planetoid-frutiger

[silverloreley]

I was thinking about how, on the Isle, instead of death, there's the Sleep. Something that should have killed them instead sends them into a coma until they're recovered enough to wake.

But you also said that for every Sleep they suffer, it takes something away from them, as though a part of them did die after all. It makes them weaker - physically, mentally. Every time it happens, they wake up a little bit less than they were before.

Suppose you have parents that do care about their kids, because not every parent on the Isle can be horrible. Some parents do care for their children and want what's best for them, insofar as they can have that on the Isle.

But then they fall into the Sleep. Maybe they got sick. Maybe there was a fight or battle. Whatever the reason, many parents, good and bad, would have died several times over the course of their children's childhood if not for the Sleep.

And they wake up, time and again, and are weaker, each time. Maybe it's mentally; they can't focus long enough to do much. Maybe it's physically; they're ill, and can't care for their children.

And so you have children on the Isle whose parents do care for them but, thanks to the Sleep, cannot actually do anything concrete about that. So you have an entire generation of children being neglected and left almost entirely to their own devices.

Yes, that's pretty much correct, and that's why I think my interpretation is more cruel than letting them actually die, there's stuff of nightmares behind the apparently light and silly Descendants (which I find very compelling, tbh).

The idea of decent parents struggling with terrible living conditions and their kids suffering for it is what makes the punishment most cruel, the "good" idea was to teach the villains to care by using their own children so they'd choose to make themselves a good life for their sake, but it just, sort of backfires when the living conditions are pitiful and the only way to grant kids a semi-decent life is either become minions or get worse criminals. It's more or less the reason why prisons don't actually lower criminality rates: if you give people no better choice, they'll fall back into bad roads, or even worse than before.

About the permanent damages, I meant to tackle the issue when talking about Jay's mother, in his case, Jafar took the chance to have complete control over Jay and it's not the only one.

Oh, good parents! In one of my fics I'll have a mention of Claudine's mother stabbing Frollo's comatose body every week or so to keep him under. Will, Anastasia Tremaine's husband, in my verse went under the Sleep two or three times and the last is when Anthony decides to take things into his hands and becomes the protector of the family in his stead. Facilier, on the other hand, manages to avoid death so swiftly that he's basically the same as he was before the Isle. Zarina depleted her magic and that's why Harriet had to raise her siblings... And so on.

There are many instances worthy of being explored, the idea of a not-death but with consequences, short or long-term as it can be, has many ramifications, many more than just death can have imho.

[galedekarios]

i'm reading a new interview tim downie gave about gale and it offers some of tim's own headcanons about gale, as well as tim's thoughts and insights on gale's character:

Nerds & Beyond: I like that you mentioned that the game is full of rounded characters because they are, they all have different aspects that make them feel real. I adore that Gale specifically is so serious and studious, but at the same time he has this really playful side — he often jokes about how he was a mischievous youth, he encourages other people like Arabella to do so, he understands when The Dark Urge first mentions their violent thoughts. There is a lot of nuance and depth there. But the quality that I love with Gale most is that obviously he is very ill when we first meet him – not that we know immediately – and he’s dealing with a lot of chronic pain. I find him incredibly selfless because he takes that day-to-day head on to help the party, which is an aspect I feel continues to show throughout the three acts. What’s your favorite quality of Gale’s, or what did you take away from him? Tim Downie: It’s so interesting hearing you say that, because I had so many different feedbacks about what people take from the character and sometimes things really surprise you. It’s interesting hearing that such and such has taken that particular aspect, because there are broad things like “He’s funny,” and that’s quite nice, that’s a nice trait, though not one you necessarily get to see that much. It’s so interesting hearing other people’s views about what they take from Gale.  The idea of dealing with chronic pain I found really interesting and an interesting subplot to play, and that was the great thing about doing something like this is that it is so unbelievably nuanced. You have so many layers that just keep going and going and going, as much as we all contain multitudes within ourselves. We all deal with these things, but only certain things pop up to the surface at any given point.  What did I take from Gale, though? I liked his studiousness. I would imagine that he was probably bullied as a kid for it, and he was probably a bit of a joker because he was bullied, and he uses that as a defense. But an even bigger defense for him is “I now know stuff that I didn’t before,” and that’s a power. It’s very similar to when you are being bullied and you’re the funny one – that’s your power, that’s your thing. “I may not be able to hurt you in a traditional sense, but I can say things that will make you feel pain,” which is a very different thing because you physically can’t go after them.  That’s the wonderful thing about acting and this character as well is being able to explore all these things that you might not have, that you might have gone, “I’m not gonna look at that again, I don’t want to deal with that,” and then it brings it up again and it’s like, “Oh, this is actually quite cathartic,” to re-explore these these moments of sorrow and loss and how you deal with grief and things like that and heartbreak and how you get over that.  It’s not all just tears, you do try and make a joke of it.

i really like that they are addressing the topic of gale's chronic pain. it's something that doesn't get addressed often, not even in the game itself.

i also found his answer as to why people might connect to gale very nice:

Nerds & Beyond: Gale is the most popular origin character to play as. What is it about him that you think allows so many different players to connect with him to the depths the fandom has? Tim Downie: I really don’t know. I think you’d have to ask the players that, ‘cause I don’t know, to be quite honest with you. He’s a wizard, and who wouldn’t want to be a wizard at the end of the day? I always say the difference between wizards and sorcerers is that sorcerers just pretend – they just assume they know what they’re doing, but a wizard has really learned this trade. And so there’s that kind of weight of knowledge and learning, which I would love to play as and be for a length of time.  I think it’s also the frailties. I like characters, and a lot of people do I’m assuming, that have flaws, otherwise you’ve made them completely unapproachable. To be completely superhuman or completely extraordinary at something then removes the humanity from it because it becomes like, “Well, that’s never gonna happen.” But when there’s a flaw, when there’s, “Oh, I’ve got that wrong, too,” or like, “My knees hurt” as you say, or “I’ve got a bit of a headache. I really don’t want to do this,” “You’re really annoying me, this is very annoying, could you please hurry up?” or “Stop licking the damn thing,” it’s always those moments that are fun because it shows what we’re all thinking at that point, it removes it from almost archetype and stereotype and it becomes human in a way.

gale is approachable and likeable, has flaws, but is genuinely nice. i think that very much sums up his character.

this bit here made me laugh:

Nerds & Beyond: When you’re talking about those different layers in the humanity building, I think one of the most important aspects in this game is the more “background” or passive dialogue, so dialogue that is prompted in the world and not in the cut scenes.  For instance — the first time I made Gale sneak he immediately complained about his knees, and it was such a real moment where he was just like, “Oh, don’t make me do this. This is not what I’m here for, I’ve got bad knees and I’m not made for this.” Did you have any of those background lines or moments that stick out as being particularly fun to craft?  Tim Downie: I remember the first time I ever had to do waiting, I found it infinitely interesting in so many ways. The idea that I did actually just have to wait and just actually, “Hmm…” Those little things I find really funny because they’re probably the closest to me that the character ever gets. His waiting mannerisms are kind of very English – slightly annoyed and I’m not going to show it to you though because we’re all being very nice, but I’ll do it with a huff and a slightly sarcastic, “Well, that’s great. Another 20 minutes. That’s great.” Those kinds of sentiments I found wonderful and incredibly fun, and funny, to do. 

if you want to read the whole interview for yourself, you can do so here!

[respawned-dove]

darkfic and nsfw content will be featured, therefore minors are not allowed to interact and will be blocked if seen.

Archie / they/them / 22 years old

This is a writing blog centered around the Team Fortress 2 characters! I will take x Reader requests as well as character x character content (up to three characters for this type). I really love the BLU team please ask about them and request them! I do both headcanon lists and short fics.

