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tiens-letters · 4 years

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upon autumns day, where you and I met. upon autumns day where I remember all of what we were before youve passed. and upon autumns day would I have ever so slowly let go of that pain of the past

zhongli (angst)

@albeidoof its somewhere here hehehe

Time was a luxury. A treasure each and everything holds.

Yet time is a curse as well. It covets, devours and leaves. which humanity neglects to cherish until the heart ceases its steady rythmn, only then do they regret of the wasted minutes, hours and seconds.

Beneath the flow of the rushing waves of things that have come and gone. Only on this particular day would he sit beneath a certain tree. The rough bark brushing up against his back as leaves fell effortlessly to the ground, as if it were ready to let go of from the branches that gave birth to it, only to return once again to the waiting soil.

It was a sunny afternoon, clear of any clouds and only clear unblemished blue, a good time to enjoy a warm cup of tea yet there was no energy in his bones to even move from where he was.

He felt exhausted. Desultory even.

Gone were the halcyon days of the past, and now the present time of the vivid reality he had to face.

Morax, rex lapis, the geo archon. Names that weighted more than one could carry, memories that shackled his soul that lived for a thousand years on end, all but a stain that could never be washed away.

The breeze slowly danced in, playing with his hair softly, kissing his skin and welcoming him. It carried a hint of aromatic essence only he would know belongs to.

You.

He tried to desperately recount the days after youve left the face of the earth and yet he could not remember or did his mind not allow him to as if he did, it would bring him terrible and heavy consequences for an answer, one sane mind would never want to know.

Sighing, he sat back and recalled back the memories of you instead. When you were alive, warm and breathing in his arms. He remembers the way your eyes would shine brightly whenever he would be around, or the small sound of delight you would make when you have finished another one of the many interesting blends of tea youve done over the course of a week of mixing different flowers and tea leaves. Youve made up quite the fortune with this as your little hobby bloomed into a fully run business known across teyvat.

"Zhongli." he froze, youve never called him by his name ever since youve started getting close, it made him feal uneasy as he turned to look at you who stood by the doorway, a neutral look on your face.

"y-yes?" nervousness clawed at him as he racked his brain to what he couldve done for you to call his name like that, he couldnt think of any.

"I came back from the market and I heard youve made quite the generous payment. Why is that, I wonder?" he's done it again, that spending habit of his

"The price was reasonable for such a fine ceramic tea set, I dont seem to find why it shouldnt reflect its quality?" you sighed as you pointed towards the glass cupboard behind him

"You bought the same exact set a week ago, Zhongli. Thats why." having to realize his mistake after looking over the two identical set that on the shelf, he turned to apologize but only to see you missing from the doorway. Footsteps can be heard from the floorboards above him. You were upset.

After minutes of pacing in the living room, he finally mustered the courage to climb the stairs and enter your shared bedroom. A figure already under the sheets as the warm glow of the lamp illuminated your delicate features. The mattress sunk as he sat beside you, fingers brushing away the stray hair that fell on your face.

"Im still mad at you Zhongli." his hand flinched slightly at the way you called him

"I apologize. I seem to not have learned my lesson again. I would gladly return the set tomorrow."

"Its no use, they dont accept refunds." you replied without sparing a glance at him

"What can I do for you to forgive me then?"

"Just go to sleep, Zhongli." groaning you reached for the switch to shut the lamp off but a gentle grip stopped you, forcing you to look at his gloomy expression. Perhaps you went too far this time.

"Please stop calling me in that way. I dont like it." he whispers, drawing your palm to his lips, leaving small kisses upon it. He sure does know his way around your heart, no wonder why you could not stay mad at him.

"Just be mindful next time." you cursed yourself for being weak to his charms.

"I will." yet something was missing "Then can you call me as you did before?"

"Zhongli?" you could see the slight grimace in his face as you teased him

"Stop it." he kissed you without warning "Call me as you did before."

However, his lips didnt stop as they began to travel. From your cheeks to you forehead and then to your neck. Oh dear, he wasnt having any of your teasing.

"A-li." you giggled beneath him as he finally stopped and met your gaze

"Thats better."

He still remembers the faint smile that graced your lips whenever he would wake up next to you tangled in the same sheets. The softness of your skin on his calloused touch. Your lips melting his and your voice lulling his raging mind to peace.

Then everything changed when you drew blood that spilled from those lips he's kissed for a thousand times, painting a morbid image on the sheets. Anger and despair boiled inside of him once he learned of the secret youve kept. Zhongli was a calm and collected man all of the time except when he was with you.

Having to witness him at such a point felt as if his own spear was being driven right through his very chest. He held you in an arms width away, the panic and pain in his eyes increasing over the minute as he begged for you to explain why youve decided to lie about the flowers that bloomed in your lungs, the sickness youve inherited from your deceased mother, whose fate you soon would follow. You didnt want him to find out, not in this way.

He couldve done anything if he knew from the start but alas, you wanted to be cruel, thinking it was for the best. Until your symptoms persisted, a heavy reminder of the remaining distance of the string you have to walk on to reach the end. The heavy feeling in your chest started to worsen as cherry sweet liquid poured from your mouth.

Soon the once pristine sheets were stained in haunting crimson shades as you heaved and he watched in agony. If only he had the ability of what he once had back then, if only he could plant the seeds of the flowers from yours to his then he would, if only he hadnt met you one autumn evening

" please dont look at me like that. " you told him, cold hands caressing his cheeks, catching the streams of salty warm beads that fell freely from your darling's amber eyes.

"Im sorry. Im so sorry..." the last thing you wanted to see was this man to cry. The last thing you wanted to see was to see him relive the past tragic memories you promised to bring him out of

" my disease has nothing to do with you. In the end it was mine alone to handle. oh, you are far from that so please dont you ever blame yourself."

"How can I not? If I havent fallen so deep then you would experienced so much more in life, you couldve been happier if you met someone else. Yet you chose me and I couldnt give you anything, I--. " the words knotted up as he began to shake, hands holding yours as knuckles turned to white

You slapped him.

With all the strength youve gathered in that fading body of yours. The sound cutting the grieving sounds that spilled from him, soul and flesh alike.

"A-li, look at me. Do I look like someone whose unsatisfied with what youve given me? Did my smile ever fade when Im with you? Did your affections ever lack? Answer me." his watery gaze met yours, a torrent of emotions swimming in them

"No. Never." a soft smile was carved unto your lips

"My dear, youve given me all Ive ever wanted in this life and I regret nothing of it."

To him, you were the flower that bloomed at the highest peak of the mountain he's never reached and yet its petals voluntarily detached and fell down, making him the happiest as one thing he's admired was untouchable and now, lay softly in the palm of his hands. To cherish and to protect.

But of course, all things are evanescent.

The familiar feeling of soreness that wasnt supposed to be there rose, ebbed and flowed through his throat. He knew it all too well, it was after he woke from his week long slumber did he feel it along with what his ancient beating heart felt.

"You collapsed." the worried words of the qixing echoed in his head. He frantically got up but as soon as his feet touched the floor did his legs give out underneath him, what use was he in this sorry state. He was helped up and sat back on the edge of the bed.

He wanted to ask many things yet was unable to.

Ningguang spoke as if you were still breathing and was visiting her minutes ago with another one of your tea blends. "Dont worry and rest first, go to jueyun karst after. They will be waiting."

To where the adepti resides, who as well, favored you, that one soul among thousands of others. One to which they shared a few good memories with was allowed to slumber there in peace.

Zhongli found himself waking up to the sun setting in the horizon. Just like how youve gone and resurfaced back into his memories. It was time.

He stood up from where he sat, gloved hands brushing any dirt that clung to him as he made his way to where you slept.

The red bean that was planted by himself still remained, a token of his love for you. Picking one bead and placing it inside the hollow dice he brought along, completing another one of the similar handicraft he's made every visit.

The sun finally died and the moon began its reign. The small wisps of light gathered around before him, forming a blurry image.

It was then he felt at ease, he saw you smiling at him with all there is in the world. Your light seemed to dim a little, hinting the blessing the adepti gave was slowly diminishing. Soon your visits would cease and you were sure that by the end of the power spent, he wouldve let go of the torment that plagued him.

"A-li. Have you been well?" he knew what you meant

"Im letting go slowly my dear. Perhaps in time, I would learn breathe easily once again."

Longest yet lol. Hope yall liked it ehehe

#genshin impact #genshin impact angst #genshin impact x reader #zhongli #zhonglixreader #genshin impact drabbles #zhongli angst #morax

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keenmarvellover · 4 years

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POSTS FOR YOU - 1

Some links to posts with valuable content you want in one place.(BASICALLY EVERYTHING IS THERE)

Suggestions and Recommendations are appreciated and accepted.

Last Updated : 16/10/2020

NOTE: Some of these post are written in a crude and unruly fashion. But they contain valuable tips, guidance and information. If you can't/don't want to read such posts, then don't read.

Mental Health

Do you need a Hug?

Maybe you’re having a stressful day. Maybe you just need a deep breath. Maybe you just didn’t realize how stressed you are. You can get your comfort here.

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READ IT. SHARE IT. REBLOG IT. Save a Life.

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A really excellent way to reduce anxiety is to pick up a new hobby. Find something you’re interested in, learn it, then use it as a healthy and productive way to cope.

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Some very Important Lists for Rating PAIN, FATIQUE AND MENTAL HEALTH

It is MUST share

PSA Rregarding Hospital bills

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How to differentiate between COVID-19, FLU AND COMMON COLD

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Are you always sitting down? Then these are some exercise you should probably try out for better health.

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Art Masterpost

How to draw *insert whatever you want, its there in the list*?

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Some video links to different types of DIY Bookbinding

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Synonyms and Antonyms

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It helps. It really helps.

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FREE ONLINE COURSES (here are listed websites that provide huge variety of courses)

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Some life hacks which make student's lives easier.

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If your learning a new language, these words will help you build a strong foundation.(Some tips and sites are include too)

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How to add your very own, custom homemade playlist to your blog?

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#safety #health #mental health #writers #readers #micellaneous

561 notes · View notes

wallgirl · 3 years

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The Little Nereid Part 15

(Beta version)

Record of Ragnarok fanfiction

Poseidon x OC

Word count: 3,100

Dynamene, youngest of the 50 Nereids, has lived most of her adolescence as a servant alongside her sisters at Poseidon’s palace. But with her coming-of-age birthday and other developments, what she initially thought was just admiration of her master blossoms into something stronger and more passionate… and painful. Loving someone like Poseidon is not easy period, let alone as your first love. But Dynamene is young and naïve, and all she wants is a chance to be at the sea god’s side.

Categories and warnings: Romance, angst, unrequited love, coming-of-age, earn-your-happy-ending, slow-burn (ish); no sexual content. There will be some graphic violence in the future.

Updated regularly; will have about 20 parts total.

Violence at the final paragraph in this chapter.

---

The flames coiled around every fiber of her being. She was completely consumed in the blue blaze as each lick seared into her. It was as if her skin was absorbing them, and she felt them roaring through her veins, engulfing her in agony. She screamed, but her voice was completely drowned out by the sound of the fire. One moment was torture; two moments became hell.

Then, as quickly as it had immersed her, the fire dissipated, withering to down to tiny blue embers. Dynamene staggered to her feet in the now-empty cauldron. The pain was not only gone, but it was as if she had never suffered it in the first place. Her skin felt abuzz with new energy.

The witch beamed at her. "Come on out, dear. Take a look at your new self." She pulled a dusty full-length mirror out from behind one armoire.

Dynamene carefully stepped out and stood before the glass. Someone that she'd known only in her dreams stared back at her.

She was still herself, but in the best way; she had no other words to describe it. Her skin was radiant and free of any tiny flaw, though her speckling of freckles remained. The long locks of dark hair that flowed down past her shoulders were busy rearranging themselves back into smooth braids; not a split-end or loose hair to be found. Her curved eyelashes feathered out like the fine hairs of a paintbrush. And the contours of her body had changed as well - her waist slightly tucked in, and the burgeoning curves above and below more defined.

"This is... I'm beautiful," she whispered in awe. She wiped away the dust to get a better look at herself. Only in her fantasies had she ever looked this way... So familiar, and yet so perfect.

"Aren't you? So gorgeous, but still yourself. Subtle, intricate magic. Of course, before you get carried away..." The witch held up a finger. "This effect does not last forever. You have 24 hours before it begins to fade; after that, it will be completely gone within minutes."

Dynamene frowned in disappointment, gently tugging at one of her braids. "I see..."

"You'll have to work quickly, then. Use all of your resources." The witch chuckled at a sudden thought. "A little womanly charm will work well to your advantage. Oh, to see the look on his face..."

Dynamene finally pulled her gaze away from the mirror. "Womanly charm?"

"Flatter him, kiss him, seduce him, anything goes. Surely your sisters taught you about the weakness of men?" The witch jeered. "Whatever you do, make sure you do it within the time limit. I don't offer refunds if you can't manage the success on your own."

Although the thought of batting her eyelashes at Poseidon made her cringe, Dynamene pursed her lips with a steadfast gaze. Whatever it takes, right? "I understand. With your spell, I won't fail. I... I'll think of something." Could I really seduce him, though? That's...

"Good, good." The witch opened a closet and threw a rumpled chiton at her. "Now, here's something to cover yourself up. Those flames are merciless against fabric."

Dynamene gasped as she realized that she was completely bare, quickly clutching the offered chiton to her front. At least the bracelet remained on her wrist, if nothing else.

"You're good to go now. And once the wedding date is set, do remember to drop me a line. I love networking." The witch said something unintelligible, and the mirror before Dynamene had its glass replaced with a swirling portal. "Chop, chop."

Dynamene clumsily tied the straps of the chiton and straightened herself out. Before she went through the portal, she looked back at the witch with her gleaming white eyes and hag-like grin. "Thank you for all you've done. I won't forget it."

"I know, dearest," the witch cooed, watching intently as Dynamene disappeared through. "I know."

---

The portal had sent her several feet before the surface of the water in a familiar backdrop. The colorful corals and schools of fish were a welcome sight, indeed, after her adventure. She was just off the beach of Poseidon's palace.

Grinning with newfound anticipation, she broke through the surface and let the sun shine on her face. Things will go my way now.

Too impatient to swim, she hoisted herself up on the water's edge and ran across the gently sloping waves. The palace gleamed brilliant white in the late afternoon sunlight, a magnificent sight she'd never thought she'd so long to see. Fish began to gather under the surface of her steps, keeping pace with her sprint. They realized who she was, and she heard their voices echo up from under the water. The Nereid has been found; Dynamene has returned!

She felt a familiar presence surfacing fast ahead in response to the voice of the sea creatures, and she sprinted faster. That presence could only belong to...

Then he was before her, outfit dripping with seawater, his blond hair almost white in the light. "Dynamene?" His ever-so-stoic face was finally made mobile with surprise.

"Poseidon!" Dynamene cried, her steps splashing in the shallow waves. "Poseidon!"

He stared at her in disbelief, barely lifting his arms in time to catch her as she threw herself against him. He was so strong, the force didn't budge him an inch, but he leaned back a bit so it didn't feel like she was colliding with a statue.

"I'm so glad to see you again," she cried, burying her face against his chest. "I... I'm so glad to see you! It's really you!" I didn't know if I would get to be this close to you again.

His hands gripped her against him for a moment, as if he'd momentarily lost the battle against his emotions, before he moved her back to look at her face. "Do you know the mayhem you've caused?"

Her heart sank as she took in the rage in his eyes. He was upset enough that there was a certain tension about his lips, almost pursed together. "I'm sorry, my lord. I have no excuse. I let my emotions get the better of me, and..." She hung her head guiltily. "I know I've caused all of you pain and worry. It won't happen again."

"Worry?" He scoffed. "Don't think so highly of yourself." But his grip on her shoulders fell away, and one of his arms moved to wrap around her shoulders. "You feel colder than usual. Are you hurt?"

"I feel cold?" Dynamene blushed. "No, I'm fine, really!" She remembered the witch's advice, and braced herself. "I... I was fine the moment I saw you again." She resisted the strong urge to cover her face with her trembling hands.

He unexpectedly took her waist in his firm hands and lifted her up. Dynamene gasped in surprise. "Poseidon?"

Poseidon stared up at her with a scrutinizing gaze. He looked her over from head to toe, searching for anything out of place. "Do not ever do something like that again. Are we clear?"

Dynamene was surprised her heartbeat wasn't roaring in her ears. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out; not even a squeak. Can he tell that something's changed?

"I'm glad we have an understanding." He set her down, keeping an arm about her shoulders. "There's no reason to keep standing out here. Come along; we should return to the palace."

Dynamene bit her lower lip in joy as they stepped onto the beach together. Her sisters, who had begun to clamor around in confusion, broke into screams when they saw her.

"Dynamene! Dynamene!" They rushed around the two of them as the foam swept about their feet.

"Take her to her room and tend to her," Poseidon said shortly, almost pushing her into the arms of her sisters. "I must go. Word must be sent to Nereus and Doris immediately."

Dynamene turned back desperately to look at him as he swept away. "My lord-!"

"We will speak later, Dynamene," he said with a tone of finality. Dynamene bit her lower lip in confusion before allowing her siblings to rush her away into the palace.

Once he was out of earshot, the scolding began. "How could you do such a thing, Dynamene?!" One familiar voice accused.

Dynamene jumped. "Actaea?"

Actaea pushed to the forefront of the throng, her face lined with indignation. "Running off like that! How could you?! Ianeira was beside herself with despair!"

"I'm sorry, I really am!" Dynamene pleaded. "I just-" She froze momentarily. I can't tell them about where I went or what I did. I'll have to pretend that I was just fuming around the ocean somewhere. "I needed space to clear my head and consider what she'd said."

"Ah, yes. You were eavesdropping and overheard her discussion with Mother, I understand." Actaea shook her head in disbelief as she pulled Dynamene into her room away from the others and closed the door. "Which, as I was told, is not the first time you've done such a thing. Silly girl. Why?"

"I was letting my feelings get ahead of me." The words slipped out easier than Dynamene would've guessed. "But I took my time to stew, and I feel a lot better. Ianeira was right about what she said."

"Said... About what?" Actaea prodded her on, crossing her arms impatiently.

"What she said about pursuing Poseidon. That it's a horrible idea. And I came to the realization that she was right." The bare lie came off her tongue like hot butter. "I don't want to end up like Adamas. And who wants to put up with Poseidon's icy demeanor for eternity?"

Actaea sighed, her tense shoulders relaxing just a titch. "Well... If anyone was going to get through to you, I suppose Ianeira would. The position of eldest has always suited her." Actaea pushed back a lock of Dynamene's hair with a curious look. "How did you keep your hair so smooth this whole time?"

Dynamene smiled coolly. "I found a comb in a shipwreck." Maybe I can get used to these lies.

Actaea shook her head again, this time in amazement. "Taking care of your hair, too? And I could've sworn you were shorter before. Has our youngest sister become a true woman overnight?" She teased Dynamene playfully.

Dynamene exhaled with silent relief. "At long last," she replied, shrugging casually.

---

The rest of her sisters at the palace took turns throughout the day alternatively yelling at and fussing over her. Actaea was the only one who had returned from home to join the search here. The rest of the sisters, along with their parents, given the situation, would be coming to Poseidon's palace as soon as they received word that Dynamene was there. Upon learning this, she couldn't help but squirm. It was one thing to deceive her sisters, but her parents would be an entirely different matter. Once the message had reached them, they would surely be on their way at once. Given the timeframe, she would only have until morning to get Poseidon to make a decision.

She preened nervously in front of her mirror. She was beautiful now, yes, but would it be enough? Maybe he'll finally see me as a woman, instead of his childish servant, she prayed. Poseidon hadn't come to speak with her since they'd reunited on the shore. Dynamene was growing impatient. Perhaps she should look for him herself.

A knock sounded on her door, and she jumped up in a haste to open it. Her sisters usually didn't knock; only Poseidon did.

"I hear you've had quite the day," he said stoically as soon as she opened the door.

"Yes, to say the least," she smiled tentatively. "I suppose I'll have even more lectures to hear once the rest of my family comes."

"Come with me." He began to walk back down the hall. "You're going to join me for dinner."

She gasped before she could stop herself. Had the magic had such an effect on him already?! Regathering her wits, she rushed after him. "Dinner? That's... unexpected."

He looked down at her. "Do you find fault with it? I thought it might give us some privacy to speak in confidence."

This really is a dream come true! Dynamene didn't even bother trying to hold back her bright grin. "Oh, of course not, my lord. I'm happy with whatever you decide."

Poseidon blinked for a moment, then faced forward once more. "As expected."

She rose one eyebrow. As enigmatic as ever, but what do I care? A meal with just us two is the opportunity I need. She closed her eyes for a moment. I hope I don't mess this up. With the spell on my side, hopefully everything will work out.

