#this evil little fucking bitch (affectionate)

[fallenclan]

can we see levi's top relationships now that he's deputy? curious to see if he's close with/even likes anyone in the clan besides ravenstar LMAOOOOOOOOOO

-🦝

if ravenstar finds out that levi (much older than littleleaf) has a crush on littleleaf. well. i dont think he'll be deputy any more. or breathing

[acupofinkedblood]

Subspace x reader

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

• Be so for real here, to be able to tolerate this man alone is already a hassle, let alone fall in love with him. You definitely concern people enough for them to check if you have any traumatic brain damage because out of anyone you had, you chose this little shit to begin with. We all need a bit of craziness in our life, but you took it to a whole new level with your evil boyfriend. But in your defense, his unhinged behavior was intriguing!

• Subspace was definitely not the typical romantic type to begin with, that’s a head start for you. He has spent years under Blackrock’s guidance and became an ambitious achiever, romance is definitely something foreign to him. All he knows is that he enjoys your company. And you should be grateful for it! Because he — the great Subspace — even spares you his upmost attention when he isn’t working

• But in all due seriousness and no offense, this guy is such a loser in the most affectionate way

• You know orange cats? They can be such sweethearts, but they have certain reputation for being crazy little rascal. In this case, if we minus the teeny tiny bit of sweetness out of Subspace, then there you have it - An unhinged insane little fuck

• Don’t be surprised when he brings you such random things back. Of course, he is rich and will not hesitate to spoil you. Yet aside from those lavish designer stuff, you can find some of the most questionable items that he ought to bring back to you. Maybe it’s just simple thing that reminds him of you, like butterfly taxidermy collection…or some piece of funny-looking bone he found when doing some experiments. If you’re fond of cryptic trinkets, he is all yours

• He is such a yapper. He will go on and on with anything possible around him: Telling you his accomplishments with pride, bitching about how bothersome his co-workers or ‘pests’ are, rambling on some experiments he has been running…And when you actually ask him more about what he just told you, his eye definitely brightens up

• You definitely have a Biograft that he modifies carefully to be with you when he isn’t around. A companion to keep you company if you may. Just use it for your personal assistant, surely that is his intention beside destroying anyone who dare to harm you—

• Since his lower set of horns can be troublesome when it grows out, you offer to help him carve it. And that is just one of the few things you lend him a hand

• Remember his missing eye? Sometimes a certain liquid just oozes out of his socket, especially when he is stressed out, so your first instinct is to grab the nearest medical kit to help clean it up. Can’t let it infects his already rotten skin as well. You keep in contact with his doctors to know what to do

• Speaking of his rotten skin, he is aware how ruined he is. Hell, his arm is almost falling apart if it isn’t for the sleeve that aids him. Tell him that it doesn’t matter. He is still your number one and who cares if his skin is rotting? You’re already nasty when you first fell for this mess of a dude yourself, surely you have foreseen this coming. When you kiss him for the first time, he almost bites his tongue and waves his hand around to shoo you out of flusteration, and the iconic ‘How dare you-!?’ as well. But when he gets used to the affection, you will see this shit-eating grin appears on his face with pride. This guy is just so full of himself

• Subspace is pretty touch-starved, to your surprise. He won’t ask for it straightforwardly, of course, as if his pride will allow it. But just pick up his body language and you will know when he wants your physical affection. He has this certain part of his horn that if you massage it slightly, he will freeze and literally just not moving at all. Like how you grab a cat’s neck and all of the sudden it just freeze there

• If you do gossip, then oh boy is he ruthless with his tongue. This guy doesn’t hold back when he is talking shit of someone. Especially now he finally has someone who is more than willing to entertain this hobby of his. Poor whoever unlucky enough to be the victim of you two’s verbal violence

• Want his attention? Call out his full government name — Subspace T. Mine — and watch as he look at you with confusion

• He can bake and it’s pretty much edible. But whether it tastes good or not is debatable since he can’t really taste it anymore. You have volunteered to be the gracious one that he allows to test out his baking skill — or basically you have became a domestic glorified test subject — and see if it is good or bad. He usually bakes when he has nothing to do at the moment, which is usually rare considering his workload

• And listen, he is the Morticia of your Gomez. Ain’t any other way around mate. It’s pretty obvious in the dynamic between you two. You love his psychotic quirkiness, and that just fuels his pride even more. Just a compliment from you is enough to boost his ego to the top. It’s like that meme of ‘Hot witch wife and me who will do anything she wants,’ but in his case, he is your wifey

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

Note: I used to main this little shit before I lost my account so he has a special spot in my heart

[sm0lcatfish]

ASK GAME FOR DERANGED PLURALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR SOMETHING

💥 (BIG BOOM) - WHO IS THE EVILIEST LITTLE CRETIN IN YOUR SYSTEM. THIS CAN BE AFFECTIONATE IDC

🌊 (AHHH WAVE) - IF YOUR ENTIRE SYSTEM WAS ON AN ABANDONED ISLAND AND YOU HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO SACRIFICE SOMEONE TO THE SEAGULLS TO SURVIVE WHO’S GOING. WHO’S GETTING VOTED TO THE SEAGULLS

🌹 (EW ROMANCE) - WHO’S THE FRUITIEST MF THERE. DO THEY NEED TO CALM THE FUCK DOWN YES OR NO

🔥 (ARSON TIME) - WHO IS PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBAH ONE

🤼 (FRIENDSHIP LOSES) - DOES YOUR SYSTEM HAVE A PAIR OF ARCH NEMESIES?? ABSOLUTELY ON SIGHT FOR EACH OTHER?????? ARE YOU THE FOE??????

👁️ (STARE) - DOES ANYONE JUST LIKE SIT AND LURK AND WATCH. GOT ANY STARERS????????

🦷 (THE BITIES) - WHO WOULD EAT RAW MEAT WITHOUT HESITATION. NO COOKING THAT SHIT

🐠 (BLOOD AND VIOLENCE) - WHAT’S SOMETHING OUTSIDE YOUR SYSTEM THAT EVERYONE AGREES IS SHITTY AND BAD AND EVIL. ABSOLUTELY UNANIMOUS (OR CLOSE TO THAT)

🧤 (NO TOUCHY) - WHAT’S SOMETHING ONLY ONE OR A FEW PEOPLE HATE AND DESPISE BUT MOST THINK IT’S PRETTY FUCKING COOL. WHO’S RIGHT (USE BIAS LMAO)

🐈‍⬛ (STOP SHEDDING) - WHO’S MOST LIKELY TO HAVE A FURSONA

🥊 (VIOLENCE IS THE ONLY ANSWER) - YOUR SYSTEM HAS AN ALL OUT DUEL. WHO’S WINNING.

