#bill skarsgard double chin

[fangirlblogger]

Fangirl Analysis Four: Bill Skarsgard's forehead wrinkles.

Girlies, the concept of this analysis is something that has been on mind since I've started evolving into a woman. I have developed this attraction of men's forehead wrinkles since last year and it's not because of my daddy issues (that's another conversation for another time), it's because of aging unfortunately. But I'm glad I'm aging because then I would not be here analyzing this beautiful and masterful craft on Daddy Bill Skarsgard's forehead. The man's got a heavenly forehead and girrrl, the things I want to do to that forehead are endless. With that being said, let's get into the analysis.

Listen girlies, if Bill looked at me the way he did in this image, I would instantly melt, evaporate and vanish. Girl, I don't know whether I want him to look at me that way forever or eat me and look at me like that till I pass out. I'm swooning over this look right now and the thing that makes this image more desirable and religiously worthy to be worshiped is his forehead wrinkles.

This image is from the Clark TV mini series and Bill played Clark Olofsson - a Swedish criminal in the 70s that prompted society to coined the term Stockholm Syndrome based on his relationships with his hostages or victims. Spoiler for those who did not watch the mini series yet, that's basically what the series is about. If you're a Bill Skarsgard fangirl like myself who has not watched this mini series yet, GIRL YOU HAVE TO (it's on Netflix if you're wondering). You will enjoy and devour every moment of it. Every sound of his voice, all of his body movements, all his angry, lustful, joyful, sad and confused glances and looks, his thick and rough Swedish accent, his manipulative smiles, his boisterous laughter and most importantly the way he devoured that oyster in Episode one, good Lord I came so hard, I almost thought I was giving birth to Bill's kid.

Now girlies, I am aware that there a numerous images of Bill displaying his godly forehead wrinkles. Some of them are so good, I don't know if it's my pussy that's wetter or it's my mouth.

Case study question: Why did I specifically select this image?

It's a no brainer really, my pussy gets wet instantly and I know this is the real deal, the masterpiece, my Salvatore Mundi.

Let's take a look at his hair. His hair looks so effortlessly perfect. The way the strand of hair draws down his forehead, just above his eye-brow is so immaculate. You can tell that he puts so much effort into taking care of his hair because of how effortlessly perfect it looks.

Now onto his jawline, cheeks and chin. He has the most flawless cheeks ever. When he doesn't smile, they lay back so perfectly and that brings out his perfect jawline, making it sharp enough to crack me open like a coconut. But when he does smile, they rise up so well and display his impeccable double chin. His chin is so well shaped that it smoothly keeps his immaculate facial structures intact and glorious.

His lips, they are a world of its own. I wouldn't mind being his lips, getting moistened and licked by his tongue every day. I will not delve into this anymore further because there will be an analysis on his lips soon. So I'll save all the goodness for later.

Let's look at his eyes. His eyes have the most unerring eye bags under them and in this image you can clearly see how perfect they are. We all know Bill has the world's most soulful eyes, so big and doe, they just make you want to cry in a sexual way. By the look in his eyes, and the lines on his face from his eyes to his forward, it clearly indicate that he is concerned but not in a good way. He is concerned about how he is going to manipulate his girlfriend. Also, you can see a little bit of impatience on his face in this image. If you watch the Clark film, you'll understand what I mean.

Now, finally to his wrinkles. They are so important in this image especially in this episode of the Clark mini series. Significance of it to this image is that it makes Bill look real. I've stated this before and I am saying it again, nothing is more attractive than a man with a natural face. His forehead wrinkles indicates to us that he is aging and that is the most beautiful thing in the world. Girl, his forehead wrinkles can wrinkle me up all the way to heaven.

The significance of this look in the image to the Clark mini series is that he perfectly displayed the look of a manipulative man. As already stated, his facial expressions displayed impatience, concern and irritability. My guy just came to see the girl and manipulate her to still love him. He did not come to see her and listen to what she has to say. And, Bill perfectly executes that in that scene.

Moreover, this image showed him in his natural state, meaning if he was not acting, this is what he would like on a daily basis, and that is super-hot! He looks scruffy, organic and humanly.

To conclude, wrinkles are beautiful and when they're on Bill Skarsgard's forehead, I go feral and insane. Those wrinkles makes him even more attractive. The Starry Night by Van Gogh might have you tripping but Bill's forehead wrinkles will have your pussy singing. So to the men that thinks women are rizzed by their overly masculine features, we're not. We like our men simple and comfortable like Bill Skarsgard.

Also, I would like to clarify that if you read this analysis as a body-shaming post, it is entirely the opposite. I love Bill Skarsgard and I find every bit of his body attractive, alluring and godly. I am aware of the social obsession with ageism but I actually prefer my man a bit older with a bit of grey hair, wrinkles, and 10 times more trauma from life than me.

[jj-lynn21]

CHAPTER 2: THE RENTAL MISTAKE

Chapter 1  Chapter 3 Chapter 4  Chapter 5

The chapter are short in this five chapter story about a rental mix up that could end up benefitting both parties. Characters include AU Bill Skarsgard and my original character Sammatha. It is mostly whimsical with a little blood and sex towards the end. A bit of orgasm denial and oral on female. Enjoy.

“I rented this place.” They reply in unison.

‘You have to be in the wrong house.’ Sammatha protested. ‘I rented this place two weeks ago.”

“I rented this place two weeks ago.” Bill tried to explain calmly. “My phone is in the bedroom. Do you have yours? We can call the owner to try to straighten this all out.”  

“I managed to keep it dry.” She pulled her cellphone from her cleavage.

Bill grinned.

“What?” she smirked. “I needed to keep it dry running in here in the storm.”

“You don’t need to explain.” he looked away running his hand through his hair. “Just make the call.”

Sammatha made the call. It rang and rang and rang and rang... “He isn’t answering.” She turned the phone to show Bill.  

“That sucks.” Bill scratched the bit of hair on his chin.  

“Double bookings happen.” Sammatha got up and headed to get her things. “You were here first. I’m sorry I woke you.” just then thunder struck, and a bolt of lightning was seen out the front window. She jumped.

“Hold on.” Bill caught up to her and grabbed her arm. “I don’t think you should be driving in this weather.”

She turned surprised. Her face at his chest. She looked up at him. That is when it hit her who this was standing before her with sleepy eyes. The killer clown. The upir. He was so many of her favorite characters. “I don't want to go back out there.” She swallowed hard. “I can sleep the night on the couch.”

“Nonsense, you are sleeping in the bed.” Bill’s voice was insistent.

“Okay.” she smiled.

“I will take the couch.” bill smiled back. “It pulls out into a bed, I think. Now let's try to get some sleep. We will try the owner again in the morning, I just need to grab my phone from the bedroom.”  

Sammatha agreed with a nod. They both went back to the bedroom where Bill quickly grabbed his phone and disappeared into the living room. She quickly fell asleep once she was laying in the large comfortable bed. Bill on the other hand took a while longer to fall asleep again. He pulled out the bed from the couch. It was a bit smaller, but not terribly so. It was queen-size. He had to find the extra sheets and blankets in the hall closet. Then the thunder exploded at what seemed like his head. But he eventually drifted off.

She woke to the wonderful aroma of bacon sizzling and coffee hot and fresh.  Sammatha stretched when she pulled herself out of bed. Then she headed to the restroom to fix herself up before appearing in the kitchen.  

“Good morning.’ she yawned as she grabbed a coffee cup from a shelf and poured her morning wakeup call. “Thanks for making enough coffee for us.”

“I was making it so might as well make a full pot.” he flipped some pancakes and pulled the bacon from the oven. “Are you hungry? I made more than enough. II tend to eat more when I am not working.”

“I was just going to have...” she stopped when he put the mound of bacon, sausage, eggs and pancakes on the table. “Wholly cow, are you expecting more people?”

Bill chuckled. “No.” he put some plates, silverware and napkins down. ‘This is how I eat on vacation. I made a little extra for you if you want to join me that is?”