---

In Poseidon's sitting room, the small table was made up for two people. Dynamene took her seat across from him, wiping her sweaty palms on her peplos as subtly as she could.

The moonlight that entered from the open balcony across the way highlighted the angles and curves of Poseidon's muscular body, and she suppressed a sigh of longing. It was easy to see how the rest of the pantheon held him in such high regard, despite their fear. Her eyes trailed up his bare chest to his face. Such cold eyes underneath those long eyelashes... I want them to thaw for me. I'm so close. Who else but her could get so close to him this way? This side of Poseidon was one only she knew.

"Let's get the trivial matters out of the way first. Your parents are of no concern," he began bluntly. "I hold superiority over them. You will not leave this palace without my permission, so their feelings hold no weight."

Dynamene stared in shock. She hadn't expected him to lead off with something so... Then again, it was in character for him. "I see." It was strange to hear her parents, so respected by the rest of the gods, labelled as insignificant.

"My opinion is the only one that matters." He rested his cheek on one hand, examining her face. "But things have gone unsaid for long enough, and it's causing more trouble than I care for." His gaze sharpened. "Tell me, then, Dynamene. What is that you feel?"

Dynamene stiffened, her eyes wide like the moon. "What I feel?! Um..."

"I know why you fled your parents' palace. I know why they brought you there to begin with." His gaze slid to the side in annoyance. "It was a futile gesture. Clearly they failed to stop whatever it was that they found so reproachable."

Her hands began to shake again where they were folded in her lap. "Poseidon..." She felt detached from herself, as if she was watching from some place far away. "I want..." Don't forget the witch's words.

Dynamene mashed her lips for one brief moment before telling him what he expected to hear. "I want to be your consort."

It was as if time had stopped. His gaze snapped back to her. Was it just her imagination, or had his eyes grown wider? Perhaps he hadn't expected to hear this after all.

Strengthened by the hint of vulnerability, she pressed her point once more. "I want to be your consort, Poseidon. I... I want to stay by your side always. I don't care what my family wants. They only desire to drive us apart, anyway. I can't bear the thought of that. Please..."

His free hand on the table curled into a fist. His voice remained cool as he answered. "You wish to be my consort? Do you understand what you're asking?"

Dynamene felt her body growing weak under his stare. "Yes, I do. I... I have fallen in love with you." Her voice cracked as her lips trembled. "I love you. I don't want to be away from you ever again. I love you so much."

The air around them hung heavy with her raw confession, yet her body felt strangely lightened. I finally said what I needed to. At long last, I was able to tell him. I can't believe it. Her cheeks shimmered with hopeful tears. "Please consider it, my lord-"

The table cracked in half under Poseidon's fist, and she gasped in shock. The stone pieces fell to the ground with a loud boom. She looked up at his face, and for the first time since she'd met him, she truly felt terror.

His face was stone, his eyes devoid of all feeling except for rage. He stood slowly, his muscles rippling with the threat of his anger. "You sit there, you miserable bottom feeder, and tell me those words with such feigned sincerity. What a well-done act."

Dynamene's lips moved fast, but no sound came out.

"You enter my estate, clinging to my arm, reeking of foul magic. And now you sit, comfortable as can be, wearing her face, and telling me these lies. What a skilled seductress," sarcasm dripped from his words. Malice emanated from his body, and she clamored out of her chair.

"I... My lord, I don't know what you're talking about..." She squeaked.

He stalked towards her, and she rushed away to the other corner of the room, cowering. I don't understand! What did I do?!

"You have no pulse, you waste of false flesh," he hissed, grabbing her wrist roughly.

Tears fell hot and fast down her face as she pleaded with him, shaking. "I don't understand, I don't-"

Then it hit her. The deal she had made with the witch...

Something the size of a fist.

She took my heart.

The trident in its wall rack began to glow an angry blue, and Poseidon held out his hand. The trident was pulled by some unseen force into his grip, and he held it level with her chest with no hesitation.

"I'll ask once, then you can plead with the gatekeepers of Helheim," he said softly. There was no warmth from him, no recognition; only lethal intent. "Where is Dynamene?"

The silence ringing in her ears in place of her heartbeat made Dynamene's final moments all the more terrifying. "I am Dynamene! Poseidon, please-"

"Enough lies," he hissed. It was at that moment that Dynamene truly understood the terror Poseidon brought wherever he went. The hatred in his eyes... Was this what Adamas had seen in his final moments? Was this disbelief the same, the disbelief that he would hurt her after feigning care for so long?

She stared at him in anguish. I loved you.

The trident plunged into her chest.

---

Author’s Notes: Violence will continue a bit into the next chapter; I will give a warning then too so you know when to skip ahead.

Hush, hush, darling,

Hush, hush,

Don't tell me cause it hurts.

#record of ragnarok #poseidon #shuumatsu no valkyrie #poseidon x oc #fanfiction

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asphyxiateher · 3 years

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Only Monsters Come Out At Night

Chapter Four: The Ties that Bind

Summary: Desdemona receives a warning from Lady Dimitrescu before she sets off to spend time with Cassandra. Veronica is alive but just barely.

A/N: This chapter is longer than anticipated, I tried to be descriptive without being too wordy but alas, I hope you enjoy anyway.

Desdemona Hawthorne wishes she could convince herself that she does not believe in luck because it’s a flimsy excuse that most people fall back on to justify the unfavorable circumstances they may find themselves in. Growing up in the suburbs, she had heard all kinds of non-sense about how putting enough positive thoughts and energy out in the universe would grant you the gift of receiving everything you have ever wanted in return. Desdemona isn’t quite sure how to describe her current predicament, but she is certain that even vomiting rainbows and shitting out sunshine would not be enough to get her out of Castle Dimitrescu. No, this is the rotten luck she’s grown accustomed to having follow her around and it had tainted this vacation from the beginning. She just wanted to see the castle that inspired Dracula and learn about its history so she could say she went out there to pursue a seemingly impossible dream and made it come true.

Desdemona did not come out here to be imprisoned by three monstrous vampires who either wanted to kill her or fuck her, she couldn’t tell which they wanted to do more of at this point, so this whole unnerving, unpleasant experience warranted a refund. She had been expecting a tour guide and a group of fellow tourists when her group made it up here but instead, here she was stuck in a foul-smelling, subterranean cellar that was currently occupied by her and the three vampiric sisters she mentioned earlier. The eldest sister, Bela, stood in front of Desdemona protectively as she attempted to swat away at her sisters that were now slowly approaching them with raised sickles. “She’s mine, you delusional twit! She gave me something that was clearly important to her, that means she has declared herself to me!” Bela hollered, hissing when Daniela swung her sickle at her. “Bela, you selfish brat, you’re always sucking up to Mother and trying to be better than us at everything, but she told you to share! I am sick and tired of being given the leftovers; sometimes I want the first bite, you know!” Cassandra whines, transforming into a massive ball of insects only to instantly appear by Desdemona’s side. “Cassandra, you know how it is with Bela; we do all the work, and she takes all the credit! Let us humble our dear sister and take what is rightfully ours.” Daniela snarls, a dangerous glint in her eyes as she flicks her gaze over to Desdemona. She licks her lips and moans when she takes in her prey’s scent, her fear sweetening her blood.

Desdemona was at a loss for words the moment Daniela expressed her clear distaste for her sister’s arrogance. It was not only what came out of her mouth that perplexed the human, but it was in the manner of how she complained to Cassandra about Bela. The whole unsettling conversation between the siblings made Desdemona feel like they were ready to tear her apart so they could divide her evenly between the three of them. In hindsight, she probably should not have given any of the sisters a gift if this was going to be the reaction, but had they all been here the other day, maybe she could have given them all a little something to remember her by at the same time. However, this little opportunity could prove to be beneficial should the women begin tearing and clawing at each other rather than her. Maybe this is where they shred each other apart and Desdemona might have a fighting chance at making it out of here after all. She needed to find out where this was going fast and if she was going to need to take cover.

“Daughters, what is the meaning of this? I have bestowed each of you a gift that the three of you were supposed to share and take responsibility for only to have you throw back the kindness I’ve shown you back in my face!” Alcina’s booming voice in dungeon startled everyone in the room. The chamber door clicked open, exposing the rather imposing figure that belonged to Lady Dimitrescu. She scanned the room and glared at her three cowering daughters, carelessly throwing in another body into the room that she had been hauling behind her. Desdemona’s eyes widened in surprise when she recognized Veronica’s limp body curled on the ground.

“You know you’re supposed to take care of your pets and not let them rot in the cellar! Have I not taught you girls any manners or did I overestimate your ability to take care of this human you are all so fond of? Ugh, no matter, I have another task for you girls. You are to assist Karl with a project; he found an abandoned van not too far from the village and was able to tow it back to the castle. We found some of Desdemona’s belongings that I’m sure you all would be interested in.” Alcina said sweetly, smirking when her daughters expressed their delight at embarking on such a quest. Desdemona carefully approached Veronica’s resting form and knelt on the ground beside her, gently lifting her head and placing it on her lap. She gasped aloud when she saw how bruised and broken Veronica appeared, her hair disheveled as her skin was marred with darkened bruises and scars that indicated severe physical trauma. Veronica shifted in place and lifted a shaky hand in the air, her breathing slow and calm when she feels Desdemona’s fingers clasp together with hers.

“What…what happened to you, V? You look like shit.” Desdemona teases, hoping to brighten her best friend’s mood somehow. Veronica smiles at Dezzy’s playful tone and lightly squeezes her hand. Veronica suddenly grimaces and turns her head to her side, her tongue rolling around against her cheek before she spits something out.

‘Wait, did she just spit out a tooth? What did Lady Dimitrescu do to you, Veronica?’ Desdemona sadly thinks to herself as she pulls Veronica closer until she’s settled comfortably on her lap.

“You know me, Dezzy, I don’t know when to shut the fuck up. She wants to break me and I want to irritate her until my very last breath; this relationship is in absolutely no way toxic.” Veronica says, coughing out blood when she tries to laugh through the pain.

“Mother, that loud-mouth with the gross blood is touching our plaything. May we slit her throat and hang her upside down until she bleeds out?” Cassandra asks with a sneer. Daniela is scowling at Veronica and she looks ready to pounce but she somehow manages to refrain from doing so after looking to her mother for any signs of approval. Thankfully, Alcina manages to look annoyed with the request more than anything.

“No, no, you girls will not touch what belongs to me. She was starting to bore me so throwing her in here for a day will allow me to recharge. I will, however, remind you that your new task needs to be done immediately so I suggest you find your dear Uncle Karl and help him with whatever he needs. I will tend to your pet and give her a bath. She and I need to have an important talk regarding your needs.” Alcina states as she glances over to Desdemona cradling her best friend in her arms.

“Mother, if Desdemona needs a bath, I would be more than happy to assist you in all matters that concern my beloved.” Bela offers, beaming when she gazes into Desdemona’s eyes.

The crestfallen expression on Bela’s face after Alcina politely rejects her offer has the other two sisters snickering in the back. Disheartened at the idea of Desdemona being handled in the bath by her mother, Bela disintegrates into a million insects and leaves the space. Her two sisters soon follow when their mother shoots them a knowing look.

Alcina’s attention now falls on Desdemona and the surviving Hawthorne twin feels her heart begin to race. She doesn’t quite know how to act around Lady Dimitrescu and judging by how broken Veronica looked, Desdemona figures she must continue to act submissive and demonstrate manners when she’s spoken to. Until she can come up with a formidable plan to escape the castle with her best friend in tow, Desdemona must continue to get to know Lady Dimitrescu and her three daughters better. She’ll eventually figure out what their weaknesses are by playing the long game.

“I guess I better get going, V. Please feel better soon and you know, try not to die.” Desdemona says as she places a gentle kiss on her friend’s forehead.

Veronica scoffs and bats away at her in response.

“I can’t make any promises I can’t keep. You just do you until you know, find something worth finding out about and tell me all about it. Oh, and Dezzy,” Veronica says quietly as she watches her best friend cautiously approach Lady Dimitrescu, who had been observing their interaction with curiosity. “let it be known that you have the worst fucking luck in the world with women. Take care of yourself, yeah?”

Desdemona sighs at that and offers her friend a knowing smile. She’d spent most of her life being attracted to heterosexual women or women who were emotionally unavailable to her; she didn’t think she’d ever cross the line of the usual types she’s typically drawn to but here she was fighting for survival as a trio of dangerous vampires decided to lay their claim on her.

Des dares to look up at Alcina, who unfortunately had already been staring at her, and she gulps, picking up the pace to keep up with Lady Dimitrescu’s rather large strides. For the most part, Alcina does not engage in much conversation unless she felt the need to point something out about the mansion.

When they enter one of the guest bathrooms, Desdemona can’t help but be a little impressed at Lady Dimitrescu’s design choices. The exquisitely polished gold marble flooring stood out the most as two sinks lined up on both sides of the room, the cherry wood cabinets complimenting both the granite countertops and the glossy tile backsplash. Desdemona had to begrudgingly admit that Lady Dimitrescu had impeccable taste, her jaw dropping at the sight of a large bathtub sitting upon a platform in the center of the room.

Alcina wasted no time in stripping Desdemona of her ratty clothes after she had run enough hot water for her in the tub. The steam and warmth of the water was nearly enough to send Desdemona into a state of relaxation but then she remembered Alcina wanted to have an important discussion with her in private.

“You know as well as I do that I do not care for humans. Your life has no meaning to me and should I wish to, I could cut you open at any given moment and offer any remaining part of you to the pigs after my daughters and I are through feasting on your corpse. The only reason you are being kept alive is because my daughters are growing fond of you. They’ve ever only known the company of family and the maidens they occasionally feed on so to see a blossoming…relationship between one of my daughters and her plaything is quite remarkable.”

Desdemona doesn’t dare say a thing as Alcina gently lifts her arms to scrub them. The word “relationship” is being tossed around so casually that it makes her wonder if any of these women knew what love was or if any of them were capable of forming attachments to other people.

When the smaller woman doesn’t reply, Alcina grips the back of Desdemona’s head and yanks it back so she could growl in her ear.

“You shall treat all my daughters as equals, pet. You will not favor one over the other two and you will do whatever it takes to keep them happy if you know what’s good for you. I care about my daughters and their happiness and if that means keeping you alive, you better damn well appreciate the gift I’m giving you by allowing you serve them. You shall spoil them, love them and show them affection because if word gets out that you’ve been a naughty little human that’s broken any of their hearts, I will gut you alive.”

Desdemona feels her fists clench and unclench underneath the bath water at the mention of being gutted alive. A tear runs down her cheek at the disturbing memory of her twin brother’s bowels piling on the floor as Veronica’s screams echoed in the back of her mind. It was horrifying having to relive that particular memory over and over again.

‘You should tell her how much you hate her for killing Desmond. Stop being a pussy and stand up for yourself! Who cares if she beats you!? She murdered Desmond, you should be fighting tooth and nail for your freedom the way Veronica has been doing.’

With a shaky voice, Desdemona swallows her pride and nods in acquiescence to Lady Dimitrescu’s requests.

“I understand, my Lady. I will do whatever it takes to ensure that their needs are fulfilled and that they remain happy under my care.” Desdemona says after a tense moment.

Alcina smiles and releases the grip she had on the smaller girl’s head.

“Good, I’m glad we were able to clear that up like reasonable adults. After I’m done tidying you up, you will spend the night with Cassandra in her room. She has been upset ever since Bela told my other girls how you’d given her a phone full of pictures of you. For your sake, I sure do hope you plan on making it up to both Cassandra and Daniela; they’re starting to feel neglected.” Alcina tells her with a wicked smile on her face and Desdemona has to stop herself from groaning out loud.

She doesn’t necessarily have a plan to appease both Cassandra and Daniela but spending the night with Cassandra was a great starting point. It didn’t help matters that she was absolutely terrified of the sadistic vampire but perhaps it wouldn’t take much to charm her.

After the somewhat relaxing bath, Desdemona was left to her own devices to explore the mansion under the watchful eyes of Alcina. Cassandra’s bedroom wasn’t too far off from the hallway she was currently wandering through but the silence that followed her throughout the castle was still quite eerie. Desdemona’s hand reached for the golden doorknob in front of her when her ears are filled with uncontrollable giggling. She squeezes the knob and slightly turns it only to swat away at a few insects buzzing around her. Desdemona looks to her left and then to her right; there’s nothing on either side of her and so she takes a deep breath, wondering if she was slowly losing her mind the longer she stayed in the castle.

Opening the door, the next thing she sees is a black shadow with glistening white teeth lunging at her. “Rawr!”

Desdemona shouts and jumps back until she hits the wall behind her, her hand clutching at her chest as she tries to steady her heavy breathing. She’s not sure if she should be relieved to see that it was just Cassandra laughing at her reaction to the stupid jump scare but at least she wasn’t in immediate danger…maybe.

“Oh, you should see the look on your face – it’s priceless! Mmm, and just listening to the sound of your heart rapidly beating in your chest is lovely music to my ears. Fear thickens your blood and the thicker the blood, the sweeter it is.” Cassandra tells her, laughter now subsiding as she stands awkwardly in the doorway.

“Is there a reason you came to visit little ol’ me or did you get lost on your way to find Bela?” Cassandra spits out Bela’s name with disdain and Desdemona knew she had to convince Alcina’s daughters that they all meant something to her, but she had to treat them all as equals as well.

“I came to see you, actually. I wanted to spend some time with you and get to know you better since we got off the wrong foot at the beginning of all this.” Desdemona says uncertainly, peering over Cassandra’s shoulders to see if there was something she could work with if she managed to convince her to let her in.

Cassandra gives her a once over, her eyes lingering on certain parts of Desdemona longer than most and relents.

“I do have a few questions about some of your belongings my dear Uncle Karl found in that hideous vehicle of yours. Now, I do occasionally dabble in the arts myself but these palettes you brought with you are utterly useless and too shiny for my liking! Explain this to me!” Cassandra exclaims as she leads a befuddled Desdemona into her room which was surprisingly ordinary considering the woman’s personality.

Desdemona was about to ask what she meant by shiny when her mouth suddenly hangs open at the sight of several expensive makeup palettes thrown and scattered about. Cassandra picks up a broken Pat McGrath eyeshadow palette and attempts to dip one of her makeup brushes in one of the colors and draws a sloppy line against the canvas she had set up on an easel in front of her.

‘Jesus fucking Christ, she’s trying to paint using your one hundred-and twenty-five-dollar eyeshadow palette.’ Desdemona thinks, desperately trying hard not to cry at the loss of something so precious to her.

Desdemona rolls her lips as she recognizes one of her favorite Morphe makeup brushes lying broken in half across the other side of the room. Cassandra had gone through her makeup bag and successfully destroyed at least a few hundred dollars worth of product. If survival wasn’t a big priority right now, Desdemona would have a mental breakdown over this. For now, she’ll be happy to take a rain check.

“So, I love your enthusiasm, Cassandra, and your idea to paint on a canvas using my makeup is really…creative. How about I show you how to do your makeup with what’s left?” Desdemona asks as she picks up a relatively intact kit that Cassandra paid no mind to.

Cassandra tilts her head in confusion.

“Why would I need makeup? You’re disgusted by the sight of me, aren’t you? I know I’m not as pretty or as smart as Bela, but you don’t need to go around telling me what I don’t already know!” Cassandra screeches, her hands wrapping around Desdemona’s neck and slamming her to the nearest wall. When Cassandra begins to apply a deadly amount of pressure, Desdemona had to act quickly.

“I-I just wanted to spend time with you, Cassandra! You’re beautiful without makeup, but seeing how much you like art, I thought you’d appreciate it a different way!” Desdemona manages to say, nearly coughing up a lung when Cassandra releases her.

The dark-haired woman eyes Desdemona suspiciously but she motions for the smaller girl to continue.

“I just thought maybe you’d want to partake in an activity we both would enjoy. It’s intimate and it would just be our thing, something that no one would take away from us. You’re already gorgeous, Cassandra, but this is a thing we could do for fun. Just you and me doing each other’s makeup...and maybe after we’ve gotten to know each other better, maybe we can just do each other.” Desdemona continues as she tries to double down on her flirtatiousness. She bats her eyelashes at Cassandra and her fingers begin to twirl the ends of her long, wavy dark brown hair.

Cassandra inhales Desdemona’s scent and rolls her eyes to the back of her head as if her blood were truly intoxicating in that moment. “Okay, I’ll let you do my makeup, Little One. Just…hurry up and let’s get to the part where we get to know each other better. I can’t wait to eat you all up once you let me, my pretty little plaything.” Cassandra whispers into Desdemona’s ear, her tongue leaving a wet trail from the nape of her neck to her collarbone. She enjoys the way the smaller girl shudders against her.

