#thinking about femininity and queerness and mental illness!!!

[wordwings]

Thinking about Renfield again (of course). I’ve seen several comments on this site saying he isn’t actually a madman, because he was right, and I have to respectfully disagree! He was only a little bit right; power can be transferred through blood and Dracula was a powerful vampire who was communicating with him. That’s not all there is to his ‘madness’ though. He does still seem to have other delusions and other symptoms (it’s hard to extrapolate from the text and it’s not like Bram Stoker was an expert on this). It’s actually more poignant that Renfield is actually Mad, and also has worthwhile knowledge that the heroes ignore because of that.

[dragonpaint]

im going to McFuckin'g lose it i need to meet and hang out with queer people i can't stand being surrounded with cishet people anymore i'm going to Scream

[nuka]

I think what makes Our Flag Means Death so remarkable in terms of representation is not just the broadness of it, but the depth.

We have an indigenous lead character, but he's not only that. He's also queer. He's a romantic interest. He's middle-aged. His arc portrays surviving trauma and abuse. It also portrays mental illness. And it portrays breaking free from toxic masculinity. And it never tries to put him in a box when he explores his masculinity and femininity.

We have a non-binary character, played by a Puerto Rican NB actor, but their arc is not about their gender identity and their coming out is simply a case of "Just keep calling me Jim". They have a romantic/sexual relationship with a black character, and never is this relationship or either of their sexual orientations or Olu's sex appeal as a fat person or "who even is the man in this relationship hahaha" questioned. When they get into a poly relationship, it's just accepted, instead of questioned or even defined.

These are just a couple of examples. It's not that Our Flag Means Death is the only or the first show with queer/BIPOC/disabled representation, because it's not. What makes the show remarkable is the unique combination of queerness, ethnicity, age, disabilities, life experiences, etc. that each character carries within themselves, yet none of these characters exist solely to appear as representation of any minority on screen. Their identities are not glued onto them, they're ingrained, but in the end, they're just people. Just like in real life. Identities do not work as plot points. Being queer is not a plot point. Being non-binary is not a plot point. It's just a small part of the whole complex experience of life.

OFMD is a perfect example of telling a queer story that doesn't focus on telling a story directly about the queerness itself. Because we have stories about queerness already. We have so many of them that it just feels like tokenism at this point to see yet another story about coming out or forbidden love or anything like that, even if it's well made.

This show took me by surprise with every new way of representation it offered, because each time it did the total opposite of what I expected. It took all the tired tropes and said, "Yeah, see these? We're not gonna do any of that." It delivered something I never thought I'd see on screen.

It never explains the characters' identities to the audience. It simply shows them exactly the way they are and lets you decide whether you see yourself in them, and I think that also allows the audience to question their own identities, to explore gender and sexuality freely without immediately putting labels on things.

People who never thought they might be trans or non-binary or queer in any way discovered their identities through the show. People who struggle with mental illness or trauma saw someone like themselves portrayed with kindness and respect on screen and were finally able to extend the same kindness to themselves. People who are always left out of romantic stories because of their age or body shape or the color of their skin finally saw themselves portrayed as desirable and worthy of love and romance.

That is why so many of us feel that, in the words of Ruibo Qian: "OFMD woke me up."

[butchpeace]

Desisting and stepping out of “queer culture” truly has been eye opening for me. I’m an androgynous bisexual woman. I recently had lunch with my sister and her they/them friend and….man.

“They” can’t go 10 minutes without calling something gay. She’s self proclaimed “gay” (but won’t use the word lesbian despite being female-attracted). She compares herself to a twink. She wears a rainbow band on her apple watch.

All these attributes that should be neutral are suddenly gay. Dyed hair and piercings? Gay. Muscle tees? Gay. The dudes from Grease? Fruity. I joked about my voice being fairy-like (that is, whimsical and rather feminine) and that immediately became a joke on how I’m a fairy, as in, pejorative word for a gay man.

I’m amazed. How does a lesbian center herself so much around gay men and tiktok’s caricature of gay men? How does a woman who likes women compare herself to a twink, or a bear, or whatever? Lady. You’re a 22 year old woman with a septum piercing and a mullet. You’re 5 foot 1, maybe. You own every Barbie movie.

It’s like she’s layered trope upon trope upon trope and has lost sight of what she is. Does she know herself under all that verbal costuming?

Makes me sad. I dunno.

Gender identity culture does weird things to our brains and reinforces mental illness. So many trans identified women are just seriously struggling with their mental health, or neurodivergence, and are disconnected from reality because of it. I think social media and the lack of in person social interaction plays into it too.

I hope she wakes up, and I’m glad you did! 💖

[sapphicrow]

Re8 Characters as Crane Wives Songs!

Karl Heisenberg- Take Me To War

I think he would be this song because it’s very violent and argumentative, as he is. Also. The man literally is jam packed with the desire for a revolution and his design is heavily influenced by WWII elements. It’s a very simple connection, but suiting.

Donna Beneviento - Unraveling

I think this song reminds me of her not because I imagine her exactly as the serial romantic that the narrator of this tragic tale is, but because of the fact that she has dealt with a lot of loss in her life. Between the death of her family, then anyone she may have had in the village when Miranda ordered them to be massacred, as well as earlier her humanity. The idea of unraveling, or losing it per se, alludes to her characteristic mental illness. Shes off the rails, we love that for her, and so does this song. One of the main lyrics in the song is “But now my love is gone / and I am left unraveling” and I just feel that encompasses how she’s been abandoned to her dolls to wither out of sight. Also the song goes tailor, gardener, then carpenter and she is all of those things which I find to be a rather seemly match.

