#this could b longer but oof

[piratefishmama]

Nest | Part 1

A Steddie A/B/O ficlet

One of the main things that all alphas within the clinic needed to be able to do every single time without fail, was to ignore the scent of an omega in heat. It took an impressive amount of self-control, not to slip into rut, that only happened in porn, but to maintain their cool, to maintain professionalism, to ensure their patients felt safe around the stranger they’d be spending the majority of their time with during their stay, where they’d be at their most vulnerable.

They had to be able to trust the alpha they were assigned to. Trust that they wouldn’t be taken advantage of when they succumbed to their most primal of instincts.

That being said… being hit by a wall of pure earthy, woodsy scents outside the number 69, maybe he paused at the doorway for a second longer than he normally would have.

He shook his head clear, then knocked three times on the door “Mr… uh…” he checked the clipboard “Munson?” wait… Munson? He knew that name… that was a familiar name. “May I come in?” There was no bulldozing into an Omega’s space at Nest. Even if it wasn’t their home, their rooms at the clinic were their space, and would remain their space until their time ended there. Alphas and Betas alike needed permission to enter.

There was a brief shuffling sound behind the door for a moment, before a quiet “yeah c’mon in” reached his ears. Steve rolled his shoulders, took a deep breath, in and then out, then opened the door and oh… oh that…

That was… wow.

That was an Omega experiencing the early stages of heat, or pre-heat, notable by a strong scent permeating the air meant to draw a partner in. It was meant to be enticing, it was meant to cloud the senses, to rile an Alpha up. It wasn’t the first pre-heat scent Steve had experienced, working in an environment like that, he knew it was basically just a hulked up version of the omega’s natural scent, but it was the nicest one he’d ever smelled. Kind of familiar too.

Earthy. Like camping in the forest, dirt, moss, nature at its finest. No amount of aftershave or cologne could cover it and in Steve’s humble opinion, why would anyone want to?

Okay. Professionalism. He was a professional. He’d completed his qualifications, passed all manner of psych evaluations, he was basically the golden boy of Nest’s Alpha staff, he could handle a pre-heat scent, the door closed behind him.

“He—” oof was that his voice? He coughed, clearing his throat, regarding the omega in the room with a warm smile. “Hello, my name is—"

“Holy shit—Harrington?” Steve paused. Munson. Munson. E. Munson. Eddie Munson. Oh fuck. He knew that name, of course he knew that name.

Hawkins wasn’t exactly a large town. Eddie had originally been in the year above him, jumping on tables, louder than life, an off-putting kind of Omega.

Then he’d been in the same year as him, still jumping on tables, louder than life, still making Alpha’s and Beta’s alike cringe at the idea of being anywhere near him, and then he’d been in the year below him still in school after still not graduating.

Apparently he’d finally managed to graduate that third attempt.

No amount of fresh earthy scent could possibly mask the fact that this omega, was a nightmare. There was nothing soft about him, nothing homely or gentle, he was loud, unapologetically so, he was largely expressive, he was nerdy, and theatrical, he liked to be the centre of attention at all times, or at least he seemed that way, and he could be violent if provoked.

Among many other outbursts, the most notable being that he'd slammed Billy Hargrove’s head against a locker hard enough to give the guy a goddamn concussion after he’d witnessed him harassing one of his nerdy little pack.

An Omega wasn’t supposed to stand up to an Alpha. He’d just walked up behind him, grabbed his head, and slammed it against the locker. No warning, no threat, he’d just snapped. Knocked the guy out cold then hurried his pack away.

He was everything an Omega stereotypically wasn’t supposed to be. “Munson.”

“Well, uh… this is a thing that’s happening then I guess.”

Steve bristled a little at the tone, arms folding over his chest, clipboard held against his chest. “You asked for me by name.” This wasn’t how the meet and greet was supposed to go by any means, Steve was supposed to show him around the room, was supposed to walk him through the amenities he had at his disposal, was supposed to explain how things would go, how the camera system worked, but Eddie had never conformed to normal, had he?

“I asked for Steve, I didn’t know you’d be THIS Steve. Gareth didn’t know your last name, dude, it’s not like he had a lot of experience seeing you in Highschool.” Right. Eddie wouldn’t have asked for him had he known. Because why would Eddie have asked for him, why would anyone stuck on highschooler Bullshit Steve ever ask for him to help them, why would anyo— “Whoa dude! Dude, chill out, god, don’t you guys wear patches?” He was holding his nose, wafting the air in front of him as if it’d personally offended him.

Steve had never been made to feel wrong at his job before. Never been made to feel unwanted there before.

“Not around Omegas in the clinic no, because Alpha pheromones when used correctly can make an omega’s heat easier, something which obviously I’m not going to be able to do for you since you’re clearly against it being me helping you. I’ll just— I’ll have someone else assigned to you. Our patients comfort is of the utmost importance.” Surely someone else had to be free, right?

He turned on his heel, missing the wide eyed panicked expression that crossed Eddie’s face by a fraction of a second. He didn’t miss the switch in scent though, the panic. It caused him to pause just long enough for Eddie to blurt out “Wait!!” Steve turned back to face him again, brows raised, expectant. “Listen—I’m… we don’t have bad history, Harrington… me an you, there’s no bad blood there, you were never shit to anyone I knew, or me… my only gripe about you was from shit I heard second-hand an-an I know what that’s like… everyone thinkin they know eeeverything about you cause they’ve heard a few rumours. Gareth… he vouched for you, he’s one of my youngest pups.” Pup. Pup. Steve tilted his head a slight to the left, so that’s how that little pack worked, hm? “He said you took care of him, helped him make Galgrun, right?”

“The dwarf with the big hammer, yeah?”

“Haha, Steve Harrington saying dwarf. Weirdest day of my life. But yeah. Dwarf with a big hammer and a height complex, it’s a funny character” he’d ran it by Eddie the second he’d gotten back home, jumped on the phone and called him about it, went through everything with him to see if he could include it in the next campaign since his previous character had met with a terrible fate. “I’m…” Eddie took a breath, shaky, nervous—Steve read it for what it was, knew what he was going to say before he even said it “I’m scared… last time I—I nearly hurt my uncle, he—he’s just a Beta, but he tried to help and—”

Betas could help in a pinch, they could bring an Omega back to their senses in high stress situations, but they’d only continue to be of ongoing help if the Omega saw them as a mate.

Familial ties could only help so much and for only so long.

“It wasn’t what your Omega needed, was it?” Eddie shook his head “thought of him as an intruder in your nest?” A nod. “Have you ever had an alpha near for your heat?” The clipboard had said no, but… sometimes Omegas didn’t want things recorded in paperwork for their own safety.

“No… I mean, my dad was an alpha, but he was gone before my first heat so—no, an it’s not like they’re linin up…” no, they weren’t. Alphas and Betas alike tended to steer clear of Eddie Munson. Feral not so little thing that he was.

“…Okay. Are you sure you’re comfortable with it being me helping you through this?”

He thought there’d be a pause, hesitance, he thought Eddie would um and ah about it, but no, Eddie was very quick to nod, nod and say “yes! Yes, if you’re half as comforting as Gareth said you were then… yeah. Please?” He’d have to send Gareth some cookies or something, since he’d clearly been saying lovely things.

“Alright, let’s get you through the welcome packet and then we’ll start with the basics, okay?”

“Okay.”

Part 3

[stuckyrogersbarnes]

keep your hands where i can see 'em

(bucky, nat, and Y/n)

Warnings: 3some, embarrassment, GxG.

Word count: 885

Female reader

You groan as you get up from a night of hardly any sleep. Yesterday the team decided to throw a major party for literally no reason whatsoever. "Fuck," you begin to get up, heading to the bathroom. You are a neighbor to Nat, whose room is on your left, and Bucky, whose room is on the right. You 3 shared a floor, and therefore, a bathroom. When you initially joined, you were very nervous about sharing the floor with the 2 hottest people in the compound. But, the longer you stayed here, the better it got. I mean, both of them got more comfortable, meaning there were occasional sights of Bucky looking hot as hell with no shirt on. And Nat occasionally wanders in a bra. 

To add to the tension, you like to tease them by leaving some of your sexiest bras or thongs in the bathroom. You walk out and look to your left, seeing Bucky and Nat sitting at the table eating something. They both look at you and stop chewing, staring deep into your soul. Your cheeks redden. "What?" You ask nervously. "Do i have something on my..." you look down and gasp.

You were in nothing but a deep red thong. Literally. You weren't even wearing a bra. You freeze in embarrassment.  You begin to run away but then you hear a deep voice say, "Wait!" you look over at Bucky, confused and ashamed. He stands up, only for your eyes to dart down to his massive bulge. This cannot be happening. "You look hot," he says in a low growl, "doesn't she, nat?" oh fuck. "Oh yeah." she bites her lip and walks towards us. "You think we're blind? hmm? we know you've been teasing us with your thongs and underwear in the bathroom everywhere." bucky smirks as he grabs onto your hair and pulls it hard. You gasp. "Please," you whimper. Nat chuckles and gets a hold of your neck, pulling you closer to her and connecting her soft lips to yours. You moan. Bucky squeezes your ass from behind. Bucky groans and connects his rough lips to your neck. You whimper as Nat disconnects her lips from yours and slowly begins to slide your underwear down. Bucky, from behind, begins to circle your clit as Nat bites your nipple. You begin to shake, almost coming to an orgasm. You could feel your heartbeat in your chest, it almost felt like it would hop right out.��

Nat pulls her pants down, pulling on your nipple. "You two are so fucking hot." bucky groans and begins to stroke himself from beneath his pants, still kissing your neck. "Fuck me, please." you whimper, desperate. They chuckle and take you to the couch. "Sit." you do. "Open your legs wide so we can see that beautiful pussy, Y/n." bucky demands. You do as he says, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Oof, she is so wet," Natasha groans. She then, pulls Bucky's pants down and kneels in front of him. "You're hu-huge" you stutter. "Now y/n, keep your hands where I can see 'em." Nat begins to lick Bucky's head and slowly puts the whole thing in her mouth. He groans, "fuck, I missed this." he grabs Nat's head and pushes her even further down, thrusting into her tiny mouth. You begin to shake again, your body begging for a release. 

"Your time, baby. Tell us what to do." bucky says, stroking his length as nat walks toward you. "You heard him. You tell u what to do. Anything." You gulp, "B-bucky, i want you to fuck me while i, um, eat Natasha out." you say, slightly embarrassed. Bucky doesn't say a word. Instead, he comes right towards you and plunges is cock into your tight pussy. You scream. Nat climbs on top of your face. She sits on your lips, you begin to lick, rating all her sweet liquids. she moans and begins to grind. You scream in her pussy as everything begins to go black, you feel your pussy pulsating against Bucky's dick as he pounds into you. You could hear his balls against your ass and suddenly, all your thoughts disappear as your eyes role to the back of your eyes. 

You come out of your amazing climax, seeing Nat lick your pussy and Bucky still pounding into you. Nat's pussy was 5 inches in front of your face, you could see her glistening and smell her too. You immediately latch your lips onto her clit and do the exact same thing to her, as she is doing to you. "Fuck, Y/n, how are you so tight?" Unable to reply, you moan. Just then, Bucky does something you never thought could ever happen by a man. He hit your G-spot, again, and again. You moan and begin flicking your tongue on nats clit. You all begin to shake, as all three of you reach your orgasm. "Fuck," Bucky groans, and you feel his cum in your pussy, making you orgasm even harder. 