“R-right, let’s sit on your bed for a minute. I have some ideas and I’ll need your input. Your opinion is extremely important to me.” Des tells Cassandra, emphasizing how much she valued Cassandra’s contributions to their playdate activity, and it seemed to boost Cassandra’s ego.

Twenty minutes later after Desdemona had helped Cassandra clean her face, Desdemona straddled Cassandra and set herself to work on Lady Dimitrescu’s most insecure daughter. The smaller brunette was leaning closely over Cassandra and it was nearly too much for Cassandra’s senses. She was steadily growing impatient but there was something fascinating in the way Desdemona looked as she began doing her makeup. She looked focused, determined and when she fixed her brilliant gray eyes into Cassandra’s, there was a playfulness in the way she smiled at her. Cassandra felt her heart squeeze at the beautiful sight of her human sitting so peacefully atop of her. She did not want to ruin this moment but Cassandra hates holding back, whether its her feelings on something or when she’s out in the wilderness hunting, she needed to voice her thoughts.

“You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met and I’m glad you got lost in our village. I’ve met all sorts of pretty maidens but they were all so boring and rude, always screaming at the sight of us and running away from us when we wanted to play hide and seek. Your blood is so tempting, I want to bite into your neck and rip out your throat but…this, spending time like this with anyone outside of my family is nice. You’re so sweet it makes me want to taste you, but you also make me want to be around you more in a way that doesn’t involve killing, maiming, or torture, if that makes sense.” Cassandra blurts out in a rush, her cheeks glowing pink underneath the dim light of the torches in her room.

Desdemona pauses and takes a moment to let all that sink in. Cassandra is adorably awkward, or that’s how she would describe her if she weren’t also an intimidating immortal vampire that could snap her neck at the drop of a hat. Cassandra didn’t like the long awkward pause that formed between them, so she begins digging her sharp nails into Desdemona’s thighs and the smaller girl reacts.

‘Des, you need to stab her in the eye while she’s vulnerable or if she’s really a vampire, try stabbing her in the heart! Kill her, kill her the way they so ruthlessly killed your brother and be done with it. Fight your way out of here, goddamn it!’ Desdemona’s thoughts were overwhelming her and as much as she wanted to fight the creatures that were responsible for her brother’s death and Veronica’s misery, she knew she had to discourage such thoughts from frequently forming in her mind. This game couldn’t be won if she gave in to her baser desires.

“Is your tongue coated in honey, Cassandra? I’m a little embarrassed to admit this but no one has said such lovely things to me before. It makes me want to kiss you.” Desdemona flirts as she brings her hips down against Cassandra, causing the other woman to moan aloud at the intense contact she felt between them. “So…what’s holding you back? Kiss me!” Cassandra demanded, her hands snaking underneath Desdemona’s blouse as her hands explored every inch of skin that she had access to. Desdemona accidentally lets out a moan of her own and freezes, her hands finding Cassandra’s and pinning them above her head. Cassandra liked this darker side of Desdemona, it meant that they could play rough in the bedroom and her plaything would like it. This would be the last and only time Desdemona would top her though.

“I told you, you need to let me finish your makeup and then we’ll get to the fun stuff. Patience is a virtue.” Desdemona says, laughing when Cassandra huffs and crosses her arms in displeasure. The smaller girl bites her lip when she thinks to herself how cute Cassandra seemed but the thought quickly vanishes when images of Desmond’s bloodied corpse enters her mind again.

This was going to be a long game indeed.

#only monsters come out at night #chapter four #Bela dimitrescu x ofc #bela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu x ofc #cassandra dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu x ofc #daniela dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu daughters x ofc #RE8 Village #Resident Evil 8 #Resident Evil Village #mine

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mor-beck-more-problems · 4 years

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What Are Friends For || Morgan & Lydia

After Morgan accidentally strikes a bargain with Lydia, she is invited over to make good on her word. What are friends for, after all?

@inspirationdivine

Morgan was eager to make a better impression on Lydia than she had at the beach. She brought one of the few bottles of wine she hadn’t wrecked in the house, assuming that whatever was good enough for Deirdre’s luxuriant tastes would suit Lydia as well. She put on a bright floral dress that was hanging in the closet from her old things, too attention-seeking with its sweetheart bust and bright pink belt to do for her everyday ‘don’t look at me I’m dead and depressed’ chic. Which meant it was clean and, mostly, unwrinkled. She did her hair. She checked herself, however self-consciously before the door to the rather intimidatingly large house. When Lydia answered the door, Morgan held out her gift bag automatically. “I brought this for you!” If she had any blood flow to her face she would have blushed. No hi? No how are you? Seriously? “It’s good see you,” she tried. “I thought you’d like this. And, um, there’s a rose quartz plate. I don’t know if you like it, but it is one of the nicer things I made.” It was part of an unfinished commission the buyer only wanted a refund for, but even Morgan wasn’t so frazzled as to mention that.

Lydia smiled as she opened the door, humans kept busy upstairs so as to not disturb them. Almost immediately Morgan was pushing a gift bag into her hands, which Lydia peaked into curiously. “Thank you, darling, it’s good to see you too,” she stepped aside, leading Morgan into the kitchen of her home. Large windows filled the room with spring skies, and a view over her garden. “Look at that, you did put on your Sunday best after all. You look good.”

Morgan stepped carefully into the house, minding not to scuff the tile as she walked in. Windows lined every wall that wasn’t adorned with bright paintings or strange sculptures that seemed to draw Morgan towards them. It put her in mind of an art gallery, or a home in a movie: some mysterious billionaire with a shark tank in the basement. “Have you collected all of this in only four months?” She asked, staring wide-eyed around her. So entranced and distracted, she nearly tripped on her way to the kitchen. “I did!” She said, summoning as much brightness as she had in her. Not much, but enough to sound pleasant. “I like to think I clean up good. Your home is amazing,” she said. “Almost like a museum.”

“No, I’ve had much of it for years. Every time I move, I choose my favourite pieces to bring to the new residence. I change it reasonably frequently.” Lydia looked around, smiling at her collection. For each piece, she could name the Leanan who had inspired it. Some of them distant friends or siblings that Lydia could see in the art itself. Either directly, the planes of their chests carefully etched into wood, or in the colour pallettes of the beautiful baroque scenery. “You do clean up well. I also hope this means you feel the slightest bit better relative to the last time we met.”

“Oh. Sh--stars,” Morgan corrected herself quickly. “It really is like a museum. That’s incredible. And when you say years, do you mean--” She hesitated, wondering if it was impolite to ask about age. Morgan didn’t even know what kind of fae Lydia was. If she was a banshee, she would have more skulls, right? And Deirdre wouldn’t be so lonely. She probably wasn’t like Jeff, Morgan would have noticed that too. “Well, just how many, I guess, if that’s polite to ask.” But, in case that wasn’t-- “I am feeling better, though. Thank you for asking. Still not, you know,” she fidgeted on the counter, “Kickin’ that well. But, better than last time. Haven’t almost drowned anyone since.”

“I’m over seventy years old, although I haven’t been collecting art for quite that long,” Lydia replied, preening herself under Morgan’s compliments. “Are you an art connoisseur, or do you just enjoy seeing it?” There wasn’t any judgment in her tone, for once. It was simply a question to find out whether they could talk art, or simply enjoy it together. “I would be more concerned if you were suddenly completely fine. Although, if pranks become part of your new lifestyle, that remains a good choice for a prank. Would you like anything to eat or drink?”

“Seventy?” Morgan balked with surprise before she could stop herself. Did this mean she and Deirdre would look this good at seventy? Her mind struggled to go in five different directions at once. “I don’t know if that’s especially old for fae, if your family treats you like a kid about it or not, but at least you don’t seem cynical or tired after all this time,” she said, trying to get back on course. “I’ve, um, I’ve taken a couple courses in art history. Came in handy when I was alive, a little, with curse research and the sacred geometry that goes into alchemy. But mostly I just think it’s pretty. I um...I mostly have a weak spot for anything with a dramatic enough emotional statement. There’s a chapel Rothko designed, in Houston? I would go there to think some times, as a weird treat for myself.” She scanned their surroundings again. The house was so open she could see all the way to the entrance still. “That one,” she pointed, “Is that an original baroque or something in the style?” She gave a hapless smile, this is as far as my knowledge goes, but I’m trying. “I’ll just have whatever you’re having. Or water,” she said, to be polite. At least water had never really tasted like anything in the first place.

“It doesn’t directly translate to either of those. I have a lot of life left to live, but seventy years is no short length of time for anyone.” Lydia replied, smiling. “Why would I become cynical or tired of it? The world has so much to experience and live for.” She sat on a stool by her kitchen table, as Morgan described her education. “Yes, I know the chapel. It’s incredibly beautiful.” Lydia looked down the hall and nodded. “It’s a Reubens. I do love the Baroque style.” She smiled, letting Morgan go from the discussion. “Water it is,” Lydia acquiesced, pouring Morgan a glass. “Now, shall we discuss that little deal of ours?”

“Oh,” Morgan said, chewing on the thought. “I guess, just because…” Life sucks and then you die. And sometimes you come back for even more hurt. She was able to think better of the statement and after a few moments of mouthing awkwardly in silence, “Humans do. Get cynical and tired. It doesn’t even take seventy years for most of them. I used to get crap for not being more...bitter, cautious, whatever. I was tired a lot, but maybe energy is different for fae.” She didn’t try to flex what little art factoids she had. Lydia was being nice and, fuck it, she’d let her be. Morgan had given her offerings, she made an effort, and despite Lydia’s airs of propriety, there was something about her that invited Morgan to drop her own pretensions and be herself. She gave a smaller, though more sincere smile and nodded gratefully. “Right! I said I’d do something for you. What kind of thing did you have in mind?”

“There are days that are terrible. Sometimes weeks or even years. To let that colour my entire life would be...wasteful.” Lydia replied, but knew it probably wasn’t what Morgan needed to hear right now. Losing another wasn’t the same as losing your own sense of self. Even if Morgan hadn’t lost her life, Lydia understood she currently felt like it. So she smiled, matching Morgan’s. “Yes. This is really… more of a heads up, if you will. I’m sure Deirdre is very careful with these things, with you. But if you’re to date a fae, you need to be aware that not all of us are as sweet as Deirdre or I, and that you might need to watch your words more carefully.” Lydia clasped her hands. “As for what I had in mind. I was thinking a small painting. I can offer you as much inspiration as you like. I don’t care if you paint the whole canvas blue, or if you throw the paint at it, or if you take rests. All of that is up to you. You could even take a knife to the canvas, for all I mind. Just create something, for me. That’s all I ask to end the promise.”

“Wait--what?” Morgan sputtered with confusion. She thought that Lydia was kidding. She had to be. A head’s up? “We’re always intentional with our promises, yeah,” Morgan said, straightening with a little pride. Their promises were better than any cheesy ring or one-time declaration any other couple might make. They were their trust, their fidelity, something that could stay true and real, even when Morgan could barely get out of bed. They never had to pull on the thread because they meant what they said. It only existed for something sudden, some hypothetical emergency or some time when the compulsion would be a comfort. What else would promises be good for, besides a proof of trust? Her expression wrinkled, confused and scrutinizing as she waited for some other punchline. Then her body began to ache, her insides burning and twisting. That was...weird. “Uh…” Her stomach tightened, and Morgan clenched her jaw to keep from dry heaving in front of Lydia. “Oh-kay.” She gripped the countertop to keep from doubling over. Was this--something fae let happen on purpose? “Canvas?” She asked, voice strained. “Can you, um, show me where, a-and paint, crayola crayons, whatever? Please?”

“Already set up,” Lydia replied smoothly, stepping over to help Morgan. “Darling, there’s no rush.” That would at least ease the ache that had Morgan keeling over, her jaw tight. Lydia tried to feel bad about it. She really did. It was the fae in her, that couldn’t stand to avoid taking advantage of such things. Perhaps it was a bit of a compulsion. She would have done it to anyone, really, and would expect it in return. “Come along here, and I’ll bring you something you can really taste.” Lydia lead Morgan to a pre-set up canvas and paints. It was a small canvas, A4 sized. If Morgan wanted to, she could cover the whole thing in a couple minutes flat. “There you go. As I said, darling, no rush, take the rests you want, paint what you like.”

Morgan’s insides unclenched at Lydia’s words. She let out a deep gasp, bracing herself again, just so she didn’t go to the floor in relief. She looked up at Lydia, bewildered by how quickly this had turned around into something...not at all like what she shared with Deirdre. Was this the ‘heads up’? The lesson she was supposed to get out of this. “T-thank you,” she said quietly, averting her gaze. She followed her at a distance, still feeling a little clammy, or maybe just shaken. This wasn’t what she’d had in mind when she asked the universe to help her feel again. She looked between Lydia and the canvas and back again. It was all...waiting for her. She wasn’t sure how to feel about that. “Okay. What I like. I can do that.” She tried to smile again, but she was too shaken to feel at ease just yet.

She lifted a drafting pencil and began to sketch out the bones of...whatever this was going to be. Why was this so hard? Of course she liked things. Morgan sectioned off the canvas for a close up landscape and set aside a circle for what she wanted to put in it. She had started on a base coat (she remembered that much from the extra curricular lectures she’d attended) when she worked up the nerve to ask, “So, can I ask--? When you say that other fae are not as sweet, do you mean...that they do this on purpose? For...what, exactly? I just...would like to understand better.”

“I mean that the kind of promise you made could be used for something much crueler than a simple painting.” Lydia sat down a few feet away from Morgan, watching her paint the base. She sat back, her wings fading into view as she considered the question. “We do it in part because it is our culture. To us, there is little more valuable than our word. That everyone else gives it so thoughtlessly is infuriating. There should be consequences for such things.” She turned her gaze back to Morgan. “When I was attacked by that vampire, when I was done being terrified, I was enraged. Not just because he’d turned me into a toy, or because he’d tried to kill me. What made me most angry was that we’d made a deal, and he went right against it. That made me more angry than the manner by which he did it.” Lydia shook her head to clear her mind. “I suppose though, perhaps what I want to warn you of, is that many fae don’t like other fae to date other species at all. That a commitment like the one you made to me could have been used to end the relationship between the two of you.”

Morgan could understand, a little, what it must be like to see everyone take for granted what was so essential to you. She still hadn’t been by to see the coven despite saying that she would, she needed to. It was too painful, too infuriating, to witness magic as if it were a matter of course when her power had died in the street with her heartbeat. She switched to a different brush and began to cover the canvas in blue before taking up another and layering a wide swath of green over it for grass. It was more of a clumsy child’s dreamscape than the spot in the woods by the river she had hoped to represent, but Lydia hadn’t asked her for the artistic value of her work. She paused, turning solemn as Lydia recounted the worst parts of her story to her. Morgan shook her head with dismay. “Vampires are the fucking worst,” she grumbled quietly. Then, with a little more poise she said louder, “He should never have done that. He should have to pay, pay to someone for being cruel in that way. I’m sorry, Lydia.”

At the suggestion that Morgan could be promise-tricked into deserting Deirdre, she put her brush down. “They might hate me, for being with her. I’m aware of that much,” she said solemnly. “But...we promised each other first. All she ever has to do is ask for me to come to her, and I will. Wherever she is, whatever else happens between us. Doesn’t that promise matter too?” They were careful. They still didn’t go shouting from the rooftops that they were together. But if fae could sense each other, it would only take one outing down the wrong street, bumping into the wrong person, for them to guess. “How do I keep that from happening?” She asked. “I didn’t...I was being sincere, Lydia, when I spoke to you about doing something. I just didn’t understand that it was possible to bind yourself without the word ‘promise.’” She picked up her brush again, sighing with dismay as more troubled thoughts floated and circled her brain. “I’m sorry for that too I guess.”

“He will. He made a deal, and now he will pay for it. As he should,” Lydia replied, sneering, before pushing the mysterious vampire out of her mind and out the conversation. Morgan had much more interesting things to say. “You made a promise to Deirdre that you would stay in a relationship with her?” Lydia asked. Deirdre could do Deirdre but… how completely bizarre. She’d have to ask Deirdre about it sometime. “Yes, any such promise has incredible value. There is a separate danger there. When an unstoppable force hits an immovable object, what breaks? Usually, the person who has made two opposing unbreakable promises.” It was rather gruesome, really. It was horrifying. Lydia had seen it happen to a couple humans, but had once seen it happen to a gancanagh she knew, barely eighteen years old. The whole fae population had gone into mourning over it. “You watch your words, carefully. Any time you commit to something, any time you indicate a favour owed. It takes practice. That’s why I wanted you to learn this now.” Lydia leant forward, her eyes softer than the situation should suggest. “I appreciate your apology, darling. I don’t doubt your good nature.”

“Oh, no, that’s--” Morgan couldn’t help but scoff darkly. “That’s definitely not what happened. Not that I would ever fuck with our agency like that in the first place, but Deirdre--” Deirdre had been more livid, more hurt than Morgan had ever seen her before, or since. Everything was vanishing behind one locked door after another. Morgan, with her cursed track record, had feared the worst. All because of some stupid words she hadn’t understood. Morgan couldn’t bring herself to explain the horrible details, the guilt of having caused that kind of hurt still haunted her mind. It rose up, prickling her peace like needles whenever things grew tense between her and Deirdre, and when they were so light and calm, they seemed too good to last. But the unpleasantness of that day in the woods was clear on her face as she stared into the distance before resuming her painting. “She would’ve released me in two seconds if that had been what I was trying. We weren’t in a good place, when I gave her that promise. But I wanted…” What she had really wanted was for all the badness to stop. And for Deirdre to not give up on her own humanity just because Morgan had wounded her by mistake. But Morgan did not know how to tell Lydia any of this, or if she even wanted to.

“I wanted her to know that I would always be there for her,” she said at last. “Even if we never got back to the kind of place we were at before, I would still want to be there for her, if that was something she might...want. Even a little. No relationship conditions, she could have frozen me out for weeks or months, and asked me over for just an hour or a night or a week. When you care about someone enough...when you love them, it shouldn’t matter if you’re in a fight or broken up over some stupid mistake or you haven’t spoken in awhile. If you love them, you want to be there no matter what, as long as they want you to. But that’s hard for people to believe. And not everyone means things like ‘oh, i still wanna be your friend,’ ‘yeah you can still count on me.’ But I meant it. So I gave her a promise. If she ever decided she wanted to see me again, I’d come. She only had to ask for me.”

Morgan began to paint the drop of canvas she’d sectioned off a bright orange. Not at all like the amber fossil kept safely in their bedroom, but close as she could figure from her selections. “We worked things out on our own, eventually. She’s never pulled on that thread, even once. And I’d come without pressing her to take that measure, obviously. But I like knowing it's there. There’s no telling what could happen, and it’s still true, so…” She looked over at Lydia, a little heartened by her softness. She nodded at her words, accepting the gravity of her situation, why she might feel compelled to go to all this trouble. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do here. You must care about Deirdre a lot, to look out for us.”

Lydia listened. This hadn’t been intended to be a backdoor into Deirdre’s private relationship or private thoughts, but as Morgan explained, Lydia began to relax and ease. Not just because she had for a second believed that Deirdre would have accepted such an ethically questionable promise. She listened attentively as Morgan talked, watching the attention by which Morgan painted. She deliberately wasn’t watching the actual painting, willing it to be a surprise, and to ensure that Morgan wouldn’t feel too imposed on. Beyond the literal imposition, of course. “I’m rather relieved to hear that, I must admit. The alternative would have been alarming. For the both of you.” Lydia settled and rolled her shoulders, stretching wing muscles as she did. “It is still a major commitment, but I’m glad you thought it through with her. I’m glad you were there to help her.” She smiled, softly, at Morgan’s comment. “I do. She’s a wonderful woman. Ultimately, I want her to be happy. Everything else is secondary.”

Morgan painted as best she could, which was, honestly, not very well. She began to add what was meant to be a squirrel picking flowers, caught in the lens of the orange drop, but her inexpert strokes morphed the image into a strange brown blob, almost sinister. “You don’t have to worry about that with me. I love her,” she said simply, setting the brush aside. She stepped back from her work. Not an artistic vision by any means, but it was covered. She gave Lydia a sidelong glance, wincing at just how awful it looked next to the art surrounding her. “I, uh, I tried,” she said. “It’s...well, it’s supposed to be things I like, but you should maybe display it out by the dumpster.”

