#this comic really fucking gets to me with the emotions damn it

[zephra85]

I actually burst into tears, like literal tears, streaming down my face, right now, at reading the last El Goonish Shive.

Pandora renamed herself Hope.

She no longer sees herself as being the holder of chaos unleashed unto the world. It's not how she wants to be known anymore.

But rather, at what was left in the box after all the bedlam was expelled.

The Hope, but not for humanity I'd imagine. Rather... for herself.

That's so fucking clever and deep and I can't believe how immediate my tears were reading that. Just instant waterfall.

[poisonousquinzel]

Batman: Urban Legends (2021 - ) #1

Hi, am thinking about Harley and Ivy gardening and setting up Ivy's greenhouse together because they should be allowed to embrace each other's passions and build each other up and help with the other's plans 💖💖 instead of it being an unnecessary sexist and ooc hurdle

(cough @ P*ul D*ni & Br*ce T*mm cough hahahahhahahhahah)

Cause really, Harley would love doing anything with Ivy and would 1000% count gardening with her as dates. It's daily dates! 💞🥺

She loves everything about her enchanting, plant obsessed lady. Ivy sees cool moss and is like !! Moss!! ❤️❤️ And Harley matches her enthusiasm not cause she loves moss but because she loves Ivy. And Ivy being happy and excited about something inherently is gonna make Harley happy because she loves it when her partners are thriving.

If she can help in that, she jumps at the chance. She may mess up and get distracted, but she loves and listens and notes what little things makes them tick because they're special to her.

Harley Quinn: Make 'em Laugh (2020-) #2 "Housewarming"

Like this!!! More of this!! She knew that the Bonsai tree was something Ivy would want to save if she went there and she knew it was something that would be in better hands in the care of Ivy anyway. And then in the end, even though she wasn't able to obtain the tree because of the guard robot, her snake swallowed a couple of rare seeds and hacked them up on Ivy's floor. A bit gross, sure, but Ivy's delighted!

"These--These are gargantua seeds! Some of the rarest in the world! Stolen from their rightful homes centuries ago, and all but extinct! Genuine man-eating trees! This is better than anything I could have dreamed of! Thank you!"

Lots of exclamation points when you write out the dialogue but skdjsksks like they're just so 💖💞💖💞💖 special to me

Omg and the "My Harls" 💞💞💞

And the loveliest "Garden" trope of them all for Harlivy, the Paradise/Eden/Utopia 💖🤌 my Fucking Beloved,,,, I've posted the bits here 💖 but like these ones ?!?

Batman (2016) #97

"She built this paradise for me in a cave system under the park, after a rough time with Mr. J... I wasn't ready to let go of him then, but he'd poisoned me....

This was kinda sorta my rehab clinic. That's why I wanted to bring you here."

"Ivy's usual rules are No Clothes In Eden, but I don't think you and I have that kind of relationship.

And if any of these plants have her residual personality, they'd probably try harder to eat you.

This is where I used to go with her to get my brain in order. To a point, anyways..."

Like the months they probably spent together throughout the years in Eden, their own secret safe haven, a place that Ivy would take her when she needed to get away from it all. And the way she says "if any of these plants have her residual personality, they'd probably try harder to eat you."

the plants probably reacted to Ivy's emotions whenever they were there before, there together. Just the two of them, nude, vulnerable and completely and utterly alone besides the other, far far beneath the world above.

Just the idea of casual vines, grass and ferns brushing lovingly against Harley's legs and arms as they walk together, a perfectly bloomed flower and it's stem wrapping around her bicep.

The two of them spending each night together in the bud of a rose Ivy grew, entrained and intertwined for warmth and comfort. The two of them gently washing each other's backs in the river, skinny-dipping in the dark and getting lost in the feeling of each other's skin against their own.

Ivy creating this perfect escape for them where they didn't have to worry about anything, money, food, cruel and vindictive ex's.

"Trying to cut my throat open was one thing, but then you come to burn down the only place I still like in this stupid city?" Batman (2016) #98 And if Harley ever did get too cold, if they happened to venture down in the colder months, the No Clothes Rules could always be fudged to mean no Human World clothes. She could craft her clothes just like she makes her own outfits.

But, really, they both enjoy the freedom and intimacy that comes from being fully exposed and naked around each other, the inherent vulnerability and trust.

And Harley always feels okay and loved in her presence, never feels like she needs to cover up her body, because Ivy has and would never make jokes about her body (she's not him.)

And Ivy's affection and sometimes shy nature when it comes to that direct deceleration is always evened out by the connected plants easy nature to show exactly how she's feeling. Like,, If she feels nervous about holding Harley's hand, well she better get on it because those pretty ferns that look purple and blue in the right light will not stop wrapping around her and tickling Harley's palms.

Even in the night, they'll wake up curled together, most of the time in the spooning position, but Harley always has a little visitor or two attempting to warm her alongside Ivy. It makes Ivy flush every time as she wills them away, but Harley loves it and she treasures the fact that Ivy trusts her so much, and loves her so deeply that her connection to the plant life around them is tuned in to the sheer overwhelming emotion she feels towards and about Harley every time she lays eyes on her silly little clown.

Harley wouldn't mention it, but she'd know. She is trained to notice those things 💞

Like, y'all, I am totally a-okay sobs hysterically

[beepbeepkazoo]

honestly i think i need to send paypal invoice to fujimoto, this all started cause i decided to read chainsaw man like 2 years ago

[kujousgf]

WUNDAGORE. 18+. mdni.

pairing: villain!wanda maximoff + avenger!reader

summary: wanda gets rid of that pesky memory block of yours

warnings: angst, emotional and mental manipulation, mentions of murder, pet names, reader is overwhelmed and confused, one (1) mommy, allusion to smut at the end

wc: 1.6k~

a/n: кошечка (koshechka) = kitty

The wind that blows past is frigid and the rocks underneath your hands are sharp-edged and cold as you stare up at the Scarlet Witch or whatever the hell Wanda was calling herself these days from your place on the ground. You’re tempted to try and kick her feet out from under her where she’s standing above you, catch her off guard and send her tumbling down the cliff, but you don’t. You just glare up at her, knowing that even if you managed to catch her off guard, she would never fall that easily. She would rise up like the most beautiful archdemon you’ve ever seen and deal whatever damage you’d dealt to her tenfold. To anyone who might be watching, lurking in the shadows but not daring to interrupt either of you, the look in your eyes is one of pure hatred, disgust in its purest form that mirrors the look in Wanda’s eyes. But you both know it’s not true, that the hatred disguises something much worse. Something you’d never admit even in the emptiest of places, something Wanda would only ever admit in your dreams. Something that would destroy you both if you’re not careful. 

“You’re disgusting.” You spit, icy and cold. “Destroying those universes like it’s nothing, like they’re nothing.” You finally get your bearings back, standing up and clenching your fists at your side, trying your best not to just hit her, punch her, shove her down, anything. “All for what? So you can get back a man who tried to kill you?” Jealousy. “A man who wanted to destroy the universe and start over to create the perfect humanity? You know, the more I think about it, the more I think maybe the two of you really are meant for each other.” 

“Shut the fuck up!” Wanda hisses, and you think she might push you down again, but instead she pulls you closer to her by your collar. You can feel her warm breath against your skin and you have to repress a shiver. “You think that you know everything about everyone, don’t you? You think I’m doing this for that man? You think any of this is for him?” She laughs like you’ve just said the most absurd thing she’s ever heard. “You really are stupid, aren’t you?” It’s almost comical to her that you really think that, that you’re so god damn blind that you can’t see what’s right in front of you. She knows why you can’t see it, of course, but she hadn’t always realized how susceptible you were. You can’t see that she’s been trying to find another universe, any other universe where you don’t hate her anymore, where she didn’t fuck everything up and the Avengers didn’t take you away from her. 

She knows she should stop talking, she knows she should shut her mouth before she makes things worse, but she can’t stop herself. She knows how to play the role of the villain to a T now, and if the only way she gets to be close to you again is to make you cry then so be it. “You think you’re better than me because you kill people in the name of the Avengers instead of your own?” She laughs, her grip on your shirt tightening. “I have some news for you, little hero, you’re certainly no better than I am. What is it that keeps you there, anyway? You know you don’t belong there.” It’s a low blow, but she knows how true it is even if you no longer do, “Is it the Russian? Do you stay so you can see the look of approval in her eyes whenever you kill someone for her?” Jealousy. “But you’d do it even if she didn’t ask. I’d say you and I are rather the same, wouldn’t you?”

“Fuck you!” The smirk that curls on her lips makes you nauseous and you push her away from you. You know that she let you, loosened her grip on your shirt so you could feel like you’re even half as strong as she is, but you don’t care. “I think that I know everything? What about you! Acting like you know anything about me besides what my blood looks like on your hands.” Your hands are shaking both because of the look Wanda gives you and because you’re upset that she would ever bring up Natasha. Upset at the possibility that this encounter would taint your relationship with the Russian redhead, that Wanda’s words would burn at the back of your mind like acid. Because it’s not true, what she said is not true. You don’t like killing those people, you don’t like seeing their blood on your hands or seeing the light drain from their eyes. You don’t like it. You don’t. 

Wanda doesn’t have to look into your mind to know what you’re thinking, it’s written all over your face. She knows she hit a sore spot with that comment. “I don’t know anything about you?” She tilts her head, taking a step towards you as you take one away from her. “You always talk,” another step forward, “like you know,” and another, “what you’re saying” and then another, you try to take another step backward, but your back hits the jagged wall of the cave, “but you don’t, do you?” Wanda hadn’t been this close to you since she had nearly torn your heart out of your chest and it was making you dizzy. Had she always smelled this familiar and good? You’re very purposefully avoiding eye contact, not wanting to see the satisfaction in her eyes at having cornered you. Suddenly you feel Wanda’s hand gripping your face and forcing you to look at her, “No, you don’t. I’ll fix it, don’t worry.”

Wanda’s eyes glow red for just a minute and you feel like there’s a fog in your brain being lifted before your memories crash down on you like a tidal wave. Wanda’s eyes go back to their regular green color and her hand moves to cup your cheek, her darkened fingertips tapping against your skin. She gives you a second, knows this is going to be a lot for you. She did just unlock over 5 years of forcefully forgotten memories after all. She wasn’t going to do this, it will result in everything the Avengers have at their disposal being thrown at her for taking away their leverage over her, but they shouldn’t have let you come alone and she was growing rather tired of hearing you hurl insults at her and seeing the way you beamed up at Natasha whenever she caught the two of you together. This was poor planning on the Avengers’ part, that’s all. 

Suddenly you feel nauseous, every memory you’ve ever had with Wanda hitting you with full force. You feel like you’ve just gotten a metal bat to the gut and then again to your head. You don’t know what to think. Was this real? Did Wanda plant those in your head? No, that didn’t seem right. This would certainly explain the way certain Avengers acted around you and the way you felt when Wanda was near. You were explaining that away as anxiety, nervousness over being so close to someone to dangerous and vile. You lean into the warmth of Wanda’s touch before you can even think about stopping yourself. She can see the way your mind is racing, how your pupils are blown as you try to piece everything together. Eventually, you look up at her with those doe eyes you used to use on her and she almost tears up. “Wanda?” There you are. 

“Hi, кошечка. You must be so confused, huh? I know it’s a lot, but I promise things will be better now.” Your head spins at her words and her tone, that tone… everything is too much and not enough all at once. Too much information, but at the same time not enough. Why didn’t you remember any of that before? Why were you ever trying to hurt Wanda? Why was she hurting you back? Was she hurting you back? Why had she been doing all of those horrible things? Your Wanda would never do those things. Except, well, this was your Wanda, so surely that makes it excusable, right? But if she was your Wanda, why weren’t you with her? Wanda taps against your cheek to catch your attention again, noticing how unfocused your eyes are as you spiral in your own mind. “Those Avengers were so mean to take you away from me like they did, trying to turn you against me.” 

“I don’t… I don’t understand. Why would they do that? I thought they were supposed to be nice, why would they take me from you? Why would… why?” You’re slowly putting the pieces together while trying to cope with the fact that for the past two years you’ve been treating your… your Wanda like an enemy. Your tough exterior is cracking and crumbling as each second goes by, no longer being kept back by the mental barrier you didn’t even know was there. “Oh, my sweet girl, because they’re not nice. They’ve been keeping you like a caged animal, using you like a weapon and tricking you into trusting them.” Wanda’s voice soothes you if only slightly, but the thought of being used like that has you so angry and overwhelmed with all the emotions clashing in your head that you can’t help but let out a quiet whimper, tears forming in your eyes. Wanda coos, bringing you closer and holding you against her chest. She strokes your hair, humming softly before she speaks again, “It’s okay, mommy’s got you. I’ll make it all better, don’t worry.”

[cxrdycxps]

God’s Favorite/Devil’s Choice • Ellie Williams

☢️ religious trauma • child abuse (emotional and physical • mental illness • physical illness • emotional trauma • death ☢️

Main Masterlist • Ellie Williams Masterlist

“Momma?” You asked quietly, watching out the window at the back yard. The winter had hit Jackson hard which left the entirety of the town covered in snow and frost. It looked like someone had forgotten to draw in the details of real life.

“Yes, Baby?” Your mother hummed from her spot in the living room, feet up on the coffee table and book in her hand.

