#this can be a very dark fandom if you explore certain aspects of it

[silverloreley]

I was thinking about how, on the Isle, instead of death, there's the Sleep. Something that should have killed them instead sends them into a coma until they're recovered enough to wake.

But you also said that for every Sleep they suffer, it takes something away from them, as though a part of them did die after all. It makes them weaker - physically, mentally. Every time it happens, they wake up a little bit less than they were before.

Suppose you have parents that do care about their kids, because not every parent on the Isle can be horrible. Some parents do care for their children and want what's best for them, insofar as they can have that on the Isle.

But then they fall into the Sleep. Maybe they got sick. Maybe there was a fight or battle. Whatever the reason, many parents, good and bad, would have died several times over the course of their children's childhood if not for the Sleep.

And they wake up, time and again, and are weaker, each time. Maybe it's mentally; they can't focus long enough to do much. Maybe it's physically; they're ill, and can't care for their children.

And so you have children on the Isle whose parents do care for them but, thanks to the Sleep, cannot actually do anything concrete about that. So you have an entire generation of children being neglected and left almost entirely to their own devices.

Yes, that's pretty much correct, and that's why I think my interpretation is more cruel than letting them actually die, there's stuff of nightmares behind the apparently light and silly Descendants (which I find very compelling, tbh).

The idea of decent parents struggling with terrible living conditions and their kids suffering for it is what makes the punishment most cruel, the "good" idea was to teach the villains to care by using their own children so they'd choose to make themselves a good life for their sake, but it just, sort of backfires when the living conditions are pitiful and the only way to grant kids a semi-decent life is either become minions or get worse criminals. It's more or less the reason why prisons don't actually lower criminality rates: if you give people no better choice, they'll fall back into bad roads, or even worse than before.

About the permanent damages, I meant to tackle the issue when talking about Jay's mother, in his case, Jafar took the chance to have complete control over Jay and it's not the only one.

Oh, good parents! In one of my fics I'll have a mention of Claudine's mother stabbing Frollo's comatose body every week or so to keep him under. Will, Anastasia Tremaine's husband, in my verse went under the Sleep two or three times and the last is when Anthony decides to take things into his hands and becomes the protector of the family in his stead. Facilier, on the other hand, manages to avoid death so swiftly that he's basically the same as he was before the Isle. Zarina depleted her magic and that's why Harriet had to raise her siblings... And so on.

There are many instances worthy of being explored, the idea of a not-death but with consequences, short or long-term as it can be, has many ramifications, many more than just death can have imho.

[galedekarios]

i'm reading a new interview tim downie gave about gale and it offers some of tim's own headcanons about gale, as well as tim's thoughts and insights on gale's character:

Nerds & Beyond: I like that you mentioned that the game is full of rounded characters because they are, they all have different aspects that make them feel real. I adore that Gale specifically is so serious and studious, but at the same time he has this really playful side — he often jokes about how he was a mischievous youth, he encourages other people like Arabella to do so, he understands when The Dark Urge first mentions their violent thoughts. There is a lot of nuance and depth there. But the quality that I love with Gale most is that obviously he is very ill when we first meet him – not that we know immediately – and he’s dealing with a lot of chronic pain. I find him incredibly selfless because he takes that day-to-day head on to help the party, which is an aspect I feel continues to show throughout the three acts. What’s your favorite quality of Gale’s, or what did you take away from him? Tim Downie: It’s so interesting hearing you say that, because I had so many different feedbacks about what people take from the character and sometimes things really surprise you. It’s interesting hearing that such and such has taken that particular aspect, because there are broad things like “He’s funny,” and that’s quite nice, that’s a nice trait, though not one you necessarily get to see that much. It’s so interesting hearing other people’s views about what they take from Gale.  The idea of dealing with chronic pain I found really interesting and an interesting subplot to play, and that was the great thing about doing something like this is that it is so unbelievably nuanced. You have so many layers that just keep going and going and going, as much as we all contain multitudes within ourselves. We all deal with these things, but only certain things pop up to the surface at any given point.  What did I take from Gale, though? I liked his studiousness. I would imagine that he was probably bullied as a kid for it, and he was probably a bit of a joker because he was bullied, and he uses that as a defense. But an even bigger defense for him is “I now know stuff that I didn’t before,” and that’s a power. It’s very similar to when you are being bullied and you’re the funny one – that’s your power, that’s your thing. “I may not be able to hurt you in a traditional sense, but I can say things that will make you feel pain,” which is a very different thing because you physically can’t go after them.  That’s the wonderful thing about acting and this character as well is being able to explore all these things that you might not have, that you might have gone, “I’m not gonna look at that again, I don’t want to deal with that,” and then it brings it up again and it’s like, “Oh, this is actually quite cathartic,” to re-explore these these moments of sorrow and loss and how you deal with grief and things like that and heartbreak and how you get over that.  It’s not all just tears, you do try and make a joke of it.

i really like that they are addressing the topic of gale's chronic pain. it's something that doesn't get addressed often, not even in the game itself.

i also found his answer as to why people might connect to gale very nice:

Nerds & Beyond: Gale is the most popular origin character to play as. What is it about him that you think allows so many different players to connect with him to the depths the fandom has? Tim Downie: I really don’t know. I think you’d have to ask the players that, ‘cause I don’t know, to be quite honest with you. He’s a wizard, and who wouldn’t want to be a wizard at the end of the day? I always say the difference between wizards and sorcerers is that sorcerers just pretend – they just assume they know what they’re doing, but a wizard has really learned this trade. And so there’s that kind of weight of knowledge and learning, which I would love to play as and be for a length of time.  I think it’s also the frailties. I like characters, and a lot of people do I’m assuming, that have flaws, otherwise you’ve made them completely unapproachable. To be completely superhuman or completely extraordinary at something then removes the humanity from it because it becomes like, “Well, that’s never gonna happen.” But when there’s a flaw, when there’s, “Oh, I’ve got that wrong, too,” or like, “My knees hurt” as you say, or “I’ve got a bit of a headache. I really don’t want to do this,” “You’re really annoying me, this is very annoying, could you please hurry up?” or “Stop licking the damn thing,” it’s always those moments that are fun because it shows what we’re all thinking at that point, it removes it from almost archetype and stereotype and it becomes human in a way.

gale is approachable and likeable, has flaws, but is genuinely nice. i think that very much sums up his character.

this bit here made me laugh:

Nerds & Beyond: When you’re talking about those different layers in the humanity building, I think one of the most important aspects in this game is the more “background” or passive dialogue, so dialogue that is prompted in the world and not in the cut scenes.  For instance — the first time I made Gale sneak he immediately complained about his knees, and it was such a real moment where he was just like, “Oh, don’t make me do this. This is not what I’m here for, I’ve got bad knees and I’m not made for this.” Did you have any of those background lines or moments that stick out as being particularly fun to craft?  Tim Downie: I remember the first time I ever had to do waiting, I found it infinitely interesting in so many ways. The idea that I did actually just have to wait and just actually, “Hmm…” Those little things I find really funny because they’re probably the closest to me that the character ever gets. His waiting mannerisms are kind of very English – slightly annoyed and I’m not going to show it to you though because we’re all being very nice, but I’ll do it with a huff and a slightly sarcastic, “Well, that’s great. Another 20 minutes. That’s great.” Those kinds of sentiments I found wonderful and incredibly fun, and funny, to do. 

if you want to read the whole interview for yourself, you can do so here!

[yusiyomogi]

honestly I'm sort of surprised that people (that I've seen anyways) tend toward "Oh I didn't like dunmeshi's second half as much as the first half" cause like I read 1-40 over the course of a week or so but as soon as I hit chapter 45ish I locked the hell in and finished in a single day. Genuinely the second half so much more fun.... ofc I also tend more towards incredibly plot-heavy stuff so that might be a factor but like it's weird to me

yes, for sure, i loved the second half so much more than the first half! i love worldbuilding and plot-heavy stuff, so it was more interesting to me too. i also like complex characterization, which ofc was present in the first half of the story, but truly shined in second half, especially with characters like kabru, mithrun, laios and marcille. as fun as "monster of the week" can be, there are certain limits in what aspects of the story you can explore. and dunmeshi wants to explore these aspects and it does a great job!

i feel like a lot of people who find themselves disappointed by the second half, simply had incorrect expectations. many people enjoy this kind of simpler storytelling and there's no denying that dunmeshi is super funny as well, but the first, like, 1/4 of the manga can give very wrong impression of what this story will eventually develop into. and fandom doesn't help! like, when anime started people basically treated it as ultimate dnd show, silly rpg-inspired fantasy with all the familiar monsters and funny characters bound by their class and race. the impression was so strong, that i only became interested in dunmeshi when people started posting their reactions to falin resurrection. i thought, oh, maybe this story is actually something bigger than i expected.

and it's another problem too, because some people constructed the opposite idea: that dunmeshi develops into something "dark and gritty" down the line. and ofc it has very dark elements in it, but it never fully commits to that sort of tonal shift or subversion, it's just a natural development of the story which stays mostly light-hearted. and this is something people also dislike and find disappointing in the end.