Love. Morgan had used that word twice now, so that it couldn’t be an accident. Deirdre had said many things, but she had said nothing of love. Lydia looked down to her hands for a moment, at the smooth skin and the burgundy nails she wore today. She wondered if she’d be so kind, if Morgan was still human. She wondered if she would have done this at all, if Morgan never had been. Lydia set those thoughts aside. There was an edge to this kindness, that if asked about, Lydia couldn’t deny. One that perhaps they would forget about in time. Morgan turned the easel, and Lydia raised an eyebrow at the monstrosity that Morgan revealed. “I wouldn’t throw it away, this is a gift. We’ll call it… dadaist modern art, and call it a day. I am very grateful, Morgan. For everything.”

Morgan couldn’t help but notice the silence around her declaration. She wondered if it had to do with her being only recently un-human’d. If she had been dead all along, would Lydia believe her more, would she see it more clearly? Or would it only look right to her with a pair of wings at her back and fae blood in her cold veins? She sighed, wrapping her arms around herself to hide the self-consciousness. Lydia was being kind, but it was the sort of kindness that gritted its teeth against something else. She should probably count herself lucky, she reminded herself, that Lydia was trying at all. That she had, in some spare moments, tried to extend whatever counted as friendship for her kind of fae towards Morgan. “I don’t think I’ve done all that much,” she said, side-eyeing her handiwork again. “But I appreciate you taking this time with me too. I’d like to get to be your friend too. At some point.”

“You made more of an effort than I expected. That has value,” Lydia replied softly. She stood up, smoothing her skirt. “I think I’d like that too, at some point,” Lydia replied in turn. Perhaps not today. Perhaps not in a month. Perhaps not while Remmy was made to hate themselves for saving Morgan from her curse. Some point, though. It was an easy, commitment to make. “I also think I’ve taken up more than enough of your time, as pleasant as it has been to get to know you better.” She smiled, looking at the painting one more time. “I am truly happy for you and Deirdre. I’m glad you have each other.” I hope it stays that way. Deirdre didn’t need more heartbreak. As Lydia showed Morgan to the door, she thought that Deirdre wasn’t the only one like that, either.

#wr lydia #wr chatzy #wr lydia chatzy #wr deirdre #what are friends for

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lovehaswonangelnumbers · 4 years

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New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/intuitive-astrology-aquarius-full-moon-august-2020/

Intuitive Astrology: Aquarius Full Moon August 2020

By Tanaaz

The Aquarius Full Moon lights up the sky on August 3-4th, 2020, welcoming us to the month and the building energies of the Lionsgate Portal.

Full Moons are always illuminating things, helping us to see a bigger truth and to expand our way of thinking.

If things have felt foggy or unclear, this Full Moon calls for us to look again, for perhaps this time, we will receive the answers we are looking for.

The planet of awakening and change, Uranus, is very active under this Full Moon.

Uranus is the ruler of Aquarius, but it is also making a square or 90-degree alignment with the Sun at the time of the Full Moon. This alignment with Uranus triggers things in our lives to feel shaky and unsteady.

We may notice things moving and shifting around us, causing us to feel uncertain and unstable. It may be hard to know what to trust and what direction to choose.

When this level of shaky uncertainty enters our life, it allows us to see what is weak and needs to fall, and what is strong. Whatever withstands the shaking remains, whatever was already weak will fall away.

This energy is not there to upset our lives, rather it is there to help us remove and let go of the things no longer meant for us.

Most of us know when it’s time to let go of something or someone, but sometimes it can be hard to do so.

The shake-up from this Full Moon will help us to gently let go of these things, and to remind us that we need not hold on in fear.

What are you holding on to out of fear? What thoughts, beliefs, people, circumstances are you gripping onto?

This Full Moon asks you to clear the way. It asks you to shake up your beliefs, your ideas, your circumstances, so you can see what needs to remain.

Under this Aquarius Full Moon energy, it is better to let things shake and fall where they may, rather than trying to control.

If we surrender and go with the flow, we can allow the Universe to show us the way with grace in our hearts.

This shaky energy from Uranus also serves another purpose – awakening our soul energy.

When things shake and rattle us, it causes us to see things in a new light and to feel differently about ourselves and the world we live in. This can trigger an awakening, and a coming into new knowledge and wisdom.

Uranus shakes us to awaken us, and to show us a new and higher path.

Uranus also rules over Kundalini energy, which is seen as a serpent that lives at the base of our spine.

When our Kundalini energy rises, as it does when we are under the presence of Uranus, the snake uncoils itself, traveling up the energy centers of the body, all the way to the top of our head and beyond.

When the snake awakens, we can learn new things, see new things, and experience life at a different frequency.

We can all activate our own Kundalini awakening under this energy by setting an intention and tuning in. This is not something we can force, but something we can allow and welcome if we feel it right to do so.

This awakening and activating energy will also be supported by the opening of the Lionsgate Portal.

The Lionsgate Portal opens every year and peaks by August 8th, however the energy will already be brewing at the time of this Full Moon.

As the Sun reaches the peak of Leo Season and we have Sirius, our Spiritual Sun high in the sky, Lionsgate is activated, sending messages, downloads, and insights to Earth.

The August Full Moon will help to illuminate these energies as they grow, and if we tune in, we may start receiving downloads, intuitive wisdom, or even new ideas and inspirations to guide us on our way.

This is beautiful energy to tap into, and one that can advance us further on our path.

If you have questions, if you are looking for new wisdom, if you want to stretch your mind to new heights, reach higher under the light of this Full Moon.

Open yourself to the energy and allow information to flood in. Very often on a Full Moon, we like to dictate what we wish to release or call in, but this energy calls for us to get still and enter a place of allowing.

If we quiet our mind, and reach beyond our knowing, we may find new information and downloads easier to receive.

We all have the power to receive these downloads, so go out under the light of the Moon. Look at it shining bright in the sky. Ask for it to bring you wisdom; ask for it to send its ancient messages straight into your being.

Open to the downloads you receive, trust your abilities, and be patient if things start to move and shake.

As we shake, we let go of the things no longer meant for us, we clear out things that were weak and crumbling.

After the pieces have landed where they may, we will feel renewed, restored, and awakened with a greater knowing of who we are and where we need to be.

******

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bcbdrums · 5 years

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I finally get to get YOU this time!! *evil laughs* 56 & 34

I’m not sure how well I did answering the prompts, but I sure had fun writing it. I really challenged myself not to do the cliché thing and go with something less familiar to me. I imagine this fic occurring shortly before “Graduation.”

34. The feel of fingers brushing by accident.

56. Someone accepting the bad parts of you without judging.

—

[As the Images Unwind]

“I want to watch my movie first,” Drakken said, watching with an anxious eye as Shego popped a VHS into the player.

“Nope. Mine first.”

“But Shego…”

“Nuh-uh. I go to karaoke with you, you watch movies with me. My rules,” she said firmly.

“But…we watched yours first last time!” he pleaded.

She walked back to the sofa and plopped down, using the remote controller to fast-forward through the previews. “And you fell asleep in thirty minutes! You always fall asleep, and we never even get to my movie. So, mine’s first.”

Drakken fidgeted with the edge of the blanket he had wrapped around his shoulders and looked down at his striped pajamas and fuzzy slippers. He did sort of plan to fall asleep on movie nights…

With a sigh he sat down and crossed his legs, wiggling around until he was perfectly cozy. Shego—wearing an oversized green t-shirt that fell off her shoulder and pink pajama pants—picked up the oversized bowl of popcorn from the coffee table and set it between them.

“It’s not another…scary one, is it?” he asked, looking at her anxiously.

She shot him a grin. “For an evil genius like you? Nah.”

Drakken blinked. His face slowly morphed into a scowl. “You’re mocking me, aren’t you.”

“Of course not. You’re gonna love this. It’s ready now, stop talking,” she said as she hit stop, and then play.

———

Drakken was gullible.

One of the major perks of her job was the freedom to torment her boss, and she took unending pleasure out of doing so.

For two week’s worth of movie nights, she had naturally chosen movies she was interested in. And all were full of explosions, action, and blood. Drakken cowered and whimpered the entire time if he even made it through them, and while she was annoyed, his continued belief when she lied and told him her movies wouldn’t be scary were worth it all.

She had started seriously taking advantage of this particular weakness of his after his kidnapping at Area 51. For four days she had him convinced that a mole on his back was actually an alien parasite, and only revealed her deception when in a panic he had been about to take a laser to it in a mirror.

He had been red-faced in embarrassment and anger while she rolled on the floor with laughter. His upset made it all the better, and she actively looked for more ways to get his blood pressure to rise.

———

“Aaahhhh!”

Drakken’s cry of fear sounded next to her ear only a moment before the hard, painful crash of his cheekbone against hers. Popcorn flew up in front of her eyes, hitting her face and lap on its way down as his arms wrapped so tightly around her she couldn’t breathe.

“You said it wasn’t scary!!” he shouted in terror, and she leaned away from the pain of the volume.

“Let go!” she choked out, gasping for breath the instant he moved. His blanket had fallen on her and she stood up, shaking popcorn off of it and out of her hair. “Look at this mess!!” she shouted back at him as he slunk back into a corner of the couch.

“You said it wasn’t scary,” he whimpered.

“Yeah, and you’re gullible,” she moaned, pausing the movie. “I’m going to make some more popcorn.”

She picked up the empty bowl, wasted popcorn crunching under her feet as she stomped away toward the kitchen. Drakken stared for a moment and then scurried after her.

“It’s my fault. I’ll do it,” he said.

———

Shego was capricious.

What shoes should she wear, what color should she paint her nails, should she go to Greece or Sicily on her next vacation… And why on earth was she asking him?

Drakken had put two popcorn bags in the microwave, like he had before the movies started. But thirty seconds into the cycle Shego started complaining.

“Make three bags, this movie’s long.”

Drakken was still shaking from his fright—so much blood—and ignored her as he made up a fresh batch of his butter sauce on the stove.

“Helloooo in there, Dr. D.? I said make three bags.”

“Maybe I’m not that hungry…” he grumbled.

“Yeah, well you have to help eat it so I can keep my waistline,” she said, reaching over his shoulder and stopping the microwave.

“I’m only making sauce for two bags,” he said with a frown, stirring in the minced garlic.

Shego had opened the microwave and was tossing in a third bag of popcorn alongside the two slightly puffed ones.

“Then make more,” she said, closing the microwave.

Drakken stopped stirring and turned to her. “You can’t start it over or the first two bags will burn. Take them out and do that one separately.”

Amazingly, she didn’t argue and made to follow his instructions. But upon touching the hot bags she drew her fingers back with a hiss.

“Eh. Two’s enough,” she said, pulling the unused bag out and continuing the microwave cycle.

Drakken rolled his eyes and went back to his sauce. He began softly humming as a tune came to his mind.

“Do we have stuff for milkshakes?”

“Why don’t you look?” he said, and continued his humming.

Shego opened both the fridge and freezer and began perusing the contents. “We’re out of strawberries…”

“Go figure.”

“Hmmm… I want…piña colada.”

The microwave beeped, and Drakken took out the hot steaming bags and began emptying them into the bowl. His butter sauce was perfect and would be ready to mix in in seconds. And then he fully registered what Shego was asking.

“If we stop to make milkshakes now, the popcorn won’t taste as good.”

“It’s too hot. I want something cold to go with it.”

Drakken pursed his lips, but decided it wasn’t worth the argument.

“All right. You mix the sauce into the popcorn. And only use a pinch of salt!”

“Sheesh. I won’t mess it up, Chef Ramsay.”

Drakken moved quickly, pulling out everything for a piña colada milkshake. He preferred blueberry himself, but he really wanted to taste the popcorn at its best and so would make the sacrifice on his milkshake flavor this time.

He started pouring the coconut milk into the blender when—

“Actually on second thought…I’m in a blueberry mood.”

Drakken clenched his teeth together tightly. He set the coconut milk down and looked over at the giant bowl of popcorn that Shego was lazily stirring with a wooden spoon. He reached over and grabbed a handful and shoved it in his mouth and began humming again as he chewed. The garlic ratio was perfect…

“Hey, what are you doing?”

He poured the coconut milk back into the can and ignored her. Wonderful would be the day when she could just make up her mind…

He ignored her as he got started on a double portion of blueberry shakes. At least he would enjoy that.

“What are you humming? It sounds familiar?”

Drakken smirked.

Shego picked up a single piece of popcorn and chewed on it slowly, waiting.

“It’s from an Italian opera. Rigoletto.”

“Have you sung this at karaoke?”

“No. It’s…too hard for me,” he admitted at the cadence.

Shego’s brow rose. “Oh. What’s it called?”

Drakken’s smirk grew. “La donna e mobile.”

She ate another piece of popcorn. “Uh, translation please? Why is this bowl only half-full…”

Drakken faced her, crossing his arms. “It means ‘the woman is fickle.’”

Shego’s eyes widened for a long moment before narrowing in fury.

“I know you don’t mean to imply that about me.”

Drakken clasped his hands under his chin and batted his eyes, mimicking her voice. “'Should I bring the green bathing suit or the green and black? Never mind, I don’t want a $5,000 vacation to Fiji after all even though the airline tickets are non-refundable.’”

He barely had time to react as she shoved the bowl of popcorn in his face, throwing his hands up just in time. He clutched it close to him and bent forward, saving most of the freshly dressed snack as she stalked away.

“Do you still want blueberry?” he called after her.

He cringed at the curses she shouted back at him.

———

Drakken was immature.

He was as bad as her brothers, every one of them. His only redeeming quality was that he was evil.

Well, that and he actually listened to her when he was about to do something stupid. Most of the time. And he took actual security measures in their lairs.

But his hissy-fits and dramatic meltdowns would be enough to drive her over the edge, if she didn’t have a luxurious salary and a contractual license to mock.

Drakken came in a few minutes later with the popcorn bowl under his arm and milkshakes in hand. She didn’t wait for him to sit before pressing play on the movie again, leaning from left to right as he carefully picked his way through the spilled popcorn in front of her.

“Just step on it,” she said.

“Only if you clean it up tomorrow.”

She crossed her arms and focused on the movie, ignoring the blue man to her right who was again cowering.

Onscreen the hero had just gunned down multiple terrorists in blood-spattering furor whilst performing several acrobatic stunts that looked challenging even for her. The hero—a very well-muscled actor—then kicked down the door where the foreign diplomat was held hostage only find that he was too late. The terrorists had sliced the man’s throat and disemboweled him, leaving his dead body chained to a pole and the bloody evidence on the floor around him in a five-foot radius.

Shego grinned and shoved a handful of popcorn in her mouth. Now this was entertainment.

“Shego!”

She turned to see Drakken hiding under his blanket, only one eye peeking out through a small hole he had created.

“Can we…please watch my movie first?” he asked, his voice shaking.

She frowned. “This isn’t as fun without someone to analyze the strategies with.”

“I know, and…I want to. But please… I promise I’ll stay awake.”

He had started to emerge from his blanket-nest, and she took in his wide eyes, tense shoulders, and trembling lower-lip.

“Are you actually afraid of this?”

He pulled the blanket over his shoulders again. “They…mutilated him,” he said with childlike horror.

Shego closed her eyes in annoyance. “Oy. Fine. We’ll watch yours first.”

Drakken leapt out of his nest and hurried over to the VCR, his face brightening instantly. Shego shook her head and sipped at her milkshake—oh, was it delicious!

How a man his age who committed so much violence himself could be afraid of a little fake gore was beyond her. But he was immature in everything.

“You know Doc, one of these days you’re going to have to grow up.”

He stuck his tongue out at her over his shoulder.

“Excuse me if I prefer my movies more light-hearted.”

Shego looked at the video jacket he tossed aside. The picture was of a couple embracing.

“Oh no, if this is some sappy romance I’m going to bed.”

“It’s a heist movie, Shego. You’ll like it. The romance is just a subplot.”

Shego sat forward and crossed her legs on the sofa. “What’s with you and the romances anyway? It’s not like you ever go in for that stuff in real life.”

Drakken crossed his arms and held his chin up as he returned to the sofa. “I had something special with DNAmy, if you recall.”

“Pshyeah, for like a day. And you cried like a baby when she dumped you and you…you didn’t even really like her! You were only interested in her lair.”

“I did so!” Drakken frowned. “And she liked me too. She saved me from her lizard beast, risking her life for me. Something you failed to do, and you get paid for it.”

“What are you talking about? I save you all the time.”

“Not from that monster. You bailed out of the hover car and left me to crash!”

“Can’t come back to save you if I’m dead. Besides, it was wayyy more fun watching you whine while Amy talked about her actual boyfriend. I mean, you totally fell for her stupid smiles and fake flattery and… Oh man, she played you so hard!”

Drakken’s smugness melted away entirely, and he burrowed into his blanket again and sipped from his milkshake. Shego’s belittling continued until she was laughing, and finally he exploded.

“A real friend wouldn’t make fun of my romantic misadventures, Shego!”

“That wasn’t a romance. It was a schoolyard crush!”

Drakken huddled away from her in the corner of the sofa and pressed play on the remote.

“Shut up.”

“Big baby.”

The movie thankfully opened with an immediate jump into action, an elaborately plotted theft of priceless jewels setting up the main character and his motivations. It silenced Shego for several minutes, but it wasn’t long before the love interest was introduced and she was back to complaining.

“This is boring.”

“It’s a romantic subplot,” Drakken said, eating a few pieces of popcorn.

“It’s the whole plot. The heist is just the thing they have in common!”

“Well it’s your fault for lying to me about your movie not being scary.”

———

Shego was dishonest.

It wasn’t just the movies, which come to think of it, had been scary every week… But it was anything and everything as it suited her whims, as long is it gave her what she wanted.

It had started small, when she told him that no, his new lab coat didn’t make him look fat. But then after Dementor made fun of him at the next HenchCo convention and he questioned her again, she merely smiled and shrugged. As if his reputation meant nothing!

The worst was when she had claimed to be on vacation but instead was giving Senor Senior Junior lessons in villainy. He had been furious. She was using his money to aid other villains, helping them to be successful when she should have been helping him.

He gave her a sidelong glance as he shoved more popcorn in his mouth. She was frowning at the movie.

He was beginning to wonder if she actually thought he was evil. She said he was whenever he asked, but she never said it convincingly…

“Um. Shego?”

“This movie is stupid,” she burst out suddenly.

He blinked. “I picked it for—”

“You’re just gonna fall asleep. I’m switching back to my movie.”

“No!” he shouted, clutching the remote to his chest and frowning deeply.

She raised an agitated brow at him.

His ire had been raised by the thought that she may not think him evil, and that she had been laughing at his ‘immaturity’ as she called it. He didn’t consider being in touch with one’s feelings immature.

“My movie!” he insisted.

She stared him down for several seconds before giving up in a grunt of disgust and slumping on the sofa. Drakken sighed in relief and continued eating popcorn, with his oh-so-delicious butter recipe.

———

Drakken was stubborn.

And it was so much more than movie night, and karaoke night, and bowling night. He insisted on plots to take over the world that had been proven to fail in the past.

The brainwashing shampoo was one of them. He still had the entire back-stock of it taking up half of a storage room, ‘just in case’ he said every time she brought it up. The memory of their other failings with mind control made her shudder. She hated mind control.

But the worst were the killer robots. Robots had been his Achilles heel since before he was evil, and he was still coming up with new schemes for them. After the Smarty Mart stockbots failure she was sure he had a screw loose.

Shego realized she was tensing up and began taking slow, deep breaths. He wasn’t worth getting this worked up over. But everything was getting on her nerves after his crack about her being indecisive.

Whenever she got this worked up over his idiotic ideas she would usually up and leave for a vacation. But she had already used up all of her time for that month, and didn’t want to dip into next month just yet.

Onscreen, the main characters were in their second ‘witty flirting’ phase of the relationship. It was completely shallow, and she wanted to gag.

“Yeah…I’m done with this. I’ve seen exactly five minutes of criminal activity and twenty-five minutes of romance.”

“Shego, I promise it’s a heist movie. They’re just establishing all of the characters.”

She leaned over the popcorn bowl and grabbed for the remote, but he dodged her and stuck his tongue out at her, holding it high above his head.

“You lied about the scary movie. We’re watching mine first!”

She lunged again and the popcorn bowl slid down his blanket like a slide and under the coffee table. He rose up on his knees and held the remote farther away.

“I’m not sitting through another an hour and a half of this. Give it here!”

“No!”

She tackled him against the arm of the sofa and reached for the remote a third time. His back cracked as her full weight fell on his chest and he huffed as the wind was knocked out of him, but he still didn’t yield.

Nose to nose, they exchanged furious glares for several seconds before she slowly backed off of him and smirked. He only had a moment to look worried before she shot a small green blast into his stomach. He yelped in pain and the remote went flying as he grabbed at the stinging wound, and she caught it deftly.

“Finally,” she said, switching the cassettes back with a satisfied smile.

Drakken frowned deeply at her back as he rubbed his injured belly with one hand and pulled his blanket up with the other. He was in for a painful night.

———

Shego was cruel.

