#this could be about motivation but its also about the fact that sometimes rn my fingers have delayed responses

[silverskye13]

I have a question about the "short" story (and seriously, don't sell yourself that short (ha), that was incredible and amazing):

what level of canon is this? Is it still the same sort of "filler episode in anime" canon, or more, or less?

Regardless, absolutely stunning and I loved every single second of reading it in my bones. It's so wonderfully done, from Tango's realisation that HK is more complicated than evil or not evil, to Wels' begrudging help (if only because HK is suffering more than he would wish on anybody), to the universe section (and just you wait universe, that spark of never was and never should be is going to become a shining, glorious star and you will love it all the same as your precious hermits), to the simple act of cleaning the armour, setting right what was wronged. So absolutely gorgeous and breathtakingly written and every time I read your writing I fall a little more in love with the way you tell stories!!!!

[wiggles my hand back and forth]

Canonicity is hard to answer, I still think "anime filler episode" fits best. It's not going to be brought up in RnS, but it's affected by RnS events. If I tried to put it in the main fic, it would destroy the canon timeline, but it clearly happened after one thing and before another. For me, these shorts are mostly character exploration [which is why I compare them to anime filler because that's what filler episodes are generally used for, aside from padding time.] It's helping me clarify thoughts and motivations, so when I breach similar things in the main plot, I have a better idea of What, How, Why. So to me, they're canon.

Helsknight having a very real, and very new, fear of being overly cruel in the face of violence when he started the story as a character who thought knights were allowed to be both knightly and, you know, mean, and still be knights -- I think that's something he'll have to wrestle with. And Helsknight worrying about being measured based on his own choices and perceived shortcomings divorced from Wels is something I think he'll have to reckon with. And the fact that the Hermits don't know about shaky helsmet respawn, don't have context for how Wide a world hels is, also needs reckoned with in RnS.

I don't think it'll necessarily be handled the same way in RnS. The specific circumstances of the short isn't going to happen in context. But things that bring up similar points will happen, and it's nice taking a second to start hashing them out for myself in a lower stakes place first.

Hopefully! That makes sense!

As to the rest of that! Thank you!! For the kind words!! Honestly this "short" [hah] was a lot of fun to fiddle with. A lot of fights and philosophy, and also? RnS Helsknight and Tango fun dynamic? I wish they got to interact in the main story more. There is so much shenanigan potential there. Both of them need someone who'll pump the breaks on whatever crazy things they're gonna do next, and while Helsknight isn't necessarily an enabler, Tango sure as heck is.

[Also! Glad the Universe bit was well received. I like the idea as this Thing That Exists and it's not quite sentient enough to have intent but not quite elemental enough to be blameless in what it does. I always picture it as like if a hurricane could observe and feel, but still couldn't necessarily control where it went. A force of nature that is along for the ride, and sometimes shifts its weight to throw things off the rails.]

[coff-in]

Coff-in?? Waiting for my response??? HHrrrk I'm blushing so hard rn holy shit Devious Anon is in love <3 Interestingly I think Reader killing Ashley is a possibility, but it's done under very specific conditions—like she has to be sure Andrew wants to kill Ashley before she takes on the job, ergo basically in the vision what I think would happen is Andrew is approaching Ashley with the knife and is visibly debating killing her and then reader kill-steals, kind of. Andrew asks reader why the fuck she would do that and reader replies almost innocuously, "She was causing you a lot of pain, and you would've cried if you killed Ashley, right? So I'll do it for you." She killed Ashley to keep Andrew for herself, yes, but also to spare Andrew the guilt of killing Ashley. I feel like it's harder for him to resent her under these conditions bc yk, he was about to do the exact same thing and she did it for him. NOW IF ASHLEY RETALIATES AND KILLS HER bro I don't think these siblings are ever going to come back together the same again bc now Ashley suspects Andrew and reader of being against her, Andrew has a looooot of mixed feelings (does he wanna kill Ash???) and reader is basically always a hair-trigger away from flipping out (she didn't think she wanted to kill Ash but now that it's in her head...)

Also also I realized I built up Devious Baby Sis reader a lot in my head but did not actually share most of it (she's basically a whole character now just without a name) so here it be! The reason why baby sis is the way she is comes from her observation of the family dynamic as the youngest—that is, she and Ash both rely on Andrew. Ashley is very openly needy about it, which reader notices tends to get on Andrew's nerves. They both baby her, but reader sometimes gets left out when her older siblings become too tangled with each others issues (ex. Nina's death is something i'm not sure reader would've been involved in). Reader is internally actually pretty insecure like Ashley, but instead of acting out (which she know annoys Andrew), she switches tactics so they act out for her—in jealousy. Basically reader is insecure and constantly tests their feelings because otherwise, she can't convince herself that she's loved.

CRYING AT THIS FEAST SO EARLY IN THE MORNING HRRRRGG It's not fair that Andrew's so fine it's actually illegal. He's in my head rent free (you can tell by the amount of asks I've thrown your way coff-in I need hELP) I feel like this is less an ask and me just building fanfic with you in your asks now :,D I just have so many brainworms lmao bUT IF YOU WANNA WRITE A WHOLE ASS ANGST FIC I ASSURE YOU I AM YOUR GAL << I WILL READ, I WILL DEVOUR

notes from coff-in: I WAS WAITING ALL EVENING FOR YOU BABES!!! AAAAHHHH ITS DEVIOUS ANON!!!! and don't worry about talking in my inbox, a fact you should all know is that i love to yap and talk (you also have a tag now! #devious anon visits the coffin)

[fem] reader-insert, [devious younger sister reader], incest

i don't know if i could elaborate more on the decay route because it's just too good man! the paths we've explored so far are all so fucking exciting! i am curious about how ashley would traverse her relationship with andrew and devious baby sis [reader] since ashley would be the only one seeing the vision.

i've also been building up this little devious [reader] in my head but it's all self-indulgent stuff. hearing you talk about why she is the way she is is pretty neat though! i have trouble keeping all to deep analysis stuff in my head and it causes me to lose track of character traits and motives and such :p i mostly saw [reader] is just being this little yandere manipulator, you know? she's genuinely happy with her siblings but she uses all these tricks and tactics to indulge in her incestuous feelings with her siblings while also not getting into trouble. she writes romantic poems for andrew but it's forged in julia's handwriting so he doesn't suspect it's [reader]. she gets naked while sharing a room with ashley and plays it off as okay since they're both sisters and siblings and only one year apart in age.

ah... imagine that she's in love with both of her siblings but thinks that andrew and ashley don't love her back or yet ARE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER. the conflict she feels about her romantic feelings to her siblings and her need to keep a secret to keep them with her. she fakes being an angel because she doesn't think that they'd love her back if they knew how apathetic she could be towards other people. even if she wasn't there when nina died (something she construes as something personal between andrew and ashley that she could never fit into), [reader] probably wouldn't have helped her out of that box. it made ashley happy, right? and andrew wouldn't have to get a girlfriend, right? all wins in her book.

she'd kill and maim and butcher and burn and lie and die for her siblings if she needed to (well, she probably wouldn't die without them ofc). they are her beginning and her end! her soulmates reincarnated as her siblings so that they'd be together forever (from the womb to the tomb, as i've seen said in passing). a lot of her personality revolves around andrew and ashley and while i want to work on that a little bit more in my silly little head, i think it could also be used as some sort of purposefully character flaw?

speaking of long fanfics, i have an ao3 account (that is empty for now) but maybe one day your devious idea could become a devious multi-chapter fanfic (with your permission of course. i want to make sure everyone gets their fair share of credit).

also, also, ALSO! imagine andrew and ashley celebrating [reader]'s birthday! :3 happy thought to make up for all the angst

----

coff-in

[thatbitchsimone]

(Trigger warning for anyone struggling with their relationship with food!!!)

I know this probably isn’t the best place to ask this question, but I don’t know where else to go to get an honest opinion and I’ve read your replies to a lot of messages and they’re really insightful and honest!

Do you have any advice on how to deal with weight gain in recovery from a ed? I’m struggling to find reassurance that’s it’s okay and normal and a good thing. I want to keep going in my recovery but I’m finding it really hard the further I go.

i cant fully grasp that dread anorexics feel about gaining weight since once again i havent experienced it but i can however ofc relate to the uncomfortableness u feel when ur body goes thru changes so thats the perspective im kinda gonna use here

the way ur body looks in the process/beginning of gaining weight isnt really the way ur body is gonna look once the weight has been stabilized and ur body has kinda ”settled down”. like ur gonna get bloated. ur gonna have water retention. theres gonna be puffiness. but thats not how ur gonna look forever like ur body is just trying to get accustomed to ur new intake and lifestyle. ur body has probably been deprived from A LOT during ur ed and thats gonna play into the way it first reacts to and handles the increase in food and weight as well. ur also not used to it yet. like ur brain needs to catch up. the goal of weight gain in recovery is also not to go from underweight to overweight. like ur not gonna get actually fat. the goal is to get u to normal weight. rn that may look fat to u but thats ur disordered brain distorting things like ur very blinded by ur disorder when it comes to whats normal and whats not like ur brain isnt even fully functioning rn bc its starved. idk what else to say like its gonna be hard but u just gotta ride it out. its like quitting smoking or drugs. u gotta ride out the withdrawal period like thats the first and hardest obstacle and then it will kinda even out and u will get some confidence out of the fact that u got thru the first trial like ur gonna be like yeah i did that i could do that like ur gonna feel strong and proud and thats whats gonna motivate u even further. overcoming hardships builds ur confidence more than anything and thats the sort of confidence that goes above and beyond the superficial like ur gonna gain this new appreciation for urself and ur body that is way more solid and real then just ur body looking a certain way or whatever like ur gonna start gaining true confidence. ur gonna be happier. focus on that like focus on the end goal here dont let temporary feelings and thoughts stop u from evolving. u already know this is what u want. ur gonna feel like shit sometimes but thats part of it like thats what recovery is u are recovering from bad shit and its a messy and sometimes terrifying exhausting road but u stay on that road. maybe u will stop and sit down at a bench on the sidewalk just to recharge and get a bit of a break but then u get up and keep walking again like u know u can do it and i know u can do it too