[annamariehamilton-unofficial]

Random Ghoulposting: A Gay Ghoul?!? Followup, part I

So, my little "No gay ghouls? hold my coffee" joke post seems to have gone a bit viral, which I was not at all expecting; anyway, I just wanted to post a little followup with some of my personal thoughts and theories apropos of Tokyo Ghoul and the lgbt community. I wouldn't consider myself to be queer, but I do know a bunch of people in that community, so, idk, hopefully this is insightful.

Obviously you are welcome to disagree with me, this is just my specific interpretation.

The Fandom

As I've deep-dove into the TG fandom in the last few months, I've discovered this really interesting paradox in that Sui Ishida, the author, has a really unfortunate tendency to rely on negative stereotypes and tropes for his characterization of queer characters. And yet, at the same time, TG seems to deeply resonate with (some) members of the lgbtq community because its themes of being an outsider in greater society and the importance of learning to accept those who are different from you. Like I don't think I've ever seen a work be both so riddled with homophobic/transphobic stereotypes and also so beloved by people in the queer community (at least so far as I can tell on Tumblr, which is, admittedly, a microcosm).

A couple of reasons for this, I think. For one, I've noticed a lot of queer people really resonate with horror and fantasy. And not just queer people -- people of any minority/marginalized identity, really. But it is a pretty pronounced trend among queer folks as far as I've seen. Fantasy and horror are this really great venue for exploring feelings of alienation and "otherness" in ways that can honestly feel more authentic expressed with "unreal" elements than in a more strictly realist fashion. Like instead of it being like, "ok, here's this gay/black/disabled/autistic/whatever character, you're supposed to relate to them because you share an identity," it's more like, all right, this character is a werewolf/vampire/ghoul/whatever, and this story shows viscerally how it FEELS to be "other," and THAT is what makes it relatable.

So, even though TG does have some homophobic aspects to it, the premise, of a group of people who are marginalized by society for something that isn't even their choice, but who are still shown to be complex *people* just as much as the human characters, would really resonate with anyone from any marginalized background, queer people included.

(I mean, I'm an Autistic somewhat-acespec Christian girl with anxiety and a certain amount of religious trauma who has a special interest in dark fantasy and classic literature, and TG hits me RIGHT in the identity-specific feels, so I can see how it would for others too).

The other thing is that, even though Ishida relies pretty heavily on problematic queer villainy tropes, I think he does just good enough of a job of giving all of his characters some shred of humanity or relatability, that ... well, I won't say that it's *okay*, because it's still not, but I think readers like myself are a bit more willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Like yes, Nico is kind of a walking toxic gay stereotype. But let's also not forget that he stood up to an *extremely* physically and emotionally abusive partner to try to protect Kaneki and two other innocent victims, just because he thought it was the right thing to do. Tsukiyama also falls into the predatory gay man stereotype, at least at first, but he was just so enjoyable and fun (and, despite all his weird cannibal obsessiveness, he did seem to genuinely *like* Kaneki as a person) that he became a fan-favorite even when he was still the stereotypical queer villain of the week. Ishida also gave him something of a series-long redemption arc, turning him into a complex and lovable character who is, still, a fan favorite. Uta is a legitimately cool and nice guy, even if he does do some *very* morally questionable things with the Clown Masks later on. Even Jason is a monster plain and simple, but he became that way because he himself was abused, and his reminisces about his mother remind us that even the worst people still have someone they love.

I haven't read all the way through :re yet, and the negative queer tropes apparently get even worse there ... Mutsuki's descent into mental illness and jealous rage plays into a number of uncomfortable transphobic and misogynistic tropes, but I guess it sort of makes sense in the context of their past and struggles with mental illness, and the themes of the story with the relationship between trauma and moral decay. And prior to that really unfortunate arc, Mutsuki was genuinely a super cool character. Matsuri Washuu's profession of love to Urie was ... real weird, and the way he did it was gratuitous ... but you do kind of feel bad for the guy for being basically forced into marrying a woman he isn't attracted to for the family honor.

Then, of course, you have all the characters who aren't canonically queer, but are so relatable in more positive ways for queer folks that many fans headcanon them to be queer. Hide's unconditional love and devotion for Kaneki comes to mind. Or Hsiao and Saiko coming across as being queer but in a good/cool way. Or Juuzo's ambiguous gender expression, and Juuzo being completely unhinged but also one of the most well-loved characters in the series.

So I guess what I'm saying is ... yeah, the portrayal of queer characters in TG is problematic, and I don't mean to be defending it, exactly, but I guess what I'm saying is that even when the author is being awful with the tropes, he's still somehow able to write characters who feel human enough to occasionally transcend those tropey boxes he pushes them into.

I will also note that most of the queer or queer-ish characters are still alive in the final chapter. So, of all of the terrible tropes TG engages in with its queer characters, at least "bury your gays" isn't one of them.

IDK just my thoughts. I'll be posting another follow-up with some of my in-universe headcanons later on, I think.

[target-core]

since you made that post, I’d love to share some of my own personal experience enjoying billford fluff, as survivor of an abusive relationship (though this is absolutely not me speaking for every survivor btw) if you don’t mind!! just because I think it’s an interesting perspective to bring to the table and I don’t want to repeat what the other asks have already said (and you seem curious and I love sharing thoughts about this)

tbob means absolutely everything to me but, in my head, it's already more or less reached the pinnacle of showing the darkest parts of their relationship and, to me, nothing else can fully compete with that. plus, when I'm in fandom spaces, I often use it to unwind and relax, and I just do not have the time or energy to use that space to engage with fictional versions of traumatic events that I have already been through, in excruciating detail. not only because I'm in a headspace where I just can't handle being triggered atm (unlike reading tbob, where I know what to expect and have coping skills already prepared) but also, personally, the concept can seem boring to me sometimes. I've already lived through this and spent years processing the meaning of it. I don't need to see fictional characters I love do the exact same thing repeatedly. especially since my own experience with my own suffering tends to be very mundane and tedious, and that’s part of why it’s miserable (no one ever talks about how boring pain is god .. but that’s a topic for a different conversation that has barely anything to do with this).

but obviously, I still want to engage with fandom spaces, even if I tend to avoid certain aspects of it (not even necessarily by default, it's just a pattern I've noticed with myself). so what can I engage with instead??? well I love these character dearly, devoid of whatever awful things they may or may not have done (looking at you especially bill, you motherfucker). I love their weird and nerdy personalities, I love their relatable backstories, I love how you can explore other themes through them (such as neurodivergency and trauma as a mental condition, rather than as an experience), and I love also how they can actually be really romantic, in a twisted weird way. I mean, merging bodies and minds, calling someone your “muse,” or even just the idea of a demon falling in love with a scientist who’s studying him just feels objectively romantic to me, in a strange and eerie way. not to mention (as I think someone else has said), not all abusive relationships are 100% bad all the time. in fact, that can be why they are so difficult to leave, because when you love someone you want to cling to the good. and I don’t think the good should ever be dismissed or invalidated, no matter how awful the bad is or how much it outweighs the good. plus also, if we’re going back to comparing billford to my own abusive relationship, those two really aren’t a perfect 1:1 comparison. not only because they’re fictional characters living in a world with magic and we aren’t, but also because they’re more like amalgamations of ideas than they are real people. and I love exploring those ideas on their own merits, regardless of the abuse.

so now that I think about it, I don’t even know if “fluff” is an adequate enough descriptor of what I like .. or if it is fluff, it still has some level of darkness or weirdness to it too, even if it’s small. I guess it’s more like I just enjoy the lighter, more whimsical aspects of billford that have more nuance to it .. but also billford is just so inherently incredibly dark that this feels fluffy by comparison. but also that’s literally just my own limited perspective (and I’m not even always consistent with it .. like I said this is just a pattern I’ve noticed with myself). I definitely don’t think it’s the only way to enjoy the ship and I absolutely 10000% get why other people might not feel the same and would want to explore the darker, more abusive aspects to them (technically I also do, just not via fandom). I’m never going to begrudge anyone who wants that and I hope this isn’t interpreted as a dunk on people who do <3333 I just love these stupid characters and their relationship so much and I think talking about this sort of thing is really really fun and interesting

anyways I’ve written probably way too much (and if I don’t stop now then I never will) so if you’ve gotten this far then thank you!! hope you have a wonderful day or night or whatever time it is where you are

Thank you so much for your ask !! :) please don’t apologize for them being too long, I really don’t mind

I have been in abusive relationship(s… lol🥲) myself, and I think with Billford I kind of do the opposite of escapism where I latch onto the darker parts and keep thinking about how it connects to my life over and over and over.. I’m gonna be real, I think the way I engage with them is actually kind of unhealthy LOL but it does make for interesting art and analysis in my head, so I guess it isn’t all that bad..?

