#thinking those were what would protect them from falling into temptation

[the-far-bright-center]

#people forget that the jedi failed for a reason#and that reason was that they decentered genuine human connection and empathy from their work#it’s not that they didn’t have the capacity for it#just that it’s expression was demonized and automatically assumed to be an inappropriate attachment#obi wan literally can’t say i love you until he’s actively trying to murder his brother#anakin is so terrified of losing access to the only open and honest love he has he Does a Few Murders#this was not a healthy organization folks (via @jew-flexive)

I think there’s something rather strange going on with all the folks who insist that the Jedi Order in the PT was right and didn’t forbid love and Anakin should just have followed their teachings when the whole point of the prequels is that they are prequels. They come before the OT, and the OT proves the Jedi wrong. They literally do not make sense if they don’t do that.

Luke, in the original trilogy, gains his ultimate triumph, his ultimate victory, because he loved in defiance of the teachings of the old Order. He quite literally had the ghosts of the past telling him, explicitly and without ambiguity, that he has to put his love for his father aside and kill him, as is the duty of a Jedi. Luke has the weight of millennia of teachings weighing down on his shoulders, telling him they knew and know better than a young, inexperienced man barely out of his teenager years. That he should follow their teachings or be destroyed. That is an immense weight to carry, and many people would and explicitly have given in to it in-universe. What are your feelings and ideals in the face of such immense legacy, after all?

But Luke doesn’t give in.

He doesn’t bend.

He says “I may be young, and I may be new, but I believe to my heart and soul that love matters more than this legacy. Matters more than your teachings.” And he says this to the ghosts of his mentors. That is such a powerful moment and one I can’t believe George Lucas didn’t create deliberately for even a second. This young man, being told he has to kill or die trying for a system that is dead or dying itself, that couldn’t survive itself, and refusing to do so. He is the living refusing to continue the violence of a dead generation. He is the young man refusing the draft into a war the old generation started, saying “peace and love matters more than you being right.” He is the embodiment of breaking the cycle.

And the movies vindicate him.

The main villain vindicates him with his last dying breath.

Darth Vader, dying, says “You were right.” and admits he and his were wrong. The main antagonist, Luke’s nemesis, in the face of his son’s immense, defiant love, gives way and does the impossible: he comes back to the light and dies a Jedi. The very thing the old Order says was impossible.

They were wrong. They have to be. The narrative demands it, the movies don’t make sense without it.

The solution was never to continue the cycle of the old Order, or Luke would have failed there, would have failed when he said “I am a Jedi, like my father before me.” And claimed that defiant, deviant, condemned definition of being a Jedi over the one presented to him by the Grandmaster of the old Order. If the old Order was right, Luke would have to be wrong. Be wrong about love, be wrong about laying down the sword, be wrong about refusing to fight. He would have to be wrong.

But the old Order is dead, explicitly killed by a monster, in some part, of their own making. It’s members only existing as bones in the ground or ghosts speaking from beyond the grave. They did not deserve it, it should not have been inflicted on them, but the narrative is clear on this: “The old way is dead, and was dying for a long time before that. Long live the new.”

Luke is that new. Luke is the breaking of the cycle, the reforging of swords into ploughs, the extended hand. Luke says “I don’t care how much I was hurt, I refuse to hurt you back, and you don’t need to hurt me either.”

“We can end this together and choose love instead.”

And Darth Vader, killer of the Jedi, End of the Order, lays down his arms as well, and reaches back as Anakin, saying “You were right.”

It wasn’t Obi-Wan, Yoda, Mace, Qui-Gon, or even Ahsoka who achieved the ultimate victory in the end, following the tenants of the old Order. It was Luke. Young, inexperienced Luke, who saw that the age of legacy handed to him was only history, that the sword handed to him as his life was only a tool, and that the decrees of the dead were only advice. And he took it all, said “thank you for your experience, but I’ve got it from here,” and laid it all down to instead extend an open hand towards his enemy.

And his victory, his ultimate triumph, his vindication, was that he was proven right when his enemy reached back and became just another person. Just another person, just like him.

The Jedi did not deserve what happened to them, and they did not deserve to die. But the story is clear on this: the Jedi of old were wrong, and the Jedi of new, the Last Jedi, was right. No sword or death will ever end the rule of the sword or end the bloodshed. But love?

Love can ignite the stars.

[baiwu-jinji]

I'm so very late to the party but finally finished listening to TGCF audio drama season 1, love how intense the last two episodes are :3 Here are some incoherent thoughts about some of the episodes I haven't talked about:

Episode 12: It occurred to me when I'm listening to this episode that the ghosts of Ghost City are always so lively and bubbly, always laughing and flirting and teasing, when most of them must've had a tragic life story with unresolved misfortunes that caused them to turn into ghosts in the first place. Their high spirits feels incongruous with their tragic past, but maybe it's because they're happier as ghosts than as humans?

There's a ghost called 红粉骷髅 (literally "skeleton of beautiful woman") in this episode that finds afterlife much more liberating and satisfying than life itself, as she recites the following poem when she's dancing: "I danced for others in life, nobody buried my bones when I died; I sing for myself after death, my beauty moves the netherworld."

(The name 红粉骷髅 actually comes from a Buddhist story where the Bodhisattva Guanyin turns into a beautiful woman to make love to men but would suddenly turn into a skeleton in the process, scaring the men into realising that the most alluring beauty in the world is but ashes and bones and ghastly in death, and that they shouldn't give in to temptations.)

Episode 13: Hua Cheng tells Xie Lian that he doesn't look at the wishes of his believers and just throws them away because he doesn't care about being worshipped. This just shows the difference between Hua Cheng and Jun Wu: although they both desire power, Hua Cheng only wants power in himself and over his own fate, while Jun Wu wants power over others. The conversation between HC and XL is as follows:

HC: It's better to help yourself than ask the help of others. If you want to climb out of the abyss, what use is it to look to others? Others won't come to save you every time.

XL: That's why you need gods.

HC: But if everyone counts on the god, what about the god? Wouldn't the god get tired?

XL: But you must have many believers. If you turn a blind eye to their prayers, won't they consider you to be ineffectual?

HC: I didn't ask them to worship me, they kneeled before me without my permission. Besides, only those who happen to have their wishes granted would dare to talk about it - those who don't wouldn't dare to complain.

Episode 17: Xie Lian tells Lang Qianqiu that he named his sword technique which he uses to break up a clash by diverting all the harm to himself "wuming" (meaning "nameless") - a fitting name because the technique is about the negation of the self, and sacrificing oneself to endure it all. "Wuming" is also the name Hua Cheng took when he followed Xie Lian after the fall of Xianle and eventually sacrificed himself to protect Xie Lian.

Episode 18: When Xie Lian worries that telling Lang Qianqiu the truth would make Lang Qianqiu question everything XL taught him and cease to be the courageous and honourable person that he is, Hua Cheng asks XL to trust in LQQ's innate moral strength. I like what HC said to XL about LQQ:

"If you value him so much, then why can't you trust him? Trust that since he's the one you chose, he won't lose himself in hatred and will eventually do what he should do, even though he once wanted to destroy the whole world out of hate."

HC is asking XL to have faith in LQQ the same way that HC has always had faith in XL.

There's also something I wonder about the situation between Xie Lian and Lang Qianqiu. LQQ's parents were murdered by the resentful ghosts of the people of Xianle, and XL took the blame for the Gilded Banquet massacre because he didn't want LQQ to think that he tried to save those resentful ghosts in vain, that LQQ's good will towards the resentful ghosts was met with hatred and revenge. But has it occurred to XL that his own supposed "betrayal" would've hurt LQQ equally much? Would LQQ really feel better if instead of the resentful ghosts, it's his teacher whom he admired and respected so much that had betrayed him?

[oliversrarebooks]

The Rare Bookseller Part 20: Alexander's Temptation

Masterlist

September 1925

TW: Captivity, mind control

They stared at each other from across the room. Lord Alexander really didn't look any different from when he'd been a patron, and for a moment Oliver felt like he was back in his bookstore, like none of this had ever happened. But the moment passed, and everything was different -- the piercing blue eyes, the fact that he never showed his teeth when he smiled, his extensive knowledge of books that seemed too much for someone so young.

Lord Alexander was stunned, his eyes flickering over Oliver as though memorizing the sight. "Is that really you, Oliver? How did you end up here?"

He swallowed hard. "I was taken from my shop, sir."

"It seems you didn't heed my warning," said Lord Alexander with a sigh.

Oliver fought down a spike of panic. He'd already disappointed Lord Alexander. "I apologize deeply, sir, I --"

"No, no, you hardly need to apologize to me. I should have -- no matter. I didn't want to see your mind destroyed in this awful place." 

Oliver's heart clenched, that a vampire could actually care. Maybe Lord Alexander really would treat him fairly.

He stepped closer to Oliver, and Oliver could feel his vampiric aura, something he hadn't noticed before the day of the warning. It made him feel serene. Secure. As though all he needed to do was serve Lord Alexander and everything would be all right. Had it always been like this?

"I don't believe my mind has been destroyed, sir," he said. "I still retain extensive knowledge of rare and antique books, which I would be deeply pleased to use in your service."

"Is that so?" The look Lord Alexander regarded him with wasn't kind, exactly. Intrigued, perhaps. "Do you recall the last book you procured for me?"

"Yes, sir, it was The Will of the Constellations, written in 1814 by an anonymous author believed to be the same reclusive German prophet and fortuneteller who penned On Planetary and Spiritual Motion," Oliver said, eager to prove his worth. "As you know, I have a contact in New York who has a special interest in elusive books of so-called prophecy."

"I see," said Lord Alexander. "I'm glad of it. What modifications have they made to you?"

"Miss Lily has mesmerized me to be obedient, docile, and have a quiet mind, sir."

Lord Alexander smiled, and Oliver felt his heart soar. "She's done an excellent job of it, then. You make an ideal thrall. It suits you more than I would have expected. Perhaps a little too well."

Oliver felt that he could collapse under the sheer bliss of the praise. "Thank you very much, sir, I want nothing more than to be a suitable thrall."

He unexpectedly hooked a finger under Oliver's throat, and Oliver found himself looking deep into those blue eyes, immediately lost. He could see stars and planets in them, or perhaps the ocean, falling deeper and deeper. Nothing else in the world mattered. He would do anything to stay here, to continue to drown himself in subservient pleasure. "Sir... please..." The words were tumbling from his mouth without control. 

"If I were to purchase you..." he said, his voice low. "I would do my best to protect you and give you a good life. But we wouldn't be equals any more, Oliver. I would have to claim you. You would be compelled to serve my needs."

He shivered. Lord Alexander's voice was incredible to listen to, capturing Oliver so easily in his sway. "Yes, sir, I wish to be of use to you, if you would buy me, please."

"You're quite the thrall." Lord Alexander's smile bared his fangs. "I came here planning to turn down Lily... but you're making yourself difficult to resist."

There was a deep hunger in Lord Alexander's eyes, and Oliver felt an equally deep craving, the same one he'd felt when Miss Lily had demonstrated what it was like to be preyed upon. Lord Alexander's obvious interest was sinking him into a euphoric trance, bending his mind to think of nothing but the vampire lord's need. "Please, sir, you desire to drink," he said, tilting his head and exposing as much of his tender neck as possible, aching for the feel of Lord Alexander's fangs. "I must offer my blood to you, sir. Please feed from me, please drink deep."

He heard Lord Alexander swallow. "It's been months since I've had a fresh human... if you had any idea how good you smell..."

"Please, sir, if you would take delight from my blood, please drink from me. It's all for you, every drop is for you, sir," he said, practically begging.

Lord Alexander was so close, and the anticipation of the bite was making Oliver tremble, as though his every hope and dream would be fulfilled if only he would feed.

