#this box can fit so much trauma and need for comfort

[talesofmetalandmagic]

Xerath in denial

"My splendid Magus"

The Seer of the Sand kneels at Xerath's feet and stands, raising her hands in adoration. There's something absent in her gaze, as if what she was saying was apocalyptic news.

"Suspicious words come from the capital"

Xerath emits a low chuckle. So that's where Azir has gone, alongside his crew of sycophants. Back home, like a frightened child. All his promises for things to be different are as hollow as ever.

"Speak, my loyal seer."

The woman takes a breath. The other followers, like Xerath's own Herald and his mighty Acolyte, walk back. They can feel Xerath sizzling.

He's been agitated from the moment he locked Azir underground. The news of his escape didn't soothe him, and his failed attempt to capture him – the one where he willingly gave up – was the last straw for him. And since Xerath doesn't socialize with underlings, they can't even bring him comfort.

"They say the traitor Azir has abdicated"

Xeraths sizzles, his stone prison crackling and squeaking.

"What?"

"He... he renounced his crown. He's gathered the leaders of the unaffiliated tribes at the capital, and performed an abdication. They're electing a council as we speak."

Xerath breathes harshly with lungs he doesn't have. Azir... abdicating. It seems like a joke. A cruel joke at his expense, because that's all he's ever been – a thing to joke at, to step over, to walk above.

Azir loved him like his own brother, and even that wasn't enough to dampen his selfish ambition. Who could he love more than his own sworn kin.

"Liar! He's lying! Azir would rather..."

Xerath raises into the air, striking lighting into the warmth that surrounds him. "...he'd rather kill his own kin than renounce his absolute throne. He's..."

He coughs – coughs, despite being pure energy.

"Noblest Ascended, are you alright?"

It's everything I ever wanted. Freedom for us all, a warm tomorrow for Shurima. He promised, eons ago, and now he...

He kept it.

"He'd rather renounce his crown than surrender to me." So little do I matter, to his immense ego, that even his kingdom is worth less than his defiance.

"Great Magus Ascended", the Herald attempts. "Perhaps, this will provide an entrance for Your reign."

"He's gone weaker," the Acolyte proposes. "Your Radiance is mighty. We can expose his lies and..."

But Xerath's following strikes of lightning make the ground shake and the air burn.

"LEAVE ME! ALL OF YOU!"

Xerath rises into the skies, his armor cracking like burnt flesh, his lit eyes piercing through the veil of the night, a choking sound raising from his chains like a man in tears.

Even those on the ground hear his scream.

"You don't get to do this to me, Azir" he speaks to no one, feverish in wrath and madness. "You don't get to atone. You escaped me three times already. But I won't run. I will expose you, whatever it is you do. I know you."

And his lightning sear the clouds and light the sky like daylight.

When he comes down even his own loyalists have curled up behind rocks, some of which struck by his rampaging wrath. They don't care, of course. Xerath's pain is their own, and only one person before – one Omah Azir, currently organizing the distribution of supplies alongside the council he indeed elected – has ever felt his emotions so closely.

"Conceal yourself, go to the capital, and expose his lies once and for all", he tells his Seer.

"And when he's driven out once again, when his true soul is made bare to those he pretends to love... I'll be there to give my emperor his due".

[thebibliosphere]

Speaking of therapy, I say, as though we're old friends, and you're not a stranger trapped in this metaphorical elevator with me and you can hear the suspension wires starting to fray.

I've been doing a lot of work recently that's focused on imposter syndrome and the feeling that no matter how well or how much I do, I'm not good enough. That I'm somehow tricking everyone into thinking my work is actually good.

Some days it's a minor niggle in my head that I can gentle and soothe with logic and affirmations. Or smother, depending on the mood. Other times it's loud and all-consuming and the mental anguish it causes me is so real I can feel it twitching in my muscles. This desperate fight-or-flight instinct with nowhere to go and nothing to fight but myself.

Anyway, because I'm several types of Mentally Unwell™, I was switching between workshop sheets ahead of next week. Filling in different forms. (Trying to get a good grade in therapy) And I got my "recognize your harmful ADHD coping mechanisms" worksheet mixed in with the "you're not actually lying to people, you just feel like you are because your brain is full of weasels" worksheet, and seeing them side by side made something go topsy turvy in my head, and I just had to sit and breathe for a couple of minutes until the urge to scream passed. Because it clicked, it all suddenly clicked.

The reason the imposter syndrome workshops and therapy sessions aren't sticking was because I do routinely trick people into thinking I'm someone I'm not.

Because I'm masking my ADHD for their convenience.

I've always known there was something wrong with me. My neurotypical peers made it abundantly clear I didn't fit in or was failing in some way I couldn't see nor remedy, no matter how hard I tried.

So I compressed myself into a workaholic box of hyper-competence in the hopes they'd stop noticing the flaws and exploit like me instead. And then subsequently lived with the daily fear that if they looked too close, they'd realize I'm a monumental fuck up with enough personal baggage to block the Suez Canal.

If you ever need someone to burn themselves to ashes for your comfort and convenience, I'm your gal.

Or I used to. Until I had a bit of a breakdown, and the rubber band holding my brain together snapped and pinged off into the stratosphere, never to be seen again.

Unfortunately, the trauma of living like that didn't also fuck off and instead left a gaping maw where my personality ought to be, so now I get to deal with that aftermath.

And it's that aftermath that's affecting the imposter syndrome shit. Because yes, I am hyper-competent and good at what I do-- but it doesn't feel real because that is how I mask.

And the truly frustrating thing is I am good at what I do. I am not pretending. I worked hard to be good at this. It just feels like I'm dicking around because 90% of my personality turns out to be trauma masquerading as humor in a trenchcoat, and having people genuinely like something weird I'm doing is so foreign my brain has decided it's just another form of masking.

I'm pretending to be a good author so people will think I'm a good author, and my brain thinks we are in Danger of being found out. We are in Danger, and writing is Dangerous because then people will know I'm Weird and not whatever palatable version I've presented myself as for their NT sensibilities.

Like the neurotic vampire with a raging praise kink wasn't an obvious giveaway.

Anyway. I got nothing else. Thanks for listening.

I'm going to go be very normal in another room and not stare into the abyss of my own soul for a bit.

[yellowballoondogs]

Giving the x-men disabilities so they can suffer like me

I just think it’s cool how much people can relate to the x-men in marginalized groups no matter the group. Just like how they’re all gay, POC, religious minorities, etc.

Cyclops- Scott Summers

C’mon this is the most autistic man to ever autism

He’s got model plane sets and shit around his otherwise empty and perfectly cleaned room with the sheet corners tucked in and everything

He stopped stimming because of O’Diamonds and Sinisters abuse but started again when he got more comfortable with the o5 team. He definitely does flappy hands

He probably hyper fixated on an obscure engineering subject

photophobia- light sensitivity

Idk if it’s cannon or not but it would make sense with his brain damage and all (plus I have it and I’m projecting) it’s also an autism symptom so double whammy- his glasses will help

Migrainous stroke- basically stroke with migraines. It ties into brain damage and photophobia with migraines which would make so much sense. Frequent strokes too? Fuck yeah let’s highlight how his childhood trauma and overwhelming power effect him- how mutant powers aren’t always good.

He should have really shitty vision- canonically colorblind- wears glasses all the time so low light, his eyes basically fucking glow. This man cannot see for shit

“cut the red wire cyclops!” “They’re all red!”

Storm- Ororo Monroe

She’s canonically claustrophobic but it’s really only used as a once in awhile plot device

I think it should tie into anxiety a lot more

Ororo is the kind of person who uses a planner to manage every aspect of her day so she’s never caught of guard

She’s got only one timer set up to take her meds instead of 10 like the rest of us (she’s simply better)

She would have actual panic attacks that don’t end the second she’s out of a confined space. Full run-

For her a panic attack would cause a lot of derealization. She doesn’t feel like she’s in her body, she feels out of control, like she can’t breathe, dizzy, both hot and cold at the same time.