I don’t mean to imply their relationship is all darkness. I think there’s levity to be found too… and as you said, abusive relationships aren’t bad all the time. There is genuinely cute stuff that happens between them, even though I tend to view those moments more cynically. I think for those nicer parts, I can’t enjoy them as much *because* I view them so cynically, because I project onto them. It feels too real for me to think of those moments as genuine because it opens up the possibility of a world where things could’ve been better. It’s hard for me to explain, I apologize if I don’t make any sense.

I really really do not want my original post to be viewed as a dunk either. Different interpretations are the spice of life!!! It’s all awesome. I enjoy seeing them in anything. I was more just genuinely curious on why the common interpretation is lighter than what’s presented. I feel like that might’ve not come across as well as I intended, and I’m sorry about that.

Thank you again for your ask!

[respawned-dove]

darkfic and nsfw content will be featured, therefore minors are not allowed to interact and will be blocked if seen.

Archie / they/them / 22 years old

This is a writing blog centered around the Team Fortress 2 characters! I will take x Reader requests as well as character x character content (up to three characters for this type). I really love the BLU team please ask about them and request them! I do both headcanon lists and short fics.

Content I will do

sexual and wholesome fics alike, yandere, noncon, violence (torture, whump, murder, general gravel wars horrors), abusive dynamics, honestly most things, feel free to ask to be certain and keep in mind I have the right to deny anything I wish to. Please mind the tags and don't eat the dove if you don't want it.

About the Author

This blog is run by a system and multiple alters will write here. Archie is a collective nickname you can use for everyone for the simplicity! We are very passionate about writing and about exploring the darkest aspects of humanity through fiction. TF2 is a fairly new fandom to us, but there is so much untapped potential for dark content with these characters that I hope to dig into like an untouched goldmine. We've got some illnesses that affect energy levels, so there may be occasional necessary hiatuses. Otherwise we will be here having fun and doing what we love!

[knightfeared]

` ＊ 𝑹𝑼𝑳𝑬𝑺 ᨒ↟𐂂                                              Last Updated : SEPT 18 . 2024

` IMPORTANT INFO ( … ) My portrayals will be canon divergent in some aspects. My portrayals are always going to be a mixed interpretation of both game, movie / comic media. A large majority of how they develop will also be based off of the threads I’ve done since picking them up as muses. Please be mindful that in some aspects my takes on certain characters will differ from canon.

↳ This is an Independent Multi-Fandom Multi-Muse writing blog. 18+ is the age for following &&. for normal interactions, but anything delving into darker / more mature territory will only be done with others that are   21+ . I WILL NOT interact with Minors.

↳ ABOUT THE WRITER Bastian / MST / THEY | THEM / 25+

↳ FOLLOWING FIRST I don’t usually follow first. Mostly for personal reasons, unless you’re a mutual I know from elsewhere, I aim to keep my space small &&. curated this time around. However, I will always check over blogs that follow &&. look over rules &&. verse info to see if we can write together. I am slow but usually I’ll get back to following people within a few days.

↳ I am a slow writer &&. I am generally very slow &&. quiet when reaching out in DMs/private. I have limited spoons. For the time being I will be placing this blog on low activity because of irl factors along with fluctuating muses — spoon levels are not guaranteed to always be high. Please respect that I am a slow writer &&. a slow mun when it comes to talking or reaching out. I do prefer to get out replies I am proud of over rushing things, so quality over quantity is generally how I function. I value my writing partners greatly I just am not good with OOC talking as it makes me very anxious at times. Please do not guilt me for being around or consistently active. Doing so will result in completely cut contact if the behaviour displayed starts to affect my mental health too much.

↳ If you are to unfollow or soft block me in the future to break mutuals, I would very much prefer to be hard blocked as it prevents me from reaching out again in the future. I support curating one’s space! I would just like to avoid the awkwardness if I mistake an unfollowing for a Tumblr glitch!

↳ There will be no character bashing here. I want to make this clear in saying I will not tolerate anons asks or dm messages meant to bash on another character. Even if it isn’t meant to be intentionally rude.

↳ THEFT Theft of any sort ( graphics, personalized headcanons, etc. ) are not tolerated here. There is a very clear difference between being heavily inspired or blatantly copying another’s creations. As this is a topic I am sensitive to due to past events, I am very strict with this. If I see it, I will not hesitate to cut contact.

↳ GENERAL DISCLAIMER A majority of the characters I write, along with the series they come from are Horror related &&. as such, they may deal heavily with themes of murder / crime, do a brief but heavy exploration into depression, ptsd / trauma &&. it’s after effects. Themes of self-destruction through violence, death, existentialism, slight delving into fractured mental health issues, along with the occasional graphic depictions of violence &&. injuries. A lot of my muses do not come from happy stories — it will get dark sometimes though I will do my best to keep things as light as I can manage. If you’re uncomfortable with anything mentioned above, I highly advise you not to follow or interact with me. Anything written here is purely fictional. I am not my Muse.

` ＊ 𝑮𝑬𝑵𝑬𝑹𝑨𝑳 ᨒ↟ 𖠰

↳ MAINS [ ; ] GENERAL STANCE I do practice Mains  —  but I rarely practice Exclusives. A Main is someone whose lore is greatly tied with &&. often heavily influences my own, therefore, they will have their interactions prioritized first. Anyone that’s been a mutual for a long enough, has written with me or talked a fair amount out of character can ASK to be my Main  &&.   are more then welcome to tie-in or take from my lore for their own muse if we have Verses developed.

↳ WORLDBUILDING I will always try to adhere to another’s world-building in the event it’s preferred over following my own. I do feel there should be some talk beforehand &&. some compromises in case certain portrayal specific lore conflicts, but I will almost always try to nudge my muses into my writing partners verses for their comfort / ease of interaction.

↳ DRAMA I don’t participate in drama. I avoid involving myself unless it’s genuinely serious — such as a writer displaying behaviours that are worryingly dangerous ( obsessive / stalking or harassing others, homophobia / transphobia / racism / pedophilia ). In those cases, if the situation calls for it, I will make an informed decision privately regarding interactions.

↳ SOFT-BLOCKING I usually go on a softblocking spree once a month to clear out archived / inactive blogs &&. blogs I can’t see myself interacting with in the future. It’s nothing personal &&. if there is interest in interacting again in the future, I fully support re-following! It’s normally just to keep my dash uncluttered because I get overwhelmed easily.

↳ HARD-BLOCKING I usually only hardblock when I want to completely cut ties with someone.  If there ever is any sort of issue between me   &&.   another writer,  if it’s a situation where I feel comfortable enough   —   I will try to explain beforehand why I am cutting contact before hardblocking.  I fully support curating one’s own space,  so I support needing to break Mutuals in any way to ensure your blog space is also a safe place.

↳ REGARDING MULTIMUSE’S / OCS I am Multimuse &&. OC friendly! Though for Original Characters, while I am open to interactions, I am selective  — I am always open though, just a reminder to have an about page / post / Google doc available to look over as it helps me tremendously in learning about your muse.

↳ GODMODDING I don’t mind my muse being manhandled / injured / wounded, but please allow me to write my muse’s reactions in turn. If I ever do plan to take a thread in a more violent direction, I will message you beforehand to make sure it’s alright   —  I expect this in return. If I ever do something in a thread you don’t like, please message me   &&.   I’ll edit my post.

↳ ARCHIVING THREADS I will often reblog ask replies from partners to archive / save them. There won’t be a guarantee that I’ll always reply  —  I’m only selective so I don’t overwhelm myself  —   but if you’d ever like to turn a response of my own or yours into a thread, don’t hesitate to let me know.

↳ BEST WAY TO INTERACT Askmemes! They help me get a good feel of our muses, on whether their dynamic works or they mesh well. Plotting generally happens once there’s more of a solid dynamic built to build off of.

` ＊ 𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑷𝑷𝑰𝑵𝑮 [ ; ] 𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑰𝑪 &&. 𝑷𝑳𝑨𝑻𝑶𝑵𝑰𝑪 ᨒ↟ 𖠰

↳ REGARDING ROMANTIC SHIPPING DYNAMICS My blog is multi-ship, though for this, I will be setting a loose limit for the number of romantic ships held with the same muse to 2. There will be some exceptions from time to time, but for now that’s the number I feel comfortable keeping things at regarding writers of the same muse.