"Ahem," Miss Lily cleared her throat loudly.

Lord Alexander stood up straight and released Oliver's chin. "As enticing as you are, I can hardly  feed from the merchandise before you've been properly purchased."

Oliver's bliss and peace turned to ash with the sudden loss of Lord Alexander's touch. "Sir, I apologize if this is impertinent of me, but I wish very much to be worthy of your ownership."

"You're a fetching thrall, Oliver, no doubt about that," he said, glaring at Miss Lily. "But unfortunately for us both, I shouldn't."

"Of course you should!" Miss Lily protested. "It's beyond obvious that he's perfect for you."

"And that's the problem!" Alexander was clearly exasperated. "You know very well what could happen."

"This isn't about your last thrall, is it? This is about what happened to Fitz."

Alexander scowled and looked at the floor.

"You can't martyr yourself forever over that, you know."

"That's really not your place to say. And I have no intention of making it forever."

"It will be if you don't snap yourself out of that malaise. You deserve a thrall that brings you joy. You can't exist in fear for eternity. And you know very well that Fitz would agree."

"Fine, Lily, fine," he said, defeated. "I'll consider it. I will. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to return to the excruciating horrors of mingling."

Lord Alexander slipped out of the room, and Oliver felt as though he might die on the spot. The remaining sliver of his past self was mortified at having begged so desperately for a vampire -- a former patron of his shop! -- to drink from him, while his hypnotized mind was devastated at the idea that he might have fallen short of pleasing him.

He knew two things for sure now: Unless he were putting on a show for Miss Lily, Lord Alexander had no intentions whatsoever of releasing Oliver if he were bought; and that the ensorcelled part of his mind was taken with him anyway. He didn't know quite yet what to make of all the discussion of Lord Alexander's past and what he was so concerned about...

"Oh, well done, Oliver, well done indeed," said Miss Lily, breathing a sigh of relief. "I was worried for a moment, but that went far beyond my hopes."

"It did, sir?" said Oliver, confused. "But he didn't agree to buy me."

"This is an auction, dear. Many vampires aren't simply going to announce their intent to buy, lest it drive the price up. And Alexander is the sort to play his cards close to his chest. Which is all the more reason that I was surprised with how nakedly desirous he was of you."

"Truly, sir?"

"I saw how he stared at you. I suppose you were too far mesmerized to really appreciate it, though," said Miss Lily. "The aura in the room was intense enough that I thought I was about to fall to my knees and pledge fealty to Alexander."

"I hope he buys me, sir," said Oliver softly.

If he were bought by Lord Alexander, would he spend his life locked in that rapturous state of trance forever, like the lotus eaters of mythology? He feared he had already grown addicted, longing to have Lord Alexander return, and even his rational mind was acknowledging that it would hardly be the worst fate he could meet here. Far preferable to Lady Jessica, anyway.

"I hope so, too. His pockets are deep. The more he covets you, the bigger the payday for me," she said, with avarice in her eyes. "And entirely apart from that, we've known each other forever, and I know a new thrall would make him much more agreeable. And it'd be a good life for you. A winning situation all around.

"But enough of that. There are other wealthy patrons, and I can't have you spending the entirety of the showcase pining over Alexander. Quiet yourself, dear, be soft and quiet and drowsy, and let that encounter rest within you, out of mind for now."

"Yes, sir," he said, and his thoughts blurred, but he still couldn't quite forget the image of Lord Alexander's fangs.

Part Nineteen >> Masterlist >> Part Twenty-One

Thanks for reading this story of a reluctant vampire.

Please let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list!

@d-cs @latenightcupsofcoffee @thecyrulik @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @wanderinggoblin @whumpyourdamnpears @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are @pressedpenn @pigeonwhumps @amusedmuralist @snakebites-and-ink @sl33py-pup @diamond-blade-blog @ivycloak @ladyjaye13 @irregular-book

[religious-extremist]

I really don't want to be mean, but I'm a converted Catholic and the people around me don't really follow it and you seem to be holy so I wanted to say that there's this thing that has been bothering me a lot about Christianity. In Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot, who's called a righteous man, offers up his daughters to be raped "Please, my brethren, do not do so wickedly! See now, I have two daughters who have not known a man; please, let me bring them out to you, and you may do to them as you wish; only do nothing to these men, since this is the reason they have come under the shadow of my roof" And it's just always bothered me, since I read this story because, y'know, he's a good person and even though he's trying to save angels, but he's basically willing to sacrifice his daughters to be gangraped. I checked through a few versions to make sure I read that There are other weird things like in Timothy there's a thing about women being saved through childbirth and I don't know. Maybe I'm just not used to this bible stuff, but I don't really want children and thinking I'll go to hell if I choose not to, because I don't think I'm infertile, scares me

I know this is a really weird question to just spring on you, but I've been questioning things and it scares me. I took you randomly showing up on my dash as a sign or something. Praying to believe and trying to stay positive

You can read this article written by John Sanidopoulos, an Orthodox layman who studied at a few seminaries: Why Is Lot Called “Righteous” If He Offered His Daughters To Be Raped? LINK

Lot wasn’t perfect, but he knew God and that’s what made him righteous. It seems he already knew that his guests were angels, and therefore would be able to protect his family if they so wished; that’s why when the Sodomites rushed in, they were blinded by the angels. That was going to happen either way, the blinding, just like God didn’t allow Abraham to slay Isaac, but still, Lot’s love for God was tested.

The topic of childbirth and almsgiving, the latter which you sent in a second anon, is something that should be discussed with an Orthodox spiritual father. If you live in North America, I recommend visiting an Orthodox monastery and talking to a priest if you want the best answer possible. You can also write a letter to an Orthodox priest at a monastery, or go to a local Orthodox Church and speak to a priest there. There is a path for women who don’t want to have a family. You can PM me if you want me to give you more information about it.

It’s good to have this zeal and fear in your heart, but know that this is also a test of faith. God is merciful and wise above all.

I forgot which saint said it, maybe St. John Climacus, but he said that Christians walk a narrow path with the danger of falling down either side. The demonic attacks come from both the left and the right. Demons from the left attack us with the temptation to sin, to be lazy, to be careless, to be greedy. From the right comes the temptation to quickly acquire virtues like asceticism, almsgiving, to be righteous… but you’ll see that those seemingly good virtues are trickeries that can quickly make you fall into the sin of pride, pride in your ability to fast, give alms, and criticism of other seemingly less righteous people. That is the trick of the devil. That is why it is said: narrow is the way that leads to eternal life.

Nor do they put new wine into old wineskins, or else the wineskins break, the wine is spilled, and the wineskins are ruined. But they put new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.

You are new wine, the virtues of almsgiving and asceticism are old wineskins. If you try immediately to pour yourself into the virtues, you will likely just break and spill and fumble everything. You have to put new wine into new wineskins, so everything in the spiritual life must be done with great care.

Most importantly, you need a spiritual guide, that is, a spiritual father. I am Orthodox so I would recommend an Orthodox guide, although some people will tell you that it is all the same. In my experience, having been on both sides, there are many differences in the life of prayer and relationship with God. Let that be your decision.

And no one, having drunk old wine, immediately desires new; for he says, ‘The old is better.’

[marigoldsinamber]

The Devils on the Pew - Part 1

Summary:

Ned Flanders is a devil, a demon, Satan, whatever you want to call him. And his gorgeous wife is too.

They moved to Springfield with the idea of causing some trouble, earning a few souls, and having a little fun before they moved on. Their personas are perfect and their lives are comfortable but when they come up with an idea to seduce the local reverend and his wife, they don't expect to get into so much trouble. Or to actually grow this attached.

Ships: Devil!Ned Flanders/Reverend Lovejoy, Devil!Ned Flanders/Devil!Maude Flanders, Devil!Maude Flanders/Helen Lovejoy

Content Warnings: I suppose OOC for canon-Flanders but not for demon-Flanders.

Word Count: 3.3k

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

When a devil wanted to choose a town to live in for a couple of years, there were a few things they considered. Sometimes, they looked at the folk who lived there and decided they were wicked or greedy enough to fall prey to a demon’s bargain. Occasionally, they chose a place filled with idiots who’d never notice. Hell, sometimes they’d throw a dart at a map and get lucky enough to find a place with both.

And that was exactly what had happened when the devil found his way to Springfield with his beautiful wife right behind him.

Maude draped herself over his shoulders, sweet thing that she was, and gently kissed the corner of his mouth. Her tail swished through the air lazily as she smiled. “Bored, honey?”

“Undeniably,” he said with a dramatic sigh. “Why, it feels like years since I got somebody to sign a contract.”

“It was three days ago,” she teased. “Still, if you’re bored, we can find something fun. Do you want to drive somebody crazy again by following them around and singing? That makes so many turn murderous.”

She sounded so eager that he couldn’t help but laugh.

He’d chosen the right devil to stick by his side. The perfect combination of sweetness and danger, perfectly hidden beneath her acting skills. Why, if he didn’t know better, even he would think of her as a perfect suburban wife.

“Or you could always call the reverend again. Tell him you got a paper cut on your tongue and you think God’s punishing you.”

“Even that’s grown tiresome now I’m afraid. He’s started just giving me the most random verses for any problem.”

But it was tempting. This town gave him more entertainment than he’d bargained for with just about every fool you could imagine. A small nudge and they all fell into various sins without even a second thought. Even the sweetest of children hid dark desires and he’d really never felt more at home.

Unfortunately, even that wasn’t enough to keep him excited. He got awfully, maniacally bored with small temptations. Sometimes he just wanted to devour souls and wreak havoc upon the land.

There were footsteps on the landing and he hurried to hide his horns and goat legs as the children scampered around the corner. They weren’t demons. Maude had thought it would help their image to have a pair and honestly, he’d grown quite attached to the skittish boys.

“Daddy! Daddy! They’re throwing rocks at the windows again!”

He gritted his teeth, eyes narrowing as he heard the glass crack from the other side of the house. How he wanted to burn them all but punishing or, heavens forbid, slaughtering a few children would make them better behaved as a whole. The worse the kids were, the more everybody in town suffered.

Why, just the other day, he’d seen a few teenagers stealing an entire slushie machine from the convenience store.

He knelt down beside Rod and Todd and pulled them into a reassuring hug. “Don’t you worry about those boys, alright? I know they seem scary and intimidating now but remember, God will always protect us. You just have to have faith.”

They nodded their heads and buried their faces into his sweater before deciding by themselves to read a few pages of their bible. They hopped up to go find one and Ned wondered if maybe he’d made a slight mistake with how Christian he’d raised them. Certainly seemed more ironic with each passing day.

Maude smiled at him as he stood. “They’re so sweet.”

“Aren’t they?”

“I think we did a good job,” she said. “By the way, I’m going to our book club a little later so do you want to drop them off with a sitter? I made some sugar-free, flour-free brownies and everybody’s going to have to eat some to be polite.”

Ned chuckled. “You’re crueler than the devil himself, you know that? I can watch the boys though, so we don’t need a sitter.”

She smiled and playfully bumped her hip against his. “I was thinking that while I’m with my friends, you can take the reverend on a few errands with you. Helen really wants him to get out more.”

Ned laughed and agreed. The benefits from being from Hell ranged from easily terrorizing his favourite humans all the way to lower taxes. And he did love tormenting the town’s pastor who seemed to be getting more and more exhausted of him by the day.

He pressed a sweet kiss to her cheek before he disappeared with a puff, arranging for a sitter who could come watch the kids. It was a shame they had to drive there but on a street with the incredibly observant Helen Lovejoy and the paranoid neighbour who lived close to them, they needed to take the long route. He didn’t blame said neighbour though. Anybody would be jumpy with that many stolen goods in their home.

