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b4mpyre-k1zz3s · 2 months ago

Note

I loved your medic reader fic! Would you ever consider doing a follow up to that? It could be whatever you want! You write the guys with so much character and personality! ^_^

“Hello Nurse!” (Pt. 2)

Y/N’s contract is renewed, and as filming wraps in California and continues in Miami, she’s brought along on a whirlwind journey across the U.S. and discovers there’s more than meets the eye to this ragtag group of misfits.

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader, Bam Margera X Fem!Reader, Steve-O X Fem!Reader, Ryan Dunn X Fem!Reader, Chris Pontius X Fem!Reader

(Fluff)

5.4k Words

Warnings: Highly suggestive content, anal (Dunn and the toy car), crude language, light bullying, drug use, weed, opioids, alcohol, nudity, slut shaming, unsafe driving, injury, blood kink, medical settings, wound description, hazing, premature ejaculation, snakes, humping, threesomes

An: Thank you so much for this request!! I really love Medic!Y/N and I thought I’d take this story in a new and interesting direction ;) I would totally be open for writing more for her in the future, so feel free to drop a request if there’s something in particular you would like to see! Tagging: @sweetest-catha

Being a set medic means that, oftentimes, you end up wearing many hats. For example, if you told someone you were being forced via contract to watch a grown man rectally insert a matchbox car, they wouldn’t believe you- but yet, here you are. “Do- do I really need to be in the room for this…?” Bam stood at Ryan’s bedside clad in black pseudo-scrubs, playing the nurse to your doctor. That’s a nightmare in and of itself. He scoffed, pressing a stethoscope to Dunn’s chest, “Yeah- legal said so!” Ah yes, your old friend: the legal department. The reason you were still around to witness this wonder of nature.

Not even a month ago, you got your very first job as a set medic. According to Knoxville (which is what you had begun calling him, no longer Johnny or his least favorite, Mr. Knoxville), the crew decided to renew your contract because you were a joy to have on set! No other reason- no way… There was a lot more work to do for the movie anyways, and the production would be taking a trip to Miami, Florida to film some stunts in the sunshine state and maybe get some material on the road, and it’s not like they could just abandon their favorite nurse! So, in a dingy hotel room somewhere in California, you were standing by as Ryan laid back on the sheets with his legs up in a mock Lithotomy position and squirted some clear goo out of a tube plainly labeled ANAL LUBE, presenting you with two sticky fingers, “Y/N- y’think this is enough lube?” The cameraman standing in the doorway seemed to find your nervous reaction pure comedy gold, making sure to capture your stammering, “Ah- how am I supposed to know?! I mean, just- just try with that…”

Nurse Bam snickered at the shocked blush on your cheeks, getting this malicious little look in his eye as he whispered in Dunn’s ear, “Dude, you gotta get a little louder with this next one- Just watch ‘er…” Clinging to the wall with your eyes squeezed shut to block out what was happening, all you could hear were snickers and these squelchy noises that you really wished you didn’t know the origins of, before Ryan let out a low, provocative groan. When Bam asked him, “Is it in?” something in you snapped. Ry didn’t have time to respond before you, unable to stand the tension for a second longer, lunged across the room and simultaneously pulled Ryan to his feet with one hand and yanked up his shorts with your other.

While Dunn was getting whatever needed to be done over with in the bargain X-ray place, you slumped in the van with your head in your hands alongside the guys who were busy recording B-roll, “God, I feel bad for Y/N- she’s gonna have’t fish that thing outta him…” The implications here made you jolt awake, “Wait- I’m not gonna do it? I-I thought the x-ray guy was gonna take care of that!” This is a Jackass set for crying out loud! Shouldn’t they have a specialized ass doctor around here? Stifling his own laughter, Steve made a flimsy effort to calm your nerves by reaching around Knoxville to pat you on the back, “Hey, if it makes you feel any better, y’could’ve been in my ass if Dunn didn’t step up like that!” Johnny laughed, turning to address the camera, “Yeah, lesser’a two evils…”

Ryan declined any assistance with the removal process in spite of the constant goading from the rest of the crew, instead opting to yank the thing out himself in the bathroom. And after that, you hit the road. Since the cast and crew would be split up in two vans, Johnny thought it was only fitting to wish them off like a mom sending her sons off to college, “Alright, now don't you boys do anything I wouldn’t do! Have fun, take your medicine, and-“ Honking the horn, Bam yelled from the driver’s side window, “Get in, dipshit!” You were already in the van, squished between Steve and Chris, so close that you could feel the heat radiating off of their bodies.

It was around Barstow where you were staring out through a fogged up window which you were lucky enough to score a seat next to, when you spotted a sign on the roadside reading, ‘Don’t gamble with marajuana. In Nevada: Possession- 20 years! Sale- Life!’ Part of you found this really ironic, considering that, right next to you, Steve-O was getting fired like an over cooked McNugget, passing the joking right in front of you to Pontius. You didn't have an excuse to sit up front like Knoxville’s asthma or Bam’s bitching about how much he hates the smell of pot. How often do cops patrol this area? Maybe you weren't hiding your nerves as well as you thought because Chris held out the joint to you between two fingers. Were you really about to do this?

“Oh! I’m, uh- I’m alright…” Nope, you weren't going to do that. Pontius shrugged, opting to pass it back to Ryan in exchange for a can out of the six pack he bought in order to presumably drink his shame away. You tried to focus on the fact that you were a professional; you were here to do a job, and that job was to take care of these young men, whatever it is they put themselves through. Letting Knoxville’s prattling about gonzo journalism and Hunter S. Thompson wash away your thoughts, you looked ahead with apprehension towards the strip-hotel skyline rising up through the haze of the desert.

The plan was to stop at a hotel so the guys could film some stunt and be on your way. Neither cast nor crew would spill the beans but whatever it was, there was no medical liability, so you hung back in the room. So you walked in, laid down the bed, and exhaled all the stress that weighed on your bones. Little did you know that chaos was slowly encroaching in on your little slice of peace. No more than ten feet away, clustered in the hallway outside, there was this childish truth or dare energy that buzzed among the guys. Bam gave Ryan a playful shove, “You go first, since y’got it so bad for her…” Scoffing, Dunn shot a glare his way, “Listen- I took the car up my ass! That gets me off the hook for, like- a week, at least.” Ever the arbitrator, Johnny knew that he could illicit the best reaction out of you, so he shoved the two apart with diplomatic grace, “Boys, listen- I’ll take care’a this.”

Right as you laid down, someone knocked at the door. Assuming it was Jeff or someone else on the crew, you got up to answer it only to be greeted by something entirely unexpected: Johnny, naked. In fact, they were all naked! Practically letting out a squeak at the sight, your face burnt red and you couldn’t meet his gaze even with those shades that never seemed to leave his face. Keeping your eyes down, you realized that may have been the worst place for you to look at considering the only thing you had to focus on was a strip of lean, muscular, Hollywood tan flesh. Speaking to you through the one inch gap allotted by the still in place door chain, Knoxville sounded so casual, as if he was making fully clothed conversation, “Hey, Y/N! Me ‘an the fellas were just wonderin’ if you’d wanna go get somethin’ t’eat tonight!” You couldn’t help but silently wonder about what you weren't seeing, but quickly shook the image from your mind, you had a more pressing matter: the five entirely nude men waiting outside your room. “W-why are you all naked?!”

