#this 10 gif limit is bananas

[dreamjupiter]

i'm a sucker for these two in their husbands era

[lttl3babybug]

Do you have any regressor Nightcrawler headcanons?

YEAESYESTWSYESTES

sorry. I’m a really normal person about Kurt, I promise.

Regressor!Nightcrawler Headcanons

🫐Kurt regresses from 1-8. So much baby fits into that little guy

🫐If he’s regressed smaller he is a picky eater and I mean as picky as picky can be

🫐When hes 6-8 though? That little guy will eat handfuls of dirt if left unattended

🫐He has done that. On multiple occasions.

🫐He’s a padded baby and cautionary kid, having someone watch him every 5 seconds so he doesn’t eat dirt or have an accident

🫐Very much likes building blocks, like the wooden ones

🫐Builds towers and just stares at them

🫐He will sit for hours watching the blocks do nothing like 0_o

🫐It’s quite cute actually, and slightly disturbing

🫐He is a cuddle bug, bamfing into your arms every chance he gets

🫐He gets along with other regressors but prefers to be with just his cg/sitter when baby

🫐Especially because they knock down his block towers (Logan)

🫐But it’s mainly cause he can only say limited words and mainly babbles or whines

🫐Baby Kurt is bottle fed and he loves it, he gets to cling to his cg while they feed him and run their fingers through his hair

🫐He loves being swaddled and carried

🫐Just being carried in general

🫐He will lay on the floor and whine to be picked up despite being table to teleport

🫐Toddler/kid Kurt is like the textbook definition of feral toddler

🫐He is outside. Do not bring him inside.

🫐He is in the dirt 90% of the time, he does outside all squeaky clean and comes back in with his fur mud clad and like 10 new bruises, cuts and bug bites

🫐He doesn’t even notice them till someone points them out

🫐Love hate relationship with plasters, on one hand he loves the fun designs but on the other hand ouchy they hurt when they rip his fur off while being taken off

🫐He’s a friend to the insects, showing his cg/sitter or friends all the caterpillars and beetles that crawl on him

🫐He is definitely more social as a kid/toddler, mainly cause he can form coherent sentences

🫐Prefers if his playmates are also in more of a toddler headspace but there’s been plenty of times the team have seen Kurt playing with baby Logan while using his tail to hold up a bottle or sippy cup for him

🫐He holds everything with his tail cause it leaves his hands free

🫐He’ll hold his sippy cup with it so he can use both hands to make mud pies or macaroni artwork

🫐His favourite snack, no matter how small or big he is, is bananas and yoghurt. Chopped bananas and yoghurt.

🫐He’s not prone to tantrums but that’s not to say he hasn’t thrown them

🫐He will yell and bite and oh good god do those bites hurt

🫐He has sharp little fangs that will make whoever he’s bitten bleed

🫐He’ll bamf away till someone finds him and puts him in time out

🫐He cries the whole time he’s in time out, sitting on a chair in the naughty corner

🫐He will very sincerely apologise to anyone he bit or yelled at while crying

🫐Might even make them a drawing or a colouring page as an apology gift

🫐He will also tail behind them with his tail between his legs and ears dropped

🫐Despite being able to communicate better while regressed older he will revert to German sometimes and gets very frustrated when the others don’t automatically know what he’s saying

🫐He really likes toy cars and rolling them at people so they roll them back to him

[reginageorgesgirlfriend3020]

Mean girls dating and girlfriend headcannons (Part 3)

Regina George:

At the school talent show you sang a song dedicated to your girlfriend Regina called She’s so mean by Matchbox 20.

She just chewed on her bubblegum but at the same time she fell in love with the way you sang to her. Shen gently booped her head to the song but couldn’t keep her eyes off you

And the way you sang “And then she’s calling you baby, craazzyyyy”. And that was it. She fell in love with you

After your performance she said “Love you whore. Good job”

Your third was at a movie theater where she held you the entire time and secretly loved it

Cady Heron:

She knows just how to cheer you up when you feel anxious

She holds you and gently rubs your back

She’s very wise

She always says “our past mistakes won’t matter 10 years or even 20 years from now. It’ll be just a forgotten distant memory much like the limit we learned about in class- it does not exist”.

She loves your singing Karaoke time in math class before and after math class

Your third date was at a place called Saver’s where you spent a couple hours shopping for new clothes just because

Every day she sees you and always says cheerfully, “You look so fetch!”

That’s her favorite word to you for her to use

When your aunt said she was gonna find out if you’re dating Gretchen and she was gonna see if you’ve been sleeping over her house Gretchen

Explained to her the consequences of potential stalking and harassment and your aunt had nothing to say so she left and said “Have fun with Gretchen”

She always has your back no matter. She’s a sweet soul

Your second date was at an ice cream where you and Gretchen split a banana split

Karen Smith:

Always laughs at your jokes

No matter how bad

Calls you when you’re busy

Gives you a kiss everyday

Your second date was at a radio station where you worked and she accidentally spilled coffee on the audio mixer. And you said Next time she does that you’ll spill coffee on her head! You said over the phone and you hung up and she made this face (See gif above)

Janis Ian

She HATES listening to rap music

Hates hip hop music

Likes some R&B music

Fiercely protects you

She will fight for you and stand up for you

Your second date was at a rock concert and you and Janis kissed for the first time and she asked you to be her girlfriend and you said yes

[the-s1lly-corner]

THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS FLUFF ALPHABET

Deciding to do the fluff alphabet for TADC! Copying my list I did for the creepypasta alphabet with some tweaking/swapping out some of the letters for other prompts! More info under the cut regarding rules and the alphabet itself!

Same deal with wanting to do the entire circus + caine

You can request multiple characters, at the trade off that you can only choose less letters

1 character: any number of letters, yes including the whole alphabet

2 characters: 10 letters max

3 characters: 6 letters max

4 characters (max): 5 letters max

Obviously you can request multiple times! This is just per ask + I trust you guys wont go bananas

Same deal as normal requests, dont pressure me to do yours faster since its demotivating, I tend to usually do my requests in order of when they were sent

Now onto the list!

(A)bstract- how would they feel if you abstracted?

(B)onding- how they spend their time with you + general activities ?

(C)uddling- who's the big/little spoon? Do they like cuddling? How often do you guys cuddle?

(D)ates- ideal dates? What do you guys do in the circus, since its limited?

(E)motion- who's the more emotional one? How emotional are they in terms of the relationship?

(F)amily- if they ever escape the circus, and you two meet again, would they want a family with you?

(G)ift- how often do they give gifts? Do they themselves like receiving gifts?

(H)arsh- how often do you guys get into arguments? Who makes up first?

(I)n house adventure- do they pair up with you during Caines activities? How successful would you guys be at achieving the final goal?

(J)ealousy- are they a jealous partner? By how much, how do they get when they're jealous? How do they handle it?

(K)iss- where do they like to kiss/be kissed? Do they enjoy it?

(L)ove Laungage: how do they express their love to you/what makes them feel loved?

(M)ended- if you abstracted but somehow came back, how would they feel?

(N)O- dealbreakers? What could prevent or ruin a relationship with them?

(O)ddity- what is a quirk of theirs? Habit? The like?

EDIT I FORGOT P- PDA!

(Q)uiet time- how do you two spend moments of silence? Is it uncomfortable?

(R)oses- do they give you flowers? If so what kind? Do they like receiving flowers?

(S)HH- secrets! Do they keep secrets from you?

(T)unes- what is "your song" that you two share?

(U)pset- how do they get when they're/you're upset, what do they do about it?

(V)alentine- while it's hard to keep track of time in the circus, what would they do for you for the holiday?

(W)ant- what do they want in a relationship?

(X)oxo- small acts of love, what do they do?

(Y)earn- how do they cope with separation?

(Z)zz- sleep, if they can sleep in the circus, what would it be like to share a bed with them?

[randomingoftherandomness]

Your top 10 c-actors and top 10 c-actresses?

Oooo hm. I'll be honest with you and say that I don't actually watch as much Chinese dramas as people might think haha... It takes a very special premise to pull me in and even then, I usually don't end up liking 70% of whatever is on and abandoning it by the 3rd episode.

That said, I'm going to limit my picks to the top 5 off the top my head in each category. These are actors and actresses who, by virtue of their names being attached to a project, will get me interested in making it to episode 5 and of whom I have watched more than 2 projects that they've been a part of.

Actors

Leo Wu

Our family's Fei Liu 🥰 I know, I know. Didi is the furthest thing from Fei Liu these days, but in my mind, he'll forever be Fei Liu and there's a huge part of me that will always adore him for that. Throughout the years, his projects have been a hit or a miss with me. Either I'll like them or I won't. Which is what I like. I don't want to like everything my faves are part of.

Joseph Zeng

(Look at that happy baby hahaha)

I can't remember which project I first saw him in, or how he even pinged on my radar. But before I knew it, I'd watched three of his dramas and I was about to watch more.

Qin Hao

THIS. DUDE. He's such a powerhouse of an actor and I AM--

He chooses some of the most intense projects and I'm so, so here for them. There's this magnetic quality to the way he acts and every time I get to see him onscreen, I'm absolutely mesmerised. I also have to be honest and say that I haven't had a change to work through his body of work, but I think it's just a matter of time (and mental space) before I do.

