#thinking about the way the finale feels like a parody of its own

[fatale-distraction]

BG3 Companions Social Media Headcanons Part 1

I was bored at work and couldn’t stop. 🤣 I’ll make another post with Halsin, Minthara, Jaheira, Minsc, and some NPCs!

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Astarion - Pre-Tav, Astarion's social media is mostly thirst-traps for some kind of nefarious, Cazador-related money-making plot. They barely scoot past the TOS on lewd content. Very little real personal content, anything that isn't a thirst trap is heavily doctored lifestyle content to make it seem like he's living a much more luxurious life than he actually is.

After meeting Tav and getting rid of Cazador, he deletes all of his old accounts and opens up new ones. They're not exactly private, but he's much more careful about who he follows and who can follow him back. The posts become much more genuine. Still a lot of selfies, but they're sexy in the way of a guy just finally living his truth and being comfortable in his own skin. There's more shots of his daily life; waking up with his partner's obnoxious pets strewn across the bed, morning coffee and his current favorite book, new outfits that make him feel more himself. Tav features heavily in most of his posts, and there are probably as many pictures of them as there are of himself.

Karlach - chaos. No rhyme or reason. Lots of parkour and Jack-ass parodies. Constant flood of pictures of her stuffed animal collection. Stupid filters abound. There's several videos of her just flexing. Lumberjack videos. Seven hundred pictures of Tav, tons of selfies together. Videos of her literally sobbing over some cute stuffy she found or a dog she got to pet. "How many times can I say the fuck word before I get suspended." Memes. Memes everywhere.

Lae'zel - She follows three accounts and never posts anything, but somehow she's constantly scrolling through. What does she even do? Her profile picture is still the default. She doesn't have any profile information filled out. It just says "No." Her screen name is just Lae_zel. Every single item in her favorites is a cat video. She has One photo and its a gym selfie. All of her comments seem really mean at first, but they're all weirdly supportive things along the lines of "your teeth are sharp and your visage terrifying".

Shadowheart - total E-girl influencer vibe. Everything is #nofilter. She doesn't need filters. She's god's most perfect princess. You can't even be mad because it's not vanity its just how she Is. Ends everything with Prayer-hands-emoji hashtag Shar'sblessings or Selune'sblessings depending on where she is in that journey. Hairstyle and makeup tutorials and she makes it look so damn easy. "Dye my hair and cut my bangs with me." "Get ready with me" videos nearly every day. Every picture has a comment from Astarion that just says "oh fuck off" because even he can never hope to be as perfect as she is. Or at least that's what her forty-five thousand followers think.

Wyll - The official Blade of the Frontier social media account(s). Fencing videos and promos. "How to polish your horns for newbies" video that's been taken down twenty-seven times for lewd content even though it's literally for polishing actual horns. Accidental thirst traps because damn. Lots of disability advocacy, especially for visual impairments. Weekly Demon/Devil PSAs. Constantly featured in Karlach's vids and vice-versa. Buddy selfies. Once in a while a pic of him with his dad. Pics with Tav are rare, but when he does post them they're the sweetest pictures and he gushes about them for paragraphs. It's a little gross how gushy they are. Astarion comments with vomit emojis and Wyll just replies with an angry face emoji. The purest content. He's so wholesome. Not a swear to be seen. Lots of gentle hype videos. "You've got this. You can do this. I believe in you."

Gale - oh my god he has the most pretentious social media accounts. He's worse than Astarion. "Well, actually" videos with multiple parts because they're too long. Tea and bookshelves. Tara. So many pics of Tara. Tara napping on a book. Tara swatting a fly. Tara in the window. Tara on the kitchen counter. Tara laying in the sun. Tara doing nothing. He has one of those fancy cat terrarium backpacks. Magic tutorials. Mystra simp. Surprisingly few selfies but the ones he has are IMMACULATE. Pretentious book reviews. His only saving grace is that he is HILARIOUS. He's the only one with a reasonable about of pics with Tav as opposed to almost none or way too many, but the captions are always really sweet.

~~~

Part 2 here!

Part 3 here!

Part 4

[ophanum]

' MISS CONNECTIONS ! - Niragi Suguru

ft. sub yandere! Niragi Suguru x f! insecure! reader

synopsis : You have seen him talking with another girl, so unsuspected and he's so chill with her. You saw this scenario not only once but twice. Now he's banging on your door.

tags & tw/cw: Slight OOC, angst.

❝A rib cage breaks in many ways... I'm told the best way to do it is take the heart out, is take the heart out...❞ — Miss Connections by The Keystones

It was her.

"Bunny," he called out, a name that used to send shivers down your spine, now dripping with a sickening sweetness.

The crowd blurred, a sea of faces except for one. There he was, the black hair a beacon. But it wasn't him that stole the air from your lungs.

His smile, the one that used to be yours, was plastered on her face too. It felt like a theft, a violation. As her smile mirrored his, a crack formed in your heart, widening with each passing second. The warmth you'd built around your emotions crumbled, replaced by a hollowness that echoed in your chest.

Tears pricked your eyes, blurring the scene further. You wished, with a desperation you hadn't felt in years, that he could see the wreckage he'd caused. The love you'd poured into him, now a shattered reflection staring back.

A ghost of a smile played on your lips, a bitter parody of amusement. You didn't need to stay here, a spectator in your own heartbreak. With a final, resolute turn, you walked away, leaving the shattered pieces behind.

"Hey babe," he chirped, pushing open the door. His adoring gaze swept the room before landing on you. Your back was turned, but he didn't miss the way you stiffened at his arrival. His grin, wide and boyish, seemed at odds with the way he swayed towards you, arms outstretched. Despite it, they landed softly on your hips, pulling you closer.

You remained unresponsive, a statue in his embrace.

"Just wait," he murmured, nuzzling his chin against your shoulder and squeezing tighter. "There's another game we can play, right? You and me? What do you say?"

"Sure," you replied, your voice flat. "I'll play."

Niragi, usually oblivious, caught the undercurrent in your tone. Maybe it wasn't your best day. He forced a smile, trying to inject some lightness into the air, even if it clashed with his usual bravado.

"Perfect! How about we head to my room?"

Silence stretched, thick and heavy. Finally, you spoke.

"No. Actually, I don't think I'm in the mood."

His eyebrows shot up. "Hey, what's wrong?"

A humorless chuckle escaped your lips. It sputtered out before fully forming, like a deflated balloon. Though you remained, the lightness had vanished from your laughter.

"Just not feeling it, Niragi," you sighed. "Honestly, sleep sounds amazing right now."

The clink of metal echoed as you dropped your utensils, the clatter a stark contrast to the quiet simmering on the stove. You turned and walked away, leaving Niragi rooted to the spot, his hand reaching out as if to grab your arm, then retracting just as quickly.

"Okay then," he mumbled as you reached the doorway. "Sweet dreams, babe."

The door shut with a soft click, your reply lost in the silence.

That's how things had been. Maybe a little childish, you thought. But the tone of his voice, laced with a vulnerability that resurfaces ever since you two admit each to one's feelings, sent your mind spiraling. A flicker, a spark – not broken, but…dented.

Liar. The word echoed in the empty space where your laughter once resided.

You love him more than you can handle. It's a suffocating weight, this affection, a burden your heart wasn't built to carry.

Love, in its purest form, terrifies you.

A tear welled at the corner of your eye, threatening to spill. But not this time. No, please, not today. Not when you're already teetering on the edge. Sleep, blessed sleep, became your only solace, a refuge from the storm brewing within.

Then came the next day. And with it, the sight that ripped the fragile peace you'd cobbled together. There he was, again, with her.

Why? What twisted game was this?

Jealousy, ever the venomous serpent, coiled itself around you, its icy grip climbing from your toes to your very core. It squeezed, injecting its poison into your veins, turning your thoughts to ash. Your fingers clenched, knuckles white. The world blurred with a haze of hurt and anger.

But then, a flicker of something else. A ghost of a smile played on your lips, your eyes drooping half-closed. The raw shock morphed into a mask of weary acceptance.

"Maybe..." you whispered, voice barely audible, "maybe they are better suited..." You squeezed your eyes shut, a strangled sob catching in your throat. "I can't compete with that..."

Defeated, you turned to leave, each step heavy with the weight of unspoken hurt. But just as you were about to slip back into the shadows, a hand clamped down on your arm, halting your retreat.

"What were you mumbling about, babe?" Niragi asked, his voice laced with concern.

You turned your head slowly, meeting his gaze with a wary caution. A flicker of movement behind him caught your eye – the woman he'd been with, now engrossed in conversation with someone else. His eyes, however, held a different story, a story you could almost decipher from the worry etched within them. He must've caught a word or two of your whispered defeat.

A smile, fragile and uncertain, touched your lips. In those depths you saw reflected the memories you shared, the very foundation of your love for him. And you knew, with a pang of truth, that his love for you brimmed over, a constant overflowing cup. Yet, even a cup overflowing with red wine can be refilled. He was the one who'd take his last breath for you, you knew that.

So why this sudden doubt, this crippling fear? Because love, you understood with a bitter clarity, was a fickle thing. And you, you were weak. You couldn't hold out forever, no matter how much it tore you apart.

Even for him?

But wasn't this for him, too? This agonizing self-preservation? A selfish act, a mantra echoing in your head – selfish, selfish, selfish. But what other choice did you have? Did you..?

"Are you okay?" Niragi's voice, laced with genuine concern, snapped you back to the present. You looked at him, the weight of your unspoken turmoil a heavy burden in your chest.

Your eyes snapped open, the daze momentarily forgotten. You forced a closed-eye smile, hoping it masked the turmoil within.

"Hey! Didn't see you there. What's up?"

Niragi wasn't fooled. Something was terribly wrong. "Y/n," he pressed, his voice firm. "Talk to me. There's something bothering you..."

You let out a shaky breath, a sliver of your exhaustion finally reaching the surface. Your eyelids fluttered shut, revealing the dark circles beneath. "Just...tired, Niragi. All these games are catching up, I guess."

You started to walk away, seeking solace in the quiet corners of the room. But Niragi's hand clamped onto your arm before you could disappear.

"Let me help," he pleaded. "Babe, I hate seeing you like this. I want to fix it."

A sigh escaped your lips, heavy with unspoken words. "Maybe later, Niragi. I just need some space."

You retreated once more, leaving him standing there with a furrow in his brow.

How many times? How many walls had you built, only to have him break them down with his unwavering concern? It had happened just yesterday, hadn't it? And the week before that? A month?

Now here he was, practically begging on the doorstep. Knees scraping against the floor, knuckles rapping a frantic rhythm against the wood.