Content I will do

sexual and wholesome fics alike, yandere, noncon, violence (torture, whump, murder, general gravel wars horrors), abusive dynamics, honestly most things, feel free to ask to be certain and keep in mind I have the right to deny anything I wish to. Please mind the tags and don't eat the dove if you don't want it.

About the Author

This blog is run by a system and multiple alters will write here. Archie is a collective nickname you can use for everyone for the simplicity! We are very passionate about writing and about exploring the darkest aspects of humanity through fiction. TF2 is a fairly new fandom to us, but there is so much untapped potential for dark content with these characters that I hope to dig into like an untouched goldmine. We've got some illnesses that affect energy levels, so there may be occasional necessary hiatuses. Otherwise we will be here having fun and doing what we love!

[narhinafan]

Honestly SP seems to make me hate ships that I normally would not hate because they're in the realm of fanfiction and fan art and I think that's harmless. Not taking the toxic fandoms into account it was SP that made me hate NaruSaku and Ichiruki.

I'll make this brief. Why do I now hate Ichiruki? I didn't always hate it. I was actually more of a fan of Ichiruki than Ichihime until I reread the bleach Manga last year and then watch the anime as well and I grew annoyed every time there was an Ichiruki moment. Not only does it break the pacing of scenes it makes characters acting out of character Ichigo and rukia especially. I don't mind non-canon crack ships as long as it's kept in the realm of fan art and fanfiction and not inserting it into what is supposed to be Canon moments in the story and at the expense of other characters.

What could have been an amazing movie where we explored a mirror universe instead we had NaruSaku the movie where Naruto and Sakura are acting both out of character and it kind of feels like there were two movies in one and the version that Kishimoto wrote was mostly cut from the cutting room floor.

There was a huge opportunity to explore a different aspect of Hinata and Sasuke's characters. Instead we got some stupid ship movie with NaruSaku. I mean there was so much potential with road to ninja Hinata and Sasuke and it was wasted. I mean the exact opposite of who these characters are in personality. I mean there's so much you could have explored. The best scenes of that movie arguably were like 5% of the film if even that and when you compare it to the likes of One piece strong world which came out a few years before actually respected The source material and the author you could tell the difference is night and day hell Naruto the last felt like a genuine story by Kishimoto and you can tell the difference between that film and road to ninja.

I argue that the tie into the movie was better than the movie itself because it actually explored Ino and explored the road to ninja version of Sakura who arguably was more likable than her canon counterpart. It's rare that you get to explore near universe versions of characters concepts are usually explored in science fiction and the very fact that SP wasted a cool concept was tossed aside for a freaking ship that had no chance in hell ever being Canon will never not piss me off.

SP makes it seem like every anime they seem to do a series of it makes it seem like that series is concerned with shipping and I don't think shipping is bad but it should never come at the expense of a Canon story written by the author. The author and only the author in my eyes in an official product should be able to dictate what ships happen and what ships don't for better or for worse we're not the people that choose who ends up with who the author does. This shipping bullshit kills the integrity in my opinion of these stories that we all enjoy because it seems like certain people are more concerned with the shipping aspect then the actual story

Honestly I was never a fan of Sakura, but it was more her fandom that made me hate her, SP's bias was just the icing on the cake that gave me more reason to dislike it.

I am more of an IchiRuki fan I watched the anime long before the manga hence all the scenes made me a fan though I have nothing against IchiHime and after reading the manga it was obvious why they happened and that SP was really bias towards IchiRuki through out the anime. Its no surprise the author had complaints and refused to let them do another season without his supervision.

Yes RTN was ruined by NaruSaku honestly considering it was set after Pain's confession and none canon it could have tied into Hinata's feelings for Naruto/Menma while exploring a different take. I really want to know why Menma ended up dark side considering he had a family and Hinata clearly loved him. It could have been a sweet story where Hinata toughened up to help Menma after people rejected him for the fox.

So true SP's shipping bias is so unprofessional and as you said ruins the integrity of the stories as they force a ship that contradicts canon and usually in ways that aren't believable.

[ilynpilled]

do you believe jc’s endgame is to die together?

i think i have communicated much of this already, but let’s just say i am more open to the possibility than most jb/jaime ppl, but i am not at all as certain of it happening as most ppl in general fandom seem to be, and i am also not a huge fan of it personally. here is my perspective:

yeah, it is explicitly integrated into their belief system. it faded from jaime’s, as he did abandon her, and already often contradicted it through moments of being ready to recklessly die, or his passive suicidal ideation, but it was always present as a key aspect of their ‘destined lovers’ delusion. the thing with me though is that i dont really think this is how george tends to do foreshadowing? he does love to be unpredictable. and i have seen this argument many times before by other people who doubt this being their trajectory. not to mention the whole idea seems to get deliberately deconstructed over time.

jaime comes to the realization that she was the stranger (and we know he is cersei’s stranger, but she does not think he means death). he starts treating the relationship very differently (george says they are “effectively estranged”), and their fate is no longer entwined in his head. them saying they will die together is telegraphing that is very in your face. i mean the text is telling us what would happen explicitly. is that supposed to be deliberate and meant to be a tragic irony? i can see it working from that perspective maybe. but i think this aspect would still be effective without the double death necessarily, even though i can see how the wording may be deliberate here, i just have certain thematic gripes with it. we know these two are not supposed to be reliable narrators when they say this. their relationship is a twisted attempt at self-love. again, i get that there is a subversion happening with cersei being killed by him for one, but is the belief system supposed to end up “endorsed” by the text from the pov of jaime’s character, even if it is tragically ironic? what i am saying is that ig i would be more certain of it happening if cersei did not keep repeating it explicitly atp while jaime is completely contradicting it simultaneously. if they are supposed to doom each other, what is really the point of that divergence? of the deconstruction of such a narrative in jaime’s head? why not send jaime back and have him not make those kind of key choices? jaime’s arc is supposed to be about choices (“whatever he chose…”), and defining his own fate and identity (like you do not even have to believe it is about exploring redemption to get this out of the text), so i really still cannot help but dislike the idea that this is set in stone despite everything that he keeps doing and the choices that he keeps on making. like there is an essentialist aspect to this belief system that i would prefer to be subverted honestly from the perspective of his character. i want all of these choices to have some kind of result (the letter, oathkeeper, the pit, rejecting her because of certain ultimatums even before the cheating reveal, abandoning the pursuit of the brotherhood for the vow to cat in adwd). + the hand that held her foot could have very well been the one that got chopped, so there is symbolism there. he is not tied to her. and that hand loss and “change” is constantly emphasized when it comes to JC. and i really do not want jaime to die before having some kind of confrontation with bran tbh. and i have talked about the widow’s wail thing before. if jaime is gonna wield it (which i think there is a set up for), then he would have to come out of KL alive with it. the weirwood dream also has them separate. her torch being the ‘only light in the world’ is replaced by brienne’s sword’s fire being the only one still burning in his darkness when the ghosts rush in.

this is another argument that i have seen before, and see validity in. george does write that belief system as something that has an element of ‘sociopathy.’ like of course it isn’t meant to be ‘romantic’. and jaime is also growing out of it. his relationship with a lot of characters now, brienne included, is a testament. i do not at all mind if jaime dies down the line, i just really would prefer it if there is some form of triumph over the self when it comes to his ending. i also atm cannot imagine how it would go, and what would cause jaime’s death, and how they would “leave the world together” logistically with the valonqar prophecy existing. so while i think george might be capable of executing it in a way that i could like, and i see that tragic irony working out, i still am not crazy about it as a concept atm for all the reasons above. we will see.

