#thinspo accountability accountability partner

[sillyxmutt]

Hey everyone! I've been lurking on hornyblr on my main for a while now (please do not ask for my main), and I finally wanted to make my own account!

!This account has dark kink!

♡Call me Willow or Mutt! They/them, he/him, or it/its pronouns please U^ェ^U

♡I am 22 years old! MINORS DNI

♡Bisexual with preference for women! I am also t4t!

! Any and all scenarios I post have consent implied!!!! I do not condone any dark kink without extensive consent and safety!!!! Take care of yourselves and your partners!!!!

Kinks under the cut!

I will be posting about:

Cnc, intox, choking, smothering, free use, occasional corruption, pup play, monsterfucking, orgasm denial, overstim, and others! I will try to tag everything I post!

Limits:

Race play, orientation play, teacher/student (especially highschool), ANYTHING RELATING TO MINORS, fauxcest, scat, feet, tickling, extremely degrading feederism, ana/thinspo, yandere. Possibly others, but this is what I know my limit is now

[shoiboi]

Thoughts

Part of me kind of thinks (After losing another set of relationships) that none of them especially cared for me, I mean how could they, no one truly cares about me, as no one, absolutely no one has figured out I'm anorex!c, people refer to their time as an ana adult as a untethered experience, suddenly no ones watching you anymore, but no ones watched me from the start, my family encouraged me to lose weight, praised me, this is the only place I even admit that I'm anorexic, no one visits me but I still maintain the illusion in my home that I'm fine, fight the urge to put up thinspo everywhere, keep my scale in the kitchen, part of me wonders why I bother as, as I said before, no one visits me. I don't even write in my dairy that I'm anorexic, the most I have is this and some hidden files in my phone, like anyone would even want to read my dairy haha...

At times I feel like i've danced close to the edge with partners and family. I'm not intolerant to anything you damn fools, Its not the least bit sus to you that I can only eat low cal foods?? I've sat through dinners and not eaten a thing cus of 'stomach aches' or because the menu wouldn't work with my "intolerances"

God i've spent whole holidays starving myself, partly because I'm terrified of being big and being devalued because of my size and half because I have to keep up my lies about intolerances and allergies, and now I'm alone again and currently yo-yoing between binging and starving, Im not good at making friends, or keeping them, mostly I want people to come to me ATM because I've spent the last 5-6 years going to everyone else, I'm tired of being the only one to put in the effort.

Look at me, even here I censor myself so much, like anyone who knows me would find this account, or be able to identify me, I'm so paranoid, and I have no need to be really.

[sicklikeaudreyhepburn]

What is your relationship with food?

Trigger Warning: If you are struggling with an ED or are navigating your own topsy turvy relationship with food, please contemplate whether or not reading my experience will be helpful or harmful to you in this moment. Much love.

What is your relationship with food? That’s the question that prompted me to start this blog. A person didn’t ask me this question, I saw it in some advertisement, I couldn’t tell you what it was selling. My eyes glazed over the ad bar at first but then as the words sunk in, I realized that my answer is lengthy. And incredibly complicated. When I read the question again, I recognized a pit in my stomach and felt compelled to get to the bottom of that discomfort. 

As many young women can probably relate, food is my frenemy. Can’t live with it, can’t live without it (literally!). Food means so many things... sustenance, community, comfort, creativity, an expression of love, to name a few friendly connotations. Food’s dark side can’t be overlooked, however: hunger, restriction, bingeing, purging numbing, isolating, addicting. I’ve experienced both faces of food. 

Over the years, I’ve tried improving my relationship with food but it remains thorny. External relationships are like mirrors into the internal emotional world. This blog is an attempt to reflect on my emotions as well as the ways in which they tie into my health habits. These habits have ebbed and flowed over the years but through reflection and acknowledgement of my ups and downs, I go forward seeking balance and self-compassion.

At an early age, I began associating my body image and weight with the food that I consumed. I started demonizing certain foods and becoming compulsive about what and how much I was eating. I checked my weight every single morning. That number dictated my entire day. A pound lost? Glorious! A pound gained? Failure. 

Eventually, I grew exhausted of such restriction. I wanted to break free. I was angry at the confinement and rigidity I had forced upon myself. Gradually, I would rebel against the hungry ache in my belly by gorging myself with as much food as I possibly could, reaching for any and everything in my field of vision. In the immediate aftermath, I would feel defeated and heavy with self-loathing.

I cycled through restriction and binge. A loop many struggle to break out of. My personal life has brought many blows and losses over recent years. Each one has come with a different phase of food. When I lost a loved one, I lost my appetite with her passing. Nothing was appealing. Yet, the weight I lost and the “ideal body” I attained were meaningless. 

During the processing of my grief, I reflected on my body image preoccupations and became disgusted with myself for being so obsessed with my external appearance. In the shadow of immense loss, I felt furious with myself for ever caring about such trivialities. So again, I rebelled and swung the other way: I ate until I could barely move. I stuffed all of the awful feelings and distracted myself with fleeting tastes. 

Beyond my eating habits, I just generally stopped taking care of myself. I stopped exercising, wearing makeup, shaving... my morning face washing became occasional as opposed to routine.** Subsequently, my body and mind reflected this lack of TLC. I gained 15 lbs thereby alienating my entire wardrobe, felt physically horrible--achey and lethargic, broke out in painful cystic acne all over my face, got rashes on my face and abdomen (probably from stress), and became increasingly emotionally distressed. My sleep was disturbed by my late night snacking, my self-esteem and confidence plummeted as my body felt unrecognizable, and as a result, I isolated myself and withdrew from social situations.

Some of these issues continue to linger but I have made progress. I see a therapist and I am working on my grief reaction as well as regulating my emotions. Due to an injury, I haven’t been able to use my typical stress-outlet of exercise. I go for slow walks and I’m trying to incorporate creative outlets like art. I am starting to meditate and doing my best to observe with non-judgment. Every single day, I try to approach situations with self-compassion and patience... exploring challenges with curiosity instead of criticism. 

All of these present a unique challenge. But, I realize I am planting the seeds. It will take me days, weeks and months of repetition before they feel natural and like necessary parts of my day.

While I am trying to incorporate healthy habits in various realms of my life, I still struggle to rein in my eating patterns. When I am stressed, I go straight for comfort food. It is my friend in loneliness and my mood lift in times of sadness. It is a crutch that lets me hide away and remain stuck. The deeper I dig myself into weight gain and just feeling YUCK (over-stuffed and groggy because of the heaps of sugary munching), the less I want to get out there and live my life to the fullest. My distracting relationship with food has taken away from the richness of life because of the things, the beauty I haven’t been able to focus on.

On this blog, as I work toward balance, I will be documenting my experience with food and my experience as I follow a regimen to lose weight in a healthy and sustainable manner. This weight loss is to return to my healthy, normal weight as an active young woman. I naturally have a small frame, as does each of my family members. Prior to my complicated voyage with food, I was innately lithe.

After my aforementioned mega-rebellion against all things material and self-care and consequently feeling awful, I believe I have more clearheadedness toward weight regulation. I seek to care about my appearance while not being all-consumed or vain. I aim to approach weight loss through health--nutritious foods and choices that make me feel good from the inside out--as opposed to a projected “ideal body” to “achieve.” I can confidently say that right now, at my current weight and soft edges, I love my body and my reflection in the mirror. It is curved, womanly and tender. That being said, loving my body does not mean that I cannot shift my shape and continue to love it as it evolves. 