His sweater felt a little scratchy that day when they left the kids with a young demon who had nothing better to do and a healthy fear of him. It was the best way to know nothing would happen to the boys.

No demon wanted to experience his anger if his children got hurt.

Maude knocked and they waited patiently outside the Lovejoy’s house, both noticing the open window with sheets tied together that led from Jessica’s room. They exchanged glances but no words until Helen opened the door, her smile decidedly fake.

“Hi-diddly-ho, Helen,” Ned greeted. “Maude told me this book of yours is a real tear-jerker so I brought you all some tissues.”

Maude wrapped her arms tightly around Helen’s waist, hugging the other woman in greeting before she held out the platter. “And I brought my favourite brownies! I tried something new with the recipe this time.”

Helen smiled though the excitement didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Sugar-free?”

“Of course.”

Ned leaned down to give Maude a kiss on the cheek. “Have a good day, dear. I’ll be back around dinner time to steal you again.”

“Thank you,” she smiled. “And good luck with everything. Are you sure you don’t want company or anything?”

“I’ll be fine-diddly-doo. You enjoy your book.”

Helen’s attention had been caught. She couldn’t resist digging for information, even if it turned out to be awfully boring. “Are you up to something fun today?”

“My mother’s coming into town so we want to get her a small gift,” Maude filled in. “Neddy wants to pick it out himself but you know, I always worry because he gets so flustered about this kind of thing.”

Ned chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “I just want to make sure I get the right thing.”

Helen’s fake smile gave way for a real one as she had an idea. “Well, why don’t you take Time with you? My mother’s always coming over so he has plenty of experience and it’s not like he’s doing anything important today. He’s just playing with his trains.”

“Are you sure he wouldn’t mind? I’ve got to admit, I wouldn’t mind the help.”

“Of course, he won’t mind. Why don’t you come in while I fetch him?”

Maude smiled at him as she went to put her brownies down in the kitchen, giving him a small peck on the lips as she went past. The other guests hadn’t arrived yet. Ned had wanted to get there as early as was polite to make sure Helen helped them out.

If the reverend wasn’t able to go though, Ned had been eyeing out the mayor of the neighbouring town for a deal. Or if that fell through, Mr. Burns was always an easy target.

He could hear a faint argument and he stepped ever-so-slightly closer to listen without anybody noticing. Maude waved at him from the kitchen and he waved back, curious.

“Helen, we agreed that this would be my uninterrupted time with my trains.”

“But I already promised Ned you’d be willing to help and it would be great for you to get out for a while. What if the other ladies start feeling jealous that my husband is here? Next thing you know, Marge brings that awful Homer Simpson over.”

“It’s my house. I live here.”

“Do you have to be so difficult?”

“How am I meant to know what to buy his mother-in-law?”

“Get her the same thing you’d get for my mother.”

“Like poison?”

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

Ned chuckled and strolled back to the front entrance when Helen reappeared with a promise that her husband would be out soon. It didn’t take long for him to drag his way up the stairs with an expression on his face that suggested he might be praying for salvation. It was too bad that Ned’s existence blocked off a good amount of divinity.

“Howdidly doodily Reverend,” he greeted despite the glare it earned him. “It’s such a beautiful day, don’t you think? Just filled to the brim with opportunity.”

“Truly.”

Ned’s smile was blinding as he bid goodbye to the two ladies. He kept up a stream of near endless and useless chatter the entire time he drove. Reverend Lovejoy barely responded to him but Ned made sure to intersperse enough questions to ensure the man couldn’t tune him out entirely.

Ned already knew what he wanted as ‘gift’ but he made sure to walk around the store and contemplated just about everything before he came to the selection of Bibles and hummed in appreciation.

He picked out two near identical ones with close prices and stared at them, contemplating which to buy with occasional muttered opinion.

“Ned, I believe those bibles are exactly the same,” Reverend Lovejoy told him after about two minutes passed.

“There’s a two-cent difference in the prices though,” Ned said and pointed to the sign. “There must be something missing from the cheapest one. What if I buy it for my mother-in-law and it’s missing two cents of content. I don’t think I’d forgive myself.”

“Buy her the more expensive one then.”

“But what if they haven’t taken anything out of this one and have instead added stuff to it instead?” Ned asked, sure to sound panicked. “What if they added something to the text.”

Reverend Lovejoy stared at him blandly. “I sincerely doubt that would have happened.”

“The devil works in all ways,” Ned said. “I don’t know if I can take that risk. Could you read this one and tell me if there’s anything untoward in it before I buy it?”

“You want me to read through the entire bible right now? In the store?”

“Well, the way I figure it, if anybody’s going to know if there’s something hidden it the pages, it’ll probably be you.”

“You can also get her both and then if she finds something strange or missing from one, you just replace it.”

Ned tapped on his chin as though thinking about it. “That sounds like a mighty fine idea but I don’t know if I want a possibly butchered bible in my house at all. God has been a little more sharp-eyed as of late, especially after we flicked to the wrong channel the other day. You remember it right?”

“You did call about it.”

“I wonder if she read through the last bible I got her or if she only read part of it…”

“Have you ever considered getting her a different gift?”

Ned took his time looking around the shop. There wasn’t really anything else fun – just a few incorrect psalms etched into mugs and dishtowels. He��d love to get one for Maude’s mother but he didn’t know her favourite, he told the reverend.

Honestly, one day he should buy something like this for Maude’s mother as a joke. He could imagine how she’d laugh at the idea.

“Oh, this one is almost in the same shade of blue as the one you used last week,” Ned said, eagerly picking up a third. “But it’s a whole dollar more. Boy for that price, I’d be expecting a new verse toward the back, wouldn’t you?”

“Sure.”

“Which bible do you use for sermons?”

“I… can’t remember.”

They could always stop by the library and pick it up but Ned felt that would be a little too cruel for now. Instead, he put all three back and nodded his head. “We should go look at a few other stores to make sure we’re not being ripped off.”

“I really don’t think that’s necessary.”

“No, no, you have to be careful. No sense in wasting money.”

Meanwhile, Maude gasped politely behind her hand after Luann finished her rant about how she hadn’t finished the book because of her husband’s childish tantrums. It sounded as though getting remarried had ruined their relationship exactly like it had the first time. She couldn’t help but feel bad for that poor child of theirs.

“I thought things would be different this time but he’s just as much of a loser now,” Luann complained. “It’s so frustrating. I just want to strangle him sometimes.”

“Men never learn,” Marge said sympathetically and put a hand on her shoulder. “I can’t begin to count how many times I ask Homer to do things nicely and he ends up completely forgetting. He can’t even remember my birthday.”

“Not all men are like that,” Maude defended. “Ned is great about those things.”

Bernice nodded in agreement. “Julius too. The biggest thing we fight over is him wearing his doctor’s coat out all the time.”

“They also fight about her day drinking,” Helen whispered, leaning in close so only Maude could hear her.

Maude giggled. She’d wanted to be friends with Helen from the day they arrived in Springfield and she couldn’t help but be proud of the accomplishment. The woman had more power over the people in this town than most imagined. The fear of getting into Springfield’s gossip mill kept many on her side.

Maude took advantage of that. Neddy liked to torment through pestering and an ever-happy grin but Maude preferred a subtler approach. Nobody ever suspected she might be the way Helen found out so many private details.

After all, how could a regular person know what went on in their homes?

“Maybe we should have some of the baked goods?” she recommended to Helen. “I think everybody could use a bite of something sweet to help settle the nerves before we talk about the book.”

“Of course,” Helen said. “I cannot wait to taste those brownies.”

Such a lie. One day, Maude would make actual brownies and they’d all be hilariously surprised.

Helen grumbled under her breath when they entered the kitchen and immediately began snatching various catalogues off the counters. She shoved them into an overflowing drawer nearby with great effort. “I’m going to burn all of this nonsense one day,” she complained. “I keep telling Tim to leave his train stuff in the basement but he never listens.”

“It’s sweet he has a hobby though,” Maude mentioned and leaned against the table. “Neddy doesn’t really have anything like that aside from reading the bible.”

Maybe they should choose a more obvious hobby. She enjoyed having the reputation of being the bland, boring family in town, but eventually somebody might wonder what they do during the day and tormenting townsfolk never sounded good on record.

She did want to cause some ripples soon. Maybe she would fake her own death? If it wasn’t for the kids, she’d eagerly do it in a second. Imagine…

“At least reading the bible doesn’t send your electricity bill through the roof,” Helen griped.

“It can when Ned gets to a really exciting part of it and he just can’t stop turning the pages. Once, he stayed up the whole night without even realising.”

She should read the bible again to keep up her charade. She had no idea how Ned had managed to remember all those verses and passages when the most he did was flip through the pages in between signing deals and cashing in on them.

Helen sighed and took out a few large plates to put things out on. “It’s rather funny, don’t you think? We complain all the time about our husbands but it could be far worse. I can’t imagine living a life like Marge’s.”

Maude shuddered dramatically. “I feel so sorry for her.”

Although years of living alongside the Simpsons had helped her realise Homer wasn’t all bad, she still didn’t like the man much. His children were menaces also and she hated inviting the family over even when Ned asked her to.

“And Luann’s husband somehow managed to be even worse. I think he must have stalked her the entire time they were divorced.”

“That’s very sad,” Maude said though she didn’t mean it in a pitying way. “I feel so sorry for their kid. He probably needs far more attention than they give him.”

Helen scoffed and rolled her eyes. “It’s pathetic really. I don’t think Luann’s mentioned him once today.”

Maude did find it hypocritical for Helen to lecture anybody about not paying attention to their kids when her own daughter was far worse than any of the town’s hoodlums. Jessica wasn’t a bad child deep down but Maude had never gotten the opportunity to properly speak to the poor thing. She wasn’t often home or at events with her family.

Helen hadn’t mentioned her daughter either though she did leave one brownie in the tin, likely for either Jessica or Tim. Maude winced. She didn’t want to eat the things herself.

“He has a crush on Marge’s girl, Lisa,” Maude offered, providing enough gossip for Helen to be happy. “But from what Todd saw, I think she’s more interested in one of those crass boys who terrorise everybody.”

“Oh really?” Helen asked. “Gets her taste in men from her mother.”

“Obviously.”

Maude brought the cupcakes from Bernice and Helen carried out the brownies when she noticed the light in the basement had been left on. She mentioned it to Helen who quickly hurried down the stairs to turn it off, muttering the whole way.

Maude peered down curiously, only getting a brief glimpse of the massive collection of model trains before everything plunged into darkness.

“His collection has grown since I last saw it,” she commented to Helen. “It’s almost impressive.”

Helen rolled her eyes. “Of course, it has. It’s the real love of his life, don’t you know? The other day, I saw a receipt for flowers and I got so happy, only to find out they were fake miniatures for the grass next to the train. We haven’t been on a date in forever but he’s there every day.”

She was keeping her voice down to make sure nobody else heard. A lot of her superiority came from the idea of her life being better than the other woman she surrounded herself with. Maude had a strong suspicion she was the only one who knew about Helen’s true feelings surrounding her marriage.

And the more she thought of it, the more of an opportunity she saw.

“Maybe we should go on a double date,” Maude said. “We can do something we’ve never done before like go on a camping trip or a hike. Wouldn’t that be lovely?”

Helen’s eyes brightened at the promise. “Oh, I don’t camp but I do know where this lovely little log cabin is we can rent. It would be amazing! You could even bring the boys if you wanted to.”

“They’ll be so excited! They’ve been getting much better with nature lately.”

Maude watched Helen carefully for the rest of the day, appreciating how her expressions stayed neutral even when she was irritated or smug. She couldn’t even deny that Helen was quite pretty when you looked past the judgmental sneer.

When Ned picked her up, she had a plan in mind.