Vegas- the original adult playground, where big girls and boys go to behave poorly. Given the statute here for things you can get away with before you get arrested, there wouldn't be a better place in the U.S. to film “Nudist Hotel Crawl”. According to Steve-O, who was more than happy to explain, the premise of the stunt was to go about your business in a hotel like taking the elevator or walking through hallways- all while totally naked. They got some sweet footage, but the real fun would arise when their favorite evil mastermind (who came up with the whole ‘taunt the cute medic girl’ idea in the first place) suggested they pay you a visit. Of course, he left that last part out.

They had parts planned out, like when Chris popped up on his toes and used his buddy’s shoulder for stability, smiling at you with that goofy grin, “It’s pretty cold out here! Can we use the shower’t warm up a bit?” If there was something worse than someone seeing you with a group of naked men outside your door, it would be someone seeing said men be invited in. “Where the hell are your clothes!?” It was only after that left your mouth that you realized that their clothes were still in the room. God, it was like this was some demented Abbott and Costello routine…

“In here? All of you naked- with me?” Bam smirked at how suggestive that sounded, replying with quick thinking, “How else are we gonna get dressed?” You conceded with a sigh, fiddling with the lock, “Okay, fine- just…no weird stuff!” You didnt have enough time to peep your head out the doorway to check for onlookers before they all flooded in, laughing and whooping. At the back of the pack was Johnny, who seemed to linger by you for a moment while everyone else ran to the showers or started miming sex acts with each other’s naked bodies. The air between the two of you hung thick as he leaned down to murmur sweetly in your ear, “I’m serious about that dinner thing.” “You are gonna put on some clothes, right…?”

An upside to family restaurants is that they’re usually pretty loud, muffling any crude conversation enabled by the surprisingly free flowing alcohol. “See, that’s the problem-“ Bam slurred, gesturing over to Steve and Chris before taking a swig of whatever was in his glass, “you two’re attracted t’these, like- fake titty bitches with thongs hangin’ outta their ass an’ DSL, like- dick suckin’ lips.” The fact that you were hanging out with the talent in the first place while the rest of the crew- the semi responsible adults such as yourself- were asleep back at the hotel completely eluded you. Eluding you more was the fact you got roped into whatver conversation they were having, “Speaking of, Y/N- you gotta boyfriend?”

You felt like you were back in high school again…Well, you didn’t have a boyfriend, but why in the world would Knoxville be asking you that? Is this just another ploy to make you squirm? He seemed as if he didn’t care how his words made your heart jump into your mouth, languidly chewing as he stared across the table at you. Stammering, you swallowed your nerves, “U-uh…No, actually.” There was a beat everybody just stared at each other before Bam broke the silence by elbowing Dunn, giving him a very obvious eyebrow raise, “Ah! She’s single!” Chris gave you a smolder and Ryan rolled his eyes at Bam’s drunken antics, elbowing him back a little harder, speaking through grit teeth, “Thanks, dude.” And then there was Johnny, the ringmaster to this operation. He just reached over to you and playfully ruffled your hair, grinning in that cute, crooked way, “I was just curious, that’s all…”

After dinner that night, you were off to New Mexico, and it was Knoxville’s turn to drive. Nerves already frayed from the trip so far, you couldn’t sleep if you wanted to, much less with how Bam was sprawled out on both your and Dunn’s laps. Knowing you wouldn’t, Johnny spoke first, “Y’know, I gotta terrible habit’a fallin’ asleep while drivin’…” Well that assured you a lot. He gestured to you with one hand, “D’ya think you could grab me a couple’a those red pills from Steve-O’s backpack?” Steve’s backpack was the Baskin-Robbins of indulgence- yes, the Jansport slumped against your leg was more of a mobile police narcotic’s lab than anything.

Typical medic stuff, doling out pills, even if they weren't exactly yours…you’d put up more resistance, but you didn’t have much of an argument due to the fact that the cast shared pretty much everything else, ranging from clothes to women, so you just handed them over like the nice little pushover you were. “We’re lucky’t have you, Y/N. I mean it…” Johnny thanked you before throwing them back dry, “Y’know, you’ve got this…thing about you. Y’seem like you really care about us idiots.” Barely above the hum of the engine, Knoxville’s words were low and genuine. The way he was talking about you as if you were some set angel lit some fire inside you, steaming up your cheeks and making you avoid meeting his gaze in the rear view mirror. You replied simply, “Well, I do. It's what I do.” Oh, if you kept this up, Johnny might start feeling a little bad about tormenting you so much…Well, clearly he didn’t feel bad enough, the weight of his true feelings carrying over to something he let slip to plant some funny seeds in your head. “Yeah Dunn was right about you…”

Blood trickled down his limbs from angry, red flesh speckled by cacti spines, but Steve didn’t seem to be too bothered by it at all- you hardly noticed that lovesick grin plastered on his face as you diligently worked at removing the prickles lodged in his skin. It seemed the longer you were on set, the more real the injuries got…They were stuck everywhere- from his chicken scratch tattooed arms to his pale, narrow thighs that felt so nice with your hands rubbing against them to smooth the soreness…It didn’t help Steve had to strip down to his boxers as you crouched in front of him, sweat sparkling on your forehead under the New Mexico sun. Steve found the whole nurse/patient dynamic really sexy, but after that previous embarrassing, sticky incident, he’d been trying to keep his cool around you, which was doing a bang up job with, as evident from the way he absolutely botched that last attempt at that “Cactus Jump” stunt. Maybe it was a little more intentional than he’d care to admit, just a bid to get in this position again; It was all soft breathing and these warm touches too tender to stay platonic.

“Hey, uh-“ Clearing his throat to cover up the way his voice cracked, Steve looked at you with these glossy, semi dazed eyes, “Y’got any pain pills over there?” Ah, yes- memories of Ed the Medic and his assortment of multicolored opioids. Distracted by trying to grip a spine lodged particularly deeply in his thigh, you sort of dismissed him given how familiar you were with his righteous, clean living indignation towards painkillers, “Don’t you have some in your bag?” Before he could question you about knowing about his stash, you suddenly had more pressing matters to take care of: this primal, I’m talking primal, life or death shriek of terror you hurt maybe twenty feet away. Assuming something went horribly wrong, you lept to your feet to investigate. This is what you went to med school for- saving lives!

Well, not exactly. It was Bam, cowering in the face of a desert kingsnake. Well, it was more of a stand-off, but it was obvious who was losing. You called out to one of the cameramen nearby and started to walk the talent away to one side, “Hey, can we get a chair or something for Bam here?“ It's better to be safe than sorry when it comes to snake bites, so you gently sat him down and started the now routine line of questioning that follows a snake bite while inspecting high risk points: the wrists, the neck, etc. He didn’t seem like he was bleeding, and when you tried to ask if he knew if the snake was nevemos or not, you didn’t get much of an answer. Bam talked with his hands as he prattled on in this little-boy-lost-at-the-zoo voice, “It- it didn’t bite me- but that fuckin’ thing’s lookin’ at me, like-!” The snake was still sitting a few feet away when it suddenly lunged towards the two of you. It was pretty obvious it couldn’t do anything from this distance, but that didn’t stop Bam from flying backward and nearly topping out of his chair.

