#and even more grateful to be able to make anyone feel anything with it! dog coded bucky in my heart 4 ever fr fr

[johnslittlespoon]

you're a dog (i'm your man) ch4 update !! <3

DON'T QUOTE ME ON THIS because knowing me, i could dream up a whole new scene to try and squeeze in, buttt it's looking like i'll hopefully get chapter four done by the end of this week ahhh <33 if i say it out loud surely it'll make me hold myself accountable LOL

working title and a timeline hint sorta kinda:

'How Long Do I Have Left With My Dog?'

this one has been emotion heavy (and some of those emotions are quite fitting for the month we're in lmaoo i know what you are gale cleven) and hard to write bc i'm much more a dialogue over internal thought writer, but i hope it does the boys justice and makes the timeline progression filler feel less filler–y <3

also gonna be the longest chapter yet– already passed the 5k word threshold, guessing it'll be closer to 7k oopsie. thank youuu for the patience as always while i've been a sickly victorian man on my death bed SDGKJS appreciate it so so much :')

i'm SOOO excited for what i have planned for ch5, it's motivating me to wade thru the 'less fun' (read: angst) parts of ch4 because there are some scenes coming up that i've had planned in my head since before i even decided to make this fic into anything other than a collection of dog–coded oneshots <33

there's a scene i think i briefly drabbled about here back in like. february. that will slot into ch5 (or 6 if i have to split it up again lmfao) and it's crazy to see my shit come so full circle AND TO SEE HOW LONG DOG CODED BUCKY HAS HAD ME IN A CHOKEHOLD. embarrassing truly!!! wtf. i love these boys

ok that's my little (long) updateee, thank you again for putting up with my slow updates and replies and lack of brainrot lately <3 hope ur having a lovely pride month so far!!

[whateveriwant]

The 141 in a reverse harem

18+ content, GN!Reader, Reader is the ruler of an ancient kingdom

Soap

The moment you step into their communal quarters, Soap is always the first one to greet you, almost Iike he was sitting right beside the door

But nooooo, don't be silly. Of course he's not been impatiently waiting since your last visit. Though, you were 28 and ¾ minutes later than normal, not that he's been counting or anything

As you walk around their dwelling deciding on who to take back to your chambers for the night, he's following closely behind like a little horny whiny puppy

More than once, he's accidentally stepped on your robes because of just how close he likes to trail after you

Oh, but he's so terribly sorry! Here, let him make it up to you! Please, please let him make it up to you!

Because he tries to hog the limited time you spend with the men, it's earned him more than a few elbows to the ribs from his biggest “rival” in the group: Gaz. And speaking of which…

Gaz

Always trailing a little less desperately closely behind is the newest member of the harem: Gaz

Though he may be the youngest of the four, that doesn't mean he's any less experienced in these types of matters (and the young ones are always the most eager to please, aren't they)

Have you had a good day, darling? He knows you're very busy running a kingdom and all, so he for one is grateful you've taken time out of your hectic schedule to visit them

Oh, but your shoulders look so tense, darling! He can rub them for you if you'd like

And your poor feet! Those sandals of yours look awfully uncomfortable. Why doesn't he head back with you so he can show your full body the love it deserves

While he and Soap can't help but bicker when it comes to vying for your attention, on the rare occasion, the two have been able to put aside their differences and work together, if you know what I mean

Price

Unlike the two younger men, Price feels no need to fight for your time

No, he knows you'll eventually make your way over to him, swaying your hips in that way that makes him salivate like a dog

As the oldest and the longest resident of the group, he's become somewhat of a right hand of yours; almost like a concubine turned consultant, if you will

While of course he loves nothing more than to get down to the nitty gritty with you, these talks of yours are truly the highlight of his day even when they're entirely polite in nature

Why yes, he has done something different with his beard, thank you for noticing. He got some new oils from the market yesterday. Do you like it? Isn't it soft? Just wait until you feel it between your thighs

No matter who you're taking to your bed for the evening, Price always escorts you to the door of their quarters, leaving you with a kiss to the hand goodbye. Until next time, starlight

Ghost

Last but certainly not least is the man you have the most… interesting dynamic with, to put it one way

It's funny, really. He likes to pretend the sweet taste of you doesn't haunt his every waking moment, and you like to pretend that there was anyone else on your mind the second you walked through the door

But oh, he sees that you've arrived yet again... Well, this book of his is super interesting, so he's just going to sit in the corner and read, and absolutely not watch you out of the corner of his eye

What was that? No, he's not holding it in his lap for any reason. And no, his pant legs aren't shorter than normal. Why would you think that?

Oh, but the moment you hold your hand out for him, he has to stop himself from immediately tossing the dumb book aside and hauling you over his shoulder like some sort of rabid beast

Instead, he takes his time standing from his seat, almost indifferent as he takes your hand and lets you lead him back to your chambers

It's all a farce though, of course. Nothing makes his pride swell more than having you scream his name for the whole palace to hear, echoing all the way back to where the three other men are left to sit and mope

[mysicklove-main]

Tanjiro Kamado hates your new perfume.

He watched Tengen’s three wives gift you the small bottle with confusion. It smelled nice, whatever the fragrance was exactly. Maybe it was air freshener or maybe it was just meant to be smelled straight out of the bottle.

But to the strong smelling boy’s horror, you sprayed it upon your skin. That recognizable, comforting scent he looks for when stuck in a crowd is now gone. Tarnished by that potent smelling liquid. He hates it immediately.

He even watched the way Nezuko, who also had a keen sense of smell due to her demon state, let out strange soft growls in confusion. It seemed to him that she also preferred your natural scent.

But how could he say anything when you look so happy spraying it on every morning. How you have a soft grateful smile on your face, while you take a deep breathe of the sweet smelling concoction.

So, for now he sits there with a strained smile on his face, waiting for it to slowly wear off throughout the day so he can be greeted with your familiar scent. He even goes as far to mention how strong and nice smelling your perfume is later in the day so you don’t feel the need to apply more. He does feel a little bad for lying.

“Isn’t this so much better, Tanjiro? I know you got a dogs nose, don’t you like it? Now you don’t have to smell me all sweaty after battle!” What is he supposed to say to that? That he likes what you smell like after harsh training? Yeah, and admit to being more of a pervert than Zenitsu. He’d rather not.

“Yep! Smells great, Y/N! Like flowers. And don’t worry about the sweat, I’m used to it!” He gives you that familiar bright smile and you kiss him on the cheek before heading out the door.

He stays in the room for a second longer, staring at the small bottle. He might as well be glaring at it. It makes him feel guilty, this was a present, and you liked it. He should have no right to feel so annoyed at the perfume.

But still, couldn’t this be a safety hazard? If your scent was covered how would he be able to find you as quickly as he does? What if it’s stronger than the smell of your blood? What if he doesn’t smell a demon because he is so distracted by how annoyed he is that your perfect scent is now ruined!

He has got to get rid of it. For the sake of his sanity and your protection.

He turns toward Nezuko who recently joined him in your room. “It’s a safety hazard, right Nezuko? I have to do something.”

She nods with a small huff and Tanjiro makes a decision. He is going to get rid of it. Cut the bottle into pieces if he must. It would be a lot more satisfying that way.

He pulls out his blade and points it to thinner part at the top where the spritzer is at. Just like a demon, he will cut the neck off and then it won’t hurt anyone anymore. He pulls his sword back to land the blow. “Tanjiro, I can make a promise that my perfume is not a demon.” You call, watching the whole situation take place as you lean against the wall with a grin.

He jumps out of his skin and turns to you with a guilt ridden face. “Y-Y/N what are you doing in here?” He asks meakly, his face flushed from embarrassment.

He catches a glance at Nezuko leaving the room. Betrayal.

“Looking for you. Heard you mention something about a safety hazard,” You hum, smug smirk on your mouth as you look toward the boy ahead of you.

“You see as someone apart of the Demon Slayer Corps it’s my sacred duty to protect you and everyone else from danger!” He reasons, knowing how ridiculous he sounds in the moment, but trying not to let it get to him.

You blink, raising your eyebrows. “My perfume is dangerous?”

He stumbles, mouth open to try to find any sort of reasoning. He fails. “Uh yes?”

“Why?”

“Because it’s you know…Distracting. Cant focus on killing demons with that smell around.”

You cock your head to the side in confusion. “Because it smells so good?”

“No! Because now I won’t be able to pick up your scent! What happens if you get lost or something and I can’t find you?”

“Alright, that makes sense. I’ll stop wearing it.”

He continues in a ramble, “And it ruins your scent! You smell way better without it. Seriously you can even ask Nezuko!” You raise your eyebrows at him. “How am i supposed to recognize if it’s you near me or some random person if you smell—Wait. You’ll stop wearing it?”

“Of course, if it makes you uncomfortable.” You respond and he feels his body deflate in relief. He was expecting that to be a lot harder considering how much you liked the perfume. He barely had to state his case.

He sighs and brings his sword back up to the neck of the bottle. “Okay good. Shall I behead it?”

You roll your eyes with a smile. “I have a better idea.” You say, before grabbing the bottle and dropping it in the nearest trash bin. You turn back to him with a cheery grin.

He lowers his sword with a slight blush realizing how he looked. “That was a tough one. Definitely a higher rank demon. So glad I had my dog nosed boyfriend to protect me,” You tease and he looks down and puts his sword away. You wrap your arms around his neck and smile at his embarrassed face.

He glances down at you. “Let’s run you a bath”

You frown. “Why?”

“I miss your scent,” He replies with that familiar loving expression. You almost laugh at how ridiculous he sounded, but held back knowing that he was being a hundred percent serious.

[mellowwillowy]

Hey uhm

What would you feel about puppy reader-

Yan mafia x puppy reader that's very affectionate to him,

Can be Nsfw or fluff or something else, your choice

Your able to decline this if ur uncomfortable or not doing any request

Since I'm pretty sensitive about LIfE project's reader, I will use CatboX's cast instead (peace). CW: Riding shoes, NSFW, GN, crack post bye.

