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I feel like those of you who idolize certain members of Jackass or CKY just haven’t seen enough content of them to realize that they should not be idolized in any sense of the word. as much as I love them, nearly all of them have done bad or seriously questionable things and shouldn’t be treated like these wholesome perfect human beings who’ve never done anything wrong. Johnny and Bam especially.
Edit: I think people are getting confused cuz of the way I phrased this. I mentioned Johnny not cuz he’s a horrible person but cuz he tends to get idolized a lot despite not being perfect by any means.
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⭒ jack, twenty-one, american, vampire, poet, & engl major
☼ pisces, ☽ scorpio, ↑ leo
☕︎ favorite books/plays: The Stranger (Camus), The Secret History (Tartt), Inferno (Dante), A Doll’s House & Hedda Gabler (Ibsen), Beowulf (unknown), & The Iliad (Homer).
⚘ favorite poets: Plath, T. S. Eliot, Yeats, Frost, Homer, Milton, Poe, E. Browning, Bradstreet, Byron, Rossetti, Sappho, & P. Shelley.
⍟ favorite essays: “Total Eclipse” (Anne Dillard), “Knoxville Summer: 1915” (James Agee), “The Figure a Poem Makes” (Robert Frost), “A Sweet Devouring” (Eudora Welty), & “How It Feeks to be Colored Me” (Zora Neale Hurston).
✉︎ hobbies: reading, writing, drinking coffee, sleeping, working out, being with friends, going to the beach, & cooking/baking.
𐙚 blog style: dark academia, academics, chaotic academia, light academia, moodboards, essays, book quotes, poetry, confessions/secrets, & other random things.
✎ feel free to use my “confessional booth” button to empty your mind. I always read them carefully, but it may take me a while to respond.
summary: just some moments with johnny and the reader
an: yes i’m watching jackass 🫶🏼
PARTY BOY
johnny was busy taking a shower while you did your skin care routine. the jackass crew had made it to the uk and everyone was tired. you were more annoyed than tired, it seemed like every little thing annoyed you from waiting too long for the elevator to johnny’s snoring on the plane.
“did you call your mom? she wanted you to call when we land,” johnny said as he washed his body. he got no response so he slightly moved the curtain so he could look at you. “did you hear me?”
you hummed and continued washing your face. “yeah, call my mom although i’m pretty sure she won’t pick up since, you know, time zones.”
“are you going to be mad at me during the whole trip? i said sorry.”
you rolled your eyes and continued washing your face. while checking in, the receptionist of the hotel had said some flirty comments to johnny right in front of you and what did johnny do? he laughed it off then later when you were unpacking a little, he explained that he laughed because he was he didn’t know how to respond.
“come on, i know i was an asshole-” he saw the side eye you gave him. “i am an asshole, but this asshole loves you and you’re not getting rid you me that easily. you’re stuck with me, baby.”
“you’re still an asshole.” you mumble, grabbing a towel to dry your face.
then someone had knocked on the door, you still didn’t move from your spot, which johnny noticed. “you’re not getting the door, are you?”
“you’re so smart, philip.” you replied. through the mirror, you saw him sigh and carefully got out of the shower. you were being nice so you handed him a small towel.
“who is it?” johnny asked as he opened the door then saw that it was chris and tried to close the door.
“it’s party boy!” chris forced his way into the bathroom where he saw you in your sweat pants and bralette. “let’s party!” he danced around you then got into the shower with johnny, who couldn’t stop laughing.
“why did i open the door?” johnny laughed.
you joined their laughter as you saw the camera crew enter as well. “i’m not even tired anymore.” you watched as chris danced in the shower. after a while, you forgot you were even mad.
SILVER FOXVILLE
the filming of ‘jackass forever’ had to stop due to a virus so everyone had to stay home. you liked it since you could finally spend more time with johnny. you two did many things to get rid of your boredom like puzzles, bake, watch movies, sleep, swim in your pool and even more sleep.
during quarantine, johnny had decided to stop dyeing his hair. you didn’t think much of it since at some point everyone starts going gray, but once you saw johnny with his silver hair, you couldn’t keep your hands off of it.
when filming for the movie resumed, johnny was now sporting a full gray hair look and you loved it. in the mornings, you would run your hands through his hair, compliment him, play with it. he just looked even better.
when you and johnny arrived to the jackass forever set, all eyes were on him. jeff immediately let out the loudest laugh when he saw johnny.
