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#this actually had originated as me being like i don't think i can just Remove that because esp s1 how linked he is
lingeringscars · 7 months
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Nats story is very linked to travis, and no matter what she is always going to have love for him. That love is mixed with grief and need, though, and they're never going to have a healthy relationship. They feel like they owe a debt to each other because of everything that they have been through with each other, and the sacrifices that have been made in the name of their love (namely, javi). They understand each other, and nat does feel connected to him in a way that she doesn't the rest of the team. She sees through some of that fragile, toxic exterior to the guy that is trying to be something he isn't. And she really, really loves the guy he is, but she can understand letting rage eat you inside. She can understand lashing out. She can understand feeling emotions so large that you feel like exploding. And she knows what it's like to feel like you don't belong and aren't wanted in your family and how you carry that even when you don't want to. She saw travis climb up the tree for his dad, and she knew this was someone that she would understand, and maybe more importantly and definitely scarier, someone who would also understand her.
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FYI artists and writers: some info regarding tumblr's new "third-party sharing" (aka selling your content to OpenAI and Midjourney)
You may have already seen the post by @staff regarding third-party sharing and how to opt out. You may have also already seen various news articles discussing the matter.
But here's a little further clarity re some questions I had, and you may too. Caveat: Not all of this is on official tumblr pages, so it's possible things may change.
(1) "I heard they already have access to my data and it doesn't really matter if I opt out"
From the 404 article:
A new FAQ section we reviewed is titled “What happens when you opt out?” states “If you opt out from the start, we will block crawlers from accessing your content by adding your site on a disallowed list. If you change your mind later, we also plan to update any partners about people who newly opt-out and ask that their content be removed from past sources and future training.”
So please, go click that opt-out button.
(2) Some future user: "I've been away from tumblr for months, and I just heard about all this. I didn't opt out before, so does it make a difference anymore?"
Another internal document shows that, on February 23, an employee asked in a staff-only thread, “Do we have assurances that if a user opts out of their data being shared with third parties that our existing data partners will be notified of such a change and remove their data?” Andrew Spittle, Automattic’s head of AI replied: “We will notify existing partners on a regular basis about anyone who's opted out since the last time we provided a list. I want this to be an ongoing process where we regularly advocate for past content to be excluded based on current preferences. We will ask that content be deleted and removed from any future training runs. I believe partners will honor this based on our conversations with them to this point. I don't think they gain much overall by retaining it.”
It should make a difference! Go click that button.
(3) "I opted out, but my art posts have been reblogged by so many people, and I don't know if they all opted out. What does that mean for my stuff?"
This answer is actually on the support page for the toggle:
This option will prevent your blog's content, even when reblogged, from being shared with our licensed network of content and research partners, including those that train AI models.
And some further clarification by the COO and a product manager:
zingring: A couple people from work have reached out to let me know that yes, it applies to reblogs of "don't scrape" content. If you opt out, your content is opted out, even in reblog form. cyle: yep, for reblogs, we're taking it so far as "if anybody in the reblog trail has opted out, all of the content in that reblog will be opted out", when a reblog could be scraped/shared.
So not only your reblogged posts, but anyone who contributed in a reblog (such as posts where someone has been inspired to draw fanart of the OP) will presumably be protected by your opt-out. (A good reason to opt out even if you yourself are not a creator.)
Furthermore, if you the OP were offline and didn't know about the opt-out, if someone contributed to a reblog and they are opted out, then your original work is also protected. (Which makes it very tempting to contribute "scrapeable content" now whenever I reblog from an abandoned/disused blog...)
(4) "What about deleted blogs? They can't opt out!"
I was told by someone (not official) that he read "deleted blogs are all opted-out by default". However, he didn't recall the source, and I can't find it, so I can't guarantee that info. If I get more details - like if/when tumblr puts up that FAQ as reported in the 404 article - I will add it here as soon as I can.
Edit, tumblr has updated their help page for the option to opt-out of third-party sharing! It now states:
The content which will not be shared with our licensed network of content and research partners, including those that train AI models, includes: • Posts and reblogs of posts from blogs who have enabled the "Prevent third-party sharing" option. • Posts and reblogs of posts from deleted blogs. • Posts and reblogs of posts from password-protected blogs. • Posts and reblogs of posts from explicit blogs. • Posts and reblogs of posts from suspended/deactivated blogs. • Private posts. • Drafts. • Messages. • Asks and submissions which have not been publicly posted. • Post+ subscriber-only posts. • Explicit posts.
So no need to worry about your old deleted blogs that still have reblogs floating around. *\o/*
But for your existing blogs, please use the opt out option. And a reminder of how to opt out, under the cut:
The opt-out toggle is in Blog Settings, and please note you need to do it for each one of your blogs / sideblogs.
On dashboard, the toggle is at https://www.tumblr.com/settings/blog/blogname [replace "blogname" as applicable] down by Visibility:
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For mobile, you need the most recent update of the app. (Android version 33.4.1.100, iOs version 33.4.) Then go to your blog tab (the little person icon), and then the gear icon for Settings, then click Visibility.
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Again, if you have a sideblog, go back to the blog tab, switch to it, and go to settings again. Repeat as necessary.
If you do not have access to the newest version of the app for whatever reason, you can also log into tumblr in your mobile browser. Same URL as per desktop above, same location.
Note you do not need to change settings in both desktop and the app, just one is fine.
I hope this helps!
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doctorbeth · 1 year
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Jigsaw Teddy Bear
It's been a while since I've posted about a jigsaw puzzle patient, and I just sent one home, so I thought I'd share his story today. :-)
Mr Theodore E. Bear, known as Teddy to his friends, was not feeling well. Teddy's person wrote:
When I was born, my father bought me my first (and only) teddy bear.  That was 66 years ago.  Sadly, our new pup tore it up.  I cannot describe my heart break.  I lost my dad in 1999 and this was the only personal thing I had left from him.
Could I please get an estimate on fixing him?
I would so appreciate your efforts. 
This is the photo she sent of her Teddy:
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She actually had both eyes, and the tears were pretty clean, but Teddy had lost a significant percentage of his head and front body. We agreed on a treatment plan to include a spa (thereby removing Puppy saliva), and he flew to the hospital from Arizona.
When patients are in pieces like this, spa photos can be a bit... disturbing, so I don't send them. Suffice it to say that given his age, the surviving cream and brown parts needed to be separated to be safely cleaned, and I kept his googly eyes out of the water.
Once he was dry, surgery proceeded. It's a bit complicated when you aren't sure what his original shape was. I sent this photo I found online to ask if it perhaps looked like him:
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It was so close, his person thought it WAS him at first! But there were issues I could see with this sample. For instance, when teddy arrived one eye was on cream fur. So using this as a guide, but keeping that in mind, I went about putting him back together. There's a fur whose reverse side is a really close match for older, well loved bears like him, and I used that for the darker brown areas. For the missing cream areas (which were really more of a yellow) I used a smooth minky fur.
Here was the first set of photos of Teddy:
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Well, it turned out that despite the eyes being on yellow cream on arrival, his person remembered them on brown. That memory is what is important, so that part of his face needed to be adjusted. Also, the head and muzzle were a little too big, as was the nose... but his body was looking good!
Here's the next set of photos (without the nose on... it'd go on once we got the muzzle size/shape right).
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That was right! And then there was the new nose, which was embroidered:
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All set! His person wrote:
Love it!
Thank you!  
He’s perfect!
Oh, and lest you think I forgot his heart of original stuffing, he did get it, it just goes in at a different time with jigsaw animals that need lots of adjustment. Here it is being made and installed:
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Teddy made it home safe and sound. His person wrote: Thank you so much!  You saved him and a huge piece of my heart! Teddy is HOME!  He’s wonderful and I so appreciate your hard work!
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averagelivingbeings · 2 months
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Creepy Roommate Dan Heng
Note: This was originally intended to be a thirst and it also sat around for a while. I won’t cross-post that to ao3 either.
Top amab Reader x Bottom afab Dan Heng
Word Count: 1721
Tags: PWP, Stalking, dub-con, obsessive behavior, implied size difference, big dick, masochism, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, slapping
As Dan Heng’s roommate you’re generally being avoided, but that's fine, cause you can respect his privacy, but you have no idea that he's a hypersexual pervert behind the doors and that you have caught his eye. He regularly takes pictures of you without you noticing and has a huge folder full of them on his laptop. He even started installing a hidden camera in the bathroom to get nudes of you and bought himself various toys in your size to masturbate to his photo collection. Dan Heng would love to have you fill him up and pound him into oblivion, but he also has way too much pride to ever admit that you're the core of his sexual fantasies.
Until someday he forgot to remove the hidden camera in the bathroom and you happen to find it by accident behind the decorative plant. When you asked Dan Heng about it, he only claimed that it was his, but that he had lost it recently. He just thanked you and hastily took it, before shooing you out of his room. That aloof and rather cold behaviour is nothing unusual for Dan Heng, but the way his cheeks were slightly flushed was strange to you and just out of curiosity, you started to investigate that mysterious roommate of yours.
Apart from his extensive sex toy collection, most of your findings were rather humble and inconspicuous, but one day, you're lucky that he forgets to turn off his laptop on his desk before leaving. You feel a bit bad, but decide to scroll through it a little bit, until you find the thick folder full of your pictures.
There are so many, you can't even remember most of the moments they were taken at and Dan Heng had even kept the bad and blurry ones. Some were zoomed in on particular body parts like your forearms, your thighs or your chest and others were even taken when you were sleeping. You even found ones from the fucking gym locker rooms and the beach sometimes even staring dumbly into the camera as if unaware of any pictures being taken.
But if that wasn't already creepy enough, you find the bathroom videos. Hours upon hours of footage of you stripping, showering, bathing or even jacking off quickly. You were so caught up in shock and awe at Dan Heng's collection that you didn't notice him coming back for his laptop.
He was probably as mortified as you were and unlike you he regained his cool fairly soon, striding over and slamming the laptop shut, before trying to hurry out again.
But you couldn’t have that, him running away like a mischievous cat, not after what you've seen.
"Not so fast, Dan Heng" You hissed, as you slammed the door shut in front of him, right as he was about to slink through it. "Don't you owe me an explanation?"
He actually had the guts to look away and cross his arms with a scoff. “Do you need one? Think for yourself.”
“Are you a stalker? A fucking creep for sure, what did you do with those?” Noticing Dan Heng slowly sliding closer to the door, while clutching his bag and laptop, you quickly reached out and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. “Did you sell them on the internet?” Enraged, you lifted him up by his shirt, until your faces were inches away from each other. His cheeks were red now and his breath came in shaky exhales, as he gripped your forearms for support.
“N-No… I didn’t sell them anywhere-!” Dan Heng replied meekly, his entire resolve seeming to crumble to dust between your fingers.
“Really?” You pushed him harder against the wall, his shirt bunching up in your fists and a squeak escaping his lips. “Then why did you take those?”
“I…!” His feet uselessly hit the wall behind him, as he regained his composure and tried to kick you. You didn’t have enough patience left to care though.
“Answer me!” The yell paired with an aggressive shake made Dan Heng flinch and squeak again, the vice grip on your forearms surely bruising your skin.
“O-Okay, I jacked off-! I jacked off to them…” His voice died down, losing its assertive, cool demeanour with every word he spoke, until he just hung in your grip, gaze averted and lips pressed together in a thin line.
“Wow.” You made a face at him, resisting the urge to chuck the man across his room and then out of the window to shatter on the pavement below. “First off, ew, second, you- Mfghh-!” You didn’t get to finish, as a pair of plush, warm lips ate up the insults just as they were about to leave your mouth.
Your brain short-circuited and your grip loosened, nearly dropping your roommate if it wasn’t for him wrapping his arms and legs around you, while kissing you insistently. His tongue easily slipped into your mouth, when you wouldn’t take any initiative and let him devour you.
“Mghhh, I just can’t help it…”, Dan Heng sighed into your ear, as he ground his crotch against the front of your pants, stimulating the slight bulge you had there.
“Freaky pervert…”, you muttered, gripping his hair tightly and squeezing his ass, not resisting, when he started peppering kisses down your neck and shoulders.
“You want me too, mm?” His hand made its way to your dress shirt, slowly starting to unbutton it and slipping inside to massage your pec. It wouldn’t even fit into his palm, but Dan Heng clearly knew what he was doing.
“F-Fuck you-!” Tightening your grip on his ass and waist, you carried him to his small bed and pried him off of yourself to dump him onto it. The wooden frame creaked and the mattress dipped noticeably under your weight, as you settled between his legs.
“Mmghhh.” The laptop and the bag slid to the floor, as Dan Heng arched his back and wrapped his legs around your waist to pull you closer and grope your stomach.
“Hands off, freak.” You slapped his hands away and wrenched his legs off to unbutton his pants and peel them off of him along with his underwear. Discarding them on the floor, you turned your attention to your roommate’s crotch, where a wet, glistening, pink pussy winked at you teasingly.
“Like what you see?”, Dan Heng hummed, pushing his shirt up to stroke the toned expanse of his torso.
“Shut up.” You pressed two fingers to his pussy as if it was his mouth, drawing a delighted moan out of him. The soft, plush lips twitched at your touch and you couldn’t help but slide two your fingers in, marvelling at how much they stretched him out and how he sucked you in. The wet walls hugged your digits tightly and upon feeling your cock twitch in your pants, you slipped your other hand into your pants to take it out and stroke it to its full length.
“Ahh~” Moaning and stretching out languidly, Dan Heng licked his lips upon seeing your length, it being at least as long and thick as his own forearm. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited a moment like this…”
You growled at him in frustration, not that it seemed to deter him, rather the opposite actually, judging by how his cunt tightened like a vice around your fingers. Pulling your pants down enough to free your hard dick in its entirety, you reached out to slide your fingers into his mouth. “You shut up. I won’t put any effort into your enjoyment.”
“Mffghhhh~” His bright, turquoise eyes rolled back, as you thrust your fingers inside to touch the back of his throat. Unsurprisingly, he took it without issues, moaning and sucking on it, while wiggling his hips around.
“Dirty freak…” You yanked your fingers out of his cunt, watching it flutter around nothing, as you grabbed your cock and stroked it to spread his juices on it. Slapping it against his cunt and watching him jolt at every touch, you pushed it inside. Dan Heng groaned in pain, his hole visibly struggling to accommodate your girth.
“Hahhh, so tight and wet…” You pushed your fingers deeper into Dan Heng’s mouth, as you bottomed out and almost immediately started thrusting. “As befitting of a perverted whore like you.”
He only moaned, spreading his legs further and wrapping his lips tighter around your fingers. Your roommate looked nothing like his usual dignified and disciplined self anymore, with his legs spread, stomach heaving as a slight bulge appeared with every thrust and slobbering around your fingers, while he moaned like a slut.
“Tch.” You pulled your fingers out of his mouth, his groans immediately drowning out the wet, sloppy sounds of your hips meeting his ass. His hole undeniably felt good, it was nice and tight and seemed to suck you back in whenever you pulled out. “What did you fantasise about, huh? Did you want your pussy speared open? Fucked until your hole doesn’t close up anymore?”
