#this doesn't even include the patreon exclusives

[versionsofourselves]

I know we're all loving the new Mullet Messer era. But please, keep some love for Messers past. Let's not forget how incredible this was.

Photos by Austin Macedo

[dduane]

Ma’am Im in the final third of writing my first draft for my novel (just passed 70k words!) do you have any advice about book marketing or self publishing? Ive been looking at something called Royal Road also in regards to those two things but no on I know has even heard of it…

First of all: congrats on your 70K!

"Do I have advice about marketing or self-publishing?" Wow, probably way too much, at this point. But for the moment let's limit ourselves to specifics. :)

I hadn't heard of Royal Road either, so I went and did some poking around. Below is an article that deals with some basic questions about them.

(Adding a cut here, because this gets long...)

Having read this article, I went and had a look at Royal Road's ToS, and their fee structures.

The fees were the first thing that gave me pause. Specifically, this; while RR has free options for readers, they don't appear to have any free options for writers. (If I'm wrong about this, I invite anyone with a pertinent link to point me at it.)

Now, the rule in writing as regards money is this: "The money flows toward the writer." This rule was codified years back by writer Jim McDonald and called Yog's Law (and over here at John Scalzi's blog there's a discussion of the Law and what it involves in these self-publishing days). It means that any kind of professional writing or writing-for-pay that involves the writer paying someone else to get their work where people can read it must routinely be carefully examined. You, after all, as the writer, are the source of the product and of the value in the product. If you're paying anybody to help get your writing seen, you need to look carefully at who controls whatever you're paying for along the road to being published.

So: if you use RR, you're paying them to show your work to people. (It seems a bit like AO3, except RR charges you for publishing with them.) Their ToS emphasizes that you own your work, but if you use them to publish, "...you grant Royal Road a non-exclusive, worldwide, sub-licensable, revocable license to use, display, promote, edit, reformat, reproduce, publish, distribute, store, and sub-license Your Content on the Services. This allows us to provide the Services, and to promote Your Content or Royal Road in general, in any formats and through any channels, including any third-party website or advertising medium."

Okay. So how, though, do you get paid for publishing on this site?

RR simply says that you're allowed to link your work to your Patreon or your PayPal account, and can accept donations that way.

Well, that's nice. But it doesn't strike me as much in the way of a payday. (Especially after what Patreon takes off its subscribers' earnings these days.)

What people are seeing this work?

Just Royal Road members, as far as I can tell.

And how many of those are there?

...I'm finding it surprisingly difficult to quickly determine that with any certainty. There are numerous sites that talk about millions of pageviews (assuming that's what "M" means these days): but views are not users.

And what is feedback worth, from that readership? ...Also hard to say.

This equation has way too many imponderables in it for my liking.

There are a number of articles scattered around that discuss numerous webpublishing options and which seem preferable. (This one seems to rank RR highest.)

...If I'm starting to sound unenthusiastic about this whole prospect, I think that perception would be correct. From where I'm sitting, RR looks to me kinda like paying for feedback... and from what might be a fairly small, and at the very least, limited, pool of contributors. I'm not at all sure how this experience would be likely to do anything much but help you feel better about yourself as a writer. Which, well, sure, that's nice. But is it value for your money?

More: how does what you get from RR actually help you transit into the wholly different experience of getting your work edited, getting a cover for your first novel(s), and learning about marketing out in the broader marketplace? That's unclear to me.

(I have to add one thing here as a general caveat. I'm in the Really Annoying Congestion stage of a head cold at the moment, and as a result my view of everything today is significantly jaundiced. But I also have to say that I doubt this particular assessment is going to change much after my nose stops running.)

So. If I was in your position, I'd be tempted to give the RR concept a miss and start inquiring into how best to use actual online publication resources that feed into a system where to get your work at all, people give you money.... because Writers Gotta Eat. (And yes, there's a whole self-publishing strategy that runs on the Nickel Bag paradigm: make sample work free online—sometimes through a retailer like the 'Zon—and then have all the samples "point at" work that people have to pay for. But that's another discussion.)

Anyway: hope this has been of some general help!

[getvalentined]

The Big Patreon Breakdown

Okay, Patreon's Discord Q&A ended on the 16th, and I've been waiting to see if anything else happened—like maybe a a public announcement from Patreon instead of emails sent exclusively to creators and a video hidden on the CEO's personal YT page—but nothing has happened, so I'm gonna do a breakdown of what we're looking at.

This is an EXTREMELY long post. I am not putting it behind a cut. I'm not sorry.

Short attention span version here.

—

I. The iOS processing fees are a smokescreen covering up the actual devastating changes that Patreon is forcing creators into.

The iOS fees are trash, 30 percent is extortion and we all know it—but that's not the biggest issue at hand here. Patreon is using this event as an excuse to change the entire structure of the creator side of their platform, and blaming Apple to avoid getting backlash.

They tripled their platform and processing fees in 2017, passing it on to patrons without notice, and the subsequent hemorrhage of paying users forced them to walk it back. They tried to force everyone onto their rolling billing model in 2021, and the entire community pushed back so hard they were forced again to walk it back.

This time, they're doing both and insisting it's Apple's fault, and everyone is taking that at face value because Apple sucks. And Apple does suck, but Patreon is getting what they've wanted for years by catering to Apple.

Oh, also, they're forcing creators to notify their patrons of the billing model changes (with a suggested template that explicitly refers to it as a decision made by the creator, even though nobody is making any decisions here except Jack Conte) rather than doing it themselves.

II. Patreon is not going to change course for any reason. This is set in stone.

There are multiple proofs for this, including but not limited to:

One-on-one calls between the platform's top earners and the CEO, Jack Conte, wherein the vibe was apparently not "What can we do to support your business in order to retain your place on our platform?" but rather "We know that the only way this works is if we don't do it, but how can we keep you from complaining about it any more than you already have?" One creator explained in granular detail how they run their business through this platform and why changing their billing model would ruin literally everything, and Conte responded with "Is this an essential part of your offering?"

The Patreon Team on Discord has continued to shut down all discussion of alternative options with assertions that Apple won't allow it, even if those alternatives were suggested based on legal precedent set by lawsuits against Apple, and the declaration that they will not be allowing the app to be removed from the App Store no matter what because it's the single most important and integral avenue of creator growth on the platform. (Put a pin in that.)

The platform's top earner is on the pay-per-creation billing model, the one that is going to be hit the hardest; creators on this model stand to lose literally 90 percent of their income overnight. This creator and his team were as blindsided as the rest of us, and they've been offered no assistance except for a complex math equation to try to calculate how much they should be charging people on fixed-price tiers, and no assurance except "the iOS app is the platform's highest source of engagement and is necessary to help you continue to grow."

Pay-upfront (PUF) and pay-per-creation (PPC) billing is going away for new accounts and anyone who doesn't opt out via Patreon's convoluted backend before November 1 of this year, and anyone who doesn't manually switch over to their rolling billing cycle will be automatically pushed into it on November 1, 2025. This means that PUF creators no longer have the promise of a steady paycheck when they need it, early enough in the month to pay rent and bills, while PPC creators are losing their entire business model all at once, which has resulted in a loss of 75 to 90 percent of income for multiple PPC creators who have tried to switch to the rolling billing structure in the past. They are killing these people's livelihoods and they know it, they have seen the data to prove it, but they will not be swayed.

III. Patreon claims the iOS app is the highest source of engagement on the platform at 40 percent—but will not define what "engagement" means, and staff refuse to share detailed analytics or data on the revenue share coming from the app.

Several creators, some with a couple dozen patrons and some with thousands, polled their audience to get a feel for how many of them used the app. Consistently across every creative industry, genre, and form of media, the answer was 2 percent or less. The average across a dozen-plus polls of actual active patrons, numbering into the thousands, is that around 85 percent of patrons access the platform exclusively via the web, whether on desktop or mobile. The majority didn't even know there was an app.

