#this chapter was sorta embarrassing to write

[spencerthedeerhumanhybrid]

Chapter 15 of A Contract I Regret Signing

Written by SpencerTheDeerHumanHybrid

Celebration! (And A Little Fun In The Berthroom)

It was a bit of a hassle trying to get all the drinks and other stuff for the celebration back at the base but it was so worth it in Bumblebee’s opinion. Everybody was happy in the base, all partying, drinking, and whatnot. Hot Rod and Optimus were in the living room chatting away at the corner, Optimus had a blush on his face for some reason as he listened to Hot Rod’s chatter.

Nova, Bulkhead, and Cliffjumper were talking with one another as the Jettwins played with the Lambo twins nearby.

Jazz and Prowl were having fun messing with Sentinel as they continued to put Sari next to him.

Blurr and Bumblebee sat on the couch drinking a few cubes of high-grade and were just cuddling and chatting. Bumblebee snuggled closer to Blurr’s chassis and looked up at him with loving optics.

“I’m glad I met you, Blurr,” Bumblebee said. Blurr blushed and put their arms around Bumblebee to hold him closer. They laid there for a couple of kilks before Bumblebee got an idea.

”Hey, Blurr,” Bumblebee said, pushing himself a little bit up with his arms. “You’ve done a lot for me and I was wondering if you would like a gift?~” Blurr was slightly confused at this before he realized what Bumblebee meant and blushed hard. Bumblebee chuckled at the speedster and winked at him. Blurr gingerly shrugged Bumblebee to the side of him before he stood up from the couch, grabbed Bumblebee, and zoomed to Bumblebee’s room. Nova watched as Blurr ran from the couch to Bumblebee’s room and silently chuckled to herself.

’He’ll be lucky if he could even move tomorrow,’ She thought as she continued to chat with the others.

~…~

Blurr slammed the door shut and carefully placed Bumblebee onto the berth. Bumblebee shook his head slightly as he was getting out of the dizziness when he noticed Blurr in between his legs.

”Ooo~ Feeling risky there Zippy?” Bumblebee asked, seductively. Blurr smiled up at him as they placed his arms on his thighs and spread them. He then started to lick the pelvis armour as he continued to stare at Bumblebee with lustful optics.

Bumblebee quietly moaned as Blurr licked and rubbed at his pelvis. After a few more cycles of this Bumblebee finally unlatched his pelvis armour and released his spike and valve. Blurr let go of one of Bumblebee’s thighs and rubbed at the valve.

Bumblebee mewed and gasped as he felt Blurr go a little bit faster and pushed one of his digits inside the mush. Blurr rapidly fingered the scout as he felt their own spike throbbing in the armour. Bumblebee let out an aggravated whine as he felt the digit pull out of him, but he gasped as he felt a glossa take its place. Bumblebee clenched his thighs around Blurr’s helm as they lapped at the sensitive valve.

Bumblebee suddenly sat up and gripped at both sides of Blurr’s helm as he felt him practically trying to suck out an overload from him.

”Ahh~ Blurr! D-don’t stop pl-please!!!” Bumblebee moaned as he felt an overload rapidly coming. Bumblebee cried in ecstasy as Blurr happily drank up his overload. Bumblebee flopped onto the sheets, in-venting heavily as Blurr sprang up to put their helm on top of his chassis. They laid there in peace and Bumblebee cooled down from his heavy and warm overload (one of the best he had, in his opinion!).

”Don’t think it’s over yet, Zippy!” Before Blurr could even react, Bumblebee flipped the two of them around which resulted in Bumblebee sitting on top of Blurr pelvis. Bumblebee rubbed his valve against Blurr’s spike panel which was very close to opening up.

”C’mon Zippy, open up! You know you wanna!~” Bumblebee teased. Blurr looked up nervously at Bumblebee and hesitantly opened up his spike panel. Bumblebee’s processor blanked at what he saw; A bright blue, above average spike with a fair amount of girth but it had a few bumps and LED lights that generously made up for it.

’I want that in me, now.’ Bumblebee thought.

”Sorry-if-this-is-going-too-fast-for-you-Honeybee,” Blurr said, cutting Bumblebee out of his thoughts. Bumblebee smiled warmly at Blurr. He held their helm up towards him and said,

”Blurr, you will never ever make me feel like we’re going too fast. I’m happy that I found someone who I can be happy with forever.” Blurr sat up and smiled at Bumblebee before bringing their servos onto his servos, holding them in front of the two of them, and gently kissed him.

Bumblebee leaned down towards Blurr and laid down on his chassis as they continued kissing. Blurr let go of one of Bumblebee’s servos and wrapped it around his waist and flipped the both of them over; Blurr on top of Bumblebee.

They both moaned in each other’s mouth as Blurr’s spike rubbed into Bumblebee’s valve. After a long while, they let go of each other's mouths with a wet ‘pop’ and looked at one another with a lustful yet very loving look, a thin line of oral fluid between them. Blurr let his other servo let go of Bumblebee’s and placed it on his thigh.

“Blurr, take me please,” Bumblebee pleaded. Blurr pushed Bumblebee onto the sheets before them and locked his remaining servo with Bumblebee other servo and said,

“With-pleasure-Honeybee.” Blurr started at a slow pace, trying to get Bumblebee's valve used to being stretched. Bumblebee moaned with delight at the welcomed intrusion. Blurr started to rock back and forth into Bumblebee, gasping softly on how warm and tight Bumblebee’s valve was.

Blurr leaned down on Bumblebee and gently kissed each part of his frame.

”I-love-you-so-much-Honeybee,” Blurr said while still kissing Bumblebee’s frame. Blurr was entranced by the soft, pitiful little moans and gasps that came out of Bumblebee’s intake. After a few cycles of Blurr gently going in and out of Bumblebee’s valve, Bumblebee started to get a little impatient.

”Blurr,” Bumblebee said.

”Hmm?” Blurr hummed as he stopped his movements.

”Go faster and rougher please!~” Bumblebee whined. Blurr looked at him with uncertainty. They also wanted to go faster on him but he was worried that they would hurt him.

”Are….are-you-sure?” Blurr asked. “I-mean-I’m-worried-that-you-can-get-hurt-considering-I-am-known-for-going-too-fast-and-AH!” He yelped as he felt Bumblebee grab his neck and pull his face closer to him.

“Listen here Zippy. I do not care about that. I want you to show how much you love me right here, right now,” Bumblebee said, impatiently. Blurr stared at Bumblebee for a moment before smiling, letting go of his servo to pin both of Bumblebee’s legs on both sides of his helm. Bumblebee flushed and smiled seductively up at Blurr, burying his face on the sheets below him.

”Do your worst Zippy,~” Bumblebee said, winking. Blurr grinned at him before jackhammering into him.

”AH! OH F-FUCK!!” Bumblebee moaned. Blurr went deeper and deeper into Bumblebee's tight heat, their spike forming a little bulge on his stomach. Blurr leaned down to bite down on Bumblebee’s neck cables which caused a little energon to leak. Blurr let go of Bumblebee’s legs in order to grab Bumblebee’s hips and angle them up so he could go deeper and faster.

”FRAG! AH S-SHIT D-DON'T STOP!! Bumblebee yelled. Bumblebee could feel his chassis wanting to open up and didn’t stop to think about it before he opened it. Blurr paused for only an astro-second before doing the same and was about to press both of their sparks together before they saw something else and stopped.

”Why…why did you stop-“ Bumblebee froze when he looked down and saw what you would expect; a bright blue spark. However, something else was below the spark chamber.

’Are-those-energon-pouches?’ Blurr thought. Bumblebee blushed and tried to cover his chassis.

”Shut up! Don’t look at me!” Bumblebee yelled. Blurr realized that he was talking out loud.

“Bee..I- Just shut up!” Bumblebee cried. Bumblebee had tears coming down his optics. He didn’t want Blurr of all ‘bots to know that he had energon pouches! Blurr frowned sadly at Bumblebee. They didn’t want to see him crying just because of this but he knew that he was probably insecure about them.

Blurr leaned down and softly kissed Bumblebee. Bumblebee froze in surprise before kissing back. Blurr pulled back and stared at Bumblebee with a loving and sad expression.

”Bumblebee-I-don’t-care-about-them-you-are-still-so-beautiful-with-or-without-them,” Blurr said. Bumblebee smiled at him, rested his helm on their shoulders and hugged him, pulling him closer. Blurr started the movements again, slowly at first before gradually getting faster and faster, earning delicious moans from the beetle.

“Ah!~ Blurr!! More-OH!-please!” Blurr sped up his movements, his spark chamber getting closer to Bumblebee’s. Bumblebee noticed that Blurr seemed unsure whether or not to actually put their sparks together so he locked his legs around Blurr. Blurr looked at Bumblebee with surprise before smiling and finally putting their sparks together along with one particular deep thrust.

”Ahhhhhh!~" Both of them screamed. Both of their overloads nearly had them crash out on the berth and the both of them panted to ease their overheated frames. Blurr and Bumblebee looked at each other softly and kissed before they fell into a deep recharge.

~…~

Nova Storm was walking towards the kitchen after sleeping outside. She knew that Blurr and ‘Bee would go at it and suggested to the others to go party outside but even that didn’t stop them from hearing the two speedsters. She paused when she saw Bumblebee already at the kitchen grabbing two cans of oil and adding sweeteners to them. She went and grabbed her own can and looked down at ‘Bee as she took a few sips.

”Y’all are loud as fuck by the way,” She said. Bumblebee just shrugged and said,

”Whatcha gonna do about it, Novaload?”

”I told you that in confidence.”

”I know. It’s fun to mess with you.”

“Go frag yourself.”

”Blurr already did that.” Bumblebee chuckled before going towards his room. As he walked away, Nova couldn’t help but think,

��How in the world is he still walking?!’

~…~

Bumblebee opened the door and smiled as he saw Blurr finish cleaning up their mess from last night. Blurr looked up and smiled warmly at him and raced towards him. Bumblebee put the cans down on the table next to him and embraced Blurr as he excitedly kissed them.

”Love-you-Honeybee,” Blurr said as Bumblebee landed a peck on his cheek.

”I know Zippy,” Bumblebee responded. They sat down on the clean berth and silently drank the oil as they sat in a comfortable silence. They looked at the door in surprise as a knocking came from it.

”Blurr! Bumblebee! We have something for the two of you!” Bulkhead yelled from the other side of the door. They looked at each other and shrugged before going towards the living room. When they arrived, Bumblebee gasped at the assortment of new video games and snacks around his usual spot near the TV.

”EEE! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!” Bumblebee yelled as he hugged everyone individually.

“Wanna try them out?” Sari asked. Bumblebee nodded as he and Sari booted up one of the new games. Blurr smiled at his beloved, happy that he was doing better after all this. Everyone else let out either chuckles (Jettwins, Nova, and Bulkhead) or sighs (literally everyone else) at Bumblebee’s brothers glaring at Blurr as they sat next to Bumblebee. Everything was perfect and that’s how Bumblebee wanted it to stay…forever.

[3d-wifey]

I've read that Johnny NSFW alphabet like 30 times, it was so gooddddd, there's been no good Johnny Cage smut or writing in general honestly. Your Johnny just feels so in character and you're feeding me crumbs, I need moreeee 🥺🥺🥺🥺 (that sneak peek made me levitate)

Show 'em Who I Belong To

Pairing: Johnny Cage x Reader Synopsis: Johnny has seriously pissed you off this time, like, royally. The "begging on his knees" kind of pissed off. But luckily, he knows just the thing to do to prove he’s sorry. Word Count: 2.58k Playlist: Here's a Johnny Cage playlist to read his smut or just get inspo from, I made it myself TW: Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Cunnilingus, dom!reader, sub!johnny cage, switch!Reader, switch!johnny cage, dom!johnny cage, sub!Reader, Forgiveness, Making Up, Apology Sex, Vaginal Penetration, Recording, Sex Tapes, Exhibitionism, Begging, Hand Jobs, Grinding, Crying During Sex, johnny cage loves you, johnny cage is just really really dumb, celebrity!reader, No Spoilers, Making Out, "straight" couple, johnny's slutty little slacks, Johnny cage is a little shit, Pussy drunk, cock drunk, Praise Kink, simp johnny cage, no other canon characters show up in this, Smut, Shameless Smut, Gratuitous Smut A/N: Since the poll I put on Tumblr voted for switch!Johnny, that's what I'm doing! This chapter will mostly be sub!johnny and dom!reader with a switch at the end. It's a bit of a mixed pov, but it's mainly from the reader's pov. Nothing but Dom!Johnny in the next chapter and sorry if the quality was lacking, I've slept a total of 10 hours in a span of 72 hours. CHECK OUT THAT JOHNNY NSFW ALPHABET I WROTE, IT'S CONSIDERED CANON TO THIS! Part 2 (tbm) Ao3

Your acrylics tap a beat onto the arm of the plush white couch as you read the tweet on your phone.

" Johnny Cage spotted cozying up on set with Co-Star. Has the star finally met his match? " Your nails stop and you glance at where Johnny kneels fidgeting on the floor in front of you before looking back to the screen.

He spreads his hands. "Okay, I know this looks bad." His voice floats in the otherwise quiet mansion. "But will you please stop ignoring me?"

You look down your nose at him. "Is this enough attention for you?" You sneer and he grimaces.

"My PR team cooked this up a while ago and they've been hounding me about it for ages. It was so unimportant to me that it sorta...slipped my mind." He shrugs and your glare hardens him. " C'mon , babe, it's just a little publicity stunt our agents had us do for the movie. It doesn't mean anything." He laughs and his nonchalance about the situation is pissing you off more than you already are.

"Do I look like I'm laughing?" You fume and his brows furrow. "This isn't funny, Jonathan."

" Oof, " he winces, "government name."

You're both celebrities, you know what you signed up for when you agreed to date him after years and years of his begging and truly horrible pickup lines.

You're not mad about the situation itself, not really. You've gotten into drama before loads of times to drum up hype around a new project, but nothing like this. At least, not while you were dating Johnny. 

You're mad that you had to find out about it from the trending page on Twitter along with a slew of concerned messages from your friends, family, and manager.

You scroll down and read messages concerned fans have posted, worried that you and Johnny have broken up or, worse, that he cheated on you. But you know that he knows that you know he wouldn’t dare.

"Look at this shit." You shove your phone in his face. The screen reflects off the sunglasses that sit low on the bridge of his nose and he squints as the brightness nearly blinds him. "'I hope this isn't how she finds out.' 'I'd be so embarrassed if I was her.' 'I knew Johnny wouldn't stay faithful for long.'"

He looks from you to the screen and then back to you. "...You're mad."

You stare down at him.

"You are un- fucking -believable.” You move to stand up, but he grabs ahold of your hips.

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry, I'm sorry ! I didn't mean to upset you. Next time, I'll give you a heads up— I mean I'll run it by you.” Johnny corrects, pulling you closer when you try to pull away again. "What can I do to make it up to you, huh?" The muscles in his biceps flex against you as he wraps his arms around your waist. You try to stay firm, but it's pretty hard when he's pressing reverent kisses to your stomach.

You shiver from the coldness of his rings as he runs a big hand up your calf, traveling up your outer thigh to hook the hem of your dress at your hip before repeating the process up your other leg.

You want to stay mad—you are mad. This is incredibly careless and he didn't consider your feelings at all and...and you don't want him to think he can get out of trouble by kissing up to you. But, begrudgingly, you card your fingers through the short hair at the nape of his neck.

"I'm still really upset about this, Johnny." You frown.

"I know, sweetheart. And I really am sorry. But, hey! I know something that'll make us both feel better." He grins up at you and you let him lead you back to the couch with a huff, dropping down once the back of your calves brush the white upholstery. 

“I’m sure you do.” You roll your eyes, spreading your legs to make room for him without thinking. “How would you —ahh !” You yelp at the sudden pinprick of pain on the skin of your inner thigh and it morphs into a moan when the pinch is quickly followed by a warm heat. You look down in time to see the pink of Johnny’s tongue as he licks over the tender spot—tender because he bit you like a damn dog!

“I’m sorry, what were you saying? I couldn’t really hear you over all those cute little noises.” You can feel the shit-eating grin against your skin as he talks. “You’re so sensitive. Definitely not a complaint—it does amazing things to my ego.” He laughs, hooking his hands under the back of your knees and pushing your legs up until the heels of your feet are balancing precariously on the edge of the seat.

He grips your hips, pulling you further down the couch and closer to his face. He moves your legs so your feet rest on his shoulders, the white polish of your toenails reflecting the light.

He leans in and you hold your breath in anticipation. You don’t want him to think he can just distract you and you’ll forget about being mad at him but—he leans in close to where the skirt of your sundress rucks up around your stomach, warm breath making you clench around nothing with each pant—but you like getting ate out almost as much as Johnny likes to do it.

You sigh as the warm, wet heat of his tongue drags across the damp seat of your panties. 

" Johnny. " You whine in frustration, fingers tightening in his sandy hair, as he pulls away as quickly as he came.

"Hold on, sweetheart. I think you're gonna like this." He grins, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. You pause as he unlocks it and presents it to you, camera on and recording you.

"What the hell are you doing?" You try to push as much disapproval into your voice as you can as you flip it from the front-facing camera to the rear one, but that’s an almost impossible task since he’s rubbing his nose up and down the crease of where your thigh meets your pussy. You end up sounding far more breathy than intended.

"What?” He grins into the camera. “You can watch this whenever you need a reminder of who I belong to." He says and if you weren't wet before, you definitely are now.

For as long as you’ve known him, Johnny has never been one to half-ass anything . It’s whole ass or nothing with him putting 110% into everything he’s faced with. However, when you first started dating, you hadn’t thought that would hold up when he had his head between your legs—yet another thing Johnny went out of his way to prove you wrong about.

The camera captures it the moment he pushes your panties to the side; he’s in his element.

There’s no preamble, no warning. Johnny dives in giving you no time to prepare for the shock of pleasure. You jerk away, but he holds onto your hips, hands becoming heavy weights you can’t lift. 

“You always taste so good for me, it’s insane.” He groans as your thighs try to squeeze his head, but he keeps them open easily. You sigh shakily at the casual show of strength. “I’d stay down here forever if you’d let me.” You bite your lip to muffle your soft moans, reminding yourself to steady the phone every few seconds, but forgetting to do so almost as soon as you do. But you can’t be blamed when Johnny gives head like he’s training for the Olympics; trying to break his previous record each attempt. You’ve been eaten out by people other than Johnny—of course, you have. It’s a requirement—but none of your past lovers come anywhere close to this. Johnny blows them out of the water every time.

That would be fine if you didn’t factor in his ego. Which would also be fine…any other day. But today, after the shit he pulled, you aren’t in the mood. This is supposed to be his way of apologizing, after all. So before he can get any ideas, you blink past the haze he’s put you in and grab the back of his neck. His back stiffens. He glances up at you and the shift is so swift that you doubt the camera even picked it up. His shoulders relax, almost limp against you, wide eyes going lidded as his grip on you softens.

“I know you can be louder than that, Johnny. I, hah , wanna hear how sorry you are. You are sorry, right?” You narrow your eyes.

His words are muffled since he refuses to take his mouth off of you, but you’re able to make out ‘yes’ and ‘princess’ which is good enough for you. Through the camera, you manage to get his pleading eyes and his hand unabashedly palming his bulge in the same frame and you smile around a moan.

"Are you hard, Johnny?" He doesn't hesitate to nod enthusiastically, and you feel yourself throb in his mouth. You're sure if your feet were on the ground he'd be grinding against your leg shamelessly. His body knows this too since his hips keep making aborted little thrusts, itching for relief from his tight gray slacks. "Heh, of course, you are. You can't help yourself, c–can you? Go on, then.”

He pauses, assessing you for a second to see if you’ll follow it up with anything else. You’re being surprisingly benevolent. He always has to work to earn your approval when you get like this, any pleasure he gets is dictated by you—not that he’s complaining—and that’s on the days when he hasn’t pissed you off. He honestly didn’t think he’d be cumming tonight, but he won’t look a gift horse in the mouth. 

He buries his tongue in you, licking from your pulsing hole to your throbbing clit as his hands work to unbuckle his belt and pull his dick out. He groans in relief once he’s free, squeezing the base of his dick so he doesn’t cum too quickly. You’re certainly not helping, shivering against him like a house in a storm and he moans in synch with you when you yank on his hair.

He freezes at the press of sharp nails at the nape of his neck. He shivers at the slight pinch of pain before leaning into it and you reward him with smoothing down the hair there. He stops the movement of his hands, but not his mouth.

“If you’re touching yourself, you’ll do it slowly or not at all. You wanna make it up to me, don’t you? Yeah ?” You hiss as he nods against you, mouth a tight suction on your clit. “Then you don’t cum until I do.” Normally he’s more bratty than this, making you fuck the submission out of him, but he must really be sorry because he does just as you say. He slows down as you instruct, his sharp brows furrowing as one of his hands grip the fat of your thigh. His other hand jerks him off haltingly like he actively has to remind himself to obey you. 

“You’re being so good for me, baby.” You gush, squirming in his hold. “ Mmh, s’fucking good.” You have to adjust your grip on his phone when he grunts at your praise, uncertain if you should jerk away or towards the vibrations. You run your nails over his scalp before yanking on his blond hair and he moans like a pornstar, hips thrusting into his hand. To the untrained eye—or ear—it seems like he’s playing it up for the camera, performing, but he’s always this loud. Especially when he’s got your pussy in his mouth.

It's almost embarrassing, the wet sounds of Johnny sloppily eating you out. Your moans mix with his and bounce around the mansion's walls with a filthy echo the longer this goes on. 

He stiffens his tongue and you know what he wants. You move your hand to the back of his head, gripping the soft strands to pull him forward. You thrust your hips with helpless, heady moans as you fuck his face. His heavy gaze burns through the camera to stare up at you with his tongue out. The corner of his mouth quirks up into a smirk and he winks. You throw your head back, eyes closed with an obscene moan and he moves forward to press his nose against your clit, tongue flat as you move his head side to side.

“Johnny , mmh, ‘m gonna, f– fuck, ‘m gonna cum!” You cry and he moans into you in response. You glance down to see his foggy glasses riding low on his nose and he stares right back, brown eyes half open but full of lust. The apples of his flushed cheeks become accentuated, sharpening with his grin. The barest hint of teeth brush your clit before pressing against it and you jerk back with the strength of your orgasm. Your mouth falls open with a repeated whine of his name, legs shaking as you hold his head still.

