#this applies to all trans people though because i have seen the same thing being done to trans women and transfem individuals

[uncanny-tranny]

I think many people don't take trans trauma seriously, that it's nothing more than a joke.

As a trans person, it was traumatic to feel as though I would be loved only if I conformed to my expected gender. It was traumatic to hide away, to sever myself from every little thing that made me happy. It was traumatic to discover my gender and sexuality in an environment where I felt insecure and scared.

Masculinity and femininity can be traumatic, for trans people, this is especially true. Treating these traumas like jokes only tells me that you don't support trans people, that we have to have certain experiences in order to be valuable.

[saintjosie]

apologies if you’ve talked about something this before, but your post on experiencing exclusion in trans fem circles on account of being an east asian woman who speaks up came up on my dash and it reminded me of something that‘a been troublingme.

i’m also asian and trans, and i’m always really sent off-kilter when i see white trans people idealizing japanese aesthetics and asian people in general. so many white trans people use anime tropes and aesthetics while also othering real asian people, esp other asian trans people. does it feel appropriative/fetishistic to you?

i guess it’s just something that echoes general white-centric society but it feels like a lot of white trans people focus more on their transness and forget that their whiteness doesn’t just go away or get excused, if that makes sense

this is a great ask with no easy answer. the short answer is yes, you’re absolutely right, but there is also a lot of nuance that’s very important to address too.

white people in general have an enormous problem with misunderstanding the difference between appropriation and appreciation. and that applies to appropriating the culture of all people of color because appropriation is a symptom of colonization. part of that is because it’s very difficult to have a catch-all definition that clarifies the distinction between the two because each person approaches the things they consume in a different way, with varying levels of excitement. i simply cannot point a finger at all white people who enjoy anime and say, “this is bad”, because it simply is not true. it would be just as harmful if a white person were to say, “i would never watch anime because i think it’s weird”, because while appropriation is objectively a form of colonization, appreciation is a celebration of diversity. and celebration of diversity is good!

but i think you hit the nail on the head when you say that a lot of white queer and trans people forget that even though that they are oppressed by cis heterosexual patriarchy, the intersection of oppression that exists between oppressed identities and race means that as white people, they still have white privilege. full stop. and so we often have this issue, especially with young queer and trans people (young as in newly realized queerness and transness, not age) where there is a pause in deconstructing whiteness because they are too focused on deconstructing the privilege that they have suddenly lost by embracing their marginalized identities.

and the issue goes even deeper when you realize that people of color also struggle to realize that we often also perpetuate and contribute to oppression of other people of color as well. east asian people in particular forget that even though we are people of color, we do not face the same kind of oppression that black and brown people of color do, and often we perpetuate racism through appropriation of black culture and also just straight up racism. i think most asian people can attest to how often asian people can be racist as fuck. and i’ve definitely seen asian people who think it’s acceptable to make aave and using the n-slur a part of their personality. and at the same time there is an enormous problem with black people fetishizing asian people and latching on to anime and k-pop in ways that perpetuate the oppression of asian people, as well as just being racist towards asians in general.

and root of the issue is that white supremacy affects all of us. EVERYONE has whiteness to deconstruct because we all live in a system that was built on white supremecy, even if we do not have white privilege ourselves. the answer is that everyone period must bear the burden of constantly deconstructing whiteness, deconstructing our own privilege, and doing our part to lift each other up. and while it is true that white people often have the most work to do in deconstructing their own privilege, none of us are absolved.

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

@braincnancer I DO.

Im going to list them left to right and also provide names so it’s easier to search for these! For any flags stacked ontop of each other, its left, top, bottom. These first are pretty common, but it’ll get crazier as we progress. Let’s go!

Moxxie

Transmasculine: Someone who has transitioned to present as more masculine. This can apply to many people under the transgender umbrella, Moxxie however, is specifically a trans man and is comfortable in the gender binary of only a man.

Biromantic: Feeling romantic attraction to two or more genders.

Demisexual: Only feeling sexual attraction to someone after forming a deep bond with them.

Millie

Demiromantic/sexual: The same for Demisexual, however one also only feels romantic attraction after forming a bond with someone.

Straight ally: Straight, but supportive of the LGBTQ+.

Valentino

Pansexual: Feeling sexual or romantic attraction to people regardless of their sex or gender.

Masculinx: Where one feels their masculinity is xenic-neutral and nonconforming, anyone can be masc regardless of gender because this describes a type of gnc expression not a gender alignment (taken directly from the flag’s description! Coined by SkhOlstun)

Velvette

Cassgender: Where one feels their gender is unimportant, or where one is indifferent from the idea of gender. (Not to be confused with agender where people have no gender at all!)

Bisexual: Feeling sexual attraction to two or more genders. In Velvette’s case she’s also biromantic, but putting both felt a little redundant.

Vox

Bisexual: Look up at Velvette’s

Cherri Bomb

Agender: Where a person doesn't identify with any gender, or feels their gender identity is neutral or doesn't exist.

Biromantic: Look up at Moxxie’s

Pansexual: Look up at Valentino’s

Angel Dust

Boyfakegirl: Where one is 100% boy but 0% girl. Basically a boy who has a connection to the word "girl" but it’s not related to their gender at all. One might be boy/masc, androgynous, or neutral aligned, however their connection to femininity might feel as though it is fake/xenic somehow or is not the standard way usual femininity is.

MLM/Gay: A masculine person who is only romantically or sexually attracted to other masculine or non feminine identifying people.

Rosegender: A gender that is layered and thorny. Trying to hold onto the gender and pick apart every layer only causes emotional pain and stress.

Husk

Pansexual: Look up at Valentino’s

Charlie Morningstar

Biromantic: Look up at Moxxie’s

Agirligirlgender: Where someone identifies as a girl, but also simultaneously subtracted/separate from being a girl. It's not separate from being a girl by social terms, but rather distinct from it entirely, it's almost a paradox. It's not like being a girl in a fem, masc, or neutral way, it's being a girl without being a girl. (This gender was made with specifically neurodivergent people in mind so some people may just not get this one at all and that’s alright!)

Demiromantic: Look up at Moxxie’s

Evangeline/Vannie

WLW/Lesbian: A feminine person who is only romantically or sexually attracted to other feminine or non masculine identifying people.

Aroflux: Where a person who is on the aromantic spectrum experiences their romantic orientation as fluctuating between experiencing romantic attraction and not experiencing it, and/or experiencing romantic attraction to varying degrees.

Demiromantic: Only feeling romantic attraction to someone after forming a deep bond with them.

Alastor

Aroace: Experiencing little to no romantic or sexual attraction.