Further, Patreon would not explain what "engagement" means, but did not deny the possibility that dismissing an app notification on your phone counts as an "engagement."

When Patreon was asked for data on how often people pledged to support a creator via the iOS app, the only response was the claim that information is "sensitive to [Patreon's] business" and can't be shared. In a creator-exclusive server. With the people who bring that revenue onto the platform in the first place. And have our own analytics that we can look at individually, which show an average of 0 to 0.5 percent revenue from the iOS app.

IV. Patreon does not have a refund policy in place to work with Apple, and has given no implications of intention to work with Apple to shorten the time it takes for funds from iOS purchases to be paid out to creators, which is currently 75 days.

Yes, you read that correctly: at the moment, it takes 75 days before creators can cash out funds processed via iOS. On top of that, Apple's refund policy is 60 days, and the creator is not involved in the process whatsoever—if a malicious actor pledges to your page, downloads all your work over the course of a month, and then pings Apple for a refund? Apple gets to decide whether or not they get that refund.

Patreon's general refund policy is that it's up to the creator 99.9 percent of the time, with very rare cases of fraud requiring Patreon's intervention. In the case of pledges and Commerce sales via iOS, the creator has no say, and Patreon currently has no policy to protect them. They've stated that they're working on a refund policy that will work with Apple's guidelines to keep everyone happy, but at this point we all know what that means—they're just going to use Apple's refund policy.

They also wouldn't say whether or not creators would be on the hook for Apple's added processing fees, as is usually the case with other big payment processors, but it sounds like we are! So if someone pays $14.50 on the iOS app, the creator gets $10, can't pay it out, and then the malicious actor can call for a refund weeks later and the creator will owe $14.50—in spite of only ever having seen $10 and never being able to pay it out because the 75 hold hadn't passed. Sounds great!

V. Patreon's own graphics meant to explain why this is necessary and how the new fees work are not correct.

I'm gonna let these mostly speak for themselves:

The sale price listed on this graphic is $10, but adding together the three fees listed gives a total of $11.35. This is likely a copying error, as 4.35 is clearly not 30% of 10, but the lack of attention to detail on one of the only two pieces of official material that we have which refer directly to the numbers on which Patreon is signing away our livelihoods is slightly concerning.

This one totals up to 103 percent! (Actually closer to 104, since I rounded Android and Mobile down by about a quarter percent each.) The 40 percent figure on the iOS bar is based on the figure given to us by Patreon staff, and was used to place the markers to denote individual percentages on the other three.

Patreon made these and gave them to us with the assertion that they were proof that the iOS app is indispensable—why should we trust anything they say about numbers if the charts they gave us are literally impossible?

VI. Patreon refuses to offer any promises to 18+ creators that they will not be removed from the app in order to adhere to Apple's content guidelines.

Instead, Patreon staff's response to this request for reassurance is "We have no plans to remove 18+ creators from the Patreon app." You may note that's phrased very specifically, and leaves a hole big enough to drive a freight train full of iPhones straight through. They have no plans to remove 18+ creators from the app. When asked for clarification on this, confirmation that they would not be removing us from the platform if Apple pushed them to do so regardless of whether or not they have plans, this sentiment was simply repeated in more words and with more apologies, along with a reminder that Patreon has had to change their terms for 18+ creators several times already in order to keep up with laws and competition.

VII. All the features Patreon is insisting are integral for creator growth are inaccessible to 18+ creators, and questions about this were either dismissed, redirected, or ignored.

Remember how the iOS app is the single most important and integral avenue for character growth on the platform? Well, 18+ creators are not discoverable on the platform, regardless of the avenue of access. We are not visible on the app unless you have it installed, are logged in, are already following us on the platform, and click an external link to be directed to our pages from somewhere else via a mobile web browser. There is no way to find us on the platform itself.

Other features that staff insist are necessary for growth to which 18+ creators do not have access:

Patreon creator search (on web, Android and iOS apps)

Mass post editing (now called the "Library," which reads as "Something Went Wrong" for me and other 18+ creators who tried to get to it)

On-platform video hosting

Built-in cross-creator recommendations

All on-platform "commerce" features (both digital and physical goods)

The ability to market ourselves by linking to Patreon from our social media and vice-versa (we're basically not allowed to do this or risk being banned)

Yeah, about that first and that last point. We're hidden from searches on the platform, and we can't link to our pages from social media or risk permanent suspension. We cannot grow in this fashion at all, and in fact 18+ creators are getting all the downsides of this switch (except maybe for the app fee, since you can't fucking find us to pledge on the app) with none of the benefits. Nothing they are doing here will help us grow, because they've kneecapped us already. Now they're going after our capacity to obtain a steady paycheck at the beginning of the month, too.

VIII. Patreon's iOS app is currently (as of August 18, 2024) in violation of Apple's guidelines for app ratings; staff did not state any intention to become compliant by raising the app's rating as needed to maintain their 18+ creator community.

The App Store guidelines on creator apps state that they must be rated equal to the highest rated creator content on their platform. In spite of hosting 18+ content, which requires a 17+ rating per Apple, Patreon is rated 12+ in the App Store. Increasing the rating to 17+ would cut out the entire market of wealthy teenagers with iPhones, and since everything else being done here is intended to please Apple, it's unlikely this will be the point that Patreon finally gives an inch for its creators. The exact response from staff on this was "We hear and acknowledge your inputs on the app rating and are exploring our options there." Their "options" on this are to increase the rating, or to remove all 18+ content from the platform. That's it. Those are their options. Why do those need exploring, if they really give a shit about the 18+ community?

I know a lot of people out there are going to say that it would be nice if Patreon would "get rid of the porn," but you need to understand something: 18+ content is not all sexual.

18+ content can and does also include:

Horror (particularly body horror, which is explicitly or implicitly banned on all current adult-specific creator platforms, leaving me nowhere to go when Patreon kicks me)

True crime (murder, violence, theft, etc., is all 18+)

Health (blood/discussion of blood is 18+ regardless of context)

Education (what if you learn about war? that's 18+)

Trauma recovery (the word "r#pe" makes everything around it 18+)

Profanity (ko-fi marks creators 18+ for saying "fuck")

Languages (because you might learn profanity)

Weaponsmithing (because weapons are dangerous)

Leatherworking (because leather can be a fetish)

Shoemaking (feet can also be a fetish)

...even more I'm not bothering to list here.

Implying that they somehow didn't know about this extremely important part of the guidelines—which are being used as an excuse to force the top earner on the platform to ruin his entire business model—is absolute nonsense. Patreon knows about this requirement, they haven't taken any steps to comply based on their current creator population, and I will be shocked if they do. Much easier to just kick us all off, since we can barely use the damn platform as it is.

—

The entire thing makes no sense. Patreon is losing out on so much money by doing this—they're crippling all their highest-earning creators to keep the iOS app running, and it's going to hurt everyone except for Apple. The only reason I can think that they would refuse to budge on this is that there's something else going on behind the scenes between Patreon and Apple. That, or the company is intentionally throwing itself into an extremely drawn out death spiral. But we all know which of those is the more likely scenario here.

[back2bluesidex]

Welcome To My Favorite Place ✨

Hello, this is Nika. Welcome to my masterlist.

Here you will find the byproducts of my sleepless nights and wild imaginations.

Most of my stories are for mature audience. Hence, if you are a minor, you need to stay away from my blog. Some stories may have triggering concepts, please proceed upon reading the warnings carefully.

Hope you have a good reading. 💕

Check out my membership exclusive masterlist for stories that I post only on Patreon.

Themes:

Angst - 💔, Fluff - 💖, Smut - 💋

KNJ

Series/Drabble-series/Twoshots

None yet.

Oneshots

Next level, space level 💋💔

Summary: How can Namjoon deny you when you are ready to give yourself to him?

2. Forbidden 💋

Summary: You know it's forbidden but you don't care, not when your professor is more than ready to ruin you.