Salvatore Moreau - Nobody

Now, the artists themselves describe this as a queer tragedy, but I think I can yank it out of context a bit to fit the silly. Now, this song states over and over again how “nobody ever loved me like she tells me she does” and I feel that is a very manipulative statement. Moreau does not have much of a back story, but one of the original concepts for his character was that he was to have the woman he loved melded to his back in a somewhat perverse fashion where she would be forced to stay with him. This idea is encapsulated by the obsessive and toxic nature of the relationship this song portrays. If you really want to have a think about it, you could imagine it was the woman herself trying to justify Moreau’s actions to herself. However, I was thinking more along the route of how Miranda surely had to lead this poor fish on for him to be so devoted. I don’t mean romantically, but she most definitely was more involved to begin. Nobody ever loved him like she told him she does. That doesn’t mean she does, but it does illustrate how she taunted him with the idea of a mom, leading him to create this familial illusion in his twisted mind.

Alcina Dimitrescu- Tongues & Teeth

Now this one was a little tricky, I was torn between this one and The Wolf but I feel this one gives more of that cruel seductiveness we have come to associate with Lady Dimitrescu. This song is very blatant. “And when you come in quick to steal a kiss / my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear” I love to imagine our lady as a woman who relishes in her power, not one who is insecure in it. She will not shy away from her own strength, nor will she temper it for anybody. Tongues & Teeth tells it like it is- should you wish to be hers, you are going to get hurt. End of story. She’s going to hurt you. This is no accident, this is no fluke. She is violent in her very nature. But on the contrary to that, this is a warning. This gives you the courtesy to flee. I think she would want you to at least be willing to be broken by her in some capacity, which is why she would even say anything in the first place. Also. I think the song is a banger and I’d like to bang her.

Cassandra Dimitrescu- Show Your Fangs

Cassie is a huntress, a conclusion made among fans due to her final fight being fought within the Dimitrescu castle’s armory. She is strong and has a fierce playful energy to her, going as far as toying with Ethan with her lil “RAH!”s that admittedly did scare me a few times. I view this song as a sort of feminine war song. “I’m not your highness, a damsel left helpless by fright / I am a lioness, fierce as I walk through the night” Out of the three sisters, she is certainly the most combative. In addition to the obvious associations, I believe that the line stating that she is not your highness is a sort of jab at the title of countess. She wants nothing to do with that power. She is wild and bitey and feral. She is in no way a ‘proper’ lady. She refuses that idea outright and I mclove that for her.

Bela Dimitrescu- Steady, Steady

We all imagine Bela as the perfect, shining golden child of the Dimitrescus. She’s responsible, respectful, and just overall a polite little lady. But I think she’s more wild than that. The duality of this song orchestrates this view wonderfully. Sang in a slow, deep melody; “Steady, steady, you know when you’re ready.” This shows her prim side, I also like to imagine this as her mantra muttered between deep breaths as she goes to present her work to her mom. (She’s always well received, but she over thinks it a lot.)

And then the other side of this song goes in a more frantic, rambunctious tune; “I’m swimming in this dress like a child in her mothers clothes/ This ring around my fingers like a chain around my throat” and while I suppose the original intent was to allude to an unhappy marriage, I think we can point it towards the subtle resentment Bela holds towards her responsibilities and how she feels as though she’s not the right person for the job. Bela deals with a lot of impostor syndrome on this matter. I just think this song gives both sides of our dynamic blondie. (Alternatively for Bela, Hard Sell)

Daniela Dimitrescu- Icarus

Originally, Icarus was a tale of a young fool who got too close to the sun. It is also the tale of a boy who wanted Apollo BAD bad. Daniela feels very youthful and naive to me, she was locked up after all. I think that her mother acknowledged that she was desperate for outside interaction and that this was a threat to her, thus her seclusion in the library. However, in the end, her delusions of romance had her get just a bit too close to Ethan. “My love will fall with grace,” says the song. And so she did. She flew too close to the sun. Plus this song is super spunky and that gives Dani vibes.

Mother Miranda- Never Love An Anchor

Okay so. This song speaks of a shitty shitty relationship, one that’s maternal evidently. I believe this is symbolic of Mother Miranda’s connection with the lords. Heisenberg, who wound up in her control against his own will, shown respect solely for his success as a subject. Donna, demented and alone, was taken under her wing only for her to be defenseless when Ethan attacked. Alcina, mighty and beautiful, but weak and insecure in her own mind, left to yearn for her favor. Moreau, grotesque and ruined by Miranda’s hand, then allowed to spoil further as his desperate need for her love went unfed.

“Do you ever think of me and my two hands? And wonder why they never soothed your fevers? And wonder why they never tied your shoes? And wonder why they never held you gently? And wonder why they never had the chance to lose you?” On a separate note, I think this could be something Miranda thinks to herself as she fights for Eva. If her consciousness is trapped in the megamycete, it stands to reason that she is conscious in there. I wonder if Miranda ever worried if Eva could overhear the carnage she was causing for her. I wonder if she spoke to her, apologizing for not being a good enough mom. I wonder if the guilt would overwhelm her to the point she was crumpled on her lab’s floor, weeping against bare earth and mold, begging her to forgive her. Hm. Food for thought.