"Round two," you say in a curt voice. They look at you, confused. "You said you would do anything i want. And i want a round two," they smirk and nod.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Steve takes Bucky’s ashes after Infinity War and mixes it with soil from Wakanda and soil from Brooklyn. He puts it in the prettiest urn he can find, one he’s sure his baby would adore, and puts it on Bucky’s side of the bed. He looks at it when he’s having trouble going to bed, thinking about how Bucky would hold him tight and kiss his cheek, whispering little “I love you, Stevie.”s in his ear. He places a fresh boquet next to it every week, along with Bucky’s and wedding ring.

When the panic attacks come, he usually crashes next to it, and Steve can practically feel how Bucky would wrap his arms around him, guiding him through deep breaths, and some days he swears up and down that he can feel. Bucky’s forehead kisses and the way he gently calms him down.

But at the end of the day, Steve aches at the empty space on the couch, the lack of smells in the kitchen, and the absence of his best guy’s laugh. He sits in Central Park and tries so hard to cry as quiet as possible.

Me, upon reading this with my own two eyes:

Jesus Christ

I will fucking sob.

Okay, okay, my first thought when I was no longer so vitally fucking shattered by this misery, lmao, was that what if... Steve certainly has an urn for Bucky as soon as possible, right? Steve can't bear to have him in anything that isn't beautiful and meaningful for the love of his life--his lives, plural, with how much life they've lived and how much of them they've lived together. However, I could see some of the therapy that Steve does over those five years after the blip being art therapy.

Much like when he was first thawed from the ice, he finds it hard to create--his muse is gone--but there's a loophole to his art block. And the loophole is having a goal, a thing to create in particular. Something for his love.

An urn.

I just have this image inherently in my head of Steve working his ass off, just to have something to do--keeping himself busy to keep him tied to Earth. So, he tirelessly slaves away at developing his skills with pottery. All in all, for the purpose of making Bucky's final resting place with his own two hands so he can, in a way, hold him forever.

Is there anything more permanent than fired clay, after all? In thousands, thousands of years, when whoever is left digs up their apartment, they'll find the fragments of Bucky's urn mixed with the soil, mixed with Bucky, and still held tenderly by Steve's creation for him.

For him.

To have and to hold him.

I, just, yeah. Steve making Bucky's urn himself. Oof.

"When the panic attacks come, he usually crashes next to it, and Steve can practically feel how Bucky would wrap his arms around him, guiding him through deep breaths, and some days he swears up and down that he can feel. Bucky’s forehead kisses and the way he gently calms him down."

Fucking CHRIST.

That is brutal.

"He sits in Central Park and tries so hard to cry as quiet as possible."

Can you imagine being a bystander to that? Because that's all I'm picturing. Just as a regular civilian, trying to move through your own grief, wandering in Central Park, and coming across Captain America as he sobs so hard his big, broad shoulders shake and he chokes, half-hidden by one of the older trees. You don't know if it's more painful to go up and say something, admitting you've witnessed him in this way, or to walk away and leave him to grieve alone.

Do you think there's a sweet little carving in that tree? Somewhere high in the branches where it's hard to find? Bucky + Steve, or more simply, faster and harder to catch, B + S, surrounded by a love heart? There, carved into the tree when it was young--when they were young.

Oh my fucking god.

Thank you for this! It's so terrible for my emotions. I love it.

[goodgirlssayiloveyoutoo]

People have said it, but I’m so frustrated I gotta say it again. In my opinion I feel that if Tim was being genuinely supportive of Lucy he wouldn’t have let the crime scene be compromised by the sprinklers. A) this is his role and duty as sergeant and a police officer who wants to see murderers be brought to justice and B) in not telling her it resulted in her being embarrassed in front of the entire precinct, dressed down by Wesley of all people and could have had real professional ramifications on her career if a murderer got away for her mistake.

I see the comparisons to Plain Clothes Day, and I definitely think it was intentional on the writers part. But my issue is that on plain clothes day Tim is the TO and Lucy the rookie, and he still ensures the vehicle is impounded so not to risk the crime scene being contaminated. She still learns the lesson and the criminal isn’t at risk of walking free. But that isn’t what happened in 6x01, if Lucy hadn’t been paying attention or sitting there they never would have solved it. Tim just lets the sprinklers go off? Let’s a crime scene be contaminated for what, to teach Lucy , a P2 and resident badass and oh ya his girlfriend… a lesson? I almost feel like a better word than undermined to describe what happened is “sabotaged.” I feel like if I was Lucy I’d feel sabotaged too. In the height of anxiety spiral your amygdala is firing so rapidly it is extremely hard to make any rational choices, Tim didn’t try to stop or help her (which we have seen him do!!! Many times! And he does it well!! 5x01?! Her rookie days!?) and just lets a crime scene that his girlfriend is in charge of be completely destroyed. 😭

I really hope it’s addressed in 6x02 cause I feel like this is OOC for Tim. He has never been shown, that I can remember at least, to risk the solving of a crime and finding justice to simply to teach a rookie or fellow officer a lesson. Plus they are no longer TO/ Rookie they are a couple, where is the equal footing we witnessed when they went undercover and Lucy was a bad ass UC? Lucy got lucky with this case and I am back to just hoping we get to see competent bad ass detective Lucy. I’m also hoping the show and writers use this as an avenue to explore what Tim actually being supportive looks like (knowing what to say to talk her out of a spiral about the dirty needle for just one small example), his reservations and own dishonesty around Lucy going UC and more of the argument at the end cause I, like many others, LOVE it when they give Tim and Lucy meaningful, angsty material. One of my fave scenes of theirs is the 2x01 fight Oof that was 🔥🔥🔥

[audreyscribes]

what do you think would happen to a demigod born on the camp. like, the mortal parent is also a demigod and is either dead, abandoning the child or like, being kind of an absentee parent and then vsiting sometimes so the kid kinda has to stay at camp from rhe moment they were born?

Oof, this is going to tough. Alright all those circumstances, they vary differently because a parent's action influences a child's life greatly and the situations have a lot of nuance to them. For simplification purposes, the demigod born from another demigod will be referred to as Scion. Also pardon for any lack of proper sense cause I just wrote this as much as I could.

A.) IF THE DEMIGOD PARENT IS DEAD:

It really depends who the other parent is. If the Scion's other parent is mortal, they will probably be handed over to them, and if the mortal parent is dead for whatever reason or doesn't want them, they'll either track down other living relatives from both the demigod parent and mortal parent. Worse case-scenario, they would be probably released to custody and be raised in an orphanage/foster care. It might seem harsh and cold, but Camp Halfblood doesn't have the necessary means to raise a child from as a baby. Plus, there's also giving them as much of a mortal life as possible angle.

If the other parent is a god, well, that complicates things slightly but are largely the same. They'll still try to locate the demigod parent's mortal living relatives but if that's not possible, then relinquishing them to custody, and so forth. Though depending, if the Scion demigod is too powerful or too dangeorus to be put around mortals, then yeah they’ll raise the child. However, let's just say Camp decides to take care of the Scion; putting aside why or when it happens. I'd imagine they would be primarily raised by the nymphs, watched over by Hestia, taught by Chiron, and so forth. I'd also imagine they would attempt to send the Scion to regular school, preferably like Yancy where they have a dorm situation. Again there's the angle of trying to have as much of a mundane mortal life as possible for the scion, plus also just having general education. And whenever there's a long break, they just go back to Camp like every other demigod. If the demigod scion had a mortal parent, they could sleep at the Big House or rest at their demigod parent’s cabin. If the demigod scion has a godly parent, then it’s that godly parent’s cabin. 

B.) THE CHILD HAD BEEN ABANDONED: 

I mean this is more or less what happened to Jason Grace, sort of? And he was dropped off at Lupa’s and then got sent to Camp Jupiter. If this were to happen, Chiron would have to make a secret call to Lupa what to do and remove all the wolf aspects and reappropriate them to satisfactory human activities. 

Otherwise, I feel like Camp would temporarily hold them while they search for their demigod parent since they’re more or less likely alive. Though it might be hard because at that point, the demigod parent is an adult (I HOPE) and therefore the threat of monsters is much less than when they were children; so they’re not probably coming back to Camp for safety any time soon. 

They would send out people to look for the demigod parent to bring them back to have answers or to make sure they’re alive, because if they’ve been dead to a powerful monster this entire time well-

There’s also the fact if the demigod parent abandoned them at Camp, there’s gotta be a reason right? In the sense that the demigod parent is being an ass and doing the same thing their godly parents did to them; so they’re probably going to find out why the demigod parent left them at Camp. Is it because something or someone is chasing after the demigod parent? Or is it because the Scion is too powerful and they honestly think they’re safer at Camp but why not just say so and stay?

Not going to lie, there’s also a chance that the longer the Scion has been at Camp, the more Mr. D would take over as a temporary guardian/patron before becoming a parental figure. He’s still hung over Theseus abandoned Ariadne because that’s what ‘demigods do’ so seeing the Scion being abandoned by their demigod parent? Oh man-

The satyrs and nymphs will be employed to watch over the demigod because in his words, “there’s no telling what danger this child will get into, especially with the clear lack and horrible parenting”- 

Kidding aside, Mr. D is a lot softer than he says and there’s also Hestia too. 

Though if the demigod parent comes back at some point, depending how long its been, oh boy, watch out-

on the other hand, Ariadane is going to be happy to have someone to look over.

C.) ABSENTEE DEMIGOD PARENT: 

Well it’s not really any better and the results will be very similar to what I just said in B. Though the difference is it by their own accord or is it because of a quest/mission?

Like if its the former, it’s just the same as B. If it’s the latter, then well that’s another story. 

The Quest/Mission is something demigods have to answer to and if it’s something the Camp requested or need, well what can you do? So they would watch over the Scion as best as they could. Making sure they’re safe, trained, and attend mortal schooling and etc. 

Though Mr. D would still take on the guardian/patron rule and becoming a parental figure in a way. 

Overall and in general, there’s also the angle that Dionysus’s cult were all equal, regardless of who and what you were (i.e. slave, commoner, etc) and everyone had a place and were welcome to Dionysus’ cult to be free and all that. So I have a feeling that Mr.D taking in the Scion child would be something under his domain. 

While Camp Halfblood is safe with their protection from monsters, it doesn’t really have the facilities needed to support a long livelihood, unlike Camp Jupiter and New Rome. 

[high-voltage-rat]

A long, LONG list of all the incorrect quotes I've ever done for Mechquest, featuring Ravyn, the Reliant crew, and Helia.

Dooder: Ravyn says you need a transfusion. what's your blood type, Sally?

Sally: B positive.

Dooder: I'm trying but we need to know your blood type!!!

Sys-Zero: crew, I have to say I'm very disappointed.

Dooder: well, you didn't *have* to say it. Could've just... thought it.

Sally: We need a plan to get back at Runehawk.

Starbuck: Okay, listen. First, we fill their shoes with wet cat food.

Sally:

Starbuck: Judge me all you want. I get results.

Sally: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this.

River: I just said “I have an idea,” and you just went along with it without question.

Ravyn: Okay, that's a lot of blood loss.

Sally: No it's not, I know exactly where it is.

Sys-Zero: Okay, we need to turn off the ship's internet connection for a while-

Dooder: NO PLEASE, I HAVE A FAMILY TO FEED!

Sys-Zero:

Starbuck: He's talking about his neopets.

Ravyn, watching Starbuck attempt to draw a mech on the blackboard in his tutorial: Do you take constructive criticism

Starbuck, known Dogshit Artist: Only cash or credit.

Helia, doing her annual mental health seminar: We call that a traumatic experience.

Helia, turning to Sally: Not a "bruh moment".

Helia, turning to Dooder: Not "sadge".

Helia, turning to Starbuck: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

Police Chief Duncan: You have the right to remain silent.

Sally: We choose to waive that right!

Sally and Starbuck: *screaming*

Sys-Zero: Remember, if you die in the flight simulation—

Sally: Yeah, yeah, I know, if you die in the simulation you die in real life.