3. Bus Ride 💋💖

Summary: Namjoon has a massive crush on his coworker and it takes all his self control to survive a bus-ride with her.

4. Seven Minutes 💔

Summary: Namjoon goes around the world in a day in just seven minutes.

Drabbles

Idol!Namjoon X Author!Reader (Meet cute)

Lover - (Fluff)

Enchanted - (Angst with happy ending)

KSJ

Series/Drabble-series/Twoshots

Taste of a Poison [Twoshot] 💔💋

Summary: Relationship with Seokjin is as toxic as it is addictive.

Part 1 , Part 2 [Discontinued]

Oneshots

Wanna be yours 💖💋

Summary: A peaceful, dreamless sleep is all you wanted after a long and boring office party but life has different plans and that plan includes the CEO of your company.

2. 20 Years Late 💔💖

Summary: Seokjin could count on his fingers the things that haven't changed within these 20 years of his life, and one of those is you..

Drabbles

By the Sea - (fluff)

You Belong with Me - (Fluff)

Broken Heart Over Whiskey Glass - (Angst)

Meanie - (Smut)

MYG

Series/Drabble-series/Twoshots

1. Slide 💔💋

Summary: 

"I can see the pain in your eyes I don't wanna say that I'm God, but I'll take you to heaven if you die"  

Alternatively, 

You would go back in time and fall in love with Yoongi over and over and over again even after knowing that he would never once be yours in any of the timeline.

Oneshots

Call Me Oppa 💋💖

Summary: Yoongi has a weird kink... Maybe you'll find it out soon enough.

2. Haegeum 💋

Summary: Banning Yoongi from your bar has its own consequences.

3. Spotlight 💔💖

Summary: No matter how much you run away from Yoongi, Yoongi always comes right back to you.

4. Give Me A Taste 💋

Summary: Yoongi is down bad for you, he has been missing your taste crazily. Thanks to unexpected turns of events and a cancelled show, he can finally satiate his hunger for you.

5. One of the Girls 💋

Summary: Min Yoongi has been threatening your father. But that's not the problem. The problem is that you wanna get fucked by him.

Drabbles

Best friend!Yoongi X Fem!Reader (Angst)

Delicate - (Implied SMUT, Fluff)

Great War - (Angst)

Girl Crush - (Angst)

JHS

Series/Drabble-series/Twoshots

I Fell First but He Fell Harder [Series](Completed) 💔💖💋

Summary: You have been with Him since the beginning. To you he was the only person that existed in the world, in your world. But to him, you are another pair of hands that clapped after each of his performance. Will it change when you secure a job in his dancing academy?

2. Broken Glock [Series] (Completed) 💔💖💋

Summary: Hoseok is cold hearted, that's what everyone says. He is made of stone, no emotion runs through his veins, everyone believes it. Everyone but you. Because you have seen concern in his eyes and felt warmth in his touches. You have seen the real him, someone he doesn't acknowledge to be. And that's what has made you fall for him even though you believe you are nothing but a paid employee to him. But the reality is different. You're the only one that makes Hoseok a sane human being, he loves you with all of his heart, so much so that now he has started pushing you away from him to keep you protected from any harm. But will you two survive without each other? What if you can't? And what if you won't?

3. Dear Darling [Mini Series] 💔💋

Summary: After his bride flees from his clutches and reaches the realm of mortals to reunite with her lover - Hoseok has no choice but to chase her. Upon his arrival to the land of obnoxious humans, he crosses paths with you. You are a small, driven mortal who walks with a load of despair on her back. You are nothing but a delicious meal to him and he wants nothing more than to suck your life out of you, find his runaway wife and return to his kingdom. But much to his dismay, you ruin his plans, make him do what he never imagined doing in 600 years of his life - like making him fall in love and keeping him bound to you.

Oneshots

1. Attention 💋

Summary: A very jealous Hoseok fucks you into oblivion.

2. Fleeting [Birthday special] 💔💋

Summary: It's his birthday and you got a surprise for him but maybe not of the good kind.

3. Let's get engaged [Enlistment Special] 💖

Summary: Hoseok is enlisting but he has some pending works to complete beforehand.

4. Not Jealous 💋

Summary: You know Hoseok is sulking and you know how to cheer him up.

5. Cold war 💔💋

Summary: In which Hoseok fucks you for all the time he has lost due to his own mistakes.

6. Soju Bomb 💋

Summary: Hoseok doesn't like soju usually, but he discovers he likes the taste when the drink is spilled on your body.

7. Fool's Gold 💔

Summary: Falling for Jung Hoseok is... Fool's Gold.

8. Not a Dream 💔💖 (Please don't read it. It's my very first fic and it's very cringe! I, myself, don't like it.)

Summary: She thinks she is not good enough for him. She thinks she has nothing to offer. But she doesn't know she is all he wants. But why?

9. Your Lips, My Lips - Apocalypse 💔💋

Summary: You are lonelier than anyone he has ever witnessed. Your loneliness comes with an intensity that matches his, maybe that’s why he is so attracted to you? Maybe that’s why he wants to give you his final moments of existence?

10. Heeled Boots 💋

Summary: A little something about Hoseok's heeled boots from MAMA 2022.

Drabbles

Teardrops - (Angst with an open ending)

Afterglow - (Angst with happy ending) [A Girl Crush followup drabble]

PJM

Series/Drabble-series/Twoshots

Lightning [Mini-Series] 💋💖

Summary: You don't understand why you find Park Jimin everywhere you go. Also, why his eyes stay only on you.

1.1 Like Crazy - A lightning sequel 💋💖

Summary: Jimin wants to make you his and he will get in done tonight.

2. Oh So Reluctant [Twoshot] 💔💋💖

Summary: For the past eleven months that you have been married to Park Jimin, he has not looked at you the way he has been doing today. And there is sinister in his eyes.

Part 1, Part 2

Oneshots

1. 25 and Virgin 💋

Summary: You are 25 and virgin but maybe your crush slash senior Park Jimin can change that tonight.

Drabbles

Wildest Dreams - (Angst)

Cruel Summer - (Fluff)

KTH

Series/Drabble-series/Twoshots

None Yet

Oneshots

Baggage 💔

Summary: After six months of parting your ways from each other, Taehyung receives your handwritten letter. An unexpected one.

2. Like a Brother 💋

Summary: Taehyung has always been someone out of your league. Honestly, he isn't even your type. But that doesn't mean you haven't felt weak at times.

Drabbles

Rainy Day [A Baggage Drabble] 💔

Snow on the Beach - (Fluff)

JJK

Series/Drabble-series/Twoshots

Trouble [Twoshot] 💋

Summary: It's not that you don't like your hot rommmate, you just choose to stay away.

1.1. Trouble 2 💋

Summary: It's not that you don't like your hot rommmate, you just choose to stay away.

2. Novice 💋💖

Summary: The need of some extra money lands on you a weird job. But you are not complaining, not when you get to fuck Jeon Jungkook.

2.1. We Need Practice 💋💖

Summary: Jungkook wants you to ride him and you are too bad at that.

Oneshots

1. Desire 💋

Summary: Jungkook hates you, you hate Jungkook but sometimes desire is more important than hatred.

2. Monitoring Duty 💖

Summary: You are tasked with monitoring Jungkook's weverse live tonight, which starts with you trying to shove ramyeon down your throat and ends with Jungkook confessing that he likes you too.

3. Seven Days a Week 💋

Summary: Jungkook promised himself that he will be fucking you right seven days a week.

4. Bad Idea 💋

Summary: Accepting Jungkook's invitation to watch him train topless was such a bad idea.

5. In Motion 💋

Summary: You are finally letting Jungkook set everything in motion. And he is more than happy to show you what he has to offer.

6. Standing Next to You 💋💔💖

Summary: Your and Jungkook's relationship is all about dark rooms, shadows, rendezvous and secrecy. It pains you to even think that you can't claim him as yours in front of the world. But Jungkook is always there to set your fears free because he loves you even more than you love him.

