#this edit took 20 minutes btw

[strawberryshortcake1495]

Miserable Mabel Redesign!!! (+ a Dipper design lol)

“You’re not so bad yourself, Worm.”

[excessive-moisture]

unseen lands kazoo cover

[kiibichio]

SAY IT ✩ C. STURNIOLO

OVERVIEW ;; last time you and your boyfriend, chris, had sex, his brothers heard you, you two played it off and managed not to get caught. but ever since, you’ve been insecure about your volume.. so you try to hide your noises, but chris fixes that.

CONTAINS ;; dom ! chris, sub ! reader, no use of y/n, begging kink (?), hella praise

mora speaks ;; so i was listening to say it by tory lanez and i thought abt this fic . then it left my mind 😭 THEN i saw an EDIT OF CHRIS to the song and i knew i just had to get this done. SO HERE WE AREE !! ENJOY 🙏🏾 (btw we jump straight into the story so buckle up)

date published ;; 3.20.24

not proofread

——————————————————————————————

4:11 pm

chris slams his lips onto mine while grabbing my hips and positioning me so im straddling him.

“god, baby..” he mumbles onto my mouth, “ive been waiting to do this since you got here..”

i came over to my boyfriend, chris’, house to visit my him and my friends (nick and matt). although they left about 20 minutes after i got here. claiming they were ‘getting food’ but they would probably be a while considering they never come straight back home. chris immediately took his chance and dragged me downstairs to his room eagerly. as soon as he got in he began taking his hoodie off and throwing on the floor, followed by mine. which brings us here.

after a good 5 minutes of making out, chris stops. he realizes he hadn’t gotten a sound out of me at all, which is odd because im usually the most vocal out of us two. this whole time it’s been ‘so good baby’ and ‘i missed you so much’ combined with small whimpers and quiet groans from chris. but none from me.

“hey, you’re real quiet. something wrong, ma? is it me?” he genuinely looks at me.

i sigh. there was something wrong.

“no, no! chris, baby, you did nothing wrong. you’re doing great. it’s just..”

“you can tell me. im here to listen and i won’t judge.” chris reassures me as he rubs my shoulder

“well.. it’s just- ever since that one time last week. you know, when matt and nick heard us?”

he nods, making eye contact with me.

“ive been thinking im too loud and extra… so im trying to change that. i don’t want to be an inconvenience to everyone else.”

which was true because who wants to hear me and chris fuck everytime we do. that’s also embarrassing to deal with. getting weird looks from your friends because of something that you’re were supposed to keep private, but couldn’t because of your volume? crazy.

he stares at me for a moment. did i say something wrong? then he chuckles.

“hey! what are you laughing for? i thought you said you wouldn’t judge.” i huff, pouting my lips and crossing my arms.

he throws his head back and continues to laugh, “baby.. are you serious? matt and nick aren’t even here right now.”

i look away from him, arms still crossed.

“hey. look at me, ma.” chris grabs hold of my chin and moves it, forcing me to make direct eye contact with him, “i do not care if my brothers hear us. i swear. i want everyone to know that you’re mine and im yours. i need to hear you say it. make all the noise you want, baby.”

“are you sure, chris?” i ask hesitantly

“100% positive”

he doesn’t let me respond again and immediately starts kissing me. he moves his hands up and down my body slowly, his left hand going to my ass and the right one moving to unclasps my bra under my shirt. he breaks away and his mouth travels towards my neck and chest area.

“mmh.. chris..” i whine.

“there’s my girl, keep those same pretty noises up for me while im inside of you.” he smirks against my collarbone.

he flips us over as to where im laying down on my back and he’s hovering over me. he starts moving his face downwards, leaving a trail of kisses on my stomach behind him. he hurriedly takes my pants and underwear off with one pull.

“ready, ma?” he breathes against my heat

“mhm..” i whimper

“louder, i can’t hear you.” he says teasingly

“yes, chris, please just touch me” i say, starting to beg, which i know he likes.

“whatever you say, princess.” he gives a sly grin before completely going down on me, eating as if this is his last meal.

“ohhh… fuckkkkk, just like that chris. keep going baby.” i moan loudly

chris smirks against me. hearing my noises is just turning him on even more. this makes him move his mouth faster. he loudly slurps and licks on me, trying to get more noises out of me as he lets his own out himself. my legs start to wriggle and close a bit, trying to get more pleasure. chris takes notice of this and holds them open and still with his left hand, his right being occupied with my clit, which he was toying with at a rapid pace.

“mmh.. taste s’good, baby. s’good.” he moans, face deep in my pussy, moving and hitting all the right places. he starts to quickly motion his tongue in and out of me. hands still on my clit and legs, holding them open.

“mghh.. yes, chris right there!” i yell out as my legs start shaking “b-baby, im about to-”

“do it. cum all over my face ma.” he mumurs

with one final flick of my clit, i burst and my juices start rolling onto chris’s mouth. he happily laps all of it up.

chris lifts himself up to give me a slow, heated kiss, making me taste myself on his tongue.

“you’re so good, princess. lets see if you can be even louder.” he smirks, winking at me.

he pulls his sweatpants down, his boxers following after. he gives himself a few pumps, spreading the precum all over his dick. chris looks up at me.

“ready, baby?” he asks, sweetly, lining himself up with me.

“yes, chris.. please” i whimper

he gives a small, silent chuckle at my begging before pushing himself all the way in me. he gives me a few seconds to adjust before slamming in and out of me.

“ohhh! oh my g-god…” i moan out

“yea, baby. say it. who’s making you feel like this?” he asks, relentlessly pounding into me

“you! fuckkkkk.. you chris. only y-you baby mmm..” i yell

all that’s heard now is the sound of squelching, coming from the spot where me and chris connect, moans, groans, whimpers and whines from the both of us, and skin slapping. a few moments later, he speeds up, now rapidly thrusting against me.

“chris! oh. shit shit shit shit. b-baby im close!” i warn, my legs starting to shake and my body starting to tremble under him.

“c’mon, baby. let it all out on me.” i can tell he’s close to by the way he tightens his grip on my waist and his thrusts get faster and sloppier.

“fill me up, baby. p-please.” i request.

that sentence alone makes him cum right there. and im close behind him, letting out a pornographic moan as i let my liquids out. chris’ thrusts slow down as he lets both of us ride out our high.

he pulls out and falls beside me as we take a few moments to breathe.

“that was great, baby.” he smiles at me, turning on his side so he can look at me.

“yea, you did amazing” i reply, giving him a smile as well

“im gonna go get a towel to clean us up.” he lifts himself up and makes his way to the bathroom. he returns with a damp towel and wipes me down. after that, we both get up to get dressed and make our way back to the living room. we put on a movie and wait for matt and nick to get back.

“ma.” chris looks at me.

“yes, baby?”

“do me a favor and don’t ever hide those pretty sounds from me again.” he says

“you got it baby” i laugh as i pull him and give him a soft kiss.

——————————————————————————————

mora speaks (again) ;; lmk if you guys enjoyed this oneee. i really liked writing because this is my first chris smut ‼️ ALSO MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN SO REQUEST AWAYYY. (might take me some time to do them but i will get to them !!) TOODLES <3

tag list ;; @sturniolos-blog @mayhem-72 @hearts4chris 🍵

[lover-also-fighter-also]

Hello Akhi! I am your Summer Secret Pal! I hope you enjoy this gift made for you! I remembered Anitha was a Jersey girl (like me!) and I imagined that she would want some memories from her childhood and home as she went off to Penderghast. So, I made this edit, I imagine she'd have this hung in her room!

About items on the board, from top left:

Since Anitha loves nature, this is a picture of a vista from her home state of NJ, as well as a photo of her at Von Thun Farms when she was a toddler. Von Thun's is about 20 minutes away from Princeton, and it's a very popular place for families—there are lots of photo ops all around, and this is one her parents took advantage of! The leg cast was after the motorbike accident when she was 10 years old. Her love of nature is reflected in how she decorated it.

Anitha knows she can do anything, and she's known it since she was a little girl. So a childhood hero, the yellow ranger, is here to remind her of that.

Her parents' nickname, "Ani," is prominently displayed to remind her of their love and support.

The bisexual flag made with pictures from nature seemed perfectly fitting for her!

If she grew up in Jersey, she definitely spent some time at the Jersey Shore (which is NOTHING like it is on the TV show, I might add! lol). In the upper right corner, there is a cluster of photo memories and a few tickets (used for boardwalk rides/games) as souvenirs. The photos are of an amusement pier, seated at a boardwalk game, and playing in the sand.

Right in the center is a picture of Penderghast, and just under it, her acceptance letter! This represents her future, surrounded by her past which brought her here.

Lower left is from her Princeton High School graduation, the logo of PHS, and her HS graduation tassel.

Lower right (this is one of my favorites!) If she was raised in the Hindu faith and lived in the state of NJ, she had to visit BAPS Swaminarayan Akshardham. This is the second-largest Hindu mandir in the world, and it's an absolutely beautiful place. Anitha knows there is a type of magic here, as well. This is about 30 minutes from her home in Princeton, and I imagine she would have had many visits here. I imagine that is her foster mom in one of the photos.

