#thinking about c!pearl a Lot

[boxofoxberry]

we never left the tower fr ❤️

[ahli-stuff]

Crying thinking about fyodor at 5 am vibes

i don’t know what it is about him that initially made me love his character so much but if i were to put a finger on it it would be his sickly god-savior complex rooted in isolation and narcissistic self hatred

Why did he turn out that way?

Headcannon time:

Haven’t you heard? The Dostoyevsky family was cursed by a demon. Vanished without a trace. First it was the mother, the father, then the son.

- fyodor’s mother tried to kill him as a child—ability users were even less understood back then and she saw him as a devil spawn

- the first time fyodor uses his ability is when his mother kills him. He is reborn as her. (Still a child, though)

- since he inherits his previous incarnation’s memories and desires, he inherits the strongest emotion his mother felt when she tried to kill him: hatred for ability users.

- fyodor, traumatized from that experience forgets what his mother had done when he was a child, forgets his mother’s memories, believing she had left him with her ring and swaddled in her clothes before disappearing into the night.

- even though he has forgotten, he still has an unexplainable intense hatred towards ability users.

- his father was a kind and meek man; believing that she had simply disappeared and left the two of them he raised fyodor the best he can as a normal boy.

- though fyodor does dearly love his father, and his father loves him, his father notices that fyodor acts uncannily similar to his mother.

- contrary to his wife, fyodor’s father is not extremely religious, which is why he finds it strange that fyodor is.

- it comes to a head when fyodor is 17, and his father is deathly ill from tuberculosis. They do not have any money to spare, and fyodor does his best to work but there is not enough money.

- !fyodor remembers there is a nasty, old, pawnbroker whom he had to sell his mother’s silver ring to to afford his fathers medicine. (You know where this is going…)

- carrying a hatchet in his hands, he corners the pawnbroker when she arrives back to her flat, drunk.

- he tries his goddamned best to kill her, but he is malnourished, small, and weak. He trips, and the axe falls out of his hands.

- in an panicked attempt to defend herself, the pawnbroker picks up the axe and kills fyodor(for the second time.)

- he is reborn again—except memories from when his mother killed him in his youth begin flooding back. The pawnbroker’s, his mother’s, and his own memories melt and form a horrifying amalgamation in his mind.

- he takes what he can from the pawnbrokers house, and runs. He takes his mother’s ring back. He sells everything but the ring the next day.

- when he presents the medicine to his father—his father, enraged and feverish, sits up in bed and asks him where he got the money to buy it from. He must’ve stolen. But from where? Reading the newspaper earlier that day shows that the pawnbroker has gone missing, with all of her belongings and money.

- when he looks a fyodor and looks into his eyes glossy white eyes and dead-empty expression… he knows. Feverish, he wonders, if fyodor had been the reason his wife had vanished too.

- fyodor—having been killed and having “killed” two people watches his father’s rage in a dissociative manic calm.

in him, resentment for his nature builds. This is what ability users can do, huh? This is the pain they can cause. He knows his father will die if he spends another day without medicine. He knows that he father will not accept the medicine from him.

And so—he lets his father wrap his hands around his throat. This is fyodor’s mercy.

He leaves his home after that, his father and mother’s burning desires still fresh in his mind: kill all ability users.

Footnotes:

*this also fits asagiri’s style of writing: he often switches the personalities and/or circumstances of his characters in bsd. Akutagawa being dazai’s apprentice in bsd vs dazai vying for the akutagawa award in real life. Dazai mocking chuuya in bsd vs chuuya mocking dazai in real life.

*In this hc, fyodor’s mother is the one who is heavily religious, whereas in real life it is his father. In this hc, his father is ill instead of his mother who was in real life.

*And my favorite switch of all: the pawnbroker from crime and punishment killing raskolnikov (fyodor) instead of the other way around in the the actual Crime and Punishment.

*QUESTION. What intense desire did the fyodor get from the pawn broker? This one’s fun. The desire not to die—it makes the next time he kills an ability user using his ability that much more excruciating.

[the-froschamethyst4]

How To Stop an Argument 101

————

Husband! Barrage Headcannon

SFW & NSFW

Quick AN: I would like to say in my first Barrage fic I placed the name Cal/Calvin in it because that is what I’ll be calling Barrage as his first name, there isn’t much info on him so I decided that his name will be Calvin or Cal for short

————

————

SFW

He knows exactly what he is doing when it comes to “distracting” from the issue at hand

Recently you were under a lot of stress with work and the holidays coming up so quickly that you just needed some help from Barrage but he wasn’t pulling his end of the deal and making some things worse

You were in front of the tree trying to wrap presents for him and some family members that were coming over for the holidays but he was being no help

Watching the game on TV, being loud, and drinking beer while you wanted to watch a Christmas movie to be in the mood

“Cal, please turn it down.”

“Hon, I can’t hear what they are saying though.”

“We have a basement you can turn the TV up as loud as you want down there, I’m too overstimulated.” You say while trying to not pull your hair out.

“There’s only a few minutes of the game then I’ll go downstairs.”

“No, Cal…please do it now, I can’t think.” You say putting your hands on the side of your head.

Barrage sees that and turns the TV off and with no other word goes downstairs. He doesn’t want you to burst and there because more then just a simple discussion

You thank him but he just hums a response back to you.

That was just one out of many possible arguments that could have happen.

There’s been many days where Barrage just doesn’t take it seriously and starts pushing buttons

“Cal! Have you seen my necklace? I’ve been looking for hours now!” You call from upstairs.

The necklace was special, it was real pearls and real gold, your grandmother gave to you before she passed and you loved that necklace wore it any chance you got and tonight was a holiday party at your work but you couldn’t find the damn thing anywhere

“No!” He calls from downstairs. The overwhelming sensation of you possibly have finally lost it hit you and now you’re starting to get a little pissed off now, because you always say it in the same spot.

In your jewelry box on a small hook that only it sat on, no other necklace

You even went and checked the bathroom drawers just in case but nothing

“CAL! PLEASE COME HELP ME FIND IT!!” You yelled getting frustrated

“Hon, it’s just a necklace.” He says coming into the bedroom.

“It is not just a necklace it’s my most prized possession, and I know I didn’t just loose it, I place it back in my jewelry box every time I’m done wearing it, so where the fuck is it?!” You start slamming drawers now.

“Well, don’t break everything just to find this damn necklace.”

“Then help me!” You turn, red to the face and eyes looking like you’re about to cry.

“Hon, don’t cry-“

“Don’t tell me not to cry cause I will!”

You fall on the bed head in your hands, Barrage knew where the necklace was. He opens his nightstand drawer and pulled out the necklace.

“Here.”

“You had it!?”

“I got it polished for you. You know how the creases had that black stuff in it?”

“Yeah?”

“I got it polished and I was going to give it to you, later, but now is fine, sorry for hiding it.”

“It’s okay,” the tears stopped and all there was sniffling in the bedroom. “C-Can you put it on me?”

“Sure, hon.”

Arguments happen but the one thing Barrage kind of likes doing when he knows he’s in the wrong is flex, flexing his big muscles he worked hard on

“No, you’re wrong!”

“How am I wrong?”

“You really wanna sit an argue or are you going to shut up and let me talk?”

“Shut up?” Barrage leans back on the couch flexing his arms that were behind his head.

“Stop that.”

“Stop what?” He smirks

“S-Stop flexing.”

“I’m not flexing. I’m just relaxing.” He says

“…” you couldn’t look away, you love them too, the way he can just pick you up with ease, how when you two have sex you claw at them sometimes breaking skin

“Fuck off,” you say walking away knowing he won that argument but he knows he was wrong

When you start getting a big heated and you start throwing out the bro, dude, bruh words

“Dude I swear to god if you-“

“Did you just ‘dude’ me?” He says

“Yeah and?”

“We have sex…you really wanna be throwing the word dude around?”

NSFW

Having an argument in the middle of sex just turns Barrage on even more.

This man is fucking toxic

He could start an argument over nothing then ask if you’re down for sex afterwards

Honestly thinks it's funny when you rant about your rough and hard day as he goes down on you and you can't think straight because his tongue and mouth feels good on your lower half

When Barrage comes home from work, he'll sometimes be surprised you stayed up to wait for him, only for him to now take his frustrations out on you, while he rants about his day, now

Does he start random arguments? Yes. One day he started one when he came home to no dinner on the table, and express how he would like to have dinner on the table before he comes home, he was smirking the whole time knowing you have the trad wife bullshit

So, he knows what he is doing

"Ex-fucking-cuse me?" You say, hands on your hips, fury burning in your eyes, and knuckles turning white.

"You heard me woman, I want food on this table by the time I get home," he says.

"Fuck you, now! You get to fix your own damn food for now on, I'll be fixing my food while you figure out how the stove works." As you tun your wrist gets grabbed just for you to be bent over the kitchen table, and you feel his hard dick

"I'm only kidding, hon," he teases.

You hate when Barrage leaves his clothes all over the place, but he does it only to get a good view of his wife being bent over

"Calvin, pick up your clothes, how many times am I going to tell you? We don't live in a pigsty."

"How many times are you going to keep picking up my clothes to realize I'm only doing it to get a clear view of your ass?" He says, you stop and drop his clothes. "Hey."

"Pick up your clothes," she says.

Y/n can start arguments as well, if anything, you both are toxic for each other but you both don't care, you both know you complete each other.

Y/n fixed food for Barrage bring it to him in his home office setting it down on a clear spot and gives him a kiss on the cheek, and then one on his temple, then one on his forehead, neck, cheek again, and then lips.

"Hon, what are you doing?"

"Just kissing you," you tell him as your hands start teasing him, messing with his shirt, then to his belt, getting it unbuckled and then moving your hand before walking out.

"Oh damn, I forgot, I have some chores to do around the house," you say, blue balling your husband.

"You fucking, minx," he growls.

You loved teasing him, I mean the bastard does the same shit to you, why not do it back? You're not hurting anything...maybe his pride, but he'll be okay

"Fuck baby." Barrage held your waist, you bend over his desk, the food wasn't even on his mind anymore, it was how good he was going to fuck you, how good he was going to make you feel

"C-Cal, s-slow down-"

"No, you don't get to make demands here, you teased me and now this is what you get," he says.

[cocklessboy]

I see a lot of people saying that gender-affirming health care like top surgery for trans people like myself should be freely available (which is correct), but one of the reasons they often give is that top surgery is very safe and has a very low rate of complications compared to other surgeries. And I often see transphobes clutching their pearls over the few people who do have complications. What about them?! What if you're one of the unlucky ones?! Should we really let those transes risk it??!!!

Setting aside the fact that no one raises such concerns over other types of surgery, I'd like to use myself as an example for anyone who needs one.

In May of 2022 I had top surgery (double mastectomy). The surgery was done by a gynecological surgeon, not a plastic surgeon, because that way my insurance would cover it.

The surgeon did his job and removed the breast tissue, but he did not make it look pretty. I have dog-ears at both ends of both scars (extra bits of skin that hang off in a very unappealing fashion), my chest still looks unnaturally flat with no muscle or fat despite a lot of working out, and one of the stitches didn't heal properly and was left as an open wound through "secondary healing" for several months before it finally healed over into a very large scab (and eventually a very large scar). My nipples are uneven and irregular and look... well, just awful, really. Due to bad genetic luck, I wound up with keloid scars which, instead of getting smaller and lighter over time, have instead expanded, becoming thicker and darker. Worst of all, I now have chronic nerve pain in my chest. My GP thinks the surgeon must have hit a nerve during the procedure, and now I have random sharp pains all over my chest even now, nearly ten months later. The pain might improve with time, or it might not.

I basically had almost every possible complication one can have from this surgery short of infection or death. Some of the aesthetics might be fixable with more surgery (though plastic surgery will be expensive). Some are probably permanent. I might never feel comfortable taking my shirt off in public again. I might have to tattoo over the scars.

And pay attention to this next bit, because it's the most important part of this whole post: I do not regret the surgery. Even with all the complications and the ugly state of my chest and the pain. If someone said they could push a button and make it so that the surgery never happened and I'd have a perfect, unmarred chest with C-cup breasts again, I would tell them to take their button and fuck right off. Because even with basically the worst of all possible outcomes, that surgery was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I don't feel good about taking my shirt off in front of people now. I do think my chest is ugly. But it's a male chest now. When I put on a t-shirt, it rests flat against my chest. No one will ever mistake me for a woman again. I'll never have to wear a bra or binder ever again.

The dysphoria I felt from having breasts was so severe that a hideously scarred chest and chronic pain are vastly preferable. The euphoria I feel when I look in the mirror with a shirt on is something I never knew I was capable of feeling.

