#this episode is an unexpected favorite of mine

[justafriend-ql]

I have no one now. I am alone. I'm so lonely. NEVER LET ME GO Ep 10 | Me

[erinelliotc]

I was thinking about "A Fistful of Ed" because I always see people talking about how gay they're being in this scene. I personally never thought much about it because Eddy's using Double D's reputation as a bully to earn respect from the other kids and boss everyone around and that naturally makes him very excited and makes him cling to Double D (more than usual), which in the end doesn't change how gay the scene is because there was no need for him to be so nice to Double D and worry so much about making him comfortable in order to use him (like when he makes Double D his wife/romantic partner in his scams/plans. There's no need for this, it doesn't change anything in the plan, he just adds this part because he wants to). Double D is already his long time friend, he didn't need to act differently in any way to use him to his advantage, he just had to be around him as usual.

And before even thinking about ruling the place, Eddy's first reaction was to be impressed and extremely excited and admired by Double D, finding him very cool, and I'd say he even seems attracted to that side of Double D. With this vision in mind, the way he starts to act towards Double D from then on seems like someone "marking territory", wanting to show that that cool and strong guy already has an owner. Eddy's feeling like the luckiest guy in the world to be close to such a cool guy like him. The scene now has a "Look at my cool boyfriend who's going to kick your ass! You wish you had him, but he's mine!" energy. He also wants to be nice to Double D to please and seduce him.

From this, I conclude that part of his excitement is because he's actually genuinely proud and happy for Double D that he has finally become more confident and learned to be able to defend himself, something we know he really wanted to happen and tried to help Double D with in "Tag Yer Ed" (one of my favorite episodes because it shows how much Eddy cares about Double D, as he spends the entire episode, spontaneously, just dedicating himself to helping Double D be stronger and more confident because he can't stand seeing him being mistreated by others), and besides, I think he might find it hot to see Double D show an aggressive, strong, confident and determined side for a change, and that also makes him admire him more and think he's cool because it reminds him of his brother, the person he admires most in the world.

In fact, I came to this interpretation because I was reflecting more and this scene from "A Fistful of Ed" reminded me of a post someone made about a scene from "Tinker Ed" (a post that Danny Antonucci shared on Facebook by the way!!!) and made me draw a parallel between the two scenes.

The post talks about how Double D's smitten with Eddy in this scene. He doesn't seem like someone who's just happy for his friend, his expressions indicate that he seems to be melting with love for Eddy's unexpected kindness. He's completely touched by just seeing Eddy being kind, as if this were his weakness, something that makes him more attracted to Eddy.

But the impression I have is that Eddy's acting like this on purpose, trying to seduce Double D (maybe not from the beginning, but the moment he realizes that Double D is completely melting in love with him, he immediately takes advantage of the moment) because he was so inexplicably sweet in this scene, he never acts like that, but he knows how much Double D appreciates kindness. There's no heterosexual explanation (so much so that this episode's storyboard was made by Raven Molisee, so it was certainly intentionally gay). It seems to me that he just wanted to share a sweet romantic moment with Double D and wanted to melt his heart by showing him how kind he can be sometimes. Like, Double D says he's very proud of Eddy in the most passionate tone of voice possible, and Eddy immediately reacts by reciprocating and wrapping him in his arm, and the detail of his hand on Double D's waist always gets me. And Eddy even keeps showing off to Double D, bragging about his kindness, saying he's "all heart". And on top of that, Eddy saying "Right, Ed?", asking him to confirm what he's saying, why does he suddenly involve Ed in the situation? It seems a lot like that kind of situation where a guy asks his friend to help him win over his crush by confirming the things he tells his crush with the intention of seducing him. Like, why is he trying so hard to convince Double D that he's a sweetheart? I don't know any other way to interpret this other than him blatantly flirting with Double D. They exchange lots of touches and looks and end the scene walking away hugging each other exactly like a couple, and they do it so naturally.

Anyway, the parallel I wanted to draw when comparing both scenes was that in both they surprise each other with unexpected behaviors that please them. Eddy was attracted to Double D's supposed aggressiveness and determination, and Double D was attracted to Eddy's supposed kindness and sweetness. They're also both proud of each other in both scenes.

[charlesswife]

Una Noche En Mónaco ii

Mateo Con Una T (Mateo with one t)

unem masterlist

pairing: charles leclerc x latina! reader

summary: after a one night stand between you and charles, he continues on with his formula one career. until two months later, you come back claiming to be pregnant with his child.

warning: bad writing, charles is a bit of an asshole at first, google translate because i dont speak french, teen pregnancy, english isnt my first language so there might be some grammatical error.

a/n: THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU GUYS HAVE SHOWN IN THE FIRST EPISODE! It makes me so happy to know that you guys really liked it. I really have sooooo many ideas and twist for this book, like you guys have no idea, so always expect the unexpected hehehe

Just to clarify y/l/n is your last name. This is your story so I didn't want to give reader a last name.

second A/N: for some reason i can't write chapters on my phone because the letters are black. I have it in dark mode but i didnt have that problem before. does anyone else have that problem?

gif is not mine!

May 2018 

Charles Leclerc was a gentleman. That's how I remember him. The way he took care of me after the several rounds of sex we had. He is definitely the kind of man I don't ever want to forget. He was very sweet and caring. 

But he was only a one-night stand. I don't really know him, as him. The fact that I have to tell him I'm pregnant with his child absolutely terrifies me. I wish my parents were here. If they were, I don't think I would be in this situation. 

Charles sent me the address where he was staying at. As I got closer to the place, I realized it was the same place where I woke up. Is this his apartment? 

Steph left me at the doorstep. I needed her as moral support, just in case things didn't go as planned. 

"Go," Steph said as she hugged me. "I'll be waiting in the car, don't worry. If he does anything, we'll sue him. You have the money for it" 

Money wasn't a problem for me. I just wanted him to be there, I'm scared and I don't want to do this alone. I know Steph is here for me, but it is not her responsibility at all, it is mine and his. 

I took a long breath and rang the bell. Steph went back to the car and after a few minutes, Charles opened the door. 

He had such a bright smile on his face. "Oh, cara mia," he pulled me into his apartment and then close the door. He grabbed my face with both of his hands and try to kiss me but I pushed him slightly by his chess. His thick brows frowned a bit and then he asked, "What's wrong?"

I looked at him in the eyes and said. "We need to talk" 

February 2023 

I walked to my bookstore with Mateo in hand. Steph was the first one to greet us. 

"Auntie!" Mateo let go of my hand and ran to my best friend. 

"Maty!" Steph got down to the level of my kid and hugged him. "Uff, why are you getting so big, huh? How is my favorite godson doing?" 

Mateo laughed. "I'm your only godson, tia" (aunt) 

"How would you know, Alexander Jules?"

"Mommy told me, and Mommy would never lie," he pointed at me. "Verdad, mami?" (right, Mommy?) he looked back at me. 

"Si, mi amor (yes, my love)" I nodded at him. "Stay with your tia (aunt) while I check stuff in the store, okay? And don't forget to pick up a book" I told him, to which he nodded. 

Mateo Alexander Jules Y/l/n is four and one quarter. He likes to remind people of that. He is the most educated boy I know, and I'm not saying that just because I'm his mother, but because it's the truth. I have seen other kids and they are horrible, ungrateful brats. I hate kids. Except for my son. I want to think I did a good job raising him. He looks a lot like Charles. From the eyes' color and shape to the dimples to the hair, to the lips. 

I walked around the store, checking books that needed to be restocked and putting some books back in place. I went to the cafe and got my regular iced coffee. 

I walked around again until I got to my favorite section. Murder & Mysteries. In there, I saw a lady. Probably in her mid-50s. Blonde hair, she was dressed casually. She was looking around at the books. Picking one up, reading the back, and then putting the book back on the shelf. 

"Do you need any help?" I asked her. 

She turned around and looked at me up and down. "Oh, dear. I thought I was alone. You work here?" 

"Something like that," This answer seemed to confuse her. "Is there anything I could help you with?" 

She turned her sight to the books again. "Well, I'm trying to find a good mystery book but none of them catches my eye. I'm looking for something similar to Alexander Y/l/n or Perla Campos. They are my favorite authors" 

I stared at her for a second. What are the odds? I looked back at the bookshelf until I found the book I was looking for. "This one should do."

She looked at the cover and asked "The Seven and 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle?" 