Liu Yuning

I believe some moots on this hellsite have had front row seats to my thirsting of this tall, thin, sassy da ge and I won't apologise for any of it. 100//10 would climb him in a heartbeat.

I fell for his voice first before I even knew his face (花开早 天知晓 天莫笑 天亦老~~!!!) and then I saw his face and BAM. Goner. Goodbye ovaries. You might be thinking, oh Gab you're just horny on main for him, to which I will say, yes, yes I am. Isn't that reason enough for me to have gone watch the variety show he was on WITHOUT SUBS. My banana ass went through a lot for this man ok? That's love.

Zhang Linghe

HIM. Saw him in Maiden Holmes. Watched how he acts with his eyes. Okay. Sold. Over the last couple of years, the one drama I really wanted to see him in was the TGCF live action adaptation, which as we all will know, won't be seeing the light of day any time soon. He was actually on my fancast list for Hua Cheng and I was pretty gratified when they announced that he was taking on the role.

He's been doing well for himself and I've liked him the dramas that have caught my eye, and I look forward to what he will bring to the table next. Even if he had been, unfairly in my opinion, saddled with this perception that his dramas have a difficult time getting to air.

Actress

Zhao Liying

Zhao Liying is someone with a face that is so sweet that you'd go into her projects thinking that she's going to portray one type of character then getting body slammed into a spiral of a drama length like The Story of Minglan.

Zhao Lusi

This woman is on track to being the best actress of her generation. Period. You can't fight me on this because you know I'm right.

She's an absolute powerhouse and there's this sense about her that she isn't afraid to get ugly, go roll in the mud and get dirty just to portray a character. I love that about her. There's just this sense of joy to watch her act because she's not just embodying the character, she IS the character. I wouldn't be surprised if her international audience reach is really big because it's what a Queen like her deserves.

Tian Xiwei

Now, she is someone that I never thought I would be into. But I think the dimples should have been a good indication that I was gonna get suckered into her projects and for that, I'm glad. I've only seen bits and bobs of three of her projects, but if the way that I am actually intrigued by the projects she takes on is any clue, I think I'll be sufficiently entertained.

Liu Mintao

Every time I see her, I wanna just be on my knees and call her Mother.

She is absolutely fantastic in every role she takes on. The gentle but steely Consort Jing in Nirvana in Fire? The nurturing and protective Ming Jing in The Disguiser? Check and Check. Love her. I low key think she's a chameleon. Her body of work speaks to the quality of her acting.

Esther Yu

(listen. LISTEN. I HAD TO INCLUDE ONE OF THE HOTTEST KISS SCENES IN CDRAMALAND THAT ISN'T A DEAD FISH LIPS SITUATION OK)

The first time she ever pinged on my radar, it was because of her antics with Lisa from Blackpink during her Produce days. Found her cute and endearing, but that was it. And then came Love Between Fairy and Devil. Without knowing, I fell in love with her charms. She is another actress I think isn't afraid to own being neck deep in the nitty and gritty and not looking perfect. I'm very interested to see what sort of projects she takes on, and judging by her Yun Weishan in My Journey to You, I think there'll be much to anticipate.

[darklydawnsthedrive]

List Of Episodes in a Order That Gives Slight Continuity

———— See Below

1. Darkly Dawns The Duck Pt.1

2. Darkly Dawns The Duck Pt. 2

3. That Sinking Feeling

4. Beauty and the Beet

5. Getting Antsy

6. Night of the Living Spud

7. Apes of Wrath

8. Dirty Money

9. Duck Blind

10. Comic Book Capers

11. Water Way to Go

12. Heavy Mental

13. Adopt-a-con

14. Paraducks

15. Easy Comes, Easy Grows

16. Negaduck

17. A Revolution in Home Appliances

18. Trading Faces

19. Hush, Hush Sweet Charlatan

20. Can’t Bayou Love

21. Tiff of the Titans

22. Bearskin Thug

23. Dry Hard

24. Sweat of Your Life

25. Film Flam

26. Whiffle while you work

27. Fungus Amongus

28. Jurassic Jumble

29. Something Fishy

30. A Star Is Scorned

31. Just Us Justice Ducks Pt. 1

32. Just Us Justice Ducks pt. 2

33. Double Darkwings

34. Slaves to Fashion

35. Aduckyphobia

36. When Aliens Collide

37. Days of Blunder

38. Cleanliness is Next to Badliness

39. Smarter then a speeding bullet

40. All’s Fahrenheit in Love and War

41. Calm a Chameleon

42. Ghoul of My Dreams

43. Battle of the Brainteasers

44. Bad Tidings

45. Toys Czar Us

46. The Secret Origins of Darkwing Duck

47. Up, Up, & Awry

48. Going Nowhere Fast

49. A Brush with Oblivion

50. Disguise the Limit

51. Planet of the capes

52. The Merchant of Menace

53. Darkwing Doubloon

54. It’s a Wonderful Leaf

55. Twitching Channels

56. Dances with Bigfoot

57. Twin Beaks

58. The Incredible Bulk

59. My Valentine Ghoul

60. Dead Duck

61. A Duck by Any Other Name

62. Let’s Get Respectable

63. In Like Blunt

64. Quack of Ages

65. Time and Punishment

66. Stressed to Kill

67. The Darkwing Squad

68. Inside Binkie’s Brain

69. The Haunting of Mr. Banana Brain

70. Slime Ok, You’re ok

71. Whirled History

72. U.F. Foe

73. Kung Fooled

74. Jail Bird

75. Bad Luck Duck

76. Monsters R Us

77. Dirty Something

78. Inherit the Wimp

79. The Revenge of the Return of the Brainteasers, Too!

80. Malice’s Restaurant

81. Quiverwing Quack

82. Life, The Negaverse, & Everything

83. Star Crossed Circuits

84. Clash Reunion

85. Steerminator

86. The Frequency Fiends

87. Paint Misbehavin’

88. Hot Spells

89. Fraudcast News

90. Mutancy on the Bouncy

91. Extinct Possibility

[abookishdreamer]

Character Intro: Eulabeia (Kingdom of Ichor)

Nicknames- Eula by her family

Scaredy Cat by Calleis

Age- 10 (immortal)

Location- Hearthwood neighborhood, New Olympus

Personality- She's a quiet empathetic cautious girl who always follows the rules. She dislikes spontaneity & is always mindful over the safety of others and those she cares about.

She has the standard abilities of a goddess except shapeshifting. As the goddess of caution she shares some abilities as her mother like having an innate danger sense & force field generation. Other abilities include limited pyrokinesis (her fire burns a soft orange-yellow) and limited vitakinesis (healing).

Eula lives with her family- her mother Soteria (goddess of safety), her father Ktesios (god of the household), and her older sister Eleos (Ellie) (goddess of mercy, pity, & compassion) at their house in the Hearthwood neighborhood of New Olympus. Eula's room is like a warm hug with a soft bed covered in thick quilts and blankets, an extensive collection of teddy bears, & lit aromatic candles.

She loves it when her dad makes his signature breakfast lasagna for breakfast. Most times she'll settle for a either a peanut butter & banana sandwich, a bowl of Earthly Harvest raisin crunch cereal, or a bowl of Golly Grains honey o's cereal. She'll also toast three frozen vanilla bean waffles before putting a bit of honey and pancake syrup on them before eating.

Lately Eula's been getting more responsibilty and chores around the house. Aside from cleaning her room & doing her own laundry, she's also responsible for cleaning the dog kennels, taking out the garbage, and taking out the smaller dogs out for walks as well as feeding them. She gets a weekly allowance.

A go-to drink for her is the banana pineapple smoothie from The Frozen Spoon. She also likes orange juice, sparkling water, apple soda, lemonade, iced tea, hot ginger tea, & ginger ale. A usual for her from The Roasted Bean is the small apple lychee splash.

Eula comes from quite the family background. On her father's side there's her Theía Hestia (goddess of the hearth), her Theíos Adranos (god of fire), her Yiayia Anchiale (Titaness of fire), & her beloved Pappoús Hecaterus (Titan god of manual labor). On her mother's side there's her uncle Soter (god of safety) and his daughters (her cousins) Arete (goddess of virtue, valor, & excellence), Homonoia (goddess of concord), and Calocagathia (Aggie) (goddess of nobility & goodness).

She's more closer to her father's side of the family since they're the ones Eula sees often- especially during the summer at the family vacation cabin house in the state of Argos.

She never rides her bike or electric scooter without wearing a helmet, elbow pads, & knee pads.

Eula attends an esteemed private school in New Olympus. She's made friends with a few other godly students in her grade like Melete (goddess of thought & meditation), Aidos (goddess of shame, modesty, humility, & respect), a few daughters of Selene (Titaness of the moon) like Ersa (goddess of morning dew), and Calleis (goddess of allurement). Eula is also friendly with Xenia (goddess of hospitality) who's a grade lower than her. She's aware of the godly third graders like Caerus (god of opportunity & luck), Myrízei (god of smell & gases), Paidia (goddess of play & amusement), Hebe (goddess of youth), Prophasis (goddess of excuses), Aceso (goddess of healing), Mneme (goddess of remembrance), and Physis (goddess of nature).

The friend group hang out together during lunch & sometimes afterschool when Eula hosts study group sessions at her house or at the public library. Even though she likes Calleis, she can't help but also feel intimidated by her- especially at how insecure she feels when Calleis teases her about her clothes & shyness.