Forestthing: Where one’s gender feels less like a gender and more akin to a thing in a forest. What the “thing” is, is up to the person.

Humanthing: Where one feels like a human but not. As if you know you're human, but you don't feel human. You feel separated from your human identity and you feel comforted/more comfortable being seen as a thing & or non-human better.

Niffty

Straight Ally: Look up at Millie’s

Sir Pentious

Transmasculine: Look up at Moxxie’s

Non-binary: Where one identifies as a gender partially or wholly outside of the gender binary.

Straight Ally: Look up at Millie’s

————————

Hopefully this was a comprehensive list! A lot of these are a bit odd and I don’t expect everyone to get it, but as someone with a very fluid and odd idea of gender, it’s all just kinda how my head is. Have fun to anyone who enjoys this sort of thing!

[qweerhet]

i have come to realize over the past few days that a lot of bad transfeminist takes on this website are percolating in spaces where it's presumed the transfem experience is one of either attempting to be recognized as a woman socially, or wanting to be recognized as a woman socially but not attempting (with an unspoken "yet" attached), and suddenly everything coming out of those spaces about transmisogyny makes sense.

transmisogyny never applies to men because if you're a woman, you know it already. or if it does apply to men, it always benefits them, because someone who looks like a man and occupies the social role of man could never actually be a woman, at least until they start trying to occupy the social role of woman. if a woman is closeted, she'll come out eventually. people who don't chemically or surgically transition and continue to use he/him are selfishly benefiting from transmisogyny, and don't want to come out because they benefit too much from enacting violence on trans women. transfems are always treated as failed women, and never as failed men, because being transfem means trying to be recognized as a woman. nobody could ever see a real transfem as a man, only men are seen as men, and transfems do things like use she/her and wear women's clothes and go on estrogen, which means everyone knows they're transfem. transfems who are men aren't a part of this conversation. tma people who aren't women don't exist because transmisogyny comes from being perceived as a woman.

and it's like. well. i certainly know lots of people who would directly contest & cleanly disprove your presumptions here (i mean. myself being one of them, even though i do present femme full-time!), but you'll never get the chance to have your worldview shifted, because you've made your social spaces profoundly unfriendly to them!

even if you've already made an effort to decouple transmedicalism from your theory, you still have to make an effort to actually engage with & understand the material experiences of people who don't align with current narratives about transition at all. transfems who use all pronouns and grow massive beards while on e and never legally change their names or gender markers. transneutral and transandrogynous tma people. trans women who refer to themselves as women but do not want to chemically or surgically transition or publicly use pronouns other than he/him, ever. full-time female impersonators who solely use she/her and chemically and surgically transition, but still identify as men. and you have to really engage with what we say about transmisogyny, as in, listen in good faith and understand what we're expressing about its functions in our daily lives!

or you could circlejerk forever about how being a woman is the be-all-end-all of experiencing transmisogyny and personal identification is one and the same as material conditions of privilege, to the point that personal identification automatically prescribes material privilege. and shut out a solid chunk of tma people from your gender theory permanently and irrevocably. and implicitly call a solid chunk of tma people liars for talking about daily life experiences. that's cool too, definitely won't have any negative consequences for trans community and trans spaces in the broader world or anything.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for lying about being cis?

before you automatically click nta, i know i’m under no obligation to tell people that i’m trans. i know that sometimes you have to “lie” about your gender or sexuality to stay safe.

this isn’t really a question of safety though.

basically, i (23m) am a transgender man who is more or less fully passing. since i started physically transitioning and began to pass, i realised that i prefer it when people just… see me as a cis man. i’ve sort of realised that i want to be stealth in all areas of life - the only people who know i’m trans now aside from people who already knew me pre-transition are other trans people or very, very specific friends that i thought were important to tell.

this also isn’t a case of hiding it from romantic partners or anything as my fiancé has been with me since before i transitioned, and though we’re both polyamorous i’d obviously tell anyone we did decide to be with sexually or romantically.

but i’m not just hiding that i’m trans by avoiding the question like i used to, i’ve started actively identifying to people as a cis man. this has kind of resulted in people sometimes talking to me about trans issues etc thinking i’m not related to that topic at all (both negatively and positively) and it makes me feel somewhat dishonest because i know they wouldn’t be saying some of it if they knew they were talking to a trans person.

but i just… enjoy being treated like a cis man? i like other cis dudes including me in, i dunno, dick talk or Typical Man Complaints and taking me seriously as a man without any reservations, when i know it wouldn’t be the same if they knew. and that ALSO makes me feel bad because not only am i misleading people intentionally but i’m also basically letting myself dodge misogyny and transphobia and enjoying being treated "like a man", as someone none of those things apply to, i like being seen as on an equal level to guys and knowing i'd be seen as lesser if they knew the truth

so - aita for not just hiding that i'm trans, but actively claiming to be a cisgender man to people who trust me and that i see as genuine close friends?

What are these acronyms?

[courtmartialme]

Hey! Sorry in advance if this is word vomit-y and a mess im literally crying rn lol

Ok so i found u for ur trans riza art and at first i was like yo cool explicitly trans art! Then i went thru ur blog and found there was so much here and it made me so fucking happy. Like we (trans mascs) domt get as much representation so its really meaningful when u find it in the wild but then when its genuinely good A+ quality content too and theres just so much of it? Words cant describe how fucking happy and seen i felt.

Ive been following u for a while now and just like. Youre so inspiring to me? Like your art is goals its so fucking good, when i see your art it makes me want to draw and improve my own art. Your brainrot and like willingness to do your own thing in regards to trans riza and ur AU art is also just so inspiring to me. And like as a trans masc creator i guess its so inspiring to see you succeed if that makes sense.

As to why im crying rn, i just found ur trans riza comic and its Unlocking things in me its making me cry so hard rn dhddhddnbdjdbdfbnffb like it just makes me feel sm hope for my own future? And idk its just really nice to see such good content and representation that really understands and gets the "trans experience" if that makes sense. So like yeah dhdjdjf just thank you so much for being so inspiring to me and (others bc im sure its not just me that feels like this) and for sharing your art!

that's a very sweet message thank you !!! i'm glad my trans riza art resonates with you ^_^

though anon, i don't think we are "under represented" at all. maybe in big media? sure, idk, i don't pay attention tbh. but anon there are a lot of transmasc artists making transmasc art out there you just have to pay attention :] and i think this kind of art is better appreciated when you stop using words such as "content" and "representation" to describe art made by artists in the wild and save it for big tv shows lol. ofc i get the trans experience, i'm trans. but maybe my trans experience isn't the same as yours. who gets to decide if something so personal is bad or good content? or representation? i think by applying those standards you're only limiting yourself and others

of course, i know you only meant well with your message! but i took the opportunity to ramble about something i think about a lot <3 i'm honored you find my art inspiring bc i honestly mostly draw whatever i feel like drawing lol even though trans riza au isn't very deep or personal or anything, it's important to me so i draw it. i hope all of us can forever create more art about our experiences without worrying if it's good representation or whatnot because that's a silly word to describe the feelings of real people :]

[chuunyu]

Honestly, I find Mizuki relatable for the reasons a lot of people have said they can't relate to them. This isn't to put down anyone, I just wanna share my thoughts too cause other perspectives are interesting ^^

For context, I'm an afab nonbinary lesbian, and I present fairly feminine most days but I am transneutral. I have an accepting family and awesome friends who I know would support me.