“who are you and what have you done with knoxville?” jeff chuckled then he turned to you. “you’re dating an old man.“
“jeff, i can literally see your grays from here.”
GQ COUPLES QUIZ
“hi everyone! we are here to take the couple’s quiz.” you smiled. you and johnny were sat across from each other with flash cards in your hands with questions written on them. after many years of knowing, dating and marriage, you seemed pretty confident.
“okay, we actually did a game of rock, paper, scissors and johnny won so he goes first.” you explained.
“sorry sweetheart, you suck at that game, but i love you. okay, what is my middle name? we’re starting off easy.” johnny said.
without thinking, you immediately answer. “john. if i say your full name, do i get bonus points?”
“we can make up our own rules. i’ll give ‘em to you. but only because i love you.”
“love you too, philip john clapp.”
“next question, you watch snl right? have i ever hosted saturday night live?” johnny asked.
“no?” you weren’t sure if johnny was even allowed to be on snl, you were convinced all the jackass guys were banned.
“you’re breaking my heart, babe. you were there! system of a down performed and you watched them perform.” johnny scoffed.
“no, i remember system of a down but i don’t remember you hosting if i’m being honest. congratulations, i guess.” you laughed as johnny rolled his eyes.
“i really hope you get the next questions right. what was my number in the royal rumble match? again, you were there.”
“easy, number nine,” you confidently said. “nine is my lucky number.”
Here’s the third masterlist for all of my works!
If you want to check out more of my work, here’s the links for masterlist one and masterlist two
Imagines marked * are smutty imagines!
Imagines marked ` are requests!
Imagines marked ⭐ are personal favorites!
IMAGINES
STRANGER THINGS
small ~ jim hopper`
dance with me ~ eddie munson ⭐
starry night ~ steve harrington* (part five) ⭐
at the hip ~ steve harrington` ⭐
triple date ~ steve harrington (part six) ⭐
the freak ~ steve harrington (part seven) ⭐
oblivious ~ eddie munson ⭐
jason doesn’t know ~ eddie munson ⭐
this is music ~ eddie munson` ⭐
SUPERNATURAL
strange human feelings ~ castiel`
cleaning ~ dean winchester`
HANNIBAL
into fiction`
sob story ~ hannibal lecter
THE BOYS
obsession ~ billy butcher* ⭐
herogasm ~ soldier boy* ⭐
alone on christmas ~ billy butcher
can’t get too close ~ billy butcher ⭐
change in a heartbeat ~ billy butcher ⭐
the bad room ~ homelander ⭐
THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY
life father ~ diego hargreeves`
rescue mission ~ klaus hargreeves’ ⭐
THE LAST OF US (HBO)
friendly neighbors ~ joel miller ⭐
too sweet ~ joel miller
BARRY
attraction ~ barry berkman`
treat him better ~ barry berkman
AMERICAN HORROR STORY
late night sins ~ xavier plympton (1984)*`
VICTORIOUS
lost dog ~ tori vega`
junker ~ beck oliver
HEMLOCK GROVE
i don’t ever wanna see you with him ~ roman godfrey ⭐
THE VAMPIRE DIARIES
roses are red ~ damon salvatore` ⭐
OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH
captive ~ blackbeard/ed teach ⭐
PEAKY BLINDERS
moved on ~ thomas shelby
FUTURE MAN
winner ~ josh futturman* ⭐
GAME OF THRONES
littlest lion ~ oberyn martell (part one) ⭐
freedom ~ oberyn martell (part two) ⭐
THE WITCHER
destiny ~ geralt of rivia
DOCTOR WHO
looks of a princess ~ eleventh doctor ⭐
BRIDGERTON
by the lake ~ benedict bridgerton
THE GENTLEMEN
the assistant ~ raymond smith ⭐
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN
spirit of nature ~ jack sparrow`