I hope I did a good job of capturing Anitha's childhood memories, and I hope this brought a smile to you today!

@choicesfandomappreciation

Heyy @jerzwriter!!

Really thank you for this amazing board for Anitha (she also thanks you btw). You really BEAUTIFULLY captured her life before Penderghast, even better than I can imagine it!

I really loved how the significance of each item on the board has been described and you have done an amazing job at showing what a unique individual Anitha is! Im honored that you are my summer secret pal, and I hope to get to know you better!

[okiankeno]

2 Truths 1 Lie Reveal:

TDLR: option 3 was my lie! The first love letter I did lose and never opened until 3 years later (funnily enough, this was from the academic rival's best friend btw) but my second letter, from a girl I knew, I opened right away after finding it. Hence, I lied.

If you would like to learn more about me and the stories behind the options I picked for myself, they're under keep reading!

Most of Smoshblr voted for option two, which everyone dubbed Wattpad fanfic adjacent. It happened lol. I have a long explanation in response to @unknownteapot that I will reiterate here with some edits:

The academic rival was a guy I had a 'crush' on in grade 6 (my last year of elementary school in Canada). I say 'crush' in quotations bc I didn't understand the concept of sexual attraction or romance until the year after. Before understanding sexuality and attraction, I thought that picking the smartest person in the class would make me fall in love or something (spoiler alert: not really). We were compared a lot to each other as overachievers because of the extracurriculars like music and sports that we did, but I never thought we were rivals outside of school.

He and I were pretty good friends too, we ended up going to different junior highs (grades 7-9) but we texted and emailed each other every so often to keep in contact. The summer before high school started, he sent me a flurry of texts pretty much saying "Please go to x school with me, if you do we can date each other" (as if that was like a cool reward for going to the same school as him like??)

He is a nice guy but it was weird to me. He knew that I had a 'crush' on him years ago because I either told him or my best friend told him I can't remember tbh. I have no idea if he liked me tbh it just came out of the blue but what do I know, I miss flirtatious cues a lot so 😔😭😣 oh, and if you are wondering, I did not take up his offer because I thought it was really weird, plus I didn't have feelings for him.

Option one, stopping foreplay because of a joke that I never told my girlfriend? This too, is true.

My girlfriend and I took edibles before nightfall and when I'm high is that I get very bubbly and it's super easy for me to laugh. Additionally, it's very easy for me to get locked in on intimacy — so that's how I found myself in my girlfriend's bed, you know, bodies pressed together (there's a slew of other effects, but these are most integral to this story). But as I was touching her I could not stop thinking about how funny yet unsexy it would be if I cracked a joke. And this thought just kept repeating over and over in my head making me giggle and then into full-blown laughter. So naturally, sexytime had to come to a halt. She asked me what was going on and I told her, "I kept thinking about how funny but unsexy it would be if I made a joke right now," to which she asked, "What was the joke?"

There was no joke, just me laughing in anticipation of potentially making one during sex. Really lame, I know. I ended up getting frustrated at myself for a few minutes (my girlfriend comforted me with, "We don't have to do this right now if you're not in the mood") while we paused but then I locked in and got to home base.

Option 3, unopened love letters! This is my lie! These stories have a lot of sadness carried with them, so if you don't like hearing about heartbreak, prepare yourself!

The first letter, Valentine's Day, I'm the only gal that gets one from this guy. I misplaced it in my bedroom in one of my books and didn't find it again until I deep-cleaned my room three years later. I open it, it's a card that tells me about how cool I am and is filled with Naruto drawings (I doodled a lot of anime characters in class) and a $20 bill. $20 is a lot for an elementary school kid! So, yeah, I missed that signal. My best friend at the time even said to me on the bus home, "Oh I think [guy's name] likes you," and I went hm yeah interesting, not interested (I didn't care for or understand romance at the time - this was grade 6).

Second letter: An anonymously signed love letter was found in my locker in May, a month before I graduated high school. I opened it immediately because I wasn't gonna have a repeat of missing a confession from someone. It's typed in Times New Roman, and signed with an uppercase 'L'. It's from someone I knew because of the details included in the letter. They wanted to confess to me before we graduated but didn't have the courage to do so in person.

I spent a week trying to figure out who this could be, and unfortunately for me, I pegged down the wrong person, someone I had an ongoing crush on for 5 years since junior high, and wrote a letter to him. He reads it. He says it's not from him and he doesn't like me. I'm heartbroken and baffled.

Almost immediately after conversing with my crush, I knew who it was from: the girl who sat beside me in my physics class for the past year. Her last name started with an L, but I never thought it was her, because her words, to me, in the context of my delusional crush on a guy, sounded like him. So in my heartbreak, I write her an emotional reply letter overnight, bringing the one I wrote for my crush as well, and approach her at lunch break.

It's a sunny day, two weeks have passed since getting the letter in my locker, and I bring her to the end of a busy open hallway. She's sitting on the concrete floor, I'm standing above her, letters in hand; everything is bright, but I know the next thirty minutes will be anything but naught. I opened the conversation by telling her I received her letter and by mistake, thought it was from someone else. I let her read the letters. She starts crying, and I do too — she's a very sweet girl and my friend. A teacher walks by and asks if we are OK, and we both are sobbing, saying, "Yeah." We do not look ok.

I felt soo shitty, having heartbroken her heart from my heartbreak, and she tells me she has to write a math exam after this. I still cringe thinking about this story to this day because it fucked me up emotionally and I couldn't sleep right for the rest of the summer. Anyway, I think about the experience and think I could make a Webtoon about it and it probably would pop off because a high school love triangle that's unrequited on all ends? Pain.

Anyways thanks for coming to my story time 🫠✌️

[cerealandchoccymilk]

Trigun Bookclub: Trigun Vol.1-2, Chapter #09

previous | all | next

I’m doing a deep-read of the Japanese original print (reread) and Overhaul 1.0 (first read) side-by-side, and writing down everything I notice from small details, version differences, translation differences, etc.

The volume numbers will be mismatched for most of the remainder of Trigun, since the Japanese first edition is 3 volumes while all later versions are 2 volumes.

As always, here are the non-analysis panels:

And the rest is under the cut.

[link for if the images aren’t in horizontal rows]

To start off, we have Meryl talking about buying designer handbags. This part was very confusing in Japanese because even though I could recognize Prada, the two other brands she named were completely bogus to me. What the hell are エピピ(Epipi) and NCM!?

So I asked my mom about it last night (she knows a decent amount about brands popular in the 90's, since she was still living in Japan back then). She was also stumped for a bit, but after a while she asked to see the way "Prada" looked. She noticed that it was written like プラーダ(purāda) rather than the correct プラダ(purada). I didn't notice because I don't know shit about fashion... but she suggested that maybe all of these were slight variations on real-life brands. She said that NCM is probably based on MCM Worldwide.

Epipi probably took a solid 20 minutes to figure out.... We were naming every brand on earth searching for anything that could even vaguely sound like "epipi." Right when we nearly ran out of ideas, she thought of googling just part of the name, like "epi brand," and voila, apparently there's a line of Louis Vuitton leather called Epi.

Epipi (and brain soup) is an inside joke between us now btw.

The chapter cover!! Everyone here is so damn cute... also I'm sitting almost exactly how Vash is right now.

This is the second appearance of Vash's shades. I can't see the details, but the design looks the same as the one before.

I'd completely forgotten how tiny Kaito is??? Literally half of Vash's height.

Vash's response to Kaito's insult(?) is「お前そりゃないだろ…」and is something more like "C'mon, man..." or "Seriously?"

big eyes vash big eyes vash i want to scoop him up and put him in a jar with holes in the lid

It's so cool how Vash immediately understands exactly what's going on through what he's overhearing, thanks to his childhood on the spaceship and his time at Home. How can this man not drive

I think the engineer is talking about the Plant here, so it should be "The shock could kill it." (although the Plant dying would also kill everyone else. ykwim)

Didn't know that guy was called a helmsman.... In Japanese, the word for helmsman, 操舵手 (the scan is super blurry and looked like 士 but the correct word is 手) was written as ライツ(raitsu) with 操舵手 written in the ruby. Maybe raitsu was the name of the helmsman? Or it might be something else boat-related that I don't know about.

Vash's silent reaction to Kaito's words say a lot. This behavior is nearly identical to Vash's (again, more so in Maximum, after Vash remembers the events of July and gets even more depressed). He understands Kaito's pain and guilt, and worries for him, but he also can't help but see himself in the boy... however he feels about that. This gets a bit more into theory territory, but I think Vash doesn't want Kaito to turn out like himself. Of course, he wants everyone to strive for peace; he wants people to be like that part of himself, in that regard. However, he doesn't want people to act self-destructive like he is. One obvious reason is that Vash genuinely doesn't want Kaito to be hurt, especially when he believes that people always deserve to start over and live a happy life.... But another underlying reason could be that he doesn't like percieving parts of himself in others, out of self-hatred.

