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politemenacephd · 7 months

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The Surrogate: Part II

Miguel O'Hara X Peter B. Parker X GN!Reader (+18) Part one Part Three Series Content: Planned pregnancy, Breeding kink, PinV sex, Oral sex, Threesome, Web knotting, Aftercare, Possible Angst/fluff.

Miguel and Peter want a third child, and apparently they've run out of options. That is, except for you, their friend and colleague. They offer to cover everything, and the pay is life-changing. There's just one catch: they went to concieve naturally.

Notes: Oh boy here it comes time to give the boys a baby

As you approached the HQ you were a ball of nerves.

It was finally time to go in and get started.

After a few months of planning you were ready to begin the surrogate process. The whole process had been pretty smooth overall, almost too smooth. Miguel and Peter had let you hire a family friend as your lawyer, with Miguel paying every fee, and over each month you’d made sure the contract was fair.

You had been hired to be the men’s surrogate until completion, which didn’t have a set date on it but merely ended at whichever point you gave birth and the child was handed over into their custody. They would provide for your needs and health, and you would do your best to conceive for them.

You were allowed to leave at any time, though. It’d been a little difficult working out the details of leaving, especially regarding what happened if you were pregnant and had to stop, but Miguel and Peter had remained respectful. Eventually you’d worked out a plan that compromised what needed to be compromised, and so you stepped into the next phase: the actual conception.

It was a situation you were happy with. You felt safe, and soon you’d have a ridiculous amount of income. Right now, all you had to do was one, fairly simple job: From now until whichever point you conceived, you would be having intercourse with Miguel and Peter.

Simple enough, yes, but God, just the thought of it still made you weak. As you glanced up at their apartment, their windows glowing orange against the darkened skyline, you felt a pinch of nerves.

One of the things you’d agreed, just for the sake of convenience, was for you to move into Miguel’s plush new place at the top of the HQ, alongside him and Peter. Their girls lived with them too, but for tonight at least they were being babysat by a relative, and you’d been assured they had had the situation explained to them in the most child friendly way possible.

Later on things might have to change, but for tonight it was just about working out your dynamic and ensuring everyone was comfortable, and also getting the first attempt right.

It hit you hard, the idea that you might walk away from tonight pregnant with either of their babies. You kept thinking back to Miguel’s confident smirk in the bar, assuring you it wouldn’t take long. Why had he seemed so sure, and why did you so willingly believe him?

You sucked in a sharp breath and made your way in.

Your journey took you up through multiple elevators and beams and staircases as you ascended the HQ, which gave you more time to overthink. By the time you finally reached the apart you were a ball of nerves.

‘Okay… Okay, just, relax’ you told yourself. ‘Relax. Relax. You’re good. You’re all good.’

The moment you rang the doorbell the door swung open, causing you to flinch and yelp. You were met with Peter’s flushed and gleeful face as he threw himself through the door and around your little body, pulling you into a hug.

“HI! Hi, there you are! Oh- looking wonderful, muy bien, come on in!”

Before you could even get a word in he was carrying you into the apartment. Not shepherding, not pushing, carrying. He lifted your body was ease in a bridal carry and brought you through into the open-plan living room and kitchen area, babbling the whole way.

‘Miguel was worried you’d be late- OH, don’t tell him I told you that though, he’ll freak out, but I told him you’d be early and look who was right!”

‘A-Aha, yeah, uh- Peter, please could you—’ You stumbled on your attempt to request being put down as he gently shifted your weight, jolting you in his arms like a cat.

God, he was so strong. Deceptively strong. He felt nice, too. He was warm, toned but squishy, probably nice to cuddle. Perhaps, you didn’t want to be put down *just* yet.

‘Ah- never mind. Hi, Peter’ you said with a slight laugh. ‘I wouldn’t have thought me showing up early was such a surprise, you’re paying me enough for this.’

‘NO! I mean we’re paying a lot sure but it’s all worth it! I was just—’

‘Peter. Put them down.’

That dark, husky voice filled the apartment, rendering you both speechless.

You fell to the floor and immediately spotted Miguel leaning on the kitchen island. You felt your face go warm at the sight, as your chest seemed to tense in on itself.

He was just as pretty as usual, hanging around in loose joggers and an old shirt which left little up to the imagination. You were surprised to see as he moved around the kitchen that he also clearly wasn’t wearing boxers either, because the definition and light swing of what lay underneath caused your throat to seize up.

‘Thank you for coming’ Miguel said as he approached. You nodded hard, now trying your best to look anywhere except his perfectly toned V cut abdomen as it poked out beneath his shirt. He coughed before speaking. ‘Do you, uh—’

‘It’s okay, Miguel. I know you hate small talk’ you quickly said, cutting him off. To your relief you’d read him right; he did that gorgeous little half-smile down at you, his brows raising ever so slightly.

‘Mm. Good, thank you. This is why you’re my friend, hermosa/o’ he said with a throaty chuckle, only for Peter to appear at his back. ‘OUR friend’ he whined. Miguel shot him a bombastic side eye but ended up just shrugging and chuckling again. ‘Mm. Okay. Our friend. Perdón, mi amor.’

You watched slightly stiltedly as the two men butted noses and kissed, just a small peck before parting. You realized that you’d never really seen them being affectionate around the workplace, or even out in public like at the bar, so this was a surprise.

You almost didn’t notice Miguel turning back to you until he spoke.

‘Did you take the injections?’ Miguel asked. You awkwardly nodded.

You’d been given homework to do, mostly consisting of quite painful injections to stimulate ovulation. They sucked, hard, they made you feel awful and they burned when injected, but it was an important step.

‘And you’re ovulating?’ he asked next.

You felt your face burn up again as Miguel leaned in. He took your jaw into his hand and tilted it, seemingly trying to read something in your expression. This wasn’t an unusual move for him, especially with friends when he suspected they were lying, but right now it felt so much more intense.

‘I—yes, I have the app, I did everything on the list. I took the injection, I’m ovulating, I’m in the fertility phase, it- yeah.”

Miguel grunted, slowly retracting his hand. He looked pleased. Despite trying to keep a professional air about you, you felt your legs growing weak at his subtle little smile.

‘Good. I appreciate it.’ He turned and moved over to the counter as you awkwardly stood in the middle of the living room. Peter was still watching you, his face eager. You shyly smiled back at him.

‘So, do we, uh—’

‘Are you comfortable getting right into it?’ Miguel asked, pre-empting your question. You took a moment to decide but eventually nodded. ‘Yeah. I think so, aha, we- we got all night to talk, talk, afterward…’

The way Miguel chuckled at that made your sex throb. It was so sweet, so husky, so *smug*, in a way that was so unlike him. He glanced down at you in a way that highlighted his smooth, muscular neck, his eyes slightly lidded as he smiled.

‘Interesting. You think we’ll get tired?’ he asked.

Was- was he, teasing you? You blinked and swallowed, only to find your throat dry. ‘You... You have to get tired eventually, right?’ you said with a slight laugh, hoping it was a joke. Miguel’s smile widened.

‘Huh. Interesting’ he repeated. He held your gaze until he saw your smile falter, watching that sweet realization hit you that, no, he wasn’t joking. Peter was forced to step in to elaborate instead.

‘Oh no, no, no, Miguel doesn’t get tired’ he said, pridefully slapping the larger man’s chest right over his pecs. ‘Trust me, he will exhaust you. I’ve had to skip school runs because my legs just don’t work the next day.’

You raised a brow at that. ��Ah… W- then, why are you two even taking turns?’ you asked. The two men glanced at each other. You saw them communicating silently; Miguel arched his brow and grunted, clearly implying something, as Peter raised his brows even higher and grunted back. The two turned to you in unison.

‘Miguel doesn’t get tired per se but he does get… well, empty’ Peter said, being as coy as possible. ‘He needs to re-charge, we both do, so, taking turns? Makes it easier! Plus, Miguel is…’

‘Rough’ he murmured, emphasising that word with such a husky tone. You almost collapsed.

‘Yeah! He is. Oh, you’re a kinky devil you are. I love you so much. But anyway, yes, so that’s why the switch. Hope that’s still okay’ Peter added on at the end, fixing you with an affectionate and open smile.

‘Aha, uh- yeah. Yeah, it’s all good. You guys really want that baby, huh?’ you said, your smile now slowly returning. While Miguel’s smirk turned shy Peter dramatically moaned.

‘We want it SO BAD! The girls are so BIG now, even Mayday can tie her own shoelaces, and all I wanna do is just cradle them in my arms and watch them babble nonsense and pretend to have a full conversation with them when all they can say is ‘babababa’—’

‘Peter.’ Miguel’s hand on Peter’s waist brought him to a stop. You noticed the way he subtly squeezed him. ‘We need to actually get started if you want that baby’ Miguel gently insisted.

At that Peter’s eyes turned to you again. You saw a spark in them you hadn’t seen before, and he quickly held up his hands in mock surrender. ‘Okay! Okay. Baby time. Follow me, pretty thing’ Peter crowed before promptly grabbing your hand, dragging you into the bedroom. Miguel took his time before following in.

‘Okay, so, this is your room’ Peter explained as he flicked on the lights. You were taken aback by how nice it was. The dark, hardwood polished floors with a rug in the centre, highlighting the rich white king-size bed pressed up to the wall. You whistled at the huge, underlit wardrobe doors built into the right side wall, the mirrors on the ceiling and walls, and the glass wall overlooking the beautiful city beyond. It was a glittering cascade of neon lights across a dark canvas, a sight you'd usually never get to see.

‘My room?’ you stammered.

‘Mhm! Well, it’s the guest room, but for now, your room’ Peter crowed. He seemed to be enjoying your gawking.

‘It- what does your room look like then?’ you muttered half to yourself in disbelief.

Peter gently drew you to a stop in front of the bed. When he looked you over he had a slightly mischievous smile on his face. ‘Well, you’ll find out soon enough. Don’t you worry. Miguel, ah- he sells patents for technology he makes on the side back to the city, that’s how he affords everything here. It’s how he funds the HQ.’

You blinked in surprise. How had you not known that? ‘Oh, really? Huh…’

‘And, it’s how he’s gonna fund you, my little angel’ Peter suddenly cooed, pressing one firm hand to your abdomen. He squished it gently, his free arm pulling you into a hug before letting go again. ‘Thank you, again’ he whispered, his eyes deeply sincere. ‘Thank you for doing this.’

You just nodded, a little flustered internally at the sudden affection. ‘I-It’s fine’ you replied gently. ‘It’s, all fine. Thank you for uh, giving me the opportunity? I guess?’

His mischievous smug grin grew a little wider. ‘Uhuh. The opportunity. Speaking of which, shall we get you undressed?’

You felt that warmth thudding in your lower abdomen increase alongside your heart rate. You nodded. ‘Yeah. Yeah, of course, ah—’ You paused only to watch Miguel slowly enter through the bedroom door, gently shutting it at his back. He gave you a curt nod, essentially bidding you to continue. ‘Yeah. Let’s, do that’ you finished, before gently grasping your shirt.

You struggled to remove your clothing while the two men watched. Peter tried to be polite by looking to the side and whistling but you could feel his eyes drifting back, his whistles occasionally lowering in pitch as he stared before shifting back up. Miguel, however, kept his eyes firming on you.

You were surprised, as you undressed, to see his shaft already twitching beneath his joggers. The fabric was pitching to accommodate the size, and his eyes were fixed on you, roaming without shame or concern. Was he getting off on just this? The thought made you so giddy.

The moment you were naked Peter rushed in to pick you up and carefully lay you down on the bed. ‘You doin’ okay? You still good to go?’ he asked, his brown eyes wide and gentle. His care was a comfort, with his hand brushing your forehead and his soft, brown eyes fixated on your face. You shakily nodded.

‘Yeah. Yeah, I’m- fine, I’m ready.’

‘Good! Good. Okay, big guy, you ready?’

As Miguel approached, your breath hitched. He was eyeing you up with those wolfish eyes. They were such a deep red they seemed to glow in the dim, peaceful ambiance of the bedroom. ‘Mm. I’m ready’ he replied.

He stripped his shirt aside and yanked down his joggers, carefully kicking them aside to reveal his fully naked form. You audibly squeaked. He was huge.

The suit didn’t leave much to the imagination, apparently. He was hairless spare for a soft, thin line of dark hair running up his pelvis and a scattering on his lower legs and upper arms, leaving you a good view of his body. His skin was rough, scarred, with many lines overlapping over his rippling abs and hefty chest. His waist tapered in above his slim hips before sloping out into his heavily muscled thighs, both thick and slender.

And then, of course, your eyes drifted to his pelvis. His cock was gorgeous, there was no other word to describe it. Thick, veiny, perfectly curved. You had a sudden knot of anxiety over trying to take such a thing, but the soft throbbing in your clit urged you to ignore that thought.

He must have noticed you staring as he allowed a ghost of a smirk to creep onto his face.

Miguel clambered up and knelt on the bed, with his clawed hands resting on your own upturned knees. You squeaked a little as he curiously shifted them apart, noting the sight of your spread form. You suddenly felt extremely shy to have him gawking at your spread sex so curiously.

‘Oo, he likes you’ Peter cooed, still stuck in his teasing, flirting stage.

‘W-What?’ you stammered. Miguel shot Peter daggers with his eyes, imploring him to be quiet, but Peter couldn’t be silenced. ‘He likes you. That face he makes, with the eyes. They get a little bit brighter when he sees something he likes. I notice it when I wear anything too tight, it's like a… like a cat locking onto a mouse.’

‘Peter’ Miguel hissed, his fangs now bared in a desperate attempt to claw back his professionalism and ideally his dominance. Peter just chuckled. ‘Sorry’ he whispered. ‘I’ll be quiet.’

‘Yes. You will’ Miguel grunted, before finally turning back to your spread body. Now you could see it; those wolfish red eyes, darting down and drooping slightly as he took in your body. You felt his fingers grip a little tighter around your knees, his lips parting ever so slightly. He was already hard, but you saw his member tight just a little as if he was tensing it.

‘Now… You remember the deal, with intimacy?’ he asked softly.

‘Y-Yes.’

‘You are still comfortable with the terms we agreed?’ he asked, his voice softening even more.

‘Y-Yes’ you repeated. You caught him licking his teeth as he nodded.

‘Okay. Then the same rules apply. We'll be gentle this first night, just- the basics, to get you used to it. Your preference is oral, so, I will perform that to make insertion easier. Peter will ensure you’re comfortable throughout, and I’ll use my tongue to make you orgasm and also to loosen you up. Is that okay?’ Miguel explained. You just barely remembered to nod; the grip of anticipation was squeezing your guts like a fist.

It was time to start.

Miguel gestured to Peter with his shoulder and the man nodded, with the two moving in unison to either side of your torso. Peter settled on his side with his head by your own, his hands trailing over your chest, while Miguel sank down onto his belly with his head between your legs. Your legs twitched a little as you felt his hot, lurid breath hit your spread lips.

‘Y-You guys seem, pretty confident in your technique, huh?’ you said. You were struggling not to stutter.

Miguel didn’t respond; he just shot you a glance. You nearly buckled beneath the confident grin on his face. ‘Oh, we’re- quite confident’ he promised. As his mouth vanished behind the slope of your belly and sex, Peter gently gripped you tighter.

You felt the breath. You felt his lips brushing your inner thigh. You felt his groan, his tentative lick.

You tensed so hard it hurt. Here goes.

‘Okay, gently now, gently—’

‘AH—’

You couldn’t help it; the moment that flat, wet, rough tongue hit your clit you gasped and moaned, your hips arched involuntarily to try and get closer. Almost immediately Miguel responded with a muffled moan of his own.

In seconds that quiet, friendly façade fell apart. Miguel gripped your hips in his clawed hands, his talons just barely piercing your skin, and he began licking at you ravenously while Peter groaned in your ear.

‘Oh, there we go, good little thing, well done’ Peter whispered, urging you to moan again. Miguel was grunting as he buried his tongue against your clit, lapping and circling and sucking where he could. His breath kept hitting that sensitive nerve spot in rapid pants, either in grunts from his nose or in pants from his mouth, and every time it made you buck and squirm.

‘F-Fuck, ah- o-oh my god’ you stammered breathlessly. You knew it was coming, but you hadn’t been expecting this. You lay back and practically melted as Miguel lulled you with his mouth.

‘Oh, yeah, that’s it’ Peter murmured to himself. His eyes were fixed on your spread legs as Miguel hungrily lapped at your wet folds, his glowing eyes and sharp nose the only part of him visible as the rest buried itself into the nook of your lips. He absently started to palm his own cock beside you.

‘Oh, you both look so good’ he groaned. His sweet, encouraging praise in your ear only stirred you up further. ‘Go on daddy, give ‘em some more.’

With a soft growl Miguel tipped your hips back, holding you in place as his enormous, rippled shoulders forced your legs further apart. He spread you with his fingers and began gently snaking his long tongue down inside your cunt, pumping you with a good wet inch or so until you were audibly screaming.

You could feel his satisfied grunts vibrating through to your insides as he continued to prob them, slathering you in saliva and venom until it dripped onto the sheets below.

‘Miguel- f-fuck, ah—’ Your muffled gibberish words caught Peter’s attention, who reluctantly stopped rubbing himself to that gorgeous display and instead stroked your cheek.

‘You okay, sweetheart?’ he whispered. You shakily nodded.

‘Y-Yeah, I’m- I’m, great, just- a-ah, fuck, Miguel!’

Peter’s concern turned to soft chuckling as he realized you were just unbearably overwhelmed. He leaned in and kissed your jaw, his lips brushing up towards your ear. ‘Mm, he’s good, isn’t he? The best. I know what he can do with that tongue, and he must think you taste good to get that deep. Thanks for letting him practise, you pretty little thing.’

You could barely hear Peter’s filthy mouth over the drumming of your own heartbeat.

It wasn’t long before the sweet motions of his tongue stretching you out drew you toward your climax. He’d switch between sucking your slit and stretching you out until the double stimulation tripled over in your gut, tipping you right over into orgasmic spasms, and with the smuggest eyes possible he watched you squirming on his tongue as he tasted every second of it.

Peter was quick to soothe you, but Miguel had only been emboldened. He had a job to do, and he wouldn’t stop until it was done.

You caught a glimpse of his jaw as he withdrew, shimmering with your slick like a pearly sheen. He made eye contact once, his eyes a dark and bloody red, and with your unblinking attention he wiped his face with the back of his hand only to lick it off again. You could only whimper in response.

While you panted and tried to catch your breath Miguel began slowly mounting from the front. You looked up and watched those dark, foreboding eyes peer down at you from above.

‘I will, try to be gentle’ he said. You could hear the desperation behind his soft words. The man was twitching with excitement, his veiny cock already peaking thick drops of pearly pre-cum as he approached. You could see his tongue pressed to his teeth, his lips parted so he could pant.

You hadn’t expected him to be so aroused by this. You’d expected he just wanted this for business purposes, but you were starting to realize he might just be fulfilling something more here.

He spoke, then, and fully confirmed your theory.

‘Time to get you pregnant’ he breathed, his voice husky and wet, dripping with a deep and erotic urge. Peter chuckled. The man was also biting his lip, clearly enjoying the display his partner was putting on.

‘Miguel thinks he can get you pregnant first go’ Peter whispered in your ear. Miguel shot his partner a glance and ever so slightly curled his lip.

‘That’s because I can.’

You shuddered at his confidence, as did Peter. You were both brought to your metaphorical knees beneath the intensity of those bloody red eyes. The man reeked of potency, and when he spoke, you didn’t doubt him.

With you both now silenced Miguel settled himself down, easily spreading your legs with both hands to make way for his body. He leaned in and bent your legs down with him, pushing them into a mating press. He saw the rush of adrenaline in your face, the mixture of nervous fear and excitement. His eyes softened a little.

‘You okay?’ he murmured. You nodded just a little too fast.

‘Y-Yeah. Yeah, I’m—fine.’

He nodded back. His eyes darted over you once more to ensure you weren’t too tense, too stressed, before pressing a quick kiss to Peter’s jaw. The two didn’t need to share words. Peter leaned back with his arm around your head, and Miguel in a planking position pushed down towards you.

You watched his cock approaching with bated breath. That thick, veiny rod disappeared down between your thighs, leaving you with only the sensation of his member nudging at your wet pussy. You bit your lip and braced.

With a soft grunt, Miguel started trying to enter you.

At first, he simply couldn’t. He pulsed at you a few times, smearing your cunt with pre-cum as he tried to ease your muscles aside, but he couldn’t get more than a few inches in. The size difference was just too clear.

He wasn’t angry with you. You could see him fighting his impatience for your sake. Peter was left to soothe your gabbled apologies with promises that it was fine, they had time to try, while Miguel shifted to using his fingers instead.

‘My fault, should have—done this first, hermosa/o. It’s my mistake.’

You gasped aloud as he worked his calloused index finger inside you. He pushed right up to the knuckle before brushing your g-spot, admiring the way you bucked and moaned, before switching to lightly pulsing it in and out of your cunt.

All too soon his finger was sopping. He noted the thick strings of slick accumulating on his thick digit with a sense of pride, and slowly shifted to two. You moaned again, louder this time, and seemingly unable to help himself Miguel began leaning into it. He started pulsing harder, his eyes fixed on your hips as they pathetically rocked against his hand.

‘Mm, there we go. You like that? Is that good?’ he purred. Your moans vibrated through his soul, fuelling his ego. He slowly started fisting his cock as he watched.

‘That’s it’ he whispered to himself. ‘That’s it. Ah—I’m going to breed this. I’m going to breed this. I’m going to put a baby in there, sweet thing.’

His hand was making the most obscenely wet noise at this point. The heavy clap of his wet fingers was all that covered up his lewd mantra.

‘My baby’ he grunted, almost growling. ‘My baby, plumping you up, urgh—’

He made it to three fingers before becoming too desperate to wait. He pulled out his hand and quickly let Peter lick them clean, giving his partner just a little attention as he whined and licked your juices into his mouth, before pushing your knees down and mounting again.

This time, it came easy. He pushed into you with one hard grunt and let you feel every single inch slipping up to the tightest point, only stopping once he’d fully bottomed out. You screamed.

‘Urgh- uh, fuck, argh- so tight’ he panted. He didn’t waste time on soaking in you, as with a mind that utterly fixated all he could think about now was getting you stuffed with his seed. He started to pump his hips back and forth the moment he got inside.

‘That’s it, that’s it’ Peter whispered, getting you warm and comfortable as he watched his partner's enormous form rutting between your legs. He noted your wet lips and desperate moans, ensuring that you were enjoying yourself. ‘There, does he feel good?’ he purred.

‘Y-yea—yeah—y-a-ah—’

You couldn’t even get the words out. You were almost mewling as Miguel bent your back and started arching his hips, smacking them down onto your cunt with such terrifying vigor it almost made you wince. He was grinding up inside you, pulverizing those sweet, gummy walls, slipping against every soft ridge he could find.

His lips parted and he started to grunt with each rhythmic thrust, emphasizing the harsh slap of skin on skin with his own noises. ‘Uhn- uhn- uhn, que rico- uhn-’

It took you a little getting used to, settling into the rhythm of his body and his thick cock gently stretching you out. His claws on your knees were sharp, his breath on your face so hot that you started to sweat, and the power in his body was terrifying. He had to force himself to be careful with you. Every deep plunge into your cunt, each gentle pulse, could turn into a back-breaking move if he wasn’t careful.

He eventually had to lower his hands to the bed to stop himself from clawing at your knees. You lay back and tried to focus on the sensations. The warmth of his cock moving inside you, thrusting right up into your guts until your body began to grow flush with warmth. The wet slap of his hips as you began to coat his pelvis in thick, viscous slick. The beautiful sight of his inhuman body rippling between your legs.

‘F-Fuck’ you whimpered, unable to handle anything more. ‘F-Fucckkkk…’

Peter remained at your head as Miguel pumped. He was so gentle, soothing you and petting your face as your body was jolted back and forth.

‘A-Ah—’

‘Good, that’s it. You’re doing so good’ Peter whispered.

‘I’m close’ Miguel growled. His claws began tearing the sheets apart as his thrusts tripled in strength and speed, slamming into you repeatedly until the bed began to creak beneath the force. You could hear the springs giving out, and even the wooden base sounded like it was groaning at the strain. Your hips were numb at this point from his rough pumps, but you ate it all up.

It was utterly orgasmic, the sensation of being filled and fucked so thoroughly. You lay back and moaned your assent for him to finish.

‘Así así’ he praised breathlessly as he saw you give in, his tongue slipping as he felt his body tensing up to unload. It was pure heaven, almost rapturous for him. Finally, he got to do this, fulfilling the most primal itch in his brain. He clawed the sheets to shreds as he rutted and humped to completion.

‘Mm- mm- Así así, hermosa/o, lo necesito, lo necesito- ah, ay chingada- haz que me corra—!’

With a groan that echoed through the room he felt his muscles tense and unload, his cock swelling before finally spurting those terrifyingly thick ropes into your cunt. It was thick enough for you to feel it as it squished into every inch of space, coating your insides with his imprint, all while he panted and groaned against your cheek.

You felt every pulse, every gently expanse and release, as it hit both of you in waves; he’d just cum in you, for the first time, and if he got his way you’d soon be pregnant for real.

‘Ah… a-ah, that’s it… that’s it…’

You noticed his arms shaking as he slowly rocked to a stop. You could still feel him twitching a little as he stilled, throbbing against your overstimulated walls. He glanced at you from beneath his mop of sweaty hair, and gave you a soft smile.

‘Eh, hermosa/o…. There you go. That should do it…’

As you both collapsed Peter rushed into soothing both of you. He kissed Miguel’s jaw and cheek and lips, whispering how well he did and how beautiful his baby would look, and he stroked your forehead while whispering what a good job you did.

His attentive aftercare really was wonderful, but after a few minutes of soaking to ensure his seed had taken Miguel pulled out, and Peter switched tones. After all, you weren’t done yet.

‘My turn?’

You were too busy panting to reply as Peter swapped places with Miguel. All you could do was moan.

You watched Miguel sink down to his knees at your head. He was wiping sweat from his forehead, still panting, but he used what energy he had left to continue Peter’s work. He brushed your cheek with his calloused thumb as Peter carefully eased your legs up.

‘Shh, there you go’ Miguel purred in that deep, warm voice. ‘He’ll be gentle, don’t worry.’

‘I’ll be gentle, but be aware you- may cum again’ he said with a shrug as he shifted you into place and mounted from the front. You felt the brush of his member up against your clit and quivered, something that made him eagerly bite his lip.

‘Guey, don’t get too arrogant’ Miguel grunted back. Peter leaned in hard and kissed Miguel on the mouth, even licking his fangs before withdrawing. You’d never seen him so confident.

‘If you didn’t want me to be cocky, you should have stopped telling me how good I am’ he teased, before gently and slowly easing his cock inside you. Your breath almost immediately hitched.

Peter wasn’t as rough, but he shared Miguel’s ability to roll and rock his hips in just the right way. You could feel him intelligently sliding back and forth, snapping his thrusts in just the right way to stimulate every spot he needed to.

You could still feel the dull thud of him hitting at your tightest point, like a sharp pump right up into your guts. You instinctively grabbed at his biceps for support, something he eagerly encouraged as he started to get harder.

‘That’s it’ he whispered against your forehead. ‘That’s it. You take it just like that. You like it, don’t you?’

You didn’t even reply; he didn’t need you to. He bent you back into a near circle as he got down on his knees and pumped you until you drooled, manipulating every little soft spot on your body. He knew just how to curve his cock into your sweet spots, just the right angle to pull back and start carefully bobbing his hips in place so he was carefully rubbing one point rather than pulsing back and forth.

He let you scream, let you involuntarily shake in his grip, let you stare at him in shock, all with that same dorky, confident smile.

‘Mm- I can feel you in there, big man’ he grunted, eagerly biting his filthy tongue as he pumped in and out of your cunt. He made sure to make you clench him before speaking again. ‘Mm- so warm. You did good, beautiful man. Shame I’m just- using you as lubricant to finish the job.’

Miguel audibly hissed, a seemingly involuntary motion as he quickly tried to clamp his jaw shut, but Peter seemed to relish in the display. You felt him throb hard against the walls of your cunt as he started going faster.