Nightcrawler-Kurt Wagner

syndactyly- fusion of fingers or toes. This is basically cannon. He’s got 2 big fingers and toes so like no explanation really needed. He’s got it even if it’s for different reasons.

This greatly effects his ability to do certain things- our boy can’t use a controller can he? How’s he meant to play Mario cart with the rest of the team ):

Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome- bendy bones and stretchy skin that causes lots of joint pain

He canonical has bendy bones so like this is also half canon. Plus I’m giving my blorbo chronic pain to project.

Pretty sure there’s a Spider-Man with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome too so that’s very slay.

Rouge- Anne-Marie

Hear me out- HPV It’s the whole- “I can’t touch anyone” thing

She was born with it

It causes a lot of pain for her but she hides it around people she’s not comfortable with (so really just unmasking in front of remy and her family)

Also stds just need to be a lot more normalized. And her having to be so weird about people with it fits so much with the whole “ew mutants” thing

Xavier

Yeah yeah he’s a paraplegic

They should be better about it though. No more of this curing him so often he’s like the one famous character wheelchair bound people get

Stop making him so weak, he runs a school to learn how to kick ass, man can probably box, who needs legs. They always just make him useless once someone kicks over his chair or something

Chronic migraines again

Listen hearing all those thoughts all the time can’t be all sunshine’s and rainbows. Make him suffer (this goes for all telepaths)

Gambit- Remy Lebeau

He canonically has brain damage (via lebeatomy) (haha get it)

He’s getting hit with migraines too. Making all these losers suffer

He probably also has very bad vision because of his eyes- probably not very good with light just like cyclops (likely worse)

I’m going to give him the worlds worst period cramps via dysmenorrhea. Yeah he’s trans to me I’m a romy t4t Reuther

Rapid fire listings let’s go!

Jubilee canonically has Dyscalculia- like dyslexia for numbers

Wolverine canonically has memory issues and ptsd

Magneto canonically has ptsd

Legion canonically has multiple personality disorder or DID- dissociative identity disorder. It’s not always portrayed the best but rep is rep

Angel canonically has hollow bones- I’m gonna gc him with osteoporosis

Headcanoning Madelyn Pryor with post partum depression

Scarlet witch gets head cannoned half of all the mental disorders- depression, psychosis, ptsd, and anything you wanna give her. Girl needs a staff of therapists, psychologists, and a cocktail of pills

Quicksilver gets headcannoned with ADHD. Boring I know but I’ve got it and it fits him so projection time

Let marrow have ptsd. Girl witnessed a genocide of her people and her moms death as a child. Why do they skim over that? Girl is suffering

Pyro canonically had the legacy virus which was like a big euphemism for AIDs so he gets that. Plus he also gets hit with the autism beam

Toad is autistic. No further questions

Jean grey gets the psychic migraines but I’m also giving her autism cause her relationship with Scott is nowhere near neurotypical. The biggest disability marvel gave her was liking wolverine though. He canonically smells like shit and is an asshole. I love him.

Kitty pryde gets type 1 diabetes- I cannot explain why it fits her it just does

Cable gets lupus cause he canonically had a fantasy space tech autoimmune disease so let’s just make it more realistic

Daken gets lactose intolerance (he’s fine because he doesn’t really actually eat dairy)

Iceman gets lactose intolerance (he’s not fine because he loves all things dairy)

Dust gets celiac disease

[sciderman]

I also tried to find that Peter neurodivergent post recently and yup, vanished. But anyway, I just read your post and tags responding to that other person's ask saying they can't find it. I really really don't think you sound stupid (not that I'm a professional either).

That post hit deep for me because as someone very new to getting therapy, it reminded me of my first session (in which I said, do I have audhd or what?). My therapist told me first thing "there's a lot of overlap between these traits you're listing and trauma". I kinda sat back like 🧍she said what's more important is making sure I'm functioning, coping... That not everything needs a label unless I really want one. I went home and asked my housemate (who's currently doing their psychology masters) and she said, "yeah, both often get misdiagnosed for the other".

That kinda changed my whole perspective on everything and so reading your post brought me back to that. Hoo, emotional and stuff,,

Enough rambling though, my points are:

• Thank you for saying that, it meant a lot (I'm kinda crying haha)

• You're right about it all to my knowledge!

• I hope everything's okay with you and you're happy with what stuff will mean for you ❤️ good luck and all that!

(sorry for the essay)

bless you anon!! i'm really proud of you for taking the steps into therapy, and i really hope that it's a helpful experience in getting to understand yourself better! wishing you so, so much luck on your journey, anon!

i definitely think labels aren't for everyone - and sometimes, sometimes they can be a stifling thing. it's a fantastic thing when you need to simplify something to explain to someone else - especially fantastic when you need someone else to make considerations for you. i find i only really use labels when i need someone else to understand something about me in a simple sort of a way. so i say "bisexual" when i need to explain myself quickly, but it's a shorthand, and there's probably a much more complicated label that might fit me better - pan, maybe, but who has time or courage to explain pan to a 50-something-white-guy - certainly not i, so - for ease of understanding, i'll put myself in that box.

i think labels are fantastic when they make your life simpler - but sometimes they can do the adverse when you realise they don't fit as well as you'd thought. when you need a label to fit, and you feel that pressure to fit into it when - actually, actually, you are more complicated than that. then - then, you might realise, the label isn't for you, and you can either hunt down another or - be easy with the fact that you're a unique beast, and not everything will fit all the time. there's overlap, and every brain case is so so unerringly unique to the person.

it's like lgbt+ labels, lord knows, the kids are inventing a new one every week because there's no way to encompass everyone's unique approach to attraction. we can say "this is me, and you might feel similar" and that helps - but truly, no human is 1:1. no experience is 1:1. one of you watched cats (2019) and it irreparably altered your viewpoint on the world once you saw fuzzy idris elba dance on the screen. one of you (mercifully) didn't, and didn't sustain that trauma. you're different.

i hope any explanations you get help you move forwards, anon! but i hope you're also comfortable in the knowledge that there ain't no thing like you, 'cept you! (and i love you)

[granulesofsand]

Escape the Tank

Our recommendation page is full of some hot takes we don’t agree with. Many of these are heavily based on the idea that group identity is binary, in or out, yes or no. Our collective has few boxes we fit, and even those require stuffing in or chopping off some stray bits.

We are queer. Our exact identities change with fronters, but to us, being a system is inherently not cishet. Some of us will be gay, bi, trans, nb, gnc, and we can belong in any of those spaces at any given time. Integrating front has left us with the equivalent of chewed Skittles, and this is the closest we’ve got to a collective label.

We are intersex. We don’t have the money to get tested for what kind, but our body is having a field day tossing out hormones with no apparent plan. Neither sex can tell ours, so we’re effectively excluded everywhere. We need support from all of them, especially as heavily traumatized as we are. There is no kind of pain that was closed to us, but no door that remains open to speak about it. Oppression might not be gender neutral, but language should include or specify to find its audience.

We are mixed race. Our body got its looks from the largest contributor, and we were lucky that the smaller percentages are less visible, even if they add up. We are lucky because people with those traits died young where we were raised. Less visible is not invisible, but we survived long enough passing for white that the later treatment was much easier on us. The culture that best matches our genetics was long abandoned, the last remains weaponized. The cultures we were brought into, the people we feel safe with might not feel safe with us. We resemble our perpetrators and theirs, but they are our people nonetheless.

We are a programmed collective. Our history rarely fits conversation amongst traumatized people, and certainly doesn’t among healthy-without-healing folk. We have the downsides of DID, but we don’t belong. Adaptive system, yes, but forged for another’s will. Different upsides, and more of a stretch. We refuse to heal correctly for a CDD — let alone a TBMC — system. We’re weird, and we’re doing better this way.