[hopeymchope]

re: toxic fanbases. I'm not good at telling what fanbases are toxic. I'm both a doormat ("that rando who started yelling at me all of a sudden probably has a good reason and I'm dumb for not seeing it 👍") and a weirdo who tends to stay within very small circles. With Danganronpa, I feel like there's *something* that makes it a little jarring compared to other communities, although it's by far not the worst community I've personally interacted with.

Its popularity definitely plays a massive role; it's actually impressive to see how active Danganronpa circles remain after all this time, but the downside is that there's a lot of brainrot, distant memories, and most importantly people who've been involved with it for WAY too long. I myself have definitely grown horribly bored of having the same tired debates be brought up time and time again - I can imagine people with a different personality from mine getting very upset over that.

Though I don't feel a connection to that aspect at this time, the prevalent young fanbase also comes with its qualities and flaws.

I could go on, because this community is so large and so old that it's genuinely, like I already mentioned, jarring at times. I'll turn my back from being told DRAE is irredeemable media because it uses dark humour to see someone draw a Komaru with giant tits requesting coitus. There are times when interacting with Danganronpa fans has made me wish I'd just never known about Danganronpa at all, so all things considered, even if I can't put words on it, there's a strong negative aspect to it.

At the same time, I don't know how it being Danganronpa specifically relates to some negative experiences I had - was some of the abuse I endured as a Wiki admin related to the way the DR fandom is? Or did it have to do with Wikis more than it did with DR, with French users more than it did DR? Maybe the problem is that this series has given so many of us such intense brainrot and we can't stop getting involved with it.

Sorry if this long ask is annoying in any way - I figured you might be interested in exploring the conversation around how the DR fandom might come across as toxic, objectively or subjectively OTL

One thing I remember for sure is that when I posted Akudama Drive LGBTQ headcanons, I felt perfectly fine and happy about it - but when I decided to post my Danganronpa headcanons too, I had a strong feeling that I was taking a risk, however small. That's not a very nice feeling to get as an adult who's just trying to be a little happy and silly with PNGs.

Oh, I don't mind a long ask at all! I'm grateful for the detailed thought you put into this, honestly. :) I'm a pretty wordy person myself — you may have noticed.

I think a lot of what you're describing as negatives within the DR community are unfortunate constants with fandoms of ANY popular media these days. Not ALL of it, but....

Every piece of media is gonna be declared irredeemable/offensive/problematic by some parties now if it delves into any kind of darkness or deals with any kind of major crimes, it seems like I've seen more than one person online state — with a straight face, mind you — stuff like "Danganronpa is toxic AF, many of those characters are LITERALLY murderers" and I'm just over here thinking are you fucking serious? I don't remember seeing people say stuff like this in my fandom circles before 2019 or so, but I see it everywhere now. It seems to have grown more prevalent since the 2020s hit? There are people who just can't stand to deal with any moral grayness, any dark theming, etc — and they don't think anyone else should allowed to enjoy that stuff either. (Now I'm wondering whether there are people similarly dismissing Akudama Drive. Much smaller fandom, so maybe you don't see that. But I can imagine someone grumbling "These characters are LITERALLY criminals, wtf." LOL)

We all know Internet Rule 34, but I feel like there are certain built-in multipliers to it that increase how widespread it is. Animated media? That's a multiplier that will cause even MORE porn to exist. Japanese media? That's another multiplier. Which means there's tons of porn of DR characters — even for the teen characters that're underage in most countries like Komaru. At least I've never stumbled across porn of the small children like the Warriors of Hope, THANK FUCKING GOD. I sadly don't doubt that it exists, but I hope to god it remains in a dark corner, out of my goddamn sight.

And I definitely feel much, MUCH more afraid to say anything about LGBTQ headcanons for popular media than I do for relatively small fandoms. Maybe that's partly symptomatic of being American in an era where tolerance and acceptance of LGBTQ people is sliding horiffically backwards? At least I think I'm safter to share such things on Tumblr than I would be on Reddit. I'd be afraid to talk about my personal DR LGBTQ headcanons, too. I've even drafted a post about that once and then been like "You know what? No. I'm not opening myself up to abuse for this," leading me to delete it. I've done similarly for the Madoka Magica fandom as well... too active, too big = too likely to result in blowback. I believe Akudama Drive is a pretty small fandom, though, so it makes sense to me why that'd feel like a more comfortable place to talk LGBTQ concepts.

But with all of that said, I can't claim that the infighting over interpretations of characters and events that I see on the DR Wiki is something that every fandom deals with. Maybe some of them do; honestly, Fandom Wikis weren't really so huge a thing before I got deep into DR in the back half of the 2010s, and I haven't really gotten involved with any of the Fandom Wikis I've come across afterwards either. So I don't know for sure! But it seems like that could be uniquely unpleasant about the DR fandom — the way people define "canon" as a matter of personal interpretation.

Since I'm stuck on the English side of the DR Wiki, I'm not certain whether you deal with the same stuff in the French incarnation. Characters like Komaeda and Ouma are especially difficult to police — they have so many fans who think they are pure of heart, and so many fans who find them loathesomely manipulate, and you can't necessarily be certain what about them is true or false. Put all that together, and it's hard to keep things to "Just The Facts" when people fundamentally disagree on what the facts ARE, which can lead to a lot of infighting among the people editing the thing! God... even deciphering the truth about what's going on in V3 and determining how we should or shouldn't explain that haziness is an awfully sticky wicket all by itself.

[thelioncourts]

What are some of the worst IwtV takes you've seen on Twitter/Tumblr

oh god

kink shaming. like, in general, but in anne rice's world? are you joking?

book fans thinking the show is going to cater entirely to the books and show fans thinking the show isn't going to include certain aspects of the books. neither of you are correct.

the inability to accept that lestat does, and will continue to do, bad things. of course they all will, it's not lestat that solely does bad things, but there's this weird stan-crusade that's like 'he's a perfect angel baby, he had trauma as a kid' and yes, he did have severe trauma as a kid, but no, he's not good. we're talking about a character that, as the protagonist of the series, rapes and assaults and murders and does all these things. you can still love him! believe me, you can!! but accept that he's not good. point above brings me to my next point: the villainization of fans for liking "~problematic~" things and/or characters. this is tvc, they're all problematic and they all participate in and do problematic things. your favorite is not good. the hypocrisy is. a lot.

people not getting that louis being black does change a lot of things, make things different; yes, he's still louis, but if you think him being black is not a game changer in his characterization, idk what to tell you. it's very obvious from the research the writers' room was posting before the strike, in the interviews given by cast and crew, and every aspect of the show.

there's more but these are the big ones. I just think a lot of people are in the wrong fandom. not in a 'I'm trying to gate-keep this fandom from others' but in a 'if you can't handle kinks that aren't your own being explored in fanfic or accept the darkness of this world and want to sanitize it, maybe you should go to a different fandom.'

[liladiurne]

20 questions for fic writers!