‘Mm- that’s it, that’s it, come on—’

You felt Miguel settle as your body was being jolted back and forth, and you caught his glowering eyes glowing a little brighter as he watched. He was fixated on the little slither of Peter’s shaft he could see pumping back and forth, utterly saturated in both your click and his cum. You caught him biting his lip as his eyes narrowed to slits.

‘Mm..’ he grumbled. ‘Yeah…’

‘Come on baby, come on, that’s it, fuck—’

With a few hard, deep thrusts Peter unloaded his own thick ropes, tenderly cupping your hips as he pulled you in against him. The dull smack of your pelvis’s colliding filled the room alongside your frantic moans.

It was there, right in the middle of Peter’s orgasm, that he fulfilled his promise. He shifted his thumb to your clit and gave the swollen, sensitive nub a few gentle prods, all while deliberately creaming around your g-spot, and with a shudder you groaned into your second orgasm.

‘Yeah, that’s it, oh- well done’ he praised, still breathlessly thrusting. ‘Go on, that’s it, draw it all up. Good, good, well done, baby, well done. So proud of you.’

He let you whimper and spasm around his cock until your body went limp, and after soaking in you for another few minutes he pulled out and collapsed next to Miguel. The sound of your overlapping panting filled the otherwise silent apartment.

‘Good job’ Peter repeated after catching his breath, giving a slightly shaky thumb up. ‘Good everyone.’

‘Peter please shut up’ Miguel replied.

You got a good half an hour of rest, just lying in a sweaty, exhausted pile together as the city soundscape filled the silence.

You used the time to contemplate your position. So, this was it. You’d done it. From this point on, you could very well get pregnant.

You were still in a bit of a daze over how good it was. You knew they were attractive, you knew they were charming and charismatic and endearing, but this? You felt like your soul had been dislodged by one too many hard thrusts. You could still feel the imprint of both men’s shafts, the ghost of their throbbing members against your cervix.

With a sigh you let your eyes drift shut. Perhaps this would be a far more enjoyable experience than you expected.

You felt rather than saw Miguel moving. You thought perhaps he was getting water again, but you were surprised to feel his huge, clawed hands splitting your legs apart again. Your eyes shot up.

That dark smirk filled your gaze, as did those beautiful red eyes. You watched his shoulders roll, his muscles rippling in the beautiful neon light, as he lined himself up with your cunt again.

‘Ready to go again?’ he purred.

All over again, the knot in your gut began dragging you down. Your pulsing clit hadn’t had enough, and clearly, the two men hadn’t had enough either.

This was going to be a long night.

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel o'hara x you #miguel x reader #spider man 2099 #miguel o'hara smut #miguel o'hara imagine #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel x peter #atsv peter b parker

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sundew199 · 1 month

Text

Times Two

a/n: good lord this is long and filthy. If you prefer to read it on AO3, it'll be linked. I've also never written a threesome before and tried my best, hopefully it isn't too horrible :)

words: 8,180

tags: Reiner x Jean x F!reader, rough sex, rough oral sex, Eiffel tower position, slight panty kink (Reiner), cum eating, Reiner and Jean are Bisexual, College AU, Reijean if you pay attention or care lol, pet names

What was it about Reiner and Jean that had you constantly glued to their hips? If you’re friends were to ask they’d say it was a double crush you were denying. If you asked your family their answers would vary from underlying crush, to enjoying being the center of attention or a close friendship. You personally didn’t think you were attached to their hips at first, but the more people started to whisper and theorize, you started to ask yourself the question. In reality, Reiner and Jean were your closest and longest friends, surviving multiple friend groups and growing up. You met Reiner in grade school, sat next to him on the first day of fourth grade and throughout the whole year due to the teacher’s assigned seating. The two of you might as well have been siblings, walking home together, eating dinner and playing at each other's house, even his mom and your parents were close after a while. Jean entered the scene later, seventh grade to be exact when he transferred mid year and as luck would have it the three of you shared almost all classes together. Reiner was the one who sought out Jean’s friendship and you became friends by proxy and from then on all the way to college the three of you were tight knit.

Attending the same university is what you think further solidified the glue between the three of you, swearing to everyone it wasn’t intentional to attend the same university together. Some believed you and others didn’t, but you really didn’t care. Thankfully rumors spreading about you being in a three way relationship with them ended going to college, high school was rampant. You’d admit that it did bother you, because why couldn’t you be really good friends with two guys? Why did everyone have to make it seem the other way around? Reiner and Jean never hesitated to defend your honor against the rumors, landing themselves in suspension once or twice when defending you turned physical. Even when you tried to blame yourself, they never allowed it.

Now when people questioned what the true nature of your friendship was with them, you’d play into the bit and come up with wildly different answers on how the dynamics of the relationship worked. Reiner and Jean both got a kick out of it as did you.

Junior year of college is what changed things for the three of you. Since you couldn’t room with them in the dorms since they were guys, all three of you decided to rent a condo off campus. You’d spent almost all your life with both of them so there wasn’t any harm in living with them, besides all three of you were just friends.

Towards the end of the first semester of junior year already and finals quickly approaching, you were buried in your books, studying like a madman to keep your GPA around or above a 3.5, needing the best possible grades to earn the degree you were working towards. Jean and Reiner had it easy in your mind, ashy haired man working towards a degree in Art History and the blonde meathead shooting towards that finance degree. In hindsight, they didn’t have it much easier than you, but they were also stupidly smart in their own respective studies. You envied them in a sense.

It was chilly out, keeping two blankets wrapped around you sitting at your desk and scrolling through the notes you took the other day to refresh your mind for the practice test on Monday. As much as you wanted to deny it, you need a mental break from school but wouldn’t allow yourself to take it, not when so much was riding on the line.

“Hey.”

Jumping in your chair at the sound of a gruff voice at your bedroom door, blinking and rubbing your eyes from staring at the screen for too long. Swiveling to face whichever one of them it was, you wrapped the blanket around you tightly.

“Yea.”

“Are you still planning on watching the season premier of the show later?” Reiner asked, tapping his knuckles on your doorframe and leaning into it. Your eyes refused to focus on his face and instead on the bulging bicep through the fabric of the long sleeve shirt he wore. Since when were his arms that big? I mean fuck you knew he worked out but you’d never noticed how ripped his arms alone were.

“Yeah if I finish going through my notes.”

Reiner scoffed, rolling his eyes and approaching you, reaching over you to slam the laptop shut, deciding for you if you were going to look over the rest of your notes or not.

“Reiner-”

“You’ve been holed up in here for almost two days. I know finals are important but I’ll bet your brain is fried to a crisp.” Defiantly declaring, crossing those beefy ass arms over his chest and waiting for you to give in like he knew you would.

Whatever. The premier of the new season of the show the three of you watched would only be an hour, and then you could return to forcing yourself to absorb as much information as possible. Sighing dramatically for effect and throwing the blankets off of yourself, you uncross your stupidly numb legs and ignore the sharp tingles running up from your foot as you stride over to the small closet to put on a sweatshirt. Reiner didn’t bother leaving as you tossed your t-shirt and bra from where you stood partially out of view to pull the sweatshirt over your head.

“Jean is picking up food and drinks - is that my sweatshirt that I haven’t been able to find?” Sounding hurt and accusatory as you brushed past him out of your room, looking back to nod with a smile, because yes it was his and it was his fault for mixing it in with your laundry. He muttered down the small hallway to the main area of the condo all three of you shared, pinching your shoulder when he purposely knocked past you, hearing the muttering replaced with chuckles.

One of them had taken the liberty to find all the blankets that were supposed to already be in the living room and tossed them all over the couch, setting up for the three of you to comfortably watch the premier. You could hear Reiner in the kitchen that flowed into the open concept living room, making a whole bunch of unnecessary noise in trying to find whatever it was. If you were being honest, living with your closest friends was turning into living with siblings, getting into pointless arguments and doing everything to get on each other's nerves. Would you change it to live with a regular roommate that could be a hit or miss in how well you got alone? Hell no.

Finding a spot on the couch while waiting for Jean, you decided to look through all the notifications you missed while studying for hours. Some of your classmates were checking in, or asking questions about the notes, contemplating on whether you should respond. They could wait, Reiner was probably right when he said your brain was fried at this point. Checking social media quickly turned into envy seeing some of your other friends enjoying the holiday break, done with their finals and celebrating by jumping from parties to bars or wherever they sold cheap alcohol. If only you were done with finals so you could actually destress, but that just wasn’t in the cards.

Jean came through the door after barreling through it, hands full with food and drinks. From the strong aroma, you knew he went to go get wings, always choosing the messiest option somehow.

“Damn out of your room finally? Swore you died or something.” Commenting with a smirk as he passed by the couch to get to the kitchen where Reiner was snickering at his comment. Rolling your eyes instead of lashing back, you joined them in the kitchen to plate some of the food and momentarily forget about the weight of finals.

“Please tell me you didn’t just get beer.” Approaching the center island of the kitchen, noticing the familiar white box in one of the bags that happened to be Jean and Reiner’s preferred drink of choice. If they wanted to give you a break, they would’ve at least gotten drinks that didn’t take four or five to actually start to feel the buzz.

“No, I got you those lemonade drinks.”

Ugh you could kiss him. As much as you loved Jean as a friend he had a tendency to forget to grab whatever you needed when he went out, always having to send you or Reiner back to the store to go grab it. Taking the glass bottle and popping the lid, the tingling fizzy drink left a slight burn as it went down your throat, just the right amount for you to down an entire six pack in a night and not regret your life choices in the morning.

“Shows about to start.” Reiner announced after checking his phone, taking his plate with him to the couch. You and Jean did the same, grabbing the drinks as well to keep from having to get up and get another if you wanted.

Sitting next to Reiner at a reasonable distance, Jean plopped down next to you and ended up sandwiching you between them. They were doing the absolute most to work every single one of your nerves, but you didn’t want to lash out again like you did earlier this week when one of them accidently ate your leftovers in the fridge. Tucking your feet under you as Reiner found the streaming service the show was premiering on, you actually didn’t mind being squished between them, their combined body heat doing more than the blanket over your lap would warm you up.

The host for the show gave a quick recap of last season, breaking down the drama and how it might affect this season. This dating competition game that you had started watching out of boredom surprisingly took the guys interest, somehow watching it with you when it was on to turning into offense when you’d watch the latest episode without them. Despite the show being corny and scripted and at times unbearable to watch, it was nice to do something like this with them.

“I swear to god if Jodi and that dick Preston aren’t broken up I might not watch the show anymore.”

Jean hummed in agreement with Reiner, guzzling down the rest of his first beer and reaching for another. “I know, he’s so fucking annoying and Jodi is either dumb or desperate if she hasn’t left him yet.”

Biting back a laugh as you took a bite of one of the wings, you looked at both of them to see they were being completely serious, so engrossed in this stupid show. The premise of this variant of a dating show was two people are paired up as a couple in the beginning and go through a series of challenges to see if they’re right for each other. Couples who continuously didn’t work together could get voted off or petition to break up with their partner. The downside was if there wasn’t another couple trying to split, you could be left without a partner and voted off, ya know all those stupid dating show rules that make you question why anyone would sign up to do it.

Finally beginning to destress while nursing your vodka infused lemonade, it all went to shit when the couple you were rooting for petitioned to split.

“Oh my god no! Why?! They were so good together!” Exclaiming and throwing your arms up, throwing your head back into the couch and pouting like a child.

“Man that sucks, but he did fuck Serena last season so I’d leave him to.” Reiner commented, grabbing your attention even more, failing to recall that important detail.

“Really?”

“Oh yeah, they were getting each other off in that hallway, remember? Moaning so loud it's a shocker no one heard them.” Jean answered, laughing a little as he recalled the scene you’d clearly missed.

“Yea! She was standing there going ‘oh josh faster! I'm going to cum, oh my god I’m so close!’” Reiner took it upon himself to imitate the moans one of the contestants were making, and you wouldn’t have felt as uncomfortable if it wasn't for that throaty laugh he let out there at the end, turning your cheeks flush with pink and throwing back the rest of your drink to hide it. Jean found Reiner’s imitation hilarious, laughing a bit harder than you’d imagine he would if he wasn’t finishing his second beer already, grabbing another and throwing his arm behind the couch and slouching, lifting his hips in the air trying to get comfortable.

Suddenly the short commercial playing on screen was so interesting, taking small sips of the second bottle of lemonade and trying to drown out the sounds of their talking over you. Studying your ass off for the last couple of months left you little to no time to snag yourself a quick one night stand. You’d been able to ignore the urges and pour everything into your notes and reviews, but fuck it was harder than you expected. Espescially when you pick up on conversations between Reiner and Jean on their nights out, the girls they sometimes went home with and wishing you were getting fucked into the next semester. When all three of you moved in here, everyone agreed not to bring anyone home, unless clearing it with the other two that they’d be gone for the night. It hadn’t happen yet (that you were aware of) and you were glad, unsure how you’d feel knowing one of your best friends was getting their dick wet and having to listen to it.

Regular programming returned and tried as you did to focus on what was unfolding, you just couldn’t. Replaying Reiner’s laugh in your head and Jean’s hip motion, turning you warm all over and settling something funny yet familiar in your abdomen. You wouldn’t lie and say you haven’t though about fucking one of them, mostly they were just passing thoughts and that was it, but now? Jesus fucking christ your head was a mess. This what you get for turning down outings with other friends to study, leaving you hornier than a motherfucker. It’d be fine, the show only had about thirty minutes left and then you could go back to studying and rub one out if you really needed to.

“I wonder why there aren’t any same sex couples? I’d like to see how that plays out.” Jean’s words had a slight slur to them as he spoke, now reclined completely with his feet propped up on the coffee table.

“Wasn’t there one last season?” Reiner asked, in a similar position as Jean, one arm behind his head and his half drank beer between his thighs.

“Mm no, I think Zach and Marco made out on a dare but they weren’t a couple.” Giving them an answer after searching through your brain for that jaw dropping scene from last season that had everyone talking about on social media.

“Oh yea I remember that, that was hot.” Jean slurred, heat dripping in his words and causing you to raise an eyebrow. Maybe it was because he was drunk, that was what you told yourself instead of questioning how your friend really felt about that scene unfolding.

Every little movement either of them did drew your attention, watching as Reiner drank the last of his beer, adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, only to be pulled away by Jean’s groans as he adjusted on the couch. They weren’t doing it on purpose and you were tipsy so that explained the clenching of your thighs to ease the throb, not because you were getting turned on by them.

A preview of next week's episode played at the end of the premier, taking the liberty to watch it before getting up and heading back to your room to get your mind out of the gutter. But as you walked away, Reiner grabbed your wrist, pulling you back towards him lazily.

“Leaving already?”

“I said I’d watch the premier with you guys and then study before going to bed.” Ignoring how large his hand looked around your wrist and how warm it was on your skin, taking in a sharp breath.

“It’s Friday though.” The blonde whined, the slight inebriation turning him a bit sappy.

“Play a game of cards with us and then go, please.” Jean chimed in, fluttering those hazel eyes at you, begging to spend just a little more time together.

Not giving it much thought, you let out a sigh and walked to the media console below where the T.V hung on the wall to grab the deck of cards. Surely there was a quick game the three of you could play that wouldn’t send your mind further into the gutter or put you in a compromising situation. Jean managed to get up and grab some water for everyone, tossing one to you and Reiner as he sat down on the floor behind the coffee table, leaning back into the couch for support.

“One round of B.S, alright?” Shuffling the cards between your hands and the table, repeatedly doing so that way everyone played fairly.

“Lame but alright.” Jean agreed, chugging some of the water and sharing a look with Reiner that you didn’t understand and didn’t care to acknowledge.

Dividing the entire deck between the three of you, now waiting for one of them to put down the ace of spades to begin the game. Reiner ended up having it and motioned towards you to go next. This game used to be a staple for you guys, playing every chance you got and getting into heated arguments whenever someone suspected someone else of putting down the incorrect card.

The game went quietly in the beginning, until you picked up on Jean and Reiner putting down cards that they ‘supposedly’ had, smiling behind your deck every time they called out cards that were in your deck, the only thing keeping you from calling them out was waiting until the deck got a little thicker.

“Two eights.” Reiner called out, looking at you to go next.

“Bullshit.”

“Ha! You sure? Cause I promise you I just put down two eights.” Reiner laughed, encouraging you to rethink your decision but also egging you on to check in hopes of watching you take the entire deck.

“Check it.” Jean motivated from beside you, pushing his shoulder with yours. Reiner still had that confident look on his face which did end up making you regret your call out a bit, second guessing if you were right to call his bluff. No matter what since you called B.S, you had to check and you were going to livid if it actually was two eights.

Reaching forward and thumbing apart the top two cards from the rest of the deck, you snuck a peak and saw what you didn’t want to see; two eights.

“Nevermind, I take it back.” Knowing that wasn’t how the game worked but hoping you could worm your way out of it.

“Uh uh, check.” Reiner insisted while standing up, coming to lean over you from behind, taking your arm and trying to force you to check the first two cards so the entire deck would go to you. Doing everything to resist, laughing as the man behind you snarled and laughed in your ear, still trying to force you to check with his hand over yours. Jean was leaning over to help, slipping an arm under the one that held your deck in the other hand, sandwiching you between them for the second time that night.

“Just check, it’s okay if you’re a loser this round.” The taller of the two sneered in your other ear, brushing his lips over the shell and letting out a breathy laugh. You instantly shivered and became much more aware of your position, Reiner pressed into you from behind and Jean from the side. Heat rose in your entire body, refusing to let yourself enjoy the firm muscular bodies rubbing against yours.

Resistance faltered completely as you got caught up in the overwhelming thoughts and sensations coursing through you, Reiner succeeding in getting your hand to flip over the top three cards, chuckling directly into ear.

“Now was that so hard?” So close to the side of your face, you couldn’t help but turn and meet him. His eyes were still a bit hazy from the alcohol but not enough for you to feel guilty for leaning in and pressing your lips to his.

Reiner gasped softly, giving into the feel of your soft plush lips on his and parting them when he felt yours begin to. You had absolutely no explanation for what spurred you to lean in and kiss what you considered your best friend, but you did and fuck did it feel nice. Reiner’s lips were surprisingly soft and the lingering remnants of his beer on his tongue kept you latched to his mouth.

Behind you, Jean watched intrigued, though not entirely shocked. He would feel left out if he weren’t enjoying his two best friends making out on the floor of the living room, noticing how his sweat pants turned a little tighter. He smirked when Reiner peeked an eye open, a silent invitation to join in while pulling away from you. Jean wasted no time grabbing you by the back of your neck and slotting his lips into yours, sighing delightfully and wasting no time moving them with his.

There wasn’t enough time for you to process that it was Jean you were kissing now, your other best friend, letting out a small moan when his tongue dipped into your mouth. He was slightly more insistent than Reiner was, moving faster and with a purpose but still reeling you in as your mouths stayed locked together.

Coming up for air, not even wanting to think about what had just happened, you stood quickly.

“C’mon,” Nodding towards what you think was Reiner’s room, knowing that if you gave yourself a moment to consider what you were about to do, you’d back out and hole yourself away in your room and never speak of this again.

Both of them were quick to follow, smiling victoriously behind you. The door shut and you sat on the edge of Reiner’s bed, looking at both of them and debating on how this should continue to carry out. Consequences could come later, right now you’d gotten a taste of what you’d been actively avoiding for the sake of a GPA and needing so much more.

“However you want to do this, I’m down.” Voicing your consent and ultimately putting all of your trust in both of them. You would admit this could be smoother sailing since you’d known both of them since childhood basically, but just not like that. There wouldn’t be much need to worry about keeping them in check like you would if it were someone you went home from the bar with and part of that excited you.

Out of the two of them, Jean approached first, standing between your legs and grabbing your face and kissing you again. Slowly as your mouths returned to motions from minutes ago, the taller man began to push you back into the bed, holding himself above you with his hands beside your head. The bed dipped in the sudden weight of another person, knowing it was Reiner.

Slender hands slipped under your sweatshirt, roaming around your skin and littering it with goosebumps. You gasped when the lith fingers brushed the underside of your breast, remembering you weren’t wearing a bra. Jean chuckled into your lips, humming as he dared to cup the flesh, sighing pleasantly when brushing his thumb over your nipple.

Abruptly his mouth left yours, leaving you dazed and sitting up to search for his lips, only to see hands that weren’t Jean’s pulling his shirt off. Reiner stood on his knees just behind your head, tossing the shirt to the other side of the room and giving a playful smack to Jean’s pectoral.

“Sharing is caring by the way.” The blonde rumbled behind you, scolding Jean and pinching his nipple teasingly, hearing Jean hiss softly before Reiner slipped his arms under your armpits and hauling you to face him. He was in nothing but his boxer briefs, the faint imprint of his half hard cock catching your eyes and widening at how big it looked beneath the fabric. Fuck you hadn’t even thought about how big either of them were, both impressively fit and no doubt having a dick to match the rigid muscles rippling over their bodies.

Falling with Reiner as he leaned back on the bed, you threw your legs over his torso and smashed your mouth to his, feeling another set of hands from behind you lift the hem of your sweatshirt until you were bare from the waist up. The man below you groaned when you sat up on his abdomen, running his hand across your stomach. Acquainted hands from earlier snakes around to your chest, Jean cupping both of your tits and softly kissing down your neck while circling his thumbs over your nipples.

“Fuck,” Reiner breathed from below, raising his hips as he watched Jean tease and stimulate your nipples in to pert buds. Mindlessly, you began to scoot down until you came in contact with the bulge beneath Reiner’s boxers, grinding in time with Jean’s circling thumbs. The blonde groaned again, bringing his hands to your hips and encouraging you.

“Eager huh?” A voice teased, pinching both nipples harshly and sucking the side of your neck. You couldn’t think of anything but the rising heat in your body, the teasing from Jean and the quieted groans from Reiner below. Maybe you were stupid for never giving this a shot before, both seemed eager and willing to please and show you what a good time looked like.

“Are these my sweat pants?” Jean asked, pulling off of your neck and slipping one of his hands to the waistband of said sweats, snapping the band against your skin.

“Mhm.” Unable to give any other answer as Reiner started rolling his hips up to yours, matching the roll of your own. Wasn’t intentional to wear either of their clothes but seeing how it looked now only made you more desperate for them and if that got you what you wanted, then where was the harm. Reiner began to tug at the waistband, sitting up on his elbows after hearing the short conversation between you and Jean, aiding him by lifting your hips and no longer straddling his waist.

Enough teasing, you decided, pulling down Reiner’s boxer briefs after he tossed the sweats aside, gripping the base and watching his face contort at the contact. He was thick from the base up, intimidating you from the sight and size alone. Jean chuckled, moving to lay beside his friend, cupping the side of his face and hovering above his lips. Interesting to see there was no resistance from Reiner when their lips slipped together, craning to reach the ashy haired man like he was desperate for his taste. Smirking while the two of them made out, you flattened your tongue over the top of Reiner’s cockhead, fluttering your eyes at the delicious groan that Jean swallowed from Reiner. It’d take some working up to taking his dick all the way down, girthy enough to know your jaw would ache when it was all said and done.

Sucking around the head and moaning when Reiner’s hand reached down to grip Jean’s dick still shielded by the fabric of his briefs, seeing his hand move up and down. Had they done this before? You couldn't help but wonder the more you took Reiner’s dick down seeing how they were both so comfortable with each other’s touch, and the slight jealousy of being left out. Jean’s hip rutted into Reiner’s hand, breaking their make out session to finally pull his briefs off and give you a look at what he was packing as well. It was slightly longer than Reiner’s, by an inch or two but not as thick, pausing your bobbing head to stare between his legs.

“I think she likes it.” Reiner hissed, bringing a hand to your head, pushing you further down his dick and letting his head fall back when the tip brushed the back of your throat.

“Haven’t met anyone who hasn’t.” Jean quipped back, moving off the bed and coming to stand behind you. You watched Reiner’s eyes follow him, a sly smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. Warm hands massaged your ass cheeks, gasping around the cock still deep in your throat when two fingers swiped over your clothed pussy.

“Fucking soaked.” He commented behind you, Reiner groaning approvingly as he still guided your head up and down on his dick. Jean then pulled your panties down, tossing them over to Reiner who shamelessly brought them to his nose, listening to him mutter a few words and pull you off of his dick to give you a break. Jean then took to spreading you apart, licking a strip from your clit to your entrance, squeaking out a moan and falling forward onto Reiner’s abdomen. The blonde pulled you forward until your tits dangled in his face, taking one into his mouth.

“Holy shit-” Gasping at the double stimulation, forgetting all shame and grinding back into Jean’s face, who appreciated the gesture with a firm slap to one ass cheek, dipping his tongue inside you, slurping obnoxiously. You were shaking, struggling to hold yourself up, moaning like the whore you felt like. Reiner managed to keep you steady above him, holding you so he could bite and suck at your over sensitive nipples. You knew both of them were experienced but fuck, they were intent on making it impossible to make any future hookups impossible to enjoy, hoping this wouldn’t be a one time thing.

Reiner suddenly bit down hard on your nipple, pulling off it with a tug and causing you to wince at the slight pain. Unsure of what would cause him to do that, you turned around to see one of Jean’s hands between your bodies, languidly stroking the blonde’s spit coated dick. This wasn’t exactly the right time to question the nature of your two friends' relationship, but the way Reiner was moaning and struggling to return to the task at hand, it continuously flashed in the back of your head. Jean was still buried in your pussy while simultaneously jacking Reiner off, pressing your forehead to Reiner’s and practically synchronizing your moans.

“Fuck, have you two done this before?” asking the man below you, watching his slow nod come before his answer.

“Yea - fuck - every once in a while.” panting as his hips grinded into Jean’s hand, and sitting up enough to where he could pry the man away, seconds away from cumming.

Jean took the hint, also pulling away from your pussy and stroking it affectionately. You winced at the final slap he gave to your ass, coming back to lay beside Reiner, taking the side of his face and turning it towards him.

“Pussy tastes fuckin’ devine.”

“Oh yea?” Bolding swiping his tongue over Jean’s bottom lip, speaking as if you weren’t there listening to them talk. You watched as they kissed again, yearning for the combined taste and chastising yourself for not noticing the signs for whatever they had going on sooner.

“Think I need a better taste for myself, lay down for me baby.” Reiner instructed, already moving to get out from under you. Jean chuckled deviously, pecking the side of your mouth and moving to the very back of the bed, reclining against the headboard, patting his inner thigh. Reiner immediately knew what he was wanting and waited until you were sitting between the other man’s legs to center him between yours.

“Keep’em spread for me.” Glancing up to the other man, running his palms over your inner thighs.

You were already so sensitive from Jean eating you out minutes ago, you were afraid you weren’t going to last much longer. Nevertheless, you let Jean hook your legs over his and watched on baited breath as the blonde examined your slick and puffy folds.

“Fuck, such a pretty pussy.” His voice so airy, breathing over your cunt prior to latching onto your clit. Your back arched off of Jean’s chest, whining at the intentionally harsh sucks. The man behind you held you down with an arm around your chest, chuckling right beside your ear. Reiner looked up, smiled against your tingling flesh and flicked his tongue over your clit while he continued to suck.

Jesus fucking christ, it was too much, you were already starting to feel yourself cum when Jean’s hand tipped your head back. “Don’t cum, not yet gorgeous.”

“Jean, I can’t.” Mewling pathetically, feeling the beginnings of tears at your waterline from the overstimulation.

“Sure you can.” Giving a slow grind of his dick on your lower back, the promise of a silent reward if you did what you were told. Keeping your head thrown back on his shoulder you shamelessly moaned and whimpered as Reiner alternated between sucks and swirls of his tongue, listening to his chuckles as you writhed against Jean. He finally pulled away only to shove his middle and ring finger inside, pulling you too look at him by your chin as he sat on his knees between your legs and furiously fingered you.

“Fuck look at you, so pretty baby.” He cooed with a smirk, running along the spongy part deep inside of you and giving a small tilt of his head, knowing you would take it as your indicator to cum.

You came on a broken cry, arched off Jean’s chest and pulsating around Reiner’s fingers. Both of them laughed endearingly at their combined success at getting you to come. Reiner pulled his fingers out, locked his eyes with yours and sucked the two digits clean. Jean was the one who moaned behind you at the act, dick still grinding into your lower back subtly.

“Think you’re okay to take one of us?” One of them asked, still delirious from your orgasm to tell who was asking. You gave a nod and sat forward, not really caring how but still feeling the ache in your cunt for more.