"It's not as near as good as what Alexander Y/l/n and Perla Campos used to write, but if you like their books, I'm sure you'll like this one," I explained as I see her read the back of the book. "Another option would be 'The Secret Inheritance' by Cassandra Matthew." (lmao idk if that book is real) 

I handed her the book and she took it gladly. She read the back and then looked at me. "These are very good suggestions! Thank you, dear. What's your name?" 

"Y/n," I told her. 

"Nice to meet you, I'm Pascale" 

August 2018 

Pregnancy wasn't easy. I never thought I would cry so much in the span of 5 minutes just because I ran out of my favorite gelato. 

Today was my fifth visit to the doctor, and I was nervous as hell. I am more bigger than a regular pregnant woman, it has me fearing for my baby's life or even mine. 

"Okay, Y/n. You know the drill. Lay down, and lift your shirt up. As always the gel is cold" Dr. Williams said. She is always so gentle with me. Maybe she pities me. 

"I have concerns," I told her. She looked at me as she was putting on the gel. "My belly looks bigger than normal, is that okay?"

"It depends, in most cases, yes. It means the baby is healthy. But let's take a look" She moved her sight to the machine. The image of my baby appears immediately in the sonogram. She moved the transducer to another spot on my belly and I could see her eyes widen a bit. She was going on up and down in the same area. "I think I have a better answer to your question." She looked at me and said, "You're having twins" 

February 2023 

"Mami, can I read Nancy Drew?" Mateo came running to me as he showed me the first book in the series. 

I looked at the book and say "I don't think so, love. It might be too much for you. This is for bigger kids" 

"But I am a big kid!" The old lady, Pascale, laughed. 

"This is your son?" she asked.

I nodded with a smile. Mateo looked at Pascale and stayed quiet. He knew it was rude to interrupt conversations. He got behind me, hiding.

Pascale tilted her head for a moment, narrowed her eyes a bit, and murmured "He kind of looks like... never mind. What's your name, little boy?" 

He looked at me for a second. "Answer her, baby. It's rude to not answer to elders" I told him.

"I'm Mateo with one T" he lifted one finger.

This made Pascale laugh again. "Nice to meet you, Mateo with one T" 

"Why don't you take the book to Tia and tell her I say to check it out" Mateo nodded and ran towards the register, he stopped for a second and came back walking. 

"Goodbye," He said to Pascale while giving her a little waving and then walking back to the register. 

"He looks like a bundle of joy," Pascale said as she sees Mateo walk away. 

"He is," I agreed. "Is there anything else I can help with?" 

"No, that's all. Thank you for the help. I'm ready to check out." 

We walked to the register and started the process to check her out. I did the usual routine. I asked if she had an account with us, which she didn't, but she decided to get one. 

"Okay, Pascale. What's your last name?"

"You can just put an L," I did as she told me. As I was checking out her books, she said "This is such a pretty bookstore. I have never been here before." 

"Thank you," I said. 

"She's the owner," Steph spoke as she was playing hands with my son, who shushed her for butting in the conversation. 

Pascale looked at me with wide eyes. I laughed at her reaction. She inserted her card and paid. I put her books in a bag and grabbed one of the coupons. "Here is a ten-percent coupon to use on your next visit!" 

"I will definitely come back. I need to tell you if I like the books or not." 

"Oh boy," I laughed.

"I might even bring one of my sons with me" Oh boy... This isn't the first time a mother has try to set me up with their kids. 

"Please do!" Steph yelled. Mateo put his small hands in her mouth and murmured a small 'no tia, don't talk'. 

"See you next time, Pascale" 

"Bye Y/n," She walked to the entrance as she passed my boy, she turned and say "Goodbye, Mateo with one T" 

"Bye-bye." 

After she left the store, Steph turned to me. "She didn't say goodbye to me. How rude?" 

"Jesus Christ, Steph. Why would you tell her that?" I elongated the a in 'that'. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I know I left you guys with open scenes between the first and third scenes but everything is for a reason!!! I might do Charles POV on the next one!!! Trust the process guys, things are going to get sooo good.

If you guys don't know (just in case) Pascale is Charles' mother.

Please let me know what you think of it. I would really appreciate any type of comment, whether is your opinion or just anything! It would def motivate me to keep going. I would really appreciate if you guys like and repost as well! So other people can be aware of this story.

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[cconfusedkat]

💤 YELLOW! I am Kat-- or Ameer-- or Ameera-- or Sydney-- YEAH. You get the gist of it ^v^;; Buuuuut on this blog I am mainly known as Kat or Sydney ～( °∇^)］I use hx/shi. No there aren't any other alternatives you'll have to go through my Evil Secular Haze Maze to know my other pronouns (just kidding he/him is fine too)

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ND THOSE ARE ONLY MY SPINTERESTS ND HYPER FIXES!! I def like more things that aren't just those two big things :-]c I love animangas and reading a lot of Yuri and yaoi ^_^ mascot horror is my favorite thing Ever. I also rlly like Minecraft series stuff , and I rollerblade as a lil hobby of mine ,,

If you want my full list then bada bing bada BOOM 🗣🗣🗣

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[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Cameos & Familiar Faces

Entirely subjective yadda yadda. Organized by favs in each category. No numbered lists anymore, tumblr be buggn'.

End of Aug Start Sept 2023

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Sat iQIYI) 8fin - Oh the DRAMA. Why does the insane ex (my true love) remind me of the cartel leader from Romancing the Stone? Even the sides got HEA! It was fucking great!!!!! Charn remains a bonkers spoiled evil murderous brat with a cruel smile beloved by his one true paladin. Also: post it love note trope! Been a long while my old friend. NO SINGING!!!!! I do love that wedding jacket frock coat cape thing Charn wore. 

In conclusion: This is a great gay suspense thriller with several solid couples, fun plot, killer characters, queer rep, and a happy ending. Charn may be my favorite lead character of 2023. However, this show is not entirely BL, more on the fringe, like Manner of Death. Add that to several "singing incidents" and pairs being a little weak in the chemistry arena, and this lands safely in 9/10 territory. It’s tons of fun tho: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. 

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Sat grey) ep 3 of 12 - This show is getting more and more lakorn each ep. Apparently the straights are having a class divide arranged marriage crisis. Who cares? Our boy is ALWAYS in trouble. Crazy that he has to save the people who betrayed him in a previous life - but I guess he chose revenge! That's unexpected.

Had to switch to grey and couldn’t find a working rip. It was frustrating and I wouldn’t have bothered except I like this show so much. Still, it means no screen caps because the rez is naff.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - Uh oh. Kang wants to save Sailom and be his hero. The fact that K’s Pa puts no pressure on him whatsoever, makes me wonder if K's Ma committed suicide or something? It’s definitely the opposite parental dynamic we normally see in BL. I have to say, the pacing is great in the show. And the acting is on point. It’s really great. 

Hidden Agenda (Sun YT) ep 8 of 12 - these two just kiss well. I mean not "rip your clothes off Taiwan-style," but sweet young boyfriends-esk. Joke wants to be claimed so bad. It’s great. I enjoyed this ep, unfortunately it looks like we have a manufactured angst drama drop in the next episode. Is this a 10 episode arc? I thought it was 12. It’s odd to have doom happening next episode already.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 4 of 10 - Back story time! Ray and Mew are HARD to watch. Incestuous friend group gay is the worst. Omg I got such QAF vibes from this ep. Nick Boston Sand chats = very throw back 90s gay soaps. 

Location game moment: Top's hotel room is also Chan’s apartment in Laws Of Attraction. 

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 1 of 8 - Ooo. Est is back! Hi handsome. Head of security suits you. Please lead out the new Waterboyy remake? You’re perfect for the role. (If it must happen.) Yi’s Pa is GREAT. Please give daddy a nice boy? Could that be our secondary couple for this series? 

Meanwhile, with the leads (sorry I was distracted by daddy) we got us an arranged marriage, run away bride, and an amnesia trope. Put in a secret baby and it's squarely 1980's Harlequin. Will there be Vikings? Sex herbs? Pirates? Dub con?

Be Mine Super Star��(Mon Viki) ep 9 of 12 - Again with lovely sex scenes, it’s just the plot stringing them together is frayed. Also don’t fuck in an onsen. Both yech and ouch.

That goes for all y’all.  

