#this ask sat for a week bc i Had to draw smth for this but well. heh. My midterms

[heartorbit]

Ur last posts tags spoke to me personally. Like magical girl, swan lake, and little prince gachas? Yes, yes, and yes! Ive been rotating these in my head for so long.

"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you..."

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"Then it has done you no good at all!"

"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields."

^ this is SO wxs like oh my god. I’d love to know what role u think they’d be in the story

And idk much abt the other stories you said but I trust they would also slap as gachas

oh i love you. listen

i could honestly make a case for any wxs member in any role but i think the best fits for their characters are emu as the little prince, rui as the narrator, nene as the fox and tsukasa as the rose. or perhaps it's my emu favoritism talking

i'm not even sure how to justify or explain myself for each decision. source: trust me bro. emu has held on to her whimsy but lives in loneliness and rui has had his creativity stomped down throughout his life and nene's timidness gives way to her earnest desire to connect with other people and tsukasa cried and threw up because he's not special. does anyone understand me

again i think there's argument to be had for other roles, i think they could all potentially fit as the narrator in some way or another. or like, tsukasa as the little prince or nene as the rose or emu or rui as the fox could all work too. come into my inbox and send anons saying im super wrong so i have an excuse to talk about it more please.

OK wxs swan lake i will wait for until my final breath like they can't just make one of emu and rui's cheerful carnival team names "the duck and the crow" and expect me to NOT make this about princess tutu. you're joshing me colopal. though i think rui and nene would pass away doing ballet i know they are not doing their stretches sorry

[dragoninahumancostume]

Was dreaming of like the Powerpuff girls and Dr Utonio had a meeting at a computer and I think I was either Blossom or her sister I think? And the dream starts with the doctor (who is not the doctor, he looked skinnier and darker and kinda like if Waluigi had sharper edges? Idk what I'm saying) drawing in his computer for the notification bar's signs, like let's say he was doing some shit like changing the symbol of like the lantern or smth and he was making it look like a beetle, something like that. And he's excited to explain it and he seems to really like it. And so we go to the place and I'm too lazy to describe it tbh but we (the doctor, the girls and me) go there and the ppg wait outside. So doctor goes inside for a while with me and then he goes out once he's done saying all the pros and cons of the computer and there's a black screen with white letters hanging on the wall that says "correcto" "mal" and something else above "correcto" and to the side of the words they have hours so it's all scheduled and have some glowing red and green points to mark which ones we're done talking about. And then is my turn to say what I like about the computer, which I had never used or even touched. And I'm like "well I like the art feature because you know in an artist and creativity is important for me, and that feature allows my creativity to flow in more ways than in normal art programs", it's not word for word but it's close enough, and I legit was just bulshitting my way out of that presentation lmao. And so the lady (who kinda looked like the scientist from Dragons Rising? But kinda younger) that was asking me while the other people, I remember clearly seeing one man and someone else sitting on the table the doctor sat but it was suddenly a four person table instead of a one person (chairs appear outta nowhere), the table was just below the screen. Well so the lady asks me about what I don't like about their laptop (bc apparently they had also made a laptop and I was meant to try it??) and I'm like "Uh..." and I honestly don't know what in the actual fuck happened in between events but the man was like searching through my brain or something and he found some picture that looked like those old things that used to show movies in the projector (like the thing with lotta pictures?) and the picture was a girl that was in blue outfit that was like a swimsuit and she had some thick thighs and was kneeling, and he saved the picture that he found, but only the lower half and he gave me back to upper half, but that girl was a fox, like I had furry art of a girl in a swimsuit saved in my brain and the dude simply saw it and said "ah yes, for the investigation, that is the only reason I could need this, no other reason at all" and he took it and (he found other things but I don't remember what) the they sent me outside and I was talking to the girls about the fox he found. And then I'm in the supermarket with my parents and my sister is sitting in the shopping cart and I decide to buy a board game and I take it from the shelf and I hug it close to me like "maybe I have a problem..." (likely referencing the fact that I've been thinking of a magical card board game with dragons for at least a whole week every day) and I was hoping my parents would let me buy it. And the cover of the box is blue and it had two girls like jumping to opposite sides or smth, I don't remember what it was but there was a movie about them and it was somehow related to the computer thing from before, the closest idea I can get is the Magic Agency with Hansel and Gretel movie but I know it wasn't exactly that. Well and so I put it in the cart and they let me buy it and then I woke up thinking of foxes in swimsuits and redhead girls with shotguns and long light colored coats

