#this country is a damn mess
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It’s like America is watching season 5 of “Love and Politics DC”!!! 🤦🏾♀️😩
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hey i got lilia
#twst#lilia vanrouge#at two pulls#hooray#yipee#wow he's actually...#here...#WHAT THE FUCK#I WAS JUST MESSING WITH YOU#I NEVER REALLY WANTED YOU (i did)#WHY ARE YOU HERE (thank you)#WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH YOU NOW (kiss me ig? idk i want vil)#damn you're hot#serving badussy but not the country
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Terrence. That's it. That's the post.
#country bear#cbj terrence#cbj shaker#cbmj#hes living the true gay experience#like bad fashion sense#hot mess express#Anxious little theatre kid#LIKE DAMN PICK A STRUGGLE#country bear jamboree
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BABE WAKE UP NEW LOW JUST DROPPED.
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#India is in shambles rn#The most depressing realities of current times:#a student doctor was gang-raped and killed inside a hospital and the govt and police and the hospital authorities worked together#to destroy evidence and cover up the crime as a suicide and called the doctor *psychotic*. They asked *what was she doing so late?*#rape occurs every 16 mins in our country#every girl and woman I know including myself are TERRIFIED#every damn day there are brutal cases of rapes of children. Literal 3 year olds. To students teenagers.#in school in home in public transport in a hospital#And what is our govt. doing? Making this into a politicized mess blaming each other instead of ANYONE fixing ANY problem#our streets are strewn with public protests EVERYDAY#women don't have the right to safety in our country#WE ARE TERRIFIED TO EXIST#BCZ NO MATTER WHAT- OUR BODIES AND VOICES AND POSITIONS ARE PROVOKING TO MEN.#AND NOW THIS#I don't even NEED to talk about the education system of our country anymore bcz you can clearly see the news heading.#Our future is doomed. Our safety is doomed. Our lives are doomed.#But sure yeah India has great street food and amazing movies 👍🏽#We're utterly exhausted#India#Desi tag#moumita debnath#tw murder#tw r4p3#tw r4p3 mention#tw sui mention#tw sui#tw child death#tw child abuse#tw csa#desiblr
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the goddamn toast water post just made me utter "history is fucking real" in the most solemn and serious tone of voice, out loud, to myself, in the goddamn bathtub
#life is ridiculous and I'm its biggest clown#in my defense it's not even 9 am and I woke up at 6 for some reason (the reason prob being that I start work at 6 atm)#so I chose (violence) reading Stray Gods fic in bed for a few hours followed by the need to just vibe in the bathtub#I've only just had my coffee and a slice of cold pizza leftover from yesterday and it's such a uni-days thing to do#I've kinda missed it. tho I wasn't drinking coffee back then (how the fuck did I survive mornings without it??)#anyway. feeling very soft and tender abt my past self today. I miss her even if she was just as much of a mess. in different ways#the kind of mess who would openly flirt with some strange dude she didn't really know over the phone#the kind of mess who moved across the country just for a chance at trying with sb she liked who really never wanted to date her#the kind of mess who's always fallen for her best friends and who'll likely never stop#the kind of mess who feel so damn hard for a woman 15 yrs older than her just bc she was kind and sweet and a mess herself#the kind of mess who moved in with a friend she was solidly in love with for a bit who had her boyfriend over most nights#just.. it's not all about those feelings but they're decidedly a big part of why I've ever done anything#and I will prob always miss the friend who'd lie on the train platform with me just giggling into the night as ppl walked past#her head on my stomach and me just feeling so high it felt like I'd never stop floating (just for a while though)#I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that Mi miss just letting my feelings take me places even at the risk of losing it all#I'm so much more hesitant and guarded now. and sure part of it is being medicated for my bipolar. it's good that I don't call strangers#and almost invited them over. or that I no longer walk barefoot through the city at night by myself (usually)#but I do miss just idk. intimacy I guess. and how easily it used to come to me to just try and be open abt wanting it I guess#oh well. best be getting out of the bathtub. it's not a good place to be with these thoughts. and it's too early for this anyway#a day in the life of..