The problem is that I'm always scared to come out. Specifically scared of *how things will change,* just like Mizuki is. I don't want people to awkwardly try to acknowledge my transness in regular conversation, or to try to be extra nice because they view me differently but want to pretend that nothing at all has changed, I just want to be the same old me that I always have been. I felt seen by their story in a way I haven't by a lot of other queer media- the anxiety of coming out not being tied to a lack of acceptance but to the *almost* imperceptible way things change and the sudden feeling of being different where you weren't before, especially if everybody around you is cis. It's scary and I think Mizu5, and Mizuki in general, capture that perfectly

Oh huh, I wouldn't have assumed there'd be that kind of appeal to someone who isn't amab transfem.

It makes me think about how actually maybe Mizuki's character being focused on acceptance and nothing else actually helps broaden their appeal, despite still having the complexities that come with being amab.

In general, Mizuki could be relatable for anyone who's fem but has some aspect to themself that others them from "normal" women. For example, being intersex and having that information get out. Really anyone queer can relate to the whole thing of fake acceptance and fear of change.

And that makes me think that actually Mizuki's character is maybe less... imperfect like I've said before and more-so that they were designed really well. They're a character that isn't just accessible by transfems and I think that, that's powerful.

From the two asks I've gotten, I've noticed that people really appreciate or relate to Mizuki despite not fully seeing themself in them. I think that's really interesting, but I don't really know what to say about it exactly.

When I think about the issues that come with Mizuki's acceptance, I think about attitudes towards amab people and their friendships with women. As someone who's been othered by most women in my life outside of when they've wanted to date me, the ways I think about how Mizuki's friendships would change after coming out is very particular. There's always this assumption that amab people are predators and terfs apply that heavily onto trans people. When I see Mizuki after mizu5, that's one of the big things that I think of and maybe it'll be important in the story, maybe it won't (it probably won't). That's a part of how I relate to their situation though. Mizuki being villainized, like, you know, the song,, lol

idk

I think it's cool that there are so many angles of relation to Mizuki! I think it's really cool.

[catboybiologist]

https://www.tumblr.com/radiantfissure/766164937299116032/yes-thank-you-prev-its-such-a-shitty-verbal?source=share

People of colour pointing out a pattern of racism and asking white queer people to do better is not the same thing as transmisogynistic femboys being used as an agp trope like she said. She is allover the place and jump from one point to another. I'm sorry that it makes you uncomfortable that we point out the trends of racism in the queer community and that we have to mention it over and over again to the point that you believe it is an harassment campaign because white queer people refuse to listen and change. If multiple ppl say the same thing over and over again, instead of believing it is a way to oppress white people, maybe take it as a sign that there is a huge problem racism in our community and white queer people must stop acting like victims when we point it out. There is a reason why you barely see any BIPOC in the online queer community. It is inhospitable to us and get called transphobic when we point it out. Not all white queers are like that but I shouldn't have to say it. Just listen to use BIPOC, I'm begging you.

Okay there's a lot here that's a bit of a storm of info and I'm going to be honest, I don't really know what's going on and I'm unpacking what you linked and what you said now.

I don't know if this ask is directed at me specifically, or if its just because I'm a white queer with some kind of following. I didn't interact with the linked post, and I don't know if its vagueing about a specific person or event, or just general sentiments.

First, if I genuinely have done or said anything directly to make BIPOC uncomfortable on my page or in the tumblr community, PLEASE tell me. This isn't a one time thing, I genuinely would appreciate if I'm "called out" in asks, DMs, or some other kind of interaction before something becomes a larger issue.

(This applies universally, btw, and is something I've asked for before. I appreciate directness and clarity a lot, and I do want to listen. I hope that comes across.)

(oh, and also, to white queer followers: don't try to "defend" me if this is pointing out something I did. Cut that bullshit out, its extremely uncomfortable.)

Second, if this isn't about something I've done or said specifically, and you mostly want comment on the post.... yeah, I'm going to be honest, that post is a big fucking problem. There's a LOT to unpack in that post and I don't have nearly the capacity to go through it all. Fuck. This is a half baked thought, but it genuinely feels like they're using some kind of "TMA status" as a deflection of criticism. I've absolutely seen memes about the "racist femboy", but honestly, its nothing more than memes.

I've actually probably seen more racist, internally queerphobic femboys than I've seen memes or stereotypes on the subject. So uh. Yeah.

Imma be blunt. If the stereotype of the "racist 4chan femboy" is something you come across commonly in a way that actually affects discussion and communication about trans issues, and feels more prevalent than the stereotypes that are flown around in political contexts and broader culture... then I'm really sorry, you're probably terminally online.

None of this is well formed thoughts. All of this is a mess. I can't agree with this post, though. The most favorable interpretation of it is that its coming from a place of being extremely online and not really knowing what the actual stereotypes held about trans women are. The less favorable reading is that its deflection.

Third, if there are specific people or events this is referring to, then I well and truly have 0 clue whats going on.

Also, I sympathize with the sheer exhaustion of feeling like you have to say "not all white queers" all the time. Obviously I haven't been in the exact situation, but I feel very similarly about a lot of social commentary- you oftentimes get tired of the little disclaimers intended to make other people more comfortable. Its fucking tiresome.