And it's my fucking body, and it's up to me what I do with it. If I wanted to tattoo myself from head to toe, or file my teeth into fangs, or have a doctor break my legs and surgically implant extensions to make me taller, that's my right because it's my body. The fact that all those things are regarded as basically acceptable (if a little weird), but I had to have a dehumanizing interview with an old cis psychiatrist who hates trans people and wants us all sterilized just to get a piece of paper giving me permission to have my tits removed, is fucking absurd.

Top surgery (of any kind) is generally very safe, and complications are rare. But even with the worst outcome, a trans person will basically never regret it.

And frankly, if a cis woman wants her tits cut off, or a cis man wants a pair of boobs to play with on his own chest, more power to them because literally who gives a fuck what people do to their own bodies? I saw a dude on TV when I was a kid who'd tattooed his whole body to look like a cat, filed his teeth into fangs, and had loads of plastic surgery to surgically implant whiskers and make his face look more feline. It was weird! But literally no one said that should be banned because he might regret it. It's his body to do whatever weird shit he wants with.

The next time someone clutches their pearls and kicks and screams about how you can't let someone permanently alter their body in a way they might regret, feel free to point to me and my complete and utter lack of regret.

(Or have a little fun with it, go hard in the other direction, and say you absolutely agree, which is why we should ban ALL non-emergency surgeries until the patient has been FULLY evaluated by three psychiatrists - along with tattoos and piercings. Oh, and ballet lessons for anyone under the age of 25, since ballet changes the structure of a child's body FOREVER.)

[whiteeyes-is-a-mad-scientist]

The new seawing in the reef

Sunhunter waited silently in the sand. She hated being so… out in the open. Especially now. She jumped hearing a dragon rise from the water.

"Relax. Just me." Snapping turtle shook off a stray piece of seaweed. His spots gave a faint yellow flash in the moonlight. "If your here just to tell me that I'm in danger I know…" sunhunter frowned at the familiar look the seawing held.

"I'm here to offer you a way out actually." He trudged through the sand as it began to clump on his wet talons. He shook the sand off and opened his talon. Within it was an earring, a shiny pearl carved in the shape of a star. "Oh its beautiful… but how is jewelry supposed to help me?" Sunhunter took it into her talon to further examine.

"Argile made it so he could come with me into the deep palace. He doesn't really come into the ocean these days." He glanced toward the deep blue "it's enchanted. It'll turn you into a seawing as long as you wear it."

Sunhunter felt her scales shiver "Snapping turtle… I can't… all my visions... they come in water I don't want to imagine how awful it would be in the water…" she shook her head. "How do you know? You've never been in the ocean." He leaned forward "Sunhunter you don't really have a lot of options here. The skywings are after you… they can't go into the ocean."

Snapping turtle was right. The mercenaries and assassin's were getting more crafty. Even those against the skywings would give longing glances at her. No doubt gaging whether or not the bounty was worth it. "I..I dont know how to be a seawing.." she frowned "I don't know aquatic or how to swim or or-" "I'll teach you." Snapping turtle flashed a rare smile. "What about the talons? I still want to help the peace effort…" she looked at the earring. "Oh for moons sake forget the talons! This is your life in danger!" He exasperated "Sunhunter… please… I dont want to see you become some trophy for the skywings.." His eyes were weirdly desperate.

Sunhunter sighed and slipped the earring on. A deeply cold chill ran through her scales. She shut her eyes tightly as the world spun, she stumbled forward and met Snapping turtles chest. Past the pounding in her head she could hear him "Its alright… Argile struggled a bit as well…"

Her scales stopped tingling and the pounding headache faded. She felt snapping turtles wing on her back, brushing softly. She also felt her new gills, webbed toes, and flashy spots. She opened her eyes to find her new night vision. Also finding herself needing to look up toward snapping turtle "Oh making me shorter than you is unfair." Snapping turtle snorted "Welcome to being the short and stocky tribe."

Sunhunter stumbled steadying herself. She used to be shoulder heavy but now her weight was all over. She felt stronger despite being shorter. Snapping turtle stared and sunhunter rolled her eyes "I know I look stupid don't I.." "No.. I think you look good as a seawing. I like that the earring chose a mix of more saturated green-ish blue scales. Unique in pattern but not out of place for a seawing." He smirked "but I do miss your original look."

Sunhunters face scales felt faintly like her sandwing warm ones but it went away quickly. She smiled "I have a great hunger for fish now." "Beats those awful roasted tarantulas you used to eat." He stuck his tongue out. "You never tried them so don't start." Sunhunter raised her head, her shiny sea ready scales catching the moonlight. Watching the moons for a moment she turned back to snapping turtle "Well what should my new name be? Sunhunter isn't... seawing... like."

He glanced away "hm.. clam?" "Clam?" Sunhunter retracted "Are you saying I have a big mouth?" She glared. "No! I just- ugh ill get something else…" He rubbed his chin "I'm not good at names…"

Sunhunter sighed before flopping into the sand. A faint dizzy feeling hitting her like a wave "So when does the dizzness stop?"

Snapping turtled perked up as she curled into a C "Cove! Your new name should be cove." He smiled as sunhunter titled her head "Hm... I do like it... but it doesnt mean something dumb does it?"

"No no... A cove is just a small bay often secluded. The waters often have a greenish blue look." He nudged her with a wing "I can show you."

"Ok... but dont let me drown..." She steadied herself and headed toward the water

Snapping turtle chuckled "Of course."

[kpopscruggles]

The people are asking for more txt twt links w/ Headcons and your thoughts! Love ur writing and maybe a sunghoon nsfw alphabet? I read some and it's a bit innacurate.. Would love your opinion on it (also new follower so idk much abt if u already posted that *I'll do some reseach :>*)

Thank you for requesting love! I decided to go with the sunghoon a-z because I've never done one and I've alr made a haechan request! 

Nsfw twt are on hold due to me finding some but soon I will bring those back! Anway's enjoy! 

A- aftercare, what he’s like after sex 

I feel he def attends to your needs, he’s at least doing the basics. Wiping you down, getting you cold water and a snack. I feel like he also does this though because he does it for himself if I'm being honest.  

Even if you didn’t care he was going to do it for himself so why not make sure his baby is taken care of too? It just makes sense to him. 

B- body part, their favorite on theirs and partner's body 

For him, his favorite body part on himself has to be his muscle. He’s not loke drooling over himself more than he is you but he does give himself good rep because he can pick you up, move you into diffrent positions with absolutely no problem. So i feel he values his muscles because of you in a sense. 

His favorite body part on you is your legs, he loves your legs. He loves how they are always in his lap, wrapped around his waist, on his shoulders. He loves kissing your ankles while ponding into you, also bonus points if you're wearing an ankle. 

C- cum, anything to do with cum 

I think he’s a clean guy UNLESS it involves a creampie. If he’s wanting you to swallow then he’s staying in your mouth, you must bribe him little to give you a facial or pearl necklace. Now like I said if it’s a creampie it’s sticky, messy, a shower after type fuck.  

Add in is I do believe he cums a lot, now realistic but he's got a nice stream going and is the type to squeeze his tip to make sure every bit comes out.  

D- dirty secret, self-explanatory  

Hoon’s got a few dirty secrets I believe but I think the main one he possesses and will never let you know unless you find out is bragging. And although this does not seem off but it's the fact, he could do the nastiest freaky things to you and has no shame in bragging about it when the boys try to tease him over it.  

This is something that he says between the boys and the boys, he doesn't get too personal with it, but he spills it by saying it’s something they should try with their girlfriends. 

E- experience, do they know what they are doing? 

I think if he had experience it's only have been one person. Hoon doesn’t strike me as the type who bounces around, for example you two could have dated months and he’s going to be sad ab it for a bit because he takes him time to know if he wants to date or not. 

So, one person but he’s mostly learned everything he’s fond of by himself, by watching porn, reading about it, etc.  

F- favorite position 

I don't think Hoon is basic, but he does use positions that slightly branch from the basic ones. Also keep in mind he finds ways to use his muscle. So, it falls under missionary, but he most has your legs on his shoulders and his moving your hips for you. It allows him to use his arm muscles, he's able to kiss around your ankles because he loves your legs. If not that then most the time it is quite simple missionary. 

G- goofy 

No, unless a simple mistake happens, he's profoundly serious cause he thinks sex is intimate. 

H- hair, how groomed is he? 

I think he keeps himself groomed and trimmed is his favorite. I think there is something about him that likes to keep the bit of hair because it is a human body and its gonna grow. Now he’s not freaking out if it grows a bit longer than planned nor is he judging you because your pussy is pretty to him no matter what. 

I- intimacy, how are they during the moment 

Super intimate, sex is a moment where in your relationship you're showing each other love and affection. Even after an argument sex is something that helps you both realize you love each other. He’ll do anything to have intimate moments with you because he genuinely does cherish them.  

J- jack off, how often? 

A lot. I am a firm believer Hoon has a perverted side and sometimes he’s too embarrassed to admit a simple thing got him hard.  

I also do believe he’s a firm believer of the fact no one can make you cum like yourself. He thinks you should even have moments where even though you have him you nor he should be ashamed of pleasuring yourself 

K- kinks? Top three 

Top three for him is Marking, Teasing, and A bit of overstimulation?  

Many people like to make these kinks rough, but they don't have to be. He likes marking because to him he loves when you nibble on his skin while he fucks you, He loves seeing you squirm a little or having you leave him with a raging boner even, overstimulation he likes because to him it kind of reveals how much or how eager you two wants each other with no shame or remorse for yourself to stop.  

L- Location, favorite places  

He enjoys just sex in the house (he may like the couch more than the bed) but if he’s out he doesn't mind meeting you somewhere private. It’s strange he has that vibe too because I also feel like he gives car sex after a few dates. 

M- motivation, what riles him up 

Anything you do sexually obviously riles him up but something nonsexual that gets him every.single.time, is when you wear certain colors. He thinks romantic colors like red, pink a dark purple, or a nice clean white takes him out every time, double points of the outfit is revealing 

N- no, turn offs 

He’s jealous that something I'll has to agree with most people on this app. Does that mean he won't share? Not technically. (not shipping when I say this) but he won't do threesomes unless it's with someone close, we can you jake as an example. But he’s only gonna do it once and all jake is getting is head. 

Another ultimate turn off is when things feel forced, not like one forcing the other but more of if he feels you are just having sex because you haven't in like a week, yeah, it’s not getting up so don't bother babe, he thinks sex takes time.  

O- oral, preference of giving or receiving 

He prefers giving, I believe. It doesn’t bother him when you wanna give him head, he just doesn’t feel that same ego boosts as when has got you whining while he’s fucking you with his tongue. So, unless he just has the urge to cut down your throat, he’s probably gonna stop your mid-way to ravish you instead. 

P- pace, fast? Rough? Slow? Sensual? 

He’ll get down with everything I do believe. I think if he’s feeling more sensual, he’s keeping his thrusts slow and deep so that orgasm just builds up by the minute. Rough, this is my opinion, but a lot of ppl do make him seem the be super rough, but I don’t think he’s like that and if he is it’s only when you're asking for it. Other than that, his rough is a lil messy and a couple marks but I also think he keeps a medium pace and just makes sure every inch of him fills you. 

Q- quickie? 

So, when I said in the turn off category, he thinks sex takes time. If you get a quickie outta him it’s a giving you head quickie because if his baby needs to cum he’ll gladly help. Other than that, I don't believe out of enha he's a quickie guy. 

R- risk, what are they willing to risk for sex with you? 

If you seem eager to do it, then he’s making his baby happy. If it’s not ruining anything in any way, he’ll do it for you. If it’s something he’s willing to risk, then it was never important is what he'll tell you. 

S- stamina? How many rounds 

I think he can carry about three rounds in his belt, if it's a needy situation 4 but if that's the case then 1 or 2 of the sessions someone is getting head so eventually your guy's breath is caught up. I do believe he spaces these sessions out if it's a 4 rounder but barely does this happen. Other than that, he’s going about three rounds  

T- toys, do they like them? 

Yes, so as said, he does think it’s healthy for you two to have sessions by yourself and you can use toys together but if you two use them when it’s just your personal time.  

U- unfair? Do they often tease? 

He thinks it builds up the need for others. He would love it if you teased him too. I see him as a competition teaser where you two see who gives in first. 

V- volume? Are they vocal? 

He’s a 50/50, what he’s always gonna do is dirty talk, no matter if it’s whispering or full-blown words. Now vocal as moaning wise, he lets out the soft moans, but only the overstimulation hit where he gets louder. 