[sanma-tetsurou]

pastry chef! zhong chenle!

you can find the members' i've written at #worker au!!

•one of the sweetest cutest pastry chef you've ever seen

•chenle's favs in the cafe are probably the cakes especially green tea cake

•enjoys working in the back room but he's clumsy af and the others have to look after him so he doesn't burn himself with the oven

•smells like vanilla essence he nearly accidentally spills every time

•wears that little brown apron covered with flour that makes him look real cute

•there's always bits of flour covering his face and it makes him extra cute when he smiles and the customers just nearly can't take his cuteness

•i think chenle's favourite job to do is decorating the cake like he gets to use as much frosting and cream as he likes and sprinkle just whatever onto the cake as long as it looks nice

•can make candy like taffy, toffee and all those and he can make them into pretty things like flowers

•once he made a cake and put a candied rose on it and was displayed the cake was sold in about five minutes with people arguing about which one of them gets the cake and chenle didn't make it again bc he doesn't want the customers to fight

•one day you just wandered aimlessly down the same street where the cafe was since you had nothing to do

•you initially wanted to sneak into your parents' extra car for a drive but then you didn't want to risk your life so you gave up lol

•while walking past the blocks you found a little signboard standing beside a colourful framed glass door, the daily menu scribbled with colourful chalks and cute drawings were drawn by the side so you entered

•the interior was also just like the board by the door, all colourful in pastel colours in a aesthetic way and a display case showcasing the treats

•there were lots of people in the cafe at an unusual time which was like three in the evening where people were either at work or just staying home but you didn't bother it much and went to order a cake

•that was the hardest choice in your life at that moment

•the cakes were all decorated beautifully with the cake's main ingredient's colour without like a whole bowl of cream just simply and they were all your favourite flavours

•someone behind you grumbled about you taking too long and you just decided to ask the friendly looking boy standing behind the counter waiting for you for a cake suggestion whose name tag says chenle

•for a moment you just stared at him, marvelling at his cute face which just screams that he's the epitome of cuteness and the flour on his face and the small baker hat didn't help with you gushing internally about his adorableness

•chenle - "hello?" he says as he waved a in front of your eyes and you snapped out of it and composed yourself

•you - "um can you give me a recommendation for a cake? it's my first time here and the people behind me a shooting lasers at me" and he laughs at your words

•chenle - "sure how about the green tea slice? it's not too sweet and i guess it'll heal some of the holes from the lasers at your back"

•the two of you laughed and you went with his pick which was ready within a moment then quickly paid to avoid anymore looks from them

•you took a seat at a table for two near the counter and you could see the inside of the kitchen through your position through the small glass window??

•there inside was the boy serving you just now, working hard on something he was pulling (and you found it amazing that he could change from serving people cakes and pulling candy just a minute ago)

•you just stared in fascination as he continued pulling them until they form a shape and began pressing and poking them to add the details to it and it was just amazing how pieces of the sticky sugary stuff can be made into something so beautiful

•because of your curiosity in the candy pulling you began to frequent the cafe and chenle always serves you then runs back to the kitchen immediately

•you've seen him make little people figures that were set in the top layer of the display case and boii were they gone fast luckily you bought one right before the mob entered and you studied the candy and certified that he's a prodigy

•obviously through all the visits and him serving you'd know more than a thing of two about chenle and even got his number but none of you invited the other to hang out or anything just some memey chats in the middle of the night

•so like a month and a half gone by with you going to the place nearly every day makes you question actually why you're always there

•and boom you found out it was because meme boy invaded your mind and you have a crush on him

•you didn't dare to say anything so you just continued acting like how you usually were with him

•it felt kinda weird tho bc when he's out at the counter for even a little while the customers flirt with him (not that they don't with the others) and it makes you feel jumbled instead of hurt bc you have no idea that you're feeling jealous (it's your first crush I guess)

•recently you found him staying in the kitchen more making the same-lookinf candy for a few days straight

•one day you received a message from him saying : "can you stay until six?"

