#thinking about fucking that war criminal again

[strawberriesforcait]

No because Padmé was crazy for not kissing this man every time she saw him I would have made out with him every time

[cultist-bones]

The best part about the GE fandom is that everyone knows who everyone else is. It's like a little homestead, where once every week or so we build a bonfire and tell stories about our blorbos.

[autisticshadowthehedgehog]

sonic the hedgehog tumblr dashboard simulator

0 notes

💠 extremegayr Follow

got held up in traffic today cause some noob couldnt drive the fucking loop-de-loop. lmfao fucking coward

15 notes

🎛 420zone Follow

ok but robotnik's kind of a dilf tho

🌫 wispgender Follow

he's literally a war criminal can we NOT do this tumblr

🎛 420zone Follow

📰 its-no-use Follow

@wispgender dont u literally simp for nominatus like who is one to talk

🌫 wispgender Follow

NOMINATUS ISN'T REAL????

🛜 viralsensation-destructorofworlds Follow

that you know of

🌫 wispgender Follow

what

10,672 notes

🔷 sonicinthewild

43,834 notes

☣️ lineinthesand Follow

saw sonic the hedgehog irl once. he showed up at my village, released 30 feral pickys in the town hall, paid the ice cream vendor roughly a thousand rings for a single chili dog, told me not to waste my life worrying about the little things, and then caused a fucking tornado

🧿 spiralhillspindash Follow

ok and??? you're not special

☣️ lineinthesand Follow

THIS WAS A PERSONAL POST GO AWAAAAY

173 notes

🌠 chaoinspace2electricboogaloo

sucks that sticks the badger hates all technology you know she would do NUMBERS on here

568 notes

☸️ r0u3e Follow

being an islander be like "are those the kind of eggsplosions i should worry about or the kind of eggsplosions that are gonna repair our crops, fix the economy, and bring my dead grandma back to life"

🌁 eggpawnkindathicctho Follow

being a continenter be like "oh great what primordial diety has risen from the grave to block traffic and fight a 15yo today"

🥭 chao-official

being a chao be like "chao chao chao chao chao"

🌁 eggpawnkindathicctho Follow

you said it my mans

579,056 notes

🏵 sprinkles-the-chao Follow

hold on if sonic the hedgehog is jewish then how is he santa claus

🤖 e123-omegaverse Follow

dont question him

85,628 notes

☣️ sparkygoboom Follow

hey guys real question are human/mobian relationships problematic

💠 extremegayr Follow

op is about to start the anthro church schism of the fifteenth year all over again

🛞 mobotropolis Follow

ok but in all seriousness did your mom never teach you that part of history

🎢 marxiobros Follow

someone doesn't know about the united federations public school system

🛞 mobotropolis Follow

what the fuck is a public school

⏭️ drowningmusic Follow

⚄ paradoxprism Follow

are we gonna talk about op's chaos radiation fetish

💠 extremegayr Follow

OP'S WHAT NOW

🏞 mobiancrossing Follow

ok but am i the only one who thinks that the public school system would be a good idea if handled right? like i know it's traditional to learn from your parents and then experience the world on our own from the ages of 7-13 but like combining all our knowledge and learning together doesnt seem like a bad idea

☠️ fabian-vane-number-1-hater Follow

bitch that's what the internet is for

🌅 s0leanna-apple-barrell

yeah where else am i gonna learn to make infinite chaos emeralds

❇️ freesurge Follow

"infinite chaos emeralds" that's called the phantom ruby

🏳️‍🌈 rainbowwispforgayrights Follow

everybody on this site has brain damage

❇️ freesurge Follow

yeah. from the radiation

603,573 notes

🐸 froggysfriend

caught this today

🏝 digginginthegroundfortubers

if anything happens to this blog i genuinely hope eggman blows us all up as punishment

950,420 notes

🐊 teamchaotixofficial

Hey guys! Sorry to do this again but rent's a little tight this month :( If we've ever solved a case for you guys or made you guys smile, please consider sending a ko-fi our way! we just need a few rings to get through the month <3

6 notes

🖼 give-the-koco-a-gun Follow

do we ever talk about that time the sky turned blood-red and shadow the hedgehog's demon dad descended from on high to murder us all and we only barely survived

❤️‍🔥 songoose4evr Follow

shadow fixed it it's fine

🎮 n0cturnity

yeah that was like twelve apocalypses ago move on

🎆 robotniksbignaturals Follow

kinda wanted to bang black doom tbh

🖼 give-the-koco-a-gun Follow

THE DEVIL???? FROM THE BIBLE????

🎆 robotniksbignaturals Follow

yeah. move over gayboy i'm boutta be shadow's new dad

856,301 notes

🗑️ berrybarry

starting a conspiracy that time hasnt moved since 2006

🗑️ berrybarry

why the fuck was i shadowbanned after posting this

8 notes

🤡 clownfinite Follow

tfw you finally save up enough rings for ice cream and you go outside and get hit by swatbot pieces and the rings just go fuckin everywhere

587 notes

🔷 sonicinthewild

34,452 notes

🌌 h-o-l-o-l-y-n-x

so did y'all see that genesis wave or was it just me

0 notes

🆙 planetsgiantcrack Follow

the virgin tweeter "if you use a bad word in the same tweet as the word 'cream' you get obliterated off the site" vs this chad site of "i want to put knuckles back in a microwave"

💟 presidentyaoi Follow

BACK????

69,849 notes

⬜️ chao-and-wisps-4-ever-so-cute-2 Follow

ok posting my first fanart to this site pls be nice! <3

2 notes

🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow

why does tails look like he's always about to say "it fucken WIMDY"

🦊 miles-prower-official

Hello, @emeraldfwuitgummy!

I actually quote that image on a constant basis! Sonic thinks it's hilarious every time. He's quite the fan of memes, and it's nice to get a laugh out of him!

Formally,

Dr. Miles "Tails" Prower, PHD

🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow

SO WAS ANYONE GOING TO TELL ME THAT TAILS WAS ON THIS FUCKING SITE OR--

🏅 iwishhumanswerereal Follow

do. do you not know he created tailblr. dude it's in the name lmao

🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow

he

WHAT

🍭 milfwisp Follow

didn't eggman invent this site???

🪫 veganswatbot

THE EGG ABANDONED SCRAMBLR IN ITS TIME OF NEED AND THE FOX RAISED US FROM THE ASHES. YOU WILL NOT DISRESPECT HIM

🦊 miles-prower-official

Hello, @milfwisp and @veganswatbot!

Very good question! This site was Eggman's until I ate his bones. Thank you for engaging! :D

Formally,

Dr. Miles "Tails" Prower, PHD

🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow

YOU

WHAT

🌭 sonicsays

what's not clicking

[gloomwitchwrites]

Thinking about…Biker!141 AU

Biker!Gaz who turned a hobby into a career on social media. Sometimes he’s dishing out advice and general maintenance tips, while the rest of his videos are straight up thirst traps. He might not say it directly, but he adores the attention. All the thirsty comments are the perfect ego boost. But there’s a pattern, a username that keeps cropping up over and over again. It’s not just anyone. It’s his best friend’s ex, a woman he’s been lusting after for years. She’s liking his posts, and leaving filthy comments. This might be his chance.