This was a side of him you hadn’t seen before. Previously, Bam was a schoolyard bully who’d shank you like a jailhouse snitch at his earliest convenience- or at the very least, try his damndest to make you squeal and cry by any means short of tugging on your pigtails. But are those tears you see? Initially, part of you thought he was playing some cruel joke to tug at your heartstrings, but the longer you looked at Bam- and Bam looked at you, with those big, baby blue doe eyes that just beg to be comforted- you saw another side of him: a weaker, more vulnerable side. And it sounds weird to say, but you really liked this side of him. Broken. Pretty…

As you knelt down in the hot sand next to him, Bam suddenly lurched towards you, clinging to you in maybe the most awkward yet strangely sweet hug you’ve ever received. Not having been trained on what to do in this scenario, you just sort of did what felt right, reaching out and rubbing his back, “You’re okay, you’re fine…” Your stiff but soothing platitudes seemed to ease the shaking in Bam’s shoulders as the guys all stood around and watched, snickering at how you were reluctantly mothering him, “The snake’s gone, you’re alright- you’re fine…you’re sure you didn’t get bit?”

If the broken air conditioner wasn’t an issue driving to New Mexico, it was certainly an issue driving through New Mexico. The guys were still giving Bam a hard time about the snake freak out by the time you were halfway to Texarkana, and Dunn was happy to finally get some leverage on him after all that shit he gave him about bein’ sweet on you, “Look at it this way- now that we’ve gotta lady who can kiss your boo-boos, maybe you don’t need’t live with your mom anymore!” You were amazed at the way these men could just be so mean and awful to each other and still stay friends, but hell- if that isn’t a testament to friendship. Still a little shaken judging by the look in his eyes, Bam whipped around in his seat to snap back, “First off, Ape lives with me, asshole- not vice versa. Second of all-“

Reaching into the center council, he grabbed a styrofoam fast food cup of soda and tossed it back at Dunn, inadvertently getting about half of it on you. This earned him a good shove, sending his cackling, half clothed body against the dashboard because of course these men don’t wear seatbelts. As the chaos unfolded, all you could do was sit there, dripping with soda, frozen while you bore witness to how quickly they all turned into animals. Well, all of them except Ryan, who noticed the dark, sticky mess on the front of your shirt and doubled over to scrounge around on the floor of the van, “Here- y’can wear this if you want,” Dunn sat up and smiled softly as you unfurled the wad of fabric he handed you- his shirt. “Sorry about Bam, he’s…well, he is normally like this, but he’s still an ass. Our ass.”

At the rodeo arena where they were supposed to film some bull stunt, you still wore Ryan’s shirt underneath your navy blue medic jacket, and you thought nothing of it. You’d been called in because Knoxville took a particularly nasty hit and wasn’t getting up, and if you had a nickel for every time that happened you’d be able to retire. The first thing you noticed when you walked in was the glassy, nine mile stare that Kossick was sporting- the growing uncertainty that he’s going straight to filming Milfbusters 7 after this movie gets shelved on account of their main star biting it. Kneeling down by Johnny’s side, you took care not to move him too much on the chance he suffered some degree of head trauma as you gently peeled the shattered remains of his glasses off of his face.

“Howdy, ma’am!” Knoxville grinned at you from the ground, surprisingly with all of his teeth intact, “I’m just a little concussed- I’m alright. Y’ain’t gotta worry ‘bout me…” Dismissing you the way men tend to do when they’re injured, he tried to pull himself up on his elbows but you gently guided him to lay back down, “I really don’t think you are…” Concern weighed heavy in your voice as you cupped his cheeks in your hands to get a better look at his face, “Only one of your eyes is looking at me right now, Johnny.” He swatted at the dust filled air dismissively, shaking his head, “Ah, that’s no problem- I wear glasses anyways.” Yep- par for the course in terms of head injuries. Slowly, you went about examining him, starting at gingerly running your fingers over his scalp to check for blood or lacerations and moving down to his neck and shoulders, “Tell me if you start feeling tired, okay?” Continuing the exam, you pulled up his shirt to assess for broken or bruised ribs and your eyes perversely wandered down to the hem of his shirt that was riding up, showing off his askew belt buckle and the dusting of hair that led below his waistband. Johnny let out an amused chuckle, his accent seemingly stronger post concussion, “Well, that ain’t gonna be happenin’ with the way y’keep touchin’ me, sweetheart…”

Off in the peanut gallery, you could hear Bam and Ryan jeering him from the stands in faux southern accents, “Ain't that the fella on TV?” “Seems like ‘Hollawood isn’t cut out for bein’a cowboy!” “Y’reckon we’ll git on ‘is show?” Completely uncharactic of you, the thought occurred to you to turn around and tell them off for acting like such children in this situation, but before you had a chance to open your mouth, guess who came bounding down the stairs to plop down by his buddy’s side and make sure everything was alright? Steve wiggled in right next to you, “Knoxville, dude! You there?” Johnny blinked, trying to get his eyes to focus on the weird tan blur above him, “Did- was it funny?” Steve grinned in that cute, boyish way he always did, “It was hilarious!” Holding his hand out for a high five, Johnny missed Steve’s hand by a good couple inches before he grabbed his wrist, pressing them together.

Knoxville was chewing Vicodin like Twizzlers to stay upright- and even then he could only barely stagger around, usually having to sling an arm around the shoulders of whoever was closest to him. That isn’t to say the other guys didn’t have their fair share of injuries: for one, Ryan hadn’t been able to sit right since the toy car incident, and for some reason you felt bad for him- a little more than you usually did with set injuries. Maybe it was due to the fact that the guys found it absolutely riveting, especially Bam, “Cmon, aren’t you used’t takin’ it up the ass by now, Dunn?” Turning around in his seat, Chris gave his two cents, “I’m not saying I would’ve gotten the footage you did, but if I was the one who took the car up the ass, I would’ve done it with a little more poise.“ While Steve, who sat curled up against the door sleeping off the antibiotics you gave him for those infected cacti wounds (surprise, surprise!), swatted at Pontius and murmured something about shutting up and letting him sleep. “Aww, Sleep-O’s gettin’ fussy ‘cause he didn’t get his nap?” You could handle this: banter, joking around- this was nice,

Since the usual instigators were out cold, things got pretty quiet in the van for a while until Bam, who was sitting on one side of you, leaned conspiratorially close to your ear, “Hey. Y’know Dunn’s got the hots for you?” Blinking in surprise, you tried to keep your voice low and only managed to stammer out a, “Huh?” All this time you thought he was just being nice to you! However, you had to admit, the idea did cross your mind once or twice…Still, Bam was fucking with you- he had to be. But now that you really thought about it, he really doesn’t seem like the type to make the first move. Gesturing to you and Ry with a black painted nail, his voice dropped to a teasing coo, “I mean, if you’d be up for it, maybe the three of us could-“ Cutting him off before he could finish whatever poorly thought out plan he whipped up to pass the time in the back of the van, Dunn reached behind you and swiftly whacked the back of Bam’s head, cutting him off, “Don’t listen to that idiot.” It took you accidentally sliding against Ryan’s side, practically snuggling in under his arm to realize what Bam had in mind, your cheeks going pink at the images your mind conjured. “Ah! I think she likes that idea!” All you could do was sit there and stew on what the hell just happened.

