would actually be pretty cool). 

tbh, if I have to ship the Squip with a human that isn’t Jeremy, I reaaaaaally like your growing interest in his and Rich’s relationship. 

Oh, and...

Squip/Brooke

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

Much as I think Squip is generally boy and nb masc-attracted attracted, Squip/Brooke would be genuinely, extremely, incredibly fucking adorable. I wouldn’t do much with it personally, but this is the sorta thing I’d love to see shippy art and/or an ask blog for if that makes sense?

Fuck dude, Jeremy watching his Squip come back in a body just to fuck his ex is the funniest shit ever tho, he’d be so disgruntled.

Brooke/Madeline

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

[insert heart eyes emoji]

Even though we’ve generally portrayed Mads as het-but-fools-around-a-little, this is probably my other Really Good Brooke Endgame Ship right next to Brooke/Jenna. I just feel that like... their chemistry, both how we portray it plus the canon stuff (“implied sluttiness” and the way Brooke thinks she’s so cool and tries to model herself off her) is. Mmm. Mmmmmm. 

Plus, not to be all My Autism Makes Me Hyperfocus On Other Character’s Autism, but like... their autistic peculiarities would line up fantastically? Imagine them cuddling and like... touching each other to stim...

squip/rich's squip

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell / additional category: I’m genuinely unsure because I’ve only seen hints of how other people portray Rich’s Squip

So the thing about Rich’s Squip in the fandom is that like... outside the occasional character design making a brief appearance in larger prints, nobody really talks about them?

I mean. Okay, granted, I haven’t read enough fanfic yet (... God I really want to eventually, I’d just like a Handy Guide for Who Is And Isn’t An Anti and also I keep going “okay but x character would never be like that” even though that’s wroooong and I don’t seem to have that issue in visual media and....... you get the picture), but after... 2017? After the fandom’s first explosion died down, people rarely talked about R!S. 

I think this was a direct reaction of the Anti movement finally making the solid change to fandom landscape it’d wanted to, unfortunately; this found a swift and sudden tidal wave of backlash to most Squip (primarily shipping) related anything, seemingly killing ALL Squip content that was not sufficiently “briefly used for boyfs or JakeRich angst” enough for a good long while.

Eventually, the growing rise of a sub-fandom around Squip thirsting and Squip redemptions (attempting to be ~untainted by gross shippers~, usually) started around the time badlydrawnBMC started to really pick up steam along with a few selfshippers, inspiring people to Squip-ship in an “acceptable manner”.

The problem is, none of this has affected Rich’s Squip--at least, not yet. The kinda people scared of (or that are) antis have “no good reason” to redeem Rich’s, since “she” (he/they at the beginning of BMC fanon, widely-used she now) did or caused stuff way more egregious, IE the fire, making Rich a bully, and stifling his bisexuality. As a result, there’s a very subtle, unspoken pressure not to really... use her much. 

Jokes are... mostly okay, but there’s a huge preference for Kermit!Rich!Squip if you do.

Anyway.

From the little bit we hear of her in actual canon, Rich’s own words and her brief voice and stuff... I could see her being much colder, possibly meaner then Jeremy’s Squip, probably. They probably have a dom!bottom/sub!top abusive slave relationship. She makes Rich fuck her while mocking everything he does, and then seduces him and promises a little bit of love when he tries to refuse. He would be hopelessly devoted to her, desperate for her approval, and she’d string him step by step. By the time he realizes how well and truly fucked he is, it’s too late; the last stand happens, they fight in front of everyone, and it all goes up in smoke.

Thanks for the question! Hopefully the next doesn’t take this long @_@

[kuchenackerman]

EREMIKA POLL RESULTS

The poll was opened on January 6th, 2019 and closed on January 13th, 2019. It got a total of 403 responses and the main focus was to explore the shipper’s thoughts and feelings, especially after Chapter 112.

It consisted of five sections:

General questions

On chapter 112 and current feels

On eremika content

Content creators

General demographics

I’ll present the results’ interpretation by section and in almost the same order the questions were asked to make all the information a bit easier to follow. This way if you aren’t interested in one of the sections you can just scroll down until you see the title of the next one. I recommend using the shortcut CTRL+F to look up for the section results you’re more eager to read or to just jump to general result key words faster.

I want to thank Selena and Heidi again for proofreading the poll back then and suggesting some questions. Big thanks to EVERYONE who participated and took their time to write their thoughts down ❤  

Most of the respondents answers will be shared, and I mean “most” since I had to group up similar worded replies. For example, short answers like “chapter 50”, “ch 50”, “in manga chapter 50” got summed up. However, even if I tried to summarize things, there were too many answers that I’ll be sharing with you all anyway.

I apologize in advance for any grammar mistake or error in the presentation of the info. This turned out longer and required more time than I thought it would. Besides I’m tired and I don’t have as much free time as before.

I hope you enjoy digging in the results of the EM focused poll~

1. GENERAL QUESTIONS

1.1) Regarding when did the respondents started to ship Eren and Mikasa, over 65% of them does since 2013-2014 (35.2%) or 2017-2018 (30%), concurring with the years when we got Season 1 and Season 2 of the anime, respectively. Then, 24% of the respondents said to ship it since 2015-2016. About 11% of the respondents started liking the pairing before we even got the anime adaptation: 5.5% since 2011-2012 and 5.2% since 2009-2010.

1.2) Eremika is the main SnK ship of 66.5% of the total respondents. 12% (33 responses) of that 66.5% have other OTPs besides Eren and Mikasa. More than half of these shippers (19 of 33) support another hetero pairing as well.

1.3) When it comes to the people that don’t consider EM as their main ship, over 50% of them have another hetero ship as their main. Around 30% have a M/M ship as main, almost 10% a F/F ship and 6% an OT3 / trio.

1.4) Almost 70% of the respondents started shipping Eren and Mikasa while watching the anime. Besides the manga (27.3%), some of the shippers started liking the pairing because of fanart (including a “rather steamy NSFW” one, lol), fanfiction or because of some people in the fandom, like someone they follow that influenced their shipping feels or because of an enthusiastic friend.

1.5) 65% of the total respondents has NEVER stopped shipping eremika (y’all good), while 35% has stopped doing so at some point only to jump back on the ship again (I declare myself guilty of this, I’m a damn traitor), though a small part of that 35% never really jumped back on it and just drowned in the waters of their full betrayal.

1.6) On which character of the ship is their favorite, more than half of the respondents prefer Mikasa over Eren, who got 18.4% of the votes. 28.5% like both characters equally.

1.7) On canon looks of the characters:

The thirst for manbun Eren won this time and got a bit more than 37% of the votes. Our traditional short-haired Eren follows with 22%. There’s a tie between hobo Eren and middle-short haired (?) Eren at 12.4%. Almost 16% of the respondents don’t have a preferred look for our boy.

In Mikasa’s case, the responses were more even between all her looks. There’s a tie in first place with 22.6% of the votes between ponytail Mikasa and traditional bob Mikasa. Short-haired Mikasa and long-haired Mikasa got 21.3% and 20% respectively. 13% of the respondents couldn’t choose a specific look for her as their preferred one.

1.8) Now, time to share the shippers’ answers and the results about the specific moment of the manga or anime that sold eremika to them. There was a total of 289 written responses to the question. I tried to organize them in quantity of mentions of certain scenes or chapter/episodes. Some replies mentioned more than one moment.

The first place was taken by S2 Episode 12 / Chapter 50 from the Clash of Titans arc, since about a hundred people mentioned it as the moment where they started shipping Eren and Mikasa.

Trost Arc got second, third and fourth place: S1 Episode 6 / Chapter 6 got almost eighty mentions, while S1 Episode 8 got around fifty mentions and S1 Episode 7, with a bit more than twenty mentions.

Eight times people mentioned they started shipping EM since they were introduced in S1 Episode 1/ Chapter 1. Some don’t identify a specific moment but talk about their appreciation toward their general relationship, dynamic or scenes together.

S1 Episode 14 / Manga Chapter 19 trial scene got mentioned about seven times.

The final episode of season one got mentioned five times.

S1 Episode 12 / Manga Chapter 13 and Chapter 51 got both mentioned at least four times.

[ Answers to 1.8 ]

~ S1 Episode 1 / Manga Chapter 1

Literally the first scene Eren dreaming abt Mikasa with that scarf and asking why her hair got longer and when he gave the scarf to her

Her tossing his ass into the side of a building, spilling the firewood everywhere

When Mikasa threw Eren against the wall in episode 1 season 1

In the first op when they're surrounded by dead comrades and mikasa looks at eren. The shipping feels started. The scarf scene (entire backstory of Mikasa and Eren's meet strengthened my feels)

Mikasa taking care of him since day 1

~ Unspecified

No specific moment. I just knew they were meant to be together from everything they did!

I don't remember exactly. It just felt naturally that they have to be together.

The very first time their dynamic was truly shown. It's so rare and interesting to see a het pairing where the girl is the cool, stoic protector and the guy is the reckless but good-hearted damsel in distress!

It grew on me over time - they just seem to both really care for and look out for each other.

All eremika scenes 💕💕💕

Idk....it just kinda happened.

"Ereh"

No specific scene, it was just that her desperation wore me down over time

just their bond and dependence on each other through hard times and how resilient their unspoken trust and faith in one another is

Tbh I was originally an Ereannie shipper and don’t really pay too much attention to other characters at least in that aspect of going to ship them but after rewatching the anime series for who knows how many times I came to realize that Eren and Mikasa were just a ship that I can’t deny in which I think it’s only natural for them to be together.

I had watched all of season 1 without focusing on shipping. It wasn’t until I reflected later on and rewatched that I started shipping Eremika very much <3

~ S1 Episode 6 / Manga Chapter 6

When for the first time they slain evil, love at first kill.

The World the Girl Saw! I had this inkling feeling that I was going to ship them ever since the beginning, but this really did it for me.

Eren saving Mikasa from kidnappers / Mikasa losing her parents / Eren wrapping his scarf on Mikasa

I think it was the scene in the anime (as I watched the anime before reading the manga) when Eren wrapped his scarf around Mikasa and her face softens because of his kindness to her.

Episode 6 of the anime, when we got the backstory of Mikasa, but also, while reading the manga chapter 50 killed me.

Episode 6 of the anime; the scarf scene melted my heart

When Eren saved Mikasa from the thugs and told her to fight. Also the scarf scene really got me.

Episode 6 of the anime when Eren wrapped his scarf around Mikasa sealed the deal for me. ❤

The chapter/episode show Mikasa's past and especially when Eren pull Mikasa's hand while blushing, I knew that my whole life is for these two.

Their first meeting. It left an impression on me.

Mikasa's memory of Eren wrapping the scarf around her and grabbing her hand. Mikasa looked so grateful and happy in that moment.

Mikasa's tragic backstory and being saved by Eren who then gave her the scarf. And the moment she finds out he's still alive inside the attack titan and cries while hugging him.

Eren saving her when he didn't have to. (Kidnappers)

Episode 6 - when Eren wrapped the scarf around Mikasa when they were kids. It made me realize how strong Mikasa's feelings were for Eren, and how their bond was sealed the moment he gave her the scarf.

Mikasa's backstory episode earlier in Season 1. It only took that scene to validate me the fact that these two are meant to be always together. Call it string of fate or whatever. She is attached to the boy that saved her life. Chapter 50 of the manga also further validated my point.

The moment Eren gave Mikasa his scarf. It's a heartwarming moment as it gives Mikasa new hope to live and a home together with Eren.

I fell in love with Eremika the first moment I saw them when Mikasa was staring at sleeping Eren in the first episode, but I started shipping them when Eren wrapped the scarf around Mikasa and gave her a home. And one of my favorite scenes if not my favorite is when Mikasa started crying when she heard Eren’s heartbeat in S1E8 after he came out of his Titan form the first time. God that’s a lot to say :D

Since retrospection of their adventure in stabbin cabin

The moment I found out they are not blood related

Scarf scene (bet everyone's gonna put that though) but also their constant care and concern for each other throughout the series

I started watching the anime before fully reading the manga. I always thought Eren and Mikasa would be cute together from episode one. I didn’t really have a reason I felt that way, it was more of an instinct. However I didn’t fully ship them until Mikasa’s backstory in episode 6. I enjoy how their relationship is “tough love” instead of a in-your-face sap show. They just belong together. Their relationship matches the world they are in, and I always had a thing for ships that take a long time to come together. The end result is more satisfying.

Seeing their backstory of how they met because before reading/watching I saw people saying they were siblings. But that's not actually true so it expelled my worries about the ship.

When Eren wrapped his scarf to Mikasa and said "let's go home…"  

When eren saved mikasa as kids and also the end scene of season 1 when eren picks up the scarf and says "that thing has seen it's best days, ill just get you a new one" and mikasa is like but it's special :c

“As long as you’re alive I can do anything” scene after her back story

~ S1 Episode 7 / Manga Chapter

Ep 7 of season 1 where Mikasa is about to get grabbed by a titan and in her last moments she thinks of Eren, and she's just like "If I die, I won't be able to remember your face". And decides if she goes down, she's gonna go down fighting, the way she knows Eren would want her too. ;_;

Scarf scene. Also when Mikasa remembers smiling down at a sleeping Eren and regains the will to fight, then Eren's titan shows up and protects her

First Attack Titan appearance and Eren saving Mikasa

when titan!eren came to smash the titan as mikasa was about to stand for herself after her pomegranate speech

When Mikasa thought Eren had died, and her reaction to that, that's when I REALLY started to ship them.

This is too difficult to answer lol. But if I choose one scene that charmed my heart with them it's would be that scene in ep.7 (s1) when Mikasa gave up to live. She remembered the words that Eren said to her in the past to keep fighting! TATAKAE! and the emotion that trigger in her the streght to protect the last memories that she had of him... MAN, I always get goosebumps at remember her speech! "If I die, your memories will die with me, that why I will fight! No matter what! I will live!"

Mikasa's being suicidal and hopeless after Eren's supposed death at the Battle of Trost District made me realize how much Eren means to Mikasa, and so I was sold on this ship.

ep 7, "I'll never give up again. If I died, I won't be able to remember you"

The episode where Eren dies and it flashes to Mikasa thinking about him, I knew I shipped them. I was a bit concerned because the anime wasn't clear on their relationship if they were brother or sister at that point, but the next episode was Mikasa's backstory and I knew it was safe to ship them!!

pomegranate scene was just too good :')

CH7, related to CH6, but seeing her find her resolve so quickly after losing him was sobering. I interpret this moment as a big precursor to CH50, but that's another moment

When Mikasa decides to live, because if she died she would not be able to remember Eren. And also when she sees that Eren is alive and runs to and embrace he.

