#this evening has had a lot of thots holy hell

[bettyfrommars]

hi loves

a wee announcement/bit of reflection below the cut

nothing heavy, just some thoughts & updates

First of all, I want to say I love this fandom so much. Truly I do. It has carried me though possibly the hardest, loneliest year of my life (and this ol' girl has been though some dark times). I've made friendships here that I hope to cherish for the rest of my life.

I came into fanfiction in October of last year, after not writing anything substantial for almost a decade. My dear friend at the time said she was looking for a specific Eddie Munson story, so I wrote it for her. I wrote it in first person because I didn't even understand how "reader perspective" was a thing, that's how wet behind the ears I was to this world. My friend, on the other hand, is a well-versed fic reader, and I distinctly remember messaging her like, "okay, what the hell is a Y/N??"

I spent that entire dark, cold winter writing and passing it to her in parts like notes in a classroom. The rush of getting back to something I loved so deeply after so much time away turned me into a monster. I lived and breathed that story. We sent endless messages back and forth every day about what each character would do next, imagining ourselves in that world, with Eddie. We made playlists, we cried. We screamed and giggled and kicked our feet when they finally kissed. We mourned the loss when it ended and moped around a bit before going back to read it all over again. Some 40k words and four months later I realized, holy shit, I think I write fanfiction now?

In a way, fanfiction saved my life. It brought me back to a part of myself I had buried, a part of me that worried it might never see the light of day again. It came crawling out of the ground, gasping for air like, "you better stretch your fingers bitch because I have a lot to say."

In April, I started posting here when the fandom was notably beginning to wane, but I was happy to see there were so many still going hard for our man. I kinda creeped in, like a little scuttling crab, and was grateful to find that a handful of you embraced me.

Long story short, I am NOT leaving, not at all. I know the tone is there, but that is not what this is, lmao. I will hopefully keep this blog for as long as you will have me. I plan to finish writing I'm on Fire and Death Becomes Us, as well as maybe another bit for gargoyle!Eddie, and nightmare!Eddie, but the other series I've started (or planned to start) will stay on hiatus for a while, possibly forever. I will continue to post blurbs and hc's and whatnot, but I won't be committing to any new series or long fics.

My masterlists will remain intact for the time being for those who want to enjoy what is there. That being said, The Nightmare Factory and Stop the World and Melt with You, might be taken down in the future only because I plan to re-work them into original stories. I have a second non-fandom blog in the works that is dedicated to monsters, nightmares, and magic realism, and I will let those who are interested know about it when the time comes.

Mostly, I wanted to let you know that, even if you notice some changes, I will continue to persist with "My 2 Joe's" delulu era, possibly until the earth swallows me up. I am no longer taking requests, but my asks will always be open for thots, blurbs, obsessions, etc. You know how much I love hearing from you.

That's all really. Perhaps this is simply one of those "end of year" thought dumps, but I also wanted to say a heartfelt Thank You to those who continue to support me, enjoy my work, and share it. My Ride or Die monsterfuckers and biker Eddie enthusiasts. My nightmare Eddie dreamers, my Twilight Zone Eddie pineapple heads. My gargoyle Eddie romantics who cheer on our Stone Boy, and my Hybrid Steve lovers who leave their windows open at night. My True Blood friends who appreciate a vampire Eddie who is nothing like Bill Compton. My darlings, my fellow rebel rousers and misfits, my friends.

This is a very symbiotic relationship, and I could not/would not do this without you ❤️

[sebsxphia]

Back to share some thots about dom Jake sharing u with Coyote. Ur spread out on the bed for him n he's already fucked u so good u know u will be sore tomorrow. U think he'll untie u now, but he opens the door n Coyote walks in w/ a wicked smile. Ur looking at him wondering what's going on n he's just smirking at u. "U thought I was rough, sugar? I was goin easy on that sweet little pussy." You gulp as Coyote positions himself over u on the bed. "Be good for the nice lieutenant," Jake coos in ur ear. Coyote takes u hard n fast as Jake watches from the corner telling you, "My wingman's gonna give you a nice little limp, baby doll." ~🍬 anon

I’M GONNA FUCKING S(CREAM) YOU KEEP US SO FED 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

you would’ve agreed with hangman that you wanted to have another person, but he never told you when or where it was going to be.

but i just know. know and feel this in my BONES and hangman and coyote have this unspoken agreement with each other to always fuck their s/o till they’re a babbling mess.

thank you so so so much for this incredible thot as always my beloved anon!! mwah!! 💌💖🫶🏼

[buckmepapi]

Desperate || Bucky Barnes drabble

Smutty drabble time BaYBEEE

A/N: not proofread.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x f!avenger!reader

Warnings: heavy heavy disgusting depraved smut, needy!feral!bucky, lots of dirty talk, creampie. 18+ minors DNI

main masterlist | about | navi | library

Just thinking depraved, sinful thots about Bucky and how much he cums.

Like he cums. A lot. He hasn’t had sex since the 40s, he’s touch depraved, needy, starved, desperate to cum in something that isn’t his tight fist or his fleshlight imagining it was you bouncing on top of him.

So when you were both screaming at each other over your carelessness on a mission, as soon as the jet landed he dragged you to his room and shoved you against the door. Ragged hot breaths against each other turned into you lunging at him pressing your soft lips on to his, as soon as you did, he couldn’t take it anymore, and you began to claw at each other’s clothes as you fumbled to the floor right by the doors entryway.

And he’s not ashamed of how loud he is. He’s too lost in the pleasure of how tight and wet your walls feel to even notice let alone care about the things he’s whispering in your ear as he ruts into you.

“Oh fuck goddamn” his deep baritone voice groaning into your ear sends a pleasant shockwave throughout your body causing your walls to contract around him, his hips stuttering at the unexpected tightness of your heat “Jesus shit, baby, this fucking pussy, holy shit!” His hips begin to pick up a frantic pace, increasingly needy as he buries his face in your neck and whimpers.

He hasn’t felt this good in forever. Bucky can’t remember if sex ever felt this good before you. From the first thrust into your tight hole, he knew he’d be whipped for you.

“Baby, please don’t stop” he cries into your neck as you wrap your legs around him squeezing him further , groaning loudly as he thinks about how you’re essentially trapping him into you with no escape, and by god Bucky doesn’t think he could leave even if he wanted to. “Never stop” he whispers under his breath, your manicured hand clutches his lucious brown locks as you pull him closer into your neck, your right hand reaches to grab at the muscled skin of his back, scratching your nails down him so hard that he hisses as he slightly bleeds “never stop giving me this fucking pussy. Let me have it baby. Let me have it always. God I never wanna leave baby baby baby”. His words begin to slur together as if drunk off the nectar you’ve provided and at the thought of this big burly deadly man losing all his inhibitions, burying himself inside of you tutting against you frantically, rhythm faltering, whimpering and moaning and clinging on to you so fucking tight like a feral animal lost in the throws of heat. His mind is gone. There’s no rational thought. Only the thought of your soaking wet and greedy pussy and all the glory it has to offer him. It’s dirty, filthy and it’s primal. Fucking you on the dirty floor like an animal. To desperate to have each other to care where you are. Fuck. Girls in the 40s weren’t like this, so when you scream and moan all sorts of disgusting filth in his ears he loses it. Not even caring if he’s hurting you, or going to deep, his only mission is to use you like a fucktoy, taking what he wants from your body,

“Daddy, your big fat cock is so fucking deep inside me” you moan as you grab him by his ass cheeks, unbuckled pants still around his meaty thighs, you begin to push him into you desperate to have his thick cock reach into the depths of your soul.

“Babygirl…” Bucky can’t believe what he’s hearing. Did he die and go to heaven? His dream girl; taking his cock so fucking well, better than anyone has ever taken it before, and saying things he didn’t even knew he needed. He growls as he lifts you legs up, his inner elbows fitting under each of your knees, pushing your legs till they each your head, he groans at your incredible flexibility “shitting hell” he keeps your legs pinned by your head as your ass rises, further presenting your holes to him as he rises slightly to plunge deeper into you, his legs extended wide, balancing on the tips of his toes as he slams into you, the sound of skin on skin smacking without remorse reverberates throughout the hallway and with how hard and fast he’s going, probably throughout the whole compound too.

Sweat is dripping from his browline and landing on your chest as his head is dipped low to watch your stretched walls grip his cock everytime he pulls out to slam back in again.

“Daddy please, daddy daddy, please can I cum on your cock” you’re screaming as he begins to go almost seemingly impossibly faster.

His breath is getting heavier with each word that leaves your lips, he can’t believe he has you cumming without even touching you, he’s in awe of how perfect you really are. Your words have him glaring into your eyes with savage intent as he locks his jaw and growls “baby you’re taking me so fucking well, I can’t believe it, your pussy is a work of art baby girl, I want you to cum for me, no I need you to fucking for me, I want to feel your juices all over me, give me that fucking cream baby girl, cream on daddy’s big fat cock and he’ll fill you so good you’ll be feeling him so deep, dripping out of you for days”

You begin to wail and scream gripping him hard as he slams his metal hand to the wall by the door, a dent forming around his closed fist

“Bucky! Bucky!” You scream. If no one heard you both before, they definitely heard you now from the holes Bucky has punched into the wall trying to stop himself from cumming first.

“Come on baby, I can’t hold on any longer” he pleads as he places his left hand on your face, caressing your cheek, wiping your tears, a stark contrast to how he’s currently railing into you as if your insides aren’t being torn a part by this Adonis of a man. “Y/n I need you to cum, you’re so close I can feel it. please fucking cum, I’m begging you sweetheart, I need to fill you, need to claim you from the inside”

Suddenly his words catapult you over the edge, you’re seeing stars behind your eyes, they’re rolling back into your head, your mouth hung open as you feel your legs go slack around his hands, they’re shaking violently as you drool. “Oh god baby, fucking squirting on my cock” he whines as he buries his face in your neck again “thank you thank you thank you ah ah ah aAH fuck I’m gonna fucking cum baby” Bucky might as well be talking to himself at this point because you’re so far gone from your earth-shattering orgasm and the high pitched screams you’re letting out as he’s shown you absolutely no mercy in his pace since you came , you are in your own world, you can’t feel anything but his thick cock kissing your cervix as he seeks to claim you.

“Ah ah ah shit shit shiiit, you’re gonna make me bust a big fat load in you baby, I’m sorry baby there’s gonna be so much cum ah ah shit shit the serum it i - it , shit, you can take it though b-baby. Yeah baby, you’ll take it , I’m gonna flood your fucking pussy with all my fucking cum yeah ah ah ~” buckys head falls back , his eyes rolling back too as he screams , unabashed, primal, “oh fuck baby I’m cumming I’m fucking cumming. Here it cummmmssssss” he says through gritted teeth as he suddenly stops, buries himself deeper, his muscled legs going stiff with tension as they then begin to shake, there’s a deadly silence from him as he then suddenly screams “AH SHIT” as he collapses, his member engorges, and thick white gallons of cum burst rapidly in quick succession out of his reddened tip. He ruts into you gently, ropes and ropes of cum still spilling into you “oh god I’m still fucking cumming oh god” he begins to pick up the pace of his rutting as he moans further, you’re clinging to him again, close to squirting all over him again. He’s pounding into you again, his cum has finally stopped pouring into you but he’s seeking another barely before his last has finished. He can’t get enough. And with just a few more pumps he’s screaming again, his cock is extra sensitive that it’s bordering on painful but he doesn’t care he’s desperate to poor his load into you one more time.

“Daddy please come in me I’ve been such a good girl; I’m your best girl daddy please give me your cream I want it please please cum inside me”

“Shit baby ah shit I’m fucking cumming again, take my fucking kids, baby” he screams as his fist slams into the floor besides your head as he snarls. His words catapult you over the edge again and before you know if you’re joining in the symphony of screams, milking him for all he’s worth, prolonging his life-changing orgasm as you drain his balls dry.

You both collapse into each other in a heap on the floor as his panting begins to subside, you both just stay there holding on to each other for dear life, afraid to move, afraid to let go, wanting to live in this moment forever. And for the first time in a long time, Bucky is at peace.

———

A/N: THIS WAS SUPPOSE TO HE A DRABBLE. CLEARLY IVE LOST MY FUCKING MIND AND NEED TO SEEK MEDICAL HELP. GOODBYE IM EMBARRASSED

Kill me

[spvce-cowboy]

Requests and those prompt pages you shared make me go full on thot...but soft

Frankie with "when one of them has never had a proper birthday party for whatever reason, and their lover makes it their mission to give them the best day ever, followed by “you didn’t have to do all this for me. just being with you is enough.” “i know. but i thought you deserved ?’’ and their lover smiles, a kiss is shared"

And maybe the dialogue prompt "I wanted to say I love you for the first time without stuttering, but that failed"

Is that too much? Too weird? I'd be happy for either one :)

soft thots are the best thots no one can convince me otherwise 😌😌😌

i added a lil... somethin somethin to this bc i honestly just couldn’t resist.

--

frankie always lets his birthday pass quietly. it’s been that way since you’ve met him--he usually preferred a quiet night out with his friends, maybe ordering some nice meal in, but never anything big. 

he firmly resisted your suggestions of throwing a party in celebration for the first two years you were together, not adamantly, but with enough gentle insistence that you knew to back off. you could tell that there was some weight there, something unspoken that made him dark and moody during the week that lead up to the day, but you figured he’d let you know on his own time, if ever.

so you’re more than a little nervous for the surprise dinner you had spent the past month planning. you’d coordinated his whole crew to fly back to Texas for his birthday weekend, figured maybe after the year Frankie had had it would be a nice break, if not to celebrate then to distract. 

you made the delta force boys well aware of it, that if he didn’t want to do anything official the lot of your would play along without insisting anything more. the sparklers and cake you were hiding in the kitchen was purely optional, depending on how you read Frankie’s mood after the surprise reveal.

you’re all nerves for the entire day leading up to the party. luckily, Frankie is out of the house for most of it, and you told him you’d take him to a fancy dinner so he’d come pick you up from the apartment straight from work, already dressed in the suit jacket and button-down you’d picked out for him.

the boys and their dates help you with the last of the preparations--you’ve spent most of the day cooking, so they set up the table while you change into a pair of heels and Frankie’s favorite sundress of yours. you take one calming breath before stepping out of your bedroom and back into the fray.

the click of the lock sliding back is the only warning you get as Frankie shoulders the door open. his hands are busy with something and he has his back turned to you as he throws his keys on the side-table by the door.