[a-very-tired-jew]

On ethics and morality from a forensic consultant

Years ago when I was taking my initial coursework to be a forensic consultant I had to take a course on actually being an expert witness. The course itself was taught by several lawyers each with backgrounds in defense and prosecution, I would say combined they had somewhere around 120-130 years of experience. As such, we got a lot of differing view on various scenarios and how to approach them. We learned about Daubert and Frye standards, what it means to be an expert, how to approach cases, and how to be unbiased in our assessments. However, what stands out to this day is that every single one of them had the same thing to say about ethics and morals. That if you start to allow exceptions then they begin to degrade. After enough degradation they will no longer resemble what they once were and you become a truly questionable figure. Can you truly be trusted to uphold anything if you've sacrificed what you once stood for? We've seen this with a number of forensic experts who have been caught manipulating evidence one way or the other. They became devoid of the ethics and morals they once had in order to secure a desirable outcome. I am now going to tie this to the I/P conflict. Why? Because I am seeing Leftists go down this same path. Many of us have documented how Western Leftist Activists have now justified the use of terrorism, sexual assault, and rape as a means of "Liberation" when before October they were saying none of these actions were valid under any means. I have documented on this account how a supposedly progressive space justified the murder, torture, sexual assault, and rape of people under the guise of "Liberation". The sacrifice of ethics and morals for "the Cause" that they so adamantly adhered to and espoused just before says a lot about people and how they feel about Jews. We have seen outright denial that the actions on 10/7 happened even though Hamas filmed and broadcasted them. And if they did happen then it was deserved because *insert justification*. Since when did the Left justify violence against an ethnicity? Since when did the Left justify violence against a minority population that is less than 0.3% of the world? Since when did Western Leftist who openly stand against violent Christian theocratic fascists throw their lot in with violent Islamic theocratic fascists? Everything that we thought the Left stood for has been abandoned and the same hatred and vitriol has now been applied to Jews under the guise of calling us Zionists. I have personally witnessed progressive Leftist trans leaders that I was friends with spread antisemitic conspiracies while saying they only mean "Zionists". I have witnessed them laugh at Jewish pain online and in person, and then have them ask me to support their actions that are separate from the conflict. And guess what? I still do. I support their actions because they are a LGBTQIA+ leader. They are fighting for rights for a community that is constantly under attack in their state (it's a big red one). Do I trust them at all to be normal about Jews? Not at all. Will I hang out with them again? Nope. But my ethics and morals haven't changed. I will continue to be a Leftist because many of the social and economic things I believe in fall on that side of the proverbial spectrum. I just don't see someone like my aforementioned former friend realizing just how much of their actual integrity they've compromised in this conflict. I don't see how many Leftists will be able to reconcile that their ethics and morals are not as stead fast as they formerly professed them to be. And that's terrifying.

[cursedvibes]

jjk having queer-coded villains seems to be an intentional choice. what are your thoughts on this

Honestly, I think the queer themes and characters we've gotten in jjk are pretty great. Yes, some of them are villains and that is a common harmful trope, but first of all it is not just the villains and second you have to look at how their queerness is portrayed and implemented into their characters.

We have characters like Kirara and Hakari and I think you can count Tengen too, who are queer(-coded) and not villains. Their queerness is pretty explicit in case of Kirara and Tengen with Kirara having clearly transitioned and being some flavour of trans and Tengen also openly stating she's lost interest in gender and is if anything a gnc woman. Queerness is also not their entire character, just one minor aspect of it that is honestly not that important. Tengen being responsible for the creation of jujutsu society and Kirara rebelling against the school and then choosing to aid the kids in the Culling Game is much more significant than their gender. Tengen corrects Yuki about being a man and then we move on, it is not actually a big deal. Yuki is more concerned with Tengen's actions than her gender.

The comment from Panda insisting that Kirara is a guy was weird, but it isn't brought up again, everyone just doesn't gender Kirara when seeing them without making a big deal about how "weird" it is for a presumed guy to have boobs like you might've expected in other pieces of media. The implication here I think is just that Panda hasn't seen Kirara in a while nor knows them very well. The comment was unnecessary in my opinion, you could've shown in a better way that Kirara transitioned, but the way it is treated afterwards makes it better. I think it especially helps that we see Hakari so accepting of Kirara, it is something normal and their relationship is loving. Kirara's gender or presumed sex is no issue at all between them and the other characters just roll with it too.

Same could be said for things like Geto and Gojo's relationship for example, the most prominent example of queer-coding in jjk as is also heavily displayed in marketing for season 2 of the anime. Obvious choice, they are by for the most popular ship and tapping into shipping sells. Their the sasunaru of jjk. I don't think you could call it queerbaiting though because contrary to sasunaru you don't have this "jk they both ended up marrying some random women like the heterosexual men they are" and there are literally no confirmed relationships in jjk anywhere except for the people who are married (and those usually don't love each other). stsg have as much ground to stand on as Kirara/Hakari or Muta/Miwa. They are milking that money cow, but with the way it is handled in canon, it doesn't bother me much ignoring their fanbase.

Another aspect we see in stsg that also applies to how we see queerness in some of the villains is that their relationship (of whatever nature that might be) is there to humanize both Gojo and Geto. There is actually some meaning to it, not just shipper bait or an insane villain being gay and that being included as another aspect of him being reproachful like you see with many Disney villains. Geto's bond with Gojo (and his family) is portrayed as the last bits of sanity left in him and also any criticism you'd leverage against that could apply to Gojo as well, a main character.

Similar with the queerness of the other villains. It is either an unimportant detail of their identity or it is actively used to humanize them. Uraume's gender is purposefully unconfirmed, nobody even makes any assumptions and that fact is about as important as their hair colour. It's just part of their identity, nothing more. It is not portrayed as predatory or used for any "trap" jokes. At least not in canon, the fandom is its own beast and I think their behaviour comes from what they are used to seeing in other media not due to anything done in jjk.

Kashimo falls into the same category of unconfirmed gender. Fans and some fantranslators assume Kashimo is a man based on what they looked like in the past, but it is actually never confirmed in the manga. Neither Hakari or anyone else ever genders Kashimo. There being no assumptions made or their possible gender or androgynous appearance discussed. People just roll with it and it isn't made to stand out in the story. I don't think you can even call Kashimo a villain, more like an antagonist similar to Higuruma was one with selfish morality. Their gender or appearance doesn't play into that at all.

With Kenjaku I guess you could see them taking over Kaori as predatory towards Jin, but it is played different than the common tropes. For one, Jin is as it seems aware of the change, just chooses to ignore it. It isn't played as a "man tricked other man into sex" or "man disguised as a woman", in fact the story goes quite out of its way to state that Kenjaku isn't (cis) male actually. Both Wasuke and Jin address Kenjaku as a women, even when they have suspicions. Kaori stays in some form with Kenjaku, she isn't just a cheap disguise and pregnancy overall is an important topic for Kenjaku both in good and bad ways. When Kenjaku says "thank you for getting along with my son" it is the first big step towards giving Kenjaku more depth than just them being a big bad mastermind. Kenjaku cares in some way for their child and doesn't just see him as a test subject. So the time in Kaori's body clearly had value to them as well beyond just getting a vessel for Sukuna. Same goes for their meeting with Takaba for example, which is the biggest example we got so far of Kenjaku being proven to care about other people and gaining depth through it. Their relationship with Tengen could count as well.

