#this doesn't apply to everybody though
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#it feels so unreal to me to be applying for a disability certificate#after i grew up hearing that i should be thankful for being fully abled (catholic family (kind of))#idk you always internalize the shit you hear as a kid so i feel like im making a big deal out of nothing#even though everybody else knows what happens when i try to do “what everybody else is doing”#and collective ignorance doesn't help at all#like when im transparent about the reasons why im not looking for “a real job”#ive heard things like “I don't know what kind of autism that is because i know x person who is autistic and has a job”#im done explaining peoplr what a spectrum is#but yeah those kind of comments make me question the severity of my problem with social interaction#anyway#that was today's unsolicited venting moment
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aspec terms for beginners!
since it's trending right now, i feel like it might be helpful to clear up some basic aspec (but particularly aromantic, as we are the center of attention currently) terms. if you have absolutely any questions, i would be happy to answer, either in the replies, dms, or my inbox!
★・・・・・・★
the split attraction model (SAM): a model of human behavior that posits that, for some people, romantic and sexual attraction are not the same.
[most often this will come in the form of someone being aspec on one axis and allo (not aspec) on another. for example, a biromantic asexual may be romantically attracted to two or more genders, but sexually attracted to none. some people may even use SAM for allo identities– a bisexual lesbian may be sexually attracted to multiple genders, but only romantically attracted to women (note that this is not the only way that someone can be an mspec lesbian, just one way!). the SAM does not apply to everybody, not even all aspecs! there are non-SAM aros, for instance, who do not differentiate their aromanticism from their sexuality.]
aspec: a collection of queer spectrums centered around the lack of a certain attraction or identity. the most common spectrums under the aspec umbrella are asexual, aromantic, agender, and aplatonic, though there are many other ways to be aspec.
asexual: experiencing little to no sexual attraction.
[aces can still have sex– whether its because they experience some amount of sexual attraction or they just want to participate in sex because they find the act appealing in some other way. that being said, there are still plenty of aces who have not and will never have sex. it is a spectrum.]
aromantic: experiencing little to no romantic attraction.
[aros can still have romantic partners– whether its because they experience some amount of romantic attraction or they just find relationships appealing in some other way. that being said, there are still plenty of aros who have not and will never be in a romantic relationship. it is a spectrum.]
agender: having no gender or little relation to any gender.
aplatonic: experiencing little to no platonic attraction.
[similarly to aros and aces, apls can still form friendships if they so desire– whether its because they experience some amount of platonic attraction or they find friendships appealing in some other way.]
aroallo: combination of aromantic and allosexual– allosexual being someone who fully experiences sexual attraction. an aroallo, then, is someone who is aromantic but not asexual. aroallos often do not have a standard relationship with sex due to its romantic connotations and the stigma against loveless sex. someone having sex with someone else they do not love does not inherently make them aroallo, much in the same way that having a nonsexual relationship with a partner doesn't inherently make either participant asexual.
aroace: someone who is both aromantic and asexual. because aro and ace are both spectrums, an aroace may still experience some amount of attraction on either or both of those spectrums, or they may experience attraction of some other kind (platonic, tertiary, etc.), and that attraction may be only for a certain gender or genders– these are known as oriented aroaces.
queerplatonic relationship: a type of relationship that is defined only by the people within it. i have a post dedicated to explaining this in larger detail.
partnering: an aspec (usually aromantic) person who has and/or desires to have a partnership or multiple partnerships– romantic, queerplatonic, or otherwise.
non-partnering: an aspec (usually aromantic) person who has no desire to form a partnership of any kind.
romance/sex/plato favorable: an aspec who desires or would not reject a romantic, sexual, or platonic relationship. they are also generally not particularly bothered by seeing these relationships in their day-to-day.
romance/sex/plato repulsed: an aspec who does not desire a romantic, sexual, or platonic relationship and generally does not like seeing those relationships in their day-to-day. [x] repulsed people are not necessarily judgemental towards people who desire or participate in those relationships, they just do not desire them for themselves. repulsion often takes the form of discomfort or annoyance. [x] repulsed people are not necessarily cruel sticks-in-the-mud– they are perfectly capable of being respectful, and they very often are. repulsion does not always stem from trauma, though it certainly can.
romance/sex/plato positive: not to be confused with favorability, [x] positivity is the belief that romance, sex, and platonic relationships are human rights that should be supported and uplifted. someone can be [x] repulsed and [x] positive at the same time, because favorability/repulsion revolves around the self, and positivity/negativity extends to others.
sex/romance/plato negative: not to be confused with repulsion, [x] negativity is an inherently judgemental and harmful ideology. most commonly in the form of sex negativity, these ideologies are centered around the opposition to or personal judgement of people who engage in romance, sex, or platonic relationships. sex negativity in particular is embedded in western white supremacist societies and it is important for aspecs not to play into that.
those are the basics, but i have more information below the cut!
★・・・・・・★
> how are aspecs queer?
aspecs are queer because "queer" does not only mean LGBT. queer theory is about far more than just LGBT people– though they are undeniably a large part of it– queerness is any subversion of the traditional cisheteronormative standard. this includes things that cishets may take part in/identify with, because you do not have to be LGBT to subvert those standards. cishets who are gender-nonconforming are queer, for example. a good rule of thumb is that if you have to explain what you whole deal is to cishets, you're queer. queer does mean strange, after all.
traditional cisheteronormative conceptions of attraction, gender, and relationships do not account for aspecs. it is expected that everyone will one day form a traditional partnership with one other person, and that relationship will include sex (even if only for procreation, under some dogmas). virginity past a certain age is seen as a point of shame and something indicative of a larger problem in someone– in men, a red flag even. people past 30 without a relationship are pitied. our economic structure is build for couples and families– it's near impossible for someone to live comfortably alone. romance, friendship, and love are placed on a pedestal, treated as the meaning of life, the best thing anyone could ever experience. "love is the point of everything," as many posts on this site like to claim. people who reject these ideas are undeniably queer.
> i can get behind aros and aces, but the whole "aplatonic" thing feels like a stretch to me. how is not having friends queer? "platonic attraction" isn't even real.
aplatonicism is more than just "not having friends," and many apls have friends anyway, much in the same way that aros can date and aces can have sex. someone who does not have friends is not inherently aplatonic, they only are if they identify that little-to-no platonic attraction in themselves and choose to label themselves that way (just like how virgins aren't inherently asexual). still, apls who don't have friends exist, and they are all queer. what is a greater subversion of traditional cisheteronormative relationship structures than an outright rejection of what's seen as the most basic, fundamental relationship our culture has to offer?
you may not feel that platonic attraction is a distinct phenomenon in your own experience, and that's fine! ultimately, a lot of aspec terms exist for the utility and comfort of aspecs themselves. the SAM isn't for everyone, and platonic attraction isn't for everyone either. you do not have the authority to tell people what their own experiences are, nor should you care.
> i think it's sad that you're limiting yourself with these labels. you'll find someone one day!
for the broad majority of aspecs, our identities are not self-disciplinary, nor are they necessarily permanent. all queer people are capable of misunderstanding their identity or having a fluid identity– it is not a problem unique to being aspec. that being said, a lot of us may always be aspec and completely happy with it. being aspec is not a tragedy. the only thing i don't like about being aromantic is the judgement i receive from other people about it. non-partnering aspecs are not "missing out" on anything, because we don't even want the things we're rejecting in the first place. many of us are romance/sex/plato repulsed and are far more happy engaging with the world and with other people in different ways, because there is so, so much more to life than relationships, and it's wrong to presume that relationships are universally fit for everybody. telling an aspec that they'll find "the right person" one day is no different from telling a lesbian she'll find "the right man" one day. there is no "right person" for an aspec just as there's no "right man" for a lesbian. a lesbian is not "missing out" on a heterosexual relationship just because it's culturally perceived as superior and more fulfilling.
[disclaimer before anyone tries to do a "gotcha," i'm talking about a lesbian who is fully not attracted to men in any way. it's not like homophobes know the intricacies of gender identity and nonconformity as it pertains to homosexuality anyways.]
lastly, i wanna give a special shout out to the loveless aros and the relationship anarchists.
loveless aros are those who either feel little-to-no love as they understand it, or they are someone who supports the de-centering of love. they're worthy of a whole post of their own, but in summary: the loveless experience is all about finding joy in yourself and the countless things our world has to offer that are not dependent on the vague idea of love.
relationship anarchy is another concept worthy of its own post, but in essence it's an ideology aimed at abolishing the standard hierarchy of relationships (in the USA, depending on who you ask, its typically friendship < family < romantic partnership or friendship < romantic partnership < family) and allowing everyone the autonomy to define their relationships for themselves.
if i made any mistakes, let me know! and of course i'm willing to answer any questions anyone may have. :-3 thanks for reading my long ass post!
#barking#aromantic#aspec#romance repulsed#aroallo#aplatonic#asexual#aroace#loveless#queer#lgbt#queerplatonic#alloace#queer theory#relationship anarchy#split attraction model#aro#ace#apl#agender#long post
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So many TTRPG people, like yourself, seem to exist in a world where players don't actually enjoy the campaigns they're in, and don't actually like playing with the people they play with, and your whole approach to game mechanics seems like it's about trying to bribe these people to continue playing at a given table.
i have no idea where you get this idea from, I play a bunch of different games - including freeform text rp, fest larps, parlour larps, regular tabletop campaigns, longform play-by-post games and narrative wargames - and I have a lot of fun doing it. I wouldn't be a game designer if I didn't actually enjoy games. The thing is, if you study game design and ttrpg theory seriously, you think about the intent behind design decisions. Game design doesn't just happen by accident, the designer put a given rule in for a reason. So, you ask yourself why the designer made the game the way it did, and what they were trying to achieve.
A significant tool for game design is considering the feedback the game provides; what behaviours that ruleset rewards and what it discourages. (You can apply this analysis to other games, too, like video games). When I'm talking about a bribe, it's in that context; how does the game reward you for doing things, and what things does it reward. (For example, 'scrabble' rewards you for playing words with weird letters in them by making those letters worth more points.)
The thing is, ultimately, every game relies on a simple proposition; that if you volunterily use its rules, you will have fun. You don't need to follow the rules, and you can have fun without them, but the idea is that using the rules will let you have more fun, or a different type of fun, than if you didn't. (For example, throwing a ball around is a bit fun, but if everybody agrees to follow the rules of basketball, you get a different experience that a lot of people prefer). So, the only bribe you're making on the interpersonal, out-out-of-game level (unless something weird is going on) is "if we play this game it will be fun". When I talk about bribes and incentives, it's *inside* the game, after we've all agreed to the game's proposition of "if you use the rules, you will have fun".
Now, what counts as an incentive varies by game. Some, like Warhammer 40k, are challenge-based, and have ways to keep score of success and victory; here, things that signify overcoming the challenge are your incentives; how you get a high score, how you win, etc. Others, like most ttrpgs, are creative-based. What constitutes an incentive within the game's structure is less precisely defined. By and large, though, these incentives tend to be things like increased agency within the game fiction, space for creative expression, and experiencing and learning about more of the game fiction. (In this structure, 'being more mechanically powerful' can be thought of as a way of granting a player more agency, because their actions are more likely to succeed and result in the outcomes that they want. If the mechanical growth is lateral as well as vertical, then how to get more powerful is - itself - a venue for creative expression in what to prioritise, which is also a reward).
In the same way that you have the adage that 'restrictions breed creativity', the same goes for Fun. Limiting your scope from anything-goes freeform by voluntarily agreeing to use a set of game rules can produce similar results. Voluntarily limiting your agency in the fiction according to a set of game rules produces a friction that players of roleplaying games find enjoyable to push against. In this context, a reward structure within a game serves the useful purpose of signposting which direction you should push to get the fun kind of friction. A game which limits your options, and then gives you more options when you engage with certain behaviours, is telling you that those are the intended behaviours. Likewise, a game that limits your options even further when you do something is encouraging you not to do that. This is because game designs are not neutral and universal, they exist to create specific experiences. A game that rewards you by giving you more space for creative expression when you get in a fight - and gives you less space for creative expression when you avoid violence - is one that wants you to engage in violence, because it's designed to be a game where you have fun by fighting. This isn't bribing the players to sit down at the table and play the game; that has already happened outside the context of the game. They have already agreed to the game's offer of 'if you use these rules, you will have fun'. Rather, this bribing is within the game-space, the games mechanics encouraging the players to engage with it as intended, in the way that will be most fun. IE: these incentive structures are a tool the game uses to achieve the promise it makes; they guide the players towards the fun that they volunteered to have. Hope that makes sense. * * * Now, your initial ask is a weird take that's entirely unrelated to anything I've posted, and - particularly from an anon account- oddly antagonistic. I don't know if you're genuinely confused about game design, or arguing in bad faith. Either way, this probably doesn't merit the small essay I've produced, but have one anyway, it's always fun to clarify my ideas in written form.
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i already was seeing a lot of Jason with albinism stuff but there's been a significant uptick in it since the Thalia casting announcement and I wanted to say: please please PLEASE do actual research about albinism if you're gonna make headcanons about Jason being albino. I have already seen so much ignorant and ableist stuff about it because nobody is bothering to do any research and it's really annoying.
A couple of major notes:
There are different types of albinism!!!!! and no i'm not referring to vitiligo or etc. Just straight up albinism there are different types. There are two main types (oculocutaneous albinism types 1 and 2) plus ocular albinism, and then some other types as well that are even rarer. It is also possible to have only partial absence of melanin. (Vitiligo is a form of partial absence/loss of melanin, and often involves loss over time)
Albinism is a lack of melanin/pigmentation. This affects sensitivity to light and UV rays a LOT. Like a lot a lot. (This also applies to vitiligo btw! Melanin protects your skin from the sun, so a loss of melanin even in patches means those areas are more sensitive!)
Skin sensitivity to sunlight does not only apply to when it is sunny out. People with albinism have to take a lot of steps to protect their skin because they are SIGNIFICANTLY more susceptible to sun/UV damage. It doesn't matter if it's overcast, raining, snowing, whatever. They are putting on sunscreen, and they are putting on a lot of it. Sun protection can also come from just covering up. Big hats are also popular choices.
Sensitivity to light also applies in all environments. Transition glasses are common and sunglasses are common.
People with albinism do not have red irises. A lack of pigmentation in irises (referred to as ocular albinism) appears blue, usually a very light blue (less melanin/pigmentation in the eye, the lighter blue it appears). The red appearance comes from more light entering the eye than usual, causing a red eye effect like you see in flash photography except with the naked eye. This can make the iris appear slightly pink/red-tinted and will more often make the pupil look reddish instead of pure black because you are seeing into the eyeball itself and the muscles and veins within it. Not everyone with albinism has blue eyes depending on how much the pigmentation in their eyes is affected, but a lot of people do.