We are mixed origins. We have headmates of about every category, and we will care for their safety before anybody else’s comfort. Our life has been synonymous with trauma, it may well be all that we are, but we are also this. Our experience of our multiplicity and plurality are uncommon for both sides of syscourse. Instead of having access to both circles, we’re walled into the space between; not a lot of occupants in here.

We are disabled, both physically and not. Our symptoms vary by fronter, but there are some things our body keeps as a constant. We are all some level of hard of hearing, we can only get so far without a mobility aid, and our system is dysfunctional how we like it. But because we’re hardly seen as independent actors, disabled people look at what our body has — and we don’t know. None of us get the accommodations we need because we all have different needs.

I could keep going. You wanna guess how many of those terms we use for ourselves?

None of em.

Language is for understanding, and we introduce these concepts so we can be better known. But we don’t have any labels that fit us exactly. We are living, thinking creatures, and the intersections and details of our lives aren’t going to sit pretty in a paragraph description — assuming people even know what those words mean.

We are a lot of things. We’ll use the descriptors that fit, or we’ll make up our own phrases. The boxes are there for us, not the other way around. It would be so much easier if people would just hear us for our point of view.

[hyperactivewhore]

hi, writing an originals / tvd elijah fanfiction on ao3 and i like your brain. can you elaborate your thoughts on klaus and his preoccupation with his sister rebekah? he’s obsessed and i’m wanting to give you a space to just go nuts on the topic and maybe help me with my characterization? my fic revolves around trauma, religious and generational, and i’m not looking to paint klaus as anything other than severely disturbed. and this disturbing opinion is not one i encounter a lot. so: what’s his deal with his sister?

Klaus is an incredibly difficult character to write and he is, in my opinion, the most complex character in the tvd universe.

As a human, Klaus craved love desperately and the only people who gave it to him were Elijah and Rebekah: I wouldn't count Esther in, because despite the fact that she clearly loved him and all her kids, she just didn't give him the reassurance and comfort he needed, and she didn't protect him from Mikael either. As a result, Klaus clinged to the two of them and that only got worse when they turned into vampires. His "clinginess" turned into paranoia mixed with a toxic love, and as a result, he started controlling their lives by daggering them or/and killing any potential lovers because he was scared his siblings would love those persons more than they loved him and/or leave him because of it.

With Rebekah it was just worse, because they were the closest growing up and they remained the closest as vampires as well until Hope was born, where Elijah took her spot because she was finally free of him. It's canon Rebekah stood with Klaus even when Elijah didn't, and knowing how controlling he is, it's safe to assume she didn't get to be away from him for more than a month without having him throw a fit (I'm not counting The Originals days in this, because as I said before, it took Rebekah wanting to kill him to make Klaus see he was an asshole and he has to change his ways for the sake of his unborn daughter). In top of that, there's the side of him that gets insanely jealous whenever Rebekah has the smallest crush.

That is part of what I said about his paranoia and toxicity: he couldn't and wouldn't allow anyone to take his spot in her life, he loved her in a way that was abusive and Rebekah had no other choice but accept it. He was more than just overprotective and she falls in love way too easily, not just because he denied her the chance of a lasting relationship but also because mentally she's just a teenager that tends (at least in tvd) to lash out emotionally when people don't love her the way she wants them to.

In romantic terms, Klaus was denied of love too: he got rejected by Aurora in the most cruel way ever and Tatia didn't love him because she was in love with Elijah, and even a thousand years later the wounds caused by both women were in a sense still fresh. So he took it out on his little sister too, who was fond of anyone who was sweet to her, perhaps because he didn’t want her to go through the same heartache as him, and because he has been in love too and those feelings clouded his thoughts too much.

I mean, like when Aurora dumped her to the bottom of the ocean, when he was flirting with Hayley, when he was also flirting with Caroline while the mother of his daughter was kidnapped, or when he sacrificed himself for Cami: Klaus has put those women over his family a lot of times, something all his siblings have done with their respective love interests, and yet he criticizes them when they do it. They all chose love over family, but in Klaus's mind, he was the only one who had the right to. He's selfish like that, he can do whatever he wants but as soon as his family does the same he flips.

Despite that, he clearly loves his family. He loves Rebekah, Kol, Elijah, Freya, and even Finn: after all, he daggered him and kept him in a box for a thousand years and stuffed his mother into a coffin but he still carried their dead bodies around because he wasn't willing to abandon them despite everything.

One of my personal headcanons that you can take as canon if you want is that a part of his abuse towards Rebekah is because she looks like Esther. Their mother binded him, stripped him from his werewolf heritage and in a fit of rage he killed her: but it didn't do anything to quell his anger because his favorite sibling, his little sister, was her living image. We all know Klaus doesn't deal well with his emotions, especially the ones related to betrayal, so of course he was gonna blame his mother's actions on Rebekah.

And I don't know if that's what you meant, but I have a dumb brain so if you intented to have Klaus having "romantic" feelings for Rebekah it's more or less the same: he was obssesed with her, he didn't allow anyone to have her and she was the only woman who showed him loyalty, so his feelings could have easily changed into a form of twisted love and the mentality of "if I can't have her, no one can".

Anyway, I'm really honored you asked me about my opinion 🙌. Klaus is a fucked up person and it's hard to think why he does the things he does, people love to blame all his actions and the way he is on his bad childhood and Mikael's abuse and yeah, he deserved a better human life but his actions were his, being abused doesn't mean you have abuse other people and in his fear and hate he turned out to be even worse than Mikael in a sense.

(He's still my bitch tho)

[astrology-with-charu]

𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘆 𝗦𝗾𝘂𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗣𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗼 : 𝗪𝗲𝗲𝗸𝗹𝘆 𝗔𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘆 𝗛𝗼𝗿𝗼𝘀𝗰𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝟭𝟬-𝟭𝟲 𝗝𝘂𝗻

𝗕𝗲𝗮𝘂𝘁𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘁

The two rulers of Scorpio clash this week so I would have to come out of hibernation to talk about it considering they are my two rulers.

It’s needless to say this would be an intense week but intensity has a way of expression. Despite a lot of fear mongering on this poor transit which aims to get us off our relaxed Taurian behinds, I feel Saturn influence this week on Mercury can give us the sobering effect to make best use of it. Making this intensely productive week in my view but not the one of fun and luxury as love bombing of Venus and Jupiter might have made our mind slip into lala land. June is about to show us thousand shades of grey as it goes from all about Jupiter to all about Pluto & Saturn to Neptune to Saturn again as by end of month social planets are to slip into their retrograde journey - Saturn (29 Jun), then Neptune (2 July). One by one external influences affect us a lot this month but each leaves internal conflict of some form which we are left to resolve by ourselves as we would slip from communicative Gemini external talk season to being home with oneself Cancer season on 20th June. This internal conflict that external influences create within us is our driving force this week.

Before Neptune tries to make mush of my 29º Piscean Mercury I will try to get to point now. And despite my natural paranoid self, I would try to keep the remnant lesson of Neptune in Pisces transit - create from faith and not fear even though there is fear attached to this aspect in traditional thinking.

My Uranus ascendent won’t let you believe anything traditional. We wouldn’t make positive Taurean changes in external world where we value stability so much if our internal demons aren’t woken up by Pluto. Its the same place it all comes from - you packed it away due to social fear in the same damn place to hide from the light - your raw desires, “perceived” negative emotions, you need to control to the point of abuse, your need to gain power, your intensity, magnetism as well as sexual magnetism and your ability to make impossible happen - all categorised neatly labelled in one box of underworld demons - all repressed under social pressure never to ever see light of day.