🍎 (WHAT’S THAT ONE SAYING ABOUT THE EYE) - WHO (PROBABLY) GETS THE MOST BITCHES

🪢 (ROPE EMOJI) - WHO IS THE MOST SOCIAL. WHO HAS THE MOST ALLIES

💃 (BOOGIE) - ANY WEIRD STORIES FROM SOMEONE’S FIRST/ONE OF THEIR FIRST TIMES FRONTING????????

[fartlovingblkguy69]

The Little Men’s Toilet Slave Part 2

And with that he turned around and I got to see the most magnificent ass. It was big and round, muscular with a nice layer of fat and hairy as fuck! I’ve never seen an ass so hairy before! This is the type of ass that I ordinarily would have wanted to bury my face deep in and rim for hours but given what I knew was about to happen I wanted to throw up! This was made worse by the fact that when he bent over teasingly, I was assaulted by a smell akin to hot sewage mixed with garlic and there were stains and dingleberries all throughout his filthy forest of a crack. As he backed up to my face he reached back and further spread his cheeks allowing me to see his hole underneath a thick ring of fur and his hole opened and pushed out, releasing a nasty sbd before slamming his hole down on my nose. Fssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh “Ah, I need to get rid of some more gas before I open the flood gates or else I’ll drown our new toilet bitch and then he’ll be no use to anyone! Let me see the footage we’ve shot so far while I relieve myself!” he said rubbing his aching, bloated stomach. He sat there farting away with his filthy hair hole sucking my nose in and constantly dripping a sample of the sludge that was about to fill my mouth into my nostrils. It was getting harder with each fart for him not shit all over me. I could tell, but he wanted to drag this out as long as possible and to be quite frank I was in no hurry to get to the main even myself. Finally after half an hour he slowly stood up and groaned “Open your mouth toilet! It’s time! I really can’t hold it anymore! If I smell or spill any of this I swear to God I’m gonna vomit all over your cute face and i don’t want that so after I make you swallow I’ll let Josh (the hot asf blond guy from earlier) and his boys stomp the fuck out of you! This can go easy or it can be extremely painful! Your choice!” He gently patted my stomach and started to sit back down. I reluctantly opened my mouth and watched in horror as before he was even seated his hole seemed to spasm and out pushed the biggest pile of slop I’ve ever seen! It was soft, lumpy shit, not quite liquid, but definitely nowhere near solid and it stunk like rotten eggs that had been left under the burning sun for days! It quickly filled my mouth and with much effort Kyle managed to pull his hairy hole shut. “Hurry up and swallow that! There’s so much more inside me and I will let it out all over your face if I have to! Don’t chew, just swallow! You can savor my shit another time! I’m in too much pain right now!” I struggled to swallow, my throat burning and closing, gagging and trying not explosively throw up the toxic waste that was in my mouth and nostrils and felt like it was penetrating every part of my being. He slapped my stomach and said “Round 2! Here it comes in 5 seconds and remember what happens if it doesn’t end up in your mouth!” I hurriedly swallowed and opened my mouth right as the next blast came bursting out. This continued for 6 mouthfuls over the course of the next 40 minutes with many wet farts in between each torrent of loose, sludgy shit. Finally he exclaimed “Damn that felt great to let out! I can’t believe how much better I feel! You can’t imagine how much pain I was in! Now lick me clean!” as I sat there and thought to myself, You were in pain? What about me you piece of shit! You narcissistic asshole! What the hell is wrong with you? But I knew better than to say any of that so I just lay there licking his entire crack clean in silence before moving to his disgusting hole. He smiled down at me and affectionately rubbed my very full, very bloated belly. “I think you deserve a reward for being such a good helper! I can’t wait to give it to you later! I think you’ll like it! In the meantime I gotta get back to filming! Anyone else need a bathroom break with the new toilet?” Of course there stood Josh with an evil smirk on his face. Here we go again! (To Be Continued)

[takaraphoenix]

43 for Peter and Stiles,

29 for Stiles and 18 for Derek because I think I'm funny

And 12 for your pick because I'm evil

Well, now I'm scared of 12 xDDD Thank you for playing, Cupcake ^-^

43. What type of weather makes you think of this character?

Okay so I feel like my pick for Stiles is suuuper obvious on account of me always, constantly, consistently representing Stiles with a lightning storm. Storms, wild rain and lightning, thunder roaring in the background.

Peter is harder though. Windy dark night, I think. Something about Peter feels like strong wind, harsh and biting, pushing and pulling. Yes.

18. Do you prefer to see this character suffer or know peace? Angst or comfort? Both?

I am an angsty hurt/comfort writer who loves to see people suffer but good fucking gods not for Derek, this bitch suffers so much in canon it is actually unreal that he is still sane.

Killed his first love after putting her into that situation to begin with? Groomed and raped at 15 by the woman who killed his entire fucking family? Aside from his big sister, who got murdered by his uncle, who he then kills? The government for some reason claimed his land and home??? The woman who groomed and raped him comes back and tortures him a bunch?? The third woman he falls for turns out to literally be a serial killer?? And then he has to give up the Alpha spark, the only graspable thing he has left of his family? To save his sister's life? Just to have his sister fuck off and never show up again??? And he has to play mentor to the very kid he had tried to mentor for like all of seasons 1 through 3A, who somehow became Alpha of these lands? Just to in the end have that kid abandon the territory too, so it's like he lost everything for fuck no reason? And then they made a stupid ass movie just to kill him?

This man has suffered enough. I didn't know that was possible for a fictional character, but good fucking gods, let this man rest. I want to wrap him up in a blanket and let him be happy. No more pain, only pack and love.

29. Do you affectionately bully this character?

Stiles? No. There are characters I do bully, but I feel like I deadass respect Stiles too much for that. I love that vicious little bastard. I build him up, I let him be unrestrained. I bully Jackson, but not Stiles.

12. If you could write effortlessly and as much as you wanted, what story (s) would you write for this character?

Oh, I feel obligated to answer this one for something not Teen Wolf because writing effortlessly and as much as I wanted whatever stories I would want is kind of exactly what I have been doing for the past eight months now.

So, curveball outta left field: Rei Kon. I've been thinking about him a lot lately, because I realized that next year is my 20th anniversary as a fic writer and he was kind of how things started for me.

I have a bunch of abandoned Beyblade fanfiction form back in the day. Because the fandom died and I tried to keep going in a dead fandom but couldn't anymore at one point and just... dropped out.

If I could write effortlessly and as much as I wanted for any character of my choosing, I would translate and rewrite (aka update-my-writing because it has been two decades and I improved as a writer) my most beloved Rei centric fics from back in the day and finally finish them. It absolutely wrecks me about one fic in particular. It's at 50k, with 20/50 chapters written, but I got the other 30 chapters outlines. I fiercely, deeply loved this story, it was my biggest project until I hit Chasing Fireflies.