7. Closer To You 💔💋

Summary: You know that you and Jeongguk are completely different individuals from every possible aspect, and there is no future of this relationship but you can’t push him away, not when he only wants to come closer to you.

8. Darling, can I be your favorite? 💋

Summary: Your close friend bagged a hot boyfriend. And that said boyfriend is more interested in you than her.

9. Gin and Tonic (ft. Kim Mingyu) 💋

Summary: If Jungkook is pungent as Gin then you need Mingyu as Tonic water to soothe your throat.

Drabbles

Idol!Jungkook X Reader (Establish relationship, fluff)

The Way I Loved You - (Angst with happy ending)

Gorgeous - (SMUT)

Tolerate it - (Angst)

Return the Favor - (SMUT)

Fortnight - (Fluff)

OT7/Multiple Members

Series/Drabble-series/Twoshots

Where Do Broken Hearts Go? - ft. JJK & JHS 💔💋💖 [Series] (completed)

Summary: Jungkook stripped your emotions naked, left you bare in the chilly wind of despair and self-doubt with an unending heartache. You tried your hardest to move on from him, to live for yourself but failed miserably. Each night you had to come back to your empty home where memories and broken dreams were scattered all around the floor, until one day a little angel and her unbelievably beautiful father came into your life. Finally, when you find yourself healing, maybe falling too, Jungkook had to show up! Again!

2. Hard Luck - ft. JJK & KTH 💖💋 [Series]

Summary: You have a good face, a nice body, a fat amount saved in your secondary bank account, a stable job that you love, loving friends and family, you are good in bed. You have almost everything other than a good luck in love. Sleeping around with random dudes don’t feel enough when your friends are getting married and having kids. If you are being honest, you have started getting bored of this prolonged singlehood already.  Your last light of hope fades away when your work crush, aka the hot guy from the legal department, Kim Taehyung (with whom you might or might not have slept once, okay! twice!), asks you to set him up with your work best friend (who, apparently, is the most asked out woman of the company). But what you don’t know is that the CEO of the company has taken a liking to you and has set out on a mission of winning your heart.  But wait… Taehyung might have started developing feelings for you in the process of receiving your help!!!

Oneshots

1. Best Fucking Friends - JHS & PJM 💋

Summary: Guess, your dumbass ex-boyfriend did the right thing for once by dumping you. Your best friends are more than happy to fuck you into oblivion.

2. The More, The Merrier- KTH & JJK 💋

Summary: Taehyung should definitely feel angry or at least disappointed seeing you already trying to sleep with someone else, that too, his best friend. However, what he feels is insanely turned on.

Drabbles

Happily Ever After - KNJ & JHS (Angst)

*Disclaimer: All the pictures are taken from internet and pinterest (ktvjeon). I don't own the edits.

[kriskukko]

i hope u dont mind that i would respond to u like this @polar-night-scout, but trying to fit this into the replies section was a pain lmfao (i already accidentally hit enter once and scrambled like a lil idiot)

the thought is basically the desperate urge ive had for years of just releasing some statement of 'lol its all in public domain now go nuts' because my relationship with my art specifically is that it exists to be enjoyed and transformed and taken from and built upon in whatever manner (this includes commercially). whether am being credited in this doesn't matter, but id like to know about it just for the fact maybe what u made is something i will enjoy in turn and even give u money for so u make more!

the only reason ive not done that as of yet is the conflicting thought in the back of my head going ‘ but will it bite me in the arse if I wanna quit my job and grab my dream of fulltime artist tm some day???’. my instinct says ‘no, it won’t’, for my art is rather niche and doing stuff through patreon by exclusive art (that would stay as such) would be the ideal and only route for me in achieving my art dreams, but u know. maybe one day ill get over it.

[sunset-a-story]

Writeblr Intro

Hello, Writeblr. I joined to connect with other writers, especially folks who write/are into LGBTQIA+ sci-fi/fantasy stories. I’d love to connect with writers looking to hype each other up!

Sunset, a serial fiction in three arcs (Sunrise, High Noon, Sunset) is posted weekly. (Patreon members get issues one week earlier plus extras!)

Sunset Vol 1. Sunrise (Posted)

Patreon | AO3 | Wattpad Dramatis Personae page Playlist Audiobook version

Sunset Vol 2. High Noon (Releasing now)

Patreon | AO3 | Wattpad Dramatis Personae page Playlist

Content Warning List

@touloserlautrec is my amazing co-writer and artist behind the Sunset artwork.

When asked to sum up Sunset badly, I usually go with: Telepaths ruin everything.

An actual blurb:

SolCorp was founded to hide the existence of knacked people and their myriad of superhuman powers from the world, keeping humans safe from out-of-control knacks and keeping knacked people safe from human intolerance. So when they discover that one rogue Sol scientist had generated 25 babies with a defective Probability Manipulation knack and abandoned them out in the world fourteen years ago, it's up to SolCorp to find them and bring them back. But maybe their knacks weren't so defective after all because as three of the Venus 25 grow into adulthood, improbable things start happening that will change SolCorp and the world forever.

Sunset is a slow-burn of mounting tension and stakes that only get higher with expansive worldbuilding and a majority LGBTQIA+ ensemble cast that has something for everyone from espionage to adventure to romance and even a dash of monster hunting.

Extras on Patreon include things like exclusive deleted & bonus scenes, Baguette updates, early access to art and fiction, correspondence from LAHQ, and gift packages of merch.

Vol 1: Joey sees the history of everything and everyone he touches as translucent blue ghosts acting out the past all around him. And this includes his own past, which is how Joey knows he wasn't born, he was made. Made and thrown away. What he doesn't know is that the people who made him, SolCorp, are actively working to find him and bring him "home" to be with others that have supernatural knacks like Joey. Neither one has any idea how much that will change them both forever.

Vol 2: And then nothing was the same ever again.

Current Stage of Writing Process:

Sunrise (115k words/250 pages): Posted

High Noon (325k words/717 pages): Releasing now

Sunset: (580k words/1,348 pages so far): Drafting in progress

If you're interested in being on the taglist for Sunset, please let me know in a comment/dm!

Worldbuilding Posts

SolCorp Pharmaceuticals "A pristine pharmaceuticals office park where everything that happens is always in everyone's best interest."

Entropy Games Inc. (our Big Bad) "All games have winners, and all games have losers. Not all game pieces are made of plastic, and the warehouses have seen all of them."

The Church/The Children of God "Sanctuary will be given freely, no questions asked. There is just one edict--Fell the Dogs."

I also offer Alpha/Beta Reading Services!

Details below!

If you're looking for someone to put eyes on your original WIP and offer helpful but gentle feedback, message me!

Why me? I have a degree in Creative Writing. I was gainfully employed as a professional writer for 6 years. I have been published in literary journals and was a founding editor of a literary journal that I helped run for years. I have a 1,800+ page serial, and I just plain love stories. As far as pricing, I charge a $40 flat rate for pieces under 10K words and $0.004 USD per word for pieces over that.

[simmir99]

Holiday Weekend in Sulani! Pictured: Kristina, Jay, Fallon, Wyatt, Oliver, and Mari Fallon hosted a party at the Sulani Beach Club and many celebrities were in attendance including Dirk Dreamer, Judith Ward, Penny Pizzazz, now Penny Carrington (see the side tea), Thone & Octavia Bailey, and Vanessa Richards.