So the queer aspects we got of Kenjaku are there, but they aren't shown in canon to be something strange, quite the opposite usually. I think you see it best when you compare Kenjaku to Orochimaru, who clearly, as stated by Gege too, is a big influence for the character. Orochimaru has the body of a woman in the first part of the series, takes over the bodies of children and shows interest in Sasuke that is often seen as gay. Orochimaru is portrayed as predatory particularly towards children/boys, a persistent stereotype of gay and/or effeminate men as well as trans people. When Orochimaru reveals in the fight against Hiruzen that he inhabits the body of a woman, the characters around are disgusted and not only because this means another person's body was violated, the uncertainty of Orochimaru's gender unsettles them. You see the same thing in Boruto. Multiple characters make mean or disgusted comments about Orochimaru because they can't tell their gender and the whole "are you a man or a woman, a father or a mother" gets pushed a lot, often used as a joke. Mitsuki is being supportive and corrects people, but that doesn't stop Orochimaru's gender being brought up almost every time they feature in the series. "omg I can't tell this person's gender this is so weird and creepy" don't you have more pressing concerns like the fetuses swimming in those tanks or the human cloning?

Compared to that, Kenjaku is handled much better. There is no weird fixation on children, they have only taken over adults from what we've seen so far (due to the size of their brain and it being a real organ I think that is even a necessity) and the bodies are also mainly there for practical needs, Kenjaku isn't shown lusting after them no matter the person's gender. Choso goes from assuming Kenjaku is Yuuji's father to calling them a parent. It isn't commented on, we just assume Tengen informed him. Kenjaku being revealed to be Yuuji's mother isn't shocking because "wtf that's a man in a woman's body", it is more so about the implications of them being related. It is also used to show that Kenjaku is actually not a cis man (everyone at that time even doubting Wasuke uses she/her naturally with Kenjaku not objecting to it despite not really pretending to be Kaori) and by being his mother they have a closer personal connection to Yuuji. The fandom usually puts more harmful tropes into this moment than there actually are in the manga. I'm pretty sure Yuuji was more concerned about Kenjaku actually being related to him than Kenjaku being his mother aka exhibiting a gender he might not have expected. The "my father is your mother that's so mind-boggling and weird" is something that only exists in fandom. I don't see a reason why Choso or Yuuji would care and everyone else even less.

Takaba putting Kenjaku in a nurse outfit is also only portrayed as another fun part of their shenanigans, being neither overly sexualized nor seen as off-putting or weird. I think it was actually put there because Gege wanted to emphasize once more that having a female body doesn't unsettle Kenjaku, they see it as normal. It is part of their identity, but that itself isn't the thing being made fun of, it's a joke about sexy nurses that's detrimental to Takaba if anything.

In the same way, Kenjaku being pregnant with Tengen isn't made a big deal either beyond what it means for the Culling Game or the merger. It isn't a strange pregnant man, just another instance of pregnancy symbolism in this manga where cursed wombs are quite a common thing. And Kenjaku's whole deal is motherhood, birth and pregnancy down to the choice of their name, which is derived from an ambiguously gendered or Virgin Mary-adjacent bodhisattva. These pregnancy themes are shown as both a good thing and a bad thing depending on the context and not on principle as disgusting or bad. Kenjaku's gender fluidity has thematic relevance, but it isn't mocked or portrayed as bad by itself.

Beyond Uraume, Kenjaku and maybe Geto depending on how you look at it, I don't think there are any other queer-coded villains? Mahito was a high school girl for a juju sanpo, but that episode was more wholesome if anything and I think it was just there to show his fluidity in sex and gender. Once again not mocked or brought up as a reason for why he's evil (she isn't even that evil in that high school AU).

So yeah, I don't see a problem here, I actually wish more mangas or animes would portray queer characters this way. Make sure villains aren't the only queer characters, don't make queerness their entire character trait and treat the characters with respect.

[toxifoxx]

🐻🛠️?

🐻🛠️ (Henry Emily) ⬆⬆⬆

shidddd have i really never done a headcanons post on henry?!?! time to correct that. putting this under a readmore again cause it got long

born and raised in utah i think. maybe in a different town from hurricane but he does live in utah. in a semi-rural area

has siblings!! jen is his older sister. still a little fuzzy on if he'd have more siblings or not - i think he would, but they're not important enough for me to give much thought to (SORRY)

he's sort of the weird kid. on account of his autism actually! he grows up pretty isolated unfortunately, most kids at school avoid him or find him strange. and if they're not offput by his resting bitch-face they end up getting offput by his interests.

in his family, though, he's seen as very smart and talented. perhaps even the star child! i think they dont really understand him all that much. the concept of autism is puzzling to them. but they're supportive of his interests in engineering/robotics and encourage him to pursue that.

family isnt mormon, but they are catholic! henry isn't exactly a bible-thumper or even super into it or anything but the catholic upbringing definitely influences how he thinks. this especially applies to his relationship with william, feeling constant guilt like it's something wrong and they shouldn't be together.

on the contrary henry's family probably wouldn't even mind. jen definitely wouldnt. i think his dad is shitty and homophobic and his mom also internalized some of those ideas but both of them would've come around to it eventually…RIP

college is the first time he isn't a complete outcast - he's still not exactly social, or even well-liked, but certain people are drawn to his autistic swag (namely william, clara, and maria. definitely a couple others, probably mostly people in the same major as him)

him and william have a bit of a tense relationship when they first meet. they get on eachother's nerves & also william is being a fuckin prickkkk. but he mellows out a little (A LITTLE.), they get to know eachother, and find common ground with their shared interest in engineering. (even though william is majoring in business)

despite having MULTIPLE flings with william he ends up marrying maria, mostly as a desire for normalcy, but he does also love her, she's incredibly kind and understanding and almost everything he could ever want. unfortunately she dies shortly after giving birth to their first child, charlie.

henry loves charlie very much since she's his only kid. but as much as he loves her he's like, similarly a workaholic as william, and so he can be quite neglectful and isnt always watching her. this is why the puppet exists

mentioned it before but he stops believing in god after charlie's death. his faith is like completely shattered by that.

smoker, occasional drinker. both habits get worse after charlie dies.

oh also i think henry is kinda apathetic towards gender. he wouldn't fall under the trans umbrella he just Doesnt really care how he's perceived. and he doesn't make a huge effort to appear masculine he just kind of falls into that category by default.