This story, this one story, translated, worked over and finished, would be what I wish the most that I could do and it fucks me up that I can't.

Character Ask Game

[crime-wives]

ouat 1x01 thoughts

god regina, you dramatic bitch. “I shall destroy your happiness if it is the last thing I do” ok darling, you can destroy me if you’d like

henry is so small, his tiny cheeks awww

not to be gay but… emma swan in the pink dress. fuck. i forgot how attracted to her i was. and the HAIR, the fucking princess curls. jesus christ her ARMS.

“bail bonds-person” i love her

yesss bitch, strut across the street like you own it. absolute icon behavior, slamming that asshole’s face into the steering wheel.

babe you’re so sad and pathetic with your vanilla cupcake. i bet she wished for family.

not her apartment door saying ‘cast a spell’

“My name’s Henry, and i’m your son” agevgsvegw STOP

her having a panic attack in the bathroom, so real.

once again, her ARMS, i want her so bad

henry’s cute little freckles, i can’t do this.

idgaf abt snow and charming “She poisoned an apple because she thought I was prettier than her” shut up bitch, you know that’s not why

“Oh kid, you’ve got problems” emma swan, insulting children since 1983

ok but the fact that they chose the name ‘emma’ in a fairytale world, lmao

evil queen theme song playing as they enter storybrooke

emma swan wearing the most dyke outfit possible. getting ready to impress milfs

not that there’s any significance, but emma’s license plate is: 836•M4X

snow and charming are so annoying istg

ewww the blue fairy, i hate that bitch (derogatory)

regina running towards henry and wrapping him up in a hug. her eyes are wet. good lord, her first reaction is concern and worry, not anger.

“I found my real mom” my HEART. her face after he said that, so stricken and hurt, baby…

emma’s little flustered, ‘hi’ when talking to a gorgeous milf. ok babe, we get it, you’re gay.

graham leaving bc of emma and regina’s immediate sexual tension. and regina’s eyes roving over emma.

first ‘Miss Swan’ of the show at exactly 21:00 minutes.

emma swan is so desperate to impress regina. it’d be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic (affectionate)

“Sneaky bastard” once again, emma swan insulting children since 1983

crashing into the storybrooke sign like the absolute icon she is

the cgi 💀💀

yay!! curse time :)

emma waking up in a jail cell. she just does not give a fuck about this shit.

her lips parting when she she’s regina, ok babe, she’s hot we get it

LIP SCAR

god mary-margaret pisses me off

go regina, knock over mary-margaret’s shit, absolute queen

“She’s kinda a hardass” yes but that turns you on, doesn’t it?

gina’s so hot when she’s evil

putting a newborn through the wardrobe to save themselves, a+ parenting

henry mills, once again, the most mature one in a situation “You don’t have to be hostile. You like me, I can tell. You’re just pushing me away because I make you feel guilty.”

“I wanted you to have your best chance. But it’s not with me. C’mon, let’s go.” go emma! be the mature adult i know you can be

petition to get emma swan a therapist so she can deal with all her issues (trust me, she’s got a lot of them)

“Look, your mom is trying her best. I know it’s hard, and I know sometimes you think she doesn’t love you, but at least she wants you.” emma swan, standing up for regina mills since the moment they met

mmm regina’s voice is so hot.

her unhinged laughter, i love her so much

“Where are we going?” “Somewhere horrible, absolutely horrible” takes them to maine

emma swan is so fucking desperate for regina’s approval. she wished to not be alone on her birthday, baby…

second ‘Miss Swan’ of the show at 38:43 (i will be keeping count of all of them :D)

regina fidgeting with her blazer pockets, she’s so anxious

first “He’s my son” at 39:01 minutes

“I will destroy you if it is the last thing I do” babe, it’s kinda gay to have a nemesis, just saying

third ‘Miss Swan’ of the show at 39:32

baby… gina is coming apart at the seems

god, not to be gay, but regina’s HANDS at 40:27 agevvegse

emma’s only staying because of regina’s provocations. she wouldn’t have stayed for henry.

gold is so icky.

she’s staying a *only* a week, sure babe, sure.

also side note, i forgot how good the coloring was in ouat. like its very faded, maybe indicative of storybrooke being stuck in the past???

[silverraes]

10 BL Boys I Want Carnally

10 BL Boys That Make Me Feel Things™

(not sexual, not romantic but a secret third thing)

okay so I wasn't exactly tagged in this but I saw several people doing this and I'll take just about any excuse to scream about my favorite characters so I'm just going to very sneakily join in on this trend 👀

there is absolutely no ranking to these bc I couldn't rank them if I wanted to

(also I changed the name a little bc my ace ass is literally physically incapable of wanting anyone carnally but I still have lots of thoughts lmao)

1) Tharn (The Sign)

I mean. is literally anyone surprised that this is where we're starting?

he's the nicest person out there. he can kick your ass if he wants to. he lost his parents at a young age and is absolutely convinced that everyone he loves is doomed to die and he keeps seeing visions of people dying and he's told again and again that those he has wronged in a past life - which he doesn't even remember - are still out to get him and yet he has so much kindness left for the world??

also he can be such a little shit and knows exactly how to tease Phaya back I love him so goddamn much.

(also that mole-)

2) Kim (Kinnporsche)

was he also on my characters I'd hit with my car list? maybe. and what about it.

I love him so much. he's such a badass but he's such a loser. famous singer who falls for a fan he was supposed to be investigating but is too emotionally constipated to admit it. badass son of a mafia family who can kick ass but only if he wants to. who does it like him honestly

(it also helps that he's played by just about the prettiest man alive)

3) Babe (Pit Babe)

did I start watching this show ironically? yes. is every mention of alphas and mpreg and that mama/papa thing hitting me like a brick and causing me 9000 psychic damage every single time? also yes. did I absolutely fall in love with the show and just about every character in it? you bet your fucking ass I did.

but I especially love Babe. he's just so babygirl. special alpha man who has to act tough and strong but just wants to be babied by his dumbass loser (affectionate) alpha boyfriend. like, he's actually so goddamn soft?? I love him.