One of my favorite lines ever!!!!! (has 50 favorites)(its not my fault trigun/trimax is so constantly banger) While humans views the Plant as a tool and an incomprehensible being, Vash simply views them as just a girl that needs calming down—"people" just like him and everyone else. He has a familial relationship with every Plant, which I absolutely adore. And!!! I will expand on this bit in the next(I think) arc and beyond, or maybe even make a separate post!!! I have so many thoughts surrounding this and it's a core theme to Trigun as a whole.

Noting some SFX since some non-Japanese readers may not have noticed - the plant is making a high-pitched scream from here on. Also, Kaito says that it's a "voice," not a "sound."

More Plant object-person dichotomy!! This unfortunately gets lost in translation, but it's a very neat storytelling trick. In Japanese, This is written in an interesting way:「プラント――　それは『造りだす』もの」 with もの(mono) having dots above them (in this context acting like italicization for emphasis in English). Usually, this もの would be more specific. There's 物(mono) which means "object" or "thing," and there's 者(mono) which means "person" or sometimes "being." The narrator intentionally leaves the identity of the Plant vague. Again, in humans' eyes, Plants are machines of production. In Vash's eyes, Plants are full-fledged people.

I would write that line closer to the original format, with quotes around "creates" and leaving it at that.

A longer translation correction—just going to transcribe it here:

水 紫外線 酸素 そして微電力を与える事によって物理法則を超えた『生産』活動を行う生体システムである They are organic systems that, when fed water, ultraviolet light, oxygen, and a bit of electricity, can "produce" things in a process that surpasses all physical law.

The sound effect here is loud footsteps on metal. I think it's neat that Nightow showed Vash running up the stairs with just onomatopoea and a shot of the stairs.

In Japanese, Vash says that he's counting on/leaving the rest up to the engineers/the others on the ship, after telling them to deal with it.

Again, Vash considers the Plant his family, a sister. He is talking directly to them and treating them with respect. The word used here is actually 兄弟(kyoudai), which means "brother(s)"/olderbrother-youngerbrother, where in this situation with a brother and sister of unspecified age/order it would usually just be きょうだい(kyoudai, spelled out)... it may be that back then, people didn't really specify or mix-and-match sibling gender (姉弟 兄妹 etc) in writing as much as we do now.

The first appearance of feathers on Vash!! During my first read, I was absolutely mesmerized by this page. Mannnnnnn the angel imagery....

Also bonus reaction from my dear friend from my Instagram liveposting back in April (yeah. my first read was only a bit over 2 months ago). booty CRACK

This is the "beeeeeeep" sound of a flatlining heart monitor. Until now I thought it was more of an imaginary thing to show that their hearts have stopped, but I just realized that it may also be a real sound of the Plant's vital monitors. Could be either, to be honest.

Apparently "yards" are normal? In Japanese it's written as ヤーズ(yādzu, yards) instead of what would regularly be just ヤード(yādo, yard), so that may be the subtle miles-iles change?

This line would be "The pipes are stuck! They won't even budge!"

And the SFX here is a distant chattering and cheering crowd.

And here is the last scene, with Kaito humming Rem's favorite song. Idk, this just gives me a raw emotional reaction... I can't really analyze it lol. Rejoicing that you've survived through hardship. That while things still aren't perfect, this imminent danger has passed. That you still get to enjoy being alive. The same song of humanity still sang. Something something....

Anyways that’s it for Chapter #09! As always, the Japanese annotations are in the reblogs.

[whatiwillsay]

went to the maximum effort to see it from both sides and mostly sided with taylor! / Cam, I think you are usually pretty good of trying to stay fairly unbiased on things like this but on this one it was clear right out of the gate that you have a bias against Billie (because you're just not a fan of hers and listen, I get it, someone you aren't a fan of said some shit about one of your faves, that's going to rub people the wrong way) but let's be real here...you were never going to really see it from both sides on this one lol. And holding Billie accountable for stuff other people have said is...idk, kinda weird to me. Like Damon's comments about Taylor's songwriting (and I actually think he was speaking on writing both lyrics and music, in which case he's not entirely wrong because she doesn't really write the music itself a lot of the time, she's writing the lyrics, even though he did zero research to know even that much) and how Finneas said they might get sued by Taylor.

Last thing is how both you and Gabbie acknowledged pretty early on in the conversation that Taylor does petty shit to other artists but that because she does it consistently somehow that makes it not so bad lol. At the end of the day, this is a 34-year-old woman beefing with other women in the industry who are much, much younger than her. With her age and experience she should know better. I'm not a huge Billie fan, btw, in case anyone thinks that's where my opinions stem from.

i mean 1. i never said i was unbiased i said we took care to consider both sides- and i think we did! gabbie is a big billie apologist and we took nearly 20 minutes at the end to talk about what a tough position billie might be in and at one point gabbie was so convincing i even said “you’re bringing me over to team billie”. i love taylor but went on and on about how this was damaging to her legacy AND at the end we both made fun of her for beefing with children. so i don’t get your comment at the end about “at the end of the day this is a 34 year old woman beefing with young people” like ya babe we said the exact same thing.

2. gabbie made the exact point that you can’t blame billie for what finneas and damon said. i’m the producer of the pod- i edit it. i included gabbie’s points because i thought they were good and wanted them communicated to the listener. just because i didn’t specifically say something doesn’t mean i didn’t sign off on the message- i did because i kept them in the final edit, i thought it was a good and fair point and that’s a reason i included gabbie i knew she would work to see things from billie’s side- relisten to the pod if you missed this! (i still maintain it was a shitty move to invite him up on stage after he insulted taylor in such an ugly way and then have people you work with be giggling about how much it will upset her that’s nasty behavior and BUT i can see how that’s not 100% billie’s fault)

and 3. no i’m not a fan of billie’s music or her vibe but that doesn’t mean i was insanely unfair to her. we roasted taylor a ton in that episode! to me it seems like no one is 100% clean on this! billie keeps being cunty and putting people down and taylor keeps dominating the charts. but at least dominating the charts is simply taylor’s job. billie keeps CHOOSING to be snarky. BUT like we said on the pod her snark very well may be justified.

at the end of the day i’m not really here to 100% take sides im just here for the ☕️ and the 🥩 (billie would be mad at me for this lol)

[crones-trash]

Mike Oldfield: This was his most popular song evah, released in 1983. I was such a fan I bought this song on vinyl. Yep 4 real. Size of an LP w/ a small hole but only one side was grooved. Amazingly, this limited edition LP contributed to its chart status.

When you hear Tubular Bells from 1973, you may say, "Oh, I know that!" It's from his very first album by the same title and was the soundtrack intro for The Exorcist, a blockbuster movie. The radio edit was ubiquitous for nearly a year, absolutely played to death. Even I grew to hate it.

The full version is 26 minutes long & that's only Part 1 on the album. BTW, he played 20 instruments producing this album. Debuting w/ a masterpiece is highly unusual & the circumstances that allowed its creation are even more so.

The story goes: Oldfield was a session musician on the rock scene & had subbed in folk groups, co-written some good tunes, & established enough cred to get himself invited out to Richard Branson's country estate. Branson wanted to start up Virgin Records w/ something that would blow people away. He had a complete sound studio w/ an orchestra's worth of instruments & gave Oldfield a week to create something amazing. Beyond the famous track, the rest of the album is equally astonishing.

Just look at Oldfield, perfectly swoon-worthy in 1975. I was happily married w/ a babe in my arms & didn't care what he looked like. I cared very much about how his music made me feel. And nearly 50 years later, it still takes me away like only pure trance dance music can.

Then 3 years later, Oldfield came out w/ Incantations, like Ommadawn had only been a dress rehearsal for his completed concept.

This album was a smash in the UK: 300,000 pre-orders took it to platinum status 2 weeks BEFORE it was released! This 4-part symphony overwhelms me, taking me out of the here & now & into a pagan realm of Nature worship—

Oops. I published before I finished but I'm tired now. Oldfield gets a Part 2 tomorrow.

[adora721]

Mental health tips

🌻DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT ANYTHING IN THIS POST BEFORE ACTING ON IT.

November 25, 2024

So, I’ve been dealing with clinical depression for about two years now. I’m not currently on medication, but I won’t rule it out if things get worse. A year ago, I met a retired older woman at church who is on medication. We’ve become close friends because of our mutual time spent in what she calls, “The Pit.” IYKYK.

As a progressive Christian, I feel the need to state that I’m progressive, it’s been frustrating trying to get support from the church. Although the people who know about my mental health issue are kind and express empathy, their advice has been lackluster. Not one could refer me to a trained therapist, but they can give me ten thousand referrals to dentists. Some offer quotes like, “Just give it to God.” or “Trust in God to give you the peace that passes all understanding.” Others, I suspect, think I’ve committed some sin that brought this on me. Thankfully, last summer, a friend from New Jersey introduced me to his cousin. She’s a Doctor of Pharmacy, who lives with depression and took medication. She is also a church member, who doesn’t assume my depression is a personal failing.