Jupiter in Gemini was generous - said talk openly to me Pluto - I will elevate your darkness to a higher purpose. Your drive will serve a purpose, your anger and your need to control will also serve an elevated purpose. Demons let loose at large in the open light ready to seemingly take over the sacred Jupiter realm which expanded both the influence and somehow made us comfortable with being all we wanted. This created a verbal mind freak Frankenstein of a person which doesn’t fit the transitional Taurian mould does it. Demons roaming in light of day in Taurean light do not look pretty. Here comes the judgement and internal conflict. It’s always the first step of any real external change which would come when Mars Uranus will meet to swallow whole a part of our traditional set up on 15 July (week of). Uranus changes will never stick especially in Taurus (love, money, self worth, beauty) if Pluto our inner engineering is not disrupted. It somehow happens through a trauma but it does. Mars Uranus are suddenly earthquakey shifts which we would be gifted with every two years to change the surface of ground we stand so steady on in our financial world, in our love life, in our self concept, in our idea of what beautiful and what love is and what is worthy or not in our physical world. Pluto helps us dig something more meaningful than crypto gold by conflicting with the material or surface or vain value of this change. So called demons enrich us else we would all be bodies looking for something which would never satisfy the soul.

This need to feel something more than surface is what drives our demons out in the open creating the conflicts we would see this week. Need to have soul attached to a change, hunger for power attached to ambition, hunger control laced in love, edgey dark artist works enriched by emotions not socially accepted to be shown in light of day - they all make what we create now. It will conflict with some people’s values and idea of what “pretty” or “love” or “beauty” looks like and that people would be first you yourself. This is internal conflict, you are inflaming your own body by blocking a part of you - you have labelled as “demonic” due to what you were told cause Aquarian time had not come. Those demons would be normal in a progressive society but they are not today so what do we do this week - do we dress them up in socially acceptable clothing so we can take them out for dinner. If the Beast wears a three vested coat can he dance in a ball with Belle. When you love despite the fear is that deeper than Taurean physical relaxed love or just toxic intensity of forbidden fruit. When you create from a place of trauma and damage is that you being honest in art or just spewing your dysfunction to masses. When you put your foot down to control your ideas and assets instead of freely sharing with traditional institutions are your being a recluse or are you breaking the hierarchy of old institutional structures. When your almost teenage daughter starts looking at black mascara is she acting up or just trying to express her not so nice girl which later can come out in more damaging ways. Perfection in beauty is the most repressive thing in the world - any very symmetrical Libran family can vouch for that. The glossed over, airbrushed, filtered images have made us believe anything else is not pretty. Damage is concealed. Though may be we shouldn’t be looking for soul on tik tok.

That brings me to the point. Are you looking for depth in wrong places. My father once said and he has never been wrong, your profession and passion may never be the same and should not be. He never said to not pursue them both but the concept of it - wanting one thing to be everything. The beast had to turn into the prince for happy ending. Aquarian age solutions might be different - blessing is we have a choice in today’s day and age to possibly pursue both. That’s what Gemini season and Sun Saturn is for - making those new or multi prong approach to get what you want to come to solid life. So first step is to give yourself grace in anger this week when you feel this intensity within yourself of being dissatisfied that traditional ways aren’t giving you the satisfaction of the soul, they were not designed for it - their concept will change overtime as Uranus adds more liberal views and freedom of thought to them. Observe the source of dissatisfaction and see if there are other outlets for the passion which doesn’t make one thing everything. Mars Pluto has the power to move mountains - you could change people’s mind - crypto is everything money, wild passion should be daily part of marriage with a stable not violent human being, you can wear goth make up in your 60s and it would still be cute, billionaires can be quickly made without nefarious plans or having one programmed for power and comfortable with the dark, popular art needs to be as complicated as this article - it wont happen it doesn’t. So we do both we have pop astrology and we have real talk. One makes money and one hopefully feeds the soul, duality of Gemini Jupiter makes us open to more than one options to help our demons run free and give them life to feed us. Can you feed off it and create something meaningful and lucrative both. Accepting that part of what you do would be profession and part would be passion.

That’s the thing with demons - once they have been shown light of day, they get over themselves and transform over time. Whether you verbalise them with help of Jupiter and Mercury in Gemini - I need this, I would like this, I would put my foot down for this, I need ambition, I need more, I need more passion, I need a bit of drama, I need a bit of this which I know is not socially accepted but it is what it is. You will find a way to express it - thats what Gemini season is for and thats what this year of Jupiter in Gemini is for. We should be physically careful but repression of whats coming out of you is not the answer. There is a reason Jupiter held hands with Pluto taking it out in the light. Cause that place where you hid everything away also had your personal power. They call it kundalini release for a reason.

Writing this article has given me a migraine hopefully someone reads it and it can bring comfort to atleast one self condemning person. (Sorry for spelling mistakes, cant edit it I cant see anymore due to ocular migraine)

Love Charu ♥️

#astrology #horoscope #weeklyhoroscope

[leedee013]

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 7 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 ILU have fun!!!!

AFTG ask game

I LOVE YOU TOO MWAH

all my answers are going to be under the "read more" because hoo boy.

When did you first read aftg?

I first read AFTG by listening to the first audiobook while riding around the bus and trains in Germany, then Seth died, I immediately needed to finish the series, and then I read the entire series in less than 48 hours rifp.

2. All For The Game or The Sunshine Court?

All For the Game. The Sunshine Court is about my son, Jean, but also... because he's my son I have a lot of points where I simply like what I wrote better! and a fair number of complaints with TSC, since a lot of the way Jean's trauma rears its head is far less realistic than how Neil's trauma rears its head.

3. Favourite scene(s)?

I won't lie, one of my favorite scenes is when Neil gets back from his father's home and the Foxes all sleep on the floor together. I'm a huge sucker for found family and hurt/comfort and MAN that scene ticked off all my boxes. It's the one that I'll actually go back every now and then to reread. Wymack's joke about "Wesninski" and that feeling of finally having a family gets to me literally every time. And blah blah yeah I also really love the mentality of Andrew dragging Wymack behind him as he crashes through everything just so he can get back to Neil's side.

4. If you could choose to make one fictional place from the books real, which one?

That place they go to when they get ice cream/milkshakes before going to Eden's Twilight! It sounds amazing

5. A character you think deserves to be more present in the books?

Hngh this is difficult because I do believe that, at least as far as AFTG goes (aka excluding TSC) the characters are all as present as they need to be. Neil is very tunnel-visioned, and I think that it's a solid amount of screentime for each character, so to say. Like my first thought was Seth, but it wouldn't have fit Neil's character for Seth to haunt him at all. Therefore, I think overall I'd liked to have seen more of Jean for purely selfish reasons. Also more Renee!

6. A non-canon ship you love?

Jean/Renee, Jean/Jeremy, Jean/Kevin, Renee/Riko, and then any mix and match of those characters in throuples/quoples/poly ships! I'm also a big fan of Dan/Renee because woooo enemies to lovers?

7. A part of the extra content you whole-heartedly agree with

Andreil never say "I love you" or get married. Also that Dan gets to take over the Foxes when Wymack retires. Also Sir and King but like. Who doesn't agree with that.

8. A crackship/crackships you've come to love

Rinee (Riko/Renee), I adore it so much okay. I love the healing energy of it all and also the way that Renee attracts the most strange and unhinged people to her.

9. Underrated aftg fanartist / fic writer (tag them!)(link if they're not on tumblr)

well obviously @capcavan @jtl-fics and @emry-stars-art can never be OVERrated. But I think the true underrated AFTG fanartist is @noomyart <3

10. A villain you think is fucking hot

well. uh. villain I guess would be Nathan. Antagonist? Riko

11. A side character you love and/or appreciate

NICKY, I love him so much. Also Renee. And Dan. And Matt. I'm so mad I can't just say Jean anymore since he's not really a side character anymore GAH

12. Favourite narrative foil?

I adore the Riko/Neil narrative foil. Both the sons that were not wanted, both having their lives attached to Exy and using it as a way to solidify their freedom/independence, while Neil had someone who tried to save him and Riko could only ever try to save himself.

13. Favourite narrative symbolism?

In general my favorite narrative symbolism are the keys; how they unlock opportunities for Neil; how they are signs of trust that others put in him; how they are something I don't think he ever thought he'd have (solidity/a home). I also love how much symbolism they hold for him, as well.