Thanks for tagging me @givereadersahug

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I've only just reached 14!!! But one of those is a translation of an already published work, so technically it's 13.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

571 k

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just HP for now.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Brighter Than Bright

On the Deficiencies of Translation Spells

Miraculous

Certain Dark Things

with great outbursts and lightnings

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Sometimes it takes a while, because I need lots of energy to respond, but I try to respond to each and every comment, even if I don't have anything particular to say. Leaving comments is harder than it seems, and I'm grateful for anyone who takes the time to tell me how they feel about about my fics.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Mmm. Probably Sudden Light. It's not so much an unhappy ending, more of an open ending, but I guess that because there is no obvious closure, it can be seen as a pretty angsty ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh that's hard... It's probably a tie between On the Deficiencies of Translation Spells and Certain Dark Things. Both have similar "and they lived happily ever after" endings.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not hate, no. Just questionable and sometimes rude-ish comments. Which I just ignore and delete now. I used to spend so much energy on trying to reason with those people and justify why I wrote the things they questioned or didn't like. I understand now that I can't please everyone, and I don't bother interacting with those readers anymore. And I'm not above blocking people to protect myself and avoid drama.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yessss! The filthy kind!! 🤣 Okay, no, I really really enjoy reading porn with feelings. So that's what I try to write.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't written one yet, but I'd really love to someday. They are a ton of work though. If I did, I think I'd love a LOTR crossover... I'm just absolutely in love with that universe and would love to explore it more and maybe have all my favourite characters mingle!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, by myself. I have some trust issues when it comes to my works and those have caused me to refuse any translation requests. I hope, in time, I can get over this fear. But I've had fun translating one of my own fics into French, and I'm hoping to translate more in the future.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I would love to!!! I think I would find it hard to do though, because I get very possessive of my ideas and things usually take shape so vividly in my head that I would find it hard to compromise on certain aspects of a fic. But with the right person, I would love to try a collab!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Snarry, no question. But I do enjoy reading Harry with anyone. He's my baby and I'll always support him! He just deserves all the love! And all the sexy times!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Probably Brighter Than Bright. I'm not doubting I will finish it, I know I will, in time, but I just don't know when. Because it's such a big endeavour and I've been having inspiration problems with that fic for a long time.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm really good at writing introspection. It comes easy to me anyway... if that's how we define strength?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogues, probably. It's the aspect of writing I struggle with the most.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I did it and it's fun! But it's important to double check with a native speaker and make sure it's all good.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

HP all the way.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I would normally say with great outbursts and lightnings, because it's my very first snarry and the most precious to me, for many reasons. But I think my favourite may actually be Certain Dark Things. Because it was so fun to write, because I love the imagery and the atmosphere of this fic to death. And it's based (loosely) on my favourite book, so it would make sense why I love it so much.

Tagging: anyone who wants to play! I don't want to bother anyone, so please if you feel like doing this, pretend I tagged you. 🥰

[rollercoasterwords]

☕️

Okay, I want to know your feelings about Jegulus. Do you see this ship as canon in any way? What is appealing and what can be not good about it, in your book?

hahaha boy oh boy well. hm lots to unpack here let's see.

i mean first off full disclosure right off the bat i am currently. writing two jegulus fics. so! clearly i do enjoy the ship in certain contexts and think it can be quite compelling. when i first heard about it i had very little interest but i was drawn in by, of course, the opportunities for angst and tangled relationship webs and also further exploration of the dynamic sirius has with his brother.

when it comes to canon, though, i tend to be a bit iffier about jegulus. i've never written jegulus in a canon-compliant universe and don't really have a desire to, but i have read one or two interpretations of their relationship that i enjoyed. but what i enjoy about their dynamic in canon is, predictably, the angst, and the exploration of the darker aspects of regulus's character and how james deals with that darkness. and of course the pain of jily later on down the line if regulus is watching james move on and fall in love with someone else <3

in general, though, i mostly enjoy jegulus in aus. and to be honest...i don't even really read much jegulus or seek it out. like, i have 212 hp fics bookmarked on ao3 (i bookmark fics i've read + enjoyed + want to be able to find again later) and only 7 of those are jegulus. and 2 are background jegulus lmao. so!

as for what is appealing about it. i like looking at regulus as a character who has a bit of a skewed moral compass and gets tangled up in fucked-up shit and doesn't realize he's in over his head until it's too late. i think that character creates a really fun setup for all sorts of different storylines. and i like exploring james as a character who feels an intense pressure to be like...this paragon of goodness, whose goodness is then challenged by his entanglement with regulus and the lengths that he's willing to go to for a person who he knows is just...kind of fucked-up and has done fucked-up things. like which of our own morals are we willing to sacrifice in the name of love? that question really compels me in the jegulus dynamic. and of course the messy relationship between james + sirius + regulus, exploring the black family home dynamic more and the ways it shaped sirius + regulus differently, james as a focal point of like...escape and goodness that they both turn to, in a way that sort of tugs him in different directions...honestly i just think there's a lot that can be really compelling about the ship!

that being said. what can not be good about it....well. look. everyone is allowed to enjoy this ship and these characters in whatever way they want. of course!!! however. since u ASKED. i am taking this as license to be a little bit of a hater <3

i have of course already written my rambling little philosophical essay on what i think went wrong with the jegulus fandom, so i won't go in depth on the confluence of factors that turned jegulus into such a cesspit. however i will say that the reason i don't really seek out jegulus fic very much and tend to just stick to like...reading the stuff my friends write bc i know i can trust them lmao is because i think that many of the things i find compelling about jegulus in the first place sort of get stripped away in a lot of popular fanon. like if regulus isn't morally bad in some ways i do feel like...that is just not the character i'm interested in. if there is no darkness or angst to it....well. it is not my cup of tea xx also an unpopular opinion i have is that i do not particularly want regulus to have friends lmao like i just am not really a fan of the little group of friends that has been created for him...i'm so sorry but i do not think pandora and regulus black would hang out xx and i am a barty + evan hater so i simply have no desire to read about those guys either xx

the last hater note that i will add. i cannot STAND seeing timothee chalamet's face everywhere thanks 2 the jegulus fandom. i absolutely need people to stop acting like regulus was a gorgeous little twinky model (NOT! that i think timothee chalamet is gorgeous. people act like he's the paragon of divine beauty tho). sirius is the only character in my book who u can get away with fancasting as a celebrity the rest of them....well they are all just guys. timothee chalamet is also simply my parasocial enemy i want to grind that man into dust simply for the way people foam at the mouth over him when u can walk into any intro creative writing course at a liberal arts college and find five men who look exactly the same. and that's my two cents on that!

[princeescaluswords]

what do you mean by 'not aesthetically pleasing'? I've seen you use it a few times for things that seem unrelated to aesthetics.

You've all heard the phrase "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." It's so ubiquitous it's a cliché, though a very useful one. We call a pleasurable or appreciative reaction to a particular sensory input "beauty." As we grow and accumulate experiences, we begin to understand that there is a certain set of characteristics that, singularly or in combinations, we find beautiful. This is our aesthetic, and we all have one. It's very hard to define our personal aesthetic, and sometimes it can be damaging to try, like pinning a butterfly to a board, but we know it when we sense it.

As an aside, sometimes enough individuals in a society share so many aspects of their aesthetic in common that it becomes a public aesthetic. This phenomenon can be positive or negative or sometimes both at the same time. You only have to open Tumblr to see debates about public aesthetic and the campaigns to preserve or change them.

When I use that phrase 'not aesthetically pleasing' I am 99 times out of 100 referring to my personal aesthetic. It's important to me to make a distinction between my evaluation of a cultural object's quality with how it makes me feel. My favorite example of this is The Godfather. The Godfather is among the best United States films ever made. The writing is precise in its economy, insightful into humanity, and perfectly balanced between expository detail and pacing. The acting is exquisite from Al Pacino and Marlon Brando down to Abe Vigoda. The directing and cinematography is symphonic in creating tone. The setting and action is timeless while still being aware of history and the principles explored are universal without ignoring the nature of the Mafia as a product of class uprising and xenophobic oppression. There are many reason that it is consistently listed in the top ten movie rankings, but nevertheless, I hate it.

It does not sit well with my personal aesthetics. I despise the way in the movie the victims of these criminals vanish like ephemeral soap bubbles on the screen, even though I am intellectually aware that this is deliberate because it represents how the mobster justify themselves and 'this thing of ours.' I detest how the movie makes the point that the same qualities that make Michael Corleone a war hero make him an effective don. I am unsettled by how bonds of love and family transform people into heartless murderers. This isn't a rejection of darkness or unsettling images; there are few movies darker than Kubrick's and I am aesthetically pleased by his disturbing works from The Shining to Dr. Strangelove to A Clockwork Orange.