Wedding Plan (Wed YT & iQIYI) ep 7fin - Trash watch here! Honestly this was an okay ending, I’m not mad at it. If you can tolerate Mame and liars (kinda the same thing) you’ll be fine with this show.

Summation: An innocent wedding planner falls haplessly and hopelessly in love with a groom who relentlessly pursued him, even though he’s about to marry someone else. A somewhat lackluster mame offering with less of the usual stellar chemistry, but all of the usual lies and manipulation. 7/10

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - I skip everything to do with Tammy and it’s fine. There’s only about 20 minutes of fine but that’s more than enough. On the bright side. So far. No singing.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 24 eps - Cassanova Begins Part 2. Aw. It was sad. Another variation on the “my ghost boyfriend” trope (usually sad). 2/10 I don't do sad BL.

Next up is Merry Go Round featuring the pair from Destiny Seeker (we likey) who want to marry each other, but end up fake engaged to the same woman. Beard squared? Looks silly.

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - There are 2 things I like about this. I bet you can guess what they are.

Lee Long Shi

The whipping boy trope

There wasn’t enough of either in this first ep. ALSO the captions, sound effects, and voice over are truly next level bad. Utterly atrocious.

The 2 leads fucking around in the end credits was the funniest part of the whole show. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thur Viki) ep 7 of 8 - I am confused and frustrated about what the communication delay is between the two Juns. It feels artificial and narratively manufactured. But since this is a short form KBL and I know it will be resolved quickly, I’m not as annoyed as I would be if this were Thai BL. Still it feels audience manipulative. I also feel sorry for Simon. BUT it looks like it’ll be a sweet boyfriends final episode.

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 10fin - Omg they’re so cute!!! Taiwan the purveyors of ultimate sappy gay domesticity. I am going to miss having these to nonsencing all over my dash.

This show was an interesting take on the "ghost boyfriend" trope. About a boy who is tormented by hearing the dead, except when he is around one other boy - desperation+proximity = love. Unfortunately, the story was erratic and waffled about. While the leads turned in solid performances and the sappy domesticity was off the charts, it never really had the strength of the narrative convictions such a strong concept should have supplied. Highly rewatchable and enjoyable for that sappy domesticity but not a whole lot more. Still I always give extra credit for the diabetes-inducing sugar content and rewatch capacity. 8/10 

Kisseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) eps 3 of 13(?) - I love the punching thing - there is a lot of violent flirting in this show. I’m not mad about it. Ugh, poor thing has real abandonment issues. And now trust issues. I see why we’re getting 12-14 eps. This gonna be MESSY.

Meanwhile, does EVERYONE have a guest cameo? Not that I’m complaining. Hi BLIHID boys! Now I need to rewatch that show. 

Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) eps 7-8 of 10 - Oh my God the next morning w/ couple 2 was so darn cute. They are all such terrible flirts with each other. Honestly, this show makes me laugh more than any other BL currently airing. I’m not sure it is meant to be as funny as I find it. While couple 3 (the mature characters) is by far my favorite, I actually think they don’t work with the other two pairs, they feel superfluous to the show. I like the show better because they’re in it, but it feels like two different BL‘s stuck together. KBL certainly can’t handle more than two couple threads at the same time. 

Why R U? (Korea Wed iQIYI) eps 3-4 of 8 - Ugh. I am such a sucker for the FighterTutor dynamic. Why so good? Uh oh. Real kiss! KBL you're spoiling us. But, isn’t sad-seme-hyung dating some chick? Argh. Poor Sunwoo. This show is even worse at repping Fighter's character sympathetically. Who knew that was possible?

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 3 of 8 - The date episode! Even Japan is doing it now. And these two who have been living/fucking together for ages still dance around each other like junior high kids. I gotta say, I watch this one twice because Vicki has different subs from Gaga. I feel like it’s easier to understand if I watch two different translations of the same script. But it’s still quite a taciturn piece. 

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) ep 8 of 12 - Sides are great. It was mostly a cute ep with tiny bits of Progress and a proper Confession. I miss Shin’s siblings. And then… the much loathed amnesia trope. Really?

Everyone say it with me: Must you, Japan? 

Stay Still (Hong Kong Tues YouTube) ep 5fin - It ended happier than I was expecting. Optimistic for one couple, and most likely optimistic for the other.

Summation: What to say about this offering from Hong Kong? It’s different, a mix of early CBL, Taiwanese shorts, and Pinoy visuals. It felt like the story was 2 independent shorts that had been lengthen and then stuck together, and I wish they'd been approached as separate and tighter entities. Nevertheless, this was a complex little piece,  interesting in a sweaty grungy way, with a certain aura of queer authenticity that made it simultaneously tense, unpredictable, and refreshing. I’m not sure I would necessarily call it BL, but any county’s early foray into the genre usually starts out this way, so perhaps nascent BL? Worth watching, especially if you enjoy stuff from the Philippines and Taiwan. 7/10

In case you missed it

Dinosaur Love ended its run but the final 2 eps are behind a paywall. Word on the street is they aren't good anyway (shocker) so I'm marking it as DNF and moving on with my life. If I can find em grey I'll watch 'em merely so I can give it a rating, but I can't imagine it will get more than 5/10. Seriously, do not bother.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Coming September

9/15 You Are Mine (Taiwan Gaga) Secretary has to deal with grumpy boss.

9/15 Bump Up Business AKA Bump Up Project (Korea movie) suspected cinema release? I don't know much about what's going on. Last status update. Love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency. Kpop boy group OnlyOneOf has signed up to star in this idol-based BL (based on a webtoon). They’ve been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV series in this post. It’s from Idol Romance who will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You).

9/26 I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan ????) - Adapted from the manga, childhood best friends: The cool, smart one who’s good at everything, and his average, dorky friend who struggles. Always by the other’s side, but not together in the way they truly want to be. No matter how hard they try, their hearts cannot reach each other.

9/27 Absolute Zero (Thai iQIYI) - from 2021, Studio Wabi Sabi and New Siwaj finally bring us this “time loop to prevent tragedy” romance. We don’t always get HEAs from them, so I'm on my guard.

9/? Venus in the Sky (Thai iQIYI) 10 eps

9/? Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam YouTube?)

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Hidden Agenda hitting us up with a hug + lap + kiss. Very nice.

I think these two might be GMMTV's best cuddlers.

Boys, I think your JoongDunk is showing.

(Last week) 

[nerdyenby]

One of my favorite things about the life series — aside from the everything — is how fluid the narrative is and how it’s primarily shaped by the fanbase. Because of this, you can maintain multiple contradicting theories with minimal concern about starting an argument or being proven wrong, it’s great

For example, I have two separate interpretations of Jimmy not being first out of Secret Life. I love them both to death and I don’t have to choose (at least for now)

1. the curse isn’t broken (lizzie)

This theory (introduced in this post) is essentially that Lizzie’s final death doesn’t break Jimmy’s curse. The canary’s curse is to be a warning of impending doom, to die to signal danger to miners within caves. Jimmy was still the first to die in the Overworld, the first funeral, the first lightning strike. Lizzie died in the End, a tragic accident that went unnoticed for seconds if not minutes. She died in the void like no player before. The End has not been in play in any prior season, and the Watchers are known to have a special relationship with it. Is it possible she escaped their notice? That her death was beyond their reach? Beyond the bounds of the game? Jimmy has always been the first to die, a warning to others that death is coming, but what meaning does the canary’s call — or lack of it — have to those beyond the coal mine?

2. the curse is broken (skizz)

I noted (in this post) when episode four first came out that Skizz said something unexpected, something with unusual confidence behind it. He called Jimmy a winner, commended his fighting spirit, and told him things would be different this time. He truly believed in Jimmy, and, possibly more importantly, got Jimmy to believe in himself. Fans have consistently interpreted Skizz’s character as angelic — as kind, honest, pure, good, steadfast, sacrificial, and selfless. Between his pattern with threes (being in every season except the third, having three deaths in the first episode of Limited Life, etc.) and the pattern known as “Skizz’s Blessing,” (where the winner of each season was there when he died) it’s easy to see why. His words historically have weight in the games, take “TIES makes top three” for example. Whether he predicts or dictates events as we know them, we don’t know, but it doesn’t seem to matter. When Skizz speaks there is truth we don’t see anywhere else. He is an omen of victory, all the sweeter in Jimmy’s case considering Skizz was the one to end his series — end anyone’s series — for the very first time.