You looked down at the water your hands were in and the dishes you had just washed from dinner. You weren’t sure if you should ask but the question was eating you up inside. “Was all that really true?”

“All what, Baby?” Your mother asked. You released the water from the sink and clambered down from the chair you stood on carefully. You returned the chair to the dining table and moved slowly towards the living room, half hiding in the doorway.

“Am I really going to hell?” You asked her softly and she chuckled, patting the space beside her on the sofa. You joined her, climbing up on the cushion beside her.

“I wish you weren’t.” She sighed, pulling you onto her lap and holding you close. She rocked you slightly as you sniffled. “I’ve been trying to save your soul since birth but some people, well they’re just damned.”

You cried into her chest and she rocked you quietly, shushing you. Her hand ran up and down your back slowly and you had almost drifted to sleep when she tapped your leg. “You can’t sleep yet.”

You blinked at her sleepily before nodding, climbing down off her lap and stumbling towards the little cupboard under the stairs. You were five now. You had to say your prayers for an hour every night before bed.

The door to the closet closed behind you and plunged you into darkness. You didn’t like this part. You were afraid of the dark but your mother told you that you had to pray in here. You had to try and save your soul from hell.

///

“Well this just fucking sucks, doesn’t it?” You winced when Ellie dropped herself at your table, her arms crossed. She looked around and then looked back to you. “Why do you sit on your own? Are you the town freak, am I committing social suicide on my first day of school?”

You didn’t want to tell her. In fact you would die for just one friend that your mother hadn’t run away with her Bible rhetoric but you knew this wouldn’t last long. She was rough, always swearing and she seemed to be more world weary than you. Your mother didn’t like you to know a lot about what went outside the walls of Jackson because it opened your mind to sin.

“You kind of are.” You told her quietly. She looked around again at the other tables before shrugging and picking up her sandwich. “Dina is pretty cool. You could sit with her.”

“I’ve never been cool. I was a loser back in my old school and I met my best friend that way. Don’t want to break my lucky streak now.” She spoke with food in her mouth and grinned at you. You winced but couldn’t help the little laugh you gave her. It would be nice to have a friend for a little while again.

“Have you ever heard of Savage Starlight?” Ellie asked and you shook your head. This launched her into a massive spiel on what had to be the greatest comic book ever made and she informed you about all the characters and story lines she had gotten to read.

“‘Course I don’t know how it ends which is fucking annoying but I suppose that’s my little taste to understand how surviving the outbreak was hard. What about you?” Ellie asked and you blinked at her before shrugging. “Got any hobbies?”

“Not really. I got a lot of chores to do after school. I don’t really get time.” You explained and Ellie scrunched her face up. “It’s just me and Momma. I gotta help her out cause she’s not able to get around that easy.”

“Oh. Was she hurt?” Ellie asked softly and you smiled at her thoughtfulness but shook your head. “What then?”

“She’s getting old, she says. So I have to help. That’s my job as a daughter, you know?” You explained and she seemed to be pondering the thought before shrugging.

“I mean I’m an orphan, so not really. Joel doesn’t make me do chores because he’s boring and likes doing them. Says it reminds him of before.” Ellie explained and you nodded. It made sense.

“Were you always an orphan?” You asked and she nodded, sipping at her water. “My pa died before I was born too.”

“Nice. I don’t actually know if my dad died but I’ve been in an orphanage since basically my birth. Joel is kind of like my dad except not, you know?” Ellie asked and you shook your head. You hadn’t really ever had a dad around so you couldn’t really relate.

“Not really but I’m glad you have someone.” You told her and she smiled brightly at you.

“I think now I have two someone’s.” You shared her smile a little reluctantly. Ellie was nice, you knew that made it hurt more when they didn’t want to be friends anymore.

///

“That girl, with the swearing? Is she in your class?” Your mother asked. You were stood at the sink, staring out at the back yard. Summer had come and the flowers you had planted in the spring were all in bloom. You were rather proud of them.

“Ellie?” You asked for clarification but you knew it could only be her. She had been at the Tipsy Bison with Joel for dinner and she had been swearing up a storm. “The new girl?”

“Yes, the new girl. Don’t be daft on purpose, it doesn’t suit you.” You ducked your head focusing on the warm water your hands were in. “Is she in your class?”

“There’s only one class, Momma.” You sighed and heard the sofa creak as your mother stood from her seat. You counted the foot steps it took for her to get to you.

“That sort of cheek is the reason you’ll never get past the gates of heaven.” Your mother snapped and you winced in preparation when she took a handful of your hair and pulled you towards the cupboard under the stairs. “I don’t know why I even try with you anymore. Get in there.”

The closet had gotten cramped with age but still you were supposed to fit in and pray for at least an hour when your mother got like this. She didn’t pray with you but she did expect you to pray out loud without any pauses or noises of shuffling around.

Your eyes would adjust in a few minutes and you would have to find a cramped position in which you could be comfortable because any sign of stiffness or soreness would be seen as a regret for having prayed and earn you another hour.

“I can’t hear you.” Your voice raised in level and you counted the prayers out on your fingers hoping you didn’t miss one. She wouldn’t tell you until after and you’d have to start all over again. Tears of frustration pricked at your water line and you did your best to keep your voice steady.

You hadn’t been cheeky. You were just answering her question. She was so convinced of your damned soul that she took any chance to try absolve your sins immediately after you had committed them. You weren’t sure why you weren’t able to go a day without sinning but you knew deep down your mother was right. You were awful and you would go to hell because you had been lying to her.

You and Ellie had been friends for weeks now and she had understood when you told her that your mother didn’t like you having friends. She never approached you outside of school when you were with your mother and it had turned into one of the longest friendships you’d ever had without her to get in the way.

So you prayed a little harder for your lies and begged god not to remove the first good thing that had happened to you in years.

///

“Joel is teaching me to play guitar.” Ellie told you quietly. You were supposed to be filling out your math worksheets together but both you and Ellie were very good at math and had finished them in the first five minutes. “He wanted to be a singer when he was younger.”

“Is he any good?” You asked, laughing at the idea of big Joel Miller singing the gospel music your mother played for you when she was in a good mood.

“I think so. He’s good at country at least. I don’t know about all those old pop songs that he sings while he’s washing dishes. He just looks and sounds stupid then.” Ellie told you with a grin and you laughed again.

“He seems really fun. Me and Momma don’t have fun like that.” You told her, hand reaching up to sooth your scalp that had been burning. Four times this week she’d dragged you by your hair to pray.

“I wish you could come over to our house. Joel could make dinner and you could see the garage. I basically live on my own.” Her chest puffed out and you were in awe. You’d like to live on your own you think.

“I wish I could too. I could see all your comics and posters.” You sighed wistfully and she bumped her shoulder against yours.

“I’ll just bring them all in one by one for you to see.” She promised and you smiled brightly at her, swallowing against the almost sick feeling you got in your stomach when Ellie was nice to you.

“I know you’re gonna say this is sappy but you’re my best friend, you know that?” You asked her and she laughed.

“I’m your only friend, Angel.” That nickname seemed like it was gonna stick. Ellie had chosen it when she asked why you always paused before eating your lunch. When you had explained that you were praying she had tagged you with the nickname despite your protests that you were far from an angel.

“You’re still the best.” You promised her and she laughed, resting her head on your shoulder for a minute before straightening up again. Ellie didn’t like saying sappy stuff so she chose to touch you in some way instead, it was how she showed she liked someone. “Yeah, I know. You love me too.”

She laughed and pushed you away but you noticed her cheeks turning pink and you knew you had hit the nail on the head. You were her best friend too. You’d never had that before.

///

“Momma?” You climbed the stairs slowly, surprised to not find your mother in the living room when you got home from school. There was no reply to your call and you found the bathroom door wide open along with your mothers bedroom door.

But yours was shut tightly.

You weren’t sure why your heart was pounding as you stepped closer to the door, your hand reaching for the door knob. You took a deep breath and turned it, pushing the door open.

Your room was destroyed, everything pulled out of place, all of your books open and tattered on the ground. Your dresser drawers were overturned on the ground with your clothes spilled everywhere. “Momma?”

She was sitting on the edge of your bed, just waiting and watching your reaction. You looked around again and then back to her for explanation. “Are you okay?”

Your stomach was sinking and your lungs were constricting. She knew something she shouldn’t know and you only had one secret when it came to your mother. There was only one you couldn’t share. Ellie Williams.

“You’ve been very careful.” Your mother noted casually. Like she wasn’t in the middle of your upturned room, like she hadn’t made this mess. “Not even a trace of her.”

Of course there wasn’t. She had wanted you to bring home some of her comics but you had denied her. All the little notes she had written you were tucked away in your workbook in class. You knew better than to think you had that level of privacy at home. “Trace of who, Momma?”

“Ellie Williams.” Her tone was cold and you stayed in the doorway, not daring to get any closer to her when she was like this. It was a long way down the stairs to the cupboard if she got your hair now.

“I don’t know what you mean, Momma.” Your voice shook and she laughed at you. You didn’t know how your mother made such an expression of joy manage to be the exact opposite, cold and unfeeling.

“If I didn’t know better then I’d believe you.” She said and you swallowed, looking around again like you had been careless enough to forget something. “But when Joel Miller approached me to ask could you have a sleepover, promised it wouldn’t interrupt your chores. I had to pretend to know that you’d been talking to his girl.”

You felt faint. Your hand reached out for the door frame to steady yourself when your knees buckled. You had been so careful but not careful enough.

Your mother lifted her hands and settled a long black belt over her lap, smoothing the leather of it with her index fingers. It was your belt and you suddenly had to fight the urge to vomit.

“I always knew your soul was damned.” She sighed like the weight of the world rested on her shoulders. “But I never could’ve guessed to what extent. You’ve broken two commandments.”

“Momma, I didn’t.” You spoke quickly, fear pulsing adrenaline around your body. “I didn’t lie to you. I promise. I never told you that we talked because we sit beside each other in class. We aren’t friends, Momma. She just doesn’t understand that I have other priorities, Momma.”

The words burned you to speak them. It felt a greater sin to forsake Ellie’s friendship than to lie to your mother and when the tears pricked your eyes you knew it to be true. “I’m sorry, Momma.”

“You’ve just lied to me again, haven’t you?” She asked and you nodded slowly. There wasn’t a god on this world or the next that would have you deny Ellie.

“She’s nice to me, Momma. She doesn’t treat me mean the way everyone else does.” You explained through your tears. “I just wanted one friend. Just one.”

“You have one friend. The only friend you need. Jesus Christ who died for your sins.” Your mother stood and walked towards you.

“It’s not a sin to love Ellie, Momma. She’s my best friend.” Your mother froze in place, her eyes narrowed at you. You realized your mistake a second too late. “Not like that, Momma. We’re just friends.”

“Praying ain’t enough for you, child.” She handed over the belt and you stared at it in confusion. You had expected her to hit you with it. Maybe you were too harsh on your mother. “Go on, ten lashes.”

“You want me to-”

“Over your back. You’ll have to take your top of but self flagellation will work better than prayer. Don’t go easy either, if it don’t hurt it ain’t working.” She urged and you stared at her, bile crawling up your throat. “Come on now.”

“Momma, I didn’t do anything wrong.” You sobbed but she didn’t move, watching you with those cold eyes. “Momma.”

“Ten. I’ll count.”

///

“Dude, where the hell were you?” Ellie exclaimed when you took your seat next to her almost four days later. She wrapped an arm around your shoulders and you fought the hiss of pain, leaning into the comfort of her embrace.

You had suffered for this sin, you might as well commit it now.

“Got sick.” You explained and she let you go, looking you over. You knew how you looked. Your eyes were puffy and you were walking with a stiffness that came from being on your knees praying for almost three days straight.

“Damn, you look like hell.” She whispered and you couldn’t help the laugh. Hell was only the half of it. You had been through it all and back again in the last four days and you had made a decision.

You were choosing Ellie. No matter the pain or the punishment, you weren’t going to lose Ellie. You’d rather face an eternity of Hell in the afterlife than choose a moment without her in this one.

“I missed you.” You told her quietly and let your head rest on her shoulder. It pulled at your back but the comfort outweighed the pain you were feeling and so you didn’t move. “I missed you a lot.”

“I missed you too.” Ellie promised quietly, her head resting against yours. “And don’t be mad but Joel totally put his foot in it the other day. He asked you mom why you couldn’t sleep over. He didn’t know it was a secret.”

“Oh.” You tried to keep your voice steady. “She never said anything. Probably thought he had the wrong person.”

“Thats a relief. I didn’t want you to get in trouble over me.” Ellie sighed and the pair of you sat up when class began. Ellie kept her leg firmly against yours though and you were grateful for the comfort it offered.

When lunch came about Mrs Collins called your name and held you back while everyone else went to get food. You made you way up to her desk and she gave you a gentle smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.” You promised her. Your mother had told everyone that you had been sick. You weren’t sure why it wasn’t a sin when she lied.

“Your mother told me you got a pretty nasty case of food poisoning?” Mrs Collins asked and you nodded, wondering was this another sin to pray for. “She also made a strange request.”

Your heart dropped and you looked back over your shoulder to where Ellie was waiting for you in the doorway, her back to you both. “Please don’t.”