[sungbeam]

hi friend as your biggest fan u already know im always gonna hype u up so have my lengthy answers to the ask game:

1. My fav fic of yours - flight risk......im pretty sure its the first fic of yours ive ever read but oh god its SO good erics character and everything abt it ??? Had me feeling butterflies so many times i screamed and yelled into my pillow. Also inspired me a lot in my writing slump and like... i dont wanna be cheesy but helped me mentally bc i read it when i was having a rough time 😭👍 but also PARTY PEOPLE !!!!! so good. SO so good. oh and also the sunwoo hoodie drabble owns my ass i reread it like 5 times already

2. My fav chapter in my fav fic of yours - not my fav fic but the kiss scene in the practice room in off the record ??? slaps

3. The best character youve written for - swing my way eric honestly. so authentic to him imo TT i just adore his character in that fic a whole lot.

6. Something i remember vividly - that scene from flight risk when eric asked sunwoo if he wants to go skate w them and sunwoo goes "no, im down" and eric is like wtf and so sunwoo goes "no, im down. laying down in my bed" or something (the memory is not 100% vivid as u can see) but I legit slapped my knee that was PEAK COMEDY for me

7. Something that made me emotional after reading - that one chapter of somewhere only we know when intak describes how he wishes he could hear his brothers voice sometimes because if he missed him in that way maybe it would hurt less. That whole series is...very personal to me in sense of grief :,)

8. What i like the most about your writing - THE UNIVERSES U CREATE and like. The friendships and the characterization of each character and how theyre all their own person and not just a tool for plot. Also your comedy in fics it always has me giggling

9. A fic im excited for you to post - sangyeons love in unity fic bc i need to know whats up w that secret gf

12. A fic of yours ive reread - hoodie talk LMAO

13. Have i talked to anyone else abt your fics - yes i fangirled to my friend abt u multiple times also we talked abt rhapsody anonymous after it came out 😭👍

YOU. i will actually ksbfkenfkndkfnf 😭 i love u, bar !!! ur support of me has literally been the saving grace to my writing motivation; every time i write something, i always have u in the back of my mind and i wonder what you'd say/react and if you'll like it 🤧

makes me really happy to hear that my writing helped you through a rough time in your life 😔 i wrote party people and flight risk and even hoodie talk during a ,,, emotionally stiff part of my life where i felt super isolated and emotionally constipated, so it's good to know that the feelings i wanted translated *were* translated correctly, if that makes sense

HELLO I LOVE THE PRACTICE ROOM KISS TOO SKFNDKFNJFNF sorry coughs uhm haha def not like biased or anything *looks away*

OMG THAT LINE FROM FLIGHT RISK 💀 i actually thought i was so clever for that one, thank u for mentioning it and sknfkd YAY thank god u found it funny 😭😭 IN GENERAL, the fact that u find me funny at ALL is like ,,, im punching the sky rn im actually celebrating 🤧

ik i prob said this in the reblog of that one chapter of the intak fic, but that series also holds a really tender place in my heart :') grief is one of the things i feel like isn't written abt very much here, and i always seem to leave traces of it wherever i go, so it's nice to know someone can connect to the grief theme </3

thank you thank you thank you for all you've done for me (more than you even know), and for just being so flippin cool :'))) 💖

[starwell-tarot]

hello darling!!! 🐿️🐢

hope your gloomy day still went pretty well, tell me about it!

some advice i can concentrate better on - as a mentionned yesterday it is definitly true that i like challenge and i got motivated by the idea of trying to find a way to make concentrating in class smth stimulating for my brain ofc i still need to find ways to it right but its a really charming idea to me! i also need to focus at home and get work done there to be able to concentrate better in class so its a whole process that im ready to try out with the method your proposed to me

motivation - feeding my soul, how poetic wow it is true that im very lucky to study what im studying rn and its actually stuff that are useful in life and if i dont find it interesting then maybe it can still be informations that i can share with others right? there is an enormous amount of material in every law classes so i wont be able to memorize everything but your advice made me see things differently and i actually want to try to remember most of it on the LONG TERM and not only for exams! once again it is an advice that really speaks to me and that i will think about when studying

balance - i actually LOVE lists/ plannings/ etc like writing everything i want to do for the day and packing my schedule with many different stuff like seeing many friends, doing productive stuff for school, doing my hobbies it really helps me see how i spend my time and share out the different things i do (so i dont do the same thing over and over again) and i cant believe i FORGOT about it like i actually stopped doing it and i forgot i am so grateful for this advice

relationships - my friends often complain that i dont share intimate things with them like my daily problems and all but i actually just dont see what they could do about it? anyway i still struggle with these things i'll try to question myself more often to see whats the right thing to do for everyone when im in a bad spot like you adviced

avoid stress - im really not good at dealing with negative emotions lmaooo its also gonna be a challenging point i'll try to believe as much as i can that stress is not an end its just a signal just like you said once again thank you for your works i'll try my best

self care - its so beautiful! i live in the city so im not that much in contact with nature but its true that whenever i go help my grandmother in the countryside it feels refreshing i just need more time to do so! now that i know its smth that could help me i'll keep that in mind and prioritize doing in these situations! im a taurus after all! even tho earth is only my third dominant element im an earth sign lmao

words of encouragement - everyone seems to be wrong about everything its crazy ajkdhdbnzev i really should be more humble its a problem but anyway yes even tho i think some people are stupid deep down i'll still take their opinion into consideration just in case when in fact i shouldnt with your advice i'll try to accept that sometimes peoples advices just arent for me and maybe they'll help someone but its not my case! thanks

daydreaming - yes in my experience heavy daydreaming has been because STRESS, bored in my life and obligations i have that i dont want to do the problem is that it really put me in problematic positions everything comes down to stress at the end so if i understand how to deal with my stress i wont feel the need to escape like this :/ i'll definitily think about your advice and when i notice im starting to daydream heavily ill try to ask myself why and to resolve the issue

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR READING!!!!! everything really spoke to me and ill make sure to apply it well in my life from now on i'll think about your kind words and do my best!

Hello! My gloomy day was comfy 😁

Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a lengthy feedback 🖤 it means a lot and it's very helpful.

I'm also glad to hear you're enjoying the perspectives and ideas the cards gave 🤔

I went on a whim with the challenge thing and then I was like ... Wait a sec .. didn't they say they have Aries placements? It just clicked at that point. I knew i was right on the money 😂

I was so taken aback by that high priestess card. Truth be told I too had the same mentality in high school! I studied just to know things. To grow wiser as an individual. (Went to a science college (it's a high school despite the name)) So I can kinda see it! Law is very very broad of a subject and there's a lot to study. But it's also so so useful in life! I actually had some law students save my ass when I had a very bad boss at a workplace once they helped me with the contract lol So yeah i definitely think you can become very wise as a law student!

Glad I can help you get back to your lists, too! And uhm, I don't think any human is ever GOOD at dealing with negative emotions. I mean, they're meant to make us uncomfortable ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But being gentle and understanding and honest with yourself does make it better!

And I mean yes I see your point. Maybe your friends will not be able to DO anything about your problems but here's the thing. Keeping things hidden creates more stress in the human mind. It's like an extra layer. It's not just "I'm frustrated and confused" It's "I'm frustrated, confused, and keeping it to myself." If you talk to someone, it gets easier 😁 Plus, talking about what goes on inside your mind can actually put you on the spot in such a way you unconsciously organize your thoughts and find the answers yourself. (Like those scenes in movies when a character goes to rant to another one and they literally spend the entire time talking to themselves, giving themselves advice and thanking the other person although they did absolutely nothing 😂)

Literally when I was doing your reading i had "Go touch some grass, bro." In my head 😂 But yes, as an earth sign you probably could feel so much more grounded and peaceful if you interact with nature. 😁

And just wanted to remind you I answered your ask about the double interpretation tarot reading and you can send it to me anytime!