4) Guy (Bake Me Please)

I think we all knew this was coming. I was literally gushing about him for half of the episodes. Guy my beloved. that show did not deserve you.

he spends the entire show supporting his crush's every decision and trying to make sure he's okay literally how could you not love this man

(yes he was a petty bitch for like 5 minutes there but he immediately apologized for it the next episode. properly. unlike certain other people-)

5) Sprite (Twins)

he's so himbo coded. himbo of all himbos. the himboest. not a brain cell in that head. he's my little dumbass I love him.

he deserves so much better than what he's being put through. someone please just love and support him for who he is. and also take him away from that family

(please talk to your boyfriend tho I am begging)

6) Wei Wuxian (The Untamed)

MY BELOVED. I could write essays about him. he's such a great character I love him so fucking much. if you ever had to bear witness to me talking about him.. I am so sorry.

sassy emo bitch with a flute and a tragic backstory who's seen as evil by just about everyone but only ever had the best intentions. absolute fucking dumbass. kicks ass. always smiling despite the circumstances. loves his siblings so damn much. doomed by the narrative. what more could you possibly ask for

7) Zhou Zishu (Word of Honor)

I'm trying so damn hard to keep this list to one character per show and it really took me a while to decide if I wanted to include him or Wen Kexing but ultimately it was Zhou Zishu for me

just.. god. him. assassin sect leader just trying to retire who keeps getting dragged into the biggest bullshit but doesn't really mind bc the bullshit comes with a mysterious pretty man. also that whole god damn nail thing. I have so many thoughts and feelings about that but this post would get too long if I got started on those-

(also actually pulling the "I'm literally dying" card to get out of chores is so fucking valid of him. more characters should do that)

8) Milk (Choco Milk Shake)

he is quite fucking literally a reincarnated cat, of course I love him. I could list reasons for why I love him but it would be the exact same reasons just about every cat person on earth lists for why they love cats so. but here's a quick summary, just in case:

petty. dramatic. knocks over glasses. silently loves you so fucking much.

9) Tew (My Dear Gangster Oppa)

I really did not expect to love him this much? greenest of green flags (except for the plot line we shall not talk about). can and will kill people and is fine with it (seriously it is so refreshing to see a mafia character not having a huge moral dilemma about being in the mafia). both a badass mafia man and a gamer guy who doesn't know how to talk to people and is absolutely whipped for his gamer bf.

also scars make a person just about 110x more attractive I don't make the rules. even if the scars are weird and yellow, it's the thought that counts.

10) Tian (A Tale of Thousand Stars)

I? love him??

I just love how he sets out to do something for someone he didn't even know because he feels like this person deserves that much at least and how he ends up genuinely loving and caring for those kids and the village and this inner conflict he's having the entire time but hiding oh so well and how he actually calls out his parents on their rich people bs and-

tagging everyone who reads this far and wants to do it. seriously. I mean it. if you want to do this, please go ahead and say I tagged you. I love reading everyone's thoughts.

[ii-evil-confessions]

Do you know any other electrons, neutrons, or protons other than the confessioners :0

YEAH!!!! YOU THINK I HAVE NO LIFE OUTSIDE THE HOUSE???? WELL. I. DONT KNOW WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS

THERE WAS THIS ONE NEUTRON I MET AT A BAR. SHE WAS PRETTY NICE. NEVER GOT HER NAME. DUNNO HOW SHES DOING BUT I HOPE SHES DOING EVILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEN THERE WAS THIS BITCH ASS PROTON WHO USED TO COME SEE ME A LOT AND TALK ABOUT THESE SUPER LONG AND BORING BUSINESS PROPOSALS?????? LIKE I KNEW THAT BITCH ONLY WANTED ME THE WAY HIS FUCKING EYES KEPT SLIDING TO ME LIKE I WAS SOME FUCKING DOLL ON DISPLAY HE WANTED TO PLAY WITH. I HATED THAT BITCH WITH MY FUCKING LIFE I HOPE HE GETS CRUSHED BY A BOULDER

OH!!! ALSO I REMEMBER AN ELECTRON. A GARDENER I THINK. THEY NEVER LIKED MY OLD OWNER BUT THEY HAD TO WORK FOR THEM ANYWAYS BECAUSE THEY SAID THEY NEEDED THE MONEY. THEY WERE SUUUPER COOL THOUGH. THEY HAD THIS SECRET LITTLE EVIL LAIR UNDERNEATH THE GARDEN WHERE THEY GREW ILLEGAL SHIT!!!!!! ILLEGAL SHIT!!!!!! IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!!!!! THEY WERE LIKE "I GREW ALL THIS SHIT BECAUSE I WAS PETTY AND I HATE THIS FUCKING EMPLOYER AND IM CURRENTLY TRYING TO FIND A WAY TO GET THIS BITCH IN TROUBLE WHILE ALSO MAKING SURE NONE OF THEIR WORKERS GET CAUGHT IN THE FALLOUT" AND DAMN. THEY WERE SO FUCKING COOL. DUDE THEY HELPED ME LEAVE TOO THEY WERE JUST THAT FUCKING COOL. THEY TOLD ME TO BE EVIL!!!! BE PETTY FOR THEM!!!!!! SO I DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LAST I HEARD THEY REBIRTHED SHORTLY AFTER I LEFT THOUGH SO LIKE. DAMN

THERE WAS ALSO THIS NEUTRON I USED TO WORK WITH!!! SHE WAS FUCKING AWESOME. BEST PERSON EVER. LITERALLY MY BEST FRIEND OF ALL TIME. EVER!!!! LIKE HOLY SHIT I COULD CRY AND SHE WOULDNT EVEN JUDGE ME. I COULD HAVE MY SUIT SLIGHTLY RUFFLED AND SHE WOULDNT EVEN JUDGE ME. THAT WAS SO FUCKING BIG. MASSIVE WIN!!!!! THIS BITCH (AFFECTIONATE) FUCKING LOOKED OUT FOR ME!!! MADE SURE I ATE WELL!!! MADE SURE I WAS DOING OKAY!!! SHE WAS LIKE A FUCKING MOM TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEST CO WORKER EVER!!!!!!!!!! WED FUCKIN TALK FOR HOURS ABOUT SHIT LIKE BUGS AND BOOKS AND THE PROCESS OF MAKING WOODEN DESKS AND IT WAS SO FUCKING AWESOME. SHIT MAN WHEN I USED TO GET OVERWHELMED IN MY OLD JOB SHE WOULD TAKE OVER FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!! THEN ONE DAY SHE GOT FIRED FOR SOME REASON. NEVER KNEW WHY. I HOPE SHES DOING FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEN THERE WAS MY PREVIOUS OWNER. I DONT REMEMBER THEM VERY MUCH SO THAT MEANS THEY DONT MATTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[moonshynecybin]

oh vale fucking marc in phillip island ‘15 for the first time, promptly freaking out, and latching onto uccio’s bullshit conspiracy just to find a way to drive marc away from himself… phew. you’re a genius i lovee the threesome au..

how would reconciliation work in that universe? would vale see marc getting cozy with an older man at the gala or someplace else and lose his mind? esp if the man has a girl w him who’s eyeing marc up and down? would marc think vale initially wants to go back to the first arrangement instead of just the two of them?