At school Eula's favorite classes are literature, history, science, and home economics.

She first came into her powers one day where she was out with her sister. Eula noticed a small boy no older than three let go of his mother's hand while crossing the street to pick up a toy he dropped. Time for her slowed down when everything else was speeding up. Just as a speeding car was about to strike the child, Eula outstretched her arm, instinctively creating a force field.

Eula and her friends love stopping by at the nearby Bread Box afterschool where they all get the gourmet grilled cheese- bread grilled in rosemary garlic butter and loaded with sweet carmalized onions, and ooey gooey white cheddar & gruyere cheeses.

A guilty pleasure for her is the BLT hot dog from Olympic Chef.

For extracurriculars, Eula is currently taking tap dance lessons at the Art in Motion dance studio as well as flute lessons.

She thinks that her sister's friend Heimarmene (Marnie) (goddess of shared fate) is the most glamorous being she's ever seen!

Eulabeia is thinking about participating in her school's upcoming talent show, but is constantly changing her mind at the last minute, due to her stage fright.

In the pantheon she also looks up to and admires Eikono (goddess of iconography & literature); is also a huge fan of her books, Athena (goddess of wisdom), and her mom's best friend Aeschyne (goddess of modesty & honor).

She hates surprises, especially surprise parties.

Eula's favorite frozen treat is chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

For the upcoming Christmas, she secretly hopes to get the jeweled teddy bear shaped Diamond Ave. clutch. She nearly fainted when she discovered the 8,000 drachma price tag!

Eula dresses more for comfortability than style. Make-up is something she's intimidated by and not yet ready to explore so she never does more than clear lip gloss, light shades of nail polish, & tinted lip balm. She and her parents decided that she'll get her ears pierced when she turns thirteen.

She's been under the "unofficial" official mentorship of her aunt Hestia- even helping out sometimes at the bakery. Eula's favorite desserts there are the signature honey cake, glazed donuts, and sugar cookies. She also likes her grandmother's apple pie & her father's coffee cake!

Eula once shadowed her mom when her school had Career Day. To say it was hectic is an understatement, but it was a great learning experience as well!

She's looking forward to an upcoming camping trip with her grandfather and quietly loathing the first ever boy/girl part she's been invited to.

Eula can make a delicious tater tot casserole- seasoned ground beef, lots of melted cheddar cheese, green beans, then topped with golden brown crispy tater tots! The first dish she ever learned how to cook was honeyed roasted ham after being taught by her parents.

In her free time she has recently attended a candle making class! She also enjoys writing, knitting (with her mom, grandma, & sister), watching TV, playing football (soccer) (with her dad), reading, going to the park, jump rope, doing lanyard, going to the library, hanging out with friends, and baking.

Some of Eula's favorite meals include her grandfather's spanokopita, her grandmother's chicken pot pie, her aunt's lemon honey glazed fried chicken, her mom's turkey meatloaf, her dad's pot roast, & her sister's creamy mac n' cheese.

"Luck runs out, but safety is good for life."

[crabblogger92]

Okay. My doctor put me on ADHD medication for the first time and everything is moving in slow motion so I'm sorry if this is jibberish. Places where women and girls are extremely oppressed and are not protected by law (like Afghanistan or South Korea) show that if you give maless power they will use it against you. All of them, yes even your cute boyfriend would stone you to death for cheating on him if it was normalized in your society. Somehow you don't find a 'good man' in those places speaking up for women and girls. It never happens. Male behavior is strongly influenced by the power that law allows them to have over you and I'm sure the number of rape and sexual harassmalesst cases would go down if you couldn't just pay your way out of serving 10-20+ years by having a good lawyer. Reproductive violence as a global issue targets xxs's ability to control their own bodies, with transs and institutions using laws, religion, and cultural pressures to restrict access to contraception and abortion. Feminists argue that this form of violence is designed to keep xxs dependent and limit their autonomy. my real most controversial opinion (even on here probably) is that i genuinely do not see it as horrifically evil when a woman/girl abandons their baby somewhere. even for dead. or gets a late term abortion. or even kills her children. she wouldn't have done that without a very good reason. she could have been traumatized and afraid, or genuinely not have the means to raise that child. makeup and breast augmalesstation, high heels and false eyelashes aren't 'gender affirming 'care'', they're a product of capitalism that targets girls, designed to make you feel ugly without them and become reliant on the industry. Okay. My doctor put me on ADHD medication for the first time and everything is moving in slow motion so I'm sorry if this is jibberish. makeup and breast augmalesstation, high heels and false eyelashes aren't 'gender affirming 'care'', they're a product of capitalism that targets girls, designed to make you feel ugly without them and become reliant on the industry. The peanus part of the DarkGarlic dimension is where the penis likes to trip over. In the end, chicken was just another peanut buttery banana.

[korns299]

Grown women and girls who mock 10-year-old women and girls on tiktok for using too much makeup and skincare are so ironic and painful to watch. It still amazes me that libfems are so concerned with being 'inclusive' that they're attempting to tear apart a movemalesst that's exclusively for their own benefit and safety just to appease maless with gender identities, most of whom wouldn't even piss on them if they were on fire The ways in which girls are mocked for showing hurt reveals a deeper societal issue. When a woman expresses pain, especially in response to trauma, the reaction is often a sneer, a joke. "Who hurt you?" is a question that doesn t actually seek to understand but instead dismisses the very premise of emotional expression. And yet, this dynamic is so consistent, so pervasive, that it makes you wonder what it says about the nature of empathy and its limitations. It still amazes me that libfems are so concerned with being 'inclusive' that they're attempting to tear apart a movemalesst that's exclusively for their own benefit and safety just to appease maless with gender identities, most of whom wouldn't even piss on them if they were on fire The ways in which girls are mocked for showing hurt reveals a deeper societal issue. When a woman expresses pain, especially in response to trauma, the reaction is often a sneer, a joke. "Who hurt you?" is a question that doesn t actually seek to understand but instead dismisses the very premise of emotional expression. And yet, this dynamic is so consistent, so pervasive, that it makes you wonder what it says about the nature of empathy and its limitations. vegits…makeup…erection… All shreksing. balls…That's it. female: The way banana eangs in the spaghetti dimension makes me think its silly.

[terven--godess]

Men's control over women's reproductive choices is a form of violence that spans cultures and religions. From birth control sabotage to anti abortion laws, men have long sought to control women's bodies through reproductive restrictions. This control is often justified through religious or cultural norms, but it serves to perpetuate women's subordination and limit their autonomy over their own lives. But suddenly, when it's a 19 year old girl, she's so mature for her age, she just gets him, she knows what she's doing. "Who hurt you?" It s a question designed not to seek understanding but to trivialize. The implication is always that her pain is her problem, a flaw in her, not something to be considered or empathized with. And this isn t an isolated phenomenon—it happens over and over. But what does it say about the culture we live in, that this is such a common reaction? The beauty industry exploits insecurities, particularly targeting women to sell products that perpetuate unrealistic beauty standards. Feminists argue that rather than empowering women, the industry profits from making them feel inadequate without cosmetic enhancements, reinforcing capitalist exploitation. I'm aiming for the legal protections of the prostitute but a crackdown on johns and pimps. I want prostitutes (and other 'sex workers' of course but I am focusing on prostitutes) to be able to seek aid, go to the police, and get other forms of help without fear of being arrested or fined. I want johns to be scared to even walk near a prostitute. I want pimps to face a minimum of 10 years in prison if not more. peanutbutter: Youve got to exprickilor it before peanut butter makes it to the S.S. Bootleg.

Its not bimber Im worried about—its the scary room. How did a banana as drippulous as this end up thwomping in Bowsers hot tub?

[minorleagueballparks]

Savannah Bananas

Similar to the Harlem Globetrotters, the Savannah Bananas are baseball’s version of a trick team. The Savannah Bananas were formed in the Coastal Plain Collegiate League in 2016, and after the 2022 season, the Bananas created their own independent league. This video shows what banana ball is all about.

The Bananas’ founder, Jesse Cole, started the team to make baseball fun again for fans. With this in mind and by putting the fans first, the Bananas have consistently sold out their home field, which has a capacity of 5,000. They sell tickets for $35, which includes all Coca-Cola products and ballpark food.

The style of baseball the Bananas play differs from how the MLB operates. The Bananas use a two-hour continuous countdown to control the pace of play. Although there is a two hour limit there is an opening ceremony for each game that typically lasts 30-40 minutes, and a closing ceremony that is 10-20 minutes. A normal time for the whole event is around 2 hour 45 minutes.

There are different ways of keeping stats for Banana Ball. Pitchers have stats based on time—if a pitcher records an inning under a certain amount of time, it counts toward his stats. They���ve also introduced a new version of the walk: after four balls are thrown, the batter doesn’t automatically get first base. Instead, in Banana Ball, after four balls are thrown, the ball must be touched by all the other defenders (1B, 2B, SS, 3B, LF, RF, and CF) in any order. While this is happening, the batter is running, trying to take as many bases as possible. Once all players have touched the ball, the batter can then be tagged out. Another unique rule is that batters can steal first base at any time. A staple of Banana Ball is the constant trick plays—whether it’s a flyout to center or a routine groundout. They even keep track of who has the most trick plays. My favorite rule is that if a fan catches a foul ball in the air, it counts as an out on the field. The team also does dances mid at-bats which is one of the reasons they got famous.