"Now who's a good pup?" He was practically stroking you as though you were a dog, but that was the truth! Your tails wiggled left and right excitedly as you made a woof sound at him.

Caelus chuckled as he patted your head, "Shall we play a fetch game?" You knew better than to fetch it with two legs. No. He expected you to run with 4 limbs on the floor! You may have the dog's features in you but you were still quite the human. It was almost like a pet play and that was the truth.

The vibrator stuck inside of you started to pick its pace as he threw a chew toy across the room. You tried your best to pick it up, fast. But your knees were aching for a pillow and your hands were sore. But you knew better than to stop yourself mid-way.

You ran back toward him with the chew toy in your mouth, the vibration was still there as he took it out of your mouth, "Good." You felt a pang of pride as he praised you.

"You were faster in retrieving it than before, surely a good pup like you deserve something in return?" He nudged your knee with his shoe, a well-polished shoe. Cocking his head to the side, you knew what he was trying to say.

You sat on top of his shoe and started to grind yourself against it. It didn't do much but it helped you, building more arousal from the idea of cumming all over his shoe. The vibrator picked up its pace, urging you to do more and you did.

You were about to mutter something in words until Caelus squeaked the toy that was in his hand, "I never knew dogs could speak?"

You couldn't do anything. You tried your best to contain your moans but a string of it slipped. "W-woof!" Content, Caelus sat back and lit up his cigarette while he started to read the files that he had to review. He knew he wouldn't be getting any job done from how noisy you were. But one should try too right?

If anything, Caelus was not a fan of letting anyone see your naked body so you were grateful his men were not around. Things didn't feel so arousing anymore and Caelus decided to push your buttons.

His shoe nudged up toward your sex, helping you to get off while the vibration's pace started to edge you. Up, down, high, low, fast, slow.

Even better, the mark he had left on your body started to feel tingly. It's building a coil in your stomach and you need to break the coil! What kind of development is this? Why is it suddenly pleasurable for you?

"Heuk-! Akh! Cae-!" "Mmmh.. go on, say my name."

Love formed in your eyes as you hugged his thigh with both of your arms, you chanted his name repeatedly as though it was some sort of prayer. No more barking, only expressing what you want to.

Only expressing what you want to!

--

"Why not let me clean your shoes instead...?" He was very insistent about not letting anyone clean it. To hell with them getting to touch the trace of you! He was also considerate enough to not make you lick it clean (he was not in his sadist mood so you were saved, ahaha.)

"You came a lot." "Did I?"

You did.

[97keanu]

"ʳᵒˡˡ ᵗʰᵉ ʷⁱⁿᵈᵒʷ ᵈᵒʷⁿ ᵗʰⁱˢ

ᶜᵒᵒˡ ⁿⁱᵍʰᵗ ᵃⁱʳ ⁱˢ ᶜᵘʳⁱᵒᵘˢ

ˡᵉᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ʷʰᵒˡᵉ ʷᵒʳˡᵈ ˡᵒᵒᵏ ⁱⁿ

ʷʰᵒ ᶜᵃʳᵉˢ ʷʰᵒ ˢᵉᵉˢ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᵗᵒⁿⁱᵍʰᵗ﹖

ʳᵒˡˡ ᵗʰᵉˢᵉ ᵐⁱˢᵗʸ ʷⁱⁿᵈᵒʷˢ

ᵈᵒʷⁿ ᵗᵒ ᶜᵃᵗᶜʰ ᵐʸ ᵇʳᵉᵃᵗʰ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗʰᵉⁿ

ᵍᵒ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵍᵒ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵍᵒ ʲᵘˢᵗ

ᵈʳⁱᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ʰᵒᵐᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵇᵃᶜᵏ ᵃᵍᵃⁱⁿ"

✧ I'm your passenger ✧

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Dave Lizewski x Goth!Reader

Premise: You and Dave have been seeing each other every weekend since your history project together, but for a while now you've been too scared to admit your true feelings. Tonight, you take Dave to a bonfire with you other alternative friends, and introduce him as your boyfriend for the first time. You also end up taking Dave back to your car for some much needed release under the full autumn moon.

Tags: sappy romantic who doesn't want to show her feelings reader, Dave who is totally head over heels but doesn't want to push anything in fear of losing you, Dave is so nervous to meet your friends and go to his first party, reader who realizes she really might just be in love with this nerd, mentions of casual drinking, car sex, semi public but not mentioned much, dominant reader, some Dom Dave, reader on top, p in v, raw sex, size kink, teasing.

Words: 3.6k

Read the first part here. Be added to Dave's taglist here. Dave x Reader (Jennifer's Body AU) here. Dave x popular!reader imagine here.

Dave Lizewski had never been to a party his entire highschool career. In fact, the last party he went to with more than just Marty and Todd was a first grade "everyone has to be invited" birthday party. Even that, Dave remembers very vividly, particularly when he's staring at the ceiling late at night in dread, was a mistake. He had eaten too much cake, mixed it with as many Pepsi cola's as his tiny six year old body could hold, and ended up seeing it all again on the dancefloor about 20 minutes later. He hoped to God, or whoever was up there, that tonight wouldn't have a similar fate. He would never be able to live it down if he embarrassed himself tonight, in front of you, of all people.  It was you, all black lipstick and smudged eye make up, that had roped him into this. You two started as project partners, and very quickly advanced to something more. Dave couldn't believe you, the goth girl of his nerdy comic book dreams, had taken an interest in him.  It had only been a few weeks since Dave started regularly seeing you, and he was still unclear on whether or not you two were a "thing" as Todd had put it when he grilled Dave about why he wasn't hanging out with "the boys" anymore. Half the time, you still ignored him during the school day. You stomped your way through the hallway with knee high combat boots, black and buckled more than needed to be. You would, if Dave was lucky that day, perhaps give him a look that was slightly softer than your usual scowl. 

It was the weekends when he really saw you. A simple command. A text that said "Come over." and that was it for Dave. He was like a dog on a leash for you, drooling all week in his bed alone, thinking about you with his hands busy in his pants. He felt embarrassed the amount of times he'd looked at a picture you posted on MySpace here or there, sitting at his desk, ogling those pixels on the screen just to get him through the week til he saw you again. 

He would hate how much you have him whipped if it wasn't for the fact that he was actually entirely grateful anyone would fuck him, let alone you. No, for you? He would do anything you told him to. And you knew that, of course. Which is why you are dragging Dave out of the city to bumfuck nowhere to party with the goths. 

Despite Dave's very adamant concerns, mainly to do with how he would never fit into a crowd like that, here he was, riding passenger in your beat up car. The night had started to settle in, the sun falling earlier as the cool of fall began to crisp the earth with its presence. Leaves turned to orange and gold, dipping low on the branches of weary trees that the tiny car's hood grazed as you took yet another back road. Dave began to wonder if you actually knew where this party was as the headlights became a sole source of light. 

"D-do you, um, actually know where this spot is?" Dave speaks up over your car stereo, which is currently blasting something by London After Midnight which Dave was still unfamiliar with. 

"Of course, stop worrying." You steal a glance at him, where he is pushing his glasses up nervously in the seat next to you. He catches your black lips smirking in the lowlight and he can't help but want to give in, as always, to your demands. 

"I just…I don't think they're going to l-like me…" Dave says with interjecting sighs, repeating once again his main fear for tonight. 

"Dave, it's other alternative people, this isn't exactly the popular crowd." You slide a hand over to his thigh, your many rings clinking together as you do so. 

"I know, but that doesn't mean I'll fit in…" Dave can't help but to meet your hand, giving it a squeeze where it lays on his thigh. 

"Trust me, you'll fit in if I say you fit in." You try to ease his fears once again. "I know these people quite well, if I say you're cool, you're cool. It'll be alright, Dave."

Dave nods, muttering a "yeah, cool" to himself as he feels another squeeze from your soft hand. He runs a nervous finger over your black nail polish for the rest of the car ride, and tries to see the scenery of the intensifying dense woods that engulf the tiny car. 

Eventually, as Sean Brennan's voice whines on, you two come to a driveway. You turn in, a few other cars have already arrived. An orange blaze of a bonfire flashes from around the side of an old white farmhouse and Dave can hear the chitter chatter of other teens as you two exit the car. Dave can feel his stomach tighten as he imagines a mirror before him, showing him how he looks to others. 

He tried, he really did. When you texted that you were taking him to a party he was already freaked, and then he freaked more when he found out he would be the only one without the proper dress code. He looked through all of his wardrobe, twice in fact just to be sure, but all he found was nerdy video game plastered shirts and jeans. He was hoping he might have had a band t-shirt from when he had a minor emo phase in middle school, but had no luck. 

Dave settled on picking out a dark gray zip up hoodie, along with a black t-shirt and jeans, but he feels like he's under dressed when he looks over at you. You, who is wearing so many flashy chains of silver around your belt, various necklaces featuring bats and crosses, and of course your "bats nest" hairstyle (which you had to explain to Dave was supposed to look messy). In comparison, Dave looked As nerdy and lame as always. 

Yeah, Dave was going to stand out, he was sure of it. 

Seeing Dave's hesitation, after grabbing a bottle of wine out of the backseat you brought for the occasion, you approach him. Taking your hands on his shoulders, your platform boots giving you almost a similar height to Dave, you look deep into his eyes. He gazes back with those big baby blues you fell for. 

"Dave, I brought you here tonight because I think it's important that my friends meet my boyfriend, not to embarrass you or torment you." You say this slowly, knowing that the two of you haven't discussed this exactly, but that Dave has been clear in the past that he wants to date. As Dave registers what you're saying, his eyes light up. 

"B-Boyfriend?" Is all his mouth can seem to muster, he's so over the moon about it. He had asked before if you two were dating, in fact, he asked the next day after your first time together. Then, of course, you were still figuring out your feelings, and hadn't had a clear answer. Dave was so nervous to ask you again he hadn't brought it up, but of course he wanted to be with you, that much was clear. 

"Yes, Dave," You say with a small, but soft laugh, happy that he's so excited about it. "I think it's time we made it official."

"Y-yes!" Dave nods his head eagerly, still nervous he can somehow mess this up.