“hey, sweetheart--listen i called the restaurant about our reservation and they said they didn’t have anything down under your name so i made something for--”

and he freezes, eyes wide with utter disbelief at the scene in front of him.

you’re in the center of the gathered group, made up of the delta force crew as well as some other friends from work. the house is warm with the smell of dinner, with a few, sparse decorations mostly consisting of candles and thin, paper wall hangings.

you give him your biggest possible smile as you and your guests burst out in a synchronous:

“happy birthday!”

the grin Frankie gifts you with is enough to have made all the anxious planning worth it. he crosses the distance between the two of you in a few quick strides. cradled in the crook of his arm is a bouquet of flowers, which he hands to you with a still-shocked “thank you, baby,” after kissing your cheek. then the boys start crowding around him in a mass of back-clapping hugs and loud laughter.

once he makes his rounds to greet everyone and finishes the beer Santi placed in his hand as soon as he handed you the bouquet, Frankie places a hand at the small of your back and ducks his head to speak directly into your ear.

“can i talk to you for a second, on the balcony?” 

there’s a quavering quality of seriousness in his tone that catches you utterly off-guard. you lick you lips and try to feign a confident smile as you nod, leading the way. you can practically hear your own heartbeat, a frantic pulse in your ears.

he clears his throat after closing the sliding glass doors behind himself. your eyes widen further as you realize he’s flexing his hands in that way that he does when he’s trying to get them to stop shaking.

your heart drops to the pit of your stomach as he guides you away from the doors and into the sequestered corner of the balcony, where you’d spent the better half of last week replanting your pollinator bushes in preparation for the summer. the bulbed fairy lights he’d helped you install last summer were still holding up, casting the balcony in warm hues of pink and orange. your brain seems to work on over-time, utterly unsure of what the fuck could possibly be going on. 

“first, i just want to thank you for planning all of this. it um--i really wasn’t expecting it, so, surprise well planned and all,” he gives a nervous laugh, rubbing his hand over the lower half of his face as his eyes flick towards the flood of light emanating from the living room on the other side of the sliding doors. in the quiet that follows, you can barely hear the chatter of music and conversation from the people inside because you genuinely can’t read the pained expression on Frankie’s face right now and that has literally never happened before and honestly you’re utterly terrified. 

because it sure as hell felt like he was about to give you an ultimatum.

so you do what you always do whenever you get freaked out. you start to babble.

“listen, i--i’m really sorry, i know you usually like to keep things low key and everything but Santi texted me that he was thinking of coming up and surprising you so then i thought that maybe i could reach out to the whole team too but i can totally tell them to leave and you guys can just do your own thing and--” you cut yourself off because the look he’s giving you now is just confused. you take in a gulp of air, these next words just as rushed as the previous ones were. “please don’t break up with me.”

Frankie’s jaw hangs open for a second.

and then he starts laughing.

full-body laughing, his face breaking out into that great big smile that you were so relieved to see not even a half-hour ago. but now you’re as confused as he once was.

“i was... i was going to do this later tonight, over dinner but, given the circumstances...” he’s trying to fish something out of his suit jacket’s pocket.

the realization slams into you like a brick wall.

because holy shit he’s trying to fish something out of the suit jacket pocket.

you half realize what’s happening and you half don’t, because he’s balancing a small velvet box in the palm of his hand which he holds in the space between the two of you like he’s cradling a small bird and holy fuck you were absolutely in no way prepared for this of all things.

you think he knows as much because when you look up at him with tear-filled eyes, your hand raised to your mouth in shock, he has a bit of a sheepish look on his face.

“i know it’s a lot,” he clears his throat. “and you don’t have to say yes right away but i just... i wanted to let you know that if you wanted this, it would make me the luckiest man in the world to be able to give it to you. whenever you’re ready and i--i’d love to be able to celebrate this,” he opens the box. the ring is beautiful, simple but delicate and understated and perfect. absolutely perfect. “to celebrate us around this time of year, too. i’d love that more than anything.”

“i--Frankie,” you rip your gaze from the ring in his palm, lip wobbling as your tears begin to fall. christ, you had no idea how full your heart would feel. you thought, in fantasy, that you would but it was nothing compared to this. “Frankie, i wanted tonight to--” 

“you don’t have to say anything now, if you don’t want to,” his words are as rushed as you feel, a bit frantic. “i understand if it’s too much for right i just thought i should make my intentions--”

you shut him up with a kiss.

“yes,” your voice is infinitely firmer than you expected it to be, you kiss him again, as if it could serve as punctuation. “yes, yes--a million times, yes.”

he laughs against your mouth in turn, wrapping both arms around your waist and lifting you up in the air without breaking the kiss. 

placing you gently on the ground, both your and Frankie’s hands are shaking so hard that he can barely put the ring on you. it sits on your ring-finger perfectly. you can’t bring yourself to take your eyes off of it for more than a second. neither can he.

someone turns the music up inside, the heightened volume of chatter is the only thing to break your combined reverie.

Frankie tucks you into his side with an arm slung over your shoulders, kissing the crown of your head. there’s a rare ease to his posture that you can already see yourself getting used to. 

“let’s see if they notice,” he whispers in your ear with a mischievous wink. you don’t think you’ve ever seen his eyes so bright. grinning, you lean further into his side. the two of you step back into the living room.

[finn-ray-nal-beads]

i seriously will not be able to stop thinking about your Daddy Clyde holy hell you write him so beautifully. ugh Daddy's so gritty and dirty and just the right amount of meannnn ugh i hate you and love you at the same time. that piece stressin' me tf out ugh i really n e e d more of it lmao

A/N: @ohdamnadamm AS PER YOUR REQUEST DARLIN’ I COOKED UP A FILTHY ASS FUCKIN’ NUGGET FROM THE INNER MECHANISMS OF MY MIND (AND THANKS TO @in-silks-and-flesh-and-leather FOR HER DAD BOD FIC FOR THE LOVE OF PETE IM SO HARD FOR THAT AMAZING THOT, BLESS YOU ITS BEEN RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND FOR 48 HRS STRAIGHT AND IVE READ IT UPWARDS OF TWENTY TIMES) IM NOT SORRY IN THE SLIGHTEST. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT, SWEET BABE! 

Warnings: Daddy kink, BJ’s, ball-sucking, choking, cumshots, cum eating, unprotected sex, dirty talk and LOTS OF IT, teasing, marking, breeding kink, hair pulling, scratching, just pure fuckin’ hot sweaty porn, no plot whatsoever, SMUT SMUT SMUT AND MORE FUCKIN’ CLYDE LOGAN SMUT. 

The hot sun beat down in the small trailer located in the boonies of West Virginia, the AC had decided to take a shit early that mornin’, sendin’ your big bear to go to the Home Depot for some tools to fix it right up for his baby doll. 

You sat, perched on the couch in nothin’ but your little pink thong, and laced up bralette, sweatin’ to high heaven as you waited for your tin foil knight to return and save the heat stroke you had been sufferin’ since damn near five in the mornin’. 

“Jesus fuck,” you exhaled, rubbin’ more sweat off your soakin’ tits, pullin’ your hair into a sticky mess of a bun as you fanned yourself over the hot August fog that settled in the small quarters. 

“I’m just fuckin’ parched as all hell,” gettin’ up from the couch, makin’ your way to the fridge to stick your head in the freezer for some relief, only to find your savin’ grace for the next twenty minutes or so, a box of red-white-n-blue rocket pops. 

“Oh fuck me!” reachin’ for them as you tore the box open like a feral cat, rippin’ the packagin’ and shovin’ that popsicle into your gapin’ mouth, a moan emittin’ throughout the room as you savored the icy cold of the frozen delicacy. 

Just then, the door shuffled open to let your hulk of a man in from the blisterin’ heat of the day, his white t-shirt stained in tit sweat, and his brimmed ball cap sweat covered too. He dropped the bag on the floor, airin’ out his shirt as he looked around for your pretty little figure. 

“Baby girl?” concerned you weren’t in his line of sight, inchin’ towards the kitchen, “where ya at?” peerin’ around the partition to see the hottest thing he’d seen all damn day. You perched on the kitchen counter, tits completely sweat covered, legs spread open like a porn star, and a bomb pop slidin’ in and out of your perfect lips, the colored juices drippin’ down your chin into the valley of your chest as you eyeballed him from the livin’ room. 

“What’s ma perty lil’ baby doin’ on the counter, huh?” movin’ over to you as he wiped his sweat covered face with his t-shirt, exposin’ his precious belly and shinin’ tits. 

“Ya know it’s dangerous ta be on the counter like that baby doll,” panderin’ as he rubbed your soft thighs, bendin’ down to kiss and suck on the skin as you thrust the popsicle in and out of your mouth, not losin’ the slightest bit of eye contact, “wouldn’t want daddy’s precious baby girl ta get herself hurt, now, would we?” ghostin’ his lips over your succulent and swollen cunt. 

“Mhmm,” whinin’ out at his touches on your sensitive skin, forcin’ the treat down your open throat even more, “‘m sorry daddy,” moanin’ as he lifted his head to smirk at your fuck me face. 

“I don’t think yer sorry in the slightest darlin’,” gigglin’ as he stood to his full height, leanin’ in to grip the empty stick from your mouth, tossin’ it on the floor, “I think ya like bein’ a lil’ brat, don’t ya baby girl?” tiltin’ your chin to meet his searin’ gaze as he pushed his lips onto yours, sighin’ as he pulled you flush to him, inhalin’ your sweet scent as the kiss deepened. 

“Ya know what kinda punishment lil’ brats get?” he pulled away, grippin’ your hair to wrench your head back up to his, suckin’ marks on your neck as he gathered you in his huge arms. 

“No, daddy, I don’t,” bitin’ your lip at the pain of his ministrations on your pulse, “p-please tell me what I get,” moanin’ as he pulled your hair tighter and tighter. 

Liftin’ his head back up, starin’ into your eyes, “get off the damn counter and assume yer position in front a the couch baby girl,” lettin’ go of your head as he watched you slide down off your perch to slink into the livin’ room, your ass red from the duration of your stay on the linoleum lined top as he watched it sway with your hips, completely entranced. 

“Like this daddy?” bendin’ down on your knees, as he slid himself in front of the lip of the couch to gaze at your pretty little face beggin’ to be fucked. Your hands behind your back, head cocked up to meet his stare, tits pushed out, nipples peaked, and your vision on him and him only. 

“Stick that lil’ tongue out baby girl,” fumblin’ with his belt and zipper as he watched you present the organ as requested, “daddy wanna see his lil’ cumbucket,” releasin’ his half hardened cock to sit on the couch like the king he was. He reached his hand to pull on the appendage, a moan emittin’ from your throat as he motioned you closer with it. 

“Yer gonna suck ma cock until yer cryin’ for air baby girl,” musin’ as you lowered your face to his large balls, nuzzlin’ your nose in the softness and musk envelopin’ them in his aura. 

“Yes, daddy,” whisperin’ as you pecked tiny kisses on them, “I wanna be a good girl fer you,” lickin’ the skin like a kitten. 

“Mhmm,” he moaned out, his balls twitchin’ at your movements on them, “yer such a good girl fer yer daddy,” praisin’ as you sucked one into your mouth, tuggin’ on the skin and rollin’ your tongue around the sac. 

“Mmm, ya taste so good daddy,” movin’ to the other testicle to mimic the motions just as good as the other, savorin’ his manly scent as you made out with his scrotum, his cock wavin’ like a flag in the sky as you tugged on the other ball. 

“G-god d-damn,” he cooed, grippin’ your head to lift you up from his sac, “that’s enough a that baby girl,” lust blown as he rubbed the sides of your temples, causing your eyes to roll back in your head as he lowered your lips to his weepin’ tip. 

“Now yer gonna take this cock baby girl,” gazin’ at the sight of you foamin’ at the mouth under his larger than life dick, “go on ‘n suck yer daddy,” shovin’ your perfect little mouth onto his achin’ dick, revelin’ in the gaggin’ sounds you made as he pushed your head completely down on him. 

“Open up fer me baby girl,” gaspin’ as your jaw went slack over his throbbin’ cock, “there ya go darlin’,” praisin’ as you sped up your sloppy gyrations on him. 

“S-such a p-perty lil’ cumbucket,” watchin’ as the spit fell in globs on his jeans, and the tears spilled from your eyes over his girth, “what a g-good baby girl daddy has,” throwin’ his head back in pleasure as you sucked your cheeks in, rollin’ your tongue on the underside of his veiny dick.

“Daddy’s gettin’ close baby girl,” he panted out as you adjusted your angle to hit your uvula just the right way, causin’ an animalistic moan to reverberate on the thin walls of the trailer. 

“I-I’m,” shovin’ your head off his cock, causin’ a huge gasp for air to leave your lips and wide eyes to meet your man as he palmed his red angry cock in his hand. 

“Open yer perty mouth baby girl!” growlin’ out as the largest stream of semen you’d ever seen squirt from his head, landin’ on your tongue, tits, and chin. 

“Motherfuck-k,” he palmed himself until the last of it landed on your skin, takin’ huge deep breaths as he let go of his limp cock, “ya alright baby girl?” watchin’ the color return to your face as you sucked up his spend from your face. 

“I’m just fine daddy,” crawlin’ on to his lap, thighs on either side of him as you nestled your covered pussy on his still throbbin’ cock. 

“Ya such a good girl fer me,” pettin’ your arms as you gripped the back of his head, leanin’ in for a steamy kiss as you gyrated your hips on him. 

“Mhmm,” he chuckled, “does ma sweet baby need somethin’ from her daddy?” watchin’ as you bat your eyelashes at him, “use yer words darlin’,” he pandered once again, bringin’ a thumb to tug at your bottom lip. 