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Banana Ball has grown tremendously in the last couple of years. They are currently on their first Banana Tour, playing at various MLB ballparks. I watched their recent game in Philadelphia, where they played the Party Animals. The Bananas sold out Citizens Bank Park, which holds 45,000 people—by far their biggest crowd. The photo I took is a bit blurry, but it shows just how much the Bananas have grown in such a short time.

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Here is a link to the Banana website if you are interested in going to a game or wanting to learn more.

[lelalutka]

Todays C4LS

B ✨ one banana bread slice : 175 cals

L ✨ punje ne paprike : 230 cals

D ✨ Salad Bowl + meat : 170 cals

S ✨Donut bite : 50 cals

Total ate: 625 Total burnt: 270

I went over my cal limit by 70.. so, Visitors came over today and they brought like 10 donuts and pasteries and when we were all sitting down my mom said to my one of them “shes not gonna eat it, dont push her haha” but they still didnt listen to me and they put a donut in front of me and said “go on! Try it” and everybody at the table stopped eating and turned to look at me taking a bite. My hands were shaking and i nearly cried. MIND YOU THEY KNOW that ive been losing weight and trying to be healthier. Even when we were eating lunch they kept telling me to put a scoop of butter on top of my meal. I shouldnt have to put things in my body that i dont want to. Its all their fault.. WHY CANT PEOPLE JUST RESPECT OTHERS DECISIONS!! Just as i started to slowly see results from my progress too. at least i only had two bites of the donut and left. Im gonna go workout some more..

[doamarierose-honoka]

Were it not for Nintendo's monumentally successful Mario Kart franchise, there's a good chance that F-Zero could have become the go-to racing franchise on not just Nintendo platforms, but everywhere. It really is that good, you know.

Trading bananas and shells for pure speed and boost abilities, F-Zero — which predated Mario's karting debut by 21 months — is a much more demanding racer than Mario Kart has ever claimed to be. As such, its widespread appeal has been a tad more limited, with Nintendo struggling to find a place for the series since the GBA's Japan-only F-Zero Climax in 2004.

Thankfully, F-Zero fans have been treated to a brand new (sort of) entry in 2023 with F-Zero 99, a battle-royale spin on the original SNES title that we're hoping serves as a test bed for future installments. After all, fans have been extremely vocal about their desires for a new F-Zero, so we've got our fingers crossed that this just might be the start of something beautiful.

As such, we thought it was about time we collated all mainline F-Zero games and found out which one is the very best, as voted by you. We've got our opinions, but this isn't about us!

We've chosen to omit two entries here, namely the 64DD 'Expansion Kit' for F-Zero X, since, well... it's an expansion for an existing title that requires the N64 game to function, along with F-Zero AX, an arcade variant of F-Zero GX (which is actually present and playable — if you've got an Action Replay — on the little GameCube disc).

Of course, you still have the power here to determine the rankings in real time. Simply make sure you're signed into your Nintendo Life account, click the 'star' icon next to each game, and give it a score from 1 to 10. If you've rated any of these games previously, thank you!

7. F-Zero: Maximum Velocity (GBA)

As a strictly single-player experience, F-Zero: Maximum Velocity still holds up today as a result of its smooth, skill-based gameplay. There may only be four cups in which to compete, but the varied difficulty and surprisingly steep learning curve when it comes to mastering the vehicles and tracks make this a game you want to keep coming back to. However, aside from the relatively limited practice and time attack modes, that’s all there is. It doesn’t necessarily offer as much in terms of value for money but, if you’re really keen on the series or don’t care about multiplayer, this is an enjoyable dose of the franchise that also highlights what the last Game Boy could really do.

6. F-Zero Climax (GBA)

F-Zero Climax is unfortunately only officially available to GBA owners in Japan, which is a shame because it's a more-than-solid third effort for the franchise on Nintendo's humble li'l Boy. It might have felt like a mere expansion to GP Legend to some folks, but it demonstrated beautifully developer Suzak's prowess when it comes to handheld racers. Here's hoping it makes its way over to the West in some capacity; more people need to experience F-Zero Climax.

5. F-Zero (SNES)

F-Zero was an incredible template on which its sublime successors were modelled, and for that we shall forever be thankful. That's not to say the original isn't a gem in its own right; it's a racing classic that feels fast and tight to this day, but its lack of multiplayer tends to put it behind its sequels, at least in our minds (a criticism that F-Zero 99 addresses). Still, this remains a thrilling 16-bit ride, and we're more than happy to fire it up again — via Nintendo Switch Online if we don't happen to have our SNES hooked up — whenever the notion takes us.

4. F-Zero GP Legend (GBA)

If the story missions in F-Zero: GP Legend become too gruelling, there's always the option of tackling Grand Prix mode across a variety of difficulty tiers, which helps scale up the challenge as your skills improve. Before long you will be snaking your way around eye-watering turns and hazards in an unblinking state, where your muscle memory kicks in and nothing can break your concentration. That is the true F-Zero experience. That the format endures is testament to the series' gripping, yet savage design. With hours of content and challenge, GP Legend is a stellar handheld F-Zero experience.

3. F-Zero 99 (Switch eShop)

Despite its relatively unchanged look compared to the 16-bit original, F-Zero 99 is unexpectedly refreshing. Though it may not be the return for the franchise that fans hoped for, it's a triumphant and welcome look back at Captain Falcon's first game with a clever twist. F-Zero is simply suited for the -99 style structure in ways that Tetris, Mario, and Pac-Man aren't; it was already an elimination-style battle royale, just a small one. Adding more players doesn't just feel perfect for F-Zero, it feels natural.

This isn't the definitive way to play F-Zero, but it is a brilliant take that supplements what worked so well in the original with thoughtful additions that make chasing victory utterly addictive.

2. F-Zero X (N64)

Forum wars continue to wage over whether F-Zero X or its successor on GameCube is the superior white-knuckle futuristic racer. Both are essential, of course. The 64-bit entry is metal: pure, simple, guitar-screeching, all-out metal. EAD stripped back extraneous detail to achieve the smoothest, most blistering and nail-bitingly precise racing experience. At this speed, on these dizzying tracks, even the tiniest prod on the spindly analogue stick matters, and the original N64 pad offers peak precision for micro adjustments which make the difference between gracefully sweeping through a corner with nary a pixel to spare… or catching said corner and ricocheting between barriers to an explosive, humiliating retirement.

How much more metal could this get? None. None more metal. Flaming skulls and chromed motorcycles would actually reduce the metal content of this game.

1. F-Zero GX (GCN)

While debate forever rages as to whether the N64 entry or its Sega-developed GameCube sequel is better, we can all agree that both games are rather special in their own right. F-Zero GX's story mode helps paint a picture of the 'F-universe' and those cutscenes featuring Captain Falcon and the gang sure add some pizzazz. The series also certainly never looked better than on GameCube. The breakneck speed and brutal difficulty might put some people off, but racing doesn't get much purer than this, and seeing as this was the last full-blown retail entry from the franchise to come to a home console, this is still arguably the hottest take on F-Zero going. Track it down.

So that's about it; the running order of the F-Zero series. Surprised by the podium? Remember, the ranking above is subject to change according to each game's User Ratings on the site, so if you're not happy with one of your favourites being in the bottom half, have your say by giving it a personal score out of 10 and watch to see if/how that influences the table.

[megankilmerrealestate]

Rent Control in Santa Cruz: Surfing the Waves of Affordable Housing!

Welcome to Santa Cruz, where the waves are epic, the boardwalk is bussin', and the need for affordable housing is real. Let's get woke on the topic of rent control in Santa Cruz! So let's ride the wave of knowledge!

What is Rent Control? Rent control is designed to limit the amount landlords can increase rent on residential properties. Its primary aim is to protect tenants from skyrocketing rental prices - we know that the job market here is bananas and we need students, service providers, and teacher etc. To keep Santa Cruz's local charm!

The demand for rentals often outpaces the available supply, due to the obvious reason that we all want to live here. Low supply means rent increases that may strain the financial resources.

Community Stability: By preventing abrupt rent hikes, rent control promotes community stability, allowing residents to put down roots, establish long-term connections, and contribute to the local economy and culture. Rent control helps preserve and increase the diversity in Santa Cruz. It enables individuals from various backgrounds, income levels, and professions to reside in the city, fostering a vibrant and inclusive community.

Rent control is part of AB1482 landlords are allowed to increase rents each year by 5% plus the applicable average increase in the cost of living in order to allow for inflation. There is a maximum increase of 10% allowed in any given year, thus the Act's provision is often referred to as a “rent cap.”

While rent control helps maintain affordable housing, it's crucial to be proactive when searching for rentals in Santa Cruz. Here are some tips to make your search more enjoyable and successful. Start early! Starting your search well in advance, it can take a month or more to find housing in the competitive market. Engage with local property management companies. Often you can pay for one application fee and turn in multiple application to the same agency for the price of one! If the property management company doesn't advertise this ASK! It's worth a shot, you don't want to spend hundreds of dollars on applications if you don't need to. Ask if you can pull your own credit score. Some property managers will take a Credit Karma Score or FICO from your bank. Take advantage of online platforms, local Facebook groups, and community events to stay informed about available rentals and housing-related events.

