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stopbeingnecrophiles · 4 years ago

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⚠️warning post regarding the users weimu (now ppgd), flonnezillas, & stupidneet (check blog description for updated urls)

UPDATE AS OF 5/02/2021 (BEFORE POSTING): the user weimu now goes under the name “gabberzon“. this url was a past username flonnezillas owned, and is now in use under the user weimu. user flonnezillas has terminated (to our knowledge). stupidneet has also changed her url to darkishcircles. UPDATE AS OF 5/14/2021 (BEFORE POSTING): raquel has deleted her server. the people behind the post still find everything here relevant and necessary to bring to light.

the following post was made as a warning to showcase the behavior of some of the users on the site. if you're a minor we highly discourage you from interacting with any of the individuals mentioned; if you're 18+, do as you wish but with discretion (and the trigger warnings in mind). we find the things these users have said and done to be morally reprehensible, and to be genuinely concerning. this isn't some random petty callout post; we sincerely believe the behavior of those mentioned to be genuinely concerning and need to be brought to light.

that being said, we also do not condone the harassment or hate towards these users. the people behind this blog recognize that bringing forth this sort of thing may incite other users to do so, but we highly are against it. sending hate and harassment is not the way to go about this. simply stay away from those users if you have nothing better to add to the situation. thank you.

(all images have been censored for proper viewing. if you don't believe the claims being made, you're free to ask for the uncensored versions of the screenshots off anonymous so long as you're 18+. usernames/icons censored are of the minors or those irrelevant to the post in the server.)

⚠️ major tw: necrophilia, lolicon + pedophilia mentions, nsfw, irl gore (one image in particular contains a 17 year old girl)/drawn guro, & underaged characters in torture/sexual situations. ⚠️

users mentioned + their past/present urls (please check description of the blog for updated urls):

raquel/witch/cas (17 yrs at the time of posting) (neko865 > ureshichan > autismchan > weimu > gabberzon > omduvarmin > ppgd | past sideblogs were disgustchan, suicidegirlsjp, and now currently speedcorebeach [tw for guro/gore])

dasch/rena (18 yrs at the time of posting ) (catgirlmode > slashermedia > mawisa > stupidneet > femcelirl > darkishcircles > aspiechan > 719203727299272910822810 > 71920372729922980822810)

maid/val/vale/valentine (20 yrs at the time of posting ) (morimiyamiddleschoolshooting > raspberry-valentine > nekrofylia > phonestalker > gabberzon > pukemaid > morimiya > flonnezillas | sideblog named ichigomashimaros)

url proof here.

TW: THE SERVER ITSELF AND ITS CONTENTS

first thing we’d like to address here is raquel’s server and what goes on in it, as the server is not at all properly ran or moderated well. on her blog, she explicitly states this:

but still allows those under the age of 16 to join her server, and doesn’t even make it mandatory to make an intro or for the users in there to state if they’re a minor or not. however there are minors that are in the server, and it’s clear who they are. we wont be showing who they are, but there are a handful that have joined and are active within it.

raquel herself is also a minor (being 17) so it’s odd that she wouldn’t make sure that fellow minors wouldn’t be kept away from some of the things that are said and shown in the server. that being said, a few of the conversations that have gone on publicly in the server have been about:

dasch’s tights and how sweaty they were, with raquel and maid talking about wanting to do things to her tights

dasch offering her bra

talking about having phone sex together

openly condoning gore in the chats and saying it’s fine to be 100% okay with gore (which isn’t true, it’s fine to have a fascination with gore but to be 100% okay with it or even obsess over it is not okay).

(screenshots of the conversations can be found here & here.)

we recognize that a few of these conversations are obviously jokes/banter between the three, but it is still wildly inappropriate to publicly talk like this where minors can see. you have an nsfw chat, at least use it properly. (important to note: in raquel’s server, the nsfw & real life gore channels were opened to the public for awhile, accessible to anyone at any age, before there was a complaint to make them hidden with a role. even with a role implemented, the guro channel is still visible to those who have the ‘baby’ role [and as guro is, the content is very sexual].)

TW: NECROPHILIA IN THE SERVER

second thing that is worthy of being addressed is how (mainly) dasch and maid fetishize irl gore, dead bodies, and crime scene photos. as stated prior, we’ve censored out the images that were posted, but if you would prefer to see uncensored versions of the images (if you somehow don’t believe what is being censored), you’re welcomed to come off anon and ask for the uncensored versions (so long as you are 18+). like the rest of the screenshots, they can be found in a separate link here.

TW: CONTENTS OF THEIR BLOGS & SOCIAL MEDIA

third thing that is noteworthy of the people mentioned are the things they post publicly to their blogs. on raquel’s blogs, she has warnings in her pinned posts.

the warnings on her blog, while one being genuine and the other uncaring, do in fact warn users that content on her blogs are nsfw and explicitly state what she posts. however, this doesn’t mean she is exempt from criticism of what she posts. anytime raquel is called out for posting something questionable, she simply blames it all on “terfs”, that she’s allowed to post the things she posts because she is also a minor, or that you’re in the wrong for insinuating that a csa victim would even have lolicon art. raquel is not free from criticism from this, as she has posted art with actual children in it. the people behind this post mean no disrespect to raquel and the things she has been through and we respect that entirely. that being said, this does not mean you are free from criticism of the things you post willingly to your blogs. especially when some of the things you’ve posted in the past include children. when asked why she doesn’t credit artists on her guro blog, this is what she responded with:

someone in her notes also pointed this out, but to our knowledge she never acknowledged what they replied to the post with (censored out as they are not relevant to the post).

regardless if you credit the artist or not, people can reverse image search to find the creator themselves. it’s also worth mentioning that you are blatantly admitting to posting from a pedophilic artist. you are still supporting this pedophile’s art by doing so. you are admitting the guro content you post is from pedophilic sources, and regardless if you source them or not, you are inherently posting pedophilic content.

we’ve provided examples of posts on her main blog here, and examples of posts on her sideblog here. major tw (for lolicon art & underaged characters), although we’ve censored the images, the content is still pretty intense.

the next person we would like to shed light to and the things they post are maid. since the post started, maid has terminated her account. however some screenshot examples (with links) still exist, so those are what we will be using to explain the sorts of things she posts/has posted.

before we go on, we would like to make it clear that we have no definitive proof that maid is a pedophile, but the content she is into is very questionable due to the nature of what they are. a few of things that she is into can be considered lolibait, which includes a lot of underaged girls.

examples of the media (click the links for examples of her posting about it):

ichigo mashimaro (strawberry marshmallow): an anime/manga about 10-12 year old girls, that while not problematic itself, the creator of the anime makes lolicon-esque content of the girls (outside of the anime/manga). the media is also heavily known for being liked by lolicons.

ro-kyu-bu!: an anime surrounding a basketball team comprised of mostly young girls, the content of the anime itself is rather deplorable as it sexualizes the young girls very frequently (which is basically the only plot it has). very much known for being lolibait and liked by lolicons.

on her main blog, she had reblogged this post:

(post contains two young teenagers from yuru yuri.)

just on the surface, this image isn’t necessarily sexual and we do not claim that maid reblogged this with sexual intentions, however with her consumption of media known for lolibait, it makes it questionable.

she also has a body pillow of satou matsuzaka, a 15 year old girl from the anime “my happy sugar life”. we wont be getting into the content of the anime here, but it should be odd enough that this 20 year old woman has a pillow of a 15 year old girl.

the last thing we’d like to address with maid is the posts on her instagram (can be found here. major tw for guro & emetophilia [all of which is censored]). a main point here that we haven’t brought up is that she blatantly fetishizes asian women and often posts about them. you can go here to look at a few of the things she’s posted and the fetish nature of the content she puts out there involving them.

CONCLUSION

the point of this post was to highlight a few users in the animecore community who are clearly unable to host servers or interact around minors properly. we still do not condone the harassment of these users, and we would highly recommend to simply block them in response to this post rather than seek them out and harass them. there’s no point in doing so, however we realize we cannot stop every single person who reads this post from doing something. all we can do is state that we are against doing so and have no want or need to engage with that sort of behavior.

to the users this post highlighted, if you’ve read everything through, good on you. instead of taking this as a call out post for drama (which genuinely was not the intent of this post), maybe the few of you can recognize the faults you have here and work on them and change for the better. this isn’t some post made because those behind it had personal beef or something with the users it mentions. this post was made because some of you cannot behave and act appropriately when interacting with minors and the general public. clearly not, as a server was allowed to exist with tons of minors alongside fucking weirdos. maybe give a shit about the minors you allow to interact with you. thanks

#animecore #webcore #weimu #flonnezillas #stupidneet #the core tags are to spread the warning post considering these users are within these communities

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bangchanswolfpelt · 3 years ago

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Aight I'm a good 6 years older then Yeonjun, and I don't stan any 4th gen groups, but fucking Yeonjun and Taehyun dragged me kicking and screaming into TXT when they passed their cutie concept phase and I can't get out. I couldn't find anything for Taehyun on your blog, maybe I didn't know what to search for, but how do you see him? Soft dom, hard dom? Switch? Sub? He gives me a really, really interesting vibe. Very intense, as if he's not afraid of anything when it comes down to it and would try anything, but also reserved?

ahahahaha, i feel you—i'm right around your same age i think and i was lured in by Soobin being an adorable Jin stan, only to find out that once i was in the door, Yeonjun was waiting there to ambush me with his face and his voice and his stupid sweats that say "run up" right on his dick. 💀

you were probably searching just fine, it's just that there was nothing to find! this blog's only a month old and most of the asks i've been getting are about Soobin. so nearly all of what i've been writing is about. Soobin… 😂 (this is NOT me telling anybody to stop btw, i love it, i just also think it's deeply hilarious when the point of this blog was to stop yelling at my roommate about petplay and just write about getting railed by Bang Chan in a fursuit😂😂😂) re: searching my blog, tho, the most consistent set of tags i have is [group name/abbreviation][emoji]; for txt it's txt👾. if you're in the browser, you can find them all to the right of the page under 'Trending Tags'; i also have a link in my pinned navi post, but i'll add them all as actual tags to that post too, just so they're easier to get to.

i wasn't actually planning on writing for Tae or Hyuka, even though they've hit age of majority they're still very much cutie babies to me. (watching Hyuka in Lovesong felt too much like watching a babby cousin try to relive my high school days on tiktok 🥺) i DO know that the latest teasers have been fucking people up, tho, so like. check back in a bit and i might be singing a different song. 👀 (also if anyone wants to send anything my way that might make me change my mind... 👀👀👀)

looking at your question from my currently extremely clinical, well-hydrated perspective, tho—

i think you actually have a really good read on Taehyun! especially in regards to him being kind of reserved—when it comes to romantic/sexual relationships, he’d be very cautious with his feelings up until a certain point, but if you DO manage to get that far with him, then it’s all or nothing—like, following you out of the shire all the way to mt. doom kinda all or nothing. 🥺 and he's definitely the type to only get into d/s stuff with someone he really trusts (honestly, i don't think he'd even get too far along with vanilla physical intimacy without that level of trust, unless something had him really caught up in the moment). once you’re that person, though, buckle the fuck up cause you weren’t wrong about intensity. 😅

he'd take any kind of power play really seriously, even if you’re not interested in doing anything hardcore at first. he does a lot of research and wants to have serious, sit-down talks about what you both want and need, even if he has a hard time looking you in the eye for the first few conversations. it’s actually probably very sweet, because he tries really hard to make sure that you’re comfortable, even as you can see he’s clearly struggling.

Taehyun definitely starts things out sitting across from you at a table because that’s how Serious Grown-Up Converations happen, right? reach over and hold his hand, or better yet, make him move over to the couch with you to cuddle. he’s the type to get into his own head about this kind of thing, i think, so a reminder from you that this is something you’re both in together will go a long way towards him chilling the fuck out. especially if you’re older/more experienced than him—he won’t admit it, but he’s probably looking to the way you behave for cues and feeling like he’s got to try and keep up with you.

i think his personality would have him be slightly more inclined to dom, but inexperience might make subbing a little easier on him to start with; a lot of it would also depend on his partner. so basically, he’s switchy but distinctly dom-leaning. either way, he’ll want to go hard—while for some of the boys, i feel like d/s dynamics with them are more of a natural extension of your regular relationship dynamics, Taehyun would want them to be something distinctly different from your day-to-day. this isn’t a boy who goes halfway with things; whether he’s domming or subbing, he wants it to be exciting and intense and boundary-pushing. by the time the night is over, aftercare will involve putting one of you back together again.

once he’s confident he knows what he’s doing and (most importantly) knows how to read you, he’d honestly be a dream of a dom. he’s observant and careful, learns all your little nonverbal tells, so he knows what you’re feeling maybe even before you do, and uses that to play you like an instrument.

he’d be a really great partner for experimenting with, too, i think. unless it’s something that really squicks him out, Taehyun’s willing to try pretty much anything you’re interest in at least once. going to him with new ideas might be a little intimidating, because he’s more serious and measured, and not the type to immediately jump onboard enthusiastically like some people would *cough*Yeonjun*cough*, but he’ll always hear you out and never judge or shame you for what you want. even if it’s something he’s not that into at first, he’ll read up on it and look up videos; he’s the type of person whose response to “weird” kinks isn’t ‘what the fuck?’, but ‘what’s the appeal there?’, so he ends up rationalizing himself into a lot of new kinks, including most (if not all) of yours.

the only thing i would worry about is honestly him not letting you know where his limits are—he feels like the kind of person who would have trouble safewording when you hit a point that's uncomfortable for him in a scene, just because it's not something he brought up while you were establishing boundaries and rules. he’s the type to be very concerned about safewords and hard limits and aftercare for you, but forget that those things apply to him as well. if the way you two play gets really intense, you’re probably going to hit a point where you need to talk to him about being upfront and honest about what he needs.

tagging: @jensdior

#taehyun smut #?#txt smut #not sure this actually belongs in the smut tags #but it's literally over seven hundred words about d/s dynamics so 🥴#forreals tho let me know i'm not used to trying to be courteous in the tags #mail corner 📬#txt👾

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the-midnight-feline · 4 years ago

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¤¸¸.•´¯`•¸¸.•..>> So this piece is actually part of the Piliin mo ang Pilipinas Collab event hosted by @lumpiang-toge, you guys should seriously check this out since the works posted there are such good reads ❤️️<<..•.¸¸•´¯`•.¸¸¤

this is the first time i've joined a collab, (ngl i thought i was waaay in over my head lol) i'd like to thank a friend of mine, Dylan, (won't tag his blog just cause, loves you for reading it !) thanks so much for the encouraging words ❤️ and of course Mama Rae (@hq-girl-next-door) for the advice on the banner**❤️

**For the banner I did, I took the image from pinterest, if you guys know who the artist is, please let me know so I could properly give credit to them :)

Tags/TW: Mutual pinning-ish, friends to lovers, fluff to angst, Cheating, swearing (I think theres one or two in there)

(A/N: Please don't get too confused /-\, the italic parts is you recollecting the past, it comes and goes (。♡‿♡。))

WC: 3.8k ;-; didn't know it get that long

Pairings: Tendou Satori x fem!Reader

Summary: It all started with a simple crush, you wouldn't have guessed that it'll be more than that, It was a dream come true to loved and be loved by the person you loved, but not all dreams end good, some end as a nightmare.

“You like the Guess Monster, like THE Guess Monster?!?!” your friends shouted in unison, looking at them frantically as you’re in the gym watching the guys warm up for a practice match and the way they shouted had the sounds of balls hitting the floor just below where your group sat, you willed yourself to look at the who were the people below you guys trying repress the blush you feel creeping on your cheeks, swallowing that lump on your throat as you peaked just a little over the ledge and saw his red hair. Internally cussing out your so-called friends, you tired to act like you calm and collected as he was looking up at the bleachers, maybe trying to guess which one in your group, who was also looking over at whoever heard them, liked him, shaking his head, chuckling toward Ushijima and Semi who was already making their way to the court to get this warm up started.

A single tear began rolling down your cheek as you remembered how it all began, your friends’ sudden outburst in the gym gave you the opportunity to talk to the guy you’ve been crushing on when you first saw him in the opening ceremony just something about him drew you to him and you were adamant on getting to, at the least, know him. Sitting on the floor of your shared bedroom, opening the memory box you and your husband made a few months after you started dating.

Semi knew your friend, he actually liked her and from that outburst of theirs at the gym, he 89immediately thought of a way to hit two birds with one stone. “hey, y/f/n, I heard you guys at the bleachers, sooo” scratching he neck out of shyness “which of your friends like our Tendou? Maybe we could setup a date or something?" He really liked your friend and would honestly do anything to get her on a date, she pointed to you, the quiet in of the group, usually the source of rationality and guidance, the one that acts like the mediator of the group. You really always kept to yourself, didn’t really want to attract attention towards yourself. Semi was skeptical at first, you the quiet, shy girl of the class liked that loud ass friend of his? Maybe y/f/n was pulling his leg, she can’t be serious.