“You want to tell me why she wouldn’t want you sitting by Ellie?” Mrs Collins asked and you shook your head, tears in your eyes. “If Ellie is hurting you or being mean to you then you can tell me.”

“No. She’s my best friend. Please don’t. I’m not allowed see her outside of school.” You explained in a rush, knowing you shouldn’t be sharing this much.

“Okay. It’s okay.” Mrs Collins insisted and you wiped at your face to dry the tears you didn’t mean to shed. “You and Ellie can stay beside each other. I’ll tell your mother I separated you both.”

///

“Only two weeks left.” You and Ellie were sixteen now, sitting with your backs against the school house. Well, Ellie was sitting back, you were a little more mindful of how the rough stone might hurt.

“What are we going to do then?” Ellie still didn’t understand the extent of your reasoning for why your mother couldn’t see you both being friends. She thought that you were old enough now to just make your own decisions.

“Well we could work together right? Your mom can’t stop that. You have to work in Jackson.” That much was true but you knew Ellie wanted to patrol just like Joel did. She had the urge to always be trying to save the world and you knew your mother wouldn’t allow it.

“You want to patrol. I’ll probably end up a waitress or in the greenhouses.” You sighed and ran a hand over your face. Ellie laughed a little and reached for your hand, tangling your fingers together and you paused, staring at them.

Ellie was turning steadily red but she didn’t let go, she tightened her grip and tugged so you’d turn to look at her. “I do want to patrol. But I want to spend time with you more. I can clean dishes or something if needs be.”

You stared at Ellie, your head tilted slightly as you studied her. She didn’t hide from you but she was blushing fully this time. You stared a second longer.

Oh.

Oh.

“Ellie.” You sighed before laughing. She attempted to free her hand but you held on tighter. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“How?” She exclaimed and it seemed like she had been holding this in for a long time with how it burst out of her. “I know you’re like super religious and most religious people hate gay people and we’re best friends and I don’t want to lose you.”

“Ellie.” You laughed again before reaching out and clasping her face in your hands. You didn’t give her a second, pulling her in and kissing her firmly. “I would walk into hell gladly knowing that I’ve held heaven in my hands.*”

“Oh you’re so fucking gay.” Ellie laughed and kissed you again, her fingers tangling in your hair. Those words should’ve terrified you but you had come to terms with it years ago while you willingly took lashings for punishment. You knew you’d take any form of torture to get to this point.

“I can’t tell anyone. Not yet. My momma will find out but Ellie, I’ve got a plan.” You promised and she smiled, her hand moving from your hair to cup your cheek.

“I haven’t told Joel yet. It’s okay.” She promised, her forehead pressing to yours.

///

You’d had a plan. It had been a good plan. Your best plan yet. Your plan did not factor Ellie and her teeth into account. The small mark she had made, definitely an accident, had given you away. Your mother had always been more than suspicious of Ellie and it seemed that even though a small bruise could be from any number of things it only made sense that it was her when paired with swollen lips and a light in your eyes.

“No.” She held the belt out to you and for the first time you refused it, shaking your head and crossing your arms. Fire burned in your mothers eyes and her jaw clenched.

“You have sins you need to repent for. You’ll burn in hell.” She cautioned and you felt the tears finally fall from your eyes, your bravery slipping away.

“Momma I love her. I’ve been in love with her since before I knew what it was.” You sobbed and she looked even angrier if possible. “How can this be wrong?”

“No child of mine will embarrass me like this before God himself.” Your mother insisted and you lifted your hands in desperation. “I won’t stand for it.”

“What more can you do?” You asked her quietly, desperately. Your love for Ellie wasn’t a flaw and it couldn’t be a sin. You didn’t want to be fixed or cured or healed. Something that felt this pure couldn’t be anything other than a blessing.

“I told you. I won’t have it.” Your mother insisted and you stared at her, unable to understand her threat. “The Lord says suicide is a sin but surely he’d understand I just couldn’t be tainted by your sin.”

“Momma, don’t do that.” You couldn’t help your tears. “It’s not bad. It’s not!”

“It is and you know it. You wouldn’t have hidden it if you weren’t ashamed of your sin.” She told you and you choked back on your sobs. “You knew that you’d never be without sin but to go and do this. I knew since you were born that you were filled with sin but I didn’t think it was cause you were one of them!”

“Momma! You know I can’t change it. I can’t. I love her.” You were choking on the tears and she only shook her head. “You can’t do that, Momma. You can’t.”

“You want me to stay alive then you stop seeing her.”

///

“Hey Angel, you okay?” Ellie asked and you blinked at her before shaking your head.

“I can’t do this. I thought I could but I can’t.” Your back was raw from the amount of repenting you had required the evening before.

“Can’t do what?” Ellie asked, unsure.

“This. Us. I thought I could reconcile it but it’s not something I can allow myself to do.” You told her, tears already flowing down your cheeks.

“What? Allow yourself to what?” Ellie asked. “Be fucking happy?”

“I won’t be happy if I move out of my Momma’s. I’ll never forgive myself for leaving her there.” You told Ellie honestly. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise this before.”

“You can’t be serious.” Ellie stared at you, her face guarded like you were going to laugh and tell her it was a sick joke. “You are serious.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You wanted her to understand but she was too heroic. She would try help if she thought this wasn’t your decision.

“Yeah. So am I for not taking your fucking word for it the first day I met you. I should’ve sat with someone else.”

///

“Saw your girl started patrol today.” You looked up from the soapy water in the sink to where your mother was standing by the back door. You blinked at her, coming out of the daze you had been in. “That ain’t no job for a woman.”

She had been horrible the last few weeks. Telling you all about Ellie’s coming and goings when you refused to leave the house for anything other than work. Washing dishes down at the Bison. Everyone had to do their part, you hated doing yours.

It wasn’t a bad job per se. You could zone out and let muscle memory take over as you scrubbed the plates clean. No one talked to you much on account of your mother and it got you out of the house for a few hours every evening.

The problem was Ellie came to the diner every night with Dina and Jesse. She didn’t linger and you doubted that she even knew you were in the back. But you always found a second to pause when you heard her voice, as familiar to you as your own heartbeat.

“You never had anything to say when any other women go on patrol. Maria’s been doing it since the walls went up.” Your head jerked back with her grip on your hair and her hand pressed to the spot between your shoulder blades causing you to hiss.

“I didn’t ask for your sass.” She warned and you blinked back tears from the pain. “I think you oughta get to praying.”

“I got work, Momma.” You told her and she gripped your hair tighter. Her hand dug into your back, nails pressing deep.

“Better go get the belt then if you’re in such a hurry.” Your mother spat and released your hair. “Every time you talk like that I get reminded that you’re a child of the devil.”

You had a hard time believing that having the devil for a mother would be any different than the Momma you had.

///

It was years before you saw the signs. You had turned twenty one under your mothers watchful glare. She threatened harm on herself if you so much as came home late from work. You wondered why you cared so much that she remained unharmed when you hadn’t been able to lie on your back for years.

It all became clear one night when you followed the noise of her downstairs. She was standing in the kitchen, looking around in confusion. “Baby, what’re you doing up so late?”

She hadn’t called you Baby in years. Not since before you had met Ellie. She claimed that no baby of hers could be full of sin. “Just checking you’re okay, Momma.”

“I’m fine. Just a little lost.” She told you, an airy laugh on her lips. “I can’t find the bathroom.”

She was standing in a puddle.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Dealing with her was both harder and easier after your discovery. Maria let you stay home and care for her when you went to her and explained what was happening. There wasn’t exactly a nursing home you could send her to.

She began to pass through phases, a different version of your mother every time you talked to her. Sometimes you had your Momma back, a sweet woman who told you how pretty you’d grown to be. Sometimes you had your mother, the one who remembered Ellie.

Then one morning, the month you were turning twenty two, you had no mother. She had fallen asleep in her rocking chair and that was where you found her.

You sat with her for a long time. Just staring at her and wondered when it had gotten to the point that you stopped caring about her. Her death didn’t seem to have done anything besides giving you a sense of freedom you had only ever felt once before with Ellie’s lips on yours and her hands in your hair.

You found it within yourself to change her and wash her. She wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to do it. You laid her out in her own bed and then made your way down to the clinic to get a doctor to finally free you from her.

///

You had elected not to have a funeral service for your mother. You hadn’t even attended her burial yourself. No one had liked your mother, not even you. Maria had tried to sympathize with you but you hadn’t let her. She was the only one who tried.

You found yourself moving out of her house and into a small one bedroom cottage Maria had offered up. You returned to the Bison to wash dishes. You lived a boring life without prayers or belts or a constant ache on your scalp from having your hair pulled out by the root.

You could read books and leave the dishes overnight and play music that didn’t mention Jesus. Your back healed up but would forever be scarred but you knew without a doubt that your pain was at an end.

It had ended alongside her heartbeat and you knew for sure it was a bad thing to think but you no longer punished yourself for bad thoughts.

You no longer punished yourself.

///

A knock on the door gave you a pause and you looked up from your book to the living room window but you couldn’t see your front porch from the angle you were sat at. Just the pouring rain that had washed into Jackson a couple of days ago.

You pushed yourself up and answered the door, expecting Maria who came to check up on you monthly to make sure you hadn’t succumbed to madness while being so isolated.

It wasn’t Maria. It was Ellie.

She was soaked, rain water running down her hair and face into her clothes. You couldn’t say anything and chose instead to just stare at her as she left a puddle on your porch.

“Your mom died?” She asked and you marveled in how you had gone from speaking to her every day for almost four years to have gone longer without her words aimed at you.

“She did.” You answered slowly after a few minutes of just the rain for background noise. You continued to stare at her.

“I’m sorry.” You blinked, falling out of your trance at the condolences she offered. You folded your arms across your chest.

“What do you want Ellie?” You didn’t mean to sound harsh but you didn’t want her apologies. You wanted her to leave so you could get on with your quiet life.

“I want to know if she was the reason.” Ellie stopped pretending the second you did, grim determination on her face.

“We were kids, Ellie.” You sighed and she wiped the water off her face and clenched her jaw. “You can’t be still thinking about it.”

“Still thinking about it?” She exclaimed. “I ain’t stopped thinking about you. I’ve spent the last six years wondering if your mom wasn’t around would we be together.”

“Ellie.” You sighed heavily, stepping back from the doorway. She looked panicked for a second and you opened the door wider. “Come in before you catch your death.”

///

You got Ellie clothes to change into and a towel to dry herself off. When she returned to your living room she was wrapped in your clothes, toweling her hair dry. You had lit the small fire in your living room and now you were standing by the window, watching the rain.

“I didn’t know she had died.” Ellie spoke quietly and you looked up at her, releasing a sigh. You took a seat on your sofa, inviting Ellie to sit next to you. “Maria mentioned it in passing while we were at dinner. I came straight over here.”

“She had dementia or Alzheimer’s. One of those. It was bound to happen.” You explained to her and she nodded slowly.

“I know you really loved her.” Ellie sighed and you turned your head to look at her.

“I didn’t. Not really. I had a really tough life with her.” You explained to Ellie and she nodded like she had always known that. She didn’t get to nod like that. She didn’t know the half of it. “I think she had her sickness my whole life. She was batshit insane.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” Ellie asked and you shrugged. You weren’t sure why you hadn’t been able to tell anyone. Mostly, you reasoned, you hadn’t known she was sick. How could you tell Ellie that you thought you were the problem? That you were so full of sin even your own mother couldn’t love you?

“It was my problem to deal with.” You told her honestly. “What are you really doing here?”

“To see if your okey. To see if there’s a chance we got it wrong at sixteen.” Ellie turned to face you, drawing her knees up to her chest. You couldn’t look at her.

“We?” You asked, picking at your nail beds and ignoring how close she was, how your body lit up in response.

“Yeah. We. You for calling it all off and me for letting you walk away.” You turned to look at her, incredulous. “I shouldn’t have given up.”

“That’s exactly what you should’ve done. Anything else would’ve made it so much worse.” You told her, pinching the bridge of your nose to ward off the headache you could feel coming.

“I could’ve helped!” Ellie insisted. “I could’ve given you the support you needed.”

“You couldn’t have made me straight!” You yelled, standing up from the sofa. You paced back to the window, staring out at the rain. “I needed to not be like this. You couldn’t have fixed that. She hated me.”

“She was your mother.” Ellie argued and you scoffed, fighting the urge to turn and look at her. “She had to have loved you.”

“She told me she’d kill herself if I went back to you.” You turned then, wanting to see the look in her eyes. The look of disgust because you gave in, you let her control you. But Ellie didn’t look disgusted, she looked horrified. “I came home one evening with swollen lips and this tiny mark on my jaw and she knew what we’d been doing. She told me that if I kept talking about loving you that she’d kill herself to not be stained by my sin.”

“She was sick. She didn’t know what she was-” your hand went to the hem of your T-shirt, pulling it up so that she could see your back. The criss cross of scars that overlapped. Years of torture and abuse. All of it culminating in this. “Angel.”

Ellie breathed that old nickname and you dropped your shirt but she caught it, having moved closer without your knowing. Her fingers ghosted over your skin and her breath came out shaky.

“When did this start?” Ellie asked and you laughed bitterly. “This isn’t a fucking joke. When did it start?”

