#i thought I had completely lost them
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tfone au where OP is created as the last of the primes but way after them, a sparkling born at what were thought to be the last days of the war against the quintessons, the beginning of a new generation of peace after eons of war. a child meant to be loved and raised knowing nothing of war nor sacrifice.
he's kept mostly out of the spotlight by his siblings, who don't wish to expose him to everyone's optics so young, and want to wait until the war is done and over to properly introduce him to their people.
except of course the primes are betrayed and murdered by sentinel, the war is lost and everyone who knows and cared for the truth is either banished or outright killed in order to suppress it.
and the high guard, the ones the primes trusted the most, the ones that were supposed to protect them, the ones who failed in their most important duty, have to make a choice. to take the last prime, their last hope, with them to the surface, a hostile environment where there's little to no supplies and where they'll be hunted down by both sentinel and the quintessons as the biggest threat to their regimen.
or hide him in plain sight. place him where sentinel won't think to look for him. one more sparkling among many. and hope it will be enough to keep him alive. pray to primus that he'll protect his last child long enough for them to come back for him when it's safer (even if most of them have already lost their faith on him when he allowed the rest of his children to be massacred like that)
they almost lose their resolve when they realize they will have to take the little one's cog away in order to make him blend in with the rest of the newborns (and oh do they burn with murderous intent when they see what sentinel has done to their people but it's not the time yet-) but in the end they decide an impaired little prime is better than a dead one.
and so in the chaos of thirteen dead primes and a sudden energon crisis, a little sparkling who very few mechs really knew about and even fewer had seen completely vanishes. and in the depths of iacon a mech in charge of a new batch of newborns scratches their helm in confusion as they realize they must have miscounted the first time.
optimus prime is quietly erased from any official records by sentinel, written off as dead when they find a sparkling's frame mangled beyond recognition after an attack on the base of those rebels that insist on being a thorn on his side. killing the sparkling hadn't been precisely in his plans, he probably could've found some use for it after all, but he's not particularly upset about it either.
and orion pax grows up with an ache on his spark that tells him he's missing something far more important than a t-cog and dreams of gentle and loving hands, cradling him against the frames of mechs he cannot recall the faces of.
#i talk a lot <3#transformers#transformers one#tfone#optimus prime#orion pax#baby prime orion au#this is mostly an excuse for me to draw the primes and baby OP later on. just to be clear.#i WILL be drawing this at some point lmao#tbh i'm a little uncertain how i want things to progress#because on one hand it would be very tasty and tense if sentinel recognized optimus during the race#but that means a lot of changes very early on in the plot and i would have to do a lot of Thinking on how to justify getting the gang#to still pick up bee and elita. cause i love them <3#i do think it'd be very funny if the high guard's plan worked like a charm except for the very tiny fact that they didn't count#on orion being an absolute hellion. like. this kid is Not Going Unnoticed and it's completely his own fault lmao#in this version maybe a member of the high guard stayed behind to keep an eye on orion and is able to get them out before they're killed#but instead of taking them to where the primes fell they take them directly to the high guard#which is very awkward because it's a very moving and emotional moment for the high guard who are finally reunited with their little prime#all grown up and healthy and blessedly *alive*. except orion doesn't fucking remember any of them and is very confused as to why#the legendary warriors of cybertron are getting all weepy over him. they finally explain the truth to him which is a Fucking Bomb#to drop on anyone but especially a group of kids who almost got killed by the person they all thought the world of just hours ago#they also return orion's t-cog to him which would create some tension between him and the rest of the gang because this time#he's the only one getting his cog back. add to it that they were just told he's the equivalent of a demi-god and... well.#there's a gap between him and them that wasn't there before#on the other version of events that follows canon more closely everything goes the same up until the gang finds the primes in the cave#and wake up alpha trion who now not only has to deal with the fact the rest of his siblings are dead but that he missed fifty cycles#of his baby brother's life. that the only sibling he has left does not remember him or his true identity at all.#he has to choose between telling him the truth which has the risk of unbalancing him in a critical moment where he cannot afford to#be distracted because they're being hunted down. or let him remain unaware. let him forget their family and the love they had for him#but letting him remain free of the knowledge of what he lost and the heartbreak it would bring.