BTW: A mental health issue is NOT a personal failure or sin.

Because of the lack of support, I’ve made it my mission to do what I can for myself. Below are the things that have helped me to improve. When possible, I’ve provided one or more links to Pubmed.gov or other trustworthy sources that support the use of the tactic. You might already know to eat a diet high in unprocessed foods and to exercise, but below are things that might also help.

Massage – once a month, if affordable or free, if you have a partner or friend willing to do it

Warm bath or warm foot bath – 2 times a week for 20 minutes each; add Epsom salt and aromatherapy oils to make it a spa treatment

Forest bathing (being out in nature) – 20 minutes each day.

Sunlight (even in winter) – 30 minutes a day; bonus is that it helps a bit with hormone balance.

Get a therapist – If affordable, I highly recommend a therapist. Having someone who is empathetic, objective, and trained to deal with your issue is such a Godsend. My insurance covers therapy, but there are online options to find an affordable therapist, even if just for one session a month.

Calcium (Ca) – I don’t eat much dairy (gives me zits), so I take Now Red Mineral Algae calcium. To help calcium go where it’s needed and not end up in the blood vessels, I also take boron, D3 (2000 IU), and vitamin K2 as MK4 and MK7 (100 mcg). I take the calcium (and its supporting supplements) in divided doses of 500 mg of calcium two times a day for a total of 1000 mg of calcium. Strontium citrate also helps with calcium absorption; but the research I found said to take it two hours before or after taking calcium. A bonus from taking this calcium has been reduced menstrual cramps. Yay! Edited to add: Vitamin K is fat soluble; so take it with a meal that has some fat in it.

Magnesium (Mg) – I take the oxide form in divided doses with calcium for a total of 400 mg of magnesium a day. Bonus is that Mg keeps you regular 😊.

Vitamin T (touch) – hugs, hand holding, and other forms of caring touch help. Just 10 to 20 seconds of hugging can improve your mood.

Lower your histamine levels – This one is a bit weird. I started having sensitivity or negative reactions to many healthy foods I’ve eaten for years. These include avocado, tomato, citrus, fermented foods, chocolate (ugh! ☹) and more. Turns out I had developed a histamine intolerance. One of the ways to lower histamine is vitamin C, but I had to avoid citrus fruits. So, I take magnesium ascorbate powder from Source Naturals. The studies said 2000 mg of vitamin C lower histamine in the body. I take 2K twice a day (4000 mg total) .You might have to build up to that amount. Also, it took trial and error to figure out what kind of vitamin C worked for me. There’s also a diamine oxidase (DAO) supplement you can buy; it’s pricey, but I only take once in a while or when I eat out. Seriously, the extra vitamin C keeps my histamine levels closer to normal for less cost.

Undermethylation – Another oddity. Finding out about my histamine issues led me to learn about undermethylation and MTHFR. Because of this, I had to be careful of taking in too much folate (natural form in foods) or folic acid (synthetic form in enriched foods). Undermethylators, like myself, trap folate in the body instead of converting it to its active, methylated form. Because of this, that trapped folate lowers my serotonin level. Since I eat a high plant-based diet, I had to kick high folate foods out of my diet. When I have salads, it’s iceberg lettuce for me. I do still eat enough folate; I just stick closer to the 400 mcg levels. I do not react well to the methylated forms of B vitamins, like methyl folate or methyl B12. I take an adenosylcobalamin and hydroxocobalamin (combo) for B12 from the Seeking Health brand.

Salicylate intolerance – One more odd thing. I’m now sensitive to foods high in this compound, which increased my inflammation. I’ve also found out that I had low iron levels, which also increases inflammation. That inflammation might contribute to depression. I have reduced foods high in salicylate and added supplemental iron. Doing this has lowered my inflammation as shown on my recent C-reactive protein high sensitivity test. I also use the No-Fenol enzyme supplement by Houston Enzymes when I can't avoid eating moderate or high-salicylate foods. The Cleure brand has skin and hair care products that are salicylate-free.

Microbiome (gut bacteria) – There’s some evidence that eating probiotic foods is helpful in mood disorders. The problem for me is that fermented foods are very high in histamine. Taking the vitamin C has helped me to put a few ounces of foods like kefir, raw sauerkraut, kombucha, and yogurt back into my diet. I eat A2 kefir and yogurt (goat, sheep, and some A2-producing cows). And, of course, fiber is your microbiome’s BFF, especially soluble fiber from fruits and vegetables.

Self-talk – Learn to practice positive, compassionate self-talk. What you say to yourself about you and your world matters. No need to deny reality but refocus on what you have to be grateful for, speak hopeful words, watch, read, and do things that lift you up or make you laugh. And watch what you say to others; you never know what someone is going through.

Final tip: Remove from your life, if it’s safe to do that, anyone or anything that worsens your mental health and find better people and things to add. You’ll know who these people are because you’ve expressed your distress about how they mistreat you, but they refuse to change. Bid them adieu and love them from afar.

I hope you get the support you need and know that you are needed in this world. God bless! 🌻

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

oh my goodness!! you gave so many! thank you so much i will totally check them out :') i was reading mossmurdock's and all your mutuals are so talented! i love their priest geto as well. (i think it was them?) i'll give ao3 another go! i used to look for stuff on there but i think i got kinda frustrated after nothing happened for 20 chapters 😭😭

omg excuse the misinformation... tbh i actually haven't watched season 2... just know some stuff from twitter and edits/fics (i know the story line!)

n NOT TO OVERINTERACT BUT your moodboard (or whatever it's called the arisugu ig page) is so freaking cute i can't take it... the vibe is immaculate. n where did you get the photos my lord i keep searching "couple pics" on pinterest n it's not working 😭😭‼️‼️‼️ i hope you're having a great day btw!

YOU’RE SOOOOO WELCOME MY BELOVED!!!! it’s my pleasure!!! :3 AND YES MOSS AND EVERYONE R SO TALENTED IT’S INSANE i’m honoured to breathe the same air as them. genuinely. their sugu stuff will keep you fed for a long time to come!!!!

as for ao3!! i totally get that, i think another downside is that dc is a Lot more prominent on ao3 than tumblr from my experience so if you’re sensitive to that (which i Am :’3) it might be kinda difficult…. but again, the filtering system is so good and useful!!! you can use it to exclude certain character tags or ship tags so that they don’t show up for your search, and you can filter out certain rating and warnings…. etcetc. you can also filter your search so that only completed fics show up!!! i just think it’s a lot easier to navigate compared to tumblr. one of my favorite sugu pieces ever is alive, still by heeful on ao3, it’s an apocalypse au so not exactly fluff but i’m linking it anyway bc it’s SO good. and also pretty short!!!!

ALSOOO DON’T APOLOGIZE PLS!!! i get so excited whenever i hear that people haven’t watched s2 bc that just means you have so much amazing content ahead of you!!!!! my all-time favorite jjk episode is s2 ep5 :3 to no one’s surprise. whenever you watch it, i’d love to hear your thoughts!!!!

AND PLS DON’T APOLOGIZE FOR ”OVERINTERACTING” EITHERRR there’s simply no such thing!!!!! that makes me feel so happy you have no idea 😭😭 i worked very hard to get the vibe across pvdkdbd….. it took a long time to find the right pictures, i think you just kinda have to keep searching :’3 using keywords obviously helps…. i spent like 30 thirty minutes relentlessly typing out ”couple aethetic hoodie hug” and stuff just to find pics that matched my vision LMAO. but the pinterest chase is kinda fun in its own right….. good luck 🌖 anon!!! i’m just abt to go to sleep hehe, but i hope your day or night is going so well too !!!! <33333

[transvenger]

here's a little edit I did earlier this morning... please enjoy..

[themonsterjustschemes]

And here we have the most half assed cosplay in the world because Max Caulfield was the main inspiration for cutting my hair to this length

[gegewrites]

Fezco - Spoiled Brat(smut)

smut :)

i hate how you tell when i changed writing platforms 

published- 1-27-22

words- 2471

edited- nah l8r

content warning- smut and a princess complex reader

based off a post where someone said they wanted to see Fez with a princess complex girlfriend, hope i did it justice.This s all in Fezcos pov btw

Fezcos pov-

"Please?" She looked at me with those needy ass eyes,"come on." "(y/n)." I said looking at the dress on the manikin. "Fezzy." She hugged my arm and I slowly blinked,"I really want it." "I'm not your sugar daddy." I said with a laugh. "But you're my daddy." She whispered into my ear," Im gonna try it on and change your mind." She pulled me into the store. She insisted we go to the mall today, I wouldn't say no, I mean Ash wanted to get new sneakers, I needed some shirts and pants so I mean why not

After 20 minutes I was now sitting on a couch in a changing room waiting for (y/n) to come out in the dress and other ones she looked at. I had my bag between my feet, and her purse right next to me, not like she needed it, I was paying for everything. "Ready?" She asked. "Always." I answered as the door opened. It was pink...and short, with hip cut outs. She walked in front the mirror and the thing had barely any back, it showed everything but her ass. "(y/n), that is lingerie." I said and ahe turned around, her hands in her hips. "It's a dress." "It's lingerie, I'm not lettin you wear that outta the house." She crossed her arms over her chest, pushing her boobs up, she had a pout on her lips,"don do that." "Please?" She leaned forward, it was getting hard to say no at this point. What the Fuck am I saying, it's always hard to say no to her,"fez, please." "Fine." I gave up,"I'll buy it for you." "Thank you!" She hugged me, kissing my cheek. She was a Fuckin princess, a spoiled brat but...Fuck, she rolled picture perfect blunts and worked the game so I guess it cancels it out.