Drakken had long since gotten used to the pain of her glow, but he was still taken by surprise each time she used it against him. For everything he did for her, she seemed worse than ungrateful. She seemed to relish in using him and then making him suffer in the knowledge of it.

For years he’d chalked it up to her villainous personality. They were evil, after all. But they were supposed to take over the world together, and her behavior was sometimes…counterproductive.

He’d realized that not even their contract mattered to her when she’d left him in prison twice. She was more than willing to join other villains if it satisfied her drive for mayhem, and she was even willing to prevent him from certain victory. And more than that, she made fun of him while doing so.

Peace officers and vigilante teenagers may thwart his plans, but that was nothing compared to Shego’s many betrayals, always issued with a smirk.

And yet…here he was, insisting she join him for movie night.

Screams of agony and the retort of machine guns sounded from the TV speakers, but he didn’t watch. He curled up in the corner and closed his eyes, sleep the only possible escape.

“'Fraidy cat,” he heard, as he drifted off.

———

When Drakken next opened his eyes his attention was arrested by soft jazz music. He peered out from behind his blanket and saw Shego was exactly where she’d been when he willed himself asleep to hide from her movie, but now she was watching his movie. The popcorn bowl was back on the couch, and nearly empty as she lazily scooped a handful out.

He slowly straightened up, wiping the sleep from his eyes, and she gave him a brief glance.

“Thought you didn’t like romantic movies,” he said hoarsely.

“Shut up. I’m tired,” she said quietly.

Drakken settled down and focused his attention on the moving picture in front of him. His eyes slowly widened as he absorbed the present action and felt a blush rapidly creeping up his cheeks. The so-called romantic subplot was still in the lead and the main characters had arrived at…third base? Home run?

He considered asking Shego for the correct slang, but was far too embarrassed, digging his fingers into the scant remains of the popcorn instead. He would wake up to an actor’s naked butt under a soft-filter moving very suggestively and miss all the real good parts of his movie.

He reached idly for the popcorn again, mostly burned kernels now, and felt around for some something of more substance. His search stopped suddenly when he felt the delicate brush of small fingertips against his, and he froze.

He glanced at where his and Shego’s hands met briefly before looking up and meeting her eyes. Inexplicably, heat rose around his pajama collar and he pulled away in a hurry, wiping his fingers against his flannel.

Shego smirked. “What’s the matter Doc? Too much action for you?”

An ill-timed moan from the actress onscreen made him blush further and he stared away into the dark corner of the room.

“Your fingers are greasy from the butter,” he argued. “How did you eat that much popcorn anyway?”

“I told you to make three bags,” she said, and he saw her shrug out of the corner of his eye.

A sudden strange licking sound forced his eyes back to the screen in curiosity, but the movie wasn’t the source. He turned to see Shego licking the remnants of butter and garlic from her fingers in a way that…something told him was far too slow and deliberate.

“Hnghh… Can you not do that while…while that’s going on?” he snapped, gesturing at the screen.

She froze at his outburst, the tip of her middle finger still touching her puckered lips. She looked confused for a moment, and then her face flushed in anger.

“You creep!” she said, shoving him roughly off the sofa. His tailbone hit the ground hard and he rubbed it as he cowered under her verbal abuse. “At least I don’t wipe my greasy fingers on my pajamas! Ugh, you can be so gross.”

He climbed wordlessly back onto the sofa, wondering why he had let himself get so distracted. The movie action had shifted—thankfully back to the main plot—and he curled his knees to his chest and forced himself to focus.

He wished he hadn’t been asleep for so much of it, seeing how when it did spend time on the crimes it was in great detail, and he could have been taking notes for potential future plots. The movie was more than half over now, and as it went on he failed to understand Shego’s complaint. Yes the romance was prominent, but the villain was wooing the woman over to the wrong side of the law. Surely that was a redeeming quality?

“This is so fake,” she said suddenly.

Apparently not.

“Those two would never last in real life. How two people can be so attracted together when they have so many flaws is ridiculous.”

Drakken leaned his head back and glanced at her. “What do you mean?”

“He doesn’t care how much money he wastes, he keeps secrets from her, and he’s not really in it for evil. He’s just bored. And she has an anger problem, she has no trust, and she’d clearly cheat on him if she thought he was cheating on her.”

Drakken hadn’t been paying attention to any of those things and considered them. Yes…okay, she had points. But the fictional couple were clearly in love. Surely they could get past those things?

“People with so many flaws like that will never stay together,” she concluded, crossing her arms and leaning back to mirror his tired pose.

“We stick together,” he said quietly. His eyes suddenly widened. Where had that come from?

He turned his head to find her watching him, apparently analyzing his statement.

“Yeah, but we’re not a couple, Doofus.”

He sat up again, crossing his legs under him. “One could say…we’re better than a couple. Because we don’t have any…ulterior motives keeping us together.”

Shego sat up and turned to face him, likewise crossing her legs. She looked curious now.

“After all. No sane man would maintain a woman as changeable and deceitful and heartless as you,” he said, tossing a few pieces of popcorn into his mouth.

He looked back at her and his eyes widened. That had been the wrong thing to say.

“I’m…what?” she hissed.

“You’re…well…well you’re mean, Shego!” he said, going all-in.

“Puh. And you think you’re some kind of saint, here? Well I’ve got news for you, Dr. D.” She rose up on her knees to glare down at him, hands on her hips. “You’re the biggest sucker that ever walked the earth, and you’re bullheaded and childish. You’re nothing but an overgrown two-year old! You’re lucky I stick with you!”

He held his metaphorical ground against her and met her gaze full-on.

“Why?”

“…What?”

He frowned. “Why don’t you just leave like you’re always threatening to? If I’m such a…pathetic loser, if my personality doesn’t jive with your image, why are you here?”

He regretted the words as they flew out of his mouth, but for some reason he couldn’t stop himself. And he realized when he finished and they were left staring at each other it was because…he really wanted an answer. He knew he wasn’t perfect. He knew he should have a stronger constitution at the sight of blood and that he was far too trusting and that his drive to succeed sometimes bordered on insanity, but…he couldn’t change all at once!

Second passed, and he couldn’t read Shego’s expression.

“Well?” he probed, his heart pounding in fear. Certainly this night would end with him having driven her off once and for all. He was surprised then when she turned the question around on him.

“Why don’t you fire me then, if I’m too evil for your taste?”

He blinked twice and sat back against the sofa again, feeling heat under his collar again. He actually knew this one.

He kept her around because, really…he didn’t care. No matter how much she manipulated and belittled him or wasted his time and money or even blasted him with her green glow, he was…happier with her than without her. The brief severance of their contract after the ‘Warmonga incident’ had shown him that in painful clarity.

He swallowed nervously. “I…I guess it doesn’t…really bother me.”

She sat back on her heels and shook her head at him. “Then why are you making such a big deal out of it?”

He frowned at her. “You’re the one making a big deal. If I’m…such a baby, why don’t you quit?”

In a very rare occurrence, he found himself winning their battle of wills as the tension began to fall out of her shoulders. She didn’t say anything, but continued to look at him as her anger faded into a mix of perplexity and entreating.

She seemed to want him to understand something, but from the look on her face it seemed she didn’t understand it herself. And then his expression opened up as revelation suddenly struck.

For all of her insults and complaints against him…could it be that his weaknesses didn’t really bother her, either?

She apparently arrived at the same conclusion as she bit her lip and turned away, a faint blush on her cheeks. He felt a strange and unfamiliar warmth blooming in his chest as he stared at her, her eyes fixed on the TV again.

“Agh, we’re missing the last heist!” she complained.

He looked at the run time on the VCR and saw that there were only five minutes left in the movie. He settled down and watched as the criminal pulled off an impossible feat, somehow escaping with a rare jewel that had been inside a sealed room, and one that his love interest had made known she wanted.

“I knew it was just about the romance,” Shego complained as the screen showed the woman running after the man, apparently ready to abandon her life for his.

“I like happy endings…” he grumbled, still not quite sure where their oddly halted fight left them.

He felt around in the popcorn bowl again for something more than kernels. He finally arrived at one large perfectly popped piece and was about to take it, when Shego found it too. He looked up at her as they were in the same situation again, her fingertips feather-light against his and the contact sending cool tingles up his wrist.

He didn’t yank his hand away this time when their eyes met, and he found her expression unreadable. He didn’t like it. Why was she looking at him like that? What did it mean?

Then without warning, she leaned closer to him and fluttered her eyelashes, lowering her voice to a sultry tone.

“Come here often?” she teased.

He whirled away with a frown, his face growing hot yet again. What was wrong with her? What was wrong with him?

“I’m going to bed,” he said, gathering up his blanket and stomping away to his room, missing the final passionate embrace of the couple onscreen.

Shego rolled her eyes and turned back to the TV, dropping the last piece of popcorn in her mouth and then licking the butter from her fingers.

“Maybe sometimes I like happy endings too…” she muttered.

-fin-

#kim possible #drakken #shego #drakgo #dragko #drakken x shego #shego x drakken #fanfiction #fanfic #writing prompt #bcbdrums

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angel-scythe · 6 years

Text

I need you : Chapter 4

Chapter 4, yeah!!

After the really tense situation of the last chapter, will Niles and Gavin be together or... not?

Do they really need each other?

Discover it by smashing the door or the “keep reeding” if you’re interest !!

| °|

The GV200 hated him. Here we are! He hated that phckin’ Human! He was stupid, mean and he couldn’t stand to take care of him like that. He was just a child and keeping an eye on him was awful. Phck, he was destroying his circuits for him and that asshole threw him away? Let that jackass die somewhere. He didn’t care! He was free now. He just needed to flee very away because he didn’t know if Connor wouldn’t warn CyberLife. He could go in Canada. Canada would be perfect though he won’t stand people over there.

But the GV200 also knew Niles was sick… He was really upset because of his mother and he was in a big distress. That doesn’t excuse what he did but that explained it. And in a case like this one, Niles needed to have someone near him.

Yes, maybe, but he also treated him like shit and now he was feeling bad! For five days, he gave everything he had for that asshole and that was the way he thanked him? He threw him like a stupid object? He couldn’t stand that. Never again!

The Android passed a bus stop and frozen. He turned around and walked toward the building. He was stupid! He couldn’t leave.

Then the words rang in his head and he stopped again. What he said… about the tube, about the fact he was better without him. Ah screw that Human! He turned and passed the bus stop. He needed to leave, to run, to be free for ever. Ever! He didn’t want to be bond to anyone. He’d better be alone! Finally! Running in the street was nice!

A dog barked when he passed by and he quickly paced back. Oh God! He looked around and suddenly the town looked awful. And when he saw the cop at the crosswalk, he felt bad. He didn’t have a place. And what would he do in Canada? He hated Canada! He paced backward and turned around to quickly walk toward the building. They could do something. He could just ask to stay there. They would never talk again. But he needed to stay somewhere.

He stopped. No. No, he couldn’t do that. What he was doing? He couldn’t be an object once again! He couldn’t stand to be treated that way! Phck you Niles Stern. He turned…

And then froze. Wait… if he had his tracker? How to remove it? How to be sure to stay free?

But will he be free if he stayed with Niles?

He was pretty free! If he went back there, he’ll ask for more free time… Ugh, he had already a lot. But he’ll use more of his money! There!

Wait… No. No, he couldn’t do that… The bitch will certainly talk to the authority and he will be pushed out. He will be once again in that damn tube. Run away! He needed to run away.

Someone bumped on him.

“You move? Don’t stay there!”

The GV200 looked around and saw he was once again at that bus stop. How many time did he passed by? It was enough! He needed to leave!

Needed? Niles needed him. He said it yesterday and he really believed those words because they were said in a so soft tone. He couldn’t give up on him… And somewhere, he hoped Niles wouldn’t give up on him too… Phck! The GV200 rushed to the building, as fast as he could… and it was pretty fast, in fact.

When he arrived in front of the building, he could see a bunch how people around something.

“Move!” he commanded, wanting to go to the doors.

“G… Gavin?”

The Android blinked and pushed wildly the people, rushing toward the tiny voice.

“Ga… vin!”

He saw Niles, blood and bruises everywhere but with a smile on his lips. A damn smile!

The people were talking around them and he even didn’t hear them. He didn’t care about them because he realized what the guy had done.

“You… You did that for me?” he asked, feeling stupid.

Niles nodded.

“Phck!” Gavin walked to him and took him in his arms, making him moan. “I’ll take care of that” He moved toward the door, not listening to the guys around asking him how he could let his boyfriend in that state. “Wait… I’ve a condition to come back.”

“Wh... What?”

The GV200 could see how much he was destroyed. Seeing how much he was willing to give him everything…

“You’ll take one mug by day.”

“Can you share it with me?”

Could he destroy his circuits for him? For this man who said he didn’t need him, was better without hum and that he should go back to his tube? For the same man who hurt himself so much to reach him.

“Of course,” he said.

“Thank you. I don’t deserve you,” he muttered when they were crossing the door.

It was the depression talking but also himself. Gavin came back! And for what if for him? At least… he wanted to believe it…

“Yeah, you don’t deserve me! I’m phckin’ perfect!” the Android giggled. “Still… You’re the Human I chose!”

“Is it that now?” Niles coughed. After all this anger, all this effort, his voice started to be husky. He needed to calm a bit…

“It is that, now!”

The man pressed his head against his shoulder.

“Okay.” He looked down and said under his breath. “I need you… Don’t let me tear us apart…”

“Roger!” Gavin said, climbing the stairs.

“But I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Yeah, but you already did it. Now, you’ll live with that.”

“I know…” Niles wanted to say sorry.

He could remember the time where he never apologized, except to Connor and his mother. He was such a jackass. No wonder why he hated himself…

“Bath is ready.”

Niles blinked.

There were moments where time seemed to pass by. He just… wasn’t there anymore. His mind crumbled on himself and there, with the exhausting coming from the efforts, it was even worse.

The efforts, tss…

“I’m coming…”

“Yeah! Show me how you come to me!” Gavin seemed happy and he smiled in such a warm way.

The man felt shameful. He scratched one of the wound, seeing the blood coming back…

“I crawled.”

Gavin crouched in front of him. “Crawling? No wonder why you look like that. You totally deserve all the bubble I foamed for you!”

“I don’t think so.”

Niles felt so bad, so tired, so awful. He still hadn’t said sorry, for example. Neither explained everything. And why he felt even more awful? He wanted, needed, to be with Gavin. In that bath.

“Come there.”

The Android took him in his arms and moved to the bathroom. He sat him in the floor, like yesterday, and even helped him to undress.

“Come with me.”

Niles hated him so much. But it was so powerful, he couldn’t hate him more so why not just ask what he needed?

“You can’t take your bath alone?”

The Human had a weak chuckle full of sadness and nervousness, making Gavin jump.

“Don’t cry!!”

“Okay…”

“Look! I’m undressing for you!”

Niles couldn’t help but giggle a bit. “I don’t know what I would do without you…” He didn’t even look him but he felt so bad. And yet… his heart was warm.

“I knooow. I’m too perfect!” Gavin bent to take him in his arms and walked to the bath. “You didn’t need me to get out. And you lived without me.”

Niles let out a little sigh of pleasure when he was in the warm water.

So good…

He pressed his head against the Android’s shoulder. The soapy bubbles were coming in his wound and it was hurtful but there, he didn’t care. He deserved it anyway.

“The house was a mess before you. You saw it. And I get out because of you. Don’t argue, I’ll stop talking, my throat hurt me.”

Gavin laughed.

“Damn!”

The Android took the washcloths, then the soap, and started to pass the cloth all over the human body.

“Is it okay?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“So…” Gavin said at his ear. “You talk.”

Niles decided to not reply. His throat was really hurt. The Android seemed to get it and he didn’t press too much. He didn’t want to hurt the man. He didn’t want to say it to him because he was a bit bold but… he was happy to be with him.

Since the Android had done wash the Human, he put down the washcloths and checked he had correctly wash him before starting moving to get up.

“Can I stay?” Niles asked.

“In the bath?”

“Yes. The water is soothing…”

So the Android took of the cork and add warm water.

Niles felt better as soon as the hot liquid came against his thigh. Perfect.

“You’re waterproof, isn’t it?”

“If I wasn’t, you’ll be already dead.”

“Hm…” Niles didn’t say loud that he wished. And dying here seemed nice…

“I can stay in the water with you,” he said. “But I’d like you to say to me one thing you did without me today.”

“Why?”

“Because you did some things. Think about it,” Gavin said before putting back the cork.

Niles didn’t reply, thinking. He couldn’t find the slightest think. Going to the bathroom this morning? He had crawled for that so that was ridiculous. Did he drink? No… he needed the Android to help him. And without Gavin, he wouldn’t have the strength to get out so, seriously…

He had cried by himself, hated himself… But that didn’t count.

“Eh?”

“Yes?”

“Is it okay if I put my hand on you?”

Niles opened his eyes. Gavin’s arms were out on the bench even if sometime his fingers went on the water.

“Yes. If you want to.”

The Android slid his hand in the warm liquid and let it on his belly. Niles closed his eyes again.

“I breathed.”

“Hm?”

“Without you. I breathed. Does that count?”

“Yes. It’s a good thing.” Gavin looked him. “Continue, okay? Everyday, find something.”

“Yeah…” Niles bit his lower lips. “Did you hear? What I am doing to my brother? I love him so much.”

The Android could hear how the man was forcing on his throat and he could have stopped him but the words were important so he just let him talk.

“I want him to be happy and I’m ruining him. He’s so nice… You saw him. You know it. And I…” He shivered. “Before you came, my mom asked me why I didn’t get my previous job back. Maybe I should… But I hate it…” He laughed with hate. “Damn! I can’t even get out from my house! Working?!” He shook, fighting to prevent news tears.

He was done of crying like a child…

“I want… I want to refund to Connor. I want to change… I want to be happy… I…”

He felt Gavin quivering. The Android hated when he cried. He even didn’t cry yet and he could feel the GV200 was bad…

“I need help.” He pressed his hand on his. “Help me, Gavin… Help me.”

“I’ll do my best. I’ll do all I can,” he swore.

He hugged him softly because he didn’t know what else to do. He just needed to be there for him.

#fanfiction #dbh #detroitbecomehuman #it's on ao3 #gavin reed #Connor rk900 #Nines #Gavin900 #900gavin #900reed #reed900 #gavin x nines #gavin x richard #i need you #Angst #depress

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wormothy · 6 years

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Here’s some ADHD and BPD moods (TW halfway down)

Not really sure how many of these are associated with the disorders but these are just some struggles of mine

(Boarderline not Bipolar)

There’s so much more but I feel like this post is too long already.

-needing to leave your room to do something but not wanting to leave your room until you finish everything you need to do in your room cos you know you’ll get distracted and never come back (I.E. I sleep with my dog and I need to let him out to pee in the morning but we have upstairs and downstairs. I need to shower and brush my teeth and get dressed and I know him peeing should take priority but I’m like. I’m never gonna shower and get in proper clothes if I leave my room rn, but this also Applies to when I study and I get hungry etc)

-talking too much

-cutting people off without meaning to in conversation

-not understanding social cues

-always worrying about other people’s feelings over my own protection

-words don’t make sense to me sometimes, I’m literally I’m a kinesthetic learner so I need to interact with things in order to actually learn it. Aka, I need to do the math problems in order to understand the formula I need to speak the words myself in order to absorb them

-lying impulsively in order to feel connected to people

-hungry but can’t find anything that sounds good except something you can’t have or is bad for you

-getting that one food your hyper focused on and ending up unsatisfied and not being able to eat

-going 10+ hours without eating “I feel weird. Huh.”

-going 10+ hours without using the bathroom “I’m. Uncomfortable?”

-covfee: makes you anxious AF but you also can’t function without it

-being really good at multitasking but also really bad at it. Aka needing the stimulation, enjoying the challenge of doing a ton of things but either never finishing them or screwing something up in the process

-I’m tired but I’m bored

-wanting to wake up early, successfully waking up early, spending 3 extra hours awake in your bed, getting out of bed the same time you always do. Dammit.

-having homework to do. Isn’t due for a week. Cool I have time. *now It’s due tomorrow* Alright. Really I’ll do it. After this round of games. *is too tired to do it* ill get up early and I’ll do it tomorrow. *morning of* finished project half assed in class 5 minutes before the due date. It’s always either A: I finish and the teacher doesn’t notice or B: I’m anxious because I didn’t finish and well I may as well drop out of class screw the refund screw the W my reputation is ruined.

-writing things down gives me anxiety, when I write to do lists and stuff it’s like they all become jumbled and nothing makes sense. The only way to organize my thoughts that doesn’t feel stressful is by having a bucket and foam cubes and fitting stuff inside the bucket. Don’t know why this is the only image for organizing and it won’t stop coming up. Idek if it’d actually work but my brain says I can’t be organized unless I do it that way.