‘Thank you again.” she took a sip of coffee before filling her plate with the breakfast goodies. ‘My name is Sammatha. You can call me Sam. Most people do.’

He swallowed a big mouth full of breakfast while nodding politely. ‘I’m Bill”

‘Here is to calories that don’t count on vacation.” She took a bite of the fluffy pancakes. “Of course, it could be my last vacation meal if I don’t find a place to stay. You were here first so whatever the mix up you should be the one that stays.”

“Nonsense.’ Bill huffed. ‘We can try to call the owner again. If he does not answer, we both stay here.  if that is something you would be comfortable doing?”

‘I guess that would be fine.’ she paused to sip her coffee and take in some more deliciousness. “But I will take the living room as my home base and sleep on the pullout. I practically get lost in that big bed.’ she laughed.

“That’s a deal.” He held out his hand for her to shake on it.

Sammatha shook his hand. Bill called the owner putting his phone on speaker so she could hear.  Still, it rang, rang and rang some more. ‘I will shoot him a text.”  He wrote:

     I think you double booked the cottage. Another guest showed up last night.

      Please call back to work this out.  

Bill showed the text to Sammatha before sending it. “What do you think Sam?”

She read it with a nod of agreement. “Yes, that sounds good.”

Bill sent the text. They ate in comfortable silence. Bill got up to take the empty dishes to the sink. She could not believe he could fit all he ate in his slim muscular body, but his belly was protruding a small bit. She got up to help him.

“I’ll wash and you dry.” Sammatha suggested.

Bill pointed to the dishwasher. “I think that is what that is for.”  He started loading the dishwasher. “You can go about your vacation however you want, but I am going to try out the kayaks down by the like. You can join me if you like?”

“That sounds fun.” she went over to finish up her coffee before putting the coffee cup in the dishwasher.  

She went out to get her bags to change as Bill went to shower and dress. This worked out perfect as if choreographed. Bill was done with his shower in the bedroom dressing as she got dressed and ready for the day in the bathroom. He came out first and had another cup of coffee. Sammatha appeared from the bathroom in black shorts and a hot pink tank top.  

“Ready for some fun.” She commented.

“Definitely.” Bill smiled and opened the door for her to go first.  

The skies were clear and sunny. A bright blue with whisps of white floating aimlessly. They grabbed life jackets from those hung on a hack and chose kayaks to begin their tranquil journey. Bill playfully splashed her with his paddle. She laughed and splashed him back. He pointed out animals and birds along the shoreline as they went.  

As they were paddling, he saw a bunny sipping water at the edge. He pointed that out to her. “Look at that bunny. That’s a baby.”

“Oh, how cute.” Then she screamed.

Bill looked with wide eyes. “Oh, shit.”

An alligator had made its way quickly across the bank and devoured little creature.  

“I think we should turn this way.” Bill grabbed the front of Sammatha’s kayak turning it in the opposite direction.

“It's the circle of life, Bill.”  She padded towards where he pointed her away from the carnage.

“I rather not be part of that gators circle.” Bill paddled a little faster. “Did you see the size of that thing?”

She caught up to him “It was large.”

They had been out on the water sever hours by that time, so Bill just paddled back to shore. As they were standing taking a breath from pulling the kayaks up, the alligator or maybe another one swam by its eye seeming to be on them.   “That thing was eying us for lunch.”

tags: @super-pink-a-palouza @caliskarsgard

[ill-skillsgard]

Smoke & Money, Part 3 - Bill Skarsgård

Title: Smoke & Money

Warning: 100% NSFW, some drug use, swearing, sex/fetish/kink type situations

Description: A young sex worker gets tangled in the dangerous web of a wealthy entrepreneur whose tastes push her past all of her known limits.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

There was this guy that I met and he was interested in me. I could tell immediately. He had a fast car and an expensive suit on. He was a little on the shorter side with a buzz cut to hide his receding hairline and a chin-strap to make up for it. By the looks of him, he may have been of Italian descent. Not that I cared all that much when he opened his wallet and showed me a stack of hundreds. He wanted to go out for a night with me as his date. At first, he offered me five hundred but I told him to double it for the night if I was acting as a date. He wanted the full escort services. It had been a long time since I had gone clubbing and even longer since I had escorted. Some guys wanted to strut around like peacocks and not just get their dicks sucked in a parked car. So whatever, I thought, I'll go to a fancy club with this guy and have my drinks paid for and come away with another grand in my pocket, at the very least. Usually, these types wanted to stay up all night hauling rails of cocaine and trying to balance it out by choking down male performance enhancers that you could buy at sex shops. Again, whatever. As long as I got paid. I wasn't personally a fan of getting all wigged out on drugs normally but I did like a drink here and there and I could be a fun time, even without narcotics. I also liked to get dolled up so the whole club scenario felt like a breath of fresh air to me.

As I stood in front of my mirror doing my make up I couldn't help but think about Mr. Skarsgard. I hated that I referred to him like that but I still didn't know his first name and by the way he had growled at me the last time, I was afraid to ever speak out of line with him. He looked so young but he carried himself so proudly that it was hard to pinpoint his age. The plague of questions still swirled in my gut once in a while. If he was so rich and so handsome, why was he paying women to be his little service maids? The man was an enigma to me, so dark and quiet, like the beginning of a storm, when the world seems to stand perfectly still inside a din of impending chaos. What was to come? I could not be sure. All I could do was watch the skies.

The club we went to was obnoxiously upscale in decor but noticeably Spring Break in clientèle. Even though the men were suited and the women all wore stilettos, they were all yelling and dancing and drinking and many pairs of eyes were blown-out dilated. I accompanied my John to different corners and levels of the clubs, drink in hand, swagger in my step and alertness that I did not give way to so that he could find his buddies and most certainly show me off. The dress I wore was a backless, low-cut silky shawl of a drape that only really covered my ass and pussy because it tapered down into a pencil skirt. I too wore stilettos.I had on this little number, impossibly high-heeled shoes and a gold sequined clutch that contained my phone, my ID, and my money. I drank with him and laughed with him and stole glances with his more attractive friend. It was a standard night at the club. Blow was snorted off of inch-long acrylic nails, martini glasses speckled any table surface and the music pumped so loud that it was impossible to have a real conversation. To be honest I was kind of having fun at the club even if my client was a greasy little guido with too much Hugo Boss cologne on. "Hey sweetheart," he yelled into my ear. "Take this and go use those tits to order everyone a shot." "Yeah, sure. How many?" I asked him. "Like ten. Who needs a shot!?" I had been seated at a table with a few guys who all fit the same profile as my client and a few girls. I wasn't sure who was a girlfriend and who was an escort but I didn't really care. He had just put two hundred dollars in the palm of my hand. He must have been really messed up and having too good of a time to care about the money spent. I don't think anybody in the establishment cared how much money they were spending. They were all kids with rich parents. Boy how I loved kids with rich parents. Through all of the writhing bodies and slamming bass, I made my way to a bar and posted up on it for a moment to collect my thoughts. I opened my clutch and put the hundred dollar bills inside for safe-keeping. Most of the night I had been neglecting my cell phone so I figured it a good time to check it. As soon as the screen came on I saw there had been a missed call from a few minutes prior. "Shit..." I said to myself. Oh well, unknown number. The bartender was on the complete opposite end of the bar and I knew it would be a while before she worked her way down to me. After all, straight women bartenders tended to favor serving the men first for better tips. That was alright with me though because I knew that hustle far too well. So I waited for my turn like a proper patron. Then my cell phone started vibrating in my hand. There was no way I could take the call amidst all of the noise but it was the same number that I had just missed. My heart skipped a beat or two.

I shoved my clutch underneath my arm and made for the bathroom, the only semi-quiet place that I could think of to take a call.  Luckily for me, the only people occupying the stalls were chicks peeing and doing cocaine together. I took the last stall, shut the door and locked it behind me, cell phone in hand.

There was no way I could wait for the number to call again so I decided to call it back which was something I usually didn't do.