"Y/n, please..." his voice choked with emotion. "Tell me what I did wrong. Tell me, so I can hold you again. I just want things to go back to how they were..."

An hour had passed, measured by the deepening purple of his knees and the puffy red of his eyes. Yet, he persisted. You, in a way, had molded him into this new Niragi. A man in control, seeking validation through love, not violence. Rid of the bloodlust, the madness, the insecurity. You'd sculpted him into something better.

Perhaps that's why he hadn't just barged in yet. But the raw desperation in his voice hinted at the calamity simmering just beneath the surface, barely contained.

The weight of his debt was heavy – his life, his future, all tethered to her. But if this was the end, then so be it. He'd unleash the monster he kept caged, just to keep her by his side.

Yet, a question gnawed at him, a relentless echo in his mind. Why? Why was this happening?

Just then, the click of the lock sent a jolt of hope through him. He lifted his chin, a desperate plea mirrored in his puppy-dog eyes that twisted something in your gut. He sank to the floor, clinging to your leg.

"Please," he rasped, the word a desperate plea through hiccups. "Please, just tell me what's wrong..."

"Come inside, Niragi," you sighed, leading him into the room.

You settled on the bed, the air thick with unspoken tension. Niragi remained standing, a storm brewing in his unstable gaze. He craved answers, and he craved them now, even if it meant forcing them from your clenched fists. Even if it meant laying waste to everyone around him for your sake.

"So?" he finally barked, his voice tight.

Silence stretched between you, your eyes refusing to meet his. He searched your face, desperate for any explanation.

A groan escaped your lips as you buried your face in your hands. "It's me, Niragi," you confessed, a wave of misery washing over you. "I'm not strong enough for this."

"No, you're not weak!" His laugh, a harsh, hollow sound, sent shivers down your spine. Unhinged, desperate, teetering on the edge. "You're the strongest person I know, stronger than me even!"

"That's not what I meant," you clarified, your voice barely a whisper.

His gaze locked onto yours, a frantic plea replacing the desperation. Like a cracked glass, he seemed to hold onto the last vestiges of control, preventing the torrent of emotions from spilling over.

"I don't think I can do this anymore," you whispered, the words heavy with defeat.

"What?" The single word broke free, laced with disbelief.

"Find someone else, Niragi," you choked out, tears stinging your eyes. "I don't deserve you."

A tremor ran through him, a crack splitting wide within. The dam holding back the monster was on the verge of breaking.

"Wait!" he cried, scrambling to his knees before you. He cupped your face in his trembling hands, his grip gentle yet firm. "Why? What happened? I...I don't understand! Y/N, please, please, tell me..."

The dam within you finally broke. Your lips quivered, and a tremor ran through your body as the raw vulnerability of his touch cracked the carefully constructed facade. Tears streamed down your cheeks, your hands limp in his grasp.

"I...I got jealous," you confessed, the words choked out on a sob.

Niragi, overwhelmed with his own emotional turmoil, could only listen intently, his hold tightening slightly with every shaky word you spoke.

"I know you didn't mean anything by it," you continued, voice thick with despair, "but it hurt so much, Niragi. So, so much. I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. I'm such a terrible girlfriend..."

"No! It was me!" he roared, desperate to absolve you of any blame. "There's nothing to apologize for! I'm the one who glanced over, like an idiot! It wasn't anything, I swear! I'm so sorry, Y/n, so sorry! I'll never do it again, I promise! You're the only one I see, my love, the only one I'LL EVER SEE!"

You shook your head, the memory of that single glance, a mere hairline crack in your relationship, amplifying into a gaping chasm in your own mind. This was your weakness, your flaw, laid bare.

After the torrent of emotions, an exhausted silence descended. You took a shuddering breath, a tired smile flickering on your lips.

"No, Niragi," you said softly, your voice drained. "Don't you see? Can't you see how weak I am? How flawed?"

"No, they're not flaws! They're not!" he cried, his voice thick with choked sobs as he cupped your cheeks. "They're not... how can I make you understand that?"

You shook your head again, the movement barely there. "There's no need to explain anymore, Niragi. I won't listen. It's...irritating, isn't it?" you whispered, your voice barely audible over his sobs and the muffled thumps of his fist hitting the bed beside your leg. "I'm not trying to blame you...it's just the way things are. Can't we accept it? Fate practically screaming at us. Let's not try to ruin it all."

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT FATE!" he roared, his voice raw with desperation. "I don't care about anything at all! I ONLY WANT YOU, Y/N! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GIVE YOURSELF TO ME?"

His words hung heavy in the air, a desperate plea laced with a terrifying undercurrent. He was at the end of his rope, teetering on the edge, willing to become the monster he held at bay, all for a chance to keep you.

At this point, his hair stuck to his face in damp strands. His sobs had slowed to ragged hitches, his eyes red and puffy. He hiccuped, clinging to you like a lost child. And amidst the wreckage, your heart, if it even existed anymore, shattered into a million pieces.

You'd questioned its existence for a while now. Was there even a flicker of sympathy left within you, for him or yourself? You'd cried yourself dry days ago, the tears a testament to your own pathetic state.

"I don't know how to fix this, Niragi," you whispered, the words a hollow echo in the room. "I wish I did."

"I would never," he hiccuped, wiping his face with a wet sleeve. He slumped down, laying his cheek on your lap like a defeated puppy. "I would never do it again, Y/n. Put me on a leash, tie me to a chair, lock me in a dungeon with starving dogs – losing you would be the death of me."

His voice dropped to a near whisper, his eyes losing their spark. "Don't...don't make me a grave."

Your lips quivered. Maybe you were the monster. Not the monstrous being Niragi conjured in his mind, but perhaps the architect of this pain. Maybe you were the one inflicting the hurt. And the thought of it repeating… you tilted your head down. It would repeat, wouldn't it?

"Niragi, it hurts so much," you choked out, the words thick with despair. "Why does it have to be this way?"

"Y-You're asking me?" he offered, a ghost of a smile flickering through his hiccups, only to melt back into a frown.

You cupped his chin, forcing him to meet your gaze. "Cuddle with me?"

2.4k words...

[shmowder]

In case you missed it, Game Rant did an interview with Nikolay Dybowski about Pathologic 3. Here is the link for it.

And here are the bits that stood out the most to me:

Q: The non-linearity of time and how it will be related to the nature of the Town are also core story components. How did this affect design and direction?

A: Connecting non-linear time with a long, narrative-heavy story that involves many characters and cause-and-effect chains would be extremely difficult. We focused on what the player feels in the moment rather than on gathering information in the right order. The latter approach works well in shorter formats like Her Story or 12 Minutes, but in Pathologic, it would be overwhelming.

We wanted players to feel like “everything, everywhere, all at once”—similar to Billy Pilgrim in Slaughterhouse-Five. Different versions of reality coexist simultaneously, creating a “quantum” feeling for the player. Look at the time travel mechanic as an opportunity to correct mistakes, or even to make deliberate mistakes in order to unlock new paths and ideas. It is like a "sanctioned save scum."

-

Q: Conversely, how will it (Pathologic 3) connect to and consider the events and characters in Pathologic 2?

A: Consider it as two subjective retellings of the same events. This is the same Town, the same twelve days, the same participants and events that occurred in the Haruspex’s story. But this is a different perspective. Like two witnesses recounting the same event in Rashomon, the stories vary greatly, each focusing on different details. Finally, we always give our heroes the right to make honest mistakes, forget, and even lie. Every narrator is an unreliable narrator.

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Q: How did Pathologic’s previous philosophical explorations help inform or play into the narrative and themes here?

A: Everything we now see as true and valuable, we’ve kept. Everything we’ve outgrown, like childhood clothes, we either reimagined and reinterpreted to give these ideas new meaning, or let go of them. After all, we’ve grown a lot (hopefully, along with the industry). When I first conceived Pathologic, I was 21 and completely alone. Now I’m 47, surrounded by incredibly talented people who enrich this universe as much as I do, and that makes a difference.

We’ve kept the idea of the tragedy of utopian projects. We kept the idea that the plague is a voice of the natural order—one that the thinking human mind cannot accept—and that it has its own truth. We retained the belief that evil cannot be defeated with its own tools or outplayed on its field; yet it can be defeated realistically in a different, orthogonal way. In another dimension.

-

Q: It’s mentioned that the Bachelor is searching for an immortal man in Pathologic 3. Can you say if this is in reference to Mark Immortell?

A: No, there’s no connection between Simon Kain (one of the town’s rulers) and Mark Immortell (the director of the town theater). Mark is a clown. He awkwardly mimics Simon, parodying him, which is why he takes on this pseudonym. He's fully aware that he’s a jester, and the gesture itself is ironic.

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Q: What do you hope players will take away most from Pathologic 3?

A: The hope that humanity remains a promising and capable species.

-

Also, new game pictures and screenshots dropped:

(some are old ones I forgot to post)

[jiunngs]

CRUSH ON YOU ✶ P1HARMONY

ft. gn!reader x p1harmony (separate scenarios). warnings: none except for a minor mention of throwing up in intak's section wc 1.5k

desc ★ the moments they realised their feelings ran a little deeper than friendship.

기호 ☆ KEEHO

you were sharing headphones on the ride home from a day in the city, r&b playing in your ears as the train sped on. the two of you weren't speaking, but there was no need to. you were both content with just listening & sharing a comfortable silence.

he was just beginning to drift off himself when he felt something loll onto his shoulder, and froze up completely before realising it was you; soundly asleep with a pleasant look on your face as you dreamt. he felt his own face heat up a little at the proximity, and a smile made its way across his face. one of his hands shifted from its idle position in his lap to brush some hair back from where it'd fallen across your field of vision. he kept the hand in your hair after it had been fixed, thinking to himself that it would be nice if you could stay like this forever.

ah. well. that thought was a new one. but, surprisingly, not an unwelcome one. being domestic like this, waking up and falling asleep beside you, doing all the things that lovers did— it didn't seem so bad.

slowly, as not to disturb you from your dreams, he rested his head atop yours, closing his eyes and relaxing into the material of the chair behind him. there was the risk of missing your stop, but he couldn't really find it in him to care.

테오 ☆ THEO

it came after he began to notice all the little things you did for him. draping a blanket or your jacket over him when he'd fallen asleep on the sofa, leaving out his favourite foods or making him a hot drink whenever he hadn't had the best day, sitting and watching his favourite romance movies with him even when he knew they wouldn't be your first choice, and so much more.

maybe it'd been growing over time, the minor things that he'd appreciated building up to the one thing that really cemented it in place. and perhaps it wouldn't seem all that big to some people, but the night you'd made him dinner was something he still thought about to this day.