THE MAZE RUNNER
i’ll keep you safe ~ newt`
MARVEL
how things are now ~ marc spector and steven grant` ⭐
kneel ~ loki*
the most wonderful time ~ bucky barnes
fast ~ pietro maximoff ⭐
1917
early morning ~ will schofield*`
THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT
happy birthday ~ javi gutierrez ⭐
FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S
i need someone older ~ william afton ⭐
the ice cream girl ~ mike schmidt
SALTBURN
new toy ~ felix catton ⭐
partners ~ oliver quick ⭐
THE SANTA CLAUSE
santa’s sister-in-law ~ bernard the elf
8 MILE
one of the guys ~ jimmy smith jr ⭐
THE FALL GUY
the space cowboy and the pa ~ tom ryder
A QUIET PLACE
i’d find you in any life ~ eric ⭐
GLADIATOR II
betrothed ~ emperor geta ⭐
PETE DAVIDSON
your gift`
favoritism`
HARRY STYLES
the perfect tree
a star in the making`
sleepy head`
MACHINE GUN KELLY
baby mama` ⭐
my queen*`
getting your attention*`
all the mistakes`
not what it looks like`
can’t keep doing this*`
EMINEM
may the best artist win*`
too close for comfort` ⭐
when it’s wrong but it feels right`
in the dressing room*`
he’s acting different`
we have to stop meeting like this`
every inch*`
let’s surprise the world`
i’m sorry i let you down`
GOODGUYFITZ
wake up call*`
CORPSE HUSBAND
letting go`
they forgot` ⭐
ASHTON IRWIN
home life`
cover me*`
CONAN GRAY
pushing`
MATTHEW LILLARD
accidental drunk confessions`
JOHNNY KNOXVILLE
feeling good*`
ALEX TURNER
more than a song*` ⭐
BO BURNHAM
can’t handle this right now ⭐
look at me*`
KRISTEN STEWART
special customer`
TARON EGERTON
he already has my approval ⭐
ROBERT PATTINSON
my favorite superhero
GERARD WAY
good girl*`
GWILYM LEE
history repeats itself`
RYAN GOSLING
play date`
JOSEPH QUINN
bad idea, right? ⭐
RANBOO
fluffy haired gamer boy`
JACOB ELORDI
height advantage`
MOTLEY CRUE
she is mine ~ mick mars`
CHRIS EVANS
not used to normal` ⭐
SWAGGERSOULS
our next step`
JSCHLATT
too far ⭐
the hotel room* ⭐
JOHNNY DEPP
just for us`
TRAVIS BARKER
the parent trap`
SHIPS
family reunion ~ hermione granger x draco malfoy`
HEADCANONS
showing pedro pascal fan edits ⭐
sitting on jschlatt’s lap ⭐
NSFW ALPHABET
rook (jp capellette)*`
eddie munson* ⭐
billy butcher* ⭐
i go by vera, she/her! i’m from a small town in england, i’m a metalhead, horror fanatic, video game lover and a collector of many things ^_^ i’m really obsessed with silent hill and and i’m bisexual - check out my featured tags for more tag navigation - this is a side blog, my virtual photography main blog is @day0fnight - my ao3 profile can be found here
my ask box or private messages are always open if you wish to talk about my works, celebrities, music, movies or really anything else!
request terms ❕request status: open!
you can request dating headcanons, nsfw alphabets or any other kind of specific headcanons for any band member, driver, movie or game character
you can also just send in your thoughts about someone, questions about me or my opinion on people and things
almost no band or band member is off limits for me, there’s a chance i might not be super familiar with them but i’d definitely do some research before writing for them! the only things i will not write is incest, necrophilia, age regression and pedophilia!
please be patient and specify exactly who you want and what you want the headcanons to be, you can request for any band or driver you like, not just ones i’ve written for before <3
“ you can take my heart, hold it together as we fall apart ”
✩ ✩ FANDOMS I POST FOR AND BLOG NAVIGATION
this list will expand over time!