As stated before, I rarely practice Exclusives. Therefore please note that each writer I do ship with will have their own unspoken verse ( unless I’ve made one for us specifically ) &&. unless stated elsewhere, my muses will always be faithful to whomever they’re in a relationship with. I have zero tolerance for possessiveness / jealousy shown ooc regarding ships. It is a huge trigger of mine so please be mindful or you will be hard blocked if any potentially controlling behaviour is displayed.

↳ REGARDING PLATONIC / FAMILIAL / ANTAGONISTIC DYNAMICS I love exploring all sorts of dynamic possibilities  —   they just need to be within comfort for me   &&.   we do need to communicate OOC at some point to Plot out where things will go eventually for threads. But I am always open to discuss a dynamics potential.

All I ask is to bluntly communicate with me when it comes to anything relating to dynamics. Please tell me directly what kind of relationship is wanted — only hinting / vagueing / expecting me to catch on that you want to flesh out a dynamic without telling me will fly right over my head otherwise, &&. I won’t immediately assume there’s interest, so I greatly encourage talking to me very bluntly about possible directions you’d like to take our muses in. Platonic, familial, antagonistic, romantic — I adore them all &&. welcome them.

` ＊ 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑺𝑨𝑭𝑬 𝑭𝑶𝑹 𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑲 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑻 ᨒ↟ 𖠰

↳ N/SFW There will be mature, N/SFW content explored on this blog. Me &&. my muses are all well over the age of 21, therefore anything falling into N/SFW territory will always be tagged accordingly with the usual “nsfw tw” / “not sfw tw” / “nsft tw” tags. If you do not wish to see such content then please blacklist / block the following tag(s) in particular:

╰┈➤  ┊❛ SUGGESTIVE. ❜┊ ╰┈➤  ┊❛ VEILED IN THE DARK.  /  NOT SFW. ❜┊

` ＊ 𝑴𝑰𝑺𝑪𝑬𝑳𝑳𝑨𝑵𝑬𝑶𝑼𝑺 ᨒ↟ 𖠰

↳ REPLY LENGTH While I do have a preference for lengthier  &&.   more detailed responses   — it’s not a requirement &&.   I never go into an interaction expecting it. So long as you’re giving effort to reply   &&.  actively showing interest in our threads, I don’t mind shorter ones. Please never feel obligated or pressured to match my length — I’m here to build a story with you, not to judge you on how much you can write.

↳ TAGGED TRIGGERS / ACCOMODATIONS If you are a mutual of mine who needs anything specifically tagged, please let me know through DMs so I am made aware what to tag in the future. If you have certain vision / text requirements please let me know in through my interest tracker so I can make a note of it for future interactions.

↳ REPLY SPEED Please take your time with replies. I do not mind waiting for replies at all   &&.   I understand that life comes up   &&.   not everyone can sit to write everyday &&. have muse. I’ll never take it personally or try to pressure you. Please do things at your own pace   &&.   know there’s never a time limit or deadline on when to reply to our threads. I am also a snail when it comes to them so I completely understand. If ever there is a time you’d like to change our muses dynamic or restart interactions, I am open to it so long as we communicate.

[narhinafan]

Honestly SP seems to make me hate ships that I normally would not hate because they're in the realm of fanfiction and fan art and I think that's harmless. Not taking the toxic fandoms into account it was SP that made me hate NaruSaku and Ichiruki.

I'll make this brief. Why do I now hate Ichiruki? I didn't always hate it. I was actually more of a fan of Ichiruki than Ichihime until I reread the bleach Manga last year and then watch the anime as well and I grew annoyed every time there was an Ichiruki moment. Not only does it break the pacing of scenes it makes characters acting out of character Ichigo and rukia especially. I don't mind non-canon crack ships as long as it's kept in the realm of fan art and fanfiction and not inserting it into what is supposed to be Canon moments in the story and at the expense of other characters.

What could have been an amazing movie where we explored a mirror universe instead we had NaruSaku the movie where Naruto and Sakura are acting both out of character and it kind of feels like there were two movies in one and the version that Kishimoto wrote was mostly cut from the cutting room floor.

There was a huge opportunity to explore a different aspect of Hinata and Sasuke's characters. Instead we got some stupid ship movie with NaruSaku. I mean there was so much potential with road to ninja Hinata and Sasuke and it was wasted. I mean the exact opposite of who these characters are in personality. I mean there's so much you could have explored. The best scenes of that movie arguably were like 5% of the film if even that and when you compare it to the likes of One piece strong world which came out a few years before actually respected The source material and the author you could tell the difference is night and day hell Naruto the last felt like a genuine story by Kishimoto and you can tell the difference between that film and road to ninja.

I argue that the tie into the movie was better than the movie itself because it actually explored Ino and explored the road to ninja version of Sakura who arguably was more likable than her canon counterpart. It's rare that you get to explore near universe versions of characters concepts are usually explored in science fiction and the very fact that SP wasted a cool concept was tossed aside for a freaking ship that had no chance in hell ever being Canon will never not piss me off.

SP makes it seem like every anime they seem to do a series of it makes it seem like that series is concerned with shipping and I don't think shipping is bad but it should never come at the expense of a Canon story written by the author. The author and only the author in my eyes in an official product should be able to dictate what ships happen and what ships don't for better or for worse we're not the people that choose who ends up with who the author does. This shipping bullshit kills the integrity in my opinion of these stories that we all enjoy because it seems like certain people are more concerned with the shipping aspect then the actual story

Honestly I was never a fan of Sakura, but it was more her fandom that made me hate her, SP's bias was just the icing on the cake that gave me more reason to dislike it.

I am more of an IchiRuki fan I watched the anime long before the manga hence all the scenes made me a fan though I have nothing against IchiHime and after reading the manga it was obvious why they happened and that SP was really bias towards IchiRuki through out the anime. Its no surprise the author had complaints and refused to let them do another season without his supervision.

Yes RTN was ruined by NaruSaku honestly considering it was set after Pain's confession and none canon it could have tied into Hinata's feelings for Naruto/Menma while exploring a different take. I really want to know why Menma ended up dark side considering he had a family and Hinata clearly loved him. It could have been a sweet story where Hinata toughened up to help Menma after people rejected him for the fox.

So true SP's shipping bias is so unprofessional and as you said ruins the integrity of the stories as they force a ship that contradicts canon and usually in ways that aren't believable.

[ilynpilled]

do you believe jc’s endgame is to die together?

i think i have communicated much of this already, but let’s just say i am more open to the possibility than most jb/jaime ppl, but i am not at all as certain of it happening as most ppl in general fandom seem to be, and i am also not a huge fan of it personally. here is my perspective:

yeah, it is explicitly integrated into their belief system. it faded from jaime’s, as he did abandon her, and already often contradicted it through moments of being ready to recklessly die, or his passive suicidal ideation, but it was always present as a key aspect of their ‘destined lovers’ delusion. the thing with me though is that i dont really think this is how george tends to do foreshadowing? he does love to be unpredictable. and i have seen this argument many times before by other people who doubt this being their trajectory. not to mention the whole idea seems to get deliberately deconstructed over time.

jaime comes to the realization that she was the stranger (and we know he is cersei’s stranger, but she does not think he means death). he starts treating the relationship very differently (george says they are “effectively estranged”), and their fate is no longer entwined in his head. them saying they will die together is telegraphing that is very in your face. i mean the text is telling us what would happen explicitly. is that supposed to be deliberate and meant to be a tragic irony? i can see it working from that perspective maybe. but i think this aspect would still be effective without the double death necessarily, even though i can see how the wording may be deliberate here, i just have certain thematic gripes with it. we know these two are not supposed to be reliable narrators when they say this. their relationship is a twisted attempt at self-love. again, i get that there is a subversion happening with cersei being killed by him for one, but is the belief system supposed to end up “endorsed” by the text from the pov of jaime’s character, even if it is tragically ironic? what i am saying is that ig i would be more certain of it happening if cersei did not keep repeating it explicitly atp while jaime is completely contradicting it simultaneously. if they are supposed to doom each other, what is really the point of that divergence? of the deconstruction of such a narrative in jaime’s head? why not send jaime back and have him not make those kind of key choices? jaime’s arc is supposed to be about choices (“whatever he chose…”), and defining his own fate and identity (like you do not even have to believe it is about exploring redemption to get this out of the text), so i really still cannot help but dislike the idea that this is set in stone despite everything that he keeps doing and the choices that he keeps on making. like there is an essentialist aspect to this belief system that i would prefer to be subverted honestly from the perspective of his character. i want all of these choices to have some kind of result (the letter, oathkeeper, the pit, rejecting her because of certain ultimatums even before the cheating reveal, abandoning the pursuit of the brotherhood for the vow to cat in adwd). + the hand that held her foot could have very well been the one that got chopped, so there is symbolism there. he is not tied to her. and that hand loss and “change” is constantly emphasized when it comes to JC. and i really do not want jaime to die before having some kind of confrontation with bran tbh. and i have talked about the widow’s wail thing before. if jaime is gonna wield it (which i think there is a set up for), then he would have to come out of KL alive with it. the weirwood dream also has them separate. her torch being the ‘only light in the world’ is replaced by brienne’s sword’s fire being the only one still burning in his darkness when the ghosts rush in.

this is another argument that i have seen before, and see validity in. george does write that belief system as something that has an element of ‘sociopathy.’ like of course it isn’t meant to be ‘romantic’. and jaime is also growing out of it. his relationship with a lot of characters now, brienne included, is a testament. i do not at all mind if jaime dies down the line, i just really would prefer it if there is some form of triumph over the self when it comes to his ending. i also atm cannot imagine how it would go, and what would cause jaime’s death, and how they would “leave the world together” logistically with the valonqar prophecy existing. so while i think george might be capable of executing it in a way that i could like, and i see that tragic irony working out, i still am not crazy about it as a concept atm for all the reasons above. we will see.