“Uh-huh-! J-Just use me-!” Dan Heng moaned, tears and lust in his eyes, as he gazed up at your hulking form towering above him.
“Hmp.” Your hand cracked across his face, then over his chest, leaving red handprints where you hit him. “Hate to indulge you, but fine, I guess…” You sped up your thrusts, quickly feeling your orgasm approaching.
“Hahhh, yes, more, m-more!” His hands were wrapped around your forearm by now, unable to close fully around them, as he tried to find some leverage to rock his hips against yours.
“Hngh-!” You slapped his face again, feeling him tighten around you with every hit. “Degenerate-! Nghhh, ahhh~” With a few messy thrusts, you emptied yourself into him. Your load filled him up to the brim, some of it leaking out, as you swiftly pulled out.
“Uhh- Hah-?” Dan Heng blinked, as he watched you wipe your cock clean on his discarded pants, before tucking it away and getting dressed properly. “Huh, wait-!”
“Finger yourself, if you want to come.” Picking up his laptop, you waved it at him, as he glared at you in disbelief and lust. “But I’m taking this. Goodbye, you fucking freak.” With that, you left him to his own devices.
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deadbeat-motel · 7 months
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ᐯᗩGGIE ᗩᑎᗪ ᑕᕼᗩᖇᒪIE ᖇEᗪEᔕIGᑎ
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These two are simpler than the angel dust design I did since I didn't have a lot to go off of. Posted on Valentine's Day because yes I can.
I don't think Charlie is significantly different from her Pilot design because I genuinely think it was the best design from the cast (before the redesign).
Thoughts below, though TW for the creepy charlie image at the end:
My issues with their Original designs:
Vaggie:
The giant "X" over her eye is really distracting and even world-breaking because
1. Why had no one put 2 and 2 together that the only character in Hell who has a visible 'X' mark on her face might be related to the angels who also sport that X mark on their faces.
2. Why is it shaped like an X? Her eye was taken out via a single slash.
3. If the hair's purpose was to cover it, why would it show through it? What's the point of the hair then?
The hair that was supposed to cover that wounded eye looked so ugly and confused as to what it should be doing. I mean every shot that showed that thing in a sideview shot of Vaggie felt like the animators had to make their own guesses as to how that was supposed to look like. It was distracting for me personally and I hated it so much.
It's been said over and over again, but her clothes look like she works at McDonalds. I get needing to change her outfit so that she looks like she works at the hotel, but it's just been poorly designed.
Why change her clothes' colors from white to red? the white helped her stand out from Hell and the Hotel's majority red background. (In the finale, she at least has a non-red attire)
She's also one of the very few women in HH and she falls under the skinny stick side of it despite being an angel exterminator.
Her hair is kind of hard to visualize looking at in any way other than what it is when it's static. However, when it changed into a ponytail or a bob, it's actually really nice to look at.
Unsure of what that bow's purpose is for the design.
Charlie:
Charlie is a simple but very confused design. The pilot design was a lot more coherent than the current show design
It's disappointing to see the bouncy Pilot hair go and be replaced by that boring bubble braid of all things.
Her undershirt peaks out of her tuxedo.... why???? to separate the top jacket and the pants? You wouldn't need to do that if her pants were a different color like the pilot design.
Thought about it and was confused, as a demon with an angelic father, why didn't she have wings as well? She didn't need the 6 wings like Lucifer but maybe a pair of one would appear?
Out of all the characters for the show's redesign, Her's was by far the MOST infuriating to me. Her pilot design wasn't perfect but it was good, they had to downgrade her for some reason.
I didn't have much to say about Charlie. it basically sums up to "the Pilot design was better".
On to the thought process for these two:
Valerie the fallen:
Yes, she got a rename. Sue me.
I had to remove the moth aspect of her design because it doesn't seem like it makes sense for a heaven-born to follow the sinner's rule of "gaining features based on the life you lived" since she basically never lived right?
In this redesign (and eventual rewrite), Valerie is not ashamed of her exterminator background. In fact, she was known as the most recent "fallen" in hell. her short stature doesn't make her less of a threat to the demons.
She's also visually thick with muscle because why not let one of the show's women have a body type that isn't stick-thin?
She's using the wings that were torn off of her as both an interesting article of clothing and as a way to remind others and her that she is (or more accurately 'was') an angel who could kill them if she wanted to.
Her clothes are pure black underneath the pale feathers to show that while she is an "angel", deep down, she is far from a good person.
She's also getting an actual skin color because from what I gathered myself from the show's heaven. Most of the souls there still retain a human appearance (Adam, Lute, St. Peter, and the other random human angels up there still look human..... but just don't mind the fact that most of them are white.)
Her hair is that ponytail she had in the finale because as much as I didn't like that episode, some designs looked actually decent.
Also, her hair actually covers the eye scar properly.
I wanted to keep her ribbon as a splash of brightness on her design but the OG ribbon looks a little out of place on a warrior so It became that (Plus it pays homage to her OG moth influence with its shape looking like the fluffy antennas of the moth)
Gave the spearhead a little bit of detail on it plus a chipped side so that it has a bit of charm as an old weapon she still decides to keep around.
A note about Valerie's design is that I haven't tackled the armor of angels yet so I was unsure of what pieces of the undesigned armor to give Valerie as of now.
Charlie:
I honestly actually enjoyed her Pilot hair, so I tried to put it back and also simplify it a bit so there are not a lot of strands for me to keep track of. Plus it was a genuinely cute design for her. (There's a reason that version was used in the Verbalase video.) <- I'M JOKING
Replaced her button nose with a goat's because a friend has commented how it looked like the noses of the women in a Goofy Movie and I will never be able to unsee that.
Her hair is also a lot brighter compared to her washed-out blonde color.
She has the same design thought process as Valerie, Covering the darkness of her true nature with white fluffy fur which is stylized like feathers at its ends. She has pitch-black skin underneath and looks like a proper nightmarish demon like the image below.
I ditched the tuxedo look, since almost all the cast has a similar outfit already, and gave her a jumpersuit instead. (Idk what it's really called but that's what I think it is). It's a light grey because she's a mix of bad and good (though a bright grey because she prefers to be on the good side)
Her horns are there and visible because yeah it's cute but also helps her read as the half-angel/half-demon character she is.
Tiny goat tail because can you imagine every time Valerie holds the rare angel smile of approval, her tail is visibly wagging in glee and excitement???? My heart would die. I love these lesbians with my life.
Has wings from her father.
Anyways, those are my thoughts and redesigns... I wanted to add more details to them but I didn't really know what to add that didn't feel unnecessary.
Also bonus! Concept art of Charlie's true form:
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beefycupcakes · 27 days
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I watched the Cars trilogy recently and with that came a wave of nostalgia and a strange desire to make my own designs for the cars as humans. Aka taking all the charm out of Cars but scratching the brain itch.
So, no need to drag out the intro any longer, I have some notes written out about em for those who might be interested or just bored.
Lightning McQueen:
I tried to make his suit look as professional as possible, with references pulled straight from McQueen's paint job/stickers, while also keeping in mind that I do intend to draw him more so I didn't want to go too crazy with the design. In a perfect world I would've let my maximalist cravings win, but alas let's keep it digestible for my sanity.
I feel like everyone's kinda on this unspoken agreement that McQueen as a human would pretty much look just like Owen Wilson, and that's the big picture here. I used Wilson as inspiration while tweaking and exaggerating a few things to my preference. (Okay, well not everyone, lmao.)
The chevron markings on the front cut off at the side seams not wrapping around the entire suit as to not clash with the sponsor logo on the back.
Also, he's wearing special gloves to help him grip & have control over the steering wheel. I think sometimes that looks a little weird when his sleeves are down & cuffed, but I just feel like he needs to have the gloves there— especially when he comes out of the top half of the suit. (It's also lowkey supposed to mirror his 4 tires when you consider his shoes are also black.)
So yeah, that's basically all I have to to say regarding Lightning McQueen's page. I feel like a lot of my design choices are self explanatory and, honestly probably shared universally... I mean, he's really cut & dry. (But I love him ⚡︎)
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Mater:
I'm not gonna lie, Mater was a bit challenging for me. I definitely had to step out of my comfort zone but I wanted to stay true to the character and not butcher anything.
My first thought was to give him a fishing pole to substitute for the tow hook— but then the more I was thinking about it, the more that felt so... out of place? Radiator Springs is in Arizona, which is (not entirely, but mostly depicted in the movie as) a desert. And even though there are beautiful bodies of water in Arizona, in the movie I don't recall seeing any prominent ones, at least in relation to Mater. So, scratch that, instead I gave him a lasso, which isn't supposed to entirely substitute for the tow truck— no, he still drives a tow truck, but the lasso is so he can grab people/things similarly to Tow Truck Mater (very cartoony). My explanation for this is the cattle ranch. Yeah, Mater is a tow truck driver but perhaps he has a side hustle, or hobby, if you will.
Also, I didn't want to make him... dirty(??) Like, yeah, of course, Mater would obviously get a bit filthy from time to time, it's just in his nature, but that is NOT going to be the core of my design. In regards to the rust happening on him, I felt like instead I would substitute this with being very tan. Again, Arizona is a desert. Because of this, he would take off his shirt often, and this would substitute for the missing hood like on Tow Truck Mater. The removal of the shirt also reveals just how tan Mater actually is.
It's his uniformed overalls that have his original aqua color, but from years of wear & tear they've been patched up with brown patches, this would also reference the rusting. The one strap is supposed to mimic the one headlight being broken, and I know that's a stretch, believe me, I wanted to do something with his eyes but eyes are not the headlights in the Cars universe..... think about this. Think about it really hard... if you know what the headlights are in the Cars universe then this actually makes perfect sense.
He is taller and wider than McQueen, which is a reference to the literal frame of their vehicle counterparts. (A little hard to picture with these images, but eventually I'll draw them together!)
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That's all I have to say really, but do let me know what you guys think! Gas it up and it might encourage me to make a part 2 with some of the other characters! Who would you like to see next? ♡ Thank you so much for reading & have a great day, Kachow!!
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perseruna · 4 months
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Endiness made a beautiful long post with all his quotes on that topic that I think is very informative and worth looking at, so here’s a link to that. And with that already discussed, I thought I’d make a thread of all his changes that we are aware of, because when you look into them, you find that none of his “book accurate” changes are actually book accurate. 
His decision to make Geralt grunt and cut his lines.
HC: "All the grunts, I either added or I didn't say anything and just grunted instead. It was often up to the other actors to go, 'I think he's not gonna say anything now.'"
JB: "Henry likes to cut his lines, 'cause he's lazy. No, he literally just likes to cut them. He likes to do more up here [frames his face with his hands] and just with face and hmms and grunts. There's a lot of hmms, and so I often have to take a lot of his lines and turn it into a lot of my stuff so that the plot happens."
So, as everyone who has read the books knows that Geralt is and always has been a yapper. Gerakt often talks or thinks in monologues, and definitely not in short grunts.
Of course when the audience started making fun of Geralt for not being able to speak in full sentences Henry promptly went back on admitting the blame and instead said that the big bad writers were the ones who didn't give him lines, and now it was his life’s mission to fight for a book accurate Geralt who speaks. 
Roach’s death scene
After S2 came out, Lauren received a lot of backlash for Roach’s death scene, with multiple sources citing that she wanted the moment to be more “comedic” before the brave Henry Cavill stepped in and refused to participate in such horrible anti source material activities.
LH: "Henry was so unhappy with the line. Finally I said, 'You know what, you come up with something. I trust you, you know this material so well, you know the book so well, you don't even have to pitch it to me.' And he came back the next day with a beautiful speech that's at the end of 'Sword of Destiny' when Geralt is facing death.”
This is the line he ended up using:
“Enjoy your last walk across the meadow and through the mist. Be not afraid of her for she is your friend."
This was Lauren’s response AND the original line.
LH: “Here's what was scripted, in homage of the fact that a previous Roach had existed, and another one will exist soon. It's hardly a joke. Henry wanted a longer, more emotional moment, which I was more than happy to give him. Don't create drama where none exists.”
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So in S2 Geralt ends up quoting a part of his monologue from ‘Sword of Destiny’ when he’s at his lowest after thinking that Yennefer had died at the battle of Sodden Hill, and he has nothing left to live for. Which to me doesn't work that well with Roach at all. That line was a response to Geralt thinking he's lost the love of his life, not his horse. In my opinion, the original line Lauren penned out is more heartfelt and actually more emotional and more book accurate as well.
The absolute removal of any Triss and Geralt “romance”
This one we don’t have that much information on in comparison to others. But there were multiple reports that at the beginning of S2 Triss and Geralt were supposed to have some kind of a romantic scene with each other which then was cut during production, and it was largely speculated that it was due to Henry Cavill. 
“Several months ago we reported on a sex scene happening between Geralt and Triss, sometime in the first half of Season 2. That didn’t happen, as we all saw, but here’s what we know about the original plan for that: Geralt and Triss are in a room together, they seem friendly at first. They are playing some kind of weird game. Whoever wins a round, gets to ask a question. We’re not privy to the exact flow of the conversation, but it eventually leads to both of them ending up in bed. We can only guess why this was cut, but perhaps it was thanks to Henry Cavill.”
Now, irrelevantly on your feelings on book Triss and Geralt you have to admit that that short-lived “romance” is indeed a part of the books and therefor book accurate. So the removal of it would go against Mr I’m fighting to make this show as much book accurate as possible. 
The removal of the Yen and Geralt sex scene in S2
"We just wanted to be very careful that it was true and real, and it didn't turn into something that we, as actors, didn't believe it should be," Cavill stated. When Yennefer and Geralt unite, they embrace, but it doesn't go further than that. He continued: "We wanted it to be emotional rather than sexual. It was really, really important, and we had to lean away from what was originally on the page." Initially, Geralt and Yennefer were written to have a more passionate night. Henry Cavill and Anya Chalotra went to "The Witcher" producers and explained why they thought a steamy evening was not the way to go. "These are people who believe one thing about the fate of another and then find out something else is true," Cavill said about Geralt believing Yennefer was dead. "That's not how they behave," the actor added. "How they behave is they just want to be with the person and emotionally recognize their existence again in that shared space.”
This one is a bit tricky because I am willing to get behind an actor who doesn't want to do a sex scene out of comfort reasons or whatnot, but Henry saying that "That's not how [Yennefer and Geralt] behave”, is quite absurd in my opinion. Because that is very much how Geralt and Yennefer behave, especially in the short stories and ToC. They are inherently a very sexual couple who come crashing in and out of each other’s lives while having very passionate sex. But I can understand wanting this scene to be more “emotional” (as if sex isn't emotional), so this one I am willing to give him a bit more leeway on. (But then again looking at the blinds saying that he refused any sex scenes because oh his “ideals” and was allegedly really nasty to Anya about it, well..)
Geralt being the perfect father figure to Ciri with no flaws and no struggles (which inevitably snowballed into the Yen Betrayal Arc)
This one I don’t see talked that much at all, and to me this one is his most detrimental one. 