“Alright hands and knees then princess.” It was Jean instructing, hearing his voice vibrate in his chest that was still pressed to your back.

On shaky legs you sat on your knees, watching them move around as you positioned yourself on all fours. Reiner was still behind you, massaging your ass cheeks and letting out huffs of appreciation at your puffy wet folds, his and Jean’s handy work. Jean sat on his knees in front of your face, running a loose fist over his angry cock, using the pre-cum leaking from the slit to lubricate his motions.

“If it’s too much, pinch my thigh or kick the brute behind you.” Jean swooned, holding your head up to look at him as he spoke, stroking his thumb over your bottom lip, watching the anticipation blaze in his irises.

“We’ll take care of you angel,” Reiner pressed himself into your back, lips brushing against the shell of your ear and sending a shiver down your spine. All you could do was nod, witness the shared glance between both of them and wait on pins and needles.

The fat head of Reiner’s cock started to slide between your folds teasingly, wetting the tip and making it hard to focus on your gentle kisses you were giving to Jean’s. It was good they were both aware of their size and knew they couldn’t just shove themselves in disregarding you completely, but holy shit, if your weeping cunt wasn’t enough to entice Reiner to slip inside you already then you weren’t sure what will.

A hand held your jaw when you enclosed your lips around the tip, sucking long and slow, tasting the salty pre that continuously leaked out. Jean’s head was thrown back, the defined muscles cascading over his body clenching the more you took in his cock more. You could hear Reiner chuckle on a low breath, pushing just the tip inside of you and giving a full body shutter. If their goal was to drive you insane with their pace, it was working, taking things into your own hands and pushing your hips back into Reiner until you were flush to his pelvis.

He choked, dug his fingers into your hip and somewhat growled with the ragged breaths he was taking. It was Jean’s turn to laugh now, the sound so disgustingly seductive you could feel yourself grow wetter around the cock you shoved yourself on.

“God you’re fucking tight, feels so good.” The blonde breathed out, pulling his hips back nearly all the way, returning the favor by thrusting forward and sending Jean’s cock deeper down your throat. The hand not holding your chin tangled harshly in your hair, looking down with parted lips and hooded eyes at the sight and little reaction you gave. They may have known you all your life but they didn’t know how well you could take dick, letting a small amount of pride surge through you at their astonishment.

Their rhythm synchronized quickly, settling somewhere in the middle of not too soft and not too rough, letting you adjust to their respective sizes. You knew it wouldn’t last before they abandoned it all and used you to find their pleasure, just from radiating restraint coming off of them, eventually fucking your throat and pussy like you were nothing but a hole to be filled and that thought alone was exciting.

“Shit, do that again.” Jean breathily exclaimed, enjoying the method of your tongue swirling around his shaft as he plunged in and out of your mouth, tipping your head back with the hand still in your hair. Giving him a hum, you repeated the action, felt your stomach flip in on itself as he moaned prettily.

There was a slight hitch in breath from the man behind you, faltering in his thrusts and seemingly regaining his composure. Something about Reiner experiencing the same surge of arousal as your were at Jean’s expression and action thickened the lust hanging in the air around you. He didn’t resume his pace like you were expecting him to, but yanked back into focus on Jean tightening his grip in your hair and pistoning his hips forward, fucking your throat with vigor, something snapping inside him.

“There you go, gorgeous.” Growling, inhaling sharply through his nose. Your eyes were welling up with tears, the ache in your jaw beginning but you didn’t want to stop, not until his cum was trickling down your throat, leaving you no choice but to swallow. Reiner palmed both of your ass cheeks, spreading them far apart and slamming into with the same force Jean was. This sudden switch up had your legs nearly buckling, tears rolling down your cheeks and pathetic whines and whimpers muffled. Your pussy fluttered around Reiner everytime Jean thrusted down your throat, the wet squelching noise turning obscene, your gummy walls sucking the blonde back in over and over, like your pussy craved to be stretched and fucked on his thick cock.

“Fuck she feels so good, so wet,” Reiner groaned, talking to Jean, again like you weren’t there.

“Mm, she sucks cock better than you.” Jean groaned back at the mental image his friend was painting, acknowledging your mouth felt just as good as your pussy probably did.

“Not my fault, you barely give me a chance before trying to get me inside you.”

Their banter of a conversation sending you into a new wave of arousal, images of their bulky bodies fighting over who would fuck who and never in your life did you think something like that would turn you on. Despite it being your two best friends fueling these fantasizing images, you couldn’t help but want to be in the middle of that from here on out. From the way both of them fucked you, there wasn’t any desire to look for anymore hook-ups, not when the two perfect candidates were right here.

“Gonna cum princess, be a good girl and swallow it all for me.” A husky voice drawing you back to reality, doing your best to give him a nod and look up at him with doe-like eyes, a trick that worked on just about every guy.

With a slow drawn out groan, Jean pushed the entirety of his cock into your mouth and down your throat, pressing your nose to the happy trail below his belly button. Hot ropes of cum shot down your throat, feeling him ease up and pull out of your mouth so he wouldn’t accidentally choke you with his cum. He gave you a lopsided smile, wiping away the milky liquid from your bottom lip and the corner of your mouth with his thumb, shuffling over to Reiner who was still fucking your pussy absolutely raw. You could only assume the blonde cleaned off the cum smeared thumb Jean presented him, based on the hiss and brief collision of mouths.

A heavy palm landed on the center of your back, forcing you off of your elbows holding you up and forming a deep arch in your back. From this angle, Reiner was able to sink so much deeper inside you, splitting you in half on his thick cock, crying out with a moan.

“Glad I held off, been dying to hear those pretty moans again baby.” He chuckled, putting more of his weight into the hand on your back, forcing you to keep the arch.

“Fuck Reiner, don’t stop.” Gasping, twisting the bedsheets in a tight fist, the tears welling up in your eyes again.

“Don’t plan to, sweetheart, I want to see you leaking by the time I’m done.”

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head, unable to stop the constant moans and incoherent noises leaving your lips. Jean had come back into view, partially laying down beside you, keeping your hair out of your eyes and giving you a look of endearing smugness, like watching you getting fucked by Reiner was better than fucking you himself.

Skin slapping on skin echoed in the bedroom, your body coated in a layer of sweat and your limbs so weak that if it weren’t for Reiner holding you by the hips now, you wouldn’t be able to keep yourself upright. Your spongy walls clenched repeatedly around him after another orgasm, unsure of how many at this point.

“Doin’ so good, doll.” Jean cooed, pinching the nipple he had been messing with and muffling your broken squeak with a soft kiss, keeping you occupied. Reiner grunted, beginning to break his steady harsh rhythm and fucking into you furiously with abandon. His breathing turned into short gasps, letting out something of a whine, tipping his head back with two final slams of his hips before cumming inside of you.

A familiar warmth filled your pussy, moaning weakly into Jean’s lips, giving up on holding your position. Reiner pulled out slowly, groaning as he watched a glob of his cum drip from your hole. You collapsed on the bed, forcing yourself to turn over and lay on your back, placing your hands over your eyes to ease the dizziness you were experiencing.

Just when you thought all the nerve endings in your body were shot, you sprung forward when a flat tongue glided over your folds, seeing Reiner lap up the mess he made between your legs, smirking and moving out of the way so Jean could do the same thing.

“Fucking filthy.” Muttering at the sight of them both taking turns cleaning you up, your legs twitching and tingling from sensitivity. They both looked at you guiltless, even though you were shaking with overstimulation that didn’t stop you from pressing Jean’s head into your folds, watching as he eagerly lapped at Reiner’s cum. They switched again, Reiner being gentler this time, only running his tongue across your messy slit twice before using his middle finger to shove some of it back in.

Reiner moves out from between your legs to lay beside you, cradling the side of your face for the sole purpose of giving you a taste of his cum. You were just as shameless, moaning into the kiss and running your hand through his sweaty hair, feeling him smirk against your lips. He pulled away, grabbing Jean by the back of the neck and slotting his lips between his, kissing him rather tenderly.

With zero strength to make it to the bathroom, let alone your room to grab a change of clothes, Reiner and Jean took the liberty of taking care of you. Both of them pulling on their sweats thrown around the room, Reiner cleaned your inner thighs while Jean went to your room to grab you some underwear after tossing you one of Reiner’s sweatshirts. All three of you situated yourself into Reiner’s king bed, you of course in the middle of them both. There was so point in going back to your room and studying, not when you had several unanswered questions.

“So how long have you two been dating?” They both froze beside you, and you couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“We’re not dating, we just fuck occasionally.” Jean answered, Reiner nodding to further reaffirm the statement, but you weren’t buying it. Their chemistry in bed was enough to convince you they’d been hiding a relationship from you.

“You just fuck? No feelings attached?”

“There’s obviously feelings when we’ve been friends this long, but we’re not exclusive.” Reiner responded, propping himself up on his elbow and looking in the direction of you and Jean. “We didn’t tell you because there wasn’t anything serious between us.”

Okay, that made more sense than you were expecting too. But experiencing what you just did created a longing inside of you, one that might’ve been there that you didn’t want to acknowledge before now. Jean and Reiner were your best friends without a doubt, but they were also so much more than that and in order to not ruin the friendship, you shoved that deep down inside of you.

“But,” Jean’s hands from behind turned you to look towards him. “We’re also not opposed to the idea of you being a part of this situationship.”

“You’ve talked about this?” Surprised to know this wasn’t a coincidence happening, sounding like they planned this in a way.

“Of course we have, do you know how long both of us have had a crush on you?” Reiner laughed, sending your mind into a flurry of confusion. They liked you? Like holding affectionate feelings beyond friendship for you?

“Huh?”

“Since junior or senior year of high school. We didn’t know we both felt the same way about you until after we had sex for the first time six months ago, agreeing that if it ever came to the point where you chose one of us over the other we would be okay with it.” Jean was speaking now, softly and almost lovingly, sending a blush to your face.

“And we’ll never ask you to choose, if you want only one of us that’s fine and if you end up wanting both of us, that’s fine too.” Reiner spoke with the same inflection Jean did, softly smiling and looking at you endearingly.

“I want both of you.” Blurting out without even thinking twice, hearing them laugh. But you knew you would rather have both than just one, it's always been the three of you.

“Don’t decide now idiot, we’re being serious.” Jean pinched your shoulder with a frustrated grunt, rolling his eyes while Reiner just laughed softly.

“We can talk about it more tomorrow, it’s late.” Reaching over to turn the lamp off on his bedside table, pulling you down under the comforter into his arms and kissing the top of your head. Jean shuffled behind you, pressing his chest to your back and kissing your cheek.

For a few moments you refused to close your eyes, trying to break down all the new feelings and emotions you were experiencing, from earlier when you were at their mercy, to the confession from them both. It was in a way exciting, and whatever ended up happening between the three of you, it would work out in the end.

#reiner braun #jean kirstein #reiner x reader #jean kirschtein x reader #reiner x jean x reader #attack on titan #aot reiner #aot jean #snk #reiner smut #jean kirschstein smut #snk smut #aot smut #smut

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inthedoghousern · 8 months

Text

i'd have to think about it

pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem!reader

summary: it seemed like it was meant to be, but things don't always work out. too bad you might still be in love with each other. inspired by "i'd have to think about it" by leith ross.

contains: childhood friends to lovers, fluffy stuff, angsty stuff, cursing, reunions, breakups, proposals, pregnancy (is it drs? maybe not...) there's a lot.

5.2k words

a/n: sorry it's been a minute, school distracts me from the truly important things in life (this acc).

18 years old

"Danny," you whisper into the dark guest room. You weren't sure if he was asleep, you hope he wasn't. "Danny," you whisper again, slightly louder. You can hear blankets shuffling.

"What?" you hear him groan.

"Are you awake?"

"Now I am," he answers, annoyance in his voice.

There's a bit of light filling the room from the moon outside, and your eyes finally adjust to the darkness. You can make out Danny in the bed, he sits up looking towards you.

"Good, come on," you whisper still standing at the door. You're trying to be as quiet as possible to avoid waking up the rest of the house.

The two of your families had been close your whole life. You and Daniel were only one year apart, which meant that the two of you were always paired up. Over the years you became inseparable, and the dynamic between your families only got stronger. Your families were always on vacations together, at the race track to support Danny, staying at each other's houses for a few days for a change of scenery. This weekend was one of those instances.

You peek your head into the hallway, making sure there's no light from under any of the bedroom doors, the last thing you wanted was to wake up your parents, Danny's, or any of the siblings.

"Why? What time is it?" He rubs his eyes.

"Danny, come on!" you whisper-yell, getting impatient.

"Ok ok." He finally surrenders and gets up. He trails behind you as you quietly make your way through the house. At the door, you slip on your flip-flops and Danny follows suit.

You open the door and lead the two of you away and down the suburb street. After you're a good distance away from the house, Daniel finally speaks again, "Where are we going?"

"The beach," you answer plainly, still walking and looking ahead. You lived just a few minutes away from the shore.

"Okay... and we're going because?" Daniel asks. He's confused why you've dragged him out of bed and are cryptically answering his question.

You turn and look at him, "You're leaving in a few hours. I wanted to hang out!" you answer, a hint of a smile tugging at your lips.

He smiles back and shakes his head. "Why didn't you just ask before we went to sleep? Like a 'hey Danny, let's sneak out later, ok?'" He grins. "You let me get comfortable."

You laugh, "Sorry, I couldn't sleep and just decided in the moment."

"It's alright, I guess," he teases as he wraps his arm around your shoulder.

The two of you walk in step with each other the rest of the way. A comfortable silence between you, only the sound of your flip-flops slapping on the pavement and the rustling of the trees around you. The March air is cool on your bare legs, but you're both in hoodies and don't really mind the temperature. As you get closer to the beach, the crashing of the waves also fills the silence.

When you get to the beach, you kick off your shoes and walk to the edge of the water. It's quiet as the two of you watch the waves roll over your feet.

"Are you excited?" you ask breaking the silence.

"Yeah, I really am," he answers.

In a few days Daniel was leaving for the start of his racing season, he was going to be all around the world for the next few months. This year was an even bigger deal than normal, as last year he was selected to drive with the Red Bull Junior Team, so this was his first year with them.

You look down as you lightly kick around the sand with your feet.

"I'm going to miss you, you know," you say in a playful tone, but you really do mean it.

"Hey, I'm back in August." He nudges you with his shoulder and ducks his head slightly to try and meet your eyes.

You look up from the sand and at him, "I'm leaving in August before you get back, remember?" You give a small smile. He wasn't the only one traveling this year, you'd graduated from school in December and decided to go to an American university. So your first semester started in August.

"Oh, right." Daniel looks out at the water again with a small frown.

A silence falls over the two of you again. You just listen to the steady rhythm of the waves crashing.

"It won't be too bad. You're still coming to some of my races, right?" Daniel starts, still looking out. "And when you start school it's not like you're never coming home again," he jokes.

You laugh softly. "True."

It's quiet again as you let your mind wander. It was normal for Danny to be out and about with his racing stuff, but starting school across the world was going to make both your schedules even crazier. But your families always found a way to spend time together. It would work out. You really hope it would.

You're ripped out of your thoughts when you feel Daniel grab you and throw you over his shoulder.

"Hey!" you yell in surprise. He laughs and starts walking deeper into the water, and you know what he's going to try and do.

"Don't you dare... oh my god, put me down!" You're squirming and hitting him, trying to save yourself.

"Put you down?" You stop fighting and simply rest your head on his back when you've realized your fatal error. "Sure!" he answers happily.

And with that, he throws you off into the water. You're completely submerged for a moment and then come back up to the surface. Daniel stands in front of you, a smile plastered across his face. You push your now wet hair out of your face and stand up too. The water is up to your mid-thigh at this point.

"Really?" You splash water at him.

Daniel just laughs in response and turns slightly in a weak attempt to avoid the water.

You splash more water at him and he does the same back. His clothes are progressively becoming more wet but it's nothing compared to how drenched you are.

As you go to splash him again, Danny grabs both of your wrists and holds them in front of you. He starts pushing you back and the water is rising to your waist.

You push back, trying not to get dunked again. In a fit of giggles, the two of you struggle against each other.

Danny slips a little bit and you take your chance, pushing him hard. But his grip on you is still strong, and as he tumbles backward into the water, you go right down with him.

When the two of you come up to the surface you're both laughing hysterically. Daniel lets go of you and you move back slightly, you're floating in the shallow water facing each other.

"This is your fault," you joke. You're smiling so hard that your cheeks are starting to hurt.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he smiles just as hard back.

The water isn't deep, but you and Daniel stay submerged up to your shoulders. You don't know what else to say, and it seems like Daniel doesn't either, the two of you just look at each other. Both of your smiles relax a bit, and you notice Danny's eyes flicker down to your lips and back to your eyes. You feel your stomach drop a little. You're probably seeing things.

He swims even closer to you, a lazy smile still on his lips. You lightly push his face to the side, your heart beating fast. What was he doing?

He slowly looks back at you. "I'm going to miss you too."

"I'd hope so," you answer teasingly. You're trying to ignore how he's looking at you.

"Yeah?" He counters with a raise of his eyebrows.

"Yeah."

It's quiet again and you just look at each other. The way your heart is beating out of your chest is just too much. You break your eyes away from him and stand up, making your way to the shore.

Daniel lingers for a moment, watching you, but eventually, he gets up and follows.

Your wet clothes are heavy as you make your way across the beach to your shoes. As you pick up your flip-flops, you feel Daniel come up beside you, grabbing his shoes too. Neither of you put them on, and instead, just hold them at your sides as you leave the beach.

There's a certain amount of tension between you two as you walk back to the house. You can't describe it, and honestly, you're not even sure if it's just in your head or not. But you can't help but feel your stomach doing flips as you walk side by side down the street.

As you're walking, Danny starts to veer towards the side, walking into you. His side hits yours, and you laugh a bit as he gets you off balance. He keeps doing this and you run forward to escape him.

You turn to look at him behind you, walking backward down the street. A grin is back on his face, and on yours too.

You throw one of your flip-flops at him, and it hits him in the leg. It's not a hard throw by any means, but shock spreads over Danny's face at your assault.

He grabs the flip-flop and throws it back at you, but you dodge it. He still has two more shoes though.

When he launches the next one, you're not prepared and it connects with your arm.

The next moments are filled with you and Danny throwing shoes at each other and running around the empty road like maniacs.

There are still no words exchanged between the two of you, just laughter and the slap of flip-flops against your wet sweatshirts, bare skin, and the pavement.

You wanted the street to stretch on endlessly. You didn't want to get to the house because you knew that the moment would be over. It would've made it a reality that Daniel was leaving soon and so were you.

But unfortunately, the street had its limits. You and Daniel walked into the house and quietly made it back to your respective rooms. You said your goodnights. After the sun rose in the next few hours, Daniel and his family packed their stuff into the car. You two said your goodbyes.

You weren't able to go to any of his races that season. He didn't get back before you left for university.

You only came back for winter break that school year. Your families saw each other once.

When your summer vacation came around and you were back in Australia, Daniel was already gone.

This cycle repeated for the next three years. He invited you to races. You couldn't make it. You invited him to your graduation. He couldn't make it.

The frequent phone calls got difficult with time zones, so your communication turned exclusively to texting. Eventually, those slowed down too.

You watched each other's lives in pictures. Forgetting what the other's voice sounded like in person. But you never forgot how much you cared for him, and he never forgot how much he loved you...

24 years old

"Danny!" You call out across the lobby of the Monaco hotel. He turns and flashes you one of his signature smiles. You hadn't seen it in what felt like ages.

He walks over and you two embrace in a tight hug.

You pull apart and his hands are on your shoulders as he looks down at you. "I'm so glad you're here," he says.

"Me too!" You respond with just as much enthusiasm.

The past few weeks you and Daniel had been talking more frequently, finally trying to coordinate seeing each other again. You were both in luck when the days leading up to the Monaco Grand Prix, as well as the race weekend, fit into your schedule.

For a moment you're just smiling at each other, taking in one another's presence. A long overdue reunion. "Let's go, yeah?" He asks.

You nod and the two of you leave the hotel, ready to start making up lost time.

For the rest of the day, you two are attached at the hip. It was nice you got to spend so much time together before all of his racing and media obligations.

You're smiling to yourself now as the evening breeze dances lightly through the narrow streets of Monaco. You and Daniel stroll side by side, relishing in the familiarity of each other's company.

The city lights cast a warm glow upon the cobblestone pathways, and laughter and chatter spill from the restaurants, blending with the soft melody of distant music. It's a picturesque scene, one that perfectly reflects this moment shared between two old friends reconnecting.

"You know," Danny says, breaking the silence, "I should've kissed you that night."

You glance at him, eyebrows raised in surprise. "What?"

"On the beach," he clarifies. "I know you remember." He laughs slightly.

A soft chuckle escapes your lips as you shake your head in disbelief. "I can't believe you're bringing that up now."

"But I'm serious," he insists, his tone playful yet earnest. "It might just haunt me."

"Haunt you?" you echo, unable to suppress a smile at his confession.

Danny shrugs, his expression turning thoughtful. "Yeah, I mean... I've been thinking about it, seeing you again and everything. Wondering what could've been if I had just taken the chance."

You pause, the weight of his words sinking in. Despite the casual atmosphere, there was an underlying tension, a silent acknowledgment of the unsaid feelings lingering between you.

"I guess we'll never know," you say finally.

Danny nods. "Yeah, maybe you're right."

"I have missed this though," Danny continues, his voice softer now, "Just being with you, like old times."

You smile. "Me too."

Daniel wraps his arm around your shoulder, and the air is filled with a comfortable silence as you continue your stroll back to the hotel. Despite the passing of time and the unspoken words hanging in the air, there was a sense of ease in your companionship, a familiarity that went beyond any tension.

Lost in your thoughts, you steal glances at Danny, noting the way the lights danced across his features, casting a soft glow on his easy smile. Memories continue to flood back in your mind, intertwining with the present moment. You recall the laughter you've shared, the secrets whispered, and the countless hours spent together. But now it seems like you've spent just as many hours apart.

Lost in reflection, you barely notice when Danny's arm falls from your shoulder and he stops walking.

You stop too, turning to face him, confusion on your face. "What's up?"

He meets your eyes, his expression unreadable for a moment before he takes a deep breath as if steeling himself. "I know I shouldn't bring this up now, especially after all this time, but…"

Your heart skips a beat, anticipation and a tinge of anxiety rising in you.

He looks down for a moment, gathering his thoughts, before meeting your eyes again. "...I never stopped thinking about you, you know. Even after all these years, even when we were apart."

You feel a rush of emotions within you, "Danny…"

"I know it's complicated, and I don't expect anything from you. I just needed to say it, to let you know."

You're taken aback by his confession, you feel surprise, uncertainty, and a flicker of something you dare not name. For years, you've kept your feelings tucked away, buried beneath the weight of missed opportunities.

You don't speak, but you can feel a small smile start to tug at the corners of your lips.

You laugh a bit, shaking your head, and step closer to him. You're amused by just how much time the two of you have wasted.

He smiles back.

Neither of you have to say anything. The expression in your eyes and the ease with which your arms wrap around his neck and his hands find your hips say enough.

You feel his warm breath against your lips as he leans in closer, closing the gap between you. The world seems to fade away, leaving just the two of you in that moment, suspended in time.

It's a gentle yet passionate kiss, filled with years of longing and of the realization that perhaps fate had brought you back together for a reason.

After that reconnection, you two didn't waste any time. It felt as though the universe had conspired to bring you back together, and you weren't about to question its timing.

You officially started dating soon after, diving headfirst into a relationship that felt both exhilarating and comforting.

Years flew by in a blur of shared laughter, quiet moments, and unforgettable adventures. You celebrated milestones together, from anniversaries to Daniel's achievements in racing, always by each other's side through thick and thin.

You couldn't be happier. Your families couldn't be happier. Even the fans couldn't be happier. Childhood best friends to lovers. It was perfect. Everything was perfect. For a while it really was.

32 years old

"What do you think?" Daniel holds a ring in between the two of you. It wasn't some over-the-top gesture, he didn't get down on one knee; he knew you wouldn't want that.

So tonight he brought up the question, he asked if you would marry him.

"Daniel, I..." you trail off uncertainty in your voice. You look at the ring and then back up at him.

Daniel feels a lump form in his throat. This wasn't the reaction he was expecting. What made it worse was the seriousness in your voice.

"What's wrong?" His brows furrow.

"What does the future look like after this?"

He should've known you were going to ask this. You two were lucky in that your relationship had little tension. You rarely fought, even after the many years spent together. But there was one point of contention, even more so lately: Family. Kids.

During the first few years of dating, you two were always pestered about marriage and kids. Then, the two of you said it wasn't the right time. There was no rush to get married, to start a family. Not back then. But it's been eight years and now you're the one who's been trying to bring up the topic. You certainly didn't need a diamond ring from Daniel to cement your relationship, but starting a family with him was something you wanted. But Daniel was never as clear in what he wanted.

"You really want to get into this right now?" He sounds a little annoyed.

"We need to talk about this. I can't ever get a straight answer out of you." You start while shaking your head. "I'm ready to settle, Daniel. Soon. And I can't tell if you want that too. I want to start a family and I want that to be with you, but every time we try and talk about this we just put it aside for another day."

"Baby..." he trails off, his hand holding the ring falling to his side.

You cross your arms over your chest. "No, I'm serious. You know we don't have forever to decide this."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Tell me where you see us after this. Is it still just racing?"

"We do both," he says.

"I don't want that. I know it's not fair to you, for me to ask this. But I don't want to do it alone. I can't."

He takes a step closer, "You wouldn't be alone."

"No Daniel, I would. It's inevitable."

You're right. He could try his best, but there was no way he could be there every step of the way while starting a family. Racing was just too demanding and time-consuming.

"Are you seriously doing this to me?" his voice cracks.

"I'm sorry," you choke out. "I love you so much okay? But tell me the solution to this. I'm not going to ask you to stop racing." You've been with him through his whole career, you know how much work he's put in. How much he loves it. And you know he's not ready to stop yet.

He runs his hands over his face. It was an impossible decision. A gut-wrenching situation. But Daniel's stomach drops because he knows you're right.

"So what? We're breaking up right now?" His voice is laced with anger.

"Don't be like that." You're hurt by his tone.

"Be like what? We've been together for almost eight years and you want to end it just like that. I just asked you to fucking marry me!"

"Eight years of me following you, Daniel! My life has revolved around wherever you have to be, where you have to race. And that's fine, I didn't complain because it wasn't all bad. And I love you so what did it matter? But I'm tired of it Daniel."

He doesn't say anything and the two of you just look at each other.

Finally, Daniel speaks, "So this is it?"

You bite the inside of your lip. It seemed like Daniel made a decision, you weren't surprised by it, but it still hurt. Racing was his everything.

"I guess so."

Daniel runs his hands through his hair and turns away from you.

"What a waste of time," he mutters.

You feel your brain go numb and you can't believe what you've just heard. This wasn't easy for you. You weren't happy about it either, not one bit.

Before the two of you got together, you didn't even want to start a family. But eventually, that changed, and when you became a mom you wanted it to be with him, it was supposed to be with him.

"Are you fucking serious?" You snap back at him.

"What else would you call this? It's been nearly a decade."

"So none of it even matters anymore? You can be mad at me, but what the fuck is wrong with you." You're awestruck at how he is handling this situation.

"What the fuck is wrong with me? You're the one making me choose between you and my career." He answers angrily.

"And you chose."

"I guess I did."

You knew that you would love again. But the months after you and Daniel broke up were difficult. The two of you didn't talk at all. You coordinated move-out technicalities through friends and family members. Any trace of one another on your social media was wiped clean, which was nearly your whole account considering you'd been together so long. Plus the fans and media did not take the situation lightly. Your comments were always filled with things about him, and vice versa on his accounts.

But eventually, things slowed down.

You just left social media altogether and started a quieter life in Australia, without him. Eventually, you met someone and you started to make amends with the situation. You moved on. Your new boyfriend is a gentleman. And soon he became fiancé, then husband. And you're content.

Daniel focused on racing. He avoided the ongoing questions about you from the media, from his team, the rest of the grid. He avoided the silence in his drivers room without you in it. He avoided the empty space next to him as he traveled the world. But eventually, he moved on too. The late-night drinks over you turned into drinks with friends. He knew he could be content again too...