I am not focused on the number on the scale but I will be using a scale to document my numerical relationship with gravity. In my experience, when I do not weigh myself, I easily become frustrated by what appears to be a lack of progress. Seeing weekly weight changes has been helpful to me in the past but I plan on being particularly careful that I stick to scheduled weigh-days as opposed to checking frequently which can become discouraging in its own way. Additionally, I will be using a rough calorie count each day. Again, without much structure, I find myself guesstimating, either over or under, and then getting frustrated by the lack of precision and throwing in the towel. My approach includes numerical data which can be helpful to some and harmful to others. This is what I believe works for me and I plan to adjust accordingly if needed. I will be sharing weight lost but not SW, GW.

(If anyone is reading this, lol) I welcome any accountability buddies but want to stress that this is not a blog to encourage unnecessary or unhealthy weight loss practices. If it hasn’t been made obvious, I in no way advocate for disordered eating habits... I have experienced both restrictive and bingeing sides of EDs and each has brought emotional and physical suffering. 

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk! Lol. Just wanted to get everything off my chest! I hope that sharing my personal story invites some connection out there in the worldwide web.

I am excited to get started. Day 1: Sept. 29, 2109, check!

**I don’t mean to suggest that having or not having these habits is inherently healthy/good or unhealthy/bad. All of these are personal choices and ideally, they should come from a place of self-love, not neglect as it was in my case.

[veronicathegoddess]

note: this blog contains explicit adult content, please do not interact if you are a minor (last update: 12/05/23)

trigger warning:

this blog contains mentions and explicit descriptions of sexual activity, sexual and non sexual violence and hard kinks without mentions of consent or any form of content warnings. if this content is triggering to you, please do not proceed further.

about me:

i'm veronica. i'm an '02 baby and a queer, genderfluid, neurodivergent bratty switch.

i'm anti-capitalist, an intersectional feminist, atheist and solarpunk anarcho-communist.

my interests include: anime, art history, classical literature, writing, baking and music. 

do not interact:

🌸 if your blog is pro-misogyny/patriarchy and anti-feminist (fantasy included)

🌸 if you're a pro-ana/ed/thinspo blog

🌸 if your blog is pro-pedophilia, if you believe pedophilia is a sexuality or if you’re a map

🌸 if you're into bestiality (fantasy included)

🌸 if you're a feedee/feeder/feederism blog

🌸 if you're into incest (fantasy included)

🌸 if you're into raceplay and racial fetishization and use racial slurs

🌸 if you are christian, conservative, racist, right wing, homophobic, xenophobic, a terf, transphobic, ableist, sexist, an antivaxxer, a trump supporter, prolife or a bigot in anyway

🌸 if your blog is blank, does not have an age/birth year/age range in your bio or pinned post

🌸 if you're 40 or over

🌸 if you're a minor

general information:

🌸 i do not condone or endorse sexual activity of any form without voluntary consent from all involved parties.

🌸 everything i post here is fantasy. if being reenacted in real life, it should only be done safely and with consent.

🌸 as an SA victim, my blog is one of my forms of coping, take your judgement to someone who care.

🌸 this blog is a safe space for all, especially queer people and people of color. bigots, general bullies and shitty humans are not tolerated here.

🌸 i will not tolerate any harassment or bullying towards me so if you’re a dick to me, i will hurt your feelings.

🌸 my blog is not the place to enact your fantasies onto me because i will humiliate you so let's actively practice using the rules of consent instead of trying me.

🌸 my messages, submissions and replies are closed and i'm not opening them again.

🌸 mutuals can ask for my snapchat.

rules of interaction:

these rules apply to everyone who interacts with my blog:

🌸 be respectful, kind and considerate.

🌸 unless we’re mutuals, do not reblog my posts with your own additions.

🌸 do not interact with my posts to criticize or offer your personal opinions on my fantasies.

🌸 do not ask me about my SA. you are not owed my story and i will not be sharing it.

rules for asks:

🌸 do not send me sexual asks especially those containing fantasies that you have of me or of what you want to do to me. asking me about kinks is acceptable but everything else is off limits.

🌸 kindly stop asking for me to follow you, if i want to follow you, i will.

🌸 don't send asks about why i didn't respond to your ask.

faq:

q: do you have a dominant partner

a: no i do not and no you don’t have a chance.

q: are you single?

a: yes and i’m never gonna be interested in you.

q: can I send you money?

a: no because i don't know what your intentions are.

q: do you sell content?

a: no and i don’t intend to.

q: why don’t you post pics?

a: because i choose not to.

q: can we be friends?

a: no.

q: will you follow me?

a: no

q: do you play with persons online?

a: no and if i do, it's not going to be you.

q: what are your limits?

a: you don't need to know that because i do not interact sexually with my followers. non sexual limits are in this post.

q: do you have any other social media?

a: only personal accounts that i will not share with my tumblr followers

q: will you be my domme?

a: no

q: will you control my vibe/plug/toy?

a: no and stop sending me links to do so.

q: can i sext with you?

a: no.

q: do you have snap? can i add you?

a: yes i do. no you cannot.

main tags:

🌸 mine: all original text posts

🌸 gender neutral: non-gendered posts

🌸 rants and ramblings: random stuff

🌸 ask answered: all my asks

🌸 wlw: all my sapphic posts

🌸 domme thots: my domme posts

my kinks/fetishes:

🌸cnc

🌸 degradation

🌸 humiliation

🌸 dumbification

🌸 knife-play

🌸 gun-play

🌸 blood-play

🌸 impact-play

🌸 breath-play

🌸 fear-play

🌸 somnophilia

🌸 dacryphilia

🌸 quirofilia

🌸 breeding

🌸 edging

🌸 orgasm denial

🌸 bondage

🌸 shibari

🌸 free use

🌸 size kink

🌸 mommy kink

🌸 oral fixation

🌸 overstimulation

🌸 objectification

🌸 forced impregnation

🌸 praise

🌸 pet-play

🌸 exhibitionism

🌸 drugging

🌸 stalking

🌸 kidnapping

🌸 corruption

🌸 manipulation

🌸 gaslighting

🌸 ownership

🌸 blackmail

🌸 worship kink

[anx1ousbutterfly]

I'm going to start being more active here again. I've been distancing myself from this account for a while now but it's been making me feel very lost and alone, since no one around me is struggling with the same things.

Yesterday I went to the doctor with my partner to get my blood tested, and tell the doctor about my ED. I have appointments with inpatient and outpatient care at two different hospitals. My first appointment is the 24th of May, and my second one is the 15th of July. The last one is the hospital I actually want to go to, but since the waiting lists are so horribly long I decided to contact a second hospital.

I've been abusing a shit ton of laxatives the past week because I've been eating way more than I planned. I'm weak, exhausted and in a lot of pain right now.

My partner is becoming very frustrated with my illness. I don't blame him tbh, he's mad because he really wants to help me get better, but he knows he can't do anything but hold my hand through the storm.

I hate this disorder. If I could just snap my fingers and make it disappear I would do it in an instant. I wish I never relapsed. Maybe then I would still be in school, I would have a job right now, and I wouldn't be scared to go on vacation with the people I love. I hate this, and it's causing me to be even more self-destructive than I usually am.

So I will put this post here as a trigger warning.

It's very hard for me to think straight. My memory doesn't work properly. I'm angry and depressed, even more than I was a month ago. I think I'm experiencing some type of psychosis or dissociation right now. I don't have much positivity left in me.

