#this fandom is making me pick up all my hobbies again after a year of burnout and i am so thankful

[quick-catton]

💌 hiiii felix catton i'm free on february 14th jsyk if you're not busy on february 14th i'm also not busy on february 14th ah hah ha ���

[neil-gaiman]

Hi Neil,

Regardless of if you ever see this I’ll be happy the sentiment was put there.

As I got into adulthood I lost touch with many of my interests and hobbies. Things like study and work seemed to take over my life and I forgot about many of the things I enjoyed that kept me sane as a child.

But after watching and reading Good Omens I’ve done 4 things:

1. Picked up the piano again after 10 years not playing just so I could learn the theme song. I’ve been at it for months and I’m usually terrible at sticking to things but I’ve promised a friend we are going to do a duet with them playing the kazoo so I have to now obviously

2. I started to draw again on a regular basis

3. I started to write again for the first time since I was a kid and found I actually have quite a passion for it. I’d like to publish at least one book some day with my own illustrations

4. I retuned to tumblr and was pleasantly surprised to find such a wonderful fandom who all love this story as much as I do. And I think it’s wonderful you are also here to watch us all adore it. And so that we can send our appreciation back to you and everyone else involved in making it come to life.

The love and care you and Terry have put into it is so clear. This story and seeing how you interact with the fandom reminded me of how important story telling and creation is to the world. And its lead me back to many things I’d thought I had lost. So thanks to you and every other creative out there, it’s easy to get stuck in our bubble and think what we’re putting out there doesn’t matter. But if you or Terry had given in to that kind of thinking we wouldn’t have Good omens! And that’s something I like to think about when I doubt what I make.

That makes me very happy.

[idolomantises]

I haven't drawn Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss redesigns since last year and the fandom still regularly tags me/picks fights with me over them. I did not think a couple drawings would live in people's heads so rent free.

Like you can go find my redesigns on twitter, they're still very public. I just label them as "Angel Dust redesign" or "Alastor redesign". The only time I think I explicitly called a design bad was when I said I found Beelzebub's design atrocious. Which it is. It's an overdesigned mess that doesn't convey the sin at all, I'm allowed to say I don't like it. And even still, when I posted the art, I still labeled it as "Beelzebub redesign".

I'm not going to forget when you fans regularly stalked my account and PATREON just to figure out when I would upload the redesigns. You think I forgot about when I posted my Angel Dust redesign which was just meant to improve my old design and you people harassed me for days? You accused me of "baiting" fans because you are so self-obsessed you think everything I do is explicitly to upset you. You people misgendered me, told me to kill myself, called me a fucking cockroach and flat out threatened to assault me multiple times. Sure I was harsh about my critiques, but I didn't resort to homophobic and transphobic comments like you people did with my Angel Dust redesign because for some unexplained reason you diehard fans who have been following this project for 10 years didn't know that he's meant to be a drag queen. When I did a quick redesign of Katie Killjoy on my personal tumblr, guess what? You people flipped the fuck out, AGAIN.

I can't even talk about my own religion without you sad, paranoid losers thinking I'm trashtalking hazbin hotel. You made up some rumor that I block all Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss fans (despite being mutuals/friends with people who are fans of the shows or actually work on them) just so you could justify harassing me even more. You told me for years that I should wait until the Hazbin series dropped to get my full thoughts out and when it did you people still freaked out and berated me.

Even when I talked about my situation after posting my Angel Dust redesign, instead of apologizing, fans claimed I planned this hostile reaction to begin with to make the fandom look bad. That I was "pulling a transphobia card" for sympathy. I didn't do shit. You people have gotten more aggressive about your hate towards me because people finally saw how incredibly inappropriate and vile you people act over a midtier cartoon written by someone who has so many allegations of bullying, transphobia, racism and workplace abuse that it's become harder and harder for you to deny, so you take out your unrepressed anger on me.

I know the only reason you people target me is because I'm a big artist who doesn't kiss Viv's ass. You want me to be a diehard fan of hers like every other big artist you people bully into worshipping Viv and her show and I won't do it. So you just obsessively stalk and monitor my account and accuse every little thing I do as a spiteful attack so you can justify your little harassment campaigns again. It's pathetic.

Seek help, find a hobby, stop obsessing over people who don't like the same thing as you. It's getting sad.

[accio-victuuri]

(13) Fake Rumors - from the vault

I have been going through some old rumors from the fake house & decided to share some. whether these may be new to you or not, but i hope you still enjoy them as much as I did looking back. I feel like in the fandom, we’ve only ever been active when it comes to lrlg and the 49 fakes. the rest of the information that fall in between aren’t as talked about or depends on the topic. as with all other bjyx material, i want a place to store some parts of it. 🤍

these are sort of random, the ones that I had saved and found again. treat it all as fiction.

( someone please make an AU fic or edit for this xz and wyb. there is a story here. look at them. 😍😍😍 )

i have traveled a long way, you have dreamed a long time. many lonely nights drift like fallen leaves but it always finds a way….🍃🍂

(1) this one was posted for the new year 🎉

XZ: Get me a courier later

🧔‍♂️:Okay

====

🧔‍♂️:What is it? It’s so light

XZ: made-up parts, Legos.

*XZ talking to a staff so he can send out some lego parts. I think it’s light because what he is sending are “parts” that WYB is missing and he found them for him. I truly like the idea of XZ spoiling WYB when it comes to his hobbies and him being invested in it too even if he isn’t necessarily a fan too. true love! and well, reminded me of the rumored lego set gift during the early days of cql filming.

(2) have you eaten?

About the backstage live broadcast of a recent event on the same stage

WYB:Have you eaten yet?

XZ: *shakes head*

WYB: Come have dinner with me later

XZ: Who else? (Looking over it, I don’t know what I’m looking for)

WYB: Stop looking for it. I’ll send it to you next time.

Supplement: Teacher W watched Teacher X take off his makeup before leaving together.

*The usual WYB making sure that XZ eats and him waiting for his gege so they can eat with each other. Even after the CQL filming, as long as they are at the same event they will try and be together. Tho instances of that have been so rare to 0 nowadays because of the amount of eyes on them.

(3) the forbidden book lol

The crew's study period

WYB: Where is the erotic book? I want to read it.

XZ: Suddenly got up and left.

*This is one of my faves even if it’s so short! Library Pavilion behind the scenes & rumors is the gift that keeps on giving. I wouldn’t put it pass WYB to troll ZZ with this.