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working in a factory has you thinking so much about the insane chain of labor & transport that goes into making literally anything
#like first you realize that You are making & doing things that you previously had thought - if you'd thought abt it at all - were automated#& you become incredibly aware of how all the materials you're working with came from somewhere - these plastic clips are from france; this#fabric is from india etc. and that there are people in factories there making those things and that they are also probably getting their#materials from somewhere#one of the little things that makes me think about this the most is we have these 50m rolls of cotton banding we see onto canvas & nets#and in theory it should be all one piece but sometimes it's actually two pieces which you discover when you get far enough in the roll and#find that there's a join where it's been stitched together by hand (!). which is a little annoying bc we can't use that bit so you have#to cut that but out & stitch it together again on the machine which interrupts what you were sewing before & slows you down But it's so#striking to me bc like it's really easy to look at this banding & it's so exactly the same & obviously machine made it's Really easy to#forget that there are people there running these machines. who notice there's a break & have to stop what they're doing & get a needle &#thread and stitch it together. by hand! like someone somewhere has handled exactly where I'm touching it & i don't even know where in the#world they are!#the other place this happens is often on the selvedge edge of the fabric there's writing in pencil i don't know ye meaning of but evidently#was important to the process somewhere & someone wrote that out#idk like it's really easy to watch those videos of really specific machines in factories & convince yourself that everything is automated#but the truth is the vast majority of stuff is not & is made by people doing that. & even when it is there are people running those machine#<- and i'm not saying this in a soppy way tbc. this whole system is a nightmare of exploitation & to some degree I'm just continually amaze#by how insane this whole process is & also how completely un-transparent it is unless you are made to think abt it#another thing is noticeable when you look at our orders that most of what we sell isn't to customers it's to shops who then sell to custome#which then makes you think like. those plastic clips from france are they actually made in france or are we just buying them from france?#are they actually made by underpaid people in a country the name of which is completely lost to the chain of production at this point#anyways none of this is new it's just when you are working in a factory using this stuff you start wondering like.#what's the factory like that the person who stitched this banding together like. what's their day like there#wish we could talk abt how fucked up this all is - for them especially probably - together#thoughts
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I would like to kindly point out that Mr. bonzo's bachelor party victims were laughing only until they realized he was indeed not a mascot. They laughed yes because they genuinely thought it was a gag, and when they finally realized it's killing them they stopped laughing and started screaming and fear it.
Because it seems we are at war right now (im just joking obviously it's not a war but i found there is two distinct sides for and against sam) about Sam's reaction to Gwen's story. Meanwhile it can totally be a reasonable reaction when someone says your childhood mascot is out there eating people you start laughing hysterically because it is such an obvious prank. Or you start laughing abruptly because something compelled you to, something that hides the fears while they work in the background so people wont catch on it and try to bring down the organization. (mr. bonzo had to get there somehow after all and regardless of how ppl dont care im sure it would have made some good conspiracy theory why there is this crazy creepy and lifelike mascot taking the tram through town unless someone drove him)
But also just the way Sam was trying to prove so hard there is/are some thing/s out there beyond the natural, and when the chance comes he dismisses it without even hearing out completely or trying to get to the bottom of it only to immediately turn around and tell someone else hey you should look into this paranormal thing it might be important. Because trust me, when you are really REALLY trying to prove/believe in something, even the most ridiculous idea grabs you, sometimes especially the most ridiculous ones (when the human brain can't process the supernatural properly it tries to downplay it to something they can grasp like how we have fairy illustrations that originate from bugs - like the iconic sunset dragonfly photos that genuinely look like a fairies)
And i think both sides are valid on their own!
My thoughts up to know are still: Sam is sus something is definitely wrong with him, i am still side eyeing him for his reaction because it was really bad but that proves the point even more that something is not right! And i mean paranormally unright not like "Sam is an asshole for no reason" not right. Also yes there is definitely something if not "protecting" the horrors in the normal sense but something hiding them until the instinct (or fear)takes over ppl to realize what's really going on.