TV AND MOVIE MASTERLIST
VIDEO GAME MASTERLIST
FORMULA 1 MASTERLIST
METAL MASTERLIST
CELEBRITIES I POST IMAGE ARCHIVES FOR AND BLOG NAVIGATION ✩ ✩
ANGELINA JOLIE - ALICIA SILVERSTONE - AMY LEE - ANDREI SVECHNIKOV - AUDREY HEPBURN - ADRIEN BRODY - AISHA TYLER
BÄRD EITHUN - BJÖRK - BRITNEY SPEARS - BEYONCÉ
COREY TAYLOR - CHRISTINA RICCI - CHRISTIAN BALE - CHRISTIAN SLATER - CHRIS FEHN
DREW BARRYMORE
ELVIRA - ELVIS PRESLEY - ELLE FANNING
IHSAHN
JENNIFER TILLY - JOEY JORDISON - JESSICA SIMPSON - JOHNNY KNOXVILLE
KIRSTEN DUNST - KEANU REEVES - KIMI RAIKKONEN
LADY GAGA - LANA DEL REY - LUCY LIU - LINDSAY LOHAN - LEWIS HAMILTON
MARK WEBBER - OYSTEIN AARSETH - MICHAEL SCHUMACHER
PAMELA ANDERSON - PARIS HILTON - PELLE OHLIN
NICOLE RITCHIE - NATALIE PORTMAN - NICO ROSBERG
RUSSEL CROWE - ROBERT DE NIRO - RIVER PHOENIX
SHAWN CRAHAN - SALMA HAYEK - SHARON TATE - SID WILSON - SEBASTIAN VETTEL
hello! I’m a big fan of your jackass fanfics and I have a request. What if Knoxville and reader just had a baby (reader is in the jackass crew) and they bring the baby on set and surprise the boys??? Sorry if this is too long 😭😭 anyways love ya bye 😘🫶🏽
Baby on Board
Y/N and Johnny bring their son on set one day, not realizing what chaos may erupt!
Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader
(Fluff)
820 Words
Warnings: None! :)
An: Thank you for the request!! Your request was not too long at all and I really enjoy long requests in general! ;) Anyways, as a warning I have been around very few babies in my life besides in passing, much less responsible for one, so I hope this is all accurate to real baby behavior! As a side note I’d like to thank you all for getting me to 100 followers! This probably deserves it’s own post but I just want to say that I’m so happy so many people enjoy what I write! I would love to do some sort of special or unique fic to come rate, so please send me any and all requests! :)
“So…that’s your baby?” Steve peered curiously at the little human in Johnny’s arms. He chuckled a little, “Well, it’s more Y/ baby. She did all the work- I just made a deposit at the bank.” It was a slow day on set, so you and your husband decided to bring in your new baby to meet the guys. You didn’t really know what to expect, but you were pleasantly surprised as your son reached out a little hand to Steve and his eyes went wide. It was no mystery that he hated babies in general, on account of their propensity for being doorstops that shit and cried, but for some reason this was different. Johnny noticed his reaction and cracked a smile, “If you want, you could hold’em.”
He nodded but didn’t really seem to know what to do after Johnny handed him over, just sort of holding your baby like this precious, fragile thing in his arms. It was sweet, in a way. While he was busy marveling, a production assistant came up and tapped Johnny on the shoulder, whispering something in his ear before trying to hurriedly usher him and you away to something or other that needed to be attended to on set. Johnny quickly turned to Steve as he walked away, “Hey, we’ll be back in five! Think y’could watch him?” There really wasn’t any way he could say no. “Uh, sure, I guess…?” Of course, that was the exact moment your son pooed all over him.
Maybe he wasn’t wrong about babies being doorstops that shat. Though he still looked calm, Steve’s eyes had a trace of panic behind them as he nervously looked around for someone on set to hand your son off to while he went to the bathroom to clean the stuff dripping off of his arm. The first person he found was maybe the only worse person to give a baby to- Ryan. He handed off that drooling little bundle of joy to him in the blink of an eye as he rushed away, “Hey, dude- just hold onto this for a sec.”
He knew even less what to do with the thing, holding the baby at an arm’s length while he kicked his little legs and giggled. Ryan eyed it with suspicion, unsure of what to do next. Steve was long gone, and he didn’t know when he’d be back, so in a moment of quick thinking, he did the only rational thing- handing it off to someone else. Effectively, this baby was being passed around like a fat little babbling football.