-getting sudden bursts of inspiration and trying desperately to cram everything you can into those sudden bursts because they don’t last long

-overwhelming yourself because you have too many things to do

-becoming depressed because you suddenly realize you will never accomplish everything you want to

-suddenly realizing nothing is worth it because you won ever finish it and be satisfied

-having strong ideal and opinions and resolve and by the next day your ideals change and you can’t remember what it’s like to be the person from yesterday. Not disassociating but like, having the memories and the information of yesterday but not feeling connected to the ideals and not feeling the same way anymore

-insOmNia

-having unhealthy obsessions and feeling empty if I don’t indulge in them

-dysphoria: specifically gender dysphoria for me

-not having a solid personality, sometimes I’m an extrovert and don’t care what others think, sometimes I’m such an introvert I can’t stand social interactions and just need to be alone to heal

-thinking I have a solid sense of self and when my likes and dislikes suddenly change I go through an identity crisis. This happens at least twice a week.

-thinking I can cheer myself up by doing something that worked last time but since my personality is different I am no longer satisfied and I’m now frustrated because I can’t figure out how to make myself feel different

-uncontrollable emotions, why am I feeling this way why can’t I change it

-impulsivity: not even thinking about things before I do them, almost as if I didn’t know better but more like my body just isn’t trained think about the consequences before I do something, I just do it with uncontrollable ignorance

-having too many interests and not being able to give my all to one of them and feeling guilty that I can’t put my all into it and making myself so anxious I don’t want to do it anymore

-taking criticism too seriously because I think I’m super self aware and once someone hits it on the nail I’m mad that they called me out and I suddenly feel like everyone hates me because my weakness is showing

-Being self aware but telling myself that it’s enough to know what my problems are and deciding that I don’t need to work on them

-having a hard time planning things for the future

-getting frustrated because my brain works best last minute but last minute activities makes me anxious because I didn’t have time to mentally prepare myself for it. Aka I didn’t have time to think about how my social interactions would go so it’s like someone threw me in the deep end without telling me what water is.

-executive dysfunction: I want to do this but my body says no let’s do this useless activity for 45 hours straight

-replaying mistakes over and over until I hate myself for it

-messy rooms messy cars messy bathrooms: usually clean just, messy

-getting impulse piercings/hair cuts/hair dye

-buying clothes impulsively because I change my style so much and so often

-all or nothing mindset

-everything that’s out of sight is literally out of mind. I feel like I have to have everything within reach always.

-wasting time worrying about how it’s being spent

-being really sensitive to HOW people talk to me and HOW people interact physically, reading between lines that aren’t here, if someone asks me to do something in a weird tone I think about why they talked it me that way and sometimes decide I don’t want to do it just because the way they said it simply wasn’t how I would’ve appreciated.

-having an issue doing things someone else’s way, my way is the right way even though I know it usually isn’t

Trigger warning: self harm and anxiety

-social anxiety: Everyone is thinking bad thoughts about me and it’s my fault, I did something wrong

-social anxiety: if no one talks to me it means there’s something wrong with me que the crushing feeling against my lungs because I have no way to fix the situation

-feeling empty and wanting to lay down in the middle of traffic

-needing to feel something physical whether it be painful or not

-feeling like I need to hurt in order to start over IE cutting myself is like a fresh start

-getting so sensory overloaded that my brain shuts down and I can’t remember how to focus my eyes or move my legs (this has only happened twice, usually it’s less intense and more like I just can’t think of words, my processing shuts down)

-being so depressed you wish your bed could swallow you and you wish the world could just stop existing

#tw #aesthetic #depression #mood #grunge #love it #no filter #relatable #anxiety #boarderline #adhd #sensory overload #overstim #add #yikes #suicidal tw?#self harm tw #depression tw

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atakportal · 6 years

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If you want to strip off excess body fat and build impressive levels of endurance while rewiring your muscles with the kind of primal power and control that repairs joints and prevents injury…

This letter will show you how one Disabled Marine did it…

And how you can do it too, without any fancy equipment, and in less time than you might imagine.

Hi, my name is Helder Gomes. And I’m a Service-Connected Disabled Veteran. Yet you’d never guess it from watching me train.

In fact, some of my clients call me “The Super Soldier”.

I try not to let it go to my head. But secretly, I kind of like it.

Imagine being told your body will never be able to do what it used to. Not even come close. And that you’ll have to settle for a life of “soft, weak and tired”.

Then imagine the looks on their faces when you not only prove them wrong, but suddenly…

When the odds are stacked against you, you can’t help but bathe in victory just a little.

Super Soldier? That’s an Army thing. But, yeah… I’ll take it.

Anyway, what does this have to do with you?

I want to give you my “super soldier serum”.

If you’re willing to put it to the test, I believe it will change the way you train forever.

And when put to work, these “machines” will prove — beyond a shadow of a doubt — your body’s best years are yet to come.

This underscores an important point…

See, you don’t need expensive gym memberships, functional training “circus tricks”, or puke-inducing workouts to gain an advantage over other men.

No. With what I’m about to reveal, you can unlock the hidden power in even the most basic exercises to revitalize your body and build high levels of fitness… with less reps, and no matter your age.

You’ll unleash a level of inner strength and confidence you may not know you possess right now… even if It’s buried beneath years of wear and tear.

So, if you suspect you’ve stumbled onto something unlike anything you’ll ever hear about from your average clipboard-toting trainer, you’re right. In fact…

What you are about to discover is the same secret training method I’ve taught to some of…

These are some of the scariest dudes you’ll ever lay eyes on… who have high fitness standards to meet for their jobs, but can’t afford to be fatigued and sore all the time.

I’m talking about members of the leanest and meanest fighting groups in South America and Eastern Europe…

Special Operations Units in the Middle East…

And First Responders, fellow Devil Dogs and former Navy Seals back in the States.

They have the resources to train in any discipline they’d like. And yet, time and again they contract me out for days (to weeks) at a clip to pace them through my system.

Why? One dead-serious reason: they need one of the good guys to expose and eliminate their weaknesses before the “enemy” does.

It’s kind of crazy when you think about it…

You throw out all the “rules” that Average Fitness Joes live by.

Let me give you some perspective…

See, when your body starts falling apart you’re slower to get going in the morning… fighting more aches and pains throughout the day… setbacks come more frequently, and motivation to exercise gets harder and harder to come by.

It’s nearly impossible to stick to a program when you feel beat up and blue all the time.

Worst part is, this screws with your hormones, eating away at lean muscle mass, and packing fat around your midsection and sag around your chest.

I was headed down that path.

Take a look at this picture…

Just don’t be fooled by the smile, because…

First, my wife isn’t hugging me; she’s holding me up. That’s why we’re standing so far apart.

Second, I’m covered in sunscreen and shame. And only one of them was going to wash off.

Third, I’ve lost all sense of purpose in my life.

The Marines had long since classified me no longer “fit to serve”. I’d fallen from bad-ass to fat-ass. I was just waiting for the day my wife could no longer stand the sight of me and finally wise up and hit the bricks in search of a real man. And I saw nothing but darkness in my future.

I remember sitting there not too long after this photo was taken. Just staring at it. Thinking, “Man, what a certified piece of dogshit you’ve become.”

I couldn’t get through a night without waking up in a cold sweat. Couldn’t put on a shirt without feeling like my shoulder was being ripped out of the socket. I couldn’t even make it from my bedroom to the bathroom on my own two feet, most days.

I cringed at the thought of being the dad that has to sit back and watch as some other guy teaches his kid how to play sports, or how to defend himself, or how to be an honorable man.

Why am I telling you all this? Not for your pity. But, because it’s important you know where I’m coming from if my advice is going to mean anything to you (even if that means being transparent to the point of risking embarrassment). Anyway, it should be obvious that…

And it wasn’t for lack of trying either. I’d easily drop money I didn’t really have on books and dvds and trainers. But, even beginner or “easy” workouts turned out to be anything but. In fact…

A lot of it was actually doing me more harm than good.

Most programs seemed to be created for young, able bodies. And most trainers didn’t know what to do with a body that had limitations.

So just about anything I put my body through left me regretting it the next morning.

And the doctors? Their only answer for my shoulder was: “Try not to lift your arm too high”. Their solution for my knee was to stitch in parts from a dead man to replace the parts that were missing; and even then I was told I’d still never walk in total comfort…

They told me to take it easy.

And that “acceptance” was the first step towards happiness.

And a bunch of other head-shrink stuff. Well…

They obviously didn’t know who they were talking to.

Because, able-bodied or not…

No one could give me answers, so…

I went out and found them on my own.

I knew I needed to take my research “off-grid”, and…

…on the darker corners of the fitness and human performance world that I’d spend my days and nights.

And guess what I discovered?

At an unconventional strength seminar I tracked down a bear of a man known as “The Crazy Russian”… who exposed me to weird “mental tricks” to elevating your strength simply by changing the way you THINK about how your muscles move your body…

I studied somatic exercise and other therapeutic modalities… looking for secrets to rejuvenating a body that’s stopped responding to exercise the way it used to.

I even ran into this “off-the-wall” body worker who believed most personal trainers should be charged with gross negligence — if not physical abuse — for much of what they subject their clients to. But…

And hesitant as I was, I even threw myself into the martial arts… in hopes of uncovering how some of these guys keep kicking ass well into old age. And to my shock…

Punching arts, kicking arts, grappling arts… knife, stick and weapons fighting… all of them… had a very real “magic” of internal power and body control that…

This is just the tip of the iceberg.

Once I dove headlong into the rabbit hole, I found myself mixed up in some controversial exercise theories and strange body disciplines.

The kind of stuff you almost never hear about in the magazines or mainstream media. This is why…

Look, as a guy who was once a complete and total mess, I can tell you I’m pretty darn vigilant about what I subject my body to. So when I started experimenting with all the secrets I was digging up, I kept close track of how my body responded. And guess what?

But it gets better because…

I started doing things with my body that not only shocked the hell out of the doctors who told me my best days were behind me… but gave my “glory days” a run for their money.

Imagine their surprise when I ran the New York City Marathon.

Or when they saw videos of me tossing around kettlebells like they were softballs.

Or when they heard I was rolling around on the mat with champion martial artists.

Best of all, my friends and family were now looking at me with a newfound sense of pride and respect, instead of doubt and pity.

And it wasn’t long before guys started talking…

…and word spread through back channels and I was getting cryptic messages from some dangerous dudes who wanted a peak behind the curtain.

They wouldn’t take no for an answer. And yet…

When I started letting them in on it, they couldn’t believe the simplicity. But I told them…

After years of putting countless moves, methods and strategies under a microscope, I discovered the most powerful secrets all had one thing in common:

Well, the first step of this is a simple mental shift.

That’s because you can’t separate your muscles from your nervous system (not unless your a dead man). No…

The key in this first step is simply understanding that your nervous system CONTROLS your muscles. Like a puppet master, it’s pulling your muscles strings. And it dictates what they do and how they feel.

In other words, it determines your strength, flexibility and pain. In ways that most guys are normally NOT aware of.

Anyway, the second part of this is to…

You can think of it like the difference between hammering the gas for more acceleration, and fine-tuning your engine for greater horsepower.

This is why I named my secret training system the Precision Fitness Operator System (PFO-Sys for short).

See, I figured out there are three “Power Principles” that separate Average Fitness Joes (AFJs) from Precision Fitness Operators (PFOs)…

…and allow you to train like the puppet master, instead of the puppet… so you can eliminate weakness and build combat ready conditioning at any age.

They understand that your mind drives your movement. Not in some airy-fairy “woo woo” sense. The science is clear on this. So much so that studies have shown your brain can regulate force production without you ever having to move a muscle.

This is why mental imagery can cause strength gains, it’s also why certain lower body exercises can increase the strength of your upper body, or why stretching one limb can increase the flexibility of another (unstretched) limb. So…

While AFJs train their muscles, PFOs sharpen their neural drive, and train their brain to send stronger, clearer signals to their muscles, which translates to more muscle engagement by recruiting more muscle fibers (or getting the fibers to work more quickly and efficiently).

This “reprograms” your nervous system so it activates the right muscle fibers with greater precision… granting you better muscle contraction/relaxation balance… and developing a primal strength and control that AFJs may never know…

They understand that “unified movement” makes every exercise safer, more efficient and more powerful. Don’t misunderstand me. This isn’t about “whole body” versus “isolation” training. Think of it this way…

Every good fighter pilot runs through a pre-flight checklist, eyes and flips a bunch of switches before his mission is a “go” and we have lift off. Well, PFOs do something similar with their joints, breathing, muscle engagement and form before cranking out reps.

More, they know flipping the right “switches” on and off as you move through an exercise can be the difference between a “ok” rep and a power rep.

AFJs train “harder” than they need to because they leak power. PFOs get more done with less time spent training simply by plugging their structural leaks.

By not leaking power, they prime their body to take advantage its natural, spring-like ability to load, absorb and redirect “shock”… keeping the pump on their muscles, and the pounding off their joints… smoothing out their movements so they’re less taxing on your body, but deliver more powerful results at the same time.

They understand the real measure of a man’s fitness is his ability to “keep it together” under extreme pressure. And, more important, older PFOs understand there’s a thin red line between your comfort zone and the danger zone. See…

Contrary to popular belief, pain is not weakness leaving the body… meaning “no pain, no gain” is a mantra of diminishing returns… and… stepping outside your comfort zone can often lead your body to protest and work against you.

This is why PFOs never train to muscular failure. That’s an AFJ approach, and it can lead to some nice mass gains. But, it can also lead to repetitive strain syndrome, tendon flare ups, chronic soreness, aches and pains… and fractured technique, exposing weakness. Instead…

PFOs train to technical failure. They know that, in the field, technical failure can be the difference between life and death. And their training reflects that.

By shooting for technical failure (and never missing their mark) under incrementally increasing pressure, PFOs avoid entering the “danger zone”, instead expanding their comfort zone from the inside out. Studies show this is an easier and less tiring way of increasing strength and functional capacity of your muscles, and therefore a highly efficient method of training.

These three Power Principles are so simple, yet so game-changing, that any guy can use them to turn even the most ordinary exercises into body re-building machines…

And yet, it’s easy to apply these principles the wrong way… because, quite often, applying them the RIGHT way requires LESS effort, LESS speed, LESS intensity than you might imagine.

This is something most guys have a hard time wrapping their head around. And a hard time nailing down on their own after spending so much time in an AFJ kind of world.

Which is why I believe my Precision Fitness Operator System is so valuable.

It’s proof positive that…

Making the simple shift from Average Fitness Joe to Precision Fitness Operator with PFO-Sys:

Saving your body undue wear and tear… IF that’s what you want.

Anyway, there’s a good reason for you to be excited about all of this. You see, for years the only way to learn PFO-Sys was to contract me out privately… and it never came cheap. In fact…

Because Fight Camps and Spec Ops Units usually booked me solid.

These were often several days, to multiple week-long contracts costing thousands of dollars in billable hours, plus comped travel expenses, room and board.

And being a Vet, Professional Warriors always got priority over Civis. So the little downtime I had for teaching locally was extremely exclusive.

See, recently a publishing house warmed me over to the widespread demand for something like this. Turns out the head honcho over there is a total badass… a real life Ninja.

With extensive studies in Bujinkan and other martial and fitness disciplines he travels the world as a writer and anthropologist…

…digging up some of the most effective health secrets known to man and sharing them with his readers.

With his kind of reach, I could connect with more guys than ever possible through private contracts alone. Obviously, that has economic and logistic benefit. Or so he tells me.

Which is why I’ve made a publishing deal: we could test this low cost offer in a few places, and if it does well we keep it on the market and go wide with it. If it doesn’t however…

That means, if you’re reading this message, the deal is still on. For now.

This is an unbelievably exciting package… designed you so don’t risk a single cent putting it to the test in your own home.

Here’s exactly what I’m giving you today:

It’s called the Warrior Zero Bodyweight Challenge. Check it out…

On my computer I have a “classified” folder named The Warrior Zero Project. It contains all of my research, tests, experiments and “top secret” programming.

The name stems from an attitude of self-reliance and survival… paired with an acknowledgment that the best comebacks start from ground zero.

Anyway, the heartbeat of every single piece of body re-building, combat conditioning advice in The Warrior Zero project is my Precision Fitness Operator System. And…

The foundation (and critical starting point) for learning, owning and mastering PFO-Sys is the Warrior Zero Bodyweight Challenge. And that’s what you’re getting your hands on today:

This is a PFOs bible… and now, it’s yours. Inside you’ll discover:

Most fitness gurus think it’s the WORST exercise in the world. Yet recent research confirms it may be the single most effective exercise to increase life expectancy. Plus…

Ask any Elite Operator, and they will tell you this exercise is MISSION CRITICAL.

The “Go-Muscle” secret of developing kinetic chains. (Bodybuilding athletes miss this critical training factor and suffer for it when called upon to use their “muscle” in the real world.)

The controversial power of “single rep cycling”. Ultimately, this will allow you to get more out of every workout, with less reps and without beating your body to shit.

— How to scale your training — safely and naturally — by deploying the same secret “symmetry” code Leonardo da Vinci used to create a perfectly balanced human in his famous Illustration “The Vitruvian Man”. (Ancient Greeks and Egyptians used it to design perfectly balanced works of structural art, and Bio-Mathematicians are now confirming this secret symmetry is encoded in living matter everywhere.)

— 3 “PFO Mission” Challenges. There are several weeks between challenges. And you can think of the weeks leading up to each challenge like reconnaissance — everything you’re doing is to put your mind and body in the best position to complete your Mission with flying colors. More…

You’ll know, in real time, whether or not you’re ready to “level up” or whether or not you’ve got a little more work to do before pushing your body beyond its limits and out into the danger zone.

This challenge system is a fire starter for guys who lack the motivation to stick to a training program.

And a whole bunch more…

These videos aren’t simple demonstrations the likes you’ll find on blogs or Youtube. They present a measured, “precision” approach to exercise that reveal:

Force transfer secrets… posture and alignment tricks… the overlooked power of ground reaction forces… selective tension… AND…

Why 99% of all Average Fitness Joes totally miss the boat when it comes to “ab” training.

3 priming switches all PFOs flip before each workout to make sure all systems are “go” for maximum gains. (Plus, one common switch AFJs flip that undermines the power in all their movements.)

The secret to freeing up a tight back almost instantly. (Sheds rust and stiffness — within minutes you’ll suddenly feel lighter and more energized than you might believe.)

The truth behind your body’s “linchpin joint”. (And why a simple positioning tweak can double — even triple — the power of every exercise you perform.)

The #1 exercise mistake Average Fitness Joes make that wreaks havoc on their knees.

The ultimate lazy guy’s exercise for strengthening muscles weakened and shut down by chronic sitting. (Plus, one simple adjustment to this drill that electrifies your core more than any set of sit ups and crunches will ever do.)

A seated movement that exposes “asymmetrical deficiencies” in your hips with just one rep. (These deficiencies are often the true source of a muscle ache or joint pain.)

How to get more mobility from any movement by changing the way you breath.

The vital coaching cues you can get from an inanimate household object that most clipboard-toting trainers will never tell you about. (And how it can correct dangerous — and painful — structural leaks within seconds.)

The Hollywood “Walk of Fame” secret to unlocking fully integrated, pressing power.

How to use the three-legged table test to determine whether or not your TRULY ready (and safe) to progress out to harder and harder pressing movements. (If there’s any “wiggle-wobble” here you know with 100% certainty you’ve got more work to do before moving any further.)

Why your shoulders determine the proper depth of push up for your body type. (And when chest-kissing the ground can set you up for a setback.)

A special 3-second, 3-point mental “checklist” for correcting your posture on the fly. (This is like hitting the reset button on your posture so that you maintain a safe, but powerful “exercise frame”, even when you’re bent over.)

A cadence secret most military guys know (instinctively) that helps your body draw power up from the ground, absorb and redirect shock like a spring.

The ancient “tribal trick” that accelerates your learning. (For many guys this is also a “short cut” to healthy knees, hips and lower back.)

The one “ab” exercise that melts away tension across your entire spine and strengthens your core in a way no plank could ever do. (Takes years off your body in just minutes a day.)

A sneaky little “recovery accelerator” technique. Deploy this post-workout to abate soreness, stiffness and restore muscle balance in a few short minutes.)

And many more PFO secrets that you’ve really got to feel to believe…

It’s like having me in the room with you, right by your side. I’ll coach you along with my student, Frank, as we move through each workout in real time.

You’ll quickly realize this isn’t BUD/S or some hardcore body-wrecking bootcamp insanity.