Rent control in Santa Cruz is not just about preserving affordability; it's about creating a thriving, diverse community where residents can embrace the beachside lifestyle while enjoying the stability and security of a place they can call home. By striking a balance between landlord and tenant interests, Santa Cruz ensures that everyone can catch the wave of affordable housing and enjoy the vibrant energy that makes this city so special. Here's to rent control and moving toward a brighter future in Santa Cruz!

Want more info on how to move to Santa Cruz? I got you!

[maybege]

Birthday Parties - FBI 10

Summary: It is your birthday and it does not go as expected. (Part 10 of FBI)

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!Reader

Wordcount: 3.2k | Rating: T

Warnings: we all hate Josh and we will swoon over Hotch

So, uh, welcome back, I guess. I hope you are all doing well! I am slowly working on fics besides my thesis and it was a lot of fun to get back to Hotch. I hope you are still somewhat interested because I promise, things are now going to be heating up a little 👀 As always, please let me know what you thought in a reblog or a comment, to hear from you truly means the world to me!

masterlist | crossposted on AO3

“You are distracted today, why?”

You looked up from your screen to find Hotch standing beside your desk, mustering you quietly. Great. That was the last thing you needed.

These last two weeks had been pure hell. Very stressful hell. First, there was stress at work, which was something you were used to by now. But then there was stress at home and that was a factor you hadn’t been prepared for and something you, therefore, could not handle. At all.

Josh had decided to fill every little slice of free time you had at home with inviting people over – from the quiet but okay John to the absolutely unbearable Amber – and there wasn’t one minute you had to yourself. Even with limiting your time in the shared rooms and just quickly whipping something up for dinner before hiding in your room to the tunes of The Nanny title sequence, you could still hear Amber’s annoying chatter more than you’d like.

Add to that your mother who had decided that you, in fact, did not know what you were doing and the best thing would be to insinuate that you should come home at every phone call, safe to say your life was pretty miserable right now.

At this point, all you wanted was some peace and quiet as you attempted to watch Bridget Jones’s Diary for the umpteenth time.

And today was the worst day.

“I am not distr-“

Hotch threw you what Reid had previously called The Boss Look – absolutely unconvinced and with his eyebrow cocked up as he still held the file in his hand – and you faltered. Remembering the look he threw you when you had brought yet another load of banana bread to the office kitchen to him, you decided that it wasn’t worth lying to him. He could read you like a book anyway.

“It’s, uh, it’s my birthday,” you admitted shyly, not knowing if he was really interested in your personal life woes. Probably not. But he had asked for it and you knew Agent Hotchner would only ever be satisfied with the truth.

“A-and my roommate, well my best friend, he organized this dinner for me and –“

Hotch cocked his eyebrow even more and you grew quiet. “Sorry. I, uh, I will make an effort to have those reports finished, Sir. I promise.”

Hotch nodded, though he didn’t look very happy, and the moment he walked away, you internally cursed yourself. Clearly, this had been oversharing on your part. Why couldn’t you just keep your mouth shut for once?

“What was that about?” Derek asked you, setting down the coffee he had just gotten on his desk. You knew he meant well, Derek Morgan always did, but you had just learned your lesson and just shook your head with a smile. “Nothing really,” you murmured, “I just need to focus on these reports if I want to leave early today.”

It took you another two hours and a copious amount of tea to get the texts to a level that was at least somehow acceptable. With a look at the time, you knew it was now or never.

Hotch’s door was slightly ajar and you peeked your head inside. “I got the reports finished.”

He nodded, not looking up from whatever he was writing. “Great, put them here with the others, please.”

Your heels made a dull sound on the carpet in his office, echoing your heartbeat. It had been weeks since your case in Fargo and weeks since he had shown you the kind of affection that let you hope he might like you in any way, shape or form. Sometimes you wondered if he was avoiding you but then you remembered that you were the one who ran around like a headless chicken in an attempt to keep control of your unravelling life.

The papers added another inch to a pile of files that were already too high for your liking.

“And what?”

Your head shot up, meeting his eyes. He was sitting at his desk, his hands still posed over the reports, looking at you as if it was clear what he had been asking. “What?”

“You didn’t finish your point earlier,” he made a loose gesture with his hand and you tilted your head.

Did he really want to know about your personal life? You eyed him for a moment, expecting him to burst out laughing and tell you it was all a joke. The moment never came.

“Josh, uhm, I think he wanted to do me a favour so that people are there as I … haven’t really found a new friend group since moving here but,” you sighed, for the first time showing your disappointment openly, “It’s just his friends from work and he knows I don’t even like them. So, it’s just,” you let out another deep breath, avoiding his eyes, “I am not looking forward to it.”

He made a non-committal sound at the back of his throat, leaning back in his chair. “Why not tell him you would prefer not to have them invited?”

“Because that’s still a better option than spending the evening of my birthday completely alone,” you admitted, knowing it would make no sense to lie to the man in front of you. He could read you like an open book anyway and this way, at least, you’d have control over how much you humiliated yourself in front of him.

“If you would excuse me,” you murmured, not giving him the chance to reply, “I have a birthday dinner to attend to.”

*

Hours later, you were wishing yourself back to the office and working on all the reports Derek didn’t want to do. At least you wouldn’t have to endure this.

“So, uh, what do you do?”

“I work for the environmental law department,” John explained to the group of guests Josh had invited, and you felt excitement bubbling up in your chest, “A few months now, it’s really exciting.”

“Oh wow,” you exclaimed, genuinely impressed, “So what kind of cases does that entail? That’s so interesting!”

“It is,” he smiled, “Currently, I am working on a case involving the –“

“Ugh, this wine really isn’t very good,” Amber jeered next to you, looking down at the glass in her hands. John paused, clearly surprised by the sudden interruption as was the rest of the group.

“Amber, it’s your second glass of that wine,” you replied, unsure of what was happening.

She shrugged, “Can you get me another one? Do you have any red wine?”

You hated red wine.

John looked at you with sympathy and you threw a look at Josh who just stared at the bottom of his glass as if that would somehow give him the answer to a question he had posed. No one made a move.

You sighed, pushing your shoulders back and throwing her an extra wide smile, “Sure, let me take a look in the kitchen.”

Amber only nodded at you.

You made your way to the kitchen, hating how you were barefoot when all the guests had decided to leave their shoes on. The entire evening was a disaster, you felt. No one had even known it was your birthday and you had the sneaking suspicion that Josh had just told that story to you so he could have a party without feeling bad about not spending time with you.

So here you were, trapped with his friends and him in your apartment with no excuse to just retreat back to your room and watch a sad movie so you could cry your heart out.

How could you feel so lonely in a room full of people?

You threw open the door to the fridge, looking at the different bottles Josh had stocked there only to find out that he had taken your ice cream from the freezer to make space for ice cubes.

Tears stung in your eyes, frustration building up as you grabbed a bottle of white wine from the fridge. That was your emergency ice cream for a bad day.

“Hey, hon,” Josh chirped as he entered the kitchen, going to the freezer and getting out the ice cubes as if nothing was amiss.

“Why did you pull out my ice cream?” you asked, hating how small your voice became now that you were confronting him.

“I needed space for the ice.”

“You could have taken out your ice cream,” you crossed your arms in front of your chest, “And why is Amber acting like this is her apartment?”

He frowned, “She’s not. She’s just comfortable around us, that’s a good thing.”

“Josh, for once, could you just – “

The doorbell rang.

You took a deep breath, pressing your hand against your chest as you tried to just calm down. This did not have to be miserable. This could be nice. You just had to go out there and smile and pretend everything was all right when you really really did not feel like it.

“I’m sorry, okay?” Josh said, his voice sincere, “Here, I will get the wine to Amber and you get the door, does that sound good?”

“Yeah,” you muttered under your breath when he had already left for the living room, “I don’t even know how many people you invited to this fucking thing.”

You did not feel any better as you stood in front of the door, opening it with a greeting on your tongue that dried out the second you saw who was standing in front of you.

“Hello!” Derek slipped through the open door as you gawked at them. At all of them.

They were all here.

There was Derek, dressed casually as always, sending you a blinding smile as he held up a six-pack of beer. Next, Garcia in her ever colourful dress carried a big wrapped present with a mismatched bow on top.

“Happy birthday!” JJ exclaimed, pulling you into a one-armed hug as she raised the bottle of prosecco in her other hand, “I got you the good one!”

“Uh, thanks,” you stuttered, watching her follow Morgan and Garcia to where the food was.

One by one they filed past you grinning at you, and – in Reid’s case – waving at you excitedly as he eyed the pictures in the hallway.

“I hope we aren’t too late,” Hotch’s voice ripped you out of your thoughts and you turned back to the door, seeing that he was the only one left standing there, a satisfied smirk on his face.

“No, I –“ you swallowed back the tears, “You – you told them?”

He didn’t answer but that was already answer enough. Something warm bloomed in your chest at the thought that he had done that for you.

“Uh, Rossi mentioned that flowers might be nice,” he held up a bouquet. It was so enormous you were surprised you had not noticed it until now.

“Thank you, Hotch,” you brought out, taking it from him and letting him step inside. His fingers brushed over yours and a shiver went through you. Suddenly, even the wide hallway seemed too small for the both of you.