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the symphonic metal about haunted-ass women killing their lovers to southern rock about haunted-ass women killing their lovers pipeline..... 2real.
#my spotify is a mess.#it's like you like heavy drumbeats electric guitar and women singing about murder right#and i'm like. yup that's it!!#southern rock is so damn good. ppl who are turned off by bro country but like dark haunted folk music.... check it out#music
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#Jesus fucking Christ#why do some people just. not see the mess they’re making and acknowledge that it’s their responsibility to clean up after themselves??#like. you throw your shoes in the entrance exactly where people walk. you let shared loafers stand outside for several hours#you cook the most simple dinner that one time you cook (mind you the other people have equal shares of making food)#and yet you don’t even manage to clean up after neither the cooking NOR taking the food off the table into the fridge so it doesn’t turn bad#you keep on taking the most easy solution that fits you the best without thinking about others. in a space where we all are exhausted#and I’m so done with it for now tbh. how lazy to not care about the bare necessities for others. how rude to admit to it#AND on top of this. you’ll tell stuff about your country that’s *objectively horrifying* and then add on to that that you love your country#it’s just. so many things. are so so so much of what I’d avoid in a person. a few things is fine. no one’s perfect. but damn there’s a limit#SORRY to anyone who’s read this far but I just. had to get it out#this guy is the one I’m working the closest with these two and a half weeks. hes still a kid kind of. I’m not gonna be mean to him#but damn. my patience. is being tested#AHHH I might delete this tbh. I don’t like showing this side of myself. I don’t want to spread this kind of negativity#I’m just so very frustrated. how a human person can come to this place and be here for SO LONG already#and still not have learnt the basics of living and working together#own post#oh. and all the triggering of intrusive thoughts is not helping your case buddy#(which you can’t really know about so it’s kinda fair but also it’s for bad hygiene stuff mostly and that’s. I mean…..)
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Spotify decided I get country music today lol....and sea shanties...and Irish jigs?
#Krazy Rambles#I am fine with this pfft#my playlist is an eclectic mess#damn I forgot about some of these#can't forget my homegrown country girl roots
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I visited my family in the town I went 2 high school in so like the place I got my ass handed to me at trauma wise and like bro when I say I was right about everything I ever said abt the city... I bummed a cigarette off the neighbor and within ten minutes her boyfriends cousin pulls up and her boy calls her on her phone grilling her about somebody telling him abt seeing her with a man. like in this current age of constantly being fucking watched by everyone I can't fucking live in a place like that I don't fucking care how liberal and """safe""" it is
#like its just so much easier for stalkers and abusive fucking people#im in a small town between two cities so its literally all the worst parts about the country and the city#i wasnt scared at the time i mean they were a bunch of high schoolers#yeah i bummed a cigarette of a high schooler#but like damn nobody even recognizes me and im still like getting ppl up my ass#it would have been so bad if that mess with the guy that assaulted me happened in that town#at least i had space and places i could go#work i could do#i spent most of my time inside avoiding people when i lived in the city lol
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i hate how complicated everything needs to be ugh
like generally ordering from japan is so simple and cheap, like their shipping costs are like nothing and its great
that is if the store offers overseas shipping. and if it doesnt you have to go through the hoops of delivery services, which cost at least the same amount as the product youre buying if not a whole lot more (and then including customs and what have you local delivery fees oof)
everything sucks except the baka gaijin zines that ship overseas and only cost me like five bucks to get through customs so thats honestly the highlight of my day
#it also arrived super fast like it shipped on sunday and its already in our customs like. damn#usually i have to wait at least a week or closer to two for anything to arrive here unless its from within the country#incredible work 10/10 would recommend#anyways. idk what im gonna do today. probably low key slow writing i have stuff to finish hmm#night is an absolute mess on main
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#this month ive:#had my phone stolen (huge logistical fucking mess when youre out of your country ngl)#had to go to the police about it#had an ethyl coma and been rushed by ambulance to the hospital#found out i have to pay that and my insurance card is expired (though i swear i renewed it before travelling#maybe grabbed the wrong one)#cant ask for a new one cause without the DAMNED PHONE NUMBER i cant confirm my identity on the online server#and im going home for christmas in 5 days#havent done ANY uni work by the way#someone shoot me already#vent
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the most embarassing thing about the democratic Party isn’t their lack of strategy it’s their lack of commitment to the fight.