@LHissrich: “In interviews, Henry explains how he felt strongly that Geralt NOT be bumbling, nor a struggling father figure. In fact, a lot of S2 is about how Geralt does come from a loving (albeit unconventional) family. Henry was passionate about this shift, and we discussed it a lot, and ultimately thought it was wonderful for his character development. But it also had the domino effect of changing what Ciri needed from Yen when she entered the picture. Thus, introducing the idea of balance.”
So I don’t know about you, but I love when characters have flaws and naturally progress be it for good or bad, some would say that that's what story telling is about, well that someone wouldn't be Henry Cavil. Geralt being a struggling father figure at first, someone who makes mistakes and learns from them and tries is very much a prominent theme in Blood of Elves and is actually very real, people make mistakes! Especially in huge shifts such as “becoming a father overnight’ but we didn't get that because Henry refused to play it that way. What we got is Geralt who already basically knows exactly how to parent, he always knows what to say, what pep talk to give and also doesn't hold any resentment and any negative feelings towards Vesemir at all. It's all one dimensional happy family here! Which goes against not only the books but what he preached about fighting tooth and nail to make the “forgotten” male characters three-dimensional as well because the horrible feminist Lauren only thinks about female characters. 
Lauren then goes on saying that “it also had the domino effect of changing what Ciri needed from Yen when she entered the picture. Thus, introducing the idea of balance” So, it is fair to speculate that Henry’s refusal to showcase Geralt having any flaws at all and act book accurate snowballed into The Controversial Yennefer Betrayal Arc. 
These are the ones that I can remember off the top off my head, so there might be more, there’s probably more that we aren’t even aware of. I think putting them all together showcase a very interesting picture. One of Henry Cavill never actually understanding who Geralt fundamentally is as a character, and of him not being a team player at all. I just hope that more and more people are aware of the insane PR his team did for him when it came to this show, and that more people are able to see through it. 
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captainsophiestark · 4 months
Text
Miscommunication
Kol Mikaelson x Reader
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Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries/The Originals
Summary: You've finally worked up the courage to ask Kol on a date, but with all the people who've been trying to kill him lately, he jumps to the wrong conclusion about what's being asked of him. Set right after TVD "A View To A Kill", if Jeremy didn't succeed in killing Kol.
Word Count: 2,517
Category: Fluff, Humor
Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.
"Hello, love. I wasn't expecting to get a call from you."
I grinned at the voice of the youngest Mikaelson brother coming through the other end of the phone. I'd met him at the Grill a few weeks ago, and we'd pretty much immediately hit it off. I'd been trying to work up the courage to ask him out ever since, and after overhearing his siblings talking about how close he'd come to dying recently, I'd decided to stop wasting time and just give him a call.
"Hi Kol. Uh, I know this is kind of out of the blue, but... well, I wanted to see if you wanted to maybe get together at some point and... talk. Hang out. All that... stuff..."
I grimaced. I'd never done this before, and it was probably painfully obvious, especially to a vampire with a literal thousand years of experience.
"You want to get together and talk?" asked Kol, a lilt to his voice that I couldn't quite decipher. Everything in me screamed that I should bail out, but I grit my teeth and forced myself to toughen up.
"Yeah. If that's something you'd want to do."
"Oh, it very much is." My heart stopped. I'd been sure this call was about to be a total fumble, but apparently, somehow it'd worked? "What did you have in mind?"
"Uh..." I mentally kicked myself. I'd spent so much time trying to work up the nerve to actually call him, I hadn't thought at all about what I would do if he actually said yes. "Well, I don't know. Is there anywhere you'd especially like to meet up? Or anything you'd like to do?"
"How about your house?" The doorbell rang. "Right now?"
My brain short circuited. He was here? Now? I wasn't ready at all! The house was fairly clean, and I didn't look like a total mess, but I also wasn't ready for a date! And wasn't a first date supposed to be about thirty degrees more chill and removed, like a going to a movie or dinner or something?
I forced myself to take a deep breath. Yes, this was technically a first date, but Kol and I had interacted before. We were friendly, maybe even friends. It's not like he was some stranger I was about to let into my home.
"Uh, sure. Now is... now is good. I take it you're the one at my door?"
"Yes I am, darling."
"Okay. Well, then... I guess I'll see you in a second."
I hung up the phone before I could make any more of a fool of myself, paused at the mirror in the hallway to quickly adjust my outfit, then strode confidently to the front door. If I pretended to be confident, it would probably rub off and turn into the real thing, right?
I swung open my door to find a grinning Kol on the other side, one arm raised and resting against the doorframe. My heart did a little backflip at that, and I just hoped his vampire senses hadn't clued him in on it.
"Well? Aren't you going to invite me in?"
"Oh! Right, yeah, come on in, Kol."
He grinned at me as he slowly, deliberately put one foot over the threshold, then the other. He paused once he officially stood in my house, facing me with a look like he expected me to have some kind of reaction. I just gave him a smile.
"Welcome in. Uh, I'll be honest, I wasn't really prepared for you to come over, like, now. But we can make some drinks, maybe play a board game or something? I actually think I have an at-home dart board buried somewhere around here if you want to get your ass kicked like you did the first time we met."
Kol huffed a laugh, a smaller, more genuine smile pulling onto his face as he shook his head at me.
"Well, now we have to play, don't we? I can't let my honor be tarnished without fighting back."
"I think it only counts as tarnishing your honor if it's not true," I mused as I led Kol into the kitchen, incredibly aware of how closely he followed behind me. If vampires could hear heart beats, then I was well and truly screwed.
"Exactly. I didn't get my ass kicked in darts, so what you said wasn't true."
I paused long enough to give Kol a judgey look over my shoulder, then walked around to the cabinets behind the kitchen island.
"Alright, I'll go dig out the dartboard in a minute, but let's figure out drinks first. I'll be honest, I'm not the best bartender, but I'll see what I can do."
"Here, let me. I'm an excellent bartender."
Kol reached for the bottles in my hand, but I paused, holding them slightly away from him. He leaned into me, and my heart did its stupid jumping jacks again, although I ignored it. Instead, I fixed Kol with another look.
"Are you an excellent bartender in the way you're an excellent dart player? Or are you actually an excellent bartender?"
Kol shook his head, an edged smile spread on his face as he reached across me and took the bottles from my hands. I was more than a little disappointed when he pulled away.
"Alright, I'm going to make us some drinks while you go and get that dart board, right now. We're going to settle this, once and for all."
"I'm still not totally sure that I actually have it," I reminded him, walking backwards out of the kitchen. Kol just hummed, shooting me one last look as he got to work on the drinks before I turned the corner.
As soon as I was out of his sight, I paused to take a few deep breaths. I was starting to feel seriously giddy hanging out with him like this, and I needed to calm the hell down. It was a casual first date, after all. I didn't need to get ahead of myself.
Once the butterflies in my chest had settled down a bit, I walked the rest of the way to the hall closet, or what I thought of as my junk closet. It was packed with things that were just useful or sentimental enough that I didn't want to throw them away, but that basically never came in handy on a regular basis. If that dartboard someone had gotten me for my birthday a few years ago was anywhere, it would be here.
I dug through a few boxes I thought might be likely candidates, trying to remember where past me might've put things last time I'd organized everything. Finally, after what felt like way too much searching, I found it at the bottom of a box on a higher shelf. Even better, a bag with all the darts still together was with it.
I grinned, doing a little triumphant fist pump to myself before turning to head out of the closet. In the doorway, however, I found Kol hovering, watching me intently, a menacing air about him that hadn't been there earlier.
"Hey... what are you doing?" I asked. He raised an eyebrow at me and crossed his arms.
"Me? I was about to ask you the same thing, darling. It really took you that long to find the dart board?"
I furrowed my eyebrows at him, watching for any clues as to what the hell he was doing before briefly glancing away to check the time my phone. Honestly, it hadn't even been that long.
"I mean, yes? Have you looked around this closet at all since you got here? It's a mess. How long have you been standing there, anyway?"
"I'm not an idiot, sweetheart," he said instead of answering me, taking another step forward. I narrowed my eyes at him. "I know you're back here messaging your little friends, trying to set up another ambush for me after the first one didn't work. I know how you Mystic Falls people like to operate."
My frown deepened. "Kol, what the hell are you talking about?"
"Don't play innocent with me, darling, it won't work. So who have you been texting?"
"No one, other than you! I knew you were acting weird on the phone, and when you first showed up. I thought my nerves were just getting the better of me, but apparently not."
"Nerves for what? Don't tell me Jeremy's going to come bursting through the door playing Van Helsing again."
"Jeremy who, Kol? Seriously, I have no idea what you're talking about."
For the first time since he'd appeared in the closet doorway, Kol seemed to believe me. His look changed from borderline threatening to almost as confused as my own.
"Jeremy Gilbert."
I paused, trying to place the name. It sounded familiar, but it took me a little while to figure out why.
"That's... Elena Gilbert's little brother? Right?"
"Yes. You're actually trying to tell me you don't know him?"
I scoffed. "Kol, of course I don't know him. I graduated from high school when he was still in middle school. I barely remember him or his sister."
He studied me, eyes scanning my face, apparently looking for some sign of a lie. I just watched him back, waiting on some kind of explanation for this to make sense.
"So you're not working with Elena and her little group of friends, then? Or either of the Salvatores?"
"No, Kol. Working with them on what?"
"You're not lying."
"I know I'm not lying! Now what the hell are you talking about?"
Kol sighed, slumping back against the doorframe a little, the tension easing out of his body although he still looked a little confused. I could relate.
"Elena and Jeremy tried to kill me not too long ago," he said, as if he was saying they'd asked him for directions on the street. "Elena tried to keep me busy by lying about wanting to discuss a truce with me. I assumed this was a terrible second attempt at the same thing."
I sighed, shaking my head and closing my eyes for a beat as I leaned against the shelf behind me. I knew he was a vampire, and I'd even known someone had tried to kill him recently. But somehow, I'd underestimated the level of ridiculous drama and miscommunication that would likely create.
"Yikes. Well... I'm glad you survived, and I can honestly tell you that I'm not a part of any plot to try to kill you. I can't even remember the last time I talked to Elena, and the only time I've ever talked to either of the Salvatores was when Damon was drunk and hit on me at the Grill."
Kol snorted. "Sounds familiar."
"I'm sure."
The two of us stayed put, neither moving to stand up or leave the closet, neither speaking either. The silence just hung, and I had no idea what I was supposed to do next, so it was a relief when Kol leaned forward, the menace in his posture gone and replaced by tentative curiosity.
"You know, this leaves us with a very important question."
"And what's that?"
"If you weren't trying to drive a stake through my heart... why did you call me and ask to meet up?"
And just like that, the relief was replaced with sheer nervous panic.
"Uh... well..."
Kol grinned and took a few steps towards me.
"You said you wanted to get together and talk," he said, a teasing tone to his voice that made my heart speed up at the same time that it made me want to give him a shove. "What exactly did you want to talk about, if not murdering me?"
I shook my head, trying and failing to keep a smile off my face. Kol was well and truly in my space now, standing right in front of me, one arm over my head and leaning against the shelf behind me. Based on the grin he gave me when I met his eyes, I got the feeling he could hear my heart racing.
"I... Well, I was trying to ask you on a date."
"Were you now?" asked Kol, his shit eating grin doubling in size. I huffed.
"Yes. And it took a lot of effort to work up the courage to actually go through with it, so if you're just messing with me right now with the whole leaning into my space and flirting thing, I might actually join Team Try To Kill Kol."
Kol just laughed and shook his head, leaning in a little bit further as he did. I couldn't help a subconscious glance at his lips, and with the way they curled up even further, I knew he'd noticed.
"I'd never dream of messing with you about this, darling. Honestly, this is the best news I've gotten in days. If I hadn't been working to keep a few different people from killing me, I would've asked you out a week ago."
I grinned. "Really?"
"Absolutely."
I huffed a happy, disbelieving laugh as Kol leaned the rest of the way in, his lips finding mine. Fireworks exploded in my chest at the sensation, especially as he wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. My hands found his shoulders, holding on tightly, and when I finally pulled away after a few long, long moments, I was a little breathless and a little dizzy.
"Now that was worth thinking I was about to be vampire-slayed," said Kol, grinning at me before starting to lean in again. I laughed, but put a hand to his chest to stop him.
"I agree, but this is still a first date. I want to actually talk to you and get to know you beyond the few conversations we've had at the Grill, not just make out in my closet."
"You didn't like making out in the closet?"
"I didn't say that." Kol grinned, and I gave him an exasperated smile of my own. "I like this, Kol, a lot. But I could've just kept flirting at you with the Grill if all I wanted was to make out with you. Dates are supposed to be... a little more than that, at least to me."
Kol sighed, bringing his hand up to cup my chin and running his thumb across my lips before stepping back. My heart was doing backflips, and from the smirk on his face, I knew he could tell.
"Alright then, darling. I'll give your version of a date a try. As much as I like making out in closets, it might be nice to just talk to you for a bit, too."
I beamed at him. "Good. Although, it doesn't have to be all talk." I retrieved the dartboard that had been shoved back onto a shelf when Kol had first gotten in my space and held it up. "We have a few things to settle, after all."
"Oh yes we do. Come on love, our drinks are waiting in the kitchen. You're going to need one, so you have something to blame your loss on later tonight."
"Keep talking, Twilight. It's just gonna make it that much sweeter when I win."
****************
Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989
TVD/TO Taglist: @elenavampire21
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python333 · 8 months
Text
soft spot — python333
— — — —
synopsis you've been having a bad day, and ghost feels like being extra nice to you. plot twist you're an age regressor and him being so nice is NOT helping.
relationships platonic agere cg!ghost & gn little!reader.
characters ghost.
word count 6.7k.
warnings a victorious reference, age regressor reader, usage of c/n [call sign/code name], 2nd person pov [you/yours/yourself]
note please feel free to attack me as much as you want if this is inaccurate. i don't even care if it's not constructive criticism. i am begging for everyone's thoughts and opinions on this!! this is also the longest oneshot i think i've ever written!
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“Having fun there?” 
You turn in your seat and find Ghost leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed and one eye slightly wider than the other—an indication that his eyebrow is raised. 
“Not really,” You answer, setting down your gun. You’d been disassembling it, trying to take your mind off of the slowly growing headache that’s been building up for the past few hours. You don’t think it’s a migraine or anything, but it still bothers you greatly. 
“Yeah, no, I can tell,” Ghost chuckles, pushing himself off of the door frame and walking over to you. He eyes your gun for a moment, the magazine already removed as well as any live rounds left in the rifle ejected, and the bolt locked to the rear. You were only maybe a quarter of the way through your disassembly, even though you started around thirty minutes ago. 
For some reason, you woke up upset today. You were too tired, you felt awfully sluggish, and there was a throbbing pain clustered in the back of your eyebrows. So, in short—you were reasonably very upset. It showed visibly in the way your eyes twitched every so often, and in the way you felt the need to pinch the bridge of your nose to distract you from the pain that was still building up behind your brows. 
“What’s going on?” He asks, leaning on the table. 
“I have this headache that won’t go away,” You respond, sighing as you move your gaze from your gun to Ghost. You can barely see it, but from his eyes you can tell that his face scrunches up beneath his mask. He knows a thing or two about bad headaches, being someone who frequently gets migraines himself. 