[sims-jonathan]

@thousand-eyedgirl SDHSGDSGD OK

so the first one is samantha-louise "anth" brooks . shes a 30-something nonbinary lesbian anddd shes like if a bird that flew into a window and died was an alive girl

i suppose you could say shes an unwilling [+ unknowing] avatar of the end ? she died as a kid for a total of Three Minutes and then Got Better . and since then she has had countless near-death experiences ! she feeds the end by constantly confronting doctors with disturbingly impossible cases. shes been a "medical miracle" on countless different occassions <33

she also ties into the gambling aspect of the end by. constantly putting her life in danger. because she's escaped death so many times, she Assumes theres something weird going on? but she doesnt really Know. so any of these accidents, as far as she knows, COULD finally kill her. but if it really is impossible for her to die, she wants to put that opportunity to good use! so she gets a job as a practical researcher in artefact storage . where she goes out of her way to mess with the Most Dangerous Artefacts She Can Find. and sometimes gets in trouble for trying to bring them home, because apparently her boss doesnt agree that its safer that way .

one fun fact about her is that when I first made her the idea was that she'd eventually get a girlfriend who would help balance out that "I Must Use This Power For Good By Putting Myself In Danger Constantly" instinct + help her Grow And Heal Emotionally. and then simply forgot to make her one . maidenless behavior fr

the second oc is sybil sherry !! shes a lesbian in her early 20s + shes definitely web ALIGNED but shes not quite avatar level . she had an Incident with the eye as a kid and ended up losing her mother . and is now trying to figure out what actually happened :]

and shes doing this by. interning at the magnus institute! though if you ask the other employees, none of them are actually sure which department she interns for . OFFICIALLY its research, but she pokes around everywhere.

her whole deal is that shes trying to bring down the institute from the inside . without drawing attention to herself. and starting from ground zero with no information about the entities. and making sure elias doesnt notice

she does this by presenting herself as the most uninteresting coworker possible shes the most average intern to have ever existed. nothing to Look At here !! she makes sure shes not too good at her job. not too bad at it. just sort of clumsy and boring to talk to but with just enough small talk skills to rope you into a conversation once in a while. shes very good at making people give up the information she wants without them realizing theyve given her anything at all :]

so she slowly figures out whats going on. and what makes each of her coworkers tick. all of their motivations and alliances and such. piece by piece.

shes rly just. npc coworker goes home to her flat with its 4-wall stringboard and meticulously adds information about all of the office's drink orders . whats that? isnt all of this concerningly similar to what the eye is all about? yk. the eye . the entity that shes trying to defeat? ummm. she tries not to think about it . trust her this master plan will come together at some point haha she just has to figure out all the moving pieces. and how to start moving them herself :] hey are there an abnormal amount of spiders in this apartment building do you think? hmm youre right theres probably not enough actually. my bad

i also have an oc ive never drawn from a fan statement i wrote :] her names jacqueline darby her house got sick . but i think thats all the infodumping you need rn SHDGSH thank you for asking abt them :D

fuck it . tma ocs be upon thee

[bamsara]

[threepointseven]

Tysm for doing all my requests ♡! I really hope I'm not annoying you. Can you do angst hc's where the brothers neglected and ignored MC and didn't realize how much MC actually meant to all of them, only after they were gone?

Type- scenario 🍄, HC’s 🌷

Flowers included!🌼= all the brothers x gn! Reader (kinda ooc!)

Note🍀= i wasnt really sure what you meant by ‘gone’ and the moment i realized you meant dead i was already half way through the hc’s...... im so sorry this took so long btw, i got into a car crash yesterday going to school and everything was a mess! but im recovering rn so keep sending requests! also ilysm thank you for always requesting you arent annoying at all mwah<3

💐Your bouquet has been delivered <3💐

25 days. 25 days since the brothers ‘dear’ MC had ran away and completely cut the brothers off from their life

From the start it only ever seemed as if you were an object. They treated you till you thought your destiny was to be used by these 7 demons.

They took you for granted. You would help them with difficult tasks and your ‘thank you’ was getting yelled at for doing something remotely wrong.

You were always shouted at, ridiculed, even after all those times you proved you were trustable and showed them care you still felt like they were judging you across the room.

Its the brothers fault, they were bound to lose their MC, after how they treated them? No one would wanna be there.

Its been days and there were multiple search teams.

Lucifer.

the sin of pride, the man refuses to say he misses you, or worries about you in the slightest. In truth, he was the first one to send out a search team

He regrets it. He regrets it so badly but how could he show that to his brothers when he’s been in situations where he was tempted to murder you in cold blood

All you ever gave the man was love and care yet he took you for granted and now you’ve run away from him. Who knows where you are now?

In denial that he’s part of the reason you’re gone

“MC is sensitive, they couldve never survived Devildom if they couldnt survive a bit of criticism they wouldnt have survived a month more.”

he truly misses you, he regrets it.

You had always stayed with him at night, gave him coffee and tea whenever he asked, held his hand, and hugged him when he was troubled;

He stays up at night thinking about how maybe you would still be by his side saying your soft words laced with love if he had just been a bit kinder.

Belphegor

Sleeps. Sleeps to avoid the fact that his hurtful, cruel words lead to you running away

You were always there to cuddle and snuggle into him even after the countless amount of fights. Always forgave him for his actions, to him you were a saint,

And impulsively he decided to break apart that saint’s little heart

Yes, he does try to find you but quickly realizes you're probably happier without his nagging abusive voice.

In the morning when he’s not sleeping he tends to daydream about you, about the rare times where he’s not threatening you or being hurtful to you.

He misses you greatly, he sleeps in your room sometimes but ends up crying too much out of guilt and goes back to his room

Beelzebub

He’s at an all time low. He ignored you for so long even after you treated him with care and love

You understood all his problems, fixed them and thanked you with completely ignoring you’re existence

Of course your hurt. No wonder you’re gone

He feels so guilty. So so guilty

He started stress eating ever since you left and realized how hard it is to keep himself in check without you

He barely had the motivation to get up besides to stress eat

At night he’ll dream about you, about little dates you had when you pestered him enough to get him to go on one with you

He wished he had gone on more with you. He wished that he treated you better

He tends to shed tears whenever he walks past your room, knowing that you're probably never coming back

Mammon

He loves you, he does truly

But he never got to show it correctly. Never had the guts to calm his mean cruel façade and be just the slightest bit loving

How would you know he was even interested in you when all he ever did was call you useless and names?

All he does is stay in your room at this point.

He just wants you to come back.

“Come on… come back already..i’ll be better… i’ll say i love you i wont hurt you anymore please just come back”

Does everything to try and find you

He begs diavolo to help him and even when he does you left no traces so they just can't.

Satan

Turns his sadness and guilt into rage

He doesnt know what else to do. He loves you and always will but he showed that love in such an angry manner that you decided to slip away from his arms

Goes into a fit of rage the moment he finds out, tears are flowing out of his eyes while he destroys his room

Everything is in shambles by the time he calms down

Does everything and anything to try and contact you. Its almost pitiful watching the sin of wrath scroll through pictures of you in his phone, eyes swelled up as he locks himself inside his room

He starts reading the books you recommended to him. Books he threw out cause he thought anything that came from you was irrelevant

He feels so so bad… he knows full well you’ve probably passed, devildom isnt an easy place to escape.

He puts polaroid pictures of both of you up on his wall when you were both happy together

Leviathan

locks himself in his room.

Not even his favorite anime or manga can reduce his guilt.

He shuts everyone out and only ever stays in his room

The guilt and sadness is killing him, he loses all motivation to do anything

Whenever he sees anything that correlates to you he mutters out a small emotionless “sorry” in hopes that his whispering apology will reach you

He hates it, he hates everything. Everything reminds him of you and he cant stand it

Goes insane inside those four walls, he can barely take care of himself as the only thing that hasn't rotted in his room is henry

But even Henry reminds him of you, it hurts him inside and he dreams of a life where you’re together, where he doesnt ignore you where he doesnt shut you out.

Asmodeus

Drinks and fucks around to forget about everything he did. All the cruel stuff he did to you, where he spared you no mercy and ridiculed you till you ran away crying

He’s a demon, you cant blame him right?

What did you expect?

This isnt his fault, its yours for believing you could ever get close to a demon!

He’s in denial he’s at fault and that you’re gone

Visits your room and pretends you’re still there.

He pretends as if he’s actually talking your ear off about some clothes he found at the mall when he’s really just going insane

All the one night stands, all the bottles can't replace the feelings you gave him, the butterflies he’ll never feel again because no matter how much he loved you on the inside, he hadnt had the guts to reciprocate your feelings. Out of fear, out of fear that he would end up treating you like the sin of lust treats people.

The sin of lust, the one that treats people like objects only to please him, the sin that doesnt care what it takes as long as he gets to get wasted

You dont deserve that. You’re a saint. He thought. Eventually you ran away because of how much he ignored you.

oh how he wish he could turn back time..

[cinefairy]

im persisting for a new life. i live in a toxic household w an abusive family, and i don’t really have many friends at the moment. im sorry if you consider that a trauma dump but girl :(. —and i dont feel like acknowledging that im non satisfied rn will affect anything for me personally.

i’m not gonna want to hear “your manifestation is probably not appearing because you’re manifesting from a place of lack/desperation/impatience” from other blogs bc like no shit with these circumstances WHO WOULDNT FEEL THOSE THINGS? that shouldn’t stop anything.

its not the luxury clothing or iphone 12 that im worried about. i know the good life isn’t separate from me but yeah i do *need* a change to that reality ASAP!! like, today. i shifted to my desired reality-like into another house in a different country but it freaked me out so i tapped out. i want shit to appear “naturally”. anyway, ik you have maybe a vagely similar experience/past ??

maybe id like just like some motivation tho eiypo lmao im tryna soothe my human self and ill do other things to help w that too.

i dont want to vainly affirm or use anyyyy more energy to visualize. i dont want to try to convince or delude myself to knowing for a fact. i dont want to deeply relax into the void. i dont want to script. ive done everything i could ever do i know ive done WAY more than enough but i just desire it to appear now, nowww. im so determined but im still human and im tired. the power is within me ive proven it to myself many times. sometimes even tho u know something on a mental level, you still may not feel its a fact in your heart of hearts. thats my current assumption.

but girl i just needed to vent on that. im taking this spiel as proof it’s happening incredibly soon tho. now onto me contradicting all this with my desired self concept lmao. sorry its so long and i understand if you dont wanna post it.