~ S1 Episode 8 / Manga Chapter

In the anime when Eren emerged from the titan form and Mikasa ran to see it's Eren.

When mikasa cried holding eren after his first transformation as a titan

When Mikasa found out Eren was alive in trost

It wasn’t anyone thing. It was a lot of moments, but mostly the scene where Eren is revealed to be a titan shifter and Mikasa holds on to him and cries. That or the reveal of their backstory. Mikasa's clinginess suddenly made a lot of sense.

Mikasa being openly emotional for the first time while embracing Eren in ep 8

Definitely the scene where Eren comes out of the nape of his titan and Mikasa sees him.

The moment when Mikasa clutches Eren and tries to hear his heartbeat after they see him emerging from his Titan the first time. And when Eren defends Mikasa from the cannon and then at his trial, that's when it changed from one-sided to full-on Eremika for me.

Episode 8 of Season 1 when Mikasa found out Eren was still alive and started crying

Episode 8 Mikasa crying whilst hugging Eren after he comes out of his titan form. Chapter 50. Chapter 51 Eren worrying about Mikasa and apologising.

When Eren appeared for the first time out of his Titan form and Mikasa run to him, when she started crying while listening his heart beat I was sold.

EPISODE EIGHT "I CAN HEAR HIS HEARTBEAT" MOMENT

"I can hear his heartbeat"...I cried when Mikasa ran to hug him and heard his heart beat, and then cried and cried. Like...she's so strong and brave all the time - that really hit me. You could feel the amount of love she has for him. Either that one or the scarf scene where Eren wrapped his scarf around her and welcomed her into his family!

Hugging eren when he first emerged from the attack titan

when she found out he was alive again and started crying

when eren appeared out of the titan and mikasa hugged him

I first bit when Eren wrapped the scarf but they reeled me in when Mikasa finds out he wasn't really dead and first comes out of his titan

Cap 8 anime, Eren sale del titan y Mikasa corre hacia él y lo abraza y llora

The manga equivalent of episode 8. Forgive me I can’t remember chapter numbers for the life of me.

When Mikasa ran to Eren after he first emerged from his Titan corpse and cried as she embraced him.

I think I've always loved the idea of them being together romantically since Eren saved Mikasa as a kid. However, the scene of Eren first coming out of his titan and Mikasa holding him while crying will forever be a highlight from the show/manga that I won't forget.

when Eren comes back to life in season 1 & Mikasa sobs while clutching him hard against her chest, uncaring about everyone watching/hearing around.

When mikasa started crying after she found out that eren was alive, when she said “If i die, i won’t be able to remember you” and the scene from season 2 episode 12, “I’ll wrap that around you as many times as you want. Now and forever... as much as you want!” that line makes me cry every time.

The scene when Mikasa hugged Eren and cried in relief that he’s alive.

When mikasa hugged eren tightly after he came out of his titan form on episode 8

MIkasa crying into erens chest after she pulls eren out of his tian for the fist time in Trost, season 1, plus the last episode of second season had me bawling on the floor tbh it  was such a great scene

When Mikasa realizes the person emerging from the Attack Titan is Eren, and she immediately goes to him, holds him, and cries.

~ S1 Episode 12 / Manga Chapter 13

When Ian pointed out Mikasa’s feelings about Eren during the Trost battle

When Ian called Eren Mikasa’s boyfriend - and she blushed.

Cliché haha but: when she blushed when Riko said that Eren is her boyfriend I was like ohhhHHHHH girl

~ S1 Episode 14 / Manga Chapter 19

When Eren defended Mikasa during his judgement

The court trail scene where Eren stood up for Mikasa

The scene in the anime in the courtroom where Eren defends Mikasa after the bystanders accuse her of being like him

It was when Eren was at the court house he said it was all his fault and not to blame Mikasa

Either it'd be the scene in chapter 51 or the moment Eren stood up for Mikasa during the court trial back in season 1

~ S2 Episode 12 / Manga Chapter 50

Chapter 50 10000%

the "I'll wrap this scarf around you as many time you need" scene

The anime scene at the end of season 2 where Eden unlocks the power of the coordinate to save mikasa

when she encouraged him right before meeting Dina.

Chapter 50 “I’ll wrap that around you now and forever, as much as you want”

When she confesses while they are surrounded by titans about to die, and then Eren declares “I’ll wrap it around you as many times as i need to-“

Season 2 when Mikasa says thank you.

Cuando Mikasa le da la gracias la Eren por enseñarle a vivir, y colocarle la bunfanda, y él señala que siempre lo hará.

Season 2 almost kiss scene - you know it bro, and her falling asleep by his bed

the scene... "I’ll wrap it around you again, again and again, forever" bruh...

When mikasa talked about how eren saved her and gave her the red scarf.

Had been there for a while but chapter 50 solidified it for me. Mikasa's heartfelt words giving a broken Eren the strength to fight.

Eren saying “ill wrap that scarf around you as many times as you want”

In the chapter 50 of the manga (scene from the SnK S2's finale) when Mikasa confessed her feelings to Eren

Season 2 episode 12, when mikasa confessed to eren, and him promising to her.

Chapter 50 had the best EreMika scene so far because Mikasa really went heart-to-heart about her feelings to Eren (in the anime, we see her leaning in)

When Eren activated the Coordinate for the first time when saving Mikasa.

There was a lot of stuff in the earlier chapters but chapter 50 took the cake

Although their relationship has always been meaningful to me, I first began shipping them romantically after I read the scene where they’re sitting in front of the smiling titan, and Eren promises to wrap her up in her scarf over and over again, before unlocking the power of the coordinate when he contacts the smiling titan.

The scene when Mikasa almost kissed Eren

La escena en la que Mikasa casi besa a Eren y el se levanta y dice: "Te la pondre las veces que quieras" siempre veo esa escena cuando hay tambaleo en el ship

There is too much but I would say chapter 50 (like a lot)

I think that the first one, was the one in chapter 50. I discovered Snk too late, and I fell in love for them since this chapter :)

Chapter 50, Mikasa worrying over the post-experiment Eren in Chapter 54.

Eren and Mikasa second confrontation with the Smiling Titan/Dina's Titan

I think it was THE eremika scene in the manga, aka the infamous chapter 50 scene, but idk anymore

The Eremika shipper's Bible, of course! Ch. 50. Specially when Eren basically says he's always gonna be there for her. Also, when Eren apologizes to her right after the whole thing and she's recovering from her injuries. And that panel when he's thinking about everything's he's lost during their journey to end this for good, but he looks back at her and says "No, not everything" or something along those lines. And when Mikasa is sitting next to him when he's unconcious and Armin leaves and he has this fucking little smile and he just  k n o w s and Mikasa knows he does. Oh, and when Eren, Mikasa, Hanji and Levi finally get in the basement and they're both looking at the things down there together and when they open the book together, their hands barely touching. Oooh, and when Eren tells everyone they're special to him and Mikasa's blushing and looks up to him and kind of smiles and he looks away?? Gold. Oh and of course, Ch.112's cover! The soft and tender look in their eyes while looking at each other is just so painful !! And soft !!

~ Post time-skip. Chapter 101 onwards

I started to ship them when they both blushed at each other in ch. 108

Flashback of Mikasa Chapter 108

Manga 108 when Eren and Mikasa have their own panel and both of them were blushing at each other

I started shipping them a longggggg time ago, but i think it was chapter 108 in the manga, (i think) when Eren says that he cares about them all, but hajime gave Eren and Mikasa those two seperate panels of them blushi,g at eachother. That one really chained my heart to this ship, and i will stay with it whether it sails or sinks.

I started shipping them after post-time skip. There wasn't a specific scene, but rather, both matured and their relationship would be more balanced.

Eren talking to Mikasa in ch 112- it was so obviously a contradiction to their relationship that it actually proved (imo) mutual feelings

The moment in Marley Arc when Eren is looking at her before the WH comes to

I became interested in their romantic dynamic after Mikasa's, "Come home," line in the Marley arc. I'd always loved content with both of them, but I hadn't found their relationship very interesting, so I just hadn't thought about it much. The recent developments have changed that.

Nothing in particular. Maybe when Eren attack Marley and Mikasa looked at him tearful. It’s not romantic but I appreciate the heaping amounts of angst of the ship.

Liberio reunion

~ Other responses

Eren looking up at Mikasa and then transforming into Rogue Titan when fighting Female Titan.

When mikasa tries to save eren from annie

When Mikasa put a blanked over Eren in RTS

Anime episode 13

When mikasa picks up eren

When Mikasa announced that she'd join the scouts with Eren.

they breathed and i was like ‘otp’ joking— the moment eren was out here pushing her away using his forehead and mikasa said ‘please don’t die’ because that scene spoke to me and then the history of them (childhood, eren saving her you know the drill) kicked me and my feelings.

[After a dream]: “It was a straight up fanfic in my sleep. I woke and was like "I guess I ship them now?" I used to not be so into Eremika but since then I've been a bit more accepting of it.”

Either when Eren first turned into a titan and wounded her/left the scar on her cheek or the courtroom scene, most likely the first one

The last episode of season 1, Eren and Mikasa in the room, she holded his hands, I found this scene intense, and started to ship them even more.

The hand hold when Eren was lying on the bed

2. ON CHAPTER 112 AND CURRENT FEELS

2.1) The 403 respondents’ got multiple choices to check that could fit their first thoughts and feels about the alternative cover for Volume 27. 

38.7% of them simply appreciated Mikasa, Armin and Eren being cute in it. 36% called Isayama a bitch, 34% reacted with Queen’s “IS THIS REAL LIFE? IS THIS JUST FANTASY???” because yeah, no one was expecting such a blessed cover, and 33.3% reacted with Backstreet Boys’ “Quit playing games with my heart~” because Isayama loves hurting us all and has probably been plotting to do so since the 90′s. 31.5% of the respondents saw the cover as a shippy exchange between EM, as they considered they’re staring at each other in a flirty way, and 31% checked the keysmash and cry choice... (I understand)

13.2% considered Eren was looking at both Armin and Mikasa, without anything explicitly eremika going on and a bit more than 7% are so dead inside they felt nothing with such a wonderful cover (RIP their miserable souls).

~ Added answers:

Lies

Let them have babies please ;^;

Ehh

I think this cover gave me the strongest dose of Eremika feels ever. I can't look at it without grinning from ear to ear~

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

It's beautiful. Nothing to freak out about tho.

How dare I get taunted with this blessed image when I know shit's about to go down between the three! 😭

It's so peaceful and beautiful. I wish it happened in the manga.

I have a theory actually for this...

Armin is cute

THIS IS FUCKING CANON.

It is actually the first time I see this cover and it's very cute and nice but after the chapter I can't feel nothing about it. Only hate for Eren and his words.

I can see how it can be interpreted in both ways and if we lean towards eremika then: cute!!!!!!!! so sweet!! but it makes me cry!!

Both Eren and Mikasa sees each other as their most important person in the world

*DIES*

they just look happy and looks like eremika actually canon but isayama try to cover it.

NANI

Mikasa clearly looks super in love with Eren. Eren may be looking at either mikasa or both mikasa & armin. I’m not sure...

My soul left my body.

Id say they're all three looking at one anoth another tbh

I love the Eye to Eye contact of eremika

Must protect

crap i think eremika is dying, BUT I DON'T WANT IT TO DIE, so i hope that this scene was just a build-up for their relationship (otherwise i'm knocking on Isayama's doorstep at 3am)

The hurtful words will save Mikasa's spirit, so Eremika shippers should support Eren's efforts in freeing her.

Is this foreshadowing that Eremika will become canon?

ISAYAMA REALLY GONNA PLAY WITH MY HEART LIKE THAT HUH?

How cute and pure the way Eren look at his Mikasa XD

EREMIKA IS STRONG ON THIS ONE

Poor Armin gets ignored by the two lovey-doveys 😠

You trynna fuck

Armin: okaaay, I will be going...

Indifference

I knew by just seeing that cover that it was gonna hurt lol

I just liked that they were all together just like the old days

OMG are they finally canon? Please isayama sensei make them canon *.*

I thought it was nice but I knew it was ironic.

There’s a dagger hidden under the cover.

2.2) When it comes to analyze the cover in relation to future manga developments, most respondents (47%) see it as a glimpse on Eren's authentic feelings toward his friends, around 39% see it as a symbolic image, 36% see it as a trap meant to make us hurt more after what happened in chapter 112 (we know you, Isayama), 25.6% consider it foreshadowing, 20% a somewhat alternate reality / timeline, almost 19% see it as an utter lie or that Isayama is just trolling, 13.6% only see it as a blessed cute cover and 5.7% think it’s irrelevant story-wise.

~ Added answers:

Im torred between a foreshadow or just a cover…

What it could have been

This isn't teasing or trolling; its Isayama's way of telling us to have hope/showing Eren's feelings.

An ironic and nostalgic cover

A mix of possible 'alternate‘, maybe end-game, but for me mostly a CLUE to something...

Mikasa's hopes for the future

Honestly I don't know what to think after all that happened. But I hope it's foreshadowing toward his true feelings about Mikasa and Armin. Especially Mikasa. Maybe Isayama gave us a hint that Eren loves his friends and so we shouldn't buy all his words.

It's all Eren wants but it's something he'll never have again

how things could be if differences didn't stand in their way

Eren and Mikasa fucking

That was Eren's real feelings, but I believe he is partly hurt by believing that everything Mikasa has ever done for him is because of Ackerman's blood. Eren is also blinded by the idea that he is free and that he can make his own choices without being manipulated by his blood or the personality of someone in his head.

2.3) What was your initial reaction to Chapter 112 regarding all the things Eren said to Mikasa?

In this other multiple choice question, 55.6% of the respondents said they wanted to hug Mikasa so badly after what Eren said to her, 44.7% checked the “Eren: why the fuck you lying, why you always lying?” option, 40% wanted to punch Eren so hard and felt so proud when Armin did it, 37.7% were shocked, almost 29% called it bullshit / laughed / pfft-ed at Eren’s “I’ve always hated you”, around 25% just reacted with an “Eren, pls”, 22% were just as heartbroken as Mikasa and cried their eyeballs out, almost 13% have been crying ever since so not very “initial reaction” only, 11.4% checked the “Chapter 112? I don’t know her” option and 9.4% checked the “Uhh.. I didn't feel much because everything was too odd...” option.

~ Added answers:

I WAS SOMEHOW SATISFIED WITH IT BC I SUCKS FOR ANGST EREMIKA

I was kinda thrown off guard for a sec there when I first saw the conversation between them but then I think abt how this could actually leads to a better development in both Eren’s and Miaksa’s characters (romantically) I mean their feelings for each other have been a constant which I think this would hopefully trigger something between them.  