“Damn.” He curses, pulling away when your muscles untense. He doesn't bother wiping his mouth, wearing your slick like a trophy as he smiles into the camera. “Should’ve got that on camera. It was a money shot.” You scoff, smiling despite yourself. You pull his glasses off and sit them on your head before you press stop on the camera and toss the phone on the couch beside you, pulling him to you by the open collar of his button-up. You kiss him deep, tasting yourself on his tongue with a groan. His hands go to your hips and you wrap your legs around his waist, licking into his mouth. 

“You played dirty.” You slide your hand down his chest, unbuttoning his shirt as you go. You grab his dick, still hard and leaking against his stomach. He laughs before whimpering into your mouth at your touch, rutting up into it. You swipe a thumb across his tip where precum drips down the underside of the head. "You're so wet, baby. This all for me?" You pull away to lick yourself off him, tongue dragging across the skin of his chin as you twist your wrist with every upward stroke. 

"Are you joking? O–of course. Can, shit , can you blame me?” He puffs into your neck, hot air warming your neck as you alternate between licking and kissing his jaw. His fingers spasm around your hips, and your hands fly to his shoulders when he pulls you forward until your ass is barely on the edge of the couch. Now he’s in the perfect position to—

You gasp as he ruts against you, still sensitive as his dick slides between your pussy lips. There’s no friction with how wet you both are and with every upwards thrust he bumps your twitching clit. 

“Wait, I’m— mmnh —Johnny, I’m sensitive.” 

“Ah, ah, sweetheart. You said I can cum when you do,” you jump when he nips at your neck, strong arms wrapping around your back holding you tight to him. “Besides, I’m not done apologizing.” You rock against him despite your complaining. The overwhelming feeling only increases when he bends over you to reach something, and it’s enough to distract you from the sound a phone makes when you press record.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

The Art of Etiquette Part 7 | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: Going gown shopping is proving to be a bit more difficult than you had expected and Jungkook doesn't make it any easier Pairing: f!reader x Etiquette instructor Jungkook Word Count: 4.7k~ Warnings: I don't think there's any need for warnings but so much teasinggg a/n: Sorry this too so long to get out 😭 I've lost motivation to write these days so it's been taking a bit longer for me to get chapters out but I hope you guys like it! p.s. kinda sorta edited lol I just wanted to get it out already Start from the beginning

After talking to Jesse last night about everything that happened between Jungkook and I, I've been even more confused than I was to begin with.

"HE KISSED YOU?!?!" Jesse yells into the phone making me cringe as I pull it away to save my hearing but ultimately fail. 

"I don't know, kind of but not really. He leaned in and kissed my cheek but his lips did brush up against the side of my mouth so I don't know. I'm just so confused because at the start I thought he hated me. He was rude and demanding and always tried to intimidate me. I will admit that it worked sometimes but I just never know what he actually wants from me" I complain while switching to my airpods so I can walk around my room and talk to him while looking for an outfit. 

"I think you're over thinking things. I think it all comes down to the fact that he found you challenging at first so that might've been why you thought that he hated you" he explains. 

"Challenging? What's that supposed to mean?" I question, flipping through the clothes in my closet, struggling to find something that's comfortable but not too casual, easy to take off so it makes trying on dresses a bit easier but doesn't make me look like I didn't put in any effort. You would think I was getting dressed for a first date or something based off the existential crisis I seem to be having. 

"He probably thought you were some bratty rich kid that needed a real push to break out of that mold. I bet he's had to deal with a lot of divas in his time. Don't take it personally though, I'm sure that he just goes into those first few lessons with that mindset and then loosens up a bit as you go along. Or at least that's what I would think based off of what you've told me" he explains. 

"You're probably right" I agree while trying to choose between two colors of what sweater to wear. "Pink or Blue?" I question and without hesitation he chooses pink. "What did you end up putting together?" he asks, eager to know what I've settled on. 

"Pink sweater, white skirt with nude colored leggings and some white boots. Oh and I'm pairing it with the white pea coat James got for me last Christmas" I relay, going through the outfit in my head, leaving everything on their hangers so I won't have to worry about too many wrinkles tomorrow.     

"Why are you dressing so...girly? I mean you're a girl obviously but I figured you would go with something a little more...black" he chuckles, thinking about my usual choice in attire. 

"Jungkook would send me back upstairs to change before he would take me somewhere dressed in all black clothing. He wants me to remember to dress like a lady so I might as well go into it right off the bat so I can avoid another scolding. Plus I figured a skirt would be a lot easier to take off and put back on again since I'll be trying on a few dresses" I say while finally getting myself ready for bed.

"Fair enough. If I were you though I would tell him that the only way I'm taking these clothes off is if you take them off of me if he had a problem with your outfit" he teases, making me roll my eyes at him, amused but embarrassed by his nonsense. "Jesse he's my teacher" I point out for the millionth time, hoping to get him to back off but I know it's pointless. 

"As much as you would like me to jump his bones I need to remember the purpose of our relationship. I don't want to cause James any trouble with messing around with him. I could just see the headlines, 'CEO's step daughter sleeps with her etiquette teacher', I do not  want to have to deal with the backlash from my mother either. If something were to happen between us it could ruin his reputation, making people think that he sleeps with all of his students. Plus who knows, he could've slept with his past students based off of how forward he has been with me" I say while throwing myself onto my bed and staring up at the ceiling. 

"He may be an adonis but I don't think he's the type of guy that would do that. Like he's an etiquette teacher girl, if he was to have had a scandal with a student in the past I'm sure it would've come out by now" he reasons with me and I hum in acknowledgement. 

"I guess you're right" I mumble and soon wrap up our call so I can get some 'Proper beauty sleep' according to Jesse but for the life of me I can't sleep a wink. With all of these questions spinning round and round in my head I just can't seem to ease my mind until I'm jolted awake by my alarm. 

'I guess I was able to sleep a bit' I think to myself before jumping into the shower and rushing to get ready. This'll be the first time Jungkook has seen me bright and early in the morning and not run down after a long day at school so I guess it's best if I make a good impression. 

After putting on my lip gloss to complete the look I'm met with my mother barging into my room. "You do know that Mr. Jeon is going to be here soon and oh-!" she nags quickly spewing out her speech before finally taking a look at me. 

"Look at you! I guess you really are my daughter!" she says while walking over to my mirror to stand behind me. "What's that supposed to mean?" I say crossing my arms and giving her an unamused look through the reflection. 

"It means that you look very beautiful and you're showing off your femininity and assets very well" she says referring to the shorter skirt that she hasn't ever seen me wear before. "Very funny mom now can you please leave so I can finish getting ready?" I ask, shooing her away so I can get her out of my hair, literally since she had started running her fingers through it from the back. 

"Okay okay I'm going. Would you like me to let you know when he's pulling up outside?" she asks and I nod my head and at that she's off to no doubt stand and wait for the first glimpse of him by the door. 'She's more obsessed with that man than Jesse is' I mumble to myself and quickly slip on my boots and take another look at myself before I hear my mother yelling for me to come downstairs.

I open my bedroom door and hear that Jungkook is already somehow inside the house and speaking to my mother when I had anticipated for him to just wait for me by his car. "Oh good you're here! Hurry along I heard you have a very long day ahead of you so behave yourself and do exactly as he says" she lists off and I don't bother giving her an answer. 

"Don't worry Mrs. Hart, I know she's a good girl" Jungkook shamelessly responds for me. My eyes bug out and I watch the amused look spread across his face but it's gone in a flash when my mother turns her attention back to him. "Shouldn't we get going? I know how much you hate being late and I'm sure she's waiting for us already" I say in regards to the modiste that we have an appointment with. 

"Oh yes, I'm sorry I'm holding you up. Have a good day both of you and I'll see you later tonight" she says with a smile while opening the door for us. "Oh I don't think it'll take that lo-" "I won't keep her out too late" Jungkook jumps in and I shut my mouth at his response, knowing I really have no say in the matter but also losing my wording when he places his hand on my waist to guide me over to the car. 

Walking over towards it I realize that he's switched from a four seater car to a two seater and I can't help but wonder if his motives were to not give me any other choice but to sit next to him. "I didn't realize you had another car" I say while he opens the door for me and I sit down and almost squeak at the feeling of the seats sinking down a lot lower than expected and he smirks at my reaction. 

"I have a few but I tend to take this one out every once in a while since it does best on longer trips" he informs before shutting the door for me. I nod my head while he walks around the car and gets in a lot more gracefully than I had which makes me roll my eyes and turn my face away from him. 

"Here" he says handing me an iced coffee "Oh thank you but I don't drink coffee, it makes me anxious" I say politely rejecting. "I know, Matthew told me so I got you a chai latte since to his knowledge, tends to be your favorite" he says. I thank him and receive it with both hands, my cheeks showing a dusting of pink at the thought that again he bothered to make sure he got me something that I would like. He even got me an iced one since I like those better even when it's cold outside. 

I take a couple of sips as he pulls out of the driveway and onto the street before taking notice that I had forgotten something. "Mr. Jeon I'm sorry but do you think we could turn back around? I forgot to grab my coat" I admit, cringing at the thought of inconveniencing him and messing up the schedule for today. 

"It's alright, you can just borrow mine" he says with a slight smile, no hint of irritation or condescension. "But I don't want you to be cold I-" "Y/n it's fine, I don't mind. If anything we can get you another coat once we go looking for the shoes to match your dress" he says and relaxes into his seat. 

His left hand on the wheel with his right placed on his lap where I notice that he's spreading his legs a bit further than I've seen him do before, making me gulp at the sight and turn my face away from him. 

"Is that alright with you?" he questions, making me look back over at him. "What?" I ask, not sure if I had lost track of the conversation or not. "Do you feel comfortable borrowing my jacket or should we turn back around?" he questions glancing over at me. 

"Only if you're sure" I say, wanting to give him the option to change his mind. "If I wasn't sure I wouldn't have offered. I'm asking if you're alright with it" he says and I reply simply saying yes but that's not good enough for him.

"Yes what y/n? I thought we had agreed upon using our words" he taunts and my breath hitches at the fist sign of his flirtatious attitude for the day. "Yes Mr. Jeon, I would feel comfortable borrowing your jacket" I say but he presses further. "I thought we had agreed on being more informal with each other as well" he teases and I look over at  him with a confused face as to why it would make a difference for him.

"Say my name" he says darkly causing a fluttering sensation to bloom in my stomach. "I-, what?" I stutter, not expecting this sort of behavior from him this early in the morning. 

"Say. My. Name. Or would you rather us go back to addressing each other formally?" he questions while he stops at a red light and cocks his brow at me. "Yes Jungkook, thank you for letting me borrow your jacket" I say quietly after a pause, my brain not being awake enough to come up with any smart remarks.

He smiles at that and focuses back on the road and offers me the aux to play some music since the drive is so far. "Try not to fall asleep on me again like last time. Wouldn't want to have to clean the drool off your face again" he teases while holding the chord up for me and making our hands touch since he doesn't seem to want to let go right away. 

I bring my hand down to plug my phone in and he lets his follow mine, keeping them connected for a second, letting his warm hand rest on my thigh before bringing it back towards himself and placing it back on his lap. I clear my throat to get my bearings again and quickly plug it in and play some low fi music which gets him to glance over at me again. 

"What? You don't like it?" I question feeling insecure about my choice since I don't really know what his taste in music is. Unless it's just the ballroom music that we've been dancing to for weeks now but I highly doubt that. 

"No, I do. I'm just sure that a playlist like this one would be the exact thing that would put you to sleep" he says with a crooked smile. "Well I just wasn't sure what you would like and so I figured low fi would be a safe choice" I explain and see that he's still smiling.

 "What?" I question and he glances over at me, making me suspicious of him and all of his reactions. "It's just cute that you put thought into choosing something that you thought I might like as well" he says with a lilt in his voice. 

"I just wanted both of us to enjoy the music that's all" I say, crossing my arms over my chest as a defense mechanism to hide the fact that he's made my heart rate pick up with his simple words. "And that's what I found cute about it" he says, rubbing it in since he can clearly see that it's making me shy. 

"You know, you can be quite irritating sometimes right?" I say as a way to defend myself and make him stop teasing me. "Who me? Am I not allowed to compliment a pretty girl for acting cute?" he plays coy and before I'm able to respond he corrects himself. "Excuse me, a beautiful woman from acting kindly towards me" he finishes and I can't seem to come up with any response to it so instead I choose to angle my body away from him and look out the window. 

"You can put on something you like instead. I tend to enjoy all genres of music" he says, reeling in the teasing and giving me a break thankfully. I in spite, choose to go with one of my angsty playlists full of artists like Simple Plan, Blink 182 and Linkin Park, thinking that it would be something he wouldn't enjoy but to my surprise I catch him drumming his thumbs on the steering wheel to the beat. 

As the playlist shuffles through the songs I catch him singing along to the opening of Bring Me to Life by Evanescence and it's then when I turn my body to face him again. "You know this song?" I question, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "You didn't think that you were the only one who had their emo phase did you?" he laughs and again I'm given another reason to see him in another light. 

As the song progresses we end up doing the call and response of it, with him settling on the guy's part and myself on the girl's and somehow it all just clicks. It's as if we were just two friends on a roadtrip together and it feels, nice? Right? I don't know but it's as if we'd known each other for our whole lives.

There's a comfortable silence once the song comes to a close and we both glance at each other a few moments later and laugh it off. "You weren't kidding when you said you had an emo phase" I tease and he laughs in response. 

"We promised to be honest with each other have we not?" he chuckles after calming down a bit with me, wiping away the few tears that had fallen in the midst of my laughter. "You're right, we have" I respond and again we settle into a comfortable silence before he asks me a question to keep me talking. 

"Penny for your thoughts?" he questions, glancing over at me before turning his attention back towards the road. "I mean there's not much to tell" I say, not having anything in particular stick out to me but he unsurprisingly presses nonetheless.

"There must be something going on in that pretty little head of yours" he teases I take in a sharp breath, his compliments always catching me off guard. "Why do you always compliment me and tease me like that?" I say quickly without giving my brain a second to stop me. "Tease you like what?" he asks with a huge smile, not expecting me to just come out and say it. 

"Why do you do that Jungkook?" I ask, using his first name to show him I'm serious about this question. "Do you not like it when I compliment you?" he deflects. "Answer the question Jungkook" I reiterate since he doesn't have a care in the world at this point. 

"Because you're beautiful" he admits as if it would have no effect on me. "I-" "What? You expect me to spend this much time with you and not come to notice how beautiful you are?" he asks, looking over at me as we reach a stop light. I sit there without an answer, not knowing whether I should acknowledge his words or just brush them off. 

We had agreed to be less formal with each other but did he think that was a green light to trying to pursue me? I've gotta talk to Jesse about this. 

"Looks like we made it just in time" he states a few minutes later as we pull up to the modiste, seeing that the kind woman that had helped us out before waving at us through the window. 

"You ready?" he asks, scaring me at the sudden concern in his voice. "You're scaring me" I laugh off and watch as he gets out of the car and comes around to open my door for me.

"Let's just say it's going to be a long day" he explains, holding his hand out for me to take and I graciously do. Seeing how low these seats sink down I would probably make a fool out of myself if I were to try and get out on my own. 

Once I stand up I stumble a bit and lose my footing leaving me bracing myself on his chest, my hands pressed firmly against his pectorals but I push off of them once I feel them flex under his incredibly tailored dress shirt and again lose my balance but he pulls me in close by the waist before I can manage to tumble back down into the car. 

"You alright?" he smirks with his hand still firmly against my waist and his hand pressed against the car behind me, placing us in a similar position we had been in just last night. "I'm fine" I say after clearing my throat and placing my hand on top of the one he has on my waist as a way to request for him to let me go. 

"Hey, are we okay?" He asks, tilting his head to meet my downward turned gaze. "Why wouldn't we be?" I question, felling on fire being this close to him. "I just hope I haven't made you feel uncomfortable. I really do think you're beautiful" he says, placing a hand on my cheek and bringing my chin up to face him. 

"Can we talk about this later? She's watching" I ask, nodding toward the dressmaker inside who is clearly enjoying the show. "I don't mind, I just want to make sure that we're okay" he says, deepening his gaze if even possible and I just nod and utter a quick yes before slipping out of his grasp and speed walking to the door. 

He braces both of his hands on the roof on the car I had just been leaning against and lets out a dry chuckle before pushing off and closing the door, catching the last glimpse of me scurrying into the shop. 'Cute' is the only word that comes to mind for him at our whole exchange and my reactions to it all and it would continue to be his reaction throughout the whole day as he watches me try to find the perfect dress. 

~~~~

"Welcome back dearie" she greets me with a knowing smile, not even bothering to pretend she hadn't seen everything that transpired between Jungkook and I. "Good to see you again" I say, meeting her with a shy smile, hoping she won't address the topic, or at least with Jungkook right on my heels. 

"I'm sorry ma'am in all of the excitement from the first time I had been here I never managed to catch your name" I say, scolding myself for forgetting to even ask. "You can call me Genevieve dear. And remember, I said you could lose the formality with me, especially since I would love to have some girl talk with you about Mr. Jeon" she teases with a wink and before I'm able to protest she's already greeting Jungkook right behind me.

"Mr. Jeon how lovely to see you again. I see you've both become better acquainted with each other since the last time you were here" she says, stopping Jungkook in his tracks and leaving me clearing my throat and awkwardly requesting that we get started. 

I glance back at Jungkook and see how the tips of his ears have turned red, not having expected her to come right out with it but it makes me smile nonetheless, seeing once again that I'm not the only one that gets shy in this dynamic we have going. 

~~~~

After trying on dress after dress after dress we can't seem to find the right one. "What about the dress you picked out when we first came here? That one won't work for this event?" I yell to Jungkook from behind the curtain as Genevieve helps me out of what feels like the hundredth dress. 

"It doesn't fit the season nor the occasion. Just try on a few more and if we can't find one we can look through the catalogue and order one and come back for a fitting later on this week" he responds without a care. 

"It'll be a bit of a tight squeeze in terms of time if we were to do it that way though" she warns me as she zips up the next dress and before I can even take ten steps out of the dressing room Jungkook has already disapproved of it.

"You don't like this one?" I question looking down at it, but then after having seen it in a different lighting realize that I hate it too. "You really want to ask me that question again?" he cocks a brow at me. I let out a sigh and my whole demeanor droops as I walk back into the dressing room. 

"Hey" Jungkook says, walking up on me before I'm even able to close the curtain. "Don't scare me like that" I say, placing a hand over my chest as an automatic response. "Why don't we take a break? There's an Indian restaurant down the street from here so we can have lunch and then come back. That sound alright to you?" he asks and chuckles at seeing my face light up at the idea.

"I'll take that as a yes" he says with a smug smile. "Can you help me get out of this? Genevieve had a hard time with the zipper so I think her hands might be getting a little tired of doing this" I ask, turning my back to him and giving a perfectly innocent excuse as to why I'm seeking his help but I can see his amused smile in the small mirror that he doesn't seem to notice that's placed right in front of me.

"Of course Pretty" he smiles and he takes his time dragging the zipper down and his brows shoot up at the realization that I'm not wearing a bra with this dress and once he's finished he runs his finger along my spine, seeing a slight red mark from the constant rub of the zippers of multiple dresses and I see his brows draw together at the realization.

"Let's get you out of here. We can come back another day to continue but I think you've had enough" he says running his finger along the line once more, causing a shiver that I had been trying to hold back to run up my spine but at his concern for the slight marks the dresses had left on my skin he decides to ignore it.

"It's okay, let's go eat and once we're done I'll try on a few more. I feel like the both of us will be able to think a bit straighter on a full stomach. Don't you think?" I ask, turning around to face him with one arm placed over my chest to hold up the dress being the only space between him and my bare skin. 

"If that's what you want" he says, his eyes tracing the slight bit of bare skin he's able to see on my chest and up to my eyes. "I'll just ask her to get a few more dresses ready for us while we're gone" he says and tells me through the curtain minutes later that he'll meet me outside. 

"You're a sly one love" Genevieve says as I come out of the dressing room fully clothed. "What makes you say that?" I question, tilting my head in confusion. "You knew I was coming back in a few seconds but asked him to unzip the dress for you anyway" she says and I widen my eyes, surprised that she has seen that exchange. "Nothing goes on in this shop without me knowing love" she chuckles at my reaction and gives me a little jar of salve. 

"What's this?" I question curiously, turning the jar over in my hands. "Mr. Jeon noticed the red marks the dresses left on your back and got worried so he asked me if I had anything that might with that" she says giving me a quick wink. "Now hurry along love and I'll see you soon" she says ushering me out and watching as I walk up to Jungkook leaning against my side of the car and looking up when he hears me coming. 

"You sure you want to come back today? I can ask her to schedule another day for us to come back" he says, still leaning against the car with his arms now crossed over his chest and observing my form to see any signs of discomfort but the only thing that has me nervous are his wandering eyes.

"I'm fine Jungkook I promise" I say while looking down and pulling on the sleeve on my sweater in an effort to warm up my hands a bit and shield them from the cold. He hooks his finger under my chin and brings my eyes up to him and studies my features before making the decision that I'm still up for the task. 

"Okay" he agrees, caressing my face for a second before using that same hand and places it on my waist and turns to open the car door and helps me in again. He places his coat over my lap, noticing that I'm shivering. I murmur a quick thank you before he closes the door, going around the car to get to the driver's side, waving at Genevieve before getting in the car as well. 

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[dixonsstinkysock]

"Je t'aime de tout mon cœur."

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader, Daryl Dixon x Daughter, (slight Carol x Reader???)

Era: Daryl Dixon: The Book of Carol

Pronouns: She/Her

Warnings: Swearing, Violence, Descriptions of the Dead… THIS TAKES PLACE IN EPISODE 1 OF THE BOOK OF CAROL, IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IT AND WANT NO SPOILERS, DO NOT READ.

Word Count: 3,441

Chapter Summary: Carol, Reader, and Remy start their search for someone who’s been gone far too long.