The cast and crew made a pit stop at his Knoxville’s folk’s place because his cousin Rodge’ had a pretty genius idea for this stunt that made great use outta some old paintball guns he found in the garage. It also helped that the little gang of hellions that were Johnny’s nieces, nephews, and unspecified cousins were more than happy to join in on the fun, taking up arms and firing away at our rowdy gang of misfits, which you had to admit was really fun to watch- especially when Party Boy ‘crashed’ the family reunion, dancing in the back gate wearing that shiny little mankini to be greeted by a barrage of neon splatters of paint. There was just something so endearing about the way Chris could laugh as he got pelted with paintballs while all the other guys were yelping or groaning in pain.

“What in the world’s wrong with that boy?” Rodge shook his head, putting down his gun as the guys hobbled off, resembling fucked up Jackson Pollock style preformance art. Limping over to where you were sat on a lawn chair, Chris still had that smile on his face as he spun around and bent down in front of you at a ninety degree angle, “Hey, Y/N- I think I got shot he-“ Having seen this trick before from Bam, you initially flinched away and your hands flew to cover up your eyes, “Oh!” But the thought occurred to you that Pontius didn’t really have any pants to drop and couldn’t flash his ass if everyone else could already see it, so you slowly peeled your fingers away to find him presenting you with a legitimate injury: one of those trademark C-shaped paintball wounds. Apprehension turned to curiosity as you cocked your head, examining it, “How’d they even get you there…” I mean, it was in his ass crack, which made it a definite infection risk, but this was something you could help with- now, at least, after a month or so doing this shit.

Walking him off to the side of the yard away from any prying eyes, you instructed Chris to pull his Mankini down as far as he can without exposing himself and chuckled that cute, dumb laugh that you’d come to associate with him, “Well, you don’t have to ask me twice!” As you gingerly dabbed a soaked cotton ball against the swelling, purple and red injury, he shivered at the feeling of the cold alcohol, “Ooh!” Not having extensive expereince dealing with asses, you assumed you might’ve done something wrong, “Did that hurt?” “No, ma’am! I think I got another one on my-“ Before Chris could finish turning, you whipped around, simultaneously flustered and shocked. Yeah, this was exactly the kind of thing he was good at: throwing people off just a little. Still, when Pontius was recruited to mess with you, he never got that serious with it, “I’m kidding! But I may have to call you later for some extra medical attention…” Stumbling to your feet, you walked away to where the rest of the guys were getting hosed off, face still bright pink with your voice about three octaves higher, “Anybody got any other injuries? Anybody!”

After what felt like an eternity but was really a little under a week, you arrived in Miami: tired, unshowered, and on the verge of putting in your two week’s notice. Sure, it was fun and all but a part of you knew you might not be cut out for this. You had half a mind to tell everybody to have fun before catching a flight home because you'd really had enough, but for a reason you couldn't really place, you decided to stick around. Maybe it was how nice the sun felt on your skin or the excitement that all of this was finally over with and you could finally take a breather.

Well, not quite. See, the whole reason they were going to Miami in the first place was to film a few water stunts. You’d spent a good chunk of the car ride listening to Bam prattle off about all these stunt ideas they had, namely, “Waterskiing D-Style” stunt- the one where Ryan was bent over and Bam was behind him in a faux humping position, with the two of them wearing waterskis and being pulled by a speedboat across the water- a pretty funny sight gag, sure. But naively assuming nobody could get too injured from relatively safe aquatic sports, you decided to hang back with some of the cameramen and PAs. “Y/N!” Putting an end to social hour, Jeff poked his head in the crew van and waved you over, pointing off into the distance, “Dunn just took a ski to the head- think y’could check on him?”

Rushing across the sand with med kit in tow to where Ryan’s pale, waterlogged body had been dragged inland, you dropped to your knees to peel a few wet, blond strands of hair away from his face to examine the fresh, candy apple red gash on his forehead. Blinking his eyes open, Dunn looked up at you with adoration behind his thankfully equally sized pupils. It wasn’t as serious as some of the other injuries you tended to, but it would need stitches- and soon, so in the meantime you started on cleaning up the affected area with an alcohol wipe. “Wow…You really know how t’take care of us.” Ever since that thing in the car you had been thinking about Ryan more, how unlike the other guys, he was never too awful when he got put up to fuck with you- always a little apprehensive to go too far. Clearing his throat, Dunn glanced up at you, “Hey, y’know when Bam said I kinda had the hots fr’you?” It was around then that he realized that, given the fact he had suffered a head injury, he kind of had a pass to say whatever he wanted with minimal repercussions, “Yeah- he was tellin’ the truth…”

Wait, what? Here- now?! Was this the heat playing games with you? Before you could slap yourself for not considering this sooner, Ryan reached up and gently wrapped his fingers around your wrist, tenderness slipping into his voice that let it slip he wasn't joking, “How about you and I go grab dinner sometime?” From further down the beach, far out of earshot, Dunn’s hump buddy from earlier yelled out to you, “Hey, Y/N! S’he gonna be alright?” Swallowing thickly, you tried to stabilize your voice as you shouted to Bam, “Yeah, he’ll be just fine!”

“Alright! Get the beers!”

#jackass #johnny knoxville #bam margera #steve o #ryan dunn #chris pontius #jackass fanfiction #jackass fanfic #fluff #jackass x reader #johnny knoxville x reader #bam margera x reader #steve o x reader #ryan dunn x reader #chris pontius x reader

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bullet-prooflove · 3 months ago

Text

Knoxville: Dean Winchester x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @gatefleet @cosmic-psychickitty @shanimallina87 @shadyhologrambanana

Companion piece to:

Gatlinburg - Dean falls in love in a tiny town in Tennessee.

With You - Dean tells you he's going to stay the night.

You, Me & Tennessee - Dean always returns to Tennessee.

On The Mountain - Dean wishes he was back on the Mountain with you.

Feral (NSFW) - Dean gets feral when he sees you with another man.

The blue and pink light from the neon sign behind the bar illuminates your skin as you throw a shot of tequila down your throat. You’re the prettiest damn thing in this place Dean thinks as he slips into the stool beside you, even when you are spitting mad.

You don’t acknowledge his presence, it’s like he doesn’t even exist to you right now and it hurts more than he cares to admit. The thing is he deserves every single ounce of your ire especially after what you’ve just caught him doing in the bathroom.