Instead, you’ll learn to use your body’s natural ability to load, absorb and redirect shock…

Turning simple movements into body-rebuilding machines and peak-performance-powerhouses…

While reinforcing your joints (saving them wear and tear)… and allowing your muscles to recover while in motion.

This keeps your muscles fresher longer… your metabolic fire churning… and your body operating as a single integrated unit.

Because I want to help you stack the odds of success even more in your favor…

Breathing is something you are always doing, whether you are paying attention to it or not.

Yet, learning how to pay better attention to and control your breath is an overlooked “nervous system hack” that can provide more powerful workouts, faster recovery, shots of instant energy and a wave of general stress relief.

Here’s some of what you’ll discover inside this module:

The one thing almost every new student does WRONG with their breathing during exercise that undermines their performance and increases risk of injury (plus an easy fix)…

A type of breathing that enhances the benefits of any exercises (bonus: it also helps rid the body of toxins, which can lead to faster weight loss)…

How to use your breathing to guide your training progress — instead of using reps, sets, resistance, or time (this is a wise alternative for anyone suffering exercise-induced pain)

How to use “geometric” breathing to expand your lung capacity and control your heart rate — this is especially important for resuming command of body functions when fear and stress stage a “military takeover”.

The ancient breathing technique that increases your antioxidant defense status (and combats oxidative stress) after hard training…

It also reduces the “fight-or-flight” response of the parasympathetic nervous system and could enhance vagal activity (which can reduce anxiety, anger, and inflammation)

A special kind of “explosive” breathing that energizes your entire body almost instantly… leaves you feeling amped, alert, and ready to tackle your workout.

How many times have you just wanted to throw in the towel and rattle off excuse after excuse as to why something can’t get done?

We’ve all been there. Yet there are times when if you do not accomplish the task at hand, it does not get done.

Getting your body into shape is one of those times. But, make no mistake… developing intestinal fortitude isn’t just about trying to be a “tough guy”.

Your Warrior Zero Intestinal Fortitude module goes beyond “gut checks”. I’m not simply barking orders at you to “pick your sack up and keep moving…”

No. It’s more than that.

Intestinal Fortitude is about developing the kind of situational awareness and “streets smarts” that not only develops toughness, but wisdom.

Which is why, in Warrior Zero Intestinal Fortitude I’m going to reveal 10 things I learned in the Marines that are guaranteed to make you a better man.

You’ll learn about the mental toughness Marines are known for, and the physical endurances it helps them push through. Plus, you’ll discover:

Insights on Overcoming Adversity… How to develop Unshakeable Self-Confidence… How to Control Fear, Stress & Anxiety… The Ultimate Guide To Self Discipline… How To Harness the Power of Positive Self-Talk… and more…

I think you’ll really enjoy this module.

You’ve got enough to focus on with your Warrior Zero Bodyweight Challenge. You don’t need a bunch of restrictive diet rules to follow.

That’s why, your Warrior Zero Supportive Nutrition module is based on 10 PFO “Fueling Principles”.

Much like the PFO “Power Principles” that guide your workouts, these Fueling Principles give you the flexibility required to make eating for your health feel NORMAL…

…and not like some crazed fitness freak.

You’ll quickly get your head straight about eating clean and making the right food choices for reducing body inflammation, fueling your workouts, and aiding your recovery.

This is NOT a diet. But a set of principles you can apply to your lifestyle, no matter how busy your day is, or selective your taste buds.

Now, I’m going to tell you what this costs and how to secure your own copy in just a second. But, first we need to get very, very clear on something:

In fact, there are some guys I hope never find out about it. No joke.

This stuff isn’t for hot-headed, young bucks who think an “old dog” can’t teach them a few new tricks…

…or for the kind of guy whose endgame is being surrounded by gym-bros strutting around stiffly with inflated, puffy muscle, a dumbbell in one hand and a cell phone in the other…

…or even the kind of blood-pressure-popping psycho who would rather die under the bar than dump out of a rep.

So, I’m telling you now — don’t even think about trying this program unless:

1) You are serious about eliminating weakness and building combat-ready-conditioning at any age… and want an advantage over other men… so you can step up to the plate and be the man you’re needed to be…

2) You are willing to slow down and shift your focus from training like an Average Fitness Joe to training like a Precision Fitness Operator… so you can reprogram your nervous system and rewire your muscles for an almost unbelievable primal control and power… without killing yourself in the gym…

3) You are sick and tired of feeling soft, out of shape and always doubting yourself… sick and tired of workouts that make you feel like something is wrong with you… or simply sick and tired of watching other guys do the things you should be doing… but no longer can.

Still with me? Good. I’m damn proud of Warrior Zero and this outstanding package I’ve been able to put together for you on this page.

Given the chance, you’ll find it’s got more integrity and value than what you’ve probably come to expect from most things in the fitness world.

You’re getting EXACTLY what I teach all around the world. Not some watered down “lite” version of my system. But…

And you need to know this before you make your decision. See, this isn’t some put-on Hollywood production… with slick stage design and hired guns who model for a living to huff and puff half naked on screen. No.

You’re getting quality video instructionals and follow alongs, filmed in HD, in my private headquarters. It’s me and one of my actual students walking you through every last detail of how to train like a Precision Fitness Operator.

I’m also delivering everything to you digitally, so don’t expect a big brown box on your doorstep.

I’m doing this for two reasons: 1) this allows me to offer this special Warrior Zero package to you at a much lower price, since there are no shipping and manufacturing costs and… 2) this gives you the convenience of reading and watching the material at home and on the go, via smart tv, desktop, tablet and phone.

If you can get past these “flaws”, you’re good to go, because…

Look, a lot of guys are going to be miffed at me for sharing this secret training system with you… especially since you won’t be paying even part of what they had to shell out for even a single lesson.

But, it is what it is. I’ve come to realize just how many guys desperately need an alternative to the type of fitness the mainstream is trying to force-feed them.

They’ve spent too much time and money on gimmicks and false promises to justify spending even a dollar on something new… even if it’s a simple system that will change their lives. I get it.

Listen, I’m a Marine and an Eagle Scout, and I stake my reputation on my promises.

Perhaps, more important, I’m just a guy about to eclipse 50 with a body that’s been through the wringer — and I honestly want to share this incredible new program with you, and I don’t want you to worry about getting scammed or “taken for a ride” or anything like that.

It’s hard enough to find someone you can trust in general, even more so on the internet. The least I could do is make it as easy as possible for you to try it out, without any risk. Right?

Click the ‘add to cart’ button below, fill out and submit the secure order form on the next page and you get instant access to everything with your own personal account on my private server.

This price wouldn’t even buy you fifteen minutes of private time with me at my regular coaching fees. Yet for less than the price of dinner and a movie, you can own my training system for yourself… with this Warrior Zero package that reveals to you everything you’d learn in private sessions.

And you know what? I’m so confident you’ll see impressive results that I’ll put ALL the risk on myself with a 100% unconditional, money back your-prerogative-guarantee:

Here’s how it works: Order your personal copy of the Warrior Zero Bodyweight Challenge. Download all of the manuals and videos, or stream them from any of your devices, whichever you prefer.

Put the secrets you’ll find inside to the test.

Take a full 60 days, if you want.

This way you’re not rushed, and don’t have to worry about life getting in the way, or any other excuses guys make for themselves when facing a new challenge…

Notice the difference you feel in your muscles and joints as you’re training like a Precision Fitness Operator.

Notice the fit of your clothes now… the difference in the way you start to carry yourself, and the way the people around you respond… and take a good, long look at the new man you see staring back at you in the mirror.

If you decide at any point that you’d like to go back to training like an Average Fitness Joe, give up your physical advantage over other men, and settle for anything less than your body’s best…

Simply shoot an email over to [email protected] and let me know. I’ll have customer care process your 100% guaranteed refund straight away. No hassle whatsoever. Your prerogative. It’s your body and I trust your judgement here.

And, you get to KEEP anything and everything you’ve downloaded. Consider it a gift for giving the Warrior Zero Bodyweight Challenge a “test drive”.

So now all that’s left is to ask yourself one final question…

Maybe you want to be more attractive to your wife… instead of looking (and feeling) like a crippled old man…

Maybe you want to build the kind of endurance and all-day-energy that makes it feel like your body is running on rocket fuel…

Maybe you simply want to build (and maintain) outstanding levels of conditioning and develop real muscular power and control with less time working out and without pounding your joints…

Only you know that. But, what I do know is, to a man — everyone of them who has become a part of The Warrior Zero Project — has never looked at fitness the same way again, and is a better man for it.

Remember: no matter what anyone says, you ALWAYS have a lot more fight left in you.

Here’s to proving them wrong.

I hope to see you on the other side, and look forward to hearing about your success.

Helder Gomes — United States Marine, International Combat Instructor, Head Coach NTC-HQ

WARNING: other guys might start asking you for advice when you train out in public. That’s ok. It’s a natural side effect of training like a Precision Fitness Operator. Embrace it. These guys, no matter how young or old, are ready for a paradigm shift. And they’re in need of a good, honorable man to lead them. Be that leader. Give them a few point pointers, if only the 3 “Power Principles” you’ve learned in this report. Then send them off in the right direction, and on the path to proving all their naysayers wrong and proving to themselves it is possible to eliminate weakness and build combat-ready conditioning at any age…

Siddle, Bruce. Sharpening the Warriors Edge: The Psychology & Science of Training. PPCT Research Publications. 1995.

Asken, Michael, and Christensen, Loren, and Grossman, Dave. Warrior Mindset. Human Factor Research Group. 2010.

Grossman, Dave, and Christensen, Loren. On Combat: The Psychology and Physiology of Deadly Conflict in War and in Peace. Warrior Science Publications. 2008.

ClickBank is the retailer of products on this site. CLICKBANK® is a registered trademark of Click Sales Inc., a Delaware corporation located at 1444 S. Entertainment Ave., Suite 410 Boise, ID 83709, USA and used by permission. ClickBank’s role as retailer does not constitute an endorsement, approval or review of these products or any claim, statement or opinion used in promotion of these products.

Click here to get Revealed: Disabled Marine Shows Men Over 40 How To Eliminate Weakness And Build Combat Ready Conditioning At Any Age… at discounted price while it’s still available…

#Agehellip #Build #combat #Conditioning #disabled #eliminate #marine #Men #Ready #Revealed #shows #weakness

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michellejgaskill · 3 years

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What is Sonus Complete? Can it improve hearing by assisting the normal needs of the brain?

Sonus Complete is a daily supplement to improve hearing by supporting the brain’s general needs with many important ingredients. The formula is a life-time envision of plants, herbs, and vitamins to help those suffering from tinnitus.

What is Sonus Complete?

Hearing loss is becoming a major problem in the world today, even though at least half of all of these cases could’ve been prevented. Keeping the ears healthy is more than just a commitment to stay away from loud noises; and is one of the easiest ways to protect the ears from harm. With the advancements in technology, consumers can take many other changes to keep their hearing at its optimal level.

The creators of a hearing health supplement called Sonus Complete say that a few other daily life changes can preserve this sense for much longer. Some of the tips that they offer include:

Get a greater understanding of the ears’ functions and performance to see how different noises impact them.

Exercise to promote improved blood flow.

Exercise the mind and ears by getting exposed to more sounds, seeking to identify them.

Never clean out the ears with a cotton swab or anything smaller than the elbow.

Keep volume lower in headphones for less time to avoid unnecessary trauma to the ears.

Keep up with regular doctor’s appointments to check for potential hearing issues before it becomes too severe.

Developed by Gregory Peters, this formula results from substantial research, aiming to improve the health of the users. With the nutrients that this remedy offers, users should be able to improve their brain connection to the ears, ensure that users keep their hearing clear, and be found on the https://dietaryhealthsupplement.com/sonuscomplete.

How Does Sonus Complete Work?

The Sonus Complete formula’s key is the right balance of vitamins, minerals, and other important ingredients. The only benefit that consumers are told to expect is that their hearing health will improve, with the ingredients primarily speaking for themselves.

Everything is combined in a 620 mg proprietary blend, which means that the actual benefits that users can expect from this formula are unclear. In fact, the website only shows how many milligrams a few of the ingredients are included. Still, users will find the following ingredients in this remedy:

Hibiscus

Hawthorn Berry

Olive Leaves

Vitamin B3

Garlic

Vitamin B12

Vitamin B6

Buchu Leaves

Green Tea

Juniper Berry

Uva Ursi

Vitamin C

Read on below to learn a little more about what these ingredients can do with a high enough concentration.

Hibiscus

Hibiscus tea offers a delicious and healthy remedy for individuals that want to lower their blood pressure, though it is equally supportive of liver health and weight loss. Research shows that the use of this ingredient can help with the battle against unhealthy bacteria, improving the user’s digestive health.

Hawthorn Berry

Hawthorn berry has plenty of antioxidants as well, reducing inflammation and lowering blood pressure in the same way that hibiscus does. This berry helps users decrease the amount of fat in the blood as it improves the digestive process.

Users can reduce their anxiety with hawthorn berry, and they may be able to treat heart failure as well.

Olive Leaves

Olive leaves are often reduced into an extract to blend easily in supplements. Like the ingredients before it, it helps users to improve their cardiovascular system. It improves weight loss, but one of the biggest advantages is its power over type 2 diabetes.

Some supplements use this extract to reduce inflammation.

Vitamin B3

Vitamin B3, also known as niacin, balances out cholesterol levels, reducing the toxic cholesterol as the healthy cholesterol improves. By dealing with the cholesterol, consumers that use this vitamin have a lowered risk of heart disease.

Niacin also provides a simple way to trigger improvements in brain function.

Garlic

As delicious as garlic maybe, it comes with many health benefits. It can help users heal from sickness, even with the common cold. It can improve cholesterol levels and support blood pressure levels, which is a perfect combination to reduce the likelihood that the user will succumb to heart disease.

Vitamin B12 – 100mcg

Vitamin B12 is essential for the health of the blood cells and nerves, supporting DNA structure. Without enough B12 in the body, developing anemia can be highly likely.

Vitamin B6 – 5mg

Vitamin B6 keeps the mood balanced, reducing the impact that depression makes on the mind and body. Though it helps with anemia in a similar way to vitamin B12, vitamin B6 is also helpful to individuals with severe PMS symptoms.

Buchu Leaves

Buchu leaves are used as a medicine, dealing with issues that impact the urinary tract and kidneys. It can heal infections in the bladder, urethra, and even sexually transmitted diseases. It can be prepared as a tea, and it naturally acts as a diuretic.

Green Tea

Green tea has been known to improve the likelihood of weight loss with plentiful antioxidants. The bioactive compounds can increase the brain’s functioning and prevent the brain from succumbing to aging’s natural effects.

Juniper Berry

Juniper berries are loaded with nutrients, reducing inflammation, and purging the body of toxins. It can reduce the risk of heart issues. With the healing of bacterial and fungal activity, users who regularly consume juniper berries in their routine can reduce their diabetes risk.

Uva Ursi

Uva Ursi is all about supporting the health of the digestive system. It heals the discomfort in the stomach, and it can help with healing. With the support for the digestive system, users will see changes in immunity as well.

This ingredient reduces inflammation and detoxifies, leaving everything from the bladder to the urethra reinvigorated for better health.

Vitamin C

Vitamin C is crucial to the health of the immune system. It supports many different body functions, helping it absorb iron and maintains the collagen in the joints. It also keeps the teeth, bones, and cartilage strong.

Folate 100mcg

Folate or vitamin B9 can be found in foods that we eat daily, such as broccoli, brussels sprouts, cabbage, kale, chickpeas, kidney beans. Folic Acid can naturally give rise to chronic diseases and neuropsychiatric disease. [15].

Purchasing a One-Month Supply of Sonus Complete

Originally, the creators behind the Sonus Complete formula aimed to price this formula at $99. However, to ensure that the formula is more affordable to any consumer, the cost comes down to $69 for just one bottle.

Individuals that order more than one bottle will get a bigger discount on their order. The other packages include:

Three bottles for $177 ($59 each)

Six bottles for $294 ($49 each)

As a bonus, users will get free shipping with the larger orders, though they will still need to pay the single bottle cost.

Consumers who find that this remedy isn’t the right routine can get a full refund if they contact the customer service team within 60 days of their original order. The customer service team can be reached at any time by filling out the online form at Sonuscomplete.cc/help/contact-us.php.

Bottom Line

Sonus Complete helps consumers to eliminate the toxins that may prevent them from improving their hearing. None of the ingredients in this product will specifically target hearing, but most of them purge the toxins that can cause the connection between the bra and the rest of the body to be weak. Consumers that want to see a drastic impact on their hearing may need to visit a doctor, but this remedy will support overall health with many safe ingredients.

#sonus complete #supplement #improve hearing #hearing loss

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allenmendezsr · 4 years

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Proven MS Treatment By Dr Gary Levin M.d

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/proven-ms-treatment-by-dr-gary-levin-m-d/

Proven MS Treatment By Dr Gary Levin M.d

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Multiple sclerosis is one of the most debilitating and discouraging conditions anyone can have. Waking up day after day knowing you are stricken with MS that gradually drags you, a healthy young person, towards chronic illness and maybe a shorter life. Suddenly you no longer expect to enjoy many of life’s greatest experiences.

You probably remember that day, the day you first heard your doctor speak the words “Multiple Sclerosis.” You may have felt sadness, desperation, even panic knowing full well your life would never be the same again. That time can be almost as difficult for your family and close friends as it is for you.

You are unable to enjoy your favorite things knowing the next attack is just a matter of time. Sometimes the attack’s “remission” leaves you with residual, usually permanent, and scary symptoms. You suffer month after month and find you are losing hope of ever getting better.

That’s a very sad place for anyone to be. I know. I’ve been seeing patients for over 40 years.

My name is Dr. Gary M. Levin and I’m a retired M.D. and Surgeon in the U.S. For more than forty years, I took great pride in running my own clinic, as well as teaching and supervising resident doctors at a facility at Loma Linda Univ School of Medicine. I completely understand how incredibly scary, painful and discouraging multiple sclerosis symptoms are for millions of people just like you.

I have felt the pain of so many patients and their families. It is like your body is fighting an all-out war with a dangerous intruder that doesn’t exist. Your doctor may be putting on a brave face, but the truth is many physicians are just as frustrated as you are. They try every known cure, treatment and medically accepted idea — yet NOTHING works because the real symptoms of MS are not treated!

How come a respected M.D. & surgeon dares to talk about a “Natural Treatment”?

In 1998, I had a heart ailment which required surgical intervention. While recovering in cardiac rehabilitation, I had the unexpected opportunity to work with a colleague who practiced allopathic and alternative medicine. I was very impressed with what I found.

Having been trained in the sciences, I decided to dive deep into this approach, serve a two-year preceptorship and test natural remedies and alternative treatments for diseases.

It was here that I discovered powerful breakthroughs that would have profound impacts for Multiple Sclerosis patients. Here was the highly effective KEY to slowing deterioration, preventing attacks, and promoting regeneration.

The access that the public has to study archives and the ability to learn, understand and draw conclusions out of them is VERY limited (mainly because of the medical talk) not to mention getting updated with new ones and to know how to distinguish them. I can tell you there’s a lot of misinformation out there, which is the reason I use and teach ONLY TESTED and PROVEN methods based on serious, long term CLINICAL studies that I was able to verify myself. I wouldn’t risk doing anything else.

The patients I worked with in my clinic were real people, not experiments. Moreover, I was responsible for teaching and supervising the resident doctors at a facility at Loma Linda Univ School of Medicine, so naturally it was essential for all my claims to have rock-solid proof to back them up.

The Symptom Elimination process is carried out through a simple step-by-step method that rehabilitates your immune system and boosts your supporting body systems to rid it of all symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis PLUS re-energizes and purifies your body for maximum health.

To make a long story short – I have a scientifically proven method for TOTALLY reversing MS!

It is all natural which means it cannot be registered as a patent thus it cannot be marketed using the regular channels (drug industry-pharmacies etc.).

So, I am giving you the result of my own research, trial and error in one handy place with step-by-step instructions to help you reverse your MS.

Don’t believe it can be true?

Watch this TED Talk from Dr. Terry Wahls, a doctor and an ex-MS sufferer who was in a wheelchair when she started implementing some food-related strategies and now she has fully recovered.

What are the results of my method?

Patient after patient left their years of Multiple Sclerosis symptoms behind, saying they are completely symptom-free. Others show a dramatic improvement. Even more exciting, to see how they are getting their old lives back. These FORMER Multiple Sclerosis patients have bright smiles, upbeat energy and even brighter futures — this time without having to worry and stress about the scary symptoms reoccurring because they followed the instructions I gave them. You will see my patients’ Video Stories all over this page. They ARE actors because I understand people’s feelings and feel uncomfortable asking them to reveal their details in public. but what they say is coming from what REAL people are saying. These people from all over and from many different backgrounds tell — in their own words — exactly how my Treatment System eliminated the symptoms of their Multiple Sclerosis. Rather than resigning themselves to a shortened life of misery and pain, and little to look forward to, my patients now feel younger, have more energy and suddenly feel confident in setting exciting and ambitious goals for a long life.