Sys-Zero: What? No! You need to reset the simulation with the terminal! Why would you think that?!

River: To be fair, it would be very in-line with typical G.E.A.R.S. situations.

Sally: You know what? Let’s give it a go. What’s the worst that could happen?

River: Humiliation, embarrassment, fire, explosions, collisions, tears, nudity and death.

Starbuck: Sounds like fun!

Helia, doing a mental health assessment: Do you see yourself as a glass half-full or glass half-empty kind of person?

Starbuck: Half-full, definitely.

Starbuck: Half-full and constantly rising.

Starbuck: Soon the water will escape its container and consume us all.

Helia, scribbling on her clipboard:

Sys-Zero: Okay, crew, we're instituting a new policy for this shore leave.

Sys-Zero: If the thought of something makes any of you giggle for longer than 15 seconds, you are to assume you’re not allowed to do it.

River: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Sally: This energy blade is actually a magic wand of reverse necromancy.

Starbuck: Meet me in the Knife and Spork parking lot for a wizard duel.

Dooder, pointing at his mecha's cannons: I cast magic missile.

Dooder: Man, it smells like wrongdog out here.

Ravyn:

Ravyn: Dooder, are you alright?

Dooder: *sobs*

River: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?

Dooder: Put spaghetti in it.

River: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.

Sally: Put spaghetti in it.

River: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.

Starbuck: Put spaghetti in it.

River: I am no longer taking suggestions.

Ravyn, after the crew made jokes about her and Sys-Zero AGAIN: Hey, guys, remember when we agreed you weren't going to interfere with my love life?

Sally: No, that doesn't sound like us at all.

Helia: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it.

Dooder: I know, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out.

Helia: That's not how that works.

Dooder, singing: ~Hush, little mecha, don’t you cry.~

Dooder: ~Daddy's gonna find you some laser eyes~

Dooder: ~And if those laser eyes are a con…~

Dooder: ~I will destroy all of Loreon~

Sally: Should we tell him his comm is on?

River: Surgery is basically just stabbing someone to life.

Ravyn: I'm starting to reconsider having you assist me in the OR.

Helia: No, she has a point.

Ravyn: You have an impressive pain tolerance.

Starbuck: Thanks, it's the trauma.

Sally: Do you mind if I slyly mention that you’re single?

Ravyn: Do not do that.

Sally: You won’t even notice!

Sys-Zero, entering: Sally, how's the-

Sally: Ravyn's single

Ravyn:

Ravyn TA'ing Advanced Mecha Combat: First rule of battle... Try to keep the element of surprise. Don’t broadcast your location to the enemy.

Starbuck, sprinting past in a demo for Mecha Piloting 101: WHOO-HOO! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O’ ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo!

Ravyn: Of course, there are other schools of thought.

Sally, after a mental health check-in with Helia: Ok so, apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.

River: Your smile looks forced.

Ravyn, running on two hours of sleep: That’s because it is.

Sally: Yo dumbass, get over here.

Dooder: Okay-

Starbuck, gleefully running past: Coming!

Dooder, sadly: I thought... I was dumbass...

Dooder: I'm realizing so many things about the universe. Like, onion rings are just vegetable donuts.

Ravyn, used to the gang's tomfoolery: Huh. I guess so, yeah.

Dooder: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

Ravyn: Okay?

Dooder: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.

Ravyn:

Dooder: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-

Ravyn: Okay, that one is a little-

Sys-Zero, fascinated: Wait, I want to see how far this goes.

Dooder: Hey, Sally? I need advice.

Sally: I’m pretty useless at giving advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment instead?

Sally: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

Dooder: Mine just plays elevator music.

Sys-Zero, answering the phone: Hello?

Starbuck: It’s Starbuck.

Sys-Zero: What did he do this time?

Starbuck: No, it’s me, Starbuck. It’s actually me.

Sys-Zero: What did you do this time?

Ravyn, doing empathy magic: Why is the only sensation I'm sensing in your mind the... dvd bouncing logo screensaver?

Dooder: When it hits a corner perfect, I’m allowed one good idea.

Ravyn: How would you feel about being the subject of my next paper?

Starbuck: I'm bored, any suggestions?

Sys-Zero, who knows he's been awake for over 24 hours: Sleeping is nice.

Starbuck: I acknowledge your suggestion, and I’m deciding to ignore it.

Sys-Zero: Go to bed. This is no longer a suggestion, this is now a Threat.

Ravyn: okay, your leg might be broken. How would you rate your pain?

Dooder: 0/10, would not recommend!

River: There's a Shadowscythe bloodhound unit closing in on us!

Ravyn: Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it!

Helia: The power to believe in ourselves!?

Ravyn: No, a laser cannon! Shoot it!

Starbuck: What did you guys get in the yearbook?

River: 'Prettiest Smile'

Dooder: 'Chillest Personality'

Sally: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Ravyn: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Helia: The odds of this happening by coincidence are vanishingly small.

Ravyn: I would say infinitesimally.

Starbuck: And I'd say teenily-weenily. We all know words.

River: I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter “s”.

Sally, looking over at Ravyn and Sys-Zero: Is it “sexual tension”?

Dooder: Like they say, "If you can't beat them, curl up in a ball and protect your organs."

Ravyn: That... is actually not the worst piece of advice.

Dooder: Sally, what if there are monsters at the campsite?

Sally: Don’t worry, we’re top of the food chain.

Dooder, lying awake that night: I am the monster.

Starbuck: If we’re in trouble, just throw Ravyn at the problem, and hope for the best.

Ravyn: I don't think Starbuck should be in charge of tactics meetings anymore.

Dooder: Hey River, can you give me the opposite of these words?

Dooder: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.

River: Never, Going, To, Give, You-

River: The fucking satisfaction.

Ravyn: I never tell people off the bat that I'm trans. I wait. I wait until they say some transphobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm nonbinary right?" and watch the look of terror on their face.

Sys-Zero:

Sys-Zero: I love you.

Ravyn: Did you just refer to my scalpel as a “people-opener”?

Dooder:

Dooder: …Should I not have?

River: What are the hardest things to say?

Helia: I was wrong.

Ravyn: I need help.

Sys-Zero: Worcestershire sauce.

Ravyn: Seriously, Starbuck, how many people would you have killed if we’d asked you to?

Starbuck: That’s not important.

Ravyn: I DISAGREE.

Sys-Zero: While I'm gone, you're in charge, Starbuck.

Starbuck: Yes!

Sys-Zero, whispering to Ravyn: You're secretly in charge, but I don't want him to feel bad.

Ravyn: Obviously.

Sally in the junior crew group chat: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Ravyn and Sys-Zero's convo?

Starbuck: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.

Dooder: I'm in the washing machine.

River: I'm in the closet.

Starbuck: We accept you River. ❤️

River: No I'm literally in the closet.

Starbuck: Love is love. ❤️

Dooder: Do dragons fart fire?

Ravyn: I don't know.

Dooder: I thought you were a doctor.

Ravyn: It'll be fun.

Ravyn: We'll make a day of it.

Ravyn: Come on you punk bitch.

Helia: I can't believe I'm saying this.

Helia: But I don't have time to get tested for sti's with you tomorrow.

Ravyn, reading Starbuck's medical history: How the hell are you still alive?

Starbuck: Honestly, I’m just as confused as you are.

Dooder, looking at the holomap: It’s a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn't it?

Sally: You need to turn it on, Dooder...

Sys-Zero, on a video call with Dean Warlic: I have the utmost confidence in my crew.

Sally, in the background: Captain! Starbuck tried to make pasta in the coffee maker and now it's broken! Can we requisition a new one?

Ravyn: The fastest way to Dooder’s heart is through ch-

Starbuck: Chest cavity.

Ravyn:

Ravyn: I was going to say cheese, but yeah. That too.

Starbuck: Thanks for not telling the Captain what happened.

Ravyn, dumbfounded at the crew's most recent tomfoolery: I wouldn’t even know where to begin trying to explain this.

River: Do you think different paints have different tastes?

Dooder: They do.

Sally: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

Dooder: Hey, do you know anyone who can teach me to play the trumpet?

Starbuck: Why?

Dooder: I want to wander around playing it to annoy Sally.

Starbuck: Technically, you don’t actually need to know how to play the trumpet well for that.

Dooder: Dude, you have opened my eyes.

Starbuck's tutorial student: What did you say?

Starbuck: I said, whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a hoe!

Ravyn: Do you know the ABCs of first aid?

Sally: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.

River: What's the signal when something goes wrong?

Starbuck: We yell, 'oh shit.'

Dooder: ...That'll work.

Sally, knocking on the bathroom door: Starbuck, open up!

Starbuck: It all started when I was a kid.

Sally: That’s not what I-

River: Let him finish!

Starbuck: How do you want your coffee?

Sally: Black, like my soul.

Starbuck:

Starbuck: Sally, your soul is a latte.

Ravyn: This is a bad idea.

Starbuck: Then why are you coming along?

Ravyn: Someone has to suture your wounds, and Helia might strangle you if you show up in the emergency room because of something dumb again.

Starbuck: Today is Non-binary Awareness Day!

Starbuck, staring into Ravyn’s eyes: I AM AWARE OF YOU.

Ravyn: Starting to wish you weren’t.

Sally: The last time I went to the ER, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then Helia had to tell me that was meant for babies.

Dooder: I’m not lazy, I just find it hard to put effort into things I’m not passionate about.

River: What are you passionate about?

Dooder: Sleeping.

River: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

Sally: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

River: That wasn't an ambulance, Ravyn drove you.

Sally: But I heard a siren.

Dooder: That was Starbuck.

Starbuck: Sorry, I got nervous.

Ravyn: Is Sally always like this when she loses?

Starbuck: Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of 3008.

Sally: You bumped that table and you know it!

Dooder, going in for his wisdom tooth extraction: If you kill me, my teeth only have a 2% drop rate.

Dentist: What?

Dooder: Good luck.

Dooder, standing in the trash can: Hello, Captain.

Sys-Zero: Dooder, we've talked about this. You're not trash, you're at least recycling.

Starbuck, trying to encourage the crew before midterms: Don't fail.

Sally: Don’t tell me what to do! I'll fail right now!

Sally, two weeks later, getting an A: Dang it!

Ravyn: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.

Starbuck: We could attack them with hummus.

Ravyn: I stand corrected.

Starbuck: Just keeping things in perspective.

Helia: Here you go, Ravyn, a nice hot cup of coffee, straight from the hospital cafeteria!

Ravyn: It's cold.

Helia: A nice cup of coffee.

Ravyn: It's horrible!

Helia: Cup of coffee.

Ravyn: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee.

Helia: Cup?

Sally: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.

Starbuck: Awwww-

Sally: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."

Starbuck: Ah.

Sally: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos.

Sys-Zero: Was the knife and spork out of chocolate-chip pancakes again?

Starbuck: Guess what number I’m thinking of.

Dooder: 420?

Starbuck: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously.

River: 69.

Starbuck: Yeah it was 69.

Helia: How high are you?

Sally: Mm, I don’t know how to say it in feet.

Ravyn: No, she's asking what drugs are you on.

Sally: Oh, antidepressants and concerta, why?

Sally: Wait, if baby oil dissolves condoms, what does it do to babies?

Ravyn: Believe it or not, babies and condoms are made of different materials.

River: It’s like rock paper scissors. Baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby.

Dooder: Rock also defeats baby.

Dooder: When I got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Ravyn made me get tested.

Helia: Why do you think you're like this?

Dooder: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

Helia: You use humor to deflect your trauma.

Starbuck: Awww, thanks-

Helia: That’s not a good thing.

Starbuck: All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.

Sally: What can therapy do for me that screaming in my mecha's cockpit for 30 minutes can’t?