14. A character you would actually get along with in real life

Nicky (we'd bond over escaping our parents by running to Germany and using each other as an excuse to practice German) or Matt (because he's chill he's fun and he reminds me a lot of some of my actual friends from college).

15. A character you love but would deck in real life

Neil lmao

16. How did you even get here?? How did you discover AFTG?

I was browsing the Banana Fish tag and saw a post that was like "hey! do you wish that you had a series that was everything you loved about Banana Fish but with way more of Eiji pole-vaulting? then you should check out All for the Game for its mafia-infused sports anime vibes! and huzzah I haven't gotten off the hook yet

17. Would you play exy?

I feel like I'd be pretty good at it if I'd put my mind to it. It seems like fun and also I'm a bit of a masochist so I think the rougher plays would be really fun!

18. A fancast you will never let go of

Tbh I don't really have a fancast for any of the characters

19. A fancast you love that is super silly

I did see a guy the other day who made me double take and go KEVIN???? in my head if that counts

20. Which character would be the last to die in a actual zombie apocalypse?

Probably Renee tbh because she's unsuspecting, can broker peace between people who are fighting, and has absolutely no issue wielding and using knives in fights.

21. Would andrew minyard have beef with you?

Idk I feel like we'd vibe really well but wouldn't necessarily be close. He might get annoyed at how go-with-the-flow I am, though

22. Hyperspecific aro and or ace kevin headcanon?

I enjoy these headcanons and seeing people write them but I personally don't ever write him as either aro or ace. All the power to those who do though <3

23. Something you are very sure will happen in TSC2

Trojans win and 2. Jean meets the Foxes again before/after a game and it's emotional

24. Nicky or Allison? (Character wise and personality wise seperate)

I'm biased but Nicky. I relate way too hard to his story to not be biased here. But also I relate heavily to Allison and love her as well. I think she's also a lot more underappreciated out of the two, and gets a lot of unfair hate.

25. You're now only allowed to ship Kevin with one person (1) who is it?

man you're really out here discriminating against me and my poly ship here /t, but if it's only one person then I'd say Jean because again, I'm biased.

26. A 2000s song any one/ship/group of character would listen to

I feel like Andrew would secretly adore Lady Gaga's Poker Face and know all the lyrics even if he'd never sing along.

27. A detail or element from an older draft you would've loved to see in the final draft

LMAO so. I'm personally a fan of the version where Riko shot Kevin because Neil dodged/Kevin dove in front of him. I don't think I would have swapped the ending that we got for it instead, but I did think that it would have been an interesting change.

Also Riko and Kevin with longer hair

28. If you had to kill a fox. (Seth doesnt count.)

Aaron, because oh boy that poor medical student is probably already begging for some anvil to drop on him from the heavens

Question 29 for jean! Name a favorite Jean dialogue/quote

All of them because Jean is my favorite but also I think I'm going to go with "I will endure. I will endure. I will endure" because it's the first one I found while flipping through my copy of TSC and skimming for lines I thought were powerful. A classic is "Did a week away from the court damage your ball-battered brain?" (TSC 24), though. And then of course, as a Jeanee fan, the entire conversation between Jean and Renee on pages 68-69 where they talk about finding the joy in small things in life and taking a chance on himself and and

anyway hello thank you for coming to my TED talk

[maul-of-shame]

x.com/originalhopeful/status/1856771358501323091 'as she will have a husband to focus on' I'm going to throw up 🤢

Oh, come on nOW—what is this? Elrond’s romantic training wheels?

As if he’s just fumbling around like a lovesick teenager waiting for “the real deal” to finally show up so he can gracefully step aside.

The idea that Elrond and others are just "placeholders" for Celeborn is frankly hilarious—and kind of insulting to every character involved!

Elrond’s dynamic with Galadriel isn’t some teenage crush waiting to fizzle out the second her “real” husband walks in; it’s a deep, layered bond based on years of shared history, mutual respect, and trust. Elrond is hardly sitting around, mooning over Galadriel until she finds her “actual” husband, as if he’s some unripe puppy who’ll eventually get shooed out of the way. He’s a centuries-old, seasoned diplomat with his own identity, ambitions, and a hell of a lot to bring to the table.

And as for Adar and Halbrand? They’re not just part of some revolving door of flirtation around Galadriel; each of these men has their own story and relevance to her journey. Halbrand’s dynamic with Galadriel has little to do with romance and much more to do with moral conflict, deception, and the struggle between light and darkness. And Adar? Please. He’s part of a narrative about revenge, forgiveness, and the complicated consequences of war.

To reduce them to mere placeholders for Celeborn is to wildly misinterpret the point of their stories.

IF (AND THAT'S A BIG IF) Celeborn ever does appear, he’ll have a huge task ahead of him to fit into the intricate relationships and bonds Galadriel has already formed. This isn’t some easy “step in and claim your wife” arc.

The writers would need to craft his character as carefully as they have with Elrond, Celebrimbor, Gil-galad, and others who have supported and challenged Galadriel in meaningful, transformative ways. Celeborn can’t just breeze in as a “husband” like he’s won a prize. In fact, bringing him in without acknowledging the strength of these other relationships would do a disservice to Galadriel’s entire character journey and the intricate world-building that the show has developed around her.

Every time someone insists that Galadriel just needs to be “focusing on her husband,” it reveals the core problem here: it’s not about Galadriel’s character, it’s about reducing her to a convenient “wife” role to tick a box in some warped vision of “canon compliance.”

Galadriel is a complex character, with fierce independence, layered trauma, and a remarkable resilience—and tethering her to a static, watered-down relationship with Celeborn just to appease some notion of “original text accuracy” is about as disrespectful to her character as it gets.

This isn’t about honoring Tolkien; it’s about some people needing to shoehorn a love interest back into her life at any cost, even if it steamrolls the depth and complexity she’s developed.

The writers have given her a beautifully nuanced journey with figures like Elrond, who stands as an equal and understands her in ways that few others can. The insistence that she should just “focus on her husband” is not only dismissive of Galadriel’s autonomy and personal growth but downright reductive.

Why should her character be shackled to someone who adds nothing to her story as it’s currently evolving? It’s an insult to everything she’s been shown to overcome, reducing her down to some sort of prize that needs to be “won back” by a “husband” who’s been AWOL and, at this point, irrelevant to her current reality.

They’re not interested in Galadriel as a person; they’re interested in the comfort of seeing her married off.

They just don't want her with someone who genuinely loves her.

They want to reel her in, bind her to this bland, uninspired “husband” archetype, and neatly stow her character away. But the strength of her arc lies in her independence, her fierce loyalty to her principles, and her relationships with those who actively shape her journey forward, not in checking a box labeled “husband.” They’re bending backward for the idea of Celeborn, not the actual character that’s unfolding onscreen, and that is, frankly, a betrayal of Galadriel’s development.

She deserves to be seen in her full, vibrant complexity, not made into a vessel for someone else’s flimsy idea of “canon.”

[alterhumansafespace]

Hello there! This is the Alterhuman Safe Space account. I’m here to answer whatever questions I can and support those who need a shoulder to cry on. Currently this account is only ran by one person so I may not be able to full understand some experiences, but I won’t turn anyone away because of it.

I hope to post asks, and teach the terminology of the community, teach others about the community, and provide a safe space for those who don’t fit in the social norms. That is the primary goal of this account.

This account will block those who’re unacceptably hateful and rude. This is for main account runner and any potential other runners of the account’s safety and mental health. Hate speech against people of color, the LGBTQ+, alterhumans, furries, and others are considered unacceptable under any circumstances.

This is a 13+ safe blog, though there may be some swearing depending on which runner is speaking.

Rules for Asks:

1. Respect the account and whoever runs it as those who run it are still living beings. If you don’t like something, feel free to block or not interact.

2. Don’t put your name in the ask box. This is to protect yourself. This does mean you can ask anonymously if it feels more comfortable for you.