Albinism basically always includes the individual having vision problems, usually low vision or outright being legally blind. They are not completely blind but it is very likely they are legally blind. We're talking very thick glasses (though glasses don't always help because of what causes the low vision), requiring enlarged text, i know somebody who had a little glass block that magnified text underneath it and they used that a lot, etc etc. Depending on severity they may require other assistive devices. Albinism affects the optic nerve, so other eye conditions like strabismus and nystagmus (and more) are also extremely common if not a guarantee (nystagmus is basically always guaranteed).
Nystagmus, for those who don't want to bother googling it, is uncontrollable eye movement in the form of back and forth shaking. Strabismus is when your eyes don't align with each other. These also cause vision impairment.
If you are writing Jason as having poor vision from albinism, he would KNOW he needs glasses. Literally everybody should know he needs glasses/is blind. He would likely be legally blind and would have been pretty much his entire life. He would also almost definitely have other eye conditions as well. (Also rip Jason being raised by the wolves, poor guy is gonna have the WORST sunburn)
People with albinism have different skin tones! And different hair colors! A lack of pigmentation looks different depending on your individual genes and what type of albinism you have! Look up photo references!!!!!
There is also a lot of fetishization of albinism. PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL when you are making headcanons about it, or creating/designing characters who are albino.
Here's a couple of short tiktoks that go over some basic information and other stuff about albinism if visual-auditory learning is more your jam: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] (Kayla_lud has a lot of videos going over information about albinism)
okay now everybody take your notes and go tweak your headcanons yeah? yeah. okay good.
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𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬, 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑨𝑳𝑳 𝑭𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑪𝑶𝑹𝑵𝑬𝑹𝑺 𝑶𝑭 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑳𝑫 . (𝑺𝑴𝑨𝑼 𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑰𝑶𝑵) - 𝐹𝑂𝑈𝑅 (𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑡𝑤𝑜)
𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆 - Once again, we have two parts! Hope you like this one as well and don't forget to go ready the first one ahead of this 🧡
original chapter | series masterlist | main masterlist | taglist | pt 1
yourusername
Red Bull Ring
yourusername Gooooood morning, Austria! I'll be pretending this is a sea of papaya, btw. Wish this bad boy good luck today 🧡
tagged: mclaren, landonorris
landonorris ***good boy! 😉
↪yourusername You don't fool anyone, babe ↪username1 preach, y/n
username2 Lando P1 at Red Bull's home. I'm so ready!
username3 Papaya dom coming!
mclaren Everybody is a papaya fan! 🧡
liked by the author
f1news
f1news It's DNF for Norris in Austria! The McLaren driver crashed with the owner of the house, Max Verstappen, in the Red Bull Ring and was taken out of the race. The RBR driver lost his leadership, but finished P5.
username1 Max Verstappen plays it DIRTY!
username2 I feel so so sorry for Lando. He didn't deserve this 😢
username3 i hope y/n takes good care of our boy
yourusername added to their stories
Caption: A very much needed home time for Mr Norris
landonorris
Silverstone
landonorris Back to Silvo with some family time ❤
tagged: adam_norris_pure_electric, yourusername
yourusername P1 in Ollie's heart 🧡
↪landonorris My love ❤
username1 Olivia content!!!!
↪username2 finally 😫 i missed them so much
username3 i just know lando spent the entire week with ollie bf silverstone
username4 we're all ready for your revenge arch 😈
landonorris
landonorris Silverstone I love you, so many incredible fans out there ❤️ Congrats on the win @.lewishamilton, we’ll review, do better and come get you next time
username1 Just the fact that Olivia dressed as Lando for Silverstone makes me so so happy!
↪username2 she's his biggest fan indeed! ↪username3 Olivia future WDC!
yourusername Always good to see you step on the podium at home 🧡 I'm so proud
↪username3 I love that no matter the result, Y/N is always there to support Lando ↪username4 She's his true biggest fan
yourusername
Mallorca, Spain
yourusername Spain, you are a dream! 🤍 Best summer break ever
tagged: landonorris
username1 THEY WENT ON A HOLIDAY TOGETHER?
username2 i'm considering this a hard launch, btw
↪username3 you always make it weird for them 🙄 clearly they are just best friends having fun together ↪username4 for real! people forget that he's literally her daughter's godfather ↪username5 doesn't mean they can't become a couple eventually btw
username6 good to see that lando is spending time with y/n and olivia ❤ he deserved some family time to recharge
oscarpiastri Enjoy summer break, guys!
↪yourusername Thanks, Osc! Love you ❤ Send love to Lily, btw
maxfewtrell Bring me next time
↪landonorris It's family only ↪yourusername Max is family, idiot
landonorris My girls ❤
↪yourusername Our boy ❤ ↪username7 Stooooop, I love you guys so much ↪username8 The cutest duo ever
landonorris
Mallorca, Spain
landonorris aug 24. sun & things ☀️ family, forever
tagged: yourusername
yourusername Best summer ever ❤ I love you my babies
username1 Stoooop they are the cutest little family, omg!
username2 Lando applying sunscreen to Ollie's face and they posing as a family is everything to me 😭
maxfewtrell That's what i'm talking about, mates ❤
yourusername Ollie says: "Hi, uncle Max. Come have dinner with us" maxfewtrell How can I deny this proposal?
username3 now can we please have a hard launch???
username4 uhmm don't think they are really together, though. lando has taken them on vacations before, it's not like something different happened username5 idk dude, they do seem a little closer after his win in miami and people saw them leaving the party together username6 you keep assuming things and it's very annoying
username7 I'm so ready for the next chapter of this story
⋘ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 // 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋙
#lando norris#lando norris smau#lando norris social media au#lando norris social media#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fic#lando norris imagine#lando norris x you#lando norris x reader#lando norris x y/n#ln4#ln4 fanfic#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#ln4 x you#ln4 x y/n#ln4 x reader#f1#f1 fanfic#ln4 social media au#ln4 smau#ln4 social media
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shidou ryusei x bimbo!reader
c/w . implied female reader, implied smut, fluff, shidou ryusei is crazy for you wc: 1 k a/n . shidou ryusei my beloved. literally obsessed with his crazy ass ugh <3 reblogs and comments appreciated ✧*.
pt 1, pt 2
imagine...
shidou who loves every bit of you. your short pink skirt that shows off your panties every time you jump around, your too tight shirts that show off your body and the way you make him feel like the smartest person in the world.
like - no baby, pikachu is not a real animal.
you bounce off each others energies so well, your dynamic is literally popular jock x popular cheerleader. he'd be at games and look for you in the stands, pointing and blowing kisses in your direction. and you'd return them in fervor, shaking your 'ryu-baby you can do it!!!' sign that was decorated with pink glitter and cut-out hearts.
he once flashed his tits to you while sticking his tongue out. you'd almost returned the favour but your friend stopped you. truly lucky for everyone, cause if you had done that ryusei would , firstly, destroy every camera in that stadium and then give everyone concussions because nobody but him could look at your bahonkers.
shidou who adores how your hands look in his. your acrylic nails that leave a delicious sting whenever they touch him beautifully contrast his own dull short nails that you manicured yourself.
"babe you need to look after your nails! at the very least let me paint a base coat!" you'd pout at him, fluttering your pretty eyelashes at him while holding his hands close to your chest.
usually when you went out together he'd hold you by the waist, but every time you get new acrylics he'd hold you by your hands. he loves playing with your nails, feeling the new textures you'd gotten.
he'll let you paint his nails too, makes you promise to get your painted the colour of his tip.
shidou who tells everyone about his beautiful partner. at this point, everybody in the world knew you were together, with how obnoxious he was about your relationship. in every interview he's able to bring you up. doesn't matter if no one asked him, he'll talk about you.
and he almost always gives them a little too much info.
"what i think of the other team? think they all suck. saw one of them lookin' at m' doll and i was gonna knock 'im out! i mean - i get it. they're fuckin' hot but they're mine."
"o-ok, well-"
"ya'll know about us right? i'm taken by her," he shows a polaroid picture of you he put on the back of his phone. "and she's mine. she's so cute too, almost sued dog treat companies cause she thought they were made from actual dogs."
"yes, let's move on-"
"and look - she painted my nails. painted them the colour of m' eyes."
"alright that's cute-"
"she painted hers the colour of my tip-"
"ANYWAYS."
shidou who loves doing makeup with you. yes he only has to do eyeliner, but he loves distracting talking to you while you get yourself ready to go out.
he absolutely adores helping you put on lip gloss. he has you seat on his lap, a hand holding your jaw while the other holds the applicator. he definitely steals a few kisses first though. wets your lips he says and you just nod along, too dumb to realise that the lip gloss does that for you.
that doesn't mean he doesn't kiss you after applying the gloss though. after making you smack your lips together he dives in like he's going for a goal, sucking and biting your bottom lip. you'd get so angry cause you'll have to clean your makeup up, but he doesn't care too much. he'll just sit there, pink smeared over his lips as you fret over your appearance.
he also loves when you help him draw on his eyeliner. he'll have his chin pressed on your fantastic titties, one of your hands on the back of his head as the other held the liner.
when this happens his eyes always seem to take in your features. the wrinkle of your eyebrows or the way your mouth is slightly open, he loves looking at you.
shidou who has to be pulled back by you every time he gets into a fight. it could be for any reason. they were looking at him funny, they were looking at you periodt, they were getting too close, anything and everything gets him riled up. especially if it involves you. his special little doll he loves so much.
he's got to protect what is his after all.
you'd hold him from behind both hands on his chest as you try to pull him away. "baby they're not worth your time!"
"those fuckers called ya dumb doll! ain't no fuckin' way i'd let that slide!" only he was allowed to call you that. he's growling, dangerous smirk on his face as the veins on his arms and neck stand up. this, you think, is when he's the most sexy.
the only way to stop him is to direct his anger into a different place.
you step closer, pressing your plush breasts against his back, the hand on his chest sliding up to his neck as the other moved to hold his shoulder.
"mm...but baby it's getting really hot here, and i really really want you." you stand on your tippy toes, pouted lips pressing against his ear as you whisper into his it.
his anger almost fully vanishes, gone with the guys who 'insulted' you. now his anger changes to something else, something more...dangerous.
to you, that is. cause you won't be walking for the next few days.
shidou who after tussles with people, lets you nurse him back to health. loves when you play doctor cause he get's all of your attention to himself.
doesn't matter if it's a bruise or if its his cut up knuckles, you tend to all his injuries with loving care. of course, you don't really know what your'e doing but it's the thought that counts! and he won't stop you when you use cute kuromi plasters on his wounds.
yes they are glittery, and pink and cutesy. yes everyone at training talks about how lovesick he looks when he stares at his fingers. but does he care? no.
#x reader#shidou ryusei#shidou x reader#shidou ryuusei x reader#bllk x reader#blue lock x reader#x bimbo!reader#bllk imagines#✧. bllk
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Hello can I request for Rafayel x Fem! reader head cannons (you may add the other guys if you think it applies). It’s sort of angsty but (imo) mainly funny.
Rafayel is making his move, trying to show that he’s genuinely interested in the reader, but to his dismay she’s not getting it. The reader is pretty dense, so at the start she genuinely doesn’t get it. Later on, as Rafayel makes it a bit more obvious, and she picks up on it, but the is in denial. It could a be mix of insecurities, and not wanting to ruin the friendship, but she’d rather assume that he’s being friendly or that he’s just like that because they’ve grown closer as friends. So now the reader is in this weird state of being both dense and in denial while Rafayel is struggling. To top it all off, I think Rafayel would especially be frustrated when he does this nice bordering romantic gesture for the reader and all he gets as a reply is “oh, thanks dude!”
I hope this is all coherent. Thank you and have a nice day!
makes perfect sense!! i love. dense object of affection failing to see affection being given to them grr
Rafayel is rich, famous, and not to mention drop dead gorgeous. He's constantly surrounded by upper society and you just somehow became lucky enough to meet him during a chance encounter and now. somehow, he considers you his closest friend. Any of those things on their own would intimidate you greatly but the fact that he has all of them together makes it hard for you to believe he'll look at you as anything other than his friend.
Rafayel however looks at you and sees the life he wishes to have more than anything. He just wants quiet afternoons with you, to ramble out whatever thoughts he has in his mind, cook and take care of you. At first he was under the impression that his feelings were subtle. He thinks he's a good actor and for the most part he is very good at concealing his feelings but when you don't respond to anything romantic that he does he first thinks he wasn't obvious enough and ups the ante. This makes him become even more obvious to everybody around the two of you except for you for whatever reason.
It's gotten bad enough that he tried to surprise you with the works. Flowers, your favourite treats, some other trinkets that made him think of you all wrapped up in a pretty basket sitting on your doorstep when you came home and yet all he got in response was a string of emojis and a very platonic thank you. He's doing his best not to rip out his hair at how dense you are, finally realising that if he doesn't tell you straight up you'll never recognise his feelings for you.
You on the other hand had noticed that he was getting more romantic with you. You'd begun observing the things he does around other people versus you, knowing that he treats you differently than others by a great margin but also refusing to attribute such behaviours with a romantic intention. After all, why would he pick you out of literally anybody in the world that he could have?
You two are spending the evening together as per usual, Rafayel insisting you come over for dinner because he's received an exceptionally fresh batch of fish tonight and you absolutely have to try some. Conversation flows easily over the sound of your cutlery against the glass and you can't help but notice the soft look in Rafayel's eyes. It's as though he's dropped all his walls just for you in this moment, cheek resting against his palm as he listens to you speak.
"You really don't know how I feel about you?"
Your eyes widen as he speaks for the first time in a while. You were going on and on about something and he was more than happy to just listen to you do so, sitting back in his chair as he crosses his arms. You decide to play more dumb, biting back the doubt in your mind that he actually means what you hope he does.
"I don't know what you're talking about," you laugh, taking another bite of the food.
"Do you really think I'd do all of this for just anybody?" he asks with a chuckle, gesturing to the table.
"I - I mean we're close friends, aren't we? That's what I thought this was," you stutter, averting his gaze.
"We've been close for a while and you told me yourself I'm your best friend. You keep people at an arm's length and you just seem so lonely I don't want to even think about anything that could ruin our friendship."
You ramble a little, Rafayel carefully considering your words as you continue give him excuse after excuse as to why he wouldn't return your feelings for him.
It doesn't take him long to get fed up, scoffing a little as he comes around the table to stand beside you. He slips his arms around your shoulders, sighing happily as he nuzzles his face into your neck.
"You're really dense, did you know that?" he says against your skin, looking up at you.
"I do so much for you and you still don't know how I feel about you," he whines a little, resting his hands on your shoulders.
"I just didn't want to get ahead of myself," you finally admit, mind spinning from how close he is to you right now.
"Well, you aren't getting ahead of yourself at all. If it takes you even more to finally believe me then I guess I can keep going."
