#this concept film is going to eat so hard

[yeonzzzn]

RAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHGGGGHHHH

this photo has been eating me alive ALL FUCKING DAY I CANT BREATHES HES SO HOT

[team-frightfur]

(Theyre also blushing but i cant figure out why). Both Kenzan and Johan are more focused on Judai tho, which could either be bc theyre both gay for him or cause this takes place post s4 (so theyre happy to see Jou enjoying life again after his depression). Then you have Fubuki and Asuka in the corner. Fubuki is doing his standout uncoordinated cloudcuckoolander bit by not wearing blue/black/white/yellow like everyone else (get with the program, man!) Instead he's going for that... christmas ensemble? With the rare red....tho now I see it, there's also judais pants and the coke bottles and the red cups and oh my god it was a red/blue/green/yellow colour scheme all along. ANYWAY, while Asuka is more serious with her modest clothing and walking boots, she has this small smile. Like, clearly she's not super duper ecstatic over his dumbass ukelele serenades, but she'll humour him today of all days, not just because it's a special day but because she looooves having her brother back.

Final verdict: this pic honestly just gets better the more you look at it. It makes me wish i had synesthesia just so I could taste the cozy hot chocolate vibes. Like its truly utterly immaculate. Kudos to you for all time!!!

[shirefantasies]

The Hobbit Characters + Pregnant Reader (Wife!Reader)

I just love fluff ok and, say it with me, I did this for LoTR 😁 (you can think of the older characters’ as being set when you guys are younger, not during book/film events 😊)

Warnings: conception mentions, some implications of infertility, pregnancy-related illness and symptoms, very long post 😂

Balin

✧ Five years. For five years you had tried. Six you and Balin had been married, happily as anything, but children never came. Your struggles had broken you down, leading you to try all the remedies well-meaning elders and healers alike recommended. Eat more good, strong foods, less of that greasy stuff. Drink this tea, it’s great for women! It’s only a bunch of tiny needles- the pain of birth will be worse anyway. Don’t be so active, let yourself relax for Mahal’s sake, girl! Remedy after remedy, you put your body through it all and put your hands up and prayed. Weeks passed and you had taken ill, attending the healers’ just to get something to ease your nausea, and that was when the questions began. Illness forgotten, you wandered in a grinning daze out of that hall and straight into your husband’s arms. When he chuckled and asked what this was all about, all you could do was snuggle into his chest deeper and whisper “It’s finally happened.”

✧ Such years leant of course to Balin being a bit extra protective of you. You often chastised him, good-naturedly of course, that he hovered so over you, and every time he would simply kiss you and say "That's right".

✧ It brought you both to tears when you began showing, when your condition had persisted long enough to be real, to last beyond the known months of danger. Forehead pressed against yours, your husband held you tightly and warmly for some amount of minutes you did not know, but minded not at all. Balin's words of love and reassurance were as music to your ears.

✧ Hormones confound you some days, pulling you from peace to ruin in mere moments, but Balin is always there with warm arms and wise words, reminding you that whatever you may think, you will never be alone.

✧ The one time during your entire pregnancy that you saw Balin cry was the day you brought home a tiny red coat that looked just like his and showed it to him with pride glowing in your eyes.

✧ He is so calm during all the worst sides of your condition, standing right by you through the good, the bad, and the ugly and dusting and cleaning you off each and every time. "We fought hard for this," he reminds you, "And I'll keep fighting with you every step of the way."

Dwalin

✧ You had wanted children all your life, certainly, and you'd seen Dwalin around them a few times, but what would he say? Your husband was a renowned warrior, hardened in the face of blood and steel and tolerant of no foolishness. But still he went soft as clay when his beloved wife fell into his arms. Thus that night you softened him up but good with all the great food and affection you could muster, so much that you had him remarking what a wonderful home he'd been blessed with. "And would you be willing to share it?" At that, your husband rose from his chair, hands tensing at his sides. "You don't mean-" "I do," you nodded. Without warning, you were swept up into Dwalin's arms, hoisted gently into the air with a giggle. "Just when I thought Mahal couldn't bless me any more! My beautiful wife, with child."

✧ Cue the two of you bickering back and forth like, well, a married couple, about who the child is going to look like. "I'll have 'em look just like you, thanks." "I for one relish in the thought of toting around a miniature Dwalin." "Come now," your husband teases back, running a hand over his shaven, tattooed head, "If they look like you they'll have better hair!"

✧ Dwalin has tiny wooden swords and axes made in time for your little arrivals, ensuring the axes match his to a tee.

✧ He sleeps flush against you now, head leaned against your growing belly and one hand firmly atop it like a lovely little line of defense.

✧ You have him absolutely wrapped around your finger, even more so now. Bat your eyelashes at him and make any request and he melts like butter. You’ll never want long for anything you crave!

✧ Admittedly he knows very little of a woman’s workings, but the moment he hears all your explanations he dubs you as great a warrior as he! “Beautiful as the stars and strong as the mountains to boot! That’s my girl.”

Thorin

✧ He has waited so long for this. So many years of this hanging pressure and yet when he has you by his side, all the feeling of necessity behind trying fades away. You two can simply enjoy life. So when you return to Thorin's side one day, eyes brimming with tears, all you say to him is "It's happened". And with that you see your king, your husband, collapse as if his whole body is sighing, pulling you into him like he needs you to breathe. One hand reaches up to hold the back of your head, gently caressing your hair.

✧ Vows every day that he will protect you both, be the father and husband you deserve, taking your hands in his and then leaning down to address both his queen and your child.

✧ Thorin also assures you that despite what any members of the court say, your new addition will be equally loved and equally worthy of the throne whether you welcome a son or a daughter. "All I wish is a healthy child with their mother's heart." "And their father's good looks," you tease in response, pulling your husband in for a kiss.

✧ You begin stealing his clothes, stating that his tunics are so much more comfortable than your dresses with an innocent bat of your eyelashes that has Thorin relenting every single time, heart rent at the way they begin fitting you tighter.

✧ You see a different side of Thorin in this stage of your marriage, one you’ll never complain about, not when he softens so, gazes down upon you with such love as he hovers over you, kissing your lips, your neck, your belly.

✧ There is no denying that you both glow during this time, pride and joy illuminating Thorin’s features right alongside the radiance of your childbearing state. Everyone stops you to say what a beautiful couple you are and you cannot help the flush of heat that rises to your face as Thorin thanks them and guides you away from the crowd, a protective hand on the small of your back

Oin

✧ Predicts it before you even realize because you’re exhibiting all the telltale symptoms; annoyed as you may be by his insistence that you are with child, what do you know? Oin is right. Oin is, unfortunately, also quite smug about this. Once the initial triumph wears off, though, he’s shouting for joy and crushing you with a hug!

✧ The absolute dream husband to have when you're with child, for he has worked taking care of countless dwarrowdams in your condition. He knows what you need. He understands. And most importantly, he does not judge.

✧ In fact, you two get a kick out of poking fun at the other husbands who roll their eyes at their wives' demands or take shots at their cravings because, frankly, that could never be you. "He doesn't know her body needs more iron!" "I bet he moans and groans about grabbing her a pillow, too."

✧ Having married such a well-known dwarrow, you’ll have all manner of strangers approaching you with congratulations that you reluctantly just accept, correctly assuming they’re patients of Oin’s that he’s proudly blabbed to.

✧ He’s always asking you to guess if you’re having a boy or a girl, insisting that “‘tis the mother’s intuition, after all.”

✧ You insist on remaining on your feet as long as possible, and your husband does not protest, knowing that exercise is good for the baby. That doesn’t mean he won’t be right behind you to catch you if you fall or check on your precious little bump, though, of course.

Gloin

✧ Not so subtle in his so-called 'baby fever', your husband has been going on and on about how his child will be his little flame, the apple of his eye, his world. You have no fear, then, sharing the news, in fact you amuse yourself by dropping your state in conversation like the plainest fact. "I'm glad you've got those new blankets, dear, what with the baby coming in winter and all," you told Gloin, taking a sip of your tea. Deafening is the only word you can use to describe the roar of celebration he gives, wonderfully bone-crushing and teeth-rattling your embrace and kiss.

✧ Tackles you to bed almost every night the first week, covering your cheeks and belly alike with kisses.

✧ Spends that very same time period sharing with absolutely any soul who even remotely listens that he’s going to be a father!

✧ Gloin is very insistent upon your care, even taking it upon himself to make your meals by hand. Which, suffice it to say, is a bit disastrous the first few times but he emerges triumphant in the end and succeeds in filling you with all the hearty things your budding dwarrowling needs!

✧ Being married to a dwarf means you have a husband who absolutely adores the extra pounds you put on and has no qualms about showing you in and out of the bedroom! Even just stopping by the market he’ll be wrapped around you.

✧ Encourages the baby every time they kick, shouting out praise of their strength while you tell him to cool it, all those kicks are going to you!

Bifur

✧ A large part of him thought that he would never be able to experience fatherhood. Not since the injury, and that had happened at such a young age. You cut right through that fear, assured Bifur that he would be an amazing father regardless of if he did some things differently. And that he would soon see, for your family would be growing early the next year.

✧ In all honesty, you feel blessed to have a husband who signs, for your baby will likely be able to communicate early! When you tell Bifur this he breaks out into tears, for what an angel you are to see the beauty in him. Every side of him. He promises to do the same.

✧ And make good on that does he! You will never want for love for even on your illest days Bifur is right by your side, his caresses gentle and speaking volumes of adoration.

✧ Absolutely adores jumping into the bath with you! His excuse being he has to help you and may as well rinse his beard off, but you can see how eager he is to run his hands over your hair and see the way your body relaxes at his cleansing touch. He wants nothing more than to feel useful, needed, and you assure him you cannot do this without him.

✧ Again and again, in fact, on the days when he stands behind you, holding up your burden and cheering you with little jokes and flirtation in Khuzdul even as you are overcome with exhaustion.

✧ Proudly tells everyone who will listen that he’s got a little warrior in there whenever the baby kicks!

Bofur

✧ You hadn’t exactly been trying. You hadn’t exactly been not trying, either. The news comes to you through a haze, muffled by the great rush of other thoughts bombarding your mind and sending your heart beating, but at their heart comes the image of Bofur holding a little one and bouncing them upon his knee and your chest flutters and soars. Your visit is completed all in smiles, and upon returning him to your husband’s questioning about the flu you’ve gone in for, you tell him it likely will not go away until the end of the year. “The end of the year? Why ever that long? I’ve never heard of a flu like that, not even-” “‘tisn’t a flu, my darling,” you smirk at him, “it’s a baby.” “A- you’re- we’re gonna have a-” Bofur is all agape, stepping closer and hovering his hands over your middle like he doesn’t want to grip you in a way that breaks you. “That all right?” You ask, half-teasing, for he has recently confided in you his envy of Bombur’s family. “All right? Song of my heart, I could kiss you!” “Well, what’s stopping you?”

✧ If you thought Bofur was affectionate before, well Mahal be with you, for you haven't seen anything yet! He falls even more in love with your body knowing it's carrying his and your child, hands nearly always holding or roaming you. When you're out and about, your husband usually has a hand at the small of your back, supporting the weight you carry as you walk and running soothingly up and down. Kisses all over your belly in private.

✧ This lends to how quick your husband is to reassure you on days you don't feel so friendly with your body, those times when you'd like nothing more than to shatter the looking-glass. "All I see," Bofur tells you one day, a hand on each of your shoulders as you peer together, "Is the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my lucky eyes upon, and she's not got an easy job. If I were her, I'd be proud of myself. Proud of making a comfortable home for our little one. And if I was her husband, why, I'd take her as she is right here and now! Right nice for me I am her husband, eh?"

✧ “Imagine havin’ a little girl.” Lying side by side, you heard Bofur’s wistful tone and felt a small smile creep onto your lips. “I’ll do her hair up in braids and tie them with ribbons. She’ll have all the pretty things she wants, because I have mine right here,” he adds, turning over to caress your belly and pull your lips into his.

✧ Marrying a toymaker comes with distinct perks: your husband crafts the most magnificent little wheeled contraptions and carven animals for your new addition! He spends hours carving and glazing them, and sometimes you catch him having fallen asleep at his workbench when you struggle to stay in dreamland, covering him up with a spare blanket.

✧ You worry because the baby doesn’t seem to move much, but Oin confirms everything seems to be going fine. “Your wee bairn just got this one’s personality, it seems!” He jokes, stabbing a mock-accusatory finger Bofur’s way.

Bombur

✧ A baker's dozen. For as long as you've known him, that's how many wee ones Bombur purported wanting. Thirteen more than most dwarves have, you always tease him, but in reality every time you see your sweet husband with children and hear him dream of a family your heart leaps. That is why the moment you take his hands and tell him it's come true is special, intimate, a quiet draw in and out of breath that has him sobbing joyously and nuzzling into your embrace with so much love your chest bursts from the flight of it.

✧ Sixth senses never seemed real to you until you became pregnant and it was like Bombur knew what you were craving and was making it before you could even say anything!

✧ Cannot keep away from you. Always wants to be kissing you and cupping your cheeks and holding your hands, just so so sweet!

✧ Bombur is so much more good-natured than you, for all the jokes about how you'll be as big as him soon have you swinging, but he just holds you back and laughs alongside them, saying he's looking forward to it with a twinkle in his eye.

✧ Literally baffled if you ever feel bad about your body; his legitimate confusion alone halfway snaps you out of the sad reverie, and all the following words about your beauty and your husband's appreciation of every inch does the rest.

✧ "You know I'll keep you safe, right? Both of you," he tells you one day, a hand resting upon your bump, "I may not be some great warrior, but Mahal help anyone who comes between us."

Dori

✧ From even before you were actually wed you knew that Dori would be an excellent father. Having taken care of his younger brothers from quite an early age, he had knowledge atop a naturally caring personality you fell for. Gentlemanly Dori waited with you, keeping chaste until after your wedding, but once it is official you know your news could come at any time and you accept that. On your one-year anniversary, in fact, your first gift to Dori is the tiniest bracelet of fine amber beads. “Does this mean…?” As soon as he sees you nod, Dori is taking you in his arms, cradling you gently as if you were made of fine porcelain and thrice as precious.

✧ Caring father-to-be. A little too caring. "If those are too heavy for you, I can carry them!" "They're just books, I'll be alright, Dori." "Oh, don't eat that, you got sick last time." "I haven't been sick in a month!" "That's a lot of steps, should I carry you?" "...Actually, sure."

✧ Always sleeps with his arm wrapped around your middle. No exceptions.

✧ Has every manner of tea and remedy you could desire on hand or otherwise purchases it. Same goes for supplies- Dori even found a ring-shaped cushion for you to lay on! He has your back for any ailment and is often there to make or apply your cure himself. After all, he wouldn't trust anyone else to do it!

✧ You love this dwarf with all your heart. He takes it upon himself to find dwarrowdams willing to let him practice changing diapers on their wee bairns and surprises you with this newfound skill when you return home one day!

✧ Dori’s love of the finer things absolutely carries over into his future fatherhood, as he has the loveliest little velvet clothes made and procures the dearest little bejeweled hairbrush. All in all, both of you amass far more than you need because any time you go out it inevitably devolves into you two clasping your joined hands between each other, gushing over all the wee things, and taking them home!

Nori

✧ He never thought he would get married at all, let alone have a family, but as time goes on the desire to continue his lineage and finally settle down takes hold. Then suddenly there he is desperately trying to seduce you into trying for a little one! It doesn't take long, not with his charm, until the day comes when you teasingly tell him that he got his way. Smirking until the realization takes hold of him, his arms are then snaking around your waist to pull you close.