Biker!Price doesn’t hate much, but he hates it when people owe him money. And your brother is at the top of his list. With a stacked gambling debt, your brother hands you over to Price with the hope that this might erase or lower the debt. Well, tough shit for your brother. Price is keeping you and not erasing one cent of the debt just to shove it in your brother’s face. Yes, you’re his now, and that isn’t going to change, but you’re a sweet thing…and Price intends to make you his.

Biker!Ghost is the odd one out in his small town. Rumor is that he’s a violent man with a long criminal history that ranges from petty theft to murder. No one will actually verify if it’s true, but they all repeat it like it’s the truth. As the newest addition, everyone you come across tells you to stay away from him even though he’s the only car mechanic in town. But when your cheap ass car breaks down, and not a single godly citizen stops to help, it’s Ghost that rolls to a stop. It’s he that offers you a ride home and promises to have it towed to his shop free of charge.

Biker!Soap is about to be handed the keys to a criminal empire. His father’s clock is ticking, but a war between rivals looms on the horizon. With the possibility of a bloody fight ahead, Soap’s father makes a deal with another rival gang. This one has a marriageable daughter around the same age, and Soap is the eligible bachelor. While he’s single, he’s hardly celibate. He rides fast, fucks hard, and hasn’t thought about having a wife at all. But when you arrive, he meets a fiery thing that would rather scratch his face off than sleep with him. Good luck with that, babe. Soap is about to win you over.

[valuehope]

christie and i have agreed that instead of the way post-sdr2/dr3 ended makoto should've just got to have his rep era instead. thank you for your time

[luv-lock]

What's alien reader and conquest's whole dynamic like? What would mark feel about it also your writing is so good!

Their relationship is... confusing.

Conquest didn’t know what hit him.

One second, he was standing there, minding his own murderous business—

And the next?

A glowing, ethereal alien woman was in his face.

Floating. Beautiful. Eyes like galaxies.

And before he could react—

Her hands were on his face.

Soft. Gentle. Like a whisper against his skin.

He froze.

No one had ever touched him like that before.

Like he was fragile. Like he was human.

Then—

She spoke.

Soft. Loving. Creepy as hell.

"Lost," she murmured, tilting her head. "Empty. You are lonely, yes?"

Conquest’s blood ran cold.

"…What?"

She didn’t answer.

Just stroked his scarred face.

Her fingers traced his blind eye.

And suddenly—

Pain.

A deep, aching pain.

And then—

Warmth.

His vision returned.

His eye—

Was healed.

Conquest staggered back, gripping his face.

"You—"

She smiled.

And kissed his forehead.

"You are family now," she whispered.

Conquest had no idea what the fuck was happening.

But for the first time in his long, violent life—

He felt safe.

Conquest is used to fear. He is used to respect.

But love? Kindness?

What the fuck is that?

She doesn’t fear him. At all.

This unnerves him.

He has crushed entire planets. He has slaughtered civilizations.

And yet—

She treats him like a child.

"You are strong, yes," she muses, running her fingers through his wild hair.

"But strength is lonely, no?"

Conquest grits his teeth. He does not want to talk about this.

But she sees through him.

She sees everything.

He tries to push her away. She doesn’t budge.

"You are family now," she insists.

"You are alone. I was alone, too. No more. You are mine."

Conquest short-circuits.

She just declared ownership over him.

And he… doesn’t hate it.

Mark walks in one day to see his alien wife sitting in Conquest’s lap, stroking his hair.

Mark.exe has stopped working.

"What the—WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

She blinks at him. "Hush. Baby need love."

"WHAT."

Conquest just sits there, glaring.

But he’s leaning into her touch.

Mark is losing his goddamn mind.

"HE TRIED TO KILL ME."

"That was then," she hums, pressing a soft kiss to Conquest’s forehead.

"This is now."

She treats him like one of her own.

And honestly?

It’s kind of terrifying.

She pets his head like he’s a dog.

She corrects his posture.

"Sit up straight, little one."

"I WILL KILL YOU—"

"You are slouching."

He immediately fixes it.

She kisses his forehead before he goes to battle.

"Be safe."

"I don’t need—"

She kisses him again.

"Return to me."

Conquest has stopped functioning.

She forces him to eat proper meals.

"Meat. Eat."

"I don’t need—"

She shoves food into his mouth.

Mark physically cannot comprehend this.

His wife just adopted a goddamn war criminal.

The kids love their new ‘Uncle’

Uncle Con.

He hates it.

But the tiny, glowing, fairy-like children do not give a single shit.

They swarm him.

They sit on his shoulders.

They chew on his hair.

They nap on his chest.

"Hhhghh," Conquest grumbles as twelve babies snuggle into his arms.

"Be gentle," she warns, placing another baby in his hands.

He does not move.

He has slaughtered planets, but he is TERRIFIED of dropping this tiny, fragile thing.

The child hugs his finger.

Conquest. Is. Done.

She doesn’t believe in platonic love.

She kisses Conquest freely.

His forehead. His cheek. The corner of his lips.

"You are mine," she reminds him.

"You are family."

Conquest does not know how to process this.

Mark is dying inside.

"What the hell are you two?!" Mark exclaims.

"Are you friends? Are you—are you—WHAT IS THIS?!"

She blinks. "Family."

Mark is losing it.

"THAT DOESN’T ANSWER ANYTHING."

He is jealous as hell.

"WHY DO YOU TREAT HIM LIKE HE’S SPECIAL?!"

"He special."

"I’M YOUR HUSBAND!"

"Yes."

"THEN WHY ARE YOU KISSING HIM?!"

"He family, too."

Mark is physically shaking.

Meanwhile, Conquest thinks this is hilarious.

"What’s wrong, boy? Can’t handle sharing?"

"I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE THROAT, OLD MAN."

"Try it, whelp."

But then—

One of the babies kisses Conquest’s cheek.

And Conquest freezes.

Then he just… melts.

And Mark has to watch, in horror, as Conquest slowly becomes part of their family.

She sleeps on him.

Literally just curls up on his massive chest and purrs like a cat.

She sings to him.

Ancient lullabies in her old language.

It is the only thing that puts him to sleep.

He lets the kids style his hair.

They give him braids.

They put flowers in his mustache.

He acts like he hates it.

But he never takes them out.

Conquest, the most feared warrior in the Viltrum Empire, is now a giant babysitter.

He carries five of them on his shoulders at all times.

They braid his hair.

They make him flower crowns.

Mark walks in one day and—

Mark: stares

Mark: squints

Mark: "Is that… a flower crown?"

Conquest: grunts "It means nothing."

The children: cheer happily in their weird frog-song voices

Her: "It means he is loved."

Conquest: grunts, but his ears are red

The Viltrumites are terrified.

No one knows what to do about this.

Why is Conquest so soft now?

Why does he let her touch him?

Why does he let her KISS HIM?

Why is he babysitting?

WHY IS HE WEARING A FLOWER CROWN?

But if you touch her or Mark? you're dead.

Because as much as she tames Conquest—

She also unleashes him.

Someone insults Mark?