''I didn't know you wanted that…" He admits softly, glancing at his dirty sneakers. 

You take Dave's face in your hands, pulling his gaze back up to yours. That's something he always loved about you, your intense, yet adorable, eyes. 

"I know, I'm sorry I was being so confusing, that wasn't fair to you. But if you are okay with it, I'd like to be your girlfriend." You say with sincerity, truly apologizing for your confusing actions, as well as giving Dave the opportunity to agree on his own terms. You're not really sure when you decided all of this, but at some point in the last few weeks you realized how silly it was that you were scared to commit to Dave. Why? Because the rest of the school might use it against you? Fuck them. 

"I–" Dave is so surprised you're even asking if he would take you as his girlfriend, it's clear on his face that this is exactly what he's always wanted. "Yes! I would love it if you were my, my g-girlfriend!" 

He's so excited and energetic he can barely speak. You smile, and plant a long kiss on his soft lips, branding him with your lipstick. He can't stop himself from fluttering his dark lashes shut and leaning into the kiss, taking more than just a small peck. That's another thing he loves about you, your lips have fit perfectly in his since the first kiss, and he doesn't even mind the aftermath of your lipstick that much. In fact, sometimes he wishes he could wear it through the halls as a badge of honor, that his girlfriend was really hot and everyone else should be jealous, if that wasn't so weird. 

You two pull away from each other and you clean Dave's mouth up, and let him do the same for you, before checking in one more time. 

"You ready to go meet my friends, boyfriend." You say with a mascara laced wink, and Dave can only nod and affirm how much more excited he is for this now. 

You take Dave's hand in yours, the two of you both sporting black nail polish since Dave had asked you to paint them so he would fit in better tonight. You're sure that he will fit in just fine, and feel excited to show him off to your closest friends. You walk the path down to the backyard.

✧

Just as you thought, after introductions to your fellow fiends of the night, and a few glasses of sweet red wine, Dave fit in just fine. Sure, he was still nervous to start, but as he sits on a log next to you by the fire, telling jokes with a bit of liquid courage from the bottle you brought, he is obviously accepted into the group. 

You look around at the people you call friends, some having been from the alt clique at your old school, some you met online and decided to meet up with. That was the cool thing about living in a place like New York, even if you felt like you were the only goth at your school right now, there were people like you hiding in different places of darkness around the city, if one knew where to look. That truly was a blessing of a big town, you aren't sure how your longer distance MySpace and Skype friends did it in their little towns. Not to mention, if you weren't here, you wouldn't have met Dave. 

You look back over to him, the chilly night air reddening his cheeks and nose, the fire illuminating his face, reflecting the joy he put out as he is telling the punchline to some joke you've already heard before. You really are grateful for him. You may have spent a lot of time dreaming of a prince of darkness to steal you away when you were younger, particularly a Ville Valo type, but there was just something about Dave that clicked. He was so different, from you, from other guys you've dated, the other goth ones. He was sincere, kind, and truthful, which was harder to find than you would think. He was just so real. 

You found a blush and a heat rising inside you that wasn't from the bonfire so near, and it wasn't from the cheap wine either. No, you may very well love Dave Lizewski. And right now that thought didn't scare you like it often did in the past. You didn't even feel a pressure to tell him, as his beautiful blue eyes look at you after a particularly hard laugh with the rest of the group, you think maybe you both know, without saying. And that was enough for you, for now. 

You and Dave laugh the night away with your friends. You feel young, in love, free from worry. And it isn't until the fire dies down, a few friends retiring to the house for the night, that you find a different fire  inside of you. As the last of your friends ride out the night on burning embers and half done cigarettes, you find Dave's eyes once more with a look he couldn't mistake. His face heats up, and he waits for you to make the move while the stragglers kiss under the moon, sliding in each other's laps. You, however, prefer more seclusion. You stand, waving goodnight to your friends, and pull Dave along with you. 

Moths dance and entwine with one another, fluttering and kissing overhead. You find your way to the back seat of your car with ease, kisses and hands everywhere before, the sensations between you and Dave practically teleporting you there. Before you know it, you're pulling Dave's pants down, and Dave is struggling to get your bra off while moaning your name. 

Despite being more comfortable with you after starting this routine between both your bodies, Dave is always still a bit nervous. He loves pleasing you so much, and he wants to make sure he does it right. Soon enough he's taking over, laying you down on the old leather of your backseat. He has your breasts in his hands and mouth, his touch flicking and sucking in ways that drive you mad. You can't help but moan out, pulling him closer, wanting more, more. You feel so sensitive in his touch, so sweet under his big hands that explore and expose your body. The coldness of the fall night on your exposed flesh only adds to the experience, making you search for Dave's warmth. 

He provides, his body covering yours and his hands moving down to your panties, slipping in with ease, as if to welcome him home. You arch when he plays with your pussy, your clit already aching and sensitive. You moan into his kisses, and he gets more and more excited as you tell him how much you want him. His cock bulges in his boxers, rubbing against your stomach, filling you with want. 

You have to practically beg him to take you, he has been getting bold about experimenting with how much he can tease you lately. It isn't until you're biting into his neck, demanding he fuck you into these seats, that he decides not to push his luck any farther. 

Dave spreads your legs for you, strong and serious, which is so unlike him, but it turns you on when he takes control like this. He is wearing your black lipstick once again as he takes his cock out, the size always surprising you. You can't believe a nerd like him is so thick, not to mention a length no girl would scoff at. 

Dave smirks down at you as you admire the sight of his cock in the low moonlight, and he makes the mistake of teasing you again by rubbing his cock through your wetness, but not entering. That's not enough for you, you feel wild with need, practically growling when he attempts this. 

"That's it…" You give the small warning, but Dave is still surprised when you agily flip the script, moving so that you are now on top of him. He looks up at you, breathless, a small smile as if this was his plan all along. 

"Took you long enough…" He gets out before your lips are crashing against his once again. 

Your hips move, searching for his cock as you straddle him. His hands move to show you where, but you're so fed up with him that you pin him to the seat. He whimpers, his moans showing you how much he likes when you dominate him. 

"I'm going to fuck your brains out for making me what, Dave Lizewski…" You breathe into his mouth as your kiss separates. Dave can only nod, his eyes showing how much he wants this, his glasses crooked. 

You find his cock finally, moving your pussy over it, now teasing him. He groans out, obviously full of the same want as you. 

"Please…I need you…" Dave says through quick breaths. 

"Oh, so now you don't like teasing?" You speak into his neck with a smirk as you bite and tease like he likes. Dave tries to move his hips, attempts to find where he can fill you up, but you just tighten your grip on his wrists. 

"I'll take your cock when I'm good and ready…" You whisper so sweetly, but Dave can only cry out, it's clear he wants you desperately. 

You continue on eventually even reaching a black nailed hand down to hold his cock hostage, only giving it attention when Dave is begging you. You wait until you can see his desperation reach its peak before lining  his cock up and plunging down. You moan out from how full you suddenly are, your pussy welcoming his cock fully. Dave struggles against your hands holding him down, and you loosen your grip a bit as you begin enjoying yourself on top of his cock. 

That's all it takes before his hands are free, grabbing your hips like that's all he can hold on to, and lifting along with you to deepen his thrusts. He may very well be beneath you right now, but it's almost all him controlling your body now. You don't mind, it feels good to have his cock so deep inside you once more. You place your hands squarely on his chest, taking each thrust in stride, his name placed on your tongue like honey, dripping off it when Dave hits the spots inside of you that drive you wild. You're so caught up in it all, you don't notice Dave speaking for a second. 

"Please…" He mutters out in a breath of want. "I want to watch you touch yourself…" 

You grin when you finally get what he wants. Dave loves when you use his cock up for your own pleasure, and tonight you are more than happy to oblige. You lean up, and Dave steadies you, his arms so much stronger than you would have thought. You reach down between your legs where Dave is plunging his cock deeper and deeper, and find your clit, wet and slippery from how much you are enjoying this. 

You begin to play with yourself, moaning out, giving Dave a show. The small car rocks from how much Dave is pumping into you now, and you feel so close already. The windows and Dave's glasses fog up from the heavy breathing you're both doing, and Dave reaches quickly to toss his glasses to the car floor, uncaring about them, just having the need to see you right now. His big blue eyes look up at you with pure pleasure while he works your body on top of his increasingly hard cock. As you get tighter and tighter around him, you begin to feel him shudder beneath you, so close, practically leaking out already. 

"F-fuck…" Dave whispers, trying to hold himself back. "I'm about to cum…" 

He seems to be trying so hard to let you go first, and the way he looks so needy for you to do so begins to push you over the edge. You feel yourself begin to tighten harder than ever, Dave struggling to even fuck you as hard from how tight you are. You grab onto his arm with one hand, his hips still thrusting away as best they can, as you moan out his name and finally give Dave what he wants by finishing on his cock. It takes no time for him to follow you, spilling into your pussy as deep as possible. Dave closes his eyes and throws his head back as he fills you up more and more, the evidence sliding down his cock and onto your thighs. 

Finally, you sit there breathlessly, unmoving as his cock twitches inside of you. You fall forward and lay on his sweaty, cool chest. Dave is obviously as tired as you, but wraps his arms around you firmly, holding you in place as if he's afraid to lose you. 

You two remain this way for a while, just enjoying the sounds of each other's breathing and heart beats, the slowing of such coming moment by moment. You reach up lazily and pet your way into Dave's dark curls, and Dave mumbles asking if you liked it, like he always does. 

"Of course I did…" you mumble back. "I loved it even…" 

It's a start, you know you're not ready yet to give your whole heart to him, to say 'I love you' in its final form. You hope Dave understands, and by the way he reciprocates after, you think he does. 

Eventually the two of you gently unravel, cleaning up and redressing, before heading back to the house for a spot to crash for the night. You are happy for such a lovely night, and Dave is actually excited that his first ever 'real' party was a success. You two find a spare room in the old house and barely get under the covers before you're sleeping on Dave's chest once more, peaceful.