W- wild card? Something that just randomly makes him relentless 

Knowing someone's listening or watching, or even knowing what you just did. If you are leaving your space after sex and one of the guys makes it obvious then he's getting hard again knowing there’s someone who knew he got to be balls deep inside you. It riles him up knowing he’s that lucky and that someone is jealous enough to tease and try to make fun.  

X- x-ray? What's he giving down there? 

I think he’s skinny but decently big. His tip always stays a pink, he’s got a couple semi prominent veins depending on how long he’s been edge or has held a boner. His balls are settled too, nothing rlly different there, like said he’s nice and trimmed so has a little hair patch. All around he gives pretty dick vibes.  

Y- yearning? High or low sex drive? 

High or normal. Most the time high which I feel is why he’s a guy who takes his time, this man is not thinking about being buried in your cunt 24 hours of the day just for a quick fuck.  

Z- zzzz, how fast he falls asleep after 

He’s tired but he’s not going to sleep without letting you know he loves you and that he enjoyed making you cum, sometimes even tells you thank you. Give a couple of kisses and make sure you're comfy.  

[bonny-kookoo]

THAT WAS A COCKBLOCKING ENDING AAH mommy could you pretty please give a continuation to that drabble

To distract everyone from sad life rn. Very much nsfw.

--

He's on his back on the bed, hands pulling you closer by your legs, helping you crawl over his face, knees digging into the mattress below right next to his head.

"I've got the world's best view right now.." he chuckles breathlessly, hands on your thighs, touching the warm skin. "Come down a little- yeah like that.." he eagerly instructs, before he licks up into you, while you brace yourself against the headboard of his bed. He's bought a bigger one a few months ago because you sleep over so much- and soon, it'll be because you permanently stay here with him.

But right now, that's not on your mind, as he moves his head a little to dip his tongue into your core, nose nudging against your sensitive pearl.

Sucking him off always gets you all hot and bothered as well, after all. He's got a nice looking cock, and he sounds even better when you're doing it just right- be it with your mouth, or your hands, or your tits- or your thighs, one of his personal favorites. He's always been quite vocal about how much he likes them, lives to grab them or just run his hands over them. There's no room for insecurity with him.

"Kook-!" You gasp out when he sucks at you, hands moving to spread you out for him better, tip of his tongue drawing circles around your clit before he flattens it, and runs it over. He urges you to move, but you're not sure about that. "No- what if I'll suffocate you?"

"Then I'll die a happy man's death." He laughs, drunk off of the whole energy of it all. "Come on, please! I wanna see you all fucked out, princess." He whines in complaint, and you slowly start to grind over him, earning a happy hum from him below, his piercing on his lower lip feeling a bit odd sometimes.

Slowly, you become more sensitive. More needy.

You don't even notice the way you're using him to get off, his tongue and nose and the way he occasionally sucks just too good to really help you think straight. It's when you near your orgasm that you try and slow down, always a bit hesitant because you tend to become quite loud, but Jungkook isn't having it.

His grip on your upper thighs becomes stronger, pushes you down on him where he gives it his all, licking you up quickly past the edge, making your muscles tremble.

Because he doesn't stop, but instead pushes you further- right into a new race to the finish line.

The moment he realizes you're struggling to hold yourself up, he helps you lay down instead, a hand sloppily wiping his face before he leans in to kiss you, uncaring about the filth of it all. His hand pumps him ready, makes him aim at your core before he slips right in, pace hard and fast right from the start. He's mindless, especially when your mouth falls open and eyes close, hands gripping the sheets above your head while he watches in fascination how your white foamy essence covers the base of his cock, balls slapping against you with every thrust of his hips.

He wants more.

His kisses are all tongue and shared breaths, biting your lip and having you tug on his piercings just because, as he slams himself in deep as he can go. You're seeing stars, quite literally, eyes blind as your orgasm hits you a lot faster than anticipated, causing you to be unable to do anything but whimper out, voice interrupted by his never faltering pace.

And he cums, too, spurting whatever he's got left inside you, breathing heavily as he stays in place for a second, before he moves just a bit, gently this time. You're sweating, both of you are, but he's not ready to call it quite yet, even though his own legs are wet with your most recent peak of pleasure.

You're slurring out his voice, drunk off of it all, as he rocks his hips more slowly, sloppily, dick slipping out every now and then, having to be lead back in by his hand, your core gaping whenever he's leaving it unoccupied. His own cum covers his length, helps in lubrication as the bed rocks, hinges ready protesting loudly.

He'll buy a new bed, who cares.

His body begins to protest, shuddering at his upcoming release, making him uncoordinated as he keeps pushing back in and out, whining out his own pleasure before his hand sloppily rubs over your swollen bud, bringing you a more gentle last release as well, clenching around him as he pulls you in, and falls to the bed next to you, adjusting your legs to stay inside you.

"Koo.. m' all gross.." you whine quietly, but he shuts you up with drunken kisses, hands on your body caressing your skin.

To him, this isn't gross at all. It could never be.

To him, this is love.

[ceratedfish24]

Your takes on c!Scott and flower husbands have honestly been so refreshing that its reignited my old Hot Takes on c!Jimmy bc I detest the way people characterize him.

I feel like so many people portray Jimmy as this dejected downtrodden victim of bullying, which feeds into a narrative that Scott was cruel and abusive and awful or whatever, and tends to act like Jimmy doesn't have any agency ever. But IN REALITY??? Jimmy is not downtrodden and dejected and sad!!!!! In my opinion, Jimmy's defining character trait is his unshakable TENACITY! Ppl never want to admit that Jimmy is a little shit! That he acts out of spite, that his friends' teasing only tends to motivate him!! He *thrives* in environments that challenge him! AND to be so for real, he is a grown man with agency and decision-making skills and I'm tired of people acting like he isn't.

In general I feel like people just have the wrong outlook on him as a character. Maybe they've just collectively misunderstood him, or a Helpless Miserable Victim is easier to write about in fic, or they just want to project their own bullying-related trauma onto him or whatever. (People do similar things to Scar when talking about desert duo, which I understand even less). IDK. These are just my thoughtssssss sorry for rambling :P

No because you’re literally so real for this. Jimmy is SUCH a little shit. His response to Joel being mad at Jimmy for trying to kill him was to SHAKE HIS ASS AT JOEL. He taunted Joel because Jimmy successfully used Lizzie to bait Joel out. He tried to guilt trip Scott into giving him time. These aren’t negative qualities. This is a guy being silly with his friends. Embrace them when writing c!Jimmy. These are wonderful and realistic qualities.

Jimmy’s tenacity is so remarkable. He gets knocked down and all of his friends tease him about it, and he stands right back up with pep in his step. A lot of people treat Pearl the same way. Like, guys, these people are adults who make their own choices, and, often times, people who are given free will are not going to make the responsible choice most of the time when there are no real world consequences to their actions other than maybe “I might not get to be in the finale of this Minecraft series”.

There is SO much favoritism in the Life Series. Jimmy and Pearl are always reduced to their greatest tragedies, while Scott and Cleo are reduced to their most selfish moments, even though everyone else is equally selfish because IT IS A DEATH GAME. IT IS A COMPETITION. THAT IS THE POINT.

A lot of Jimmy’s deaths tend to be his own doing. Whether he unnecessarily made an enemy or just wasn’t being careful, a lot of Jimmy’s deaths are his fault, and that’s fine. He likes to play into bits. He’s not that serious about winning as opposed to making fun content. Pearl has made her fair share of mistakes and enemies, and that adds plot and drama to her content. That’s how she plays it, and it’s fine! Don’t infantilize them for dealing with the consequences of their actions just like everybody else!

Scott was widowed, and he had to watch his allies die before he did for seasons. Nobody ever comforts him about it. Nobody says “oh this man is so sad he’s just doing his best but he can’t keep his friends alive and it’s eating him up and everyone should baby him”.

Nobody even calls Joel toxic for constantly targeting Scott, but somehow Scott is toxic for teasing Jimmy now and then? (Which is not to say that Joel is toxic. He just finds it fun to target his good friend and knows where Scott’s limits are. It’s actually a sign of how close they are in real life). Nobody calls Etho and Bdubs toxic for being so mean to each other. Nobody calls Impulse manipulative when his whole thing in Third Life was betraying people. Nobody says Ren is controlling for taking the lead in Dogwarts or calling the Renwood Mound the Ren Mound. Scar is a liar and a scammer and no one thinks less of him for it.

Do you wanna know why? Because they’re friends having fun. Scott and Scott’s character should be treated with that same respect given to everyone else. Also, people need to keep in mind that Scott is not actively playing a character. Scott is just playing the game the way that cc!Scott wants to play the game, so any in depth analysis of Scott’s “character���? That’s an over analysis of cc!Scott in a competitive environment, and that man is literally on this site, people. He knows about Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss, Girldad. I’ve seen him reply to analysis posts on why Scott is manipulative. He’s literally just a guy playing a game for fun.

Imagine if someone accused you of playing an evil and selfish character because you asked your friend to give you the monopoly money they owe you. Or, worse imagine if someone accused you of playing a manipulative character because you let your friend land on your monopoly property without paying you????? Because you love your friend??????? Like, excuse me????????

Thank you for the ask!!!!!! 🩵🩵🩵 It’s always flattering when someone calls my posts “refreshing”💕💕💕(also I see you all the time and I love seeing your additions to my posts💖)

[pluralescentmoon]

as promised, the "pearl is a system who doesn't know it (yet)" propoganda totally-an-essay for @thecoolerliauditore

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS ABOUT THE CHARACTER. NONE OF THIS IS ABOUT CC!PEARL. I ALSO DO NOT THINK SHE'S DOING THIS INTENTIONALLY. this is just how I'm choosing to interpret her character, because it makes things a LOT more interesting. this also works under the assumption that life series pearl and Hermitcraft pearl are the same character, so if that's not your vibe, that's fine! this is just your warning. I am also not saying all alters in every system has specific roles, or triggers. and if you dont know what im referring to at any point in this post, please let me know! I'm just trying to explain my thought process in a clear and concise way, even for those who don't know specific details about those under the plurality umbrella.

mild wild life spoilers ahead as well! you've been warned!

so! pearl has a bit of an unusual habit of how she refers to herself. she tends to do it in parts. she gives them identities, names. roles. example of this being, post master pearl, the cleaning lady, scarlet pearl, editor pearl (yes this one too i PROMISE I promise it'll make sense). each of these are like specific "characters". they're masks she puts on, to play the part of that specific pearl. they have their purpose, their roles, their clothes (separate skins). each of them are similar, but still unique and distinct from each other.

each one of these pearls has a purpose, a specific role they play in her life. they're specifically called upon for their tasks. for certain things, there's a pearl for it. it's almost as if these pearls have triggers that pull them out for specific reasons that seem important to helping their shared body…

an example of this is, there was a point recently in Pearl's season 10 where she was rebuilding her storage room. and, she found herself in a familiar set of clothes. taking care of the mess, as the cleaning lady. which leads to interesting implications! c!pearl feeling like she needs to change into another set of clothes to do something like organizing her chest, and call herself a specific title while doing so

cc!pearl has even said she sees her character as having phases (like the moon lol). and that she likes wearing specific skins (clothes) for them.

I think these specific pearls, these segregated parts of pearl, are her alters. alters that have specific clothes they prefer to wear, triggers to pull them to the front, and roles they fill in the system.

now that brings up the question, what are their roles exactly?

we'll start with the easy ones!

Normal Hermitcraft Pearl - Host. the silly. she's a goofy gal, the one we see the most. she's also given these other parts of herself names, based on the tasks that they carry out. she just thinks she's putting on a few different masks for each of these characters, and does not realize what's going on at all.

Post Master Pearl - this would be the one who works in the post office, the one who wants to deliver the mail. she's their work alter! she mainly does stuff with the mail system, including building the top part of some mailboxes or retrieving the lost parcels

Cleaning Lady - this one feels pretty self explanatory. she likes to clean and organize, and I think she could be contributed to a caretaker, as I'm going to contribute the SOUP thing to her, since it was season 9 more than anything else. she's here to clean and make sure they have good meals, but gets stressed about it sometimes. she also absolutely has nightmares about Grian's storage prank lol

Scarlet Pearl - abandonment/trust issues given form, scarlet would be a protector/trauma holder. we saw her forming in double life! she's the reason pearl seems to go from being fine with Scott, to snarking him. i think host pearl is, consciously or not, trying to suppress scarlet pearl from fronting in wild life, as host pearl does want to be friends with scott again… because she doesn't remember the extent of her trauma from double life. not the full of it anyways.