#the magnus protocol#tmagp#tmagp podcast#samama khalid#mr bonzo#fears werent originally in this world but they came over then the timelines crashed#just waiting for the right time to snatch them#desires however made people insane#it's a mixed bag of candy (desires and fears)#i had a thought originally but i couldn't properly word it#and by the time i reached the end of my train of thoughts i lost it completely#they are all blind little mice trying to do their little everyday terrarium life#but the terrors out there are like cheese filled traps
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🗿
#Yuuta literally just had a whole thing about it in the new chapter he didnt even want to do this shit#and I’m sure yuuji would’ve disagreed heavily with this these people always gotta make it about a ship it’s so annoyingsjsjsjs#and sm ppl hate Yuuta now he didn’t even want this sjsjs im so sorry bro#rambling#and ppl were bitching about Shoko’s reaction even tho it’s pretty on brand for how she’d react#they like to act like she doesn’t care at all because it’s so easy to x her out of Gojo’s life because the shippers don’t care too much for#her anyway and it’s easy to forget that she doesn’t matter in their minds#during the fight she started smoking again despite having quit….#and she went through a whole pack of cigarettes during… she didn’t even think that it was possible for Gojo to have lost the way that he#did she completely believed in him because that was her friend#both her and Yuuta are getting shit on so hard bro these people cannot fucking read#jjk spoilers#stsg shippers have the worst comprehension skills….. ever bro#the fact that Gojo had already consented to this in the end is even more sad but they all knew the stakes… I just hate that Shoko and Yuuta#are being heavily shitted on for no reason and making it seem like they didn’t care about him even his other students I’m sure most of them#thought the plan was awful but if it had to be done it had to be done#I’m so sorry Shoko and Yuuta omg
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Someday I will write 90s Amerus fic. That day isn’t now (biggest writing block rn), but someday. Many of the 90s fics in the English fandom are too incorrect in my opinion when it comes to historical contexts — and I know why, but it is 😄 grating
#russian and american/western perspectives are divided on the 90s#and my sources are russian bc duh theyre also the biggest losers in the 90s. so ofc I study them#i find western perspectives abt the 90s to be rly underwhelming#which. well. they didnt go thru the pains personally. so maybe#but for vanya it was downright traumatizing ptsd worthy#ptsd mine#many many thoughts abt this#such as: no vanya wasnt SAD per se abt ussr dissolving. he lit had a hand in this via Yeltsin#idk i hate it when vanya is only narrowed down to a communist and nothing else#gorbachev lit adopted democratic-ish measures nearing the fall of ussr#vanya was rather open to the whole idea bruh. he embraced independence as a federation#he wasnt happy kicking giggling abt it but he embraced the change. ussr also feel much less chaotically than the empire (revolution)#so he wasnt just… some proud power hungry commie mourning lost power#didnt say that side is absent completely but it is more nuanced than that yknow#also RF prob thought things would stay the sameish power wise just that it is no longer commie (gross oversimplification just for this post)#but most ppl lack nuance in thinking 😄#kinda giving the vibe of just ‘ussr/russia loser america winner’#not even founded in reality#also Yeltsin was America’s bitch but I can see this isnt a popular opinion in the other side#heyyy Vanya understood what Alfred was doing and was in a way compliant
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afterthoughts
#pokemon rejuvenation#oc bracket#mona#mona's first run#art#this has been sitting in my files since may and ive slowly chipped at it till now. my god.#im like. half happy with it. i enjoyed making it and put a lot of thought. however.#the passage of time. i loathed not finishing this sooner.#god its hard writing mona's dialogue. the main takeaway relies on how they face the After when paragon is complete. this is given that#everyone lives including Ren.#and the general unanswered question if they remain as the interceptor after xenpurgis. or if they're left to live. is the world still#dictated by Karma? who knows! i don't know shit! so their dialogue was made with that in question.#i want to give mona an eventual talking style. i have it in my head but writing it doesn't come out right.#this dialogue was a while ago but somewhat still accurate so i kept it for the most part.#a lot of internal thinking in them. thats smth huge i put down for them. rabbit heart rabbit brain#goes a mile a minute. craves the day where they don't have to worry about running. etc.#i hope to get dialogue down. someday.#anyways. i love the shenanigans i put down here.#the lost camp kids are not the same ones in canon i added new ones for funsies.#and mona's crush is not. rlly shown. but it is present. i like to think the obvious point for them crushing isn't rlly nervousness#but loosening up a lot more. especially facial expressions.#and renmona goes out on a shopping trip. i hope i added character to make mona unique... im v worried about that. enough of that though#anyways. had many breakdowns. suffered many art blocks. bon appetite.
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The turn Lavos gets trolled in the 2019 Smogon classic tournament recreated with the text from the resulting forum post
#competitive pokemon#smogon#“Unfortunate” doesn't begin to describe my series#this game rewards blind luck and nothing else#I am beyond convinced at this point. After getting completely tooled by scheduling with my opponent changing times on me last minute and re#losing this way somehow felt even worse than I had thought possible. My preparation was superior#my play was superior#and I lost#so I don't see a reason to continue engaging in an activity where what is within my control is overwhelmingly outweighed by what is not.#I am done with competitive Pokemon#and you won't get a fond farewell. This community is infected to its roots with a degenerative disease that grows stronger over time but st#this has been transplanted and replaced with an artificial organ that feeds on vitriol and mockery from insecure little boys that heckle by#and escaping it requires acceptance of the harshest reality we all scramble to explain away#that none of the countless straining efforts we put ourselves through here will ever amount to one single shining glimmer of significance.#but World Cup is still ongoing#and I would never leave so many great friends out to dry#so I'll suffer through a few more games for them.#One last thing before I leave you all to react with disdain#ridicule#and self-righteous fervor#before you do everything in your power to minimize my words and thoughts#box them up and shove them to some cobwebbed corner of your memory#and hope they disappear forever as a stain on your finite time ground to dust. From this moment on#nothing you say matters to me. The foulest insults you hurl with intent to wound will calmly settle at the earth before my feet#and the venom you spit will bring all the pain of a warm summer breeze. You are less than anything you can conceive#while I carry on#brimming with joy distilled from detachment.