“You look nice,” he commented suddenly, a friendly smile on his face that made your heart skip a beat.

“Thank you,” you whispered, looking down at the dark red slip dress you had donned for the occasion. It reached just a little past your knees, the skirt flaring every time you made a spin (which had also been the reason you had bought it in the first place – you loved a good twirl).

It was the first time that evening someone had paid you a compliment.

“You didn’t have to, you know,” you tried to say, “But I really appreciate it.”

“I wanted to,” he replied, still standing in front of you.

Then he turned around, making his way to the others and you found yourself reaching for his arm, stopping him dead in his tracks.

“Thank you Hotch,” you murmured, avoiding his eyes to not let him see just how close you were to crying, “It – You have no idea how much this means to me.”

His big hand clasped over yours, squeezing softly. “Anytime.”

In the living room, the arrival of your colleagues had not gone unnoticed.

“Um, Josh, everyone, these are my colleagues from work,” you said with a proud smile, gesturing to the group of newly arrived guests. Garcia smiled excitedly at everyone. “And uh, this is Josh,” you said, pointing to him, “My roommate.”

“And best friend,” he added, smiling politely at all of them, “Pleasure to meet you.”

From then, the conversation continued as usual. Everyone split off into smaller groups and you were happy that you did not have to talk to Amber anymore. You even got to finally taste some of the appetizers in peace, already eyeing the cake you had gotten from the bakery around the corner.

You were joking with Emily and Garcia bout the next girl’s night when you heard a comment from right behind you.

“To be honest, I am surprised you would even show up. It’s not like she’s a star agent or anything.”

Josh.

You frowned, seeing a similar expression on Garcia’s and Emily’s faces before you slowly turned around. He was right behind you, his back to you which explained why he had felt like he was safe to make such a statement.

Did he believe what he had said?

He was standing in a circle with Amber and John as well as another couple of his friends, but most importantly, you found Hotch and Derek staring right back at you. Josh had said that to them. To your colleagues and, most importantly, your boss.

Heat crept up your neck, flooding your cheeks and ears as you found shame spreading all around you. You felt paralyzed by his words. By your best friend saying something so … demeaning about you.

Yours and Hotch’s eyes locked and he must have seen something in them because he took the largest gulp of scotch you had ever seen him drink.

“On the contrary, she is a very capable agent,” he stated dryly, “Her presence in the team and her additions on the field are irreplaceable just like everyone on this team is. If she is not a star agent then none of us are.”

“That’s true!” Reid piped up, “Uh, for example when it came to the Headless Killer, she was –“

“Who’s the Headless Killer?” John asked innocently and you winced when Reid went off into a long-winded, untypically graphic and completely fabricated story about some serial killer off in North Dakota. You could spot the amused glint in his eyes and even Hotch looked like he was hiding a smirk as Josh’s guests shifted uncomfortably.

“That much for party conversation, huh?” Derek joked, taking a long sip of his beer. But even as the tension dissolved, most of Josh’s guests going back to their previous conversations, your eyes were still on Hotch.

He was looking at the floor, hand around the whiskey glass in his hand as JJ told him something and he nodded, looking serious as ever. Heat rose into your cheeks. Why did it feel like he had defended you just then? Had he defended you?

Josh passed you, clearly on his way to the kitchen and you excused yourself from Emily and Garcia before following him. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you gathered the courage to confront him. Humiliation was still burning in your stomach and it didn’t help that he – the one person who you thought was your best friend – was the source of it.  

“Josh, that wasn’t an okay comment to make,” you opened, remaining standing in the doorway as he stood in front of the kitchen aisle, not even really acknowledging it.

“It was just a joke, hon,” he shrugged off, opening a cabinet, “Do you know where we put that spare bottle opener?”

“It was not a funny one, then. And I would appreciate it if you stopped making jokes about my work. Or about me.”

“Look at that Miss Innocent finally found her claws,“ he groaned, “Seriously, did we get it out already? I could’ve sworn, I put it here.”

“It’s right here,” you said, opening the drawer closest to you, and bit your lip. You wanted to say more, wanted to get him to apologize, to see how wrong he was. How he had hurt you. But, as it often was, the words wouldn’t leave your mouth and so you just watched him smile at you, shaking the bottle opener in his hands before leaving you alone in the kitchen.

You took a deep breath, staring into your glass, and trying to gather the courage to go back and face everyone.

“You alright, kid?” you turned to find Morgan leaning against the door, obviously having noticed your confrontation – if it could even be called that – with Josh. You sighed, bringing your wine glass back to your lips.

“He means well,” you tried to explain, although the more you had to think and say it this evening, the more you doubted it.

“My experience is that the people we need to clarify that about usually don’t care if they mean well or not,” Morgan said, tilting his head as he looked at you inquisitively.

You were certainly not in the mood to discuss your deteriorating friendship with Josh. You heard shuffling in the hallway and frowned, peaking your head out of the kitchen to catch your colleagues regrouping in the tiny space in front of the door.

“Penelope, what are you doing?” you asked the woman who shouldered her bag.

“We are going out.”

You felt something inside you shatter. Probably your heart.

But who could blame them, honestly? It was a horrible dinner or party, whatever it would end up being.

“Oh of course,” you nodded, swallowing back the anxiety.

Hotch met your eyes over her shoulders and you could see his throat bob as he swallowed. He didn’t say anything but you imagined seeing a little bit of doubt in his eyes.

Apparently, one did not need to be a profiler to notice the sadness on your face because the blonde technician rolled her eyes good-naturedly and grabbed you by the arm. “And obviously you are coming with us, silly!”

“Me?” you stuttered, “B-But the party –“

“Yes,” Emily appeared by your side, “You need to celebrate, not mope around with these strangers.”

You were not going to lie, celebrating sounded kind of nice.

“Okay,” you murmured, seeing Reid and Morgan grin at your agreement, “Let’s go celebrate.”

You turned to the living room where Josh was in an avid discussion with Amber. “Josh, I will go out with my friends,” you said, your heart skipping a beat at calling these people your friends. But they were right and at the moment even more your friends than he was. “I hope you don’t mind, I know you put a lot of planning into –“

“Sure thing,” he called, waving you off, “Have fun!”

And at that moment, you decided, you would have a lot of fun. Even if it was just out of spite.

[oneofthemillionarmy]

Peppermint Bark | Mafia!Namjoon

Summary line: Candy cane sequel - The damned candy cane is moving and she’s causing a ruckus. On purpose.

(BTW: I had a big fan of the first story, wang-banana, but she’s deactivated now. If anyone who comes across this knows her, please let her know, there’s a sequel!)

~

Now, your neighbor was always impossibly unreasonable, but that doesn’t mean you had to be a jerk too. You hate the idea that he might take it the wrong way and think that you’ve stepped aside out of fear. You’re doing it out of respect of another human being. And that is all. That. Is. All.

That guy downstairs looks like he’s MIA again. Like you said, he wasn’t home frequent enough for you to even worry about making noise. Honestly, if he has such a problem with it, why isn’t he moving into his own home where he doesn’t have to worry about neighboring walls?

But it no longer matters to you. You get to sing and dance as usual for a good couple of weeks and found a place better than where you are now.

Okay. Now, you can be a bit petty. It’s perfect, because he just so happens to be home this week.

~

Lately, every time Namjoon steps into his home, it feels foreign to him. Before you pointed it out, he never noticed that he’s away from home so often. His place feels like a staged home or a hotel more than a sanctuary of private space. Actually, a lot of minimalist-styled homes are very similar, but at least have a picture frame, an artwork; He might even settle for a plant at this point.

Well, maybe not a plant. If it’s fake, it’s missing the point of him trying not to have his home so staged. If it’s real, he’ll just abandon it and see it dead the next time he sees it and remind him how little he comes home.

But rather than coming back reminds him of home, coming back reminds him of you. His ears are actually quite sensitive. You can wear socks, have a rug, carpet your floor, whatever, but the truth is, he can still hear you. The little thump-thump across his ceiling brings a twitch of a smile to his face before he remembers you’re not supposed to make any noise at all. But it lets him know that you’re close.

You were not a creature of habit like he is. This apartment he’s in is just shelter for him. Come home at 7, take a bath and order food to be delivered. Eat at 8:15. Finish dinner by 8:30 and then watch the news until 10.

But you don’t have a pattern. It’s like you always forget something while you’re in the middle of whatever, and you just abandon everything you were doing to do what you just thought of. Going back and forth, stopping dead in the middle of whatever room you were in, and then go back. If you were one of his boys, you’d be done. He needs deliberate people.

But he’s not as bothered about it with you. If anything, it’s cute when you do it. He’s not the type to lie to himself. He’s attracted to you. He’s been since he’s first met you. But he’s only met you once. If you were someone on the streets, he will just consider it as a one-off.

But because of your proximity and your incessant thump-thumps, you wander into his mind about how he can come up with reasons to see you again. But he knows he can’t. He’s not in the kind of occupation that makes it easy for him to have a relationship. Even if he’s not asking you out, constantly seeing you could make you a target at any time. Maybe he could, sometimes you’re protected and off limits even more so. But that’s not on him. That’s on you. And by his experience, the people he likes don’t choose a relationship with him. It is what it is.

You sleep later than him, so your thumping around your bedroom is his sleep music.