So if you're sensitive to these things:

Depression, eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, PTSD, psychosis, dissociation

Self harm (I will never post or reblog photos of fresh/open wounds)

Horror, blood (again, I will never post photos of open wounds, but blood might appear bc of my fascination with horror)

Negative self talk, mention of self harm, drug abuse, sexual harassment, abuse, sexual trauma, ...

Thinspo, bonespo, questionable and possibly dangerous content about wanting to lose weight/be thin, etc

Or if you suffer from a mental illness, MAINLY AN ED AND PTSD, but also mental illness in general tbh, don't look at my blog, or proceed with caution. If any of my posts make you uncomfortable or trigger you, don't be scared to block me. If you are offended or have issues with certain things I say, reblog, or post in general, you can send me a message. I might not respond directly, but since I'm not always in the right state of mind when I post, I understand if some things I post are too problematic, even for this side of tumblr. I want to know, and I'm open to learning about it.

I don't really know what else to say. So I'll wrap it up here. I hope y'all can find the strength to take as much care of yourself as you possibly can.

[soft-emo-baby]

DNI

Do not interact meaning:

Do not follow me ✩ Do not like and/or comment my posts ✩ Do not share or save any of my posts ✩ Do not screenshot ✩ Do not DM me ✩ Do not tag me anywhere

Do not interact:

If you know me online or in person/in real life ✩ MIK (minor in k!nk) ✩ Dd/Lg and variants (even if "SFW") ✩ ABDL and age play (even if "SFW") ✩ MAP and NOMAP (minor attracted person and non offensive minor attracted person) ✩ NSFW ✩ BDSM ✩ pet play ✩ you sexualize age regression (mine or anyone else's) ✩ you plan to "switch" to Dd/Lg (or variants) at some point ✩ you try to be my caregiver/daddy/mommy/lover/sexual partner/sugar ✩ anti age regression, anti age dreaming, anti pet regression and/or anti caregiver regression ✩ if you think pet regression doesn't exist or is invalid under the argument that "you can't regress to something you've never been" ✩ anti furry ✩ if you don't respect pronouns and/or neo pronouns ✩ anti LGBTQ+ / LGBTphobic ✩ Trump supporter ✩ blue lives matter /all lives matter ✩ racist, xenophobic, asianphobic, anti immigrants ✩ anti feminism, misogynistic, sexist, you think patriarchy doesn't exist, you use the term 'feminazi' ✩ neo nazi ✩ traumacore ✩ gore and violence ✩ self harm ✩ body shame ✩ thinspo, fitspo, pro Ana, pro mia, pro ED's and anything related to eating disorders or losing weight, I'm recovering from anorexia ✩ discredit psychological disorders ✩ make fun of mental health ✩ ableist ✩ hate and bullying ✩ make/spread drama ✩ pro life / pro birth ✩ incest ✩ clovergender, kindergender, transage ✩ truscum ✩ crosstagging ✩ if you want to be my "friend" having other intentions (such as relationship, sexual intentions, giving you free art, etc) ✩ empty accounts ✩ spam followers and/or messages for "promoting" or "collab" ✩ if you wouldn't show your your account to a toddler / if your account is not safe for a toddler ☆ true crime ☆☆☆☆☆

This is to keep my agere a safe space, not only for me because it's my copying mechanism but for the ones that follow me, this is a safe space for everyone (except if you're in/break my DNI).

[cloudslittlemuffin]

Welcome to my blog! 🎉

🫧READ DNI BELOW 🫧

I’m rue! (he/they/she) I’m part of the little space community!

No hate will be tolerated on my page! ✨

I’m genderfluid, adrosexual and mlm!

I have a caregiver and a boyfriend but I’m always looking for more friends! 🧁

! MY DNI <(￣︶￣)> !

🫧DNI INCLUDES:

Speaking to me IRL

Texting me on any social media platforms nor via txt messages

Liking, sharing or re-posting any of my post/blogs

Being a follower or following someone who goes against my DNI

Texting my Sibby, Caregiver or posting partners to talk to me

Making multiple accounts/blogs to contact me

🫧DNI IF:

Any NSFW/ Kink, including, cgl, ddlg & variants cglre and their tags, immunity is a follow or afflicted with cglre.

Thinspo , pro self harm, discourse blog, etc.

Map, Nop, Nomap, P3do, etc.

Any exclusions of the LGBTQA+ community (REGs)

Spreading hatred towards other agere /regressor/petre accounts

Anti LGBTQA+ INCLUDING Lesboys.

You are ablest, racist, homophobic, transphobic, etc.

Anti xenogender or neopronouns

Like Dream & the smp

Like Killing Stalking (the manga)

Don’t use Tone Indicators

[squinkpup]

｡*ﾟ+ about me + *ﾟ｡

hi, welcome to my gender hoard blog >:3

my name is casper finn! i'm 19 years old, transmasc, biromantic questioning acespec, polyamorous, + a lot of xenogenders and other labels lol. nicknames i go by are cas(s), finn, ghost (our system name), and bug :) my birthday is august 11th! i have three lovely, amazing partners, who i live with <3

important information under this!

here is a link to my carrd! i'm still working on it n stuff but yea!

my main pronouns are he/him and i always prefer those ones, but i do have lots of neopronouns. find the list of neopronouns i use on my carrd linked above! i'm pretty much fine with any neos but if i ask you not to use specific a specific set pls respect that !! i might try out pup themed first person neos soon ;; 👀

i am a white american. i don't really associate with any religion because of trauma.

i am autistic and the host of an OSDD-1b system; i also have adhd, bpd, cptsd, tics, depression, and anxiety. i am physically disabled.

i love making friends, so feel free to shoot me a message if you'd like! but please read my boundaries (down towards the bottom) before you do! <3

dni information

discourse makes me incredibly uncomfortable and i don't want any part in it at all, so this userbox generally stands:

that being said, i don't want anyone to think that i condone things that i don't, so here is a rather wordy dni i had up at one point:

(i'm not going to go through my notifications constantly and check to see if people are violating this dni, because i get quite a lot of notifications and i genuinely do not have the time for that in my adult life, but please just be a decent person.)

• basic dni criteria

• anti-mogai, TERFs/SWERFs, aspec exclus, anti-pan, pronoun policer, gendercritical, nonbinary skeptic, anti-queer, anti gnc, radfem, anti-neopronouns, zoophile/supporter, super straight/bi/pan/gay/etc., anti pronoun-nonconforming people/think pronouns = gender, think expression = identity, anti aroallo

• MAP/p3d0/whatever they're calling themselves now, pro-ship/anti-anti, anti sfw agere/petre, if you sexualize sfw age regressors, minors in kink/supporters, fetishizer (mlm, wlw, trans people, poc, etc.), support incest, anti sex work

• anti BLM/ACAB, pro-blue lives matter, believe that reverse racism/cishetphobia/etc. is a real issue, antisemite, nazi supporter/sympathizer, alt-right / conservative / right wing / etc.

• cringe/flop blogs, anti cringe culture, you make fun of anyone for their interests/identity/etc. (educating people about harmful things doesn't count but don't harass), fakedisordercringe supporter, any cringe account supporter in general

• anti-self dx, autism speaks supporter, anti-kin, anti DID/OSDD/systems, system skeptic, thinspo/pro ana, if you infantilize mental illness or neurodivergence, sh blogs, gatekeep kin, s*1c1d3 bait people, harass or threaten people, use high/low functioning terms, fakeclaimer or support fakeclaiming, stigmatize mental illness, syscourse

which can all be summed up as: don't be an asshole

boundaries:

• do not interact romantically, s3xually, or flirtatiously if you are younger than 18 or, like, way older than me (hopefully this should be obvious)

- (if you're joking, please use tone tags. i won't know otherwise and will probably block you)

• as stated above, PLEASE use tone tags when communicating with me.