Despite the supposed annoyance in his voice you can tell by the way he slumps against you that he's glad the two of you are finally on the same page. You can't help but press up against him closer, putting a hand on one of his and rolling your eyes playfully at his dramatics.
#love and deepspace x reader#lds x reader#l&ds x reader#rafayel x reader#rafayel love and deepspace#lads rafayel x reader
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Kayden and Kartein (separate) husband headcanons please
Kayden:
• Kayden didn't want to make a big deal out of your marriage, so you had a small and quick ceremony with your closest family members and friends
• The fact that you're married doesn't change anything, he's still your good old Kayden
• Whenever he has the opportunity to brag about you, he will do it. "What a coincidence, [Name] my spouse, thinks that too."
• So, what do you think about being a cat? I think Kayden would definitely teach you how to become a cat to sleep with you in the sun together
• Kayden doing push-ups while you're sitting comfortably on his back and you're scrolling on your phone
• He would come up behind you and put his chin on top of your head or on your shoulder while you're cooking something
• But he will help you with the cooking on most days. When he's too lazy though, he will just eat cat food and he will convince you to eat it too😭
• When he meets people who are important to you for the first time, he cleans himself up to make a good impression. Like tying up his bun properly and buttoning up his shirt (like he did when he met Jiwoo's mom)
• Kayden is traveling a lot to fight people and he's always asking you if you want to go with him
• If you're accompanying him, he makes sure that you also get to enjoy the location you're staying at instead of just watching him smack random people
Kartein:
• Your wedding ring would be a dainty one and Kartein never takes it off, even when he's working
• Gets mad whenever you get hurt in some way and scolds you to take better care of yourself.
• He even does it when it's just a papercut😭 "Why are being so careless? Do you know how fast this wound could get infected???" Bro would be all up in your face
• He loves matching outfits or at least matching accessories. Since his color scheme is usually white, he loves it when you're wearing bright pieces. That way, everybody can see that you two belong together
• He allows you to help him apply his red lip tint. Which is actually hard to do because that maniac won't stop staring at you
• Whenever you're at Jiwoo's, you help Kartein with the chores like cleaning the cat poop because of ✨️loyalty even in suffering✨️
#eleceed x reader#kayden break x reader#kayden x reader#kartein x reader#kayden break#kartein#eleceed webtoon#webtoon x reader#manhwa x reader#eleceed
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The Gang Have Bath Time
Or;
Headcanons About Everybody's Bathing Routine (SFW)
Lucifer
He likes his showers either very hot or very cold. For Lucifer, bath time is efficient, precise, and quick; not a drop of water is wasted. His showers last exactly 4 minutes and 38 seconds. In that time he washes his face, shampoos, washes his body, and starts brushing his teeth. Teeth-brushing continues at the sink. There's no reason to waste the space or time between the shower and the sink.
Mammon
Mammon is the kind of guy who forgets he's in the shower because he's belting out the classics and the acoustics in the bathroom are amazing. He never takes less than ten minutes in the shower, and he usually takes over fifteen. He likes hot showers and sometimes just stands under the water enjoying himself for the first five minutes he's in there. He also takes his sweet time after showering to do other important things before he leaves the bathroom, like putting on that face cream Asmo gave him or making funny faces in the mirror.
Leviathan
Levi prefers baths to showers. He likes to get fully immersed in the water. How can you really feel clean otherwise? He isn't picky about the water temperature, though he prefers it not to be especially hot. He sometimes hums or has quiet, one-sided conversations while he's bathing. He often gets distracted daydreaming in the tub, but if anyone knocks and yells at him for taking too long, he'll step on the gas and be out in less than three minutes, glaring daggers at whoever was waiting.
Satan
Satan doesn't like showering, so he does it quickly and not always very thoroughly. Get in, get wet, something something soap, get out. He hates the feeling of having wet hair so much that he let Asmo blow dry it once. (Only once. He didn't make that mistake again.) If he thinks he can get away with skipping a shower, he will.
When he was newly created, he refused to bathe. He would not do it. That looks like it sucks. No thanks. So all of his brothers besides Lucifer and Asmo went on strike and stopped bathing until he couldn't stand it anymore and hopped in a shower. Now he understands why it's necessary.
Asmodeus
Asmo, obviously, spends the most time in the bathroom by a pretty huge margin. Since he has his own bathroom, this doesn't cause problems with his brothers, so he'll spend upwards of an hour luxuriating in a rosewater bath and applying a whole cabinet of skincare products. Not because his skin isn't flawless, but you know what they say: an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of Botox. He's extremely thorough in how he cleans himself, and if you're curious, you can ask him, and he'll give you a blow-by-blow description of the entire process, lingering lovingly on each body part.
Beelzebub
Beel thinks showers are fine, but if he was left to himself, he'd definitely forget to take them half the time. Belphie or Lucifer usually remind him when it's time he needs to shower, then he goes and does it without a complaint.
Beel likes relatively cool showers, and he doesn't spend any unnecessary time in the bathroom. Sometimes he'll forget to shampoo, but who cares, right?
Belphegor
Belphie is very ambivalent about bathing. He's annoyed when he has to do it, but when he does, he'll hole up in the bathroom for an hour and soak in the tub. About 4 out of 5 times, he'll fall asleep, which frustrates Beel because that's how people drown, Belphie. He likes nice, warm baths best, but sometimes he'll take a hot shower when he needs to feel more awake.
Diavolo
Diavolo sings in the shower, loudly and not particularly well. It's a few precious minutes he has to relax over the course of a very stressful day of putting everyone else's needs above his own. His showers would be unbearably hot even for most demons, but for him, they're the perfect temperature to unwind. He doesn't dawdle, but he doesn't force himself to move too quickly either. He appreciates how to most effectively use his time, and a few extra minutes in the bathroom each morning can keep him alive for an extra half hour of work in the evening.
Barbatos
Barbatos is always immaculately clean, but has never been seen to bathe. Scholars are not quite sure how he does it.
Solomon
Solomon forgets to shower fairly often, since he gets distracted by much more important things, like testing out a new incantation or experimenting in the kitchen. He prefers a quick cleanliness spell to a full shower if he thinks he can get away with it, but it's a little like skipping a shower and just applying deodorant; it helps, but how much, really? When he does take a conventional shower, he likes the water to be cool.
Simeon
Simeon showers at the same time every night. He likes the water to be nice and warm, but not hot, and he uses fruit-scented soap and shampoo. His showers take just about five minutes, and he spends the time humming to himself and planning the next day.
Luke
Luke would like you to know that he takes showers, not baths, thank you very much, because he is not a child, but a thousand-year-old celestial entity with enough dignity to clean himself without a rubber ducky by his side. (Doth he protest too much? Probably.)
#obey me#obey me hcs#obey me headcanons#obey me lucifer#lucifer#obey me mammon#mammon#obey me leviathan#levi#obey me satan#satan#obey me asmodeus#asmo#obey me beel#beel#obey me belphegor#belphie#obey me solomon#solomon#obey me diavolo#diavolo#obey me barbatos#barbatos#obey me simeon#simeon#obey me luke#luke#bathtime#just for fun#dthc
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Business 101
⊹ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 ⊹ : pwp (porn with plot) - mdni - Boss&Husband Nanami x Assistant&Wife fem!reader - office sex - table sex - oral(f! receiving ) - rough sex - overstimulation - missionary - praising - dirty talk - lmk if I missed any tags...
AN: hope y'all enjoy :)
Working with Nanami was something. Being his wife was another. Just be ready to accomplish both roles...
Imagine being nanami's assistant. And by the way also his wife. Yes you are, but not in the precinct of the company. No at work you're just his assistant and only his assistant. A woman that applied like many other to take on the job of working with one of the hottest, richest man in the city, went through habitual examination and was luckily and impartially picked based on the length and experience of your resume and definitely not based on the quality of your blowjobs... External romantic interaction cease to exist the second the anyone walks through the main hall. That's what the rules dictate.
But everybody knows Nanami Kento doesn't give a a fuck about the rules imposed by his father decades ago. You the first. The only rules you had to follow were his. So when your husband— Sorry. When your boss, who happens to really like you, has a problem. A very urgent family meeting out of state which obliges you to attend all his meetings for him via zoom, you have no choice but to accomplish your duty as the perfect assistant and help him figure it out.
Goof thing you had gotten the privilege of being trained by Nanami. He taught you everything you had to know to be his perfect assistant. He called it 101, the basics. Somehow you were expecting to actually learn things, but this wasn't so bad anyway. Nanami didn't need to teach you how to remind him of meeting, classify and range his documents. No he only needed you to help him lift the stress off his shoulders. Take on his anger. And so that's what you learned.
How to multitask. Pay attention to the conference while stroking his cock under the desk. How to be keep composure. Letting no hints whatsoever of what was really happening behind the camera during online conference calls. How to follow a schedule. Managing the 15 minutes that separated a meeting from another.
The first notion was easy, you were already skilled at looking your upmost innocent while doing the vilest thing. However today's class was harder.
So you've been sitting at his desk for the past 3? 4 hours maybe. Going through meeting after meeting. Mic ON. Luckily for you, camera OFF. Nanami says you can only have one of those two off at all times. To look attentive he says. Distant voices echo in your head but nothing stays in. You're too distracted.
Head thrown back, legs widely spread, seat drenched and your— boss no not husband. Your boss, face deep between your thighs... See there wasn't really any family meeting that required him to fly out of state. You knew that because you were his assistant in charge of all his affairs and among other things, his schedule. But who could ever blame or even dare to question him ?! He was very busy man but also had a private life. And really what was the most important? Listening to boring old men converse about trading and the color of their tie ? Or reunite with your gorgeous pussy he'd already missed for a whole 24 hours ? The question is quickly answered.
Hence why his seat was soaked with your cum, his clothes damp from how much you had squirted on him, his tie loose from how long he'd been down there. Your hand tightly gripping his hair, your hips jerking up in desperate attempt to be released from his evil tongue. In vain. He watched in awe as your chest hovered up and down, faster and faster. Your mouth parted but no sound came out. You had learned with the experience he gave you, exactly how to be silent, though it cost you some extra hour in overtime training, you got the hang of it, until you became a fucking pro. Your eyes rolled back yet another time and your eyelids twitched as the most intense orgasm spasmed through your body. Thick white cum leaking onto his tongue. While you gasped, silently inhaling as much air as your body could. You were honestly starting to lose it. Mind oscillating as he kept ravaging your cunt. Greedily and hungrily cleaning up any drop he might have missed. You bit your lip so hard you were actually amazed at how it hadn't bled yet.
"And that concludes our meeting, Ms, Kento you'll tell your boss we deeply regret-" The man's voice was cut off by the slamming of the portable computer.
"You know I don't do overtime darling."
Your legs were widely spread with your feet barely reaching over his shoulder "can't ah believe I had to make this pretty pussy wait so, mhm, so fuck long, I can tell she's been waiting, sooo patiently" he groaned. Slowly sliding himself in and out of your heated entrance. Parting your oversensitive walls appart. Your body had given up a long time ago. Loud mewls echoing through the office. Toes curling again and again. Butterflies rushing in your lower belly as his cock slammed repeatedly into you, fucking the voice out of your throat. He was in so deep, physically and mentally. A little bump apparent on your lower lower belly, disappearing to the rythme of his thrusts. "Mhm, I've missed that voice"
He was completely whipped for fucking you. Addicted. Addicted to your broken voice pleading for a faster release. Addicted to how you behaved, the way your body stretched before him, how you scrambled desperately to hold onto something, searching for a semblance of release even though you knew the only release you could ever get was through him. Addicted to how eager you unknowingly were, how fucking wet you got everytime his angry cock slapped against your wet slit, how your pussy throbbed and yearned to feel him, to suck him in and nuzzle him in the core of you heat. Addicted to your face. Your dazed eyes, the shock that wavered on you expression when he hit so deep, so deep your breath hitched. Hitting your cervix with all his might. Bruising you for pleasure. More than ever he was addicted to seeing how fulfilled you looked each time he filled you with his cum.
So he'll impale you on his cock as invasively as possible, anywhere he can. Just to taste you, to spark those sensation again, those who course through your brain, emptying every thought, worry, and sorrow.
The office was filthy, everything that once decorated it, now spilled across the floor. You wanted to talk and communicate but to no avail. Your brain had short circuated, completely fried. Stupid, confused moans broke out of you when you toes curled once again, your climax hitting you with a new found force. "Feels good?" He asked with a hint of pity. You nodded and moaned fast, so weak and pathetic but adorable. You wished to tell him the extent of your sensations, how troubled you body felt, tired hips still rolling back and forth to ride out the overbearing pleasure that burned through the tip of each and every one of your limbs
The sound was pornographic, the sight was worse, sweaty bodies slamming against each other frantically chasing for release again and again. Pussy and cock hardly distinctable from how coated they were, thick white and slimy substance sticking and dripping onto any available surface.
His cum filled you again, spreading and coating your insides. You watched him through teary eyes, amazed. His neat appearance was now messy, his chest quicky and rose and fell, his lashes fluttered and you could still feel his cock throbbing from how overstimulated he was. You stretched your arms out to hold him. And he laid his head over your heart, listening to your heartbeat settle.
You were in a daze when you heard the familiar beeping of your alarm, signaling you your next meeting was about to start. Kento watched you. A mischievous smile on his face.
"How about I attend this one for you?"
#jjk x reader smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#nanami kento#nanami smut#nanami x you#jjk nanami#kento x reader#nanami x reader#18+ mdni#smut#writingbynova
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𝐈 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊 𝐓𝐎𝐎 𝐌𝐔𝐂𝐇: 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑
pairing: denki kaminari x reader, (hanta sero x reader)
word count: 4.9k
content warnings/things in part four: one paragraph of a sex dream, drinking, petnames(babydoll & pretty girl), reader cannot be trusted keeping secrets when drunk, jealous denki(?), written with a chubby reader in mind, i think that's it for this chapter! /// minors do not interact (in later chapters there will be more smut and more explicit content!!)
a/n: this part took awhile to come out and i'm sorry about that but aaahh this chapter had me squealing at multiple parts while writing! i hope you all enjoy!
summary: it's terrible when you're in love with your best friend. it's terrible that he's in love with someone else.
<< previous | next >> | masterlist / polls for this chapter: 1st & 2nd
"Does that feel good?" You whimper and nod your head. His dick is so big that with every single slow, teasing, torturous thrust he's hitting that special spot that makes you see stars. Your back is arching as you try to get closer to him. He sticks two of his fingers in your mouth and you suck on his digits like they're his cock, he grins that signature grin of his and takes his fingers out, running his hand along your body making you shiver as you feel the cool metal from his rings. Afterwards taking his hand and going back up towards your neck. He's holding one hand to your throat, squeezing gently, and with the other hand he's grabbing onto one of your thick thighs tightly, he chuckles, "need words, pretty girl." Pretty girl? Where have you heard that before?