so many of my rosquez aus hinge on the beautiful race that is PI 2015. one of the sexiest races of all time and one where vale decided that marc was actually and genuinely EVIL based on uccio's extremely unbiased and not jealous at all opinion. BUT. uccio has never liked marc. has ALWAYS been suspicious of his and vale's relationship. and i think he would frankly have a LOT more of a leg to stand on if he had tried to break them up after assen 2015 instead imo... which makes me wonderrrr how long the uccio hate campaign had been germinating... whispering in vale's ear... turning the tides... moments in iago history.... etc. and i mean a BIG part of the reason vale's breaking point IS phillip island is because losing that title seemed a lot more realistic (three races left the pressure is ON. and marc is healthy so the field is more competitive) AND it was one of the greatest races of all time (WATCH ITTTT) and marc fucking WON it. vale used to be the kind of bitch who won that sort of thing. so its digging at his ego in lots of little ways that EYE imagine would be hard to swallow, and uccio identifies the chink in vale's armor here and exploits the FUCK out of it.

so i think. if im narrativizing this for gay sex reason which you KNOWWWW i am. that this is kind of the ideal point in a story to have vale flip out as much as possible. really dig into his neuroses. and one of the crazy parts of rosquez isnt JUST that vale is having an ego crisis its that hes having a crisis about CARING ABOUT MARC (also part of the reason it takes as long as it does for the paranoia to set in). thats why it suck so much! marc was his FRIEND ! (and he isnt friends with his rivals !!! think of that video where hes talking about bezz and pecco like. affectionately baffled about why theyre still friends?? this has never happened to him before!!! hes wigging out !!!) and so vale is ALSO heartbroken hereeeeee and thats part of why he gets as fucking mean as he does.

so in THIS au its them finally acknowledging that its not the girls that makes them keep fucking. its THEM. its EARNESTLY wanting each other outside of the heterosexual coolguy masculine just buddies threesomes that theyve been pretending are normal. pretending they havent been engineering them as social acceptable ways to get closer 2 each other. and once they break that seal and theres no more excuses. thats just too close for vale to keep a rival. and he implodes it.

[moonfurthetemmie]

Your rambles about Lucidity (your au's spin on DS!Dream) has had me HOOKED, especially seeing his descent into madness. Also that post about Sweammare??? Love that, i humbly ask thee for more (on my knees begging, actually).

It would also actually be funny to know what Nightmare thinks of Shale and Nightshade... If Nightmare were to (somehow) end up in a relationship with Lucidity, i bet Shale and Nightshade would have many thoughts on that

I also have a feeling they (Shale and Nightshade) would bully Nightmare really hard when Lucidity isn't looking (because Lucidity would NOT want anything happening to Nightmare, but that doesn't mea they can't bully/tease Nightmare a bit when Lucidity isn't looking...)

Anyways, thank you for your thoughts and your story, love it, love everything please keeping making more am so invested rn...

awww thank you :] lucidity’s so fucked up <33

I might be able to give more sweammare but it’ll have to be after work

Nightmare doesn’t trust Shale and Nightshade at all. He’s pretty sure Lucidity’s the reason Shale’s been better about some things, but given what he’s learned about the bastard he’s real sure Shale hasn’t just suddenly decided to draw the line there. And tbh Shale just has the most rancid vibes in general

And Nightshade just…on the outside, he’s the kind of smooth, confident pretty boy that Nightmare might get a huge crush on, but damn near everything he says sets off alarm bells in Nightmare’s head. The fact that he’s close with Shale isn’t help with that. And he, across, and Error have found very little about Nightshade (especially compared to Shale), which makes Nightmare even more suspicious. Just how much is he hiding…?

Shale and Nightshade, on the other hand, probably think Nightmare is cute, in the sense that He Looks Cute and that they think he’s a naïve fool who’d easily manipulated. And once Lucidity gets Nightmare to join his evil polycule, Shale and Nightshade will try to make him stay in the manor, even if they don’t have personal emotional attachments. Aside from other reasons to keep someone around who you think is cute, it would make it a little easier on them and Lucidity if they all knew where he was. Despite Lucidity telling them he’s much more clever than they think, they still severely underestimate him.

They also don’t realize how fricken annoying he’d be (mainly to Shale) if he stops being afraid of them. He doesn’t particularly want to get stabbed for trying to prank either of them, but if he’s convinced they’re chill, then all bets are off. He will test his limits with each of them. He will replace all of shale’s 57 black shirts (exaggeration) with nearly identical ones that he partially bleached. He will steal all of Nightshade’s shoes and hide them around the manor. He’s an agent of fucking chaos and they are not prepared.

Unfortunately for Nightmare, his brand of intentionally annoying is rather similar to Nightshade’s, so as much as Shale’s going to bitch about he’s also becoming more attached to the little shit

They do tease Nightmare a lot, but Nightshade’s teasing is ‘friendly’ because he’s mainly just trying to make Nightmare less and less likely to realize something’s wrong.

Shale’s more of an actual bully, but he’s toeing the line between actual harassment and affectionate teasing (which he pretends isn’t affectionate at all, regardless) for the same reasons Nightshade keeps his teasing sounding friendly

After a certain point, Nightshade and Nightmare’s flirting with each other is just affectionate teasing and the not-too-rare dirty joke.

Nightmare’s favorite way of showing that he likes you is pranking you, so if Shale ever gets fed up with Nightmare’s bullshit and tries to turn the tables-

…well. one, it won’t work, because Shale hasn’t pranked anyone in decades (if ever) and Nightmare has been doing it for decades, so Nightmare sees it coming a mile away. But the fact that he tried at all is very much encouraging Nightmare’s bullshit

so like…TLDR they do like him, but he needs to stay well the fuck away from them for his own good. Not that that’s a surprise; the Jet and Obsidian alts are being manipulative and shit? Whoa…who could’ve guessed…?

And as (I…think?) I said, once Nightmare caves and decides he does want to be with Lucidity (specifically romantically), Lucidity won’t care what Shale and Nightshade do so long as they don’t physically injure (or really upset) Nightmare. So when they start trying to ‘convince’ him to stay in the manor, he’ll pretend he doesn’t see a thing

[artist-heart83]

SMG4 NEW GEN - HOW DO THE KIDS GET ALONG?

Suzy

“My best friends, yippe!”: Hinata, Tanker and Shion.

“Party popper (affectionate)”: Ivy.

“The nicest people I ever meet”: Bobby, Citrus and Mays.

“We are not that close”: Gemma, Kentin, Emi, Alex and Viktor.

“You’re fucking scary, how can my sister be your friend”: Inocy.

“I have enough of this dude”: Hops and Hank.

Ivy

“Panas”: Gemma, Inocy and Kentin.

“Annoying (affectionate)”: Suzy.

“Ouugh babies… must protect them”: Bobby and Agata.

“There are fun to hang out”: Hinata, Shion, Viktor, Emi, Hank, Hops and Citrus.

“Meh”: Alex, Mays, Viktor and Tanker.