“The day Joel asked for a sleepover. I told you she couldn’t know. I guess you just didn’t understand why.” She let your shirt drop and you turned around to find yourself face to face with her. “She told me that I was damned at five years of age. She used to make me pray in the dark for hours at a time. When I was twelve she made me hurt myself to repent for the sin of loving you. I never could. I repented for not being sorry instead.”

“I could’ve helped. I could’ve gotten you out.” Ellie sighed, her hand coming up to your cheek. You leaned into her and closed your eyes against the emotions that were welling up. “I could’ve fucking killed her for you.”

“I would’ve taken you up on that. Isn’t the awful?” You asked her but she shook her head, wrapping her arms around you. “I was so relieved when she died.”

“Guess I don’t have to feel bad for feeling the same way. I always knew it was her. Cause this, what’s going on with us, we might’ve been kids but I know what I felt, Angel. This was the real deal.” Ellie whispered against your neck and then you let it happen. You let the tears fall. You held her tightly and you sobbed for everything you could’ve had for the last six years.

///

You were sitting on the sofa, curled up against Ellie’s chest. Her hands softly stroked your hair and you were struck silent by the parallel of your mother doing the exact opposite, hurting you so violently.

“So you gonna cut me loose or keep me this time?” Ellie asked quietly. You looked up at her and without speaking cupped her cheek in your hand and pulled her down to your level. You pressed a sweet kiss to her lips and she smiled. “Not afraid of Hell any more?”

“If loving you leads me to hell then I’ll sit at the table with all the others who gave up the idea of an eternity of heaven for a short time with the true meaning of paradise.”

*Lyra Wren on tiktok

[sooniebby]

Hi, were you accepting request? if so, could i request a nsfw fiction? where m!reader is having an intimate night with his soft boyfriend (any male character you're simping for) who's happy to pop m!reader's virginity and bottomed him out with lots of cum!

“would you look at this? there's a bulge inside you, so adorable just like you..”

ఌ 𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐉��

❝ 𝙔𝙤𝙪’��𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙭 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚?! ❞

꧁ 𝘿𝙚𝙣𝙟𝙞 𝙭 𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 ꧂

Word count › 1.9k

Rating › NSFW

Warnings › cringy idiots having sex

Kinks › creampie

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

╰┈─➤ ＢＥＧＩＮＮＩＮＧ

Denji was ready. He prepared everything in advance—something he rarely does which told Aki and Power that he indeed was serious. The small apartment they shared was empty with just Denji and his boyfriend, (Name). They had been dating for almost six months which was honestly a record for Denji. 

He was honestly not sure what shocked him the most: that he was dating a man or that their relationship lasted more than a week. 

But he had gotten over that. Denji silently smirked to himself, not noticing the raised eyebrows he got from (Name). 

Honestly, (Name) should’ve been used to Denji’s strange quirks by now. 

(Name) was only an inch taller than Denji and had more muscle on him compared to his previously malnourished boyfriend. Maybe that’s why Denji thought (Name) was supposed to take the lead in the relationship. 

That’s what the comics showed. 

“Denji, if you’re done smiling to yourself, can you pass me the remote?” (Name) asked, holding his hand out. Denji bristled but handed him the remote, eyeing the other beside him. 

Okay, maybe he was just stupid, but wasn’t something supposed to happen by now? 

(Name) changed the channels until it was on some random action movie. He hummed as he moved to rest his head on Denji’s lap, getting himself comfortable. Denji couldn’t help his urge to tangle his hand in (Name)’s hair, doing some little braids that would be a pain to undo later. 

It stayed like that for a moment—just the two enjoying each other’s company. 

“Something wrong?” (Name) asked. 

Denji hummed. “No. Why?” That was one of the weird things about (Name). It was like he was able to feel whenever Denji was overthinking something. 

“You’ve been on edge ever since I got here.” (Name) moved to sit up to look at Denji. “Was it…?” He trailed off to let Denji get the idea. (Name) hated Makima and really any one that took advantage of Denji’s naivety but he knew not to state it outloud. 

Who knew if she could hear their every move? 

Denji frowned. Damn, did he really suck at hiding his emotions? “Uh, well, it’s really just I thought you’d do something by now.” 

“Do what?” 

“Sex.” 

(Name) blushed. If this was any other situation, Denji would’ve began celebrating since it was practically impossible to get (Name) to blush. But right now, he was worried his boyfriend would faint from overheating. 

Was he embarrassed by sex? 

“Do you not want to have sex? You’ve dated before.” Denji said. 

“But….” (Name) looked away. “I’ve never had sex before.” 

Denji blinked. 

No way. 

No fucking way! 

“Huh?!” He yelled, a bit too loud for (Name) who suddenly turned back to stare at him with a scowl on his face. 

“What?! Why’s that so hard to believe?” 

“How can you date other people but not have sex?” 

“I was scared…” (Name) muttered. 

Denji was so confused. How could (Name) fight devils with no issue but he somehow had a problem with having sex? Denji stared at him with a confused look that only embarrassed (Name) even more. They stayed like that for a moment while the movie continued on in the background. 

“Was this why you wanted to have this sleepover?” (Name) asked, his cheeks finally returning to back to normal. 

Denji shrugged. “Half of it. I also just wanted to spend time with you.” 

(Name) bit his lip. “We can have sex but I might be a bit bad…” 

“It’s not like I’ve ever had sex ,” Denji stated. 

“I should get ready then,” (Name) said, standing up. 

“Ready for what?” 

“….for you to fuck me, did you forget already?” (Name) asked, his usual snappiness coming back. 

Denji paused. “You…. You’ll take my dick inside you?!” He asked, shocked at the new development. 

(Name) stared at him as if he was crazy. “Yeah, I don’t want to top. Besides, I doubt you know how to open yourself.” 

“Open myself?!” 

“Do you even know what has to happen for us to have sex?! Neither of us have a vagina!” 

“I thought the person who had the biggest dick tops.” 

(Name) frowned. “Where did you learn all of this?” 

“Manga….” 

“Just ask me next time. But you have the bigger dick anyway.” (Name) said, walking away to the bathroom. 

Denji blinked. 

Wait how did he know that? 

ꕤ

(Name) was scared. Yeah, sure, he had been wanting to have sex with Denji but he was also terrified. A dick was supposed to go inside his asshole. That’s scary! What if it tears him open?! 

He sighed, looking around in the bathroom for any type of lube. Much to his surprise, he did. He tried not to imagine who this belonged to. (Name) walked over to the small bedroom that Denji was already in, pacing around. 

“You okay?” 

Denji nodded, stopping in his tracks. “I quickly read one of Aki’s hidden porn mag and saw what I have to do.” 

“Uh, okay. Do you mind getting out so I prepare?” 

“No. I wanna see.” Denji said before quickly realising how harsh he sounded. “If you don’t mind…” 

(Name) controlled his urge to pout. “Sure, fine. Just don’t look at me weird.” He slipped off his pyjamas and laid down on the bed. It was a bit odd to be fully naked in front of Denji but he tried to ignore it as he slipped off his boxers. 

With shaky hands, he grabbed the lube to squeeze out a generous amount and went straight to his ass. (Name) moved himself to where his legs was pulled closer to his chest as he easily slipped in a finger inside himself. 

“So easily?” Denji asked, not noticing the look of embarrassment on (Name)’s face. 

“I masturbated this morning…” He whispered, slipping in another finger with ease. It was somehow making him horny to masturbate in front of his boyfriend. Maybe he was a pervert.

Soft moans left (Name)’s lips as he tried to open himself up as much as possible. His face was dusted pink, feeling the watchful eyes of Denji. He wondered what he was thinking. 

Did he think he was sexy? 

“(Name)…” 

“Mmh?” 

Denji was way closer than he was earlier. He stared at (Name) as he gently reached over and parted his legs even further to get a better look. 

“Your legs are in the way.” Denji said, grinning at the whine of embarrassment he got from (Name). “Are you ready?” 

(Name) glanced down at the bulge in Denji’s pants and gulped. He was ready physically but mentally? 

“Yeah. Just don’t go so hard…” 

Denji simply grinned and motioned for (Name) to lay down. He pulled down his pants, not having worn boxers, and grabbed some lube to spread on his cock. It was a bit cold… 

This certainly wasn’t his own lube. 

Oh. 

He shuddered at the thought of either Power or Aki using it. (Name) was too busy counting cats in his head to notice Denji’s panicked thinking. A laugh caught his attention as (Name) looked down to see Denji in between his legs. 

“What are you laughing at?” 

“Nothing…. It’s just I thought since you were bigger than me that you’d have a bigger dick,” Denji said, staring at down at (Name)’s 4 inch dick that seemed to twitch under his gaze. (Name) glared at him, sitting up to get a glance at Denji’s cock when his skin turned pale. 

“What the fuck…?” 

“What? Is it ugly?” 

“No… Are you a grower?!” 

The one time (Name) had saw Denji’s cock, it was large but not as big as it is now. It had to be close to eight inches than the five that he last saw. Denji blushed while a confident smile grew on his lips. 

(Name) rolled his eyes but laid back down. Denji took that as a sign to go ahead. He inched in closer and pressed his dick right at (Name)’s hole that was dripping with the copious amount of lube he had used earlier. It was a bit scary for (Name) but Denji was excited. 

This was way better than what he imagined. 

He was going to give his boyfriend the best night of his life. 

With one swift movement, he easily pushed inside. (Name)’s breathing hitched, a soft whine leaving his lips. He gripped the bed sheets beneath him as Denji continued to push his entire length inside. It should’ve embarrassed him at how easily he took him in but he was sort of proud of his body. 

Once Denji was fully inside, their skin touching, he finally looked down at (Name)’s stomach. It was a bit toned from the work they did but still had a softness that he loved to play with. But there was something causing (Name)’s stomach to bulge. 

Was it his dick? 

“(Name).” 

Only a pitiful whimper left (Name)’s lips. 

“There’s a bulge inside of you from me.” 

(Name) let out a gasp of concern as he glanced down to see it was indeed true. He was shocked. And horny as his lower region tightened around Denji’s dick. Denji groaned and a playful smirk appeared on his lips. 

Denji trailed a hand on (Name)’s stomach and lightly touched the bulge. He leaned down to press a kiss on his lips. 

“It’s cute, like you.” 

With that, he began to slowly pull out and slam back inside. (Name) mouth opened in a silent scream as Denji used most of his strength to keep up the harsh motion. (Name) wanted to kill Denji for not going slow like he wanted but he couldn’t deny that it felt so good. 

There was a constant pressure on something inside of him. Whenever Denji so much as brushed it—(Name)’s body jerked upwards as he moaned. Their neighbors were going to kill them in the morning. 

(Name) reached over to wrap his arms around Denji’s neck, bringing him close to kiss him once more. This only seemed to make Denji gain more energy as he reached down and grasped (Name)’s right leg, pulling it up more to gain more space to move faster. 

The position for (Name) was a bit uncomfortable but he had no time to complain. 

Denji pulled away from the kiss and groaned. “I see why you wanted to bottom. I feel like I’m going to pass out already.” He said, his thrusts getting considerably inconsistent. 

(Name) smirked, “aw, you can’t handle it?” Denji simply stared at him as if he shouldn’t have said that.

Maybe he shouldn’t have because obviously the guy with a devil living inside of him has more power than the average human. 

It could’ve been, maybe almost ten minutes, of Denji’s inhumane thrusts. (Name)’s stomach was covered in his own cum that had began to be more watery after the third time. His throat was sore and honestly he wished he kept his damn mouth shut. 

“Denji…” he whined. 

Denji simply hummed, nipping at (Name)’s neck as he slowed down his thrusts. 

“Finish already. I’m so tired…” 

“Fine, fine. I’m close anyway,” Denji grunted, easily flipping over (Name) to lay on his knees and face away from him. It took only a few more harsh thrusts that deliberately touched the magic spot inside of (Name) as they both cummed with the other’s name on their lips. 

(Name) groaned, wanting to sleep. He could feel the hot cum inside of him that felt like an amount no normal human could realistically make but Denji wasn’t exactly human anymore. With his head on the pillow, he was about to fall asleep as Denji pulled out only to feel him push the cum dripping out back inside of him. 

“Denji!” 

“What? Don’t want it to spill.” 

(Name) headed chuckling before feeling Denji push his cock back inside. 

And it was still hard. 

“Do you mind going for a few more rounds? I still have stamina in me!” 

(Name) was done for. 

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

╰┈─➤ ＥＮＤ

First ever request!! Thank you so much for idea! I choose Denji so hopefully you know him or at the very least enjoy the story!

Requests are open so if you got any ideas, feel free to send me them!

Feedback greatly appreciated too! Thanks for reading

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

what do you think is the line between friends and moirails for trolls? I was never sure how to feel about it, it seems so nebulous. also any idea what's with feferi trying to invite kanaya and karkat into the horn pile with her and sollux? like based on the description of moirallegiance that sounds like... infidelity. but it didn't seem like the trolls reacted that way.

What it ultimately comes down to is the fact that Homestuck is a story, and furthermore, one pervaded by things like fate and destiny, which are real and exist within its universe, and therefore, the moirails for each of our trolls has already been decided by destiny (the author).

But also, in a less meta way, the confusion you're feeling likely stems from the fandom misconception that a moirallegiance is just an extra best-friendship, which it is NOT. The stated function of a moirallegiance is to calm each other the fuck down, in order to prevent them from hurting themselves or others. It's this pacifying effect, and not whether or not they hop into piles and talk about feelings, that defines a moirallegiance.