Conquest rips their spine out.

Someone threatens her children?

Conquest goes on a warpath.

Someone disrespects her?

Conquest snaps their neck.

Her: patting his cheek "Good boy."

Conquest: smirks

Mark: horrified "BABE."

Conquest doesn’t talk about his past.

But she knows.

He was made for war.

He was never meant to be anything else.

"You were lost," she murmurs one night, stroking his face.

"So was I."

Conquest swallows. "And now?"

She smiles. "Now, we are found."

He hates how much that means to him.

He hates how much he wants to believe it.

But when her soft lips press against his forehead—

He lets himself believe.

Mark doesn’t understand.

Nobody understands.

But she understands him.

And he understands her.

She is his first love.

Not in a romantic way. Not in a sexual way.

But in a way that he has never known.

Because for the first time in his long, violent existence—

He is not alone.

In Short Their Relationship Is:

Creepy & wholesome.

Soft touches & forehead kisses.

Mommy issues in real-time.

Mark is having a mental breakdown.

Uncle Con is suffering, but secretly loves it.

The babies own him now.

Love is weird.

[auroras-void]

Ok I am not normally one to be excited about the democratic party, but something historic just happened and I think us commie leftists should be talking about it.

Kamala Harris has just raised upwards of $50 MILLION, in ONE DAY, in just grassroots donations. (source: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/07/21/us/politics/bidens-exit-democratic-donations.html).

This is an insane amount of money for a political campaign especially given the context of the current election. I'm not an expert and I can't verify this but I believe this is more grassroots money than any candidate has raised this quickly in any country in all of history.

Added with Biden's existing warchest and this more than closes the fundraising deficit the Biden campaign had against trump and then some, even accounting for the post assassination attempt surge. On day ONE.

Money buys elections. This is a big fucking deal. This is the best news we've had in weeks.

Additionally, despite her questionable run as AG and some of her shitty "tough on crime" crap, Kamala still has one of the most progressive voting records in congress. (Source: https://voteview.com/person/41701/kamala-devi-harris) This matters a lot in a race that's going to be about voter turnout, and for those of y'all who have been reluctant to vote Biden due to his mishandling of the war in Gaza, iirc, she was the first person in the Biden Administration to start talking about a Cease Fire.

After being so anxious about Project 2025 so fucking much I actually started getting my passport ready just in case because of the shit about criminalizing trans healthcare, this is easily the most optimistic I have felt about politics in years. To the point I even went ahead and chipped in a few bucks to her campaign despite having like no fuckin money.

I'm even gonna drop the link here for y'all:

https://secure.actblue.com/donate/ads-gs-dd-kdhsearch-july2024?refcode=om2024_ads_gs_240721_kdhexmdonate_dd_us_all_actblue&gad_source=1

We have a shot to claw this back here. It's going to take work, and it's not a guarantee, and it's still not going to be ideal, but there is a reason to be hopeful again.

[aangarchy]

We all saw the post about how insane the boiling rock episodes are from Hakoda's perspective but what about Chit Sang

Like imagine you're a notorious fire nation criminal, you've been in prison for it for about a decade. You like provoking guards, even though it ends with you in a cooler most of the time. You've spent a few years trying to come up with an escape plan but everything you can come up with ends with you falling into a boiling lake so you kind of give up.

Then after having spent the night in a cooler again you walk across the main hall and hear this young man wearing a guard uniform talking about using that same fucking cooler as a boat to go across the boiling lake. Of course you force them to let you join. The plan fails miserably and you end up getting caught. You don't tell the warden anything. You find the teenaged guard again, and now another adult has finally joined, turns out that's the kid's dad. Whomever this kid's dad is must have done something real bad to end up in this prison, and looks like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree seeing his kid is impersonating a guard to free them all, but you don't really have time to figure it all out. You get a new plan, you capture the warden and make it to the gondola. This kid has some serious balls. Halfway there though the gondola gets stopped and the princess of the fire nation runs up to you guys. These kids pissed off the royal family and you're really reconsidering joining these guys because who the fuck pisses off the royal family and lives? Great, you think, that's it, but no those three fucking teenagers you're escaping with all climb the gondola in order to fight her. Absolutely insane. Miraculously you make it off, and escape on the princess's very own war balloon. Again, these kids have some balls.

Then finally you fly away from the prison you spent a decade in, having your first taste of freedom. You ask these kids where we're going and the one in the guard uniform mentions they're flying to the western airtemple ruins to join his friends. Alright fair enough, you don't really get why teenagers would be spending their times in those ruins. In the meantime you've realized the scarred kid is the banished prince of the fire nation, no wonder his sister came chasing after your group. After a few hours you land and you finally set your feet on free ground for the first time in years. You get ready for introductions and the first person to walk up to you is a twelve year old bald kid with tattoos who introduces himself as the fucking Avatar. You accidentally joined team Avatar as they're trying to end the war.

[gremlingottoosilly]

Girlfailure!Reader X Loser!König

Konig being your online friend, some guy you found on a Reddit forum - mostly because he promptly called you a fucking loser for not liking his favorite videogame character, and then proceeded to buy you an entire library's worth of videogames once he checked that you were a woman. Also, it's because he needed you to understand the glory of his favorite piece of media, and you're a girl. That's it. The guy is weird and cringe and you're calling him a fucking incel but, then again, you forgot the last time you went out for something other than your shitty job and some groceries, and you don't have a single friend to invite to your tiny studio apartment covered in old energy drink cans and takeout boxes(not like you have much money for takeout, but cooking is even worse). The guy is weird and cringe and he has a huge gun collection that you, despite everything, like to ask about - he is making videos for you, dangerous promises that are probably enough to get him to the police, but it's not like you even think about selling him off to the cops. You don't care that he is probably an international terrorist or some other form of war criminal, because he somehow always finds a way to send you cute gifts, fulfill your wishlist and then even send you money - once you spilled some stuff about your manager and he half-jokingly asked you to send him nudes in exchange for enough money to quit your job. You did. He sends you enough to make you seriously reconsider your life choices. Konig is weird and a fuckin incel, but he seems content with just sending you gifts and receiving some spicy photos - and you like the attention, you like his deep voice trembling in that boyish way when you get to the video chat. You never had a guy liking you so much - and it's intoxicating. So, when he finally appears on your doorstep, you're inviting him.