Taglist:@lazyneonrabbitt @nikistan @remuslupinsno1slut @haha-im-dumb @shakedogshake @beep-boop-baby @aesniri @pinkyyy666 @lpeanut-butterl @shrekscrustybudassy @lookatmelookatme @dreary-salem @almostjollypizza @boo8008 @arabellacrybaby @imaslutforcuddles @yasugardaddieshouse @real-sharena-h @stilloverthinking

If any of you would like to be taken off just message me directly! No hard feelings! Or if you have preferences such as fluff only/smut only etc etc.

[brandogenius]

Mmmmm what about, headcannons on your interpretations on the different ways that the boys would ask you out/ you would ask the boys out?

Other thoughts:

I think that regardless of what she did, julien would say “ Can I be your girlfriend?” ( Idk why it gets me all melted and shit, probably cuz we’re used to “ will you be my girlfriend”)

Imagining Pheobe who’s the friend that would spam your comment section after you post something ( barking like a dog frfr)

And one time she replied to another commenter who went “one chance🙏🏽” and she replied “she’s mine, can you fight?” or something and y’all were in the same room. You looked up from your phone and went “ I’m yours huh?”

Pheobe: ” yep”

You: “Okay then”

Then you replied to her comment “ hers❤️ I would still recommend you know how to fight though.”

LUCY I imagine she sat you down at her house. Maybe she’d set up a backyard movie. Reasoning being to play an unreleased song. You didn’t know why she was so nervous, she pulled out her laptop and a projector started playing a video with the song in the back onto the wall from the projector. At first it seemed like a song about yalls friendship.

As the montage went on with the pictures and videos, and the song got more personal, you realized that, this was a confession?

Then at the end of the song, there was a voice snippet of lucy talking, saying how she was grateful that she met you and how she’s so glad you’re in her life. Then she mentioned the first time she starting feeling differently towards you compared to anyone else, and how nervous you made her. Then at the end she pops the big question.

-🐹

OOOOOO!!!

‼️RPF‼️

HC - the boys & reader - asking you out

[Phoebe]

phoebe would be the type of person just like you said ^^ you’d post cute photos of yourself and phoebe would be your number one hype dude in the comments “BEAUTIFUL” like that lady gaga meme “AMAZING TALENTED BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS”

the two of you would go off to this nice little beach and take some photos but you see phoebes story just as she posts something and it’s a photo of the beach but you’re in the background and she has a heart on it. “that’s cute” you showing phoebe her story, liking it. “nah. you’re cuter” this has you lifting your head, phoebe grinning at you. “am i now? say, it is kinda late huh? what about we get some dinner? me and you” you kinda were hoping she’d understand where you’re coming from.

“yeah? like a date?” she’s smirking and you nod your head, not being able to get a word out before she’s grabbing your hand and dragging you to the nearest restaurant”

[lucy]

lucy is the type to be like play flirting with you ALL THE TIME same like phoebe but mostly irl if it makes sense? two of you could be cuddling together bickering like an old married couple. phoebe gagging in the corner like “get a fucking room” the two of you just cuddled on the couch, hands twirling some strands in your hair. lucy taking fake offensive to phoebes comment like “damn. you really are being homophobic right now - you hearing this shit?” and she looks at you and you’re nodding your head like “i can’t believe this shit”

she’s like “i can’t believe you’re being mean to me and my girlfriend” and it has everyone raising an eyebrow like 🤨🤨🤨 and she’s like “i mean - uh “ and turning to you and you’re there like “take me out to dinner first sweetheart then we’ll go further” and she’s like “say no more. tomorrow 6pm”

[Julien]

jb would be waiting for the perfect moment. to she’s been preparing ALL WEEK. getting hype from the boys “you can do it! you can do it!!” i like to imagine you work in a flower shop🤭🤭 so she walks in one day looking at the flowers trying to hype herself up to talk to you. not even realising you’re watching her with that small smile on your face.

“you looking for anything in particular?” this kinda startles her so she grabs the first bouquet she finds and hands them to you like “yup yup wanna buy these” and you’re laughing to yourself like “these are the display flowers. are you sure you were looking for these?” and she’s cringing at herself like shit fuck shit- “would you like to grab a coffee with me? maybe now- or later after your shift if you’re free- because if not that’s totally fine” but you’re stood there like :o and juliens there like inner monologue is spongebob screaming in that office as it goes up in flames.

“i’d love to” you say “i actually finish now so it’s perfect timing”

[studiouslatrans]

I think I've figured out what my most prominent theriotype could be??? Long ass post so cutoff for convenience but I am always interested in hearing others experiences and perspectives when it comes to this.

Since learning about therianthropy I've been questioning some kind of canine. For a while I thought it could be a coyote (which is still not entirely off the table, more on that later), but now after months of mulling it over I believe myself to be some sort of livestock guardian or herding dog; a farm dog! It makes a lot of sense to me and feels like a very comfortable label. I've been able to "see" myself more as I've been practicing meditation and focusing on finding my theriotype(s), and I feel phantom shifts for paws, fangs, even fur much stronger now since learning more about farm dogs and their traits. I'd never really been into dogs like I like cats so a lot of the information I'm learning about dog breeds is very new, BUT I am somewhat considering the possibility of specifically being an Australian Shepherd or koolie (or a mix thereof). I've been using a lot of guided meditations for focus and introspection and they've honestly really helped me learn visualization of my wants and needs when it comes to my identity.

But let me just say I have never experienced this before. I literally have no idea how to explain it.

I don't really consider myself a religious or spiritual person, and I'd have no idea where to start if I was interested in researching spiritual therianthropy. But as I continue to learn more about myself and alterhumanity, I am starting to consider the possibility of there being something more than only the psychological component to it for myself.

I don't think that I am ONLY a farm dog either, and I am still learning more about my other possible nonhuman identities. I'm super interested in learning about the experiences of spiritual therians so if anyone has anything they'd like to share (something about your journey to your identity as a spiritual therian, how your therianthropy relates to your spirituality, etc) I'd love to hear it.

For now though I am just SUPER excited about finally feeling like I've figured something out and I am super grateful to have found spaces like this and others like me :)

anyways this is probably the closest to what I see myself as :3

okay thank u for reading this long ass post <3

[marmolady]

Grandchildren: Beatriz

Summary: Endless Ending timeline. Middle-aged Taylor and Estela are entering a new phase of their life together, welcoming their grandchildren into the family. In four parts; this is PART THREE.

Word Count: 3496

Tagging: @saivilo, @edgydepressedchoicesthot, @sceptilemasterr, ​@mauvecatfic @rhemenway888

Thanks for reading!

__________________________

2060

Taylor placed down a plate of cookies on the coffee table, and sat alongside her heavily pregnant daughter.

“I know it sucks for you to not be able to fix everything,” Liv said, looking up to her mother with a grateful smile, “but don’t think your tending to my cravings isn’t appreciated.”

Liv was some seven months along, her belly huge and rounded. Heavy bags under her eyes gave away her lack of sleep, the worrying that had kept her awake long into the night. Her unborn baby, a daughter, had long passed the danger period where a miscarriage was a high risk, but she would not truly relax before the infant was in her arms. After all, the last time… the baby had been four months along, she should have been okay…. Most days Liv felt she was barely functioning, even with all the support her family, and Jeimy, could offer.

“I’ve felt so awful,” Liv admitted. “I let the blonde fade out… I’m sorry.”

“What do you mean--?” Then Taylor realised. The blonde streak Liv had always dyed into her hair… making the point of having at least a bit of her look like the mom she had no biological link to. “God, Livi, you don’t have to keep doing your hair a certain way to prove our relationship to me!”

Liv winced. “See, I know that logically, but it’s not about logic, it’s about feeling. It’s been since I was so little, it feels like I’m throwing something away… something important.” She sniffed and looked away, lost in a dark place. Was there anyone she didn’t feel she’d let down?

“You’re carrying a lot, sweetheart. Let that one go.” She tenderly stroked her daughter’s short hair. “If it makes you happy, keep in the blonde, but do it for you, not out of any fear of hurting me. I’m secure in myself, and in my role as your mom… so take that load off, all right?”

“I’m just… finding it hard. Harder than I expected, which is stupid, I should’ve known I wasn’t ready for this….”

Taylor kept stroking her fingers through Liv’s hair. There was nothing she could say that would take away the fear, or the grief that still lingered.

“Some people believe,” she said quietly, “that the soul doesn’t fully attach itself to the body until the moment of birth. If the baby’s born sleeping, the soul waits for another little life. I don’t know if it might help… to imagine a piece of Avis might be with you and Beatriz now.”

Liv’s eyes grew wide and watery. “I want her with us,” she whispered. “More than anything.” She sniffed and wiped her eyes. “I feel… I feel guilty sometimes even just for being excited about Bea coming. And I feel guilty that I’ve got this far carrying Bea when Jeimy had to go through that loss….”

“Sweetheart,” Taylor said, clutching her daughter’s hand. “You both went through it. It’s different, but your grief is real. Jeimy loves you, and they love Bea.”

Liv wept and snuggled into her mom’s shoulder, taking comfort there until her tears slowed.

“Mom… there’s something else. I need to check you’re okay with something….”

“I’m listening.”

“Well,” Liv wiped her face, righting herself a little, so she could look her mother in the face and read her. “We’d really like to use ‘Estela’ as Bea’s middle name.”

“Beatriz Estela Montoya? That’s pretty. That’s really pretty, swetheart. You were worried I’d be hurt?”

“I know we named Andi after you, but ‘Andromeda’ isn’t your actual name….”

Taylor laughed, and kissed Liv’s head. “Is this to get out of naming a dog ‘Draco’? You silly goose, didn’t I just tell you I’m secure in what we’ve got? Bea’s name is beautiful.”

Liv breathed a little sigh of relief. “Thanks-- we really like it.”

“She’s going to be really touched.” Taylor stroked the side of Liv’s face, adoring her. She could be a worrywart, her girl, but with what life had thrown at her in recent years, Taylor couldn’t blame her. Through it all, Liv was strong and kind, giving more of herself than she probably should, but somehow retaining her joie-de-vivre, her sparkle, dulled though it was on the darkest of days. “I love you, Livi,” she said. “I love you so much.”