#im sure there are many people with polisci degrees who can tell me why she chose to concede so early but idk don’t wanna hear it#the Democratic Party rolls over in defeat every time and they don’t fight back.#they are a passive party and that has allowed the republicans to mobilize over the last 60 years#they have a commitment to peace over justice and you’re damn right that pisses me off#they refuse to fight dirty or dig deep#the ‘left’ as in the party and the people have always had a disconnect#WE are stuck cleaning up their mess while they twiddle their thumbs#anyway. I don’t have to tell anybody to organize locally. we all know.#despite the bullshitery there were some really good wins across the country. do not lose hope. we can’t afford to.
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#genuinely considering just givinf up on sleep.#i might try resting but im on day 2 of lots of pain and at this point i think id rather distract myself instead of laying in bed#i did that last night and it made my brain very not happy#but i know that youre supposed to and senshi would be unhappy but damn mother nature got hands#i need my brain to chill out too nothing is working anymore not even my edibles#its so late my aunt across the country is sending me her good morning pics#im so glad she does her home looks so pretty right now because its been raining every week at minimum there#meanwhile its hot and miserable here and i cant go swimming because theres lead in tampons#jo babbles#ill go to sleep my husband would scoop me up and gently bully me if i didnt and im not letting him hurt his back#because my brain is messed up
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Привет! Я тут открыла для себя творчество Меловина, и удивилась, что так мало его фан-страниц, и нашла ваш блог... Но он не обновлялся в этом году - почемууу? Надеюсь, у вас всё хорошо и вы будете продолжать 💖💖💖
Hi! I discovered Melovin's work here, and I was surprised that there were so few of his fan pages, and I found your blog… But it hasn't been updated this year - why? I hope you are doing well and you will continue 💖 💖 💖
= o = o = o = o = o = o =
И вам привет! Мне приходится пользоваться переводчиком, так как я на самом деле не говорю по-русски, поэтому извините, если слова немного не те.
(Hello to you too! I have to use a translator, as I don't actually speak Russian, so I'm sorry if the words are a little off.)
Честно говоря, последние год или два были для меня очень тяжелыми в том, что касается личных дел в реальном мире, поэтому было трудно поддерживать свои интересы и блоги. Не хочу сказать, что я не обожаю Костю и все, что с ним связано, просто мне было трудно поддерживать эту страницу в актуальном состоянии, за исключением особо важных событий. Я надеюсь обновить эту страницу в какой-то момент, когда моя жизнь, возмо��но, станет немного менее напряженной.
(Truthfully, the past year or two have been very rough for me, with regards to real world personal matters, so it's been hard to maintain my interests and blogs. Not to say that I don't adore Kostya and all things about him, it's just been hard for me to keep this page up to date for him outside of extremely major occurrences. I am hoping to update this page at some point, when my life is perhaps a little less stressful.)