I recognize that there is a difference between the quality of a piece of media and my aesthetic reaction to it. I think it's a significant problem in United States culture -- and especially the fandom -- that this awareness seems to have been discarded. Too many people operate under the oversimplified idea that "if I like it, it's good, and if I don't like it, it's bad." Don't get me wrong, an individual can derive aesthetic pleasure from a quality piece of media, but it's not a necessary relationship.

Take my primary fandom, Teen Wolf. While as a work of art it has significant flaws -- shoddy chronology, an overindulgence in spectacle, needless casting bungles, and a recurring practice of prioritizing the emotional trauma of white male characters and white male characters alone while portraying the neglect of the emotional trauma of characters of color and women as necessary to the plot -- most of it still provokes within me aesthetic pleasure. It's why I talk about it, but I don't try to say it's on the same level as The Godfather.

There is a resistance to separating quality from aesthetic pleasure that I lay at the feet of Post-Modern thought. No, I am not a fan of Foucault or the people he inspired. By rejecting any attempt at objective measurement, we have become bound to the subjective, and it has created a toxic cultural experience. That's why I try to be clear when I voice an opinion dependent on quality or voice an opinion based on aesthetics.

[paragonrobits]

so i unfortunately recently ran into a BUNCH of videos by a youtuber I really, really don’t like for various reasons; their vitrolic hatred of Steven Universe and refusal to think of the series in any way except a very binary moralistic view that doesn’t acknowledge the Gem’s different robot-like psychology, them constantly calling the creator of Steven Universe a Nazi despite Sugar being Jewish (and pointedly ignoring or dismissing all evidence to the contrary), having a long list of writing dos and don’t that mostly amount to ‘black and white morality is the only acceptable writing, everything must be Relatable or its bad writing, and everything i find icky is morally evil’ that i really don’t like for a lot of reasons, but that’s not the thing I feel motivated to mention right now

specifically I noticed some other videos they did on other series, and out of sheer morbid curiousity and a good helping of ‘i already hate these people, I must plumb the depths of my hatred for them and see if I am morally opposed to them on EVERY level’ and the off putting thing is that they came to some similar conclusions I have in other series, most especially in Mass Effect; that the genophage was wrong, and that the geth are more broadly sympathetic than the quarians (or at least the quarian admiralty board) and it was uncomfortable to realize that, but it made me think about WHY i felt that way and to analyze my knee-jerk responses, and I ultimately came to a few conclusions:

the first thing is that while I DO feel the genophage is ultimately wrong, and that the quarians wronged the geth, I still feel these youtubers addressed the problems in too simplistic a manner; among other things, I don’t think its right to imply the quarians deserve extinction for the actions of their ancestors or their authority figures, nor do I think its appropriate to completely depict the krogan EXCLUSIVELY as victims.

but something else dawned on me when i noticed they did a video on how the Dark Side of the Force needs to be treated more neutrally or given good points (for some reason??????) and that really stuck out to me because it felt so BIZARRE. in contrast to their constant moralizing and insistence on extremely simplisitc, puritanical notions of straightfoward moral resolutions, the Dark Side is interesting in this regard because there’s not really any way you CAN canonically regard it as neutral or having the ability to BE neutral. So why come to that conclusion?

part of it is that a LOT of people insist on viewing the Dark Side in ways like this. It’s hardly unique to a small bunch of Youtubers I’m starting to regard as, if not the starting point of the most toxic and vile elements of the puritanical part of fandom in recent times, at least excellent examples of its flawed mentality and methodology. It does stick out because these are people who often tend to express EVERYTHING in extremely simple, binary and black/white terms, and here they are insisting that the Power of Turbo-Fascism should be treated more equally. (I doubt they THINK of it as turbo-fascism, but the point still stands that the Dark Side has always been explicitly malicious and serving selfish, dominating ends, and the few times it has been fully explored, the writers at work outright SAID they took notes from fascist recruiting methods as a baseline for how the Sith would lure in potential recruits.)

Part of it, I think, is a certain contrarian element. Fair enough, I’m like that too; if you are just told a thing is pure evil without context or textual proof, its easy to just say ‘but what about if not?’. The Dark Side of the Force is very prone to people in general trying to see the positive aspects of it (despite those positive aspects already being present in the harmonious, life-affirming aspects of the Light Side, and that’s not even getting into the potential idea that there IS no real Dark Side, just selfishness and lack of self-control causing psychology and Force powers to meet in very bad and self-destructive ways). But it also does reflect a popular thing I’ve noticed in the parts of... not just fandom but broader attitudes in general, when you examine people who are resistant to self-examination or asking themselves if they are at fault, or being mindful of themselves.

Among people like that, you often see an attitude I might summarize as ‘Feeling = Good’. This is the people who tend to lean very hard towards romanticism and ideas like passion (by its own, and by itself) being a purely positive and benign, even transformative thing. Its a common social idea (even one present in the Jedi: “DON’T THINK. FEEL.”) and a tremendously romantic idea, often leading into the false assumption that if feeling is good, overthinking things is bad, or that feeling ANYTHING strongly is good, and if you’re not 1000 percent super passionate all the time or you’re NOT yelling your feelings the second you feel them, something is wrong with you.

Combine this with the double standard people like this tend to have, and the way they regard themselves as Wholesome and Pure (and thus, by their own definitions, as incapable of wanting bad things, or that their feelings might drive them to do something they don’t actually want to do), this tends to lead into a rabbit hole where the ultimate conclusion is that impulse is the same as thought and drive, and thus it is ideal to constantly be led BY those drives. Rule of impulse, you could say.

Now, consider the Dark Side which, at its core, is about the complete surrender of personal thought and will towards pure selfishness and putting your will upon the world. Canonically, this invariably results in domination, conquest and subjugation; that’s what the Dark Side IS. In contrast, the Light Side is about harmony with the greater world, in a way that resembles something of a very vague and Westernized take on Taoism.

So I think what you might be seeing here is how you get people going down a rabbit whole of moral purity that leads to Randian levels of self-perpetuating false conclusions, combined with an insistence on passions only ever being a good thing (to the extent of implicitly regarding self control, or the DESIRE to have self control, as a sign of being a bad person because a Good Person would not have those feelings) coming to a trainwreck in a legitimately funny way given that its interacting with a fandom concept that I, again, can call the Power of Turbo-Fascism because that’s what it narratively IS.

At worst, its rather revealing; at best, its a stunning lack of self awareness.

[libertyreads]

Book Review #127 of 2022--

Nine Liars by Maureen Johnson. Rating: 4.25 stars.

Read from November 9th to 11th.

Before I get into my review, I want to say a quick thank you to both the publishers over at Katherine Tegan Books and NetGalley for completely making my reading year by giving me access to this ARC in exchange for an honest review. Nine Liars is the fourth book in the Truly Devious series and follows Stevie and her friends as they travel to London for a study abroad experience. But when Stevie gets there a cold case from 1995 awaits her.  Can she juggle her boyfriend, her academic responsibilities, and an English country house mystery without dropping one of those balls? Nine Liars comes out on December 27th and is available for preorder now.