[transformers-spike]

Hello ummm can I order a uhh wholesome Starscream x human!SO with the SO being into praising him and caring for him? And he of course is drinking it all up because he needs love and reassurance more than he could ever admit

Yet again my brain decided to go for a full length novel, so I had to pull back and came up with this. Think of this as them before they got together:

“Are you alright?” “Of course I am! Why would you think otherwise?” he snarks, puffing up like a disgruntled cockatiel. You squint and look him up and down with the most “dude, just admit it” expression you can muster. He glares at you for what feels like ages, ridiculous brow plates knitted into a “fucking try me” V. You sigh, take off the welding mask and put down the torch. “I’m worried about you.” Those very same brow plates shoot up to the sky. “Pah! I don’t need your worry!” he scoffs like he isn’t bleeding out in the middle of the woods. “Sure you don’t, but I’ll have you know there’s only so much I can do! We should call Ratchet.” His fist slams to the ground, you stumble but manage to catch yourself before falling face first into the deadly spikes adorning his stiletto. Death by high heel isn’t on your “appropriately ironic deaths” list, but you should add it. If your brain didn’t slosh inside your skull like a snowglobe in the hands of a petulant two year old, you could have sworn the mighty ex-commander of the Decepticons looked apologetic for a split second. “I would rather not deal with the likes of the Autobot medic,” he declares in a slightly softer voice, although not without his usual amount of scorn. “After all, you’re doing just fine,” he croons in a sly, buttering tone. Maybe you could have believed him if he hadn’t been constantly berating you for fucking up the impromptu surgery. You are not a medic, goddammit! Much less well-versed in the art of welding shut a metal alien from a planet light years away! You’re just some car junky with pyromaniac inclinations! But seeing him this way… covered in grime and energon, wings hanging low and servos shaking. You’re glad you didn’t send him to voicemail.

You pat his leg. “Thanks, but if this happens again I’m calling Bulkhead to haul your ass back to base whether you like it or not.” Putting on your welding mask, you keep working. Starscream stays oddly quiet, not even bothering to beep at you indignantly when your torch falls out of line. It’s no Picasso, but the bleeding has stopped. After you step back to give him some space, he tests out his leg, standing up and shifting his weight from side to side. The injured leg strains but does not collapse. “Good?” you ask. “Manageable,” he mumbles in his typical “it kinda sucks but I have to be grateful” way.

Pride fills you up like a single mom downing martinis during happy hour. Although not the best compliment, it’s a Ritz-Carlton coming from him.

“Do you want to go back to base? Or just… hang out here? In the middle of the woods?” He wrinkles his optical ridge at you but doesn’t answer.

“Okay,” you drawl out, taking a seat on possibly the most comfortable rock in Nevada. Years pass by – or so it feels like – waiting for the usually extremely bitchy (thus chatty) bot to break the silence. He does not. “I think I should go,” you sit up and thumb at your car, parked all the way across the woods on the main road, a good hike from where you’re currently at. “Don’t,” he hisses. His expression is almost… forlorn if not for his angry brows. Oh fuck off, the emotionally constipated airplane war criminal can’t ask you to hang out without hurting his pride. Which makes you the responsible adult of the situation compared to the billion year old metal chicken. And by God, you are the least responsible person you know (excluding Starscream).

So you sit your ass back down and lock eyes with said chicken. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about what happened?” you ask, fully expecting him to shut you down by calling you fleshling and waving your humanity over your head like a shitty “begone” charm.

Instead, he thinks about it, averting his gaze from you and turning it to the vast wilderness beyond the trees. “Vehicons,” he states bitterly. “Either it was a purely coincidental dogfight or… Megatron is after me.” His whole frame shudders, wings sinking as low as they can go.

“I see.” You pause to take a deep breath. “Do you want to tell the Autobots?”

He shakes his helm and loosens a self-deprecating chuckle from his vocalizer. “Like they would listen to me.” You scrunch up your nose. “How about I tell them? Would that be easier for you?” His optics widen for a brief moment before returning to their perpetually conniving state. “I’m not delighted with the option, but it’s preferable considering their propensity for gathering unsolicited information.” The silence returns. “Hey, I know it’s not the best time to bring this up. But you don’t even have to answer, just please hear me out.” He peers at you wordlessly. “You’ve been through-” you gesture at dry neon blue energon adorning his frame “-a lot lately. I’m not asking you to talk about your feelings or anything like that, but if you ever need someone to just… be around, I’m here.” His expression hasn’t shifted one bit. It’s completely unreadable. You continue on with gritted teeth. “Personally, I’ve never defected from an extremely violent faction and been hunted down through the sky, but I find it’s easier to suffer around friends and family. They help shoulder the pain.”

He arches a metal brow. “Are you implying we’re friends?” “I mean-” you stammer, “I definitely consider you a friend. If you don’t, that’s fine, I’m not forcing you or anything. To each their own. But that’s beside the point-” A lengthy chuckle cuts you off. “Does a friend answer their comm in the middle of the night cycle and perform surgery with sub-optimal tools?” You’re not sure if he’s insulting you or trying to make a meaningful point. Maybe both. “If so,” he continues, lips quirking into an intimidating but somehow genuine smile, “we are friends.” Your brain flatlines. “Oh,” you whisper. “OH,” it hits you like an F-15 Fighting Falcon at full speed. “I… okay. So, um, if you want to hang out and stuff, I can stick around until five o’clock. Then I’ll have to leave and get ready for work.”

“Good enough,” he scoffs good-naturedly, having returned to his bitchy old self with slightly less bitchiness. But the smile he doesn’t bother hiding betrays something deeper. Starscream is your friend. Starscream called himself your friend. Holy shit, you think you’re going to have an aneurysm.

[mistressmxggot]

Chapter 3- ✰ A Wolf has no Mercy ✰

"𝗥𝗶𝗰𝘁𝘂𝘀 𝘀𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗱, 𝗮𝗱𝗱𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗕𝗮𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀.

"𝗡𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗰𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗱. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗳 𝗠𝗶𝘀𝘀 𝗠𝗲𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗮'𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲. 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿?"

𝗕𝗮𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗲. 𝗦𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱, 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗯𝗯𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗰𝗶𝗴𝗮𝗿𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲. 𝗕𝗮𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝘂𝗲𝗱 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸. 𝗡𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗰𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗱."

Tags: Brothels, drinking, noncon drugging, kidnapping, noncon touching, noncon suggestive content, threats, mention of abuse

~"Ambessa fucking Medarda."

You felt lightheaded. This was utterly ridiculous. Why you? She'd seen you for all of two minutes! You began to nervously laugh.

"Wait. So you're telling me that she wants to see...me? What for?"

Malik's smile widened. "I couldn't even fucking tell you. She said she wanted to see you, alone, in a private room. She dropped a gold bar infront of me and I think came in my pants." He laughed, his pupils dilated.

He looked like a kid on Christmas who just got a new toy he's wanted for years. You looked like wet rat caught in a mouse trap. Your shoulders slumped.

"Malik I-"

He cut you off. "You're going to do this. She payed for you, entertain her." He looked alot more stern than before.

You gulped, hands playing with your garner belts. He was babbling to Babette, but you couldn't hear a word. This didn't make sense to you. Why not just ask for a lap dance or private pole dance? It scared you to think about what she wanted to do with you. You weren't a prostitute. You didn't want to have sex with some Noxian war criminal. The thought of having sex with another woman made your cheeks flush. Your eyebrows furrowed.

"I thought you hated topside. Why are you making me do this?"

Malik scoffed. "I hate them, not their money."

He turned back to Babette. You gulped again.

"I'm not doing it. I dont want to have sex with her."

Malik slowly turned to you, glaring. He approached you, roughly grabbing your arm.

"Yes you are. You're doing this whether you like it or not. Now go get fucking ready."

You snatched your arm away from him. He growled.

"Here, I have girl here to help you get ready. Make sure you look good enough. I'm going to The Last Drop. If I hear anything about you refusing her, I promise you won't like me."