“Have you taken any meds for it?” You shake your head ‘no’. Ghost holds up a single finger in a ‘one moment’ motion and rummages through the pockets on his tactical vest for a moment, before he pulls out a small bottle of ibuprofen no bigger than his palm. He hands it to you. 
“Here.” You blink at it for a moment. 
“Thanks,” You take the bottle gingerly and Ghost nods, watching you as you struggle with the child-proof lid for a second before getting it open. You shake out a small tablet, one the size of a low-dosage aspirin, and pop it into your mouth. You don’t have much of an issue dry-swallowing it, and it only takes one attempt before you successfully swallow the tablet.
“You’ve been feeling pretty bad this whole week, haven’t you?” Ghost frowns underneath his mask. 
You think for a moment before nodding, “Yeah, I guess. I think it’s mostly just stress.” 
You know it’s not just stress. 
For a while now, you’ve used something called ‘age regression’ as a form of stress relief. You don’t know exactly when it started, but you do know that it was before you were recruited for the 141. And originally, you made a promise to yourself that you wouldn’t regress while on base, and you kept that promise for maybe a month before you broke it. 
You think it was Ghost that was the trigger, actually. You can vividly remember the first time you regressed while on base; you had just finished talking to Ghost, and he called you something—you think he called you something similar to ‘kid’—that made a flip in your mind switch immediately. You can remember excusing yourself from the conversation quickly, leaving your lieutenant slightly confused but otherwise unbothered by the strange action. 
And, worst of all, you can remember being in your quarters and practically burrowing under your blankets. You were curled up into a fetal position, trying to fight the urge to suck on your thumb or at least chew on something, but ultimately lost the fight and succumbed to your urges. You spent maybe a few hours like that, wide awake when you just wanted to try and sleep it away, thinking about that interaction you had with Ghost over and over again. 
You’re not stupid. You know that Ghost has some sort of soft spot for you—albeit, you don’t know exactly how soft that soft spot is, but it’s definitely soft. Soft enough that he goes the tiniest bit easier on you compared to other recruits, soft enough that he spares you more time than he does for others, and the most obvious of all—he initiates most of your conversations. 
Contrary to popular belief, he’s not the scary super-soldier most people think of him as. Sure, maybe he is kind of scary, and maybe his mask does jumpscare you when you’re doing missions in particularly dark spaces sometimes, but other than that he’s not scary in the slightest. If anything, he’s awkward. Awkward enough that he’s almost never the first person to talk to someone—except for you, of course. You don’t know why he acts so differently around you, but you don’t complain about it. 
“That’s rough,” Ghost looks down at you with concerned, empathetic eyes, “Sorry you’re so stressed. Mind me askin’ why?” 
“I don’t, but I also don’t know why I’m so stressed,” You huff out, even though you know the answer completely. You stand up, “I think it’s just me being sleep deprived. I’ve been having the tiniest bit of trouble falling asleep lately.” 
“You should’ve told me earlier,” Ghost tuts, “I have melatonin.” 
You give him a confused look. “You do?” 
“‘Course I do.” 
You blink at him for a moment before sighing, “Could I have some then?” 
“What’s the magic word?” You give him an unimpressed look, ignoring the way the words make your stomach twist, and his eyes crinkle in a way that lets you know that he’s grinning under his mask. 
“Could I please have some melatonin?” 
“The magic word was lotion, but I’ll let it slide,” Ghost hums, “There’s some in my office. I’ll grab it for you later.” 
“M’kay,” You look over at the door, unintentionally zoning out as you do. Your vision goes unfocused as the throbbing pain behind your eyebrows grows and something else grows inside of you. 
Jesus. Why can’t you choose any other time to get the urge to slip into a younger mentality? Why does your headache have to make everything worse for you? Why does Ghost have to be so nice and helpful? 
“Hey,” Ghost frowns, tapping a finger on your shoulder to snap you out of whatever trance you’re in, “[c/n]?” 
Oh God. 
Your eyes—that you try desperately to keep neutral—meet Ghost’s, his eyes soft and his eyebrows dipped downwards in a confused manner. His eyes are searching, flitting over you, trying to find something. The way he looks at you makes you want to squirm, and you can’t help but just slightly shuffle in place. 
“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks, voice as concerned as his look. That should be the breaking point for you, but you remain as big as you can be, and nod affirmatively. 
“Yeah, I’m fine,” You try to assure him, hoping you don’t sound as nervous as you feel, “I think I’m just a little tired.” 
Ghost doesn’t look convinced. 
He puts a hand on your shoulder, the act like a hammer putting another dent in the wall you had put up. The leather of his glove is warm even through the thick material of your shirt, and it feels like hot metal against your cold skin, the clothing covering your shoulder be damned. 
“You can tell me if you’re not okay,” He tells you—what is he doing? Does he know something I don’t?—while his thumb starts rubbing circles into your shoulder, “I feel like you’re more than a little tired.” 
You stay silent for a little bit. You don’t know how to explain yourself, the words seeming to liquify and leak right out of you, making you speechless. He seems to notice this, sighing and letting his hand slip down to your hand, holding it and giving it a quick squeeze. 
“I think,” He looks around for a moment before turning back to you, “that we should head to my office so that nobody can bother us, and then you can tell me all about how you’re feeling right now. Does that sound okay?” 
You nod wordlessly, not trusting yourself to talk with how heavy your tongue feels, and you let Ghost lead you back to his office. It’s only a hallway away, but that’s still enough time to overthink everything that could possibly happen. How does he know something’s wrong? What gave it away? Did I do something bad? What did I do? Wh—
The creak of his office door opening snaps you out of your thoughts, and Ghost steps aside to let you enter his office first. Hesitantly, you take a few steps inside, and you hear the door click shut behind you as Ghost walks in. He takes your hand again, making you look at him as he guides you to a chair. 
You sit in the chair that’s in front of his desk, and he quickly drags out the chair that’s behind it so that it’s right next to yours. He sits down. 
He’s looking at you expectantly. 
“Uh.” You’re not sure what to say. He’s looking at you so reassuringly, it’s hard to keep yourself sitting upright. 
“I know something’s wrong,” Ghost says, leaning forward the tiniest bit, “I need you to tell me what’s wrong so I can help you.” 
He’s got to have at least some idea of what you’re experiencing, You think, trying to form some sort of explanation, He’s being so… weird? 
You swear there’s some other word you could use, but your vocabulary feels so limited, and you would mentally curse if you could because you know that now your explanation is gonna sound weird. You can’t use the words you want, you’re gonna be forced to use simple words, ones that can’t convey exactly how you feel. Words that—and it physically pained you to admit this—were childish. 
You can explain your situation. Just, now it would be more… blunt. And short. And also you’d feel like killing yourself afterwards. You won’t, obviously, but you can predict that you’ll come very close to doing so.
Okay, I have to say something because Ghost is looking more and more worried the longer I stay silent. 
“I feel…” You trail off for a moment, trying to get your thoughts in order for the next two seconds to actually say something that makes sense, before continuing in a far less confident tone, “… small.” 
The moment the words leave your mouth, you regret it. Ew. Ew. Ew. What. Why? Why that word? It leaves a sour taste on your tongue and yet you can’t think of any other word that would better suit how you feel. Still. Ew. 
Your thoughts are a jumbled mess ranging from fleeting thoughts of disgust to thoughts lodged in the back of your mind begging you to go anywhere else just so that you can stop having to have this conversation. This conversation requires words bigger than you have access to, and a sort of control over yourself that you can’t grasp. You can feel your hands twitching, wanting something to hold onto, anything to keep you distracted from the overwhelming urge to just regress. 
Ghost blinks. He didn’t expect that answer. 
“Small?” He repeats in a questioning tone, eyebrows furrowed, “I mean, compared to me, I guess you’re kind of short—” 
“No, no, not like short small,” You try to clarify, feeling just slightly discouraged by Ghost’s confused words, “Like…” 
You struggle to find the words that properly describe how you feel, only finding words like small and little in your current vocabulary. Your findings are making you increasingly upset, and you can feel your face start to grow hot with frustration and embarrassment. 
Oh my God. 
“Like…?” Ghost nudges your knee with his, trying to encourage you to talk, “I’m not leaving until you tell me.” 
There’s still a level of care in his words, no matter how confused he seems, and that adds all the more struggle to your predicament. Not only do you not want to tell him, but you can’t describe how you feel in a way that’s acceptable for someone your age to describe anything. At least, not in a way that you deem acceptable for yourself to describe anything. 
You’re far too old to be describing yourself as small. 
“[c/n]?” Ghost nudges you again, and you blink at him. Your eyes are flickering all over his mask, going anywhere but his eyes, since eye contact with anyone would make everything significantly worse for you right now. 
“It’s just—” You try to take a deep breath but your breath hitches. Everything is starting to make you feel so frustrated, and you’re starting to think that you might just throw a tantrum if you can’t do at least one thing right. You try to find the words you want to use but your throat is disobediently closing on you. Your mind feels like straight mush, and the quickly softening look that Ghost is giving you isn’t helping you at all. 
To your horror, in your inexplicable inability to talk in the way you normally do, you let out a small whine. It sounds obnoxious to your ears, and worst of all, sounds like something a little kid would do. 
You put your head in your hands, the quickly reddening skin of your cheeks getting cooled by the cold of your palms as you try and hide your face from Ghost. You can picture how he looks right now—somehow more confused than earlier, possibly annoyed, weirded out—and all those mental images make you bite your tongue to prevent another noise. 
“What was that?” You don’t answer him. 
To your non-answer, Ghost sighs, and you think, This is it, this is where he kicks me out of his office, oh my God I’m gonna get dishonorably discharged and he’s gonna give me a really mean look on my way out—
“Look at me.” You shake your head negatively. 
“Why not?” He sounds so confused, it makes you want to cry. There’s still a level of worry in his voice, and it adds to the fog that builds up in your brain. 
You move your face just slightly up so that your eyes peek out from above your fingertips, your hands covering the rest of your face. Ghost reaches out both of his hands, and ever so gently removes your hands from your face, uncovering your red cheeks and your lips—the lower of which quivers, like you’re about to cry. He notices this quickly, and you can practically feel the level of his worry shoot up. 
He doesn’t say anything, instead just holding your hands in his for a moment, before he sets them down into your lap. He looks at you, concerned, and asks, “Is it hard to talk right now?” 
You nod. His gaze shifts to his computer, and then back to you. 
“I’m gonna go look a few things up really quick, okay? I’ll just be right over there,” He nods over to the space behind his computer, “and I’ll be right back here in a few seconds.” 
You reluctantly nod again, and Ghost gets up from his seat. He grabs the back of the chair and drags it back around behind his desk, sitting down in it and powering on his monitor. It turns on almost immediately, much to his relief, and he goes to his browser and searches up a few things. You can’t tell what he’s searching up, only hearing the clacking of keys and the occasional final click that indicates that he’s hit the enter button. 
He stays there for maybe a minute or two. It’s a long few minutes, and you can feel yourself slipping more and more the longer he stays at his computer. And the more you feel yourself slipping into that younger mindset, the more you start to crave Ghost’s attention. 
The way his eyes are glued to his computer starts to irritate you. You’re aware that he’s doing something important, he must be, because why would he be so intent on looking something up otherwise, but still—you manage to feel the tiniest bit jealous of the computer. You know you’re too far gone when you can’t find it within yourself to realize that you’re jealous of a computer. 
Your eyes linger on him and he must notice this because he looks up from the screen of his monitor and looks over at you. As if he can read your mind, he reassures you, “Just a few more seconds.” 
But you said you were gonna be back in a few seconds a few minutes ago. 
You don’t voice your thoughts. Instead, you nod, because God forbid you annoy Ghost with your need for attention now when he’s being so patient with you. He looks at you for another moment before going back to his computer and looking something else up, this time with a little more fervor. 
Another few seconds pass and, true to his word this time, Ghost stops and gets up from his chair. He walks over to you, and your eyes follow him intently. He kneels down in front of you.
He looks hesitant to say something to you. That’s a first. That adds to the exponentially growing blob of fear that lives inside your mind, one of the only things that’s still prominent in the fog that conquers your brain. 
“Are you…” You feel like you know what he’s gonna ask you. You’re bracing yourself for the question, and he looks like he’s bracing himself just to ask it. 
“How, uh,” He’s trying to find the right wording, and you’ve never been able to relate to him harder than you do in this moment, “How… do you feel right now? How old?” 
How old? You don’t really like that question. As much as you like that you’re now getting attention, you’re starting to remember how little you actually enjoy this type of attention. The question is pretty vague, but at the same time so specific, and you’re almost ashamed to know exactly what the answer is. Or, at least, you would feel ashamed if there was room in your mind to feel so. 
“You said you feel small, right? Not like short small, just small?” He sounds more unsure of himself now, and you don’t think you like seeing him so reluctant to say something, “I looked up what it means to feel like that. Took some time, but I got to some person’s… website, and the person who wrote it was talkin’ about feeling like that. Something about regression, feeling a little bit younger than usual?” 
He’s being so awkward about it, and while you typically find his awkwardness funny, now it’s anything but that. 
“Uhm,” Your voice comes out as a mumble and you see Ghost perk up at it. You don’t know what to say. For a moment, you’re silent again, before you get over your embarrassment for a quick two seconds and force yourself to say, “Four.” 
“Four?” Ghost asks, before quickly realizing, “Right. Four. You feel four?” 
You nod, and your hands instinctively start moving back up to cover your face. Ghost swiftly grabs them, keeping his grip gentle as he keeps them from reaching your face. 
“Hey, don’t try to hide again,” He says, tone softening as he holds your hands, “everything’s fine, okay? Do you— what, uh— do you need me to do anything? Do you want me to leave you alo—”
“No!” You quickly answer, a little surprised by your own volume, before you clear your throat and answer in a much more quiet voice, “Don’t leave me alone.” 
“Okay, okay,” Ghost’s thumbs rub across the back of your hands, a soothing gesture that makes you the tiniest bit more relaxed, “what do you need?” 
You sniffle, and you can see an immediate look of panic cross Ghost’s eyes. You don’t know how well he is with crying children, and don’t want to impose such a situation on him, but you also can’t stop the tears that begin to well up in the corners of your eyes. 
“Hey, don’t cry,” He borderline begs, “everything’s gonna be okay, okay? Please do not cry. Take a deep breath.” 
You try to take a deep breath, you really do, but your breath just hitches and gets caught in your throat. It only makes you more distressed, adding to the urge you have to just disappear. Ghost notices your failed deep breathing and lets go of one of your hands, before taking the other and holding it to his chest.
You can just barely feel his heartbeat, his thick tactical vest and gear in the way of it, but you can still feel it. Ghost takes a deep breath, holding it for a second or two before slowly exhaling. 
“You copy me, okay?” He tells you, his words an order but his tone suggesting otherwise. He takes another deep breath, this time hoping you’ll follow his lead, and you do. 
You try to breathe with him, your hand on his chest helping, but your breath keeps getting caught in your throat. Ghost notices this, but continues his breathing anyway, hoping you’ll catch on soon. You do, thankfully—after a few more attempted breaths, you finally manage one almost identical to Ghost’s. The next few after that go similarly, and that’s when Ghost decides you’re alright to take your hand off of his chest. 