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something about being told im 'the leading person at this whole academy when it comes to interpretation and stage intelligence' by the husband of the woman im trying (not really. but i mean. who knows) to seduce... ok boy you got me. lets make it a polycule.
#im playing it all cool and funny now but atm i legit burst into tears lol#like he said i have a 'good voice too of course' but i know realistically that is not my strongest asset#and even if i were technically perfect. which im NOT lol. the voice itself is just nothing special. it's there ig but that's about it#but its nice to know i may not be 100% useless after all#(just 90%)#also apparently the most feared and respected professor who came to the concert said. again. that he likes me the most.#which again. crying real actual tears about this all rn this means literally the world to me this is everything i have#and i have no one to share this with because im not gonna say it to my uni friend cause i dont want her to feel like im boasting or sth#(even tho she has no such qualms herself but probably because i know how. not great. it feels when someone keeps talking about themselves#and about how great they are and how easy everything is for them. i dont wanna do it back at her.#well there's also the fact that i dont think im great and this is not fucking easy to me at all lol#but idk i think the difference between us is that she actually admitted she sees no point in singing if she cant show off (thus she hates#the duet we're singing because she sings the lower part and cant show off her high notes or coloratura.#which is like. an insane take to me. i mean it i get it. kinda. if i had a voice like hers maybe id be like that too fuck knows.#but that just feels so. idk. sad to me. so self obsessed and empty. like you dont care about the music itself? about you being a part of it?#also immediately made singing with her not fun anymore. i thought we were creating something TOGETHER. but thanks for the confirmation#that you only really care about being 'better than'. yikes.#like idk this behaviour is funny and iconic in old school opera legends like yes go bite each others dicks off.#but it hits completely different when it's your own colleague let alone your friend. like damn girl. damn)#) anyway. the husband is kinda hot too now that i think of it. i really should seduce them both.#except its realistically not possible since they've both seen me cry now (she saw it like a hundred times lol)#so ive lost the hot and mysterious card alas. no uni professors romance for me
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Hyperfixation so bad I spent two hours on tumblr looking at any post about it while listening to the character's playlist because I got so excited thinking about that I physically couldn't take it
#I thought I had everything under control#then I saw a trans Scott fanart and lost everything#I love being so in hyperfocus. but I hate being so in hyperfocus#I wish I could express everything I'm thinking and having ideas for#but I can't even verbalize it#we have the famous autistic who won't shut up about them hyperfocu#and then we have me who cannot express myself at all about it#2 hours later and I was completely converted to jott#xmen#jean grey#scott summers#scott summers and the irreparable damage he caused to my brain
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the higher-ups (and Yaga) immediately trying to leverage Gojo & Ieri's absence to put Yuuta on the roster??? God that's such a stark moment. Thank god Nanami and Gojo saw through that one immediately, because Yuuta wants to justify his own survival so badly he would've fallen straight into it.
That whole scene, with Yuuta immediately jumping on the opportunity to help people even though something is Extremely Wrong with him and he's on the brink of physical collapse--this boy is selfless to the point of self destruction and I am chewing the drywall about it. I love him so much.
If only he was able to summon his newly found homicidal rage in defense of himself, the higher-ups would no longer be a problem. Alas, this boy is Extremely Unwell.
(Sea Glass Gardens is absolutely incredible and i am obsessed with it in a way that is totally and 100% normal. I'm so normal about it, trust me <3 )
The thing about Yuuta is that he really is prime to be taken advantage of right now and the higher ups know it. They had him try to kill himself for them--they know that there's a window of opportunity that they can use to get him under their thumb and avoid The Problem of Gojo, which is, namely, having a human weapon who you cannot fully control. Gojo nailed it from the beginning: they want a magic gatling gun with no personality or free will. They learned their lesson with Gojo and are trying to rob Yuuta of his agency before he learns how to protect himself.
And Yaga's part in that scene really was meant to kind of emphasize how, even with the best intention's, he just doesn't work to protect the kids. Like. everything he said was technically true, and he meant it with the best of intentions. He's the guy who has to think of everyone's needs. he has to manage this crisis. he's got a lot of people hurt badly who just came out of a war, and a lot of people going into fights with some very aggravated curses spawning without sufficient manpower to address the danger and no healer to save them if they cut it a little too close. He didn't have the intention of manipulating or sacrificing Yuuta, but he was aware that it would come to his detriment and risk.
The issue is the higher ups. They don't give a shit about the people in their workforce. They should be the ones doing whatever it takes to solve this crisis and save their people--and if that means giving up on their machinations? They should have already done it. It's their responsibility.
They just don't care. They want Okkotsu Yuuta under their thumb, and their society hemorrhaging is treated like an opportunity, not a dire problem to be solved. They don't care if half a dozen of their own people need to die to do it. Hell, it's better if they do die--they can put it straight on Okkotsu for not being willing to sacrifice himself, when they should have been making whatever promises they had to in order to make this work.