TRUST ME! its okay to vent. its okay to feel your emotions, its okay- don’t ever keep your feelings inside of you for the sake of your manifestation, and i totally relate to how you’re feeling. you venting and releasing how you really feel isnt gonna do shit to your manifestation trust me.

i just want to acknowledge how you’re still so powerful!! even how shitty your life might seem you’re still trying and it makes me happy. from someone who has once been in such terrible circumstances, never give up. if i had gave up i wouldn’t be where i am rn.

1. STEP INTO YOUR POWER

i can already sense your power, i KNOW you’re amazing- i know you’re gonna manifest your desires and ik you’re gonna be okay one day. trust me on that, step into your divine power and know you’re 100% that bitch. mentally and physically because you are. go have self conversations with yourself on how AMAZING you are!

2. SELF CONCEPT

self concept is really important and ik you’re probably sick of hearing self concept too, but self concept really is the foundation of everything in life. self concept helped me in similar circumstances as you if that helps.

“i manifest so quickly and easily”

“nothing stops me from manifesting my desires”

“i love myself, i love what im becoming”

“i am strong, independent and amazing”

“i can easily manifest anything i want”

“i am a powerful manifestor”

“i am confident in my manifesting abilities and i know that my manifestation is inevitable no matter what��

3. KNOW THAT YOU CAN MANIFEST ANYTHING, NO MATTER WHAT.

ik a lot of people say you should ignore the 3D. now i believe you shouldn’t, i mean if you’re in the worst of circumstances..how can you? so just KNOW your manifestation is inevitable and its gonna be happen no matter what.

also you have SAID WHAT YOU WANT. meaning you dont have to do anything else but step into the knowing that your manifestation is inevitable.

[wine-mom-wheeler]

An Analysis on El's Playist (just anti Melvin parts)

Sometime last week I had the idea to listen to El's Spotify playlist and I found some Byler evidence/ anti Melvin evidence. El's playlist also foreshadows her storyline in s4 with a lot of songs about escaping. This is just a post about Byler rn so hang tight.

Blow Your Mind (Mwah) by Dua Lipa

https://open.spotify.com/track/7kJlTKjNZVT26iwiDUVhRm?si=SdIMYJ54Rt2MDqOjqg346w

‘Something money can’t buy' Is definitely referring to when Mike was at the mall after lying to El, especially since you can’t buy someone’s forgiveness. And the fact that if Mike really wanted to put in some effort into apologizing to El he would’ve gotten some eggos for her.

‘Tell me I’m too crazy' It mentions being crazy but it’s someone saying “you’re crazy.” In s1 Nancy always tells Steve he’s “crazy” or “this is crazy” never once calling herself crazy. We all saw how Stancy played out and how it’s been parallel to midleven before.

'You want some more' Mike wants more as in he wants someone to be his beard and El is the easier person to use as a beard.

Let Me Go by HAIM

https://open.spotify.com/track/26Ij4Z5uXledB0fRg7V9av?si=3Y-mYGDUQcqrObXzYd8Dng

This one also foreshadows El being kidnapped and her dynamic with the people capturing her. I'll only be underlining the lyrics that have to do with midleven

‘I’d give you everything I could give' El giving mike a sense of stability in his sexuality so that he doesn’t have to face being gay in the 80s by using El as a beard.

'But take on everything you can' Mike is taking on being gay in the 80s and him struggling to figure it out.

'I won’t wait till day you beg again' These lyrics remind me of Mike trying to apologize to El in the shed where it could have been seen as him 'begging' and also how max said that Mike will come begging for forgiveness but then he rushed to beg forgiveness to Will.

Revenge by Patti Smith

https://open.spotify.com/track/00QrHgrVlYOsleK3Vb62OJ?si=pYiZDu9tQmuLfHV0GS0ThQ

'Don’t hesitate now' Mike hesitates to act with El. Lucas has to urge him to say sorry. He doesn’t kiss her back during their goodbye scene. He hesitates to say he loves her back and he hesitates to explain to her what he means by crazy.

'Needed you, you withdrew' Mike all of a sudden 'withdrew' from their relationship. El asked him if he remembered what he said while looking for the flayed. He 'all of a sudden' decided he ‘didn’t remember'

'I thought you were some perfect read out' El thought Mike was perfect until Max told her otherwise.

'And it secured phased my view of the wicked hand you played' El didn’t see that Mike had an ulterior motive to be dating her. I’m not saying that Mike is wicked but he did screw up by using El as a beard.

'I gave you a wristwatch' El didn’t give Mike a wristwatch but Mike and Will both have matching wristwatches.

'For ghosts of our love have dried and faded' The little bit of love that was in Mike and El's romantic relationship is gone and there’s no more of it. I think El has lost the need to be with Mike romantically.

‘There’s no use faking it' Nothing good will come from Mike if he fakes a relationship with El. 1. It will ruin the chances of him and Will getting together, 2. It will ruin Mike and El's relationship and 3. It’s detrimental to Mike himself.

'Ah, the spirits are gonna close in on you tonight' Mike is going to realize he's gay because its too hard to ignore now that he’s older.

'All the gold and silver' Mike looks at a gold teddy bear while looking for something to apologize to El with.

'Couldnt measure up my love for you, it’s immaterial' Their relationship is immaterial therefor mike trying to apologize to El why buying something for her was useless.

That concludes my analysis (there are definitely more to come)

[iwaisuke]

i like you so much, you'll know it

ft. kageyama tobio, semi eita, iwaizumi hajime x fem!reader

genre: fluff (prompts are based off lines of the song)

masterlist

a/n: from the c-drama a love so beautiful :) i wrote this at like 4am so sorry if its crap haha. not proof read either. also, sorry in advance if they're too ooc lol im a mess rn.

» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

i like your eyes, you look away when you pretend not to care i like the dimples on the corners of the smile that you wear. i like you more the world may know but dont be scared cause im falling deeper baby be prepared.

» today was your first day at karasuno highschool. honestly, you were so scared. that was up until you found out kageyama was going too.

» the two of you had been childhood friends due to each others grandparents knowing the others. you had been with him through his ups and downs. his victories and defeats. almost everything kageyama did, you were there with him.

» actually, you didnt know kageyama was going to karasuno until you walked outside your door to find the raven haired boy in the same school uniform as you

» "tobi? you never told me you were going to karasuno?" giving him a side eyed grin. "i thought you were planning on going to aoba johsai like oikawa senpai and iwaizumi senpai"

» you viewed kageyama as someone who expected others to reach his level in order to be a good match for him. he had a strong head on his shoulders. naturally gifted in volleyball, like everything was given to him on a gold platter. of course, he wasnt perfect and thats where you come in and keep him level headed. helping him understand his faults and weaknesses as well. doing your best to encourage the setter

» he let out a sigh. a slight frown forming on his face. "i didnt get in.." he quietly said. "karasuno has a good volleyball team though and i can feel myself growing here" he stated bodly

» and boy was he right. something about kageyama did changd that day. he usually was so bitter and angry. a very pessimistic look on life if he and others weren't at the top. maybe it was the orange haired boy, hinata, that the setter and you became friends with. and maybe it was his great senpai's who were patient with him and gave him the opportunity to grow

» kageyama started smiling more often. his small unnoticeable dimples showing. he became kinder. softer. and more carefree. he was a growing boy both mentally and physically.

» what you didnt realize was that not only was kageyama changing, you as well, had something changing and growing in your heart.

» but kageyama noticed. oh boy did he really notice, the way you seemed to become happier and livelier by the day. how the stars sparkled in your eyes when you talked about something you enjoyed. the kind of perfume you would wear and how you would tie your hair differently each day. the weird trinkets you just seemed to love that decorated your bag. but most importantly, how much bigger your heart has become, loving everyone and their faults. always encouraging and motivating him and his team.

» was she always like this? he would constantly think to himself. all of a sudden being hyperaware about you... but he would NEVER let you know that, let alone his senpai's. it was just too embarrassing. just thinking about the never ending teasing he'd get from tanaka and noya senpai made him shiver.

» all of these things he felt about you hit kageyama like a truck the day everyone started to wear their winter uniforms.

» picking you up to walk to school together was a normal thing since the two of you lived close, but how was kageyama suppose to do this now when you're standing in front of him. thigh high socks to keep your legs warm, an oversized jacket that you had borrowed from him a while back you forgot to return. white mittens to cover your cold hands and the slight blush on your face from the wind chill.

» "does it look weird?" you shyly asked. kageyama was silent. "ah.. give me a second. I'll go back in and change real qui-"

» kageyama tugged on your hand. "its fine. lets just go to school or we'll be late." refusing to look you in the eyes. heat rising to your cheeks as tobio dragged you along with him.

» your feelings for the setter had blossomed over the past few months. falling deeper and deeper into him, and at this point you felt like you couldnt hide it anymore. you just had to tell him. tell him all the wonderful things he's done. the way he's grown and how much he means to you.

» "tobi..." your soft voice spilling out. eyes closed, the fog of your breath coming out as you exhaled. "i lik-"

» you felt something wrap around your neck. "wait y/n..." kageyama spoke, interrupting what you were about to say. not gonna lie, you felt like your heart was about to be shattered like ice eventhough kageyama continued to wrap his scarf around your neck.

» "dont say it..." he quietly said as he began to walk forward without you.

» ah... is this what rejection feels like? i didnt even get to say it properly... your hands felt colder now that kageyama wasnt holding them anymore.

