shoiboi

[shoiboi]

“you can suck in your stomach but your arms and thighs will always tell the truth”

[shoiboi]

this pic has me in a chokehold.

[shoiboi]

that scale wont go down on its own…

[shoiboi]

stop making excuses to eat, you should be making excuses to not eat

[shoiboi]

ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap ana pls give me a thigh gap

[shoiboi]

[shoiboi]

[shoiboi]

yeah heartbreaks hurts but have you ever binged on a food you were looking forward to and it just tasted sad and disappointing and all you’re left with is feeling like a overblown whale

[shoiboi]

what the fuck is an open relationship. die for me or go fuck yourself

[shoiboi]

Thoughts

Part of me kind of thinks (After losing another set of relationships) that none of them especially cared for me, I mean how could they, no one truly cares about me, as no one, absolutely no one has figured out I'm anorex!c, people refer to their time as an ana adult as a untethered experience, suddenly no ones watching you anymore, but no ones watched me from the start, my family encouraged me to lose weight, praised me, this is the only place I even admit that I'm anorexic, no one visits me but I still maintain the illusion in my home that I'm fine, fight the urge to put up thinspo everywhere, keep my scale in the kitchen, part of me wonders why I bother as, as I said before, no one visits me. I don't even write in my dairy that I'm anorexic, the most I have is this and some hidden files in my phone, like anyone would even want to read my dairy haha...

At times I feel like i've danced close to the edge with partners and family. I'm not intolerant to anything you damn fools, Its not the least bit sus to you that I can only eat low cal foods?? I've sat through dinners and not eaten a thing cus of 'stomach aches' or because the menu wouldn't work with my "intolerances"

God i've spent whole holidays starving myself, partly because I'm terrified of being big and being devalued because of my size and half because I have to keep up my lies about intolerances and allergies, and now I'm alone again and currently yo-yoing between binging and starving, Im not good at making friends, or keeping them, mostly I want people to come to me ATM because I've spent the last 5-6 years going to everyone else, I'm tired of being the only one to put in the effort.

Look at me, even here I censor myself so much, like anyone who knows me would find this account, or be able to identify me, I'm so paranoid, and I have no need to be really.

[shoiboi]

Where are all my adult anas?

It's a different world stepping into Eds shoes again half way through life.

I don't have to worry about my parents getting mad at me

I don't have to worry about my school teachers getting mad at me

I don't have the typical teenage drama that spurred this mentality shift

I remember Ed being a call a shout for help just to be seen and cared for as a teenager. But now no one sees me, I have no watchful eyes on me. No one whispering under their breath, no parents staring at me across the dinner table as I play with a half eaten plate, no boy trouble or pubescent drama fueled by hormonal rage and indifference. I'm not doing this to impress the boy I like or try to fit in with the popular kids.

I am invisible

Except from myself.

I'm in a strange state of visible translucency. I tell people I'm fasting and they believe me, I tell people I'm too tired to come meet them for dinner they believe me.

Fuck, even my live out partner whose been here for the last 3 days who I have said the words 4norexi4 to and who has watched me consume nothing but tea for 3 days doesn't question my choices.

How different a world it is when you're seen but not seen. I am validated but I remain a shadow.

[shoiboi]

[shoiboi]

I HAVE 36 FOLLOWERS????

another thinspo dump bc y'all eat that shit up, thinspo, mainly legspo edition+

[shoiboi]

pls.

[shoiboi]

Hard to get rid of ‘coffee & cigarette’ mouth when all you consume is coffee and cigarettes 😒

[shoiboi]

I want to be so skinny that people feel so guilty for eating my food that they STOP EATING MY FOOD 🛑

[shoiboi]

People would say I wasn’t fat before, maybe just chubby or curvy, yet when I lost half my weight in a year that was fine, not even fine, vit was ‘fantastic!’ 😒 so I was fat then.