Спасибо вам за добрые слова и сообщение, это очень много значит! 💙💛💙💛
(Thank you for the kind words and message though, it means a lot! 💙💛💙💛)
#lloreleya#replies#not mel stuff#honestly I really need to do some housekeeping on this blog with the theme and tags alone#like damn it a mess around here (and so am I)#I won't bore people with the details but suffice to say there's been a death in my family and a cancer diagnosis#and as such trying to handle the day to day stresses of managing those alone#on top of living in a country and state that is RAPIDLY deteriorating the meaning of democracy#makes it hard to keep up with the things I like and enjoy
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the one where he wants you again
s2!rafe x reader
rafe was pissed at himself. was he really that dumb to dump you so quickly? you were his bunny, his princess; if he asked you to jump, you would ask him how high. you were his. he didn't deserve you. but, God, he wanted you so badly. he needed you not only for your perfect body but because you did what others couldn't. he'd never tell himself that he loves you, but he does.
it was almost like an obsession. something about you that made him needy for you. something that made you a guilty pleasure for him. you are the only one who has ever made him think of a future. marriage, babies, anniversaries. all things that meant forever.
but rafe was scared. he was scared that one day you'll leave him. one day you'll listen to others and think his too crazy to be with. so he ended it before you could. now his sitting at this party after 10+ shots thinking of you while your smiling and giggling with a damn pogue right in front of his face.
you made it seem like you were okay but you were feeling just as sad as him. but you'd never say it. you want rafe to learn that there are consequences to actions. it took a lot for you not to jump into his lap and wrap your arms around his neck and kiss all over him, but rafe need a lesson. you are a gift, and he needs to treat you as such.
"y/n you there," pope says snapping his fingers in you face. "are you still thinking about rafe." yes. "if you want him so bad just tell him, maybe he'll change." no, you don't know rafe. you say to yourself.
"he's special to me, pope," you groan, annoyed at how bad you want him. "i can't just jump in his lap and play house with him. he hurt me, pope," you say feeling those familiar eyes watching you. "but, God, he looks so good," you complain looking at rafe out of the side of your eyes.
rafe couldn't take it anymore. he needed his bunny back. "pogue leave," rafe says sneaking up behind you and staring daggers at pope. "kook business so go," rafe rudely commands.
"rafe, stop being disrespectful," you turn around angrily. "his name is pope, and if you need to speak to me, you ask me nicely and take me aside. but you will not disrespect my friend." you say, turning back to pope, who is shocked. "i'm sorry, pope, I'll see you tomorrow at john b's party."
"it's fine, y/n, I'll see you tomorrow," pope says, still shaken up, walking away. you turn back around to an embarrassed rafe, as you gaze upon him his cockiness returns.
"so just because i dumped you doesn't mean, you come to this party looking like that," rafe gestures to your tight, short white dress looking like heaven on earth. "i told you that you can only wear that when you come to parties with me."
"um let me get this straight," you start. "you dumped me two days rafe, two days before my birthday, with some dumb excuse that ward didn't want you to be with me," you say, getting angry all over again. "then i see ward at the country club saying that he loved that rafe decide to date me because i make rafe a better person. so if i want to dress slutty, i can and you cant do any thing about it."
before you storm off, rafe gently grabs your arm, pulling you to his chest. rafe was not going to let you leave this time. "don't do it, bunny," rafe whispers in you ear. "i messed up, baby. and i miss you. please don't do this," rafe pleads with his cool minty breath blowing in your ear. "please, princess, please." he's doing it again the begging thing that you love. everything felt so intense.
you fed up with the neediness pull rafe in by his neck and give him a quick but passionate peck on the lips. "rafe, you have to promise me, that you will try to do better," you order him, caressing the back of his neck. "i love you but you can't keep pushing me away," you say looking into his blue eyes.
rafe needs you. rafe wants you and only you. rafe gently nods his head, leaning down to give you another peck on the lips, mumbling an 'i love you.'
"come on, baby, let's go back to tannyhill and take a bath," you say to a love-struck rafe. "then we can talk more tomorrow, okay?" you finish.
"yes, princess, whatever you want," rafe agrees, pulling your hand out of topper's house. even though he messed up, you can't possibly give up on him.