It rang and rang and rang for what felt like forever until finally, somebody picked up. "Hello?" I asked when nobody said a thing. "Yeah." "Hi... Who is this? I have a missed call from this number." "Two missed calls." The voice said. I chuckled nervously, "Oh, yeah. Um, so just returning the call." "I appreciate it." "Sorry, who is this?" "Bill... Skarsgard." "Oh." "I'm sending a car for you." My mouth hung open as I scrabbled for something to say. "No, I... I can't. Not tonight." "J... Don't make me tell you twice." "I'm not..." I paused to grind my teeth. "I'm not at home." "Where are you?" With a sigh, I relented, "The Revive Downtown." "He'll be there soon." "Uh... Okay." I hung up the phone and let out a long breath. Shit. Dropping my phone back into my clutch, I left the bathroom in search of my client whose name I forgot. I had to wiggle my way through troops of people dancing before I reached the table that I'd just left. "Where the drinks at?" He asked. I grabbed his hand and gave him back the two hundred dollars. He looked down at the money with confusion written on his shiny face. "I have to go." "What?" He yelled, unable to hear me above all of the electronic discord. He got the hint when I stood to leave. "Sorry, I have to go!" "Wait what the fuck? You can't leave." He stood up as well, much to the surprise of his friends. I held up the free hand that wasn't clutching my bag tightly to my body. "It's an emergency, I'm so sorry!" "No, no, no! I want my money back, bitch!" "I'm sorry! That's not going to happen! Sorry... I have to go!" With that, I turned to walk away quickly towards the exit. My ditched client had other plans and once I was outside I could finally hear properly. There were people all over the street, cars driving by, pulling up and honking and then someone grabbed my arm tightly. "Hey! Don't you fucking walk away from me." I had been followed outside by my client who was obviously pissed. The exclamation was enough to grab the attention of anyone who was standing in line as well as the bouncer who turned his attention toward us but didn't move from his post. "Give me my money back you fucking whore." I flinched away from him, throwing my arms up in front of my face as my first reaction. What I anticipated was for him to come at me, but that was interrupted immediately. "Step the fuck back right now buddy. You don't want to try it." My savior said rather calmly. It was Mr. Skarsgård's driver who had gotten in between us. The guido stepped away, fists clenched, his buddies had come out too and also didn't know how to react. "Your fucking whore stole my money!" The driver took a step closer, towering over the angry client with a trained poise. There was no way he would attempt to throw down with the driver who had a foot on him and none of his friends seemed up to the challenge either. "You better watch your mouth, kid," the driver warned. "You," he then pointed at me. "Get in the car... now." I didn't wait for him to open the door for me and simply flung it open myself, threw my clutch into the back and got in. There was hardly anymore exchange before the driver shook his jacket and came back to the car. It was strange that I felt safe inside the BMW but I did and that's all I really cared about. My friends had told me I should have a bodyguard for situations like these but I had put it off for the simple fact that I couldn't afford to pay a guy to stave off asshole clients. Also, I hadn't done anything to get myself into violent situations either. This was all sorts of unlike me. I had never bounced on a client before. What I was doing for Skarsgård went against almost everything I had learned. It was just common courtesy to not walk out on a client, especially if you had been paid beforehand. This was going to get me into a lot of trouble. The driver got into the car and quickly pulled away from the scene. I watched his tense face relax gradually the further we drove from the club. After a minute or two of driving, he looked in the rearview mirror, matching my stare. "I'm sorry you had to do that," I said to him. "You don't have any protection?" Ashamed, I shook my head no. "You should, doing what you do." Glancing out the window at the passing streets I sighed, "I know." That was the only exchange we had for the rest of the way there. Each minute that passed I got more and more nervous. My imagination ran wild thinking of all of the possible scenarios that I was potentially putting myself into. I started shivering, perhaps because I was wearing almost nothing or maybe from fear of what I was walking into.

In my ridiculously high heels, I clopped up the steps behind the driver who had left the car running just to let me inside the house. I thought it was appropriate of him and I longed to thank him more for stepping in to defend me but I didn't think he wanted to hear any more of it. Instead, I walked right into the foyer. The lights were on this time and it took me a moment to adjust. A bright light was thrown into all corners of the massive hall by the crystal chandelier that hung down like a glittering, silver jellyfish. The paintings were illuminated enough to make out the finer details. But before I could wander in further a voice cleared at the top of the stairs. "Well... A little under-dressed?" I looked up and saw him leaning against the banister, one leg bent and one straight. His white button-up was open and I could see his deep collarbone. Although he looked a little more disheveled than I was used to, he still had his shirt tucked into his straight-fitting black trousers and shiny brown oxford shoes on. He looked to be a mile away by how tall he stood at the top staring down at me with what I thought could have been a mixture of disdain and surprise. "I was out dancing," I called up to him. He nodded his head and never took his stare off of me even if I shied away from the constant eye contact. "Get upstairs. Now." After his unyielding order, he turned and left down the East Wing hall. The echo of his footfalls beckoned me up the stairs. Before I started I grimaced at having to ascend so many stairs in such ridiculous shoes. However determined I was, I couldn't help but let myself take a short breather after clearing all of them one by meticulous one so as to not stumble on the thick carpet. He hadn't gone into his room, he was waiting right at the door. I tried to compose myself and walked towards him with confidence and not like my knees were about to give in. I wondered if he could tell how terrible I was at walking in stilettos. "Go." His voice was like blunt force trauma to my ears. I entered the room which had come alive by the light of candles and the lamp beside the bed.

Bill closed the door behind us with an antique thud and circled me like a predator, never taking his eyes off of me. I felt naked even though I wasn't. His eyes burned so vehemently but his mouth was relaxed and he could almost undress me with the intensity of that stare. Finally, I could see his face, really see it under the glow of the candles and lamps. He was this hybrid of a boy, innocence was woven into every cell of his pale skin and undeniable confidence of a well-dressed, well-paid man, as sinister as he was striking. He had it all in that moment; money, power, and beauty. Something told me he could get away with anything even without the money and the power. Those good looks alone could make a girl do a lot.