“I didn’t promise you anything.” He says finally, inclining his head towards you and you don’t say a fucking word as you focus on the empty shot glass. “Look, I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea…”

“No you didn’t.” You say as you raise to your feet and slap down a couple of bills for the bartender. “You were perfectly straight with me. I am just another fuck on your journey through the state.”

“Harlow…” He begins but you’re already walking away from him.

This shit tonight, it’s entirely on him.

Him and Sam were passing through Tennessee on the way to a job in Kentucky. Instead of driving directly to Gatlinburg where you were, Dean had decided they’d spend the night in Knoxville, less than two hours away because he was trying to avoid his feelings for you. He’d resolved to spend the night getting drunk in a vaguely familiar dive bar because it’s making his skin itch being this close and not seeing you, and he needs something to take the edge off. He’s two shots in when the blonde approaches him. Five by the time she leads him into the bathroom and he fucks her, which is what you walk into.

Jeans down by his ankles, balls deep in a stranger.

It’s the look on your face that kills him. He pulls out almost immediately, the blonde protesting profusely.

It’s as he’s tugging his jeans back up over his hips that he realises the reason this bar seems so familiar is because he’s been here before, three months ago with you. You’d been scoping it out for a bachelorette party, your friend Cindy was getting married. The blonde he’s fucking, she’s wearing a silk sash that says bride to be.

You’re in the parking lot when he catches up with you, phone clutched in your hand as you stand in the cold, waiting for an Uber. You’re wearing a forest green playsuit, cinched at the waist with black boots and nothing else. Already the temperature is dropping, he can feel the bite in the air as he strips his jacket from his shoulders and drapes around yours.

“You can’t do this.” You say gesturing at the jacket. “You can’t do boyfriend stuff like this and then tell me that you don’t care.”

It’s not just the jacket, it’s the other stuff too. Calling you from the road to check in every so often, driving over twelve hours to comfort you after another ranger was torn apart in front of you, the souvenirs he brings back from his travels because he knows you’ll get a kick out of them.

“I do care.” He responds forcefully, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “And that’s the problem. I care about you so fucking much, I’m going out of my mind not being with you.”

“Then what the fuck was that?” You ask him, jabbing your finger back at the bar.

“That’s what I do to forget you, I get drunk and then I fuck.” He snaps, his voice wrought with frustration. “And even that doesn’t work because the only thing that gets me there is thinking of you when we’re…”

He gives you a look and you know exactly what he fantasies about when he’s inside other women.

“Dean, I’m tired of this shit.” You say as the black Uber pulls up at the curb. “You either want me or you don’t and until you figure that out I don’t think we should see each other anymore. It only complicates things.”

You slip out of his jacket and Dean can feel his heart breaking as you hand it back to him.

“You know where I am if you want to find me.” You say as you open the car door, climb inside, slamming it shut behind you. He watches as the car pulls away from the curb before he sighs and heads inside for another drink.

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#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester imagine #spn #supernatural

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lilithknoxville · 3 months ago

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Could you perhaps do a Johnny angst with a happy ending? I don’t have anything particular in mind, just wanting to suffer 🫶🏻

Only You (Johnny Knoxville x Reader)

Summary: “Am I not enough for you anymore?” You threw your hands up in exasperation, “I mean - Jesus! You were practically undressing her with your eyes!” Your voice rose sharply, your chest feeling tight as you exploded on him.

“W-Wait a second!” Johnny’s voice rose, and he held up a shaking hand towards you, “Where are you even getting the idea that you’re ‘not enough for me’?” He asked, and you scoffed incredulously.

“When I watch my boyfriend eye fuck some blonde and look at her the exact same way he looks at me.”

Content Warnings: Mild Angst, Swearing, Insecurities

Word Count: 3,019

AN: aaaaaaaaah this was actually so much fun to write! I don’t know if this exactly the angst you were looking for, I do have another one I was writing with this ask, but I don’t know if I’m as confident in it as I am this one. As usual, no beta reader, we die like men. Requests are still open! Onto the story! ✨

You grit your teeth, the sound of the interviewer’s laughter almost like an ice pick through your skull. A sour expression was on your face as you tried to tune her out, but when your boyfriend purred another compliment to her, you hit your breaking point. It was no secret that Johnny was a natural flirt - Hell, most of the time, he did it unintentionally - but with how many compliments he had thrown at her, it was starting to feel like it wasn’t unintentional anymore. You had enough.

You turned on your heel, tears stinging your eyes. You all but ran to the exit door, slamming it open with your hands. You could hear a small commotion inside, the blonde’s voice asking if everything was okay, and something unintelligible from Johnny. You stepped outside into the hot June air of Los Angeles, your breath catching in your throat. You ran your hand up from your forehead into your hair, trying to clear your thoughts.

Your hands fumbled around in your Johnny’s flannel, trying to find the cigarette pack you had hastily grabbed this morning. You pulled out the pack, the lighter placed inside, and sparked up a cigarette. You took a long drag, trying to use the stale taste of the tobacco to calm your nerves.

It was a silent ten minutes, the sound of the city surrounding you, before you heard the door open behind you. You didn’t turn around, already on your fourth cigarette. You took a long drag, looking down at the parking lot in front of you, where the past three cigarette butts were scattered on the ground.

“Don’t you know those things give you cancer?” You heard the southern drawl of your boyfriend’s accent, and usually the sound of it would make you smile. You grit your teeth, closing your eyes.

“I’m aware.” You spoke simply, your tone cold and emotionless. The air between the two of you chilled, and you felt him come up behind you. He wrapped his arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder.

“You’re mad.” He commented, his tone amused, but when you turned your head to meet his eyes, he quickly realized that it was much more than a simple anger.

“And you’re Einstein.” You spat, pulling out of his hands. He reached out for you, but you held up a hand, stopping him, “Not right now.” You heaved out a sigh, running a hand through your hair.

“Doll, is this because of that interview?” He asked, confusion crossing his features, “I mean, I know I was laying on the charm thick, but I didn’t thi-”

“Laying on the charm thick?!” Your voice rose sharply, cutting him off. He blinked, looking taken aback by your sudden interruption, “Holy shit, if you call what you did in there ‘Laying on the charm thick’, then I’d fucking hate to see what you actually flirting looks like!”

“H-Hey, now wait a minute.” Johnny held up a finger, his voice stuttering for a moment, “Doll, I can explain.”

“Oh!” You laughed humorlessly, crossing your arms over your chest, “You can explain? Let me guess, it’s also ‘Not what it looks like’?” You asked, raising an eyebrow. The look on his face told you that was his next set of words, “Because I’ll tell you what it looked like, PJ. It looked like you shamelessly flirting, while your girlfriend was standing less than a fucking foot away!” You spat, your hands coming to your head in frustration.

“O-Okay, you’ve got me there. I can see how it came across like that.” He grimaced, and you laughed humorlessly again.

“Am I not enough for you anymore?” You threw your hands up in exasperation, “I mean - Jesus! You were practically undressing her with your eyes!” Your voice rose sharply, your chest feeling tight as you exploded on him.