“I need ya to fuck me, daddy,” bringin’ the digit into your mouth as you moved again on his dick, the hardness comin’ back in a wave at your friction, “please, I’ve been a good girl fer you,” suckin’ on it like a pacifier. 

“Ya right baby girl,” he cooed, “I can’t say no to yer sweet lil’ pussy anyways,” watchin’ as you lifted your hips to line his cock up with your achin’ slit, rubbin’ your built-up slick around on the head. Pushin’ your hips slowly down on his length, swallowin’ every single inch like the popsicle you’d been devourin’ minutes prior. 

���G-good god darlin’,” breath hitchin’ as he took in your tight walls clenchin’ on his cock, “ya so damn tight, no matter how many times yer daddy fucks ya,” musin’ as you started your little dance on his lap. 

Hips in a death grip by his flesh and blood hand and his metal one as you gyrated your body, tits bouncin’ in his face, sweat buildin’ up in the heat of the trailer as skin slappin’ emitted through every room in the house. 

“F-fuck big bear!” you cried out, feelin’ his head pokin’ your cervix with every thrust he was makin’ upwards, completely sendin’ you into another dimension of pleasure, “ya stretch me out so damn good daddy!” moanin’ into every knock he made on your open womb. 

“Ya gonna cum on daddy’s big cock baby girl?” watchin’ your mouth gape open as your tits fall out of the sorry excuse for a bra you’d chosen, “daddy wants ya ta cum so damn bad!” speedin’ his movements up until tears fell again from your face. 

“Daddy!” grippin’ on his shoulders, drawin’ blood as he pummeled your hole with everything he had, “d-daddy I-I’m g-gon-,” the friction from his jeans rubbin’ your clit for him as you unraveled and released your sweet sticky spend on him. 

“F-fuck!” cryin’ out in unrelentin’ waves of bliss as he rode you out to pound town. 

“Such a perty baby girl,” musin’ as he thrust his cock in and out with more fervor, “daddy’s gettin’ close baby,” he praised once again, gritting his teeth as he set an ungodly speed on your overstimulated body.  

“D-daddy’s c-close,” he grunted, thrustin’ in once more before unloadin’ his spend into your gapin’ slit, shovin’ it further a further as he kept thrustin’ into you. 

“J-Jesus f-fuckin’ C-Christ,” hips still in his grip as it tightened from his orgasm, “ya feel s-so good darlin’,” stillin’ himself as you both gazed into each other, takin’ in the heat that had built over the last hour. 

He brought you into an embrace, smellin’ your hair, as you pet his sweat covered back, kissin’ the moles on his shoulder and rubbin’ the scratches that had built up. After a few more seconds, you went to hop off him, only to be stilled back in your spot. 

“Clyde, baby!” you looked at him, irritated and sweaty, “what the hell? It’s fuckin’ hot an’ I have ta pee,” tryin’ to pry his hands off your hips still. 

“Nah baby girl,” he tsked, “yer gonna sit here with ma cum in your pussy for a minute,” musin’ and rubbin’ your lower belly, “I wanna make sure ya keep it nice n’ safe up there,” eyes dilatin’ as he watched your expression change too. 

“Oh really?” movin’ a hand to slick his mop of hair back, “ya think this is gonna do the trick ta knock my ass up like ya want me ta be big bear?” gigglin’ as his toothy smile appeared as a result of your words. 

“Well, it’s a damn start innit?” nuzzlin’ his cheek in your hand, “need ta make sure ma swimmers explore all parts a the cave darlin’,” chucklin’ as you rolled your eyes. 

“Yer lucky yer the cutest thing on the planet,” softenin’ at his precious face restin’ in your fingers, “that jus’ makes me wanna have as many babies as possible so they get yer perty lil’ features,” rubbin’ his cheek as a tear welled up in his eyes. 

“I ain’t as precious as you are baby girl,” rubbin’ more little circles on your lower tummy, “I can’t wait ta see the perfect lil’ ones we do make,” the wetness rollin’ out of his eyes as he thought about a little Logan joinin’ the trailer. 

“Oh shit!” he jolted, scarin’ the crap out of you as you stood up, “I totally fuckin’ forgot!” he jumped up from the couch. 

“Forgot what big bear!” clutchin’ your chest as you crossed your legs to avoid the liquid from fallin’ out of your bladder and your pussy. 

“I have ta fix the fuckin’ AC!”

_____________

IN CONCLUSION, 

🖤, 

ray-nal-beads

[unohanadaydreams]

So, it’s time for some more re-read updates bc I’m incapable of not dumping my thots kthx.

The thing is, seeing this entire scene play out makes me even more depression that this was never taken full circle in terms of Rukia and Ichigo’s connection to Kaien being revealed to them.

Like, you’re telling me glutton for punishment Rukia Kuchiki wouldn’t have felt even MORE guilt after finding out Kaien was related to Ichigo? That she robbed one of the most important people in her life of having KAIEN to help him?

And her confronting Ichigo with that and telling him abit about Kaien and he’s just like ‘I can tell you learned a lot from him, he sounds just like you’ and she just can not handle that and breaks down because holy shit? She really has passed on the heart Kaien gave her to Ichigo and she’s kept his memory alive all this time. His heart is in her and it’s made it’s way to Ichigo THROUGH her.

Like 😔 where was Rukia’s final catharsis moment and taking Ichigo to the Shibas, alive. Where was her not leaving this time, not carrying the blood of a teacher but the shoulder of a student. She isn’t the reason a Shiba is dead now. She’s the reason one is alive.

You think Gin and Luppi had a lot of meaningful conversations about uuuuh…..hot bods. Like part of me thinks Luppi is one of the only Arrancar who could stand Gin and also that Gin does not mean this bc he saw those tentacles on Rangiku.

Personally I think Gin encouraging Luppi to attack the human world to ‘assert his new rank’ or whatever is an awfully good way to off some strong Arrancar from Aizen’s army especially since he would KNOW about sealing procedures among captains/lieutenants.

Gin’s happy ending is you dying, Ulquiorra, isn’t that nice? 💕

I love how he contradicts himself instantly. Why are you treating your brother’s wounds if he’s just a box and you only cared about the data? Why did you single out the guy who killed him?

Science men in Bleach are positively PHOBIC to looking like they have meaningful connections.

Szayelaporro “I’m too mature to care about things that aren’t me, myself, and my science” Granz stfu

This confuses me. Like, WHERE is that good score counting towards??? Sure as fuck not the kido corps. Like, this further lends to my theory that lots of students are getting offed for not being strong enough in the academy because going back to the rukongai isn’t an option.

No way this academy is getting full classes of new students every single year and yet they only have a handful of thousands in the gotei 13. Especially considering that for, presumably, the original run of Bleach, it was canon that soul society was THE ONLY soul society, for all human dead. Which is honestly less confusing than every country having their own bc like…..borders and shit have changed so many times just in the past 1000 years, how do you even go about deciding which humans go to which soul society (and like are there multiple versions of Hueco Mundo? Of Hell? It’s too much)

This scene hits, but it would be even more devastating with a fade in and out of that month they spent together just saying Kubo it’s okay to give us content of two women talking about not Ichigo.

Also, I love that Rukia still finds a way to think about Kaien’s lesson and apply it to herself in a negative way. Like you can not get a bad grade in dying, ma’am. You’re doing your best.

Also Orihime seeing Rukia almost die is ❤️ very angst much horror thank you.

This entire line of thought was so unnecessary and held up exactly 0 percent. It wasn’t even needed for Ichigo to go after Aizen bc like…..he already took Orihime???? Why make him a little bit more mad about her reputation?

You can not tell me that Aizen, who has been playing 4D chess for hundreds of years, was like ‘yeah it’ll be very convincing that this teenage girl decided to jump to my ship after I had numerous people she loved almost killed and my goal is definitely to have Soul Society not help Ichigo and co under that premise. I’m not planning anything, Soul Society and definitely not moving up the war love u xoxoxo.’

Yamamoto could have just straight up said ‘I’m not sacrificing my soldiers for one human girl but gl with Aizen bitch.’ Because that’s what it really comes down to. Yamamoto is trying to fake out Aizen and seem on lockdown/like he’s waiting until Winter—the whole Orihime Is Traitor thing makes very little sense in that regard.

I will say that Hueco Mundo arc really upped the casual violence and body horror in Bleach as a whole so yet another win for this arc.

Also I love how Grimmjow is one of the villains in Bleach that even the most ‘problematic characters haters’ will simp for when this is his baseline when it comes to just annoyance. He is so hot he transcends dumb fandom discourse. This man is causally annoyed so he’s slowly and purposefully breaking Lollys leg so she fully understands before he does it. The ultimate vindictive bitch.

I know that she probably is freaked out about her leg coming back because it’s a bat shit amount of power involved in doing that, but I think she’s infinitely more horrified that Orihime not only healed her, but does so without a word, almost devoid of emotion.

She freely cusses Grimmjow out, tries to barter with him, tries to persuade him, and generally feels comfortable running her mouth because she knows violence is happening regardless. She is afraid and doesn’t want it to happen but she knows the song and dance.

But she hits Orihime with a lot of fear behind it, barely able to say more than get away. And despite that, plus the beating (AND BROKEN FUCKING PINKIE just hanging there bent) Orihime was given, Lolly is given her leg back. And she says nothing. She doesn’t ask for anything. Or want anything.

And in a place with a violent ridden caste system, I imagine that would be a lot. How do you reconcile your everyday life and how you treat everyone around you and how they treat you when you’re faced with a person who doesn’t adhere to those rules. How do you face the realization that some human girl can give you back a leg and bring back your only friend and do it not because you deserve it, but because you’re alive and need help and that’s all the reason needed. Kindness can be a curse. Cornered dogs bite and then ache for the hand upon their head again.

Renji does this twice in this arc so far, this being the first time. This man is like ‘I may not be the strongest but I can take second degree burns and falling buildings like a fucking champ and that’s about to be your problem’. You can’t tell me he doesn’t play chicken with Ikkaku by standing way too close to fireworks after they’re lit and seeing who’s less fucked up after. Sake of course included.

Also Szayelaporro and Uryu are like rival theater kids in this fight trying to bang out the best one liner and pose. Too bad Uryu wasted time trying to run away instead of pulling out his sewing kit to outdo Szayelaporro’s costume change.

Actually, I’m Frankenstein, not Frankenstein’s monster :/

[iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid]

endeavor character thots under the cut because it got really long and i just think his character arc is neat

(also i'm probably not saying anything that everybody doesn't already know but i need to collect my thoughts so here we are)

(spoilers up to ch290)

🔥🔥🔥

like, let me preface this with: yes, enji todoroki is a dickhead

i have very much enjoyed his character arc, but he is a dickhead

i think there’s a lot that goes into his behavior that we know about, and a lot that we don’t know about, but regardless it is my opinion that he is (or at least has been) a massive dickhead who was always way too obsessed with victory and being the best etc. etc. etc. and let it get in the way of him being, like, an actual decent human person. you know, like, the point of being a “hero” in the first place. he lost track of that at some point, WHICH is an excellent reflection of what the ~hero society~ does to warp the idea of heroism in the first place, and i think that was exactly hori’s intention. i mean, the man’s hero name, which we know in canon heroes come up with in their high school years, is fucking endeavor. nothing fire related. just endeavor. holy shit, dude, you have always been incapable of dialing it back, got it.

he is also (as all might pointed out) an excellent reflection of what an older bakugo could have been without intervention by the adults in his life: i.e., he has a rigid moral compass and a “fuck villains” mentality without an ounce of kindness to go with all that altruism, and in endeavor's case that spiraled down and down and down until you get to the shitshow that’s given us the current Keeping Up With The Todorokis story arc. his parallels with bakugo keep going right up to and including, of course, when the change started happening:

but anyway, the point is he lost track of what being a hero is actually supposed to be (if he ever knew in the first place because, again, growing up in this hypercompetitive atmosphere does a number on these heroes, man) and he’s only just starting to get it back now, as he goes through... what i hesitate to even call a redemption arc tbh? the narrative itself is doing nothing to “redeem” him, every action taken here is coming directly from the man himself as he tries to figure out how to do right by his family after all the garbage he put them through, with no thoughts about redeeming himself, which i think is the major factor that had me so on board for him swinging from “abusive shitheel” to “fumbling awkward and still kind-of-a-dick father who’s, like, at least trying to be better.” like, this bit:

THAT'S the good shit

anyway, so like, going back, when we first meet endeavor, we know three things: (1) he’s the number two hero after all might, (2) he essentially “bought” his wife and had several children before the todoroki we all know and love, all in an effort to combine their quirks into someone more powerful than either of them, and (3) todoroki haaates him, for good reason, partly because of the intense training he went through as a kid, but mostly because he views his mother’s deteriorating mental health -- and by extension his scar -- as being endeavor’s fault. that’s it, that’s all we got.