We left the shop after an hour, I was now holding the two bags of clothes she had, along with my 1 bag,  I got some clothes at polo. "Thank you." She kissed my cheek. "Welcome." I saw ash walking towards us, two bags in his hands. "You still bein her bitch?" He asked. "Come on, gotta go open the shop for the next few hours."

The good thing about (y/n) was that even with her little Princess complex and her need to be spoiled from her very obvious lack of a father figure,  she wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty. I'm not talking dirt, no she'd break her nail and I'd have to go take her to the salon to get it fixed, no  I'm talking blood, she was there when Ash went killer on mouse and helped us clean it up. She helped us flush all the pills during the raid,  oh and most importantly, she helps me with Gran. so yes ,I'll buy her that dress, those heels, that oddly expensive lipstick or highlighter.

(y/n) was sitting on the counter, a compact mirror in one hand and the other had lipgloss. She keeps a compact mirror and some emergency makeup at the counter. Did I like it? I mean it took up some space but it wasn't bad. But was it cute watching her touch up her lipgloss for 15 minutes? In a sense yes. "Perfect." She smiled, closing the compact and gloss she put it on the counter with the rest of her little things. She was currently in a little white flowy crop top, some tight ripped jeans that hugged her in all the right places, and some pink heels. "Lookin good like always baby." I said, I looked into the cooler from where I was and saw ash shaking his head at me. Ash liked (y/n) and he was happy I had her but she did annoy him with her Princess act. I understand that, it did get annoying some times, but she knew when she took it too far...well after the fact.

I was sitting at the table in the lounge, sorting some stuff, coke, pills, weed, all the stuff that we usually sell out over the week and that's most commonly bought. I felt to arm wrapped over my shoulders and a pair of lips kiss my neck. "Daaady." She whispered into my ear, I ignored her and continued sorting,"daddy." "Hmm?" I hummed not stopping what I was doing. As I sealed a baggie I felt her nails run down my bare shoulders and onto my sides I was shirtless right now ,"(y/n) I gotta work." "Come on." She pouted, her voice Whiney. "Later." "But I want you now Fez!" Her voice needy and absolutely pathetic. "Later (y/n), I gotta get these done." I wasn't really in the mood right now, I had to get these packed, ash was asleep, it's  late, about 1 in the morning. "Fez. Come on, please please pleeeease!" "Jesus (y/n)! Get outta of my fuckin face im tryin to work!" I yelled and she un attached herself from me. "Sorry." Her voice was nothing but a small squeak compared to it before,"sorry." I put my head in my hands as I heard the couch squeak as she sat down. I sat there for a few seconds composing myself of the bust of anger. I stood up from the chair and walked over to the couch from behind leaning over it. "M' sorry." I kissed her cheek then her temple,"it's late, we should get to bed." "Sorry." She whispered,"In shouldn't bother you while you're working." "Nah Baby, M' Just tired." I kissed the top of her head,"come on."' she got off of the couch and came around right to me and I pulled her into a hug before picking her up getting away giggle from her. She placed a kiss on my lips as I walked out of the lounge and down the hall. She put her head into the crook of my neck and left some small kisses. My hand was on her ass, she was in my multi colored polo and lace panties.

When we got into our bedroom I closed the door behind us with my foot. I laid her down on the bed gently and she brought me into a kiss, her nails scratching the back of my head lightly. "You lucky  you cute." I muttered into her lips before kissing down her jaw, I grabbed into the bottom of my shirt she was wearing, she sat up and I took it off of her and tossed it. I kissed his collar bones, my hands grabbing onto her waist and hips as my lips trailed down her warm skin. "Daddy." She whispered, I looked up at her through my lashes and saw her face tinged a slight pink. "What Princess?" I kisses in between her boobs my hand trailing Ik and taking on of them in my hands," words pretty girl." She stayed silent but opened her mouth to talk before biting her lip and a slightly whimper left her lips when my thumb circled her nipple. "Wan' my lips here?" I kissed her other boob, she hummed in agreement, and I kissed down her ribs onto her stomach,"here?" She shook her head and I kissed further down as I kept massaging her book in my hand. I kissed both of her hips,"here?" "Close." She giggled. "Wan me..." I kissed down her lace panties right over her clit,"here?" "Right there please." "Such good manners." I hooked both of my hand into her panties and pulled them down my legs as I got down on my knees. I kissed yo her leg to her thigh where I quickly nipped it before licking over her slicked lips. I wasted no time dipping my tongue to her clit, I grabbed her hips and pulled her closer to me, her legs going over my shoulders. "Oh god Yes." She sighed, I lightly sucked her clit gradually getting harder,"fuu-" I moved my had to cover her mouth from the loud moan, ash is on the other side of our wall, I ain't wakin him up. "Keep quiet." I said to her as I started sucking and licking her clit harshly, her thighs tightened around my head and her nails scrapped my scalp. "Mmm!" She moaned into my palm. I could feelmjer getting wetter on my my chin so my dived my tongue into where she wanted it most and she rashes her back up and help my hand to her lips. "Good girl." I praised as I licked back and forth from her clit to her core, I could feel her chest rising and falling fast, the heel of her for digging into my shoulder, she was close. I pulled my hand away from her mouth and slid my middle and index into her soaked core. "Fez!" She moaned, my fingered curled up in her I pumped them, her eyes clamped right and her hand now gripping at the blankets, "daddy daddy daddy! Just like that!" "Ya? feel good? I kissed her stomach,"this what you want?" "Mmhm!" I sucker her clit as my fingers pumped in and out of her dripping core. kissed up her stomach bringing myself to stand. i bit and sucked around her collar bones and chest, her chest rising and falling quickly as pleasure took her over.

“gon’ cum baby?” i asked as i kissed her neck.

“yes please plea-se!” i kissed her jaw, i curled my fingers a little bit more and pumped faster,”just like that!”

“you need to quiet down Princess.” i chcukled and kissed her forehead, her back arched, pushing her chest into mine,” come on, cum for me. show me how fuckin needy you are.” 

(y/n) was...a bitch. not in the bad way, she broke her nail once and came into the shop nearly in tears.

“i broke a nail.” she held her hand out for me to take, and in fact she did, her index nail much shorter then her other pink bedazzled stilettos.

“its okay.” i kissed her knuckles.

“no its not fez! my set is ruined!” she had a little stomp with her last words, her heel clicking on the tiles.

“no its not.” maybe i wasnt understand completely how important this was.

“this is like a blunt breaking in your pocket fez! a dime bag ripping open in your wallet! a hole in a condom!”

“not a problem for us.” i couldnt stop the smile showing up on my face/

 “this is not okay Fez!” this finally  ripped a laugh from me,” this isnt funny!”

“it really is princess.” i smiled.

“i hate you.” she turned around, her arms crossing.

“go get a new set.” i reached into my back pocket grabbing my wallet, she turned around, i grabbed out a 100 and a 50 and handed it to her,”ill see you later.” 

“really? Thanks!’ she took the money and hugged me, placing a kiss onto my cheek and neck before she walked away.

“that was the softest shit ive ever seen, i dont want to turn out like you.” i heard ash say from the door to the back.

“get in yo freezer.”

i ran my hand down (y/ns) back as i positioned  the head of my cock at her dripping warm core.

“ready?” i asked running my hand up and down her thigh, her face was down in the blankets and her ass in the air.

“come on.” she said impatiently as i ran the head over her clit and slicked folds

“is that how you talk to me?” i asked.

“please daddy, im ready.” she fixed her tone.

‘thats better.” i slid my tip in before ramming into her, ripping a loud moan from her throat, her hands grabbing onto the comforter.

“oh goooood!” she moaned into the fabric as i bottomed out.

“feel so good princess.” i kissed in between her shoulder blades,” always so good for me.”  my finger tips dug into her thighs as i pulled out of her, leaving in the tip and ramming back in.

“daddy! fuuck!” she cried.

“you need to shut up, you wake up ash you explainin’ why.” i slapped her thigh, the whack ringing in the room, i ran my palm over it to soothe it as i started to slowly thrust in and out of her, puling out and going back in. i sped up slightly, groans escaping my lips and muffled moans from her. my head fell back, i could feel the coldness of my chains on my chest compared to the warmth of her walls tight around my cock. 

“oh shit.” i heard her breath out,  i looked down at her and gave her ass a hard smack, ash is a heavy ass sleeper, he aint gon hear shit i just like giving (y/n) a hard time.  i grabbed onto her waist pulling out of her completely before slamming back into her.