Your morning alarm wakes you up at that moment and as you wake up you can still picture that dream so vividly. Did... Did you just have a sex dream about Hanta?
That has certainly never happened to you before. You can only remember having a couple sex dreams and they were all when you were younger, you've had three in life up until this point, all about pro heroes, even now it's hard for you to look Hawks in the eye. You've never even had a sex dream about Denki in the past and you hope to god you don't. You wish you didn't have this one either. You know sex dreams don't necessarily mean anything and hopefully you'll be able to brush it off when you see him tonight. It was just a dream in the end, that's all.
It's Friday, the 30th, meaning it's Mina's birthday. Mina's house is massive, it's basically the size of a mansion, the opposite of your quaint flat. You shiver just thinking about how cold it must be in that house and if it isn't cold the heating bill must be huge to keep warm all those empty rooms.
Everybody has tried to take time off to spend the night to celebrate and no doubt get very drunk if Mina gets her way.
A few people from her agency are going to be there but she said she mainly wanted to keep it as her close friends from UA. When she told you that you felt less than thrilled about Friday knowing how close she is to Jirou, you've just seen her last month, do you and denki really have to see her again? It turns out though that Jirou is one of the people who couldn't take time off. Momo tried to get time off as well but she couldn't.
You spend your day leisurely getting ready. You shower when you wake up to try and get rid of the dream you've just had from your mind, after you decide to put a movie on while applying expensive strawberry scented moisturiser that you own for special occasions.
You leave yourself some hours to get ready in the evening. There is a few hours until you're suppose to be at Mina's and a couple hours until Denki's home. You know it's not some fundraiser or charity event and you know that there's not going to cameras or judgemental looks from anyone, you're going to be surrounded by friends but you still want to look nice so you start getting ready, giving yourself plenty of time in case your make up goes wrong if you decide to wear any or your outfit doesn't look right on you.
By the time Denki's home it's later than you expected, he was held up at work, and you're all ready to leave at this point but you stay in your room out of Denki's way knowing that he'll probably be rushing all over the place. You don't want to be in the living room if he comes out half dressed, not after your less than innocent dreams last night. You scroll on your phone aimlessly until you hear a knock on your door, "you in here 'doll?" Denki calls out.
"Yeah, just a minute," you reply back and grab your bag, opening the door. You and Denki unknowingly coordinated, black clothes and a leather jacket, combat boots and matching friendship bracelets that you made out of string when you where children that you both still wear to this day, the friendship bracelets colours influencing your future hero costume colours. You leave the house on time, knowing that if you get there late Mina will complain.
When you ring the doorbell Mina hugs you immediately, "oh my god, babe, you look so good, you're the best, let's get you a drink." You chuckle over the fact she completely ignored Denki. She's already tipsy and it's only seven thirty. She drags you both inside and kicks the door closed behind her.
Ochako is already there sitting on the floor in the living room holding a cocktail in her hand. You grin knowing that you get to see drunk Ochako. 'She's so fun when she's drunk.' You didn't know you spoke out loud until Denki responded back, "you're fun drunk too but that's mainly because you're loose-lipped when you've had a few."
"Hey! I take offence to that y'know and I don't even know what you're talking about." You sit down next to Ochako and Denki sits on the sofa.
"Hi guys," Ochako says smiling at you both. "What are you taking offence too?" She asks curiously.
"How when she's drunk she's loose-lipped," he says back to Ochako while laughing causing her to laugh too.
Mina comes backs to you three, overhearing the conversation, with some drinks in her hand for you and Denki to take, plus another one in her hand for herself.
"Denki is right though. You're not very good at keeping things to yourself when you're drunk. Remember when you admitted that you thought Aizawa sensei was attractive?" Mina says, cackling at your dismay.
"Please let's never talk about that again." You bury your head in your hands, they all laugh.
With the coaxing of the others you end up having a drink, beforehand getting Denki to promise to not let you get too drunk. You make idle chat while nursing your second drink by the time you hear the doorbell ring. Mina gets up to open the door and in walks Katsuki and Toru. You all perk up seeing the two together, you knew Hagakure was coming but you never guessed she'd turn up with Katsuki.
Katsuki turns to you all, scowling, already having his arms crossed, knowing exactly what you're all going to say. "We met each other at the door dumbasses," he explains ahead of time before you even get the chance to question him.
Toru comes up to you and starts talking animatedly. Her energy is so contagious it's impossible not to match her energy as you say hello and ask each other about your day. You don't notice that Denki smiles as he watches you catch up and look so enthusiastic talking to everyone. Soon everyone is sitting around, all settled and talking when some people from Mina's agency come in. Not that long after that Hanta and Eijirou arrive last.
Hanta comes around the sofa to the floor right where you're sitting and sits in between you and Ochako. "Hey ladies, what are you drinking on this fine evening?" He asks peering into your glasses. You and Ochako reply and Hanta grins, "oh what a treat, we get to witness you both drunk tonight."
Denki takes note that straight away Hanta came to you and his knee jerk reaction is that he doesn't like that one bit. Mizuki, one of the people from Mina's agency swoops in and comes into the living room looking for a seat. "You can have my spot if you want. I don't mind sitting on the floor," he responds having his own private short interaction, using it as an excuse to join you on the floor.
"I know right Sero! I can't wait until they get really drunk and they both start spilling all their secrets," Mina says eagerly.
"I don't do that." you defend yourself once again, this time Uraraka nods her head agreeing with you as now she's been lumped in with you.
Hanta grins mischievously after seeing you get defensive at the statement, "I don't know about that remember that time when you told us about how you thought a certain pro hero and old teacher of ours was attractive," he teases you. You tell him to shut up but he carries on, "and didn't you once also admit that you kissed Monoma prior to graduating and then there was that time you-"
You cut him off, "you're all the worse," you groan, "and that was a moment of weakness," you add on referring to your kiss with Monoma. You don't know what he was going to say if you didn't stop him from speaking more and you don't want to.
Laughs fill the room at your mistakes and misery. "You might have to fill us in on some of that guys," someone from Mina's agency announces and Kiri starts filling them in on any of the missed context.
"Sayaka isn't there this perfect girl who just started at the office who would be just right for Sero?" Mina sits up to momentarily kneel leaning towards her, giddy, before sitting back down down.
"That new secretary? She is very cute. I don't know about perfect but I think they'd be good together," Sayaka responds and it's clear that she's the more rational one out of the two.
Hanta stretches out, "what's she like?" He inquires and you vaguely pay attention to what he says and the way his top somewhat lifts up as he stretches but still converse separately with Katsuki about the new issue of a manga that you both are a fan of.
Mina tells him about her hobbies and her appearance. She's thin, with sleek black hair and bright vibrant green eyes. She likes baking, singing, going to the gym and going on walks and hikes, when Mina's explaining all this it sounds like it's been ripped off a dating profile. Following Mina's description you then heard Sero say, "she might just be the one Ashido."
If you were paying full attention to them you would of noticed his kidding tone but you didn't. You whip your head around in shock, "what?"
Hanta's signature grin get's impossibly wider, "I'm only joking but I'm curious why you're so invested." He rests his chin on his palm, smiling toothily.
Denki downs the rest of his drink.
"It's not like I'm interested Hanta. I'm just surprised that you were talking about settling down." Maybe he does want to settle down, you suddenly remember that you'd forgotten to ask Kiri if he knew if Hanta wanted a relationship or not.
"I'm surprised too if I'm honest Sero. I thought you'd be that playboy type forever." Kirishima agrees with your opinion.
"Really?" Hanta looks perplexed. "I go on dates all the time."
"I never thought they were serious. I just assumed that Mina convinced you to go on them," Kirishima explained.
"Mina does convince me but that doesn't mean I don't want a girlfriend."
"I never knew that," Uraraka comments.
"I've got many layers," he responds playfully.
"Like an onion," Denki adds on making you snort and push his shoulder.
"Does that mean I can give her your number?"
"Yeah, if you want. She doesn't seem like my type at all though Mina but you never know."
"Ugh what is your type then?" Mina complains.
Hanta chuckles as replies, "not her."
Hanta flicks his eyes over to you and grins as you catch his eyes you grin back. "I expect another date story Hanta."
He leans close to you and hums tipsily, "of course pretty girl," before leaning back to his original position. Your face flushes fleetingly as you hear the petname he has said to you twice now, three times if you're counting your dream.
Denki shuffles towards you and holds up his drink, taking your attention off what Hanta just called you. You look at him questioningly. "Try it, it's nice. It's some drink that Yaoyorozu brought back from when she went abroad. I think you'll like it," he beams at you and you feel your face heat up at the proximity, you're definitely tiptoeing on the line of drunk now. You doubt you'll like whatever's in the cup, you and Denki have drastically different tastes when it comes to alcohol. Either way though you take the straw and take a sip pleasantly surprised that you like it. Denki lights up even more as he watches your reaction. "See, I knew you'd like it. It's not really my thing, I think it's alright but I knew you'd enjoy it. You should trust me more."
"I always trust you Denks," you take another sip from his drink.
His eyes soften and his voice sounds more sincere and less humorous than before, you're too busy toeing the line to notice his sincerity, "yeah you do, don't you." He softly smiles at you and offers you the rest of his drink.
A little later on in the night most of you are completely drunk, Katsuki, Sayaka and Yukio are the only completely sober ones out of the group. Even Hanta is still buzzed which is uncommon as he's got a fairly high tolerance for alcohol.
"I heard through the grape vine that you hooked up with Tsu," Mina asks Uraraka with a mischievous glint in her eye. That is complete news to you, the last you knew is that Ochako was still hung up on Midoriya, forever waiting for him to make a move.
Uraraka hums while smirking, "a girl doesn't kiss and tell."
"Boooo!" Mina responds and you giggle.
Toru speaks up trying to get more information out of her. "What about the last person you had any kind of sexual moment with?"
"Sexual moment?" Sero snickers.
"I'm trying to be broad here Sero, I'll start, mine was kissing Ojiro." Hagakure states.
"That's not very shocking he's your ex," Mina deadpans.
Toru hushes her and starts speaking again, "do you want to know about Tsu or not?"
"I'll tell you mine as well if you tell us," Mina promises.
"I'll tell you if you all say it."
"No way," you speak up after listening into the conversation but putting in no input. 'Sexual moment?' Would that include what happened to you last night and if it did it is rotten luck. You don't want to admit that you thought about Hanta last night but you know that you've drunk a fair amount tonight and it's plausible that if someone goads you on the matter you would let it slip.
You get up from where you were sitting and wobble while trying to stand up straight, you fetch another drink from the side and plop back down to where you were sitting. Hanta grins while watching you sway. "You alright there?" He says with a teasing tone.
"Shut up," you say, slightly slurring your words.
Hanta looks back at everyone else after looking at you and grinning for a couple beats, "I'll tell you Uraraka. I don't know what counts as a 'sexual moment'," he puts sexual moment in quotation marks and gleefully continues the sentence like previously said and says, "but I had a one night stand about a month ago." Ochako excitedly questions who it was while stumbling over the sentence drunkenly. "Someone from a nightclub."
"Boring," Ochako elongates the 'o'.
"You tell us if it was Tsu then."
"Not telling," Ochako replies cheekily.
"Boring," you copy what she previously said, laughing because of that though her attention switched over to you.
You thought you were able to leave unharmed by her questioning by getting a drink and Sero answering but apparently not, "what about you?"
You play dumb, in hindsight it wasn't the best idea you've ever had but you had three shots at this point, you had drunk whatever denki had given you and you were currently on your fourth usual drink. "About what?"
"You know what."
"I really don't."
"Sexual moment." Ochako replies. This causes Hanta to chuckle again.
There's no way out of it this time. "Oohh, that... I'm not telling." You respond and stick your tongue out.
Ochako doesn't approve of your answer, she keeps asking you and you're too intoxicated to realise that she's being hypocritical.
Because of her constant demanding that you tell her people who previously weren't apart of the conversation look over to you wondering what was happening. Out of panic you quickly mumble, "I had a sex dream last night."
"Who was it about?" Mina and Denki respond at the same time. Mina was practically bouncing with joy wanting to know who it was but Denki's tone was different, his was curious and cautious.
'No one important, it doesn't matter. I answered your question about my last sexual moment.' You thought you answered them out loud when you said that but it seems that instead your mouth said something wildly different to what your brain wanted to say. "Someone here," your eyes widen and you slap your hands over your mouth.
"Oh, really?" Sero smirks at you.
You down your drink and avert your eyes from everyone. "What about you then, huh, Sero?"
Sero laughs, "I've already told everyone."
You pause for a second, furrowing your eyebrows, "oh yeah." Everyone laughs at your expanse and you pout. Your response has piqued everyone's interest. Picking up your drink and going to take a sip of it you remember that you finished it in one go, you look back at Denki and take his drink out of his hand. "I'm in serious need of this Denks." You're unaware of this but he is in serious need of that drink too, he lets you have it of course but his brain is going at a hundred miles per hour. You had a sex dream and it was someone here. He's here... he's not the only one who's here though. His palms are sweaty and he tries to wipe his hands on his jeans inconspicuously as he see's how close you're sitting to Sero. Sero's here too.
"Come on," Uraraka whines. "You've got to tell us!"
"I really don't Ochako." you say flatly.
"If you tell us I'll tell you."
"It could of been about any of you, you're all attractive. Is that an efficient answer?"
"You think I'm hot?" Mina says gleefully.
You groan and lay down on the floor. "You're all terrible people."
"Kaminari! What about you?" Even though she's invisible, Toru is practically gleaming as she gazes at him.
"Yeah, come on. You're just as much of a playboy as Sero, always flirting," Ochako presses.
"Hey! I don't do that anymore. Sero is way more of a playboy than me. I don't even know what my last sexual moment was, it was so long ago."
Hanta smirks against the rim of his glass before drawing it away from his lips, "I don't believe that for a second if it was 'so long ago' you'd remember what it was."
Denki yields, "I guess mine was also a sex dream, I get them sometimes."
"'Sometimes' huh?" Hanta smirks.
Denki's cheeks become tinted red and the tops of his ears are the same as he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. You can't help but think how cute he is when he's all red. Your inebriated brain is trying not to think too much about who those dreams might be about because if you did find out it would be hard to swallow no matter who they're about, even if you know he has no control over the dreams and they don't explicitly mean anything, just like yours didn't.
Your inebriated state can only do so much though as while you try not to think about who they are about you picture yourself in their place. You blink a few times briskly in an attempt to not remind yourself how Denki looks when he's shirtless around the house or at the beach or when he's just come out of the shower, water dripping down his chest, lean body that you've gazed at more times than you'd like to admit and his happy trail that matches the colour of his hair. Faint freckles that dust his shoulders and surprisingly built upper arms. You've never seen the rest of his body though, you wonder what- you shake your head rapidly to try and stop thinking about him, this time more successful than the excessive blinking.