(Note that I gotta go back and fact check the other patterns/curses I reference, these may be edited accordingly)

[cauldronoflove]

'Deed I Do

Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley

Rating: G

Word Count: 2.3k

Episode: immediately post-7x04, mentioned Buck/Tommy to that extent

ao3

||

Buck jogs up the front walk like there's a brush fire at his back, flame licking the soles of his sneakers and curling the stitches in the hunched shoulders of his hoodie. It's a tactical retreat; disengage, scout the land, regroup, head back in.

He hasn't let himself think since he grabbed his keys off the kitchen counter and started driving, and he doesn't want to ruin a good plan, so he just jiggles the bell until he hears movement on the other side of the door and rocks back on his heels once he does.

Maddie's voice, rounded in question, drops in and out, a quick uptick from Chim, all bowled over by a bright burst of Jee's chatter that hedges on-the-cusp of entirely understandable these days.

She's gotten so big. Not just height--even though he feels a little woozy with every quarter inch Maddie and Chim report--but personality, too. She knows so many words now, can pronounce most of them, is so inquisitive and funny without even realizing it. She's sort of his favorite person, just--watching her grow up is his favorite thing, the way she's indiscriminate about trying new foods but is adamant about her favorite books, the half-sprouted grin when she does something for herself, the way she bounces from interest to interest because she's got the Buckley combo attention span and need to experience as much as possible.

Jee's on Chim's hip when he opens the door so the moon of her face peeks out first, shifting from inquisition to squealing delight so fast his head spins. Reaching for him, she calls his name and makes little grabby hands that do a good job of summarizing the ferocious ache in his chest. It's not even a question of if he'll catch, the way she all but dives from Chim's grip, and Buck catches her underneath her armpits with a whuff of air at the unexpected weight. She throws her arms around his neck and squeezes as hard as she can.

Chim swings the door open a little wider and makes a gesture offering the foyer, his eyes darting up and down in quick reconnaissance. "You okay?" he asks, arching an eyebrow.

Buck doesn't think it's worth the pain to act like he doesn't know what it means. Chim and Hen have leveled him with that same look so often he started calling it the fess up, Buck look like two weeks into joining up with the 118. Bobby has it too, but it's less maniacal, more tender. Eddie's is sort of amused, the kind of look he shoots Chris's way when he makes an exasperated observation.

Buck shifts Jee further up his hip, tries to find the quietest part of his brain that'll register the solid weight of her, her foot shoved in the pocket of his hoodie, her tiny fingers tracing his birthmark, her unbroken stream of babble. "Uh, yeah, yeah. I was just--" He clears his throat, spitting some of her gravity-defying hair out of the way. "Is Maddie here?"

Chim's cheek puckers thoughtfully--I know, I know, Buck stops himself from saying, not trusting it won't all come out here and now--but he chucks his thumb over his shoulder at the kitchen. "Popcorn duty," he mouths, glancing to make sure Jee's still distracted. "You," he says pointedly, raising his voice to be heard over the buffer of their totally not haunted hallway. "Should go make sure she doesn't need any help." Both eyebrows go up then. "Right?"

"Right, yeah, right." He clears his throat again--he hasn't been able to get rid of the feeling of a stone pressing against his windpipe since. Right. "Uh, hey. Thanks, Chim."

"Any time, incumbent brother-in-law of mine," he says with a close-lipped smile. "Buckley Whisperer numero uno. Which I don't even have to be guess it's about time this little pumpkin rolled back to the patch, huh? You with me, Jee?"

She sighs heftily and pats Buck fondly on the cheek. In just the minute they've stood here her little eyes have begun to droop. "Love you, Bub," she mumbles, ducking to size up the drop to the floor.

He inhales shakily. "Yeah, I love you, too, Jee. Always, okay?" The second part is tangled in her hair where he presses a kiss to the crown of her head, lingering there as long as he thinks it'll take for Chim's concerned look to pass.

She allows him to settle her back on her feet and guide her hand into Chim's, casting one final glance up at him with a sleepy smile.

"C'mon, kid, let's blow this popsicle stand," Chim says, nudging her gently toward the hall that winds back toward the bedrooms. "Which is just a figure of speech, not just because of all the splinters, but because when you think about it it's a totally moronic business plan--"

Buck sighs a great gust in the entryway, sagging against the catch-all table. Adrenaline still strays just underneath the surface, longer stretches each time it rolls out until it stutters again.

"Buck?" he hears from just out of sight.

"Yeah, it's me." He trudges out of his shoes before heading into the kitchen. Rich with the scent of sweet butter and salt and edged in char because Maddie has always burned popcorn, microwave or stovetop. But Chim like it thay way, apparently. Someone for everyone, he'd joked once, grinning at her.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" she smiles, the corners of her eyes crinkling up, the hand not dropping M&Ms with hollow plinks into the big metal mixing bowl full of popcorn flapping around at him for a hug.

"I, uh..." he starts as her arm settles around his middle, but the feeling in his throat cascades and he chokes on it. This, this euphoria and wonder and guilt.

Her hand flattens between his shoulderblades, he doesn't even think she realizes she's doing it, splinting him. The gentle application of pressure to relieve the strain and alleviate some of the pain.

She used to do it when he was a kid, like really, really little and his hay fever would be off the charts. She'd soothe him back into regular breathing, hand on his back, a stream of platitudes that never felt empty when she made them. She knew the Wizard of Oz by heart and would recite it because the voice she did for the Cowardly Lion always made him laugh.

It's been twenty years since she's done it, probably, but he sways into it with relief, trying to ignore the ticking down inside his head about second nature and sense memory, about shit that gets buried all the way down and how eventually it all comes back up.

He sneaks a blue M&M, gritty with salt crystals, out of the bowl, and rolls it around in his mouth until the shell's gone and the rest of his mouth must look as bruised as the inside of his cheek is from biting it on the drive over.

"Do you remember the, like that summer when Nana broke her hip and, and Mom and Dad didn't want to take me with them to Harrisburg so you came home for two weeks?"

Sixty bucks of pizza money stuck to the fridge. 'You're thirteen now, Evan, you're not a baby, you don't need a babysitter.'

He watches her carefully out of the corner of his eye for any sign he's stepped too far back, brought up something she doesn't want in this house. Aside from the way just the corner of her mouth dips, she doesn't lose her stride.

"Yeah," she finally says on the inhale. She shakes her head slightly. "I haven't thought about that in years, what made you think of that?"

He snags two more candies, yellow and red, and slides them between his molars for balance as he retreats from her touch. Propping his elbows up on the counter, he fingers at an unspooling thread at the cuff of his sleeve, careful not to look at her so he won't lose his nerve. It feels like it's going to rip out of him, crack his jaw like the Jaws of Life and come tumbling out in hot, twisted metal indiscernible from human remains.

"What you said at the call center. About the Sarahs?" He's hedging, he knows that, but if he doesn't keep a foot on the break he's afraid he won't be able to stop the skid. "It just snagged something, I guess. You know that's the summer I had my first kiss? I don't, did I ever tell you that? It was, uh, it was really bad."

He can laugh about it now. Does, just a little. But the forgiveness can only cover so much and his muth dries with the short-sheeted breadth of it. "Lori Bowers bet me I couldn't climb to the top of the Vernon's big oak tree, and I got up okay, but my foot kind of...slipped, on the last branch on the way down. I was fine! I just had the wind knocked out of me. It hurt like hell, but Lori came over and told me how cool she thought it was that I'd done it, and that she didn't actually have the shiny Charizard she'd bet me, and then she kissed me and ran off. But she, uh, she had these braces--" He bares his teeth, gesturing with the L bracket of his thumb and index finger. "--and it was a weird angle and she cut my lip. So I was, I was on the ground, still, and my lip was bleeding, and my head hurt, and I was just like--wow, you know? Like that's it. And I was totally convinced kissing sucked until I took Bridget Thomspon to junior prom."

"Buck..." she says, in that gentle way of hers that makes him feel like he's six and sixteen and twenty all over again. The voice that makes him think of antiseptic and Superman Band-Aids and Stouffer's lasagna.

"Which is funny, right, because I-I'm that guy. Or I was thay guy. I've been that guy. Who just--like whoever. I mean, I wanted to, but it took time, to be good at it, but it got good and--" The words keep coming, rucking up around his shoulders, cramping the back of his neck, pressing against his chin like the pad of a thumb that's calloused and disproportionately gentle.

"Buck," she repeats, reaching out for his shoulder. "What's going on?"