» he took a quick glance back at you. blush on his cheeks. "be prepared because i want to be the one to tell you first."

i like the way you try so hard when you play ball with your friends. i like the way you hit the notes in every song you're shinnin' i love the little things like when you're unaware, i catch you steal a glance and smile so perfectly

» semi eita, your 3 year heart throb from the moment he first spoke to you.

» at first, you had suppressed these feelings, telling yourself he would never look at you the same way. but something about the blonde tsundere struck a chord in your heart that you just couldn't forget.

» the two of you ended up becoming friends. closer than you had actually imagined within these past 3 years. doing everyday life with you. waking up and saving you a spot at breakfast. helping you with your studies in exchange for being his workout buddy and motivator.

» semi kept his tabs on you. your likes and dislikes. the things that made you smile and the things that made you groan in disgust, but he would never let you know that.

» to semi, you were his breath of fresh air. the song he has on repeat everyday. the kind of person who would keep him on his toes. in a good way of course

» "oi what are you daydreaming of this time?" semi asked as you zoned out while drinking your carton of strawberry milk. "hm? oh nothin. just thinkin about whats in store for us today!" reaching your arms above your head letting out a stretch. "i just know for a fact. today is gonna be a good day." semi chuckled at your optimistic claim. "how do you know for sure?" "i dont know how. i just do" you replied with a smile on your face.

» today, shiratorizawa had a practice match with aoba johsai and today, eita was picked to be in the starting line up. the pure joy that radiated from his body. maybe today was a really good day just like how you had said.

» semi took a quick glance up into the stands, you gave him a thumbs up and wished him good luck. his smile was brighter than you had ever seen it and his eyes shined like stars. he always told you that whatever chance he got on the court, he would be sure to not let his team down no matter what. he was in his zone. playing his best and sure enough, they had won all 3 matches.

» after practice, semi and you would hang out at his dorm afterwards. he liked to show you all the new songs he was working on. whether it was a cover or a song or a song he was writing on his own.

» the two of you leaned against the wall as you sat on semi's bed. his sheet music all sprawled out before him on his bed sheets. guitar in his arms and you beside him.

» "what are you working on semi?" "a song" "well obviously dum dum" you laughed, reaching out for a paper in front.

» "so who's the special lady?" you teased him as you read the lyrics. deep down inside you could only wish these words were meant for you. a blush formed on eita's face. "just... shut up about it... its not ready yet"

» it was getting late and falling asleep at semi's place was a normal occurrence at this point. your eyes became heavy and your head started bobbing.

» "sleepy?" eita asked as he noticed your eyes drooping. "mhm. sing for me semi? please?" his voice was so soft like a mothers touch yet somehow had the power to pierce through your soul sometimes. although, it never failed to help you fall asleep when you needed it.

» hesitantly, semi started humming. softly speaking some lyrics here and there. you didnt know where the tune was from so you listened the best you could.

» "... till the last of snow dissapears ... till a rainy day, becomes clear. never knew a love like this, now i can't let go..."

» your eyes had closed. slumber taking over you as you fell onto semi's shoulder.

» "im in love with you... and now you know..."

» yeah. today was a good day. just like you said it was going to be.

in a world devoid of life, you bring color. in your eyes i see the light, my future. always and forever i know i cant let you go. im in love with you and now you know

» to iwaizumi, unlike volleyball, oikawa, maki, mattsun, school, anything life threw at him; you were the thing in his life that was constant yet at the same time a whirlwind of new beginnings. not in a bad way though.

» ever since you were kids, you showed iwaizumi the beauty in things he would have never guessed had. he was bold and tended to look over things without giving them much thought. his eyes straight ahead to the trials before him. you on the other hand, stopped him and slowed him down from rushing into them blindly.

» "every moment is precious. you should learn to cherish it because you never know when it's gonna be your last" you always said

» your views of the world were beautiful compared to how cruel it actually was. naivety maybe? or maybe it was just because you were blessed with a kind soul.

» iwaizumi always knew he had feelings for you. you had been with him through thick and thin. he could depend on you and you could depend on him. in his eyes, you were the most beautiful person on earth. deep down he had hoped the two of you could stay like that forever. nothing could ever change that.

» or so he thought...

» "iwa chan~ you owe me a meat bun" oikawa whined as the group of friends were walking to the gym for volleyball practice. "shut up crappykawa. i already bought you one last week" "oi isn't that y/n over there?" maki said, shaking iwaizumi's shoulder.

» sure enough it was you. apparently you had told iwaizumi to go ahead of you today because you had something to take care of in the afternoon. telling him you'd meet up with him after practice was over. not thinking much of it, he bid you a farewell and went on in his day.

» "oooou by the looks of it, this is the perfect confession scene" mattsun teased. "oi stop messing around" iwaizumi's voice hoarse. not gonna lie, iwaizumi felt his heart drop when mattsun said that

» the 4 boys crept closer to see what was going on.

» there you were, standing in the middle of a classroom with a black haired boy. "mhm. definitely a confession." oikawa stated. "shut up tooru we cant hear" maki retorted.

» you weren't considered popular in school but that didnt mean people didnt know who you were. iwaizumi knew you were gorgeous and on top of that, smart, kind and one of the sweetest girls, so it was only natural that people would be drawn to you.

» they watched as the boy got closer and closer to you. voices barely being audible to the 4 boys outside. iwaizumi's heart could bear to see this right before his eyes.

» without even thinking, his feet moving on his own, iwaizumi barged into the room. all eyes towards him.

» "iwa what are you-" without letting you finish, iwa dragged you out of the classroom. "iwa where are you taking me" asking him as he took you to who knows where, leading you up the stairs of the school.

» up on the roof, he finally let go. "sorry..." he mumbled.

» "sorry for what iwa?" "for ruining that confession... i just-"

» "you just...-?"

» "i just love you ok?!"

» your heart shook at the resonance of his voice. iwa liked you? he liked you back?! wait no- he loved you.

» you had loved iwaizumi from the moment you met him and as the two of you grew up, your love for him only grew deeper. he was the only one you'd ever look at. the only one who would ever cross your mind. you had hoped he felt the same about you but he was always so busy with other things you only felt like you would be able to support him on the sidelines as he faced the world head on like he always does.

» just being in iwaizumi's presence was enough for you. no need to be greedier, you thought. its good to be content with what you have, but just knowing that he shares the same feelings... its ok to be a little greedy right?

» your silence being louder than it should have been, iwaizumi took it the wrong way. "look I know this isn't the greatest confession. heck it's not even the way I wanted to confess to you, and get it if you like that other guy, you don't have to-"

» shuting him up with a kiss, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. needless to say, he was shocked, but embraced you as well.

» "you're overthinking too much iwa. that's so unlike you" you chuckled. his face bright red at the previous actions.

» "i love you. I've loved you for a long time actually. every single second. every moment we've shared. i cant picture myself with anyone but you hajime."

» iwa let out a sigh of relief. a smile being brought back onto his face. "good because all I know is that i cant let you go. in the past, present and even in the future...."

» the blue sky slowly changing into shades of coral warmed your heart even more on top of his sweet words that you've always longed to hear.

» "im in love with you, and now you know"

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

enjoy your order! have a great day!

[sk3tch404]

(Resurfaces like in the Milk Cat meme) I've returned- YOOOOOO CONGRATS ON COMPLETING YOUR FIRST ROUTE!!!! 💃🏼💃🏼🎉🎉

https://imgur.com/a/CjwwBix

Shit wrong link, uhhh-

https://imgur.com/a/IihtOxh

There we go :D

That is one BIIIG Milestone reached, so even if you can't complete the full game, you're definitely ready to upload a fully fledged demo👌be proud yourself, you definitely deserved it bro, and about length, I think it's a good amount, considering the short timeframe you had to work on it.

Also don't even worry about character arcs, as long as your story has Beginning/Build Up/Climax/End you're good to go 👍. Sometimes it's better when you don't have everyone's backstory explained to you ya know?

For example Michael Myers, like yeah, we saw him stabbing his sister as a kid, but we sure as hell don't know why exactly he did it and what he went through during his stay at Smith's Grove Sanitarium, yet he still managed to be one of the biggest horror icons today. (I'm strictly speaking about the OG Movie btw, idk shit about what they did to him in the sequels)

Sometimes, just some cool shit happening is enough for a story, it's not like we're expecting a full on 24 episode Anime in LN form either 🤷‍♀️ also considering that it IS a Yandere Story, having sympathy for the LIs falls a bit short, when they're probably gonna go full sicko mode on us somewhere in their routes 0_0"

Yandere: (insert sad backstory) ...and that's why I have mommy issues 😔

Darling: (chained against the wall of the Yandere's house, hasn't seen sunlight for a solid week or so) cowabummer 😐

Like don't get me wrong, it's not bad if you want to put their full backstory in the game, but it also wouldn't hurt the overall quality of their route if you didn't (also you could save time 👀)

Anyhow, I hope ya treated yourself to some fancy food and rest or smth after completing the route 😎

Also, AYO NEW LI REVEAL?? Is the fact that he's human an invitation for me to beat his ass 👀? Jkjk but at least there's a feasible chance of me winning against him, compared to Rory lmaooo

So only the Triple Threats of Christian holidays are left to be revealed rn 👀👀 (or double trouble technically, since it's just two holidays, but you did also say that Easter are twins 🤔)

-Ren'py anon

WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKK YOU DREW JAYCE???