That's precisely how he made me feel as he walked towards me, taking his hands from his trouser pockets to grasp my chin, forcing me to stare back at him. "What you did tonight was wrong and I'm very disappointed." He said. "I'm sorry." "Well... you have the rest of the night to atone for making me angry, isn't that right?" "Yes, sir." His eyes were wide and searching, flicking back and forth as he bore into my own eyes. "I thought we had an understanding?" "We do, sir." Bill stepped back and let his eyes fall down my body, taking in every inch of me. Judging me or simply observing, it was hard to tell. This man was hard to read. "Apparently I didn't make myself clear enough." I swallowed. He continued. "You are mine and only mine. You belong to me. You are my fucking property and I do not share." "You don't have to, sir"" "Oh is that right? Then who are you all dressed up for, hm?" "Nobody." "You mean to tell me this little ensemble wasn't meant for anyone? I find that hard to believe. I don't pay you to traipse around the city looking like a ten-dollar hooker for other people." There were so many things I wanted to say but I chose to remain silent as he continued to circle me. "Go to the bed rail." He pointed towards the prodigious canopy bed that was hampered with pillows. I walked past him and stopped at the foot of the bed. He did not watch me but rather went to the other side of the room and dragged a plush wing-back chair to the center of the carpet. With a look of complete absorption on his face, he approached me from behind as though I were just another object in his room. "Bend over." He murmured. I did as I was told and bent over the wooden rail at the foot of his enormous bed. I wasn't sure what to do with my arms so I splayed my hands out on the soft duvet and waited for what was to come next. His hand touched my lower back and pushed down. "Further," he said. Lower I went, arching my back and the more I did so the more my dress pulled up in the back. He could most certainly see my ass as I could feel cool air touching my skin. That big hand ran down the base of my spine and over my exposed skin. Slowly he inserted a finger underneath the scant little strap of my thong, pulling it up. The sensation of the material pulling taut against my most sensitive parts was enough to make me weak in the knees, or perhaps it was my shoes. Nevertheless, it didn't feel unwelcome, simply disgracious in a way that made me feel dirty. "You never make me wait. I do not wait for you. You wait for me." "Yes." "Yes, what?" "Yes, sir." Without letting go of my underwear he used his other hand to push me down further over the rail so that I was completely on display for him. My fear was that he would penetrate me but in those deliciously sickening moments, I didn't have the courage to bring up my rules. I simply did not allow clients to fuck me without a condom. Even the cleanest of men were no exception. My heart began to race thinking of every possibility that could go down. What would I do if he tried? Did I have it in me to freak out, push him away and end it all? Would I allow him to enter me? My head felt so foggy that I honestly couldn't tell how to react. All I knew was that his long fingers were tickling my skin and I could feel the heat of arousal stirring inside of me. Then he wound up and spanked me so hard a shockwave of sting interrupted my entire thought process. I gasped and looked back at him but he was calm, collected and close to me with his hands on my backside once more, rubbing the skin where he had just laid a fiery handprint. "Don't you ever keep me waiting again, understand?" I sucked in my bottom lip and nodded. "You are mine. You are my fucking property," he repeated himself. "Do not test me." "Yes, sir." "You fuck up and misbehave and now..." He leaned over my body bringing his lips close to my ear, hand never leaving my ass cheek. "Now you need punishment." That was the only warning he gave before spanking me again in the same spot. It stung so bad but I gritted my teeth and handled it not unflinchingly but as best as I could to keep from squealing. The prickling heat made me wince in pain. As if to alleviate the suffering he switched to the other cheek and gave me a whack for balance. Not once did he let go of my thong. He pulled it up, rubbed his hand over where the tiny triangle of fabric covered me and smacked me again. This time I couldn't help but let a sound slip from my mouth. "Oh yes, I know it hurts but this is what happens when you defy me. Isn't that right?" I nodded vigorously in hopes my submission would earn me some sympathy. It did not, and he wound up, cranking me really good on the right so hard that my legs faltered. If he wasn't there to keep me standing I would have buckled to the floor. Sweat broke on my forehead and my muscles clenched tightly. The funny part of it all was that I wasn't even tied up. I could have easily turned around and left. I could have refused this punishment. Hell, I could have refused him back at the club and I would have been well on my way to being drunk on top shelf liquor but instead, I was here, bent over a hand-carved wooden rail getting my ass handed to me by this rich, authoritarian man who I knew nothing about. 

The only solace my burning skin took was when he leaned over and spit on my bare ass cheeks and smeared it around with his thumbs. I sighed and I'm sure he noticed my relief by the way my spine relaxed. The sustenance was short-lived though. He lowered himself on one knee, proposing to my backside with both hands squeezing, spreading me open and then giving me a few swift belts using his hands as a paddle. By then my dress had risen far over my hips and I had never been more exposed to him before than I was at that moment. His punishment started to awaken a small, provocative tingle that didn't take long to sprout into something that coveted the rain of his foul play upon me. I soon forgot how my ankles were starting to ache, having been propped up on five inches of poniard for hours. The loud claps of his hand against my rear were enough to mask my tiny, shivering moans. He threaded his fingers through my hair and pulled my head back, allowing me to straighten. His other hand came up my neck and gripped my chin, forcing me to look at him, puppeteering my head to bring his lips to the crest of my cheekbone. His breath was hot, sweetened with bourbon and the scent of the cigarettes he smoked. When he pushed his hips into me I could feel how hard he had gotten and I gasped. What was he planning on doing to me? I knew that if I was subjected to anymore spanking it would cross the threshold into nothing but pain with a tearful lack of any pleasure. I didn't want it again but I did want something from him. What I wanted was so unreal and unwise. "Say you're mine." He hissed at me before licking my cheek all the to my gaping mouth. "Say it." What felt like a venomous snake wrapping around me tightly was really the erection he had pressed against my side. If he hadn't have been fully clothed I would have felt a lot more threatened but there was still this perception of a loaded gun. At the moment I truly felt the words leave my mouth. "I'm yours, I'm yours." "That's right, you are." He squeezed my cheeks between his fingers. "Now... Show me your tongue." I opened my mouth modestly and he gave me a quick nip of a kiss, all tongue-on-tongue contact. He drew back only to spit into my mouth and repeat himself. His nasty little game of sucking face made me long for more intimate contact. If he'd have used that loaded gun on me, I would have dropped to my knees in front of him. Without a second thought, he pushed me back over the wooden rail and left me there which was a better alternative to another round of spanking. But I was curious about where he was going until I heard the dull whine of the chair accepting his weight and the jingle of a belt coming undone. I dared a look behind me to see what he was doing. "Turn back around, now." I snapped back into place facing the expanse of bed before me. The candles cast flickering shadows across the black sea of opulent silk and behind me a man was beginning to jack off, watching my damp and reddened ass from a chair that cost more than most people's whole bedroom sets. I wanted to look back but I didn't, lest I cause him any more reason to lash out at me. Somehow I did feel bad for having denied him for anyone else and as I listened to the sound of him stroking his cock behind me, I wanted even more to please him. His breathing was audible and the jingling of his belt only got louder as he went. His breathing was fragmented into nearly inaudible grunts to sounds of him panting. Fuck, I wanted to watch. It wasn't long until a silence of about two minutes fell before he stood up and walked towards me slowly. Each footstep made my blood pump faster. This time, instead of a smack on my ass I felt a stickiness being spread all over my rosy skin. He smeared me with his cum, rubbing it into my flesh like lotion, over my panties and down the backs of my thighs. He made a real show of it, even going as far as to rub his hand over my clothed pussy just once. "Stay right there." He ordered. He and I both knew that I would not go against his word but once he did up his pants and left the room I chanced a looked around. The chair behind me seemed like a mundane object and not where he had just been sitting, staring at me, running his hand over his cock until he came. I wasn't cemented to the bed rail. I wasn't about to get fucked raw. Everything about this was different to me. It was hard to peg every man but this guy went against anything I had expected. He was nothing like the rest of them. He was unpredictable and that was what scared me about him. Was this play or was this humorless in his eyes? I looked over at the brass plate and bristled at the wad of cash that had been there seemingly all along. Would he take it as a slight if I left it there? Of course, he would, I thought. It wouldn't be there if I wasn't supposed to take it. Minutes passed before I heard him coming up the corridor. I had pulled down the skirt of my dress over the drying mess he had left on me and picked up my clutch once more. When he came back to the door he had a lit cigarette between two fingers. "There will be a cab waiting outside to take you home." I nodded at him, unable to open my mouth to actually say anything. He took a long haul off the end of his cigarette, leaning and swaying against the door. "Did you learn your lesson tonight?" "Yes, sir," I replied, feeling meek. "Good girl."After that, he left me to show myself out.

[hichintya]

rebahan dicombo sama fill in the blank

Get to know someone better questions

— 1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

pas salim sama bapak mama

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

outgoing

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

whoyhoakheh

4. Are you easy to get along with?

ofc tapi kalo doi ga asik yo bhay

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

ga ga ga, ga bakal drunk

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

open minded, good listener

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

commitment?

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

macem macem

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

ga lah, di obgyn malah about sex semua 

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

mbak

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

lho he lho he

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

ruang sendiri, langit abu-abu, monokrom, senorita, say you love me

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

who doesn’t?

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

ofc

15. What good thing happened this summer?

belanja makeup banyak sekale

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

lho sopo yo kok lali lol

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

kayanya sih iya tapi far from home (Earth)

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

first? seriously? kalo ada yang last ngapain harus first eeaa

19. Do you like bubble baths?

1000000000%

20. Do you like your neighbors?

ngghh suka suka ae sih ga mungkin ga suka yakan tetangga masa gitu

21. What are you bad habits?

swear words :(

22. Where would you like to travel?

new york, sydney, tokyo, london

23. Do you have trust issues?

yo ga yo ga

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

doing makeup and take a shower after having a rough day

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

when have a bad hair day :(

26. What do you do when you wake up?

ngurusin the sims

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

lighter

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

me myself and i lol

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

tidak membahas yang sudah sudah

30. Do you ever want to get married?

who doesn’t?