Tim looked awfully unimpressed as he marched back inside his house, rubbing his temples as though a headache had formed over the day. Three bibles sat on the front seat and she laughed and she put them in the back after they’d driven away. Ned’s day had been a stunning success it would seem and she was mulling over offering Luann a deal.

“I have a brilliant idea,” she cooed as they made their way home. “I thought about it while I was talking to Helen.”

Ned raised an eyebrow at her; the very edges of his horns were beginning to poke through and she laughed, pushing them back down. It usually meant he was using some of his more demonic forces to watch the road while paying attention to her.

“You know I love your ideas,” he said.

“The Lovejoys have been going through a rough patch in their marriage,” Helen said. “And I think we could help them out in a more… physically fun way.”

Ned chuckled almost demonically. She wouldn’t even run a contract by him so this must be something far more interesting. “And how will we do that?”

“I just think they could use another avenue to release their frustrations.”

He inclined his head to her. “Well, that does sound like the best diddly idea I’ve heard all day. So neighborly of you and I know your devilish temptations are strong enough to charm just about any man.”

Maude preened beneath the praise. She knew she had talent when it came to drawing men’s eyes to her but no, she had no interest in seducing the Reverend. He’d never been that interesting to her. Not like Helen was.

“I’m thinking more about his wife.”

“You want to seduce Helen Lovejoy?”

“I want to try,” Maude said. “I like her Neddy and I think it would be great fun. Her soul would practically be mine after that. She’d have to sign a contract rather than let it get out.”

He chuckled. “Now, you don’t have to lie and say it’s for a contract. If we get one out of this, all the better but you know you’re allowed to have your fun without stealing any souls.”

“And I want you to seduce her husband.”

There, Ned hesitated. He tilted the car’s mirror down to look at himself, wrinkled his nose and frowned. “I don’t know about that. Maybe if I’d chosen a better form but… not this one.”

Maude rolled her eyes. “Are you joking? You’ve taken your shirt off before, right? This form is delicious.”

“Maybe to those who like men but I don’t think the reverend of a church is going to let his gaze wander to me,” Ned said. “You, I think, might have a chance.”

Did she notice a hint of jealousy in his tone? Her attention hooked, she leaned forward to ask, “Do you find him attractive?”

Ned scoffed. “Obviously. Why do you think I bother him as much as I do.”

“Then why not try? If he’s not interested, you leave it to me and I’ll just swoop Helen right out from under him. Best case scenario, we end up with only one soul rather than two but I have some stories from Helen that suggest you might have a better chance than you think.”

He shrugged. “I suppose there’s no harm in it. We should try not to get our names too messy though. I don’t want to have to move towns.”

“I promise. I’m a very smart devil.”

Ned smiled proudly at her. “That you are and hey, I’ve always rather liked those collars he wears.”

~

This work was inspired by this absolutely stunning artwork:

[elahogn]

6 episodes of Good Omens 2 and a sleep later. I do have some thoughts.

This whole season is a further emphasis on selfishness, selflessness, and free will. More spoilers under the cut.

Over and over again, in both s1 and 2, the narration repeats that angels and demons are workers. They do their duty to keep Heaven and Hell going by either satisfying God's will or Satan's will. The angels never question why they do things. Those who questioned would "vaguely saunter downwards" like Crowley. The main quality to be an angel is not being selfless or selfish, but void of any self to exist at all. Any sign of a 'self' by questioning why they do certain thing would be deemed not fit for Heaven anymore. The opening scene of s2 with the 2 angels definitely leaned in the implication. Aziraphale was not questioning anything and purely stating the facts of God's plan. Crowley showed a sign of self by having significant pride in his work with the nebula and questioning God's plan, which started his vaguely downwards journey. In the bet about Job, Aziraphale did certain things that he believed would send him downwards but turned out didn't. Because, what Aziraphale did was showing trust, not questioning. He started to trust Crowley on not hurting children and animals and his ability to find a roundabout way out of situations. And he believed in God's plan. The execution was slightly altered, but God's plan was carried out till the end.

And now we have an angel who spent so much time on Earth and started doing goods for his own satisfaction and a demon, who, without any question, do most things for himself. At the start of s1, we still see Aziraphale and Crowley 'diligently' doing their duty, performing little miracles or temptations as per their job descriptions. By the end of s1, they started to act on their own freewill, like human, with motivation started from their want to keep the present as they liked. They have formed their own side on the foundation of this. Somewhere along the way of their journey on Earth, Aziraphale started doing miracles to satisfy himself, finding triumph in these actions, though he still thinks that's just his duty to be the good one. In s2, when they have their own side, Aziraphale still loves to brag about his miracles of good with Crowley even when he doesn't have to report his work to anyone anymore. And Crowley, doing most things for himself, always in his own way. Forming an allegiance with an angel, indulging in things that he likes like the Bentley, the clothes, the alcohol, the plants, and his angel with the little bookshop.

At the end of s1, they learn to act on their free will. And in s2, they slowly fall into selfishness. They glowed like a freaking beacon when they tried to hide Gabriel. They were not doing it for Gabriel. They were covering their own ass. Any point that the tone of the story picked up is when either of them are acting for each other or, for someone else's sake and learning to be selfless. Crowley did his threatening miracle to the wee lass in Edinburgh to not take her life; Aziraphale and his trickery act in West End and the little hand trick to keep Crowley out of trouble with the human and the demons, Crowley's threatening talk with Jim about Aziraphale, Crowley led the humans to safety through the crowd of demon and Aziraphale stood his ground to protect the the human even when that meant declaring war between Heaven and Hell. These were definitely not on their job descriptions but what they chose to do for the benefits of others.

Crowley was the one showing Aziraphale the way of selfishness and being indulged at the start. From the food, the drink, the theatre, and the earthly procession to Crowley's constant existence beside Aziraphale (rescuing me makes him rather happy). Crowley's way of selfishness always has a touch of free will (it's always there, and you can take it). In s2e6, the first time that Aziraphale made a conscious choice of being selfish, he wanted Crowley to come with him to Heaven. It was a result of manipulation from Metatron, from Heaven. It was not Aziraphale's free will. He was doing what Heaven wanted. And it angered Crowley. Which directly influenced his speech and action with Aziraphale. Instead of being open about his wants and needs with Aziraphale after the intervention with Maggie and Nina, he fell back into his way of self-preservation, and everything came out like an act of extreme selfish. The scene mirrored to their fight at the bandstand or running off together scene in s1. In each other's eyes, they were each undoing all of their growth together in the last couple of years!

Gabriel and Beelzebub chose their most selfish way out of the situation. In Crowley's view, him and Aziraphale are already out of the equation between Heaven and Hell, they should already have the authority to do whatever they want. They can go if they want to. But in Aziraphale's eye, Gabriel and Beelzebub could do it because they had the status, and if he wants something similar, he needs something similar. When him and Crowley are together, Heaven can't touch him (practically, I don't think Heaven has much interest in messing with him anymore for now) but he can't guarantee either Heaven or Hell would not go after Crowley (which partially true, Shax could just casually show up anywhere around them throughout the season). And him choosing the position in Heaven, or what he believed he chose himself, is the way he can protect Crowley, is him making his own plan for once (like what Nina told him during the fight with the demons). Him saying "I forgive you" to Crowley, not because Crowley was in need of a validation from the up, but because Aziraphale wanted to make clear of his openess to accept Crowley as he is to his side.

Aziraphale's little plan included a Crowley in it. By the time he stepped into the elevator, he didn't have a plan anymore. And as the credit rolls, the bastard of an angel smile was back on his lips and I so goddamn want to know what he came up with!!! At the same time, Crowley's intensity in his Bentley during the credit had the same energy with him driving to Tadfield in the flaming Bentley in s1 and who knows what he was up to!!!!!!

[minkufu]

Roles Reversed

A HC I was discussing about the twins that I wanted to share here because it’s a very fun scenario I think about a lot.

---------

“Do you think Siel would be similarly remorseless if the roles had been reversed (bc let's be real they were equally violent with each other) or?”

I do have a whole thought process on that actually.

Because I am of the opinion that portraying the twins as being exactly the same in every way is boring. I try to find an angle to go with to decide how they would behave in the same scenarios. One of the main themes I go with for them is that Bel is all about fun. He is impulsive, he likes his freedom, he kills for joy and pleasure and his own benefit. Rasiel on the other hand I see as more conforming, controlled, more familiar with imposed discipline. his violent behavior stems from his self importance and his vindictive nature. When he lashes out it's with a purpose.

So, I like to circle back to their demon and angel theme: Indulgence and retribution. Demons are about temptation and corruption, they are chaotic by nature and do what they do for the sake of self-gratification more than anything. Angels are idol like authority figures, they dole out punishment for those perceived as wicked and enforce the values they protect. And while I know all that is kind of convoluted for sake of a small headcanon, it helps me put the twins into an easier perspective to work with.

If you flip the roles and put Bel in the place of the one who was killed that day, Rasiel would not have the same reasons or the same reaction. Rasiel was not jealous of Bel, he looked down on him. Part of the joy Bel got out of killing Rasiel was the satisfaction of taking that power away away from him. He finally got to feel superior and now that feeling was absolute. But Bel ran because being a king was not the future he wanted, he was not satisfied with the strict life he lived and would have likely faced some heavy consequences for killing his brother if he stayed.

Rasiel would not have lashed out at Bel because of jealousy, he already knows he’s better. He lashes out because he hates that Bel is a nuisance, he’s in the way, and he’s a perceived hindrance to Siel’s succession. While I think Bel was more likely to make a fight physical, Siel was more likely to provoke one. Had Rasiel been the one to kill Bel you would get a completely different response. One I think would mostly be indifference. Bel fucked around and found out. The outcome was inevitable and deserved. However, Rasiel wants to be king more than anything. He doesn’t run away. He places all his worth and energy into the aspect of being royalty. It's the only thing he was born to be, and he wasn’t going to abandon that.

Unless his family was corrupt and resourceful enough to completely cover a scandal like that, Rasiel killing his brother would have made him a huge liability to his family, a dark stain on their reputation. While I don’t think he would have been outright jailed or killed with him being so young, he would definitely have faced some form of long-term consequence. Alongside being villified by his own family and the people of his country, all the responsibility and trust that had been put on him as their prince was broken. Nuisance or not, Bel had still been a prince, and killing anyone within the ruling monarchy was a gravely serious crime, even when it’s committed by one of their own, even if he’s a child. I think back to Fran’s comment about Bel being chased out of his country, and for Rasiel’s scenario I think that’s the more likely case.

So what does he feel when he thinks of Bel after the fact? He isn’t satisfied or proud, he’s angry. He lost everything he ever wanted because his stupid useless brother couldn’t just stay in line. Belphegor ruined everything. When he thinks back to their fight, all he feels is rage. Which falls into line with how I portray his “prince the ripper” state to be more bestial and vicious than Bels. He is not having fun.

But he NEEDS to be royalty. He doesn’t have any ambition or dreams beyond that because his future was set in stone neatly at his feet from the moment he was born. All he was ever raised to be was a prince. He doesn’t know how to be anything else.

I like the idea of him joining the Varia in place of Bel. Biding his time, dwelling on his grudges, and becoming stronger by directing all that building hatred onto his targets. Someday he will go back home and take his rightful place on the throne. He will be the king he deserves to be and no one is going to stand in his way ever again. The Varia are merely a necessary stepping stone to reach that goal. A mutually beneficial safe haven for him to exist in safety and secrecy. Providing him a conveniently cathartic outlet for his rage that allows him to hold onto some bit of sanity while in his exile.