Eren is lying

Shocked at first, but I think it's an interesting development.

I laughed

I actually felt encouraged! No way it was true, Eren was obviously lying/being controlled.

Immediately knew that Eren was only doing this to protect Mikasa

Carla, your son's gone rogue again...

Was angry and felt Mikasa should‘ve retorted back aggressively. But honestly, I‘m more intrigued by his words.

I want to go there and kidnap Mikasa immediately, then Eren gonna suffer til the rest of his life

Cried multiple times bc of it.

I tought that his words couldn't be true

the first real step between Mikasa's and Eren's romantic relationship

Eren is cancelled

Enjoyed the drama and didnt get sad over it. Since it happened so suddenly it took me by surprise and the conversation was nothing like what I expected it to be. Barely a glimpse of emotion from Eren and Armin being the one to start a fight? I was dumbfounded.

It feels like a huge giant misunderstanding and Eren sucks with words. I can't believe Isayama builded the deep of their relationship just to end into this bs. If everything is going to end badly for Eren and Mikasa then Isayama doesn't know how to write.

I feel all of that

Had a bad feeling something like this would happen so I wasn't horribly shocked

I actually love it, mainly for the angst. Love the drama, love the feels n im such a sucker for angst lol

Eren seems to at least partly mean what he said, but maybe not as strongly as he said it. I also think he’s being influenced by memories/zeke/wht so I’m not too concerned.

Sad

I already know that's not the same Eren so I was just shocked by his wording more or less but that's it.

It needed to be said

I enjoyed it

I was expecting Eren to have a moment like this, tbh. Not because I believe he really hates either of them, but because he is clearly spiraling and isolating himself.

fight between mikasa and eren similar to sasuke and Naruto

eren can do no wrong in my eyes so idk

Conflicted. What he said was hurtful but I also felt like it wasn’t completely untrue. Mikasa has been having major doubts recently and this thing in Eren she won’t face. The Ackerman instincts don’t have comelktely grip over her but they do contribute majorly to a lot of things. It’s awful but at the same time I feel like if it was all nonsense then why did it trigger those memories and why did Mikasa just keep shrinking into herself. Mikasa doesn’t shrink away from things.

OMG, Eremika has become so exciting, dramatic and awesome!

I think I kind of expected the outburst

There is no way he hates her really

I was glad Armin punched him and I hated Eren more than I ever have before.

2.4) "You only cling to me because of your instincts as an Ackerman." If he truly believes the information he got and said about the Ackermans, could Eren be hurt because he thinks his relationship with Mikasa was never authentic?

Around 69% ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of the people think Eren is indeed hurt or that there’s a possibility of him being hurt because of what he nowadays thinks (?) is the true nature of his relationship with Mikasa. The rest of the respondents have really no idea what to think about it or just plainly discard Eren hurting because of Mikasa and her cursed Ackerinstincts. 

2.5) From 1 being "influenced by the Ackerbond" to 5 being "of her own", how do you see Mikasa's feelings for Eren?

Most of the respondents (over 77%) think her feelings are mostly determined by her own person and not the Ackerbond. Only 6.7% consider Mikasa’s feelings are fully or very influenced by the Ackerbond and 16.1% think there’s a 50/50 situation.

2.6) Around 160 people decided to share their thoughts in relation to what happened in chapter 112, focusing on Eren and Mikasa of course:

Even if he won’t admit it, I think Eren still cares/loves Mikasa. His eyes seem tired and dead, but I noticed that they glimmered differently right before he told Mikasa he always hated her, and then they changed again when Armin asked if hurting Mikasa is the “freedom” he sought/had. If there is one thing that hasn’t changed about Eren, it’s his inability to hide what he truly feels. It’s obvious that he’s upset and perhaps feels betrayed, but i definitely think he still cares.

Yeah I believe the Ackerman stuff influences it *a little bit*. But her emotions are mainly real and she truly does care for Eren.

Eren deserves a good Ackerpunch to be honest.

Mikasa needs to realise that all her feelings are her own, and Eren needs to know, too.

His facial expression through the whole confrontation was CONFUSING like you can't tell if he is ANGRY or if  he is  HURT or if he really just have genuine hatred  toward his old friends? Like I am confused about his facially expression when Armin  told him "does freedom means hurting mikasa feelings" his expression was completely different than the rest of the panels. His expression had more emotion for some reason.

I hope that people didn’t forget abt the scene where Mikasa punched Eren in the face when he was being mean and venting off his anger towards Armin when the were at the refugee camp after the fall of Shiganshina.

Look at his face: this poor boy is as broken as us. There's a reason behind his actions.

I'm sure eren want mikasa to get away from him in order to keep her safe, this was the only way to broke the acker spell

I think Eren was rejecting Mikasa to free her from the ackerbond. I wrote an analysis about eremika due to ch.112 incidents here : https://nhamstory.tumblr.com/post/181741856688/eren-and-mikasa-relationship-from-now-onwards

I hope Mikasa leaves his ass

I don’t think she’ll give up on him easily, but I think she needs to let go, for her own well-being

Eren is only partly right. Mikasa's instinct to always be near him and protect him (incidentally the things that irritated him) come from the Ackerbond impulses. Her life and affection for him are her own. Eren obviously doesn't hate Mikasa and he wouldn't treat her this way without a very good reason. They both have genuine care for each other.

Eren is a bitch and Mikasa didn’t deserve that bullshit

I think Eren is genuinely mad (his morals and arguments consistent with his character from the very start) and, if anything, is deeply wounded. I wouldn’t be surprised if those emotions inspired him to act out, even though it’s wrong. He also has 3 titans inside of him, so I’m sure his brain is super jumbled and loud.

Its interesting how Eren never hurt Armin until the Yaegerists entered the room...

I think the Ackerbond brought them together but they stayed together for love

Mikasa deserves the world. Eren

I really don't believe a happy ending is in store for them, but I want to be wrong so badly. My biggest fear is that Mikasa will have to be the one to bring Eren down, or that the Ackerbond is exactly as Eren says.

i really hope that when he said that he hated mikasa that it was all a lie

It is just really confusing.

Eren still cares about Mikasa. It wouldn't be like Isayama to just pull a complete 180 out of the blue like that and not have a reason for it. I remember he said a while back that the thought of Mikasa having nothing else to cling to but Eren was sad and that she'll have to grow apart from him in order to get development, which I believe will happen soon. That doesn't mean that she can't still be happy with him though, so I'm sure this conflict will be resolved in some way near the end.

I think that Eren doesn't hate her but wants to make her free from her ackerbond. He would like to see her real self.

It's weird, but I think the extra attention Isa gave to Eren and Mikasa's relationship is actually a good thing, despite the negative context. As readers we're supposed to obviously know that Eren allegedly hating her is a white lie. Could he harbor resentment for a particular aspect of her character? Maybe. But it's already been blatant that he truly cared about her. I don't know if we're headed towards a tragic or satisfying ending from a shippers perspective, but I do believe that it indicates that we will get some sort of mutual acknowledgement of their real relationship. For starters though, we really need Isa to tell us what the hell's going on inside Eren's head.

I believe we need to get more info about Eren’s thoughts and intentions before assuming anything either good or bad about Eremika for now

We just need to wait for more chapters everyone. I still have faith💜✨💕 No one should go berserk or riot, not even later.💖✨🌅

"Only know you love her when you let her go", Eren gonna suffer because of this, one day.

THEY BETTER FIX THIS

I pity Eren for not being able to tell the truth about his feelings. It must hurt him to hurt Mikasa.

I hoping that the theory about eren being controlled by the will of the attack Titan is true and chapter 112 eren wasn't really "our" eren. Also, eren never hated Mikasa. The will of the attackTitan hates Mikasa. It even tried to kill her way back in season 1 while eren's consciousness was trapped in some fantasy where his parents were alive and he even saw Mikasa in it. If Mikasa can be so dear to him that she becomes an element of fantasy of security and family, then I'm sure our Eren never hated mikasa. So yeah. I'm hoping our Eren is still in there somewhere and will regain control of his consciousness and thus EMA will be a family again. Hoping. Fingers crossed.

There's a river called the Nile, I am in denial! (About what happened in chapter 112)

Eren doesn't hate Mikasa at all. Look at the court scene in chapter 19 when Eren defends her when they accuse her of being a monster and threatened to dissect her. Chapter 50 when he promises to wrap her up in her scarf again and again forever. As well as chapter 51 when Eren looks concerned as Mikasa lies down with broken ribs.

fuck you eren fuck youeren

That scene just hurt too much

Their relationship didn't ruined

I hate Eren now, though I really liked him very much before time skip. I don't know what I want more now: all of it to be a mistake/some cunning plan of Eren to save friends or I want Mikasa to be free from the feelings for this bastard and be happy on her own, without need to always protect and care about this stupid child Eren. Maybe still I like the first option more.

Yeah I have a thought. IM A MASOCHISTIC IDIOT TO STILL FOLLOW THIS MANGA.

Sinceramente no creo que esto sea el final entre ellos, sino que es un preludio para que en un futuro cercano Eren se de cuenta de lo importante y de lo que tanto ama a Mikasa.

Mikasa will realize that she truly love Eren in a romantic way

I honestly think that their relationship is not going to end like this. I have a strong feeling that Isayama is going to make everything work out in the end for Eren and Mikasa, slowly but surely.

Chapter was powerful, yes, it hurt my shipper emotion, but powerful hands down. Isayama is genius.

Eren is cancelled

I think Eren has a goal in alienating his friends like this, he isn't just 100% apathetic toward them all of a sudden. He might be trying to keep them out of something BIG that's going to happen soon. Maybe his entire plan with Zeke is doomed to failure but for a greater goal, and he wants to keep them away from the losing side?

eren and mikasa’s bond is the only beautiful thing in this cruel world sO PLS STOP YOU GUYS DONT BE LIKE THIS 😭

Not need, but Eren is such a hoe. But I love him.. But he's still a bitch.. But I lo-

Eren is controlled by others so I believe he is kinda lying. He love Mikasa and Armin so much but now he has to hide it

Mikasa  should move on

Et tu Isayama

PLEASE ISAYAMA! AT LEAST DONT MAKE MY BABIES HATE EACH OTHER, EVEN IF EREMIKA NEVER BECOME CANON, LET THEM BE HAPPY WITH EACH OTHER, DON'T MAKE THEM ENEMIES!

"stop being a bitch, eren." -- armin.

I mean what else would I have expected from this depressing af series

They still love each other regardless of what Eren says and how hurt Mikasa is. They're bond is too strong to be broken and thrown under the rug after 1 chapter.

Bless Armin for standing up for my girl.

2019 is our year, guys. Just wait.

Wouldn't be satisfied if they reconcile without Eren heavily kissing Mikasa ass tbh.

He seems hurt by the thought of hurting her.

The attack titan "always pushes forward" plus he's probably seen things via the paths hense Krugers whopping out the EMA

why you can't just be honest with each other guys? honesty is one of the important things in realationship

I have no idea what Eren's true objective is and I really want to know WHY he'd do that to his best friends. I mean I'm hella biased so I'll still be on his side even if it turns out he had no real excuse but...

I just wonder if he said that for mikasas own good,so she could have a life apart from him.

When Eren said that he hated Mikasa and was 'bullying' Armin around, I think he was really just lying to keep them away from him and not hurt them as a consequence of his future actions. I remember in a chapter where the new Levi Squad were building train tracks and Eren saying he cared about all of them. I bring this up because I truly believe that he still sticks to his words from that day, and is trying to push them away including Mikasa so they don't get killed like Sasha did.

Eren is playing 4D chess. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt though.

we need another eren flashback okay

It was a (good) highly emotional chapter

Mikasa’s ackergene may have activated because of Eren, but she fell in love when he wrapped the scarf around her and extended friendship to her. Her love is true. Eren is just cray cray right now because he is influenced by memories/has spotty information.

I just want Eren to get hurt back by Mikasa herself

Eren truly is shocked from hurting Mikasa, he doesn't enjoy what he is doing.

Still wondering what is really going on in Eren's mind and his plan

Eren just want to keep safe her

per question above: Mikasa had protective feelings for him before he was a Titan which would still influence her feelings in the present, so I feel they have a genuine bond that's developed.

Isayama is just trying to make us hate Eren, and he knew this would hurt like a bitch! I have faith in our boi

It's pretty clear the truth isn't being spoken by Eren

It was both shocked and saddened to see them falling apart.

Mikasa is a strong character with potential. At this point I only want her to develop into the best strong girl boss she can be. As her own person with or without Eren.

I want to punch eren in the fucking face i want to dress him up like a cabbage and feed him to the snails

"Eren don’t you ever make my baby cry ever again or else

Mikasa is a little bit obsessed with Eren, so I understand why Eren used such cruel words, because they would get through her tick skull.

I think he lied to them (or at least told them half-truths), for what purpose I do not know. But if he really meant it he wouldn't look so hurt in that panel where Armin called him on his bullshit. Plus, I believe that if really believed in what he said, it would make his character irredeemable, and I don't think Isayama would ever do that (but that's just a guess though).

Sad babes

I feel like in this chapter that Eren is protecting Mikasa so she doesn't have to get hurt and Eren have to do that and I feel that Eren doesn't really mean all of that.

he’s definitely doing this to protect his friends

Fuck Eren in this chapter, but fuck Zeke more.

At this point Mikasa deserves better

I no longer ship them because Mikasa deserves so much better after everything she’s done to care for him. His words were too horrible, and therefore, they can never be a dignified ship again :(

Please wake up, Mikasa.

I await for a good Mikasa development arc and a tender Eremika and EMA reunion.

I want them to be back together again

They have'nt chemistry and common things.

It was cute and predictable

"just kiss already you two!" lol 1/2 jk

Eren is acting way too controversial recently. What he said isn't really what he truly feels, in my opinion.

I think, even though there was still emotional devastation on my part because of Mikasa and Armin’s reactions, it took a long time for me to evaluate the possibility that these were actually Eren’s words, since the whole thing was so bizarre and the degree to which he’s being controlled still hasn’t been clarified. I still believe that Zeke or Kruger may be influencing him, just because this is so antithetical to the Eren we know.

I think what Eren said is Isayama's way of setting up the inevitable confession of Eren's true romantic feelings for Mikasa somewhere along the way. I think Eren's pushing Mikasa (and the others) away so they won't get involved and be hurt on his future decisions, lest something bad happen to them. I've seen this thing happen before in other shonen stories, where the protagonist pushes away their potential romantic interest only to come back to them to apologize and confess. Idk I could be wrong though. I could never know what Isayama's really planning lmao

It's rewind time

it will give mikasa good character development

The ship is dead

If they were to mend back their bond, it wouldn't be the same as before. This is not a playground where they will all be happy. This is reality and they are bound to hurt each other whether they like it or not.