[hopeymchope]

re: toxic fanbases. I'm not good at telling what fanbases are toxic. I'm both a doormat ("that rando who started yelling at me all of a sudden probably has a good reason and I'm dumb for not seeing it 👍") and a weirdo who tends to stay within very small circles. With Danganronpa, I feel like there's *something* that makes it a little jarring compared to other communities, although it's by far not the worst community I've personally interacted with.

Its popularity definitely plays a massive role; it's actually impressive to see how active Danganronpa circles remain after all this time, but the downside is that there's a lot of brainrot, distant memories, and most importantly people who've been involved with it for WAY too long. I myself have definitely grown horribly bored of having the same tired debates be brought up time and time again - I can imagine people with a different personality from mine getting very upset over that.

Though I don't feel a connection to that aspect at this time, the prevalent young fanbase also comes with its qualities and flaws.

I could go on, because this community is so large and so old that it's genuinely, like I already mentioned, jarring at times. I'll turn my back from being told DRAE is irredeemable media because it uses dark humour to see someone draw a Komaru with giant tits requesting coitus. There are times when interacting with Danganronpa fans has made me wish I'd just never known about Danganronpa at all, so all things considered, even if I can't put words on it, there's a strong negative aspect to it.

At the same time, I don't know how it being Danganronpa specifically relates to some negative experiences I had - was some of the abuse I endured as a Wiki admin related to the way the DR fandom is? Or did it have to do with Wikis more than it did with DR, with French users more than it did DR? Maybe the problem is that this series has given so many of us such intense brainrot and we can't stop getting involved with it.

Sorry if this long ask is annoying in any way - I figured you might be interested in exploring the conversation around how the DR fandom might come across as toxic, objectively or subjectively OTL

One thing I remember for sure is that when I posted Akudama Drive LGBTQ headcanons, I felt perfectly fine and happy about it - but when I decided to post my Danganronpa headcanons too, I had a strong feeling that I was taking a risk, however small. That's not a very nice feeling to get as an adult who's just trying to be a little happy and silly with PNGs.

Oh, I don't mind a long ask at all! I'm grateful for the detailed thought you put into this, honestly. :) I'm a pretty wordy person myself — you may have noticed.

I think a lot of what you're describing as negatives within the DR community are unfortunate constants with fandoms of ANY popular media these days. Not ALL of it, but....

Every piece of media is gonna be declared irredeemable/offensive/problematic by some parties now if it delves into any kind of darkness or deals with any kind of major crimes, it seems like I've seen more than one person online state — with a straight face, mind you — stuff like "Danganronpa is toxic AF, many of those characters are LITERALLY murderers" and I'm just over here thinking are you fucking serious? I don't remember seeing people say stuff like this in my fandom circles before 2019 or so, but I see it everywhere now. It seems to have grown more prevalent since the 2020s hit? There are people who just can't stand to deal with any moral grayness, any dark theming, etc — and they don't think anyone else should allowed to enjoy that stuff either. (Now I'm wondering whether there are people similarly dismissing Akudama Drive. Much smaller fandom, so maybe you don't see that. But I can imagine someone grumbling "These characters are LITERALLY criminals, wtf." LOL)

We all know Internet Rule 34, but I feel like there are certain built-in multipliers to it that increase how widespread it is. Animated media? That's a multiplier that will cause even MORE porn to exist. Japanese media? That's another multiplier. Which means there's tons of porn of DR characters — even for the teen characters that're underage in most countries like Komaru. At least I've never stumbled across porn of the small children like the Warriors of Hope, THANK FUCKING GOD. I sadly don't doubt that it exists, but I hope to god it remains in a dark corner, out of my goddamn sight.

And I definitely feel much, MUCH more afraid to say anything about LGBTQ headcanons for popular media than I do for relatively small fandoms. Maybe that's partly symptomatic of being American in an era where tolerance and acceptance of LGBTQ people is sliding horiffically backwards? At least I think I'm safter to share such things on Tumblr than I would be on Reddit. I'd be afraid to talk about my personal DR LGBTQ headcanons, too. I've even drafted a post about that once and then been like "You know what? No. I'm not opening myself up to abuse for this," leading me to delete it. I've done similarly for the Madoka Magica fandom as well... too active, too big = too likely to result in blowback. I believe Akudama Drive is a pretty small fandom, though, so it makes sense to me why that'd feel like a more comfortable place to talk LGBTQ concepts.

But with all of that said, I can't claim that the infighting over interpretations of characters and events that I see on the DR Wiki is something that every fandom deals with. Maybe some of them do; honestly, Fandom Wikis weren't really so huge a thing before I got deep into DR in the back half of the 2010s, and I haven't really gotten involved with any of the Fandom Wikis I've come across afterwards either. So I don't know for sure! But it seems like that could be uniquely unpleasant about the DR fandom — the way people define "canon" as a matter of personal interpretation.

Since I'm stuck on the English side of the DR Wiki, I'm not certain whether you deal with the same stuff in the French incarnation. Characters like Komaeda and Ouma are especially difficult to police — they have so many fans who think they are pure of heart, and so many fans who find them loathesomely manipulate, and you can't necessarily be certain what about them is true or false. Put all that together, and it's hard to keep things to "Just The Facts" when people fundamentally disagree on what the facts ARE, which can lead to a lot of infighting among the people editing the thing! God... even deciphering the truth about what's going on in V3 and determining how we should or shouldn't explain that haziness is an awfully sticky wicket all by itself.

[thelioncourts]

What are some of the worst IwtV takes you've seen on Twitter/Tumblr

oh god

kink shaming. like, in general, but in anne rice's world? are you joking?

book fans thinking the show is going to cater entirely to the books and show fans thinking the show isn't going to include certain aspects of the books. neither of you are correct.

the inability to accept that lestat does, and will continue to do, bad things. of course they all will, it's not lestat that solely does bad things, but there's this weird stan-crusade that's like 'he's a perfect angel baby, he had trauma as a kid' and yes, he did have severe trauma as a kid, but no, he's not good. we're talking about a character that, as the protagonist of the series, rapes and assaults and murders and does all these things. you can still love him! believe me, you can!! but accept that he's not good. point above brings me to my next point: the villainization of fans for liking "~problematic~" things and/or characters. this is tvc, they're all problematic and they all participate in and do problematic things. your favorite is not good. the hypocrisy is. a lot.

people not getting that louis being black does change a lot of things, make things different; yes, he's still louis, but if you think him being black is not a game changer in his characterization, idk what to tell you. it's very obvious from the research the writers' room was posting before the strike, in the interviews given by cast and crew, and every aspect of the show.

there's more but these are the big ones. I just think a lot of people are in the wrong fandom. not in a 'I'm trying to gate-keep this fandom from others' but in a 'if you can't handle kinks that aren't your own being explored in fanfic or accept the darkness of this world and want to sanitize it, maybe you should go to a different fandom.'

[ohwolfling]

Thanks, I do appreciate the clarification. I was mostly bothered by your tags that said "you can't logic and empathy and beg someone / out of finding the clearly bad things sexy", as though there's anything wrong with finding bad things sexy in the first place. That, and the implication that enjoying a "bad ending" somehow shameful or reflective of people's media literacy. I for one thoroughly enjoy popping red flags like candy; I love putting characters through bad endings and chewing on the deliciously fucked-up results. That doesn't mean I don't understand what the canon was portraying. And I don't think I or anyone else should have "learned shame" over enjoying dark fantasies about getting to be awful (or be with an awful character).

You shouldn't have shame about exploring darker things in fiction where it hurts no one. You should probably have enough to not transfer your emotional or sexual response to it to a person portraying it. You should have enough to tag cw/tw. You should have enough to genuinely feel the devastation of a victim stepping into the role of abuser because it's the only way they can feel safe.