it was nothing particularly fancy, sharing space on the kitchen island as you ate together, legs and hands occasionally brushing against each other, but it was just the thought that you'd taken the time out of your day to do it all that really made it all fall into place for him, made him feel like he was someone that much more special to you— not that he doubted his worth in your eyes, but the act in itself was something reassuring.

he'd fallen into it after that, wanting you to be with him more and more until it finally all clicked into place. the moment was over quick at first, but it was only when he was lying in bed staring at the ceiling when it really sank it. he liked you, wanted to kiss you and hold your hand and take you on dates, do all the small things you did for him but returned tenfold.

지웅 ☆ JIUNG

in a practice room long after the sun had set, all daylight gone from the streets and leaving the clear moon to take it's place up above. the two of you were engaged in some impromptu dance battle, energetic hip-hop playing from the speakers as you faced off, the blonde making a playful 'i'm watching you' gesture with one hand.

you were in no way being serious, pulling any move you could think of to match the high-energy beat and to make jiung burst out into his raucous laughter, no doubt loud enough to reach the occupants of any neighbouring rooms, but neither of you finding it in yourselves to care. he'd replied in kind with his own parody of a proper routine, and then you were going back and forth until it devolved into the pair of you just laughing at each other.

that is, until a familiar song came on over the speakers. it was one you liked, and you told jiung as much as you slowly started to build up a proper rhythm with a grin.

it was then that he knew, while watching you really throw yourself into it and enjoy yourself, that what he felt for you was probably tipping the scale in the direction of the more romantic side of the spectrum. if anything it was more surprising that he wasn't surprised by the revelation, and instead welcomed it. somehow he felt like he'd always known, and this was just the instance he was coming to realise it.

인탁 ☆ INTAK

on a rollercoaster at the theme park, both your arms raised high and him screaming his lungs out while you laughed so hard you could feel tears pricking your eyes beside him.

he'd turned to face you in the midst of the excitement and felt the sight knock the breath out of him more than the never-ending loops and twists of the ride could ever; his yelling dying down as he simply took in the image of you laughing uncontrollably, hair windblown and eyes shining. oh.

you met his gaze when you noticed the distinct lack of noise from your best friend, and when you saw him looking wide-eyed and a little pale it was only natural for your first instinct to be panic.

"intak? you're looking kinda queasy, are you okay? oh god, if you're gonna throw up please do not get any on me— this is my nice jacket, man, you can't go and ruin it!"

it was then a rush to reassure you that he wasn't going to be sick, all while trying to process that fact that he maybe sort-of probably (definitely) had very real and romantic feelings for you. somehow it felt more like a rollercoaster than the one you were both still currently on.

소울 ☆ SOUL

a new arcade had just opened in your area, and so of course your first instinct was to drag shota along with you the second you could. so far it'd been an afternoon well spent, the pair of you making it your mission to play on every machine they had available, despite the hit your wallets would take.

currently the redhead was on one of the basketball games, throwing in ball after ball as quick as he could with a small smile present on his face. you took the chance to wander off to one of the claw machines while he was distracted and, when you spotted one with a character you knew he liked, were quick to rush over and insert a coin; eager to try and win it for him.

it took more than a few tries, all of which involved some curse word or another being muttered under your breath when you just missed the stuffed toy you were aiming for, but you eventually got it and cheered in celebration, rushing to grab it and rushing over to where shota was still happily shooting hoops.

he made a confused noise when you shoved it into his chest, but gently took it all the same and looked up to where you were grinning; clearly proud of your winnings. it hit him then— a soft feeling of ah. he liked seeing you like this, wanted you to be happy every second you were with him. the realisation only made him smile wider right back at you, taking your arm and dragging you back to the machines to try and win something for you this time, so you'd match.

종섭 ☆ JONGSEOB

it was while teaching you how to skate, sun setting overhead as the pair of you practiced over and over. he was in the process of showing you a trick, and called to you over his shoulder just before he did.

"like this. you get it?"

you nodded enthusiastically after his demonstration, eager to try it out for yourself. he smiled and stepped off, rolling it over to you and then standing back to watch.

unfortunately for you, your attempt didn't go as well as you would've hoped, and you went toppling to the concrete below before he could stop you. he was about to rush over and check you weren't hurt, but was stopped in his tracks by the sound of your laughter; loud and open in the evening air.

it struck him like lightening, a sudden rush of oh god oh god oh god, and he was left to desperately mediate between fanning his own red cheeks and helping you up from where you were still sprawled on the ground, the occasional giggle still escaping. it seemed his moment of self-discovery would do him more harm than good, if this was how he was going to react every time you so much as smiled at him, and he couldn't even begin to imagine the amount of teasing he would receive once he told the rest of his friends.

but, once he looked over at you again and caught sight of you still smiling widely at the abandoned skateboard; already wanting to go again, he found he didn't really mind.

✿ THESE WERE SO FUN I LOVE ALL OF THEM SM?!? but also jiung + theo were kinda hard x__X hope i didn't do them too much injustice lol :p gn!!

[iamnmbr3]

Cursed Child rant? as a treat? 👉👈

Oh god. Where to even start. Listen, I know some people enjoy CC and I say more power to you. I'm not here to be the fun police and say what people can and can't like or write fic about or derive meaning from or whatever. But for me, personally, Cursed Child is an absolute mess of the worst kind that irritates me on a profound level.

First off, it's completely inconsistent with the canon characterizations and established rules of world building (and JKR didn't even do that much world building so there wasn't that much to keep track of and yet, they couldn't even bother to do that). I mean, Cedric, who tried to give the Triwizard Cup to Harry doesn't win and that somehow causes him to become a Death Eater??? Huh? It's not just ooc. It's bad storytelling. I mean, even if he was a hugely sore loser why would losing a tournament cause him to join an extremist blood purist paramilitary group? That has nothing to do with him losing. It's stupid and childish and nonsensical and SO bad.

And really? That's the best you can come up with? If the point of that whole thing was the tired trope of 'time travel goes wrong and makes things worse' they could've just had the gang expose Crouch earlier but instead of Voldemort not returning he just ends up returning but not using Harry's blood which allows him to do his original plan of growing his power in secret. And idk. Maybe then he takes over and he kills Harry and Harry doesn't come back. I didn't even put any effort into that. It's a bit dumb and inelegant but it gets the job done without wild character assassination and a lack of logic so profound it would insult the reasoning abilities of a fungus.

But ok, let's judge it as its own vaguely Harry Potter inspired thing rather than as an actual sequel to the canon series. You know what the result is? IT'S STILL BAD. It's just. SO BAD. I don't understand how it's a real thing.

It's like a parody of a bad play. It can't possibly be real. Harry suddenly has a phobia of pigeons? Why??? It's so...stupid. And I'm supposed to take that seriously? What? And the dialogue. The dialogue. "Bad" doesn't even cover it. The fact that "Wow. Squeak. My geekness is a-quivering" is a real actual line in the actual play causes me physical pain. WHO WRITES THAT?! AND THEN LEAVES IT IN THE FINAL DRAFT?!?!?

And Delphi. WHAT EVEN?! She's literally like a parody of a bad fanfic Mary Sue. Down to the blue streak in her hair. But we're supposed to take her seriously? As a villain? Tf? She's like a bad Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way knockoff. The whole play is like an unfunny parody of bad writing. But it's not supposed to be. It actually pretends to be a genuine drama. Which is so much worse. I truly think My Immortal is better. And way funnier.

No effort at all went into the story construction. Characters act incredibly childishly and unrealistically and simplistically. The story doesn't feel like it was written by adults. There's no feeling or depth or emotion. It's all plot contrivances and nauseatingly simplistic writing. It isn't a story. It's just some stuff that happens. Because the writers were just like 'eh it's Harry Potter it'll sell.' And that's not art. That's just churned out content. And it bothers me on such a profound level that they did it and got away with it.

I would be embarrassed to write that for myself, let alone to turn that in as a professional writer. It's so inconsistent with the original story that I legitimately think the 2 guys who wrote it didn't even read the books. They just glanced at the wiki and decided they were good to go. Despite being PAID to do this. How sloppy is that? Not to mention Harry Potter meant so much to so many people who were ecstatic to get more content yet the two clowns who wrote this just skimmed the wiki and then vomited out some of the worst lines ever penned in history and called it a day.

[ruinofchimera]

Finally, someone had the guts to address this absurd circus around so-called ‘ugly’ characters in books. And look—I’m only human, so of course, I’m going to toss in a few logs of my own into this dumpster fire.

What I can’t—will not—ever stomach is the sheer audacity of some people to dictate how others should imagine characters. The nerve. It’s as if they’re so puffed up with their own sense of importance, so absolutely convinced that their view of the world is the gospel truth, that they feel entitled to impose it on everyone else. Well, let me save you some time—you’ll get nothing from me but a resounding ‘bloody sod off.’ Maybe try therapy if you’ve got that much pent-up energy.

The fandom debates on the matter of attractiveness—dear God, they’re relentless. The second a character’s ‘ugliness’ is even hinted at, the discourse spirals into some surreal parody of itself. And when it comes to Severus Snape, well, that’s where people have really outdone themselves. That’s where the madness truly reaches its peak. You’ve got one half of the fandom—rabid ATYD fanboys and fangirls, mostly—ready to pounce on any art or fancast that doesn’t fit their atrocious vision of Snape with the chant, ‘THIS IS TOO PRETTY TO BE SNAPE!’ And then you’ve got the other half of the fandom who take it upon themselves to issue a rallying cry for ugliness, as if they’re campaigning for some higher cause. ‘Don’t be afraid to picture Severus as ugly as he truly is. I prefer him that way,’ they say, as if they’re handing out some kind of badge of moral superiority for embracing ugliness.

Well, hold on a second—define ‘ugly’ for me, would you? While you’re at it, define ‘pretty.’ I’d love to see you try to box up something as subjective as human attraction into neat little labels. What do you mean he isn’t beautiful? Do you think there’s some universal truth about what constitutes beauty? Have you ever heard of this tiny thing called tastes?

Because here’s the reality: tastes vary. What’s pretty to one person is ugly to the next. Yet, somehow, these people have convinced themselves that conventional beauty is the only standard worth recognizing. It’s almost as if they’ve been so brainwashed by mainstream standards that they can’t comprehend any other version of reality.

And even when you do talk about conventional beauty, do you really think everyone’s swooning over the same faces? Take Ben Barnes, for example—an actor practically deified by parts of the internet. Do you think he’s universally adored? Brace yourself—because he’s not. There are people out there who think Barnes, despite all his fanfare, has a nose far too ugly for anyone’s liking. And guess what? That’s fine. Because beauty is subjective. It always has been; it always will be.