NOW we know a lot more

we know he specifically sought out rei for her ice quirk because his main weakness is overheating, we know he still to this day delivers her favorite flowers to her hospital room on a regular basis, we know he “put her in a hospital” (in the anime, not the manga, which was an excellent misdirection with the wording there BY the way) i.e. he admitted her into a hospital after she deliberately and horrifically injured their son, and we also have a whole lot more context for why rei’s mental health deteriorated so badly up to that point

it was a really cool way to reveal why this family is the way it is, in bits and pieces. you have enji, hyperdetermined to the point of being a dick sometimes (or all the time), who offers this woman a ton of money to marry him and have kids with him so their kids will be stronger than him. you have rei, who agrees, and after they have their first kid -- toya, who doesn’t get the ice quirk and can’t escape overheating -- enji still wants to train him to be the best he can be, and rei wants more kids so they can encourage each other. they love their kids! both of them! they may have even begun to love each other!

and then. aaaaaaand then,

toya burns himself to death (cough cough, allegedly), and it all falls apart. rei loses her firstborn son to the quirk that was passed onto him by the man that she agreed to have kids with, for the express purpose of passing on their quirks. in the beginning we think her disgust with shoto’s fire quirk is because of endeavor, because (and this was the assumption i made) he wasn’t just an emotionally abusive jerk, he was a physically abusive one, fire quirk and all. but it’s not endeavor’s quirk she’s disgusted by, it’s toya’s. she’s looking at her youngest son and seeing the power that gruesomely killed her oldest, and something breaks. she has a psychotic meltdown and dumps boiling water on her kid’s head, and she gets sent off to a mental hospital, for good reason.

i don’t know, man. i just. LOVE how much the extra context gives to all of these characters.

but yeah, so toya’s death sent rei into that downward spiral, and at the same time it took endeavor’s already kind of too-gung-ho attitude and dialed that shit to 11 because he needed to throw himself into something and he sure as hell wasn’t gonna let that happen to another one of his kids, hence: way too much training for poor little shoto. and he doesn’t even see it as a bad thing? what he’s doing to his kids? it feels like a necessary evil and he’s more or less at peace with it.

but then all this kids are almost grown, and shoto hates him to the point that he only began using his fire quirk, like, this year, and natsuo fucking despises him and says it'll be a cold day in hell before he forgives him, and fuyumi’s the only kid left that even wants to begin to give him a chance. he’s the number one hero and it literally does not matter, it changes nothing. shoto’s constantly in danger because he wants to be a hero, natsuo almost dies because some villain comes after them with the intention of hurting endeavor, and fuyumi’s miserable because their family is cracked apart, and like... shit, dude. the fact that enji turns around and decides, “they all deserve to be a family together, they deserve to be happy together, fuyumi deserves to have the happy family she wants to have, and if the only way that’s going to happen is without me, then that’s just how it’ll have to be,” is phenomenal

he is fully willing to remove himself from the picture if that’s what it takes to make his wife and kids happy! if that’s what it takes to give them some peace! holy shit. this is the polar opposite of how he has viewed heroism for his entire life up until that point

this? this is not flashy showbiz-worthy fights and villain beatdowns and glory, minus genuine altruism

this is genuine altruism, minus the flashy showbiz-worthy fights and villain beatdowns and glory

and the fact that it’s just, like... ah, yes, watch endeavor slowly and fumblingly trying to right his wrongs and be a better person, how lovely, surely nothing will happen to completely derail this and oh wait what’s that HERE COMES DABI WITH A STEEL CHAIR--

just. hoo buddy. brain full, many thoughts about enji todoroki today lads, VERY interested and very frightened to see how the aftermath of the dabi reveal hits everyone in this family. it's...... a Lot

[littleferal]

Sudden thought struck me while I’m struggling to sleep: if the boys gf had a higher sex drive than them, how would they deal with it? Who’s excited by the challenge of trying to keep up with her, who feels like they aren’t satisfying her, and is anyone annoyed she’s so needy and greedy? Are they mad when she chooses to masterbate instead of calling for them? Is it as fun as I hope it is to deal with a girl who wants to come a lot, or do they just want to get some sleep???? (Creepy woman anon)

A/N Ok at this point I’m begging you to have a different tag 😂 like I’m just going tag you as my pretty whiskey anon ok?

Also shout out to anyone who needs to hear this - if anyone ever makes you feel bad about your sex drive they are straight up trash and sometimes you just gotta chuck out the whole man. No one gets to decide that and I just know it’s going to be tied to some patriarchal bullshit so you just head for the door.

p.s. this + this h/cs may also be to your liking

Warnings Smidgen angst + smuttish

Din worries at first. This whole intimacy thing is a bit intimidating for him anyway but especially because he can’t even give you all of him. And at first the sex is great, the desperation you collide together matched. But he starts to get little nagging anxieties about your relationship and that translates into all parts of it. So at some point when Din finds you masturbating without him? He misunderstands and takes it completely the wrong way. Because some cruel part of his brain has been telling him you’ve been using him for sex and when he didn’t meet the bar you’re going to toss him aside. Finding you doing it without him is just the final blow and he snaps. You’re just about to invite him to join in when he just turns on his heel and walks out. An angry part of him really wants to get you back somehow, to take. But Din is learning to be a better man so he can’t. So you guys are going to need to talk about this, to verbally get around this miscommunication. And it might be a bit difficult because he’s only just learning to navigate a relationship. But once the air is cleared and he understands that hell no you’re not using him, that yes you want sex a lot but you want sex a lot with him. Oh ho. You’ll get it, you guys are right back to square one, repeatedly crashing into each other but now it really feels like a relationship.

Quickies are basically a staple of your relationship because Din has hunts to do and you both have a kid. There is no getting around that. Find him in the cockpit when the kid’s in bed or greet him back after a long hunt and its gonna be desperate. Also, Din totally learns to be a tease and he learns to be a bit of a bastard. And you can only blame yourself for encouraging him. Even before the two of you became a thing Din had a habit of having a hand on you or at least damn near, usually guiding from your lower back or hand on your arm. It was his way of saying, I got you, you’re safe. As the time (and your relationship) progressed he would get bolder, like putting his hand on your thigh under the cantina table. Which let to…thots…and your first alley quickie.

Yeah in the end Din doesn’t have a problem with you having a higher sex drive just as long as you can cope with missing him a lot.

—

You may think you have a high sex drive but please. As far as Ezra is concerned there’s no such thing. And boy does he initiate a lot. So when he discovers your sex drive matches his? He’s delighted, ecstatic, rapturous. And he’ll let you know every time the moment strikes him. Like he’ll just get the softest look on his face, his tone dropping to one of utter adoration. Because no matter what filth he’s been spewing not even one minute ago he’s suddenly taken by not only your desire - and there’s truly something holy about that to him - but your desire for him. To shamelessly quote my own cursed and unfinished oneshot "There is nothing like when you display your need for me. That is fucking divine.” Does he tease you about being needy and greedy? Yes, yes he does. Does he truly mean it to mock you? No. He adores it.

Ezra is never angry about the number of times you initiate sex, could never possibly be. But occasionally there are other things to do. I know. Gasp. Ezra might actually say that. But you guys are out here working literally for your lives. Still, Ezra will find a way to keep you both happy. Are you that desperate but there’s still a job to do that requires your hands. Well we all know Ezra is basically king of self-control + teasing. Expect to find yourself sat on his cock and he’s not giving you anything until the job is done. Not moving an inch, not touching you in any other sexual manner, just waiting with a patience you can’t understand until you’re done. And then you’ll get exactly what you’re asking for. Just as soon as you’ve finished.

Is Ezra ever angry to find you masturbating without him? No. Not in the slightest. He can respect your space and your boundaries if that’s what it is. But if it isn’t? If you just couldn’t wait? Oh he is gonna be a bit of a bastard. If he gets his hands on you he’s going to tease, edge you mercilessly until you break. And if he isn’t? Ezra will make you put on a show first, though don’t worry, it’ll most likely be mutual. Because this is another challenge to him, this is the challenge of who can last longer and he just knows it’s going to be him and boy is he gonna love it. Then you’ll have him.

Yeah as far as Ezra is concerned it’s literally not a problem. In fact it’s not even a thing.

—

Sex is a big part of intimacy as far as Frankie is concerned. Not that it’s the be all and end all for him but Frankie is a physical guy - it just comes to him more naturally than speaking does. So any kind of physical affection really works for him.

To start with he’s totally in the camp of I’m not doing enough, but that’s true for all facets of your relationship - Frankie is the definition of starry-eyed boyfriend who thinks you hung the moon and stars and isn’t good enough/worthy of you. But with the amount you practically throw yourself at him? It’s healing a small part of himself he didn’t know needed healing. Of course it kinda throws him a bit to start with because he doesn’t think he’s ever felt this desirable before and he doesn’t know what to with that. He’ll be shy but throughly enjoying every second. But when he gets past that? It’s gonna make him bold. Expect to bring a more dominant side out in Frankie, one that returns your desire with equal fervour.

The only time you're going to throw him is when he finds you masturbating alone. See, sex is a private thing as far as he’s concerned, and it’s a thing that you need to be invited to do. Yes he knows you're in a relationship, yes he knows you want him. But maybe this time you don’t? And that’s totally ok yeah he’s a smidgen hurt. And a part of him will always be like that but once he’s been invited he’s completely onboard, just reassure him you want him there.

Is Frankie a little bit thrown to start with? Yes. Does he hate it for a moment? No. Not at all.

—

Javier needs to feel wanted and he needs to feel needed but he needs this as more than physical - he needs this on an emotional level. I would say he uses sex as a way to chase intimacies he desperately needs but won’t allow himself to keep, because who can in this world he works in? But I think it’s more accurate to say he uses the time he has with his informants. We’ve seen how he can be with different informants, how it’s clearly more than a transaction with him. He allows it to be more than because he needs it to be. So it’s fair to say he has a kind of complicated relationship with sex.

To start with the sex is great and this is really working for both of you. But there is going to come a point when he will pull away and you will need to talk to him. Because Javier Peña is shit a relationships - his best one - or maybe longest running is the best way to put it - is with his job and that is not something to brag about. He is going to misunderstand this, he’s going to mistake the amount of sex you want to mean you only want sex. Unless it’s made very clear to him that you are in this for the long run, and I mean very clear, his brain will be cruel to him. I think he could spiral, thinking he’s suddenly on the other end of a transaction.

But get past that? Yeah it’ll become nothing more than a blip in the relationship. Because Javier does enjoy sex very much. And when he’s in a relationship, when he’s allowing himself to be completely vulnerable he has a lot of respect for it and the intimacy it represents. There will be times when he’s simply too tired or not in the mood because his work fucking sucks. Sometimes sex is a no for him, sometimes it’s going to be very one-sided. But at all and any other times? He will give it to you whenever you ask, however you ask. He is not shy in the slightest.

Finding you masturbating on your own? As long as you’re at that stage where you’ve talked about this? Listen, he’s going to find that flattering in a way? Because now you’re both firmly connecting the dots of sex to the other person. Like you wanted him so much you couldn’t bear to wait? That does things to him.

He doesn’t hate it at all as long as you know when not to push it with him. But if you two find a healthy balance it’s gonna be -chef kiss-

—

As far as Whiskey is concerned it is challenge accepted. Ain’t no such thing as too much of a good time sugar. There’s no way this man would ever shame you for it or turn you away - he’s like Ezra in that sense, it’s a kind of holy. He’s got a pretty high libido himself but I’m jump in and say that I think there could be a chance you may end up having a higher sex drive than Whiskey. It would only be because now he’s in a relationship he’s feeding off the emotional side of it as much as/more than the sex side - he’s spent a lot of time doing one night stands etc because he was trying to avoid his issues by hiding in them and now he’s basking in the security of a relationship. So yeah, he loves sex, nothing he loves more than showering you in affections, verbal or physical but he learns to settle. And at this point imma quote @scribbledghost verbatim cos she’s right. He’d definitely be at the beck and call of someone with a higher sex drive. After all, who is he to deny his darlin’s wishes? And if somehow their sex drive is even higher than his, he’s content to just lay back and let them do what they want. He finds it a good way to relax, after all.

Catching you masturbating? Well for starters he’s too confident to think for a moment he’s not wanted there - though if you were to send him away he will totally spiral so be careful. But yeah, if that’s what he comes home to? Oh he couldn’t be happier and he is going to tell you that - just to revisit my own h/cs for a quick second, Well Darlin’ if that ain’t the prettiest sight I ever did see. And if those ain’t the prettiest sounds I ever heard. He’s mostly content to let you have your fun on your own and will praise you at every opportunity, eyes shining with lust and adoration. Ok he thinks you’re being a tad mean not letting him be involved so if you do want him? He’s gonna be a bit of an ass, he needs to hear you ask for it. Partly ego partly insecurity. But as soon as you tell him exactly what you want you are going. to. get. it. Guaranteed.

Listen, Whiskey is totally here for the ride. He loves it ok?!

— — —

my masterlist + talk to me 🌙

[himbowelsh]

Drunk BOB guys??? Who are the softie hug-loving cuddlers and who are the loud and obnoxious ones? The ones who break out of their shell when intoxicated? The unusually quiet ones? The ones who throw it tf back when Usher comes on? I'd love to hear some thots

oooooh my god okay okay, here are the biggest thots

Richard Winters:  Umm, alcohol whom? Has never been drunk in his life and doesn’t intend to start now. He gets all the buzz he needs off the exhilaration of a brisk jog, or a cool glass of water.

Lewis Nixon: The Literal Alcoholic. Thinks he’s more fun when he’s drunk than when he’s sober; is actually not a very fun drunk. Is even worse when he’s sobering up! At this point, he has to have some liquor in his system 99% of the time, otherwise his body feels like it’s out to destroy itself. (Alcoholism is a disease, boys and girls.) Nix buzzed is Nix at peak performance; he’s friendly, efficient, and capable. Nix drunk is a slowly spiralling plane crash. He usually passes out before he hits the ground, but god forbid he gets there, because...  it’s messy. He can occasionally be a messy, emotional, overdramatic drunk, but only when he’s really overdone it.

Carwood Lipton: The Respectable Drunk. A very calm, kind of sleepy drunk. Doesn’t get drunk often, even though he holds his liquor well, because he doesn’t prefer it  ---   when he’s had a few, he prefers to just watch the people around him, smiling and only half paying attention. His mind tends to wander when he’s drunk. Drunk Lip does have one fatal weakness:  if he’s out with his partner, and his partner shows even the slightest bit of encouragement, Lip will get riled up very quickly. He goes from calm drunk to horny drunk in a very short time; will eagerly press his partner up against the wall if given the chance. (Drunk Lip is way more inclined to PDA.)

Ron Speirs: The Soft Drunk. Literally, he’s such a tender drunk; he has absolutely no balance, and is a little confused, but he’s sweet, okay? Ron is far more expressive when he’s drunk; he gets touchier, ramblier, kinder. Drunk Ron has faith in humanity where Sober Ron gave up long ago. He’s a really relaxed drunk, unlikely to go off and do anything wild, but he wants to be around other people  ---  around his friends. Ron never has a good time when he drinks alone. (Plus, he’s got a reputation to uphold, and only certain people are allowed to see him with his guards down.)