“god fuck.” i moaned as i slammed back into her again speeding up, my hand slid down her back to the small of her back using that to help me keep this bruisng pace she loved so much.

“just like that!” she moaned, her tone dripping with ecstacy much like how her pussy was dripping with her cum right now,”oh fuck im gonna cum!’

“no you aint.” i pulled out of her, i flipped her over onto her back ,pulling her closer to me by her thighs and slamming right back into her. her hands grabbed onto my shoulders, her naisl diggin into my skin.

“fuck fuck fuck!” i planted a hand down by her head as she held onto me.

“like that?’ i groaned into her ear and she nodded, i kissed her neck as i thrusted up into her.

the room was filled with the sound of her moans, my groans, slapping of skin welcomed by  the smell of sex and the lingering  smell of weed. 

“you a spiled brat.” i whsipered into her ear as her nails raked up my back.

“im gon-na cum daddy, come on pl-please.”

“wait for me baby, im almost there.’ i felt her tightening around me, whimpering moans and shuddered breaths left her mouth. my breath hitting her neck as i nipped o her skin, groaning from the pleasure building in me,”you gon be good if you cum?”

“of cpurse daddy! come on!” she moaned, i felt my high tracking into my muscles.

“come on princess, cum wit’ me.” i kissed her collarbones, as her walls fluttered around my cock. my muscles tightened as i kept trhusting into her. i shot my cum deep inside of her pussy as she moaned my name and how good it was. i slowly started to slow down, keeping her close to me.

“fez.” she breathed out as i stopped moving, my thighs were wet from her orgasm so were the blankets. out bodys slicked with sweat.

“that what you wanted?’ I asked pulling out of her but staying above her.

“mmhm” she gave me a weak smile, her eyes opening and looking at mine blown with lust.

“you spoiled.”

[isaspsp]

💋💫Crimson Lips 💫💋

A Lady never leaves a mark.

Unless she wants to ~

Edit: I found the original comment I had along with this piece!!! So under the cut it goes. Enjoy the reding, if you dare.

This piece is fanart for Monochromatic's "Crimson Lips"

I have a lot to say about this piece. Firstly, I have a hard time picking favourites most of the time. I don't have a favourite food. I don't have a favourite color. I don't have a favourite music genre. I don't have a football team. I do have a favourite number! I don't have a favourite author. But I believe that last part has been surely rectified by now. I guess I can say that I've dedicated so luch time to doing fanart for this one author, that they can, indeed, be considered my favourite author. Then we are taken to this piece. One more fanart. Of an ABSURDLY amazing story. It might be the bias that it is from my favourite author, and someone I have the honor to call friend even. (Mono, btw is the author of the books for my two AMVs, so I'm quite the fan) But really, it's an amazingly written story I urge you to read. Reminder that the fic is rated teen, but it deals with sensitive topics.

Now onto the piece: This piece took an ABSURD amount of time. Like. I think it officially topples any of my previous records. But I don't know exacly how long it took. If it were up to me (and it is), I'd say it took like, maybe 6 hours? (It didn't, it was a lot more) I really wonder what sort of trance this piece had over me. I finished it in about 5 days-ish? I made the rough thumbnail on day one; 40% of the frame on day two; finished the frame, sketched the characters and blocked in all of them in day three; Rendered 75% of the characters day four; Finished rendering and other details on the morning of day 5. Today! That might seem reasonable enough. But here's the thing. I worked day 3 and 4 all day solely on this piece. From 8am to 11pm. ALL DAY. AND I DIDNT NOTICE I SPENT ALL DAY WORKING ON THIS ONE PIECE. I didn't even open another drawing's file. If you're familiar with csp's time-lapse feature, know that a two character portrait usually amounts to a 2 minute video. A piece that I'd usually spend 4 hours on, amounts to 2 minutes. This piece has a ten minute time-lapse. So I'd wager that I spent… at least 20 hours on this piece. Which feels so wrong. It's a beautiful piece sure. I love it immensely. But it feels wrong. It doesn't feel like it would need that much time to be completed? It doesn't have a conplex background, it doesn't have challenging Lighting, the characters don't interact directly, there isn't so.e frame perspective going on. So I don't know what made this piece take this long.

Let's gather what could've made this such a long piece.

I didn't rush A SINGLE PART OF THIS PIECE. Which contributes to why It took so long. I ALWAYS rush some part of a piece. Not necessarily in big ways, but maybe a rushed element. In this piece, the only thing I settled for was the border/frame/background. And even then, I say "settled" for because I did put a lot of care in it, but it was okay with it not being perfect.

I'm not THAT used to drawing and consequently painting humans. Or humanoid creatures. The reason why I draw more antro than human is because I'm SO terribly horrible with faces. Now, you don't see all the thrown away sketches from years past. I think a lot of that stemed from me not knowing how I wanted to go about stylizing them. When I started drawing pony, I had a very small pool of inspirations, and I did a shit ton of tracing (much before I ever started posting on the internet), so I didn't have much - or any at all -pressure to find a style. Now it's different. I'm very proud of my art. I've convinced myself that I don't have time for self doubt. This is the one and only hobby I'll not ever allow myself to drop. I've dropped knitting, soap carving, reading, swimming (which I couldn't to much in the first place), but art has been the one consistent hobby I've had. My self doubt will have the rip my heart away before it gets rid of my love for my own art. But then humans. I love my art, but then again, I can dislike my work still. And because my horizons are so much broader than they were when I started, I have so many options… too many options. Humans are difficult to draw because they are so fundamentaly different from all the animals I've drawn. They are us. Humans, there is so much more nuance that you have to capture to make them feel real. It's a hard balance to achieve. There are so so so many ways to stylized humans, from more goofy, to more simple and concise, to graphic to hyper realistic (aka barely any stylization). And again, I' bad at picking favourites. So then come furries, anthros. The nice middle ground of humanoid, but still familiar with the animal bits. And with anthro, you can choose how humanoid they'll be, so they were a good way to ease myself into drawing humans! And it worked. But I fear it might've worked too fast. Or at least too pointedly. Too concentrated in this one piece.

It feels like someone else drew this piece.

I think the best way to analyse your art looking for ways to improve it is by imagining you didn't draw it. It's easier to pick out the weaknesses of something you don't have emotional connection with. After I'm done with analyzing, I can switch back to myself and love a piece for what it is. Again, I need to be proud of my art.

But this piece is almost foreign in quality.

It's supposed to be heavily inspired by the art nouveau movement. I think that is pretty clear, so naturally, it's a far reach from my usual style. I don't thing that the realism is the characters' proportions is a staple of that style, more so the rendering, shape language and background style are what clue you into that style. So I could've done any stylization for the characters and it's work. At least it would've been good enough for me. But then again. Humans are a pain to draw. And making them anywhere other than human would destroy the intent of the original text, so that wanst an option. So I started drawing. I honetsly don't remember most of my sketching process nor decisions. Only by looking at the time-lapse that I see what decisions I took. Again. Foreign. I think the only piece of human art I have similar in style tot his one is those humans portraits I drew of my OCs, Beau and Bishop. But even then, this feels… different. Not to count that the rendering technique is something I, again, have never done before! This was mostly a combination of hard pencils smoothened out my blender brushes. I usually just bland with the painting brushes themselves, so that was a new technique for me. Again foreign.

In conclusion. I don't know if it's a good thing that this piece feels that foreign. But I know I drew this and that I'm proud and completely in love with it, and I hope you all are too 💖

[unluckyhoneybee]

not sure what plot I'd put around this but something where mick gets held/forehead kisses? I want to hold my boy :( I love your writing btw! <33

Part 20. Best friends to lovers MASTERLIST.

Note: Already 20 parts 🥺. Thank you so much for all the love and support. And for your wonderful prompts. I couldn't imagine this would get this far when it started❤️❤️. Enjoy this short piece.

Warning: mentions of Monaco crash. Not edited.

You didn't breathe until you heard him on the radio. Once again, his car was broken in a half. Your heart was beating so hard. It was always scary to see him crash.

When you saw him back on the garage, helmet still on and visor down, you knew that he probably wanted to hide on his room for a while, but he took your hand when he walked past you. You tangled your fingers with his and followed him.

On his driver's room, he took the helmet and balaclava off. He was tired, exhausted even. You could see it on his icy blue eyes.

You knew you had to be patient, he would come to you when he needed to. You waited on the small sofa and watched him get rid of his race suit. When he turned around and looked at you, with messy hair and glassy eyes you patted your lap and opened you arms.

He needed to be taken care of. Even if it was just for ten minutes.

He came to you and laid on the sofa, his head on your chest and his arms crossed over his chest.

Mick curled into you and you hugged him close. You hated seeing him like this. You just wanted him to enjoy racing, to live is dream. But he had that car.

You heard him letting a shaky breath out and cradled him closer. With a hand on the back of his head, you kept him close and kissed his forehead. He hummed softly. You smiled a bit and played with his hair, slowly caressing his back to help him relax his tense shoulders.