A bitter laugh escapes your lips as the memory of your first date comes crashing on you as see the pressed flower from the little hole in the wall café near the school, Semi was the one that found that café and planned every detail of the date.

As you and your friend were walking towards the café Semi told her about, you were itching to just keep hitting your friends back “why the hell did you fucking agree to this?!!” you hissed at your friend, you were practically shooting daggers at her for saying yes on your behalf and you didn’t even know what she agreed to but she told you to get dolled up, silly you, thinking that it’ll be just a girls day out, but peering over her shoulder as your guys walk out of the dorm, you see her texting Semi, thinking maybe it was him asking for notes since they were in the same class. She led you to this small café and you guys sat at a corner booth, making you sit inside by the wall, you really thought nothing of it, until you saw that distinctive red hair bounding towards your booth. Your palms got a tad sweaty, nerves getting the best of you, a million thoughts racing in your mind that you didn’t notice that the Tendou Satori was there taking the seat opposite of you in the booth, the ever infectious smile directed towards you and you alone. Seeing as you and Satori were basically having a silent conversation with just your smiles, Semi and your friend made a discreet exit and left you two be. Little did you know, he often saw you around, he knows you like shounen jump as much as he does since he sees you go to the store he usually goes to, he knows what snacks you liked since he usually goes out at the middle of the night to get some snacks of his own at the convenience store around the corner. He sees you in the library with your nose buried in some book when he follows Semi there just to annoy him. Tendou didn’t tell anybody about the girl he liked from afar, he knew he’d scare you off, no one wanted to date a Monster, or that’s what he thought.

Looking back, that impromptu date was what started the relationship with Satori, a soft sob escapes your lips as tears gently fall on the first picture you have together, he suddenly rang you up and asked you to go to the mall with him. In the picture, he had his arm wrapped around your shoulder while you were hugging his waist tightly, seemingly scared that being with him was a dream you don’t want to wake up from.

Getting out of the shower, you hear your phone ring from under your pillow, confused as to who might that be since it was an unknown number calling you, curious you answered it. “hey y/n! I know it’s kinda out of the blue but, you wanna go to the mall with me?” shock was evident in your body, it was Tendou! Your thoughts was scrambling, you know you didn’t get a chance to give him your number before you guys parted ways on your first meeting since Coach Washijo made Ushijima contact both guys for a weekend practice. You knew the coach was a hot head and would make anymore run 50 laps if they were late and that was a few weeks ago, a worried Tendou called out to you again “uh…y/n? If you have other plans I totally under-“ blinking back to the present “I’d love to go! Lemme get ready and I’ll meet you down” you cut him off midsentence hearing a small chuckle at the other line “don’t make me wait too long ok?” he said in a teasing tone which made you giggle on the line “yes, yes Satori, I’ll hang up so I could get ready ok? See you!” it took every ounce of self-control to not shriek the whole conversation, once he hung up you were practically jumping on your bed out of pure joy, but then you remembered that he’ll be waiting, you quickly snapped out of it and looked through your dresser for a decent outfit for going out with Tendou, you quickly settled with a simple get up of a long sleeved shirt and pants with some sneakers on, you excitedly exited your room, to meet up with Tendou, hoping you haven’t made him wait too long, turning the last corner you see him outside your dorm, almost wearing the same thing as you, even the color of your shoes match, biting your lip to stop a stupid smile from taking over you walk up behind him, gently poking his side, his sudden jump made you giggle as he took in all of you, a smile makes its way on his lips and eyes as he himself lets out a chuckle. “y/n? Are you copying me?” shaking your head, letting a small laugh out “Satori, please you’re the one copying me here” he just shook his out of amusement when he saw the glint of teasing in your eyes before he offended his arm to you like a gentleman would, the small action made you faint blush.

You two spent the day just walking around the mall, just browsing from store to store, having just a blast at all the random comments he makes, the last stop you guys make was the arcade, you guys played all sorts of games, air hockey, tried your luck at a pachinko machine and Tendou even tried the basketball game, which he surprisingly good at that he won a lot of tickets getting you a small rubiks cube, but near the back of the arcade something caught your eye, a purikura, Tendou saw where your eyes went and with a small smile he took your hand and walked towards the machine, and ushered you in the booth, he felt at comfortable around you, he would’ve never guessed that you were a crack head like, random outbursts of ideas and thoughts spouted from you made him laugh as you spent time together. He quickly wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you close to him, a flash went off, that was the first shot, with the blush creeping on your cheeks you hid your face under your hair and hugged him another flash went off, that was the second shot, he tipped you head up, making you look at him, his infectious smile directed at you as another flash went off, and the last shot was of him kissing your forehead. You were left speechless after that whole scenario, seemingly in a dazed as he guided you out and grab the prints of the photos. That’s how you guys ended the date, he held your hand in his all the way back to the dorms, placing a chaste kiss on your cheek as you parted ways.

Rummaging further through the memory box, you see all the mementos you both kept from your dates, a few fallen leaves, a couple of pretty rocks, stickers, napkins, flowers, pictures, the cork from the bottle of champagne you drank at your wedding. More tears fell from your eyes as you dug through all the stuff in the box, who knew you both collected a lot of things in just a couple of years. What made you sob so hard was the acceptance letters you both got when you were selected as the few students for the incoming year.

A few months before graduation, you both got accepted into a culinary school in Tokyo, you were ecstatic as this means you and Tendou could get a place together since your parents already gave you two a small amount to get a place near the school so you two could still practice and create new dishes together, it was really no surprise to your friends or the whole volleyball team that you two would get into culinary school, you’ve always had a thing for cooking, you’d often come their practices with some bento boxes for all of the guys so they don’t have to go out and spend for food, on the weekends, the kitchen was his domain he’d let you watch him bake and oftentimes let you help him out. It’s often that the whole group get together during the weekends, you cooking for them while Tendou makes that dessert. For some reason, they got jealous of how your relationship started, it was as if all the pieces just fell into place at the right time, you two together just seemed right like you two were always suppose to be with each other. There’s always been a carefree air around him, it calmed you down so much that it helped you be more open or that’s how you saw it. You were the opposite of him always worrying, always, over thinking, being overly critical of your actions and how you overwhelmed with everything so you turned to anything that’ll help you divert your mind but once he was in your life it just got easier. He voice would immediately calm the voices spewing negative thoughts I had your head.

Looking around your room, you see pictures of you together, your graduation picture, the picture of you guys on the front of the school, the picture of your guys graduating culinary school, a photo of you two at the restaurant where you two both apprenticed and next to that was the candid shot of his proposal there, a mix of joy and hurt shoot through you as you the memory come rushing back to you.

The way he sheepishly confessed that he asked the manager if he could do his proposal there and invite your family and friends for that surprise. “Hey y/n, come with me, a customer just complained about the sauce you made being too salty, I’m not taking blame for that!” an angry chef came shouting at you, shocked and anxiousness dunning through you, you timidly follow behind him, thinking how you could screw up a simple sauce like that, your thoughts were everywhere, but once you stepped outside the kitchen you noted that the dining area was dimmer then usual, but maybe that’s because you’re used to the bright lights of the kitchen, you hear a soft melody playing, it’s one of your favourite songs ‘I Choose' you’ve always related that song to your relationship. On the far wall you see photos of you together, looking around you see familiar faces, his and your parents, your friends, the Shiratorizawa boys were there even the coach came!

The euphoria you felt from having everyone who had been part of your relationship through the ups and downs just had you in tears, your head was fuzzy with the mix of a dozen emotions swirling in you, through a blur of tears you see him kneeling in front of you, he let out a huff of breath to calm his nerves before asking you the question “y/n, my love, my baby, my better half, my paradise. You’ve stuck by my side through my highs and lows, loved me unconditionally, took care of me whenever I got sick, urged me to follow my dreams, guided me into being a better guy, especially with my chocolate making you supported my dreams like no other can, you, you made my world complete, you made me feel things I haven’t felt in a long time, you gave me your heart to cherish and protect. You made my life whole” the words flowed out of his mouth so freely, every word making more tears come out of you, every word so heartfelt, with shakey hands we presented you a pear cut yellow emerald ring “My Paradise, would you do me the honor of being my paradise for eternity?” no words could express how happy you were nodding your head, trying to stop happy tears from falling a hushed ‘yes’ slips past you lips as he stands to slip the ring on your left hand, pulling you in for a tight hug, whispering endless I love you’s and thank you in your ears as the people around you cheered for the newly engaged couple.

Biting back another sob, you feel fresh tears streaming down your cheeks as your eyes land on your wedding photo above the bed, he loved you enough to marry you, he was yours and you were his, you can’t help but stare at the framed photo, he had that infectious smile of his that made you fall from him the day you saw him. He has you up in his arms as your arms were wrapped around his neck, pecking a sweet kiss on his cheek. You asked him many times if he’d like to blowup another photo from your wedding, he simply shook his head and wrapped you up in his arms “you’re perfect in any picture of us, but in that one you look like the most perfect human being in existence and I’m just lucky to have you in my life” you basked in his love and affection on those simple words pulling him closer and burying you face on his chest, inhaling his sweet scent “I’m lucky to have you Tori, lucky to be called your wife” placing a chaste kiss on his chest as you look up to him with love-struck eyes. This was it you guys moved countries after your wedding to France since Tendou was offered a job at a famous pâtisserie there, all you wanted was your husband happy, wherever you guys may be.

You never really cared where you two were, as long as you were together, you could get lessons on the French cuisine as Tendou works, that was the plan before you guys flew out. You worked hard to learn the basics, you’d often have Tendou taste test all your creations and you’ll you the same for him since he likes to experiment with different flavor combinations, things were great the first few months of moving cross countries, you enrolled in a cooking classes there to build up your repertoire and after a few weeks of learning a few new techniques you've decided to look around for places you could work at just to keep your body busy again. You've decorated the apartment the way you liked it and how you think Tendou would like it, just adding different odds and ends giving it a familiar vibe. This place was your starting ground.

When you got a job at the nearby bistro, Tendou didn’t really mind it, since he’d often come home a bit later then usual saying something along the lines of making things in the experiment lab with the other chocolatiers at the shop to have something new for the upcoming season, in turn you thought nothing of it since you do work nights after getting a gig in a restaurant in town as well, it also means you could still have time to make his dinner and keep it warm for when he gets home. You two actually got into an argument when you got that gig since Tendou was adamant about keeping you in the apartment after the morning shift at the bistro so you don’t work yourself too hard, he wanted to start thinking about getting a kitten to keep you company when he’s out working but you argued back that you didn’t wanna feel like mooching off of him even though he said it was fine, he loved coming home to a warm meal that you made with love and gets more time to spend with you, but he did cave in after a few bats of your eyelashes.

It was perfect, you both were doing what you were passionate about, you two scheduled your offs near each other’s so one could take care of each other after a long day. But there was this weird feeling creeping in you but you simply don’t know why it was there, you and Tendou always kept communication open since you two do work different shifts and that itself puts a strain in the relationship but you two made it work. You loved him. So you would really sacrifice anything for him, he had have a rough childhood, he was bullied cause he looked different, acted different, but he wasn’t like that for you, he never was, even though he had a wicked sense for things which really surprised you, you can’t even hide a gift from him cause he knew what you’d get him or more likely sense what you’ll give him.

You don’t tell him that you swapped shifts with someone so you technically have a day off so you decided to drop by the pâtisserie where Tendou worked with some home made Pan Bagnat since it was nearing lunch, as you were close to the shop you saw his figure near the window placing new confections on display, but something made you stop, another person, a female chocolatier, was hugging him from behind and not in a friendly way, there was familiarity to it, it looked as if she’s been hugging him for so long, like she’s always hugged him, you didn’t notice that you’ve dropped the basket you were holding on the sidewalk, the glass bottle shattering on impact, the sangria spilling on the pavement, the sandwich you made, making a mess, the fruits you packed rolling in every direction. People around gasped at the scene, some tried to help in picking up the fruits that escaped, your mind in thought again, maybe you just interpreted it wrongly they’re just so so close, like a brother and sister kinda way, since they both work in the shop, you simply jumped to conclusions too fast, those thought completely vanished as the next sight you saw.

She kissed him. SHE KISSED HIM!! Your mind played that in your head like it was a song played on a loop. That was what made your heart break, that was the tipping point, he didn’t push her away, it was the opposite, he pulled her closer, the way he held her mirrored how he would hold you when he came home from work, people around you were asking you things trying to snap you out of your trance but you paid no mind to them, your legs moving on their own.

It was as if you were on autopilot, you got home, your mind racing with so many thoughts, how long had that been going on? Is she why he’d come home later than usual, is she the reason he had woken up earlier to get to work everyday? Did he spend his days off with her when you suddenly get shifts? Walking into your apartment, you didn’t know what to think, how to feel, how to make sense of things more questions come into your mind. Does he bring her here? Did they do anything sexual in the place you called home? What places were safe? Did she please him better than I did? You walked into your bedroom where the memory box laid in the middle of bed. It was your first wedding anniversary, did he really forget? Your anniversary was engraved on your wedding rings with your initials on it.

A scream of agony escaped your lips as everywhere you looked at it was all you and him the very place you thought was the safest of all was not. It's tainted with infidelity, your heart broke even more as you took the box from the bed with shaking hands contemplating on whether to open the box or not, he loved you with every part of him didn’t he? You were enough weren’t you? You made sure he was satisfied right? You gave him all the love you could and even more right? Didn’t he promise you that he’d protect your heart? You're still his paradise right? He loves you right?

Maybe opening the box, and finding something that you both placed in there would make him rethink his choices right? With broken sobs and uneven breathing, your fingers shaking as you pulled the pretty red ribbon that held the lid shut, looking at all the things that you both collected that reminded you both that you loved each other you broke even more. Every one of them held the promise of love, of fidelity, of trust. But now, a part of you is doubting every word that passed his lips, every kiss that landed on your skin made you feel dirty, every I love you's he uttered seems like a lie. You didn’t want to feel that way, you love him with every part of your being, you’re THE Mrs. Satori Tendou, no one else but you had that title, just you, it was only you right? You were his paradise for eternity right? Right?

★──────────★───────────────★─────────★

I hope you guys liked this, I actually really liked working on this one(played my brokenhearts plays it nonstop for it) , but I do have another one coming so...yeah!

Song inspiration :Anong Nangyari Sa Ating Dalawa by Aiza Seguerra

Song used in the proposal I Choose by Alessia Cara

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wonderful-wells-writing · 3 years ago

Text

Chemical; Harry Wells x OC Fic; Chapter 2

The first chapter posted on the new blog of course goes to my main girl Stacy

You can find the Prologue and first chapter on my master list which is pinned on this blog.

A lot of this chapter is scientific jumbo that explains the basis of Stacy's powers, I tried to make it as readable as possible. I felt it was important to show Stacy and Harry discussing science to see them bonding over something

Also heads up for mild smutty content,. there are like 2 paragraphs towards the end that have some female masturbation.

And as always all sorts of love to @elfwoodfae @wintersire and @steamjunk90 who are just a handful of the super awesome people who encourage me to write and make me feel proud of this character.

“So now that we have Dr. Light,” Stacy leans back in her chair, rubbing her eyes, “we just have to finish the dampening serum, perfect the injection method, convince Light to help lure Zoom, and then…” she chuckles, “pray, right?”

Harry is peering into the microscope next to her, “Prayer is a waste of time; the science is solid. We’ll get this done.”

“You say that, but we can’t actually test the serum before we use it, do we?” The young woman reaches for a blood draw kit, “and no science is solid without testing.”

“She makes a good point,” Cisco is spinning on his stool, unsure what to do as it’s Stacy’s lab, and he knows the consequences of messing anything up within its walls.

“Ramone, don’t you have your own work to be doing?” Harry sighs, adding a drop of fluid to the slid he’s looking at under the microscope. He murmurs under his breath, “incredible,” as he watches the cells he’s observing react.

“Actually, I’ve already finished the prototype injector,” Cisco stops spinning to talk to Harry, “I’m just waiting on you to come to look it over.”

“Stacy, have you checked your micloxin and glucose levels lately?” Caitlin is scrolling through data on her tablet, “Because that last test we did shows your powers operating at10 percent efficiency.”

“I mean, I’ve been running at like 30 percent for a month now, so that’s not really as big of a surprise as you think,” Stacy is in the process of torniqueteing her left arm as she says this, “but yeah I’m about to check now.”

“30 percent!” Caitlin’s eyes widen, “why didn’t you say anything? We could have helped you figure out what’s going wrong.”

“The things you can do, Langdon,” Harry turns to look at her, “and it’s less than 30 percent of your power?”