“When I watch my boyfriend eye fuck some blonde and look at her the exact same way he looks at me.” You crossed your arms across your chest, wrapping them around you almost in protection. The sound of the cars honking on the street was making your emotions run even higher, and you shook your head.

“We will talk more about this later.” You held up a finger to silence him when he protested, “You’ve got more interviews to get through. I’m going home.” You dug the keys to your car out of your flannel pocket.

“Hon…” Johnny started, but you shook your head, meeting his eyes.

“I can’t sit here and watch the love of my fucking life flirt with other women like I don’t exist to him.” You admitted, your voice hollow, “I’ll see you at home.” And with that, you were stalking off across the parking lot to your car. You unlocked the doors, casting a glance over at Johnny, who hadn’t moved an inch. He was watching you with guilty eyes, and you tore your gaze away from him, getting into your car.

The drive home was silent, a pop song playing on the radio softly, but it was all background noise compared to the whirlwind in your brain. Your emotions were a jumbled mess of insecurities rearing their ugly head, deep sadness, and pure rage.

You made it home quickly, and you parked your car, sighing heavily. You let yourself in the front door, shutting the door behind you. You thought you would have a moment to yourself, but the piercing blue of Bam’s eyes caught you off guard. You crossed your arms, looking at the brunet who was currently laid across your couch.

“Do I even want to know why you’re here? Or how you got in?” You asked, leaning against the back of the couch, looking down at your friend.

“Johnny called me. Told me to be here before you got home.” Bam answered simply, sitting up on the couch and patting the space next to him, “Said you needed someone to scream at, and you know I’m your man for that. And you don’t want to know how I got in.”

“I’m not gonna scream at you, fuck.” You sighed, coming around the couch and flopping down next to Bam. You rested your head against the back of the couch, closing your eyes, “I shouldn’t even be as upset as I am. I know that rationally, but-”

“Seeing another girl smile at Johnny the same way you do sets your blood on fire?” Bam finished your sentence, and you looked over at him with depressed eyes.

“Yeah.” You answered slowly, the depression deepening on your face as you unpacked your emotions, “I know Johnny is an attractive man. I’d be stupid to think that there aren’t women who look at him and want him with every breath they take. But seeing Johnny playing into their fantasies - albeit with his words and not physically - just doesn’t sit right with me. I watched him look at that girl the same way he looks at me in bed.” You spoke softly, your eyes slipping closed again as you heaved out a sigh.

“I’m not going to sit here and say your brain is stupid for thinking like that.” Bam started, his finger idly spinning one of his rings around his finger, “But I’m gonna tell you that Knox isn’t one to fuck around on the one he loves.” You opened your eyes, looking over at him with a soft, confused look. Bam shifted uncomfortably, having to play therapist being something he wasn’t used to.

“Look, he was with this one chick for years.” Bam shifted on the couch to where he was facing you, throwing one of his arms over the back of the couch, “Her name was Brittany. He started dating her when we first started Jackass, and he was completely devoted to her. Anything she wanted, she got. If she even hinted at wanting something, he was immediately buying it for her. Every single second of his day was spent on her, and she took fucking advantage of that.” He swallowed, his tongue darting out to wet his lips.

“She was fucking around on him, behind his back. Everyone knew it. Hell, I think even he knew it, but he was too scared to be alone. She was all he had ever known, so he suffered through it. Multiple opportunities were opened to him during that to fuck around on her, but he never took it. He always said that two wrongs don’t make a right, so he wasn’t going to do unto her the same pain when he hated what was happening to him.” Bam explained, and it felt like your breath was stolen from your lungs, “So, I completely get having insecurities, but trust me when I say you have nothing to worry about for Johnny fucking around on you or randomly leaving you. He’s a people pleaser, yes, but all you have to do is talk to him and that comes to a complete stop.” Bam gave you a lopsided smile, “We all see how happy he is with you. He’s made a complete 180 turn from the broken dude he used to be, and - Fuck - you treat him like he’s made of gold. You two are made for each other, through and through.”

“Bam…” You pressed your lips together in a thin line, your mind racing, “I was a fucking bitch to him before I left set.” Your voice was quiet, and Bam let out a small chuckle.

“Sweetheart, I can assure you, you weren’t a bitch to him. You were dealin’ with some weird emotions, and if you can explain that to him, there isn’t gonna be any bad blood between you two. Knox is a good ass dude. He completely gets having insecurities, but he’s not a mind reader.” He looked at you pointedly, and you cringed slightly.

“And it’s not fair to expect him to know what’s going on in my mind if I don’t say anything.” Your voice was small, the weight of everything hitting you all at once.

“Atta girl.” Bam snapped his fingers, “You have to talk to him about how you’re feeling. He can’t just magically know what’s going on in your head without you talking to him about what you’re feeling.” He gave you another lopsided smile, and you let out a heavy sigh.

“I appreciate you, Bam.” You gave him a soft smile, looking over at him. He shrugged nonchalantly, opening his arms for a hug. You chuckled gently, leaning forward and wrapping your arms around him. Your mouth pressed against his shoulder, “I don’t know what I would do without you in my life.” You murmured into the fabric of his jacket.

“You wouldn’t have a kickass friend who pulls your head out of your ass and gives you damn good advice.” Bam joked, a lighthearted smile on his lips, and you let out a soft laugh as well.

It was a couple of hours later when Johnny finally came home, the smell of dinner cooking making his stomach grumble. Bam had been long gone by then, having sent Johnny a text that you were okay now. Johnny had tried to send you a couple of texts, but Bam advised against it, telling Johnny to give you space right now so you could sort through all of your emotions.

The sound of your gentle singing made Johnny’s heart clench in his chest, and he sighed softly. He closed the front door gently behind him, kicking off his shoes and placing them in the small shoe rack you had bought a couple of months ago. In his hand was a bouquet of flowers, a small piece of his long winded apology. He walked through the living room and made his way into the kitchen, his heart hammering in his throat. When he turned the corner into the kitchen, you were standing in front of the stove, stirring a pot with potatoes in it. You turned your head towards him, and he thrust the flowers out to you.

“Doll, I cannot apologize enough.” He started, his voice strained. You gently took the flowers from his hands, your breathing catching in your throat, “I just-”

“Baby.” You cut him off, blinking up towards the ceiling, trying to push back the tears that threatened to stream down your cheeks. You looked back at him, tears hanging heavy on your lashline, “You don’t have to apologize for anything. I promise you.”

“I do though.” He protested, swallowing thickly. You turned from him, gently placing the flowers on the counter as you turned down the burner that the pot was sitting on. You turned back towards him, “I’m always so obsessed with this stupid ‘bad boy, flirty southern’ image that I don’t stop to think about how it affects the woman I’m in love with.”

“You can’t beat yourself up too much, PJ.” You shook your head, your tongue darting out to wet your lips, “I got upset and angry with you, when I’ve never explained to you my own emotions. You’re not a mindreader, and it’s not fair of me to expect you to be one.” Johnny blinked in confusion, and you crossed your arms tightly in front of you, avoiding his eyes for a moment, “I know there are much prettier women out there than me. I’d be an idiot and completely vain to think I was the most drop dead gorgeous woman out there.” You swallowed thickly, meeting Johnny’s eyes, “It’s naive of me to think that no one in the world flirts with you - You’re extremely attractive. And it’s not fair of me to get upset with you when women flirt with you. But I can’t help but get upset whenever you flirt with them right back.”