Trolls are a very angry and violent race. Some are more hot-tempered and dangerous than others, to the extent that if left to their own devices, they would present a serious threat to society, or even to themselves. Such trolls will have an instinctive pale attraction to a more even-tempered troll, who may become their MOIRAIL. The moirail is obliged to pacify the other, to function as the better half. The two partners in a strong pale relationship will serve to balance and complement each other's emotional profiles, and thus allow their other relationships to be more successful.

Piles of stuff and feelings jams in them are associated with moirallegiance, but are not "something you only do with your moirail" - like getting coffee or holding hands are associated with dating your matesprit/human romance partner, but not exclusive to them, and, in many cases, not a form of infidelity (although they can be). For what it's worth, Eridan does call Gamzee's horn pile in the middle of the room a "vvulgar display," like Gamzee's chucked porno mags everywhere:

ERIDAN: wwhat a fuckin vvulgar display this is ERIDAN: airin out all his dirty laundry like that puttin a big fuckin pile a horns in the middle of the room ERIDAN: at least i got the upright basic decency to hide my shitty wand pile somewwhere in the lab you wwont find it dont evven bother lookin KARKAT: WHY DO YOU ASSHOLES HAVE PILES OF THINGS, JUST STOP.

So what Feferi's doing with Sollux is less "hey, come cheat with me on Sollux," and more "hey, wanna third wheel our date?"

Moirallegiance is about the "instinctive pull" and the pacification of both partners. Also, moirallegiance is very much romantic. The comic uses the word "platonic," but I think what it means is "chaste" - moirallegiance is not involved in reproduction, so there is no requirement or social expectation for physical intimacy; however, if it weren't a form of romance, it wouldn't exactly be a type of troll romance, would it?

Failed moirallegiances do not have this calming effect: Kanaya doesn't stop (or even really attempt to stop) Vriska from doing her Vriska bullshit at all, and in fact Vriska gets MORE agitated when talking to her:

AG: Ok, so you're spying on me. Kind of creepy! Man, m8y8e you should get a l8fe. AG: Or you know, if you're so h8gh 8nd might8 an8 th8nk you're so gr8at, m8y88 you c8uld oh I d8n't kn8w........ AG: TRY AND ST8P ME FROM DO8NG B8D THINGS????????

The same can be seen with Feferi and Eridan:

CC: Is t)(ere a lucky lady you are waxing scarlet for? CC: OR LUCKY F-ELLOW??? 38O CA: uh CC: Tell me! CC: Don't pretend you're all -EMBARRASS-ED SUDD-ENLY!!! CA: ok fef CA: this is NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS

And with Karkat and Gamzee:

KARKAT: DON'T YOU START WITH ME KARKAT: DO. NOT. START WITH ME. KARKAT: I WILL GET YOU IN A HEADLOCK SO TIGHT IT WILL BE A MIRACLE IF PEOPLE DON'T MISTAKE OUR TUSSLE FOR AN ILL CONCEIVED VENTRILOQUIST ACT. KARKAT: I WILL SHOOSH YOU AGAIN, SO HELP ME GOD. I WILL SHOOSH YOUR CLOWN ASS TO SHANGRI-BULLSHIT-LA AND BACK, AND FILL YOUR EAR WITH MY WHITE HOT PALEBRO SPITTLE. KARKAT: I AM FULL AND FUCKING WELL PREPARED TO GET CONCILIATORY WITH YOU AGAIN IF YOU SO MUCH AS PASS GAS MURDEROUSLY, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? KARKAT: IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT??? DO I NEED TO CALM YOUR FAYGO-STICKY TENTSQUATTING SHIT DOWN AGAIN???? GAMZEE: naw brother, i was just about to all say for you to try and get your settle down on, maybe. GAMZEE: :o(

And what makes Equius and Nepeta so successful is that Nepeta keeps Equius's tendency towards fury in check, while Equius keeps Nepeta out of harmful situations (although he's maybe doing a bit too much of that and could afford to step back):

EQUIUS: D --> As such, he is prone to being more violent and unpredictable than any of us EQUIUS: D --> Not everyone has been as lucky as I in the domain of moirallegiance

AT: iT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST, AT: tHAT YOU LISTEN TO HIM, AC: :33 < i dont know AC: :33 < you think so? AT: wELL, AT: iF YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO HIM BEFORE, AT: yOU MIGHT HAVE PLAYED GAMES WITH US BEFORE, AT: aND SOMETHING BAD MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU,

And Feferi and Sollux work because Sollux is prone to excessive self-loathing, which, mixed with his mage powers of prophesying/invoking the future, make for a cocktail of potential harm to himself and others. Talking with her keeps his head above the water (heh) and forcibly prevents him from wallowing in self-loathing:

SOLLUX: anyway, yeah, now that aa ii2 gone forever ii feel more depre22ed and u2ele22 than u2ual, and ii wa2 already pretty cod damn u2ele22 two begiin wiith, let'2 face iit. FEFERI: But I )(ave it on good aut)(ority t)(at s)(e is fine! FEFERI: Everyt)(ing is going to go swimmingly, YOU'LL S-E-E. 38) SOLLUX: you are 2o riidiiculou2ly optiimii2tiic iit'2 kiind of 2iickeniing, why do you even put up wiith me? SOLLUX: iif you weren't 2o great ii would thiink you were a fuckiing iidiiot for liikiing me. SOLLUX: 2o, ii gue22 thank2 for liikiing me?

But even though these moirallegiances are ultimately doomed, there is some amount of pacification going on, making it difficult for the trolls to tell in the moment whether or not their pale relationship is true (Karkat does manage to stop Gamzee from murdering people, for example, but fails to address his religious beliefs and underlying trauma, whereas Gamzee can't calm Karkat down at all, so they end up drifting apart after the initial Major Problem has been settled).

The fact that it's a blurry line even for trolls is explicitly stated:

It's often ambiguous especially among young trolls whether a bond formed between an acquaintance is true moirallegence, or the usual variety of platonic involvement. Furthermore, romantic intentions of a more flushed nature can often be mistaken for paler leanings, much to the frustration of the suitor.

So this is kind of by design - part of adolescence, keeping in line with Homestuck's coming-of-age themes, is the messy romance. If it were easy to piece together, it wouldn't be true to life.

HOWEVER, that all being said, special notice does have to be taken of the way moirallegiance - moreso than even the other three quadrants - has an air of DESTINY about it. Trolls believe that every troll has one destined partner for every quadrant:

But if there was one theme to be hammered through his thick skull, it would be the trolls' cultural preoccupation with romantic destiny. Yes, the romantic landscape is rife with false starts and miscues and infidelities, red and black. But every troll believes strongly that each quadrant holds one and only one true pairing for them, and it is just a matter of time before the grid is filled with auspicious matchups through the mysterious channels of TROLL SERENDIPITY. In short, their belief is that for each quadrant there exists a pair or triad of trolls somewhere in the cosmos that were…

MADE FOR EACH OTHER.

So there's already a setup in this comic, which is so rife with prophecy and foreshadowing, that every troll is eventually going to end up with their true love/true hate - but even out of the four quadrants, moirallegiance is given special weight: first of all, it is the only quadrant that is literally translated as "soul mates":

This quadrant presides over MOIRALLEGIENCE, the other conciliatory relationship. A reasonable human translation would be the concept of a soul mate, but in a more platonic sense, and with a more specific social purpose.

And second, it's called "mysterious" or "magical," even in direct comparison to black/red:

CG: AND ALL THE NUANCES OF PITY MANIFEST AS VARIOUS OTHER KINDS OF FEELINGS LIKE WHATEVER CHEMICAL REACTIONS TRIGGER MATING FONDESS OR THE MYSTERIOUS FORCES THAT ARE BEHIND MOIRALLEGIANCE.

You then proceed to have the rest of this conversation we already read, bugging and fussing and meddling through the special and magical union one can only describe as being in moirallegiance with another. At least, you guess that's how you would describe it. Maybe. Troll romance sure is confusing!

And we can't forget:

Such trolls will have an instinctive pale attraction to a more even-tempered troll

Which lends to the idea that there's a biological compulsion towards needing a moirail, same as how there's a biological draw towards finding reproductive partner(s).

But this is why I always tend to use "destined for" when discussing moirail pairs, and also why I focus specifically on which individuals calm other individuals the fuck down - like how Gamzee says he "feel[s] so at chill with" Tavros, or how Karkat goes from completely losing his shit to "yeah, so that's it i guess" after talking to Eridan.

[thebibliosphere]

hello, this is just me kinda sharing unsolicited Batman related feelings that i’m wallowing in, don’t mind me

i started playing Gotham Knights after seeing a few of your posts about it, and i’ve had a bit of a Batman/Justice League/Batfam fixation for the past few weeks. i was enjoying it! the environments were interesting and the combat was cool, and i loved listening to whatever Alfred had to say.

however, i made the mistake of finding Gotham Cemetery as Nightwing and thinking, “wait, is Bruce…?”, followed my gamer instincts (which is usually something along the lines of “follow the lights”), and ended up climbing to a higher vantage point to see if i could spot Bruce’s grave.

welp, all i had to do was spin the camera a little and oh. i’m standing next it. my boy Dick is already standing next to his father’s grave. it’s cleaner, newer than the surrounding headstones, there’s fresh flowers on it, and the rain made for a scene that kinda wrote itself.

somehow that hit me harder than the video Bruce left behind, harder than the funeral. i got so sad i had to quit the game and start reading some Batman comics :’) i wasn’t expecting me the player to also process grief along with all the characters, damn.

anyway, hope you’re having an awesome day!

Oh man, yeah. I did the same thing and then spent a lot of time walking through the cemetery, looking at all the names. I really liked that they carved Wayne Tower out of his stone so that when you look through it at a certain angle, you can see the Gotham skyline through his headstone. (And then the game dragged me back there later for one of Dick's cutscenes, and I went through all the stages of grief all over again. I had a similar reaction to Barbara visiting her father's monument. I won't spoil it, but man. Man.)

The makeshift memorial outside Wayne Tower also left a lump in my throat the first time I saw it. As did the #ThankYouBruce hashtag they have on the electronic billboards showing Bruce's face in profile against the city.

IDK, just something about the idea of Dick having to walk past that every time he gets dragged into a shareholder meeting fucks me up.

The game has many issues, but its ability to wring every emotion known to man and some kaleidoscopic ones only known to shrimp out of my jaded husk of a soul is not one of them.

I hope you continue to enjoy playing it! And take breaks. I ended up mainlining an entire season of Wayne Family Adventures after I finished my first playthrough 😅

[sant-riley]

[Little things] [Ghost x Reader drabble]

AN: My god, it's been a while, babes. Hi hello!! I hope everyone's doing well, I'm back with another mid ass writing piece for Ghost based off of my experience getting flowers for the first time! I hope yall enjoy, I'm rusty as fuck lmfao

Contents: Gender Neutral reader, pre-established relationship, Ghost may be a lil ooc! This is about 1.2k words :)

"Are…are those flowers…for me??"

"Yeah." He gently extends his arms forward, the bouquet of bright and dark flowers shining under the light.

It looks so comically small in his grasp, so out of place. He looks so damn awkward, not looking you in your eyes. Simon has his civilian clothing on, his hoodie pulled tight across his head, making a shadow go across the small opening for his eyes in the balaclava.

You can barely make out any expression on his face, he's taking great caution to shield it from you as best as he can.

A lump is in your throat, making it hard to breathe with all the emotions flooding through you.

Looking down at the flowers again, biting your lip to stop the small tremble in it.

You quickly inhale then exhale shakily, moving to grab the flowers from his grasp, your fingers brushing against his own, though his are of course covered in his signature skeleton gloves. Still, a shudder goes down your spine, before you finally take the bouquet into your dominant hand.

A beat passes while your eyes just stare down at the flowers, not realizing the feeling of wetness making a small trail down your face.

"Oi, hey, what's with the tears for?" Simon's face pops into view, his large hand grabbing your chin and facing you towards him. His eyes are squinted and worry and anxiousness swims in them. His hands move without thinking to rub his thumb under your eye, catching the tears, and brushing them off.

It's embarrassing really, all these years you've lived and you're crying over some flowers, something so small.

Regardless, you sniffle and the floodgates open again, more salty tears pooling down and falling onto the petals.

"No one has ever gotten me flowers before."

Not your parents, not your other family, never a partner either, never once has anyone gotten you even just a single flower. Be it fake or real, you've never received one.

It was never a big deal, you pretended it didn't bother you, even if deep down it hurt just a tad when others got them for a special occasion, whether it be valentines, a graduation, or a promotion. It's just some stupid flowers that will make a mess with petals and be a hassle to clean up when it dies, who needs them?

It was just something you had come to terms with, pushing it to the back of your mind. Convinced yourself you didn't need them, much less that you deserved any in the first place.

But Simon, Simon Riley had gone out of his way to get you flowers, without prompting. The big bad Lieutenant of task force 141 went out of his way to not only visit you but to bring fucking flowers.

Simon sighs, moving to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, feeling his heart clench painfully at your admission.

Despite the rough life he has grown up in, he always paid attention to how happy his mother was to receive flowers. His father was not the type of man to get them for her, but His mother was never afraid to get some on her own accord, to set the dining room table with, that she felt deserving of them and if no one else would get her any, she'd do it herself.