#rafe obx#rafe cameron#rafe x you#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#rafe outer banks#outerbanks rafe#rafe#rafe x y/n
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older!rafe x ditzy!reader who works for him
warning: nsfw MDNI! this was based on this request!! i hope you like it <3
you had driven rafe crazy ever since you started working at the country club he owned; the way you smelled of flowers and vanilla, how your little sundresses and miniskirts clung to your curves, and the smile on your face that was so bright it would put the damn sun to shame.
when he first saw you, you looked so out of balance, your tray full of mugs and plates, so filled to the brim that he was sure you would drop it any moment. and like any gentleman, he decided to help you. you'd thanked him profusely, and when he simply smirked at you, he could see the flush creeping up to your pretty cheeks.
ever since then, he was a man possessed.
but he always had a rule to never mess with someone who works for him. he knows to keep his personal life and professional life separate. but it was so hard, when he'd see you bend over, your cleavage unknowingly almost pushing out of the little top you had worn that day. usually, people had to wear a uniform, but the first day you hadn't worn it, and rafe had told your supervisor to never make you wear one. he couldn't count all the times that he had jerked off to the mental image of you lifting up one of your pretty floral dresses and letting him fuck you in the country club bathroom. he was a grown ass man, and you had him acting like a teenager.
one day, rafe called you into his office. you were confused, and a little frightened, worrying that maybe you'd done something wrong. sure, your supervisor said he didn't mind when you broke a few (15) cups the other week, but what if rafe disagreed with him? i mean, he was your boss's boss.
even though the door to his office was open, you knocked on it gently, and the man turned around to face you with a smile on his face. "come in. close the door."
suddenly, your throat felt dry as you did as the man told you to; he had a commanding presence, a person would probably have to be crazy to not do what he asked them to. "why'd you want to see me?" you asked, your voice shaky and squeaky as he took a few steps closer to you.
"i just wanted to say," rafe smiled as he stopped right in front of you, only inches between your chests, the man biting down on his lower lip in between sentences, "that you're one of the best employees we have."
huh. that was the last thing you expected.
your eyes widened, and your words basically stumbled out of your mouth, almost as clumsy as you had been on your first day. "thank... you?"
rafe chuckled, bringing one of his hands to your chin and lifting it up so you'd look him in the eye, "what, you don't believe me?" he grinned, and even though his hand dropped away from your chin, it felt like the spot he had touched was on fire.
"well, i mean... to be fair, i think i kind of suck... i mean, i broke a few dishes, and i accidentally gave the wrong order to three different people today and apparently someone's lobster was-"
your rambling was interrupted by the blonde man's laughter, causing you to look up at him with wide eyes, while he simply looked at you with affection, "you're adorable." he said, causing your cheeks to flush slightly as he pressed his hand on your cheek, clearly enjoying your little reactions. "god, i can't believe you blush from just that. it makes me all the more curious."
"curious? about what?"
"about..." one of his hands trailed up and down your arm, causing goosebumps to form on your skin there as shivers ran down your spine, his eyes looking down at you wolfishly as he leaned closer, his volume dropping to almost a whisper. "how pretty you'd look if you were riding me on my office chair. or the kind of noises you'd make when you come. do you whine? do you whimper? do you moan? you know, it drives me insane."
your face heated up even more, his thumb now at the edge of your lips, and you could feel your cotton panties starting to stick to your folds as you looked up at him, not realizing that the doe-eyed look on your face was causing his pants to feel tighter. the situation was just like out of the dreams you'd had of rafe, the ones you tried so hard to forget, the ones that were so inappropriate to have of your boss, or, boss's boss.
"oh, uh... thank– thank you." you say with a small smile, the man letting out a chuckle, while your cheeks were feeling like they would light on fire any moment now.
"keep up the good work, sweetheart." he said, his hands dropping away from you, taking step back. and as you walked out of his office with your heartbeat in your ears, you pinched the inside of your elbow just to make sure that hadn't been a dream.
#rafe cameron#outer banks fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader#outer banks#rafe fanfiction#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#outerbanks rafe#rafe smut#rafe x you#outer banks rafe#rafe imagine#rafe fic#rafe obx#rafe cameron headcanons#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron smut#outer banks fic#outer banks smut
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