And she hugged her, willing herself to somehow lend strength and courage where her daughter needed it-- if only it were that simple.

“It’s going to be okay.”

_________________________

It was pointless to keep checking her phone-- the message and ring tones had been set to blaringly loud so nothing could possibly be missed-- but that didn’t stop Taylor.

“Who you talking to, Grandma?” Andi asked, peering over Taylor’s shoulder.

Taylor hastily put it beside her on the floor. “No one, no one! Promise.”

Young Sol belly-crawled along the rug towards his grandma, then put himself in her lap.

“Hey, kiddo-- don’t worry, you’ve got my attention.”

“How many hours does it take for a baby to be born? They’ve been at the hospital all day!”

“Well, it depends. Sometimes, a baby will be in a big hurry to get out and it can happen in a couple of hours. Sometimes… it could even be a couple of days.”

“Days!” the two kids said in unison. It always tickled both Taylor and Estela that the two had an almost twin-like connection, their births only two days apart and inseparable since. Andi had often said ‘we basically are twins’ and no one could convince her otherwise.

How would another child fit into this dynamic? From the early days, Andi had been fascinated by her unborn sibling, talking about her constantly, while Sol barely seemed to register that a mammoth change was afoot. Until now, with his mom and nanay in the hospital, and not coming back until they had a baby to bring home.

“But,” Taylor added quickly, “last time your mom had a baby it was only five hours after she got to the hospital that Andi was born, and usually it’s faster once the mom’s already had a baby.”

“So, baby Bea could be being born right now?” Andi asked, reaching for her grandma’s phone. “And then they’ll ring and tell us?”

“She could be. And yes, they will. We’re just going to have to be patient.”

Andi huffed out a frustrated exhale. “Being patient is so hard! I wish we knew what was happening.”

“I know, mija,” Estela said as she came into the room with a plate of cocadas-- just how her mom used to make them. “Trust me, we’re all going a little crazy waiting for news. It’s just something we’ve gotta deal with.”

A tasty treat easily placated the easy-going Sol, who hummed to himself as he chewed, still sat in Taylor’s lap. Andi, though, wolfed hers down in what felt like seconds, and went straight back to asking after her mom and nanay. It was a challenge and a half, Taylor had to admit, to entertain two five-year-olds when one was completely incapable of thinking about anything other than the imminent arrival themselves.

Estela gave her wife a look. An understanding, ‘it’s driving me crazy too’ look. An ‘I’m with you’ look.

“Solito,” Estela said, determined to be distracted from worrying, and to have the kids distracted from worrying, “go and grab some paper and pens-- we can make some ‘welcome home’ posters for baby Bea-- good practice for your writing.”

Sol jumped up immediately, almost clocking his grandma in the chin as he got to his feet as was his enthusiasm. Reading and writing was a new skill, and one he was mighty proud of. He ran off, and as was typical, Andi was not far behind him.

It was hard not to be brought back to the kids’ mom learning to read and write. Liv had started a bit earlier, keen as she’d been to keep up with the older Reggie-- with whom she was inseperable. Liv would forever play with her alphabet fridge magnets; she took them with her from La Huerta, to San Trobida, to the States. Estela didn’t have any regrets about that rather fast-changing period in her daughter’s life… they’d given what stability they could, but it had never been possible to have a single true ‘home’. For these kids, though, home was San Trobida, a vastly different place to that the young Liv had known, and for Estela, it was barely recognisable as the war-torn country she grew up in. For baby Beatriz as well, the civil war and the horrors that came with it would just be a story told by her abuela, and a history lesson as she went through her schooling, as distant and irrelevent as the 2020 pandemic and dial-up internet.

Good for her.

Then Estela perched herself on the edge of the couch, only half-relaxing, for she could need to spring to action at a moment’s notice.

As if it had been waiting for the kids to leave the room, Estela’s phone rang, and she was up on her feet in an instant.

“Jeimy?” she asked too loudly. You’re gonna have to calm down…. She put the phone on speaker, though Taylor was right up by her ear so it probably wasn’t even necessary.

“She’s here-- they’re both doing great!” Jeimy cried down the phone, almost garbled in their excitement.

“The baby’s here? The baby--” Of course, the baby. Estela just laughed as relief and flooded her body. “Congratulations, Lorito,” she managed to get out. “Oh my god….”

“Pretty much what I said!” Jeimy laughed, ecstatic. “Beatriz is here, and she’s just divine.”

“Oh, Jeimy,” Taylor said, “you know it’s torture I can’t send you a hug down the phone, right?”

But even with the distance she could feel the happiness that radiated forth, and knew the same would be received. Then, the inevitable happened, and Taylor had to contend with tears streaming down her face. Her baby’s baby was here-- there was no way she wasn’t crying.

“H-how was it? Quicker than last time at least.”

“Everything went smoothly; I almost can’t believe it. It’s like… it’s like all the tension’s gone now… the scariest part is over. Liv’s feeling a bit wrecked for talking right now, but she’s happy. So, so happy.”

“Can we… can we tell the kids?”

Jeimy laughed, giddy. “Yeah, go ahead! We’ll get you to bring them down to the hospital soon-- we can’t wait to see them, just want to make sure Livi rests a little first.”

“Just… enjoy the peace and quiet with your little baby, okay?”

“And kisses for everyone from us, all right, mijo?”

“I’ll see to it-- I’ll see to it. You’ll give the kids a big squeeze from us as well! Love you-- love you-- bye!”

Estela hung up the phone and squealed, pulling a laughing Taylor into her arms for the tightest of hugs.

“We’ve got another granddaughter!” Taylor wept.

________________________

Liv’s eyelids were heavy as she watched the babe’s chest rise and fall. Their little Beatriz had made it earthside. There was no doubt in Liv’s mind; there would be no more babies for her and Jeimy. She couldn’t handle the rollercoaster. It would be her, and Jeimy, and Andi and Sol, and Beatriz… and that was all she’d ever need.

Safe and swaddled in her crib, an arm’s reach away from her exhausted mother, Beatriz had drifted off easily. Even bruised and swollen from the delivery, there was so much character in her little face.

“She looks like Sol did,” Liv whispered. “Not quite as much hair.”

At Liv’s other side, Jeimy was serene, sat up against their pillow. “I feel like I’ve been holding my breath for nine months,” they admitted. “It’s nice to breathe again.”

“I know the feeling,” Liv said. “At this point I’ll welcome the sleepless nights with open arms-- I’m just so relieved to have her here.”

Jeimy scooched closer and stroked Liv’s face. “How are you feeling? Physically, I mean.”

Liv looked up at them with a loving smile. “Very sore, very tired.”

Worth it, she thought, and she turned back to once again admire the little life she’d brought into the world. Oh my god, you are worth it.

____________________________

“Surely, no parent of a newborn in history has ever thought ‘oh, let’s have a party-- I could use some further disruption of my sleep patterns!” Aleister proclaimed. “And yet,” he added, “here we are.”

“I think ‘party’ is a strong word,” Taylor said. “Just a little get-together; good company, barbecue, and some fruit punch.”

Jeimy came over and hugged their uncle-in-law, welcoming him into the backyard, set up with lights and tables. “We’re not completely crazy; doing this at home means Liv and I can bolt upstairs with the baby and hide away at the drop of a hat. And if anyone was gonna disturb us, Mama ‘Stel would sort them out. Besides-- we’re not entertaining or anything, hence having everyone bring a plate and do their own dishes. Surrounding ourselves with love, but with as little of the hassle as possible.”

Aleister chuckled. “I can’t say I don’t still think you’re quite mad but… I see some of the appeal.”

Jeimy met his eye. “It means a lot Reggie coming home for us. I can’t say how much Liv’s missed him.”

“However all-singing-and-dancing the technology may get, it’s never the same as in person, is it? I hope it does Liv good,” he said sincerely. Aleister had been close to Liv all her life, for she and his own child Reggie had been something of a dynamic duo since before either could remember. She was his niece and he loved her, and through her mental health struggles he’d wished he could do more. It had been easier to be there for Estela, knowing that his support had helped her to be there for Liv. Reggie, he knew, was the healing balm that old Uncle Al could never be.

Thankfully, in the minds of the two parents of the new baby, the gathering had been able to be kept small and quiet-- certainly by the standards set by their ever-growing extended family. Naturally, Estela and Taylor were there, and Rosa with toddler Leo. Diego had made the trip from La Huerta a week prior, an additional support for Liv and Jeimy. Sean and Jake’s son Michael, proud donor uncle to baby Beatriz, as well as Liv’s older two children and Rosa’s unborn baby, was along for the fun; he’d taken up position as Chief of Fun and was keeping Andi and Sol out from their exhausted parents’ feet. His fiance and Michelle and Quinn’s youngest, Conor, was there to offer him assistance with the kids. Reggie was the guest of honour, the reason this whole thing was even happening-- and his sisters with their respective families, and Aleister and Grace rounded out the guestlist.

The back door swung open.

“Here she is!” Liv cried, stepping out with, cradled in her arms, a tiny bundle of baby in a puffy floral dress and a great big bow.

Michael turned to Jeimy and laughed. “What happened to the ‘gender neutral’ thing you were doing?”

“Hey. Flowers are for any and all genders.” Jeimy rolled their eyes teasingly. “Anyway, we gave up with the unisex name-- Spanish names are so damn gendered-- so thought ‘screw it, just put her in dresses if we like them’.”

“She looks cute,” Michael said, “but she’s gonna have to grow into that bow.” He held out his arms. “Cuddle with Uncle Michael?”

Liv chuckled, and carefully passed over the baby. As little Beatriz was placed in his arms, Michael absolutely beamed. There was no doubt he’d be as besotted over this kid as he was Andi and Sol.

“Damn, she’s cute!” he exclaimed. “You people are making me want a baby so bad. I’m pretty lucky to be a ‘donor uncle’ in the meantime, hey?”