“I need you to tell me what to do,” He says, keeping your hand in his hold, “or at least tell me how all of this works. I want to help you.”
 You really don’t want to tell him what you need right now, but you also don’t think you have a choice. 
Wordlessly, you stand up from your seat, balance just slightly off-center before you quickly get your footing right. Ghost watches you, not moving, before you tug on his hand to try and urge him to get up as well. He obliges, getting up. 
“What—” You interrupt him by taking another step forward and letting your head thump right into his chest, ignoring the itchy uncomfortable feeling of his vest against your face. You don’t bother to wrap your arms around him to at least try and form some sort of hug, preferring to just smush yourself into him and hope for the best. 
After a moment of stunned silence, he wraps his arms around you. 
“You mind if we move behind my desk so I can look up some more stuff on all of this?” He asks, voice quiet, “Unless you want to just tell me?” 
“Desk,” You simply mumble into his vest, making him nod. 
“Alright, but you’re gonna have to stop hugging me for a second,” Ghost warns you. You reluctantly step away, and Ghost smiles softly down at you, bringing his hands away from your back and instead holding one of yours. 
He leads you behind his desk, and lets go of your hand before sitting down in his chair. Pausing, he quickly realizes you have nowhere to sit, and thinks for a moment before getting back up. He drags his chair just slightly to the side and looks back at you. 
“Sit down,” He nods to the chair, “It’s only gonna be a minute or two, alright?” 
You nod, hesitantly moving to sit in the chair, not really liking how far away from Ghost it is. It's not that far, You try to rationalize, I’m gonna be fine. 
Ghost can see your hesitation and tries to work as quickly as he can, grateful that he didn’t turn his computer off earlier, typing away on his keyboard. You don’t care to see what he’s looking up, more focused on looking at the time on his monitor. 21:44. 21:45. The time ticks by and even though it’s only been a few seconds you already want Ghost’s attention again. His attention has actually turned into good attention, and that’s the type of attention you’ve been craving for the past week. 
The clock reads 21:47 once Ghost is done, and he powers his monitor off this time, the small whirring the device makes dying down to a low hum before going completely silent. He turns to you, and somehow can sense that you need more attention. 
“Am I not paying enough attention to you?” He teases you, making you conflicted on whether you should be annoyed by the teasing or happy you’re finally getting attention. As if he can read your mind, he chuckles, and kneels down to your level. 
“I’m gonna give you as much attention as you need, alright?” He promises, “I just need you to stay in this room.” 
— 
Ghost watches you nod non-verbally, and it only adds to his softening expression. 
He’s always had a soft spot for kids. He knows that you aren’t technically a kid, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t still see you as one. You’re young for someone in the military, much less someone in this 141, and now that he’s found out that you’re an age regressor, that you’re a little—well, that doesn’t help how he sees you at all. 
He thinks that maybe the reason he has such a soft spot for kids is a few encounters he’s had with them in the past. He’s seen far too many in compromising positions while on missions; positions like being held hostage, being held as prisoner, or just generally being mistreated or even just living in bad conditions. 
He looks at you, and he just sees another one of those kids. 
He sees how you act around him. He’s not stupid. When he talks to you, you’re actually engaged in the conversation, compared to when anyone else tries to talk to you—maybe excluding Price, or Soap, or Gaz, heavy on that maybe—you’re more likely than not brushing them off every chance you get. You’re standoffish with everyone else, but with him, you’ll always accept any conversation he initiates. 
He can also see the way you look at him. It’s like you’re looking at your idol, or your savior, the way you look up at him. He can see that curious glint in your eyes when he tells you about a recent mission, or when he tells you anything, really. He can see when you try to mimic how he holds his weapons, and when you try to copy his techniques. 
He remembers catching you one day in the shooting range trying to mimic how he aims at the targets—looking through your scope with one eye closed, the other focused only on the dot centered on the scope, taking a deep breath in and out before shooting, and keeping the gun exactly like that even seconds after the shot’s been fired. 
In fact, the copying has gone from guns to melee weapons recently. Ghost swings only his forearm when he uses a knife, thumb resting on the very end of the knife’s handle, and entire arm stiff as he does. He does a slow windup when behind someone, a fast one on the off-chance that he’s in front, and buries the weapon to the hilt in whoever’s flesh he’s penetrated. He’s already seen you do the same on a recent mission. Not only that, but he caught you using a knife almost identical to his. 
And now, you’re still looking at him like that—except, different. Sort of like how a kid might look up to their parents. 
“What do you feel like doing, kiddo?” He asks, hoping the pet name isn’t too much. 
From the way your eyes light up, he suspects it isn't. 
“Mmm…” You hum, thinking for a moment, before requesting, “Coloring?” 
“Coloring, huh?” Ghost looks around for some blank paper and some sort of marker or pen thick enough to act as one, but can only find some highlighters. He turns to you, frowning, “Sorry, but I don’t think I have any paper, kid. Anything else you wanna do?”
You shake your head, and Ghost is just about ready to jump off of a bridge before you point to his arm and repeat, “Coloring.” 
He looks at his arm for a second, confused, before he remembers a conversation the two of you had a month or so ago. 
“If you ever wanna get tattoos, I know a guy in Brighton,” Ghost said, reclining his chair back so that he can lay down in it. You were sitting across from him in front of his desk, fiddling with one of his pens. 
“Good to know,” You hummed, “You have any tattoos?” 
“Yeah,” You perked up at his admission, and he sat up for a second to roll up the sleeve of his shirt. He wasn’t wearing his usual gear, only one of those standard issue army-green shirts. 
“Here,” He pointed to a large tattoo covering his whole arm like a sleeve, a few designs you could point out to yourself being a skull, a few Roman numerals, and some kind of scythe. 
“Very emo,” You commented, making Ghost snort, “I like it.” 
“I’m glad,” He rolled his sleeve back down. 
There’s a lot of blank space in the tattoo, despite it being a sleeve, and he can already tell that you mean you want to color in that space. He thinks about it for a moment, a fleeting thought of is that even safe? crossing his mind before he ultimately decides that he doesn’t care and would rather kill himself than see you disappointed because he denied your request, his own health be damned. 
“Alright,” He hums, grabbing a few highlighters from a mesh cup on his desk in the colors pink, yellow, and blue, “Go for it.” 
You give him a small smile and if he cared about if he’d get ink poisoning two seconds ago, he sure as hell doesn’t care now. You gingerly grab the highlighters from his hand, your grabbing not too secure and sort of clumsy but secure enough that the markers stay in your hand.
You hold them with both hands, and it makes Ghost realize how small your hands are—sure, you could hold the highlighters with one hand, but he’s glad you aren’t because now he can admire just how small you are as a whole. 
You set the yellow and blue down on his desk, making sure they don’t roll off for a moment before uncapping the pink and hesitantly holding out a hand for Ghost’s arm. He rolls up his sleeve and obediently holds out his arm for you, watching curiously as you press the cold tip of the highlighter to his skin. You’re starting by coloring in the skull a neon pink, much to his amusement, and you’re starting in the dead center of its forehead. 
You’re so much more quiet than you usually are when you’re little, and you’re so much more hesitant, it makes Ghost want to just wrap you in a blanket and keep you safe and in his sight forever. 
Your tongue slightly pokes out from between your lips as you concentrate on coloring in Ghost’s tattoo, making him grin beneath his mask. The ink of the highlighter doesn’t stay within the black bounds of his tattoos at all, but he doesn’t care one bit, and he doesn’t think you care either. You finish up the skull quickly, and move onto the scythe that’s right next to it, this time capping the pink highlighter and grabbing the yellow. 
Ghost is pretty sure this is gonna stain his skin for a day or two, but he couldn’t care less.
He can’t help but notice how much more relaxed you look in your regressed state. More at peace, he should say. There’s no longer a hunch in your shoulders, your eyes aren’t twitching from your headache, and you’re not bouncing your leg like you usually do when you’re sitting down somewhere. It’s like any anxieties you had pre-regression had evaporated, like slipping into a younger mentality had taken away most of your worries, if not all of them. 
He also can’t help but wish he could see you like this more often. Not necessarily the regressed part, but the relaxed part. Well, maybe the regressed part too. You’re being such a sweetheart right now, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to live through this experience. 
“You having fun there, darling?” Ghost asks, his grin evident in his voice. The corners of your lips quirk up at the pet name and you nod silently, and now Ghost is starting to think you’re actually trying to kill him. You’re being so uncharacteristically shy, and you’re being so quiet, and you’re just being so sweet. 
It seems you’ve moved onto the blue highlighter now, coloring in the last bit of his tattoo. He doesn’t think he’ll ever wash it off—or, at least, he wouldn’t if he had a choice. He knows that he has to shower sometime soon, but surely he can put that off for a bit, right?
Once you’re finished with your coloring, you cap the highlighter, and set it down next to the others you’ve discarded. You turn Ghost’s arm the tiniest bit towards him so that he can see your work better. 
“‘s it good?” You ask quietly, watching intently for Ghost’s reaction. He looks over your coloring job and hums approvingly. 
“It’s amazing, I love it,” He assures you, smiling down softly at you, “You did great.” 
You seem to preen at the praise, and you take your hand off of Ghost’s arm, moving to put in your lap. You’re keeping yourself very contained, Ghost notices, Why? 
He’s snapped out of his thoughts when he hears you yawn, and you quickly move to cover your mouth as you do. He’s reminded that it’s almost twenty-two hundred, and while that usually wouldn’t be an issue for him, it’s an issue for you. You originally came to the 141 as someone who had a sleep schedule almost as fucked up at Ghost’s, but soon developed a habit of going to sleep somewhat early considering the training you had in the morning. So, now you get tired anywhere from eighteen-hundred to twenty-one hundred. After that, your only goal is to find somewhere to sleep. 
“Sleepy?” You nod tiredly, making Ghost coo, Ghost, the man who quite literally haunts some people’s nightmares, coos at you, “Aw, of course you are, sweetheart. Pretty sure it’s way past your bedtime by now.” 
“Nuh uh,” You deny, making Ghost chuckle. 
“‘Nuh uh’?” He asks, amused, “What d’you mean ‘nuh uh’?” 
“No b’dtime,” You shortly elaborate. 
“Ohhh, okay,” Ghost feigns realization, “You think you’re too big for a bedtime, huh?” 
“Mhm. Way too big.”
“I dunno about ‘way’ too big,” Ghost hums, checking to see if the highlighter on his arm has dried before he pulls his sleeve back down. “You seem pretty little to me.” 
“No,” You whine, dragging out the ‘o’, “Not lil’.” 
“Hmm… you sure, kiddo?” Ghost asks, “So if I ask you if you need to go to bed, you’re gonna say ‘no’?” 
That makes you hesitate, and Ghost almost thinks he’s won, before your own pettiness wins and you nod affirmatively. He raises an eyebrow at you. 
“Alright, well, you’ve gotta sleep at some point,” He says, crossing his arms as he leans back in his chair. 
You think this over for a second, and he watches as you look over him for a moment before looking down at his lap, then looking back up at him. He can already tell there’s some sort of plan forming in your mind.  Wordlessly, you get up, and Ghost does nothing to stop you as you decide to just plop yourself down into his lap. You straddle his thighs, moving until you’re sitting comfortably on him, and then let yourself slump forward so that your face is resting in the crook of his neck. It takes him a moment to process what just happened, before he laughs lightly and wraps both of his arms around you to keep you in place. 
“Oh, okay,” He grins, resting his chin on your shoulder, “you just wanna cuddle with me until you fall asleep? Is that what this is?” 
He feels you nod against his neck, and his grin grows as he rubs one hand against your back, trying to soothe you to sleep. He doesn’t say anything else, not wanting to distract you from your attempts to sleep anymore, simply letting you stay slumped against him. Your breathing wasn’t too fast-paced to begin with, but as you relax even more in his arms, he can feel your breathing even out. 
You’re falling asleep fairly quickly, and the only complaint he has is that he didn’t get to spend nearly as much time as he wanted to with you while you were awake and regressed. 
Once he’s sure you’re barely awake, he murmurs, “You’re such a sweetheart, you know that?” 
— 
You don’t know how long it’s been since you fell asleep, but you’re woken up by the slight rustling of clothes, and then you feel yourself moving up. 
Your mind still feels foggy and you can tell you’re still somewhat in that younger mindset of yours, but now you’re significantly less bothered by it than you were before. You’re awake enough to be aware of what’s happening, always having been a light-sleeper, but not awake enough to know exactly what’s happening. You don’t dare open your eyes, and try to keep your breathing even—though that isn’t much of a challenge. 
That headache that had been building up earlier has fully disappeared, thank God, and you no longer feel the tension in your shoulder that you’d been unconsciously carrying. 
You can sort of feel someone’s arms snaked under your back, and you know that you’re being moved somewhere. Quickly, you remember that it’s Ghost carrying you, and that you had fallen asleep on him, much to your embarrassment. Or, at least, it would be much to your embarrassment if you had the mental capacity to feel embarrassed about that right now. But you feel so comfy and so safe that it really doesn’t matter to you right now. 
You can hear the clicking of Ghost’s boots against the concrete floors of the hallway, and he’s carrying you off somewhere; you imagine that somewhere to be your sleeping quarters. He’s walking pretty fast, not hurriedly but still at a somewhat fast pace. 
Soon, he reaches a stopping point where he has to awkwardly put one leg up to support your back on his thigh as he quickly reaches one arm out to turn the knob of the door to your sleeping quarters and pulls that arm right back to support your back again. He sighs as he puts his foot back down, kicking open the door and walking in. 
He’s quick to reach your bed, and he pauses as he considers what to do. You can practically hear him thinking, wondering how he’s gonna get you under the covers while he’s still carrying you, and for a second you think about showing him you’re awake so that things are easier for him before he sets you down on the bed. 
He pulls the covers up and stops when he reaches the part your body covers, and picks you back up, before dropping you right back off where the blankets have been pulled away. He pulls the covers back over you. 
After a few moments, you think he’s left the room, before you hear the rustling of fabric and feel him leaning down. He gently presses his lips to your forehead and pulls away after a second or two, before quietly mumbling, “Night, kiddo.”
He stays there for a moment before you hear his footsteps leave the room, and then the door clicking shut behind him as he leaves the room entirely. 
You’re quick to fall asleep after that.
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So uh. Maybe I'm just really stupid, but despite being in this fandom for a year now I for some reason was convinced that Killcheroy killing herself was like, canon, because of how widely accepted that theory is in the fandom and spoken of as if it's fact. But after looking through all of Fuuta's stuff again (voice dramas, music videos, the like,) I've come to realize that not only is Killcheroy's actual cause of death never actually confirmed, but I've also realized something else: Y'all I really do not think this girl killed herself lmao. In fact, I am very confident that she didn't kill herself, mainly due to the fact that, as we know, Milgram has a very specific motif when it comes to characters who have committed suicide or have themes of suicide in their character
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Mahiru and Kazui's victims both have a shoe off, because both of them died via suicide
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Muu is often presented with only one shoe, because she is implied to be suicidal
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Fuuta's victim also has a shoe off, because as we know she died of-- ...Huh? Oh shit. Both shoes are intact. Now I've seen people, though often briefly, point that out before What I don't see pointed out however is that Backdraft has three perfect opportunities to follow up on the shoes motif, and just doesn't.