*Episode 01 tea is below

The Sulani Beach Club can be downloaded on my Patreon HERE :)

The Girl Next Door LP - S01 EP01 At the party were 2 of Oliver's ex "female friends with benefits" Vanessa and Nalani. For the first time Mari came face to face with Oliver's promiscuous past. While Oliver was never exclusive with anyone since high school (more on that later), him having such a "playboy" mentality for so many years, makes Mari wonder if he is really ready to settle down. Mari's insecurities are getting the best of her right now and leaving her to question their future together. Fallon was really hoping for a proposal from Jay on this trip, but so far nothing. She is still holding out hope as the 6 are heading to dinner on a private island tomorrow evening. Fallon doesn't know that Jay witnessed her flirting with Wyatt the other day and honestly, he is starting to realize he is developing feelings for his close friend/co-worker Riley. While their families have an expectation that Fallon and Jay will wed, it's going to be interesting to see if they actually say, "I do". After striking out on Cupid's Corner, Kristina had the best time as she worked the room and found a very handsome man named Dominic. They flirted and made out for a bit before exchanging numbers. The two plan to go on a date next time he is in San Myshuno. Wyatt was jealous watching Kristina and Dominic dancing and kissing, he then flirted with a cute bartender named Willow and the 2 eventually woohoo'd in the utility closet. Kristina has been very clear with Wyatt, they are just woohoo partners, but he is having a hard time with the "no feelings" boundary. Side tea: Fallon's father, Blake autonomously married her close friend from high school who was Penny Pizzazz. Fallon is not happy (obviously) and called Penny a "gold digger" "snitch" it got ugly... EPISODE 02 HERE

#TheGirlNextDoor

[dataglitch]

Have you ever thought about creating and selling art guide books with examples and the such? Not just for transformers (though I’d be very personally invested in that because they are haaaard) but just tips and tricks in general? You inspire so so many people, myself included, and that you’re self taught kinda just makes it even better in my heart because you got yourself where you are as yourself and are so successful in it. I saw your post recently answering an ask that had examples and that kind of stuff is literally perfect. There are a lot of people like me that rely heavily on visual learning and there are a lot of people like my brother who have aphantasia who cannot mentally visualize objects and that small post already made several things kinda click in my head that didn’t used to. Sorry if this is a really weird post but I was really curious if you’d ever thought about it, I mean if you started a kickstarter on a guide book I would back the absolute hell out of that. We need more people making guide books for niche things, stuff someone a self taught artist can pinpoint like “I wish I knew this while learning.”.

Regardless, no need to respond if it’s a strange ask, I just want to let you know your art and journey through it are so very inspiring, thank you 🫶

Thank you so much, it's always a treat hearing people like my stuff :D As far as that, I don't think I ever thought about it? At least, I didn't realize there would be a demand for guides from me, but I'm not opposed to the idea. I have thought previously of opening a Patreon for tutorials and exclusive pictures, but with my schedule it doesn't seem feasible unfortunately. I won't lie, but sometimes I feel that due to not having the right education or not being an art graduate, my advice may not seem correct? Might be a self-conscious thing, but as long as people are alright with having a different view of things from someone who's self-taught, I don't mind helping out. If there's specific things people are curious about regarding the process, I might create small guides for others to follow. Nothing too technical of course, just straight up screenshots and step-by-step directions :) It's taken me years to learn and I'm always looking for ways to improve, so why not share some of the things I learned along the way with others? :D Since I have gotten various asks regarding this, I've decided to make a masterpost/workflow guide on how I plan and render my pictures. Would that be something people would like? Lastly, please don't feel bad about asking, I really do appreciate you taking the time to write this! It's always fun to talk about how stuff works behind the scenes :)

[neriumxoleander]

Im going to attempt a brief post about gato's saturday update for those of us not on patreon. If you interact and have no age listed in your bio or are not 18 at bare minimum, you will be blocked. "Young adult" doesn't count. I encourage other adults to do the same and get minors out of our spaces.

Once again, I'm by no means an authority on this, I just want to spread information. I don't mind receiving asks about it, as long as you're respectful and aren't looking to pit anyone against each other.

Gato said this would be a long update she split into multiple parts, so I was hopeful it would include an apology. I'll say right now: she did not mention the accusations at all.

1. The game

I'm not going to post her full game update, because it's patreon exclusive and I'm not about to start spoiling YKMET. But the game update itself is pretty straight forward: she's worked on endings and more placeholders.

2. Website

She's worked on the site she hosts BTD on, and plans to have public update posts there. This appears to be the extent of her social media usage for now. If you've been worried about missing art of hers, she'll likely be uploading it here in the next month or so, but there's no guarantee you'll see a lot of her older art before the development of TPoF, if I had to take a guess. Maybe some art from the development of BtD2, but we'll have to wait and see.

3. Hobbies and sound design

I'm glad the absence of social media has been allowing Gato to be able to take on new ideas and hobbies outside of developing YKMET, but... this is where I started to get less hopeful about a public apology. All she talked about of note here was potentially making her own music and sound effects for YKMET and any future games.

4. Time off

I hope this break is good for her and clears her head, but there was absolutely no mention about anything happening in regards to an apology, or even acknowledging the situation. I can't fathom the idea that not a single person messaged her about all this. It's a bit chilling.

If anyone has tried to reach out to gato on patreon about this and gotten a response, I think it would be a good idea to speak up about it and to let others see what she's said, if anything at all. I hope next week she'll have something to say on the matter, but I'm starting to trust Gato a little less myself.

[signalhill-if]

Question, how do you get the augur identity?

So the augur identity is probably the hardest to get, because it's the only one with universal prerequisites- so even if you pick the right options, it won't offer you the identity unless you've got the prerequisites.

In order to get it, your character's gender will need to be androgyne. As part of the ritual that grants someone the status of augur, they are also recognized as androgyne, and although the augur identity doesn't preclude you being of lapsed faith or not following typical requirements for augurs (like masking/covering your body) I've chosen to still have it be exclusive based on gender. Your character will also have to have the devotee identity.

The places where you can claim the augur identity include...

In Tracking Number, be lured into Levi's building and accept his offer of tea. If those two conditions are met, you'll have the option to realize that the tea tastes familiar.

In Test Run, after getting Ozzy back, ask him why he accepted such a dangerous gig, and then recognize that the person he's describing is an augur. If those two conditions are met, you'll have the option to say you know this from experience.

In Waveform, when Yasmin asks about your experiences up North, if those two conditions are met, you can tell her that you used to be a "mystic." This will give you the option to take that identity.

In Dress Up Games (which will be coming out with the next update but is currently out on my Patreon), if you arrive wearing a blindfold, Darling will ask if it's some kind of religious thing. If those two conditions are met, you can say that yes, it is.

[yooniesim]

SO lilsims*e went on a rant about defending early access creators during one of her last lives (4/24 - around 2 hours and 24 minutes) and let me tell you, it was quite something to watch someone completely misrepresent an argument like that.

I didn’t expect much of her, since she's friends with "charging 3 dollars for nipple overlays" littled*ca, but it was so low of her to claim that the people who are against editing a mesh for five minutes and putting it behind a paywall for WEEKS can't make CC of their own, specially since a lot of the people against EA are creators of amazing content here on simblr.

ps: it's also funny to watch perma paywallers get blamed for being the worst (they are), but it's not exclusively perma paywallers that doxx people 🫣🫣🫣

I've never watched her in my life and im not gonna start now lol. idc, she can have her opinion or w/e, she's entitled to that. but I know she upset several ppl with how she spoke to them during this stream (you're not the first person to tell me this) so hopefully she doesn't talk to any of her other followers like that in the future.

anyways, unconnected to her bc idk her, just going off some of the other things you said- it also confuses me when ppl say those critical of early access don't know how to make cc. We do know how to make cc, that's the problem. If we didn't, we wouldn't know about LODs or poly or hat chops or the amount of effort it takes to make an item. The ppl that don't know how to make cc are generally ok with it and I've had a few ppl tell me they became disillusioned with early access once they learned how to make cc. Or people that couldn't afford dlc and then when they finally got it one way or another, realizing that the cc they had was just slightly changed from items they get from ea's packs. I've heard both sentiments a lot.

also, yes, perma-paywallers have now become the boogeymen/scapegoat that creators can point to to make themselves look better whilst at the same time not doing anything to actually help. many early access creators only mentioned the doxxing ring to assure people that they would never do that and they are safe. that was the theme of most of their posts and there hasn't been a peep about it since. And I've never seen any big early access creators talk about their fellows (early access) that have also doxxed people or held any scummy business practices for that matter. Such as manipulating patreon's billing system for their own benefit to charge people twice. They never speak about any of the problems of the system and just go "permas are the real problem" without ever suggesting anything to be done about the permas or even just making their followers more aware of what the problem is or how to stay safe.