"I sort of, I kissed somebody. Um, like, a few hours ago, I guess. And it was good, on the first try. It was really, I didn't even...."

Shit, he thinks, heat crawling up his throat. Attraction and embarassment and a grating twinge like bone on bone.

He can feel her frown, but her hand still hangs between them. He's spinning out so quickly and she's still reaching out for him.

"Okay, I don't think I'm following. You said you and Natalia broke up a while ago, right? So what's the problem?"

"Yeah, no, of course. It's fine. Like, I'm not, it's not a cheating thing or anything. Free and clear. But there's, I think it might be...more complicated than that."

"Okay," she rolls out, a diffusing half-smile twitching at her mouth. "Buck, you have to give me something. Unless you want to play 20 questions? I might be a little rusty. Is it someone from a scene?"

"It was Tommy," he blurts, and it's too loud to his own ears, fighting to be heard over the blood pulsing in his head and the thrill shooting up his chest like acid.

"Tommy?"

He'd chucked his hoodie on over the shirt he'd been wearing when it happened and it's like he can still feel the imprint of heat that had pushed between them. He taps the side of his fist against his chest, digging the fabric of his shirt against his skin in an unconscious repetition. "Yeah," he murmurs, ducking his head in a sudden rush of bashfulness.

"Kinard?"

"Don't know any others."

"But I thought that you--" He can actually hear her teeth click when she jerks to a halt and it sends his shoulders cringing up to his ears.

"Maddie?" he prods quietly, not wanting to but catching her eye so he can try to disassemble whatever she's thinking and offer it back to her better, neater. "I-I, uh, it doesn't, I don't even know, you know, what it. What it meant."

"Evan," and her hand settles firmly against his elbow. Whatever she was going to say slips away, her care too insistent. "I'm not upset. It's just...Tommy?" A laugh shocks out of her and her eyebrows draw together as she tries to force it back in. "I thought he was your arch-nemesis," she gets out from behind her hand, but that's all before she dissolves into a hiccupping laughter against his shoulder that unspools at least half the threads gone tight in him.

He goes boneless, practically, sinking onto his forearms, silent laughter shaking his shoulders, a helpless grin rooted firmly in place. "Uh, yeah, me too, but I guess--" His nose crinkles. "Maybe not?"

"Maybe?" she repeats, knuckling at the tears slipping from the corners of her eyes.

"Definitely not. Or at least--I mean, we apologized, to each other, and then we, and then, uh, he sorta...asked me out. On a date. So...probably not, right?"

"Mm, it depends, I think," she jokes, pressing their shoulders together. She has to tip her head back even at this angle, but her eyes are smiling, and there's a familiar tilt to her tone. "Did you say yes?"

"Yeah," he says and he can't keep the stupid grin off his face. "Uh, yeah, I did."

"Then probably not," she agrees.

He chuckles to himself, bumping his shoulder off hers. Asking, yeah? with a shake of his head.

[jest-a-genetta]

What has been your favorite episode of The Edge of Sleep? I think mine was either episode five or episode six.

That's a really hard question, both because I really liked parts of all of them, and because I watched it all in one go and kinda forgot where each episode starts/ends 😅 Probably 2 or 5 if I had to pick.

Some spoilers below, I'm gonna elaborate a bit

2 was just a solid intro to all the characters, and I appreciated Dave just sprinting like 3 miles just for Katie to attack him when he broke in. And the radio station was a nice addition that wasn't in the podcast. I did like that part.

And then all of 5. The plane trip, the hallucinations. Loved the editing choices there. I did appreciate Mateo not dying, that was a pleasant surprise.

3/4 were probably my least favorites, not because they were bad, just cause the Elephant actually freaks me out a bit. But again, some really cool filming choices in there. I don't speak movie nerd, but I still really liked whatever they were doing with the style here XD

6 was good, but I did get very lost and confused. Tho I'm fairly certain that was the point, so I can't really count it against them. They certainly acheived that.

I've seen some people saying the show starts slow, or the pilot wasn't really compelling or whatever, but I actually really liked ep 1. Maybe I'm biased, having heard the podcast before, but I did really like it. 5 minutes in I was yelling "WAIT IT'S DIFFERENT? I'm not emotionally prepared for the unexpected, oH NO" But Mateo being totally down to throw hands for Dave was great, and "the first chick who's into weird half-asian dudes with a sensual voice" will live in my head rent free for weeks". And I appreciated Linda having a good moment to just scream when her friend died. I mean, that was a very reasonable reaction to the whole situation. I'm glad we got to see one of the characters just lose it for a second, cause same honestly. Huh, maybe 1 was a favorite too XD

[themotherofhorses]

I loved your writing, and I had always thought you were a talented writer. Your handmaid series was one of my favorite Aemond series on this site. But I will not lie, I’m a bit disappointed at how easily you seem to abandon your work and followers. So many people have been anxiously awaiting the next part, which you constantly teased, only to receive a lousy “Sorry, I’m not in the right mindset” explanation for your sudden absence? Yikes. That feels like a slap in the face to your followers.

hi anon!

okay so i debated whether to answer this, and i mean i thought about it for HOURS. like pacing-in-the-kitchen + chewing on my nails + having a lil tummy ache.

yeah, maybe that “i’m not in the right mindset” explanation wasn’t the best, and at this point, i rlly don’t have anything left to lose so here is the raw and ugly truth:

(tw// mentions of depression, suicidal thoughts, and an eating disorder below.)

if you didn’t know, i was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa in the fall of 2020, along with depression and anxiety. i’ve been in recovery since then.

however, these past several weeks, i unfortunately relapsed back into my ed, and i began experiencing my heavy depression episodes. i’ve had a talk with my family, and i’ve been trying to regain my focus and strength, but its been so fucking difficult as hell.

that is why i haven’t been writing. it is so incredibly hard to find the motivation to write when you just wanna …. yknow …. die? or not exactly die but more curl up in a ball and cry your eyes out until there is nothing left inside you. fanfic writing became a strong and favorite coping mechanism of mine, and it has been so heartbreaking to feel that passion/motivation slowly die away. that is the main reason why i have decided to take a step back from writing and posting and being active on this blog.

i love my fanfics and i love all my readers. y’all have been an unexpected but greatly appreciated light in my life. y’all have genuinely given me a reason for living, as silly as that might sound.

so pls pls PLS (with a cherry on top) believe me when i say that i never mean to abandon y’all. i’m still here! i’m just trying to find myself again — and when i do, i’ll return to give y’all the best smutty fics i can whip up hehe.

to end things on a positive note, here is a picture of my sadie <33 she’s helping in keeping her momma afloat in these shitty waters.

[snailfen]

i looove cabby so so much i've really comw around to her... she's just like meeeee shesan awkward gal who has to write things down meticulously to remember things she's so cool. i love her. also very happy to see her stay and YEAH BLUEBERRY SURPRISED ME SO MUCH??? HE JUST GOT TO BE UNHINGED THIS EPISODE I GUESS...!!! it was so funny how he just snapped ...

yinyang leaving was super sad because they're a favorite of mine but honestly something in my heart knew they wouldn't make it. and personally i really wanted test tube back but i might just be biased. i was still really really happy to see her and bot hang out because i love them both so so much... mephone being nice to them was so so awesome as well. it really is cool seeing him be so happy for them especially considering his history on the subject like waaahhh wah wah 😭

CLOVER J7MPSCARE WAS SO UNEXPECTED BUT SO COOL SHE JUST DROPPED IN TO SLAP SOME SENSE INTO NICKEL AND THEN DIPPED IT WAS SO FUNNYY AND ALSO I LOVE HER HEART EMOJI

ok so i realized most of this response is jusf exactly what you said so i drewthis for you really quick on my dumblittle phone because i'm not at my puter. someday i'll draw them properly. hi i think your art is super cool and you're also just a super cool person in general <3 hope you're doing well

OH MY GOD AWWWWWWWW!!! YOU DRAW THEM SO WELL THEYRE SO CUUUUTE <:)

Also its ok i love having little back and forths like this gamer!!! also yeah clover totally did just hop in just to make nickel reevaluate his life choices and then left. hot girl shit

[davros42]

Rewatching Classic Doctor Who, some episodes I haven't seen in years, some of the animated reconstructions I haven't seen at all.