You opt to save Denki from any more further teasing from Hanta, even if your decision was mostly a selfish one to take your mind of his answer. "What about you Kiri?"
He makes a sound of confusion, "huh?"
"What was the last time you did something sexual with someone?"
"A sexual moment," Hanta adds on with an easygoing smirk, subsequently making you laugh.
Kirishima responds by telling you all it was his ex-girlfriend. You're not particularly stunned by this but others are even if they broke up close to a year ago. Kiri has never liked the idea of flings or sex without feelings, he's always labelled himself as a romantic.
Bakugou vehemently refuses to answer the question when directed at him.
Later into the night you and Yukio are discussing the last gala, both of you attended but neither of you saw each other. Yukio was only drinking water tonight and because of that he was still more put together than others, including yourself, whose outfits were all askew by now and hair in disarray. Yukio has a very comforting presence with his warm smile and snow white hair. His slate gray eyes making him look half a decade older than he really is due to all the stress of hero work. Maybe that's one of the reasons why he notices the same things you do, perhaps you're both equally overworked and need a break.
"There was rather a lot of photographers that night, wasn't there? More than normal I thought, it was fairly odd." You nod your head in agreement, you thought the same thing. Maybe you should both take some time off at your respective agencies. "Hopefully they caught my good side though," he jokes and you share the same sentiment, only this time it's genuine and not a joke like him. You'd hate if they took bad angle photos that showcase your insecurities. Your body self esteem has been decent of late, you don't want some paparazzi to make it lousy.
After more alcohol and even more gossiping and chatting somehow you get dragged into doing karaoke, singing duets with Kirishima and Hagakure at the top of your lungs. They're better singers than they let on, you on the other hand not so much. At the best of times it's not your forte but when you're slurring your words the skill set difference becomes even more noticeable.
"Has anyone told you that you look beautiful tonight?" Sero grins at you, always the flatterer. Mina was the only one to mention your outfit and your appearance. After spending so long on it it's wonderful hearing someone else compliment you and also say you look good.
"Not as beautiful as you fine gentleman," you say play along, laughing. Hanta does look good, just like everyone else, wearing a grey button up with jeans and an orange and silver chain link drop earring, really tying in the whole casual alternative look that he normally has outside of his hero persona.
"Thank you I try my best," he teases you. You lean on his shoulder and snicker calling him a dumbass. "Careful there you're starting to sound like Bakugou."
"Oh goodness anything but that!" You joke.
Katsuki and Toru are standing pretty close together and you wonder if it was truly a coincidence that they came to the door together. Coincidentally your intoxicated brain ignores the fact that Kirishima is standing even closer to Bakugou on his other side.
You don't know what they're talking about but you caught a couple words 'group, beach' however you may have misheard because it also sounded like 'grope, bitch.' You believe it's likely the first set of words you heard because you highly doubt they'd say the other words, unless they were quoting something someone said, like Mineta.
No one's doing karaoke anymore but music is still playing in the background, not too loud to not have conversations but loud enough that you can still dance and sing to the songs. "Denkiiii, dance with me!" You grab Denki's wrist and try and pull him up with you so you can dance.
Denki chuckles and doesn't move, "you'll fall over if you dance babydoll."
"That's not true!"
"Yes it is."
"Well that's more of a reason for you to dance with me so you'll catch me," you giggle trying to pull him up again, unsuccessfully.
Instead of letting you pull him up, he pulls you down making you shriek. You land right next to him so close your foreheads almost bash into one another and he laces your fingers with his while you were falling down. "Meanie," you pull a face. Unlinking your fingers from his, you wrap your arms around his neck and whine trying to convince him against the crook of his neck, "come on! Dance with me." You try and pull him up again while still holding onto him but from where you're sitting the only thing you manage to do is to get Denki to wrap his arms around you. You're currently still draping your arms around him and he's wrapped his arms around your plush waist tightly like he's afraid to let you go.
You stay like this for some time, holding each other, you can't tell if the hug lasted for five seconds or five minutes. When he separates from you he makes sure you've also separated from him so he can look at you properly and make eye contact. Denki smiles at you fondly, "promise you'll try not to bump into anything or fall over? I've been drinking as much alcohol as you, I might not be able to catch you. We might just end up falling down together."
"Sounds perfect," you reply happily pulling him up by linking your hands again, this time he lets you pull him up and you successfully and safely dance together, without falling over, until you're out of breath, him spinning you around and the both of you dancing up and down.
When it gets even later in the night you're getting more and more drunk and because of that you are in fact becoming more talkative and more likely to blab about your secrets and feelings like everyone said. You should leave soon before you spill anything but you're talking to Ochako and tell her that you thought she still liked Midoriya.
"I'm just stunned that's all. I didn't realise you were into Tsu." You grab hold of her hands and slightly shake them up and down, leaning close to her so she can hear you over the music. "I'm so pleased. I thought you'd like Deku forever," you whine at her and pout. "You're the best. I love you, you know, and you deserve better than to wait years for Midoriya to confess."
Ochako giggles and shakes your hands up and down with you. "I know," she whines back. "Deku's great and all but I'm so glad I've got Tsu now."
"So you and Tsu really are a thing?" You gasp. Ochako beams at you and nods her head. You squeal in giddiness.
"If we're here telling secrets you've got to tell me about Kaminari. It's pretty obvious that you're dating but I still want to hear you say it," she tells you. "I don't want you to ask me to be your bridesmaid before you even let me know you're together."
"What are you jabbering about?" You grumble starting to fiddle with your fingers bashfully.
"Come on, it's not fair if you don't tell me otherwise. I don't know why you were acting so elusive earlier about the sex dream you had, it was clearly about Kaminari."
Your face heats up at the implications and drunken images flash through your mind about Denki in bed for the second time tonight. Is it that obvious about your true feelings? "I swear there's nothing going on. He's my best friend. That's all."
"I don't believe that." Uraraka crosses her arms and looks at you.
"I'm telling the truth, Denki's been into Jirou since UA and my dream last night wasn't even about him."
A smirk appears on her face at this new founded information and the unfamiliar tone you used that she didn't recognise as you spilled. "ooh, who was it about then?"
"This might be the worst drunken experience of my life," you mumble.
Ochako laughs, "I'll get you to tell me one day. I'll get you to tell me everything."
"I'll never tell," you respond adamantly.
You turn your head to look at Hanta, Denki, and Eijirou who are all engaged in conversation. A gentle smile appears on your face.
taglist: @stabbygabyy @boreaswrites @cherribxio @st4r-girl-official @xnorthstar3x @kelly-fushiguro345
#denki kaminari x reader#hanta sero x reader#mha x reader#bnha x reader#denki x reader#hanta x reader#˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ i talk too much (series)#♡ mine / writing#bnha smut#kaminari x reader#sero x reader#chubby reader#chubby reader smut#bnha x chubby reader#mha x chubby reader#sero x reader smut#bnha x chubby reader smut#bnha x reader smut
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Saw it mentioned, have to wonder >.>
Just? HOW Ecto-Contaminated ARE the Fentons? Maddie and Jack?
We as a Phandom rather rightfully give them flak for their neglectfulness and single minded pursuits... but SHOULD we be?
Or has that ship long since sailed?
Even before the portal, they were working with countless samples. Were EXPOSED to the prototype, alongside Vlad. Not directly. Not full, standing in front of it, exposed.
But?
Isn't radiation still radiation? They were IN the room. Less then about a yard or two away. And on top of that they NEVER stopped researching.
How much Ectoplasm particulates have the breathed in? Absorbed through skin contact? EATEN?
Those weenies? The ones that came alive? Have they eaten those INCREDIBLY TAINTED meats? What about subtly tainted things? Things that got Ectoplasm on them, but didn't meet the threshold for reanimation?
What about cups? It's a viscose substance. Does a dishwasher REALLY clean those cups of every trace?
How... how many YEARS of build up, have accumulated in their systems?
Jack Fenton kool-aid man's his way though WALLS. His wife moves faster and with greater agility then a woman her age should rightfully be ABLE too. They lift weapons, with ease, that normal humans would buckle under.
Their son survived the impossible.
Was that house a petri-dish of ecto-contaminations? Who checked in on them. Who would even NOTICE if the local "crack-pots" were slowly... slipping. Grins getting too wide. Eyes too bright. Minds too strange. Becoming... Obsessive.
Who would notice if they started to lose track of time. Of meals. Of their daughter. Then their son. Lost to the BEAUTY of RESEARCH. Of SCIENCE. Ghosts.
They would shake themselves out of it. Again and again. Where is their daughter? Their kids? Weren't they about to make lunch? Why is it dawn? Why are the kids sleeping on the floor? They would frown and promise themselves they'd do better. They're parents now!
They love their children.
More then ANYTHING. Their kiddos are the best thing to ever happen to them. They love them so, SO much. So why? Why are they having such a hard time remembering? Focusing? Why do they keep getting distracted?
Consider another father. Box Ghost.
Which is more important to him? Lunch Box or Boxes?
What a cruel, unspeakable thing to ask. You'd be kicked out of any haunt you dare voiced it in. The core of his soul and the greatest thing he's ever made, his bestest baby girl. He would tear himself apart, trying to chose.
The father in him would not hesitate, his daughter, every time. But the GHOST in him? Boxes, with out question. Like a glitching, error filled, feedback loop. One but the other, but the one, but the other! Until something gave or it killed him.
Or until the question no longer applies.
Do you think Jazz realized her parents... weren't well? She wouldn't realize WHAT was wrong for over a decade. But? Watching them fight themselves, fight each OTHER, confused and distressed...
Which is more important? Their Kids or Their Research?
Human enough to fight their Obsessions, but Limnal enough it causes severe distress. Their kids, they insist. Their KIDS! They argue! Research, Research, Research. Hisses something they can't control, wrapped around their brains and nerves and SOULS.
A compulsion they can't fight.
And Jazz watches it eat up their family and lives. She doesn't understand. She hates it. She goes to the library and on the computer and all she can find to compare it too, is "mental illnesses". It's tearing her family apart. Making her parents break promise after promise, even when they TRY. Making EVERYBODY cry.
She wants to fix it. When things get broken in their house, they FIX them. She can too. She tries for YEARS.
But are the Fentons broken? Or are they just... no longer quite human. Is the tragedy not that they got "sick" so much that they were left alone with innocent children who were NOT?
A ghost can not help, being what it is. And what is a Limnal? If not a very, VERY Ghostly Human? Box Ghost is an excellent father to Box Lunch. But would he be an equally good father to a human toddler? Would ANY Ghost?
They would TRY. Would love them and read parenting books. May even successful raise them. But it would not have been wise. Nor without great struggle. We can all admit that. There is far more to raising someone then just loving them.
And never mistake it, the Dr's. Fenton love their children. Would burn heaven and earth for them. March the gates of hell and kick open the doors to heaven. Even file their taxes. Make small talk.
But should they have been TRUSTED with children? Should ANY severally Limnal? I argue... not without a mitigating force. A nanny, a caretaker, Grandma. Uncle Peter, who's getting back on his feet, might have spider powers, who's to say. SOMEBODY.
Because let's be real. If Jazz had not been as likely Limnally inhanced as she was? Unusually mature and nimble? That situation was a powder keg. She kept them from dying from injury or starvation. Kept Danny from her parents dangerous research and devices.
If EITHER of them had died?
Well... ask yourself this: What would happen to Box Ghost, if a Box killed his daughter?
@hdgnj @nerdpoe @stealingyourbones
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Deep dive on Victor and his possible past + curse
This man is as attractive as he is mysterious and the curiosity is killing me, so I just need to let out some thoughts.
** I'm going to be referencing some translations and posts so I'll link them and their OP's (I'm too afraid to tag hehe but they deserve all the love and appreciation🩷)
Be aware of JP and EN spoilers
First, what are some things we know and are safe to assume when it comes to Victor? He's the co-founder of Crown and the Queen's Aide. I think it's safe to assume Victor is the oldest in Crown; Harrison calls him an old goat, he acts like a mom, and I believe in the Valentine event the dynamic between Harry and Victor was labeled child-parent. Through this detailed post that @/kurishiri made we can guess that Victor is 30/32+ years, which I have to subjectively note is very hot. William was 14 when he was invited to the castle where he met Victor, meaning that Victor has been associated with the castle for at least 14 years. Was he already the Queen's Aide back then? High-likely, yes.
But how long exactly has Victor been the Queen's Aide? And how did he become one in the first place? One thing that stands out to me is this dialogue in Victor's Wicked Little Secret event:
For context, Victor is sharing why he started doing magic tricks. He explains it's traced back to the queen and how she does them as a reminder of how difficult but precious it is to get someone to smile.
Of course, it can be that Victor simply didn't go with the queen to the slums that day or that she told him about it, but I like to think about the possibility he didn't know the queen at this point but knew about it anyways because he was a kid in the slums. It might explain why he doesn't necessarily pay attention to status and why he treats people such as the villagers and Kate as his equals despite being the most powerful man in the country. Does he stay humble due to perhaps having experienced the lack of power, money, and status to a severe degree? And is the Victorian slums the reason why he suffered enough pain for a lifetime?
@/Reccyls translated an event in which the suitors are meant to win over Kate's heart by having her give the suitor a heart-shaped necklace. Jude, Roger, and Alfons are being very proactive while Elbert, William, and Victor are drinking tea. The nobles team points out there's no rush because it's the end of the day that matters. Victor agrees but then suggests they're also probably laid back because they are rich. It might be nothing but if you ask me, that's pretty self-aware and honest for a rich person. Not every rich person will realize having money does influence you, and not everybody loves to point out the frowned upon behavior that comes along with money, especially when it applies to yourself. So, it's a very small thing to say and I might be reading too much into it, but I think the people who know the affect of money better than anyone are the people who weren't born first class.
Victor continues to point out what makes William and Elbert rich, but right when he wants to talk about himself he cuts himself off (🖕/affectionately) . It confuses me because sir, you are the Queen's Aide. Why is it a mystery that you're rich? Elbert asks if Victor comes from nobility but we never get a yes or no answer to that. So is there still a chance he might have been born in a rich family? Yeah, but I'm not a strong believer of it. Victor is known to cook and sew, and I don't remember where or when but I believe he said somewhere that if he can do it himself he won't let the maids do it. Does that sound like the skills and the mindset of a man born in nobility during the Victorian age? Not to me, so here comes my next thought: what if queen Victoria has taken young Victor under her wing?
I don't know how it would necessarily end up like this, though. But I was thinking: it didn't go unnoticed by us that Victor and Victoria's names are scarily similar to each other (it's like yeah whatever we're a bit like Sherlock ourselves yknow💅). What if his name was quite literally inspired by the Queen's name in the story itself? Maybe Victor chose it or Victoria gave it to him.