37 years old

Daniel could feel a wave of anxiety wash over him as he walked up the front stairs of your childhood home. He hadn't been here in years. He hadn't seen you in years. For the last few family events, you and Daniel were never there at once. He'd go to one, you'd skip, the next one, you'd go and he'd skip.

But it's been five years since you broke up. It's been five years and he knows you've gotten married. He hasn't met your husband. He knows you've had a kid. He hasn't met your daughter.

It's been five years and your families have gotten sick of walking on eggshells around the two of you. Especially since it seems like both of you have moved on. So they put their foot down and said you both had to come.

Daniel walks into the house and is welcomed by the familiar sight of both your family members bustling around, preparing for the gathering. There's a mix of nostalgia and apprehension within him as he scans the room, searching for a familiar face.

"Daniel!" Your mother's voice cuts through the chatter, and he turns to see her approaching him with a warm smile. "It's been too long. How have you been?"

He manages a small smile in return, "I've been good, thank you. How about you?"

As they engage in small talk, Daniel can't help but steal glances around the room, his heart pounding in his chest as he anticipates seeing you again. He wonders if you're here yet, if you're as nervous as he is about this encounter.

"Oh, come here!" your mother calls out, beckoning a man that Daniel doesn't recognize. Daniel's heart sinks as your mother introduces your husband. Daniel extends a hand, forcing a polite smile as he greets him.

"It's nice to meet you," Daniel says, trying to ignore the knot of jealousy tightening in his chest.

Your husband offers a friendly smile in return, shaking Daniel's hand firmly. "Likewise, Daniel. She's told me so much about you."

Daniel's smile feels strained now, the weight of the situation bearing down on him. He can't help but feel like an outsider in this moment, a silent witness to the life you've built without him.

"Speaking of her," your husband says as he looks around the room, "she might be in the backyard."

Daniel nods, his heart sinking even further at the mention of you. He forces himself to maintain his composure, offering a polite nod to your husband before excusing himself from the conversation.

As he makes his way through the house, Daniel can feel the weight of the past five years pressing down on him. He wonders what he'll say to you, how he'll navigate seeing you after all this time.

Daniel freezes as he catches sight of you in the backyard, playing with a little girl who bears a striking resemblance to you. His heart skips a beat at the sight, a mixture of emotions swirling within him. He hadn't expected to be hit with such a strong reminder of the life he could've had with you.

You look up and notice him standing there, and for a moment, time seems to stand still as your eyes meet. There's a flicker of recognition, a hint of surprise.

"Hey Daniel," you say, your voice soft.

"Hi," he responds.

There's a brief pause, a silent acknowledgment of the years that have passed, the wounds that have healed, and the memories that still linger.

As you stand up, Daniel notices the slight baby bump under your dress.

"Congratulations," he manages to say, his voice laced with genuine warmth despite the turmoil he's starting to feel. "I didn't know that you were expecting."

You offer him a small smile in return, a mixture of gratitude and sadness shining in your eyes. "Yeah, I'm only a few weeks along."

There's a heavy silence between you, you both struggle to find the right thing to say.

You pick your daughter up and rest her on your hip, walking closer to Daniel.

"Can you say hi?" you ask her with a smile.

The little girl looks at Daniel with wide eyes, seemingly studying him for a moment before offering a wave.

"Hi," she says with a smile.

"She just turned two," you say, looking between her and Daniel.

Your daughter nods, still smiling.

Your husband comes out to the backyard, and you excuse yourself from Daniel for a moment.

"Here," he says grabbing your daughter from you. "Time for us to hang out, little lady," he says to her and then gives you a small smile. You return it and he goes back into the house, giving you and Daniel a moment to yourselves.

Daniel watches silently as your husband takes your daughter, feeling a pang of envy at the easy familiarity between the two of them. He knows he shouldn't feel this way, that it's irrational and unfair, but he can't help the twinge of jealousy that gnaws at him.

As you turn back to face him, there's a tense silence between you, filled with unspoken words and unresolved emotions.

"How are you?" he asks softly.

You glance away for a moment, gathering your thoughts before meeting his gaze again. "I've been good, thank you," you reply, your voice steady.

Daniel nods. "I'm glad to hear that."

"How are you?" you ask. "Racing seems like it's going well."

"Yeah, I'm loving it. It was shifty for a while, but I'm happy with how everything is going," he answers with a slight smile.

"That's great." You two sit down on the porch steps.

Side by side, legs slightly pressed against each other, it was a position you two had been in countless times. In this exact spot. But obviously, things were different now. So different.

There's a tension between you but despite it all, there's a flicker of something in your eyes, a hint of warmth and familiarity that draws him in.

"I'm sorry," Daniel says suddenly. "For everything."

You meet his gaze, your expression softening at his words. "Daniel..."

"What I said then. That it was a waste of time," he continues, his voice filled with sincerity. "It wasn't. Whether you were my girlfriend, or just best friend. Those years really did mean a lot to me."

You feel a rush of emotions within you, a mixture of sadness, regret, and longing.

"They meant a lot to me too," you admit.

You both struggle to find the right thing to say, the right way to bridge the gap that has grown between you over the years.

"I know it's too late for us," Daniel says softly, breaking the silence. "But I just needed you to know."

You nod, a lump forming in your throat as you fight to hold back tears. "Thank you," you whisper, your voice thick with emotion.

You hate that you still feel this way about him. That it's been years and you have a new life, your own family. You're the one who wanted this. You're the one who left.

But Daniel sits next to you and your mind wanders to what could be different.

He's here at your childhood home. Your family, your kid, your husband just inside.

But in all honestly, if Daniel asked you to leave to be with him and split.

Well, you'd at least have to think about it.

#f1 #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #daniel ricciardo #daniel riccardo x reader #daniel riccardo imagine #dr3 #dr3 x reader #dr3 imagine #danny ric #Spotify

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bananayuyu · 4 months

Text

Hopeless Desire

Pairing: Yunho x f reader

Genre: smut, fluff, bits of angst

Word count: 12.5k

Summary: You were Mingi's younger sister by six years, and had a crush on his best friend Yunho since you were nine. You harbored this crush for years, never thinking it would go anywhere. Little did you know, Yunho had recently started to feel the same. But you're his best friend's little sister, so what can he do?

Warnings: MDNI, smut, fingering, vague mentions of toxic family dynamics (honestly very vague), vague mentions of Mingi having mental health issues (also very vague), pls lmk if I missed anything!

A/n: This idea came to me a few weeks ago and I had to start writing it; hoping this reaches it's intended audience if it reaches anyone at all. Please enjoy :)

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You will never forget the day you met Jeong Yunho.

It was a humid summer day, the late August weather completely punishing. Only a few weeks before the start of school, your older brother Mingi had brought you along for the day at your mother's request, slightly begrudgingly. You and Mingi were close but there were six years between you, and at certain ages this age gap was challenging. The now fifteen year old didn't want his little sister disrupting his plans with his best friend. He tried not to let his feelings show, not wanting to hurt your feelings. He was just sad that him and Yunho couldn't spend the whole day by themselves.

Him and Yunho brainstormed appropriate activities for a nine year old, and finally landed on taking you to the popular amusement park in town. You don't remember your trip on the train, it was ten years ago now. But you do remember the important things. You remember walking up to the gates and seeing him standing there, struck by how tall he was. You remember him buying your ticket for you, and buying an ice cream for you. You remember him shielding your eyes from the sun while you stood in line for the most popular ride. You remember him making you drink water so you wouldn't become faint. You remember every little touch, every time he kept you from running into an oblivious man with a backpack hurrying through the crowd to find his family, or when he sat behind you and held you close on the scariest ride that even Mingi refused to go on. It was sweet, nothing but sweet then. Yunho was charmed by your excitement and energy. He had heard Mingi mention you many times over the past year and felt grateful to have met you. He knew Mingi was protective, despite it not being a common way for Mingi to feel. You were his little sister, after all.

From then on you saw him here and there, always extremely happy to. You always wanted to see Yunho, whenever you could. As you grew so did Mingi and Yunho, until suddenly one day you looked at them and saw young men, saw the beginnings of facial hair begin to sneak onto their faces as they both surpassed six feet tall. You were still in middle school just barely hitting puberty, your height still under five feet and body still unchanged. The boys began pursuing their careers, auditioning for the same company. You couldn't have been more proud. And then your body began to change and suddenly you weren't a total kid anymore, either. Suddenly you were in high school and life became more serious, more in your hands. All of the sudden, you began developing sexual attraction and soon your thoughts surrounded only one person. Jeong Yunho.

Your friends had teased you for years about having a crush on him, because you always talked so excitedly about seeing him. You always brushed them off and insisted he was like another older brother. But your thoughts had begun to change and now you wondered if they had been right all along. Yunho had always been kind and caring towards you, always made you feel safe when you were watching a scary movie or if the three of you had stayed out past sunset. So did Mingi, so you never questioned it. You never questioned how often he held your hand or offered carry you home, and you certainly never questioned how warm and delighted these actions made you feel. Until now.

All of high school was torturous. No one else made you feel the way Yunho did, but still you knew it could never happen. You were so much younger than him, and he was now becoming and idol with your older brother. There were countless circumstances working against you, and you knew it. No matter how often you touched yourself at night thinking of him, you woke the next morning knowing it was only a fantasy. So you went through the motions of high school, graduating with decent grades and not ruffling any feathers. You missed your brother and Yunho dearly, so after college you were determined to live near them again.

After being accepted into university, Mingi and Yunho helped you move into an apartment in the same building as the boys. You began visiting them often, being one of the few people they were permitted to have over to the apartment regularly. School was fine and you had friends, but nothing compared to being able to spend time with your brother and his closest friend, as well as the other members of their group. You played games with them, ate with them, watched movies with them. You always found yourself sitting next to Yunho, eating Yunho's food, and poking fun at him. You didn't intend to, but you couldn't help your immense crush from growing and growing. You found yourself dressing up to go hang out at their dorm, despite it being down time. You swore you would find him staring at you sometimes and then he would blink away once your eyes met his.

Then, when you were nineteen, the boys moved into three separate apartments. Mingi lived with San and Seonghwa, and now Yunho lived only with Yeosang, the two of them living in a cozy two bedroom apartment. This new arrangement was when everything changed, when the world finally opened up. Finally, you had alone time with Yunho.

"Can I come see the new place?" you were on the phone with Yunho, just a day after everyone had moved. You just finished visiting Mingi; Yunho now lived in the same building but one floor up.

"But nothing is set up yet, Yeosang was busy today and I've barely had time to set up my own room. You're gonna think we're pathetic," Yunho replied.

"You know I don't care, Yunho. I just want to see it. I'll come see it again once it's all set up, I'm sure." At your last sentence, Yunho snorted slightly. Then cleared his throat. An awkward silence followed. "What?" you asked, rolling your eyes. Why was he being so weird?

"Nothing, sorry. Of course you can come see it. I'll unlock the front door, just let yourself in."

You opened the front door to their living room, still mostly covered in boxes and tools. "Hi!" you called out just as Yunho exited his room. Yunho smiled when he saw you, then looked down and saw your flimsy sandals and looked concerned.

"Be careful y/n, there are nails and screws on the ground in here. Here just... come to the kitchen. I should work on putting things away in there."

With a hand on your arm and a hand on your back he led you into their small kitchen, letting go to begin unpacking some bowls and plates and placing them into a cabinet above the counter. You jumped up so you were sitting on the counter, swinging your feet back and forth and glancing around.

"I like your new place, it's really cute," you said, sincerely. The apartment was small but not too small, a perfect dwelling for two people. The kitchen was new and nice, and the living room had a large window that led to a small balcony.

"Cute?" he repeated with a chuckle, looking down at you. Despite being sat up on the counter, Yunho was still taller than you. You had only managed to grow a few inches between middle school and sophomore year of college.

"Yes cute," you say, giving him a sarcastic smile. "Just like you," you tease, pinching one of his cheeks. He pinches both of your cheeks in retaliation and then pinches your bare waist, causing you to yelp slightly. You playfully punch him in the arm, instigating a full on play-fight. Before you know it you're slipping off the counter and awkwardly landing, about to collapse embarrassingly onto the floor. But Yunho catches you and places you back on the counter again, giving you a stern look.

"I have important unpacking to do y/n, you should really stop distracting me," he says, his sarcastic tone contradicting his serious expression.

"Oh shut up," you say, sticking your tongue out at him.

"You still act like such a child sometimes," he replies. You pout, whispering out an involuntary sorry. You never want to annoy him. "No no, it's cute," he says, "it's just hard to believe you're an adult now. Hard to believe you're in your second year of college." You look at him and he's stopped stacking plates, the look in his eye somewhat distant. "I've known you for so long, almost as long as Mingi. Sometimes I feel like you're one of the only people I can trust who isn't one of the members. I hope you know I'm very thankful for that."

You are struck by his sincerity. It is not something you are accustomed to from him. Usually he is joking around, usually he is trying to make everyone laugh. You stare into his eyes for a moment, feeling like something has shifted. But you can't tell what. You want to reach out and hug him. You want to do more than hug him, you realize. You stare out of the living room window in silence, not realizing how much time has passed.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, sorry. You just never talk like that, I didn't know how to respond..." you look at him again but now he won't meet your eyes.

"I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable," he says, now busying himself again with stacking up the plates. You can feel the slight tension now, can see it in his shoulders and neck.

"No no, not at all. Yunho.." you scoot yourself slightly down the counter so you are right in from of him, and without thinking reach your arms out to hug him, snaking them around his waist. He reaches around your shoulders and pulls your head to his chest, resting his head on top of yours. "Sorry, I just didn't know what to say. I'm glad you feel that way. You mean so much to me, you know. You're so respectful and kind and..." you trail off, your voice slightly muffled by his torso. Above you Yunho is smiling, his eyes closed and the tension from his shoulders evaporating. His feelings for you had been slowly developing in the last year or so, but he always felt so awkward with Mingi and the other boys around. He has complicated feelings about your age. He feels guilty, but a little hug never hurt anyone, right? He kisses the top of your head and begins rubbing your bare low back, melting into your softness. He had been unpacking and setting up his room all day after moving heavy boxes and furniture in the morning. The fatigue is starting to get to him.

"I'm exhausted, you want to watch a movie or something? I got my little TV set up in my room," he asks.

"We should make some food, too," you say. "I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry," he retorts. So you punch him again. "And always violent too," he adds, laughing. So you shove him out of the way and grab some veggies from the fridge to make with some rice. "You always want to eat so healthy," Yunho jokes, rolling his eyes.

"Guess I'll just make enough for one then," you say, which earns you another pinch on your waist. This time you're armed with a spatula, so when he laughs at your squeal you go to threaten him with it. But he catches your arm before you can make contact, holding your forearm high above your head. Suddenly that tension is back, and you feel his body move towards you, the warmth in the air increasing every so slightly. You stare up at him, and then down, and you swear it's by accident but you find yourself staring right at his crotch. His slightly bulging crotch, you're fairly certain. But you're only staring for a moment before you realize and look back up, embarrassment making your cheeks go slightly pink. You feel your whole body flush, not just your cheeks. You feel heat run down your spine right to your core. You realize you want him holding you in this position, but in another context. This realization makes your cheeks redden even further. You feel your body tense and tingle, and suddenly it's too much, and he's just staring at you as if nothing at all is happening. You finally shove him away, the three seconds that elapsed feeling like an eternity.

"Go put something on, I'll have food ready in a sec," you say, trying to keep your voice steady. Everything that is happening today is unexpected, and you feel slightly dazed and very turned on. You did not think Yeosang wouldn't be home; you did not think you'd be getting alone time with Yunho.

After finishing your food the two of you settle into Yunho's bed, watching the Marvel movie he decided to put on. You don't entirely understand what is happening but he explains some things, and overall you are more focused on the fact that you are lying in his bed with his arms around you. He beckoned you to him as soon as you climbed in and of course you obliged. He began stroking your hair with one hand, holding you close to him with his other arm. You had cuddled up to him many times when the members all lived together, when it was dark in the room and everyone was watching a movie late at night. Realistically, this wasn't all that different. But this time, before you knew it, you had fallen asleep.

"Y/n," Yunho whispers into your ear, causing your awareness to suddenly return to you. You squint around, seeing the credits rolling on his little TV. You groan, the excitement of the day having zapped your energy, your head aching slightly. You yawn, deeply. You close your eyes again, snuggling your head into Yunho's chest and groaning again.

"I'm sleepy.." you slur out, squeezing your eyes shut and your eyebrows together.

"I know sweetie," Yunho speaks quietly so as not to disturb you, rubbing his hand on your back again to comfort you. "Just sleep here tonight. I have to get up early anyway, so you won't be late for college or anything. You just need to go brush your teeth, just use one of my extra toothbrushes." You groan again at this suggestion, which makes him laugh. "Come on," he says while hoisting you up, leading you on wobbly legs to his personal bathroom. He sits you up on his counter, pulling out an extra toothbrush for you and putting toothpaste on. You look at him through hooded eyes, your exhaustion still not escaping you. "You want me to actually brush them for you too?" he asks. You stick your tongue out at him again, your tired state bringing out the childishness ten fold. "Open up," he commands, and you obey. And he tries to brush your teeth for you, but finally your adult brain has somewhat caught up and your hand reaches up to finish the job yourself. "There you go," he says, and you bump into him to finally spit into the sink. After washing your face you stare up at him.

"I need lip balm," you pout. Yunho can't help but think you're the cutest person he's ever known. That pout does things to him, and he's beginning to wonder if you know. He pulls out his lip balm and begins rubbing it across your lips, running his thumb along your bottom lip. Your mouth involuntarily begins to open and Yunho feels himself getting hard again. He'd been trying to keep it at bay all afternoon and evening, but he's continually failed. He only hopes that you haven't noticed, in case it would freak you out.

Finally you are both ready for bed and Yunho leads you into his bed before joining you, coming to lay behind you and wrap his arms around your waist. He cannot believe this is happening; the timing was all too perfect. With Yeosang out for the day the two of you finally have time to yourselves, without having to tell anyone. He feels guilt start to warm his neck, but again pushes it aside. You're tired and in need of sleep, and all you're doing is cuddling, right? You've done this plenty of times before, and Mingi had no issue.

You begin to squirm, wanting to face him, wanting to see his beautiful face up close in the soft light of the night. You feel exhausted but there's something within you keeping you awake, not allowing you to miss such a rare opportunity. 'What's wrong?' Yunho whispers as you turn yourself around, but then he realizes you just wanted to be facing him. His breath hitches at the sight of your face only inches away from his. You reach up, gently brushing your fingers over his cheeks and jaw, then running one along his eyebrow and staring deeply into his eyes. You yawn, your body's exhaustion now fighting with your brain. But you remain awake, mesmerized by his beautiful face, his cheeks, his dark brown hair sweeping over his forehead.

"Yunho, what do you think of me?" you ask, pulling yourself closer to him still, your hand now latched onto his upper arm. He's come to rest his hand on your waist.

"What do you mean? I think the world of you, you know that. I'm very proud of how well you're doing at school. And you're very supportive of Mingi, which he needs. He's sensitive, and you don't make him feel bad for that. You're a very strong person, very understanding. Very good.." he trails off slightly, smiling at you in the dim light.

"No no, I mean, do you think of me like a younger sister? Like, how do you see me?" you're blushing from his kind words but you're tired and need to know the answer. It is all you've been thinking about all day.

"Well, no. Not anymore-" he starts.

"So you used to?" you ask, attempting to keep your voice from wobbling with worry.

"Yeah, when you were little. You were so little when I first met you, obviously I thought of you that way. But now you're grown up. You're very different now," he finishes. You take in a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. It was your biggest worry, that his kindness and teasing and protectiveness only came from him seeing you as a younger sibling. You sometimes worried he felt obliged to be nice because you were his best friend's younger sister. But something deep within you knew he felt more comfortable with you than almost anyone. You just didn't want to say it aloud, didn't want to admit it to anyone, even yourself. You didn't know what it would mean, or if it would mean anything. You worried it would upset Mingi, even upset the other members. You didn't know what your friends would think. All of these worries sat in the back of your mind simmering away, never dominating your thoughts but never fully disappearing. But the isolation of the night finally allowed you the chance to ask. And though his answer was vague, it was better than nothing. You were sure he thought of you as more than just a little sibling, and were pretty sure he liked you too. Again, you just didn't know what that would mean.

"I've never thought of you as a brother," you say, which earns a slightly surprised look from Yunho. The time and darkness makes you bolder than usual. "You're too attractive for me to think of you that way," you giggle from embarrassment, turning your gaze down so he can't meet your eyes. You expect him to laugh too, expect him to tease you for saying that. You expect him to tell you you're clearly exhausted and need to just go to sleep. But Yunho does none of these things. He swallows, and moves his hand from your waist to your cheek, gently stroking down to your jaw and moving your head up so you meet his gaze. Your eyes are large and full of surprise as they meet his.

And then his lips are on yours, soft and gentle and perfect. You feel his breath brush over your cheek as he opens his mouth, his tongue grazing your bottom lip and causing deep and rapid breaths to fall from your opening lips. The kiss deepens and he moves closer to you, your legs now intertwining, your hands moving up underneath his shirt to feel the warmth of his skin. It is not something you've done before yet the entire thing feels perfectly natural, as if you've known your whole life how to move your lips and tongue in sync with his. The feeling of his strong lean body makes your head feel fuzzy, and his large hand on your chin and neck make you feel suddenly small. It's unlike anything you've felt before and you realize you really like this feeling. The kiss has deepened further, and now Yunho is pulling back to suck and nip at your bottom lip, just the way he'd been thinking about all day. It sends sparks of pleasure down your spine and makes you involuntarily buck your hips against his leg that is resting in between yours. And then he's moving his hand down from your face to your hip, and sliding into your sweats, and finally into your panties to grab onto your ass and guide you to keep rubbing yourself against his thigh. You're desperately grabbing onto him and kissing him now, your need growing relentlessly.

Yunho wants to rip your clothes off, his mind entirely leaving him in the first moments of your kiss, but suddenly his brain is messing with him, reminding him of everything else. Your age, your relation to his best friend, and as far as he knew, your inexperience. It pulls at him, while simultaneously his body pulls him the opposite direction, towards you, towards your lips wet from his tongue, towards the warmth emanating from between your legs where you slowly are coming undone. He runs his hand all over you now, feeling the warmth of your skin now, feeling your hard nipples through your thin top. Of course, you had no bra on. It seemed to him that every time he'd seen you recently you hadn't been wearing one. He's pulled away so he can watch you face and hear your moans more clearly, and now he can watch you rub yourself on his leg, too. He's so hard at this point, it's becoming almost painful. He's never felt so turned on at seeing someone else's pleasure. You've never done something quite like this, never pleasured yourself without even taking off your pants, but Yunho's touches and kisses make you feel electric, like he's turned on a switch in your nervous system that's never been touched before. The small movements of your hips bring immense pleasure to your clit, and finally as you get closer and closer, a fogginess to your head. As if he can tell you're almost there, Yunho leans down to kiss your neck, one of your most tender areas. You feel a wave building in the depth of your stomach, a strong surge of electricity about to wash over you. And then you are nearly screaming, your moans high pitched and probably penetrating the walls of the apartment, and you suddenly feel warmth all over, a tingling in your fingers and toes. You've never come so hard in your life, or for so long. Your breathing is ragged and hard and you grab onto Yunho for dear life, riding out the feeling as long as you could. His hands are around you now, pulling you two closer still, planting kisses on your neck and cheeks and lips. You're completed slumped against him now, your muscles spent and loose.

"I came," you whisper, followed by a short giggle.

"I know," he says, also followed by laughter.

"How?" you ask. But you know you are silly for asking.

"It wasn't hard to tell, baby," he chuckles. His voice sounds distant, like his thoughts are coming at full speed again. He tucks your head against his shoulder and holds you tight. Contemplating for a moment. He's conflicted, but he knows what he should do. "Sleep now, you're exhausted. I'll set my alarm so you don't need to worry."

He wants to do more with you, to give you more. He wants to see the look of immense pleasure on your face again. He wants to undress you, to taste you, to feel your hot, wet pussy as you come again and again. He wants to be buried inside you, to be buried in your mouth. A thousand lewd images flash across his mind making him even harder. But he recoils from the images too, again feeling the sting of guilt. One time thing, he tells himself. It has to be. But he knows it won't be. He can tell by the way you cling to him, by the way you came so hard. He doubts anyone has even made you feel that good. He doesn't understand how, given that you didn't even take your pants off. But he doesn't question how much you loved it. That he knows without a doubt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You slept like a rock, and after a few challenging minutes, so did Yunho. You both woke to the sound of his alarm, groaning simultaneously and trying to stretch. You were still tangled together, your stretching arm nearly hitting him in the face. You giggled at his exaggerated look of shock. He finally untangled himself from you and went to use the bathroom, careful to not let you see the small tent still present in his pants. Was I really hard all night, he thinks, with amusement. When he's finished peeing and brushing his teeth he comes out again to find you still in bed, your head defiantly shoved in the pillow, dramatic sighs escaping your lips.

"Y/n, don't you have to leave for your first class in like an hour?" he says. You make a loud and defiant sound in response. He sighs, and drags off the blankets, picking you up and setting you in his bathroom again. "You are not going to be late to school after spending the night with me. Everyone would kill me. Now pee, I can't do that for you." Seeing your pout again, his stomach flips. "I know I'm sorry. I would if I could." He rubs your back comfortingly as you walk towards the toilet, and then he's out and closing the door and making you both breakfast.

In the bathroom you begin to wake up fully, feeling refreshed and happy. Memories of last night wash over you like gentle waves, lulling you into a state of pleasure and contentment. You still feel sensitive. You feel it all over, but especially between your legs. You saunter out to the kitchen, eyes dragging over Yunho's bare upper body. He is ladling soup into two bowls, so you run your hand down his back gently so as not to disturb him and make him spill. You don't see it, but his face betrays the way your touch makes him feel, the gentle touch sending sparks down his body.

But suddenly he is tense and moving, putting food down in front of you and saying, "eat." He runs to his room and returns wearing an oversized hoodie. You stare at him in silence as you eat, a notable strangeness present in the air. But you can't figure out what. He stares down at your legs, still bare. All you have on are your top and underwear. It seems like he wants to say something, but no words come out. You both finish your food in silence, and you begin cleaning up your bowls. And then you hear Yeosang's door open.

His room is closer to the kitchen, and within seconds he's standing like a deer in headlights, staring at you. Then, quicker then he came, he's running back to his room, apologizing repeatedly. "Sorry, sorry! I didn't know you'd be here!" he says as he darts down the hall, his near nakedness also making him embarrassed. Suddenly you feel very awkward, and dumb. You quickly finish the dishes and dash to Yunho's room, yelling, "I'm sorry, Yeosang!" as you pass his room. It's nearly time to leave anyway so you put on your pants and make sure your hair doesn't look crazy. You need to stop home before heading to class to change your clothes and grab your books. And you need to get out of this apartment as soon as possible. A creeping feeling runs up your back to your neck, a feeling you later realize was shame. You stand completely still, waiting for Yunho to finish using the bathroom, feeling frozen and about to crack.

Yunho steps out, dressed in a black suit with a white button up, his hair still slightly messy but styled just right. He quickly sits down to put on his shoes and you are mesmerized, unable to take your eyes off him. It was always Yunho in a suit that made your heart pound, more than almost anything else. He adjusts his laces and you watch his hands work, his long strong fingers adjusting the knot. You love his hands, always have. Always felt safe in them. Now as you stare, you can't help but remember last night when his hand grazed over your hard nipple, or when he grabbed your butt and pushed you down harder onto his thigh. His hands are perfect, long and lean like him. They have a quality you just can't name. God I'm weird, you think. A suit kink and a hand kink. But you know it's just him, it's just the way that he makes everything so-

"You okay?" his question snaps you out of it, and you look at his slightly concerned face staring at you.

"Yeah," you huff out, not really sure if you are. You want to talk about what happened last night, because things feel weird now. You have a feeling it's more than just the awkwardness with Yeosang, but you can't be sure. You don't know if you have time but-

"You've got to leave, you're gonna be late," Yunho's words pull you from your thoughts again, and you nod.

"You're being weird," you slap his arm, not sure how much to say. But his playful look seems to indicate you're fine.