The Dalek Invasion of Earth AKA Daleks Threaten Earth AKA The Invaders AKA The Daleks (II) AKA The Return of the Daleks AKA The Daleks in Europe AKA Serial K

In February, 1964 Dalekmania hit Britain. The Daleks was immediately popular, spiking ratings and drawing big attention to this new show, Doctor Who. The donation of two of the original Dalek props to a children's charity drew attention and interest in the Daleks remained high. In March a sequel story was commissioned from Terry Nation for the second season, based on the strength of both The Daleks and The Keys of Marinus.

And what a sequel it was! It made use of extensive location shoots, the sight of Daleks chasing the TARDIS crew around London were instantly iconic. It also features the first quarry shoot for the show and probably one of the few times a quarry appears as an actual Earth quarry in Doctor Who history. The original 4 Dalek models were joined by 2 new ones, to flesh out the ranks of the invading army, which led to some impressively complex shoots in and around the Dalek saucer. During one of these complex shoots, William Hartnell was injured and had to sit out for an episode. The less said about the slyther, however, the better. And despite the best efforts of the crew to step up their games, some of the sets feature some obvious backdrops.

The story opens with an fantastic hook, a man with some kind of strange apparatus on his head, lurches about, tearing the mechanical apparatus off his head, and throws himself into the river. The TARDIS arrives and everyone is excited to have apparently returned to Earth. They very quickly realize, however, something is amiss. Susan injures herself and the TARDIS is blocked by rubble, the party separates once again displaying absolutely no degree of genre savvy. Barbara and Susan are discovered and "rescued" by some human resistance fighters. The Doctor and Ian come face-to-face with the unexpected... a Dalek, rising from the Thames. It's quite a cliffhanger!

It turns out that the Daleks have bombarded Earth with meteorites, infected them with a plague, and then invaded. Some of the survivors were enslaved, others were turned into Robomen: cyborg servants of the Daleks who eventually go mad and kill themselves. The Doctor immediately starts sassing the Daleks, who do not realize they have made a grave mistake in invading the Doctor's favorite planet. The Daleks don't recognize the Doctor (or Ian). The Doctor assumes that their previous adventure with the Daleks is "millions" of years in the future, which seems like the Doctor making stuff up again. The Daleks are running a mining operation for reasons unknown and the Doctor and Ian are taken aboard a Dalek saucer and come face to face with the Black Dalek, first seen in the Dalek comics. Of course, he's not entirely black yet, he needs another episode or two to finish his paint job.

The human resistance attacks. The Doctor escapes, Ian stays behind, Barbara is hurt and separated from Susan who escapes with David, a member of the resistance. Upon recovery Barbara goes off with Jenny, another member of the resistance, to find bomb making materials and killing a Dalek by running it over with a truck. Amongst Barbara's many talents, she apparently has her CDL (or whatever the UK equivalent is). One wheelchair bound member of the resistance shows some limited ability to move without his mobility device, which, to judge from recent critique, some people think is the most unbelievable thing to ever happen in Doctor Who. The Doctor meets up with Susan and David, third wheel on their extended date. Ian and another escapee make their way toward the Dalek's mining operation, meeting Mr. Rumbold from Are You Being Served? along the way (Nicholas Smith in his first speaking role).

Barbara and Jenny get sold out to the Daleks by two old women and are taken to the mine. After a series of adventures and romantic moments: The Doctor, Susan, and David also arrive at the mine. It turns out the Daleks are going to mine out the core of the Earth replace it with an engine so that they can pilot the planet as they choose, like some kind of Death Star. Which is either the dumbest thing I've ever heard or the most brilliant, I'm not sure. The Daleks are in the process of dropping a bomb down into the Earth's core when The Doctor and Barbara force the Robomen to turn on the Daleks through the power of impressions and everyone escapes, except the Daleks who are caught in the explosion. The Earth's core survives intact, but England gets a new active volcano.

The TARDIS is freed from debris and while Susan is busy debating leaving David, the Doctor makes her mind up for her, leaving her behind (with only one shoe?) to help rebuild the Earth, becoming the first companion to leave. Or be left anyway. Jenny was originally meant to become the new companion at this point but there were issues behind the scenes that prevented the character from being more than a one-shot. Personally I rather like Jenny, she would have made a much more interesting companion than Vicki.

It's a wonderful serial, using it's six episodes to the fullest and throwing almost everything into the mix to craft an impressive story, even alligators in the sewers. It feels more like Doctor Who than anything we've seen thus far. The Doctor taking a keen interest in upsetting the Daleks' plans and the crew firmly in the protagonist roles. William Hartnell gets at least three all-time classic lines including the famous speech at the end. It is a little convoluted, maybe, but almost everything is in service to the plot. There actually is a fair amount of effort put in to justifying David and Susan's relationship, more so than I remembered. They're actually kind of cute together? While it establishes the terrible "marrying off the companion to a guy she just met" standard exit, it is handled better here than in most other stories. Despite some cheap set backdrops (and the horrible slyther costume), there's some great camerawork and much more complex staging and scenes than we've seen previously. The Dalek Invasion of Earth spiked the Daleks' popularity even further leading to an avalanche of merchandising, comics, live appearances, and two feature films. And another sequel story, cementing the Daleks as the Doctor's only recurring nemesis in these early days. It also assured the popularity of the show, scoring high ratings.

Next up, The Rescue. The Doctor gets a new "granddaughter". For the first time, but not the last time.

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

My weekly roundup CW 19

I try to write down my thoughts after watching stuff to create a little weekly ranking in relation to the previous week on my, most of the times, quiet sundays (and because I love lists!). These are just my personal opinions and preferences.

And yes, this will contain spoilers!

But first, the main theme for the first date this week:

Happy Merry Ending

Love Mate

→ 1. Love Mate (Ep 3+4)

Most unexpected moment this week:

Ahhhh!!!!! I love it!!!!! Sunshine guy is slowly but surely making his way into grumpy guys heart and I am absolutely here for it. And then grumpy guy also falls for the polar bear profile and of course he thinks he's great and has a strangely good feeling from the writing and of course they meet and of course grumpy guy is not thrilled. The slap in the face was maybe a little over the top but in the end everything that follows is absolutely perfect. A first date, laughter and fun and at the end a romantic scene? I don't think any of us expected that! I was shocked! And had absolutely nothing against it! The morning after…I really thought at first that sunshine guy was going to sneak out because he now got what he wanted! Luckily that wasn't the case and they are now going on their next date. It doesn't necessarily have to come down to a lot of drama breaking out. Maybe the two of them can just go about their lives together. Come on! I don't want to see them apart! They should stay happy! Let's just see how grumpy guy gets to the 100%.

The softest moment this week:

→ 2. My Story (Ep 5)

What exactly is this project where they have to drink alcohol in large amounts? I mean plotwise it fits just fine, but what? Drinking alcohol for school? Um…I have questions. And also, Sky didn't look that drunk now…Stupid excuse of not being able to remember anything…again, not…I'd like an change of ideas here. Otherwise Zeke and Fifth…the two can't stop flirting with each other and in the end it all culminates in an explosive kiss that has been building up over the last few episodes and was finally allowed to break out. It was worth the wait! These two are just outrageously good together. Yes, I can't take the other two seriously anymore. But good for me, so the drama stays with them and Zeke and Fifth can float around on their cloud 9. I'm not mad about that.

↑ 3. Happy Merry Ending (Ep 5+6)

Cutest moment this week part 1:

Oh God, that was beautiful! A first date, a first kiss. And JaeHyun understood SeungJun. He didn't just jump him and kiss him, he asked for his consent and I love him for that! I love the show for that! And what a fucking romantic moment? I was ecstatic! And how happy SeungJun looked. The hand holding was my favorite scene. JaeHyun was so nervous beforehand! I love it so much! And all just for SeungJun to be thrown back into his trauma by that stupid fucker in the next episode. And I'm scared that JaHyun's "he's mine now, I won't let him go" might possibly trigger SeungJun's trauma as well. I hope not, but I'm scared of that scene in the trailer. However, since it will be the last two episodes next week, of course I hope for a happy ending! So I'll accept some angst if it still leads to SeungJun taking off his sunglasses at the end and only looking at JaeHyun.