✧ Always talking about how he's going to teach his little one everything he knows. When pressed about it, responds with such things as fighting and picking locks. His defense? "What if 'e gets stuck somewhere, or-"

✧ Impatient! "When am I gonna be able to feel 'em?" He asks, a hand upon your belly, which has yet to display any changes. "Not for another few months, Nori! I haven't even begun to show!"

✧ Hides things sometimes or puts them up places you can't go just so he can swoop in and help you, saving your day and pressing a kiss to your cheek as he tells you he can handle it, don't you worry your pretty little head.

✧ Nori always teases you when he pours himself a drink. "Bet you'd like some of this, huh? Not for three more months!" He chuckles. Your brows furrow. "Three months? What about when I'm feeding?" "What does tha- oh. Does that really-" "Yes, yes it does." "By the stars, I could have got my baby drunk!"

✧ Talks to the baby quite a bit, especially when he finally can feel the kicks. "Where you running off to, huh?" He chuckles, feeling the flutters against his hand pick up. "That's 'cause of me, isn't it? You hear me? That's right, it's your da. Can you believe it? Me, your da! I'll take good care of you, you hear?"

Ori

✧ "Ori, dear," you implored your husband, "Might you knit something for me?" Looking up from the scarf he'd just finished, Ori's eyes fell upon you and he gave that smile, the special one reserved just for you. "Of course. What would you like?" "A wee pair of booties," you replied, hands clasped and expression dreamy. "Who needs booties?" He asked, head cocked. "We will in the fall," you answered, stepping closer and resting a hand upon his. Ori's jaw dropped. "You... I... We-" Smile widening, you nodded. "I. You. We," you agreed.

✧ Nearly from the first day you know you are with child, Ori is rattling off names. After tossing out a great deal, he finally pauses and gives a sheepish apology. "I'm sorry, I suppose I've thought about this a lot," he confesses with a grin, "I just can't believe it's happening." Your hand joins with his, resting over your little bump. "Neither can I. It's like a dream."

✧ "So," you ask Ori one day, leaning your chin upon the couch where you'd lain, "What should our plan be for when my water breaks?" Your husband's brows furrow. "When your what?" "Oh, no," you mutter. Cue Ori spending his afternoon receiving a great multitude of lessons. What he got for being raised by other dwarf men, you suppose. "That really all happens to you?" He asks, gaping at you as though you came of the Valar themselves. "Yes, it does. Birth is a great deal of work. They don't just run on out, you know!" "Yes, I know. Of course I know." Ori's voice is faint; he excuses himself and you assume it's to faint or be sick, but about an hour later he returns bearing gifts. "I'm sorry I'm putting you through all that." "Sweetheart," you chuckle, cupping his cheek, "You know it takes two, right?" Your sweet husband reddened, but he nodded.

✧ Ori takes on almost all the cleaning himself- you haven't even asked! Finally curiosity gets the better of you and you inquire as to why he's gotten so into housekeeping. "Well, aren't you tired?" He asks simply, innocently, and you wonder how you got so lucky.

✧ He also knits far more than that pair of booties you requested- all three of you will have matching sweaters before your little one has arrived!

✧ Ori's favorite thing in the world is sitting with you in his lap, one hand cradling your growing bump and the other holding a book as you two take turns reading aloud, filling your cozy hollow with the sounds of voices your little one will come to love. The books are hand-drawn, written, and bound by him, of course!

Fili

✧ You two speak of little ones so much it borderline infuriates the others, Kili himself even bursting out in frustration one day at yet another interruption about tiny clothes, "Just get her pregnant already!" "Good idea. See you later," Fili replies, scooping you up and carrying you off bridal-style. "Wait, I- Damn, brother..." In reality, Fili just carried you around the corner and set you down while you two burst out laughing, but about a month later your tries were in fact successful!

✧ Honeyed words were no trouble for your husband before, but now? Praise falls endlessly from his lips. "Never did I think you could get more beautiful, and yet each day you succeed beyond my wildest dreams."

✧ Fili has a near-magical sense for your new struggles of coordination, all but flying to your side to catch your hand or waist whenever you trip or even whenever you must rise up again from your seat!

✧ He loves to tease you, asking what disgusting thing you'll think of him to fix next or joke that he can finally beat you in a fight in this state, but every joke is punctuated by the most loving eyes and gestures that they cannot do a thing but warm your heart and make you chuckle.

✧ Your baby is very active, kicking all the time! "We've definitely got a little Fili in here!" Your husband exclaims with a grin, hand resting atop your belly to feel your little one's exuberant motions. "A strong babe for sure," you sigh, "Much to the pity of my ribs!" "Too bad we aren't having a Kili. Nice and lazy for you." "Hey, I heard that!"

✧ He turns his head, peering over his shoulder at you as you waddle after him, golden hair cascading down. "Care for me to slow down a little?" "I care for you to shut up," you shoot back, crossing your arms and fighting your smile.

Kili

✧ The thought crossed your mind far before it did your husband's. Not that Kili had no desire for children, it was simply that the possibility was all the more yours to consider. It took a visit from your young cousin, who had Kili wrapped around your finger, for the fire to light in your husband's head as well, a smile lighting up his face. "We- we could..." "I know, Kili." You could and you certainly did but a few months later.

✧ "I hope they look just like you." "Me too." Kili pulls his head out of the crook of your neck. "Hey, that is the part where you say 'no, I hope they look like you'!" "I'm doing the work of carrying for how long again? Nine, ten months? Least they can do is resemble me a little," you shoot back with a smirk.

✧ It was Oin who brought the news: "Both babies seem healthy as far as I can tell!" "Both?" You gape. "Both babies?" "'s right," Oin replies, "I know I can't always hear the best, but I haven't been wrong on a heartbeat yet. You can feel 'em." "Guess we did pretty good, eh love?" Kili teases, earning him an elbow to the ribs, but he just shakes his head and tugs you closer against his chest. "Should we make their names confusing as well?" "Don't you think it might get old for them?" "Fili and I switched names plenty of times and we aren't even identical!" You should have known.

✧ Kili takes to sleeping facing you, close enough that sometimes your cheeks brush. Others he slips down lower and you awake with your husband cuddled up to the bump of your belly.

✧ Will come running from any room, anywhere, to feel the babies kick, and also loves tugging along any of his family he can take, too. Childlike wonder fills your husband's eyes every time and pride glistens in his dark eyes when he's brought along his mother, his brother, even his uncle the king!

✧ Never once do you doubt yourself or have one moment of room for insecurity, for Kili still flirts with you as if you were tweens and sneaks all sorts of touches, pecks, and affectionate hands in your hair wherever he can find it! The notion of a baby destroying the romance of your relationship is laughable to you, who married a dwarf that has no shame telling you you're the most gorgeous creature to walk the earth and warm his-and the baby's in a different way-body.

Bilbo

✧ Bilbo's a perceptive hobbit. He knows something's off with you. You don't usually scurry around the way you are like everything has to be perfect. That's his job. "Something the matter? Are you... expecting someone?" Your husband follows you down Bag End's hall as he gives his inquiry, eyebrows shooting up at the look on your face when you turn around. Consternation, resignation, finally a smile. "I was going to tell you after dinner," you answered, "But since you asked it like that, yes I am expecting someone. Our child this spring." At that, it was Bilbo's turn to shift through expressions. Shock, realization, finally a smile.

✧ Nursery shopping has become Bilbo's favorite pastime. Baby Baggins isn't arriving for months and yet your husband is returning from market with all manner of trinkets for the shelves and paper for the walls. You cannot help giggling at his armfuls of supplies and kissing his cheek as you relieve as much of his burden as he allows you to.

✧ So sweet, always helping you dress, pulling on every garment with the utmost of care and even avoiding your reflection on days you feel bad. Quickly kissing each part of your body before he covers it with something he knows will be comfortable.

✧ You'll be eating well whether you like it or not! Bilbo will make you anything under the sun if it means you and Baby Baggins are getting nourishment and he certainly will not have you skimping! Anything that makes you sick simply is not allowed in Bag End at all, end of discussion.

✧ One night, you awake to soft whispers and your heart melts at the sight of Bilbo resting his chin on your growing bump talking to the baby. Not uttering a word, you simply watch, taking in the moment beneath the sheen of tears in your eyes.

✧ "Careful, careful," Bilbo is always telling you, holding your hand and guiding you over the smallest of obstacles, even little puddles and rocks.

Thranduil

✧ He has talked about getting you pregnant before, but speaking of it and doing it are two entirely different things, especially with...well, words of such nature. Thus, you find yourself nervously wringing your hands before your husband as he strokes your face, asking whatever is the matter. At Thranduil's touch, his intense gaze, you fin yourself melting and admitting all, confessing that you are expecting his child. You are certainly not expecting the way his confident smile utterly falters, dissipating in favor of the look of a man near tears. "Truly? A little one of our own?" "Yes," you whisper, finally able to smile as the tension melts from your body, which is soon pulled against the Woodland King's. "Long have I dreamed of this day, my love."

✧ One of his favorite new activities is commissioning you new maternity dresses; you will certainly have plenty to wear if Thranduil has any say about it! In addition, when the time comes of course he requests that you model them for him.

✧ Thranduil loves to sneak up behind you, lightly wrapping his hands about your waist and laying them atop yours, his head resting in the crook of your neck and breathy, pleased laughter warming the skin there.

✧ When you start showing, oh, he loves it. One more sign that you are his, utterly and truly his queen, his beloved, claimed by Thranduil in every sense. He follows your lead, a hand around your waist, letting you shine like the gem he knows you to be. Rarely will you two be seen apart, not when the king can bask in your glow, relish the eyes upon your beautiful form, heavy with his child.

✧ There is one day he catches you in tears and heart tearing he steps to scoop you up against him, cheeks held gently in his elegant hands, which begin to glitter with your tears. "My rings no longer fit," you sob, head falling to his chest. Thranduil holds you close, grip loose as though you might break. "That is not your fault, meleth nîn." "I feel so... so massive." "Who wishes a small dwelling, hm? Piteous thing not to have any comforts. Your body is a host of life, the vessel of a bloodline. Beautiful in all its forms. Never forget that, oh dearest one."

✧ Thranduil is experienced; he knows many little tricks to help you feel better, be they massages or ways to bear your weight. He impresses you with the knowledge he has of the ways of women, understanding your water breaking, dilation, and every complication the healers warn you about and telling you before they even do!

Feren

✧ First to know was neither you nor your husband, but rather your cat, for she had suddenly become your little shadow, following you about your home and taking rest upon your lap as often as she could. "I wonder what it is that got into her," you commented one afternoon, smiling and stroking her back. "Growing up, ours got like this when my mother was carrying my younger sisters. Both times. It was like he could sense it," Feren replied. You both sat in smiling silence for a moment longer before simultaneously straightening, looking each other right in the widening eyes.

✧ Gets a little flustered, frankly. Not so much at your news itself, simply the realization sinking in that he is to be a father. He, Feren, will have a child. He says this out loud several times before suddenly breaking out into a smile. You tease him for going through half his emotions at once, but now the wave of joy has swept him up!

✧ Playfully rolls his eyes and mock-complains every time you remind him that he has to clean up after the cat now! Subsequently adds that he would fetch you the moon if you asked it.

✧ Loves helping you bathe the more difficult your condition makes it, scrubbing your hair with such care and gently massaging your sore feet and ankles as you wash up. Despite your husband's skill in battle, Feren's hands are the most loving and delicate you could ask for.

✧ Your husband has a natural tendency to rise early, so now that your sleep has become more fitful you do find that you have more time to spend together. Your head falling to his shoulder as you whisper to each other, seated as you are upon your bed with blankets draped over your shoulders.

✧ Feren wins your heart time and time again, like the day he lowered you down gently onto the grass of a sunny meadow, basking with you and weaving flowers. He made you a ring, crowned you with a wreath of flowers atop your head, and made another little one to place gently on the curve of your belly, bringing your heart to soar.

Bard

✧ Uncertainty wracks your heart and wrings your hands at the would-be-cheerful news. In fact, you yourself do feel joy, have since your suspicions were confirmed, but would Bard see it the same way? He already has three mouths to feed, three children all old enough to take care of themselves. Will he wish to start it all over so? "What's wrong, love? Your lip is bleeding." So it is. You've practically gnawed the poor thing off in all your stewing. A sigh escapes you. Bard is your husband. No sense in delaying a very necessary conversation. "I know we should have spoken more about it..." You begin, trailing off. At once, Bard senses your reservation and rises to your side, taking hold of your arms; the love in his dark eyes brings a small smile to your lips and relaxes you slightly. "I'm with child, Bard." Almost childlike is the wonder and joy spreading across your face, and before you can say another word you are being pulled into Bard's chest, face snuggling into the fur of his coat.

✧ He knows what to expect, naturally, so Bard is definitely not the type of husband to gripe about your requests, though he does smirk and poke fun if you’re especially outrageous with it or have a funny enough delivery. Then kisses you if you pout about it before fetching what you seek.

✧ Caution overtakes you and your husband as you make to tell his older children the news, particularly you, but your wringing hands relax when you can see the joy in their eyes, particularly the girls! They hope the baby is another girl, hugging you so tight you almost cannot breathe, but you complain not.

✧ Happy is Bard to take on assistance cooking; he knows it can make you sick sometimes and besides, it's a nice excuse to make sure you get all the nutrients you need! You are certainly very lucky in the skill and domesticity of your spouse.

✧ Stands behind you and reaches his arms around you, lifting up the weight you carry and smiling, kissing your neck and cheeks as you relax from your burden.

✧ He also has no qualms about making you rest, down even to physically lifting you up and carrying you to bed if he must!

Beorn

✧ Hesitant as he always would have claimed to be about bringing more Skin-Changers into a world so cruel to them, Beorn feels his nesting instincts kick in very quickly after you become his wife. You see it in the things he gathers, the way your husband moves things such as your blades to higher, safer locations. He is anticipating something. Something you cannot help pulling him aside and asking about, and when your feelings on the subject are made known, well, it is entirely possible you conceived that very night.

✧ Beorn has an almost eerie sense for all the changes taking place in your body. You feel a sharp pain in your back, and without a word your husband is behind you, ushering you down for a massage with some of the oils he's pressed.

✧ The aforementioned nesting instincts manifest early on, your husband carefully blunting corners and tucking away the best blankets so the little one-or ones!- will be nothing but safe and comfortable.

✧ Withdrawn as he could be, Beorn's affection is drawn out by your condition, his big brown eyes soft upon you as he pulls you into his lap, large hands secure about your waist and sliding gently up and down your growing belly.

✧ And grow it does! It seems to get heavier by the day, but that is explained thanks to your husband's exceptional hearing. "Four heartbeats. One is yours. A litter- three are coming!" Spots dance in your vision at that news, but Beorn's smile as he grips your hand brings you back to the light. You could do it with him by your side. "Our little litter."

✧ He attempts to reassure you anytime your anxiety grows. "My dearest flower, I have delivered hundreds of calves and piglets in my day! You will see this through." Reassuring? Perhaps not so much. But in your heightened emotion, that does break you into a wild laughter that does indeed relax you nonetheless.

Want to meet the little ones? Perhaps there will be a Part 2 😉

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[pinescent-and-gingerbread]

˗ˏˋ Arthur Morgan Modern!AU Headcanons ´ˎ˗

To answer this ask from the lovely @crystalofmoon19 , I got to think a bit more deeply about what a modern!AU Arthur could be. This absolutely stunning Arthur pic is from @arthurmorgan-vp!