Alternatively; his outcasted status suddenly makes him a far more appealing candidate to be a real funeral wreath instead of just a fake. Because now Byakuran has more leverage to keep him in line. He no longer has to just bank on Rasiel’s gratitude alone for helping him. The prince is no longer a wildcard with an abundance of resources and a monarchy at his back. Siel had everything. Now he has nothing. And Byakuran can get all of that back for him and more as long as he plays nice.

[nephies-creative-world]

Of The Many Lies and The One Truth Ch1

Summary:

Aziraphale has had to tell many lies over the millennia. It was the only way to keep him and Crowley safe. Five of the lies Aziraphale had had to tell over the Millennia and the one time he was free to tell the full truth.

__________________

First Lie: 4004 B.C., Just after the beginning. __________________

It was over. Eden was ruined. The humans fell to temptation, angered the Lord, and were gone. Banished.

It was over.

Satan had gotten what he wanted, doomed humanity to a life of pain and misery.

It was over. 

Aziraphale stood by himself in what once was heaven on earth, blanketed by a feeling he didn’t know or understand yet.

Crawley had already left, and with no Eve or Adam to talk to anymore either, Aziraphale couldn’t help but feel… 

He didn't know what it was that he felt. 

Now that there were no humans left in Eden, Aziraphale was in the middle of closing the gate in the eastern wall as he was tasked to do, feeling melancholic and wondering if he would be seeing Adam and Eve ever again.

While he hadn’t known them for long, not really, he had grown quite fond of the two. It was unfortunate that they had chosen to disobey the one order they had been given and to take a bite of the apple, but alas, it is what it is, no amount of lamenting and grieving could change the past.

Eve was pregnant when she left, and Aziraphale couldn’t help but worry for her. 

He had given them his sword with the hope that it would keep them safe while he couldn’t. 

He couldn’t help but wonder about that demon as well, his mind still hung on him and how familiar he had looked. That demon… Wasn’t he…?

He was still caught up in his thoughts when a bright light shone down upon him from above, and Aziraphale gasped, dropping the brick he had been holding.

“Aziraphale, Guardian of the Eastern Gate,” A disembodied yet familiar voice called.

“Yes, Lord?” Aziraphale replied meekly, his hand shielding his eyes from the bright light.

“Well done, Aziraphale, you’ve done well.” The voice praised.

“T- Thank you, Lord,” Aziraphale stammered, fidgeting with his sleeve, not used to being praised, and feeling guilty and concerned about a certain lost object being mentioned.

“Keep up the good work, Aziraphale,” 

“Yes, Lord,” Aziraphale mentally breathed a sigh of relief.

“Wait,” The voice suddenly said. “Where is the flaming sword I gave you?” The voice asked. “To protect the Eden?” It added, as if needed elaboration as to which sword it spoke of. 

Despite the fact that Angels didn’t sweat, having turned the glands for it on their assigned corporations off a long time ago, finding it gross and assigning it as something only humans and those who were damned should have to experience, Aziraphale found himself sweating, his heart, which is for all intents and purposes merely decorative, squeezed in his chest. 

Here it was, the question he had been fearing. 

The Fall he had been fearing.

“Sword? Right,” He twisted the fabric of his tunic nervously. "Um... Uh… Big, sharp, cutty thing.

Yes.” Aziraphale laughed nervously. “Uh… Oh, must have, uh… Must have put it down here somewhere.” He glanced off to his right as if the swords were somewhere around there. “Um… Forget my own head next."

The voice merely hummed before the light disappeared.

Aziraphale slid down until he knelt on the ground, trembling, his fingers dug in the sand. 

“Oh, dear…” He croaked, breathing a sigh of relief.

First Crawley and no the Almighty...

He groaned, hoping that the sword would never be brought up again. He didn’t think he could handle that level of anxiety ever again.

Probably discorporate on the spot from fretting alone, knowing how capable of a fretter he was, he would probably discorporate from the fretting before anyone even got to punishing him for foolishly giving the gift the Lord had gifted him away.

He released a shaky breath and forced himself to relax. 

He had been spared.

At least for now.

Now, he had to make sure that no one asked him about it again.

Somehow.

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: Queen of Dreams by Kit Rocha

3.75/5. Releases 8/6/24.

Vibes: FFM, grumpy/pretend grumpy/sunshine, coming to terms with oneself, dark/light

Heat Index: 8/10

Now that Sachi and Zanya know their true identities--the embodiments of Creation and Destruction, respectively--the challenge is staying alive and harnessing their abilities. What Sachi's dragon god husband Ash wants most is to protect both women; but as the Betrayer lures Sachi into his clutches, he must work with Zanya to harness her dangerous abilities so that they can rescue (and fully awaken) the woman they both love.

This is the direct sequel to Kit Rocha's Consort of Fire, which introduced Sachi and her handmaiden/assassin/longtime lover Zanya as she was forced to marry Ash. Who not only turned out to be great, actually, but more than willing to accept Sachi and Zanya's relationship. Actually, he embraced it, falling in love with Sachi and becoming quite intrigued with Zanya... who was equally intrigued with him, if conflicted because, you know, she was supposed to kill him after Sachi seduced him.

It was great to see these three as a united front this go around, even if Sachi did spend a lot of time physically apart from her lovers. At least they were on the same side! The world spun in these books is so interesting, and I'd be happy to read more of it. Ash and Zanya are both such compelling characters; though she's a lot angstier than he is (which is saying something, as Ash isn't without his angst) there's this teasing that they're two sides of the same coin, just as Sachi and Zanya are... Albeit in different ways. They're both monsters that really get each other.

Which is why, for all that I enjoyed this book, I was a bit disappointed with how Sachi-centric the triad remained. Don't get me wrong--I really do like Sachi. She's bratty and fun, and I love that a girly girl princess archetype was allowed to be spoiled and decadent and quite sexual... and loving and sweet and powerful. However, I would personally say that Sachi has the least going on in terms of personal growth in both books. And that's fine. Ash and Zanya just have a lot more conflict and darker temptations in terms of power, and more disturbing pasts. All of those things just make them naturally, more interesting to follow.

And to be clear--I don't expect these books to dial back Sachi and Zanya in favor of Zanya and Ash. Although I believe that these women love Ash and he loves them, Zanya and Sachi have known each other way longer. Their relationship is really the crux of these two books. I don't want to cast either woman aside and het up a fundamentally queer relationship.

However.... Sachi is literally physically separated from Zanya and Ash for a lot of this novel. And before she goes, Zanya is so conflicted about hurting Sachi during sex, what with the destructive powers that she doesn't have a hold on, that their sexual relationship has died down a good bit. And Sachi actually tells her, "Ash is super down to fuck you, and I totally think you should get yours". She TELLS Zanya to explore that relationship.

And... they get somewhat closer, I guess. There are teases. But while I do believe Ash and Zanya forge more of a bond, I never felt like the emotional or physical climax of their arc really occurred. Maybe that would feel more okay to me if there was this very clear, full-hearted three-person arc ONLY. But just as Ash and Sachi's relationship developed in the first book, and we've seen the heart of Sachi and Zanya's relationship throughout both... It felt important that we got to the third aspect. I just don't super think we did. I felt Ash's attraction Zanya growing into love, and Ash is in general a very caring character who is a bit more honest about his feelings. I felt Zanya TRUSTING him, but it fell short of the sense that she... got to the place that I think we were supposed to believe she got to at the end of the book.

Which frustrates me, as I do think this dynamic was begging to be explored, and was full of chemistry. We were left at the end of the last book with this idea that Ash knew that Zanya needed to be loved and held. I thought this book would explore that, and I especially felt like it would after Sachi was separated from the other two.

For me, it's less this need to explore Ash and Zanya on their own, and more this desire to see Zanya fully loved and adored on the same level that Sachi is. Additionally, it seemed to me that Sachi kind of got all this praise for being sooooo amazing throughout both books that... Again, I like Sachi! But it became a bit much. Like. I know.

It sounds like I'm just dogging this book out, but I promise that I liked it! I'm definitely going to read more of Kit Rocha. However, and this could be more of a personal preference thing than a right/wrong thing--when I read a triad romance, personally, I like to see all aspects developed. It just felt like Zanya and Ash's dynamic got the short end of the stick.

The Sex:

Obviously, this book was quite hot. There isn't as much actual sex on the page as there was in the last book... which again, kind of frustrated me, as I thought we would get more Zanya/Ash stuff... But the sex that's there is well-written and exciting. There's one scene towards the end that.... oof. It's memorable, and honestly worth the entire read, I'm not gonna lie.

Again--for all that I have my critiques, this is a good book, and if you liked Consort of Fire, you should obviously read it. We seemed to have reached the end for this triad, but I'd definitely read about more characters in the same world. And I want to check out other polyamorous romances by Kit Rocha; I'm curious about how they handle different dynamics. Either way, I'm reading more from them, and that's a win in itself.

Thanks to Montlake and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[simlit]

ALL OF THEM FOR KATO

What architectural or design aesthetic would best suit them?

industrial; grunge aes, exposed beams, steel, mid-construction. the image of broken things, rebuilt in constant progress. messy, with a whiff of 80s and 90s charm in place of cozy and streamlined; rejecting the modern or the minimal: one | two | three

What character from myth or fairytale best represents them?

Perseus; Classical hero. Favored by the gods. To defend his mother, Perseus sets out to kill the gorgon, Medusa. Succeeding in great heroic feats and becoming a beloved king.

If your OC was a character in a novel from literary canon (doesn’t have to be western canon), who would they be?

Boromir | The Fellowship of the Ring; Boromir is Tolkien's analogy for the fall of man; what happens when good men fall to temptation. Boromir is otherwise a very classic hero: strong, a good son, a great warrior, cares deeply for his family, his country, and would do nearly anything to see it protected. He's deeply loyal, to the very end, but his fault was letting himself be tempted by the power of the ring. In the same way, I think Kato sees himself as that classic hero, he has many of the same ties as Boromir, but in the end, he absolutely would do anything to obtain the power he thinks is needed to save the ones he loves. He'll stop at nothing, no matter what consequence to himself or his own body, and certainly won't think twice about having to hurt someone he cares nothing for, in the process. He has done so, and would do it again, and I think that tunnel vision and arrogance is Kato's biggest flaw.

If your OC could meet any historical or past figure, whether in the real world or in their own canon lore, who would it be and why?

Atrius and Ilyna; In OST lore, Atrius was the mythological first known tidecaller, given his powers by Alloria herself. Ilyna was the last known tidecaller of their time, and died a hundred years before OST:O's timeline.

If your OC were to live in some other time period, which era would they be best suited for?

Classical Age; the era of ancient Greece. A time of great warriors, and equally great scholars. The invention of new ideas, new technology, and a world buzzing with both powerful knowledge and myth.

If your OC were to imagine their idyllic life (realistically or otherwise) what would it be like?

Much like his mother, Kato's ideal life would be a world where all his family were happy and healthy. Ideally he'd love to be in the sea, but that's a concession he'd happily make to see those he loves endure in peace.

What piece of moody poetry or novel quote best encompasses your character?

"The gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment may be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we are doomed." Achilles in Troy

Who is your muse’s muse? (What or whom inspires/drives them?)

His family. He takes inspiration from both Naida and Ven. Ven is the person he wishes he could be, but knows he's cut from a completely different cloth. Still, he admires their loyalty and their love. He admires Ersa for her endless compassion and ability to forgive and accept. And He admires Lyre's self-efficiency and determination.

Is your character bilingual or multilingual? Which language are they most comfortable in or prefer using? How did they come to learn them?

He can speak English and Allorian. Of the Bellamy kids, only Kato and Lyre ever learned. Lyre, so that he could read Allorian texts, and Kato for practical use. Naida taught it to them as children, but having no reason to use it, Ersa didn't retain it into adulthood. Despite their travels, the kids have only picked up very basic words and phrases in French and Mandarin, so their real primary language is just English.