“And we really appreciate it,” Liv was quick to say. Michael had basically given her the family she loved so much, and there were simply no words for what that meant. What was more, he’d given Liv’s Mama Taylor a genetic tie to her grandchildren-- a sort of link she’d once only dreamed of. Their family was unconventional, but in Liv’s eyes, it was all the more wonderful for what had been overcome to bring them to this moment, together. “It’s gonna be a pretty good excuse to get out to La Huerta regularly once Rosa’s bub’s here. We may have to tag along now and then-- I’m not having you usurp my position as ��coolest visiting relative’.”

“I hate to break it to you, Liv,” Michael said, shaking his head in feigned sorrow, “but Jeimy sings, plays guitar, and has a talking parrot. You’ve never had the top spot to begin with.”

“Dude-- I can take my baby back---”

“Geez, touchy much! At least I know when I’m beat.”

“Just enjoy that cuddle, I’m pretty sure madam’s gonna be in high demand this evening.”

Content that her baby was in good hands, Liv felt comfortable enough to move a few feet away to check up on her older two. They’d blown her away with how they’d taken the new arrival in their stride; Sol was easy-going as usual, but Andi she’d been more concerned about, demanding as she was for fun and attention that simply was not in as high supply these days. But Andi doted on her baby sister, and was forever clamouring to be involved and help out. Now, the twosome had apparently roped Uncle Conor into a game of horsey-ride, with Andi was putting her newfound maternal side to use in steadying two-year-old Leonel with her hand as he had his turn, and Sol ripping up handfuls of grass to feed their new ‘pet’. Liv took an exhale and relaxed. Her little family was surrounded by love.

Then she turned, and there was the face she’d been desperately yearning to see.

“Reggie!”

“I told you, I’d be here, I’m not sure what all the fuss is abo--”

Liv flung her arms around her cousin, her best friend, and squeezed him with all her might.

“Steady on! You always have to be over-the-top about everything, don’t you,” he grumbled good-naturedly, but he kissed her the top of her head as she cried against his chest. He hugged her back, and gave a trembling exhale. “Now that I have you in person; congratulations.”

Liv came away to rub her teary eyes with the back of a hand. “I knew you were coming and everything, ‘m just a bit hormonal for this!”

She put her hands on her hips and took a few deep breaths, righting herself, then looked up at Reggie with a massive grin. He’d been with her through it all… both their spouses had been pregnant at the time, but she and Jeimy had lost their Avis, while Reggie and Mariama had brought home their healthy and bright Olivette-- named in tribute to their bond. Even struggling with parenting a newborn as well as his other two kids, Reggie had always found time for his old cousin, and it was a rare week that would pass without a call between London and San Trobida.

“How have you been?” he asked, “And don’t give me sass because I know childbirth can be godawful….”

“You really think I’d sass you?”

“Sure as bloody hell you would…. But are you doing all right? Other than obviously being touched in the head to have a blasted party of all things so soon after bringing a baby home. I just… I’d like to know you’re doing well.”

“We’re adjusting to the new normal,” she told him. “I’m adjusting… slowly but surely. And there’s grief that’s coming up, but I expected that. Mostly… I’m caught up in loving my baby girl, and so, so damn thankful that she’s here.” She grinned. It was as though she couldn’t think about her little Beatriz without doing so. “Do you wanna meet Bea? She’s having a cuddle with Uncle Michael right now.”

Reggie’s eyes lit up. “I did come all this way, I won’t not say ‘hi’. Actually, I may have promised Sammy and Ange that I send a few photographs-- it’s almost as though the need proof I’m actually here and taking meeting the new little cousin seriously.”

Liv laughed. “I’m sure we can manage that!” She took him by the elbow. “Come on-- you flew all the way from London, you get to skip the cuddle queue.”

And she took him to get acquainted with the baby, beaming as she walked him through a backyard filled with the smiling faces of the people she loved so much-- all there for her. Soon, they’d gather together, and raise a glass; to family, to good times, and to Beatriz Estela Montoya.

[throwmeabonepleaseandthankyou]

Ooh, I thought of something!

Can I get some Grillby headcanons? I'm not picky on the AU but Fell!Grillby is a looker for sure!

I feel like he's usually depicted as flirty for whatever reason? That's pretty much all I know about him though...

I don't know anything about other versions of him either but you don't have to include them if you don't feel like it!

I love that I had a whole response typed out but tumblr deleted my draft 🥰 ANYWAYS, I only have three flame boys available to drool over right now, but all three are just as a loving as the other! Also, I need names for my boys. Please, I'm open to all suggestions!

Grillby :

Even as he is the quietest of the three, he loves talking to you. Well, listening at least.

He could listen to you talk for hours. He has to listen to a certain skeleton crack jokes almost everyday of his life, at least you he can willingly listen to.

He is always grateful to see you come in just to walk behind the bar and start helping him.

His flames burn a bit brighter each time he sees you interact with the customers. Whether it's entertaining the duck lady's "translations" for him or you playing... whatever it is, with the guard dogs.

None of the boys are actually hot to the touch. They feel more like a blanket fresh out of the dryer or a stone left out in the sun.

They have to choose to be harmful, or they have to be angry enough for them to lose control.

Thankfully, Grillby doesn't get upset easily, and if he is feeling off, he goes and lays in the snow to cool himself off.

Until he gets hit with a snowball by you.

He sends the Snowdin kids on you. They're pros and you're screwed. He promised them free candy too. Be ready to treat this snowball fight like an actual war.

He actually likes to dance, liking to spin you around the restaurant after closing to the beat of whatever song the jukebox chose.

He doesn't shower, but he doesn't smell.

Well, he doesn't smell if you enjoy the scent of ash and charcoal.

Walking candle.

Fell :

Gods, what a flirt.

But not creepy flirty.

Cheesy flirty, make you squirm in your seat and force yourself not to laugh cheesy.

This Grillby is hot-headed, literally and figuratively.

It's not uncommon for him to burn whatever he's holding when Red(Sans) pisses him off with his constant taunting.

He will throw out anyone he catches flirting with you, or making suggestive looks at you. No creeps on his watch.

Each flame boy has a distinctive smell. His is those expensive cigars and lemon pepper.

While some people would like to think he would hurt his s/o, he would the most gentle with you.

You are his most prized wine glass, and he will keep you safe.

Doesn't matter if you're human or monster, he will kill his own kind to keep them away from you.

He's not too fond of kids.

Or so he says. You'll catch him giving out chocolate to the younger children and sour candies to the older ones.

He'll always deny it when you mention it.

While the OG's main drink is cider, his is hot chocolate with a twist.

He adds mint to it, giving it the spark that the monsters need to get on with their day.

He acts all tough n shit, but the second y'all are back at home and getting ready for bed, he just wants to sleep on your lap.

Big flame cat.

Outer :

If you were to put your hand in his flames, it would feel like you just stuck your hand in sugar.

I mean it, pulling your hand out, you'll have to go wash your hand from how sticky it feels.

It's not actually sticky though, and attempting to eat his flame just feels like you stuck a warhead sour candy in your mouth.

Imagine.

He smells like a vanilla candle that has been burned recently.

He gives out a special recipe drink that only he knows how to make. Not even you know how to.

No one has been able to replicate it either, and every time they have tried, their version was disgusting.

His flame, unlike the other two, is dense enough to be pulled back and styled like actual hair.

You fun with all of those pretty colors.

He is more physically affectionate than the others too, always having a hand on you somehow, keeping you close.

He is huge on praise, loving on you and treating you like a queen/king/royal. You are spoiled with this one, and he never says no to you.

He has the money to spare, so don't worry about the price.

[ikemenomegas]

do you have any favorite headcanons for omega kakashi? love your blog -3-

Cooking Kakashi (insert cooking mama ver kakashi icon... which is a game I would play the hell out of. I want him to like me so bad...)

I love that Kakashi can canonically cook very well and that he likes cooking for his loved ones. Even though the first of those people are no longer here, it brings him a lot of peace to cook for his Alpha.

He likes that he made something with his own two hands that contributes to the joy and health of his loved ones. It’s also an act of living that makes him feel more human and cooking tasty food for himself was one of the things he used to ground himself during his worst moments or when he was alone after missions (a good weapon needs to be able to at least function -> (eventually) I am a person and it's okay to enjoy things because I deserve it).

He was not originally much of an experimenter, but he learned enough about the basics that he was able to start improving upon recipes. His recipes are full of annotations because even though he's got a stellar memory, he's old enough he knows there's only so much space up there. However, half of these notes only make sense to himself. Good luck trying to replicate those dishes...

He's not much of a "collector", anti-clutter Kakashi

So his preferred method of receiving affection is not gift giving.

However, Cooking Kakashi™️ might accept a few things. Recipe books are a little hard because Kakashi has to be interested in more than just two or three things in the book. He typically prefers to decide on these himself. He likes to work through everything in the book and pick out his favorites. If you tell him you want to buy it for him though, he'll let you. A bookshop date, anyone?

The one thing he does love is the cooking supplies you buy him. High quality ceramics, one of a kind glassware, accent-like cups or bowls. If you're careful about only buying a piece here and a piece there, it doesn't build up clutter, and it becomes a nice special occasion kind of gift. Hot pot is not his most favorite meal ever but he loves the donabe you got him.

He also doesn't have a lot of spare nesting materials, but if you can talk him into letting you take him to a nesting supply shop, he'll usually buy something (because he thinks you think he needs more soft things, which makes him feel cared for but can also get overwhelming on occasion).

Overall though, quality time and some physical touch are his preferred ways of receiving affection.

Cat person who has dogs Kakashi

Kakashi shows up whenever he wants or perfectly on time, prefers only certain people and usually small gatherings or being alone (although being alone with his Person doesn't really count as company), has a lot of very, let's call them specific, habits, is incredibly particular about certain things... and is also something of a prankster.

In a way it's very funny because he's the pack leader of his ninken.

Very respectful but incredibly kinky Kakashi.

Consent is sexy and Kakashi is the sexiest because he's the kind of person who won't act without permission. He's also the kind of person who's almost too shy to even think of his Alpha in an explicit way. This isn't a purity thing. It's just a him being shy and feeling undeserving thing. Have to be careful because he's the kind of sub to say "you can do anything to me, I don't mind" and mean it, and part of a long term relationship with Kakashi is teaching him about his own boundaries.