Here’s a GIF for you to bring you back to that time🤍

(4) call me maybe? 📱

There was a period last year where everyone had to learn rap, usually🐂 learned the fastest but he was absent-minded that time🐂 was looking at us eating delicious food while resting, it seems that he is thinking his rap, he seemed to be even more tired. At this time, staff handed over the phone and he left immediately to pick it up.

He called him, and when he came back he didn't have any special expression, but he felt refreshed. 

(5) praising

WYB: I really like to be praised by everyone and feel "wow" from everyone, so every time Da Zhen's family praises me crazily, I will secretly write it down and send it to him.

XZ: I am also a part-time praise captain. Every time I praise,None of them are the same.He can often keep up with the facts.

WYB: I don’t understand a lot of Internet slang.

XZ: I always hurt him by saying, "No, you don't even know this joke, so WYB doesn't go online?" Just. very good. Laughing, every time I feel hurt, I secretly say "He is better than me. I'm young, I know everything." What kind of tone is this? One time during a video, XZ sang "Darling, come and save me." Seeing WYB's ears slowly become red and coughed. Who can tell me what’s going on with these lyrics?

(6) baking shenanigans

The puff pastry made by XZ is very delicious, WYB will also work with XZ to help when he has time. He’s busy getting started, and they will also do some weird things. If there is a strange taste, try it with the people around you.

Once WYB squeezed minced garlic into the pastry and mixed chili powder, but forgot to mark it, XZ ate it, pinched the back of the neck and squeezed the flesh of the face "Teacher Trained WYB”

*IM CACKLING AT THIS OMG WYB 😂😂😂 what flavor of pastry is that????

(7) another one about eating

Aling period

WYB: Why are you back?

XZ: Come back for dinner, there will be a show in the afternoon

WYB: Aren’t you going to eat with your friends?

XZ: I didn’t agree when someone wanted to invite me, it was too stupid.

WYB: xls It’s so difficult to eat normally today

XZ: You haven’t eaten it, have you?

WYB: Nope. I just thought you were back.

(8) checking the weather

XZ: “The weather doesn’t look like it’s going to rain...(Look 📱)

👤: "It should be sunny..."

XZ: “I just saw📱the weather forecast showed it’s going to rain soon.

👤: How is that possible? It’s obviously sunny. "(春📱)

XZ: "Huh?" (👤♥Two people facing each other📱)

XZ: Overcast to light rain to moderate rain.

👤: What you are looking at is the weather

XZ: Oh my God, so embarrassing...

XZ forgot to switch cities. no one will know the city WYB was in that day if I don’t tell you.

*This one hits different cause for this rumor, they are in different cities but in the same country. Lately, there are times that they are in diff countries so do they look at the weather their too? 🥹🥹🥹

I can’t relate to their obsession with the weather, but if that gives them a sense of connection to each other then it’s fine.

(9) raining

💚Supplement: It’s when the temperature gradually rises. At that time, it rained in June.

💚Holding an umbrella💚❤️talking all the way

❤️Start standing on the right side of 💚

💚Hold the umbrella and tilt it in the direction of ❤️

❤️Thick clothes💚Left half of light-colored thin clothes

The edges are wet and very transparent.

❤️Just keep pushing the umbrella in the direction of 💚

I wanted to block 💚 a little more, but found it was fine.

After seeing the effect, I found an opportunity to move it to the left side of 💚

Then 💚 the right half also got wet

Both centered and symmetrical….…..

(10) them and their parents.

Regarding their parents, I currently know the older one’s mom and dad can also surf the internet, and talk about about their CP and their impression of WYB is good. But his mother actually really wants to have a grandchild. His father is very indifferent when the older one comes home. I'm sure his mother won't be able to bear it. She asked him bluntly, the older ones always focus on work to fool her in the past. In July this year not only did he tell the truth to his family but took the younger one back with him.

It’s time for dinner at home, and the younger one is very nervous. He is afraid that the family will think he is not good enough. He bought a lot of things and piled them up for backup. He sprayed perfume and dressed properly and pretended. The older one made him want to laugh when he looks at him, just fool around. The younger one calls him a big bastard.

The mother on the table was holding jianguo and said she could only count on her to give birth to a litter of grandsons.

* I know that talk about their parents is sensitive and would always lead to more discussion, but again, treat this as fiction. and tbh, who could resist WYB as a son in law??? It I had a son and he brings home WYB as a boyfriend I will be very happy. I also feel soft that XZ is trying to tease and make WYB laugh.

(11)

What happened last year

WYB: Is it delicious?

XZ: (nodding while eating) Yeah, it’s quite delicious.

WYB: What about others?

XZ: Wait a minute...Wow, I just ate that, this one has no taste.

WYB: Is it too spicy?

XZ: It’s okay, but my tongue is numb and I can’t taste other flavors.

WYB: Wait a minute, drink some water. Is it really that spicy?

XZ: Try it yourself. You didn't keep it for yourself? Wasn't it sent from you?

WYB: I didn't take it apart. Bring it to me.

Then XZ really ate so much that he left two packets and took them back to WYB.

(You send it to me and I will bring it back to you. What kind of trick is this?)

What happened this year

XZ: It’s been too cold these two days.

👤: Southern kids.

XZ: :Then northerners also feel cold. Cold is cold.

(Okay, I know you have northerners in your family, next one)

👤When teasing XZ and WYB, XZ’s response was, “Hahaha” and send out red envelopes. As expected of Boss XZ.

I saw other people's submissions and came to do some post-sale service. I heard that XZ sang to put WYB to sleep. I know that there is indeed mmxhn, and there is a six-character song related to snow. (There are probably others somewhere that I don’t know about)

(12) like a fairy

XXX was wearing Iwj's white clothes for the first time

XX: Fairy, descended to earth to overcome the tribulation

XXX: Isn’t fairy a dog? You have so much information but no good words.

XX: Compliment you for being good-looking and handsome.wls, wow, so handsome!

XXX: xls looks better than me, our xls is so beautiful, ancestor of Yiling

XX: Stop, stop, it’s so shameful

*My favorite kind of rumor is when WYB goes gremlin on XZ! 😂😂😂😂

(13) cravings

WYB has been craving for "cai cai rice" recently, XZ told him many times that spring is not so good to have wild vegetables, even if they are cooked. WYB said he doesn’t care about wild vegetables he just wants to eat the vegetable rice cooked by XZ, but I don’t have that. It smells good, I just want to eat it.

In the end, he still didn’t get the cabbage meal, but freshly baked dumplings. WYB got a bargain and acted nice, he was acting coquettishly while eating.

* Oh to be WYB and have someone like XZ cook for youuuu 😍😍😍😍

-END.