JOB ´ˎ˗

Has a job that means a lot to him and is totally dedicated when doing it.

Arthur flourishes when helping others. I saw a Chartur fanart that portrayed him as a nurse and god I love this idea. He's emotionally VERY tough, making him efficient even in difficult and stressful times when a patient's life is in his hands. He's also a practical person who needs to have a concrete, manual aspect in his work. On top of that, we have the whole "service to society" aspect.

Police officer could also fit this dynamic. (I know it's pretty ironic considering he's a criminal in the canon but it's one of these jobs where he could put his strength into action to help others).

Also, without the need to survive and do criminal acts, with a caring family who could push him in the right ways, he also could have a job in arts. Arthur canonically is a curious and inventive person, he draws every little thing he finds interesting around him and cares for places, characters and events most people wouldn’t. I could picture him as an illustrator/concept artist. Or tattoo artist too? Why not.

HOBBIES ´ˎ˗

Sooooo artsy.

If he works at the hospital, he needs to have a sketchbook to just write and draw like in the canon. With other mediums being way more accessible nowadays, I think he could also paint and even sculpt from time to time.

Art helps him to get dark thoughts out of his head and focus on something when life gets hard.

However, if he already works in an artsy field, I think he would need to get up and move after a whole day sitting and would love to just go jogging, hiking, and taking long walks in nature. A combat sport could also do the work, as Arthur has an important code of honor: a discipline like Judo or Wrestling could help him get all his pent-up energy out while respecting his opponent; boxing could work too.

100% have a Polaroid and takes pictures of good times and his close ones every chance he gets. His bedroom/apartment is full of objects that carry an emotional value to him.

MODERN THINGS HE LIKES ´ˎ˗

Barbecues.

Would wear the ugliest apron and cap while doing them btw. And doesn't see what the problem is.

Classical rock music and vinyl. Thinking about Led Zepplin, The Stones, The Doors. Vintage music all the way. Has a secret soft spot for Lady Gaga though. Don't tell John. And (not-so) hot take, it's Hosea who introduces him to his old blues and rock records (Dutch prefers Jazz music.)

Camping and long hiking trips. Trekking when he feels really adventurous.

Going to the cinema. (100% eats salty popcorn and messes with John during the film if it's a family outing.)

In modern days Arthur would have been born in 1988. This means he was a '90s kid: he fondly remembers VHS tapes, baggy jeans, his old PlayStation One, maybe watching the first episodes of Pokémon, too. He's canonically such a nostalgic.

Would 100% make his own mix on cassette tapes btw

Flannels. I picture him with comfy rather than fancy clothes. He would also have a big leather jacket or vintage bomber for winter. And a leather bag like this one where important work papers are mixed with random trinkets found on his hikes.

RANDOM LITTLE FACTS ´ˎ˗

Arthur is so messy (I mean look at his tent). His car (Hosea's old one) is also a complete mess, cups, leftovers from meals, CDs, work stuff and random objects cover every possible inch of it.

Talking about it, looooves to drive. Totally do it with one hand on the wheel. And with good music ofc. (He would put his other hand on your thigh)

Has a dog. Or wants one deeply. A big one. And he definitely wants a lot of animals once he has a bigger house with you.

I said he could be a tattoo artist. I think he would have a tattoo, of an animal. Of course, we as a fandom thinks of the deer, but it has to be something meaningful to him. Maybe the animal who inspires him the most, or one they have seen in the wild with John during a walk in the woods.

Arthur is not a good cook. Buys a lot of food telling himself this time, he will succeed at making this damn dish. Biggest mess ever, ingredients everywhere on the floor, the walls, his body and hair. Pure chaos. Everything burns. Kitchen ends up on fire. Uses the internet as last hope, tries to watch as many tutorials as possible but it doesn't help+his phone ends up covered in egg white, flour, and wet ingredients. Throws away the food and gives up, orders a pizza.

Repeat previous paragraph every time he wants to try a new dish he saw somewhere.

(The phone is okay because he has the strongest and largest phone case ever. The kind of enormous one made to protect phones in building zones, for his hikes. It's pitch black.)

Overall I'd say a Modern!AU Arthur would probably be a bit happier even though still very nostalgic and melancholic at times (without the constant need to run away and kill people, his mental health would be much better.)

Important disclaimer: these are my personal thoughts, they could totally be shitty, I'm not at all claiming this is the absolute truth about him. A character is always subject to a personal interpretation, therefore anyone could picture him differently! Btw, I would love to hear your thoughts about it!

Thanks for reading! I hope you liked my silly little ideas.

I'm thinking about doing a part.2 where we could dive into his habits, his relationships with family, friends and s/o and other little fun facts. Let me know if I should! -Pine 🌱

[pensat-i-fet]

His very own real princess (Pedri x Reader)

**I'm back with another imagine! This one was requested many moons ago and the anon who sent it might have forgotten about it so sorry 😕 but I got the inspiration for it and so I wanted to share it! I'm not so used to writing short format anymore so I feel everything could be a series. Let me know if you'd like this concept to be one! ☺️ And enjoy! ❤️**

Word count: 3675

Masterlist

Wattpad

Being famous was not as great as people made it up to be. For Pedri, it meant leaving the house was too much sometimes. He had to deal with people following him and even getting in front of his car just to get his attention. He was asked to sign autographs and to take photos every couple of minutes. While he loved his fans, it could be a bit much. Especially when he could tell they were filming him so they could post the video on TikTok for a couple hundred likes. So, one day, he tried to avoid those people by going to a park. He could probably lose them there. There were so many trees and dogs that made it harder to move quickly around the area.

For you, it had been a bit different. Growing up your family wanted to keep you a secret almost. For security reasons…or so they said. So, naturally, you wanted to rebel against them and do the complete opposite. Still, it wasn’t until you turned 18 that you started to show up at official events. And now you were 20, you realised maybe your parents had been right all along. But you weren’t going to tell them that. Of course. So while some paparazzi were chasing you, you spotted a park and thought you could hide there for a bit. Maybe even call your chauffeur so he could pick you up and save you from the vultures.

“Oh! Sorry”.

Pedri turned to look at the girl who was apologising to him. You had bumped into each other and he hit you in the head with his shoulder without meaning to. He hadn’t even seen you there.

“No, I’m the one who’s sorry. Are you alright?”

And then, it happened. You looked up to see his face and you couldn’t believe who it was that you were talking to.

“Oh my God…oh my God”, was all you could say.

“I take it you know who I am”.

“Yeah, who doesn’t?”

Pedri chuckled. “I guess there are some lucky folks out there who don’t. But really, are you ok?”

“Yes, it’s fine. Just more shocked to see you here than anything else”.

Pedri smiled at you and you were trying hard not to swoon. Being hidden from the public eye meant you hadn’t been around a lot of famous people before. Your second cousins were way more used to this and always told you famous people were just normal people. To them…not to you. To you, famous people were…fascinating.

“I was planning on hiding here for a bit”, you said.

“Me too, but I don’t want to ruin your plan so I could leave…”.

Pedri started to look around, getting ready to leave so you stopped him. “You don't know who I am so that makes you good company. Perfect company actually. So you can stay. Also, you got here first”.

“Should I know who you are?”

“I guess not”, you shrugged. Not everyone followed your family. Thankfully.

“Are you a singer?

“Babies cry when I sing”.

“Actress?”

“Nope”.

“Influencer”.

“I only influence how much money there is left in my dad's bank account”.

You thought it was really cute how he concentrated, trying to guess. “Then…a model?”

“No, but I appreciate the compliment”.

“What compliment?”

“If you think I could be a model, then you think I'm pretty”.

“Well”, he started. “I like to invite pretty girls to eat or have a drink so…which one is it going to be?”

“There is an ice cream ban there…if you dare approach it”.

It made you laugh how Pedri looked around the area, making sure no one who could know him was there and then he turned to look at you again.

“What flavour?”

“One ball of coffee and one of vanilla, please”.

“Sounds sophisticated”.

“I guess you’re getting closer to my identity”, you laughed.

“What are you? A princess?”

“Nah, the princesses are my cousins”.

Pedri laughed before going to the ban to get the ice cream. The funny thing about being part of the Royal family was that it was so weird that many thought you were joking when you said that. But you weren’t. Not many people knew your parents but they still were part of the family so…they got attention. And now, you got the attention too.

“Here is your ice cream, your Majesty”.

“Thank you, Golden boy”, you joked back.

“Does that make me royalty too?”

“I guess. Football royalty so less hated than real royalty”. “Less hated? You clearly aren’t on Twitter”.

No, you weren’t. No amount of therapy would heal you after reading what people wrote about you or your family there.

Sitting down on the grass and eating an ice cream while chatting with Pedri was something that healed your mood. It was so nice to be with someone who didn’t know who you were but that also understood how you felt. Even if he didn’t know it yet.

“There are a lot of kids and parents around now. I feel no one will even look at us while we leave”.

You looked around and agreed with his assessment. “Ok, where should we go?”

“I don’t know. Wanna go walk near the beach? It’s usually where I end up when I go out. It’s not often I do but it’s nice to go there”.

“I like the beach”.

“Where are you from?”

“Well…it’s a funny question that one”, you sighed.

“How so?” “I was born in The Netherlands, then lived in Madrid for a bit, went to school in Switzerland and Wales and now I’m back in Spain. I go to different cities all the time. I like travelling”.

“Wow, that’s a lot. Was it a boarding school you went to?”

“Yeah”.

“Maybe you are a princess after all”.

You giggled and looked down to hide your blush. Yes, your life sounded very much like that of a princess. Even if about 40 family members needed to die for you to become one for real.

“I love this”, you said, looking around and feeling so…normal.

“Yeah? That’s good”.

Pedri smiled at you and you realised maybe it wasn’t so normal what was going on. Sure, you were on a walk like a normal person but you were walking with a very famous footballer. That didn’t happen every day. At least not to you.

“And I see pizza there. Do you want a slice?”

“I probably shouldn’t…”.

“But Pedri! Today everything is possible! You’re not a football player but just Pedro from Tenerife. And I’m not a princess”.

“What are you then?”, he asked, smirking.

“I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy…asking him to get some pizza”.

The excitement of the crazy afternoon made you lose a bit of the control you usually had and you grabbed Pedri’s arm to take him to the pizza ban. It wasn’t like holding hands but…once the physical contact started, you were both very aware of it. But pretended it was all normal.

After buying the pizza slices, you didn’t wait a second to start eating. You were so hungry and it wasn’t often you got to eat greasy pizza with your hands.

“That burns!”, you complained, opening your mouth and using your hand as a fan.

“Maybe wait a little to eat”.

“I was hungry”, you pouted and that made Pedri stare at your lips.

“You got some sauce on your mouth”.

“I think I have a mirror on my bag…”.

But before you had time to find it, Pedri used one of his napkins to clean your face. When you looked up at him, you noticed he seemed to have done that without even realising.

“Sorry”.

“No, don’t be. Thank you for not letting me look dirty while we walked”.

“Princesses have to always look perfect”.

“Exactly”, you told him, laughing.

But good things had to come to an end and soon Pedri started to notice people looking at him. That meant it was time to go home.

“I’m sorry. It just…that’s my life”.

“I get it”, you told him, wanting to explain to him how much you actually got it. “It was fun to spend some time with you though”.

“Would you like to do it again?”

“I would. But maybe somewhere more private”.

“Do you have Instagram? So you can follow me and we can talk about meeting”.

That made you pause. You had an official account controlled by people hired by your family but also a private one. So maybe you could use that one to follow him.

“Yeah. I’ll follow you later and send you a message”.

“Cool. See you…soon?”

You nodded, not knowing what to do. Should you hug him? But then all the people ready to surround him showed you that no, a hug wouldn’t be a good idea. So you said goodbye and left.

Pedri was entering the dressing room a couple of days after you met, not really looking at his teammates but at his phone. You two had been texting ever since you separated. And he was constantly checking to see if you had sent him a new message.

“Hello, your Majesty”, said one of Pedri’s teammates and it took him a second to notice he was looking at him.

“Sorry?”

“I just said hi to your Majesty. Would you like us to find a throne for you to sit on?”

“What are you on about?”

“Haven't seen the cover of the magazine yet?”, asked Frenkie.

“I haven't done any covers lately…”.

“The gossip magazine”, pointed out Lamine. “It’s all everyone is talking about”.

“I don’t get it. I haven’t done anything to be in one of those magazines”.

“How about going out with a pretty girl the other day? Paparazzi are everywhere. You should know that by now”.

So people had seen him when he was hanging out with you. Great. You didn’t seem like someone who’d enjoy the attention. But why make such a big deal out of him being seen with someone unknown?

“You also chose the wrong girl to date”.

“I’m not dating her but she's just a normal girl…”.

“Who's related to the Royal family. And here we were worrying about Gavi being the one who could become king”.

“I would have made a great king”, said Gavi, raising his chin proudly.

“You would have made a terrible king”, told him Fermín, shaking his head.

“What do you mean Royal family?”

Pedri was about to start freaking out. You joked about being a princess but…was it not a joke? What? He knew the princesses! Leonor, Sofía, Victoria, …none of them were you. So what the heck was going on?

“She’s like a second or third cousin of the real princesses but the media has been trying to find out everything about her in the last few years”, explained Pau.

“How do you know so much about that?”

“My mum loves the Royals. I live with her and she talks about it”, shrugged the youngster.

The jokes continued but Pedri didn’t care. He just kept thinking about how you had lied to him. And he got it in a way. It couldn’t be easy to be in your position but…you had spent two days talking to each other about a lot of personal stuff. Didn’t you trust him enough to tell him the truth?

When he finished training and picked up his phone again, he saw a text from you saying “I’m sorry”. A part of him wanted to ignore it but you didn’t deserve that kind of treatment despite your lies. So he asked you to meet instead. But you were in Madrid for a couple of days so it’d have to wait. You apologized multiple times and Pedri told you it was ok but…you weren’t so sure.

“What’s wrong?”, asked your cousin Sofía, who was a real princess.

“You saw the magazines, right?”

“Yes. Wanna talk about it?”

“I…we bumped into each other randomly and it was so good to meet someone who didn’t know who I was. You get it, Sof. If someone gets it, it’ll be you”.

“I do. Is he mad at you for lying?”

“Not really”, you said, frowning. “I expected him to be but he seems to understand why I lied. He also gets it”.

“I bet he does. So, what are you going to do?”

“We’ll meet when I get back to Barcelona in a few days”.

Sofía laughed looking at you. “That smile…someone is smitten!”

“How could I not be? Have you seen him? And he’s super nice too, not just handsome. But I fear I’ve ruined it”.

“Don’t be so negative. Let’s just get ready for the match and forget about your Barça boy for a couple of hours”.

It wasn’t a secret that the king of Spain supported Atlético de Madrid and a lot of people suspected his daughter Sofía did as well. However, it was very hard for her to attend matches without people noticing but she had become a bit of a pro at it. And now she was taking you to the match too.

The match was fun and Atleti won so Sofía was very happy. And you didn’t get spotted by anyone…or so you thought.

“Pepi!”, called Ferran when Pedri was entering the dressing room in the morning.

“What?”

“Your princess is a traitor, she doesn't even support you”.

“What are you talking about?”

“She was at the Atleti match yesterday with Princess Sofía. But I bet you can turn her into a Barça fan”.