Harry Welsh: The Bionic Drunk. Nothing can injure him; nothing can kill him. Many things have tried. Harry has done so much dumb shit when intoxicated, things that would have wounded him in a heartbeat if he was sober, and has never gotten a scratch to show for it. He’s a very fun drunk  ---  he laughs a lot, is very affectionate, and super pleasant to be around  ---  but common sense and self-preservation goes out the window. Look out, because he might too, if someone dared him.

Eugene Roe: The Changeling Drunk. Who is this man and what did he do with Doc Roe? Drunk Gene is...  an experience, alright? His inhibitions are gone. Suddenly, his personality has been turned up to eleven; he’s extroverted, he’s exciting, he laughs loudly and jokes around...  he’s dancing on top of the bar, holy shit. Is a very fun time, but you have to keep an eye on him, because he sometimes goes off and does something insane, a-la-Sober-Speirs. Drunk Gene fears nothing, including himself.

Joe Toye: The Depressed Drunk. Zoinks, Scoob. Drunk Joe is actually willing to talk about his emotions  ---  and maybe he shouldn’t, because he’s got some sad stuff going on there, man. Drinking is supposed to numb your worries, but Joe often finds the opposite is the case; his burdens somehow get heavier, harder to ignore, and if he’s allowed to slip into them he’ll end up dwelling in them for the rest of the night. So long as he’s around buddies who are actively keeping his spirits up, he’s a decent drunk guy to have around. If neglected, however, Drunk Joe may shed a few tears into his Guinness.

George Luz: The Showman Drunk. His jokes and impressions get way sloppier, but somehow he’s twice as hilarious, so he can get away with it. Drunk George is way more animated, with a seemingly endless supply of energy; he teases everybody, he laughs the loudest in the room, and he really seems like he’s just come out to have a good time. The kind of buddy you want to get drunk with.  (Be warned: comes with a rarely activated Depressed Drunk mode, when he shuts off and wants to be left the hell alone. Maybe his battery runs out after a while or something. During this time, George is feeling a lot of things very strongly; this condition is best treated with a cozy blanket and glass of water. Very rare, but once you’ve seen him in this state, you can never unsee it.)

Bill Guarnere: The Loud Drunk. Is there a difference between sober Bill and drunk Bill? Debateable. Drunk Bill is just Bill turned up to eleven. He doesn’t actually get drunk a lot  ---  somehow he ends up the designated driver, and minds less than he should  ---  but social drinking usually leads to Bill shouting over a crowded bar. He’s usually up for a good time, he just has no volume control. (Also, the accent. It thickens. Can someone translate, please? Is he speaking English? What the hell is he saying?)

Babe Heffron: The Weird Drunk. Drunk Babe will break it down on the dance floor (should he? maybe not) and do his president rooster impression in public, but he’s equally likely to just...  confuse everybody else. He’s got a lot of thoughts. A lot of feelings. Some of them are about the meaning of life, some of them are about the best kind of sandwich bread, some of them are about whether the Loch Ness Monster has a favorite type of bird.  He talks so much when he’s drunk, and will ramble anyone’s ear off about any of these topics. Escape while you can.

Joseph Liebgott: The Volatile Drunk. Really a mixed bag; you never know what you’re going to get from him. Sometimes, Joe can be a very fun drunk, the life of the party, willing to do anything anybody dares him to. That’s if he’s drinking in a good mood. If he starts drinking in a sour mood, it’ll only get worse from there. Honestly, he can be a mean drunk. He lashes out at people, gets angry, sometimes starts crying...  it’s not great. You have to keep tabs on him while he’s drinking, because if his mood looks like it’s dipping, he should not be allowed any more alcohol.

David Kenyon Webster: The Emotional Drunk. He’s just...  got a lot of feelings! And he really wants to talk about them! Becomes extremely talkative while drunk; this is not always a good thing, because he’s pronouncedly less eloquent. Drunk Web is very passionate about politics...  and the environment... and marine biology...  and the commercialization of public holidays. He has something to say about most things. Sometimes he’s just muttering to himself, and no one can keep up with what he’s saying. Makes so many notes, either in his phone or scribbling them down on napkins, because he’s “going to need to remember this”, but they’re all illegible come morning. Feels things very strongly. Might cry.

Johnny Martin: The Feral Drunk. Wrangling Johnny when he’s had a few too many is an experience. Holy shit, this man knows no fear. Drunk Johnny has 5x less patience for everyone’s bullshit, and wants them to know it. The amount of bar fights this man has gotten into... the best part is, he’s never lost. (Yeah, because he has Bull right there to make sure his drunk friend doesn’t get himself killed.)

Frank Perconte: The Confused Drunk. Only kind of knows where he is. Complains a lot; puts things down, misplaces them, and blames someone else for taking them. Drunk Perco has a ‘Real Housewives at Brunch’ mode, only activated when someone gives him tequila; he will scream and throw drinks. Otherwise he’s just kind of tiresome and needs someone to make sure he makes it home okay.

Floyd Talbert: The Mom Drunk. Yes, he did just do four shots of gin, but he’s still going to make sure everyone else is drinking water and not wandering off with anyone creepy. Drunk Floyd’s got an eye on everyone; he’s kind of the mama hen wrangling all her chicks, making sure they don’t stray far. He parties like a frat boy, but will wrangle everyone like a girl scout mother. 

Shifty Powers: The Missing Drunk. What the hell? What happened, where did he go? He was sitting right there a second ago  ---   when he’s drunk, Shifty tends to wander. He just likes the quiet. His friends will always find him in bizarre places, after a few minutes of panicked searching. Once, he was laying on top of a car; once he was on the club’s roof. He’s fine, he knows where he is, he’s just thinking about stuff.

Donald Malarkey: The Absurdly Lucky Drunk. He’s got some Irish faeries looking out for him or something, because Drunk Don is literally living his best life. If he gambles, he’s going to win. If he misplaces his wallet, he’s going to find it with an extra $30 inside. If he trips, he’s going to land in an attractive person’s lap. Everyone wants to be in proximity to Drunk Don, not only because he’s a pretty good  (if emotional)  time, but because some of his luck might rub off.

Skip Muck: The Giggly Drunk. What’s so funny? No one knows. Skip might not even know, but he’s going to laugh anyways, because everything is hilarious. He somehow tells even better jokes when drunk, but he laughs at them himself, so that measures it out. He effortlessly makes himself the life of the party; Skip will get up and karaoke with the band, cheer all his friends on in their dumb shit, drink way more than he reasonably should...  going out drinking with Skip is always a great time.

Herbert Sobel: The Alarmingly Fun Drunk. No, I’m not going to elaborate. Fill in the mental images yourself.

[taetaespeaches]

favorite albums of twenty-twenty:

I’m indecisive, so disclaimer lol. But I wanted to be self-indulgent for a moment and share my very favorite albums of 2020. In a year where I felt both alone and lonely, music was massively important to me. I tried to limit this to my top ten but I’m too indecisive and a lot of amazing music came out this year so there’s eighteen albums lol. Why not. So yeah, enjoy or ignore, I just had the urge to do this. (This isn’t in order except BE, D-2, Maria, and Map of the Soul: 7 are all definitely in the top five.)

Also, if you see this and want to do your own, tag me! I’d love to see your top albums <3 

↬ BE — BTS

⟶ Top tracks: Telepathy, Blue & Grey, Fly To My Room, Disease, Life Goes On

I mean come on. This was the pandemic album we all needed and I will forever be grateful for this masterpiece. I think this is an album that will grow with me and will kind of act as a companion throughout my life. The musicality, the lyrics, the variety, all of it, it’s just perfection. It feels like a friend who gives you comfort but also makes you confront your emotions, and that was everything I needed this year. I will forever be obsessed with this one. BE is my friend. 

↬ D-2 — Agust D

⟶ Top Tracks: People, Moonlight, Daechwita, What do you think?, Dear my friend

Agust D came back and he fucking owned it. The amount of pure talent and passion in this mixtape is un-fucking-real. Yoongi is just unbelievably talented and this album perfectly displays that. Plus, these songs have been my ride or die since May, like, there isn’t a week that goes by that I don’t listen to this album in full at least once. Just incredible. 

↬ María — Hwasa

⟶ Top Tracks: LMM, Maria, Intro: Nobody Else, WHY, I’m bad too

This album is so connected to my fucking soul. I swear, Ahn Hyejin and I’s emotions are so similar and the way we process them is soooo similar, this album just honestly means the world to me. Plus, it’s amazing. Every song is a masterpiece. Obsessed. Much like D-2, I listen to this album at least once a week. And the number of times I have cried listening to it is unreal. Intro: Nobody Else is very much how I felt this year and LMM has made me cry more times than I care to admit. This album makes me feel what I’m feeling, gives me comfort, and helps me pick myself back up again. Another one that will grow with me. This year through the loneliness and in times that I felt I had no one, this was my companion.  

↬ MAP OF THE SOUL: 7 — BTS

⟶ Top tracks: Black Swan, Interlude : Shadow, My Time, ON, Friends, Moon, We are Bulletproof: the Eternal, Outro : Ego

Come onnnnnn. Perfection!!!! Quite literally the album that has been there with me through every step of this pandemic. I still cry watching the Ego mv. Why? No clue, just makes me sob tears of happiness. Black Swan? Possibly one of my very favorite songs EVER. OF ALL TIME. My Time? Relatable as fuck. Friends? The cutest thing I’ve ever heard. Moon? I’m sobbing again, that’s my emotional support Seokjinnie. Just, the album is a goddamn masterpiece, I don’t care who disagrees, my opinion is fact on this one.

↬ love is not dying — Jeremy Zucker

⟶ Top tracks: full stop, oh, mexico, hell or flying, lakehouse

Jeremy is another one that I just feel emotionally related too. Like I just get what he says and means and it hits me right in the heart and mind and gut. Another companion album. I think full stop is one of the most relatable songs I’ve ever heard- lyrically and the way it builds and becomes a bit chaotic… like whoah. I feel that in my chest. Also, oh, mexico is another song I related to so hard this year. This album has just made a massive impact on me and I love it.

↬ folklore — Taylor Swift

⟶ Top tracks: seven, peace, the lakes, the 1

So Taylor surprised everyone with an album. What the fuck, ma’am? This is my second favorite Taylor album to date, second to only her second surprise album of the year. Like what? I’ve cried listening to this album and absolutely sobbed listening to seven. She just really popped off with this one and I don’t think I need to explain to you all why this album is so good. If you’ve heard it, you know.

↬ evermore — Taylor Swift

⟶ Top tracks: ivy, cowboy like me, long story short, coney island, gold rush

Oh here we have another surprise album, and now my favorite album by Taylor. I think this album perfectly displays Taylor’s insane lyricism better than any of her works. This album just hit really different for me, every song was my favorite on first listen and I still have the hardest time picking favorite tracks. It’s just beautiful and it’s great and I love it a lot.

↬ SAWAYAMA — Rina Sawayama

⟶ Top tracks: Fuck This World (Interlude), Tokyo Love Hotel, Bad Friend, Comme Des Garçons (Like The Boys)

Have you heard it? If so, you know why it’s on this list. Pop perfection. Rina is a goddess. That’s that. It’s just amazing. Rina is a visionary and this album displays that perfectly. Comme Des Garçons was the first song of hers I ever heard and I was immediately obsessed. Next level, this woman. A queen.

↬ Petals For Armor — Hayley Williams

⟶ Top tracks: Crystal Clear, Why We Ever, Over Yet

Wow. Just, bless Hayley for this. Crystal Clear has quickly become one of my very favorite songs ever and Why We Ever is a little too relatable. And I distinctly remember hearing Over Yet for the first time in May and feeling joy for the first time since the pandemic started. This album is one to listen to when you’re mad, sad, when you need comfort, or when you’re ready to heal. Honestly, another companion.

↬ Nectar — Joji

⟶ Top tracks: Like You Do, Your Man, Sanctuary, MODUS, Run, Mr. Hollywood

I could honestly list nearly every song on this as a top song. Holy shit. Joji is another visionary. He’s insane and I’m obsessed with this album. I swear, every time I listen a new song jumps out as a favorite. Like You Do is a song that just means so much to me. A masterpiece. This album is my go to when I’m looking to get into my feels. Also Daylight isn’t listed in the top tracks but what a fucking bop. I’m just in love with this album. For real, obsessed.

↬ Plastic Hearts — Miley Cyrus

⟶ Top tracks: Angels Like You, High, WTF Do I Know, Midnight Sky, Never Be Me, Plastic Hearts

I’ve never been like an avid listener of Miley, just a few tracks, but this year I got more into her. And this album, goddamn. Every song is a contender for top track. How does that happen? Midnight Sky? Huge for me this year. Like I cannot tell you how massive of an impact this song made on me. Angels Like You is such a perfect song. High is a little too relatable. Just seriously, wow. Kind of speechless, I just adore this album.

↬ Positions — Ariana Grande

⟶ Top tracks: pov, obvious, 34+35

The way I cried my first time hearing pov. Ari what are you doing to me? That song is just such a beautiful way to look at love and this whole album is just so healing. A happy spot on this whole year. 34+35 is a thot anthem and I’m obsessed. This album is just another example of Ariana’s talent and we were all blessed to be able to hear it.

↬ CALM — 5 Seconds of Summer

⟶ Top tracks: Wildflower, Lover of Mine, Best Years, Teeth, High

I don’t care if y’all think it’s cool to like 5sos or not, this album is so fucking good. It far exceeded my expectations. Some of these songs are some of my favorites for the year. Wildflower is a fucking happy pill and Best Years makes me fucking cry. High is too relatable, and Teeth may as well have been written about me. And Lover of Mine perfectly relates to the most important relationship of my entire life. I’m gonna say it, Luke Hemmings is such an underappreciated lyricist. The man is good. I love this album a lot. 

↬ Manic — Halsey

⟶ Top tracks: Finally // beautiful stranger, SUGA’s Interlude, Forever … (is a long time), 3am

I never really listen to Halsey so it took me a long time to give this album a try and wow I’m so glad I finally did. It became an instant fav. Honesty, anything Yoongi touches is a favorite for me so obviously that song would be in my tops, but Forever … (is a long time) is so relatable and just so fucking good. And Finally // beautiful stranger is honestly my favorite Halsey song ever. It’s stunning. This album is amazing. Period.