P.S : this ye mi and xiao zhan AU pairing is living in my mind rent free. 🥵🥵🥵

[victorspindrop]

OG HOA Characters and what their Major would be in College

Side note; once again hello I am alive. Currently in my last year of college so I have been dedicating majority of my time to my studies. I still have ideas and love for this account I am just not really consistent so my apologies. With school being my priority right now, it has got me thinking about what each of the characters major would be if they ended up going to university. Hope you all enjoy <3

Nina

I think we as a fandom have collectively decided Nina would be maybe a journalism major or a history major, and honestly I think that is very accurate!

Personally, I can see her being a History major with a Journalism minor

I mean especially from all her sibuna escapades, she loved learning the history of the house and all that was in it

I like to think she carried that love with her beyond Anubis. Maybe it makes her feel at home in a way (was Anubis traumatic? yes. but it was home <3)

I think writing the play back in S1, although stressful during the time due to a centuries old scavenger hunt, I think maybe that ignited a love of writing in her and she ended up doing it as a hobby for a while

I mean, she had a diary so obviously writing of some sorts seemed to be therapeutic for her (apparently to therapeutic in S3 smh) IM SORRY BAD JOKE BAD JOKE

Amber

Amber OBVIOUSLY went into something to do with fashion ; I mean she left in S3 to go to a fashion school so it checks out, and she's Amber so DUH

Majoring in Fashion Design, holding her own little runways during the school year

Maybe even having a clothing sale on campus at some point in the year

EVERYONE wants to get their hands on an Amber original

If she didn't go in fashion design I could also see her being a business major

Amber is our OG #GirlBoss so I can see her going into this major with the intents of learning the odds and ins of running a business

I think shed still be selling some sort of fashion or accessory but she would just be studying the principles of running a business.

She gives very Elle Woods "I have a 4.0 average!" "Yeah in fashion merchandising..."

Fabian

Fabian definitely gives History major to me as well (Fabina is the cutest couple in the history department)

Him and Nina compare notes <3

He was always a studious guy so it makes sense!

I can see him potentially becoming a Museum Curator (Him and the Sibuna gang found half of the relics in the museum)

Fabian is also our music guy, I will never forgive the writers for not putting in more clips of Fabian and his guitar UGHHH

I could see him picking up a Music minor just as a backup (more importantly for fun)

He really enjoys his History of Music class because its literally his two favorite subjects TOGETHER

HIs professors are very impressed with his knowledge of ancient Egyptian mythology (little do they know...)

Patricia

Honestly Patricia is hard for me to figure out

I think she’d maybe take a gap year or something after Anubis or maybe travel the USA and hang with Eddie maybe?

Maybe she would go into criminology?

Idk maybe being kidnapped and seeing an unjust system (the police being a part of Victors life cult) she’d want to be in the system herself because “at least i’ll be doing what’s right even if everyone else isn’t”

I think also having no one to listen and help her in S1 may fuel this as well.

Or hell, maybe she’d major in law

then she’d get to prosecute all the shitty people doing shitty things

Alfie

literally had to consult the discord to figure out stuff for this mf

I now know technically he probs went for business cause of his dad, BOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK THAT IDEA LET MY BOY BE HAPPY

Some sort of art major

I like to think he made most of his costumes so maybe something within theater costuming

or hell even theater we know he would do so good

He loves putting on shows and making people laugh, it what he LIVES for

Maybe he goes on to have some sort of comedy special

Also idea from the HOA discord im in, him and Jerome def went to the same college and were roommates (oh my god they were roommates)

Jerome

this bitch went into business or something for sure

I will never forget Jerome basically have a homework selling SIDE HUSTLE in S1

(and Fabian threatening to expose him)

Finds some sort of niche that wouldn't be illegal and expands on it

actually does pretty well, he has experience per say so

Since Alfie did art as a major, Jerome lets him take home his business textbooks so his dad doesn't find out he isn't majoring in business (i love these two dumbasses so much guys i love friendship ugh)

Mick

Sports medicine probably

you guys know mick is like a thumb to me character-wise love him and dont at the same time

Mara

MY GIRL WENT INTO PSYCHOLOGY

you guys can trust me on this, I am literally getting my bachelors in psychology

tbh she just LOOKS like I would see her in one of my psych classes

She was trying (for a while) to help calm Patricia and talk her through her worries early on in S1 , I think its just in her nature to want to help others

She went as far as cheating on a test to help someone, girl goes the extra mile...even if the mile was wrong

Also beginning S1 when Amber first voices her concerns about Mick not loving her anymore Mara is literally the first one to be like "No that's not true!"

I feel like she would just go the cognitive therapist route (basically your average sit down talk to therapist)

She might go into some of the more neuroscience sides of psychology since she was so studious and SO GOOD at science and stuff (our "biology babe")

Joy

journalism with a communication minor for sure

she ran that school newspaper like it was the navy

I like to think she would go on to be apart of the newspaper/news group of her college

Maybe she goes on to be a reporter or something

or maybe she has a column in the news or maybe even works for a magazine company

[radioactive-dazey]

My thoughts on Thomas Sanders (criticism but more of me complaining)

Something I don't see people talk about nearly enough (read: not at all) is the fact that, we are still analyzing videos that came out 4+ years ago.

It's not the "analyzing old videos" that's the problem. It's the fact there hasn't been any new content since then. It really feels like (at least to me) the fandom (once again, could be just me) is desperately picking at episodes like POF or SVS for any scraps left behind.

I started one of my fics about a year after POF came out and I remember being nervous because "This takes place immediately after putting others first, this could become really dated really fast"

Turns out I had nothing to worry about.

Lack of plot relevant content is one thing. Everything else that has resurfaced rubs salt in the wound.

Oh, and now to address the fandom itself: some of yall have an insane perspective on everything. I'm all for trying to be objective about the criticism (bc lets be real, one or two things ive seen circulating makes me scratch my head,) but blatantly defending Thomas with "he doesn't owe you anything" is so fucking WILD to me.

He's a content creator. It's his job to make content. Ofc nobody expects him to pump it out like a factory machine, and there's mental health to consider, but it is still his job to make content.

I don't even know where this ideology came from. Who sent you all down that path. Was it Thomas complaining setting a boundary over someone demanding content?

For clarification I don't think anyone should be messaging Thomas to demand content but like... come on dude.

Scalding take, Thomas SHOULD thank us for supporting him.

If he's getting burned out from creating TSS content, we as his fandom are entitled to know instead of sitting and waiting. Did you guys know we are closer to the 10 year aniversarry than we are the 5 year one?