Do they have an accent? How do they or others think of it?

I’ve often thought of this because I have no idea what to compare it to. I imagine all three kids have the strangest accent, being an amalgamation of American English, with very very subtle hints of Caribbean English, a pinch of Ven’s British accent, combined with Naida’s Allorian which has no real world equivalent, but would likely be a very romantic/Mediterranean sound. So for the most part, they’d sound like Americans of the time period (stilted British, OST isn't particularly historically accurate, more like historical adjacent lol) but with a heavy dose of “what the fuck are you”.

What is a common misconception about your OC? (Alternatively, what do people assume about them which is either incorrect or misconstrued?)

Oh, well that’s obvious. The biggest misconception is that he hates Ven. In fact, it’s so common that even Ven thinks so most of the time. But actually it’s the opposite of the truth. The fact that Kato can’t control or express his emotions properly, and that his desperate love and fear over losing Ven manifests as anger and frustration, means that he ends up venting a lot of it directly at his father and it makes for a hostile relationship. Ven has just as much difficulty navigating that relationship. He’s good with people, but Kato is maybe the one person he can’t fully grasp, and because of this, they’re often at odds. But Kato hating his father couldn’t be any further from his reality. 

What trait do they find most attractive/appealing about others?

He likes to see the same traits he holds dear himself in others. So loyalty, protectiveness, familial love. But also determination and ambition. He would absolutely butt heads with someone exactly like him, but he also couldn’t help but to admire them LOL.

What sort of role do they take on in relationships, either familial, romantic or platonic. i.e. are they a defender, protector, nurturer, etc.

Absolutely defender/protector. He sees himself as his family’s frontline, even when there’s no conflict. He’s very aware they could handle themselves in a troublesome situation, but his philosophy is that they shouldn’t have to, and should enjoy their peace while he takes on whatever burden as his own. 

What is one thing that they only let those closest to them see?

His sillier side. He’s a huge troll and takes on the “big/little brother” mantle with pride. He loves his siblings and absolutely would prank them a la Sims 3 and put hair dye in the shower. He’s sarcastic with people he sees as hostile, but his actual playfulness is reserved for those he really knows.

How would their life be different if they had never met their partner?

Hahahaha.

What is some advice or guidance they received that had a big impact on their lives or outlook? Was it a positive or negative impact?

Kato taking any kind of advice on board is actually hilarious.

Is mental, physical, or emotional wellbeing more important to them?

Physical. Because he sees most of his conflicts as battles he can push through. Being in peak physical condition, to him, means he can face whatever comes at him. 

If they were to lose the person closest to them, how would they mourn them and how would they handle their grief?

Because he positions himself as this ultimate protector figure, I think if he were to lose any of his family members, he'd see himself as a failure. I don't know how he'd ever be able to move passed it, other than to just reapply himself 100-fold to keep the others safe, making himself into an even bigger helicopter parent than he already is. But he would shoulder the guilt forever, absolutely.

[emlee81]

Whiskey and Sunsets-Joshua Faraday-Pt. 1

This is a little three part story that I originally posted on Wattpad. It's just a little story about Chris Pratt's character, Joshua Faraday in The Magnificent Seven.

Warning this story mentions death, strong language, sex, alcohol, violence and prostitution.

***

I'd always considered myself a strong woman. Not someone who was intimidated by many. And in my line of work, I couldn't afford to be timid.

My parents were decent, hardworking people, who had a small farm on the edge of town. We lived a slow, simple life and I suppose if someone had asked me, I would have replied that I was happy enough.

Until the day the storm came. It tore through the county, bringing heavy rain, wind and hail. The damage was insurmountable. Especially when I discovered that my pa had been killed from a falling beam inside the barn, while trying to free our horses.

My ma was inconsolable. She refused to budge from the broken bed inside the battered cabin. I was only thirteen at the time and barely old enough to get any decent kind of job to support us.

I did some work at the general store, although I know the kindly old man who ran it could hardly pay me much of anything, I appreciated his charity.

One day, one of the saloon girls was out back, smoking a cigarette and spotted me dumping out the dirty wash water from scrubbing the floors. She beckoned me closer and I timidly complied.

"Honey, I know you're in a bad spot at home, and that old shopkeeper, bless his heart, he can't pay you enough. How's about you cone work with me?"

I didn't answer right away. I'd heard the rumors, what kind of shameful acts took place in the den of temptation, as our preacher referred to as, and was worried about what my neighbors might say.

"Isn't it...bad in there?" I whispered to the girl. She just laughed.

"It ain't always a picnic, honey, but it's not all bad. It pays real good."

"I'm just a kid," I mumbled weakly. "Those men would scare me."

"I'll protect you, honey." She flickered her cigarette into the dust, leaned down and gently took my chin in her fingers.

"If anyone tries to hurt you, I'll kill them." I stared, wide eyed at this woman, whom I barely knew. I wasn't sure if I believed her or not.

"You're...telling me the truth?"

"Yes, I am." She turned to leave. "I'll let you think on it a spell. Let me know when you decide."

She hurried back inside the saloon, where loud, lively piano music was playing and I heard some angry shouts, along with a loud crash. I stood, thinking about her offer. I wasn't sure if I had enough nerve to go work inside that den of temptation or not.

***

"Mira, get yourself over here!" I roll my eyes, deciding to make the asshole who's hollering at me, wait a few extra minutes.

"Mira, get over there!" Salina, the young woman who'd recruited me all those years ago, snaps quietly at me.

"He can wait a bit. Serve the jackass right." Salina gives me a rough nudge, drawing a fierce glare from me. She pretends not to notice, instead only giving me another push. This one means business.

I drag my feet a little, cringing on the inside. Most days, I'm perfectly content to mingle with the crowd. Unless Cletus Smith is among them. Cletus is the type that you can't see them coming a mile away, but smell them.

Cletus gives me a wide grin, his teeth stained yellow from tobacco juice and who knows what else. He's wearing the same shirt and trousers as always, stained with tobacco juice, alcohol, dirt and various other stuff that I'm better off not knowing about.

"Mira, dear, you look as pretty as a picture!"

"Mr. Smith." I take a seat beside him and immediately, he's leaning towards me, an eager look in his eyes.

"Oh hell, Mira! No need to be so formal!"

"You know it's part of the job," I say, shifting away from him, his foul breath and body odor nearly wanting to make me vomit.

"I won't tell if you won't," Cletus says, giving me a wink like we're the closest of friends.

"Fancy a dance, Mr. Smith?" Cletus laughs, standing and slapping his thigh in delight. I plaster what I hope is a convincing smile on my face and take Cletus' cold, clammy hand, leading him over to a less crowded area and reluctantly putting my arms around him.

"You're the best damn dancer in this whole joint!"

"Thank you kindly." We dance for several minutes before Cletus starts getting impatient, dropping less than subtle hints about something more...private.

"Very well, Mr. Smith." I take his hand, weaving our way through tables, chairs and the other patrons, heading upstairs. I nearly stumble as Cletus gives me a rough tug. I toss him a dirty look, but he only pushes me again.

"Hurry up, you dumb bitch! I got an itch that's just waiting to be scratched!"

"Mr. Smith." Salina is by us in a moment, a fierce look on her face. "Need I remind you that you must obey the rules here?"

"Oh calm down, Mama! I didn't do nothing wrong! 'Sides, I am a paying customer!" With that being said, Cletus pushes me and this time, I stumble, nearly falling down half a flight of stairs, cracking my head on the wall.

Salina jumps in, but before she can, I hear an unfamiliar male voice speak up, along with the soft click of a gun being cocked.

"That's no way to speak to a lady, sir. Nor any way to treat her. I strongly suggest you apologize. Before I get trigger happy."

Someone grabs me by the arm, dragging me out of the way, my head throbbing as stars appear in my vision. I shake my head a little as Salina has her arms wrapped around my shoulders, my upper body pressed into hers. She's trembling.

My vision clears and I turn my head, gazing at the man who thought it was a good idea to intervene on my behalf. What he doesn't realize is that once he leaves town, Cletus will really let me have it.

He's tall, slender, although muscular, with dirty blond hair and blue eyes, a patch of rough stubble across his lower face. There's a mischievous twinkle in his eyes and he briefly flickers his gaze over to me. Our eyes lock.

"You sorry son of a bitch!" Cletus snaps, facing this mystery man, who appears as cool as can be.

"Do you like card tricks, mister?" Cletus' brow furrows in confusion.

"What?"

"Card. Tricks," the man says in an exaggerated way.

"Are you loony?" Cletus starts to push past the man, who's far more solid than he first appears, pushing Cletus back a few steps.

"Nope. But we're not talking about me. I was asking you a question."

"Did ya mean like playing cards?"

"Again, no." The man reaches into his pocket, removing a pack of filthy playing cards, fanning them out in front of Cletus, who looks downright baffled.

"Pick a card," the man instructs. Cletus does so. "Look at it. Commit it to your memory. Cletus looks the card. I'm looking at the man, who turns, giving me a wink. I scowl.

"Replace the card." Cletus replaces the card and the man shuffles them for a few seconds, before pulling one up off the deck and holding it up for everyone see.

"Is this your card?" It's the five of hearts. Cletus scowls.

"Hell, no! Fraud!"

"I wasn't finished." The man reaches behind him, appearing to pull the card out of thin air. I blink. Huh. Even I'm impressed.

"Your card is the Ace of Spades." Cletus' jaw drops, looking shocked.

"How'd you do that?"

"Can't tell you. It's a secret." Suddenly he's pushing the barrel of his gun into Cletus' chest. The poor man looks like he's going to piss himself.

"I'll make you a deal. You leave this here saloon and never bother these women again."

"W..What's the...deal?" Cletus' knees are practically knocking together. I've never seen him this lily livered before. It's entertaining.

"Oh." The man moves another gun up to his face, scratching it, as though he's thinking.

"And I won't fill you full of lead."

"Y..Yes, sir!" Cletus turns and flees, his face as pale as snow. The man chuckles, turning to Salina and I. She helps me to a standing position.

"You're welcome, little lady."

"I don't recall asking for your assistance!" I push myself away from Salina, turn and promptly crash into the man, who immediately reaches out to steady me.

"Easy." His gaze turns soft, catching me off guard. I quickly apologize, extracting myself from his arms. We step apart.

"I hope you realize that you've only made things worse by stepping in, Mr...?"

"Faraday. Josh Faraday."

"Mr. Faraday. Cletus Smith is a regular here. Once you've left town, he'll take up his place, right where he left it. And probably be bragging about how he scared you away."

Mr. Faraday turns to exit the saloon, a jaunt to his step. He's quite sure of himself.

"Who says I'll be leaving town, Miss..?"

"Ross," I supply. "Mira Ross." Joshua Faraday touches the brim of his hat, smirking as he heads out.

"The pleasure has been all mine, Miss Ross."

"He's trouble," Salina says to me.

"No shit."

****

As I'm running errands to collect some food items Salina and I's supper, whom should I see again, but Joshua Faraday. He grins, approaching me as though we're old acquaintances.

"Miss Ross, pleasure seeing you again."

"I wish I could say the same for you, Mr. Faraday." I thank the shopkeeper, grabbing my bags and head for the door. Mr. Faraday follows behind like a lost, little dog, begging for scraps.

"Have you recovered from your injuries?"

"Mr. Faraday, I had no injuries."

"Looked like to me you'd hit your head pretty hard on the wall. Not to mention, falling down half a flight of stairs."

"In my line of work, Mr. Faraday, that shit happens all the damn time."

"Not very ladylike, are you?"

"No, I think I've probably forgotten how to behave like a lady, truthfully."

"What about your family?"

"You're a bold one." I stare at him. I suppose he's the sort who charms every woman he meets, using his good looks and card tricks to get into their panties.