I'm a big fan "yes he does wear that many layers" Kakashi

Part of it is a feeling of security. But it makes me wonder if he just tends to run cold for some reason. Bundle him up in blankets and feed him soup.

The hospital is very grateful for Kakashi's mate. He tends to run away less if his mate is allowed to either stay with him while he recovering and there's a few times where he's been very happy to get discharged home earlier because Tsunade knows someone responsible and capable of getting Kakashi to sit still while he's getting better.

Lazy Kakashi

Kakashi doesn't hate being a ninja. I get the sense that he thinks ninja are necessary in the world, and he's seen both the good and bad that shinobi missions can do. He doesn't hate it, but he's tired of it.

There's a difference between working hard because you have to and because you want to. I'm a huge fan of lazy Kakashi, no work Kakashi! he doesn't want to go on tiring missions anymore and he certainly didn't love being hokage! don't make him! Let him stay at home every day and do whatever he wants to do, let him spend all day in bed with you and a book and his puppies if he wants!

That said, he's been a shinobi so long, he would miss the athleticism if he ever had to leave, he likes being skilled. That's why he goes back to doing non-combat and teaching jobs after retiring. But he leaves plenty of space for well earned leisure time.

Hobby Husband Kakashi

He's used to having somewhat structured time, so sometimes he has trouble picking something to do on his day off. After the war, he also has to figure out how to fill additional hours since he doesn't stare at the memorial stone all the time.

He actually does like to just try new things. He's the type who naturally ends up pretty good at almost everything he tries though so there's not much he pursues more than one or two times. Once he settles in with his mate, he likes to do things with you. It's more fun and fulfilling than doing activities alone. His favorite hobby is reading though. Reading usually gives him an idea of what he might want to try next.

[jewish-microwave-laser]

Idk if this is appropriate (I hope it is) but I just need to get something off of my chest? It's about the whole incontinence thing.

I'm in my mid 20s, in generally good health, and, on occasion, I have bladder problems. I've had more minor incidents than I can count, and have had a couple of major incidents when I was too far away from a bathroom to do anything about it.

I'm so embarrassed by it that I haven't even told my doctor. This ask is quite literally the first time I've said a word about it to anyone. I think I may be willing to talk to my doc about it now, so I just wanted to say thank you.

of course ♥️♥️♥️ i've had similar instances, and i haven't told a doctor about it either. it's probably bc of my eds, and i do kegel exercises sometimes but honestly i kinda just. deal with it as it comes up

i'm grateful that my post helped you feel comfortable enough to finally put this into words. i hope you're able to find some relief, or at least that you're able to explore options to make this less stressful

tho, as genuinely grateful and honored as i am that you felt welcome to reach out to me, it really fucking sucks that my oneoff post resonated with so many people. it wasn't even well articulated, but just a person saying "hey isn't it fucked up to make disabled people feel ashamed for being disabled" was so out of the norm that that post is getting a bunch of notes, which is fucked up beyond measure

anyway, i want to leave this post on a happy note, so here's my service dog, omari, being the silliest guy in existence

[id: four images of a large black labrador. the first is a picture of him in his vest, with his paws crossed, looking rather dignified. the second, he's laying on his back in his crate, his legs wide open, and his tail vertical against the back of the crate. the third is taken from a different angle, and this time his teeth are visible and makes it look like he's smiling. in the final image, he's laying in a doorframe with his neck at a 90° angle against the doorjamb. the way it looks, it cannot possibly be comfortable, and yet it's clear that he's chosen to be in this position of his own free will /end id]

[blackjackkent]

Alllllll righty, it's been a WHOLE WEEK since I was able to do any writing about Rakha's ongoing Terrible Time In The Shadow-Cursed Lands, and I have been missing my poor fucked-up girl.

How're you holding up, Rakha?

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Quick recap (for my own benefit as much as anyone else's) - Rakha has reached Moonrise and it's been kind of a clusterfuck. We did save Minthara (and surprisingly enough, Rakha actually seems to like her, much to Lae'zel's chagrin), but everything else has been sort of awful.

Wulbren, who Rakha rescued on Barcus's behalf, has turned out to be a complete toolbag,

The beast wants Rakha to destroy Isobel, and being denied that, rose up in Rakha's brain and murdered a cat in cold blood for no reason,

and most importantly:

Everyone in Moonrise Towers seems to know her, including Ketheric himself, who mocked her as a "mad dog."

Disciple Z'rell seems even less pleased to see her, and there's a strange tension to their interactions that Rakha doesn't understand.

The only one who seems pleased at the reunion is the terrifying illithid meat in the walls.

On the bright side, she can get Wyll smooches now. ^_^

We did a quick check-in at Last Light, but Rakha wants to get on the road again as soon as possible. She can almost smell Isobel's presence, and she knows that if they stay too long, it's likely she will lose control again. Her current plan is to follow the orders from Z'rell to go find Balthazar, and in so doing, find the Nightsong relic that is providing Ketheric's immortality.

But she doesn't know where that is, so that means an aimless wander through the darkness of the Shadow-Cursed Lands; she hates walking around in that corrupted magic, but it's still better than salivating over the murder of Isobel, the one person keeping it at bay.

(Translation: I want her to catch the other sidequests in this area, so we're not going straight to the Sharran mausoleum.)

One of the nice things about the party system in BG3 is that not only can I say that Rakha sent Wyll up to make a report to Isobel in her place, rather than face her directly, but I can actually do it:

"You did well to help those people escape Ketheric. Every soul saved is a blessing, and you're raining them upon us."

"I saw Ketheric at Moonrise Towers. He was presiding over a trial."

"Almost laughable, that he sees himself fit to judge anyone. Did you learn anything about how we might defeat him?"

"I think I know the source of his invulnerability - a relic called the Nightsong."

"That's incredible news. I won't ask for specifics as to how you uncovered that... but I'm grateful you've done whatever it takes. I can't believe there's an end in sight... thank you."

In Rakha's particular worldstate, this definitely reads like someone has informed Isobel of Rakha's tendency towards wanton violence and she is making a point of looking the other way. XD

Also "end in sight" feels like it's putting it a bit strongly at this stage of the game - but Wyll doesn't object. Far be it from him to take away anyone's hope in this place.

He also has the chance to ask her a few questions about herself, her history, and the shadow curse, and she basically evades and lies aggressively through her teeth through the whole conversation. Obviously, I know this but Wyll doesn't - but on some level, I think he probably picks up on some of the clues that she's not being entirely truthful. After all, he has a long history himself of evading questions about exactly what happened with Mizora and his pact.

"Moon and shadow, light and dark," Isobel says, when he asks her about the curse and about Shar and Selune's conflict. "Divine sisters ever at war. And this place has become one more battlefield. Sometimes life forces us to choose sides. Luckily... sometimes the choice is obvious."

Yes. Wyll can understand that.

[fragileizy]

idk it's like

i talked to my therapist today through mid bites of food during lunch

i talked to her about how i kinda feel like i'm slowly forming into a person that actually feels sexual kinda. dooes this make sense? sorry i'm going to treat this like a diary entry. i'll spare you the long post and shove this under a read more.

i write an absolute onslaught of porn but it's always felt kind of like something that's not for me; i'm not a participant, but rather an audience, and i'm totally disjointed from the actual experience. it doesn't pertain to me, almost as if i'm not allowed to. no one's ever said i'm not allowed to be. i guess i've just grown up this way? maybe it's the way that i was never picked by anyone growing up or considered attractive, nothing like that was ever taught to me at a young age that i'm something people look towards to. i've been told my whole life by older adults— aunts, uncles, family-friend members, general, random adults— that they find me pretty, but that's never really translated to much. at the very most, i get called a "doll". i'm not really considered attractive. or maybe i am and i just don't realize?? anyway, it's like, that's fine? or i thought it was fine. sex wasn't for me, and it never was, and i thought i was fine with that— but i'm not. i'm self conscious, i'm shy, i'm scared and timid; instead of feeling anything good whenever i've been in those situations, i feel scared. flighty. i feel like i'm doing something wrong.

lately i've been feeling really okay with myself? dare i say kind to myself? i have no idea what's changed. maybe it's the fact that i'm taking care of myself— oh, god, here we go, talking about "self-care" while actually meaning "grooming myself— hair, nails, makeup— in a way that is socially acceptable" but eh. maybe. sort of. the pink hair was almost a revolution of the self (god, poetic much?) where it really felt like i had agency for the first time in my entire life, and it felt great. it felt good.

the fact that i'm able to dress myself with the little money i have and put on clothes that i picked out for me and me alone for my work and my car actually makes me feel like i have agency. at most, i've always felt like a dog with a propeller hat at a party, and i mean this genuinely. i always feel like i'm severely in the wrong place at the wrong time at every circumstance in my life, and people find it comical and silly that i'm just walking around. maybe they find it endearing; maybe they actually look forward to seeing me because i brighten up their day— look at that, a dog with a propeller hat on, isn't that silly? how cute is this!!!— but that's still not ideal. it would be nice to feel like a person. it would be nice to feel like i'm a 26 year old adult. not a dog with a hat.

lately i've been feeling like a 26 year old adult. i've been talking and showing opinions and having crushes (even if they're fleeting, even if they're stupid, they're real, and i have them, and the impulse to want kisses and hugs and laughter and someone to cuddle next to at night makes me almost incomprehensibly impossible to deal with because i'm so annoying about it) still makes me feel so grateful. i feel like a participant in such a long time with even the idea of sex. god, what a thing to say. i'm not a voyeur in the idea of sexual attraction, i'm a— timid! cautious! scared! but willing!— participant in my own thoughts. i want to go to the beach and wear cute swimsuits. i want to be less shy about how i dress. i want to look in the mirror and continue looking at my butt and being like :O because i like the shape it makes when i move my legs a certain way. i want to be liked. i wanna find myself attractive.

idk. idk. idk. idk. idk. idk. anyway. talked to my therapist today.