3. This account will understand constructive criticism and will fix any mistakes on the blog. Either by doing an update post, or by reblogging the new information.

4. If you have a request, feel free to DM this account instead of sending an ask. This can include identities, shift types, or other topics like sexualities. Just remember this is primarily a blog for alterhumans in the end and our primary content will be for those of that demographic.

5. Please don’t flirt with anyone on this account. It’s not cute or funny and will be considered as harassment if it’s continuous. You get a single warning before you’re put on a do not answer list.

6. Don’t be afraid to tell the blog your own experiences and alterhuman identities! We are accepting of pretty much any and all identities (Unless it’s genuinely harmful to others).

7. Please read the account runners’ introductions as they will give you a name, pronouns, and emoji tag to refer to them in asks and pms. It will also let you know what identities are on and off the table to ask about. This does include nonhuman identities, but again, try to stay on the alterhuman topic.

Main Account Runner:

My name is Saiph (pronounced as Safe) and I’m 21 years old. I use He/They pronouns.

I’ve been awakened for around a year, but possibly awakened longer than that without knowledge of the therian/otherkin community for about 2-3. I identify primarily as otherkin for simplicity, but I’m also fictionkin, copingkin and trying to figure out if my copinglink is more of a kith/hearttype.

Other things to note are that I have ADHD and autism with my special interests being dnd, dragons, stars, deities, and mythology. My hobbies include drawing, crocheting, reading, writing and music.

I’m one person who will swear on this account.

Any of my non-alterhuman identities are on the table to ask about. But pushing into traumas that may be identified with them are not at all ok to ask about.

You’re free to ask me details about any and all of my alterhuman identities.

My identities not related to alterhumanity:

White, Trans Man, Demiboy, Omniromantic, Demiaroace, Androsexual, Ambiamorous, Furry, beginner witch

My alterhuman Identities specifically being:

Otherkin- I’m dragonkin. I tend to equate it primarily with western dragons despite my kintype also having fur. The scales are dark, but look as if they captured the night sky within them. It’s eyes are a cool silver color with black sclerae the horns capturing nebulae.

Shifts~ Mental shifts, emotional shifts, perception shifts, phantom shifts, astral shifts, aura shifts, bi-locational shifts, spiritual shifts

No currently known shift triggers or grounding methods. I tend to push through the negative shifts with this and remind myself that I am physically a human.

Fictionkin- I am a fictionkin of Julian Devorak from the game “The Arcana A Mystic Romance”. This is my oldest known alterhuman identity.

Shifts~ Emotional shifts, mental shifts, minor phantom shifts (mostly clothing/figure/hair when it’s a good shift. Negative shifts include me looking like his reversed form, or taking on aspects of it)

One shift trigger happens if I let my hair grow out or I dye my hair auburn. Though those cause positive shifts. Negative shift triggers aren’t fully known yet as it’s normally too late when I am trying to figure it out. No known grounding for the negative shifts as my emotions are way too high and may need to sleep the feelings off.

Copingkin- This one was figured out very recently, but I’m a Fenrirkin. This is one of my less shifty alterhuman identities, but when I do they’re not all that pleasant.

Shifts~ Minor phantom shifts, emotional shifts, bi-locational shifts, perception shifts, to be further figured out

Normally the shift triggers happen when I’m in a heightened emotional state, so normally I almost always have an emotional shift up. My perception of reality gets kinda messed up as my coping kin basically embodies the emotions of betrayal and suspicion of authority/humans. I do get minor phantom shifts of chains whenever I wear a choker. The worst of these shifts include me wanting to bite into my hand, primarily the right hand, as hard as I can. There are no known full on grounding methods. I believe talking out my emotions is the only way known right now to ground myself. Either that, or give into the need to bite into my hand as hard as I can.

⚠️This identity for me is primarily a negative experience during shifts. As much as it might sound cool to have a copingkin of Fenrir, for me it’s not exactly sunshine and rainbows most of the time.⚠️

Copinglink- Anatolian Shepherd/Saint Bernard mix is my copinglink. I’m trying to figure out if this is a kith/hearttype as I ado feel a familial bond with the two breeds

Shifts~ Minor phantom shifts, mental shifts, sensory shifts, perception shifts

I originally linked onto and started identifying as a generalized overview of medium and large sized dogs due to a pretty nasty breakup. My loving style is that of a dog and so are my behaviors when I’m hurt but I’m not feeling like turning it on myself. It was an identity to cope with everything going on at the time. As of the current moment it may be copingkith as I don’t identify myself with either breed, but I can feel the connection of what they were bred to do and the overall mannerisms of dogs shift triggers normally happen when I’m feeling like I’m in survival mode. There’s no grounding needed as eventually it goes away and isn’t detrimental to my physical health.

Questioning- Raven and/or crow kith/hearttype

Shifts~ None, I just have a very familial connection with them. So no shift triggers or grounding for shifts of these creatures

Sign of tag> 🐉

[kelofmindelan]

tagged by @full---ofstarlight and @maryxoliver for this “people you’d like to know better” tag game! ty for the tag :3c

Three Ships:

Jason Grace and Nico di Angelo from the Heroes of Olympus: This is one of those ships that just itches the right part of my brain. Jason Grace is one of my favorite characters ever, and his quest to try and balance his need to be a leader and a protector with his desire to be allowed to be an individual is so interesting to contrast with Nico who by this point is so firmly himself. But Nico has been hurt a lot and assumes he will never be trusted, even as Jason is trying to insist that he is someone who matters to their group and is trusted. So Nico decides to test him - in a dangerous moment, holding something the rest of the group thinks is poison, Nico holds the glass to Jason and says 'How much do you trust me?" And Jason looks him dead in the eye and drinks it no hesitation. Because his own life matters less than showing Nico is worthy of trust. They are sun and shadow, sky and earth, storm and death, they are the golden boy and the outcast. It's a delicious ship and it feeds me.

Fanfic rec: Dungeons and Jason by betsib

Taran and Eilonwy of Llyr from The Chronicles of Prydain: They are everything to me. They are the blueprint. You have friends to lovers, you have battle couple, you have princess and the farm boy, you have two people who genuinely want to find ways to improve themselves in order to be more worthy of the other person while also finding ways to grow together. They argue constantly, but there is so much love under it that is there from the very beginning because both of them are trying to navigate having to learn how to communicate with someone else. They are my ship that I have created a thousand aus for and will test any new au I discover for how well I can fit them into it because if they don't fit I probably don't like it that much.

Fanfic rec: I wrote two oneshots but also anything by Saeriellyn is incredible

Pacifica Northwest and Dipper Pines from Gravity Falls: My friends tease me about loving a sad rich girl and they aren't wrong, so I felt kind of targeted by Pacifica's arc in season 2 of Gravity Falls because it made her so exactly my type. Particularly in the way we start to see her grow out of it. She and Dipper have each seen each other at their worst which means they don't have to worry about the shields anymore and can push each other into growing and unpacking their own traumas and bad habits. But also we start to get all these hints that she can actually relate to him at his nerdiest once she has permission to do so, and I love that he can find someone who can operate at his level while she finds someone who gives her permission to be so much less than perfect and thus actually real.

Fanfic rec: The Worst Neighbor Ever by Proseandsongs

Last Film:

The Hobbit (1977): I found this streaming and was absoltuely delighted to watch it this morning. I have so many fond memories of this movie and it did not disappoint. The animation is wild, Bilbo spends the whole movie throwing massive shade, Gollum looks like an absolute nightmare, and it's a musical the way it should be.

Currently Watching:

My roommate and I are about to finish up Mentopolis on Dimension 20 and I'm losing my mind a little bit over how this season is going. I can't wait to see how it resolves!

My writing shows at the moment are The Great British Bake Off Holiday Specials, The Christmas Cookie Challenge, and my annual rewatch of Midsomer Murders.