Ferran’s wink didn’t stop Pedri from feeling so weird about this whole situation. Or more like jealous. What if you had your eye on an Atleti player?

But he could only stare at the photos in the article. After your meeting, he had only the memory of how you looked that day. Your private Instagram only had a handful of photos and a few were of your dogs. The official Instagram only had a few official photos and…even though that was you too, it wasn’t the you Pedri knew. The girl in the photos from the Atleti match was you. Laughing with your cousin and looking so happy.

The article…he didn’t like as much. After the photos of what the press called “a date” were published, they just assumed you were seeing Pedri. So what were you doing watching a rival team? It wasn’t as if you went to see a Real Madrid match, God forbid. But still…shouldn’t you be supporting “your boyfriend”?

“Hi”.

A few days later, you were back in Barcelona and Pedri invited you to have lunch with him. Finding a place where no one would see you was hard, but your family knew a few tricks to achieve that.

“Hey. It’s good to see you again”.

This time, you did hug as a greeting. Even if you had spoken only via texts, it still felt like you knew each other so well now. So a hug seemed like the right thing to do.

“I’m sorry about everything that happened. I just…I don’t know, Pedri. Being with you made me forget who I was for a second and I didn’t think about how this could affect you”.

“It’s ok. You know I get it. It’s the same for me. My every move is overanalysed. Though I guess being a princess is a bit more important”.

“Not this again”, you shook your head, laughing. “I’m not a princess. I’m a nobody, really. But the press was waiting for a moment like this. A scandal or whatever”.

“Eating pizza in public is very scandalous. I don’t know how your reputation will recover”.

You laughed at Pedri’s joke but also remembered what you had been told. “It’s not so much what I did but who I did it with”.

“Oh…ok”.

When the photos were published, your parents talked to you about all the reasons why you should stay away from Pedri. Before you even had time to say nothing was going on…at least not yet.

“It’s stupid. I told you I’m a nobody. But family connections dictate this or that…I don’t want to date a politician or another royal just because it’s what I’m supposed to do. I don’t have it as bad as my cousins. You know, the real princesses. But still…it’s boring. I want to be able to make my own decisions”.

“You don’t want to date a politician…but would you like to date me?”

Being so annoyed with your family and their restrictions, you didn’t realise Pedri wasn’t stupid and could easily read between the lines.

“You’re better than a politician so…”.

“Look”, said Pedri, grabbing your hand to hold it. “No relationship was going to be easy for me. I knew that. So…this doesn’t scare me”.

“Really? I was actually worried it would”.

“I could see it in your face”.

“Can you read minds now? Is that how you know where to shoot the ball?”

“No, that’s because I’m a generational talent”, joked Pedri, making you laugh. “But I mean it. I’m not scared. Are you?”

“Not as much as I probably should”.

“But…are you an Atleti fan? These are the important conversations we need to have before trying to date”.

“That’s my cousin. I don’t really have a team. So I might let you convince me to become a Barça fan. I already support Spain so…”.

“Even against The Netherlands?”, he asked. Your mum was Dutch so it was a fair question.

“Only if you play for Spain that day”.

And so you both forgot about what people would say, what people would demand from each of you and started to date. There was no need to hide since there were photos of your first date online already. Even if back then you didn’t want to admit it was a date.

Being together compensated for any comments or insults…but Pedri was starting to get a bit tired of his teammates curtsying in front of him and calling him Majesty. They did it with you too, which only made you laugh.

“I told you, guys. I’m not a princess”.

“No. Not officially”, told you Pedri. “But you are my very own princess. My queen even”.

Your blush made everyone laughed. It was so obvious to everyone how in love you both were.

However, the media was going to try to find anything that could make it sound like your lovely love story wasn’t so lovely.

Something your family always had to do was attend charity events. It was probably one of the few things you liked doing, since many of those events raised money for great causes. So when you were invited to one to raise money for cancer research, you said yes immediately. It being organised by the Atlético de Madrid foundation didn’t matter to you. But for the press…it was a different story.

“Hi, it’s nice meeting you”.

You turned to see it was Álvaro Morata, the player who presided the event, saying hello to you.

“Thank you, it’s nice meeting you too”.

“I heard about you and Pedri…sorry if it’s too informal of me to say this”. “It’s ok, don’t worry”.

“So…you two are really together?”

“Yes”, you said, blushing.

“Good. He’s a good guy. I’ll see you around the Spain matches then”.

“You will”.

Other players were there too and you were introduced to all of them. Mario Hermoso, Marcos Llorente, …they were all very nice to you. But it was a younger player you had to sit next to at your table. One that you hadn’t met before but that introduced himself as Rodrigo Riquelme. However, that wasn’t what his teammates called him.

“Should I call you Rodrigo or Roro?”

“I feel I can’t ask someone of your station to call me such a nickname”.

You laughed seeing the Atleti player blushing. “I don’t mind. I’m not really that important”.

“You are the most important person here”.

“Depends on who you asked”, you shrugged.

It was lovely having someone young to chat with at such an event. You were usually surrounded by old politicians and entrepreneurs who bored you to death with their conversations. So you had a great time…Pedri didn’t have as much fun seeing all the posts on social media talking about how his girlfriend was being too friendly with another player.

He knew it was stupid. You were just chatting with Riquelme. Pedri knew you now and realised that was how you talked to his friends too. That was how you talked to Ferran, for example. It was nothing like how you talked to Pedri.

But still…it wasn’t nice to see so many people doubting your relationship. And, what was worse, insulting you.

“You look unhappy”, you said when you met him again in Barcelona. “Is it because of the articles? Nothing happened with Riquelme. I swear”.

“I know”, he sighed, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your forehead. “I just hate how people will try to find any excuse to try and hurt us”.

“We knew it was going to happen…”.

“It’s not nice anyway”.

“But we’re fine?”, you asked, worried.

“We’re fine. I missed you a lot”.

“I know. I missed you too”.

Knowing Pedri trusted you was so important and you felt you needed to prove you were worth that trust. So, even though you knew you were likely to get in trouble, you forgot about protocol and attended his match wearing his shirt.

It wasn’t even the most important match but when it ended, you went as close to the pitch as you could and called Pedri so he could go meet you. Every one of his teammates that walked past curtsied and called you two “your Majesties”. But you didn’t care. You looked around, noticing the cameras were all pointed at you, and kissed Pedri.

“Making sure everyone knows you’re just my princess?”, he whispered.

“Yes. And while we’re at it, everyone can also learn you’re my prince”.

[berriblossom]

Hi can I make a request of Casper from a date with death with a short s/o that’s chubby and a baker and is a otaku and is a tomboy but still likes some cute things tho

I just wanna see some domestic things for Casper

-> This is so much cuteness! Thank you for the ask!

-> What he loves most | Casper x gn!reader! -> Second POV, just fluff!

There were a lot of things Casper had to get used to when he had his newfound freedom from being a reaper of souls. Many of which he happily shared with you.

Whether it was going through old manga that you had stored on your shelves that he read in his free time, or watching old animation films you bought for him to entertain himself with. Some nights if he felt up to it, he'd ask to wear a face mask while watching a new show of yours. He may not understand the concept of "fighting for your honor back " but he'd watch if it makes you happy. Another thing Casper loves while doing this is laying his head on your thighs or tummy. Slowly as you watch the film you'll notice him lean closer and closer to you as the show goes on. Soon enough he's lying on your thighs commenting about the protagonist being too bright or obnoxiously loud. (if you mention anything about being the same way to him, he will deny it and say you get an exception because his sunshine is supposed to be bright and vibrant.) He will also remind you if the show you are watching or catching up on has new episodes, just to remind you and make you smile at the end of a work day.

If you like playing games of any sort, he is down but is competitive and kind of a grandpa.(remember the emoji convo) so be patient with him. He is trying. I see Casper as the type of gamer to play the Sims and never leave the computer, just designing his future with you, your pet, Azrael, and a garden for you. (with a large kitchen and space for baking, with a personal room for you and your novelties and books). Don't let him play a horror game. He either makes fun of it for the overdramatic deaths or he'll challenge it. Either way, the fear factor won't work on him like that(in my opinion) but try and delete the 4 bedroom and 3 bath home on the Sims he made for you, there you will get tears and screams.

Another thing Casper likes is your job. Even though he has mentioned that reapers don't need to eat, sleep, or breathe somehow he is always jumping at the occasion whenever you text him about bringing home any baked goods or pastries from the shop home to him and Azrael. (yes, him too because it is an excuse for you to bring more to share) It doesn't matter what you pick, he'll eat it with an adorable face of joy. He sometimes will come down to the bakery and help if you need it.

While making fun of you for being "below the average mortal height" that he has seen over the years. You can flirt as much as you want to but, Casper will always use his height to his advantage. If you're in the shop and need something from a high shelf or above the fridge? Ask him politely to inflate his ego a little bit and then he will help you. While placing his tease a bit. Looking for something specific but can't seem to find it. He placed it on top of the fridge in "sky jail" because you teased him earlier about liking cream in his mouth. Now you'll never finish the dessert you were making unless you go to find the step stool. (which he has also put in a higher place to piss you off more.)

Cuddling sessions after a tiring day of work are as ethereal as Casper is. Had a hard day at work? Get in the blanket with him, he might be as frigid as a frozen tundra but his cuddles and affectionate squeezes and words of encouragement are just as warm. A customer made you a little upset? Oh, trash needed to go out on Thursday anyway (that's a joke, unless...).

The best learning experience for Casper is when he tries to bake or cook with you, he doesn't know the proper measurements for anything, it's random bullshit and go for him. But he will listen to your instructions. While he is intently measuring the sugar, water, and yeast mixture with full concentration, if you go up to him and give him a kiss or hug him from behind he'll shoo you away and mumble about how he was so kind to be helping you at work. FOR FREE. But after a few minutes, he'll ask for your assistance on a task and will cling to you like glue. Will he get flour in his hair? You'll never know, but he will snipe samples and test batches of anything you'll make. Your coworker's batches? Not so much. Even if it is hot garbage in your opinion he will still eat it up as if he was starved.

All in all, Casper can be a little shit or sweetheart for you. Just bring some extra snacks for him and Azrael for the next few days while he is on that Sims 4 dream home.

[fangirlblogger]

Fangirl Analysis Four: Bill Skarsgard's forehead wrinkles.

Girlies, the concept of this analysis is something that has been on mind since I've started evolving into a woman. I have developed this attraction of men's forehead wrinkles since last year and it's not because of my daddy issues (that's another conversation for another time), it's because of aging unfortunately. But I'm glad I'm aging because then I would not be here analyzing this beautiful and masterful craft on Daddy Bill Skarsgard's forehead. The man's got a heavenly forehead and girrrl, the things I want to do to that forehead are endless. With that being said, let's get into the analysis.

Listen girlies, if Bill looked at me the way he did in this image, I would instantly melt, evaporate and vanish. Girl, I don't know whether I want him to look at me that way forever or eat me and look at me like that till I pass out. I'm swooning over this look right now and the thing that makes this image more desirable and religiously worthy to be worshiped is his forehead wrinkles.

This image is from the Clark TV mini series and Bill played Clark Olofsson - a Swedish criminal in the 70s that prompted society to coined the term Stockholm Syndrome based on his relationships with his hostages or victims. Spoiler for those who did not watch the mini series yet, that's basically what the series is about. If you're a Bill Skarsgard fangirl like myself who has not watched this mini series yet, GIRL YOU HAVE TO (it's on Netflix if you're wondering). You will enjoy and devour every moment of it. Every sound of his voice, all of his body movements, all his angry, lustful, joyful, sad and confused glances and looks, his thick and rough Swedish accent, his manipulative smiles, his boisterous laughter and most importantly the way he devoured that oyster in Episode one, good Lord I came so hard, I almost thought I was giving birth to Bill's kid.

Now girlies, I am aware that there a numerous images of Bill displaying his godly forehead wrinkles. Some of them are so good, I don't know if it's my pussy that's wetter or it's my mouth.

Case study question: Why did I specifically select this image?

It's a no brainer really, my pussy gets wet instantly and I know this is the real deal, the masterpiece, my Salvatore Mundi.

Let's take a look at his hair. His hair looks so effortlessly perfect. The way the strand of hair draws down his forehead, just above his eye-brow is so immaculate. You can tell that he puts so much effort into taking care of his hair because of how effortlessly perfect it looks.

Now onto his jawline, cheeks and chin. He has the most flawless cheeks ever. When he doesn't smile, they lay back so perfectly and that brings out his perfect jawline, making it sharp enough to crack me open like a coconut. But when he does smile, they rise up so well and display his impeccable double chin. His chin is so well shaped that it smoothly keeps his immaculate facial structures intact and glorious.

His lips, they are a world of its own. I wouldn't mind being his lips, getting moistened and licked by his tongue every day. I will not delve into this anymore further because there will be an analysis on his lips soon. So I'll save all the goodness for later.

Let's look at his eyes. His eyes have the most unerring eye bags under them and in this image you can clearly see how perfect they are. We all know Bill has the world's most soulful eyes, so big and doe, they just make you want to cry in a sexual way. By the look in his eyes, and the lines on his face from his eyes to his forward, it clearly indicate that he is concerned but not in a good way. He is concerned about how he is going to manipulate his girlfriend. Also, you can see a little bit of impatience on his face in this image. If you watch the Clark film, you'll understand what I mean.

Now, finally to his wrinkles. They are so important in this image especially in this episode of the Clark mini series. Significance of it to this image is that it makes Bill look real. I've stated this before and I am saying it again, nothing is more attractive than a man with a natural face. His forehead wrinkles indicates to us that he is aging and that is the most beautiful thing in the world. Girl, his forehead wrinkles can wrinkle me up all the way to heaven.

The significance of this look in the image to the Clark mini series is that he perfectly displayed the look of a manipulative man. As already stated, his facial expressions displayed impatience, concern and irritability. My guy just came to see the girl and manipulate her to still love him. He did not come to see her and listen to what she has to say. And, Bill perfectly executes that in that scene.

Moreover, this image showed him in his natural state, meaning if he was not acting, this is what he would like on a daily basis, and that is super-hot! He looks scruffy, organic and humanly.

To conclude, wrinkles are beautiful and when they're on Bill Skarsgard's forehead, I go feral and insane. Those wrinkles makes him even more attractive. The Starry Night by Van Gogh might have you tripping but Bill's forehead wrinkles will have your pussy singing. So to the men that thinks women are rizzed by their overly masculine features, we're not. We like our men simple and comfortable like Bill Skarsgard.

Also, I would like to clarify that if you read this analysis as a body-shaming post, it is entirely the opposite. I love Bill Skarsgard and I find every bit of his body attractive, alluring and godly. I am aware of the social obsession with ageism but I actually prefer my man a bit older with a bit of grey hair, wrinkles, and 10 times more trauma from life than me.

[cookietrains]

Klown Headcanons: (Killer Klowns from Outer Space, 1988)

General Headcanons: 

(TW for this section of headcanons. There are mentions of Klowns killing people/ animals, topics of mating/ breeding brought up - not explicit) some of these headcanons melt into more observation territory, but I try to expand on what I've learned either by the film or game. Also, I'm new to the Killer Klowns world, I've always known about Killer Klowns, but it never seemed interesting to me until I saw the Klowns. They're absolutely adorable, and I would die for them.

Each Klown has their own choice of comedy, it's like their second language. This is also a significant way of finding mates amongst each other, trying to impress their partners with laughs. I will list the Klowns' different types of humor below when I talk about each individual Klown. 