OMG I LOVE YOU SM IM BLUSHING HEHEBUHEUHUEUHHEU

YOU HAVE MY HEART FR OMG HEHEHHEHE HE DESERVES THAT TBHHHH

PLATONICALLY KISSES AND SMOOCHES U FOR THIS LOVELY PUMPKIN JAIL SACRIFICE 🌹💋💕😘😘😍😘😍❤😁🙌

GOOD NO GRIPPERS FOR HIM. I EVEN HAD PLAYER WEAR SHOES WHEN THEY GOT NAPPED BC IM NOT ENVISIONING BARE DOGS 💀💀💀

MINI JAYCE OMGOMGOMGOMG HE LOOKS LIKE THOSE JJBA MICROORGANISMS I LOVE ITTTT

AND ITS OKAY LOL HE WEARS BAGGY JEANS BC HES TRENDY AND INSECURE

This is really funny because in one of the endings is called jack o'lantern. This is their revenge ig lmao

omae wa mou shinderu

Thank you for the silly drawings! I'm so glad I got some cute fanart already hehe

Thanks again for the congratulations! Though it's not realllly finished, I have a couple of CGs and endings sewn in! I think I wanna change a few things so it's not just blatant trauma dumping lolol + script.gui things

It's bland and cheesy asf

Yeah, I think the line up for the storyline falls into Beginning/Build Up/Climax/End. It's not like I'm writing any flashbacks of his past so 😭 ur right

LMFAOOOOO Jayce does go sicko mode pretty quick, so, him wanting a lot of sympathy and him gaslighting tf outta player does goes strong here 💀

I haven't watch the OG Michael Myers bc I have no idea which one is the actual OG soooo yeah, but I totally agree with you! The premise of it is pretty cool and is still iconic even though his motives and identity are still very vague.

That little bit with darling and yandere is SOOOO true 😭 If darling stayed really friendly with Jayce (prob out of fear) he would trauma dump but not tell them everything. He's totally is attracted and interested in player, but he's just testing the waters yk?

damn, cowabummer fr

I could just have Jayce give player a story of when he was young that fully traumatized him, buuuuuutt Jayce doesn't trust player all that much. It would make player understand why he is doing what he is doing, but I want him to be vague and just a bit cruel without any known motives other than, "I like you."

After I'm done tweaking the dialogue and putting in the appropriate images, I'll most definitely take a fat nap and binge read fics hehe

LMFAO I MEAN IF YOU'RE AN ACTIVE PERSON AND WORK OUT A BIT, YOU MIGHT OVERPOWER HIM IF YOU'RE SMART. YOU'LL UNDERSTAND WHY WHEN YOU PLAY IT. HE MIGHT BE A LONELY LOSER BUT UNFORTUNELY HE CAN FEND FOR HIMSELF 💀

HAUGHGUHUUHUHAGH THE FUCKING CHRISTAN HOLIDAY TRIPLE THREAT HELPPPPP MEEEEE

Christmas man is a bit arrogant and a broke bitch (Elliot Astros lmfao)

He be looking like black and white toothpaste rn tbh 🤷‍♀️

His design was gonna look like he was a nice guy, but I looked through my old drawing from last school year, and I saw this really hot random OC guy I drew bc I was in my Tokyo revengers, Bonten era 😜 He was realllly hot and yk what, I said fuck it and just replaced the OG design for this fine ass mf.

The twins lowkey do illegal shit, but they're nice if ur nice.

They're ginger 😁and idk their names yet BUT IT'S A WORK IN PROGRESS

[shingogf]

And in celebration of my newfound drive to suddenly post and expand upon my (superb) opinions on my fav pieces of media, i must also say this: i dont rlly agree with the "hehe but its fun to imagine william had 0 motive to murder cuz hes just built diff lol!" affirmation like...yea ok but do u realize how dull and utterly boring that is from a writing pov. Scott cant fuckin write a linear story nor can he model humans to save his own life and has to pull 1000 books out of his ass to fill in the gaps and even THEN it still aint enough. So i can take the liberty to think about the what ifs.

Not negating the existence of serial killers that had a seemingly normal and uneventful upbringing doing what they did later in life at all, that IS a possibility. Theoretically the likes of dahmer and bundy could be put into that category (tho we'll never know for sure but i digress) so yes people who weren't abused or didnt go through major trauma can STILL commit heinous acts.

BUT i still think, for the sake of storytelling and character flavour, that it is infinitely better to say (this is fuckin fnaf lore we STILL dont have a clear answer of who was first nd i've seen many ppl who have diff interpretations when it comes to details cuz duh😑) that evan died FIRST and that was the beginning of william's downward spiral. Just imagine, an already unhealthy mind having to process such immense amounts of agony and grief. It's only logical he'll eventually snap and do something awful. And that only makes his folllowing actions all the more impactful and infinitely more fucked up.

I wont dive rn into the backstory of william that i made and how everything clicks into place when adding up the already known fnaf lore, but just the mere fact that he already by no means was a "good" person and suffered from untreated mental illness and then one of his OWN kids kills ANOTHER ONE OF HIS OWN like. USING HIS OWN CREATION. Can you imagine. That ultimately would make his already egotistical ass think "wow! life fucking sucks and if i cant have shit then no one will!" and thats precisely why he kills charlie afterwards, making her his first victim ever. And that was the only non premeditated murder bc it was done completely on impulse, he saw a chance and took it after henry berated him for his erratic behavior that resulted from evan's death bc it was causing up trouble at work and in their business relationship, so mans simply drove away angrily, saw charlie conveniently locked out of the restaurant and did it in a sick act of revenge that held nothing but pure pent up rage. And after he saw that he could even get away with killing his best friend's kid, he wanted to see just how much he could push it. This also makes sense when u think of when henry says "a wound first inflicted on me" at the end of fnaf 6 bc it implies charlie really being william's first murder and a personal one at that.

AND i have to say i also completely disagree with the whole william offed his wife and yeeted her into ballora theory. Not only would it throw more suspicion on william cuz at this point he had 6 victims and ppl deadass KNEW it was him, but i firmly believe mrs afton skeddadled sometime before elizabeth died. His fuckin marriage fell apart alongside everything else following evan's death in 1983. I believe ballora (just like how circus baby was modeled after elizabeth) was made as an homage to his wife and because it was clear the only family member he felt badly about was michael for obvious reasons. In my mind william always goes for victims he isn't emotionally involved with and actively avoids killing close ones (the only exception to the rule being charlie bc 1. it was done entirely on impulse and i believe its the only crime he regretted at least in the moment and 2. i dont think he was necessarily emotionally involved w charlie despite obvs knowing her, if anything i'd argue HENRY is more emotionally involved w william's kids bc he's a much more mentally healthy person than he is) a.k.a the double life serial killer if u will (think keith jesperson) like he literally cared abt his family in his own weird ass ways, he never wanted evan or ELIZABETH to die.

[frenchphobic]

long fucking post on why a c!dream is a shitty person and probably should not have a redemption because it is unpog

honestly i just want to refute dream apologists thats why im making this post. i think that dream as a villain is interesting but i think that trying to make him out to be secretly a good guy is just bad ngl. also /roleplay and all

tw for abuse and mentions of suicide

dream as a villain

dream is a villain. he is chaotic evil according to wilbur, deliberately does not stream to appear less sympathetic (and yet), and is set up as an antagonist to tommy who bears the title ‘hero’. dream is not a good person, no matter how you look at it or try to justify his actions.

‘but he wants to unite everyone to be a big family :((’ the ends dont justify the means believe it or not. having a vaguely positive goal does not excuse the actions you’ve done. it also goes hand and hand with saying dream is correct for punishing tommy the way he did because he acted up. if i socked you across the face and then suddenly said ‘sorry there was a roach on ur face’ does that make it okay? probably not i still punched you, enacting an unnecessary amount of violence. thats a very simple analogy i will admit and there are more complex comparisons. another example off the top of my head is say a child just scribbled all over you walls with crayons. would hitting them be a justified answer? if u said hes thats really fucked of u go seek help u loon. violence as a punishment is very toxic, just because it gets the job done does not mean it is okay. at the end of the day, you still committed this act and the harm you caused is real, having a good motive doesnt suddenly make it okay.

‘but tommy causes all of the conflict’ the disk war wasnt even caused by tommy, it was sapnap and then tommy got involved. and the reason why tommy even caused conflict was because of the discs, because he wanted them back. and most of the time there was a level of antagonism from another party, such as schlatt exiling him, dream taking the disks in the first place, dream threatening l’manberg. and if dream wanted to end the conflict so badly, why didnt he just give tommy back his disks? tommy upfront said everything started with the disks, so he wants them back so he could end the conflict. notice how after tommy got his disks back he has been staying out of conflict, apologizing to everyone, and the only bad thing hes done is try to scam people but everyone does that. this would have been the most peaceful option, yet dream chose the path that would further antagonize tommy which then draws everyone else into conflict. why did dream need to have leverage over tommy so badly? why did he want to hold power over tommy so badly? its because of control, and that’s ultimately dreams end goal. sure he wants a big server family, but would said family have a free will?