I have a lot of thoughts about protector scarlet pearl ngl but we'll get back to that. there's one more alter to talk about first.

I also have some thoughts about her having a Santa Perla introject because of Sausage's influence, but that one is less solid. still, she gets an honorable mention.

and now the biggest one. somehow the silliest one, and also the one I feel the strongest about. editor pearl.

editor pearl is of course, a silly OOC joke… but the implications of her existing are so very interesting. if we take the videos to be how pearl remembers things, if we take them as how she would tell things to others, then this means there's things that are purposefully… cut out of what she remembers. things that change context, or that are even almost… too much to remember. it's like she has someone there, taking snippets of her memories away. making her forget them, making her retell events in different ways than others.

that's what editor pearl is.

editor pearl is the alter that takes care of their memories. she cuts out the parts she doesn't want pearl to remember, because they're too traumatizing, they arent important, or she doesn't sees them as worth remembering.

this affects how pearl sees not only herself, but everyone else around her. conversations are forgotten by her, but not by the other side. the way certain memories are framed change drastically when you can only remember the parts that someone else WANTS you to remember. editor pearl is a memory holder, who just wants to help their system out by keeping the Good parts. she's gives pearl what she thinks pearl will want to remember, which means pearl only tells the parts editor pearl approves of.

I think, with everything going on in wild life, pearl is well on her way to discovering just what's going on inside her mind. whether she wants to, or not. scarlet pearl can only be held back for so long, and pearl has been doing that for two sessions now.

oh, sure, scarlet was allowed to snark in the first episode. but the second episode, comparing it to Cleo's POV… there's things missing. things cut out. entire conversations left completely out of Pearl's version of the story.

I think editor Pearl and scarlet pearl are working together a bit. cut out the memories of scarlet saying she wants to throw up at the idea of being family. and so many other little lines. cut it all out, make it easier to remember, easier to deal with.

because, after all, they just want to do their jobs. they just want to help, to make life more bearable. to make everything okay. host may not want them to, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her…

but this isn't built to last. not with host pearl keeping scarlet locked away as tightly as she is. sooner or later, something has to give. and sooner or later, they'll figure out what's going on. I have a feeling it's going to be messy, because pearl (scarlet) doesn't like feeling like people thinks she's crazy. and this will only make her feel crazy before the end.

but it can't last the way it has been. eventually, something is gonna break. or, maybe instead someone.

this isnt going to go well for host pearl.

[omegamoo]

i genuinely feel really really deranged about the scott cleo pearl teamup with impulse hanging out. like. like

okay i think that, from the perspective of a guy who mainly watches scott, one of the fascinating things about the life series is his relationships with the divorce quartet. while ofc theres a ton of fandom focus on the flower husbands, and lots of in-series references and a huge impact on both of them, cjimmy and cscott have largely gone their separate ways.

but scott, pearl, and cleo? GOOD GOD. the life series for c!scott is this revolving door cycle of loving and hurting between those three - and martyn but thats another post. scott and pearl do everything for each other in Last life. they are the dynamic duo of all time. they're strategic, they're strong. and they do the same thing with cleo when she joins the group. scott is would do anything for them - the boogeyman curse is RIGHT THERE. this: the loving.

i think in some ways double life can be understood by the widow's alliance in third life. when neither scott or cleo can find their soulmate, they choose each other. when their soulmates finally appear, it's too late, because there's nothing there except the echoes of teaming in last life. they're not an alliance right now, there's no reason why they should be. and scott just won, just dealt with killing everyone he knows and having that blood on his hands. he is at the most toxic part of his arc, and he is not afraid to hurt pearl and justify himself when she hurts him. he loves cleo. he is hurting pearl. he loves pearl, still, though i think - he hasn't forgotten last life. i just think he doesn't know what to do with that.

you can dig into all kinds of compartmentalization of scott's feelings here - he kills ren to win in last life but also in revenge for ren killing pearl. he was terrified when he thinks about what happened in third life with jimmy - when jimmy died, he was catatonic, a shadow of his usual self. i think there's a lot of what he does to pearl in dl that stems from this - he can't allow himself to do that again. he can love and love and love, but not if it means he's weak. this is the hurting, and it never stops.

and of course scott's self sacrificial tendencies... i think he still loves pearl at the end, and for him, the biggest show of love is to give up everything. so he gives pearl the win! done and dusted. surely that will fix everything, except it DOESN'T, because pearl doesn't need that from scott. she doesn't need him to kill himself for her - she wants to be able to take back all of that hurt from the season by killing him, even! but she says she forgives him, because she recognizes what that means and what he just did. or because she wants to win, or because she loves him, or whatever. or all of it.

i think the end of secret life showcases that very well. when pearl chases down scott in the finale, she shouts that they have unfinished business, that he still owes her something that he took from her in double life. she says she forgave him at the time, but she didn't really - they haven't talked. that hurt still lingers, still aches, is still festering.

and now they're TEAMED UP AGAIN. because they love each other. because they don't know what to do without each other. because scott and cleo will choose each other over and over and over again, because scott loved pearl infinitely and endlessly in last life and was still willing to give her the win in double life. because out of everyone, at this point, they know each other best. AND THEY EVEN SAY THAT. "out of everyone, you know what we're like." is it a healthy decision? no. they can't communicate anymore, they have all of this festering between them and scott and cleo are pretty toxic and unlikely to apologize... and they can't stop bringing it up, because it's this elephant in the room.

it makes me sick. these guys are bound by the red dog chain of fate. they can't stop loving each other and because of it they will never stop hurting each other. what the FUCK

[krashlite]

C!Pearl’s a character who people usually only analyze from DL onwards, with her Scarlet Pearl arc influencing future seasons. However, I think it’s very important to look at LL when talking about her, since that season formed a lot of her fundamental viewpoints in this game, viewpoints she’s forced to unpack in later seasons.

LL was the most chaotic and violent season BY FAR, even including LimL! The deaths in LimL were very much gamified, while in LL every life counted. The main lesson the three newcomers learned is that the world is cruel and they can never truly trust anyone. Well, except Pearl didn’t learn that second lesson

Mumbo and Lizzie both spent LL in a constant state of either panic or confusion, with there being a few very brief breaks between. This is the case for LL in general, but with the newcomers it’s so much more startling. They don’t know how this goes, and they see Experienced players paranoid alongside them.

Not to mention Mumbo and Lizzie were constantly put in situations where they couldn’t trust the people around them, whether it be because of a boogeyman or any other reason. With them being in a group of 4-5 people, there was a much higher chance of them being betrayed and they never let themselves relax

Pearl definitely experienced the same panic and confusion, but she adapted much quicker than they did. This is mostly due to Scott being her ally- him being pretty consistent and calm as a person. Not to mention, Pearl only had a single person to worry about, when other alliances had 4-5 people to consider. Any one of them could turn and still have a place with the other members, but a group of two didn’t

(Also sidebar, 3L turned into a game of factions, so in LL everyone immediately started with factions, the exceptions being Ren, Lizzie, Pearl, and Scott. Ren was recovering from his Red King arc and ashamed of his former self, while Pearl and Lizzie were new and hadn’t been adopted into a group like Mumbo had. Scott’s reasoning for picking a small group is that he only stayed safe in 3L when him and Jimmy were fairly isolated, so that’s why he will usually opt for a group of two. Anyways)

Since Scott Only had her, he wasn’t about to turn on her and Pearl knew this. When Cleo later joins the group, she isn’t a risk either due to the circumstances of her joining. Cleo was betrayed, they were killed by a boogeyman in their group. BigB’s betrayal hit so hard that Cleo named him her sworn enemy. Why would they turn on Pearl if this affected them so much? Pearl is able to lean on them comfortably, even as the rest of the server begins to target the alliance (for a green name I might add! Pearl was safest for the longest amount of time this season)

Pearl could trust her team, and her team was honestly well provided for. They had nether goods, they had a spawner, Pearl had enough lives to keep them stable for a few deaths. They’d managed to defend themselves against Constant invasions and weren’t backing down anytime soon.

As for others, Pearl only ever saw them if they wanted to rob her or kill her, having very few interactions outside of that. This establishes that theft and threats are one and the same, with robberies threatening their resources and their survival and threats being, well, threats

The main lesson Pearl learns here is that her team are the only people she can trust, and she trusts them wholeheartedly. They will always have her back, they will always steer her in the right direction. The world is hostile, but they’ll face it together. What Pearl doesn’t learn is impulse control. Her impulse control came in the form of Scott and Cleo, with them being much more cautious than she is

Because of them, Pearl made it to the final four in her FIRST SEASON. This is incredibly impressive, Especially considering how, again, LL was the most violent and chaotic season. She might’ve fallen in the final melee, but she rested easy knowing her teammate won. She had gotten him there, and counts it as a personal victory

When DL rolls around, Pearl employs the same tactics as the last season. LL had a very quick race for resources at the start, specifically for sugar cane and goods from the nether. So Pearl assumes it’s the same thing. She’s preparing for the same chaotic environment as LL and is reassured by the soulmate feature

In her mind, her soulmate is her one designated ally. She trusts them wholeheartedly and assumes they feel the same. No matter what they face, she knows they’ll face it together

Except that isn’t what happens

As it turns out, Scott was her soulmate. But she overlooked one key detail about him- Scott plays it safe. He doesn’t endanger himself unless absolutely necessary. She’d previously assumed it was a matter of practicality, but really it’s a means of defending his own peace above all else, even at the expense of others

So her little trip to the nether with Martyn didn’t just endanger them, it endangered their soulmates. It endangered Cleo and it endangered Scott

Their response is to abandon their soulmates because they felt abandoned. They don’t feel that they can trust their soulmates because of the fact that said soulmates were prioritizing a dangerous mission over them. Except Pearl doesn’t understand this. All she sees is that they abandoned her after she went on a dangerous mission For Them, a mission she would have been previously praised for

Pearl is dropped by the very people she trusted with her life last season, and she doesn’t know Why. To say this crushes her is an understatement

It wasn’t just a rejection from her former friends, it’s a betrayal of a fundamental worldview she developed last season. How could a group that was basically family abandon her just like that? If her designated ally wanted nothing to do with her, then whats the point in trusting anyone?

That last question is pushed to the side, with her insisting on Tilly being her true soulmate. Tilly would never abandon her, she can trust Tilly wholeheartedly. Except Tilly dies almost immediately afterwards, starting her Scarlet Pearl arc

(And I do want to say, I consider Tilly to be fully Dead. The second wolf was a different wolf entirely, but Pearl was in a state of delirium and wanted so badly to have someone to rely on. If it couldn’t be another player, then it would be her dog. Funnily enough, this actually comes up later but that’s an asterisk*)

This arc was basically a constant downwards spiral for Pearl. Any foundation she had was immediately uprooted, any alliance she formed immediately fell apart. This stressed her out to the point she wasn’t sleeping and frequently acted out against the people in her surroundings. Pearl was not maintaining herself in the slightest, her mental state affecting those around her. The main examples I can think of is her stealing horses and sitting in powdered snow to punish Scott, both of which do have explanations

Again, Pearl is basing her actions off of LL, even if she doesn’t realize it. Her alliance was robbed over and over again, usually for things like sugar cane and nether goods. These are things that are high value because they help a team survive. When it comes to pets and livestock, they really weren’t considered unless they were being held ransom. In LL, being stolen from was a threat to someone’s survival

Except this isn’t LL and Pearl is just starting to realize that, with every alliance being stable from an outside perspective. She’s using these thefts to test the waters. If something happens, she’s right to be paranoid and right to lash out. If nothing happens, she can relax, which she does! After stealing Scar’s horse she does briefly stop tormenting the server, instead going back to watching the others.

(^^ I might have the timeline wrong here btw it’s been a second)

As for Scott, her sitting in powdered snow has different connotations than it does for other alliances. She isn’t the only person to hurt her soulmate in this way, Scar actually being the one to suggest this. For Scar it was a harmless but irritating way to get back at Grian for kicking out the Jellie Pandas. It hurt, but it wasn’t meant to actually endanger the other (still abuse btw, just a different kind). For Pearl, her sitting in powdered snow was a tactic intended to make Scott feel unsafe. If he valued his precious security so much that he kicked her to the wolves, then she won’t let him have a moment’s peace.

But going back to the horses- stealing Ren and BigB’s horse was the moment things changed for her. This theft resulted in both of them dying, confirming the idea that thefts threaten someone’s survival. Except Pearl never meant to endanger them, as shown with her defending their items when none other than Scott and Cleo come to scavenge them.