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yoiyolah bos

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

lol bill skarsgard justin bieber geazy machinegunkelly rossbutler jamiebower jaredleto lho he lho he kok akeh astagfirullah

33. Spell your name with your chin.

chintya

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

senam 7 menit

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

live wo tv

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

kayanya tiap orang pasti 

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

eh tau ga, *terus bahas lingkungan sekitar 

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

answer number 32

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

sephora lah yaampun bukan lagi

40. What do you want to do after high school?

aku udah wisuda s1 lho :(

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

second aja ya gaosa third dst

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

u deserve it

43. Do you smile at strangers?

rbf kok suru smile 

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

OUTER SPACE TO INFINITY AND BEYOND YEAY

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

kebelet poopy

46. What are you paranoid about?

kuota habis pas butuh butuh nya

47. Have you ever been high?

??

48. Have you ever been drunk?

gak lah

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

hm yayaya ada

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

grey

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

gak blas bcs i have a beautiful life

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

tinggi badan dong mau yang kaya mbak kendall

53. Favourite makeup brand?

so far nyx 

54. Favourite store?

sephora he sephora wes tala take me there i will love ya lol OH SAMA TOKO BUKU DONG

55. Favourite blog?

ada di following tumblr tapi aku lupa id nya

56. Favourite colour?

pink tapi akhir akhir ini suka ijo 

57. Favourite food?

apapun yang bumbu kacang sama bumbu asam manis

58. Last thing you ate?

beng beng nih ngetik sambil ngunyah

59. First thing you ate this morning?

air putih bcs ga suka sarapan

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

menang menang beliin anak sembarangan :( mentang mentang dink :( opo sih :(

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

kok gatau sih

62. Been arrested? For what?

ga lah coy

63. Ever been in love?

iyo

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

kasitaogaya

65. Are you hungry right now?

always

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

real friends lah tumblr friends bule tok ngene

67. Facebook or Twitter?

twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

gak

70. Names of your bestfriends?

wakeh 

71. Craving something? What?

going to the bookstore RIGHT NOW

72. What colour are your towels?

pink

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

wah banyak sumpah bentar ya oh 5 lol

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

gak

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

mbuh lali

75. Favourite animal?

thestral lol

76. What colour is your underwear?

macem macem

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

vanilla dong seyeng

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

kan udah tadi vanilla

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

putih

80. What colour pants?

item

81. Favourite tv show?

yang lucu lucu

82. Favourite movie?

too many good movies he aku lupa apa aja tapi kalo ditanya udah nonton yaudah tapi lupa ceritanya gimana terus judulnya apa haaaa

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

yang pertama!!

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

mean girl

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

karen smith

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

nemo lah doi anaknya semangat banget

87. First person you talked to today?

mama

88. Last person you talked to today?

mama

89. Name a person you hate?

akeh lek isok tak mention menisan

90. Name a person you love?

wadaw wadaw

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

ga sih tapi kalo kapan hari iya

92. In a fight with someone?

udah selesai

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

ga ngitung

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

4 apa 5 ya

95. Last movie you watched?

wait mikir oh aladdin

96. Favourite actress?

emma roberts!!

97. Favourite actor?

akeh sumpah males mikir

98. Do you tan a lot?

nt rlly

99. Have any pets?

gak

100. How are you feeling?

happyyyy

101. Do you type fast?

1 menit 15 baris dan panjang panjang haha

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

ga blas

103. Can you spell well?

yup

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

yang sudah yha sudah

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

iyo

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

hehe

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yoi dong

108. What should you be doing?

mandi tapi malah njawabi ginian

109. Is something irritating you right now?

gak

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

hmmm

111. Do you have trust issues?

yo ga yo ga kok pertanyaan ini lage seh

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

mirror

113. What was your childhood nickname?

banyak

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

keluar lho ya bukan tinggal

115. Do you play the Wii?

gak

116. Are you listening to music right now?

YAS

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

iyo 

118. Do you like Chinese food?

iyo

119. Favourite book?

harpot, buku buku motivasi

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

hehe

121. Are you mean?

hehe

122. Is cheating ever okay?

cheating apa nih? ujian?

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

bisa kok bisa

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

ga mongken

125. Do you believe in true love?

maybe

126. Are you currently bored?

ga pernah sih karena saya kreatif

127. What makes you happy?

makeup haha

128. Would you change your name?

kendall jenner

129. What your zodiac sign?

cap

130. Do you like subway?

yayaya

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

likes doang mah yaudahahya

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

mbak

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

ga bisa netapin 1 karena tiap hari ganti ganti favoritnya :(

134. Can you count to one million?

wah yo kesyel bosh

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

hehehe

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

OPEN

137. How tall are you?

lho he lho he

138. Curly or Straight hair?

straight

139. Brunette or Blonde?

bru

140. Summer or Winter?

2 2 nya ako mao

141. Night or Day?

NIGHT

142. Favourite month?

december

143. Are you a vegetarian?

dulu sempet

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

dark

145. Tea or Coffee?

tea nya milk tea, coffee nya yan double shot lho he kok malah pesen

146. Was today a good day?

YEAHHHH

147. Mars or Snickers?

mars ae

148. What’s your favourite quote?

banyak

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

gak

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

mager

[fangirlblogger]

Fangirl Analysis Three: Bill Skarsgard's double chin.

Okay girlies, this one is close to my heart. In fact, it burns my heart and starts this fire that never dies out. Bill Skarsgard's Double Chin is a character of its own. It deserves the world's standing ovation for eternity. Yes, some might say his eyes are the main character but for me personally (and to the girlies who also find double chins gob-smackingly sexy), his double chin when he smiles is a whole dinner table I want to devour eternally. Let's dissect these sets of images that vividly displays the previous information provided.

Image 1 Analysis

Firstly, look at how gorgeous and adorable he looks with that cute smile on his face. I simply can not BREATHE, but I will try my best to because I have to make my point. Secondly, this image has so many gems to analyze, and girl, I have my panties off, legs spread open and I'm ready to play.

To clarify things, I'm not a Bill Skarsgard obsessed fan girl (not that I have anything against anyone who does - I love that!), I recently just hopped on the train after watching Hemlock Grove (mind you I'm aware of his existence - Pennywise duh - I just never paid any attention to him because I had some other celebrity white men with brunette hair and blue eyes in my pants [I will get more into that this semester]), so I wouldn't know much about him as someone who has love him since day 1. To add on, I instantly fell in-love with him after the blood scene (I've mentioned this in the previous post but I'll say it again:

Roman Godfrey had my pussy by the clit the moment he sexually devoured that blood.

Back to the analysis. I do not know where this image of Bill was taken or when, but I'm pretty sure this was taken during a press conference of the John Wick 4 movie. Girl, his whole demeanor had my pussy throbbing and craving his slickness. After the movie, I felt like I was pregnant with his baby. His whole appearance was a breeding session for me, and I dropped from heaven when the movie ended.

Case study question: Why is this image devour worthy?

Firstly, it's Bill Skarsgard. He is devour worthy. Secondly, his smile isn't too wide to hide away his double chin. You can see that he has more meat to his cheeks which makes the smile more heavenly. I must say, having a kid does make him more daddyfied not that he wasn't before but all that daddy weight just makes me want him to daddy me.

Moving on, his eyes are literal definition of perfection. If he smiles and looks at me like that, the eggs in my ovaries would automatically be fertilized, conceived and I'd be ready to birth his kid in a few seconds after all that interaction.

Finally, I love this picture because it makes him human. You can see his perfectness and you can also see his flaws. Others might consider the hairstyle unattractive, I find that attractive. It makes him more human, imperfect and real.

Image 2 Analysis

Okay girlypops, I'm just going to come out and say it. I don't care how many people are sitting with him at whatever event this is, if I was there, I would literally get on my knees and start giving this man the gluck gluck three thousand. While doing that, I'd command him to just sit like that with his arms crossed, with that smile and look on his face, til I make him come with my mouth. I need to worship this man. My desires for him are cannibalistic and religious at this point. And, this image right here heightens those desires and urges for me.

Case study question: Why is this the sluttiest image of Bill?