Bonus! Mirancina- The Moon Will Sing

[frankingsteinery]

been sitting on this for awhile because its a bit controversial, but its one of the main reasons i was pushed into the frankenstein fandom space so i figured it was high time to talk about it

ive noticed that theres this general opinion, both among scholars and present in more fandom-y spaces, that victor is somehow effeminate for what are ultimately symptoms of disability (fainting spells, being bedridden, hysteria, etc) as if being physically or mentally ill is something that is inherently feminine. i have read articles published by academics that victor’s sickness is proof of his “femininity,” which is why he wants to take on the traditional part of a woman, that is, childbirth (via creature)

even in general, and not on an academic level, it emerges in jokes or memes all over the place — people poking at victor for being weak, or sick, or a gay little UWU bean sub, because aw hes fainting all the time XD and he’s sooo dramatic! as if these things were somehow both his choice, and somehow innately feminine

so, not only is there this weird link people are attempting to draw between disability and femininity, but also queerness (particularly, ive noticed, being a “bottom” or “sub” — but thats a whole separate can of worms) and femininity. as if being either of these things is inherently girly or cutesy and thus worthy of being made fun of

there comes a point (particularly when these interpretations leak into broader understandings of something via pop culture), where, for lack of a better word, it comes off as fetishizing or romanticizing queerness and/or queer relationships

and while this may seem relatively harmless on the surface and comes off as just thoughtless jokes made in bad taste, it IS serious. not just within the context of frankenstein, but the general premise of the severity that even subconscious reinforcement of detrimental and stereotypical ideas should be treated with. its a slippery slope from jokes to notions that affect you and how you see the world

this is obviously part of a broader problem with the way disability, gender, identity and etc is thought about and taught, which results in people harboring all sorts of these types of underlying prejudices. its just that victor happens to be a particularly good example, wherein he is a feminized man that is ascribed as “weak,” and the attribute “weak” is ascribed to someone who has been historically analyzed as both disabled and queer. this has been reinforced for decades, and i feel like this treatment of his character in this way is so blatantly obvious and runs rampant while it goes nearly entirely unchecked — and also in the case of frankenstein discourse, its often a quadruple whammy (ableism, misogyny, transphobia, homophobia)

and the worst part is that it is so often completely unintentional, and the bulk of this sort of content are well-meaning jokes. i genuinely don’t think people do this in bad faith or out of malice, but spreading these concepts even in formats that appear to be harmless (jokes, memes) just contribute to and continue to spread these ideas and stereotypes. its frustrating because its hard to point out and bring attention to without coming off as nitpicky or overly sensitive because this sort of thing is just so SUBTLE, and these beliefs are so gradually learned and then reinforced on a subconscious level

i could go on but for risk of sounding redundant ill digress, however to be clear this is not me saying you cant view victor as transfem, or disabled, or queer (i do!), or to view him as feminine, or etc, but that you should look at the reasons for WHY you think so, and how you or others treat the subject when talking about it.

[chthonic-cassandra]

Was trying to articulate something about dynamics of pressured disclosure in my professional world and how I've tried to make sense of that and hold the stance of people deserving privacy while also struggling with the deep aloneness that if I did disclose a lot of things about myself that would not be welcome to many people, but I think really the point is just something about safety and confidence and being secure in the knowledge that it's not anyone's business that I'm queer or mentally ill or a survivor or pagan or whatever and if they think I'm weird because of the way I dress or the things I do or don't participate in etcetera that's not my problem. And it's a tremendous relief to be in an environment where I am respected and valued enough that I can do that.

And also that's nice to embrace my religion and gothiness and particular relationship to femininity more and to not care that my physical presentation (clothes + shoes + hair + body hair + perfume + [lack of] makeup) is to totally illegible to most people.

[velvetvexations]

RE: Lovecraft's racism

I don't have anything meaningful to add, just some personal anecdotes.

I started reading Lovecraft from some selected works books, and I didn't see any issue for most of it. I didn't know his reputation, and also I am European so race is not something that I am actively aware about (because POC here are extremely rare and mostly are rich tourists and exchange students rather than minorities). Up until he described Inuits as "dwarfish creatures who call themselves Eskimos".

Later I have read complete collections of his works and saw some absolutely horrific racist sentiments, and also now that I am tumblr-level socialist I can see all problematic innuendos in selected works as well, so it's in no way defense of Lovecraft. Just my addition.

P.S.: I also think that people calling Lovecraft exceptionally racist just didn't read a lot of popular USAmerican fiction of the time. Burroughs is IMO worse, or at least more obvious about it.

P.P.S.: There was a popular joke some time ago like "Lovecraft would go insane if he met me" that was made by white neurodivergent queer people, and I feel that it's weirdly tone deaf. We don't know Lovecraft's opinion on homosexuality or transgenderism, at all. He probably was at least somewhat homophobic considering times, but we just can't prove that he wouldn't have changed his mind if presented with science-based arguments, and autism is definitely not what he considered scary mental illnesses. His entire deal was being racist, not just generally bad person.

P.P.P.S. (wow): Also, not enough people talk about him describing political system of Great Race of Yig (or whatever they are called) as "a mix of socialism and fascism"

Actually, we DO know how he felt about queer people!

From a letter to J. Vernon Shea:

I guess it is true that homosexuality is a rare theme for novels—partly because public attention was seldom called to it (except briefly during the Wilde period) until a decade ago, & partly because any literary use of it always incurs the peril of legal censorship. As a matter of fact—although of course I always knew that paederasty was a disgusting custom of many ancient nations—I never heard of homosexuality as an actual instinct till I was over thirty…which beats your record! It is possible, I think that this perversion occurs more frequently in some periods than in others—owing to obscure biological & psychological causes. Decadent ages—when psychology is unsettled—seem to favour it. Of course—in ancient times the extent of the practice of paederasty (as a custom which most simply accepted blindly, without any special inclination) cannot be taken as any measure of the extent of actual psychological perversion. Another thing—many nowadays overlook the fact that there are always distinctly effeminate types which are most distinctly not homosexual. I don’t know how psychology explains them, but we all know the sort of damned sissy who plays with girls & who—when he grows up—is a chronic “cake-eater”, hanging around girls, doting on dances, acquiring certain feminine mannerisms, intonations, & tastes, & yet never having even the slightest perversion of erotic inclinations.