"Weird? Me?" he jokes with you, turning you around and walking you out the door. You make it to the front door and he opens it, guiding you through. He brushes a hand through your hair and says, "have a good day." You want to kiss him, but he seems so distant.

"You too," you mumble through a slight pout, turning and walking yourself the several blocks to your apartment building.

The whole day was hazy, spent between flashes of the pleasure of last night and flashes of the awkwardness of the morning. What happened? you thought over and over, not sure if you were asking about the night or the morning. It seemed like Yunho didn't want Yeosang to know, and that you could understand. You worried about the other boy's reactions, too. But he was being weird with you in the privacy of his room too. Not mean or cold but just... weird. You can't pinpoint the feeling, and it's starting to drive you crazy.

You give yourself a day, too busy with classes and tutoring to give it much real thought anyway. But the next day, you are over waiting. On your way home from your last class you call him.

"Y/n!" he answers in a playful tone, like he usually does. Like nothing at all has happened.

"Yunho, we need to talk," you say, heart pounding slightly. "Are you busy?"

"Not at all, I just got home," he says, then pauses. "Are you okay?" his words are kind as always but his voice is laced with trepidation. It makes you feel nervous, because he's always the one who knows what to do. You like to follow his lead on things; he never sounds unsure.

"Yunho.." you say in an annoyed tone. You want him to read your mind, but you know you shouldn't expect that. You take a quick calming breath, steadying yourself. "Yes, I'm okay. But we haven't talked in almost two days and something sort of, important happened."

"My schedule has been very busy these two days, I hope you know I wasn't ignoring you," he sounds like he's carefully choosing his words, not wanting to take a wrong step. "Was there something in particular you wanted to say?"

You take a moment to steady yourself. You're walking up the stairs to your apartment now, slightly out of breath. But you want to get it out before you reach the front door.

"Were you upset or something, the next morning? You just seemed weird," you say, managing to keep your breathing steady.

"Of course not, not at all. I just-" he cuts himself off. Again, thinking through what to say next. "We really should talk in person, if we're going to talk about this."

"Is Yeosang home?" you ask.

"Yeah, he is."

"Come to mine, then."

"Your roommates won't mind?"

"No, we're all cool with having one or two people over unannounced. Unless you are planning on being very loud, it shouldn't be a problem."

"You trust me to be a well behaved guest?" he teases.

"Yunho..." you've entered your house now, smiling at your roommate who is finishing work at your small dining table.

"Okay, I'll be there soon. That okay?"

"Yes, see you soon," you reply, a sigh leaving your lips as you end the call.

"What was that?" your roommate Tae asks you.

"Oh, Yunho's coming over," you say, which earns an oooooh from him. "It's not like that, we're just gonna talk. It sounds like he doesn't want anything else to happen, but I can't tell. I don't know..."

You moved in with your roommates Tae and Nari at the start of your second year of college, having finally met a few people at your school that you really connected with. Tae was small and delicate, a pretty boy amongst pretty boys in your school. Nari was tall and broad, with stunning short black hair and impressive shoulders. She intimidated you, the first time you met. As was your luck, the two of them were both seniors already. But thankfully they both got accepted into graduate school as well, and the three of you got to live out your college-roommate dreams. You had told them both what happened with Yunho the next day over dinner, both of them rapt and gasping dramatically at your story. You three were all quite busy, juggling school and work. Excitement like this didn't come often to the small three bedroom apartment you resided in. You liked it that way, mostly. But still, the excitement was fun.

"If he doesn't, he's crazy," Tae reassures you, sitting up from the table to come give you a hug. "We're here if you need."

You love the way you feel respected by the two of them, never prying into your life but also always making it known that they're there. They treated you like an equal, that was what you loved. They were a few years older but didn't always treat you like the baby. Not that you minded being treated like the baby, sometimes. But they respected all of you, respected that you could love childish things but also be incredibly responsible. They saw you for who you were, entirely. It was something you hadn't experienced many times in life with other people, and it had begun to shift your world view. You trusted yourself more, believed in your understanding of things. They gave you confidence, the way they treated you proving their words to be true. It was a truly special thing, knowing them.

As you walk down the hall to drop your books in your room, Nari greets you with a big hug too. "I heard," she says into your hair, "and I agree with Tae. How anyone could pass on you is beyond me." Her kindness was never-ending, despite her strong appearance. You patted her head as you walked past, thanking her.

Soon a knock came at the door and Tae answered it, welcoming Yunho in. Nari and Tae invite him in kindly, hope and anticipation present in their voices. They offered Yunho some tea, but he declined. He wanted to see you, wanted to get this talk over with. It wasn't that he'd been avoiding it, he had genuinely been busy. But he didn't want to wait any longer.

As Tae got back to his work Nari walked past you to her room, followed by Yunho. 'Keep it down tonight, our apartment is small,' she whispered teasingly, hoping to lift your spirits. It did, and you give her a joking glare. Yunho smiles at the interaction, having not heard her. But he can tell you like her, that you feel comfortable here. He's only been a few times, and only met each roommate twice. He likes them, likes that you like them most importantly.

You lead him to your room, your book bag slumped against your desk, your double bed taking up nearly half of your small room. You loved your room, loved the books and legos and plushies that covered your shelves, your colorful wardrobe full of old clothes Mingi had given you and all your favorite shirts you still had from high school. It was cozy, small. And Yunho had never been in. Very few people had, it wasn't something you allowed very often. Today you decided you'd make that exception.

You sit on the floor with your back against your bed and Yunho joins you, his long legs stretching far beyond yours. He looks at you but you can't meet his gaze, the feeling of rejection already creeping up to your throat.

"What were you going to say?" you ask.

"Can I ask how you are? You seem upset," he starts.

"I'm fine. I just know what you're gonna say. You don't want that to happen again, do you? You still do think of me as immature, don't you?" you aren't hysterical, just slightly edgy. You try hard but can't keep the slightest bit of tension from your voice.

"Y/n, I-" Yunho cuts himself off with a sigh. "No, I do not think you're immature. But do you really think it's a good idea? What would Mingi think? It's not like he ever said, 'you can't pursue my sister,' but I really doubt he'd be totally fine with it. And the other members? I lied to Yeosang, told him you slept over because you were helping me unpack until late. But I doubt he believed me. He said, 'it's fine, it's fine. Just tell me when she's over so I don't embarrass myself.' But you know Yeosang, too kind for his own good. He knows, it was obvious. I don't think he'd tell Mingi. I just..." he trails off. Sighs again. "You're nineteen." He says this part with emphasis.

You sit contemplating what he's said, a swirl of feelings running through your chest and stomach. Sure, your brother might not approve. Sure, you're nineteen. Sure-

"Do you remember when I said you're one of the only people I trust who isn't one of the members? I can't lose that." Yunho speaks firmly, like he's trying to convince you both of something.

"You won't, you won't ever lose that. I mean it. No matter what happens, Yunho. I'm not going to resent you, for anything. I know you, you won't hurt me. You take care of me, look out for me better than almost anyone. It would never come to that," you reply.

Yunho sighs, his hand coming to rest on your lower back, his body unable to keep from touching you in some way. He can tell you're tense and wants to alleviate it. It's all he ever wants when he's around you, to hold you and tease you and make you forget all the stress of normal life.

"I worry, though. I worry I'll upset you, that something will go wrong."

You sit thinking, releasing a long slow breath through your nose, closing your eyes and focusing on your feelings. "Who cares what anyone thinks? This is something between us, not them. So what does it really matter? Honestly, Mingi will probably just feel jealous at how close I am to you more than anything. And I personally don't care what anyone else thinks. I know you're closer to the members than me and have to live with one, but why should we have to do what they say? It's our lives. We are all adults, everyone can deal with their feelings if they have them."

"But I'm so much older than you, remember that girl from your freshman class. Wasn't that older guy pursuing her, and you told me how you thought it was creepy and-"

"You mean that girl that our professor was pursuing? He had a reputation of doing this, of every year dating a different freshman girl. He had done it since being a graduate student apparently, and had continued when he became a professor. That's way different than our situation. You aren't my boss or my professor or something."

"Fine, you're right. But I bet your friends will think I'm creepy," Yunho sighs.

"I can guarantee you that's not true," you respond, now looking him in the eye.

"How?"

"I already told them. And they definitely didn't think that. They though it was cute."

Yunho's lips break into a faint smile, the first smile you've seen all night. He runs a hand through your hair; he loves how soft and long it is. His insides are churning, his brain unable to come to a decision. You can sense the uncertainty. You want to make him feel relaxed too. So you scoot over and climb on top of him to hug him, tucking your face into his neck. You sigh, a sleepy haze falling over you. You stay like that for a while, Yunho's arms around you holding you tight. He plants a kiss on your temple, melting at the way the kiss makes you smile.

"I'll need to think about it. The last thing I want is to cause you pain," he finally concludes. You sit up, attempting to keep the disappointment from your face. You don't want to force anything on him. But you can tell it's other people's judgement that's holding him back, not his own feelings. Face to face with him, you stare across his beautiful cheeks and lips, not until now noticing he still had makeup on from whatever he filmed today. You reach up and touch a gem under his eye and he smiles at your curious look, like you've discovered something remarkable.

"I should go, I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" he asks. You nod, climbing off of him so he can get up. Once standing he gives you a hug, wishing to reassure every cell in your body. But he still doesn't know what he's going to do. You lead him out and you roommates say their goodbyes, and finally he's out the door and the door is closing, and you stand staring at it for a second, not sure how to respond.

"So?" Tae asks, still sat at the table. Nari is now at the stove tending to a large pot.

"I don't know, I don't know.." you mumble into your hands, covering your face.

"Come here, have some ramen," Nari says, setting a steaming bowl on the kitchen counter next to you. You dive in, patting your head on her shoulder in thanks. The three of you sit at the small table now, all aggressively slurping the delicious ramen Nari made.

"That boy needs to figure it out," Nari says, making you nearly snort out the broth you are swallowing.

"That boy?" you say, raising your eyebrows and giggling.

"Yes that boy, he's being silly. I don't like that he's messing with your feelings."

"It's not so bad," you say. "I understand his worry. My brother, he can be quite jealous sometimes. He's sensitive. Neither of us want to hurt him."

"It's your life," Tae chimes in.

"I know, that's how I feel too," you say.

"Let's watch a movie tonight, none of us have to be to campus until ten tomorrow, right?" Nari says. You both nod in agreement, finishing the last of your food. You get up to start cleaning but Tae beats you to it. "It's my turn, I haven't in a few days," he says, so you give him your signature pout and thank him and walk to your room. You finally change into your pjs, your favorite sweats and cropped loose shirt combo that you wear a little too much. You sigh and look at yourself in you mirror, wondering how old you really look. You're short but not skinny, you definitely don't look childish in your body. Since puberty a small roll of fat sits on your lower stomach, above thick thighs and a pronounced butt. You always felt like your lower body didn't match your upper body, which had remained almost as small as when you were a child. Apart from your boobs, of course. They were sizable too, now that you really looked at them. Since when did I become so womanly? you think to yourself. It must have been while you were focused on school and work, focused on getting Mingi through his challenging years right after debut. You keep staring, your vision feeling almost warped. You didn't spend a lot of time thinking if people found you attractive, you realized. And that was a strange thing for a young woman. It had only ever been Yunho you thought of. But it never felt like a question to you, whether he thought you were attractive. Why hadn't you questioned it? Your thoughts start spinning and you stare at a body in front of you, warping more as your legs get even bigger and your shoulders even smaller. You think of how tall he is, of how mismatched the two of you probably look next to each other.

You snap yourself out of it, knowing there was no point to the thought spiral you were headed toward. You walk out to the kitchen as Tae is finishing the last of the dishes and Nari is turning on the TV, just in time to hear the knock on the door. The three of you look up in sync, a similar look of confusion on your faces. No one ever really knocked on your door here, your neighbors just texted. You slowly walk to the door, opening it in utter confusion.

Standing on the landing is Yunho, now barefaced, in his own favorite sweats and t-shirt. He is out of breath, a light breeze blowing his hair off his forehead, revealing the lines between his eyebrows made from concern. He stares at you, catching his breath. The moment stretches, the look of utter surprise never leaving your face.

"Can I come in?" he finally asks.

"Of course," you say, stepping aside to let him through the doorway. You close it gently behind you. Yunho and your roommates awkwardly greet each other again and you give them both wide-eyed looks, totally unsure of where this is headed. They give each other a knowing look as you and Yunho leave the room, headed straight for your bedroom. You close the door behind yourself, leaning against the back of it. Yunho stands in front of you, his eyes meeting yours with intensity.

"Why- what did-" you stumble over your words, making both of you laugh. "Why did you come back?" you finally manage.

Yunho opens his mouth as if you talk but nothing comes out. Instead he takes a step forward, closing the distance between you, and his lips are on yours again, his hand on your jaw. This time it isn't so gentle, so delicate. This time it's hot and intense in an instant, your legs feeling like they might give out. You reach out and pull him close to you, opening your mouth to let him in. Wherever he wants to go, you will let him. His tongue brushes over yours, his body moving closer and nearly crushing you into your door. A soft moan escapes your throat, the feeling of his tongue on yours making your pussy throb. The kiss makes your body feels so intense, it's as if he's licking you everywhere.

Eventually he pulls away, his hand still on the side of your face, his lips wet and slightly swollen. "I went to go home and think about things, but I just kept thinking of kissing you," he says. "I can't stop thinking about the other night. You've messed me up."

You smile and turn your head down in shyness, his words causing pride to swell in your chest. Maybe this is affecting him as much as it's affecting me, you think. Maybe he really does feel the same. You look up and reach to touch his face too, leaning up to kiss him again.

Before you know it you're swept up into his arms, Yunho spinning you to move closer to your bed. Your eyes are closed and your lips still on his; you feel momentarily like gravity doesn't exist, like you are flying. He sets you down gently, your head coming to rest on your large stuffed bear that never leaves your bed. He's almost crushing you again, this time into your mattress, his mouth ravishing every part of you he can. You feel his leg between yours, the deep pressure relieving some of the intense need you are feeling. His mouth on your neck, on your ear sends intense sparks down your entire body, a gentle moan leaving your lips as he sucks hard on your neck, not worrying about the potential physical consequences of his actions. His hands are under your shirt know, his fingers gentle brushing over your already hard nipple. He lifts your shirt, momentarily in awe of what he is seeing, and then dips his head down to suck gently on your left breast. A low moan escapes him now, as he relishes the feeling of your hard nipple in his mouth, again feeling the intense warmth emanating from between your legs. He cannot believe you have granted him this access, cannot believe he can make you feel so good. He's inexperienced too, given what he does for work. But the connection between you is palpable, so strong that no practice is needed. It all comes so easily, the communication, the affection, the way he can read your body and face and sounds so easily. It fills him with warmth, the feeling of being so connected to you. He wants more and more, wishes it were never-ending.

But he feels he must be careful. As he continues sucking on your nipples, continues running his hands everywhere he can, he feels your desperation as you move your hips against his. He lifts his up and down just slightly, the movement making you moan again in utter bliss. You imagine how good it would feel for his hips to snap against yours without layers of clothes between. Being this intimate with someone always made you nervous, but with him it simply was a need. You move your hips again, hoping it'll make him continue to move his, and it does, illiciting moans from you both. You reach under his shirt and start pulling it off, needing to feel more of him, and he finally pulls yours over your head too. And then his mouth is on yours again, his hips and his tongue moving as if connected, the slow drags of his tongue on yours making you feel almost light headed.

"Yunho..." you moan between kisses, needing him to focus his attentions elsewhere. You're beginning to feel terribly empty and jittery with anticipation. And he can tell, he really feels like he can read your mind. He moves back, just enough to begin pulling off your sweatpants and panties, slowly and deliberately to make sure he's doing the right thing. You lift your hips to help him, fighting the urge to turn your head. You don't exactly feel embarrassed, but you're so exposed now. Naked in front of him for the first time the questions finally surface. Does he like my body? What does he think of the fat on my stomach? He can see your thoughts racing behind your eyes, the way your jaw sets slightly when you're concentrated. He leans down to kiss you again, hoping to reassure any doubts.

"Can I touch you?" He says it with such warmth, such care. You feel your body turn to putty.

"Please," you say, only a whisper. You can't help the small line that forms between your eyebrows from your begging, or the slight pout that forms on your lips. That pout. Yungo can't stand it much longer. He reaches down to your thighs, spreading your legs gently. He sees how wet and pink your pussy looks, feels how soft and plush your thighs are. God, I just want to ruin her, he thinks. And then scolds himself. Since when did he get this way?

Finally his long fingers are moving up your thighs to the apex, to the place you need him. He brushes his fingers over the small patch of hair that sits there. And then finally his thumb dips into your folds, feeling the slick wetness in its entirety. He moves his finger down slowly and then back up, finally brushing over your extremely sensitive clit. You can't help but moan, loudly. Your legs open, body completely bare; you feel totally at his mercy. He begins to rub gentle circles over your clit, the feeling electric and warm. He can feel it too, can see the way your pussy clenches when he hits just the right spot. He spends a moment just watching, completely entranced by the beautiful site of you spread open for him. He now takes his other hand to your entrance, lightly pressing with two fingers to gauge your response.

"Fuck, Yunho, please," you say as you push yourself down onto his two fingers, your pleading words rocketing through him. He sinks his fingers into you, relishing the warmth of your tight pussy. He can tell two fingers is a lot for you, so he works them in and out slowly, helping you get used to the feeling. He curls them up just right, finding that spot inside you that makes your eyes roll back and your back arch. You've never felt such pleasure before, the stimulation in both spots making you feel entirely singular to this moment. You can feel a wave building again, this time intensely and quickly. Before you know it you're grabbing a pillow and covering your face, attempting to stifle the loud moans escaping you. You cannot help it, the feeling of his fingers inside you making you come undone so suddenly, shuddering and screaming as you fall over the edge. Yunho watches you clench down around his fingers, clenching so hard as you come that he can barely move them anymore. Eventually his finger on your clit feels far too overstimulating so you grab it to make him stop, removing your pillow to allow yourself room to breathe. He sits there for a moment, fingers still inside of you, unable to stop himself from looking you up and down over and over again. After a few exhausting breaths you open your eyes and look at him, seeing how how worked up he is, his flushed skin and his rapid breaths, his pupils blown far larger than you've ever seen. He pulls out of you slowly, not wanting to cause you even a moment of discomfort. And then he's slumped down next to you, kissing you sweetly and holding you, helping you onto your side so he can spoon you and hold you tight.

"You take it so well," he says, his voice still laced with lust. The depth of it sends sparks through you; his kisses on your neck and cheek are soft but possessive. You feel it then, for the first time, how much he wants you to be his, how deeply he's attached to you. It's like a warm, gentle wave has washed over you and now you're drifting out to sea. A feeling of floating, of being devoid of worry. You feel as light as ever despite the exhaustion your intense orgasm has left you with. But you can feel how hard he is against your ass, and feel like you should please him too. You turn yourself over to face him, kissing him and moving your hands down, grazing over his bare abdomen and then over his sweats until you find him hard and straining. But as you do his hand comes down to grab yours, and he's moving it away.

"Sweetie, you need to get some sleep. I can tell how exhausted you are." You whine, earning a chuckle from him. But you aren't going to push anything. You like being pleasured, that's for sure. And now that the aftershocks have subsided, you are left in a blissful and sleepy state.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You wake with a bit of a start, not having slept so deeply in a long time. Yunho is next to you, your blankets pulled up over your naked body. You see now that he is naked too, having thrown all of his clothes on the floor of your room. You wriggle towards him to cuddle, waking him up in the process. He yawns loudly, running his hand through his now messy hair. He sleepily grabs onto you, placing a kiss on your forehead.

Your bladder beckons you to the bathroom so you climb over him as carefully as you can. You aren't really thinking much, the grogginess of the morning still weighing heavily on your eyelids. As you are washing your hands you finally take a good look at yourself, suddenly noticing a dark spot on the side of your neck that looks out of place. It takes a few moments for you to register but then you realize what it is, and run a hand gently over the bruise left by Yunho. You snort, feeling ridiculously happy to have physical evidence of the previous night.

You exit your bathroom to find Yunho nearly fully dressed, pulling his shirt over his head and grabbing his keys and wallet from your bedside table. His energy feels tense again, even with his back to you. It's impossible for you to not feel it. You stand awkwardly at the doorway, simply observing. Finally you walk over to put your clothes back on too, not wanting to sit in the uncomfortable tension you've walked into. You have to pull off your blanket to find your shirt, which had somehow found itself near the foot of your bed. All this movement in total silence has you again confused, but this time your confusion is laced with anger as well, anger that if Yunho didn't want this to happen again he really shouldn't have come back. Now you do feel like he's messing with you, a bit. It's only happened twice, but you know he already knows how he feels. He just isn't being totally honest with himself.

"Do you want any coffee or breakfast?" you ask, wanting to be a pleasant host despite your frustration.

"No no, I really should get going. Thank you though," he says, now finally looking at you. His eyes are slightly puffy and his hair is a mess, and you can't help but admire how adorable he looks first thing in the morning. You stare for a second, your expression unchanging as you try to keep all of the conflicting feelings inside you at bay.

"Fuck, did I actually leave a bruise? I didn't think I was being that rough..." Yunho walks towards you and pushes your hair out of the way to get a good look at the mark he left on your neck. "Fuck, I can go get some makeup to cover it up, if you'd like. I've watched our makeup artists do it a lot." You brush his hand away, this time unable to keep the irritation from your expression.

"Yunho, it's fine. I can put makeup on it myself if I need to. Or wear a scarf or a shirt that covers it or really... I don't care. I don't mind it, actually. Can you please just go? You obviously don't want to be here." Yunho's face looks immediately concerned; his hands hang awkwardly at his side like he doesn't know what to do with them.

"You like that bruise on your neck?" he asks.

"I don't mind it," you retort, not even looking at him. The frustration you feel is threatening to spill out in tears, and you don't feel like crying right now. You realize in a split second that this is all so silly, that so little has happened. You don't want to be childish.

"Yunho, I'm upset because both mornings after we've spent the night together, you seem obviously tense and uncomfortable and it seems like you regret what has happened between us. If you don't want this, I wish you would just tell me. I'm not going to be severely hurt, I will be fine. It seems like you like me, but maybe it's just convenience? I know you don't have many opportunities to date or hookup with someone who you know won't go and tell the world about it. But if it doesn't feel right, just tell me. I feel like you're messing with me."

"I-" Yunho stops himself short. He wants to choose his words well, wants you to understand completely. "Of course I like you, y/n. It's not just convenience, god no. I wish I could spend every night with you..." he stroked his hand frustratedly through his hair, making it appear even messier. "It's Mingi, I keep thinking about Mingi. Don't you? I haven't talked to him about it yet and it's eating at me. I have to talk to him before anything else happens. I feel like we're betraying him by not telling-"

"I really don't think he'll be that upset," you say, to keep both of your fears at bay. You really don't know how he'll react. And you haven't spent one on one time with him in a little while. You text every day to check in, of course. But it had been a few weeks. You sigh intensely, tears welling in your eyes. You wish desperately that you didn't have classes today.

"How can you be sure?" he asks, wondering if you know something he doesn't. "Have you talked to him?"

You just shake your head, one of the welling tears now falling down your cheek. You wipe it gently, not wanting to make a scene.

"We both need to talk to him," Yunho says, stepping forward to hug you tightly, feeling torn up inside that he's upset you. Your head on his chest, the way you fit next to him makes his mind spin. It's the thought of Mingi's disapproval that scares him more than anything. Now that he knows you have feelings for him, it's almost like his whole life is written in front of him. He sees you in his life forever, just like he sees Mingi being his best friend forever. He sees both of you as anchors in his future, a blissful, wonderful future. But if Mingi disapproves, what will he choose? He knows he won't be able to pick one of you or the other. It feels too cruel. To him, more than anyone. He knows it's a little selfish, but it's truly how he feels.

"I will talk to him tonight, I promise. Have a family thing I have to attend in the evening but afterwards I will go and talk to him. And then we'll go from there. Okay?" He pulls your face away from his chest and kisses each of your rosy cheeks, then wipes the remnants of tears from them. He kisses you softly, wanting you to know he needs you. He hopes you can read how deeply he feels through his actions because he feels he has to wait with his words. He trails down to your neck, knowing you are particularly sensitive there, wanting to distract you from the intense emotion of the previous moments.

"Yunho!" you laugh and hit his arm, not wanting to be so turned on first thing in the morning. Knowing he has to leave in a few moments and won't be able to finish the job. He feigns injury at your strike, grabbing his arm and scrunching his face up in pain. As you laugh at him he takes his moment to pinch your side, his favorite way to mess with you. And then you're hitting at him again, laughing almost hysterically, forgetting everything that just happened. It was his goal and he feels lifted by hearing your laugh, by seeing your wide smile and a more playful glint in your eyes. He gives you a final hug goodbye and then leaves, and you find yourself alone in your quiet apartment, both your roommates still asleep.

As soon as he's left your apartment, a feeling of impending doom envelopes your chest. The thought of Yunho telling Mingi tonight, of Mingi feeling so mad at the two of you that he won't talk to you. Probably not forever, you hope. But you suddenly realize you must talk to him too. Must talk to him first. If only you didn't have stupid classes. At least you're out by 4pm today, so you can still beat Yunho over there. You decide you must; it feels like your only hope. You pick up your phone and call Mingi.

"Hi, what's up?" he answers, sounding happy. Your heart sinks more knowing you and Yunho will probably ruin his good mood later.

"Are you busy this afternoon? Can I come over after my classes?" you ask. The two of you never really waste time with niceties.

"Yeah you can come today, I'll be back home by 3 today. When are you done?"

"I'm done at 4, I'll come afterwards. Do you have food I can make for dinner?"

"Yes mom, I did actually go grocery shopping over the weekend." Mingi laughs at his own sarcasm.

"They grow up so fast," you sigh sarcastically back, hoping Mingi thinks it's funny. Sometimes it's hard for him to take good care of himself, but if you ask too sincerely if he's okay he'll feel upset sometimes too. Like your concern only reminds him how sensitive and fragile he is. So you have to fit in the questions amongst humor, subtly slip them in. You'd do anything for him, even something as simple as grocery shopping if he needed it.

"I should go, I should have left like five minutes ago. See you later, love you!" he says.

"Love you too, have a good day!" you respond. Now that you know you'll be seeing him your heart beats faster; already your nerves are fried at the idea that you'll be asking him, telling him everything. Not for nearly nine hours, you remind yourself. But it doesn't help. Your heart still beats, your body still shakes. You decide to head to campus early and start studying, because there's no way your morning will be relaxing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thankfully class is busy and full and you have several assignments that keep you occupied in the morning, so your day flies by. Your final class is done and it is 4 o'clock on the dot, your professor being determined to get home earlier rather than later just as the rest of you are. Your focus had remained fairly steady during class but as soon as you exit the room and start walking your heart is in your throat and your legs feel wobbly. I have to do this, you tell yourself. I can't let Yunho tell him first. You feel certain Mingi will feel particularly betrayed if that happens. And you want to test the waters first, to ask subtly. Like you know how to do with him. Yunho knows him well, but you aren't sure he's mastered that art as well as you have.

You enter Mingi's apartment to a big smile and big hug. It's hard for people to believe the two of you are siblings sometimes, because of how much taller he is. It is a bit of a genetic surprise to be so differently shaped. You don't even look very similar facially. But you do share the same sensitivity, even if you have been much better at managing it. No one really knows how sensitive you are, except him.

"How was your day, how's school?" he asks.

"Good good, today was fine. It's been going well," you respond, trying to keep your tone casual.

"Did you get your grade back on that paper?"

"Oh yeah, I got an A-," you say proudly.

"That's amazing! You said that professor is a tough grader, right?" he asks. You nod. "You're such a goody-goody. Always doing everything right."

"I like having my shit together. Makes me feel calm," you respond.

"You should try letting loose sometime, maybe you'd enjoy that too."

"I've never really been allowed to. Or able to..." you trial off.

"I know," he responds. He pulls you into a hug again, knowing exactly what you mean. He is eternally grateful for your maturity and level-headedness. It's always put him at ease. "You wanna watch something while we eat?"

"No, let's just talk. I haven't seen you in a couple weeks."

"We text like every day," he says.

"It's not the same," you say.

"I suppose you're right," he responds. He looks at you again, sensing something is slightly off. But overall he is struck by how content you seem. "You seem really happy lately," he says.