↬ Future Nostalgia — Dua Lipa

⟶ Top tracks: Pretty Please, Cool, Don’t Start Now

This album is just disco pop perfection and I’ve been obsessed all year. It’s the perfect album to listen to when you just wanna fucking dance and forget about all the shit that 2020 gave us. The perfect escape and it’s so so fun and the songs are just bops. I’ve probably listened to this album a hundred times because it’s just the perfect escape. If I wanna let go for a bit, this is my go to.

↬ Punisher — Phoebe Bridgers

⟶ Top tracks: I Know The End, Chinese Satellite, Garden Song

This album makes me feel some shit. Like holy hell we are in our feels. Phoebe’s songwriting is superb and these songs just hit. I honestly only listen to this album when I really need to get in touch with myself because it literally doesn’t allow me to avoid my feelings. But it’s pretty much perfection and I think it’s going to grow with me throughout the years. I just love it. I remember being blown away on my first listen, it’s just unbelievably good.

↬ Ungodly Hour — Chloe and Halle

⟶ Top tracks: Tipsy, Baby girl, Ungodly Hour

I don’t even know how to explain how good this album is. Like, have you heard it? You get it. These girls went the fuck off and all we can do is thank them for it. Thank you for your service ladies. This album is just a vibe from start to finish. And Ungodly Hour is one of the best title tracks of the year. That’s just that on that. Give them all the awards.

↬ IS ANYBODY OUT THERE? — DPR LIVE

⟶ Top tracks: OH GIRL, NO RESCUE NEEDED, KISS ME

This album isn’t just an album, it’s an experience. This man takes you on a musical journey. It’s a story. It’s flawless. I adore it. DPR LIVE is so underrated and I can’t wait for him to get the hype he deserves. This was the most surprising find this year and I’m so thankful I found it. Just so god. From start to finish, you just get sucked in and then it ends and you’re just left like, whoah. Amazing. 

[theotheroccassionalfanficwriter]

Mammon's Prayer

Summary: A short story about the comical and blasphemous interaction between God and his son Mammon's girlfriend.

A/N: It's a roman catholic thing to be a little bit critical about God and maybe commit little day to day blasphemy against God and the Roman Catholic Church.

Tags: Casual Blasphemy, Prayers, Begrudgingly in Love, You is a thot for Mammon, we is a slut for Mammon, Mammon and Mammorons share two braincells and we get it all the time, Roman Catholics Pray to Ask for Blessings, We pray to God to complain about our love life with Mammon, 5+1 Fic, Hurt and Comfort, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, God is the Deus Ex Machina

-

1.

"In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit...

Our Father who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name...

Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us for our sins and trespasses. And those who trespass against us.

Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from Evil...

I don't know if you can hear me all the way here from Hell and I know I haven't prayed to you for a long time since my Confirmation or the fact that I only go to Church during important Holidays or the fact that I never fasted or stop eating meat on good friday... But I've done my best to be a good and morally upright human being even so...

That's why I hope you don't mind if I complain to you about your son a little bit, I don't mean Jesus...I'm cool with him. It's Mammon I'm here for..." You sigh deeply before taking a long sip from the glass of water you brought with you.

It was almost empty.

"What kind of shitty parenting did you do? Huh? Are you proud of your parental skills? Your idiot son keeps on sending me mixed signals! I can't fucking tell what he wants! Do you know how hard it is for me to communicate? You fucking nerfed me with social anxiety that it made me look like a functional human being! He's lucky he's cute or I'd have punch him in the face for being annoying...

Amen."

From Their throne in Heaven, God sat alone and mulled in silence. The two Cherubim who were on shift to accompany God blinked at what they had just heard.

'What kind of prayer is that!?!' They both thought.

Finally, after a long time had passed, God spoke "Do humans pray like this nowadays?"

No one answered Them.

2.

"In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit...

Lucifer's Daddy who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name...thy Kingdom come, thy Will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven...

Give me this day my daily bread and forgive Lucifer for his trespasses and Mammon who trespassed.

Lead me not into Asmodeus, and Mammon on the Volume 6969 Cover of Majolish but deliver me from Evil...

Amen...

Okay I know that's not how the prayer goes but I've had a long week and your son Mammon has no consideration for me, his magicless Master that bought 3 copies of Majolish that had him for a cover.

I mean I'm not asking for much you know? I just want him to stop sending me mixed signals! The Piles of Little D of Greeds keep telling me he has a crush on me but he goes and act like he doesn't! And then he went and told me to answer his call before he even called!!

Did you purposely make an idiot? A dense fucker? A fucking adorable tsundere??

Why doesn't he just admit that he wanted me to call him from time to time??? I wouldn't have laughed at him y'know!!! Why is voice so nice over the phone!?!!

If he keeps this up either I'll date him or someone else!!!"

You did a sign of the cross and drank two cups of water before going to bed.

"...Chamahel was perfectly fine as a child! The war changed him!

Hmph! impudent human! All my children are perfectly fine as they are!" God fumed and thought of a way to punish the human that dared to say Their children weren't perfect.

Michael talked Them out of it but God still grumbled about it from time to time.

3.

"You already know what this is about...I know I look stupid saying my prayers aloud here in Hell but I like to pretend you can hear me...I...I know that you didn't like how some of your angels wanted to bang humans but... Would the same thing apply to Demons?

They're both cut from the same cloth afterall...and it's not like I want to do it with Demons but...if...this is just an if! A very big IF, a hypothetical scenario!!

I... I want to know if a demon-human relationship would get into trouble from both Heaven and Devildom...I don't know if I have the right but I'm asking it anyways...even if no one might be listening from up there...

Can you give me a sign, God? That if being in love with a demon isn't sin?

Thank you for putting up with me...goodnight God."

"...maybe this could be the exception..."

The next day Michael had to teach God how to use Akuzon Delivery to send a bouquet of White Poppies to the House of Lamentation.

4.

"There isn't a lot of things I'm thankful for...to be honest I hated you a little bit for letting some of us to do evil things in your name...you could turn an entire town into salt for being rude and inhospitable before but now you can't even slap divine retribution to the bastards that pollute your Church...even so thank you for Mammon...

And the other brothers too but mostly thank you for creating Mammon...He isn't an out and out evil you know? He...he's disgustingly human like with his ways... He cries over fictional characters and looks after me above and beyond what he has to do...

He's an idiot that doesn't know how to ask for help properly but...I think that's because of his circumstances...I really love him...I don't know if you're actually the one who sent those white poppies but...I'm taking it as a sign that everything's going to be alright...

I want to be with Mammon...even if this could only last for a year or even if one day he stops loving me...

I don't really understand love and things like emotion but...for Mammon...I want to. I want to make him happy! I don't want him to feel sad or pretend to be fine...I know it's impossible but even if it's a little bit...I want to do it!

For Mammon, That's why if possible...can I ask your help from time to time? You don't have to do anything God...just please hear my prayers out for him?

Thank you...and Goodnight."

"Oh they're dating now! My, my...that son of mine didn't really changed at his core huh? Still so shy with affection and a coward..." God idly mused, "but...he's willing to change...all for this human..."

God then briefly wondered if unlike his love for humans...his children's love never faded.

5.

"In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit..." You paused for a long while thinking about the events that transpired...the you that died and the Mammon you've left behind.

"O' God...I am heartily sorry for having offended you," You thought of all the prayers you've sent...blasphemous in nature and irreverent...you smile bitterly " and I detest all my sins because I dread the loss of Heaven and the pains of Hell"

'Even if I'm already here'

"But most of all I offended you my God, who are all good and deserving of my love..." You closed your eyes and for the first time in a long while prayed with all of your heart and soul, "I firmly resolve with the help of your Grace, to confess my sins, to do penance and to amend my life. Amen."

'Please let them be happy...the ones I left behind...let them move on from the hurt and heal together...I'm sorry that I ended up hurting them again.'

For the first time in a long while...God made a miracle.

+ 1

"I take you,Mammon, to be my lovely wedded husband—to have and to hold—from this day forward" You looked at your openly crying husband, "for better and for worse,for richer and for poorer..."

You gently wiped his tears away," in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish—till death do not us part. According to your Father's Holy Law," The whole place erupts in gentle laughter "This I solemnly vow."

You slid the ring into his finger, gently and slowly as if he was fragile glass. You turned to look up to him and smile. Heart breakingly happy at being by his side again.

God spoke at the reception, a familiar glint in Their eye that made Michael sigh and Lucifer wary.

"In all years of my life I've never met a human so bold and courageous to complain straight at my face and commit blasphemy at almost every conversation we had. But I've also never met someone willing to pray for Demons and even come to love one so much with their entirety...in every version of you I saw this remained and I know it isn't because of your lineage but simply because of you who are."

You sat up straight wondering where this was going.

"Human life is fleeting...a mere blink in the eye for us who lived long but in there is beauty in that brief moment. Keep on living as you are, love the beauty that is timeless and ephemeral! And when the time comes the Kingdom of Heaven welcomes you!"

They raised a glass to you and said, "Yours is a love built to last, willing to sacrifice and endure, you have my blessing."

They turned to Mammon and smiled. A smile that reminded you of Mammon's and you turned to your husband and held his hand tighter. Everything would turn out fine.

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 19

it’s 2021 now!! time for more transformers 

we start off w/a flashback showing tyrest retrieving ultra magnus’s body from the ship - and we get a look at magnus’s spark, which is the green color of a 0.1%er [eyes emoji]

tyrest punching magnus..... grrrrr leave my dad alone bastard man

‘the divided self’ what a good title 

rodimus is like listen man this is a lot for my poor thot brain to take in

in flashback land, we see tyrest immediately launch into a crazy person spiel about how he can and will edit the law as he sees fit to conform to the situation, because that doesn't seem like a blatant abuse of power or a huge conflict of interest or anything 

oooh the screen in the corner that says ‘thought warfare,’ I see that

oof, poor magnus. its gotta be rough to hear your boss rant about how bad at your job you are....especially bc this is right after overlord called magnus a joke and nearly killed him

its especially brutal bc as magnus says, his job is his life 

augh, I love the panel where the armor is falling off around minimus, and then the one where he’s holding the ultra magnus head...poetic 

its fascinating that there was an ‘original’ magnus who was an actual guy, and then tyrest chose to make him into this legacy symbol - I'm assuming the OG magnus had no say in this, and probably didn't even know that he was gonna become this lawman legacy figure

I do wanna know though - obviously everyone thought that ultra magnus was one dude, but how did the different guys wearing the armor deal w/that? like, did minimus have people coming up to him like ‘hey ultra magnus old buddy! remember when we fought those guys in that one place? good times!’ like, do they have to study up on the lives of the past armor wearers to prepare for the role of ultra magnus?

augh poor minimus, of course he’s been wondering about what happened with overlord after he was KO’d

oof, drift...I feel like minimus looks surprised and a little skeptical at the idea that drift was the one behind the entire overlord thing - which is interesting bc as we saw at the beginning of the story, he doesn't exactly trust drift, but it’s still pretty far-fetched that one person orchestrated the entire thing

tailgate :(

the concept of a load-bearer is SUPER cool, I love it so much

it also puts a much-needed limit on things - as in, there IS a limit to how much weight/mass a normal cybertronian frame can carry, which is why you don't see everybody upgrading to be Massive - bc they actually CANT

oof, the worst part is that tyrest is RIGHT, minimus essentially DID have a nervous breakdown after the war ended bc of the rigid way he views the world

mental health support is clearly in shambles for cybertronians, yikes. they literally have 1 therapist for their entire race, and he’s not even licensed anymore due to hipaa violations. what a mess

the ‘attention deflectors’ thing is so cool and clever and also a great explanation as to why ratchet or anyone else never said ‘hey wait a minute, you're actually a much smaller dude in a trench coat’ 

I love tailgate knowing all the stuff about the autobot code bc of magnus...my BOY

and THATS why minimus was asking about skids specifically earlier!

oh minimus, please don't put so much stock in tyrest being stable and resonable...

aaaand there's skids and swerve! brainstorm says it best - ‘because something unexpected hasn't happened for at least nine seconds.’ lmao ily brainstorm 

finally checking in w/whirl and cyclonus - god I love that. whirl asking cyclonus how many cons he killed and cyc is like psh I wasn't keeping count....................ok it was six

hhhhh cyclonus IS looking for a cure for tailgate, even though he told tg that there wasn’t anything to hope for....excuse me as I go be emo 

and now we flash over to the unethical medical conduct hell zone, where pharma is being weird and horny and ratchet is appropriately horrified 

I seriously love how unhinged pharma looks, the art & colors do such a good job conveying his feral energy 

ratchet has some massive dick energy for taunting pharma when he’s currently just a head and pharma has dual chainsaws for hands 

ugh, I love whirls speech about anger...and I feel like he really does see cyclonus as a peer, despite cyclonus wanting to kill him, which is why he tells cyclonus all of this 

I fuckgin love that cyclonus’s reaction to very suddenly getting stabbed thru the abdomen is to just glance down at the sword, looking mildly inconvenienced 

back over to ratchet - and at first its like oh wow I can’t believe pharma was stupid enough to let ratchet goad him into this contest....but then you see first aid and ambulon and its like UH OH this is gonna be BAD

the idea that getting sliced in half is no big deal for a cybertronian is wild

‘you're gonna let doctor djd cut us in half?’ yeahhhh that's an appropriate reaction, yikes

FUCKING LENGTHWAYS GOD

pharma you piece of shit

poor ambulon :( :( :( that's fucking brutal. amazing panel but....jesus

and like, to further my point from last issue’s liveblog - the fact that this very gore-y panel is okay, but swearing isn't...that's really funny honestly. I guess robo-gore is acceptable, while I'm guessing regular ole run of the mill human gore wouldn't be

then back to cyclonus, who is still looking only vaguely put out by the sword stuck right thru him

and then cyclonus just pulls it right out, which is a very bad idea for humans but probably not as big of a deal for big near-immortal alien robots

circle of light stuck in capitalistic urban hellscape cubicals 

poor skids, being asked to stand trial while having no idea what his crime is due to Big Amnesia 