Simon never really took into account that he should get someone flowers, surely they'd just get it themselves if they really wanted. Staring down at you now, he realizes it's more so the thought behind the actions is what's more important, not the measly flowers themselves. The thought of someone getting you a bouquet just because it reminded them of you.

"I'm sorry it took you so long to get 'em, sweetheart." He speaks low, feeling regret that he didn't think to get you any earlier.

Simon lets out a grunt as you softly launch yourself at his chest, your arms wrapping around his neck as you shove your face into his shoulder, one hand carefully holding the gift. He wastes no time in wrapping one arm around your waist, his other free hand coming up to brush against the back of your head as he hums, resting his head against your own.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you."

It was just a nudge from Soap really, the scot making a small comment that surely you'd like some.

Simon didn't think much of it at the time until he passed by a flower shop on his way to meet with you at a nearby park, one of your regular days just to spend time with one another before you both inevitably were called back to duty.

He's sure he made the employee uneasy, his dark hooded and masked frame towering over her own as he roughly asked what kind of flowers he could get. Anyone with eyes could tell he was out of his element. God, he didn't know fuck all about flowers, the best he could guess were roses.

After a moment, the employee smiles warmly and asks who the person receiving them and while he's a man of few words, it wasn't hard to catch the softness in his tone when he spoke about you, the tinge of longing in his eyes when the employee politely asked if you were partners.

"No, just friends." He waved her off, not catching the look the young woman sent him. Just friends didn't get that look in their eyes, the full body relaxing at the mere mention of them, he was full of shit. 'Just friends' my ass, she thought.

"Well, how about this? I'll make a bouquet based on what you've told me and if you like it, you give it to them…?" She offered, already moving with a pair of scissors in her hand towards the small nursery.

Simon nodded simply, and the employee smiled as she pointed him towards a table to take a seat while she worked her magic.

It didn't take her long at all to pull all the flowers she decided to go with, taking them back to her station as she swiftly started arranging the flowers. Her hands worked efficiently as she finished it off with a plastic wrap, choosing a black bow (to match the lover boy's whole assemble) to wrap around the stems.

She quickly calls him over with a 'sir' and turns the bouquet towards him with a small "tada!".

The bouquet consisted of a dozen flowers, some big, some small, beautiful nonetheless. Camillas, Red carnations, daisies, gardenias, and Hydrangeas with some fillers scattered throughout.

Even if he wasn't a flower guy, he had to admit it was beautiful.

"Soooo, what do you think? Do you think these work for you?"

"Yeah, yeah they'll do." He's already reaching for his wallet, looking to grab cash to pay.

"This one's on me, alright? Ah- don't argue with me mister, just come back and let me know if they were loved."

She stuck out her pointer finger at the man, turning on her heel to start the clean-up process.

She heard him ruffle and grab the bouquet, making a grunt her way and leaving, the door bell chiming as he makes his way out,

Looking back at the counter, in her tip cup are two 50-pound bills left there. Letting out a sigh quickly followed by a smile, she wonders if the lucky person will get the hint with the flowers she picked out, after all, all flowers have meaning.

[signanothername]

i'm so glad you made killer smart, as not a lot of people do that. also, i totally agree with you on the fact that nightmare is smart, but not smarter than killer.

I personally think nightmare only cared to study very specific subjects like history, theater, and especially botany and dendrology (the study of trees and plants)

also he isolated himself from all social interaction for 500 years, so he wouldn't even know how to carry on a proper conversation, and might defer to things he read in his books.

Thank youuuu <333

No like i shall forever die on the hill that Killer is the smartest in the entire gang even dhdhdhhd

Like all of them are smart to me in different ways but how the fandom makes Killer out to be a stupid bitch (and even sometimes make him act like a child) makes me wanna punch the wall

That’s why I take it upon myself to portray him as the clever bitch he truly is just like in canon <333333

And omg I absolutely love your Nightmare hc!! I absolutely especially adore the fact he’d be interested in studying botany and dendrology!! Like I always loved to think Nightmare has an emotional attachment to trees but I never really thought about him studying it as a field!! That’s honestly so fucking cool hell yaaaa!!!

To me I like to think he studies almost everything, he just loves to learn new things, as long as he gets to read a new book he’s up for it, that’s where I think Nightmare’s smarts lie, in his ability to store so much information in his head, and a vast knowledge of a variety of things and how to apply them in his daily routine that’s applicable to himself

But yeah socially?? No luck at all wheeze, like to be able to be strategically and socially intelligent you need to actually interact with the outside world, which Nightmare never does in his entire damn existence

Like to me Nightmare can be good at planning missions and whatnot IN THEORY, but I wholeheartedly believe he never does it alone without Killer in the picture, cause listen he might not be socially intelligent but he’d definitely realize how smart Killer is in such things, and Killer would be able to tell whether such plans can even be applied in the actual field and be put into practice/action, plus Killer would definitely know how to give ideas that can give them the element of surprise, Killer’s always been pretty unpredictable and I think that unpredictably has definitely taught him a few tricks, and like can we talk about his meta knowledge?????? *flashbacks to that one Core Frisk comic where Killer basically says some insane shit that’s literally impossible to know that even Nightmare questions it*

And no like “defer to things he read in his books” is so real shhzhxhhz, that’s how I think Nightmare lives on a daily basis, he just tries to apply his theoretical knowledge to the real world, but the thing is, no matter how much knowledge you hold, you won’t be truly good at something until you put it into actual practice, and that practice needs to be constant, Nightmare never carries any convos or even gets social with anyone, there’s no way he actually genuinely understands how to communicate with people xhxhhdh

Like any social intelligence Nightmare has to me is more associated with his fear of the world around him, his fear of becoming helpless/ defenseless again, so he might look out for anything that might pose a threat to him, but even then he’s still bad at understanding how to apply such knowledge in the real world

Anyway, Killer is just way smarter than Nightmare and the fandom needs to start acknowledging it 😔✌️✌️

[agentshades]

A hyperfixater's guide to fully enjoying the Remedyverse:

- Google "Max Payne Grimace" 

- Look up enough of the comic panel cuscenes from Max Payne 1 to realize all the characters are Remedy's office staff plus the band members from Poets of the Fall. 

- Listen to "The Late Goodbye."

- Play Alan Wake 1. Preferably in the dark. Listen to all the music in between chapters. Wait at least a day between the main story and the DLC chapters to really let the feeling of wanting to know what happened sink in. 

- Optional: Wait two years 

- Play Alan Wake's American Nightmare. Arachnaphoba may vary.

- Optional: Wait four more years.

- Optional: Play Quantum Break. It's not officially part of the Remedyverse but we didn't know that at the time and it played with our emotions with Alan Wake teases for the entire damn game. Plus - Lance Reddick at his finest.

- Optional: Wait three more years. 

- Play Control. Explore a lot. Read everything you can get your hands on. Bask in the nigh unrivalled glory of The Ashtray Maze.

- Prior to playing the Control DLCs, spend an ungodly amount of time obsessing over why one of them is just called "AWE" and all the possible implications. 

- Play the Control DLCs

- Freak the fuck out

- Optional: Wait 4 more years

- Play Alan Wake 2

- Gush about how much you love it all to me specifically because nobody ever knows what I'm talking about when I mention these games and you guys they are important to me in a way that should probably deeply embarass me. 

Of course to really get the full experience you'll need to constantly concuss yourself to the point of never knowing if Alan Wake 2 will ever exist and thus preserve the sweet agony of being a Remedy fan between 2010-2020ish. 

Old Gods of Asgard music may help soothe the pain.

[lovethatmakingcoffee]

what am I? The devil's advocate?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE GIFT OF APPOLLO STRIKES AGAIN FOR ME SPECIFICALLY CAUSE I CALLED OUT THIS CANCELLATION THE MOMENT FOREVER GOT CANCELLED!!!!! Its just so easy! So simple! Of course a male musician is gonna get cancelled and so few listened to me cause you are dumb children because obviously its children who make up the majority audience of a Minecraft roleplay server!!! Ha! At this point its comical! I'm busting a nut on how funny and predictable this all is. Haha, ah sadge. Oh noooos! Are you all gonna burn your merch and delete your art cause you're afraid that u are supporting an abuser creep. Ah waaaahhhh. Like i havent heard that tune the past two months, sing another one. Bitches.

Pft, you all are so pathetic and funny, at this point there really just must be this shadow group or whatever that is trying to destroy the qsmp from the inside out. Like really? Two months, three major creators of the qsmp are targeted by cancellations, and there is plenty of drama in between. So obviously suspicious and coincidental. And it happened so fast and so many people just dogpiled on the accused, i would have to say its almost organized. And that there is just so many jumping the gun, ready to tell these creators to kill themselves, you guys certainly have numbers, holy shit. Ha! I wonder if Forever actually finds and sues that first anti, that he'll be able to figure out who these people are because isnt this also just so conveniently timed? Each cancellation one after another. There is so much drama clouding the qsmp community that how could it not be schemed out at this point? I already predicted that with Forever's downfall and now with attempts I. Cellbit and Wilbur, Im starting to have an inclination that someone approached these girls.

With cellbit's ex it would be easy to deflame him, but i wonder how they got to this sherby whatever. Maybe cause he chose his career over her like i've heard in her video. But being exs is already hot opportunity for scorn of any kind, so its quite easy to jump on one or the other when one of these two accused the other. So really the motive could be anything at this point. anything she said or not said or those requests she asked of him and he never fulfilled. And to me she never delved too deeply in to what those requests were either. Which ok then. Fine, keep your secrets.

But biting is so fucking weird to accuse someone as abuse. Especially physical. Like just biting? That's all. Not that if its true that's not bad, but it would make sense that he was physically violent in any other way at least once. Like hitting, strangling, anything. But no, biting is the best she could come up with when it comes to physical. Mental and emotional abuse is a tricky in cause its not visible and it will always boil down to a he said she said type of shit but if there is no physical text or people witnessing their conversations then good luck with that.

But firstly, if she wants the whole world on her side then physical evidence should be so easy in this scenario. Like as easy as pie! If he bit her so badly every day where he tore skin, or whatever, then damn weren't they in a relationship??? Did they not take couple pictures? Wouldn't these pictures show the obviously horrible bitemarks? That is the first actual physical evidence that she could show that would be so easy to solidify her stance, but no, just hearsay. And nothing like texts either! Maybe a text to a friend complaining about how bad the bitemarks are. But no, nothing. No slideshow of evidence at all, just saying it happened, because words are all she needs to win the internet nowadays.

And then there are her complaints about him financially taking advantage of her, like girl, receipts! Show the receipts at least please, god damn it! Or again, these supposed texts to your girlfriends that he is taking financial advantage of you!!! Anything at all. The male accused is always expected to provide evidence that he did not abuse his ex but the girl isn't expected to show physical evidence that he did it, come on!!!

And I mean the biting in itself is so strange too. Cause like- how did it even start? She says he did it out of nowhere and my brain cant even wrap around that there was no pinpointing starting point. Said that it was a normal affection thing that his parents said was normal. If his family actually said that at all. And that he just randomly introduced it to her like ... Huh? Nothing she could accurately point to and say then, thats when it began. No sexy time or sex or whenever. Just he walked up to her in the kitchen one day and took a bite, huh? Like as far as im aware, to me (and a mutual of mine who pointed this out more accurately) their situation just sounds like a bdsm thing that went south. These two were not on the same wavelength, realized that and went their separate ways. Maybe he didn't follow the safe word every time, maybe she was also mutually into it like Wilbur said. Maybe they just changed their minds on things. Who knows! Not us, that's for sure. Not that their love life should be any of our business, but she yelled abuse so...

And the fact that she acts like biting is such a weird foreign kink. It's tame is what it is. More tame then the feet kinks in my opinion. But if what Wilbur says it's true and it was mutual, 😮‍💨 then fuck, man.

And why would HIM leaking past conversation be power over her? Wouldn't any mutual conversation or evidence they have over each other, negatively effect him in a bad light? Would it not be good if one of these parties showcased a lick of evidence to evidentally prove her right??? Or would it be like Cellbit and explain thoroughly how not everything she said is the truth?

Who knows. There is probably some truth to what she said like he reiterated. About being a slob and that biting happened. But the invasiveness of the bites and the violence of it might not have been accurate. But he needs to absolutely admit it or she needs literally any physical evidence at all to give weight to her claims. But there is nothing because of course there isn't. She could so easily expose him if what she says is true... So why didn't she in her video? If that is what she wants? But then if it is just to bring awareness then she did so in a selfish manner that is only accusatory and not grounded. Ground me Shelby. Show me the bad boyfriend he is. SHOW ME.

But she won't. Will she? :/

Anyway. The qsmp. 👏👏👏👏👏

Like in the past two months, creators have been cancelled or dropped from the qsmp one by one and damn, quackity must be super evil or one unlucky son of a bitch to have hired all these secretly maliscious people. My goodness gravy gracious, how impressive!

I mean come on, really. Like really. Have we not overheard this tune by now? Male creator gets cancelled cause of something to do with a woman, is rushed to answer and is (luckily for cellbit he had an essay on why he was innocent so people are fifty fifty on him at least) then dogpiled by the people waiting to rip his apology or response apart. And then it doesn't matter what they do, anything they do will be seen in a bad light and no one will take into consideration on their stance at all and turn on the male creator. Its crazy how the pattern keeps repeating itself and keeps being successful because everyone is afraid that they are supporting an abuser pedo whatever and have all this time.