As a girly that finds men rolling their sleeves to their forearms slutty, I also find men in turtle-necks, sweaters and textured long coats slutty and horny as hell. If this image of Bill was a dildo, I would fuck myself with it till Satan repents. The way he leans back on his chair, with his arms crossed below his chest that is not too firm to have his clothes looking too tight but enough to see that he is comfortable. This sight is such a fine art. Forget about looking at Renaissance paintings, this is all the renaissance you need to have your pussy coming over and over again.

Finally to the best part: His double chin. His jaw is so perfect that when leans back and smile, his double chin becomes too perfect. Just the perfect amount of mound for a Bill Skarsgard fangirl to devour eternally. The double chin is a god in this image. Everything else comes second. The double chin also enhances his emotions, therefore making his smile more bubbly, cheerful and innocent. It's inviting and it speaks to the viewers or whoever he is interacting with that he is comfortable with the conversation and the environment he is in.

Image 3 Analysis

Girlies, this image here is a real one. I adore this image. It shows how authentic, flawed and real Bill is. It shows him in the act - that is him interacting with people as he always does. His hair, eyes, nail, neck, double chin, teeth, nose, cheeks and forehead looks so organic. I love that. In a world that has a lot of people playing around with their looks to look so perfect, this image here is a breath of fresh air.

Case study question: How perfect can this image be?

This image is already perfect because everything in this image is not perfect. Yes, I meant NOT PERFECT. Once again, images like this make me desire him more. His humanness makes him more devouring and attractive (this sounds so cannibalistic but if you get the metaphor, you understand). The most vital part of his face that is so slutty is his double chin. My pussy is getting sluttier just looking that double chin (if only I can sit on it).

A special gem that I have identified from this image that makes my heart and pussy throb at the same time is the smile wrinkles at the side of his eyes. If I was given the chance to build a house and live on those wrinkles, I would definitely take that chance. I honestly think they enhance his beauty and his smile and make him more divine and desirable.

Conclusively, I am a whore and slut for Bill Skarsgard's double chin. I am also a whore for men with double chins like Bill (not Bill being an influence lol). I also go slutty for his cheeks when he smiles. His smile make my panties soak and the wrinkle at the side of his eyes make me want to go sexually feral for that man.

The point here is that women find the non-sexual things about men sexual. Sometimes it's the least attractive thing on a man that makes a woman go feral for him. Other times, it's the small movements that the man does that make the woman wet for him. Ageism and a bit of body changes such as weight gain can enhance those physical features of the man and make him 20 or 30 times attractive. That is why some of us girlies have daddy issues. It's not our fault the man we like are older, authentic and more enhanced.

[ill-skillsgard]

Smoke & Money, Chapter 2 - Bill Skarsgård

Title: Smoke & Money

Warning: 100% NSFW, some drug use, swearing, sex/fetish/kink type situations

Description: A young sex worker gets tangled in the dangerous web of a wealthy entrepreneur whose tastes push her past all of her known limits.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Weeks went by and the weather warmed up to the point when I could finally turn the heat off and save a little on bills. Work was steady and I had procured a couple of new clients. One wanted a contract with me for once a week on the same day. At first, I refused him but then he upped his paying amount from 300 a night to 500 a night to secure the same night that would fit into his busy work schedule. A thousand a month. That was my rent for only 4 sessions. After mulling it over I decided I would take his offer if he did away with the contract. My request didn’t sit well with him at first and he threatened to go elsewhere until we reached a compromise. 400 for once a week, every week until renegotiation. No contracts, only my promise.

A promise that would be broken. It was Wednesday night and I was getting ready to leave to meet my newest weekly client when I received an e-mail from an address I had never seen before. The subject line was familiar though.

1,000 tonight.

The email address matched the initials from the first time. Only now instead of a random email address, it seemed to be his personal address. B Skarsgard. I wondered what the B stood for. “My rich shoe dude is a rich Scandinavian dude by the sounds of it.” I opened it eagerly.

Come here again tonight?

B.S.

My top teeth sank into my bottom lip. I already had my client and it wasn’t polite to cancel without any notice. Fuck.

I can’t tonight. I’m busy with another client. Pleased to come tomorrow if you like?

J.

I frowned as I sent off my most unfortunate declination. I did make a verbal agreement already and as much as I’d rather shine shoes than put an old cock down my throat, I was a woman of my word. That was until I received the next e-mail.

No. Come now. I’ll double it.B.S.

Oh fuck. I was not passing up two grand. I couldn’t. My inner broke hoe was practically in tears over this. Fuck it. I had to go where the money was. It took me a long time to come up with an excuse to duck out on my client, long enough to receive another email from Mr. Skarsgard.

Shall I send a car?

B.S.

Yes. What should I wear?

Same thing as last time. No panties though

B.S.

Oh, finally it gets interesting. I laughed to myself. As if getting paid two thousand dollars wasn’t interesting enough already.

It was like an instant replay. Same car, same driver, same niceties. I was driven to the huge estate, let out of the car and walked inside. “You remember the way, miss?” The driver asked. “I do. Thank you.” I took the stairs one by one, letting my hand glide up the polished wooden banister as I ascended. This time there was no smoke floating from the open doorway. Down the hall, I walked until I reached the second door on the left. Once more I was met with the figure under the canopy. This time though there was a new pair of shoes, a rag and shoe polish. The shoes had a pointed toe and gold buckles. The rag was brand new.

His weight shifted on the bed and out of the shadow of the canopy I saw his feet and legs emerge to plant on the floor. I saw his elbows come to rest on his knees. He was wearing the shoes from the first night. There wasn’t a scuff mark to be seen on them. Strangely, I was pleased. He wore black slacks, black socks, and a white tank top style undershirt. His limbs were long as befit a man that wore that size shoe. I could make out the contours of his biceps, the length of his arms down to the elegant hands. His face was somewhat visible enough for me to see he had thick brown hair all pushed back stylishly. His nose was long and upturned, almost elf-like with high cheekbones and sunken eyes. There was an unlit cigarette between his lips. The shadows cascading over him made it nearly impossible to make out any other distinctive features.

He was handsome, from what I could see.

“Please begin.” He gestured towards the shoes on the floor. This time they were closer to the bed.

For some reason, this atmosphere robbed me of the words I wanted to say. Moreover, the questions I wanted to ask. But a more successful girl had once told me, don’t ask too many questions because you don’t need too many answers.

I did what I was told and got on my knees before him and the shoes but before I could begin he paused me. He took the cigarette from between his lips and held it between to two fingers. “Did you forget your panties?” He asked, pointing at me with the cigarette in hand. “Yes, sir.” He leaned back, producing a lighter from his pocket to light the tip of his cigarette. “Good girl. In front of me, please.” As he exhaled a cloud of smoke I repositioned myself with my back towards him and made a deliberate show of bending over to retrieve the rag and shoes. With my jacket on you couldn’t see that I wasn’t wearing panties no matter how far down I bent.

A chill like ice water being poured down my back set my hands to shake. With my back to him, I felt vulnerable. He was silent save for the sound of burning paper and the soft exhalation of smoke.

“Take off your jacket.” His voice was hoarse with cigarette smoke.

I obeyed him immediately. Without hesitation, I removed the jacket, set it aside and resumed the task at hand. This time I worked with an extra arch in my spine, just for him. I heard him breathing and smoking his cigarette as I worked. I could not stop picturing what he looked like watching me.

Inside of the dark room, I began to feel light-headed. All the subtle sounds began to meld together. The head rush of polish and the stench of cigarettes overcame me. I caressed the stiff leather of the designer shoe over and over with my ass up. It became surreal when I heard his weight shift off the bed. By the shuffling of his shoes, I knew that he was now standing. Whether or not he was presiding over me or getting ready to strike me, my heart quickened. The nauseous feeling of anxiety numbed my arms and locked my elbows in place. His footsteps carried further away though. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him walking towards a serving cart laden with bottles and glass tumblers. Each footfall echoed off the walls of the room. The satisfying sound of his every step resonated. I listened carefully to what he was doing. I heard glass clinking and surely an expensive alcohol being poured. As he turned towards me, drink in hand, the soles of his shoes scraped against the floor.