Please keep in mind I will NEVER promote a fly-by-night miracle cure. I am a medical doctor with a lifetime of work in a traditional medical practice. I am not about to hang my reputation on magic pills or whatever else you see promoted on the internet these days.

Download YOUR copy of the Multiple Sclerosis Step-By-Step Treatment System TODAY. This will include a Quick Start Guide PLUS an audio version of the Treatment System for JUST $47.99

Click Here for a limited time only $99.97 $47.99 My 100% No-Risk Guarantee to YOU: I realize you just met me and you may be a little hesitant to order. I don’t want anyone to continue suffering because they don’t feel comfortable ordering and that is why we chose Clickbank.com for handling the payments.

Buying online securely: They provide the highest level of online payment encryption and security and they are the #1 payment processor for downloadable products worldwide. In addition, Clickbank’s order form is secured, and constantly monitored, by McAfee & VeriSign. Payment can be done using PayPal or credit card. The order form is compatible with all mobile systems.

100% iron-clad, 2 month, No questions asked refund guarantee: Clickbank also takes the matter of customer refunds totally out of our hands. We don’t even get the money before the refund period ends. This means that for ANY reason, you can go directly to Clickbank.com to get a full refund. You won’t even need to contact us.

You literally have no risk. Let’s see a pharmacy or doctor top that! So please give my proven method a try. You’ll feel better for it. Yes, I want to finally get rid of my multiple sclerosis. Let me in! Click Here, for limited time only $99.97 $47.99

So, What REALLY Causes Multiple Sclerosis?

When a human baby develops, fatty myelin sheaths build around nerves of the brain and spinal cord. This development is what allows a one year-old to start to walk. As these myelin sheaths grow, a child gains greater mobility, muscular control and mental activity.

Multiple Sclerosis is the deterioration of the myelin sheaths. This happens when the immune system thinks the myelin sheaths are a foreign intruder that must be destroyed. As a result, electrical impulses are slowed or stopped as they travel through the body’s nervous system. The MS patient loses muscular control, loses feeling in nerves and can even suffer cognitive changes. This results in a lot of different symptoms such as constantly feeling aches and pain, numbness, feeling tired and wiped out all the time, double vision, muscle weakness in arms and legs, vertigo, muscle spasms, burning sensation in feet, etc.

Well, this may sound unusual, but if you think about it again you will come to the same conclusion as I did: “Multiple Sclerosis is just another symptom of the REAL disease you have”

So what is the real disease you suffer from?

Well, the simple answer is that you have an overactive immune system disease. Your immune system “freaks out” when it meets your myelin sheaths and attacks them. The fact that you are diagnosed with MS is just because of the fact that your immune system “freaks out” in a way that creates the MS symptoms. But you’re NOT having a “MS” disease. You are having an overactive or blinded immune system disease!

What does this mean? This means you should be dealing with the REAL problem: Your “overactive immune system” is the problem we need to deal with. Taking drugs to kill the symptoms may temporarily help but they are NOT the real solution.

I used to give my patients Copaxone (glatiramer acetate), interferon beta-1a/1b injections, courses of steroids and more but they offered no REAL help. They may have eased the symptoms for a while but this is not the real solution and nobody claims it is.

The sad truth is that the strong toxic effect of all these drugs gradually poisons the whole body, which at the end of the day, only makes Multiple Sclerosis attacks and permanent damage worse!

So , how can we heal an overactive immune system?

In my step-by-step Treatment System, you’ll learn how my Directed Nutrition™ method plus a special vitamin regimen will significantly reduce your symptoms and eventually completely rid you of your current condition.

It shouldn’t be any surprise to people that directed nutrition and simple plants and vitamins can be the basis for powerful cures. Contrary to popular belief, even prescription drugs aren’t wholly manufactured from synthetics.

A lot of regular medications are based on medical herbs and combinations of extracted foods we eat everyday (I know of more then a 100) like the diuretic medications “Theobromine” & “Theophylline” that are made from cacao or the capillary fragility medications “Hesperidin” & “Rutin” that are made from a combination of citrus species and the famous medication “Codeine” (for general pain, cough and diarrhea relief) that is made from papaver and the list goes on and on… so there is no real reason that using my method will not do a great job healing you from your MS.

I followed this basic principle of pharmacology to find life-giving plants and herbs that could be the basis for reversing Multiple Sclerosis. This would not only give patients comfort and new hope, but give their bodies a way to build strength and coordination and promote a far stronger immune system.

How long will it take to get back to a normal life again?

It depends. The treatment protocol is built on layers of strategies for creating the healing process in your body. Each layer is aimed at one angle of the disease and since not everyone’s body is made the same and MS is a disease caused by several factors, some people respond quickly to the first strategies and some to the later ones. Therefore, it may take a few short weeks to several months to see major improvement.

What type of Multiple Sclerosis do you have?

MY method treats ALL types including: “Benign” MS, clinically isolated syndrome (CIS), galloping MS, Schilder’s Disease and Neuromyelitis optica (Devic’s Syndrome).

Can I promise this method will cure your Multiple Sclerosis 100%?

Of course not. Nothing in life is 100% guaranteed. I KNOW my findings will help a lot of Multiple Sclerosis sufferers but I still cannot claim a 100% success rate. Why? In spite of the fact that natural medicine has a huge success rate as a whole and can solve problems that some conventional medicine cannot, it is not an exact science by medical definition.

Natural and alternative medicine works on the WHOLE body. It deals with “system healing” — not specific disease healing, which is why you can never find one exact formula fit to heal each and every person.

You have to understand that every human being has a different body, different blood type, different blood flow and different metabolism. Because each and every one of us eats different foods, we have different rates of digestion. Even our souls and spirits are different. All these variables influence the way the systems in our body work so the way we react to alternative methods cannot be predicted with the same accuracy as with conventional medicine. This is why alternative methods cannot be proven and tested at the same EXACT level as conventional treatments are tested.

This is true for each and EVERY alternative treatment on earth.

BUT…

When you find an alternative method that actually helps you, it will work better than any other conventional treatment.

Why?

You have to understand that we are not made of a combination of separate chemical “dots.” We are made out of a variety of different organic living systems that work in a marvelous synergy and that’s exactly what my methods are aimed at. We heal systems and don’t just try to silence symptoms by taking drugs to make chemical changes in the specific “dots” that trigger the symptoms. Since they deal with systems, side effects can occur when you change something in a complex system.

If someone led you to believe that side effects are “just side effects,” please note that they KILL more than 106,000 people in the US alone every year. Not to mention the 2 million that get sick enough to be forced to go to the hospital every year (RE1, RE2) (9% have been seriously harmed plus 54% need intervention (RE3)in the US alone every year.) Then there are all the people who just feel bad as a result of taking drugs but whose new symptoms are never identified or recorded.

Let’s look at the figures another way.

What is more likely – that you would die in a traffic accident or as the result of a visit to your doctor?

This would be funny if it wasn’t true. The correct answer is visiting your doctor! Traffic accidents cause 43,354 deaths every year in the US (RE4) as opposed to 106,000 that die from ADRs (adverse drug reaction) every year. (RE1, RE2)

Hard to believe? That’s right, I myself can’t comprehend it but numbers don’t lie. Today ADRs are the third leading cause of death!

The danger of passive smoking or illegal drugs is frequently aired in heath campaigns and outraged newspaper editorials, but ADRs – which exact a far greater toll of misery – very rarely trigger the same level of indignation.

If you were to ask most doctors about ADRs, they would give you one of the answers I used to give: The risks of any one person having a problem is pretty small or if a medication doesn’t have any side effect, it’s almost certainly not effective. Some would even say that thanks to a system of proper scientific trials and regulations, modern medicine by and large successfully balances the risks of drugs against undoubted benefits they offer.

since I (and all my colleagues) were trained by the pharmaceutical model, I truly believed in it, despite the fact I just felt that most of my skills come from juggling a range of drugs for a particular problem so the patients suffer the fewest side effects, or knowing which drugs best alleviate the ADRs caused by the first drug…

With that approach, no wonder some of us, as doctors, feel as frustrated as our patients.

Just watch commercials on TV for mainstream drugs and you’ll see long, terrifying disclaimers about side effects. There is hardly a drug out there that doesn’t lead to shortness of breath, difficulty swallowing and sometimes death… and that’s just scraping the surface.

The beauty of ALL NATURAL treatments is that there are NO Side Effects. You won’t see a side effect disclaimer associated with my MS treatment because it WILL NOT make anyone sick. All Natural means you save money on costly prescription drugs and you avoid harsh side effects, all while receiving improved benefits fighting MS.

Remember this; alternative methods listen to your body and help heal itself from inside. They don’t have side effects because they deal with system healing and they use the original materials the body is built from.

With that said, I can say with confidence that you can have a future WITHOUT Multiple Sclerosis. A MS-free life is not an impossible dream. It can happen. My patients are living proof and so are the thousands of people who bought my ebook and successfully used this method!

If you have already met a neurologist (the specialist who typically monitors MS), you should know that they routinely prescribe some very toxic and dangerous medications to MS patients.

These drugs include:

Prednisone, a steroid hormone that can significantly weaken your immune system and can cause diseases such as osteoporosis and cataracts.

Interferon. The “deceptive” drug because, even though it’s a natural substance, it’s typically given in a dose that shuts down your body’s natural feedback loop. As a result, it tends to do more harm than good.

Fortunately, there are many alternatives to these toxic treatment methods offered by conventional medicine.

Too good to be true? That’s what a few people who have visited my site have told me. I realize that it sounds a lot like the “get your body in sync with the universe” cures that are all over the Net. But before we throw the baby out with the bath water, please realize that there is a grain of truth here. Many chronic conditions can be cured or greatly improved with correct nutrition (which can VARY tremendously from one person to the next.)

As I said a lot of regular medications are based on medical herbs and combinations of extracted foods we eat everyday (I know of more then a 100) like the diuretic medications “Theobromine” & “Theophylline” that are made from cacao or the capillary fragility medications “Hesperidin” & “Rutin” that are made from a combination of citrus species and the famous medication “Codeine” (for general pain, cough and diarrhea relief) that is made from papaver and the list goes on and on… so there is no real reason that using my method will not do a great job healing you from your MS.

It’s not as simple as adding carrots and berries to your diet. I use a step-by-step Treatment System that is based on a deep knowledge of the human body, my years of experience & the thousands of clinical studies I have reviewed. Although I’ve retired and closed my clinic, my method for treating and eliminating the symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis will go on just as strong as ever. I no longer meet with patients personally, but I am determined to continue to enable Multiple Sclerosis patients all over the world to play a successful, proactive role in their own MS treatment and symptom elimination by guiding them in the proper implementation of the practices that have proven successful time and time again for so many patients.

So I’ve written down my complete Method for eliminating the Symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis in an EASY TO UNDERSTAND E-Book. You will never need to buy anything else from me to make this method work. You can download it and be reading within seconds.

There is no medical speak in my e-book. I keep it simple and easy-to-grasp just like I’m talking with one of my patients. You will learn how to pull your body’s chemical processes in line with a simple vitamin regimen and a nutrition method I found that works better than all the multiple sclerosis medicines combined. It’s available everywhere.

No more worrying about taking pills and/or injections on a daily basis or using other costly chemicals to take your MS away.

Download YOUR copy of the Multiple Sclerosis Step-By-Step Treatment System TODAY. This will include a Quick Start Guide PLUS an audio version of the Treatment System for JUST $47.99

Download your copy NOW and let me help YOU on your way to recovery. You owe it to your family and your future. But mostly you owe a MS-FREE life to yourself. You deserve it.

Hey, you don’t have to listen to me. Just read and watch the testimonials for yourself. As I said above, since I don’t feel comfortable asking people to reveal their details in public, I used actors. What they say is coming from what REAL people are saying.

Download YOUR copy of the Multiple Sclerosis Step-By-Step Treatment System TODAY. This will include a Quick Start Guide PLUS an audio version of the Treatment System for JUST $47.99

Download your copy NOW and let me help YOU on your way to recovery. You owe it to your family and your future. But mostly you owe a MS-FREE life to yourself. You deserve it.

Click Here, for limited time only $99.97 $47.99 My 100% No-Risk Guarantee to YOU: I realize you just met me and you may be a little hesitant to order. I don’t want anyone to continue suffering because they don’t feel comfortable ordering and that is why we chose Clickbank.com for handling the payments.

Extra bonuses!

Bonus 1

The Handbook Of Relaxation!

Everything you need to know about guided relaxation is included in this special ebook ($27.99 value.):

Tools for relaxation. How guided relaxation can help you. How stress affects you. Yoga guide! Restful sleeping with guided relaxation. Imagery guided relaxation.

Bonus 2

You Can Heal Yourself!

Everything you need to know about energy development and self healing is included in this special $29.99 value report. The definition of energy development and self healing. Subliminal exploration. Boosting energy. The relationship between vitamins and self healing. Fighting depression. Brain practices and workouts for self-healing. Finding inner strength. How to think positive.

Bonus 3

Help Your Teen Lose Weight Easily And In A Healthy Way ($39.99 value)

Explains:

What psychological issues overweight teens face everyday.

How you can parent an overweight teen without creating more problems.

How teens can lose weight safely and quickly.

How worried you, as a parent, should be about your teen’s weight.

How your teen’s self esteem is affected and how you can help.

You’ll also receive an audio recording of the entire guide. Because you’re busy, I know you might not have time to sit down and read this guide all at once. To make it easier on you, you can now listen to this recording in your car, on the way to work or on your iPod to take wherever you go.

Bonus 4

Your Guide to Healthy Eating

This is the ebook that will end the yo-yo diet nightmare once and for all and turn your weight loss and fitness dreams into reality! You’ll learn how to: · Lose weight. · Improve your health. · Send your energy skyrocketing. · Stop your junk food cravings. · Think more clearly. · Sleep better. · Be far more productive in life! · Actual value $27.99.

Bonus 5

How To Boost Your Metabolism And Lose Weight ($47.99 value)

Explains:

What metabolism really is and how to program it to help you lose weight fast.

How anyone can speed up their metabolism by making changes in just 3 areas of life.

How to boost your metabolism through exercise.

The secret to burning more calories while sitting around doing nothing!

Why most people are wrong about calories.

The secret to eating more and losing weight.

Why getting just the right amount of sleep can help your metabolism grow strong, plus 6 tricks for getting to sleep on time!

The truth about carbohydrates.

Download YOUR copy of the Multiple Sclerosis Step-By-Step Treatment System TODAY. This will include a Quick Start Guide PLUS an audio version of the Treatment System for JUST $47.99

Download your copy NOW and let me help YOU on your way to recovery. You owe it to your family and your future. But mostly you owe a Multiple Sclerosis-FREE life to yourself. You deserve it. Yes, I want to finally get rid of my multiple sclerosis. Let me in! Click Here, for limited time only $99.97 $47.99

Yours,

Dr. Gary M Levin M.D.

10686-B Hazelhurst Dr. # 7693 Houston, TX 77043 USA Phone number: 1-713-866-4099

P.S.

Just a reminder:

This method is fully natural, simple and risk free. Anyone can use it.

I am here to help and support you until you succeed and completely get rid of your Multiple Sclerosis.

The download is instant and you can start putting my treatment system to work for you in just 5 minutes.

Your purchase is fully protected for 60 days by both Clickbank and myself.

Yes, I want to finally get rid of my multiple sclerosis condition. Let me in!

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cthulhuofficial · 4 years

Text

November 6, 2020

I have to record these thoughts so that when I speak to my counselor, I don’t just rattle on about symptoms instead of the cause.

I’ve been struggling so much with the day-to-day. I have stressors like work, buying a house, thinking about a move... but some of it feels like “bad luck”, where everything is just a bit harder than it should be. I just got double-charged for Sean’s Christmas present, and while the merchants were super-responsive and kind, it was just yet another thing I had to deal with when it “should have been” just a simple online transaction. I ordered a book from Amazon for my father for Christmas, and it came with a slightly crunched jacket, so now I have to decide whether to go through “all the hassle” of returning it, or just give it to him. He wouldn’t care in the least about a little crinkle, it’s just the principle of the thing, that I have to even think about this. The lenders needed the October statement for my bank account, and it turns out my banking period is weird (the 22nd to the 22nd), so I couldn’t just get a statement, and I had to call the bank and ask someone to pull it and sign it and they were kind enough to fax it for me, and then I had to do it again for the first few days of November, and then the clerk was like “We don’t fax things,” and I had to be like “Can you ask Bryan, cus he did it last time?” and finally she did it, but it was like, “We’ll make this exception for you again,” and I was like, “Oh, Bryan didn’t even tell me that was an exception,” so I felt like an asshole even though I had no idea I was asking for “extra”. My Taylor Swift folklore vinyl is finally shipping (I ordered it on July 23), and we’re on the verge of a move, so I wanted to change the Send-To address so I actually receive it, and the customer service rep was like “It’s already shipped, so we can’t change it, you have to contact the shipper now,” which is totally fair, just, oh my GOD, now I have to get USPS to change the address, which looks like it costs $15? All because it took 3.5 months to ship an album? And just... stuff like that. Again and again and again. All these little things buzzing buzzing buzzing so that my todo list literally never decreases and just gets bigger and bigger and bigger as it seems every time I try to check off one thing (e.g. “Buy Sean’s Christmas present”), it multiplies into more (”Ask vendor why payment isn’t working” ”Email vendor about double charge,” “Figure out Paypal account information because they can only refund to Paypal”, "Try PayPal account recovery again in ten minutes because it's inexplicably not working," “Set up Paypal to connect with one of my bank accounts so I don’t have $120 just sitting in a Paypal account”, “Transfer the money to the bank”). Or how “Buy Dad’s Christmas present” has become “Initiate Amazon return”, “Rebuy book”, “Return crinkled book to Amazon dropoff store”. And with the zillion other things I’m thinking about between the lender needing documentation and info and what I need to pack when and where and coordinating people to help move, I have to think about my fucking Taylor Swift vinyl???

And it’s getting to me. I find myself repeating, “Can one thing just work out?” And what’s worse is the fact that it’s getting to me is getting to me. I feel like such a worthless weak person, sobbing on silent on my couch during work meetings because I have to make a phone call or drop off a package somewhere. What the fuck is wrong with me? Sean doesn’t freak out like this about things, and I said that, and hes said, “Maybe your body chemistry just reacts differently to stressors so it’s harder,” to make me feel better, and like... that literally means I’m objectively worse as a human being. I think I’m supposed to gather evidence when I make claims like that, to actually pick apart the negative thought, but guess what - I can’t think of any redeeming qualities I have. I hate myself.

I keep breaking down in front of Sean and it’s EMBARRASSING and I’m EMBARRASSED and HUMILIATED to be seen like this, I hate people seeing me like this. And Sean of all people. It is comforting to talk things over with him, but I also know I’m annoying and gross and talk in circles, because he tries to be supportive and I immediately find a way to undercut it or dismiss what he says, which is insufferable, and I hate myself even more for doing it, and I’m worried it will just get to be too much one day and he won’t want to deal with my shit anymore and leave. But I feel so pent-up and even worse if I try to keep it inside. I feel so alone in this, I don’t want to annoy anyone or embarrass myself. I wish I could just deal with this ALONE like everyone else does, but I can’t because I’m fucking weak.

Even during the worst times in the last couple years, I’ve had this thread of hope that it would pass. Because I’d been through so much and gotten through it before, and even though it really sucks at the time, It Will Pass. But I don’t have that lately. It’s just getting worse and worse and worse, and once Sean and I have a kid, it’s going to get monumentally worse, so there’s no hope here At All, and while I’m excited and want to have a family with Sean during the good times, during these bad times, I start doubting everything, and I don’t want to lose Sean because of it, but I’m so scared right now that I’m gonna be miserable and resentful.

I’m so scared I’m backsliding into what I used to be. I’m so scared when I feel this way and genuinely have no idea what to do.

ETA: I remember my therapist telling me to keep a list of things I like about myself, and I’ve even done so before. I don’t know how convincing I will find it in the heat of the moment, but it’s worth a shot.

#a #a journals

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whitneycolin · 4 years

Text

Will My Ex Come Back After 8 Months Wondrous Tips

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How To Get My Ex Husbands Tax Refund For Back Support

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How To Get An Ex Girlfriend Back Fast

#Will My Ex Come Back After 8 Months Wondrous Tips #How Long Should I Wait To Get My Ex Girlfriend Bac

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