We might just be at an impasse here because for me personally understanding canon also means being a certain level of mindful about trauma. I don't want to be the king of trauma or speak over anyone... we all cope as we cope... but the way we engage with media and fiction often extends to our real world views. Baldurs Gate 3 is rare in how well it handles all of that and never infantalizes its characters. They get to be fuck ups, difficult people, & whether they do a Bad or a Good or a Meh, their victimhood is never questioned. There's no implication they deserved it.

I DO think that the aspects of fandom I was discussing (and only you, Anon, can know if that applies to you or not, idk you) engage with the story in a way that is almost an abuser fantasy. I think many people hide behind being femme or being romance fangirls to say and do things that by now most of us recognize as really bad and upsetting when a man does the same. That does transfer to real world danger, even if that danger isn't being abusive yourself but seeking out abusive dynamics in relationships.

That of course is not the same as you and your partner(s) deciding with full consent & safe boundaries how to bring pain, shame, or non moral character role play into your world. Let that freak flag fly. But for me the act of empathy & navigating trauma is the point so I personally can't do that.

Ultimately, if my advocacy for survivors & my work to translate trauma on screen as more than just a sandbox for non-traumatized people to play in (or worse a practice pitch or inspirational mine for people who get off on doing the abusing) makes you have a lot of big feelings and is unpleasant for you, I'm maybe one of the people you should block.

My lens will always ultimately be that violence & trauma on screen should prioritize care & being cathartic or resonate with those who have survived violence & trauma irl. And that extends to not being very keen to sexualize or goof off or whatever about abuse survivors being doomed to fail or becoming abusers themselves.

That's not a judgement of your character - I'm not a god. It's simply a reality of who I am and how I engage. And for me, those things are non negotiable. 💖

[liladiurne]

20 questions for fic writers!

Thanks for tagging me @givereadersahug

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I've only just reached 14!!! But one of those is a translation of an already published work, so technically it's 13.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

571 k

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just HP for now.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Brighter Than Bright

On the Deficiencies of Translation Spells

Miraculous

Certain Dark Things

with great outbursts and lightnings

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Sometimes it takes a while, because I need lots of energy to respond, but I try to respond to each and every comment, even if I don't have anything particular to say. Leaving comments is harder than it seems, and I'm grateful for anyone who takes the time to tell me how they feel about about my fics.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Mmm. Probably Sudden Light. It's not so much an unhappy ending, more of an open ending, but I guess that because there is no obvious closure, it can be seen as a pretty angsty ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh that's hard... It's probably a tie between On the Deficiencies of Translation Spells and Certain Dark Things. Both have similar "and they lived happily ever after" endings.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not hate, no. Just questionable and sometimes rude-ish comments. Which I just ignore and delete now. I used to spend so much energy on trying to reason with those people and justify why I wrote the things they questioned or didn't like. I understand now that I can't please everyone, and I don't bother interacting with those readers anymore. And I'm not above blocking people to protect myself and avoid drama.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yessss! The filthy kind!! 🤣 Okay, no, I really really enjoy reading porn with feelings. So that's what I try to write.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't written one yet, but I'd really love to someday. They are a ton of work though. If I did, I think I'd love a LOTR crossover... I'm just absolutely in love with that universe and would love to explore it more and maybe have all my favourite characters mingle!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, by myself. I have some trust issues when it comes to my works and those have caused me to refuse any translation requests. I hope, in time, I can get over this fear. But I've had fun translating one of my own fics into French, and I'm hoping to translate more in the future.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I would love to!!! I think I would find it hard to do though, because I get very possessive of my ideas and things usually take shape so vividly in my head that I would find it hard to compromise on certain aspects of a fic. But with the right person, I would love to try a collab!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Snarry, no question. But I do enjoy reading Harry with anyone. He's my baby and I'll always support him! He just deserves all the love! And all the sexy times!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Probably Brighter Than Bright. I'm not doubting I will finish it, I know I will, in time, but I just don't know when. Because it's such a big endeavour and I've been having inspiration problems with that fic for a long time.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm really good at writing introspection. It comes easy to me anyway... if that's how we define strength?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogues, probably. It's the aspect of writing I struggle with the most.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I did it and it's fun! But it's important to double check with a native speaker and make sure it's all good.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

HP all the way.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I would normally say with great outbursts and lightnings, because it's my very first snarry and the most precious to me, for many reasons. But I think my favourite may actually be Certain Dark Things. Because it was so fun to write, because I love the imagery and the atmosphere of this fic to death. And it's based (loosely) on my favourite book, so it would make sense why I love it so much.

Tagging: anyone who wants to play! I don't want to bother anyone, so please if you feel like doing this, pretend I tagged you. 🥰

[noperopesaredope]

I know Curly fucked up and fumbled the ball in regards to Anya, but damn do I feel bad for him. He did not deserve this shit. While I think it's interesting to analyze and acknowledge that he was an enabler and also talk about how he was one of Jimmy's victims, I think I'd like to see more people analyze the disability aspect of Curly's story.

While being disabled isn't necessarily bad or a "punishment" (as some people have put it), you have a strong point on the horror aspect of it all. What makes Curly "scary" to me isn't because he was severely deformed and disabled, but because of the unimaginable pain he was experiencing.

Again, being disabled isn't necessarily terrible, but chronic pain is a bit of a bitch. Everyone I know with chronic pain wishes that they didn't have it. It's lowkey the main disability where people are actually like, "I hate this and it feel like I'm dying." Curly has what seems to be one of the most severe types of chronic pain imaginable, constantly in pain and unable to move without suffering. The idea of never-ending pain is part of the true horror to me, and part of the scare factor.

(Also, for me personally, the idea of never being able to blink is deeply upsetting because I have issues regarding eye-based body horror and the idea of never being able to protect my eyes via my eyelids is distressing).

One thing that I find interesting to see in fics and even sometimes in the game (as well as on a meta level in the fandom) is how dehumanized Curly is treated by people. Post-crash, people kind of infantilize him or treat him extremely differently, like he is a completely different person and no longer Curly. But while the trauma may have changed him, he is still very much Curly and has the exact same mental capacity as before.

The only reason he is dependent on others is because of his physical disabilities. It feels like people would be constantly talking down to him or treating him like a child when he is very much still an adult with an adult mindset. He can understand what people are saying, and while he needs help doing certain takes, it feels weird to see anyone baby him. I like fics where Anya treats him as having mostly the same mental capabilities as before while taking his trauma into account, and talks to him the same way she always has because she knows he is still the same person, just with a different body than before.

I feel like if Curly's head was fully protect from the crash and thus looked the same as before (but he was still unable to speak for whatever reason and experienced a certain degree of paralysis in the face), people (specifically the fandom) would treat him very differently. They wouldn't draw him in some of the ways they do and in certain memes or portray him in certain ways in fics and whatnot.

It can feel pretty annoying sometimes to see people draw him like a "smol little guy" when it comes to his Post-Crash self. The only exception I have to this is if the person draws his Pre-Crash self the exact same way. Make him always and forever baby. This phenomenon of him being infantilized is a mild form of horror to me.

You also said there is a horror in the loss of autonomy, and I believe that this was one of the most tragic and dark parts of Curly's story, as one of the most interesting to explore. One moment that disturbs me a lot is Jimmy hurting Curly while giving him the pills not just because Curly is getting hurt, but because it is caretaker abuse, something I find incredibly disturbing. Seeing someone mistreat a person who is dependent on them, especially in ways like this is absolutely horrible to see and extremely upsetting. It's like going to a nursing home and seeing one of the stronger nurses beat the shit out of one of the elderly folks in a wheelchair.

It's such a bad situation because there is no way to fight back and can happen behind closed doors with no forms of intervention or ways out. Possible even worse, their abuser is someone who is meant to take care of them and keep them safe and as healthy as possible, but is instead hurting them at their most vulnerable.

It's also part of why I can't read fics where Anya is more resentful towards Curly. Fics where she is still a bit angry and doesn't fully forgive him? Yes. Fics where she doesn't feel bad for him and sometimes acts cruel towards him? No. And I think that's because at the end of the day, she is his primary caretaker, and the idea of a caretaker taking their anger out on their patient is deeply uncomfortable to witness.