Gojo's done this before, is the thing. He was Yuuta, a long time ago. Nanami was right there watching it happen. They both know what the higher ups do: They let society get to a crisis level and put all the responsibility on you to save it. they let you maneuver yourself into a vulnerable position as a result, and then they use it as leverage to put their goddamn boot on your neck.
The thing is that Gojo adopting megumi all those years ago really did put them into a crisis state. the zenin pitched the mother of all bitch fits trying to secure his unconditional return, and they were a huge percentage of jujutsu society's labor force and resource pools. instead of the higher ups managing the problem at all, they took advantage of the situation and shoved more and more of its weight and responsibility onto gojo, until he was dropping off his own kid at his abusers' compound thinking it was the only compromise that could resolve things. megumi paid the price for gojo not calling bullshit, and right now, with him in a hospital bed? gojo's less willing to repeat mistakes than ever.
he knows that they're going to use the safety and suffering of everyone else as the leverage against him, and he knows that as terrible as it is, he cannot blink first. He's played this game before, and he knows that the only way to get the higher ups to back off on something like this is to dig in your heels.
I think what happened to Megumi all those years ago and how bad it got before they put a stop to it is something that haunts all three of them. When they first started raising him, they were very young, and they were very broken, and they loved him very, very much. He was their little boy, and he was never the same after the Zenin. They were supposed to protect him, and they didn't, and not a single one of them has forgiven themselves for that.
Megumi was sort of sacrificed for the greater good when he was a kid. None of them thought that that was what they were doing when it happened, but that's what happened. His happiness, safety, and wellbeing were sacrificed to pacify the Zenin and make it easier on everyone else.
Megumi and Tsumiki had to become their non-negotiables after. They had to become the things they refused to compromise on. The Zenin would take miles and miles if you gave them a millimeter, let alone an inch.
Gojo didn't think he was compromising them when he left them on their own to deal with Geto's war. They were disgustingly self-sufficient kids. They had been alone for longer stretches of time when they were practically toddlers--they should have been fine on their own for a couple of weeks.
But they were still his kids, and he still left them alone for everyone else's sake, and now his kid is blind and half dead in a hospital bed. It's like being punched in the face by old mistakes.
So they're off the roster completely, all of them. And they're not compromising an inch on what their focus is, and they're not letting anything happen to any of the other kids in their care.
It's terrible that their coworkers are suffering, but it wouldn't be happening if the Zenin hadn't fucked with Gojo Satoru's kid, of all the goddamn people. It wouldn't be happening if the higher ups would actually do their job and start managing shit.
And if they use Yuuta as an anxiety riddled bandaid on the bullet hole in their society? Then they'd be sacrificing him the way they sacrificed Megumi all those years ago. And they have never been less willing to do that.
I'm so so glad you like the story! Thank you for talking with me!
#i think gojo has such a big emphasis on giving kids the tools to protect themselves because no one ever did that for him or geto#geto snapped under the pressure and was lost to gojo forever#Gojo repeatedly focuses on giving the kids the tools to enjoy their childhood without being hurt#like with yuuji--he doesn't want him to sacrifice his youth and happiness with the others#so he focuses on giving him the strength to protect himself when gojo isn't there#in my mind that's also why gojo was always trying to feed yuuji the fingers#like when i first started the series it seemed kind of weird to me because gojo very obviously didn't want yuuji dead#until i realized that yuuji canonically had a good chance at suppressing sukuna even at 20 fingers as long as he had them spaced out#if yuuji had sukunas power level and had gotten it in increments eventually the higher ups couldnt touch him and hed still be under control#honestly none of the adults are doing well right now#a little under a decade ago the issue with the zenin came to a head and megumi ended up being very small and very hurt in a hospital bed#and they promised him that it would never happen again#now he looks very small and very hurt and he's in a hospital bed and the zenin put him there#as much as he's an angry teenager who hates displays affection he really is their little boy and they adore him#nanami was the one who took him from the zenin the final time all those years ago and he personally promised megumi that he would never eve#go back to that place. he feels like a complete failure right now.#gojo always blamed himself for not digging in his heels and refusing the custody compromise and now he's FURIOUS that this happened under#his nose a second time. i think gojos really interesting in the hero role because he's canonically low empathy and struggles with homicidal#impulses and let me tell you he thought about just killing all the zenin back then and he's REALLY thinking about it right now. there's one#fucking way of making sure this never happens again.#shoko generally feels like shit because this is supposed to be the one thing she can do to help and she /can't/ do it right now to help#megumi. also she privately thinks she had the most opportunity to realize how bad it was with the zenin back then and /didn't/.#she was going through a lot of her own issues back then and the zenin had some kind of believable excuses for why megumi was always banged#up. like. he was already getting into fights at school. its not like the zenin had issues procreating. they said he was picking fights#with other kids and that's where he got hurt. they actually blamed maki more than once. and some bruises here and there is expected for a#kid in combat training even at what was meant to be a very preliminary level. he was supposed to be in like. kiddie karate classes and they#didn't realize the zenin were training him like a fucking marine. it was SO obvious in hindsight and that tortures them.#protecting yuuta right now kind of feels like a chance to get it right the first time and all of them need that now that they feel like the#fucked it up with megumi a second time#sea glass gardens
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Also I feel like I have to say this but FUCK Toy Story 4. Awful movie, bad execution, poor excuse for a sequel.