A/N: This is (sorta) my first x reader fic. I’m super excited and nervous at the same time, I’ve worked very hard on this chapter so I hope it’s readable. Also this entire fic was inspired by @villifix !! They are so creative and are basically the reason I’m writing this 😭😭. Sooo Thank you so much for inspiring me! (and letting me use your character concept muah) I don’t know alot about guns or cars so bear with me here. One more thing, I feel like Carol is very protective over the reader and Remy in this, which is mostly biased because I think she’s hot and I want her to protect me…okay goodbye.

Click–clack..click–clack..click– 

“Ow! Damn– ...Sorry.” You adjust the rearview mirror to glance at the 17 year old in the backseat– who should be asleep– instead messing with that stupid butterfly knife.

“What happened? I thought you were sleeping.” You mentioned, slightly annoying at the fact she’s still trying to perfect her knife tricks, over getting some rest. Carol looks back at the hazel-eyed girl, checking if the wound is bad enough to pull-over. “You’ll be okay Rem, it’s just a small knick. Be more careful–Please. We wanna bring you back home in one piece.” 

“Right..I’ll be more careful.” Remy agreed, her voice small and soft, as if she’s a little..embarrassed. “Uhm..Mom, could we stop for a minute?” she asks with a slight country accent–an accent she got from being raised by a certain redneck archer. “I kinda have to pee..” 

“Sure Angel Face, it can’t hurt us to take a short break.” You smile at her through the rearview and turn to pull onto a dirt patch on the side of the road.

Remy walks a little out into the brush–knife in its sheath–hidden a little under her purple zebra striped dress. You and Carol are leaned up against your car, a white, 2010 Toyota Matrix. “Have you noticed anything off about Remy recently?” You question, turning to face Carol. “It’s like she’s…I don’t know–Distracted?” Carol responds immediately, already having an idea of what the problem was.

“Well..We’ve been looking for Daryl non-stop and we’ve had no luck so far. Not so much as even a clue. She’s worried, I don’t blame her..I am too.”

Remy stands, fixing her dark brown-striped leggings. It’s quiet, the only sounds are the leaves rustling, a squirrel scurrying home with dinner. It’s almost peaceful–if you forget the dead are roaming around. Unfortunately, the smell is too pungent to miss, their throaty growl, the agonizingly slow footsteps or the sound of their decaying body separating as they drag themselves against the ground. Remy knows the feeling, knows the sound, the smell–it’s like being watched..being hunted. 

It isn’t hard finding the lone walker, Remy gets closer to “put it out of its misery” as she says. She knows that the dead aren’t people anymore but she still prefers to give them the respect they deserve– for them to finally rest in peace…sometimes pieces.

Carol notices her first, itching to get back on the road and continue their search for their beloved hunter. You all pile back into the car, preparing for the long journey ahead. You look back at Remington–your daughter–she’s grown so much, so fast.

“You okay Rem? No bites?”

“Yeah, No bites.”

Turrrr..turrrr..turrrrrr

“You hear that?’

“Yeah..There!” 

Carol frantically points to where the familiar noise is coming from– a motorcycle– specifically Daryl’s motorcycle but…No Daryl. 

“Mom, is that–” 

“Yes it is, buckle up please.” Of course, Remy is already buckled.. She doesn’t feel safe riding in a vehicle without a seatbelt– especially with her mother driving. You whip the car around, now following behind the bike– matching its speed, determined to find out where this random man got Daryl’s bike from.

Carol rolls the window down, leaning out of it to aim her handgun at him. Only wanting to do enough damage to where he stops– and is still able to be questioned after the crash.

BANG! SCREEEEEK! 

Fortunately, the man is almost perfectly intact..besides the bullet wound in his shoulder. Also– lucky for him– You’re able to bring the car to a halt just before running him over. Carol gets out of the car, slowly, the stranger obviously isn’t going anywhere. She walks to the trunk, and pulls out her Weatherby PA-08, already loaded.

Approaching the injured man, aiming her shotgun–

“Where’d you get the bike?” Her voice is flat, but confident.

“W-Wait! Don’t shoot..please..” The man’s voice was shaky and unclear, almost on the verge of tears as he held his wounded shoulder.

“Where did you get the bike?”

You’re still in the car, not bothering to get out, knowing Carol can handle this herself. That crash was loud enough to draw a good amount of walkers– you hope to get out of here before then. Remy’s in the backseat twirling the ends of her short braids, a nervous tic she’s had since she grew hair.

Carol checks the man for any weapons, she finds a small hunting knife and a handgun similar to her own. No bullets. You decide to get out of the car now, wondering what’s taking so damn long.

“He know anything?”

“Yeah a little..Let’s tie him up. Leave him in one of those trunks over there.”

Walking back towards the car, Carol picks up Daryl’s bike, turning it in the direction you all were heading in the first place and walks it to the driver window.

“Follow me, there’s a junkyard a couple miles from here. That’s where he said he got the bike.”

“Alright, right behind you.” Remy climbs in the front seat, her mood lightened, knowing that we are one more step closer to finding the man who raised her.

You stop the car a few miles from– what you assume– is the place you need to be. Carol pulls up beside you as you roll your window down.

“I’m gonna ride up on that hill right there– Take a look at the place. Stay here until I come back.”

Around 5 minutes go by, when you see Carol riding the old death machine back towards you. “So?”

��I only saw a few people, but there might be more inside. Let’s walk straight in there– show that we’re friendly.”

“Sounds like a plan.” You start the car up, putting on your best poker face. “I’ll let you do the talking, people seem to trust you more.” You say, teasing Carol at the fact she’s so good at manipulating people..a little more than she should be. She gets the job done so maybe you shouldn’t complain too much.

“Ha-Ha Fine. I’ll do all the work, again.”

“Oh–Whatever” 

You both laugh, and start heading towards the Camp. Carol gets off the bike, while you and Remy get out of the car, staying a few steps behind Carol and ready to move if need be. Her hands are up, and her steps are slow– an “I’m Friendly, Don’t Shoot” gesture. Clearing her throat she starts–

“Ahem…Hello..” The 3 men startle, spinning around and stopping what they’re doing to find out where the new voice is coming from. You notice a familiar crossbow in the hands of an unfamiliar man. He sets the bow down on one of the cars hood and picks up a new tire– walking away from the weapon. It felt like seconds..Carol attacking them after the man walked away. Before you knew it Carol had Daryl’s crossbow back, one of his arrows in someone's foot, and new information.

You decided to leave your old car back there, running low on gas and starting to overheat. You’d gotten lucky to make it that far. Carol decided to take the Mercedes Benz SLS one of the guys had just finished working on, the same guy who had Daryl’s bow.

“Sucks, we had to leave his bike back there…” Remy murmured, her voice back to being soft and small, her lower lip slightly jutted out. She’s always had a problem with letting thing’s go– worthless or not, everything means something to her. 

The Boatyard was a waste of time. A couple beached, useless, boats aren’t going to help you in your search for Daryl, especially in getting to Europe somehow. You can tell Carol is getting more and more frustrated by the minute. Everytime you think you’re finally getting somewhere– it’s another dead end.

Getting back on the road with no destination– again– had tensions rising.

Carol was quiet, Remy was jotting down everything we had learned in her old tattered notebook. She’d been writing more, sometimes drawing, You’ve gotten a few peeks here and there when she falls asleep re-reading everything. 

“-ey..Helloo? Earth to Y/N.” 

“Yeah? Sorry..lost in thought… Did you need something?” You noticed the pair of square sunglasses Carol found in the car, they look good on her.

“Just wanted to see if they had anything good in that glove box, the silence is making me itchy” Opening the glove box, you find a couple audio cassettes inside, different rock bands, pop, etc. You grabbed a random tape and handed it to Carol, still looking at all the other ones. Some lady with a high pitched voice starts singing. Obviously Carol is not into it and throws it out the window.

Another tape. An up-beat instrumental, again not a fan.

A third tape. You should’ve been carefully reading the names on the cassettes before giving them to her, but honestly, finding the right song wasn’t important right now. It’s a meditation audio, she hates it. Almost breaks the radio trying to get it out. With no luck, she decides to try and follow the instructions coming from the tape..taking a deep breath in..and then–screaming in frustration.

Kinda awkward but you understand, Remy decides to lay down in the back seat, trusting Carol enough to take her seatbelt off for the first time while the vehicle is still in motion. Carol hears a strange whirring noise, like a plane or a helicopter. She looks through the windshield up at the sky, searching for the object making that noise, not paying attention to the road. You look up right before it happens.

“Carol, Watch out!”  SCREEEEEK!

She swerves off the road, after hitting the walker in your way– crashing into a tall Drive-IN sign.

“AHH! What the hell?!” Remy yelps in confusion, now squished in the floor behind the front seats. “Holy shit..Remy?! Are you okay?” You whip around to check your kid for any injuries– she’s fine– might be a bit sore later but thankfully nothing serious. 

“Fuck..I’m sorry. Are you two okay?” 

“Yeah, we’re good, are you?..”

“Carol, you’re bleeding.” You reach your hand up towards her forehead, there’s a 3-inch gash going from her hairline to right above her right eyebrow. It’s bleeding but not enough to be anything critical; you hope.

“I’ll be fine..Might have a major headache but I’m sure it’s nothing serious..” She takes another look in the sky searching for the plane again.

“What the hell happened? Why weren’t you watching the road?” You’re a little upset at the fact she put your kid in serious danger.

“I- I saw a plane or.. something above us. If we find it..” Carol looks at you as if she doesn’t need to explain anymore. She doesn’t, it’s like you two are connected telepathically, you get it. Remy’s up and in her seat looking at you two, a lost expression on her face.

“Y’know, It would be nice if you guys would finish your sentences once in a while, then maybe I’d be up to speed.” Carol gets out of the car to assess the damage done, while you turn to explain what you two were thinking. 

“I think the radiator is fucked. We’re gonna be on foot from here.” You and Remy get out of the car, gathering all of your belongings.

“The plane went that way.” Carol points where she last saw the plane heading.

“Okay..Rem, you got your stuff?”

“Yeah..I’m ready.” She confirms after putting her bag strap over her head.

That noise is back..which means the plane is close. All three of you look up in hopes of seeing it. “There..that’s the direction we need to go.” Carol points at the plane again before it disappears behind the tall trees.

“Alright, we should hurry before it gets too dark. I don’t wanna be out here on unfamiliar grounds with the dead walking.”

You couldn’t make it before dark but it was better than nothing. After a few hours of walking, you three come across a tall metal fence– not knowing if it was electric you ask Remy to keep back a little. Carol moves forward to scope the place out, once she knows it’s relatively safe she gives you two the signal to follow her.

There’s a large trap on the right side of the metal gate, the gate looks stable..and powered, a good thing that whoever lives here has power, a bad thing at the thought of what they had to do to keep this place secure. Carol motions for you to get under the large trap, stepping over the previous attempting the same. Remy’s the smallest out of all of you; no one would expect her to be able to lift something that heavy. 

“Okay, Rem get over here and pretend to get us out. Me and your Mom are gonna try and get this guy's attention.”

“Just follow what he says and we’ll be okay.” You reach your hand out through the gaps of the bars to caress her cheek.

“Yeah.. I got it.” She slightly smiles at you, reassuring you she’ll be fine.

“You ready?” 

“Always.” You put your arm back into the bars and position it to look lodged under the rusted metal prongs, Carol does the same.

“HELP!..SOMEBODY HELP!” You two shout loud enough to attract the man.

He comes up from behind the cliff, pointing a light–and gun– at you three. “Quiet! You’re gonna draw them..”  Carol explains what happened to our car, striking a deal with the man, spewing a bunch of bullshit like “Relying on the kindness of strangers”. 

“Is it just you three?” Carol nods. “You swear?” 

“Please..We won’t cause you any problems, I promise.” Remy being here made it a little easier for his guard to be let down; Him realizing she’s just a teenager.

“I’ll get you all fixed up..then you leave.” He opens the gate with some kind of remote. “One false move and I’ll shoot you.”

You and Remy are standing in the open barn waiting for Carol to finish cleaning up. Ash, the man who is helping you three, is standing right outside, gun in hand– waiting to shoot if need be. The power goes out unexpectedly, Carol stops what she’s doing and slowly looks over to Ash. 

“What’s that?” He looks a little impatient and sighs. “Problems with my generator..happens from time to time.” 

He walks away to go and fix the problem, trusting you three a tiny bit more, enough to leave you unguarded. Carol follows him out, still dabbing her forehead with the damp towel. Ash flips some switch on the generator and the power comes back on– a temporary fix.

“Have you ever hit a walker with your car?” Carol questions, trying to get him to open up a little. “No..” He gives a short response, obviously not wanting to engage in small talk with a stranger he just met, creeping around his walls.

“Hm.. You're lucky, I think I smashed the radiator”  He shoulders his gun, not thinking of you all to be too big of a threat.

 “You can spend the night here if you want..”

“Really?” Remy gives him a hopeful smile, excited to be sleeping within walls again. 

“Yeah. C'mon you three can stay out here in the barn” He leads You, Carol, and Remy out to a quaint, small barn, a little ways from what you assume is his house. Remy walks in first checking the place out, she thinks it's kinda ugly, considering her face is slightly scrunched. You go to walk in after her but realize Carol isn’t following you two. It’s like she’s frozen in time, somewhat shaking, as she starts to tear up.

Ash walks towards her slowly, gently grabbing her arm before you can, snapping her out of whatever trance she was in.

“Hey..You okay?” She looks at you with a dazed expression, blinking away her tears and pulling herself together. “Fine...C’mon let’s get inside.” Ash shuts the barn door behind him, turning the main lights on. You see Remy standing in front of– what you assume– is the plane you all saw earlier. Carol walks up behind her, rubbing her shoulder.

“Alright, you can sleep in there” Ash states, turning on the lights of your room for the night.

“You fly that thing?” He looks at the plane, longingly, as if he misses it.

“The noise attracts the dead but it's worth it, just to get up above everything for a while everyday” Remy looks at him with a genuine smile on her face. “It’s pretty cool, I’ve always wanted to fly in a plane.” He gently smiles back at her.

“Alright.. There you go”. He gestures towards the room, clearly wanting to get this awkward moment over with. You, Carol, and Remy make your way into the small room, getting as comfortable as you can. There's a few heavy blankets in the room as well so, at least you’ll be warm for the night.

“Thank you..for everything.” You turn to give him a lighthearted smile, keeping up this facade. Ash shuts and locks the door behind him, finally you and Carol have a moment to come up with another plan. You need to get him on your side somehow, he knows how to operate a plane, he's useful.

Remy is already dead-asleep, she’s always been a heavy sleeper. Something that will get you killed if you’re not careful but she knows she’s safe, especially with you and Carol.

“So..What are you thinking?” You and Carol sit down on the floor next to Remy, speaking in your normal tones, knowing she wouldn’t wake up if a tornado came through.

“I’m not entirely sure..We need to find out more about him. Somehow we need to stay longer, do some digging.”

“Alright..we can think about it more tomorrow, I don’t know about you but those blankets look really good right now.” Carol smirks at you, but not without looking at the make-shift bed herself. It does look very comfy.

“Goodnight Y/N.” She moves to get under the blankets, and get in her signature sleep postion, you do the same.

“Night Carol..” 

You can’t sleep, your mind is racing at the thought that Ash can help you find Daryl, and what you could do to get him on board with flying to Europe. You can’t stop thinking about all the negatives and everything that could go wrong while doing this, the plane won’t make it without a couple stops along the way–who knows what you’ll run into during them–, you could hit a bad storm and die in that death trap, you’d be putting your daughter at even more risk; flying into the unknown.

Is it worth it?.. Of course it is, it’s Daryl. You’ve made it this far you can’t give up now. You could never give up on Daryl, he’s done too much for you..for Remy. He’s family, you’d do anything for family–that’s what you thought when he first started going back outside the walls, looking for Rick after 10 years. Honestly It’d be a miracle if Rick was still alive but you didn’t have the heart to tell him that. Why would he not come back if he was still living, he knows where Alexandria is..Hilltop...

It feels like a long shot but if that’s what Daryl had to do to sleep at night, who were you to tell him no? You two made a deal, He would search for a little, but no more than a couple weeks at a time. That way he could still have a little peace in his life knowing that he’s trying but also spending time with his family, watching his kids grow.

The first fight you and Daryl had about the entire situation was stupid, the only reason it happened was because you were frustrated that you barely saw him anymore, that Remy barely saw him anymore. Daryl was frustrated because he felt like you didn’t want him looking anymore, that he should just give up, pretend like Rick never existed and move on with his life.

 You made up barely an hour later, both realizing you shouldn’t be arguing at a time like this. Tensions were high and it was a spur-of-the-moment argument. Your brain is getting foggy now, thinking of memories with Daryl made your mind calm. You’re falling asleep, now less anxious than you were when you first laid down, eager to wake up tomorrow and continue your search.

Hope you enjoyed! Like I said I spent alot of time on this so super excited!! Chapter 2 coming soon!! 💚💚

(also if you would like to see Remy’s design I had in mind dm me!!!)

Translations:

"Je t'aime de tout mon cœur." -- I love you with all my heart.

[boredandwiredkitty]

I've been debating weather to post this all in one go or by chapter. But due to how much I want to write I'm probably going to post by chapter. I may eventually post this on AO3 when it's completed so we'll see.

TFP WHEELJACK X IDOL!READER

So far there is no adult content but that doesn't mean it won't be in future chapters. I'll do my best to label those in the future.

Reader is AFAB

I do apologize this chapter is rather short.

Pushing past the exit you walked out the back door of the entertainment center. Getting away from the loud sounds and bright lights. To have your moment of peace in the chaos.

You leaned up against the railing that led down the stairs to the loading dock. Where the equipment crew were unloading lights and all other electronics and costumes for the concert.

Pulling your hat further down in an attempt to shield your face from view. You brought your little vape to your lips and took a long drag. It seeming to be the only thing that helped to calm your nerves.

You hated these moments. You always had the most anxiety before stepping out on stage. Thousands if not millions of eyes on you all at once. All expecting perfection.

You exhaled slowly. Your eyes roaming over the various stage hands and workers muddling about. They were mostly finished and started to filter back inside to finish setting up.

You knew you should probably head back in yourself to start getting prepped but you valued this time to yourself. Where you could relax just a bit before flipping the performer switch. You decided to take one more hit of your vape before getting ready when a truck backed out. Revealing a car you've never seen before. Did it belong to one of the crew? You doubted it considering how unique it looked. Must be hella expensive.

You weren't one to go ogle strangers vehicles but you somehow found yourself down the steps and hovering only a couple feet away.

Well since you were already here why not have a look? What's the harm?

Remembering what you were taught you kept your hands behind your back as you walked around the car. Leaning in closer to get a better look at different things.

"I've never seen something like this before." You breathed out in curiosity.

You tried to glance inside to see if the owner was watching you ogling their ride. That would've been embarrassing.

The tint was too dark to determine so you hoped you didn't just creep someone out. "Sorry for stairing." You mumbled out before backing away. Wanting one last look before you went back inside.

Just as you moved to head back up the stairs you heard the sound of a car door opening. And to your absolute dismay saw a rather handsome man step out.

"I'm so sorry for stairing." You spoke quickly fumbling over your words.

His blue eyes seemed to sparkle. "Don't worry about it. I'm sorta used to it."

"Still though." You rambled awkwardly. Taken aback by the handsome guy standing in front of you.

God did his voice have to ooze sex appeal?!

"So," you began trying to not make it more awkward than it seemed. "What are you doing back here? Are you part of the crew?"

He looked at you quizzically before he followed your line of sight to the trucks backed up towards the building.

"Nah I'm not with them." He spoke.

"Then how did you get in here? It's restricted access. Only the crew and performers are allowed back here."

"I dont know. I was trying to avoid someone and I kinda just ended up back here."

You stared at him scrutinizing. "Yeah sure that's what everyone says." It wouldn't be the first time fans have tried to sneak in through the back way.

He put his hands up in defense. "Hey I'm serious."

In a moment of idiotic bravery you lifted the brim of your hat and pulled of your sunglasses. "Then do you know who I am?" Your heart started to race.

He tilted his head and squinted. The long stare a sign he was trying to think. "Do I need to?"

Your heart nearly burst out of your chest. He didn't recognize you? Was it because you weren't wearing your stage outfit and makeup? Or was he really that clueless? You were one of the singers in a fast rising to stardom idol group. You even did solo tours. Did he really not know who you were?

Your jaw must've been on the floor by the way he staired at you weirdly.

"Sorry I don't recognize you."

You came up to him excitedly and clasped his hands not thinking. "No! No! This is great! Finally someone I can be myself in front of! Oh man I didn't think this would make me this stoked!" You had no idea how nice it was to not be recognized.

"You're welcome I guess?" He chuckled while looking a bit uncomfortable.

"Ah! Sorry sorry!" You exclaimed as you quickly dropped his hands and took a step back. Where were your manners. "Oh I never got your name!" You exclaimed. You stuck out your hand "I'm (name)."

He hesitated for a moment before clasping your outstretched hand. "Call me jack."

"Jack" You reiterated with a warm grin. You took this time to get a good look at him. He didn't appear over 35. But has traces of salt and pepper in his tousled dark hair. It was hard to tell if it was black or brown. But his eyes. Were a gorgeous shade of bright blue. He had a 5 o'clock shadow that seemed to work so well on him. And you could see scars that scattered around his arms and face.

He was just your type. Dark and handsome with a mysterious air about him. A hint of danger.

"I've been meaning to ask." He snapped you out of your thoughts. Pointing to your pocket. "What was that you had earlier?"

"Oh you mean my vape?" You asked while pulling out the little device and held it out to him.

He picked it up carefully to inspect it closer. "Interesting. Looks kinda like something I had back home." He mentioned as he handed it back to you.

"Oh you vape too?" You wouldn't be surprised if he did.

"Not quite but very close." He mused in thought as he watched you slip it back into your pocket.

"You from around here?" You queried hopeful. You really wanted to see him again. There was just something about him.

"Nah I just travel alot." He shrugged casually in response. It wasn't a lie.

You bit your lip. You knew you were being crazy. All of this is crazy. "Well I'll be in Cincinnati next week for my next performance. Maybe I'd see you there too? I could tell the security to let in the white car with the Italian livery." You didn't want this to end. You wanted to ask more questions.

He opened his mouth to speak when you heard the door open behind you and saw your manager poke their head out. "Five minutes." They warned while showing their palm to emphasize the time.