He turned away from you, pushing threw the curtains. You swallowed, your whole body tense. Babette got up from her chair, coming over to you.

"I know you're scared. It'll be fine. Howl has told me about her. I promise you she won't be as bad as you think. She's just a woman that know what she wants. I mean she's a very wealthy general, and you know how wealthy people are."

Your eyes became watery. She did know what she wanted, and that made it all the more scarier. Babette held your hand in between hers, giving you a sympathetic look.

"You'll be fine darling. Just breathe. You'll get through the night."

You snickered at her.

"I mean will I?"

She gave you a sad smile.

A blonde woman walked into her office. She smiled warmly at you.

"I'm here to help you get ready. I have an outfit and private room for you."

You took deep breath, trying to calm yourself. You know how angry Malik could get. You didnt want to deal with him. You didn't want to know what he would do to you.

You followed the blonde woman out of Babette's office. She led you down the very long hallway, making you more nervous than you already were. The two of you entered a small room. It was filled with beauty products. Makeup, perfume, hygiene items, and a beautiful dress.

"Please come sit down."

She snapped you out of your thoughts. You sat into a cushioned chair. She started with your hair. She added mousse and something to make it shine apparently. She completely changed and removed your makeup. Deciding on something way more simple than your full face, she added lots of highlighter all over. She gave you blush, a little concealer, lipgloss, and white eyeshadow on your lids. You put on body butter and flowery perfume.

This entire night didn't feel real. She was dressing and painting you like a doll. This was so gross. The silk dress you wore was of course white, with see-through lace accents. It hugged your body nicely. The blonde girl said absolutely no necklaces or bracelets. You turned your nose up at that. Weird. You checked yourself out in the mirror. Beautiful yes, it was just odd. All white outfit, all white makeup, and your body was very much on display.

So she was one of those. You had to look pure and innocent or whatever. Ick.

"You should see Ms Medarda now."

Oh. Your stomach knotted. Whew. Well here goes nothing. The walk to the room she was in seemed to take forever to get to. It could be because you were taking steps that were tiny. Your helper had since left, after telling you where to go. God you didn't want to do this. She was scary and huge. You felt tiny and pathetic. The hallway felt like a long tunnel of doom, your torturous demise waiting for you at the end. The closer you got, the more your mind and body screamed to turn around.

God you hated Malik for this. You never had to do anything like this. You would dance on that stage and ignore the lustful looks around you. Now you had to come face to face with those predatory eyes. Your heart pounded. Your hands were sweaty. You were there, the doorway covered with this purple curtains.

You seriously couldn't do this, but you had to. You stepped forward then immediately pulled back.

It'll be fine, you'll get through the night.

You remembered Babette's words. She said Ambessa had been here before. She'd been with other clients. She isn't looking for anything different from you. Just entertain her, as Malik said.

Taking one last final breath, probably literally, you reached for the curtains.

God help me.

You pushed them away, slowly stepping inside. She sat on a large, deep red sofa. Her arm rested lazily on the back of the couch, the side of her pressed against it. Her opposite hand held a glass of wine, the slow swivel of the liquid coming to a stop. She lifted her head, hazel eyes focusing on you.

Your entire being felt like jelly. She softly smiled at you as she set her glass down onto the wooden table infront of her. Your hands nervously fiddled with eachother. You knew you had to look so meek right now. You stood there unmoving. She raised her eyebrows, smile slightly falling.

Say something.

"Ms Medarda."

You wanted it to sound firm and seductive, instead you sounded like she had you hanging from the ceiling by your neck. Her face was filled with amusement.

"Sit."

She gestured to the other side of the sofa with her hand. You adjusted your feet, eyes darting around. You began to make your way over to her. Her eyes tracked you, focusing. This was horrible. The air in the room felt suffocating. You gently sat on the couch, eyes avoiding hers for as long as you could. A pregnant pause passed between you two.

"You should know It's considered Ill-mannered to not look your guests in the eyes, especially a guest of interest."

Your head snapped up, your eyes immediately meeting hers.

"I-I I'm very sorry Ms Medarda. I-"

She shushed you, laughing. You stopped talking. You sounded like a babbling idiot.

"Tell me about yourself little lamb."

You were taken aback. Your eyes darted back and forth. What should you tell her about? Your hobbies and favorite color? Malik? The fact he's forcing you to do this? The abuse he subjects you to? The story of your parents? That you hated topside and her entire presence made you extremely uncomfortable?

The sound of a glass sliding over to you brought you out of your thoughts. Her face studied you, her eyebrows now raised and her smile gone. You looked at the glass infront of you.

It took everything in you to smile at her.

"Oh well, I like dancing."

"I can see that."

You blushed. She gestured towards the glass.

"Try it."

You grimaced. This had to be time where she got you drunk and started pressing up on you. Picking up the glass, you took a drink. Your eyes widened. It was delicious. It was fruity, but still strong. You gulped more down, hopefully not looking to greedy. Ambessa's lips parted, head tilting back.

"Thank you. It's amazing." You smiled at her.

She slowly blinked. There was a look in her eyes that you couldn't quite recognize.

"I had it..."

She paused.

"Hm, crafted for you."

What did she want? It felt like she should be meaner to you. Your body had slightly relaxed. She was just looking at you. You cleared your throat.

"So... um I also like art. I paint and draw."

You didn't know if that sounded stupid and childish. Topside had to like art right?

"I wonder how long.."

She seemed to be talking to the room rather than you. You finished your drink, placing it onto the table.

"Oh well I've always liked art. I've been drawing since a child, but I've just recently started painting."

Warmth spread through your body. That liquor was damn good. Your head and body both felt light.

"Y'know I-" You swallowed, letting out a small cough.

Her eyes widened in amused surprise. Your brain felt fuzzy. Blinking, you focused back onto Ambessa.

"I'm sorry I was going to-"

Your breathing picked up. You rubbed your eyes. Why did you feel like this? Your body felt weak.

Did she have two heads?! You rubbed at your eyes again. What's happening?!

You looked back to the empty glass. Hitting the table as you abruptly stood up, her glass of wine spilled. Her eyes stayed on you, a smirk on her face.

"What was- what was- that drink-" Your knees became weak.

You stumbled around, vision getting blury. Her muscular arms held you as you collapsed into her lap.

"Please..."

"Hush child."

Her muffled voice fell onto your ears. Her face gazed down at you. Whimpering, your vision faded to black.

Ambessa looked down at your sleeping form. She sure made her decision. Laying you gently back down onto the couch, she stepped out the room. She went to where Rictus had been waiting around the corner for her. She motioned him to the hallway. Rictus followed behind her as they headed back to you. You looked so beautiful sleeping. Picking you up bridal style, he carried you out to Ambessa. She stood waiting for him, occasionally glaring at the watching eyes. No one dared to look at her for too long. She turned, walking towards the exit, with Rictus following close behind. Babette stepped outside her office. She slightly gasped at the sight. This was wrong. So very, very wrong. She had to say something.

"Ms Medarda! With all respect..."

She gulped.

"She's a good girl. A good, resilient girl." Babette sputtered.

Ambessa continued out of the exit, ignoring the comment. Rictus slowed, addressing Babette and the watching clients.