Yet, in fandoms, you’d think some people were personally appointed to enforce these ridiculous beauty standards, insisting that everyone must imagine the characters the only right way. Let me let you in on a secret: just because a narrator calls a character ‘ugly’ doesn’t mean jack. Writers, same as anyone else, have their own bloody preferences. Sure, they can project those tastes onto the page, but at the end of the day, it’s just that—tastes. Nothing more.

Now, take Snape. What do we actually know about his so-called ugliness? A large, hooked nose. That’s it. And from that, you want people to conjure up some grotesque, monstrous image? Give me a bloody break. Who even gets to decide what’s ‘large’ and what’s not when it comes to appearance? It’s subjective, like everything else in beauty. You like a nose that’s straight and button-sized, or maybe you prefer someone who’s practically noseless, like Voldemort? Well, good for you. I’m not here to judge. But do me a favor—keep your pristine, perfectly upturned little nose and your narrow standards of beauty out of my business.

And here’s the funny thing—the absolute hysteria over Snape’s greasy hair. You’d think the guy walked out of a swamp the way people go on about it. But guess what? There are plenty of characters with greasy hair that fans are practically wetting themselves over. Need an example? Loki Laufeyson. That’s right—the Loki. The man’s got exactly the kind of lanky, greasy hair that should, by your standards, render him disgusting. Yet, somehow, there’s a whole legion of fans swooning over him like he’s some fallen god of beauty. Suddenly, greasy hair is mysterious and sexy.

Let’s not forget—Loki is played by none other than Tom Hiddleston, whose appearance is hardly what you’d call ‘conventional.’ He’s not some pretty boy with chiseled features, and yet, there’s no shortage of people who are ready to kneel at the sight of him. So, what happened there? Where’s all the hand-wringing over his greasy locks? Oh, that’s right—there isn’t any. How inconvenient for you and your narrow-minded standards of beauty. It’s almost as if your little squeaks about ugliness are soaked in nothing but shallow, prejudiced nonsense.

Beauty isn’t about ticking off boxes on some checklist of features society has deemed acceptable. It’s personal, subjective, and as varied as human taste. If all you can get behind is some cookie-cutter version of aesthetics, then by all means, live your bland little life. But don’t you dare try to impose that on the rest of us. You don’t get to dictate how others picture characters, just like you don’t get to decide what’s ugly. Beauty’s a wild, unpredictable thing—and it’s about time people stopped trying to cage it with their narrow ideas of what it should be.

[cringefail-clown]

I'm so fucking invested in your turnabout au I'm going to explode please just like ramble if you up to it

hoo boy lets do it

so atm my favourite part of the au to think about is post scratch bro and his relationship with hal, post scratch roxy and what dave would think about him. like for example i don't think he'd be this big superstar like post scratch dave was in canon, his work against the condence would be much more subtle. i imagine him working much more closely with roxy and grandpa jake - its not clear in canon how much dave, rose and jade collaborated together, they for sure were in contact, but its honestly up to interpretation. those three in the au would probably work very closely together, maybe roxy and dirk could help jake with building up skaianet - dirk as an engineer and rox as a programmer. they'd also have their own gigs on the side, roxy would sure as hell hijack crocercorp with malware every chance she got, and dirk would have some obscure websites that'd spread propaganda against condence under the veil of weird puppet stuff and insane chatbots. he'd probably write some kind of this universes detective pony parody book and get it published and it'd become one of the most recognisable pieces of literature documenting the takeover of the troll empire and the rebellion against it

(some quick designs of hal and bro i pulled outta my ass)

honestly he'd probably become some sort of vigilante batman-esque figure in this universe?? he'd show up unexpected, blow some crockercorp warehouses and disappear into the night. and after hal joins him when he builds him a body the media would paint them as some sort of twin antiheroes lmfao

oh man and hal. it'd go simialrly as it was in canon, dirk would fuck around and copy his brain at a young age and they'd HATE each other at first. like dirk would feel responsible for creating hal, and hal would resent the shit outta him - like how dare he be the one who gets to keep the body and hal must be stuck in a pair of glasses, trapped with no means of escaping? but they'd start working together when they find out about dave and the future to ensure their lil bro has the best chances of survival, and in time they'd bond over it and their shared work against condy. they'd come up with a plan so that hal goes into sleep mode until the arrival of the meteor (bc no way in hell dirk would make hal go through hundreds of years of lonely existance, watching as humanity slowly ceases to exist and unable to do anything about it, he'd go nuts).

and the day finally comes when dirk would have to go face the batterwitch so he'd put hal in the apartment and they would tell each other one last goodbye and dirk would put hal in the sleep mode. and hal would wake up like only seconds passed, not years upon years, only the vast ocean streching as far as his eyes could see behind the dirty, dusty windows, and he'd know his one brother is long dead, gone while facing the enemy he was destined to lose against but had to do it anyway, and the other one moments from crashing into the waters below on a meteor sent by some insane video game that creates new universes. he'd sit there for a while, reality slowly sinking in, and he'd probably desperatly wish like he hasn't in years, to be human again and to mourn his losses the human way, because as advanced as his robotic body was he haven't thought about updating it with some goddamn tearducks.

on a lighter note, imagine dirk crunching numbers for three days straight to figure out how much food he'd have to stock in the apartment to make sure dave doesn't grow up malnourished, desperately googling "how much calories does an *insert age* year old need". he'd be banned from every supermarket in at least two states. he would walk into the store and employees would start weeping at the sight of him. i think about it a lot

[concorp]

MCYT Eras Concept

For a long time, I've thought of MCYT as divided into different eras. I've finally decided to refine the idea and write it out. I feel it's a good way to define things, rather than just "old school" and "modern", as the bar for each of those have shifted drastically over time. Please do note that a lot of how I describe these eras is mostly from my own perspective, but I do think the overall divisions work well for MCYT as a whole!

Era 1 - The "OG" Era (2009 - 2011)

The beginning of Minecraft and MCYT. Much content at this point was traditional lets plays, simple tutorials and showing off early innovations in redstone.

Era 2 - The "Classic" Era (2012 - 2014)

This era encompasses what is often considered the peak of many iconic "old school" groups and series. Team Crafted, Mindcrack, the various Yogscast Tekkit series, and many, many more.

It's difficult to describe everything that made up the classic era in a succinct manner. It was the true rise of SMPs, Adventure Maps, Minecraft Animations, Parodies, Mod Reviews, MCRP, and so, so much more. Minecraft was unavoidable on YouTube back then.

Era 3 - The "Gap" Era (2015 - 2017)

The "gap" era is named for the lull in MCYT's popularity. In this period of time, it was seen more as a niche, compared to the massive popularity it saw before and after.

This era saw the "death", or at least massive dips in popularity to many formerly wildly popular groups and ccs, as viewers interests changed and moved onto other things.

Many series came and went during this era, but weren't properly appreciated until after their time.

Era 4 - The "Revival" Era (2018 - 2019)

This era, due to a combination of many factors, was MCYT's return to mainstream. Many people returned to both singleplayer series and servers. Episodic SMPs old and new such as Hermitcraft and Truly Bedrock, began experimenting more with the lines between gameplay, story and improv.

This era also saw the rise of streaming based series, such as SMPLive, SMPEarth, and Minecraft Monday.

Era 5 - The "Lockdown" Era (2020 - 2022)

Much of this era is defined by the new heights reached during covid lockdowns. This era kicked dozens if not hundreds of the careers of those who grew up watching MCYT during the OG and Classic eras.

This era is admittedly very defined by the DSMP, rocketing MCYT and specifically MCRP into a level of popularity unseen before. Second, and as just as important to this era is MCC, bringing together so many personalities from all over the MCYT sphere who otherwise would likely have never interacted on a monthly basis.

A massive innovation in this era was also the introduction of the Simple Voice Chat mod to many servers, now a staple of most multiplayer content.

Era 6 - The Current Era (2023 - Present)

Unnamed as of yet, as it is still ongoing, the current era of MCYT has so far been defined by not only the continued rise of many smaller, younger MCYTs. But largely, and undoubtedly, by the QSMP.

Not only has it redefined what an SMP can be through its gameplay. It has brought the international MCYT community is closer together now than ever, crossing language and cultural barriers previously rarely touched.

---

This concept of mine isn't fully solidified, and is up to be more refined. I would love to hear y'all's thoughts and feedback about these divisions and the idea overall!

[analogwriting]

The Other Side of Paradise

Chapter 3: Tangerine

Killer x gn!reader word count: 2.4k first|next a/n: more date niiiiiight

Once finished with your frozen treats, the two of you headed to the movies. You still hadn’t fully decided on one. You didn't care too much about what to see, you were just glad to finally be spending some alone time with your beau - and you more than likely wouldn’t be paying attention anyway. Your mind was either going to be running or you were going to be too occupied doing something else.

“Did you decide?” Killer looked at you once you were at the ticket booth. You shrugged, looking over at the movie list. “Mm, how about that one?” It looked like a horror movie parody. The perfect combo of what you were feeling. Something that wouldn’t require too much attention.

He nodded, purchasing the tickets and concessions before the two of you headed for the theater. 

Once you took your seats, you looked around. The theater you were in was empty for the most part, save for a handful of other people in different groups. You were surprised, you figured that on a Friday afternoon - it’d be busier. Maybe it didn’t really start getting busy until later, but it didn’t bother you at all. You kind of liked it when it was empty - felt like a private showing.

Either way, you didn't care really. It's not like you were gungho to see the movie either. 

As it started, you were already only half paying attention. Your mind kept wandering to the big news. He said he wanted the two of you to enjoy yourselves before he told you, but you couldn’t enjoy yourself at all. You couldn't focus in the slightest, all the possibilities playing over and over in your head.

You didn't even really notice that you had zoned out until you felt Killer tap your thigh. You looked over to him, blinking. “Are you alright?” he mumbled. You nodded, flashing a smile. “Just thinking,” you whispered. 

Killer raised an eyebrow. He knew what you were thinking, no doubt. You leaned over, kissing him softly, resting your forehead against his for a moment. Then you had a small idea - a little payback for making you wait for so long. 

Your hand slowly made its way to his thigh and he glanced down before looking back at you as you slowly neared towards his groin. “Here?” You shrugged, smiling. 

“Why not?” You hands groped at him through his jeans and he groaned softly, clenching his jaw to keep himself quiet. The movie was pretty quiet at the moment and there might have only been a few other people, but he still didn't want to broadcast what the two of you were doing. 

Though, it's likely the others were doing the same. 

He let out a long sigh, trying to keep it together as you quickly undid his pants with one hand. “You're almost too good at that.”