Every Klown has their own unique ability, that they learn over time to perfect it/ make it stronger. These abilities are learned in their youth and it's unique to the one Klown who has it (a lot of powers are similar but no two abilities are the same) some abilities can be taught to other Klowns, some can't.  

Lackeys (from the game) are a thing on their planet and serve as the Earth equivalent as an intern. The Lackeys go on invasion missions to learn how to later in life take over planets. This category of Klowns are substantially younger than the main cast of Klowns that take over Earth. There can be older lackeys but it's not very common and they are more likely to be sent back home because they’re a bit too slow for the younger Klowns. Proving to be invaluable to the team. 

They need to be cold. It’s due to their atmosphere back on their planet. Their bodies have to be colder to survive. Their version of a cool 71°F is about 62° .Around 50-60 degrees, which is perfect for them.

Klowns do not need water. Unlike humans, Klowns can have water but it has zero nutritional value. Unless it had a good bit of sugar in it. Klowns get their main source of energy from sugar. Their choice of their main food being human is because human blood is the sweetest compared to creatures of different planets. Adding cotton candy sugars to melt them down is like adding 8 bags of sugar to a gallon of sweet tea. To a Klown however, it's like having 4 protein shakes. 

There are certain foods Klowns would either have a natural allergen to, or they would be very adverse to it. I think one of these foods would be fish. I think a big reason for them hating fish is because it wouldn't melt right in the cocoons and would ruin the flavor. It's hard to make a fish sweet. It would be wasteful to the cocoon materials. If they're not allergic to the food, giving them one of these foods would make them violently ill. I like to think if a food they eat has too much salt in it would have this effect.

Speaking of their food, they also enjoy hunting humans the most for the chase. Nothing runs quite like people when they are freaked out. This is where the sadistic side of the Klowns really show (Some more than others). It’s just fun for some of the Klowns to play around with their food before finally cocooning them. Also, as seen in the film, no one is safe. Children and pets included. They're especially disrespectful to law enforcement/ anyone they would deem their rulers. 

This is already alluded to in the film, but I really like the idea that Klowns have already been visiting Earth (and other planets) for centuries before the events of the film and this is where the idea of Earth clowns came from. I’d like to add other things some poor souls might have gotten ideas from because they escaped the Klowns would probably include balloons, cars, the circus in general, the idea of aliens. A variety of things have accidentally been introduced to humans by Klowns over the many, many years they've tried to kill them. 

There are dinosaurs on their planet (as seen in concept art from Charles Chiodo) . I think this is so cute. I love dinos !!! Gushing aside, I’d like to add to this also. I think they also have other extinct animals on their planet, like mermaids, unicorns, mammoths, dodos, ect. I also think they actually have cryptids on their planet and the Klowns are not the scariest things on their planet. Some Klowns keep these creatures as pets also and they take animals from other planets as souvenirs/ keep them as pets if they don’t die from the different atmosphere. 

There's various ways of having and raising their offspring on their planet. The babies can either be made in hoards in a breeding facility. The facility is mainly used for invasion trips, making plenty of eggs / popcorn babies for the Klowns to take on their trip to distribute across the invaded planets. The Klowns don’t look down on either which way their babies are made, but most Klowns (if they’re not planning on going on an invasion) they typically prefer to have one mate and their own set of offspring to themselves. They mate for life with only one partner and they have two options on raising their offspring. They can either raise them themselves, or they can be given to a care center, where there are Klowns who specialize in caring for the little Klowns of various stages. They sometimes also engage in child exchange - where the Klowns give their offspring to a couple who cannot naturally have offspring. 

All Klowns are like family. Towards other species, they are cold blooded and cruel, but to each other they treat all other Klowns like family. Sure there are fights, but it's usually quickly resolved. There just isn't any sense in their own species fighting or killing one another. Obviously Klown death happens by the hands of other Klowns, it’s just very rare and odds are it would happen by the hands of a higher ranked Klown.  

Klowns CAN pierce their skin, but very few have it done (Rosebud had her ears pierced, from what I could see) Tattoos aren't a thing for Klowns. I feel like if Klowns were gonna have tattoos, Spikey would have some. 

Each Klown has their own specific set of knowledge and interests when visiting other planets. Some of them, while hunting, also want to explore the amenities of their prey (Like when Shorty and Rudy were rummaging through the convenience store) and some of them want nothing more than to just wreak havoc (Spikey and Slim come to mind when I think of the more chaos causers’). 

I know it’s a common theory, but I personally do not believe the capturing of humans through the balloon method has anything to do with turning a human into a Klown. The balloon serves as a capture tactic, specifically towards women (as far as we see in the film), but there’s no concrete proof that Klowns are taking only female humans in balloons. And I definitely don’t think they’re using humans as anything other than food. Perhaps accessories or study purposes. I think balloons serve as a type of way to store humans (like how we put cold foods in the fridge or freezers). The balloon slowly suffocates the human, killing them. But there may also be a type of air in the balloon that marinates the human/ makes them taste a certain way they enjoy. (Yes, i know i made my oc a human turned Klown. It's still fun to play around with the ideas. And it’s an interesting concept, I just don’t think it’s logical to the film, ya know?)

Just like on their invasion trip in Crescent Cove, Klowns are just as clumsy and awkward on their own planet. Their movements are supposed to be looked at as silly and uncoordinated (as per a clown). There are some causes to their mobility, the air pressure between worlds being vastly different. 

On their planet they don’t have shelves or stores like human versions. So none of the Klowns have to worry about being clumsy and falling over things. 

They don’t have a set schedule for minor things like sleeping. If you’re tired, go to bed. In Rudy’s case, he takes small naps throughout the entire day. Like 20 minute naps every 3 or 4 hours. 

All Klowns' noses are severely sensitive. It's a bit of a bump in the road for them (Evolutionary wise) when the most important part of their anatomy that could immediately kill them is smack in the middle of their face. Their noses are sensitive, but hitting them on the nose won’t kill them immediately. It has to be the force of, say a bullet. A very powerful, quick force. Along with their nose, they are also sensitive to loud noises. 

I like the headcanon that the Klowns nuzzle their mate's nose as a sign of immense trust and bonding, that’s just a cute thought. I love it. I’d like to add to the headcanon that if a Klown obtains a mate, even early into the relationship, they instinctively cover each other's nose to protect them.

Klowns look a lot like their larva self. They are born with pre determined facial markings and a hairstyle, they just won't be more prominent until they get older.

Headcanons Relating to Specific Klowns: 

(These headcanons include general headcanons, romantic headcanons, hypotheticals all mixed into one) TW:// some entries may include NSFW implications, mentions of death or killing, creepy Klowns that murder. Mentions of depression and suicidal ideation (not explicit, but mentioned) 

Rudy:

In terms of his type of comedy, Rudy likes/ uses a mesh of dark comedy and dry humor. Very deadpan and oblivious to his own jokes but loves it when his mate uses it. He thinks it's hilarious. 

He loves saying things that would normally be enthusiastic, but he says them deadpan. Just totally uninterested. 

Personality wise I think Rudy likes to study things and take his time learning what he can. As seen from when he first encountered the ladies at the store, he’s just as much a prankster as his comrades, tricking the girls into thinking he was an animatronic. Very fast thinking on his part. In general, he's very patient and observational. 

He is very nonchalant about EVERYTHING. Big Top could be crashing and burning, but Rudy: 😑

Would be a goofy dad. “Are ya winning, son?” Always making modern references and his kid just looks at him like no plz dad ;; ur killing me. He loves his child though. Very protective, very affectionate towards them. Cuddles are reserved for his mate and baby only, obviously.

I love the headcanon Rudy is a sleepy little guy ;; Because it’s so true. Look at him, look at those eyes. Sleep deprivation eyes. 

Giving him coffee would most definitely not work on him. Not because he’s an alien life form, but because he has adhd. Rudy gives me major adhd vibes. He's so busy around the ship because he is forgetting things almost all the time due to this.

He likes to learn through television. He’ll get so invested in what’s on the screen, he’ll forget what he was doing in the moment (someone please let him know not to trust everything he hears on media) 

Is the most curious of the Klowns, being more interested in sitting in the background and watching, BUT-

Rudy, in his free time, also likes to move around and would love a partner who dances along with him randomly or sings with him. As seen in The Dickies’ music video, Rudy is actually kind of a “star of the show” type guy, despite being more reserved on hunts, not doing anything too insane.

This shows me Rudy values stealth in hunting. Being a trapper would require stealth and observation from afar. But outside hunts? Rudy is… well, a clown! He likes cutting back and having fun with his coworkers. 

Likes hanging out with Shorty and Bibbo specifically. I could see the 3 of them causing chaos at an amusement park, having a blast on the scarier rides and all three of them raiding the concession stands. 

If Rudy was to take an interest in anything humans created, it would be rubix cubes or puzzles in general. 

Works with babies on his planet so he’s very gentle and patient when teaching others things. He is very, very hard to upset or frustrate 

Would be a pro at pictionary, not because he can draw well but because he thinks outside the box quickly. 

The way he shows his mate appreciation is through gift giving. In his mind, his mate deserves the world, so Rudy goes out of his way getting things for his mate. Would do the thing where he would find a pretty rock on the ground and would give it to his mate because it reminded him of them. Very cute. He’s also very doting to his mate. Rudy’s love language is quality time. He loves spending time with his mate. He loves cuddling with them and spending time watching shows with them. 

He also really likes it when his mate remembers small things about him. He really appreciates their efforts to think about his interests. 

I feel like Rudy would enjoy long story shows or shows he can get invested in with his mate and stick with it for a while. Shows like Grey's Anatomy, Criminal Minds, Game of Thrones. Honestly with Rudy, the more dramatic the show the better.

Spikey: 

Type of humor: Spikey uses more low brow humor. He says out of pocket things for the sake of being funny. Being a Klown, most of it is funny, it’s just random and out there.

Theater Kid Energy and a thrill seeker. The amusement park rides are not enough in terms of excitement to him. Direct him to the nearest 350 ft rollercoaster where you have to lay down (eugh… just thinking of that has me 😵‍💫)

Spikey, like Rudy, would love a mate who would randomly dance with him. He's not too much of a singer, but if you like to sing and you sing to him, even if it's “not the best” he would melt because of your voice.

Would not be interested in being a parent. The idea to him never looked appealing. He’s just not father material in his own eyes.

If by chance, Spikey ended up having a child and his mate was adamant on keeping it, he would be extremely doubtful of himself. Constantly questioning if he’s doing something wrong and terrified he would accidentally hurt his child. He ends up being the BEST parent. These are just internal thoughts that scare him. He’s very doting to his mate and child, always making sure all their needs are met and spoiling his little family. After a while, these thoughts would leave Spikey’s head and he would be a more confident parent. 

Would 100% do puppet shows for his child to calm them down and watch cartoons with them. 

Isn’t depressed but has thought of death more than once in life. Wouldn’t say he’s depressed at least. He’s just interested in the thought of what happens after they die? Klowns don’t really have a “God” per say… so I think a lot of Klowns would go through this thought process at least once. 

Is immune to being sick. Man has never thrown up in his life. 

^ From the previous point, he would be bitter about never being sick. Would feel excluded and would definitely ask “Am I Not Good Enough To Be Sick?? >:I 

He wants to be the surprising one out of the bunch and makes a big deal out of everything. In almost a cry for attention sort of way.  

He would be the most caring lover out of all the Klowns. Spikey gives off touch starved energy to me. He makes it up with his comedy type and being a lapdog to his mate. Constantly following them and making sure everything is okay all the time. Spikey is the type of partner to give his mate a goofy grin and wave from across the room, even if you've been together for years. Never leaves the puppy love phase for his mate. 

If he knew what it was, Spikey would love any sort of action video game. Some games I feel like he would enjoy are Contraband Police, GTA 5, Maneater, Outlast and Resident Evil. He would surprisingly be scared shitless out of the scarier games, but wouldn't admit to it. 

IS A TERRIBLE DRIVER. Do not let this man behind the wheel of ANY vehicle! Invisible or otherwise. Would treat street signs as checkpoints.

At home, he has like 10 exotic pets. At least one of them being a balloon animal that he was too proud of to let go. Don’t worry, he’s a really good animal dad.

On occasion Spikey really likes eating bananas. He HAS to leave the peel just lying around so he can watch someone else's downfall. Literally. 

Would be a huge cuddle bug. He wouldn’t want offspring but he would worship his mate. 

And he isn’t shy about showing others he’s in love. He’s all over his mate anywhere they go. Whether that’s cuddles, holding hands, kisses, scalp massages, shoulder rubs. If his mate is uncomfortable with PDA, he can learn to tone it down. But it must be made up in private, he just wants to be so close to his mate. Touch starved asshole. 

Does Drugs recreationally (loves if his mate joins him, but wouldn't love them any less if they didn't of course) 

If you can make him laugh, he’s putty in your hands. OR vice versa, if he really likes you and likes your laugh, he’ll be yours forever. He's a sucker for cut loose laughs. Ya know those unhinged, crazed laughs you can't control? It's his way of knowing you're comfortable enough with him to ugly laugh with him.

Gentle Hands! He has to have gentle hands to do the types of complex balloon animals he does and does not let his gifts go to waste on just the balloon animals, if you catch my drift. 

Cross dresses sometimes. He does not give a single shit about beauty standards, Klown or otherwise. ( I saw fem Spikey, now I suddenly have a huge crush on Spikey thnx ) 

In terms of being a mate, Spikey is very theatrical. In both the romantic sense and just being over the top in general. He makes a lot of grand gestures towards his mate.  

He loves cuddling and watching shows with his mate. He likes more comedic shows that will have him and his mate in stitches. He's not above watching cartoons, this man adores SpongeBob you can't tell me he doesn't. He gives off that he would enjoy movies like the Jurassic Park series (ya know what? If there's a monster in it, he's watching it), Godzilla, Eight Legged Freaks. 

Shorty: 

He Loves slapstick humor. Shorty loves it when a joke has been building up and he can see the outcome from a mile away but then when the joke happens it's funnier than you expect. Found his love for this type of comedy through accidentally watching a whole episode of Looney Toons.  

Absolutely uses his size to his advantage when hunting humans, knowing most of them have a soft spot for smaller creatures. Also uses this to his advantage in terms of being able to fit into smaller spaces (Pizza Box Scene). He loves popping out of places nobody expects him to be and I find that hilarious. 

Being a bit smaller than the others also gives him a few extra points for speed.

He canonically smells like pepperoni pizza, Sour candy and death. This is interesting, and I think this is a hunting tactic he uses. Covering himself with the scent of pepperoni pizza and candy, but his natural scent being death because he’s constantly killing people. 

I actually think Shorty would enjoy pizza and sour candy… together. He would like the most outlandish foods put together. Like peanut butter and mustard. 

Shorty, as a mate, would find the cutesy, cheesy stuff really sweet and endearing. Like late night walks in a beautiful place, being on the Farris wheel with his mate, cuddling up to them if they're scared. 

Shorty shows a lot of curious tendencies and likes tagging along with Rudy to check out places on their invasions. He steals some of Rudy’s souvenirs. 

Shorty and Rudy, on these trips, have become the best of friends. 

He loves niche things like paintings of dogs playing poker. Do they really do that? Are they broken when he sees them? Who thought of this?? 

He loves car shows, BUT make them clown cars. Can it throw pies? Does the beep sound funny? He’s in love. 

Will not tolerate bullies. In any scenario. He’s always rooting for the underdog. 