When Ren and BigB return, it’s Pearl who gets blamed for the death, not the circumstances. The blame shifts from the world being cruel, to Pearl herself being cruel. Pearl is unable to cope with this, isolating in response. She sees every other pair finding peace and joy in one another, but she destroys everything she touches. In her mind, she IS the cruelty that exists in the world and nobody is coming to save her.

I think Pearl actually blames herself for Ren and BigB falling apart, which she finds out about when Ren and Martyn “summon” her. This actually affirms the lesson she Just learned, with her accepting the role of Scarlet Pearl. Previously, it was just an act but now it felt more real

She goes on to purposefully endanger others, seeing this as her true role on the server. Pearl had been wearing her red skin before this, but that was only to show her state of mind. Now, she was fully playing into this role, as seen with the fishing rod incident and, again, stealing armor from Boat Boys as a means of threatening their survival

I don’t think Pearl expected to be threatened in return, and her subsequent death did give her a moment of clarity. She was made to understand that her existence in this state was inherently risky, and she needed to be more careful. I think that was the driving force for her seeking out Scott and Cleo to form a tentative alliance. Pearl hasn’t forgiven them at this point, but knew she needed them if she was to last. This forces her to have some level of impulse control, instead of only relying on those around hee

Them being her failsafe put her in a difficult situation when it comes to her Scarlet Pearl role. She was a “Red,” that’s her job, but her team still needed her. But they’re not her team, but she needs them, but she can’t trust them, not after what they did.

But she has to, and that’s what ultimately brings her to side with them; necessity. She doesn’t like them, she doesn’t trust them, a sentiment they return, but she needs them.

The world is cruel, Pearl is cruel, and she needs to defend herself and her own peace- a lesson that, funnily enough, she picked up from Scott

Ultimately Pearl doesn’t learn to care about either of them until the moment she dies. ESPECIALLY Cleo, who ended up siding with Martyn in the end. But it’s Scott’s sacrifice that cuts through the callous she’d developed over the course of the season. He gave his life for her. Scott sacrificed himself FOR HER. The action doubles as changing her perception of him as a person and changing her perception of the world. Scott wasn’t the selfish man she made him out to be, and the world wasn’t filled with senseless cruelty.

Pearl hasn’t learned to trust again, but she’s able to begin the process in LimL

Enter: BigB

BigB’s someone who has had shaky alliances over the ENTIRE series. This started in 3L when the other two Blue Sword Boys ended up on opposing sides of a war, him trapped between them. He learned that season that ultimately he was the only person he could trust. In LL, his initial decision to stay with Cleo then the fairy fort was one made out of necessity, NOT trust. BigB was a sitting duck on his own, and he wasn’t about to have a repeat of last season he got targeted over and over again for being isolated.

And I do think that he cared about the Fairy Fort, they gave him a sense of genuine security that he hasn’t had before. So him being the cause of the Fairy Fort’s collapse gave him a Crisis

The last person he was able to trust that season was Ren, and Ren ended up being his soulmate in DL. Except due to the cheater’s arc BigB blames himself their demise in DL as well (Again, there was shared blame across all parties I made an entire long post about this already).

So BigB is going into LimL with the same lesson Pearl has just begun unpacking; They are the cruelty/danger that exists in the world and can never truly rely on anyone

(Also second sidebar, this is something I love about LimL. Everyone coincidentally got an alliance with matching wounds, but moving on)

The first thing Pearl actually does this season is try to retrieve Tilly, her dog she thinks is still alive. (And here’s that asterisk*) what actually happens is Martyn jokes that he cremated her dog, and Pearl’s unintentionally forced to understand that her dog is dead, she’s Been dead since the start of DL. Breaking apart that delusion was actually Very important to her breaking apart her worldview. If that information was false, what else was she wrong about?

And this is explored through her alliance with BigB. See, the Nosey Neighbors were a fresh start for both of them. They both were re-learning how to trust themselves and others, relearning how to care for others and be cared for in turn. Them watching the server was a lighthearted way to vent their paranoia- again, both unpacking how they view the world and how they view themselves

LimL as a season did a lot to defang the games, for lack of a better term. The deaths were very much gamified, they weren’t nearly as serious as they previously were. Pearl and BigB used this environment to reflect on themselves. The world was chaotic, yes, but it wasn’t as cruel as they thought it was. THEY aren’t as cruel as they thought they were

Pearl makes the decision to be his protector, treating this as a test to show she doesn’t destroy everything she touches. Except, she hasn’t unpacked how she sees herself as cruel, only points that “cruelty” away from those she cares about, and that’s why acting as Protector comes so naturally to her

This is reinforced over the course of the season, but it’s only ever confronted towards the end after Grian’s plan resulted in the three of them being shot. BigB was left with under a minute left, causing Pearl to panic. Pearl immediately insisted he kill her for more time, with BigB panicking in turn because he “didn’t know how.” He was scared of breaking the bond they’d developed over the season and Pearl cut through that fear without hesitation

And here’s where her role as protector is solidified. The world is cruel and unjust, and everyone deserves to have someone to rely on. Pearl would be the foundation for others since nobody else was going to be.

Pearl had already made a promise to herself and to BigB to get him to the end. He would win that season if she had anything to say about it. Except Pearl isn’t able to keep her promise to BigB. He dies just out of eyeshot, and she is helpless to save him

Pearl doesn’t give up on being a protector, this decision influencing a lot of her actions in SL. She wants to be a solid foundation for the Mounders because she knows the importance of having that foundation- she knows the pain a lack of foundation can cause.

Also, the Mounders being a larger group acts as proof that she’s able to trust others again, even if that doesn’t register to her. Remember, LL created the precedent that larger groups are more dangerous, with smaller alliances being much safer. Pearl being able to function comfortably in a group of 4 just goes to show how much she’s grown as a character

SL goes on to challenge her new worldview in several ways. First it was Mumbo turning Red, him becoming excessively violent like he’d been in LL. This actually acts as a mirror to Pearl’s former self, since Mumbo’s pulling from the same logic she was pulling from in DL. Remember, Mumbo hasn’t been in other seasons, his only experience with the games was the confusion and paranoia of LL (I think the lighthearted confusion of the tasks actually triggered his and Lizzie’s paranoia, but that’s another essay). He hasn’t had a chance to unpack that like Pearl has, and she sees this as a failure on her part, doubling down on her Protector role for Joel and Bdubs

Second, Joel and Bdubs, losing their lives. Pearl was forced to reckon with the fact that she cannot keep them safe in the same way she couldn’t keep BigB safe last season. It brings back her fears of destroying everything she touches, even though she worked so hard to unpack that last season. She sees them dying as her failing to be their protector, and her clinging to Scar is a response to that. Pearl needed to prove to herself that she can save Someone, that she doesn’t destroy everything she’s a part of.

Pearl also sees Scar as an echo of who she was in DL, same as Mumbo. She refuses to let him spiral in his isolation. Except, circumstances make it clear to her that she cannot save him by being his protector, she cannot save him at all.

And so she attempts to sacrifice herself for him, just like Scott had done for her. Pearl thinks she will ultimately cause his demise and the only thing she can do is give her life for him

But Scar immediately shoots that idea down.

This is because Scar was unpacking the exact same idea- the idea that he is inherently cruel and destroys everything he touches. Scar recognized that Pearl was self destructing and Did Not Let Her. Pearl wasn’t allowed to be his protector, she’s allowed to be his ally, his equal

Pearl in turn is allowed to see herself not as a force to be controlled, but a person. I don’t think she even realized how she’d been dehumanizing herself until this moment

And I think she has conflicting feelings on Scar’s victory. On the one hand, she achieved her goal in having an ally make it to the end. On the other, Scar’s victory challenged what it even meant to win the games. Pearl doesn’t know if the victory was worth the path it took to get there, and she’s left in that headspace until the next season

[wholoveseggs]

Better than flowers♡

18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}

 ♡♡ Happy Valentines Day  ♡♡

You've always hated valentines day until Elijah changes your mind with a magical date.

3.2k words - Warnings: smut, oral, so corny and romantic it hurts …

You always hated Valentine's day because most of the time, you were alone. Last year, you'd just been dumped, so you spent the entire day in bed. It wasn't until you saw everyone's pictures from their cute dates that you really felt bad.

Even though you were dating someone new, you didn't expect anything. Elijah was always sweet and thoughtful, but you didn't want him to feel like he had to go over the top for this holiday. You had only been dating for a few weeks, so you were happy with just a card and a bouquet of flowers.

It was naïve of you to think that would be enough for him. He was the most romantic guy you'd ever been with. He would randomly buy you things or take you to dinner just because. He even planned a weekend away with you, which was the best.

So, when you got home from work on the 13th you found a garment bag on the bed and a note, you couldn't hide your excitement.

Y/n, I know you dislike Valentine's Day, so I wanted to show my appreciation for you the day before.  I'll pick you up at 8. -Elijah

He liked to leave notes like that for you. It wasn't surprising that he did this. He was such a romantic man. Sometimes it made you uncomfortable because it felt like it was out of a fairy tale, almost surreal.

You were curious about what was in the garment bag and carefully opened it, the hanger still on the inside of the sleeve. The beautiful blush-colored dress inside made your jaw drop. You gently ran your hands over the fabric, a slow smile spreading across your lips. It was romantic and flowy, the kind of dress you would see in an old Hollywood movie.

You took your time getting ready, making sure every part of you looked perfect. Elijah was worth going all out for. When you went to get dressed you noticed he had also bought you lingerie. It was incredibly luxurious, the set probably cost more than your rent.

You smirked to yourself as you slipped into the lingerie. You checked yourself out in the full-length mirror. It fit perfectly, and the color matched your dress. You weren't the lingerie type of girl, but sometimes you could appreciate how good they made you feel.

When Elijah knocked on your door, you finished putting in the pearl earrings he bought you when he asked you to be his girlfriend. The memory made you blush, he'd been so sweet when he asked.

You put your feet in your matching shoes before heading for the door. Your breath was taken away when you saw Elijah. His hair was perfectly styled, and his dark eyes were shining. He dressed for the occasion.

"Hi," he breathed out, giving you that cute lopsided grin. "You look- you look beautiful."

You returned his grin, pressing your hand to his cheek, enjoying the feel of the stubble there. "Thank you. So, where are we going?"

He reached up and held your hand in his, bringing it away from his face and placing a kiss against your knuckles. You could never get tired of that.

"It's a surprise," he said as he led you down to his car. 

“Always with the surprises," you teased.

Once you were sitting in the passenger seat, he smiled over at you, and started the car. He reached over to place his hand on your thigh as he drove. You turned on the radio, surprised when the song you always sang along to came on.

Elijah gave you a soft squeeze when he heard you start singing. He probably thought it was funny, you knew you were not the greatest singer, but you couldn't help but sing along to songs you knew by heart. Elijah always thought it was cute.

When you realized he was taking you outside of the city, your curiosity growing. 

"We're almost there," he told you, and squeezed your thigh again.

He parked in a gravel parking lot, there was no buildings near by, just a forest path. You weren't sure if you should be nervous, but you felt calm around him. He was always protective and sweet.

"If we are going on a hike I didn't wear the right shoes," you joked as he helped you out of the car.

"Not that kind of hiking, not tonight anyway," he commented, and you were a little relieved by that.

His hand held yours as you started down the gravel path. It was dark, you used his phone to shine a light. Your heels didn't do the best on the uneven ground. You stumbled a bit and Elijah scooped you up, making you giggle.

"If you are planning on murdering me in the woods, this is the most romantic way someone has ever done it," you joked, you couldn't help thinking of the worst-case scenario, it was just in your nature.

He chuckled and kept walking, his hands supporting your thighs and back as he carried you. "I wouldn't put in this much effort to just murder you in the woods, love." He teased.

You arrived at a clearing just before the sun was beginning to set. There was twinkle lights strung in the trees and a few lanterns that provided light. At the center of it all was a large wooden table set with plates, champagne, and roses. Candles were lit in every corner of the space.

There was a trail of red rose petals that lead from where you stood to the end of the table, disappearing into the dark of the woods. The moment was surreal.

"Whoa," you muttered, looking around in awe.

Elijah carefully placed you on your feet and held your hand. "You like it?" He asked, his eyes searching yours for approval.

"Elijah," you breathed out his name and placed your hand on his cheek, "This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I love it."

His hand reached up and cupped yours against his cheek. You could feel his blush. He always got so nervous and shy around you, and it was honestly the cutest thing.

Out of the woods came a few servers that began to put food on the table and fill your glasses with champagne. You smiled up at Elijah as he thanked the servants. He led you to your seat, and you grinned as he pulled out the chair for you.

"Such a gentleman," you cooed at him before sitting down. He sat down beside you, turning his chair to face you.