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These are the first two I wanna talk about. Killcheroy's shoes are perfectly in view, yet both of them are still in tact. Since this whole scene is basically a creative reenactment of Killcheroy's death, wouldn't it make sense for one shoe to be off if suicide was what took her out? But at the same time, these scenes are still depicting her when she is 'alive,' so maybe it wouldn't make that much sense for a shoe to be off in this particular scene. But what about after she burns up? That's where the third scene comes in
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Even after she dies, her shoes are not there. Milgram is a series that loves including small, blink-and-you'll-miss-it details. If Killcheroy really killed herself, there's no way her shoes wouldn't be visible in these shots as Fuuta's running away, right? And this shoe motif, coupled with the fact that when looking at what we have, there's no actual evidence that Killcheroy killed herself (to my knowledge) makes me doubt this theory a lot more than I had when I originally assumed it was canon. So what do I think took Killcheroy out? Well, though we have no evidence that she killed herself, we do have evidence that Fuuta doxxed her.
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(x) Storm Pazuzu Should we destroy her?^^Just because you’re a middle school girl doesn’t mean you can act like this lmaooooo don’t go easy on her just because she’s cute  QRT Miss Magic I got permission from the store owner, it’s allowed as long as I’m only replicating it for personal use. Storm Pazuzu Yeah, yeah, thanks for the late excuses QRT Storm Pazuzu I think I’ve got all her details now. Based on her previous tweets I’ve worked out her school. The fact she lives so close is hilarious lol Judgement☨Onizuka You’re the worst offender of all
And the fact that this scene transitions
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to this one, where Fuuta is reacting to the news of Killcheroy's death, leads me to believe that this doxxing was the final bridge that caused Killcheroy's death. Now, a lot of life-threatening events can result from doxxing, for a while I was even pondering the possibility that Killcheroy was swatted and killed that way. But I think someone in Fuuta's group killed her, because the text in the MV makes it a note to specify that Killcheroy "lives close" to Fuuta and presumably the rest of his friend group since they all go to the same university and live in the same area. I can see people arguing that that would remove a bit of Fuuta's agency and responsibility from his murder, but I don't think I would agree with that. Regardless of what truly happened to Killcheroy after the doxxing, whether she was killed by someone in the group, or swatted (which I think is less likely, but is still a possibility), this presumed culprit was only able to do the things they did because Fuuta gave them the tools to. He gave them a target, Killcheroy, who he demonized and dehumanized into the role of Petulant Witch, and enough details of her location for anyone in the area to find her and enact punishment in the most direct way they can. Fuuta's story, to me anyway, isn't just about the consequences of cyberbullying and cancel culture, but also the cult-mentality of it and how others are influenced into it.
(x) Storm Pazuzu The people in charge here are shit. I could do a much better job
Fuuta did not come out of the womb cancelling people, but due to the injustice he saw around him and his desire to Do Something About It, he was influenced into this cesspool of online toxicity and cancel culture.
Now, it's his turn to influence justice. And boy, did he.
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navree · 2 months
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How do you feel about the Nettles situation? 👀
As mentioned, haven't been watching season 2 and only been "keeping up" with it in that I see what the beloved mutuals are posting about it on Tumblr (and the occasional errant tweet from the fucking bad take brigade that is fandom twitter), so from what I know the Nettles situation appears to be that they're cutting her completely and just giving her storyline to Rhaena? Well the way I feel about that is that I think it fucking sucks.
The big thing for me is that the entire rationale for cutting Nettles and just substituting in Rhaena really smacks of racism. They couldn't be assed to do anything for Rhaena, so they just took the only notable Black character they could find and just went "well Nettles is a Black girl, and now we've made Rhaena Black, so it's the same thing" without thinking about the fact that Nettles and Rhaena are two very different characters with very different places in the narrative and aren't just interchangeable, and that it's fucking weird that you immediately got rid of a woman of color because you already had what you deemed to be a sufficient amount. The lack of care shown to Rhaena, specifically the version of Rhaena that the show created, is astounding, and it feels really weird that it's existing for one of the already few Black women in the show (it's something I've already talked about, that the show made changes without then thinking about how things come across in the real world to the viewing public, like Ryan Condal saying that women lie about being victims of gendered violence or making the Velaryons Black but then putting significantly less effort into them than their white counterparts, or not even thinking about how Targaryen-Velaryon intermarriage would make the current Targs visibly mixed).
Giving Rhaena the Nettles plot doesn't make sense for two main reasons, even beyond the BTS decisions that I outlined above: 1) you can give Rhaena an entirely original and interesting plot if you bothered to actually care about her or in giving Black women something to do in your show 2) Nettles has a very specific impact on the story that cannot be removed without drastically changing the history that's been set in stone.
So, point one: an original Rhaena plot. I've said this before, but it's a very critique that book!Rhaena doesn't actually do anything. She just kinda sits around in the Vale having her hair brushed for a year until the war's over. That's a bit boring, I don't mind the show deciding to change up what she does so she actually has shit to, like, do. But let's look at what the show crafted with the Vale plot before they just punted Nettles to Rhaena. On the Vale's side, the show has created a situation where their loyalty to Rhaenyra is extremely flimsy and quite likely to vanish at a moment's notice. Rhaenyra's husband, her major partisan, was infamously shitty to the Vale, he constantly degraded the region in open court, and then murdered one of Jeyne Arryn's vassals in cold blood, his own wife, for no reason. And not only that, he wasn't even remotely punished for it. Daemon's bad reputation in the Vale for what he did to Rhea Royce, and his treatment of her throughout their marriage, and the lack of accountability in that, should absolutely make it so that anyone in the Vale would be leery about allying themselves with him. Then, Jeyne gives Rhaenyra the Vale's allegiance so long as Rhaenyra sends a battle-ready dragon and dragon-rider to protect them in case the Greens decide to invade and force their submission. But after Rhaenyra's envoy promises her that, Rhaenyra backtracks, and instead sends her a teenager and three little kids and a baby dragon and some dragon eggs. That is insulting, that is a violation of the promised agreement that came at the cost of the Vale's allegiance to Rhaenyra, that alliance should absolutely be on the rocks. It makes sense for Jeyne to be as annoyed with the Blacks as she is in the show. And on Rhaena's side, she doesn't have a dragon at all, and she is undervalued in her family as a result. Her father straight up doesn't care about her and neglects her because she doesn't have that symbol of Targaryen supremacy within her, her sister may love her but doesn't value her much as a person (considering Baela is absolutely fine with Rhaena getting sent away to play nursemaid and doesn't even bring up Rhaena being the Lady of Driftmark even tho she has a claim through Laena and Hell, even being Luke's intended), Rhaenyra literally doesn't see her as worthy of keeping around since she just shunts her off not even for her own safety, but so that she can ensure the safety of Rhaenyra's sons. And that's weighing on Rhaena, it's been weighing on her since she was a child, she's only ten when she talks to Laena about how Daemon doesn't love her because she doesn't have a dragon, and those feelings have only grown as she has, and as more indignities have been heaped on her.
So you have Rhaena, who isn't really valued by the people around her or considered necessary for the war effort, in an area where the emotions are ripe for turning against Rhaenyra and maybe even siding with the Greens. So why not have Rhaena change it? Instead of having the Vale stay loyal for no reason in spite of their very legitimate issues, have Rhaena forge a relationship with Jeyne. Have them get a personal connection to get Jeyne more invested in the Blacks' victory. Have Rhaena work essentially in administration, use her connection to the parties on Dragonstone to enact more firm promises for the Vale, in writing. Have Rhaena become essential to Rhaenyra getting to keep a foothold in Westeros, since most of the South (should be) allied to the Greens, the Riverlands are under Daemon's purview yes but he's not trustworthy enough for that to be an assurance, and the North is loyal to Rhaenyra but still taking its sweetass time doing anything. Have Rhaena find her own worth within in her in the way she helps the war effort not with a dragon, not with the way others have told her she could be useful and necessary, but with a way she's found for herself. Have her grow internally in the process, and become more confident and self-assured. There's a plot to give Rhaena in the Vale, but it's not Nettles's, it should be her own, crafted out of a care for her as a character and to give her a story of her own rather than slap someone else's to her because you were being lazy.
And speaking of Nettles, cutting her is ridiculous because she is absolutely essential. It's because of Nettles that, ultimately, things end the way that they do for a lot of characters. And that is because of her very specific connection to Daemon. Nettles joins up with Daemon after the Blacks take King's Landing, and it's soon very clear that these two have a very, very strong connection ('oh because she's his daughter' considering that Daemon seems incapable of loving any of his children, nah, I've always been in the romance camp for these two), especially on Daemon's part. And that strong connection, combined with Rhaenyra's distrust of dragonseeds, leads Rhaenyra to demand that Lord Mooton break guest right and kill Nettles, to stop her from "stealing" Daemon and then betraying Rhaenyra the way Hugh and Ulf did. Daemon finds out about this and, to save Nettles's life, helps her escape, in a goodbye that left Nettles upset and Daemon evidently heartbroken, considering that Caraxes starts screeching like a banshee as they leave. And that is what then spurs Daemon not to return to Rhaenyra's side, but to instead strike out and try to kill Aemond, and thus leads him to his own death in turn. Which leads to a loss of power for Rhaenyra which culminates in her fleeing King's Landing for Dragonstone where she's killed which then leads to Aegon returning to King's Landing only for the Northerners to attack which leads to him dying (I'm a proponent of suicide theory) which leads to Aegon III becoming King and etc etc.
You see how Nettles's existence starts the ball rolling for what becomes the next two hundred years of Targaryen, and by extension Westerosi, history? She's a very specific person, and you can't replace her with anyone else. Daemon has shown absolutely no care or consideration at all for his children by Laena, so there's no reason for him to be anywhere near as invested in Rhaena as he was with Nettles ('oh but Rhaena would have a dragon' well Baela already has a dragon and that didn't stop him from punting her to Driftmark so he could devote his attention only to his pureblood Valyrian sons and still not giving any kind of a shit about her at all, he's a bad father even if his kids have dragons). Rhaenyra's mistrust of Nettles is fueled by her mistrust of dragonseeds, but Rhaena wouldn't be a dragonseed, she's Daemon's trueborn daughter, so that's not an issue. Nor is Rhaenyra necessarily gonna be worried that Daemon is falling in love with his own daughter and thus falling out of love with her, or then try to go "well then the only option is for me to murder Daemon's daughter" as a result. So there'd be no strong connection motivating Daemon to value Rhaena so highly, there'd be no betrayal from Rhaenyra that gets Rhaena sent away and motivates Daemon to pull away from Rhaenyra and instead keep on fighting even if it means his death, and with that, there's no way any of the historical facts can proceed the way that they do. Nettles can't be Rhaena, she needs to be Nettles. She is her own person, with her own specific impact on the narrative and the characters within. And yes, F&B is a narrative, it's formatted like a history book which makes for good thought experiments and injects ambiguity within certain elements, but it's still a fictional story dreamed up by George, who then put characters in that story for a reason.
Not to mention, Nettles and Rhaena are very different characters? Like, they have incredibly different personalities. Rhaena's we haven't seen much of, because the show has suffered in characterizing the younger TB characters as a whole and is also just really bad in characterizing the Velaryons specifically (hm suspicious). But based on what we have, Rhaena seems a bit quiet, a bit subdued, prone to shyness, and generally favoring a more traditional femininity than we see from even Baela. Nettles meanwhile is coarse and rough and loud and unapologetic in that, she's not timid but in fact fearless and bold. Rhaena is a highborn daughter of a prince, stepdaughter to a queen. Nettles is a homeless whore's daughter who grew up poor and on thin means struggling to survive. Which is why Nettles is able to claim Sheepstealer, having to grow up the way she did with the experiences she had gave her an industriousness and a way of problem-solving that allowed her to figure out how to win over Sheepstealer, a wild unclaimed dragon. She used her wits, as she likely so often had to, growing up the way she did, to figure out that Sheepstealer might not like people but he likes a certain kind of food, and thus create an association in his head of Nettles=that food he likes by bringing him sheep until she gained enough of his trust to claim him as a dragon to ride. Rhaena doesn't have that industriousness because Rhaena, like 90% of highborn nobles, has never had to actually fight for anything ever. She's never had to really problem solve in a blunt way for anything, let alone her own survival, that might then inform how she might try to do something as daring as claiming a wild dragon. I mean, Hell, Rhaena gets told out loud "hey if you want a dragon you need to claim a dragon, earn that right" by her own mother who did the exact same thing, and then spent ten years on Dragonstone twiddling her thumbs, I guess, since she never thought "hm let me try that".
Like, these are different people, with different personalities and different upbringings that shaped them in different ways, and thus have different relationships and impact the story in different ways. You can't just smush them together, it doesn't work. It's bad writing that is going to really wreck a lot of the future storytelling in some key ways. It shows a stunning lack of care towards not just a pre-existing Black character, but a Black character the writers themselves created as well, along with a lack of creativity and imagination on their part, and overall laziness that was already a bit present in season 1 but got kicked into overdrive in season 2 and has become endemic to this show overall. It's bad, it's dumb, it's lazy, it's borderline racist, and I don't like it.
(also there's a potent symbolism in rhaena's dragon hatching on its own and that she's called morning, after the dance killed so many dragons and created so much death and doom for house targaryen and the survivors that remain, but fuck the symbolism too i guess)
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colubrina · 8 months
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idk if you have a TikTok or if you keep up with the HP fandom over there; but apparently manacled by SenLinYu was posted on Amazon for purchase (not by the author). It’s since been removed but was up for more than a couple days. And there were individuals on TikTok that just didnt understand why others were getting so upset. Like let’s disregard the fact that someone other than the original author profiting off this work, but I actually saw people that were very firm in the belief that they could sell fanfic. Whether that be through book binds, cases like this, or commissions/Patreon. I’m an elder gen Z, and I remember coming into the fanfiction spaces pretty early on maybe like 07-08?? I think I was 9-10 reading HP fics on fanfiction.net and very vividly remember everyone being super specific about “this is not my sandbox, I’m just playing around” or “If you recognize anything, it doesn’t belong to me”. So I’m always surprised by people that really don’t see a problem with it. I’ve even seen people claim that it will either fall within the limits of fair use or that it would be a PR nightmare for someone to go after someone. I guess I was 1.) just wanting to rant about how shortsighted I think it was to someone that was around in fanfic space before 2015 and 2.) get thoughts from an author that I feel like has had several popular/successful fics in the fandom.