Because @/shatcey recently made a post pointing out that William said "the man who calls himself Victor." I heavily agree with her that the phrasing is suspicious, mostly because of Victor as a character.
If he is from the slums then perhaps he's an orphan who doesn't know his actual name, or maybe he took up another name? If Victor is not his actual name, it might explain why we don't have a last name in the first place. Also, @/otomefiend translated the Black Wedding event when it came out in JP. While the official English translation uses "business smile" to describe Victor wearing a smile to bury his dark comment, I like her translation saying "Victor, the Queen's Aide' expression" much better. I genuinely could go into depth about this but I sadly digress. It makes me think back on the summary reccyls did for the first christmas event wherein Victor was wondering if he should give a "Victor-like" response.
Naturally, it can also mean he just has different persona's connected to his masks as this is a reoccurring theme and topic in his content. Victor said in the Between Villains' epilogue (translated by otomefiend) that he wants to be seen as the gentle Queen's Aide by Kate, so after showing a bit of his darker side it's natural he goes back to his gentle side that still implies distance to ease Kate. However, that doesn't make any of his masks a lie or someone he is not. Important disclaimer to put out there because this doesn't have to be proof that Victor isn't who he says he is. The phrasing just reminded me of this.
So, it wouldn't be a deep dive if I didn't talk about the theory that Victor might be the queen. Harrison has pointed out twice that Victor lies a lot. I think it'd be so funny if Harry is going to be like "stay away from Kate you old goat >:(" in Victor's route and then William is going to be the complete opposite like "listen to your desires and get a room already :)"
I think we might have seen the queen once, but it's canon that people have cosplayed her so who says it doesn't happen all the time? Victor only has to say the Queen's safety is in danger and then someone will fill in. I think it's safe to assume Cybird is making us doubt whether the queen is alive on purpose and what does that say about the mystery? You don't create mystery when there's nothing to reveal.
In Wrapped in Wicked Romance, something broke from the Queen's tea set only for Victor to reveal that, surprise, it's his own set! During the first anniversary epilogue (talked about by shatcey here) Kate gets told the queen is waiting for her in Victor's office and surprise, it's Victor! Or how in Between Two Villains it's mentioned how Victoria doesn't seem human because of the dedication she has as queen but then the doubt of humanity is a theme in Victor's events as well. Or how in Harrison's route Jude is reading the morning's newspaper and it mentions a criminal situation and surprise, Victor shows up from behind and says the queen ordered a mission related to it... almost like he overheard the news and decided on the spot it had to be dealt with.
To be honest, I don't know what to think when it comes to the queen. If she's actually dead, I think she might have died from an illness and then the veil + private persona might have been crafted to make it easier to look like she's alive (a bit like this one thing in Ikemen Prince). Why she should give the impression of being alive? I don't know, there's a high chance I am reaching. Maybe the queen is very healthy and happily living her introverted life.
Going back to another translation by reccyls, here Victor ends on the note that even if he has feelings for Kate he can't offer anything as "I belong to her majesty/ Victor belongs to Victoria." Ignore that you can call me the wicked witch of the west with how green of envy I turned, but this stood out to me a lot.
I think it shows an incredible amount of dedication and loyalty, and I read it in two ways. If Victor was saved by Victoria, it might be that he feels like he owes her himself, or perhaps a deal/promise was made? But, in a way, I also read it as Victor belonging to England. His loyalty towards queen Victoria is loyalty towards the safety and well-being of England, a land he's passionate about keeping safe.
The relationship between Victor and Victoria is lowkey fascinating to me because if she's still alive, they have been together for so many years. Victor always talks so positively about her so even though we barely interacted with her, I became to really like and admire ikevil!Victoria. Victor is also the only one who we know speaks with the queen directly. For the tea set mentioned earlier, Victor said he replaced them with his own because he is known to break them when he and the queen are drinking tea. Victor braids the queen's hair and helps her with fashion. William even said in this event translated by @/judesmoonbeauty that the queen knows everything about Victor.
We've almost reached the end but the last thing I want to talk about is Victor's birthday event translated by @/archiveikemen. Victor murders a bunch of criminals with what I assume is his curse or something in that direction. He commands them to succumb to his wickedness and the people essentially kill themselves with a peaceful expression. William makes a comment about it, saying these men look as if almost possessed by a God. Victor thinks to himself it's like saying "Her Majesty The Queen" was no God, and then he says humans can never be God. To be honest, I'm slightly confused because I feel like this can mean different things. When Will makes his comment he's speaking about the peaceful faces, so I don't think he's talking about how the criminals were unhealthily worshipping the queen but I assume he's talking about Victor's ability.
One of the reasons why I think it's a curse is because of this post Shatcey made. One of the screenshots translates to Victor saying he doesn't want Kate to end up lying at his feet with a happy face. It sounds an awful lot like what happened to the criminals in the event. Victor worrying about Kate's fate like that makes me believe it might has something to do with the fate of his possible curse. Think about it: Kate essentially gets dragged in every cursed fate of the suitors and if Victor is another cursed individual, it's high-likely his curse is related to death.
There must be something special going on, though. Is Victor's curse like any other but kept a mystery because something about Victor's identity should stay a mystery? Or is there actually something special about his curse or whatever ability he has? Because his birthday event convinced me he's not an ordinary human. However, something special must be going on for this to be a mystery.
Funny story but for a while I thought that if Victor is cursed it might be Ursula from The Little Mermaid. Sometimes you can see Easter eggs of the suitor's curses back in the outfit designs so when I looked at Victor's outfit, I saw he has scrubs on his jacket (reminding me of fish) and something that looks like knots/ropes (reminding me of sailboats), plus the deep blue and black aesthetic still reminds me of the dark sea. There is also a part in the christmas event where Victor thinks to himself he has sacrificed his human soul to death in order to get what he has now, and who has a song about doing business with poor unfortunate souls?
In this flashback translated by reccyls, I think we are witnessing the moment he's sacrificing his soul. He has a choice that'll impact him as a person greatly and I feel like it's safe to assume he's close to dying, so it'd make sense if this part of his life triggered a curse related to death. Also, his flashback says "the path of becoming the dust of history" which is another reason why I think Victor might have come from the slums, or at least not nobility. It sounds like Victor himself thought he had left no footprint on the world, which actually aligns with his character if you read the translation of Will saying Victoria knows Victor better than anyone till the end.
But I got sidetracked a lot. I think the comment Victor made about the queen in his birthday event is another micro-hint. I sometimes feel like I'm reaching like a clown trying to figure out if Victor isn't keeping up the idea the queen is still alive. It almost feels like having a gaslighting lover; am I picking up clues or am I picking up clowns makeup? Wouldn't it actually be a possibility for Harry to help Kate unreveal the mystery that is Victor? Because while they're not the most interactive dynamic, I feel like Harrison will at least have a little role in Victor's route. As I mentioned before, Harrison pointed out twice that Victor lies a lot: one time in his own route and the second time in the Christmas event. He goes a step further in the latter one, saying that if Kate takes the first step towards Victor's darkness, he'll open her eyes to the truth. Plus, Harrison already had his "when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth" moment in his route so I think it makes sense for the Sherlock lover who is a walking lie detector to play a role in the most mysterious suitor who is a walking liar's route.
The actual last thing I want to talk about (guess I'm a liar like Victor) I notice that in events wherein Victor and Kate are together, they declare their love in an interesting way. Since death seems to be a huge part of Victor that possibly is connected to a curse, the two put focus on loving each other even after death. I'm curious if this is part of Victor's possible fate or if this is just a romantic way of thinking that fits Victor's theme. Either way, I think it's perfect to end on this note.
So, I think this is mostly what I wanted to get out. Thank you for having read all the way through and please share any theories you have! And spread love for the people mentioned in this post because I'm eternally grateful for everything they translate and post🩷
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Ruined
A/N: My reader will ALWAYS be black. I may not mention any defining features, but the nice young lady getting her back broken will always be black. Thank you.
The mere thought of making love to you drove Erik wild.
Of course, y'all had sex. He would gladly ruin you on any surface anytime and any place but making love is something you two have yet to do and he thinks it's time.
You've been dating for a while and he wants to switch it up in the bedroom. To prove to nobody else but you that he's an attentive lover. He knows he doesn't have to since you initiate the majority of the quickies you two have, but he wants to. He wants you to know that he loves and cares for you and bringing you to three earth-shattering orgasms back to back on the kitchen counter after your annual date night isn't enough for him.
The night was going amazing. You thought the two of you ended the night by sharing a dessert, but to Erik, the night was just starting.
Y'all got home and rose petals leading to the bedroom (courtesy of T’Challa). He takes you to the room and unzips your dress then pushes you onto the bed and takes your heels off. He rubs your feet and kisses your freshly manicured white toes when he finishes.
"Erik, what is all this? The rose petals? The foot massage? Even though I did love that,” you laugh a little, “yeah you have gotta do that more often but still, this is a lot."
He chuckles and responds, "Baby I want to show you that you are one of the most important women in my life. You make me so happy and I don't think I can wait for another second to prove it to you."
Just as he's about to stand to take off his shirt, you stop him. "E... Before you say anything else I have to make something clear. I'm not ready to get married. I love you I do but we've only been together for a year. That's not very long to get engaged."
Erik genuinely laughs because he can see how you would think he's about to propose.
"Bae, I would never propose while you're in your bra and panties. It would be so much more special and you'd never see it coming." He winks as he stands and kisses your forehead.
He strips his shirt off and stands you up so he can take your place sitting on the bed, “Yeah knowing you, you’d do it at a crazy time like after we just got done fucking or something and I’ve been fucked so dumb that I ain’t got a choice but to say yes.”
He laughed and pulled you into his lap, “That actually sounds like a good idea.”
“Babe don’t take that shit serious. It was a joke! I would so make you-” he cut you off before you go on a tangent about how you’d make him propose again.
"Look forward, baby girl."
And there it was, the stand-up mirror you jokingly suggested to Erik about getting just to have mirror sex.
"I know that me fucking you from behind and forcing you to take it while you watch us is one of your many fantasies so I thought I'd make it come true." He slid his hand into your panties, slowly rubbing your clit, just enough to tease you and leave you breathless. "But for right now you're gonna watch me take you apart and put you right back together."
He smirked at the feeling of you getting wetter.
"Someone's eager, huh."
You gripped the hand that was toying with your emotions and tried to make him go faster.
"Not eager baby. Just want you to make me feel good."
Erik kissed your neck and delivered two quick slaps to your clit, “Do that shit again and Ima have no choice but to knock yo ass out. We don't want you passing out right baby? Keep yo fucking hands to yourself."
All you could do was squirm in his hold while he fingered you with 2 fingers and rubbed your clit with his thumb. You were already close to your first orgasm of the night and all you could do was say his name.
"That's right baby. Let everybody know who's treating you so well."
He left marks on your neck while applying more pressure on your clit. Keeping you constantly feeling the pleasure of coming without actually doing it.
"You close? You gonna come for me for real this time? You've been such a good girl at keeping your hands to yourself so I should let you right?"
You could barely speak and he knew you were almost at your peak so he let you have it. Your first orgasm of the night and your legs were shaking.
After making you come to the point of tears two more times, you thought the mirror stuff was all that was happening tonight.
You laid your head back on his shoulder, outta breath and ready to fall asleep, but Erik wasn’t having it.
“You thought I was finished with you? I’m nowhere near done baby.”
He quickly laid you on the bed and stripped you out of your bra and panties. Placing sweet kisses all over your body than standing to take off the rest of his clothes. He spread your legs and gets in between them, hand shooting out to rub himself against your wetness.
You wrapped your legs around his waist tryna get him to put it in but he wasn't budging.
"Baby keeps doing that and I won't fuck you at all. I wanna please you so let me do that aight?"
All you could do was nod your head.
He leaned towards your face, "Words. Use your words."
The sound of you begging wanted to make him nut then and there, "Please fuck me, Erik. Please"
He smirked, "Patience baby. Okay? Be a good girl for me."
He slid into you and let you adjust.
He leaned down to your ear, "I know I've ruined you for any other man. No one can ever make you feel this good but me and I'm letting you know right now that you're the only one I want screaming my name."
He started to roll his hips into you, making you feel every inch pulling out and pushing right back in. You were losing your mind at the pace since you were used to him fucking into you fast.
You grabbed at his shoulders and started to plead him to go faster. He almost didn’t give in.
He wanted this to last. He wanted you to feel how he felt. How much he loves you, how much he cherishes you, how much he wanted to marry you, and how much he wanted you to have his babies.
But he went a little faster anyway while giving you long deep strokes. All he wanted was for you to feel good.
The pleasure you were feeling was incredible. You felt that this was making love. You felt the love he had for you right here and now. You were overwhelmed with all the emotion.
Erik could feel you clenching around him, "you gonna come, baby? So soon?"
You nodded, not being able to properly form words to tell him that he was making you feel like this, that he was the one that was gonna make you spill all over him.
He reached down and started to rub your clit at the same time as his strokes. "I'm not gonna play with you, baby. Come for me."
Your breath hitched and you came with tears in your eyes and you could barely register that he was still rubbing you and fucking into you faster.
"One more for me then you're done. I know you got one more in you, baby."
You were shaking under him, practically losing your mind. Erik had made you orgasm multiple times before, but this was something new.
He knew you were close and so was he.
"I'm gonna come too, baby. You want me to give it to you? Fill you up so much it’s leaking out?" He kept rubbing and before you knew it, you were screaming his name. So loud that both of you knew you would get noise complaints the next day.
You came all over him, wetting yours and his thighs up. He groaned as he thrust into you one final time and emptied himself into you, making a chill run down your spine.
He pulled out and then got a rag out of the bathroom to clean you up. Erik gave your legs a little massage and kissed your forehead. Telling you to rest for a bit before he ran you two a bath.
All you could tell him was that you loved him before you drifted off to sleep.
He smiled, "I love you too. More than you'll ever know."
Small and hopefully growing taglist:
@itsbackwoodsbby @miyuhpapayuh
#erik stevens#erik stevens x reader#erik stevens x black reader#x black reader#smut#becauseimswagman1#blackwriters#black panther killmonger#killmonger imagine#killmonger x reader#killmonger smut
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More Lodgers! I think Mosley is my favorite of this batch, both pose and design-wise. I'm drawing them in order of introduction, and it's almost like a cool little Easter egg hunt looking for different angles and full-body panels of characters that don't show up a ton.