#they stopped animating several of the toys like TOYS. they completely lost track of what made the first 3 films so charming#which was the fact that woody runs like a puppet and the barbies move like they can’t bend their legs (because they can’t)#and just in general everyone moves awkwardly. they completely fucked it up. bo peep used to move like she was on wheels#why is she now an action girl?? they made her look COMPLETELY different. i think they heard strong female character and assumed#they had to make bo a karate kicking badass. my girl was a badass when she was a solid fucking doll who had basically no movement#in her bottom half#woody would never have abandoned a kid; buzz’s weird psychic inner voice was lazy writing#they utilised the humans WAY too much for my liking. it’s TOY story not story of bonnie’s family#they had the toys break rules near constantly. they didn’t have a good villain#they didn’t use hamm or potato head or jessie or bullseye or rex anywhere near enough#whyyyyyy bring on extra comedy relief characters when YOU HAVE HAMM RIGHT THERE#i feel like the writers didn’t want to bother writing funny sarcasm and wordplay for hamm or just didn’t trust gen alpha kids to understand#it; so they brought in key and peele to do slapstick instead. which is fine but like. the supporting cast literally MADE TS2&3#why are you not utilising them. is it to justify paying the actors less? because they only got a couple of lines each#there was no good villain. the ventriloquist dummies were creepy and had potential and i honestly thought gabby was going to be the next#lotso; but no one had the guts to go through with it#there was no one to hold a candle to sid or al or lotso or even zurg#i honest to god feel like i could’ve written a better movie. i know someone will pop up like ‘but you didn’t!!’#yeah because i’m not getting paid by fucking disney. if you want a screenplay i’ll write one girl#just don’t act like this film was good. it was boring and the writing was lazy#personal
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I've always wanted to wake up from a dream laughing and I just did but I realized after I woke up that I have missed a million social cues :((((((((((((((((( it wasn't even funny idk why I couldn't stop giggling. I dont even giggle irl.
#this also may have been a separate dream#i was in this big aquarium swimming and walking around. it was like. you could swim in a lot of the exhibit and interact with the animals#i had some sort of mission and i also found a baby seal who i picked up and was carrying around as i wandered around#eventually i ended up in this little nook that had one of the adult seals/walrusess? so i let the baby go but the adult was not into it and#i heard someone day something like “aw he still has hope”#theres this kid that works at the aquarium and i tell him to come with me for some reason. its around this time i realize this is some movie#the kids boss is like “next time you leave your post you gotta dive out”#and im worried a bit allready sbout him leavin his post with the adult walrus up there.#then suddenly the glass starts breaking everywhere. like one crack then the whole aquarium starts falling apart#and the kid seems a bit worried.#as were all evacuating i decide that its my fault. because the walrus must have been ramming the glass while the kid wasnt watching.#i remember thinking about how this was a movie or something and feeling really dumv#then yhe dream was over snd there was s recap??? in like drawing form and it showed the main character (me) putting a bomb in the center of#the aquarium in some sort of well or something. so. i guess it really was completely my fault in a different way than i thought#then later im at some sort of party or something and then i leave the party for another party or something? and i feel really bad sn#and socially innept the entire time. the person who i think i reconize we start talking and theyre like the first person whos nice to me#and were talking about following eachother on Instagram? or somth#while their scrolling i see a video eith one of my old friends and shes on the news? the headline is like “me and cathy snd the murder#victim...“ or something. and im like ”hey thats my friend“ and the person just shuts their phone off.#any ways so this person lets me hitch a ride with them back to the original party. they get out of the uber super early but its the right#house and the tell the driver that hes lost and the DRIVER gets out. so im like oh i guess this is their car??#and so they drive up to the drive way and three more people start getting in the car and theyre like putting stuff in the trunk#and talking about where to sit and i just start giggling.#and im still trying to participate like i offer to sit in the middle. theres already someone sitting at the front but he gets out and#everytime someone says anything i start giggling??? and like its sunny and everyone is very attractive in a way that o just found so funny#and then eventually two of then run over to this like panel dash board yhing that on a wall outside and like messing with it opening the#glove box and stuff and i just wake up#and immediately upon waking. well first i was like “teehee. i woke up from giggling” then i thought about it and i was like “oh. i was#take the front seat :(#dream log
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having kara zor-el thoughts today about her getting out of her ship, and she does not yet know what she is doing so years after she was supposed to. she is trying to focus not on what she's lost, but what she still has, and her first thought is "kal can't sleep without a lullaby, i need to find him and sing him to sleep, he must be so scared and alone" because she is scared, she is alone, she wants nothing more than for someone to sing her to sleep, but it will never happen again, and if she amounts to anything now that the future she was supposed to have is gone, she will do it for her little cousin, who will never even know krypton if not for her
but her cousin is not the little baby she used to babysit, he is a grown adult, older than kara is, and she wonders how the people who took care of him got him to sleep without knowing the kryptonian lullabies he was used to (how will she sleep now?), how quickly kal adapted to the lullabies of earth instead (did he forget the sound of his home entirely?), or who she would have to sing to sleep now that kal-el doesn't need her (who can she ever share with? will she forget, too?)