“This ain't our first rodeo, love,” you mused, stroking him through his boxers. You thought about fooling around in the theater the entire time. You didn’t plan on investing in a movie, but you realized that you didn’t want to give in to lust now. You wanted Killer to have just a taste of his own medicine.

“I’m…” He was already panting slightly. “I was the one who was supposed to be treating you,” he breathed. You grinned, squeezing him slightly, making his eyes roll back slightly. “You'll have plenty of time for that later, I'm sure.” You winked at him. You knew how the date was going to end - the two of you boning somewhere. It’s how it always ended and you loved it every time.

He grunted. “Fuck, I love you,” he mumbled. He rested his forehead against yours as he panted softly, trying to keep himself quiet as you worked him through his boxers. You could feel him slowly building up to his climax, rock hard in your hand.

“Babe,” he mumbled, clenching his jaw. You felt him twitch, telling you everything you needed to know about just how close it was. “I-”

Before he could get the remaining words out or even reach his peak, you pulled your hand away. He looked at you through half lidded eyes, confusion taking over his features as he tried to figure out your angle or what was even going on.

You kissed the tip of his nose. “That's for making me wait so long. Now you're gonna wait too,” you whispered. He just stared at you through his bangs in disbelief as you turned, getting comfortable in your chair.

He just sat there, trying to figure out what the hell just happened as you tried to suppress a grin. You definitely knew that he was gonna let you have it later and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

--

After your little prank, the two of you finished up the movie as if nothing happened. It took him a bit to gather himself again. It had been a while since the two of you were really able to go at it, so you knew he was more than ready to burst before you cucked him of that.

On your way home, you realized he wasn't, in fact, driving home. “Where are we going?” Excitement filled your chest again.

Killer was quiet for a moment before speaking in a monotonous tone.  “I'm taking you to the middle of nowhere and killing you.”

You snorted, looking from out your window to him. “Don't threaten me with a good time.” You leaned over, kissing his cheek. You knew he would never do something like that. Plus, if he wanted to, he would’ve by now - long ago.

You did notice he was kind of taking you in the middle of nowhere, and it was dark so you were having a hard time making it out. However, you had a feeling you knew where you were going. The way felt familiar and there wasn’t exactly anywhere else. “Our spot?”

He didn't say anything, just smiled as he continued driving. It'd been quite a while since you've been out here, so now you were even more excited. Once more, you were practically bouncing in your seat.

The place that you had dubbed ‘our spot’ was on an overlook that had a beautiful view of your small town. It was beautiful both during the day and at night. At night, you could see the stars because there wasn't too much light pollution and during the day, the natural landscape was just breathtaking. 

A lot of people didn't know about this particular outlook either. Everyone knew about the other one, but you and Killer had accidentally discovered this one while out hiking one day and it became a place the two of you went to spend alone time together. It was always nice and relaxing out here. Quiet.

You were pulled from your thoughts as you felt Killers arms wrap around your waist from behind and his lips on your neck. A small smile spread across your face as you turned around, wrapping your arms around his neck to kiss him properly. 

He lifted you up, carrying you over to the truck and setting you on the tailgate that was now pulled down. You realized he had set down a blanket and some pillows. “Oh, you got it aaaall set up, huh?” you mused. 

He kissed you again before hopping into the truck with you. He kicked off his boots and you did the same before crawling onto the little palette he made in the bed of the truck. “I know how much you just love sitting under the stars.”

You felt your face warm up and you couldn't help but smile. He was right - you loved stargazing, especially with him. Any activity where the two of you just sat, simply existing in a beautiful place was your favorite. 

He laid back onto the pile of pillows and you curled up on his chest. The two of you were quiet, just enjoying the sounds of the night as you stared up at the stars.

“We got signed.” There it was - the news.

Your heart stopped and you immediately sat up to look at him. “What? Signed? You mean…?” Your eyes were wide as you processed what he was saying. 

He nodded, a large smile slowly taking over his features as his excitement began to seep through. “A record label reached out to us. Apparently watched our last couple of shows. They want to sign us.”

Your head was spinning. Sure, this is what you hoped and dreamed of for him, but you still couldn't believe it! You stared at him as the information sunk in. 

“Baby, that's fantastic!” You kissed him hard, grinning from ear to ear. He chuckled, wrapping his arms around you as he held you close. You were so elated - you could only imagine how he must be feeling. Their hard work was finally paying off!

After a moment of rolling around, he pulled away from you. There was a troubled look on his face. “What's wrong?” You frowned, worried.

He took a moment, clearly thinking of how to bring whatever it was up. “They want us to move to the big city. Across the country…”

You blinked, looking at him for a moment as you, once again, processed the information. 

“All four of us would have to move,” he said, helping you process things a bit faster. It was clear that he was worried how you’d react to this part of the news.

Then it hit you. He was leaving. Without you. Your eyes widened, unable to find words. You were happy for him but also somewhat…scared. 

Not in an insecure way. You weren't scared of him finding someone else without you - that wasn't it. No, it was the fact the two of you have practically been attached to the hip since you were seven. 

“We just need time to settle in and adjust, then you can move out there with us. We don’t exactly know what we’re gonna be set up with or how much room there will be. Hell, for all we know, it could be the four of us in a bedsit.” Panic was setting into his features the longer you were silent. You realized that he probably thought you were angry. 

Finally, you snapped out of it, finding your voice again. “Sorry. Processing.” You shook your head, smiling at him. You reached up, taking his face in your hands before pulling him in for the most tender and passionate kiss you could muster. 

“This is a good thing, baby. This is your dream come true.” You looked at him, slowly crawling into his lap and straddling him. He looked up at you with wide eyes, fear in them. 

“You go to the big city. I'll stay here - finish school, visit when I can. You focus on your dream, just call and check in every once and a while so I know you're okay.” You weren’t sure if you were trying to talk him down or yourself - maybe both.

“You're not upset?”

A soft expression relaxed over your features and you shook your head. “Why would I be upset? Its true that I'm sad that I can't go with you. But this is also bigger than both of us. This is something that you've been dreaming about since we were eleven. Ever since Kid brought it up when we were eleven.” Both of you smiled fondly at the memory.

“Well, actually. My dream is to marry you but yeah.”

You snorted, kissing him softly. He was such a goober and you loved him so much. “That one’s already a given and in the bag. Might as well get this one too, yeah?”

“I'm not sure what I'm gonna do when I don't get to see your face every morning when I wake up.” He pouted. You weren’t sure what you were going to do either. You already knew you weren’t going to be sleeping much without him.

You chuckled, resting your foreheads together. “I'm only one facetime away.” Again, you weren’t sure if you were trying to convince him it was going to be okay or yourself.

“That's true but we’ll be in different time zones and different schedules and I’m just afraid that we won't be able to talk as much as i want to.” He frowned. You knew he didn’t really mean ‘talk’. You knew damn well that he’d face time you and you both would just sit in silence. Again, just simply existing near each other was enough for you.

“Texting is a thing you know.” You grinned at him. Neither of you were worried about the other cheating or the distance being too much to lead to a break up or finding other people. The two of you knew you were meant to be together and there was comfort in that fact. 

It was just going to suck to not be able to talk and see each other every single day. 

“We'll make it work. Then I'll graduate and move out there. You'll be a famous rockstar. We’ll have our dream wedding. Then live happily ever after.” You nodded, your smile widening. Nothing was going to stop your dreams. You were going to make sure of that. You were almost done with school anyway. It was your last semester - you were in the home stretch. You just needed to stick it out for a few months and then you’d be able to do whatever you wanted.

Killer smiled up at you. He already seemed to have calmed down for the most part. You’d never seen him so worried before. “You’re right. I'm just going to miss you so much.” His grip tightened around you. 

“When do you have to leave?”

“Next week.” You paled, eyes widening. That fast? You supposed that the label company probably wanted to start making money off of them as soon as possible. Still, you thought you’d have more time than barely a week.

You pushed all that aside. “Then we better make every second count then.” You kissed him hard, tugging his hair slightly to make him groan against you as you made your own intentions clear. You were going to pick up where you left off in the theater.

You were going to make sure he remembered tonight.

next

[collabwithmyself]

More Pikmin AU writing yahoo!

Maybe fifteen minutes later, Hito finally shoves open the escape hatch. He gets a glimpse of greenery before overbalancing and toppling out onto the soil.

The tumble doesn't do his aching body any favors. His head spins, and his mouth starts to water like he might get sick. Dirt crunches beneath his body as he rolls over, looking up at the sky and what's left of his ship.

It's smoking and seared, looking like a skeletal parody of its former self. It's a miracle it's even partway recognizable. Hito cringes.

According to the pack attached to the back of his suit, he's got thirty days' worth of battery before it stops filtering the air for him. One month to put his ship back together enough to send a distress signal, or better yet, take off entirely.

It feels horrifically daunting. Even thinking about it intensifies his nausea. He has no idea where to even start looking, let alone how he'll get any of that heavy machinery back to the ship...

But he can't just give up. If he dies alone here, with no one having any idea where he went, then... that means...

...

Hito grits his teeth, digs his fingers into the earth, and gets up.

Gravity weighs heavily on him here. He doesn't think it's safe to even jump, with the state of his sore body right now. It's with agonizing slowness that he plods forward, squinting into the wilderness.

The flora here is... huge. Mere blades of grass tower over him. He can make out flowers thrice his height, not far off. It makes him feel like he's found himself the size of a bug in his own backyard. It's not a comforting notion.

His steps are hesitant as he gazes around, pointed ears pricked for sounds. If the plants here are this big, the animals aren't something he wants to run into.

He's so busy looking up, he doesn't notice the object half-buried in front of him. Well, not until it erupts violently from the earth, spraying dirt every which way and pulling a shriek from Hito's throat. He stumbles back and flings his arms over his face as long limbs snake out, jabbing into the dirt on either side of him.

...then it goes still. Hito hesitates, and slowly raises his head.

Above him is a plantlike contraption the size of his body. The shape and bright red shade make him think of an onion. Three green stalks suspend it in the air, several units above his head.

It jolts, and Hito yelps, stumbling back several paces. He gets a glimpse of white petals on top of the onion as they curl inwards- then they spit something into the air.

He watches the object descend to the ground and bury itself in the dirt. His gaze flicks between the onion and its spawn, and he startles a third time when said spawn abruptly sprouts.

The leaf is maybe the size of his hand, swaying gently in the breeze as though beckoning him forward. Hito, frankly, has no idea what to do with it. Should he take a closer look? Is it bait so the onion can eat him? He's wasting daylight, deliberating over this...