"Nothing occurred. There was nothing of Ms Medarda's presence. Are we clear?"

Babette stood still, eyebrows pushed together in worry.

"Nothing occurred." She repeated.

Rictus stared at Babette for a moment. He soon turned back to follow Ambessa. You laid in Rictus' arms, temple resting on his bicep. Your arms laying lifelessly in your lap as you slept a dreamless sleep. The brothel workers continued their work and Babette returned to her office. She shook her head, stubbing out her almost burnt out cigarette. Babette reluctantly continued her paperwork. Nothing occurred.

Darkness faded in and out. Ambessa. She... what happened again? Your vision came and went. You exhaled as feathery touches ran down your arms. Someone was whispering to you, but you couldn't make out what was being said. Wet kisses started at your ear. They trailed down your neck, ending at the top of your chest. Warm hands ran over your breasts. You gasped as you felt your nipples being pinched. Your mouth fell open.

"Malik?"

Your voice came out weak. Malik had never treated you this way. He was aggressive. Thankfully he never went too far. The kisses started again on your stomach, moving further down. Sticky heat moved through your core. Tingles shot through your thighs. It started slow. It washed over your body, causing your back to arch. More muffled words were said, fuzzy colors surrounded you. Darkness overcame you once more.~

You. Always. Masterlist

Here we go yall 😭 This story has seriously been the only thing in my mind. I hope I somewhat captured Ambessa, lowkey the hardest part lol.

Taglist: @maaaaaaaaaaari

Lmk to be added.

[tricksh0t]

★ helping hand (Hamburger Helper)

☾ jaime lannister x m reader

𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘴𝘩0𝘵 ⛥ dw about the hamburger helper its a joke

𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘴 ⛥ 2.14k words

cw: handjob, frotting, spit, sub Jaime, dubcon, swearing

Jaime is stressed. Actually, Jaime Lannister is stressed, because all his troubles seem to stem from his house duties.

Jaime knew that his father, Tywin Lannister, Hand of the King, seasoned army commander, war winner, and expert at giving disappointed looks was likely to strip him of his titles and send him back to Casterly Rock to continue the family line if he so much as made a single mistake, even going as far as taking back his words of disowning him, now that his little brother, Tyrion, was a very persecuted criminal. A breeding mare, he would be, because as much as Jaime hates to think about it, he is a one-handed knight who lost his sword hand.

If there's something he has, it's his cock, and it works; but he can't say it stands proud anymore, because his secret sister-wife Cersei denies him so much as a hand and he is nothing but blisteringly loyal to her.

So here he is, sexually, emotionally and physically frustrated, without his usual duties to fulfill like flaunting his sword.

The only thing that's not Lannister about his troubles is actually Tyrell, or rather, the cocky knight his new to-be-in-laws have brought with them from Hightower to become part of the King's Guard, you.

Already, you think yourself a God not to be fucked with, the second coming of Ser Meryn Trant, not for the asshole's skill but for his arrogance and blatant discourtesy.

What you have over Ser Meryn is actual skill as a swordsman, something you are right to be proud of, if you weren't so arrogant about it. Then there's your looks.

The Tyrells and Hightower love to be pretty. Margaery is a good match for his son already, despite what Cersei says, she is pretty on the outside as well as the inside. Loras, the Knight of the Flowers, is a popular bachelor, even though he has apparent, different tastes, he knows how to use his looks to fool a girl for his house duty. Olenna, though old, still decorates herself with the finest dresses and jewelry, almost as if it is second nature to her.

Naturally, you must be pretty too. You're not a Hightower kind of pretty, though, you're handsome, more rugged, scarred. You wear the Tyrell colors, their embroidery, their style, and yet you remain in Jaime's eye different.

It's too bad you're an asshole. He might've been good friends with you.

Jaime doesn't know why he's thinking about you while he's doing this. Initially, he'd just screwed his eyes shut to try to empty his mind and think of better things.

He tries to drift his attention towards what he usually likes, another's soft hands he's proud to have kept soft; long, flowing, and wavy blonde hair, emerald green eyes; but then he finds himself thinking of you again.

Rough hands that might just feel good on him, short hair, narrowed, mocking eyes, and another mocking smile to accompany them. Then muscles beneath armor, then muscles beneath nothing, then sweat and that sword hand wrapped around your sword and then imaginatively, wrapped around his cock.

And it's getting him off.

Imagining the hand he's got around him is yours is a filthy, guilty pleasure he'll never admit to, but it only helps that it's his left hand, because it feels foreign.

"Need a hand?"

Jaime jumps. His eyes snap open and he flings his hand away, only to sloppily pull up the sheets of his bed to cover himself decently.

"Just what are you doing here?" He asks, because he knows you've heard of knocking.

Evidently, you spy on the fact he hasn't gone soft. You continue taking steps forward. "I asked you a question first."

Jaime steels his dignity to speak next, "Jerking off is a one-handed thing, I'm afraid."

"Not going to take my so very kind offer?" You only stop nearing when you get to the edge of his bed.

You look down on him like you're in some position of power over him, even though he has all levels of seniority on you, because that is how you are. Cocky and arrogant and self-entitled.

Jaime sits up, but you push him back down, placing a hand on the unlaced front of his sleeping tunic, on his chest. His weak flesh hand comes up to fight yours, clutching at your wrist. His gold-plated, heavy hand is useless, and thus though he may not surrender, he cannot push you away.

You suddenly place your other hand beside his head, making him jump pathetically, but he is unable to go elsewhere as you lean down to whisper, "Let's not pretend that you do not fancy me, Kingslayer."

Your hand plays the part of a seductress, pushing his tunic loose around the top to caress at his hairless, toned chest. A warm touch, and he was right: a rough one too, the pads of your fingers are calloused.

"You swore an oath when you joined the King's Guard."

"You did too."

Jaime clicks his tongue at your audacity, looking up at you with narrowed eyes. You only return a smirk, that damned smirk, audacious and playful.

And then the seductress trails a path down the line between his pecs, down his sternum and abdomen, slipping below the covers to do so.

Jaime doesn't fight this time, in fact he lets go of your hand, and you can tell it's because he wants it.

His narrowed eyes change expressions, from an angry glare into a look that tells you he's watching you.

They only narrow further when you lift his tunic to trail your fingers not around his cock like you know he wants it, but down his happy trail. You take your sweet time swirling the short, thick hairs around your fingers in circles, thumbing at the end of the trail and the beginning of the tactile, trimmed bush. You switch from your whole hand to two fingers, tracing down the messy, crooked trail until you're almost at the base of his length.

Jaime is about to complain about how you edge right around it, but then you're suddenly grasping the base in one full hand.

He gasps.

Rough, is his first thought. Rough because of how tough the palm of your hand is, calloused and worked, and rough because you spare him no mercy in how tight you grip him.

"Softer, ass–" Your eyes silence him, that smirk again, you're in control of his pleasure. Jaime sighs, "please."

The pleasure lighting up in your gaze brings him no pleasure, not until you move your hand and, "Shit."

He tries to keep stoic, biting his lip to keep his mouth closed. It's a fight in it of itself, one he can fight. Though he has lost his swordsmanship, he has not lost the discipline and endurance that come with it.