It all sucks horribly. I still want to support him. I still want to wait and see what he does next. I still love Sanders Sides and Cartoon Therapy and My Roommate is Hades. But I feel so hypocritical to still support and follow him when all this shit is piling up. I know nobody is forcing me to stick around, but without Sanders Sides, I have nothing going on in my life. This is my only community, and I somehow managed to tie it down with two of my only hobbies with it.

Does he know a chunk of the fandom is angry and now watching his every move? He should.

Edit: oh and I saw spoilers from the patreon of what the new ep is going to be. It's not worth the wait for me personally. Lowkey I think the premise alone is weak asf but I don't know the thing they're referencing super well. Doesn't add much to this post but I wanted to bitch about that too.

[honeyedboneset]

one x one rp search

hello! i'm boneset (or bone). thanks for stopping by my super-specific search thread! if interested, please leave a reply or dm me! 

a bit about myself: 

she/her. 

Late twenties

EST.

Currently: full time employee & grad student

i have a dog and a cat named after science fiction horror icons. 

I’ve been writing/roleplaying in some shape or form for 12+ years. 

A bit about how i write: 

The shorter the post, the faster i can write (esp with my schedule). Usually 500-1k now a days, give or take a little. 

I prioritize gelling with my partner than any kind of like…idk, anything about the writing itself. 

I’m super flexible with post rate but i will yap at you. 

This is a hobby. This is meant to be fun. I would like to have fun. 

I am terminally unserious (by choice). Canon plotlines and timelines are suggestions. Idc. the world is our playground. 

I only ever double. So i play a cc and oc and you play a cc and oc. Or two ocs. Whatever it works out to be, you know? 

Love ooc chatting, sharing memes, head canons, all that stupid stuff. I love making friends. My two best friends i made through roleplaying and now they’ve been stuck with me for around a decade each. 

m/f is preferred for my pairing. I’ve been around long enough a lot of m// and f// dynamics gives me hives. I’m flexible though. 

hard limits: be 18+ (21+ preferred) | will not write with people who identify as male (he/him) | incest | fetish stuff | abo | pwp | pedophilia | furries/beastiality | explicitly written sexual assault | abusive relationship dynamics between main characters | heavy substance abuse | main settings being medical | most highschool settings/underage characters | genuine love triangles or infidelity between main characters 

Fandoms (canon x oc): 

Marvel cinematic universe: 

Looking for: matt murdock, sam wilson

Can play: nearly anyone? Most experience with peter (parker), tony, bucky, loki, namor.

My hero academia: 

Looking for: takami keigo

Can play: anyone. Most experience with: katsuki, hitoshi, denki

Jujutsu kaisen: 

Looking for: nanami kento

Can play: anyone (are you picking up a trend). Most experience with megumi, satoru, toji

The last of us: 

Looking for: Tommy, m!oc

Can play: joel, ellie, ocs, anything else just ask? 

some vibes: FIX IT JESUS, protecting family, human enemies, natural threats, antagonistic towns, lost in the wild, weird periods of domestic easiness followed by hurt/comfort hell​

The walking dead: 

Looking for: glenn rhee, daryl dixon.

Can play: daryl, rick, shane, negan, beta, and many more??

​some vibes: people who knew each other prior to the zombies meeting each other again after, dead rising vibes, traveling through the wilderness, overgrown and rundown towns and cities, towns that have gone mad, human enemies, natural threats, fluff, megamalls, amusement parks, adventure, horror, fluff, uneasiness in the calm, found family, hesitant allies

Red Dead Redemption: 

Looking for: charles

Can play: john, arthur

​some vibes: railroad turmoil, dutch has lots of plans (very little outcomes), high society meets the old west, running from the law, causing problems, adventures in the big city, trying to leave old lives behind, forbidden love, enemies to lovers

Fandoms (and fandom inspired): 

Cowboys:

Inspired by: red dead redemption, yellowstone (i guess? I’ve only seen tiktok thirst reels), man from snowy river, outerrange. 

Thoughts: i love cowboys in whatever era honestly. I think the dying days of the old west is super cool and i think the whole setting is fun even if it’s more contemporary. I would love to mix some cowboys with some southwest gothic vibes, even. I also loved that outerrange was cowboys + space. Idk, i think there’s a lot to be done there. I have a few ocs for this world depending on time range. 

Zombies: 

Inspired by: the last of us, deadrising, twd, resident evil, days gone, etc

Thoughts: i just like the end of the world. Don’t know what that says about me, but i do. I’ve got a couple ocs here also that are pretty flexible plot wise. I really liked the ridiculousness of dead rising, the scale of things like tlou, and how green and wild stuff is. 

[narzissenkreuz-ordo]

i guess i need some. advice? encouragement? about some stuff thats been happening recently so suicide/violence cw under the cut

i won't go into detail but i had. a very huge emotional/physical/mental breakdown today. where i was just. basically screaming and howling about how suicidal ive been lately. I haven't said anything out loud/via text on the internet abt it because i know saying i want to kms so often is bad for my own well being and ultimately makes other uncomfortable as well

so yeah i've just been. holding all that in. i knew the thoughts were coming in and out the past few months but was just shrugging it off as just being stressed abt the nightmare year i had. but i really was just. lying to myself and others because i didnt want to worry anyone/didn't want to admit how horrible i was doing after a couple years of good progress. but as it stands things are heading into a really bad direction for me rn. its not normal to go to sleep suicidal and immediately be suicidal upon waking up.

I don't really know what i can really do harm reduction wise. i'm unable to have regular visits with a psychiatrist/therapist bc of availability issues + i tend to just. lie. because its easier to say im fine than it is to advocate for myself and get actual help. and even then medication will not save me and coping skills can only go so far if im so deep in it im unable to take care of myself/feed myself/clean myself/eat/etc so none of it is effective enough in the moment. i know it CAN be effective and some of the skills ive learned can help during situational issues but this is really deep rooted improperly treated mental illness and i need a stronger foundation to be able to use any of the skills

i use a means of self isolation to punish myself, because i'm so upset with myself for not being able to pick myself up on my own. people can say im not a burden over and over but theres always gonna be a catch in the end. i freak out because what if this is one of my last meltdowns before they decide enoughs enough and i just get abandoned. again.

I feel like maybe being so Online is making things worse?? but i don't know??? my concentration is completely gone even when trying to use dnd/closing discord completely and im just constantly refreshing social media every 10 seconds and just stew in the bad feelings.