Shit how long were you out there. You didn't have much time left.

Your eyes must've been pleading because he shuffled in discomfort as you looked at him before he let out a sigh with a wry smile. "I guess it wouldn't hurt."

You did a little hop in excitement. "Yes!" You whispered your cheer. The action reminding him of another girl he knew. Maybe the two of you could get along.

You then stuck your hand out again. "I look forwards to seeing you again jack."

"Same here." He spoke as he took yours in his.

[violetsiren90]

All I Haven't Said | Namjoon/Reader

💜 Chapter 3: Part 2 💜

Table of Contents: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 (part 1), Chapter 3 (part 2)

Pairing: idol!Namjoon/f!Reader

Genre: Soulmate AU; idol AU; chapter fic; strangers to lovers; a bit of idiots to lovers, tbh; slow burn; eventual romance; eventual smut; angst (life is messy & hearts are complex); OT7 featured

Summary: You found your soulmate - or rather, he found you. Turns out he's an idol of much acclaim who needs you for very real and unglamorous reasons. What could become of two hearts so used to giving of themselves when they are confronted with needing each other?

Chapter Word Count: ~7k

Chapter Warnings: This fic is 18+, as is all my work and my page as a whole; depictions of cancer and its treatment; secondhand embarrassment; awkward situations; soulmate skinship; loss of consciousness; dudes dude-broing a bit lol; mentions of minor character death (in past); cursing; chemo therapy and its symptoms; nausea and vomiting; characters eat meals; Reader is starting to grapple with some difficult feelings; Hybe kinda sorta depicted as being collective assholes in responding to this situation (gonna be a theme, guys)

Author's Note: Here comes part two! I know this is months coming (again), but I've finally found my stride with writing and work. I had this mostly done, and then redid some parts and finished editing, and well...I just hope you all enjoy it! My hope is to post part three in two weeks - I really want to get into a groove with plot progression here!

There is a lot of content in this chapter about medical procedures and treatment. I tried my best to represent these as accurately as possible with what information I could acquire, but if there are any misrepresentations, great or small, please don't hesitate to let me know!

Thank you again to all who have stuck with this story! I continue to be blown away by how much love you have all showered upon it, and I'm so excited to walk the path I intend for these two and have you all along for the ride!!

P.S. If you want to join the tag list, drop me a comment or an ask!

P.P.S. If no one has told you yet today, you're loved and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️💜

"Out of sheer taciturnity the ceiling listens To the fall of ancient leafless rain, To feathers, to whatever the night imprisoned." ~Pablo Neruda

Chapter 3: My Windows Ache

Namjoon's labs had come back with even more promising numbers. A radiology scan had shown no shrinkage in his tumors, but the doctors commented that these were early days, and that the effects of the bond might even be keeping them from inflaming due to the chemo. You had watched him, smiling as the doctor reviewed the result, and couldn't help but feel a sense of pride. Your soulmate was on the road to recovery. 

     Nurse Cha quickly checked both of you over before initiating another skinship session.

     "I saw you out on the grounds earlier, and for the first time in weeks," she said, shooting Namjoon an approving grin. "Keep that up. He needs sunlight and fresh air," she remarked to you, flustering you even as you nodded in agreement.

     Why was she telling you that? Were you his keeper?

     Actually, you supposed, in fact, you were.

     You peeked back up at him and found him regarding you with a small, amused smile, which disconcerted you further. You shook your head, shooting him an eye-roll as you made your way into the bathroom to disrobe.

     After your first few experiences with skinship, you had asked Matt to acquire you some sporty, conservative sports bra and boy-short sets, and you slipped into one, pulling a hospital gown over it. After the way your conversation with Hyung-seo had unfolded you were glad to have them - the practical underwear felt far less intimate and flirty than your typical bras and panties, giving you much more peace of mind. 

     As you left the bathroom and made your way back to Namjoon's half of the suite, you noticed him sitting on top of the covers, long legs stretched out in front of him, in nothing but a black tee and blue boxers. He had a drip attached to a tube that ran under his shirt. When Nurse Cha glanced up from her touchscreen tablet to see you approaching, she waved her hand for you to come around to the other side of the bed, which had been adjusted to accommodate Namjoon's upright position.

     "We’re going to try this sitting up today," she explained as she typed. "He's on a chemo drip right now, and the doctor wants to see if the bond will help ease the nausea and some of the other side effects. I heard you just had a nice lunch, so it would be wonderful if Namjoon could hang onto his."

     She shot him a rueful smirk and he let out a chuckle. You smiled in turn and nodded as you slipped off your hospital gown and draped it over the end of the bed. You glanced up at Namjoon who had cast his eyes down at his hands, folded in his lap. The huge apparatus was lower than usual, so you slipped rather easily into it and against Namjoon's side. He raised an arm to drape over your shoulders and you settled against him, pressing your bare leg against his. It was comical how much shorter yours were, but you could only think of that for a fraction of a second as every other thought in your mind melted at the feeling of the man beside you.

     Butter. Warm, melted butter. It was as if every single muscle group in your body had suddenly released every bit of tension it had been holding. So many sensations at once, but this was the one you felt like leaning into at the moment. You felt like collapsing against him.

He sighed deeply through his nose. Yeah, you felt that on a spiritual level. Mmh. 

     Your melty, bond-induced reverie was broken, however, by a dissatisfied noise from Nurse Cha as she stepped toward the bed. You looked up to find her expression matched her tone. 

     "You're not really getting much contact," she said, scanning her eyes over everywhere you touched...and didn't. 

     You raised your arms slightly and a bit uselessly. You felt Namjoon lean forward.

     "Should I...like..." you looked to her for direction, but she was already in motion. 

     She grabbed your arm, guiding you off the bed and motioned for Namjoon to scoot back to the middle. She said something to Namjoon in Korean and suddenly he was tugging his shirt over his head. You felt your cheeks getting hot. Social norms had not prepared you for this amount of casual nudity. You stood there, eyes glued to Nurse Cha, hugging your arms over your middle and hoping that Namjoon was playing his usual blessed game of "look anywhere but soulmate". The nurse took your arm again and guided you back toward your previous perch.

     "Sit between his legs and lean back against his chest," she instructed, nudging you to join him.

You looked up at Namjoon. His face looked like you felt. And then it was just too much. You were standing in a hospital in South Korea in your underwear being asked to sit in a practically naked celebrity's lap so that he wouldn't die.

     You busted out laughing.

     Nurse Cha jumped, surprise clear in her features as she regarded you. 

     "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" You gasped, bending over to support yourself against the bed as you continued to chuckle, "This is just..."

     You snorted. Mortified but still attempting to swallow your giggles you clapped a hand over your mouth and looked up at Namjoon whose dimples were out and whose shoulders were shaking with his own silent amusement. Nurse Cha's lips curved up a bit to one side, but her narrowed eyes spoke of far less hilarity felt.

     "Here's the thing," you said, turning to the nurse while still biting back your laughter, "Namjoon is spoken for, and...well...I have a pretty nice ass."

     The nurse's eyes widened.

     You were probably being really impolite. That would have been borderline in the States. You weren't sure about here, but you felt like that might have broken some unspoken rules. Or, maybe spoken ones because there were a lot of formalities, you were learning. But you had reached your limit with all this. The awkwardness levels were at maximum, and you were gonna cope the only way you knew how - with humor.

     When you hazarded a look at your soulmate, he had drawn his knees up, grabbing them with his hands, his head dropped between them and his shoulders shaking as he badly repressed laughter of his own. You could see those dimples again. They were even deeper than before.

     "We need to get maximum skin-to-skin contact during these sessions," Nurse Cha insisted indignantly, clearly a bit flustered. 

     "I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you offered her a contrite smile as you rocked back on your feet. 

     "Ah!" Namjoon drew your attention as he pointed behind you. "Throw me that pillow?" 

     You grabbed the little green cushion from the corner of the couch and tossed it to him. He lowered his legs and placed it over his lap.

     "How's that?" he asked with a closed-lip smirk.

     You gave him a thumbs up and clambered back onto the bed to situate yourself between his legs. You looked back over at Nurse Cha. 

     "Better?" 

     She raised a brow as she handed you a blanket. You thanked her quietly and cleared your throat as you fanned it out over your legs and Namjoon's, tucking it up to your waist. The nurse checked Namjoon's vitals and said that she would return in an hour to take him off the drip.

     You sank back tentatively against your soulmate's chest, careful to avoid the little port below his sternum. There it was again. Butter.

     Somewhere above and behind you, Namjoon chuckled. You smiled knowingly.

     "What?" you asked indignantly.

     "Did you see her face when you said that?"

     You shrugged against him.

     "Hey, it's true!" you insisted.

     "Sorry if this is uncomfortable for you," he murmured.

     You could hear that he was still smiling, but he sounded serious all the same. You let your head fall back.

     "Honestly, I felt bad for you," you huffed in another laugh before sobering. "And, thank you," you turned, casting your eyes up over your shoulder, "For always being so respectful. It's made this a lot easier."

     "Oh," Namjoon responded softly, "Of course." 

     You looked at his arms resting at his sides and thought of what Nurse Cha had said. You slowly picked up his hands in yours, raising them slightly.

     "May I put them around me? For more contact," you asked.

     You asked it boldly, but you felt shy. You wanted the chemo to work. You wanted it to stop hurting him while it did. When Namjoon let out a low hum of assent you drew his forearms around your waist and laid your own over them.

     Your eyes slipped shut. So euphoric but it always made you feel like sleeping. You weren't going to give into the urge, though, not just yet. There were conversations to be had.

     "Tell me about Hyung-seo," you prompted softly, shifting against him to get comfortable. 

     He was quiet for a moment.

     "Well," he responded slowly, "what do you want to know?"

     "How did you meet her?"

     He went quiet again. Then he sighed a small sigh. You wondered what that little breath carried.

     "She debuted in 2019. A buddy of mine - Seo Jungkwon, he goes by Tiger JK in the industry -  had signed her to his agency. Bangtan was just taking off, things were blowing up. I actually collaborated with him which is when I met her."

     He silenced for a moment.

     "We had a lot in common - how we approached life and music."

     "Had?" you asked, gently.

     He heaved another sigh. 

     "The last few years have been really tough on her. I mean, she hasn't had an easy life to begin with, but..."

     He paused, as if deciding whether or not to utter the words he wanted to say next.

     "Anyway," he redirected himself, and you wondered what thought he had dismissed, "Preparing for a tour is grueling, and this is her first one. I think the stress is really getting her."

     You hummed in acknowledgement. You recognized it in his voice - you should after all, as the same sound had echoed so often in your own - the hollow clemency of lying to yourself on someone else's behalf. 

     "Well," you offered, "She's lucky to have you supporting her, especially when you're going through such a difficult time yourself."

     Namjoon scoffed.

     "I mean, yeah, I'm sick, but...I don't know. In a lot of ways my life has been a lot easier these days. A lot simpler."

     "Really? In what way?"

     He huffed out a wry laugh.

     "I have so much time to just do whatever. Read, write...I've been learning a couple of languages. I get to do v-lives with ARMY pretty regularly, as the company allows - Jungkook went kind of crazy with it before enlistment so we have to go through them for access now."

     You had no idea what a v-live was, but from what little you had seen of Jungkook, you could imagine it took very little for him to get up to a significant amount of shenanigans. You smirked.

     "Did you have so little time for those things before?" you queried.

     "No! No way. It was like running non-stop for ten years. During my time in the military, I got a bit of a break and a change, but then I got sick and had to be discharged early, so...well, I didn't even get to experience that like I should have."

     You felt your hands tighten in response around his forearms. His life hadn't been cake-walk either, that was clear. You wondered if he knew that, if he acknowledged it.

     "Well, I'm glad you have more time for those things. You should keep as much time for them as you can, even when you're better."

     He paused for a moment before whispering agreement into your hair. You felt it even though he didn't say it, the caveat - if he got better. He would. You'd never make him a promise you couldn't guarantee, but you could make one to yourself. So you did.

     For the rest of the session you talked about Bangtan, and the recent history of the group's situation.

     You learned about conscription and that it applied to idols as well. You learned the members had decided to enlist pretty much around the same time so that they could reunite to tour again after being discharged. Namjoon had been released ahead of schedule when he had fallen ill, and at this point most of the members had followed, save Yoongi who was set to be discharged the following week. He fondly reported that they were all anxious to meet you, and that Jungkook and Jimin hadn't stopped pestering him with all manner of questions in your regard since their visit the previous day.

     Every time you had heard him speak about his members, the deep brotherly affection that permeated his words was incredibly evident. 

You asked him to tell you about each one, and he did.

     You blinked your eyes open as you felt Namjoon shift you in his arms. You slowly pulled yourself forward, struggling to focus.

     "I...I'm sorry," you murmured, "I fell asleep on you again." 

     Namjoon chuckled and assured you it was quite alright. As you wearily slipped off the mattress to stand, you suddenly felt the room tilt and your knees buckle. Namjoon's reflexes were quick enough to catch you in his arms. He stood to pull you up and hold you against him.

     "You okay?" he asked in concern.

     "I...I got dizzy..."

     You attempted to put your weight into your legs, but failed, sagging weakly against his broad frame.

     Nurse Cha was already in motion.

     "Help her to the bed," she ordered, striding across the room. 

     Namjoon wasted no time in scooping you up in a bridal carry to follow her. You gasped despite yourself, the sudden movement and his strength equally surprising. But every thought was fleeting as you found yourself struggling to maintain a grip on consciousness.

     You felt Namjoon lay you gently on the bed as cold, sticky monitors were pressed to your skin; heard him ask the nurse what was the matter, his voice tinged with anxiety. 

You heard him say your name.

     And then you heard nothing.

     You groaned as you came to. Your throat felt like the Sahara and your head was pounding. Pushing yourself to sit up, you became aware of the sound of voices on the other side of the curtain. Carefully drawing your legs to the edge of the bed, you clutched your IV stand as you struggled to your feet.

     Pulling back the hanging divider, you were surprised to see Matt occupying the little couch, a cup of coffee on the low table in front of him. Namjoon sat in the opposing chair, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees in rapt attention as the older man spoke. It was dark out.

     "Matt," you croaked, shuffling forward.

     Namjoon's head whipped around at the sound of your voice and he sprang up, just a moment faster than his guest, striding over to take you by the arm. You faltered just a moment in your steps as his hand cradled your elbow and you felt it - his touch and what it did to you. You wanted to curl into him. You wanted him to hold you.

You gently tugged your arm away.

     "You're awake - let me call the nurse," he said, almost to himself as he moved to press the red call button. 

     You sank down beside Matt.

     "What time is it?" you asked in a husky murmur. Your friend checked his watch.

     "1:33am."

     You frowned, blinking blearily.

     "What the heck are you doing here at the hour?"

     "Well!" Matt laughed before taking a sip of his coffee, "It's nice to see you too."

     "You know what I mean..." you grumbled, rubbing your eyes.

     "He called me," he said, gesturing with his raised mug toward Namjoon, who had returned to the armchair. "Said you'd had a fainting spell."

     Your eyes followed his motion to your soulmate, who was already scanning his over you, brow furrowed and full lips pursed pensively.

     "How are you feeling?" Namjoon asked.

     You huffed out a mirthless chuckle.

     "Like I got hit by a freight train."

     The worry lines on his brow deepened.

     "Hey, look..." you held up a hand to wave it weakly between both men as they regarded you in apparent concern. "I'm probably just adjusting to the bond or something. Cancer isn't contagious, you know," you ribbed, shooting a tiny smirk at Namjoon who attempted to return the expression though the smile didn't reach his eyes.

     The night shift nurse and an aid entered the room to assess you. Namjoon asked to speak with a doctor, and was told that Dr. Na would be checking in first thing in the morning. The nurse had very little else to report other than that your blood work had been sent to the lab and that they would be able to determine more once your results were available. He informed Matt that some charts would likely be available in twenty-four hours, but that your CMP could take up to three days. The aid urged you to try to get some more rest. Before departing, the nurse removed your spent sodium chloride drip and said that a meal would be sent up which you were advised to eat if possible, but to be sure to report any signs of food-rejection should they appear.

     Namjoon stood and sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he gazed at your little portion of the suit.

     "They want you to rest, but how the hell are you supposed to sleep with me over here snoring? It's keeping you up, right?"

     You smirked.

     "Well, most of my rest over the last couple of days has been due to a lack of consciousness, but I do have to admit that you woke me up a couple of times last night."

    Namjoon groaned discomfitedly.

     "It really isn't a big deal!" you reassured him, "I'm a pretty sound sleeper."

     "And still I woke you up."

     "Don't worry about it..."

     "It's not just that, though," he insisted, hands in the pockets of his sweats and head cocked to one side as he continued to consider the small space across from his. "You don't even have a window. If you want privacy, you have to sit behind that curtain in the tiny bed -- I hate it. I've hated it since they were first preparing for you to arrive. I'll make some calls tomorrow. You need your own room," he stated decidedly, returning to the chair across from you.

He fished his phone out of his pocket and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he fired off a message.

     Namjoon did have a point, it was a pretty meager space you currently occupied. But they must have had a reason, you thought, for wanting you to share a room with him. And you didn't want to cause any kind of fuss in the name of personal convenience that might detract from his treatment or recovery. 

     "Namjoon, it's fine..."

     He looked up at you, his brown eyes assured and determined.

     "Just let me handle it. I've got you."

     A sudden warmth spread through your chest like the rising sun on the frost of your anxieties, his gaze melting away the familiar worry of burdensomeness. You looked away shyly.

     "Good man," Matt said to him with a nod, and they shared a look as your soulmate nodded in return that seemed to be one of mutual masculine respect. You wanted to roll your eyes a little bit. You also felt pretty damn grateful.

     Matt stood to leave, pressing a kiss on your temple and promised that he'd return in the morning. He paused to shake Namjoon's hand.

     "If there are any further developments, don't hesitate to call me," he said, to which the younger man nodded in agreement.

     "Or I can call you!" you rasped after him as he raised his hand in one last gesture of farewell while shutting the door.

     You huffed.

     "Smart guy," Namjoon remarked, sitting back down in his chair. "You know he's read Toegye exhaustively?"

     You raised a brow at him, your lips quirking with a wry grin.

     "Two peas in a pod. He's probably going to be coming around here nonstop until he leaves just so you two can gab in genius."

     Namjoon smiled and touched his fingers absently to his jaw, his eyes trained on the linoleum.

     "Are you bothered that I called him?" he asked abruptly, glancing up at you.

     "What? No, of course not," you reassured him with a shake of your head. "I just..." You rolled your eyes and smirked. "I'm not used to sitting around while boys decide what's best for me."

     "Aaahhh," Namjoon responded with a nod, interlacing his fingers, "Well, you've been looking out for me since you walked through that door back there, and honestly, I could get used to that..." he leaned forward a bit, "But only if I get to return the favor. You said we don't owe each other, but that doesn't mean you get to be the only one doing the giving."

     You stared at him. The only one to do the giving. The words jarred something loose inside you. You swallowed the strange feeling that threatened to well into your throat.

     Before you could respond, an aid entered with your meal. A tray loaded with dakjuk, rice, and several banchan was placed before you. It smelled fantastic, and you actually felt you could eat. You moved to take the tray to your side of the suite but Namjoon stopped you.

"Hey, wait. I'm hungry. I'll eat with you."

He crossed to the other side of the room to pick up the telephone.

"Go ahead," he said with nod of his head a little grin, "Don't wait on me."

     He didn't have to twist your arm. The chicken porridge was steaming and savory, warming you up within just a few bites. A similar tray soon arrived for Namjoon, and you found it did feel far nicer to eat with someone than alone.

     Between bites he asked you about Matt.

     "He's my dad's best friend. When he died - my dad - Matt and his wife Rebecca helped to take care of us for a while. They've been really good to my family."

     Namjoon's face sombered.

     "I'm sorry about your father."

     You smiled softly at him.

     "It was a long time ago, when I was ten. He was a firefighter."

     He nodded quietly, giving you the opening to continue. You decided to take it.

     "A fire broke out at a high-security prison. The situation got really bad with a lot of people still inside - prisoners. They told the team to stop attempting rescues, that it wasn't worth it, for people like that. But my dad kept going. Alone. He saved seventeen more lives before...well, he couldn't make it out."

     When you looked up at Namjoon again his eyes were locked on you, his chopsticks resting idly in his hand.

     "Wow," he murmured after a pause. "And you were ten years old? That must have been so hard."

     You dragged your spoon through your dakjuk.

     "It was. But managing things after he was gone...that was harder, I think."

     Namjoon's brow knit in question but he didn't press you further. For the second time that night, you were grateful. Death was easy to explain, other things were much more difficult.

     You finished the rest of your meal chatting about Matt, Neo-Confucianism, and unequivocal humanism between mouthfuls of rice and porridge.

      The next day, you were moved into your new suite a few doors down. Namjoon had received no resistance from the hospital in procuring you the space, as apparently Hybe's representatives had been the ones to originate the request that you be at the idol's immediate disposal.

     Your room mirrored the setup of your soulmate's, being on the same floor but across the hall, and Kang Dae had dropped in with a catalog stating that you could select whatever you wished to make the space more comfortable. You had circled a few things and he had departed to procure them. Matt had brought the bulk of your luggage, which meant a good portion of books, your art supplies, and finally more clothes which you would blessedly now have no worries of mixing up with Namjoon's. You changed into jeans and a comfy Nirvana graphic tee.

     You were busy unpacking when a knock came at your door. You called for the person to come in while you continued to stack books onto a small set of shelves. The doctor had cautioned you and Namjoon against further skinship sessions until your blood work had come back, so you were anxious for the results, not wanting him to go through another bout of chemo without the aid of the bond. 

When you glanced up expectantly, however, you found your curiosity would have to wait - at least, concerning your charts - as in the entry stood none other than Kim Hyung-seo.

     She lingered in the entryway at the mouth of the space, her arms wrapped around her middle. She looked much more casual today in a pair of big baggy camouflage cargo pants, a tight black crop top, and chunky white sneakers. Her hair was pulled up into a bun, and she had black mask pulled under her chin. She was bare-faced, save for two small red dots under her right eye.

     You stood from your crouched position, trying your best to keep the surprise from your face.