“No, that’s my efficiency,” Stacy corrects him before hissing as she sticks a needle in her vein, “you’ve only seen a fraction of a percent of what I can theoretically do.” She watches the crimson fill the vial, momentarily mesmerized by the color. “But if my micloxin levels are low, then how much I can do before it’s a strain, and how quickly, gets severely reduced.”

Wells ponders for a moment before asking, “What is micloxin? That’s not something I’ve heard of.”

Dr. Langdon grins, tossing the vial of blood to Caitlin before turning to face the man. “Micloxin was one of the compounds I developed as a STAR Labs researcher before the Particle Accelerator Explosion, my thesis on the science behind it is actually want got me hired here. Our Wells… Thawne was always impressed by theoretical sciences as long as the mind behind it could write a convincing argument that it was feasible.” She briefly remembers the letter she received offering a position at the lab but pushes it all to the back of her mind.

“You know, if Thawne was from the future,” Cisco points out, “maybe he was hiring people like you because he knew it was going to work out. Maybe in the future, they use micloxin for all sorts of shit.”

Stacy nods, “It’s possible, and truthfully I want to hope that’s the case.” She rubs her arm where she had stuck the needle, there is a small streak of blood, but she’s already completely healed the puncture. “I mean, my goal was for my research to help people.” She sighs, pushing the thought away into the same corner as the memories, before using one hand to type something on her keyboard, then turning the monitor to show Dr. Wells a set of molecular compounds and formulas. “Anyways, micloxin is now one of the three abnormalities my body produces as part of the changes I underwent when exposed to the dark matter. So I utilize those abnormalities as part of my powers.”

Harry leans in to read the computer screen, eyes quickly scanning the diagrams, and uses the mouse to flip through the pages. “So, this was your work here at the lab?”

“Part of it,” she drums her hands on the desk, “My thesis was focused on STEM cells and ways to advance the field, micloxin was a theoretical alternative I proposed as a part of the paper. I was placed on a team focused on STEM cell advanced usage and production methods when I started here. Still, I was given resources to look into my theories in my spare time.” her eyes follow Caitlin around the room as the doctor places the blood sample in an analyzer. “I was given my own team when I developed micloxin. I still helped the original team; I was even able to use my micloxin to develop a serum that turned healthy white blood cells into STEM cells.”

This piques Harry’s interest further, “You found a way to produce STEM cells? It took a dozen scientists and doctors on my planet to develop a method to force them to grow in their lab.”

Stacy tucks a stray hair behind her ear, “From there, my team and I started using micloxin to develop other formulas that could be used in the medical field. For example, we had just developed a programmable serum that could be used in a variety of ways to manipulate cells.”

Dr. Wells folds his arms and gives the woman a rather impressed look. “That is quite a resume of scientific achievements for somebody as young as you. I’d love to hear more about the science behind your work if you don’t mind.”

Cisco snorts in the background at the comment about Stacy’s youth. To which she turns and gives him a look that indicates he should hush before returning her attention to Dr. Wells and picking something to continue to explain to him.

Caitlin crosses the room to stand next to Cisco and discreetly shows him the test results on her tablet.

“I may not fully get the bio-mumbo jumbo,” Cisco starts with a whisper.

“Biochemistry,” Caitlin corrects.

“Right, that’s what I said,” Cisco takes the tablet and reads the numbers carefully, “But even I can tell that that’s bad.”

“IF we don’t figure out how to control her micloxin levels,” Caitlin looks worriedly at Stacy, who is explaining to a fascinated Harry how her body now produces STEM cells rather than white blood cells “she could lose her powers.”

“Well,” Cisco glances up at Caitlin, “Would that really be the worst thing? If she loses her powers, she doesn’t have to deal with the side effects, right?”

“That’s the thing,” she presses a link on the tablet screen that takes them to a different set of data, “she would still have to deal with them> Stacy would pretty much be stuck in a perpetual low charge mode. She’d be constantly experiencing the symptoms, and her recharge would do nothing to abate it.”

“That would,” Cisco takes a moment to process that, “Oh, that would really really suck for her.” But then, he looks over the data projections, “I don’t understand how she’s not symptomatic right now with what her levels are at.”

Both of them look to the two scientists, who are utterly engrossed in their conversation. But Stacy’s body language displays that she has more on her mind than just chemicals. When she listens to Harry speak, she starts to chew on her lower lip. Her cheeks are slightly flushed, and her breathing is heavier. To top it off, she can’t seem to get her legs to stay still; she keeps having to stop herself from rubbing her thighs together.

“She’s definitely in low charge,” Caitlin murmurs, “Look at her; she’s trying to ignore it, but….”

“She can’t seriously be thinking about,” Cisco shudders, “with him? Really?”

“Don’t blame her; she can’t control….”

“Is everything alright over there?” Harry interrupts their quiet exchange, having become aware that they were staring rather intensely at him and Stacy.

Caitlin clears her throat and stands up a little straighter, “Dr. Langdon, your sertolix and glucose ratio is out of its normal range; I think You’re due for a recharge session and maybe some dinner afterward.”

“But I just recharged last night… and this morning….” Stacy complains, but she knows it’s true. She can feel its effects, has been all day. “And Harry and I are having such a pleasant conversation; I don’t want to stop for a charge.”

Harry can’t stop the slight smile that creeps up on him. It’s not often that people refer to interacting with him as ‘pleasant.’ And this was perhaps the most relaxed he’s felt in the days since Zoom… right, Zoom. Unfortunately, the smile drops off his face as the stakes drop onto his shoulders again like a load of bricks.

“I’m sorry, but until we can figure out how to stabilize your micloxin levels, you’re going to have to charge up more frequently,” Cailin glances at the test tubes full of sample serums on her desk. “Especially if you’ll be spending all day testing your powers, even in a minor capacity. So you’ll have to recharge your sertolix levels if you want to be effective today.”

“Sertolix?” Harry glances at Stacy; she hadn’t gotten to that point in her explanation yet.

But Stacy can’t look him in the eye anymore. Now that Caitlin had brought it up, it was getting harder to ignore the side effects of her low-charge state. “It’s what we call the hormone my body produces and uses to control the cellular manipulation process. So I have to do a thing we call recharging to get my body to produce it in order to continue using my powers.”

“I thought micloxin was the chemical your body used,” Harry questions.

“It’s sort of a combo job,” Stacy stands, her fingers playing with the hem of her shirt. “My micloxin levels determine how quickly I burn Sertolix when I use my powers and how much I gain when I recharge.” She steps around him to go towards the door, “Anyways, Dr. Snow is right, I do need to... Go do that. We’ll get a lot more work done once I have more of it in my system. I should only be like 45 minutes, maybe an hour.”

“You should probably take 2, Dr. Langdon,” Caitlin points out, “Your levels are practically non-existent.”

“2 hours?!” Stacy stops and turns to face her, looking exasperated, “ I can’t ‘recharge’ for 2 straight hours.”

“I mean you can,” Cisco shrugs, “that’s like, your whole -ow!” He flinches as Caitlin kicks his ankle.

Harry stands, offering this in response, “Perhaps you could show me this recharging process, and I can help you determine if there’s a more efficient….”

“No!!” Stacy half shouts, barely managing to choke the words out before her body freezes in a conflict between ‘stay composed’ and ‘freak out.’

Cisco tries, and fails, to suppress a laugh, nearly falling off his stool in the process, “no, ha-no, that would be a great-ha- idea!”

Caitlin attempts to swoop in for a rescue, “Dr. Wells, since you have the time now, you should check out Cisco’s prototype, give it the all-clear before we use it on Zoom.”

Harry looks over to those two, mouth half-open to ask a question, but is not quite sure how to phrase his confusion. Before he can find his words, he catches Caitlin motioning to Stacy and turns back in time to see her using the distraction as a chance to flee.

“Okay, what is going on here?” Harry throws his hands up in the air.

“Listen, how about we just say that some things are better left to the imagination and leave it at that,” Caitlin responds.

“I mean, some things are better seen than….” Cisco starts but shuts his mouth at the cold glare from Cait. “Fine, Harry, come on, and I’ll show you what I’ve been working on.”

---

After an eventful day and night of Dr. Light escaping and convincing Linda Park to help, then training her to pretend to be her Earth 2 doppelganger, the team is putting the finishing touches on their plan to take down Zoom. Stacy is back in her recharge room to get a good enough level to add her cells to the serum.

Harry peers through the magnifying glass for the hundredth time, trying to find anything about the device beneath that he could tinker with to keep his hands busy.

“How much longer will she be?” Harry mutters, his question directed at Cisco, who is cleaning up his workstation.

“I dunno,” Cisco is growing somewhat irritated at the alternate Dr. Wells and how he’s scrutinizing his craftsmanship.

“I just need a vial of her blood to finish the serum, then we’ll be all ready,” Harry rubs the back of his neck. He can’t remember the last time he was this tense.

Cisco has a terrible thought that comes with a grin, “I mean, you could pop in there for a blood draw. I’m sure by now she has enough go-go juice that a blood sample can power the serum.”

Harry stands up, “you’re right, won’t take but a moment of her time. Then the serum will be ready by the time she’s out, and we can go get this over with.”

“She’ll be in the room down the hall and to the right from her lab,” Cisco calls out as the man leaves the room, and once he’s out of earshot, he mutters to himself, “God, I wish we at least had cameras in that hall, I’d pay money to see the look on his face when….”

“Where’s Dr. Wells going?” Caitlin asks as she enters the room.

“Oh, just to run some tests,” Cisco lies, moving over to his injector so he can inspect it.

Caitlin can sense that he’s withholding something, “What kind of tests?”

“Just… test... Tests..” He fumbles with the tools at the station, trying to appear busy.

“Tests on?” she pushes harder.

“Tests on… Stacy…” he says quietly, avoiding his friend’s piercing gaze.

“Oh, Stacy…” Caitlin’s eyes go wide, and she moves for the door, “If he goes to her now, He’ll see….”

“Chill out, Cait,” the engineer grabs her arm, “He’s got to find out eventually?”

“Not like this he doesn’t,” Caitlin exclaims, “Why would you send him to her.”

“Honestly, he’s really been pissing me off since he got here,” Cisco says, “I thought sending him to get surprised by that would be good payback.” “And you didn’t stop to think how Stacy would feel about that!” she responds, “You’ve always been the biggest supporter of her boundaries being respected. So why would you send a stranger to go witness her like that?”

Cisco pauses, a realization crossing his face, “I�� I didn’t think about that… I was just thinking about… oh shit.”

“Yeah, now come on, maybe it’s not too late to stop him!”

But Harry has already made it to Stacy’s wing of the building. He swings by her lab for a blood draw kit, then heads down the hall.

The first thing he notices is that the door is thicker than most of the regular ones in the building, but it’s fitted with the same electronic locks that the rest of the building is, the ones that never work. So, he pushes the door open with no resistance.

The room is dimly lit, and as his eyes adjust, his ears pick up on what seems to be a soft moaning and an odd, almost vibrational sound.

“Dr. Langdon?” harry calls out, pushing the door open the rest of the way, allowing light from the hall to spill into the room. His gaze travels along the floor of the small room, finding the purple carpet to be an odd choice before he reaches the feet of a small couch pushed against the back wall. A love seat, actually, it’s the same shade of purple as the carpet, and he sees that Stacy is sprawled across it and… oh… OH!

There’s a beat where Harry’s jaw drops, his eyes widen in shock, and his body freezes as he tries to process what he’s seeing. The woman is laying on the love seat, her head thrown back over the armrest, eyes closed, mouth open, and making little sounds of pleasure between breathy whispers. She has one hand up her shirt, fondling a breast she has pulled free from the restraint of her bra. But on the other hand, now that’s the one getting naughty. Her pants are hung over the back of the seat, and she has some device…

His gaze snaps away from that and ends up locking eyes with Stacy as she looks towards the opening doors. Her pupils dilate in the lights, and it takes her a moment to adjust. When she realizes who’s standing in the doorway, her heart drops into her stomach, and her breath catches. Fear and embarrassment take over her features.

Harry turns and slams the door behind him, his head spinning as he attempts to scrub the image he just saw from his mind. But total recall is a bitch, and he doubts he will ever forget the sight of her… he shakes his head, ‘just don’t think about it, just don’t think….’

Confusion reigns supreme in his head as he tries to process what is happening on the other side of that door. Why is it happening? His heart is racing, and his mind can’t settle on an emotion to feel. He raises a hand to cover his mouth, squeezing his jaw and inhaling sharply through his nose. ‘What the fuck was that?!’

He hears the door open behind him, and his entire body stiffens.

“I’m so so sorry you had to see that,” Stacy says, out of breath and fully clothed, “Dr. Wells, I swear I can explain everything if you just… give me a moment.

‘Dr. Wells…” his mind conjures the scene again against his will. The breathy whispers, he realizes now what she was saying. ‘ Dr. Wells.’ His name, or maybe the name of the man who once carried his face. He doesn’t know which option is better, or worse, or god why is any of this happening.

His brain, genuinely unsure what to do with his emotional state, settles for anger. “What kind of bullshit was that,” he spins around, his face red, perhaps from the rage, but more likely, it started with embarrassment. “I thought you were a serious and mature scientist,” he can not meet her eyes, not while that image plays over and over in his head. “But here you are wasting everybody’s time by going off to… to… to pleasure yourself?!”

Stacy is shaking, sweat dripping down her temple as she tries to find her words, “Please just let me explain….”

“Explain what?!” He has to restrain himself, “that you have so little self-control that while everybody is preparing to face off against Zoom, you have to go treat yourself? Where’s your self...”

“Harry!” A voice shouts from down the hall. “Harry, don’t go in…” They turn to see Cisco jogging up to them, with Caitlin shortly behind. “Shit… we’re too late, aren’t we?”

Stacy feels a wave of cold wash across her as she starts to realize what happened, “Cisco... He was with you… did you let him…”

“Stace, I am so sorry,” Cisco rests his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. “I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted to punish Harry for being a dick, but I... I didn’t think about your privacy.”

“You send him here?” Stacy’s voice shakes. She tries to stammer out something, but she can’t even find words to express herself in this situation.

“Wait.. wait,” Harry scoffs, “You knew what she was doing in there?”

Caitlin steps forward to try and diffuse the situation, “Please, Dr. Wells, just hear us out. Everything will make sense if you just let Stacy explain.”

“I don’t think there’s any explanation that will make this situation….” Harry starts.

“It’s my recharge process!!” Stacy blurts out; her hands are curled so tightly that the nails are digging into the skin of her palm. “It’s what I have to do to get the energy for my powers back.

Harry sputters and looks at her in disbelief. “You can’t be serious.”

“She is,” Cisco confirms, stepping towards Stacy, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “It took some time for us all to get used to, but it’s the only way to get her body to produce sertolix.”

The older man opens his mouth to say something, then shuts it, then opens it again. He keeps trying to start a statement, a question, and finding that he doesn’t have the words for it.

Meanwhile, Stacy’s heart is thundering as the fear of rejection takes hold of her. She has already come to respect this version of Wells and enjoyed conversing with him. But she knew that her condition makes things awkward. She often felt like it made her lesser, that because she constantly struggled with such thoughts and needs, it made her impulsive and immature. The last thing he wanted was for Dr. Wells to think the same of her.

“How?” Harry pinches the bridge of his nose. “How the hell does… does touching yourself recharge your powers?” Caitlin begins to speak up, but he shakes his head. “No, I want to hear it from Dr. Langdon. If she wants so desperately a chance to explain herself, then now is her one chance.”

Stacy takes a deep breath, and her voice trembles as she speaks. “When I experience… sexual-based pleasure, that is when my body releases sertolix, alongside the usual cocktail of endorphins and oxytocin. But, unlike those hormones, sertolix remains in my system until I expend it with my powers.” Again, she takes a deep breath, “As I explained in my lab, the amount I get is determined by my micloxin levels. We have some theories that it’s produced similarly, but we’ve not been able to figure it out.”

Harry steps away, running a hand through his hair. That’s actually a pretty good explanation. It aligns with the science she was explaining earlier and explains why the group acted so dodgy about her recharge process. He sighs, considering for a moment that he might have overreacted.

Well, honestly, it wasn’t that much of an overreaction, he realizes. Anybody would have been shocked to witness something like that unprepared.

“It’s the only way…?” he asks after a minute of thinking, “You’ve actually tried to find other ways, yes?”

Caitlin pipes up to give her friend a break from this intense moment, “Last year we extensively studied sertolix and were unable to determine any way to produce it other than through sexual contact. But, trust us, we all wanted to find a more convenient way to charge her powers.”

Stacy gives a small, half-laugh, “It’s ridiculous, I know, a meta who’s cursed to be stupidly horny all the time, and has to masturbate or have sex to use their powers, sounds like something out of a bad porno.”

Cisco starts to make a joke but thinks better about it and shuts his mouth.