Shorty is the Klown that would love to have kids and would be a good parent

He loves having someone around who wants to be with him just as much. Shorty brings his kids everywhere with him (unless it's dangerous of course) 

Has a softer spot for animals than the rest of the Klowns, he thinks they're fascinating. Like birds and turtles are his faves. 

When it comes to movies or tv, Shorty really appreciates the beauty of the film. Things like the new Super Mario Movie comes to mind. He loves movies like that! Bouncy, bright and fun. 

Jumbo: 

Type of comedy for Jumbo is wordplay. He loves him a good pun, dad jokes are his weakness. Old school jokes are dear to him and he has a huge soft spot for them. 

Huge father figure to the main group, he lives for these invasion trips with “the boys”. 

He doesn't pick favorites, but out of everyone he talks to Slim the most 

Jumbo tolerates very little nonsense. Despite this, he is not easy to piss off. He’s spent a lot of time on the Big Top with Jojo and knows how to train his Klown comrades to catch and kill prey. 

Jumbo is the most conniving of all the Klowns. He is extremely vengeful and loves finding the pain of his prey funny. 

He doesn’t really like animals other than to eat. He needs sugar to live, but he prefers the chewy texture of the meat in his prey.  

Is the least emotional of the Klowns. He just doesn't have the time of day to care about miniscule problems. However, if he notices a Klown genuinely going through a hard time, Jumbo is one of the first Klowns to notice and take action. He’s a good listener and is good at lending some good advice. 

Best dad, in terms of making sure his child is safe. Wouldn’t be super interested in actively playing with his child, or watching their shows with them. But if his kid had a bully, he would be the first to know and the last to see the bully. But nobody’s gonna say anything. You even look at his child (or mate for that matter), he would show his frustrations with action. Protectively guarding his family, growling at the threat, mallet in hand to pummel them. 

Is not an animal person, would rather have a child than a pet. Sees pets as pointless. 

He doesn’t really have any interest in human made things, and wouldn't really like watching TV or digging through shops of any kind. 

He loves the chase for his prey, if he had a mate that would probably be his go to quality time. Or time in a familiar place to him, like the amusement park or a circus. 

He would show his mate he loved them by gift giving. He isn’t the most romantic Klown, but rest assured he absolutely loves his mate. 

Being one of the older Klowns, Jumbo has been on more invasion trips than the rest of the Klowns, so he knows the ropes of the hunt and the ship and teaches the other Klowns how to act towards Jojo. “Do Not Bother Him, Please”, is his advice. 

To some, Jumbo comes off as an intimidating being, but not to fear! He’s actually quite sweet. He loves his Klown comrades. When he finds out Klowns are on their first time invasion trip, he might give them a small celebratory gift. 

Is the closest to Jojo, reporting to him sometimes and they chat casually from time to time. Jumbo has known Jojo long enough to know what makes him tick, when to leave the room so he doesn’t bother him and what Jojo expects of his crew. 

Jumbo’s love language is HUGS. He loves to cuddle with his mate. He really is a big teddy bear. 

Has an interest in the fun house aesthetic. Ball pits, Balloons, Rainbow cake. He loves all of it. 

Would enjoy older cartoons that used to come on saturday mornings (Tom and Jerry, Spongebob, Looney Toons)

Very plays it safe. Jumbo, while violent and creative during hunts, normally doesn’t do things out of the ordinary unlike a lot of his buddies on the ship. 

Secretly has a deep fascination with human sports. Would never admit it, but Jumbo loves how divided people get over teams and how violent it can get. 

He could watch humans fight forever. It’s amusing to him. Why do they do this? 

Slim: 

His main type of comedy is a mix between ironic humor and satire. I feel like Slim would vibe with adult swim cartoons (Family Guy, American Dad,..The Simpsons) not cartoon network but he would like Parks and Rec, too. The first scene where Leslie falls down the hill.. when everyone told her to be careful, but she kept saying I'm a professional, something like that would take Slim out. 

The third oldest on the Big Top (right after Jojo and Jumbo) 

Is more stern than Spikey, but definitely more lenient than Jumbo or Jojo. 

During the movie, it would be Slim’s seventh trip to Earth. He has fond memories of chasing and killing humans and offering the landing spot up to Jojo. Knowing the land a bit, Slim goes out with Jumbo to inspect the area before the invasion starts. 

Is one of the more physically strong Klowns. Can easily pick up things 3 times his weight. 

Finds more of an interest in human made circuses than the other Klowns, liking that they got the Klown aspects so close. He often wonders to himself how the humans that got away saw so much before escaping

It’s a bit tougher to kill Slim by his nose. No one is really sure why this is. 

He’s actually really a fighter when it comes to himself. He’s a tough cookie and will NOT die easily. 

When it comes to aim, Slim is horrible at aiming weapons/ projectiles. 

Slim really likes the creepy forest aesthetic. His favorite holiday tradition would probably be haunted hay rides through spooky forests on Halloween. He wouldn’t sit through one, but they're fun in theory… could use more mallets in his opinion. 

Secretly, he would enjoy reality shows (like a Klown version though, he has no interest in human issues) 

Has a morbid curiosity towards true crime shows. But does not have the patience to sit through the whole story, so he’ll fast forward through just to see what happened. Does that thing where he HAS to know what happens at the end of things, but is very short in patience. Slim has things to do, he doesn't have time to wait! 

Is a master at shadow puppetry, knowing how to entrance his prey with whimsical shadow art and capturing them in said puppets. This trick of his he just learned recently, liking the idea of showing off his new skills. 

Personality wise, Slim is one of the more straightforward Klowns on the ship. He runs as a second in command and sometimes lets the power go to his head. 

As a mate, Slim is very unique. Almost as high energy as Spikey, but as strict as Jumbo. He takes his work very seriously but has his moments where he cuts back and jokes around with everyone. Wild Card. 

Is a bit rougher with his mate, but he doesn’t mean any malice with it. He is more protective than the other Klowns but likes to play around with his mate. He knows when to be serious with his mate. When he gets serious, he’s much more affectionate and careful with them. 

Technologically the smartest Klown. He helps make the weapons they bring on the invasion. 

He has a friendship with Spikey that’s very hot and cold. Sometimes they get along, other times they fight. Spikey doesn’t always agree with Slim’s points of authority. Slim doesn't always like how childish and dramatic Spikey is. 

Has a lot of fun while hunting, like the other Klowns, this is a very therapeutic thing for him. 

Also really likes monster movies, Slim would like more comedic horror monster movies though. Like Tremors, Eight Legged Freaks, Jaws, Gremlins.

Has a deep, irrational fear of trains. Man finds it super unsettling that they stop for nothing and they scream at you 

He likes to act tough, so he would never say out loud that he’s afraid of anything. 

Slim loves sunglasses. He likes darker spaces because his eyes are a bit sensitive. 

When it comes to kids, Slim would think he would be a terrible parent, and would be. He wouldn’t be the worst parent, but he would be like “this thing is my kid? Why the hell does it make so much noise??” He would be willing to work together with his mate and they would be a power parent couple, but him by himself? He would be so awkward. 

Now, this does not mean he would be a total chaos dad, he has little moments where he’s unintentionally very sweet with his child. And when the baby gets older is when Slim truly shines. Him and his kids are inseparable! They’re best friends when the kid hits the tween area. 

Fatso: 

His comedy type is the type of humor that would get a little kid laughing. He likes slapstick, cringe humor. Someone tripping on something, or the banana peel gag, Fatso loves it! 

Is the most reserved of the Klowns. 

He is secretly a romantic guy, but secretly! He doesn't want his buddies thinking he’s weak. 

He finds some human things interesting. Like their ability to put things together and it doesn’t taste terrible? Witch craft. A doughnut burger? He’s drooling. 

Is not shy about eating human made foods. He likes pies, has a soft spot for chocolate and sweeter pastries. He gets cravings for chocolate, but his favorite flavoring is a toss up between strawberry and cherry. Something about the tart flavors. 

He loves birthdays! Sometimes they invite clowns to the party? That's so touching ;; and birthday cake is a masterpiece. He hates fondant though.

Speaking of foods he dislikes, he hates peanut butter, I would even go as far as to say Fatso is allergic to peanut butter. To him it’s got this chalky texture and it grosses him out. It’s hard for him to swallow. 

Gives great cuddles and is very sweet to his mate. Could take naps with his mate forever. And loves just doing things with them. Invite him places! He adores following his mate into little shops and watching his mate look at/ pick things out of the stores. Or whatever they're doing that day, he’s an active follower. He’s also a very good listener, if you want to just sit at a resting spot and talk about your day. 

He likes small, cute animals. He can’t help himself. Baby ducks? Adorable. I could absolutely see Fatso holding a baby duckling gently and petting it with one finger ;; such a sweet boy. This doesn’t take away from the fact he will eventually eat the animal he thinks is cute. 

He gets his species' version of seasonal depression. He volunteers for invasion trips all the time because the trips relieve his symptoms a bit. 

Fatso is the most emotional of the Klowns. This could be brought on by his depression but it’s not entirely clear. But the other Klowns make it clear they are there for him and talk to him about it. It’s not the same as having a mate and being able to talk to them, but it’s still nice and he’s grateful for his friends. 

Hates thinking ahead. He lives in the moment and likes to have fun now, not later. Spikey and Slim (when they’re chill with each other) are very good at taking Fatso out of his own head for a bit and taking him out on the town for fun times. 

Despite his condition, Fatso does not let his emotions get to him! He’s the sweetest (well.. As sweet a Killer Klown could be..) and he likes to have fun. 

Has a sweet spot for high stakes cooking shows. They hypnotize him and they take his mind off things. 

Things he would look for in a mate would include the ability to show him he matters and he is fun to be around. His love language would fall under the categories Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch. He loves cuddles and being close to his mate. 

These were fun to do and I might add more at a later date ^^ If you have any questions or requests, I’ll do my best to reply (I struggle with wanting to throw everything I write into a bin after I've crumpled it lol)

[jacenotjason]

OK this will be an extremely long ask i am sorry. i love radford

i havent sent an ask to people in years but i am one of the radford fans of all time and demonic possession is a fun concept to me, so the idea of gadreel possessing him specifically makes me INSANE

i just think itd work extremely well. radford doesnt take anything seriously and doesnt understand boundaries, but he always puts his concern for others first and his well-being last. he annoys father gregor and compares him to priests hes seen in the movies, and he does spray holy water + offer free candy against kevins wishes, but he also warns rick about the trouble he could get himself into when not giving the right movie tickets, and helps kevin with his job with no pay in mind. hes annoying, but his heart is in the right place

but gadreel is the Ultimate Prankster. him trying to imitate radford would backfire Hard, because gadreels idea of fun is,, More Extreme. he allows kids to enter adult films, he steals candy and says its fine since hes friends with kevin, he tells his friends and brother to break the rules and disrespect authority, etc etc. im unsure what gadreels motives are other than to ruin everyones day, but hes doing a damn good job at it. all the blame is going to radford, and honestly, its just So Easy to blame him for it

i imagine it takes a while for most people to figure out that somethings wrong with radford. he does what he wants freely, wherever and whenever, so these mistakes could be rationalized by him having an off-day. i assume rad would look extremely tired after a days long session of gadreel torturing him (because he loves pushing the human body. bill cipher behavior). but i think what makes everyone truly concerned is when "radford" starts involving Others in his antics

it isnt like rad to encourage bad behavior. he would never tell rick to swap the prices of two items at his new job, or tell robert the best blind spots to steal from stores, or forcing kevin to take his anger out on someones property. the radford everyone knows is ditzy, but kindhearted. if theres trouble, radford would be the only perpetrator

and god, imagine how much worse it gets if "radford" gets in trouble with the police. john would be frustrated seeing his own nephew be so careless and cruel all of a sudden. itd probably even make him spiral and assume the cult had something to do with it, and that john and his family arent safe like he thought. and i think gadreel relishes in that knowledge

im also so curious as to how gadreel and radford met and how long the possession lasted, maybe it was a week? in my head, he came to radford in the form of a snake before revealing his true self and attacking, leaving no time for rad to fully process it and run away. i also assume skid and pump will have some involvement, and pumps eyes turning blue will be a clear sign that "radford" is associated with a demonic entity, or Is one. either way i love gadreels character being a "twisted" version of radfords if that makes sense

so um ya sorry for the longest ask ever. heres a drawing

OPOOOHMYGOHMOSIEJHIOSRHGIUSADHRUITGHSDUIGSDB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE AWESOME!??!?!?!?!? FUCK OK OKAYAKOAJTYAOKATY THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS IS SO COOL

THANK YOU FOR THE DRAWING, EATING IT, YOUR POINTS ARE ALL CORRECT

Unlike Moloch whose possessions are more brutal and obvious, Gadreel hides and youre so right! Hes here for the long haul babey!!

yes i imagine the possession lasted about a week, week and a half. Gadreel can't feel pain (at least Radfords pain i mean, he has a higher pain tolerance, as a demon yknow) so he could very well accidentally snap a bone as Radford and not even notice. What im saying is Rad is hospitalized afterwards

AUGHHH the police thing. Gadreel sees the cops and WANTS to get caught by them, just for goofs. in a "Oh what would happen if i did this :)" way.

GOD THIS IS SO COOL YOURE LITERALLY THE BEST

OH!! AND ON THE SUBJECT OF HOW RAD AND GADREEL MET !!

Instead of possessing Patty in the morgue, Gadreel took the form of a snake and.... left lmao. or got noticed and thrown out bc oh my god a snake

he ended up near the candyclub and radford was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Gadreel saw Radford as a hiding place and a means to have fun.

I imagine Moloch doesnt care about what his vessels look like, meanwhile Gadreel won't possess someone if he thinks theyre lame. like yeah he couldve possessed patty but then he would've had to.... do stuff. eugh. This guy looked WAY more fun.

im actually vibrating yourel iterally the coolest dawg.

[obligatoryidolblog]

Casting Call (Seonghwa One Shot)

Genre: smut, kinda silly

Pairing: Seonghwa/reader

Warnings: unprotected sex, sex work industry, oral, cum eating, premature ejaculation

Summary: Seonghwa is on the receiving end of of one hell of an offer while on the street. He definitely got more than he bargained for, but perhaps it is all worth it.

A/N: This is a complete rewrite and rework of a blurb I wrote before.

How the hell had he gotten himself into this? Seonghwa licked his dry lips, his heartbeat racing as he looked in the mirror at his oiled, bared torso. Everything had happened so fast. Only a few hours ago he had been perusing the stalls at an outdoor market, laughing at the screen of his phone as he facetimed his friend, showing the sillier counterfeit items and poor translations. 

He hadn’t had the chance to end the facetime call when the woman had approached him, and that had been his big mistake. Once his best friend heard the woman ask him if he would be willing to be in a film they were shooting, he knew he wouldn’t be allowed to say no. And then the addition of it being an… adult film? The tinny laughter from his phone speaker was all it took to goad him into saying yes. 

At least he chose to remember it that way. It was easier than accepting and unpacking the idea that her words, her daring eyes, her lingering light touch on his forearm, all had him ready to say yes to whatever she had asked, already feeling a stir in his groin of blood rushing at the feline curl to her lips when she mentioned that she was choosing her partner for the ‘film’ herself this time, as part of the concept. She had chosen him. And lord above, that made him hard. He was more than ready as she took his hand, leading him towards a large building a few blocks back. He had rung off the facetime call with flushing cheeks, red ears, and a cocky smile. 