I don't really expect this to change. Right now, the sims 4 community is dominated by and built on a system of monetization. This includes not only paywallers of cc but simstubers that are fueled by ad revenue, sponsorships, and stream donations. They are all connected, to each other and to EA. And at the end of the day, it all comes back to money. So it will not change or be dismantled until the Sims 4 dies and they move on to the next thing that makes more money. I haven't found any solution for this other than just not paying them a cent, blocking them preferably, and keeping your own circle of people/followers aware of who isn't safe while just hoping for the best.

[opinated-user]

this change only happened after EOT's videos, btw. just this year alone LO "joked" about sucking off MO during the middle of a stream on youtube and tried to invite a fan to her home so they could have sex. she's lying about this being something she has been doing for a while. the only reason she's trying to contain herself is because finally she got some backlash, not because of therapy. she's still blaming her being a creep on people who didn't consent to it on her "destructive coping mechanism" and not herself don't understanding consent on a basic level. here she's blaming other people for "not understanding conduct" instead. the fact that she frames the situation on this way ("i'll feel more comfortable" rather than "it's better for everyone this way") should be a red flag on it's own. exposing yourself to a wider audience who didn't consented or wanted that is not a little mistake, it's a predatory action as content creator to her fans and LO was fully aware of this, that's why she was so happy to do it and defend it all the times that it happened, right until people rightfully called her out. "friend who are comfortable with it" means people who she hopes won't denounce her as a predator later down the line, even if she does break boundaries and doesn't ask before exposing herself (like her patreons).

lastly... she's lying. one of her latest streams included a talk between her and MO about the sexual preferences of their characters. namely, how much LO!rey enjoys anal sex above all else and how happy and supportive alaina is to provide for that to her wife. the sexualization was over their fictional character rather than specifically herself or MO, so i'll grant that as a small improvement... but randomly starting talking about the kinks of a character is still being sexual. that's why it's common fandom etiquette to not do that unless you know for sure it's a safe space (without minors, people who agreed to that kind of talk and actively consent). let's be clear here: if LO is advertising herself as a NSFW/DNI Minors exclusive kind of content creator (or at least her community as such) then that kind of talk can be expected. as long LO's actively blocking minors and warning about that before hand then that could be alright. it's the obvious lying that is the problem. she can't say that she isn't sexual anymore while doing sexual things out in streams.

[mcalhenwrites]

Full time writing career goals ;)

So there are some things I'm getting in order! I have two questions, if anyone here reading my work doesn't mind answering them: 1. Despite the plot holes, should I keep posting Stargazers' Hill to AO3? I have no plans to rewrite it, and the character interactions are meaningful - Ambrose and Thaddeus, Ambrose and Evelyn, CORA IS IN IT HELLO - so maybe people still want to read it! 2. I found out there's a site like patreon that allows nsfw (subscribestar adult) and I'm tempted to look into making tiers there. It even has a free tier! I don't write exclusively erotica or draw too much kinky stuff, but I do sometimes and would like to be able to include it. I won't be able to open it until I move (which won't be for some months) and sort my banking and address out, but is there any interest in that? Again, there is a free tier, which I'm excited about. If so, I'll have to sort out what I want to share there. More on this later, really, but it would be nice to have patrons! I'll also have to update my ko-fi when the time comes, too, but I do post public entries when I remember. :') I have made an official deadline for finishing my editing of Geckos, Automata (which was supposed to be published months ago, but Seasons consumed my brain instead), and I'll publish it soon after that! A reminder that no one is obligated to financially support me, times are tough, but it'd be awesome if you like my writing and want to see more of it, since being able to make a living on it means more time for it/less time focused on a job. (If I can even get one of those. sigh.) I'm also getting back into art, so I'll be able to draw more OCs. I have little desk space atm, but I do have a tablet, so when I move, maybe I can also extend that practice to digital! Until then, I just sketch/doodle/whatever on paper, and it's not an art pursuit, it's mainly a side dish to the writing, essentially? Same with crochet! Oh, and I miiiight be publishing a book of crochet patterns down the road, but that will require a ton of work and formatting, since photos will be required. I no longer crochet those items, so maybe they can be of use to someone else...! (Like my tortoise and sea turtle patterns and such.) If you have feedback/thoughts/answers to my questions, feel free to comment on this post, reblog it with a response, or even send an ask if that's more comfortable! Oh, and I meant to add that if you're someone who is here bc you read Seasons and liked it, you will still see the chapters on AO3 and that's not something I plan to profit from. I miiight share art on places like ko-fi and whatnot that are from it, but the main story will be up on AO3 to read. In case that concerned anyone/brought about any fears. It's something I just wanted to share with y'all for free.

[authorsadiethatcher]

One of the common questions I get is why I don't write darker. And the answer I always give is Amazon and not wanting to put my publishing account at risk by going too dark in erotica. Some people can get away with it, but I don't want to test that boundary. But that doesn't mean I don't get ideas for darker stories and I finally decided to write one.

Instead of a bimbofication story, this is a dollification story. And the first thing you might notice by looking at the image above is the woman is missing something. She is missing her arms. It's not just that The Muse is dark, but it also includes some extreme body mods and other themes that push this beyond the realm of what I would normally do in my books.

Of course, this isn't a good book for Amazon and it certainly isn't a good thing to write on Tumblr without risking my account (I've already lost one page and I don't want to go through that again), but I have a relatively new option available: Ream. It's a subscription service similar to Patreon, but it's made for authors, by authors, and it doesn't have the content restrictions that Patreon or Amazon have.

Begin reading The Muse now: https://reamstories.com/sadiethatcher

The Muse is a work in progress story and I already have the first two chapters up, with new chapters appearing every day through the end of the month. And this will be a novel-length story with lots of sex and body modification descriptions, plus BDSM stuff and even amputation (the arms, duh). I don't know how many chapters it will eventually be, but the story is already over 24,000 words and it's not even halfway done, so it's will be long.

Due to the extreme nature of this story, I am making it exclusive to the Advanced Bimbo Tier on Ream. However, the first chapter is available to both Basic Bimbo readers and general followers. That means you can read the first chapter for free by signing up to be a follower. There are some other pieces of content available for followers as well, beyond this opening chapter.

Begin reading The Muse now: https://reamstories.com/sadiethatcher

At some point, I may try to make that first chapter available here on Tumblr, but I will likely have to edit it to make it Tumblr safe. And if I do that, it won't be until next month at the soonest. If this story at all interests you, you should just sign up as a follower.

And just a reminder that the Advanced Bimbo Tier gives you access to all of my books since about May. So you get a lot for that subscription cost. I also include lots of sexy images that were considered for covers before selecting the final image.

Begin reading The Muse now: https://reamstories.com/sadiethatcher

It’s love at first sight for Maddie. A chance encounter with the plastic surgeon to the stars quickly turns into so much more. But as a naïve college student, Maddie is in way over her head as she falls head over heels for Dr. Aaron Cole.

However, things are not as they seem. Maddie struggles to adapt to her new life with Aaron as he continues to place new and more extreme demands upon her while always leaving her desperate for intimate contact with the man she loves.

Before she knows it, Maddie is in over her head, her body becoming Aaron’s marble with which he is creating his next masterpiece. But as he slowly transforms her body, he also leaves her more and more helpless, completely dependent on him and his staff for all of her needs as she slowly becomes a human doll.

Will Maddie manage to save herself before it is too late? Or will she allow herself to become Dr. Cole’s next masterpiece? Find out in The Muse.