• please do not talk to me about discourse, like at all. i don't want any part of it. especially not syscourse of any kind - do not ask me where i stand, please. it's triggering, uncomfortable, and makes me very anxious and stressed. if i have done something wrong, please let me know so i can fix it, but otherwise please leave me out of any drama, discourse, etc. this blog is a special interest blog and a safe, comforting space for me and i'd like to keep it free of stress and negativity.

request rules:

i'm opening requests! here are some things to keep in mind:

• please be nice!

• my requests are always open, but i will get to them on my own time.

• types of requests i will do are pronoun flags, gender flags, and terms; i have never done orientation flags/terms, but i can probably try if you give me enough information!

• i will try my best to help find names, labels, pronouns, etc. if requested!

• i will not make anything relating to communities i do not belong to, such as poc specific terms, religion specific terms, cultural specific terms, terms relating to disabilities/disorders/etc. i do not have, etc. (i will, however, make things relating to angels, demons, and stuff like that if requested)

• i reserve the right to deny requests that make me uncomfortable or that i feel i cannot do

• i cannot promise anything. i have severe executive dysfunction and my motivation/ability to complete tasks/focus on things is absolutely not consistent. if i haven't completed your request, know that i'm trying my best and i apologize.

• i am okay with creepy, gory, horror, and/or (some) s3xual related themes, but as i stated before, i reserve the right to deny a request if it makes me uncomfortable

- do not request anything s3xual if you are a minor. i would prefer s3xual requests to be off-anon so i can make sure, but obviously i can't enforce that, so please just. respect this. i'm an adult and i do not want any type of inappropriate interaction from minors. please.

taglist:

i don't really have a fancy tagging system yet, so i'll update this section when i do!

for now, my only tag is:

#casper coins - which is. you know. things i coined/created

sorry this was so long !! i hope you like my blog (*＾3＾)/～♡

[sorry-but-we-have-moved]

🌟✨𝓑𝓵𝓸𝓰 𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓽✨🌟

Hi and welcome! I’m Lillian, and this is my main blog. I used to run @j00nkr4t before it was flagged for sensitive media (i protested the NSFW ban). Since my older blog represents a time when i was much more bigoted, and i’ve grown as a person, i opted for a fresh start. With that out of the way...

🛑 D O  N O T  I N T E R A C T with me if you are: 🛑

Under 18

MAP/Pear/pedophile

MAGA/Trump supporter

Anti-BLM

LGBTQIA+ exclusionist

Aphobic

Terf/Truscum/Transmed/Transphobic

Pro-life

Fatphobic

Pro-Blue Lives Matter

Panphobic

Proana/thinspo/meanspo

LGB/Trans-exclusionist/THAT kind of radfem

Enbyphobic/Non binary exclusionist

Pro Autism Speaks

Ableist

Anti MOGAI

Some stuff about me (I’ll try and update this as regularly as possible. Bigger sections separate blog info from personal info):

⚪ Anon? ⚪

I never go on anon to be honest. I’m gonna say what i say and show that it’s me saying it. However, i allow anon asks, so if you’re a little shy or whatever go ahead!

🎂 Birthday 🎂

March 11, 1996.

🐱 Cats or dogs? 🐶

😻 Cats! I love dogs too (Huskies especially!), but i’m a certified crazy cat lady. Currently caring for a calico, her name is Fornia. Like California. (’cause we live here)

🟪 Discord/Twitch 🟢

🄰🄽-🄸🄶🄼🄰 #2173

In addition i run a couple discord servers, Memescene and ArticleArchive.

ArticleArchive: https://discord.gg/z6jtvhKQRA - For educational purposes. We archive images and articles from Wikipedia, Wikimedia, and other sources to compile free information for people in studies. - Subjects like LGBT+, biology, topography, world cuisine and more are discussed and archived! 13+ MemeScene: https://discord.gg/nY4EpSe - Purely for sharing, creating and consuming meme media. Was started on April Fool’s day 2019 and has gained a small following! 13+ MyMOGAI: https://discord.gg/Y54C3Pae25 - I’ve recently started a new blog, @my-mogai​, which aims to represent little-known or little-supported branches of the LGBTQIA+ community, while also giving fandoms a boost of inclusiveness. 18+

https://www.twitch.tv/zourcherri

🎬 Favorite Film Genres? 🎬

Horror, Animation, Sci-Fi, Paranormal and some Romance and Comedy. Oh, and be sure to recommend me any good Musicals you find as well!

👾 Favorite Games? 👾

Terraria Final Fantasy 12 Borderlands 2/PreSequel Team Fortress 2 Nier: Automata Kingdom Hearts 1 SimCity

🐾 Furry? 🐾

🐾 Furry, 100%! (And it doesn’t mean i want to do anything inherently s*xual or gross. It just means i really like anthro character designs!) I have alot of furry OCs as well, which i’ll eventually get around to introducing.

🎮 Game Fandoms? 🎮

Borderlands, Animal Crossing, Kingdom Hearts, Nier, Final Fantasy, Gex, Monster Hunter, Terraria, Halo, Crash Bandicoot, Driver, Telltale, Team Fortress 2, Portal, Rhythm Heaven, Ace Attorney, Gosh there’s alot of ‘em to name here. I also love to discuss game lore, so feel free to send asks or DMs related to that stuff!

Hobbies

🎨 Art - Some traditional, but mostly digital and 3D. - I now have two side blogs i use, specially made for posting artwork and sharing other’s art. (l3m0n-l4dy, strawberry-scented-psx-logo) 🍴 Cooking - Started small, but now i have over 50+ original recipes. I’ll share one every now and then. - I’ll also share cooking tips and hacks. 🔊 Micspam - Be careful if you use Discord servers like Fortnite, Rainbow Six Siege, Valorant, PUBG/PUBG Mobile or Black Ops; i frequent these. I’ll post compilations of my micspam escapades from time to time. - I’ve also recently begun doing audio mashups and edits. 📷 Photography - I take out a digital camera sometimes to snap a pic of something outside i find neat, film some clouds, or take photos of animals. 📄 Writing - Another hobby i’m insecure about. I have a ton of drafts i add onto and add onto, but hardly ever share with anyone. Hopefully soon, i will. - I recently started an AO3 account, so this is picking up some steam at least.

📝 Nicknames? 📝

I’ve decided to start going by Cherri/Anigma.

But you can also call me Crystal, Krystal, or cry/krystie.

💞 My Besties 💞

Let me know if you want added to/removed from this list!

@kamkairo @handsome-jackoff @silverdashipper @angiethewitch @rust-4-life @gofficangel @of-faunsandyellowflowers @moniiirose @redback-phoenix-the-raptor @ginger-the-espeon​ @handsome-jackoff​ @michellespenscratchz​ @trans-bloblobber​

💌 My Favorite Blogs! 💌

Let me know if you want added to/removed from this list!