Helia, starting to wonder why she even bothers with the mental health checkups:

Ravyn: Starbuck, I beg of you. Please, PLEASE let me take you to the hospital.

Starbuck: Hey, I'm sorry. Is this OUR stab wound?

Starbuck, shattering a window and climbing through it: Okay, so, disclaimer as your TA and squad leader.

Starbuck, turning around and helping Dooder in: Breaking and entering is wrong, Dooder.

Dooder: Sure.

Sys-Zero: I am going to need you all to swear-

Starbuck: Fuck.

Sally: Shit.

Dooder: Dick.

River: Bitch.

Sys-Zero:

Sys-Zero: ...swear as in promise.

Sys-Zero: I called you ten times! Why didn’t you pick up?

Starbuck, remembering dancing to the ringtone:

Starbuck: I didn’t hear it.

Dooder, watching Ravyn and Sys-Zero together:

Dooder: They're cute. I would put them on a boat.

Starbuck: You mean... you ship them?

Sally: You think that’s cringe? Some people wait 9 months of pregnancy just to end up naming their kid Dooder.

Dooder: Hey, fuck you.

Dooder: In the team's defence, we were left unsupervised.

Sys-Zero: Starbuck was with you!

Starbuck: I was also left unsupervised.

Sally: My time at G.E.A.R.S. has taught me to think before I act.

Sally: So if I smack the shit out if you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.

Sys-Zero, outlining recent strategic developments: The Shadowscythe are likely trying to lure us into a false sense of security.

Sally: Well, joke’s on them! I’ve never been secure in my life, and I’m not about to start now!

Dooder: what do you guys want from the knife and spork?

Sally: the flesh of the unborn.

Ravyn: chickencow menstruation.

River: I will also have eggs.

Sally: Are you going to kill someone?

Ravyn: No.

Sally: So having your energy blade on at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

Ravyn:

Ravyn: I had to light my way to the bathroom.

Starbuck: I do two things and two things only. I devastate sorry motherfuckers, and get shit done as an awesome leader.

Sally, whispering to River: The sorry motherfuckers are us, aren't they?

River, whispering back: looks that way.

River: Be kind. Everyone is fighting their own battles.

Sally: Why would I be kind? I will be brutal and relentless and ride into battle by their side!

Judge: Does the defendant have any requests?

Sally: Trial by combat.

Judge: Ma'am, this is a parking ticket.

Sally: And I want to see if any of your pigs have strength worthy of my respect. Square up.

Ravyn: Sorry it took so long to bail you out of jail.

Sally: No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have used my phone call to prank call the police station.

Dooder: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions.

River: Ridiculous. Give me some examples.

Starbuck: Wasps?

Sally: Terriers?

Dooder: Sally.

Ravyn, doing an assessment of alertness and orientation: Do you know where you are?

Starbuck, coming out of heavy sedation: Dorito’s cool ranch.

Ravyn:

Ravyn: I'm just gonna assume "no".

Starbuck: I love that song.

Sally: How are you so calm?!

Ravyn: I’ve passed beyond “stressed”, beyond “hysteria”, into the gray misty indifference of complete shutdown of all but emergency services in my brain.

Starbuck: What makes you all smile?

River: My friends and Family.

Dooder: Free snacks.

Sally: The sweet taste of victory.

Ravyn: Cranial nerve VII.

Dooder: Do you know a turtle's only weakness?

Starbuck: No... well, their slowness.

Dooder: Their weaknesss is they can't roll over when they are on their backs.

Dooder: Now I have a plan.

Dooder: If we duct tape two turtles together, they'll be unstoppable.

Starbuck:

Starbuck: I know we're meant to be studying for finals right now, but I'm intrigued. Let's do it.

River: An apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Ravyn: An apple a day can keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough.

Starbuck: Okay, two person huddle.

Sally: You can't huddle with two people. This is just a hug.

Sally: ARE YOU-

Starbuck: Fucking.

Sally: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Starbuck: Fucking.

Sally: IDIOT!

Ravyn: …What was that?

Starbuck: Captain banned Sally from swearing, so I’m helping her out.

Starbuck: River’s out of the will.

River: That’s honestly fair. I deserve that.

Sys-Zero: You have a will? Already? You haven’t even graduated.

Starbuck: I’ve done some things in my life. Upset the wrong people. Sally, you have a will too, right?

Sally: Lots. Good luck figuring out which one’s real.

Sys-Zero: Does everyone know their job for today?

River: Monitor the comms.

Sally: Service the mecha.

Ravyn: Finish paperwork.

Starbuck: Make new paperwork.

Dooder: Pretend to be a wolverine.

Sys-Zero: 4 out of 5. Close enough.

Starbuck, to his tutorial students: Look, guys, if you can fit your head down the gun’s barrel, you can assume it doesn’t have a non-lethal setting.

River, on a dive for the museum: These jellyfish have survived for 600,000 years without brains…

Dooder: A ray of hope for me!

Sally: I learned a valuable lesson from this.

Sys-Zero: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lesson you actually should’ve taken away…

Sally: death isn't real, and I'm basically a god!

H.A.L.: How would you like your hair cut?

Ravyn: Preferably with scissors, Sally and River made me promise no more energy blades.

Sally: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?

River, crouching down:

Dooder, kneeling down:

Starbuck, sitting on the floor:

Sally:

Sally: I hate all of you.

Sally: Hey, Starbuck, where are you going?

Starbuck: Well, it depends. When I die, probably hell.

Starbuck: But right now I’m going to mecharoni.

Starbuck: It's a perfectly reasonable question, it's like having a living will!

Sally: No one plans for that.

Starbuck: Guys, would you tell Sally it's normal for friends to discuss when they'd like to be eaten in the event of a tragic Alive-esque scenario?

Dooder: Ew.

Sally: Thank you!

River: Believe it or not, I'm with Starbuck on this one. I would eat the three of you in the following order- Dooder, Starbuck, then Sally.

River: I've also made a list of whose organs I'd prefer in the event of needing a transplant donor, and I have a contingency for the situation where I'm the last remaining human and must choose one person with whom to procreate.

Dooder: Dude.

River: Don't worry, none of you made the list.

Starbuck, after Dooder pranked him during G.E.A.R.S. Games: Oh, what, Mystraven can't beat Wolfblade on the field, so now you're trying to beat us off?

River: You may want rephrase that, Starbuck.

Starbuck: Why don't I like this kid?

Sys-Zero: I don't know. Maybe it's because he keeps pranking you.

Starbuck: Maybe it's because his name is "Dooder". Don't you find that utterly ridiculous?

Sys-Zero: No.

Starbuck: That's because your name is "Sys-Zero".

Ravyn: Glass houses, Starbuck.

Starbuck: Ravyn? I mixed redbull with coffee and now I can see sounds, should I worry?

Ravyn, calling poison control: Starbuck, I swear to god—

River: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it.

River: Everything will be fine. You have no choice.

Starbuck: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that?

River: Ominous positivity.

Dooder: I'm not that stupid!

Sally: Dooder, you literally ate the wax from a mini cheese.

Dooder: STARBUCK TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!

Sally: Look, Captain, it's the good kush!

Sys-Zero: This is Vil-Mart, how good could it be?

Sally: We all know you love him.

Ravyn: I am not in love with Sys-Zero!

Sally: I never said who.

Ravyn:

Ravyn: Shut up.

River: Starbuck, you’ve tried 37 times and you’ve failed every time. Give it a break.

Starbuck: This is just first try part 38.

Sys-Zero: I hope you all make it to graduation.

River: That’s a great prayer.

Sally: A needed one.

Starbuck, watching Dooder repeatedly burn himself trying to eat a pizza pocket: A needed one indeed.

Sally: Guys, what's it like, being almost 40?

Sys-Zero: Well, my knee just cracked so loudly that I half expect it to glow in the dark tonight.

Ravyn: Also, people ask us questions like that, so...

Sally: It is 4am.

Sally: I am wondering why I’m still alive.

Sally: Send Mecharoni.

Dooder: The whole restaurant?

Sally: Caffeine doesn't keep me awake while I work, so instead I have River and Ravyn periodically send me texts saying ‘we need to talk.’

Sally: It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going.

Sally, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.

Dooder: Don't go to the kitchen.

River: Why?

Dooder: I saw a spider.

River: Well, did you kill it?

Dooder: It has 8 arms and I only have 2, it's not fair...

Sally: Okay, if we can't do it by sheer force, we'll do it my way.

River: your way *is* sheer force!

Sally: I have a philosophy in life; if the seat is open, the job is open. That’s how I briefly came to fly helicopters for the school.

River: Can you recommend a book that'll make me cry?

Starbuck: Advanced Mecha Systems, 9ed

Sally, reading from an article: Huh. Apparently the average salary of a clown is 51,000 credits.

Dooder: And yet we do it daily, for free.

Sys-Zero: But what about Dooder?

River: Don't worry about him.

River: I once watched him fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating his hotdog like nothing happened.

Sally, Starbuck, and Ravyn: AAAAAAAH!

River, running into the room: What's wrong, Ravyn?!

Sally: Wait, why are you asking Ravyn that when Starbuck and I are also here?

River: Because Ravyn wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

River: Dooder told me that brown is just navy orange, and I have never been more disappointed with something I agree with.

River: But seriously, what is the real plan here that has to do with not fucking around?

Sally: There is no plan that does not involve fucking around. But we will make sure all of our fucking around will be applied in a constructive direction.

River, running a tour at the museum: The dinosaurs didn’t rule the planet, they were just alive. Stop giving them credit for administration skills they didn’t have.

Sally: I’m going to dunk on you.

Starbuck: Bring a ladder.

Sally: We need an adult!

Dooder: Sally, we are adults!

Sally: We need an adultier adult! Get Ravyn!

*after discussing a plan*

Starbuck: Does anyone have any questions?

Sally: Is this legal?

Starbuck: Does anyone have any relevant questions?

River: What are you planning to do?

Sally: "Planning"?! Do you KNOW who you're talking to?!

Starbuck: Ravyn, say aluminum like an Arthurian again. It's the entire source of my serotonin during these trying times.

Ravyn: Only for you, buddy. Alyoouminnieeum.

Ravyn: Huh. I can't remember the last time I watched a movie.

Dooder: Dude, you need to stop saving the world and get a hobby.

Ravyn: Hey, what’s the name of the guy who teaches unapplied philosophy?

Starbuck: His cats' names are Walter and Rose.

Ravyn: That's not what I asked.

Starbuck: That is all the information I remember.

River: Hey, I heard you like reptiles, got any fun facts?

Dooder: If a crocodile eats your dad, they become your new dad.

Ravyn: We’re kind of missing something guys.

River: Cohesion?

Starbuck: Teamwork?

Dooder: A general sense of what we’re doing?

Sys-Zero: And Sally isn't here.

Dooder: Oh, and that, yeah.

Sys-Zero, at the annual teaching awards ceremony: Well, first of all, I’d like to thank Ravyn, the love of my life, for telling me Denara was going to win so don’t bother to prepare a speech.

River: If this plan goes down the drain, where should we regroup?

Starbuck: The afterlife, I guess.

Ravyn, texting Sally: Text me when you’re home safely.

Sally: I’m home dangerously.

Ravyn: Stop it.

Sally: I’m home lethally.

River: Starbuck just insisted we all remember a code word in case we’re ever confronted by their clone or a cyborg doppelgänger and we’re not sure which is the real them and which is the imposter.

River: Some crews just have a ship evacuation plan, but not us.

Sally: Preparedness like this is why we get all the cool missions.

Sys-Zero: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!

Ravyn: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Sys-Zero: I love you.

Dooder: What the hell, that worked?

Sally: Hey, Ravyn? Can I get some dating advice?