"I would do this for you every day if you would let me," he whispered, his hand sliding across the table and taking yours.

You didn't know how to respond to that so you took a sip of champagne and smiled. He continued smiling back at you, both of you growing more comfortable in silence. You talked for a while about each other's day and you finished off a bottle of champagne by the time the food was ready.

The meal was incredible. Everything was so good. You didn't even notice the sun had set because the whole area was lit up. Elijah had planned it all out and he was amazing.

The table was cleared and moved out of the way so you had room to dance. A violist came out of the trees and started playing, slow jams that you and Elijah could sway to.

You knew he'd been planning this for a while, all the trouble he went through, the lengths he went, just to make tonight special.

"You really didn't have to do all this, all I was expecting was flowers," you confessed.

His mouth brushed against your ear and you felt yourself growing warmer from the intimate gesture. "If I didn't do any of this, then you would continue to hate this holiday. I'm going to show you that it's worth celebrating."

"Show me then," you murmured, wanting his lips against your skin.

He pressed his lips to yours, his tongue lightly brushing against yours before slowly pulling away. "I'll show you every year, every holiday, for the rest of our lives," he promised.

"I can live with that," you purred and sealed your promise with another kiss.

"I do have a confession," he whispered, his fingers weaving through your hair.

You pulled back and looked up at him. His dark eyes were soft, relaxed. You sighed contently, feeling happy and loved. "I'm listening."

"I have another surprise," he muttered, and you hummed at him curiously.

He stepped away and held your hand, leading you toward the trail of rose petals. You held on tightly and leaned into his body. You couldn't stop the silly smile that was spreading across your lips.

Once you got passed the line of trees you could see the cabin. The rose petal trail ended on the porch. It was simple and quaint. Just as beautiful as the romantic clearing you were in just minutes ago.

He scooped you up in his arms. "Elijah!" you squealed, but quickly wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him.

Elijah quickly carried you up the steps to the door and set you down. You were both laughing and kissing. He smiled against your lips, his nimble fingers unlocking the door.

You let out a gasp as you took in the place, flowers were everywhere, their smell sweet and welcoming. There was a four-poster bed with vines of roses that were climbing the columns. A fireplace was already lit, making the entire place warm and cosy. The place was only one room, with the bed off to the side. There was a ottoman near the fire and even a telescope to look out into the night sky.

"Elijah... This is amazing." You sighed as you felt his arms slip around you from behind.

"You like it?" He inquired, his lips pressed against your cheek.

You rested your hands against his, leaning back against him. "It's gorgeous, thank you."

He took your hand and led you to the fire, where another trail of red rose petals guided you to the fluffy carpet at your feet. There were more gifts for you laid out, a massive teddy bear and a stack of chocolate bars. It all made you laugh.

"You are ridiculous," you teased, hugging him.

"Is that a good thing?" He mused, holding you and kissing you.

You hummed and sighed. "Yes, yes it is," you assured.

You felt butterflies fill your stomach, knowing what came next. The two of you had only had sex a few times, it was still new, and you were still shy around him when it came to intimacy. He'd always been respectful and sweet. It wasn't as if you were new to this, but he was unlike anyone you'd been with before.

You looked up at him. He gave you that smile that made you weak in the knees. You brushed your fingertips against the creases around his eyes, you loved how they deepened when he smiled.

He leaned in and kissed you slowly, softly, guiding you to the bed as his fingers unzipped the back of your dress. You pushed at his jacket, helping him shrug out of it. Your hands ran over his chest, fumbling with his tie. His hands pushed the straps of your dress down, kissing the newly exposed skin.

He helped you to step out of the dress, gathering it up to fold it carefully before he placed it on the ottoman. Always so organized, everything in place, clean, perfect.

But him seeing you in the sexy lingerie made him drop the dress. The look on his face was unlike anything you've ever seen. For a second it was almost as if he didn't know what to do. He seemed frozen in place, all he was doing was stare.

You felt your cheeks heating up under his gaze and you looked at him shyly. "Thank you for this," you told him, gesturing to the sexy underwear.

"It was a purely selfish purchase," he chuckled, closing the distance between you, his hand coming to rest on your waist.

He traced his fingertips across the see-through pink lace. His touch was gentle and loving. You were growing impatient. You were getting turned on by the way he was touching you, his eyes drinking you in.

You started working on the buttons of his shirt, undoing them slowly. He leaned down and kissed you again, his lips capturing yours. He walked you back to the bed, the back of your knees hitting the edge of the mattress.

He gently guided you to lie down, his mouth following yours, not breaking the kiss. You helped him to undress, removing the last of his clothing and tossing it aside.

You ran your fingers through his hair, admiring the way his dark hair was a little messed up. He smelled so good, like the cologne he always wore and just the faint smell of his natural scent.

He was on top of you, his hands holding yours. His lips were trailing soft kisses down your neck. His hips moved, rubbing himself against you. You let out a soft moan, your breath hitching in your throat.

"I love hearing the sounds you make," he confessed, his lips against your ear, sending a shiver through your body.

You felt the warmth of his fingertips brushing against your inner thigh. Your body tensed in anticipation. He was taking his time, teasing you. He kissed you slowly, his tongue gently slipping between your parted lips.

You wrapped your arms around him, keeping him close as his fingers teased your panties, pushing them to the side. He was still being slow, driving you crazy.

He groaned against your mouth as he felt how wet you were. You whimpered, feeling his fingers brush over your clit, circling it slowly, watching your responses. He loved the way you were looking at him, the sounds that were escaping your pretty little mouth.

He began moving down your body, kissing your neck, your collar bone, between your breasts. You reached up, trying to unhook your bra, but his hands stopped yours.

His lips closed around your nipple through the sheer fabric. You ran your hands through his hair, pulling on it, urging him to continue.

He continued to move lower, down your belly, smiling against your skin as he spread your legs, settling between them.

He hummed at the sight of your arousal, your wet panties clinging to your skin. He kissed along the waistband, his tongue peeking out to taste. You could feel his breath, as he moved the delicate fabric to the side.

Your hands tightened in his hair as his mouth found your clit. You couldn't help but rock your hips, pushing against his mouth. His hands moved over your thighs, his fingers digging into your skin as he devoured you. You moaned softly, your toes curling as his tongue slid inside of you.

He looked up at you, his eyes watching as you started to fall apart. He wanted to stay this way forever, with the taste of you on his lips, the sounds of your pleasure filling the room.

Your breathing was becoming uneven, your moans growing louder. Your thighs were trembling, your back arching as his tongue flicked against your clit.

You let out a soft cry as your orgasm hit you. Your eyes shut tight, your hands gripping his hair, trying to keep yourself together. His tongue was still on you, working you through the wave of pleasure.

He kissed his way back up your body, his lips capturing yours, his fingers caressing your face, pushing your hair back. He was looking at you like you were the only person in the world, and it made you melt.

He was resting between your legs, his erection pressing against you. He was still for a moment, his gaze soft and warm, just gently kissing you.

"I love you," he murmured.

You couldn't stop the smile that was spreading across your face, and neither could he. You ran your fingers through his hair, holding him closer. 

"I love you, too," you said, your voice barely a whisper.

He pulled your panties off, his eyes never leaving yours as you pulled off your bra as well, tossing it aside. You felt a blush creeping up your cheeks as his gaze fell upon your naked body.

His hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you close, your legs wrapping around him. He eased into you slowly, watching your eyes widen then turn hazy with lust.

His lips found yours, kissing you passionately as the two of you moved together. Your hands were tangled in his hair, pulling on it as you formed a perfect rhythm.

You looked down to watch him slide in and out of you. He was holding back, trying to make this last. He was always so focused, his expression almost stoic, his breathing even.

Your hands ran down his shoulders, gripping onto his biceps, your eyes never leaving his, not even to blink. You didn't want to miss a second of this.

"You're beautiful," he murmured, his forehead resting against yours, his breath ghosting over your lips.

You felt your face grow hot from his words, and you kissed him to avoid making eye contact. You could feel his heart beating in time with yours. He caressed your cheek, tilting your head to look at him.

You couldn't hide from him. He was looking at you so intensely, all of his love pouring out of him. He smiled at the sight of you, flushed and sweaty, you were gorgeous.

He cupped the back of your neck and held you in place as he kissed you again. Your legs began to tremble as another orgasm crept up on you. You moaned against his mouth, trying to keep your breathing even.

You couldn't hold back anymore, not with the way he was looking at you, the way he was touching you. You came, moaning his name, his fingers laced with yours, your foreheads pressed together.

He followed right after, letting out a low groan that made your skin prickle. He kissed you, his mouth swallowing up your cries.

You wrapped your arms around him, clinging to him as the two of you rode out the high. Your heart was still racing, your breaths ragged.

The light of the fireplace cast an orange glow over the both of you, your bodies intertwined in the low light. You smiled at him, kissing him softly.

"That was a lot better than flowers," you giggled, feeling a little silly and lightheaded.

He chuckled, the sound rumbling deep in his chest. "I'm glad you enjoyed it." He hummed, kissing you again, his fingers caressing your cheeks.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Elijah," you whispered, nuzzling his nose with yours.

He brushed his lips against yours. "Not yet, it's still the 13th," he reminded, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips.

"Does that mean we have another night?" you purred, giving him a playful smile.

"I like the way you think," he teased, kissing you again, rolling you on top of him.

He held you close, the both of you giggling as he kissed you all over, making you shriek and squirm.

You'd never had a Valentine's Day quite like this one. But you hoped that this was just the first of many.

♡♡ Today is my three month anniversary on here & I just want to say thank you so much for all the love ♡♡

♡♡ Tag-List ♡♡

♡ @gorgeouslydangerous ♡ @starkleila ♡ @lydia1369sworld ♡ @notleylaaa ♡ @vampiresluv ♡ @vamprium ♡ @myanmy ♡ @xflowerbombxo ♡ @maryvibess ♡ @always-and-forever-daydreaming ♡ @criminallminds ♡ @theesexystallion ♡ @rosemarypotion ♡ @spnaquakindgdom ♡ @amournoir ♡ @loving-and-dreaming ♡ @meeom ♡ @damienmorton ♡ @wickedmuse ♡ @sunkissedebony97 ♡

[thecoolerliauditore]

Pls tell me about Scott's views on women in general pls I'm begging you

o7 and I'm sorry

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

fyi, the post itself isn't NSFW, but I'll be getting all gender theory in this bitch so I'll be referencing a lot of things and putting in pictures of naked ppl sometimes. maybe skip this one if you don't like that

(long post)

Disclaimers

An explanation for the tweet up there

I usually don't write these because I assume the people on my blog have enough sense to realise when I'm talking about the characters vs the CCs or are comfortable enough being a little confused, but I feel the need to extra-clarify here and expand on how I specifically view C vs CC because I think it differs a little from the average person.

To me, C and CC are two separate entities but not entirely disconnected. What differs (e.g. the exclusion of irl relationships -- their wives, kids, etc.) is poignant enough to severely detach them from the people they originated from, at least in my eyes, but there's also the fact that these are not scripted characters, just creators being themselves with a hint of behind the scenes drama-adding and improv thrown in.

For example, CC Pearl is a car nerd. So I assume her character is too.

This is where I state very clearly that yes, a lot of these thoughts come from things I've seen on Scott's twitter, which is undoubtedly the CC and not the C. However I, to me, am still talking about the C because any observations/judgments I could make on actual irl youtuber CC guy Scott Major would be tabloid at best and slightly invasive at worst. I'm seeing these statements within the context of "the death game guy would say this too and I'm writing this based on that", not "this is the inner psychological workings of the youtuber because I, as a fan, can totally tell".

TLDR I don't consider this post RPF but you might. This is a little more RPF-y than my usual stuff. If you don't rock with it we cool.

Everyone is weird about women, and that's okay

One short-hand I've used in the past to talk about Scott and women is just by saying that he's "weird about women" which I'm sure isn't exclusive to him.

(shitpost I made awhile back)

I see a lot of people now who love "villains" and "evil" but when it comes to any traits resembling real life evil (e.g. misogyny in this case) they suddenly become insecure. Just a couple of days back a saw a post on twitter essentially asking for permission to continue liking CC Scott in spite of the "bad things" he did.

And I think, in order to present an analysis like this, I must address that mindset first.

This is not a judgment on Scott's morality, nor is it trying to dissuade you from liking him. This is not saying that he is any more misogynistic than any other player in the series. This is just me pointing out Scott's attitude towards women and what I read it as, nothing less or more.