[gascon-en-exil]

Ten Ferdibert Musical Numbers that Aren’t from Wicked

or,

Hubert and Ferdinand's Fabulously Wicked (but not Wicked) Musical Revue

It's well-established fanon that Hubert and Ferdinand are a musicals couple; even the English voice actors got in on the fun. That "For Good" cover instantly turned Wicked into the Ferdibert musical, and I've done my part as well with that idea. Somewhere in my blog archives and (in more detail) on my Patreon there's a sketch for how Wicked in its entirety could be repurposed as a non-CF Ferdibert story, and I'm fairly proud of how well I was able to get the two stories to fit together.

That does not however put the rest of musical theatre out of reach for this pair of campy (and occasionally murderous) theatre queens. I've had the idea for a while now to come up with a list of numbers from other shows that I think they could pull off, and to coincide with their birthdays in late April I decided to put together just that. Here are ten such numbers and why I think they fit Hubert or Ferdinand, or both. These are naturally reflective of my own knowledge of stage musicals, but I tried to pull from a broad selection. I only excluded jukebox musicals - painful as that was because I know Ferdinand would adore Mamma Mia!, and fandom has already come with Moulin Rouge! headcanons for the pair. They didn't really fit what I was going for, though. I've also included video references for all the songs, not necessarily my favorite renditions of each number but ones that I think are useful.

(One final note: I am aware that, assuming these characters were to perform these numbers non-diagetically, significant alterations to certain lyrics would have to be made. I however am not a lyricist, so I will not attempt to make such changes.)

"The Phantom of the Opera," The Phantom of the Opera

(F) Those who have seen your face Draw back in fear. I am the mask you wear. (H) It's me they hear. (Both) Your/My spirit and my/your voice, In one combined. The Phantom of the Opera is there, Inside my/your mind.

Let's open with one everyone will recognize. Ferdibert shippers were quick to jump on the similarities between these characters and the principles in Phantom. Hubert, like Erik, is a creepy murderer with a hideous face; Ferdinand meanwhile is the inexplicable midpoint between Raoul and Christine. He would sing "All I Ask of You" to himself, and somehow make it work. As for duets between the two, "The Point of No Return" would work as the two on the cusp of seduction - but it ends abruptly with the literal unmasking of the Phantom. One of the things I like about Hubert is that he's the only CF-exclusive who doesn't have a masked alter-ego. He's grotesque inside and out, but he never hides it...and Ferdinand might be into that?

So, let's go bigger. The eponymous number of the musical only uses the Phantom's mask as a metaphor, in a way that I believe works with the Ferdibert "Two Jewels" contrasting relationship post-CF. Hubert is committing all manner of terrible acts behind the curtain, and it's up to his charming, public-facing lover to be the "mask" to smooth over the people's outrage and fear. Also, this number ends with the much memed-on "Sing, my angel of music!" and while Ferdinand could obviously never hit Christine's notes...I read that those are often prerecorded in productions. It would be fully on-brand for them to switch to a soprano vocalization for that bit. Where else could you find such overwrought silliness but in the theatre?

"Tango: Maureen," Rent

(F) Gotta look on the bright side with all of your might. (H) I'd fall for her still anyhow. (Both) When you're dancing her dance You don't stand a chance. Her grip of romance makes you fall. (F) So you think might as well (H) Dance a tango to hell. (Both) At least I'll have tangoed at all!

I have issues with Rent as a whole, but a few of its individual songs are solid. This is one of several musical numbers that I associate with Ferdibert thanks to Hubert's never-requited attraction to Edelgard, who functions, approximately, as Maureen here. I say approximately because the energy of this number would be fairly different; Maureen is a promiscuous bisexual stereotype, whereas Edelgard's whole thing is that she won't even look at Hubert twice if her teacher is in the room. Also, neither Hubert nor Ferdinand map exactly onto Mark or Joanne. Rather, they'd break up their lines in ways that would suit their own characters, with Hubert being both the one helplessly pining (Joanne) and also the one angry and bitter about Maureen/Edelgard's behavior (Mark). Ferdinand instead takes Mark's role of trying to steer his partner away from the object of their shared frustration...and toward himself a bit, although that's not a part of the original number at all.

"So Much Better," Legally Blonde

You thought I was dumb But I think that somebody's judgment was poor. Seeing my name in black and white, It's like making love with you all night. No, wait! It feels so much better, Hello, much better, It's oh, oh, oh... *pantomimes orgasm* much better! 'Cause I am so much better than before!

He may not be blond, but Ferdinand is kind of a perfect Elle Woods when you think about it: smarter and more capable than anyone believes because they're constantly underestimating him. Unfortunately the musical (largely an improvement over the already-strong movie) doesn't fully work for Ferdibert, because Emmett is nowhere near evil enough to be a role for Hubert, but I like this big Act I closer for Ferdinand. This is Elle getting to show off after she gets picked for a prestigious internship albeit for sleazy reasons out of her control but that's an Act II reveal, proving that everyone was wrong not to take her seriously. Doesn't work super well in a Three Houses context, but it doesn't need to; Ferdinand would have a blast in this role. Honorable mention: "Take It Like a Man" doesn't work as a Ferdibert number because it would require that either of them would care about giving Hubert a makeover, but the dirty innuendo in the title would be even more obvious with two guys.

"Keep It Gay," The Producers

(H) I see a line of beautiful girls Dressed as storm troopers, each one a gem. With leather boots and whips on their hips, It's risqué, dare I say, S & M! (F) Love it! (H) I see German soldiers dancing through France Played by chorus boys in very tight pants. And wait, there's more - they win the war! (F) And the dances they do will be daring and new. Turn-turn-kick-turn, turn-turn-kick-turn, One-two-three-kick-turn! Keep it sassy, keep it classy, keep it... *faints*

How could I pass this one up? It's the epitome of camp, and perfect for these two. Hubert delighted to stage a musical about Nazis! Ferdinand doing drag* for no apparent reason! Subject matter so outrageously offensive on so many levels that it circles back around to being funny! Neither character aligns perfectly with Roger de Bris or with any of the cavalcade of stereotypes that hang out in his penthouse (and also the Village People, because why not), but they nail the melodramatic verve and the "doing it for the art" amorality that you'd have to have to want to direct Springtime for Hitler. I have no idea how anyone could contort it into making it work, but I could see the Max and Leo roles here occupied by the Lions boys, who might all be sleeping with each other but who nevertheless don't really "get" drag or singing their feelings or spontaneous conga lines.

*See below for more on Ferdinand in drag.

"Poison in My Pocket," A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder

Murder's not a hobby for the cautious. Thoughts of violence can make the timid nauseous. *gasps* Unless of course the victim plunges head-on through the ice. It appears that I've been handed quite an opportune solution. And all that still remains is proper execution. I had better join them on the lake before it gets too late.

Continuing with the black comedy theme, Gentleman's Guide is a delightful satire about serial murder....pretty much Hubert's dream role. I wouldn't quite buy him as a novice at killing as Monty is in this early number, but in other respects it is in-character for him. He misses his chance to use the poison in the song title, but quickly improvises a better, funnier murder instead. Hubert absolutely would compose a bunch of jaunty little songs as he's sequentially killing people off. Second place from this show would be "Better With a Man," which is another one of those numbers that's filled with gay innuendos (this time intentionally too). Nevertheless it doesn't really fit the Ferdibert dynamic, to say nothing of how Hubert wouldn't have Ferdinand on his hit list...probably.

"Some Other Me," If/Then

(F) Look down each road left untaken. (H) Trace every turn and twist. (F) The lives that we just let go by. (H) The dreams we might have missed. (Both) Now we're old enough to know that One road ends where one begins. The moment where the "what might bes" Turn into "might have beens."