There was so much to enjoy with this one. The country house and the mystery there all felt very Dark Academia which was not the vibe I was expecting for this  novel. And it was so so good. I loved the London settings and the country side setting. I also liked the fact that the main lie this group of college friends shared for decades was something that does happen. People really do lie to the cops about this sort of thing despite the fact that it takes away from the murder. People look at something and go ‘I have to lie about this because it’s a major thing that will get me in trouble if I don’t.’ When in reality, the cops care much more about catching a murderer than they do whatever small thing you’re doing. As someone who watches and listens to a lot of true crime, this felt very realistic. Also, I enjoy the fact that the murderer isn’t some diabolic or psychotic person, it’s someone whose actions get away from them and everything snowballs. Of course, we still have our core main characters who are lovely and I enjoyed seeing them in new situations and new settings. I liked the tiny mystery about what was going on with Nate. And I liked that Nate came out to Stevie as Asexual. I felt like there was a lot of other LGBTQIA+ rep in the series so I didn’t expect it to happen. It’s pretty rare for me to read something with an Ace character in it so it felt like a little win for my sexuality.

There were moments when I felt really anxious while reading this one. Which probably is a plus for the writing side, showing that the author can make me feel for the characters and the situations. But it made me so uncomfortable for certain parts of the story. Especially the last 50 pages or so. That wasn’t helped at all by the feeling that David was acting really strange during the end of Stevie’s stay in England. I feel like it was a bit out of character for him. I know as a fandom we don’t all agree about Stevie and David’s relationship, but I think we can all agree that he was a much better boyfriend in The Box in the Woods than in the books that came before it. But the end of this one made it feel like he was reverting back to the old David behaviors. And maybe this is all supposed to lead up to another book in the series which would have more to explore with Stevie and David. I just didn’t like that aspect of the story very much. At the end of the novel we also had a lot of Stevie being frustrated by the case and unable to solve it. It felt a bit like she was banging her head on the wall trying to find a way in. I felt her frustration and her fear and her anxiety which made it uncomfortable as she struggled to solve the case. Or maybe I just have a whole anxiety disorder of my own.

Overall, this was the English Country Side case of the Truly Devious series and it was practically everything I ever wanted. I still love Stevie and all of her friends (yes, even David). And I still love following her along as she attempts to solve cold cases and to deal with her anxiety. I would follow Stevie Bell to the ends of the Earth. Great expansion of the series. Well worth the read.

[seeminglyseph]

Somehow I am getting so many more scenes with Astarion as Py than I did as Lake. I feel like I should just backtrack Lake a bit and have *him* romance Gale and have Py romance Astarion because Py is absolutely connecting with Astarion 100% better than Lake was. Though honestly Lake is connecting with Shadowheart the best and it’s completely by accident because I don’t know a lot of BG or official DnD lore, like I’ve said in the past my DnD knowledge comes from Critical Role so like. Even my knowledge of the pantheon is like. Idk, questionable at best. Making Lake a Drow Selûnite Cleric was a happy accident for twinning Shadowheart. I didn’t *plan* on Lake being like… Shadowheart’s weirdly intense best friend. But the idea that Lake and Shadowheart are best friends in that weirdly intense way that like. Makes everyone kinda uncomfortable and not really sure what’s going on especially since Lake isn’t into women and is dating someone else. Double especially since Lake is trans but like, not really transitioned because a) he’s very femme presenting and b) there isn’t a top surgery option. But also because I project certain traits into him, he has a sort of ���I’m comfortable with using aspects of my femininity, and I’m used to finding power in these aspects of myself, I’m learning how to come to terms with what that means when my identity doesn’t align with many of the things I’ve learned to draw power from” and the whole. Moon Goddess Sacred Femininity thing worked for part of that. There are aspects to being a trans masculine person who is in some way used to drawing power from femininity and how that feels like a betrayal to self once you identify that schism in your identity and how you feel that I want to explore and Lake is an interesting character to explore it through. Making him a Cleric to Selûne was part of that. Having him have what would *appear* to be a very homoerotic friendship with Shadowheart despite not having sexual attraction towards women and also having complex feelings towards Selûne that I doubt will be explored in gameplay but that’s what headcanon and fan material is for. I don’t join fandoms to be passive. I join fandoms to create my own experiences for my blorbos.

Py is developing his own existence and I’m very much going to have to double check how long half elves live. And I’m very close to throwing in the towel and romancing Astarion with him and backtracking with Lake because Astarion is going significantly better on this run.

Plus it would probably be better for me to fix some stuff in my Lake run… I think I missed a bunch of stuff it would be better to go get… especially now I’ve figured it out. So. I think that might be the new plan. Because Py has had like. 3 new scenes with Astarion and I haven’t even done the end of the act and triggered a romance yet. I mean we’re still cooking at medium while Gale is at Very High but I feel like Gale is just. Easier to get to like you if you play a Good For The Most Part character. While Astarion is harder to find the Approval triggers for. Or there are fewer of them in the first act. I’m not looking it up right now, I don’t want to look at walkthrough levels of clarity.

Part of me is a little afraid like. “Meet him where he’s at” Bitchy talk like “can I convince you to kill someone less useful” will trigger as evil and send him on the dark path rather than come across as like… “seen some shit morbid humour” to which I am accustomed. Because the conversation feels like a weird Fuck/Marry/Kill flirting session. But I’ve been Glassed before and I just want these video game people to like me. And Astarion is very stubborn.

I’m sitting outside taking a smoke break so this has gotten quite rambling and disjointed, but. I’m also just. Really enjoying something to eat up my time and attention and I’m hoping to get far enough in the game I can enjoy some of the more meaningful and spoilerful stuff. I really am enjoying digging everything I can out of the first act so I don’t miss anything important

[sunless-garden]

Hi! Hope you have a great day/night!

Just wanted to say, I'm obsessed with BTP. Your fic is so well written and amazing. I love your Elena and the way you've written Bonnie and Elijah. I'm freaked out by Klaus and I'm glad because I hate it when some writers write him as a victim who has a kind heart blah blah blah. I guess that's why I love Klena, because in KE fics Klaus always has a terrifying personality and I love it.

I have a question though, what made you ship them, and do you have any idea if you'll continue writing for them after this series is over?

Thank you so much!!! I'm so flattered that you're enjoying Beneath The Pine - you've really made my day!

I'm so glad you like my Elena! She is my favorite character on TVD, and I think she is a fascinating character - particularly because she is absolutely ruthless when it comes to protecting those that she loves. I also find it really interesting that, although she is a supernatural being, she doesn't have any supernatural abilities that she herself can exercise. It means that Elena has to be clever to survive and to protect her loved ones, and she also has a strong need for alliances (e.g., Elijah in season 2).

I find Klaus tricky to write, because I agree he should be terrifying, but I also think he's more than that. I absolutely do not think he has a naturally kind heart, but he is capable of kindness towards certain people, if he feels like he's in control and he's in the proper mood. Also, it is true that Klaus was a victim of abuse: Mikael abused him both physically and emotionally, and Esther didn't protect him from that abuse - and in fact, made it worse by intentionally weakening him and then later binding his werewolf aspect. But although that trauma influences his character, it doesn't excuse all the ways that Klaus has victimized others. Ultimately, I think Klaus's love is a very dangerous thing - look at how he treats his siblings, and Rebekah in particular.

All that said, what made me ship Elena and Klaus?

Well, I will ship Elena with just about anyone. But I find the complexity of Klena just striking. Both Elena and Klaus can love too much, which of course influences how they treat their loved ones. Compare Elena having Jeremy compelled and sending him away for his own safety, to Klaus daggering Rebekah to prevent her from leaving him. Also, I think that Elena can be her most ruthless, dark self with Klaus, and he won't turn away from her. In return, Elena has a seemingly limitless capacity for forgiveness, which Klaus unfortunately needs, given his tendency to get in his own way.

Although the fandom for Klena is small, there are some real gems: I highly recommend fics such as certain dark things by twocankeepasecret, (The Stars Were Brightly Shining) and Fairytale Ending by adlyb (@livlepretre), and Queen of the Highway by sevensistersofsussex (@sevensistersofsussex). There are tons of other great Klena fics, but those in particular really drew me in.