Curiosity wins out over self preservation. Hito creeps closer to the onion and the sprout, muscles tensed and eyes wide. When the great structure doesn't move again, he kneels to examine its creation.

The leaf is startlingly warm when he reaches for it, radiating heat like a fire that he can feel even through his glove. He hesitates, but presses a hand against it.

It twitches. Like it's alive. Hito jerks his arm away with a gasp.

But nothing crawls out of the dirt towards him. The sprout remains where it is.

He reaches out a second time, for the stem. The plant twitches again, like it's nudging itself into his touch. His fingers curl around it.

Then, gently, he pulls.

The earth parts around the sprout, revealing a bulb the same color as the onion above him. It's got a sharp protrusion, and he moves his arm so it doesn't slice his suit open-

Just above it, two little eyes crack open and blink at him.

Hito blinks back.

"Um," he says.

The sprout squeaks at him.

It doesn't... seem to be trying to bite him, or wriggling out of the dirt to claw at him. So after a moment's hesitation, he keeps pulling.

The dirt parts around spindly little arms, a thick torso, and squat legs- then he's got a full creature dangling from his hands, looking remarkably like a red carrot with a nose. It doesn't fight him at all, dangling placidly from his grasp.

"...good afternoon?" Hito tries.

"Ihwo!" the sprout squeaks back.

He sets it on his feet, then grunts as he straightens up. The creature watches him curiously, its stem flopping over to hang behind it.

"Right, um..." Hito feels the urge to wring his hands, and instead folds his arms to trap his fingers under his armpits.

The sprout tilts its head. "Haa?"

"It's... nice to meet you? But uh, ha, I'm... kinda busy right now," Hito chuckles nervously. "So... I gotta go. Haha."

"Ih."

So Hito turns to examine the area, figuring the creature will just... wander off. Just grass and rocks, and the smoldering remains of his ship...

...wait. There's smoke trailing from just over the stone ledges walling him in. Could that be...?

His gaze roves over the clearing, searching for some spot he can climb over. But the only break in the stone is shielded by a giant wall of... something.

He heads over to it, testing its strength. Though the wall towers over him, when he scrapes his fingertips against it, it lets out the unmistakable hiss of a cardboard surface.

Is this a box? It's got a little give when Hito throws a shoulder up against it, but there's no way he's moving it alone. He'd need the strength of ten men.

"Huh?"

Hito swears and whirls around. The sprout has followed him like a puppy, standing at attention a couple paces behind him.

"Stars, bud," he sighs, "don't scare me like that. What's up, huh?"

The creature glances back towards the onion, which has remained still, looming over the clearing.

"...you need something?" Hito prompts. When the creature doesn't reply, he starts walking back towards the structure, and the flowers surrounding it. The sprout trails along eagerly behind him.

The onion doesn't respond when he places a hand on one of its legs. And there's no way he's climbing up to its main structure.

"There more of you guys in there?" Hito asks the creature at his heels. "Ha, maybe they can help me move that box."

"Unh," the sprout replies.

"Right," he says, as though that made any sense.

He gets bolder with his attempts to jostle the onion into releasing another seed. The sprout watches with what he suspects is amusement as he tries to shove at the support legs.

"Come on, please," he grumbles, "just gimme something to work with--!"

One frustrated kick has him hopping backwards in pain, and he falls back against the stem of one of the flowers blooming above him. The petals rustle, then--

Hito yelps as something thuds into the dirt right in front of him. It's like a giant seed. Did that come from the flower...?

Before he can get up to examine it, though, the sprout darts towards it, seizing it and starting to drag it towards the onion with little high-pitched grunts. Hito watches it work in bewilderment- it's a startling change from following him around.

As it drags the seed beneath the onion... a light shines down like a tractor beam. In an instant, the seed is sucked up, and Hito looks up as the onion's petals finally curl again. It spits out one leaf, then another, and he watches the sprouts float down to plant themselves.

"...huh," he says.

Somewhere in the very back of Hito's mind, a plan begins to form.

[the1975attheirverybest]

Hi lovely just been checking up with your blog and earlier you asked about the ideas for one little scene moments ( btw I loved the one you posted, what I love about your writing is how detailed you are I can see that and feel it in my head love you so much for that seriously ) so I love angst (i'm sorry ) so wanted to send you this. Girl/reader is being done with Matty's unwillingness to understand her pov during a fight and is out of words, gives up and agrees with him without any emotions and this is where it hits him. He then tries to show her he does get it which is hard bc she gave up. i Hope it makes sense sorry that might be a complicated

Omg this is so so so sweettt???? 🥹💗💗💗 and it makes me happy to hear that cuz I often feel like I’m better at writing dialogue than I am at scene-setting, plot, emotions, etc. and it bugs me sometimes hahaha. So this means a lot to me for real 💗💗

anyways, I THINK, I know what you mean. Let me know if this is not it. I’ll be happy to give it a second shot.

———

“I just don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect my girlfriend to be on my fuckin side.” Matty huffed, the heat of the argument making his skin feel too warm for him. He looked down at the marble of kitchen island as he sat at the barstool, pushing his half empty cigarette packet around with his finger, and watching it slide from one side to the other. his knees began to bounce as soon as he sat down, the nervous energy flowing through him, but he did his best to avoid looking into her eyes.

“I’m just pointing out that irony has its limits. I’m not saying abandon the entire show-“

“No, not at all. but you ARE saying you wouldn’t enjoy seeing it.” His lips moved before his brain could think, still addressing the sliding cigarette packet, he spoke with a clenched jaw. “‘So, how’s the new tour Matty? Seen the reviews, it looks great!’ ‘Yeah, yeah, thanks, mate. My girlfriend hates it, but hey, at least Rolling Stone thought it was alright.’” She shook her head in disbelief, walking around the kitchen island and towards the fridge to pour herself a glass of water.

“I am, and always will be, you’re biggest fan and you know it.” She grabbed an empty glass off the dish rack, pulling the fridge door open with her free hand.

“Didn’t sound like a fan when Brad asked you what you thought. Sounded like a- a- Twitter troll.”

in the silence, Matty could hear the gulping sound of the water pouring down her throat. She set the now empty glass of water on the marble counter, inches away from his cigarette packet.

In a calmer, more composed tone, she restated the point that she felt she’d been making all day. “I merely pointed out that, as it stands right now, the show feels like it’s more of the same thing. And that if your goal is change, evolution, a female perspective on this whole question of masculinity wouldn’t hurt”

“But that’s the fuckin point!” Finally, the frustration feeling bigger and stronger than his body, Matty stood up, sighing loudly and pulling at his own hair. “To take the thing to his absurdist limit such that it becomes a parody of itself. Besides I refuse to participate in the false dichotomy of male versus female. To fix one you must become more like the other? What kind of bullshit artist do you think I am?”

He finally picked up the cigarette packet and lit one, taking a drag that forced him to stop and breathe in for a moment.

her lips parted, instantly, ready for the rebuttal. Ready to explain to him, for the hundredth time in the past hour, that she wasn’t suggesting what he thinks. That she wanted him to try harder to practice all the things that he theorizes. To ask himself what he’d feel if he were to be vulnerable, without the safety net of a joke, or an act, to fall back on. But as she prepared her next argument, running through her thoughts before she spoke them, the feeling of defeat overwhelmed her. She’s been at this a while. Trying to explain what she meant in different ways. Some gentler, more indirect, leaving it up to Matty to draw his own conclusions, others louder, more blunt, unequivocally disagreeing with him. But Matty was so trapped in his own vision to step outside of himself and entertain an alternative. She took a deep breath, squeezing her lips shut. Then, she exhaled, looking at Matty as his fingers nervously tapped against the marble surface. “okay.” She said simply. “I get it.”

Matty blew the smoke up towards the ceiling. “I’m just saying” he spoke authoritatively, like a lecturer clarifying complex concepts to a room full of novice students. “I know what I’m doing. And I wish I could the sense that you believed in this thing as much as I do.” He finally turned to meet her eyes.

“I do. I believe in it.”

“I trust the audience. They’ll get it. I don’t think they’ll think it’s the same show all over again.” He was doubling down, but the more he spoke, the more he seemed to doubt his own words.

“yeah, you’re right. I think they’ll get it.”

she walked in a semi-circle, around Matty’s body, retrieving her empty glass. It still held on to some of the coolness from the water that had left it. She set the glass down in the sink, turning on her heels and walking out of the kitchen without sparing him a second glance.

she felt foolish that this had even turned into an argument. She was certain that normal couple had communication issues, or argued about whose family they should spend the holidays with or whose turn it is to do certain chores, not, the limits of irony is performance art or Matty’s fear of and simultaneous desire for sincere self expression. The thing is, she knew that to their relationship, this is a communication issue. It was important to Matty that she be a fan of his artistic choices because his work is who he is. She often looked at what he did and saw him. Saw the way his mind works, how he feels about important parts of his life, what he’s proud of, what he’s afraid of, what he loves or hates, what he wants to change. She got to know him this way. To her, his inability to concede to her judgment wasn’t just a difference in aesthetic theory, it was an unwillingness to relinquish control over the argument. He wasn’t even trying to put himself in her shoes and see things her way. he felt attacked by her criticism of something that came directly from the depths of his mind and heart, and his response what to push back. She’s been lost in thought, so she had no idea when Matty had appeared in the living room doorway. His head cocked to the side, his gaze downcast. “Do- do you really think there isn’t enough honesty in the new show?” His tone was inquisitive now rather than accusatory. hesitantly, he walked towards her on the couch, one step at a time.

“the shows fine, Matty.” She looked right through him, at the wall behind him.

“it’s important to me that you like it.”

“I do. I like it.”

matty clicked his tongue. “Please, don’t be like that.”

She looked directly into his eyes, this time, and he could see her anger. “Like what, Matty? Supportive! I thought that’s all you wanted from your girlfriend. Well, here I am. Being supportive.”

He stopped inches away from her, dropping to his knees and hopping to be at eye level with her waist. He placed his hands into her lap, palms down, gripping the tops of her legs desperately. “I want- I need to - need you to be proud of me.” He rested his head against her knees, begging for physical intimacy to bridge the emotional gap that had formed like a chasm between them.

reluctantly, her hands found their way to his hair, caressing it lightly, a sign of compromise. Meeting in the middle. “I do want you to be supportive.” He spoke into her legs. “I’m being supportive. I’ll be supportive.”

He shook his head, his curls moving around her fingers. “No, not like that. I think- I think you were being supportive before. By pushing me to be better. I don’t want a cheerleader, I want you.” hid hand reached over his head and grabbed her wrist. “I love when you argue with me. Please never stop arguing with me.” Pulling his head off of her, he leaned over and kissed her hands. “Please promise me?”