OH SHITTTT I totally forgot that getaway shows up here

that is super clever though, with chromedome confusing the name ‘getaway’ with the concept ‘needing to escape’

cant believe tyrest is really dumb enough to tell minimus all his evil plans

BUT that means its time for some very important forged vs constructed cold lore

jro spelling ‘program’ as ‘programme’ made me remember when he said that he considers everyone on the lost light to be british, which is perhaps the least valid thing he’s ever said vhbghjsdbfjkhasbjk

the idea that they used the matrix - which is portrayed as kind of a holy object - in reproductive experiments is really interesting

AUGHHHHH this is all so good and interesting...im really fascinated w/this particular brand of like, alien robot racism/constructism/whatever you wanna call it - I feel like it does such a good job as a plot device, where many other ‘fantasy racism’ concepts from other franchises fail, bc there's not really a ‘human metaphor’ being used here (as far as I know/can tell) - as in, this isn't a thinly veiled metaphor for something that happened/could happen in human history

in fact, this type of bigotry (or w/e you wanna call it) isn't something that is even really possible in humans - I guess if there was a stigma against being born via ivf or something...? but there isn't, so there's no obvious real-world equivalent, which I take as a sign of good writing and worldbuilding - it makes the cybertronians feel more Real, bc of course they would have their own types of bigotry based off of completely different things than humans 

additionally - and this is crucial - tyrest is wrong: there’s no like, inherent moral corruption in cold constructed bots. there's no difference at all, other than method of construction. fantasy racism plotlines often flounder here, with the oppressors having a ‘valid reason’ for oppressing the oppressed, but tyrest is just operated on religious zealot bs and some biased science

like, dude, did you ever think that maybe there are other reasons why your trials only condemned cold constructed bots? like, maybe the trial itself was biased? or societal conditions were to blame? correlation is not causation, my dude, especially when the conclusion is ‘cold constructed bots are inherently SINNERS’ lmao 

like, tyrest rlly said ‘FUCK separation of church and state,’ huh

anyways I just think the whole cold construction vs forged thing is really interesting and well-done, and serves as a good precursor to the more fleshed-out functionism stuff we see later 

so tyrest is clearly off his rockers w/the whole drilling thing - dude, you accidentally gave yourself a lobotomy, okay - but I find it kinda funny that he’s right about a lot of that stuff he said at the end, about primus and the guiding hand and stuff being real 

cyclonus saying ‘tailgate and the others’...I see you, man, I see you

also cyclonus looks fine now??? didn't he just get stabbed??? 

ah, tyrest sprinkling a little light genocide onto his plan to find salvation. nice, dude!

MINIMUS NOOOOOOOOO

‘fully deserved’ SHUT UP BIIIIITCH

poor minimus is taking a lot of Ls this arc, geez

oof, great issue! again, as usual....I loved the lore we got this issue, its so interesting...and some good character stuff too. I love minimus, I feel like he’s gonna be my fav this readthru; my first read my fav was brainstorm, second readthru was whirl, and I feel like its minimus/magnus this time. I just love his character arc...

hype af for more B) 

[easyfella]

plaudite. acta est fabula: thots on my third vlr playthrough

annnnnd done

with all the alt timelines down and all but two secret files obtained, i’m feeling pretty good ending my 3rd (and probably last for at least a long, long time) vlr playthough at a slick 20 hours. i’m pretty excited for my dual phds in metaphysics and philosophy, earned from completing the famed “tripletion” (triple completion), to come in the mail!! anyway, i enjoyed the game, but holy shit, do i have some things to say (spoilers and everything else beneath the cut as always).

i guess i’ll start with the fact that this is a hell of time to pick this game up again, concerned as it is with quarantines and pandemics and plagues and all that. Radical-6 I think hit me harder than it did when I first played this game when i was 15 (context: i turned 21 this last december), for obvious reasons. I remember at one point the game says that 100,000 people died from R6 and it was a huge, global tragedy ... weird to see that so directly mirrored in just the US headlines alone. I don’t have much more to say about the pandemic aspect of the game, but it was a weird thing to start off my playthrough confronting. 

Like I mentioned, my first playthrough was when I was 15, my second I think I was 17, and here I am 4 years later. So why do I keep going back to this game? Well, for one, the plot is dense enough, and my brain is sparse enough, that i find myself surprised by one aspect or another every time. This time, Dio’s blackmailing Sigma to get the Axelever (sp? who cares), how much I liked K, and a lot of the plot after the final puzzle room were surprises for me. That being said, there were also things I dreaded and did not want to revisit: Quark’s and Alice’s suicidality, the part after the first AB game where you go to three different rooms and people info dump on you, most of the puzzle rooms tbh, and good god the part where Luna’s face melts off. I hate it. I hated it at 15, I hate it now. 

And, though my memories are quite fuzzy on ZTD, I’ll say (expanding on Luna’s face melting off) that this is the only game in the series that inspires genuine dread from me. I think, honestly, that it’s 70% how uncanny the models are. K is the only that looks remotely OK, and that’s because he’s a big silly suit of armor in a monk robe. On the flip side, though, this uncanny valley I think works tonally very well for the game. It makes me feel uncomfortable to look at the visuals. Half the environments look like they’re from the original Silent Hill, for God’s sake. It’s not good, but it’s serviceable, and even functional in an accidental sort of way. However, the visuals are the reason I’ve never been able to recommend this game to other people (that and the walls of text, the obscure psuedoscientific rants, the way Alice’s tits are just out ...). 999 is far-and-away the more charming game visually, but I think VLR in its own way has carved out a visual style that works, though it’s jarring initially. Though, I do wonder how approachable the game is in 2020 compared to in 2012, or in 2014 when i played it. I think our need for quality graphics and disdain for poor graphics (especially this sort of ugly, gumby shit) have only increased since. I guess if anyone has any more thoughts on how they feel about the graphics and how approachable it makes the game, pls feel free to dm me. I’d love to talk about how weird this game is.

Changing subjects, I remember liking the music quite a bit more on my earlier playthroughs. Maybe that’s nostalgia talking, or maybe I’ve just grown as a music listener since high school. Probably both. I think it’s really appropriate for the game and great for setting a mood (and I love, love the twist in the credits track), but I think some tracks were overused. “Dun dun .... Dun dun ... Dun dun”  ad nauseam. Uh oh! I know that track! Looks like something deeply horrifying is about to happen! ^_^ I sure hope it’s not that same ugly rendering of Alice being stabbed in the chest :3c (it is. it is the same ugly rendering of Alice being stabbed in the chest.)

Maybe I’ve come across as overly critical, but I do have a deep appreciation for this game. I think that it easily has the best premise I’ve ever, ever come across in a video game, and, no jokes, every game I’ve played since I first came across VLR has failed in comparison to how absolutely genius i think this game is. I’m not exaggerating. The way the plot mirrors the actions of the player, the unique incentivisation of replaying, the way it lets me just be straight up evil occasionally, the twists, the turns, the way i had to cut off my own arm using a warehouse door. the list goes on. The reveal of Zero Sr. is, I think, the most impactful twist in a piece of media i’ve ever experienced. Perhaps I’m a buffoon, but i think this game slam dunks it in terms of pure plot showmanship. that said, i think the exact details of what’s going on where and why (especially at the end irt Kyle, but that’s more of an issue to do with ZTD, and we’ll come to that when we come to that) can get quite murky. 

Admittedly, the game does explain what’s happening; in fact, oftentimes it takes an infuriating amount of time walking through the minutia of what was going on where (the infamous door and map animations are infamous for a reason), but i think that a vague gesture toward the plot is all i need, or really all i get from the game at the end of the day. For me, the plot is more of a vehicle for the scenarios of the nonary games, not the other way around. In a sense, I could care less who’s at what point in time where -- just let me brutally betray this old man in a prisoner’s dilemma situation.  And the game, after pontificating, eventually does. and I fucking love that. God, I adore just smashing that betray button. 

And that’s the fun of the game. Past the over-detailed plot, the predictable music, the gummy looking character models, I love vlr because of how it lets me interact with its world and its characters. I always get to choose either ally or betray, and what happens happens because of that choice that I made. I wish more video games operated like that. Also, I just love Phi. I know this paragraph isn’t about her, but i love rude girls. 

So, I think that’s that. VLR is a mixed bag, but I’m ecstatic that it evens exists, bizarre as it is. 

i’ll be starting my ZTD playthrough probably soon. I don’t remember much about the game besides playing on launch day, finishing it within 48 hours, and being vaguely disappointed, but it’ll be good to move on from all this murdering in VLR to a whole different set of murders.

[valkerymillenia]

Hi, I asked about jason’s memory in my last ask in cbds. Thanks for answering. It made me wonder would jason gets flashes about his time with dick and the twins?I really admire your patience in writing your story. This is why i’ll fail as a writer, because i have absolutely no patience. I mean I would probably rush my story and that would make it turn bad.

Ok, so, no. At first Jason has no memory between his death and the Pit. Eventually though some things start to trigger pieces of memories that he doesn't really understand, his full memory takes quite a while to return and by then he's dug himself into too deep a hole.

Also, you sound EXACTLY like me when I started writing.

So I'mma ramble now. Feel free to ignore the boring story time beneath the cut but I promise it has a point, it's just bound to be long because I don't know what brevity is and when I'm sleep deprived I talk to much.

Before I started writing I always wanted to put stories down into words but I never ever considered writing books, I used to make elaborate fantasy worlds, characters and lives in my head that dragged on for weeks on end, slowly becoming more and more complex, it was pure escapism, but I never thought about writing those stories down precisely because I though "I'll never have the patience to develop this, I'll just rush it or quit halfway".

Then when I was in 10th grade there was a writing contest in my school and two of my cousins were teachers there and writers themselves and encouraged me to enter (there were 3 categories actually- teachers, 7th to 9th grade and 10th to 12th grade). I figured, why not?

The story had to be handwritten under a pseudonym with a 5 page limit (no word limit because it was handwritten, you just had to use standard test paper for 5 pages, and yes, this was normal because not everyone had access to a computer to type their work), it was fiction under the theme "stories of our people" and the judges were a panel of teachers and one famous writer (he had a very popular YA adventure series and some great mythology based novels, unfortunately he passed away a few years later).

Now, bear in mind 2 things. This was a school surrounded by forest in the hills of a small rural city but it was the biggest rural city around and all the other towns and villages sent their kids to high school there, the second thing to remember is that high school is mandatory education in my country so dropping out isn't really an option. Therefore we had hundreds of kids in the high school grades (somewhere between 600 and 800 kids, I think, there's less nowadays because the next town over grew immensely and has its own high school now).

You'd think kids wouldn't be interested in a writing competition but the author that was coming to judge was very popular at the time and, well, it was a high school in the middle of the woods in a small countryside town. Things were boring, ok? We didn't have a mall or a movie theater or anything, so when something popped up to break the boredom (or someone even remotely famous showed up) everyone jumped at it.

So a lot of people participated and me? I was just dragging my feet because "I didn't have the patience", I waited until the last two days before the deadline and poured out a story last minute with a shitty penname based on my mythology obsession (Valkery Thot, you can laugh about it nowadays but Thot was the Egyptian good of scribes and I was NERD).

The story was about two kids that never liked each other growing up even though they lived close to each other, they end up crossing paths on the same adventure to a local inaccessible waterfall we have here in the mountain, they were looking for treasure based on stories and maps from each of their grandfathers and find a cave together where they discover etchings left by said grandfathers and, long story short, the treasure was friendship.

(Sappy as hell, I know, but I was thinking the whole YA adventure mindframe, ok? Plus, it wasn't my preferred writing language, which is English, and I was 15 and literally improvised the whole thing last minute, didn't even draft anything, I just wrote it directly and barely proofread for typos.)

So I entered the contest last minute with no real hopes, it was just an experiment but it proceed to be way more entertaining than I though, without the pressure of actually wanting to win it was easier than I thought.

Award day came and we all gathered in this fancy huge auditorium we had, it was the fanciest part of the whole school but it still couldn't fit everyone in there, then again most students that came just wanted an excuse not to go to class that morning. Anyway...

One of my cousins won in the teacher category and I was all proud. I watched the 3 winners of the 7th to 9th grade category being awarded and started getting distracted (because unless I was drawing or stimming I had the attention span of a goldfish). Then the 10th to 12th grade category came and I was so distracted that they had to call me twice before I realized I'd won second place!

First place went to 12th grade boy that wrote a story called "The Message", very purple prose and perfect grammar, lovely story, but I digress.

Anyway, the famous author was the one to give me my prize and told me my story was very vivid, there were some typos but he was impressed by the creativity and the amount of action I packed into 5 pages while still giving it a satisfying ending. I barely grasped what the heck he was saying at the time because I still had this certainty that I bullshitted the whole thing last minute and couldn't even remember half of what I wrote but I asked him if he thought I "could be real writer someday" and he just said I already was a "real writer" because all it took to be a real writer was putting it it words, that and actually enjoying the world I made up.

It stuck with me. I didn't realize right away that that was my dream, that I wanted to be a novelist, I still wanted to be an artist and was stuck under all those expectations to choose a proper college path and career (I thought I could do law, AH! what was I thinking?!) but it really stuck with me and shortly after I started getting really deep into a side of fandom that I hadn't experienced before (because I never had much access to internet before that) and started to want to put my stories into words even if I never finished them, I still didn't think I had the patience or the originally.

A few years later I realized that when it comes to something I'm passionate about I do indeed have the patience, by age 12 I had already been writing long comprehensive character bios, story details, transcribed quotes, meta theories, summaries and collecting tons of info of all my favorite fandoms and not to share, just for fun (and probably OCD) this went on for years before I even found out that the internet had whole websites and encyclopedias for such things (not like today though but yeah), and it had never occurred to me the patience that that in itself required.

My first fics were atrocious! Mostly because I made A LOT of typos due to not being used to writing in English full time but my thoughts came more naturally in English and I didn't enjoy writing fiction in Portuguese anyway (poetry though? Absolutely), I also used extremely exaggerated plot points, be it drama, angst or romance. But people liked the stories for the content and not the accurate spelling so I kept at it. I never used to finish my fics back then, not due to lack of patience but mostly because I put too much pressure on myself to make a story perfect and would stop having fun.