"I am," you respond, unable to stop a smile from forming on your lips at the thought of Yunho. "I didn't know it was obvious to anyone else."

"This whole last year you've seemed so happy," Mingi says.

"It's cause you seem happy," you say, catching yourself off guard with your honesty. Has it really been that? you think. Yes, it has. Mingi has finally seemed to be consistently feeling good this last year, and it's made you more content than ever. You momentarily consider not asking him about Yunho, not bursting his bubble.

After cooking and eating most of your food you finally gain the courage to say it. The whole evening has been a wonderful session of catching up on the last few weeks, of telling Mingi the silly drama happening with other tutors at your work and him updating you about the two managers that everyone thinks are secretly dating. You wish it could just continue on in the same way for a few more hours, wasting the rest of the day away with silly conversation. But your nerves have been eating at you all evening, gently at first. Now it feels aggressive; now your whole nervous system feels like a city at rush hour, jam packed with cars and accidents and people rushing their way to wherever they're going. You feel like you'll explode if you wait any longer.

"Have you talked to Yunho recently?" you venture, hoping it doesn't sound strange.

"Of course, I saw him yesterday. We had a photo shoot." Mingi pauses. "Why?"

"I was just curious," you say, not at all sounding believable.

"Y/n, you don't need to check on me, if that's what you're doing. Me and Yunho are still best friends, as always. Just because we don't live together anymore doesn't mean I don't see him or we're not as close."

Momentarily you feel relief at Mingi's incorrect assumption that you asked to check up on him. Momentarily you feel like you could escape the line of questioning you set up for yourself. You could just go along with it, just admit that you were checking up on him and say sorry, and then change the subject. Feelings soar through your chest, one of relief mixed with shame, and one of anxiety mixed with pride. Just push through, just fucking push through, you tell yourself. You breathe, steadying yourself. Mingi knows this look, this breath that you take.

"Y/n, what's wrong?" he asks.

"Mingi, I need to tell you something. It's about-" just then you are cut off by loud knocking at his front door.

"Who is it?" Mingi asks, not wanting to get up from the table.

"It's me. It's Yunho." You body freezes, your eyes widening. Mingi stands up to go open the door but you are unable to turn and follow him. You stay still as if glued to your chair. You look at the clock, which reads 7:47. Is he really done with his family thing already?

"What's up?" Mingi asks Yunho, greeting him with a hug similar to the one he gave you.

"Mingi, I need to tell you something. I-" Yunho cuts himself off at the sight of you. You've managed to turn your head towards the door and your eyes catch on each other, an obvious tension palpable. You snap your eyes away; it felt like his were burning into your soul. You feel so stupid for having waited so long to tell Mingi.

Yunho can't stop looking at you, a mixture of concern and confusion clear in his face. And Mingi can't stop looking between the two of you, his own face twisted in confusion. You seeming nervous to say something didn't seem all that weird. You were emotional like him and prone to making a big deal of things, at least in the way you broke news to him. But Yunho's unexpected appearance and unexpected words really were not like Yunho at all. And the look he was giving you was so fully of intensity. Longing too, it seemed. Mingi's mind raced trying to put the pieces together. He thought he knew what this was about. He had been waiting for the two of you to say something. All of the members had been waiting. But now his little sister seemed hurt, and his best friend so confused?

"What the hell happened?" he asked, finally. It was all he could say.

#ateez #ateez yunho #ateez x reader #yunho x reader #yunho smut

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ivyinne · 5 months

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I feel like I'm in the minority here but I just feel like... I don't like Stuart. And I don't mean I think he's boring or reprehensible or a badly written character, I specifically mean that I don't think his relationship with Neil is as affectionate or parental as people make it out to be.

Fanon Stuart is overwhelmingly portrayed as someone who cares about Neil. Being actively involved in his life, sometimes to an unhealthy extent. Fanfics even go so far as to have Stuart fight for Neil if he ever incurs the Moriyamas' disfavour — and I love that relationship. I love that exploration, I love seeing a Neil who at least has his mother's family in his corner.

But in canon, we hardly have any evidence to support that version of Stuart. All of their encounters have an element of business to them; Stuart rescues Neil from Nathan but that wasn't what he came down there to do — he came there because he just really, really disliked Nathan. Finding Neil was unexpected, and the first thing Stuart did was leave him there as a distraction for the FBI.

Still, it's not like he could have helped things on that front. The same way he tells Neil he can't protect Neil after the whole deal with the Moriyamas has been struck — it's just not something that can be helped. In TSC, Stuart comes to meet Neil to walk him through a plan designed to protect the Moriyamas — because that's who Stuart has allied with, and that's who Neil belongs to. It's a business transaction with a common denominator, and I see very little evidence that these two have the sort of relationship fanon maintains they do.

I know there are crumbs here and there to indicate that they do have a positive relationship, I just don't think they consider each other family, or that there is even any uncle-nephew bonding going in. Neil orders the hit on Grayson, and Stuart treats it like it's a query from a stranger. Really, Stuart? It's your organisation and you're not even gonna offer your own nephew a family discount?! I know Neil has his blood money but he's spent so much of it — and he's a student!! Who has pledged 80% of his future earnings to a crime family!! Maybe just do him a solid this once?

I think it's best explained by this example — in the EC we came to know that the Moriyamas will eventually end up getting rid of Stuart in favour of another leader within the Hatford set-up, and that before doing so they will ask Neil if he's going to be a problem when it happens. And Neil will be pretty broken up about it, but he's certainly not going to be a problem.

Which is the crux of the matter: as the canon dynamics stand, Neil and Stuart's relationship is simply too regulated by a careful balance of politics and crime and power for them to ever view each other as family. They operate in fucked-up contexts and their normal interactions are too much the product of belonging to crime families and knowing the price of necessity. Do I think they're callous about each other? No. But there's certainly no overflowing familial warmth there either.

I love that fandom explores the potential of what their dynamic could have been. But I don't think it's canon. Feel free to share any disagreements or alternate reading you have of the text, though, because I'm really open to changing my mind! And I'm also really curious about why a large part of the fandom has interpreted Stuart as having such strong pride and attachment over Neil in the first place.

#tsc spoilers #the sunshine court #neil josten #all for the game #aftg #stuart hatford

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wasawattpadkid · 1 year

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Housewife

Part - 19

Summery: Billy and Stu have been planning these murders for quite some time. Everything is going to plan until you show up. What happens when they meet someone who is just as mentally deluded as they are?

Pairing: Poly! ghostface x fem!reader

Warnings for this series: murder, blood, smut (will be more in depth on smut chapters), power dynamics, a dash of sexism, knives, stalking, perverse behavior, cheating,

Part 1

Dewey looked at the boy with pity. Billy's right hand was wrapped in a white cast. He had spent an hour in the hospital setting his broken hand back in place. It was way worse than getting stabbed according to him. The officers on duty all thought the boy was hilarious. The makeup paired with the outfit he was a walking joke. Dewey only made matters worse. His coworkers almost died laughing watching the deputy sign his name on Billy's cast.

"I hear Batman is getting released," Todd said leaning on Dewey's desk. "Yes, Billy is being released I already called someone to pick him up." The deputy left his seat on his way to talk to the inmate.

"Stu said he's on his way," Dewey said taking a seat outside of the holding cell. Billy hadn't spoken much. The few times he did it was to give his statement on what happened or ask if you were okay. He didn't care about anything else. Billy was too busy planning on killing the fucker that laid his hands on you. "Did he say how Y/n was doing?" The boy's gaze stayed glued to the moldy ceiling. "No, just that he'd be on his way to pick you up. I told him about your hand." Billy looked at the deputy with a scoff. "That's great."

"What did you think he's going to miss that when he shows up to get you?" Billy had begged the doctor just to set his hand and leave it be. Turns out they can't do that. Now he was stuck with a heavy cast with Dewey's name on it. He didn't even agree to that the deputy just grabbed a marker and did it.

"I know seeing that mask set you off. That and what happened to Y/n. Look, you're not in any trouble. If Daniel decides to press charges the county won't prosecute you. It'd be a waste of time. You were protecting her and after all that's happened you don't need to worry about this." Dewey's change of heart confused Billy. Every time he's run into the officer he's been met with nothing but disdain and hostility. Now Dewey wants to act like his friend. "What happened to you? You hated me just days ago." Billy sat up on the bench making eye contact with the man.

Dewey realized what you said that day in the office was true. The three of you needed to look out for each other. At the end of the day, he felt bad for all of you. The ghost of the massacre would follow the survivors for as long as they lived. They were just kids. No one deserved what happened to them that night. Dewey hated himself for living through it and he was sure the three of you felt similarly. Survivor's guilt they call it. He read a book about it.

He pulled off his hat sitting it neatly on his lap. "It's been 26 days since I lost Tatum... Even less since the funeral. I can still hear her sometimes." His eyes focused on his shoes as he talked. "I couldn't save her. For a while I blamed Stu. How could her boyfriend who loves her let that happen? I know that Neil was the one who took her but I guess I needed someone else to blame." Dewey leaned forward looking up at Billy through the bars.

"I care about Y/n like I know you do. I treated you and Stu poorly because I saw what happened to the people you loved. That was messed up, I get that now and I'm sorry. I don't want her to go through what my sister did. You did a damn good job of taking care of her tonight."

Billy sat in silence. He didn't feel bad about what he did to Tatum. Neither did he feel bad about what he did to Sydney. It was necessary to move on with his life to start over. He felt It was fair considering what the Prescott family took from him. Maureen's choices shouldn't have fucked up his whole life but they did. Billy just leveled the playing field.

Listening to Dewey's sob story almost made the boy sick to his stomach. He didn't feel bad about what he did rather he felt horrible that he didn't care. Dewey wasn't his friend or his brother, he shouldn't care about his feelings. Yet here he was feeling sorry for the officer. "I can't lose her," Billy spoke in something akin to a whisper. His voice was broken almost as much as his hand.

"You've got a good head on your shoulders. You won't. After the stunt you pulled tonight I'd say she's in good hands." Dewey did think it was odd that Billy was able to move on so quickly from Sydney. He guessed that the boy was trying to fill the hole that abruptly appeared. Dewey couldn't blame him. He was doing the same thing. Where did that leave you though? After all of this, he didn't want you to get more hurt than you already had been. "You think so?" Billy asked loving the idea of protecting you. What he did at the party felt good. Feeling that fuckers bones crack beneath his hand was exhilarating. Of course, he wished he didn't have to do it. He hated the fact he let it happen. The details of your attack were lost on Billy. All he saw was the masked boy pining you to the wall as his hands pulled at your dress.

"I do. Just maybe take it easy for a while?" Dewey smiled lighting up the conversation. "I'll try." Billy nodded. "Deputy, Can I speak to you for a moment?" Another officer called Dewey away leaving Billy alone in the cell.

Billy looked down at his cast trying not to pick at it. He didn't like having it on. It was a nuisance to put it lightly. The doctor told him he'd have to wear it for at least six weeks. Frankly, he didn't think he could make it that long mainly because of the name written in black ink on the cast. "Billy?" Dewey spoke walking into the room. His keys jangled as he opened up the cell door. "Stu's here to pick you up."

Once all the paperwork was done and signed Billy was finally allowed to leave the county jail. "Oh, she's going to kill you," Billy said looking at your car in the parking lot. Stu was upset. Billy hadn't said one word to him. Not a "thank you," "glad to see ya," "go fuck yourself," nothing. "Me? What about you?" Stu spat getting into the driver's seat.

"What about me? I saved her from that creep." Billy thought he was your knight in shining armor. You kept him fed and he kept you safe. After all, that's what you wanted right?

"You told the whole town you two were dating. Billy, you knew she wanted to wait." Stu drove while Billy rolled his eyes. "They were going to find out eventually. Everyone already thinks you two were fucking behind Tatum's back." Stu kept his eyes on the road. "Don't talk about her." After his talk with Dewey, Stu felt differently about a few things. "Jesus, what crawled up your ass tonight?" Stu hit the brakes making Billy's head hit the dash. "What the fuck!" The boy yelled holding his now bleeding head. "It's four in the morning. I just had to drive across town to pick you up from jail and you haven't said thank you. I begged Dewey not to call your dad to save you from the fight that was bound to happen and still, no thank you. Do you give a shit about me at all? Cause lately I feel like the only one you pay attention to is little Miss Betty Crocker. If I have to put on an apron for you to give a fuck I will. Is that what it's going to take?"

Billy's head pounded and Stu's yelling didn't help. "I'm sorry. Is that what you want to hear? My fucking hand is broken and you're upset that I didn't say thank you? You didn't even give me the chance. Where were you when she was getting attacked?" Stu's demeanor changed as he seemed to shrink. "You told me to get water-"

"That's right you were getting her water because you just had to give her alcohol. If you would've just gotten me and you a beer none of this would've happened. Don't jump my ass because all of this is your fault." Stu's face was red as tears weld up in his eyes. He gassed up the car driving in silence. The streetlights were smeared by his tears making it harder to see. This was his fault. That was what he told himself over and over. He was the one being selfish. He hadn't even noticed the bright white cast covering his partner's hand.

While Stu beat himself up over something he had no control over Billy cursed himself for yelling. "I'm sorry for shouting." Billy broke the silence. Stu sniffled trying to compose himself. "I'm sorry for jumping your ass." He responded quietly.

Billy turned towards the driver sighing at the sight. "It's not your fault. If it's anyone's fault it's Daniel's." Stu rounded the corner sending a glance to Billy. He didn't know his partner knew your assailant. "Daniel?" Stu asked. "Daniel Lawson. I heard Dewey say his name when talking to some other asshole." Stu looked over at his friend seeing that gleam in his eyes he hadn't seen for a while. "What are you thinking?" Billy smirked already having a plan. "I'm thinking we're about to have one less student attending Woodsboro high school."

By the time Stu pulled into the garage both men had smiles on their faces. Stu was happy to have his partner in crime back. It was probably unhealthy that the time he felt closest to Billy was when they were planning a murder. This was something only the two of them shared. Billy didn't want to include you because he saw you as too innocent to partake in such a depraved act. Even after what you did that night at Stu's place. To put it simply it was men's work.

Stu didn't want to include you because he had Billy to himself. It was their little secret this time. Stu would make sure you wouldn't find out about it. It was a win for everyone involved. Your attacker would disappear and Stu got to spend quality time with his boyfriend. It was a win win scenario.

"I'm going to take a shower and get something to eat before I head to bed." Billy pulled his boots off sitting them by the door. Stu stood behind his lover starting to kiss his neck softly. All the planning had stirred something inside of the short-haired boy. "Stu..." Billy warned not really in the mood. That didn't stop him however as his hand slowly slid down the front of Billy's outfit. "I'm tired." He spoke trying not to hurt Stu's feelings. His hand slipped underneath Billy's pants making him pull away. "Enough, alright? I'm tired and I'm hungry. I'm not in the mood right now."

Billy's hand was still killing him and his stomach was fighting for attention. Not to mention the throbbing headache he now had thanks to Stu. The last thing on his mind was sex unfortunately for his partner. Billy didn't mean anything by it. It wasn't personal but Stu took it as such.

"Whatever I'm going to sleep. You'll probably have more room on the couch than the bed." Stu walked upstairs leaving Billy with a headache. He was used to Stu's mood swings they happened ever so often. That along with an occasional manic episode. If he was lucky Stu would wake up in a better mood. Billy rubbed his face stopping halfway realizing too late he had makeup on. "Fuck..." He cursed.

Billy walked into the kitchen fixing himself a sandwich. He decided he would eat first and then take a shower. It was a funny sight. The man covered in makeup and blood stains was sitting at the kitchen table trying his best to eat a sandwich with his left hand. Once it was gone he put his plate in the sink, he'd wash it later. Billy decided to use the downstairs bathroom not about to suffer Stu's wrath once again.

Showering was more difficult than anticipated. The more he struggled to get his shirt off the more aggravated he got. "God damnit!" He cursed a little too loud. "Stupid..." He whispered to himself. With a couple of deep breaths, he went into the kitchen grabbing a pair of scissors. It wasn't an easy task to cut the shirt from his body. The doctor at the hospital cut the duct tape and the sleeve of his shirt off leaving room to put on the cast. Funny enough he left Billy to suffer with the rest of the fabric. His hand fumbled with the scissors struggling to get them to cut anything.

His yelling had woken you up. You could still feel the effects of the alcohol coursing through your veins. Thankfully it was less aggressive than before. Stu was laying sideways in the bed drooling onto your pillows. "Guess everyone had a rough night." You grumbled pulling yourself up from the bed.

You threw on your robe before heading down the stairs. Billy was home. His cursing and mumbling gave him away. "What are you doing?" Your eyes were squinted, offended by the white light in the bathroom. "Babe thank fuck. Cut this." He held the scissors towards you while you just stood confused. It took a moment for your eyes to adjust.

"What happened to your face?" You moved forward to run a finger over the dried blood. "Police brutality." He raised his eyebrows at the joke which didn't make you laugh. "Your arm..." You noticed the cast branded with Dewey's name. Gently you reached out inspecting the cast. "Don't ask." Billy shook his head at the signature. "How bad did you break it?" Just like that the whole scene replayed in your head. For a minute or two you watched your boyfriend turn into something you couldn't describe.

It was scary. You remembered how he looked when he was chasing you in the mall a few days after you moved. It was that same terrifying look just directed at someone else.

"They said I broke four knuckles, nothing too horrible." It was horrible. Some of the worst pain that boy ever felt but he wouldn't tell you that. You huffed a laugh. "How are you feeling?" He asked running his left hand over your head. Billy's eyes looked you up and down. You knew what he was wondering. "I'm okay. He didn't get that far if that's what you're asking." Billy shook his head. "It doesn't matter how far he got Y/n he shouldn't have touched you at all."

You grabbed the scissors slowly cutting the fabric off his body. "Are you upset that he touched me or are you upset that he hurt me?" The question was asked calmly. Billy didn't understand the difference between the two questions. To you however the difference was great. You seriously doubted Billy would've acted that same way if it was some other girl.

Billy chose his words carefully seeing you had scissors and all. "I'm not upset, I'm furious." His fingers grabbed your jaw lifting your chin. Your hands stopped, waiting for him to say something. Billy's eyes wandered your face his heart squeezed at the thought of anything happening to you. "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you tonight. I didn't know what he was doing. I heard you say my name and I saw his hand under your dress. I blacked out for a second." It was a bullshit excuse. He remembered every thought that flew through his brain. Billy could recite the boy's pained pleas if you asked him to. Now was the time to play up the boyfriend act. As days went on it got easier for him to do.

His eyes softened as he spoke. It was funny how things came full circle. You met Billy because of some bully trying to see down your shirt. That was the first person he ever hit. Now look at the two of you. Both of you were broken but somehow you were looking out for each other.

"You think you embarrassed me?" You pulled away from his touch. Everyone would be talking about it. You knew that, but Billy almost killed a man with his bare hands and he's worried about the scene he caused.

"You're not embarrassed?" Billy cocked his head to one side. You started to peel off the cut up shirt as you spoke. "No. I'm scared, I-I'm worried but I'm not embarrassed. Do you think I'm embarrassed of you?" That was one of Billy's concerns. That after tonight you wouldn't want anything to do with him. He knew if the roles were reversed he'd probably never leave his house again. Fearful of what people might say. You looked the man up and down. He looked broken literally and figuratively. "The guy wanted to see my scar. I think he had more to drink than I did." You laughed trying to make a joke out of the serious conversation. "It was scary, I thought... something bad was going to happen and it might have. I don't know. You stopped him before anything seriously fucked up happened so thank you."

You tossed the ripped pieces of the shirt in the trash almost falling over from spinning too fast. "Baby," Billy said as he grabbed your arm stabilizing you. "Still feeling it huh?" He smiled. "I'll never do this again." You promised but Billy doubted that. Billy knew by the way you and Stu danced that you two would have partying in common.

"I bet." He said turning on the shower so the water could warm up. "Make sure you scrub your face good. You don't want to break out." Billy nodded at your advice. "Are you going back to bed?" You yawned at the mention of sleep. "I'm exhausted. I'll save you a spot in bed okay?" Billy watched you walk into the hallway. "Okay, I won't be long." You shut the bathroom door behind you going back up to your room.

You tried to be normal about it all. Part of you swooned over what he did. In some sick twisted way, you enjoyed seeing him defend you the way he did. It made you feel invincible which was a dangerous feeling. The other part of you however feared the man you began to love. He could keep you safe from everyone but himself. Stu's behavior at the party was unsettling as well. The violence was more important to him than you. He rushed to your side but his shouting didn't stop. The fight was thrilling for Stu.

With a heavy heart and head, you threw your robe over the chair crawling into bed next to Stu. "Scoot." You shoved the boy forcing him to move to the side of the bed. Stu rolled over his back facing you. Deep in sleep, he grabbed your hand pulling your arm over his waist. With a small smile, you pulled him in effectively snuggling up to the man.

You didn't know how things would go. The headache you had could've been the alcohol or your overthinking. You were scared of the future. For too long you had lived on a day-to-day basis. It was nice for a while but eventually, you'd have to face the music. Something had to give.

Billy pulled on a pair of boxers along with a t-shirt before heading to bed. Stu had you wrapped in his arms leaving plenty of room for Billy. Carefully he climbed into bed not wanting to wake up either of you. He wasn't happy with the way things played out. Daniel should be dead not just concussed with a broken nose. Billy didn't give a shit about the details of your attack. That son of a bitch laid a finger on you, the one thing Billy promised to prevent. Daniel didn't know it yet but he was a dead man walking.

Taglist (closed): @katie-tibo @agustdeeyaa @bowlofceral @gonnapermashift @tati-the-fangirl @kozumewhore @tatijoestar @illyanam1011 @c4rved-pumpk1n @msghostface @gojosbucket @sammanna @lokigirlszendaya @reneki @fetusharryluvr @kadu-5607 @pumpk1n-writes @zeysartzone @life-of-music3 @flyestvenustrap @littleblondesoprano @loomiscorpse @nicciekawegosblog @reneemunson @miss-puregotti @ksgsfsgaj @zoleea-exultant @briefwinnerpersonaturtle @mistydreamscape @l4venderia @nex-crowley @ashreblogsnow @brynaa223 @your-desire666 @billyloomiswhore4 @holyladyofsorrows @megluv1 @ellieswifeiya @yoluvrz @forallthstarsinthesky @madsothree @youcantbesirius @lubunnii @captainhowdysseptum @geekygremlin @madneedshelp

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iamnmbr3 · 4 months

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I love your meta but it's gotten to the point for me that when I read fics and Harry says something like "He's a disgusting Death Eater" I'm like- Nope, not in character. Harry? No. 1 Draco Malfoy apologist Harry? Unrealistic, I can't.

Thank you so much! That's really nice of you to say! And lol saaaaame. I mean don't get me wrong. I love some bitter 'both-these-characters-have-literally-tried-to-kill-each-other' enemies to lovers but that's not drarry (as their dynamic is portrayed in canon). And I think that's fascinating because they should hate each other a lot more than they do but they just can never bring themselves to. I just find it so striking how little real violence there is between them despite their very intense rivalry evolving into them literally being soldiers on opposite sides of a war. And how they just can't bring themselves to really truly hurt each other the way you'd expect and how they both always risk everything to save each other even when they should have no reason to.

Personally I think that's more interesting than them just disliking and distrusting each other. Because yes there is rivalry and bad blood and hostility but there's so much more than that and that fascinating push and pull is what makes their interactions so interesting to me.

I mean, canonically by the end of book 6 Harry has shifted into full-on worrying about Draco. And he keeps worrying about him all through book 7. (Not to mention saving his life and being saved in return by Draco at the Manor). This is wild. Draco is a Death Eater. Draco let other Death Eaters into the school. Draco almost got Katie and Ron - 2 friends of Harry's - killed. Draco is indirectly responsible for Bill's face getting ripped off. He also seemingly contributed to Dumbledore's apparent murder by disarming him and leaving him vulnerable.

But Harry doesn't hate him. He understands that Draco has changed his mind and doesn't want to be doing what he's doing anymore and has realized the folly of the side he's chosen (but tragically too late). He pities him. He worries about him. He doesn't despise or blame him. He even apparently conceals Dracos's crimes from magical law enforcement and blames everything on Snape.

Given this, I always personally find it a bit jarring when canon compliant fics have Harry go too overboard with the whole "omg he was a Death Eater" angle because it doesn't fit with his actions in canon. I mean after he walks in on Draco crying in book 6 and saying some hugely incriminating things Harry's reaction is to completely back off - simply because his investigation is putting Draco in danger. Even though Draco is pretty clearly a potential danger to others. And by the end of book 6 he's even more sympathetic to him after seeing Draco's change of heart. In book 7 he's viscerally horrified by seeing Draco forced to torture Rowle and the thing that motivates him to block out his connection to Voldemort for the first time is not wanting to see Draco tortured after the escape from the Manor. And he thinks about him quite frequently. And he even puts not only his own life at risk to save him, but also the lives of his friends (who he values far more than he values himself).

Given all this, while I certainly think Harry wouldn't immediately be best friends with Draco or forget about all the bad things he and his family did, I don't think he'd be over the top hating him like I see in some fics where Harry is outraged Draco didn't go to Azkaban or enraged by his mere presence at Hogwarts for 8th year or stuff like that, given he wasn't that bothered by Draco in 6th or 7th year when he had a lot more reason to be. That level of hostility and mistrust just doesn't feel like it fits to me.

Of course everyone is free to interpret and write the characters how they like. These are just my personal views and preferences. (And to be fair I also find it a bit jarring when Harry starts talking like he's been on tumblr reading drarry metas in defense of Draco so it's definitely a balance).

#send me asks anytime! I love answering them. :)#asks #drarry #Harry Potter

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knickynoo · 2 months

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Well, I was sufficiently enabled for the idea, so here it is: ✨Alex P. Keaton's Top Neurodivergent Moments✨

The funny thing is that the amount of time I put into scrolling through my encyclopedic mental inventory of Family Ties scenes, compiling these moments in a list, making gifs, and finding past gifsets/analysis to link back to makes creating this post one of my most neurodivergent moments. Good for me.

These will be organized by season (easier for me than trying to rank on a scale) and are in no way ALL of the moments. I'd need like...15 posts for that. Also, tumblr only allows 30 images/gifs per post, so I'm going to include links to past posts when possible.

ENJOY!

• Alex gets his first-ever failing grade and immediately decides to quit school

Exactly what it says. Alex strolls into college all bright-eyed and confident and ends up a broken shell of a guy just a week or so later. The prototypical Gifted Kid from the moment he learned to speak, Alex cannot handle anything less than perfection. Getting the first F of his life shatters his entire self-image, and he wants to drop out of college entirely.

• Alex's friend Doug announces he's getting married, and Alex spirals into despair. As one does.

The entirety of the "Best Man" episode is one big Alex displaying neurodivergent behaviors moment, honestly. There are a whole lot of Alex-centered plots that are set into motion because A Change happens, and he just cannot deal with it, and this is one of the best examples. Alex is so distraught at the suddenly altered dynamic that he wanders the house like a lost soul—sad and confused and needy. He walks in on Steven's shower just to give him a hug, offers to go shopping with Mal and play dolls with Jen, and also draws up a seven-year contract for his other friends to sign to ensure they stick to their regularly scheduled card games, lest they also run off to get married and destroy his life.

• Alex P. Keaton: child development expert

When faced with the news of another sibling on the way, Alex has some very nurturing advice at the ready for when the baby is crying.

• The Keatons all laugh at a funny story. Alex is not amused.

This is one of my favorite Alex scenes of the series. Uncle Rob shares a memory of the time Steven was young and got in trouble because he started rebelling against the system and refused to write his name in the designated spot on his school test papers. The family shares a hearty laugh. Alex, king of black-and-white thinking and lover of rules, is deeply upset.

I love him so much. He genuinely cannot see how they're enjoying such a story. The Name Spot is for names. And his father dared to write in the Not For Names Spot?? Jail for Steven.

He's so ridiculously autistic.

• Alex's favorite childhood toy

It was a cardboard box. I can't quite put into words why this sets off my ND radar, but it does. Maybe it's the being attached to unusual items thing that's common with autism? The intense fixations that make other people go ????

The Alex and Ba-ba plotline provides some wonderful Alex Lore.