[tasteless-lemonade]

Now I want to hear about your favourite X-Men stories, arcs or issues!!!!

In all the confusing reading I've done, still with a lot of things missing, I love a lot of X-Men stories. Out of all of these, the one I feel like I can really say "Yes, this is my favorite X-Men story ever" and I don't think I would change my opinion even reading the stories I haven't read yet, is "God Loves, Man Kills".

Both as a fan reading one of the most classic stories of the X-Men (everytime I reread it I still feel like I'm pointing at the TV when I see that one panel) and in a more personal sense of how a story about religious fanaticism resonated with my life surrounded by various facets of religion. It is realistic and portrays prejudice in such a raw way, even in its mistakes. For me, it's THE X-Men story.

Others that I have to mention

Dark Phoenix Saga: Do I really have to explain the Dark Phoenix Saga? The story that changed Jean Grey now and forever in a tale about power, humanity and will? The sacrifice, the choice. Looking at all the power you could ever have and saying "I don't want it."

Archangel Saga: Warren Worthington III, typical good hero with a real good heart, who just wished to fly in peace, is betrayed by a trusted friend, robbed of his greatest happiness and turned into a sick parody of what he once was. It's such a cruel and ugly, but beautiful story about how the Angel falls from the sky.

Lifedeath: The goddess, without powers! The way it depicts Ororo's loss of powers is always a punch in the gut, and the way she keeps on thriving without it, keeps on being leader os the X-Men? Unmatched. It's still a story I read when I need strength to keep going

Hox/Pox: I would say "This is not a classic as the other ones" but this is a modern classic. The reinvention of the X-Men for the Krakoa era, for a new life and a new dawn really makes this memorable.

Now, one that's not a whole story and not as famous, All-New Wolverine #17 & #18. The arc, the conclusion. #17 has a great paralell between Laura and Pinocchio about lies and wanting to be a real boy, and #18 has the final fight of Laura and Kimura. I should stop having that 8th grade shame and just admit I have a unhealthy love for ANW

It's both a Laura reclaiming her identity as her own woman and a legacy moment, as Logan was tortured and brainwashed into a living weapon, and when he started to break free of Weapon X, he used the name Wolverine and it became a sign of his autonomy, and when Laura is facing the woman that tortured and brainwashed her into a weapon, ending her abuse once for all, she says "I'M WOLVERINE" as the sign of her autonomy.

[fluffypotatey]

OK SO! the tommyinnit 101. technically this isn't really tied to an smp though.

so first we must start at the very beginning. the dream smp. in late 2020-early 2021, the dream smp was at the height of its popularity, and tommyinnit played one of its most prominent characters (tommy, henceforth referred to as c!tommy). now the thing about c!tommy is that both he and cc!tommy (idk if i've talked about the c! vs cc! divide before but that is its own 101) were under 18 at the time, and therefore if you shipped his character with anyone about 70% of the fandom would tear you apart.

honestly dsmp isn't too relevant here, though, except to introduce tommy and tubbo. you see, in a world of straight men using their little block guys to flirt with one another, tommy was Very vocal about loving women. being Straight was part of his Bit in the same way that being Annoying and playing the able sisters music from animal crossing was.

anyways in late 2022 he uploaded a vlog of him and tubbo getting married, tubbo mostly against his will. they pulled out all the stops- got an ordained minister (their friend scott, who you may recognize from the life series 101s) to do a little ceremony, had a lot of their friends acting as different members of the wedding party, even signed and filed real paperwork!

yep. that's right. they signed legal fucking paperwork. i've heard that tubbo didn't even know it was a marriage certificate, he thought it was a waiver for being in the video or smth. that's right, known straight man tommyinnit tricked his best friend into getting Real Life Legally Married to him, presumably just for shits and giggles.

This fact went unnoticed until mid-late 2023. tubbo was playing on the QSMP with some other people (i know FitMC, not sure who else), and was joking about going to Vegas and getting married to Fit. and then tubbo realized he was still married to tommy.

also, around that time, tommy wrote and published (to wattpad) a rpf crack fic called Tommy x Tubbo Love Triangle, where tommy leaves his Real Life Girlfriend molly for tubbo (molly dies directly afterwards because it was so romantic) and then he and tubbo kiss without tongue. tubbo was not consulted during the production of this fanfiction.

after learning about the marriage, tubbo started working to get a Real Life Divorce from his Real Life Friend Tom. tommy refused to sign the paperwork. if any of this ever goes to court tubbo fully intends to livestream the whole thing.

around 2 months ago, tommy did a parody of "I'm Just Ken" called "I'm Just Tom," in which he begs tubbo not to divorce him. it must be seen to be believed. idk if the link will work in an ask but i need you to see it https://youtu.be/laAPXcxjDlI?si=wPQM3ZJHBIv11Cfr

also if you're wondering how molly, tommy's Real Life Girlfriend, feels about all of this? she thinks it's hilarious. for the past month or two-ish (?), tommy's been doing a stand-up comedy tour in america (because they are all british), and at the same time tubbo's been doing a subathon (aka tubbathon bc it's tubbo) (a subathon is a twitch stream with a timer on it. the stream ends when the timer finishes out, and whenever someone subscribes to the streamer's channel more time is added) (the tubbathon is still going btw and isn't slowing down anytime soon). at one point molly came onto the tubbathon, and tubbo bought her a new phone bc hers was shit. (directly afterwards tommy posted a vlog about it, saying he felt like he was being cucked by his gay husband)

fans have dubbed these three the nightmare polycule, and it's not hard to see why.

and then, finally, this morning (last night in england time), tommy and tubbo were on a phone call. tubbo (gay) encouraged tommy to "say the f slur!" and tommy said, and i quote, "I'm bicurious, so I guess I could say like a fifth of it. [Tochat] Hear that, ya -ggots?"

i needed to tell you all of this so that you would understand the full insanity of all of this. there are some bits that don't really translate unless you were a dsmp fan in the 2020-2021 era, but i need you to see the ongoing insanity this man creates. he had been planning to use that joke for his live comedy show

ok uh

wow

i some pointers on his singing voice (a bit too belty there, that'll damage the throat later, some vowels need rounding)

hilarious that he rhymed Tom with arm

reading this was like a fever dream

molly is me tbh this is the most hilarious drama i have ever read

his comedic timing is beautiful

what the fuck

[formosusiniquis]

Water is wet, the sky is blue, and Eddie Munson is a music snob.

Sure, he listens to more music than Steve even knew existed. Sure, he can curate a playlist that gets you from Korn to Disney without it feeling jarring. Sure, he can give you a full college quality lecture on the history of modern rock and metal and how it can all be traced back to the blues.

But he’s also the same guy who brutally eviscerates anything that even approaches popularity. He’s watched Eddie drop bands the second their music starts making radio play because it’s a short trip to an album that’s been engineered in a lab for maximum radio play.

An educated music snob is still a snob is the point.

But the rest of their friend group is also a collection of snobs and bitches, so when Eddie suggested they do a Spotify Wrapped viewing party it quickly became an annual tradition. They all make sure they have the night off when the Wrapped drops, meeting up at Steve’s house where they spend the night stuffing their faces and roasting each other for the music that made up their soundtrack to the year.

Eddie the Snobbish is of course the most vocal critic.

“Girl in Red, Buckley, really? There is such a thing as leaning too far into the stereotype.”

“Get fucked, Munson, they’re my number five.”

“And your number two is Hayley Kiyoko, but she’s actually good so I kept her out of it. Honestly, it’d be faster to just shout from the rooftops that you’re queer.”

“Yeah, yeah, wait ‘til we get to you, Eddie.”

“I drew 7 so you’ll have to wait a little bit longer.

It goes like that all night. Eddie makes at least one comment about each person’s wrapped as the night goes on. But then everyone takes at least one crack at the others. From listen time to top genres nothing is safe and nothing is sacred. Sometimes the only comment needed is the sounds of nine other people shrieking in laughter because Accidentally in Love from the Shrek 2 soundtrack cracked your top 5.

“Seriously, Sinclair, the rest of it is so good!”

“I refuse to be critiqued by the same man I caught singing Nickelback last week.”

“Damn, seeing the family resemblance between you and Lady Applejack now.”

Sometimes his mockery is flavored like concern.

“William, the top .05% of Mitski listeners? Do you need help? Should we call your mom? This feels like a cry for help.”

“She’s classically trained, musically a genius. Sorry, we can’t all spend our time listening to Ozzy struggle through a basic melody.”

And Eddie isn’t afraid to get other people in on his snobbery.

“Ten bucks, Stevie, your little Dusty has Weird Al in his top 5.”

“I don’t make bets, I know I’m going to lose. That’d be like saying ‘I bet he’s going to have Neverending Story in his top 5’, it’s practically guaranteed.”

Robin’s not as afraid to get involved, “Five bucks, Neverending Story is his number 1.”

“Oh you’re on, Bucks, no way it’s not a parody.”

They’re both wrong, deciding that neither is out the money, and Steve wishing he had gone ahead and bet when it turns out to be a movie instrumental. “He can’t listen to music with words when he’s building shit, and he’s always tinkering with something in his room.”

“It was from the Neverending Story soundtrack, I still think that means I win.”

“Absolutely not.”

It’s always a big moment when it’s finally Eddie’s turn, he’s the whole reason they had to start drawing their places at random. He spends so much time talking shit about everyone else’s music taste that by the time his turn rolls around half the group is ravenous, a pack of feral dogs snarling at a feast before them,  ready to give him a taste of his own medicine.

The earliest bits are the most boring. The strange emotion tags are always a little jarring, though no one is surprised when spooky makes its way onto Eddie’s. It’s a little concerning just how much time Eddie is clocking on Spotify, “Over 40,000 minutes, Eddie, that’s almost an entire month.”

“How come your math is never that quick when you’re adding up your damage, Henderson?”

And then Spotify helpfully announces that Eddie Munson's most played song of the year is Head Over Heels by Tears for fucking Fears, clocking in at 267 plays. 

It could go without saying that all hell then breaks loose, but then not saying it makes it sound like a regular amount of hell is breaking loose. And not the kind of hell that can only come from a room full of people who show their affection through ruthless teasing and mockery finding a massive hole in the armor of someone who had spent most of their friendship unassailable.

It’s mean. It’s targeted. It’s the standard brand of teasing that this group is built on.

It would be a lot funnier if Eddie, someone who is normally pretty good about taking the same kind of shit that he deals out, didn’t look like he wanted the floor to swallow him up.