It's possibly the most horrifying part of Curly's situation. His helplessness and inability to protect or advocate for himself, trapped in his own body which is constantly in pain. I'd love to see more discussions about Curly from a disabled perspective, as I think it's one of his most interesting traits that could be explored more.

getting attached to how Curly encapsulates the horror of disability and loss of autonomy while being dependant on people that make any and all decisions for you

[archivingantiviral]

Antiviral Director Brandon Cronenberg

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Like the offspring of any revered icon, Brandon Cronenberg’s last name grabs hold of your attention. Indeed, the 33-year-old Canadian filmmaker is the son of David Cronenberg, genre cinema’s great auteur of psychodrama and body horror. And like his father, Brandon expresses a strong interest in the inextricable brain-body link, not to mention the dark crevices of society’s underbelly. Antiviral, Brandon’s feature debut as writer and director, is a sci-fi satire with a sharp conceit worthy of that unmistakable surname, and a stylistic strength that promises more compelling work from its maker. Uniquely skewering our ever-evolving (or devolving) obsessions with celebrity, the movie, now playing in limited release, tells of a world intended to appear not very far from our own, wherein a facility known as the Lucas Clinic perpetuates the ultimate form of star worship, infecting rabid fans with diseases harvested from the cells of the über-famous (what’s more, delis on corners sell “steaks” grown from celebrity muscle cells, so die-hards can literally consume their favorite A-Listers). At the center of this seriocomic nightmare is Syd March (Caleb Landry Jones), a Lucas employee who also moonlights as part of the superstar-sickness black market. Things turn especially ugly when Syd comes down with the same bug afflicting America’s most-wanted sweetheart.

In person, Brandon is deeply humble and unassuming, a boyish-looking guy with his father’s grey-blue eyes, and a few piercings that project just the right amount of edge. He’s remarkably articulate about the themes his film explores, and he proves just how fully he mulled over the movie’s ideas, which, according to him, aren’t that far-fetched at all. In a high-rise in the heart of Midtown Manhattan, in a small office whose unremarkable sterility calls to mind Antiviral‘s stark aesthetic, Brandon chats at length about the psychology of fandom, the time he cozied up with a primate on one of his dad’s sets, and his thoughts on the trajectory of celebrity culture, which, if not literally, has surely already gone viral.

Filmmaker: There’s a lot of pointed dialogue in Antiviral in regard to celebrity, such as, “What does it mean to deserve to be famous?” and, “Celebrities are not people, they’re group hallucinations.” How much of this is your own perspective? Do you believe that certain celebrities don’t deserve to be famous? Do you see them as being real people?

Brandon Cronenberg: A lot of that is me, but it’s also filtered through the character, so not everything said in the film is just directly my own opinion. “Celebrities are not real, they’re group hallucinations”—I do believe that. I think that the majority of people have this idea about a celebrity, but that idea is sort of a culturally constructed thing and kind of a fiction. Because a lot of what’s reported about celebrities is made up, and a lot of our sense of them comes from the media and is sort of unrelated to the human being who is living their own life, and living and dying in this way that’s sort of disconnected from their media double. But I think anyone who’s famous deserves to be famous, only in the sense that this whole criterion for fame is that people recognize you enough to be famous. A lot of people say, “Oh, this person doesn’t deserve to be famous.” What is it really to deserve to be famous? It isn’t an accomplishment. I think fame has always been something other than an accomplishment. It’s sometimes tied to an accomplishment—sometimes people become famous because they accomplish something. But I think it has more to do with the repetition of an image, or of a person, or a name, rather than fulfilling a certain obligation.

Filmmaker: The whole thing must be a more interesting concept for you now, since you’re essentially becoming a celebrity yourself, being a filmmaker in the public eye.

Brandon Cronenberg: That aspect of it is really weird, because going around promoting a film that’s about something like this is kind of strange. But, two things: First of all, as a director, and especially as a Canadian director, I can only become so famous, so I don’t imagine myself getting stalked by paparazzi anytime soon. Also, I think that the film is about the industry of celebrity, which isn’t the same as just celebrity in general, in a sense. I think, for instance, to recognize someone and have respect for them because you like their work, and to take an interest in what they’re doing because of that isn’t unhealthy—I think that’s fine. It’s more that certain level of fanaticism that represents a kind of mania and a kind of delusion that is unhealthy. And tied to that is this increasingly insular industry of celebrity that sort of mass produces fame through reality television, and tries to elevate people to this point where they’re famous and their job is just being famous for a year, or two years. I think that is different from just talking about your film, in that all art, to a certain extent, is a cultural dialogue that you need to engage in as an artist.

Filmmaker: What specific thing in our celebrity-obsessed culture do you see as being most closely linked to the satirical extreme that you go to in Antiviral?

Brandon Cronenberg: I don’t think there is one! [Laughs.] Someone bought John Lennon’s teeth, you know? But that isn’t even just the one thing. Covers of magazines comparing people’s cellulite…[the film is] only a very slight exaggeration. That industry’s pretty insane.

Filmmaker: I read that this idea germinated when you were in film school at 24, and came down with a bad case of the flu. Did a fear of illness or mortality factor heavily into the concept?

Brandon Cronenberg: It wasn’t really a fear of illness, it was more just a moment of seeing disease as something intimate. Because a virus is manufactured, literally, in someone else’s body, by their infected cells, and then gets into your body and penetrates your own cells, and that’s hugely intimate if you think about it on that level. So it was that moment of seeing disease as intimate and trying to think of a character who would see disease as something intimate. We tend to be repulsed by disease, but you could imagine an obsessed fan who would want a celebrity’s virus, or something, as a way of feeling physically connected to them if it were described in those terms—something from their body into your body. Don’t you want that? Someone’s gotta want that.

Filmmaker: You’re 32 now?

Brandon Cronenberg: 33.

Filmmaker: In the the eight or nine years since you first toyed with this idea, the world of celebrity and fan relationships has changed quite a bit, with social media somewhat leveling the field of interaction and things like that. Was there ever a worry that the concept would lose some of its relevance because of that evolution?

Brandon Cronenberg: During editing, a friend of mine sent me this Sarah Michelle Gellar clip where she was on Jimmy Kimmel Live and she was saying that she was worried about singing because she had this cold—she was worried she would infect the entire audience. And then everyone started applauding madly and cheering. So I thought, “Okay, we’re pretty much making a documentary now!” So it’s changed and it hasn’t changed. I’ve been talking about Paris Hilton lately. She’s out of style now, and maybe seems like the obvious, passé celebrity to go to to discuss this sort of thing, but I think, early on, when I was first writing, she was just really becoming very public, and there’s something about that moment, when a lot of people were using the phrase “famous for being famous.” Again, I don’t think fame has ever been inherently bound to accomplishment, but I think she was so just famous for being famous, in a way that everyone recognized, that I think that really fed into the celebrity industry. It was a certain moment in the history of celebrity. Now, to say that she’s famous for being famous is not even interesting anymore, but at the time, people were like, “Haven’t you noticed that Paris Hilton is famous for being famous and isn’t that kind of weird?”

Filmmaker: As the central character, Syd March, Caleb Landry Jones gives a really impressive breakthrough performance, and he looks like a runway model, which amplifies your visual juxtaposition of fashion-magazine chic and body horror. Can you describe how you came to work with him and how he complimented your aesthetic?

Brandon Cronenberg: Sure. His agent had worked with my producer, and when we were looking around for actors, he sent Caleb’s stuff over—some clips from films he’d been in and an audition he’d done for another film. And we all got immediately, really excited because he has that very striking look, and he’s very intense, and a great actor, He really has that thing that some actors have where they’re immediately interesting to watch. Even when they’re doing very mundane things, they’re somehow able to be captivating performers. So we wanted to get him and he wanted to do it, so it worked out nicely. I had actually written the character for a much older actor, and the character was a bit different in my mind, but when I saw Caleb, I wanted to plug into the excitement and roll with it. Now I can’t see that character any other way. He brought a huge amount to it and that was part of developing that character—discovering all of this stuff with him.

Filmmaker: And then, of course, there’s Sarah Gadon, who starred in your father’s Cosmopolis last year, and A Dangerous Method the year before that. Did your father recommend her to you?

Brandon Cronenberg: Well I saw her in A Dangerous Method, and I thought she was great, but I hadn’t met her until we sent her the script. I liked what I saw from her in my dad’s work, and then I asked him, and he said he had a great experience with her. So, whether you’re related to them or not, being able to talk to directors who have worked with actors, it’s a good thing.

Filmmaker: Gadon’s character, Hannah Geist, is the ultimate desirable object in Antiviral, and then there’s also Aria Noble, played by Nenna Abuwa. I was wondering why you didn’t opt to focus on any obsessed-over male celebrities in the film.

Brandon Cronenberg: There are a couple of references, and on the walls there were some male celerities in the office. I guess I was focusing on female celebrities just because of the degree of the fetishy body stuff you get in celebrity news. I mean, you get that with male celebrities, too, but the “who has the worse cellulite?” stuff is always female. The covers of those magazines, the surgical precision with which people fetishize and criticize—it’s particularly extreme for females. But there are both in the film.

Filmmaker: I also read that you had initial interest in writing, painting, and music, and then turned to film because it merges all of those things. How influential was your father, or his work, in that decision?

Brandon Cronenberg: I was less inclined to get into film because of people’s preconceptions about me based on my father and the fact that they assumed I should want to be in film. Like, “Oh, you must love film and want to be in your father’s footsteps!” It was always kind of obnoxious and kind of off-putting. So, I would say it probably took me longer to develop an interest in film because of that, if anything.