• Mr. Mustache

Yeah, those intense fixations? In the "Fool for Love" episode, Alex grows a mustache and legitimately cannot speak about anything else for the several days that follow. He's asked to present a speech at Mallory's homecoming dance and centers his entire speech around his mustache. He's unable to have a conversation that doesn't involve mustaches. It's incredible.

• Everything in "Matchmaker"

Alex is so sweet in this one. After Mallory comes home crying after a bad date, Alex promises to help her find a great guy. Unfortunately, putting someone who struggles socially and with processing emotions in charge of your love life isn't exactly a great fit. Alex uses the power of science to craft a formula to find Mallory's perfect match (he isn't), then tags along on their date and helps foster a very natural environment (it isn't) for the relationship to flourish (it doesn't).

The episode ends with a great scene between Alex and Mallory that shows just how well Mal understands the inner-workings of her big brother's head.

• Divorce is tough. Alex has some advice.

The Keaton kids are shocked to learn that their Uncle Rob is divorcing their Aunt Maureen. As Jen and Mallory reel from the information, Alex helps to reframe things.

He then pulls out the Special Interest Card and compares the divorce of their aunt and uncle to a "failed merger, not unlike the breakup of the phone company—although obviously less emotional. Nothing more than a natural fluctuation in the marketplace of love and marriage."

And the thing is, he IS impacted by the news. He just hasn't the slightest clue how to actually process it. So, a simple failed merger it is!

• You had one job

Mallory needs some croissants for a fancy get-together she's having with her poetry class. Alex helpfully offers to go pick them up.

Now, I debated about this one because there's part of me that's like, "Hmm, did Alex purposely do this to annoy Mallory?" Is this just a jerk move? But you know what? It stays on the list because the whole "I personally don't like this thing and struggle to see how anyone else could. Therefore, I will get the thing I like" is (for me) a relatable aspect of being ND.

• Every single second of "A, My Name is Alex"

For real, though. This episode is a deep dive into how Alex became the person he is, and it is FILLED with "flashbacks" of an intensely neurodivergent child whose issues were made worse by the people around him. (Mostly teachers and peers. Steven and Elyse did their best with him, but I do also have some critiques of the way they parented him). Anyway, he represses his emotions to the point of a meltdown

And then there's this

Full coin gifset here. Also, I made posts on the full episode, which can be found here and here.

• "Alex has a weird body"

That's Mallory's explanation to Andy as to why Alex can't help her when she needs someone to model one of her latest clothing creations. She says Alex's head is too big for his body, and those words, unfortunately, find their way back to him. In a mini plot reminiscent of the mustache one, Alex proceeds to obsess over the comment.

And I mean, I think being told your head is too big for your body would make anyone insecure, but it's the way Alex handles it. He's unable to have regular conversations for a while because he can't stop fixating on the size of his noggin'.

Both of the "Read it and Weep" episodes fit in this list, to be honest

• An accurate statement by Lauren

I've got to include this because it really does neatly condense a lot of who Alex is

So true, bestie.

And then, to wrap this whole thing up, there's all of this

And this is just what I can fit in this here post without going over the limit lol. Obsessed with the way MJF played Alex.

Thanks for reading ✌️

This is me with Alex, btw

#family ties #alex p keaton #apk #sometimes you have to reach to cobble together an autism headcanon for a character. do a lot of projecting ya know?#not the case with this guy #it's all just there

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limbus-limousine · 8 months

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Keep saying this but I loooove how relationships are talked about and portrayed in Demian (1919). Like. To an insane degree that I can barely put into words. It bothers me how overlooked it is sometimes? People always have a tendency to shove fictional relationships into very cramped, defined little boxes and then fight over the plastic label.

The way relationships are seen in Demian is one of the main reasons why I hold this book so close to my heart, because it was the first time I saw my thoughts put into words that I could analyze and study. That and the whole premise of how growing up in a religiously oppressive environment disguised with love and purity will inevitably affect how you process your feelings toward others... Makes me relate to Sinclair a lot. And it feels like a gross oversimplification to restrict his feelings as platonic or romantic.

I've talked about how I see Demian and Eva as extremely related entities before, how they are essentially the same. But I think their distinction as physical characters is very useful for the storytelling and symbolism. As I see it, Demian (the book) is all about love. It's not just about finding love in someone else but also finding love in yourself, in what you do and where you are in your life. This might be more of a personal interpretation, but to me, Eva represents a very, very specific feeling, in a way it's a culmination, a point where you finally stop to think and say to yourself "maybe I am okay. This is what okay feels like to me". Freudian influence aside... The motherly themes hit me really hard for this very reason:

When I read how Sinclair slowly fell out with his family, it spoke of a very specific experience. A very specific realization. "This deal isn't that of a bad friendship or acquaintance. I won't have a second chance. Simply because of how I was born, where I was born, there are human experiences that I'll never be able to know, and I am powerless to change that", you cannot choose your family, your mother, right? It's what you get, and you see around you what could've been but never was, and it makes you feel weak.

That's why Frau Eva is such an important figure. Because that is when Sinclair finds his family again, in a way. Why should blood matter so much? Sure, there's a biological connection, it's also been studied that romantic relationships reach their "high" during their earlier days due to hormones and neurotransmitters, right, "love at first sight", but those will eventually cease production as all does. It is your choice to nurture that relationship and to cherish it, to keep and to care for it. Blood does not matter, home is a person and it's right next to me, right now. I think that is what Frau Eva is, as a whole. And allowing that feeling to coexist with the platonic and the romantic is very important as I see it. One of the main problems of this motherly dynamic is the power difference, what makes Sinclair struggle in his childhood is the constant sensation of being watched, of being subjected to severe judgement. Frau Eva is supposed to remove that factor, she listens and she welcomes any thought or idea, there isn't fear of rejection or punishment, that's what makes it feel "like home". That was, kind of, the last step to reach the fulfillment Sinclair needed. I see Eva as the "destination" of this whole thing.

And Demian, he is the journey. One of the biggest mistakes one can make is to dismiss the process and work that goes into an achievement, because it is important. There is no Eva without Demian, they are intrinsic by nature. And journey is something that never leaves you. Even when Sinclair reaches his destination, he never stops caring about Demian. He visits Eva and he visits Demian, even if he has to walk through horrible weather, he speaks of his dreams to them, and he sits at the table and eats with them. Because during your journey you gain so many things you never expected, and at the end of the road, they become part of your fulfillment and needs as much as the main achievement is.

What Sinclair obtains from Demian and Eva, and everything in between them, is a unique relationship, deeply fulfilling, trusting, reassuring, a place where you know you can come to, even when you're at your lowest. Eva capitalizes on the genuine care, nurturing qualities, but Demian, too is a mentor, although I find falconer to be a better comparison. He helps the sparrowhawk grow its clipped wings, but in turn, he shall not stop it from flying, only the bird itself can choose to return the falconer's affections. But at the end of the day, all the falconer wishes for is to see him take flight. Sinclair obtains everything: friendship, camaraderie, acceptance, relief of a deep rooted guilt, no judgement for his human desires, the care and trust he lost from his mother, and something to look forward to after waking up in the mornings.

At the end of the book, Sinclair is separated from both of them, as I've said, they are intrinsic. But of course, they don't fully leave. As I see it, the kiss being from Eva means that your achievement is and will always be a sweet thought. Something you hold dear, that you can think of to comfort yourself. But Demian is there to deliver it and to fix Sinclair's wounds because journey is experience. It is what strengthens you and gives you the tools to face future endeavors. And it feels safe... You are finally safe within yourself.

But what about the scary factor, though? Because that is present too in both Demian and Eva (which I happen to really enjoy, as well). As always, I think it's a balance. It's good to know fear, it's a human emotion like any other. But the fear that radiates from them is more... Animal-like. The fear Sinclair once felt was a deep rooted terror that was born from something divine. You're being watched. You're being judged. You're wrong. You're a sinner. That's scary. Because it's telling you that the danger comes from yourself. When you see a beast staring into you, you don't feel self conscious, you don't feel repulsed, you feel the most natural shape that fear has. Beautiful things are scary. A snake can be scary. The stars can be scary. But it's not their fault, and it's not your fault either, it's just how it's meant to be. Because all feelings —love, anger, fear, sadness— and more, they are all important, they are all natural. But natural feelings can be beautiful. Artificial feelings make you fear something you've never witnessed, they make your stomach churn at the thought of yourself and they make you cry for something you haven't done. And most people around you live holding onto relationships that are, fundamentally, held by artificial feelings.

That is... Most of what I interpret from this book. And, god. It feels more like the book read me and not the other way around. I think I've truly found a bigger respite in art thanks to this novel. I have wanted to see the same beauty in the naturally grotesque... Learn about myself until rotting, flesh, maggots become just as beautiful and full of meaning as spring rivers and flowering plains, and for anger and fear to turn into something I can love and cherish like I do my inner child. Although they, too, have surely grown up.

That's it. I wanna play toysssss

#rambling #demian (1919)#I FUCKING LOVE THID BOOK!!!! FUCL????!!!!!!#Ramble ramble ramble again because i thought about them for a bit too long again #I hope you guys know that i have this wall of text as a constant inner monologue whenever i draw #anything demian (1919) related #including limbus fanart #(all my limbusclair fanart has references from my fucke up mind)#have a wonderful day hesse fandom

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maxwell-grant · 3 months

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Thoughts on The Penguin trailer?

youtube

This one has a more generic mob show vibe out of the ones we've seen so far, and I'm not gonna lie a part of me is still skeptical regarding it, but the emphasis on post-flood broken Gotham besieged by a crime family fighting for the scraps of the kingdom kept me piqued, and then the words "Post-Apocalyptic Sopranos" crossed my mind in the elevator and oh Yes, Ha Ha Yes

It's one thing for a show about mob power struggles and troubled dynamics to happen in a regular society where they exert power and there are structures in place to abide to, it's another thing entirely for said mob power struggles and troubled dynamics to be happening in the wrecked ruins of a city in the process of rebuilding all of it's structures and for said mob to be simultaneously on free-fall and poised for new beginnings as the world itself is changing (if anything Tony Soprano wishes he could be living like this, with more carte blanche to cut through his stresses with a machine gun every now and then)

It's a decent shake-up on a crime show formula even on it's own, without factoring that oh yeah this is Gotham City and said destruction was caused by a nerd obsessed with riddles and all of these mobsters will have to look over their shoulders for the rest of their lives in case the freak in power armor decides to show up and suplex them into the pavement, and things are only going to get worse and weirder from here on out.

Clancy Brown once again showing up to play the Final Boss / All-Father / Divine Judge of organized villainy, we love to see it, it's what he does and he does it better than anyone. Here breathing a whole new life and power and significance into the other major throwaway Gotham gangster.

What I'm interested in regarding Sofia and the Falcones in general is that they've said several times in the past that Oz is modeled after Fredo Corleone, and this trailer goes out of it's way to paint Sofia as the Michael with direct references. For the contrast between Penguin and the actual gangsters to exist, for this to explore the divide and collapse on regular crime vs super crime that the movie kicked off, this thing needs a standard Prestige TV Crime Show protagonist to work, and that seems to be Sofia, the protagonist of a story, just not this one.

The trailer's placing a big emphasis on Oswald as a guy who's still a long way from the top, contrasting with Sofia holding what's left of the reigns of power. Sofia stares at political protestors behind windows and attends fancy dinner conversations and dwells on the scars of her past and makes threats on how she's been pushed aside too long and it's her turn now, and Oz is out there in the ruins hauling corpses and mentoring an understudy and getting into machine gun fights and doing all the grunt work himself.

She gets the dramatic close-door boss shot, and the trailer ends with her cornering Oswald and leaning in real close to tell him she was always onto him and threaten him, because again, she is entirely convinced he is just the Fredo, and that she is in her girlboss Michael Corleone era. She does that, and then it hard cuts to all the violent destructive cool shit Oz is gonna be doing instead, because she is catastrophically wrong about how this thing is gonna work.

Sequel this, Reevesverse that, Trilogy whatever, none of that is gonna cut anymore. I will no longer accept any way of referring to this that isn't The Batman Epic Crime Saga. I'd say the crimelords of Gotham are asking Oswald if he has it in him to make it epic but he's already giving his answer.

The Falcones are right, Oswald IS just a goon who'd never hack it in the old system. It's just that there isn't an old system anymore, and the future looks a lot more like him than it looks like them. She and Alberto think of themselves as troubled scarred underdogs next in line for succession poised to get what is owed to them, while Penguin opens this by walking up to the former ruler of the entire city and telling him, hey head's up, I'm calling the shots now, as he laughs and snorts and plots to burn down the empire and shank them at their weakest and machine gun battle for what he's decided is his. Even if his name wasn't in the title, it wouldn't even be up to debate who's going to win this fight.

Really what is Batman as a whole about, if not Epic Crime?

#replies tag #dc comics #batman #penguin #the penguin #oswald cobblepot #matt reeves #the batman #you make me the Dark Penguin!#god Furiosa ruled so much

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chaithetics · 1 year

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I was rewatching season 3(the Kendall birthday episode) and I thinking, maybe Stewy and Porce are married, or other story of course; and the part where Ken takes the siblings to see the mocking pictures and it could have one of Porce and Stewy together and Kendall "jokes" about the "crying baby and the shark" and it really upsets her(as it should) and even the siblings are upset by this, and she just turns to him and says "this is why my kids are playing with their cousins(Sophie and Iverson) ,so they don't grow up like you" and goes away. I think that'd be powerful, because the kids have a true bond, Rava and Porce are true friends and Ken is a j*rk, and when Stewy finds out, there'll be a reckoning

Porcelain and the Shark: Too Much Birthday

Pairing: Stewy Hosseini x f (Roy) reader

(reader has anxiety, no use of y/n, physical descriptions or other names but does have the nickname Porcelain/Porce - due to family viewing her that way not because of her complexion)

Word count: 3.1K

Chapter warning: 18+ MDNI (smut-free fic) established relationship, fluff, soft Stewy, anxious reader, some familial angst, some cussing, some misogynistic views, Roys being Roys.

Authors note: Thank you so much for sending this in lovely Nonnie! It was such an inspiring ask, I hope you don't mind the few changes I made, please do let me know what you think! I adore you! I'm so glad to be out of hospital and after reading this prompt I was inspired to rewatch this S3 episode. I went a little off-track and I think this one is a bit different to other fics but I made the connection about the misogynistic tones with this and also the poster that Shiv had and saw it as a great opportunity to explore and develop Porce and Shiv's dynamic. Especially with all the asks about girlhood in film and then with the Barbie film re-prompting those conversations I just wanted to explore it even more (this doesn't have Barbie spoilers or mentions btw) so I finished it pretty quickly. It's nice to be back! I'm still pretty unwell despite being out of the hospital so I can't promise or commit to a writing schedule again yet but I'll definitely still be writing more Stewy (I've had a few Barbie inspired asks which I want to get around to asap as well haha). I appreciate you all and I hope you enjoy this! Please do let me know what you think, I'd really appreciate it! Comments, reblogs and asks are more than welcome and appreciated! I adore you all! 💗(PS this hasn't been proofread..."

*****************************

Kendall was sensitive, controlling, and obsessive. Which often manifested around certain significant events and moments in his life. It was a quality all of the Roy children seemed to share to an extent, you’d seen it in your siblings numerous times and even occasionally yourself.

Kendall’s birthdays were often disastrous, he wanted perfection, he wanted to fill the hollowness inside with extravagance, validation and company. But it never quite was good enough, it was always disappointing and fell through somehow. You knew the self-created stakes would be even higher for Kendall as it was a ‘significant’ birthday along with the latest edition of family drama. Shiv’s letter had hit pretty hard and far.

You weren’t sure if any of your siblings would go, probably Connor, loyal as always. Rome? Maybe? He had an interesting, pained soft spot for Kendall. Shiv…? You’d think she wouldn’t want to show after recent events but Shiv was cunning and clever. She could show up to play a mind game perhaps? Or maybe they’d show up on behalf of your dad to really get into Kendall’s head. Would your father even attend? You assumed he’d been invited.

It was a lot of questions swirling around in your mind, you weren’t sure of any of those answers. Which was part of the reason why you were certain you needed to go, some visible and physical support for Kendall as you knew he’d be crumbling, you’d all been walking on eggshells your whole lives but the last few years for Kendall, they’d been getting more and more brittle.

You feel a little anxious as you’re stuck so deep inside your head until a familiar and soft voice brings you back.

“Where’d you go?”

His tone is laced with neutrality and an air of caution but his face clearly says that he thinks this is all a bad idea. He looks at you sitting down, facing the mirror, he thinks you look gorgeous but he notices your legs bouncing now that you’re back in reality.

“I was just thinking about Ken.” You try to keep your voice level, without a drop of any emotion.

“We don’t have to go-”

“No-”

“I don’t think we should go.” Stewy resigns. It’s at least the twelfth time he’s said it today.

Stewy hadn’t RSVP’d, he hadn’t acknowledged his separate invitation to yours and had been somewhat silent regarding Kendall. Which was extremely unusual. He didn’t like the direction of the mess of Waystar’s strategic and boardroom politics and his relationship with your family personally and professionally was strained.

You had to go to Kendall’s birthday to support him and you didn’t want to go alone. You felt bad about it but you and Stewy were both aware that the optics of Stewy being there was beneficial for Kendall’s sake.

“I know.” You sigh as you shift a little so that your head is facing him more as you look up at him standing. “He needs this though…And I need you.” You walk over to Stewy, giving him a gentle peck on his soft lips. “Please?” You press your lips against his and wrap your arms around the back of his neck as it deepens, his tongue brushes against yours and your hand tangles a little in his hair as you feel his hands wrap securely around your waist.

“We’ll just go for a little bit?” Your voice is soft as you break away from the kiss, you start to caress his cheek, your fingers dancing over his handsome beard that never ceases to amaze you with how well-trimmed and clean it is. Stewy tilts his head to gently lean his forehead against yours and nods as he inhales.

“You’re too good to me.” You whisper as you give him another kiss on the lips, you can taste the whiskey on him from his drink that’s sitting across the room half-empty. He’s sweet and his touch is so gentle with you.

“Well you’re perfect, you deserve nothing less baby.” He says as he gives you a quick but soft kiss on the lips. “Now, am I matching my turtleneck to what you’re wearing?” He asks with a smug smile. You laugh a little at that and nod, giving his cheek another stroke and then a quick peck on his lips before he squeezes your side and then walks over to the walk-in wardrobe.

****************************

You’d always been anxious about the concept of nannies and babysitters and when those services had been needed you’d preferred to have Connor (when possible) and Stewy’s family watch your children. But you trusted Rava with your life, you adored her and you knew she adored Sophie and Iverson more than anything. So with her reassurance, your children were with their cousins and would be looked after by Rava’s nanny. Sophie had been loudly looking forward to some quality time with her younger cousins which was sweet.

Those thoughts and the anxiety you’d had quickly left your mind though as you and Stewy walked into the venue and through what you were horrified and shocked to learn was a model of Caroline’s vagina.

“Do you think he talked to her about…this…?” You asked Stewy with widened eyes as you waved your hand around gesturing to the bizarre scene of a campy body horror film in front of you.

“No.” Stewy said as his eyes flitted across the room once again to take in the nurses, surgical equipment and very briefly, a “replica” of his mother-in-law's vagina. It was beyond reason, even for Kendall. “They don’t talk in the first place.” He spoke as his hand wrapped around your waist a bit tighter, pulling you in closer as he then navigated you both towards the bar. Stewy was certain alcohol would be necessary to make this night bearable, it was inevitable that someone would blow up.

As you and Stewy stand by the bar waiting for your drinks a man comes over, you don’t think you’ve seen him before and you’re not the biggest fan of the smug expression on his face as his eyes hone in on you.

“Hey, I’m Kyle.” He says boldly, Stewy’s right next to you with his hand on the small of your back. Your ring is visibly on your finger. You’re kind of surprised at the audacity of him, especially with Stewy right next to you. You look at him a bit confused, hoping he’ll end it but his smile persists. “So what’s your name?”

You say your first name as Stewy wraps his arms around you, leaning against your back with his head on your shoulder, making a point.

“Shit, you’re a Roy?!” Kyle asks, you see the flash of excitement in his eyes at that prospect. It grosses you out.

“Hosseini Roy.” You say somewhat firmly, as Stewy quirks an eyebrow and then starts to press some kisses to your shoulder and your exposed neck.

“Right, where’s your husband Ms Roy?” Kyle asks. You don’t know if he’s a stupid asshole or an arrogant one but you know for sure he’s one either way. You feel Stewy chuckle a little at that as the movement of it and its breath tickles your neck.

“The international space station-” You dramatically quip, and Stewy stops his kisses for a moment to laugh at that against your neck. This stranger is being ridiculous and so you may as well if he’s going to be so oblivious, it just so happened to be convenient that Tillie really liked space books and toys at the moment.

“That must be lonely-” Kyle cuts you off and the smirk on his face is too much. You scrunch your face up at him in annoyance.

“Can’t you see that my husband is here? Literally right here?! The whole time you’ve been doing this. Why the cuss did my brother invite you?” You ask with an eye roll as you take Stewy’s hand and walk off before Kyle has a chance to say anything else.

“What a douche.” You say as you lean your head against Stewy’s arm. He pecks a kiss to the top of your forehead with a grin on your face.

“You handled that impeccably.” He says with a small chuckle.

“Well, your act was pretty good.” You say moving your hand to rest against his back and trace patterns there.

“The international space station, I’ve never been. Do you think it has some villas with good views?” He asks playfully.

“Possibly. I don’t think we should invest in space tourism or realty though.” You answer and he laughs.

“Does Tillie think I’m an astronaut?” He asks, thinking about Tillie’s fascination with space.

“No. She’s never said it and I haven’t told her that. But I do think our children are far too young to understand the financial market.”

“You sure? I’d understand if you were worried Jonathan was going to mansplain stocks to you.” Stewy teases, as he presses another kiss to your head as you scoff.

“We’ll leave the mansplaining to you, darling.” You say tilting your head up from his arm to press a kiss to his lips, they’re soft and warm. He looks at you with a large smile.

It’s not long after that that somebody who knows Stewy through work comes over and the three of you have a conversation for a few minutes, you’re pressed into Stewy’s side with his arm around you. You tilt your head and then you see Shiv and Roman coming in and then there’s Ken.

You’re stuck inside with a hit of worry at first, you look at your handsome husband as he’s mid-sentence talking to this finance bro that you’re not the biggest fan of but who is considerably less gross than Kyle. As Stewy finishes his sentence you quickly cut in placing a hand gently on his cheek, he leans into the touch and looks into your eyes affectionately.

“Sorry, Kendall’s over there, I’m going to go over. I’ll find you after okay?” You ask.

“Yeah, of course, baby.” He nods and your lips brush for a quick affectionate kiss, you apologise to the man that you’ve been in a conversation with who nods as you walk off.

You walk over to where three of your siblings are discussing and come over when you hear Shiv saying she couldn’t find a card that said “Happy birthday” and “Get well soon” You look at her with a somewhat pointed expression, she shrugs slightly and raises her eyebrows at you.

After he hugs Shiv, Kendall’s eyes land on you and he smiles. You can tell that he’s glad Shiv and Roman came, even if they’re biting him. It makes you sad but you’re glad that he at least has some solace in that. There’s a bit of banter and you do raise your eyebrows when Roman asks about the vagina replica. When he does his little pleased expression and gesture at being told he can take it home you glare at him.

“Roman!” You exclaim and he smirks at you.

When Shiv asks if Stewy is there, there’s a pointed look from her, some smugness and a pointed look from Kendall but it’s different. It’s more desperate. You nod.

“Yeah, uh- Stewy’s here. He was talking to some finance bro. He’ll come over soon Ken. I just wanted to say hi first” You say. You’re not sure if it’s a half-lie or not yet. But you know it’s better for Kendall’s sake for you to say it, he nods at that and there’s a look in his eyes that you can’t read but boy does it worry you. Shiv drops a few more names and it’s very clear that she and Roman showed up to use it as a business opportunity.

“Hey, I got something to show you. This way. This way!” Kendall says somewhat excitedly and then walks ahead with the Roy siblings following him.

You watch Roman hand Kendall an envelope and after that he retreats back a bit for Shiv to go ahead of him, you raise your eyebrows at him and he raises them back at you.

“Please tell me you’re not stirring the pot?” You ask quietly as you walk side by side.

“I’m not- it’s nice- it’s nice. It’ll be good for Ken.” Roman says, his tone is earnest which surprises you.

Kendall then grabs your attention by talking about what he’s going to show you, you recognise some of the names and you’re intrigued by whatever it is based on that and Kendall’s imagination.

You walk into a room that’s being used as an art gallery space. As you walk in your eyes are immediately assaulted by the fictional headline of Roman. Roman’s response is more upbeat and amused than the tone of his voice or his facial expression. You can see it in his eyes, he’s retreated somewhat and he seems to get lost the longer he looks at it. Everyone knows of his intimacy issues and it’s cruel to point them out in this way you think.

You look at Shiv’s and you just feel angry. It’s a pit in your stomach of fire and you don’t feel this way often, it’s an odd feeling but it’s strong. Connor gets angry with Kendall over his and you understand that but you’re more focused on this. What was Kendall saying? Adding more stigma and cruel jokes onto sex workers? Shaming his sister for her sexuality? Reducing her to just an anti-feminist sex joke?

Shiv’s bobbed around hers and then her eyes land on your one. You turn, already upset at Shiv’s as you clock her shocked gaze at yours before you get a chance to look at it, to process it.

It’s an image of you from your childhood as a baby, it’s been digitally altered so that you’re a baby and you’re in shark-infested waters. You read the headline and comments and feel tears forming in your eyes and they’re hot. Your eyes flit between yours and Shiv, Shiv’s doing her best to hide her discomfort.

Shiv looks at you, her eyes silently saying “I can’t say anything.” And she can’t. You know that. Each step of hers is a careful calculation to avoid the emotional, hormonal, overbearing, hypersensitive, incompetent woman accusations they already throw at her. Whether it’s unspoken or spoken, and it’s both, they all say her head is unfit for that coveted heavy crown.

As a woman, sister, and mother, it’s already there. Your fate, reputation, and purpose. You’re emotional, a crybaby, sensitive and hormonal. But unlike your siblings, and well Shiv, you do not need nor want that tragic fate that they all betray each other for. While there is a sting in providing them ammunition for those perceived claims from your actions and words, it won’t kill you in the same way. You give Shiv a small nod, a silent “I know.” That is only for her.

“What the absolute fuck Ken?” You ask, he looks at you with raised eyebrows.

“What?” He asks with a chuckle.

“What the fuck is this?” You ask gesturing behind you to the large images of you and Shiv in your brother’s eyes.

“It’s a joke, c’mon you don’t need to uh get so emotional about it-” He says and you let out a humourless laugh at that.

“Kendall?! This is disgusting! You’ve reduced Shiv to ‘wife of Tom Wamsgams’ yes, because that’s all she is?! A wife? Oh, and it’s an embarrassing joke to say she’s a sex worker?! So your Times Up campaign is just strictly performative? Mr Fuck the Patriarchy is actually a SWERF trying to humiliate his sister and women for an already stigmatised career? And this is coming from the fact that Shiv has a sexuality…?” You question, he looks at you, not saying a word. Shiv stands near you watching you carefully, as Roman looks down uncomfortably and Connor and Willa stand together tensely. You’ve never spoken out like this against any of them.

“And what is this?” You exclaim as you point to the image behind you. “I’m your sister, you’re meant to care about me. Not infantilise me like that and make cruel, perverted jokes about my marriage. It’s sick Kendall. Stewy and I are there for our kids- we probably see Sophie and Iverson more than you do. This is why they’re close and Rava and I work so hard with them all, so they don’t end up doing this.” You breathe out shakily for a second, Connor looks at you sympathetically, Shiv is still silent but she’s grateful for everything being said. The tears are hot and burn your cheeks where they stay. “You have no idea what it’s like and you’re part of the problem. This is just cruel and it all reeks of so much fucking misogyny. I’ve-I’ve defended you. I’ve defended and supported you my whole life- I didn’t, I didn’t even sign that letter because it was harsh and cold but this is misogynistic and disgusting. This is just so mean and gross.” You finish.