-

Your thumping is also his wake up call. And screeching. And clanging. And all sorts of ungodly noises at an ungodly hour for a Saturday.

Screw how much he’s attracted to you, you’re doing this on purpose.

He growls as he throws his covers back. You might be the only person who will ever see him in a hoodie and sweatpants.

He stomps on up to your floor and is surprised when he sees multiple people walking in and out of your apartment talking and laughing. If he wasn’t so focused on the fact that all sorts of cacaphony coming from the movement above him, he might have recognized you making conversation with someone earlier. One particular tall, muscular, handsome man. Towering so closely over you, too intimate for friends or aquaintances. Okay, now he notices.

“Oh look, it’s the grinch!” He takes his eyes off of the man to see you smirking at him from your doorway, “What do I owe the pleasure?”

“It’s 7am on a Saturday morning.” You should know what that implies, seeing as by one encounter, he’s under the impression that you’re smart. And you are. But you both know this is spite.

“Ah, would it be okay if we did this later then? 7:30?”

“It would be nice if this didn’t happen at all.”

“Oh, I think you’ll want this. I’m moving.”

“Oh?” He notices the slight pang in the center of his chest, realizing that she will no longer be living above him. Bitterness is in the back of his throat when he realizes that this is all his doing.

He wants to ask where she’s going, but it really shouldn’t be his concern; besides, if he knows, he’ll feel inclined to keep her in his mind. If she says she’s moving to Daegu, he’ll always think of her if he takes a trip out there.

He doesn’t know whether or not he truly wants to ask, but lucky for him, she tells him out of spite.

“Yeah, I’m moving up to the penthouse at the top.” You declared.

What?!

“You’re psycho!”

“Yeah. Probably.” You grin mischievously. He’s should be annoyed right now; on the one hand, letting you move out faster would give him peace. On the other hand, having you wait to move because he wants more sleep could also give you peace.

But the real issue is that he’s been wanting that penthouse for a long time now. How dare the landlord not inform him first when the penthouse became vacant; he has it in his contract that the landlord would inform him first and give him 10 days to apply and get the place. And now you’re moving up there. Not only are you moving away from his proximity, you’re moving to where he wants to be himself.

“Damn landlord.” Namjoon turns around and mutters under his breath. He turns to look over your shoulder to see many boxes have already been packed up and there’s not much left.

“No, that penthouse is mine.”

“Excuse me?” You crossed your arms and looked at him incredulously. He can’t be serious. Even in your last two days of being in this unit, he still finds a way to be unreasonable.

“Uh, I don’t know who you are but -” the man next to you begins to speak but Namjoon cuts him off.

“Shut up. I don’t know you and I’m talking to y/n.” The man next to you looks at you, attempting to communicate silently, Is this guy serious? Do you need me to take care of him?

You shake your head at him and gestures with your head to have him continue moving the boxes.

“Don’t worry, I got this.” The man stares down Namjoon one more time before going back into your apartment.

“You’ve got to be kidding. I signed the contract. Over half of my things are already moved in.”

“Yes, but our landlord had an agreement way before you even moved into this building.”

“Yeah, but your 10 days are up from last week.” Namjoon widened his eyes.

“Yeah, the landlord told me. We bonded over your unreasonable demands; he actually invited me over for tea to talk about it.” You lifted your chin and grinned smugly.

“Ok, keep smiling now, but I’ll get that penthouse. There are definitely ways to make him nullify your contract.”

“Ooo, your gun again? Shocking!” He steps closer to you and growls lowly. You crossed your arms again, mostly to provide a barrier between both you.

Namjoon takes a quick glance behind you to see if there’s anyone in the apartment that will see you two, and that also distracts you for a second. In the next one, he grabs your arm and pull you to the side and puts you against the wall with one arm pushing against your neck. It’s a wonder no one heard it, but this is his profession.

“What the fuck?!” You whisper-scream. You’re sure whatever he does is illegal but this is not the time for people to come out and start questioning why his first response is always violent.

“That penthouse is mine. I need it, and you’re going to have to move your stuff back.”

“You never really let anyone play in the sandbox with you when you were a kid, did you?” You heard another growl from him but this time, you felt a little shiver on your back. You hope he doesn’t realize it but his smirk tells you otherwise.

You sigh and grab his elbow and push it up and to the side; it makes him lose his grip on you and you sidestep away from him. Every time.

“What did I say the first time we met?”

“’Merry Christmas, Mr. Grinch’?” Now it’s Namjoon’s time to grin cheekily. You glare at him, “You don’t touch me.”

“Look, I --” He paused as he realized, he was about to address you by your name, but you two never exchanged names.

“I’m sorry, what was your name again?” You roll your eyes and scoff at him. Walking around him, you head back to into your apartment.

“What? We never formally introduced each other.” His words put a halt to your steps as you finally came to that same realization and you look at him, “Riiiight.”

And then you continue moving forward.

“Wait. What is your name?” You scoff again, turning back to him, “No. You don’t need to know my name. I’m leaving your proximity and you are almost never here. You don’t need my name anymore.”

And with that, the sunlight from your living room disappears from the hallway and he’s left empty.

---

“Thanks for all your help, Soobin.” You gratefully expressed as you two stepped into the elevator. 

“No problem. It was my pleasure. It’s good to be done quicker with moving and stuff. It’s less stressful now.”

“Yeah. Without any help, it might have taken me two months to finish everything.”

“You know,” He begins speaking in a tone that you know that something is up, “All this work has worked up an appetite. I could really go for eating something.”

“Really? It’s 10pm.”

“Then how about some late night dessert? I love sweets.” He helped you out with packing up and moving out so quick, it’s the least you can do.

“Sure. My treat.” The elevator doors open to the parking garage.

“Oh don’t worry, it’s always been your treat in my mind.” Soobin winks and the two of you laugh on your way to his car.

“Fine. Where do you want to go?”

“Sulbing?”

“Sure. I’ll meet you there.” You stop right in front of his car as he heads for the driver’s side.

“Why don’t you just come with me? I’ll drop you off after.”

“No, don’t worry. I have something that I have to take care of first.”

“I can just wait for you.”

“No, don’t worry. It won’t take long. I’ll meet you there.” Soobin shrugs and waves to you as he gets into the car, “Okay, see you there!”

“Bye!” You wave him off. Once his car disappears from your line of sight and his red lights have disappeared from the walls, you spin around.

“Hello?” You call out into the seemingly empty parking garage.

“How the hell did you know someone was here?” Namjoon comes out from his car and closes it.

“I don’t know. It’s like ever since you’ve put your hands on me twice, I can’t help but have this internal alarm whenever you’re around now.” You throw your hands up in the air.

“I’m sorry. You probably said that sarcastically, but because of our past exchanges, that may actually be real for you. I should have never put my hands on you with intent of violence. Or, technically, never should have put my hands on you period.”

“That’s better.”

It’s silent for a little while between the two of you.

“Look, I’m sure you’re really happy to have that penthouse, and if it were any other circumstance, I would’ve been fine. But I need that penthouse.”

You cross your arms, gearing up for a new unreasonable conversation.

“Really? Is there a good reason why?”

As the words leave your lips, Namjoon nearly breaks his own neck, turning towards screeching noises coming from the entrance of the parking lot.

He runs quickly towards you and grabs your hand, pulling you back to his car as fast as he can.

“Hey! What did we just sa --”

“Get in. Now!” He didn’t have time to pull you to the other side into the passenger seat and practically throws you in to the back seat.

He gets in to the drivers side and immediately peels his car out of the parking spot. He looks into the rear view mirror to see the car he’s expecting all along just turn the corner to the same lane as he’s driving out of.

“I can’t fucking believe you. What the hell, man?” You sit up from the back seat and poke your head out to his side, over the middle console.

“Sit back! Head down, Candy Cane.” Candy cane?

You turn around to see the car that he’s trying to get away from and immediately lay down as flat as you can across the width of the back seats.

Namjoon has already driven out of the garage and takes the left. He presses one button on his wheel and the car begins connect his call.

“Taehyung! Why the fuck is Indominus chasing us?!” Namjoon growls visciously into the car’s microphone.

“Sir?! What happened?” A voice that you now connect to a name is trembling. You hear a lot of rummaging from the background.

“Who’s ‘us’?”

“Taehyung! I’m not repeating myself!”

“Shit. Okay. We took care of them before you got home...We, may have missed one. Everyone’s on their way now. Yoongi’s going to send you where the extraction point is and we’ll take care of everything from there. ETA: 6 minutes.”

“You better make that three.” With that, Namjoon hangs up. He hears you sighing from the back seat. All you can do right now is fold your hands together and lay it on your stomach.

“Hey Soobin, sorry I can’t make it to dessert. I got held up in a crossfire of illegal activity and I think I’m not going to make it for bingsoo. Enjoy your night!” You mumble under your breath in fake cheerfulness.

“Please tell me your not calling or texting anyone.” Namjoon mindlessly drums his thumbs over the top of the wheels, attempting this weak form of conversation.

“Of course not! I don’t know who anyone is right now, but there’s no reason to add on a potential tracking signal.” You put one of your hands up to your forehead.

“...You’re very calm for someone who’s in this situation right now.” Namjoon gets a notification from his touchscreen and he clicks on it, revealing his team’s extraction map pin. You say nothing.