Currently Reading:

Nothing really because most of my books are still in boxes and I haven't had the spoons to start unpacking them while I still have that hole in my wall. I'm dipping in and out of this Rick Riordan Presents collection called The Cursed Carnival, but it's my current work book.

Currently Consuming:

I have a bunch of leftover pumpkin pie and I just had a huge slice of that along with some tea called 'Cold Comfort'.

Currently Craving:

A yule log. One of those fancy chocolate swirled sponges with cream in the middle and fancy decorations that is actually made well and that I don't have to attempt to bake myself.

Or a whole bunch of different fancy eclairs. I want to try all the eclairs.

(Yes. I am watching baking shows I want all the things.)

tagging: @aidanchaser @stolenmelody @starrattlerofprydain @bookwyrm-of-the-emerald-star @givemonetatry

[glitchdollmemoria]

once again beginning this with a disclaimer that i experience disorganized thinking and i dont think my wording really does justice to the thoughts i have on this topic, but im doing my best here, so my hot take of the day is i dont think its the most important thing in the world to tease out aromanticism and asexuality from trauma responses, and i think that trying to fit everything into boxes can cause more distress than it soothes.

i am NOT saying one shouldnt address trauma and work to heal from it. that is incredibly important and i will always be a loud supporter of healing from trauma and supporting trauma survivors. i am ALSO not saying that being aspec is inherently tied to trauma - aromanticism and asexuality are completely normal aspects of existence and they dont need to be tied to a "reason", just the same as any other queer identity.

personally speaking: i have a lot of trauma around intimate relationships. i am also on both the aromantic and asexual spectrums. looking back at my childhood, i think those aspec identities have always been a part of me, but i also have no way to know for sure if my trauma has amplified them. am i (usually, not always) deeply uncomfortable with and even afraid of people being attracted to me because of my intrinsic lack of reciprocation, or is it because of the way ive been hurt by people who were attracted to me? is my degree of romance- and sex-repulsion inherent to my being or a result of trauma? trick questions! the answers are unknowable and i dont have the time or energy to keep trying to know.

the unfortunate truth of trauma is that no matter how much you heal, no matter how far past it you move, traumatic events will always be a part of your personal history. i dont know if ive ever heard of a single person who can go back to who they were before a traumatic event. and especially when that trauma occurs during youth, its going to have an impact on the way your brain functions, the way you maneuver through life, and that includes intimate relationships. and thats okay! the goal with trauma treatment shouldnt be some lofty aspiration of forgetting what you went through, it should be learning how to manage the effects of your trauma, learning how to continue to find joy in life and minimize the hurt from what happened to you, and learning how to handle the situations when you DO feel that hurt.

and personally, it helps me more to embrace my aromanticism and asexuality and celebrate those parts of my identity, rather than treating them as symptoms of trauma and trying to force myself to engage in relationships that only end up hurting me worse. it does not serve me to constantly question whether my feelings on romance and sex are intrinsic or caused by external factors, because that isn't going to change those feelings and i dont really WANT to change those feelings. if treating my trauma leads to me no longer identifying as aspec, then thats cool, but its not what im seeking out. if i try to force myself to be allo, i will only further traumatize myself.

its okay to be traumatized. its okay to be aspec. its okay to be both. its okay to not where one ends and the other begins. its okay if you dont CARE where the boundary lies, as long as youre doing what you need to to take care of yourself. its okay to use aro and ace labels if you feel like they describe you, and its okay to stop using those labels if they stop benefitting you. its cool. its chill. focus on your own comfort and boundaries and happiness, and do what you need to do for your own wellbeing.

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

can we have more callista,comet,and andromada interactionns?

This trio is damn near inseparable when they meet. Andromeda and Callisto see a bit of their respective brothers in each other. Comet just sees two big brothers and he loves them both (this little guy fits so much love in him).

Callisto probably tells Andromeda that he can use him as a replacement for his Moon. Andromeda probably tells Callisto that he can use him as a replacement for Circinus. Both end up cuddling and crying with Comet helping comfort them.

They retract these offers because they're so different from their respective brothers that imagining their own brothers in each other hurts. Meda and Callie are still inseparable, they're each other's comfort person with Comet being their supportive baby brother.

Comet helps Andromeda with his tech just like he does with Moon. Callisto watches in awe at the things Meda makes. When he meets Pluto and the other planets (tiny floating moon model helpers), he immediately loves them.

Andromeda's planet bots regularly follow Comet and Callisto around. They follow Sun, Moon, and Lunar too, but these little guys just absolutely love Callie and Comet and they know full well their parental figure is uber attached to these two so they must follow and rub on them and love them.

To be fair, Meda has nine of his tiny floaty bots. Pluto loves Callisto, Neptune loves Comet, Saturn follows Moon, Jupiter follows Sun, and Mars follows Lunar. Venus gets sent to Good Eclipse/Sirius as a little helper and also so he has a friend, even if it's a tiny floating robot with a squeaky voice box.

Uranus follows the blood twins, yes Blood makes fun of their name constantly. Mercury resides within Eclipse's lab. Eclipse has tried to get rid of her, it never works. Nothing he does works and he's just accepted this tiny planet as a helper. There's not much he can do about it.

Earth follows him around, occasionally jetting off into the rafters to watch from above. Earth is a shy little planet and he doesn't like large crowds so he hides in Andromeda's clothes or in the rafters or in the balcony rooms.

Callisto can be found cuddling up with Comet and Andromeda, even when they aren't in the same universe, he will dimension hop to see them if he ever meets them and they get separated afterwards. Nobody can stop him from visiting his new brothers, not even dimensional travel.

Comet regularly has to comfort them from self-hatred surrounding them being the sole causes of their respective brothers' deaths. They have cuddle piles to cry about this very thing on a weekly basis and assure each other that 'it's okay, their brothers wouldn't blame them'.

Comet also needs these weekly cuddle piles because his trauma surrounding death and controlled shocks. He can't stand the sight of blood but children inevitably find ways to hurt themselves in the daycare and he has flashbacks to the night he was activated and he'll start panicking remembering all the controlled shocks.

They drag the Sun, Moon, and Lunar into the cuddle pile and force them into cuddle pile therapy.

[mattmurdocksscars]

happy i love amanda day!! ❤️

i've dropped by your ask box to talk about back from the dead if that's ok?

when i finished the series i got to thinking about way you wrote matt - i loved the whole fic from start to finish, but one of my favourite things was that this is the matt i always imagine when i'm writing fics or daydreaming, one who is (eventually) capable of a stable relationship, one who wants a family - a matt who can find some balance in his life - can you tell me about what inspired your story and why you chose to write matt in that way? do you think he'd make a good dad and what about him makes you think that? do you have any plans to write anymore about matt and sweetheart in the future?

thank you for sharing their story with us, it really was a joy to read!

So the inspiration of the story came from me being pregnant. Go figure, right? I was deep in my Matt feels and I just got to thinking, "what would happen if I put him in this scenario?" I knew it would be an incredible challenge for him and I wanted to write that. I honestly thought Back From The Dead would only be a couple of parts. Certainly not 10 chapters.

As for why I wrote Matt the way I did, I just fully believe him capable of a stable relationship, as long as he's with someone who understands his nightly habits. This is a man who wants, so desperately, to love and be loved. So, yes, I do think he's completely capable of a loving, stable relationship. I think at the end of season 3, we see a Matt who's had to learn that he needs a balance in his life. That he can be both lawyer and vigilante, if he has the support he needs.

So that's where Sweetheart comes in. She's been with him for some time and knows how he is. She's hurt that he would hide himself from her, let her think he was dead, but she also knows Matt's demons. Intimately. This isn't a new relationship. She's aware of the trauma he's been through and aware of the fight he faces every single day.

And I think that's why they work. Sweetheart helps keep him balanced and she knows how to comfort and take care of him. And vice versa. He knows every single thing about her as well.