"That I am." Mr. Faraday chewing on some straw. He's staring into the distance. Is he worried someone catch with him? Maybe he's an outlaw, on the run.

"Your card trick was mighty impressive," I say.

"You liked that?"

"Yes." I side eye him. "I bet you use shit like that when you're playing cards, huh?"

"Sorry. I can't give away any of my secrets."

"Heaven forbid," I mutter. We reach the back entrance the saloon. I'm ready to get myself some supper and relax for a bit before getting back to work until closing time.

"I have to go. You watch your back, Mr. Faraday. Cletus Smith might not look like much of a threat, but he has friends."

"I have friends, too." Mr. Faraday grins, patting his gun holster. I roll my eyes.

"I'll be seeing you," he adds.

"Not if see you first."

***

"Mira, can I ask you something?"

"You can ask, doesn't mean I'll reply."

Salina and I are closing up the saloon. We're about to drag our weary bodies upstairs and get straight into bed. My back is killing me. I massage it for a moment before moving the last two chairs.

"I think that Faraday character is sweet on you."

"That's not a question." We blow out the last of the lanterns and head upstairs.

"He's handsome, no?"

"He's a pain in ass," I retort as I begin undressing and tossing my dress aside, reaching for my night dress, slipping it on and collapsing on my bed. Ooh, it feels amazing.

"Mira, he defended your honor." Salina moves to blow out the lamp before climbing into her bed.

"And? I owe himself for that?" I roll over on my back, staring into the darkness. I recall Joshua Faraday's ruggedly handsome face. Damn. Now I think he is getting under my skin.

"No. But who knows if I would have been able to stop Cletus from...harming you."

"Salina, anybody could take on that sack of shit, Cletus. He's as dumb as a post."

"I don't know. He is a man, after all."

"Men are men," I retort, rolling back over and closing my eyes. "Cletus, Mr. Faraday, they're all the damn same. Aggravating, stupid and full of themselves."

"I bet Joshua Faraday isn't as bad as you think," Salina murmurs.

"Sorry," I reply, grinning, thankful for the cover of darkness. "I'm not much of a betting woman."

[my-head-is-an-animal]

Home Calling

Talos x Original Female Character/Keller x Original Female Character

Chapter 6

Talos sat back in his chair and thought on what Keller had told him. It explained everything he had seen in Anya from the beginning.

    She had saved his kind from being revealed to the world, and she didn’t even know. She’d given up everything for his people, despite one of them setting her up, and she’d given up the love of her life. Talos not only promised Keller, but himself that he would not let anyone get close enough to hurt her again, at all costs.

    He remained by Anya’s bedside for another couple of hours, just thinking through everything that Keller had told him.

    He knew it was risky to call Keller, for the last thirty years he had to be very careful when using Keller’s face to get around, he needed to make sure he was never in a place that could cause any major problems.

    When Keller stepped down as Director and moved to the LA office permanently to oversee smaller operations, it became easier for Talos to move around. When Fury had been Director, he could come up with adequate cover stories where they were needed. But Talos had no idea of the true price Keller had paid in order to carry on with his work. He knew the former Director of SHIELD had completely separated himself a little over a year before, he remained secluded in his expansive home in LA, but there was no clear reason as to why he’d dropped everything. Until now.

    Talos left Anya sleeping, she had yet to move or show any signs of waking up, she would be fine for an hour or two.

    ‘She awake yet?’ Fury asked, chewing on some popcorn while he and Hill talked.

    ‘No.’ Talos shook his head, he leaned against the table and thought about how to approach things.

    ‘What’s wrong?’ Hill frowned.

    Talos took a deep breath and decided to just come out with it. ‘I called Keller.’

    ‘You what?’ Fury stood up straight, making sure he heard correctly.

    ‘Talos, you know how risky that was?’ Hill turned in her chair to face him.

    ‘I do.’ Talos nodded. ‘But I didn’t even get a chance to say hello before he asked me if Anya was okay.’ He knew that would catch their attention. ‘A man who was betrayed by someone who could reveal every secret he had if she wanted to, and the first thing he says: Is she okay?’ Talos shook his head. ‘I told you there was something wrong with this, you didn’t listen.’

    ‘Wait, I don’t understand.’ Hill frowned.

    ‘Did you know they were in love?’ Talos directed the question to Fury.

    ‘In love?’ He seemed genuinely surprised.

    ‘They were in love.’ Talos repeated. ‘She buried the memory of Keller, buried everything good she remembered about him, leaving only the bad memories, all to stop herself from running back to him, because if she did, the truth would come out.’

    ‘What truth?’

    ‘She didn’t betray you. Keller did.’ Talos ran his hand over his face. ‘One of my people infiltrated the base and took Anya’s likeness, it was the only way Keller would open up and even then, he didn’t give the information up without hesitation. She took the fall for his mistake because otherwise, my people would be exposed.’

    ‘Anya was protecting you?’ Hill was starting to put the pieces together.

    ‘And she doesn’t even know.’ Talos nodded.

    ‘What about when we asked her about Skrulls? If she’s encountered your people before-‘

    ‘She would have had to bury that as well.’ Talos stopped her, having already thought about this. ‘I don’t know about you, but if you find one out of place thread, the temptation to pull might be a little overwhelming. She had to bury everything that would lead her back to the truth, Keller sent that drug to help her keep those memories hidden, tried to make it easier for both of them. I know you have your opinions, but I believe him that that’s the truth and as far as I’m concerned, I owe them both a big one for keeping my people safe.’

    Talos waited for them to process the information, folding his arms over his chest. The room was tense, and he had no idea of what the next words out of Fury’s mouth would be.

    Hill seemed to have an easier time accepting it, but even she struggled after all she thought she knew about Anya and Keller. Fury just stood silently, presumably going through every piece of information he had to see if the new theory fit.

    ‘We still don’t have a lead on who is behind the attacks.’ Hill spoke first.

    ‘We can find the bomber again easily enough.’ Talos assured her. ‘I know a couple of places they might go. I’ll put some feelers out.’

    Hill nodded, but Fury was still silent. There was no convincing him with one conversation of what really happened, but it was clear that something was happening behind his eyes.

 Talos worked hard to find the location of the bomber, mostly for Anya’s sake, he didn’t want her efforts and her injury to be wasted on incompetence or lack of trying.

    He also decided to investigate the night Keller was referring to. If he could recognise the Skrull in question, he might have been able to help reunite the two of them. The only downside to all of this was that he may never have seen Anya again.

    He hated to admit it, blaming it mostly on the fact that he took Keller’s likeness for so long, but he had grown to like Anya in more ways than one. Talos tried to put it out of his mind as much as he could. She was in love with Keller, not him.

      It was two days before Anya woke up, she was groggy and in pain, but Talos was there by her side, ready to help where it was needed.

    ‘Hey, hey.’ He said, quietly moving into her eyeline. ‘You’re okay.’ He tried to reassure her, but there was a moment of fear in her eyes.

    It broke his heart so much more than it had the first time they had met, now knowing why she reacted to Keller’s face with immediate fear and confusion, it was just painful.

    ‘Just breathe.’ It was difficult for him to help her remain calm without being able to touch her. He just wanted her to feel some kind of comfort. ‘Are you in pain?’ He asked. Tears floated to the corners of her eyes as she nodded and Talos immediately went to increase the pain medication, he already thought it was a tad high, but if it helped, then he wanted to do it for her. ‘Better?’

    Anya began breathing more easily and closed her eyes to feel the pain meds working. ‘Thank you.’ She breathed. Her hand going to her shoulder where her wound was.

    ‘Doctor said it wasn’t a fatal strike, but you will find it uncomfortable for a few weeks.’ Talos offered, meekly. He shoved his hands in his pockets, giving a small smile. She frowned in questioning. ‘We found the bomber.’ He told her. ‘We – well, I – am going to sneak into the meeting tonight and get any other information we need to dispel the group.’

    ‘That’s good news.’ Anya whispered, her throat clearly dry.

    ‘Here.’ He moved to help her sip some water, holding the straw for her. He didn’t want her to think she was helpless, but he also didn’t want her to suffer. ‘You don’t have to do anything else. You can stay here until you’re feeling better.’

    Anya swallowed after her last gulp. ‘I can still help.’

    ‘I know.’ He assured her. ‘I know you can, but you don’t have to. Just rest. Let me do the work, yeah?’

    She was a little confused, but nodded anyway.

    Talos had been in the middle of looking through the security footage that showed the night Keller spoke with the Skrull infiltrator. He didn’t want Anya to see it, keeping his laptop turned away. She frowned at it and Talos shook his head.

    ‘Just doing some research.’ He shrugged. ‘Have some more water, you’re at risk of dehydrating.’ He didn’t actually know if she was, but it was enough of a distraction to keep her mind off of his work.

    ‘Did you find anything else?’ She asked.

    ‘No.’ Talos lied. Anya’s eyes narrowed just a little, it only occurred to him in that moment that she may have known his face much better than anyone, of course she would know he was lying. ‘There might be another Skrull of interest at the meeting, but I can’t be sure until I get there.’

    She didn’t ask any follow up questions, years of training herself not to around Keller must have allowed her to accept his first answer without hesitation.

    Anya was eventually up and about a few hours later. Talos was surprised that she bounced back so quickly, but then again, the knife hadn’t pierced anything important, it was just blood loss and pain that was keeping her bed bound. Once they were under control, there was really no need for her to remain there.

    ‘I still think you should rest a bit longer.’ Talos said, he was concerned about a fever, humans tended to be susceptible to those things.

    ‘I’ll be fine,’ she brushed it off. ‘I just want to stop these attacks.’

    ‘Your concerns have been noted, Talos.’ Fury interrupted, not pleased at the delay. ‘Can we get going now?’

    Talos folded his arms, shaking his head, but he didn’t object.

    He insisted on riding in the back of the car with Anya to keep an eye on her while they drove to the location of the meet. Talos found a new face to use to get in, Anya watched him change back to his true form and her expression was one of wonder, and something else. Longing?

    ‘It’s a cool trick.’ She smiled.

    ‘We all have our talents.’ Talos shrugged, taking on the form of a middle aged woman from across the road.

    ‘You ready?’ Fury sighed, pulling up outside the warehouse.

    ‘As ever.’

    Hill handed back a pair of glasses. ‘We’ll be able to see and hear everything in there.’

    ‘I’ll be in and out in no time.’ Talos put the glasses on and smiled once more at Anya, who at least looked happier despite her bloodshot eyes and sling keeping her arm in place.

    Talos tried to make sure he stayed at the back of the meeting, he didn’t want to draw too much attention to himself and risk exposure, but he did need to get closer to certain conversations.

    He thought about Anya briefly, sitting in the back of the care with Hill and Fury in the front, ignoring her and thinking the worst. Talos felt his heart swelling, this all felt like a betrayal, not just because of his wife, but Keller as well.

If you liked this, please consider supporting me ☕ thanks for reading!

[queenofnohr]

*tapping papers against my desk like a news anchor again*

and now back to our regularly scheduled Miserere Mei content

So for today I’d like to get into Mei’s backstory but it’s uhhhhhhhhhhhh. It can be pretty triggering. As much as I’d like to keep everyone safe I....... unfortunately feel like the landscape of the internet rn sorta lends itself to people abusing content warnings to instead search for stuff they don’t like and like...... I’d rather not bring this to the attention of people it isn’t meant for who like... wouldn’t have even seen it if it wasn’t tagged

So instead I’m gonna post a pic of Slow Damage’s content warnings cuz that game is phewwwwwww and you can decide on if you want to proceed based on that (specifically choosing that game bc while not all the warnings apply, that game does cover all the content Mei’s backstory has so it should be...... adequate. hopefully.)