Ravyn: Just because I'm with Sys-Zero doesn't mean I know how I did it.

River: *sighs*

Sally: You bored?

River: Yeah.

Sally: Wanna start drama for no reason?

River: I thought you’d never ask.

Sally: Have I ever told you that I love you with my whole heart?

Ravyn: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to MechDonalds. It’s 2am!

Sally: Mean.

Sys-Zero: Why are you late?

Starbuck: A technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bout of unconsciousness.

Sys-Zero: Overslept?

Starbuck: Overslept.

Sally: That shirt looks great, Ravyn.

Ravyn: Thanks.

Sally: But I bet it would look even better on the Captain's floor.

Sys-Zero: Are you hitting on Ravyn... for me?

Sally: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!

Ravyn: Sys-Zero, I can't imagine what Starbuck is planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it and it won't be legal.

Dooder: I want to be like a caterpillar.

Sally: Explain.

Dooder: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful.

Ravyn: You know they have a lifespan of a week, right?

Dooder:

Dooder: That's just another highlight!

Ravyn: Can you come out?

River: Yeah gimme a minute…

River: Ravyn, I’m gay.

Ravyn: I know that. Come out to the car.

River: Okay.

River: Car, I’m gay.

Helia: I’m not being weird. Am I being weird?

Ravyn: Yes, and that’s coming from me.

Starbuck, bursting into the room: You two are fucking!

Ravyn, not looking up from their book: Really? Sys-Zero, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.

River, in mecha engineering 101: I don’t think our death ray is working. I’m standing right in it, and I’m not dead yet.

Dooder: Hey guys, what are your favorite kinds of pudding?

Starbuck: Pudding deez nuts in your mouth? Is that what you were about to say? Do you gain joy from tricking your innocent comrades? What if I actually wanted to tell you about my favorite pudding?

Sally: You strike me as a pistachio guy.

River: I started school with straight A’s. Now I’m not even straight.

Starbuck: Team A will consist of myself, Sally, River, and Dooder.

Starbuck: Team B will consist of Ravyn.

Ravyn: Can we PLEASE take Starbuck off tactics planning

Sys-Zero, texting: Answer your phone

Sally, texting back: Wait a minute, I can’t find my phone

Sys-Zero: Understood

Sys-Zero, 5 minutes later: You’re a terrible person. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing your captain, Sally.

Ravyn: I give up. I am so tired.

Dooder: Get the emergency supply!

Starbuck, handing Ravyn a picture of Sys-Zero smiling:

Ravyn: I want to protest but that actually kinda worked.

Starbuck: What are you up to today?

Dooder: Nothing.

Starbuck: But you did that yesterday!

Dooder: I wasn’t finished.

Sally, near tears: I have the sex appeal of a math book!

Dooder: Listen, dude, I’ve never met anyone that opened a math book and didn’t say “fuck me”.

Ravyn: What kinds of sounds annoy you?

Dooder: Are we talking real sounds or imaginary ones?

Ravyn, now interested: Lets say imaginary.

Dooder: Spiders wearing flip flops.

Sys-Zero, hungover after a night at the SC Lounge: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.

Ravyn: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.

Sally: Don’t mansplain this to me!

River: Wh- I’m a woman! I can't mansplain anything to you!

Sally: …Well, I’m a feminist, and I believe a woman can do anything a man does!

Ravyn: Sally... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Sally: Your text told me to satanize the kitchen before you returned.

Ravyn:

Ravyn: I appreciate the dedication without question, but I wrote sanitize.

Sally: What are your three best qualities?

Starbuck: I’m hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends.

Sys-Zero: Last night I found out Ravyn is a sleep talker.

Helia: Oh, really?

Sys-Zero: Recited the cranial nerves. Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.

River: Can you keep a secret?

Dooder: Do you know anything about my life?

River: Huh. No, I don't. Good point.

River, in a ghost hunt for Mysterious Johnson: Are you really planning to shoot the ghost?

Sally: Don't worry, my mecha has holy guns.

River: How so?

Sally: They make holes.

Sys-Zero: Wanna hear some dark humor?

Ravyn: Uh, sure.

Sys-Zero: Alright.

Sys-Zero, turning off the lights: Knock knock.

Sys-Zero: We both look very handsome tonight.

Ravyn: You know, if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you."

Sys-Zero: I couldn't take that chance.

Starbuck: Where are my fucking keys?

Ravyn: Starbuck, your C.O. is around, can you say it a little more professionally?

Starbuck: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!

Sys-Zero: I suppose he did do what you asked.

Starbuck: You’re our Captain, sir, we would do anything for you.

Sys-Zero: Great, I want you to eat 3 meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Starbuck: Can't you just ask us to solo an attack on an enemy base or something?

Starbuck: Why aren't there friend pick up lines? Pick up lines to make friends like-

Starbuck, to Dooder: Hey, that's a cute outfit. You know where it would look better? On nobody else, because you're a beautiful individual.

Sally, to River: Be my friend or I'll set your entire family on fire.

Ravyn: There are two types of people.

Sys-Zero: Who broke the toaster?

River: It was Dooder.

Ravyn: It was Dooder.

Sally: Dooder broke it.

Dooder:

Dooder: ...yOU PROMISED-

Sys-Zero: What’s something you guys are better than Starbuck at?

Dooder: Galactimecha Battle.

Sally: Yeah, video games.

River: Emotional vulnerability.

Ravyn: Dooder just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then reached down and untied my shoe.

Dooder: Hey, can we stay in your dorm tonight?

River: Why?

Dooder: Starbuck was messing with a ghost trap he bought at Mysterious Johnson's and accidentally haunted the entire floor.

Sally: he doesn't know how to banish spirits, so he just threw salt at them and yelled "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"

Starbuck: Alright, guys. Let's go over this one more time.

Starbuck: If something breaks?

Sally: We try to fix it before Sys-Zero gets home.

Starbuck: If it doesn't work?

Dooder: We blame Ravyn, because it's her turn to be the disappointment.

Ravyn: Guys, what the hell?

River: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.

Starbuck, Sally, and Dooder: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

Starbuck, aggressively throwing water bottles: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE! 

Ravyn: Uh... what's up with him?

Dooder: Helia told him she thinks mental health initiatives need to be stronger, so he's trying to instill mental health and wellbeing into us, physical trainer-style.

Starbuck, flexing: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!

Sally: It's kinda working.

Ravyn: Why do you look like that?

Starbuck, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?

Ravyn: Like you’re dying.

Starbuck: It’s because I am dying. Leave me here to perish.

Dooder: He accidentally called Sys-Zero “dad” in front of everyone today.

Dooder, at the Mysterious Emporium: Man, if a medium can talk to ghosts, just imagine what a large could do!

Sally: we should do a girls' night!

Ravyn: I'm nonbinary.

Sally: anti-boys night?

Sys-Zero: Can I ask you for a favor?

Starbuck: Captain, I would literally die for you, but continue.

Sys-Zero: We need to talk about you starting sentences that way.

River: Sally said I was her second favorite person, and I was bummed, but then she said Dooder is third. She has no favorite person. She's holding the position open.

Sally: You know how some people consider “may you have an interesting life” to be a curse?

River: Yes…?

Sally: Fuck those people. Wanna have an adventure?

River: I think I need a hug...

Dooder: Good thing I'm hug shaped!

*45 minutes later*

River: You... you can let go now.

Dooder: No, I absolutely cannot.

Ravyn: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?!

Dooder: It's kind of complicated, but Starbuck-

Ravyn: Got it. Forget I asked.

Sys-Zero: We need to distract Ravyn and Helia so we can set up this surprise party.

River: Leave it to me.

River: Centaurs- what's the internal organ situation like? Two spines or one? Discuss.

Helia and Ravyn: *immediately begin arguing*

Starbuck: Aw, all the snacks are gone.

Sally: I'm literally right here.

Starbuck, just before exams: May luck (and this picture of Dooder eating shredded cheese at 3 in the morning) be with you.

Sally: This can’t get any worse. Can it?

Starbuck: Sure it can - just give me a minute.

Ravyn: Okay, what was the distance between those two buildings?

Dooder: 263 cheetos.

Ravyn: Why... are you measuring for our M.A.T.H. assignment in cheetos?

Dooder: Because I'm out of doritos.

Dooder: Ravyn, my back hurts but I don't want to take ibuprofen.

Ravyn, not looking up from their paperwork: Okay, I'll take the spine out.

Starbuck: If I run and leap at Ravyn, they will most certainly catch me in their arms.

Starbuck, running towards Ravyn: Coming in!

Ravyn: No! I’m holding coffee!

Ravyn: *Drops coffee and catches Starbuck*

Starbuck, holding a box of Lunchables: Ah, I loved these when I was your age… fine dining.

Sally: Fix yourself.

Sys-Zero: Ravyn, gather the crew. We need to have another Sally-is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-her-before-she-hurts-someone convention.

Helia, to an annoying colleague: fight me!

Ravyn, standing behind her with a scalpel in hand, mouthing: do not.

Dooder: Wait, your mom's from Zargon? Do you have a superpower?

Sally: Yep! It’s hindsight.

Dooder: …That’s not really a superpower.

Sally: Yes, I see that now.

Starbuck: Captain, I'm really sorry. I failed my starship safety training course today.

Sys-Zero: How? Starbuck, what happened?

Starbuck: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire in the bridge, what steps would you take?"

Sys-Zero: And?

Starbuck: Well apparently "REALLY BIG ONES" isn't an acceptable answer.

Ravyn: As a responsible adult-

Helia: *chuckles*

Ravyn: … As a responsible adult-

River: Dooder, you need to stop doing weird things to cope with the stress. Going outside might help.

Dooder: I went to the park today.

River: There you go! I hope you got something from that.

Dooder: *opening his coat* This duck.

[martyreasemymind]

I Would Swallow the Sun?

(oh god dishy i'm so sorry i didn't tag you, i swear i have almost no concept of who writes and who doesn't. i just went back and fixed it)

oof. okay.

this one along with 4, 6, and 8 on the list are all the same story from the perspectives of each of Ragnar Lothbrok's sons with Aslaug from the History channel show Vikings. The main story is a modern au, in where the brothers discover a secret about their family which explains the behavior of the 'lost' borther Hvitserk, who at the beginning of the story is a homeless heroin addict.

I Would Swallow the Sun is from the perspective of Ubbe, the eldest son of Aslaug and the second eldest son of Ragnar. He is the first to 'hear' about the secret in his work as a lawyer, and immediately tries to get close to Hvitserk again and try to help him/uncover more.

Ubbe and Hvitserk were once the closest out of all the brothers, being the two oldest, but have been driven apart by Hvitserk's behavior and addictions over time, which have exacerbated an already dysfunctional family dynamic. By the time they reconnect they haven't spoken in years.

Excerpt:

He’s spent whole days of his life rewinding and squinting at the lines, trying to tell miscommunication from malice, trying to figure where he could have done better. It doesn’t make it easier, nothing does. Nothing can send him back in time, infinitely wiser and no longer a child in damnable circumstances. And it’s everyone else’s sad story already.

What’s another abandoned son.

Sometimes he’ll catch a glimpse of children playing in the grocery store, the bank, that pathetic excuse for a park outside the train station. The chirps of their laughter, tiny and precious curled around the shell of his ear. He smiles at them.

Remember?

Little feet paddling on the water’s surface, so far from home. They take turns spitting watermelon seeds at each other.

The face in the floorboards. Flipping and growing smaller and smaller as his father heaves him over his shoulder. Alive and singing in his chest and then not there at all. The fickle love of a brute.

Stop ignoring me!

Sometimes he would go to the lake early in the morning, before his mother and brothers had woken up, and silently float under the dawn sky. He would close his eyes and pretend that with each heartbeat the water would heal him, turn him younger and younger, until he was small enough to still have his father’s love. To bring him back from whatever darkness had ripped him away and kept him tucked in its belly.