"I love you so much, baby. And I'm so proud of you" You gave him another kiss on his forehead and then on his nose. He had wrinkles between his eyebrows. You kissed him there and he relaxed his expression, sighing softly.

"It feels good" He whispered with a tiny smile on his lips.

You played with his hair at the same time you featherly kissed his forehead, nose and cheeks.

"I love you so much" You whispered looking at him in the eyes. "I will build a fast car for you as soon as I can. And you will best their asses and make all of us even prouder".

He smiled and grabbed you by the back of your head, giving you a soft and long kiss.

"I love you. Thank you for being here"

"I will always be, Mickey"

He hid in your neck and you kissed his cheek, holding him close and tight. You loved to have him like this, to take care of him when he was feeling low. It was something special for you. He trusted wyou with everything he had, on his most vulnerable moments.

"It will be okay" You whispered on his ear. You spend the resting time until he had to go to talk to the media giving him soft kisses all over his face. He almost fell asleep, his nose tickling on your neck and his fingers playing with you clothes.

"You feel like home." He whispered.

[givemetherapyimawritingtravesty]

Hey Deek! You mentioned in your most recent fic (so amazing btw) that Sirius and Remus both struggle with mental stuff as well, and I was wondering if you'd be willing to write something about that? Hope you have a great day regardless!

Hello lovely Eve! I have the file for this doc saved under the name: “Anything for you Beyoncé” and I just thought y’all should know that. I most certainly can! I apologize this took forever (that seems to be the theme for me lately ope) but here it finally is. I love when people ask for more based on like a random line from something else because of course I have more thoughts on the subject, I’m very long winded. Edit: This has really snowballed in a long thing kinda (Like over 3k) oopsie daisy. No wonder this took me so long to finish. I hope it was worth the wait??

I would also like to note that I HC that even after Sirius moved out, the house he bought was still in the same neighborhood as the Dumias’. Not too close, like maybe the other side of it or a neighboring cul-de-sac or something, a good 10-20 minutes or so maybe but still close by.

TW for anxiety, panic attack, loss of consciousness

Dumo kept stealing glances at Sirius from across the dinner table at Sid’s. He hadn’t ordered anything, instead opting to steal a few bites from Remus’ order. Dumo had noticed that Sirius had been rather quiet the last few days of practice and was glad they had the next two days off to recoup; Sirius seemed to need the break.

Remus caught him looking over at Sirius, and they shared a look. They could both tell something was bothering their captain, but also knew it could be a delicate situation and didn’t want to push the matter in such a public place.

***

An hour later, Remus and Sirius headed home, the radio playing softy in the background. Sirius couldn’t seem to stop fiddling with the pocket of his hoodie, and eventually reached over to turn the radio off. It had been making him restless; just like at the restaurant, the idle background noise was getting on his nerves.

All night he had been zoning out during dinner, trying to filter out all the noise that seemed to be a bit too much stimulation. His boyfriend glanced over at him after he had turned the radio off without a word but didn’t say anything. Sirius was sure he must have been concerned but was a=waiting until they got home to address it, which Sirius was grateful for. He wasn’t sure what the issue was, but he was pretty sure he was about to have a breakdown at any moment about it.

Once they got home and walked through the door, Remus kissed Sirius cheek, “I’m going to go grab the laundry and throw a load in before we head to bed. Need anything washed?”

Sirius shied away from him. “Non.”

Sirius normally loved the little reassuring touches from his boyfriend, but all day it was just hitting the wrong nerve. It didn’t feel good. He made his way to the living room and sat on the couch in silence, staring at the blank TV. He couldn’t put a finger on what was wrong, but he knew something was. The last few days he had been on edge and couldn’t seem to figure out why. Everything was too much to handle and there was this tight feeling in his chest that only got heavier when he tried to do anything. He had barely managed to work up the courage to let Remus drag him to practice the last few days because even that seemed too overwhelming of a task. He hadn’t had much of an appetite either, barely finishing what Remus would put on his plate and never going for seconds or even thirds, which was a typical occurrence for him.

He’s not sure how long he sat on the couch doing nothing, but he faintly heard the washer turn on and then Remus sat on the other end of the couch. His voice was unnervingly soft as he spoke, “Baby, please talk to me.”

Sirius only stayed silent, steadfastly not making eye contact.

Remus shifted a little closer on the couch, but Sirius only shied away, further concerning Remus. “Please. What can I do? What do you need?”

At that it was like the dam that had been building in Sirius’ chest all week finally broke. “I don’t know what I need!” Sirius shouted, standing up and crossing the room, still facing away from his worried boyfriend. He couldn’t handle the look on his face right now. He brought his hand up to tug at his hair on either side of his face. “I either need to scream or collapse and take a nap, I don’t know! I hate being in this limbo.” He finally turned around, tear in his eyes. “I don’t know what to do anymore.” Sirius broke down, crashing to his knees and letting out a frustrated sob.

Remus slowly and deliberately got up from the couch, sitting down in front of it where Sirius had been sitting. He was still a good five feet from his boyfriend on the floor, but he didn’t want to crowd him. “Hey. It’s okay.” Remus soothed him. “I’m right here.”

“I know you are and I… I don’t even know what to ask for help. Fuck, I’m- just so- frustrated with myself. Why do I feel like this? Everything is too much to handle and it shouldn’t be but even picking a fucking hoodie to wear for the day makes me a nervous wreck. It’s too big a decision and it’s a fucking sweater. Why?!” He sobbed.

“Sirius, can I touch you right now?” Remus had reached his arms out a bit towards Sirius.

“No.” He gasped out.

“Alright.” Remus held his hands up in surrender. “I need you to take a deep breath with me, yeah? In. Out.” Remus’ tone was calm and even, despite the panicked look he no doubt had on his face. His boyfriend may have a good poker face, but he couldn’t hide the tough emotions. Sirius could always read him like a book, even when Remus didn’t want him to. He led Sirius through a few long breaths which he couldn’t quite take completely.

After a few tries, Sirius got frustrated with the effort and not being able to get in a good brath and started to hyperventilate, still pulling on his hair. He’s not sure how long he knelt on their living room floor like that; he could vaguely make out Remus a few feet from him, trying to talk to him. Probably trying to get him to calm down, but he couldn’t hear him. He couldn’t focus on anything besides the floodgates that had opened in his chest and that damn washerswishing in the background. It mixed with the sound of his loud breathing, which was also freaking him out, and it was too much. There was too much noise. In what could have been moments or hours of trying to breathe, everything went black.

***

Remus knew Sirius had been off all week. His cuddle bug of a boyfriend had stopped initiating contact and was tentative at best when Remus tried to comfort him in any way. He’d hardly been eating, pushing around food on his plate and seeming to choke most of it down before giving up. But at least he ate.

Even at team dinner at Sid’s on their day off, he hadn’t gotten anything. Remus got him to take a few bites of his food, but that was it. And Dumo had noticed. Well, everyone was starting to notice, but everyone just thought their captain was in a funk. Remus wasn’t so sure that was all it was, and Dumo seemed to be thinking the same thing at dinner.

Sirius had been out of it at dinner, not really paying attention to anything but jumpy if anything loud clattered about. On the ride home, he had turned off the radio. Sirius loved the background music normally, but it seemed to be putting him at unrest. Remus wasn’t sure what was going on, but he was starting to piece it together.

Once they had gotten home, he tried giving Sirius a reassuring kiss, then busied himself with the laundry to give Sirius a bit of space. It only took him 15 minutes to fun upstairs to collect their laundry, sort it into loads, and throw it in, starting it and going to find his boyfriend.

He sat on the other end of the couch, trying to give him space. He tried to keep his voice even, despite the worry, “Baby, please talk to me.” He hoped the nickname would sooth him.

When Sirius didn’t respond in any way, he shifted closer. “Please. What can I do? What do you need?”

That seemed to tip him over the edge. He abruptly stood and took a few staggering steps from the couch, hands going up to pull at his hair. That was never a good sign. He only did that when he was trying to ground himself from his thoughts. He was having a panic attack.

“I don’t know what I need!” Sirius shouted. “I either need to scream or collapse and take a nap, I don’t know! I hate being in this limbo.” He finally faced Remus then, tears in his eyes and Remus felt helpless to help his hurting boyfriend. “I don’t know what to do anymore.” Sirius continued, falling to his knees and sobbing.

Remus’ heart broke for him. This had been building up all week and now it was time to let it all out. He had been having an anxiety attack the last few days and didn’t even realize it. But Remus knew now was not the time to think about the what if’s if he had realized sooner. Sirius needed him now. Probably didn’t even register himself that he had been having a prolonged anxiety attack and that’s what let it build up.

Remus deliberately got up and slowly moved nearer to the panicking man, sitting down a few feet from him, leaning back against the couch. “Hey. It’s okay.” Remus tried to sooth him. “I’m right here.” He did his best to not let his worry creep into his voice, he knew that would only freak Sirius out more.