Tanker

“They’re the only person that I hang out the most and they’re really nice with me”: Shion

“I kinda like their company”: Suzy, Hinata, Citrus, Emi and Viktor.

“Ehh..”: Hank, Mays, Kentin, Gemma, Ivy and Inocy.

“I don’t like you”: Hops and Alex.

Shion

“My greatest friends, of course! We always hang out”: Suzy, Hinata, Tanker, Kentin and Emi

“These people are great company too”: Citrus, Alex, Mays, Gemma and Ivy.

“I hope I could hang out with them more”: Hank, Hops, Inocy and Viktor.

Gemma

“My friends, the gang”: Ivy, Inocy, Kentin, Hops and Mays.

“If someone hurt this kid, I would murder them”: Bobby, Citrus and Agata.

“I don’t have problem hanging out with you”: Viktor, Emi, Hinata, Suzy, Tanker and Shion.

“This is bitch is so annoying”: Hank and Alex.

Bobby

*He draws a picture of Gemma, there are some words that are hard to read but it says: “big sister, she cares about me :)”*

*He draws Suzy and Ivy and it has another note: “they’re nice with me, Suzy told me stories and Ivy play with me”*

*And lastly he draws Citrus and Mays, the message says: “Orange teach me draw and Mays made me plushies”*

Hinata

“EVERYONE IS MY FRIEND! :D” She said in a cheerful voice.

Inocy

“Evil gang evil gang hehehehe >:)”: Ivy, Gemma, Kentin and Viktor.

“THE LITTLE MAN!!”: Bobby.

“BABY SISTER!!”: Agata

“I like annoying you :)”: Hank, Hops and Tanker.

“Fun to hanging out”: Hinata, Mays, Citrus and Emi.

“Meh”: Suzy, Alex and Shion.

Stella

> I can’t leave the studio, they are afraid that something could happen to me. Yippeee, the cons of being the daughter of a villain.

> I wish my father can show to the smg4 crew that he has changed.

> I know papà Mario wants to protect us, but I wish I could have friends or at least meet my cousins :[

Kentin

“Cool people”: Ivy, Inocy, Gemma, Shion and Emi.

“BABIES!!!”: Bobby and Agata.

“These guys are so fun!”: Hinata, Suzy and Citrus.

“They don’t talk that much with me, but hey they don’t treat me bad either”: Hank, Tanker, Mays and Alex.

Emi

“Really good friends and company”: Alex, Mays, Citrus, Shion and Kentin.

“Oh! You like to hear me talking about my interests? That’s nice”: Suzy, Ivy, Hinata, Viktor and Tanker.

“What a… «interesting» personality of yours”: Hops, Hank, Gemma and Inocy.

Hops

“Besties”: Viktor, Hank and Gemma

“The purest thing in this world”: Citrus, Bobby, Agata and Hinata.

“I like hanging out with you”: Ivy, Inocy and Kentin.

“You’re cool, I guess”: Mays and Shion.

“Yeah yeah yeah, I don’t like you, fuck you”: Suzy, Alex, Tanker and Emi.

Viktor

“My friends, they cared about me”: Hops, Inocy and Hank.

“They don’t treat me bad”: Hinata, Citrus, Mays, Tanker, Emi, Kentin, Gemma and Ivy.

“I can’t hate this child, they’re the purest thing in the world”: Bobby and Agata

“We don’t talk that much but they’re not bad company”: Alex, Shion and Suzy.

Hank

“To this point of my existence I have to learn to tolerate them, because THEY LIKE TO ANNOY ME ALL THE TIME”: Inocy and Hops.

“He is the first friend I ever made and I really glad to meet you man”: Viktor.

“I will die for them, why are they so cute”: Agata and Bobby,

“I mean… they’re nice and cool”: Tanker, Ivy, Emi, Kentin, Citrus, Mays, Shion and Hinata.

“Oh god, I can’t really stand you”: Suzy, Alex and Gemma.

Mays

*They show some pictures of some people and each one have a message*

Gemma: “Thought we don’t hang out often, she is nice with me and also she really appreciates every friendly gesture, one time I gift her a plushie of her and she cried because she never received a gift before”.

Alex: “He talks a lot of crazy stuff but when he is not doing that, we play some video games, mostly cozy ones because those are my favorites”.

Emi: “She really likes to do art and crafts with me, our favorite is crochet and likes to talk with me about the books she read”.

Citrus: “She is the one that I can call best friend, I love her bubbly personality and how she always wants to include me in some things, never change Orange :)”.

Alex

“Oh yeah, those are my friends, I don’t know how they stand me”: Citrus and Mays.

“She is so nice with me, her eyes are beautiful, her soft voice and- WAIT ARE YOU RECORDING THIS?!”: Emi.

“I mean they talk to me but we are not friends”: Hinata, Shion, Kentin and Viktor.

“Can I said these are my investigations? No? Sound weird? Yeah I know”: Hank, Bobby, Tanker, Agata and Ivy.

“Hate is a strong word, so instead I will said: «WHY ARE YOU LIKE THAT?!»”: Inocy, Suzy, Gemma and Hops.

Citrus

“Hiiii! Hello my dear friends!! :D”: Alex, Emi and Mays.

“The silly! I really love this kid”: Bobby.

“Yappers like me :D”: Hinata and Suzy.

“Friendly with me :>”: Ivy, Gemma, Inocy, Shion, Kentin, Tanker, Hank, Viktor and Hops.

Agata

“I mean I don’t hang out much with the other children, the exception are my siblings (Junior, Hank and Inocy) friends,” she said, “there is a huge age gap with all of them, but they’re super nice with me and some of them play with me too”.

[spacemagicandlaserswords]

The Clone Wars 2x10 ‘The Deserter’ Reaction

aka the Rex Chest Episode

The way Grievous says ‘Kenobiiiii’ will never fail to make me laugh

“Any sign of Grievous?” the gesture that goes with this is just, oh Rex

Jesse? Is that Jesse? 

That little smirk from Rex. He knows that Obi-Wan wants first dibs on fighting his frenemy

Cody: “Rex is a smart man.” Obi-Wan: “Indeed. Always thinking on his feet.” Rex: *immediately gets shot*

Also the little glances they exchange during this

Oof that’s gotta hurt. Sniper shot straight to the plastoid covered chest. Poor Rex lying there like a busted pretzel.

Kix, was that you?

I’m guessing the yellow clone is Crys? Why is he yellow instead of 212th gold?

Why does Obi-Wan say “We’ve picked up the scent.” straight down the barrel of the camera? What is this 4th wall break?

Hello Kix!

Jesse got the braincell today. Also Kix’s decidedly confused “Sir” to Jesse was adorable. Wookieepedia lists Jesse as a Lieutenant and with Rex down I’m assuming that means he’s in charge now.

Why are the Twi'lek’s french?