Even worse, from a letter to James F. Morton:

Have you seen that precious sissy that I met in Cleveland? Belknap says he’s hit the big town, and that he’s had some conversation with him. When I saw that marcelled what is it I don’t know whether to kiss it or kill it! It used to sit cross-legged on the floor at Elgin’s and gaze soulfully upward. It didn’t like me and Galpin—too horrid, rough and mannish for it!

The idea that this fucking dweep saw himself as the alpha male in the room is dadgum hilarious.

And yet, R. H. Barlow and Samuel Loveman (again) were gay. Did Lovecraft know? He met the aforementioned "precious sissy" at a gathering Loveman had taken him to. R. H. Barlow wrote a story lost to us called "I Hate Queers" which Lovecraft read that certainly sounds psychologically revealing, but his brief commentary on it really tells us nothing about the content and if it made Barlow's closet more transparent or not.

Derleth said Lovecraft "seemed" to be unaware they were gay, but what the fuck does that asshole know? Lovecraft personally explained the ideas behind his stories to him and he still fucked up the Mythos for decades with his bullshit. On the other hand, Derleth was bisexual himself, and I don't know how Lovecraft couldn't have picked up on it from this letter he sent him:

I can understand your detestation of sex irregularities in life as violations of harmony and I here fully agree with you. I had previously misunderstood you to mean protestation from a basis of morals, and on this basis I would have stood squarely opposed to you. I have known and still know many people who are sexually irregular, both homosexual men and women, and except for three cases out of perhaps 21, I have always found these people highly intellectual, fully aware of what they were doing, and in all cases quite helpless. Speaking perspectively and in the abstract, I could as easily conceive myself entering upon a monogamous homosexual relation as a heterosexual one—though perhaps practice would change that point of view. To quibble about mere words, I should not say that perverts necessarily lived inartistically.

As to if Lovecraft would have accepted scientific evidence in favor of queer validity, maybe. He was becoming a full-blown Actual Communist towards the very end of his life and his racial views, while still preferring to keep cultures separate, had gotten to the point where he believed a Chinese baby raised by White parents would be essentially the same as a White person, which is, uh, technically progress?

[the-golden-vanity]

💚 for the Terror. 💖🧡 and 📖 (but chapter(s) instead of entire book(s)) for Moby Dick

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

Ooh, it's time to make some enemies.

I really, really dislike the popular fanon characterizations of James Fitzjames. Depending on what particular flavor of queer a fanwork is depicting him as, the kind of... shallow femininity that gets forced on him makes me MASSIVELY uncomfortable. It often comes across as somewhere between homophobic and misogynistic caricature, personality stripped away and replaced with a pretty dress.

I can see where this started, though—the pre-Carnivale dress scene is something that's very important to a lot of Terror fans, and perhaps something that endeared them to a character whose Empire-loving, glory-hounding, "the atrocities I've committed are fun table conversation"-believing ways are (hopefully) unsympathetic to a modern audience. Still, I'd like to see more fanworks engage with that side of James Fitzjames—the tool of an empire that can never love him back.

This isn't to say I don't love queer or trans readings of Fitzjames! I just want to see the character still be a glory-hounding veteran of an imperialist war, and someone I can still believe would shoot rockets at bears.

💖: Already answered here!

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

I had to think about this one for a bit. I'd say it's the take that I see floating around on the Internet a lot that Moby-Dick is cosmic horror. If we're taking cosmic horror to mean the horror of the incomprehensible, the impossibly alien, the Things Man Was Not Meant To Know, then there is exactly one chapter that fits the bill—"The Castaway", which includes maybe my favorite passage of the whole book.

However, almost the entire rest of the book is our narrator-protagonist making sense of the whale, as if knowing everything he can about it is his way of coping with the devastating trauma of losing everyone he spent two years of his life living with.

It's almost reverse cosmic horror—rather than a sane man going mad from coming face to face with an incomprehensible monstrosity, our mentally ill (traumatized/depressed/bipolar/open to interpretation) protagonist makes meaning for himself by learning to comprehend the monstrosity.

📖: If you had to remove one chapter from the book, which would you choose?

Ooh, that's a good question. And a hard one.

Moby-Dick is, rather famously, full of chapters upon chapters of whale facts, some of which are even true. I will not be getting rid of any of those. Those are load-bearing whale facts. You pull them out, and the book collapses into a respectable revenge tragedy, rather than the earth-shattering psychological epic that it is. The whale facts represent both the fact that for long stretches of a sea voyage, nothing particularly exciting is going on, and you have time to contemplate things like the immense scarred brow of the whale, and also that this story is being told by a traumatized man who's going off on tangents because he really doesn't want to get around to the part of the story where he loses everything and all of his friends die.

If I had to get rid of one chapter, it would probably be "The Town Ho's Story". Of all the ill omens and tales of woe that the Pequod's crew encounter on their fateful final voyage, this one drags out longest and (to me) was one of the less memorable. However, I'm sure it's probably someone's favorite chapter. Many of them are.

Thank you so much, @georges-chambers/@alienmythologist! You gave me much to think about.

Ask me for my unpopular opinions about boat stories!