He walked towards where I kneeled on all fours. With a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other, he approached. When a familiar pair of leather shoes entered my line of sight, that’s when I paused and looked up at him. His long legs were like stilts for the rest of him. I could not see his face as it was obscured by the glass and he was entirely too tall to take in.

“Don’t stop.” He said after swallowing a sip of his drink.

Quickly I took up polishing, averting my eyes from him.

I worked and worked away as he watched, sipped his drink and smoked his cigarette down to the filter. He left my side, presumably to put his smoke out in the ashtray beside his bed. I heard the mattress groan as he sat on it.

“Bring them here.”

His request caught me off guard but I obeyed. In one hand I picked up both shoes and started hobbling towards him on my knees and one free hand. When I got closer to the side of the canopy bed he kicked off his shoes and they fell by the side of his socked feet.

Somehow with no words exchanged I knew to bring him the new pair. I sat up on the meat of my calves, toes curled to the carpet and presented him with the left shoe for him to slip his foot into. I held the buckled shoe steady as he pushed his foot inside. With a gentle stamp of his sole on the floor, it went on and he lifted his right leg for the other. I did the same thing to him and then sat back again to look up at his shadowy face.

Finally, my eyes became adjusted to the darkness but there was scarcely any more detail of his face I could make out that I hadn’t already. By his silhouette, I could see he had a long neck that broadened out into square shoulders. When he leaned forward to rest his forearms on top of his thighs, his face came into view. Sitting there on the largest canopy bed I had ever seen was a man with lustrous brown hair, deep eyes hooded by a menacing brow bone and lips so full and so blushed that they looked like a cherub’s.

My my, what a pretty boy.

I did not expect him to stoop down towards me but he did and I couldn’t help but flinch. He lifted my chin with one of his long fingers. I could smell nicotine on his skin.

“Thank you Miss. That will be all for tonight.”

“Yes, sir.”

He touched the pad of his thumb to my bottom lip, examining me for a moment before leaning away.

“Your money is on the table.”

With a nod I stood up, the rush of blood to my legs was strong and I struggled not to waiver in front of him. After gathering my coat I left but not before taking the cash from the brass dish. I wasn’t sure if it was just me or what but the bills felt warm in my hand. Warm and somehow wrong. I was as confused as I was intrigued. I had heard of a lot of kinks before but this was something new. I had all the time in the world to draw my conclusions about him. Why was he paying me to do these things? It was no common foot-fetish. He had to be getting some sort of kick out of having a woman put his shoes on for him and the money… The money was another perplexing piece of this puzzle. Two thousand dollars just seemed like so much for so little. I had clients that would laugh in my face if I ever demanded that amount of money even for the most extreme requests.

I wondered what he got out of all this. The thought haunted me. Who was this man and why had I never heard of him before? In the sex work world, you were forced to make friends. I had girlfriends who did the same work as I did and we all had our network of communication. It was for gossip about clients or to warn each other of Johns who tried to dodge you or just the outrageous requests from some of the creme-de-la-creme of weird dudes who paid lots of money for hookers. If he was a very rich man who paid out stacks for stuff like that, I would have heard about it from one of the other girls.

The fact that I had never heard of this B. Skarsgard was unsettling so I took to my list of contacts to start digging around. The first person I tried was a girl who boasted having over thirty clients that she had regular sessions with. She had been in the game for a few years starting at the ripe age of nineteen. If I wasn’t mistaken she had to have been twenty-five by now and still gorgeous. Still pulling hard tricks on her own. The stories I had heard from her were unfathomable.

I didn’t want to be too forthcoming so I danced around the subject a little with her at first.

Have you ever had a client ask you to put his shoes on for him? I asked her via instant message.

No, not really. Well… kinda. But it wasn’t his shoes. I had a client ask to watch me give myself a home pedicure and then put on stockings and then my own shoes. Lol, why do you ask?

Haha, no real reason. I was talking with a friend and she said she had this new client who had a weird shoe fetish.

Shoe fetishes aren’t THAT weird. At least not to me. I wish I knew more guys who had them though… Free shoes.

What was the most you have ever made off one client that wasn’t a bluntly sexual request?

What do you mean? Give me an example.

Like… remember how that one girl Larissa said an old guy paid her 700 bucks to sit at his kitchen table and eat pieces of fruit while he watched? Like that type of thing lol.

Ooooh. Hm. I guess probably this one guy asked me to step on his balls in stilettos for 600 an hour.

Haha. Shit. People are weird.

Totally.

No, there was no evident trail leading to him. I asked around about any wealthy newcomers with some other friends but as far as anyone told me, they had been seeing all the same clients and any new ones were men over the age of forty. There was no talk of a young Scandinavian man. I must have been his first. My assumption gave the situation a whole new feeling. A warm feeling. I had always wanted to be someone’s first.

I found myself thinking about B. Skarsgard a lot during the day and even more at night. When would he call on me again? What would he have me do differently? Was he satisfied with what he had already gotten from me? It got to the point where I kept reading the e-mails we had exchanged and once I had read them, I read them over again. I even considered reaching out to him but my pride stopped me. I just left his e-mail address open with a blank template. No. That would appear too desperate, too needy.

Fuck, this is stupid.

I had heard of girls getting hung up on a client. Whether it was lust or the insult of a dismissal, there were plenty of grey areas to tread in when it came to my line of work. Not everything was as simple as giving and taking. There was always jealousy, hurt and danger. I myself had made it a very long way without any of the three complicating things for me. I wasn’t about to let it now. I deduced that if he wanted me again he would make it known. And make it known he did when one night, nearly a month after our last encounter, he reached out again. This time he did not use his go-to tagline. In fact, there was no subject line at all. Just his e-mail address floating at the top of my inbox.

Up for a visit? 1,000 if you can come tonight.

B.

I wasted no time in replying, Yes. I can come tonight.

Wear whatever you like this time.

B.

I immediately started getting ready. I whipped off the clothes I was wearing, threw my hair up in a bun and hopped into the shower. Never had I washed so quickly before. I chose a matching bra and panty set- black and lacy. Fool-proof. Nothing was as easy and sophisticated as black. It was a safe choice.

Although he didn’t request the jacket, I decided to take it upon myself to wear a new knee-length coat that I had bought myself with his money. I figured if he was going to pay me so handsomely, I’d treat myself to something I thought he might appreciate. Or perhaps he wouldn’t but either way, I thought it appropriate since it was dealer’s choice anyway.

The sleek BMW pulled up and off I went on another house-call. This time I had nerves about it all. My curiosity set my imagination fluttering off. What could be next, I wondered. Did his driver know what was going on between us? Would the client speak more to me this time and would I be able to see him close up? The third time I stepped into the foyer of his home I felt an odd sense of familiarity. I stared up at the arching ceilings and the framed paintings and wondered how the place would look in the daytime with the sun shining through the windows.

With purpose, I ascended the stairs. With each step, I felt my heart beat harder against my chest. By the time I reached the open doorway I could feel my pulse battering in my neck. Why all the mystery and why did I feel so vulnerable?

“Won’t you come in?” He asked when my pause at the door became too apparent.

“Yes, sir…” I started. “May I ask you a question?”

“Yes?”

“Why so much for what you ask? I would gladly accept less.”

Mr. Skarsgard stood up from his sitting position at the side of his bed. “Would you? Why is that?”

I bit my bottom lip and shrugged. “It just seems like a lot-”

“Do you not think your services are worth what I’m paying you?”

“No… That’s not what I meant. I just mean… I know people who would do a lot more for a lot less. Seems a little excessive to me, if you don’t mind me saying.”

He took a pack of cigarettes off the bedside table and produced a lighter from the pocket of his fitted pants. His eyes were on me as he retrieved a cigarette from the pack and stuck it between his lips.

“So what you’re saying is that you would do a lot more for me if I wished?”

“Yes.”