Cutes moment this week part 2:

↑ 4. La Pluie (Ep 3)

I found the episode so interesting and good. We see in this episode the side of Patt and his love at first sight moment. So Patt likes Tai. Patt has a girlfriend or had a thing with someone we don't know, yet. Patt has a crush on Tai now though. Patt doesn't know that Tai is his soulmate. So Patt tries to win Tai over without this knowledge. Tai, on the other hand, thinks that Patt has a girlfriend, because he heard him making out with someone, and is therefor making a pass at him, so he keeps his distance from Patt. Which doesn't stop Patt from trying to get close to him. And both like each other in the end. I like it. I had my doubts about Tai's infatuation at first, but it works quite well. It's cute how shy he gets in front of Patt. Why he bit him in the arm at the end, though, I don't quite understand. Was that frustration or pure alcohol talking out of him? Anyway! I look forward to the next episode!

↓ 5. Our Dining Table (Ep 6)

Yutaka and Minoru were able to enjoy a few minutes of privacy. Finally. It was about time. I don't think we'll see a kiss in the series, but at least a little intimacy and closeness between the two. Minoru was so worried about Yutaka and came running to him and then makes him the udon noodles like his mother used to do when the kids were sick. Honestly, what other proof of affection do you need? Minoru shares such a precious and beautiful memory with Yutaka, wants him to have something of his memory, and Yutaka is so grateful for it and happy about it. So wholesome.

↑ 6. Naked Dining (Ep 5)

So by now they should have realized that they like each other, right? As jumpy as they react when they stand close to each other. But I think Futa still needs some time to understand it properly. A first step in the right direction was made when he wanted to touch Mahori when he was asleep. Dare to let it happen. The almost-kiss at the end, which Futa also dreams of, I don't find soooo good, because I don't think kisses, when the persons are not in a relationship and while one person is asleep, are so thrilling in general. But we'll see next week how they'll work it out. Other than that, it was a pretty enjoyable episode. The two of them had fun together. Even the co-worker could see that. Let's hope she keeps her friendly distance.

↑ 7. The Promise (Ep 9)

Best reaction to a kiss this week:

They did what? A kiss? Phu finally got up the courage and confessed his feelings for Nan? I confess I squealed a little with delight and then hid behind a pillow in shame because, hello? Why did everyone have to applaud? Best reaction of the week though from Party and Khunkhao! I would have reacted the same way, but wouldn't be as damn pushy as Khunkhao at the end and would just keep my mouth shut when I see that the person I'm into has found someone he likes and is willing to kiss in public…And then not even a minute later, Phu's grandma is dead. What the hell, The Promise? And then Nan gets the info that he's going to be transferred to China…This was really way too much drama in one episode. Couldn't one of them have happened an episode earlier? And that Phu keeps saying he has no one now…he has Nan! Let's see how they resolve all this at the end.

↓ 8. Step by Step (Ep 4)

This week's outstanding fashion choice: The Bow ties

Why exactly is Pat trying to talk trash about Jeng with his colleagues who talk trash about everything and everyone? Why is Pat starting rumors like this? Whatever Jeng does in private is his beer and not of Pat's interest to bitch about. And he was actually against talking about him like that or not, since he knows how it feels when false rumors are spread. At least he should know that. Yes, he tries to get along with his colleagues, but that's a really shitty way to go. Otherwise, I would have been interested to know why Jeng and Pat were in the Tuxedos and what exactly they were doing. That was such a random scene at the end that wasn't explained further and then you didn't even see them at the event…were they laughed at for their giant bow ties and no one could take them serious and they thought, then we better cut the scenes out altogether? Other than that, I love the way Jeng looks at Pat. And I sincerely hope their communication improves! It's terrible…

↑ 9. Our Skyy 2 - Vice Versa (Ep7+8)

So the idea with the calendar I found really good. Many more people should do this to bring some life back into the relationship and also to simply do something good for themselves. It does not have to be something different every day, but once a week to break out of everyday life and get closer to each other again. I think it's really good and sweet. The child…what kind of crappy plan was that? To send a stranger's kid to a couple so they can work out their problems. I've rarely heard anything so stupid. All in all, the episodes were more bearable than the previous ones because the corniness was less, but the idea behind it was still stupid. And the preview for next week scared me 😅

↓ 10. A Boss And A Babe (Ep 11)

The cheesiest but still sweetest line this week:

That was unnecessary. Even though Cher thinks he understands that he is not good enough for Gun, I found it unnecessary. It's not Gun's mother's decision to decide what is right for Gun and what is not, even if they have money. While it's nice that Cher graduated with trophies, at the end of the day I would very much like to erase that scene from my memory. My embarrassment level was definitely reached and I had trouble watching. It was a bit too much. Also, the scene came so suddenly. All of a sudden Cher is standing in front of the door and gets down on his knee in front of Gun. I mean, no…I don't know, this week it was really exhausting to watch. You knew from the beginning that something was going to happen, the way Cher always looked at Gun, with that sad, wistful look. So it wasn't unexpected that Cher would leave Gun. It was unexpected that Gun didn't try to stop him anymore or just visit him at home. But at least the last episode now looks like pure fluff.

↓ 11. House of Stars (Ep 2)

I don't know exactly what happened this week. First, it's Saturday and I have no idea what I saw and second, it was boring. There's so much talk about nothing that my brain said let's filter that out real quick. Unnecessary waste of space. Guess this will be the next series I'll drop or at least put on-hold.

[acetonitril]

20 questions for fic writers

Between bouts of scientific sexting, IKEA shopping, and emigration counselling, @urmomsonfire tagged me to do this. Thank you! And let's go.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

22

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

68,121 with special mention to the fact that I wrote 47,952 of them this year, the rest in the last five

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Top Gun, mostly Tatort before that

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

all in bad taste

the sight of you leaves me weak

(toi et moi) dans la nuit on trouvera

And Everything Is You

chat with you, baby (flirt a little maybe)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always! One reason being that I think everyone who takes the time to leave a comment at least deserves a thank you. But I also just love the interaction with people in the comment section. I love how people can write entire essays down there and are willing to discuss it all with you and want to hear extra info and thoughts on your fics. I'm doing all this for the interaction, I think.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Nichts unversucht gelassen Dich zu hassen which no, will never have a second part thank you very much

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I don't quite know how to quantify happiness but dare I say big boy, come on 'round? It's the fic with the latest stage in a relationship and basically shows that you can still be happy and sappy even after years of marriage and it's about the changes you experience and accept as you grow old together, which qualifies as happy ending I think.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I can't remember that I ever have.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Me? Smut? Noooo. (The gay kind. The somnophilia kind.)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't actually written any crossovers and I'm personally not a huge fan of them but there was a time when I was determined to write a Star Trek TOS/Tanz der Vampire crossover. It never worked out because I didn't find the time to do it due to unexpected changes in my life.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I translated one of my fics once but I wouldn't count that. The translation was part of the process and is also really bad.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

throwing A Look in Someone's direction No. I have not.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

If I had to pick one ship for the rest of time than probably Spirk. Maybe Victorian bachelors Holmes and Watson because they're hilariously codependent.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don't know of that counts but I probably won't ever finish the Nachspiele series (if you care). I'm like 40 episodes behind and don't think I'll ever get back into it enough for me to care.

I also have a Hangster WIP which basically had the concept of telling their story through the years, including their first time and epic breakup and getting back together, through songs Bradley plays to Jake on a bar piano. But there were details I couldn't quite figure out so I abandoned it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at visualising stuff for myself. I don't know if that translates to my writing/characterisations though. Also overthinking.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

First lines, last lines (or endings in general, knowing when to stop), titles. Plot. Not getting distracted but that's a general problem of mine.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

As in "incorporating dialogues with lines of another language into a fic"? I don't mind it when it's well done and adds to the story but I can't see myself doing it (maybe for the train fic).

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I'm going to take the very easy out here and say Tatort.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This might surprise some of you but toi et moi! If, and I say IF, the cave fic turns out the way I want it to, that might be a strong contender, too, but it's also just really self indulgent, so.

No idea who has been tagged already but tagging uh @theinsouciantknitter, @perishablealex, @wordsonamission

[thegeminisage]

Civil Defense might be my all time favorite Star Trek episode, not that it's the best in any particular area, but the combination of sci-fi shenanigans, some minor social commentary, compelling characters, and fun ship moments (Julian smiling about "you, garak" plsssss) is just PEAK trek to me. Plus "attention bajoran workers" lives in my head rent free

it was soooo good like it was FUNNY but also horrific it was the metaphorical empty field full of land mines like you never get to forget there was a war but also some of the warlords are cringefail losers who can't even impress this tiny bajoran woman because she is so full of rage. unexpected and fun entrances but gul dukat and garak. gul dukat casually ordering tea and the lasers pausing and then resuming. garak telling him he ain't shit and kira is never gonna fuck him. KIRA HAS A GUN AND SHE IS NOT AFRAID TO USE IT. big spock with the sniper rifle energy. garak altering julian's pants (i hope it was the inseam). SO good.