In any case, I talked about it before, but Mei’s whole thing is that he has the “face of the goddess” i.e. resembles Hydaelyn and is in fact the perfect vessel for Hydaelyn in a reflection where Hydaelyn is worshipped.

Normally this isn’t too much of a problem, but if a person is too desperate, they’ll start to see him as “the goddess.” Reaching for him, clinging to him, thinking he’ll be their salvation, thinking he’ll satisfy their desires......

This is in no small part why he detests other people and finds them pathetic.

And while the other party’s mental state has to do with if they’ll fall for Mei’s permanent “charm” status effect, it also must be said that the more time one spends with Mei, the more susceptible one is to thinking of him as “the goddess.”

As an aside, even if people don’t completely fall for him, this sort of charm effect makes it easier for him to get his way - the people of his reflection (or at least those who worship Hydaelyn, which is like...... yaknow, at least 95% of people) naturally feel a sense of camaraderie or are predisposed to like him, at least until he starts acting like he’s got a chip on his shoulder (and again, even then he may be easily forgiven depending on the other party’s state of mind)

In any case, this is all well and good when Mei is an adult, has his own agency, his own fists to fight for himself, but......

When he was a child. It was obviously much more of a problem.

That is.........

Things were all well and good for a time. His parents loved him, adored him. Kept him safe from people who started to look at him....... oddly. Expect too much of him. Think of him not as a child, but as a goddess.

But as time wore on, even Mei’s parents began to change...... His mother started to believe her child was holy, was an avatar of Hydaelyn, would bring salvation to people. She began to amass a following around herself with Mei as an object of worship. His father, disturbed by what he was seeing and also feeling Mei’s “pull” himself, grew paranoid and began to think of his own child as hellspawn, the snake in the garden of Eden, temptation itself, and...........

he tried to slit his own child’s throat.

Mei actually has a scar line of scale round his neck that he keeps hidden with chokers because of this incident. It is the only scale scarring he feels self-conscious about.

His mother........ saved him. If she hadn’t been there to stop it and get Mei medical attention, Mei would’ve been killed. So. He felt indebted to his mother. For saving him. For protecting him.

But......

Those feelings of debt were exploited. As the cult’s followers grew more fanatic, and Mei’s mother herself fell further into thinking her own son as someone who would “soothe mankind’s hurts and wants” and who would “appease desire in the human soul, thus breaking the wheel of samsara” she began to allow her followers to do whatever they pleased to Mei. All to satisfy whatever desire they had. All for some twisted sense of “salvation.”

As an aside to all of this, Mei has medical trauma due to the very first to exploit him being his own doctors...... As a mixed race Au Ra/Hyur who showed physical tells of being “male” in Au Ra (blue tongue, off-white scales, etc) but whose growth seemed somewhat stunted and whose body appeared “feminine” by hyur standards, he had frequent medical exams to ensure he was maturing properly. His doctor was the first to abuse him sexually, and when Mei’s mother found out, not only did she not do anything, she invited said doctor to be a part of the cult.

This was Mei’s life until he was about 15/16, wherein he ran away. He stole money from the cult’s coffers to get by on his own, and quickly began to engage in prize fighting to make a living, eventually going on to do illegal underground cage matches.

He self-studied in an effort to get into university and, in actuality, is extremely bright which is what brings us to current Mei who has just entered college and despite hating people in general, falls head over heels for Kyrie at first sight - Kyrie’s apparent immunity to his charms only serving to make Mei completely obsessed with him.

[nekoprankster218]

So the recent Nanahara Alliance event has made me realize that I love villains who were once completely pure or kind only for a tragic event to 180 their entire personality or even their whole worldview

They could've just made Orochi a generic bloodthirsty mythical monster, especially since her source material was already that, but they didn't. They made her a guardian of humanity that cherished her priestess so much that the cruel betrayal of that priestess for the sake of others' greed completely changed her. What's extra interesting is that it's not just a simple, "I want revenge for that day." From what I'm getting from her dialogue, she still recognizes humanity's capacity for innocence and kindness - which is why she wants to kill them while they're still in that state, before they either fall to temptation or are betrayed by those who fall. She wasn't just enraged by that day in her past, but her ideals also so twisted but still making sense for her original self.

It's so fascinating to see these types of villains in stories. For one, it reminds the viewer that pure evil is not the only way one become a villain, and that even those who seem innocent now can be become corrupted by anything. And in the case of them going at odds with protagonists with the same motivations and beliefs that the villain once had, I can think of a few different questions that add to the tension: What if the heroes end up like the villain? What if the villain bonds with and is changed by the heroes, only for the heroes to be betrayed? Would the villain spiral again like in the past?

Also as a side note: I also really like Minato's motivation throughout the storyline. I think it's more realistic and relatable - we don't just want to protect our loved ones, but we also want a safe future for ourselves to just live without worrying about conflict and heroics (even if we don't always actively think about it).

[midnightunderground-npcs]

Interview: Jose Alves Cruz

Dossier:

Name: Jose Alves Cruz

Age: 50

Species: Human - Thrall

Circle: Mortalis

Known Relationships: Marcia Alves Cruz (Deceased Wife), Josefina Anita Alves Cruz (Daughter), Hollis Fiala (Thraller), Damian Harker (Business Partner of Sorts)

Interview:

What's your name?

“My name?” The mayor smiles easily, setting down his files so he can focus forward on the hunter before him. Hunters and thralls were truly two opposites of the spectrum a simple human could exist as in the Midnight Underground - the Aware falling flatly in the middle. Love the Supernatural so much you tie yourself to them, or hate them enough to spend your life dedicated to their deaths. Of course it was never quite so simple as that. There had been Cameron, the one who had fallen in love with the wolf. Poor man, truly. “Jose Antonio Alves Cruz is my name.”

How do you know Tabitha Spencer?

He takes a few seconds to really ponder the question - how can he answer this as honestly as possible. “I don’t know her well at all. Until I saw her reach for the gun and shoot Mx. Fiala, I didn’t even care to know her name. There are a lot of wolves in the Underground. I hope you can understand how I, a humble thrall, wouldn’t be so privy to all their names. As Mayor I’m more well versed in the Aware and those that aren’t. And Tabitha isn’t the type of wolf you ask to thrall you. She’s too young and too reckless. As you can tell from tonight.”

How do you know Jose Alves Cruz?

The question is redundant. The man before Kellan knows himself probably better than most people do and he looks forward at them with a politicians easy kind of smile.

How do you know Hollis Fiala?

“I’m sure you’ve heard through the grapevine by now just how I now Hollis Fiala,” Jose jokes and gestures to his arm, still in the sling from the bruising pain that’s been there ever since the shot rang out. The woes of being the thrall were simply that. When your thraller hurt, so did you. But when they flew high, well, that was intoxicating, an addiction that was easy to fall for. Temptation had always been the rotten curse in his family line. He thinks for a moment about Josefina who he had trapped in the same curse. It was better this way. “I’m their thrall.”

Did you see the shot happened/What happened that night from your perspective?

“It was all very fast, I hope you can understand.” Jose begins slowly, deliberately, like every word that follows takes him a considerable amount of effort and thought. “I heard something that sounded like a gunshot and then there was an actual gunshot. I felt this pain blossoming in my shoulder and I knew Hollis had been hit. Thralls are tied to their thrallers and as such we feel everything they feel. Though the opposite direction is less intense. What a silly thing for Fae to feel something a human does, for example. Nothing I have experienced has hurt quite so badly. Next thing I knew there was a scuffle and my guards had grabbed Miss Spencer and the gun was on the floor. None of the people paid to protect me would shoot someone who would hurt me indirectly so there was something else to assume. Both Hollis and myself had been shot by Tabitha Spencer. I feel sorry for Damian. He’s a good man.” Though when he says that, well, the smile does not quite reach his eyes.

When did you get the invitation for the party/know you were going to work it?

“I suspected I would get an invitation as I do every year since I’ve been mayor of Las Vegas. To have someone Aware, let alone a thrall, in the back pocket of the Underground is useful so I think they try to keep me on their side by showing me just how human you can all be.” Jose smiles, shaking his head. “It isn’t necessary though. I’m already here. Karlha and Thaddeus are quite the happy couple, aren’t they? Marcia and I would have been celebrating our 27th wedding anniversary this year.”

Did you go with someone?

“I did not. I would have gone with my wife, but, as you know she passed away recently, in November. I’m still in grieving and I haven’t put much thought into it. We were married a long time, over two decades. You can understand that, I’m sure. And I would have brought Josefina, but she had other plans for the evening. Busy thing, my little girl. So very, very much like her mother.” Unfortunate as it was. But he left that part off.

Do you own a gun/have you ever owned a gun?

Jose laughs, mostly because he thinks the line of questioning is a bit silly. He points to the gun safe sitting only a few feet away from him in his office. “As you can see, I do. Many of them. I’m a thrall working as the mayor of a dangerous town with an even more dangerous underbelly that would love nothing more than to take advantage of me and mine. Beyond that, I go hunting quiet often. Duck, deer, anything, really. So yes, I have guns. You’re more than welcome to look through them if you like. All of them are registered in the Unaware databases and I would be happy to have that proof printed off for you to look over at your own discretion. Now, if you don’t need anything else, I have to go back to some documents. I may be part of your world, but I’m also part of the other one and I’ve promised you both plenty.”

[leonbloder]

You Are Here To Risk Your Heart

Most of the inspiration for my Daily Devos comes from my reading. When I read, I constantly underline or highlight passages that speak to me, and then I put those highlighted quotes in a file on my computer. 

Sometimes, I journal these quotes or think about them deeply outside the writing context. But when the time feels right, I typically reflect on them here, with all of you. 

I read a quote from author Louise Erdrich some time ago, which I filed away and have been pondering ever since. For some reason, today feels like the day to write about it. 

Here's the first part of the quote: 

How many of us resonate with this quote? I know that I do. Life breaks you sometimes. The good news is that being broken isn't forever, but when it happens, it sure feels like it will be. 

The temptation that most of us have at that point is to withdraw, but solitude in all of its forms won't keep us from breaking, nor will it allow us to heal completely. 

The only thing that will bring healing is to open ourselves up to the risk of being broken.  Like Erdrich says, we were not meant to die without risking our hearts over and over again.  

I don't know about you, but when I am on my deathbed, I don't just want to say that I lived; I want to say that I was alive.  

Which brings me to the second part of his amazing quote by Erdrich: 

And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness.  Tell yourself that you tasted as many as you could. 

There's something about that last bit that sparks my imagination.  I can picture myself on a hillside apple orchard, looking out over spectacular fall scenery and watching apples fall around me.  

You can see this through the lenses of scarcity, lack, trepidation or abundance, openness, and courage.  

Do we dare live so that we do everything we can to taste as much of life as possible, even though we will get our hearts broken, or do we guard our hearts, protecting them from pain and feeling any amount of true joy? 

It seems an easy choice sitting here right now.

But when the memories of old hurts and the familiar ache of betrayal, brokenness, and loss return, it's far easier to put up our guard, build the walls, and do what we can to keep the world at bay. 

If this sounds like a familiar pattern, don't feel bad.  We all struggle with this to some extent, some more than others.  You are not alone. 

We also have to consider that it would lose its novelty if every day were Christmas. So, every day is not all butterflies and rainbows. Some days are filled with hard things. 

But we can experience more joy daily if we are vulnerable enough to live heart-forward. 

This might look like being vulnerable enough to admit you are not okay.  You might also have to rediscover the gratitude you can feel from occasionally letting other people care for you.  

And all of this is worth the risk of brokenness because how else will we live as though we are truly alive?  

May we all adopt a heart-forward outlook, determined to live every day to the fullest, embracing the many gifts and lessons it brings.  

And may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with us now and always. Amen.