When I started writing purely for fun and passion (and realized that not every story needed to be a novel length epic) that's when I started churning out my best (and ironically longest) stories and getting better and better.

I won't lie, having readers encouraging me was key, it's half of the fuel I need to keep going, outside interest is an incredible motivator, but mostly I just realized that the key to good writing is:

Less pressure + more passion = all the patience you need

This doesn't just apply to original work though, it's also about fanfic.

Holy crap, that was a lot of words just to sum everything up on that one bold sentence... See, I could never have written this much when I was in high school, that's also a matter of practicing until letting your thoughts out into writing becomes second nature but that's a whole other story.

Anyway... Thanks for the lovely message. It's the story of thing that means the world to me ❤️

(and PS- no, I haven't won any other contests since that one but I have published articles on magazines, no published novels yet though because I don't think my original ideas are ever good enough to follow through).

[toast-the-unknowing]

What are the #thots on CDTH?

This is begging for one of those “edgy/depressed/dumbass bitch/thot/bastard” memes, but sadly you sent it to someone with no patience for slapping together graphics, so you get a lot of words instead. Behind a cut, for length and SPOILERS.

I really enjoyed this book, my reactions to most of the additions to canon were positive, it felt a wide range of emotions while reading it and upon finishing I found that it had knocked me sort of off center in that way where I don’t want to write anything ever again, or read anything, or really do much but stare out of windows. I know that feeling will pass, but I’m soaking in it for now. I haven’t yet discerned if there are going to be any substantial changes to the ways that I write these characters, when I write these characters again.

I loved Ronan in this book, which was a relief. I had been a bit worried that Maggie intended for him to end up as Lonely God Ronan, isolated and just too damn special for the rest of humanity, but it now appears that is very much not the plan. It hurt watching him be trapped at the Barns, wanting something different from life and not knowing how to get it, and it was amazing to watch him forge a connection with someone new and find the capability that he has to help other people, instead of just kind of thinking of himself as the fuck-up.

Holy Shit I felt emotions about Matthew, that was unexpected and unprecedented. Fuck did that boy make me sad. I am greatly looking forward to seeing where his story goes, now that he actually has one. I want some quality Matthew & Jordan dream duo bonding time.

I want, just, quality Jordan content in general, I love Jordan, I need more of her, she was wonderful.

Hennessy leaves me cold, but I had a very similar reaction to Ronan until most of the way through The Dream Thieves, so I am giving her the benefit of the doubt and waiting to see what happens in the future.

HOLY SHIT I LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT DECLAN.

It did crack me up that it literally took one page for the book to start talking shit about him, but I also found the whole “Declan is deliberately, crushingly boring” idea interesting. It surprised me but still makes sense in retrospect, which is the best kind of surprise. I hadn’t pictured him as the kind of guy who would go to work and let people snap at him and call him by the wrong name, but I think my understanding might have been a little closer to the version of Declan that still thought he could have Senator or Congressman in front of his name. I think Declan might be the character I most have to reconsider, but I’m happy with how he was portrayed here and I’m looking forward to doing that reconsideration, and to seeing what happens to him next in canon.

God but he just continues to be the hardest working brother, and he still fucks it up, but he doesn’t want to fuck up, but he just shouldn’t have to deal with all of this shit, and ow, ow, my heart.

I adored Declan/Jordan and every moment where she delights in surprising an honest reaction out of him. “I see the real you when no one else does” is EXACTLY my kind of ship.

I had really wanted this trilogy to force Ronan to reexamine his understanding of his father, but getting to see Declan do some actual work on processing his pain is fantastic too. I love all of the moments where he admits that he hates Niall. It fucked me up so bad, because it’s like he doesn’t want to be thinking or saying it but he just cannot keep it in. It’s like his emotional nightwash, but he doesn’t get to dream it away.

@comicsohwhyohwhy​ and I once discussed the problem of Ashley, and we JOKINGLY suggested that maybe the Ashley from TRB and the Ashley mentioned in TRK are two different Ashleys, that maybe Declan has just dated a string of women named Ashley, and then we had a good laugh about how absurd that would be, and I cannot fucking believe that that has turned out to be canon. I am oddly delighted with this development.

I am happy with the Adam content that we got and with the size of his role. I felt like the book did a good job of honoring his importance in Ronan’s life, letting him be present and matter and affect Ronan (and disagree with him in productive ways where they didn’t just argue and where he wasn’t just Declan 2.0), while still keeping him in a support role, since that was apparently the goal. I’m unclear on what kind of role he’s going to have going forward, but it looks like he’s being set up to have some kind of character arc, with the “Adam is lying to everyone who knows him” situation, so I really do want that to pay out and go somewhere, even if he does continue to be a supporting rather than featured character.

That whole Harvard situation breaks my heart: Adam’s friends think that his family is wonderful and that his boyfriend is a violent drunk. I can’t imagine any interactions around that that aren’t fucked up. Adam having to defend Ronan to his friends any time he comes up, but not being able to tell the truth, so he just sounds like he’s making empty excuses for someone that’s bad for him…which is something that he has in fact had to do, but not about Ronan, about the parents that all of his friends are “jealous” of him for having. Fuck. FUCK.

I loved every mention of Gansey and Blue. I can understand why Maggie doesn’t want to include them as characters, but that could have easily ended in a situation where they’re just…noticeably absent, and instead we got this, confirmation that they still talk to their friends and love them and are involved in their lives, plus we got A+ Gansey-texts-like-an-old-man content.

I enjoyed Farooq-Lane a lot just from a standpoint of being an ordinary normal person who gets put into a weird as shit situation and then…continues to be an ordinary normal person who has ordinary normal reactions to things. I find that kind of shit fascinating – it’s the kind of thing that makes for great comedy and improv, but it can also be very effective in drama, and we really got to see a wide range here.

What. the actual. fuck. is up with the New Fenian and Mor O Corra. Like I mean okay the Lynches have to live through all their parent trauma again, yeah I get that, okay Niall apparently made a dream double of an actual woman he’d slept with which like, wow I didn’t think Aurora could be retroactively creepier but damn if Niall didn’t find a way, blah blah I get all that. But like. What is – what is that relationship, exactly? Between them? Niall’s ex made a dream copy of him, too, but like…as a kid? Or one that doesn’t age? Has Mor O Corra out-creepered Niall Lynch? What the actual fuck is up with those two. I almost don’t want to know. I kind of love being this weirded out.

Bryde is really goddamn tiresome. I am expecting he’s going to turn out to be a villain and honestly that can’t happen fast enough for me. Although I  anticipate that we’ll see Ronan buying into his crap more before that happens, so, it looks like we get to look forward to a lot more overblown insufferable monologues about how “special” we are and how we’re better than those gross boring mundane people. Blah.

I’m kind of disappointed that this is apparently a series where the stakes are THE END OF THE WORLD and where the protagonists have to fight a SHADOWY INTERNATIONAL GOVERNMENT ORGANIZATION that can send ARMIES of WELL-ARMED HIGHLY TRAINED OPERATIVES to HUNT DOWN THE PEOPLE WITH SUPERPOWERS – this is 90% of all fantasy stories, and it’s boring, and I’m tired of it. I like that the stakes in The Raven Cycle are small but still immensely meaningful. What happens in The Raven Cycle if the characters don’t succeed? Gansey dies. Ronan dies and Matthew falls asleep. Adam doesn’t go to college. Blue doesn’t get to travel the world. The world doesn’t explode, but we still care so so much about seeing them succeed, because we care so much about those characters living and getting to build the future they want. That’s a thousand times more interesting to me than “we have to…[dramatic music, put on sunglasses] SAVE THE WORLD.” Spare me.

I’m still going to read the other two, obviously, and I’m not even really mad about this, mostly just rolling my eyes. But I expect that Maggie is going to use this plot device I don’t care about to do things emotionally and character-wise that I do care about, and that’s the important part.

There is one actual thing that pisses me off with this book, that I actively hate and wish was not a part of canon, that I will probably just ignore and pretend isn’t canon, at least once I have wrapped my head around the fact that it even happened in the first place: why the fuck does Ronan go to confession.

I was willing to accept in The Raven Cycle that Maggie had no interest in doing anything with the fact that she had made the Catholic character and the gay character the same character, because Ronan is actively figuring himself out in the course of that series, because there’s so much else going on in his head and his life that I can buy that religion isn’t his top priority, because hey, I kind of liked that the series wasn’t one more Sad Story About A Sad Gay Who Is Sad Because Homophobia. I can accept a Ronan who goes to mass every week because that’s family time, because that’s tradition, because that’s what Lynches do.

But going to confession – with some degree of regularity! – is not going through the motions. When I was a Catholic school girl and an ALTAR SERVER who went to mass twice a week, confession was still a “maybe once during Lent, if we get around to it” kind of deal. What the hell does Ronan say in confession, exactly? He’s not confessing to the shit that he actually feels guilty about, playing god and creating life, because that’s a secret. He’s not confessing to the thing that he’s getting told every week is going to send him to hell. So what is he doing there?

This ceases to be “skipping past homophobia so we can just have a nice happy gay story for once (or at least a story that’s unhappy for other reasons)”. This is firmly into “deliberately and cruelly ignoring the real pain and suffering that the Catholic Church inflicts on oppressed people every single day” and I think it was a grave, grave misstep.

So my super general #thots: loved it, largely positive, some things I’m iffy on but excited to see where they go, a couple of plot elements/characters I don’t care for but can put up with for the sake of all of the good, one big negative that will probably feature only very very sparingly in canon.

[sekoui]

you,,, watched,,, esp s2,,, my fav isak season,,, give us thots pls 🤧

i was pretty emotionally connected to wtfock

but this hit me like a truck. i didn’t cry much for wtfock (during OHN i did, and now i get emotional when i hear wildfire but that’s it)i cried in every episode of skam esp season 2. and sometimes through multiple clips. there are a number of reasons why1. the relationship between amira and crisholy shit their friendship is beautiful. the way that skam esp tied in so many aspects of other characters’ struggles was so so well done. learning about viri, watching amira experience ramadan while teaching her friends, seeing how amira navigated cris’s mother’s comments, how cris navigated her mother’s comments, seeing how cris set up this whole iftar (that she had cancelled originally) just for her best friend, seeing their friendship flourish and develop so so deeply. and to have been best friends since they were tiny??? cris’s mother had some respect for amira but the backhanded comments still happened. like, she admired this girl so much but also pitied her for her faith and believed that her decisions were not her own. like amira was somehow the “other” of the muslims and still pulled into something that cris’s mama believed to be negative. this was so fucking real. it was really nice to see a muslim supporting character show up consistently and in a way that was meaningful and loving. i hope we get an amira season one day because i’ll frankly die. she and yasmina are really dear to my heart.2. joana + borderline personality disorderobviously the evens are a highlight of the season. i have personal connections to bipolar (many of my family members have it) but one of my best friends has borderline personality disorder. to see joana replicate some of our own experiences as friends, to see her struggle through something that i know is so difficult for my friend, was literally beautiful. the way she describes herself, the way she perceives herself, how there’s so much push and pull. i had been warned that this isak season was the most back/forth of the isak seasons between isak/even and at first i brushed it off. but as the season continued i got to see what they meant when they said there was so much back and forth. and for good reason.borderline personality disorder is so misunderstood and has 0 representation. it’s hard to understand for the medical community, for friends and family of someone with BPD but even more for the person that has BPD. the back and forth between them was so fucking realistic. i’ve witnessed her experience it in her own relationships and even her friendship with me. i’ve learned a lot about BPD through her but what i love love love about this season was that it was a stark reminder that mental illness is not a barrier to love.  3. the girls??? HELLOholllyyy shit i loved this girlsquad. i loved that the season felt so female-focused (though i think all of skam esp’s seasons have been female-focused so far, so big win for me). but their genuine love and support. the gentle way they call each other out. the way they try to understand each other. there was no nasty infighting. it was really nice to see how much they all show their love for each other in different ways. like– my heart. and soul. they are so in tune with one anothers’ feelings that i couldn’t help but fall more in love with them every time they were together. and separately too, what the hell? how perfect are they?i love how they pulled joana into their friendgroup without treating her like “x’s girlfriend” but rather as her own person.they are so embracing of one another. they really look out for each other in such intimate ways– and when the girls were listening to cris and they all got emotional? I FELT IT UGHH4. the boys??? HELLOshout out to the boy squad for being supporting characters that are not annoying/toxic/chauvinist/disgusting. and for being supportive. like?? coming to the iftar, showing up to the lame party, checking on the girls. and for their internal support of each other off-screen or on the side? loved that5. the cultural similarities to my own culturei’ve always said that hispanic culture and arab culture are pretty similar. the notion that they are all living with their parents felt relatable to me, i can’t relate to the other seasons as much because my parents, never in 1 million years, would have let me moved into a flatshare with friends and paid for it (lmfao?!!?).there are other things here but i can’t remember them all off the top of my head6. cris loli love that cris is someone who is so confident in some areas but doubts herself and her abilities. she thinks she’s not smart so she doesn’t try as hard or study as much. she is so loving to her friends and is there for them in ways she doesn’t even realize she is and that’s so beautiful because her selflessness comes from the heart. i love how she was afraid of the future but was still willing to face it. side note? i love how joana instilled confidence in her academically. to see joana notice cris’s insecurity and build her up to believe that she is smart and has good ideas was so heartwarming. i loved that there was a balance between them in terms of who needed the confidence to grow in something and it wasn’t all about cris’s internalized rejection of her sexuality? and that joana could be that for her. 7. dani’s crush on amiraLMAOOOO I UNEXPECTEDLY LOVED THIS SOOO MUCH??? to see this guy who has a crush (and has had one!?) on his sister’s best friend (that his mom is like “omg she’s gonna marry some guy right out of high school”!!) is so cute. and the way he POPS UP when cris asks to be taken to the hospital and he’s like“AMIRA!??!?”because he genuinely cares about her but doesn’t creep on her AT ALL?? help i loved that all in all i really loved the season and i am sure i had more to say last night while i was bawling about it but it is what it is!!