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

there are a lot of reasons i'm really, really impressed by how well sdmi portrayed the dynamic of an abusive relationship with pericles and ricky, and one of the big ones is how accurately they show what it looks like when abuse starts to escalate.

the extent of that is yet another thing that'll take a longpost of its own to go into, because it spans like.... the entire arc of their relationship in the show. but one thing that stands out to me in particular is their portrayal of the massive red flag that is a partner trotting out bigoted behavior against a group you're in. especially insults, and especially directed right at you.

this show has a LOT of fatphobia, jesus christ does it ever, and there are certainly some fatphobic tropes going on with ricky; but i've always been surprised and impressed by how many of the nastier ones they avoided, especially considering his role in the story and what his arc is about.

he is a major, nuanced character whose trauma is treated with full weight and sincerity. it's implied that his body type changed the way it did due to the trauma he went through when he was younger, and the ensuing mental illness, which is a pretty realistic experience for a lot of people. the things that happen to him are played for full tragedy and horror, when it would have been so, so easy for them to make light of it because Tee Hee Fat Guy and Tee Hee Male Abuse Victims Funnee. despite how his whole thing involves corporate greed, they don't go the route of portraying him as Gluttonous and Hedonistic; if anything he is very obviously not using all that money for even basic physical self-care, and the only time we ever see him eating anything it's when he's drinking wine grape juice with pericles. which, like, there's issues to be unpacked with that too, but jesus christ it's an improvement over what usually happens with characters like him.

he's a fat queer man who isn't degendered or made feminine in a mocking and/or predatory way. (there's nothing wrong with feminine fat queer men and they need more non-shitty rep, please and thank you god, but there is a lot of nastiness in the tropes they're often used for in mainstream media, and one of those tropes is when people consider 'fat queer man' and 'masc' to be oxymorons.) no one ever once calls him ugly; if anything multiple people in his life think he's attractive and desirable, for better or for worse. no one body-shames him. and no one ever mentions his weight.

except pericles.

'The Horrible Herd' and 'The Devouring' are two halves of a whole here, re: escalation of abuse. 'Devouring' is when the abuser goes full mask off and shit hits the fan; 'Horrible Herd' is the wind-up before the punch. HH is when ricky realizes things are getting Bad and he needs to put a stop to this now, and Devouring shows what happens when he tries, because by the point where it's gotten bad enough to give him a wakeup call it's already too late. it's how abusive relationships tend to go, and it's chillingly accurate.

and what's one of the things pericles says during Horrible Herd when that punch is winding up? something no one's ever said before now, including him? 'you pudding-faced dummkopf.'

he body-shames him. he insults his weight, and that's a major turning point. bigotry is something that's often there to some degree from the start, but not always, because some abusers are good at hiding things like that until they're confident they've got you where they want you. the message with ricky and pericles is loud and clear: when this happens, the walls are dripping blood. get out.

(if you can. and be careful when you try.)

when this show is good, it is really, truly good. god damn.

[stedebonnit]

I'm so emotionally ruined from that episode and I just need to say once something that's been said a million times by so many incredible people, but it bears repeating every time: OFMD is revolutionary in so many ways. It is a story about queer love that is both tragic and hopeful, painful and comedic. It shows us that queer love is messy, but it is also so, so healing.

OFMD is a story that features homophobia, but that doesn't make homophobic violence its main focus. Don't get me wrong, this show is not free of homophobia. In fact, that is part of what makes it so revolutionary in a world that tends to favour either explicit, violent homophobia, or that creates a world in which homophobia simply doesn't exist. While there is a space for both of these types of stories, OFMD is neither, and that is so fucking powerful. In this world, Stede battles homophobia tooth and nail before he can realize his love for Ed. In this world characters are called weak for expressing femininity, people are confused by those who don't conform to the gender binary. This is very much so a world where homophobia and transphobia exist.

That said, this is a queer story not about homophobia, nor is it a story that centres homophobic violence as a way to be edgy or to touch a nerve. It handles homophobia with care. It talks about compulsive heterosexuality and how that can warp your world view, it talks about how misogyny is often tied in with homophobia. It doesn't shy away from the issues, but it trusts that the audience understands them enough that they don't need to be thrown in with violence and cruelty in order for people to know its wrong.

Truly, this show handles everything from trauma, mental illness, homophobia, bullying, self esteem, to transphobia with such care that I just feel truly safe with these writers.

I spent some time being afraid, especially considering how divisive the fandom can be at times, worried that this show would leave some of its audience wanting for more, feeling neglected or unheard. After these episodes, I trust these creators to handle each inidivual story with care, I trust them to give everyone who saw bits of themselves in Stede, in Ed, in Jim, in Lucius, in anyone, the time and space to have their stories heard.

I just think its so beautiful.

[sweetfirebird]

I am not involved in the drama in any way, and Threads/Twitter/Tiktok always seem to have some bookworld incidents happening and figuring out all the details is too much work most of the time. But I did see part of the current situation that I believe began on Twitter, in which a person allegedly ragged on a book for having smut in it, and also allegedly mocked people for reading and liking smut. The tweet got like several million views apparently, at which point the author of the smut saw the tweet and commented about it *on her own social media. Her comments were apparently a defense of smut and smut readers. She did not link directly to the tweet but she didn't blur out the username either because the tweet already had several million views.

Allegedly.

Anyway. Then the original tweeter...? Do we say tweeter? Whatever. Started getting some feedback they did not like, and a whole thing happened where original tweeter then accused the author of harassment, and then of pedophilia, and then of going after a queer person on the internet, and there were also some charges of "an author invading reader spaces." Allegedly.

And with the author receiving angry DMs from strangers, and the original tweeter presumably also getting them and perhaps getting ratioed as well though I have no idea, I think it might have sunk in to the original tweeter that purity culture pedo accusations, in the real world, when written down and posted publicly, are potentially libelous and defamatory because those tweets got deleted. And now it's just sort of tense and a bunch of feathers are ruffled and both tweeter and author are dealing with a lot of attention, most of it negative.

Anyway, I am only commenting on it because it was interesting to see a)purity culture policing perceived degeneracy and b) the very common purity culture wild overreach to accuse someone of pedophilia because something isn't going their way both happen, then get shut down in real time by an adult who is not from fandom and probably has a lawyer.

It was also interesting to once again watch someone act like a dickbag (as people outside and inside of fandom are wont to do) and when called out on it, fall back into the "but you can't criticize me, I'm queer!" position, and when that didn't work, attempt, "but you can't criticize me, I'm mentally ill!" position as well.