However, the simple motion of your hand makes him want to roll his eyes back, even though you're barely doing him any good.

Already an electric shock fires through his body. His left hand feels foreign, yes, but it is slow and the fog of pleasure forming in his mind would make it sloppy. Your hand is perfect; actually foreign, big and motivated.

Jaime hasn't been the best swordsman in Westeros in a long time, and so he finds that he is losing his patience. The sexual frustration and this very moment are evidence of it, because he finds pleasure in all of it.

When your face leaves his view, it makes his eyes refocus. He looks down at you as you lean over his cock and not take it in your mouth, but let your spit drool over it.

"Fuck."

It's a sight, the new asshole of the Red Keep pleasuring him willingly, eagerly at that.

You spread the drool over his length evenly, but then only pay attention to his tip, thumb pressing against the slit and swirling.

His hand finds the back of your neck, an outward, sudden thing through the fog of pleasure and unmediated strength. "Don't make this impersonal, at least."

"If you can sit a while, darling."

Jaime rolls his eyes, but sits back and waits.

He's seen your body before, your boundless muscles and scarce scars, but of course he hasn't seen your cock.

You don't make a show for it, but his anticipation only makes things feel slower as he watches you undress. Just the faulds and scale groin guard, and then your pants and underwear, and the wait is much too long.

He reaches out to help, but you push his hand back against the headboard roughly. Jaime scoffs, and you only laugh in turn.

"Asshole."

You take your time, and Jaime takes his to watch. He bites his lip at the sight of your V line, but he focuses more on your hairy happy trail, lets his eyes follow it down the more you expose.

Your cock slaps your abdomen when you finally free it, and Jaime has to bite back an exclamation when he sees it.

He hadn't noticed, but precum had been dripping down his length as he watched. You press the tip of your cock against it, against his, collecting and spreading the pre around the both of you.

Jaime groans.

"Is it personal now?"

"Uh-huh." Jaime huffs breathlessly, eyes glued to what you're doing to him.

You straddle his legs and slowly press your cocks together lengthwise. He has no time to dwell on the size difference, before you're wrapping your hand around the both of you at the same time.

Jaime's breaths grow to match the pace of your hand, slow for now. His eyes close.

"Jaime."

"Hm?" Lazily, they open once more, only to widen when you part his lips and keep them open with your thumb at the corner of his lip.

Drool gathers at the bottom of his mouth forcibly, and he can't do much about it, not until you tell him to spit into your hand.

With his mind truly lost now, he obeys, and you soon spit into the same hand and use the mix to continue jerking the two of you off.

It's disgusting, a mix of your spit and his that will soon be accompanied by both of your seeds.

There's a wet squelch each time your hand reaches the top again, and that's disgusting too.

It's disgusting, but a part of him feels like he's missed this. A foreign hand, a sexual partner, pleasure like he's never had before, and he could only ever want more.

It's disgusting, but it's so fucking good.

Jaime's hips buck into your hand, wanting more and only more.

You're not selfish, either. The attention you pay to his cock makes it swell all the harder. It's almost as if you're servicing him, and only him.

When you add more spit into the mess, right on the tip of his cock, he yelps. His hand reaches for your wrist, and yet it does nothing to stop you.

He can't stop the moans from spilling from his mouth anymore, a steady "uh uh uh".

The coil in the pit of his stomach turns and turns, coiling and making him clench his stomach. He's close, so very close.

More pre weeps from the tip of his cock, and you swirl your finger around the tip, spreading it around.

Jaime's eyes focus once more on the movement. He winces, "Please."

But you're an asshole and he's forgotten that.

You wrap your hand around the both of you weakly, languidly dragging it up and down your cocks. It's not enough for him, not after how mind-blowing you were, not while he knows how mind-blowing you could be.

In a spurt of determination, Jaime's hand wraps right around yours.

No longer weak, his left hand guides the movement again, rough and fast that has his reactive hips bucking in tandem too.

You're very clearly amused but he does nothing about it.

No, he's in control now, doesn't need you.

Jaime chases after his pleasure, as he deems he rightfully deserves. He uses your hand like a vessel, a puppet, just to get off.

Hips bucking, pre and spit squelching, tip swollen red; it's instinctual, animalistic, the way he chases to snap the coil in his stomach with no regard for his energy.

When Jaime finishes, it's his first in a long time, and it has his entire body going limp.

His cum washes over the both of your lengths, but he's already got his eyes closed when it does. He doesn't know when you finish, only that it's later.

"Do I get a thank you?"

Jaime opens his eyes and looks at your now clothed body, then at his cock. His spit, your spit, his cum, yours. His nose turns up.

"No."

[phoenixyfriend]

I had a very long Star Wars dream last night. Baffling level of narrative coherency for a dream.

Started out with Obi-Wan Kenobi, our bespectacled thirty-something, going to a university for a Grad Student thing. He's been working for nonprofits for some time, and wants to get a degree to further his work.

He gets to an advisor's office, (which is a Generic Salt-And-Pepper White Man buuuuuut we could probably swap out for an actual AU, maybe make it Mace?) who walks him through the courses and prereqs and so on. Great. All going good. He goes out to some kind of program meeting with his fellow grad students (some straight out of undergrad, some his age) and a sort of team lead person who is… Anakin Skywalker.

And it is. Tense. Like 'everyone can feel it' tense. Anakin's doing something Doctoral, whatever, and his purpose right now is to Program Manage these grad students in another department (Anakin does some analytics and database stuff for the department), and one of those students is Obi-Wan Kenobi and nobody can figure out what the damage is.

They attempt professionalism. They are… cordial. They avoid each other otherwise.

Several weeks in, there's a "we should talk confrontation" and Anakin blows up because the time to talk was years ago, Obi-Wan! Like five to ten years ago! When shit went down!

FLASHBACK TIME: These two were doing crime. It was a team of seven. I don't remember all of whom were involved but it was definitely them two, Rex and Cody, maybe Quinlan? and a few other people. (Not Ahsoka, she was excluded for safety because teenager).

They were probably doing some kind of Leverage stuff but also possibly some domestic terrorism. A job went bad, Cody died, and they all kinda split to do their own things. Partly this was to dodge law enforcement, but partly it was because they were all fucked up and grieving.

Obi-Wan wanted to take some time to himself to grieve, which Anakin was upset about because they're not just brothers in arms, they're basically brothers, at least in Anakin's eyes, and they had a huge blow-up fight about it. They haven't spoken since.

(Rex is in Anakin's life again. He acts as an Uncle figure to the twins. He is also… not in the best mental space, considering his own dead brother.)

Obi-Wan ends up getting pulled aside to talk to someone, probably Mace or Yoda, and a no-criminal-activity version of the story spills out. And it's very 'well what the fuck am I supposed to do with that' because the person pulling him aside was thinking it was like… they had a one-night stand before the program started and now they don't know how to navigate the power dynamic, not grief and distance and family bullshit.

IDK where it was gonna go from there, I think they were still circling each other like feral cats trying to decide what to do when I woke up.