Eren is pulling the oldest trick in the trope book to try and force his friends away to protect them from his own fate

La ignorancia de Eren y el apego de Mikasa

Ok first of all Isayama himself said the Ackerbond is a CHOICE. Also even for Eren, that was an impressive amount of bullshit that came out of his mouth.

Eren looks so affected for Armin saying he made Mikasa suffer and we can appreciate he is truly hurt when he proves true that Mikasa is under influence of the Ackerbond while pushing Armin against the table. Plus, his reaction when Mikasa cries because she is disappointed of him in Liberio... thus it’s pretty obvious he DOESN’t HATE HER in my humble opinion.

💔💔💔💔💔

I need to see the story through Eren's eyes again for me to have a solid opinion.

I think that deep down Eren is doing everything to make him see Mikasa as a woman and not as a second mother. Deep down I think he loves her as she loves her

Well, someone previously mentioned before the contradiction found between Eren declaring that Armin is becoming soft and the fact that Armin suggested to have a titan devour and inherit Eren's powers back at chapter 108 which i totally agree with. Thus, i believe that the full truth has not yet surfaced and that it is still too early to judge on things that happened in chapter 112.

I really want to what he has in mind currently.

Mikasa's bond to Eren seems way stronger than Levi's to Erwin or Kenny's to Uri, so I feel that it's half Ackerbond and half lust

Eren lied to protect his friends

I think it's funny how a whole fandom can just totally overlook every moment between the pairing because of one chapter🤷‍♀️

EREN IS BUTTHURT THAT MIKASA MAY HAVE NOT REALLY LOVED HIM AND ARMIN IS DADDY AF

The chances for EreMika to become canon has increased and we might get a kiss and a sex scene between the two

I believe Eren is lying and Mikasa is really love Eren not because her ackerbond

I didn't expect this development so I still feel confused. I have a small hope Eren at least admits to himself he loves Mikasa.

I think Eren is brainwashed by Zeke. Also clearly hurt by the thought of his relationship/friendship with Mikasa being fabricated by her Ackerman genes since IMO he confessed back to her when he said he’d wrap her scarf as many times as she wants.. when she was about to kiss him cause she thought it was the end of both of their lives. Furthermore, whatever his plan is I think he wanted to keep Mikasa & Armin out of it to protect them cause i do not believe he could just start to hate them overnight. I hope this situation is temporary.

He doesn't hate her. How could he? I only hope her not to forgive him too soon (for herself, I mean). And I hope her to express her feelings just to, maybe, feel better.

@ eren why you gotta hurt her like that, MAMA DIDN’T RAISE YOU LIKE THIS!

Eren is obviously hurt for hurting his friends

I'll just wait for future chapters. Don't wanna make early conclusion

Lmao Yams is trolling

I have faith in eremika

I know mikasa won't end up with eren, but I just wish eren has same feeling like her.

I REALLY FUCKING HOPE eren is going to feel sorry for what he said to her, and that they‘re going to make up!

Eren is so blantantly obviously lying. Maybe Mikasas Ackerman genes have a bit to do with her protective nature, but not her feelings for Eren. There may have been times where Eren was frustrated with Mikasa, but he never has hated her. There is so much canon evidence he cares about her. For example him showing concern about her widget loss, the blushing scene, and him standing by her when she was injured. Much more where that came from. Maybe he said he hated her because he thought her Ackerman genes have control over all her feelings (which I don’t believe to be true, but perhaps he does.) Thus, sets her free because he cares about her that much.

it hurts eren to hurt his friends but he's got limited options here.

Eren better apologize to mikasa

I honestly think Eren's lying. We all know he's never been a good bullshitter, and he's transparent as HELL im 112, so tbh, i think he's partially being controlled be zeke who probably forced Eren to do what he did, and that he didn't mean what he said to Armin and Mikasa, and that he's doing it to keep them out of danger. Relationships like that don't just break off because someone said something hurtful. There's history behind the EMA friendship, and considering the type of person Eren is, he wouldn't just backstab them like that and tell them all those things, especially if he knew they'd cut deep. Eren's just a really, REALLLLYYYY terrible ass liar. (Wow i wrote a book here)

Something is up with Eren. While I think what he said seems harsh and unfair, I think what he’s expressing is true but the reasoning is off. I dunno how to explain its like... Eren isn’t the kind of person to say something like this for dramatic effect or do I see how pointless drama serves this kind of story at all. That and Mikasa’s reaction to what he said and her own doubts I can’t ignore that as much as I want to. Something is up but I think there’s is some truth in there

As much as I like Eremika I want Mikasa to get rid of Eren.

BRUHHHHHHHHH IAM HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABT THIS

Eren you bastard... why are you like this

It hurt Eren when Armin said that, his face says it all .. just that Eren got mad because he got a reaction out of it

Fuck u eren

The points he makes are quite logical, but the bond between them and the strong development of their relationship throughout the years  just make every harsh thing he said sound really really odd and although sounding like a truth - give the feeling of an utter lie

bitch i was ready to swing this edgy hobo boi is on some dumb shit obviously lying out of his ass to keep them safe or make them hate him for their own well being but he went too far with mikasa >:c

I believe Eren is simply way too aware of his and everyone's on the island deadly position/situation (Sarah's death definitely triggered him,too) hence his harsh words towards Mikasa and Armin in order to push them away and making whatever Eren has to do in order to safe them easier (i strongly believe Eren will die by the end of the series)

I wanna see more pain. (I’m sorry, I like the angst)

WHERE IS ALL THE ANGSTY FAN FICTION, I'VE BEEN REFRESHING AO3 LIKE A MADWOMAN

Just makes me sad that their relationship has always & seemingly will always be based around tragedy

Im scared and excited at the same time

Zeke's a liar and must die for giving Eren this bogus intel. Also, this scene is really similar to that anime only one from EP2, isn't it? It's the scene where Mikasa punches Eren after he implies Armin is a parasite, has to be canon now that Isayama is approving changes. If there's anything to call a smoking gun over disproving supposed genetic influences, this would be it.

Mikasa is most likely a key character in understanding Eren's behavior and general goal. For me this dark turn clearly paves the way to some juicy development in the future.

He might just be pushing her away so that when he dies she can more easily move on.

Maybe he purposely wanted to hurt her because he thought it was best for her for some reason. Maybe he’ll do something dangerous and he didn’t want her to be involved so he tried to push her away (don’t know, I’m just hoping so much that this will turn out to be positive)

I'm so sad y'all

Bull *wait for it* shit

I'm more confused, baffled and kind of amused at Eren than sad or even angry. It's just... what the fuck? Like, yeah, he's been all mysterious and shady for a while now, but this??? wth

Eren and Mikasa forever !  Seriously 112 was tough but we all know that Eren never hated Mikasa , what he did was because he had to .

There will be world war against eldians and eren tries to break his bond with mikasa cuz she should go to hiruzu far away from war. She is no eldian and eren thinks it's not her war.

Feel like Eren thought the only way to make mikasa free was to try and cut the “ackerbond”

chapter 50 exists and shows Eren's real feelings!! all's good!!

Eren might have memories from previous titans overlapping with his own memories and feelings - hence the change of attitude

Eren doesn’t hate Mikasa and doesn’t hate the fact that she’s an Ackerman. He was and always will be her family before anything, I know that he wants to set her free from her ackerbond and I know that he’s hurt from the inside cause he’s causing so much pain to his only family left but I know deep down that he still loves her and cares for her. I was never affected by the whole ‘Eren hates mikasa she should forget him he’s ungrateful and blah blah’ cause eventually he’s doing everything for his friends just like what he told them in CH108  I know I’m not the only one who believes this. In the end it’s up to isayama to decide everything and I hope that Eremika will end up together due to many factors that I can’t explain but clear in both the manga and the anime <3

I think Eren’s just going through some shit right now/is being manipulated by Zeile and hopefully Mikasa will help him come to his senses soon.

She deserves better

Eren is trying to cut off the ties he has to people important in his life.

bless Armin for saying: this is what you wanted??: the "frEed0m" to hurt Mikasa? fuck Eren, ackerbond or not what the motherfucking fuck are you thinking??

Pues creo q Eren solo dijo eso para proteger a sus amigos

There has to be a plan up his sleeves. A plan that temporarily had to sacrifice his relationship with the closest two people in his life but in turn it will protect them and they will one day realise this fact. I am just petrified that by then Eren could be dead. Isayama will finish me off if this turns out to be his plan all along.

2.7) Did Chapter 112 affect the shippers’ feels for eremika?

A bit less than 8% of the respondents are thinking about stopping shipping Eren and Mikasa or they don’t ship them anymore (74% of the people that checked this option have another hetero ship as their OTP and around 19% have a male/male ship as their OTP. None of the pickers of this option has eremika as their main ship, they either dropped it already or they never actually had it as a main)

Chapter 112 didn’t actually affect the feels for the pairing for 33% of the shippers, while it made 21.3% of the respondents to ship eremika even harder. 

There’s also the people (27%) that got affected by what happened in 112 but are trying to remain positive about the future of the ship and, on the other hand, less than 11% of the respondents are feeling down about it.  

2.8) Despite everything going on in the manga, 53.4% of the respondents still have high to very high feelings toward the ship, while 19.9% have very low to low feels toward it. The remaining 26.8% are in some sort of shipping limbo, they don’t ship them too hard nor too little.

2.9) "I'll wrap you up in it again... Again and again. Forever." Will Eren's promise be ever brought up again?

The majority of the respondents (70.2%) consider Eren’s promise to Mikasa has to be addressed again in the manga, while 24.3% are not so sure about it happening and 5.5% think it won’t be brought up again.

2.10) Considering everything that's going on in the manga, do you think Eren and Mikasa will become a canon couple at the end?

47.1% of the respondents think there’s a high chance for the ship to become canon by the end of the manga - almost 9% of them claim to have always been sure about it happening. 23.6% don’t know what to think anymore due to confusion or other reasons (Ereh, pls) and almost 14% don’t mind if the ship become canon or not.

15.4% don’t think the ship will become canon or that it sunk already. From this percentage of people, about 76% of them don’t have eremika as their main ship. Something similar happens with the ones that don’t mind the ship becoming canon or not.

Regarding the last four questions of this section, and to no one’s surprise, the more you ship a pairing the more positive you are about thinking it may become an official thing one day, meaning you consider the characters can overcome the obstacles or see these obstacles as chances.

The less you ship a pairing, the less you care about it becoming canon or you are more prone to interprete any obstacle between the characters as a signal of a doomed ship. This doesn’t surprise anyone either.

3. ON EREMIKA CONTENT

3.1) Around 46% of the respondents look for eremika content often to very often while 32% never or almost never does. 22% do it sometimes.

3.2) The favorite type of content that the shippers look for is Fanart with 47.6% of the preferences, followed by Fanfiction (24.6%) and written analysis or discussions about the ship (21.6%). Edits or memes and videos only got 4% and 2.2% of the preferences, respectively. No one chose cosplay as their favorite type of content.

3.3) With 399 responses, the frequency that the shippers reblog, retweet or like fanarts / edits 41.4% often to very often, 34.5% almost never or never do it and sometimes 24.1% of them do.

3.4) With 371 responses, around 44% of the shippers say they never (29.4%) or almost never give some sort of feedback to EM Fanfiction writers… which, sadly, isn’t unforeseen. A bit more than 17% claim to do it very often and about 39% do it sometimes or often.

3.5) 39% of the respondents have at least once made content for eremika and 31% still create content for the ship.

4. CONTENT CREATORS

This section was optional and 73 content creators responded to it. 

4.1) Around 60% of them are Fanfiction writers, 37% are fanartists, 20.5% are graphic makers and/or analysis writers, 8% of them make videos and almost 3% do cosplay. Other responses included writing headcanons, EM Facebook page and group admin, sewing EM plushies plus photographing and editing the pictures to add dialogue and effects, animations and someone will try their best at fanart.

4.2) Their favorite kind of content to create is Angst with 20.5% of the preferences, followed by Fluff (13.7%) and Smut (8.2%). 35.6% of the respondents stated to like all the types of content listed: Fluff, Angst, Smut and Humorous. A bit more than 12% claim to not really have a favorite kind of content. Other responses included “Fluffy and Humorous”, “a mix of angst yet powerful”, “canon compliant stuff”, “angsty, fluff”, “[...] all eremika content is GOOD FOR THE SOUL” and “I like to write rated M stories that don't just focus on the smut factor of the rating.”

4.3) On how often they create and publish their content, about 29% rarely do, over 27% do it once every a couple of months, 15% do it monthly and less than 10% do it at least once a week. Other responses included whenever they feel like it or are inspired and have time to do so, someone “create a fair bit but rarely publish anything”, someone else tries everyday to do something even if it’s not EM related, a writer used to update their fanfic monthly but nowadays barely writes, someone never publishes what they make but gives it to their close friends, a fanartist draw eremika all the time but never publishes it because they “know no one will like it”, someone else talk about EM with a friend everyday and they theorize together, and a writer used to write often but they rarely do anymore and it seems it’s been more than a year since they did.

4.4) Most of the respondents rate the support of the eremika fandom toward their content as regular (31.5%), a bit more than 23% rate it as very high, almost 25% as high and 20.6% as very low or low.

4.5) 42.5% of the respondents consider they help circulate other people’s creations very often while around 58% do it sometimes or often. Less than 3% said they never help to do so.

5. GENERAL DEMOGRAPHICS

5.1) This section was optional, except for the fandom and social media question, in which 72.3% of the respondents said to participate on Tumblr, almost 35% of them on Reddit, around 23% on Twitter and 17.7% on Discord. There are mentions of other social medias like Instagram (less than 8%), Facebook (a bit more than 2%), Youtube (1%) and Amino, Pinterest, a French forum, 4chan, DeviantArt, Fanfiction.net, Archiveofourown, Wattpad and real life. 5.5% of the respondents stated they don’t participate in Fandom.

5.2) In terms of geographical location, 47.5% of the 398 respondents to this question are from the American continent, almost 35% are from Europe, 13.6% from Asia, 2.3% from Oceania and 2% from Africa.

5.3) The native language of the respondents, considering 390 responses:

English 43.8%

Spanish 13.8%

French 5.1%

Italian 4.4%

German 4.1%

Russian 3.6%

Arabic 3.1%

Filipino / Tagalog 2.5%

Portuguese 2.3%

1.8% Hindi, Indonesian

1.5% Greek, Polish 

1.3% Mandarin Chinese

1% Dutch

0.8% Swedish (one of them also speaks Thai), 

0.5% Thai, Malay / Malayalam, Finnish, Romanian, Vietnamese, Japanese, Serbian, Bulgarian, 

At least one of the respondents speaks either Hebrew, Tamil, Welsh, Ukrainian, Urdu, Danish, Hungarian, Cebuano, Turkish, Bengali, Cantonese, Bisaya and Sami. 