@snowysaur @dp2282 @fairy-space @shitposts-from-the-borderlands​ @politijohn @p4radox99 @cort3d​ @handsomepeacock​ @mens-rights-activia​ @sleepypotatostudio​ @captainshivers​ @holographicai​ @bastardfrog27​ @97tysons-trans-rat-emporium​ @fairy-space​ @mspareader​ @yinx1​ @thecutestdinosaur​

💕 Partner 💕

@p0rtalmadness is everything to me. I feel what a puppy feels when their human comes home to them with you. Love you, want you, need you. All the way.

We’re an open relationship, but we normally don’t bring it up until both sides are comfortable!

🕚 Queue 🕚

I didn’t use the queue that much until recently. It works, but i have to fight the queue menu sometimes to get it to work properly lol. Expect some posts and reblogs to be automatically posted from 3 - 7 AM, or 1 - 9 PM. There may be a few odd-hour posts here and there.

Sexuality

Pan all the way!

Side Blogs:

@strawberry-scented-psx-logo​ (Stims) @lime-psx-logo​ (Games) @l3m0n-l4dy​ (Fandoms)

...In closing...

Content posted is highly inconsistent, and a majority is just reblogs. In order to navigate my original works, use my URLs as tags.

Right now, i don’t have submissions enabled (on strawberry i do, just not this blog). I just don’t see what COULD be submitted as content. But, if i figure out something in the future, then you’ll see the option appear on my blog.

[rattusrattus3]

💖FAQ and Navigation Post💖

＊*♡( ⁎ᵕᴗᵕ⁎ ）hello! this is intended to help manage my ask box, and serve as a resource for navigating my blog! Thank you! 

｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.My Blog is A Safe Space.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*..

Links

My Etsy (use code GOBLIN for 20% off anything)

My Youtube (has makeup tutorials, room tours, video of my trolls and closet!)

My instagrams 

Personal account

My cats account

Costume account

Other stuff i make account

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

My outfits 

My Playlists (x)

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Costume Tutorials (all costumes by me):

Floral Fairy (model: Gerhardt, she/they/he)

Mushroom (model: Amanda, they/them)

Dusk (model: Ren, they/them)

Night Sky (model: me, they/them)

Sun (model: Okong’o, he/him)

Moth (model: Sophie, they/them)

Cherry Blossom Fairy (model: me, they them)

Elf Wear

How I make my fairy bras

Flower crown tutorial

Fairy skirt Tutorial

DIY Fairy Wings

Pastel Knitted Blanket

My Zines (how i make them) (rookie mag tutorial)

How to make your own toiletries

Save the Bees

Fairy Food

Making Your Own Tea

Tuna (poem)

Personal Queer Experiences and The Scientific Gaze (check TW before reading pls)

NAVIGATION/MY TAGS

My Content

Personal / Me / rabbit rambles (my text posts/life updates) / goblin ootd (my outfits) / mine (general posts that are mine) /costume making / wip  (work in progress) / 

my hula hooping (escalator tutorial)

my hoards 

my room (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (ive lived in a lot of rooms)

My Crow Friends (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) 

My Recipes

vegan chocolate chip cookies

vegan lavander lemon loaf 

My Pals

Caige (my partner) (x)

Tuna (my and my partners tailless cat) (x)

Lemon (my and my partners cat) (x)

Ren (my best friend)

parents (x)

fan art (thank you so much to everyone who has ever made art of me, i love u with all my heart and u all deserve the world i am so blessed ‘-’ @emmylemonade @fern-draws​ @the-oblivion-gate @knittingnoodle @sacreddot @dawnoftheagez​ (i might have missed some and if i did im so sorry pls message me so i can tag u !!)

Reblogs

self care / mental health / fairy self care

fashion / makeup /shoes / hair

inspiration / fav

room inspiration

feminism / political / capitalism / fuck the rcmp

art / comics / lore

wlw / mlm

lgbtqia+ / lgbt / gender /sex

cats / bunnies / rats  / mushrooms / corvids

moodboards /stim

witchy

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

FAQ

All asks

My hair (video tutorial) (written routine) (x) (x) (x) (x)

Armpit/body hair (x) (x) (x) 

My fashion (masterpost) (staples) (modifying clothes tips, x) (costume making tips, (x) (x)) (where i get patches and pins) (confidence tips, x) (thrifting tips x, x) (inspiration x) (punk/faerie fashion advice) (skirts advice) (closet tour video from my YouTube)

Room decor advice (x) (x), (how i hang sheets on the ceiling x) (room tour video)

My boots (x) (x)

Fake freckles (x)

My Makeup (every day tutorial) (tips)

Crow feeding tips (x)

My Trolls (x) (troll doll video)

How to use fae pronouns (x)

Music recs (playlists) (x) (x) 

My Ethnicity (x)

My Piercings (x) (lip piercings) 

My Tattoos (artist: Caige baker, my partner)

My backpack (x)

My art (x) (x)

My Moodboards (x)

Tea Recommendations (x)

my name (x), my height (x), substance use (x)

my job/career/idk (x) (x), what I do in my spare time (x)

Adding Magic to your life (x)

How I collect my shinies (x)

Book Recs (x)

Fae recs (x), (goblincore blogs (x), what’s gremlincore/goblincore? (x))

DIY ideas (x)

My gender (x) (x), (coming out tips), (my sexuality), (labels), sexuality asks (x) (x), feminism ask (x)

My self care (x), chill out routine (x), falling asleep tips (x), getting outdoors tips (x), staying focused at school tips (x) GNC period tips (x)

positivity and affirmations (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

How do I edit my photos? Snapchat, SNOW, and VSCO sometimes

Can I Draw You? YES please tag me/send it to me so i can see!

Will you make me a custom costume/art piece/piece of jewelry? YES message me to talk details and pricing! 

What do your tags mean?

#mb = moodboard

#goblin ootd = goblin outfit of the day

#rabbit rambles = just my talking about shit 

No blog rates (x) 

Sources of inspiration/influences: W.I.T.C.H. comic, Emily the strange, Neil Gaiman, Tony Diterlizzi, Jim Henson, Emilie Autumn, troll dolls, vintage toys and fashion, italian folk music, ramshackle glory/folk punk, folklore and fairytales, drag and gender fuck fashion, cats, mythical creatures, Rookie Mag, fairy kei, goth, punk, lolita fashion, pastel goth, creepy/cute aesthetics, post apocalyptic stuff, 

Mental Health Resources:

Mental Illness Happy Hour Podcast, i especially recommend using their search box for finding specific topics, and using the forum to chat about mental health stuff, the surveys are fantastic as well 

DEPRESSION

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE (2433) – Can use in US, U.K., Canada and Singapore

Suicide Crisis Line: 1-800-999-9999

National Suicide Prevention Helpline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

National Adolescent Suicide Helpline: 1-800-621-4000

Postpartum Depression: 1-800-PPD-MOMS

NDMDA Depression Hotline – Support Group: 1-800-826-3632

Veterans: 1-877-VET2VET

Crisis Help Line – For Any Kind of Crisis: 1-800-233-4357

Suicide & Depression Crisis Line – Covenant House: 1-800-999-9999

Trans Lifeline: https://www.translifeline.org/

National Alliance on Mental Illness  www.nami.org

DOMESTIC ABUSE

National Child Abuse Helpline: 1-800-422-4453

National Domestic Violence Crisis Line: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

National Domestic Violence Hotline (TDD): 1-800-787-32324

Center for the Prevention of School Violence: 1-800-299-6504

Child Abuse Helpline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)

Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-800-548-2722

Healing Woman Foundation (Abuse): 1-800-477-4111

Child Abuse Hotline Support & Information: 1-800-792-5200

Women’s Aid National Domestic Violence Helpline: (UK Only) 0345 023 468

Sexual Abuse Centre: (UK Only) 0117 935 1707

Sexual Assault Support (24/7, English & Spanish): 1-800-223-5001

Domestic & Teen Dating Violence (English & Spanish): 1-800-992-2600

Rape and Incest National Network Online Help Center: https://ohl.rainn.org/online/

ALCOHOL & DRUG ABUSE

National Association for Children of Alcoholics: 1-888-55-4COAS (1-888-554-2627)

National Drug Abuse: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

Al-Anon/Alateen Hope & Help for young people who are the relatives & friends of a problem drinker): 1-800-344-2666

Alcohol/Drug Abuse Hotline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

Be Sober Hotline: 1-800-BE-SOBER (1-800-237-6237)

Cocaine Help Line: 1-800-COCAINE (1-800-262-2463)

24 Hour Cocaine Support Line: 1-800-992-9239

Ecstasy Addiction: 1-800-468-6933

Marijuana Anonymous: 1-800-766-6779

YOUTH & TEEN HOTLINES

National Youth Crisis Support: 1-800-448-4663

Youth America Hotline: 1-877-YOUTHLINE (1-877-968-8454)

Covenant House Nine-Line (Teens): 1-800-999-9999

Boys Town National: 1-800-448-3000

Teen Helpline: 1-800-400-0900

TeenLine: 1-800-522-8336

Youth Crisis Support: 1-800-448-4663 or 1-800-422-0009

Runaway Support (All Calls are Confidential): 800-231-6946

Child Helpline: (UK Only) 0800 1111

Kids Helpline: (Australia) 1800 55 1800

PREGNANCY HOTLINES

AAA Crisis Pregnancy Center: 1-800-560-0717

Pregnancy Support: 1-800-4-OPTIONS (1-800-467-8466)

Pregnancy National Helpline: 1-800-356-5761

Young Pregnant Support: 1-800 550-4900

Abortion Services Websites

https://exhaleprovoice.org

http://yourbackline.org

LGBTQIA+ HOTLINES

The Trevor Helpline (For LGBTQIA+ questions or problems): 1-800-850-8078

Gay & Lesbian National Support: 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender (GLBT) Youth Support Line: 1-800-850-8078

Lesbian & Gay Switchboard: (UK Only) 0121 622 6589

Lothian Gay & Lesbian Switchboard – Scotland: (Scotland Only) 0131 556 4049

OTHER HOTLINES/WEBSITES

Self-Injury Support: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288) (WWW.SELFINJURY.COM)

Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention: 1-800-931-2237 (Hours: 8am-noon daily, PST)

Eating Disorders Center: 1-888-236-1188

Help Finding a Therapist: 1-800-THERAPIST (1-800-843-7274)

Panic Disorder Information and Support: 1-800-64-PANIC (1-800-647-2642)

TalkZone (Peer Counselors): 1-800-475-TALK (1-800-475-2855)

Parental Stress Hotline: 1-800-632-8188

National AIDS Helpline: (UK Only) 0800 567 123

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous www.slaafws.org

BetterHelp online counseling www.BetterHelp.com/mental

Crisis Text Line  text  741741

Sexuality and Gender Resources

Scarleteen

DNI: kink/NSFW/porn blogs, transmed/truscum, terf/swerf, racists, antisemites, nazis, thinspo/pro-ana/pro mia blogs, MAP/NoMAP/Pedophiles 

[maraonthemoon]

hiii looking for someone to partner with me in my weight loss journey!! I need to be held accountable!! trying to lose 10 pounds by May 20 ! message me 🖤

#thinspo #ana #not pro just for me #skinny #recovery #weightloss

[gettingskinnnnny]

I’ll probably fill out my bio and stuff soon but I’m on a mobile browser only since i had to make a new account instead of a side blog so my partner doesn’t notice. anyway it’s relapse time,,, i’ve been on ed tumblr for a while but never actually had an account, but im finally making this as a place to vent and reblog thinspo and stuff

stay safe everyone

[falsehoodsanders]

Slipping

A/N: this is the first fic I wrote for the Sanders Sides fandom. Originally it was a prompt for @@something-sanders for the ts fic exchange organized by @the-prince-and-the-emo , however, I’m being re-assigned on my main so I thought I’d post it here! 

Ship: Romantic LAMP/CALM

TW: ANGSTY, eating disorders, self harm, suicidal thoughts, self hatred. You asked for angst so I brought angst. I’m sorry...

WC: 2236 (whoops) 

validate me ok bye

~River xx

Slipping

That was the only word that came to mind when he thought of himself. His entire existence at present was a metaphorical landslide, and he was slipping into the valley below with no way to make his way back up to the peak of the mountain. He knew he was needed, physically. He knew he was valued by the others and the Fanders. If he ducked out, there was no way Thomas could function without him. But what was there for him to help with aside from being necessary to his host’s physical well-being? He didn’t offer anything of value, not like the others did. The others gave thoughtful input into things Thomas should do. They helped him attain the goals he set for himself. They helped him see the good in the world, despite all of the negative things happening just outside his door. He couldn’t do any of that. Aside from being a “main side”, he wasn’t helpful. Wasn’t necessary. Wasn’t worth it.

He loved the other three with his entire being. He didn’t know he could love another as much as he loved them. When they first started their relationship, he fell hard and fast. It was bumpy but they managed to ride the storm until they found calmer waters. He could tell you a million different things he loved about each of them, but he didn’t know what they saw in him. There was something awe-spiring in the way their eyes sparkled when they spoke of something that they took pride in, or the way each of them had their own way of being intimate with one another, or the way they could communicate with each other with a simple gesture, like leaving sticky notes around the Mindscape, or having made a thoughtful breakfast to make the others feel loved. Loved. He felt loved. He was constantly reminded that he was, in fact, loved. But did he deserve it?

He knew what depression was. He saw the warning signs long ago. He knew he was just getting worse… but were the voices in his head really that wrong? They pointed out the flaws in his reflection, offering a not so gentle suggestion that he add a bit more makeup to his routine than before. He listened, but it wasn’t enough. They pointed out the weight he had gained and how overweight his attire made him appear. He had cut down his eating habits, tracking his calorie and carb intake as to not make the situation worse. He had lost a few pounds, but it still wasn’t enough. They whispered threats when he was forced to eat something with too many calories, saying he wasn’t trying hard enough to make himself perfect for his loves. He then ate what he was given by his beloved boyfriends, and once it was acceptable to leave the table, he rushed off to his bathroom and forced it all back up. He focused on the numbers, limiting himself to 500 calories a day, but it still just wasn’t enough. Soon the excess fat was gone, but the voices found more to critique. They pointed out that he needed to be more toned, to have a slimmer waist and more muscle to ensure that the others saw him as an appealing partner. So he went on long runs and took to the gym, weighing himself every morning and every evening to see the progress he had made, but it wasn’t enough. The voices wore him down, made him tired and weak, which then only fuelled them to keep pushing him to be stronger, more toned, skinnier, prettier… better.