“I know you are and I… I don’t even know what to ask for help. Fuck,” Sirius sounded so broken. “I’m- just so- frustrated with myself. Why do I feel like this? Everything is too much to handle and it shouldn’t be but even picking a fucking hoodie to wear for the day makes me a nervous wreck. It’s too big a decision and it’s a fucking sweater. Why?!” He sobbed harder.

“Sirius, can I touch you right now?” Remus asked, reaching his arms out a bit towards Sirius, testing the water.

“No.” He gasped out through his sobs.

“Alright.” Remus held his hands up in surrender. Touch grounded him faster than anything, but, Remus realized, they were past that and into sensory input of any kind was too much. “I need you to take a deep breath with me, yeah? In. Out.” Remus tried to get him to even out his breathing, but he couldn’t seem to get it, hyperventilating. Remus could tell by the wild, unfocused look in the other man’s eyes that he was in full panic. “Sirius, you need to breath with me. Or you’re going to going to pass out. Please, baby, breath for me.” He kept trying, but he could tell Sirius couldn’t hear him over his own panicked breaths. He say the moment the energy left Sirius’ eyes as he passed out and crumpled to the floor.

“Sirius!” Remus gasped, tears rolling down his face. When had he started crying? He lunged forward, trying to pull the bigger man into his lap. “Fuck.” He cussed to himself.

As he sat there, holding his unconscious boyfriend, he finally heard his breathing even out. At least he was breathing somewhat normally again. In the distance he heard the washer spin to a halt. The fucking washer. If Sirius hadn’t been doing well with sensory input, like sounds, that sure as hell hadn’t helped.

“Fuck.” Remus sniffled, mad at himself for letting it get this far and then that and- No. He needed to stop. Spiraling was not going to help Sirius right now. But Remus couldn’t help it.

Not knowing what else to do, he pulled out his phone and dialed Dumo.

***

If anyone asked, he would deny that he was anticipating a call from anyone. Yet, he sat in his recliner, watching a movie with the kids, phone face up on the arm rest next to him. He hoped he conveyed to Remus to let him know if they needed anything. If Sirius needed him.

So, when Remus’ contact popped up on the screen, he answered as fast as he could, getting up from his seat and walking down the hall to get away form the noisy living room. “Remus. Is he okay? What do you need?”

Then he heard Remus sniffle, the silence on the other line deafening. “Help. Please.” Came Remus’ broken sob.

“I’m coming. Just stay with me, oui? What happened?” Dumo grabbed for his keys by the door and shoved on some shoes, heading to his car.

“He- he-” Remus was gasping.

“Remus. Breathe.”

“I- he-”

“Breathe”

“I know.” Remus snapped. “I’m sorry. He- He wouldn’t breathe. Then he passed out. And it’s my fault. And now I’m freaking out and I know that’s not helping but I can’t he just collapsed and fuck.” He rushed to get out, sobbing harder.

“Remus. It’ll be okay.” Dumo tried to keep his voice as even as he could. Sirius, his son, had passed out. Hyperventilated and passed the fuck out. Merde, not again, Dumo thought to himself. That had happened a few times back when he stilled lived with him, but it only happened when something Sirius was really upset. “Alright, Remus, I need you to try and listen to me, oui?”

Remus just breathed heavily, probably trying to stop the tears and focus, remember what he knew.

Dumo took his quieting sobs as a cue to continue. “Alright. Is he okay? Did he hit anything when he passed out?”

“No. Just the carpet, he was already on the floor.” Remus gasped out.

“Good, that’s good. I need you to get him situated so he’s lying down, alright?”

“Mmhmm. Yeah, got that.” Remus sniffled, his training slowly coming back to his foggy, panicked brain.

“Good. He should wake up any moment, just stay with him, I’m almost there.”

**

Remus stayed on the line with Dumo, in silence for a few heart wrenchingly long moments until Sirius’ eyes started to blink open, still filled with panic, and Remus reached out to grab his hand a squeeze. “He- he’s waking up.”

Sirius returned the pressure, eyes darting around and suddenly sitting up. He swayed, bringing his right hand to his head and closing his eyes again, groaning at the dizziness.

“Hey, no, lay back down for me.” Remus said wetly.

“Re- I’m sorry.” Sirius got out, tears falling down his face again.

“Shh, it’s alright baby, don’t cry.”

“But you’re crying. I-”

“It’s okay.” Remus reached out with his free hand to push some stray curls off the other mans head.

Just then, the front door opened and Dumo rushed into the living room the find the upset men.

“Remus.” He placed a steadying hand on the younger man’s shoulder, “Can you run and get a glass of water and a cold washcloth?”

“Yeah, but- ”

“I’ll stay with him, get him moved to the couch. Go.”

All Remus could do is nod. He didn’t want to leave Sirius, but he knew Dumo was trying to het him to take a minute and collect himself, if nothing else to help keep Sirius from freaking out more. He slowly got up and made his way to the main floor bathroom and pulled out a washcloth, running it under the cold tap. He leaned against the cold counter for a few breaths as he heard rustling in the living room, no doubt Dumo helping Sirius lay down on the couch.

He went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, then heading back out to the living room. Dumo was on a knee by Sirius’ head, talking to him softly in French. Sirius had his eyes screwed shut, barely moving his head but nodding along to whatever Dumo was saying to him.

Remus came round the couch, setting the bottle on the side table and passing the damp cloth to Dumo, who gently ran it over Sirius’ face. Remus was still reeling from what happened and couldn’t focus enough to translate what Dumo had been saying but made out Heather’s name. He walked to the other end of the couch by Sirius’ feet and sank to the floor, bringing his knees to his chest and laying his arms across them, resting his head down atop them.

He stayed like that, eyes screwed shut, and took deep, deliberate breaths, trying to calm him hammering heart. He couldn’t help Sirius if he was freaking out too. But watching the man he loved lose consciousness right in front of him was terrifying.

After a few minutes, he felt something nudge his back. Sirius his brain supplied him with. Remus could feel his socked foot resting between his shoulder blades. And then he felt the warmth of Dumo settling down next to him.

“Remus.” His voice sounded far off, and Remus had to focus to catch the rest of what he was saying. “D’accord? What do you need?”

Remus looked up, the soft light in the room from the corner lamp crashed into his vision, and with it, Dumo’s voice, now much clearer.

“Hey, Remus?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” He got out.

Dumo fixed a disbelieving look at the younger man.

“I- fuck.” Remus sniffled. He took a deep breath to steady himself. He looked up past Dumo and saw Sirius propped up on his elbows, sipping from the bottle of water. He took a deep breath, but the tears cam anyway. Remus looked back down and then made to get up, but Dumo just draped and arm around his shoulders, keeping him in place. “My freaking out is not going to help right now. I’m sorry. I can’t- Fuck. I’m sorry.”

Dumo just pulled him into his side, lightly shushing him.

It took a few minutes for Remus to calm down, but before long, he realized Sirius had shifted around and was now sitting cross legged on the couch behind him hand reassuringly on his shoulder. He whispered out another, “I’m sorry,” through the last of his sniffles before looking up.

Dumo dropped his arms from Remus’ shoulders as Sirius shifted to help haul him up next to him on the couch.

Remus had come back to himself enough to notice Sirius had initiated that contact and situated himself firmly next to Sirius on the couch, touching shoulder to knee. It took everything in him not to wrap Sirius up in his arms, even more to stave off the feeling of wanting to be wrapped up by Sirius.

“Would you two like me to stay or leave?” Dumo asked from where he was still seated on the floor.

Remus looked over to Sirius, who was looking uneasy and awkward. Remus guessed he felt bad about wanting to ask Dumo to go. As much a Sirius loved Dumo’s be there, Remus guess the need to be surrounded by as few people and sensory inputs as possible was winning out.

Dumo just nodded and stood to leave, giving Remus a reassuring squeeze of his shoulder as he headed out.

Remus stayed, sitting pressed up to Sirius, for he’s not sure how long before Sirius indicated he wanted to head to bed. They headed up, getting ready around each other with practiced ease, climbing into bed. Remus was carful not to gravitate too close to the middle to give Sirius some space, and was beyond relieved when Sirius laid down right next to him so their bodies were pressed together all along their side.

Remus longed to snuggle up to Sirius but knew that what Sirius needed right now was to let him set the pace.

Remus tried his best for the next day to keep a low profile and give Sirius some space in the large, quiet house. He could tell Sirius was really worn out after the prolonged anxiety attack that had ended in a panic attack, so he made sure Sirius ate and stayed hydrated, got some rest, trying to stay in a routine Sirius could relax into. And he made sure Sirius scheduled an appointment to talk to Heather as soon as he could get in.

Over the next couple days, he could tell Sirius was doing better, if not still a little reserved. By the time practices started back up, he was still a bit quieter than normal, but doing a lot better with sensory things.

Remus knew everything wouldn’t be solved when the symptoms had gone or from one visit with Heather, but he knew it was a step in the right direction, and he hoped that Sirius knew that he would be there through the good days and for the bad ones that were bound to happen. Remus intended to prove that to him, though he suspected Sirius already knew.