Filmmaker: Yeah, the connection must be a bit of a double-edged sword. There’s a clear cache to it, but also this pressure to assert your own voice, and to live up to expectations.

Brandon Cronenberg: I’ve felt that pressure, but only because everyone keeps telling me I should! I didn’t feel any special pressure, but especially now that the film’s done, everyone’s asking me if I feel some special pressure to live up to something, so I’m starting to wonder if I should.

Filmmaker: Well there’s obviously some thematic kinship going on. Did that develop on more of an unconscious level?

Brandon Cronenberg: Yeah, it’s more…I decided when I got into film that I needed to not worry about his career and just do whatever was interesting to me. To actively avoid it would be defining myself in opposition to him and in that way defining myself in terms of his career still. So I just did what I thought was interesting. I mean, he’s my father and we have a close relationship, so the fact that some of our interests overlap is pretty reasonable.

Filmmaker: Growing up, were you on set for a lot of your dad’s projects? Any experiences tied to specific films that stand out as remarkable?

Brandon Cronenberg: I was present to varying degrees. I mean, obviously, a lot of it happened when I was very young, or before I was born, depending on the film. I worked on eXistenZ in the special effects department, so I was very around for that one. Some of the other ones, not so much. I tried to be on set a fair bit for Eastern Promises just because I was already in film school at that point, and wanted to absorb what I could. When I was a kid, the baboon from The Fly sat on my lap. That was a pretty memorable experience! But I don’t think it had an influence on me as a filmmaker. [Laughs.]

Filmmaker: Good stuff. In Anitviral, I noticed you also make passing mention of Henrietta Lacks, who’s made a lot of headlines thanks to Rebecca Skloot’s bestseller, and even recent updates about the continued usage of her cells. Did Lacks’s story strongly influence the film’s concept, or was it just woven into the fabric of it?

Brandon Cronenberg: It didn’t strongly influence it, but it’s just a really interesting idea, I think. Because that relationship between identity and the body is really interesting. I think they’re two very different things, and I think identity is this very theoretical, weird thing that no one has a full grasp on. I don’t think we can perceive ourselves perfectly clearly, but obviously, from the outside, people can’t know us perfectly either, and we’re always in flux. And then you have this body that people associate that identity with, but again, the body is constantly changing, and I find all of that stuff really interesting. And in the film, obviously, there’s the celebrity cell steaks, and the idea that they’re grown from the celebrities. It’s sort of cannibalism, but it’s not quite cannibalism. Are they that meat, or is that another thing? The human being, the body—is that the celebrity, or is the celebrity this cultural idea, this abstract thing? So that was just a really great, real-world example of that sort of thing, but it wasn’t at the core of the film.

Filmmaker: You mention in press notes that you’re naturally reclusive, much like Syd March. How much do you identify with the character? Beyond, you know, his activities…

Brandon Cronenberg: Well, I definitely put some of myself in there. But in weird ways. I was going to college in this horrible city in Ontario, called London, Ontario, and it was hard to get good food there. So, for a while, I was eating a lot of egg salad sandwiches and orange juice. And when I was thinking about the character, I thought that for a character whose main interest in his body is this disease, I could see how food could become just a purely functional thing—just a necessity that he takes no pleasure in. So he has these units of food—orange juice paired with egg salad sandwiches. Interestingly, Caleb—because he likes to live the character as much as he can—was eating all egg salad sandwiches and orange juice when he initially got to Canada, and then he got really sick of them. So he was worried that when it came to doing those scenes, he wouldn’t be able to eat the egg salad because he was so grossed out by it at that point. But apparently the props department makes solid egg salad, so… [Laughs.]

Filmmaker: There’s a lot of talk in the film about the human face. Can you discuss your fascination with it?

Brandon Cronenberg: Yeah. There’s a line in the film that says “[the face] has a high information resolution.” I think it’s true. There’s such a huge amount of information that we communicate consciously and unconsciously through our facial expressions. And apparently that’s why we so commonly see faces in clouds and in rock formations—because our brains are tuned to look for faces, and look toward that information. Apparently with zebras, it’s the stripes. We see zebras as just striped animals, but they really identify each other through the stripes and they can really recognize quickly individual markings, and that’s a huge identifying factor for them. So I think the way we see things depends greatly on our biology.

Filmmaker: Antiviral speaks for itself, but how would you sum up your current view of our celebrity culture? Where do you see it going? Is it on a hopeless downward spiral? Is all this transparency just becoming more and more unhealthy? Is it getting worse? Better?

Brandon Cronenberg: I don’t know! I think it’s a version of something, a kind of broader, older human tendency that we have to deify each other. One example I tend to fall back on is sainthood. The saints were sort of celebrities. They were people elevated to the status of gods, almost, and there’s the iconography—the recognizable repetition of images—and the same physical fetishism. There are the old Italian churches that claim to have the finger bone of such-and-such saint, and it’s imbued with this great power, these relics. So I think we do that, for some reason. I’m not exactly sure why. I think it’s hard to predict where celebrity culture is going, just because I don’t think it’s unique to our time and place. Again, I think the industrial aspect of that is something that’s fairly unique, or that’s at least becoming more prominent—the manufacturing of celebrity to make money. And I assume that will, just by the nature of industry, go as far as it possibly can, but it’s hard to predict. I don’t know if it will implode eventually. I think we’ll always have some version of celebrity.

by R. Kurt Osenlund in Directors, Filmmaking, Interviews on Apr 12, 2013

[seeminglyseph]

Somehow I am getting so many more scenes with Astarion as Py than I did as Lake. I feel like I should just backtrack Lake a bit and have *him* romance Gale and have Py romance Astarion because Py is absolutely connecting with Astarion 100% better than Lake was. Though honestly Lake is connecting with Shadowheart the best and it’s completely by accident because I don’t know a lot of BG or official DnD lore, like I’ve said in the past my DnD knowledge comes from Critical Role so like. Even my knowledge of the pantheon is like. Idk, questionable at best. Making Lake a Drow Selûnite Cleric was a happy accident for twinning Shadowheart. I didn’t *plan* on Lake being like… Shadowheart’s weirdly intense best friend. But the idea that Lake and Shadowheart are best friends in that weirdly intense way that like. Makes everyone kinda uncomfortable and not really sure what’s going on especially since Lake isn’t into women and is dating someone else. Double especially since Lake is trans but like, not really transitioned because a) he’s very femme presenting and b) there isn’t a top surgery option. But also because I project certain traits into him, he has a sort of “I’m comfortable with using aspects of my femininity, and I’m used to finding power in these aspects of myself, I’m learning how to come to terms with what that means when my identity doesn’t align with many of the things I’ve learned to draw power from” and the whole. Moon Goddess Sacred Femininity thing worked for part of that. There are aspects to being a trans masculine person who is in some way used to drawing power from femininity and how that feels like a betrayal to self once you identify that schism in your identity and how you feel that I want to explore and Lake is an interesting character to explore it through. Making him a Cleric to Selûne was part of that. Having him have what would *appear* to be a very homoerotic friendship with Shadowheart despite not having sexual attraction towards women and also having complex feelings towards Selûne that I doubt will be explored in gameplay but that’s what headcanon and fan material is for. I don’t join fandoms to be passive. I join fandoms to create my own experiences for my blorbos.

Py is developing his own existence and I’m very much going to have to double check how long half elves live. And I’m very close to throwing in the towel and romancing Astarion with him and backtracking with Lake because Astarion is going significantly better on this run.

Plus it would probably be better for me to fix some stuff in my Lake run… I think I missed a bunch of stuff it would be better to go get… especially now I’ve figured it out. So. I think that might be the new plan. Because Py has had like. 3 new scenes with Astarion and I haven’t even done the end of the act and triggered a romance yet. I mean we’re still cooking at medium while Gale is at Very High but I feel like Gale is just. Easier to get to like you if you play a Good For The Most Part character. While Astarion is harder to find the Approval triggers for. Or there are fewer of them in the first act. I’m not looking it up right now, I don’t want to look at walkthrough levels of clarity.

Part of me is a little afraid like. “Meet him where he’s at” Bitchy talk like “can I convince you to kill someone less useful” will trigger as evil and send him on the dark path rather than come across as like… “seen some shit morbid humour” to which I am accustomed. Because the conversation feels like a weird Fuck/Marry/Kill flirting session. But I’ve been Glassed before and I just want these video game people to like me. And Astarion is very stubborn.

I’m sitting outside taking a smoke break so this has gotten quite rambling and disjointed, but. I’m also just. Really enjoying something to eat up my time and attention and I’m hoping to get far enough in the game I can enjoy some of the more meaningful and spoilerful stuff. I really am enjoying digging everything I can out of the first act so I don’t miss anything important