I don't know if just. leaving the internet cold turkey for a bit would do more harm than good.....i dont want to be alone and caught up in my thoughts. but i have a hard time doing things in 'moderation' and don't know how to even begin to roll back my internet/screen time usage

fandom is fun and great. but i dont think i should be using video games as pure escapism or playing them 24/7. im already getting bored and unenthusiastic about the things i like because its ALL i do.... I want to have at least SOME time away from screens. i hate having the impulse the check social media or refresh even 30 seconds (im even doing it NOW) but i just dont know where to begin in cultivating non-screentime hobbies and have the ability to focus on things more long term without having than doing 1000 things all at once to keep myself busy. i play video games muted most of the time, have a yt video playing, sometimes i'll stop mid video game and pull out my ipad while still having the games open, and im always on discord

there's books i still want to read, i eventually want to pick up sewing again. im considering getting a craft set for making those beaded bracelets (my brother gets them from concerts all the time and thinks it would be fun to make them too) but that all requires money

and i just. idk where im going with this rn but. any advice or suggestions or just. words of encouragement would be. really nice rn

[wetcatspellcaster]

I hope this isn't too personal. If it is, I apologize and you can obviously ignore it! But you've mentioned how there was a period where you were going through some stuff and stopped writing. I had the same thing happen, and things are better (yay for both of us getting through Stuff), but my writing still hasn't come back, and it's been years. I know you said BG3 itself helped bring it back, but did you do anything to help force yourself back into writing mode? Just wondering if you had any tips or anything. Thanks!

hey anon, I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling to write. I'm going to do my best to answer but I've found writers block to be a highly personal thing so I'm not sure what I did works for everyone!

I've had two periods of writing block - one was years long due to having a high pressure university degree and then general life stuff after (18-26) the other was due to depression and something in a fandom upsetting me to the point where I didn't want to interact anymore.

So the first piece of advice I have is, work out what the root cause of the issue is, and address it! Which sucks! It's basically therapy! It feels very silly to even be advising it. But for my first writers block I realised I was putting too much pressure on myself - I wanted everything I wrote to be Meaningful and Perfect - so I devised the silliest and most entertaining writing project I could ever imagine for myself and got rid of expectation, and this broke through the block entirely. I began thinking of writing as a hobby I do for fun rather than a vocation or future profession, etc. I came to this drug late, so people who've been writing fic for longer probably won't find that novel - but I did! For the second issue, I took a break and then I readjusted how I interact with fandom. I probably seem quite antisocial at times to others, but I've just changed my boundaries to make it so I'm comfortable and so I keep writing. I realised that I didn't like the grounds on which I'd been operating on ao3 so I changed them - the block shifted again.

Often, it's not the writing that you're struggling with, necessarily, it's something else in the mix that's preventing you from doing it. See if you can find out what that is!

The second part of your question is 'how do you force writing back'... I don't think you can, honestly. Placing pressure on yourself, I've found, always backfires. But my advice for getting started writing again after a break is as follows:

Make a really fun project, as silly or cringe or self-indulgent as possible. Something you are genuinely excited about putting down on paper. Something that feeds you specifically. from a favourite maladaptive daydream, to a silly one shot, to a laundry list of all your favourite fictional things.

If you feel like you literally can't write sentences, bullet point something instead. This means that you won't feel guilt about losing the idea you've had, but also i've found that whenever I return to bullet points, it's easier to start writing bc it's not a blank page. Whatever your notes are, I promise they will be useful. If you write them in a low energy time and come back to them at a higher energy time, even better, bc past-you has literally set up a little springboard for you once you have the bandwidth to jump!

Reduce pressure. This one is very personal so it'll seem vague. Reducing pressure could be not publishing anything until it's finished. Reducing pressure could be publishing or sharing with friends immediately, so you get support and motivation to help you keep going and don't feel like you're working alone. Reducing pressure could be to pick the easiest project you have first, so you do something that maybe feels simplistic at the time, but it helps you build confidence for facing more ambitious projects later.

I don't know if any of that is helpful, but I've honestly found that for me, keeping writing as fun as possible has been what allows me to keep doing it. Any time I feel anxiety or stress creeping in, I try to remind myself of that by any means necessary.

[starrystevie]

hiya everyone! the month of june is a big one for not only myself personally but also for this blog so we'll be celebrating a few things:

my own birthday on june 24th!

reaching 2k followers! (which is still mind blowing where did y'all come from)

pride month!

now i may not be a gif maker or edit maker, but i do want to celebrate by interacting with you all in the ways i know how! i'm going to be hosting what i like to call "roll for...?", a mysterious way to get stranger things content from me for the rest of the month. starting today, june 13, you can send me in asks for things to roll for (just make sure you go over the rules before sending in an ask pls <3)

if you're interested in participating, click the read more for the rules!

how it works:

i'll have the following categories to pick from: drabble, playlist, or aesthetic/moodboard. pick one of those categories and then select up to 3 of the following subcategories for me to roll specifics for: ship, trope, vibe/colors, length, era, crossover. whatever subcategories go unchosen, i can use if i want to! each of the subcategories will have a few options in them that i will then roll for to leave the final product up to the luck of the roll. if needed, any additional details will be left up to me! if you would like it to be entirely my pick, please select 3 ships listed below for me to choose from and i will take it from there. warning, some categories will be easier for me to combine than others (ie vibe with crossover might be challenging) so please take every post with a grain of salt. this is all just for fun. these will be posted as i can get them done, so feel free to send in asks whenever you want to! i will stop accepting asks for this project on june 30th but will probably still have things to post after that. all posts will be tagged with #rollfor2023 to help keep things organized.

important to know!:

if you have any triggers or things you wouldn't want to me to include, please let me know what to avoid. i'll honor it no questions asked. all drabbles will be rated anywhere from general to mature with absolutely zero explicit smut unless you tell me you are comfortable with it being included. overcommunicate with me and we'll both be happy campers!

subcategory specifics:

ship: 1. steve/eddie, 2. robin/nancy, 3. robin/chrissy, 4. jonathan/argyle, 5. joyce/hopper, 6. bee's pick of steve ship (platonic or romantic) trope: 1. enemies to lovers, 2. friends to lovers, 3. one bed, 4. the italicized 'oh', 5. soulmates, 6. bee's pick of shop au vibe/colors: 1. whimsical/pastels, 2. angst/dark muted, 3. hopeless romantic/soft pinks, 4. cheerful/bright & bold, 5. bittersweet/blues & greys, 6. angry/dark reds length (around a certain word/song count): 1. 100-300 words/3 songs, 2. 300-500 words/5 songs, 3. 500-750 words/8 songs, 4. 750-1000 words/10 songs, 5. 1000-1500 words/15 songs, 6. bee's pick era: 1. ancient greek, 2. 1980s, 3. modern/2020s, 4. 1800s wild west, 5. 1940s, 6. unspecified fantasy world timeline ala lotr or got crossover (all chosen from my favorites!): 1. moulin rogue, 2. across the universe, 3. bee's pick of disney movie, 4. grishaverse, 5. glee, 6. supernatural

an example ask (can copy / paste if you'd like!):

i would like a drabble with a roll for ship, length, and crossover. avoid character death and mentions of drugs.