He approached me and at the same time, I noticed there were no empty shoes awaiting me in the center of the room. So as to not appear afraid, I took a step further into the room. He walked into the light cast by the window and my lips fell slightly apart. Well over six foot and devastatingly handsome, I felt the wash of arousal stir inside of me. That hadn’t happened in a long time. He was wearing a white tank-style undershirt, dark slacks, a leather belt and designer shoes again. I don’t think I had seen the shoes before but I also could not train my eyes away from his face to look hard enough.

I couldn’t say I found any of my regular clients that attractive but I didn’t find them that repulsive either. This man, however, was as gorgeous as he was intimidating. I watched, entranced as he lifted his hand to take the cigarette from his mouth, smoke pouring out of his nostrils. His tongue darted out to slide across his bottom lip. He was all long limbs and pale skin.

“What would you do for me?” He asked.

“Anything.”

“Anything?” He repeated, eyebrows raising. “Because on your profile you do have a rather long list of things you refuse to participate in. You would make certain exceptions for me?”

I was at a loss for words so much so that my mouth hung open for a moment. “For that amount of money? I could be coerced into bending my personal rules a little.”

Between puffs, he pointed his long fingers at me. “Yet you just told me you would accept less money.”

“I, um-”

He turned away and headed back towards his bed to the ashtray. “I’m not trying to trap you.”

“Alright.”

“You’ll accept what I give you and in turn, you will do as I say, does that sound like a fair arrangement to you?”

I swallowed the saliva flooding my mouth. “Yes, sir.”

“So far I’ve enjoyed your submission to me. I want to take it further.”

“Okay.”

“Yes… sir.”

“Yes, sir.” I corrected myself.

He stubbed out his cigarette, ran his hand through his hair and turned back towards me. “On your knees.”

I listened to him and he approached me with a certain lilt in his step that commanded my attention. His expression was firm and stuck on me kneeling before him. He bent at the hips and slid his spindly fingers around my neck, caressing and not squeezing, threading through the hair on the back of my head and pulling it taut. With his grip he pulled my head back, forcing me to look up at him.

“Show me your tongue.”

I let my tongue loll out of my mouth for him and never broke eye contact. He sucked on his bottom lip and let out a throaty purr. I watched as he sucked up all the saliva from inside his mouth, no doubt gathering it in a pool on his tongue. He lowered himself even closer to my face and let a long string of spit spill from his puckered lips onto my outstretched tongue. It was so warm and watery that it immediately dripped onto my chin and chest. When he swooped down and forced his open mouth over mine, sucking up what he had administered, he let out a moan that echoed down my throat and filled my lungs.

“Spit on the floor.” He whispered.

I did. I spit on the carpet in front of me and looked back up at him. His hand let go of my hair and he rose up tall. He began to unbuckle his belt. I could only watch to see what would happen next. My mouth was buzzing from the wet contact and by the shade of red his lips had turned, I could tell he felt the same sensation.

The leather of his belt slid smoothly against the material of his slacks when he pulled it free from the loops. Paralyzed, I watched him remove the belt and bend down to place it around my neck. He fed one end through the buckle and didn’t stop until the leather pulled snugly against my skin like a makeshift leash. He gripped the end of the belt, stood up again and tugged on it to get me moving. The restraint against my throat tightened as he pulled me forward to crawl through the puddle of spit that had just fallen from my mouth and hadn’t absorbed into the carpet.

“Crawl.” He commanded me.

So I did. I crawled like an animal with his belt around my neck and he led me. It was a struggle not to trip on the hem of my dress as I put one knee in front of the other. Each step he took was deliberate and slow, his legs extended out long and I was forced to keep up the pace or else choke as the leather noose tightened around my neck. He walked me towards the serving cart and then further. There was a door that I had not noticed during my first two encounters with Mr. Skardsgard. I wondered where it led to. An en suite bathroom? A sex dungeon? Before my mind could wander any further he stopped, turned and looked down at me.

One foot extended towards me. His shoes were Italian leather with three rows of lacing. I looked up at his face, awaiting his next command.

“Kiss them.”

He must have noticed my hesitation as he lifted the belt strap and it cut into my skin. “Kiss. Them.”

The leather had a distinct smell and felt cold against my skin as I puckered up and kissed the toe of his left shoe. To be thorough and avoid having the belt tighten again I kept going, placing small kisses all over the toe of his expensive shoe.

“Spit.”

Before I could amass enough of my own saliva he pulled my head up by the strap. “Wait wait, open your mouth.”

I locked eyes with him and let my jaw hang open. Once more he produced a dollop of spit and dropped it into my mouth only this time, it slid down into the back of my throat and I coughed to keep from swallowing it. “Now spit on them.” I let our collective drool fall from my tongue onto his shoe. It ran down the sides, over the seams, and onto the carpet beneath his sole. He stared down at me, slack-jawed, admiring the mess I was helping him make.

“Good.” He whispered, dropping the end of the belt he had been leading me with to the floor beside my hands.

“Now listen to me…” He said, bending at the knees to bring himself down to my level. “Never fucking question me. As far we go, you are bought and paid for, okay? You are mine when I want you, anytime, any day. When I call you, you answer. I’ll decide what I pay you and you will fucking like it. This isn’t some Fifty Shades bullshit, you hear me? I’m counting on your professionalism to make this work for the both of us.”

I nodded, “yes, sir.”

His eyes bore deep into mine, searching for any hint of defiance but there was none to be found. I had heard him loud and clear. It appeared as though I had a new top priority customer.

After a long stare, he nodded, stood back up and made his way over to retrieve his cigarettes. I watched him, still on the carpet on all-fours, his belt dangling from my neck loosely. He lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply.

“Good. Now you may go… And give the driver your contact information on your way out.”

“Yes, sir.” My voice had turned hoarse.  

Mr. Skarsgård left the room and as soon as the echoes of his steps faded away I sat up on my knees, slipped the belt off from over my head and stood up. It still felt like his spit was in my mouth and every time I swallowed I was swallowing more of him.

I let out the air that I was hoarding in my lungs for what seemed like the first time all night. Standing up made me feel light-headed and it took me a moment to find my equilibrium. With the belt in hand, I approached the canopy bed and laid it down gently on the duvet before turning to leave.

Questions in my mind were buzzing around like flies the entire ride home. Little questions with no answers. I kept watching the driver, wondering what kind of information he had and if I should chance a conversation about his employer. Before I got too carried away with the notion, I decided it best to mind my own business. That was an aspect of my job that I had many struggles with and even more so now that I was dealing with a particularly interesting client.

It was hard not to wonder what Mr. Skarsgård’s end game was and I knew it was going to be itching in the back of my head for a while. My sudden captivation sent me in search of ways to shake the strange feeling I got when I thought about him and what he wanted from me. All I had was the cash to remind me what I was doing this for.

It was never a good idea to get involved in a client’s business or to even ask questions about their personal lives. In fact, it was one of the golden rules of sex work. The less you knew, the better. Even if the roles were reversed, I had always snubbed men when they asked me about my personal life, if I had a boyfriend, what my other aspirations were or what my own end game was. Truth be told, I had no idea what my goal was but I’d never tell that to a John. My fake confidence was practically unshakeable when it came to their prying and that was good because it painted me into a picture of a hardcore mistress, a dangerous lady with a murky past. I was earning respect from those around me, no, I commanded it.

With all of the extra cash coming in I got this air about me whenever I met up with other customers. Suddenly I felt like my time was worth a lot more than what I had been initially charging. I was spoiled now and it felt good. Finally after all the blowjobs, old men, body hair and anxiety, I was getting what I needed to live the way I had envisioned.

Before I could go apeshit and spend all of my cash on shit I didn’t need I decided it best to pay off my late bills and start off on a clean slate, with the rest of the money stowed away in a box at the back of my coat closet. If I hadn’t acquired the cash using questionable methods, I would have opened a savings account but this felt way better.  

I was changing. I was becoming a night-walking bad-ass bitch with the money and all the right shoes for all occasions. So quickly had I shed the skin of the poor chick and emerged as a Queen of pain and love like the girls I had learned from. This was nice. This was really, really nice.