5.4) When it comes to age ranges, almost 62% of the 398 EM shippers that responded to this question are between 18 and 24 years-old, 21.6% are between 13 and 17 years-old, 15.1% are between 25 and 34 years-old and only 1.5% are between 35 and 44 years-old.

5.5) 396 people responded to the gender question and the majority of them identify themselves as Female (70.5%), 24.5% as Male and 3.8% as Non-binary. One person identified themselves as demi-girl and someone else stated they didn’t want to say it. 

5.6) Finally, regarding the sexual orientation of the 388 respondents to this question, 64.2% are Heterosexual / Straight while 35.8% are among the LGBTQ+ spectrum: 13.7% are Bisexual, 9% don’t know or aren’t sure about their sexuality, almost 4% are Asexual, 3.4% are Pansexual, 2.3% are Demisexual, almost 2% are Gay / Lesbian and less than 1% are Queer. Other replies include Pan-Demiromantic and Lesbian/Asexual.

[chasingthecosmos]

A Hand to Hold

Fandom: Doctor Who Rating: G Pairing: The Doctor/Rose Tyler, Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler Chapters: 11/13 Read on AO3 here.

"The Doctor realized - far, far too late - that this hand-holding thing might be becoming a problem ..."

A (sort of) season re-write centering around the Doctor's touch telepathy and the many inconvenient ways that it gets in the way between him and his new companion, Rose Tyler.

This work is based around Season 1 and the Ninth Doctor.

Chapter Eleven: Boom Town

The three of them settled into a strange rhythm of normalcy in the following weeks (well, as normal as life traveling through time and space could possibly be). The Doctor marveled over the odd sense of complacency that he could feel himself settling into. When was the last time that he had known such peace? It was the type of contentment that he had never thought that he would be able to find (much less deserve) again.

The Doctor and Rose didn't have any more deep discussions about telepathy, dancing, or anything else that left him feeling completely out of his depth, but that wasn't to say that things weren't changed between them. The hand-holding and hugs lasted longer now, and the looks that passed between them always seemed charged with some sort of tangible energy. There was something new and indefinable in her eyes that he had a hard time ignoring, and an even harder time trying not to match with his own expressions.

It was all driving Jack quite insane, but the Doctor very quickly trained himself to ignore the ex-time agent's many suggestive, flirtatious remarks. Whenever Jack was being a particular pain, the Doctor would land on some alien planet and let him loose to wander by himself, giving the Doctor time alone with Rose. It was then that their lingering touches and teasing remarks could go on uninterrupted (for better or worse).

He was nervous when Rose suggested that they pop back to her time to meet up with Mickey, but he decided to go along with the plan anyway, hoping that (just maybe) she would prove him wrong once and for all and leave him behind for a nice, normal, human relationship.

He tried to tell himself that he was more disappointed than pleased when she ended up spending the entire day in Cardiff hanging on his arm instead of her (ex?) boyfriend's. However, there was no denying the sharp sting of hurt when he watched her head off to a hotel with him at the end of the night.

"So, what's going on?" Jack asked, his casual expression so fake that it made the Doctor want to hit him. But his rationality overtook his emotions for once and the Doctor settled for switching off the monitor with a sour look and refusing to give a proper reply instead.

So, throwing all previous plans out the window, he ended up going out to dinner with Margaret the Slitheen that evening. He told himself it was an attempt to grant a kind last request and not to fulfill the desperate need to keep his hands and mind busy and absolutely not thinking about what Rose and her (definitely-not-ex) boyfriend might be getting up to.

And what an eye-opening evening it turned out to be - as Margaret was able to remind him quite clearly of what exactly he was. He wasn't some dark, romantic prince with a tragic past and a princess to rescue. He wasn't even some poor, heartsick hero on a mission to help others and save the universe. He was someone who had to stand up and make the hard decisions when no one else would. He was someone who was dangerous - a killer, even. And he was someone who was certainly not good enough for someone as special and important as Rose Tyler.

That simple fact was really hammered home after things started to go wrong and Rose took no more than two steps back into his TARDIS and immediately became a hostage - her life on the line yet again, and all because he had failed to protect her. The Doctor decided that his dear time ship definitely had more mercy left in her than he did when they all crowded around the gazed down at the regressed egg of Margaret the Slitheen. He wasn't sure if he would have let her off the hook so easily after seeing her long claws poised so carefully against Rose's throat - ready to snap her in half at any moment.

As Rose ran off to find Mickey yet again, the Doctor resigned himself to cleaning up the wreckage left behind in the console room and preparing to get as far away from Earth as soon as possible. He ignored Jack's darting, sympathetic glances and reminded himself that this was what he had wanted - he had brought her here with the express purpose of coaxing her into staying.

But now the reality of that ill-conceived wish was crashing down around him. What if she told him that she didn't want to go traveling anymore? What if she wanted to stay behind in Cardiff with her nice, (boring) human boyfriend? She hadn't even been with him for very long, but already he dreaded the solemn silence that he knew she would leave behind when she eventually left him - just as all the others before her had.

He told himself that it was surprise and surprise alone that made his hearts start pounding when she finally opened the TARDIS doors and returned to him without an added passenger or an excuse to stay behind. But the heartbreak in her eyes was one that he knew well, and he had to offer to help, even if it was the exact opposite of what he really wanted to do.

"He deserves better," she admitted glumly, not meeting his eye.

The Doctor turned back to the console controls so that she wouldn't catch a glimpse of the fire he could feel burning within him. He knew that when it came to Rose Tyler there was nothing and no one "better". He felt as though he might burst with the need to know what Mickey could have possibly said to her to make her doubt herself so egregiously.

"Off we go, then. Always moving on," he announced instead.

He set their destination for Raxacoricofallapatorious and told Jack to mind the monitors before he finally allowed himself to step forward and take Rose's hand once more. He led her to the TARDIS infirmary without a word, and she followed without complaint or comment.

He didn't realize that he had lowered his mental shields until he subconsciously reached out to her and was met with a steel wall of silence. Whatever had happened between her and Mickey, he wasn't going to be able to use his cheap parlor tricks to get it out of her. For the first time since he had met her, she was purposefully keeping him out. He didn't expect it to hurt as much as it did, but he brushed off the feeling of rejection and loneliness with a practiced hand.

"How's your neck?" he asked, deciding to focus on the superficial hurt first.

Rose obediently hopped up onto the examination table without need of direction and he immediately flipped on the medical scanners. The two of them had been in enough scrapes during their time together that they were both relatively familiar with the routine of a typical infirmary visit.

"It's fine. You fuss too much, Doctor," she sighed wearily, still not meeting his eyes.

The medical scanner quickly confirmed her analysis and showed that apart from some light bruising, she wasn't injured in any way.

"Just some bruising," he muttered under his breath, reaching for the sonic in his inside pocket and then coming to stand before her at the edge of the examination table. "Nothing the sonic can't fix."

He held the blue-tipped instrument between them and waited patiently for her response, not daring to touch her in this moment without her explicit permission.

She simply raised one of her dark eyebrows at him in a "well-get-on-with-it" look and pulled the warm wool scarf from around her head in one hasty motion. She turned her head to the side without a word, continuing to keep her gaze trained away from his as she exposed her neck to his examination.

"You sure you're alright?" he asked slowly as he adjusted the sonic's settings and began to trace the edges of the mottled skin on her throat.

"I'm fine," Rose lied, closing her eyes as the sonic began to whir gently against her soft, pale skin.

The Doctor let her keep the lie - he knew from experience how clinging to them could offer a strange sense of peace in times of turmoil. He focused instead on making her feel better in whatever way he could - even if it was as simple as healing her bruises. His fingers were gentle against her as he let the sonic do its work to restore her broken blood vessels and he projected as much peace and acceptance as he could through their thin physical connection.

"Doctor," she said suddenly, her voice little more than a whisper in the small space between them.

"Yes?"

"Would you promise me something?"

He locked his jaw so that he wouldn't be tempted to open his mouth and impulsively swear to give her anything that she desired. He knew that they were already on dangerous ground once again and he wasn't about to let himself start making false promises - not to her.

When he didn't reply, she opened her eyes slowly and gave him a heavy, sidelong glance out of the corner of her eye.

"Doctor, please," she admonished quietly. "Just promise me that you're not going to leave me."

"Leave you?" he repeated, refusing to let himself make any vows or declarations until he knew all of the small print that she was drafting into this verbal deal.

"Yeah. Don't think I don't know why you really brought us back here today," Rose sighed, twisting her head to bare the opposite side of her neck without the Doctor having to ask her to do so. "I think maybe, deep down, you want me to stay. You think I'll be safer that way."

The Doctor bit the inside of his cheek roughly in an attempt to fight back the many responses that he had to such a comment. He forced himself to remain silent, but he couldn't stop the way that his fingers were brushing against the skin of her throat far more thoroughly than they needed to.

"But I don't want to stay," she continued, her annoyance clearly growing as he continued to refuse to respond to her. "I wouldn't be here if I did. I want to be with you."

The confessions were bubbling up within him and the Doctor knew that he had to do something - and fast - before he accidentally let one of them slip out. So, in a moment of weak desperation, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to her warm skin in an effort to silence them. She gasped softly as his mouth connected with the side of her neck, just below her jawbone.

The gentle kiss only lasted for a second, but he remained bent over her, breathing heavily against the side of her face and refusing to allow himself a glimpse at her expression.

"Then stay," he finally whispered, closing his eyes tight and refusing to look at the time lines laid out before him that he knew were shifting and falling into alignment because of this one, simple command.

Now it was Rose's turn to be silent as she fumbled for his free hand and laced her fingers together with his. He was still leaning over her, frozen in time as she brought his hand into her lap and clutched it tightly - like a lifeline, like a promise.

He felt her thumb gently grazing over his and he squeezed her fingers once, tightly, before finally forcing himself away.

"Bruising should be fully healed by tomorrow," he announced as he turned his back on her and began bustling about the medical room, mindlessly straightening things and opening and closing cabinets and drawers. "Let me know if you notice any pain or scarring in the meantime."

"Alright," she sighed after a moment's pause. He heard her boots hit the ground as she jumped off of the examination table, and when he finally found the courage to turn around and face her once more, he found that she was already gone and the moment was over.

[thebeethathums]

An Adventure - 9

Pairing: Bilbo Baggins x Reader

The room was large and Thorin, Balin, and Gandalf were already there, standing across from Elrond. Gandalf gave you a nod as you fell in beside them, folding your hands behind your back only to wince and let them fall to your side, an action that your host noticed, “It will take some adjusting.”

You nodded, “Of course, My Lord.”

Both Bilbo and Balin could see Thorin’s eye twitch at your use of the honorific but if you noticed you didn’t show it, keeping your eyes trained forward and your stance formal. You stayed quiet as your mentor argued with Thorin again, trying to get him to show the map to Elrond, who was one of the few in Middle Earth that could actually read it. Once he’d agreed to share his small scrap of ancient parchment, Elrond examined it closely, holding it up in the moonlight to give a curious hum, “Moon runes.”

A wide smile spread across your face and you held back the urge to squeal in delight as Gandalf breathed, “Moon runes… Of course.”

“Moon runes?” Bilbo questioned, looking to you for an explanation. You offered him a small grin, “Ancient runes written in an ink that can only be read when illuminated by the light of the moon and, the more complex ones, only by the light of a moon of the same season and shape.”

“Precisely,” Elrond stated, approving of your interest in the ancient language, and then stepped further into the room to more closely examine the map. You let the others follow him to listen to him talk, observing your surrounds with curiosity as you wandered a little.

You stepped forward to run your fingers along a railing that had a slight dip in its otherwise smooth surface, like someone had continuously worried at it with their hand. You raised an eyebrow at it and then stroked the dip with your fingertips, only to gasp and pull away as if it had burned you.

The noise drew the attention of the others and Gandalf gave a little frown, “What did you see?”

You shook your head as you turned away from them, your expression sorrowful as your eyes brimmed with tears, and Bilbo wanted desperately to go to you and would have had Gandalf’s hand not rested firmly on his shoulder. You took a couple of deep breaths and then raised your face to meet Elrond’s, “I am so sorry for your loss My Lord. In time you will join her in Valinor, you should not let your grief weigh upon you so.”

Elrond startled, looking from you to Gandalf who was watching you closely, noting that you’d gone pale and there was a pain in your eyes that looked centuries old, far older than you were. Taking a moment, you better composed yourself, straightening your stance and raising your chin, “I have overstepped my place My Lord, please forgive me and say all is forgotten so that we may see what the moon has to offer.”

Elrond gave a final glance to Gandalf who was silently telling him not to push it, as the dwarves and Bilbo examined you with a new interest, and then nodded, “It is already forgiven and forgotten, my child. Let us continue on to more pressing matters.”

He began to lead the group away and Gandalf released Bilbo’s shoulder with an upward nod in your direction indicating that he should go to you. You had already begun to follow Elrond and the dwarves when he caught your arm and you turned to look at him before wrapping your arms around him in a desperate hug, needing some form of affectionate contact to temper the images in your head.

He didn’t hesitate to return it, holding you close for a moment before quietly beginning to ask, “What was-“

You pulled away and shook your head, pressing a finger over his lips, “Hush. Later. Now there are far more curious things to see.”

He nodded and then you turned to catch up to Elrond and the others, knowing he would follow you.

Elrond led you to a rock platform of sorts, whether it was carved out of the cliff face or naturally formed you did not know but it offered a perfect view of the moon through the many waterfalls around it.

Bilbo was glad to see an awed smile cross your previously sad face as you stepped to the edge of the area, reaching out to let the water from one of the rivulet waterfalls envelope your hand. He felt Gandalf’s hand on his shoulder and looked up at him, “Thank you, my dear fellow. There are some comforts I cannot easily offer her.”

He just nodded looking back to you; you had moved to stand next to Elrond as he pressed the map to a crystal pedestal that allowed the moon to light it up.

“It would seem you were meant to come to Rivendell as the same moon shines upon us tonight as the day these runes were written nearly two hundred years ago,” he stated as the runes on the map lit up when the crystal did, allowing him to read what was there, “Stand by the grey stone when the thrush knocks and the setting sun with the last light of Durin's Day will shine upon the key-hole.”