#yes i'm reposting this off my twt so what#anyway you can assume i am always internally screaming about kara zor-el. i have SO many thoughts about her#the fact that she was created as a joke and her creators (also as a joke) had clark put her in an orphanage-#is of course a moment of 'hehe haha look how ridiculous silver age comics were'#but it also unintentionally sets the mood for her entire character because the one person she knew leaving kryptop she could still have#is now forever lost to her and the version of him she meets is someone else. they are isolated from each other#there's of course a lot of exploration of clark's guilt and hope and disappointment and everything else about krypton#but i'm so much more interested in kara's. she left believing she had to keep her home alive on another planet and share it with others#and she arrives to a world completely different. she meets clark and loses her family all over again because he is her family but he isn't#and there have been attempts to explore this isolation but imo they always feel just so quick and kinda cheap#this is something that will always be a problem for them. this will always stand between them because they are essentially two foreigners#to e/o. but they are also family. and it's a sliding scale which side of the equation they fall to on any given day but it will persist#running circles around my room thinking about kara idk#superman#supergirl#supers#kara zor-el#ń txt
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🦾
#blorbo thoughts... ive been so buckypilled for literal weeks (months?) now and idk where its coming from#i havent seen/read a marvel in years and even when i did see some of the movies#_I_ wasnt rly in the fandom it was my friend who always wanted to go see them#but oughhh bucky...... hes so important to me#hes so tragic and like ive been reading all sorts of bucky recovery fics lately#its very nice since theres a hundred thousand billion works on ao3 for him i get to be very picky#but idk how i got so attached???#like i said he was always my favorite but i never thought of him outside of the few hours i was watching a movie hes in lmao#now everyday im like waoww... this song is SO bucky#woahh im having a hard time picking what to eat... i bet bucky had a hard time making decisions after he was free of the brainwashing....#waoww a mask? just like bucky has sometimes.....#im not a marvel head but my friend did make us go see the endgame and every day im astonished at how they fucked it up so incredibly#like??????? first off i cant even think of steve going back to the past and leaving bucky in the present after all that hes lost already#cause it just breaks my heart in the same way end of the hobbit breaks my heart#and second of all what about peggys whole life in the past???? her whole agent carter tv show life???? her fiance????#are we supposed to believe a. steve just decides he gets to unwrite that timeline and marry her and b.#that undoing her whole life in favor of them being together is fair to anyone??? wheres her goddamn agency??????#its just so. but marvel movies are the epitome of undoing character development so idk why im even surprised#its just so incredible how theyre handed this super famous VERY FLEXIBLE beloved thing of MARVEL COMICS#and literal millions of money#and they manage to fuck it up so completely in every single direction#anyway im straying from the topic#i love bucky....... hes in so much pain and he gets to get better at least in my brain#my post#how embarrassing to get a marvel movie blorbo in 2024 but its not like i chose it to happen#i keep wanting to make a bucky playlist but i know itd have like 7 songs and thwn i never listen to it so i havent yet
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Some more Just Desserts pets, and thinking about Candy Mers again (Patreon)
Also ft. the pigeon study I did, what a cute bird!