[novemberthewriter]

between home & the other hard place [650 wds]

a character sketch of candida “dodie” james

genre: literary/drama (lightly-edited discovery writing for one of my WIPs, the horror/dark fantasy project ‘dagmar’. we learn a bit abt dodie: the black sheep of her family, & best friend to zeke, our protagonist)

[cw: emotional negect/abuse, implied self-harm]

–

A BIT OF THE BEFORE [for dodie]

The best thing Kendra James ever does is reupholster all the shag carpeting in the house. This makes it much easier for Dodie to wallow overnight in the corner of her bedroom.

Sometimes, if she’s got her good PacSun hoodie on (with the thumb holes and the built-in earbud drawstrings that connect to her iPod), and some fuzzy socks, she doesn’t even need to use a blanket. The nights will start with a racing mind and end in the deep, drugged-without-drugs sleep that depression causes so many people to fall into. 

Even this rare good thing from Kendra has Bad attached. Side effect of these plush-carpet-pillowed nights: as easily as racing thoughts and slumber come, so too does morning, missing the bus, incurring Kendra’s wrath for needing a ride. Dodie prays on these days for Grandma Dolly to feel well enough to drive her instead of Kendra ‘Can Never Be Late For Work’ James. Then Kendra’s schedule changes, and Dolly’s health declines, and suddenly it’s easier in these times for Dodie to call herself in sick (the attendance office at the high school always falls for her Kendra impression). 

The thing is, ever since the family split and Dad and Little Denny went off their own way, it’s actually less work for Kendra to be stuck with an ailing mother and depressed daughter instead of them two plus Dad the Manchild and Denny the Actual Rowdy Schoolboy. When Dodie’s not thinking of herself as The Big Disappointment, she is able to muster a bit of grace to speculate (privately) that Kendra’s become a nightmare because she’s feeling like a failure for not holding the family together.

Listen. Dodie’s also just tryna survive – between home, and the other hard place where hardly anyone connects with her: school.

When Dodie (having finally accepted that her first Black geek friend is not an online figment of her imagination but someone who exists in her town, in her same school) starts talking to Zeke offline, she’s surprised to learn Zeke cares nothing about her massive follow/friend count. “I have an extension to hide all that shit,” she tells Dodie.

“But can’t other people still see it?”

“Yeah, but I can’t, which is all I care about.”

Other Things Zeke Cares About:

Dodie’s nail care (Dodie will never again rock chipped black polish & chewed-up nailbeds while Zeke has an acrylic kit @ home) 

Dodie’s makeup (“You can still be all goth and spooky but let’s do it CLEAN!”)

Under Zeke's hand, Dodie sees things about herself gloss over in some areas and come together, less ABC Extreme Makeover and more like using the Photoshop sharpening tool IRL. One day, she makes the mistake of leaning into the never-before-received curious attention of alt onlookers at school – only to be met with a Greek Chorus of Jeers (Tryhard, Wannabe, Poser, White Chocolate, and so many dumbass Marilyn Manson puns involving slurs). Zeke’s not there to protect her (Dodie would never expect her to be, Zeke’s her own person, not Dodie’s guard dog), and anyway, Dodie found out the consequences of being a Black Girl Fighting Back in the white town of Dagmar early on in life. She knows that her best chance of survival in this, as with everything, is to take it on the chin. To stay grateful for the few good things she has. 

THE REALITY NOW [for zeke]

Dodie dies.

The remaining James family moves away before Zeke can process anything. Consensus among the people of Dagmar who notice is that the death was by Dodie’s own hand. And Zeke’s not saying she wholly disagrees with that (Kendra’s shitty enough that Zeke can imagine many people being driven to the edge by her), but she feels a hole like a missing puzzle piece, and the hole is what her friend left in her, but it’s also wonder – What exactly befell Dodie James? 

Who else but Zeke cares enough to find out?

[translucent-at-best]

Scatter-brained...

I can't find the post about the greatest movie deaths to reblog it, but I just want y'all to know that topping my list is Queenie the dog's death in Crooklyn. Also included is Sonny from The Godfather and Samuel L. Jackson's character in Deep Blue Sea.

Life been life-ing like a motherfucker lately. And while some of it is just happening to me through no fault of my own, there is some of it that's also just me dealing with the consequences of my actions. I'm trying to focus on the things I can control, but it's easier said than done.

Death been death-ing like crazy too. From family to friends to friends who are family... This shit don't make no sense.

I'm 33 now. I haven't had a birthday party since I was 9, but I'm planning a birthday brunch for myself next weekend and I'm excited for it. And grateful that I have people to invite and who I know will show up for me. I'm really out here with chosen family. I came out here knowing no one. I might sound like a broken record at this point, but I'll never stop thanking God for that.

Had to kick my roommate's boyfriend out of the apartment a few weeks ago. I'm still shaken up over it. She told me he's not welcome back until I say he is and I told her I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable with that again (read: I absolutely won't be). She says she understands and that that's a consequence he'll just have to live with... but I'm very aware that although she's saying that now, she may not be so understanding on a May 15th or a July 20th or... you get it. I hope I'm wrong, but if she's shown me anything thus far, it's that I can't always believe what she says.

This same boyfriend showed up unannounced at my place last Sunday night to "apologize." We talked through the call box and that was only long enough for me to say (and repeat several times) that I'm not in a place to accept an apology right now. He kept trying to convince me to talk, asking for "a minute of your time" and saying that he's really a good guy.

First off, anyone who calls themselves a "good" person, I'm wary of. I feel like that's the type of thing other people should tell me about you or that I should clearly be able to see for myself through your actions. Secondly, your solution to getting kicked out of some place is to show up to that place unannounced and try to force the person who wanted you out to accept your apology on your time and terms? Fuck all the way out of here. Thirdly, the lack of self awareness it takes to say you understand why what you did (not listening to us when we told you to leave) was wrong, but then to refuse to listen and leave AGAIN as you try to apologize is mind-boggling. Every time I think about it, I end up even more pissed.

I've been closing all my fitness circles nearly every day this month and I'm really proud of me for that. I even went and worked out on my birthday. Who is she?

The economy is a mess, the current job market is big trash, and the non-profit org I work for has fallen on hard times and informed us that there will be layoffs at the end of this school year. I'm applying and have been applying, but finding the energy to keep doing so is draining in a way I don't think I've experienced before.

And, on top of all that, my sleep schedule has been terrible. I thought it was just a side effect of my period this month, but that thing been gone for a minute and I'm still struggling.

April 13th (the day I promised myself I'd get back on a dating app) came and went. I downloaded an app. I created a profile. I consulted friends about which pictures to post and choose... but them fucking prompts? I know I'm supposed to show off my personality, sell myself, etc. I just ain't got the energy right now...

[pinkopalina]

Do you have any thoughts on Todd? Like why he spends his time terrorizing little fifteen year olds. Why Beavis and Butthead are so enamoured with him?

I typed this up and then ended up having more to say than I thought I did! so my first thought with regards to him is that Beavis and Butt-Head are both probably so used to their moms' version of love being a blend of neglect and abuse that they genuinely link that to how Todd treats them? and they find familiarity and comfort in that treatment, which is why Beavis doesn't like it when people are too nice to him, and why he's offput by Keith, for example. I don't think they look up to him in a paternal way or anything obviously but there's a lot of familiarity with Todd and his behavior already because of their families, and the boys also really admire his toxic masculinity. he's the epitome of cool. he does whatever he wants, doesn't care about anyone else's feelings, scores with lots of chicks, and gets away with everything. I think the boys admire him as much as they crush on him, and they want to BE him as much as they want him to like them in return, to validate their version of cool and to have someone as cool as Todd think they're cool too.

I think maybe they think if they were more like todd, their lives wouldn't feel as shitty. they do get away with a lot already just because other people don't seem to care, but I think Todd has an active approach to life and getting what he wants without people caring that the boys would love to someday emulate, and the only way they can express that urge with all their little teenage hormones is by crushing on him. whereas the boys just kinda do things and people passively happen not to care. they roll with the punches whereas Todd is the one who chooses when to throw them, and they want that for themselves.

now, as for Todd? it's not like he necessarily willingly spends all his free time with the boys, they tend to bother him quite honestly. but it is very skeevy how he tends to seek them out at times, simply because he knows they're vulnerable. he's probably picked up on the fact nobody cares about them so they're easy to bully and get things from and use them for stuff like their house and as punching bags. sometimes they give him money, and they don't even complain about it. he tells them to do something and they do it without question. there are no adults to kick Todd's ass if he fucks with them or fucks them up, and he's able to get a lot of his anger out on them. I imagine that cycle of power is hard to break, especially when everyone involved is unfortunately having a good time. todds toxic masculinity and Beavis and buttheads approval of it feed off each other, so that's why I think his cycle of abuse works--even though it's clearly not right.

plus he sweet talks them, and isn't always mean about it either, which doesn't help them to see Todd's bullying and abuse as what it is--they really do think (at least for a while!) that Todd wants to turn them into little versions of himself, or that Todd likes them, or that Todd sees value in them and will someday include them as part of his gang, but that they're just not there yet. when they first meet he lies and tricks them just for fun, because they see him being an asshole but then he's nice to them, so they really were hooked from the get go into thinking they had a chance.

i think later on they start to pick up on Todd not really caring for them though, like when they have that episode that says forget Todd, let's just make our own gang instead of being in his, which is so interesting considering how much they admire him. I'm not sure if it was a growth moment so much as a "Todd has been teasing the puppy dogs with an offer of treats for too long and they realize they'll never get the treat" so they just kinda give up?

that's partially why I think he hasn't really been in the new season and if he wasn't here at all I might be grateful? just because they kinda wrapped his shit up a while back--but I still kinda wanna see him! it feels like Beavis has been more open about his attraction to men lately, I wonder if being in 2022 where it's pretty normalized would change anything? he sees Todd and it sparks the LGBT conversation within their home? 🤔 he's such a key component into the boys openly showing us they can have full, romantic, teenage crushes on another guy. his role in the show is as integral as it is depressing. lol!

thank you for asking, it means a lot! sorry this got so long!