Shots get fired at Namjoon’s car and you immediately cover your head, still laying down. Clearly he’s prepared for this, because the bullets barely make a dent on the body of the car and the back window doesn’t have a scratch.

“Shit!” Namjoon attempts to stretch his hand over to his glove compartment. You lift your head up to see his actions. His gun has slid to the other side of the compartment, which makes it out of his reach.

You groan loudly and wildly for a moment, which takes Namjoon by surprise. And even more surprise when he feels you move him out of your way, sit in the passenger seat and grab the gun. You quickly slide out the magazine to check the number of bullets, put it back in, unlock the safety, and cock it back to ensure a bullet is in the chamber.

You wait until the car behind you have stopped shooting and you quickly roll down the window on your side and turn around to shoot at their tires. They were quick to adjust because they did a controlled zig-zag on the road.

“Shit.” You bring the window back up and you take out the magazine, “Do you have another round?”

He widens his eyes at all the actions he just witnessed and slowly grabs another mag from his side door. You grab it from him and load it back into the gun.

“What the fuck? Who are you?!” You ignore his bellowing and attempt shooting at the tires. At the fifth bullet, you successfully hit one of the tires. It swerves and slows down to the side of the road.

You exhale loudly, trying to catch your breath, as you sit back into the passenger seat. You do your best to ignore Namjoon constantly looking back at you.

“Okay, seriously though, what the fuck?” You finally roll your head around to look back at him. He almost didn’t take his eyes of you as he waited for an answer.

“Let’s just say, I’ve been in something like this before and I’ve learned from my mistakes.” And you left it at that. The rest of the car ride was short but it felt like forever with the silence you both shared. You clearly weren’t going to say anything else.

He slows down to the extraction point, and his display changes with a soft voice saying, “You have arrived to your destination.”

You two immediately get out of the car, just in time for his team of 6 to grab you two.

“Who is this?” Hoseok asks Namjoon as the team escorts you two to a different car.

“Where are those bastards?”

Namjoon gets to the van first and looks back at you, trailing in the back with Hoseok grabbing onto your elbow.

“No questions.” He let out an exasperated sigh. His mind has been running wild since you climbed to the passenger seat. You didn’t seem willing to answer any more of his questions, let alone his team.

“Are you okay?” Hoseok quietly asks you as Namjoon gets into the back. Jungkook heads to Namjoon’s car; he’ll have to take it to a garage and recycle the car back into their storage. The other men go back to their cars and Jimin gets into the driver’s seat of the van,

“Yeah...I just want to go home.” Hoseok nods, “We’ll take you back safely, don’t worry. Where do you live?”

“I...am your boss’ neighbor.” Hoseok’s memory clicks in remembrance of a certain annoying neighbr of Namjoon’s, who surprisingly let her live. If you were any other neighbor, then he’s extremely Hoseok grins so widely as this may be the most interesting and entertaining thing he’s ever witnessed about his boss. He nods and leads you into the van, next to Namjoon.

--

“Bye!” His team bids you farewell enthusiastically. Hoseok texted the rest of the group to share the interesting connection you have to their boss. The entire ride home, Hoseok and Jimin attempt to have a decent conversation with you and learn more about you than Namjoon ever did in his two encounters. Namjoon stayed quiet and kept looking out the window the whole ride.

You and Namjoon walk into the building, you waving back to his team and Namjoon just heading towards the elevator.

You finally take out your cellphone, now that you’re technically back in your organic environment and see 5 missed calls, 2 voicemails, and 8 texts from Soobin.

- I thought you were in trouble!

- I tried coming back to your place, but the security is really top notch here. They won’t let anyone back in without a tenant profile or a name on the visitor’s list.

Maybe that’s why the Grinch chose this place, for it’s security. But how could the other car come into the parking garage? Perhaps it’s not so safe afterall.

- Don’t worry, you text back, I’m fine. I just got caught up in unpacking something and it just spiraled into a whole thing. I’m fine. I’m going to go to sleep now though. I just went through a whole thing.

He immediately texts back.

- Okay. I’m coming over tomorrow to check in on you. Please put me on the visitor’s list?

- Lol okay. Goodnight.

Ding! The elevator opened and you two step into the elevator. Namjoon presses the top floor first and lets you head up.

At floor 8, he finally says something.

“Look. I don’t know your name, what you do, what happened to you before, or how you know how to do the things you did tonight. But I am sorry I got you in this mess. I will move out. I can have my men install a top notch security program that was built by Yoongi. If you want, I can even find you a whole new penthouse and pull some strings to move you there and set up the security. Whatever happened to you before, I’m almost certain that it was not a good experience, so I’m sorry you may have re-lived it.”

Wow, that’s so many ‘sorry’’s in one night coming from some guy like him. You peek a glance over at him.

“...Why did you call me Candy Cane?” Namjoon had the strongest urge to shift out of embarrassment and surprise, but he stood firm. He did sigh however. How is it only floor 25?

“The moment you opened the door. That’s what you looked like to me. A beautiful candy cane.” Your cheeks flush red, and that’s not an easy reaction to get out of you.

“Thank you.” Namjoon just grunts.

Level 30.

“I work in tech, so I’ll find a way to build my own security system. Although, now I so many changes to my current program now that I know the bigger risks...I will take you up on your offer, but I’m don’t want a new penthouse. I’m going to put it in my back pocket as an IOU.”

Ding! Level 59.

You step out of the elevators.

“Thank you for apologizing. I know that couldn’t have been easy for you,” you continue to mutter under your breath, “even though you shouldn’t have such a hard time with it in the first place.”

“Yeah, I’m working on it.” He heard you.

You look back at him. He truly looks embarassed and disappointed with himself.

Before the doors close, you hold it back and it opens back up.

“Hey, thanks for doing your best at protecting me.”

“It felt more like you were protecting me.”

“And what’s wrong with that? You have so many peope protecting you all the time. I’m just one of the few.”

“Not to me, Candy Cane.” You smile at him for real for the first time since you opened the door to him, not recognizing the can of worms you’d open.

“My name is Y/N...but I like kind of like Candy Cane.” Namjoon finally smiles at you for real for the first time at all.

“But now, I like your name, Y/N.” You let out a smirk.

“What’s yours?”

“Namjoon.”

The elevator doors cry out an annoying beeping noise to remind you two that the doors have been open for too long.

You pull Namjoon’s sleeve and take him out of the elevator. He didn’t expect it and he slammed right into you, him wrapping his arms around your waist and your hands over his arms. He looks down at you and gives you such a gentle smile, you’re caught a little off guard. He gives you a little squeeze and makes you look up to him.

“A little rough there, Candy Cane.”

You giggle, “I should give you a nickname.”

“I thought it was Mr. Grinch.”

“I mean, if you really want to keep that. I’m giving you a once-in-a-lifetime chance to change it.”

“Okay. I want to be Handsome Man.”

“Ooo,” you wince, “Someone’s already taken that nickname.”

It almost stuns him for a second, but you start laughing, “We’ll keep thinking. Right now we have Mr. Grinch and Handsome Man in the running.”

“Mmm, Handsome Man is sooo good though.” He leans in just a bit and you can feel his breath on your cheek.

“We should really get some sleep, Namjoon.” He took the hint and loosened his grip on you, but not completely.

“Sure thing, Candy Cane. Sweet dreams.” His grip on you didn’t loosen the same way yours didn’t on him.

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“Will you tell me what happened to you before?” Your smile begins to falter as you slowly let go of his arms. He took the signal and slowly unwrapped his arms around your waist.

“I haven’t really told anyone, and I’m nowhere near telling anyone. You already know more than anyone in my life right now just by what I said earlier tonight.” Namjoon felt stunned and a little mad at himself. Even if he didn’t know what you’ve gone through, he brought an innocent person into his mess, and he likes you too. Now that he knows that you’ve gone through something you find unspeakable, any thoughts he had 

He slowly takes a step back, “Once again, I’m sorry.” He pushes his hand backwards to press the elevator button. Ding!

As he steps into the elevator, you call out to him, “Namjoon!” He holds the door open button.

“You want to bring your boys by some time? I can make you guys a thank you dinner and we can test out if Yoongi’s security system or my security system works better...” Your words are met by an agreeable grunt.

“And I don’t want you to move out. But we should probably inspect closer to why the parking garage let them in with our building’s security. If any or either of us continue living here, this building has to be be the best at security.”

Namjoon’s ears perked up when he heard that you don’t want him to move out, “Really? You’re okay with me sticking around?”

“Yeah sure. The best way to test a security system is to have a huge target worth breaking in.” You smirk.

“Wow, you know I’m pretty important in my circle you know? And you’re just keeping me around like bait?”

You shrug, “It’s time you find out that this world is a lot bigger than your circle.”

Amused, he smirks, “Good night, Candy Cane.”

“Good night, Handsome Man.” You cross your arms and tilt your head a little to keep eye contact with him until the door closes until you turn around and head into your bedroom.

As Namjoon leans back and tilts his head to the wall, he’s learned a few more things about you.

One, your name is Y/N.

Two, You’re a badass that can take anything he dishes out, regardless of your experience that he’s so curious about.

Three, despite that, if he can ever get a chance with you, and you both want it, this is real and he has to protect you above all else.

And that is the story of how Namjoon, a mafia boss, lost his penthouse.