Stacy and Harry’s eyes meet, and he is softened by the sadness in her’s. He realizes that she didn’t choose this, and the implications of such a condition begin to become apparent. The need to recharge her powers in such a way would make it impossible to put her in the field as a hero unless they had a better understanding of the changes her body had undergone to cause this. Such research must be awkward, no matter how close and laid back the team is. Hell, something like this would undoubtedly throw an odd color on any relationship she might try to have.

“I need… time… to process this,” Harry says, stepping away. “And we all have more important things to attend to anyway.”

“Didn’t you need some of Stacy’s blood? To finish the serum?” Cisco asks.

“I can get it later… later..” he starts to walk down the hall, away from all this crazy.

As she watches him walk away, Stacy folds her arms across her stomach, pulling into herself. “Do you think he hates me now?”

“No!” Caitlin tries to be reassuring. “I’m sure he just… he needs to adjust. We all needed to adjust.”

Cisco gives Stacy a pat on the back, “Anyways, who cares what he thinks? He’s a jerk.”

But Stacy cares.

#harrison wells #harry wells fanfiction #harry wells #harrison wells fanfiction #harrison wells earth 2 #harrison wells earth 2 fanfiction

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witch-hazels-musings · 3 years ago

Note

Hi hazel, how are you? <3

frankly I’m a bit embarrassed to be asking this but I don’t know who else I‘d rather ask

I just started a writing blog a couple of weeks ago and while my posts are doing okay I’m not really sure how to go about interacting with readers or other writers; like I don’t really know when I should expect asks to come in or how I could encourage it? I wanted to do an ask game but I don’t know if there’d be a response to it and I don’t really want to ask for it either sorry for rambling so long

Would you mind sharing some of your experience with interactions on here? As you can probably guess I’m not that knowledgable on „tumblr etiquette“ when it comes to interacting with mutuals or anons :(

Also, just so you know, you and your blog make me feel safe enough that I even dare ask such a question, it feels a little bit like asking my big sister for advice <33 thank you

hello hello! - happy to offer whatever advice I can give. Ya know, once I had to ask other blogs very similar questions so it’s totally fine to ask them whenever you need help :)

got a bit long so - under the cut it goes

ASKS -->

my very first ask is a bit challenging to remember, but I believe it was someone giving me warm fuzzies on Lantern Rite or maybe Seeing You Get Hit (my first fics on this blog) - and then came my first request!!

“Waltzing with the Prince” (kaeya x reader)

I was so excited and nervous at the same time and then suddenly more and more people showed up, I got my first anon (saturn) and more came after that.

It takes a bit of time to get peoples attention and just as nervous as you were sending an ask to me, others may be nervous to send an ask to you. I think one of the things I did to make anons more comfortable was thank them a LOT (every time I saw likes on my stuff or reached a new milestone I thanked people, cried a lot lol, and watched how nice everyone was)

ask games can be fun but I’ll tell you I got the most interaction from doing events when I reached my first 1k milestone - something fun and quick to get people to reach out to you! my first events were: Team Headcanons (fun short interactions between peoples teams), Matchmaking (send me info and i’ll pair you to a character) - i did those a few times because they showcased my work but were also fun / funny

then it all just became a steady stream of interaction!!

MUTUALS -->

i just BURST my way into their lives or they did the same for me. I didn’t even know what a mutual was at first but I was like “HEY I LIKE YOU AND YOUR WORK BE FRIENDS WITH ME” and we did that lol

some people like to chat with you a little before asking if to be mutuals with them, that info might be on their pinned post or you can just ask them about it

after that, you just find comfortable ways to interact with them while also respecting how they like to be interacted with. I am a comment lurker - I post comments in the post itself because I like those when I see them so I want to give the same feeling to others!! I know a lot of mutuals who are reblog maniacs (in a good way lol), they will reblog each others little comment posts and have convos that way - others just drop in asks here and there (i like this method too!)

the best way to get a mutual is to just chat with them, it’s like making a friend but a lot easier because it doesn’t have to be in one sitting! you have lots of time and lots of opportunities :)

BLOGS -->

as for other etiquette - you can always check out this post I made - that’ll cover a lot of things i wish I knew at the beginning of this blog (remember, you are in a public space and everything you put out is around a lot of different eyes. Be respectful to others and they will be respectful to you! )

ANDNDNDNANNDNA Happy CREATING!!!!

#hazelmail #this is so long omg i'm sorry #blog tip #blog elixir #hope this helps and isn't just a brain dump on you!!!#wishing you the best #congrats on your blog!#AYAYAYYA!

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self-proclaimed-chaotic-good · 3 years ago

Text

Science & Faith | Carlton Drake x Reader (4/?)

Words: 1860

A/N: I wish I could add links to this post, but I'm afraid of it not showing up in tags like it had done several times before. The masterlist for this story should be pinned on my blog and my full masterlist is in my bio.

Warning: This whole chapter is set in an AU until the end, which leads to the end of The Invisible River Part One.

The Invisible River Part Two

- Alternate Universe One -

At the end of the conference, Tony managed to find Carlton in the lobby. He turned and opened his mouth at the same time as Tony.

“No, you go first,” Tony insisted.

“Have you-”

“No, I go first,” he interrupted, ignoring Carlton’s glare, “Have you noticed that Rolling Pin and Doctopus aren't here?”

Carlton sighed, pushing his frustrations down to address the situation. “Yeah, they seemed to have left half way through the conference.”

“Honestly, why even bother coming if you’re just going to leave anyways? The beginning part is always pointless, who comes just for that?”

“Maybe he had an emergency,” Carlton suggested.

Tony cleared his throat, looking around to see if there were any more people lingering in the lobby before pulling Carlton on the side. He brought up his watch and projected a surveillance camera, showing Spider-man swinging towards a large building.

“Know which building that is?” Tony said, pointing at it, “That’s a laboratory built under Fisk’s name. What do you think Spandex-man is doing there?”

“Why are you coming to me with this? Aren’t you Iron-man?” Carlton asked, already on the move to leave.

Tony frowned at him, blocking his escape. “Dude, don’t you wanna check it out? Be a hero for once? I know that you were keeping tabs on ol’ Kingpin for a while.”

“I am far from being a hero, Stark,” Carlton said tiredly, pushing past him. Tony sighed, turning to fall into step with him.

“And yet, look at me. We don’t exactly fit the golden boy Captain America role, but it’s good intentions that count, right?”

“My so-called good intentions got my fiance killed, Stark. Look into it with your spider friend if you’re itching for action. I’m not looking for redemption.”

“And yet, you followed me to my car,” Tony said.

Carlton blinked, finding that he was unconsciously following Tony’s lead and was now standing next to his red shiny sports car. Tony pulled out his sunglasses and smirked, climbing in.

“Well, get in, loser, we’re going crime-stopping.”

On the way to Fisk’s labs, Tony contacted Spider-man about any updates on Fisk’s or Doctor Octavius’s movements. He confirmed that they were both in the labs for the past several hours. From the activities that he had observed, they seemed to be building a large machine deep within the labs with power sources leading underground.

“So, we’re just gonna go without backup?” Carlton asked in disbelief.

“No,” Tony scoffed, “We are the backup.”

Carlton sputtered, gesturing to himself. “And what am I supposed to do?”

Tony sighed, digging around the back of his car for a box, unceremoniously tossing a watch at Carlton. He caught it, inspecting it closely before putting it on.

“One button has a taser, the other a communicator. There’s also a little thing I added to check the cameras in the area, then there’s the iron-glove with the same functions of the ones on my suit. Oh, also, a flashlight. Can’t forget that. Plays music, too, if you want. You’re a fellow genius, Drake, you’ll figure it out.” Tony patted his back. “Watch, we’re going to be besties once this is all over.”

They waited until nightfall to start moving. Spider-man updated them on Fisk’s whereabouts, saying that his car was driving away from the building. They all met up and readily agreed that this didn’t have to be a big issue that reached the news. Secrecy wasn’t exactly Tony’s style, but he could take it seriously when he needed to.

Spider-man swiftly subdued the security guards on patrol while Tony hacked into the cameras. One guard had slipped away from his post to check on the others. Carlton quickly lifted his watch and pressed a button, hoping that it was a taser. Bright light blinded the man, making him shrink away. Carlton used this to press another button, successfully tasing him. Tony looked down at the guard and nodded over to Spider-man. He quickly lifted the man and placed him with the others that were wrapped in webbing.

“There’s an elevator near here that goes below ground level,” Tony whispered, “Or we could go through the warehouse. It’s currently empty.”

Tony waved a security guard’s keycard over the reader and Spider-man headed in first. The other two crouched in the corner and watched through the camera on the masked hero, hoping to find something. The way down to the labs below ground went smoothly and it made them feel uneasy. Each floor was brightly lit and suspiciously empty. As he reached the lowest floor, Spider-man paused in his tracks.

“Someone’s here,” he muttered.

Tony activated his iron glove and readied to go in, eyeing the camera through Carlton’s watch. Spider-man entered a narrow hallway leading towards a single metal door. His spider-senses were off the charts as he approached, turning the knob slowly. It was unlocked.

The camera suddenly blurred, followed by a loud smack. A woman in a lab coat, eyes covered by goggles, and four metal arms stretched out from her back, stood in front of him. She smirked, one arm reaching over out of the camera’s view, before pulling back and revealing Spider-man’s mask clutched in its metal claws.

“Ah, that’s a no-no,” he warned.

“Such a young man,” she cooed, an arm holding him yanking him away from the wall and slammed him into a large chair in the room. Metal clamps held his arms and legs in place, rendering him incapacitated as she casually dragged an office chair over. “I’m sure you’re curious about what we’re doing here.”

“It’d be nice if you told me,” Spider-man said.

“I’ve seen the technology you use, so I think you’d appreciate what I’m about to tell you,” she said, standing up and approaching the wide window facing a massive chamber, a large machine in the middle. “Oh, where are my manners? I'm Doctor Olivia Octavius. My friends call me Liv, but my enemies- ” Her metal arms wriggled about, one reaching over to Spider-man to touch his head “- They call me Doc Ock.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Spider-man.”

“Young man with manners. You see, Kingpin commissioned what I call a Super Collider.”

“A Super Collider?” His eyes drift towards the chamber, landing on the panel on the ceiling. Must be where the power source is. If he could just get to it… “And what does this Super Collider do?”

Tony tapped Carlton on the shoulder and they began to make their way down. Halfway down to the chamber, they started to hear footsteps. The guards were resuming their patrols. Carlton activated his iron glove, metal pieces extending from the watch to perfectly wrap around his hand, and the two scientists continued on with caution.

Doc Ock smirked at this question, turning back to her capture. “Since you came all this way, why don’t I show you what it does? It makes a magnificent light show. I’m sure you will love it.”

A few guards got in the way of Tony and Carlton’s descent, but they were swiftly taken care of and hidden. Just as they reached the narrow hallway that they saw through the camera, a booming whirring resounded from the room. They shared a panic look and rushed towards the door with their iron gloves ready.

They were met with the sight of a man that looked to be in his late twenties with ruffled brown hair wearing Spider-man’s suit. He looked to have been beaten around since that last time they had checked his camera. Tony shot a glare at the woman as her fingers fluttered over the control panel, unphased by their entrance.

“Curiosity killed the cat, fellas,” she commented as the roaring from the collider grew stronger. An atmospheric meter lowers down, a tiny light blinking.

“Stop the machine, Octopus!” Tony warned, aiming his iron glove at her.

“Or what?” She raised an eyebrow, making eye contact with him as her finger lowered towards a blinking button. “If you shoot, who knows what that will do to the machine. Could be interesting…”

A metal arm shot out before his glove could charge. He staggered back and shot out a beam, redirecting the arm and causing it to crash through the glass. She glared, whipping around to check on her machine while Tony rushed over to the revealed Spider-man.

“How you doin’, kid?” Tony whispered, releasing his limbs from the chair.

“Been better,” Peter grunted. “Is this a good time to tell you that my name’s Peter?”

“Why are you doing this?” Carlton demanded as an energy beam shot to the middle of the chamber.

“Carlton Drake,” she scoffed, turning to him, “Don’t you wish you had another chance to make things right? The choices we’re given are paths that lead to an endless possible points in our lives. Each path we choose to walk down opens up to new paths to choose from. Thus, creating- “

“Alternate realities,” Carlton finished.

Doc Ock nodded. “What if you had chosen to listen to your dear (Y/n)- “

“Don’t you dare bring them up! I made my choice and I’m living with it.”

“But what if you have access to that other choice. You can go to another reality where you’re living happily with (Y/n).”

Carlton’s eyes narrowed. “Is this why Fisk wanted you to build this?”

She shrugged. “Well, it’s something I’ve always wanted to tap into, but to have a desperate millionaire fund my little project is always a treat.” She flinched and a metal arm shot out towards the door where Tony was escaping with Peter. “You’re gonna miss the show.”

The air in the chamber began to warp, gradually forming into a portal. Doc Ock moved to give the machine more power before being intercepted by a spider web shooting out from Peter. Chaos erupted in the room, a blur of spider webs, energy beams, and metal arms flying around. The lights began to flicker, drawing their attention back to the machine that was almost at maximum power. Carlton attempted to disengage from the fight to stop the machine when one of Doc Ock’s arms swung out and knocked him out of the window.

“No!” Peter shouted, jumping to catch Carlton as he got sucked into the growing portal.

“You’re not going anywhere!” Doc Ock growled, another arm grabbing Peter and slamming him through the door.

Carlton felt the Collider pull him in. It wasn’t like a vacuum, but more like being swept away by an invisible river. He aimed his iron glove towards the ceiling panel to shut it down, then froze as he risked a glance into the portal. He saw a flash of your face, alive and happy.

Suddenly, the portal grew rapidly in an unstable manner and he could just see Doc Ock through the shatter glass with a gleeful grin on her face, a fist gripping onto a lever as she increased the power to its maximum capacity, lights flickering and surging around her. An energy beam from Tony’s iron glove shot out towards the panel before the portal swallowed Carlton completely, his body feeling as if swept away by an invisible river.

#carlton drake x reader #carlton drake #venom #venom imagine #marvel imagine #science & faith series #riz ahmed imagine #into the spiderverse inspired #marvel #doctor carlton drake #dr carlton drake

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rpbetter · 3 years ago

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You make some really good posts!! Can I ask something about DNIs? I know it's not directly RP-related, but I have trouble as an RPer with how many DNIs, with urls, there are now. I try not to interact with muns who have them, I block them, because it feels manipulative? But I'm also tempted to block people who follow those muns, because they probably think their DNIs are okay to have, so they're still "bad", just not as bad? Do you think that's overkill, am I shooting myself in the foot?

Oh, thank you! I'm very happy you've enjoyed them!

And, of course, ask anything at all!

I think, ultimately, the answer to whether that's overkill is entirely dependent on what your experience is and if you're happy with it. I don't think it is overkill at all, but if you feel like it is costing you too many mutuals, it might be overkill for you.

I'm a pretty insular RPer, I like a handful of close writing partners that I write a lot of threads with, so, having something like, under ten writing partners is great for me while it's miserable for other muns. I can go wild on blocking and not have it negatively impact my enjoyment, but I know that's not the case for everyone!

And I do, actually, I do go pretty wild with the blocking when it comes to things like DNIs. If it comes off as policing to me, not just something like a difference of opinion or a strong opinion on something, I'm going to block. Otherwise, it's just recognizing that this isn't a mun I'm going to work out with, but no hard feelings. With policing though...I don't want that anywhere near me or my mutuals, so, it's going to be a block.

Because they do tend to be in these odd, like, nested situations lol I totally will spend the effort if their DNI is bad enough to look at the muns they interact with and make sure I don't have future contact with them either. The RPC is such a big place, making it easier to forget URLs than to remember them, but it's also a place where we establish circles of contact, making it easier to run into the same group repeatedly. I feel like it's better for my peace of mind to be a little more certain than not at all that this isn't going to happen as easily.

If that DNI etc. has been so awful, I definitely don't require their mutuals professing the same beliefs as loudly as they are. If you interact with someone, maybe you don't know their pet fish's name or the obscure lore in a headcanon they posted five years ago or the rule they updated without telling anyone, but you do know what is on their pinned post or blog description or rules. At some point, we all visit each other's blogs in dash-view if nothing else when we're getting replies or checking for memes they might have posted, going through their tags, whatever. I do not believe that you're mutuals who reblog from each other often, reply frequently to each other, ship each other's muses and so forth, and all this time, you've somehow failed to notice your bestie mun is telling proshippers to die in their DNI lmao

No, you've seen it. And I find it extremely hard to believe, too, that it's never come up in conversation OOC either.

So, this hypothetical mutual is so oblivious to others, completely agrees with the other one's views while not feeling confident enough to share them publicly, or is scared enough of the other one that they won't disagree...and no matter which/which combination that might be, they're not a mutual I want.

Especially when it comes to a DNI with someone's URL in it. Hard pass on anyone who is okay with that!