After leading him in, the woman had left him with a man who was introduced as the director, and it had all gone sideways from there, the sexy intrigue lost to the cold reality that he had agreed to fuck her on camera for the world to see. What if his mother found out about this? He had been led to a sterile, cold room to be tested for STDs, informed that this concept had no room for condoms, and his blood pressure had skyrocketed as the needle pierced his skin, akin to the reality pricking along his spine. Seonghwa was a careful man. Never had he fucked a woman raw. So many firsts in one day. 

His hands had started to tremble when he was taken to a dressing room, and an older woman with a matronly figure and smile told him to strip. This was no longer sexy in any way. She continued to give him that grandmother’s grin, telling him to not be shy, she was going to help him get ready, and he was certain that he had never been more shriveled at the idea of a woman asking him to disrobe ever in his life. Slowly, he pulled off his shirt, and the sweet older woman’s smile-lined eyes went sharp as she stepped up and began fussing over the slight dusting of body hair that marked his well-built body. 

He began tugging down his jeans with a reddened face, but froze when she spun and called for wax. But she was nothing if not efficient. Before he could make another noise, she had him stripped fully, laid on a table, and was running warm wax over his torso and down to the base of his cock. Thankfully he had kept himself neatly trimmed around the base, which they deemed acceptable. The warm wax felt almost comforting for a moment. Then the smiling woman grasped one lifted edge and yanked. Seonghwa was pretty sure he levitated off the table she had him laid on. 

The rest of the preparation was a haze after that, being oiled, his hair styled, makeup lightly applied. None of that could break through the pure fucking elation he felt that his balls weren’t going to be treated to the torture of waxing. The haze lifted as he stood looking into this mirror, wondering what the hell had just happened. He hadn’t even seen the woman who had enticed him into this since she left him with the director. He wasn’t so sure she was worth all this, no matter how hot she had been. 

After a long moment, the director called him to set. He stepped under the hot lights, looking at the bed in front of him that looked far too normal, far too much like any hotel room, and felt the oil on his skin begin to sizzle. A small laugh sounded from behind him, and he turned to find her. That woman stood in front of him, wrapped in a towel similar to the one he had draped around his hips, and suddenly, yeah. She was worth it. Fucking hell, was she worth it. Her makeup was almost imperceptible, her skin glowing under the lights, her body showing natural curves holding up the towel as she smiled at him with that sense of promise once more. 

“Okay,” the director called, stepping up to them and clapping his hands together, drawing Seonghwa’s attention away from the angel before him. “I don’t think anyone has explained the concept for this scene to you. I know you’re an amateur, so let’s clarify a few things and set some ground rules.”

Nodding, Seonghwa tried to give the most professional image he could while standing in nothing but a towel and coated in oil with his dick starting to stir to life. The eyes on him had surprisingly not made him nervous; in fact he felt a thread of excitement work its way through his veins at the thought of all these people watching him fuck this woman. That was… new. 

“So,” the director went on, “We are a newer production company, and we pride ourselves in specializing in making content specifically for the softer viewer. We do not make the pump-and-dump spectacles that are the norm. This starts with our star, and she is our star in every way, choosing her mate. She will be in control of every bit of this scene, understood?”

A shot of excitement ran through Seonghwa at these words, unfamiliar to him but drawing more blood to his hardening cock. He nodded quickly, giving her a shy smile. He had always been the one in control in sexual situations, but the idea of handing over that power to this woman had need rushing through his veins. 

“Good,” the director replied with a nod of his own, “This will be simple. It will not be fast, it will not be violent, unless she wishes it. Now, as an amateur, a few rules.”

Trying to focus on this through the lust riding him, lest he fuck up, Seonghwa chewed his lower lip. 

“First, you only touch what she tells you to. Second, we want you to be vocal. No hiding moans, no trying to be stoic. The viewers want to hear you. Third, most importantly,” the director looked stern here, “You don’t finish until we are ready to film it. If you get close, you will signal to us and we will pause until you can go again. Got it?”

A shaky inhale was followed by a rough, “Got it.”

Lord, he hoped he could make good on that. The idea of edging himself with this woman over and over was almost more than he could take. The concept of edging had never held much appeal to him before, but now? Fuck, he was already so hard. And the woman next to him saw the growing tent in his towel and giggled, then gave him a reassuring smile. 

“I think he’s got it,” she said to the director, then turning to take his now shaking hand, drawing him to the bed. 

He wondered if she could hear his heart pounding as she dropped her towel, her ass coming into view, and then turning to give him a smile so deceptively innocent that he almost forgot that she was nude and about to fuck him. Warm hands landed gently on the towel gripped tightly in his fist, and she asked with her eyes if she could remove it. Swallowing his nerves, he nodded, letting go. Distantly, he heard the director calling for action, heard people beginning the business of filming, but his entire focus was on the woman before him winking, pleased at his acquiescence. The towel was slowly unwound from his hips, and his twitching cock appeared, precum pearling at the tip.

His eyes dropped closed, head falling back as she slid a hand down his slick torso to the base of his dick, gripping it finally. All at once he found himself fully appreciating the waxing of his skin, the fresh skin sensitive to her light touch. But all of that was washed away in the pleasure of her oiled hand sliding over the shaft of his cock. Fuck. He should’ve jerked off at least once before this, to stave off cumming so fast. Her skilled hand slid over his reddened tip and he bit back a curse, moaning loudly and fisting his hands to keep from gripping her wrist.

“I-” he bit out, feeling his cheeks flame, “I need a minute. Just… fuck.”

She chuckled softly and he kept his eyes shut, not wanting to see her laugh at him for already being on the edge of cumming. Her hand moved to cup his balls, and he felt her step closer, her breasts brushing at his chest, nearly unmanning himself. 

“I think he needs to prep,” she called, he assumed to the director, “He’s a sensitive one. Let me help him out real fast.”

Seonghwa’s eyes popped open at that and he found her giving him that curled, feline smile once more as the director sighed, waving a hand and saying, “Go ahead. It’ll save us from having to run so many takes.”

Before Seonghwa could grasp what was happening the woman had turned him, shoving him to the bed. She crawled up him, and his head threw back once more as her lips left a burning trail up from his hips to his ear. 

“I want to enjoy this. You’re not the only one that is excited,” she murmured into his ear, leaving hot kisses up his neck, his back bowing as her thighs straddled his hips, the soft flesh holding him still. 

Sitting up, she slid her hands over his chest, biting her lip as she took in the sight of him below her, hunger apparent. The view of her atop him, knowing she had chosen him out of all the other men walking the streets of this part of the city, knowing that she wanted this as much as he did, had Seonghwa rutting up, lost in the need to bury himself into her. She took one of his wrists in her warm hand and pulled it to the juncture of her thighs, running his fingertips over her folds, wetting them with her desire. He moaned, feeling how wet she already was, how her clit rubbed roughly against his fingers, her head tipping back as he moaned out her pleasure at being touched. 

Precum slid down the shaft of his cock at the sound, his hips grinding the hard length against her ass, and she took the hint, running his hand up her slick torso, over her breast, up to her neck, then slipping his wet fingers in her mouth. As he grunted at the heat of her mouth engulfing his digits, she raised up, and gripped his cock, angling it and lowering herself onto him. His hips jerked, burying deep into her as he cried out at the tight pressure of her around his length. 

“I… I won’t last long,” he cried out desperately, shame lost to the sheer fucking heaven of her pussy cradling him deep in her.

She replied with a hard suck to his fingers, then placed them back to her clit, demanding, “Get me off, too.”

He rubbed wet circles on her clit, biting out curses as she began to ride him sinuously, her body writhing atop him, her hips working serpentine magic as he felt himself hit every part of her insides. Fuck. He was going to cum, and cum hard. Pride and gratefulness gripped him, and he opened his eyes to find her running her hands over her body, cupping her own breasts then sliding up to lift her hair from her neck, her head tipping back. The pure carnality of her tipped him, and he found himself thrusting up into her, his fingers on her clit moving faster, finding the spots that made her quake above him and working them. 

Before long, he felt her begin to tighten around him, and he bit his lip hard, gathering every bit of willpower to not break the rules, to not flip them both and pound into her with abandon, fuck the hot cum boiling up from his balls deep into her. Instead, he gripped her hip with the hand not furiously working her now twitching clit, and angled her to hit her spot with each thrust. Frantically, she rode him faster, and all control was lost. Seonghwa bowed off the bed, his hips thrusting up into her as deep as he could go as he unloaded himself into her, his hot cum hitting the deepest parts of her, drawing a shudder through her body. She clamped down around him, cumming hard in tandem with him, the clenching of her milking more cum from him than he ever thought possible. 

He felt their mixed juices pool beneath him as the high of his orgasm began to fade, and faster than he wanted, she lifted off of him. He only had a moment to mourn the loss of her heat, though. She crawled up him, placing her dripping opening at his lips, her breath coming fast still.

“Clean it up,” she murmured in a breathless voice, gripping his hair, “Get all that cum out.”

He felt a hard groan come from deep in his chest at her words, and before he could second guess it at all, his mouth attached to her, his tongue sliding into her still clenching sheathe, gathering their combined cum, not even registering the taste, lost in the pure experience. He barely registered a set of warm hands wiping his cock clean and stroking it slowly back to hardness. All he could focus on was the warm slick of her sliding across his lips, the taste of his cum and hers as he used lips and tongue to clean her fully. Alternating between licking deep into her walls, his lips pressing against her in the most intimate kiss, and working his mouth over her clit, sucking gently at it, he felt her begin to shake above him, her orgasm rising again through the overstimulation. 

Taking the chance, he placed his hands on her thighs, holding her to him as he feverishly ate her out, bringing her to orgasm once more with a hard suck to her clit, then fucking into her shivering opening with his tongue as he rode out her climax, drawing it out as much as he could. When she finally lifted herself from his hungry mouth, he looked up to find her staring down at him in wonder, seeming entranced by the sight of his face coated in her release. 

“I knew I chose well, but damn,” she murmured, the sounds of the filming around them returning to his reddening ears as she slid off of him, falling to lay next to him, panting, trying to catch her breath. 

A shy smile of triumph that graced his lips was turned into a choked giggle as the voice of the director called out, “Okay guys, that was hot and we got it all on film. But can we get back to the concept?”

[kleinergeist]

Some TCODC headcanons/interpretations and stuff (Mostly Jane and Cesare)

(Warnings: mentions of abuse, including starvation)

- Jane and Francis both end up in the asylum after the events of the film. Caligari is still the director. Either he somehow framed someone else to maintain his position of power, or him being caught was the only part of the story made up by Francis. Idk, I'm still figuring out how to piece the two endings together.

- Jane's delusion of being a queen manifested as a response to her very limited control over her own life. It only really became noticeable to others after her attempted abduction. Her parents begrudgingly sent her to the asylum after it became impossible to hide. She doesn't remember her previous identity for the most part, but some days are better than others.

- Cesare survives collapsing from exhaustion. I'm still working out exactly how, but he eventually ends up back in the asylum, though under a different name. Without Caligari controlling him, he spends most of his time awake now. Meanwhile, Caligari is waiting for the opportunity to bring him back under his control without making the other doctors suspicious.

- Jane befriends Cesare in the asylum. Neither of them of them fully remember the other but have a vague feeling of having met before, as if in a dream. She appoints him as her "royal advisor." Together, they try to find out what happened before they arrived here (and what exactly the asylum director's deal is.)

- Poor Francis is having an awful time. He's the only one who knows who Caligari really is and the only one of his friends who remembers Alan's murder, and no one believes him. Having to see the man who (albeit unwillingly) killed his friend every day certainly isn't helping matters. Eventually, he hesitantly joins Jane and Cesare in their quest to find out what's really going on (and hopefully escape). He's still very suspicious of Cesare, though.

- Caligari enjoys touching Cesare (as seen at various points in the film). However, he dislikes feeding him or really anything that reminds him that he's a human being. He prefers to think of Cesare as a puppet without bodily needs or functions. For this reason, he tends to put off feeding him for as long as possible.

- Cesare, consequently, has an unusual relationship with food. He eats all kinds of inedible stuff when Caligari's back is turned; paper, bugs, his fingernails, splinters of wood from his box, really anything he can get his hands on. Someone at the carnival gave him a toffee apple once, and he ate it so quickly he got sick.

- Caligari has taught himself Italian (specifically a 18th century Northern dialect) and Latin. He's tried to teach these to Cesare too, with some degree of success. Sometimes while "predicting" a future at the carnival, Cesare will randomly start muttering in Latin.

- Caligari has collected a few different outfits for Cesare, including a black and white harlequin costume and a ghostly Victorian style nightshirt. He likes to play around with his hair and makeup, too.

- Cesare has a really hard time adjusting to normal (or relatively normal) life in the asylum. He's awake now, but he has no idea how to look after himself. He forgets to eat for long periods of time if nobody reminds him. His sleep pattern is irreversibly altered. Initially, he doesn't even know how to wash or dress himself.

- Gender, sexuality and romantic attraction are foreign concepts to Cesare. Jane doesn't really experience romantic attraction either, much to Francis's dismay.

- Jane hates being touched. So does Cesare most of the time, but he's kind of like a cat; if he randomly decides that he wants affection, he's holding your sleeve or resting his head on your shoulder and there's nothing you can do about it. Of course, he only does this with people that he trusts (i.e., Jane). It takes her some time to get used to it.

- Jane has a lot of empathy for animals considered unlikable by most. She's definitely been scolded by her parents before for catching a spider in her hands to release it outside.

- She also loves collecting stuff. Rocks, porcelain, bones, flowers, really anything that strikes her fancy. She hides a lot of her treasures in drawers and under her bed because her parents don't approve. The habit continues while she's in the asylum and is picked up by Cesare. They share and exchange trinkets like a pair of crows. The flowers Cesare is holding at the end of the film are a gift from Jane.

It's a bit messy (and poor Alan hardly gets a mention) but there it is. Maybe someday I'll write a story.

@sixty-silver-wishes :)

[robsheridan]

Poster for the unproduced 1984 live-action horror adaptation GARFIELD: FIRST BLOOD.

Following the success of CUJO in 1983, studios were scrambling to find the next hit “killer pet” flick. Notorious grindhouse auteur Ron Sharleton, seeking a big-budget movie deal to fund his struggling production of CANNIBAL QUARTERBACK 2, set his sights on the most unlikely of properties: Jim Davis’ beloved comic strip Garfield. Sharleton, a self-proclaimed fan of Garfield who called the strip “a subversive celebration of misanthropy,” believed an “alternative, adult” spin on the character could thrive in tandem with its kid-friendly cartoons. Describing his rationale in an interview later, Sharleton said: “You have all of these R-rated films that come out and become big hits and the studios want to suck every penny out of one idea, so they sanitize it and repackage it as a cartoon for kids. So I said, why can’t we do the reverse?”

GARFIELD: FIRST BLOOD was pitched as a dark, gritty reimagining in which the titular cat, pushed to the brink on a particularly bad Monday, finally snaps and kills Jon’s dimwitted dog Odie. As he tastes Odie’s blood, Garfield is overcome by how good it felt to put a permanent end to something that annoyed him. He then realizes that everything and everyone annoy him, and his murderous rampage begins.