Jesse saying ma’am is sending me

Well Suu is a certified badass. Absolutely no messing with her. 

REX CHEST?!

AND REX WHUMP?!!

Omg his chest and neck and that jaw and those arms and he hurts so prettily and omg I am unwell and cannot be saved help me

I’m guessing the other clone with the tattoo over his left eye is Hardcase? Hi Hardcase! Is he the one with ADHD? I love him already.

Rex flopping around like a fish out of water lmao

Oof that is a nasty bruise on his back. Also his back. And shoulders. And arms. Omg.

Kix telling Rex he outranks him lmao

Rex thighs?! Rex are you wearing nothing but your lower blacks?! That look decidedly grey but anyway. Also, where is the clone bulge? We were robbed.

“You look like my daddy.” FORESHADOWING CLAXON

The way that Kix and Hardcase looked at Rex like, “is this yours?”

There was so much in that “Mmmm” from Suu lol she is so unimpressed

Jesse being told he’s in command while holding a platter of fruit and nodding like a butler at Rex CACKLING

Rex, where are your nipples? Do clones not have nipples? What did the Kaminoans have against nipples? Did we seriously not get clone nipples? Were animated male nipples too much for Lucasfilm and Cartoon Network in the year of our lord 2010? Why are your nipples just slightly darker vague blotches Rex?

Omg Obi-Wan you completely and utterly over the top dramatic bitch (affectionate). Look at him all backlight by the moon looking all dark and mysterious as he hunts down his favourite arch nemesis. 

REX ARMS

Jesus H Christ. My God. Just look at them. Holy fuck. SIR

Also this bit with the farm animal waking him up was hilarious. His wide eyed look of alarm when it was snuffling and licking his face, poor Rex.

Also, Rex Hands? They’re so big. And his fingers are so long. Oh my. Oh no. My brain has already run away with itself.

I may have paused it at the wrong moment but his forearms look hilariously weedy in comparison with the absolute bulging units that are his biceps. 

I know this is supposed to be faux sinister and spooky but do all clones have such lovely beautiful long fingers?

Rex’s spidey senses activated

Cut? Sir? Daddy? Hello? Are all clones just a bulging mass of ripped muscle?

And here we have our philosophical argument for the episode

“Then our children and their children will be forced to live under an evil I can’t well imagine.” Oh no. Oh, Rex. If only you knew.

That was one awkward conversation to have at the family dinner table

Cut was at the Battle of Geonosis? Hmmm I wonder what batch that makes him and how old he is. Especially if Cody wasn’t at the Battle of Geonosis, which we found out in a previous episode. 

Another awkward conversation to have while your kids and wife are just sitting there watching?

Obi-Wan, you are such an overly dramatic bitch. It is hilarious. I love it. A giant Force leap off a tank with multiple somersaults ending in a superhero pose? Really? Also, that poor clone that basically fell out of the exploded tank and was dangling off a bit of it at the end.

Did that clone just shoot an incoming missile out of the air?!

Kids playing outside by themselves? This can only go well. I didn’t realise it at the time but episode 1x2 “Cut and Run” of The Bad Batch did exactly the same thing.

Oop that’s gone well. 

Well Cut clearly hasn’t lost any of his skills from being a clone

Protective Dad Mode Engaged

Also, why is Protective Dad Mode always so damn hot. Hunter does the exact same thing.

Jesse, Hardcase and Kix just absolutely dismantling droids on their speeders

“Always something.” lmao

Cut punching the commando droid and immediately regretting it

So Rex is still just as deadly even with the use of only one arm. 

Poor Rex getting strangled by a commando droid after falling through the floor. Also Cut shooting the droid that was choking Rex was a decidedly badass moment. Thought it did remind me of when Cody basically did the same thing for Crosshair in episode 2x3 ‘The Solitary Clone’ of TBB.

Grievous, did you just try to use a tactical dramatic cape drop on the master of dramatic cape drops himself?

Lol Obi-Wan’s little reach for Grievous. Nooooo come back and fight meeeeee.

Obi-Wan is so pissed that he didn’t get to capture his favourite arch nemesis. He’s having a little sulk. Cody is probably so tired of this shit.

That’s growth right there. Character development time for Rex.

Naw look at Rex riding off into the sunset. Cowboy Rex anyone?

[emblazonet]

Dragonflight

I read that beat up old copy of Dragonflight, a book published 55 years ago, and I truly enjoyed it. Spoilers for an old book follow, so be warned.

Like yeah there's a real 'not like other girls' vibe going on, somewhat mitigated at the beginning by Lessa feeling shame over how she misjudged Gemma, and then made worse by whatever the fuck is going on with that Kylara character. She's never on screen but everyone hates her because she's promiscuous or something? Dunno what's up with that. So like, yeah, gender stuff's weird, but also Pern's entire politics and economy rotate around telepathic dragons and evil spores, so, you know, it's a wacky fantasy. Whatever.

So many people, on telling them I found some battered Pern books in a Little Free Library, warned me that there's Bad Sex in these books, watch out! Well, I've read exactly one (1) Pern book, and I loved whatever the hell was happening. The dragons get horny so now their telepathic humans are horny? So now the two main characters who can't stand each other are fucking because telepathy? UH YES SIGN ME THE FUCK UP. I am so fucking here for this batshit scenario. It's not hatesex but it borders it. It's sex pollen by way of adorable dragons who fuck. I'm eating it up with a spoon. Now, sure, F'lar is like 'wtf I think I raped her' but in Lessa's pov she pretty much never dwells on it, so I think McCaffrey's actual intent was to give you the impression that F'lar is overreacting a bit because he has Feelings he won't admit, and while he's a smug jerk but he's not that bad, he's worried. You could if you want read this as textual rape? But I don't. I view this as Lessa being a practical and unlikeable bitch(affectionate) of a character, for whom sex is just not high on her priority list. She certainly wants to bang him later on. And because it wasn't a standard romance and the focus wasn't really on their courtship but rather the silly time travel plot, I actually enjoyed Lessa and F'lar as a couple. If I knew them IRL, I'd probably want to smack them, they're horribly emotionally stunted. But I got really invested in their slow reluctant growing respect for each other. Honestly so far Pern has the energy of a child making up a giant war for their toys, and incidentally smacking whatever figures they're using for their protagonists together and going, 'haha, they're kissing!'. Also, dragons. 9/10 can't wait to read more.