“Fuck off.” Kendall says, it’s somewhat playfully, he has a smirk on his face but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“I can’t do this Ken, I can’t. You need to reflect on this and just do better. For us, Rava, Sophie. Just everyone.” You sigh out as more tears come, there’s nothing else to say to him and you’re ready to leave.

Shiv looks at you again, it’s not a scowl or an attempt at nonchalance. It’s also not a smile but her facial expression has softened. There’s another silent conversation, one that surprises you both as they often happen with every other sibling you have except each other. For you both, it’s a moment of understanding. It’s a genuine thank you and the usual, unusual display of Roy love and affection. You both do care about the other and you’re bonded in the impossible difficulties of being a woman. A brief few seconds of sisterhood are shared between you both. For possibly the first time, and even though you both know Shiv may never see you as more than competition due to her nature and your upbringing, you hope it’s not the last time.

You nod looking at her, giving her a small, tight-lipped smile and then leave the room to find Stewy. Shiv watches you leave and gives your quickly retreading silhouette a small smile.

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storysims · 2 years

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GROWING TOGETHER - GAMEPLAY REVIEW 🧩

it’s finally here! probably my (personally) most anticipated pack since seasons, growing together has seriously changed my gameplay for good.

I was provided with an early access copy of Growing Together to review via the EA Creator Network!

first things first - what’s included in the update, and what’s included in the pack? i will not be covering anything primarily featured in the base game update coming this week.

i went into this pack knowing only the bare minimum, so as a general overview here’s what’s coming in the base game update:

improved newborns (general appearance, full range of skintones, better animations, etc.)

updates to high chair & highchair meals

having a science baby

selecting if sims can produce milk in CAS

scars, stretchmarks, and birthmarks

the new infant lifestage

for the record, i did experience bugs with infants! i ended up going as far as locking my infant’s door at night to keep her parents from waking her up to hold her or bottle feed her unnecessarily. however, i do think that’s a reflection of the infant update and not this pack.

with all of that being said, onto milestones -

especially with infants, milestones and skills seem to go hand in hand! as your infant grows, becomes more skilled, and experiences the world they’ll achieve milestones to reflect this progress!

some gameplay is even locked behind milestone barriers. for an infant to be able to be put in a highchair, they’ll need to learn how to sit up on their own first. milestones become a sort of guide that you can use to navigate through your sims’ lives.

many milestones aren’t even on your sim’s info panel - as you go, more and more can show up! my infant’s only milestone after being aged up from a baby immediately was about being born. by the time she became a toddler, she had collected upwards of 15 infant milestones (if i can count correctly)!

additionally, not all sims are going to have the same milestones. while basics like learning to walk and talk will be common, other milestones can be achieved through less... happy ways of playing the game. if a sim has a bladder failure, they’ll remember it (and the lot they had it on) for the rest of their life.

my sim happened to met an unfortunate end while playing. 💀 thankfully her partner was able to plead with the grim reaper to bring her back, and she even had a milestone to show for it!

sims are now capable of changing over time! through an in-game pop up, sims will be able to swap their traits AND gain two additional traits. these changes happen over the course of gameplay, and are influenced by your sim’s decisions throughout their life.

when kyle joined the household, he was lazy, a genius, and clumsy! after days of jogging in the morning, he was given the option to become athletic. as he progressed his relationship with my sim and helped with tasks around the house, kyle also gained the traits loyal and neat!

(on the whole though, honestly don’t have babies with kyle. great guy, but has the tendency to dance autonomously - even in the face of crying infants. 😂 it’s almost pathological)

sims can also now have family dynamics! much like the self discovery traits, these change based on gameplay and prompt the player to make a decision.

i honestly haven’t played with this much - my sims did develop a ‘strict’ relationship, but it was towards the end of my time with the pack. at a glance, family dynamics give emotional moodlets about the two sims involved. in this scenario, my child sim occasionally felt tense around her mom. however, the two sims had and maintained a positive, loving relationship.

i’m sure this is far more in depth, but i personally don’t know enough about the system to speak on it.

sadly, i felt like the friendship bracelet system was a huge let down. if i was playing with a legacy family with multiple kids, cousins, etc. i think i would have enjoyed it a lot more? in terms of my early access gameplay though, i was less than impressed. bracelets are ‘traded’ amongst children... and my test family had no friends. 😅 i was hoping my sim could make one for her mom, but you’re unable to trade with someone who doesn’t have a crafted bracelet in their inventory.

but as it stands, there seems to be (at least) five variations of bracelets that can be made by clicking on the friendship bracelet kit in live mode. each one has the option to fail, and if it does it will need to be completely remade!

on the other hand, one of my favorite parts of the pack was the puzzles! (admittedly, i do like puzzles in real life, so i may be a bit biased)

the puzzle activity is done at a new table that comes with the pack! this table is also the home to cards and simbles, which seems to be a sims version of scrabble. the table holds a pretty wide variety of puzzles - four different sizes with a total twenty different picture variations. the puzzle size you select will influence how long it takes your sim to finish and how large the puzzle pieces actually appear.

sims can create custom puzzles from reference and frame finished puzzles for additional decor options around the house!

i was able to play with this pack from thursday to monday and i’m STILL positive i’ve missed a good amount of content. i never experienced a midlife crisis or layoffs, i never invited houseguests to visit, and i didn’t touch the new power walking skill once. not one of the new events got played through. i only had one relationship gain a dynamic and i never played with teenagers. i absolutely forgot to take a single picture or write down any notes about the compatibility system or child + teen confidence levels.

even with all the content that i missed, condensing my gameplay down into a readable review format was extremely difficult. this pack has quickly become a must have for me personally, and i can’t wait to see the rest of the community’s reaction to it. 💚

#the sims 4 #ts4 #ts4 growing together #eacreatornetwork #eagamechangers

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thelostgirl21 · 10 months

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Congratulations on these two for the smoothest lute exchange in TV history...

Because I literally can't tell you at what point exactly it managed to change hands.

I had to return and watch the scene, just to go check if we could catch a glimpse of Jaskier holding his lute while talking with Yarpen after his meeting with Radovid (spoilers alert: we can, but it's easy to miss), because I was mentally going "Wait. Do we ever see Radovid handing Jaskier his lute back, or did he just... put it down against one of his legs while the camera switched to Philippa, for Jaskier to pick up later?"

1.Like ok, so the last time we see Radovid holding the lute in that scene, it's in his left hand, and he takes a few steps closer to Jaskier to express how he'd love for him to become his bard and suggest he should totally move in with him already so they can start a new life together talk while momentarily excluding Philippa from the conversation.

2. Jaskier tries to resist the puppy dog eyes play it cool remembering how he attempted to start living with Geralt and offered to become his bard as soon as he started squishing on him; and how, although things eventually did work out between them (and they now have this whole queerplatonic family dynamic going on), maybe he wouldn't have gotten so brokenhearted if he'd taken things with him a bit slower? And adjusted his expectations in accordance with what Geralt was willing or able to offer back then, maybe?, and pretend he's totally not intrigued and aroused by the offer.

3. Radovid steps in even closer to make sure he has all of Jaskier's attention, while attempting to convince him that he would gladly let him tie him up and explore whatever kink he might have one can find plenty of ways to make life at court fun and exciting.

4. Philippa decides to play chaperone, because she's never taken Radovid outside for a walk on her own before, is not 100% sure if the prince has been trained to properly behave in public when he's not at court, knows Jaskier has literally no shame, and she'd rather get between these two now before they are given any opportunity to start making out and humping each other right in the middle of the fucking town's square! to step in closer to issue a few threats, for good measure.

5. Jaskier briefly looks like he's trying to sniff her finds the interruption quite rude and intimidating, yet stands his ground as he is unwilling to let her force him to back away from his prospective mate.

6. Philippa and Radovid , whose brain was so busy making out the shape of Jaskier's body through the very thin fabric of his shirt, that he only took from that whole conversation that he and Jaskier are having a date in five days, take their leave.

7. Jaskier is left trying to catch his breath while dealing with an awkward boner as he watches the prince leave leave, only to be interrupted by Yarpen Zigrin that has apparently just been standing there, silently watching the very rare and fascinating courtship display between a wild bard and a domestic prince...

8. Aaand, as Jaskier turns to greet him, we can catch a brief glimpse of the lute's pegbox that Jaskier seems to now be holding in his right hand. And Yarpen's puzzled, slightly traumatized expression, pondering what on Earth he's just witnessed, and how that complete pansexual disaster of a bard still manages to get laid so often.

Therefore, we can assume that the lute moved from Radovid's left hand to Jaskier's right hand anywhere in between 3 and 4...

But, with the way these two were so engrossed in each other by the time they got close enough to make the exchange, I'm trying to figure out how that went...

Like, try approaching your crush having this very intense conversation with them while continuously holding their gaze...

...and, at the same time, attempt signaling to them that you wish to give them back the object that you are holding, without any of you two looking down to see where the object or the other person's hand is.

There is visually and verbally a complete lack of acknowledgement that anything else is happening between them in that scene! It's uncanny!

Like if I'd been in Radovid's place, I'd probably have been awkwardly bumping the lute against Jaskier's right arm or leg while trying to figure out where his hand actually is; and then waiting to feel a little tug on it to make sure he's holding it securely before letting it go.

If I'd been in Jaskier's place, I'd probably have been trying to make physical contact with any recognizable part of the lute and then followed a path to its neck. Or, if I was feeling particularly bold, touched Radovid's arm and then caressed it all the way down to his hand to go place mine above or below the place where he's holding the lute's neck.

There would have been some slightly noticeable fumbling around involved, one way or another, at the very least.

But somehow, nothing could break the very sustained, sharp, and constant sexual tension focus between them while they were eye fucking each other talking and Radovid managed to give Jaskier back his lute.

These two can go from the awkwardest and most dissynchronized

to the smoothest and most seamless social interactions in a matter of seconds, I swear!

#Radovid #Jaskier #Radskier #My Posts #My Thoughts #My Stuff #Things I randomly hyperfocus on...#Apparently...

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aurorafables · 5 months

Text

From the Grey, Chapter 1.

Let's get is started. :) I'm very excited, and I hope you will like it bc I loved to write it.

Pairing: Noah Sebastian X Nicholas Ruffilo

Warnings: 18+, Explicit, Angst, Past character death, Suicidal thoughts

Tags: M/M, Slow burn, Childhood friends, Friends to lovers, Family drama, Band fic

Word Count: 4.2k

Cross-posted: AO3

Author's note: This was originally written in Hungarian, and I'm still looking for a proofreader, so please forgive me the mistakes, strange expressions. Hope it's still enjoyable. Let me know, what do you think. :) Also let me know if you want to be tagged in the upcoming parts :)

Summary: In Noah's life, his best friend was the light, the way out of the abuse he suffered at home. After a childhood full of trauma, in which he was stripped of his wings so many times, he moves in with Nick, whose goal is to let him fly. The band, Bad Omens, led by Noah, begins to soar, which brings at least as many problems as joy. As teenagers grow into men, Noah and Nick drift closer and closer to each other, and the boundaries of friendship and love completely merge.

Chapter 1.

It would be difficult to say exactly when it started. It was as if the dynamic between the two of us had completely changed without being noticed. I could compare it to when I'm doing a tattoo and I want to create a nice color gradient to make the design look as realistic as possible. The point is that you can't tell where one color ends and the other color begins. Even between us, the transition from wanting to hug him in a friendly way to kissing him passionately was imperceptible.

Maybe I woke up like that one day, but it's also possible that the desire had been brewing in me for weeks, months, years, I just blocked it deep down. And what if I felt that little spark the first time we met, but I was still almost a child and couldn't identify it? I have to start this story somewhere. And like most fairy tales, it didn't start well. The mood of the whole band was cast by melancholy over the loss of a friend. But like all dead artists, Keaton remained immortal. His voice will live forever on the records, despite the fact that he was not with us anymore. The music of Too Close To Touch mingled with the cohesive low murmur of the crowd outside in the club's concert hall, where Keaton's vocals echoed painfully through the walls. "Death is not a game with the ones I hold close She was mine, mine, you can't deny Three years is too quick to die"* All his anger, all his pain were in the song he wrote about his little sister, who died lying on a hospital bed. In the text, he blamed God for choosing little Eiley over him. The poor boy had no idea at the time that they were both chosen… Personally, I would have liked to break something if I remembered that he was gone now, and I could only reassure myself that maybe they were already up there together. If it even exists up there. Because what if up there is actually only two meters underground?

The song didn't come at the best moment, because we had to go on stage right after, and I might be able to hide my mood in front of the audience… I glanced at Noah and my heart sank when I saw him banging his head against the wall, clutching the microphone in his hand, next to the stage, which we will soon have to walk up to. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, which I completely forgot to do in parallel. I was so worried about him. I knew he'd hate himself for that if his voice cracked while singing the opening lines of The Death Of Peace Of Mind. His maximalism was what he could torture himself with the most. Also, he had to be up there alone at the beginning of the song, we didn't join until later. I walked to him and gently put my hand on his shoulder, but I still managed to scare him a little because he pulled away before he opened his eyes. When he saw me, he almost snuggled back into my hand. It reminded me of my very first cat, the little black ball of fur I found on the street when I was barely ten. I named him Dusk because of his color and when he came to us I did everything I could to fatten him up. We slept together in my bed at night, because his soft purr always lulled me to sleep quickly. It was amazing how much Dusk and Noah were alike. Even in the semi-darkness next to the stage, my best friend's dark brown eyes glistened with unshed tears, which he tried to quickly blink away. His shoulders slumped forward in the thin linen jacket, and I'd bet his fingers were white under the faux-leather glove he wore on his left hand, clutching the microphone like a lifeline. He and Keaton were very close. In the last two years, they spent a lot of time together, especially during and after the Covid epidemic, when it was possible to travel. Even when they were far away, they kept in touch on a daily basis. Keaton was good with all of us, but he had a stronger bond with Noah. He wanted to remember him by playing their songs during the break after our opening band, but Eiley's song has never come at such a bad time.

“We can extend the time for five more minutes,” I told him, and meanwhile I looked back at Jolly, who was still fiddling with his headphones with the help of a sound technician, and Folio was deep in his own thoughts drumming on the wall, sometimes doing shoulder circles as a warm-up. "Everything's fine," Noah replied in a weak voice, to which I nodded hesitantly, lowered my hand, and took a step back. "I'm worthless to the world You're innocent and pure God, why didn't you choose me over her?”* They signaled to Noah, who gave a thumbs up as if everything was fine. Nonsense. I knew nothing was okay. Keaton's voice faded outside and soon the intro to our song began. I looked down at my guitar and after stretching my fingers I strummed a few chords just to pass the time. When Noah walked out and the crowd cheered, he wasn't as lost as he had been two minutes ago. He immediately filled the stage and sang like a fucking siren without faltering. I shook my head, feeling a little angry at myself for constantly underestimating him. It was about time to get used to that Noah wasn't ruined by all the crap that happened around him. On the contrary, it only strengthened him even more.

Two months later, I was sitting on the steps of the tour bus in Phoenix, beer in one hand and a half-smoked cigarette in the other, when I heard Noah's footsteps behind me. After a concert he liked to clear his head, so I thought he was going for his usual walk and I thought that I could join. I stood up to let him go, and when he stepped next to me, I was hit by the smell of his perfume. He had just stuffed his wallet into the back pocket of his pants, so I began to suspect that he had other plans for that evening. “Karin is in the city,” he said to me, but he didn't look at me, just watched the night lights. The blue neon lights of the bar glistened on the brunette's hair, and the tattoos running down his arms coiled around his skin like snakes. I thought I still had time. I thought I could figure something out before they met again in Salt Lake City. I blew out the last of the smoke, extinguished the butt, then slipped out of my denim jacket and held it out to him. “We will leave in the morning, be here by then.” Noah hesitantly took my jacket and looked at me. “That's it?” he asked in disbelief. I don't know what he expected. Maybe to remind him again that woman is crazy like hell? "I'm tired," I confessed to him. ”I can't save you from someone whose arms you keep running into. But I can do something to save you from catching a cold,” I gestured towards the jacket. He still didn't move, even though the situation was becoming more and more pressing for me, and the spring night wasn't nearly warm enough to keep me from getting goosebumps. I wrapped my arms around myself and hobbled in place. I kicked small stones with my boots on the asphalt of the parking lot and waited. I didn't care if I froze there, I wouldn't leave Noah alone as long as he needed me. The boys' laughter could be heard from inside the bus, a car honked on the street not far from us. I raised my head and immediately met a pair of dark eyes. Stared. I don't know how long or why. I swear he didn't even blink. Then he reached out and touched my arm under the sleeve of my shirt. “You are cold.” I blinked a few times, then started to move. I took the jacket from his hands and draped it over his shoulders. “But you don't have to be cold,” I answered him with an encouraging smile. “Everything will be okay. I will be okay,” he said quietly and gloomily. I don't know which of us he wanted to convince with this, but it didn't work. The smile immediately melted off my face. “Noah…” It's been a long time since my voice sounded so desperate when I said his name. I think all my fear must have been on my face because Noah took a step back and shook his head. I was ready to try again to get him to stay. We could have done so many things. From walking to sitting down to play video games with the boys. Or we could have gone to a nightclub to drink and to flirt with girls. Whatever, just don't let that cunt touch him again… He brushed his hair back and shrugged as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “I have to go, Nick. We will talk in the morning.” And that was it. There was nothing I could do to keep him there.

I got home from the tattoo salon late that night and was so tired that all I could think about was my bed. But as soon as I stepped through the door, the strong smell of weed hit me. It went through the small apartment so intensely that I almost got sick of it. "Shit," I muttered to myself as I kicked off my shoes, dropped my bag on the floor, and headed for the bedroom with the goal of scolding Noah. The door was not locked on the little hole we called the bedroom, which was completely filled with my bed and the mattress that Noah had been sleeping on for months. When I entered, he was sitting on the bed, knees pulled up to his chin, and he was holding a weed cigarette between his long, thin fingers. As if he had completely forgotten about it, the ash fell onto my blanket and I was amazed that it hadn't caught fire yet. Noah didn't even notice I got home because he was listening to music on his earphones, and I was sure he was just physically in the room by the way he looked. I leaned towards him, took the cigarette from his fingers and crushed it in the ashtray. With that, I finally drew attention to myself, because after he looked up at me tensely, with red eyes. The Asian features of his face came to life, which normally I would have stared in fascination, but this was not a normal case. I forgot I wanted to yell at him for wasting the weed and almost setting our apartment on fire. Because by then we both owned that little flat. In the corner, next to my guitar, there was also his. Noah's things appeared in the bathroom, his shampoo, his toothbrush, he got half of my wardrobe and sometimes half of my bed… His clothes were just as messily scattered as mine, and he already had his favorite mug, from which he preferred to sip his coffee in the morning. I wanted to think that his eyes were red from smoking weed, but when he spoke, I had no doubt that he must have been crying for hours.

"I thought you'd come home earlier today," he said in a nasal tone after stopping the music and taking out his earphones. In the meantime, I opened the window without holding him responsible for why he did not do so. “I thought so too,” I answered him, then I fell down on the bed next to him. ”Another guest came at seven, and thought I would do miracles in two hours with an old, messed-up tattoo.” Noah nodded, then slowly stretched out his infinite legs. He was only sixteen then, but already a little taller than me. We sat speechless for a while and looked at each other. I was even more overcome by fatigue, and for a moment my eyes were probably closed too long while blinking, because I was jolted when Noah moved next to me. He took a deep breath, then let it out shakily. Our tattooed arms touched and I could feel the tremors running through his bones as he reached for his phone. Oh my god, he was so skinny. If I touched his arms, I was afraid I would crush him as if his limbs were made of thin glass fibers. “I got a message,” he whispered into the dimness, then put the phone on my thigh. I picked it up with a scared heart and started reading. I had a guess of what it might be, and honestly… I just didn't understand why it didn't come sooner. At first, Noah's mother tried to lure her son back to her side with sweet, but poisoned words, which in the end turned into mere threats. Every fucking word she wrote made me feel nauseous. “After half a year, she remembered that she had an underage son. Maybe she expects some kind of reward for it?” I asked, but mostly I meant it as a poetic question.

Noah tensed up next to me and started breathing faster. “I… I can't go back there. If… if you say I have to go back to her, I… rather… I…” "Hey Noah, I would never say that," I turned to him and tried to speak in the most soothing voice possible. But I was too late… By that time, tears were already falling, and he was clutching the crumpled bottom of his two-size-larger shirt. I was totally in shock because I had never seen anything like this before. What kind of friend is who doesn't recognize that the problem is so big? Noah was an old soul with a lot of shit and loss behind him, who blended in perfectly with the adults, so I tended to forget that he was still just a kid. But now there was a child next to me who was terrified. Whom fear brought out the worst. "I shouldn't be here," he said between sobs, to which I shook my head so fast that my hair hit my cheek. I knelt on the bed, turned to face him and tried to remove his fingers from his clothes. I just wanted to hold his hand… I just wanted him to know I was with him. “Noah…No! Don't tell me this!” I protested loudly, but he didn't listen to me. It's like he didn't even hear what I said. Instead, he drove himself deeper and deeper into madness. “I should have died a long time ago…years ago.” If he had only stabbed a dagger into my stomach with his words, this was the moment he twisted it. My chest felt tight and I couldn't breathe. Noah snapped his head back hard and his skull hit the wall loudly. After that, I couldn't focus on my own panic anymore, without thinking I put my hand on his head to protect him from himself. I didn't care that I might not be able to tattoo. My fingers ached as they met the hard wall, but I didn't really notice the pain. All I cared about was Noah and how I could keep him safe. I've been trying to figure out how to fix this. His cries and animalistic whining still ring in my ears, mixed with the sound of my heart's frantic beating. I wrapped my arms around his head and pulled him close as he just cried and cried, his tears completely soaking my shirt. He was hugging my thighs as I knelt next to him, finally not wanting to hurt himself anymore.

That night, I only left his side when I brought him water from the kitchen. Then we both got into bed and Noah turned to face me, but half of his red face from crying was hidden in the pillow and the other half was covered by his hair. I quickly got rid of my tight jeans, threw them on the side of the bed and took his phone in my hand. He was watching what I was doing, but he didn't speak. First, without any guilt, I deleted his mother's message, then opened his music. It didn't surprise me that he was listening to Castle Of Glass by Linkin Park when I got home. I flipped through the playlist and started our favorite song As Cities Burn after giving him one of the earbuds. "Won't you come down, heaven. Won't you come down? Won't you cut through the clouds? Won't you come down?”** At the first chorus, he already closed his eyes, and only then did I allow myself to relax a little. I carefully reached towards him, smoothed the strands falling from his face behind his ears, and then I closed my eyes too. I begged myself to fall into a dreamless sleep. In the morning, when we woke up, Noah helped me untangle the earbuds’ cord from my hair. We parted laughing, shoving a piece of toast into our mouths. He went to a band rehearsal, and I went to a place that has become my second home, the tattoo salon. My fingers got away with it quite well, with a small bruise on one of the joints, which only started to hurt a little towards the end of the day. We didn't discuss anything else about that night. Maybe I regret it since then, but what can I say? I was just a scared kid too, too stupid to help his friend more. Noah's mother died less than two months later. I didn't feel for a minute that she was a loss to the world.

He has become a grown man since and he doesn't need me to protect him from the world. I watched motionless as he walked down the street to get into a taxi. His tall, thin figure disappeared around the corner and I could finally get my legs moving. I got on the bus, grabbed a new bottle of beer from the fridge and joined the others. Folio showed Matt some funny videos and Jolly typed a message on his phone. I sat next to him on the couch and started reading the news. "He won't be able to do this for long," said Jolly next to me in a strong Swedish accent. When it was late and he was tired, he didn't pay so much attention to speaking English with perfect pronunciation. But there's nothing wrong with that, we've been working together for so long, and we've been friends for so long that we understand each other with half a word. “What do you mean?” I turned to him. I slipped out of my boots, slid off the couch, and put my feet up on the small table. I rested my head on the backrest and wiped the steam from the side of the glass with my thumb. “For Noah's secret night meetings. Matt had told him before when saw that he wanted to go out on the town all by himself.” “It doesn't happen that often. And it's not a secret where he's going, he told me he was meeting Karin,” I took him to my defense immediately. “Anyway, why can't he go? The fans had left for an hour, no one was out there. And it's not that he hit the town on foot. He called a taxi.” “That girl is strange,” Jolly grimaced. You do not say.. “When she came to our place, Noah wasn't quite himself.” Recently, I felt guilty for not trying to stop him more firmly, but I reminded myself: Noah pointed out rather angrily during an argument about this that I can't protect him from everything. "If a little fuck puts him in a better mood, we're all fine with that," Folio interjected when Matt left us alone. Maybe I gave him a nasty look from behind my beer bottle, because he held his hands up defensively. I took another sip, then realized I didn't even want the beer. I put the bottle on the table, brushed my teeth in our small bathroom, and went to sleep. At least I wanted to sleep, but I must have been tossing and turning for another hour.

It felt like I had barely closed my eyes when something started to tingle my nose. I brushed it off at first, but then Noah's soft chuckle crept into my consciousness. I groaned then pulled the pillow over my head planning to go back to sleep. I kicked the blanket off because I was hot, and it turned out, it was a big mistake. Ice cold fingers touched my side, the muscles in my stomach jumped and I let out a muffled moan. “Fuck me!” I grumbled hoarsely as I caught Noah's hand, who was just putting the other one in front of my mouth. "Shh, the others are still sleeping," he whispered excitedly with sparkling eyes. “I want to sleep too,” I answered after pulling his hand away from my mouth. “Come on, Nick. I'm hungry. I want breakfast.” “Why can’t you eat?” “Missing your company.” I sighed. “Go to the kitchen. Give me five minutes and I'll be there.” "If I leave you here, you'll go back to sleep," he said accusingly, as if he had every right not to let me go back to sleep. “And I would go a little further for breakfast than the bus kitchen. But I promise, it's worth it. You will love the place.” Another sigh, but I sat up with half-closed eyes, then pulled on a pair of pants and a thick hoodie. My jacket was still on him and he didn't seem like he wanted to give it back.

After five minutes, Noah got off the bus energetically, and I, wrapped in my hoodie, got off the bus grumpily. It was just dawn, around half past six. Noah finally slowed his steps and stopped in front of me, facing me. My hair would have been a complete disaster, not to mention the pillow creases on my face, or my eyes, which I could barely keep open. "You're sweet when you are sleepy," he said finally. He looked at me with a smile, then pulled the hood over my head and did the same with his own. ”I don't want to be recognized.” “Come on! Who would be awake this early?” I asked sarcastically, yawning into my palm. We walked down the street and luckily he was right, we really didn't have to walk far before we got to the breakfast place. Too tired to read the sign, I just entered the small but friendly coffee shop and sighed as I was greeted by a pleasant warmth inside. I said hello to the gray lady behind the counter. When I saw the first cat, licking its paws on a chair, I turned to Noah questioningly, who just shrugged. "I thought you missed your little monsters," he said. A big smile spread across my face. A cat café. I was already less sleepy when I crouched next to the kitten and let him sniff my hand. Then I noticed even more hairballs and I didn't even know which one to go to. Meanwhile, Noah ordered us coffee and breakfast at the counter. I heard the old lady laughingly answer him when asked why they were open so early: “If the kittens wake up, why can't I open the cafe?”

I smiled as I scratched the head of a calico sitting next to the wall, and we blinked at each other for a long time. After ordering, Noah came over and sat next to me. "The chick likes you," he remarked when the kitten was placed on my lap. “What kind of chick? She is a lady here,” I caressed the hairy ears. Laughing softly, Noah leaned forward and, using the kitten etiquette he'd learned from me, introduced himself to our newest friend before petting her. Now that the hood was off his head, I noticed the bite marks on his neck. The dark red spot was located right on the border between his tattoo and his bare skin so that it was just noticeable. I swallowed, tore my gaze from his neck, and reassured myself that Noah didn't seem as lost now as he did after most of his meetings with Karin. Maybe she has changed. Maybe she finally realized what she had to lose? Noah's fingers accidentally touched mine in the kitten's soft fur, and we smiled at each other as the furball began to purr loudly. I haven't seen Noah this happy since before Keaton's death. Maybe Karin isn't so bad after all? We ate breakfast sitting on the floor with a cat each in our laps and had to run back to the bus before departure.

*Too Close To Touch - Eiley **As Cities Burn - Contact

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