If I visited a writing partner's blog, let's say this person is also my closest friend, I value them and the threads I have with them so much, and I saw that in their DNI they had dropped someone's URL? We would have to talk. I'd have to bring it up because it's the right thing to do (and would also be highly out of character for any of my friends, thus very concerning). There would have to be a question posed about what happened here, why did you feel like this was a good choice, and do you think it's increasing or lessening the problem to have that there?

Honestly, sometimes people do get so upset about something that has happened that their worst impulses are let loose freely. When you ask someone you have an established relationship with about that, unless you're being really hateful about it right off, it can help them settle down, take a step back, and see that this is maybe not the right action to take. To me, silence says you're okay with it.

When muns started putting more elaborate DNI's in, that alone rubbed me the wrong way because I genuinely do not think that the majority of that information is at all necessary. It's something I can see and fully understand minors doing, not because they're terrible or anything but because the impulses and rationale are just different. You're very much geared to be as loud as possible about things that are important to you, making them a part of you in a huge way, as a teenager. Shit just is unreasonably intense! But as an adult, I expect that behavior to be different. You don't actually need to say on your RP blog's DNI that "transphobes WILL be blocked!!!"

Well, yes, I should hope so lol we're a community filled with muns who are trans, I'd certainly hope you were not cool with that kind of thing. It's one of those assumptive states, it goes without saying because, in a group of legitimate adults, it literally doesn't have to be said that a trans mun in a group of trans muns in a RPC filled with trans muns would be intolerant of transphobic assholes.

And, no one likes a damn transphobe, it's not like this stunning, fresh information, here. Not making such a statement does not, in fact, act as a welcome.

Saying that, and I do not mean literally just that, it's just an example of the type of things found in a common DNI, is a little immature for me. Some of those things are, in addition to being purely self-validating: playing into the fear created by policing, virtue signaling, policing, or baiting. And all of them are pointless. Telling someone who would already be bigoted toward you and others to not interact if they somehow miraculously ID as whatever label that takes for them to not interact with your posts is waving a metaphoric red flag in front of a bull. Kind of like tagging a post as either "antis don't interact" or "proshippers don't interact." Actual quickest and most assured way to get that interaction!

I totally understand the age thing, it's self-protecting. Most people do respect it, but when they don't, you've clearly stated that this is not for whatever age group. Things pertaining to your writing and/or muse I also understand and think are great for a quick glance before someone even gets to the rules. Having in a DNI something like "muns who are easily triggered by gore" when you write a horror muse, for instance. You're advising them that this isn't a great idea for them, and it shouldn't be expected that you change your muse and topics because they decided to follow anyway.

But it became excessive very quickly, and there is the expectation that blogs have a DNI. The further expectation is that there be a specific list of things found in that DNI, if yours does not include it, you obviously don't have a problem with those things. I really cannot be okay with that, you know?

However, when it wasn't being used as a callout or a way to police, that was something that could just be ignored. Once URLs of other RPers started to appear, it was a whole other problem.

It used to be the pervading rule of the RPC that it is not alright to force other muns to chose between you and another mun that you had an issue with, but now we have DNIs with other muns' URLs in them. Now, it's the opposite take - if you have an issue with a URL being dropped in a DNI, or if you continue to interact with the mun, you're likely to get a callout or be on the receiving end of other bullying.

So, I very much think the self-insulating thing to do is to avoid those mutuals as well as the RPer with the URL-laden DNI. They could just block you, but is someone who was so juvenile as to put another mun's URL in their damn DNI going to be mature enough to do that? Will their friends once they complain about you? For me, it's too high of a risk of being around muns I wish would take a very long break from RP and only come back once they've grown up some.

I would never advise anyone to do something that is erring on the side of getting them into harassment water unnecessarily (as in, not something that pertains to digging in your heels and writing what you want or not tolerating bullying where you see it happening), and I feel like not doing what you are is that. However, I also am a firm believer in agency, even to make mistakes.

So, if you genuinely feel like blocking mutuals of someone with a URL-dropped/callout/other highly offensive and bullying thing in their DNI is costing you so many chances to RP that you're no longer enjoying yourself here? You might want to consider adjusting how widely you are blocking.

If that's the case, try going for mutuals who are what I call Casual Mutuals and leaving them open. Those are mutuals that the mun doesn't write with often or at all, they're technically mutuals because they both follow each other, but that's it. There might be some liking of posts or even comments or non-committal, OOC style memes sent in by Casual Mutuals, but that interaction is sparse and, yep, casual. These mutuals might legitimately be unaware of the mun's hateful, bullying bullshit in the DNI, or they are actually afraid to unfollow/block them at this point, so their option feels like staying around as quietly as possible.

With that last deal...you could even be doing someone a favor, Anon. When I've encountered that situation before, it's come about because the other person's Casual Mutual is painfully anxious, shy, and a previous victim of bullying. They feel isolated, they don't have many or any writing partners, and they really, truly, are terrified to distance themselves in a way that might be noticed. It's a type of toxic interaction that rarely gets mentioned in PSAs, presumably because it is so low on the actual interaction scale.

Giving them someone else in their corner, especially if that other mun is more open about their intolerant stance on bullying, can go a long way toward giving someone else confidence. I've had other people's Casual Mutuals become my Casual Mutuals and wouldn't you know it? After a while, they get braver. They see my friends and mutuals doing our thing without any of the bullying going on, they see us supporting anti-policing and not tolerating bullying, and they get brave enough to unfollow the hateful mun. It feels nice to even inadvertently help someone, and over the years, some of those Casual Mutuals have become great writing partners, too. People I would have missed if I had made the choice to block them by the association of a hateful mun they were trapped in the orbit of.

Just try to exercise caution! You seem like a reasonable person who doesn't mind truly thinking on things or doing the work required to be cautious. Assume the close mutuals are a problem, too, and block away. Build a wall with some razor wire on it with those blocks! Don't assume the low-interaction, very casual mutuals are, though. Check out their blogs for signs of agreement with Hateful Mun, and if they don't have any, give them a shot as far as just leaving them unblocked goes.

I also have to say, here at the end, that it's extremely nice to see that people out there are doing this. Honestly would have thought I'd be the last person to encourage a ton of blocking, but that's the environment of the RPC now, and it's really the only way we can deal with this issue. You can't reason with these people, you can't stop them, you can only stay away from them for your own good and send a message that this isn't benefiting them. Not everyone agrees with them, they're not going to keep having people left open for their attacks or their RP entertainment. And if enough people are just walling them off, that is a message they'll have to receive because RP runs on interaction with others.

They might think they want every "nasty ass" xyz Problematic RPer to block them, not interact, or vanish from their view of the RPC, but I don't think they realize what that really looks like. What it looks like is a huge percentage of the RPC missing, including people they didn't realize were "problematic." We tend to be quieter, wanting to stay in our own lanes and actually enjoy the hobby and each other. That's why they have to resort to shit like making everyone pre-guilty, or setting up traps to catch people out on being "gross."

So, I genuinely do not think they're prepared for the rude awakening of silence that would happen if we all actually vanished, but I am dying to see it lol and do sometimes have to wonder if the complaints about the RPC being dead/dying/empty, not in a fandom but overall, are coming from the purity police some of the time. It's quite active over on the Leave Folks Alone Over Fiction side of life :D

#answered #anonymous #policing #dni lists #blocking #rp advice #rp problems

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mrs-nate-humphrey · 3 years ago

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terms and conditions /j

i had a whole page of Stuff, but since this is a private tumblr now, that page doesn’t display and is totally inaccessible - so i’m reposting it here, under a read more. and i’m pinning it. nobody is obligated to read this, but i’d recommend that you do - just for your own sake, so that later on you don’t go “omg i can’t believe that is ivy’s stance i feel so betrayed” or whatever. i’m very clear on where i stand on a lot of things & i’ve not made a secret of it, lol.

- x- o - x - o -

✦ if you’re old enough to watch gossip girl, you’re probably old enough to follow me – on this blog, i’m almost never more nsfw than the show was, since most of my posts here are reblogs of gifsets, meta, etc. whenever i do post something that’s more nsfw though it’ll be tagged “#minors dni” so if you’re under 18 or if you don’t want to see that, pls filter that out.

✦ i’m proship & a multishipper, so i am very ship and let ship, basically. i use the word ship to mean “relationship dynamic that you find compelling or interesting” as opposed to “relationship dynamic that you find healthy” or “relationship dynamic that you choose to emulate.” me saying i ship something just means i’m interested in exploring it through fiction, or reading about it, or whatever. like, i ship derena, but i am obsessed with what makes them so incompatible. i write fic about them breaking up all the time.

✦ i don’t care what people ship as long as they’re aware what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour in real life, and treat people around them with respect, basically. shipping something doesn’t equal to endorsing it in real life. nah, i will not debate this – i know it’s a dealbreaker for some, in which case, the unfollow button is right there.

✦ i am pretty critical of this show and of the characters i love, but (especially with characters like jenny and vanessa, who the fandom loves to hate) i don’t complain uniformly about characters. do not assume that i’m endorsing something awful they’ve done just because i’ve never spoken about it.

✦ also keep in mind that i’ve watched the entire show only once, so some things might have gone over my head and/or i might’ve forgotten certain things. if you’d like to bring this to my attention, please be polite, but feel free to. if i interpreted an episode or character differently, i might just agree to disagree, but i’m always open to conversation.

✦ so far i haven’t gotten any asks on this, and i’d like to keep it that way, so. do not involve me in any sort of LGBT discourse. if i wanted that, i’d run a discourse blog. i firmly maintain that people’s genders and sexualities are nobody’s business but their own.

✦ i don’t have a DNI / BYF because i’ve tried that before and all it’s ever done is make me anxious – i am not the sort of person who can check the blogs of everyone who’s following me, or who likes or reblogs my posts, and block them – i run this blog for fun, and engaging with people who make me uncomfortable (ie, the DNI list) is not my idea of a good time, so i am not going to do that.

✦ however, if you’re the kind of person who makes assumptions about people based on what they ship – especially if you bully or mock people for it – you’re not welcome here.

✦ i am a queer, trans person of colour, though, so if you’re racist, homophobic, transphobic etc, i have no idea what you get out of following me. other than the knowledge that i’ll never be friends with you, obviously. (same goes for all forms of discrimination/bigotry. none of you are welcome here.)

✦ to be honest, i’m not very good at tagging, but if there’s anything you need tagged ask me, and i’ll do my best! as long as you’re asking in good faith (ie, not like that person who wanted pomegranates to be tagged as gore), and it’s not something that triggers me personally to tag (tagging the word ‘queer’ isn’t something i can do, so don’t ask), i will 100% accommodate.

- x- o - x - o -

why am I blocked?

uhh, if you are blocked, it’s never a moral judgement or anything like that. it’s usually one of the following:

✦ you post anti-ship stuff in the ship tag, or anti-character stuff in the character tag. i will block if it’s not tagged properly, because i really don’t want to see that when i’m just chilling out and looking for content that makes me happy.

✦ you’re unnecessarily mean, or passive aggressive, or patronising in reblogs when you reblog from me. you’re allowed to dislike my opinions / perspective, or dislike what i ship, or even hate me, i don’t know. but if you’re going to reblog from me while being rude about it, i don’t want to see that in my notifs.

✦ you use language that i find personally triggering to an extent that i do not want to see you in the ship tag. this one is – listen, if tumblr had a mute option, that’d be great, because i know this is my issue, not yours. it’s weird and complicated & honestly? personal.

✦ you deliberately did something bigoted or you knowingly supported someone who did something bigoted.

✦ you blocked me first &/or i'm on your DNI.

i don’t like blocking people if i’m being honest. but this is ultimately a personal blog, and not only that – gossip girl is a bad show, sure, but it’s one of the few things that makes me happy right now and i don’t want to lose that. i need to find a way to run this blog that works for me, and for me only. that’s all i’ve got.

#personal #gonna pin this and remove the hyperlink!#please do not reblogge this #thanku!

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karasuno-writings · 5 years ago

Note

You know those headcanons you just posted about the reader playing with Kuroo’s, Lev’s and Akaashi’s hair? I ,,, need one for Suga, Kenma (and Kiyoko if you write for her?),,,,,, pls ....

I NEEDED to get to this right away because I kid you not that as I wrote the other headcanons Kenma kept getting in my mind!! Also of course I write for Kiyoko, she is such a good character and my bi heart loves her too. I hope this are good and thank you so much for requesting!! And I have such a soft spot for Suga, underapreciated angel. Also I am willing to bet that these 3 (and Oikawa) are the characters with the BEST hair.

Go check @haikyuu-scenarios-box !! Aside from being such a good blog and having impecable taste in video games, commissions are available aside from requests!!

____________________________________________

Kenma

At first he was hesitant about the idea of you playing with his hair, he was not sure if it would end up with his hair being tangled, he is quiet picky with who he lets touch his hair (and him in general) and generally hates it when people do it.

However one day the two of you were on your usual stay-in days, he was playing videogames and you asked if you could play with his hair. Just one glance at your puppy eyes and he agreed.

Its now routine that you do his hair everyday, he loves how it feels, he loves how it looks. He never asks for you to do it, you just KNOW he wants you to do his hair.

In the mornings he just sits in the bed generally playing playstation as you do his hair, its such a nice routine and he usually never mentions it but him wearing it all day long, everyday, is so special to you both.

He only undoes his look when he is playing videogames because he wants you to play with his hair while he does. He loves the feeling even more than the actual result, and it is such an intimate gesture for him, it makes him feel loved.

The first time Kuroo saw him he had this shit-eating grin which annoyed Kenma, none of the boys said a word but it was clear it was your doing and even clearer that he was proud due to his small smile after his initial annoyance expression.

Lev made such a big deal out of it, asking questions and being all over him. Kenma did answer it was your deed because he is actually proud of it and Lev was being annoying. When Lev asked if you could do his too Kenma just answered “It wouldn’t suit you”, before he started to annoy him again. Lev was pretty offended but did shut up after saying that it totally would

Whenever you know he has a match you do a ponytail with what you call you “lucky hairband”, he is not superstitious but playing is easier and he feels you closer so he likes the gesture

He actually takes pretty good care of his hair, he is a combination between thin hair strands and just soft soft hair, so the moment your hands are on it you feel almost as if you are touching a kitten it is the softest hair ever. He uses conditioner so it makes it so easy to work with and it’s the reason why it’s so soft.

He actually does not like braids that much, he feels like they weigh him too much, however ponytails and clips are a must, and half-ups are his favorites. He will wear anything you do tho.

When the two of you watch movies he is the one playing with your hair if you like that, if not he respects it. He is pretty good at styling it too, nothing too fancy but more than most. He also likes brushing it after you take a shower if possible, it feels nice to him.

Kiyoko

It actually all started because the two of you were about to go on a date and decided to get ready together so it was your perfect opportunity. You asked her if you could help with his hair and she blushed in such an adorable way while nodding.

When you were done you almost cried??? She looked so good?? You kept complimenting her and making her blush even more. She smiled as soon as she saw the final product it was so wholesome

She always lightly hums when you play with hair hair, it barely inaudible but it is beautiful.

She does like how it feels however what she likes the most is the final product and the dedication that goes into it, specially when you smile after you are done. She always kindly asks you to help her with her hair and always thanks you after you are done.

She kisses you every-time after you finish, she blushed so hard but loved you so much for what you do for her.

The team goes crazy when she walks in with your beautiful hairdos. Noya and Tanaka have the strongest reactions; a braid?? They are crying. A half up?? They are cheering. Top knot bun?? They are going apeshit. The other boys just love it so much, they all definitely thank you for doing the lords work whenever they see you.

She is so good to work on with, she is patient and will remain quiet the whole time, she likes when you talk to her and tell her stories while you do her hair it is quality time that feels so personal to her.

When the two of you are sleeping together if you play with hes hair she will hum a little louder than usual, that way the two of you drift asleep fairly quickly.

She is fairly gentle but actually does not know how to do much more than a ponytail so if she plays with your hair it’s usually her hands running through it gently, it actually feels incredible and absolutely nice.

Sugawara

This baby is the one that approached you asking for you to lay with his hair. He loves when people run his hands through his silver hair and as soon as he feels is the right time he will be holding your hand and drive it up to his hair.

He was absolutely wowed when it turned out you loved playing with his hair, he was starry-eyed when you proposed to do his hair and play with it in more intricate ways.

He kinds just sits in front of you and waits for you to start with his hair; whenever your hands work on him he closes his eyes in pleasure and has the biggest smile.

He loves talking to you and makes cheeky comments when the two of you are in a more playful mood. However if the two of you are chilling he likes sitting in between your legs and just run his hands tenderly up and down your legs.

He tends to fall asleep quiet often while you play with his hair, he is just a sucker for it and it feels too good that he can feel himself relax and before either of you notice he will be drooling all over you and snoring adorably

He does not have hair that long but the hair at his forehead and on the front of his hair is perfect for pinning and small braids.