•you remembered that that was the cafe closing time and thought it was a weird time but you agreed nonetheless

•soo fast forward to that time you just sat there awkwardly as his co-workers aka dreamies were cleaning up the cafe until jeno brought you to the kitchen where chenle was

•right before jeno leaves you and chenle he shouts smth like chenle owns him a week worth of fries

•so you two awkwardly stand silently until chenle takes a deep breath and starts to talk

•chenle - "um (y/n) here"

•he gives out a bouquet of roses, candy roses glittering in all their might under the light and you just gushed over the beauty of it

•you - "i love these!! but what's the occasion?? our birthdays are over"

•chenle - "i like you"

•you just looked up at him seeing his blush on his cheeks and your mind tried to process his words

•once the words finally sink in you set down the bouquet and throw your arms around him pulling him into a hug and chenle could barely comprehend what was happening

•you - "what took you so long to say it??"

•chenle - "h-huh you k-knew?? about me liking you? the roses took me a long time to make if it weren't for them i wouldn't even wait this long"

•you - "then you don't have to make them"

•chenle - "but i want to make you feel loved" basically he's a cheese ball as he continued to talk and to stop him you had to kiss him on the cheek

•"i like you too candy boy"

thanks for reading!!

[aitian]

Oct 1 2019

Tuesday 11:35 pm

August was fine. I spent time with mom & dad & there were moments. I made pants w mom, mom gave me a nice bob cut, i went to wegmans to eat in the cafeteria w mom sometimes & adele at other times, i passed my drivers test & got my wisdom teeth pulled out, & i did not work on my book. I moved into college & nneka had a lot of friend drama and i felt like am imposter in the irc bc black women should be free in this space without me watching but also they believe in many of the evil col*mbia things i cant think good things abt. I began classes & had a scare when i wasn’t supposed to sign up for my grad student class but i interviewed during office hours & it was fine. i now think honestly i am one of the better students but the class is kinda a mess. so are my other classes. surprisingly cc is very good & i enjoy my prof.

September was less fine but we did it. aside from classes, i am feeling more and less in tough w my femininity. like i present with longer hair now but feel like my body is really awful for ppl to interpret still, and is end up wearing a hat every other day. Mom called me last night & told me she was back from china, my grandparents are fine for now probly, and jimmie/alice’s dad d*ed. I don’t rly know how to process this information but jimmie liked my instagram post last night. that’s so awful.

Some good memories:

- first day of lion dance practice i sweat so much & emma has such good skin they just glow on low plaza under the soft night lamps & i actually had a lot of fun moving around & being around emma & afterward we all went to get free gong cha & i got a mango slush w basil seeds bc i was like wow it’s paid for try smth fancy & i went to emilys woodbridge apt & Claire was there making pottery & emma was talking to them when i walked in & it was so pleasant to see them together and then emma also came to do pottery & we all sat together in claires big bedroom/living room at night & talked & i felt like a part of a rly nice warm family even tho everyone else is not that nice and warm feeling abt each other to some numbed extent bc of crushes & bad behavior & etc but i rly had such a good night