He knew what an eating disorder was… he wasn’t stupid. But as he fell deeper into the hole he a dug himself, it soon became a routine. Wake up at 5am sharp. Go for a run around the Imagination until breakfast at 8. Eat breakfast with his boyfriends. Help with clearing the table and washing the dishes. Make it to his bathroom and force up the meal he just ate. Brush his teeth, drink some water and then eat a healthy snack of under 150 calories to replace the food that he brought back up. Spend time with his boyfriends in the commons until 11:30 where he would excuse himself to go workout, saying he had packed a lunch (a lie) and promised to stay hydrated (another lie) so he didn’t have to join them for lunch. Finish working out at 2:30, pushing himself to his absolute limits to make sure he burned more calories than he consumed. He would then shower for about 30 minutes and then stand in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at his reflection in disgust and making note of where he still needed to improve. Repeat breakfast scenario at dinner, which was at 6:30 on the dot, but allowing himself 200 calories for his replacement meal to hopefully keep his energy up to avoid suspicion from the others. Spend an hour with his boyfriends for “family bonding time” until retiring to his room at 8, claiming he was tired from his day and needed some sleep. He would stay awake until around 2am, trying to find new ways to make himself better for the loves of his life. They deserved the universe and more, and he would try his damnest to give them just that.

The voices never quieted down, always repeating harsh remarks towards him, until one struck a chord with him. He was reading a post about how to make his progress matter when he stumbled on a blog on tumblr. It soon became his favourite site to visit. He created his own account, followed this blog religiously and even put on notifications to see when they’d post their next thinspo picture. The more he scrolled, the more he found different ways of taking out his hatred on himself. The voices still weren’t happy with him, so he took to self harming. He knew it was dangerous. He knew it was an addiction. He knew that once he started it would be near impossible to stop, but the second the cool metal blade hit his inner wrist, he craved the sensation. So one cut became two, and two became four, and soon enough, he moved to his thighs and stomach because both arms were littered with scars; new ones that still stung, old ones that had faded to white until he reopened them again to see the crimson bubble on his skin before rolling down to hit the tile beneath him. He no longer wore sleeveless tops or shorts. He couldn’t risk his secret being found by the others.

“Roman?” a soft voice came from his door. Patton. Of course it was. Sweet, wonderful, compassionate Patton.

“Yes my love?” Roman replied, mustering all of his energy to sound as he should: regal, proper, confident… worthy.

“Can we come in?” Patton asked, “We need to talk to you.”

Of course. They were here to break up with him. They must have finally come to their senses.

Unlocking the door, he braced himself for what was to come with a solemn “Yes.”

Patton came in first, followed by Logan and Virgil, who all had a hesitant and almost sad look on their face. Their eyes scanned the royal side’s room, finding paper scattered across the floor, each with red X through whatever idea he had written down and words such as “stupid” or “insufficient” or “failure.”  His sword lay on the seat of the vanity, completely covered in blood stains that weren’t even attempted to be cleaned. The ever-growing collection of makeup and photos of the flawless, photoshopped models from the internet covered the vanity itself, along with notes on scraps of paper stuck to the mirror with more red coloured words like “worthless” and “ugly.” His Disney posters had been ripped off the walls and his curtains were shredded from the times he had taken his sword to them in a fit of rage. The scale placed in front of the mirror was surrounded by shattered glass, obviously from a previous mirror that Roman had punched in fear of his own reflection. And Roman himself. He sat on the floor in front of his bed. His eyes were red and puffy, his hair was sticking up in all different directions, he sat in his boxers, leaving his scars visible and a clear view of his ribs poking out from under his skin.

It took everything in the three to not freak out over what they saw. It would make the situation worse.

“I suppose you’ve come to your senses, then?” Roman asked, no longer trying to keep up his facade. His voice croaked from crying for days on end, never knowing when, or if, they’d stop.

“I’m not sure what you mean, my prince.” Logan spoke softly, almost as if not to upset Roman. It would have been endearing if Roman didn’t know what was going on.

“You’re here to break up with me, right? To tell me I’m useless, worthless? That all I do is drag you down and make your lives miserable? I’ve been expecting it for a while so you might as well just get it over with.”

Shock was evident on the other’s faces. They had no idea that this was how their Prince was feeling.

“Roman… we’re not here to do any of that.” Virgil whispered, worried that he would end up scaring him away.

Roman scoffed, “Well then what are you here for? I don’t know what else it could be. I don’t see why you care.”

Patton took Roman’s hand and squeezed lightly, “Roman, we’re here because we’ve been worried about you.”

“What for? I’m not worth the hassle.” Roman muttered, looking down at the ground to avoid the disgust he’d see on their faces.

The three looked at each other, making silent decisions on what to do next. Virgil made his way to the bathroom to get a soft cloth to clean his cuts.

“Roman, you are worth so much. You are irreplaceable. We are nothing without you.” Logan murmured, kneeling down to Roman’s height. He gently tilted his lover’s head up to look at him. All Roman saw was the tears in Logan’s eyes and the sadness that was evident across his face.

“You’re lying.”

Virgil returned with a damp cloth, carefully placing it on the thigh with blood dripping on the floor, “Ro, love. Why would we be lying?”

“I’m not good enough for you! That’s why!” Roman exclaimed, “You’re all perfect and wonderful and I don’t deserve you. You all have a purpose. Logan contributes his knowledge and passion for learning new things. Patton gives him emotions and helps him make strong bonds between him and his friends and family. Virge, babe… you keep Thomas cautious in the world we live in. You might work overtime a lot, but you’ve only tried to protect him. All I’m here for is to come up with ideas and I can’t even do that right. Plus, I hurt you without intending to and I can never forgive myself. Vee, I treated you like a villain for a long time and I hurt you in the process. I constantly patronize Pat without realizing it and I see the hurt in your eyes long after it happens. I fight with Logan all the time and make fun of him when he has a difficult time processing emotions. You’re all breathtaking too, and here I am; a fat, ugly, good for nothing side that has now hurt the three most important things in his life because he’s pathetic.”

There was a pause while they took in what Roman had just said, until Virgil broke the silence, “Roman. Look at me please.”

He does so, and he immediately regrets it. There are obvious tears streaking down his cheeks, messing up the eyeshadow beneath his eyes. Yet he still offers a small smile, comforting and warm.

“Roman. You have always been beautiful. Inside and out. You are… well… were so full of life. You cheer us up when we’re down, singing silly songs or making us waltz around the living room. When you sing Disney at the top of your lungs, it comforts us, knowing that you’re feeling happy, and sometimes we sing along. You may have done some not so nice things in the past, yes, but you’ve grown. We have seen you trying so hard to accept us and love us as we are.”

Tears threatened to fall down Roman’s face, but he wouldn’t let them. He couldn’t show them how weak he was.

“It’s okay to cry, Ro.” Patton spoke, “You encourage me to express all of my emotions, not just the happy ones. It’s time I repay you for that. Let it go.”

And so Roman did. He let all of his fears and worries and insecurities go as he sobbed in their arms. They all held him, whispering sweet nothings in his ear. It wasn’t perfect. It was far from perfect, but this was the beginning. The beginning of learning to love himself again, of recovering. It was a long road ahead, but the voices of his boyfriends drowned out the ones in his head. He felt safe. He felt wanted. He felt loved. And yes, he did deserve it.