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Been thinking about the JD pets a lot lately actually I'd really like to make a size chart sometime#But honestly a lot of it was motivated by thinking of a pet to give Cherry Shortcake - a merengue pigeon!#I know I love birds and really enjoy drawing birds but I honestly wasn't expecting to have so much fun and be as pleased as I am haha#What a cute! Love that ♪#She doesn't have a name or an ADS chart yet but she does have the appearance upgrade so she's won at least a couple battles lol#She's a plain no-bean vanilla merengue but Cherry Shortcake opted to make her matching so she's got a cherry ''filling'' on her chest#To mimic bleeding-heart pigeons! It's very cute and highly symbolic lol#She is cute ♪#Then a pet idea I had months ago but never got around to because I lost the inspiration source! D:#I swear I saw a YouTube thumbnail at one point of a very chubby rain frog that looked like a mochi lol but I can't find it ;; I've looked!#But it's still an adorable idea so mochi frog hehe#And then the Candy Mer stuff ♪ I legit forgot I'd called them Candy Mers and not just mercandies at one point lol#Both of the links are related because it's more worldbuilding - the second one is kind of more relevant? But it all is so#I mentioned very briefly about mercandy death at one point but never elaborated because it made me sad haha#Still true but I thought about it a bit more! About the ''natural springs'' part - once a body of water is fully saturated with sugar -#The sugar-breakdown of a mercandy's body changes from a complete breakdown to a partial breakdown - little pieces slough off and float up#Once they fill with air they turn into gummy aquatic life or - ''jelly fish'' hehehehe ♪ Which is how natural fish occur!#Depending on how big a mercandy is before she dies her body may turn into a whole school! The shape and texture is random tho haha
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17 Oct '23
3Arena
Dublin, Republic of Ireland
instagram
Miles during the monkeys gig this pic is from 505 where Alex kept on looking over
He was literally pointing up at the mirrorball at looking up at it for like a solid 10 seconds after come closer
Don’t forget who you are it was so magical (also that turtle plushie behind him 🫠🫠)
Alright crazy things that happened (the ones I can currently recall and in now specific order):
-Nathan dropping his pick and Miles laughing at him
- Liam’s drum kit wasn’t fixed up correctly so his hi hat (I think) like turner 90 degrees and a stage hand had to rush and try and fix it during a song and before the next one miles just jammed out a bit and improvised to give the guy more time to properly fix it
-Miles pointing and looking up at the mirrorball for like solid 10 seconds after come closer
- seeing those chairs and music stands in the back knowing we’re gonna get strings
-after singing the last line of fluorescent adolescent “remember when you used to be a rascal” and then fucking pointing and staring at Miles who was standing to the left side of the stage (which also explains why Alex was suddenly so fond of the left side (also during I wanna be yours I sometimes had to play find Alex cause he was just casually chilling at the very edge of the left stage side like mate at this point just walk down to him )instead of right as usual to jam with Jamie right where the stairs led up to the stage so he was the first one to greet the guys once they went off before the encore and after the show(to smother Alex in a big hug))and watched their set and asking “do you remember?” Before himself answering like 2 seconds latter with “I remember” but like in such a small sad voice that it nearly broke me
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Like here’s the entire performance you can hear and see it at 3:13 (I’ve only got the little I remember snippet cause I was screaming my head off)
- when Alex said “let’s hear it for Miles Kane” (some say he said wonderful after we screamed our throat raw) somewhere three quarters through the set we all exploded before realizing he was just thanking him for opening and then played fluorescent adolescent where at the end (check point above) he asked miles if he remembered when he used to be a rascal (and like the fact that Miles was in the band the rascal and Alex wrote Fluorescent with his ex Johanna Bennett around the time when him and Miles started becoming close friends)
- during body paint not Alex singing “and if you’re thinking of me I’m probably thinking of you” while adamantly pointing towards Miles
- I didn’t think it possible to get I wanna be yours x star treatment cause they did it the night before In Belfast but when that little shit said “I don’t wanna be hers I wanna be yours” I certainly lost my shit
-experiencing 505 with the mirrorball and strings
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I wanna be yours x star treatment
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Body paint
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There’d better be a mirrorball
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Why’d you only call me when you’re high
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Teddy picker ; Alex said teddy is back before the song 🫶🏽🫶🏽🥹
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Coup de grace
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Never taking me alive
Body paint
instagram
https://www.instagram.com/p/CyjKMnhtgj_/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Blurry Miles in Dublin
#17/10/2023#my show 🫠🫠🥹#Dublin#night two#the crowd was so unbelievably loud but literally nobody but me was jumping around#but the mood was amazing#but I loved that; maybe it’s just cause the tours been going on for so long or it’s Ireland but there was a minimal noise difference betwee#the AM and the car/TBHC songs and that made me so happy#when Alex said let’s hear it for miles Kane in the middle of the set we all collective lost our minds cause we’re delusional but he was jus#thanking him for opening for them#also like whatever had been the problem with his in ears during the EU tour leg they seemingly fixed it cause he wore them for like 80%#Youtube#before the Ireland gigs I thought I was gonna combust if we get a pic of Alex listening from side stage#instead we got pics of miles sitting in the audience of night one and standing to the left of the stage on night two#I’ve never seen a crowd this hyped up; excited about an opener#so happy for miles he deserves to play venues this size on his own#he just seemed so grateful and happy/relieved that we all knew his songs and were vibing and that even the seats were completely ful for hi#Instagram#love that in the pic of Miles from the seats we can see that literally no one is paying him attention but everyone’s focused on the monkey
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