- i went to the ny art book fair with grace & we met emma there & looked at zines & claire came later & i was like wow these ppl who i don’t even know very well took time out of their day to b with me & then emma & i took the train back & i talked to emma abt anarchy & chinese folktales & daoism on the train ride back & also mia mingus on leaving evidence at some point but yea i rly liked sharing time with them on the ride back then i took a nap i shouldn’t have taken & left late to go to my first day of tutoring & ended up being 15 mins late bc the one train goes express on weekends but i stayed for 30 mins extra & got paid 100 for an hr!! i was standing in the elevator with two 50 dollar bills in my hand like??? what??? this is my life? rich ppl just have money to do whatever with ?????? also side note yesterday i taught her how to draw a circle given a center & radius without plotting a bunch of points from solving the equation 💩

- after the wow information session i went back home with em & we cooked noodles together & em told their roommates that there were so many leaks in the kitchen & they all came and gathered around a bundle of leeks on the cutting board & the wow info session had such good black sesame moon cakes bc they were home made & smth abt the freshness just makes them so 香 but yea it was so nice to talk to em & share some hugs & food & it rly reminded me of those times last yr when em randomly invited me over to eat noodles & take care of me & tbh that’s the only non-parent love that feels so real that i can cry

- today was so awful bc it’s a Tuesday & that means i have printmaking from 10-4 & then chinese avant-garde 4-6 plus mei from wow could only call me at 1 today out of all the times this week so i spent my lunch break doing that & another stressful thing was my oral presentation in the grad student class that i was rly not prepared for. so i wake up around 8:30 & try to finish the reading i want to present abt bc i wanna review & don’t come close to finishing & head off to class & i had spent 3 hrs in the print show the previous day preparing materials for this class that we didn’t even use so im making a stupid book & it’s so stupid & i eat a few of my dumplings i fried in the 10 mins before class started & can’t eat them bc i feel watched & pressure to read & pressure abt how i don’t know anything abt what to do in this art class & ppl helping always feels like ppl telling me I’m stupid & also im just feeling bad in my body. so i unsuccessfully make 1 book after two attempts & then it’s 11:30 & i give up & just sit down to read & restless reading & then i go to lunch meaning i come to my room to read & at this point im feeling suuper queasy like dry mouth, throat closing up, feeling like i wanna throw up so i do & there isn’t rly much to throw up & it’s 12:59 & i think abt throwing up some more but i rush to drink water instead & the call comes at 1:03 & i am so cheery & have nothing to say so i just say all the things abt me & then she asks if i have any questions & i talk abt how amazing em is as if that’s an answer but not before telling her u have to go to class so we say bye & i go to class & tomas isn’t there yet even tho he looked me in the eyes earlier in the day & said he wants to meet with all of us for crit & so i ask joanna if we will be learning anything Jew in the afternoon & she says no & she would go if she were sick so i just put my stuff away & go to my room to finish (sorta) reading & type up a script for my presentation & then i tell xinni im leaving class around 2:45 so we go to the heyman center & i finish writing my part of the thing & putting pictures in & she finishes hers & we go to class & our presentation goes very well & lydia helps question ppl for discussion too so it’s not that awkward & i ask lydia abt what is avant-garde if were talking abt capitalists selling colonial modernity & anarchists in the same sentence & she spends the last half our talking abt how movements should resist definitions bc those delineations of boundaries are not conducive to discourse & so class ends & now im shivering bc im sick & i come back to drink some nyquil yay & chat with my ra & then nneka swipes me in to the dining hall but shes w the ra chatting for too long in a line that’s too long so i leave & sit in bed with my food to take a 15 min nap & by some miracle i get up to talk to grace & kyoko abt a workshop for apia-u & then aaa meeting happens & its whatever & i come back to my room- pretty sad day right? but i look at my phone & see Emma has sent me a video out of the blue called i love eggs & it’s just a song saying i love u abt eggs thatturn into superheroes & planes & rainbows & etc & idk if this is a super gay proposal or sorts or just super gay friend things but i think i interpret it as both. Finally i got an email from em saying they would love to welcome me as a wow intern & im sorta guilty bc it somewhat feels like i tricked em into making this happen for me by being pitiful but that’s such an awful thing to think & mostly i am very excited to work with em & see em & go to Chinatown & be tender & goofy & also earn a bit of money?? but yes very very good day.