[fr0zen-and-unscathed]

20-25? For the ask thing?? 💙💙

20. When were you born? I was born in Scotland, ik it’s bad but I can’t remember which hospital it was..21. Do you have a lot of friends? Lots it’s pretty ambiguous, but it comparison to others I have more online than real life, I consider a lot of people more of an acquaintance than a friend.22. How many followers do you have on Tumblr? Fuck if I know, I think around 160 75%+ are porn blogs so.23. What is your favourite thinspo account? The fuck is thinspo? Is this an American thing? If someone tells me what it is I’ll answer it later but for the time being, no clue.24. How often do you binge? All. The. Time. I love to binge watch stuff, then I can watch it again and again. Like I’ve seen how met you mother about 4 times (start to finish), sad but true.25. Favourite musician? Ofc the sexiest boyyo to ever be born, SLASH. Fucking beautiful, that’s why he is in my cover photo on tumblr as a gif also he is absolutely amazing at guitar.26. Favourite song? Rn your welcome from moana, but I love (now and then there’s) a fool such as I bu Elvis Presley, brilliant song.27. Are you LGBTQ+? Yeah I’m pansexual aswell as trans but recently I’ve started questioning being trans, so not sure where I land on that matter anymore.28. Have you ever cheated on your partner? How can one cheat on a partner if one has never had a partner. X)29. Did you ever steal something? As a child probably, but not to my knowledge.30. Are you jealous of someone who has less weight than you? Oh yeah, I hate the weight I am now, and I’m trying o change t but it will take a while :).Thanks for the ask m8, pretty sure I know who sent this,so hello to that person.

[eclecticdryad-blog]

the reality of recovering

i just recently experienced a two-day binge. it was really bad, actually. it began on friday with one of my danger foods. i assumed that i would have the control, like i always assume, to not eat the whole thing and be filled with immediate regret. one bite was all it took, though, to send all of those “oh this is so good, eat it all!” signals to my brain. not only did i happen to eat an entire thing of ice cream but this all happened in front of my partner. great. knowing that they’d finally seen one of my binges made me feel so shitty that i can’t even put it into words. i was bloated, exhausted with myself, and promised i would do better the next day. well, the next day started out well. i made myself a coffee and ate a smoothie bowl around the beginning of the afternoon when i felt hungry. what happened after, i have no idea how or why it occurred. three veggie hot dogs and half a pint of ice cream later, i was having a full on relapse. i was scrolling through thinspo, reblogging photos of women’s bodies that i wished were mine, and reading other people’s food diaries. i was so tempted to message someone to be my “ana” buddy (hate that term) but my better judgement prevented me from doing it. i sure, i want someone to be accountable to that will help me restrict but i could never, ever encourage someone else to harm themselves. so i scrolled and scrolled. a few minutes turned into hours and before i knew it, it was three am and i was preparing to complete a fast today. i wasn’t allowed to eat until 7:29 pm. when i woke up this morning, it took ALL of my strength to pull my body out of bed. i was emotionally and physically exhausted. i was eating shitty, not exercising, and not drinking enough water. i was dehydrated and bloated. in essence, i was hurting myself again really badly. tears streaming down my face as i brushed my teeth sucked. feeling like simply sitting in the shower instead of washing myself sucked. but i did it. i got clean. i made myself a coffee. that in itself, was me loving myself. whether i fully realize it or not. today, food wise, i’ve been better. much better than the last two days. the purpose of me writing this, is because i want to let someone else read the things that have been going on in my head lately. i am recovering from an eating disorder that has plagued my life for nearly two years now. i am gaining strength each day, mentally and physically. and with that strength comes accepting that not everyday is going to be “ooo recovery! i’m doing so well! i’m better! fuck ed!” some days i am going to restrict my oatmeal in the morning. some days i am going to not have the strength to get out of bed. some days the thought of food will make me nauseous. some days the sound of chewing will make me tear up. some days, i will eat and eat and eat until i feel like i’m carrying a rock in my stomach. but that. is. okay. because my recovery is not going to be some perfect, easy path. it is going to be messy, rocky, and ugly. but what matters is that i keep going, no matter what ed is whispering or yelling at me in my head all of the time. i always have to keep going. and you should too.

if you ever, ever need to vent. if you ever need to talk to someone. if you ever need to say how you really feel: please message me. i know what it feels like to not have anyone understand. my ask is always open.

you’ve got this.

[hannahvsana]

Please Stop Glamourising Eating Disorders. Please, Just Stop.

When you reach your ‘GW’, you will not be:

-An envy. People will not look at you and think “gosh, I wish I looked like that, how did they do it?”. They won’t. They’ll think “They look sick and need help.” No one will envy protruding hip bones at the beach.

-Popular. Before long you’ll have secluded yourself beyond belief. Whether you like it or not, when you’re starving your brain won’t have the energy to release certain hormones as it uses the little energy it has to keep you going. You’ll become depressed and vacant. You won’t have the energy to go out and socialise, you won’t be able to walk solidly for more than 20 minutes. Even if you do go out, you and I both know that your mind won’t be on the people you’re with. You won’t be able to run along the beach laughing with flower crowns on.

-A 'mermaid’. Yes the inspiration behind this post is the fact that I saw a piece of thinspo pop up, likening having an ED to being a mermaid. Apparently mermaids in the depths of the sea are light and carefree, beautiful and colourful, full of energy. Apparently so are people in the depths of an eating disorder. No.

-Able to stay 'pretty, not dead’. You can’t control it. You and I both know you cannot, simply cannot, control that voice in your head. If you’re not actively fighting it full time, it will destroy you. That’s it. Physically and mentally, it will destroy your body to the point that it starts digesting its own bones and corroding it’s own organs for fuel. Likewise, it’ll scramble your psyche till you don’t know what real happiness is anymore, what life was like before this, and it’ll get to the point when you don’t know if this whole thing is worth it anymore. It won’t stop unless you fight to make it, no matter how many tricks you use to boost your metabolism with one day of extra food, in a feeble attempt to stop the self destruction. No matter how you hide your eye bags, corroding teeth, your shedding broken hair. Sound pretty?

-Be able to have dainty little hands to hold teacups, partners’ hands or bouquets of flowers. They won’t be dainty and cute, they’ll be skeletal and trembling, whether that’s with the constant anxiety, the addiction to checking every inch of yourself, or the tiny weight of the cup.

-Prettier in your clothes. Nothing will fit and it’ll be baggy. All the clothes you used to love- pointless. The knee-high socks will even fall down, the ones thinspo tell you are so desirable. You’ll hate them anyway eventually because it is NEVER SATISFIED. NEVER.

-That tragic yet cute person. You won’t be Cassie Ainsworth or however you spell it, dancing on a bench or telling people how she didn’t eat so she could be “lovely”. People won’t look at you and think “ah bless, poor dear never eats”. It won’t be a romantic setting when you eventually breakdown and have to explain to those you love what you’re doing, it will be hysterical and somewhat traumatic. Strangers will think that you look like death and divert their eyes.

-An exception. You think you’re invincible, that you can pull 'it’ off. Nope.

Trust me when I say I know you can’t change how you think automatically, you can’t stop thinking these things over night. You have to fight it and it’s rare that anyone can do it alone. If you have an eating disorder and you know it but don’t think it’s that bad, that fact you have one is bad enough. Please help yourself. I’m not in a position to condemn anyone for not helping themselves, but PLEASE STOP ENCOURAGING YOUR BEHAVIOUR ONTO OTHER PEOPLE. Thinspo is toxic, no amount of “I don’t promote eating disorders or self harm"at the top of your blog will fix that. Claiming that your thinspo blog is "to help me feel comfortable and record my thoughts”. If you’re writing and or reblogging these posts, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM. It’s not inspiring, it’s potentially deadly. Eating disorders account for the highest death rates of any mental illness, and to encourage that behaviour is sick. The 'aesthetic’ edits and 'tragically beautiful’ posts are not going to change that