“Doll…” Johnny whispered, but you held up a finger, cutting him off again.

“Please let me finish.” You looked at him, and he nodded, “I am so goddamned terrified that some wind is going to blow wrong and steal you away from me. I am so scared that some pretty blonde is going to waltz into your life and make you realize you don’t love me as much as you thought you did. I am beyond terrified that you’re going to wake up one day, look over at me, and ask yourself ‘Do I really like her as much as I originally thought?’.” Your voice broke with the threat of tears, and your breath was shaky in your chest, “I know nothing is guaranteed, but the idea of not waking up beside you is one that makes me so scared each and every single day. The idea of you just leaving me randomly one day is something that rattles around in my head like a fucking pinball, and it haunts my mind every single second of my life.” You ran your fingers through your hair, sighing heavily.

Johnny was silent for a moment, before he crossed the kitchen to you, wrapping his arms around your neck. His hand came to your hair, gently holding your head against his chest. He rested his chin on top of your head, before moving his head to where his lips were pressed against your hair. You gasped softly, clutching onto Johnny tightly.

“My babydoll…” He whispered into your hair, pulling back and looking into your eyes, “No one in this world will ever compare to you. No single person walking this earth right now, or that will walk on this earth in the future, will ever be able to replace you. If I lost you due to my own stupid mistakes, I would never be able to forgive myself.” His eyes were filled with genuine love and sincerity, and the sight made your eyes well up with tears again, “I promise you, there will never be a day that I wake up and question my love for you. There will never be a day where I will even entertain someone’s idea of being on my arm, because that’s where I want to keep you for the rest of our lives. I want to marry you, sweetheart. I want to watch our kids running around in the backyard, I want to grow old with you.”

“PJ…” You whispered, but he pulled you into a breathless kiss, his hand cradling the back of your head. Your hands ghosted over his wrists as he poured every single ounce of love he felt for you into the bruising kiss. After a few seconds, he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours.

“I cannot apologize to you enough, doll. Please forgive me.” He whispered, his eyes welling up with tears.

“Always, PJ.” You whispered back, closing your eyes, “I love you so fucking much.” You smiled up at him, and he let out a breathless chuckle.

“Oh, doll. I love you so much more.” He pressed kiss after kiss to your forehead, making you giggle, “There’s that laugh.” He murmured against your skin, a smile crossing his lips.

“C’mon, you gotta let me finish cooking.” You whined, giggling again as he pulled you harder against him, a deep grumble of protest echoed out of his chest, “I know you haven’t eaten all day, and I don’t want you to waste away to nothing.” You teased.

“Fine, fine.” He relented finally, letting you out of his arms, “Only because you said my favourite word.” He leaned back against the kitchen counter, smiling wistfully.

“What, cooking?” You stuck your tongue out at him, which made him laugh brightly. As you looked over at him, warmth and love bloomed in your chest. His words of ‘No one in this world will ever compare to you’ echoed through your mind and was a soothing, healing balm to your soul. You had a feeling that everything would be okay, as long as you two were by each other’s sides.

#jackass #johnny knoxville #mtv jackass #pj clapp #lilith’s writing #bam margera #johnny knoxville x reader #jackass headcanons #jackass x reader #jackass fics #jackass fic #lilith’s requests

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ashlynnlylim · 9 months ago

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Kinda half-assed Johnny I drew at work

#whatevr #I'll do bettr #jackass #jackass mtv #johnny knoxville #jackassblr??? idk is that a thing #like jackasstwt i guess but tumblr #jackass fanart #fart #heh #I dunno how this works

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strcwbrryklss · 2 months ago

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୨୧﹕ in your care .ᐟ oneshot

pairing ; johnny knoxville x fem!nurse!reader contains ; tension , flirting a/n ; in love with this man. summary ; after a flirty patient comes into your care at the hospital, your job seems a little more bearable.

JOHNNY WOKE UP, an unbearable pain gripping at the back of his skull. clenching his eyes shut, he groaned at the sensation of his achy limbs that haven’t moved for around 12 hours. his hands were wrapped up in bandages, both broken and battered, along with his head, where he suffered a concussion.

this wasn’t new to johnny, actually, it was pretty regular. his ‘thing’ was being dumb, putting himself into danger as if it was a game, which, safe to say, ends up here. he’s lost count of the amount of times he’s ended up in the ER. matter of fact, he’s probably been in the exact same bed he’s in now ten times before this.

it’s the same-old, same-old. he stays for a few days, gets given meds, gets sent home, and doesn’t take the meds (not in the way he should, anyway).

“good afternoon” a cheery voice was heard after a short knock at his door, the face of a beautiful girl peeking out.

although it hurt, johnny mustered up a charming smile towards the nurse, “afternoon ma’am”

you smiled, walking in with a tray of breakfast, “i’ve got ya some dinner, let me know if you don’t like anything and i’ll change it for ya”. putting the tray down on the table, you moved it closer to johnny so he could reach.

“i don’t think i’ll be able to eat, doll” he responded with a small smile, moving his arms up and showing the nurse his wrapped up hands.

mentally face-palming, you spoke, “oh right, sorry, i’ll help”. you pulled up a chair beside his bed, “well, lucky for you, today’s special is mashed potatoes and mystery meat. i’ll make sure it’s top quality”

“lucky me” he murmured, eyes sparkling beyond his black eye, “i can’t even pretend to be disappointed. best day i’ve had this week, in fact”

rolling your eyes with a slight smile, you scooped up a forkful of mashed potatoes, holding it out with practiced calm, “here ya go” you said gently.

as he leaned forward to take a bite, he kept his gaze locked onto you, “you know, i could really get used to this” he said, the words slightly muffled as he chewed, “a beautiful woman taking care of me? feels like something out of a rom-com”

you felt the warmth rise in your cheeks despite yourself, “i’m sure the novelty will wear off”, you said, pretending to brush it off as you prepared the next bite, “now, chew and swallow”

johnny snorted in amusement at the demanding words, his dirty minded humour taking over. you gave him a look, causing him to stop his immaturity’s.

“you’re very professional aren’t you?” he teased, eyes gleaming with mischief, “most nurses would have at least blushed by now”

“i’m just doing my job sir—”

“johnny, call me johnny” he corrected.

you nodded, changing the subject, “now, i think you’d like some of the… mystery meat…?”

“oh, i trust you, hun” he responded, shifting just slightly closer, his voice warm and low, “i trust you with my life, in fact”

“don’t get too dramatic” you said, unable to hide your smile as you brought a piece of the meat to his lips, “you’ll be outta here soon enough”

“only if you’ll visit me after” he murmured, taking a bite but never breaking eye contact. he chewed slowly, watching you with an intensity that made you stomach flip, “you know, you’re exactly what i imagined”

the nurse blinked, caught off guard, “what you… what?”