The dwarves began to discuss this with Gandalf as you looked on and Elrond, discovering the true intentions of the dwarfs, began to walk off in a huff. You stopped him, skipping over to bow your head as you asked, “My Lord, if you will allow it I would very much like to remain here with my thoughts for a short while longer.”

He scrutinized you for a second and then nodded, “I will allow it. Though I ask that you not to stay longer than you must, your injury will heal far quicker if you allow yourself to rest.”

“Of course, My Lord. You have my gratitude.”

Elrond’s voice dropped so only you could hear it, “You should allow the Halfling to join you, he seems quite concerned with the way the moonlight brings out the beauty in certain things.”

You blushed, giving a small, shy smile as you looked over at Bilbo who quickly averted his eyes from you, “A truly wonderful bit of sound advice, My Lord. I shall take it to heart.”

Elrond shook his head as he gave a soft knowing smile and continued his path off of and away from the platform, followed by Gandalf and the two dwarves who were quietly discussing the path ahead in light of the new discovery. Bilbo moved to join them but as you passed him to return to the crystal you offered, “You may join me if you like. The view of the moon is exquisite from this place.”

“Uhhmm… Are you sure? Didn’t you just tell Lord Elrond you wanted to be with your uh...thoughts or something of the sort?”

The two of you were alone on the platform now, with him hesitantly standing in between a state of go or stay by the door and you tracing the edge of the still glowing crystal with a sense of wonder and curiosity. You looked up at him from underneath your lashes, the crystal lighting up your face so that it glowed with an unearthly light, “And if my thoughts are with you?”

You tried to control the twitch of your lips as they threatened to turn up in a smirk when he blushed and opened his mouth a couple of times only to close it before finally responding, “Then I suppose I must stay to keep your thoughts here as well.”

Letting out that lilting laugh that he so loved to hear, you beckoned for him to come sit with you on the edge of the platform, sitting down to let your legs hang over it as you waited for him to join you.

When he did, plopping down next to you, you turned to look at him, “Thank you for staying with me, Bilbo.”

He nodded, looking up at the moon, “You were right about the view.”

The crescent moon loomed largely in the sky, its sharp curve and cratered surface clearly visible, and you hummed contently as you looked up at it, prompting him to ask, “Why is it that you cherish the moon as you do? You even knew about the moon runes. Our host seemed impressed.”

“It reminds me of my childhood and my parents. They both cherished the moon and its twinkling companions in the night sky just as I do. I suppose it is a love I inherited from them. As for the moon runes… when my mother was away, my father would often tell me a tale involving two lovers, forbidden to be together, who communicated through moon runes that could only be read as these were- on the night of the same moon and season as when they were written. They had to wait a year to read what the other had written and two to get a response. All to keep their love a secret. It was tragic and beautiful at the same time just like his voice was deep and gruff but gentle. I’ve never forgotten it.”

“Would you tell it to me sometime?” He asked, watching the way the moonlight made your fair skin glow and your eyes sparkle as he thought again about how well it suited you.

Turning to offer him a small smile, you replied, “If you’d like I will tell it the next time you find yourself unable to sleep.”

He gave you a shy grin, “I’d like that very much.”

You yawned softly and he chuckled, standing to offer you a hand, “Come on. It’s been a long day and I know you could do with a proper rest.”

Taking his hand so he could help you to your feet, you sighed, “Do you think Lord Elrond would be offended if I slept in the stable?”

He laughed, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, careful of your wound, “I’m sure Blossom will be just fine on his own.”

Humming softly, you leaned into his shoulder, “True… perhaps a change from his back will do my muscles some good as well.”

The two of you disconnected, padding along next to each other to your respective rooms with whispered good nights and increasingly frequent quiet yawns. You flopped down on your bed and realized you couldn’t even remember the last time you’d slept on an actual bed. It was nice but you couldn’t help but feel lonely without the dwarven snores and Blossom’s soft nickers to break up the quiet. Curling up into yourself, you softly began to hum the lullaby you’d soothed the horse with earlier as you drifted off into a deep sleep, knowing no danger crept along the safe halls of Imladris.

Tags <3:

@xxdragonagequeenxx

@bewareofmyinside

@decadentenemyturtle

@not-fandom-addicted

[alltheselights]

i went under the hashtag and there were tons of people who praised his performance too and they weren’t fans, i’m so mad -.-

The press is almost never on Louis’ side, and when there is an article that’s flattering toward him, it’s almost always on a small source (like Celebmix) or a source that most people aren’t reading for its entertainment content (like the Huffington Post). When you don’t have a team that goes to bat for you when it counts and when you have a team that refuses to improve your reputation and actually rewards sources that trash you constantly, this is what happens.

I know that it’s the Mirror being gross right now, but think about how Dan Wootton wrote articles FOR YEARS about how Louis’ bandmates hate him and how untalented he is and how out of control he is, often telling lies that the fandom debunked in three seconds flat, and then think about how Louis’ team gave Dan and The Sun the exclusive on Jay’s tragic death. Think about how The Sun and The Daily Mail slam Louis at every opportunity and give more positive attention and press to his no-name baby mama and girlfriend than they do to him, and then think about how they’re always the first to receive quotes from “Louis,” photos, interviews, and stories.  Louis’ team actively feeds bad press sources every chance they get rather than combating damaging lies or working to improve how Louis is viewed by the general public and the media, and it’s so fucking ridiculous because Louis is not even close to being an unlikable or untalented person. He’s lovely and generous and kind and funny and intelligent and talented, and he’s made a few mistakes, like anyone, but the level of vitriol he receives in the press is in no way deserved - and that vitriol in the press encourages the general public, which receives little or no other information about the type of person he is, to treat him the same way. It’s infuriating and I desperately want him to have people behind him that work on his behalf. The press Louis receives would probably look very different if he did.

[featherymalignancy]

You Are My Nothing: A Clace Angstfest, Part III

Summary: Clary is a sophomore coping with the death of her mother. Jace poses a student to report her movements back to the anxious Council, who is desperate to find out if she is a pawn in her father’s game. Despite the their directive that he not make contact, Jace develops a fascination with her that blossoms into something which threatens to destroy them both.

Warning: There will be some non-incestuous, consensual Clebastian in this. I am coming to see that this seems to be a huge point of contention in the fandom, but it serves the story, so it’s happening. Don’t panic when it does. 

Previous Chapters: Part I Part II

Tags: @krm00623 @urbisie

 Part III

Clary sat with Jace's jacket in her lap the following Monday, drawing out her notebook and pens and actively fighting the urge to look at the door for approximately the millionth time. It was five minutes til, and at Clary had begun to worry Jace wouldn't show. She had no reason to think he wouldn't—he'd never missed a class before, so far as she was aware—but he was nowhere in sight. It was annoying he'd picked today of all days to be absent. More annoying still, she was mildly gutted about it.

Urging herself to pull it together, she glanced at the door a final time before turning back to professor, who'd finally begun to lecture.

"Looking for me?"

She started at Jace's voice in her ear as he gracefully leapt over the chair and down into the empty seat beside her.

"How did you do that?" she asked in reply, not wanting to admit she had been.

"Do what?" he said, flashing another grin.

"Sneak up on me like that!" she hissed. "You scared the Hell out of me."

"I've been told by doctors I may be part cat," he said in a low, casual tone, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. "Long story, but not a cause for any real alarm."

She snorted back her laughter and continued setting up as she realised he had nothing with him.

"You're not going to take notes?"

He raised his eyebrows in a sardonic expression.

"Have you ever seen me take them before?"

"I don't know," she shot back in a breezy whisper, scrawling the date at the top of her page. "I haven't been watching you as closely as you clearly watch me."

He laughed.

"Touché."

By this time the class had begun in earnest, and Clary tried to ignore Jace as she began to scribble down dates and figures. Halfway through class a small note fell across her page and she unfolded it.

Less writing, more drawing, it said, and she crumpled it up and threw it back at Jace, making him laugh.

Jace was out of his seat the minute the professor was done talking, as if sitting still for so long had been physically painful for him. Clary watched in amusement as he cracked his knuckles and stretched, though she felt her throat tighten slightly when he raised his arms over his head, revealing the roped muscles of his obliques where they cut into his trip hips and disappeared below the waistband of his low slung jeans. She looked away quickly, hoping he hadn't noticed her admiring him.

"Here's your jacket back," she said, offering it to him as she stood as well.

He accepted it and put it on before putting a nose to the sleeve.

"Did you have it dry-cleaned?" he said, laughing. "Not necessary."

"I felt bad you had to walk home that night without it," she said.

"I'm sure I'm still better off than you would have been in wet lace. Besides, I live over on the East Side; it was a short trip."

Clary wondered if he had roommates. He didn't really seem the type that would, though it was a rare college student indeed who could afford to live in Manhattan alone.

"Coffee?" Jace said as they stepped out of the Silver Building on onto Washington Square.

"What?" Clary said almost stupidly. Somehow she hadn't expect him to ask her that.

"Would you like a cup of coffee?"

He was gesturing to a street cart and pulling out his wallet.

"Oh, you don't have to. I mean, I can buy—"

He smiled.

"I know you can, but it's early, and I thought you might be thirsty and fancy a cup."

Clary felt stupid for getting so flustered. It wasn't like her to get flustered over attention.

"Okay, yeah," she said, trying to sound casual as she flicked her coppery braid of her shoulder to avoid fiddling with it nervously. "Thanks."

He smiled and extended her a cup.

"Cream or sugar or anything?"

"No thanks," she said. Her mother had always drank it black, so she had, too.

"Where are you headed now?" he asked, glancing down at an antique wristwatch on his right wrist before taking a sip of his own.

"Courant. I have Calculus with Davis."

Jace smiled knowingly.

"I heard he's a real hard ass."

Clary smiled back, warmed by his gilded gaze on her.

"He's yelled at one girl in my class about three times last week."

Jace's lips quirked up in a expression a private amusement.

"I bet she deserved it. I'll walk with you."

She tried not to read into the gesture.

"You don't have class?"

"Mondays are light for me. Why, are you trying to get rid of me?"

"As if it were that easy," she said, and he smiled, eyes glittering in appreciation

"Walked straight into that, didn't I?"

They lapsed into silent for several steps before Clary blurted,"Where are you from?"

He seemed taken aback, and she swore there was something similar to fear in .

"Sorry?"

"Your accent," she explained. "Is it—Australian?"

He shook his head quickly.

"South African."

"Damn," she said in a light tone. "I'm usually so good at that."

"You are," he said in the same light tone, though there was something slightly guarded in his voice now. "I didn't realise I even had an accent anymore."

"My mom was from England," she explained, remembering Jocelyn's undulating voice and trying not to be too pained. "I guess I like to think it makes it easier for me to hear them. So are you just here for school or—"

"No," he said quickly again, and it seemed as if he was consciously fighting to keep his tone conversational. Still, he seemed flustered. Well, not flustered, exactly; he was too suave for something so undignified. But certainly caught off guard, as if he'd never expected her to ask.

"My mum died when I was a baby and my dad died when I was ten," he went on reluctantly when he realised she was waiting for more of an explanation "That's the last time I was back—home."

"I'm sorry," she said, and his brows knitted in confusion, as if it were an odd thing to say.

"It's not your fault," he said in a flat voice, and she could sense it wasn't something he was particularly eager to discuss.

"My mom just died, too," she said softly after a beat of silence. "Hit by a drunk driver."

He looked sympathetic, but his amber eyes remained keen.

"And you father?"

She glanced up, not expecting this question.

"I never knew him, and my mom never wanted to talk about him. I don't even know his name. I grew up with my stepdad, though; he and I are very close."

He nodded, not the way people do when they don't know how to react to tragic news, but like a person who understood what she'd been through. It was something she didn't realise she'd been craving until that very moment, and it was cathartic.

"How old are you?" she blurted then, and he turned, smiling.

"How old do I look?" he asked, clearly amused.

She took the opportunity to study his face again, all symmetry and pleasing angles. She didn't trust herself to survey his lithe, well-muscled body without blushing, so she looked away and shrugged.

"I have no idea," she admitted.

There were no wrinkles around his eyes, lips, or across his forehead, but he still had an air of self-assurance than made him seem much older. That, and he was built like an Olympic athlete in his prime.

He laughed. "Should I be offended?"

She laughed, too, though a bit sheepishly.

"It's not that you look old or anything, there's just—" she paused, realising she had no idea how to articulate when she meant. "Something about you."

He considered this with a thoughtful expression, and she was relieved not to be dismissed out of hand, though she could feel a flush creeping up her cheeks as she ruminated under his gaze.

"What kind of something?"

She thought about that familiar edge to him she'd seen the first time she'd really looked at him. She wondered if she could see it again if she looked hard enough, or if he'd hidden it away. Maybe it had never existed at all, and she was trying to make something significant and meaningful out of the fact that he was incredibly hot.

"It's hard to explain," she finished, but he nodded anyways.

"I think I understand," he said finally, and her stomach constricted in anticipation of an explanation for the Otherness that always seemed to cloak him.

"You do?"

He smirked, the thoughtfulness in his features replaced by self satisfaction.

"You've never met someone with this much charm and sexual charisma, and you're overwhelmed."

She bubbled her lips as her eyes rolled back far enough to reveal white. Whatever realness had been resonated between them seemed to dissipate into something more mundane.

"You think you're pretty hot stuff, don't you?" she asked in a dry tone.

At this, the smirk widened into a toothy grin.

"Fray, I'm the hottest stuff you're ever liable to meet."

She could tell he'd expected her to blush and look a way at this, but she didn't. She gave him a pursed-lip smile instead.

"Doubtful," she scoffed. "And how did you know my last name?"

"It's written on your notebook," he shot back easily. "Are you really telling me you don't think I'm hot? You really know how to break a guy's heart."

She gave a cool laugh.

"Don't tell me I'm the first girl who's even said 'no' to you before."

"Not the first, maybe," he said, raising his eyebrows. "But definitely no more than the sixth or seventh."

She rolled her eyes again, but there was no malice in the gesture.

"You still haven't answered my question," she pointed out.

"Which was? I've completely forgotten."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-one. Why, how old are you? Fourteen?"

He attempted to rest an elbow on the top of her head, which barely brushed the his shoulder, and she shoved him playfully.

"How dare you," she said as they entered the math building. "I was the tallest kid in my four grade class."

He flashed her a knowing smirk.

"Let me guess; you've grown about an inch since then."

"No," she said, nudging him as he continued pretending to measure her. "I've grown half an inch."

At this he gave an unguarded laugh, and she instantly decided it was a sound she wanted to hear more often. They were almost to her classroom now, but she ignored the twinge of disappointment at knowing their time together was nearly spent. Luckily the class didn't start for another five minutes, and the professor had yet to arrive, so students were still milling around.

"Door-to-door service," she said, "Very thorough."