     "Hi," you greeted her with a small smile, which she returned remorsefully, still hugging herself as she glanced around the room. "Would you like to sit down?" you offered, motioning to the furniture beside you. 

     She nodded, crossing over to take a seat in the little arm chair. You moved to sit across from her. Your first instinct was to offer her something to drink, only to realize you were in a hospital room with no way to deliver, at which you both laughed awkwardly. After a moment of tense silence, she looked up at you, gnawing her bottom lip.

     “I owe you an apology," she sighed. 

You gave her an encouraging smile.

     "Fuck..." she dropped her head in her hands, and you waited for her to collect herself. Finally, she raises her eyes to yours, interlacing her fingers with their long white nails in her lap. 

     "What I did...what I said yesterday...I was cunt. I'm sorry." 

     You let out a little laugh at her choice of words.

     "Well, I do accept your apology...but, don't be too hard on yourself. It was a really bizarre and unprecedented situation for all of us. I'm glad we're moving forward, and in a better direction."

You smiled again at her reassuringly.

     She nodded, her lips pursed and quivering slightly. You could tell she was blinking back tears.

     "Me and Joon...we'd only been engaged for a few weeks before we found out...you know, that he had a match. That it could be his only option to live - bonding. With you. It's just all really fucking scary."

     You nodded sympathetically. She released another sigh as she continued.

     "He had to decide so fast, they pushed him to just make this huge life commitment as fast as they fucking could and now..." She raised her arms, looking around the room in resign, "Here we are. And we have to figure everything out, and I'm about to leave and..."

     "I'm sorry," you murmured sympathetically.

She looked down into her lap, worry still twisting her features.

You wondered why she was leaving, now of all times - when things were the way they were. But that wasn't for you to judge.

"You know," you offered hopefully, "At least he's on the mend. At least you know he'll have someone to look after him."

     She hummed. You wondered if it was an agreement as her eyes flitted over your face searchingly. Anxiety from the previous day's encounter began to seep into your chest as you considered if you had chosen your words poorly. You had said what would have comforted you in under the same circumstances. But maybe you were different - too different.

You softened your heart, determined to reserve judgement. Life had given Hyung-seo had her own shoes, and you would do everything you could to understand what it was like to walk in them.

     "Can I add you on KakaoTalk?" you asked, realizing you were still clutching a book, and setting it onto the low table to pull your phone from your pocket.

     She was chewing on her lip again when you looked up. She stared down at the hardback. 

     "You read a lot, huh?" she asked, though it didn't sound like a question.

     "I do," you answered slowly, wondering where her train of thought was headed.

"All that stuff you said yesterday, you seem, like really in tune with people. And smart. You guys are, like, the same."

She pressed the words out in a strained voice. She looked so small and so sad. Your heart sank for her.

"Namjoon actually said that very thing about you yesterday."

She glanced up at you in surprise and confusion. You smiled.

"He said that when you met he was struck with how much you shared in how you saw the world, and how you approached music."

She regarded you silently as you continued.

"And that's your life right, your great love? Music? What a wonderful thing, to base your life with a partner in a love you share."

She nodded slowly, her eyes watering.

"Thank you," she finally whispered, and you nodded in understanding.

You reached out to take her hand and she squeezed yours. After a few moments of silence, she rose and wiped her eyes.

     "I'm leaving tomorrow and I want to see Joon again before I go," she explained. 

     You nodded.

     "Thank you for coming to talk to me and for sharing about how this has been for you. I really appreciate it."    

     She smiled - perhaps genuinely for the first time since you met. It was a lovely smile.

     You sighed as she left. It wasn't much, but it was progress. Maybe she would let you in. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard after all.

     When several hours had passed with no updates on your lab results, you decided to take a walk down the hall to see how your soulmate was faring. You knocked on his door, but received no answer. 

     "Namjoon!" you called softly with another rap of your knuckles, but were still met with silence.

     Just when you were about to turn and go, the door creaked inward on its hinges, slipping open to reveal your soulmate's tired face.

     "I just came to see how you were doing...are you okay?." 

     You followed him as he slumped back into the suite, but before he could even reach his bed he turned and pushed past you to hurry into the bathroom. It caught you a little off-guard and you stumbled, catching yourself on the opposing wall, but quickly realized the reason for his urgency when sounds of retching followed.

     The bathroom door was cracked open and you could see him hunched over the toilet, breathing heavily as his body wracked with each attempt to expel the contents of his stomach. You hesitated a moment, then pushed the door in slowly, coming to kneel beside him and gingerly place a hand on his back.

     He raised his head, eyes fluttering when you touched him. You gently pulled your palm up and down his spine, feeling the warm surge of the bond even through his shirt. He reached for a piece of toilet paper to wipe his mouth.

     "You don't have to do that..." he murmured, resting his forehead on his arm propped on the porcelain rim.

     "I know," you answered quietly, continuing to slowly rub his back. "Can I put my hand under your shirt?"

     "You're not supposed to be touching me until we know what's going on with you." 

     You slipped your other hand out to curl your fingers around his exposed bicep below the sleeve of his tee. He sighed, shoulders sagging as the comfort and warmth of the contact soothed his aching body.

     "Can I?" you softly persisted, and he nodded his head where it laid against his forearm.

     Slipping your hand beneath the baggy cotton you ran your fingers over his soft, taut skin, heart squeezing at the definition of his spine and the ghosts of his ribs. 

     "Did you do chemo without me?" you asked.

     “I've been doing it before you got here, you know,” he retorted weakly.

     "How are you supposed to gain weight if it makes you this sick? Please don't do it again without me."

     "You passed out, Y/n," he shifted his head to look at you.

     "We'll figure that out," you smiled, "But you need to be as agreeable to these treatments as possible, right?" 

     He nodded.

     "Hyung-seo paid me a visit this morning," you remarked after a moment of silence.

     "She told me."

     "Said she leaves for her tour tomorrow. When does she get back?"

     "February."

     "Of next year?" You paused to temper your shock, "That's a long time."

     "It's a world tour. That's how it goes."

     "Wow."

     You realized for the hundredth time in as many hours that there was so much about their lifestyle to which you were ignorant. You had so much to learn, but one thing you did know: he needed you right now, so you stayed by his side until the sickness had subsided.

     Nurse Cha arrived shortly after to conduct routine checks on Namjoon, and you sat by, thumbing through the latest issue of Batman and Robin which Matt had been kind enough to drop off with your things.

     "Your initial blood work came back with some concerns," she said, turning to you and picking up her tablet to access the results. "There are signs that your body's nutrients are being depleted. Since your fainting spells have been occuring during skinship, we ask that you refrain from touching until your CMP comes back."

     Namjoon glanced over at you, a chiding expression on his features. You flatly ignored him.

     "I need to be able to touch him, especially if he feels ill. He needs to keep down his food, right?"

     Nurse Cha hummed, pursing her lips.

     "Well, I'm going to run this by Dr. Na, but if absolutely necessary, keep it light and brief. And please be sure to document even the smallest instances of skinship so that we can track the effects."

     You agreed readily, and she left to continue her rounds. 

Glancing out the window, you noted that the evening was mild, and the gardens were aflutter with birds and awash in soft late-afternoon light. You thought about what the nurse had said before about the fresh air.

     "Hey," you remarked, still looking out the window, "We should take a walk - it looks so nice out. You up for it?" 

     "Great idea," he replied, joining you to look out across the greenery. "I'm definitely feeling up for it." He huffed out a little chuckle.

     "What?" you asked suspiciously. You were beginning to recognize his different laughs - this particular chuckle was always at your expense.

     "Gonna keep pushing it with the poor nurse, huh?"

     You scoffed.

     "Well, if I hadn't would you be feeling well enough to go out right now?"

     "No."

     When you glanced up you found that he was gazing raptly at you, his face filled with unchecked thanksgiving. Your witty response faltered on your tongue. 

     His touch, you were pretty damn sure that for the rest of his natural life you would never grow used to it...but his eyes? It was almost the same. Was this part of the bond? Or was it just...him? Did everyone feel this way when he held them in those eyes? When he looked at them, really looked...

You couldn't tear your eyes away. You couldn't find words.

     When Namjoon's phone suddenly buzzed you thanked almighty Samsung and sagged against the window pane. 

     "Damn," he muttered. 

     You looked at him questioningly.

     "I have a consultation with my radiation oncologist in ten minutes. Go ahead! I'll meet you down there right after."

     He pulled a sweatshirt over his head and changed his slippers out for his shoes.

     You returned to your room to grab outerwear as well. The evening was temperate enough to go without, but you were feeling chillier than usual. You felt your phone buzz in your pocket.

     Mom flashed across the screen.

     Your chest tightened and you silenced the ringer. You'd call her tomorrow, you told yourself. Besides, she had already spoken to Matt. 

     When you reached the garden, you decided there was someone you should call while you waited. Ambling down a gravel path, you held the phone up to your ear, stuffing your other hand into the pocket of your jean jacket.

     "Matt told mom that you passed out - are you okay?" Diana's voice on the other end registered genuine distress.

     You rolled your eyes and sighed. 

     "I'm fine. My body is just adjusting to the bond and probably jet lag and whatnot."

     "You better fucking be fine or I'm coming out there to make sure you are."

     You laughed. 

     "To South Korea? On a Wednesday?"

     "You know what I mean, god! You're so - hey! How did the fiancee thing go?"

     "I knew you'd want an update."

     "Spill."

     You sighed.

     "Uh-oh," she hummed, "That was your, things-are-an-effing-disaster sigh."

     "It was no- why do you keep trying to divine my air flow like they're casting-runes or something? Will you just let me tell you?"

     "You don't always say."

     You huff in exasperation.

     "Okay, well, I won't tell you what that sigh is," she mumbles in trepidation, "But I will tell you that I know enough to shut up and let you continue. Go on."

     "It didn't go swimmingly."

     "Fuck."

     "Yeah,” You lifted your fingers to absently stroke at the petal of a rose. “She seemed very frightened by the whole situation, which is completely understandable. But then...she also kind of came at me. She started asking pretty intimate stuff about the bond right off the bat. When I tried to redirect by suggesting we get to know each other better she started saying all this stuff she already knew about me. About Dad and Mom."

     "What?!" Diana gasped incredulously.

     "It was almost as if...I don't know, I could have been reading her incorrectly, but it was almost seemed as if she was trying to bring things up that might knock me off my footing. Make me...insecure." 

     You suddenly remembered your conversation with Namjoon the previous night. He hadn’t let on that he had already known your father passed when you were a child...but he had known. Passing out during skinship had gotten in the way of the conversation you had intended to broach with him about knowledge of the other. You had done research before meeting him, but only the basics. You had felt that as much should come from him as possible. Clearly you hadn’t been given that opportunity.

     "That bitch," Diana seethed, pulling your mind back into the moment.

     "Hey, hey, hey," you cautioned her, "She's in a extremely difficult situation. And that was just my biased impression of her intentions. Don't be too quick to judge her, Di."

     Diana hummed discontentedly.

     "Also, she came to apologize to me today before she leaves on tour. We made progress, I think."

     "Apologizing? Bare minimum," Diana said with an air of dismissal. "What did you say her name was?"

     "Kim Hyung-seo. Her stage name is Bibi."

     Diana was silent for a moment. 

     "Found her," she declared. 

     You smiled to yourself - of course she had found her, the woman was famous. It wasn't as if stalking measures were necessary (though you had no doubt of Diana's abilities should that have been the case).

Diana clicked her tongue in disappointment.

     "She's hot."

     "She is very pretty," you agreed.

     "Yeah, but you're hot too. And, y'kow, you're you. Bet you're smarter..."

     "Di," you said, stopping to pinch your brow, "We're not in some kind of competition. We're both just human beings navigating pretty uncharted waters, okay? We both have our strengths and weaknesses. She's going to be part of my life as Namjoon's wife, so not only is building a good relationship with her important to me, I have a responsibility to her as well. We all do. To each other."

     Your sister paused on the other end before relenting sullenly.

     "Yeah, yeah. I guess you're right - you do need to make nice with her...as long as they're married, that is..."

     "DIANA."

     "Okay! Geez!" Diana cleared her throat. "How is the soulmate doing?"

     "He's getting stronger every day," you answered, happily moving the topic away from Hyung-seo.

     "That's great!" she crooned. 

     "It is."

     "Are you smiling? You sound like you're smiling."

     "How are you doing, Di? Classes are starting soon."

     You smirked as your sister's attention surged in a new direction, and for the next half an hour she regaled you with tales of her new housemates, and the smarmy and unseemly Johnnie (who had come crawling back, as predicted, upon returning to the States). 

     Upon hanging up with Diana, you checked the time, and discovered that it had been nearly an hour since you left Namjoon. You were starting to feel weak, and a bit cold - hunger, you told yourself - so you decided to return indoors for dinner.

     You called Namjoon on the way up to the fifth floor to inform him if your change in plans. He apologized profusely, saying that the doctor had been detained, and asked you to join him for dinner.

Letting yourself into his suite, you shrugged your jacket off as you headed for your usual spot on the couch when, suddenly, you froze.

    A man was rising to stand from where he had been seated on the sofa. He was clad in a dark blue button-down with a golden emblem on the shoulder and black slacks. He wore a black cap which bore a similar insignia to the one on his shirt and fit snugly over his short dark hair. He wasn’t as tall as Namjoon, though his shoulders were nearly as wide. His features were soft but arresting, and his deep brown irises, you thought, seemed to hold a bit of everything a pair of eyes could. Your comic book was in his hand.

You crossed the room toward him.

     "Hi, I’m sorry, Namjoon will be here soon - oh, I'm his soulmate, Y/n," you stammered, before catching yourself.

     The young man's sharp eyes widened, his lips parting as you bowed.

     "Je ireum-eun Y/n imnida," you started over in Korean.

     He bowed in return, raising his dark brown eyes to you again as he responded in a soft deep voice.

     "Annyeonghaseyo, je ireum-eun Min Yoongi imnida."

[andradrawsstuff]

Gonna start posting bits of my fanfic here since I’ve been working on it for a bit now ✨

This is a sorta continuation/au of the movie franchise set after the penguins movie, since the TV show is considered an au and it inspired me to think of my own thing

I'm still working on writing most of it but I'll post the chapters separately so that this post doesn't get ridiculously long, and I'll link them here ✨

This is my first proper fanfic, so constructive criticism is welcome :)

-The Rise of Dr Blowhole-

Synopsis

Still travelling around with the circus and bored out of their minds, the four penguins seek out a special element core that can upgrade their train to kill some time. As they steal what they are looking for from an unfortunate victim, they unknowingly kick off what is to become the greatest rivalry they have ever known – against the mad scientist Doctor Blowhole. As they now have to deal with the consequences of their actions, they scramble across the US in a cat-and-mouse game of who catches who first, recruiting a familiar companion along the way and re-evaluating their entire past three years.

A bit of swearing in some chapters

Slight skilene later on, but nothing major

I finally gave my OC Otto a role lol

Uhhhh I think that's it for now, enjoy :)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 1: Pondering life and other matters

The golden sun bathed the green hills of California in a warm bliss. Sunrise. The most beautiful thing one could witness, as well as the sound of birds chirping and-

“I like to move it, move it! I like to move it, move it! Ya like to move it, move it! I like to – MOVE IT!!”

The lush landscape was shunned by a cacophony of lemurs yelling and dancing at dawn, as their train sliced out of the rocky mountains towards the green hills. By that time, the entire circus had been rudely woken up… apart from two feathery friends who were already up and eyeing their locomotive in contemplation.

“But will it work, man?” Boomed their leader, the one and only Skipper.

“Uhhh… well, that all depends on whether I can get my hands on a very special element core, also known as-“

“Don’t know, don’t care.” Skipper interrupted Kowalski. “Just make it work, or I might start kicking people off this train out of boredom.”

The truth is, the penguins already started to find their new circus life a little… dull. In hindsight, it was fun travelling around the world, racking up chaos wherever they set foot. But they also had a big responsibility to maintain and organise the circus they so regrettably purchased, which was… not fun. Alex would practically beg Skipper to take them here, take them there, and take them absolutely everywhere, which Skipper quickly grew tired of. It had been a year since their adventures with Dave and the North Wind. In fact, it’s quite a miracle that the penguins lasted here that long without legging it. So, to kill time, they invented crazy contraptions and pulled increasingly daring schemes to suppress their boredom. This invention was no different than any other.

Skipper sighed and turned to look out the window towards the changing landscape, as ABBA’s SOS played in the background. Kowalski’s choice, no doubt. The vast greenness of the landscape transformed into a deep blue, as they neared the Oakland Bay Bridge of San Fransisco. Skipper had already started to lose himself in a trance, only to be interrupted by a sudden BANG.

“Skipper! Can you see it?” Alex burst through the door, startling the daydreaming bird. “Can you see the bridge? I’ve always wanted to go to San Francisco! And now we’re here!”

“Fish and chips, man! You almost gave me a heart attack!” Barked Skipper. He had a tendency to get jump scared if he wasn’t fully aware of his surroundings.

Alex scans the room in embarrassment as Skipper and Kowalski glared at him, whilst the other two had been rudely awoken by the shouting.

“Huh? A-are we there yet?” stuttered a delirious Private, as Rico simply smacked back down into his pillow.

“No.” Skipper replied coldly. “Do any of you hippies know how to knock? Or contain your excitement?” He continued.

Alex attempted to apologize, but he had already been ushered out by the bird. Perhaps if his daydream hadn’t been interrupted, he may not have been left in such a grumpy state. It also didn’t help that the haunting racket of “I Like To Move It” was looming ever so closer.

“Wake up, boys. We’re almost there.” Sighed Skipper. “And Rico, confiscate Ringtail’s Boombox, I’m starting to get sick of this song.” He sternly added.

Rico grunted sleepily as he made his way down the train cars. Kowalski tinkered with the train controls, and Private stretched his sleepiness away. The light grew dim as they entered the underwater railway tunnel, nearing their destination.

“Get ready, boys… we’re almost there.”

[pro-mammonologist]

Demons Are a Girls Best Friend

A fun vacation to the mountains! The brothers are fascinated by the human world and even more fascinated by the human world’s interpretation of them. After exploring a local church, Asmodeus learns of Mc’s relationship with the church as well as igniting an interesting fantasy of theirs.

Note: inspired by the song Demons Are a Girl’s Best Friend by Powerwolf, if you’re okay with a little bit of metal, you’ll love this and want it in your obey me playlist

This chapter is the start of the NSFW, it’s essentially the planning process, the setup, and the very start of the adventures. There’s mentions of impact play, bondage, and sacrilegious fantasy. I imagine if you’re reading fanfic on tumblr you’re not afraid of a lil kink. And you aren’t afraid of sacrilege if you’re into Obey Me. ALSO, I really try to have MC discuss the role play itself because I think it’s important people have a good idea of how these bdsm scenes work even if it’s not perfect. Sorry if it’s moving slowly to your taste, I wanted to explore Mc’s emotions as well as the brothers. I think the intimacy here will really amp up in preparation for the actual scene itself! Enjoy!

GN!Mc with a coochie x All brothers

@ikevampharem

Part 1

Chapter 2: “they wanna make you bend and scream”

Now faced with all 7 brothers eager to try out your fantasy, you scrambled over what you wanted to happen. And how. And where…

“So are we gonna dress as priests?” Belphie looked toward Mammon hoping he’d suggest stealing some priests garb.

“Don’t look at me! I feel like stealing from a church is a bad idea!” Mammon answered, confused as to why Belphie asked him not you.

“Well,” Asmo now had pen and paper in his hand, “we could use magic!”

“What are you writing for?” Beel questioned peeping around the table you all sat at.

“So we know what we’re gonna do to our lovely Mc!” He clicked the pen and looked to you. “So, it’s a bit of daddy I’ve been naughty sorta situation! Do you wanna confess your sins to us all?” Asmo’s eyes were twinkling.

“Um… confession usually has one priest present so I figured it’d be a different setting.” You sat at the head of the table, fiddling with the fabric of your shirt.

Lucifer sat on the edge of the table, directly to your left, refusing to sit in a chair for some reason. “Hm, to be honest, playing priests sounds fun but what if we were demons pretending to be priests? Im not exactly too sure if we could all maintain a holy facade. Those days are long gone, don’t we all agree?” Lucifer looked around and Satan was the first to agree.

“I never even had any holy days, so I agree. Plus it only adds more fun to the fantasy don’t you think?” Satan pulled the paper from Asmo and grabbed a pen for himself. “Here, I suggest we set everything up for Mc within their limits and we plan the scene ourselves.”

“I trust you guys to come up with something good for me by now.” You nodded, somewhat thankful all the planning wasn’t up to you. “I can list the parameters though.” You were also thankful that you didn’t have to confess exactly what you wanted to them, your embarrassment would be overwhelming.

Levi put his hand down on the table. “Listen, I have an idea!” He scrambled for the paper. “So let’s say Mc is lost and they find us here and we will use magic to make one of the rooms look like a church right… and then while Mc is praying to themselves out loud for forgiveness, we come in and—“ he abruptly stopped when Beel spoke up.

“If we say everything that ruins the fun right? We need to hear what Mc isn’t up for and what they are up for, right?” Beel looked to you, innocent per usual.

Your thoughts were swarming and you struggled to find out what you should say. “I’m thinking—well—I imagine that I’d be punished for all the stuff you have done to me, right?” You had a thought, a dirty one, but you were hoping for someone to read your mind.

“Go on.” Lucifer encouraged you, knowing you’re feeling a bit shy.

Dammit. “Well, then I guess everything we’ve done is on the table. At least what we can access.” You avoided saying exactly what you wanted causing Lucifer to sign through his nose.

“Everything?” Mammon repeated, leaning back. “To be fair, when we all do it with you, you do have the same limits. Just no actual harm. A lil pain here and there, no tickling, no blood, and only tears from pleasure. Amiright?”

“I’m told the same thing.” Lucifer concurred. “Those are your limits correct? Nothing beyond typical bedroom bdsm.”

“Sounds about right!” Asmo cocked his head and pulled the paper back while no one was looking. “So how about we 7 devise a plan and you, our lovely Mc, gets to prepare!”