I think Matt would make an incredible dad. He would, at first, be so scared and so worried he's going to mess things up. But once he gets that fear under control (cause it never goes away. Trust me), he's going to be incredible. He knows when the baby is hungry, needs a change, or just needs to be held. He's so perceptive to their cry, that he just knows what they need based on that alone. He's supportive and loving and so, so good with children. He listens to them like he would any adult and that always garners their trust.

As for plans to write more, yes I do. I want to write an epilogue for them at some point. Give yall a glance into their future. It'll probably be snapshots of different times. I don't want to give too much away, but I think yall will enjoy it.

I'm also open to doing one shots of them. If any of you ever have anything you're curious about (how they met, their first date, their first fight, sweetheart finding out about daredevil, etc.), please feel free to ask! I love those two so very much.

Thanks so much for this ask, Mindi! I'm glad I could write a Matt who fit so well for you 💖

[valiant-if]

Hi! I'm already in love with this story! 🥺🥺 Can't wait to read more!

Can I ask 💖 for ROs? Thank you!

Hi, anon! I hope this hasn't been sitting in my ask box too long as it's been a few days since I checked!

I'm so glad you are enjoying the story. 🧡 I can't wait to share more of it.

💖 - Has your OC ever been in love, be it romantic or platonic or otherwise? Who with and did they ever express their feelings or keep it private? How long did these feelings persist / do they still feel this way?

Anton - Anton can sometimes love pretty easily and deeply, so he's been in a few relationships in the past, mostly with people he grew up around or worked closely with. None of them ever really panned out for one reason or another, and those feelings have long since faded. I would also argue that Anton and Switch share a kind of platonic love, unspoken but there. In the (potential) poly route with Anton and Switch, that love can turn into a romantic one, but there's definitely a platonic love between them regardless. When it comes to romantic love, Anton isn't really the type to intentionally keep his feelings private. If the circumstances are appropriate, he's comfortable expressing his feelings. With platonic love, he doesn't necessarily feel like anything needs to be said.

Switch - As above, platonic love shared between her and Anton, unspoken and, in her case, probably unaware. Besides that, Switch has never been in love. She has a military background that made it difficult for her to get close to people in any meaningful ways. Aside from that, though, she's a very private person and not very good at expressing emotions that she thinks will make her seem "weak" in the eyes of others. Any kind of hypothetical confession from her would not come easily.

Zero - She has had some instances of unrequited love, one of which was a childhood friend that she confessed her feelings to and got turned down, and the other of which was a colleague that she never expressed her feelings to because of her familial ties. In general, Zero is very free with her emotions and expressions of love, but she has grown a little reserved when it comes to confessions of love, specifically in a romantic sense. Some of that has to do with lingering gender dysphoria and some of it to do with her family ties complicating matters. Her feelings of love for those people don't still persist, but she does often wonder what could have been if things had been different.

Path - Although it's easier for me to answer "no" to this question for Path, the more accurate answer would be that he has actively pushed away any feelings of romantic love any time he started to feel them. Path is demiromantic, so it takes time for him to develop feelings anyway, but the pushing away of those feelings is a trauma response that he is more than aware of and still not sure how to get over (if he even wants to). In that respect, he doesn't express his feelings and doesn't feel them long because he actively suppresses them.

Kiran - If there's anyone who fits the oblivious trope among the cast, it's Kiran. They've never been in love and would have trouble recognizing love if it hit them in the face like a sack of bricks. Love is something that has very much eluded Kiran his whole life. Emotional detachment is probably the biggest reason for that. Really, emotional detachment is the biggest conflict of their personal arc and an even bigger one if any romance plot is pursued with her.

Yulia - As the oldest in the cast, you might think Yulia has the most experience with love, but she doesn't. Oh, she's been in many relationships before, but none where she was ever deeply in love with her partners. In all cases, her partner wanted more from the relationship than Yulia was willing to give. She's a bit of a workaholic and hard to get close to, but she could easily fall in love with someone who respects her boundaries and investment into her work.

Hex - Hex probably has the most experience with love out of anyone in the cast. He's very comfortable with who he is and what he likes, which translates into confidence that makes it easy for him to get close to people. He also has a pretty easygoing attitude about people and their differences, which translates into him being open-minded and even celebrating differences and similarities alike. I wouldn't necessarily say he falls in love easily, but he certainly doesn't let anything get in the way of him catching feelings for someone, so he's been in love quite a few times. He's also very comfortable with expressing that love and sees no need to hide it. Most notably, he was in love with a man that he worked with very early on in his career, but they decided to part ways due to difficulties created by their constant travel (which is pretty much how most of Hex's relationships end, serious or not). He still holds love for that person, but he feels that temporary loves and relationships have their place in a person's life, so he doesn't harbor any bitterness or regret about the relationship having ended.

A2 - When A2 falls in love, she does so deeply and fully. That being said, she has a hard time getting close to people because of her personality and has only been in love once before. The relationship ended on a bad note, which pretty much erased any lingering feelings of love she otherwise might have had. As an added side effect, she hasn't exactly been open to finding another relationship any time soon. A2 isn't the type to confess feelings of love unless she's absolutely fucking sure about it, so she's likely to keep feelings of love private for a long time before they are out in the open.

Thanks for the ask, anon!

[monterraverde]

Goodbye Paldea, my temporary home.

She wasn't expecting to become thick as family with Red and Giovanni, and she was fully prepared to have to make this move on her own... Until they quickly offered to help her move everything into the new house.

A small little cottage on the outskirts of saffron with marshland practically in her back yard... Sure it was a bit of a fixer-upper, needed some renovations on the walls and floors, but it was structurally sound, built to withstand earthquakes and the like, and the renovation project would give her goals to work on... And a new job lined up with Sabrina and Silph Co. to start as soon as she got settled.

It almost seemed surreal, that this is what this whole excursion spawned... what was just a vacation quickly turned into a life changing adventure... One that was still ongoing, all things considered.

Packing only enough for a weeks stay, the group caught the next plane to Paldea, 15 hours back and forth was going to be a pain in the ass, especially with the boxes they were going to eventually be carrying... And the entire way there, despite her sleeping most of it, it was obvious how anxious she was becoming... She needed to have so many conversations, and she knew there was going to be tears, and anger, and people trying to get her to stay.

Red and Giovanni were gonna have to deal with her being a hot mess for a little while longer... She wondered why they put up with her for so long to begin with, but... She was happy they were here.

When they arrived at the house, the first thing she noticed was the overpowering smell of alcohol and bleach- Right, Giovanni mentioned he had cleaned the place before he left, but she hadn't expected it to feel like a HOSPITAL when she got back... And her bedroom felt the same which-

Oh.... Oh he cleaned in there too didn't he?

Oh no...

Welp, that's an embarrassment she'll never get rid of.

Better get to work before she can think on it too much-

------

Leaving the Elite brought a heavy pain, swearing in her replacement brought even more... and when all was said and done, she left with grace and dignity, and broken hearts in her wake... The way Poppy and Hassel all started bawling as she left would sit on her conscience for ages, and when she comes back to the house that day, she cries... For several hours. It's hard, leaving everything behind, leaving everyone you love behind.

But this has never been home... Just windows and rooms and a roof- and trauma, so much trauma...

She's never quite okay afterword, but the packing is swiftly finished, the house in Los Platos finally sold, and the key for the one in the desert cloned, one given to Bella, so she'd always have a place to come home too in Paldea if they ever came back.

Clothes, old electronics, decorations, curios, bedding, pillows, everything crammed into boxes that was light enough to carry by one person. The furniture would be left alone, no sense in trying to haul that cross continents. Shipping the boxes, she washed her hands of it... Locking the door one last time as they proceeded back to the airport in Porta Marinada

Another 15 hour flight later, and the ordeal didn't weigh any less heavy... The new house was small, enough for a single family to live comfortably, and all her things she opted to bring fit neatly inside.

She'd start sourcing materials for the renovation projects in the morning, and buying new furniture and appliances... For now, she sleeps.

Welcome to Kanto, Trainer, seize your own happiness.