He shrugged.

"I take campus security very seriously."

She gave a deadpan look that made him laugh again, and it was so lovely she had to fight not to smile herself.

"It's 10 am."

He pursed his lips.

"And you're the height and weight of a middle-schooler. Honestly, Fray; you could be abducted by a schoolyard bully with a grudge."

She crossed her arms to hide the pittance this comment had caused in her stomach, but as she watched his eyes slip from the column of her throat to the edge of her lacy bralette, now visible above the neckline of her loose sweater, it disappeared. He seemed to realise he'd been caught looking, and he gave a soft laugh and ran a hand through his thick tawny hair. She doubted he was capable of looking truly embarrassed, but he at least had the decency to look sheepish. What did it say about her, she wondered, that she'd wanted him to look? Maybe just that she was a feminist, and she didn't have to apologise for wanting what everyone did: to be physically appreciated.

"Well thank you for the coffee," she said finally, and he smiled.

"My pleasure. Thanks for dry cleaning my jacket."

"Anytime."

He smirked, and she could tell that he was getting ready to make a joke about spilling a drink on her when his eyes flashed, snagging on something over her shoulder.

She turned, seeing the beautiful girl the professor was always yelling at for being late staring at them. Her eyes were none-too-friendly, and Clary realised she seemed to know Jace. Innocuous though this should have been, it stung like new skin after a scrape. Jace's body language changed immediately, and Clary fought not to tense as well.

You couldn't really have expect someone like him to be single, could you? Besides, he was just being friendly.

Jace's eyes snapped back to Clary, and this time she did flush. All the light in them was gone, and they were flat.

"I should go," he said shortly. "See you around, Fray."

With that, he was gone.

Jace woke to his phone buzzing and groaned before blearily glancing at the clock on his bedside table. It was still early, and more important than that, it was Saturday. Annoyed, he answered the call.

"What do you want, Iz?" he asked, eying falling closed again.

"Oh thank the Angel you're awake," came the reply.

"I'm not," he said. "So this better be important."

"It is! I need your help!"

Immediately he sat up.

"What's going on? Are you in trouble?"

"Well no, but I'm going to be. I'm running late, and Alec's going to kill me!"

Jace flopped back.

"Goodbye, Isabelle."

"Wait, please! I'm on Fray duty in half an hour and I'm still in Boston!"

Jace laughed, rubbing his eyes.

"Boston?" he repeated mirthfully. "What are y—no, you know what? Never mind, I don't want to know."

"Stop laughing and help me!" she whined.

"I don't know what you expect me to do!" he said, continuing to laugh. "I hate to disappoint you, but I didn't magically inherit the ability to portal overnight."

"You could cover for me," she pointed out, and there was silence as he considered.

Isabelle had lectured him for half an hour Monday afternoon about walking Clary to class, and since then he'd been forced to keep his polite distance. However, the desire to spend more time with her was back and stronger than ever, and he couldn't deny that the temptation to do so without the distraction of school or class was fairly overwhelming.

"Please," Isabelle said. "I met someone I really like, and he's taking me on a tour of the Harbour. Besides, I know you want to. I saw the way you were looking at her on Monday."

"I thought you said that was a bad idea. I thought you said I should keep my distance, or you'd tell Alec."

"I did, but I won't tell him if you don't."

Jace paused, even knowing what his answer would be.

"Do you know where she'll be?"

"She goes to a hot yoga class at the 404 gym in the Village. It starts at nine."

He laughed and prepared to object, but when the image of Clary glistening with sweat in nothing but a sports bra and tight athletic pants popped into his head, he bit back his distain.

"Fine," he said.

She squealed.

"You'll really do it?"

"Yes, but you owe me one. Also, I don't suppose I have to say it, but I will anyway: don't tell Alec."

"I won't! Thank you, J! You can borrow my mat; it's in my room."

"Just so we're clear," Jace said, rising from the bed and putting on boxer briefs. "We are never to speak of this again."

"Understood," she said, clearly distracted now that she'd gotten her way.

"I mean it, Iz. At no point in the future are you allowed to tell Alec I did yoga."

"Don't be so gender rigid," she said. "Boys can do yoga, too, you know."

"That wasn't an answer."

"Fine, whatever, I swear. Gotta go! Have fun!"

"You owe me one," Jace said. "Don't forget."

The line clicked off and he threw the phone down, consulting the clock on the wall before stepping into athletic shorts. He considered taking a shower, but it didn't seem worth it if he was going to sweat, so he simply threw a zip up over his bare chest instead, smoothing his hair back and putting on a backwards hat before heeling into boots; Shadowhunters didn't believe in trainers, and he would have sooner died than worn a pair of those hideous open-toed sandals Mundy guys were always wearing. Not that he had much room to talk, he realised as he saw his reflection in the mirror. In the flat-billed hat and wayfarer glasses, he looked ever bit the Mundy frat boy himself. Still, there was nothing to be done for it now, so checking the clock a final time, he went to Isabelle's room and grabbed her rolled up mat from amongst the wreckage and set off for the Village.

Clary arrived at yoga about ten til, her mat tucked under one arm and her water bottle in the other. It was decently full with people about fairly distributed across both genders, and before she could stop herself, Clary looked around for the beautiful girl from her Calc class; the one who knew Jace. She wasn't in her usual spot near the mirror, and Clary feel a pang of relief, though it was quickly dashed by an image of the girl lying naked in bed next to him. Now somewhat sullen at the thought, she continued scanning the room for a spot for her own mat, nearly laughing out loud when she saw Jace himself tucked into the corner. He was sitting on his mat still wearing a backwards hat and what looked like work boots, seeming none-too-pleased to be there.

Casually she approached, dropping her mat beside his.

"Be honest," she said when he looked up and smirked. "Are you stalking me?"

"Would you be mad if I was?" he said with a flirtatious smile, and she rolled her eyes.

"Oh c'mon, Fray, don't be like that; you don't own the ancient art of yoga."

"So I'm honestly supposed to believe this isn't your first time in a yoga studio?" she asked, settling atop of her mat and crossing her legs.

He gave a self-important snort.

"Of course it isn't."

"Okay," she said. "Then name one pose."

He considered before a moment before answering.

"Chakra."

She laughed, and he looked please at having made her do so.

"Nice try. Those are the spiritual centers of the body."

"Shanti?" he ventured with less confidence.

"An invocation of peace. And you're supposed to say it three times for peace of body, speech, and mind."

"What the hell is peace of body even mean?" he said, and she laughed.

"I knew it!"

"Okay, fine," he conceded, infected by her good spirits. "I was supposed to come with my friend Isabelle, but I was already here by the time she bailed."

"Oh," Clary said, fiercely feigning indifference. Of course the beautiful brunette's name was Isabelle. It was lush and exotic, just like she was.

"Satisfied?" he said, playfully seeking to catch her gaze again.

She forced a breezy smile. Clary Fray was a lot of things, but jealous she was not. Besides, it felt wrong to harbor resentment in a yoga studio. Shanti, shanti, shanti, she told herself.

"No," she replied. "But I will be when I get to watch you make a fool of yourself. It's not as easy as it looks."

The instructor had arrived by now, turning on the music and turning up the heat as she welcomed the class.

"I think I'll be fine," Jace said, kicking off the boots and taking off his hat before smoothing his hair back. "I'm a quick study. Feel free to watch me anyways, though; I love a captive audience."

With that he unzipped his hoodie to reveal his perfectly formed torso. Clary could see that in addition to the tattoo on his neck, he had several more criss-crossed across his arms, back, and chest. Something about them seemed to call to Clary, as if she'd seen them before. Or perhaps it was the canvas that was calling to her. Jace's skin was bronze and smooth, and the desire to touch him was fairly overwhelming. However, not to be flustered or outdone, Clary took off her own pullover and tossed it carelessly aside, leaving her in a criss-crossing sports bra and yoga pants. When she felt Jace drinking her in, she smirked inwardly.

By now the class had begun in earnest, and Clary did her best to pay attention and lose herself in the poses. However, she found her eyes snapping often to Jace. It wasn't so much because he looked like a gilted Bernini sculpture come to life—though he did—but the way he moved. It was graceful and hypnotic, and he hadn't been lying; he was a fast learner. He seemed to adapt the poses with ease, and for guy, he was surprisingly limber.

When it was over, he ran two hands through his damp hair to push it back into place before putting his hat back on. He then turned to Clary, grinning.

"I admit that was harder than I anticipated," he said, watching her keenly as she re-braided her own sweaty hair and shrugged her soft pullover back on.

"Please," she said, bending to pick up her mat. "You were annoyingly good and you know it."

He'd yet to zip up his hoodie, and she couldn't help tracing the mosaic of muscles in his stomach as she straightened.

"Careful," he said as they walked into the blissfully cool lobby. "That almost felt like a compliment."

"It was an observation," she corrected. "Something tells me that you give yourself more than enough self-congratulations. I wouldn't want to pile on."

"What's wrong with that?" he asked, blowing himself a kiss in the mirror and making her laugh. "In case you haven't heard, self love is the best love."

She laughed again, pretending not to notice as he finally zipped his hoodie. In truth it was rather disappointing.

"There's a masturbation joke in there somewhere," she observed dryly. "I'm just too lazy to look for it."

He gave her a look of mock surprise.

"Saucy, Fray!"

"Oh I forgot; you think I'm still in middle-school."

"I said you were the size of one," he corrected. "Never said you had the mind of one."

She pursed her lips, trying and failing not to feel stung by this conversation again.

"Just for future reference, no woman wants to hear she has the body of a twelve-year-old boy."

His eyes darkened slightly as his eyes raked from her feet to her braid.

"I definitely never said that, either," he said, voice husky, and the words went right to her core. For an absurd moment she considered pushing him up against the wall and kissing him just to see what he would do, but when she remembered Isabelle, she stayed where she was, even looking away a little.

"So," he said when they emerged onto the street. It was unseasonably warm for early October, and the sun felt good on Clary's face. "What's a Saturday in the life for Clarissa Fray?"

"I'm going to the studio now to work on a drawing for my still life class," Clary said, feeling unenthused about the prospect, mostly because drawing still lifes were tedious, but also because it meant their time together was drawing to a close.

"You're a studio major," he observed. "I should have guessed; you have the best doodles."

"Thanks."

"So you're you're just going to locked yourself in your studio all weekend?" Jace pressed. "Leonardo would be proud. Dr. Leonard, too, I imagine."

She smiled, thinking of his impression of their tired old professor and fighting not to laugh.

"No, tonight I'm going to a party down in the Financial District; some rich guy my roommate knows."

"Sounds very exclusive," he said.

She bit her lip, at war with herself until—

"You wouldn't want to come, would you?" she blurted.

"What?" he said, seeming confused and making her feel stupid for asking.

"I mean, you could invite your girlfriend, too. Maia said the more the merrier."

Now he looked doubly confused.

"My girlfriend?"

"Yeah," she said, trying to sound nonchalant and only managing to sound breathy instead. "Isabelle?"

At this his expression changed, and he laughed.

"Oh Jesus, she is not my girlfriend."

Clary ignored how buoyant the admission made her feel.

"A likely story," she said, and he grinned.

"No, really; her parents adopted me when I was ten. I grew up with her and her brothers, so she's practically my little sister. Besides, I would never go for a girl like Iz; I love her, but she's vain and annoying."

"Said the black pot to the kettle," Clary teased, feeling a little giddy now.

"Ouch!" he said in mock pain. "I'm not annoying!"

"Not going to defend against being vain, though, I see."

He shrugged, giving her an arrogant but frustratingly handsome smile.

"I prefer the term 'dangerously self-assured'."

"I see," she said, and he leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Tell me you don't love it and maybe I'll stop."

She fought down a pleasurable shudder before pushing him away.

"Is that a yes to the party?"

"Depends. Would you like me to go?"

"Would I have invited you if I didn't?"

He smiled the way a chess player did at meeting a fairly matched opponent.

"That wasn't an answer, Fray."

He was leaning down to catch her gaze, and when she turned to look at him, his eyes flicked to her lips, making her throat suddenly dry.

"Yes," she breathed, watching his eyes flick down again and wishing despite everything that he'd kiss her right here in the street. "I would."

"Then I wouldn't dream of being elsewhere," he said in a voice that was a mixture of playful and seductive.

"Great," she said, fishing in her bag for her phone to hide her flush. "I'll text yo—"

He was already tugging the phone from her hands and entering his number, though his eyes had yet to leave her face.

"Just send me your address and I'll meet you at your place; it's really not safe for a little thing like you to be riding the train downtown at night."

He handed her phone back, smirking in self-satisfaction.

"Thanks Dad," she managed to snipe, and he raised his eyebrows before winking.

"Kinky. See you tonight, Fray."

He put on his sunglasses before waving casually and striding up the street.

Previous Chapter

[irinapaleolog]

How the Devil Became a Dreamboat: Exploring the Byronic Hero with Kylo Ren

As it turns out, the popular problematic favorite and the OG problematic favorite are basically the same person.

Welcome to Elements of Story, a biweekly column about narrative tropes, what they mean, and why they just won’t go away.

For the inaugural installment of Elements of Story, and just in time for Valentine’s day, I’m going to dissect an archetype that has been causing a stir and setting hearts aflutter for centuries: the Byronic hero. 

Definitions of the Byronic hero vary by source, but the basic gist is that he’s an arrogant yet emotionally sensitive rebel who rages against societal norms, is usually haunted by a dark and mysterious past, and has been a staple of romantic storylines for hundreds of years. You could literally write a book about the history of the Byronic Hero—indeed, multiple people already have—so for the sake of concision and also my continued sanity, we’re going to investigate the Byronic hero through the specific example of one of his most recent appearances: Kylo Ren (Adam Driver). 

Ever since The Force Awakens first premiered, Darth Vader’s grandson and #1 fan has been a point of contention within the Star Wars fandom, particularly with regards to his dynamic with protagonist Rey (Daisy Ridley). While things have calmed down somewhat following the underwhelming finale that was The Rise of Skywalker, if you want to start a fight online about a galaxy far, far away, mention “Reylo” and see what happens. 

One of the most genuinely befuddling things about the discourse surrounding Reylo is the frequently held opinion that its allure is anyway inexplicable or unforeseeable. Similarly, the common, lazy narrative that its popularity can be explained away as Adam Driver’s thirst-club projecting their desire onto the Star Wars universe reeks of ignorance. Whether borne of conscious intent or sheer coincidence, Kylo Ren is a villain who also fits a centuries-old romantic archetype like a glove in ways that are hinted towards in The Force Awakens and laid increasingly bare in each subsequent installment. That some viewers picked up on the Byronic subtext early while others did not simply speaks to the variance in media consumption habits and tastes between audience members. If you’re familiar with an archetype, you’re going to spot its likeness, and view said likeness through the lens of the implications baked in with that lineage. If you’re not, you won’t. 