-

(also tagging @fizzigigsimmer b/c they also wanted to hear about this story, and i'll write another post about it after this one)

[katielovably]

Time passed and soon they were eating, with the littes eating at the coffee table using pillows as chairs watching kid's shows (little Matt put on) as the originals sat around the kitchen, telling stories.

It was a while since they had that time (didn't help Tord had the dumb mission).

Oh, right. Tord! TJ running up holding a notebook.

What's that? Tord said... before looking to where TJ was then we're he was peeking from around the the corner.

What did you...

DO NOT TOUCH! Was written on the front.

TJ. Tord sighed.

He saw Red leader in it as he flipped threw it... he was holding Red leader's plan book.

TJ was right to be mad at the guy.

He's whole plan was there (written in Norwegian) ... Tord froze at the hand drawn picture of Tom's monster form before... him with TJ crying in his arms... then a gruesome end detailed death scene under it.

TJ gave a whimper hiding more making Tord look up.

This won't happen, TJ. Tord said softly on Norwegian.

I... I know. But it could have. TJ said softly as TJ's voice said softly "it could be a trap."

It was... that's why that ass was wanting Tord and TJ found but they were unsmarted.

TJ, your going to get us kill for taking this. Tord said.

I... I know. He said softly

Besides he's here. We're fine. Making it obvious who he was talking about. Tom's eyes flickered purple at Tord before smacking Tord.

Ow, I deserve that. Tord said as TJ revealed more written pages... a plan B if plan A didn't work (which it didn't obviously). The end goal was to get rid of Tord so "red leader" could take his place.

How gullible does he think my friends are? Tord snickered... TJ revealed the answer.

Oh the next page.

Oh. Tord said softly

We know now right. Tord said Edd slipped it away and flipped threw it.

Why does it have to be in Norwegian... at least there's pictures. Edd said.

Your reading... looking at a madman's world domination plans. Tord said taking the book back but Edd pulled it back seeing the pattern. Not only were the zombies made to make the "red army" (of course it's called that) look like heroes... being in the Army Tord would of course come back one way or another to aid them... what wasn't part of the plan was TJ. TJ knowing things, recognizing the Red leader and knowing he's up to something. TJ guiding him to the plane. Hence the plan changed, you can tell by the change in ink, frantic writing ... it was no longer nice and organized... which was bad for TJ because Red leader wanted him dead or on his side, brain washed and longer TJ. Tord is never leaving him alone again. Maybe TJ sensed he was safer with Tord hence why TJ fallowed him after he was told to stay in the vehicle... TJ also helped Tord in a way.

Looking at TJ with the Littles peeking around him Tord was looking at into the past. TJ was is him when he first met Edd... maybe more reserved but that was true now, why TJ fought against Tord all these years about being reunited with his friends. Now he sees why he fits so well with them... well, little Tom might say otherwise but he needed TJ to bunt heads with hence why he wants to fight with him or mess with TJ.

Oof! Little Tom hitting the floor after looking down from on top of the kitchen entrance.

What are you... how did you get up? TJ said as Little Tom picked himself up.

Tom's pain is the best. Little Matt whisper to little Matt. Little Tom said looking if he hurt himself. TJ held out his hand.

What do you want, Commie? Little Tom said standing himself up getting his Tommie Bear.

It's called being nice, trash goblin. TJ said.

I'm not a trash goblin. Little Tom said 4pinning

Your right, vaskebjørn. TJ said.

Why is he a raccoon and trash goblin? Tord said in Norwegian.

He was found in a dumpster. TJ said.

I'm going to kill you. Little Tom hissed.

Likewise. You bullied them because I wasn't around. TJ snapped giving a growl (sounding like a purse dog) the two got in the others face

Should we step in? Little Matt wispered to Little Edd

I think we just need to let them fight it out like that one time when Tom first got really drunk. Little Edd said.

That was fun and I hated it! (Pretty sure those mean the same thing) TJ said before getting punched.

Ok, That's it! You want to fight fine go ahead ... in the back yard because Edd doesn't like fighting in the house.Tord and Tom! TJ said dragging little Tom outside.

Be careful out there, it's night time! Little Edd called.

We should probably go supervise. This is annoying. Little Matt said.

Your so annoying! Little Edd said paddling To the sliding door.

Hey, that's rude! Little Matt said following him into the night. Little Edd coming back for a torch showing before going back out.

Sad that TJ remembered my rule about fighting... after they faught in the house but. Edd said.

I think I just zoned outs going on! Matt said

TJ and Little Tom are fighting outside... wait, isn't that a bad thing according to this? Edd said.

SHIT! Tord said running out and bringing them inside (they were yelling at the other). With little Edd and Matt fallowing behind like ducklings.

Pausing and setting little Tom in his chair confusing him.

Why am I here? He said.

It shut you up! TJ called over Tord's shoulder!

Cut it out. Tord said.

He started it! TJ said before getting set on the couch.

Poke. little Matt say as he poked TJ's check.

Watch the telly, Matt. TJ said.

Ok. Little Matt said as Tord appeared.

Go play. Tord said.

No! Little Tom said folding his arms.

What is your problem? Little Matt sighed coming and gabbing little Tom and dragged him off and into the living room.

Wait, Tommie bear! Little Tom said.

Yeah, yeah. I got him. TJ said grabbing the bear.

Your such a baby. TJ said disappearing into the living room before sitting on Tord's lap.

Why did you stop us? TJ said.

You gave the reason, theirs a crazy clone of me who wants us dead! Tord said.

I've been telling you that but you didn't believe me! He nearly got Edd killed... I mean you were the cause of it. I told you he's evil! TJ said folding his arms.

TJ. Edd said as Tord looked at the book.

I think him become Tord is set in stone. Tord said.

Edd looked at the living room then Tord.

It's ok if you leave. He said with a saddened smile.

But... my friends! You said you would help to turn us back! I want to be normal again! TJ said (Norwegian) waving his arms, Tord stroked TJ's hair

Stop speaking Norwegian, commie! Little Tom said looking over the couch at them getting raspberries blown at him before going to the room to pount.

But what about you? Tord said.

We got can take care of ourselves. We got Tom. Edd said.

Gee, thanks. Tom said as he stretched before standing, he had a couple beers while gaming and another at supper... scratch that he got another. Oh, Tom.

I'm more concerned about them if anything because unlike you we don't have space and rent is pretty high to pay as it is. Yes, they're us but we do want to help. Edd said

TJ was right about them being only three. It's not like they can just crash here then be on they're way. Matt said.

Uck, what a mess. Tord said holding his head.

Hours later, Tord and TJ were driving home. Both quiet. Tord felt like a coward as he drove out of London.

His wife watched him pull up hugging TJ and him.

I'm relieved you ok. She said, leading them inside. They went to bed soon after.

Part 11 of ???

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

Okay okay, for the ask game, what about 1 and 14 for Emmet and Laventon? Assuming this is an au like oop (or actually oop) where Emmet ends up in Hisui somehow

(character dynamics ask game) ooooh ok!! these two are fun bc they don't get chances to interact... much really at all, in most of my things. like even in oop they juuust missed each other rip. so this is a fun underexplored duo

1. what were A’s first impressions of B? were they mostly correct or have they changed?

i feel like emmet would not be quite as immediately fond of lav as ingo is. not that he dislikes him, just, it takes emmet a little bit longer than that to really decide he likes a person, most of the time. he wants to know that whatever initial impression a person is giving him isn't just empty words! tho i think one thing that would make him more immediately friendly is like, if this is oop-adjacent, hearing ingo talk abt him beforehand/knowing ingo likes him. bc then he does actually know that lav is sincere in his dedication to pokemon and the 'dex and etc. which makes him like him more out of the gate. in general tho i think emmet's like, bad at making very nuanced opinions of ppl, so his first impression is probably not going to go much farther than "seems cool"

on laventon's side otoh. hmm. i think lav is sort of an easily intimidated person and- as we have previously covered- emmet has this sort of absolute confidence and surety and commitment to his own principles that can be pretty intimidating. so lav's initial impression of him is probably along the lines of "this is a person who could and would wreck my shit without needing to lift a finger if he wanted to, and i should be careful abt that." and then he gets to know him better and realizes that most of said principles are along the lines of protecting people and making sure things run smoothly, which takes the edge off a good amount. yes he probably still COULD destroy him, but he probably won't.

14. for two characters that met very recently, how would their dynamic be different (if at all) if they had known each other for much longer? for characters that are childhood/longtime acquaintances, how would it be different if they met for the first time today?

OOF yall keep throwing such fun fic pitches at me. my immediate instinct was to connect this to the other one w/ cyllene, and say that emmet met lav at the same time she did, but that runs into the same problem as cyllene+kamado where i still wouldn't consider that exactly knowing each other a long time. yknow. i realize this is not exactly the point of the question but now i'm just thinking about scenarios... au where they went to school together... anyway tho. hmm. well i think lav would. as above, not be nearly as intimidated by emmet w/ furthered context, but would also probably be much more familiar with his penchant for Committing To A Thing that is inadvisable according to basically everyone else. lav finds out about alphas and is like (thinking) oh god fuck he's going to go hunt down the strongest one he can find just to catch it isn't he.

this also goes into the question of what these two were like when they were younger. esp. laventon, who i don't think i've thought/talked much abt his early life much at all. i mean he's clearly well educated and probably from a well-off family, and i said "went to school together" earlier bc i sort of picture him as having gone to some kind of boarding school situation, but it's also possible that he was taught privately at home. either way i think he didn't have a ton of practical survival experience before hisui. maybe he was even more deeply absorbed in books when he was younger, hardly even considering the practical side of research. so in that case i think emmet would probably be sort of a balance to him. not that emmet HATES reading or anything but he's also very much like. if he has a question abt a pokemon and can't immediately find the answer in a book he's just gonna go check for himself. so they would probably make a pretty good research duo each trying to pull the other in their direction.

it's also very fun for me to imagine them being collaborators, though. it's not exactly canon supported but i still like to think lav invented pokeballs so they could have worked together on that... emmet being the only one who can properly field test their invention bc he can actually hit a target throwing things lmao

[tea-cat-arts]

Where would you rank every battlesuit of kiana,mei and bronya in terms of design?

Seen your recent post and thought of saying this

(That’s a lot of designs, so I’m not gonna do in depth commentary on each individual design here. If you have questions on certain ones rankings, I can elaborate elsewhere. Also, every design within the same tier is the same level of good. I’m not trying to say one design is better than the other if it’s placed higher up on the S tier segment than other)

Disclaimer: I’m trying my best to be objective here, but this is art so personal biases will come into play. I’m not trying to force anyone else’s opinion on this matter, just sharing my thoughts

S (fantastic, wouldn’t change a thing)-

Void drifter (combines elements of both her mother figures with Elements of HoV while still keeping signature elements of Kiana’s designs)

HoV (truly looks like a pissed off goddess ready to kick ass. Set the standard for Herrscher designs)

HoF (already explained this one elsewhere)

HoT (ok, we all already know this design is amazing. I don’t feel the need to explain this one)

Orochi Cuirass (takes the silhouette of Danzai Spectramancer, and refines/streamlines it. The different textures on the blacks help them stay separated. Little splashes of gold keep this design from feeling to flat)

Haxxor Bunny (Bronie was out here doing the cyberpunk edge runners look before edge runners was even a thing. The dot texture makes her feel like she walked straight out of a comic book)

HoR (she looks like the tech queen she is. All the frills help give her a much bigger/grander appearance)

A (good design, could be great with minor changes)

Valkyrie Ranger (very solid starting out design, very little lore relevance)

Prodigal Girl (takes what works with White Comet and makes it scrappier. Feels very true to Kiana’s personality)

Striker Fulminata (if they made the shirt a little longer or given her shorts or tights, I think this would’ve been an excellent starter design for Mei. Looks soft and comfy while still being combat ready)

Drive Kometa (takes the mech elements of Yamabuki armor, puts them into Bronya’s usual silhouette, and puts her in a much more complimentary color)

Silverwing N-EX (Bronya’s literally just living her best life here and I love that for her. Brings her into the APHO aesthetic while keeping bits and pieces of her mech and Angel aesthetics)

B (overall good, but has one minor thing that just isn’t working)

White Comet (solid starting out design, looks kinda like a wet suit ngl)

Knight Moonbeam (looks like a refined version of divine prayer. Feels almost like the type of Valkyrie Kiana was trying to be at the beginning of the story. Personally would’ve liked more color though)

Wolf’s Dawn (solid starter design. I miss the mech legs)

Snowy Sniper (wouldn’t be my first choice in snow gear, but it’s alright. Wish they gave her a bulkier jacket and scarf)

HoTr (oof I want to rank this higher since it’s an excellent evolution of HoR, but it just doesn’t work as part of the trio. Lacks Mei’s purple and Kiana’s orange)

Dimension Breaker (looks more like a snowy sniper skin than a whole new design.