His hair is thick but surprisingly soft, it is really nice to the touch and it actually shines in such a pretty way. It is perfect for holding different styles they stay on perfectly through the whole day. If you work with gel you can get him to look absolutely handsome.

He always compliments what you do, when he looks at what you have done in the mirror he flashes you a smile and kisses your cheek

He loves showing what you do to the other third years and it makes them all so jealous. He tells all of them it was your deed

After any match, regardless if he has played much or not, he just lays in your lap and asks you to play with his hair. It makes him feel much better.

When he is feeling a bit down he also needs you to play with his hair, and if possible tell him how much you love him. When he is having such intimate moments with you he feels like he has done something right and it really shows what he means for you and right there he feels like nothing could go wrong

He knows nothing about styling your hair but whenever you two are cuddling if you let him he will brush your hair with his hands while almost singing, he specially loves this if you are lying on top of him with your hair on his chest, he is so gentle.

He just loves you very much and for him touch means affection, so he loves the connection that you chose to share with him

#kozume kenma #sugawara kōshi #shimizu kiyoko #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #sugawara x reader #kenma x reader

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our-time-is-now · 4 years ago

Text

July 8, 2019 (1): Bifi and 500 Miles

(previous play)

You can find more information about the authors, translators, content warning and additional information about the plays in the pinned post on our blog.

Monday, 10:07 am:

David: *Hanna and Jonas have picked them up at quarter to 10 but as Matteo still had to pack his toiletries – he had already double-checked the rest of the luggage last night – Hanna and Jonas had to wait in the car for 5 minutes before they could finally leave* *they have agreed with the others to meet up at Carlos' house, as Sam had picked up the van at 9:30 and had already picked up the others* *from there they planned on driving to Heidesee with all three of the cars* *have just arrived at Carlos', where all the others are already waiting, and are getting out of the car* *hears Jonas say: "Hanna and I were on time!"* *grins slightly and shrugs before greeting the others via handshake or hug* *hears Mia: "Well, I think we can cope with a 7 minute delay!"* *nods* I agree! *then looks around and asks* You've already packed all the luggage? *sees Abdi nod: "Yes, of course! We can actually leave straight away!"* *sees Kiki look at her clipboard: "Shouldn't we go through the list again!"*

Matteo: *slightly rolls his eyes at Jonas' comment* *then grins at Mia and nods exaggeratedly* I agree! *laughs at Kiki's question* Sure, let's go through the list again... but then it's not my fault if we don't leave on time. *sees Kiki hesitate for a moment but then start, after all: "So, the tents are all in the van, and all our provisions are also in the van, but also in the legroom, that's going to be a little uncomfortable, but we'll manage..."* *interrupts her* There's still room in Hanna's car... *sees Kiki look at him horrified: "Even with the luggage of four people?"* *sees her immediately go to Hanna's car and inspect the trunk* *sees her hold up his duffel bag and hears her ask: "Is that yours? There's no way that's enough?"* *laughs* I don't need much. *feels Carlos tug at his shirt: "That's not even yours, either... I'm sure he'll help himself from David's stuff... they'll manage, babe, let's get the provisions into Hanna's car and then that's ok."* *nods* Exactly.

David: *nods hesitantly when Kiki says that they are going through the list again and hopes that she’s really only summarizing everything and not going through every single item on it* *hugs Matteo from behind and puts his head on his shoulder when Kiki starts* *is somehow really tired because they currently have a pretty late sleeping pattern and he’s gotten up earlier today to at least be able to shower and have some coffee in peace* *follows Kiki with his eyes when she inspects the trunk of Hanna’s car* *grins slightly at her words and quietly murmurs to Matteo* I told you… *then laughs at Carlos’ words and lets go of Matteo again* *shrugs* If we have to, we’ll just do some laundry there… *also thinks that Matteo packed a little light but doesn’t really think that it’s that big of a deal* *sees Kiki nod at Carlos’ words and then look at Abdi and Carlos: “Yes, could you carry two boxes over? Maybe we can even fit three… okay what else….”* *has to grin when Carlos and Abdi really go to the van immediately and carry boxes to the other car* *then hears Kiki again: “Okay, we have games… the barbecue stuff is in Alex’ car… what else is important…?"* *hears Mia: “Kiki, we have everything! We’ve already gone through the list in the chat… Let’s hit the road – otherwise it will get even later."* *sees Kiki hesitate: “Hmm… okay, but once we arrive everyone should stick to the plan: The ones sleeping in the tents put up their tents and the others unload the rest of the stuff and tidy up the house and make some space in there, okay?"*

Matteo: *simply starts to grin even broader and nods at everything that’s going on* *truly doesn’t really care at what time they leave and arrive* *also nods when Kiki announces the plan for when they arrive* *then sees Carlos and Abdi whisper and shake their heads* *looks over to them and sees them making swimming motions and grins* *briefly nods imperceptibly and then turns around to see if David is still standing there* *hears Kiki say: “Hello, guys, that’s important! We’ll unpack first, once we arrive, and then we can have fun, okay?"* *sees Jonas salute and hears him say: “Yes, Sir, Sergeant Kiki, no fun before 1310 hours, understood!"* *laughs out loud and salutes, as well* *sees Kiki look at Jonas in confusion for a moment and then shake her head: “Only if we’re finished by then."* *hears everyone laugh now and sees Mia lovingly push Kiki: “Okay, let’s hit the road, first the van and we’ll follow."* *takes David’s hand and goes over to Hanna’s car with him to sit down on the back seat*

David: *grins broadly when Jonas and Matteo salute and glances at the time* *laughs* Oh, that’s gonna be a close call! Then we really have to be quick and hurry with putting up the tents… *is glad that Kiki is then convinced by Mia to hit the road and lets Matteo pull him to the car* *takes a seat behind Hanna while Matteo sits down behind Jonas* *buckles up, leans back and reaches for Matteo’s hand again* *looks over at him and is suddenly really excited that they are finally leaving – their first holiday together* *smiles at him in anticipation and squeezes his hand* *then hears Hanna from the front: “Okay, what’s not on Kiki’s list and so we forgot it, is some music for the road. My father only has oldies and classics in here. Does anyone have a CD with them? Or the radio or papa’s CDs?"* *grins slightly* Oh, classics aren’t that bad… definitely better than the radio! *sees Jonas nod: “I agree. But oldies aren’t bad, either… although, depends on the oldies…”*

Matteo: *buckles up and grins when he sees David holding out his hand and immediately takes it* *then listens to the discussion about the music and shrugs* Yeah, put the oldies on… if it’s too bad we can change it… *sees Jonas getting busy with the CDs and put one in* *hears “Be my Baby” by The Ronnettes start to play and grins* *starts to nod his head exaggeratedly* That’s super groovy! *hears Hanna laugh: “Definitely…!"* *then hears Jonas sing along and grins* *suddenly really feels like they’re on holiday and grins over at David*

David: *hears Hanna start the car and pull into the traffic behind the van while Jonas puts in the CD* *has to smile when he hears the first song and automatically starts to bounce his leg with the beat* *laughs at Matteo’s words and grins when Jonas starts to sing along* *then also hears Hanna loudly sing along when they reach the chorus and grins over to Matteo and starts to sing along, as well* *they listen to two more songs before they reach the Autobahn and “Like a Rolling Stone” by Bob Dylan starts to play* *likes the song and quietly hums along* *then suddenly hears Hanna from the front: “So, now I’m hungry!" and Jonas: “Dude, we’ve only been on the road for 12 minutes…”* *grins slightly when Hanna replies: “The Autobahn always makes me hungry!"* *knows the feeling and therefore says* I can relate. They somehow make you feel like you won’t get to anything edible for a while and like you’ll still be on the road for a long time! *hears Hanna’s triumph: “Yes, exactly! You see, Jonas, David gets it!"* *sees Jonas shake his head with a grin: “You’re both crazy!" and sees him turn to Matteo: “They’re crazy, Luigi! Say something!"* *grins slightly and then looks at Matteo* Matteo hasn’t had breakfast yet and he’s always hungry anyways – I’m afraid you’re on your own with your opinion right now…

Matteo: *laughs when Hanna says that she’s hungry* *definitely knows why she’s his favorite girl* *only nods slightly to the discussion that follows* *can’t believe that Jonas really thinks that he’s going to take his side on this one* *was just about to say that when David already does and grins even broader* Exactly. You should actually know that, Mister best friend… *sees Jonas wave it off: “Okay, okay… and where do we get something to eat now? Or did you really pack provisions for a 1.5 hour long drive?"* *laughs slightly* Noooo, but who was smart enough to make sure that the provisions are in this car? *hears Hanna laugh and say: “You’re the best!"* *laughs* I know… hang on… *unbuckles his seatbelt and turns around on the seat to halfway climb into the trunk and see what he can reach*

David: *grins when he realizes due to Hanna’s and Matteo’s conversation that the provisions are in the car with them and when Matteo unbuckles to see what he can find* *hears him rummage around for a while and eventually hears him ask: “Milchschnitte or Bifi?"* *thinks for a moment and eventually says* Bifi! *hears Hanna say at the same time: “Milchschnitte!” and sees Matteo sit back down and triumphantly hold up Milchschnitte and Bifi* *laughs and takes one of the Bifis while handing Hanna a Milchschnitte* I’m sure Kiki counted them… and whoever had to buy them will get into trouble because some of them are missing… *hears Hanna: “It’s not like the closest Aldi isn’t only 15 minutes away by car… basically we could have bought everything there…”* *then hears Jonas: “If I were you I would shut up. Kiki is sitting in the back of the van and is probably wondering right now where you’ve got the Milchschnitte from…”* *sees him wave towards the van exaggeratedly*

Matteo: *takes a bite off his Bifi and then laughs out loud* Kiki should stop making such a fuss… she has to relax a little… *hears everyone laugh and Hanna say: “Yes, tell that to her face, I’m sure she’ll take that well."* *laughs again* I’m not afraid of Kiki. *hears Jonas say: “Liar. We’re all afraid of Kiki and…?” and hears Hanna answer: “Justifiably so!”* *shrugs one shoulder and takes another bite off his Bifi* Well, okay… but the Aldi really isn’t far away… we even walked there once because while we were high you really wanted to have that one type of cookies, Jonas? *hears Jonas laugh: “Yeees, but I don’t remember how long it took us… probably forever…”*

David: *listens to the three with a grin, but then hears how Hanna apparently didn’t think that it was funny and hears her say: “It took you 2 hours and 40 minutes in total! It would have been really nice back then if you had told me about it before you left…”* *sees Jonas put a placating hand on her knee and hears him say: “Yeah, sorry, was really stupid of us… but now we’re older and wiser… and not high as often as we used to…”* *can somehow understand Hanna really well* *would also be worried if Matteo stayed away for so long and he didn’t know where he was* *looks over at him and takes his hand again* *everyone is silent for a moment and then he eventually hears Hanna: “Sorry, I didn’t want to bring down the mood… it’s in the past now and forgotten, okay?"* *hears Jonas: “Okay, put behind us and forgotten… I’ll go find a song that gets the mood back…”* *grins slightly and watches him meddle with the CD player*

Matteo: *grimaces slightly at Hanna’s words* *had forgotten for a moment how tense it had already been between Hanna and Jonas during that trip* Yes, that was really stupid of us… sorry… *then feels David’s hand in his’ again and smiles at him* *leans over and quickly kisses him with a grin* *then hears “500 Miles” start to play and has to laugh when Hanna groans and Jonas cheers at the same time* *only laughs and immediately starts to sing along when Jonas does* *grins when two seconds later Hanna and David also join in* *you simply cannot resist that song*

David: *has to grin when because of the song the mood is suddenly lifted again and also starts to sing along* *spends the rest of the journey in a good mood with a lot of singing and anticipation and a few stories from Heidesee* *at some point they make a quick pit stop on the roadside because Kiki has to pee and while Hanna and Jonas are out of the car talking to Sam about some shortcut that the GPS isn’t showing, Matteo and he use the time to make out* *the rest of the way their car is in the front because Hanna knows the area the best and eventually they arrive at the cabin a little after 11:30 am*

(next play)

#druck #og druck #matteo florenzi #david schreibner #davenzi #davenzi plays

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blackfemmecharacterdependency · 4 years ago

Text

34. Ivory

Previous Trigger Warnings for mentions of underage/revenge porn, mentions of eating disorder Word Count: 8388

Between Grace making that post of her rapping along to Captain Hook, her saying "aye aye" to Simon in comments, and this photo of Simon's D print in the gray sweatpants, I'm starting to think he's packing a curve 👀

Simon Laurent "liked"

Commenter: He is! Did you never see the old sex tape?

Poster: The WHAT? No… But, wait… I thought that they dated in school. You mean like something that happened after that?

Commenter: They were in school, but it was online for the longest time before she snitched, so I’m sure somebody still has it out there…

Poster: That’s gross. I’m not that desperate to see it that I wanna look at some kids doing it. No thank you.

Simon Laurent “liked”

Commenter is blocked by Simon.

Grace was in the grocery store with her mother and brother, and Zasha, a white samoyed puppy that Mrs. Monroe had purchased from a breeder… to potentially train to be in competitions, and Zasha’s handler. Why did Mrs. Monroe bring Zasha into the store, just to have someone else hold her? For the same reason that the nanny was also there, tending to Montanus. “Because, that is literally what I pay them to do.” But… we’re at the grocery store and didn’t even have to BRING them! Grace didn’t argue.

However, she did wonder if she was suffering from some type of weird mid life crisis, or just a rich, bored woman whose husband was working more and more all of the time, despite supposedly getting closer to retirement. Then, she wondered if they weren’t doing so well. But, she kept those wonders to herself, as it would frighten her to know whatever the truth was if it was anything other than her mother did whatever she wanted because she could afford to.

Plus, she wanted to get out of the house, and apparently that had been reduced to tagging along with Grace at the grocery store, in case she needed help. “You’re almost 6 months, correct? How has it been? Online, one would swear that you’re Diahanne Caroll in her prime. You’ve rarely broken a sweat. Is that for your fans?”

Grace shook her head and read the label of something before putting it into her cart, “I haven’t had any problems, except for eating way more than I used to and getting gas, but those calcium chews usually help with that and I bounce right back. You know, I’ve always taken really great care of myself, think things through and pay top dollar for the finest self care. I guess that the baby is pleased with their temporary temple.” She smiled at her mom and noticed the woman looked leery. “I know… you had a very rough pregnancy with me. Believe me, I remember this fact, but I haven’t been having that experience, personally. In fact… Did you know that I’ve gained THOUSANDS of new followers since they’ve seen that I was pregnant. Pregnant people have been asking me what I use for this and for that and I’ve been plugging my brand, since we’ve got the pregnancy line now. It’s been sensational. I’ve had a blast!”

Grace had been working on a blog about her pregnancy, which she began with a video addressing all of the questions to all of the people who were not her.

“Hey, Those That Are Graced!” She’d cheered into the camera, “Happy New Year! I know that I’ve been unavailable to reach out too, and believe me, I do miss interacting with fans and followers, but I am currently not working on my career, to focus on other things in my life. Just to touch base with everyone, I feel like we’ve had this discussion before and those of you who actually respect me would definitely not need it repeated, but there have been so many new faces of possibly unfamiliar followers that I am revisiting notes that I have in all of my bios…

First, my professional life is one thing, my private life is another. I extend myself professionally, and over the past few months, even though I have not actually been working, I’ve still been spending time providing everyone with content. Please do not send messages, comments, or questions for me to any of my friends, and especially not to my family members, Hazel in particular. She is 12 and shouldn’t have adults bothering her for information that not only isn’t her concern, but isn’t your concern. She wants to be able to enjoy the limited hours of screen time that she’s allowed. That becomes difficult for her when people are asking her hundreds of questions that literally are related to her mother’s sex life.

Second, my professional life is offered at my discretion, as well. Whenever there is product that I think you should try, I will announce it. If I’m not familiar with a product or no arrangements have been made for me to try a product or I’m unaware of a product… my comments is not the place for said product. That is including everything from your all natural care supplies, book recommendations, your demos, your dance videos… Like… I LOVE receiving those things, but whenever I open my comments back up, that is not where those things go.

I have links for email addresses for avenues of business, entertainment, etc on my website, and if nothing else, my website is featured on every form of social media that I have. I am the person who goes through those emails. I am NOT the person who checks my social media messages, so you will never get a response from me through those and run the risk of me not seeing something if you send it there instead.