It actually makes me sickly relieved that no matter how Forever managed his initial response, he was doomed from the start.

And i mean these younger streamers certainly think they're smart by immediately turning on Wilbur's obviously curated damage control lawyer made response, but ha! That will bite them in the ass soon too. When its their turn. Because its going to be their turn. These cancellers don't care at this point who you are, they just want to see you fall, which is what i predicted and shouted to the heavens months ago! That they should have stayed as a community instead of turning on each other.

Like they think they are so smart responding this quickly, cause the quicker your response to injustice, the more innocent you are 😇. Because if they dont respond immediately (literally hours after the fact), then they will be treated like creators such as Phil and Tommy; be treated like shit and accused for supporting an abuser by the hysterical masses. Because that's who you are if you are against whatever the ex's name is or dont speak up about it at all. And like dont speak up immediately too. You have to have a quick response or there will literally be a ripple effect of cancellations cause if you dont say anything then you are a bad person too. And all i hear from the social media smucks are Wahhhhhh.wahhhhhhhh you're bad if you support so and so! But i already made my side so im a good person wahhhhhhhh

And no, im not even enteraining shit like this anymore when she goes "uwu, i'm finally coming out on social media to spread awareness that my famous ex boyfriend (and it is ALWAYS at the height of their popularity, remember that) used to abuse and bruise me." Like sure- the benefit of doubt for the female victim blah blah but she's like- "oh but this is based on my experience and I'm just here to spread awareness. Anyway, I'm going to hang out with my friends now after dumping that clusterfuck on the internet. Bye~." Like everyone in their collective minds won't go after him and demand answers then judge his response and then turn on him anyways cause lemme be honest, when has an internet open apology ever worked? It never has. And now she has put the spotlight on him, his pr team is scrambling for an escape, he's probably messaging her behind the scenes going what the hell, and his family and friends who wont actively denounce him will be sent death threats. Just like Forever. Forever mi amor. Ah. I miss you bibi.

Anyway, girlie knew she was setting the hounds on him and acted like she didnt. Like she was just going to say her piece and dip. Like the internet wasn't going to explode. Like what the fuck? Whatever her intentions were, whether she was abused or not, she wanted this. She didnt want to get him before he got famous or even during dsmp. She wanted to do this now. For some reason it had to be now. I guess in her mind the bigger they are...

It's always the same.... goes on social media. Verbally accused with no physical evidence. Leaves. The man is left flounder in the mob of social media. Repeat.

And damn, this really makes me doubt Cellbit's ex now like- im starting to really not believe any of them anymore. Cause these cancellations are just all so convientely timed!!! Forever at the height of his lore, Cellbit's weird ex comes out of nowhere with a heavy hitter accusation, but thankfully my guy predicts this and was able to deflect that one with his PHYSICAL EVIDENCE, and now Wilbur's ex is breaking out the easy 'he abused me~' song. Like why are you all still falling for this? Why? Why? Why? Why?!

And hell, i might be a hundred percent wrong, but you might be too, so might aimsey and ranboo and tubbo. This chick might be a sweet angel that didnt mean to release an innocent criminal accusation on her famous ex, oh no~ but like, i dont even care if im wrong and am acting like a jackass.

They cancelled Forever and my man was not a pedo. I stand by that. I'll stand by it until there is a literal mugshot of him commiting said crime. Or literally any lick or shroud of physical evidence! Anything instead of the basic she said he said nonsense. The Forever texts were gross but i've already determined what I have understood from that girl Sol's response. And I've explained it on my tumblr hear before. Right here :)

-https://www.tumblr.com/lovethatmakingcoffee/739974345599926272/part-1

And these remaining qsmp idiots can be cancelled for all i care at this point. For staying quiet and letting their friend fall into a pit of vipers. I think its hilarious if they all got cancelled. Ive already seperated art from the artist with all of them after what they did to Forever. The only one I didnt do that to WAS Forever.

But they let that shit happen, they let my man get labeled as a pedo, so they reap what they sow.

And yeah i may be a hypocrite and still post qsmp stuff, but like whatever :P. I lost my mind months ago cause of circumstances and Forever was one of the few things keeping me afloat. And i mean like- phaw, these content streamers are funny, what can i say. Even though i dont agree with literally any of the shit they pulled in the last couple of months, they get a hearty chuckle out of me and their character is fun and their lore is (less) interesting. I mean- they are likeable. Thats why they are content creators. Cause they got great personalities. Doesnt mean they are good people though.

And heh, the qsmp really will die soon, i mean really. Just look. Pacfit is cute but it barely holds much in the shipping department, the lore might as well be dead cause many have left or were cancelled or have to deal with the aftermath of their friends being cancelled or leaving. And just it looks like not many people are on and that quackity tried to commercialize it with purgatory 2. Bringing all these new people and having storylines abandoned left and right. Then forever got canceled and quackity chose to throw his friend under the bus (doesnt even matter if forever secretly asked him to) and protect his project which was his first mistake. Now all these creators are getting picked off one by one because of their past relationships. Insteading of standing unified together.

And i will laugh at all of you stupid fucks who whined and cried that ohhh noooo, my favorite creator is a bad person with little evidence, and just the one side talking about it. And it doesnt matter if Wilbur said that was a consensual kink they shared and they met on www.bitemynipple.org, he will be framed as the bad guy, with whatever she said. My god. The fact that everyone takes this shit at face value and dont question anything, and quickly announce that they hate the guy to prove that they are a good person is insane.

Like holy shit, tubbo, ranboo, aimsey, and others. You jumped on him so quickly and literally ranked and ripped apart his apology like it was supposed to win some literary award, the fuck? Why are you so weird?! It's obviously a PR curated response and you are treating it like it is his actual words! The fuck?!

And then y'know, i think there are people who never really were fans and are just part of that well orchestrated alleged anti group that took down Forever and are using what wilbur's ex said to fan the flames. Loudly announcing, 'IM DELETING MY STUFF AND YOU SHOULD TOO UNLESS YOU ARE A BAD PERSON!!!" you want to talk about manipulation? That certainly looks like manipulation to me. Pathetic. Guilting people before the final verdict. My braincells are dead on the floor cause of youm And then the rest of you all roll over, bend your back and just take it. Well lube up your stupid little holes.

But honestly, i called this shit so hard. I more so guessed a fan would damn him later, but its an ex girlfriend who felt like it was a great idea to air out their personal lives to the voyeuristic eye that is the internet. Just peachy. Like this is your own personal shit, and again if there aint even a police report talking about their domestic abuse, i wont take this seriously. It a photo or a screenshot of a text about it. ANYTHING!!!!! The fact she just discreetly brought it up out of nowhere to bring 'awareness'. She knew what she was doing. And if her intentions were to tear him down cause she was angry at him or get her noticed because of his popularity or to use him to lift her agenda of this so called awareness then ok, i guess??????

And what's with this bullshit of not knowing that wilbur is manipulative? That is literally is one of his number one character traits. You can think of it negatively or positively, but unless you are new here, that dude is a manipulative hussy. Like this is a well known fact, how are any of you surprised at this? Its like saying the sky is blue. I mean- if by anything dsmp wilbur is the most manipulative lil bastard ever, obviously he is leaning into a character trait he already knows and has.

But go on, hm, cry. Write your little announcements that you always knew he was a bad person uwu and that you are deleting all your content of him. Go on and do it. Delete your art and fics that you worked so hard on just cause some drama is happening where there is no hard evidence so far except what she said and he said. Heh, I dont stan him. I aint saving this shit. If the art gets deleted, oh well! Too bad, so sad. Thats on all of you who wanted to panic, act out like toddlers and delete your art. Go on. Delete it. Feel sad. Boohoo. Waaaaaaaahhhh. Ask no questions and just side with the 'victim' who conveniently brings this up now.

Who knows. Maybe I'll act up too. Maybe i'll draw Wilbur getting eaten out and bitten and sensually gang banged. Maybe I'll draw art of tntduo chewing on each others' cocks. Bite bite bite. Maybe I'll just make a lot of wilbur biting art just to spite everyone. Who knows?!

Maybe i will also keep the wilbur soot tag alive, like i am doing with the forever, sugarduo, and the 4halo tag. Because you stupid ass bitches just squeal when these creators arent perfect when someone drops dirt on them. Well newsflash you dumb fucks, they all have dirt on them.

Also my next guess on who the cancel qsmp victim will be ... Fit. They havent got anything on Philza yet to my surprise. Maybe the man just surrounds himself with loyal people outside of minecraft server cause obvs those people aint loyal as shit 🤣. And i dont know much about fit outside of qsmp, like i feel a lot of us do. But he totally fits the qualifications. He's a man so he's an easy target. He's older so he has a 'past tm. And he is seen as otherwise good and another pillar of the qsmp. So if he is taken down, many shall follow. It would be another good shock to the community to destroy the server like these antis want. And yeah- i actually think this all stems around the qsmp. Aint no other Minecraft servers are having this level of drama right now, so why is it qsmp that are getting all these leaks and drama bombs at ... At the height of their popularity? I wonder. Or maybe i already know.

But all these pr disaster drama landmines, i even made a funny theory joke in my head that what if the ringleader to these alleged anti groups is actually a pr manager of one of these groups? And thats how they have been destroying everyone from the inside, collecting some OLD dirt, and being able to maybe connect or approach these exs. But that's just a funny theory i have. Like could you imagine???

Could you imagine?

And damn, i just wonder if there is a content creator policy that if one of them is being attacked than the rest have to dogpile on them no matter how they feel or what they think about the situation to save their own assets and finances? Do you think? You think that's in their contract? That would be absurd and hilarious. Imma piss myself from laughing. Look piss.

And no, i will not talk nicely about this. I never should have. You guys all deserve to be spat on and talked shit to. And i mean all. Im talking about everyone. All those that fall hook line and sinker. Dumbfucks

Will i respond to anything from this...? Mm maybe. Probably not. I don't really care what happens :P sucks to suck

(Also yeah this was barely edited, eat my ass)

(And I mean, damn if I'm wrong I'm wrong, but you fucks turn so quick when yeah- there is no physical evidence that she could easily provide)

(to reiterate for those who don't want to read the finer details. I totally think everything that has happened so far as been to rip apart the qsmp and think all these ex girlfriends as well are too conveniently timed. And whether or not they are telling the truth, there are and will always be antis lying in wait to shame and guilt everyone to damn the male accused while no physical evidence is brought forth and that they pressure people to delete their art and fics. Gross)

[jayladfanpage]

OPENED the first page of Robin lives #3 and just EXPERIENCED EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

fuCK. LIKE. GENUINELY. FUCK. going to consume raw bismuth rn im sobbubg I had hopes after they showed Shelia and just F U C KKKKKKKKKKK

I think writers forget so much of what made adtif adtif and what made Robin Jason Robin Jason. that boy was willing to give up Robin at that point for just a loving family? The issues that led to adtif? WHAT ABOUT HIS whole struggle and issues with being robin itself? what are we even doing here. Nothing is addressed. Instead we get fucking revenge story after revenge story I'm going to implode die. now I feel stupid about waiting for it. I'm half incomprehensible about most of the things I HATED. DICK. What is he saying. God.

I miss u robin Jason, he was so much... a singular character... barr's run... starlin too to a degree... UGH. HIS CHARACTER THESIS IS LOVE ??? ON GOD I will consume 2 tons of pipebombs today fucking hell on god he barely gets dialog, he barely gets shit, I liked 1 panel and that s it im

Anyhow :D yippie ! Happy to see that you're here for fanon writers and all ! Super cool of you ! And your posts are vvv cool, much love ! Would love to hear your thoughts on Robin lives#3 :) <3

Anon you are so incredibly fucking real for this

Issue #3 is... such a fucking disappointment. Exactly like you said, already the first page makes my blood fucking BOIL.

There's a fundamental misunderstanding, in this issue, of where Red Hood!Jason's ideas of revenge come from. His obsession with Joker's death specifically isn't actually out of a need to have Joker dead, it's a need to prove to himself that Bruce loves him more than he loves his mission. Which is not true for Jason or any of Bruce's other children. Gotham will always come first.

So to have Jason go after Joker with the intent to kill him (and succeed at it!) is spitting in the face of all the complicated, messy familial ties that are at the core of UTRH, for the sake of some sense that Jason was always doomed to be the way he is as an adult.

Jason also doesn't feel good after killing people. He doesn't derive any pleasure from it. He's not disgusted by or ashamed of the things he's done, far from it, but to him the murders are just a means to an end. A task to complete if he wants to save Gotham in the way that Bruce isn't able to. Murdering people sure as fuck isn't the "best thing" to ever happen to him. What the fuck.

I also really hate this page. As much as I don't expect any teenager to fully "deal" with their trauma, because they're a teenager, Jason certainly wouldn't run from it. Jason is perhaps the most openly emotional Bat character, and that's always been one of his most important personality traits. He talks about his pain and his trauma, constantly and endlessly, because Jason benefits from communicating his emotions, even if he does it aggressively or explosively.