Johnny squinted, eyeing him up and down with suspicion at the absence of your son, “Steve, where’s the kid?” He dried the water that dripped off of his recently washed hands on his camo shorts. He sighed and said like there was nothing wrong with it, “I gave him to Ry ‘cause he shat all over me.” Of all people to trust with your baby, you just had to pick Steve-O. You rubbed the space between your eyebrows in frustration, “It’s a baby. It’s gonna shit!”
And so the wild goose chase began. The two of you eventually found the man you were looking for leaning against the side of one of the makeup trailers, beer in hand. “Ryan! Where the hell’s my kid?” Johnny was getting exasperated at this point, as were you. Ryan shrugged nonchalantly, “Gave it to some production assistant lady- Y’know, the one with the hair.” You fell slack jawed and started to wonder if any of these men had been around a child before, much less responsible for one. He sipped his beer “What? It had ‘poopies’. I don’t do ‘poopies’.” Blinking in disbelief, you furrowed your brow, “Okay- okay. Do you have any idea where the woman is?” “Yeah! She’s here all the time- see her every day.” Really narrows it down. Frustrated, you turned to Johnny, “I can’t believe we trusted him with your idiot friends!- no offense, Ryan.” Ever unconcerned, he shrugged, “Hey, none taken.”
After a few panic-inducing minutes of rushing about on set and stumbling into dressing rooms people may or may not have been in (sorry, Bam), you eventually tracked down the aforementioned production assistant. It was Johnny actually who found her, tucked away in some quiet room on set with your son (who had a miraculously clean diaper)- and someone else. In all your time as a mother, you never saw a baby more captivated with anyone than he was with Chris, pawing at his long hair with tiny hands and giggling while he made silly noises to entertain him. “Pbbtt! Goo goo goo! A- pbbtt!”
Johnny cracked a smile and waved you over to look at the sight. God, it was heartwarming. Relieved, you softly awed and he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close, “Well, I do think we’ve found our new babysitter.”
Corey Graves with the foreshadowing of all time in this old episode of Smackdown (February 19th, 2021)
Let's talk about this episode, shall we? Because the Sami & Jey dynamic is really interesting in retrospect
Let's talk about how this episode accidentally focuses on the samijey dynamic way before it became "a thing" - remember these were HEEL Jey and Sami - they were both at their lowest points, with Jey at his most volatile and aggressive (still reeling from his defeats against Roman) and Sami being an annoying, paranoid mess (this was shortly before the whole Johnny Knoxville thing).
At the start of the show, Sami interrupts a segment between Edge and Roman (the "real" top feud going on in SD at that time, if you'll remember - oof pandemic era) and immediately starts rambling, which Roman ignores, Edge laughs at and Jey just watches looking equal parts confused and curious:
man literally got the 🤔 going on
that was until Sami got the camera crew involved and started yelling into the microphone, at which point Jey lost patience and superkicked him - look at his face when he turns around to look at the camera guys he's soooo annoyed
classic samijey angst shot before it was a thing i'm just sayin'
Sami rolls to the outside after the superkick so Edge and Roman can resume their thing - and what does Jey keep doing during the rest of the segment? stare at Sami on the outside, of course
he just keeps doing it for no apparent reason
even while they're all making their exit, Jey's in the back of the shot staring at Sami, who's still down (lol at his little head popping up in the right corner of the frame)
cut to the main event tag match of heels Sami, Jey & Corbin vs babyfaces Daniel, KO and Cesaro. Immediately as Jey makes his entrance he and Sami start bickering
that's when you have that great line from Corey Graves about sparks flying (talk about foreshadowing lmao)
also let's talk about how Sami gets in Jey's face but Jey doesn't look phased by it and looks weirdly relaxed as he responds with "I got you"
they go on to bicker during the match, of course
but to also be the only two people to work together (we even pause the match at one point to have a classic "angry" tag spot between them)
and to put a cherry on top, they are also the only 2 to save the other from getting pinned
it's fun to see that even over a year before Sami famously approached Roman to officially kickstart the Sami in the Bloodline story arc, these two were already gravitating towards each other on a random episode of Smackdown 🤧🤧 it makes for really funny (unintentional) foreshadowing