“Well, for one, those are my limits, and for two, Asmo you can’t decide for me!” You were mildly irritated at him rushing but you did enjoy his enthusiasm. “Basically, I’m down with restraints, a little impact but let’s keep it down to just our physical person. I’m already about to get fucked by all 7 of you I don’t need that much overstimulation. Speaking of which, I’m down for multiple orgasms but overstimulation might not be it for right now especially since I imagine you’re all in the mood to go all out.”

Asmo furiously wrote, trying to keep up with each word. “Is edging on the table?”

You smiled and Levi scoffed. “If Lucifer is involved it’s probably always on the table.”

“I’m not that awful that I always edge them.” Lucifer looked offended by Levi’s comment but you ignored their little comments.

“Yes but… remain in control of yourselves I don’t wish to pass out before I even get to cum once.” You emphasized and Asmo underlined don’t go crazy on the paper. After he looked back to you thought a bit more. “Let’s use the light system too.”

Satan nodded. “We might need a nonverbal as well. And I think it’s better to use the light system for something like this, but if you do yellow, you need to inform us what to stop and what to continue.”

You thought for a moment. “If that’s the case, let’s say if my mouth is full then my hands need to free and vice versa. I’ll snap twice.“ You watched Asmo write again. “If you don’t hear or see the snaps, ima kick. No matter which one of you it is.” You were in-between joking and seriousness.

“Careful, Mammon and Levi might like it.” Belphie cackled.

“Hey! Don’t go lumpin’ me in with Levi! That guy probably likes to be waterboarded!” Mammon retorted making you grin.

“Water boarding? That’s more like Barbatos! I bet that guy will do anything! Plus… water boarding wouldn’t even work on me!” Levi snapped back and he shook his head at Mammon. “Mammon probably has a findom fetish!”

“Excuse me??? Why would I give my money to someone for just a boner!”

“Well you spend all your money on Mc!”

“That’s different! I’m spending it on gifts for them! Not begging for them to take my money!”

Levi and Mammon continued their back and forth until Lucifer pinched both of them. “Hush. You can squabble about your concerning fetishes later.” Lucifer turned the attention back to you. “So, let’s say you’re sucking me off, you wouldn’t want to be bound? Am I understanding you correctly…?”

You blinked twice, trying to see what he’s getting at. “Oh! Um, I guess if I’m snapping then my hands could be bound.”

“Hm, good to know that’s something you’d consider and I wasn’t hinting at me questioning your safety, Mc.” He smirked, a sadistic twinkle in his eyes. “I just wanted to make sure we heard you correctly. The more detail the better, right?”

You fought the heat rising in your body. “Well I don’t even know what you’re hinting at either.”

“Who says that I’m hinting at anything?”

“You just implied that you were hinting at something.”

“Then what do you think I’m hinting at?” Lucifer crossed his arms, still smirking.

“Something nasty for sure, you wouldn’t be making that face otherwise.” You tried to challenge him, pretending as though you aren’t flustered. “Why don’t you tell me what you plan to get out of this?”

Lucifer snorted. “I plan to have fun, relieve some stress. Perhaps tire them out as well.” He motioned to his brothers.

You couldn’t help but grin. “That’ll take some trouble off your plate, huh?”

“HELLLOOOO! We’re here too!!!!” Mammon shouted. “Stop talkin’ bout us right in front of us!” Mammon moved to the front of the table and nestled himself between you and Lucifer. “And don’t go picking favorites when we get down and dirty!”

Lucifer groaned as Mammon moved between you two. “Is your presence necessary?”

You giggled at his comment and looked at all of them sternly. “Also, when it starts, I don’t want any arguing! We can fight afterwards.”

“Hey, my favorite, aftercare. Ya know sometimes it’s more fun than the actual thing itself. But it’s probably gonna be annoying since it’s not just you and me.” Mammon smiled at you and his brothers spoke up in protest.

“Who said it’d be fun with you anyways?” Satan was the first to talk back. “Mc, you don’t have to include him.”

“Hey! No bullying Mammon either.” You gave him the irritated-mom-stare.

“Shame.”

Asmo cleared his throat and pulled everyone back to the scene. “Aftercare indeed. Bath, warm clothes, lotion, cuddles, water, snacks, cakes?” He listed off his suggestions and Beel’s ears perked up at cakes. “Anything in particular??”

You leaned toward him, away from Mammon and Lucifer. “I’m gonna be sweaty as hell probably. I’m gonna need a cold shower. I think a bath might overwhelm me. Water is important. Maybe some tea and yes, we should have dessert after the fucking. I’m assuming we will be eating dinner beforehand. And cuddles are always on the table but uh… we need to wait until I’m done for me to decide who I wanna cuddle.”

“Ooooh! That reminds me, I am hungry! And while we are out for dinner, we can get supplies so we don’t waste our magic!” Asmo stood up and it’s as though everyone suddenly realized their own hunger.

“I am starving.” You stood and Lucifer looped an arm around your waist to pull you into him.

“Mc. I’ll have you know,” he whispered, “this fantasy of yours is something I plan to play out perfectly. Us demons, we love to play, something like this just strikes me so perfectly. You need to realize that you can’t be shy later.” Your back was pressed to his chest and his lips just grazed over your ear.

“I won’t be.” Was all you answered.

——————————————————————————

When you all finished your dinner, you split up into groups to find supplies for your trip and your fantasy. You walked alongside Mammon and Satan searching for things to do while vacationing while Beel, Belphie, and Levi searched for supplies for your night. Lucifer and Asmo returned to your loft to plan the night ahead.

“What made you come along Satan? I figured you’d want to be with Levi’s party.” You asked, sitting next to him while seated on the metro.

“Truth be told, while I’m fine with helping to plan for the trip, I wanted to have you alone so we could talk about what you really wanted to do.” He answered honestly.

Mammon leaned forward. “While they ain’t alone. And why do you get special treatment?”

“I don’t. Even if you’re here Mammon, they’d be more willing to admit their fantasies considering they slept with you first. So… if you’re here, I figured they’d talk to you about it more.”

You nodded. “I guess that makes sense. But to be honest, I’ve already said the most embarrassing part.” You glanced away and focused on Mammon’s hand on your knee.

“I don’t think so.” He disagreed. “You’re clearly biting your tongue.” He uncrossed his legs and leaned forward. “I won’t press you too much if you’re truly feeling too embarrassed but I still want to know more.”

Mammon was oddly silent, his own thoughts swirling. “Ya know, Mc, I bet I got a good guess.”

You swallowed. “Okay…”

“It’s not the getting fucked by priests thing is it? It’s the demons pretending to be priests, amiright? That’s why you suggested it, right Satan?” He kept his eyes on you while your heartbeat moved faster.

“Correct. You see, Mc, I’m trying to get you to admit something in particular. If Mammon has figured it out then I’m sure the rest have the same assumption that I do.”

Mammon stepped on Satan’s foot in retaliation to his comment. “You got a demon kink, dontcha?”

He hit right in the balls. You weren’t escaping this one. “Yeah.” Neither of their expressions changed and you sunk back into the seat. “Is that it?”

“Yup, that’s it.” Satan crossed his legs again and relaxed into his seat following suit. Mammon did the same.

“Damn, all that tension just for a yeah.” Mammon teased, clicking his tongue. “Figured after a while you wouldn’t be scared to admit that ya like demons to the demons you’re fuckin’.”

“Shush.” You elbowed him. “Ima get your ass someday.”

Satan tried to bite back a smile. “I’d be happy to help get him back. I’m sure I have something that didn’t work on Lucifer but would work on him.” Satan shot Mammon a mischievous look.

“Haha funny. Laugh laugh laugh.” Mammon squished your cheeks out of nowhere and you jumped.

“Mams!” You protested.

After you all exited the train, you went into a small bakery to choose your desired items for post-coitus. You eyed the treats. Cupcakes, cakes, cookies, pastries, everything you could want. You saw at the top of the counter a crucifix and your eyes fixated on it, thinking of what you planned to do later.

Mammon started choosing items, asking for the tray of blueberry muffins and asking Satan who is paying for all of this. You suggested getting the cupcakes on the top of the shelf and told Satan to place the order.

“Mc.” Mammon scurried over to you. “We should get that tea over there too.”

You looked to what he was talking about. “Why?”

“Cuz it has a soothing effect. I don’t want you to be in pain afterwards. I know you prolly want a lil but—“

“But what?”

“I can tell that Lucifer, Satan, and Levi are crazy excited for this. I am too, but, you got the two sadists out here foaming at the mouth. And you admitted you got a demon kink.” Mammon reached for the tea and put it in the pile. “I just know Satan is gonna abuse the hell out of that shit… I mean… I would too but, only when we’re alone.”

You knew he was right, you also had a feeling Satan had been waiting for something like this. You realized that’s also what Lucifer wanted you to admit earlier. That you had a kink. For demons. For them.

“Yeah, you’re right. We should find something for me to wear too. I wanna fit the theme of, as Asmo would say, lost little lamb.”

Satan returned to your party, bags of treats in hand. “There’s a small boutique there. I’m sure it has something in there that looks innocent.” His eyes were glassy, something that usually happened when he was enraged or insurmountably horny. “Surprise us. Me and Mammon will search for any… enhancements we can make.”

“Whaddya mean me and you? Leavin’ them alone? Nuh uh.” Mammon tried to go with you but Satan grabbed his arm.

“Asmo and Lucifer are sending the plan to us. We need to make adjustments. Come on, don’t you want this to be perfect.” He convinced Mammon and handed you Lucifer’s card. “We will stay here.”

You nodded and went inside the boutique. You mostly saw tourists clothing but as you moved further back, you found more conservative clothing. You wanted to look sexy but also innocent and it’s a struggle to combine those two things. You knew whatever you wore needed to be white and likely needed to be a dress. Or something that had easy access.

Moving aside you settled on a frilly little white sundress, something that an innocent church girl would wear for sure. It hid everything but there was appeal in the sheerness of the sleeves and how it was practically see through. You went to try it on, admiring how it hung on your body. You also grabbed a pair of white thigh highs, knowing they’d love the touch. The real question was what underwear to wear. You had to move closer to the back where they kept the intimates. Should you even wear a bra or just wear undies? The bra is kinda useless you decided. And, in contrast to the rest of the white outfit, you picked out a pair of cheeky black panties with a small bow at the top, desperately trying to be innocent. It was cute, something to tease them with.

When you went to check out, the clerk eyed you weirdly but you played it off to the best of your ability and joined back up with your boys. “I’m done!”

“Good. They’re almost done setting up, let’s head back.” Satan put his phone in his pocket. Satan and Mammon were both smiling innocently, looking at you with slightly raised brows.

“So? You ready?” Mammon grabbed your free hand.

“Yeah.”

————————————————————————

The group was cooking or preparing a room for the event by the time you got home. Lucifer welcomed you back and immediately ordered you to assist with cooking, for Satan to set the table, and for Mammon to help the others with setting up the room.

You joined with Belphie and Beel in the kitchen and helped with the steaks Beel was so diligently trying not to eat. Belphie was dealing with the side dishes combining vegetables together and wondering why it all looked so weird, to which you looked at him like he was crazy.

“They’re miniature trees.”

“They’re called broccoli.”

“This one looks like a carrot.”

“That is a carrot.”

“Weird…”

“They’re the same in the Devildom!!!!”

Beel was sneaking small pieces of carrot and eating them to his hearts content but he desperately wanted the meat. The sauce part was awful especially since Belphie just didn’t follow directions and Beel drooled too much into the first batch causing Satan to join and let Beel help with the rest of the bunch.

“Seasoning is very important in the human world. Much of the Devildom’s food has more flavor.” You told him. “So you need to put a lot more. And you really need more than just those three. Since Beel didn’t put enough in the marinade, we’re gonna have to hammer in with the sauce.”

“Is that why all the human world food we have in the Devildom sucks?” Belphie asked after almost falling asleep with a knife in his hand.

“Yeah, cuz y’all can’t follow directions clearly.” You ended up doing most of the heavy lifting when it came to cooking, which is unusual considering there isn’t that big of a difference in cooking human food or demon food.

“You’re moving fast, are you excited for tonight?” Lucifer entered and sat at the bar next to the kitchen. “I got some interesting information from Satan earlier.”

Ah, of course he told. “I bet you did.”

“How long until it’s done?” He pondered as you removed the steaks from the pan.

“We are done.” You hurried last Lucifer and called to the brothers trying to avoid his teasing he was bound to unleash upon you should you give him the opportunity. “Come on!!! Get your plates and line up!!!!”

As the other three joined, Asmo wiped sweat from his face and jumped up to you. “Everything is finished and it’s perfect ugh I’m so ready!!!!!!”

You smiled at him softly and he huffed. “What?”

“You can admit it too, you know. No one is going to judge you, Mc.” He cupped your face and pouted.

“I just know y’all are gonna eat me alive if I do admit it, so ima stay quiet.” You responded and pulled his hands down. “Don’t try to pull it out of me.”

“I’m not pulling out don’t worry!” He hopped around to the back of the line and pretended he didn’t imply anything and you served the food.

Dinner was unusually quiet, everyone was eating, likely desperate to wolf down the food and let it settle so they could begin. You were actually pretty nervous now that the time was near, it was mildly uncomfortable and you were the only one taking your time to eat.

“Mc.” Mammon whispered beside you. “What’s wrong? The foods really good.”

You looked down, pushing a carrot around in the sauce. “It’s nothing really.”

“Are ya nervous?” He rubbed your thigh and waited for your answer.

“Yeah. It’s something I’ve always thought about but never thought I’d do.” You answered, knowing they could hear you too but avoiding their presence.

“Don’t worry, if you need us to stop, we can. Does the fantasy bother you?” He reassured you. “We’re demons, not evil.”

“Um… well. No, it’s more or less. A little weird and I’m kinda ashamed of it. I was really surprised when you guys brought it up and you all decided to go along with it.” You heard shifting beside you.

“Mc, it isn’t all that weird at all.” Levi pulled out his phone. “Look, humans are into it everywhere. And ya know us demons tend to have corruption kinks. We like seeing people acknowledge your dark side. That’s how we planned it out actually!”

“We promise it’ll be fun.” Asmo put his fork down. “I wouldn’t want to to be a weird forceful type of situation. And even though we wanted to surprise you, if you want to see the plans and scripts and stuff I think no one would be opposed to showing you.” He ran off to get the papers.

“Yes I agree. I was concerned it might be too much for you, now that you’re having doubts I think it’d be wise to read it.” Lucifer began to gather plates at the table. “If you want us to stop or even not do it, we can return everything and undo the magic. No one will be upset at you.”

You shifted and looked at him. “I don’t want to stop it, but I am nervous. I appreciate you letting me do this.”

Asmo handed you the notes they wrote. “Here, tell me if I need to change anything.”

You grabbed them and looked through them. Each brother had written something or contributed, you could tell. There was a detailed description of the scene and how you wanted it as well as things you enjoyed from previous sessions with the brothers. They even had a list of words to call you and not to call you, as well as some biblical research. They had a timeline as well and open-ended portions that you would likely decide on mid scene. It was also written entirely in glitter pen.

Nothing was off, nothing was harsh, nothing no consensual and nothing dubious, just demons playing pretend. And when Mammon said that it was gonna be making you drop your innocent act, that’s exactly what it was. Everything was you centered, your pleasure. To be honest, it almost made you emotional seeing their attention to detail.

“I’m actually impressed.” You said. “I’m really surprised that you managed to make that whole secretly demon thing not how can I say it…”

“Non-consensual?” Satan spoke aloud. “Yes, I wanted it to be completely in your hands. I even suggested we write a script where we weren’t demons at all. Beel helped really flesh out the reveal part.”

“Beel, really?”

“Yeah.” He said, reaching to point at a certain part. “This is where I started. I can’t do anything that might hurt you whether fake or real. And I just didn’t want to pass any limits or make any of us harm you.” The brothers all agreed and looked to you.

Mammon wiggled your leg. “Soooo, we all on now? You feel better?”

“Yeah I do.”

“Still wanna do it?”

“Yeah, I’m more excited now.”

“Heheh. Good.”

Lucifer nodded. “Just know, you should never worry about communicating this to us. We would never hurt you. At least, not actual harm. Should we ever pass a single limit or even draw near it, I expect you to stop us and I expect you to be honest. Since your our sub tonight your safety is top priority. Even out of the scene, you’re our top priority.”

Man, you could cry. “Thank you.” You uttered out, feeling your throat hitch. “And if you feel uncomfortable I want you guys to stop too.”

“My Mc, you need to be able to first. I don’t want to continue unless you’re fully honest. 100%. Tell me, do you consent to me and my brothers engaging in this scene with you?”

You sat for a moment and nodded.

“I need an answer, not just a nonverbal. I think we all do.”

“Yes. I consent to this scene.” Once the words were out, a weight lifted from your shoulders. Your nervousness practically faded.

“Good. So, let’s clean. And then, we will begin once you’re ready.”

[elacular-kink]

Poly-techhic -4: A Little Lunch and Seltzer AU

So, when I wrote Chapter 4.5, I saw how Olivia teased Susanna and thought "Hey, good idea, character that I write! Let's write that!" So, in this alternate universe version of chapter 4, Susanna is the one who gets the hiccups during their date instead of Kiran. I've also written it twice, once from Kiran's perspective and once from Susanna's. I'll see if I can sorta get both on one post via reblog, but if not I'll double up like I did with the shower story.

The Kiran chapter's first few paragraphs are retreads of part of Chapter 4 to set the scene, so I'll put those in a different color if anyone wants to skip to the new stuff.

Last ramble: This is the last bit of Poly-Techhic I've written so far. That doesn't necessarily mean there won't be more, and it certainly doesn't mean there won't be more hiccup stuff in the future, but my muse is on its contractual lunch break, so I can't say when.

Character Sheet

TW: Anxiety, Painful hiccups, menstruation (mentioned) Kinks: Hiccups, Embarrassment

Susanna and I had just arrived for our date at the French restaurant whose name neither of us could pronounce. The man in the tuxedo looked past me at Susanna as she entered. "We don't wear hoods in this establishment, sir."

"M-ma'am!" I corrected him, blushing.

"It's cool, Kiran," Susanna pulled her hood down and I saw that, rather than laying flat or being mussed like it usually was, her hair looked like it had been styled with gel or spray, a perfect gently punkish messy spikiness to it. As Susanna unzipped her hoodie, I saw that she was wearing a white button-up shirt underneath, the arms cuffed past her elbows in an imitation of short sleeves, and the bottom tucked into her khakis and strapped down with a leather belt. Oh god, she looked so dapper. How was I supposed to cope? "I don't mind what people call me, and I figu—uh..." She'd started tying her hoodie around her waist when the maître d' took it from her and hung it up on a coat rack instead alongside mostly suit jackets. "Uh...yeah. Okay. That works."

The tuxedoed man sniffed and turned. "This way, ma'am and ma'am." He showed us to a small table and placed a set of black leather-bound menus in front of us. "I'll need to see ID if you intend to drink."

"Nah, I'm good. I'll just take water."

"Hmph." He took a note.

The idea of asking for soda in an establishment like this made my stomach ache. I was glad that I had at least managed to eat a little lunch; the idea of that ache making any noise made me feel even more ill. "I-I'll take water as well, please!" The maître d' made a noise I didn't know how to interpret and walked away. Susanna rolled her eyes as he left, and that helped me calm down a little.

For a while, the two of us chatted about the restaurant's (stuffy) atmosphere and its (expensive) appetizers, but it wasn't long before we were interrupted by someone who was, thankfully, not the maître d', and who placed a wine glass of water in front of each of us. "Uh, thanks man," Susanna said. He nodded without saying anything and walked off quickly. "Is this...classy?" She picked up her glass and tilted it around.

"I...suppose? I'll be honest, rules of etiquette were never something I was able to keep track of very well."

"Pff. My god, poor etiquette? You bad girl, you." I could feel myself blushing under her smile. "Well, whether it's classy or not, it'd be weird not to clink these." She held her glass out and I picked up my own and tapped it against hers before I took a sip. I was a bit surprised to realize that it was seltzer, but I supposed that would explain why even the water on the menu had a price.

When I looked back at Susanna, she was swirling the water in her glass and sniffing at it. "Ahh, essence of tap. Hydrogen and...notes of oxygen I presume?"

I stifled a small giggle as she took a sip. "Why yes, with a surprising hint of carbon di—" Before I could finish speaking, Susanna choked and started coughing, putting the glass down as quickly as she could. "—o-oxide? Susanna, are you okay?"

"Yeah—k-kuh, yeah Kiran, I'm fi–*eek!*" A tiny, high-pitched noise forced itself out of her and her eyes went wide. Her face was unbelievably red and she slapped both hands over her mouth. After a split second, she sucked in a breath of air and held it, shutting her eyes tight.

"Susanna?" She opened her eyes and nodded at me, then rocked back silently and shut them again, another tiny noise audible in her throat. She held up one finger and I nodded back, even though she couldn't see me. I couldn't take my eyes off of her though. Every few seconds she kept jolting, and it seemed like they were getting faster and harder. She held her breath for a worryingly long time. I half wished I'd taken out a stopwatch, because it had to be over a minute, probably over two.

Eventually, she let out her breath all in one massive huff, though she kept both hands over her mouth, just barely containing a high-pitched little "*mmp!* S-sorry." Without her bangs or her hoodie on, her cute, flushed face was a little hard to ignore. I kept accidentally meeting her eyes, and they looked almost...scared. "Be right b---back." Without elaborating, she got up and rushed off deeper into the building.

"...okay," I said, long after she had gone. I was barely able to wait five minutes before I felt compelled to pull out my phone. Texting on dates was horribly rude as far as I was aware, but if she wasn't at the table, it seemed like it would be okay? And honestly, I was worried.

Queen of Illusion: YOU BETTER TELL ME HOW THIS SHIT WENT WHEN YOU GET BACK PLEASE TELL ME YOU FUCKIN KISSED HER AND THEN KISS ME (IF YOU WANNA)

Kiran (Kiki): Maya?

Queen of Illusion: WTF are you doing texting me And yeah

Kiran (Kiki): I'm sorry! I didn't know what else to do!

Queen of Illusion: Hold up What stupid shit is Susie doing?

Kiran (Kiki): I don't know! She disappeared deeper into the building!

Queen of Illusion: wait Where the bathrooms are?

Kiran (Kiki): I don't know, maybe?

Queen of Illusion: That mother fucker Gimme 2 seconds ill fix this shit.