I've seen authors, youtubers, and tumblrites all try to hide behind those excuses and it makes me furious every time. I turn into the lady who wrote the book Chicago is based on who is angry that all those women used femininity to get away with murder. Anyway. (She hated those murdering bitches though)

Also, for the record, reviews in public are fine. Yes even negative ones. Reader and review spaces do exist. However, Twitter is a public space. Public. It's not reader and reviewer exclusive, so yes, authors will be there too. And if something goes viral, they don't even need to be on Twitter to see it. It will find its way to them.

Trashing something you (allegedly) have not read in public is also allowed, for the record. But like with all grown up type things, speaking or doing things in public means other people will see and hear you. Perhaps even the person whose work you are trashing and sometimes, they are not going to react nicely to that, and that's something you need to accept when you do shit in public. Which most of us do, btw. Not to be all 'we live in a society' but....

To sum up, the purity culture bit was fascinating to me. It was textbook. Adults reading a novel with erotic content are bad and anyone who says differently must be a degenerate pervert and if you can't find evidence that they are, then stretch to find some. Attack anonymously and accuse anyone who speaks in support of them as supporting pedophilia, and then, when the accused argues in their own defense, make sure to add that they are also attacking you, a person of marginalized status who did nothing wrong.

Only unlike on Tumblr, there were consequences. (Whispers of a C&D on the wind)

There was also an interesting bit of discussion on something that has been bugging me for a while too. The advice used to be, authors do not respond ever to anything, comments, reviews, tweets, etc because authors were the ones with the power compared to individual reviewers. And that made sense. But in a modern social media landscape where the reviewer (or in this case, more of a shit talker) could have thousands or even millions of followers, *is* the author the one with more power? Especially in the world of indie self-publishing or even trad-pubbed authors being failed by their publishers?

That's a whole other interesting discussion that needs to be had.

But I am going to go back to pretending to write now.

Just remember, kids: public means p u b l i c

And yay! smut!

[intersexfairy]

the word bitch is a misogynistic and queerphobic slur. it's used to pejoratively refer to women who are dominant or angry. and when applied to men, it takes on the reverse meaning - a derogatory term used to call men weak or subordinate. it's often used to imply they're queer (often gay or trans). the term also originally meant female dog, and was first used to describe women who were highly sexual (like a dog in heat). thats not dehumanizing at all (sarcasm).

i can't make you stop using it pejoratively, but in the case where someone is actually wrong, asshole is a good alternative. note that being weak and subordinate, or dominant and angry, aren't inherently immoral. everyone has weaknesses. at some point, everyone needs to stand up for themselves or has trouble doing so. everyone gets angry. everyone has points where their anger overwhelms them.

it's only human, and that's part of why these terms are often ableist/sanist as well, actually (given mentally ill people often have trouble with fear and agender). you call someone an asshole when they're not standing up for what's right, or admitting to doing wrong, not when they've been hurt and can't fight for themselves. you call someone an asshole when they're hurting someone else, not when they've been hurt and are standing up for themselves.

the idea that these things are wrong ends up punishing marginalized people for sticking up for themselves or being "too womanly," and that is what the B slur is ultimately about. it's become so common that it doesn't just harm women or queer people. by nature of what it demeans, it hurts everyone - marginalized or not. like i said, it's all only human.

that said, people can reclaim it. for example, it's often used by gay men to approvingly describe assertive or feminine men. it's used similarly by feminist to describe assertive women. and honestly? that sounds a lot more fun to me that using the term to hurt people, especially when there are plenty of other words (curse words included) to choose from.

and even if (you think) it doesn't hurt anyone, surely, it couldnt hurt you that much to just change how you use it. it's just a word afterall, right? or do you just want to keep the power and superiority it gives you?

[safety-pin-punk]

Hey Key,

It feels appropriate to ask you whether I can vent this but I figure tumblr anon communication is a bit slow.

So I was on my way back to my college town on Easter Monday

An acquaintance (not friend) of mine visited family in the same city so we decided to take a train together

Frame of reference: I’m 25NB, she’s 20FTM (she prefers her feminine given name and she/her since she isn’t actively transitioning yet)

We are both physically disabled and mentally ill

Being the queer neurodivergent I am, I went !!! at her and immediately started talking because hey, commonalities!

Half an hour in we moved on from physical disability to talking about the mental stuff and I mention I’m self-do autistic. And she goes “Nah. You can’t be.” And I go “Huh?” “You’re too talkative! You’re ADHD, yes, but you are too social and talkative to be autistic.”

Like… gee, man, maybe because we have met a few times and immediately clocked you as queer and neurodivergent? You think that might be why I’m comfortable talking rapid-fire?

“Nah, we don’t know each other that well, so that can’t be it.”

Right… and then she told me she doesn’t “want to endorse self-dx” because she thinks she might be hypochondriac and therefor any and all self-dx or preemptive diagnose “might make things worse because I think it’s worse than it is”

Like, yes, I understand and she explained she does experience psychosomatic symptoms in response to being stressed/ burnt out. I don’t deny psychosomatic responses. I believe that.

But also she straight-up refuses to look up anything that might help her?? When we were talking about physical disability (we both have chronic pain) I immediately pulled out my phone to send some coping ressources and self-help stuff

And she went “no, I never look at [coping] things, I worry if I read that, I will just convince myself that I’m worse than I actually am.”

Which, okay, reasonable boundary…

I told her about how I started using a walking cane, on my own, decided for myself that it helps. And also how most of my splints/ bandages are self-bought and self-administered because no doctor acknowledged my chronic pain so far.

And she goes “I sometimes have days where I have to drag my leg. I’m like-paraplegic when my psychosomatic symptoms get to their worst. But I would never use a cane! I don’t want to stand out, you know? I don’t want to catch attention.”

And I’m sitting there screaming internally like “You are entitled to be seen! You deserve accommodations! You just said some days you could use a wheelchair!! What the FUCK?!”