C (overall good, but has one major thing that just isn’t working)

Red Lictor/Radiant Blaze (Void drifter but with more white and only 3 colors. Very flat tone wise)

Crimson Impulse (the first and thankfully last time we see Mei in pink. They added armor in places it just shouldn’t be and it ends up making the design look clunky. Revealing outfit is weird given Mei’s more modest personality at this point in the story)

Danzai Spectranancer (combat jorts. It’s just a lot of overlapping patterns in textures without really intention behind them)

Valkyrie Bladestrike (same color palette problem as Shadow Dash. There’s a lot of unnecessary gaps in the clothes, and the stiff, revealing design doesn’t make sense for her personality)

Valkyrie Chariot (would be ranked higher if it wasn’t for the panty shots. That’s literally my only gripe with this design. Just put her in tights)

Black Nucleus (man, early Honkai really was determined to show us as much Bronya ass as physical possible. I think they should’ve gone with a color other than red)

D (ya, this just isn’t working)

HoFi (already explained this one elsewhere)

Divine Prayer (why nun? Flat tone wise. Never seen a nun outfit turned into shorts before and after this, I never want to again)

Lightning Empress (Mihoyo, get out of here with the revealing school uniforms. Isn’t this supposed to be her Herrscher persona??? She’s not threatening in the slightest)

Shadow Dash (it’s just too much stuff. Having Mei in so much red and black so early in the story muddies the thematic intentions with HoT’s color palette)

Yamabuki Armor (get that 16 y/o’s ass off my screen Mihoyo. Unnecessarily revealing and yellow just isn’t a good main color on Bronya)

F (this is just blatantly a bad design)

HoO (explained this one elsewhere)

Overall thoughts: other than how weirdly sexualized Bronya was early on, I think she’s the most consistent in terms of having good designs, and Kiana is just overall very solid. I feel like the writers just didn’t know what to do with Mei early on, and that ended up getting reflected in her designs, but once they hit their stride they took off sprinting and fell flat on their faces in the end with HoO

[nerdyenby]

Yellow time :D I’m watching Oli

Depression starting to set in but NOT IF ITS OLI TIME

This team is so powerful it’s not even funny

“You like my fit baby girl?” wow the way Oli can say that without me wincing in sheer discomfort is so impressive actually

Oh god Oli’s desktop ;-;

They’re energy is so good!!

“AAAAA!!! ITS ETHO!!!!!” Is that Shadoune??😂😂😂

Pirates smp is also my favorite anime, so true

Rocket Spleef

“No pressure guys because it’s first game” “But also we want to win, we wanna win, right?” The vibes here are great

Yo they’re popping off!!!

First place!!! Thems my bois!!!!

Them predicting yellow vs red finale after the first game 👀

Hole in the Wall

Oli the adhd king, we stan

Jordan top five!!!!

Jordan is just so silly /pos

OLI ORIONSOUND

He got out because he was picking music, that’s my streamer

Fruit point out the “it’s not blue it’s left” is so real 😂

Shadoune doubting his sot ability and Oli saying no <3

Scuffed was so fun

“That’s the Spanish guy :(“ Shadoune threatening Ollie in spanish is so… /pos

Skybattle

Everyone offering Fruit stuff and him just being “eh, I’m good” we aspire for that level of simultaneous confidence and humility

That mosh pit is wild

Shadoune’s laugh at Ollie falling out of the world, their rivalry is everything to me, actually

Noooo oli 😭😭😭

FRUIT MVP!!!!!

Everyone just being awed at Fruit popping off is so <333

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDD TGAT ENDING!!!!!

Shadoune 4th!!!!!!

My streamers say to ask for forgiveness not permission pogchamp

Meltdown

Oli igl arc <3

That was a bit rough

Meltdown is so punishing it’s just miserable for the bottom few teams every time :/

Oof

But hey, consistency!!!! Oli got 32nd, 32nd, and 31st

“Yeah, we love the close final so we can stress more” so true Shadoune, based

Grid runners is a solid middle of the pack game, Fruit is so real

Oli wanting a parkour tag finale sure is a take but go off king

Jordan’s rant about MCC tridents is so /pos

Battle Box

“Just in time to win!!” Love Shadoune’s energy

I totally thought Oli was gonna die there lol

Shadoune’s kill on Krinios was so good, came down to the last hit, such a good first round

Shadoune popping off!!!!

Oh my gosh they’re doing so great!!!

8.5/9 HOLYYYYY

Fruit 15 kills no deaths??????

Jordan 0 kills 0 deaths is so impressive actually, what the heck

Ace Race

Eurobeat Revenge by Captain Sparklez 😂😂😂

Fruit having Ant’s run on his second monitor is so funny you guys

Oli doesn’t know the lyrics?? Smh my head…

Oli and Fruit holding hands in top ten my beloved

Fruit, Oli, and Shadoune 5th, 6th, and 7th??????? Absolute kings!!!!

Calling Punz a “B-tier little baby boy” 😂😂😂😂

Aw rip, dropping from tenth to fifteenth at the very end was so rough :/

ALL TOP 15 HOLYYYYYYYYY!!! THOSE ARE MY BOYS

Imagine if they didn’t get last in meltdown, they would’ve been too powerful

Grid Runners

Their team really doesn’t have much of a hierarchy, I love them

That pyramid <333

“Come on girlies, let’s go” - Oli Orionsound to his fellow cishet men, iconic

Oh no the redstone room 😭😭😭

2ND!!!!!!

“We could always throw in dodgebolt” 😐

Fruit closing in on the 4K individual????? It’s possible!!!!!!

Jordan’s deadpan “Do you guys genuinely want parkour tag?” killed me, he’s so based for that

Sands of Time

“I don’t know my wests and rights” 😂😂😂

Oli not reacting at all to the new sound is so iconic, actually

“I might ask you to come back, Fruit, and you shall obey” “But I don’t want to” it’s the audible frowns face for me lol

That was scary for a second there, oh my gosh

The boys are in dodgebolt!!!!

Dodgebolt

Jordan calling Shadoune Capitan Peru :))

Fruit’s “Oh my god, Oli, you are so funny” after his dodge 😂

Fruit just not getting to play, oh my gosh

Jordan expressing frustration of Fruit’s behalf, true friendship fr

Rip, gg!! Congrats to Gumi and Ponk for their first win!!!

And with that, Oli is officially no longer an anchor, he’s a B-tier at least

“Thanks for being so nice, I just need to have a moment real quick” *walks away and screams*

“Shadoune is so nice!! They’re all nice, but I’d never met Shadoune before, Shadoune’s the coolest” so true!!!!

Oli and Jojo <333

Good times, good vibes :))

[illbeyourmirrorball]

okay the exorcist tv review: should have had longer seasons (even just 13 eps instead of 10) or majorly cut the B-plots (that always had much higher stakes than the main plot, but not enough screen time to actually reflect that) to better serve the story. That said the whole marcus tomas dynamic is insaaaaaaane making! And even with mouse showing up at the end like their little threesome exorcism moment oof. Mouse and tomas driving away together like the weirdest eskimo siblings you could imagine. then with marcus running off to the marina for a second i thought there might be a whole vacation with peter about to happen but noooo it was god talking to marcus until he just moaned tomas’s name and then roll credits. That’s how it ends, cancelled on the whimpers of an excommunicated priest…

[knowltonsrangers]

commemorate

Nathan Hale x reader

[a/n: yk what??? I got a good grade on my midterm and I feel like Nathan would be the first to celebrate a good grade :) yale boy.]

Your heart thrums, beating loud enough for the sound to well in your ears. It’s a mixture of anxiety and eagerness, willing the screen to load so you could finally see the numbers that have had you in a chokehold.

Nathan, behind you, has his hands clamped tightly on the back of the chair, leaning forward enough that if he tipped any further, his chin would be on your shoulder.

“The anticipation is killing me, y/n, I can only imagine how you must feel,”

He whispers, even though there’s not another soul to hear him. You nod, gnawing at your bottom lip as you click refresh once more.

“If I get higher than a B, it should bring my grade back up, I can recover.”

It’s truly a sight, the way his arms come to round your shoulders as the page slowly begins to load.

“You got this, I know you do. I am here for you either way, you can most definitely recover from anything.”

Nathan Hale is the most supportive being alive— he has his own studies to worry about, yet he still is here, encouraging you and cheering you onward.

Your class icon appears, and you click on ‘my grades’, turning slightly to drop a kiss on the blondes cheek.

“Thanks, Nate. I appreciate you.”

His smile makes your stomach all warm and fuzzy, blue eyes bright as you both turn to face the screen together.

“Oh—! Oh!”

Nathan yelps, you both shouting at the same time a shared profanity as the midterm grade appears.

“You smarty-pants! You did it!”

He says, no longer caring who heard his words. A unstoppable smile breaks out onto your face, and you can’t help the joy that swells in your chest.

“That has to be wrong! No way did I get that high—oof!”

Nathan has run at you, scooping you into a hug that makes your feet leave the ground. He spins you around, congratulating you over and over with the proudest smile on his face.

“I knew you could do it,”

He insists, setting you down and enveloping you into a hug that sends you to Mars. Hugging him back as tightly as you can, you can’t help yourself, you can’t begin to fathom this feeling of accomplishment.

“Couldn’t have done it without you, Yale-Boy.”

He pulls away, just enough, to brush his nose across yours.

“All you, my y/n. All you. Have I mentioned I am your biggest fan?”

Your cheeks flush, and you reach up to tuck a lock of hair back behind his ear.

“Funny, ‘cause I’m yours.”

If you could stare at that smile for eternity, then you wouldn’t need a single thing more.

“I love you,”

You breathe, forehead coming to his chest as you relax, anxiety retreating as the excitement settles.

“I love you more.”

He kisses the top of your head, eyes floating to the screen once more. Smiling to no one but himself, he couldn’t help the absolute joy that filled his heart at seeing you so happy.

So that is what true love feels like, he’s decided.

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

Oooh how about top 5 favorite OP ships and characters? And Top 5 songs you've listened to this year?