i hope this makes sense, so please let me know if you have questions! i'm truly just wanting to do something fun for the hell of it because isn't that we're all here for anyway?! rejoining the fandom side of tumblr this time last year has been such a great decision. i've been able to meet so many of you wonderful people and remember what it's like to enjoy fandom spaces again without shame. best of all, it's gotten me writing again, which had been such a big part of my hobbies that i had pushed aside. getting back into writing as a way to express myself and make content with some fucking guys from some fucking tv show has made a massive difference in my happiness over the last year.

i thank you all so sincerely for being with me along the ride. tagging some of my beloved buds here in no possible order because if it weren't for y'alls support, i never would have written half the things i have. thank you from the bottom of my heart, truly <3

@buckleydiaz @thefreakandthehair @yournowheregirl @scoops-stevie @gothbat99 @bayouteche @toburnup @stevethehairington @judasofsuburbia @henderdads @sharpbutsoft @kkpwnall @figthefruitfaeth @fastcardotmp3 @fragilecapric0rnn @wynnyfryd @stargyles @jeysuso @bitchsteve @lovespiralls @riality-check @cheatghost @legitcookie @hellsfireclub @sanguineterrain @kingofscoops @roykentt @sidekick-hero

[ayahimes]

life update : ( tw hospital mention , tw anxiety , tw depression , tw death mention , tw covid mention )

so two weeks ago when shit hit the fan in the genshin rpc with the callout , the same day i was met with some pretty devastating news .

for some background : not everyone is aware but back in 2020 i put my school on hold because i was working as a nurse full time and doing a ton of overtime during the pandemic . i was initially working in ortho and then transferred to critical care ( where i still am too ) during the end of 2020 when it got really bad during the holidays . because of everything from it my mental health was shit and i was dealing with the ptsd of the trauma and death i saw every day . i'm still not 100% but much better than i was .

i eventually was told i got into a masters program again to get my pmhnp - bc and after some delays i spent 2.5 years of my life on it . anyways fast forward to two weeks ago . i didn't pass the exit examination for my program by one point and was told all my hard work was basically for nothing and i'd have to start all over again elsewhere . tbh , i was devastated and i still am . i'm currently trying to get my bearings straight and find out what i need to do next , but i just need some time is all . by no means are my efforts wasted , nor is it the end of the world , but this setback has definitely made me re-evaluate a lot of my life .

i have time again but i've decided to pick up more hours at work to pay for another 50k+ program somehow ( crazy huh ) and to enjoy my vacation in december . i'm still here and am enjoying my time , but if my heart or attention isn't into things it's nothing personal . i'm here to enjoy my time and hobby when i can , and i'm just going where i am happiest , whether it's gaming for hours on end or writing a shit post then logging off . thank you to everyone who has extended their kindness to me over the last two weeks , and those who have been patient with me since i've joined the fandom . i know i don't really owe an explanation but i want to so you all can understand the stuff going on outside of here too .

keep being kind to people . you never know what they're going through beyond here . sometimes our attitudes can make all the difference . and if you made it this far ? thank you <3

[secret-third-thing]

just a very silly, sappy post

Two years go, my relationship with my long-term boyfriend (A) was in shambles. I was still recovering from a horrible back injury, and I had just started a job that turned out to be rather lackluster (read: sexism abound!)

I got the sense that A and I were going to break up soon, so I scrolled through Libby and picked up this book called ACOTAR that tiktok was raving about, thinking that if I was going to be alone, I may as well start doing "alone" activities. I read the book in a day.

A broke up with me within the week. I read the entire ACOTAR series shortly after. Then TOG. (And eventually CC.) I maybe cried over A twice.��I was too busy with fae men, I guess. 🤣

Now, I'm living in my favorite city with my best friend, working a job I adore. I'm writing again; I've found other new hobbies that bring me joy.

And it's wild that this fandom has been part of this healing journey. Running Eris Week was so much fun - watching so many creators come together over this JERK (affectionate) was hilarious and inspiring. He'd be SO embarrassed, and secretly flattered.

Anyway, there was really no point to this post other than just getting the good vibes out there. If no one reads this, that's fine. I'm simply ecstatic to be here and I am thankful for all the friends I have made and will make in the future.

Here's to a massively creative 2024 (and an even sluttier Eris Week 2024 🧡)! 

[red-man-of-mustache]

I managed to get my old blog back! Last time I contacted Tumblr support they basically shrugged their shoulders like they couldn't/wouldn't do anything. This time it only took ONE message and bam, I have access again. It feels good to go back and reminisce. See a bunch of old ideas I had for Mario and whatnot. I'm gonna get a little feelsy under the cut though, I just wanted to tell someone about this. I won't be going back to it or anything as I've already started over here but it's nice to have possession over it. Two-factor authentication did it's job(a little too well) when I lost that old phone number.

I made that blog when my then girlfriend suggested I do so. Tumblr wasn't even in my sights at the time. I was fresh out of High School and the tumultuous time I spent there was horrific to my general inspiration to write. What I mean is, I began Freshman year full of hope and vigor. I even wanted to write a book. I still have about six or seven chapters of it somewhere in my laptop but I gave up around sophomore year as I was an outcast, dealing with an alcoholic parent, and all around just not having a good run of things IRL. Thusly I moved further and further from certain hobbies I enjoyed, like writing/role-playing.

As stated, I graduated High School in June of 2014 and my girlfriend suggested I make a rp blog for Mario in July of that same year. I thought nothing of it. I made the blog, followed a bunch of people, and sat back for a bit to see how it was done. I learned some of the terminology and then got right to it! To this day it was the most fun I've had just goofing off, making random jokes with people across the fandom, and not having a care in the world to drag me down.

It was an escape.

If any of you were around, you'll know I spoke about follower count a lot back then. That wasn't to brag, rather I was amazed that people would follow my dumb ol' blog whether it be to watch me write or write with me. The concept still amazes me to this day really. I started going to college shortly after, and admittedly I would often be blogging when I should have been doing homework or even in the middle of class. I loved(and still love) what I was doing. I enjoy writing Mario because I grew up with him and I find comfort in his games. Mario represents a part of me that feel as though I've lost touch with in recent years. The bravery, the happy-go-lucky. The optimism.