Yeah… and the longer our talk goes on, the more I read between the lines that she believes “if I do everything right, it will mostly go away”

Like, she forced herself to stick to “fibro-diet” to combat her rheuma and fibro, which is great on the surface. And then she tells me she forces herself out of bed and forces herself to cook, even if she doesn’t feel like eating, but she just pushes through because “the anti/inflammation diet can help with rheumatism”

And just– …my internal screaming continued.

I don’t want to dislike her! I recognise she’s young(er) and she’s naive and blue-eyed. While I’m just a cynic who’s been depressed for the majority of my life and I stopped giving a fuck about “not standing out” because my neurodivergent ass is too autistic and too ADHD to interact with people without standing out

Like, I’m ““high-functioning”” but at the same time I’m the kind of autistic who never had the chance to fit in. I have always been and will always be “the standoffish weird kid”.

But I just feel bad for her and at the same time I know I don’t want to become friends with someone who’s this blue-eyed “it will all be good if I just do the right thing”

I’m frustrated with her as an acquaintance and I just know if she tries to become my friend I have to give her sooooo many lectures

Among all these other things about how she is allowed to be non-binary and how she doesn’t need HRT to be trans and how she doesn’t have to cower in fear of changes HRT would do to her body because even if she’s binary FTM nobody’s forcing her to go on testo.

Just… so much frustration after this one 3h train ride :/

Fully agree, tumblr anon communication is very slow. Especially on my blog. I go through moods where I answer a bunch of things at once and then dont for a while. (sorry) Long post under cut

First of all, I am so sorry about your friend invalidating your self-dx autism. Personally I'm all for self-dx, anyone whose dealt with doctors long enough knows how hard, how many hoops you have to jump through, and the amount of time and money required to get diagnosed with ANYTHING. I've definitely dealt with my fair share of non-medical professionals telling me both "You dont have this thing I have" but also "You definitely have this thing I dont have".

I see why you are frustrated by someone seemingly not wanting to help themselves. But it seems like she is trying, she just has never been exposed to the right resources to help her. Its kinda like. I went to a SUPER christian university, and there was this gay guy, wonderful dude. His view of his own queerness though? I had only read about people like him online until I met him. He was a pastors son, his whole life he grew up knowing that being gay was wrong and bad. He never had access to the resources he needed to learn how to love that part of himself. Not his own fault at all, but by the time he got to college, there was no changing his views. He now goes around preaching to other kids about his experiences being gay and how he represses it because God. He absolutely broke my heart.

My point it, your friend is young and naieve. She probably has never had access to the resources and information you have. Her experiences have probably been *wildly* different from yours. You can't force a 'fuck it' attitude onto someone like that. You just kinda have to wait and hope they grow into it on their own. Theres nothing wrong with not wanting to be friends with someone like that though. You are responsible for currating your own social experiences. I completely understand your frustration with the whole situation though.

[davekat-sucks]

I left and rejoined the fandom a few times because of strange fan behavior and the fact the story was just not fun anymore and it fizzled out. The last time I left the fandom was because everyone made John into June and I didn’t understand what made him seem like a girl. when I asked someone, in a genuine way, and not in a trolling way, that someone I asked told me “John’s always been feminine. He’s super compassionate!” I was so angry at that. I remember that was the only time I was fuming over the fandom. That’s when it hit me. Being a girl to these people is being nice and compassionate! It’s just personality traits! Being a girl is a look, a fashion trend, a lifestyle to adopt! I starting to think that being transgender might just be a big joke to these people. That or I was being trolled but I was on the Offical June Stans tumblr page (no I don’t remember what it was called)

I was fuming so much I was ready to be done with Homestuck entirely but then I saw how many people thought that John’s depression and suicidal out look on life was so trans! It made me even more angry! Being trans meant being suicidal and isolating yourself! Then they went off about how Reality Doesn’t Feel Real to John which is also super trans and not just the protagonist of the story noticing he lives in a story.

Dissociating from reality and being mentally ill was what they made being trans out to be.

It was a BIG slap to the face for me. A wake up call that all the support I was pouring, not into HS but into my ideology, was a lie. I realized I was contributing to hurting people. Hurting the people I thought I was helping at it hurt me so bad. I was angry at how the queer community was destroying its own members. I am so thankful for the Homestuck fandom though, why, because it showed me the depths of the lie I was brought up to believe. That kids who grew up online are just malleable tools that can be brought up to believe in anything. We could destroy peoples careers, we could harass content creators into saying “trans rights” all while ignoring that trans rights were giving puberty blockers to teenage girls. Fun fact… did you know that teenage girls need estrogen in their system to have their spine fuse together as they grow. Now we have paralyzed kids. Now we have a high fail rate of bottom surgeries.

If I’m not mistaken didn’t you just describe the plot of Y12000 not too long ago. That is what I mean. These people think that this is activism. This is something to be proud of. I hesitate to call anything evil but this is the closest thing to it I can think of. Getting children to believe that this is what progress is. Destroy peoples bodies and minds. The worst part is is that we can’t get these people to wake up and see what is going on around them. If i speak up, I am the one who is evil. I am the one who is trying to hurt people. If I could help, I would. The only thing I do now is try to talk about positive things because I know what it is like to be in the depths. But every so often I need to say this. I am so deeply saddened by the fact that fandom is a tool used to hurt us all. Activism is a wonderful thing but now it’s been taken over by a belief system that soon will crumble from all the medical scandals.

Now anyone reading this might think I am a transphobe. No. I think that transsexualism is a thing, but most everyone actually trans says transsexual when referring to themselves. These new trans people are just making stuff up like “egg” and “xir” and disrespecting real trans people. I follow someone named Dimitri Monroe. He is bullied constantly for being a feminine man but not being trans. They call him trans and want him to realize that he is an egg that needs to hatch. I don’t know if it is because they need him to fit in the perfect little box they made for all feminine men to be in or because they want to make him into a sex object. Some times people online view trans women as breeding stalk and it’s so sexist and demeaning.