Kiran (Kiki): Is she okay? Does she need a pad or a tampon? I carry those.

Queen of Illusion: oh shit thats super helpful tell the whole team that But yea shes fine Just really fuckin stupid I told her to get her ass back to the table or Id throw her switch in a blender And she knows im crazy enough to do it

Maya was still typing, but when I looked up, I saw Susanna coming back over. She looked very small, shoulders pulled in and her head bowed down, and she speed walked over to our table and sat down in her chair with a hyperefficient stiffness. Also stiff was the way she kept jolting backward, her shoulders jumping, her head snapping back, and her whole body rocking. "S---sorry Kiran. *mmk!*"

"It's...fine?" I wasn't sure quite what she was apologizing for. Her face was still unbelievably red. "Are you...are you alright?"

She nodded before her head was abruptly jerked back again. "Got th---the h-hic---cups. Sor---ry."

"...oh!" Oh, that made sense. Susanna must have been sensitive to carbonation like Maya was. Did she not know that about herself? I'd never seen her drink or order soda, so why didn't she say as much when we talked about it?

...actually, considering that Maya was the one who had brought up hiccup triggers, I could see why she would want to keep that to herself right then. 

"Oh, okay. N-nothing you need to be sorry for, Susanna. D-do you want me to try and get you some regular water?" She looked up at me and nodded slightly. "Alright...alright." I looked around for a waiter who didn't look busy. The restaurant wasn't crowded, and the maître d' had left his post to wander among the tables doing...honestly, it wasn't clear to me at all what he was doing besides occasionally staring at us in an intimidating manner. But I couldn't see any other employees who weren't occupied, and Susanna looked so uncomfortable and was jolting so hard. So I steeled myself as best I could, straightened up, rolled my shoulders back, and then walked over to the man in the tuxedo. "Excuse me, sir." He sniffed at me. I wanted to shrivel up and disappear, but I forced my back to stay straight. "My—" Wait, shit, what was I supposed to call her? Fuck fuck fuck—

No! No panicking right now. She needs you.

"My date would like some still water, and I'd prefer to get it sooner rather than later."

He stared at me. I was glad I'd straightened up. It gave me an inch or two on him, and he clearly didn't like that. "...off-menu requests cost extra."

Susanna better not have heard that. "That's fine. And I'll tip for a prompt delivery." He sniffed, then walked back towards the kitchen, and I walked back over to our table and sat back down. As soon as I was in the chair, I slumped again, and I felt Susanna's hand land on mine. I smiled at her, or at least tried to. "I'm alright, Susanna. Hopefully, we'll get you some water soon."

She exhaled softly and nodded. "Th---thanks." There was an audible thump in her chest and she rubbed her sternum, looking pained. Her little body was being so violently rocked...I really did wonder if she was going to hurt herself. And her face still looked so red and feverish.

The not-exactly-silence that fell between us felt horribly awkward. "Well, I...suppose that you'll need some of Olivia's hair now." She stared at me, and at least her looking confused was better than her looking scared and in pain. "F-for your voodoo doll. It stopped working. It's not transferring your hiccups right now." After a moment, she smiled. Susanna smiled and she shook with quiet, soft laughter and it made me feel like I was glowing.

Then she "*HNK!*—nnf!" jerked back harder and shut her eyes tight, rubbing her throat.

"Susanna, are you in pain?" She looked at me and shrunk in on herself before she nodded. "Is holding your hiccups back causing that? Would letting them out help?" She cringed, then motioned for me to come over. I joined her on her side of the table and saw that her spasms were throwing her hard into the uncomfortable-looking back of her chair. I couldn't think of anything else to do, so I put both of my hands on her shoulders and gripped them. With her next hiccup, I just barely managed to keep her from hitting the back of the chair again. God, she was so strong. Her whole body was so unbelievably strong. And she was looking back and up at me. "I—um, sorry, is this okay?" She nodded again, and my heart rate slowed at least a little. "You're being shaken so hard, I just...thought this could help."

She turned away and shook with almost silent laughs again. "S---sweet." Before I could stammer out a request to elaborate on that, she took out her phone and started typing on it, holding it awkwardly high so I could easily read from behind her.

Susie Q(eer): That'd help, yeah, but I don't think the people around here would appreciate it. Especially not tuxedo douche.

"I-I don't care about that!" That came out of me louder than I meant it to, but I ignored my blush, just lowering my voice as best I could. "Certainly not more than I care about your well-being." After a moment, she put a hand on one of mine and gently nuzzled into one of my arms. I may not have trusted my ability to comprehend body language, but I felt safe assuming that whatever this was was very affectionate. My heart clearly felt safe assuming that, considering how it was bursting and melting all at once.

"Erm, your still water, ma'ams." Our waiter came over and placed a glass of water in front of Susanna, who quickly grabbed it and took a large swig. Unfortunately, barely a half-second later, she jerked back into my hands again. "Also," the waiter was cringing. "Um, other patrons have requested that you please take your seat, ma'am."

"I—" I wasn't sure what to do, but before I could worry too much about it, Susanna gently patted my arm and gestured for me to go back to my seat. She jerked back into me again before I could, though. Her hiccups were so strong..."No, I don't believe so." The waiter blinked at me, and Susanna was looking up, shocked. I gently pulled her to her feet, keeping a hand on her back. "This restaurant isn't what I was hoping it would be. I'm sorry, Susanna. Please let me take you somewhere better suited to the two of us."

I walked over to the maître d' and paid with one of my least important credit cards. This place didn't deserve the dignity of giving me gold points. "Don't forget your companion's...jacket."

"Of course. Thank you, sir." I put as much venom in my voice as I could, then took Susanna's hoodie and helped put it on her before wrapping an arm around her shoulders again. There wasn't really a need to do that, but she wasn't complaining. She even leaned further into me once we were outside again.

Despite those actions, I heard Susanna sigh. "I'm s---sorry, Ki–*EEK!*–Nnuuh!" She covered her face with both hands, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"N-no, I'm sorry!" I shook away my giggles as best I could before sighing. "I'm...sorry for laughing, for one. You're just..." I could feel my face warming. "...You're just really cute."

"Mnnf. *HMK!*" She leaned into me more, and my nerves kept pulling giggles out of me.

"But beyond that, I'm...I'm sorry about that restaurant. I wanted to take you somewhere that...that you might not have been to a place like yet. A-and I know that I'm very privileged with how much access to money I have, so that's something that I can provide you if we go on a date together and—"

"'Prov---provide me'?" Susanna squinted up at me. "You–*HOOP!*–Nn!" She covered her face again and I couldn't help it. I just pulled her into my arms and against me. She was so cute. Her back jolted into me, and for once it felt really nice to have such a soft belly for her to hiccup into instead of something hard that could hurt her. She made more tiny noises, then pulled her face out of her sleeve-covered hands. "...*MMK!* You don't ha---have to provide---nnnghf. *MMK* Provide me anyth–*UK!* th-thiiiing. Fuck."

"But I want to." I realized that we had idly walked to a small park block and looked at the nearest bench. It looked uncomfortable, especially the back, and I sat down on it and confirmed that fact. I couldn't let Susanna sit and hiccup back into that. But what other option— "...Susanna? Would you like to..." I uncertainly patted my lap.

The light was too dim to be sure, but I thought her face went even redder. Even so, she nodded. "S---sure, but–*HNK!* d-don't let m---me hurt you."

"I won't." I hoped I'd be able to keep that promise if need be, but more than that, I really really really hoped I wouldn't have to. She slowly, gently eased onto my lap, and I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her back against me. She was so small in my grasp. "...but just to be sa–OOF!" I was shocked by the force one of her spasms pushed back with. "S-safe, you should stop holding your hiccups in." After a long moment and a few rough jolts, she nodded. I could hear and feel her start to breathe more deeply, seeming to have to make an active effort not to try and mute herself. High-pitched *HEEK*s and *HNK*s and *HK-llp*s squeaked out of her, but her motions were far gentler, more bounces than jerks. One of my arms was resting on her stomach while the other had ended up across her thighs (which I really hoped she didn't notice or object to) and it was interesting just how much I felt her move, and how much more fluid even her herky-jerky hiccup motions were now that she wasn't trapping everything inside of her chest. "Yeah. There you go. Good—" My face practically lit on fire as I realized what I was about to say, and I buried it in the back of her hood. But I couldn't not finish my sentence. "Good...good girl."

After a split second, I felt her laughing against me. Her chuckles came tangled up with hiccups, but I didn't mind, and it seemed like, at least to an extent, she didn't either. Once her laughter calmed, she sighed. "S'just emb–*UCK* emb-barrassing. *HNK-lk*."

I sighed back. "I can see why. I'd be mortified." It took me too many seconds to realize what I'd just said. "N-not that I'm saying you should be! Y-you don't need to be embarrassed, Susanna, I just—" I hid my face in the back of her hood again, glad that the hiccups mostly moved her chest and torso rather than snapping her head back. "I just understand why you would be. B-but you don't need to be. It's just the hiccups. And you shouldn't have to hold them back any more than Olivia does."

Susanna made a noise I didn't know how to interpret. "Oliv---via has to h–*OLK*–g-guh. Hold them ba–*UCK* all the time. *HMK!* I'm...*hmp*." She leaned forward and pulled down her hood, resting her head against my chest afterward, and I wondered if she could feel exactly what that was doing to my heart. "I'm lucky, in a way. *HMK-mmp* To be someo–*UK* someone she doesn–*nnt* have to hide ar–*HUP* around." She hummed softly, and I could see her purse her lips. "*hmk* Never really tho–*UCK* thought about it like tha–*hup* that before."

"About what?"

Even under the dim light, I could see how red her cheeks had gone. "Ah...ah–*HUP*–p-puh...It's kind–*AUK* kinda hard to expl–*HUCK* explain."

"I suppose most things would be with a case of the hiccups like that."

Her face...her face was still so flushed. "Yeah. *hmp*. Not having the–*eek-up* these would definitely make it easier. *hmk*. Do you..." She shook in my arms with a few nearly silent hiccups. "...do you thi–*ic*–ink we could stay like thi–*ic-olp*–this until they're gone? *hmk-mmp*. I'll tell you af---after that."

I simultaneously hoped that she stopped hiccuping in the next few seconds and that this case never went away. But either way, I loved getting to have her body against mine, no matter how it was moving. "That sounds good to me. Thank you, Susanna."

"No. *hmk.* Thank you, Kiran," she said. After that, we just sat in the park together while she hiccuped, and I thought that made for a far better date than the restaurant ever could have.

[tearitar]

2024 WRITING REVIEW

tagged by @rolameny tagging @smaller-comfort, and anyone else that wants to.

number of stories posted to ao3: 20 this year! (223 in total… over a 15 year period, it was my ao3 acct’s 15th bday on dec 20!!)

word counted posted for last year: 90k-ish :P

fandoms i wrote for: destiny, team fortress 2, top gun

pairings: andal/cayde-6, spy/sniper (A LOT OF THAT), granby/kennedy 

stories with the most kudos, bookmarks and comment threads: Most kudos and bookmarks were for thrifty, which I think is flattering! It's got a....high private bookmark count, lol. Happy Hour had the most comment threads, and that was a multi-chaptered fic so it makes sense. Happy Hour had some of my favorite thoughtful comments as well, lol.

work i’m most proud of (and why): I've talked enough about ARMSTOPPER so I'm going to say Off the Starboard Bow this time. I liked what past me started all those years ago and so it was really easy for 2024!me to swoop in and finish off the quick pwp part, lol. Rereading it, I love the tone and the banter, how easy it all the characters mesh together. There's not much worldbuilding involved but I like the sense of Laurence just... knowing people outside his usual circle. And that Granby sort of sees that.. oh. Most of the Navy isn't super stuck up, it's just Laurence that is so severe about it, LOL.

There should be more Hornblower and Temeraire crossovers! I think the double Williams and Archie/John Granby angle is SO CUTE and fun to do. The thought of Laurence having more buddies from the Navy (that are Bush and Hornblower) is pretty funny. You think aviators are weird? Buddy, he's been surrounded by weird people since day 1.

work i’m least proud of (and why): nah. I'm gonna riff off pell's answer and say that I'm quite happy to have posted anything at all. I don't think I've had a perfect execution on most of them but that's just something to think on for my next fics.

share or describe a favorite review you received: lol, i save a bunch of comments in my inbox so that I can go back to reread them whenever I'm feeling low about my writing, but there's a comment I specifically treasure--from a minific for the sniperspy collar fic. Like, it was one of the least expected comments since... idk. The ficlet was so short and silly, but the commenter really had an eagle eye and sense for what I was really trying to explore; implied kink discussion/negotiation, disguised as silly banter and jokes.

You know, I hope everyone gets to experience these golden comments where it has everything; the reader's favorite part in quotes, an opinion, a specific read/analysis that nails what was in your head, and then more points where you didn't consciously consider. (That makes you go "DID I WRITE THAT ON PURPOSE?") I think about their comment a lot and kick up my little feetsies every dang time.

a time when writing was really, really hard: on an 18 hour flight where I couldnt adjust the font size on my tablet so I think maybe some people behind me saw me writing fic. my bad.

more seriously, at the beginning of the year I was really struggling with some Top Gun, Bad Batch, and Master of the Air WIPs. My heart wasn't in it and I was forcing myself until April where I just sorta gave up and went into "I will write my Star Wars OCs" and even then I wasn't very happy.

Then! I read a couple of novels to get back into the groove of reading published works and it was refreshing.

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Aside from getting back into tf2 in general, not really? I guess I'll hand it off to just might come crashing. It's very................romantic. As romantic as I like sniperspy without setting myself on fire from sheer embarrassment. My idea of fluff for them is... just this.

a favourite excerpt of your writing: 

“I'll stay if you'll have me,” Sniper says, undressing in the bathroom. He pokes his head out. “Daft fuck. I know what you're doing. You assumed I’d go out by my lonesome for two entire weeks. No people. No civilization. No showers.” “Yes.” Spy raises an eyebrow. “Since you were raised by wolves in a cave.” “Oi, show some respect for my parents,” Sniper says. “I'll have you know me mum’s a very lovely ‘roo. Raised me proper. In a pouch and everything.” “That does certainly explain many things,” Spy replies. Sniper steps out of the bathroom, naked but still sadly unshowered. He strides over to the bed and takes Spy by the chin, his hold firm. “I'm gonna spend the night with you ‘cause I wanna, alright?” Sniper says, leaning over him. His sharp-eyed look is back, the one Spy finds both dangerous and endearing. “You really thought I was gonna fuck off in the woods the whole time?” Spy doesn’t answer that particular question, at least not directly. Still, he feels as if he’s admitting something incriminating when he returns Sniper’s look. “I wouldn't be upset if you did.” The corner of Sniper’s mouth tics upwards. “You miserable shit,” Sniper says fondly. He drops his hand to turn back to the shower.

bruh... this part makes me blush. it's a confession without the explicit confession... I like it a lot. it's mostly dialogue but... there's a lot of teasing affection. being comfortable. i wrote an entire fic just to have context for this scene.

how did you grow as a writer last year: did you know.. did you know if you write 2-3k words consistently every week you can keep this up for 4 months because you kept in practice? wow. new concept alert. no one has ever thought of this i bet.

how do you hope to grow this year: get more deranged. stop being afraid of people younger than 24. they mean well when they say sigma.

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc.): as always.............. spite. im so sorry to be so evil coded, but it's spite. I write when I'm not getting the themes and pwps I want so I write out of spite and anger, especially when I don't have my usual group of friends in the same fandom. This is why I struggled with MotA and Top Gun fics. I was eating so good there wasn't any need to cook for myself. u__u

On a more positive note!!!! I got back into sniperspy because of a fanart I saw for barter. :')

anything from your real life show up in your writing last year:

I’m always taking inspiration from real life but usually in an indirect or vague sense. Not a specific event. There are a few parts from ARMSTOPPER that I draw from irl knowledge that occasionally comes in handy when writing violence. TF2 lends itself to gory humor which is absolutely fine and dandy, and I like to play into it in a slapstick kind of way. I don’t often go beyond that. I’m definitely not writing medical/surgical jargon for free (and tbh it’s not entertaining writing if you do find yourself going into that much detail), nor do I feel compelled to write a story that has to do with work. 

For instance, I would not write a surgery/hospital AU. I would not write about various insane items getting stuck up people's butts. Not an aux cord up someone's penis. Never about a penile fracture caused by someone riding cowgirl. You ever been called to work at 3am for this? It would not be fun. I would hate every second, and I actually enjoy my job, aside from the getting-called-at-3am part. :P

That being said, there’s a part in ARMSTOPPER where Spy describes amputating Engineer’s arm in a kind of romantic way—the physical description on how it feels is true to my own experience but obviously not the romance of it, LMAO. Then later when he sees the Gunslinger as a particularly gruesome weapon, those descriptions are meant to be off-putting. Those are real details that I've personally seen before. So that, I suppose, is my real life job bleeding (hehe) into my fics. I have helped cut off a lot of limbs in my career………………………. (dead stare)

I didn’t mean to get super into this question, but I pretty opinionated on this, lol.

any projects you’re looking to starting (or finishing) this year: god, the follow up to hindsight is kicking my ass. i've set it aside for now but I would to finish it in 2025, and not.. say.... in 2040. but who knows.

other current wips, for those curious:

psychological horror spycest

various stupid pwp fics (ie sniper in a maid outfit)

spy being mature(?!) about deescalating a coworker-with-benefits relationship, sniper about to throw up from having normal emotions about it

I have a feeling sas:rh s2 will kill me dead so I want to finish this fucked up Augustine/Paddy->Eoin(dead) situationship fic I've been noodling at for the better part of the past 8 months.

the fuckingnk... the fucking top gun... top gun mindbond fic. u__u

[bloomingdarkgarden]

Hello,

I hope you're doing well!

Excuse my rambling, but I just wanted to let you know that I deeply appreciate your work (especially what you have done with WBITD), the way you depict and develop characters is truly amazing. We, as readers, appreciate all the hours and sweat that you put into the stories that you create.

Even as a reader, I witness the levels of negativity this fandom has reached almost daily and honestly I cannot imagine how you, as a writer, can cope with it and don't get discouraged by it.

I cannot even imagine the issue that many writers addressed the previous days, that even people that love your work and read it, use ai to finish it, just because they are impatient.

So truly i would like to thank you for sharing with us your words.

I am going to take a time out and focus on my studies, because from where I am from, we have finals right after Christmas, but I want you to know that I truly cannot wait for the moment that I return and read either new chapters or reread the old ones again.

Your writing style truly moves me; it's so eloquent and hauntingly beautiful.

P.S.:You deserve to be published.

I am prepared to read even your grocery list!

Honeybee thank you for this lovely encouragement and sweet words. I hope you slay your studies into the stratosphere!!

This fall i sorta tapped out fandom wise and stepped back, which is necessary and cleansing for all the reasons you named. The ship wars are exhaustive and really make you, as a writer, ask yourself, who exactly am I writing / sharing my inner magic for? People belittling others over imaginary faeries? Ew. I've been in fandom spaces for over a decade and ACOTAR is the only one I've been somewhat embarrassed to be a part of 😂. It is one of the most toxic fan spaces out there, reputably so, and I've managed to write a viral fanfiction for it... oh goodness. Anyway it's challenging to write in this warzone; space is necessary. You do have to garner some strong mental fortitude to write fanfiction. I love my readers dearly but I have repeatedly had readers cross lines by borrowing my prose and elements of the story without proper crediting. It's really founded some broken trust in me and made me step away from engagement this year.

The story itself is more important to me than any of this, and it will carry through. I have some scenes coming up that are gonna blow things outta the water. I'm looking forward to bringing in the new year with a clean mental slate, a refreshed heart, and lots of words on AO3. All my love 💕

[criolla-star]

Overwhelmed(part 18 Vinny x Garmadon)

(i suggest you go check out part 1-17 if you haven't already)

(IMPLIED SMUT IF UNCOMFORTABLE DO NOT READ)

Garmadon quietly went after Vinny and followed him to where he went and hanged with Nya. Honestly they got along with Nya the most next would be Lloyd, Zane, Wu, Kai, Col and Jay. They were all really kind the only one that has caused them problems was Misako. "Hey Nya!" Vinny said out happily, "You seem much more tame then before" She replied as she stretched out. "Yep! Got my revenge" Vinny said before sitting down next to her.

"What did you do?" She asked curiously, Vinny obviously explained unaware that Garmadon was watching, "No way, that is genuinely so funny" She laughed out, "But don't you think that's gonna mess with him more" She added, Vinny nodded, "He sorta wants to mess with me for the whole day, buuuuut I'll mess with him more" Vinny replied.

The two began talking till Garmadon came in, "Hey, Garmadon~" Vinny said in a teasing tone, Nya just waved at him. The oni let out a sigh before walking towards Vinny grabbing him and throwing him over his shoulder. "H-Hey! Put me down!" Vinny whined while Nya was laughing, "If you're going to try and tell people I fucked you might as well make that a reality..." Garmdon said out his voice was low and he began walking away with Vinny, Nya was sitting there with a nosebleed giving Vinny a thumbs up. "Have fun you two!" She shouted holding back laughter as Garmadon left.

Vinny covered his face with his hands as the larger took them to their room to well....fuck...... On the way they saw Cole and Kai, The two stared at them surprisingly before laughing they had no idea what was going on between the two. Finally Garmadon opened the door to their room and dropped Vinny on the bed before locking the door. Vinny was really embarrassed, "I-I umm Garm...?" Vinny stuttered out nervously when there was an awkward silence between the two. There was no answer instead Garmadon took off his shirt and went on top of Vinny.

(SEXXXXXUAL SCENE MIGHT GO INTO NEXT CHAPTER)

Vinny was shy he's never had sex before and c'mon if this was going where he thought it was going he was about to get completely fucked by the former oni warlord and practically the son of a god. The larger lifted Vinnys' legs over his shoulder before kissing, not knowing what to do the smaller submitted and he began getting kissed intensely. Vinny let out a small whimper as Garmadon rubbed his knee against the smallers' crotch. The smaller squirmed around a lot.