Describing his take on the character, Sharleton said: “Garfield never really sat right with me as a children’s character. He’s so much darker, more complex. You have this cat who is filled with contempt; he looks at the world around him with radical skepticism and scowls at the prison of tedium mankind calls ‘society,’ and he responds with this very self-indulgent nihilism: Be lazy, be a glutton, don’t participate in anything because it’s all bullshit. Garfield looks at Jon waking up early on a Monday and putting on his tie to go to a job he hates, and he sees a pathetic fool. It’s all such a powerful rejection of the Reagan Wall Street capitalist disease that has poisoned the 80s. ‘Work hard, climb the ladder, buy a boat!’ Garfield says fuck that, stay home, eat lasagna, accept no master. But living as an iconoclast in a conformist world has filled him with all this tension. There’s anger in there, you know? So I wanted to examine what would happen if Garfield was finally pushed over the edge. Where’s the line between a passive nihilist and a violent anarchist?”

Warner Bros execs were intrigued by Sharleton’s pitch (and the lucrative cash cow of the Garfield brand) and funded a short “proof-of-concept” trailer, directed by Sharleton, to convince Garfield creator Jim Davis of the idea. The trailer reportedly went “all-in” on Sharleton’s signature “splattercore” horror, including a scene where Garfield grinds up Liz Wilson alive in a meat grinder and bakes her flesh into a lasagna he then serves to Jon. The presentation to Davis was described as “one of the most disastrously miscalculated meetings in modern Hollywood,” with Davis stopping the trailer midway to ask the room “are you people completely fucking insane?” before storming out.

Reflecting on the meeting years later, an anonymous former Warner exec said “we knew it was a long shot, but we really felt like the only way to sell the concept was to push it as far as possible. In retrospect I think yeah, we did let it go too far. We were so absorbed in it that we didn’t realize how jarring it would be for a guy like Jim Davis to just be thrown into this cold. I think it was a mistake to open with the Nermal blender scene, but we wanted shock, and we thought… I don’t know, everyone was doing a LOT of cocaine back then. Well, everyone except Jim Davis."

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[lazyyogi]

Hello dar Lazyyogi,

First of all, it is so good to read your words again after quite some time. And it always is. Thank you so much for continue to share, thank you so much for being here!

My question today is about medical school and going through a hard tough learning or academic journey. I started a bachelors in musical composition one year and a half ago and it honestly has been one of the most tough period in my life. I feel dumb. I struggle to understand concepts and I feel slow compared to collegues. I feel so fucking tired, that when I have the option to rest or study I need to rest - and that makes me question myself, if I am "meant" for this, or if I can truly do this as it's meant to be, or just how can I be the composer I want to be if I'm so tired I can't study properly in this period which is meant to be my composition uterus. I feel difficulty to understand my teachers, and I feel lonely when studying (music is a lonely study truly). I love music. I aspire to be a good composer in the classical field (and popular, which I already do). But I do not feel motivation and I just feel very, very tired. The first year was high in energy and I was struggling but fighting. This year I don't even have the energy to want to do it. But I want to continue because I know I can achieve what I envision - I know I can create beautiful music in complex forms. And I think I want to do it for a long time.

Did you encounter similar dificulties in medical school, please? And if so, how did you deal with it? Specially the tiredness.

Thank you.

Wow this sounds so challenging! Good on you for taking it on in the first place.

Firstly, all of this is challenging enough without adding stressful/depressing thoughts or questions regarding if you are "meant" for this, if you can do this, or if you can be successful.

When I decided to become a doctor after graduating college with a degree in English, I was taking on a path and coursework that I had deliberately avoided since high school. There were times I questioned if I could even do it or if I would ever become a doctor.

But none of that mattered or was important. All that mattered was on thing: Was I willing to find out?

So when all of these thoughts arise questioning if you're cut out for this, if you can manage to succeed, just direct all of it into one question: "Am I willing to find out?"

So long as you're willing to find out if you can do it, then nothing else matters. Just proceed, do your best, and find out.

If you succeed then great. And if not, then you have to evaluate why and adjust your approach.

I failed to find a place for myself in the film industry, which then led me to becoming a doctor and then a surgeon. There's nothing wrong with failure so long as we aren't afraid to honestly evaluate and adjust our approach forward.

Secondly, the tiredness. My advice here is prioritizing your physical well-being.

I like that you choose sleep when necessary, because that's important. Recognize when your studying is ineffective so that you stop wasting your time. If you need a break, take a break. If you need to stop for the day and go to bed early, do that!

Get enough rest but also make sure you set aside 1 hour a day for self-case. Exercise! Doing 15 minutes of cardio daily is huge and will make a big difference. Do some yoga a few days per week. Sitting and studying so much can take a real toll on your body! Seriously.

Make sure you are eating well. Take a multivitamin. Make sure you are getting enough vitamin D.

If you can work 15 - 30 minutes of meditation into your day, great. Even 5 - 15 minutes is still helpful.

Lastly, and this is a big one:

Don't confuse knowledge/skill acquisition with intelligence!

This is something I learned during my residency. I have always had learning disabilities but I never appreciated what that really meant until residency. I acquire knowledge quite slowly. I am a slow learner.

If I judge myself solely based on my learning abilities, I would feel quite stupid. But I'm actually quite clever and ingenious in the ways I apply my knowledge and skills. Understanding this distinction has provided me with more confidence in myself and more self-insight.

To summarize my advice here:

Don't make a challenging process even more difficult by adding your own negativity, doubt, and fear. Learn to meet your challenges in an objective, strategic, and tactful way. Find a self-care regimen that works for and supports you.

And it's never a bad idea to consider speaking with a therapist as well. Someone to help you work through this endeavor could be an amazing resource.

Hang in there, take care of yourself, and see where it takes you!

Much love.

LY

[meloncolliemovies]

QUEER (2024)

Director: Luca Guadagnino

Cast: Daniel Craig (Lee), Drew Starkey (Eugene)

4.5/5

Luca Guadagnino’s queer is a spectrum of imagery. It pushes the boundaries of what we know as “queer”, it disembodies it. It is so unusual to see a film with mlm couples where they are not in love and deeply romantic, because even in 2025 people are still uncomfortable with male on male sexuality. In fact, so much so that a woman behind me in the cinema couldn't stop laughing at this film, believing it comedic instead of the art it is.

I have always admired Guadagnino’s filmmaking for it's visual symbolism. I watched Bones and All last year and it is honestly one of my favourite films for imagery still. I personally loved the use of snakes and centipedes, evoking phallic, poisonous imagery, reminding viewers of how this film is rife with the unfortunate toxic masculinity that surrounds queer communities still today. The snake eating itself, in infinity, forever is a consistent reminder that we must escape the cycle as queer people and be honest with ourselves. The film also featured some fantastic bodily imagery, I've never been so upset at seeing a pair of boobs on my screen.

The acting is undoubtedly amazing. Casting Daniel Craig as the film noir Humphrey Bogart he always should've been, and shooting it so. Every concrete alley, every shadow, every superimposition was reminiscent of that 50s Hollywood, hard boned romance star. Yet, Daniel Craig is far from that in this, I'd go so far as to argue he's the opposite. He's vulnerable, but in the way that men expect they should be, he trods around his desperation until he simply cannot hide from it anymore, and then he begs and stalks. “I want to talk to you…without words”, he wants to emotionally connect, somehow still such an unusual concept for men. And then there's the ashamed, silent lover, Eugene, played by Drew Starkey and it's a fantastic role. I've never seen Drew Starkey in anything before and he blew it out the park for me. Their relationship, unlike many queer films I've seen especially featuring wlw relationships, demands rather than yearns. It is not just that Eugene and Lee want each other, it's that they demand and order. “Mas, mas, mas” They want more, and both cannot reach that, until they quite literally superimpose their bodies together and become one, and it all becomes too much.

The cinematography and mise en scene was also stunning. I loved the opening shots, the story told in objects. I loved the windows, because Guadagnino loves a window so I do too. It is shot so purely, sunlight through the blossoms, cobbled streets, unnamed buildings and bars where the queer people have to hide away from the rest of the world. Yet, Guadagnino has built a community in this world. The Green Lanterns, a safe space for queer men to express freely, and it makes me joyous to see that represented. Also, that fucking score. Trent Reznor is a genius and the Nirvana needle drops were all anyone could ask for, it was a symposium of sounds which make you think, does this match the aesthetic? But it does, it truly does. It brings us the seediness and hidden identities which visually are not shown.

After composing my thoughts a little, I can honestly say that Queer is a reminder of how far cinema has come. I would describe my feelings as I left the cinema as joyous. The film was beautiful. I absolutely love seeing men on screen, exploring vulnerability and breaking boundaries. Yet, I also love how they are so masculine that they can barely escape it. It's just wonderful to finally see unconventional queer relationships. I can't remember who said it, but a review I read said that "Sexuality is as individual as the fingerprint" and that's more than true. The film literally only lacks half a star because I got freaked out when their hearts fell out of their mouths, but honestly that's just me.

I would watch again, and again. I want more!

p.s I'm rewatching I Saw The TV Glow soon, be prepared for a huge review.

[barcodeboyz]

Top 10 Mortal Kombat 1 Animalities

As it goes, I generally don't find myself getting super excited about announcements when it comes to media I love. I get happy about it, but there's a different level of excitement that comes out of those announcements that's just not common for me to experience. I experienced this excitement when Khaos Reigns was announced, and alongside it, animalities. I LOVE animals, and I love Mortal Kombat specifically for the fatality system. So, pairing them together just makes an amazing combination for me. All that being said, this list was really hard to put together, and a character being absent from this list is no indication that their animality is bad, in fact they're all very good! But I have to pick 10, and here are mine.

10. Baraka

My standard for fatalities and animalities alike are that they play into the gruesome factor. I love creativity when it's added, but it's not necessary to me. I love the blood and gore, and we're starting with a good one. This animality sees Baraka turning into a monstrous porcupine, shooting quills at the opponent and landing them on his back spikes. Personally, I would have preferred to see Baraka turn into a walrus, but for the animal they chose it is extremely fitting.

9. Mileena

This was the first animality revealed to us, and it did not disappoint. We see Mileena turn into an elegant orchid mantis, and honestly, it suits her character. Something so fierce and beautiful, eating the opponent and ripping them in half like only Mileena would do.

8. Kenshi

I really like the animalities in the game that utilize aspects of a character in their fatality, whether it be their appearance or other attributes. This animality nails that concept beautifully by turning Kenshi and Sento into wolves that work together to maul the opponent. You'll see more maulings on this list because I think that really fits the animalistic nature of these kills, and Kenshi does it amazingly.

7. Johnny Cage

Was I hoping for Johnny Cage to turn into a kangaroo? Absolutely. Am I disappointed he didn't? Not necessarily, because this is an amazing reference to the film Jaws and it completely fits Johnny Cage's character, being an actor and all. The animality itself is alright, I really appreciate the camera angles but besides the flair, it really doesn't a whole lot else for me. But I think they really nailed this one for Johnny regardless.

6. Noob Saibot

Going back to what I said about Kenshi, it is great having these animalities utilize aspects of the character. Seeing Noob Saibot turn into 2 alligators, which then grab the opponent and rip them apart makes for good viewing. My only wish is that they had the two alligators death roll the opponent, twisting them in half. But for what we got, this was great.

5. Havik

This is one of the best animal designs in the game in my opinion. It perfectly fits the rotting nature of Havik. And the animality itself shows the absolute brutality that hyenas can really show off, as Havik mauls the opponent to death. Brutal death, and one that starts the top of this list.

4. Kitana

Growing up, my family has always had hummingbird feeders in the summer, so I've always gotten to see the elegance of the bird. And the hummingbird was a perfect choice for Kitana. On top of that, they also recreate Kung Lao's Flowerpot fatality from MKX, which is one of my favorite fatalities in the game. Turning the opponent into a hummingbird feeder that she feeds from before the action shot of her flying at the screen is just so great to me.

3. Geras

We are now getting into animals I love, which definitely put a little bias into this list. I love hippos to death, and Geras' animality goes the extra mile to show the true strength that they have in the wild. Crushing the opponent to death in his mouth like they're a big watermelon is just a refreshing take on an animality that could have taken a boring turn, like Reiko's or Sektor's. Not only that, but they made the hippo design so reflective of Geras' own design, and that is extremely cool to me.

2. Kung Lao

This one is complete savagery at its highest peak. Kung Lao turning into a tiger and not just mauling the opponent but pulling a Sub-Zero and ripping their spine out is a completely gruesome watch, but such a cool one at that. This one almost took the number one spot, but one other animality in this game takes that title.

General Shao

I promise that when I went into my blind reaction of all animalities, I had made it a point to not choose character's animalities based on how I liked them. It's the reason why characters like Kitana or Kung Lao, who I don't really care about, made the list while characters like Reiko didn't. It's no secret that General Shao is my favorite character in the game. So why did I put him first then? Simple. They made him a fucking GRIZZLY BEAR. My favorite animal paired with my favorite character in the game? Not only that, but the animality is absolutely grizzly, pun intended. He grabs the opponent and mauls them before crushing their head in his jaws, before this final shot of him roaring holding the opponent's corpse. Such an amazing animality, and one that I'm happy we get to end the list on.

All of the animalities in this game were great. But these ones were special to me, and so that's my list. What are your favorite animalities?

[dnpbeats]

No but actually on the topic about the fuchsia phone case joke. I sometimes find it so hard to reconcile the images and videos of them then, with a)the two idiots we know now, but also just the two people we now understand them to have been at the time.

I see dan making a slightly off colour joke about phils phone case looking gay, and then i think the scared closeted 20yr old, trying to desperately figure himself out, and qhen i try to match them up, in some ways it makes so much more sense and in others it feels like my brain is short-circuiting.

I guess I just always wonder what those jokes and comments actually meant to them at the time. When I first started watching them, way back in 2015, I always understood the jokes they made as being in the same context as when my straight peers/friends made them. Misinformed but not malicious. As coming from the perspective of a straight person who didnt really think about what they were saying. But now obviously we have context, and now im a full raging lesbian myself, who similarly made gay jokes/comments when I was still in the closet, and I'm just starting to realise what mustve been going on in their heads. Like, im not saying the fuschia phone case comment was some desperate desire to be free and open or whatever, it was a joke and it wasnt a particularly deep one, but there is an added layer to it. Dnp laughed for more than just the fact that the 'fuchsia phone case looks gay'. They laughed bc they knew who they were, they were making fun of the whole 'having a purple phone case means your gay' concept in the first place, and they were just two closeted 20-somethings, existing in a world that wasnt ready for them yet. And yeah it was just a stupid joke, but thinking about it too much has made me a little emotional so here we are.

Hi!!! I totally understand this. It’s been wild going back and watching their content with the knowledge we have now. Like I, as most people did, presumed they were queer before they came out. But it’s absolutely a different experience thinking that and knowing that. While I was watching ditl it hit me that like. They were a closeted couple while filming that, and that’s not speculation, Dan confirmed that. And it kind of hit me in a way I can’t describe, but honestly part of it did make me sad. Just like, knowing what it must’ve been like for them. And I totally get what you’re saying about the gay joke. Like for them obviously part of it was like “oh haha making a gay joke when we’re gay!” But it’s also like… making a gay joke because you’re closeted and that’s as close as you can get to publicly being yourself. And even then, whatever the exact joke was, they cut out part of it. Which honestly was probably a good call lmao but, yeah. I agree that specific joke wouldn’t have been some like grand moment in their lives or that it’s that deep at the end of the day. But it’s just knowing that things/jokes like that were probably a regular occurrence and for a while that was like what they had yk? Making gay jokes and then cutting them out, because they didn’t want them to be misconstrued but maybe bc they hit a little too close to home

And now look at them. Joking about eating jizz on the gaming channel for all the world to see