Okay I wanted to add this to what I wrote up,

Now I see that people are making June “VirskaMaxxx” which I assume means roleplaying as a girl he likes. I saw someone say something on here about Virska wanting to be like Mindfang, I don’t understand how their minds work anymore and I don’t have the stomach for it anymore. All I see here is people who think trans people are just role playing women. Trans people are playing make believe. What is anyone supposed to think in response to this? Being trans was just a fad. Being trans is like being mentally ill?

And those who disagree that are part of a certain minority group, they are outed as things like traitors, apologists, or faking their sexuality/race. It's crazy people are using stuff like the word coon ironically at another black person that does not agree with the rest of the community. The With Us or Against Us mentality has taken it to the extreme. Some don't realize that what they are enforcing is toxic positivity. Even too much of a good thing can be just as harmful. They would also subconsciously act similar to ones they hate. Like they say they hate pedophiles, but then they tell minors that sex work is fine to do. People should also be aware of the effects or reasons why the world works as it is. Like consuming too much cholesterol can cause harm to the body both short and long term if not treated. Some really have started to think science is bogus if it goes against the feelings. It just reminds me of religious fucks who dismiss science and say God is the reason why x thing happens. But instead of God, it's the overconfidence that they they believe their own words is true and everyone else is against them. People are also really reaching for something to be like an allegory for it being about trans. It's like people who read a book, book describes about a curtain being blue, and someone thinks it is about depression, when it's not and just an obvious observation to give an idea of what someone has in a building. Interpretation can be fine, but sometimes the thing is what it is and doesn't have to be that deep.

[supersoakerfullofblood]

Great Books About Gender Identity

Seeing some posts about how new-adult romance novels popularized by BookTok don't show genuine queer experience and largely tokenize queer characters. And look, the prose of these books is ass too. One of my reading interests is how themes of gender/masculinity/femininity interact with other elements in a novel, and with the culture from which the novel was written. I've read a lot of great books on the topic!

As a disclaimer, most of these books don't have explicit queer representation. I read a lot of old books where that wasn't a thing you could openly write about, but you could write about cultural perceptions of masculinity/femininity (a lotta people still didn't like this, but like, you usually weren't stoned for it), which is where modern queer theory and identity comes from! So if you want to feel understood by a novel, here are my book recs on gender, in no particular order:

The Earthsea series by Ursula K. Le Guin: a series of children's fantasy novels that build the foundation for modern children's and YA fantasy (Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, some Neil Gaiman, Brandon Sanderson, etc.). Men and women's roles in society and relations with magic are a major theme in the series, and while no character is queer (though there's a reference late in the series about witches living together), characters are always bound or freed by the gender they express. Also, all the characters are black, which was unheard of at the time of the first book's publication (1968) and is frankly still unheard of today. And it's just a fun read!

The work of Virginia Woolf: My favorite author and one of the largest players in what we today call gender studies. Highly recommend Orlando, where the titular character changes inexplicably from a man to a woman halfway through the novel (it's tempting to call them "the first trans character," but the label feels disingenuous. Transsexuality as we know it didn't exist then, and Orlando didn't choose or want to switch genders. It just happened to them); A Room of One's Own, Woolf's essay on life as a woman author; and The Waves, a book less about gender identity and more about wholistic identity.

The work of Kate Chopin: Chopin is a huge player in starting the feminist literary movement of the 20th century, influencing the work of many authors on this list. If you can stomach Victorian prose, Chopin is for you!

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath: Plath's novel is written from an intimately feminine perspective and wrestles with questions of mental illness from such a perspective. A must-read.

The work of Oscar Wilde: Thrown in jail for a bit for likely being at least a little gay, Wilde's writing frequently riffs on and critiques gendered social customs. Highly recommend The Importance of Being Earnest, Lady Windermere's Fan, and definitely other stuff of his I haven't read yet.

The work of Madeline Miller: I think Circe is the only "BookTok book" I've read that I thought was good, and boy is it fantastic. Its ideas of gender feel a bit cliche or elementary at times (Circe sometimes reads like an "empowered girlboss" stereotype), but how it plays with this identity at the same time it plays with Circe's identity in her family and pantheon make this book special. And Miller really is a delightful prose stylist. Galatea is also pretty good, and I haven't read Song of Achilles yet.

The Hours by Michael Cunningham: based on Woolf's Mrs. Dalloway, Cunningham reprises Woolf's themes for a book set in the 90s! Great read, and another master of the craft.

The poetry of Sappho: The popular conception of Sappho is that she's this girlboss prodigal lesbian in a patriarchal society, which isn't true. There's definitely some truth there, but it's much more nuanced, and certainly Sappho couldn't conceive of the labels we put on her today and those labels' connotations. In any case, her poetry is some of the first, if not the first, love poetry from a feminine perspective.

Any piece of literature about slavery/colonialism written by a woman: This is a broad category, but the intersection of femininity and race is a broad topic which many writers fall into. You really can't go wrong here. My recs are Toni Morrison, Jean Rhys, Zora Neale Hurston, Oroonoko by Aphra Bein, and Jean Toomer. I still need to read Gwendolyn Brooks, Octavia Butler, and Alice Walker.

The work of Shakespeare: You can't go wrong here. Obviously not explicitly queer, but many of his plays deal with cultural gender perceptions and, of course, crossdressing! Twelfth Night is probably his strongest play on this front, but The Winter's Tale and Measure for Measure are both great here, and most of his plays have at least a little commentary on the gender front.

Leave other recs in the comments/rts! :)