(Edit! I updated the drawings, it not matching the other set was bothering me)
Thoughts under the cut again
Back at it again with the goggles and gloves! Except for Mr. Griffin which is interesting. Could be for lots of reasons, like pulling descriptions from The Invisible Man, or maybe his work doesn't require a lot of physical risk, or maybe they just didn't want all the Lodgers to feel too samey. He's still aligned with the Lodgers aesthetically through the apron, which Bird also wears. Neat! I'm very entertained by the different types of eyewear too. Some have goggles, some have binoculars, and some have layers of magnifiers like jeweler's glasses (of course I always think of the Toy Story 2 scene). I'm sure some of them have super specialized equipment too, like Maijabi probably has some sort of spectral filter lens or something.
God what I would give to pick Sage Cotugno's brain about some of these designs because I am fascinated by Mosley. They technically didn't have to go through and give each lodger such a strong sense of personality but I adore that they did! Mosley in particular reminds me of Mole from Atlantis, with the scarf and the multi-layered goggles and the digging. And Helsby wouldn't be out of place at the Benbow Inn! Know that I mean this as incredibly high praise, I could talk about the designs in Treasure Planet for days. Point is that both those movies have an incredibly strong visual identity, primarily through the character designs and architecture, and this comic feels the same way to me.
My personal favorite rogue scientist is next up! I love her design so much and I'm so excited to draw her. Also, how in the hell do you end up with "make spy bugs" as your job?? And where can I sign up?? Miss Flowers please
Mosley has my favorite pose but Griffin has my favorite face. Look at him. Grouchy bastard
I realize that I've been labeling all the Lodgers as "doctor" but it's entirely possible that some of them probably don't have doctorates. Y'know. The thing that makes you a doctor. Then again Frankenstein dropped out of college and we all call him "Dr" so I don't see why these fine people shouldn't get the same respect! Dunno if this applies to Victoria Frankenstein though. She's crazy enough to have also finished college while all the other shit was happening.
(yes I know that Frankenstein technically had all the knowledge and the expertise and was miles ahead of literally everybody else and only dropped out because he was busy proving that death is merely a temporary state and God means nothing in the face of human ingenuity and all that, but the bastard still didn't graduate and also he's an asshole so I'm gonna pick on him)
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"WORST REGARDS, YOUR KARMIC RETRIBUTION" — yang jeongin.
they say success is the best revenge, but sabotage feels better.
word count: 5.8k
pairings: jock!jeongin x nerd!reader
genre: fluff, humour, high school au, one sided enemies to lovers, slow burn, loosely inspired by i hope this doesn't find you by ann liang
warnings: swearing, partying, kissing, biblically accurate (religious) jeongin, everyone is the same age except chan, no use of y/n + gn reader, reader is literally evil incarnate plz dont do this irl ;;
playlist: ivy frank ocean, sexy to someone clairo, everybody talks neon trees, i can't radiohead
a/n: dedicated to @allforhee & all the other i.n stans out there :3 enjoy!!!
You know a lot of things. You know that the idea of zero was invented by an Indian mathematician and astronomer named Brahmagupta. You know how to recite your future Valedictorian speech in Latin. However besides these things, you also know that most things in life are pretty much uncertain.
Except your hatred for Yang Jeongin. That is your probability of 1.
Although your best friend Kim Seungmin says that your probability of 1 should probably be the fact that you’re a damn sore loser.
So when classes started to end and your school’s sports day rolled around, everyone knew not to cross your path. Either they would be on your team, or they wouldn’t even get near you. You’re not even that athletic; in fact, you can barely work out to save your life. But you’re the brains, the mastermind, of your team’s strategies. It’s like that saying, if you can’t beat ‘em, outsmart ‘em, or something like that.
You knew you were winning, or at least you thought you knew. Because just when you were about to cross your final lap of the track and field match, the corner of your eye caught a glimpse of Yang Jeongin’s infamously cordial grin. Disturbed by the audacity, you stop in your tracks to look at his friends sitting on the bleachers and feel a rush of satisfaction rush back in when you see them petrified for their friend’s questionable actions.
He won, of course. And though you took home five more gold medals than him that day, something about the utter disrespect of stealing the spotlight from somebody so clearly feared for a reason unsettles you.
Which is why you’re currently writing a letter to him threatening to take away his position in the basketball team if he doesn’t earn back your respect that he lost from a sports day event three years ago.
It’s less of a letter and more of a drafted email, since you’re not writing it by hand; he doesn’t get to have that sort of power over you. You’re not sending it either. God, no. You’re not that insane.
It’s simply a form of coping, nothing more. You’d reckon if you were to ask a therapist about this method, they would think it’s stellar. It’s like journaling… except instead of self-reflection, the end goal is to live in the delusional cloud where your nemesis knows and fears how much you hate them.
Do whatever your wretched soul can manage to revert back to the regular human state— that is, being absolutely petrified of my existence. Otherwise, say goodbye to that pretty “varsity basketball” title you adore so much.
A smirk twists upon the edges of your lips as your gaze fixes on the words you’ve just typed out. What’s the word for when you gain pleasure from the idea of torturing somebody else? You’re sure ‘sadist’ doesn’t apply when you only crave the suffering of one specific person.
You consider rewriting the entire letter on paper, for the sole purpose of leaving a crimson lipstick stain on the envelope for him to unseal. You don’t even use red lipstick, but perhaps the Irene Adler-ness of it all might subconsciously trigger a flight or fight response from him, as most stupid teenage boys do when faced with distinct power.
When other people fall asleep to daydreams about their crushes, you often drift away to slumber through the relaxation brought upon you from fantasizing about Yang Jeongin on his knees, begging for your forgiveness.
You would have fallen asleep to that dream for yet another night, but your best friend Kim Seungmin rang your phone. Now, if it was any other night, you would have sent him death threats and went back to your fantasies. However you had just asked Seungmin for a very special favor, so you decide to pick up.
“This better be about what I think it is,” you start. “I won’t put up with your post-exam depression bullshit tonight.”
“Don’t worry about that, I managed to get extra credits for everything.” Thuds and crackles fill the audio from the other side of the phone, and you can practically smell Seungmin’s bag of chips and old dusty laptop opening on his desk. “I got what you asked for.”
“Good, just forward it to my email.”
“I don’t understand why you would need it, though,” Seungmin’s voice is muffled by the chips in his mouth. “I mean, the team’s orders at Lucy’s Diner? Seriously? If you had a crush on one of them, you know I could just set you up, right?”
“Ew, I would never!” You fake gag, earning a chuckle from the boy on the other line. “C’mon, you know I have too much self respect for that.” “I think you mispronounced blatant narcissism and self obsession.”
The two of you go back and forth teasing one another for another moment until you urge Seungmin to send the list to your email. He inquires once again but you only brush him off, coming up with something about helping out at Lucy’s for the summer. Which wouldn’t be a complete lie, technically, if all went well.
You know you can’t tell Seungmin about your plan. Not right now. He’s reached that stage of being a teenage boy where he started developing attachment and empathy towards others, and now he’s practically attached at the hip with the rest of the basketball team. All he knows is that you hate Jeongin, and that’s enough for now.
And sure, this whole situation has made you question if you were actually a sociopath, but it needs to be done. You consider it a fair service to the community for taking down another straight male with no brains and a huge ego. They don’t know it yet, but he’s the common enemy.
Soon enough after the sports day incident you had come to the conclusion that if nobody could hate Yang Jeongin, you would make him hate you so much until a primal, animalistic desire to destroy you would take over his spirit. You assume he’d do something so utterly terrible, as men do, then afterwards everyone would finally see with their own two eyes that he is just like every other man in this cruel world. If anything, you’re volunteering as a sacrifice!
So as you zone out on Seungmin’s newfound amusement in the way Mr Marks’ glasses make him look like Chicken Little, you switch your tabs to open the sacred document.
In big, bold letters it reads OPERATION 143: 1 ENEMY, 4 PHASES, 3 YEARS.
The document itself already has over 25 pages, written in detail about your genius ideas to slowly infiltrate your enemy base from the inside out— most worked, but some of them just ended in your loss of dignity. You had even taken ideas from books and films like Parasite to further enhance its artistic integrity. These last three years were a performance, and Jeongin’s life is your stage. You have now entered phase four, and this is your closing act; nobody can steal your spotlight.
Contrary to the precise executions of your past eras, phase four is abstract. Its main goals are to disrupt Yang Jeongin’s peace as directly as possible, whilst leaving as little trail as possible. This, paired with the built up tension from the previous phases, is going to set in motion a domino effect, leading to the collapse of your greatest enemy’s social stature.
Accidentally letting a particularly mischievous giggle slip under your breath, you look back at the email you were drafting to him. You know exactly how to end it.
Careful where you run, Yang Jeongin.
Worst regards,
your karmic retribution.
This is your least favorite time of the year: the period just before summer break. Exams are over, so most teachers let students roam free during their lessons. But not going to school at all can take away from your total attendance, which then goes on your report card, so most students spend their school days sitting around in boredom and watching the sports teams play.
seungmo: Do u wanna come to practice
seungmo: Jisung bought cheesecake for everyone and I don’t want mine
seungmo: I don’t want him to take mine tho lol
That was fifteen minutes ago, and now you’re sitting on the bleachers on a date with a delicious slice of blueberry cheesecake and iced coffee, absentmindedly watching your best friend practice. Despite your close ties with Seungmin, you’ve never really been interested in the other team members— except for the occasional trading of homework answers with Jisung. Ever since middle school, you’ve sort of established that you want nothing to do with people like them: rowdy, sporty, and popular. Seungmin once noted that you say “popular” like it’s a slur. You couldn’t disagree.
“So… Karmic retribution, huh?”
You freeze.
“Pardon?” You turn around, only to be faced with the one and only Yang Jeongin.
“Karmic retribution?” He inquires further, expecting you to get the hint. “Y’know, what you called yourself in your… email? Death threat? Not sure what to call it, actually.”
Oh shit. Oh fuck.
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, dude,” you laugh off the question. “I don’t even know your name, let alone your email.”
“Well, that’s clearly a lie, since your name is on your email address. And my name was in your… Seriously, what should I call this thing?”
Fuck fuck fuck. You must have accidentally hit ‘send’ when you fell asleep on the phone with Seungmin. That prick; he always manages to embarrass you somehow.
“Listen, I didn’t even know you go here. I had to ask Chris if he knows which one you are, and you just happened to be here right now.” Jeongin rakes his fingers through his stupid gross sweaty damp hair, then dragging his palm across his face in exasperation. “Whatever I did to you, I’m really sorry.”
“What do you mean you didn’t know I go here?” You’re baffled, truly baffled, and you basically lost control of your body when you heard those words. Suddenly your voice can be heard by anyone within a ten foot radius, and if it weren’t for that they would have thought you were about to smother him with kisses by the lack of distance between your bodies. “I’ve been here since fucking middle school! I sit behind you in Spanish— I ask you for a pen every two and a half weeks only to lose it every single time. You’re saying you don't remember me?”
“Oh, that’s you? My bad. You sit behind me, so I didn’t really get to see your face up close.” Jeongin doesn’t even flinch at the proximity of your faces. He simply gives you a brief look up and down and goes, “Now that I am seeing you up close, you’re the one that always hangs out with Seungmin, right?”
Then it hits you: this is the universe sending you a signal to initiate phase four. Sure, him not remembering who you are might have set you back by a few milestones, but who’s counting? (You are. You always are.)
If anything, you’re grateful for the redirection, because now you know that before you can ruin him, you must first build him up.
“Alright, look,” you begin, taking a step back to put some inches between the two of you. He reeks of rubber and soda, the stench makes you ill. “Let’s start over, shall we?”
“‘Kay, cool,” he says with a nonchalant shrug. “See you around, I guess…?”
“Wait, that’s it? You’re not even gonna ask why I hated you in the first place?”
“Doesn’t matter now, does it? We’re already starting over.” The genuine lack of irritation in his face makes you curl your fists and fight the urge to give him a black eye. “Plus, you’re one of those nice smart kids. I don’t have beef with your kind.”
And for the first time in your life you wanted desperately to become popular, because maybe then Jeongin would take you seriously.
But it’s fine. You’re going to destroy him regardless.
“Yo, not to interrupt this whole bonding thing we have going on, but I kinda need to head back to practice.” His voice snaps you back to reality. “Is that chill with you?”
“Yeah, yeah. That’s chill.” You muster up your most convincing smile for him. One time in fifth grade your drama teacher told you you’re a natural actor, and you pray to God those innate talents are still there. Now that you think about it, she may have just been calling you a liar.
For good measure, you give him an awkward thumbs up before walking away. When you make eye contact with Seungmin, he raises his eyebrow as if to ask what the fuck was that? You can only shrug in response. You have no idea either.
You sit back down on the bleachers, occasionally eyeing your target, feasting your eyes on the way his muscles flex under his baggy Radiohead t-shirt when he dribbles the ball around the court and the sweat that drips from his hair. You’re used to your own deranged behavior, but this feels almost perverse. Maybe it’s because you’re basically acquaintances with him now (the word makes you want to spit your cheesecake back up), or maybe it’s because you can’t help but let your stare linger on the cross dangling from his chain.
Gross, you think to yourself, as you keep your eyes on him for the rest of the day.
On the last day of school before summer break, the unexpected happens: the basketball team invites you to their party. Well, technically, they invited everyone. It’s supposed to be Bang Chan’s last party before he graduates, and he just so happens to be friends with every single student. Thus, you and Seungmin are now situated in front of his front door, waiting for him to welcome you in.
You don’t usually go to parties, and to be very honest nobody really expects you to. The reasoning is a bit pretentious, you suppose, but you truly just don’t believe in the necessity of rebellion in leading to better adulthood. However you do believe in yourself and your incredibly sexy intellectual prowess, and you have an operation to carry out, so tonight you let yourself let loose just a bit.
“Ah, there you guys are!” Chan greets you and Seungmin, ushering you inside his… house is an understatement, honestly, it’s a mansion. “Mingle around!”
You’re still out of place, you notice. Since you didn’t plan on actually drinking or dancing, you decided to come in your usual get-up of your dream university’s merch sweater and a pair of baggy jeans. You mentally cursed yourself for not realizing that all of Chan’s friends would be the cool, charismatic type.
Suddenly wishing you had stayed home instead, you excuse yourself to the bathroom, which was (fortunately for you) on the second floor, away from most of the crowds. When you get there, however, you’re met with Jeongin’s sharp gaze in front of the door.
“Been a while,” he states, leaning on the wall and crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Could I get you anything? A drink, maybe?”
“I don’t drink. At least not tonight,” you respond. Then you notice that his hands are also empty. “What about you?”
“Nah, I don’t do that stuff.” He shakes his head to enunciate his disapproval. “I don’t mind that the other guys do it, but I’m pretty religious, so…”
The devil perched upon your shoulder whispers hot but the angel on the other side exclaims what the fuck?
“Cool.” You stare at your shoes, thinking about how to turn this exchange into yet another round of revenge. When you get an idea, you beam up at him. “Wanna walk and talk with me?”