[wickedmoonlite]

KinnPorsche Rewatch 2023

Reminder: as we go into heavier topics in KP (dub-con/non-con, toxic behaviors, etc.), I will not be doing deep dives. I’m planning on taking this just below surface value as these are literally thoughts I have in the moment as I’m watching. Thank you.

Episode 10 Random Thoughts

So much in this episode relating to trust. It's gonna be good. But also bad. I enjoy this one.

Ah, Porsche... I know you want to get to the bottom of all this, but I don't know if trusting Vegas is the way to do it lol

I do like how, fairly consistently, the actors keep their fingers off the trigger of their guns. That's the way you're supposed to do it, put it up above, flat against the gun itself. Thank you, actors.

Hmm... KimChay cuddle scene. I have many thoughts about this one... First off, I love that Kim went from "lemme kiss Chay on the cheek, but that's it" to full on cuddling. This man doesn't know how to emote properly, or let himself have emotions about things sometimes. He has problems with intimacy and relationships (platonic, romantic, familial, what have you) as we see in this scene when he breaks Chay's heart (and mine, fuck) by saying "I'm hungry" after Chay has bared his soul to the guy and asked for love in return (Which don't get me wrong, it's sooo fast for Chay to be saying the L-word [-lesbian? -no, scott. -lesbianS?] but he's used to people leaving him, or not being able to stick around so like... he wants Kim to stick around. Plus he's a teenager still. Things are fleeting when you're a teenager. I fucking get it.)

Continuing on a bit of a tangent from the point above: the micro-expressions that Jeff conveys here looks like a mixture of oh god what have I gotten myself into and this boy is breaking my heart I actually like him so much but I hate that I like him. And the look he gives Chay when he asks "Do you love me?" ... I can see behind those eyes he's screaming yeeeees, I fucking do, but I can't bring myself to say it. jUST CONFRONT YOUR EMOTIONS, KIM, YOU DUMBASS, I SWEAR TO GOD.

How was he planning on just secretly leaving though?? There's like one way out of the house, and it's the way Chay just went, bro.

Kim to the rescue is my favoriiiiiiiiiiiiiiite the kick is so good, the fighting is so good, ughhhh.

The fact that this man takes two stun gun hits before he goes down is so impressive though.

I don't like Tawan reaching in over Arm to get to the computer.

Secret Pete goes in secretly this time.

Yeah, but Vegas, you aren't innocent. aND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE PORCHAY IS. Fuck.

I think anyone would be hurting after that fight, honestly. And I actually really like how Kim calls Kinn first to get answers.

Ope, found the kinky room. But that's the room you need, Pete.

Wow. What everyone around Kinn was saying would happen, happened. What an unexpected conclusion to the Tawan in the mafia house saga.

"You think I'm here alone?" He says to the person who was a lackey for the person who set this all up, which is the person you brought with you. Confused? You won't be after today's episode *SOAP theme song*

And the mole has been revealed. Ah, Ken. We liked you a decent amount.

"But this wasn't the fucking plan." What was the plan though?????

Oh Tawan, poor, silly Tawan. Vegas doesn't want you. This is part of the reason I do actually feel bad for him in a way. He was used so viciously by Vegas. Then gets shot in return.... Again.

Kim and Big to the rescue ❤💔

Oh Big, we appreciate you and will miss you.

A 30 second timer? So Short.

And Kinn smokes now, when Porsche said he was going to quit and everything. I don't blame any of these guys, this shit is stressful.

Chay is so rightfully upset at Porsche for putting him in danger. Porsche was trying so hard to keep Chay in the dark, but it caught up to him anyway. Just let him have space, he's allowed to be pissed the fuck off.

Well yeah, but Vegas is going to a secret house soon. With our favorite smiley guy in tow.

I don't think I'd enjoy having my bits electrocuted, either. But Pete looks so ready to face it head on. He said, fuck it, I shall smile anyway.

Bye, Ken.

Tankhun speaking the truth that Gun so desperately wants to keep hidden. I think Korn saw through that, just like his oldest son. Once again, best instincts of all the brothers.

"If you think that the minor family is the traitors you can take my life." Oh Gun, playing with fire, you are.

Porsche deserves all the apologies, Kinn.

Episode 11 next! Thank you for reading!

And here I said I wasn't going to deep dive... I won't deep dive to the bottom of the ocean, but the deep end of a pool is another story I suppose lmao.

I'm talking about myself. I lied to myself.

[seancamerons]

hi !! sorry i haven't replied to your asks yet, i promise i still will <3 but i see you post about degrassi a lot and i started watching that show at some point but i just can't find the motivation to get back into it (i only watched like 4 episodes, my other problem is that i'm not sure exactly what episode i was on, so i don't know if i should just start again or what to do... so (if you want to), can you tell me what some reasons are to continue watching? like what do you like about the show etc. :)

ah no worries! the first season is a hit or a miss. i love it, takes me back but not everyone shares that love. it picks up in the second-fourth seasons all strong in different ways.

(under the cut)

season 2 is similar 2 season 1 but more beefy in the storyline dept. i hope you pick it back up but if you don't it's not for everyone. i hope i didn't spoil you too much with things, but the show aired in the 2000s. i know i was upset when something from dawsons creek got spoiled for me, that show predates degrassitng by over 5 years and ended in 2003. i just remained so far from that spoiler so long for it to happen unexpected to a favorite of mine, jen. i also dislike dawson i still haven't finished! i didn't even get to that storyline yet and i'm dreading and savoring the time i have left with that character. the show has dated with time, like the earlier seasons of degrassi but they're comforting. no biggie.

what i like about degrassi was tha tit was the first show that had kids my age at the time arguing, existing, living their lives, relatable. and what keeps me watching is mostly comfort, i like the characters, it's still funny sometimes and some storylines can be sad but beautifully written. it sets them apart from other teen dramas at the time, the careful consideration of development in the friendships and relationships. family, friends, found families and epic romances are the norm. my favorite characters and power couples i still love and set the tone for the stuff i like in terms of shows. sean is a lot like the oc's ryan, emma isn't the damsel but she is a strong female protag and fits with sean (best) in my opinion. strongest relationship is between these two, they're off and on and mostly on. they both had other relationships sellie is arguably (ellie) his second most talked about relationship. he does leave briefly after tragedy (vague) and returns again, he does leave once more but this time for good. he makes one last appearance before completely leaving the series for a new life without giving too much away.

i say maybe suggesting to skipping season 1 and starting with 2.

i got into degrassi a little late, like most shows but i found a rerun and that was my first episode from the first season toward the end of that season, called wannabe. i loved the interaction between the girls and i found myself rooting for these girls i didn't even know. they don't look dawsons casting they look about 12, 13 at most, but i had similar conversations like this with friends and i found it highly relatable tehr will always be that mean girl like paige, patronizing the young impressional grade 7's in emma manny and their friends who are younger and such. season 2 is a little more intensive in drama but i think you'll like that. it feels a lot more real, the premier for 2 is really good, there's violence but there's a great storyline going on there. maybe if you start there you can backtrack 1 later and see it through. 3 is a fan favorite, four is particularly dark and strong major storyline arc going on there based on 3, and so on. you'll love it as it goes on and it's worth noting that the oc started around the time of season 3 airing of degrassi. so there's fashion and technology differences, emphasis on music and familiar faces and vibes.

degrassi is long its time consuming and there's filler or bad episodes here and there, there's a few snoozy seasons namely end of 7 until 10 and it picks up. season 13 and 14 aren't as strong, but netflix's continuation next class picks up with those guys and so on and so forth. i feel like a tour guide rn.

but when you have time, give it a chance from another season closer to the beginning when things are more established and if you still don't like it, at least you gave it a try/chance.

i didn't get hooked until mid season 2 when all was said and done. season 2 is so special to me, and might be my favorite out of all the seasons, season 4 too but beyond that there's some good ones here and there and bad ones and a mixture. not everyone is gonna have the same love for it but i love hearing that you're mildly interested in it.

💌 thanks for messaging me.