Plus, "paralyzed with fear" ?? Jason's fear response is FIGHT not freeze. It's never been freeze. Every time Jason is scared, as Robin or otherwise, he responds by picking a fight. He flings himself head-on to the thing that's making him afraid because god fucking damn it Jason has always been good at saving himself -- which is why he's so desperate to have Bruce kill Joker, so that somebody else will protect him for a change.

This plot I'm conflicted on. I've always hated Timmy Todd and always thought that Jason should have been Joker Junior instead. However, this was not the comic to do it in. Robin Lives should have been a comic about trauma and vulnerability and healing. Main Continuity already gives us the neverending loop of Jason's trauma, of how it keeps constantly getting worse and worse, and I wanted Robin Lives to have been different. I wanted it to grab me by the shoulders and say He could have been fine. Jason could have healed. If only things had been different, Jason Todd could have been good.

But it didn't. It's just another fucking Cheer storyline where we read about a child being "doomed from the beginning" and shifting the blame of Red Hood onto Jason for being a lost cause instead of acknowledging the greater context of Jason's death and revival and it's just. Ugh. It fucking sucks.

Also, Bruce would never say this about saving like a dozen children. "Bigger fish to fry" WHILE HE IS RESCUING BRAINWASHED CHILDREN? where is my Bruce Wayne and what did you do to him

About the fanon writers -- thank you! I always find the hate for them a little misplaced. There are dozens of canons across hundreds of comics and fanfiction as a medium is supposed to have a certain degree of separation from its source. I think a lot less people would be upset over "fanon" batfam fics if the writers understood better core traits of the characters. Fanfiction isn't about "Would [x] do this" it's about "How would [x] do this" and a lot of non-writers don't understand that and just think fanon is always horrible.

[anime-grimmy-art]

It’s this time of the year again, folks. Time to wrap up the art Ive made in the last 12 months in another Year in Review! I’ve noticed that this is my fifth Year in Review in a row, so I’ll be making an extra post looking back on the progress in those last 5 years!

I've got a lot to say about this year, but purely art wise, I've gone all when it comes to comics, damn! I've kinda found a format that is messy, and therefore more time efficient, yet still looks good. I even made 2 animatics and lotsa shorts/reels! All that on top of opening coms twice, and, oh yeah, MAKING A WHOLE ASS 4MIN ANIMATION ON MY OWN.

How is my hand still alive.

2023 has been….interesting, to say the least. The first half year I was working on my thesis project, aka making an animated short all on my own (in the art department), which makes it honestly surprising how much I managed to churn out between animating. Trigun rly did have me in a choke hold.

Summer was a bit more spotty, esp. with me not being able to draw anything during August as I was writing my thesis (and doing commissions). And towards the end of the year, Kingdom Hearts tried to save me, but alas, Genshin Impact has finally sunk its teeth into me and dragged me to the bottom of the rabbit hole. It all started with me watching a story summary and lore videos while I was sick after my thesis and I was too intrigued to not dig deeper and well, first I fell in love with Kaeya and then the ships started dropping in left and right.

I’m not gonna lie, the last few months have been weird. I finished my masters in October, and have been on job hunt since, sadly without success so far. I’m existing in this weird limbo of still not grasping I’m not a student anymore after 18 years in education, not really being able to accept I’m an adult, yet desperately trying to find something so I can make a routine, cos rn Im too scared to build a rhythm as I know I’ll have a so much harder time readjusting again. It’s left me in a weird emotional state, where most of the time I feel fine, but when it counts, there’s just, nothing. No joy at getting my diploma, no anticipation to finally go to a convention again, neither any sadness hearing my grandfather died. It frustrates me that it extends to my art as well, there’s excitement over ideas and concepts, but no motivation to pick up the pencil, which makes me either not finish art at all or making so many shortcuts and just ending up with sth not satisfactory to me since it’s not the idea I sought after.

Tho, not everything is doom and gloom. I DID finish a whole ass short animation and got my masters degree, that IS sth to be proud of. Also, while Im struggling at drawing, I’ve also kinda started integrating my shortcuts into my style and some stuff I’ve thrown together actually turns out real good nowadays. Also, and this might be a bit of a weird one, I’m so fucking happy to know I can still enjoy gay ships. I’ve been a bit uncertain over the last few years because when I was around 16-18, I had a real big yaoi phase, which mostly came from the fact so much stuff came out that tickled my brain in the right way (Free, Haikyuu, etc.). But over the years, my enthusiasm died down, and I even started to resent some ships because it’s all some fandoms produced. I often found myself liking a hetero ship more than the popular gay ship, which really made me not wanna stick around because I did not care for most fanart and you can only go through a tag with art you don’t care about so long before you lose interest. I think in retrospect that it rly had nothing to do with the ships being gay ships but rather cos the fans just shoved it in your face when you didn’t care (and shipping culture nowadays also can get real scary). But I’m so happy to see I can still get obsessed with a ship and it’s all thanks to Haikaveh/Kavetham. It really just needed the right flavour for me to dig in again. And oh my god, I FINALLY like a ship with a SHIT TON of art and fanfictions, no more scrounging the crumbs from the bottom of the barrel. 

Anyways, enough lamenting. Here’s to hoping I can bite my tongue and get shit started properly in 2024, and that my brainrots may make me obsessed enough to churn out an obscene amount of fanart again.

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Hello,

Is there any way you could translate Samatoki's newest solo, Rinka/Blue Flame? I've been looking for a translation everywhere, but cannot seem to find one.

Best regards and thank you very much.

Oh my God I am desperate slug-san, please please pleaaasee tell me you know where to find a translation of Samatoki's Rinka/Blue Flame!! OTL I was so surprised a translator wasn't already linked in the wiki which is where I usually look first & then I couldn't find anything by searching on twitter or google or tumblr and I just really wanna know what his song is about!! T°T I can't believe I found a translation of Honobono's song but not of Samatoki's song?? I must be doing sth wrong.. Help :')

Hey slug-san! A follow-up of the Rinka/Blue Flame message. I've searched some more, and I think there's actually no translation of it so far anywhere.. T~T Would you be willing to translate it? A standard/literal translation with a lil clean-up like you did with Akuma no Hana would be totally alright!! Thank you so much for giving us the opportunity to engage with Hypmic in a way the official creators haven't made possible yet! :D <3

Sure. Under a cut for length.

I'm running at a speed faster than grief, going so fast I leave even the smallest bad feelings behind me. I spit on my dead-end future, spit in the dirty puddles. Now I'm clinging to the guardrail, tears tracing scribbled lines down my cheeks. I bet it looks pretty comical. C'mon, laugh at me, why don't you? Let's start somewhere around the unhappy ending. Why not? Works for me. The clear, blue sky waits for sunset; but to hell with that. I don't need that crap! Let's do whatever we damn well please, here in this vacant city. Just the thought of them makes me light up a cigarette. Look, I don't wanna tell people we gotta fight each other to get what we want. I just think we have to, because there's things out there that're worth keeping safe. There's a stray dog baying at the rain streaking down the glass, and that SOB won't shut up. Hey, fuck your umbrella. Who needs that kinda crap? Throw it away and let the rain drench you too. The beat's entrenched in my soul, a stupid requiem for this unfair world we live in, lying on its sickbed. C'mon, get in there and pay your respects to it. You don't have the time to sit around feeling sorry for yourself. You know lashing out's the answer, right? You'll be okay. And I'm not gonna tell you you're running from your responsibilities. So c'mon. Quit your sniveling and come ride with me. The brakes don't work; those emotions never get any slower. And we're burning ourselves out, but don't let that stop you from coming along with me for the ride. Ride with me through thick and thin. Ride with me all the way to the grave.

A few final notes:

Sunset is a metaphor for melancholy. When Samatoki rejects that in the third verse, he's rejecting sitting through his feelings of loss. He uses this image again later in the line I wrote as "sit around feeling sorry for yourself."

The gender and plurality of the "them" Samatoki thinks about isn't specified. While it's most likely referring to his family, the verse immediately afterward sounds like a direct reference to Ichirou and Samatoki battling to save their siblings in the TDD breakup.

"We're burning ourselves out" could also be written like "We're burning ourselves down to ash" which connects with the cigarette image.

Given the prevalence of stray dogs in hardboiled/yakuza fiction and their recurrence as an image in Samatoki's other raps, the stray dog should be understood to be Samatoki himself.

[sobbingstars]

SEASON 4 UMBRELLA ACADEMY SPOILERS!!!

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Hi! WHAT THE FUCK! My hot takes on this latest season bc if I don’t say these I’m gonna go insane.

Luthor: becoming a dancer was really funny. It was also kinda nice bc he was so ashamed of his body b4 when he was part monkey, so it’s good to see him being more comfortable in his own skin. And speaking of him being part monkey, that had NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS POWERS. His powers are SUPER STRENGTH, his father INJECTED HIM WITH MONKEY DNA OR SMT TO SAVE HIS LIFE. Made NO SENSE!

Diego: Diego being an absent/emotionally neglectful/bad father made NO SENSE! We saw him with Stan, he learned to be a father. Plus, he had his own issues with his dad, of course he would mentally do everything he could to avoid being his father. And also, him and Lila being in an unhappy marriage was so weird. Like, man was literally obsessed w/ her in season 3. What???

Alison: So we decided to not address any of her wrongs and just forgive her. She ASSAULTED LUTHOR. She tried to KILL VICTOR. SHE KILLED HARLAN. SHR TEAMED UP WITH REGGIE. Nothing??? Just forgive her for reasons??? That being said, Claire bear you were STUNNING thank you for being here and thank you Millie Davis, you were my childhood. But also, girl??? Show some support for your uncle. He needs help sometimes, just bc he’s immortal doesn’t mean he doesn’t have feelings :(

Klaus: I actually think they didn’t go super wrong with Klaus. Him becoming super paranoid after losing his powers made sense bc he died like every other day and just didn’t notice bc he just kept coming back, so I’d be afraid of everything too. And I think him being scared to have his powers again bc he was afraid he’d relapse is honestly so in character. That being said, fake that he didn’t even consider talking to Dave once he was sober and had his powers and wasn’t actively trying to stop the end of the world. And yall don’t even know how upset I was when he started levitating with his SHOES ON. NOT COMIC ACCURATE.

Five: WORDS DONT DESCRIBE MY RAGE. BECOMING A CIA AGENT? WHEN THE WORLD WASN’T ACTIVELY ENDING AND HE COULD JUST RETIRE? YOU KNOW AT LEAST ON OF HIS SIBLINGS WOULD LET HIM STAY. AND FALLING IN LOVE WITH LILA?? IT MADE NO SENSE, WAS SO OUT OF CHARACTER EHRN HE LITERALLY WAS LIKE ‘Lila would be stupid to throw away her happy life’ AND PROCEEDED TO WRECK HER HAPPY LIFE? I GET THAT IT WAS SEVEN YEARS BUT GOD DAMN FIVE, YOU WERE MARRIED TO DOLORES FOR THIRTY! AND THEY DIDNT EVEN BRING HER UP! NOT ONCE! AND JUST GIVING UP AND LETTING THE WORLD END? FOR FUNSIES? ABANDONING HIS FAMILY? NOT GIVING TWO SHITS? MAN ENDED THE WORLD THREE TIMES TRYING TO SAVE HIS FAMILY! HIS FAMILY IS ONE OF THE ONLY THINGS HE CARES ABT AND HE WOULD NEVER EVEN CONSIDER GOING AFTER HIS BROTHERS WIFE! Five Hargreeves, they could never make me hate you, but what the FUCK!

Ben: So unrealistic that he didn’t break down any his siblings all being dead once. We deserved a heart between him and Five where Ben was like ‘All my family is dead’ and Fives like ‘I know how that feels’ bc his siblings were dead for 40+ years. Instead, he just had no character development at all and just died bc of a girl he met once. The only reason I was a little sad when he died was bc of season one and two Ben who was so sweet and amazing and season three Ben who just wanted to be loved and accepted. They didn’t even have any relationship development between him and Jennifer.

Victor: I’m sorry, he owns a BAR and was an awful boyfriend?? WHAT!? I was hoping we were gonna have this emotional scene where he plays the Violin again bc he hasn’t played it since he ENDED THE WORLD in season one, and he would be happy bc Violin was a genuine passion of his and he was gonna no longer be afraid. And being a bad boyfriend?? Unrealistic, he was so kind and good with kids??? Are you kidding??? That being said I really liked when he stood up to Reggie. That was rlly funny.

Lila: Yall know what I’m gonna say. You just KNOW. I GET that transitioning from full time assassin to full time mom would be a hard switch but you’re telling me she WOULDN’T have ANY sort of job? NONE??? With all her family being back in her life? She’d just sit in the house? And she wouldn’t sit in the house and be unhappy. She would absolutely call Diego out on his shit and complaining problem and he’d be like ‘Yes ma’am.’ Bc their relationship was so fun in season two and three and then they made it into a no-fun, unhappy marriage, and Lila just had so little of her original personality. And her liking Five was so weird. She sees him as a KID. He LOOKS like a kid. Made no sense.

Reggie: Actually wasn’t a total ass this season. Got into a malewife/girlboss relationship. Managed to actually have feelings. That being said, why how the fuck was he an ALIEN IN SEASON TWO??? I get that his wife was the one with the weird power things, but they just??? Never explained it??? What was going on??? I was so confused this ENTIRE SEASON.