The moment he verbalizes his agreement, you grab him by the arm and rush downstairs. There, you do as you had suggested: walk and talk. Turns out Chan’s first floor is big enough for about thirty minutes of conversation.
When you get to the outdoor pool, you take off your shoes and dip your toes in the water with Jeongin following suit, sitting right beside you. Your conversation drifts to so many different topics— music, childhood TV shows, dating— you almost forget the reason why you brought him here. He’s observant, you notice, and he has thoughts on a lot of different things, something you didn’t think was possible. You always thought he was just dumb.
“Y’know, I was kinda flattered by your email, I’m not gonna lie,” he admits sheepishly.
“Pardon?” You look at him, puzzled. “Did you say flattered?”
“Well, yeah, I mean, no one really notices me like that.”
You stare at him, eyes blank and mouth agape. Surely this guy has gone insane, right? He’s one of the school’s most beloved students, by other students and faculty members alike.
“Like, I know they like me, but I don’t really stand out amongst the others. Chris is the friendly one, Minho is the mysterious one, Changbin is the strong one, Hyunjin is the artistic one, Jisung is the funny one, Felix is the kind one, Seungmin is the smart one, and what am I? I have all those qualities too, but they pale in comparison. People don’t have enough reason to hate me, but I know they think I’m boring. So being hated so passionately was kind of a big thing for me… I’m sorry, is that weird?”
If you didn’t want to slap him before, you sure as hell do now. How blindly privileged is this guy that his problem in life is not being the coolest guy on the varsity basketball team? You puff out your cheeks to hold back an exasperated sigh, and pull out a gentle smile instead.
“Jeongin, I don’t think people see you that way at all.” You place a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Have you ever considered that maybe they might just be a bit intimidated by you?”
This is exactly how your mother talks to you when you start crying about how nobody ever has a crush on you on a random Thursday night. God bless that woman for gaslighting you into a positive attitude.
“You really think so?” He looks at you with these wide puppy-like eyes and you finally understand what the girls on Instagram mean when they talk about ‘getting the ick.’
“Really,” you affirm with a bright smile.
“Thank you. That means a lot to me.”
Just as he pulls you into a warm embrace, you push him just subtly enough that he wouldn’t notice it until he’s falling into the pool. With a large splash, all eyes turn to the two of you. He comes up from the water, clothes and hair drenched, and you feel a sense of satisfaction wash over you when you finally see a distressed expression etch itself onto his features.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry!” You lie, faking your concern. “Are you okay?”
“I’m… I’m fine.” He climbs out of the pool, and you curse yourself for staring a little too long at his defined muscles under his wet shirt. Then, he turns to you and says, “Needed to cool off anyways.”
And he laughs. Laughs at himself and laughs at your befuddled face and laughs when Chan asks if he’s alright, shooting him a quick thumbs up before grabbing the nearest beach towel. When his other friends crowd around him, he laughs and laughs and laughs and it drives you fucking insane. The resonating sound of his laughter surrounds the backyard in an instant, and for a moment you wish you had drowned yourself in that pool instead.
“I will shove my middle fingers in your dimples,” you mutter under your breath, and you consider it a promise.
“Be right back,” he tells you before rushing to the nearest bathroom to change his clothes, playfully flicking droplets of water onto your face and ruffling your hair, dampening it.
You watch as he walks away, feeling a strange pang of guilt in your chest when you notice his smile faltering as people start to focus amongst themselves again. Now it’s your turn to laugh, half out of disbelief and half out of pure glee.
Everything is going according to plan.
“I didn’t push him.”
Lie.
“We were just talking.” Lie.
“I still hate him.”
Lie?
Wow, three lies in a row. And to your best friend, of all people. This Operation 143 has really tested your moral compass, and it’s not looking great for you. No wonder why Seungmin is calling you at 3 AM, interrogating you about what the hell happened tonight.
“See, now, some of those statements kind of contradict each other,” he states. “I have no doubt that you still hate him, but I also don’t doubt the pure evil in your heart. You would have pushed him, and you wouldn't even be sorry about it.”
“Uh, well, you’re wrong,” you tell him. “Clearly you don’t know me that well then.”
“Whatever you say, but if one day you decide to come clean of your crimes, you owe me something. Something very very dear to me.”
At first you were nervous, because it’s obvious your best friend is on to you (note to self: be less evil on a day to day basis). But then you remember it’s your best friend, there’s only one thing he would want from you in this situation.
“Yes, yes, I’ll take you out for a fancy dinner,” you sigh. “That’s only if I confess my sins to you, Father Seungmin, and it’s not happening because I’m completely innocent.”
“Please never call me that again.”
“Noted.”
At that, your phone buzzes with a new notification. It’s from an unknown number, but you can see a display name. Jeongin.
~Jeongin: u up?
God, could this guy act more like a fuckboy? Somehow noticing the tension in the air despite your physical distance, Seungmin questions your mood.
“Jeongin just texted me.”
“Oh, so that’s what he wanted your number for.”
“Are you dumb?” You ask, but it feels more like an accusation. “Why the fuck else would he ask for my number, idiot?”
Seungmin makes a noise equivalent to a shrug, and you let it pass. You were just about to question him further about Jeongin asking for your number, but the man himself texts once again.
~Jeongin: wanna hang tmr?
“Ew,” you mutter quietly. “I think he thinks we’re friends or something.”
“Oh, right, I remember you don’t do those.” You can almost hear his eyes rolling at your annoyance at Jeongin. He’s expressed his disapproval for your one-sided rivalry many times, but you always bite back with words too vulgar to write down here.
“Yeah, you know you’re only my close acquaintance, right?” You turn your attention back to your phone, biting your thumb in deep thought. “I’ll be mean to him. Should send the right message.”
You need to change your technique anyway. Befriending him only to be annoying is only going to make him like you more, and betraying him out of the blue takes too much commitment. This is phase four, after all— you have such little time to get the job done. If you manage to succeed during senior year, people aren’t gonna care anymore because everybody is leaving anyway.
You won’t shy away from it anymore; it’s time to be direct. It’s time to be evil.
You: no.
Seungmin sputters out a laugh once you send the screenshot of your texts to him. “You couldn’t have even given him a reason why? God, you’re crueler than I thought.”
“Why can’t he just hate me back?” You whine, slumping your shoulders defeatedly. “Why is he so… So nice? What’s wrong with him?”
“Maybe he likes you,” Seungmin teases. “I kinda see the vision, actually. The nerd and the jock… Classic perfection.”
“You mean cliché,” you groan. “His type is probably other athletes or something. Popular people date popular people, Seungmo.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Seungmin continues in a sing-song tone, so you close your ears and make weird noises, a signal that it’s time for him to shut the fuck up.
jeongin (DONT RESPOND): oh
jeongin (DONT RESPOND): ok :[
A week later you’re sitting in front of the bus station, waiting for Seungmin to arrive. He had promised to take you to the new coffee shop that just opened up to get some work done as a means to get ahead of other students. Nerdy as it may be, this is your summer ritual with your best friend, and if you didn’t fulfill it by the beginning of the summer, the guilt is going to eat you alive until you won’t be able to properly enjoy your holiday.
The summer breeze (or lack thereof) feels like it’s burning you alive, so you pull off your usual sweater to reveal a tank top underneath. Huffing out in irritation, you send a quick text to Seungmin.
You: wru
You: why take so long
You: ur so not a gentleman this is why ur single
Instead of an answer, you receive a phone call in return. You pick it up. “Yo, where are you? I’ve been waiting here for fifteen fucking minutes, dude, I’m parched.”
“I brought a friend,” said Seungmin, completely disregarding your complaints. “Look in front of you.”
And there he is, walking towards you with none other than Yang Jeongin beside him, waving at you like a stray puppy. You close your eyes, trying to pretend for as long as possible that none of it is real. This is probably what I get for trying to sabotage someone out of the basketball team, you think to yourself, deciding to surrender to your fate and greet them with as much kindness as you can muster for the time being.
After approximately thirty minutes of sitting down and discussing the next academic year’s syllabus, you decide that that was the last bit of kindness in your heart. So when Jeongin leaves to go to the restroom, you waste no time catching Seungmin up on what you’ve actually been doing. The letter, the operation— everything.
“25 pages?” Seungmin asks you in disbelief. “My god, that’s a thesis.”
“It might as well be, at this point.” You nod solemnly at his comment. There’s no use denying anything; at your core, you’re just pure cruel and sadistic. At the very least you know your best friend will love you regardless, even if nobody else will.
“Listen, I love you, truly I do. But you’ve got to stop,” Seungmin grabs your shoulders and looks you dead in the eye. He has never looked this serious before and meant it. “He’s, like, falling in love with you.”
“Pardon me?”
“I know, I know, it’s your worst nightmare, and I know you don’t like him like that, which is why I’m telling you this. Stop now or you will break his heart even more.”
Just as you were about to respond, Jeongin comes back to the table. If he hadn’t, you’re not sure what you would have had to say. Would you disagree with even the thought of it, telling Seungmin he’s a liar? Would you have argued that if your plan were to work, Jeongin would hate you in the end anyway? Or would you have asked him how to make those feelings grow?
But no, no. He doesn’t like you, not like that. He’s just kind, that’s all. He can’t.
And the next hour passes by like torture, with both boys having to snap you back to the present moment about five times each. You couldn’t care less about the syllabus or the coffee or the new inside jokes you all made that day. All you could think about was how Jeongin’s hand would brush against yours when he borrowed a pencil, or the way his eyes would lock with yours when he laughed at Seungmin’s sarcastic remarks.
The entire time, your mind was calculating the probability of Jeongin actually being in love with you. Each answer was always too close to 1 for your liking.
You couldn’t get him out of your head.
To be fair, you never could. But it used to be about hatred. You used to find joy in boring two-hour classes because you knew you could just spend those two hours daydreaming about what Jeongin would look like with real tears in his eyes, with a scowl on his lips, with anything other than that damned smile.
You told your boss you’d be taking the night shift at Lucy’s for a while, because your days would be spent hanging out with friends on the holidays. This isn’t true at all, of course, you just found it more difficult to escape those Jeongin-plagued thoughts when you were about to drift to slumber. Unfortunately, this didn’t work the way you had hoped, because it turns out the diner basically doesn’t have any customers after 8 PM.
It’s almost 10 PM now, the hour when you’ll have to close up the diner. Nobody has come inside in the last forty-five minutes, so you figure it’s best to close up early. That way, you’ll get more time to scroll on your phone or read a book.
You should have seen it coming, really. You know you could never escape him. There, standing in front of the doors of Lucy’s diner, is your haunting, your shadow, your karmic retribution.
“I keep thinking about you,” he says, almost breathless, as he steps into the diner.
“How long have you been standing there?” “Like, five seconds,” he answers. Then, as if to emphasize his previous statement, he says, “You owe me sleep.”
“You don’t think that goes both ways?” You turn away from him, placing all the cleaning supplies on the bar counter. When you look back, he’s already eagerly striding towards you.
“What are you saying? That you want me?”
“I… I don’t know,” you mutter. You can’t look at him, not right now, not like this. You would break not just his heart, but yours as well. “I don’t know how I feel. I need a… an experiment or an investigation or something that I know is going to tell me if this is actually real, because I have no fucking clue what’s real anymore.”
Without another word, he places both palms on the counter behind you, trapping your body between his, and kisses you.
It knocks the breath right out of your soul. Every vessel in your brain is screaming at you, reminding you that it’s wrong and he’s not supposed to like you and you’re not supposed to like him back and that you sure as hell shouldn’t be kissing him at all, let alone your workplace.
Nevertheless, you can’t help it. Everything you knew has been proven wrong. Everything you have questioned has proven themselves to be true. You know nothing at all. You kiss him back.
Acknowledging your reciprocation, he lifts a hand to cradle your face, gently brushing his thumb over your cheekbone down to your jaw. He takes a step closer, pressing your body flush against his. You haven’t closed the diner; somebody could walk in at any moment.
Running your fingers through his soft locks, he takes the opportunity to trail his lips to your neck. It’s at this moment that you begin to feel everything, and it’s all too real too quick. You push him away, taking one brief glance at his disheveled hair and swollen, rose-tinted lips.
You know you shouldn’t. You know you’re being a coward. You know the answer.
Be that as it may, you still run.
seungmo: Bball game @ school tonight
seungmo: Idk what happened w u and jeongin but pls come to the game
seungmo: U know how much ive been looking forward to this
seungmo: I'll keep him away, i promise
You shouldn’t have gone. You should have stayed home, rotting in your room for yet another night, catching up on all the studying you missed out on when you went to that coffee shop with Seungmin, finding yourself tracing the shape of your lips when you’re deep in thought, recalling the way Jeongin’s felt on yours.
The truth is, you do know how much Seungmin has been looking forward to this match. He had realized long ago that you couldn’t care less about sports, but still he found your face amongst the crowd every single time. Even though you had such a deep scowl it made him chuckle every time he saw you, he felt his chest warm with affection at the act of being present.
This is one of those unconditional, unspoken rules you’ve established in your friendship. You would support him, and he would support you. You couldn’t have ditched this.
But as you approach closer and closer to the basketball court, you notice something amiss. By now, you should have been able to hear the rowdy chanting of other students. You should have already been blinded by the lights surrounding the court, considering it’s already 6 PM. You should have seen Seungmin waiting for you, but he’s not there.
Nothing’s there. Nothing but Yang Jeongin, standing in the middle of the court.
“I’m starting to think Seungmin is playing matchmaker,” you say as you walk towards him.
His face cracks into a fit of laughter, and it lights up the whole area. “You think?”
You’re close enough to him to see how puffy his eyes are— is he just exhausted or has he been crying? He’s silent for a second, catching his bottom lip between his teeth, before opening his mouth to finally speak.
“Listen, I—”
“No, no,” you interrupt him. “Let me speak first.”
“I used to despise you, as you already know. For a reason that is so stupid that if I said it out loud right now I’d pee myself laughing, probably. And I guess that hatred helped me cover up my insecurities, and that I couldn’t believe someone like me and someone like you could be with anything more than enemies.” At some point, you started looking into his eyes, and now you can’t seem to pull away. “You’re not boring, Yang Jeongin, not at all. You’re certain. You’re my probability of 1.”
“So… Moral of the story, I’m different from all the other boys, yes?” He teases, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you closer inch by inch.
“You think that’s the moral of the story?” “Hell, no,” he chuckles. “The moral of the story is that sometimes you need to ditch that whole superiority complex and realize that you’re exactly like everybody else. You’re smart, yes, but you’re also stupid and naive and clumsy. And that’s completely alright. That doesn’t make you any less deserving of anything, it just makes you human.”
And as he tugs you into a kiss, you realize he’s right. It doesn’t matter what you know. Life is still uncertain, anyway, and the probabilities of most things are far less than 1. All you know is that whatever happens, you’ll be loved in the process.
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