As I wrote through the years, on and off through to 2018, I met a lot of people and more often than not I'd vanish on these newfound connections because just to be blunt I am horrible at keeping in touch. Absolutely dogshit at it. If I go too long without speaking to someone I just would figure why bother? Then never say anything again. A vicious cycle really if you feel like an outcast because you reinforce those feelings through inaction.

I was in an especially horrible slump the year I lost that blog. I had a job I hated(but paid well) I was smoking constantly to escape the pain, and I was in a very unsavory living situation. From almost every angle I felt suppressed and tumblr was my only escape. But I started letting it affect my time here as well. Another not so glamorous fact about me: I have trouble letting go of things. Paradoxical with what I just mentioned about keeping in touch I know but people, things, experiences, I cling to the good in my life given the trials I've had to endure. So, I contacted support and tried to hash things out. I was turned down and although I felt at the time it wasn't fair I could just pick back up and do as I used to do, for once I resolved to not give up and made this blog here. I still had access through my old phone(the app specifically. That was the only place I was still logged into it on)) it just didn't have service or the phone number assigned to it for me to receive the Two-factor authentication code.

It hurt at the time to archive my old blog and just go about my day but that was a practice in letting go. Sort of. I'm still using the same name, same character, and my method of writing is just a little bit spruced up. But I needed it. I needed to move on because there was just as much pain associated with that blog as there was good times. I needed to grow and move past it. And I did.

Of course, I took an extended hiatus on this blog as well. At the time I was financially in the gutter, emotionally I was volatile and my physical health didn't help either of those things. It's not all bad though. I've made a lot of good progress recently. The past year really. Unfortunately at first, my weed consumption got to the point where I could hardly function in day-to-day life without it and I was simultaneously worse off mentally for it. It almost drove me to suicide. I did attempt it, once. But that was my breaking point. May of last year. I decided I cannot go on this way and I checked myself into a mental hospital.

After a short stay I came out with a new resolve to fix my life and get over the time I wasted burying my feelings in THC. I had quit, after smoking daily from 2015 until then(2023) I stopped cold turkey. That jumpstart being away from it for a week helped a lot. I'll be a year clean in two months. Afterwards I started seeking better job opportunities, even working two jobs at one point to maximize gain. The truck my uncle helped me get had broken down in November and well, I decided that it would take an exorbitant amount to tow and fix it. I took THAT money and went to the dealership, got a used car I loved. First time I've had a car note in my adult life and I was 27 at the time. My mom (who deserves her own post really. She's not been the best person and that's putting it lightly) ended up in the hopsital around that same time for dry bronchitis. Still an alcoholic by the way, but I actually had hope for her. If I could kick my habit then she should be able to as well, right??

Wrong. She got out the hospital and got even worse. I came back home to look after her tentatively for a bit but planned on going back with my roommate afterwards. Her belligerent drunken rants had gotten markedly worse and if I were to guess it was that brush with death. She claims she went to the hospital because she couldn't breath. I wasn't around at the time to get her there but someone luckily was. Fast Forward to the end of January. My mom and I get into an argument. Usually that doesn't happen because I'll either let her speak her piece and move on or I legit just ignore her. But tonight she was trying to get physical with me, a grown man. Throughout my childhood she was physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive and always used threats to keep me in line but she realized none of that worked anymore and was especially angry.

She was poking at me, trying to land punches on me and eventually I shoved her away. I tried multiple times to walk away by this point by going to other parts of the house but she would follow me, block my way and again try to get physical. Things simply boiled over. After shoving her she grew angrier and we got into things physically. I didn't hit her the entire time. Not a scratch was on her because(and this isn't my ego talking) I was only trying to control the situation. I mostly pushed her around while she clawed at my face, threw things, and she ended up hitting me with an air fryer. When she did that I called the police.

The police came and saw the two of us. Me bleeding with cuts on my face and her unmarked. They spoke to both of us and took me to the hospital and her as well to get examined. I was able to go home that night. She went to jail.

My brother heard what happened and stole my car that night, but again that's a story for another time.

I'm putting all this out there about me because I returned to rping Mario a little bit after all this happened(January 31-February 1st is when it all went down). I was going through a lot on my old blog but I still chugged along because life has it's ups and downs. That's something Mario would say. This past year I've won more than I lost. I've been getting therapy as well to try and pin down if I have anything going on in the ol' noggin so, really, I'm in a place where I think I can sustain this hobby again. At first it felt like life crushed my optimism and hope for a better future but that was because I let it.

I say all this to say, that I'm glad to be back. I'm glad all of you no matter if we write together everyday or every other day gives me a chance. It warms my heart to write these posts even if I'm not here everyday. Sometimes I get busy, sometimes I don't have the energy but I refuse to give up as I've done in the past. That will never happen again.

So bear with me is all I ask. I wouldn't give this up for the world.

[kaycode1999]

Hey! I wanted to ask for a match up if it was alright? If it's not, I'm sorry and I won't bother again. If it is, here's my info (also if you could do LMK I would be happy):

I am around 5'5 feet, have brown/blackish hair and brown eyes. I'm chubby, and I would like for my partner to be able to pick me up (mainly bc I am VERY clingy, and tend to jump onto people I love, also side note I ask the person if they are okay with this)

My general aesthetic depends on how much energy I have that day, but it consists of light academia or just casual outfits. My main colors are Pink, Purple and orange.

My pronouns are She/They, demigirl, Panromantic, pansexual, demiromantic and demisexual. Generally okay with any type of relationship as long as we have met for longer than two years, since it takes me time to open up about my traumas and all (even if I'm very happy and an extrovert).

People say I'm helpful, lazy, too creative, get everywhere late, I'm an aquarius and can pick up on peoples intentions from the get-go. My main hobbies are astrology, any random fandom I get into and video games (Roblox and the sims 4, also minecraft when I get the 2 week phase). I enjoy being in the presence of everyone, but if I'm one-in-one I would like for them to know how to understand comfortable silence and be able to have weirdly deep conversations. I am shit at small talk, so if they could do that for me I would be thankful. I would like for this person to be playful, maybe have a cute smile and overall just be very knowledgeable about topics.

I am also deep in love with alturistic people, and can't be around people who are selfish or only work for their own benefit, mainly bc WHYYYY??? (I am a firm believer that if you have the means to help you should).