Third, my spaces have boundaries and moderators to enforce those boundaries. Whenever you’ve been allowed to be a guest in any of my spaces or my child’s spaces, you treat that shit like Afropunk - “No sexism, no racism, no ableism, no homophobia, no fatphobia, no transphobia, no hatefulness.” And then, since I’m not Afropunk and I have even greater needs, and can’t believe I have to say this much else: No pedophilia, no inappropriate interactions with a minor, no incestuous ideation, and no nudity. My moderators are quick, but not perfect. Your fellow guests and neighbors in my spaces should never have to see jokes about my mother and I engaged in sexual acts together, or worse, my UNDERAGE daughter, and no - Hazel and I posting a dance video is not an invitation for someone to make comments that because she might be fluid in her movements that it is sexually suggestive and if ever we find one of those headass posts where you put a photo of my beautiful daughter up, say something obscene or rude or ask, “Thoughts?” Simon finds out your IP address, sometimes more than that and he doxxes your ass. Ask around. If threats of violence or suggestions of harm are given… he might show up at your house and I don’t know what to even tell you about that one, because I’m not at liberty to say, according to the lawyers.”

She smiled, relaxed, unclenched her teeth that she realized had been clenched since she began her greater needs.

“Fourth, leave Hazel alone. She isn’t going to add you, because she is not allowed to add adults that she does not know. If you follow her public figure pages, those are for her poetry, her brand, her rapping, her artwork, her theater program, and whatever announcements she wants to share with her fans about her personal life, which is usually vague and innocent. If Hazel posts that she had a great time at the premiere of some movie, that is not the place to ask her personal questions. The place to ask her personal questions is nowhere! We don’t have a space created for strangers to ask her personal questions. She sometimes will be allowed to grant an interview, in which she will answer a professional about appropriate questions that have been approved.

Fifth, shut up about Simon! Shut up about Simon! I swear to you… In the past few years that Simon and I have been in communication and the ones that we’ve been in close communication, I KNOW that you realize that we are communicating, but that falls under my private life, which I have not created a space in the public for.

Now… you may speak with Simon about whatever things he speaks about in his private life, I can’t control that, but what I can control and do control is what he will or won’t say about me, even in HIS space. Yes. I got it like that, and what will happen, is Simon will be seeing this, and he is very good at remembering details and he will memorize everything that I’ve said here and he will respect that and enforce it, even in HIS space.

Which leads me to my last thing… There’s a lot of Esmoroth fanfolk in my spaces now and you all act a certain way in your little Esmoroth corner of the Internet… but in here, in Grace’s space, you better act like you’ve been tossed to the feet of the Idol Princess when her pheromones are igniting the internal flame of servitude. Because, we stan the Idol Princess in this space, and you’d better act right.”

After the release of the 3rd book and return of the Idol Princess aka the Future Queen, several fans were disappointed and had called Simon out for “pandering.” But, several MORE fans came around. He was competing for top spots with the YA novel greats after the 3rd book. But… that also meant more fans to be in Grace’s business.

Her New Year’s announcement remained pinned at the top of her page and the next post was text, “Oh, yeah. Last but not least, you may have noticed that I’m pregnant. I’ll be featuring some of my favorite findings on my maternity journey here, so please stay tuned if you’re pregnant, expecting, or planning, for what I think and hope will be some helpful tips for your journey!”

Most of the Esmoroth fandom didn’t like her very much, but they also “just couldn’t stay away. Aside from the Grace in Maternity blog, she still didn’t have social media open for commentary, though she did sometimes pass through Simon’s or Hazel’s comments and engaged a little bit with them. She pinned the video to other sites and then just didn’t really visit them again much.

“I could barely walk whenever I was six months pregnant. I had the finest of everything, too,” Mrs. Monroe broke into her thoughts. “Then again, I had what they now call an eating disorder for several years. I… wasn’t completely… well whenever you were announced…” she looked guilty, like she did whenever she faced her own failures as a mother. “We had to get a 24 hour nurse to keep me… healthy. By seven months, I could hardly get out of bed.”

Grace furrowed her eyebrows, “Mom… you’ve never told me that you had an eating disorder. Did you ever get help for it?”

“Help? Oh… like… whenever I had to be rushed to the hospital multiple times? Yes. I got help.”

“MOM… Did you ever heal?”

“Wait, are you asking me if I have disordered eating now? Heaven’s no, Grace. I was trapped with your father by the time you were born. I eventually realized that I had to be more… alive and well than I did flawless. We hired a nutritionist and personal chef.”

“Mom… a lot of people need psychological help for something like that.”

“And I come across to you as ‘a lot of people’? Hmph. It’s pathetic enough that I allowed myself to be so weak. I wasn’t going to beg someone to give me the strength I needed.”

“That’s not what it’s like at all…” Grace cupped her mother’s face and said, “There may be things that people need to help you with, Mom. That doesn’t make you weak or whatever else you’ve convinced yourself of. It didn’t make me weak when I needed to get help. It doesn’t make Hazel weak when she needs help…”

Mrs. Monroe waved Grace’s hands off of her face, “As long as you’re fine, have no other concerns.”

“Mom…”

“Were you done with the shopping?” Grace sighed and continued moving.

Simon was pacing, clenching and unclenching his fists. Several of the message boards, every one of his social media platforms, and even at least one of Hazel’s. He’d taken her devices away, but now she was angry and he certainly couldn’t find the words to explain beyond, “You can’t be online right now.” She was scribbling aggressively in one of her paper journals, and fuming. They both were fuming from different but related reasons.

Grace came in with her little shopping entourage and Hazel rushed to her, furiously.

“Your BOY TOY took my devices DURING screen time and REFUSES to give them back!” Grace’s eyes went wide and she turned to look at Simon, who was pacing and didn’t even seem to hear the accusation, notice that she came in or to see Monty. Something was absolutely wrong here.

“Help get the groceries and I’ll get your devices, okay?” Grace said and cupped her chin. Hazel was still breathing heavily as she stormed out towards the groceries and Mrs. Monroe settled on the couch. Grace took Simon’s hand and he was startled by her sudden touch. But, the moment he realized it was her, he let out a deep breath and wrapped her up in a tight hug. “Hey. Let’s go talk, okay?” She suggested, rubbing his back. He nodded his head, but didn’t move from the spot or lessen his hold on. She squirmed a little bit and said politely, “Oxygen, Gray Eyes..” He let up and rushed out of the room. Grace followed and watched him flop on the bed and cover his face with his fists. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“We’ve been doing SO well…” He said, shaking his head.

“We have.” So, this is something that he did wrong? “And the only way that we continue doing well is to be open and caring with each other.” He slicked back the wild hairs that weren’t pulled into his ponytail. He appeared to be in a lot of pain, but she had to get whatever this was settled. “Should I go online? Will I see what happened, if I do?” She pulled out her phone, mumbling, “I’m guessing that’s why Hazel’s stuff was confiscate-” He snatched the phone from her hands and she let out a yelp, both at the audacity and the fact that she didn’t even see him get up.

“No. I have to tell you. You can’t find out on the Internet. SHE can’t get on. She CAN’T!”

“Why can’t she? Because, she’s pretty pissed and it IS her screen time…”

“Because, the internet is relentless and unkind, and she’s too young to have to deal with how much. Not today. She’ll… I’ll… give her extra time once it's died down.”

“Tell me what’s going on, Simon.”

He frowned, “Someone brought the tape up.” At first, she was confused. Was this something about the movie? Why would he be so upset as to take Hazel’s… “And it’s recirculating again. I’ve been reporting it and fans have been reporting it and it gets taken down, but more and more people have seen it now and it’s just… too much. I don’t want her to run into it…” NOW, she understood. That tape… which… technically… it was done with a webcam, so it was never a tape, it was a recording, but… “I saw it again… not watched it, but you know, saw a portion of it whenever I was reporting it… God…” He sat down on the bed, “You’re a kid, Grace. You had the rounded face and everything…”

“Ummm… You’re a month and a day older than me, Dude.” she said, sitting down, trying to pretend that she was more calm than her heart was allowing. She could barely breathe, thinking about the feelings that just mentioning that used to bring up for her. She wasn’t sure how she might react to seeing it come up somewhere. But, maybe she should try…

She gently took her phone back, despite his struggling. One stern look and he let it go, realizing that she was determined and he was probably already in a lot of trouble, if something had been triggered. She nodded, “Yep, looks like a few people have tagged me, asking me if I saw that somebody posted it…” She went to the video and he clenched the bedspread, moving his legs uncontrollably and looking straight ahead. “You know, a lot of people used to say that you couldn’t see your face in it, that it was out of frame, but it does come into frame a few times…” she said. She paused, “See?” He shook his head. “Simon, you’re not even gonna indulge me a little bit at a time like this?”

His frown deepened and he took another long breath. She was right. SHE was the victim in this. The least he could do was take a look at his disgusting handiwork. He saw himself and he recoiled. “You were a kid, too,” she said. “Sure, at the time, this hurt more than anything my brain can recall. But… I do know, as a grown ass woman, you were wrong and also were a child. Both of those things can be accurate.”

“We’re only a few years older than Hazel, there. If some kid did something like this to her… I would…”

“I would hope that you’d remember that you were their age once and just as bad.”

“Is… is that how you would react?”

“Oh, hell no. I’ve never done anything like this. I’d kill that fucking kid. But, you would have to be the adult that fucking pulls me off of him…” She laughed and scratched at his beard, “But, nothing like this will happen to Hazel. She’s a good judge of character and we know all of her friends.”

“Your parents knew me too, and I think that they’re pretty good judges of character. Your mom at least. She always knew that I was rotten.”

“No she didn’t! She knew that you weren’t rich, and in her head those two things were the same thing. She knew that you were controlling, and she thought that I was going to sacrifice myself for you, but she didn’t think that you were going to straight up try to assassinate my entire character.” He looked away from her, “And NOW, you are very diligent in making sure that you aren’t crossing any lines, with me and with Hazel, my mother, my father, and I think people in general. This wasn’t long enough ago that it’s not hurtful to think about… but it was long enough ago to not beat yourself up over. But… It is a burden that you designed. So, it’s only right that you explain to Hazel exactly why she shouldn’t be online right now.”

Hazel took it so much better than she had taken him taking away her computer and phone. “Are you serious? I’ll just avoid social media. You KNOW I don’t wanna see anything like that, myself, but I already knew that it existed out there somewhere.” She shook her head, “I don’t like the way you look with clothes ON, think I’d run the risk of seeing you without them?”

Grace suggested, “Is there anything else you want to say to him? Maybe about how you broke the news to me when I got home?”

“Oh..” Hazel flared her nostrils and rolled her eyes, “Sorry I called you Mom’s Boy Toy… You kinda are, but I shouldn’t say it…”

Simon laughed, mostly because he was relieved that she wasn’t scarred by him having to talk to her about this video resurfacing. “You kidding? I’m gonna put that on a t-shirt.”

“No cap? Because I have SO many where that came from.”

“We’ve gotta brainstorm.”

“Simpsona T-shirts can be your new thing…” And just like that, Grace watched them be best friends again. Hazel could get mad and stay mad for a long time, but she didn’t like to argue, so even whenever she got mad, she tended to stay to herself until she wasn’t. The two of them left to go sit on the swing set outside of the house they were renting, and Grace sat by her mom on the couch.

“I don’t even want to know what that was about.”

“Cool, because I wasn’t gonna tell you.”

“You don’t have to. One of your “boy toy’s” fans will.” Grace laughed and then threw her head onto her mom’s shoulder. The woman gasped at first, taken aback by the show of affection, but then placed her hand on Grace’s. “You’re a very good mother to both of them. You’ll be a good one to that one too.” she pointed her free hand at Grace’s belly.

“Did you just…?”

“Come on, you’ve been raising yourself a man since you met him and I’ll stand by that forever. Might get it engraved on my headstone.”

Grace cackled, “I absolutely AM NOT raising him!”

“He is literally a life sized puppy that went through a rebellious phase where he kept biting you!”

“Well, I finally realized that I have the power to curve that behavior… and trust me, Mom… It’s not something you’d do with somebody you’re raising.” Grace stuck her tongue out.

“Get off of me you scoundrel!” Her mother joked. Grace just laughed and held on tighter. The woman put her arm around her. “Are you okay, Darling?”

“Whenever I was hurt or scared as a little girl, I was more afraid of admitting it to you and Daddy. I would be more hurt by the thoughts of how little you would think of me if I openly showed imperfection. Not feeling that way took a long time and a lot of work. So, now, if I have a hard day, I’m not too proud to lay on my mommy and say so.” She looked to gauge her mother’s reaction. She was always speechless whenever Grace got emotional.

She’d never learn past those suppressing ways and it amazed Grace that her mother didn’t realize how much her and Simon were alike in that way. Simon had to work really hard at it and her mother was too proud and pampered to put in such effort. But, whenever Grace booped her nose, the woman’s eyes flickered amusement, ever so slightly. Now, she pushed Grace off of herself and opened her arms to receive Montanus. “Take a photograph of me with my children,” She told the nanny. “One with the two human ones, then we’ll add the new fur baby…”

She still hadn’t made any announcements about her status with Simon, nor had she spoken about her pregnancy outside of the maternity blog by the time Valentines’ Day rolled around. But, one thing that she did was allow for Simon to share maternity photos. That was her “gift” to him.

There. Were. Tons.

Simon took photos of everything. He had a copy of every ultrasound. He had an electronic journal of every detail that came up. So, whenever he posted the album “Countdown to Ivory’s Arrival,” he had more photos than most of the fans were probably going to look through. Therefore, he left many of them private, with only close friends able to view, and the ones that were public were his favorites of the candids of Grace being pregnant and gorgeous, some of the ones from photoshoots that she would post, and the professional maternity photos that they had taken so far. They took some each trimester, as a family.

The ones at her three month mark were taken in New York, early November (around their anniversary, whenever he was in town. They had fall colors and all three of them were absolutely stunning. Hazel was impressed with how well that Simon cleaned up, so much that whenever he showed her older photos of himself, she thought he was a different person. She had no idea how right about that she was. Simon being both subservient and also a mega diva himself was absolutely salivating every time Grace did something, but also, it was him who insisted, "We have to have a photoshoot each trimester, each with a different theme.” She agreed on the trimesters, but wasn’t feeling the theme part so much. She told him that they could simply have the season be the theme.

They had three changes of outfits for each set. Grace had a gown made much like the one that she had worn to the fall festival in 9th grade (the one that the Idol Princess’ gown was very heavily based on, the one that Simon had taken photos of her in, getting her first beauty deal underway), one that Simon saw her in and immediately began crying. “You’re… gonna ruin the photos,” Hazel told him.

There were candid ones of him crying. Her favorite was one where he was crying, Grace was trying to comfort him and Hazel dropped in front of them, bombing it with a prison pose and her tongue out. She had on a yellow pantsuit with fall leaves in her hair, her signature look being wearing leaves in her hair. Simon’s yellow suit was similar to hers, but way more expensive and the red accents, instead of the orange ones that Hazel elected.

The orange outfits were Hazel in orange overalls, Grace in a romper and Simon in a jumpsuit that Hazel insisted was “the most expensive prison wear in the world.” The red ones were regal matching dress attire, Grace in a two piece dress to show off her belly, Hazel in the same floor length evening gown, but one piece, and Simon in a red suit, made of the same material. Hazel’s hair was down and flowing. Grace’s was gathered up, with most of her afro pulled forward, cascading out of the jeweled red head dress she wore, and Simon’s usually (these days) flowing hair was pulled into a ponytail, with the undercut showing. He was generally self conscious about it, but Hazel put little red jewels over his scar, so even though he was still anxious about his hair, he was proud of her accessorizing enough that he wanted to confidently show it off.

The six month ones were taken in January, and done in all white, which Hazel said, “Looks fabulous on mom and me, but you look like the abominable snowman,” to Simon, on the day of. They were in California by that time, but took a little trip to the mountains because the Monroes had property there that Simon remembered had beautiful scenery that he wanted to have family photos at.

They did all white shots and winter blues.

Whenever Simon posted them on Valentines’ Day, Hazel joked in the comments, “I still say that we need to crop your face out.”

People loved the maternity photos, noticed that Grace did NOT have any on her page and she didn’t comment or react to any on Simon’s page. (Yes, these people pay entirely too much attention to the lives of celebrities that they didn’t even KNOW), but someone did some investigating and found Grace’s pregnancy blog. So… even though that was mostly a completely different following, others stormed into the space, thinking that FINALLY, some place where Grace has actually been interacting and will interact with us. She literally ignored anybody that wasn’t asking about helpful tips for their own pregnancy or giving her helpful tips and the title changed from, “Grace in Maternity” to “Y’all Can See This is a Mommy Blog, Right?”

A few people were seething, but funny enough, Grace’s faithful mommy following were more along the lines of, “Wait… You’re FAMOUS, Monroe Mommy???” After that, she had a hoard of moms check out her other life. She enjoyed having more of them in her fan base, though she also had a lot of ones who had always known being like, “Y’all seriously didn’t know Grace Monroe?” and her favorite quote ever on that blog, “Hell, her album is the reason I AM pregnant!!!”