‘but dream is sad’ the thing is dream is completely at fault for everything that happened to him. he pushed away sapnap (and george ig). he tried to take control over the server and their possessions. literally everything that happened to tommy. literally everything involving ranboo. villains can be sympathetic, i am not arguing against that. but it does not mean that they should be left off the hook. that doesnt mean u should ignore the shit theyve done because ‘oh no theyre sad’ because it doesnt make anything better. dream had this shit coming for him.

now people also skirt around calling dream an abuser. which is fair ig, its a very loaded word. its much easier to say manipulated. that being said, dream can classify as abusive. and no, tommy is not abusive. abuse is about control and a power imbalance. dream has power over tommy, but tommy does not have power over dream, at least not in the way dream does. he’s taking back power to stand up for himself, dream uses power to control.

the reasons i listed for why dream is from the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project so if u want a source on that, there you go.

using coercion or threats: dream often threatened tommy, such as the pit thing and often employed violence on him. while normally this could be attributed to Normal Minecraft Player Go Smack. minecraft mechanics cannot always translate to real world since violence is pretty normal in minecraft however we also need to consider the context of the scene. dream gave an order, tommy refused, dream applies violence, tommy submitted. thats why its a threat, it has tangible effects that can correlate to real life.

using intimidation: dream blew up logsteadshire as a punishment. dream also destroyed tommys items anytime he visited. dream also hit tommy with his axe i believe. he killed mushroom henry, one of tommys pets.

Using Emotional Abuse: dream guiltripped the shit out of tommy for just hiding things and pinning the blame on tommy for just wanting his own private items. he definitely played mind games on tommy, pretending to be his friend. honestly i probably dont even need to go as in depth because it was so obvious.

Using Isolation: putting him in exile in the first place. destroying the bether portal so no one could visit tommy anymore. i really dont think i need to expand upon that.

Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming: dream in tommys stream when he got trapped said that exile wasnt that bad. he does shift the blame onto tommy for logsteadshire being blown up, even though dreams reaction was entirely unjustified for not listening and hiding.

Using Economic Abuse: see this is where i attempt to parallel minecraft mechanics to real life. obviously, there is no monetary system in place, so when i mean economic, i will use valuables such as armor, food, etc in place of currency. the idea behind economic abuse is to limit the victim’s resources so that they are dependent on the abuser and cannot escape. dream only really allowed tommy to have the armor he gave him while not giving access to armor so he does not regain a sense of power, and in the prison stream, dream holds all the potatoes which puts him in a position of power over tommy. this argument is more ambiguous i feel cause the whole minecraft mechanics thing is kinda weird so u don’t necessarily have to take this part in.

i feel like i need to emphasize this very strongly because dream is not a good person. abuse cannot and should not be a response to someone. its an awful mentality to have. i just want to prove the point that dream is not a good person, his reasons absolutely do not justify his actions.

what makes a good redemption

redemption arcs are tricky. when done right they are great. when done poorly, its a slap in the face. rn im going to establish a formula to what makes a good redemption with an example.

the most well known example of a good redemption is zuko from atla. first, its the magnitude of what theyve done and why. zuko did commit some shitty actions, since he was in a position of power in the fire nation but its because he is a child being abused and wanted to regain honor. zukos real awful acts was season 1 and the whole betrayal thing. thats not to say that zukos actions suddenly are okay, he did shitty things. but its something that can be traced to a higher entity or seem less malicious then the other villains. the thing also about the magnitude of actions is that there is a certain point of atrocities that there is no redemption. some people simply cannot be redeemed because the actions they commit are so ingrained in their character or the action itself has serious moral issues that it would just be wrong.

the next is acknowleding what they did was wrong. a genuine reflection on the self and analyzing what they did and why it was not okay. zuko realized what he did to uncle iroh was bad for example. he turned his back on his father, realizing he didnt and shouldnt seek acknowledgment from someone as heinous as him. its pointing out your actions and going ‘hey, this wasnt right i should not have done this’ and not even excusing ur actions. its also going straight for the root of the problem and figuring out to stamp it from the source. just because a character is sad does not mean they are reflecting, sometimes they are attempting to garner pity. it has to be direct and clear acknowledgement of the injustice.

and finally, an important part about redemption arcs is the actual redemption part. its when you make amends. zuko made amends with katara by trying to help her get revenge, he fought against the fire nation and tried to make things more peaceful in his rule. he apologized to iroh. an important part of the amends section is that it does have to be a genuine desire to change and become a better person, not to change a person’s perception of you. the thing is u cant expect a person youve hurt to forgive you. you cant expect people to be sympathetic towards you nor should u attempt to make urself sympathetic. u shouldnt be expecting a pat on the back or an award. redemption is about internal and character change.

why dream should not be redeemed

ive already established the key points to a good redemption (imo) but heres where dream falls short. his actions are extremely heavy so redemption may not even really be possible. abuse is not something you can wave off so it does cross to the point of fucked up. acknowledgement of what he did was wrong? all he said was that he changed, yet never explained why he changed or was too vague. he needed to label specifically what he did and bring it up. attempting to make amends? he’s been doing the exact opposite in fact he continues to manipulate tommy and ranboo. its not a genuine change. he is still repeating the cycle and has given no indication of ceasing. at the moment he does not have any signs of redemption.

and the thing is most of the attention around a dream redemption comes from either justifying his motives (which i do want to emphasize does not make anything suddenly okay) and because he is sad in prison sad face. these are not good reasons. its gonna pain me severely to bring this up but snape from harry potter does have some form of sad character ig yet he very much abused his authority to bully children as old as 11 just because he said ‘aight gonna die’ doesnt suddenly make his general bigotry and abuse suddenly okay there is a threshold. again im so sorry for using harry potter as an example none were coming to mind and i needed a popular one i do not like harry potter please dont say i do i would pass away.

and the last thing to consider is the audience. keep in mind that the audience is composed of minors and while yes there are adults, minors are the main component of the fandom. keep in mind that there are quite a few people who can relate to tommys character because they might be in the same position or have gone through his experiences. tell me what kind of message does it send to that audience that abusers can be redeemed. this is not a narrative u should push to this audience in these situations and the writers are seemingly aware of it. remember how in exile tommy spiraled into a suicidal mentality? consider how fucked of a message it would be if he just committed suicide instead of escaping abuse and attempting to recover from his experiences. tommy did an excellent job in not going that route and having a message of ‘it will not get better’. its the same thing here. victims are not obligated to care for or forgive their abuser, and portraying an abuser as sympathetic might fuck with the message a lot, even change their perception in that ‘oh, maybe my abuser was right, maybe they had a reason for treating me the way they did’. this is not to say that every victim watching this will internalize this message, but people also look up to these characters. there can be a degree of influence from the story onto oneself and thats the dangerous part.

conclusion

all in all dream is a shitbag asshole and probably shouldnt get a redemption because it would not be pog thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[we-are-inevitable]

modern art // javid (ch. 1)

A/N: hi !! so some of you may remember an old songfic i did in march of last year, titled ‘modern art’ after the song “IDK You Yet” by Alexander 23. well, i’ve always thought that that one shot would work great as a stand alone fic, and here we are! i have ch. 1 edited and SO MUCH of it as changed- like, for example, the fic is a chapter fic now !! regardless, i hope you guys like this !!

WARNINGS: depression, anxiety, self-deprecation, past addiction, mentions of addiction, just general Bad Times- pls be mindful when reading !! it’s just very Not Happy rn ADDITIONAL INFO: all characters are in their mid-twenties in the fic. oh also this is probably important but it’s a soulmate au !!

Read On AO3!

tag list: @bound-for-santa-fe @wannabecowboypunk @shippingcannons @yahfancyclamwiththepurlinside @smallsies @deliciouspeachpirate @newsies-is-my-erster 

Jack doesn't know what’s going on with himself, but he knows that he could really use his soulmate right about now.

They’ve communicated before. Never verbally, and never enough to reveal who they were. Perhaps they are both just... dealing with some unspoken fears, dealing with the worry of rejection sitting heavy in their chests. Perhaps they both like this mystery- the uncertainty that came with the notes scrawled across their bodies in a handwriting that isn’t their own.

Or perhaps they just aren’t ready to take the plunge. To grow up and face the harsh fact that, as soon as they meet, wherever and whenever that may be, a new chapter of their life will unfold. Consume them. Change anything and everything they’ve ever known or held dear.

They had been braver when they were children, that much was true. Jack remembers staying up late often, writing notes on his skin and watching in awe as the replies appeared. He remembers the giddy rush of trying to quickly wash off the ink on his wrist when they ran out of space to talk, and, oh, how they talked. There were school days when Jack would go to class exhausted, feeling like he’d been walking through quicksand for miles on end, but all of it had been worth it. The exhaustion he felt had been worth being able to talk to them until two, three, four in the morning. Sometimes he regretted it, of course, but only because it was harder for him to focus in class. Never because he was upset at them.

He could never be upset with them.

Even now, Jack remembers a lot about his soulmate. They liked music. They knew how to play the piano. They were into a few video games, even some that Jack had never played, and said that they always tried carrying a book with them wherever they went. Jack remembers that, as a younger kid, they liked Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, but also liked analyzing Shakespeare and Edgar Allen Poe and a bunch of other fancy authors that Jack had never even heard of. They were intimidatingly smart, and sometimes, would carefully correct Jack’s grammar whenever he misspelled a word or something- but they were never mean about it, they were just… there. A steady presence that he could count on.

Fifteen year old Jack dreamed of finding them one day. But now, twenty-five year old Jack is losing hope.

He can’t exactly help it. For starters, he and his soulmate haven’t communicated in… well, shit, it had to be nearly a year. Maybe nine months or so, but there’s no way to tell for sure, and even then, their conversations since reaching adulthood have been dull, for lack of a better word. A few positive comments here, a ‘have a good day’ there- it’s all so mundane, and neither of them can be blamed for it. They both have busy lives- or, well, Jack does, at least. His job as a graphic designer is hard enough on its own, but the added pressure of doing freelance work and commissions on the side has been eating away at him for weeks, coupled with debilitating self-doubt and lack of motivation for… anything.