Time to dial it back a bit. If/Then is an excellent point of comparison for any multi-route video game, even if its stakes are closer to that of a slice-of-life dating sim than a faux-grim war epic. It follows its protagonist simultaneously along two radically diverging pathways in life, based on one seemingly innocuous choice. "Some Other Me" is a melancholy Act II duet between the protagonist and her friend/lover, and for Ferdibert it encapsulates the divergence of the Eagles route split and Ferdinand's early Part II anxieties over the path he takes - regardless of which route he's on. I like that this number could work for them either in CF or outside of it, as just as in If/Then neither path leads to a fully happy ending. This would all, admittedly, work a bit better if Hubert had some variance himself to work with in canon, but many a non-CF Ferdibert AU (including my own Wicked concept) has thought about what that might look like. It's not even that hard to build in Hopes canon for that matter, provided you don't assume they're dead in the second half of AG.

"I Am What I Am," La Cage aux Folles

I am what I am. I don't want praise, I don't want pity. I bang my own drum, Some think it's noise, I think it's pretty. And so what, if I love each feather and each spangle, Why not try to see things from a different angle? Your life is a sham 'til you can shout out loud I am what I am!

My longstanding headcanon that Ferdinand would enjoy drag is based on a few things. There's his generally flamboyant attitude, of course, but there's also his Manuela supports where he recalls mimicking her roles on stage. Maybe he'd be comfortable taking them on himself? At any rate, there's no shortage of iconic drag queen numbers in musical theatre, and while I considered options from Hedwig and the Angry Itch and Kinky Boots I ultimately settled on this anthem from La Cage aux Folles, the dramatic solo reprise/follow-up to the bawdy ensemble number "We Are What We Are." Ferdinand would nail the mixture of pride and indignity, the demand that - as in "So Much Better" above - he be taken seriously no matter how he chooses to present himself. It's almost a shame he grows out his hair post-timeskip and would probably take advantage of that when doing drag; the wig-throwing at the end is as much symbolic as it is hilarious.

Up until now though I've been overlooking one of the most obvious candidates for a Ferdibert musical: Sweeney Todd. It's another musical about a serial killer that abounds in black comedy - and what's more, Hubert's folding razor lost item, with its implicitly murderous flavor text, draws a direct parallel between him and the Demon Barber of Fleet Street. The problem, however, is that as perfect as that setup may be...Ferdibert really doesn't fit the musical. Never mind that Ferdinand would struggle to match the manic mixture of twisted love and pragmatism of Mrs. Lovett, or that Sweeney crooning to his murder weapons in "My Friends" is something more like you'd expect of a killer like Jeritza if he were given to singing. No, the biggest problem is that Sweeney Todd is a Cockney musical, written from the perspective of denizens of London's lower classes. Ferdinand's dream getaway would never be so pedestrian as that envisioned in "By the Sea," Hubert wouldn't be out to revenge himself on a man of vastly higher rank, etc. That said....

"A Little Priest," Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

(H) Have charity toward the world, my pet. (F) Yes, yes, I know, my love. (H) We'll take the customers that we can get. (F) Highborn and low, my love. (H) We'll not discriminate great from small. No, we'll serve anyone, meaning anyone, (Both) And to anyone At all!

Apart from this being arguably the most fun number in the show, "A Little Priest" would offer Ferdibert tons of material for black comedy wordplay while also turning the class commentary of the original on its head. A pair of downtrodden working-class people singing merrily about baking people into pies in the name of capitalism (and corpse disposal) sounds like a literal take on eating the rich; from a pair of aristocrats, it sounds like the sort of hypocrisy seen in some of their canon interactions in Hopes. Hubert grouses about nobles who hold themselves above the law...while never mentioning that they themselves are nobles who are allowed to exist above the law because they're top cronies in the new regime. In a post-CF world, this number would have even more sinister (and funny) undertones than ever, with the bodies piling up so fast from Hubert's underground activities that Ferdinand decides to help by coming up with a way to get rid of them more efficiently while also, ahem, addressing food shortages. That is another reason Sweeney Todd as a whole doesn't work for Ferdibert: who would stop them, or even could? They truly are a dangerous pair - but so very wonderfully evil. Adding to the comedy would be that, while Hubert would be more than happy to do the murder himself, Ferdinand would only be role-playing as the shopkeeper that he'll never be, in the way that Mrs. Lovett does throughout the number...since, you know, they haven't gotten around to killing all these people yet.

"Rose's Turn," Gypsy: A Musical Fable

Why did I do it? What did it get me? Scrapbooks full of me in the background. Give 'em love and what does it get ya? What does it get ya? One quick look as each of 'em leaves you. All your life and what does it get ya? "Thanks a lot!" and out with the garbage. They take bows and you're battin' zero.

In most cases I'd give the big diva songs to Ferdinand, as discussed in the final entry for this revue. However, this diva number in particular would be glorious for Hubert. Even leaving aside the inherent comedy in imagining his relationship to Edelgard as that of an overbearing stage mom, I feel with the right lyrical reworking "Rose's Turn" would perfectly capture the moment where Hubert realizes what Ferdinand would be trying to get him to see in "Tango: Maureen": that Edelgard will never appreciate him in the way that he wants because Byleth exists. This number is musically complex, with disparate callbacks to over half a dozen previous songs strung together in a way that resembles a mental breakdown - because that's more or less what it is. Different actresses have played "Rose's Turn" in very different ways, and I see Hubert not so much unhinged as bitter and determined to assert his own wants for a change. What unfathomable terrors could that possibly entail?

But that leaves me with one question: what diva song should Ferdinand have? There are many options, and I considered a bunch ranging from Les Misérables to Company to Sunset Boulevard, but in the end I had to go with an old classic.

"Don't Rain On My Parade," Funny Girl

But whether I'm the rose Of sheer perfection, A freckle on the nose Of life's complexion, The cinder or the shiny apple of its eye. I gotta fly once, I gotta try once, Only can die once, right, sir? Oh, life is juicy, Juicy, and you see, I gotta have my bite, sir!

Capturing the same relentless, foolhardy optimism that Hubert apparently admires about him, "Don't Rain On My Parade" fits amazingly well for Ferdinand. It even works in context. Fanny is here determined to marry a man she's been warned against, and when it predictably doesn't turn out well she closes the show with a reprise of this number telling the world she's going to get right back up and start again. Ferdinand may or may not end up with Hubert depending on the timeline, and he might regret it either way, but he simply can't be kept down.

[yukipri]

Please, can you go back and do your yuri on ice family?

Oh wow it's been a while since anyone's mentioned Future!Verse!

Short answer: No.

Long answer: Sometimes, when I leave a fandom without feeling obligated to it, I leave on "good terms" or still continue to enjoy the base media even if I no longer create fan content for it. These fandoms, like One Piece, I might one day create content for again. I wouldn't hold your breath for it, but I still like the base content, so it's not impossible.

Other fandoms, my feelings about creating content for it turned bitter by the time I left, and I didn't have a good parting with it. YOI is one of those.

My time as a YOI artist also coincided with the Tumblr Purge, which was a deeply traumatizing and awful experience for me. Now I can't even look back at my old content without remembering how I felt back then.

So no, I will not go back to continue any of my YOI content. I'm not even particularly waiting for Ice Adolescence any more. I also no longer ship the most popular YOI ship at all (before I sorta did, in specific polyamorous contexts only). So there's nothing really there for me even if I did ever return ^ ^;

As it is, I made a decent amount of content while I was active in the fandom, and all of it is still there! I hope you're able to enjoy what content is present ^ ^ Luckily, Future!Verse in particular was not a plot-centric AU, so there really would have been no "end" anyway.

I have a pretty decent amount of Patreon-exclusive content that never made it public, including story notes, concept sketches, and even some n/s/f/w. You're welcome to search for them, they're all tagged, but you'll have to go back. Though again, disclaimer, I am not creating new YOI content and will not be creating new content in the future, and Patreon doesn't change that.

I hope that answers your question!

(and in general, I do not take public requests. Thanks for understanding!)

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