The jokes all reach a logical end. The kids have a killer’s instinct when it comes to weakness, but they’re soft where it counts, and there’s not a joke in the world that’s still funny when it’s being laughed at instead of with.

And Steve, normally the first to tease Eddie about his dad rock playlist can’t think of a single thing to say that isn’t going to come out, “Why was your day with the most listens right after the weekend trip we took for my birthday?”

That wasn’t going to be, “Do you want this the way that I do?”

The rest of the reveal is standard, nearly 19 hours of playtime does put Tears for Fears in the 5th spot of Eddie’s Top Artists but no one comments on it. Steve doesn’t even make fun of Eddie for being the only person under 40 to still listen to Metallica.

Because he’s finally found something to say that isn’t going to come out, “Do you know someone else who only listens to new wave or do listen to that song and think about me?”

“I’m going next.” Eddie finally, finally, makes eye contact with him instead of staring out into the middle distance. Maybe his announcement does sound more like, ‘let me say it back.’

“Steve, you drew last. Nancy’s next.”

Nancy, who knows him uniquely. Knows him in a way that no one, except maybe Eddie one day, ever will. Nancy cuts through the bullshit decisively. “Steve can go next.”

“No appreciation for the rules, why do we even have them?”

Steve does not give a single shit about his wrapped outside of it being a source of amusement for his friends. His taste in music is as close to nonexistent as it gets and, really, if he’s going to listen to something he’s probably going to pick a book over music if he’s by himself.

Except this year.

The teasing is a little tamer now. Normally, Steve is happy to take the brunt of it. 

From Eddie picking at his lack of taste. “Pick a genre, Steve, god.” 

To the kids joining in because they want to impress Eddie, “Can you even listen to the playlist without getting whiplash? I Will Survive to Part of Your World, jeez.” Nevermind that they’re both basically power ballads, and Wheeler can mock but I Will Survive was the soundtrack to his break up with Nance and sometimes he wants to be both nostalgic and angry-sad. 

This year is quiet, like they’re worried they went too far with Eddie and now they’re afraid to take shots at their other favorite babysitter.

It’s fine. Steve has pretty much unfailingly had one song playing at any point anymore. Maybe it took him a little longer than April, but he knows without a doubt what his top song of the year is going to be.

Eddie takes the armchair for Wrapped nights, he’s the meanest normally and says he wants to be out of the direct line of fire of any noogies or Robin’s lethal elbows. It means Steve has to reach to kick the side of the chair to make sure Eddie is watching.

Rainbow in the Dark was Steve’s number one song this year with 171 plays.

And maybe it would be appropriate to say that all hell breaks loose once again. Steve wouldn’t really know, too busy staring at Eddie. He’s in the eye of the storm now, while chaos breaks out around him Steve can only wait to see how Eddie reacts.

Wonders if that pink blush is because Eddie realizes that the day he repeated it the most was right after he heard Eddie play it for the first time. Fell asleep to it playing on repeat, thinking about Eddie’s fingers and Eddie’s smile, drowning out the sounds of fireworks that still trigger panic.

"It makes me think of you," Eddie, brave and shy and only hiding part of his face behind his hair, answers the only question Steve needed answered.

"Yeah," he agrees, hoping it sounds less like a breathless demand for reassurance and more like, 'listening to this song all year was the closest I could get to imagining what it could be like having you.'

"Yeah." And Steve hears, 'I  still expect to be wined and dined, Harrington.' Maybe because it's the kind of silly request Eddie would make, or maybe he just likes giving the people he cares about everything he can.

"But seriously, Stevie, why the fuck is Careless Whisper in your top 5? It should be a crime for Dio and George Michael to be that close together."

[olddirtybadfic]

Your Narf is My Drug

The mice have driven me so insane, I wrote a fic with a Kesha parody about it.

It's to the tune of "Your Love is My Drug."

-O-o-O-o-O-

(Brain sits amidst the smoking debris of his latest plan.)

Brain: This is a hot mess we’ve gotten into.

Pinky: (sing-songily) Look at all the shinies! (tosses broken pieces into the air and hops around underneath them as they fall on his head) Zounds, Brain! I caught them all! (laughs hysterically)

Brain: (glares, folds arms) Speaking of hot messes….

(Brain’s vision suddenly turns to slow-motion. He takes in the gliding of Pinky’s supple limbs, Pinky’s lithesome hips swirling like the spirals of Brain’s hypnosis machines. The wreckage rain reflects the light in such a way that Pinky glows to rival the Pleiades.)

Brain: Emphasis on hot….Egad, what am I thinking?! This is preposterous! This is absurd! This is….

(He clutches at his head, as if that would quell the desire flaring up like so many bunsen burners. He finally breaks down at the pile of smashed electronics.)

Brain: Will you never cease that infernal buzzing?! (pounds wickle mousey fists on table)

(The rhythmic buzzing from the broken contraption starts to arrange itself into a poppy synth bassline. The pounding of Brain’s fists on the table provides the beat.)

(First verse) Brain: I feel like Captain Ahab; I’m too sunken in the deep. Emotional repression Is losing me all my sleep.

There’s no time to dilly-dally; My world domination calls. I’m stuck with this dishy dope and Hearing him spew his spurtive squalls!

(Pre-chorus) Our two fates are intertwined; What far-off planets have aligned? This novel factor’s undefined. I can’t get Pinky off my mind!

(Chorus) His narf, his narf, his narf Stole my heart. His narf, his narf, his narf. I say, his narf, his narf, his narf Stole my heart. His narf, his narf, his narf.

(Second verse) His cranium’s harder than gneiss; I’m telling him everything thrice. My mind and heart in vises: I can chart this diacrisis.

I can’t resist his whimsy. All my defenses, flimsy. My schemes will surely be impacted If I go on being so damn distracted!

(Pre-chorus) Our two fates are intertwined; What far-off planets have aligned? This sequence is not my design. I can’t get Pinky off my mind!

(Chorus) His narf, his narf, his narf Stole my heart. His narf, his narf, his narf. I say, his narf, his narf, his narf Stole my heart. His narf, his narf, his narf.

(Bridge) I must fight to gain control, But every hour takes its toll. I try so hard to keep my cool But still I fall for this fine fool!

(Pinky comes in, twirling glow sticks. He has painted geometric shapes on himself with non-toxic mouse safe glow-in-the-dark body paint. When he turns around, Brain can see that Pinky has somehow painted a neon yellow line down his own back, ending in a neon pink heart over his butt.)

Pinky: Braaiiiin~ Just a suggestion…. Why don’t we have a bath in some warm salad dressing? Does that sound like some silly-willy fun-fun? Is my fjord your drug? POIT! Your drug? ZORT! Your drug? NARF! Your drug? Is my—FJORD!—your drug?

Brain: No! Pinky, you’ll get us copyright-stricken!

(Chorus) Oh, Brain! My narf, my narf, my narf Stole your heart! My narf, my narf, my narf! You said my narf, my narf, my narf Stole your heart! My narf, my narf, my narf!

You said my zort, my zort, my zort Is your drug! My zort, my zort, my zort! You said my zort, my zort, my zort Is your drug! My zort, my zort, my zort!

(The buzzing synth line stops.)

Braaiiiiin~ Brainy-cakes… (flirty giggle) Sooooo… (delirious laughter) My narf, my narf, my narf, my narf, is your drug. I like your tail.

(A giant “DMCA” falls on Brain’s head. He crawls out from underneath it, looking especially worse for wear.)

Brain: I suspect this comedown will be particularly hard.

-O-o-O-o-O-

The abyss is quite inviting if you gaze long enough.

[goombasa]

I Played the Funny Pizza Game Again

So, the last time I posted about Pizza Tower, I had played through the Peppino side of things and the Noise update was still brand, brand new. That and, while I was really enjoying the game, beating the first campaign was pretty exhausting, and so I took a quick break before going back to it and trying out the brand new character.

And boy was it an experience.

The Noise update allows you to play through the game as one of the game's bosses, naimly the Noise, a parody of the old, somewhat infamous Domino's mascot, the Noid. Now, generally when you have multiple playable characters in a platformer, each of them have their own gimmick or a special movement ability, but the game inherently doesn't change a huge amount. Think about Luigi's loose physics in several of the Mario games, or playing as Knuckles, Tails, or Amy in Sonic games; The gameplay is still largely the same, but the unique abilities of a character can lead to some minor changes as you run through the stages and utilizing their special gimmicks.

Then, there are games like Shovel Knight, where every one of its characters change the game so much in what they can do that the level design itself is heavily altered to suit the character you're playing as.

The Noise situation is mostly like the former, with a few shreds of the latter. The Noise plays very differently from Peppino in terms of his traversal options and how he interacts with stage gimmicks and powerups, but with some very minor, specific tweaks to some specific places in a few stages. In general, the Noise is far, far faster and carries a lot more momentum in his jumping than Peppino did, which can make precise and sudden movements a lot harder to handle. He also has a more powerful slam attack, a jetpack, and rather than running up walls, he bounces up the walls, with diminishing returns with each bounce.

The boss fights are also different, as Noise doesn't grab or slam his enemies, instead throwing bombs at his opponents. The differences are vast, to the point where anyone going in expecting a similar experience to playing as Peppino is not going to have the best time. You really have to wipe that muscle memory and be willing to learn the game again from scratch to effectively use the Noise, and it makes the game feel like an entirely different beast. Still fun, but definitely something that takes some getting used to if you've already played through the game once before. But once you do get the handle on it, it does feel great to speed around as the Noise.  I personally still prefer playing the game as Peppino just because I find his moveset a lot easier to handle, but the skill ceiling as the Noise is far, far higher and I can see him being the preferred method for people who REALLY want to see how fast they can complete this game.

And all the little differences and jokes put into the presentation are fantastic, from Noise flat out ignoring certain obstacles, to changing elements of a stage to suit his needs, to treating the final boss fight more as a game, one that he's getting very bored with at that point. While Peppino always looks like he's one bad day away from just breaking down entirely, the Noise is just having the time of his life running through each stage, and at worse just gets annoyed whenever something stands in his way. It's a great way to make the characters distinct without having to alter too much of what's already there in the stages.

Also, the gag of the Noise just slapping stickers of his face (each one in a different art style) over the pre-existing artwork for the opening of the level is just top notch.

While it is possible to play the game as the Noise right from the get-go, I would recommend playing through it as Peppino first, as the Noise's higher skill floor really benefits from at least some passing familiarity with the game first, even if they're very different. It isn't often that a game can make itself feel so different and yet still feel so fun, but Pizza Tower manages it. I said it before, and I'll say it again, I'm very excited to see if anything more will be coming out of Tour de Pizza in the future.