Last but not least: Whenever I have a distance relationship, be it friendship, romantic partners or Qpr, I tend to have the tendency of dissapearing for a week or two bc I don't know that to say, or I have run out od words.

Don't pair me up with Peng, LBD or The Mayor, they are just... not my thing when it comes to morals and personality.

I think that's all? Sorry if I missed anything, and thank you so much for reading (sorry for the bibble of info :( )

No problem at all my friend😘

I match you with

our favorite Newdle-boy

Now you two are 2 peas in a pod -like almost soulmate level close

You're perfect together because you both understand the things the other has been through and both need to take the time to get to know someone and be comfortable with them before the romantic relationship can develop

He loves-loves-LOVES your eyes. Did I mention he loves your eyes? Because he will constantly be telling you how much he loves your eyes

I don't think he's that much taller than you but it's enough that he likes to ruffle your hair to mess with you or just use you as an armrest

P.S. He has the powers of the Monkey King, he’s most definitely going to be strong enough to pick you up and spin you around- and he does ALL.THE.TIME

He's used to Mei, so he won't mind you jumping onto him

You two have gaming marathon dates and a lot of the time he will try to get into new fandoms with you

This precious boy is very traumatized so he will also take a little while before he (reluctantly) opens up to you in return to you opening up to him

He trusts your intuition implicitly because his past trauma means he doesn't trust his own

He loves hearing about astrology. He may not be super super into it but he definitely finds it interesting and will listen to you talk about it forever.

After everything he's been through he's become more comfortable with comfortable silence instead of constant chatter, but he also enjoys making small talk too.

Once he gets comfortable with you he will have deep conversations. ( More likely about theoretical stuff or really anything that doesn't pertain to him or the things he's been through although he's willing to share about that eventually)

He's so altruistic to the point of being self-sacrificing (*cough* latest season *cough*) so he's definitely not in any way selfish.

He's busy working and training with the Monkey King a lot of the time, so honestly if you take a few days he doesn't really mind although that doesn't mean he won't miss you at the same time

I also feel the need to say you would be besties with Mei too. You three together are unstoppable and inseparable

Pigsy would also adore you and treat you like his own child because he sees how good you are with MK and how much you mean to his son ( you always get free food much to Tang’s confusion and frustration)

[ladymdc]

I had a question for you! I recently got into fic writing and I admit that I am far from good, but I found it to be fun and two of my friends help edit it and help me out. Some people liked it and I really got into it. A week ago, I got a really long, nasty comment that basically told me I was a horrible writer and that I should never publish again, plus said I should get new editors. It was awful. I don't even really want to write anymore after the hateful things they said. I know I'm not great and have a lot to learn but it was really discouraging. Has that ever happened to you on your fics? Do you have any advice on how to bounce back?

This is going to be long, but I have Feelings™️ about this…

First, I want to say I’m sorry this happened to you. No matter how much skill or experience you have or don’t have, you didn’t deserve it. It makes me mad when readers feel the need to be cruel when this is a hobby for most of us & something we do for joy. It was this individual’s responsibility to simply click the back button & go find something else, not tear you down.

That said, I’ve had quite a few unpleasant fandom experiences from unwelcome critique to stealing/copying my work, & it’s hard to come back from, especially early on when you’re just starting to figure it out— but there are a few things that have helped me over the years:

Time is a given & so is being kind to yourself, so give yourself those things ♥️ Revisiting the work & pulling out things I like is a big help. It’s too easy to see the flaws after a nasty comment, so find what sparked joy in the first place. If the negative is too loud, turn it into what you would’ve done differently, but don’t beat yourself up either. I see things I would do different all the time. It’s just a part of growing. Stuff I know for next time! But the biggest help has been my friends.

I am lucky enough to have two friends who have been with me through most of my writing journey & I have picked up a few more along the way. But having them listen & support me & give a big “fuck that person” after stuff like this helps tremendously.

So, next, I’d like to say: fuck that person.

The ‘want to quit’ feelings they left you with are valid, but their actions were not. We can’t find our voice & style & all the things that piece us together as a writer without stumbling through the process. Here, my friends & I like to say that spite is a pretty solid motivator, & it is.

Don’t quit. Don’t let this person win. Tell your story. Grow. Write another chapter and dedicate it to them. And it’s okay to not be ready to do that yet, but I encourage you to do it. This shit gets easier to field as your skin gets thicker & it is *so freeing* when you get there, but it takes time, just like developing your craft. Things I wrote 7 years ago would be so different if I wrote it today. It’s just how it is.

I wish you all the best anon & I don’t know if any of this was helpful to you, but I hope it made you feel better— even a little— & that you keep writing. We all start somewhere ♥️✨

[psi-hate]

How did you start drawing and what were your biggest obstacles in getting to as good as you are now? (If its not too much to ask)

i started drawing when I was about 13, I was into the MOTHER fandom and looked up to a lotta artists there and tried my hand at it. It was mainly just some doodles I would do during school, but eventually I got a cheap tablet and drew for a few things I liked over the years like Steven Universe, Little Witch Academia, Splatoon and so on. My biggest issue however was that I never really did it consistently, I would pick up drawing for maybe a couple weeks every several months which was definitely a big hurdle in my progress being much slower compared to others.

I juggled a lot of hobbies, programming / game dev for example, and focused on those since I felt it was something I'd earn some respect from my family and secure a better future, and as such I really stagnated in art. It wasn't until the last couple years that I picked it back up as something I really want to devote myself to, no longer deciding what is "worth" doing aside from my own personal preferences.

I got into the hololive rabbit hole and met a great amount of friends through it, several artists and writers, and felt inspired again to just enjoy the act of creating. For the last 6 months or so I've pretty much been drawing exclusively touhou, and it's been the most enjoyable time for me as an artist to improve. Even now I'm still improving pretty fast, and I still think I could be drawing a lot more and getting that much better if not for my volatile mental health still being a negating factor in my motivation.

I've found myself in drawing after so long of being on the fence that I just want to keep it up for as long as I'm able. I don't think I'm as good as I should be yet, and there's a lot of progress I want to see happen now that I'm broadening my skills and going out of my comfort zone to experiment.

Ultimately, my biggest inspiration is just expressing myself through my favorite characters. I know I missed out on improvement by constantly shelving my skills, so I'm trying to make up for that now. I've drawn more in the last 6 months than I have in all of my life prior, and even then I feel like I'm doing less than most artists. I would like to keep up the pace this year.

Thanks for the ask! I appreciate being able to talk about this. It's not often I'm asked about this sort of thing so it's nice to get my thoughts out there.