Yeah, I've got a TikTok. I never post anything, but I try to share anything people make that's nice about my old fics. I always have this half-assed feeling like I should make things but I don't. (https://www.tiktok.com/@colubrina_)
2. Congrats to Senlinyu on her book deal - very cool!
3. And yeah, I saw that people were doing that, and I wish I was surprised but I'm not. There's always been a not-insignificant part of the dramione fandom that sees the fics as 'belonging to the fandom.' They will post them on sites where the author doesn't want them. They will host PDFs online even when you directly ask them not to. They will rehost fics authors have taken down, orphaning them on AO3 so they can't be stopped. They don't see it as stealing because they see the fics as public property. It was probably just a matter of time before they started trying to host them on Amazon. It's frustrating for sure, but it does feel a bit like 'here we go again.' It certainly doesn't fall under fair use, and I think Manacled might be one of the very few fics that will have a legal department eager to keep it offline so the publisher can make their money from it, but other people will be less fortunate. Fic has become enough of a part of the ecosystem it's not at any kind of risk as an artform. But, yeah, it sucks. Be nice to your authors. Respect their wishes. Don't do this shit.
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faeiri-tft · 11 months
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PLEASE do the toontown online rant i want it so badly
this post kinda got away from me, and by "got away from me" i mean this 3000 word toontown rant is Part One. there will be a Part Two to this later in which i actually talk about the fanservers i wanted to talk about. anyway let's go
toontown online (tto) was a children's mostly-turn-based subscription MMO released in 2003. after a few years of obviously being on life support, disney gave a one-month notice that tto (and several other games) would be closing on september 19th, 2013. on the same day the game closed, the fan-run server toontown rewritten (ttr) was announced (with multiple other fanservers/fangames/reimaginings being established since), and is a few months away from outliving the original game
see, one thing about tto that allowed fanservers to crop up so quickly and easily was that it had, um, interesting choices. very interesting choices. like, "kids could use a code injector to turn their backyards into giant mashed-together nightmarescapes"-level choices
youtube
(loose video description: a rabbit toon running around a chaotic mismash of rooms, obstacles, and npcs that Should Not Be There. audio caption: Evanescence's "Bring Me To Life".)
but ok let's talk about the actual game first.
toontown online (tto)
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the game starts with you creating your player character - you can pick from eventually-9 species, a couple body types, and 2 dozen preset colors. the gender code is a spaghetti nightmare but you won't learn this until the fanservers come about so don't worry about it. you're then taken to the Toontorial, which explains maybe 20% of the game's mechanics before setting you loose into the main game
the toontorial also gives you the basic "plot", such as it is: Toontown is suddenly* under attack by a bunch of boring businessrobots called the Cogs. their goal is to turn toontown into a dreary gray featureless corporate hell; their business activities are so boring that they're physically painful to be around. luckily, they can't take a joke, so the toons have figured out how to defeat them: by playing pranks on them until they laugh so hard they Explode
*originally, the game installer had a little animation giving a backstory for the Cogs' creation. this was never referenced in game, removed pretty quickly, and i think even the devs kinda forgot it existed
that's...pretty much the whole story! in that context, your toon progresses through all of toontown, helping some mostly-pretty-interchangeable shopkeepers, reclaiming buildings from the cogs, eating ice cream, etc. occasionally, the cogs would Come Up With New Tricks (read: major content update) and the toons would Find A Way To Fight Back (read: same major content update). that was the closest thing to Plot, unless you count "the devs scheduled a bunch of invasions of high-tier cogs right before the game's closure". but...i doubt most the kids really expected a Plot. mickey mouse was there
the gameplay:
the Free Account
there were two...pretty different approaches to playing toontown online. when the game launched, there was a 3-day free trial to the entire game, after which you got kicked entirely until you subscribed. at some point, this was changed so that the first area, Toontown Central (TTC), was Always Free - you could do all of that area's quests/"taskline" and limited activities, indefinitely, and in theory this would make you beg your parents for the rest of the game
i have no idea if this actually got more subscriptions or not. from what i can tell it just spawned more warrior cats
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(source)
there were. a Lot of warrior cats. there were some other social activities, too, such as Fashion Shows (with your limited range of clothes) and Begging Subscribed Players To Summon Cog Buildings To TTC and Getting Chat Banned. ...however, as one of the subscription kids i didn't really interact with this side of the game, so i'm not the best person to talk about it
2. the Paid Account
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mmm look at those crisp clear graphics. hell yes
a subscription account gave you access to this whole map, along with all these areas' tasklines. to progress through the game, you must complete a variety of "ToonTasks" for the Toon Resistance (it's called that. their catchphrase is "Toons of the World, Unite!". you were giving disney money for this). these reward you by increasing your max health (your "Laff Points"), slowly unlocking more combat options, and sending you to different, higher-difficulty areas of toontown
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some of these tasks were...longer than others. generally, though, they all boiled down to: "just go fight some cogs"
combat:
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(source)
toontown battles are turn-based: the players use their attacks ("gags") first, and then any surviving cogs attack you with, usually, office equipment and puns thereof (unless the cog is e.g. a Loan Shark, in which case they can just fucking bite you). if you defeat a cog, it explodes; if the cog defeats you, you "go sad" and are sent back to the safety of the playground, lose your gag inventory, and can't leave until you heal.
early on, most your battles are 1v1, but later on almost everything is a multiplayer 4-ish-v-4.
an...interesting feature here in the game's early days was that you could only Type Your Own Words to someone who shared their "friend code" with you IRL. otherwise, you had to use this thing:
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(source)
you had a set list of phrases you could string together, which generally covered most the things you wanted to say. but it could get frustrating when you wanted to have a real conversation with your toontown friends! so...as the source above mentions, people obviously found ways around the system. turns out that if you let players move objects around their houses, they will use that to Draw Letters and pass their friend code along regardless
eventually - before the warrior cats, of course - disney presumably realized this system was pretty goofy (🥁) , so the game got a real chat, albeit one that functioned on a very strict whitelist. my favorite is that it didn't let you type numbers, however you could just say won too tree for hive etc. like. disney i really don't know what to tell you. anyway
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(isn't he charming)
cogs come in levels 1-12, with levels displayed above their heads, and as you'd expect their damage output and HP increase with their level. however, the game doesn't...actually show you cog HP? instead they have a little colored light on their chest that fades from green to red until they explode. you see numbers on all the damage you do, and you see your own HP/laff, but never the cogs'. also lategame cogs are Too Tall For You To See Their Level once they line up for battle (which isn't actually that bad but it's funny). there's a formula for HP per level, but it's never mentioned in-game. i guess someone can teach it to you but then you have to watch them type "a level tin cog has won tree too health" and is that really worth it
(as you can tell i just…don't get this. "my kid is practicing arithmetic with toontown!" - marketing angle expressly denied by god. the stealth edutainment was right there)
anyway! in theory, you have seven base combat options ("gag tracks"), which combine in a variety of ways:
toon-up, which restores your teammates' health;
trap, which does guaranteed high damage but only if someone uses lure;
lure, which stuns the cogs for a few turns and is the only way to make trap work
sound, which does low damage to every cog;
throw, which does medium-high-ish damage to one cog; multiple throws combined give percentage combo damage, and hitting a lured cog will also add percentage "knockback damage";
squirt, which is exactly like throw but less damage;
and drop, which does high damage but cannot hit lured cogs, and has low accuracy unless you hit the cog with something else first
each gag track has 6 levels, which you unlock by using that gag track a bunch. you can't carry as many of the high levels with you - i mean, putting one piano in your backpack makes perfect sense, but two is just silly, right
a few years into the game's lifespan, level 7s were added - these were huge AOE that you could regain with every 500 track EXP. there was also something called "organic gags" to promote the please-log-in-every-day gardening system
every player starts with throw and squirt, and throughout the game you slowly unlock four more gag tracks. your choices are permanent: once you have your six tracks, you're locked out of the seventh forever.
in theory, all of this opens up a huge variety of combat options!
in practice, the battle strategy looks something like this:
use sound
as mentioned, almost all of lategame will be 4v4 battles, which means sound will almost always outdamage everything on earth. you don't even need four foghorns (the highest normal sound gag) to break 200 AOE damage, and the highest health a cog EVER has is 200*. and two of the boss battles can reward you with gag restocks and heals that you can use mid-battle with no consequences (other than having to grind for those rewards a bunch). and failing THAT, you can just...ration your foghorns and take 2 turns to clear a set of cogs, interspersed with healing.
(*okay there was something called "v2.0 cogs" but they were...strange, and we just used sound anyway)
sure, once level 7s were added you could use those occasionally. and you could fall back on lure+throw if you didn't want to use your sound restocks. but even then, for most of tto's existence there was something called the "knockback bug" which. well. just look at it
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(link for transcript. it's tvtropes sorry)
if you are a target-audience eight-year-old this translates to "lure + throw will only do enough damage if the cogs Feel like it." like it's really just insult to injury at this point. this was the result of One misplaced variable and was not fixed until the game closed
in the tto era, if you didn't have sound, you were kinda doomed to be kicked out of every fight forever
(bonus fun fact: there were Four entire battle themes and they were 40-second midi loops. let me out)
the bosses:
each of the four cog departments has a Boss Cog. to face off against them, you have to assemble a cog disguise and collect enough merits/stock options/whatever to be allowed into the boss's office.
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(pictured: your convincing disguise)
when you enter, your disguise pops off due to Reasons, and you have to fight through...a bunch of waves of normal cogs. it's basically a really long normal battle. once the minions are dealt with, you have to, inexplicably, do a live-action battle against the boss themself:
youtube
(loose video description: four toons defeating the CFO by using magnet cranes to hit him in the face with safes for 32 seconds.)
the live-action rounds aren't supposed to go this quickly, but it's still...kinda strange? certain reoccurring game areas require Parkour, but there are no battles like this outside of the Four bosses. the CFO's room is the only place you see these cranes and they have A Lot Going On. the other 3 bosses have their own unique weird mechanics. before the first boss was added we neither had nor needed the ability to Jump. it's just weird
once you've defeated the boss, you're given a reward of varying usefulness (the best/most unbalanced reward type is Unites, which are a free heal or gag restock you can do inside or outside of battle. essentially lategame toons can simply choose not to die. riv2u etc.)
and, um. then you get some more merits/stock options/whatever and do it again. and again. and again. and again. and agai
the grind:
so the thing is that tto was a subscription mmo. every addition to the game had to be measured, above all, in terms of "how can we best get kids to beg their parents to give us money." this especially shows in the suit grind:
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(source/source)
you have to defeat each boss 78 times in order to get all their laff points - and as you proceed, you have to defeat an increasing amount of cogs to even be allowed into the boss (although once you max you get in for free).
by far the easiest way is to run through the designated HQ facilities - basically, cog fights interspersed with some platforming or minigames. you only collect your merits/whatever at the Very End of the facility. the only way to increase what a facility gives you is if your last battle ends during an "invasion" - a timed period where One Specific Cog replaces all street cogs, usually summoned with boss rewards.
the sellbot HQ grind isn't so bad. bossbot HQ - the endest-game HQ - frequently requires you to do an hour-long facility and on six separate occasions you have to do seven of them. if the invasion ends before your final battle, you have to sit around until someone summons another. if you lose your internet connection because it's 2008, or if your parents make you come to dinner, or if hacking or the game's general bugginess cause a server reset because you're probably in the busiest district for the invasion bonus, you have spent that Entire Hour On Nothing. the CEO (bossbot cog boss) probably also takes an hour because you and your fellow players are 10
this shit, combined with laff points locked behind gardening (time-gated), racing and golfing (multiplayer minigames with absurd requirements), and fishing (RNG-based with some fish being absurdly rare. i watched my mom fish for one every day for a month), meant that maxing a toon took Years, if you managed it ever.
it wasn't, um. it wasn't good
ok so what else is wrong with this game:
i had "aged out of the game" (lol) by the early '10s, so i'm not the best person to do a writeup of the hacking/scripting situation of those days. that said, what i'm going to do is give you a few examples, and i want you to just...look at them
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(source)
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(source). early '10s youtube was funny i'm trying to decide if i miss it
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(source). fun thing to note here is that other players had collision, so a swarm of t-posing toons could just barricade the gag shop if they wanted to
youtube
(video description: toon who has Replaced His Head Model With An Anime Logo throwing thousands of jellybeans at everyone) (cw mild flashing just in case? and also the feather headband accessory)
i should note that the Bring Me To Life vid i started with was client-side, meaning only the player could see their technicolor hellscape. this guy's face was server-side. i do Not Think you should be able to do that
youtube
(video description: a player demonstrating use of a bot to get into the nutty river district, followed by other players using it to go to different game areas)
the above video was posted on august 17th, 2013. if you don't want to watch an Unregistered Hypercam 3 recording at about 5 frames per second, what's going on here is:
the player goes to a specific location and says a specific speedchat phrase.
a bot toon teleports to their location and provides some prompts on how to use it
the player tells the bot, via speedchat, to teleport to the (currently closed from the outside) busiest district so the player can follow
these "taxi toons" were server-sided, persisted across server resets, were made by a future fanserver dev, had younger kids referring to them as a "glitch" as if this were something that could Accidentally Happen, and stayed functional until the game closed
like...a lot of the "hacking" was just baby's first script download. this one - afaict also created by the laughing man head guy - is like...the fact that after years of no substantial game updates, someone effectively programmed their own "QOL feature" (note: not actually good for the poor mid-00s server being turned into a clown car) into a silly disney MMO and it just fucking sat there for a year is just. it's just.
i don't know what this is. this is not Playing The Game Toontown Online. this is nothing. this is everything. there are comments from 2013 on some of these videos saying stuff like "hackers killed toontown", but your game cannot have this happen if it is not already dying
and, like...it was. i'm not sure how many moderators there were by this point, but at the very end of tto, the number of active devs was One. the original devteam recently brought this up at the 20th anniversary celebration: devs just...slowly started getting pulled from the game, one at a time. there were a few updates after bossbot HQ - Field Offices, which i've basically never heard anything good about in their tto form ever; the Silly Meter, a yearly event...thing whose main function was to add unskippable dancing-inanimate-object cutscenes to your street battles; Parties, which...yknow parties were okay actually. i accept parties. but they weren't exactly a Major Game Update like the ones that had come before. in 2011 we gained the ability to Wear Hats. in 2012 the test server got some actual QOL updates that never made it to the main game; the final test server update was some maintenance in february, and then nothing for 18 months. disney was not providing enough resources to address the scripting because disney was not providing enough resources to address toontown. imagine being the last dev standing on an MMO that was older than some of its players, was losing its business model to mobile gaming, and spent most of its life falling apart at the seams. just imagine it, for a second
it couldn't have kept going, not like this.
on august 20, 2013, the closing announcement came: we had a month left of toontown online. the test server shut immediately; subscription refunds went out, and the game became actually F2P for the month; the part of the announcement that went like "we're shifting our focus to other games!" made a bunch of twelve-year-olds hate club penguin as if club penguin wouldn't also close in a few years; all the holiday events went off at once; and...
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there wasn't a "thanks for playing!" popup. everyone online just got kicked, all at once. it was finally over
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hey wait.
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lastoneout · 24 days
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Something I've noticed that is like...concerning but also just really annoying about online discussions about basically any topic these days is something that probably already has a name but that for now I'ma call "death of nuance via strict binary thinking" which leads a lot of people to get very angry over the idea that two things can be true at once, or that bringing up someone else's problems does not overshadow or invalidate your own, or that you can uplift a group of people without tearing down another.