“you know, the whole ‘cute nurse taking care of me’ fantasy” he said, looking entirely too satisfied as he grinned at you, “i’ve been laid up in this bed for a while, and i’ll admit, i was hoping for someone exactly like you”

“you must still be concussed” you said, trying not to laugh, “i’m just here to make sure ya don’t starve to death while you’re recovering”

“well in that case” he smiled as he watched you scoop up another bite, “you’re doing a great job”

you could feel your cheeks getting warmer, but you didn’t dare break your professional facade. you could only keep up your calm exterior as you carefully fed him, listening to his endless, over the top compliments, and sidestepping his flirtatious glances. but the truth was, his charming southern drawl, easy confidence, and obvious amusement at your flustered responses — you enjoyed it. more than you wanted to admit.

when you offered him the next bite, he leaned just a little too close to your hand, catching your gaze as he murmured, “i think i’d heal faster if you were here everyday”

you swallowed, trying to ignore the flutter in your stomach. “you’re here for at least a few more days” you said, almost managing to sound casual, “so i’ll be around”

he smiled, a touch of softness in his gaze, “good. gives me a reason to look forward to meal times”

#johnny knoxville #johnny knoxville x reader #johnny knoxville fanfic #johnny knoxville fanfiction #jackass #jackass fanfic #jackass fanfiction #݁₊ ⊹ ݁˖ ⋆ strcwbrryklss

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jackassbrainrot · 5 months ago

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nasty new compulsion [dunn x f!reader]

desc: you're a part of the jackass crew. you and ryan are totally just friends ;)

a/n: another ry fic! touchy tease ryan >>>, can't stop writing him and oh my god this is so much longer than I expected it to be I just got sucked into it

warnings: smut, teasing, p in v, unprotected sex

word count: 1129

Being Tremaine's assistant is a pain in the ass, or more accurately, he is. Despite having to listen to him bark out orders the entire day, working on the movie has been fun, especially since meeting Ryan Dunn. He's somehow the most normal of the cast and you two clicked the moment you met. Everyone knew you'd become the best of friends due to Bam's constant bitching about Dunn replacing him. You'd reassure him saying you'd never be as close to Ryan as he was, which was true, but you'd never tell him you were closer in other ways.

You were fumbling with some mics behind a trailer, when you felt Ryan's arms wrap around your waist. He rested his head on your shoulder, his beard scratching your soft skin as he places teasing kisses on your neck. "Aren't you supposed to be filming?" You try to shake him off gently, not wanting to get caught by the others, though you couldn't resist tilting your head to give him more access to your neck. "Mm, no, they're doin' the muscle stimulator thing, they won't be needin' me for a while." You can feel his sly smile against your skin, his lips travelling up your neck to whisper in your ear. "C'mon, I need you."

"Don't say that!" You finally turn around, breaking away from his grip, your voice coming out as a squeak. He chuckles lowly, looking down at you with lust filled eyes as he pushes your body against the trailer. One hand on your waist, the other holding the side of your neck as he kisses down it again, making your breath hitch. The warmth of his body leaves yours suddenly and you look up at him with confusion.

"I mean, if you're not up for it, I guess I'll go join the guys." He's gone before you even get the chance to say anything. You hear Jeff yell your name and you quickly straighten yourself out before getting back to work. For the rest of the day you stare daggers at Dunn, watching him wink at you with a knowing smile across his face.

You're sitting in the passenger seat of Tremaine's car, Knoxville and Kosick in the back, arguing over who knows what. "Hey, Jeff, can you do me a favor?" You ask quietly, trying to keep your conversation far from your other coworkers' ears. "Depends." He replies, suspicion in his voice. "How long do you think you could keep Bam out of his room when we get back to the hotel?" He pauses for a moment before speaking again. "You owe me."

When you get to the hotel, you jump out of the car, smiling at Tremaine before running up the stairs to Dunn and Bam's room. Bam opens the door, a half empty beer bottle hanging from his tattooed hand already. "Jeff told me to come get you." You blurt out before he even gets to say a word and he groans "Now?" He whines, sounding like a teenager whose mom just told him to clean his room. You nod, trying to hide your smile as Ryan steps up behind him. "Go, before he goes all directorzilla on you." Ryan says, earning a groan from the younger man as he walks out of the room. You watch him go down the hallway before Ryan pulls you into his room.

"He's gonna come back in a minute when he realizes Tremaine doesn't actually need him for shit." He says with a smug look on his face, contrasting the hands softly holding your waist. "I asked Jeff to keep him distracted for a bit." A wicked smile spreads over your face as you look up at him, draping your arms around his neck. "Oh, you little minx." He looks down at you, his light eyes dark with lust, as he walks back until his legs hit the bed, sitting down and pulling you onto his lap.

Your lips meet his in a desperate kiss, your hands tangling in his hair. "Aren't you desperate?" He mumbles against your lips as his hands slip under your shirt. "Your fault." You breathe out and he chuckles before unclasping your bra and taking it and your shirt off in one smooth movement.

"Let me make it up to you." He says, flipping you onto your back on the bed. He hovers over you, kissing down your chest as he unbuttons your jeans. You help him take them off and he unhooks the towel hanging around his waist, throwing it across the room. His mouth latches onto your nipple as his fingers rub your clit slowly, making you whine out his name.

Your hand drops down to his hair again, pulling at his golden strands, making him groan. He trails kisses down your torso, sucking a hickey over your hipbone, making you squirm. Going lower, he makes sure to kiss everywhere except your pussy. You let out another whine, trying to push his head down when his movements still, looking up at your desperate expression. "Can't even take a bit of teasing, huh?" He mocks. "I've been taking it the whole day, asshole!" You cry out in frustration.

"Alright, alright." He puts his hands up defensively, kneeling between your legs, wrapping them around his waist. He leans down to kiss you as his dick enters you agonizingly slow, dragging a moan out of your occupied mouth. Your hips buck up but he holds them down, pinning you down on the mattress as he keeps his thrusts slow and deep. "Ry, please, I need you to go faster, please!"

"You need it?" He teases, watching you nod frantically under him. Suddenly you feel yourself getting picked up off the bed as he flips you so you're on top of him. "Take what you need, then." You move your hips at a pace much quicker than his was, holding onto his tattooed arms to keep yourself balanced. His hands roam over your body as he watches you ride him with half lidded eyes.

As you feel your body going taut, tightening around his dick, you lean down to kiss him to silence the scream threatening to slip from your lips. His dick twitches inside you, pushing you over the edge as you moan into his mouth, feeling his cum spill into you. You collapse, falling on his chest.

"I'm not sleeping there, that shit's contaminated!" Bam's scream rings out through the hallway, Knoxville's cackle following right after. Both you and Ryan laugh, lying next to each other, exhausted. "Well, no need to sneak around anymore, huh?" You ask, making him laugh again, before you both fall asleep to the sound of Bam whining about you stealing his best friend and his room.

#THE ENDING IS SO GOOFY I'M SORRY #ryan dunn x reader #ryan dunn #jackass #jackass fic #jackass fanfic #jackass x reader #jackass smut #viva la bam #cky

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