Meanwhile, Simon had been less likely to play around with any of the fans ever since the video thing. He’d made that very clear, and then sort of stopped interacting with them. He didn’t even go through to like people’s comments anymore. Some of them would say things like, “Whoever resurfaced that video, if we find you, it's on sight for making Simon hate speaking with us!”

Sometimes a person would “Lol” and contend, “He’s too busy working on the Esmoroth movie. He’s not here because of the movie not some fuzzy sex tape from years ago.”

Those were the only ones that he’d respond to just to say, “No, they’re right,” and nothing else.

He wasn’t as busy on the Esmoroth movie as he intended to be. He was working on more tech and models for the movie than any other movie things. For one thing, the script was being adapted, and casting was hard. The casting director wanted to get a different type for the Idol Princess, but Simon was extremely firm and clear that the Idol Princess HAD to look exactly as described in the book. “There are parts of the story that are directly related to her looking the way that she does.”

“We can adjust those parts,” the director had said, hoping to appease him.

“The Idol Princess looks like my childhood best friend. Her look is non negotiable,” he had told them. They didn’t believe in non negotiable, apparently, because the girls that were being considered were all much too light. Whenever Simon had rejected them all, they informed him of those girls’ filmographies and their agents and other people said agents represented.. “Maybe they have that type of record because people are hiring them for roles that were meant to be for someone else. Just… give me all of the call sheets for girl characters who auditioned.”

He went through and disqualified half on looks alone (not to say that they weren’t pretty children or whatever, but they didn’t look like the Idol Princess). Whenever he had the stack of dark skin girls, he went through, checking their filmographies and auditions.

He asked Hazel for her opinion and she suggested a name that he recognized from his rejected stack. He pulled it back up and looked at the light skinned girl in the photo, "Do you mean this girl, Hazel?" He wondered.

"Yes! She's a really good actress!"

He furrowed his eyebrows and pointed out, "But she doesn't look like the Idol Princess. The Idol Princess has dark brown skin, tightly coiled hair, full nose and lips, and dark brown eyes. This girl has none of those things."

Hazel shrugged her shoulders, "She's really good though."

"Well… maybe some of these other girls are really good and people just don't want to see them in stuff like this."

Hazel frowned and she asked, "Are you accusing me of favoring her because she's got features like mine?"

"No. I'm just saying that she doesn't look the part. You're usually really good about that kind of thing, Haze."

"Well… I don't know anybody in the age range that looks like the description of the Idol Princess." She folded her arms, "But like you said, maybe that's because people take the easy way out and just get the pretty Black girl that they know of to play a part instead of being true to characters. I've definitely read more books with dark skinned girls than I've seen in movies…"

"Here are some of my choices," he said and spread the sheets out before her. "I think this one has the look, but I think this one had a better audition. BUT, she was auditioning for a background character and this one was auditioning for the Wicked Heiress. Maybe she just didn't have that role in her and should audition for the Idol Princess, so we can know for sure.."

"I think that maybe they should all audition for the Idol Princess again. What if they just didn't believe it would be realistic that they'd get offered a job like this, especially if bigger stars are being considered? Sometimes, I have to talk kids into auditioning for our productions because they're worried that the same actors will win out anyway."

He gave her a side smile, "I think you're onto something, Haze."

Hazel sent out the invites for Grace’s baby shower. Unfortunately, all of Grace’s friends lived elsewhere, so it would be an expensive trip. Fortunately, they had money, so the Monroes could foot the bill for everyone who didn’t just have the means to travel across country for an event.

Meta flew in with Damita from New York the previous week, but he made some business plans to collab with a Cali artist that week, so he was working, as well. Meanwhile, Damita and Grace were spending the week reconnecting and chilling. Shana and Iza came in from Atlanta the night before. Gharrisahn was already in LA for work, so she would swing by the day of. Grace’s parents arranged for Mikayla and Tulip to come down. They were in coach on the same flight that Lucy’s and Lindsay’s moms and they were in first class, so they’d all meet the driver upon landing.

Hazel had on a headset, along with Simon’s assistant and Grace’s assistant, because Hazel had arranged the shower and she wanted to make sure that things went how she meant for them to.

Grace was in a custom made gown that was inspired by Book 3 of Esmoroth and Simon had been at her side simply staring at her for the entire time she had it on. It had been a surprise. A very nice one that he apparently loved. She hired the costume designer for the movie to make her several pieces, but this one was like the one that the Idol Princess resurrects in. Grace was now hip to the lore enough, mainly from paying attention to Hazel’s ravings, and her and Simon’s movie chat.

For the most part, Grace didn’t want to have a shower. All of her friends lived elsewhere, the baby was due sort of close to Hazel’s birthday and she still wanted Hazel to be able to have a party - which she doubted would be able to happen if she waited until after they were born, so she wanted to have Hazel’s birthday party, INSTEAD of a shower and Hazel said, “How about you just worry about slaying everybody in your peak perfection pregnancy, and I’ll take care of the shower?”

With the financial backing of GlamMother, her dad’s big brain, and her own penchant for moments and aesthetics, Hazel tended to be very good at making things come together. She even produced some choreography (Doereography, as she called her pieces), for her and her mother to perform, because, yes, Grace was good and swollen by May, but she also could still do mostly everything that she was doing before with that additional bundle. It did throw her balance off a little and she couldn’t lift Hazel at the moment, but she kept up with every step of the Irish step dancing that Hazel put into the choreo, and she absolutely could still nail every Haitian movement. Hazel wanted to make a birthday choreo with ties to her heritage, and Grace was always very supportive of her doing anything that made her feel connected to her identity.

For good measure, Hazel looked up cultures from Grace and Simon’s heritages too. She was most accustomed to American jazz/hip hop and ballet. She started at 6, with Grace and when they were apart, Grace used to make instructional videos and post them just for Hazel. Whenever she was 10, she started to tap, and all of the other things in between, she and Grace perfected, and whenever she really wanted to nail something, they’d call in a world class trainer.

Hazel felt that a world class trainer was needed for the baby shower. Grace very much so disagreed. So, Hazel got her grandmother to get them. “Next time, simply come to me first,” the woman had said.

Hazel opened up with one of her raps. Her mom’s friends (as always) got their entire lives whenever she would flow - which was possibly the reason that she honed her talent, if she thought about it - and even Simon would be into the groove with things. He didn’t have the best rhythm, but he certainly always looked way taken up with her talent. Grace bouncing around with a round belly was everything in the world to Hazel, and when she was done, she waddled over to hug her.

They played games, did some traditional shower things and some new things too, that Hazel consulted with celebrity event planners for. When it was time for gifts, Grace froze, looking at the way that everything flowed. It was like her 16th birthday again and she felt like she might have a panic attack. “Grace… It’s okay,” Simon said. She looked at him on the other side of the tete a tete and he smiled, “I learned my lesson. This is straight up simply tribute.” He kissed her on the forehead and she calmed down to receive gifts and cry about everything, but manage to not look ugly doing so, because no matter how comfortable she had gotten over the years, that was still engrained in her as a huge no-no.

Winding down from the party, she found Hazel and her friends at the photo booth, having switched out their baby shower outfits for their birthday party outfits. “Where’s Simon?”

“Bullying people about their gifts,” Hazel said nonchalantly.

“Oh God…” Grace raced over and smiled, “Hey… what’s uh… what’s going on?”

Mrs. Monroe stood behind Simon with her arms folded and Mr. Laurent was in front of them. Simon answered, “Well, I’m giving people things back that went against the specifications for the list.”

“I don’t remember making specifications for the list.”

“You wouldn’t, because you didn’t, I did. You aren’t particularly great at meticulous things and you don’t pay attention whenever I’m telling you plans like these,” Simon said.

“We’re not gonna send a gift back with the person who gave it to us.”

“What are we gonna do, donate it to charity? Because I am not putting this together for our baby. This company uses…”

“Thank you, Mr. Laurent. Thank you for coming and thank you for this gift.” She gave the man a pat on the hand and smiled at Simon. He was still frowning, along with her mother. “You’re backing him up, now?” She got flashbacks of whenever they used to gang up on her and she was very salty that she had to defend MR. LAURENT of all people against the devastating team and Simon and her mother could be.

“He specifically said nothing from that company ON THE LIST,” her mom said, beginning a tirade against this man, with her and Simon taking turns on letting him know exactly how he’d fucked up.

“Their product is cheap and substandard.”

“They’ve decimated the supply of the people in the area they harness things from TO make cheap product.”

“And they use slave labor!”

“Child slaves.”

“OKAY! Okay… That’s a good company to boycott. But hear me out… Mr. Laurent is a simple man who shops at like three places and definitely doesn’t look up things like that,” Grace said.

To which Simon and Mrs. Monroe both reminded her, (loudly) “It was on the list!”

“I made it clear which companies we weren’t accepting gifts from!”

“It’s already bought.” Simon was going to continue complaining, but Grace took his hands and placed them on her belly and he immediately softened up and stared at it. “This is the most important thing, right?”

He looked up at her and cupped her face, shifting himself to touch foreheads with her. Hazel appeared out of nowhere to bomb the photo that they weren’t even expecting Lucy to take.

“Wait, that was it?” Grace wondered. Let’s be clear… she did go through a lot of pain and it was a tough time in the birthing house, even with Simon right beside her and Hazel, her mother and her best friend nearby. But… it felt like there should be something else happening or that something was missing, that she had neglected something, or like something didn’t happen that was supposed to.

She supposed that she had simply set her expectations so deeply into the thought of pain, struggle, blood, sweat and tears, that when it came… her imagination had actually run wild. Simon had kept telling her she was doing well and how he was proud of her and other affirmations. He was holding the baby now while she was being cleaned up.

“Did everything happen?” Grace asked.

Hazel went over the checklist with her. Yes. Everything happened. “Did I pass out?” No. She was awake. She was there for every grueling minute. It just was a different experience for her than what her mother described, than what she read and interpreted.

The professionals explained to her how her birthing went relatively well, what to do next, etc. Charlotte, from the center, even talked to her about how it’s not only different for everyone, but how all four of her own pregnancies and births were different from the last. Grace was expecting something terrible to happen within the first few days, just because it didn’t seem like everything had happened! The paranoia died down on day 3 and she simply was back to cuddling with her new baby.

They looked like her, so far. Hazel made them a stuffie of a potato in a diaper… the baby just looked like a potato. She didn’t know how else to express that. Simon worshipped them. He was constantly holding them whenever Grace wasn’t. He was close by whenever she fed them. He took so many photos on his phone that within days, he surpassed all of the ones he had of Monty from the past several months.

NONE of those were going online any time soon. Grace had only posted a few days after giving birth her experience with having done so. She bounced back so quickly and looked so effortlessly beautiful that some people were claiming that she had been trolling and was never actually pregnant. She found that funny, but it also was her cue to duck away from the Internet for a while again.

The first month of Ivory’s life, they were for the most part a quiet baby. Simon frequently worried that something was wrong, checking, rechecking, then coming back and checking again that they were breathing, awake, happy, etc. Grace was more like, “You’re so gross. Look at you! Drooling all over everything. Little slobbery monster!” She spoke in a high pitched voice that made Ivory smile and kick their little legs around.

“GRACE! Don’t say that!” Simon insisted. “You’re gonna make them feel bad.”

“No way! Ivory’s a tough little cookie, like their Mama. I gonna bite you, Cookie! Mama gonna bite you!” Then she playfully nibbled at their feet and hands.

Simon studied the baby for a while and determined, “They seem to be enjoying it.” He would then relax a little.

Hazel was the only person allowed to post photos of Ivory, and comments were always closed. The first one was on Hazel’s birthday. She was in a sundress, tanned a little more than usual and Ivory and she had on matching rompers and sunhats. “Ivory came 13 days before my 13th year. They really said, “I’ma be 13 too, Sis.” Look at them. Tiny. Tiny Potato. Sis has your back for life. #taurustribe #jk #idcboutthat #MonroeSibs #Doetography #HouseLaurent

And there it was. All that anyone needed to see. You honestly couldn’t tell what the baby looked like, but how could anybody doubt Hazel’s hashtag “House Laurent?”

Simon sort of liked having a private family. He wasn’t sure why he had been so eager to have people acknowledge things before. Even one year ago, he needed for somebody, anybody to know that he slept in the same bed with Grace Monroe. He needed for her to say “I love you.” He needed to hear Hazel call him “dad.” He still loved those things, but he had everything he could have ever wanted… it just looked different than he thought it would.

Why did he want to “take care of” Grace for so long? She was caoable of taking care of herself, probably better than he was of himself. She had talents (was ALREADY back to working on new dances with Hazel and new music), qualities… God… that smile made him weak… She had several other things too, but if he sat there making a list, he’d be there for a while, and he COULDN’T be there for a while, because Ivory was six weeks old and Grace told him that he could take them with him to work.

He began strapping the baby into the stroller… “Are you… where are you trying to take my baby?” Grace asked.

“My calendar says that they’re six weeks old. I can take them to work with me.”

Grace put her hands on her hips and Simon frowned. “You said it. I have a recording of you saying it.”

“Well, I said that we shouldn’t take them anywhere before six weeks…”

“And I set my calendar,” Simon completed the thought and pulled the diaper bag onto his shoulder. “Abigail is bringing Monty, so they’ll have a play date.”

“Oh, she is?” Grace asked, toweling herself down. “Hold on. I’m coming.”

“Grace, I’m gonna be late!”

“I’m not letting you go be a Daddy sized snack with TWO cute babies on you with a cute, perfect bodied nanny with no friends!”

“I don’t think she’s all that cute and I have no idea what her body looks like!”

“It doesn’t look like she pushed a baby out of it six weeks ago!”

“NEITHER DOES YOURS!”

She came into the room, changed up and smiling, “Awww. That’s so sweet.”

“How did you?” She looked perfect. She looked perfect and she couldn’t have taken any longer than five minutes. And she thought she had anything to worry about? But, he wasn’t complaining. If he had Grace and the baby around, that was just better, all around.

“I’m staying here,” Hazel told them and continued dancing in the mirror.

Grace was standing on the scooter, with Simon behind her, sporadically kissing her on the neck every now and then, making her smile and gush. Whenever they pulled into the studio Simon took the baby out, which Grace noticed was wearing an oversized heather gray, “Proof he got lucky with Grace Monroe” onesie. “Simon! What did you…?” She gasped and saw that he had a shirt, the same color that read, “I got lucky with Grace Monroe.”

“In my defense, you weren’t supposed to be here today!” Simon told her.

“How many shirts and onesie sets did you buy?”

“Not a lot. I bought WAY MORE t-shirts than I did onesies.” She fell behind a little and the back of that man’s shirt said “Grace’s Babydaddy.”

“Simon…”

“In my defense… You were right there whenever I walked out of the house wearing it.” She laughed. “It’s just in the studio. I’m working on some mechanics. There’s not gonna be cameras on me or anything.” She was still pouting. “I know that you’re super secretive, but I’m sure that most of the people who give a damn about what we do already know that this is indeed my baby…”

“It’s not that.”

“Well, what is it?”

“Ugh. I wanted to do this whole reveal thing for you on Sunday! I was gonna make this long, sweet post and open my comments and EVERYTHING. Now, I feel like it won’t have the same effect…” His eyes were already all watery, just from her THINKING about doing so.

“Sunday is Father’s Day…”

“Yeah. I can keep my own secrets. Not tell people about my pregnancy or who I bone or how I share time with my daughter or whatever, but I didn’t plan on making you stay in the shadows of my spotlight for the rest of our lives, especially when it comes to this. You’ve been an immense pain in the ass, but you’re a wonderful father and I figured it’d be a good… coming out of sorts for me to acknowledge that on that day.”

He cradled Ivory closely, “You can still do that.”

“Well, you’ve announced it all over your clothes and also… I just told you the entire plan!”

“I love knowing plans!” Simon said. “Here.” He took off the shirt and threw on his hoodie, which it was too hot for and then they changed the baby’s onesie too. “I sort of want to eat it up whenever people actually find out from you that I am indeed, who you bone.” She laughed. “This is the best spoiled surprise that I’ve ever had!”

“Well… I didn’t tell you ALL my plans, so there’s still stuff to look forward to.”

“Yeah?” He asked, casually as they walked inside.

“Mmm hmm.”

“Can I have a hint?”

“Something that starts with the letter P.” Simon turned red and she smiled brightly.

“Uh. Didn’t put THAT on your calendar, did you?”

His lip dropped, “I DIDN'T!” He frowned, “In my defense… we don’t really do that enough for it to have been something I was counting down to.” He smirked, “But every time we do…” He raised his eyebrows and smiled at her. She bit her lip and shook her head, “Nope. Sunday. You aren’t gonna beard break me, Mr. Laurent.”

#If They Didn't Get on the Train #AU Infinity Train #Infinity Train #Nesha Fanfiction #Infinity Train Fanfiction #fics

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