(There was a sideplot about Padme and the twins doing fun things in the basement, but the fun things included a well that they'd use to act out Alice in Wonderland and other insane stuff. Which they loved but was weird. Why do you have a well that's at least ten feet deep in your basement, Padme. Why are you putting your kids in there. Also I had to run away from a bunch of wasps into a pool.)

Rex and Cody! Are just! Background Grief Bullshit! But it hovers over the entire fic.

I think Quinlan should bully his way back into Obi-Wan's life before the plot starts.

And he's the one that angles Obi-Wan into going to This Specific University. That Anakin's at.

He didn't expect them to be that close contact, just wanted them to run into each other in the hall and make amends. In my mind, the timeline is that the crime group broke up for opsec, then a year or two later Quinlan shows up on Obi-Wan's doorstep with intent to Friendship.

Obi-Wan would have done the same with Anakin but their fight was so big and horrible that he doesn't think he'd be welcome.

NGL even in the dream I was like "wow this seems like a really intense Obikin fic concept," but every time I thought about it, the dream would hammer in on the BROTHERS thing again.

[ghoulphile]

i want this man to do gross, disrespectful, unspeakable, borderline illegal things to me

⭐ inbox | discord | ao3 ⭐ requests: temporarily closed | tag lists: open last updated | 6/6/24 notes | i'll update this post as i continue to write. fics will be 18+ unless stated otherwise ❤️ requests closed so i can catch up on the ones already submitted - will be opening up again soon!

🍒 sticky fingers the ghoul x reader one-shot | 18+

“Lil girls should know it’s rude ta steal.”

🍒 janey's dad cooper howard x reader two-shot, part one | 18+

“We really, uh, shouldn’t - oh fuck, you look --”

🍒 run rabbit run the ghoul x reader drabble, request | 18+

the drabble thing HNNNGH think about coop calling you bunny from the start bc he clocked that you were always a down for it and you not getting it until he after you fuck for the first time

🍒 in the middle of the night the ghoul x reader drabble, request | 18+

Cooper watching you sleep. Its a quiet night. nothing but bugs passing by. Cooper keeps watching, and his mind wanders. cut to him "borrowing" your soft and smooth hand, pulling it from under your makeshift blanket and wrapping it on his dick, jacking himself with your hand bc he's bored/trying to pass the time/stay awake

🍒 wish you'd make me cry the ghoul x reader drabble, request | 18+

"You’re such a needy fucking brat." :3c

🍒 dog days pre-war cooper howard x reader fluff, request

I was wondering if you'd write something about maybe prewar/postwar (either one) cooper where his love is a bit sick (not life threateningly so ect) and he just takes good care of them

🍒 it's always the quiet ones pre-war cooper howard x reader drabble | 18+

We can see that Cooper tends to go for good girls but what if he ran into a seemingly innocent - or at the very least kind - person… but they dirty talk like a sinner in the sack?

🍒 no use cryin' over spilled milk the ghoul x reader one-shot | 18+

based off this ask; trying to survive topside after growing up in a vault is hard enough, but doing it five months pregnant? it's a good thing you find the ghoul when you do.

🍒 i can taste your skin in my teeth the ghoul x reader drabble request, wip | 18+

drabble request thingy: "you're so wet and I haven't even touched you" and/or "aww... you're pathetic" I feel like these go so well together in a very mean(super hot) way >:)

🍒 use me pre-war cooper howard x reader drabble request, wip | 18+

for the drabble request "I want to use you so fucking bad" with pre bomb coop?

🍒 don't threaten me with a good time the ghoul x reader request, wip | 18+

how do you think our ghoul would handle having a breeding kink?

🍒 in the collision of your kiss pre-war cooper howard x reader wip | 18+

"As I live and breathe, that's Cooper Howard! Why, he must've cost a fortune -- how ever did you get him to agree to attend a children's party?"

🍒 criminal tongues the ghoul x reader request, wip | 18+

Could I get and aggressive smut with coop like he hasn't had any in 200 something years ! Hes needy and wants it NOW

🍒 finders, keepers the ghoul x reader request, wip | 18+

Cooper wants people to know the reader is *his*, and she best damn well know it to. If she doesn't, he'll have to show her

🍒 god is a woman pre-war cooper howard x reader request, wip | 18+

If you don't mind of making cooper howard/the ghoul being submissive or treating reader like a goddess of a smut?

🍒 bury all your secrets in my skin the ghoul x reader request, wip | 18+

I was thinking how it would be to be the first to get him to take all his clothes off since the bombs fell. Being the first to get him to be vulnerable in this way. If you would write this I would be very grateful.

[reginaldqueribundus]

the Sarek family is hilarious to me because you have so much drama in one place. there have got to be at least 3 like, holo-documentaries or whatever about them. how could you not?

you have Sarek, the patriarch: one of the UFP's top diplomats, who knocks up a Vulcan princess then goes “hrm I am ambassador to Earth therefore I should marry a human” and he does, upsetting all sorts of the worst kinds of people on his home planet and causing racist hate groups to try to blow him and his family up multiple times, and seems honestly more put out by his son joining Starfleet than his other son becoming Vulcan Moriarty

Amanda, the matriarch: an accomplished educator and quite possibly the only well-adjusted member of the family, but when her son Spock shows up on her doorstep after growing a beard, having a mental breakdown and apparently murdering several medical staff she still shrugs and hides him in the family mausoleum

Sybok: Amanda's stepson from the aforementioned princess fling, who becomes an antiestablishment criminal mastermind with an edgelord fake name, hooks up with a hot space pirate, finds religion, starts a cult, takes an entire colonial government hostage sparking a diplomatic incident involving three galactic superpowers, and hijacks a Starfleet ship to the galactic core to find the Vulcan Garden of Eden, where he dies fighting god in hand-to-hand combat

Michael, a traumatized human girl Sarek brings home from a work trip, who joins Starfleet, becomes their first-ever mutineer, goes to prison, saves the Federation from a war most people think is her fault and gets “killed” in a highly classified, very suspicious incident involving an experimental starship and a series of red lights that appeared across the galaxy like a divine omen (oh, and returns 900 years later to solve the dilithium crisis, kill the head of the Emerald Chain and save two entire star systems including her siblings' homeworld)

and last but not least Sarek & Amanda's one-of-a-kind hybrid baby. Spock, who gets accepted into the Vulcan Science Academy, tells them to go fuck themselves when they're racist about it, runs off to Starfleet instead, gets so famous his arranged marriage falls apart resulting in him publicly strangling his own captain to death except not really, steals the Federation flagship twice, invents time travel, saves the entire planet Earth, dies and comes back to life, goes into his dad's line of work and achieves peace with the freaking Klingons as his opening act, then after a long successful career suddenly dips to go do extremely dangerous underground activism on one of the most paranoid authoritarian worlds in the galaxy to unify the Romulans & Vulcans who've hated each other for over a thousand years — and he isn't around to see it but it eventually works. then he fucks off with the VSA's high-speed prototype ship full of the most dangerous substance known to science and gets sucked into a black hole of his own creation, never to be seen again. and this is just the stuff that's public knowledge!

then you dig into the novels where Sarek's ancestor basically makes out with Zefram Cochrane 5 seconds after meeting him and Amanda tells the press her husband has a huge cock

I love them