Saying that he’s overwhelmed is the understatement of the century.

There is always another design, another client, another meeting, another deadline, another sleepless night as he stares at a blank canvas and prays for a spark of inspiration from whatever God is listening. Usually his inspiration comes from the world around him- his friends, city life, even the quiet confines of his apartment, but right now... Jack is stuck. He had holed himself up in his room days ago, trying and failing to get out of bed every morning when the time came to work- and thank God that the majority of his work could be done from home. His boss was understanding, too, to an extent.

Still, though, there’s a constant heavy weight on his chest that prevents him from moving most days, and he’s lucky if he even gets up long enough to shower or eat or do literally anything aside from lie in silence and count the cracks in his ceiling.

Nothing had happened to him recently to bring this on, from what he can tell. Jack has always been the happy-go-lucky leader, the man with a plan, the guy who always knew just what to say to motivate others into doing the best thing for themselves, but when that responsibility is reflected back onto himself, Jack feels helpless. There are words waiting to be said, sketches waiting to be drawn, designs waiting to be sent to clients… yet Jack lies there, motionless in his room for three days before he even has the energy, the willpower, to pull back his curtains and allow the sunlight to shine through. There is so much he wants to do, so much he needs to do, but he can't bring himself to do any of it.

In all twenty-five years of his life, through all of the things he’s been through, the ups and downs and foster homes and graduations and birthdays and funerals and therapists and rehab facilities and whatever the fuck else life decided to throw at him, Jack has never felt so worthless, so… lonely. His closest friends are all moving on with their lives. Many have already found their soulmate, have settled down and hidden their rowdy, rambunctious pasts behind skeletons in a closet. They’d all gotten their adventures done and over with in high school and college, and most are moving onto bigger and better things in life. They have careers. Families. Some have children, others have pets, a few have an insane amount of plants to care for.

All have seemingly left Jack behind in the dust.

No one told him when to flip the switch.

No one told him when he had aged out of adventure.

Now, they would never say it, but Jack knows. He knows. Saturday hangouts and trips to the bar had been replaced by Sunday church services and playdates for the kids. Rather than hearing yelling from his living room after his friends had all been teetering just on the edge between tipsy and fucked up, Jack hears the news, and documentaries, and podcasts, and the ghosts of a past life that he still seemed to be desperately clinging on to.

Katherine had been the one to tell him that he needed to grow up, though she didn’t put it in such a blunt manner. No, she’s just.... gently urging him to find a bigger apartment, or buy matching furniture from a place that is not a thrift store, or purchase dishes that weren’t of the plastic Walmart brand. She says it was because she wants to see him in a more professional, "adulty" lifestyle, but he knows it’s really because she can see that he’s a mess.

Deep down, Jack knows she’s right. She’s always right.

He just can’t help but feel cemented in place, dreaming of the past while dreading the new future ahead of him.

Jack never asked to feel so broken for no reason. All of the hope and optimism he had felt as a teenager was gone, lost in a sea of uncertain plans and shitty jobs and bill extensions and canvases dropped onto the floor with no rhyme or reason. And, yes, maybe Jack would look dramatic to someone who didn’t know his situation, but Jack knows what dramatic feels like. Dramatic feels like watching his best friend, Charlie, belt onstage in front of a backdrop that he helped create for the school play. Dramatic feels like laughing at the top of his lungs while walking through a random gas station at two in the morning, joined by Race and Al, all while higher than a kite. Dramatic feels like driving to the outskirts of the city with Katherine, climbing onto the roof of an old building and screaming about all of their stress, their anxiety, their insecurities, just to have some form of emotional release.

Dramatic doesn’t feel like sadness. It’s not supposed to.

Not for Jack.

He had been so… so happy, as a teenager. Proud and defiant and carefree. He was the kind of guy to skate and smoke weed in Central Park until midnight and take a math test at eight in the morning the next day. He was the kid who stood on a table in the cafeteria and came out as bisexual to everyone around him, just because of a dumbass bet that he didn’t even get paid for. He was the boy who wasn’t at all good in an academic sense, but who always knew how to talk himself out of trouble, who always came up with the most ridiculous- or most believable- lies to cover his ass when he needed it, who was always the class favorite, the teacher’s pet without meaning to be.

Jack had felt on top of the world back then, but now he’s struggling to even get off of the ground. The longer time goes on, the more lost Jack feels inside his own life. He feels like something was missing, something big. Something bigger than himself.

When his mother was alive, which now felt like lifetimes ago, she would often echo this old wives’ tale about how it’s best to find your soulmate while you’re younger, just to save them- and yourself- the pain of being alone for a long time. Jack had always kind of believed her; logically, he knew it was true, but he had always told himself that it wouldn’t happen to him. That he would be fine alone, though it wouldn’t be ideal, and that he would have plenty of time for soulmates after he got out and made a name for himself.

He’s starting to think, though, that maybe she was right. Maybe Jack had waited too long to make a move, to make contact again, because now, he just feels nauseous even thinking about it.

Don’t get him wrong, he knows the negative effects of self deprecation and not taking his own mental health seriously, he’s been to rehab before, blah, blah, blah, but, fuck, how could he put his soulmate through something like this? This fucked up state of mind he has now. Jack can’t even imagine talking to Katherine about this, and Katherine had been his best friend for over a decade. He can’t just meet his soulmate now- it’s been too long, he’s too messed up, they won’t like him, they’ll hate him for not trying hard enough, and Jack will just end up alone again, wasting away in his bedroom because no one fucking cares. No one cares. He has nobody.

That’s not true. He has Medda, his mom, his savior, his impulse control, but the thought of telling her that everything is acting up again makes him want to scream. He has Tony, but Tony has Al, and Tony and Al have a kid- a sweet little five year old girl who calls Jack ‘Uncle Jackie’ and takes no shit from anyone. He has Katherine, but Katherine has her soulmate- this dude named Darcy, who Jack doesn’t have much of an opinion on because they just met, like, a month ago, and Jack hasn’t exactly been emotionally ready for a hangout session between the three of them. He also has Charlie, and Charlie has certainly seen him in worse times- like when Jack was kind of hooked on pills for the entirety their freshman year of college- but Charlie has grad school to worry about and Charlie would hate him if he bothered him with this.

Still, there are other people who would listen, probably. He could easily talk to Elmer, or Romeo, or Specs, or Jojo or Finch or Sean or a fucking therapist but that’s just it, isn’t it? If he talks, he burdens, and Jack Francisco Kelly would rather run himself into the ground than be a burden anyone.

So, he makes a vow.

He makes eye contact with his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He’s gripping onto the sink, holding on for dear life, as he stares into his own sunken eyes. He takes in his appearance. Damp, messy hair, falling down to cover his forehead. Pale skin, which isn’t normal at all. Dark circles have taken their place around his eyes, and his smile- one of his favorite things about himself- is… nonexistent.

Distantly, Jack registers himself dumping a full bottle of ibuprofen into the sink. And then, he does the same thing with the bottle of melatonin from his medicine cabinet. The valium follows. He lets the water run for a long time. It's not that he doesn't trust himself- he'd done so, so good in rehab, and he doesn't even feel urges that often anymore- but it's better safe than sorry, especially since he's like... this.

This is not the Jack Kelly he’s used to anymore. This is not the Jack Kelly he wants to be.

But this Jack Kelly is the one who vows not to reach out. The one who vows to only answer when his soulmate is ready, and maybe not even then.

He doesn’t have to wait long, though.

Not when a heart appears on the back of his hand the next morning.

It’s there when Jack wakes up, and, honestly, it almost brings Jack to tears- but not necessarily for happy reasons. Sure, Jack wants to be happy. Who wouldn’t be happy after seeing something like this? A lopsided heart drawn in red ink, right on the back of his left hand- it was the definition of a symbol, of a romantic gesture, and Jack wants so badly to write back, to strike up conversation, to draw a goddamn heart, but… he can’t.

He can’t, and that’s horrible of him, and he knows it.

Right now, though… Jack can’t even work up the courage, the energy, to call his mom.

His soulmate, whoever they are, is going to have to wait.

[disaster-bay-leaf]

Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)

4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99

I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡

uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨

4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?

hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between

and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ���no✨)

6 - do you keep plants?

honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )

7 - do you name your plants?

yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj

9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?

oh god oh dude you have n o idea

i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time

12 - whats your favourite planet?

oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)

19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?

okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it

22 - are you a morning person?

n o

i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful

but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am

23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?

except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest

28 - sunrise or sunset?

i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock

but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose

33 - whats your fave pastry?

and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj

either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding

34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

awwww this is cute

okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes

46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of

what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*

47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)

52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?

the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj

but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too

as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about

59 - whats your favourite myth?

i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks

but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example

60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius

some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it

63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?

okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again

66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?

either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition

or something purple (maybe not belladonna)

83 - whats some of your favourite album art?

god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that

“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too

also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say

and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)

87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):

- the princess bride

- inception

- night at the museum

- SPIRITED AWAY

- forrest gump

- truman show

- E.T. (i cried okay)

- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)

- parasite

and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good

93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?

honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short

also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form

99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them

this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:

- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)

- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)

- tears and rain by james blunt

- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie

- almost home by mxmtoon

- anything by hozier really but shrike especially

- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)

- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)

- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers

- autoclave by the mountain goats

oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)