The feelings that me pointing these things out - be they apathy, disgust, anger or, what I would hope to see most, interest - are your own. I'm not here to tell anyone how to feel and never will try to police that on my blog.

Scott's Relationships with Women

aka. oh yeah this is about minecraft.

Scott and Cleo || "Yeah, you can kill me."

Scott and Cleo's alliance is arguably the strongest in the entire series, spanning through all five seasons and remaining unbroken with no (serious) drama attached. You'd expect from this that they two have a very settled and stable understanding of eachother, yet this isn't a case.

Their power dynamic shifts dramatically from one season to the next.

3L's initial Widows Alliance began on fairly equal footing, built on the mutual agreement that they were waiting for their respective partners to die. Both understood they were eachothers' "plan B" and felt comfortable in that arrangement.

Come LL, Cleo does what she couldn't in 3L, and initiates that plan, going to Scott after her last alliance, the fairy fort, fell apart. Scott requests nothing from her in return.

DL is the longest the two spent as eachothers main ally. Cleo is the one who initially proposes teaming up to spite their "cheating" soulmates and Scott agrees. Cleo admits to Martyn in private that she's aware she's taking advantage of Scott (which I've always interpreted as her talking about all seasons, not just DL). Due to the time they spend together, it's here where it becomes apparent that their initial assumptions during 3L were not entirely accurate, as Scott shows a level of gameplay competency much higher than Cleo's (e.g. teaching her how to axe-crit) but despite this Scott never berates her or thinks any less of her value as his ally.

LimL is probably this pairing at their most unhinged, as Scott, despite once again asking for nothing (or very little -- I'll be honest I'm a bit fuzzy on this) in return from Cleo, allows them and their allies to butcher him repeatedly for time. He gives more time to the Clockers than he does to Martyn, his closest ally that season. Despite this, Scott is never ever considered as a "family member" by the Clockers, despite them giving that title to even temporary allies (like the Bad Boys being their cousins) -- even Martyn gets a title with Scott completely unattached.

SL is relatively more chill, but shows that the two inevitably end up teaming together even despite their oath to avoid eachother that season.

The point being -- again and again, we see Scott literally and metaphorically making sacrifices for Cleo, with the only real transaction he requires from her being that she continues having his back when times get rough. This is despite that he's aware she isn't any more capable than he is and the fact that so far it has only been Cleo in rough times (LL, LimL and SL) and never Scott.

Speaking from a purely transactional perspective, Scott is not getting a bargain here -- and even Cleo seems acutely aware of it, judging by her comment during DL as well as the way she tends to speak of her survival capabilities very lowly in general ("rubbish pvp skills and spiffy one-liners"). I'm speaking in this sense because I've seen discussions in the past about the transactional way Scott views relationships but rarely does Cleo get brought up.

This is at stark contrast to how he treats Jimmy, whose predicted death was what spurred on Scott and Cleo's alliance in the first place.

Scott assumes Jimmy is "incompetent", where he assumes Cleo is capable. When Jimmy messes up, he reprimands him, when Cleo struggles to crit him, he patiently teaches her. When LL begins, Scott's first instinct was to look at Jimmy's lives and note that he was "useless to (him)", but holds no objections to Cleo joining his alliance despite her already having enemies being a potential liability. In SL, he jokes about how Cleo and him being allied is a given and pretty much expected of them, whereas in LimL he explicitly requests from Jimmy a recognition that he still cares ("say love you back!") before he will help him.

Scott and Gem || "You HAVE TO kill me, Gem,"

In SL, Gem settles in very easily in a leadership position within Gem and the Scotts due to her trying to live up to her reputation but also due to Scott and Impulse's more laid back, passive playstyles.

Both Scott and Impulse let Gem kill them for extra health this season, although Scott is arguably much more subservient than Impulse is, with him not only insisting that she kill him in the final episode but also not fighting back (and only yelling for her to stop) when she starts hitting him with a sword during the episode where her task was to literally kill everyone on the server.

Once again comparing her to Jimmy, Scott in 3L had a tendency to brush aside Jimmy's concerns over alliances (e.g. Jimmy questioning if they could trust Cleo) while in SL Scott runs his plans by Gem (and Pearl and Impulse) in terms of who he wanted to team up with (specifically excluding Joel from the potential mounders alliance) implying he held her opinion in some form of regard.

Before this becomes less of an analysis of Scott's treatment of men vs women and more of Scott's treatment of Jimmy vs everyone else, I think it's notable enough to mention that he and Martyn also lacked this sort of communication in LimL. He would inform Martyn of his plans, but rarely was it ever framed as a request.

SL almost feels as if Scott has slid Gem into the slot he had previously designated for Cleo in 3L (his girlboss ally) as he provides her and pretty much forces onto her by the end the acts of service he'd become accustomed to performing for Cleo.

Scott and Lizzie || "You killed her! I don't.. I don't know what to even say!"

Relatively shorter section because this is the one woman he hasn't teamed with, but there's still some interesting stuff I wanted to touch on.

In LL, one of the first thing Scott does is yell at Pearl to revenge-kill Joel for boogey-killing him. Pearl does as she's told and Joel's wet miserable pathetic LL life gets worse from there.

Several episodes later, the roles are reversed -- Lizzie lies to both of them and manages to isolate and boogey-kill Pearl. Scott, instead of reacting with the anger he had for Joel, is almost in a state of shock as he asks Lizzie to let him down so he could collect Pearl's belongings. He doesn't act aggressively towards Lizzie at all, with his most antagonizing act against her being to lie about his intentions when giving her a wither skull.

In SL, he's the only one aware of her early permadeath, but keeps quiet about it almost as if he's in a state of shock akin to when he saw Lizzie kill Pearl in LL. It's not until the others have noticed when he finally brings it up.

Scott and Pearl || "Tilly death do us 'part"

I wrote a whole post just for their relationship alone so for the sake of my sanity I'll be leaving this here.

So now I get to dedicate this section to the meat of this post -- how the way Scott treats women in general impacts his relationship with Pearl and how I view his heel-turn on her as seeping with relevance to Pearl's perceived gender.

In all three of the previous sections, the running theme is that Scott is 1. kinder and more patient with women, regardless of their competency and 2. someone who likes to be in a supporting role to women, occasionally aiding them more than he aids himself and his closer male allies (e.g. Jimmy and Martyn). As shown with Cleo, he assumes that girls have it together, but even if they don't it's not a big deal. When a girl's actions are truly disastrous, such as with Lizzie's, he goes into a state of shock and doesn't really react, preferring to swallow it down and not acknowledge it.

With the amount of times he sacrifices himself, I don't think it's a reach to say that Scott values his own life less than he values the lives of his (female) allies. This specific point actually does extend to his male allies too, shown when he's happy when Martyn literally backstabs him in LimL, but just as with the Martyn post where I point out his victim status-ing doesn't end at only women but includes all the women, Scott has pedastal-ed all the women he's teamed with.

Lizzie is, once again, the exception here due to his limited interactions with her. However that's actually somewhat patched over if you look at adjacent series (such as x-life) where he definitely shows her a level of admiration and respect.

Back to Scott and Pearl.

Their relationship during LL is very standard of how Scott treats women. While the power dynamic between them is obviously more caused by the initial life trade agreement, I don't think it's a far reach to say that Scott is somewhat comfortable in the arrangement.

However, this is also the first thing that sets their relationship apart from Scott with Cleo or Gem -- Pearl is the one making sacrifices, not Scott. She is the one "sacrificing" her lives to him, just in a more non-violent way as allowed by the season's mechanics.

When viewed through this lens, Scott trying to make it up to her and wanting his effort acknowledged makes even more sense. This is suddenly uncharted waters for him. His assuming that Pearl doesn't value him as a person goes hand in hand with him valuing himself less than her.

What Scott has with Cleo or Gem, situations where the other party is clearly uncomfortable with how he treats himself (Gem) or actively aware they are taking advantage of him (Cleo), is equalized to him because he is inherently worth less. What he has with Pearl, on the other hand, looks more equal to most people (lives vs labour) but is wildly imbalanced to him.

It's one of the many factors I see going into Scott's weird decision to abandon her in DL.

An Interlude, Before We Get to DL

La Pieta, Michelangelo

So this has been a lot of words so far and some of you might be wondering at this point: why say Scott is "weird" about women when so far this has been describing how he values women more, is kinder to them, is more patient with them, etc.? How is any of this behaviour remotely misogynistic?

And I would feel horrible if I forced you to read through all of my DL thoughts before I clarified this -- Scott is not your classic wifebeater "women are lesser" misogynist, Scott is someone who subscribes to misogynistic schools of thought and probably considers himself an ally to women, when in reality his beliefs are still rooted in dehumanizing them and these beliefs end up harming the women around him as well as himself.

After all, seeing women are your superiors is still not seeing them as your equals.

I know it's a bit of a meme on this blog at this point. But. Sigmund Freud identified what we know refer to as the "madonna/whore complex", which he described as a pattern of behaviour in men who separated women into being madonnas (pure, holy and admirable) and whores (debased, sexual, deviant). We'll be focusing on the former, the madonna, as it is more relevant to Scott's character.

Freud proposed that the madonna figure was something men projected onto women as a replacement for maternal love. These women are sacred and untouchable, literally as the projection of the maternal role onto them also makes it so that the sufferer cannot feel any sexual attraction towards her (keep this in mind for later).

Scott projects the madonna figure onto his female compatriots -- they are to be protected, served and supported. They are goddesses, queens, but they are never human. The madonna role in of itself is not inherently harmful to the woman, as seen with Cleo who takes control and advantage of it. However, it is enforced, as seen with Gem who at first revels in the superiority but almost breaks down when Scott offers him up as her sacrificial lamb one last time.

I linked this Utena AMV awhile back when vaguely talking about Scott and women, and this was the point I was alluding to.

Girls are beautiful and pure. They don't spit on the street, they don't piss on the street, they don't build hierarchies -- they subvert all the expectations of masculinity that I hate having to deal with. They are my escape.

But what about the girls who do spit on the street? The girls who piss on seats? Who build social hierarchies, who size up their competition?

The girls Scott interacts with are all painfully human. Cleo weaponizes his beliefs and take advantage of him. Scott is smart enough to know and accept this. Gem's playing into a role she has been assigned into by not only Scott but everyone around her. Scott supports the character she plays. Lizzie reflects traits he hates in Joel and Jimmy, but for her, he looks the other way.

Are they "demons", as the song says, or are they no longer girls at all?

(demons, gods, but never humans)

Weaponized Femininity and Women In Total Control of Themselves ;)

Hylas and the Nymphs, John William Waterhouse

Historically, weaponized femininity I'd argue is one of the oldest tropes in storytelling. Whether it's nymphs or sirens or witches or succubi or even more roundabout cases like Helen of Troy, there's countless stories of men's sexual attraction to women leading them to disaster.

One way to view these stories is to see them as warnings, don't let womens allure be the end of you.

There's a lot of good writing done on the femme fatale trope both in the context of weaponizing femininity and as a sexist way to argue against victims of sexual assault, as these stories often say that men who experience attraction to these "evil" women no longer have agency over their own actions.

Look at the painting above, for example - is it the nymphs who are responsible for drowning Hylas, or is Hylas climbing into the lake of his own accord?

Despite the fact we all know sirens, nymphs and succubi aren't real, the belief that men will simply lose control of themselves when encountering a particularly alluring woman persists to the modern consciousness. That there's something inherently dangerous about women and attraction to them.

(this is not 100% applicable to Ninja saying he won't stream with women, but it's the real life example I felt most comfortable putting in here)

Now, let's combine this with what's been said so far -- let's say you don't hate women. You love women, in fact, and you hate the way men treat women. You hate men, in fact.

Yet, you still believe in this inherent power women hold by being female and the loss of agency that men experience when attracted to them -- how disgusting.

It quickly becomes easily to not only demonize men for sullying the holiness of women, but also men, masculinity and attraction to women as a whole.

(apologies for using twt discourse in the meta post but this flew by my TL and i had to grab the irl example of mens non-violent attraction to women being used to frame them as misogynistic before the stupid app refreshed and i lose everything forever)

"To Venner" is a student film exploring a world set within this belief, where all the women have vanished and the men have become monstrous figures as a result of their pent up sexual frustration. fyi this is one of my favourite student films (and ive watched a bunch), but I do think its messaging is worth breaking down (especially its juxtaposition of dirty horrible monstrous sexuality vs pure and beautiful romantic love)

NOTE: this film is super graphic, lots of violence and nudity. have fun. or not

I admit this section is a bit hard to gauge as everyone in the series is gay as fuck. The closest in-series example I can think of is Scott reacting to Martyn's antics in DL with a sort of indigence but otherwise I can't really think of an example of a man expressing attraction to a woman at all, let alone one Scott reacted to. However, I do think it's still worth talking about because it opens up some interesting trains of thought in regard to Scott and Pearl.