Regarding your second question, will I continuing writing for Klena after my The Trees Are Bare series is complete?

I think so - but we still have quite a while before my TTAB series will be complete. BTP is outlined in detail and will probably take at least another 50k words to finish. I then have the start of an outline for a sequel to BTP, which will probably end up similar in length to TTAB. I also have some ideas for a few one shots in the TTAB verse, including side stories from POVs other than Elena's. All of that will probably take me through the end of the year to complete.

Also, as I noted above, I will ship Elena will just about anyone, and I'd also like to explore some other pairings.

I might make I Ain't Letting Up Until The Day I Die into an Elejah series - one that deals with the implications and consequences of Elena's sire bond with Damon.

I would also like to transform my series of Kolena ficlets in A Million Might Have Beens into one coherent multi-chaptered fic. (Currently I think of this as my Kolena Flower Language verse.)

I also have some other fic ideas brewing, but the above are my most immediate priorities.

Thanks again for this ask!

[anupalya]

(this used to be a reblogged addition to another post, but I decided to move it to its own post because it kind of veered off from the original topic)

I love reading GNC Luke, it's awesome and I adore exploring that interpretation. I also love reading Luke who has anxiety and PTSD, Luke who is vulnerable etc. because so many people relate to different aspects of him and write him to explore that, put him in various situations and with various backgrounds and see what impact that has had on his character, etc, just like I and a bunch of other ace people immediately headcanoned Din as ace-spec. I also have enjoyed reading Luke as more timid than in OT, due to different circumstances in the story and how he was brought up and his experiences in that fic. Reading these interpretations and other characterizations can be fun separately or in combination. And as individual fics, feminine-coding can be awesome, as can technically OOC interpretations of personality -- timid/shy/blushy Luke is one example of that, but so is Sith Luke/Dark Luke.

There is also an unfortunate tendency in our broader society to go "this body type = this sex position = this personality" which is big time stereotyping of mlm in a heteronormative and very reductive way, which can also become fetishizing of mlm people and characters. And while I firmly believe that most people mean no harm, it's an easy trap to fall into, given our broader culture, and one we should be aware of. It's not just about individual fics, it's the broader pattern (just like any individual can choose to be a certain way and it's authentic to them, but when it's a blanket expectation for the entire group, that's when we've got to examine things). We can and do have fic that characterizes Luke as feminine-coded or as vulnerable and timid without it being part of the Stereotype (and I've read many fics that do this successfully, and they're awesome, no matter who took what sex position because that has NOTHING to do with ANYTHING personality or body-type related), but we also can examine why we never see Din feminine-coded (that I've ever seen) or why the "bottom Luke" tag on AO3 outstrips the "bottom Din" tag by miiiiiiles.

So 100%, "Luke can wear Padme's dresses and kick absolute ass in them and/or be feminine-coded in a fic," "Luke can be vulnerable and uncertain and even timid, depending on the characterization in that story," (which btw I do not mean as synonymous to feminine-coding) and "stereotyping/fetishizing of gay men Of A Body Type is something that is widespread in our culture and we as a fandom have the opportunity to subvert that, and should be cautious not to fall into it just for the Stereotype's sake" are all statements that can and should coexist.

And apparently things have really come to a boiling point around all of this and recent episodes (and tbh I'm also not fond of various aspects of Disney's execution of some things)

Also, I wanna see some feminine-coded Din, that would be AWESOME

At the end of the day, find and read/write the fics with the characterizations and explorations YOU want to read/write because what you like doesn't have to be everyone's cup of tea or canon-sanctioned necessarily (canon is just the headcanon of the person with the biggest budget, in my book), encourage diversity of characterization in the wide pool of DinLuke fic overall because there's SO many more possibilities to explore than the "societal default" (like I said, let's get some feminine-coded Din too! Don't reduce what's "allowed," try more things!) and considering seeking out those different characterizations to get a broader view of interpretations and experiences, and let's not bash.

[ouyangzizhensdad]

Phoenix Mountain Kiss and Consent/Boundaries in MDZS

The following opinion, expressed in the recent mdzs controversial opinion thread on twitter, is actually one I’ve meant to address for a while:

Even if most of fans loves the 'stolen kiss scene' in the Phoenix Mountain in the novel, that was a sexual harassment.

People in the fandom, especially those who were introduced first to the novel through cql, have a tendency to criticize the Phoenix Mountain kiss scene, saying it was non-consensual. My problem is not that they are wrong. The kiss is (or starts as, at the very least) non-consensual. My problem with this criticism is that people point this out as if it were a mistake. As if mxtx had meant to write a romantic kiss and had instead fumbled it all up and made it not consensual by virtue of not being woke, not being a good enough writer, or being too influenced by bl tropes. And that readers are too unsuspecting or not educated enough to realize the wrong mxtx committed. 

Here’s my hot take: The kiss is non-consensual because it was written to be non-consensual. mxtx is not trying to pull the wool over our eyes. The reason why we, as readers, can infer that, is because the non-consensual aspects of the kiss are important to the events of the plot, some of themes explored in the book, lwj and wwx’s relationship after wwx’s return, and lwj’s character arc. mxtx uses this moment and its aftermaths, amongst others, to make a point about consent and communication in relationships--one of the central themes of the novel. Shocking, I know. Arguing that consent and communication are a main theme in mdsz: now that's a controversial opinion.

Now, I won’t argue mxtx always manages to develop this theme with utmost finesse. You can critique and disagree with her treatment of the theme throughout the novel (taking into consideration, as well, how it’s not just explored through lwj and wwx’s relationship). That being said, isolating events in the novel like the Phoenix kiss scene to mark them as Good or Bad without considering the context in which they happen and are explored within the novel is just bad literary analysis :/. 

Let’s first consider this simple statement: the non-consensual aspect of the kiss is not accidental--mxtx knew it was non-consensual when she wrote it, and she wasn’t trying to hide that fact. 

By the time we reach the Phoenix Mountain competition, lwj has accepted his feelings for wwx, and that these feelings will not be returned. After all, in the xuanwu cave, wwx took great pains to ‘reassure’ him that he is super-straight-and-totally-would-never-flirt-with-him. Yet, wwx continues to ‘flirt’ with him--tossing a flower at him just before the competition--which we can gather is a source of, um, great torment for him. 

We are not privy to lwj’s thought process leading to the stolen kiss. What we know for certain, however, is how he reacts to and perceives his own actions after the fact.  Through wwx’s unreliable narration, we can still understand that lwj immediately regrets his actions and feels uncontrollable anger towards himself and his lack of self-restraint. While wwx has more complicated and contradictory feelings bout the kiss, lwj clearly sees his actions as wrong and disrespectful. He is scared of what he has been capable of doing unto another person--pushing wwx away the moment he sees him after the kiss. 

The person spun around. It was Lan Wangji after all. However, right now, his eyes were bloodshot, his expression almost frightening. Wei Wuxian was startled, “Wow, so scary.”

Lan Wangji’s voice was harsh, “Go!”

Wei Wuxian, “I just came here and you want me to go. Do you really hate me that much?”

Lan Wangji, “Stay away from me!” [chapter 69]

As readers, we are told that the Phoenix Mountain kiss, nor its implications, is not something to consider lightly. The fact that lwj’s reaction after the kiss is written in, and that it is so intense for someone usually so reserved, or the fact that we learn that more than a decade later he is still ashamed of himself and describe himself as having done something wrong (or, very wrong 很不对 ), all prove that the non-consensual aspect of the kiss is not an accident and is not downplayed as something to expect from someone in love with another person. 