a slight accent to his voice. like he used to have one but it dissipated. i was gonna say he sounds slightly, vaguely southernish but that doesn't make sense

bro loves the outdoors!! hiking, camping, fishing… all things william hates because 1. hates getting dirty 2. burns to a crisp in the sun. even so, henry can convince him to come a couple times. maybe the whole family. god that sounds like a nightmare actually

also also mentioned before but him and william are so close they might as well be raising their kids together. family but not officially. ya know.

though they did have elizabeth together. there is still that. so. maybe they should be raising them together

henry learned to sew from his mother, maybe the basics of cooking too. had to actually fully learn to cook after the death of his wife.

i feel it'd be quite fitting if he worked as a mechanic for a while. like maybe during college.

oh!! and he does woodcarving. he used to make little wooden carvings of bunnies for william. nowadays he usually does them as gifts for the kids (if they have something particular they like: e.g. a fox for michael, a bear for evan)

haven't settled on it yet but i do like the idea of henry being the fnaf 3 guard. its fun.

fnaf 3 to fnaf 6 henry is basically a tired old man who's ready to shuffle off this mortal coil but sticks around mostly for the purposes of putting an end to the shit he and william started. getting that final closure. perhaps for justice, but that's a smaller part of the picture. henry is a little bit selfish, after all

maybe took remnant after discovering an excess that william had hidden away. he was born in 1940 he'd be 83 in 2023. which is quite fucking old. i think he'd need it a little bit

i tried to go over ones i mostly haven't said before, so there's a few things left out (and why some important story beats are missing). feel free to ask again if you want to hear more, this is getting long enough already LDSLGKDSJGLS

[velvetvexations]

i honestly think some of it is that some people just like having an entire group of people they can view as beneath them and deserving of whatever they throw at them, and marginalized people tend to pin other marginalized people as that because they don't have any structural power to hurt them for it. there's a fair amount of people who are marginalized whose end goal for society is just that they get to be the ones stepping on other people rather than nobody getting stepped on presumably because they feel like they're owed the experience due to getting stepped on themselves and it sucks. it's weird in this case with a lot of it being transmascs whose target is basically "transmascs who aren't like me, the Good Transmasc" but it really doesn't feel any different, given the way they shittalk people the concept that it's in defense of trans women just feels like an excuse lol

Everyone always finds someone beneath them. I know Velvet Nation doesn't want this to make me feel like an oppressor for being a trans woman, but it is remarkable that before paying more attention and learning about the situation transmascs are in, I totally thought that I was in fact the worst treated minority in the entire world - though even then only marginally, and only to the extent that comparing that kinna thing is useful at all which I've always doubted. Yet here is a very niche context in which I am if not an oppressor class still a member of a category that is "benefiting" (the harm it does transfems is much more subtle) from giving another group shit and deprioritizing them.

Like, yes, that may be an extremely specific situation that doesn't apply outside of it, but isn't that interesting? It's the same thing that's been seen with bisexuals and aroace people in the past. That didn't make gay people an oppressor class, but they were still capable of finding people to pick on in some capacity.

Now I've gone from thinking "my people have probably got the it the worst by at least a hair but that's not a helpful data point" to "I despise comparisons like that on a fundamental level and it must be actively rooted out".

[ozimagines]

The Trouble with Robson…

So… I’ve seen some discourse on this site about James Robson… and I want in lol.

I’ve got a lot of thoughts about this man, and based on everything I’ve read from other Oz fans, I might have an unpopular opinion.

Please don’t get me wrong! Season 2-Season 5 he was a tremendous piece of shit. Like in every way possible it is to be a piece of shit. But that said I have two points: 1) that’s what makes him an good CHARACTER, not a good person, and 2) a redemption arc doesn’t mean that person is automatically forgiven, but are going down a better path and MIGHT be forgiven for their actions at a later date. It is with this, your honor, that I submit that Robson’s redemption arc was actually one of the better plot lines in Oz. (Please don’t hate me lol)

Okay, so Robson season two, pretty easy to characterize. He’s a Nazi. He’s violent. He’s a rapist. Very easy to hate. Season three, he’s lieutenant to Vern Schillinger in the Aryan Brotherhood. He boxes and such. In season four, he’s a menace, coming into his own character. He threatens on his own and has his own plot lines now. Season five is more of the same, at first, he rapes Peter Schibetta, he tries to ruin Beecher’s life, etc. He commits one of the more heinous of his crimes in my book when he kills the young Muslim man in the store room. A long, drawn out process that James is smiling through. He LOVES violence. More than anything he seems like he was made for prison. Then he learns about his gums, makes racist remarks to the doctor, one thing leads to another, he has black man gums and gets kicked out of the brotherhood.

He’s destitute and alone, which is all he deserves. But even Kareem Said finds pity for him and says “God is trying to teach you something. Please be smart enough to learn.”. What can even God attempt to teach someone like James Robson? He does what he needs to survive. He joins Cutler and agrees to be his prag. Here’s where some views from other Oz fans and I start to diverge. You look at videos on YouTube, many of the comments you’ll find say “good, he deserved it.”. The best argument I heard for this was actually from Funky Frog Bait on YouTube talking about misgendering murderers. Many people misgendered the nonbinary Nashville shooter. Why would you respect the pronouns for a person that horrible? Because, as Funky Frog Bait said in their video, it revolves around your opinion of gender as a whole. If you can just revoke someone’s preferred pronouns when they’re bad people, how “bad” does a trans person have to be to not have their pronouns respected? People of differing “politics” (morals) say different things, but if we apply this argument to Robson’s situation, I think it has to do with one’s overall view of rape. How “bad” does someone have to be before being raped is considered a reasonable punishment? For me, it’s never. For me, just as in never revoking someone’s right to their preferred pronouns, I also think it’s never justifiable to rape someone. So, no, I don’t think Robson deserved to be raped, even though he was a serial rapist himself, because there’s no situation where I think rape is a justifiable response. People may disagree with me, but I think it’s a slippery slope when you can deem someone as deserving of rape.