For Scott, he himself has never been part of the picture. He's gay, after all, which gives him an edge over the bad straight men who objectify and assault women. Likewise, there's little evidence to suggest he finds the expectations of masculinity frustrating, but I don't think it's too far a reach considering how common of an experience that is for gay men and his adapting of more feminine mannerisms.

Double Life and Corruption

As mentioned in my previously linked post about Scott and Pearl's relationship, I do think Scott experiences what he would name as attraction towards Pearl, so my writing will reflect that.

Pearl is. ahem. not like other girls.

Not actually. But to Scott, she probably isn't like other girls.

She remains unaware of his different standards for her (how could she when she had nothing to compare them to), she acts out, sometimes violently, against Scott's urging (such as when she stole from Scar's wagon). She maintains their already irregular dynamic, and while she appreciates his care for her, she never quite falls into seeing him as a source of subservience the way Cleo or Gem do.

At the end of LL, right before the 1v1v1v1, she monologues to herself that she no longer has to feel bad for killing Scott. Which, in turn, implies she expected Scott to give it his all against her as well.

She entirely fails to embody the madonna with her immature naivete and her questionable morals. She is unpredictable, she doesn't take what she is owed, she is a monster in a lot of ways.

Scott, too, is a monster, to himself, for how he feels about her.

The very foundations of your understanding of yourself being ripped apart aside, let's rewind to the madonna/whore complex. To sexualise the madonna is to corrupt her and make a monster of yourself. Suddenly, you are no better than the men around you, the ones you've grown to hate. Suddenly, you are the grotesque figures in films like To Venner. You are Hylas and she is the nymph. And you are so stupid. Your worldview crumbles around its flawed foundations.

Scott is, however, immune to this corruption. This is a theme that appears in Empires as well, but throughout the traffic series he's prided himself on being loyal and kind and good. His monologue leading up to LL's 1v1v1v1 summarizes it quite well.

He can't let himself or anyone else see this side of him, but the energy needs to go somewhere. To defy fate, abandon your soulmate, is to admit you had a fate in the first place, is to acknowledge that she was your soulmate in the first place.

I've previously talked about how fate and romance are very ingrained in Scott's belief system, if it was anyone else it would've been amazing. He could've been like Bdubs and Impulse or Ren and Bigb, diving into domestic life and performative romance with a stranger. Or the world could've made his happy ending from 3L real, as he got to be Jimmy's husband all over again. I think it says something that he accepts Cleo as a "soulmate" before Pearl.

So what do you do with all that energy and tension, clearly apparent to yourself and everyone else, when you can't let them observe your feelings?

You project them.

Shout-outs to @/legally-allowed-to-slime for pointing out Pearl's comment early on in DL that she "feels like (she's) been broken up with" confirms she never saw Scott in a romantic sense. The "crazy ex-girlfriend" and "this is why I'm gay" comments really did come out of thin air, or perhaps insecurity.

Pearl is the crazy one. She's insane, because she wants me. She wants to be with me, so she does all this crazy stuff. She's lost control of herself because she wants me. She's disgusting.

I mentioned before that Scott is not your classic misogynist, but this is where the gears start turning. Scott's views of Pearl echo that of other players, most prominently Ren and Martyn, that Pearl has been overcome with some sort of corruption. She has become the witch, the demoness, the whore, in their eyes. Scott does not want to be the same as these men and I think his overcorrecting his behaviour in SL makes sense when you view it from this angle, but for now he has to rely on more traditional misogyny in order to navigate this new obstacle.

"Corruption" also implies that she had to have been pure (or at least pure-er) beforehand, something Scott personally knows is not true, but it falls in line with defaulting women to being "madonnas".

This is a Scott post but. shout outs to Ren for being all of this about Pearl but without the complexity of Scott like he literally accuses Pearl of seducing Bigb what the fuck man.

Pearl is, of course, none of that. But she plays into the role of being the witch much better than she fared playing into the role of the madonna.

Sidenote: I know I'm looking at this from a Scott/Pearl POV but I do feel like you can omit Scott's attraction if you look at it from a purely "pearl not performing to standards of femininity I expect and she makes me realise I don't view women as a whole as human which makes me feel weird so now we have to do this" POV. Like idk I think the exact reason he abandoned Pearl is going to be lost on everyone forever so any analysis I could perform is going to suffer at least a little bit of making-shit-up-itis.

I do also think there's something to be said about Pearl being pushed until she performed a role, any role and generally failing at Being A Girl tm but that's another post i think. yknow shes um. a bit. 🏳️‍⚧️ (but also very much not at the same time idk that's gonna need its own post)

anyway yeah uh the minecraft movie looks crazy huh

[purple-nightfall-writes]

real talk though i'm legitimately so excited for each and every one of the teamups this season. banger after banger after banger. genuinely, no sarcasm, i really do love how many of them are reprises of some sort. it feels like we're getting a lot of the best teamups from different previous seasons all mixed together in one series and it's gonna be SO hype to watch it all play out.

the gaslight gatekeep girlboss impulse team is gonna be SO fun to watch! even just in the first episode there's already been double life callbacks that are just so excellent from a character angst perspective. scott and cleo ribbing pearl about winning double life and pearl just playing into the absolute perfect level of "awkwardly laughing along" for her character. c!pearl teaming up with the people who betrayed and abandoned her in the darkest game for her, trying to act like everything's okay and this is fine she'll be fine it's all gonna go fine. oh this is gonna be SO juicy. also impulse is there and i love that for him. c!impulse is the perfect counterbalance, a stranger to their fraught history, just awkwardly glossing over the tense atmosphere and hoping it all goes fine. this is gonna be so good i'm HERE for it

return of renchanting is just absolutely incredible them just immediately falling into lockstep as a duo they're perfect no notes can't wait to see how devastating of a story those two make for us this time

team bet already has such a fun dynamic with ethubs scrapping like an actual married couple on the verge of divorce and tango just egging them on, i was laughing so damn hard during their interactions they just have such excellent chemistry and i CANNOT wait to see where this goes. also iirc tango hasn't teamed with bdubs since last life i'm sure it will go excellently hehe >:) no lingering fear of betrayal there nope

sub-one club is hysterically funny i'm so happy to see grian and mumbo teaming they have FANTASTIC creator chemistry and skizz has such a good dynamic with both of them. whatever the hell they have going on with mumbo's paranoia arc is SO hilarious i was crying laughing during that bit. also just grian teaming with Those Two is gonna be hilarious in terms of like. the wildly contrasting levels of situational awareness

god the bam team i love them so much scar and jimmy are such a fun duo together and i love lizzie so much. they have such underdog energy and everyone is talking about how they won't survive long but i think we're forgetting that scar is actually like. really good at the game. i do think jimmy has gotten a lot better too i think they're gonna do a lot better than people expect. lizzie is a wet cat though and i love that for her

gemjoel is a terrifying teamup they're going to absolutely scare the hell out of everyone when they start making enemies. just so excited to see how their dynamic develops too as the season progresses.

bigb is a surrealist force of chaos and i love that for him

basically i'm pumped as hell for this season it's all gonna be so amazing and i just can't wait

[pickastitch]

what a lot of people seem to miss when analyzing c!gem is her savior complex and how prevalent it really is

think of every single player series she has, always helping a village/villagers; afterlife and hc s9 transforming a village was also a large part of those series. in afterlife she purposely triggered a raid to be officially "hero of the village" also justifying the raid through unconnected things (a random blue moon) afterwards the village is actively on fire from her and she comments on how a few iron golems probably died while still calling it a victory (afrterlife ep 10)

it even extends outside of npcs. the most notable example being in esmp s1. she stood by fwip and sausage no matter what, but when jimmy asks for her help, gem doesn't do anything right then and there. instead, she has a private meeting with jimmy to ensure him that she can help him (esmp s1 ep 8). with xornoth, she was one of the biggest helps tracking information about them, even if it was detrimental to her own well-being (an example being getting kidnapped in ep 13). saving the ender dragon, saving sausage, saving shrub, saving joey, "saving" scott. giving scott unwanted help is what led her to be partly corrupted by xornoth, and sticking so physically close to fwip is what made crystal cliffs one of the most vulnerable empires to the rapture

you could also argue that this trait appears in esmp s2, though less obviously, because in lore, she is the one who is producing the majority of golden carrots. another example within this series is her religion. in the episode, she introduces it in (ep 11) with the goal of it to 1. look cool, 2. ensure everyone is safe from phantoms. she states over and over again how the church/religion is to help the people. while none of this is malicious and doesn't harm anyone, it exemplifies their need to provide

in secret life, the way she keeps, purposely or not, being the leader of armies; though the ender dragon fight holds the most weight here because she chose to do that. after the boogeyman apocalypse, she outright states, "i seem to be a bit of a hero on the sever" (ep 8 7:07). actively positioning herself in such a way to prove to anyone listening or to herself that she was in the right for murder basically everyone for zero benefit to the victims. cleo even points out how she will have to turn on pearl/the mounders eventually, but she refuses this notion because she believes that she can save everybody

[stirringwinds]

are there certain visual themes or imagery you yourself particularly associate with yao as an artist or writer? i'm trying to visualize the nations better...

hmmm, interesting question. i like incorporating nature imagery into the hetalias, especially old nations like yao. there's something mythical and compelling about the sense of age and vastness that evokes. these are some (non-exhaustive) thoughts i've had:

a. i always associate yao with rivers and water; the Yellow River in particular, which is often seen as the "cradle" of Chinese civilisation (but of course, there's also the Yangtze, and the Pearl River too). rivers are life-giving but also untameable, powerful and dangerous—the Yellow River's fertile silt birthed agriculture and civilisation, but its destructive floods have claimed uncounted lives over the millennia of Chinese history. and...that's kind of how yao is, as a nation and an empire, towards others of their kind. the source of cultural and artistic innovations, but also death. water can be fluid, life-giving and nurturing, but also as treacherous as a torrential flood sweeping everything away, no?

like the Yellow River's relationship with humanity, yao's impact on world history feels to me like this duality of life and death; peace and warfare; mentor, empire, conqueror... it's like, yao's been a teacher to many others but...i don't think their predominant image of him is as a warm and nurturing figure. maybe more so with his own people, but less so with other nations. being the old warlord he is, he'd say certain things very matter-of-factly (especially to yong-soo and kiku), about how power is the only language their kind universally understands, or about history being written by the victors (when we consider how the only surviving written sources about certain periods of asian history are only chinese ones...), inasmuch he'd talk about the importance of confucian virtue, integrity and humility on other occasions.

b. for obvious reasons; dragons—they and rivers both have that overlapping association of being serpentine, powerful and untameable. in contrast to how european dragons often took on villainous roles and were harbingers of disaster, it's important to note chinese dragons usually have far more positive cultural connotations. they symbolise prosperity, fortune and are guardians; often associated with power over water (so again; Yao and rivers and water.) many dragons are associated with a particular river or sea. they're also believed to have powers over the weather and were often prayed to. after all, the capriciousness of the rains ruled people's lives so much through natural disasters or made a difference between a bountiful harvest and a famine. so, i think at various points in history his people might also have understood him as a literal dragon (spirit/deity) walking around in a human guise. dragons are also a visual staple of chinese culture, from statues to jewellery. at the same time: while they're auspicious symbols—dragons can of course have aggressive and far less benign connotations if we consider how they became symbols of the emperor—and thus chinese imperial power and dominion over others. he evokes majesty, but also dread from that perspective.

c. plum blossoms: much like the sakura in japanese culture, plum blossoms are one beloved motif you'll see showing up in chinese art and literature throughout history. they're elegant and ethereal, also a symbol of both transience and renewal in a way, i'd say—their blossoms wither and die, but they come back each year. there's also that saying about how without a bitter cold, you won't have the sweet fragrance of plum blossoms, because they start blooming in winter. that's...very yao to me. china, as an idea, makes me think of a lot of elegant and refined traditional culture (like poetry or paintings) which plum blossoms recall—but i also think of humbler themes—the simpler idea of someone and something who is enduring, adaptable and resilient. who endures the harshest weather time and time again until spring arrives, the way my (peasant) ancestors probably did, carving their way through all the hardships of chinese history. yao might appear refined in an indulgent, wealthy way when he's dressed in his finest silk hanfu or a smart western suit in the modern day—but if you shake his hand, his palms are always callused and you can just see the weight (and hard-won experience) of centuries in his gaze.