蓝忘机闷声道：“我，那时，自知不对。很不对。” [chapter 111]

I can already hear some people ask: even if it was not an accident, why chose to include a non-consensual kiss between the two romantic leads? if not because it is a bl trope/weird kink, why did mxtx chose to put this in her novel? what do we gain by including dubious consent or non-consensual interactions in our fiction?

The long-short answer is: because the act of crossing boundaries is a very productive story-telling device for any piece of media focusing on any type of interpersonal relationships. Crossing boundaries--willfully or unintentionally--is a source of conflict, internal and/or relational, which can drive the plot forward, shape character development and relationships, as well as be useful for certain thematic discussions. 

Current discourses regarding consent in English-speaking, mostly-western spheres of the web tend to be very polarized, painting people who cross boundaries as bad. The solution presented (i.e. how to not be a bad person) tends to be an invitation for everyone, within any relationship, to constantly negotiate consent verbally and honestly: to constantly disclose boundaries, to constantly ask for permission, etc. While I do not dismiss the value of these suggestions, it is an ideal representative of certain socio-temporally specific cultural expectations of what communication is, how communication should happen, and how relationships should be like, etc.. Human relationships are messy, people are flawed and hurt each other, and we have complex internal lives (for instance, someone might not realize their wants or limits until they are faced with them). Instead of having media show us only a specific type of idealized relationships where boundaries are never crossed, ever, they allow us to explore the implications of boundaries within interpersonal relationships. Or, sometimes, media and fiction just aim to represent or are influenced by this very real part of human relationships, and use it as a way to create conflict within the narrative and relationships (sometimes in a interesting manner, sometimes in a very gross manner).

In mdsz, the Phoenix mountain non-consensual kiss is a two-fold source of conflict:  internal (lwj) and relational. While wwx remains unaware until he and lwj are together of the identity of the person who kissed him, the implications of the kiss ends up shaping their relationship both before and after wwx’s rebirth. 

A source of (unknown) conflict between lwj and wwx after he is summoned back from the dead is the fact that lwj believes wwx is aware of his feelings. But this conflict is further compounded by the fact that lwj has once forced his feelings unto wwx, and is utterly afraid that he would dare to ever do it again. That is why, every time wwx initiates physical contact, or flirts very deliberately with lwj, lwj never goes further than what wwx has initiated. Sometimes, he even de-escalates their proximity or level of intimacy (usually by asking wwx to “ 别乱动”  or, famously during Drunk#2, by literally knocking himself out) --out of fear that he, again, would lack self-control and do something wrong to the man he loved.  He never presumes he has the permission to push their relationship further than what wwx is offering. Without that added source of conflict, would it have been reasonable to expect lwj and wwx to have realized their mutual feelings earlier, even with the issue of lwj not being aware wwx does not know of his feelings?

“In the beginning, the reason for behaving in such a manner was to let Lan Wangji be disgusted with him and kick him out of the Cloud Recesses, and they would never have to meet again, going their separate ways. Lan Wangji couldn’t possibly tell what his real intentions were. Yet, [..] even when faced with Wei Wuxian’s various actions, tricks, and pranks, Lan Wangji never once lost his temper, reciprocating with restraint and courtesy.” [chapter 99]

That is all true, of course, until Drunk 3. Here again, the ghost of the stolen kiss plays a part in accentuating the conflict. Without it, would lwj have jumped to conclusions as quickly? And, plot-wise, the shared perception of wwx and lwj that they have taken advantage of the other is a source of conflict that does multiple things--it gives wwx an incentive to go look at the temple at night to distract himself from his guilt and sadness, instead of going the next day with lwj (at which point jgy would have had perhaps already left) and it keeps wwx in the dark about lwj’s feelings until lxc reveals to him the events of the past he has forgotten. Here again, issues of consent are clearly taken into consideration as a source of conflict, shaping both characters’ motivations and the events of the plot.

Finally, the theme of consent/boundaries is an important aspect of lwj’s internal struggle, particularly in relation to his father’s choices. The kiss is part of his journey. 

It is not coincidental that the Lan motto is “Be Honorable”/”Self-restraint,” and that lwj is presented as the model Lan disciple. This element is part of the context that gives narrative and thematic meaning to the non-consensual kiss. When lwj forces a kiss on a blindfolded wwx, lwj goes against the values he holds dear and the teachings that were imparted unto him--prime internal conflict. 

But what is also interesting, to me in any case, is how consent is the thing that ultimately differentiates lwj’s choices from his father’s. 

How willing was Lan-furen to be saved by Qingheng-jun? to be taken to live in seclusion in the Cloud Recesses? to be married to him? to have children with him? The novel never tells us clearly. However, the novel gives us an idea of how lqr, lxc and lwj perceive their parents’ relationship. For lwj, we are given an insight into his perception indirectly during the following conversation between him and lxc.

[Lan Xichen] spoke, “Wangji, is there something on your mind? Why have you been so tense?”

Of course, in most people’s eyes, the ‘tenseness’ probably looked no different than Lan Wangji’s other expressions.

Lan Wangji’s brows sunk low as he shook his head. A few moments later, he replied in a low voice, “Brother, I want to take someone back to the Cloud Recesses.”

Lan Xichen was surprised. “Take someone back to the Cloud Recesses?”

Lan Wangji nodded, his expression pensive. After a pause, he continued, “Take them back… and hide them somewhere.”

Lan Xichen’s eyes immediately widened.

[…]

“Hide them somewhere?”

Lan Wangji frowned softly. “But they are not willing.” [chapter 72]

Indirectly, we come to understand that lwj draws parallels with his father situation: they both want to protect someone by taking them to the Cloud Recesses, but these persons are unwilling. The unsaid question here is, would I choose to do as our father did? 

The non-consensual kiss is part of lwj’s journey, through which he comes to understand that, despite his strict upbringing and disciplined lifestyle that was supposed to keep him from becoming like his father, he is capable of being his father (or at least who he thinks his father is). He learns that he can understand what sort of passionate feelings could bring someone to do something that goes against not only the wishes of his clan members, but the very wishes of the person they love, for the sake of keeping them safe or for the sake of having them by their sides. And at the end of that internal journey, lwj chooses not be like his father--to put wwx’s decisions and wants and needs first. After buyetian, lwj offers his protection and confesses his feelings--and wwx rejects him. lwj respects wwx’s choice, while still going against his clan to protect him. He brings wwx back to Mass Grave Hill knowing full well that wwx would not survive long the wrath of the four great sects seeking revenge against him, and goes home to receive his punishment.

Overall, what I tried to say in many many words, is that the Phoenix Mountain kiss is not non-consensual by accident. It is not because mxtx is an awful person or is not educated enough, or because she thinks dubious consent is romantic. The fact that it is non-consensual is addressed within the narrative, fuels internal and external conflicts, and is as well woven into the plot structure and the themes of the novel. The kiss is not an outlier element, added to titillate a readership--it exists as an integral part of the novel.

I’m not saying it’s not okay to decide that you do not want to engage with any content that includes non-consensual interactions or dubious consent because that triggers or irks you regardless of the way it is handled. It is totally valid to not personally enjoy or have criticisms about choices mxtx made in exploring these themes, in presenting the internal and relational conflicts around consent/boundaries, or even in the way she decided to write the scenes that figure dubious consent. However, it is not really helpful to divorce an event from its context within a piece of media in order to brand it as either Problematic or Unproblematic, Good or Bad.

Note: Much more could be said about the theme of consent/boundaries in mdzs; this is not exhaustive in the least. 

Note2: Much more could be said, in relation to the question and theme of consent, about: the cultural limitations of Westerners to engage fully with a text written for a chinese audience; the limits of fan translators to fully understand  the nuances and themes of a novel and to communicate them in a different language; about the place dubious consent and non-consensual interactions has had in the romance/erotica genre for a long time, and no, not only because Misogyny or Homophobia.