We learn during this time, as he’s being beaten and abused sexually by Cutler, that James was beaten and abused by his father as a kid. He confirms that this occurred while he was only five years old. His first introduction to life and sex was violence. Maybe this gives you sympathy for him, as it did me, but maybe you say fuck him, it doesn’t excuse anything. But I don’t think that it was meant to be an excuse, I think it was meant to be an EXPLANATION. I think we were learning how he became James Robson of unit B, not justifying his actions as James Robson of unit B. He was a child and the person he was supposed to trust most in this world gave him very harsh lessons very early on: no one cares about you, and do what you need to do to survive. He becomes demure and pitiful in Sister Pete’s office. One line that stuck with me was “here I am, 35 years old and I have nowhere to run.”. He’s been running his whole life. Running away from an abusive father and running away from his own actions. “I shame to think of what I’ve done. Look on it again, I dare not.” Is Cutler’s line as MacBeth in the play. It is an apt line for James. He’s been running from his own actions for as long as he could remember. Like I said, none of this justifies the lives he’s ruined and taken, but it does explain the inter-workings of a character that was pretty static for four seasons. That he survives. He tells Sister Peter Marie that all he does is run from things. I truly believe that some of the reason he was able to be as ruthless as he was is because he doesn’t let himself think about his own actions.

Finally season 6! He kills Cutler with some kinky play, joins the brotherhood, and it seems like he’s back, right? Only when he sees his wife, we see some of the shame come back. Some of the embarrassment of being taken in that way. If he feels this way now, he felt this way for however long his dad was abusing him. He loses it with her for calling him a “cock sucker”, which CLEARLY he’s embarrassed/ashamed about. He hurts her, and immediately, instantly, feels bad about it. I love learning the morality of immoral characters. With everything he’s done, why was hurting his wife crossing a line? Because she trusts him, just like little James trusted his dad. I think, personally, that he sees himself as her personal protector. Since he couldn’t protect himself, he became the protector for her, and then for Vern, but James isn’t stupid enough to think Vern can’t take care of himself. I think hurting his wife tore him up so much because he remembers when he relied on his dad for everything, and his father took advantage of his state.

Then he finds out he has AIDS. He joins a support group for rape survivors. They talk about their experiences and James listens to all of them. He thanks them towards the end, saying it was good to “hear it from both sides” which we know is something he knew already since he was at least five. But hearing those stories, all of which are upsetting but some are straight gruesome, puts FORCES him to face his actions. He can’t run anymore, his lifestyle caught up with him. Am I saying he deserves AIDS? 🤷‍♀️ Chissà. Who’s to say? He has it though. There’s a deleted scene where he lets Clarence rape him (I understand “lets” and “rape” don’t make much sense together but I don’t think coerced consent is consent at all so it’s still assault), and it gives Clarence AIDS. Robson says something interesting, with his classic smile on his face. “Retribution. It’s all about retribution.”. That’s what Oz is about. Retribution. It should be about Rehabilitation, but it’s all about Retribution. This is where James’ story ends on the show. With him moving to unit F, the AIDS unit. Finally, even if only physically, is he forced to face his actions.

This is why I think his story was beautifully written. He’s just a meathead in the beginning, but we learn about his morality -because he does have a code, even if it’s not a good one-, his past, and his future. They took a character that was frankly very flat and gave us a wide enough view on his life and character to confuse our anger into sympathy into more anger and into sadness. I don’t know if anyone else felt this way but my heart just dropped when he mentioned his dad. James Robson never stood a chance. He was a monster in training since he was five. But no one deserves to be raped. (A good reference is Adam Gunzel who was a BIG prick… but never deserved that shit.) Anyway these are just some of my thoughts on one of the most interesting characters in Oz (to me at least) and gave us an actual character out of a plotless muscle man.

One thing I think we can all agree on:

Retribution. It’s all about retribution.

[trans-androgyne]

I'm so sick of this. Trans men could be fucking like "lets have a discussion about unsavory attitudes or actions within queer communities when it comes to gender" and a bunch of fucking people INCLUDING OTHER TRANS MASCS are like "wooooooow cant believe youre attacking TRANS WOMEN like that this is obviously bigotry. after all theyve been through?? I am going to assume this mild criticism is about trans women (which you never said it was at all even once) and THEN tell you that because transphobia exists any disagreement with a trans woman means you want her to be HARASSED. I can't believe you think harassment is okay. also even though trans women are poor victims (I am speaking on behalf of all trans women) who you arent allowed say anything in opposition to (I think trans women are defenseless and attack people based on the idea that any criticism is trying to ruin their lives) (don't you know its impossible for a trans woman to ever be treated with respect or have a good life ever and in fact they are all doomed to being treated horribly?) (this is me HELPING trans women by the way I'm an ALLY) and trans men are the problem and somehow even though we're all in the same community Poor Trans Women are so oppressed they would be RUINED by disagreements (I am speaking on behalf of every trans woman and I know not a single one wants to have an interesting discussion about oppression or gender) this is me being an ally btw I could never be transmisogynistic by talking like this. also somehow transphobes check what type of trans you are, if youre a trans woman they hate you and if youre a trans man they say "yay you're a man" and treat you wonderfully because if youre a man youre always treated well no matter what other types of oppression you might face I think of this as being progressive.

Sorry for the long rant(?) I have a lot of thoughts. In summary: some people see themselves as such trans woman defenders that they a hundred percent loop around to infantilising them by implying its too hurtful to have a conversation. I've seen this exact type of behaviour as a trans man when it comes to misgendering. someone slips up and instead of being like "oops I mean he" they go some equivalent of "oh my gosh im sooooo sorry i cant believe I did that to you you probably feel miserable have I ruined your day oh my goodness dont cry ill make it up to you I know you have now become an emotional wreck from the horrible thing I did to you im sorry im sorry im sorry I just need to make sure everybody can hear how HURT you are by one misgendering" this is an example of how "being an ally" loops around to calling you fragile and a literal baby. They make it worse even though theyre "on your side" by implying you cant handle anything and they have to "fix it" because you just would collapse immediately at something maybe affecting you.

On the one hand, I understand where a lot of this is coming from. Trans women do get harassment campaigns started against them for small issues. It’s best not to resolve real problems with specific transfems in a public forum. So many have described the feeling of transmisogynistic hypervisibility as a panopticon and that very much applies in these discussions.

But trans women also aren’t made of glass. And they aren’t immune from making mistakes and causing harm. Making posts that contradict some trans women’s understandings of transmasc oppression is not transmisogyny. Pointing out that something they said or did was hurtful or transphobic is not transmisogyny. People act like this is how you treat trans women with respect and it’s very much not. This is not being “normal” about trans women. They are human beings who yes need some extra care and protection but are also capable of talking things out instead of collapsing into dust at the first sign of criticism. I know not all trans women like being treated this way in the slightest. I hope we’ll be able to find ways in the community to still uplift their voices and mitigate harm done to them without putting them on a high pedestal or shielding them from all criticism and intracommunity discussion that does not go their way.