(put “top 5” anything in my ask and i will answer)

top ships… well, number one should be pretty obvious.

shuggy - if i need to explain why, you have not spent much time on this blog, lol.

sanuso - you can blame beanie for this one, i vaguely thought they were cute before i followed her & ✨saw the light✨

zotash - tbh i'm not sure whether i still ship these two romantically, but i am always gonna be obsessed with their dynamic and hungry for more scenes between them, so they belong on the list.

frobin - yeah, it’s kinda basic, but imo that’s because it’s kinda obvious? that train ride to enies lobby, man—i’m still not over it. plus, the addams family vibes fanon entertains me.

hm. i feel like i’m forgetting a pair i’m really into. i like namivivi, i’m intrigued by crochawk, but neither one has a real tight grip on me atm. well, i can’t think of another ship, so i guess those two can share fifth place.

favorite characters! i’ve done a top 3 before, but top 5 gets a little trickier.

buggy

usopp

tashigi

luffy

ace

a couple strawhats should be ranked above ace if i’m being honest, but my marineford re-reads have had me getting weepy over ace, so he’s getting a tenderheart boost.

as far as songs go… i don’t use a service like spotify that monitors my most listened tracks or anything, so this is just broad guessing on my part.

something by mitski. i suspect if i could get the data for a top ten, she’d make up half of it—and only partly because i kept listening to her songs while trying to figure out which lyrics to use for my fics. “i’m your man” has the lyrics i think about the most, but “your best american girl” has been on my mind lately for… obvious reasons. (lmao, just remembered while pulling that link up that my reasons for lingering on “i’m your man” are similarly obvious.)

something by jack de quidt. the soundtracks they’ve composed for friends at the table’s various campaigns, one-shot games, and friends-of-the-show’s podcasts’ theme songs are all very good instrumental listening. the marielda album is a long-time favorite, while sangfielle and palisade are two recent albums of very different kinds of eerie music.

something off M A N I A. that album’s been my most played every year since it came out in 2017, oof, every song is at least danceable if not a bop. i’ve wanted a deadpool vid set to “wilson (expensive mistakes)” for so long, and a castiel vid set to “sunshine riptide” for longer.

something by abba. not sure what got me back on the abba train—the one song episode about gimme gimme gimme? the let’s learn everything episode about eurovision? generalized mamma mia nostalgia? whatever it was, i’ve been relistening to their music a lot this year. love a pop band with good harmonies.

”speeding cars” by imogen heap. she played this song during her npr tiny desk concert in 2019 and it absolutely made my week. no idea how i found this 2006 b-side, let alone listened to it so much that it produced that kind of reaction a decade later, but there you have it.

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

So: three sonatas, three partitas. There's debate (of course) as to whether each set should be played together in order or treated as stand-alones. Kim has devised his own Machete Order for the sonatas/partitas (except he did keep all six, lol... bad analogy maybe) that moves through the keys of the different sonatas/partitas in a harmonious manner and gives you a bit of a dramatic arc over the course of each concert. So Friday night was Partita No. 3 in E Major, Sonata No. 2 in A minor, and Partita No. 2 in D minor; Sunday afternoon was Violin Sonata No. 1 in G minor, Violin Partita No. 1 in B minor, and Violin Sonata No. 3 in C Major.

Artistically, that's intriguing, although my instinct would have been to close the entire series with the D minor, because it's a piece that is a universe unto itself and has so much significance (read: baggage) attached to it. Kim explained to the audience on Sunday that while gratitude underlies all of Bach's works, the C Major Sonata is the solo piece that best embodies it, and he wanted to end on that note for the series. Which... okay, I can see that. But my Goth ass be like, what if you swapped the order of the days, doing G minor/B minor/C Major on day one and E Major/A minor/D minor on day two? You then open and close the entire series with these very interior, contemplative pieces and have the gratitude and ebullience as the bridge between the two days.

Logistically, I said "oof" when I saw the first night's lineup. The E major partita is six movements long even if they are on the shorter side; the A minor sonata's movements are longer than average; and then you're ending on the extremely famous and very long Partita in D minor. I feel like I could hear the effort of the evening creep into his playing by the time we hit the D minor and especially the Chaconne. It seems like it may have cost us some nuance in the last piece. I don't know that there's a better way to play through it if you're not going in catalog order, though. This is just going to test your endurance no matter what.

Is this a good idea, or is this just completely bonkers? Is this a feat that other violinists should try to replicate? I'm really torn. This was a fascinating experience; I don't know when or if anyone else is going to sign up to put themselves through the wringer like that. Although now I inevitably wonder if there's any Baroque violinists crazy enough to step up to the plate (probably not LOL).

Fuck it. I wasn't planning on taking this tangent now that I've trashed my essay but I guess we've arrived here anyway. Like, I wanted to believe that the neat thing about unearthing historical practices was that modern violinists could pick and choose various methods like a palette to paint their own particular vision of a piece. What I am starting to realize is that... maybe I don't like this idea as much anymore. What does it mean to play without a shoulder rest, to minimize and narrow your vibrato, and to bow with a breathy, detaché vibe on a loud-ass modern instrument with modern strings and a modern bow? What is that accomplishing, if historicity doesn't also guide you on a much deeper level?

I'm so fascinated by this review in the Times Argus of Kim's concerts–we both agree that he absolutely killed it on the Largo and Adagio movements with his evocative, singing style, and I think his tempo choices including for the fast movements were just right, no beef there. But the singing style is not quite what I was looking for in the partitas–and hell, if you're going to interleave the sonatas with the partitas then it's a bit weird to not be a little more dance-like and bassline-forward with those too, right? There's no objectively correct answer on how to handle the chords in the Fuga movements of those sonatas but I felt like he didn't make a strong case for his approach in the C major sonata in particular. I think he was going for more melody-forward but didn't quite nail it.

This is way more succinct than the fucking essay I wrote, LOL. I might just trash the longer entry I had going for this. ETA: ah crap, I forgot I do wanna talk about his Machete Order for the sonatas/partitas but I'll do that later.

[pelagaios-a]

meta on tartarus?

I’m back on my meta bullshit  ╱  accepting.tbh ty for sending this cause this is one of the meta’s I lost in my draft disaster…

aigh’t first “what is Tartarus” because I know some people don’t know:

Tartarus is both a place and a being  —  similar to Hades, whose realm is named after the god  —  and Tartarus himself is the birthplace of monsters.  it is where, when they die, monsters go to be reformed before making their way back to the mortal realm.  Tartarus is the place where the giants and titans were chained after their defeat, it is the darkest pit of the underworld.  Tartarus himself is a primordial, son of Chaos and father of all things horrible.  in pjo, Tartarus the location is also Tartarus’ the primordials body.  the rivers of the underworld  (  Styx, Lethe, Acheron, Phlegethon  &&  Cocytus  )  are all but blood vessels flowing from the primordials heart.  when you think of Tartarus, you need to think of the deepest pits of hell  &&  then raise them to a ridiculous exponential.  there is, in Greek mythology, no place worse.  it is death before death even had a name.

lots of stuff happens to Percy in Tartarus,  &&  none of it is good.  I mean none of it.  everything in Tartarus is death to any mortal  (  hell, even some gods  )  &&  it shows.  the air is toxic, the ground is broken glass,  &&  the place not only plays with you physically  (  there is no food or water, they drank the fires of the Phlegethon to survive  )  but mentally.  Percy not only is a well-known demigod  —  a prize  —  but also one many seek revenge on.  the place plays with your worst fears  (  Percy says it reminds him of Smelly Gabe, which says a lot about Percy’s first stepfather  )  &&  then some.  Nico makes it out barely intact, having been locked away in a pot,  &&  Annabeth isn’t at the level of raw power Percy  &&  Nico are  —  she does not see as much as they do through the Mist down there.

Percy snaps.  something fundamentally him breaks down there  &&  it’s not something that can be fixed.  he describes it as shattered glass.  the pieces of him he worked so hard to hold on to aren’t an option down there,  &&  Percy gives up portions of who he is to survive  (  for Annabeth to survive  ).  I know I bring this up on  &&  off on other posts but the Percy that comes out of Tartarus is a lot closer to the Percy he’s kept locked away, the one that feeds off his anger  &&  resentment  &&  wants other’s to hurt.  the place essentially destroys him  &&  fills in the gaps left behind with Tartarus itself.  it’s legitimately a stain on his essence.

just a…  short list of things that happen, so I can give an idea:

they describe the place like a nuclear blast zone.  it reeks of sulfur.  everything about it is toxic  &&  designed to kill them.

Percy’s instincts are on hyperdrive.  Tartarus is already starting to creep it’s way in  &&  remove barriers he’s fought hard to keep.  when he kills Arachne  (  yes, he kills her like it was easy  )  he wishes he could have hurt her more.

Bob calls them “the defeated ones”  —  the one’s Percy  &&  co. have defeated that seek their revenge, that are hunting them through Tartarus.

the bits of Percy that were careful are no longer careful  —  he terrifies Annabeth with his own manipulative behavior in order to make Bob help them through Tartarus  (  which, if you know the side story of what happened with Percy  &&  Bob oof  ).

the arai.  the literal physical embodiment of a curse.  for every one he kills, Percy takes on a curse someone wished on him.  do you know how many people  &&  monsters Percy has killed  ??  do you know how many people resent him  ??  the answer is a lot  &&  it would have killed him.  I could talk about this one scene for days due to the depth it shows us; most importantly the last one he takes on is to slowly dissolve to death.  he got to painfully feel himself dying in brutal clarity.  he’s 17.

I’m just gonna throw in Percy did see Tartarus, as it is, almost entirely.  which is what almost drove Nico to madness.

the whole Akhlys thing.  I know I mention it on  &&  off but Percy tortured her.  he wanted her to feel his misery.  there’s a piece, here, where Percy can never truly go back.  he’d made his choice  &&  a step in an irredeemable direction  —  this is also the moment we see Percy bloodbend.

the Acheron…  says stuff to them.  calls him a murderer  &&  a monster.  the fact he still has the strength to keep going post the Cocytus which started their journey feasting upon their doubts.  Percy has officially controlled every river in Tartarus.

all of this, of course, ignoring when he finally did reach the doors of death  &&  did face Tartarus himself  &&  did accept his death.  he survived two wars  &&  countless horrors but Tartarus will forever be the part that sticks with him.  it’s the steady thrum of a heartbeat in his ear  &&  the fact he can’t trust what he sees.  Tartarus left such an impact  (  especially post everything he was lied to over in pjo  )  that haunts him.  it feeds off what you fear most, it feeds off the emotions that leave you most vulnerable.  Tartarus drove him into a corner where his anger  &&  resentment were the tools he needed  &&  it fostered them.  Percy has canon anger issues  !!  it’s stated he even used to go to anger management classes  —  Tartarus stripped down all the progress he had made  &&  set him back at square one.

post Tartarus Percy is prone to lashing out when he doesn’t mean to, when his emotions get the better of him.  while in a sense he is now more adept at using his gifts than before he’s also more dangerous with that skill.  post Tartarus Percy is closed off in ways he wasn’t before.  Tartarus turned him into the monster he tried so very hard not to be  &&  Percy grew much too tired to fight it.  sure he can keep up the facade but even canon asks us “for how long  ??”

then there are the nightmares.  as if he didn’t already not sleep  (  demigods like Percy aren’t allowed pleasant dreams, they’re either premonitions or nightmares  ).  if his waking moments are haunted by what he might do the snippets of sleep he gets are haunted by what he could do.  he doesn’t trust anything especially himself anymore.  we see how tired he is we see how closed off he is  &&  in true Percy fashion he works so very hard to make sure no one notices but even that doesn’t matter  —  he can’t hide it.  he scares people  (  he scares everyone, Annabeth won’t even talk to him  )  to the point he stops trying.

what was thrown into that pit was a bitter demigod with a bit of hope  &&  what came out was the angry thing the gods had been afraid of since the start.  no matter how good he is at a day to day mask it bleeds into his choices  &&  his actions.  he’s lost the filters  &&  barriers that made him who he was  &&  now he’s just desperately trying to play the part of survivor.  he doesn’t think he survived anything.  Tartarus destroyed him.