Garmadon pulled away and let out a sigh, " You okay with this..?" He asked the smaller nervously he didn't want to do this without Vinnys' consent because consent is sexy. "Y-yea.." Vinny stuttered out nervously. The larger took the smallers' jacket and shirt off. Garmadon began trailing kisses across Vinnys' body until he got to his crotch. He then gently zipped down the fly seeing a small bulge through his boxers. The larger smirked and gently kissed it earning a soft moan. To tease the smaller more he began pressing on the bulge. "G-Garm...stop t-that..." Vinny whimpered out submissively. "You're in no place to be telling me what to do~" Garmadon whispered into his ear receiving an embarrassed apology.

"You're so pretty like this~" Garmadon whispered before pulling down his lovers boxers. His semi hard cock sprung out, (I'm regretting writing this) Garmadon let out a seductive chuckle before gently placing a kiss on it, Vinny covered his mouth with his hands, sure the room was sound proof but he just did this as a reaction thing it calmed him down. The larger began gently licking his cock and felt it twitch as it continued to get hard (Really regretting) Vinny moaned and whimpered out as Garmadon took him into his mouth and began sucking him off. The larger hasn't had much sexual action with someone since well Misako and they had Lloyd so he was just improvising.

The larger continued to suck off the smaller, "A-ahh..~! C-Careful..." Vinny whimpered out he was struggling to form full sentences. Garmadon continued to repeat his actions before realising the smaller was close and lifting up, "W-What was that f-for..?" Vinny whined out, "Uh Uh uh~ Not just yet~" Garmadon replied in a low voice before beginning to take off his pants. Vinny squirmed around really nervously he had deprived himself from pleasure for a while and barely did it mainly because he was tired all the time and he was nervous what would happen if Garmadon saw. Vinny was snapped out of his thoughts when he looked at the oni who had stripped the rest of his clothing, Vinnys' face turned way more red and his eyes widened as he saw his lovers' size, "You alright there, you're staring~" Garmadon asked with a smirk on his face before getting back on Vinny. "M-me? Yea I-I'm fine!" Vinny said out shyly before while looking the other way.

The larger smirked, "You can tell me what's wrong~" Garmadon whispered into his ear earning a soft little whimper. The truth is Garmadon had no idea Vinny was a virgin and imagine losing your virginity to an oni warlord and especially that size (10inch btw) Vinny looked stared up at him embarrassingly, "W-well I've never d-done this before at a-all..." The smaller said out quietly, The larger looked a bit surprised hearing that then cupped Vinnys' cheeks, "Don't you worry, I'll take care of you~" The oni said trying to make sure his lover wasn't uncomfortable.

Garmadon thought for a minute before looking at Vinny, "I'm gonna prep you first" he told the smaller receiving a shy nod in agreement, "P-Please be g-gentle..." Vinny said out softly as Garmadon flipped him over causing Vinny to yelp out, "This might hurt..." the larger said, the smaller was about to say something before being cut off by a finger being pushed into him. Vinny hissed in pain causing Garmadon to apologise. The larger began thrusting his finger in and out of the smaller, before pushing in another finger when he thought Vinny could handle it, "A-ah~ C-careful..." Vinny whimpered out as he held onto the bed sheets tightly.

Garmadon began scissoring his finger inside Vinny earning a bit of a louder moan, the smaller was so overwhelmed by this the only thing Garmadon could think about is how overwhelmed he'll be he's actually inside. Adding another finger Vinny started to squirm around, "Stay still it's gonna hurt more like this..." Garmadon said not wanting to hurt the smaller one thing was that the onis' hands were was bigger than Vinnys' and that he had claws which is why he was being really gentle. The smaller hid his face in the bed sheet muffling his moans as Garmadon continued to stretch him out. Garmadon took it a step further by beginning to jerk off Vinny to mess with him more. Vinny was extremely overstimulated and his legs were shaking slightly, but after a while the larger was satisfied with the result and took his fingers out of the smaller there was a muffled whine which made Garmadon chuckle before he put his cock against the smallers' entrance.

Vinny still had his face slammed into the pillow, but it was pretty obvious that he was freaking out. "I'm gonna put it in and give you time to a just" Garmadon said as he grabbed the smallers' hips.

(HAJASHSHSHAHJUWUQSU IMAGINE WAITING TILL NEXT CHAPTER FOR THE CONTINUATION OF THIS, BUT HOLY SHIT THIS IT SO WEIRD WRITING IT DOWN BUUUUUT IT COULD BE WORSE HOPE YOU ENJOY)

[altschmerzes]

I looked up the series you talked about and you're telling me that all in the g*me is that book series I keep hearing about, and despite having cool names like "the f*xhole court" and "raven k*ng" it doesn't even have the decency to be a fantasy??? It's a SPORTS series?!?! Unforgiveable

But in all seriousness I've heard about these books a lot and now that I know they're Bad in every way any sliver of interest i might have had is gone.

i’ll defend it being a sports series being as i extremely enjoy both sports and sports fiction and think sports fiction has a lot of untapped potential for character exploration and dynamics etc etc except that this shite is so nominally sports fiction it’s laughably insulting to the concept

spirit however bad i made it sound, it’s so much worse, and if i can save even ONE person from getting pulled into that bullshit it will all be worth it. people recommended it to me for years bc my original novel is sports fiction and it’s such an insulting comparison like I HOPE my writing is nothing like this lmao!!

i can just SEE now this fandom which is um. scary. in its devotion to this series and author being the best thing since sliced bread. throwing absolute tantrums about how i just can’t handle MESSY CHARACTERS and COMPLICATED QUEER STORIES but it’s like the problem isn’t that the characters and story are messy and complicated the problem is that they’re really poorly written - like to an embarrassing extent poorly written - and every page of those books drips with hatred of women, weirdness of various kinds about people of colour, simultaneous fascination and revulsion with gayness, and trauma fetishization that goes far beyond extreme. like it’s fine that the love interest is ~toxic or whatever he just sucks to read about. my wife and i are working on a blog sorta. going through it chapter by chapter because there’s too much in there that’s both insane and violently terrible to some entire category of people to summarize it overall.

I just can’t believe anyone could enjoy this stuff. like i like some garbage don’t get me wrong. i don’t have High Standards or whatever. but this is like… the bigotry in these books is nauseating and the writing is so bad it makes me embarrassed to read it. every time i’m reminded it’s got this huge fandom I’m baffled. and then i remember the waifish white boys who are like a pinterest board with bloody knuckles and cigarette smoke come to life and im like oh right lmao.

[unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men]

Fandom Leap

Chapter 2 Carry On

Fandom Leap Masterlist

Prologue /Chapter 1

🥧 Universe: Supernatural

🥧 Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

🥧 Words: 2005

Notes: I am screaming, crying and throwing up both from excitement and nervousness. Also huge thank you to @supraveng for even considering me for this. I have NEVER been in any type of writing collab and I am shook I was even thought of for this. I am excited to see the flow and to read all the other writer’s stories and see the other universes. So I hope everyone enjoys it and please check out the other writers involved. Also any mistakes are my own. This was not beta read.

Thank you so much for reading this, as always reblogs and comments go a long way and are welcome and super appreciated. Please check out the other parts of the story and enjoy!

Dividers from @firefly-graphics

“Where am I now?” You glanced around seeing a very few buildings, in the distance you saw what you thought was a sleazy hotel, sighing you started walking towards it. You wish you could know what the heck was going on, you were so close and then you “jumped again” After a while you realized the hotel seemed even further away than you thought.

Everything hurt and you really just wanted a soft bed and a shower. Before you can gather your bearings the roar of an engine makes your jump. A sleek, black and chrome car rounds the corner and all you can do is brace yourself for the inevitable impact, but you’re surprised when the car stops right next to you. Grumbling to yourself you hoped it wasn’t some grade A creeper, you hear someone talking to you “Sweetheart, do you need a ride?”

Getting ready to throw some attitude at the driver you turn, and are shocked. The man talking to you looks at you confused “Sweetheart you good?” You gape at him,slowly shaking your head no "No I was just in New York where am I now?" you take a shaky breath as you shake your head hoping that this is a dream. Sighing the man looks to the passenger and stops the car gesturing to the back seat “Come on sweetheart get in and we’ll at least take you to the hotel up the road, it's a little hot to be walking outside today, and you’re in Lebanon Kansas”

Looking at him, you swallow he looks sincere his green eyes looking at you with concern, the spray of freckles across his face make him look younger and you can’t help but smile “Uh sure thanks, sorry can’t be too careful nowadays” The man nods and smiles “I agree sweetheart, name’s Dean, Dean Winchester. This is my brother Sam and sometimes an angel will sorta appear. His name is Castiel.” You almost let out a squeal, you thought he looked familiar. You watched all of Supernatural more times than you could count, had any and all merchandise and were mildly obsessed with Dean Winchester. And now you were staring at him, his brother and Baby…..you couldn’t believe how your day…days were going.

Sliding into the car you gently shut the door knowing how much Dean cared for his Baby, unable to hide the smile on your face you looked over to Dean and Sam “Thanks so much for picking me up, been on any interesting hunts lately?” Suddenly the car stops and there is a gun pointed at you from Dean “Who the hell are you,are you a demon or one of those dickhead angels?” Sam looks at Dean “Come on Dean maybe there is an explanation..” 

“Dean put the gun away, this woman is clearly not from this universe” You turn to your left and see Castiel, nodding you clear your throat “He’s right! I swear I was just somewhere else in a different universe and I jumped, I honestly have no idea how this is even happening” Glancing at the men you blush feeling embarrassed, Dean chuckles softly “It’s ok sweetheart if Cas says you’re from another universe we believe him, trust me this won’t be the weirdest thing we’ve ever seen” Winking at you he smirks and turns back around and starts Baby back up, driving the short distance to the hotel. Checking everyone in you wait for the brothers before entering the hotel room, looking around you smile “Oh magic fingers! These are great! Anyone got some quarters?”

Dean laughs and smiles moving closer to you “Sweetheart I think I’m going to like you being here, see that Sammy another Magic Fingers enthusiast. Now sweetheart tell us everything that happened before you got here, every detail. Cas get down here please so you can help explain things” Hearing wings you look and see Castiel smiling at you, sitting next to you “Hello again” Smiling you nod “Hello again Castiel Angel of the Lord” Dean rolls his eyes slightly and sits on your right side, placing his hand on your knee “Go on sweetheart tell us your story” Nodding you start telling them everything including how you had just jumped when you were walking on the road, Sam look intrigued while Dean looks sad and so does Castiel “Everything she said is accurate Dean” Dean nods “But how does so go back to her right universe? She can’t just keep bouncing can she?”

Castiel shrugs “I think that depends on her, someone or something is allowing her to meet these people so until she has met them all she will continue to jump, once then will it stop” You nod slightly “It’s that easy? Won’t that uh mess me up? I mean traveling that much sounds damaging?” Dean nods in agreement “Yeah I feel like that can’t be good sweetheart no offense” Castiel cocks his head at Dean “She’s been fine so far I believe she will continue to be fine, for now we should enjoy our time with her before she “jumps” again” Dean smiles and nods “Sammy, Cas how about you get a bunch of greasy cheeseburgers with the works and fries, oh and some pie! And we’ll have a party of sorts for our new friend” Winking at you again Dean smiles, Castiel chuckles and nods “Of course Dean.”

Sam nods and looks at you “You going to be alright here with my brother?” You laugh and nod “Yeah I’ll be fine” Sam laughs and looks at Castiel “Come on let’s get Romeo here some food and pie” Castiel looks at Sam confused “That is not Romeo that is Dean” Laughing softly you watch the two of them leave, glancing at Dean you sigh “I hate to ask this but I really want to take a shower and clearly I have no spare clothes with me can I borrow something?” Dean chuckles and nods “Yeah I think I have a spare flannel you can wear and maybe a shirt, otherwise Sammy has some but they might end up a dress but hey it’s something” Smiling you nod and look around the room as Dean rumages for clothes, suddenly you feel someone behind you. Turning you see Dean with a smirk on his face “Here you go sweetheart, now go shower and then we can eat”

Blushing slightly you nod and head into the shower, shutting the bathroom door you strip, turning on the shower you let the water get nice and hot. Walking under the spray you sigh happily letting the hot water relax your sore muscles washing up you grab the shampoo and lather up your hair. Feeling much better than before you shut off the water and step out, drying off you pull back on your bra and panties. Pulling on the shirt and the flannel and your pants you walk back out “Dean?” Looking up from his laptop he licks his lips and smiles “Yeah sweetheart? Feelin better, you look better, more relaxed” Laughing you walk over to him “Oh so before I looked bad? I’m kidding, I do feel better, thanks for the clothes. Sam and Castiel back yet?” Dean shakes his head, his eyes still roaming over you “Not yet sweetheart still just you and me, come on and sit with me while I do some research” Nodding you sit and look at the papers and books laying around.

My neighbor came back and took a bite out of my arm ... .My sister isn’t my sister, she’s a body snatcher…The ghost of my cat is haunting me Glancing at Dean you smirk slightly “Can we look for the ghost cat? Sounds cuddly and kind of cute” Dean laughs and watches you “I was researching for a case sweetheart but I’ll be sure to get you that ghost cat” Winking at you Dean gently pats your knee making your skin break out in goosebumps, Dean grins and looks at you “So what was the other universe like?” You blush slightly, licking your lips you smile “It was good, hard to explain but there were some enhanced people there and yeah was good” Frowning slightly you remember Bucky’s face shocked as you jumped again, Dean sees your face fall and rubs your knee gently “Hey sorry sweetheart didn’t mean to bring up anything sad” You shake your head “No offense but I wish I could have stayed there more,but I am glad I’m here uh with you and of course Sammy” Dean smirked “Oh course sweetheart” Blushing you shake your head at him “I’m serious!”

Dean laughs and smiles “Oh I believe you sweetheart I promise, so let me ask you how do you know if or when you're about to jump universes?” You look at him yawning slightly “It’s hard to describe it just feels like something is going to happen…and then I’m just somewhere else” Dean rubs your knee gently “That sounds like that would be very difficult to get used to, well I hope your with us for a while and if you do jump again I won’t stop until I find you again alright?” You nod your head, tears filling them “That means a lot to me, thanks Dean” Stroking your cheek with his thumb he winks at you “Anything for you sweetheart, I know I haven’t known you a long time but I feel like I’ve known you for a lifetime, now you’ve had a long day so how about we get some sleep and we can talk more in the morning?” 

Nodding you smile “That sounds amazing it’s actually exhausting to jump through universes” Standing you walk with Dean glancing around the bunker “Was going to ask if you wanted your own room or wouldn’t mind sharing one with me? Only because we don’t know when you’ll jump again” Laughing softly you smile up at him “Sure we can share one if you’re ok with it” Smirking at you “Sweetheart I’m sure I would like the left side if possible, plus I always sleep with a gun and its hidden under a pillow on that side. I’ll try to stay on my side promise” Looking at him mischievously you smile “I can’t promise anything but I’ll try to behave myself” Dean laughs and nods “Fair enough sweetheart, I hopefully will see you in the morning”

You nod hoping that this time you won’t jump, you slide into bed and still can’t believe that this whole thing is happening. How many more times would you jump? What universes would you go to? Would you ever be able to stick with one?” Your mind was running a mile a minute glancing at the nearby wall. You felt arms wrapping around you and pulling you close. “I can almost hear you thinking sweetheart, just get some sleep and remember I’ll find you no matter what ok?” Nodding your head you press close to him before closing your eyes.

Feeling a light in your eyes you groan loudly turning you frown “Oh no…” You manage to open an eye and realize it happened again, your heart sunk as you realized you were not in the hotel room with Dean, but where were you now?

[johnslittlespoon]

you're a dog (i'm your man) ch4 update !! <3

DON'T QUOTE ME ON THIS because knowing me, i could dream up a whole new scene to try and squeeze in, buttt it's looking like i'll hopefully get chapter four done by the end of this week ahhh <33 if i say it out loud surely it'll make me hold myself accountable LOL

working title and a timeline hint sorta kinda:

'How Long Do I Have Left With My Dog?'

this one has been emotion heavy (and some of those emotions are quite fitting for the month we're in lmaoo i know what you are gale cleven) and hard to write bc i'm much more a dialogue over internal thought writer, but i hope it does the boys justice and makes the timeline progression filler feel less filler–y <3

also gonna be the longest chapter yet– already passed the 5k word threshold, guessing it'll be closer to 7k oopsie. thank youuu for the patience as always while i've been a sickly victorian man on my death bed SDGKJS appreciate it so so much :')

i'm SOOO excited for what i have planned for ch5, it's motivating me to wade thru the 'less fun' (read: angst) parts of ch4 because there are some scenes coming up that i've had planned in my head since before i even decided to make this fic into anything other than a collection of dog–coded oneshots <33

there's a scene i think i briefly drabbled about here back in like. february. that will slot into ch5 (or 6 if i have to split it up again lmfao) and it's crazy to see my shit come so full circle AND TO SEE HOW LONG DOG CODED BUCKY HAS HAD ME IN A CHOKEHOLD. embarrassing truly!!! wtf. i love these boys

ok that's my little (long) updateee, thank you again for putting up with my slow updates and replies and lack of brainrot lately <3 hope ur having a lovely pride month so far!!

[monstrous-flower]

HI DOLL HI DOLL HI DOLL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OKAY SO LIKE IM SO HYPE IM SO CRAZY IM FOAMNING AT THE MOUTH AND LITERALLY MY HANDZ ARE SHAKING SO MUCH

THE NEW CHAPTER IZ PHENOMENAL !!!!!!!!!! IM SOSOSOSOSO NORMAL ABOUT IT I PROMMY I SWEARRR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND LIKE SORRY SORRY SUPER SORRY TO SIDETRACK FROM THAT BUUTTT

i waz listening to Dobu no Awa while reading it [az stupid az it iz . it helpz me get immersed into the scenez eazily . believe it or not] and one specific song came on and it waz literally SO FITTING WITH THE CHAPTER ...........

"Hyperventilation" – Dobu no Awa

the entire vibe of the song already just fitz the casino bit . in my opinion . BUT THE LYRICZ IZ REALLY WHERE I THINK IT SHINEZ – ITZ GENUINELY SUPER SUPER FITTING WITH LUCY N TEMP IN MY EYEZ .........

"How irritating // I understand rejection too // It's fine, it's fine" iz like really fitting for temp n how he feelz so like . empty – like therez no really good reazon to move forward but . az he sayz it himself . "still holdz out a tiny bit of hope" ; AND THE LYRICZ "I get sick of this // I grow stubborn // And I make this even worse // I'm not confident either" ARE ALSO FITTING FOR HIZ CHARACTER METHINKZ BECAUZE OF HIZ ATTITUDE N STUFF ............

"I laugh // 'How unlike you' // Beyond the mirror // Hurray, hurray" i think thiz lyric fitz with lucy cuz i remember you bringing up her reflection at some point and how it progressively distortz over the course of the killingz – just think itz sorta fitting with hiz worsening mental state . honestly ; AND THE REPRIZE THATZ LIKE "I laugh // 'There's no use' // Beyond the mirror // A failure, failure" – I HEARD THIZ AND AUDIBLY GASPED LIKE . THATZ SO LUCY . RIGHT ???????????

"Ahh, the world is teeming up with revolting things [×4]" THIZ PART BEFORE THE CHORUZ RLLY DOEZ FIT WITH THE BOTH OF THEM THO CUZ LIKE . THE ODDZ ARE STACKED AGAINST THEM LIKE ALWAYZ AND THEY BOTH HAVE TO SUFFER SO BADLY ....... WAWAWA ..............

"Breathe in, breath out // Just keep on breathing // It'll be fine // Slowly tell me that's all I need to do for now..." AND THIZ IZ SUPER FITTING FOR THE PART AFTER LUCYZ BREAKDOWN !!!!!!!!! LIKE THAT SHORT MOMENT OF SOLACE AND COMFORT THE TWO SHARE IN TEMPZ CAR ........... AND ALSO THE SECOND CHORUZ – "Breathe in, breathe out // Let's calm down and breathe // 'It's fine. I get it' // Well, what do you know?" – ALSO FITZ BETTER WITH LUCYZ INNER TURMOIL AND HOW NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND THEM ................... THEY REALLY TRY TO CALM DOWN TOGETHER BUT LIKE . IN THE BACK OF MY MIND . I KNOW FOR A FACT TEMPZ ATTEMPTZ WERE IN VEIN LIKE I MEOW IT ..... FOR A FACTTTT ..............

okay okay im sorry for making thiz so long but i really really REALLY had to get thiz off my chest ; all the stuff i said iz balderdash anyway – pleaze don't hate me for getting stuff wrong about your au becauze i genuinely love it more than wordz can express

sorry for getting so excited . but i really did love the chapter <33 you're definitely my favorite writer . artist . best friend AND older sibling like . wowow !!!! <DDD

okay take care im sorry for yapping so much again !!!! byebye !!!!! <333

Hello again Spooky! Before I show my gratitude for your kindness I did want to tell you that I never would of started rewriting my fanfiction if it wasn't for you, I know it sounds like a whole lot of cheesy bologna but when you'd post writing for your fics piece by piece or even go into detail for songs relating to High Voltage characters, It gave me actual ambition to start retelling my story. I know you're been highly struggling lately with believing no one cares about you but if it wasn't for you I wouldn't even have tried again. You have NO IDEA how much you've been inspiring me ever since I started following your account? You make me feel less embarrassed to still enjoy Vocaloid as much as I do, You make me feel as if I'm not complete cringe for having certain scenarios drawn out in the characters, Even your symbolic art has MOTIVATED ME to work harder on my own content. It's incredible what one person can do.. All these things you've done to give me the strength to share something when for months I was afraid no one even cared enough. But let me tell you because you are the biggest Tempus fan around He has in fact, Attempted suicide before and it wasn't a one off event but the last time he did try was probably the most traumatic which is why he would feel a be inclined to be there for Lucid. I think the chapter inspiration stemmed a bit with you in mind because Admittedly.. I take elements off of my friends into CERTAIN dhmis teachers for DSMIT so thank YOU for being a light in my life. Even if you've been struggling so much you still do a lot for me!!!!

I ALSO REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVE SONG ANALYSIS.. Good god I started to tear up I'm genuinely so fucking glad I met you. You even show up with SONGS and EXPLAIN THINGS which don't worry.. THERE IS NO WRONG WAY ABOUT THIS AU THAT'S YOU'VE EXPRESSED. You always get it so accurate I'm gonna sob