[roadhogsbigbelly]

she did NOT say that fictional csa is fine though, that’s the thing that everyone is very expressly telling you. and IM not defending “���people who jack off to fictional children”” either, where the fuck are you getting that, do you just say this shit to every trans woman you see? you can’t argue by putting shit in people’s mouths. the “standards” you are describing are the same standards that the people you’re smearing agree with. im not saying its all or nothing at all, you just can’t take anything we’re saying seriously

when you read "stopping being mean to sex freaks who like ageplay and incest shipping" why do you think that suddenly stops at loliporn or fictional csa when that's part of the package? do you think "ageplay and incest shipping" only applied to game and thrones fanfiction and mild "daddy" play? like of course those posts saying "don't be say you love sex freaks if you don't include ALL sex freaks" is also including fictional csa, like fucking cailou porn or whatever. because the posts those are response to are like "stop being mean about people with weird fetishes that make you uncomfortable! (except fictional csa fuck you you can die)" if she's not supporting fictional csa great, but why did she reblog the fucking post than?

and again the fact that i criticized her has nothing to do with her being a trans woman, that didn't even cross my mind, and i've criticized cis men, cis women, trans men, non binary people and people of all genders and sexuality that have been dismissive of concerns over this shit. i've criticized cis women on twitter for publicly posting their weird underaged boy rape fantaties and i got accused of "hating women's fantasies", i've also critcized other cis gay men for drawing actual "toddlercon" and got accused of being a "pick me" gay, and other variations of "stop criticizing grown adults for what they do in private even if they post in publicly actually oops"

i don't actually care what people do in the privacy of their own homes, but the only reason people on tumblr make posts about how "you should stop being mean to people about their age play, incest porn" is because most people don't actually keep it private actually, or else other people wouldn't be seeing it and complain about it. like if you go into someone's dms or a locked private space to "out them" for being into scooby doo or even some actually more harmful fantasy than that's still kind of gross and intruding and they shouldn't do that, but if said person is doing it in a PUBLIC FORUM than yeah they're not above criticism because it's their own "private fantasies" when it's clearly not.

(and before you take words out of my mouth i am not inherently against public displays of sexuality or even kink, i don't think a child seeing a man in a pup mask and harness is going to tramatize them, i think they'll be fine, and in general i think try to hide the fact "sex" like. exists from children does not nothing to deter grooming and kind of causes it in some cases. i've seen people insisting that people who don't lock their nsfw twitter accounts of adults have regular but explicit sex that they're are personally grooming children who might have to figure out porn exists, and i think that's an unhealthy attitude to have. my point is more that the entire argument that noone can criticize or have a negative opinion on "ageplay" or "incest kink" because "it only exists between two private consenting adults" is just. not true.)

[ace-sher-bi-john]

Info On My Identity:

Romantic - Pan Greyromantic and/or Cupioromantic, Romance Favorable

Greyromantic because while I can't really say for sure if I've ever experienced romantic attraction before, I have experienced crushes, or rather squishes, before. They could have been purely aesthetic or platonic attraction, I think my brain is like holding out hope that I might actually be able to experience romantic attraction. As amatonormative as it sounds. It's mostly because I'm going to attempt to seek out a romantic relationship someday once I've finally "got my life together" whatever that means, and I would feel super guilty for the person I date if there's zero romantic attraction there on my part...

Cupioromantic perfectly describes me, as I want to participate in romantic relationships and get married someday, despite experiencing little to no romantic attraction. The reason I haven't used this label until now is because I read that some people in the aromantic community don't like it as an identity label due to it technically describing a behavior that you can control (whether you get into romantic relationships or not) rather than a feeling that you can't control (whether you experience romantic attraction or not), and it's seen by some in the community as reinforcing amatonormativity. I didn't want to upset people if using cupioromantic was wrong. But it's not. Cupioromantic is a valid identity, if anyone needed to hear that. I will be using cupioromantic from here on out, along with the other labels I use.

Up until now, I've been using romance favorable to describe that sentiment. That still applies, I am a romantic, despite being aromantic. The aromantic only applies to the type of attraction I experience, and has nothing to do with my desires.

I also use pan to describe me on top of all that because the few times I've had squishes, I've had them on both men and women. It felt more like the "genderblind" version of pan attraction as it was more about thinking they were adorable and liking their personality without gender coming to the equation at all. Going by this logic, I feel like this could also apply to nonbinary, trans and cis people of all gender identities. It doesn't matter to my brain whatsoever.

Sexual - Asexual, Sex Averse/Sex Favorable (depends on the day)

I identify as asexual. Although whether I'm sex-averse or sex-favorable depends on how I'm feeling each day. Ever since I opened myself up to reading explicit fanfics my brain has become more open to the idea of at least giving sex a try. It still sounds a bit icky sensory wise, but I think that if I tried it with someone who I trusted to respect my boundaries, I would be comfortable with giving it a go. Obviously I won't try it if I'm not 100% comfortable. Although I do want to have kids one day, and this is the "cheapest" way to do it. I'm not affording adoption, sperm bank or test tube baby on a preschool teacher salary lol.

Gender - Genderfluid and depending on the day I identify as either woman or gendervoid. Sometimes I feel like both describe me at the same time.

I was assigned female at birth, and I still very much identify with being a girl. I love presenting in a feminine way, I love traditionally feminine things, feel most comfortable using she/her/hers pronouns and feel confident in my body. But I've always felt a slight detachment between myself and other women. Whenever issues affecting women come up, my brain would always think like "Oh that's not good, I'm sorry that's happening to them" as though it doesn't affect me, despite the fact that I'm a woman. I have almost a dissociation between women and me even though I belong to that group.

I really thought about gender identity to see if I identify with any of the other gender identities out there, and every time I've always come back from it with "Definitely still cisgender woman, but with a hint of nonbinary". I didn't identify with the nonbinary part of me because I didn't want to lie about my identity if I'm actually a cis girl. But then, when a transphobic classmate jokingly asked me what my pronouns were, I came to the realization that I don't really care. I will always be most comfortable with she/her, but they/them and he/him and even neopronouns don't feel wrong on me. They feel neutral. I wouldn't feel uncomfortable being referred to by any of them. After a bit more research, I found the agender identity and it certainly described me, but it didn't really feel quite right either. Then I found gendervoid and it felt perfect. Gendervoid and agender basically mean the same thing, not identifying with any gender identity and feeling like you don't have a gender. But gendervoid specifically describes feeling like there's a void where your gender identity should be. That describes the dissociation from any gender identity that I experience a lot of the time. But I still identify as a girl as well.

Genderfluid still doesn't feel quite right, but it does describe me feeling both identities together.

Anyway that is everything that you need to know about my identity for now. If anything about this changes, I will probably make another post explaining it :)