So, who is this Byronic Hero guy, anyway? Well, the tl;dr version is that he’s basically Satan and his origins predate Lord Byron by at least a few hundred years. 

In truth, the Byronic Hero is so old that tracing his origins gets quite speculative. There’s not a singular definitive answer so much as a collection of theories. To give a relatively cohesive explanation of who this guy is and how he got here without writing a novel, I’m going to things down into two key questions: 

What makes the Byronic hero satanic?

How did Satan become romanticized? 

To address the first question, let’s start by talking about the Devil. I’m not going to say that John Milton was the first storyteller to make Satan cool, but he sure did make such a characterization mainstream with Paradise Lost. The most beautiful of God’s angels, Lucifer chafes at God’s omnipotence, convinces a number of his brethren to join him in a rebellion that ultimately fails, is banished to Hell and eternally damned, but stubbornly stands by his choices because, “better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven.” Milton’s Satan was, to use modern parlance, a beautiful trash fire—a handsome, passionate dreamer whose quick-tempered fervor proves self-destructive in spite of his considerable intellect.  He is, in other words, smart enough to know that his hubris will be his downfall, but too in thrall to his passions for that knowledge to save himself from such a fate. He is a tragic hero as defined by Aristotle, an inherently sympathetic figure not as much in spite of his flaws as because of them. 

not as much in spite of his flaws as because of them. 

Let’s stop for a second so I can convince you Kylo Ren fits this pattern, in case you aren’t convinced already. With his journey from Ben “too much Vader in him” Solo to Kylo Ren, his rejection of his heritage and violent rebellion against Luke Skywalker, he follows the same basic trajectory of Milton’s Lucifer. And as far as personality is concerned, Ben didn’t gel well with the “there is no passion” Jedi code, and unlike Anakin Skywalker, it didn’t even take the development of a particular relationship for things to reach a breaking point. 

Now, as far as how Satan became a romantic figure, we need to make a stopover with the Romantics because the journey from Romantic to romantic is really just semantics. Romanticism was a prominent intellectual and artistic movement in Western culture that took place in the late 18th and 19th centuries and encompassed everything from literature and painting to architecture and music. It emphasized emotion, spontaneity, irrationality, and the individual with a particular focus on subjectivity, and is generally regarded as a reactionary movement—a rebuttal against the rationalism that defined the Enlightenment.

Romantics loved Milton’s Satan. “My favorite hero, Milton’s Satan,” Robert Burns gushed, lauding Satan’s “intrepid, unyielding independence,” “desperate daring,” and “noble defiance of hardship.” That Byron, one of his contemporaries, would channel his admiration for the same figure into a series of mercurial protagonists that would codify an archetype is hardly surprising. While crediting Byron with inventing the Byronic hero is a significant stretch considering the archetype is really just Satan rebranded, there is one key component of this character that Byron did add to the equation, and that is a particular kind of longing that a number of commentators have likened to homesickness. “Love is homesickness,” Sigmund Freud wrote in his seminal essay on the Uncanny. In terms of understanding the human mind, Freud is one small step above total quack, but as far as narrative theory is concerned he made some compelling arguments, this being one of them. As Deborah Lutz says in her essay “Love as Homesickness: Longing for a Transcendental Home in Byron and the Dangerous Lover Narrative,” “the Byronic hero often[…] is a criminal, an outlaw who is not only self-exiled, but actively, hatefully, works against society as a murderous pirate,” yet also often feels, “pains of remorse, not only for his crime but also for his self-inflicted homelessness.” Kylo Ren, with his laments of “I’m being torn apart,” and “let the past die, kill it if you have to” rhetoric interspersed with explosive bouts of self-loathing, could not be more emblematic of this facet of the Byronic hero if he tried. 

All of this helps explain what makes this archetype emotionally engaging, but not how “self-hating emotional clusterfuck” became sexy. In order to get to the bottom of that, we actually need to go back quite a bit. In Western culture, sexuality, death, and evil have been birds of a feather since the nascence of Christianity, which took vague correlations between these concepts already present in several Greek mythological figures and ran with them. While the Devil is often depicted as a hideous beast, the concept that he might also take the form of a man—specifically, an attractive one—dates back centuries (Lucifer was the prettiest, remember), and is apparent in a number of surviving records of witch trial confessions detailing demonic encounters. But taking on a handsome face is not the only attribute frequently bestowed upon Satan and his kin. As Toni Reed writes in her book Demon Lovers and their Victims in British Fiction, “identifying Satan and other demons with sexuality, especially with huge phalluses, may well trace back to Greek mythology.”

That’s right. Satan has serious BDE. Do with that information what you will.

It’s worth noting that the Byronic hero is ultimately a beloved romantic fantasy not because it represents something many people want in real life, but precisely the opposite, much like0 how enjoying seeing the lions at the zoo doesn’t mean you want one in your house. He’s a darkly tempting, narratively intriguing prospect that is enjoyable to experience vicariously through fiction, a Pandora’s box that can be opened and then closed again without repercussion. Times and tastes change and the Byronic hero evolves to suit them—devil, tempestuous gentleman, wannabe Sith—but his defining characteristics and their guilty pleasure appeal are eternal.

[6ix-dragons]

Fairy Tail Fan Impressions (FTFI): Chapter 538

(Be aware; spoilers for the most recent FT chapters can be found below!)

“OH MY GOD! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S TRUE! HE SUDDENLY DISAPPEARED LIKE THAT!”

Me: I know, right?!

“I feel bad for the others...especially for Lucy and Happy, too!”

Me: Yeah, well...surely, things can’t get any worse than this.

“Ohhh, I’m not prepared for what’s next!”

Me: I mean, it’s not like Acnologia’s gonna come back, and wreck some stuff—

“.....”

Me: (blinks) Uhhh...hello? (looks around) Where’d ya go? (a pause) I swear—you were here, a second ago!

If there was a reaction that I would usually use (from my days watching The Creatures on YT) for this chapter, it would be: “damn, dude”! After the major contentions of the fandom, that were the last two chapters... we finally get treated to a whole new chapter—in which I will say, is quite an interesting one. Well, an emotional one, too.

Let’s get it started, shall we?

So, the chapter picks up from where we last saw Natsu, after he had defeated Zeref. Before we can even get to see our favourite pink-haired dragon-slayer, we see that Lucy is still working on the Book of E.N.D., which is still in her possession. Accompanied with Gray and Happy, she continues to re-write everything there is about him, on that book. In fact, she states that she’s “written down all the experiences he shared together”, with her. By doing so, she’s either: a) saving Natsu, or b) preventing him from transforming into his demon form. And, as I get to that part, later...it was seemingly all for naught.

As she does, however, she finds herself struggling against the powers of the book that have taken influence over her. Fortunately (and, rather, conveniently), she happens to be situated beside an ice mage, who also happens to have demon-slaying abilities. Gray notices that she’s on the brink of collapse, and manages to catch her from falling to the ground. Sensing a demonic presence affecting her, he finally manages to put his new potential, to some considerable use (if not for Mashima’s quality of writing)—and that’s to free her, from the book’s influence. 

Now, there’s quite a problem with that. If you recall back to when Lucy started to rewrite the contents of the book inside, after being in possession of it, you’ve already known that Natsu’s life is no longer linked to Zeref (who was originally the possessor and writer of said book). His life, instead, is linked to Lucy, through the book. Without any links through the source, which is the book itself, Natsu would have a nigh-probable chance of not living at all. So, when Gray managed to free her from the influence of the book, he also ended up breaking the link between her, and the book! In fact, even Happy himself already knows this, too! And, what do you know? The Book of E.N.D. disappears without a trace!

However, before I can talk about what happens with them, after that...I want to take this part of my post, to talk about how Mashima addresses Jellal and Erza. Yes, while the situation surrounding Natsu and the other three is still going on, we get to see a moment between those two. They’re still with all the other people who had just fought Acnologia moments ago, like Wendy, and the remaining Blue Pegasus members. All of them are still trying to recover from their encounter with the villainous dragon-slayer himself—which ended with Ichiya, Anna, and him, into the Timelapse. 

I actually enjoyed the moment that the both of them shared together, after what they had just gone through. Even though Jellal’s antics of sacrificing himself—in the notion that he must redeem for his past trangressions—are a little too much for me...at least I was satisfied with the way he realizes about them, in this chapter. I think he’s finally going to remember about how he has to keep on living, in order to redeem himself. I mean, Erza already has brought that message to him, heavily-handed, by herself! What more can be asked for him, by this point?

Anyway, back to where Lucy and the other two are. I mentioned above, about the Book of E.N.D. disappeaing, right after the link between it and her was broken. Not before long, we finally get to see Natsu, still battle-scarred from his fight with Zeref. It’s a moment that I just like, when they’re all finally reunited with each other. I mean, it all gets light-hearted from there, like all those moments from earlier in the story. Man, don’t you just love them?

So, they’re all talking to each other about what was going on beforehand, in which Natsu shares the news that Mavis has passed on, for real. Despite this, ‘though, they’re still grateful to have each other making it through. I even liked that Gray wanted to apologize to Juvia, for what went down between them, and the ensuing fallout from that. Also, Happy still remembers about what Natsu and him were going to do, when the war was going to be over. With all this light-hearted talk, amongst the jubilation of all involved, you would’ve thought things would have wrapped-up, in the typical way of (almost) every single story arc, right? I mean, all of them would carry on with their lives, just right after this, am I right?

Well, not really...and, it’s all because that next part happened!

While all of their eyes are turned away from Natsu (I mean, come on—at least one of you should have kept check on him!), Happy brings up the whole thing about what Natsu and him plan to do, which is something I already mentioned above...before he puts it as a question towards his long-time, pink-haired companion. 

And then, that’s where all the angst and tears begin. 

As they all turn their focus back towards Natsu, he suddenly disappears out of plain sight, nowhere to be found! In fact, one of the last times they all saw Natsu, before he disappeared, was when he gave a great big smile to them. I mean, I really felt something about that, from what I was seeing.

From then on...it doesn’t take long, before Lucy, Gray, and Happy become greatly devastated over his sudden disappearance. Lucy, especially, since she was the one who tried to save Natsu herself. She believed that he wouldn’t be up and away like that! 

You know, there have been more than a handful of moments in the entire story that have moved me quite emotionally. It was those moments, such as when Gray’s tragic past was explained. There was another one, this time with Erza’s background. And then some, with Igneel dying right before Natsu’s eyes. But those moments, all of those moments—including the ones aforementioned...they have nothing compared to the moments that mainly involve Natsu and Lucy. 

Lucy calling/crying out his name, in times of desperation and sorrow, just happens to get me, each time it comes up. I could faintly remember that time, when Natsu got caught up in the Tower of Heaven’s destruction, and she was the one who cried out his name. It just feels chilling to hear it, let alone, imagine it. And, to me, it’s rather significant, because those two have cared so much for each other. I mean, both of them have been through quite a lot, ever since they first met. I think that, after what they’ve been through, recently...she needs him more than ever. 

I have to admit that, with this one scene in this chapter, it kinda got me a little bit teary-eyed, you know? (takes a deep sigh, and sniffles) Yeah...

Oh, and after that scene happened, we get a good look at Wendy. She’s...sullen, from the looks of it. She has a forlorn facial expression, too. It’s all pretty much, because she has seemingly lost her mentor, who got caught up in the Timelapse. But, that’s not all.

As she slowly takes a look at the sky, she could notice that something’s not right about it. I mean, that’s no moon—it’s a tear in the sky! A large, dark ripple opening up, rather. Aaand, then, we end the chapter on that suspenseful note!

Okay, so...here are the Questions of the Chapter: How do you think Natsu might return to the story? And...what do you think that tear in the sky could be about? 

To me, for the first one, I’m not entirely convinced that Natsu is a goner for real. I have a feeling he might return in some form, somehow. I mean, consider what Mashima did, in his previous work. Those of you who had read Rave Master, already knew what happened to Haru, the major protagonist of that story. He was thought to be killed-off at some point, in the story’s conclusion, but he ends up living in the end, anyway. I have a growing suspicion that the same thing could happen to Natsu, in the remaining final chapters of this story. It would be really surprising if he doesn’t come back, for those concluding chapters. 

For the second one, I’ve heard from a lot of folks, who say that Acnologia might be coming back from being in the Timelapse. Then, there are some, who say that Anna and Ichiya may be the only ones to return. And then, there’s a smaller portion who say that all three of them may come back. I’ve also heard from a few people, who say that it might be Ankhseram who may be coming in from there. Finally, there are a few of those who say that, instead of any of the above making an appearance from there...it may as well be some sort of black hole that destroys the entire world!

If I had to choose one that I think is more convincing, it would have to be the first answer. I mean, it’s possible that Acnologia could return from the Timelapse, given how powerful he is (and, I personally doubt that he can ever be stopped EASILY, by a ship that’s nearly about his size!). This, I believe, also sets up the potential for a final fight (the “final boss” battle, if you will) between him, and the surviving Dragon Slayers. Despite the small number of chapters remaining, I think something like this, would still be do-able. I would also hypothesize that Natsu may play a role in this, as well, should it happen. 

It would be rather disappointing if Ichiya and Anna are the only ones to return, but I would be okay, if both did return along with Acnologia. As for Ankhseram, well...I don’t expect him to really make an appearance, if I were to take Mashima’s words for granted. He mentioned somewhere that Ankhseram would not be an actual character in the story, and would not play any more major roles in it. I would be really surprised, however, if this deity seriously appears at this point in the story. Finally, as for that very last answer, I don’t really think that’s going to happen at all. But, with the next chapter being titled “World Collapse” (or “World Destruction”, rather), anything’s possible! 

Alright...what do I think about this chapter, overall? Well, I thought it was a good chapter. Okay, maybe not good enough to overcome the disappointment of the previous two chapters, but certainly enough to make things a bit interesting. We got a Jerza moment—and a hint of Gruvia, too. Lucy crying out his name, after he disappeared without a trace...well...as I mentioned above, that kind of moment truly got me there. And then, there’s that mystery of what beholds in that tear in the sky. That needs to be answered in the next chapter.

Okay, so that is it, for this post. I want to thank all those who have read this, from the top. Click like, if you like this post; follow my blog, if you like it, too; reblog this to all of your friends...and...please come back, Natsu! Everybody in the guild needs you! Gray needs you! Happy needs you! Heck, even Lucy really needs you! Just come back, Natsu—please! This whole story won’t be the same, without your...abilities...that lack the power scaling and limitations!