[sunlight-allergy]

death note tomodachi collection escapades

hi tumbly dot com so i started playing a (100% ""legal"" i promise) english romhack of tomodachi collection recently using death note characters as my islanders because im hyperfixating like crazy. here r some of the silly moments ive encountered so far (screenshots below the cut)

awww the skrunkly!!!! i made light & L first of course . here they are hanging out being silly

they got into a fight fucking IMMEDIATELY lmfaoooo (canon)

its ok they made up and i forced them to go on a silly little vacation together to celebrate !!!! (they hate it here)

of course he'd say that. what is wrong with you (affectionate)

literally a day later and HELLO???? ALREADY???? COMPLETE 180 FROM YESTERDAY WHAT A PLOT TWIST (pretends to be shocked) (we all knew this was going to happen)

i made him confess in the most egotistical-god-complex-light-yagami-ass way possible. AND IT. WORKED ????

HE HIT HIM WITH THE "k" LMFAOOOO

anyways love is real after all theyre dating now. lawlight so canon this is proof

horrible awful fucked up and evil couple i love them so much. i am holding them like dolls and making them smooch. this is the lowest compatibility percentage out of literally anyone else on the island so far btw and i find that fact egregiously funny

in character as fuck also thats adorable. ANYWAYS lawlight shenanigans aside

i added beyond birthday and Immediately gave him the jail cell apartment interior. this decreased his happiness meter significantly and i laughed maniacally like an utter fiend

i unlocked the job diagnosis minigame and it swapped kiyomis and misas professions lmaoooo. i mean close enough right

also they got a 100% on the compatibility tester which is. really fucking funny to me considering

tested mello and near too and yeah thats canon as fuck. the low-poly mii heads transposed over even lower-poly business casual pngs also makes me cackle every time i see it

matt is here too! i gave him a nintendo ds and he wont stop playing it. seriously every fucking time i check in his apartment he's gaming it's honestly really funny. him and his singular hobby <3

of course he does (eyeroll) not mello viewing making friends as a COMPETITION jesus christ (he still has 0 friends as of me writing this. he is the only islander to have absolutely no relationships whatsoever and i find this fact incredibly amusing)

naomi and beyond are friends now !!!! i am going to make them besties if it is the last thing i do i swear to god it is Happening.

LOOK AT HIS ""BIG SMILE"" GUYS ISNT HE ADORABLE :33333 (he has CHRONIC DEBILITATING resting bitch face it is a PROBLEM)

light...... mikami and matsuda are Right There........ just watched two peoples hearts get utterly fucking shattered in real time

anyways these are all the screenshots i have accumulated thus far. i will keep you deathnoters updated please enjoy

[whatsaudreythinkingabout]

Idk if u d0 r0mantic headcanons but… Dating Matthew Patel headcanons

I haven’t done romantic headcanons before (at least in terms of “x reader” stuff) but I’ll give it my best shot!

Quick disclaimer: I am a lesbian who is very much not attracted to men, so I’m approaching this from a purely objective standpoint just to get a better idea of how I interpret his personality & overall approach to relationships (& it’ll also help me flesh out my MattLee headcanons so I can get a clearer idea of their dynamic in my head)

So anyway:

Dating Matthew Patel

As I mentioned in my previous post about Matt (which you can find in the tags), after what happened with Ramona he became hesitant to pursue another romantic relationship because he figured it would only end badly, so he started to play up the whole “mysterious brooding loner” schtick so people would leave him alone. Unfortunately, this only attracted him more attention because 1. he was trying way too hard so it just made him come off as overdramatic and 2. there was a select group of girls in his grade who thought he was secretly a vampire and took him rebuffing their advances as “playing hard to get” (yeah this all technically takes place before Twilight [and by extension the vampire craze] comes out but it’s my headcanon & I’m allowed to have a little fun).

If he did catch feelings for someone, he’d probably start out repressing them pretty heavily like the angsty little bitch he is. He talks a pretty big game for someone who claims they’re so slick, but when the time comes to actually tell someone how he feels he shuts down & it would probably take him a while to work up the nerve to confess.

Either that, or he’d come in overconfident with some kind of ridiculous pick-up line, then cringe at himself on the inside whenever he inevitably crashes and burns.

However, once he does finally feel comfortable enough with a partner, he would be completely and utterly OBSESSED. This man is first and foremost a theatre kid, so he is dramatic as fuck and not afraid to show it. Expect a lot of big, flashy, over-the-top romantic gestures; gifts, food (I do HC him to be a good cook), nice dates, fully-choreographed musical numbers—you name it.

It’s been said that the difference between being in love with a hero vs. a villain is that a hero would sacrifice you to save the world, but a villain would sacrifice the world to save you. Matt might be more of an edgelord than a true villain (no matter how much he claims he’s totally evil, yeah sure you are), but regardless he would burn the entire world down if it meant the person he loved would be warm.

It’s also been demonstrated that for all his big talk he has a pretty fragile ego, so he’d fall apart at the slightest indication that you were mad at him. Just totally pathetic (/affectionate) malewife guyfailure energy

Overall he acts all doom & gloom on the outside but when he does love someone, he’d both die and kill for them

honestly that’s about all i got for right now. i might come up with more later but it’s a lot easier for me to do these types of things for female characters bc women

[mermaidsirennikita]

Anne Stuart's Shadow Dance continues to make me:

--Valerian, the brother who's been disguised in drag to escape murder charges while falling in love with a bluestocking, Sophie, ended up in a "there was only one bed" situation with her and because she's a dumbass (affectionate) he was just able to get away with it by wearing a veil most of the time (because of the stubble) however Sophie is having what she thinks is a lesbian awakening so she's kissed him through the veil TWICE

--kissing through veil = super hot

--on the "girl in drag but he absolutely has known the entire time" side of the book, Juliette's evil husband (who never managed to put it in) is back so she's all "HE SHALL NEVER HAVE MY MAIDENHEAD" so she trudges over to Phelan's room all "FUCK ME" and he's like ".... sure" which is how he reacts to literally every dramatic thing this bitch has done in this novel, which means I LOVE him, the Bored Top energy this man has is iNCREDIBLY written

--obviously he is also, much to his chagrin, very twisted up in the game and trying to hide it

--he also doesn't know she's a virgin, naturally, so he's very "AS YOU KNOW" about sex, and she's like "right yeah I know about sex, the thing I have had"

--but what REEEEALLY made me want to make this post is that as he's licking down her body he goes

"YOU WENT SWIMMING TODAY"

again:

--and I want to emphasize... these LITTLE DETAILS are what is missing from a lot of the trope factory books being written right now; like the throwaway shit, not "touch her or die" or "she calls him daddy" or whatever

--the little shit, like this dude licking this woman and going "YOU TASTE LIKE YOU JUST CAME OUT OF THE OCEAN AND I'M INTO IT"

--or some desperately confused baby bisexual (because lol regardless of Valerian being a dude.... there ain't no WAY Sophie is straight) kissing her seemingly married older woman friend through a veil and being all "as friends who are girls do!"

--we also did get another fabulous Surprise Virgin moment where he stops mid-putting it in and looks at her and goes, in effect, "are you FUCKING kidding me"