Because like, I've had this happen on several of my posts now, where I say a generally harmless, factual statement, and several people rush in to either outright accuse me of saying a different, more extreme statement or annoyingly "correct" me to fix the supposed ~dangerous implications~ of my words, which I'm not gonna lie is as infuriating as it is confusing.
I can't make a post about how sugar is one of the main things the human body runs on and thus trying to remove it entirely from your diet is dangerous and harmful without people showing up to be like "are you saying it's okay to eat an entire bag of sugar by the spoonful??" and "well if you ate nothing but oreoes and ice cream that would make you sick" even though that doesn't contradict or really have anything?? to do?? with my original statement??
I can't make a post talking about the issues men(trans or cis) face under the patriarchy without people showing up and getting mad at me for "making feminism about men" despite the fact that the majority of my feminist activism DOES center women and taking a moment to explore the ways the patriarchy harms us all in no way harms women. And I can't make a post pointing out that marginalized men, especially black, disabled, and fat men often have malice read into their very existence and maybe that's bad without people showing up to get mad at me for saying marginalized men are incapable of harm which is not what I said at all.
And this one is a bit different but still one I see a lot, which is an over-correction seeped in the idea that we can only uplift one group at a time, or if x group is good y group must be bad. Like I am all for pointing out that there's nothing wrong with not wearing makeup and having body hair and not wearing deodorant, and women who live like that are fine and valid and can still be seen as sexy and desirable, and yes there ARE things to critique about the beauty industry for sure...but then that manifests into thinking women who do shave and wear makeup and deodorant are ugly or weird or brainwashed and should be mocked, which..no? Or when the dialog shifted to talking about fat people being hot suddenly we had a lot of people acting like skinny women were ugly and weird when that actually doesn't help with fat liberation AT ALL.
(Also just to clarify I think the occasional joke about these topics is okay given how much mockery fat, hairy, and non-feminine women get BUT there is a point when you go to far and some groups of people are racing over the line.)
And like yeah you could say the internet has always been this way but there's been a real noticeable uptick in progressive leftists coming at complex issues with this kind of no-nuance thinking, when it used to be something I really only saw from conservatives. I'd see stuff like "well feminism is bad because men also have problems" and "oh black lives matter? are you saying other lives don't??" and "oh you think drug addicts aren't inherently dangerous well what about the ones who DO hurt people" or "we can't talk about trans women's issues that would take away from talking about cis women's problems" and "we can't have a fat character that's glorifying ob*sity" and we used to MOCK them for that shit. This was seen as RIDICULOUS and was generally considered a conversation ender because it's clear the people doing it aren't actually interested in having a conversation they just want to yell at you for something you didn't say or pull a huge "I am uncomfortable when we are not about me" which just...ough please stop.
So seeing like actual progressive people pull this shit is really weird and it happens so often I legit can't ignore it anymore. I don't really have a solution, but I just feel like some of us really need to wrap our heads around the idea that just because someone said one thing doesn't mean they're saying this other thing too. Which, when you put it like that, sounds like the kind of thing you learn in kindergarten but I digress. Someone saying it's okay to eat sugar, your body actually needs it, isn't necessarily saying it's okay to eat so many oreoes you get sick(or excluding diabetics or being a corn lobby apologist or whatever the hell else people on that post are accusing me of). Someone bringing up the ways the patriarchy hurts people who aren't women isn't making feminism about men or saying women don't have problems. Trans men talking about their issues isn't implying anything about trans women just like bisexuals or asexuals talking about their issues isn't taking space away from allo gay people. Someone talking about how assuming marginalized men are threats when they're just existing is bad and gets innocent people killed isn't saying OJ Simpson did nothing wrong.
Two things can be true at the same time. Nuance is important and making space to talk about one thing isn't taking away from someone else. There's no contest, no slippery slope so dangerous we can't even state facts, no pie you have to fight over. Oppression isn't a math problem where whatever you do to one side of the equation must be done to the other or a scale that can't be balanced. This kind of thought process isn't productive and will not lead to a better, more equal world. Just one where someone else is wearing the boot.
Just...idk please just stop coming onto posts assuming the worst, doing bad faith readings and then getting pissed about something the person didn't say, assuming someone else getting a seat at the table means yours is in danger, being so desperate to be a good ally that you start doing lateral violence and calling it punching up, and just full on stealing conservative talking points and argument styles and trying to make them progressive.
We're supposed to be better than this. That's all I've got really, we're just supposed to be better than this. And while I don't always engage with people like this for obvious reasons, I'd like to think they aren't beyond saving and maybe this post can change a few minds. You guys aren't wrong to be angry and want to help and protect people who need it, but this is not the way to go about it and it never will be.
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genericpuff · 8 months
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Why is the art so unappealing in lore Olympus now Persephone looks like a highlighter and maybe it’s just me but the proportions like the fingers in arms are soul over the place I don’t think they used to be this bad. Am I just looking at it with nostalgia or am I crazy ?
Honestly, nostalgia does play a huge part in it, even to this day there are times I look back on old S1 panels and go-
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Actually here's a great example that literally just happened yesterday in the ULO Discord that nearly had me on the floor LOL This is from Episode 70:
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Like I didn't even believe that that was real until I was told what episode it was from and I was just. Astounded and flabbergasted. The over-shading of the blanket that just makes it look like a really bad edit. Insane.
And yeah, there are a lot of old panels that hit different now that the rose-colored glasses have been removed, crushed, and thrown into the trash compactor.
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I think that's why it makes it all the more amusing when people come into my inbox and ask me "wait, why did you like LO to begin with?? It's always been ugly as shit, I think you're just romanticizing it" because like... there's something to be said about art and subjectivity, even if something is ugly to one person doesn't mean it isn't beautiful to someone else. It's why I try not to be too mean towards the fans of this comic for still enjoying it, because while I definitely have strong opinions about how "LO has gotten worse" and what kind of following Rachel has cultivated (cough cough), there are also just as equally valid arguments that LO has never begin good to begin with that I can't necessarily disagree with now that I'm looking back on it with a more critical eye.
That said, there's tons of media that I enjoy that is objectively awful. Like y'all, you don't need to take my opinions about a dumb pink x blue fantasy romance comic seriously, I like Starfox Adventures-
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Like yeah it's a badly made rushed piece of shit that was developed right on the ass end of Rare's glory days and was really an original IP (Dinosaur Planet) that got Frankenstein'd into a Starfox game so it could "sell better" for Nintendo, but I don't give a fuck, I love Starfox Adventures and some day I wanna be in the top 10 speedrunner leaderboards for it, which I know doesn't mean much because no one is speedrunning Starfox, but I do and no one can take that away from me dammit-
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Anyways. Lore Olympus has, in many regards, always had "bad art". But "bad art" can and should still be enjoyed by those who find joy in it.
And in LO's case, the world it existed in when it launched was a lot smaller than it is now - more specifically, the world of Webtoons. We can look back and see how 'bad' LO looks and reads now because there are genuinely way better comics surrounding it. It was unique and refreshing and experimental back then... now it's just "that stupid blue and pink comic for horny teenagers".
In most cases I would consider that "cringing in hindsight" feeling a good thing because normally it means something has grown and that it seeming "bad" in hindsight would mean that it's outgrown itself and moved onto bigger things. But LO has the more unique problem of "its current stuff is shit and it's making us want the old stuff more, even if the old stuff wasn't good either". In that regard, LO is closer to being like Harry Potter. Remember when The Cursed Child came out at the height of Rowling being exposed for being a TERF and even people who liked Harry Potter didn't like The Cursed Child because it was just objectively worse overall (with or without Rowling's bullshit attached)? It made a lot of people go back and re-read / rewatch Harry Potter with a more objective lens and go "wait a minute guys, I think we only adored these books so much because we were 12 when we read them". Often times it's the good memories we have surrounding certain things that make us have the opinion about them that we do.
Of course, LO is definitely not as politically weaponized as Harry Potter is, so that's where that comparison ends. But my point is that LO is definitely in a situation where it's been riding off the same privileges it had back in 2018 - having an 'experimental' art style while also utilizing tropes and characters that were VERY popular at the time (remember that 2017-18 was when Tumblr was at its height of H x P "Hades was a chill accountant guy who wore socks and sandals and didn't cheat on his wife like Zeus did" fantasizing) - and thinks that those same tricks and tropes will still work today.
Because of this, the art in LO really, really hasn't aged well, even the stuff that we look back on fondly. But I think it's the panels that we specifically think of when remembering "old LO" - the ones that stuck in our memories the most - that are the ones that make us miss or just not care about the panels that don't look good (the panels that make people question why we ever liked it to begin with).
We liked it because of how it made us feel to look at panels like these-
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Those genuinely wonderful panels that we think back on the most don't exist separately from the bad panels, they exist in spite of them. Even if we can look back on panels like these and pick out problems in the lineart or the proportions or the color travelling outside of the lines, that can't and shouldn't change how those panels made us feel at some point or another. And that's why when people ask me "why were you even into LO in the first place" I don't have any one answer, because I can't fully explain how something made me feel to justify why it's good to someone who can see from the outside - without rose-colored glasses - that it evidently isn't. It's very much a "you had to be there" type of thing.
Unfortunately, nowadays even the 'best' LO panels in S3 still don't come close to what the S1 panels accomplished - because for many of us, the rose-colored glasses are gone, we can't appreciate the good among the bad because we know now how bad it truly is and so the good just feels like wasted attempts at trying to recreate something it can no longer be. It "came back wrong" so to speak.
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LO came back just regular. But our journey to resurrecting it changed us to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to us. Sorry dude.
This is still probably one of my favorite panels out of the entirety of S3 for being as close to "old LO" as I've seen since S2, and even it feels like a mistake, an accident, how could a panel like this exist in S3 when so much of it is a dumpster fire? It's like a flower growing in the ruins of an apocalyptic wasteland.
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But wasn't that always the case? Isn't that 'always' what LO has been, since the very beginning? A poorly cobbled together mess of writing and panels that, every now and then, manages to leave an impression that makes you feel something? Did we ever truly know LO? Or have we just been relying entirely on an idea of it that we've built up in our heads that when it does do exactly what it's evidently always done (even if not made apparent until looking back on it in hindsight) we think it "came back wrong"?
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ahiwicave · 26 days
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another discord drama post
Hi, Hiwi here. One of the mods from the Nevermore Discord server. You may recognize my name because I was put on blast and accused of some heinous things in the whole drama. I didn’t want a tumblr and didn’t want to have to do this, but I see some people are never going to let it go. Just to share some thoughts, from someone who was actually involved in everything:
Crimson did stuff in a side server, and the mod team acted swiftly in the moment we learned of it, even though it was not done inside the server we were modding
Months after an appeal was considered. The original evidence was tampered with, and the person who originally shared it with a third party was banned later for harassing and baiting other users with alts. This included being blatantly xenophobic towards me with an alt account.
The mod team (not Red) decided that a probation period could be extended since we had no other witnesses to inquire about it. 
Crimson came back, and this caused a lot of new witnesses to come out publicly. We were shocked when so many people had new information about this, as we had only the aforementioned evidence to go off of beforehand
Crimson was banned again within the hour. No NSFW was ever shared in the Nevermore Discord.
That should’ve been it, really. A lesson learned for the mod team. But it was not enough for some people.
The tumblr call out came long after the situation had been dealt with. The drama was exaggerated, with tons of misinformation and downright savage hate, blaming Red for things she never did or never were about her. Lots of people who had issues before (and unrelated to the Crimson situation) jumped on the chance to continue their beef, adding a lot of noise and ridiculous accusations, muddying the waters for everyone. 
Red was not the person who took the decisions for any of this, and shouldn't have been held accountable for something that happened outside our scope. People should've used the proper Discord channels to report Crimson’s  behavior happening outside the Nevermore server. Discord is the only entity that can truly stop an account in every server, actually keeping everyone safe. Every social media has the option to report accounts, and getting those people completely off the platform is way more effective than just removing them from a single server. 
Still, Red apologized. People that don't think it's a good apology are people that are still blaming Red for things she didn't do.
Red’s apology had a lot of context, because people decided to take everything outside of Discord and paint it in the worst possible light. A lot of people commenting were posing like innocent bystanders adding to the flames, when in reality they were already involved, and it was necessary to point them out.
Sharing the discord nicknames of people involved is not putting anyone in danger, no matter what their age is. It's not any real name or address. The same people claiming this puts them in danger had apparently no fear of confirming "yes that's me” when the information given was not getting tied back to them.
This whole tumblr thing highlighted how Red and Flynn shouldn’t be trying to mod the community, which has grown a lot more than we expected when the server was first created. They wisely decided to step back to focus on just creating Nevermore.
So Red and Flynn decided to step out, leaving the modding to over 10 people. They've not participated in the mod decisions taken since the server reopened with a new mod team, over a month ago.
Many of the people involved in the Tumblr callouts and harassment were allowed back into the server, despite publicly participating in smearing the server, the creators, and me. 
The new mod team is still figuring out the best way to mod a community this big. We want to prioritize safety while still having a chill atmosphere people can enjoy. 
The reopening brought changes to the rules and the security in the server. This included taking on onboarding, as well as required phone verification, and new rules about modding outside issues.
We started with the strict policy of no ban will be appealed. This is because giving people second chances is what caused the Crimson situation. It will probably be revisited as we continue learning and deciding what's the best approach to mod the community.
People that were involved in the tumblr discourse continued breaking the rules inside the server. We want to move on from this and letting it fester inside the server would not allow the community to heal and grow. They were warned, and a lot of them continued trying to bait for more drama, so then we banned them. There is no such thing as “banned without reason”, just “banned for a reason the user doesn’t agree with”. 
Banned people are not owed explanations or second chances. If there is no appeal, there is no reason to discuss it further with them. If you’ve been banned from a space, you’re not a good match for it. I personally would not like to go back to a place that banned me, for whatever reason. Being banned is not the end of the world, the community is far bigger than the discord server and your friends exist outside of it, too. 
It's truly mind blowing to learn tumblr is at it again. We removed Crimson immediately, Red and Flynn are no longer modding, the mod team tripled in size, there is more security in the server, and we’re actively working on making things better and opened everything up for suggestions from the users in the Discord. We’re all doing our best to avoid a situation like Crimson happening ever again.  
People who publicly claimed to leave the fandom and left/were banned from the server continue being hung up on it. Please move on. You've said multiple times how much you don't like it here. You don't want to be here, we don't want you here. Stop spreading your toxicity in a tag where people just want to move on and enjoy fan content.
You are allowed to stop supporting or enjoying anything for whatever reason. No one is forcing you to remain in the Nevermore community. 
You don’t have to ruin it for everyone on the way out. Turning on other people and harassing bystanders just because they don’t join your hate train is wild. 
Stop blaming Red and Flynn for the actions of a mod team. Your personal vendetta against creators that are just trying to write a story you claimed to enjoy is getting out of hand. Please move on, for your own mental health and everyone else’s. 
I will go back to Discord now, I just wanted to clear up some things for anyone getting bombarded by the misinformation. I hope this is the last of irrelevant Discord stuff muddying up this tag, and you all can go back to enjoying art, theories, and memes.
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